JUNE/JULY 2023
BEYOND THE BIKINI! Summertime Blooms
Kelly Smith
LIFE AFTER STROKE
WWMB
WOMEN ON FIRE AWARDS 2023
REAL ESTATE:
The Illuminating Life of
Supercharge Your Success SALLY BRADSHAW’S BEACH READING
Summer Pasta
YOUR HOSPITAL FOR STROKE IS
WHEN A STROKE HAPPENS,
TIME IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE.
Once a stroke begins, there’s no stopping time. Millions of brain cells die by the minute, speech slurs, muscle control fades and eyesight blurs. How quickly and where you are treated matters. Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare is the only hospital in our region designated as a Joint Commission Comprehensive Stroke Center.
Learn the signs or see if you are at risk — while you have time. TMH.ORG/Stroke
How TMH Saved a Young Mom’s Life After a Stroke Kelly Smith found healing at the region’s only Comprehensive Stroke Center by Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare
Talking is something most of us take for granted, but the ability to speak is something Kelly Smith will forever cherish after it was temporarily taken from her by a stroke. In 2021, Kelly was attending a funeral. Naturally, she was very emotional, but something more was happening. “I felt like there was hot lava being poured over my head,” Kelly said. “When I went to hug the family, I realized I couldn’t speak.” She assumed she was just overcome with grief and tried to calm herself, but nothing worked. It never occurred to the 34-year-old that she was having a stroke. After the service, Kelly got in the car with her mom to visit the graveside, but they never made it. On the way, Kelly started to curl up, twist and groan in the passenger seat. Her mom pulled over and dialed 9-1-1. EMTs arrived and took Kelly to Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare (TMH) — North Florida and South Georgia’s only Comprehensive Stroke Center, the highest designation given to fewer than 1% of hospitals in the country from The Joint Commission to recognize hospitals that can treat the most complex stroke cases. Once Kelly arrived at TMH, she was quickly taken to get a CT scan. She still couldn’t speak and had lost function in her right arm. Kelly did her best to motion and grunt to try to communicate with her care team. “It was like a horrible game of charades,” she said. Kelly was quickly seen by Matthew Lawson, MD, an endovascular neurosurgeon and Stroke Medical Director at TMH, who determined the best care was tissue plasminogen activator, or tPA, a drug used to break up a blood clot and restore blood flow to the brain after a stroke. The treatment worked.
Last year, she went on her honeymoon with her husband, Nathan, in the Caribbean. While there, they went on a difficult 10-mile hike Kelly did not believe she could complete. Even though Kelly still has some weakness in the right side of her body from her stroke, she hiked through mud, crossed rivers and scaled down canyons – all with her husband encouraging her. After eight hours, the couple finished the hike. “It brought us to tears because I defeated something I told myself I couldn’t,” she said. “I was just so grateful to be alive.” Kelly is truly grateful to the TMH team and credits Dr. Lawson with saving her life. “I never want anyone to have to go through what I went through, but if they had to, I would want them to be at TMH,” Kelly said. To read Kelly’s full story, visit TMH.ORG/Kelly. For more information about Tallahassee Memorial’s Comprehensive Stroke Center, visit TMH.ORG/Stroke.
Kelly began to feel better while she recovered in the Vogter Neuro Intensive Care Unit where speech, occupational and physical therapists visited her to help her recover. After five days, Kelly was discharged. Over two years and many therapy sessions later, Kelly still notices improvement in her speech. Photo Credits: Calico & Chrome Creative
CONTENTS
10. LETTER FROM PUBLISHER 12. LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR
CULTURE & CUISINE
14. MORE THAN JUST A BIKINI BODY 16. MIDTOWN READS 17. SUMMER PASTA SALAD RECIPE 18. SUMMERTIME BLOOMS
LIVING LOCAL
20. AROUND TOWN: TINA VIDAL-DUART TWM COVER PARTY, WWMB WOMEN ON FIRE AWARDS 2023
ON THE COVER
24. RADIANT GLOW THE ILLUMINATING LIFE OF KRISTEL AVILUS BY KELLY OTTE
IN REAL ESTATE 33. WWMB WOMEN ON FIRE AWARD RECAP 36. WOMEN ON FIRE WINNERS 40. WOMEN ON FIRE FINALISTS 41. WWMB EVALUATION JUDGES 42. WWMB SPONSORS
32
17
MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
44. OVERCOMING MENTAL EXHAUSTION 47. EMBRACING SELF COMPASSION 48. EMPOWERING WOMEN TO LIVE WELL AND PRACTICE SELF-CARE
14
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS 50. BREAKING THE CYCLE PART 2
TRAVEL
31. EXPLORING LOCAL BEACHES
18
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP
32. STRATEGIES FOR RESILENT WORKERS & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 31. LEGAL WRITES WITH DANA BROOKS 32. STACKED: WOMEN
24
24. ABOUT THE COVER: | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: TANYA EVANS: EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON | DRESS: DILLARD'S GOVERNERS SQUARE
tallahassee woman | 4 | june • july 2023
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WOM A N
MAGAZINE
June - July 2023 • Volume 18 • Issue 4
Publisher | Editor-in-Chief Dr. Michelle Mitcham
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Laci Swann CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith RELATIONSHIP MANAGER Cristina Carter
INTERNS Lydia Beazer
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson
ADVERTISING For advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 739-1720 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.
TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith. The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions. Copyright © 2023 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.
tallahassee woman | 6 | june • july 2023
850.777.7777
Empowering Women
Destin | Tallahassee | Jacksonville
CONTRIBUTORS
KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is DR.JEANNE O'KON a Tallahassee-based WRITER portrait photographer Dr. Jeanne O'Kon is a specializing in families, member of the Tallahas- headshots and boudoir see/Leon County Com- and commercial mission on the Status of photography. She books Women and Girls. She is locally in Tallahasee a psychologist and teach- and is available for es psychology at Flagler travel worldwide. View LACI SWANN College Tallahassee. She Kira's portfolio online at WRITER taught the "Psychology of kiraderryberry.com Laci Swann is a Board Women" course for many Member of the Autism years, and has dedicated Society of Florida, years to work focused on representing the state’s women and girls in our panhandle in fundraising community. and advocacy efforts. Laci is the Principal of Sharp Editorial, an award-winning editorial + small business consulting + branding design.
KELLY OTTE WRITER Kelly is the Founder and Executive Director of The Oasis Center for Women & Girls and has a 40-year history working and volunteering with organizations working on issues important to women and girls. You can reach her at kelly. otte@theoasiscenter.net
THAIS GONZALEZ WRITER Thais Gonzalez is a retired Tallahassee Spanish teacher. LISA DAVIS She taught over WRITER 5,000 students in the Lisa Davis is a wife, community throughout mommy of four, beauty her career. Leading blogger, Freelance students to first place Makeup Artist, and at the annual regional Owner of Image by Modern Language Expo Lisa. She loves sharing competition on multiple her tips and tricks with occasions she is well other women so that they known in her field. can look and feel their absolute best. For more information about Lisa visit imagebylisa.com.
tallahassee woman | 8 | june • july 2023
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PUBLISHER
Recharging for a Spectacular Summer!
Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography
GREETINGS!
