Tenerife Weekly Issue 26 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly Hap p East y er

Bogus Doctor Arrested In Callao Salvaje TENERIFE’S LOCAL FREE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

National Police from the Drugs and Organized Crime Unit (Udyco) have arrested a 39-year-old Italian on suspicion of falsification of documents, posing as a qualified doctor, and injury. The detention was the result of several denuncias made by women who had been attended by Daniele S.T., who operated from the International Beauty Life Tenerife Clinic in Calle la Lava, Callao Salvaje, and where it seems he gave consultations on plastic surgery and facial laser treatment. It appears that this supposed doctor did not have the qualifications for these procedures and the National Police found no record of him in the Colegio Oficial de Médicos de Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Moreover, there also seems to be no registration in the Italian Medical College, The Federazione Nazionale Ordina Medici Chiruhi e Odontoiatri. Police apparently checked a number in that College, but it corresponded to a Francesco Taddei, an anaesthetist from Parma. On the 20th March work inspectors went to the clinic, the second time in the last four months, and asked for his medical documentation. Police studied the paperwork supplied, which included a diploma from Trinity Institute of Christian Counselling. The International Beauty Life Clinic offered more than just plastic surgery and facial laser treatment; with general medicine and nursing treatment also available. The Clinic recently held a party to celebrate its first anniversary. Its website says they have 1,200 clients. Future projects were to include another centre in Adeje and in north Tenerife, as well as a “hospital and geriatric centre” of some 18,000 square metres near El Médano.

Continued on page 3

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6th April - 12th April 2012

Issue 26

Massive Exodus for Easter Getaway

Tens of thousands of holidaymakers are jetting abroad from Manchester this Easter – leaving petrol panic and barmy weather at home. Airport bosses say 260,000 holidaymakers will pass through the terminals over the extended weekend – with Tenerife, Dubai and Orlando among the favoured hotspots. It comes amid warnings from airlines that British airports ‘risk gridlock’

over the holidays due to shortages of border staff Annual passenger numbers have leaped to over 19 million for the first time since the recession and the airport says it has high hopes for a busy summer season. Andrew Harrison, Manchester airport’s chief operating officer, said: “We enter our traditional busiest period with lots of optimism and a belief that we can carry even more passen-

gers to the destinations they require. The holiday exodus had begun just after winter returned with a vengeance and the region was hit by 40mph winds and icy blizzards. Many who would have hit the roads over Easter are expected to stay at home – with the threat of a fuel tanker strike still looming. Petrol shortages are set to continue, with some garages facing a struggle to restock over the holidays.

Serious Car Crash on TF1

A serious car crash involving two vehicles has occurred on the southern stretch of the TF1 motorway. The incident happened at 13:07 on Thursday (5th April) on the southbound

carriageway at the 68 kilometre marker, in Arona. Two people, both aged 27, are said to have been wounded to varying degrees. The collision caused one of the vehicles to overturn. The Emergency Depart-

ment staff Canario (SUC) treated a woman at the scene, who was suffering from a chest trauma. A man with a mild cervical strain was also treated. Both were taken to South Hospitén. Unconfirmed reports state that there was at least

one fatality, though this was not verified at the time of going to press. Following the accident, the Road Maintenance Service and Guardía Civil were on site to regulate traffic flow, which tailed back some miles in both directions.

Coast FM 106.6 South, 92.2 West, 89.4 North

CONTENTS

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 editorial & legal

3 11 12 14 16 19 34 35 36 37 39

LOCAL NEWS BUSINESS NEWS WORLD NEWS IRISH NEWS NATIONAL NEWS TV GUIDE TIME OUT SHOWBIZ OUT ON THE TOWN SHARPLES IN SESSION COMMUNITY

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40 HEALTH/BEAUTY/FASHION 42 WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE? 43 CALDERS CONFESSIONS 44 PHYCHE/HOROSCOPES PETS’ PAGE 45 47 GARDENING/LOCAL INFO FOOD 48 TECHNOPHILE 49 CLASSIFIED SECTION 50 52 MOTORING/DIY SPORT 54

Editorial

Hello readers, This week has seen a real brouhaha surrounding the revelation about the bogus doctor practising in Adeje. I have a couple of friends who have had consultations with the “doctor”. Luckily, neither of them went ahead with their procedures, but it certainly shook them up. If you’re to trust anyone, it would be a doctor, right? The clinic is continuing business as usual. Maybe they need an overhaul of their hiring practices before they fill the gap left by our mystery man. One of the interview questions could be, “Are you a doctor?” - it’s a good place to start, I’d say. It looks like there are to be yet more delays in the construction of the fabled ring road we are supposed to have had years ago. The plans for the road were originally lodged more than 30 years ago (!), but due

Where is Wee Keeley? Fri

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You may remember from our special Paddies week paper we were joined by a group of little people on our logo. Well one of them, Wee Keeley, liked our paper so much he has asked if he can join the team. So we said yes he wants to offer a special prize to our readers courtesy of those fantastic people at VIVO Decades. Each week starting from this issue Wee Keeley will be hiding on one of the pages of the paper, find where he is and call our office number between Friday and Tuesday. Tell them where

to recent government cuts, it’s looking like we’ll have to hold our breath just a little longer. The government is moving the goalposts again. Not only will you need to take your certificate of residency with you to claim a resident discount on ferries and flights, you now also have to produce your Certificado de Empadronamiento. Like we need to carry more paperwork around! Fancy a night on the town? Check out our new competition, below. Just find our lucky leprechaun and win tickets to a great night out. Finally, did you spot the two April Fools’ Day articles last week? They were the lottery winner (last week’s page 4) and the Paris Hilton story (last week’s page 12.) Until next week,

Colin Taylor. he is hiding and we will take your name and a contact number. On Wednesday the winning name will be drawn and the lucky winner will be given 2 free tickets for that weekends Decades Goes To Hollywood dinner show... Happy searching.

Colin Taylor.

The travel company helping you enjoy more for less !

Tel : +34 922 751867 EXT1 E-mail : info@tenerifesunshine.com

A couple of showers

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Editor in Chief

Production

Leah Farrell Editor

Stephen Eade

Colin Taylor

Tenerife Weekly Office hours:

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While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make. The opinion of the owners or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors. The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Editor.

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Contributors Carlos Hernández John Hatrick Dave Michaels Phil West Janet Anscombe John Sharples

Ken Cumming Liana Mẽ aly ah Pete Quilty Karen Clack Ray Wilde Steph Tufft

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

City Council to Deploy Special Fire Prevention Service

The Tenerife Cabildo have released details of a special Easter Brifor [Tenerife’s forest fire brigade] operation aimed at preventing and extinguishing forest fires and to monitor and intervene when the fire alarm is raised within the confines of Mt. Teide and the Corona Forestal. The operation will consist of approximately 100 specialists; including staff from the Environment Agency, the fire fighting Coordination Centre (Cecopin) and other technical advisers. The Minister of Environment, Land and Water Sustainability, Ana Lupe Mora, said the current drought on the island is, “a delicate situation that has needed the attention of Brifor on 50 occasions since the 1st January; 24 of which were arson attempts.” The councillor added, “This represents triple the average.” Ana Lupe Mora noted that, “Easter is one of the times with

the highest number of visitors in the forest areas. In recreational areas and campgrounds there were 7,000 hotel room bookings

in 2011 (from Sunday to Sunday), to which we must also add walkers, athletes, users of BBQ areas, sightseers and people

El Mojón Could Create 10,000 Jobs

A meeting was held on Tuesday, 3rd April, between the president of the Majón project, Juan Francisco Reverón and the regional government president, Paulino Rivero. The main focus of the meeting was the impact on the economy of the municipality of Arona, in particular, and of the region and the island in general. “What cannot be is to continue with the current situation, because to request a change in the plans takes 5 or 6 years or even more, so that the investor ends up

leaving”, said Reverón. The Majón plan, in part, consists of “quality hotels, though not to five star luxury, but the quality is what the tourism market demand at all times,” said Reveron. He added, “The majority of tourism is looking for apartments and four-star hotels and theme parks. Therefore, the effort has to be done to encourage investment” of a partial plan that has 1 million square meters and that will “generate 10,000 jobs directly and another 2,000 at a later date.” “The one million square meters of building will be

approximately 275,000 to 500,000 square feet; assigned to “help the various facilities in this area of the resort town. To that end, there are 22,000 square feet of cultural area and 25,000 square meters of land for sports equipment. Also referenced were to two large parks of 30,000 square meters.” Juan Francisco said that the plan “which will take 25 years to be processed and adapted” will become “a source of invaluable wealth for both the municipality of Arona and to the entire region” once it develops.

Continued from page 1

During the search of the Callao Salvaje clinic, which took several hours and at which Court officers were present, police searched for any medications held on the premises, something for which the clinic is not authorised. This investigation is ongoing and the doctor is currently in police custody in the Comisaría in Playa de las Américas. The alleged fake doctor has now been imputed, which means he has been named as a formal suspect. The 39-year-old Italian is now awaiting trial on four counts of criminal deception, falsification of public documents, masquerading as a doctor, and committing acts against public health. The case has shocked Adeje, given that the clinic, International Beauty Life Tenerife, has been widely welcomed for its cosmetic surgery offers, and that the sup-

posed doctor passed the night in the police station. He has now been released by Arona Court 4 judge, Nelson Díaz Frías, who rejected public prosecutor requests to remand him in custody. He must, however, report to police every Friday and whenever the judge might additionally require, and his passport has been confiscated, while the case is investigated. Grupo International Beauty Life has said that the clinic will continue to practise, and that “the detention of the individual under investigation does not affect the continuity of work, nor any other members of staff”. The President of the regional medical college, Rodrigo Martín, said that legal procedures would now have to take their course, but that the case was the most serious that he, personally, had come across as president.

passing along the tracks running through the woodlands.” This pressure on the fragile natural areas of the island is

compounded by the risky activities that can cause fires in the forest or agricultural areas nearby; particularly the use of fire in agriculture or forestry employment and work with power tools or machines that can project sparks. So far this year, 700 agricultural and forestry burnings have been supervised by the operating Brifor, in some cases executing them directly and others to ensure compliance with safety standards and supporting farmers in their implementation. Despite the deployment of Operation Brifor, the Minister for the Environment appeals to all the visitors to the forest to act responsibly in the protection of valuable natural areas; taking measures such as not throwing cigarette butts or rubbish from cars and to travel only in authorised areas. She also advises that visitors take water with them and tools to extinguish a small fire.

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local news

Soul in the Sun Returns To Tenerife

On 13th April 2012 over 500 Northern Soul fans will be arriving in Las Américas for the bi-yearly Soul in the Sun event. The brainchild of Soul DJ Eddy Edmondson, Soul in the Sun started way back in 1998 when just 60 fans stayed at Los Olivios for what was intended to be a one off holiday. From this ‘one off’ they are now about to start their 26th holiday.

Soul in the Sun has seen many different locations over the past 14 years, including; The Stadium Bar, Harleys, The Fort, The Jungle Bar and The Soul Seller, but now is well and truly established at VIVO Pleasure Island, in Las Américas. There are Soul Sessions every afternoon between 2 and 6 pm, and every evening (in 2 rooms) from 8 pm until 2 am or later! With over 30 DJs from all over England (and one from Austria) Soul in the Sun has established itself as the number one Soul holiday in the world. Most of the “Sunners” can remember those incredible days of Northern Soul in England in the late 60’s and 70’s at such renowned clubs as; Wigan Casino, The Twisted Wheel, Blackpool Mecca, Va Vas, The Steam Machine, the Golden Torch, to name but a few. A large number of them took a break to raise a family, but now their children are grown up, and have ‘fled the nest’ they are free again to enjoy the many clubs around the UK, and of course Soul in the Sun. Many of those classic Northern Soul Records will be played during the week, by such artistes such as; Frank Wilson, Dobie Gray, Marvin Gaye, Bobby Womack and Al Wilson, alongside a splattering of some of the newer Soul Singers of the last few years such as; Cee Lo Green, R Kelly and Angie Stone. On Monday afternoon they enjoy their

now famous Fancy Dress All Dayer, so if you should see Beetle Juice, Bob the Builder, Frankenstein or similar walking down the streets of Las Américas you will know why! If you are a Soul Fan and would like to join them at VIVO there are still a few tickets available at 40 euros per person for the week. You can email Eddy at Eddy@soultime.org. uk or come along to VIVO between 8pm and 10 pm where you can purchase a wristband. For residents of Tenerife there is a limited number of weekend passes for Friday 13th & Saturday 14th April available at 15 Euros per person. If you are planning a visit to Tenerife in the winter, Soul in the Sun starts on Friday 2nd November, and details can be found at www.soulinthesun.com

You can listen to Eddy every Sunday night on Solar Radio which you can find on www. solarradio.com or Sky channel 0129.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Hanuman Jayanti- The Birth Of The Monkey God Jyoti Prakash Udhwani, Correspondant for the local Indian Community

Hanuman Jayanti is celebrated to commemorate the birth of Hanuman, the Vanara God, Shri Hanuman is worshipped all over India and by Hindus all over the globe , there is no single Indian temple in India or any part of the world which has the idol of Lord Rama unaccompanied by that of Shri Hanuman, Hanuman is the Avtara of Lord Shiva. He was born of the wind God and Anjana Devi. He is likely known as Pavansutra, Marutsuta, Pavan Kumar, Bajrangbali and Mahavira. He is the living embodiment of Ram Naam. He was an ideal and selfless devotee and disciple, a true karma yogi, who worked desirelessly and vigorously. He was a great devotee and an exceptional Brahmachari or celibate. He served his Lord Rama with complete devotion and adherence, without anticipating any benefit in return, service to his Lord – Rama was his main reason to live, he was blessed with qualities like- humility, bravery, and remarkable intelligence, he also had all the innumerable divine virtues in him. His strong faith in Lord Shri Ram made him do things that other ordinary beings could not do- like crossing the ocean by simply uttering Ram-Naam, the credit of burning the city of Lanka, where Queen Sita-

the wife of Lord Rama was held bondage, thus saving her from the hands of the wicked Ravana, he also went in search of the sanjeevani herb to restore the life of Lakshmana- Shri Ram´s younger brother. He had devotion, knowledge, spirit of selfless ser-

vice, power of celibacy and desirelessness. He never vaunted of his bravery and intelligence. His birthday falls on Chaitra shukla Purnima- the March/ April full moon day. On this holy day worship of Shri Hanuman, Fasting and reading of the Hanuman Chalisa, and spending one´s whole day doing the chanting of Ram- Naam brings about lots of benefits. Sri Hanuman will be highly pleased and will bless you with success in all your endeavours. Hanuma is also worshipped as a symbol of physical strength, perseverance and pure self-less devotion. The character of this deity teaches us the unlimited power that lies untouched

within each one of us, he directed all his power and energy towards the wor-

ship of Lord Rama, and his undying devotion made him so strong that no physical

fatigue could put him down. His greatness lies in his complete merger with his lord.

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Government Cuts Put Road Project In Doubt

Cyclist Dies after Being Hit by Car in Playa de las Américas

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 local news

The completion of the Adeje to Santiago del Teide extension of the TF1 is in doubt after national Government cuts of 64% for road projects in Tenerife. Works on several other roads are also up in the air, the Canarian Government minister for public works, Domingo Berriel, has announced. Other than road users, among the most affected will be the actual contractors who were allocated the projects, and who the Government now fears will seek compensation for the loss of some 130 million Euros in 2012 alone – the projects were due to run to 2017. Apart from the TF1 extension, other road works affected by the cuts include the third carriageway between Güímar and Santa Cruz, the TF1 extension between Santiago del Teide and Icod, and then on to El Tanque. North Tenerife is also affected in respect of the Via Litoral in Santa Cruz, and works on the

A 47-year-old cyclist died in Playa de las Américas last week after being knocked down by a car. The accident happened minutes before 2pm in Avenida Los Pueblos, the road that runs past the

Comisaría, Magma Centre and bus station to the Costa Adeje hospital. The man had already died from his severe injuries when paramedics arrived. They could sadly do no more than confirm his death at the scene.

Muggers At Large In Los Cristianos

TF5 between Ofra and El Chorrillo, and Padre Anchieta to Los Rodeos. Sr Berriel said that the regional Government was studying the pos-

sibility of an appeal to the Supreme Court or even the Constitutional Court to contest the decision for breach of agreement.

Several muggings have been committed over the past week in the area around the Royal Palm apartment complex in Los Cristianos. A local resident, who did not want to be named, contacted The Tenerife Weekly to state that both she and her friend are scared to venture outside while the perpetrators are still at large. The attacks have all occurred in broad daylight, during the afternoon, when there are many people passing by. At the time of going to press there were at least seven muggings attributed to the same gang. One of

the attacks was against a wheelchair-bound lady, who had her bag forcibly snatched from her arms. On at least two occasions the attackers have held their victims against a wall, pressing their arm against the victim’s throat. They have also been known to use knives to cut the bags from the women’s grasp. The same gang have also been spotted prowling the area in a car, then jumping out on unsuspecting women as they enter or leave the complex. Local police have been informed, but at this time, the criminals are to be considered at large.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 useful information

TRANSFERRING YOUR SPANISH PROPERTY TO A UK LIMITED COMPANY By Michael Rhodes

As mentioned in previous articles, a foreigner who owns Property in Spain is subject to Spanish Inheritance Tax on their Spanish assets on their death. Even if there is a Spanish Will, it does not prevent the IHT payments payable, but unlike the tax payable in the UK or Ireland, it is payable by the beneficiaries and is dependent upon the relationship of the beneficiaries to the deceased, and of the number of beneficiaries. THE SOLUTION 1. Family Business Gift Rule Spain has a tax law that allows persons to donate property to a company, exempt from the 6.5% Transfer Tax chargeable on a property transaction. This goes back to the time of Franco, whereby under Spanish Probate rules one third of the estate passed to the wife, one third to his children, and one third as he wishes. Over two or three genera-

tions this could mean that there were a large number of owners of the property and the Government allowed the property to be placed in a Spanish Limited Company to ease this. 2. UK Private Limited Company Under the EU Treaty, a company from a Member State has to be treated in the same way as a Spanish Company. Therefore an English Company can have Spanish real estate transferred to it in the same way as a Spanish Company. 3. Taxation of UK Companies A company from an EU Member State is only taxed in one country. This means that if it is a UK company and is taxed in the UK, under the EU directive it should not be taxed in Spain. This is for taxes levied by the government and not to the Regions or local authorities. This is not an offshore jurisdiction so the rules relating to offshore jurisdictions, such as the charge of

cost of the property plus the tax and notary fees paid at the time of purchase, plus indexation, which can be estimated at 2% per annum. There will be notary fees and land registry fees payable on the transaction plus the legal costs.

Further points to be noted:

3% per annum, is not applicable. 4. Inheritance Tax on Shares in the UK Limited Company The transfer of the real estate property to shares in a UK Limited Company is not liable to the tax for stamp duty (6.5%). Once the property is in the name of the UK Limited Company no tax is payable in Spain on the death of a shareholder or director. If the shares are bequeathed to a third party on death, it does not affect the position in Spain as the property still remains in

the name of the UK Limited Company. Whilst the property remains registered in the name of a UK individual it is possible for there to be a charge to Inheritance Tax both in Spain and in the UK. 5. Transfer of Property to a UK Limited Company The transfer to a UK Limited Company does not avoid certain taxes becoming payable; plus valia tax is payable by the person disposing of the property. This is a once only tax payable to the local authority. In addition there will be a 1% tax based on the original

Clients will no longer need a Spanish Will. It will no longer be necessary for owners to prepare a tax return here as the property is no longer owned by them. The shares in the UK Limited Company can be transferred during their lifetime if they so wish. Ownership of the property and of the UK Limited Company can be hidden by the use of nominees. A more involved structure involving the use of trusts can also be employed if desired. The company will not be liable to taxes in Spain for the reasons mentioned above. If it is desired to sell the property in the future this

can be done either by selling the company or by selling it out of the company. The various stages to transferring to a UK Limited Company: Form a UK Limited Company including provision of the property owners as shareholders and directors, using our agents for the Company Secretary and Registered Office All company documents to be translated into Spanish and notarised and apostilled. Appoint a Fiscal Representative in Spain to act on behalf of the Company, and apply for a CIF. Obtain Powers of Attorney for the present owners of the property and on behalf of the Company. Send the papers to the notary to prepare the Deed of Donation Payment of Plus Valia and 1% Tax, and register property at the Land Registry. You can contact Michael Rhodes on; Tel: (+34) 922 796 744 Web: www.tenerifelawyer.com Email: info@tenerifelawyer.com

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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Tenerife Supports Marie Curie Cancer Care

Back in England Marie Curie nurses make a huge difference to the lives of many people with terminal cancer and other related illnesses and to their families. During March people all around the UK were doing all sorts of activities to raise money for the Great Daffodil Appeal. Many simply just buy a Daffodil pin badge to show their support. This year bar owners Mick and Stacey Lightfoot gave their support by selling the Daffodils in their pool bar. They were brought over to Tenerife by Dennis and Julie Jephson who are members of the Rother Valley Fund Raising Group in Sheffield. The Daffodils were snapped up in no time, raising 49.67 Euros. Marie Curie would like to thank all staff and residents of Club Olympus Garden City in Playa de Las Américas, who contributed and wish Mick and Stacey the very best of luck in their new venture. For more information about the Great Daffodil Appeal, please contact Julie Jephson on juliejephson@yahoo.co.uk For more information about Marie Curie Cancer Care and any other enquiries relating to the charity, please contact Liz Howlett, Marie Curie Community Fundraiser, on liz.howlett@mariecurie.org.uk 0044 114 279 3010 Marie Curie Cancer Care is one of the UK’s largest charities. Employing more than

nity to provide end of life care, totally free for patients in their own homes. Research The charity provides core funding for two centres for palliative care research, the Marie Curie Palliative Care Research Unit at University College, London and the Marie Curie Palliative Care Institute, Liverpool. It also supports palliative and end of life care research through its project grant funding streams, the Marie Curie Cancer Care Research Programme (administered by Cancer Research UK) and the Dimbleby Marie Curie Cancer Care Research Fund.

2,700 nurses, doctors and other healthcare professionals, it provided care to more than 31,000 terminally ill patients in the community and in its nine hospices last year and is the largest provider of hospice beds outside the NHS. Funding Around 70 per cent of the charity’s income

comes from the generous support of thousands of individuals, membership organisations and businesses, with the balance of our funds coming from the NHS. Marie Curie Nurses The charity is best known for its network of Marie Curie Nurses working in the commu-

Supporting the choice to die at home Research shows around 65 per cent of people would like to die at home if they had a terminal illness, with a sizeable minority opting for hospice care. However, more than 50 per cent of cancer deaths still occur in hospital, the place people say they would least like to be. Since 2004 Marie Curie Cancer Care has been campaigning for more patients to be able to make the choice to be cared for and die at home.

Press release issued by the local volunteer Fundraising Group for Marie Curie Cancer Care.

One Year Driving Ban for Deputy Mayor Blanca Pérez, the deputy mayor and council woman of Social Welfare of the City Council in La Laguna has been fined 1,800 Euros and banned from driving for a year, following her conviction for drink driving. The councilwoman was intercepted on Wednesday [4th April] when she apparently drove drunk and the wrong way down Avenida de los Menceyes, La Laguna. She made a short appearance before Judge César Romero before being sentenced. Apparently the attorney for the council had reached a plea deal so the accused just came to testify and left the court with the judgment. Blanca Pérez, of the political party Canar-

ian Coalition (CC), apologised for what happened and for the damage that may have resulted from her actions. She has tendered her resignation to the mayor, Fernando Clavijo, and asked him to take such action as he feels appropriate.

