Tenerife weekly issue 119 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Editor Marc Craig editor@tenerife-weekly.com Production Colm McCarroll design@tenerife-weekly.com

www.tenerife-weekly.com

The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Owner. Disclaimer

CONTRIBUTORS John Sharples Sir Old Golfer Steve Andrews Barry Pugh Diane McGlone Colin Kirby English Time

The opinion of the owner or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors.

Janet Anscombe

janetanscombe.com

Meryl Kew

(Red Queen Musings)

lagomera1.blogspot Adeje Blog

facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

While we strive to bring you a quality newspaper Tenerife Weekly cannot be held responsible for the print quality of this publication. The responsibility for print quality lies directly with our printers (TF Print, S.A.). Please be aware that by advertising in Tenerife Weekly you are agreeing to this disclaimer.

PUB QUIZ (Page 34)

1: The great bustard. 2: Jockey Lester Piggott 3: The javelin 4: Queen Victoria in 1837 5: The ox 6: The tennis net 7: The Duke of Edinburgh 8: Reindeer 9: Spiderman 10: Harry S. Truman 11: The Admiral Benbow

SUDOKU Easy (Page 24)

info@tenerife-weekly.com

627 686 830

SALES

Issue 119

Miller Rental S.L C.I.F: B 38709366 Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make.

SUDOKU Challenging (Page 24)

Owner & Publisher - Christopher Miller

1. Books 2. They have whistles 3. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re carved 4. They all have combs 5. Trucks 6. Suits 7. They all have arches 8. Pies 9. Salts 10. Moons 11. Sauces 12. They have threads 13. Boats 14. Car races 15. They have roots

QUICK CROSSWORD (Page 56)

COMMONYMS (Page 38)

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD (Page 8)

Solutions to this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s puzzles

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

www.tenerife-weekly.com Editorial

Well, this has been a big week, for me, while last week’s edition was beginning to hit the streets, I was busy moving house, in between singing at the mid – week Carvery and performing at the Decades after show party! It was a little hectic to say the least, but we are all moved in now to our “Casa in the Clouds” and it’s fantastic!! Even my wife who I’m sure won’t disagree, isn’t always a morning person, is up at the crack of dawn to watch the

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014 sun rise over the whole of the south of the island, it’s breathtaking…anyway, enough about my move, it’s been the big Carnaval week here and although I’ve not had a chance to take part in the festivities, thanks to Old Golfer Bill and Gerard Zenou it’s all been caught in hi-definition for you to enjoy!! We’ve got all the usual columnists to enjoy, with the exception of Brian Harrison’s “P” Files, Brian is away this week but will be back with part 2 of his Great Media Swindle, next week. Still if you’ve ever fan-

cied a go at making your own marshmallows, but didn’t know where to start, Pugh’s Pantry tells you how! Linda has lots of herbal answers to keeping those nasty bugs at bay, Mr. talks about being on the piste and John Sharples is going bananas, and me? I probably mention Star Wars somewhere, basically another week at the office!! Enjoy!!

Marc Craig

Tenerife, Natural Beauty Of The Island

by Aleks Medvedevs

e received these via email, I thought I’d let Alek’s work speak for itself(Ed) I am an amateur photographer who has just bought his first SLR photo camera – Canon EOS 600D. I have decided to create this blog in order to share my work with other people who are fond of photography as well. I’m

Dear Marc,

eager to learn and make mistakes in order to improve my work, so please do not forget to share your thoughts about my work and criticize as well. I believe it is the only way to learn. Regards,Aleks Medvedevs. http://lastphotoday.wordpress. com/ view Aleks’ youtube video here: http://youtu.be/PrvUu-ZXdz8 “If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn’t need to lug around a camera.” - Lewis Hine

Did you know there’s a fox in Las Americas?! First I didn’t believe it. I have heard him calling every night for 6 weeks now, but not before I saw the trace (a gone pigeon!) after his activities I realized it really is a fox!. Where he has his foxhole I don’t know, but he’s drifting a lot, one I could hear him at El Dorado, another night in

the vicinity of old Siam Park behind Playa Honda. It’s a bit unusual that a fox manage to survive in an urban area I think, but I’m no expert so I don’t know really. Just thought I wanted to tell you about it! Regards Roland

Reader´s Letter Advertisements and pollution in Las Americas! We have been visiting Las Americas every year since 1998. Mainly because of the good climate and the well organised society with its lovely environment. But by the time, we noticed one thing that is not very nice and that is getting worse every year. All the pamphlets, advertising various excursions on the islands is becoming a litter that is floating/flying everywhere on streets and pavements and in parks. The better part of the brochures origins from Scandinavian countries, and being a Scandinavian it is embarrassing to recognise that some of our fellow ‘travel agencies’ are presenting an environment profile that we do not promote in our home countries! What can be done in order to keep up with the basic idea of marketing without producing litter and still catch the tourist’s

interest for the excursion/travel concept? Here is an alternative solution to the problem: In Los Gigantes, 30 km west of Las Americas, the authorities and/or the advertisers seem to have a different approach to this “challenge”. At several places we noticed that the same and similar pamphlets from advertisers were placed in small racks that were attached to building walls or a fence. One of the occasions we were visiting the nice place, a strong wind blowing without flying litter! Perhaps this is something that the authorities in Las Americas can learn from. Thus - to the advertiser – ”clean up your act” and everyone will be a lot happier and your message will reach your customer more effectively, and without littering! Best holiday wishes from Gerd & Roland (from Norway)

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

NEWS ON THE ROCK

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Cabildo announces international Tenerife walking festival in 2015

To add to the “farmers’ market” in Playa San Juan, Guía de Isora has announced the opening of a new agricultural market in Guía de Isora town itself. The new market will start this coming Friday in Plaza de Garachico, which is on the main road through the town, on the left in front of the sports and cultural centres. The existing Playa San Juan market is held in Church Square on Wednesdays. Both markets will be open between 8am and 1pm, every week. The council says that the markets offer agricultural produce as well as crafts and artisan works, cakes and sweets, and other products from the municipality. Arona Policía local have confirmed a report in today’s Diario de Avisos that they have closed an illegal betting shop in the municipality. The shop took bets on horse races, and during the raid, some 2,000 euros was seized: police say that they think the business moves around 10,000 euros daily. Police say that the owner of the property had ignored repeated warnings because betting activity was a good sideline to his official business, which is a “classic English pub”. Police say that given other irregularities, the amount of fines likely to be imposed will probably mean that the business has to close. Barranco del Infierno to reopen in 3 months. Just a month or so away from opening now, but people still treat it as though it were open already. In Tenerife, when the authorities say something is closed, they mean “officially” closed. In the UK, it appears, we’re used to things being made inaccessible when they’re closed, roped off, made impossible for us to hurt ourselves. It’s a cultural difference that might cost someone dearly because an emergency rescue is currently underway this afternoon to help walkers who have got into difficulties in the barranco. Charges are now made for such rescues if those needing rescue have been reckless, or ignored official warnings and signs. In this instance, at least three official rescue teams were involved. A truck who’s brakes failed during a ferry crossing between Tenerife and Agaete (Gran Canaria) had to be taken off by crane after hanging over the internal boarding ramp for the entire two-hour trip. The ship’s crew managed to secure the truck from falling any further during the voyage and fortunately, there were no injuries, although the next sailing was delayed by 45 minutes. A 71-year-old man is in critical condition in hospital after suffering an accident while cycling near the town of San Miguel. The accident happened shortly before 2pm, when emergency services were called out with reports that the man had fallen and hit his head very badly in the pasaje Viña Vieja, below the agricultural market on the outskirts of the town. Paramedics stabilized the injured man at the scene and then transferred him to Candelaria Hospital, where he remains in serious condition. A new weather front will be arriving over Saturday from the southwest. At the moment, meteorologists say, it’s difficult to know if it will just bring general instability with some light rain, or whether it will develop into something nastier. They are monitoring the new borrasca and will no doubt advise in due course. Some rain on Sunday and Monday, however, does seem likely.

Senderos de Anaga. Photo: Cabildo

EnErIFE WIll BE the European walking capital between 10 and 15 march next year when some 700 hikers arrive for the Tenerife Walking Festival. The festival is being organized by the Cabildo through Turismo de Tenerife, and the walkers will be based in Puerto de la Cruz where they will enjoy some of the most beautiful hiking routes Tenerife can offer. The senderos will be divided into three categories: volcanic, coastal and Jurassic … forested areas of barely imaginable antiquity like Anaga and Teno. Naturally, walkers will also be able to experience other aspects of those areas, like bodegas, agricultural fincas, museums, sky watching, and so on, the whole event dovetailing with the nichemarket trend for tourism generally in the Canaries Tenerife president Carlos Alonso explained that “the festival is an excellent opportunity to show off the qualities of our island as a walking destination that offers so much more than just sun and sand.” Sr Alonso noted that one of the major benefits for Tenerife is that those attending will belong to clubs and federations throughout Europe, and on their return home will enthuse about their vivid experiences, becoming ambassadors for Tenerife to this far wider audience. Under the new brand Tenerife No Limits, the first preparatory meeting for the walking festival took place this week. Besides the Cabildo’s own technicians,

the meeting was attended by the president of the European Walking Association, Lis Nielsen; the coordinator of senderos from the Spanish Walking Federation, Antonio Turmo; and the president of the Federación Canaria de Montañismo, Concepción Frauendorff. These organizations are collaborating in the organization of the festival together with the Ayuntamiento de Puerto de la Cruz, whose tourism councillor, Carmen Padilla, also attended the meeting. Tenerife has a walking route network of some 100 senderos, reaching in total around 1,500 km, and walking is one of the biggest niche markets among the island’s holidaymakers – some 14% of our tourists come here specifically for this purpose. After next year’s festival, no doubt it will be more!

by janetanscombe.com

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

A hISTORY Of SpANISh wINe

ast week I looked at the history of that most Spanish style of cuisine, tapas, but tapas isn’t really tapas without a nice Spanish vino to accompany it.

Wine has a history as rich and colorful as the substance itself, but how did the Spanish first discover the art of wine making? It is unclear precisely where vines were first cultivated in Spain or who brought winemaking techniques to the Iberian peninsula. Various sources believe the first vineyards were cultivated on the southwest coast of Andalusia, which seems to be the most likely theory, particularly given the presence of the Phoenicians there approximately 3,000 years ago. They were a trading culture and founded a port in the southwest, which they called Gadir (now Cádiz). Later they moved inland, founding another city they called Xera (now Jerez), where they planted vines in the surrounding hills. By the early Christian era, Spanish wines were one of the most frequently traded products in the Mediterranean and North AfricThe Romans continued to produce wine on the peninsula, introducing their own particular techniques over time. these wines acquired fruity and floral aromas and flavours, and a much-appreciated smoky taste. The need to supply the vast empire and its legions with wine contributed to building up Hispania’s already notable wine trade. The decline of the Roman Empire and invasion of Hispania by northern barbarian tribes brought wine making in Spain to a temporary halt.although the subsequent arrival of the Visigoths counteracted this influence.

The arrival of the Arabs in the 8th century slowed the development of winemaking as the Koran prohibited the consumption of fermented and alcoholic drinks. Despite this religious prohibition, the cultivation of vineyards continued and even prospered under Moslem rule even if they were reoriented to the production of grapes or non-fermented must. Certain dynasties were liberal in their treatment of the dominated Christians and allowed them to continue cultivating vineyards and making wine, particularly in the monasteries. Today Spain has over 2.9 million acres (over 1.17 million hectares) planted—making it the most widely planted wine producing nation, but it is the third largest producer of wine in the world, the largest being France fol-

lowed by Italy. This is due, in part, to the very low yields and wide spacing of the old vines planted on the dry, infertile soil found in many Spanish wine regions. The country is ninth in worldwide consumptions with Spaniards drinking, on average, 21.6 litres (5.706 US gal) per person a year. The country has an abundance of native grape varieties, with over 400 varieties planted throughout Spain though 80 percent of the country’s wine production is from only 20 grapes—including the reds Tempranillo, Garnacha, and Monastrell; the whites Albariño from Galicia, Palomino, Airen, and Macabeo; and the three cava grapes Parellada, Xarel•lo, and Cariñena. regions If you’re looking to really delve into and learn about the intricacies of the Spanish wine culture, many of the vineyards and bodegas - some of which are hundreds of years old and feature stunning architecture - offer tours and of course generous samplings. The regions of Ribera del Duero, Priorat, and especially La Rioja boast their deliciously hearty red wines. For top-notch white and sparkling wines, Catalonia’s Penedes region is the place to be, while the Galician region of the Rias Baixas has earned quite a reputation for its array of fruity white wines. Sherry One of Spain’s most famous contributions to the international wine scene is its sherry (jerez). In fact, all of the world’s genuine sherry comes from the region surrounding the small Spanish city of Jerez- which lends its name to its wine product. The sherry varieties, ranging from the light and refreshing manzanillas and finos to the darker and stronger olorosos and Pedro Ximénez, are Spanish wines that are popular throughout Spain, especially in Andalusia, and the world. Cava Cava, Spain’s tasty response to France’s champagne, is a sparkling Spanish wine that hails principally from the Spanish wine regions of Catalonia, Aragón, and Navarre. Like with sherry, its international presence once again puts Spain on the wine radar, as it is now the 2nd largest producer of sparkling wines in the world.

Sangría THE sangría recipe simply does not exist. Depending on the region and on personal preferences, you can find many sangría recipe variations: different fruit ratios, with or without added liqueors, with or without car-

bonation, red wine or white wine, etc. The list certainly goes on. However, here’s one sangría recipe that will give you a pitcher of that cool and delicious summer drink you and your friends are craving: Sangría recipe Ingredients 3 liters of red wine ... or substitute the red wine with white wine for sangría blanca (white sangría) 1 liter of lemonade 2 peaches 1 apple 2 oranges 1 lemon 1 chunk of cinnamon Sugar

Instructions Wash all of the fruit and cut it into chunks. Now add the wine. After letting it all soak together so that the wine absorbs the fruity flavors, add the lemonade, sugar, and cinnamon (at this point you can also add other liqueors if you so desire). Mix everything together, cool it, and then serve it even colder with ice cubes and fruit chunks. Sangría Alternatives Tinto de verano An alternative to sangría, especially in the south, is tinto de verano. Literally meaning “red wine of the summer,” it is equally as refreshing as sangría. Your shopping list is much shorter than for a sangría recipe: just one part red wine combined with one part Casera (you can replace Spanish Casera by mixing lemon soda and tonic water). Like with sangría, ice is a must and a lemon slice sitting on the edge of the glass is certainly a nice touch. Calimocho It’s pretty clear that sangría isn’t the only wine-based beverage in Spain! From the Basque word kalimotxo, this third winemixed drink originated during the 1970’s in the Basque Country and has since spread throughout the rest of the country. A favorite of young Spaniards, it’s cheap yet tasty. Much simpler than the sangría recipe, simply combine one part red wine (some swear that the best wine for calimochos is actually the cheap kind from a box!) and one part cola and you’ll have yourself a drink.

By marc Craig

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

ThINgS TO dO IN TeNeRIfe IN MARCh 2014 by Red Queen’s Musings What to Expect The weather continues to improve in March and despite us having glorious weather for almost 365 days of the year when you live here you can recognise the different seasons. March definitely feels like Spring. At this time of the year the average temperature in the south of the island around 22/23°C, with highs of 26°C and dropping to around 15°C at night. In the north of the island temperatures range from around 16/17°C during the day to 11°C at night. march highlights Carnival celebrations began at the end of February and carry on into March. It is not only in Santa Cruz that there are great parties, the southern resorts of Los Gigantes and Los Cristianos both celebrate during the month with loads of street parties, dressing up, parades, dances, concerts and carnival queen elections To 9th March – Santa Cruz Carnival One of the most highly anticipated events of the year This year’s theme is Cartoons so get out that costume of your favourite character. 27th Feb to 8th March Puerto de la Cruz the theme for this carnival will be Wild West and events include the Opening Parade, Burial of the Sardine, Apotheosis of the Gran Coso Carnival. 21st – 31st Los Cristianos hosts one of the warmest, biggest and most colourful carnivals after Santa Cruz . Spread over 11 days there are concerts, workshops and activities galore among which the Carnival Parade takes to the streets of Los Cristianos to the beach and the next day, Sunday, Gran Coso Apoteósico (final event). The theme this year is Viva Africa! And no doubt by the end of March we will all be singing and dancing along as follows Wherever you are on the island check the poster for your nearest carnival and join in the fun. Events around the Island Advanced notice: Although the event does not take place until mid April, you may wish to buy your tickets for the I Love Music Festival which will be taking place in Siam Park. 8th The Childrens Charity ‘Helping Hands’ is holding its annual charity afternoon lunch at the magnificant Bianco’s Restaurant in Las Americas. Tickets are available from Liz on 661 274 281. Click menu to zoom in. To 8th March Festival Internacional de Música de Arona (FIMA) A series of concerts and workshops by local musicians, bands and schools staged in Los Cristianos. 8th in Adeje I Charity Race for Run for Life and Run for Canarias all proceeds will be allocated to the projects two distances to choose from: 12 KM-5 euros +1 KG of Food or 21 KM 8 Euros + 1kg of food. See poster for more information 8th Book Signing by Joe Cawley author of More Ketchup than Salsa and The Final Dollop, at Redhound Bookshop in Los Cristianos from 5pm 8th Eighth Kendo Championships Fans of this ancient oriental martial art are in luck at Complejo Deportivo Paulino Rivero Baute de Ravelo. El Sauzal 13th Classical Music Cycle Michiko Hamaguchi - Santo Domingo Convent la Laguna 14th Carpe Diem Choir Convent of Santo Domingo, La Laguna 14th Baifo’s Rock’ Festival at Doña Chana

Cultural Park, La Orotava. An explosive musical experience https://www.facebook.com/ baifos2014 14th Carlos Sadness concert. The singer will present his latest album entitled ‘Celestial Science’. In Café Quilombo, La Orotava Tickets �5 on the night. 15th Race the Moon in La Laguna departing at 19.30 from The Cathedral. Entries can register at Base Deportes Natalia in La Laguna, La Orotava, Candelaria, San Isidro For more information here 15th Day of the Bike, Central Plaza Campus Guajara, La Laguna Until 15th March 2014 If you want to discover the traditional Tenerife, listen to its music watch its dancing and meet the very best folk groups of the islands visit Arona Folkfest Thursday 20:30 Paseo Marítimo Los Cristianos Friday 20:30 h Playa de las Americas (C.C. Gala) 2nd Saturday of the month 20:30 pm Las Galletas, Parque Paulino Suances Romín 15th II Exhibition Hunting Dogs – Ravelo, El Sauzal. The hunting enthusiasts are in luck, admire the most prestigious breeds – time 14.00 Admission: Free. Register your dog the same day between 10.00 and 13.30. 16th XXIX Cross Popular de San Jose with categories for kids to veterans. Register on day adults 3 euros and children 1 euro includes paella and vino!! 17th from 6.00 p.m. until 9.00 p.m. Old Dogs New Tricks entertain in The Plaza Los Gigantes prior to “The Burning of the Sardine” 20th CYCLE CHAMBER MUSIC. Frequency Quintet + 1 – Convento Santo Domingo, La Laguna 20th – 22nd Old Time Music Hall from The English Speaking Theatrical Association - Casa de la Cultura, Los Realejos 22nd and 23rd Wedding Fair – Costa Adeje Gran Hotel, Las Americas get advice from the experts on all things related to weddings. 27th CYCLE OF GUITAR. Hector Gonzalez – Ateneo de La Laguna 28th ‘First Electronic Music Competition’ is for DJs aged between 16 and 30 years old. At La Casa de la Juventud, La Victoria de Acentejo, starting at 19.00 submit your application before 14:00 pm on March 14 Registration is free telephone 922 313 004 29th III Vertical Trail Los Gigantes – leaving from Los Gigantes marina. Info HERE 30th Media Maraton Acentejo Registration is open to 23 March from Sports Guzman SportLa Laguna, Tenerife Granadilla de Abona Outdoor- Sana-Vive La Matanza de Acentejo For more info Here Meteor showers in the Canaries in 2014 Tenerife has been designated as leader of the “EU Sky Route” project a niche market to create astro-tourism in different parts of Europe that are particularly suited to study of the night sky. Click the links below to learn more about meteor showers in 2014. April 22, 2014 Lyrids May 5, 2014 Eta Aquarids July 29-30, 2014 Delta Aquarids August 10-13, 2014 Perseids October 7, 2014 Draconids October 21, 2014 Orionids November 4-5, 2014 South Taurids November 11-12, 2014 North Taurids November 17-18, 2014 Leonids December 13-14, 2014 Geminids

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Taxi’s Here!!

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014 HERES A PICTURE sent to me by Vivo customer Neil of a slightly over-zealous cabbie!! Would let this man drive you anywhere?? Thanks very much Neil.

Not Fun At The Fair

CeLeBRATe COURAge ANd COMMITMeNT

by Clio O’Flynn

ocal police closed 31 pitches in the Santa Cruz Carnival fairground, after they were found to be trading without permits or licenses.

Police were called to the fairground early in the evening after a woman reported an incident in which her child suffered a minor accident at one of the attractions. When officers arrived they realized that there were 69 attractions and mobile bars open, when only 38 had been authorized to trade, so the offending businesses were forcibly closed Fairground workers objected and the atmosphere became tense, with increased numbers of police being called in. In total, 30 local officers, a Unipol unit and National Police

by newsinthesun.com support was requested. One woman was arrested

for gross disobedience to authority.

plátano de Canarias campaign: “Banana rain”

hE ASSOCIATIOn OF Banana Producer Organisations of the Canary Islands (ASPrOCAn) is launching a promotional campaign at domestic level that will aim to convey the values of effort and proximity, while stressing on the qualities that make Canarian bananas stand out from their competitors. With the idea of sending a “little piece of the Canary Islands” to the peninsular market each day, Plátano de Canarias wants Spanish homes to receive a dose of vitality and energy in the form of a “banana rain”, and it will do so based on aspects such as the fruit’s sweetness, energy, optimism, happiness and flavour. These will not be presented as a mere wish from Canarian banana producers, but sustained on the fruit’s nutritional composition, with aspects such as the high tryptophan contents; a vital amino acid for

the correct functioning of the nervous system, which plays a key role in the activation of the neurotransmitters related to comfort, pleasure and good mood. Other better known properties of Canarian bananas, which make it an ideal fruit for all kinds of diets, are also mentioned, such as the presence of vitamins B and C and folic acid; its high potassium and magnesium content, and its vegetable fibre, which has antioxidant properties and helps prevent degenerative diseases.

n TOmOrrOW, Saturday, march 8th a very special dinner is being held in the Adeje CdTCA, the Costa Adeje Tourism development Centre, to celebrate International Women’s day. during the fabulous three course meal the founder

of the Walk for life, Brigitte Gypen, will be awarded the Abinque Prize, an award given annually by Adeje Council to a woman or women who make a difference to people’s lives. The dinner is always a fantastic evening, and for the second consecutive year men are wel-

Barranco del Inﬁerno to reopen in 3 months JuST A mOnTh or so away from opening now, but people still treat it as though it were open already. In Tenerife, when the authorities say something is closed, they mean “officially” closed. In the UK, it appears, we’re used to things being made inaccessible when they’re closed, roped off, made impossible for us to hurt ourselves. It’s a cultural difference that might cost

come too. Three courses of excellent food, wine, entertainment, great company, a chance to cheer for Brigitte Gypen, meet old friends and new. And the dress code is fairly loose too so no need to rush out and spend zillions on a new dress. For more information and tickets you call the Adeje department of Equality who have tickets on sale (15 euro) 922.756.244. See you there!

by janetanscombe.com someone dearly because an emergency rescue is currently underway this afternoon to help walkers who have got into difficulties in the barranco. Charges are now made for such rescues if those needing rescue have been reckless, or ignored official warnings and signs. In this instance, at least three official rescue teams were involved.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

vivo.11984 ACROSS

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

CRYpTIC CROSSwORd

1. Farce very different when Eve is not in it (3,3) 4. A Mafia boss is a beautiful Greek youth? (6) 9. Dine on your ticker, and long for what you haven’t got (3,4,5,3) 10. Hot pepper sounds cold (6) 11. Convert Icall mostly upright (8) 12. Novel about Gloria in trouble (8)

DOWN 1. Fear about the quill (7) 2. Orbison and Pacino look majestic (5) 3. Get-together regarding workers’ association (7) 5. In encyclopaedia, gramophone has a mechanical plan (7) 6. Night gets mixed up in noon, having no clothes or commitments (7,2) 7. South Africa, America, Austrian capital and part of

Av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De Las Americas Arona ( In Front Of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

14. Get man to become an attraction (6) 15. Harrowing experience or transaction (6) 18. Inside syllabus in essential trade (8) 21. Overindulged spoof Ned adapted (5-3) 22. Salesman to assist getting reimbursed (6) 24. Refuge for dissident or a description of a day in Parliament? (9,6) 25. Years in office is ten, you’re told (6) 26. Take a break in alcove (6)

Germany make a Frankfurter (7) 8. Push learner with digger (6) 13. Type of calendar used by Norman or Botham (9) 16. Blame after-dinner drink for fellow-feeling (7) 17. Some model of tie rack is higher (7) 18. Confusion blamed for uproar (6) 19. Surfers can be heard to emerge from depths (7) 20. Slithering pups are detached from the ring and make mistakes (4-3) 23. Every other peaky Peke is a wage recipient (5)

Answers to the CRYPTIC CROSSWORD are on page 2

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

CARNAVAL CRAZY!!

photo by Gerard Zenou.

t’s that time of the year when everyone dresses in glitter, sequins, feathers and stage make-up, men dress as women, music blares, drinks flow and everyone goes just a little bit crazy for a week..no I’m not talking about Vivo’s staff party, it is of course Carnaval time in Tenerife!!

photo by Gerard Zenou.