The anticipation has been building, and now, the glorious summer season is finally upon us! It's time to revel in the joyous moments, the warm embraces of family, the sun-kissed adventures, and the enchanting memories that will forever dance in our hearts. As someone born in June and hailing from Detroit, I hold a special fondness for this magical time of year. Growing up, my family would escape to Monroe, Michigan, where we would frolic in the refreshing waters of Lake Erie and lose ourselves in the charm of the countryside. Oh, the sweet nostalgia of summertime! In this vibrant issue, we have curated a treasure trove of summer ideas and selfcare tips that will leave you feeling rejuvenated and ready to seize the season. But first, I implore you to dive into the empowering story of our cover woman, the remarkable Kristel Avilus, Executive Director of Pace Center for Girls. Her journey of redefining her goals and soar-
ing towards her dreams is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Prepare to be moved as you delve into the heartfelt and exclusive interview conducted by our talented Guest Editor, Kelly Otte.
an electrifying atmosphere that left us all inspired. Mark your calendars for next May when we gather once again to celebrate the brilliance of Tallahassee's Women on Fire!
t TWM, we are overflowing with gratA itude for the incredible milestones we have achieved and the celebratory moments we have shared. Just recently, we reveled in the April/May Cover Woman party, hosted by Evita Spa in honor of the phenomenal Tina Vidal-Duart, a true embodiment of grace and strength. Furthermore, our 17th-anniversary celebration at Hearth & Soul, co-hosted by the remarkable Susie Busch, a former TWM Cover Woman, will be an absolute delight!
I extend my heartfelt gratitude to all the contributors, team members, and extraordinary women who have poured their hearts into the pages of TWM, sharing their stories to ignite the flames of inspiration within others.
on’t miss the amazing Women Who D Mean Business Women On Fire 2023 Awards photos. When you see them around town, please congratulate these unstoppable winners and finalists who graced us with their radiant spirits. The event was a resounding success, with
tallahassee woman | 10 | june • july 2023
So, my friends, as summer beckons, I wish for you to relish in the warmth of the sun's embrace, creating beautiful memories with your loved ones. Take time for self-care, indulging in those activities that make summer truly special. Let go, unwind, and allow yourself to be replenished. Relax and recharge, for the summer awaits! Dr. Michelle Mitcham
PERSEVERANCE, PASSION, & PURPOSE
EXECUTIVE EDITOR
"Do you want to have a great day today or a bad day?" -Laci Swann of how we choose to go about our day. Will we fill our minds with positive thoughts or will we drown in self-doubt, fear, and negativity? The foothold of the latter is heavy, and I don’t know about you, but life already presents enough obstacles to hold us down, so if I can throw myself a life raft through positive thinking, I’ll do just that. In relation to our cover woman’s story, especially as I reflect on the obstacles that Kristel has overcome, I am completely wowed by her resilience to choose, every day, to have a great day (even during her darkest hours). Kristel chose and continues to choose to light her path with self-love, and the heaviest of the challenges did not stop her from achieving greatness. She is a brilliant cover woman, indeed, and I am beyond inspired by her journey.
L
ike many parents, my kiddos sometimes wake up on the wrong side of the bed. When those days arise, I’ll immediately ask my daughter, “Do you want to have a great day today or a bad day?” The first time I asked my daughter that question, she said, “Mom, why are you asking me that?” “Because you determine the type of day you’ll have,” I answered. “So, will you have a great day or a bad day?” My eight-year-old immediately realized that she held the power to choose the direction of her day simply by adjusting her attitude and mind frame. Whether she fixes her morning ‘tude is another story, but nonetheless, the answer to that question is very telling
Admittedly, after reading her story, I checked myself to get off the complain train and feed myself more positivity. Life is beautiful when you look at it with love, and I hope you choose to have a great day today (and every day).
Laci is the Principal of Sharp Editorial, an award-winning editorial + small business consulting + branding design firm. Since 2016, Sharp Editorial has served thousands of clients, including professional athletes, television stars, Fortune 500 companies, and a range of other professionals. Laci is passionate about ensuring that her table always has room for others, encouraging women to pull up a seat and stay awhile.
tallahassee woman | 12 | june • july 2023
Prepare.
Plan now. Before disaster strikes.
When disaster strikes, it is too late to prepare. Be prepared by making a plan for you and your family by filling a waterproof five-gallon bucket with the essential supplies listed on the right. Keep these essential items in a bucket near an exit door in your home or in your vehicle.
Visit LeonReady.com for more information on disaster readiness
Act.
Recover.
HURRICANE SUPPLY CHECKLIST ☐ Batteries ☐ Hand Crank
☐ Pocket knife ☐ Portable phone
☐ Blanket ☐ Manual can opener ☐ Cash ☐ Change of clothing ☐ Duct tape ☐ Dust masks ☐ First aid kit ☐ Flashlight ☐ Games and toys ☐ Gloves ☐ Hand sanitizer ☐ Keys (home and
☐ Ponchos ☐ Rope/paracord ☐ Soap ☐ Special family
Emergency Radio
car)
☐ Large plastic trash bags
☐ Local map ☐ Medications ☐ Non-perishable food
charger
needs (diapers, feminine hygiene items, etc.)
☐ Tarp ☐ Toilet paper ☐ Toothbrush ☐ Towel ☐ Water ☐ Waterproof
bag with family documents, including driver’s license, insurance information, out-of-area contact, medical information
☐ Permanent marker ☐ Whistle ☐ Pet supplies ☐ Photos of family members and pets
MORE THAN JUST A BIKINI BODY
O CULTURE & CUISINE
nce the temps start rising and those “summed bod” ads start consuming our feeds, it can be tempting to restrict calories or take other drastic measures. This may lead to quick weight loss, but that weight loss is both unsafe for your body and unsustainable for everyday life (stats tell us that weight regain is a staggering 80-95%). If we get off the dieting hamster wheel, we can reframe our version of ‘healthy’ using realistic, sustainable practices that work long-term: lifestyle change and habit formation. The ultimate goals become health and energy, and the added benefit is our physical appearance. Trust me, small adjustments can add up over time. Don’t underestimate their impact! Here are some changes you can make to start experiencing healthy gains this summer and start feeling your best year-round: Preparation: Be proactive with nutrition and exercise by having a plan in place before the week begins. What will be cooked? When will we shop? What time will workouts be? Always carry snacks and food with you, protecting your plan from the unexpected. Leaving these fundamentals up to chance is a recipe for disaster. Perfection no more: Understand that something is better than nothing. Consistent daily walks are more monumental long-term than intense, inconsistent gym visits. Think creatively to get in movement, while the kids are at practice, during a lunch break, or right after dinner. Protein: Instead of focusing on what you can’t have or eliminating entire food groups, focus on getting enough protein, which is more filling, and naturally causes us to eat less fat and carbs. I personally aim for 1 gram+ per lb. of ideal body weight. Progress: When studied, those who lost weight and kept it off found a way to monitor themselves. This could be an accountability partner, a tracking calendar, a gym challenge, or a smart scale. Calorie and macro counting can be a great short-term and eye-opening tool. Perspective: Keeping promises to yourself through habit change builds selfconfidence and helps solidify your identity change—to a healthy person. Remember, weight loss is more sustainable when it’s slow. Accepting that this a long game will take the focus off the scale and a certain timeline. Health isn’t just for the beach, a vacation or special event—it’s for life! Lisa Davis Image Contributor, Owner of Image By Lisa Follow Lisa on Insta @imagebylisa Licensed Aesthetician, Pro Makeup Artist, and Certified Integrative Nutrition Coach
tallahassee woman | 14 | june • july 2023
tallahassee woman | 15 | june • july 2023
By Rebecca Weaver
Beach reads are light, easy, or compulsively readable novels that are perfect to take on vacation AKA books that you just can’t put down. Here are our suggestions for this summer: Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Elizabeth Zott is not your average woman. She's a 1950's chemist, a newly single mom, and the star of a live cooking show! You've definitely seen this book around, and summer is the perfect time to pick it up (especially since it's getting its own show soon)! Happy Place by Emily Henry It's not vacation until somebody spills a secret. It's time for the annual getaway to Maine for this college friend group-- a place where everyone can finally relax with the people who know them best! Or do they? Two college ex-sweethearts must fake it til they make it. Tom Lake by Ann Patchett The best place to tell a story is in the family orchard while picking cherries. Three daughters listen to the life their mother led before them, filled with famous actors, stage romances, and a theater company named Tom Lake. This is a beautiful story of young love, married love, and everything in between. Pre-order this now!
to move on. Unpredictable and power-hungry twists are unavoidable for them though. This is a fast read, filled with love, money, and lots of drama! Can't Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne Daydreaming about bookstores, cafes, and assassins? Yes-- assassins! If it's way too hot outside for you, curl up with this cozy fantasy with cottage-core adventure. If you've ever dreamt of opening your own bookshop with your best friend, this one is for you. It's also one of our book club books! Violeta by Isabel Allende If you haven't read this one yet, now is the time to do so! Reading Violeta is like going through the attic and finding old letters as the sun is about to set. A woman whose life spans a hundred years tells writes a letter to someone she loves above all the others-- and there's been plenty of others. Get lost in her story this summer!
