16. Tammy Kim

16.1

Tammy Kim

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

For me, working out has never been a lifestyle. Besides organized sports, I have always worked out for one goal, and one goal only: To lose weight. But then what? When I would reach my goal, I would usually stop. There was no consistency to my fitness routine.

As soon as I had weaned Taylor, I was eager to lose all the weight I had gained during my pregnancy. And it was a lot. I’m talking over 40 pounds! Even the breast-feeding couldn’t get the weight off! And I wanted to see results. The only problem was, the weight wasn’t coming off as fast as I had hoped.

So I went on the boFlex diet, which is really extreme in the sense that it takes minimal effort, but guarantees maximum results. I didn’t mind, since it seemed to work for me before, until I consulted with Eddie. He has his certification as a personal trainer, and when I told him what my diet consisted of, he wasn’t impressed. He was able to convince me that I may get instant results, but there wouldn’t be any long-term benefits. So he started me on a more realistic program that includes working out 3x a week, & a healthy diet. So simple, yet so hard…

So I started the program… and things were good, and fun at first, but, as I had imagined, things started to get grueling and hard. The problem was the consistency and the discipline. It’s not hard to be consistent with something when you see instant results, but it’s hard to keep doing something when you don’t know if it’s making any difference.

And that’s when God made me realize that it’s not the results that matter, but how you get there that counts. And the only thing that counts in this life is our being faithful and acceptable to God.

I now have a healthier view of working out. I no longer see it as a goal, but as a lifestyle. And I hope it serves as a model in my life for being disciplined in having some consistent quiet time with the Lord, and in serving others. As Oswald Chambers says, “It’s easier to be a fanatic than a faithful soul”…or as Sung put it once: “A daily devotion is more important than a dramatic devotion.”

Romans 12:10-12

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up".

Our small group is studying a book on parenting titled Shepherding A Child’s Heart, that is based on Christian principles and the Word, and this is just one of the many lessons I have learned through it...

The day started off fine... we were all headed to the mall to go to Rachel's favorite store, PJ's Pet Shop. However, on the way there, Rich and I got into a fight. Rich didn't seem focused on his driving, and I thought we were close to getting into an accident. Instead of being thankful for not getting into an accident, I got mad at Rich for his "careless driving". Well, Rachel started crying, and then Taylor started crying, I was getting more and more angry, and Rich seemed frustrated...(it was not a scene that reflected our family verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks...")

Needless to say, we did not end up at PJ's... we turned the car around and went back home. In my mind, I thought I was right, and so I was trying to calm them down and appeal to Rachel's sense of reason by trying to make her understand why mommy was so mad at dad. Well, Rachel didn't seem to care about who was right or wrong. The only thing she cared about at that moment, was that I was upset at dad. I kept asking her why she was crying, and she kept saying it was because I was angry at dad...

At home, we had lunch in silence, and went about our day. I even forgot all about the argument until I was putting Rachel to bed that night.

I was pretending to be a character in one of her favorite books; “Miss Nelson Is Missing”, the always courteous and super-nice Miss Nelson. Well, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the book, to sum up, Miss Nelson is unable to control her classroom, so Miss Viola Swamp shows up one day and puts the children to work. Miss Nelson is kind, and Miss Viola Swamp is mean. (They are both the same person... It's just Miss Nelson in disguise).

Anyways, I was talking to her in my kind, Miss Nelson voice, when I asked her about her day. Embarrassingly, she brought up "the fight" and how it made her feel. (Thank goodness I wasn't her REAL teacher!) And since she brought up how I was angry at her dad, I tried explaining to her again, (but this time as Miss Nelson), why her mom would respond like that. With her eyes glazing over, she just turned to me and said "I like you better". Surprised by her answer, I responded in my kind Miss Nelson voice; "Why, Rachel? Don't you know how much your mommy loves you?"

She thought about it for a second, and said, "yeah, but.... you're ALWAYS nice…. Sometimes my mom is nice, and sometimes she's not nice". At that moment, my heart sank. I couldn't believe her response! I was so sad... I tried not to seem surprised by her answer, and eventually got her to confide in me... and I got a glimpse of what she had hidden in her heart.

And then I remembered something that I had learned in my small group... Too often, as parents, we are so busy that we end up talking TO our children and not WITH them. In Deut 6:6-7, God commands that we have to teach them diligently as we go about our day. In other words, it's not in just in telliing them, but in living it as well. It has to be real in my life in order for her to trust and believe what I teach her. Proverbs 20:5 says, "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out." Instead of trying to understand the situation from Rachel's point-of-view, I was only concerned with explaining my point-of-view....

That night, I turned to Rachel as her mom, and asked for her forgiveness. Rachel responded by saying:

16.2

Tammy Kim

"Say sorry to dad"... and "Say sorry to God, too, mom"... and that’s exactly what I did.