Unfortunately I was far too busy singing afternoons for the midweek carvery, singing evenings at the Decades after-show party and of course, putting together this little newspaper to make it up there myself, but fortunately, two fantastic photographers, Sir Old Golfer and Gerard Zenou were on hand with their trusty cameras to capture the essence of the fiestas with photos so vivid, you can almost smell the churros!! Thanks to you both, and to everyone else, enjoy our Carnaval photo gallery!

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

The TRee ThAT pASSeS wATeR gReeNpeACe AgAINST gAg ACT

by newsinthesun.com

by Red Queen’s Musings

hErE IS A TrEE in the forest of El Cedro in the Garajonay national park passing water for you to drink.

year. The area around it has a few wooden picnic tables and benches and is popular with locals and visitors alike. The water it ‘tinkles’ is cool, fresh and safe to drink except during rare prolonged hot spells in the area in some years, but then park rangers will put up a sign warning you of the possibility that it may not be entirely safe to sip. How did the miracle of the water-passing tree come about ? Well, come and see for yourself if you can unravel the puzzling phenomenon…

It is situated just beside the beautifully located chapel of Nuestra Senora de Lourdes which was built due to the initiative of an English lady. It is surrounded by mature trees and stands just above the babbling brook which runs along the floor of the valley all

Fri

Sat

Sun

mon

Tue

Wed

Thur

7 Mar

8 Mar

9 Mar

10 Mar

11 Mar

12 Mar

13th Mar

(Viernes)

(Sábado)

(Domingo)

(Lunes)

(Martes)

(Miércoles)

(Jueves)

Day

Mostly Sunny

Sunny

Occasional Rain

Partly Sunny

Sunny

Partly Sunny

High: 18oC

High: 19oC

High: 20oC

High: 18oC

High: 19oC

High: 21oC

Real Feel: 22oC

Real Feel: 21oC

Real Feel: 20oC

Real Feel: 19oC

Real Feel: 21oC

Real Feel: 22oC

Night

Clear

Patchy Clouds

Mostly Cloudy

Patchy Clouds

Mostly Cloudy

Mainly Clear

Low: 13oC

Low: 15oC

Low: 14oC

Low: 13oC

Real Feel: 11oC

Real Feel: 12oC

Real Feel: 11oC

Real Feel: 9oC

rEEnPEACE PrOTESTErS put symbolic gags on several sculptures in the Canary islands this Saturday in protest against the Spanish Public Safety Act, as part of an initiative that has been repeated in more than twenty Spanish cities.

Greenpeace demands the Government reject this bill and follow the recommendations made by various international organizations defending human rights, asking them to protect the right of assembly and freedom of expression.

The organization said that in a democracy , these fundamental rights mean even civil disobedience is legitimate to promote social and environmental changes and ways to policy reforms. They argue that the Public Safety Act is a “direct and disproportionate” response against different forms of peaceful civil protest taking place due to the current economic crisis. Under the new act activities that Greenpeace often use as forms of protest, such as scaling public buildings, are made illegal. Greenpeace, say the government are trying to instil fear in the public to avoid more protestors taking to the streets.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Accion del Sol News Live Aricco News

ACCIOn dEl SOl WOuld lIKE TO remind you all that as well as registering your dog at your local Ayunimento regardless of breed or size that the following dogs do require an additional “Dangerous Dog Licence” Pit Bull Terrier; Staffordshire Bull Terrier; American Staffordshire Terrier; Rottweiler; Dogo Argentino; Fila Brasileiro; Tosa Inu Akita. What you need to do to get your dangerous dog legalised in Tenerife is a question we are very often asked, it involves a lot of red tape and some rather unusual processes to go through, but it is quite simply the law. Please don´t let complexities put you off because if you truly love your dog, you will want to protect it and safeguard its future as well as doing everything within your power to avoid any sort of tragedy. The information was kindly supplied by Marion of the Accion del Sol dogs´ refuge at Granadilla and Marion would be happy to explain anything you don´t understand if you would like to phone, visit or email. You will see from our list which breeds are classified as potentially dangerous and need a special licence and are subject to strict controls such as needing to be muzzled when being walked (and only one at a time) and only owned by someone over 18 and without a police record. You might think you would never be stopped but the police everywhere are being more vigilant about this problem and do conduct spot checks. You first step is to go to the SAC office at your local town hall and request a form known as Solicitud de Inscripcion en el Censo de Animales Domesticos Y/O Potencialmente Peligrosos. You will need various papers such as your NIE and passport and your dog´s microchipping evidence etc. The document is in Spanish. Next, surprisingly, you have to take yourself to your local centro medico and have a medi-

cal which will determine if you are fit to keep a potentially dangerous dog (eyesight, blood pressure, reactions etc) and why you want one. You will also be asked to take a questionnaire with 60 questions. This is the main cost involved at 53 euros. A visit to the Mapfre building in Santa Cruz is also necessary to obtain a certificate which will eventually be returned to you confirming you have no criminal record. If you do, you will not be allowed to get a licence. You also need to take out dog insurance with a minimum cover of 120,000 euros (on your house insurance or a separate policy) and will need to sign and complete another form from the SAC (Peticion de Antecedentes Penales de Registro Central de Penados y Rebeldes). Eventually, you take all the papers, micro chipping document, inoculation verifications etc back to the SAC and you will receive a preliminary certificate. Subject to all the paperwork being correct, your licence will be issued in a month or so later. As you might guess, this whole process is lengthy and complicated but it is the right way to get your potentially dangerous dog legalised. You should also be aware that if someone else is walking your dog and it attacks a person or another animal, it is still your responsibility, not the minder´s. Your premises should also display a dangerous dog sign and you should always carry your licence and the dog´s paperwork when walking the dog.. You must also take these steps if you want to adopt a dangerous dog breed from a refuge and should not be allowed to take it away until you have the paperwork. It is, we are sure you will agree, quite an eye opener to discover the procedures involved which take around two months. But the law is the law and the only way not to fall foul of it is to bite the bullet and get on with it!

help for Candy

Candy was rescued from Adeje kennels just before Christmas by our friend Regina Queder who runs MADAT - Manos Amigos de los Animales Tenerife. Candy has a congenital heart defect called Ductus Arterioso Persistiente. To you and me that means that when she was born one of the arteries which allows blood to flow from one side of the heart to the other did not close off properly. If Candy does not have an operation then her life could be very hard. She may not survive much longer, and during this time she will become short of breath due to the lack of oxygenated blood flow, which will put extra strain on her heart and body. The operation is open heart surgery, and there will be a need for intensive recuperation and care

In COllABOrATIOn with Hospivet Sur, Las Chafiras we are subsidising sterilisation costs for the fourth time. Female cat 81 euros. Male cat 54 euros Female dogs :- Under 5 kg 108 euros; 5kg – 15 kg 135 euros; 15kg – 25 kg 180 euros; Over 25 kg 225 euros Male dogs :- Under 5 kg 81 euros; 5 kg – 15 kg 99 euros; Over 15 kg 135 euros They open all day from 10am to 8pm, so call for an appointment on 922 736927 and quote “Live Arico” to get these prices. For the month of March only!!!

New eNeRgY effICIeNT BUILdINg RegULATIONS Liquid gas installations are also included in the proposal

hE AdEJE COunCIl for urban planning, José maría Álvarez Acosta, has proposed the modification of the building regulations to introduce a series of energy saving measures as well as the regulation of liquid gas installations. The proposal will be put before a meeting of the council this Friday.

ACCIOn dEl SOlS EduCATIOnAl PrOGrAmmE continues in earnest with more and more schools visiting the refuge, this is excellent news for our animal welfare situation here in Tenerife. We will also soon be announcing a new purpose built classroom sponsored by Aktiontier in one of Granadillas schools where children will learn about animal welfare and environmental issues. Accion Del Sol has a new employee who goes by the name “Hope” , she is not your usual member of staff as she herself was a rescue dog, but she now has the job of boosting moral amongst her friends and generally lending a helping “Paw” where needed. She found her first day very tiring but she managed to have a little siesta with one of her two legged colleagues.

Our opening hours are as follows:Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 14:00 – 17:00; Saturday 13.00 – 16.00 The Refuge will be closed Wednesday, Sunday and on Public Holidays. Please call 922778630 for more information , The refuge is situated at Poligono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are.

too. Our vet Cesar Bertoldi will perform the operation and she will then return to Sharon Edens, her foster Mum, for recuperation. She needs scans and x-rays before the operation too, and as you can imagine all this will cost a significant amount of money! MADAT do not have the funds to cover this, so a fundraiser is being held with the aim of raising the money to save Candy. WHEN? Sunday the 9th March from 2pm WHERE ? Eurobar, Coral Mar Square, Costa de Silencio. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Attend, enjoy, participate, buy a raffle ticket or 2, ENTERTAIN (acts please call Sharon on 671 783117 if you can spare 15 minutes of your time) DONATE raffle prizes, tombola prizes, cash, bbq items – again call Sharon for more information. See you there - lets save a life, NEVER GIVE UP !!

“One of the government’s commitments is to the environment and in this regard we are working on these modifications regarding lighting and ventilation in line with the Kyoto Protocol and the European Parliament directive 2002/91/. These measures should mean a

Lions Club

rona lions Club International las Galletas Costa del Silencio will be holding their second Sunday of the month afternoon of entertainment this Sunday 9th march at dave’s Bar (formerly

reduction in electricity bills”; said the councillor. “The design and construction of buildings have a lot to do with energy consumption which is why all new buildings have to comply with minimum energy efficient measures adapted to the local climate conditions”, detailed Álvarez Acosta. The Adeje councillor also explained that the borough was one of the first in the Canary Islands to use piped gas. “We are looking at an investment in the future, something of huge interest to the tourist and domestic sectors, with a form of gas provision that is a ‘bridge’ to the arrival of natural gas with an expansion plan until 2020. “This form of gas is cheaper, space saving and has zero visual impact. It also means a reduction in the transport of potentially dangerous materials on public roads”, he added.

zippys) , Costa del Silencio ... near Coral mar Square . This will take place between 1pm and 5pm with your host and compere from the Lions club , Derrick . Entertainment will be provided by Gary J , Simon King and Stan Fraser with maybe a few songs from the bars owner Dave G Tracey . Sunday lunch available in the area and at the venue so come early to get good seats . There will be a raffle with numerous prizes and hopefully a fun filled afternoon will be had by all.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Oh whAT A LOVeLY wAR!!

by Colin Kirby

SInG SATIrE and black humour Oh What A lovely War, first performed in1963, shone a musical light on the dark days of World War One. On the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of the so called “war to end all wars” the Swallows drama Group sold out two nights at the los Cristianos cultural centre with a spirited and moving production.

The title and many of the featured popular songs of the time refer to a wildly optimistic and blinkered view of the conflict, encouraged by incompetent generals and out of touch politicians. The cast did a great job of filling the songs with the enthusiasm and belief that existed at the start of the war.

Belgium Put the Kibosh On The Kaiser was typical of the euphoria that greeted early victories and fuelled a belief that God was on the side of the allies. In those pre rolling news days the massive casualties on all sides and the incredible blunders by military leaders only seeped through in letters from the front. The narrator guided us through the escalating carnage, his matter of fact delivery of the ever escalating death toll was a stark contrast to the cheery songs sung by the troops and those left behind. Later in the second act the songs became more bitter, like Hush Here Comes A Whizzbang, and The Bells Of Hell. Even the chirpy faith of the troops gave way to gallows humour like When This Bloody War Is Over, and Fred Karno’s Army.

Icod de los Vinos

Santiago del Teide

Plaza del Cristo, s/n, 38640 Plaza General Franco, s/n, Arona. 38300, La Orotava. Tel: 922 725 100 y 922 725 Tel: 922 324 444 - Fax 922 125 - Fax: 922 725 478 334 512

la Orotava

El Sauzal

Granadilla de Abona

El Tanque

Adeje

C/ Grande 1, 38670, Adeje. Plaza Luis de León Huertas, Tel: 922 756 200 - 922 710 1, 38440, Icod de los Vinos. Tel: 922 869 600 - Fax 922 120 - 922 710 420 869 643

Arona

C/ San Francisco, 14, 38600, Granadilla de Abona Tel: 922 759 953 y 922 759 902 - Fax 922 759 965

Guía de Isora

Puerto de la Cruz

C/ Santo Domingo, s/n, 38400, Puerto de la Cruz. Tel: 922 378 400 - Fax 922 375 253

El rosario

C/ del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38680, Guía de Isora. Tel: 922 850 100 - Fax 922 850 354

Plaza del Ayuntamiento 1, 38290, El Rosario. Tel: 922 297 447 - Fax 922 548 280

Güímar

Ctra. de Los Abrigos 30, 38620, San Miguel de Abona. Tel: 922 700 000 y 922 700 001 - Fax 922 167 168

Plaza del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38500, Güímar. Tel: 922 526 100 y 922 526 101 - Fax 922 526 102

San miguel de Abona

C/ la Placeta 10, 38436, Santiago del Teide. Tel: 922 863 127 y 922 863 150 - Fax 922 863 212 C/ La Constitución 3, 38360, El Sauzal. Tel: 922 570 000 y 922 570 24 - Fax 922 570 973 Avda. Príncipes de España 24, 38435, El Tanque. Tel: 922 136 715 y 922 136 623 - Fax 922 136 766

Tegueste

Plaza de San Marcos 1, 38280, Tegueste. Tel: 922 541 799 y 922 541 851 - Fax 922 540 903

Vilaflor

C/ Doctor Pérez Cáceres 1, 38613, Vilaflor. Tel 922 709 002 - Fax 922 709 151

There were more females than males in the drama group so they had to be versatile and become Tommies. The designers helped on that score with pantomime clown outfits rather than uniforms to underline the contrast between the almost frivolous home view of the war and the horror of life on the western front. With a small stage and no overflow or wings areas it was a testing show but the cast coped well with the constant changes. Experienced director Michael Huntington told me afterwards a bit about the challenge of staging such a multi layered show. “We started out in November, only two of our cast had any previous theatrical background and I had to get permission to perform the show from the copyright holders and get all the lyrics printed out. Learning

the tunes was tough as well, these old songs are not ones you hear on the radio, luckily we had Paul Lowe as our musical director and he has experience of shows in the UK. We practised twice a week but the dress rehearsal with an invited audience was the first time most of our cast had performed in front of people. It’s been good, everyone has pulled together and the cultural centre helped a lot. This was the first show by the Swallows but we are already thinking of putting on something else next year.” The two performances raised 1700 euros for Cancer Research Tenerife. Sadly current world news has again shown that the themes explored in Oh What A Lovely War are as relevant now as they were 100 years ago.

13 EVENTS ON Vampires in Tenerife

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

THE ROCK

PATChWOrK IS PATChWOrK, I imagine, but if you would like to learn the traditional Canarian version, the Arico Women’s Association, together with Arico Ayuntamiento, is offering classes every Tuesday evening between 5 and 8pm for a cost of 15 euros a month. No prior experience is necessary, and those wishing to learn do not need to own a sewing machine. For more information, call 690 71 73 14.

by Red Queen’s Musings.wordpress.com

OST PEOPlE think vampires don’t exist, well that is tosh because I have proof they do and they gorge themselves on human blood and carry out this god awful practice at unsociable hours.

CIndErEllA, ThE muSICAl, COmES TO lOS CrISTIAnOS janetanscombe.com Tempus Producciones is bringing Cinderella, the musical, to Los Cristianos’ Auditorio Infanta Leonor. Two performances will be given on 16 March, one at midday and another at 5.30pm. Tickets, already on sale, cost 10 euros for children under 12, and 12 euros for everyone else, and can be bought from the auditorium box office or the Cultural Centre – but as required by laws governing public performances, 5% will be held back to be sold on the day itself. The show lasts around an hour, and there are details of its production, and a video to give a taste of the performance. For more information, call 010 (922 761 600 if calling from outside Arona municipality). 3rd CrOSS SOlIdArIO – ChArITY run – In GuÍA dE ISOrA The third running of the cross popular solidario will take place on 19 April. This is a charitable run coordinated and sponsored by Guía de Isora Ayuntamiento, the Hotel Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora, Santisora triathlon club, and Fonteide, among others. Proceeds will go to the needy in the municipality. Inscription is open until 14 April, and costs 10 euros plus an optional kilogram of non-perishable food. Children can take part, and the cost for their inscription is that kilo of food. The children’s race starts at 4pm on the 19th, while the adults begin at 6pm. There are different circuits, a 5km “rapid” run mainly on the flat starting at the reception of the hotel to Calle La Plaza and ending at Alcalá plaza. This circuit is also doubled for the 10km run. Children, depending on ages, run set distances from 100m. Prizes donated by the sponsors are 2 nights in the hotel for 2 for the first prize, and 1 night for 2 for the second prize; third prize is a dinner for 2 in Restaurante Pangea. All the information is on the programme there is also a website. WAnT A nIGhT OFF FrOm ThE KIdS? Anyone with children know that as much as you love your kids, they can put an end to any kind of social life! What would you give to learn of a fully qualified and experienced nanny who is great with kids? Kayleigh is relatively new to the island, so book her now to get that social calendar filling up again, before her calendar is full!

I thought my home was secure, it was after all covered in nets and I wouldn´t willingly invite anyone in who I didn’t know. But last night I got what was coming to me for being complacent and I got it good! At midnight I turned off the light and fell asleep only to be woken by what I thought were voices. The window was open, so perhaps it was just the melody of insects and other night creatures singing. Then in a nerve destroying moment it suddenly struck me, the voices emanated from a nightly get-together of repulsive monstrosities. Zing-zing-a-zzzz!” shrieked the relentless voice in the darkness. Bzzzzzzzzzz went the conversation at the side of my bed. I felt a small tickle on my arm and at the speed of light the repugnant creature was injecting my skin. I had been attacked by a mosquito Aaaahhhh! Stung! The horror of that bitter moment! I fought not to scratch the

affected area knowing it would only get worse but it was driving me crazy. By the time I turned on the light it had sucked my blood and caused my skin to itch and I found a bulging swelling on my elbow and hand. I had become a mosquito burrito and they were looking upon me as their meal ticket and having a feast. 1 - D S C 0 3 6 8 4 3-DSC03686 I swore and searched all over the ceiling and walls until I finally spotted in the corner a single female e l e g a n t l y lolling and enjoying her success. She wasn´t satisfied and it wasn´t long before I heard a light buzzing noise move swiftly near my ears, she was waiting for second helpings! It was me against the mosquito and I swear she looked me in the eye as I screamed “You sucked my blood; you will pay with your life.” I tried to splat her by slapping my hands against my body. It must

have looked ridiculous to anyone watching as if I was dancing around the bedroom jumping up and down and hitting myself. I felt powerless but I would not let my enemy escape before I could deliver the fatal blow. Frustrated I slapped my forehead and suddenly realised I had killed the mossie. The way I hear it, only pregnant female mosquitoes drink blood. I was elated, if only all the females could be killed – if there weren’t any females then they would be extinct Finally, exhausted and ready for sleep, I went to the window to close it and outside on my mossie net was a family of mosquitoes standing quietly swing their antennas. Then a voice shrieked, “You killed our bread-winner – we are here for revenge!” I was flabbergasted. I can’t believe those blood sucking scavengers got me to the point I could hear them talking. WARNING: If you see anyone looking like these vampires above – run like hell!!

eMMA tunes up Adeje

hE AdEJE SChOOl of music and dance, or in Spanish la Escuela municipal de música y danza de Adeje, EmmA, is undertaking a series of concerts in different cultural spaces in the borough throughout march under the title Adeje live music. According to councillor Adolfo Alonso Ferrera the initiative “ is designed to liven up the borough, offer the local public a series a concerts and at the same time give them the opportunity to get to know

the quality of the work of the students and professors of the school and of the municipal Band”.

The first concert will be in the Adeje Convent de San Francisco on Friday March 7th at 8.30pm with the youth metal group from EMMA remembering “The Wonder Years”. On the play list are songs from Nowak, Blair, Sweeney, Mike Atory, Tito Puente, Paul Murtha and Mike Lewis. Pedro Vicente Jorge Lemes wields the baton, and the tickets are de 5 euros. The following concert is on Saturday March 22 in the Plaza de Los Olivos. This concert is performed by the Adeje Municipal Band and starts at 8pm, free entrance. The final musical date for March is also in the Convent at 8pm on Saturday March 29th. This brings together students and professors of piano and voice who will perform “The Memory Corner, a delightful selection of melodies by distinguished artistes such as Evangelina Sobredo Galanes, Consuelito Velázquez, Juan Carlos Calderón, Álvaro Carrillo, Camilo Blanes Cortés, Lucio Battisiti, Armando Manzanero, Pablo López, Juan de Dión Filiberto y Gabino Coria Peñalosa, César Portillo de la Luz, Rudy Pérez and José Feliciano. Tickets are 5 euros.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

The ALMONd wALK

By siroldgolfer

hIS YEAr, I was lucky enough to be invited to join “The almond walk” which takes place annually at The Finca ecological Alma de Trevejos which lies some 3000 feet above sea level close to the village of Villaflor, Spain’s highest village.