Killing Me by Michelle Gagnon Looking for a bit of a darker summer? This thriller is an absolute dark mess. After ending up at a questionable hotel in Las Vegas, Amber is the latest player in a serial killer's game. She becomes an unlikely heroine with unlikely companions. Vacation gone wrong, to say the least. The Senator's Wife by Liv Constantine Summer scandal alert! D.C. philanthropist Sloane Chase and Senator Whit Montgomery are trying
tallahassee woman | 16 | june • july 2023
Summer
PASTA SALAD
By Thais Gonzalez
T
he magic that I find about pasta salad is the versatility. You can practically add many different ingredients that we always have available for the most part. If you feel like adding meat; ham, pepperoni, shredded chicken it will do. If you feel like adding vegetables; chopped carrots, zucchini, sweet peas, etc will be fine. Take the time to prepare this pasta which is very appropriate for the spring and summer times and be as creative as you would like it.
"Food is not just fuel; it's an experience that can bring joy, comfort, and connection to the people you love." I N G RED I ENT S • 1 pound elbow, tricolor rotini or bow ties pasta. • Salt and pepper. • 3 tbsp. chopped fresh basil. • 3 chopped tomatoes. • 1/2 cup of black olives. • 2 tbsp. lemon juice. • 1 large avocado cut into thin slices and sprinkle with lemon juice. • 8 ounces mini mozzarella cheese balls. • Extra basil to garnish salad.
D RES S I N G • 6 tbsp extra virgin olive oil. • 2 tbsp white wine vinegar. • 1 tsp. sugar. • 1 tsp. classic yellow mustard. • Pinch of salt and pepper. • Whisk ingredients together in a small bowl. Prepare pasta following instructions from the package, Mix the tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, olives, chopped fresh basil and avocado. Arrange on a serving plate. Toss the pasta and add dressing. Garnish with fresh basil. Serve immediately and enjoy!
tallahassee woman | 17 | june • july 2023
By Christine Olive - Tallahassee Nurseries
and we’re not referencing the classic rom com song
Summer Lovin’
D
uring summertime, children are out of school and the sun is shining brightly. The warmer weather is perfect for wearing short sleeve shirts and enjoying outdoor activities. However, it can get hot and shade provided by patios or trees is often preferred. During this season, an ice-cold lemonade is a refreshing drink and the sun provides the opportunity to get a tan. Additionally, the scent of sunscreen reminds us of the vacation season.
Zinnias
Who could ask for anything more? Zinnias are proven performers with beautifully bold blooms that go all season long, adding eye-catching color to potted containers and indoor arrangements alike.
Angelonia garden. You can use them to create beautiful arrangements for your indoor spaces as well. We have compiled a list of favorite plants that are perfect for outdoor containers and can be snipped and used in vases or dishes to bring their vibrant colors and fragrances inside. These summer staples transition seamlessly from outdoor to indoor environments, making them a versatile addition to your gardening collection.
Even though spending time outside may not be as appealing due to the heat, it is still possible to maintain a beautiful landscape. Potted containers are an excellent way to showcase a variety of seasonal plants with minimal effort.
Whether you’re in the market for a set of glazed containers, a fresh assortment of blooms for your pots, or would like a custom container designed just for you by our onsite designers, Tallahassee Nurseries has everything you need to make your summertime blooms a success.
In the summer season, potted plants are an excellent way to add color and fragrance to your
Grab a wine slushy, stroll under the shade canopies of decadesold oaks, and soak in summer!
Blooming spring through fall, Angelonia adds bold, vertical interest in containers with its upright stems of lavender, pink, white and purple hues. In floral arrangements, it does the same!
Lavender
Classic and timeless, you can’t go wrong with having lavender outdoors or in! In containers, it provides a tall, whimsical element; indoors, it provides a beautiful purple hue and wonderful fragrance.
Rosemary
An easy-to-grow, long-lasting herb that adds texture to sunny containers before being picked for use in the kitchen. Rosemary is wonderful added to poultry, steak & fish dishes, and has a lovely, earthy aroma. Photography Josh Olive - Tallahassee Nurseries
tallahassee woman | 18 | june • july 2023
BEAUTIFYING TA L L A H A S S E E FOR 85 YEARS PLANTS | LANDSCAPING GIFTS | TRADITIONS
TICKETS AND SPONSORSHIPS AVAILABLE AT TALWOMAN.COM
tallahassee woman | 19 | june • july 2023
AROUND
TOWN
TWM COVER PARTY FOR TINA VIDAL-DUART
T
he most recent magazine cover party was a night to remember! Tina, our cover woman, celebrated in style at the stunning Eve on Adams Rooftop. The venue was adorned with twinkling fairy lights, and the skyline view was simply breathtaking. The atmosphere was electric, with guests mingling and enjoying the most delicious hors d'oeuvres and an open bar. The music was fantastic and had everyone up and dancing, including the adorable butterfly that fluttered among the revelers. The highlight of the night was undoubtedly Tina herself, who looked absolutely stunning in her dress. She was the epitome of grace and charm, and she lit up the room with her radiant smile. It was a joy to see her surrounded by so many friends and supporters, all celebrating her success. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and it was clear that everyone was having a wonderful time. It was a night to remember!
tallahassee woman | 20 | june • july 2023
T
WWMB WOMEN ON FIRE AWARDS 2023
he power of community is truly
our contributions may seem. These winners
remarkable. We saw it firsthand
have shown us that with hard work and
at the awards ceremony for the
perseverance, anything is possible. They
winners of the WWMB Women on Fire
have proven that we can all make a positive
Awards. The passion and dedication of these
impact in our communities if we just take
individuals was truly inspiring. It's amazing
action. Their incredible work serves as a
to see how much can be accomplished when
reminder that we are all capable of greatness,
people come together and work towards a
and that we should never underestimate the
common goal. Their accomplishments are a
power of our own abilities. Let us all be
testament to the fact that we can all make
inspired by their example and strive to make
a difference, no matter how big or small
a difference in our own communities.