Residents Will Need Official Certificate To Claim Their Travel Discounts

The Spanish budget was presented in Parliament last week, and one of the most important issues for the Canaries was the announcement that the transport subsidy for residents in the Canaries (and the Balearics) has been reduced by 65 million Euros. The level of interest in the measure is indicated by the fact that this has become a global “trending topic” on Twitter – number 4 in the top ten items being discussed

worldwide. It’s was number one in Spain itself. What this means in specific terms for “resident discounts” on travel to and from the Canaries is yet to be clarified. However the Ministro de Industria, Comercio y Turismo, the Canarian José Manuel Soría, confirmed that it will not affect resident discounts, and that Canarian residents will retain their 50% reduction in air tickets. That means, of course, cuts elsewhere.

Although up to now residents have just had to produce a Certificado de Registro to demonstrate their residence in the Canaries (as well as photographic ID such as a passport or a Spanish driving licence) in order to get a resident travel discount, Madrid is reintroducing the requirement for a Certificado de Empadronamiento. This applies to both flights and ferry transport, the Miynistra de Fomento, Ana Pastor, has announced.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Zoonoses

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines zoonoses as diseases that are transmitted naturally from vertebrate animals to man, and vice versa. There are also other infectious diseases (bacterial and viral) which, although usually not transmitted from man to animals, can affect both. Most are transmitted by direct contact with the animals, their exudates and / or faeces, or through vectors (eg, fleas). Flea bites appear as reddish rashes are itchy especially in arms and legs. The importance lies not only in the appearance of these skin lesions, but also that of fleas as intermediate hosts of intestinal worms (tapeworms). To avoid being bitten by fleas is essential to keep dogs and cats properly dewormed. There are various products on the market and external parasite combinations, please check with your veterinarian about the product that best suits the needs of your pet. Ringworm is a skin infection caused by fungi, and can transmit both dogs and cats. In people, the lesions appear as circular areas reddish, ring-shaped and very itchy. Fungal infections are related to health status, ie, affecting animals with weakened immune systems. The sarcoptic mange mite Cheyletiella may also affect people, but infections are usually selflimiting. Although not usually cause serious health problems, intestinal parasites or “worms” can also

affect people and especially children, who are less careful when handling their pets and then “put their hands in their mouths,” facilitating the fecal-oral transmission. Pay special attention to Toxocara, a long white roundworm common in dogs, since one of their larval stages can migrate within the body causing damage to the eyes, brain, liver and other organs on the other hand, a I was known as Dypilidium caninum (seen in the stool as “grains of rice”) can also affect people. Regular deworming of dogs and cats, both internal and external parasite is the best method to prevent transmission of these worms. Leptospirosis is a disease caused by bacteria that is transmitted through contact with rat urine, or through the soil and water contami-

nated with it. Produce liver and kidney disease be life threatening. Although quite rare, if a dog is infected it can transmit the disease to humans through their urine. Therefore, we recommend vaccinating dogs annually against this disease and to take basic hygiene and wash hands after contact with the urine of dogs. Each patient is unique, so the vet will advise about worming and vaccination program ideal for your pet, depending on their characteristics and the environment in which they live. This column was kindly submitted by Koala Sur, Las Chafiras. Please see their advertisement on page 45 for more details and discount offers. More information on www.koalasur.com and Facebook.

Tegueste Tapas and Wines Tegueste, in the municipality of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, is holding a fine wine and local cuisine festival until 30th April, with the help of the fifth edition of the guide “Wine Route y Tapa de la Villa”, which this year has significantly expanded the number of bars and restaurants participating, reaching a total of 31 establishments.

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local interest

The Municipality of La Matanza de Acentejo An Insightful Guide By Carlos Hernández

This room also houses a replica of the Turin Shroud. Culture

Places of Historical Interest Ancient Franciscan Hospice Doña Sixta House Temple of Our Lady Guide Temple of San Antonio de Abad

Pine Fountain (Fuente del Pino) Ship House (La Casa del Barco) Parochial Church of the Saviour (El Salvador) Dear readers, welcome back to our journey across Tenerife. This week we visit the small municipality of La Matanza de Acentejo.

La Matanza de Acentejo (Spanish meaning Slaughter of Acentejo in which the Spanish won in 1494) is located on the north coast of Tenerife. It is located 15 km East of Puerto de la Cruz, about 23 km SouthSouthwest of the island’s capital, Santa Cruz, North-East of Los Cristianos and Las Américas and West-Southwest of the Tenerife North Airport. When the Spanish conquest finished, the settlement sprang up around the first church built in honour of the World Saviour that was named a parochial church in 1615 by the bishop, Don Antonio Carrionero. A Franciscan hospice, operated by three friars, existed here, and was suppressed by royal clause in the 17th century. Several temples were built, all in commemoration of the battles with the Guanches: including the chapel of San Antonio, near the place of the historic battle, San Diego, next to the sea, and the Cruz del Camino. The municipality covers approximately 14.11 km² with an elevation or 520m. Santa Úrsula is linked with the TF2 superhighway and the old highway linking Icod de los Vinos and the capital. Farmlands are in the valley

areas and urban sprawls cover much of the area and the mountain. Its climate is vegetation. Much of the area were made up of farmlands, most of the farmlands are urbanized while most of the population shifted from rural to urban and tourism. The population are mainly urban today and its industry is agriculture and tourism. It is a very mountainous municipality, with few plains and lots of vegetation. It has a rough topography with steep slopes. The economic base of this municipality is agricultural, with the harvesting and export of fruits and potatoes, characterised by their prolonged conservation, as well as grapes. Its vineyards produce exquisite wines, mainly red, recognised in different contests of having a charming flavour. It boasts an excellent production of milk, meat, eggs and fertiliser, which is part of its economic wealth. Palm Sunday, The Procession Of Children On the Sunday before Easter Sunday the community of La Matanza celebrate Palm Sunday Mass which is preceded by the traditional procession of the palms and the Lord of the donkey, which departs from the Cruz del Camino chapel and goes to the parish church. Children will make their First Communion whilst participating in the procession and the people wear the traditional Hebrew vestimental.

Currently under construction is a scale replica of the interior of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem (the place where, according to Christian tradition, the body of Jesus Christ was taken after his crucifixion), the replica will be located in the main plaza.

Among the local celebrations, the most notable takes place at the end of December and is called the Dance of the Child (El Baile del Niño). It has been celebrated, since 1816, each Christmas in the parochial church of La Matanza. It is a Christmas “tajaraste”, played with drums, flute, tambourine and triangle, and is danced in two rows among which the dancers play a pair of castanets. The Festivities of San Salvador, in the church of the same name, are celebrated on 6th August, and on 31st May, the events that gave the town its name are evoked. The carnival has a well-deserved fame. Flora & Fauna Along the coast there are many cactus species, and as one climbs the green mountain, there are some introduced species; such as the chestnut tree, and finally, pines. The municipality has areas of “Natural Protected Space”. These include; Acentejo Coast, Las Lagunetas and San Antonio Mountains Tourism The potential for developing rural tourism is high. The area boasts attractions such as the rock over the Punta del Sol sea, the beach and the small fishing dock of El Caletón. The beaches and sands of La Negra and El Bao, end our tour on El Puntillo del Sol, at the other end of the municipality and in which tourist urbanisations rise up.

Calendar of Popular Festivities in La Matanza de Acentejo January 17th

August 6th

Last two Sundays in January and first Sunday in February

Last Sunday in August

May 3rd

September 8th

June – July

December 24th

Last Sunday in July

The week after Corpus

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 business news

Unemployment in Spain

Reaches 4.75 Million The latest unemployment figures in Spain show that 38,769 people joined the dole queues in the first month of the labour reform. It takes the total number out of work to 4,750,867. The data for March from the Ministry for Employment shows the eighth consecutive rise in the numbers out of work. Since March 2011, 417,198 people have lost their jobs. In annual terms, unemployment is up by 9.6%. Unemployment is up in all sectors of the economy and women were harder hit than men. Three regions registered a fall in the numbers, Cataluña, Baleares and Navarra, while 14 regions saw an increase, led by Andalucía, where 12,538 people more are out of work and in Valencia where there are 6,575 new people on the dole. The Secretary of State for Employment, Engracia Hidalgo, commented that the unemployment data for March continued to show ‘an unsatisfactory situation’, be he claimed that the labour reform would introduce ‘confidence and

Secretary of State for Employment, Engracia Hidalgo (left) flexibility’ into the landscape for businesses. The one piece of better news is that the Social Security system gained contributors for the first time in seven months. The Ministry for Employment and Social Security say the increase in March of 5,419 people takes the total number of contributors to 16,902,530. However despite that slight improvement the numbers also show that the numbers of people in work fell by 490,224 over the past 12 months.

Business Briefs

More than half of Spanish youngsters, 50.5% aged under 25, are without work according to the latest figures from Eurostat. In February Spain saw the highest unemployment rate in the EU – 23.6% Across the EU there are five million youngsters unemployed. House prices fell by 2.5% in the first quarter, according to Fotocasa who say the fall over the past 12 months was 7.6%. Castilla-La Mancha is the only region to see a price increase in the first quarter. There has now been 53 consecutive months to show an annual fall in house prices. The Spanish Tourism Industry is looking to foreign tourists to save the season, as hotel reservations are down for Easter by 28% this year compared to last. Frontur, the company under the Tourist Ministry has noted a 2.7% increase in foreign tourists so far this year. The British, Germans and French lead the foreign tourism in Spain, but there is some concern at the new British departure tax of 13 Euros on flights to Spain. The Canaries expect to see the largest number of tourists for Easter and the occupancy levels in Barcelona and Sevilla forecast to be 80%, are currently at about 75%. The Government is to protect the investments that Telefónica has made in its fibre optic network. A law published in the Official State Bulletin on Saturday says the protection for Telefónica means the other operators who want to use fibre optics can establish them, but having to find the investment. It previously was a wholesale market for use of the Telefónica cables. Another section of the new legislation says that if a client wants to change operator, he or she can claim compensation if the process is not completed in a day. Hacienda recovered 1 billion euros from repentant tax evaders last year. The process has involved the client having to pay what is owed. The budget has now announced an amnesty with a 10% charge on assets and 8% on investments which the Government hopes will bring 25 billion euros. However the PSOE say they are starting an investigation to see if the pardon process is fully legal. The Ministry for Agriculture and the farming organisation have reached a minimum agreement on help for the sector in the face of the on-going drought. The farmers think the Government has not gone far enough as livestock breeders have to turn to expensive feed as there is little grazing. The Government says they will reduce the modules for the farmers in their Income Tax to help. The olive oil sector is doing well, and there has been an historic production of 1.57 million tons. It beats the previous record in 2003/4 at 1.42 million tons, and comes as source prices have fallen slightly. Your electricity bill has just gone up in price and the average monthly bill is now nearly 80 Euros, 30.50 euros more than just five years ago. FACUA consumer group says electricity has risen by more than 60% in five years. If we count the increased IVA the jump is 62.9% in price. FACUA say the increase is an unjustified attack on the budget of families.

Murdoch Resigns from BskyB

James Murdoch is to step down as chairman of UK satellite broadcaster BSkyB, but will remain on the board. He is the son of News Corporation founder Rupert, whose company had to drop its bid for BSkyB after the phone-hacking scandal. Last month, James Murdoch stepped down as chairman of News International, which publishes the Sun and the Times in the UK. He said then he had moved to New

York to work on News Corp’s pay-TV business. News Corp owns almost 40% of BSkyB and had wanted to buy the whole of the firm, but withdrew its bid under intense political pressure. Sources told the BBC that it was James Murdoch’s decision to leave and he did so in an attempt to pre-empt further criticism. Nicholas Ferguson will take over as chairman.

Beauty company, Coty Inc., has submitted an offer to buy Avon Products, Inc. for about $10 billion, but Avon rejected the offer. Coty’s offer is for $23.25 per share in cash for Avon, which described it as a 27% premium over the three-month average price. Avon’s (AVP, Fortune 500) stock soared 23% in premarket trading to $23.80 per share after Coty announced the offer. After Avon announced its rejection, the stock softened a bit, but was still up 20% at the start of trading. Coty, a producer of cosmetics, perfumes, toiletries, skin care and other beauty products, said it decided to make its offer public “in order to inform Avon’s shareholders of the significant value in a transaction.” Coty said its announcement has followed “extensive but unsuccessful attempts to engage Avon in discussions regarding its proposal,” but that it does not plan to pur-

sue a hostile takeover. Coty said that Avon, a 125-year-old company, had already rejected this offer two weeks ago. “At the time, the board concluded, and it still believes, that Coty’s indication of interest is opportunistic and not in the best interest of Avon’s shareholders,” Avon stated in a prepared statement. Avon’s leadership has been in a tenuous situation since last year. Andrea Jung had been CEO since 1999. But in December she stepped back from that role, agreeing to continue on as chairman until a replacement CEO could be placed. Coty is no stranger to partnerships. The company website provides a list of 38 brands -- companies and celebrities -- with which it is affiliated. Brands include Adidas, Beyoncé, Calvin Klein, Jennifer López, Naútica, Playboy and the Beckhams.

Avon Rejects $10 Billion Coty Offer

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world news

US Woman Lands Plane Turkey’s 1980 Military After Pilot-Husband Dies Coup Leaders To

An 80-year-old US woman with little flying experience has staged an emergency landing in Wisconsin after her pilot husband collapsed and died. Helen Collins remained calm as she brought the small Cessna plane in to land at Cherryland Airport, even though she said she knew her husband was dead. She had taken basic lessons in taking off and landing 30 years ago, her son told the Associated Press news agency. James Collins, also a trained pilot, helped guide his mother down via radio. Mrs Collins and her husband John were coming back from their holiday home in Florida when he suffered a fatal heart attack in the cockpit. She called the police and local pilot Robert Vuksanovic went up in another small plane to try to help guide the Cessna down. The plane had almost completely run out of fuel by the time she landed at the small airport in Sturgeon Bay and had only one functioning engine. It skidded down the runway for about 1,000ft (305m) before coming to a halt. The couple’s son, James Collins said, “She

Finally Stand Trial

was calmer than everybody on the ground. She had it totally under control”. The amazing thing is she landed that plane on one engine - I don’t know if there are a lot of trained pilots that could do that. I already knew I lost my dad; I didn’t want to lose my mom. It could have been both of them at once.” Local resident Torry Lautenbach watched the Cessna land and estimated that Mrs Collins circled the airport about 10 times. “She did a really good job. It was amazing. It took one bad hop and then it came back down and skidded.” Mrs Collins was taken to hospital with injuries to her back and ribs but was expected to be released within a few days.

Explosion at Mogadishu’s Somali National Theatre

Somalia’s Olympic committee and football heads are among seven people killed in a suicide blast in Mogadishu. Somali PM Abdiweli Mohamed Ali was also present when the attacker struck the newly re-opened national theatre, but he told the BBC he was unhurt. AlShabab militants say they carried out the bombing. The theatre closed in the early 1990s as Somalia descended into civil war and was only reopened last month, amid a new period of relative optimism.

The President of the Somali Olympic Committee, Aden Yabarow Wiish, and the Somali Football Federation chief, Said Mohamed Nur, were among a group of dignitaries who had gathered to mark the first anniversary of the launch of Somalia’s national television station. Three Somali television journalists were also

wounded in the blast. Eyewitnesses said the attacker was a woman. Al-Shabab militants who had controlled large parts of the country, including Mogadishu, were pushed out of the city by troops from the African Union last year. Since then, there has been a period of relative quiet, with sporting activity resuming, restaurants opening, and the re-opening of the National Theatre, but alShabab has continued to attack the capital with bombs and mortars.

The two surviving leaders of Turkey’s 1980 military coup have gone on trial charged with overthrowing the civilian government. Gen Kenan Evren, 94, who was president from 198389, and Gen Tahsin Sahinkaya, 86, are the first Turkish officers to face trial for staging a coup. Neither appeared in the Ankara court on Wednesday, 4th April, owing to poor health. Hundreds of demonstrators, mainly leftists, rallied outside the courthouse demanding justice. Some 600,000 people were detained after the coup. Many were tortured and 50 executed by hanging while hundreds more were told they would face the death penalty. A constitutional clause granting the generals immunity from prosecution was overturned after a referendum in 2010. Prosecutors are seeking life terms for both men. However, they will not go to prison because of their age and frail health. The Turkish prosecutor’s office said the court in Ankara could hear the men’s testimonies via video link. Gen Evren’s indictment carries great symbolic significance in Turkey; demonstrating how far the balance of power has shifted away from the once untouchable military establishment. The AK Party government of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan and the parliament have applied to

be co-plaintiffs in the trial, asking for their grievances against the coup leaders to be taken into account. “This case is a milestone for Turkish democracy,” said Selcuk Ozdag, an MP from the AK Party. “It is the result of the government’s political will.” Leftist activists outside the courthouse said they wanted other military commanders involved in the coup to be put on trial too. Many photos of activists killed or tortured by the military at the time were displayed at the rally. Some Turkish nationalists also demonstrated; displaying the names of nationalists executed after the coup. In 2010, Gen Evren - Turkey’s seventh president said that he would rather commit suicide than go on

trial. He argued that the army’s action had saved Turkey from rising street violence involving left-wing and right-wing groups. When challenged over the execution of a teenage student Gen Evren replied: “Should we feed them in prison for years, instead of hanging them?” Turkish media say the general recently underwent intestinal surgery and reports on Tuesday said he had also broken an arm. The 1980 military overthrow was the last and bloodiest of Turkey’s coups. The others took place in 1960 and 1971, although the military also forced out a coalition government in 1997.

Airport ‘Gridlock’ Warning For Easter Weekend Airlines have warned there could be long queues at Britain’s airports over the Easter weekend because of staff shortages at the UK Border Agency - with one firm saying there could be “gridlock”. Eleven firms, including British Airways and Virgin, have written to Home Secretary Theresa May telling her the agency does not have the resources to check everyone’s passports as they come into Britain. The airlines are urging the Government to employ more border control staff or relax tough restrictions on immigration checks that came in after a scandal at the agency last November. Its former boss, Brodie Clark, resigned after Mrs May said he had relaxed checks without her permission. He was

later reportedly given £100,000 compensation by the Home Office, with neither side admitting fault. Simon Buck, chief executive of the British Air Transport Association, wrote to Mrs May on behalf of the 11 airlines urging her to ensure passport controls are “properly resourced”. There are fears of long queues at passport control over the Easter break due to staff shortages He said: “We don’t want to see queues at airports. It’s bad for passengers and for UK plc to see long queues at passport control. We are looking for reassurance from the Home Office that the Border Force will be properly resourced. There was a risk approach until November last year, and the Border

Force was streamlined to focus on this approach.” Virgin has gone further; warning MPs that long queues at passport control could leave passengers stranded on planes and put the operation of “entire airports at risk”. A spokeswoman for Virgin Airlines said: “After years of reducing frontline staff, returning to a 100% check system will undoubtedly mean lengthy queues at UK airports over critical holiday periods such as Easter and the Diamond Jubilee. If the Government wishes to continue with this policy, it must put the resource in place to make it possible or we risk gridlock at our busiest airports at a time when we hope to be welcoming millions to the UK.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 world news

California Shooting Suspect One Goh Mugshot Released

A mugshot of One Goh, the man charged with killing seven people at religious school Oikos University in Oakland, California, has been released after police revealed he had been teased about his poor English and was massively in debt. A full list of 43-year-old Mr Goh’s victims has also been released, which includes school students and staff. The alleged gunman was due to appear in court, on

Wednesday, over the murders on 2nd April, the worst school shooting in the US since the deaths of 33 people, including gunman Seung-Hui Cho, at Virginia Tech in 2007. Former nursing student Mr Goh is said to have been expelled from the school for unspecified behavioural problems, with police indicating he had ‘anger management issues’. Detectives said he returned to the university to confront a female admin-

istrator but upon learning she was not present took a receptionist hostage and ordered bystanders to line up against a wall; when they refused to do so he opened fire with the words ‘I’m going to kill you all’, police said, killing seven and wounding three others. South Korean-born Mr Goh was later taken into custody at a nearby supermarket. Oakland police have named the victims as Katleen Ping, 24, the school’s receptionist; Lydia Sim, 21; Bhutia

Warship HMS Dauntless Sets Sail For Falklands

The Royal Navy’s most advanced warship has set sail from Portsmouth for a six-month deployment to the Falkland Islands. HMS Dauntless, a Type 45 destroyer, was waved off by the families and friends of the 190-strong crew from a sunny vantage point overlooking the ancient harbour. The ship will be responsible for patrolling the waters around the islands in the South Atlantic. She sets sail at a time of heightened diplomatic tensions between the UK and Argentina. The Ministry of Defence insists the deployment is routine. The ship is part of a rota-

tion in which another ship, HMS Montrose, a smaller, less sophisticated frigate, will return home from the South Atlantic. The warship’s departure from Portsmouth comes exactly 30 years after a naval task force of more than 120 ships set sail from the same port to retake the Falkland Islands following the Argentine invasion in 1982. Among those watching the departure and waving a Union flag was Gemma Woodford whose younger brother Oliver Clarke is one of Dauntless’ crew. She said: “It’s more emotional than I thought. I am proud of him because he was a bit worried himself I think.” Oliver Clarke’s mother Tracy was emotional

Fire in Moscow Market Warehouse Kills 17

A fire at a market warehouse on the outskirts of Moscow has killed 17 people, Russian authorities have said. Earlier it was reported that 15 people have been killed but the death toll has since risen. “They were migrant workers. We are trying to confirm which (ex-Soviet) republic they came from,” an emergencies ministry spokesman said. Unconfirmed news reports said the migrants came from the impoverished Central Asian nation of Tajikistan. It is common for Moscow markets to employ cheap labourers from the region without giving them proper housing conditions. The blaze broke out in the early hours of Tuesday at a market on the southern outskirts of the city called Kachalovsky.

Officials said it took two hours to put out. Emergency workers said the victims were living in squalid conditions and were sleeping on hard bunk beds stacked on top of each other in a metal shed. Another official said the workers probably left a space heater on all night to stay warm during the freezing Moscow spring. Overnight temperatures plunged below zero and much of central Russia has been hit by snow in recent days. Police said they have opened a criminal investigation but have not yet pressed any charges against the market owners. Russia’s migration service estimates that there are 700,000 Tajiks living officially in the country - a tenth of their home country’s population of just under seven million. Tajikistan was wrecked by a brutal civil war in the early 1990s and then experienced nearly two decades of ethnic tensions and endemic drugs trafficking that hampered sustainable growth. Its economy remains in tatters and some analysts estimate that up to half of Tajikistan’s young male population is currently trying to make a living in Moscow and other major Russian cities.

Tshering, 38; Sonam Chodeon, 33; Judith Seymore, 53; Kim Eunhea, 23; and Doris Chibuko, 40. According to reports Mr Goh is tens of thousands of dollars in debt, while in 2011 he lost his army sergeant brother in a car accident and his mother, who died in South Korea. Police Chief Howard Jordan said: ‘It’s very, very sad. We have seven people who didn’t deserve to die and three others wounded because someone who couldn’t deal

with the pressures of life.’ In addition, Mr Jordan said he understood Mr Goh felt other students ‘disrespected him, laughed at him’. ‘They made fun of his lack of English speaking skills,’ he said. It made him feel isolated compared to the other students.’ Oakland mayor Jean Quan joined pastors from the Bay Area’s Korean Christian community at a memorial service and called for unity and an end to violence.

too. “Very emotional,” she said. “It’s a milestone because his Dad was in the Navy and he went out to the Falklands just after it was taken.” Tracy said the deployment had been made harder by the renewed tensions between Britain and Argentina. “It has been, yes because it does worry you what’s going on out there and is there going to be any more upset and anything happening, but hopefully

they will go out there and come back safely.” The Argentine Government has accused the United Kingdom of ‘militarising’ the South Atlantic in recent months. It is a charge both the British Government and the local Falklands government reject. Christina Fernández de Kirchner, the Argentine President said in February that “this militarisation poses a grave danger to international security”. Reacting to the recent deployment of Prince William to the islands as a search and rescue pilot, President Kirchner said: “We cannot interpret in any other way the deployment of an ultra-modern destroyer accompanying the heir to the throne, who we would prefer to see in civilian attire.” A Downing Street spokeswoman responded to the accusation saying: “We are not militarising the South Atlantic, our military posture remains the same.”