This year the walk was a week later than usual due to the fact that the week before we had one of the largest snow falls for years in the Canary islands. The weather for the walk, even on this revised date, looked decidedly dodgy but it went ahead anyway and it stayed dry but very cold. One forgets that when you are down at the Costas, in swimsuits, at 23deg that only 40 min away by car up towards the vil-

lage of Villaflor the temperature can drop by almost 20deg. Numbers were down a bit due the date change but there was about 40 adults with children of all ages. Finca ecological Alma de Trevejo is a fabulous place for kids, they can run wild, exploring, learning, playing and generally letting off steam without upsetting anyone. Its spring time here so apart from the stunning almond blossom we also managed to see lots of newborn animals including some lovely kid goats and some tiny baby black pigs. The kids were allowed in about the pens along with the farm manager Antonio, who by the end of the day became Uncle Tony to many of the youngsters as he imparted his vast knowledge about the animals and the flora of the

area. Uncle Tony encouraged all the kids to handle all the animals, smell the flowers and taste the berries and plants that they were able too, I think he enjoyed the walk as much as the kids did. The walk its self took around an hour with plenty of stops along the way. The route took us from the farm steading along past the vast array of animals down to the piggery, where the farm has its own stock heard of black pigs along with some more exotic breeds like the Vietnamese “pot” bellied, a few of which had adorable little piglets, the kids loved seeing them ! Leaving the piggery we headed downhill amongst the vineyards and through the old terraces that in the past were cultivated, probably before the road system was brought to the area. We seen all

the diverse types of stones that are quarried in the area and that built the terraces where the agriculture was carried out. Also and most importantly to any agricultural enterprise how the water system works from underground wells to above ground storage tanks. Turning the corner we reach the Almond trees, like a pink carpet on the lunar landscape, some of these trees date back hundreds of years and the farmers collect the fallen Almonds in the month of September or October and use them for a variety of different uses. The circular route led us back to the farm house where in the “bodega” a roaring log fire was burning brightly, it was a welcome site. Tables were set for lunch, all the produce was produced on the farm. We started with a glass of wine or

orange juice, a nice plate of hot lentejas soup with crusty bread. This was followed by a fresh salad, canarian potatoes, sliced roast pork or roast chicken with “house” mojo sauces.The kids were given their own special table and menu, a nice touch. A great family orientated, as you would imagine being a Spanish Finca, day out. I am sure everyone learned a little something and maybe eat a bit much. A lot of tired kids and happy parents. If you are looking for something a little bit different visit the finca its open most days and you can wander amongst the animals and have a very reasonable priced lunch with a glass of wine. Just follow the road from San Miguel to Villaflor and yoy will see their sign off the main road about 2 miles from the village.

community administration Hestria is a professional company with more than 10 years' experience in conducting the administration of communities which are situated in the south of Tenerife. The staff of the company consists of 4 people, all speaking more than 1 language. Together we speak the following languages: Spanish, English, Dutch, French and German.

We know that transparency is very important. We therefore offer the owners in our communities complete access to the information of their community through our website. On the 24 hour office you can find the announcements of the General Meetings, the minutes, a monthly survey of the income and expenses of the community, see the state of your personal payments of the community fees, internal rules and/or the statutes, insurance policy, etc. In fact, anything you need to know as an owner.

The financial situation of the community has improved significantly since Hestria took over the administration of our complex, with a strong reduction of debtors.

Hestria is a professional company. They always respond immediately to any questions or issues that arise and they look at all viable options, keeping in mind price and quality.

They also publish the community accounts on their website, so nobody has to wonder how the community money is spent.

I would highly recommend Hestria to others!

Robert Hobbs, President Tagoro Park Costa del Silencio

Jim Halliday, President Villas del Duque Fañabe (Adeje)

For more info: www.hestria.es Hestria Administración de Fincas, S.L. Avda. Rafael Puig Llivina, 19 Centro Comercial City Center, local 23 38660 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 795 613 Fax: 922 789 820 E-mail: info@hestria.es

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

By The Seat Of Your Pants…

by Cliodna O’Flynn

Breege O Donoghue, in cream, animating the happy crowd

ECEnTlY I EXPlAInEd to a colleague just how the Irish are planning world domination. It’s not about rallies on the street, or stealthy assassinations of world leaders, coups or invasions.

It’s about pants. Really and truly. The Irish are not really concerned about who is sitting on the throne or seat of power, because the seat of their pants already probably belongs to Ireland, or the Irish, or at least the underwear was bought in a shop with Irish roots. And if the world is wearing

your underpants you’re halfway to global dominations. OK, maybe not. But if the people behind the opening of yesterday’s first Tenerife Primark shop get to run the next coup it will be fun and games all the way and a roaring success with the local public. And I bet loads of you didn’t’ know Primark was Irish. We like to just make ourselves comfortable without too much of a fuss. World domination is just an aside. Santa Cruz mayor José Manuel Bermúdez said he had never ever been to an inauguration like it – and he even repeated it in a whisper to an aide after the official

Waiting to shop

speeches, so we know he really meant it. Some of the credit, lots of it, goes to the people who run the huge and expanding chain of shops – now 39 in Spain, 269 worldwide, with over 50,000 employees. But yesterday the star of the show was Breege O’Donoghue. Breege has been working with Penneys/Primark for over thirty years, and still operates out of the Dublin headquarters. And rather than being a spring chicken she’s more of a mother hen, heralding all of her Primark chicks around, making sure old hands meet new, that all of the new team were well versed in the Primark philosophy,

showing off her own perfectly appropriate three piece Primark trouser suit –“only �39”, dancing to the Carnaval sounds with vigour and energy that most of us could only envy, and then hopping up on stage to make the word-perfect opening address in Spanish, much to the delight of the hundreds attending the inauguration inside the shop as well as the Mayor who was infected by her enthusiasms and the delight of the crowds inside and outside that at last we have Primark in Tenerife. Of course we’re never happy. English Time, almost by unspoken agreement with colleagues from

other English language publications, we’re already laying down the ground work for Primark II in Tenerife, in the South if you please. We corralled whatever member of management we could find and gently bombarded them with 1,000+ reasons why the next shop has to be here in the South. Hopefully we got through. Certainly they were amazed to hear about the bus loads of shoppers who are booked to make the trip. Either way, we have our first Primark, and so the Irish campaign to rule the world through its underwear continues…

DOG TRAINING COURSE ENTERS PRACTICAL PHASE The course is part of the Adeje: Clean and Healthy campaign

Inauguration of first Primark shop in Tenerife

Carnaval revellers who won a voucher at the opening

hE AdEJE Youth Centre is currently running the first dog training course offered by the council, and it lasts until may 8th. The course leader is professional trainer Juan Carlos Gaspar Abreu. The initiative comes under the boroughwide Adeje Clean and healthy campaign and is now entering the practical phase where participants, human

and canine, will begin to demonstrate what they have learnt in the workshops. According to the councillor with responsibility for the campaign, Esther Rivero Vargas, “the main objective is that citizens take the care and education of their pets seriously. At the practical classes we will now see how the lessons learnt during the theoretical phase can be put into practise in the areas of behaviour and obedience”. This practical part of the course will concentrate on the civil training – in other words

how the dog behaves in public, how it walks, does it listen to the owner, wait when told to, etc.. At the same time participants will be shown the right way to address the behavioural problems of each dog and how to react as owners. The trainer has carried out an assessment of each dog and owner to get to this part of the course and will give individual tips on correcting any particular problems. Students will also receive lessons in sport training adapted for each dog and owner as well as different habits and behavioural patterns of dogs.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

PREHISTORIC CAVE REOPENS TO LUCKY FEW

PAIn’S AlTAmIrA cave paintings reopened to a lucky handful of visitors lsat Thursday. With its 14,000-yearold red bison, the famous caves gave them a glimpse of some of the world’s most spectacular prehistoric art. Renowned for vivid paintings of beasts and animal-headed humans, the highlight of the cave is a set of 14,000-year-old paintings of red and yellow bison plus horses, deer, humans with the heads of animals and mysterious symbols. Experts say the cave was inhabited approximately 35,000 to 13,000 years ago. The Altamira cave closed in 2002 because scientists said the breath from crowds of

visitors was damaging the prehistoric paint, last week it reopened for five members of the public, chosen by lot from visitors to a nearby museum that houses replicas of the paintings at Santillana del Mar, in the Cantabria region. The five crept in wearing white masks and overalls and closed the door behind them as they headed underground to see the aeonold masterpieces, on a visit lasting just 37 minutes. One of the five, law student Carolina Pardo said: “There is a much stronger feel to the original cave compared to the replicas, although the paintings are very similar.” Another of the visitors, Andrea Vicente, said she was “very moved” by the experience.

“It gives you goose bumps,” she said. Experts arranged the tour as an experiment to assess the impact on the paintings from readmitting the public after 12 years of studies. The culture ministry said scientists would monitor the temperature of the air and rocks, humidity, carbon dioxide and any risk of contamination by micro-organisms during the visit. UNESCO listed the paintings as a World Heritage Site in 1985, as “masterpieces of creative genius and as humanity’s earliest accomplished art, exceptional testimonies to a cultural tradition and... outstanding illustrations of a significant stage in human history,” UNESCO says in its listing. The cave, whose walls are covered with

colorful paintings over more than 270 metres was discovered in 1868 in northern Spain. It has been dubbed the “Sistine chapel of Paleolithic art.” In January, the foundation which manages the cave said it could reopen but only to groups of five people a week, and for just minutes at a time. Overall 192 visitors will be allowed in by August, when experts will reassess the impact of the visits on the paintings. Junior culture minister Josa Maria Lassalle said: “The aim is to analyse the impact of human presence on the conservation of the cave... to determine if continued access to the cave is possible or not.”

www.tenerife-weekly.com

MAINLAND NEWS IN BRIEF Spain has banned its border guards from firing rubber bullets to stop migrants crossing the fence into its North African territories. At least 14 migrants drowned in Moroccan waters on February 6 while trying to swim to the Spanish territory of Ceuta, raising an outcry at the civil guards who police Spain’s side of the border. The Spanish interior ministry said civil guards fired rubber bullets, but denied this action contributed to the drownings. An interior ministry spokesman said: “The Civil Guard has prohibited its agents from using rubber bullets to ward off attempts by immigrants to cross the borders of Ceuta and Melilla.” It was the latest in a series of mass attempts by African migrants to cross the triple barbedwire border fence in the hope of reaching Europe. SPAIn and Italy are the top two European countries for finding a bargain when buying a second-hand car. At present, the average price for a used car – bearing in mind the vast difference between a 12-year-old Ford Fiesta and a one-year-old Mercedes or BMW – is 12,600 euros. Whilst the old adage claims that the second one drives a brand-new car off the forecourt, it has already lost thousands, in Spain and Italy the price of a nearly-new car is very close to that of a straight-from-the-factory model. Currently, the most expensive second-hand cars are found on Spain’s islands – the Balearics and the Canaries – possibly due to the extra cost of shipping from the mainland, whilst the central Spanish regions of Extremadura and Castilla-La Mancha have the cheapest used vehicles. The average prices on the islands and in central Spain are 14,000 and 10,000 euros respectively. Prices went up the most in the last year in the Balearics, followed by Valencia, Andalucía and Castilla y León, with Extremadura, the Basque Country and Madrid in the middle. The greatest price falls were seen in the Canaries, Castilla-La Mancha, Navarra, Murcia and Asturias. Spain has suggested that Morocco legalize immediate deportations on the borders of Ceuta and Melilla, as part of a plan to control immigration in these autonomous cities. The proposal was made in France by the Minister of Interior, Jorge Fernandez to his Moroccan counterpart Mohamed Hassad, in reference to the drama recorded last February 6th in Ceuta, where 15 migrants died. The immediate deportation last February 6th of 23 immigrants that arrived at the coastline of Ceuta, one of two Spanish autonomous cities in Africa on the border with Morocco, brought criticism from the opposition and organizations defending human rights. The death of 15 immigrants and the immediate deportation of another 23 led to demands for the resignation of Minister Fernández by the opposition, as well as a commission of inquiry and delivery of the filmings made on site. Another initiative is to strenghten the project of the International Organization Migration for the voluntary return of irregular migrants from Morocco. A total of 75 British and three Americans have been arrested by Spanish police in an international operation targeting so-called “boiler-rooms,” or networks of businesses with no real commercial activities but responsible for frauds that rake in millions. The arrests succeeded in dismantling 15 of these boiler-rooms, between Barcelona in the northeast and Malaga in the south, which conned people into investing their savings in financial schemes that sounded attractive but were really fakes. The investigations, coordinated by Spanish and London police, have taken two years with the collaboration of the British NCA, the U.S. Secret Service and the police of Tampa, Florida. Added to the 78 arrests in Spain were another 30 in such countries as Britain, Serbia and the United States, the sources said. Telefonica SA (TEF), the Spanish phone company cutting costs to cope with falling revenue, reported fourth-quarter earnings declined 8.7 percent as sales from Spain to Brazil continued to plunge. Telefonica is increasing promotions in Europe as it can no longer rely on growth in Latin America, where sales fell 6.7 percent and earnings dropped 20 percent, partly because of currency fluctuations. While earnings in Europe climbed 11 percent, revenue slid 10 percent to 6.7 billion euros. “Telefonica has managed to slightly improve the business in Europe,” Andres Bolumburu, an analyst at Banco de Sabadell SA in Madrid, said. “However, it still needs to turn around the business in order to achieve further growth.” Telefonica has announced a 1.5 billion-euro cost-saving program and a reorganization that gives Chief Operating Officer Jose Maria Alvarez-Pallete more executive responsibilities by overseeing operations across Europe and Latin America.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

‘Prostitution For Beginners’ Angers Feminists

T A COST OF 45 euros (£37) a person, a fourhour intensive course for aspiring sex workers was held last month by the Asociación de Profesionales del Sexo, a group of eight sex workers who lobby for better rights for those in the industry. The “intro to prostitution” course has angered some of Spain’s most prominent feminists All professionals need some training, explained course organiser Conxa Borrell: “This isn’t an easy profession. There is no other line of work in which you share such intimacy with someone. Media often portrays us as a piece of meat with eyes and three holes. It’s absolutely false.” The group’s efforts to normalise the profession have raised eyebrows before, such as last year’s sold-out “sex for women

as taught by prostitutes” workshop. Four hours was too little time, said Borrell, to cover a list of topics such as dealing with the stigma of prostitution, sex tricks, filing tax returns and marketing. A second day will be held this month because of high demand: “Nobody else can teach these things, not psychologists, anthropologists or political scientists – only prostitutes. We’re at an impasse where people are unemployed, and they still have to pay their mortgages and feed their children. This is a line of work that many women feel they can do.” In 2007, after her husband’s business went under, Borrell heard a news story mention some sex workers in Spain were making �200 a day, and decided to try it out: “I knew absolutely nothing about it, I didn’t know where to take my clients, I had no idea where to meet them. I didn’t know how much to charge them.” Lidia Falcón, founder of the Partido

Feminista de España said: “We want to know if the association holding the course is receiving any public funds. And we want to know if our politicians agree that prostitution should be promoted as an alternative to unemployment.” Prostitution in Spain exists in a sort of legal limbo; while not illegal, it is not regulated in any way. Authorities in Barcelona have introduced fines for clients and sex workers working on the street, and Madrid is planning to do the same. Falcón has spent years fighting to have prostitution made illegal in Spain. “Now the last straw is that a group is giving courses to women to become prostitutes. It’s a false, repugnant discussion about liberty, as if being a prostitute is something you can choose to do because you like it. They say they’re helping women, but they’re just helping them to be exploited and humiliated.”

MOBILe wORLd CONgReSS l

AST WEEK SAW the mobile World Congress wireless show in Barcelona, a four-day conference highlighting what the tech industry has loosely termed “the Internet of things.” Among the technology showcased were Internet-connected toothbrushes from Procter and Gamble’s Oral-B that tell your mirror to remind you to floss and basketball jerseys that can detect impending heart failure and call the ambulance for you. Fitness devices from Sony and Samsung connect with your smartphones to provide digital records of your daily lives. French startup Cityzen Sciences has embedded fabric with heart-rate and other sensors to track your physical activities.

Some of this tech is already available or promised by the end of the year, but there are security and privacy concerns — health insurance companies would love access to your fitness data to set premiums. Some customers might worry about security, given recent breaches compromising credit and debit card numbers, determined hackers seem to constantly find loopholes. Imagine someone spying on you remotely through security cameras in your home or tricking your home security system into believing your car is approaching, so it opens your garage door automatically. AT&T emphasizes that it uses encryption and other safeguards for its connected services, which include security monitoring and energy-efficiency controls in

homes. Internet-connected products represent a growth opportunity for wireless carriers, as the smartphone business slows down in developed markets because most people already have service. Jim Zemlin, executive director of the Linux Foundation said: “Building everything is too much for a single company, yet they want all this stuff to work together.” Jonathan Zittrain, a law professor at Harvard University, said: “Information seems harmless and trivial at the moment, but can be recorded forever . and can be combined with other data, I don’t think we’ve come to terms with that yet.”

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

ITALY’S “LA TOMATINA” dO IT wITh ORANgeS!

Spain Number 2 For Garlic

Old YOur BrEATh! With almost 65.000 tons distributed on international market per year, Spain is the second most important garlic exporter worldwide.

A TOmATInA is of course Spain’s famous tomato-battling festival, but have you ever heard of the “Battle of the Oranges” that takes place in the northern Italian city of Ivrea?

Italy’s largest food fight began on Monday, as the event’s participants dressed in medieval costumes pelted 500 tonnes of oranges at each other to commemorate the 12th century rebellion of the city’s common men against their oppressors.

Participants were split into two groups of nobility and commoners, after which ensued an extremely messy and sticky fight, one from which even the spectators weren’t safe. Rules clearly state that anyone wearing the Phrygian Cap should be exempt from orange attacks, as it ‘ signifies that you are part of the revolutionaries.’ However, it is not uncommon for those with the caps and even spectators to get caught in the middle and cop a few juicy blows, the wasp problems must be horrendous!! A participant named Giulia Baldini said: “It’s a fun event, I would have preferred to be

in the audience - I’m trying to stay out of the way of the oranges but someone’s already got me a few times unfortunately.” Another local named Roberto Accio added: “This is certainly the most important event in Ivrea. It’s definitely more important than Christmas or Easter. It’s very important. There is an energy among the people that you can’t even describe.” The Battle of the Oranges is a three-day festival that ended on Wednesday.

Production datas reveal 140.000 tons as for volumes. An amount that puts Spain in first place among the EU countries that produce garlic, with a 50% quota of the whole Community production. Spanish production has focused mainly in the areas around the Las Pedroñeras and Cuenca towns, in the Castilla-La Mancha communities, as we l l

a s in the towns of Montalban and Santaella in the province of Cordova, places where garlic represents not only the main source of income, but but it is also an integral part of the local culture.

19 Ancient Beasts Roam The wilderness Once More

www.tenerife-weekly.com

n WOOdlAndS near the border of Spain and Portugal, wild horses are roaming free not saddled or shoed. An ancient sight. Centuries old. As farming has declined in Spain, much of the countryside is deserted, and the wild things are coming back: wolves, vultures and rare herbivores, to name a few. As reported in the Tenerife Weekly, dozens of Spanish “Retuerta” horses have been released over the past two years into the 500-hectare (1,235-acre) Campanarios de Azaba Reserve. Carlos Sanchez, director of the conservation group running the site said: “It’s a wonderful horse that has been around since time immemorial. We are re-

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

covering the most primitive breeds to try to help manage an ecosystem which has been abandoned due to the disappearance of humans. We don’t feed them. We just watch them and monitor how they are doing in their groups, which are the dominant horses and which of the mares are pregnant.” In existence there are only about 150 Retuertas, one of the oldest horse breeds in Europe. They were brought from the Donana National Park in southern Spain to create a second breeding site in Campanarios, where they now number about 50, and share the reserve with rare vultures and free-roaming cows, pioneers of what conservationists call “rewilding”, with wolves, vultures and even the endangered Iberian lynx recovering in numbers. Frans Schepers, managing director of Re-

The body of world-renowned flamenco guitarist Paco de Lucia arrived in the Spanish capital for a memorial ceremony before his wake and burial in his native southern town of Algeciras.

People were able to file past the casket for several hours at Madrid’s National Auditorium music centre. Afterward, his body was taken to Algeciras for a public wake overnight and burial. One of the world’s greatest guitarists, de Lucia is credited with modernizing flamenco by introducing influences from other musical forms such as jazz, bossa nova, classical and salsa.

wise all the animals would be wiped out.” Elsewhere, conservationists this month released a herd of wild oxen to graze in a reserve near the northern Spanish city of Burgos, in the coming months they plan to add endangered European bison and other breeds of wild horse to the reserve. Fernando Moran, a bison specialist says: “In the archaeological site lie the bones of the ancestors of todays’ species. These are their evolutionary descendants. It is about nature conservation, but also tourism, development and land management, Spain is in general a fair bit more wild than the rest of Europe. Lots of hectares are being left empty, which for wild animals are obviously perfect.”

Spain’s Crash Landlords

pACO de LUCIA BURIed

E luCIA’S remains were flown in last Friday from mexico where he died of a heart attack while on vacation. he was 66.

wilding Europe, an initiative for development through “wild nature,” says: “For the first time in history, Europe is facing a situation where there is no grazing anymore, there has been a lot of land abandonment in Spain over the past few decades, Spain has shown a very interesting wildlife comeback.” The Campanarios reserve, currently inhabited just by the animals and a handful of staff, aims to draw groups of wildlife spotters and boost the local economy. Jon Teixeira, 27, works in the reserve planting trees, releasing rabbits and leaving dead chickens for vultures to feed on: “I am glad there is a reserve here -- that way we’ll have jobs in the area, where there’s a lot of unemployment and it’s a good job there’s a place where you can’t hunt, other-

n mAdrId you can rent a repossessed home from an unscrupulous squatter – or even ‘buy’ one for 1,000 euro.

A black market for cheap housing in which groups illegally break into, and then let, repossessed properties is thriving among the hundreds of thousands of empty homes across Madrid. Vicente Pérez, from a residents group, the Federación Regional de Asociaciones de Vecinos de Madrid says almost all the cases involving the properties, most of which now belong to Spanish banks, are identical: “Somebody goes and kicks in the door. Once he’s in, the others come – and they sell the place.” Exact figures on how many people are taking part in such arrangements were hard to come by, he said:

“People are scared and they don’t want to talk. A few shameless people are taking advantage of the needs of the most poor to make a business out of it,” While prices vary greatly, it generally costs from 1,000 euros (£830) to 2,000 to “buy” a repossessed property. Those who cannot afford the fee can instead choose to rent for a few hundred euros a month. The price often includes electricity, gas and water, and sometimes even heating. The homes are guaranteed until a judicial process issues an eviction order. That process could take up to two years. The “landlords” of this black market range from people just looking to make some extra money to groups with criminal connections said Pérez:

“Some of them are mafia, I wouldn’t call them the Italian mafia, but they are highly organised groups.” Just 10 years ago Spain was in the throes of a construction boom, with developers building hundreds of thousands of homes a year. The bubble burst in 2007, leaving its relics scattered across the country, including more than 300,000 empty homes in Madrid. Neighbourhood associations in Madrid have urged the owners of these empty properties to take responsibility. “If you own a home that’s sitting empty, what’s stopping you from renting it?” asked Pérez. The latest census data indicate a total of 3.4m houses sitting empty in Spain alongside another nearly half a million properties that were abandoned part way through construction.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Bamboo Towels & Sheets ThEY are brand new to Tenerife; in fact, they are brand new to anywhere! You may not have heard of Bamboo towels or sheets before, but they are here and they are fabulous. Take an opportunity to discover the benefits of having bamboo bath towels. Picture yourself getting out of the bath or shower and wrapping yourself in pure heaven, in possibly the softest bath towel ever. Bamboo towels allow you to dry yourself off quickly due to their premium absorbent properties while also giving you the luxurious feeling of the softest fabric you have ever felt against your body. Imagine sleeping on pure heaven, now you can with the amazing Bamboo sheets that are now also available in a selection of different colours. Experience the ultimate in sleep comfort. Pure cotton can often feel a bit rough to the touch; not only will you find that the towels are exceptionally soft and absorbent, but you will also find that they are durable for everyday use. They are also perfect for people who want to maintain a hygienic environment, because they

are naturally odour resistant due to the fibres fast-drying characteristics. So say goodbye to that disgusting mildew smell you get from other towels from time to time, and bathe in serenity. Bamboo fabric is created from the bamboo pulp and is 100% biodegradable. It is also anti-bacterial and hypoallergenic; bamboo is naturally antibacterial and resists mould, mildew, fungi and dust mites. These properties remain intact, making it suitable for those with eczema, hyper-sensitive skin or hay fever caused by dust mite. Even better news is that bamboo fabric require less frequent washing, it needs no more than a 30Ë&#x161;C wash and dries in half the time of cotton. Tumble dry low and remove from dryer as soon as it stops to avoid unnecessary creasing. The only place that actually stocks these delicious items is Antiquities Tenerife in Las Chafiras. The have stock in three different colours, soft brown, grey and aubergine. Pop in and see them and feel the difference for yourself.

