Hip, Hip, Hooray for Kvára´s Day!

Sindri Snær Jónsson (he/him)

Us Icelanders are well aware of the traditions around Bóndadagur, or Husband’s Day and Konudagur, or Women’s Day. These days are celebratory traditions are similar to Valentine’s Day, except that either the man pampers the woman or the woman pampers the man (samesex couples can certainly participate in this tradition, although my queer friends and I have little or no connection with these traditions). Recently, we as a society saw a reason to adopt Valentine’s Day in addition to these days, as one can see that all the advertisements have shifted at the beginning of February to accommodate. These traditions still take place in a society saturated in heteronormativity. Understandably queer people who grew up watching heterosexual people celebrate their heterosexuality will not feel the need to adhere to this tradition or feel that it applies to them. Even so, these days are occasions in which all cisgender people can take part, because at its core at least one woman or one man is needed. But what about non-binary people?

On March 22nd of this year, Kvára’s Day (kváradagur) was held for the first time in Iceland, but that day is dedicated to those who do not fit into the gender binary but still want to pamper their partner, as is done on Husband's Day and Women's Day. The Icelandic word kvár (which is declined like the word “ár”) is a relatively new word that describes an adult person who does not find themselves within the gender binary, equivalent to the masculine word karl (man) and feminine word kona (woman). The term’s wordsmith is Hrafnsunna Ross, who got the idea shortly before the Queer Word Competition held by Samtökin ‘78, the National Queer Association of Iceland in 2020, where people could submit ideas for new Icelandic words that encompass queer terms and matters. Regn Sólmundur Eva is a 24-yearold non-binary artist and is also the founder of Kváradagur in Iceland.

Regn Sólmundur Evu (they/them)

“As a child, I had no terms to relate to,” they said. “I felt that I was something different, but I lacked role-models, precedents and words to explain how I felt. It was a bit lonely, to be honest. Finally, in my twenties, I came to terms with the fact that I was non-binary, and I found so much freedom in that. To just be me. I sometimes mourn my inner child who often felt bad because they couldn't make sense of what they were experiencing.”

In this day and age, the problem seems to be rapidly escalating as to where non-binary people fit into the image shaped by heterosexual norms and gender binaries. Regn always found it difficult to deepen their knowledge of various national traditions and cultures in Western society precisely because it is saturated in patriarchal ideology, which most of us are familiar with.

“I thought it was an ideal opportunity to simply create a day of celebration since all traditions have to start somewhere, and just decide on a date.” This year's Kvára’s Day was held on the first day of einmánuður, an old Norse calendar month, the same way both Husband's Day and Women's Day are dated according to the old Norse calendar, where Husband's Day is always celebrated on the first day of Þorri and Women's Day is celebrated on the first day of Góa, which are also part of this archaic month system.

Regn also mentions that Trans Ísland tried to establish a tradition of a similar day for transgender people on the last day of einmánuður, but due to the lack of words and visibility regarding non-binary people, the festival was not held again until Regn established Kvára’s Day. Interestingly, they have been told that the first day of einmánuður is also the so-called yngissveinadagur, or Bachelor's Day, but they think it's okay that both holidays have the same date as they have never seen anyone celebrate Bachelor's Day.

“There can be two or more festive occasions on the same date. For example, my dad's birthday is on Christmas Eve, and I think both his birthday and Christmas are equally festive”. Regn says that they were very happy that this idea was well received and hopes that a tradition will be created around this day.

The next Kvára’s Day will be held on March 21st, 2023, and Stúdentablaðið encourages everyone to show support to their non-binary friends and celebrate the day.