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IRISH NEWS

Reynolds Solicitor Says RTÉ Action Over Case ‘Premature’

The solicitor for Fr Kevin Reynolds has described as “extraordinary” the fact that neither he nor his client were involved in the report into the Prime Time Investigates programme Mission to Prey. The Broadcasting Authority of Ireland (BAI) commissioned former BBC Northern Ireland controller Anna Carragher to carry out an investigation on its behalf into the programme, which falsely accused Fr Reynolds of raping a minor while working as a missionary priest in Kenya and having a child by her. RTÉ was forced to apologise and pay a substantial out-of-court settlement to Fr Reynolds who is the parish priest of Ahascragh, Co Galway. The BAI accepted the report’s findings on Monday (2nd April) and sent copies of it to RTÉ along with details of sanctions, if any, that it intends to impose on the broadcaster. The BAI can impose fines of up to 250,000 Euros for breaches of the

code relating to journalistic ethics and fairness. RTÉ, which didn’t defend the programme on either of these grounds, announced the setting up of an external investigation board, chaired by former Northern Ireland ombudsman Maurice Hayes, to make recommendations about RTÉ personnel involved in the programme. Solicitor Robert Dore said he believed

at a “basic level” that Fr Reynolds, who was the injured party, should have given evidence to the investigation into how the programme came to be made. As a solicitor he maintained that he should have been asked to give evidence as to how RTÉ handled legal correspondence in relation to it. Mr Dore told RTÉ’s Morning Ireland programme: “We could have contributed as to the manner in which RTÉ chose to go ahead and broadcast the programme in the teeth of protestations of innocence from Fr Reynolds, his willingness to undergo a paternity test and the manner in which RTÉ chose to defend those proceedings.” Mr Dore has now written to the BAI and RTÉ requesting copies of the report before it is put into the public domain. He said people should not lose sight of the fact that Fr Reynolds was subjected to “daily misery” by RTÉ which maintained

Two men were rescued from the Sally Gap road near Roundwood, Co Wicklow after they became stuck in poor road conditions early this morning Motorists have been warned to avoid the area due to snow. Gale force winds battered the country during Tuesday night (3rd April) and rain, sleet and snow fell in some areas, leaving slippery road conditions in parts of Leinster, including Carlow, Tullow, Naas, Wexford and New Ross. Gardai requested the assistance of the Dublin and Wicklow Mountain Rescue Team and the Glen of Imaal Irish Red Cross Mountain Rescue Team at about 4am to assist two men. Rescuers said the young men had at-

tempted to cross the Sally Gap in a small hatchback car. “They had become stuck near the crossroads and fearing for their safety they had contacted emergency services to assist them,” the mountain rescue service said in a statement. Both teams responded immediately to attempt to locate the men. “As their exact location was unknown, experienced drivers from both teams used specially adapted 4x4 vehicles to access the Sally Gap approach roads in treacherous conditions.” The men were located at about 5am between Pier Gates and the Sally Gap crossroads. They were assessed by mountain rescue medical personnel and brought to safety in a mountain rescue vehicle.

S i n g e r - son g wr i t e r Leonard Cohen has added a third date to his return to Dublin later this year. Tickets for the first two shows in the grounds of the Royal Hospital Kilmainham on 11th and 12th September sold out in hours last week, prompting the additional performance. The 77-year-old, who broke a 10-year hiatus from live shows by performing at the Irish Museum of Modern Art in 2008, will play the third night on Friday, 14th September.

The standardised unemployment rate fell to 14.3pc in March 2012 from 14.4pc the previous month but on an annual basis the increase was 0.1pc. On a seasonally adjusted basis there was a drop of 3,000 on the Live Register bringing the total to 434,800, according to new figures from the Central Statistics Office. The latest seasonally adjusted unemployment rate from the Quarterly National Household Survey was 14.6pc in the last quarter of 2011. The Live Register is not a definitive measure of unemployment as it includes part-time, seasonal and casual workers. The Live Register showed monthly decreases of 2,000 males and 900 females in March 2012. While the number of long term claimants increased by 10,235 in the year to March, the number of younger claimants, those under 25, fell by 8,403. According to Bloxham Stockbrokers, the average unemployment rate in 2011 was

Monthly Fall In March Unemployment Rate

RTÉ Director General, Noel Curran

until the very end that it could stand by its story until a paternity test proved that Fr Reynolds was not the father of the child. Mr Dore described the wholesale editorial changes announced by RTÉ as “premature” given that they have not received a copy of the BAI report. “I can’t understand why they don’t await the report before they take the actions that they do,” Mr Dore said. The director-general of RTÉ Noel Curran announced that the head of news Ed Mulhall had retired and the editor of current affairs Ken O’Shea had stepped down from his post as a result of the Fr Reynolds’ libel affair. Mr Curran also announced that the Prime Time Investigates programme would be disbanded, a new investigations unit set up, new editorial guidelines would be given to all staff and a board of senior editors would be set to review investigative programmes before they go to air.

Men Rescued From Cohen Adds Third Dublin Date Sally Gap Snow Cohen’s greatest literary hero is WB Yeats. At a show in Lissadell in Sligo two years ago, he took time to travel around Yeats country and says he was deeply moved by his visit. “It was a huge thing for me,” he said. Earlier this year he released his first new studio album in eight years, Old

Ideas. He has been performing consistently for the past four years after leaving behind his life in a Zen Buddhist retreat. A few years ago it emerged that his bank account had all but been cleared out by an ex-manager. Tickets for the first of the all-seated shows sold in less than 10 minutes and the second a few hours later. Tickets for the third show, priced from 79.50 Euros, will be available from 9am on Thursday 19th April.

14.4pc and this is expected to fall to 14pc in 2012. “Although it is likely to be a slow process in getting the jobless rate down, recent economic trends/data have been encouraging,” said Alan McQuaid, chief economist at Bloxham. Reacting to the figures, Chambers Ireland said that the latest CSO data indicated a slight decrease in the standardised unemployment rate for March 2012 to 14.3pc from 14.4pc in February 2012 but warned about complacency. Seán Murphy, deputy chief executive said: “The Action Plan for Jobs was announced in February with the promise of a number of initiatives to create employment. “The unemployment rate has undergone very slight increases and decreases in the last few months without any real reduction in the numbers signed onto the live register. “What we need now is clear focus on the delivery of these objectives if unemployment numbers are to reduce significantly.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 irish news

Second Fatality Probed As Trolley Death Talks Held The death of a second patient at Royal Victoria Hospital is being investigated by the Belfast Health Trust. The news came as the family of a man left to die alone on a trolley in a hospital accident and emergency department were promised such a tragedy would never happen again. The bereaved relatives of the 77-year-old man were also assured that the investigation into his death will be independent. It has now been revealed that the trust is investigating the circumstances of the death of another patient, a woman, which occurred in January. The assurances came af-

ter a meeting with health trust officials on Monday, 2nd April, when it was ex-

plained that the family will be allowed to meet with staff who were on duty on

the night of 6th March. The trust also told the man’s family that, given the situ-

ation again, the hospital would have carried out a post-mortem examination on their father. Since no such procedure took place, the man’s partner and family are “particularly distressed” that they do not know the exact cause of death. The victim, who suffered from motor neurone disease, had been left unattended in the A&E department for almost 24 hours on a night so busy it was described by his partner as “chaotic”. Staff were trying to secure him a hospital bed when he died. Referring to the investigation into both deaths, the trust said its lines of inquiry would focus on

events leading up to the deaths and how care was delivered. John Dallat MLA, who spoke for the family after they declined to be identified, said trust officials, including the chief executive, apologised to the family and had accepted “it was a combination of failings” which led to the pensioner dying alone on the trolley. The SDLP man said: “The family were also told that all senior doctors have been briefed and working schedules changed to focus on the radical changes which have been implemented.” He added that the trust said no patient will ever spend more than 12 hours in a trolley wait.

Garda Commissioner Rejects Ryanair’s Extraordinary Measures to Save Fuel Call to Arm More Gardaí

Speaking at the annual conference of the Association of Garda Sergeants and Inspectors in Wexford last night, the Garda commissioner, Martin Callinan, said that more than 3,500 Gardaí were licensed to carry firearms. He was responding to concerns expressed by sergeants and inspectors of the capacity of Gardaí to deal with criminals using powerful weapons. Middle-ranking officers criticised the decision to withdraw the Uzi submachine gun because they say they could end up facing better armed criminals. Meanwhile, the commissioner has said he is still consulting with the Director of Public Prosecutions before deciding whether to commence a criminal investiga-

tion into the findings of the Moriarty Report. The Criminal Assets Bureau carried out a review of the Moriarty Tribunal report which was sent to the DPP. The tribunal found there were financial links between businessman Denis O’Brien and former minister Michael Lowry. During his time as Minister for Communications, Mr Lowry awarded

the second mobile phone licence to Mr O’Brien’s company. Mr Callinan said a criminal investigation into the matter has not been commenced. The tribunal report was hugely complex, he said, and it was only right and prudent that he should consult with the law officers. He said this was not a precedent.

Man Hospitalised After Shooting

A young man is being treated in hospital after he was shot at his home in Strabane, Co Tyrone. Police say the victim was assaulted before he was shot. The victim was shot in the leg after a number of men entered the property at Carlton

Drive in the Ballycolman estate shortly before 10.30pm on Tuesday night (3rd April). The man’s girlfriend and daughter were in the house at the time. Police say the victim was assaulted before he was shot. His injuries are not believed to be life-threatening.

Ryanair is reducing the size of its inflight magazine, serving passengers less ice – and even asking cabin crew to watch their figures – as part of efforts to trim its fuel bill. With the price of jet fuel rising sharply in recent years, airlines have devised ever more imaginative methods to reduce the weight of their aircraft. “We cut costs wherever possible, and the changes will represent a significant reduction in weight,” said Stephen McNamara, a spokesman for Ryanair. “We also considered removing armrests, but decided against it. We even encourage staff to watch their weight – with the motivation of appearing in the annual Ryanair calendar.” It has also been a vocal supporter of an airline “fat tax”, under which overweight passengers would be asked to pay more. “Let’s Go with Ryanair” – the magazine given to all passengers who fly with the nofrills carrier – will now be published on A5 paper, rather than A4. It will also double as an in-flight menu, a move that could reduce its fuel bill by thousands of pounds and cut printing costs by more than 400,800 Euros. Other policies implemented by Ryanair include cutting the amount of ice taken on board a flight, and reducing the weight of trolleys and seats.

Measures taken by other carriers include the removal of magazine racks and rubbish bins and the replacement of glassware in first-class cabins with plastic cups. In 2008, Air Canada removed life vests from some of its aircraft in favour of lighter floatation devices. Authorities approved the change, so long as it was limited to aircraft which didn’t venture more than 50 miles from the shore. And in the 1980s, Robert Crandall, the former chief executive of American Airlines, claimed the carrier had made annual savings of $40,000 by removing one olive from every salad served on board its flights. Despite the rising cost of fuel, Ryanair says it remains committed to its promise not to introduce fuel surcharges - unlike such airlines such as British Airways and Virgin Atlantic. BA currently levies a fuel surcharge of up to £145 on long-haul flights. “Fuel is an integral part of the fare – you can’t fly passengers anywhere without it,” said Mr McNamara. “We would rather make cost reductions and charge passengers for other services.” Last week Qantas announced that it would increase its fuel surcharge by between AUS$10 and AUS$30 on its flights from 12th April.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 national news

Austerity needed to avoid fate of Greece, Ireland and Portugal, says PM Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, on Monday (2nd April) blamed the swingeing cuts in spending included in this year’s state budget on the errors of the previous administration, and argued that without the austerity drive Spain would face the same fate as Ireland, Portugal and Greece in needing a bailout. The public deficit last year came in at 8.5 per cent of GDP instead of the six per cent pledged by the outgo-

ing Socialist government. The Rajoy administration last Friday unveiled an austerity budget including savings of 27 billion euros, in order to meet the deficit target for this year of 5.3 per cent of GDP. “If the previous government had met its deficit target of six per cent, the cuts would have been 18 billion euros less,” Rajoy told a meeting of his Popular Party’s executive committee. Rajoy said there is “no alternative” to unpopular measures such as the budg-

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et and a drastic overhaul of the country’s labour laws. “We are taking measures that we don’t like, but we have no alternative,” he said in a speech that was televised for journalists. Rajoy said that if Spain failed to cut its deficit, no one would want to finance the country. “This is not theoretical, because it has happened to some EU countries and is happening here in Spain with some public administrations,” he said.

First ETA Inmate Moved On Grounds Of Compassion

In a first gesture toward sick ETA members serving jail sentences, the Interior Ministry has transferred Aitzol Gogorza from a Seville prison to one in Basauri, Bizkaia. Since ETA announced a unilateral ceasefire in October of last year, the group — as well as the Basque radical abertzale left, the Socialists in the region and the Basque Nationalist Party — has been calling on the government to make penitentiary concessions as a stepping stone toward the definitive disbandment of the organization. In this case, the government was at pains to point out that the transfer of Gogorza was based on adherence to the Penal Code and penitentiary law: the ETA inmate, 37, suffers from severe

mental health problems and has been on suicide watch since last November. The Interior Ministry has said it will study each case individually. Two ETA prisoners, José Ángel Biguri Camino and Gotzone López de Luzuriaga, have taken their cases for release directly to the courts. They were members of the Araba military cell, responsible for, among other attacks, bombing a Civil Guard barracks in 1989. Both suffer from terminal cancer.

Skull of Europe’s Biggest Dinosaur Found In Aragón

The Dinópolis Paleontology Foundation in Teruel, Aragón have presented to the press the fossil skull of a Turiasaurus Riodevensis, the ‘European giant’; an important find that will help complete the skeleton of this dinosaur that lived 145 million years ago and whose bones were first found in 2003. The remains, more than 24 cranial bones and seven teeth, were put on display in the Paleontology Laboratory of the Dinópolis Foundation. They were found in 2005 at the Barrihonda-El Humero site near the town of Riodeva. According to researchers, the skulls of these dinosaurs “are rarely preserved” because they are extremely fragile - four out of five sauropods found have no cranium at all. This time, however, the scientists have been able to recover information relating to 70% of the skull after several years of preparation and research. Turiasaurus Riodevensis - about 30 or 35 metres in length - thus becomes the most complete sauropod found on the Iberian Peninsula”, according to palaeontologists who have

published these new findings in the Journal of Systematic Palaeontology. The fossil remains on show confirm that it was a herbivorous dinosaur with a skull measuring about 78cm in diameter.

Spain in Hot Water Over Boat Tragedy Spain is facing heavy criticism after 61 African migrants, including two babies, died of thirst and starvation while adrift in the Mediterranean. A nine-month investigation revealed that a catalogue of failures involving Spain, Italy and NATO, had led to a tragedy that ‘could have been avoided’. It found that distress calls went unanswered for days, despite ships, including a Spanish frigate, Méndez Núñez, being in the immediate vicinity. The Council of Europe report highlights errors by military and commercial vessels sailing nearby, plus

ambiguity in the coastguards’ distress calls. It also claims there was confusion about which authorities were responsible for mounting a rescue. “Many opportunities for saving the lives of the persons on board the boat were lost,” the report says. It adds that those who

died ‘could have been rescued if all those involved had complied with their obligations’. In a letter to the inquiry, Spain’s defence ministry claimed the Méndez Núñez had not received any communication about the migrant boat, contradicting Nato’s claims.

It would have weighed 40 tonnes and had 60 teeth in its mouth. The humorous found in 2003 measured 179 centimetres, and is another contribution to the skeleton of this animal, which is now about 55% complete. Researcher Rafael Royo explained that the team of palaeontologists took two years to prepare the material “thoroughly” bone by bone, comparing each one with other known and identified fossils. Royo also confirmed that in addition to the skull fossil, remains were found of the neck, the vertebrae, front and rear legs, hips and shoulder blade, and added that the finding of the head confirms this species, Turiasaurus Riodevensis. Researchers first mentioned this species in 2006, when they published their initial findings in Science Magazine. The reconstructed skull can be seen in Titania - Dinópolis’ newest visitor centre in Riodeva (Teruel), which is scheduled to open in the summer.

Spanish Emigration to Germany on the Rise

The number of Spanish citizens living in Germany increased by 4.5% in 2011 making a total of 4,792 people, according to the German Federal Office of Statistics (Destatis). In total, the number of foreign residents grew by 177,300 people, a 2.6% jump, reaching a total of 6.93 million and representing the largest increase in the last 15 years. The changes have been motivated primarily by the financial crisis in Southern Europe (and particularly countries like Portugal, Spain, Italy and Greece) and the free movement of labour from the two European Union countries from Eastern Europe, which

came into force in May 2011. According to a consulting firm specialising in studying abroad, The Georgian Manor House, the number of Spaniards studying in Germany last year soared by 65%, reaching a total of 5,491 people. 1,800 young people have put themselves forward for exams to work in the automotive field. The fact that Germany has also formally promoted its search for professional people, such as engineers, doctors and teachers in Spain, organising seminars in Madrid and Barcelona to promote labour mobility, has also contributed to this process. Given its status as an in-

dustrial power, Germany is on the lookout for engineers and other skilled personnel. Earlier this month, 1,800 young Spanish engineers took exams in the hope of getting a job with Volkswagen or Audi in Germany. In total, Spanish emigration to Europe has increased by 37%, with Germany the main host country. However, competition for jobs means that migrants often have to take on oneday contracts for lower wages. The Spanish Employment Minister, Fátima Bánez has publicly dismissed the possibility of implementing this type of contract here in Spain.

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national news

Airport Taxes Will Rise by Almost 19%

The draft State Budget for 2012 includes an increase in airport taxes of around 19% on average, with larger increases for passengers using Madrid-Barajas and Barcelona airports, where taxes will almost double. The Association of Spanish Air Transport Companies (ACETA), the Airlines Association (ALA) and Spanish Airports and Air Navigation (Aena) put the rise in airport charges at 18.9% on average across Spanish airports, although the latter notes that the rate of air navigation route will drop by 7.5%. The “global” impact of these increases on passengers will equate to about a 10% price rise, airport operators explained, although passengers using Madrid

and Barcelona airports will see greater increases. Airport taxes per passenger on flights operated between Madrid and the European Economic Area go from 6.95 Euros to 14.44 Euros, while those at Barcelona’s El Prat airport rise from 6.12 Euros to 13.44 Euros. Taxes on long-haul flights increase from 10.43 Euros to 20.44 Euros in the case of Madrid and from 9.18 Euros to 16.44 Euros in Barcelona. At Alicante, Gran Canaria, Palma de Mallorca, Málaga, Costa del Sol and Tenerife airports, passenger taxes for routes within the European Economic Area routes go from 5.70 Euros to 5.99 Euros and from 8.60 Euros to 9.03 Euros for long-haul

routes. Aena sources have stressed that Spanish airport fees are “43.5% cheaper than the European average.” They also explained that Aena recovered only 63.5% of its costs in 2011 and that the purpose of tax increases is improve this recovery rate. Aena also regretted that the “large” increases have coincided with weak demand in the market and record fuel prices, thus “aggravating the situation for airlines and failing to facilitate tourist movement when it is precisely this sector, one of the few that has been able to maintain its contribution to the GDP and to create jobs despite the recession.”

Red Tape Leaves Spanish-Born Brit in 20-Year Limbo

Until last week, 20-yearold Jade Jacob-Brooks did not officially exist. A bureaucratic mix up by a Spanish hospital and intransigence by the British authorities meant that the 20-year-old was unable to obtain a birth certificate, meaning that she could not obtain a passport, a driving license, or even apply for a job. The Spanish authorities issued the incorrect docu-

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mentation, and without a valid Spanish birth certificate she has never been able to register her birth in Britain. The problem came to a head four years ago when she applied for a Saturday job but was turned down because she was unable to provide her ID. Jade was born on 25th September, 1991 at the Vega Baja Hospital, near Alicante on the Costa Blanca, as her parents Linda and Victor enjoyed a holiday.

A series of misunderstandings and bureaucratic errors meant they left Spain without the correct documentation, and have spent the last two decades trying to sort it out. Her parents were told they had been given the correct documentation by the hospital to register the birth. But when they returned to England the UK registrars refused to accept the details as proof of birth. Her father Victor returned

Mother and Daughter Testify In Child-Snatching Inquiry

Marisa Torres and her 29-year-old daughter, Pilar, with whom she was reunited last year, left a Madrid courtroom in tears on Tuesday (3rd April.) They had just told a judge how a Catholic nun, Sister María Gómez Valbuena, now 80, allegedly stole Pilar soon after birth and sold her on to another family. “She has done a lot of harm to a lot of families. If she isn’t put in jail or punished, then she will be punished in another life,” Pilar said. The case filed against Sister María is the first inquiry to be officially opened by a Spanish judge over the alleged existence of a baby-snatching conspiracy, which to Alicante when Jade was a toddler to confront Spanish officials in person — but they told him the hospital had no record of his daughter’s birth. Finally, after a more than four-year battle involving a law firm, the Spanish authorities have issued Jade with a birth certificate. In a moment of desperation she wrote to the Queen asking for help, but was told the matter was “not a human rights issue.” Jade missed school trips and even stayed at home alone when the rest of her family went on holidays abroad “My 18th birthday was not the big landmark that other people’s were,”

may have lasted from as early as the 1940s up until the 1990s at public hospitals around the country. Dozens of complaints have been filed by parents, who claim that they were told their newborns died at birth, when in fact they were adopted by childless families. In Pilar’s case, it was her adopted father, Alejandro, who was instrumental in helping her to track down her biological mother. “It was very, very painful for me, having to retell this story,” said Marisa, after testifying. “Now the judge knows the truth. Sister María deserves the most severe punishment.”

she said. “Everyone was going to bars and clubs but I couldn’t go because I had no ID.” Jade, who hopes to work as an administrator in the City of London, said: “It’s been incredibly frustrating. My mum and dad thought they had the right papers to register me in the UK. But

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when they were translated they were told they had the wrong paperwork. We were told it wasn’t my right to have a birth certificate.” Now Jade says that as soon as she can get a passport she intends to go abroad for a holiday. “But there’s no way I’m going to Spain.”

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tv guide

tELEVISION & ENTERTAINMENT guide

Keith Lemon’s LemonAid ITV 1 Saturday 7th April 6:15pm

Keith Lemon brings his unique brand of mischief and anarchy to the masses in this exciting new series for ITV1 which sees him on a mission to satisfy the public’s needs…in his own special way. Keith will meet real people with real dreams, desires and dilemmas and strive to bring LemonAid to those who need it. From helping the nation with their niggles, to making their dreams come true, this is a warm hearted wish fulfilment show… with a big twist of Lemon! Each week Keith will be joined in the studio by a different celebrity helper – this week it is the legendary Cilla Black. Rizzle Kicks will also give a unique performance and the whole audience will have the chance to win prizes in the epic game Lemon Drops. Keith Lemon told ITV 1, “I’m very excited to be in t’ living rooms of the lovely ITV1 viewers with me new telly show LEMONAID. Solving people’s problems and making dreams come true making me look nice like Cheryl Cole like when she went out to ‘t troops. She’s lovely in’it she not as fit as Kelly Brook though! If anyone has ever dreamed of meeting her let me know I can hook you up, I know her in real life. All’t best!”