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

OSCARS SpeCIAL

The BILLION dOLLAR SeLfIe ThAT BROKe TwITTeR!

AST SundAY was the star studded affair that is the Oscars, host Ellen degeneres did an amazing job, but the star of the show was the chat show host’s Samsung Galaxy note 3, one of the events biggest sponsors, which made several appearances, including the selfie featuring most of the biggest stars in the universe, a picture which started off as just her and meryl Streep but soon expanded to include Julia roberts, Brad Pitt, Jennifer lawrence and Kevin Spacey in a picture taken by Bradley Cooper. Ellen then

shared the snap on her Twitter page, where it broke the record for most retweets, with 1,076,971 in less than an hour, an achievement which Ellen then proudly announced had ‘broke Twitter’ as the site crashed because of the traffic from her picture!

Host DeGeneres seemed determined to avoid the stuffy label that the awards has and achieved her goal with everyone seemingly impressed with her hosting – with the exception of Liza Minelli, when Ellen joked: ‘The real Captain Philips is here tonight and the real Philomena and one of the most impressive Liza Minnelli impersonators I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Good job sir. That is seriously

OSCAR TIMe wARp Check out These amazing pics of Oscar winners meeting their younger selves! All photo illustrations by linzi Silverman for PEOPlE.com.

impressive.’ Miss Minelli was not impressed! Obviously not phased by Liza’s lack of a sense of humour she had the crowd in fits as she ordered delivery pizza for EVERYONE IN THE ROOM….then got the celebs to chip in when it arrived! ThE OSCArS 2014: BIG WInnErS lIST Best Picture 12 Years A Slave Best Director Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity) Best Animated Feature Frozen Best Visual Effects Gravity (Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, Dave Shirk, Neil Corbould) Best Original Score

Gravity (Steven Price) Best Original Screenplay Her (Spike Jonze) Best Costume Design Catherine Martin, The Great Gatsby Best Actor in a Leading Role Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club) Best Actress in a Leading Role Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine) Best Actor in a Supporting Role Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club) Best Actress in a Supporting Role Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years A Slave) Best Original Song Let It Go (Frozen) Best Adapted Screenplay 12 Years a Slave (John Ridley)

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Cats May hold Obesity Key

CAN YOU ChANge A TRILLION? Man tries to pay Valentine’s day restaurant bill with ‘trillion dollar’ note

OTOrIOuSlY lAzY, the humble house cat may actually be able to help scientists figure out how to c o n trol o besity in humans, but it’s their fur colouring not their lethargy that may hold the key to

ending obesity.

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco are looking to calico cats, known for their orange and black patchwork fur, to better understand “gene silencing”, the ability of a cell to

prevent t h e expression of a certain g e n e . Scientists hope the

research may reveal how traits in humans -- like obesity -- may be turned on and off the same way colour traits are controlled in the fluctuating pattern of a calico’s coat. Lead study author Elizabeth Smith explained in a presentation earlier this month at the annual Biophysical Society Meeting in San Francisco, that calico cats, which are nearly always female, have an orange fur colour gene on one X chromosome and a black fur color gene on the other

X chromosome. In a genetic anomaly, the chromosomes are turned on and off at random, creating the splotchy fur pattern. Unlocking the mystery of the calico’s chromosomes could lead to advances in understanding how human traits are passed on and expressed, ultimately allowing us to exert control over them. Smith said in a press release: “Uncovering how only one X chromosome is inactivated will help explain the whole process of epigenetic

control, meaning the way changes in gene activity can be inherited without changing the DNA code, it can help answer other questions such as if and how traits like obesity can be passed down through generations.” Body fat distribution traits are associated with the X chromosome, according to Discovery News, as are several other disorders and diseases, including intersex conditions, breast cancer and hemophilia.

ichael Williams, from S u m t e r, South Carolina, offered to pay his restaurant bill with the high value currency after his debit card was rejected on February 14th. But unsurprisingly the staff at the Applebee’s

outlet did not think the note was legitimate and promptly rang police. The 53-year-old was arrested at the restaurant but not in relation to the bill. The authorities decided to ignore his alleged claims of being a trillionaire and instead picked him up for a pending contempt of a magistrate’s court charge.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

PLANET ‘MOTHER LODE’ DISCOVERED

recent discovery has doubled the number of planets known to humanity in just one day.

Nasa’s planet-hunting Kepler telescope has discovered more than 700 new worlds outside the solar system which, scientists say could push the number of planets discovered in the galaxy to about 1,700. As recently as 20 years ago, astronomers had not found any planets circling stars other than the ones revolving around the sun. Astronomers used a new technique to come up with the largest single announcement of a batch of exoplanets -

23 gIANT SURfINg CROCOdILe ShUTS dOwN BeACh Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

what planets outside our solar system are called. All the new planets are in systems like ours where multiple planets circle a star. The 715 planets were nearly all similar in size to Earth and four orbit their stars in “habitable zones” where conditions would support liquid water which is crucial for life to exist. Nasa planetary scientist Jack Lissauer said: “We almost doubled just today the number of planets known to humanity,” Nasa scientist Douglas Hudgins called the discovery a major step towards Kepler’s ultimate goal: “finding Earth 2.0”.

S IF Australian creatures aren’t already terrifying enough… now they’re even going out of their typical environment to terrify tourists. A giant four-metre “dominant” male crocodile closed down an

entire beach for a day before moving on, after it surfed in knee-deep water at popular tourist hotspot, Broome’s Cable Beach Local resident Sharon Scoble was amazed by the croc’s formidable size. She said: “He was a big boy - his head was huge, It would be all over red

rover if he got hold of you.” The croc did not show signs of aggression, but Ms Scoble said it was “looking” at people on the beach. “I felt really humbled but you probably would not feel that way if you were out there on a paddle board or having a swim,” she said.

Latest Model Fad Diet: Air And Light

uKrAInIAn nutjo... sorry,, model who considers herself to be a real-life Barbie doll, says she eventually hopes to live without eating or drinking at all and will survive as a “breatharian”.

Valeria Lukyanova, whose dolllike features and ultra-thin waist have stirred controversy in the past, has apparently made it her goal to survive “on air and light alone.” Lukyanova, who believes in reincarnation and claims to have been in contact with transdimensional beings, has said she uses her appearance to promote her “spir-

itual ideas.” Lukyanova said: “In recent weeks I have not been h u n g r y at all, I’m hoping it’s the final stage before I can subsist on air and

light alone.” The New Age practice is known as Breatharianism, in which followers neither neither eat nor drink, believing they can exist solely on “cosmic micro-food.” Last year, a 65-year-old Seattle woman who went 47 days living only on water and tea, cited Breatharian yogis as her inspiration. Naveena Shine’s goal was to maintain the extreme fast for 100 days, but she called it off after receiving what she called “a message from the universe that it is time to stop.” Commenting on Shine’s case, Dr. Ronald Hoffm a n , medical dir e c to r o f

the Hoffman Center and host of a weekly health talk podcast, said that it is “delusional to think that you can escape the laws of biology.” At least one person has starved to death trying to adhere to a Breatharian regimen. I once went a day without eating anything but an Aero and Pepsi Light, does that count?

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

CHALLENGING Puzzle

EASY Puzzle

SUDOKU Every Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically.

Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row, column and 3 x 3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

Answers to the SudOKu are on page 2.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

NOw ThAT’S MAN ChARged fOR A MATURe TAKINg TIgeR TO BAR CheddAR! W

Orld’S OldEST ChEESE Found On 3,800-Year-Old mummies Buried In China The world’s oldest “cheese” may have been discovered on the bodies of mummies buried in China’s Taklamakan Desert. The mummies, which are each about 3,800 years old, were buried with hunks of the dairy treat, presumably a tasty snack for the buried to enjoy in the afterlife, a bit like giving kids Dairylea to take to school, but it’s a longer trip and they’re, you know… dead. In the Journal of Archaeological Science, the authors write: “Despite being extraordinary simple, it possessed the necessary qualities for supporting the economic expansion of ruminant animal herding into Eastern Eurasia.” cheese making dates as far back as the sixth millennium B.C., but samples of the ancient cheese itself have been elusive. Most evidence relied on residual fats found in pottery shards, but many of these traces had degraded o v e r t i m e or received only limited analys i s . This d i s c ove r y m a d e t h e evidence for ancient cheese circumstantial. the newly discovered cheese was unearthed during excavations of the Xiaohe Cemetery, also known as Ordek’s necropolis, between 2002 and 2004. The ancient necropolis was first discovered in a sand dune located by a dried-up riverbed in 1934. It harbors hundreds of mummies buried in large, wooden coffins that resembled upside-down boats, which were then covered with cowhide that sealed the coffins from the air. The dry air and salty soil had left many mummies and their accessories extraordinarily well preserved. A chemical analysis revealed that the ancient dairy product didn’t require an enzyme, known as rennet, which is found in the guts of ruminants and is used to make hard cheeses such as cheddar. Instead, makers likely fermented this cheese using microbes such as Lactobacillus and Saccharomycetaceae yeasts, which are commonly used to make the still-popular fermented dairy beverage known as kefir. The ancient cheese had less salt content than typical brined cheeses, which preserve better. The fermented treat may have provided probiotic benefits to the guts of these ancient people, and may even explain why herding became such a dominant way of life. “The evidence of kefir dairy that occurred already at the Early Bronze Age helps [us] to understand why milking was spreading over Eastern Eurasia despite the lactose intolerance of the local population,” the authors write in the paper.

OundS lIKE the start of a joke, “ a man walks into a bar … with a tiger on a leash”, but no one laughed when John Basile of the Big run Wolf ranch lockport Illinois took a big cat into uncle richie’s bar in lockport, Illinois.

John Basile now faces misdemeanour charges, Mr Basile owns Big Run Wolf Ranch, a run-down animal rescue centre where he keeps wolves, a bear and the tiger. Witnesses say people started screaming “Is that a tiger?” in disbelief after Mr Basile and his feline companion walked in. Terry Lemming, Lockport police chief,

said: “My concern really was for the people that frequent the downtown area. This was at 7.30 at night on a Sunday in an area that has a lot of people walking around.” It is not the first time a big cat has visited the bar - a woman was bitten by a different tiger at the same drinking spot last December!!!

fish counter store in

Hyndburn borough councillor Peter Britcliffe said he was concerned the incident could be linked to the social network craze the neknominate drinking game: “This is a shocking thing to happen and if this is some sort of prank, it is stupid. It would humiliate the person who had been hit, but it is also quite a dangerous thing to do.” The man believed to have filmed the attack is described as being around the same age, 5ft 8in tall, wearing a dark coat and dark grey trousers and boots.

FISH SLAPPED

T’S OnE OF my wife’s fantasies (stop - not that kind of fantasy) to slap somebody... probably me, across the face with a giant fish from the supermarket, but maybe such thoughts should remain fantasies!

Police have launched an appeal after a supermarket worker was left “shaken up and embarrassed” when she was slapped in the face with a fish by a customer. Officers suspect that the attack, which is believed to have been filmed on a mobile phone, may have been carried out as a dare. Police want to speak to a woman in connection with the Asda fish slap. The woman is described as being Irish and aged between 15 and 18 with blonde, shoulder-length untidy hair. She was wearing dark jeans and a blue coat with white cuffs, white the front a n d a red collar with ‘I love PB’ on the left breast pocket. The 52-yearold victim was working behind the

down

at an Asda Ac c r i n g to n when she was approached by a female at around 3pm on February 4th. Lancashire Police say the young woman then picked up a large bream without warning and slapped the worker across the face before running out of the store.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

einstein A go-go

n mArCh 14Th, 1879, Albert Einstein was born, the son of a Jewish electrical engineer in ulm, Germany. Einstein’s theories of special and general relativity drastically altered man’s view of the universe, and his work in particle and energy theory helped make possible quantum mechanics and, ultimately, the atomic bomb.

Einstein studied physics and mathematics at the Federal Polytechnic Academy in Zurich, Switzerland and in 1905 was awarded a Ph.D. from the University of Zurich. That year, which historians of Einstein’s career call the annus mirabilis--the “miracle year”--he published five theoretical papers that were to have a profound effect on the development of modern physics. In “On a Heuristic Viewpoint Concerning the Production and Transformation of Light,” Einstein theorized that light is made up of individual quanta (photons) that demonstrate particle-like properties while collectively behaving like a wave. The hypoth-

esis was an important step in the development of quantum theory. This work would later earn him the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics. In the second paper, he devised a new method of counting and determining the size of the atoms and molecules in a given space, and in the third he offered a mathematical explanation for the constant erratic movement of particles suspended in a fluid. These two papers provided indisputable evidence of the existence of atoms, which at the time was still disputed by a few scientists. Einstein’s fourth groundbreaking scientific work of 1905 addressed what he termed his special theory of relativity. In special relativity, time and space are not absolute, but relative to the motion of the observer. Thus, two observers traveling at great speeds in regard to each other would not necessarily

observe simultaneous events in time at the same moment, nor necessarily agree in their measurements of space. In Einstein’s theory, the speed of light, which is the limiting speed of any body having mass, is constant in all frames of reference. In the fifth paper that year, an exploration of the mathematics of special relativity, Einstein announced that mass and energy were equival e n t a n d could be calculated with an equat i o n , E=mc2. He became an overnight celebrity and later, other predictions of general relativity,

such as a shift in the orbit of the planet Mercury and the probable existence of black holes, were confirmed by scientists. As a world-renowned public figure, he became increasingly political, taking up the cause of Zionism and speaking out against militarism and rearmament. In his native Germany, this made him an unpopular figure, and after Nazi leader Adolf Hitler became chancellor of Germany in 1933 Einstein renounced his German citizenship and left the country. He later settled in the United States, where he accepted a post at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, New Jersey. In 1939, despite his lifelong pacifist beliefs, he agreed to write to President Franklin D. Roosevelt on behalf of a group of scientists who were concerned with

American inaction in the field of atomic-weapons research. Like the other scientists, he feared sole German possession of such a weapon. He played no role, however, in the subsequent Manhattan Project and later deplored the use of atomic bombs against Japan. After the war, he called for the establishment of a world government that would control nuclear technology and prevent future armed conflict. In 1950, he published his unified field theory, which was quietly criticized as a failure. A unified explanation of gravitation, subatomic phenomena, and electromagnetism remains elusive today. Albert Einstein, one of the most creative minds in human history, died in Princeton in 1955

Mark goodier Mark Goodier - BBC Radio 1, Radio Clyde, Smooth FM and now on 105.3 SPECTRUM FM TENERIFE Join Mark Every Saturday morning for three years of hits from 9am

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Spotlight on Tenerife’s “Enchanted Forest”

t Cruz del Carmen is the “tropical forest in the clouds”, in the north of the island, straight up the TF1,then onto the TF2 toward La Laguna, past “ Al Campo” to join TF5, off at TF13 and finally TF12 to our target, from the south it’s about an hour’s leisurely drive.

On the day we went it was a typical sunny Tenerife day for most of the journey but as we neared the forest we noticed the clouds draping over the distant peaks like a shroud of dry ice. The final few kilometres as the roads narrowed and got steeper, we drove into the clouds and suddenly we were in a fairytale world, everything glistened due to the condensing cloud cover which looked like an eerie mist. The world had turned every shade of green as the canopies of the moss covered

trees lining the road, entwined above our heads, from a sunny day to a misty twilight world in minutes. We stopped and left the car in the ample parking area,(there’s an information centre, restaurant, ranger’s office and a viewing point-not much to see when we were there due to cloud but the view must be incredible). The first thing we noticed was the cold, take a jumper and a jacket!! Everything was dripping wet as we made our way to the start of the hiking trails. There are 3 different types of trail, all entitled the “path of the senses” , number one is a wooden path that’s suitable for everyone including wheelchairs, each trail has “sensory points” along the way, instructing you to close your eyes,feel textures,smell etc., great fun no matter how old you are!! The trails really have to be seen to be believed, they really do look like an enchanted forest movie set-we half ex-

pected to glimpse a wood nymph running for cover or a rabbit in a waistcoat looking at his pocket watch and saying “I’m late!I’m late!” The plantlife was stunning, the forests are identical to the ones that existed in the Tertiary period, unfortunately all the animal life must’ve been sleeping as although we were informed by multiple information boards that the forest was teeming with life, we saw none!! As well as the easy trail, there are 2 more that require an amount of exertion and hiking shoes,which take an average of 45 or 90 minutes respectively and after descending by foot about 200 feet, there’s a viewpoint looking over the Anaga mountains which words can’t describe, but what goes down must come up and the climb back will soon make you forget the cold!! I’m so glad that we went to this beautiful part of the island, I just can’t believe it took me so long to discover it!

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Tenerife Weekly Weekly - 7th February - 7th March 2014 2014 - 13th - 13th February March 2014

entertainment

By marc Craig

A A long time ago on a To Small Screen Other Behind from The Big holiday far far away Scenes Images I lOT OF mOVIE directors have made the leap to television, but robert rodriguez isn’t any old director, he’s started his own TV network!

So how similar or different will the TV series be? Rodriguez says: “The film, you only have a limited time to tell a story, and any character ROBERT RODRIGUEZ SPILLS HIS GUTS ON HIS NEW that Quentin creates, they ‘FROM DUSK TILL DAWN’ TV SERIES can live and breathe for so much more than that, and the movie had offered called Matador, a Lucha love Star and Wars, al- and I had to use them will be donning that The director and now so I decided to take the idea story-wise, but it goes in Libre wrestling reality showI ways have, and in my entertainment bikini again! founder of the El Rey netof the movie,some retell illusions it in a about completely different direcby I’d Mark Burnett Warning some of these may shatter some of your fa- produced thought seen just. column this week, The shots were taken for a work spoke this week about way, add new characters tions.” vourite films! But he’s definitely not gone about every photo and with the original cast spread in Rolling Stone Magahis new “video mix tape” and and have different things As well as the supernatufrom the big screen coma Helicopter 1-The Batplane program- happen to2-Hobbits the super-cool video includcharactersInyou returning next year I zine’s Summer Special back in ral drama (which he Rings, also pletely, there with theis-sequel to 1983, the year Return of the Are you kidding me? The Batplane? Batman’s In this rejected script version of Lord of the ming they have planned. know and love, and really ing all the behind thought it would be a Jedi hit cinemas. The issue also directs along with other up Sin City wrapped, you the can aerial attack vehicle very of fragileset andupthe Frodo and pals ditch whole perilous quest idea and just Of course, at theis top the story to sustain and coming talent like Evil scenes stuff, butmuch my little reminder of the had an interview with Carrie bet we will be seeing size a frisbee? Ilist won’t I am disappointed! jump in a chopper to get to Mordor! this of super-cool is alie new itself for several seasons. Dead remake director Fede more of Roberts work on little Sis shared these way they looked then, entitled “Space Cadet” as well TV version of his 1996 cult We get a lot more into the Alvarez), he has big plans the big screen. as I doubt Carrie Fisher as a George Lucas interview. with me last week classic From Dusk Till Dawn mythology of the temple for other programming on As previously reported (starring George Clooney where they go, and build the network, like an upcomon this page another major and Quentin Tarantino, with up that mythology. You see ing spy series from Roberto Latino Hollywood visionary some sign posts to what a screenplay by Tarantino). Orci and Alex Kurtzman making the transition to the TV is Guillermo del Toro who is overseeing a mini-series based on his vampire trilogy of novels, The Strain. Guillror subjects done as found “a very set-oriented, clasermo looks likely to be resical but at the same time visiting those inter-dimenfootage or B-value budgmodern take on the ghost sional Kaiju, who are looking ets. I wanted this to feel story”, citing The Omen, likely to return in Pacific Rim like a throwback.” Jessica The Exorcist and The Shin2. Then there’s the much Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, ing as influences. Del Toro talked about gothic horror Mia Wasikowska and Charlie 3-Crappy Cannibals 4- Titantrick! has stated, “I think people movie, Crimson Peak, Del Not a liver or a Chianti in sight, fast food fries No swirling ocean hundreds of feet below the are getting used to horHunnam are set to star. Toro described the film as hardly are hardly fitting for a man of your exqui- unsinkable ship in this set picture. site taste Mr Lecter! 6-Monty Python 1 Holy Grail 0 7- Soggy Hollow We are the Knights that say: Johnny, I don’t think the headless horseman is gonna “Over ‘ere son, on me ‘ead!” be to bothered by your Supersoaker, it’s not like you can squirt him in the eyes! FTEr EndlESS speculation Emperor type character. Could Driver be lining up to play Jacen Solo, which is far from over and although nothing’s been son of Han and Leia, who in the extended unisigned, it seems likely that the verse of comics and novels becomes Darth new Star Wars saga has found Caedus? Another actor mentioned as a potential vilit’s villain in “Girls” actor Adam lain for the new movie is John Noble, most fadriver. mous for playing Walter in the JJ Abrams proThe 30 year old has previously been linked duced series Fringe, an actor who, it is easy to to the role of Dick Grayson, former Robin but imagine as an older Emperor type character. 5-Sorcerer’s snack time! now assuming the mantle Nightwing in the Other actors rumored to be considered Man of Steel sequel Batman vs Superman, for a villainous role include 8Yoda, Jedi Muppet 10-Michael evenFassbendhomicidal maniacs need a break someIf these two but now he is apparently close to signing up er and Hugo Weaving. sense disturbance under times had just sat to play a villain “in the same vein” as Ithe iconica great my robes! and talked And finally, for Abrams recently announced thatanyone the who gets completely freaked out watchSith Lord Darth Vader. t h i n g s this should help you with your nightmares! script, originally writtening byhorror Little movies, Miss SunOf course, no Star Wars movie has only one through, shine and Toy Story 3’s Michael Ardnt but was bad guy and the saga is famous for having maybe the subject to rewrites by Empire Strikes Back history repeating certain themes, and - this Harry Potwriter Lawrence Kasdan and Abrams himself, is pure speculation but, due to his relatively ter saga was completed, do casting announcements young age, he could be a character who would have may start coming thick and fast! starts out on the light side of the force who been much Episode 7 is set for release on December is corrupted and turned to the dark side by an shorter. older “Phantom Menace” - in other words an 18th 2015.

first Cast Announcement for episode 7!

TheMandella: monuments men

Showing daily at 15:30 hr - 118min long walk to freedom Action/Biography/drama Showing daily at 17:00 hrunder - 141 min rated - not suitable for 7s Biography/Drama/History Starring Rated 12A George Clooney Starring

Information Correct at time of going to press. Check our Facebook page or contact the cinema for further information.