tallahassee woman | 21 | june • july 2023
tallahassee woman | 22 | june • july 2023
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COVER
RADIANT GLOW
KristAel vilus
The Illuminating Life of
BY: KELLY OTTE | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY
F
irst impressions of Kristel Avilus (pronounced Kris-tell) are universal. She has a kind face and a gentle voice. Her eyes are wonderfully expressive and warm. She smiles with her whole face. Her laugh lights up the room. People realize her genuine empathy creates an opportunity to show up as your authentic self. People feel compelled to lean into conversation with her. As you learn more about her, you will understand why she could do anything she sets her mind to and why she has chosen to become the Executive Director of Pace Center for Girls in Leon County. While others congratulate her for landing the position, I’m pulled toward congratulating them for hanging on to her. For those unfamiliar with Pace Center, it is a center that provides girls and young women with opportunities for a better future through education, counseling, training, and advocacy. Pace’s team of counselors and educators provide free, year-round, middle and high school academic services, counseling, life-skills training, career preparation and more, developing individualized approaches based on each girl’s unique strengths, life experiences, and needs. In their Reach Program, therapists and counselors travel to girls to provide services in their home, school, or in the community to offers social, emotional, behavioral health, and support services for girls ages 11-17 and their families. The staff at Pace genuinely believe that all girls, regardless of their background, deserve opportunities to become strong, compassionate, and successful women. When properly supported, all girls have the power to achieve their vision of success, which leads to positive outcomes for themselves, their families, and the community. Kristel is a living, breathing example of Pace’s exceptional service, as she seized their opportunities to grow and blossomed into her wildest dreams. One of the most important things about Kristel is that what tallahassee woman | 24 | june • july 2023
tallahassee woman | 25 | june • july 2023
COVER
Kristel’s story has been highlighted several times since she was named Executive Director of Pace Leon in January. Like other people that interviewed Kristel, I initially concentrated on the significant barriers she overcame – she is an immigrant from Jamaica, raised by a single mother, dyslexic, bullied in middle school, got pregnant at 15, and ended up at Pace Center for Girls and started to turn things around. Those life-changing challenges and obstacles tend to stop people from success, and I recognize the extraordinary distance she has traveled. I urge you to listen to Kristel’s story on Martha Pitts Podcast “Marco Social Work Your Way,” the episode entitled “The Dot Always Connect with Kristel Avilus”. But for Tallahassee Woman Magazine, I want people to know who she is in more ways than the barriers she has overcome. In her own words, “We focus so much on what [I, people, the girls] don’t have, but we really need to focus on what people do have.” With the utmost respect and admiration for Kristel, I humbly want to tell you about the woman I know, the incredible woman who is more than her challenges.
Kristel Avilus is the first Executive Director of any Pace Center in the state who attended Pace. She is a successful entrepreneur, as she and her husband Jodanis (Joey) Avilus opened the first Black-owned transportation company in Tallahassee, which expanded to other locations in Florida and led to them opening other businesses. She is an extraordinary mother to six dynamite children (ages from two to 21). While giving birth, raising children, and running companies, Kristel earned her AA from Tallahassee Community College and her bachelor’s degree and master’s degree in social work from Thomas University. She successfully passed her exams and became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, too. While I was the Executive Director at Pace Leon, Kristel came on as an intern and it didn’t take long for all of us to realize that she was a superstar. She is, first and foremost, a powerhouse social worker who puts the girls front and center in every decision. We offered her a position as the Spirited Girls teacher, and she excelled. While she was in school, we hired her as a Counselor and then promoted her to Social Services Manager, then to Program Director, Acting Executive Director, and, eventually, Executive Director. Watching her is watching love in action. She invests in the girls wholeheartedly. The more challenging the child, the harder Kristel fights for her, not just because she can see her past self in these young ladies but because she sees herself in their future identities. I used to counsel her to stop working so much, to stop running about on the weekends to take on family emergencies of the people from the Center. I used to look the other way because I knew she was breaking rules to help whenever she could. She would look at me with her wide-eyed “who, me?” expression on her face. Recently, I watched her interact with a dozen or so of the tallahassee woman | 26 | june • july 2023
Pace students, and they clearly adore her. Kristel Avilus is her story but she’s more than that. She is hope and love. She has helped thousands of girls and their families. She has the heart of a lioness. She is smart, determined, and authentic. She is very loyal to her family and friends and extremely generous. She is delighted by presents, big and small. She is loving and adventurous. She’s finding out, for the first time, that she belongs in whatever room she wants to be in with whomever she meets. She is deserving of being on the cover of Tallahassee Woman Magazine, and I’m immensely proud to call her my friend. I asked Kristel to share some insight into herself because what better person to speak on the cover woman than the cover woman herself:
What’s important for people to know about you?
“Just by looking at me, you would never know that I didn’t speak my first word until I was three. At six, I was diagnosed with severe dyslexia. It is important for people to know that even if you have a learning disability, it doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. There’s been so much work to help people retrain their brain to adapt. Another thing people should know about me is that I am a mother of six. This is most important job I have next to being a wife.”_
What is your ‘WHY’?
“I have strong empathy for others and want to ease the pain of those who suffer emotionally. I want people who have barriers in front of them to know they can be and do anything they want, and while others do not have to work as hard to achieve success, that does not matter because their path is paved to success, too.”
What are you core values?
“Family first, kindness, loyalty, compas-
PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: TANYA EVANS: EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON | DRESS: DILLARD'S GOVERNERS SQUARE
happened to her and how she overcame are part of the story explaining how she got to this place in her life, but she is so much more than those experiences. If she had allowed herself to buy into the idea that people like her can’t succeed, her life may have turned out completely different. Thank goodness she believed otherwise. Kristel has followed what others term a nontraditional pathway to success. I love that she is unapologetic about her experiences and extraordinarily candid and authentic in a way that provides a brilliant guiding light for others who internalize the judgment of others. As someone who also had a nontraditional trajectory and wasn’t always candid about that, I admire and respect her resilience and optimism.
"I want people who have barriers in front of them to know they can be and do anything" -Kristel Avilus
tallahassee woman | 27 | june • july 2023
COVER sion, and financial security.”
What is your source of strength? “My family and my faith.”
What has been your greatest challenge?
“My greatest challenge was transitioning from one country to another. At 13, I was very naïve and did not understand the culture or where I fit in. Transitioning was exceedingly difficult, and I was bullied so badly that I contemplated suicide. Thankfully, I overcame this with the amazing team at Pace and the support of my family. Although this may seem strange, but being a teenage mom saved me. When I got pregnant at 15, I was told many times that I had failed and my life was over. When I had my beautiful daughter, I was determined to prove everyone wrong, and that determination propelled me to push hard. I would not have completed high school if not for her.“
What’s one of your favorite quotes?
“Resilience is the need to get up just one more time.” Growing up, I often heard ‘this too shall pass,’ and ‘nothing lasts forever.’ When times are tumultuous, I often draw on those sayings, reminding myself that there is a solution to most problems.”
What’s your definition of success?
“Having a work-family balance. Even though balance is hard to achieve, it is possible. Be intentional about working for an organization that recognizes the need for this balance. A healthy you also benefits the employer. Balance is a culture that I'm trying to incorporate into my current role. I also think you can’t define success by someone else’s path. When people face challenges like I did, we tend to look up to people whose careers we admire and think they’re different than us. I want everyone to know that we’re all taking different paths and some of us must travel farther, but that doesn’t mean we cannot reach success.” I have forgot a story Kristel told me about when she first had her daughter. People assumed she was an unfit mother because she was a Black teenager. A social service organization tried to give her a book and teach her how to read to her daughter without knowing anything about her, including the fact that she read to her constantly and had a bookshelf full of books at home. The lesson we can learn, or be reminded of, from Kristel’s journey is to recognize brilliance, potential, and capability in all in people. When we stereotype, we strip someone of their individuality and abilities. Unfortunately, not everyone
tallahassee woman | 28 | june • july 2023
has the resilience to overcome dehumanizing labels. When discouraged, people may turn off hope from the hearts and minds, no longer feeling seen, valued, and supported.
So, what’s the future look like for Kristel Avilus?