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tv guide

f r i d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:00am ��Animal 24:7 9:45am ��Homes Under the Hammer 10:45am �� My Worst Deal 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:00pm ��The Preston Passion 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:15pm ��National Treasure: Book of Secrets Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates seeks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth’s diary. 3:10pm �� Cars After becoming stranded in a small town, an arrogant rookie sports car finds love and discovers the true meaning of friendship. 5:00pm ��Match of the Day Live Jake Humphrey is at Oakwell for live coverage of Barnsley’s Championship game against promotion-chasing West Ham. 7:25pm ��BBC News 8:00pm ��EastEnders Dot’s conviction about Andrew’s guilt starts to waver in the face of his declaration of undying love for Heather. Derek decides that he can no longer run his empire from Jack’s sofa. 8:30pm.............Titanic with Len Goodman In this edition, he discovers how eight men who helped build the Titanic went down with her on that fateful night. 9:00pm ��Land of the Lost Wolves Two-part natural history series following the fortunes of one very special pack of wolves as they return to North America’s West Coast. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:20pm ��New Tricks When the team reinvestigate a 30-year-old safety deposit robbery, they find themselves unwittingly drawn into a case involving highlevel police corruption that threatens the future of UCOS. 11:20pm ��The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11:30pm �� EastEnders Omnibus

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:35am.....................Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am............................................ Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am �� Alphablocks 8:35am ��Abadas 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am ��Andy’s Wild Adventures 9:55am ��Tree Fu Tom 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:25am ��Dipdap 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am ��The Gumball Rally 1:15pm..................................................... Animal Park 2:15pm ��To Buy or Not to Buy 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Breakaway 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Just a Minute 6:30pm............................................Eggheads 7:00pm �� Golf 8:00pm �� Mastermind 8:30pm..............................Gardeners’ World 9:00pm �� Brick by Brick 10:00pm ��Twenty Twelve 10:30pm ��QI XL 11:15pm �� Minority Report

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:15am ��Murder, She Wrote 12:15pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:35pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 1:05pm ��Dragonheart 3:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:15pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:30pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Chas is a mess in the wake of losing Aaron. Declan and Jai show Megan and Charity who is boss. Zak cannot face telling Chas that he could have tried harder to stop Aaron. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Karl’s secrets begin to unravel. Carla is left stunned by Sally’s offer. Tina supports Tommy through a difficult time. 8:00pm.............................. Poms in Paradise In this episode, cameras meet Maralyn, whose new life has come at a cost, as well as hairdresser Jayne, who is expecting an important visitor, and diver Liam, who gets up close and personal with some sharks. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Stella reaches breaking point as the extent of Karl’s lies comes to light. Has Tina made a terrible mistake? Eileen and Paul look to the future. 9:00pm ��Benidorm Joyce becomes convinced that new guest Mrs Simmonds is the hotel assessor, but her attempts to impress do not start smoothly when Mrs Simmonds witnesses Joyce evicting a furious Kenneth from his salon for late payment of rent. 10:00pm �� This is Lionel Richie Soul legend Lionel Richie performs his biggest and best-loved hits live in front of a studio audience. 11:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 11:15pm �� Miami Vice Florida detectives Crockett and Tubbs are drafted in to help with an FBI investigation into a Cuban-Chinese narcotics cartel.

6:05am ��Sali Mali 6:10am �� The Treacle People 6:20am ��The Hoobs 7:15am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:40am ��According to Jim 8:05am ��According to Jim 8:35am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:05am ��Frasier 9:40am..................................................King of Kings 12:45pm �� The Searchers 3:05pm �� Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... 2012 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons When Bart floods the school gym during a visit from the fire department, Principal Skinner gives Homer and Marge two options: Either Bart gets expelled, or he can become the test subject for Focusin. 6:30pm............................................Hollyoaks Tony goes head-to-head with Doug and Ste as the winning bidder for the deli is revealed, but can Doug go through with his deal with Brendan? 7:00pm................................ Channel 4 News 7:30pm...................................... 4thought.tv 7:35pm.................... Marrying Prince Harry Since Kate Middleton married Prince William, Prince Harry has been thrust into the spotlight as the most eligible bachelor in Britain. 8:00pm......................... Come Dine with Me Doing battle are customer services coordinator Janet McCabe, nursery manager Rick Monk, office manager Sue Braithwaite, and theatre and film director Graham Easterlow. 9:00pm �� The Million Pound Drop 10:30pm �� Rude Tube 11:35pm �� The Mad Bad Ad Show Team captains Micky Flanagan and Mark Watson are both joined by a famous guest and an ad industry insider to be quizzed about classic ads from the past, present and overseas.

This is Lionel Richie ITV1 - 10:00 - 11:00 pm ITV brings one of the world’s biggest music stars, Lionel Richie onto this unique stage for one night only. Guaranteed to be the hottest ticket in town, This Is Lionel Richie, produced by ITV Studios, will see the global superstar perform his biggest and most loved hits live in front of a studio audience. Lionel will also be joined on stage singing unmissable

duets with singing sensation Pixie Lott and X Factor star Rebecca Ferguson. The show will also feature an exclusive interview the legendary singer from his house in LA, conducted by Christine Bleakley. The Oscar and Grammy award winning singer songwriter, who has dominated the charts over the last four decades with a string of hits including Endless Love, Hello,

Easy and Dancing On The Ceiling, will be bringing his infectious blend of R&B and soul to this intimate stage. Lionel Richie said “I am so excited to be doing this show for ITV1. I always enjoy performing in front of an audience and I love being here in the UK, all my British based fans make me feel so welcome. I can’t wait to sing some of my classic hits; it’s always so special singing them.

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6 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��LIVE with Gabby 12:25pm...........................................Meerkat Manor 12:55pm.........................................Home and Away 1:25pm ��Neighbours 1:55pm ��NCIS 2:50pm ��High Society 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm......................................................Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� Inside Hollywood 6:35pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 7:00pm �� Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 8:00pm ��Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 9:00pm.................................... The Mentalist 10:00pm................................................ Castle 11:00pm �� Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:55pm �� Inside Hollywood

6:00am ��Coronation Street 6:25am ��Emmerdale 7:15am ��Loose Women 8:05am ��The Hot Desk 8:15am �� Judge Judy 9:10am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:10am ��Dennis 12:00pm ��Coronation Street 12:30pm...................................................Emmerdale 1:00pm......................................................Emmerdale 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� All Star Family Fortunes 4:25pm.................................You’ve Been Framed! 4:55pm �� Happy Feet 7:00pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 8:00pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 9:00pm ��American Idol 10:00pm �� Ocean’s Twelve

7:00pm ��The Borrowers Family adventure based on Mary Norton’s classic children’s books. The borrowers are tiny people who live under the floorboards, resourcefully surviving by borrowing bits and pieces from the large residents who dwell above. 8:30pm ��Kung Fu Panda Computer-animated comedy. Po the Panda is overweight and works in his father’s noodle bar but dreams of being a great Kung Fu warrior like his heroes, the Furious Five. 9:55pm �� Great Movie Mistakes 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm....................................... Family Guy After an interview at Brown University, Meg realises that she needs more extracurricular activities to gain entrance to this prestigious school. 11:45pm �� American Dad! Having complained about the lack of time he gets to himself at home, a co-worker gives Stan pills that allow him to stay up all night but not feel tired.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am.............................. Relocation, Relocation 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:25am ��King Solomon’s Mines 1:25pm �� The Landscape Man 2:30pm.................................... Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Carry on Laughing 6:40am ��Heartbeat 7:45am.................... Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:45am.................................. Jeeves and Wooster 9:55am..............................................Terry and June 10:30am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:40am ��That’s Carry on 1:30pm ��The Likely Lads 3:25pm ��George and Mildred 5:15pm ��On the Buses

6:00am ��UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals 6:20am �� Quantum Leap 7:15am ��The Saint 8:15am................ World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:05am ��Support Your Local Sheriff! 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Matt Smith and Shonali Nagrani are joined by Simon Hughes and John Emburey for a double bill of action from the IPL beginning with Sachin Tendulkar’s Mumbai Indians up against the Pune Warriors.

7:05pm ��Carry on Camping A pair of likely lads trick their girlfriends into accompanying them to a nudist colony - but it turns out to be a family campsite. 9:00pm ��Carry on Follow That Camel Comedy about a young English aristocrat who, unjustly disgraced by accusations of cheating, joins the Foreign Legion and comes across a Bilko-like sergeant with a fort full of nervous legionnaires. 10:50pm...............................That’s Carry on

Marrying Prince Harry Channel 4 - 7:35 - 8:00 pm Since Kate Middleton married Prince William, Prince Harry has been thrust into the spotlight as the most eligible bachelor in Britain. Third in line to the throne, the remaining handsome prince has become an object of desire for girls across the globe. Marrying Prince Harry follows five young women determined to snag their Prince Charming. The film follows 21-year-old American friends Cassie and Whitney who grew up in rural Iowa, watching Disney movies and dreaming they would one day marry Prince Harry.

They’ve done their research and plan to hit his favourite haunts, from polo clubs to exclusive Mayfair nightspots. But they have strong competition from the ‘queens’ of the social network in East London. Thanks to Twitter, school friends Joy and Jade know Prince Harry’s whereabouts at any time, day or night. Whether he’s partying in Croatia or flying Apache helicopters, they will know within seconds. Sixteen-year-old Joy has an engagement ring for the prince for when the right moment comes to propose.

6:50pm �� Celebrity Come Dine with Me In this celebrity episode, Diane Abbott MP takes on TV presenter and motor-mouth Terry Christian, serial WAG Danielle Lloyd, and ballet dancer Wayne Sleep. 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm.................................................... Juno Jason Reitman’s comedy drama stars Oscarnominee Ellen Page as Juno McGuff, 16 and pregnant after an encounter with sometime boyfriend Paulie Bleeker. 10:55pm �� Country House Rescue

8:00pm ��UEFA Europa League Highlights 9:00pm.............................. Lethal Weapon 2 In an explosive sequel to the original blockbuster thriller, psychotic LA cop Martin Riggs and his long-suffering partner Roger Murtaugh are assigned to guard an embezzling accountant due to testify before a federal commission. 11:20pm ��Ticker

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7:00am ��In Too Deep A rookie detective dreams of working undercover, and is finally given the chance to investigate one of the underworld’s most notorious crime bosses - but his superiors soon begin to doubt his loyalty and wonder if he has joined the gang. 8:49am �� FXM Presents 9:00am ��I the Jury A private eye enters the underworld in his efforts to expose a villainous plot hatched by the CIA. 11:00am �� Karroll’s Christmas After a humiliating experience at Christmas, Allen Karroll develops a hatred of the season - an unfortunate dislike, since he writes greetings cards for a living. 12:35pm �� Murder Once Removed A doctor sets an expiration date with a rich patient’s wife. 2:00pm ��Rhinestone Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton star in this comedy about a bar-room singer who bets her obnoxious employer she can transform a rough-and-ready taxi driver into a Country and Western singer. 4:00pm ��Worth Winning A TV weatherman’s buddy bets him he cannot talk three women into marriage, and prove it on video. 5:59pm ��Where the Heart Is Natalie Portman stars as a pregnant teenager who is left shattered when she’s abandoned by her boyfriend. In desperation, she makes a home for herself in a local supermarket, where she remains until the birth of her baby. 8:00pm �� Mystery, Alaska Residents of a small town pour all their enthusiasm into the local hockey team, so when they’re challenged to beat a formidable and wealthy New York side, expectations are high. 9:50pm ��FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Alvin and the Chipmunks A 21st-century adventure for the entertaining little critters who were created in 1958. A struggling songwriter’s home is invaded by a mischievous trio of talking chipmunks: Alvin, Simon and Theodore. 11:47pm ��FXM Presents

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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s a tu r d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 10:00am ��Saturday Kitchen 11:30am ��The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 12:00pm �� BBC News 12:10pm ��BBC London News 12:15pm............................................. Football Focus 1:00pm............................................... The Boat Race Clare Balding presents live coverage of the annual rowing battle along London’s River Thames between the competing eights of Oxford and Cambridge universities. 3:05pm ��Golf Hazel Irvine presents highlights from day two of golf’s first major of the year, the Masters from Augusta. 4:20pm �� Final Score 5:15pm......................................................... BBC News 5:25pm........................................BBC London News 5:35pm ��Shrek Computer-animated fantasy about a reclusive green ogre called Shrek whose life of solitude is disrupted by a horde of refugees who have been banished by the evil Lord Farquaad. 7:00pm ��The Voice UK Blind Auditions. Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates host the penultimate round of blind auditions as the search for The Voice continues. 8:20pm ��The National Lottery: In It to Win It 9:10pm ��Casualty Dylan and Sam are forced to work together and confront the problems in their relationship when they are both sent to assist at a dramatic cave rescue. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:20pm �� Match of the Day Gary Lineker introduces the best of the action and reaction from the day’s seven Premier League matches, with studio guests Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson providing expert analysis. 11:50pm ��The Football League Show Action from all the day’s games, plus those taking place on Good Friday, presented by Manish Bhasin.

6:00am ��Harry and Toto 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am....................................................Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Gastronuts 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am �� Pixelface 8:35am ��Prank Patrol Down Under 9:00am..................................................The Slammer 9:30am ��The Ministry of Curious Stuff 10:00am ��Animals at Work 10:30am ��Splatalot 11:00am..................................................Hacker Time 11:25am �� Ooglies 11:40am �� MOTD Kickabout 12:00pm ��The Sky at Night 12:20pm ��Road to Rio 2:00pm ��Bringing Up Baby Classic screwball comedy about a madcap heiress who makes a shambles of an absentminded palaeontologist’s life when she arrives on the scene complete with her pet leopard. 3:35pm �� Escape to the Country 4:05pm �� Flog It! 5:05pm......................... Easter from King’s 2012: Passiontide to Easter An Easter commemoration featuring the world-famous choir of King’s College, Cambridge. Pieces by Handel, Tchaikovsky, Faure, Franck, Mendelssohn, Victoria, Vaughan Williams and others are sung by the choir led by director of music Stephen Cleobury. 6:20pm ��Dad’s Army 6:50pm ��Natural World 7:40pm ��Timewatch 8:30pm �� Golf The Masters. Hazel Irvine presents live third round coverage from golf’s richlyanticipated first major of 2012, the Masters from Augusta. 12:00am �� The Sarah Millican Television Programme

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6:00am ��Signed Stories 6:10am �� Engie Benjy 6:20am ��Pocoyo 6:30am �� Fluffy Gardens 6:40am �� Fluffy Gardens 6:45am ��The Hive 6:55am ��The Hive 7:05am �� Soli and Mo’s Nature Show 7:10am ��Sooty 7:25am ��Monk 7:30am �� X-Men 7:50am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:05am ��Hannah Montana 8:30am ��Hannah Montana 9:00am �� Fort Boyard - Ultimate Challenge 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 10:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:20am ��The Real Housewives of New York City 12:20pm ��Murder, She Wrote 1:20pm ��ITV News and Weather 1:25pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 1:55pm ��The Secret of My Succe$s 3:55pm ��Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 5:45pm ��London Tonight 6:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid Keith Lemon brings his unique brand of mischief and anarchy to this exciting new series which sees him embark on a mission to satisfy the needs of the public - in his own special way. 7:00pm ��All New You’ve Been Framed! 7:30pm ��Harry Hill’s the Best of TV Burp 8:00pm �� Britain’s Got Talent 9:15pm ��Take Me Out 10:45pm �� ITV News and Weather 11:00pm ��Magicians Comedy from the makers of the sitcom Peep Show. After a guillotine-based trick goes wrong, two magic partners become mortal enemies.

6:05am ��The Hoobs 7:00am �� Mobil 1 The Grid 7:25am........................................... British Rallycross 7:55am ��The Morning Line 8:55am ��Koko Pop 9:25am ��Olly Murs 9:55am ��Made in Chelsea 10:55am ��Charlie’s Angels 11:55am ��The Big Bang Theory 12:50pm �� The Simpsons 1:55pm ��Channel 4 Racing Kempton Park, Haydock Park and Musselburgh. It’s Easter fun all the way at Kempton, with their traditional all-weather fixture, the centrepiece of which is the Snowdrop Fillies’ Stakes. 4:05pm �� Come Dine with Me First to host in Bristol is all-singing, alldancing theatre darling Richard HopeHawkins, whose eclectic menu divides his guests before they’ve even arrived. 4:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:45pm �� Channel 4 News 7:10pm �� 4thought.tv 7:15pm �� Deal or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as contestants do battle with the Banker in their quest to leave the Dream Factory with £250,000. 8:10pm.................Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Celebrations are always a family affair and in The Family, the final episode of the current series, Irish Traveller family the McFadyens celebrate key life events over a series of months. 9:10pm ��The Million Pound Drop Live Extraordinary game show in which contestants can win or lose life-changing amounts of money live on TV. 10:45pm ��Showgirls Paul Verhoeven’s glitzy, goodtime-yetcontroversial film stars Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi Malone, the new girl at the Stardust Club, where the speciality is lap dancing.

Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Channel 4 - 8:10 - 9:10 pm While the traditional way of life is evolving, the large extended family unit remains at the heart of the Traveller community. Celebrations are always a family affair and in The Family, the final episode of the current series, Irish Traveller family the McFadyens celebrate key

life events over a series of months. Recently convicted Josie is planning the christening of her six-monthold daughter, but still finds the time to decorate her electronic tag with bling. The family is also excited about the release of the family patriarch

Chris from prison, who they plan to pick up in a stretch limousine. And 16-year-old Cheyenne and cage-fighter John are engaged to be married, with Cheyenne facing the daunting task of organising her wedding as she deals with the recent death of her mother.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

7 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Mr. Men Show 9:30am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:40am ��Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:00am ��Meerkat Manor 10:30am �� Holiday Heaven on Earth 11:15am ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 12:15pm ��Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 1:15pm ��Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 2:20pm ��Ambush at Tomahawk Gap 3:45pm �� War Arrow 5:20pm �� Two Mules for Sister Sara 7:10pm ��5 News Weekend 7:15pm ��NCIS 8:05pm ��NCIS 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:55pm �� Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:50pm �� Inside Hollywood

6:00am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 8:00am �� Emmerdale Omnibus 11:00am �� Take Me Out 12:15pm �� Take Me Out - The Gossip 1:00pm �� Harry Hill’s the Best of TV Burp 1:30pm �� All Star Family Fortunes 2:15pm ��The Cube 3:15pm ��American Idol 5:05pm ��American Idol 6:05pm..................................The Borrowers Comic adventure based on the Mary Norton novels about a family of people only four inches tall who live beneath the floorboards of a human house. 8:00pm �� The Zoo 9:00pm �� Planet’s Funniest Animals 9:15pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 10:15pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:45pm �� Take Me Out - The Gossip 11:45pm ��Celebrity Juice

7:00pm ��Doctor Who On the planet Messaline, in the middle of an endless war, the Doctor meets the most important woman of his life. 7:50pm �� Great Movie Mistakes 8:10pm ��Shrek: Once Upon a Time David Tennant narrates a celebratory look at how an ogre with a Scottish accent singlehandedly changed the face of animation. 9:10pm �� Shrek 2 Animated sequel following the grumpy ogre and his bride as they head for the land of Far Far Away to meet her parents. 10:35pm �� World Series of Dating Comedy reality series in which four distinctive and especially selective girls govern the ‘datezone’ as a number of guys try to last as long as they can over a dinner date. 11:00pm �� Family Guy Still out of work and now grotesquely overweight, Peter finally decides to find his true calling: fishing. 11:50pm �� American Dad!

8:55am �� Time Team 12:10pm ��Knights of the Round Table 2:25pm �� Grand Designs 3:30pm ��Relocation: Phil Down Under 4:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 5:40pm ��Location, Location, Location

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Jeeves and Wooster 7:10am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:20am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 9:35am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:45am ��Poirot 11:55am ��Carry on Camping 1:40pm ��Carry on Follow That Camel 3:40pm ��Carry on Jack 5:35pm ��Carry on Up the Jungle

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am ��The Saint 7:05am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 7:55am �� Police Stop! 8:55am �� The Big Match Revisited 9:55am ��UEFA Champions League Weekly 10:25am ��Tommy Cooper 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Matt Smith and Shonali Nagrani with Simon Hughes.

7:25pm ��Carry on Henry Henry VIII is up in arms about the garlic breath of his wife, Marie de Normandy. Although he finds it a turn-off, his equerry, Sir Roger de Loggerley, is enamoured by it and becomes her lover. 9:15pm �� Carry on Cleo After being trounced in Europe, Caesar dispatches Antony to forge an alliance with Ptolemy, who is squabbling with Cleopatra for the Egyptian throne. 11:05pm ��Carry on Jack

8:00pm ��Rookie Builders 9:00pm ��British Touring Car Championship Highlights Brands Hatch. Steve Rider presents highlights from the opening three races from Brands Hatch as the touring car season begins. 10:30pm ��Ticker Tense action thriller in which a pair of San Francisco cops, along with the help of an explosives expert, must take on a terrorist gang threatening to detonate bombs all over the city.

Casualty BBC1 - 9:10 - 10:00 pm Casualty goes underground this week when Connie Fisher guest stars as a dog walker who becomes trapped in a cavern. Can Sam and Dylan stop arguing and pull off a daring subterranean rescue? David and Amanda (Fisher) are out walking their dogs when the ground gives way and they become trapped

in an underground cave system. Sam braves her fear of the dark to treat them but it soon becomes apparent that both are seriously injured and she needs support. Help arrives in the form of Dylan but, as David confesses he has been too cowardly to ask Amanda out, Dylan and Sam start bickering about cowardice

in their marriage. As both Amanda and David’s conditions deteriorate, can Sam and Dylan put aside their differences to save them? With Linda bracing herself for family court, niece Britney comes into the ED and tries to get her into trouble by stealing from a patient. Can Zoe make Britney see that living with Linda might not be such a bad option?