Tel: 922 713 858

Matt IdrisDamon Elba Bill Murray Naomie Harris John Goodman Terry Pheto Dujardin A chronicle Jean of Nelson Mandela’s life Cate journey from hisBlanchett childhood in a rural

An unlikely World II platoon is tasked village through to War his inauguration as the to art masterpieces from Nazi firstrescue democratically elected president of thieves and return them to their owners. South Africa.

9- Jaws The Directors Cut... In Half Smile you son of a bitch!

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Muslims demand Katy perry ‘Blasphemous’ Video Be Banned

MARCh 2014 Friday 7th March . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 9th March . . . . . . . . . . . .ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 10th March. . . . . . . . . . . .Decades Spectacular Wednesday 12th March . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Thursday 13th March . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 14th March . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 16th March . . . . . . . . . . .ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 17th March. . . . . . . . . . .St. Patrick´s Day Party (noon ´til 6) Monday 17th March . . . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Wednesday 19th March . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Thursday 20th March . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 21st March . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 23rd March . . . . . . . . . . . .ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 24th March. . . . . . . . . . . .Decades Spectacular

April 2014 Wednesday 9th April . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Thursday 10th April . . . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 11th April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 13th April. . . . . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 14th April. . . . . . . . . . . . . .Decades Spectacular Wednesday 16th April . . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Thursday 17th April . . . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 18th April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 20th April. . . . . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 21st April. . . . . . . . . . . . . .Decades Spectacular Wednesday 23rd April . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Thursday 24th April . . . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 25th April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience Sunday 27th April. . . . . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 28th April. . . . . . . . . . . . . .Decades Spectacular Wednesday 30th April . . . . . . . . .Bitter & Twisted Experience

May 2014 Thursday 1st May . . . . . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular * Discount vouchers are not accepted for these dates

OrE ThAn 50,000 people have signed an online petition filed by Shazad Iqbal of Bradford who describes Katy Perry’s video for her latest single ‘dark horse’ as ‘highly controversial to its viewers as a result of its portrayal of blasphemy’. The video has been slammed by muslims who have called for it to be banned from YouTube.

Particular offence has been taken at a scene that sees Katy zapping a man wearing a necklace with the word ‘Allah’ written in Arabic The petition says:

“At 01:15 into the video Dark Horse; a man is shown being burned, whilst wearing a pendant (also burned) forming the word ‘Allah’, which is the arabic word for God. Such goes to show, that blasphemy is clearly conveyed in the video, since Katy Perry (who appears to be representing an opposition of God) engulfs the believer and the word God in flames.” Most of the support for the petition comes from Britain but it has also been signed by supporters from Muslim-majority countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Qatar. The video for ‘Dark Horse’ - the third single from Katy’s new album ‘Prism’ - has already scored 33 million views on YouTube.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

sHArPLes in session By John sharples

CARNIVAL

t is carnival time in Tenerife and the place will be going potty until the end of the week. As I drove to work tonight I saw six young lads in full drag waiting for a bus. minnie mouse was walk-

ing across the road and I felt as though I was in an episode of the twilight zone.

I love the Spanish parties. They know how to party. A British fiesta or carnival is usually over in an afternoon and opened by the local vicar. Here in Tenerife, the party

gOINg BANANAS

goes on for over two weeks and is known as the second largest carnival in the world. I am looking forward to marching in the parade with my friends and then going for a few drinks in an outrageous outfit which I am still putting the finishing touches to. Photos next week!

MR gRUMpY SpeAKS

y friend dave Owen has been busy penning

his thoughts on facebook under the name of mr. Grumpy.

here are some of his thoughts from the last few days.

On the current crisis in Crimea he says, “Russia has said that suspending preparations for the G8 meeting in Sochi damages the international community but it seems invading another country is ok?” A comment on Scottish Independence, “Film star Sean Connery is urging fellow Scots to vote for independence when a referendum is held in September. What part of Scotland do you live in Sean oh yes the Bahamas and Marbella.” On the law being an ass, “A motorist who threw a cigarette end out of her car window has been ordered to pay more than £1,000 after she refused to pay a £75 on-the-spot fine. So what’s the next sentence if she refuses to pay? Life in jail?” Thank you Mr. Grumpy, you certainly manage to keep me entertained and I love sharing your comments.

hErE ArE BAnAnA plantations all over the Canary Islands. most of the bananas that people eat in the uK come from Tenerife and its neighbours. Tourists quite often stop to take photos of the unusual plant but not many people realize how special the fruit of the banana, which is officially a berry, is. When you have read these interesting facts, you might just feel a little differently about this humble yellow delicacy. 1. Bananas contain sucrose, fructose and glucose which are all natural sugars and this is all mixed together with lots of fibre. Bananas give a massive instant, prolonged energy boost. They can provide enough energy for a heavy 90-minute workout 2. Depression Cure - According to a recent survey of people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. The fruit contains tryptophan, which the body converts into serotonin which is known to make us relax and make us feel happier. 3. PMT Relief - The vitamin B6 that a banana contains regulates blood glucose levels, which affect your mood. 4. Anemia relief – They are high in Iron and can stimulate production of hemoglobin in the blood. 5. Lowers Blood Pressure – The Banana is bursting with potassium but it is low salt, which makes it perfect to tackle blood pressure. The US authorities have given permission to the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and strokes. 6. Helps Brain Power - 200 students at

a Middlesex school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas for breakfast and lunch. Research shows that the potassium-rich fruit assists learning by making pupils more alert. 7. Constipation Relief - Having bananas in your diet will help restore normal bowel action without having to use laxatives. 8. Hangover Cure – A fast hangover cure is to make a banana milkshake with a little honey added. The banana calms your stomach. With the help of the honey, low blood sugar levels will build up rapidly and the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. 9. Heartburn Cure - Bananas are a natural antacid so if you suffer from heartburn, eat a banana for quick relief. 10. Morning Sickness Relief – Eat a banana between meals to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness. 11. Mosquito Bite Relief – Rub the infected area with the inside of a banana skin. It can be very successful at reducing swelling and irritation. 12. Ulcer Relief - Bananas are the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It neutralizes acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach. It seems that a banana really is a natural remedy. Maybe the saying should be “A banana a day keeps the doctor away”. Compared to an apple, it has 4 TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, 3 TIMES the phosphorus, 5 times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Barbie Born!

n mArCh 9Th in 1959, the first ever Barbie doll went on display at the American Toy Fair in new York City. The woman behind Barbie, the first massproduced toy doll in the United States with adult features. Was Ruth Handler, who cofounded Mattel, Inc. with her husband in 1945. After seeing her young daughter ignore her baby dolls to play make-believe with paper dolls of adult women, Handler realized there was an important niche in the market for a toy that allowed little girls to imagine the future. Barbie’s appearance, eleven inches tall, with a waterfall of blond hair, was modeled on a

doll named Lilli, based on a German comic strip character. Originally marketed as a racy gag gift to adult men in tobacco shops, the Lilli doll later became extremely popular with children. Mattel bought the rights to Lilli and made its own version, which Handler named after her daughter, Barbara. With its sponsorship of the “Mickey Mouse Club” TV program in 1955, Mattel became the first toy company to broadcast commercials to children. They used this medium to promote their new toy, and by 1961, the enormous consumer demand for the doll led Mattel to release a boyfriend for Barbie. Handler named him Ken, after her son. Barbie’s best friend, Midge, came out in 1963; her little

Question 1: Which bird once common in Britain at locations like Salisbury Plain is the heaviest of all flying birds?

Question 2: Which famous British professional sportsman won his first race in 1948 and his last in 1994?

Question 3: What piece of equipment used in women’s field sports weighs 600g (21oz)?

Question 4: Who wrote in her diary: “I shall do my utmost to fulfil my duty towards my country. I am very young.”?

Question 5: What animal was most used in Britain to do heavy farm work in the Middle Ages?

Question 6: What sporting obstacle is three feet (91cm) high at its centre point?

Question 7: Who was finally given the full rank and priveliges of a British prince in 1957?

Question 8: What meat goes into a Finnish poromakkara sausage? Question 9: Which Superhero was revealed in 1997 to be Ben Reilly, not his clone, Peter Parker, as everyone had previously thought?

Question 10: Which Christian US president gave the order to drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

Question 11: What is the name of Jim Hawkins’ mother’s pub in Treasure Island?

sister, Skipper, debuted the following year. Over the years, Barbie generated huge sales-and a lot of controversy. On the positive side, many women saw Barbie as providing an alternative to traditional 1950s gender roles. She has had a series of different jobs, from airline stewardess, doctor, pilot and astronaut to Olympic athlete and even U.S. presidential candidate. Others thought Barbie’s neverending supply of designer outfits, cars and “Dream Houses” encouraged kids to be materialistic. It was Barbie’s appearance that caused the most controversy, however. Her tiny waist and enormous breasts--it was estimated that if she were a real woman, her measurements would be 36-18-38--led

many to claim that Barbie provided little girls with an unrealistic and harmful example and fostered negative body image. Despite the criticism, sales of Barbie-related merchandise continued to soar, topping 1 billion dollars annually by 1993. Since 1959, more than 800 million dolls in the Barbie family have been sold around the world and Barbie is now a bona fide global icon. Ironically when Pixar asked Mattel if they could use the toy superstar in their little movie “Toy Story”, the company declined, of course after the film became a smash hit worldwide and generated its own massively popular toy range....Barbie appeared in Toy Story 2.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

HoMe AnD gArDening

By Linda Barratt

hErE’S nOThInG like stepping out of bed onto a soft thick rug, curling your toes into it to greet the day. To know you’ve made it yourself can only be a double

bonus. I’m pretty sure that one of the following techniques will fit your style and abilities :BrAIdInG

The technique used is very very simple. All you need to do is use the basic threeband braiding. Your rug can be made from several strands of yarn or anything rope like, but i prefer braided rugs using strips of fabric. It’s good to use your own imagination here. Cut discarded clothing, coats, towels, blankets etc into long strips ready for use. Then all you have to do is start you’re braiding by sewing three ends together, this will be your center point if doing a circular rug. As the braid is being made it is also sewn to the braid next to it, this is what keeps the rug together so be sure to use a strong thread. Most braided rugs are either circular or oval, but it is possible to make a square or rectangle just by adjusting the spiral, or by braiding back and forth instead of around and around. KnITTInG Of course knitting will produce a thinner fabric

Making Rugs for your rug but it is an ideal technique for say a bathroom where you need to wash your rug regular. Try using several strands together for a chunkier look. If the thought of holding, and trying to balance on your knee, the heavy knitted piece is a bit daunting for you, especially as it grows in size; then you could try making it in squares or strips. Simply sew them together with the same wool you are using or use a crochet hook to pull the yarn through up and over to join. CrOChET

A rug can be crocheted using a thick yarn or even fabric strips and a very large hook. By crocheting you can create many different shapes, most certainly a larger rectangle or square. There is also plenty of scope to experiment with different colours and stitch patterns. Bear in mind though when trying differing stitches that you are creating something to be walked upon. Raised or loose stitches can catch on people’s toes or shoes, plus they will not wear as well as with a chunkier stitch. So I really don’t advise any open or lacey stitching. hOOKInG

Rugs can be hooked in two different ways. Using rug canvas, or if you can get hold of a sacking veggie or potato bag it would

Bugged By Bugs?

O YOu CAn’T bite back,but you can relax in your garden or on the patio without being literally swarmed by them. OK one or two may well find their way through, don’t bugs always, but you will also have an itch relief to hand if you plant or pot some of the plants I’m suggesting. Strangely enough you will find most of them to be herbs...very useful.

On a patio or for use as a garden screen you can’t beat lemon grass. It grows busy and tall and planted into a row of lage pots makes for a little privacy as well as repelling the little critters. Lemon balm is a natural bug repellent as it contains high levels of the compound citronella which gives it its lemony aroma and flavour that bugs hate so much. You can also rub the fresh leaves directly on your skin in those prone bitten areas. Peppermint too is another that biting bugs just do not like the smell of. If those pesky crits do happen to get

a nip...crush a leaf to release those juices and rub it into the bite as this herb can also double duty as itch relief. Lavender too keeps the bugs at bay, it has a lovely scent and pretty p u r p l e flowers. Ideal for the home too. The best one I

know of has t o be catnip. I t also r e p e l s cockroaches, s o m e thing that many of us living here can certainly appreciate. Can also be used as in the lemon balm, crushed and rubbed onto the skin. A word of warning though...your cat will be obsessed. She/he will be

rolling and frollicking all over your legs and plants. A little tip whilst on the subject of roaches...bay leaves...fresh if you can but dried do help a little. Placing the odd single leaf around cupboards drawers behind curtains or furniture will certainly help keep them away. A must in your kitchen. There are an awful lot of herbs that are said to distract the mozzies so next time you barbeque throw some sage or rosemary on the coals always seems to be the one tending the barbie that gets bit first ...ever noticed. I do have one final tip whilst your waiting for those plants to grow ...and a very effective one it is too. A good homemade remedy is to mix Listerine (about a tablespoon) with 8 fluid ounces of fabric softener. Yep that’s right. Good old Listerine mouthwash and the stuff you use in the washing machine. Mix and spray away at your skin...does a brilliant job.

cost you next to nothing to make by again using discarded clothing old bedding etc. Short pieces of yarn or fabric are used making little knots with a latch hook, filling in spaces on your canvas or sacking. You could also, for a flatter rug, use a continuous strand, fabric being the better choice, and pull it through a piece of burlap with a plain rug hook making small loops as you go. For best results, hooking with burlap really needs to be done on a frame. Easy enough to make your own, then oversew the burlap around the edges and over the frame to keep it taut for working upon. Canvas backed rugs can be worked without a frame. Hooking is a good choice for making your own patterns up. Latch hooking can produce any length pile, dense or shaggy depending on the length of yarn or fabric strips that you use. I can still remember as a young child, how my dad sat me upon his knee, teaching me to latch rugs. I found it so exciting that i was willing to give up my Sunday dress and coat to make more. We had them everywhere in our home until it was decided enough was enough, and then dad, bless him, brought out the sewing machine and taught me a few things on that too. For a stocky farmer come coalminer he certainly had a deft hand with the needles and hooks.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Aquarius 20 January to 18 February

Your antenna seems primed to seek out unusual experiences. You may be looking for opportunities that offer something a little bit different. Plus, social plans may have you in good spirits as the move of Venus into your sign paves the way for fun events and new friendships. Joint finances look more positive as Jupiter pushes ahead. If you’re looking for a loan, credit, or even advice, you may find your bank or financial adviser much more open to positive discussion.

Pisces 19 February to 20 March

Your originality and charisma may encourage favors from a romantic interest. However, if romance isn’t on your mind, you’ve got what it takes to launch an innovative and creative project. Group activities can open up exciting new avenues of opportunity as career and social interests combine productively. At this time of potential change, a friend can be counted on to provide tangible support. Later, resist the temptation to rush or you could end up having to redo a project or chore.

Aries 21 March to 19 April

It’s time to tap into your intuition and pay attention to feelings that can enliven your ambitions and projects. A fresh perspective on an important goal could be the catalyst that encourages you to make a move. This is also a good time to enjoy the people in your life and perhaps make entertainment, party, or other fun plans. A romantic notion could take hold, but with Mars currently retrograde it’s best to tread water rather than start a conversation you might regret later.

Taurus 20 April to 20 May

A meeting that has the potential for romance could be on your mind over the days ahead. However, this could be a case of fact versus fantasy, as you may be reading more into a situation than is really there. The Sun in intuitive Pisces links into your sixth sense, so pay attention to your gut reaction and take it from there. Important goals and career potentials are highlighted this week. Success may come down to thinking outside the box and trying out new ideas for size.

Gemini 21 May to 21 June

The loving feelings you have for your partner or sweetheart may boost your desire to shop this week, especially if you’re intending to buy them something special. As Jupiter forges ahead, money matters may start to show a positive angle that you’ll appreciate, especially if you’ve experienced a recent downturn. This is just as well, as a focus on your travel and adventure sector might entice you to plan ahead for a vacation or romantic break. If your love life needs a boost, this might just do it!

Cancer 22 June to 22 July

Have things taken a backward turn recently? It might be time to celebrate as Jupiter moves ahead once again after its retrograde phase. You can consider these two phases as similar to pulling back the bowstring before shooting an arrow. Now you have all the power, insight, and information you need to take aim and hit the center of the target. Whatever your current goal or focus, you could be quite impressive. You might also want to research any resources available for your next step.

Leo 23 July to 22 August

It may help to know your limitations this week. Try not to take on more than you can Take care of matters close to your heart, as a focus on relationships spotlights insightful opportunities to improve your love life. Passions may be muted and your fiery charisma could give way to a sensitive appreciation of the folks around you. Your appreciation of other people’s quirks and unique traits could be pleasantly enhanced once Venus enters Aquarius. You might be drawn to dating someone because their outlook is unusual and refreshing. Still, try to avoid mixed signals as Mars continues to rewind.

Virgo 23 August to 22 September

Any unpremeditated moves concerning joint finances should be avoided, if possible. Ongoing planetary patterns suggest you may be tempted to go over your limit if you need money in a hurry. As Mars continues its retrograde phase in your personal financial sector, it’s time to get organized, catch up on bills, and begin to pay off any debts. Relationships look positive and upbeat, although you might need to make a sacrifice regarding a romantic opportunity. It could be worth it for a more successful outcome.

libra 23 September to 23 October

Career matters may now show greater promise as Jupiter turns direct. If you’ve felt frustrated recently, see this as having done the groundwork. Your past efforts may now begin to show fresh roots and shoots. Along with this, romantic opportunities now get a boost as Venus glides into Aquarius. An impulse to get to know someone better could surprise you. Perhaps you’ll spot a side to the person that piques your curiosity. Renewed efforts to adopt a healthier way of life could benefit you, too.

Scorpio 24 October to 21 November

Thoughts of taking up a romantic opportunity could be linked to a desire to expand your options. The fun and playful side of relationships can positively impact your bond as of this week. Whether you’re newly in love or in a long-term partnership, it’s worth experimenting with ways to enjoy life and set your spirit free. Your home sector is also in focus as the presence of Venus might inspire you to redecorate or generally brighten things up. Consider entertaining and making new friends.

Sagittarius 22 November to 21 December

Mars will be retrograde in Libra for some time yet. The Sun sextiles Pluto on Monday, paving the way for a day of small but not insignificant changes. At the same time the Sun conjuncts Chiron, which could highlight healing options that can help ease an awkward situation. Venus moves out of Capricorn into Aquarius, bringing friendly opportunities to move in social circles. Finally, Jupiter turns direct in Cancer this week, so if your luck has been delayed, you may soon find opportunity knocking at your door.

Capricorn 22 december to 19 January

Life on the home front could be prone to disruptions, which might mean you feel generally unsettled. Yet despite this, you could be excited by the prospects open to you, which seem to beckon when you’re willing to move out of your comfort zone. However, there’s no rush. The plans you have in mind may be best handled by taking a longer view. If you’re consistent, you’ll get there in the end. You might want to treat yourself to one or two of life’s little luxuries as Venus sashays into Aquarius.

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Canine Carnival

T’S CArnIVAl time not just here in Tenerife but worldwide, including the mother of all Carnivals, rio, Brazil!! Although the very word carnival means to

take away meat, which you’d think dogs would have a problem with, it seems that there are plenty of puppy partiers, as these photos from Rio will prove!!

www.tenerife-weekly.com

PUgH´s PAntrY By Barry Pugh

MARShMALLOw

he first time I ever made marshmallows, it didn’t go to plan. I spent hours slaving over a boiling saucepan

and proudly posted a picture of the result on Facebook. The first and only comment

pronouncedthat it looked like ‘whale blubber’. Not the culinary triumph I’d hoped for. However, marshmallows are growing in popularity. Homemade, gourmet-style mallows are the talk of the food town, popping up in food markets, cookbooks and delis across the world in all sorts of new and exciting flavours. Feeling

inspired, I decided to give it another go and, thankfully, this simple recipe I found from Dr. Oetker was a breeze. It produced a glut of pretty marshmallows with a fluffy, light-as-air texture. And this time, eventhe fussiest of my friends scoffed them down — without a single reference to a certain sea mammal...

VANILLA MARShMALLOwS Ingredients:

1 sachet of Dr. Oetker Egg White Powder 5 leaves of Dr. Oetker Select Fine Leaf Gelatine 100g granulated sugar

50g Dr. Oetker Liquid Glucose 5mI vanilla extract 25g corn flour

mEThOd:

Grease and line an 18cm square, 2.5cm deep cake tin. In a large, heatproof bowl, make up the egg white powder according to the packet instructions, and whisk until very stiff. Set aside. Cut the gelatine leaves into a small heatproof bowl. Add 60ml cold water and soak for 5 mins. Place the bowl over a pan of gently simmering water until melted. Remove and set aside. Put the sugar in a small pan with 50ml water and the liquid glucose. Heat gently, stirring, until melted. Raise the heat and let the mixture bubble until it becomes syrupy and reaches 118°C (use a sugar thermometer). Remove from the heat.

Whisk the egg white mixture while pouring in the hot sugar syrup. Continue whisking as you gradually pour in the liquid gelatine and vanilla extract, to form a thick, glossy, meringue-like mixture (this takes about 5mins). Scrape the mixture into the tin and smooth the top. Leave in a cool, dry place (not the fridge) for 3-4 hrs., until firm and set. Dust a work surface with corn flour and turn the marshmallow out onto it. Peel off the paper and cut into 25 chunks. Toss in the corn flour to lightly coat. Store between sheets of greaseproof paper in a sealed container for up to 2 weeks.

Pugh’s tips / hints RUN YOUR KNIFE under hot water before cutting thesquares — it makes it much neater. Coat the cubes with desiccated coconut or finelychopped nuts for a different texture.

37 parkle´s S y r r Ba Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Marshmallows make a lovely gift, stacked incellophane and tied with a ribbon. For pink rose marshmallows: Instead of the vanilla extract, add a few drops of rosewater and a few drops of red food

colouring. For chocolate marshmallows: Instead of the vanilla extract, sift 2tbsp cocoa powder into the egg white mixture.

Bit On The Side

hellooo Sparklettes!

Ell, I’m sat here trying to write this and even I have to admit my mind’s gone blank…however I have gotta mention that I’m totally hooked on the Oscar Pistorius case…if only he had been firing blanks !!!

First we had OJ and now we got OP…who’s next… OK… you got me, I did it !!!...That’s what happens when I don’t get… roses, chocolates, let alone a card !!! Channel 5 were back in filming i n Vivo this week, this time our Afternoon Sessions were the subject with our live entertainment boys in front of the cameras… even our

editor also got interviewed about his experiences with the “oldies” over the years…I can’t believe he is confessing!!! They now have that much material they could start their own channel, let alone a series !!! Did you catch The Voice at the weekend??? It was the battle rounds and some great vocal faceoff performances, but with two singers trying to outdo each other f r o m opposite sides of the stage… it looked more like the judges

Kylie !!! After my recent skiing expedition, I hear the boys have been to Andorra, and apparently, if you want to be ‘avalanche proof’, take a ginger with you, George or no George !!!...And…I did say… proof, before you all start twisting my words…It’d be take a ‘Jonny’ otherwise!!!... And that’s only a ‘Rumour’ before you accuse me of… ermm…Blasphemy !!! Good Luck Marc and Becky with your new home up with the gods, may you always be on cloud 9 , 10 or whatever it may bring you !!! Lastly…sorry to hear such sudden and sad news… skateboard for sale !!! ermm…

were

watching a tennis match…

advantage

Till next week… Sparkling !!!

hardly used !!! Keeep

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Commonyms

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a commonym you ask?

