Sowing Seeds of Kindness Helps Toddlers Grow Emotional Intelligence

Sowing Seeds of Kindness Helps Toddlers Grow Emotional Intelligence ,

By Lauren Mahoney Each fall as a new batch of parents arrive for their orientation to The Summit Toddler Program, I discuss three key themes that become our focus with their children: safety, independence and love.

Of course, safety is our utmost priority. And as a Montessori teacher, I strive to guide children toward independence and ownership of their own unique learning process. But then there’s that tough word: Love. What does this mean? What does it mean to love their children? And how can I best do that?

Lauren Mahoney, Head Teacher in the 2-year-old Toddler Program, helps Sebastian Swan and Finley Chavez with the classic Montessori pink tower.

I can show them my affection and tell them I love them, which I do beyond the shadow of a doubt, but I believe a teacher’s love for her students runs much deeper than a verbal expression of affection. How can I set these children up for success? We (myself and two other wonderfully talented teachers) walk in each morning to the eager and innocent expressions of 16 toddlers.

Their exquisite faces remind us that how we answer all of these questions is essential to our practice of meaningful education. As I have labored over these questions, one simple word has stuck with me. Kindness. To fully demonstrate love for these children, I must teach them how to be kind.

The seeds of kindness can be planted in a child’s soul and consciousness at a very young age.

Maria Montessori believed that if we are to have hope in mankind, we must have hope in children. “If help and salvation are to come,” she said, “they can only come from the children, for the children are the makers of men.” She saw kindness and peace as the glue that holds us together as human beings. The way I see it, I’m here to plant those seeds. The experiences Summit children have in the toddler environment 12 Winter 2012 - 2013

are the first in their educational journey. I am privileged to be one of their first guides to kindness, but it is also a great responsibility.

A growing body of research in education identifies a shift from rigorous academics to a heightened emphasis on the social and emotional development of children. Ellen Galinsky’s book “Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs” focuses on non-cognitive abilities. She analyzed research on early brain development that shows us aptitudes like focus, self-control, independence and resilience are greater predictors of success in children than IQ or test achievement. Paul Tough reveals in his book, “How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character,” that what matters most in a child’s development is “not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, selfcontrol, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit and selfconfidence.” He found that when kindergarten teachers were asked about their students, they identified the biggest problem they face is not that children don’t know their letters and numbers, but that children have a difficult time controlling their

Early Childhood Education Symposium

By The Numbers temper and calming down after a conflict.

What is astonishing about this recent research are the remarkable similarities to the findings of Maria Montessori’s research more than 100 years ago.

She found that children learn kindness and grow non-cognitive skills through the experience of community in conjunction with their own sense of independence. We see this happening consistently in the classroom, as early as toddler age. Because the child is free to choose, he soon learns that if someone else has chosen a work first, he must wait. This delayed gratification grows patience in the child, patience grows empathy and empathy grows kindness. They are all interconnected. Even further, when we allow the children to interact socially without our direct interference, they soon experience conflict. Researchers like Ellen Galinsky and Paul Tough have reinforced my notion that conflict is a good thing! Conflict helps them understand kindness in a meaningful context.

It is not my job to solve conflict for children, but to serve as a guide and model so they can find the way to kindness themselves. I encourage children to look one another in the eye, understand how their actions impact their friends’ emotions and to use self-control to guide their future reactions.

When they experience that for themselves, they truly learn it. Conflict is a normal part of every-day life. As a teacher, I must give children the tools to handle it, not protect them from it.

For those of us in the Montessori Division, teaching kindness has also meant guiding children toward kindness through literature, lessons and role-play.

As part of the school-wide Character Education initiative, Montessori teachers, parents and administrators have come together this year to provide each teacher with a kindness resource binder that provides literature, lesson plans and web resources that will help support us in our mission toward instilling the social and emotional skills our children need.

I feel grateful for each day I have with children, and each day I feel a growing commitment toward approaching the children in a new way – the way that Maria Montessori saw them – as holding the key to a peaceful and successful future. In order for this future to be realized, we must take their entire being into account. As Maria Montessori said: “If an educational act is to be efficacious, it will be only that one which tends to help toward the complete unfolding of life.” We must not only guide children toward intellectual and academic achievement, but provide them with experiences that help them grow in spirit and character.

Nationally known parenting expert and columnist Julie A. Riess, Ph.D., delivers the keynote address at the fifth annual Early Childhood Education Symposium.

Nationally known parenting expert and columnist, Julie A. Riess, Ph.D. delivered the keynote address, “Mind in The Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills That Every Child Needs” at the jam-packed Early Childhood Education Symposium in October. She offered a bonus talk on parenting strategies over lunch, conducted an impromptu in-service training to teachers and held one-on-one meetings with parents. Here’s a look at the symposium, by the numbers.

700 250 150 100 100 68 24 40 20 14 7 5 3.78 1

Miles traveled to The Summit by the keynote speaker Attendees Number of recommended books and web resources given to attendees Percentage reporting they will return next year and invite a friend Number of best-selling “Mind in The Making”books given to attendees for free Percentage of new parents visiting the campus who attended Number of professionals making presentations Number of teachers attending and receiving Continuing Education Units Number of parent volunteers who attended Number of sessions presented on early childhood education topics Number of essential life skills presented Number of annual symposiums hosted by The Summit to date Average rating of symposium by attendees on a 4 point scale Number of former NBA stars presenting a session

Read More Online: Q&A with Dr. Julie A. Riess, resources, photo gallery and recap. http://tinyurl.com/br9up2d

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