6:50pm �� The Restoration Man Architect George Clarke tries to advise two stubborn romantics who own derelict military towers and dream of converting them into unique homes. 7:55pm �� Grand Designs Australia Engineer Peter Riedel and his wife Mary, an interiors importer, bought an 1870s church - which wasn’t upright at the time. 9:00pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare In a candid and revealing series, Sarah Beeny takes on the biggest challenge of her career as she tries to save her stately home in Yorkshire from ruin. 10:05pm �� Juno

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7:00am ��Mystery, Alaska Residents of a small town pour all their enthusiasm into the local hockey team, so when they’re challenged to beat a formidable and wealthy New York side, expectations are high. 8:50am �� FXM Presents 9:00am ��Kiss Me Goodbye Romantic comedy, starring Sally Field as a perky widow whose dead husband returns as a ghost, making her think twice about getting hitched again. 11:00am ��Jingle All the Way A workaholic father tries to make up for his perpetual absence from home by promising to buy his son a hugely popular action figure for Christmas - little realising every other father in town has the same idea. 12:31pm ��Thunderhead: Son of Flicka A rancher’s young son tries to make a racehorse out of a white colt foaled by his friend Flicka. 2:00pm ��Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie The tyrannical Ivan Ooze is accidentally released from his super-secure prison by dim-witted construction workers after 6,000 years in captivity. 4:00pm ��Kidco Adult competitors take a boy and his sisters to court for cornering the manure market. 5:59pm ��Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and, while his family jets off to Florida, he finds himself heading for New York. 8:00pm ��Alvin and the Chipmunks A 21st-century adventure for the entertaining little critters who were created in 1958. A struggling songwriter’s home is invaded by a mischievous trio of talking chipmunks: Alvin, Simon and Theodore. 9:47pm ��FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Space Chimps As grandson of the first chimpanzee in space, Ham III a free-spirited circus performer is recruited by NASA when a $5 billion craft dissapears into an intergalactic wormhole. 11:41pm ��FXM Presents

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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s und a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 7:30am ��Match of the Day Gary Lineker introduces the best of the action and reaction from the day’s seven Premier League matches, with studio guests Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson providing expert analysis. 9:00am ��The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am ��Easter Day Eucharist From Coventry Cathedral 11:00am ��Urbi et Orbi 11:35am ��Country Tracks 12:35pm �� Escape to the Country 1:35pm �� BBC News 1:45pm ��Human Planet 2:45pm ��Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Day Out The pair blast off in a home-made rocket to test the theory that the moon is made of cheese, and what they find surprises them. 3:10pm ��Mary Poppins Disney’s musical fantasy, combining liveaction with animation, about a highly unorthodox nanny who takes a job with a family in London. 5:25pm ��Songs of Praise 6:00pm ��Titanic with Len Goodman In this edition, he discovers how eight men who helped build the Titanic went down with her on that fateful night. 6:30pm ��BBC News 6:50pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� Countryfile 8:00pm ��Antiques Roadshow 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Nikki stumbles across a sinister underworld where teenage girls are groomed for sex and forced into prostitution. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:15pm ��BBC London News 10:25pm ��Match of the Day 2 Colin Murray is joined by studio guests, including Lee Dixon, for highlights of the day’s Premier League fixtures between Manchester United and QPR, and Arsenal and Manchester City. 11:25pm �� MotoGP

6:00am ��Harry and Toto 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:40am �� Let’s Celebrate 7:00am ��Gastronuts 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Paradise Cafe 8:30am ��Wingin’ It 8:55am ��The Horrible Histories Big Prom Party 10:00am �� Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:35am �� Great British Menu This special documentary follows the successful chefs in the run up to the banquet, as they make the painstaking preparations for one of the most important meals they will ever cook. 12:35pm �� A Distant Trumpet Western about a US Cavalry officer who finds love and adventure at an outpost near the Mexican border towards the end of the 19th century. 2:30pm ��Cycling World Track Championships. Jill Douglas presents all the best of the action from the World Championships at Melbourne’s Hisense Arena, which also hosted track competition at the 2006 Commonwealth Games. 5:00pm ��The Many Faces of Dame Judi Dench The programme shows very early recordings of Dame Judi performing Shakespeare and her first television appearance in Z Cars. 6:00pm ��Frozen Planet This Frozen Planet Christmas Special brings together the very best highlights of the series, taking viewers on a spectacular journey through the entire polar year -from the depths of winter to the melting world of the polar summer. 7:00pm �� Golf The Masters. Hazel Irvine presents live coverage of the final round as golf’s first major of 2012, the Masters from Augusta, Georgia is decided. 12:00am ��Twenty Twelve

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6:00am ��Boblins. Midnight Meddler 6:10am ��Fireman Sam 6:20am ��Babar and the Adventures of Badou 6:35am ��Special Agent Oso 6:45am ��Special Agent Oso 7:00am �� Olly the Little White Van 7:10am ��Tati’s Hotel 7:25am ��Monk 7:30am ��Matt Hatter Chronicles 7:50am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:05am ��Horrid Henry 8:20am ��Horrid Henry 8:30am ��Victorious 8:55am ��Monk 9:00am ��Fort Boyard - Ultimate Challenge 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��Ade in Britain 10:30am ��May the Best House Win 11:30am �� Matt Cardle: Into the Light 12:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:35pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 1:50pm........................Planet’s Funniest Animals 2:15pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 2:45pm ��This is Lionel Richie 3:45pm ��The Mummy 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:15pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:30pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 7:30pm ��The One and Only Des O’connor To celebrate both his 80th birthday and 50 years in showbusiness, legendary entertainer Des O’Connor is joined by a host of celebrities from the worlds of comedy, music and entertainment. 9:00pm �� Titanic Italian stoker Mario Sandrini blags a job on the Titanic for his brother Paolo, who encounters cabin steward Annie Desmond and is instantly smitten. 10:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:15pm ��Perspectives 11:15pm �� The Cube

6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am.......................................................The Hoobs 7:05am ��The Paralympic Show 7:35am �� Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... 2012 7:40am ��Sailing 8:05am....................Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��Sunday Brunch 12:00pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:30pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:55pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:25pm �� The Simpsons 1:55pm �� The Simpsons 2:30pm.............................................. Doctor Dolittle Betty Thomas’s remake of the 1967 film is neatly updated with Eddie Murphy playing Dr John Dolittle, who talks to the animals. 4:05pm ��Time Team 5:10pm ��Channel 4 News 5:15pm ��4thought.tv 5:20pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:20pm ��Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel Betty Thomas directs this part-live action comedy sequel, which continues the adventures of the Chipmunks: a trio of preteen, talking CGI rodents with a penchant for high-pitched close harmony singing. 8:00pm �� Celebrity Deal or No Deal 9:00pm ��Homeland Carrie and Saul scramble to locate Walker after discovering that he’s alive and working with al-Qaeda. 10:00pm �� Crucifixion For centuries, artists of all kinds -from Michelangelo to Martin Scorsese, Salvador Dali to Damien Hirst and Andrew Lloyd Webber to Monty Python - have attempted to convey the meaning of the Crucifixion through their work. 11:20pm �� Lake Placid Horror comedy about the hunt for a huge man-eating reptile living in a lake in Maine.

Cycling: World Championships BBC2 - 2:30 - 5:00 pm Jill Douglas presents all the best of the action from the World Championships at Melbourne’s Hisense Arena, which also hosted track competition at the 2006 Commonwealth Games. This represents the last chance to secure London 2012 Olympic qualifications and in particular an

all-British battle in the men’s sprint promises drama. Olympic Champion Sir Chris Hoy faces reigning World Champion Jason Kenny, knowing that only one of them can compete for the title in London this summer. Elsewhere Britain can expect some great battles

for world titles against hosts Australia, including Victoria Pendleton and Jess Varnish in the team sprint against Anna Meares and Kaarle McCulloch, and what promises to be an epic Men’s Team Pursuit. Commentary from Hugh Porter and former world champion Chris Boardman.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

8 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:15am ��Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 8:25am.........................................Angelina Ballerina 8:45am �� Rupert Bear 9:00am ��Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15am........................................The Mr. Men Show 9:25am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:40am ��Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:00am �� High School Musical 3: Senior Year 12:05pm ��London: The Inside Story 1:05pm �� Lawrence of Arabia 5:15pm ��5 News Weekend 5:20pm ��Toy Story 7:00pm ��William and Kate: One Year On 8:00pm ��Once Upon a Time 9:00pm ��Blade II 11:00pm ��The Hard Corps

6:45am �� Emmerdale Omnibus 9:35am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 12:00pm ��Winners and Losers 12:55pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1:25pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 2:10pm �� Happy Feet 4:15pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 5:30pm ��Britain’s Got More Talent 6:30pm �� Jurassic Park On a remote island where an amazing theme park with living cloned dinosaurs is located, five people must battle to survive among the prehistoric predators when the security system breaks down and the beasts are released from their enclosures. 9:00pm �� Benidorm 10:00pm �� Gladiator Multi-Oscar winning film about Maximus, a powerful Roman general, loved by the people and the aging Emperor who, before his death, chooses Maximus to become heir over his own son.

7:00pm �� The Voice UK 8:20pm �� Shrek The Third Newlyweds Shrek and Fiona face their first marital hurdle when the sudden death of King Harold means Shrek himself is next in line. 9:45pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10:30pm �� Family Guy Return to the Griffins’ version of that galaxy far, far away as their freakin’ sweet saga continues with the final installment of the hilarious three-part Star Wars satire. 11:15pm �� Family Guy Brian is having trouble controlling his urges for female dogs. In preparation for visiting Lois’s parents, Peter tries to hoity-toity himself up, but he still makes a fool of himself in front of the rich Pewterschmidts. 11:35pm....................................... Family Guy Lois loves the holiday season and is excited about decorating the house, opening presents and introducing Stewie to Santa Claus. 12:00am �� American Dad!

6:00am �� Jeeves and Wooster 7:05am ��Cadfael 8:45am ��Heartbeat 10:50am ��The Likely Lads 12:40pm...............................................On the Buses 2:30pm �� The Best of Benny Hill 4:15pm ��Carry on Cleo 6:05pm.............................. Carry on Matron British comedy with the Carry On team about a gang’s plan to raid a maternity hospital to steal a gigantic stock of birth control pills. 8:00pm �� Holiday on the Buses There is mayhem at a holiday camp in Wales when Stan, Jack and Blakey go to work there during the summer. 9:50pm ��The Magnificent Two British comedy vehicle for Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise. The pair are two hapless salesmen on business in South America who get caught up in a revolution. 11:45pm ��Doctor Zhivago

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Scrapheap Challenge 11:05am ��Four in a Bed 1:45pm �� River Cottage Bites 1:55pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2:30pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:00pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:35pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:05pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:40pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:40pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:20pm ��The TV Book Club 7:55pm ��River Cottage Every Day 9:00pm ��River Cottage Every Day 10:00pm ��How to Cook Like Heston 10:35pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers 11:05pm �� Father Ted

6:25am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 7:05am ��The Saint 8:05am �� Police Stop! 9:05am �� The Sweeney 10:00am ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Matt Smith and Shonali Nagrani with Mark Butcher and Isa Guha. Day five begins with Rajasthan Royals taking on Gautham Gambhir’s Kolkota Knight Riders. 8:00pm................................................ Minder When a young widow is conned out of all her savings, Arthur sends Terry off to reclaim the money. 9:00pm �� Highlander Action. When a young warrior in sixteenthcentury Scotland fails to die from a fatal wound, he is banished from his clan, but later learns that he is part of an immortal race. 11:20pm ��Death Wish 2

The One and Only Des O’Connor ITV1 - 7:30 - 9:00 pm This 90 show will be hosted by the great man himself, and feature a star studded mix of guests and stars from the worlds of comedy and entertainment. Des will be joined on stage by comedy genius Matt Lucas, the inimitable Paul O’Grady, award winning actress Katherine Kelly, much loved actor Robert Lindsay, Des’s on screen presenting

partner Mel Sykes and many more. The show will also feature some exciting musical performances and a few surprises for Des along the way. Des said “I am really looking forward to sharing a fun filled 90 minutes with the viewers.” Des is firmly established as one of Britain’s most popular and best loved entertainers and is one of only

a handful of British entertainers to be acclaimed internationally on stage and television. His variety chat show Des O’Connor Tonight ran for an amazing 25 years on British television and then followed with the award winning daily talkshow Des & Mel with cohost Melanie Sykes which proved such a hit with viewers that the show more than doubled its audience.

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A P RIL

7:00am ��Playing by Heart Intriguing and compelling comedy drama chronicling the lives and loves of a group of Los Angeles residents whose paths cross during a hectic eight-day period. 8:49am �� FXM Presents 9:00am ��Where the Heart Is Natalie Portman stars as a pregnant teenager who is left shattered when she’s abandoned by her boyfriend. In desperation, she makes a home for herself in a local supermarket, where she remains until the birth of her baby. 11:00am �� The Sight While on assignment in London, an American architect discovers that he has the ability to see the spirits of the dead. 12:30pm �� Hurricane Two hurricane hunters race against time to alert a Gulf Coast community to the threat of an impending storm. 2:00pm ��The Star Chamber High Court Judge Steve Hardin (Michael Douglas) becomes disillusioned when he repeatedly has to free rapists and murderers because of legal technicalities, so he joins a society of judges which re-tries and sentences criminals. 4:00pm ��Kiss of Death A jailbird is persuaded to help police lay their hands on a psychotic mobster, as a means of exacting revenge for the betrayal which landed him behind bars in the first place. 6:00pm �� Blood and Wine A burglar’s wife and son tire of his crooked ways and leave, but accidentally take with them a diamond necklace from his latest robbery : and he will stop at nothing to get it back. 8:00pm ��The Talented Mr Ripley Matt Damon gets a chance to flex his acting muscles in this excellent crime thriller directed by the late Anthony Minghella. He stars as a man with a talent for deception who agrees to travel to Italy and persuade a businessman’s son to return home. 11:00pm �� Cast Away A systems engineer has to fend for himself when a plane crash leaves him stranded on a desert island. Initially panic-stricken, he overcomes his terror to survive for four years on his own - before building a raft and setting off on an epic journey back home.

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m o nd a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:00am ��Animal 24:7 9:45am ��Homes Under the Hammer 10:45am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:25pm ��Antz 2:40pm ��Flushed Away 4:00pm ��Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 4:30pm �� Final Score 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:15pm ��BBC London News 6:30pm ��Titanic with Len Goodman In the final programme, Len explores how the press created heroes and looked for villains, and learns how the disaster changed sea travel forever.

7:00pm ��Who Do You Think You Are? In a rare television appearance, best-selling Harry Potter author JK Rowling sets out to investigate her French roots. 8:00pm ��EastEnders George’s presence in the Mitchell household continues to pile the pressure on Ben and Jay, leading Phil to make a painful decision. 8:30pm �� A Question of Sport Joining the regulars are former England international footballer Matt Le Tissier, seven-time world snooker champion Stephen Hendry, Grand National winning jockey Richard Dunwoody and world motorcycling champion James Toseland. 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Harry and Nikki make a crucial connection between the dead girls and sex-grooming victim Shannon, but is it too late for Hannah and Lauren? 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:10pm ��BBC London News 10:20pm �� Match of the Day Gary Lineker introduces the best of the action and reaction from Easter Monday’s five Premier League matches. 11:35pm ��The Football League Show

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� Funny Girl 1:50pm ��The Way We Were 3:45pm ��Helicopter Heroes 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 8:30pm �� The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 9:00pm ��Modern Spies 10:00pm �� Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live 11:00pm ��The Story Of... Slapstick comedy

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:15am ��Murder, She Wrote 12:15pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 1:15pm ��ITV News and Weather 1:30pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 2:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:15pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:30pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Zak is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. Chas grows increasingly jealous of Debbie. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street An angry Stella makes a tough decision after Karl’s betrayal. Peter is furious with Leanne after Simon’s revelation. 8:00pm ��The Dales Adrian Edmondson visits Kilnsey Show in Upper Wharfedale, where farmer Carol Mellin and her dog Maisie are taking part in the sheep dog trials. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Karl and Sunita get dangerously close. Leanne is left winded by Peter’s stipulation. Will Tina accept Tommy’s life-changing offer? 9:00pm �� Scott and Bailey Rachel is angry and upset about missing her sergeant’s exam and about Nick Savage not being charged with her attempted murder. 10:00pm ��Kelly and Her Sisters Grow Up In 2000, ITV broadcast a Bafta awardwinning documentary about a family of eight struggling to cope with a life of poverty on their condemned housing estate in Birmingham. Now, 11 years later, this documentary reveals how Kelly and her five sisters’ lives have developed in the years since. 11:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:15pm �� Mayday Mayday 11:45pm ��Smugglers

6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am...........................................According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��The Big Bang Theory 10:30am ��The Big Bang Theory 11:00am ��Ben-Hur 3:10pm..................................................... Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons Homer takes Bart and his schoolmates on a trip to the Springfield Shopper. While there, he discovers the newspaper’s editor is looking for a new food critic. 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks There’s friction between Mitzeee and Riley when she exaggerates the attentions of a fan to a journalist. Is she willing to sacrifice her family for fame? 7:00pm................................ Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Inside Nature’s Giants The BAFTA Award-winning Inside Nature’s Giants team head to the Luangwa Valley in Zambia, home to the largest population of hippos in the world. 9:00pm ��Embarrassing Bodies The doctors visit Tamworth, where Dr Pixie helps a man whose oozing bottom wound hasn’t healed in six years. Dr Christian meets a woman with a mysterious whistle. 10:00pm �� Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA The explosive drama continues on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA as Gordon is still in Los Angeles struggling to bring together the fragmented Saffron family and their failing restaurant, The Burger Kitchen. 11:00pm ��Homeland 12:00am ��Random Acts

Kelly and her Sisters Grow Up ITV 1 - 10:00 - 11:00 pm THIS update of the BAFTA winning documentary Kelly & Her Sisters, filmed 11 years ago for ITV1, reveals how a family of 8 have coped in the years since struggling with a life of poverty in a condemned house in inner-city Birmingham. Voiced by former Coronation Street actress Katherine Kelly, this new observa-

tional documentary finds out what happened to one of the country’s most deprived families and shows first hand the legacy of child poverty in Britain today. Despite Tony Blair’s pledge in 1999 ‘to end child poverty, forever’ there remain over 13 million people living below the bread line today – almost a quarter of the country.

Back in 2000 the future did not look bright for Kelly and her 5 young sisters. They had to survive grim conditions: wallpaper hanging off damp and mouldy walls, sleeping in the cold, with three girls squeezed into a box room with a bed made from a door and sofa cushions. Have the passing years led them deeper into hardship or have they managed to escape their past?

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9 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:50am �� Bananas in Pyjamas 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am.......................................................Live with... 12:05pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:10pm ��Meerkat Manor 12:40pm ��Home and Away 1:10pm ��Neighbours 1:40pm ��The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:25pm �� Inside Hollywood 6:35pm �� Monkey Life 7:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 8:00pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 9:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 10:00pm ��Outlaw

6:00am ��Coronation Street 6:50am ��Emmerdale 7:15am ��Nanny 911 8:10am �� Judge Judy 8:35am �� Judge Judy 9:00am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��Holiday Showdown 10:30am �� Judge Judy 11:00am �� Judge Judy 11:30am................................................... Judge Judy 12:00pm....................................Coronation Street 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:00pm ��Emmerdale 1:30pm............................. The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Cube 4:45pm ��The Borrowers 6:30pm �� The Mummy Returns 9:00pm �� Knocked Up 11:40pm ��Celebrity Juice

7:00pm �� Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave Wallace’s whirlwind romance with the proprietor of the local wool shop puts his head in a spin, and Gromit is framed for sheep-rustling in a fiendish criminal plot. 7:30pm �� Great Movie Mistakes 7:35pm ��Kung Fu Panda Computer-animated comedy. Po the Panda is overweight and works in his father’s noodle bar but dreams of being a great Kung Fu warrior like his heroes, the Furious Five. 9:00pm ��Our Crime Riot. Series exploring real-life scenes of violence, theft and mayhem, to unpack and re-tell the human stories behind the criminal act. Summer 2011’s UK riots saw the biggest act of mass public criminality for a generation. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� World Series of Dating 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

6:00am ��Maigret 7:00am ��Maigret 8:40am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:55am ��On the Buses 10:25am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:30am ��George and Mildred 1:20pm �� The Magnificent Two 3:20pm ��Carry on Up the Jungle 5:05pm ��Are You Being Served? 7:05pm �� The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery St Trinian’s reopens its doors in a converted mansion, unaware that the building has been used to store the proceeds of a train robbery. 9:00pm �� Steptoe and Son Restless rag-and-bone man Harold Steptoe spends his life trying to escape the influence of his cantankerous father Albert. Disaster looms when Harold decides to get married against his father’s wishes. 11:00pm �� Mutiny on the Buses

Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Channel 4 - 10:00 - 11:00 pm The explosive drama continues on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA as Gordon is still in Los Angeles struggling to bring together the fragmented Saffron family and their failing restaurant, The Burger Kitchen. Last week, son Daniel nearly came to blows with the head chef, and

Gordon was shocked to learn that dad Alan had taken over £150,000 from Daniel’s inheritance, without his knowledge, to help fund the start-up of the restaurant. Meanwhile, dad-in-denial Alan gets a wake-up call from the internet critics who he thinks are conspiring to shut him and his restaurant down.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:20am �� The Three Musketeers 1:25pm �� River Cottage Spring 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm...................................Grand Designs Young architect Richard Hawkes and his wife Sophie have decided to move out of London to live the good life in the Kent countryside. 9:00pm �� Grand Designs Australia 10:10pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 11:15pm ��Relocation: Phil Down Under

6:00am ��Greatest World Cup Matches 6:15am �� Quantum Leap 7:05am �� The Sweeney 8:00am �� Minder 9:00am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:50am �� Quantum Leap 10:50am ��Tommy Cooper 11:20am ��Tommy Cooper 12:00pm �� Minder 1:00pm ��The Sea Shall Not Have Them 3:00pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Matt Smith with Mark Ramprakash and Vikram Solanki. Deccan Chargers face Mumbai Indians in the Indian Premier League. Lasith Malinga tore through Deccan’s top order in Mumbai’s victory against the Chargers last year. 7:30pm..............................Rugby Highlights 8:30pm ��Motorway Patrol 9:00pm �� Lethal Weapon 2 11:20pm �� Demolition Man

tv guide

a p r i l

8:00am ��Woman on Top Downtrodden housewife Penélope Cruz decides to ditch her unfaithful husband and start afresh - but finds moving to a new town propels her rapidly to stardom as a TV chef. 9:34am ��Love Nest Young New Yorkers buy an old building full of odd tenants and in disrepair. 11:00am �� Pinky A Negro girl who manages to pass for white faces romantic complications on her return home to America’s Deep South. Elia Kazan’s ground-breaking racial drama. 12:59pm �� Mister 880 An eccentric elderly man runs rings round the American secret service agents out to smash his counterfeiting operation. Crime comedy. 2:30pm ��Deliberate Intent Dry, courtroom-bound fact-based drama, chronicling the landmark case in which a publishing house was held responsible for aiding and abetting a murder, after printing a book detailing how to commit the perfect crime. 4:00pm ��When the Legends Die An old white drunkard becomes the crooked manager of a young Indian he turns into a rodeo star. 6:00pm ��Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry Two small-time crooks steal the money to buy a sports car, and take to the open road with a sexy hitch-hiker along for the ride, leading their police pursuers a merry dance across America - but provoking the wrath of a ruthless, hard-bitten lawman, who vows to stop them no matter what. 8:00pm ��When a Stranger Calls A teenager, babysitting for a family living in a remote lakeside house, is terrorised by mysterious threatening phone calls. She soon discovers the caller is ringing from inside the house and realises her and the children’s lives are in danger. 10:00pm..............................Cruel Intentions A spoilt wealthy teenager challenges her equally cruel stepbrother to seduce a newcomer at their school, who has pledged to remain a virgin until she marries. The practised charmer agrees to the task especially since his stepsister has offered to sleep with him if he succeeds.

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tu e s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Animal 24:7 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm.................................................Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm ��Horrible Histories 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Who Let the Dogs Out? 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Conservative Party 7:00pm................................... The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Phil frets when Ben attends a psychological assessment relating to the false accusations against his dad - will Ben be able to hold it together under the scrutiny? 8:00pm ��Holby City Sahira and Rafi’s relationship is looking uncertain, and Sahira faces her toughest choice yet: whether to fight for her marriage, or stick with her career at Holby. 9:00pm �� The Syndicate Bob and family are sent reeling by his medical diagnosis. The news causes Bob to evaluate his life and deal with some secret, unresolved personal issues which writing a cheque simply cannot solve. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm...........................BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards Matt Lucas is the host of his own brandnew awards ceremony -the perfectly-titled Lucases. 11:10pm ��Kevin Bridges: What’s the Story? 11:40pm ��The Estate

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am......................................................................Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am.............................................................. Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am..........................................Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:35am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:50am ��Waybuloo 11:10am �� In the Night Garden 11:40am �� Whistle Down the Wind 1:15pm �� Animal Park 2:15pm ��To Buy or Not to Buy 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Hairy Bikers’ Bake-ation 9:00pm................................................Horizon 10:00pm ��Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� The Hidden Art of Islam

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm.............................................Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm.................................. 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Conservative Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm........................................ Emmerdale Ashley’s violence towards Sandy escalates. Zak pushes himself too hard to prove that he is all right. Charity’s success knocks Gennie’s confidence. 7:30pm ��Countrywise Kitchen Paul Heiney and chef Mike Robinson discover that there is much more to the Cotswolds than picture postcard villages as they unearth some local delicacies in the region. 8:00pm �� Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Celebrity Special Continuing on from the previous show, tennis aces Pat Cash and Annabel Croft take the hotseat in support of Orchid and Centrepoint respectively. 9:00pm �� The Mighty Mississippi New three-part series in which Trevor McDonald sets out on an epic journey through the heartland of the USA following the course of its most famous and important river - the Mississippi. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm ��Benidorm Joyce becomes convinced that new guest Mrs Simmonds is the hotel assessor, but her attempts to impress do not start smoothly when Mrs Simmonds witnesses Joyce evicting a furious Kenneth from his salon for late payment of rent. 11:35pm �� Ladette to Lady

6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am......................................... Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am................................................................Frasier 10:00am...............................The Big Bang Theory 10:30am...............................The Big Bang Theory 11:00am..............................Undercover Boss USA 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� How to Cook Like Heston 12:35pm ��River Cottage Bites 12:55pm ��Rear Window 3:05pm ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... David Clarke 2012 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm.................................... Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks With Joel in danger, will he remain loyal to Brendan, despite the risk, or sell him out to save his own skin? Barney is thrilled to be introduced to Scott’s world in London living with his Nan. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Supersize v Superskinny In the Food Clinic swapping diets this time is 23-year-old Caribbean food queen Saskia Roberts and 25-year-old food analyst Nick Harvey, who won’t eat anything unless he’s analysed the contents first. 9:00pm �� The Undateables Shaine is from Bournemouth. The 31-yearold is a prolific amateur poet with a learning disability. 10:00pm �� Facejacker 10:30pm...........................Hit the Road Jack 11:05pm ��Random Acts 11:10pm................. Desperate Housewives

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

10 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm......................................................Neighbours 2:15pm................................................................CSI: NY 3:15pm......................................................Blue Smoke 5:00pm.....................................................5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm...................................Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 8:00pm.................. Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:55pm......................................... CSI: Miami 11:55pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

7:00pm �� Total Wipeout 8:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Andrew and Amanda. Another bride takes a back seat and lets her groom organise their big day. Twenty-seven-year-old Essex boy Andrew is a groom torn between two worlds. 9:00pm �� Prison, My Family and Me The second of two documentaries which give a glimpse into the lives of young people grappling with the challenges that come with loving someone who has been convicted of crime. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm....................................... Family Guy Thanks to Brian’s embarrassing flea problem the Griffins move into a hotel while the house is fumigated, and Lois and Peter discover that Chris has been skipping gym class because he’s self-conscious about his body. 10:50pm �� Family Guy 11:15pm �� American Dad! 12:00am �� Prison, My Family and Me

6:00am ��Coronation Street 6:50am ��Emmerdale 7:15am ��Holiday Showdown 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��Nanny 911 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Coronation Street 1:00pm ��Emmerdale 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Loose Women 5:40pm �� Judge Judy

6:00am ��Maigret 8:05am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:15am...................................................On the Buses 9:45am ��On the Buses 10:20am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Cadfael 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:10pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:10pm ��On the Buses 4:40pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:45pm ��Heartbeat

6:30pm ��The Cube 7:30pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 8:00pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 8:30pm �� Harry Hill’s the Bestof TV Burp 9:00pm �� The Vampire Diaries 10:00pm ��Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Wycliffe When surfer Anne Carter is washed up on a beach with head injuries, everybody assumes her condition is due to a freak accident. 9:00pm...............................................Taggart 10:00pm �� Inspector Wexford

Hit The Road Jack Channel 4 - 10:30 - 11:05 pm In this new series Jack Whitehall takes his show on the road visiting a different UK city each week. In this episode he’s in Manchester. The set for Jack’s stand-up performance is in a Manchester church where he is joined by Lancashire

cricket legend Freddie Flintoff and music guests Maverick Sabre. But before putting on the show Jack shares his experience of Manchester, staying with a local family and joining in with a cabaret night by dragging up as his new alter ego Vera Gwendolyn.