A commonyms is group of words that have a common trait in the three words/items listed. For example: the words; A car - A tree - An elephant.. they all have trunks. These will make you think! 1. Year - Address - Scrap ________________________________________________ 2. Trains - Teapots - Referees ___________________________________________ 3. Statues - Turkeys - Initials ____________________________________________ 4. A Rooster - A Barber Shop - A Beehive _________________________________ 5. Pick-up - Fire - 4x4 ___________________________________________________ 6. Jump - Swim - Three Piece ____________________________________________ 7. McDonalds - St. Louis - A Foot _________________________________________ 8. Mud - Pot - Coconut ____________________________________________________________________ 9. Rock - Table - Epsom ___________________________________________________________________ 10. New - Full - Cresent ___________________________________________________________________ 11. Steak - Spaghetti - Tartar _____________________________________________________________ 12. A Bobbin - Spider Webb - A Screw ______________________________________________________ 13. Tow - Row - Show _____________________________________________________________________ 14. Rally - Stock - Drag ____________________________________________________________________ 15. Families - Trees - Hair _________________________________________________________________

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Issue 119 - PuzzlES Page 8. Page 16. Page 34. Page 56.

Cryptic Crossword Sudoku Pub Quiz Quick Crossword

Answers to the COMMONYMS are on page 2.

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Motoring News

By Lingy

NEED FOR SPEED MOVIE SPECIAL M

Need For Speed: The Ultimate Petrolhead Movie?

arch 14th sees the release of the movie that promises to shake the Fast and Furious off the top spot when it comes to fast, expensive car lovers wet dream of a movie! Need For Speed, which was first released back in 1994, with almost 30 sequels/spinoffs, is the most successful racing video game series in the world, and one of the most successful video game franchises of all time. Now it’s been turned into a movie starring

Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman, actor Aaron Paul… except it doesn’t really, it stars the awesome machinery that goes into cars like the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport, Koenigsegg Agera, Lamborghini Sesto Elemento, McLaren P1, Saleen S7, and even a rare GTA Spano. There will also be a brand new 2015 Ford Mustang GT as well as a heavily modified 2014 model with a wide-body kit. As if that wasn’t enough for the true fast car officianado, the makers, including director Scott Waugh, and the team of daredevil

stunt drivers, insist that every stunt in the movie is real and has been actually driven and performed by one of the supercars or their significantly - -at least by comparison replica stunt cars, the only CGI used here will be to remove the multitude of cameras used to grab every possible angle of every bone shattering action scene, and the stunt driver who is really controlling the actors wheels from a roof mounted rig!! Who cares if there’s barely a whiff of a plot in the game...just look at those cars!!

Lamborghini

Saleen S7 Bugatti Veyron

Koenigsegg Agera

Mclaren P1

GTA Spano

Ford Mustang

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

7 March

Friday - TV 06:00: 09:15: 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:30: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:30: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:25: 22:35: 00:20:

06:55: 07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 23:05: 00:15: 01:10: 02:00:

Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Caught Red Handed Bargain Hunt BBC News at One BBC London News Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country James Martin: Home Comforts Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News The One Show A Question of Sport EastEnders Room 101 Jonathan Creek BBC News at Ten BBC London News The Proposal EastEnders Omnibus

You’ve Been Framed! The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Coyote Ugly Take Me Out Two and a Half Men Mom You’ve Been Framed

06:05: 07:05: 07:50: 08:35: 09:00: 12:00: 13:00: 13:10: 13:40: 14:40: 15:25: 16:15: 16:45: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:05: 00:35: 01:35:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 09:35: 10:00: 10:25: 10:50: 11:55: 13:00: 14:05: 16:10: 16:40: 17:15: 17:50: 18:55: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:05: 00:10:

Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Helicopter Heroes The Travel Show Athletics The Daily Politics A to Z of TV Gardening War Walks The First Eden Cagney and Lacey Bergerac Are You Being Served? ’Allo, ‘Allo! Antiques Roadshow Revenge of the Egghead Sport Relief’s Top Dog Athletics Gardeners’ World 37 Days QI Newsnight The Best of Men Question Time Hidden Kingdoms

French Fields Heartbeat Inspector Morse Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Murder, She Wrote The House of Eliott Heartbeat Columbo Home to Roost Second Thoughts The Upper Hand Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Agatha Christie’s Poirot Caroline Quentin’s National Parks Scott and Bailey Law and Order: UK A Perfect Murder

08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:35: 00:25:

06:00:

06:15: 07:05: 08:00: 08:25: 08:55: 10:00: 11:00:

11:25: 11:45: 17:00: 18:05: 19:00: 23:00: 01:15:

Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Dickinson’s Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages Coronation Street Edge of Heaven ITV News at Ten and Weather The Americans The Chase Jackpot247

07:05:

Greatest World Cup Matches World’s Wildest Police Videos Black Gold Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Police, Camera, Action! World of Sport Darts The New Avengers World’s Wildest Police Videos Darts 300 The Motorbike Show

06:00: 07:00:

07:10: 08:00: 09:30: 11:00: 12:00: 12:05: 13:05: 14:10: 14:40: 15:30: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:45: 23:35: 00:05: 01:30: 01:55: 02:00: 05:45:

08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:40: 23:20: 00:15: 01:20: 01:55:

Paralympic Winter Games... The Countdown Will and Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Big Bang Theory Channel 4 News Four in a Bed Four in a Bed Four in a Bed Countdown Paralympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Crufts 2014 Gogglebox The Last Leg 8 Out of 10 Cats Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brüno The Simpsons Random Acts Happy Endings Paralympic Winter Games

Home Shopping World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Dynamo: Magician Impossible Not Going Out Not Going Out Suits Milton Jones’s One Night Stand Not Going Out Not Going Out

06:00 08:00: 08:15: 08:25: 08:35: 08:45: 09:00: 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:55: 00:00:

06:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:30: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:30: 22:15: 23:15: 23:45: 00:15: 01:15:

Children’s TV Fifi and the Flowertots Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Wright Stuff Police Interceptors 5 News Lunchtime The Lost Orphan: A Home for Mirela Home and Away Neighbours NCIS High Noon 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live The Gadget Show Ice Road Truckers Soho Blues NCIS: Los Angeles CSI: NY Access Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans FL72 Ringside Barclays Premier League World Darts Gold Premier League Darts Darts Gold Sporting Greats Ringside Barclays Premier League World Champions League Weekly The Fantasy Football Club Rugby League The Fantasy Football Club Barclays Premier League Preview Champions League Weekly The Fantasy Football Club FL72

19:00:

19:30: 21:00: 22:40: 23:10: 23:55: 00:40: 01:10:

Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth be with You Doctor Who I Am Number Four EastEnders Family Guy American Dad! Pramface Ja’mie: Private School Girl

11:00: 12:40: 15:05: 17:25: 19:10: 21:00:

Gaslight Air Force Heavens Above! The Desperadoes Bedazzled Bad Teacher Cameron Diaz stars in Jake Kasdan’s comedy as reluctant and irresponsible teacher Elizabeth Halsey. 22:55: There’s Something About Mary 01:15: Rushmore

06:00: 06:30: 08:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:30: 15:30: 16:30: 18:30: 19:30: 22:00:

00:00:

01:00: 02:00:

ATP Tour Uncovered Rugby Union Rugby Union The Rugby Club Rugby Super League Ringside The Rugby Club FL72 Rugby Super League WWE Raw Tight Lines Football World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Smackdown World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Bottom Line Super League Highlights The F1 Show

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

S a t u r d ay - T V 06:00: 10:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:45: 13:00: 13:10: 13:15: 14:00: 16:25: 16:35: 16:40: 19:00: 21:10: 21:20: 22:10: 22:30: 23:45: 01:05: 01:10:

06:00: 08:40: 11:05: 12:05: 13:00: 13:45: 14:30: 14:45: 16:50: 19:00:

21:15: 23:10: 01:25: 02:00:

Breakfast Saturday Kitchen Live Mary Berry Cooks Football Focus Saturday Sportsday BBC News BBC London News Bargain Hunt Six Nations Rugby Union BBC News BBC London News Six Nations Rugby Union The Voice UK The National Lottery Live Casualty BBC News Match of the Day The Football League Show Weatherview BBC News

Emmerdale Omnibus Coronation Street Omnibus Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Real Housewives of Beverly Hills The Only Way is Essex The Only Way is Essex The Hot Desk Curly Sue Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang The Incredible Hulk Comic book adaptation. A genetic mutation causes mild-mannered Bruce Banner to turn into the green and muscular Incredible Hulk when he gets angry. The Sweetest Thing Pitch Black Fake Reaction You’ve Been Framed!

07:00: 07:30: 08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 11:30: 12:15: 13:00: 14:35: 16:30: 17:10: 20:15: 20:45: 21:15: 22:15: 22:45: 23:30: 01:30:

06:00: 06:10: 07:05: 08:10: 09:20: 11:40: 12:50: 14:50: 16:55: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00:

23:00: 01:15:

Sport Relief’s Top Dog Sport Relief’s Top Dog Sport Relief’s Top Dog Sport Relief’s Top Dog Athletics Escape to the Country Talking Pictures The Trouble with Harry The Man Who Knew Too Much Final Score Athletics Dad’s Army The Perfect Morecambe and Wise 37 Days Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle QI XL Milk Nemesis

Movies Now Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime The Blackheath Poisonings Sherlock Holmes Agatha Christie’s Poirot Sparkling Cyanide Columbo Agatha Christie’s Marple Rosemary and Thyme Doc Martin Endeavour Fugue. Series 1, episode 2. Four-part crime drama series about the young Detective Constable Endeavour Morse. An unknown menace stalks Oxford, striking fear into the hearts of its citizens. A Touch of Frost Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime

8 March th

06:00 Children’s TV 08:50: Scrambled! 09:25: ITV News 09:30: Dinner Date 10:25: Murder, She Wrote 11:25: ITV News and Weather 11:30: The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12:00: F.A. Cup Live 15:00: The Illusionists 16:05: The Chase 17:05: Off Their Rockers 17:35: ITV News London 17:45: ITV News and Weather 18:00: You’ve Been Framed! 19:00: Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 20:20: The Cube 21:20: The Jonathan Ross Show 22:20: ITV News and Weather 22:35: FA Cup Highlights 23:25: All You Can Eat 00:20: Jackpot247

06:00: 06:25: 06:55: 07:20: 07:55: 08:55: 09:55: 10:20: 10:50: 11:15: 11:45: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 23:00:

01:20:

Cheers Cheers Cheers Tommy Cooper Minder Bundesliga UEFA Champions League Weekly Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty Darts Sports Life Stories I Want That Car Darts Jarhead Gritty Gulf War drama about experiences in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. Anthony ‘Swoff’ Swofford makes it through boot camp to become a Marine sniper and is sent to Saudi Arabia, where he and his unit wait for action. The Cycle Show

09:00:

11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 16:10: 16:40: 17:10: 17:40: 18:10: 18:30: 19:00: 21:00: 22:00: 00:00: 01:35:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 21:40: 22:20: 23:00: 23:40: 00:40: 01:20: 02:00:

Ant and Dec’

Saturday Night Takeaway ITV - 19:00 - 20:20

hE OnlY SErIES on TV that says ‘don’t just watch the ads – win them!’ continues with a host of brand new stunts, surprises and shocks for the studio audience and viewers at home. This week Ant and Dec give David Dickinson the surprise of his life when they go undercover, and the boys voyage in to the unknown as they battle it out in another Ant v Dec. The Supercomputer has made its way to Norwich to dish out more prizes, and Ant and Dec get down with The Mazeppa Cossacks in the End Of The Show Show. ‘A’ list superstars will also be joining the fun live in the

studio, but not even the biggest stars are safe as the Geordie duo lead some of their most ambitious celebrity set-ups. This series sees Ant & Dec attempt some of their most difficult Undercovers to date. Ashley Roberts will be back to challenge the pair to the ultimate duel in Ant v Dec, and whilst Little Ant and Dec may have already rubbed shoulders with Gerard Butler, Mila Kunis and Bruce Forsyth, this series will see them spring more cheeky questions on their new celebrity chums. One lucky member of the studio audience will also be given the chance to play for the contents of a commercial break in Win the Ads, with spectacular prizes including cars and holidays on offer.

Paralympic Winter Games Jonathan Edwards and Ade Adepitan present live coverage of the Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi. Six gold medals will be decided in the Men’s 7.5k and Women’s 6k Biathlon today. The Morning Line Deal or No Deal Channel 4 Racing Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Paralympic Winter Games Crufts 2014 Hostages X-Men: The Last Stand Cloverfield Blackout

Home Shopping Ray Mears’ Northern Wilderness Top Gear Storage Hunters Flip Men Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Top Gear Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Top Gear Dynamo: Magician Impossible Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Mock the Week QI XL Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf

06:00 007:10:

Children’s TV Bananas in Pyjamas 07:25: Make Way for Noddy 07:40: City of Friends 07:55: Little Princess 08:10: The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:30: Angelina Ballerina 08:45: Rupert Bear 09:00: Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15: Jelly Jamm 09:35: LazyTown 10:05: Zathura: A Space Adventure 12:00: The Fifth Element 14:25: Wimbledon 16:10: Columbo 17:45: Columbo: Double Shock 19:00: NCIS 20:00: NCIS 20:55: 5 News Weekend 21:00: UFC Fight Night London: Live 00:05: Super Casino

06:00:

Barclays Premier League Preview 06:30: Ringside 07:30: Barclays Premier League Preview 08:00: The Fantasy Football Club 09:00: Game Changers 10:00: Soccer A.M. 12:00: Football 14:30: Saturday Night Football: Team Talk 15:00: Gillette Soccer Saturday 17:00: Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00: Saturday Night Football: Game of the Day 22:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30: Football 00:00: Saturday Reloaded 01:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

19:00:

19:25: 20:15: 21:15: 22:45: 23:30: 00:15: 00:35: 01:20: 01:50:

11:00: 13:00: 15:05: 17:15: 19:05: 21:00: 23:10: 01:50:

Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge of the Fifth Doctor Who Top Gear Blades of Glory Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Bluestone 42 Impractical Jokers

Laughter in Paradise Inkheart August Rush The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud St. Trinian’s Knight and Day Vanilla Sky The Rocky Horror Picture Show

06:00: Super League Gold 06:15: Super League Gold 06:30: Rugby Union 08:30: Rugby Union 10:30: Super Rugby 11:00: Ringside 12:00: LV Cup Rugby Union Northampton v Saracens. Northampton Saints face Saracens at Franklin’s Gardens in the semi-finals of the LV= Cup. The Saints secured a 20-16 victory over Sarries in the pool phase. 15:00: Rugby Union 17:00: Super League Gold 17:15: Football 19:00: La Liga 21:00: La Liga 23:00: Cycling-Stride Bianche 23:30: LV Cup Rugby Union 00:30: Cycling-Stride Bianche 01:00: La Liga 02:00: Scottish Cup Football

Editor Recommends

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

9 March

Sunday - TV

06:00: 07:40: 09:00:

Breakfast Match of the Day The Andrew Marr Show 10:00: The Big Questions 11:00: Sunday Politics 12:15: Wanted Down Under 13:00: BBC News 13:15: Bargain Hunt 13:45: Escape to the Country 14:30: Six Nations Rugby Union 17:00: Deadly on a Mission: Pole to Pole 17:30: Songs of Praise 18:05: BBC News 18:20: BBC London News 18:30: Blandings 19:00: Countryfile 20:00: Call the Midwife 21:00: The Musketeers 22:00: BBC News 22:15: BBC London News 22:25: Bruce Almighty 00:00: Forget Me Not 01:30: Weatherview 01:35: BBC News

06:00: 06:45: 06:55: 09:50: 12:10: 13:10: 14:10: 16:25: 17:40: 19:30: 22:00: 22:50: 23:50: 00:50: 01:20: 01:45:

Beauty and the Geek The Hot Desk Emmerdale Omnibus Coronation Street Omnibus Dinner Date Australia You’ve Been Framed! Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed Batman and Robin The Only Way is Essex Party Wright Around the World The Big Reunion Mom Mom The Vampire Diaries

06:00: 06:15: 07:15: 08:15: 09:15: 09:45: 11:15: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:35: 01:50:

06:00: 06:10: 06:30: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 12:30: 13:40: 14:45: 16:45: 18:55: 21:00: 22:00:

00:20:

This is BBC Two Son of Kong Monty Don’s Italian Gardens Countryfile Gardeners’ World Saturday Kitchen Best Bites James Martin: Home Comforts Michel Roux’s Service Michel Roux’s Service Athletics Flog it! Trade Secrets Mystery of the Moor Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom Top Gear Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers Mock the Week Line of Duty The Killing Fields Countryfile

Movies Now Judge Judy City of Angels Heartbeat Heartbeat Sparkling Cyanide The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Rosemary and Thyme Columbo Lewis Agatha Christie’s Poirot It’ll be Alright on the Night Inspector Morse When a young woman is shot through her kitchen window at close range, the investigation takes Morse to a college where the contest for the mastership has taken an ugly turn. Bloody Sunday

06:00 07:30: 07:35: 07:50: 08:10: 08:50: 09:25: 10:25: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 16:20: 18:35: 18:45: 19:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:15: 22:45: 23:45: 00:40:

06:00: 06:25: 06:55: 07:25: 07:55: 08:25: 08:55: 09:45: 10:45: 11:45: 12:45: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 23:00: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

Children’s TV Scrambled! Almost Naked Animals Horrid Henry Victorious Scrambled! Murder, She Wrote Dickinson’s Real Deal ITV News and Weather The Crocodile Hunter Diaries River Monsters F.A. Cup Live Live and Let Die ITV News London ITV News and Weather Dancing on Ice Mr Selfridge ITV News and Weather Birds of a Feather FA Cup Highlights LV= Cup Rugby Highlights The Store

Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers Tommy Cooper World’s Wildest Police Videos The Motorbike Show The Car Chasers Ax Men Darts Police, Camera, Action! Police, Camera, Action! Storage Wars Storage Wars Darts The Power of Darts Hell on Wheels River Monsters Nitro Circus

www.bonadea2catamaran.com

Tel. 922 714 500 Whale Watching Puerto Colon 2 Hours 22 Euros

06:00: Paralympic Winter Games 11:00: Paralympic Winter Games 14:30: Big Bang Theory 15:00: Big Bang Theory 15:30: How I Met Your Mother 16:00: The Simpsons 16:30: The Simpsons 17:00: Deal or No Deal 18:00: Channel 4 News 18:30: Paralympic Winter Games 19:00: Crufts 2014 21:00: One Day Director Lone Scherfig’s adaptation of David Nicholls’ romantic bestseller follows the relationship of two friends across two decades. 23:05: Working Girl 01:15: The Good Wife 02:00: One Born Every Minute 05:45: Paralympic Winter Games

06:00 Children’s TV 08:10: The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:25: Angelina Ballerina 08:35: Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 08:45: Rupert Bear 09:00: Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15: Jelly Jamm 09:30: LazyTown 10:00: Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10:35: Power Rangers: Megaforce 11:00: Access 11:05: Police Interceptors 12:05: Ice Road Truckers 13:00: Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 14:00: The Hotel Inspector 15:00: Forever Young 17:05: 5 News Weekend 17:10: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son 19:10: Hancock 21:00: Blade: Trinity 23:00: Beowulf 01:10: Super Casino

19:00: 21:15: 22:15: 22:35: 22:55: 23:25: 23:50: 00:10:

06:00: 07:00: 07:10: 09:00:

06:00:

10:00: 11:00: 11:40: 12:20: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 18:40: 19:20: 20:00: 22:00: 23:50: 01:35:

Home Shopping Carpool Top Gear Total Wipeout Australia Storage Hunters QI Have I Got a Bit More News for You QI Top Gear Top Gear Dynamo: Magician Impossible Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Top Gear QI Have I Got a Bit More News for You QI Have I Got a Bit More News for You Have I Got a Bit More News for You Have I Got a Bit More News for You Dave’s One Night Stand

07:30: 08:30: 10:00: 12:00:

15:00: 17:55: 20:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:30: 23:45: 00:00: 01:00: 01:30: 02:00:

Saturday Night Football: Match Choice Game Changers The Sunday Supplement Goals on Sunday Football Blackburn Rovers v Burnley. Blackburn Rovers and Burnley meet at Ewood Park in the Sky Bet Championship. The teams couldn’t be separated when they last met. Football La Liga La Liga Fl 72 Highlights Football Football’s Greatest Spanish Gold Spanish Gold La Liga Fl 72 Highlights Football Football’s Greatest Managers

00:40: 01:10: 01:40:

The Voice UK Hair Family Guy Family Guy Bluestone 42 American Dad! American Dad! Ja’mie: Private School Girl Bad Education Pramface Hair

11:00: 13:00: 15:00: 16:50: 18:45: 20:50:

The Bravados Chalet Girl Silent Running Clueless Dear John Never Let Me Go Interview Special 21:00: Good Morning, Vietnam Robin Williams stars in this black comedy as DJ Adrian Cronauer. 23:20: The Hills Have Eyes II 01:05: Dancer in the Dark

07:00: 08:00: 10:30: 11:30: 12:00: 12:30:

15:00: 15:30: 17:30: 18:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 01:00: 01:30:

Super League Highlights La Liga Netball Super League La Liga Football’s Greatest Football’s Greatest Managers LV Cup Rugby Union Bath v Exeter. Bath take on Exeter Chiefs at the Recreation Ground in the semifinals of the LV= Cup. Bath got the better of Exeter in the pool phase, running out 37-15 winners. Sporting Greats WWE SmackDown! Super Rugby Cricket Cricket WWE Late Night Afterburn Cricket This Week in WWE WWE Vintage Collection

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

10 M a r c h

M o n d ay - T V 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:15: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:20: 23:50: 00:40:

Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Watchdog Test House Bargain Hunt BBC News at One Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country James Martin’s Food Map of Britain Flog it! Trade Secrets Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News The One Show Bang Goes the Theory EastEnders Panorama Silk BBC News at Ten The Michael McIntyre Chat Show Late Kick Off Live at the Apollo BBC News

07:25: 07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 00:05:

You’ve Been Framed! The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale Coronation Street Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Mom 40 Days and 40 Nights Two and a Half Men

10:05: 10:35: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 13:10: 13:40: 14:40: 15:25: 16:15: 16:45: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20:

Great British Railway Journeys Click BBC News The Daily Politics Coast War Walks British Isles: A Natural History Cagney and Lacey Bergerac Are You Being Served? ’Allo, ‘Allo! Antiques Roadshow Revenge of the Egghead Sport Relief’s Top Dog Top Gear University Challenge Mary Berry Cooks Mind the Gap: London v The Rest ARTiculation For the Love of Art Newsnight Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers

06:00: Movies Now 06:10: Home to Roost 06:35: Heartbeat 07:30: Sherlock Holmes 09:45: Judge Judy 10:10: Judge Judy 10:40: Judge Judy 11:05: Murder, She Wrote 12:05: The House of Eliott 13:15: Heartbeat 14:15: Columbo 16:20: Home to Roost 16:50: Second Thoughts 17:20: The Upper Hand 17:55: Heartbeat 18:55: Murder, She Wrote 20:00: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 21:00: Long Lost Family 22:00: Whitechapel 23:00: Law and Order: UK 00:05: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 01:10: Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime

06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:05: 00:05:

06:00: 06:10: 06:30: 07:15: 07:55: 08:50: 09:55: 10:55: 12:00: 13:00: 13:55: 14:45: 15:50: 16:50: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 21:30: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

Daybreak Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Dickinson’s Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV News Emmerdale Coronation Street I Never Knew That About Britain Coronation Street DCI Banks ITV News at Ten The Agenda The Secret Mediterranean with Trevor McDonald Jackpot247

11:00:

Movies Now Motorway Patrol World’s Wildest Police Videos Black Gold Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Black Gold World’s Wildest Police Videos Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder LV= Cup Rugby Highlights Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Ax Men Bundesliga LV= Cup Rugby Highlights World’s Wildest Police Videos Minder

06:00: 07:00:

12:30: 12:35: 14:40: 15:30: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:50: 23:50: 00:50: 00:55: 01:40: 05:30:

08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 21:40: 22:40: 23:40: 00:40: 01:40:

Paralympic Winter Games Channel 4 News Summary Paralympic Winter Games Countdown Deal or No Deal Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Paralympic Winter Games Food Unwrapped One Born Every Minute 8 Out of 10 Cats Gogglebox Troy Random Acts Scandal Hostages Paralympic Winter Games

Home Shopping World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads QI XL Would I Lie to You? Have I Got a Bit More News for You Russell Howard’s Good News Extra QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Would I Lie to You? World’s Most Dangerous Roads

06:00 08:15: 08:20: 08:25: 08:30: 08:35: 08:45: 09:00: 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 01:05:

06:00: 09:00: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 14:00: 14:30: 15:30: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 00:30:

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Wright Stuff Police Interceptors 5 News Lunchtime Benidorm ER Home and Away Neighbours NCIS A Time to Remember 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live The Gadget Show Police Interceptors Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! Caught on Camera Lock Up Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans La Liga Football Football La Liga Football Football Fl 72 Highlights Football Gold Spanish Gold La Liga The Fantasy Football Club Game Changers Soccer A.M. The Best Bits FL72 The Footballer’s Football Show Barclays Premier League Review FL72 The Footballer’s Football Show Barclays Premier League Review SPFL Round Up Soccer A.M.