Anything she wants it to be. One thing is for certain - the more people that doubt her, the more likely she is to prove them wrong. Right now, she is focused on the girls at Pace and what her team need to be successful. She hit the ground running, has reached out to mentors for guidance, and is working closely with the Board of Directors at Pace Leon to share the life-changing work that happens there. How do I close an interview with a person I could write about all day? Well, I’ll close with my all-time favorite quote from the cover woman herself: “I lead with love. I was looking around for the right person, and it was me. I was the right person all along.” If you know a girl who would benefit from Pace, a family who needs someone to talk to, if you would like a tour of the center, or you are inspired to help, call Kristel at 850-922-6062 or email her at Kristel. avilus@pacecenter.org. Tell her Tallahassee Woman Magazine sent you.
tallahassee woman | 29 | june • july 2023
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Next on the list is Alligator Point, a secluded paradise located about 40 miles southeast of Tallahassee. Known for its unspoiled beauty, this beach is perfect for nature lovers. Pack your snorkeling gear and explore the vibrant underwater world or take a leisurely stroll along the shore to spot wildlife and collect seashells. Remember to bring a picnic basket filled with easy-to-prepare snacks like sandwiches, fruits, and refreshing drinks for a delightful beachside feast.
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First up, we have St. George Island, a true gem located just 75 miles south of Tallahassee. With its pristine white sand beaches and sparkling emerald waters, this barrier island offers a tranquil retreat. Don't forget to bring a beach umbrella, a good book, and some beach games like paddleball or frisbee to enjoy the day under the sun.
Last but not least, Carrabelle Beach awaits you just 60 miles southwest of Tallahassee. This charming coastal town boasts pristine beaches and a laidback atmosphere. Make sure to bring your beach chairs and a cooler filled with your favorite beverages. Engage in beach volleyball matches, build sandcastles, or simply lounge under the warm sun, letting your worries drift away with the gentle waves. Why not?
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t is that hot time of year to make sure and keep your beach bag packed and cooler ready to go! Escape the hustle of commuting to work, meetings, events and volunteering and immerse yourself in the sun-soaked shores near Tallahassee. Just a short drive away, you'll find three of the most popular and day-trip friendly beaches that are perfect for a quick seaside getaway! So, grab your beach essentials, pack your sense of adventure, and get ready to experience a mini staycation that won’t break the bank.
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Regardless of which beach you choose, don't forget to pack sunscreen, sunglasses, and a wide-brimmed hat to protect yourself from the Florida sun. These beaches offer a plethora of activities, so make the most of your day trip by embracing the seaside vibes. So, gather your loved ones and embark on a mini staycation that promises relaxation, fun, and unforgettable memories.
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP
STRATEGIES FOR RESILIENT WORKERS & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
HOW DOES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE INFLUENCE WORKPLACE RESILIENCE? SELF-AWARENESS: Emotional intelligence helps individuals become more self-aware of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This self-awareness can help individuals identify their strengths and weaknesses and develop strategies to cope with stress and adversity. SELF-REGULATION: Emotional intelligence helps individuals develop self-regulation skills, which can help them manage their emotions and behaviors in a productive and positive way. This can help individuals stay focused on their goals and bounce back from setbacks. EMPATHY: Emotional intelligence helps individuals develop empathy, which can help them understand and connect with others. This can help individuals build positive relationships with colleagues and clients and promote a sense of community and support in the workplace. SOCIAL SKILLS: Emotional intelligence helps individuals develop social skills, such as communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution. These skills can help individuals work effectively with others, build strong teams, and navigate workplace challenges. STRESS MANAGEMENT: Emotional intelligence helps individuals develop stress management skills, which can help them cope with workplace stress and adversity. This can help individuals maintain a positive attitude, stay focused on their goals, and bounce back from setbacks.
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STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS & RESILIENCE
1. MINDFULNESS: Emotional intelligence can help individuals develop mindfulness skills, which can help them stay present in the moment and reduce stress and anxiety. 2. POSITIVE THINKING: Emotional intelligence can help individuals develop a positive mindset, which can help them stay optimistic and resilient in the face of challenges. 3. WORK-LIFE BALANCE: Emotional intelligence can help individuals develop work-life balance skills, which can help them maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life. 4. SUPPORT NETWORKS: Emotional intelligence can help individuals develop strong support networks, which can provide a sense of community and support during times of stress and adversity. 5. CONTINUOUS LEARNING: Emotional intelligence can help individuals develop a growth mindset, which can help them stay open to new ideas and opportunities for learning and development. This can help individuals stay adaptable and resilient in the face of change.
tallahassee woman | 32 | june • july 2023
FROM THE DESK OF
Dana Brooks
GIRL, LET’S TALK ABOUT CHANGE…
k DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM
Girl, let’s talk about change… I participate in a few mastermind groups, and I travel frequently for conferences on marketing and managing law firms. Those meetings are targeted to owners and operators, still predominantly men. But as I look across the room at these meetings, I notice more women and people of color. I see bilingual lawyers, lawyers whose faith is at the core of their practice, and innovative lawyers whose ideas are changing the practice of personal injury law. I leave those conferences electrified and excited to implement what I’ve learned. So, that’s what I saw. Now, let me tell you what I heard. I heard from a male lawyer TikTok phenom who explained how he grew his social medial following and converted it into an eight-figure law firm in five years, only spending his time. He said engagement with followers is the key, but he is a practicing lawyer, husband, and father to young children. When he reached over a million followers and simply could not keep up with them, he had a panic attack. It scared him to death. That’s when he knew he had to find the right work/life balance. Juggling personal, professional, family, and volunteer responsibilities is nothing new to women. We’ve been doing that our entire lives. Much of the time, the men who benefited from it didn’t even realize it was happening.
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Things just seemed to happen, and usually their wives, mothers, or sisters who took care of everything. That is changing, though, as the workplace gets younger. Millennials and Generation Z cohorts tend to have a more egalitarian concept of parenting and domestic responsibilities. They treasure and guard their personal time and space. They’ve always known that to get what they want, they have to work together and compromise with their partners. Significantly to me, though, is the priority they assign to time with their families. The TikTok lawyer explained that he eventually learned that not every follower will stay with him or respond to his posts nor would he be able to respond to all of theirs. And that was okay. He would not lose his business, family, or home if he wasn’t immediately accessible to people he didn’t even know. But because of how important his followers were to his livelihood, he was afraid to lose even one. He put on his lawyer hat and started scheduling his TikTok time as if it were a hearing or deposition. In conclusion, the TikTok lawyer's experience highlights the importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations when it comes to social media. It's easy to get caught up in trying to please every follower and respond to every comment, but it's simply not sustainable. By prioritizing his time and scheduling his TikTok usage, he was able to maintain a healthy balance between his online presence and his personal life. It's a lesson that can be applied to anyone looking to build a presence on social media, whether it's for personal or professional reasons.
tallahassee woman | 33 | june • july 2023 special section
| April/May 2023 | WWMB Journal | 33
FROM THE DESK OF
H
ow many of you are like me and counted math class as your least favorite course in school? Thankfully, the math we use in real estate is basic and learned during our elementary school years. There are a few simple formulas for you to know, and once you learn those formulas, you will be able to analyze any property and decide if it makes sense for you to buy. The process is so easy that my 7th grader has learned how to evaluate properties, and you can, too! Let’s apply this simple math to understand the BRRRR method we discussed in the last article. “BRRRR” stands for Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance, Repeat. BRRRR is great for small projects such as a single-family home or duplex. An investor starts off by paying cash for the property rather than financing it through a “fixer upper” bank loan, which allows for more equity withdrawal in less time to invest in other properties. Consider Lisa, a mom who wants to make extra money each month through rental income while building equity to cash out for her daughter’s college expenses in 14 years. Lisa is willing to do an average amount of rehabilitation and pay no more than $100,000. At this time, there are 81 properties for sale that meet Lisa’s purchase amount limit in the Tallahassee metro area!