He also goes undercover as a music guru to see how far local bands will go in order to get a contract and be part of the great Manchester music tradition, as well as posing as a tattoo artist to test how important Manchester football rivalries are.

8:55am.............................................Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:20am ��Jungle Book 1:25pm �� River Cottage Spring 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm...............................The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� The Restoration Man Former childhood sweethearts Chris Kelly and Sue Hindle rekindled their romance eight years ago and dream of uniting their two families under one roof. 10:00pm........One Born Every Minute USA 11:00pm................................The Good Wife 12:00am �� The Big C

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Quantum Leap 7:05am................................................................ Minder 8:05am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:00am ��The Saint 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am �� Cricket 8:00pm �� Greatest FA Cup Final Goals A selection of some of the most memorable goals scored over the years in FA Cup finals. It includes Steve Gerrard’s wonder goal against West Ham, and Ricky Villa’s solo classic for Spurs against Manchester City. 8:10pm ��Jaws 4: The Revenge After her younger son is killed in the water, the widow of the man who killed the first Amity great white shark begins to believe her entire family is targeted by a monster of the deep. 10:00pm............................Escape From L.A. Action thriller sequel set in the year 2013. Outlaw Snake Plissken is sent on a daring mission into Los Angeles, now a huge and dangerous prison colony.

tv guide

Ap r i l

6:00am �� When a Stranger Calls A teenager, babysitting for a family living in a remote lakeside house, is terrorised by mysterious threatening phone calls. 8:00am ��Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead Four friends on a road trip to Las Vegas become stranded in the middle of nowhere when their car breaks down. The situation goes from bad to worse when the group incurs the wrath of a psychotic trucker who goes by the handle Rusty Nail. 9:35am ��Sierra Baron A California land-grabber wants a gunfighter to kill a Spanish land-grant heir. 11:00am ��Coney Island Two showmen at the famous amusement park fight for the affections of the glamorous Betty Grable in this comedy musical set at the turn of the century. George Montgomery and César Romero play the romantic rivals. 1:00pm ��Dear Brigitte James Stewart stars as a college professor shocked to discover his son is a mathematical genius who uses his skills to predict horse race winners. 3:00pm �� Bachelor Flat A British archaeologist unwittingly shares a California beach house with his fiancee’s wild daughter. 4:30pm ��We’re Not Married Six couples display a range of reactions to the news that their marriages are not legally valid. Compendium of comic sketches, 6:00pm �� Black Widow A federal agent becomes obsessed with a woman believed to have murdered a string of wealthy husbands for their money, while changing her identity completely before moving on to the next victim. 8:00pm ��Teaching Mrs Tingle High school student Leigh Ann needs to finish top of her class in order to win a University scholarship, but faces an immovable obstacle in the shape of history teacher Mrs Tingle, who doesn’t think her work up to scratch. 10:00pm �� Bedazzled Devil-in-a-dress Elizabeth Hurley gives hapless nerd Brendan Fraser seven lifechanging wishes in this engaging remake of a Peter Cook and Dudley Moore comedy.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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tv guide

w e dn e s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Animal 24:7 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm ��Horrible Histories 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm................................................Deadly Top 10 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��Fake Britain Dominic Littlewood reveals the distressing story of how Alfred Mason’s daughter Lorna discovered that her father had lost his entire life savings of 800,000 pounds after falling victim to conmen selling fake investments and how she found he had ended up living in squalor. 8:00pm �� Waterloo Road On the day of her art exam, Shelby struggles to keep her alcohol problem under control, whilst Kyle is caught running an illegal vodka scam. 9:00pm ��The Apprentice Junk Shops. Lord Sugar asks the teams to set up second-hand shops in London’s fashionable East End, home to a thriving market in retro and refurbished household goods. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45pm........................... Match of the Day 11:55pm................................. The Syndicate

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:35am.....................Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am................................................................Dipdap 6:50am............................................ Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am......................................................................Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am..........................................Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am......................................................... Numtums 8:50am.......................................Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am..........................................Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am............................Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 9:35am...............................................Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am........................................................Baby Jake 10:20am.......................................Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am..................................................64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am.................................. In the Night Garden 11:30am ��His Majesty O’Keefe 1:00pm............................................................See Hear 1:30pm..................................................... Animal Park 2:15pm.................................To Buy or Not to Buy 3:00pm........................................Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm................................................................ Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm............................................Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm...........................Great British Menu 8:00pm.............................................Our Food 9:00pm �� Divine Women 10:00pm �� The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 10:30pm........................................Newsnight 11:20pm �� Storyville

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm..............................ITV News and Weather 2:00pm.................................. 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour The taste tourists are in Abergavenny, a renowned foodie hotspot which holds an annual gourmet festival and boasts many great restaurants. 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm................................ London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm........................................ Emmerdale Chas and Cameron do their best to block out their feelings. Ashley catches Sandy calling social services. Zak is desperate to fix his state of mind. 7:30pm...........................The Unforgettable Dick Emery In the 1970s, Dick Emery was one of the country’s best-loved and most innovative comedians, creating a dazzling array of larger-than-life characters and catchphrases such as ‘Oooh you are awful - but I like you!’. Friends and family - including his ex-wife, last girlfriend and two children - remember this charismatic, funny charmer. 8:00pm ��Foyle’s War Foyle is finally given a date when he can relinquish his post as Detective Chief Superintendent, but when he spots a headline about a member of a distinguished local family sentenced to hang for treason. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm ��The One and Only Des O’connor To celebrate both his 80th birthday and 50 years in showbusiness, legendary entertainer Des O’Connor is joined by a host of celebrities from the worlds of comedy, music and entertainment.

6:00am ��Sali Mali 6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am ��The Hoobs 7:05am......................................... Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am................................................................Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��The Big Bang Theory 10:30am ��The Big Bang Theory 11:00am ��Undercover Boss USA 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... 2012 12:10pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers 12:40pm..................................River Cottage Bites 12:50pm ��The Man Who Knew Too Much 3:10pm..................................................... Countdown 4:00pm............................................. Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Can Maddie finally admit to Callum her fears about their physical relationship? When Mitzeee sacrifices her celebrity interview to keep the peace with Riley it seems that everything will go back to normal for the fractious flat mates. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm...................................... 4thought.tv 8:00pm....................................... Four Rooms 9:00pm �� The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera is a remarkable documentary uncovering harrowing scenes from one of the most tragic events in the cruise industry’s history. 10:00pm �� 10 O’Clock Live 10:55pm ��Strictly Baby Disco 11:55pm ��Random Acts 12:00am ��Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions

The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera

Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera is a remarkable documentary uncovering harrowing scenes from one of the most tragic events in the cruise industry’s history. When the Costa Concordia sank the passengers were able to film what happened on their mobile phones and video cameras. This film is made almost entirely of just that footage, with no interviews, expert testimony or narration.

Their footage provides an extraordinary minute-byminute anatomy of a disaster, capturing the reality of what happened in way that is only possible in the 21st century. From the moment the excited holiday-makers step on board the luxury cruise liner to the realisation that they are on a sinking ship fearing for their lives, viewers see what happened, as captured by those aboard the fateful final journey. Emotionally honest and

journalistically revelatory, this documentary shows the reality of what happens when an accident becomes a tragedy. The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera consists of raw user-generated content (UGC) reliving the horror of the sinking, as passengers share their first-hand experience of the disaster that unfolded that night. The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera follows on from Terror at Sea: The Sinking of the Concordia

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

11 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm �� Moonlight Becomes You 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 8:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 9:00pm ��NCIS 10:00pm �� Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:00pm �� Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��Loose Women 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 11:00am �� Judge Judy 11:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pmN ��anny 911 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Loose Women 5:35pm �� Judge Judy 6:00pm �� Judge Judy 6:25pm �� Take Me Out 8:00pm............... Take Me Out - The Gossip 9:00pm.......................Peter Andre: My Life 10:00pm �� Ocean’s Twelve

7:00pm �� Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers On their second outing together, Wallace and his canine companion Gromit’s happy home life is disrupted by a pair of technotrousers and a mysterious penguin with a cunning criminal plan. 7:30pm �� Great Movie Mistakes 7:35pm �� Shrek 2 Animated sequel following the grumpy ogre and his bride as they head for the land of Far Far Away to meet her parents. 9:00pm.......................Don’t Blame the Dog Anti Rhino-Poaching Dogs, South Africa. Experts agree that bad dog behaviour is mainly down to bad owners and that the owners need to be fixed first. 10:00pm ��Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents In Malia, 18-year-old Joe leaves his doting family behind for one last blowout with the lads before they go their separate ways, while 18-year-old art student Millie escapes from her mum for her first-ever girls’ holiday. 11:00pm �� Family Guy

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��My Place in the Sun 10:30am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:40am ��Living Free 1:25pm �� River Cottage Spring 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��Duty Free 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:30am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:30am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:40am ��Terry and June 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Cadfael 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:05pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:05pm ��On the Buses 4:40pm..................................................On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals 6:20am ��Motorway Patrol 6:40am �� Quantum Leap 7:35am ��The Saint 8:35am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:30am ��Motorway Patrol 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am ��The Saint 12:00pm �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 12:55pm ��Tommy Cooper 1:25pm ��Tommy Cooper 2:00pm �� Quantum Leap 3:00pm �� Cricket

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote When Jessica is called for jury service, she finds herself with the arduous task of unravelling a double murder. 8:00pm �� Carry on Matron 10:00pm �� A Touch of Frost 12:00am �� Holiday on the Buses

7:30pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:00pm ��British Superbike Championship Highlights 9:00pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 10:00pm ��Death Wish 2 11:50pm ��Escape From L.A.

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��The Secret Millionaire Multi-millionaire Dawn Gibbins has a unique mission in life: to educate Britain to lose the shoes and go barefoot. 10:00pm �� Undercover Boss USA E-commerce tycoon Michael Rubin is determined to make the company he founded as efficient as possible. 11:00pm �� Bums, Boobs and Botox

tv guide

a p r i l

6:00am ��Bedazzled 7:47am �� FXM Presents 8:00am �� Nine Months 9:45am �� Punch and Jody A circus man’s life is changed by the sudden presence of his teenage daughter. 11:00am ��Fire Sale A department-store owner frets over his two sons and his business, which he plans to burn down. 12:30pm ��Great Guns Chaotic Laurel and Hardy comedy in which the boys wreak havoc in a Texan army camp during World War Two after joining up alongside their millionaire employer. 2:00pm ��Royal Flash A conniving 19th-century military officer is forced to impersonate a European prince as part of a plot to seize control of the country. However, once the ruse is uncovered, he must flee for his life across the continent. 4:00pm ��Bring Me the Head of Dobie Gillis Beatnik Maynard G. Krebs returns after 20 years to help old buddy Dobie save their hometown. 6:00pm ��The Beverly Hillbillies Big-screen version of the Sixties TV comedy series, about a family of country bumpkins who strike it rich and move to a plush Los Angeles suburb. However, the locals greet their new neighbours with dismay. 8:00pm ��Snow Day A New York borough is shut down during a blizzard - and a group of cheeky local children steal a snowplough in a desperate attempt to ensure the roads to their school stay closed as long as possible. Meanwhile, parents all over the city struggle to work out what to do with their offspring. 9:46pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Mr Nice Guy A drug lord desperately searches for a missing videotape containing evidence which could send him to prison, but his apparently straightforward task soon runs into trouble - in the form of high-kicking TV chef Jackie Chan. Expect all manner of seemingly impossible set pieces and mayhem as Jackie single-handedly defeats the bad guys - and does all his own stunts to boot.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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www.tenerifeweekly.es

tv guide

thu r s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Animal 24:7 10:00am...................Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am.........................................Cash in the Attic 12:15pm.................................................Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm..............................................................Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm......................................................... BBC News 3:05pm ��Horrible Histories 3:35pm.............................................. Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Young Dracula 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrat Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm.........................................EastEnders Walford’s residents turn out in force to pay their respects to Heather, but a furious Shirley makes it clear that Andrew is not welcome at the funeral. 8:00pm ��Watchdog As car insurance premiums rocket, why are some companies making their loyal customers pay the most? 9:00pm ��Panorama Ivory Wars: Out of Africa. With wildlife crime now thought to be second only to drugs in terms of profit, Rageh Omaar goes on the trail of the ivory poachers, smugglers and organised crime syndicates to investigate the plight of Africa’s elephants. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:35pm ��Who Do You Think You Are? USA Academy award-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow traces her background. On her mother’s side, Gwyneth is fascinated by the story of her great, great grandmother Rosamond, orphaned at a young age but possessing a spirit of adventure which led her and her sister to board a boat for the USA. 11:20pm �� The Story of the Turban

6:00am ��Harry and Toto 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 6:45am................................................................Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am.............................................................. Eliot Kid 7:55am....................................................... Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am..........................................Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am.......................................Little Charley Bear 9:00am...................................................Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am............................Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington: Badge Quest 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:45am........................................................Waybuloo 11:05am �� In the Night Garden 11:35am �� Tycoon 1:40pm �� Racing From Aintree 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm ��Natural World 9:00pm ��White Heat 10:00pm �� The Sarah Millican Television Programme 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��Modern Spies

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am.................................................This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm..............................ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm...................................Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour Today the taste tourists visit the south Devon coast on the English Riviera, where fresh food is in abundance. 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm........................................ Emmerdale Chas tries - and fails - to distract herself from Cameron. A scared Sandy agrees that it is time he went into a home. Lisa worries when she finds that Zak has been lying to her. 7:30pm �� Tonight Are Your Kids Contagious? As childhood diseases such as measles and whopping cough appear to be making a comeback in the UK. 8:00pm �� Emmerdale Chas is left with a dilemma when Cameron will not give her up. Katie finally loses her temper over Megan’s interfering. Laurel is sad about Sandy’s plans to move into a home. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street David and Kylie take extreme steps to reclaim the salon. Carla feigns enthusiasm to keep an earnest Sally sweet. 9:00pm.............................. Long Lost Family Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell present a new series of the programme which aims to reunite family members after years of separation. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm ��Take Me Out

6:00am ��Sali Mali 6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am.......................................................The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am...............................The Big Bang Theory 10:30am...............................The Big Bang Theory 11:00am..............................Undercover Boss USA 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:30pm �� North by Northwest 3:10pm..................................................... Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons After a rotten day, Homer bowls a perfect 300 game, and becomes a local hero. But his fame soon fades, and to keep himself from gloom. 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Maddie’s insecurities reach fever pitch when Callum leaves her after they sleep together for the first time. Taking Barney’s advice Scott seeks out old friend Mitchell to try and make amends. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Get Your House in Order Trapped by the possessions filling his twobedroom flat in Cheshire, 59-year-old Ray Byrne has to sleep in a cramped corner of his living room floor. 9:00pm �� Peter Kay Live at the Bolton Albert Halls 10:00pm ��Derek 10:35pm �� The Inbetweeners 11:05pm �� The Inbetweeners 11:40pm ��Random Acts 11:45pm ��Embarrassing Bodies

Long Lost Family ITV 1 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Davina Mccall and Nicky Campbell return to ITV1 to present a brand new series of Long Lost Family, the show which traces and reunites family members who have been separated for most of their lives. Series two presents seven heart-warming new episodes, helping relatives reunite with the loved ones they have been desperately

searching for in vain for many years. With the help and support of Davina and Nicky, each relative is guided through the exhaustive and emotional process of tracing the loved one they are so anxious to find. The searches often take unpredictable turns and series two sees Nicky journey to South Africa, Texas, France and Spain to bring

families together again. On returning for a new series, Davina McCall said: “I’m over the moon to be back helping to reunite even more families. If you thought Series One was emotional, you’ve not seen anything yet. The stories we’ve unearthed this time round will tug at your heartstrings like never before. Get ready to start stockpiling those tissues!”

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

12 7:00pm �� The Apprentice The teams must source second-hand stock from auctions, junk shops and car boot sales, and resell at a profit during a one-daysale from their respective shops. 8:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog This series challenges young dog owners with bad attitudes to spend a week living with people who depend on dogs - some for their survival in extreme environments around the world and others who depend on them for their jobs. 9:00pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 9:30pm ��Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show Two dads from the audience are put through their paces in a variety of daft games to discover who is the champion dad in Well Good Dad. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Angry Boys 11:00pm �� Family Guy The Griffins and other residents of Quahog are invited to visit the mansion of James Woods. 11:50pm �� American Dad!

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:25am �� The Three Musketeers 1:25pm �� River Cottage Spring 2:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:05pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��Loose Women 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Loose Women 5:40pm �� Judge Judy

6:00am ��Duty Free 6:30am ��Heartbeat 7:20am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:25am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:35am ��Terry and June 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am ��Cadfael 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:10pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:10pm..................................................On the Buses 4:45pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am ��Police, Camera, Action! 6:40am �� Quantum Leap 7:40am ��The Saint 8:40am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am �� Cricket Another IPL double bill begins in explosive fashion with both last year’s finalists.

7:00pm �� All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm ��American Idol 10:00pm ��Celebrity Juice 10:45pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 11:15pm �� Gladiator

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Poirot Poirot is initially insulted by a seemingly trivial request by a Clapham woman to aid her in her search to find her missing cook. 9:00pm ��Blue Murder 10:35pm �� Inspector Wexford

6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm ��The Memory Keeper’s Daughter 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Holiday Heaven on Earth 7:30pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 8:00pm ��The True Story 9:00pm �� The Perfect Storm 11:30pm �� Nature Shock

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me In Exeter, a spicy-food war breaks out between Geoff Green and up-front party girl Beka Platt. There’s also a rabbit showdown between keen hunter John G Wills and drama student Mandy Plumridge. 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��The Good Wife 10:00pm �� The Big C 10:30pm �� Saving Grace 11:25pm �� Shameless USA

8:00pm �� River Monsters Piranha. Extreme angler Jeremy Wade goes to extraordinary lengths in his mission to find out whether the piranha of the Amazon basin is truly the river monster of nightmares. 9:00pm �� Rocky Uplifting, Oscar-winning drama about a small-time boxer from Philadelphia who against all odds - gets a shot at his ultimate dream, the heavyweight championship of the world. 11:25pm �� Rocky II

tv guide

a p r i l

6:00am ��Are We Done Yet? 8:00am ��The Beverly Hillbillies 9:35am �� Jitterbugs 11:00am ��I’ll Get By A songwriter and his partner promote their tunes with two singing sisters during World War II. 12:30pm ��The Siege at Red River A Confederate secret agent lays his hands on a shipment of guns, but before he can do anything with them, he is betrayed by a former comrade and left fighting for his life behind enemy lines. Reasonable Western set during the American Civil War. 2:00pm ��Heaven Knows, Mr Allison An American Marine corporal stationed on a South Pacific island during World War Two and a novice nun on a mission are forced into the hills when Japanese forces arrive and set up military bases. 4:00pm ��The Hunters A former Second World War pilot commands a squadron on a series of daring missions deep into enemy territory in Korea. However, one crucial assignment seems set to fail as a flight lieutenant’s nerve cracks under the strain and the squadron leader tries to save the situation. 6:00pm �� Rio Conchos A cache of stolen rifles causes major headaches for Texas cowboys Richard Boone and Stuart Whitman, who learn the weapons are to be sold to disgruntled Indians by a money-grubbing traitor. 8:00pm ��Mr Nice Guy A drug lord desperately searches for a missing videotape containing evidence which could send him to prison, but his apparently straightforward task soon runs into trouble - in the form of high-kicking TV chef Jackie Chan. 9:43pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem The extraterrestrial monsters battle it out again in this sci-fi action sequel. When a spaceship crash results in a small town in Colorado being infested with aliens, a predator arrives to hunt them - and any humans who get in his way. But an even bigger threat is lurking in the area, in the form of a terrifying hybrid of the two creatures.

Dymension.... Mike & Yvonne worked at Aviva´s next to Wigan Pier for 3 years. They moved to their new salon at Playa Olid on 6th April 2009. Yvonne started hairdressing in 2009 and had her own salon in Wembley, North London. She has now been in Tenerife for 7 years and has worked with Mike for 6 years. They also offer, by appointment only; Teeth Whitening, Hair Extensions, Pedicure, Manicure.

Easter Special... FREE Haircut with every Blow Dry for new clients....

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 time out

Take a little Crossword

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TIME OUT

Across 8. Drape (7) 9. Pack leader (5) 10. Down-filled quilt (5) 11. Illness (7) 12. Silent (4) 13. Newsman (8) 16. Imagine (8) 19. Stick used by a magician (4) 22. Small fish (7) 23. Evergreen tree (5) 24. Burn brightly (5) 25. Lunatic (7)

Down 1. Pertaining to a school (8) 2. Evergreen shrub (6) 3. Components (5) 4. Breathe in (6) 5. Letterbox (7) 6. Respectable (6) 7. Skin growth (4) 14. Saviour (8) 15. Dwells (7) 17. Kingdom in N Europe (6) 18. Capital of Austria (6) 20. Beast (6) 21. One-twelfth of a year (5) 22. Weeps (4)

MATHS CHALLENGE

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.

Sudoku

Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom

Fill in the black squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 through 9. An easy one

This week’s clever quote

Solutions to our puzzles can be found on page 46 The brain train

Give the grey cells a work-out with our quick quiz.

Question One: How many wings does a butterfly have? Question Two: What sort of hat did Laurel and Hardy wear? Question Three: Which cartoon dog has the initials “S.D.” on his collar? Question Four: What is the name of the fairy in Peter Pan? Question Five: Which TV animation has a robot called Bender? Question Six: What are the three primary colours in white light?

“I become more convinced that beings from other planets are using the Earth as a lunatic asylum” - George Bernard Shaw

Word search

Can you find the hidden Easter words? They may be horizontal or vertical.