19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:45: 00:30: 01:00:

11:00: 13:05: 14:50: 16:40: 18:45: 20:50: 21:00: 23:00: 01:10:

Hotel of Mum and Dad Junior Paramedics EDL Girls: Don’t Call Me Racist Impractical Jokers EastEnders Family Guy American Dad! Impractical Jokers EDL Girls: Don’t Call Me Racist

Only the Valiant Crooks Anonymous An Elephant Called Slowly The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex Mad Money Starred Up Interview Special Never Let Me Go Blue Valentine Saturday Night Fever

06:00: Cricket 07:00: Cricket 08:00: Cricket 09:00: LV Cup Rugby Union 10:00: LV Cup Rugby Union 11:00: Max Power 12:00: Badminton-All England Open 14:00: Cricket 15:00: LV Cup Rugby Union 16:00: LV Cup Rugby Union 17:00: WWE Raw 19:00: Super League Fulltime 20:00: Cricket 21:00: Cricket 22:00: World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Bottom Line 23:00: WWE Late Night Afterburn 00:00: WWE NXT 01:00: World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Raw

Bang Goes The Theory Editor Recommends xxxxxxxxx

BBC 1 - 19:30 - 20:00

AnG GOES ThE ThEOrY is back, with another eight exciting episodes, tackling the topics of the moment, the science that affects all our lives.

Where are we in our fight against cancer? How will we be able to get to work on our ageing railways, full to capacity and yet population rising? And as we all need to decide whether to allow the NHS to share our medical records, who is really set to benefit from the Big Data Explosion? This series is the definitive guide to the science driving the headlines. Presenters Jem Stansfield, Liz Bonnin and Maggie

Philbin investigate how close Britain might get to running out of electricity. We live in a world where the lights are always on. But will that be the case in 20 years time? Maggie Philbin spends a day in one of Britain’s most secret locations, the control room of the National Grid – whose job it is to make sure the electricity is always there when you need it. Here she learns that almost half our generating capacity will disappear in our lifetimes. Jem shows how and why most of our electricity now relies on gas and reveals a potential fuel of the future: liquid air.

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

11 M a r c h

Tu e s d a y - T V

06:00: 09:15: 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:15: 17:15: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:35: 00:10: 00:15:

06:25: 07:25: 07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 00:20: 01:15:

Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Watchdog Test House Bargain Hunt BBC News at One Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country James Martin’s Food Map of Britain Flog it! Trade Secrets Pointless BBC News at Six The One Show EastEnders Holby City Shetland BBC News at Ten Insane Fight Club Swansea: Living on the Street Weatherview BBC News

Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale Coronation Street Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men The Vampire Diaries White Chicks Two and a Half Men The Vampire Diaries

11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 13:45: 14:35: 15:25: 16:15: 16:45: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20: 00:20:

06:00: 06:25: 07:15: 09:20: 09:45: 10:10: 10:35: 11:40: 12:50: 13:50: 15:50: 16:15: 16:50: 17:20: 17:55: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 02:00:

BBC News BBC World News The Daily Politics The Super League Show British Isles: A Natural History Cagney and Lacey Bergerac Are You Being Served? ’Allo, ‘Allo! Antiques Roadshow Revenge of the Egghead Sport Relief’s Top Dog Permission Impossible The Great British Sewing Bee An Hour to Save Your Life The Sarah Millican Television Programme Newsnight Mind the Gap: London v The Rest Britain’s Great War

Home to Roost Heartbeat Columbo Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Murder, She Wrote The House of Eliott Heartbeat Columbo Duty Free Home to Roost Second Thoughts The Upper Hand Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Midsomer Murders Whitechapel Law and Order: UK A is for Acid ITV3 Nightscreen

06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 22:00: 22:35: 23:35: 00:30:

06:00: 06:25: 07:05: 07:50: 08:15: 08:50: 09:50: 10:50: 11:55: 13:00: 13:55: 14:50: 15:50: 16:55: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 01:00: 01:50:

Daybreak Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Dickinson’s Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale UEFA Champions League ITV News at Ten and Weather UEFA Champions League The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Jackpot247

Tommy Cooper World’s Wildest Police Videos Black Gold Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Black Gold World’s Wildest Police Videos Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Cheers Cheers World Rally Championship Highlights Duck Dynasty Ian Wright: Nothing to Something The Silence of the Lambs Nitro Circus Minder

08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:30: 12:35: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:05: 00:10: 00:55: 01:50:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:40: 00:20: 00:50: 01:20:

The Morning Line Paralympic Winter Games Paralympic Winter Games Channel 4 News Summary Cheltenham Festival Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Paralympic Winter Games Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds The Taste Strippers Three Wives, One Husband Random Acts Cheltenham Festival Highlights Pokerstars.Com Ept Barcelona KOTV Boxing Weekly

Home Shopping World’s Most Dangerous Roads Trawlermen Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Trawlermen Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Trawlermen Trawlermen Top Gear Top Gear Flip Men Flip Men Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums Mock the Week Never Mind the Buzzcocks Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Mock the Week

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Wright Stuff Police Interceptors 5 News Lunchtime The Hotel Inspector Home and Away Neighbours NCIS McBride: Murder Past Midnight 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live Highland Emergency Police 5 Benidorm ER The Mentalist Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Body of Proof Body of Proof Super Casino

19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:25: 23:45: 00:10: 01:10: 01:40:

Snog, Marry, Avoid? Snog, Marry, Avoid? Don’t Tell the Bride Hair Pramface EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy American Dad! Hair Pramface EDL Girls: Don’t Call Me Racist

11:00: 12:45:

The Desperadoes Edge of Darkness The Ladykillers Gift Horse Big Business Deep Blue Sea Interview Special Predators The Burning Plain The Neon Bible

Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00: Barclays Premier League Review 10:00: The Footballer’s Football Show 11:00: Football Gold 11:30: SPFL Round Up 12:00: FL72 13:00: Football Gold 13:15: Football Gold 13:30: Barclays Premier League Review 14:30: The Footballer’s Football Show 15:30: FL72 16:30: Football Gold 16:45: Football Gold 17:00: SPFL Round Up 17:30: Football’s Greatest International Teams 18:00: Revista de la Liga 19:00: UEFA Champions League 22:15: Revista de la Liga 23:15: Barclays Premier League Review 00:15: Champions League Highlights

07:00: 08:00:

06:00 08:15: 08:25: 08:30: 08:35: 08:45: 09:00: 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:55: 23:55: 00:50:

06:00:

15:05: 16:55: 18:55: 20:50: 21:00: 23:10: 01:25:

Max Power Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 09:00: FL72 10:00: Super League Fulltime 11:00: Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 12:00: Max Power 13:00: Extreme Sports 13:30: Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 14:30: Football’s Greatest Teams 15:30: Football’s Greatest Teams 16:00: Champions League Highlights 16:30: Football Asia 17:00: Barclays Premier League Review 18:00: Cricket 22:00: Super League Backchat 22:30: Football’s Greatest International Teams 23:00: Premier League Poker 00:00: Cricket

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

We d n e s d ay - T V 06:00: 09:15: 10:00:

Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer 11:00: Countryside 999 11:45: Watchdog Test House 12:15: Bargain Hunt 13:00: BBC News at One 13:45: Doctors 14:15: Perfection 15:00: Escape to the Country 15:45: James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 16:15: Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15: Pointless 18:00: BBC News at Six 19:00: The One Show 20:00: Waterloo Road 21:00: Famous, Rich and Hungry 22:00: BBC News at Ten 22:35: A Question of Sport 23:05: The Michael McIntyre Chat Show 23:55: Blandings 00:30: BBC News

10:30: 11:00: 11:30: 13:00:

See Hear BBC News The Daily Politics The A to Z of TV Cooking War Walks British Isles: A Natural History Cagney and Lacey Bergerac Are You Being Served? ’Allo, ‘Allo! Antiques Roadshow Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party Revenge of the Egghead Sport Relief’s Top Dog Antiques Road Trip Collectaholics Line of Duty Inside No 9 Newsnight An Hour to Save Your Life

09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00:

07:45:

06:00: Home to Roost 06:25: Heartbeat 07:15: Columbo 09:05: Judge Judy 09:30: Judge Judy 10:00: Judge Judy 10:25: Murder, She Wrote 11:25: The House of Eliott 12:35: Heartbeat 13:35: Columbo 15:40: Duty Free 16:15: Home to Roost 16:50: Second Thoughts 17:20: The Upper Hand 17:55: Heartbeat 18:55: Murder, She Wrote 20:00: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 21:00: Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs 21:35: Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs 22:00: Wire in the Blood 23:05: Law and Order: UK 00:10: The Brides in the Bath

06:00: 06:10: 06:30:

08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:50: 23:50: 00:20: 00:50:

The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale The Cube Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Party Wright Around the World The Only Way is Essex The Big Reunion Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Fake Reaction

13:20: 13:50: 14:40: 15:25: 16:15: 16:45: 17:15: 17:55:

18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20:

15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:25:

18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:40:

07:10: 07:55: 08:25: 08:55: 09:55: 10:55: 12:00: 13:00: 13:55: 14:45: 15:50: 16:50: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 01:25:

12 M a r c h th

Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News Dickinson’s Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street You Saw Them Here First Law and Order: UK ITV News at Ten The Miners’ Strike and Me The Jonathan Ross Show

Movies Now Motorway Patrol World’s Wildest Police Videos Black Gold Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Black Gold World’s Wildest Police Videos Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Cheers Cheers The Car Chasers River Monsters Hell on Wheels Jarhead World’s Wildest Police Videos

06:00: 08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 12:35: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 00:05: 00:50:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:40: 00:20:

Inside No 9

BBC 2 - 22:00 - 22:30

rOm GOThIC hOrrOr and comedy of manners, to silent farce and psychological thriller, each week Inside no. 9 takes us into the minds of reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, and into worlds where the ordinary and mundane rub shoulders with the extraordinary and macabre. This week, we knock at our darkest door, where brother and sister Hector and Tabitha never go out and have to live in a

carefully refrigerated gothic mansion. But tonight they have an event so special that a babysitter is required. For Katy, the offer of £88 in the hand is too good to turn down. And, what could be so difficult about baby-sitting Andras, Hector and Tabitha’s bedridden, disabled, elderly brother, whose bedroom is up on the top floor of the house? Starring Reece Shearsmith as Hector and Helen McCrory as Tabitha, Aimeé-ffion Edwards as Katy, Poppy Rush as Shell and Sean Buckley as Andras.

Paralympic Winter Games The Morning Line Paralympic Winter Games Undercover Boss Canada River Cottage Veg Heroes Channel 4 News Summary Cheltenham Festival Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Paralympic Winter Games Secret Eaters Astronauts First Dates Strippers Random Acts Cheltenham Festival Highlights The Sea Inside

Home Shopping World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Flip Men Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Flip Men Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Flip Men Top Gear QI XL Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums Have I Got a Bit More News for You Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish Mock the Week Frank Skinner’s Opinionated Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00 08:20: 08:30: 08:35: 08:45: 09:00: 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:55: 00:50:

06:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 14:30: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 19:00: 22:15: 23:15: 00:15:

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Wright Stuff Police Interceptors 5 News Lunchtime The Gadget Show Home and Away Neighbours NCIS McBride: The Chameleon Murder 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live Dangerous Drivers’ School Born to Kill? NCIS Suspects CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans Champions League Highlights Barclays Premier League Review Revista de la Liga Football’s Greatest International Teams Football Asia Champions League Highlights Football’s Greatest International Teams Football Asia Football’s Greatest Teams Football’s Greatest Teams Champions League Highlights Football’s Greatest International Teams Football Asia Boots ‘n’ All Football What’s the Story? Cricket Champions League

19:00: Total Wipeout 20:00: Free Speech 21:00: Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 22:00: Ja’mie: Private School Girl 22:30: Bad Education 23:00: Family Guy 23:45: American Dad! 00:30: Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 01:30: Ja’mie: Private School Girl 02:00: Free Speech

11:00: 13:20: 15:00: 16:50: 18:55:

Heavens Above! Gaslight Bless This House Funny Face Clueless Alicia Silverstone plays Cher Horowitz who, thanks to her rich lawyer daddy, has it all. 21:00: Die Hard 4.0 23:30: The Deep Blue Sea 01:25: Good Luck Chuck

06:00: Revista de la Liga 07:00: Cricket 08:00: Revista de la Liga 09:00: Max Power 10:00: Indian Wells Tennis 11:00: Cricket 12:00: Sports Unlimited 13:00: Ashes Modern Classics 13:30: Cricket 14:30: Indian Wells Tennis 15:30: Ashes Modern Classics 16:00: Cricket 20:00: Boots ‘n’ All 21:00: Total Rugby 21:30: Inside the PGA Tour A look behind the scenes of the USPGA Tour. Follow the world’s best players, including Luke Donald, Lee Westwood and Rory McIlroy, as they prepare for the big events in 2014. 22:00: Boots ‘n’ All 23:00: Max Power 00:00: Boots ‘n’ All 01:00: Max Power 02:00: In Cycle

Editor Recommends

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Thursday - TV

06:00: 09:15: 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:15: 17:15: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:25: 22:35: 23:35: 00:20: 00:25:

07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:50: 23:15: 00:10: 00:40:

Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Countryside 999 Watchdog Test House Bargain Hunt BBC News at One Doctors Perfection Escape to the Country James Martin’s Food Map of Britain Flog it! Trade Secrets Pointless BBC News at Six The One Show EastEnders Holiday Hit Squad Famous, Rich and Hungry BBC London News Question Time This Week Skiing Weatherview BBC News

08:20: Wanted Down Under 09:05: Bible Hunters 10:05: An Island Parish 10:35: HARDtalk 11:00: BBC News 11:30: BBC World News 12:00: The Daily Politics 13:00: The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:20: War Walks 13:50: British Isles: A Natural History 14:40: Cagney and Lacey 15:25: Bergerac 16:15: Are You Being Served? 16:45: ’Allo, ‘Allo! 17:15: Antiques Roadshow 18:00: Revenge of the Egghead 18:30: Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00: Antiques Road Trip 20:00: The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure 21:00: My Week with Marilyn 22:30: Newsnight 23:20: The Restaurant Man 00:20: Panorama 00:50: This is BBC Two

The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of New Jersey The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men The Big Reunion Celebrity Juice Dads Mom Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men

06:00: 06:25: 07:15: 09:15: 09:40: 10:05: 10:30: 11:35: 12:45: 13:45: 15:20: 16:20: 16:55: 17:20: 17:55: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00:

Home to Roost Heartbeat Columbo Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Murder, She Wrote The House of Eliott Heartbeat Columbo Murder, She Wrote Home to Roost Second Thoughts The Upper Hand Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Lewis Wire in the Blood Beth’s murder has left Amanda Vance close to a breakdown, but offers new clues and new hope for Tony and Carol. But will it help them quickly enough to save another missing girl who looks similar to the other victims? 23:05: Law and Order: UK 00:05: Rising Damp

06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:15: 18:45: 19:45: 22:10: 22:45: 23:45: 00:45:

13 M a r c h th

Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Dickinson’s Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale UEFA Europa League ITV News at Ten and Weather Edge of Heaven The Cube Jackpot247

06:00: 06:20: 07:05: 07:55: 08:25: 08:55: 10:00: 11:00: 12:05: 13:10: 14:05: 14:55: 16:00: 17:00: 17:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 23:35:

UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals World’s Wildest Police Videos Black Gold Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. The New Avengers Minder Black Gold World’s Wildest Police Videos Kojak Magnum, P.I. Police, Camera, Action! UEFA Europa League Live Storage Wars Storage Wars The Interpreter Cape Fear

Simple

Well Targeted Advertising

really Works!

06:00: 08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:30: 12:35: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:05: 00:05: 00:50: 00:55:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:40: 23:40: 00:40: 01:35:

Paralympic Winter Games The Morning Line Paralympic Winter Games Paralympic Winter Games Channel 4 News Summary Cheltenham Festival Four in a Bed Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Paralympic Winter Games The Hoarder Next Door Astronauts How to be a Billionaire Arkle: The Legend Lives on Cheltenham Festival Highlights Random Acts One Born Every Minute

Home Shopping World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear World’s Most Dangerous Roads Man v Food Man v Food Top Gear Top Gear Motorway Cops QI XL Suits Mock the Week Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums QI XL Suits Mock the Week

06:00 08:25: 08:35: 08:45: 09:00: 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 22:30: 23:30: 00:30: 00:45: 01:00:

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Wright Stuff Police Interceptors 5 News Lunchtime Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! Home and Away Neighbours NCIS Cinderella Pact 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live The Truth About Travellers It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief The Hotel Inspector Botched Up Bodies Extraordinary People Super Casino

19:00:

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Champions League Highlights What’s the Story? Champions League Highlights What’s the Story? Champions League Highlights What’s the Story? Indian Wells Tennis What’s the Story? FL72 Ringside Premier League Darts Ringside The Rugby Club Darts Gold Darts Gold Premier League Darts

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00:

20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:25: 23:45: 00:10: 00:30: 01:00: 02:00:

11:00: 12:50: 14:35: 17:00: 18:40: 21:00: 22:50:

01:15:

10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 14:30: 15:00: 15:30: 16:30: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:30: 23:45: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

Don’t Tell the Bride Hair Junior Paramedics Bluestone 42 EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy American Dad! American Dad! Bluestone 42 Junior Paramedics Hair

O’Horten Dragoon Wells Massacre Air Force Bad Day at Black Rock Chocolat Bad Teacher Bullhead Michael R Roskam’s Oscar-nominated Belgian crime thriller starring Matthias Schoenaerts. Breathless

Cricket Boots ‘n’ All Cricket Super League Fulltime Boots ‘n’ All Cricket Cricket Cricket Ashes Modern Classics Lara Masterclass Lara Masterclass Cricket Lara Masterclass Lara Masterclass Ashes Modern Classics Cricket FL72 Barclays Premier League World Football Gold Football Gold Cricket The Rugby Club Cricket

Get your business noticed with an advert in Tenerife´s Biggest and most Popular Weekly Newspaper

8000 Copies Printed Weekly Call: 627 686 830

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Consultancy

Upright Fridge/Freezer

Don't have the right paperwork? Don't speak Spanish? Don't know where to turn? Don't worry! Call 647 057 599 or email help@diana-mcglone.com

White in good condition...

922 867 478

922 742 257

85 €

www.tenebay.com

Golf Club Set

Electric hair curlers

handbags etc

We have 2 full sets of golf clubs Wilson deep red for sale. Each sold separately. We will include Balls, Tees New unused mixed, and a new glove. (Subject t...

18 electric heated hair curlers, Andrew Barton I love Volume , Used only once. €10 Tel mobile ...

Top left-black leather bag with matching purse-25E Top centre-black leather bum bag-10E Top right-black buckle bag-6E Bottom left-blue leather bag-15...

652293538

250 € 922716526

10 € 922 794 409

6€

Beige Bedspread

Samsung galaxy trend

2 single top covers

table and 6 chairs

Wall lights

Lovely beige bedspread with white flowers, new , bought from Textile Sur but the wrong colour for my bedroom, it cost €42 but selling for €10 Tel ...

Excellent condition just getting contract phone so not needed .. cost 150 euro, will take 100 ono ..complete with box, usb and charger .. is unlocked to al...

2 made to measure (de-luxe) single top covers specifically made for the type of bed shown (i.e. with wrought iron at the bottom) - just slightly darker tha...

Large cane glass top table and 6 chairs. 66in (170cm) long, 42in (105cm) broad, 29in (73cm) High. Can be used inside or outside. 50 euros o.n.o. Requires a...

3 wall fitted lights ideal for bedroom reading light...

922716526

603228708

922 794 409

922 724 656

603 256 420

10 €

100 €

40 €

50 €

10 €

Facebook.com/TenebayCanarias shelf for books

wooden shelf self-designed in shape...

for books, very good

922 102723

148 €

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Deluxe folding Sunbed

External 3TB Hard Drive

5 books

Chevrolet astro

Fully Adjustable Back and Leg rest on wheels for easy movement complete with mattress, folds for winter storage very good condition...

Brand new in original packing. Buffalo Drive station 3 Tb external Hard Drive. USB2 interface. All cables and power adapter supplied in box. Totaly Plug...

5 books - 9E - excellent condition Los Cristianos pick up...

Chevrolet astro starcraft day van 7 seat leather rear seat goes into bed, tv,dvd mood lighting, blinds.V6 4.3 ltr automatic petrol engine.UK registered ...

922 742 257

922370328

922 794 409

922 782 357

95 €

MacLaren XT Buggy/Pram

Callaway Woods

MacLaren XT Buggy Push Chair...

105 €

9€

2,250 €

Rustic Sideboard

TO SELL ( call 637581392

Dining Table & Chairs

RH Callaway Diablo Driver (10D) & 3 Wood (15N). Only a few rounds played. Excellent condition....

lenght 163cm depth 50cm height 80cm Reluctant sale due to downsizing, very good condition...

Lovely Dúplex with extraordinary sea views , 3 bethrooms abd 2 bathrooms , spacious balconies and living room , plenty of natural light , comunitary pool ...

A beautiful Dining table with 6 chairs. The suite is all wood. The table has an excellent varnish finish with bevelled edges. The table in its closed up...

+44 771 467 39 € 1776 Golf trolley (folding)

630 976 208

2,500 € 922 742 257 95 € 637 581 392 Wardrobe Door/Mirrors 'George' nightie

Amarilla Golf: Golf cart light weight in good condition. If you´re interested, please send mail, I´ll be back in March....

White Reeboks-20E - 5 1/2/38 1/2, Aubergine Lilley & Skinner pumps-6E - 5/38, Black Miss Fiori pumps-6E - 5/38, Silver buckle pumps-6E - 6/39, Black/white ...

922738790

265 €

shoes etc

20 € 922 794 409

5€

689 008 644

450 €

Golf set right handed

In good condition 10 wardrobe door mirrors 50X196. 30euros each or 250euros for the lot. Phone ...

George nightie - brown - 12/14 new (no tag) - 10E Los Cristianos pick up...

Amarilla Golf: Golf set right handed in good condition. If you´re interested please send mail, I´ll be back in March....

922 725 059

922 794 409

922738790

300 €

baby cot

10 €

Scalextric montecarlo

Bamboo Chair and Table

Scalextric montecarlo classics set with separate snow track extension pack, hardy used....

Set of Bamboo Chair and Table in good conditions....

baby cot in good condition....