Carrie Boyd
HERE IS THE MATH:
Purchase Price = $100,000/Rehab Costs =$ 15,000 (painting, appliances, fixtures, and flooring) Total Costs = $115,000 Closing Costs = $0 (Seller Paid) ARV = $150,000 (After Repair Value)/Monthly Rent (Market Rate) = $1,500
Four months after buying, Lisa found a lender who would lend on the rehabbed property for 75% of the ARV, or $112,500 ($150,000 x.75 = $112,500). This means Lisa can take out in cash 75% of the property’s new value.
HERE ARE THE NUMBERS:
$112,500 - $4,000 Closing Costs for Loan = $108,500 Net Capital Recovered = $6,500 Down Payment/ Money Left in the Deal ($115,000 Total Costs $108,500 Net) Monthly Mortgage Payment ($112,500 x 7% over 30 years) = $748 Monthly Tax (1% of the ARV = $150,000 x. 01 = ($1,500/12)) = $125 Monthly Insurance = $45 Property Management Fee (8% of $1500 rent = 0.08 x $1500) = $120 Total Monthly Expenses = $1038 (Total Monthly Profit = ($1500-$1038 = $462) Return on Investment (ROI) = $462 x 12 = $5,544/$6,500 = 85% ROI (not including any other fees for simplicity)
Compare the BRRRR way to the traditional path of rehabbing a property where a fixer upper loan is obtained before the property is renovated. You can do the math on your own by following the steps above and using the same numbers with the addition of a down payment sum of 20% of the purchase
Sisters, Math Matters! Know Your Numbers to Supercharge Your Success!
price, which is typical if you don’t use the BRRRR method and until you develop a larger portfolio. Take a moment and try it! If Lisa purchased the same property for $100k with the same closing and rehab costs, plus a standard 20% down payment included in the total costs (20% of $100k = 20k), you will see that the total costs including the down payment now equal $39k ($20k + $15k + $4k). A loan for $80,000 at a 7% interest rate over 30 years will have a monthly payment of $532. Adding the monthly payment plus the taxes, insurance, and management fees results in $822 per month of total expenses for a gross monthly profit of $678 ($1500 - $822). The final number is a 21% ROI ($678 x 12 = $8,136/$39,000). Again, this is simplified for explanation purposes and does not include other fees such as a homeowner’s association (HOA) fee, etc.
Using the BRRRR model allows you more than 4X your ROI on just this one project! An even better benefit is that your capital works harder for you and allows you to pull more of your funds sooner to invest in more projects faster. The BRRRR model is like a snowball for building your wealth and giving back to your community. It is truly the difference between acquiring one or two properties a year versus dozens, if desired.
kcarrie@networkreiwomen.com tallahassee woman | 34 | june • july 2023
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T
allahassee is not just a city, it's a community. It's a place where people come together to celebrate each other's achievements, support each other through tough times, and build a better future for everyone. At Tallahassee Woman Magazine, we are proud to showcase the remarkable achievements of these women and businesses through our Women on Fire Awards. It's our way of shining a light on the hard work and dedication that goes into building a successful career or business. We believe that by recognizing and celebrating these outstanding individuals, we can inspire others to pursue their own dreams and achieve their goals.
MISTRESS OF CEREMONIES ANGELA GREEN-SHERROD
KEYNOTE SPEAKER, DR. MONIQUE BUTLER MD, MBA
We simply must take a moment to express our deepest gratitude and admiration for our beloved mistress of ceremonies. What an absolute delight it was to have her grace our event with her presence. From the moment she walked in the room her charisma and energy captivated the audience and set the tone for a memorable event Her professionalism, wit, and natural charm kept everyone engaged, making it a truly unforgettable experience. Our keynote speaker went above and beyond to ensure the event was a success, taking the time to understand our audience and tailor her message accordingly. Her insights and personal anecdotes left a lasting impression on everyone in attendance. We feel incredibly fortunate to have had her as part of our event, and we look forward to the opportunity to work with her again in the future. Thank you for making our event truly special!
tallahassee woman | 35 | june • july 2023
winners Joanne Gallagher Joanne's entrepreneurial spirit is truly inspiring. As the CEO, founder, and sole owner of SOAR, she has taken her vision and turned it into a thriving consulting firm with an impressive track record of success. Her commitment to excellence and dedication to her clients is evident in everything she does, and it's no surprise that SOAR has grown over 400% in just 14 months. Joanne is a true leader in her field, and her innovative thinking and strong relationships with key decision makers have undoubtedly contributed to her success.
ENTREPRENEUR AWARD
But what really sets Joanne apart is her warm and approachable demeanor. Despite her impressive achievements, she remains down-to-earth and always willing to lend a helping hand. Her infectious positivity and can-do attitude make her a pleasure to work with, and it's clear that her clients appreciate her genuine care and concern for their success. Joanne truly embodies the spirit of entrepreneurship, and I have no doubt that she will continue to soar to even greater heights.
tallahassee woman | 36 | june • july 2023
Kristel Avilus
Kristel's impressive journey from a Pace student to becoming the executive director of the organization. For 38 years, Pace has been dedicated to providing support and resources to at-risk girls, and Kristel's ascent to her current role is a testament to the program's success. Her unwavering commitment to serving the youth and families in the Tallahassee community and beyond has made her a role model and source of inspiration for all. Kristel's story is one that leaves a warm feeling in one's heart. Her determination, hard work, and dedication to helping others are admirable qualities that have propelled her upward through the ranks. As a model for young girls who have faced challenges, Kristel's story instills a sense of hope and a belief that anything is achievable with the right mindset and support. Her journey is a reminder of the power of perseverance, and we are grateful for her contributions to the Pace organization and the community.
ROCK STAR AWARD Leslie Powell-Boudreaux Leslie Powell-Boudreaux is a true gem in her community. She radiates warmth, kindness, and an unwavering commitment to helping others. Her passion for community involvement and her desire to make a positive impact on society are infectious, and it's hard not to be inspired by her enthusiasm. Leslie's dedication to service is truly remarkable. She has spent her entire career working to improve the lives of those around her, and she does it with a smile on her face and a pep in her step. Her infectious energy and positive attitude are an inspiration to all who know her, and it's impossible not to be drawn to her warm and welcoming personality. Whether she's working with clients, mentoring young attorneys, or volunteering in her community, Leslie is always giving 110%, and it's clear that she truly loves what she does.
SERVICE AWARD tallahassee woman | 37 | june • july 2023
winners Rita Brown Mrs. Rita Brown's commitment to education inspired her to start Brownsville Preparatory Institute, a private preschool that focuses on providing a solid educational foundation for children aged 3-5 years old. What started as a way to assist her own son, who was not being served properly in public school, has grown into a respected institution in the local community. As the founder and principal of the school for the past 17 years, Mrs. Brown has dedicated herself to providing an educational experience that goes beyond what is typically expected of preschools.
TORCHBEARER AWARD
At Brownsville Preparatory Institute, Mrs. Brown believes that every child is capable of learning beyond their age. She emphasizes the importance of early childhood education and provides her teachers with continuous training and support to ensure that each student receives the best possible education. In addition to the normal academic year, Mrs. Brown also offers a summer camp to current students and the wider community, providing a fun and educational experience during the summer months. The school's motto, "Where a 3 year old learns to read," reflects Mrs. Brown's belief that children are capable of achieving great things at a young age. With a focus on excellence and a commitment to providing the best possible education.
tallahassee woman | 38 | june • july 2023
ReShaye Greenlee ReShaye is an accomplished individual who has made significant contributions to her community. A proud graduate of Florida State University, she has spent her career empowering and inspiring others in the world of small business. As a single mom, she understands the challenges that come with balancing work and family, and she is a role model for anyone looking to achieve success in both areas. One of ReShaye's greatest strengths is her ability to motivate her team. She leads by example, always going the extra mile to ensure that her business is successful. Her energy and passion are contagious, and she inspires her team to share her commitment to excellence. In addition to motivating her staff, ReShaye is also a mentor to other small business owners in her community. She encourages them to dream big and to take risks, helping them to identify new opportunities for growth and expansion. Thanks to her efforts, many businesses in the area have been able to achieve success beyond their wildest dreams.