The dotted lines indicate areas which also contain a non-repeating set of digits. These squares can be added together to produce the sums shown in the clues. A little tougher

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Basket Bonnet Bunny Chicks Chocolate Daffodil Easter Egg Flowers Hunt Parade Spring

Spot the 11 differences

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Dumb and Dumber 2

Peter Farrelly, the co-director of the original Jim Carrey and Jeff Danielsstarring 1994 comedy, has emphasised that this is the movie’s first true sequel. “We’re getting set to shoot ‘Dumb and Dumber 2’ in September,” he told ComingSoon.net. “It’s the first sequel we’ve ever done and we’ve got Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels back.” The 2003 prequel Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd did not feature the original stars. “We did not do Dumb and Dumberer,” Farrelly continued. “That was a studio thing. “So we’ve always wanted to do a sequel and finally Jim called up. Jeff always wanted to do it. We always wanted to do it.y “Jim was busy, but he called and said, ‘We’ve got to do this thing again.’ He had just watched Dumb and Dumber and he said, ‘This is the perfect sequel. Let’s do it.’” We can’t wait!

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 showbiz

JT and Jessica Biel Wedding Plans

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are reportedly planning to become Mr and Mrs this summer. The pair have kept all details firmly under wraps since becoming engaged over the Christmas season last year. And there was no covering the engagement up after Justin’s grandmother confirmed the news soon afterwards, however. Whatever the case, it seems the pair have decided to rethink their initial idea of a small and low-key ceremony. A source told People: “Justin and Jessica are planning a big summer wedding. “Jessica initially wanted a smaller, more intimate wedding, but Justin from the beginning wanted a big wedding and that’s what they have decided on.” As for his role on the big day, it seems JT has his priorities sorted. The source added: “Justin has promised her the best day ever.”

No Frills for Kate and Wills You’d expect only the best for Royalty but its EasyJet all the way for William and Kate. Proving exactly why we love them, the down to earth newlyweds bypassed first class luxury for the budget airline as they made their way from Geneva to Manchester after a week on the slopes. The noble move caused delight among the couple’s fellow passengers, with one flyer, Chris Nash, later tweeting: “Still can’t believe how close I was to Will and Kate.” We just hope that Wills managed to find a tenner for speedy boarding.

BGT’s Ryan O’Shaughnessy Left Heartbroken

The subject of Britain’s Got Talent contestant Ryan O’Shaughnessy’s self-penned love song is believed to have moved on with another man. Ryan shot to fame on Britain’s Got Talent after impressing the judging panel with his own composition, No Name, which documented his unrequited love for a close friend, but he refused to reveal her name at the time. Katie Keegan later came forward to reveal she is the object of his affections, but insiders have revealed she is keen on someone else. A source close to the pair told The Sun: ‘I’m afraid it might be too late for Ryan. He’s a great guy but Katie has got the pick of the men. ‘They are really good friends and have been for ages but that’s as far

as it goes. ‘There is someone else she is keen on. I suppose she could change her mind and if he goes all the way in the competition, who knows.’ Ryan and Katie met at college in Dublin and became good friends, but his secret crush on her had never been revealed until he performed on the ITV1 talent show. Ryan wowed judges Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams with his performance, and Katie later expressed on twitter she thought it was ‘so funny’. She tweeted: ‘this is sooooooo funny #noname woooooo its me #lolololol (sic). We’re not sure ‘funny’ was what Ryan was going for.

Titanic Sinks Without a Trace (again)

Julian Fellowes’ latest drama Titanic has suffered a dramatic ratings slump, losing 40 per cent of its viewers between its first and second ITV episodes. Titanic, which is penned by Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes, was one of the most hotly anticipated TV series of the year, but has so far failed to inspire ITV viewers. After a healthy start, which was watched by 7.4m viewers, last Sunday’s episode only attracted 4.7m, representing a drop of more than 36 per cent in the weekon-week ratings. The 3m dip in audience figures reflects the apparent general consensus from viewers that Titanic was a weak production, with many who tuned in to the first episode dubbing the drama ‘Drownton Abbey’. The latest viewing figures mean that Titanic was even trumped by Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow, which aired on BBC1 the same night. Now you know it’s bad!

Could a fairy tale be about to come true? Cheryl has given us great cause for excitement after revealing her soft spot for the flame-haired royal. She told Marie Claire: “I love Prince Harry.” “Actually, I had a dream last night I married Prince Harry and was a real-life princess! It’s true. “And Charles was my father-in-law instead of my charity partner!” When asked if she knew that Harry fancies her, Cheryl answered: “I do!” Let’s just have a quick recap, shall we? Harry fancies Cheryl, Cheryl “loves” Harry, Cheryl’s already won over the father-inlaw, she’s already said “I do”, and she’d make a great bosom buddy for Kate. However she may have to deal with Louis Walsh first. Cheryl has made a new enemy in the X Factor judge with the music maestro now declaring their friendship is ‘over’ after she claimed he ‘never managed’ Girls Aloud. Veteran judge Louis even fumed ‘if I was in London, I’d give her a piece of my mind’ as he let rip at the 3 Words singer after she accused the 59-year-old of not being a good manager to Girls Aloud. Cheryl, 28, claimed Louis ‘just took a cheque’ and ‘never managed’ the band, which comprised of Cheryl, Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts, Nadine Coyle and Sarah Harding. But Louis vehemently denies these claims and is shocked his former pal, who he sat beside on X Factor from 2008-2010, could stab him in the back in this way. ‘As far as I am concerned, our friendship is over. ‘, he said.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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out on the town

Ged Bolton

There are lookalikes and lookalikes, but Ged Bolton just can´t get away from the man he portrays so it´s just as well he is a huge fan of Rod Stewart, and in fact as I write this, he is on his way to Las Vegas to watch his idol perform live. Don´t think for one minute though that Ged has cashed in on his uncanny resemblance and learned twelve karaoke tracks, like so many others. Let’s look at the man behind the act. Starting way back in 1978 he formed his own band “Hi Way Show Band”, this evolved in 1981 to the very successful “Oddballs”, who toured Britain then Germany to entertain the troops, between 1981 and 1995 they were there 38 times; not bad, while still performing round the U.K. Summer Seasons at Isle of Man and Ibiza followed with Rod Stewart tributes finishing the show. From 1988 till 1990 Ged compered at the prestigious Villa Marina Theatre on the Isle of Man, then in 1995 formed the Tribute Band, “Tonight’s the Night”, a seven piece band with light and sound engineers to perform in Brannigans, Chicago Rock Cafes and Haven Holiday Parks.

In 2002 Ged went solo and came here to Tenerife to live and perform, I have worked with him many times and it´s always a pleasure. He dresses immaculate, has an easy way with the audience and the ability to laugh, even at himself, with an extensive knowledge of his subject he invites the audience to give him requests and only came unstuck once when I pre-armed the audience with all the tracks he wasn’t sure off. To round up, this man is a pros´pro. Catch him with me in Beverly Hills on a Wednesday, or live with the incredible “Loony Toons” in Shenanigans on a Saturday night. If you’re looking for an act to fill your bar in these hard times, book him.

Till next time, Gordon.

Contraband (R)

Starring

Showing daily at 17:00 109 min - Action/Crime/Drama

Robert Wahlberg as John Bryce Caleb Landry Jones as Andy Mark Wahlberg as Chris Farraday Ben Foster as Sebastian Abney

SYNOPSIS:

Mark Wahlberg leads the cast of Contraband, an action-thriller about a man trying to stay out of a world he worked hard to leave behind and the family he’ll do anything to protect. Set in New Orleans, the film explores the cutthroat underground world of international smuggling - full of desperate criminals and corrupt officials, high-stakes and big payoffswhere loyalty rarely exists and death is one wrong turn away. Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris is forced back into doing what he does best-running contraband-to settle Andy’s debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian (Ben Foster), to head to Panama and return with millions in counterfeit bills.

THE GOOD GIG GUIDE Monday 9/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Act Becky

Tuesday 10/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Frank Farrow Cabaret Luke Carey

Wednesday 11/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Ged Bolton

Thursday 12/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Helena

Friday 13/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Michaela

Saturday 14/4 Sunday 15/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Claudio Cabaret Jasmin Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret John Ashford

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Adeje Beach Hotel Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Cabaret Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Alexander McRae

Grandee O’Donnells With Gordon King later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night With Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Dion

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night with Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Dion

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Sparky Marky

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Film Night Plus Quiz

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Michael J Grant

Beverley Hills, Inferno Los Cris Compere Gordon King Cabaret Eclipse

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Fraser

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night With Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Freak Boutique

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King later in Shenanigans after Loony Toons

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay With Avril Taylor

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Dave Tracey + Cabaret

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac With Elaine Alexander

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King with Blues Bros

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Sunday Roast Special.

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Shiel Campbell

Shenanigans Gordon King After, Loony Toons, Freddy Kay, Dave Dean

All Football Shown

Good Pub Grub

All Football Shown

All Welcome

GOOD GIG GUIDE. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL GORDON KING ON 693 732 536

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Sharples in Session By John Sharples

TITANIC LIVES ON

Isn’t it amazing that the Titanic has captured the imaginations of so many people over the last hundred years in a way that no other human disaster has been able to? It is a story of romance and high drama that harks back to a time when your class in society meant everything. I think that the fact that the great ship is still lying on the Ocean floor and we can see video footage of its spooky remains just serves to bolster up interest in the story of its demise. When on holiday in Florida, a few years ago, I visited the Titanic Exhibition. I really

felt as though we were going back to those days and marvelled at the reconstructed grand staircase and items that had been brought up from the ocean floor. At Vivo, on 4th May, we are holding a special event. The Titanic Experience will be a themed dinner with two shows from Bitter and Twisted. The food will be that same as was served on Titanic and each guest will be allotted the name of a real passenger and find out about that person’s life. There will be fun and poignancy all in one great evening of Entertainment. The Dinner show is 30 euros to residents and includes a 5 course dinner with two shows and drinks included. You can reserve your tickets by calling the Box Office on: 603 391 256 Meanwhile, the Titanic TV series is quite superb, written by Julian Fellows who wrote Downton Abbey and the Titanic Movie starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo di Caprio is now on general release in 3D, can’t wait to see it!

WHAT A GAS!

STOP MOANING I can’t believe the amount of moaning that goes on amongst the British Community living here in Tenerife. It seems that almost everything is wrong at times. Wherever I go I hear whinging and whining. Usually it’s about the Spanish system, the way that Spanish people use roundabouts, road works or new bar legislation etc. What we must all remember is that Spain isn’t Britain. That’s why most of us came here. We wanted something different. When in Rome, do as the Romans etc. For over a year, in Puerto de la Cruz, the main avenue has been completely rebuilt and whilst the work was being done, people were banging on about the mess and how unsightly it was. Now that it is finished, it looks wonderful and people are banging on about the gym equipment that has been installed in the streets and the piece of modern art that has been put at one end of the avenue. It isn’t actually completed yet, but it is probably a climbing structure for children. Why can’t they just rejoice that the place is looking smart and modern without losing its charm? Why can’t they just be happy that someone, somewhere, has decided to invest in this fabulous town? Puerto de la Cruz needs rejuvenation and this has made a significant change to an otherwise drab looking road. Well done to the workers and organizers. Now, can we please have a marina and some lovely golden sandy beaches? When that has been done, maybe the tour operators will return to what used to be Tenerife’s top resort.

Petrol stations in the Britain were suffering long queues because of a possible strike. The government issued advice to people to keep their petrol tanks filled up and possibly have a little in a storage can. All of a sudden there is major panic and everyone goes petrol bonkers. The blame for all this mayhem is then laid at the feet of the government, who seem to get the blame for everything that goes on. As for the woman who was transferring petrol from one jerry can to another … IN HER KITCHEN! Well, the mind boggles. What on earth was she thinking of! Mind you, that is probably the fault of the government for not educating her that petrol is highly flammable in the first place! I’ll tell you where the blame lies. It lies firmly at the feet of the media, who between them, managed to whip the population up into near hysteria. It isn’t the first time they’ve done it and without proper regulations in place, it won’t be the last. When will they sort the British press out?

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 sharples in session

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 advertisment

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COMMUNITY MATTERS

Community matters

Written by Ken Cumming Pastor of Callao Salvaje Community Church

The power of perseverance

‘Let us not grow weary while doing good.’ (Galatians 6:9) One of the great themes of the Bible is perseverance. Paul, who refused to quit, wrote: ‘Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ‘The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.’ Are you merely a starter, or are you also a finisher? When the enthusiasm for a new idea fades, when the odds against you increase and the results diminish, when it looks as if success is impossible, you must keep forging ahead. Admiral Robert Peary attempted to reach the North Pole seven times before he finally succeeded. Oscar Hammerstein produced five shows on Broadway that were flops before staging Oklahoma, which was seen by almost five million people during a recordbreaking run of 2,212 performances. Quitting is more about who you are, than where you are or what you’re up against.

We all have our excuses. The truth is external things don’t stop us; it’s what happens to us on the inside! Most of us stop ourselves from reaching our potential. We can pretend that people, things, and situations outside of ourselves are to blame, but in reality most failures are just the result of a lack of bulldog-like tenacity. Leonardo da Vinci said, ‘Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He, who is fixed on a star, does not change his mind.’ You must have a mindset to tenaciously pursue your dream. The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying. There is no insurmountable barrier, except your own inherent lack of purpose and persistence. There’s a legend about a soldier being court-martialled before Alexander the Great. Believing the verdict was unjust, the soldier asked to appeal it. The conqueror informed him that there was no one higher to whom he could plead his case. ‘In that case,’ the soldier replied, ‘I appeal my case from Alexander the Small, to Alexander the Great.’ In each of us there is a lesser self and a greater self struggling for supremacy. Your lesser self says, ‘Not enough people believe in me. I’ll never make it.’ Your greater self says, ‘My faith in God and in myself is enough; I can make it.’ Your lesser self says, ‘It’s taking too long to realize my dream.’ Your greater self says, ‘Dreams are realized one day at a time.’ Your lesser self says, ‘Enough is enough! I’ve taken too many hits.’ Your greater self says, ‘I’ve come too far to give up now.’ Your

lesser self says, ‘I don’t have the strength to hold on to my dream.’ Your greater self says, ‘Hold on a little longer; the darkest hour is just before the dawn.’ After speaking about being shipwrecked, stoned, imprisoned, betrayed, hungry, thirsty, sleepless, cold and naked, Paul, who was resolute in his purpose and relentless in the pursuit of it, writes: ‘Who is weak, and I am not weak’ (2 Corinthians 11:29 NKJV). Where does that kind of strength and tenacity come from? God! The assignment God gives you will never be greater than the grace He provides. So draw on His strength, keep pressing ahead, pursue your goal and you will prevail.

If the big question interests you why not come along this week to start to find out the answers. Every Sunday at 7.30pm (FREE) Why not attend on Sunday night, the Alpha course is being held in Silencio Church?

Easter

Easter, one of the most important times of the year in the Christian calendar, is divided into two main events; Good Friday when we remember the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary for our sins and Resurrection Sunday when we remember that death could not hold Jesus – the Son of God in its power and He rose again. To celebrate these events Silencio Church will be holding an outdoor Easter service at 11am on Sunday morning in Coral Mar Square. There will also be an Easter egg hunt for the children. Callao Salvaje Community Church will also be giving out free Easter egg sweets to all on Sunday afternoon in Callao Salvaje and Playa Paraiso at the seafront.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Morning Services Las Americas Anglican Church Pueblo Canario 10.15am Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 11:00am Los Cristianos International Church Princesa Dácil Hotel 11:00am Costa del Silencio Silencio Church Coral Mar Square 11:00am Callao Salvaje Community Church Sueño Azul 11:00am Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Assembly Eng / Spanish 11:00am

SPANISH CORNER Welcome to our next issue of the Spanish corner. I hope you found last week’s words useful. Let’s continue with our progress.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Evening Services Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 6:00pm Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Deutsch Bi Lingual Eng/Ger 6:00pm Las Americas The Living Room Veronica’s 6:00pm Some Other Church activities Many of the local churches also hold mid week services and Bible studies So phone the numbers below or check out the information on their websites. Songs of Praise Sorry this has now finished for the summer Back in October Tuesday Little Angels Mums & Tots Silencio Church 10:30am Tuesday Play Zone Mums & Tots STCF 11:00am Wednesday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am Friday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am The Living Room (Christian drop-in centre) Veronicas Las Americas 922 75 23 64 (above Burger King) Tue – Fri 4-7:00pm Saturday Market Free Literature stall at the Las Américas market. SHE Europe (Confidential HELPLINE for women in crisis) 690 964 145 Also if visiting the North of the Island Puerto del la Cruz Anglican Church North Tenerife Christian Fellowship, next to Post Office 11.30am

More details on all the above can be found on the following websites: www.christiansintenerife.co.uk covering most of the churches www.silenciochurch.org 922 78 40 17 / 609 565 528 www.tenerifechurch.com 922 74 20 45 / 679 660 277 www.callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 922 78 48 77 / 654 932 541 www.stcf.org 922 79 00 07 / 660 183 760 www.caictenerife.com 922 73 16 91 / 628 107 316 www.ntcf.org 922 35 10 11 / 677 349 088

Spanish

Phonetically

English

Me levanto...

Meh le-ban-toe

I get up...

...a las siete y media

…a las see-et-ay e med-e-ah

...at seven thirty

...temprano/ tarde

…tem-prah-no/ tar-day

...early/late

Me ducho

Meh du-cho

I have a shower

Desayuno cereales

Des-ay-un-oh se-reh-al-ess

I have cereal for breakfast

Me visto

Meh bis-toe

I get dressed

Me pongo la ropa

Me pon-go la rope-ah

I put my clothes on

Me preparo para el trabajo

Me prep-ah-roh pa-ra el tra-bakoh

I get ready for work

Llego a la oficina a las nueve Como a las doce/a la una

Yeg-oh a la off- I get to the ofe-see-nah a las fice at 9 o’clock nu-ay-beh Co-mo a las doh-say/a la un-ah

See you next week!

I have lunch at twelve/one o’clock

Carlos.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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health, beauty & fashion

Your Hair & Beauty Advice Column by Jade & staff at The Perfect Gift Salon

Massages & Body polishes

Indian head massages The Indian head massage is a perfect way to release the tension that has accumulated in the tissues, muscles and joints of the head, face, neck and shoulders. The stress may have been caused by a number of reasons, including; over working, broken sleep, personal worries, alcohol over indulgence and many more things. This massage is especially good for relieving stress, tension, fatigue, insomnia, headaches, migraines and sinusitis. The experience is deeply calming and relaxing, leaving you feeling energised and revitalised, better able to concentrate and it is thought of as a much better alternative to aspirins if you are suffering with a hang-over! Back massages

We are all aware that a back and shoulder massage is known to stimulate the nerves and increase blood flow circulation around the body, and regular sessions give an excellent feel good factor as they are relaxing and de-stressing, as well as being re-energising and stimulating, therefore can help prevent the build-up of tension, anxiety, stress and of course relieve aches and pains that may have been slowing you down. Full body massages

A good full body massage will also stimulate the nerves and blood flow, with the benefit of the entire body feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. They, if done correctly, will leave you feeling like you’re in a new body with a new lease of life all over. If you can manage to visit your salon on a regular basis; a good massage is not only relaxing, but is beneficial to your whole wellbeing from de-stressing to putting a bounce back in your step. Aromatherapy massages The aromatherapy massage combines the benefits of a massage with the use of essential oils. They can have many different effects on the mind, body and spirit. The aromatherapy massage is an uplifting experience, which should be prepared with relaxing music to calm the mood, fragrant candles for a tranquil feeling and scented smells such as josh sticks to stimulate the brain. Rejuvenating scrubs

A rejuvenating body scrub is a great way to exfoliate your skin, sloughing off dead skin cells and rubbing away hard flaky skin, leaving it feeling soft and smooth. It will improve circulation of the blood and lymphatic system, to the surface of the skin; helping to fight cellulite and improve skin tone. There are many different creams and recipes that all work equally well, and your salon could use any type, from professional

Beauty Icon: Catherine Deneuve

Catherine Deneuve is set to receive the 39th annual Chaplin Award from the Film Society of Lincoln Centre next month. To which we say, what took you so long? The French actress, now 68, has been the muse of all muses to fashion designers since Yves Saint Laurent designed her costumes for Luis Buñuel’s 1967 masterpiece, Belle de Jour. At his show last month, Joseph Altuzarra quoted the iconic film’s little black dresses and bedroom hair, and last October, Stefano Pilati put bon chic, bon genre babes with dark sides

on his penultimate runway for YSL. Half a century after her doe eyes and lofty cheekbones first graced the screen in André Hunebelle’s Les Collégiennes, the Grande Dame of French cinema’s still got it. No one can make the flashbulbs pop quite like she can, as anybody who’s witnessed her scenestealing entrances at fashion shows can attest. She’ll be stealing scenes once again in her upcoming film As Linhas de Torres, which co-stars John Malkovich and her daughter Chiara Mastroianni. “Being an actress is a very physical thing. If I didn’t look the way I looked, I would have never started in films,” Deneuve has said. There’s certainly more to her success than just a pretty face, but without it, the last 45 years of fashion would’ve looked a heck of a lot different.

to inventive natural ingredients. A scrub is also great if you are about to sunbath, it will ensure a beautiful deep even tan. Mud/ Clay wraps Body mud or clay wraps are a fun treatment, that have many benefits of which include; relaxation, pain relief, improved skin tone, body slimming and detoxification. Because of the deep drawing effects of the skin, they assist in breaking down unsightly cellulite through pulling the blood to the surface of the body, weight loss by shifting water retention and leave you with an all over feeling of tighter, firmer skin. You really can shed a couple of inches in just one session. Anti cellulite massages

This is a deep intense massage, targeted on the areas of the skin that show signs of cellulite. The massage is made up of deep penetrating movements on the affected areas. There have been many treatments and procedures over the years, but generally, a good anti cellulite massage should be worked with a rich anti cellulite cream, an advanced suction and pummelling of the skin, to generate blood flow to the surface, and a scrub to reduce those lumpy areas. This massage is most beneficial if done regularly and in accordance with a controlled diet. Chocolate massages A chocolate massage is an exciting treat. A pure endulgence that has many positive effects, as it will spark your endorphines,

leaving you feeling well and happy. This massage also has the benefits to peel away the deadskin cells, softening the skin. The chocolate used for this massage is also known to be an aphrodisiac! It’s really worth treating yourself to this experience, even if just the once. Full body polishes

A body polish is a popular body treatment that exfoliates and hydrates your skin, leaving it smooth and soft. A body polish is primarily a treatment for the skin - like a facial for the body. It should never be confused with a massage as it is purly to slough away dead skin cells, reviving dull tired skin, preparing the surface for an even tan, and can also assist in the breaking down of cellulite.