Lipsy animal print shift dress, never worn, immaculate condition, as new, collection from Amarilla Golf or can deliver , contact for delivery charge...

Panasonic cordless phone, two handsets, full instructions in original box , like new....

REF: 3567

677126506

922753808

REF: 3594

674 948 505

170 € table

elegant hall table ...

605 740 410

50 €

Lipsy Dress Sz18

80 €

20 €

25 €

Panasonic twin phone

35 €

2 single bed heads

UK Keyboard

shawl

Natural Pain Relief

2 solid wood single bed heads. In good condition. Torviscas Alto....

Brand new in original box,standard uk layout, Keyboard and optical mouse. USB connections, PS2 adapters available if needed (€ 2.50 each)....

this is a blue shawl hand knitted also have the same in lemon ...

Natural Pain Relief Using Reflex Cyclo Therapy Massage, The Bio Therapy Machine Brings relief of pain by stimulating Blood Circulation, and helps to improv...

690 375 706

922370328

120 €

13 € 922 725 059

12 € 922725692

30 €

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Light Set - Rustic Style

CAR FOR SALE

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

Local Markets

office

Rustic style lighting set (used) comprising of a 3 lamp suspended center fitting and two complimenting single lamp wall fittings. The center fitting is s...

NOV 2004 RENAULT CLIO 1.6 16 VALVE PAS/C/C E/W RADIO/CASSETTE I.T.V. SEPT 2015 TEL: EMAIL ...

nice wooden office ( Ikea) in good condition...

689 008 644

922 729 450

922 102723

50 €

3,200 €

78 €

Personal Vibration Machine Brand new in boxes, your own personal weight loss vibration machine. I have 14, will sell individually or make an offer for the lot.

Contact: 603 194 568

CONTACTS

Donna M.-Sexy

I attend to open minded loving couples French positions

Many special services including foot fetish and domination (Call for more details)

Near the South airport - San Isidro area. private and discreet apartment.

Call 642 464 065 for my address

ALEJANDRA - Los cRistiANos Sexy, beautiful, Latina. French natural, all kinds of positions, kisses, vibrators, Erotic Massage. I am in front of the Hotel Aguamar in Los Cristianos. Available 24 hrs A Day. I Can Also Come To Meet You...

call: (+34) 650 442 665

YENI LOS CRISTIANOS AVAILABLE 24 HRS

8000 Copies

Printed Weekly Call: 627 686 830 CORAL - COSTA RICAN

CIELO - COLUMBIAN

I Can Also Come To Meet You... Call: (+34) 660 938 631

Renata

patricia, Venezuelan,

I am very willing to please, I offer Natural French, Positions, Relaxing Massages and Kisses.

You will enjoy everything to the maximum with me. You will not regret it.

I Can Also Come To Meet You... Call: (+34) 672 955 326

Torviscas

7:00 pm to 10:00 pm

Tuesday

Los Abrigos

5:00 pm to 9:00 pm

Wednesday Playa San Juan

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

Thursday

Fañabé

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

Friday

Golf del Sur

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

Friday

San Isidro

5:00 pm to 9:00 pm

Saturday

Fañabé

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

Saturday

El Médano

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

Sunday Los Cristianos CLEANING

9:00 am to 2:00 pm

ELITE CLEANING SERVICES Club Atlantis, San Eugenio Office 922 789 795 / Mobile 696 922 597 E-mail - elitetenerife@hotmail.com

Tired of arriving to a dusty, dirty home??? Need someone to take the hassle out of your cleaning … … W EL L H ERE W E A RE ! !

Cleaning services to suit your individual needs. Apartments, villas, offices & housekeeping. Our specialist organisation can give you peace of mind that your property is well maintained and cleaned to the high standard you expect.

AIR CONDITIONING & ELECTRICAL Established in Tenerife since 1991 Parque de la Reina. El Cho. Arona 38620

- New Installations - Bar Equipment Repairs - Refrigeration - Cooker Repairs - Water Heaters www.elecreptenerife.com

Adam: 639 361 181 Mark: 608 646 706

Tel: 922 797 699

C a l l : ( + 3 4 ) 6 1 0 6 0 9 0 86

I am waiting to meet you at Ave. Los Sabandeños behind the BP Station in Los Cristianos.

I am waiting to meet you at Ave. Los Sabandeños behind the BP Station in Los Cristianos. (24 hour service)

Monday

I am waiting to meet you at Ave. Los Sabandeños behind the BP Station in Los Cristianos. I Can Also Come To Meet You...

I am waiting to meet you at Ave. Los Sabandeños behind the BP Station in Los Cristianos.

- Sexy Mulato -

9:00 am to 4:00 pm

I am a sexy, pretty Costa Rican, girl, I lovingly perform sensory massage, with sea salts, mud and hot oil. Then a good natural French until the final penetration.

I am very willing to please, I offer Natural French, Positions, Relaxing Massages and Kisses.

Call: (+34) 610 359 991

Alcalá

AIR CONDITIONING & ELECTRICAL

Venezuelan, Pretty, Hot, Nice Body, Large Natural Breasts, I Can Offer All Services.

I Can Also Come To Meet You...

Monday

Sexy Blonde.

I am waiting to meet you at Ave. Los Sabandeños behind the BP Station in Los Cristianos.

I Can Also Come To Meet You... Call: 610 127 223

WASHING MACHINE REPAIRS

WASHING MACHINE REPAIR All Makes & Models We have reconditioned washing machines for sale

Call now on 635 911 337

THE SPIN DOCTOR REPAIRS TO ALL WASHING MACHINES, DISHWASHERS, TUMBLE DRYERS, COOKERS, FRIDGES & WATER HEATERS.

GENERAL ELECTRICAL & PLUMBING HANDYMAN

Call Johnny on: 634 321 583

www.tenerife-weekly.com

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

ACCOMMODATION

C LA S S I F I E D A DV E RT S C A L L - 6 2 7 6 8 6 8 3 0 REMOVALS

HOME & GARDEN

Colin Peel - Tiling Specialist For All Your Tiling Needs HEALTH, BEAUTY & FITNESS

www.A1Supplements.biz Premium Health Supplements at Affordable Prices Weight Loss - Health & Well-being - Body Building Weight Gain - Strength & Energy

Lowest Prices Guaranteed - All Products Manufactured to ISO 9001 -

Next day delivery (free on orders over 60 euros)

Tel: 822 901 384 - Email: info@A1Supplements.biz

8000 Copies

Printed Weekly Call: 627 686 830

Bathrooms, Kitchens, Floors etc. All Building Works And Refurbisments Undertaken Free No Obligation Quotations

Tel: 679 736 409

WELDER Tony Rippon Contact Tony on: 609 69 19 37

Fully Legal Based in Tenerife for 25 years

Security Grills, Bar Fittings, Ornamental Gates

Simple Well Targeted Advertising really Works! Get your business noticed with an advert in Tenerife´s Biggest and most Popular Weekly Newspaper

8000 Copies Printed Weekly Call: 627 686 830

PROTECT YOUR HOME TODAY

TELEVISION

All Fabrication Work Undertaken

RED TOMATO ( 649 200 774

CARD LS A RENEW

Satellite & CCTV Installation Computer, Mobile Phone & Electronic Repairs

Helping Hands Holistic Swedish Massage

Helping Hands offers professional Swedish Massage and other treatments in Los Cristianos. Perfect for sore muscles and stressed heads!

Treatments Include:

See more on the website—details located below.

IPTV

Kitchen

No Dish required!

For Sale

Watch all UK TV!

Six Low and Seven High Cabinets Bar, Worktop Stainless Steel Sink/Mixer All-built-in Oven, Ceramic Hob, Extractor, Fridge/ Freezer

EXCELLENT CONDITION - €1,100

Tel: 678 195 705

CAR MAINTENANCE & SALES

Swedish Massage....................... 30 min

1 hour

2 hours

20 €

35 €

65 €

IPTV for 3pm Football for bars or home installation

Cleansing, toning, exfoliating and skin tightening mask with Aloe products. Plus a relaxing massage.

A relaxing foot soak followed by an exfoliating massage with an all natural brown sugar scrub.

Location: Enhance Fitness Reveron Apartments Los Cristianos

Connect at ‘Helping Hands Massage Tenerife’

Imagine 400 FREE minutes every month to call a UK mobile or land line! Pay as you go. 10 euros per month (tax included). 400 mins FREE calls per month, national or international* to a land line or mobile phone. *Call Red Tomato for more info on which countries are included in the offer. ADSL LINES

from BT 16.95ϵ monthly LAND LINES from BT

13.95ϵ monthly

sales@redtomatoonline.com www.redtomatoonline.com

‘Forever Living’ Facial…………..........20€

Contact Rachel: (+34) 603-192-945 rachel@hhmassagetenerife.com www.hhmassagetenerife.com

More than 60 channels

IPTV Video Club

Exfoliating Foot Massage……….........20€

DIGI MoBILE oFFER

CARS - RENT TO BUY Long Term Rental From Just € 230 per month Insurance and maintenance Included No Finance Necessary TEL: 922 738 410

PAY AS YOU GO INTERNET & WIFI HOTSPOTS FIND THE woRKSHoP:

Pebble Beach Village Amarilla Golf Mon - Fri 10am - 1pm 50ϵ OFF IPTV WITH THIS ADVERT

Simple Well Targeted Advertising really Works!

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

pISTORIUS BLAMed fOR ReSTAURANT ShOOTINg

n dAY ThrEE of the Oscar Pistorius trial. A witness at the murder trial of Oscar Pistorius has said the South African athlete was responsible for a weapon being fired at a restaurant last year. Boxer Kevin Lerena told the court that The 27-year-old double amputee had asked the owner of the gun to take the blame. The incident happened the month

before Mr Pistorius shot dead his 29-yearold girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, he denies intentionally killing her, saying he mistook her for an intruder and of illegally possessing ammunition. Steenkamp, a model and reality TV star, was shot dead in the early hours of Valentine’s Day last year at Mr Pistorius’s home in the capital, Pretoria. The arrest of a national sporting hero, who won gold at the London 2012 Paralympic Games and also competed at

the Olympics, astounded South Africa. Mr Lerena testified that he had been to Tasha’s Restaurant in Johannesburg with Mr Pistorius and two other people, including Darren Fresco, in January 2013. Mr Fresco had passed his firearm to Mr Pistorius and said “I’m one up”, meaning there was a bullet in the chamber of the gun, Mr Lerena said. When the firearm was handed over, there was a shot followed by “complete silence”, the boxer added.

“I looked down, and where my foot was there was a hole in the floor,” he told the court. “I had a little graze on my toe, but I wasn’t hurt.” Mr Pistorius had apologised and asked Mr. Fresco to take the blame, which he had agreed to do, Mr Lerena said. “Please, I don’t want any attention around me. Just say it was you,” he pleaded, according to Mr Lerena.

McIlroy’s florida disappointment

OrThErn IrElAnd’S rory mcIlroy lost in a play-off at the honda Classic in Florida when he let slip a two-shot lead and while world number one Tiger Woods withdrew due to injury. Woods was forced to withdraw on the 13th hole because of back pain. he had hit a five-under-par 65 on Saturday to move into contention but was five over in his final round when he quit. his withdrawal comes six weeks before the mas-

ters at Augusta - the first major of 2014 - which takes place from 1013 April. Woods, 38, said:

“It’s my lower back with spasms, it started while I was warming up. It’s going to be hard to get over because I had a great chance to win my first tournament of the season and I didn’t.” McIlroy, carded a four-over-par 74, but missed a 12-foot eagle putt at the last to win outright. He admitted he was fortunate to have reached the play-off after dropping six shots in 11 holes from the seventh, including a double-bogey six on the par-four 16th where he hit his ball out of a bunker and into water. He followed that with

another bogey on the 17th, which left him needing a birdie on the last to get into the play-off at eight under. The 24-year-old gave himself a chance of victory though with a stunning second shot on the par-five hole that finished 12 feet from the hole but he was unable to hole the eagle putt that would have won him the title. McIlroy said later: “I didn’t play well enough to deserve to win, it’s very disappointing. It was a perfect opportunity to win. No one was really coming at me. There’s a few positives to take, but obviously it’s going to be hard to get over because I had a great chance to win my first tournament of the season and I

didn’t.” American Russell Henley won a play-off, which also featured compatriot Ryan Palmer and Scotland’s Russell Knox, with a birdie at the first extra hole. Henley, who qualified for the Masters, won at the first extra hole with a two-foot birdie putt. Henley who won his first PGA Tour title at last year’s Sony Open in Hawaii said: “I was so nervous coming down the stretch, I hope I can have a bunch more Sundays just like that in my career. It was a rush to be out there playing with Rory and the crowd. I’ve never been part of a crowd so big cheering for me. It was an amazing feeling. It was so much fun.”

www.tenerife-weekly.com

53 Formula 1 Grand Prix To Be Pay-Per-View From 2016 F Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

ORMULA 1 Grand Prix fans with ‘mainstream’ Spanish television via TDT will have to pay to watch races from 2016 onwards.

Satellite digital provider Movístar TV, which is part of the telecommunications company Telefónica and offers its television services as a package along with internet, landline telephone and mobile phone networks, has acquired the rights to broadcast Formula 1 for this year through to 2017 inclusive, possibly longer if the deal is renewed. Telefónica has just signed the broadcasting agreement with Formula One Management. This year and next – 2015 – Movístar TV will not have the exclusive broadcasting rights, since these will be shared with A Tres Media which will continue to show the races free of charge for the next two seasons. After that, only pay-per-view customers will be able to watch the Grand

Deceased Coach Gets Avenue Named After Him

he avenue giving way to Atletico Madrid’s new stadium will be named after former Spain coach and club figure Luis Aragones, who died this month. Aragones enjoyed a successful playing career at Atletico, a club which he also coached on five occasions. The Spanish league club is expected to

move away from the Vicente Calderon by the 2016-17 season. Madrid Mayor Ana Botella made the announcement as the team visited La Peneita, the Olympic stadium site. Aragones led Spain to victory in the 2008 European Championship, a breakthrough success as it went on to win the World Cup and successfully defend its European crown in 2012. Aragones died at the age of 75 following a battle with leukemia.

Prix on Sundays. This follows on from MotoGP, for which Movístar TV has the broadcasting rights, but in the case of the mo-

torcycling Grand Prix races, these are shared with Mediaset and can be watched without paying. Mediaset will broadcast

nine MotoGP races live and the remaining 10 after the event, whilst Telefónica will broadcast all 19 of them live, but on a pay-per-view basis.

La Liga To Tweet Game Highlights

ideo clips from La Liga will be available via Twitter after the league struck an agreement with the social network and rights holder Mediapro.

Using Twitter’s Amplify tool, which launched in May 2013 and enables users to attach videos to tweets in real time, the Liga de Fútbol Profesional

(LFP) will make highlights of every game available to users around the world as they occur, making La Liga the first European league to take advantage of service, following in the footsteps of American major leagues such as the NBA, NFL and MLB. Spain’s top soccer competition has launched a new Twitter handle called @LaLiga to replace its old @LFPNews account. The new channel will

broadcast audio and video content, including goals and player interviews, before, during and after each game. LFP president Javier Tebas said: “The agreement will allow us to more effectively achieve one of the priorities that we have set for La Liga. The globalisation of the Liga BBVA, the best league in the world, now is the best in the social network world.”

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

tHe sPorts sCene By Colin Kirby

BACK TO fOURTh SpOT fOR Cd MARINO

T’S A rIGhT old dog fight in the Tercera division as the top four sides in section 12 jockey for supremacy. Cd marino’s four game winning run came to an end at lanzarote with a 1-0 defeat on Saturday.

ers Granadilla. This Sunday it’s back to home action as Marino try to put some space between them and

fifth placed Villa Santa Brigada in Las Americas at noon, entry is 8 euros and kids get in free.

A draw would have been a good result away from home but the home side struck in the 85 th minute through Angel. They still had time to hit back, especially when the ref added on six minutes of injury time, Airam came so close to levelling from a last gasp corner. Mensajero were the only team in the top four to win, their victory came over lead-

Limber Up for Las galletas And La Laguna Y es I know it’s getting hot and none of us are getting any younger but the las Galletas half marathon makes a 9 am start on Sunday 6 April and has a range of age categories from 18 to 65 plus.. If you are quick out of the blocks you can save money by en-

tering before 23 march.

There are two distances, 10.8 kms and 21 kms, both will use the same course starting from La Rambla near the marina and passing through El Fraile, Guargacho, Ten Bel, and back round to the start point. The early sign up rates are for the 10.8 kms 13 euros and 21 kms 18 euros, after that they rise to 20 and 25 euros. The cost includes a commemorative t-shirt and an electronic chip to record your time, there are also cash prizes including 60 euros for the winners of each veteran category, that’s over 35 years old, and between 100 and 750 euros for the top 10 men and women overall. To enter go to www.mediomaratonlasgalletas.com or the Pabellon Deportes Los Cristianos (near the outdoor swimming pool) on 922792916. The day before, Saturday 5 April, there is a Sports Fair in Las Galletas from 10 am to 8 pm with lots of fun events and stalls for all the family. If you want to run under the full moon then La Laguna is the place for you on Saturday 15 March when the Carrera de Luna Llena takes place. This is over 5kms and 10 kms around the historic city and entry is 9 euros. The organizers have just extended the amount of places as the initial 500 were filled quickly, they are now aiming for up to 1,000 runners. You can sign up at any Base Deportes Natalia sports shop or at www.runnering.com

No Stage fright After greek drama

week is a long time in basketball, Iberostar Tenerife had to negotiate choppy waters but emerged with renewed hope. They had to release new Greek pivot lazaros Papadopolous after just one game, his leg injuries and general fitness problems meant the veteran couldn’t be relied upon in the ACB league. That left them short for the trip to real madrid but

despite everything they played better before going down 87-76.

At the halfway stage Tenerife were just a point adrift and they overcame that with a 13-19 third quarter before the home side powered to a 33-17 final segment. As always the former La Laguna player Sergio Rodriguez was a big hitter for Madrid with 22 points but Tenerife had a hero in Argentinian Juan Gutierrez who shared top billing with Saul Blanco on 15 points. There was even a senior debut for Senegal youngster

Mamadou “Petit” Niang who gained 30 seconds of experience. The 20 year old was spotted playing locally for RC Nautico in the EBA League. The search is on again for a new pivot to fill the huge boots of Blagota Sekulic who went to play in Turkey. Othello Hunter who played for Valladolid last season is one solution or Mirza Begic just released from Olimpiakos could get the call. This Saturday Tenerife will be looking to home form to lift them from 13th place if they can beat Estudiantes, the game starts at 7pm.

55 CD Tenerife Class Of 2014 Pass Another Exam

www.tenerife-weekly.com

ea d m aste r Alvaro Cervera must be mighty proud of his CD Tenerife squad, just like last season the coach has seen his class grow in stature, this 2-2 draw at Real Madrid Castilla again showed resilience and skill.

Even great international coaches have floundered when trying to rotate their squad but Cervera has them all hungry for a place, Inigo Ros for Aitor Sanz was a surprise but maybe a warning that Sanz needs to cut down on his bookings. More like a wet night in Wigan than a trip to the capital, the players were greeted with driving rain and enough wind to knock your wig off. That was soon forgotten as Loro launched a corner from the right and Aridane imposed himself on his markers to head a strong goal after just six minutes. Ayoze Diaz, back after an 11 year gap, looked comfortable at left back as pocket powerhouse Raul Camara re-

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

verted to the right for the suspended Moyano. Edgar continued to impress on the left wing and Ayoze Perez had a couple of good chances, the first blocked by group defending and the other set up by Edgar was chipped a little short. Ricardo went close early in the second half but a mistake by Roberto let Castilla back in. Aguza let rip with a long drive and Roberto was slow to get across and the ball beat him at the post. The spirit was good, no arguing just back down to work, Edgar limped off as Cristo arrived and Suso was not far behind to take the place of Loro. Suso got a stupid booking but it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t soften his impact, that right wing was his and he set about torturing the defence. Ricardo could have restored the lead from a free kick but his shot was overcooked. Castilla were a good side, their lowly position is misleading and they came again and found the Tenerife defence wanting, Camara in particular, and De Tomas scored with 20 minutes left. Tenerife sensed there was plenty left in this game and pushed forward, Suso fired

at the keeper after wriggling free of his markers and Cristo curled a shot wide. The equalizer was worth the wait, Aridane showed great awareness and control to flick the ball onto Ayoze Perez, his little legs went into overdrive and left a couple of defenders behind before a calm finish. The look skywards dedicated the goal to his Gran who died in the week. Castilla were still a danger, Burgui powered in a shot but Roberto responded well to tip it over the bar, Jaime was an inch away in the last minute but Tenerife deserved a point for their sheer determination. This Sunday Recreativo visit Santa Cruz for a 5pm game, Suso and Carlos Ruiz sit it out suspended but the coach will have weighed up several worthy replacements, if Alberto takes the central defence role the team could start with nine Canarians. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the last day of Santa Cruz Carnaval so hopefully we will see men in dresses and cartoon characters bouncing with joy at the final whistle.

Goalie School Is In Safe Hands T he last line of defence and often the first target for blame, goalkeepers are a special breed, thankfully they have always been well looked after in Tenerife by a dedicated goalie school, Escuela Insular de Porteros.

The last few months have been worrying times for the school but their three centres in La Laguna, La Orotava, and Adeje have been saved thanks to

renewed backing from the Tenerife government and the councils of each of those municipalities. That means they can go on nurturing talented boys and girls between the ages of 10 and 18, they give them a full programme of help from playing to tactics and even psychology. CD Tenerife are now reaping the rewards of developing local shot stoppers, senior team number one Roberto, has grabbed the gloves this season and reserve keeper Nauzet, currently injured,

is seen as one of the finest prospects at the club. It helps having a former staff member of the school on the CD Tenerife back room team. Zeben Ortiz had 15 years working for the school, club physio Guillermo Rodriguez and second trainer Roberto Perera had both worked with him in the past and recommended him when coach Alvaro Cervera wanted a specialist goalkeeping coach on the books. Earlier this week B team keeper Carlos was invited along to train with the seniors.

Tenerife Weekly - 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly

QUICK CROSSwORd

ACROSS

1. Admonish severely, ... the Riot Act 7. Small whirlpool 10. Aptness (for job) 11. Blend by melting 12. On an occasion 13. Woes 15. Salad fish

DOWN 1. Soldier’s weapon 2. Delegates 3. Contest of honour 4. Cash points (1,1,2) 5. Corpulent 6. Story line 7. Prince Harry’s

Av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De Las Americas Arona ( In Front Of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

vivo.11984

17. Meringue ingredient 18. Guys 20. Piece of turf 21. Collar (crook) 23...., drink & be merry 25. Quiet! 26. Shut 28. Auld Lang ... 30. Resounding noise

31. Mischievous kids 32. Brass instrument 34. Goodbye 35. Alleviate 37. Contribute 39. Flavour enhancer 1,1,1) 40. Humorous ambiguity

41. Infant’s bed 43. Due time (1,1,1) 45. Maintain 48. Motorway fee 50. Single article 51. Scream 52. Chief troublemakers 53. The R of RIP 54. Catch sight of

school 8. Ruling family 9. Succumb 14. Research room 16. Function 18. Tuneful 19. Most inquisitive 22. To the fore 24. Donkeys

25. Clout 26. Chinese lunch, yum ... 27. Flightless bird 29. Potato bud 33. Financiers 36. Forever young 38. Snuff it 39. Cow sound

40. Previous 42. Desert waterholes 44. Metallic mixture 46. Radiate 47. Pet rodents, guinea ... 48. Sea phase, high... 49. Ancient harp

Answers to the QUICK CROSSWORD are on page 2