INNOVATOR AWARD Dr. Melinda Jackson James Dr. Malinda Jackson James is an exceptional member of the community who has dedicated her life to education. She is a proud graduate of Florida A&M University, where she earned both her Bachelor's and Doctorate degrees. Later, she furthered her education by earning a Master's degree in Education from Florida State University. Her academic achievements and passion for education have led her to become the Director of the Tallahassee Area Coalition Center of Excellence, also known as the National Achievers Society (NAS). Under Dr. James' leadership, the NAS has become a beacon of hope for hundreds of minority youth in the Tallahassee area. Through her tireless efforts, these Achievers have been given the opportunity to not only succeed academically but also to showcase their talents and skills through events such as brain bowls and state conferences. As a result, many of these Achievers have been able to matriculate from elementary school all the way to graduate and medical schools. Dr. James' work has had a profound impact on the community, and her commitment to education has made her an invaluable asset to the Tallahassee area. tallahassee woman | 39 | june • july 2023
LEGACY AWARD
finalists Christina Lynch
Taylor Ann Drew
Keshia Jenkins
Dr. Tamara Betrand Jones
Carrie Boyd
Kimberly Ladner
Tricia Montgomery
Kim Powell
Blair Wulfekuhl
Dot Trotman Ealy
Kim Williams
Nidia Alvarez-Nguyen
tallahassee woman | 40 | june • july 2023
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to the members of the Tallahassee business community who served on the WWMB Evaluation Team
Keith Bowers Director, OEV
Dana Brooks
Andy Janecek
Kelly Otte
Patricia Griffin
Jeremy Cohen
Carrie Roan
Our heartfelt thanks to this year’s WWMB Awards Evaluation Team, a diverse group of business professionals whose job it was to review and nominations based upon submissions. Equipped with score cards, they carefully ranked the categories for each nominee to derive the final scores that, until today, have been kept confidential. Their work produced an incredible group of finalists that deserve continued recognition and celebration.
Executive Director Oasis Center
Analorena Melendez Anders A & E Wholesale
Fasig | Brooks
Vice President, Business Banker TC Federal Bank
Fasig | Brooks
tallahassee woman | 41 | june • july 2023
Director of Public Relations
Business Development, Target Print
THE SPONSORS
Thank you to the generous contributions of the Tallahassee business community sponsors for partnering with us for this event. We appreciate their support of the 2023 Women Who Mean Business Awards.
Red Flame
Blue Flame
Orange Flame
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Special Thanks
The Tallahassee Woman Magazine team would like to extend our heartfelt thank you to all of the nominators who logged on and nominated women for the Women Who Mean Business Awards. With so many dedicated and accomplished women business leaders in our community, the nominating process requires research and due diligence, combined with passion and persuasive prose. Our community nominated a remarkable group of over 100 women for the Rock Star, Innovator, Torchbearer, Entrepreneur, Service and Legacy Awards. We are grateful to those who took the time to see that these talented and dedicated businesswomen received well-deserved recognition. We know that empowered women empower others, and that each nomination helped to uplfit and inspire us to greater heights. Special Thanks to QZ Design Gallery, Quia Z Atkinson for curating the 2023 luxury WWMB Women on Fire Awards. tallahassee woman | 43 | june • july 2023
MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
A Busy Mom's Guide to Overcoming Mental Exhaustion By Laci Swann
H
ave you ever ignored the signs of mental exhaustion because you were trying to keep all the agenda items (kids, work, school, house) afloat? Well, I am here to tell you that as a busy mom of two children, wife, doctoral student, entrepreneur, editor and intern, I wear way too many hats it seems…..I wanted to share some of my own tips for wellness and resilience. If you are a busy lady or mother like me, you will be able to relate.
fact, we embrace opportunities to share tips, insight, and wisdom, and I hope this wisdom helps you to help yourself. Small steps often feel less overwhelming, and these three steps provide relief in my life during moments of emotional exhaustion.
Good mental health helps us cope with stress, often leads to success in our professional lives, fills our energy cup, and helps us to establish and maintain solid relationships.
1. Recognize your stressors: For this initial step, honesty is key. You must identify the stressors in your life. If you opt to avoid acknowledging your stressors, you cannot treat them, reduce them, or eliminate them.
THREE-STEP PROCESS TO IMPROVE EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION:
But what about poor mental health? Poor mental health looks like excessive fear, extreme negative feelings, debilitating lows, withdrawal from loved ones, and constant tiredness beyond the physical. Oh, the exhaustion that accompanies poor mental health. Heavy sigh. That may look like days in bed, and not the type of days we long for where we happily binge watch a new series with our favorite snacks in hand. That may look like missed deadlines, lack of appetite, fatigue, or nervousness. Are those feelings familiar? They certainly stared me in the face more times than I could count. Thanks to professional resources and continual deep dives into self-exploration, I’ve learned to minimize or eliminate those feelings. At Tallahassee Woman Magazine, we do not gatekeep. In
2. Nurture your health: Feed your mind and body in the healthiest of ways - a healthy meal, a quality night’s sleep, and positive thoughts. After all, to relieve yourself of stress, you must choose a healthy routine as opposed to a destructive path. Your physical health has a direct effect on your emotional health. This is something you can control. Lean into it. 3. Choose a healthy coping mechanism: Each day may require a different means of copying Try deep breaths, moving your body, grounding, time in the sun, talking with a trusted loved one, journaling, or specific moments of mindfulness. Choose one and commit to it. Remain present in this time. Your mind and body will thank you for these moments of relief and, hopefully, a new pattern leading to contentment. Adopting the above practices does not guarantee you won’t experience moments of stress and exhaustion, but they will increase your peace, self-awareness, resilience, and resistance to emotional exhaustion.
tallahassee woman | 44 | june • july 2023
The Eight Five Zero
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tallahassee woman | 46 | june • july 2023
Maya Angelou said, “…but still like dust, I’ll rise.”
By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC-S, NCC, CCMHC
EMPOWERING WOMEN ON THEIR JOURNEY OF GROWTH
EMBRACING SELF COMPASSION
I
n this issue, as always, we celebrate women doing amazing things, such as the determined cover woman, Kristel.
I am inspired by Kristel’s story of rising and reaching for the stars. I wanted to share some thoughts on selfcompassion as I reflect on so many young women who have had challenges or experience disappointments in life. Do not give up and please give yourself some grace. Life gets better. In the whirlwind of life, it's easy for women to become their harshest critic as they reflect on their younger selves. As they say, hindsight is 20/20, right? We scrutinize past decisions, questioning whether we could have done better or made different choices. But here's the truth: We made those decisions with the best information available to us at the time. It's crucial to remember that we are constantly evolving, learning, and growing. Each experience, no matter
us to advocate for what we value and to use our voices. Additionally, Oprah Winfrey, a beacon of inspiration, once said,
"The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future by merely changing their attitude." This powerful statement reinforces the transformative power of self-belief and a positive mindset. WORDS OF WISDOM FOR MY YOUNGER SELF: 1. Embrace your uniqueness: You are one-of-a-kind, and that is your superpower. 2. Embrace failure: Failure is not a reflection of your worth but an opportunity to learn and grow.
how challenging, contributes to our journey of selfdiscovery. As seasoned individuals, we have a unique opportunity to mentor and guide others, especially the youth. We can share our wisdom with our daughters and sons, students, and mentees, providing them with the support and encouragement they need. By imparting the knowledge gained from our life experiences, we empower them to navigate their paths with resilience and confidence, although the journey of life is an individual experience.
"Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg Believing in oneself is a cornerstone of personal growth. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, an iconic figure who left an indelible mark on history, reminds us that change is a gradual process. Each step we take towards self-belief and self-acceptance counts, no matter how small those steps may seem. She taught
3. Prioritize self-care: Nurturing your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential. 4. Surround yourself with positivity: Surrounding yourself with uplifting and supportive individuals can fuel your journey. 5. Embrace the journey: Life is a series of ups and downs; enjoy the process and trust in your resilience. Remember, dear women, you are constantly evolving and blossoming into the incredible individuals you are today. Be kind to yourself, control your self-talk, and celebrate the growth that accompanies each experience. Consider reaching out to a licensed therapist or credentialed life coach to help support your journey. You are not alone.
tallahassee woman | 47 | june • july 2023
Embrace the Sunshine: Empowering Women to Live Well and Practice Self-Care This Summer
A
By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC-S, NCC, CCMHC
s the vibrant colors of summer unfold, it's the perfect time for women to bask in the warmth and embrace self-care. Empowering oneself through wellness practices not only enhances physical and mental well-being but also nurtures a positive outlook on life. Research consistently demonstrates the profound impact of wellness, exercise, fresh air, happiness, and positive thinking on our overall health. This summer, let us prioritize self-care and discover the beauty of finding balance
TOP TEN STRATEGIES FOR SELF-CARE AND BALANCE THIS SUMMER 1. Prioritize daily self-reflection and meditation, and set achievable goals. 2. Nourish your body with wholesome, organic, seasonal foods and fruit. 3. Engage in regular physical activity that suits your preferences. This could be walking, tennis, pickleball, golf, biking, or anything you choose. 4. Dedicate time each day for meditation or mindfulness practices. 5. Create a self-care routine that includes skincare, relaxation, and pampering. 6. Spend quality time with loved ones and foster meaningful connections. This could be an evening, weekend, or family trip. 7. Disconnect from technology regularly to recharge and find inner peace. Turn off your cell phone, earbuds, and laptop, and practice mindfulness and being in the here and now. Be present.
THE POWER OF WELLNESS
EMBRACING NATURE'S GIFT
Studies reveal that adopting wellness practices significantly improves women's quality of life. Whether it's through mindful eating, regular exercise, or embracing natural remedies, focusing on wellness allows us to reconnect with our bodies and restore inner harmony. Prioritizing self-car enables us to recharge, reducing stress levels and promoting overall happiness. It is imperative to develop a self-care plan and dedicate quality time to indulge in your plan.
Stepping outside and immersing in nature has proven to be a powerful self-care tool. Fresh air revitalizes our senses, clears our minds, and strengthens our immune system. Spending time in green spaces or near bodies of water has a calming effect, reduces anxiety, and boosts overall well-being. So, let's venture outdoors, explore new trails, and revel in the healing power of nature. Take off your shoes and practice grounding and get connected to the energy of the Earth.
HARNESSING THE ENERGY OF EXERCISE
THE MAGIC OF HAPPINESS AND POSITIVE THINKING
Physical activity not only strengthens our bodies, but also boosts our mental well-being. Engaging in regular exercise releases endorphins, the "feel-good" hormones that uplift our spirits and promote a positive outlook. Whether a peaceful morning walk, refreshing swim, or an invigorating yoga session, moving your body this summer will empower you to thrive. I love taking long walks in the morning before it gets hot. Brainstorm on one small thing you can do for movement.
Research suggests that cultivating happiness and embracing positive thinking has a profound impact on our overall health. By practicing gratitude, fostering meaningful connections, and engaging in activities that bring us joy, we unlock the door to a fulfilling and balanced life. This summer, surround yourself with positivity, celebrate small victories, and choose happiness as your daily mantra. tallahassee woman | 48 | june • july 2023
8. Explore new hobbies or creative outlets that bring you joy. 9. Take regular breaks, even at work on your lunch break, to enjoy the beauty of nature and soak up the sun. Exhale and feel the sunshine on your face. 10. Practice gratitude and positive affirmations to cultivate happiness and a positive mindset. Journal daily about things for which you are grateful. Consider making a list of three to five things per day and reflect weekly on your lists.
This summer, empower yourself to prioritize self-care and find balance in your life. Through wellness practices, exercise, fresh air, happiness, and positive thinking, we unlock the potential to live well and thrive. By embracing these strategies, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, nurturing our bodies, minds, and spirits. So, seize opportunities this summer to celebrate your uniqueness and embrace the sunshine as you embark on a transformative path toward holistic well-being. You’ve got this, girlfriend!
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
How Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences Can Help Create a Brighter Future
PART 2
By Dr. Jeanne O'Kon
I
n a previous edition of Tallahassee Woman, we introduced the topic of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Childhood trauma has often been measured by the original ACEs scale, a ten-item questionnaire categorizing childhood experiences into three primary groups: abuse, neglect, and household challenges. As the research on ACEs has progressed, more than 25 scales have been developed to assess the effects of trauma.
internalization of the stress, as described in the best-selling book called The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. He explains that the body can’t forget what happened, even though the mind attempts to suppress these events. He emphasizes that the brain-body connection is real, and the overactivity of brain structures as children can keep us trapped in a prolonged state of emotional reactivity throughout the lifespan.
Research shows that the younger a child is when exposed to trauma, the greater the likelihood that toxic stress will affect the child’s brain development. The cumulative effect of family dysfunction and abuse has a significant impact on a child’s long-term physical and mental health. Unfortunately, adverse experiences are very common in American society. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that over half of American children are exposed to crime, violence, and abuse every year.
The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University reports that trauma overloads a child’s developing system. The long-term result can be changes in hormone levels, the immune system, neurological impairment, and epigenetics (gene modification). In adults, there is a greater likelihood of mental illness, obesity, diabetes, viral infections, asthma, heart disease, and cancer. In addition, those exposed to toxic stress show a higher incidence of smoking, binge drinking, IV drug use, and sexual promiscuity (defined as over 50 partners) with higher rates of STDs, and early death.
It is important to expand our knowledge about toxic stress and to acknowledge the additional events affecting children and teens today. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports that it has become increasingly common for trauma to result from bullying, gun violence, accidents, natural disasters, refugee and war experiences, life-threatening illnesses, sex trafficking, and military family stressors (deployment, parental loss, or injury). Given the recent realities of the COVID-19 pandemic, children and adults alike experienced isolation, reduced socialization, illness, and loss of family and friends. Repeated
exposure
to
traumatic
events
results
in
As a society, we need to develop a greater sensitivity and the ability to recognize a child or adult who may be a victim of trauma. Simple human connections--basic kindness, attentiveness, and positive relationships--can aid in the recovery of those affected by toxic stress. A useful model is called SETUP: first, showing Support and Empathy, and emphasizing Truth. Then, express Understanding and Perseverance, letting victims know that things can and do change over time. When children and adults feel safe and cared for and have adequate support systems, they can tap into their strengths and develop the resilience needed to overcome the challenges of their lives.
tallahassee woman | 50 | june • july 2023
Star 98.9 and 96.1 Jamz bring you the 13th Annual “What Women Want”!
Your day to escape from your everyday routine. Explore your own personal style, renew your soul and pamper yourself! It’s the event you love, at the North Florida Fairgrounds!
For Vendor Information Please Contact Dot Ealy at (850) 201 - 3005.
Saturday, June 10th at the North Florida Fairgrounds! Bring your sister, mother, girlfriends, daughter, or work friends to “What Women Want” 2023 tallahassee woman | 51 | june • july 2023
Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography
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