For beauty and hair advice, email us at: the.perfect.gift@hotmail.com

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 health, beauty & fashion

THE GAIA APOTHECARY QUALIFIED MEDICAL HERBALIST URINARY TRACT PROBLEMS by Meg Glaister The kidneys are extremely important organs. They not only purify the blood by removing toxins and excess water, but they also help to control the blood pressure and produce vitamin D which helps to keep the bones strong. Herbal diuretics will assist to flush the kidneys of toxins, remove infection and excess water and stones or gravel. One of the best known diuretics is dandelion (diente de lion) – commonly known as “wet the beds” for this reason. Dandelion is one of the best natural sources of potassium and therefore is useful for water retention due to heart problems. Nettles (ortiga verde) are also a good diuretic with blood purifying properties. They contain vitamins A, C, D and K, calcium, potassium, phosphorus, iron and sulphur. Make an infusion of dandelion and nettles (20gr each) in 500ml of hot water, leave

for 15 minutes then strain and take 60ml 3 times a day. For urinary incontinence and bed wetting an ideal remedy is horsetail (cola de caballo) made up as an infusion as above with 30gr of the herb to 500ml of hot water. Half the dose for children. Horsetail will strengthen the kidneys and bladder. Sometimes bed wetting in children can be caused by nervousness or excitement, in which case give 60ml of an infusion of chamomile (manzanilla) about an hour before bedtime. Cystitis is characterized by frequent and burning urination with pain before during and after. For this you need to make an infusion of 20 grams each corn silk (estilos de maiz) and Echinacea (equinacea) and take 60ml every 2 to 3 hours for 3 days then 60ml 3 times a day when the symptoms have eased. You need to drink plenty of water and avoid coffee, alcohol, fizzy drinks,

spicy and sugary foods. If the cystitis persists for more than ten days it may not be an infection and you should consult a Medical Herbalist who will determine the cause and give a more appropriate, personalized medicine. For men, benign prostatitis or inflammation of the prostate gland can be a problem and an infusion of 20 gr each corn silk and horsetail are very beneficial taken every 2 to 3 hours until the symptoms subside. It is worth mentioning that pumpkin seeds eaten on a regular basis will help to strengthen the prostate gland. If you have any health topics you wish me to discuss on this page or would like a consultation please feel free to contact Meg Glaister DBTh MIRCH (The Gaia Apothecary) on 649 529 703 or email gaiaapothecary@ hotmail.com

Jenny Packham Has Arrived

one in beaded rose silk chiffon at her first public engagement as a married woman last summer. Packham made that in five days, too: “We just had a call.” She says the Duchess is a delight because she is “a dream to dress”. This year has been quite a whirl because her creations have also graced Cameron Diaz (once) and Angelina Jolie (three times). So Packham has arrived. But it’s taken an awfully long time. She has had nearly 25 years of being a designer. If fashionistas knew her for anything, it was for being ignored. Her catwalk shows were never popular, and even her most recent show at New York Fashion Week last month failed to attract any big hitters: no Anna Wintour, editor of American Vogue; no Glenda Bailey, editor of Harper’s Bazaar. This is surprising, because Packham is hugely successful: 400 outlets in 36 countries; a wide range of customers, from grandes dames in the Middle East and Russia to young things in the South of France (“they just love the little minidresses for parties on the boats”); a recently opened bridal wear showroom in New York’s fashionable Meatpacking District (“we’re also doing weddings in Tokyo”); an office in LA; a raft of celebrity fans that includes Katy Perry, Beyoncé and Dita Von Teese; to say nothing of nearly two decades of being stocked in Harrods. So does she find it frustrating that she’s seen as nothing special? “In a word, yes, actually,” she admits. She has several theories. She and Matthew haven’t hyped themselves by playing the celebrity designer game. British women don’t invest in long frocks - “We’re a society of little-black-dress

wearers.” And she’s simply far too safe. “The British Fashion Council has concentrated on the avant-garde, and I always felt a slight pressure to over-style or do something to draw attention to what we were showing. I remember in one show we put all these multi-coloured tights with the dresses, and I just looked at them afterwards and thought, we don’t need to do this.” So four years ago she decided to show in New York instead. “Now I feel I can show just glamorous evening dresses worn in the way people should wear them.” The turning point was stepping up the glamour in 2000 when sequins and crystals became tools of her trade - “I felt embellishment was something we could really indulge in” - and doing their first catwalk show in 2002. The press might have been unimpressed, but others weren’t. “Celebrities started to seek us out,” she explains. Liz Hurley (Packham designed her wedding dress), Mariah Carey and Cindy Crawford were early devotees. “It’s built steadily from then.” Future plans include a cocktail range “more accessible for day-to-day wearing”. But, more urgently, she needs to dry-clean the dress her younger daughter wore to the Titanic premiere. “Look what she did to it!” she says, holding up a beautiful silver Forties-style dress, very similar to the one in yellow the Duchess of Cambridge wore on her US and Canadian tour. “She had the chocolate, the popcorn. I was, ‘Oh my God, a £1,000 dress.’ ”Her older daughter promenaded in a slinky beaded sheath dress. And what did Packham wear? “Black trousers,” she replies. “I didn’t have much time to think about myself.”

With her gowns adorning Duchesses, Titanic stars and red carpets around the world, British designer Jenny Packham has finally arrived.

Miss Packham is thrilled by the brouhaha over the dress she designed for Kate Winslet to wear at the world premiere of Titanic 3D. She knew that it was going to be a winner as soon as the actress tried on the black satin, crêpe gown with Swarovski-crystal encrusted sleeves. “She looked spectacular,” she says. And the press agreed. It was a very eventful week, as Packham only knew she was designing the dress the Wednesday before. “We were contacted by phone and told Kate would like to pop in. Was that good for us?” recalls Packham, who has a shop near Bond Street, London. “And we said fine, great. Luckily we had the new collection here - it’s inspired by film noir: Forties, femme fatale - and she liked the style.” Her team of 50 then spent long nights hand-stitching sparkling crystals at the HQ in Kentish Town. “The world stopped for five days.” Packham’s speciality is evening wear and

red-carpet glamour, with price tags of up to £5,000. She’s not interested in designing everyday things like coats or jumpers - “It’s got to be unique” - so it’s surprising to find that her own style is so pared-down and practical. She puts all her fantasy and extravagance into her clothes, while her own life is quiet and ordered. She lives with her partner of 25 years, Matthew Anderson (CEO of the company), and daughters, Georgia, 18, and Isabella, 14, in Hampstead. “We don’t go to parties much. I am very serious about my work. But I also have two children and I wanted to do that job well.” Packham first hit the headlines in 2010 as a contender for Kate Middleton’s wedding dress (created in the end by Sarah Burton, creative director of Alexander McQueen). “I went to Westminster Abbey to check it out, just in case, and it’s such a huge place, I kind of knew it wasn’t quite our thing. You need to have a big dress in that environment, and what we do is much softer.”

The Duchess of Cambridge is clearly a huge fan, though, as she’s worn four Packham dresses in the past year, most memorably

Is Coconut Oil Bad for You? Long a cornerstone to ayurvedic medicine and revered by tropical civilisations, coconut oil has a surprisingly long history in food and medicine throughout the world. In folk medicine, coconut oil is said to have antibacterial properties, help cleanse the urinary tract, help heal wounds, prevent scars, aid a healthy complexion, and even enable an increased metabolism. However, in various health circles, the oil has been somewhat controversial when it comes to recent health and medical studies.

Coconut oil is pressed from the meat of a mature coconut and gets a bad rap because it is high in saturated fat, but the composition of its fat is unlike any other fat. Coconut oil is comprised primarily of medium-length-chain fatty acids and triglycerides, whereas the vast majority of fats that humans consume contain longchain fatty acids. While the medium-length triglycerides are primarily saturated fats, due to the size of the molecules, the human body digests them differently than your typical

saturated fats. This is why coconut oil is not considered to be a “bad fat” by some of its ardent supporters. However, most medical doctors and nutritionists still say that coconut oil can raise blood cholesterol. Remember that when it comes to calories, coconut oil is still a fat — it has almost twice the number of calories than a carbohydrate or protein. Up-to-date health studies still maintain that people should limit all fats, especially saturated kinds like coconut oil, in order to prevent type 2 diabetes.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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WILDE’S WORLD / WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE?

WILDE’S WORLD

Another issue and another look into the weird and more unusual news stories of the week.

Strange stories from this week’s world news start in Philadelphia, where an April Fools prank has raised serious issues. Sidewalk lanes around City Hall were designated as “e-lanes” suitable for chronic texters and distracted pedestrians. The April Fools’ Day joke set up by Mayor Michael Nutter(what do you expect when you elect a nutter as Mayor) who was trying to draw attention to the danger of inattentive pedestrians. The line signage and sidewalk graphics depicting a pedestrian peering down at a hand-held device- will now stick around part of John.F.Kennedy Boulevard for the rest of the week.

Toying with the police

Last week we saw police in Germany attending reports of a wild tiger on the loose only to find a cuddly stuffed animal. This week

Lucky Strike

Last weekend Americans dreamed of winning the Mega Millions lottery with the biggest prize fund to date. With $656 million up for grabs the USA had lottery fever with all eyes on what the odds were of having the winning ticket. What

it was the turn of the Nottinghamshire police, when two PCs smashed the window of a Mercedes coupe to save a dog they feared was overheating, only to find the distressed animal was a £4.50 stuffed pooch. Owner, Gordon Williams, 80 told how he returned to his car to find the backseat covered in glass and an official note reading: “Smashed your window re concern for animal on back seat” The police force has agreed to replace the window with a statement saying. “In this case officers believed a dog could be suffering due to the heat of the day and its life was potentially at risk, so felt there was no other option but to enter the vehicle. would be the odds of buying a losing ticket AND being struck by a lightning bolt. Kansas lotto player Bill Isles, joked to a pal on Thursday afternoon “I have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than winning the jackpot” Later that day the wannabe mega-millionaire, who is a volunteer storm spotter for the National Weather Service, went to his backyard to check for storm activity when a bolt of lightning slammed into the ground nearby. Isles said “It threw me to the ground quivering”. He was rushed by ambulance to a nearby hospital; luckily he did not suffer any serious injuries. One lucky Kansas ticket holder hit the jackpot, along with two others in Illinois and Maryland, but not Isles. Mega Million officials said chances of having that golden ticket was 176

Lego House A new home may be hard to afford in these times of austerity but one lucky crab has landed a multi-coloured pad made especially for him. Harry the hermit crab, who lives in the rock pool in the Atlantis Discovery Area at Legoland in Windsor, Berkshire, has a shell made entirely of Lego bricks. Hermit crabs do not have their own shells so normally protect their soft bodies by salvaging

million to 1. Chances of being hit by lightning around 775.000 to one, depending on the season.

Moving with the times

our Summers ago some acquaintances of mine (previous visitors to our little island) told me they were planning on moving to Tenerife, this still hasn’t happened! Despite the fact that as a couple they are no longer together, both have new partners and now even have children separately, they are both still in love with the idea of moving to Tenerife. And who can blame them? The image of how we live, not ACTUALLY how we live can be very different. Not only do we still have ironing, cleaning, bills to pay etc., some people also work an awful lot more hours, for less money, and with very few financial benefits (depending how good your Spanish is, and how well you know the system, I guess). I tried to explain the reality of ‘normal’ life here, and this is when it dawned on me how many things are taken for granted in the UK. We do the same here in the Canaries, but with different things. For example, they both told me that finding a job wouldn’t necessarily be a huge priority as they would be happy to stay in most nights, eat microwave food and watch TV. They never gave it a thought that microwaves aren’t a ‘standard’ item in rented accommodation or that the TV wouldn’t

By Dave Michaels be in English. “So we will go out” they said “Every night?” “Why not, taxis are so cheap here, or we will go and get a car, we have good references so finance shouldn’t be a problem!” Again, the idea that if you are moving here from scratch with no property, no job and no real savings. Then you are essentially a brand new person…….. Bank accounts, social security, credentials, the whole kit and caboodle!!! ‘And then the Pièce de résistance’: Well we had 800 Euros spending money on our last holiday and that was plenty for 3 weeks so living ‘normally’ , it should be plenty for a couple of months!! o thought, actually, no consideration whatsoever had been given to the fact that most landlords require a month in advance PLUS the first month rental, never mind having paperwork arranged and buying the things that you take for granted….. A toaster, tin opener, iron, and putting food in an empty fridge. Other things that hadn’t been considered included schools, work, how to find work or exactly how many hours on average a person works here. Financial aid isn’t

an option; you stand on your own two feet and deal with it! We do do similar things when it comes to taking things for granted. On a recent trip to the UK, my biggest mistake was probably getting dressed before opening the curtains. Here we just assume that the sun will be shining, in the UK it can be sunny(ish) or -10 below on consecutive days. How many times have you arranged a BBQ weeks in advance, knowing the weather will be fine? I also forgot that my money wasn’t worth the same in England. Day to day expenses are cheaper, food, phones and so on, but taxis are ridiculous, you have to PAY to go into clubs!!!! Hire cars and petrol, I won’t even go there! And remember, if you have a fifty in your pocket here, you only have around thirty five there! lso, BE WARNED! In Tenerife, total strangers pass the time of day by randomly saying hello to each other in passing in the street. Try this in the UK you are ‘a Nutter’ as I was told. Attempting to buy anything over the price over £20 with cash is ‘not safe’ if at all possible, and if you accept every offer for a

empty sea shells and moving into them. Harry showed more discerning taste when he chose a shell made out of the blue, red and yellow bricks over the more traditional options. Liane Riley, senior aquarist at Legoland, said: “We decided to give Harry a wider choice and the model makers here created a special Lego house just for him. “We weren’t really sure if he’d actually move in, but he rejected the sea and snail shells on offer and seems very comfortable in his new home”. “ Visitors to Legoland are able to visit Harry in Atlantis’s interactive touch pool area from this weekend.

And finally ... Architects have made a splash with a bold design for new towers in Mumbai featuring swimming pools enclosed in glass instead of balconies. Known as Aquaria Grande, the 37-storey skyscrapers were the result of collaboration between Hong Kong-based architect James Law and Indian real estate company Wadhwa Group. The complex would have 200 apartments, three levels of car parking, a gym and sauna. Looks great, but what about in monsoon season? Check out Wilde at the weekend Saturdays 12 till 3 only on Coast FM store, credit or debit card you get……. By the end of the day, you will have more plastic than a Barbie factory, and enough credit availability to bail out Greece! I’m not a religious person but I do consider myself blessed with the things I have, the work I do, the people in my life. The friends (fair-weather and otherwise) I have in my life. Material possessions don’t seem to have as much importance here as back in the UK. A car is something that gets you from A to B; it doesn’t need to be as flash as next doors. omputers do the job, eventually!! A mobile signal is nice, if you happen to have one, but if you don’t, people understand. All these things add up to a tolerance that is just accepted in everyday life. I think it makes us a nicer, easier going nation. Not that we are any less English, just a more relaxed version. And maybe that is the appeal that people wanting to move here crave. You could still achieve it in the UK I suppose, just be grateful for the smaller things in life and let life flow at its own speed. Work hard and appreciate what you already have, not what you want!! I have always thought it was a philosophy borrowed from 50 years ago, before high speed internet, high speed trains and speed dating. Moving with the times!! Not always the best idea, I always believed the best time is NOW!!

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 CALDERS CONFESSIONS

My 15-year-old daughter is pregnant

Calders Confessions Calder spent twelve years working as PA and Co-presenter with Jeremy Kyle on various radio stations and has now joined the team at Coast FM where he answers listeners´dilemmas each Sunday night on the airwaves. We are also very grateful to have him here, answering your questions and queries as part of the Tenerife Weekly team. If you have an issue you can`t overcome or just need general help and confidential advice, why not email Calder: calder@coastfmtenerife.com

My daughter is only 15 and has just told me that she’s pregnant. I’m really upset but she tells me I can’t be as I had her at only 16. The truth is though I regretted having a child so young all my life. I love my daughter but missed out on so much and I know the same is going to happen to her. How do I explain this without breaking her heart? Clare

Clare, I think you’re missing the point here. You don’t have to justify your life to your daughter at all but what you do have to do is love and support her when she needs you most.

Of course it’s not an ideal situation to be in and you haven’t mentioned the issue of whether your daughter wants to keep the baby or not. My feeling though is that you should do all you can to help her make her own mind up and make sure that she knows you’re behind her all the way. You’re past has absolutely nothing to do with your daughters future does it? Sure, your experience and wisdom are invaluable to her but you have to realise that this is her life, not yours. Good luck to you both.

Drug culture

I went away for two weeks on holiday and when I came back I found out that all my friends had tried drugs at a party. Now they do them every weekend and are always telling me to try it because I’d love it. I’m really scared though, as they all went through their first time together and I’ll be on my own. Should I give in or try to be strong and risk being an outcast? Maddie

Would you jump off a cliff if they told you it was a “great thing”? Of course you wouldn’t! I have to be honest and tell you that these friends are letting you down badly if they’re trying to coax you into doing anything you don’t want to do – especially drug taking! It’s a slippery slope Maddie; I’ve met so many people who thought they could cope

with recreational drug taking, only to realise a few years down the line that they’ve pretty much destroyed their lives. Tell your “friends” you’re perfectly happy as you are and that you`d rather leave the drugs alone thank you very much. Ultimately, if the pressure to have a dabble get too much, perhaps you should consider finding some new friends?

I’m being sexually harassed at work I work for a company as an administrator and I have a real problem with the men at work. They come in and out of the office between jobs and are always making purvey remarks and making me feel really uncomfortable. I would go to my boss but he’s the worst of them all! It’s making me feel so uncomfortable that I’m considering quitting but I don’t have many qualifications and worry that I might not find anything else. What shall I do? Maxine You should go to your boss Maxine and state quite clearly that you’re offended by his remarks and those of the other men. Its 2012, not 1912 for goodness sakes! People need to learn that they can’t exploit and harass others and that’s exactly what’s happening here isn’t it? You may or may not get the reaction you want from your boss but the alternative is to go on, day after day, just accepting this disgusting treatment. A good lawyer would give you chapter and verse on how to handle the legal side of things but let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that. At the end of the day Maxine, you have to ask yourself if you really want to work with people who have no respect for you, don’t you?

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 PSYCHE / HOROSCOPES

MIND, BODY AND with SPIRIT Liana Mẽ Aly Ah

• International Intuitive • Life Enhancement Coach • Spiritual Mentor

SELF DEVELOPMENT

Last week I spoke about The Awakening, within this paradigm shift there is a huge need to develop yourself. So what does that mean exactly? Developing self, means meeting your needs, and sometimes these may be totally different from anything else you have ever wanted.

Somehow, there is an inner urge, a calling to heal yourself from the inside out. Sometimes you may not even realise this is what you are doing. You find yourself picking up Self help books, for guidance, or seeking out classes to raise your consciousness, or even just doing something like Yoga or Pilates or Meditation, which are all practises which help you access your inner being, and your inner compass. Self Development is making a conscious decision, that you are seeking change in your life. You come to a point in your life where you are seeking help and answers. You may have had some kind of trauma in your life, or simply woken up one day, and felt enough is enough, and you want to change your life in some way. This is usually because you have entered the Awakened state and answered the calling of your soul. Therefore, the beginning of Self development sees you in a state of searching for answers, seeking out people to help you. Simply just working out, that the way your life has been so far isn’t nurturing you, and that there must be a different way to live. Some people may feel drawn to Fortune tellers or Card readers as they struggle to come to grips with sudden changes in their lives, just in an effort to find out how to move forward, or learn what is in front of them. Others will start to read about positive living. The funny thing is, when you have the intention to step up, and move onto your path, you will find the teachers will appear. There is an old Chinese saying which says… when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear! So you will find books being recommended to you, or you may become aware of new classes in your area, or you may

find a Mentor online on YouTube, or just “by accident” as you surf the net. In this mode of Self development, there is a need to feel better about yourself, a feeling of letting things go, which have held you back for years, and finally resolve old issues. As you release this old baggage, you change your vibration and things start to change drastically in your life. For any of us to find peace and joy, we have to learn to heal and let go, and when you start to develop your self, you learn to forgive and let go. Letting go of emotions attached to people or situations which drain and pull you down, enabling you to feel better about yourself. Your values in life change and you start to live in the present moment, not holding onto the past, which lets face it, is long gone. You learn to love yourself, and value your life and decisions, creating a peace and joy you may not have experienced for a long time, if ever. During this process, you raise your self esteem, and you step into your power, and start to live a life, as your true authentic self. It doesn’t happen overnight and even some of the most wonderful spiritual teachers and mentors, have been working on themselves for many years. I am constantly working with people who are finding their way. I use different methods to help people release their baggage, and feel good about themselves again. On the 22nd of april in callao salvaje i am running a spiritual self development day, using various methods, to help you move forward in a focused manner, making appropriate changes in your life. A day to nurture yourself, and have some me time. If you are interested in joining me call me on 672 994 666. NEW MEDITATION CLASSES Callao Learning Centre, Callao Salvaje. Wednesday Evenings 7-9 pm Vincci Tenerife Golf Hotel Golf Del Sur. Thursday Evenings 7-9pm Polercise Flamingo Club Las Americas. Friday Mornings 10-12am For more info and to register for each class. Contact me on 672 994 666 or lovieart@ gmail.com More info on www.liana.lovie.com

Until next week, LIANA MẼ ALY AH

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS I am Spiritual agony aunt, and will answer any concerns or questions anyone may have about their difficulties in life or curiosity into the spiritual field. Or if anyone wants to give me topics to discuss here, please contact me, liana@tenerifeweekly.es

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Weekly Horoscopes

Aries - Mar 21 - Apr 19

Midweek Mercury stations and after that it’s time to unravel the last few weeks, determine the ideas that were inspired, and which were just huge time-wasters. It’s also possible you’ll be caught up in an abject apology (not one that you make but one you witness) that makes the difference to the smooth running of an organisation. Though true, it will most likely take until Mars stations on 15th for you to feel things are running as you like them to be, for now the accent is on determining what’s a serious waste of time and what ought to be followed through. As of Wednesday you may spend more time travelling (property-related?). It’s probable too that those with particular interest in fashion will have your attention and that you might even think of going into partnership with them.

Taurus - Apr 20 - May 20

If you’ve never done so before then really think about keeping a dream journal this week - or creating a vision board. Once Mercury turns direct midweek you really could make things happen. True, it should get easier still after Mars turns direct on 15th. For now the accent is on understanding exactly what’s happened in recent weeks and which of the various ‘truths’ you’ve been presented with are the ones you’re happy to accept. Investing in a hobby or moving a leisure interest into a potential second revenue stream could be considered - especially in the latter half the week when it seems more than one person could invite you to join a team. It might also be worth thinking about your diet and whether or not you would benefit from a detox.

Gemini - May 21 - June 20

Venus enters your sign this week - which is usually positive for looking and feeling good. Augmented this time by Mercury’s station and an aspect between Jupiter and Neptune it could be that love is in the air and that’s what adding to your bloom. Even without this you may be especially sensitive to the environment, gravitating instinctively to people and places who compliment you. Though we are still some weeks from your birthday there is a sense in which it all starts this week - a period of preparation now begins. It won’t be surprising if this coincides with the need for a new look (and consider your signature in this too - it says a lot about you). Before the weekend you might also enjoy reading and learning more about Feng Shui techniques and how you might improve your life.

Cancer - June 21 - July 22

The good news is that Mercury goes direct this week. The bad news is that that could coincide with others realising you had your finger on the pulse all along and that they now need you to effect a magical rescue of a situation that is now a mess. Even then you might not get started until midmonth. All this is unlikely to happen with ease and you may find yourself caught in cross fire before it’s agreed that it would be best if you were left to look after a project. As if all this weren’t enough, it’s probable that someone close will also arrive at a key stage in their career. A long power struggle could come to an end leaving them to decide what direction they’d like to travel in next.

Leo - July 23 - Aug 22

It’s quite possible you now feel to be carried away on a tide. Perhaps you want to make it up to someone? Or is that you now have a new design idea that you’d really like to see adopted? With Mercury now moving forward there’s perhaps a little more clarity as to what could be achieved. And yet: Mercury doesn’t make it back to Fire sign Aries until mid-month so there may be more test-runs to trial. It’s possible too that someone who’s been under the weather (or suffused with love and not concentrating) might tune in to developments and make suggestions that warrant even more thought. In moving ahead at a more stately pace you could also cut costs.

Virgo - Aug 23 - Sept 22

The really good news is that Mercury now moves forward. It does so in your opposite sign - which may be an indicator of partners (of all kinds) changing direction. Though at one level pleased that they now understand how you would like to push a project forward, you might reasonably be irritated at time that’s apparently been wasted. Yet this might not be true. It may be that there are others who would like to join forces and that these few days mark the start of a team coming together. Danger this week comes through loss and carelessness. Effort to prevent this would be wise midweek. That though is also the time when you may be asked to do someone a favour. Take care you don’t underestimate how long this will take.

Libra - Sept 23 - Oct 22

Is it possible you haven’t been looking after your health as well as you might? You could be forced to address this issue over the next two weeks - and by someone close who has your very best interests at heart. Another big theme concerns design and marketing. Is it time for you to review your c.v? your signature? Your style? Your website? Preoccupation with your image may be timely. With environmental (spring cleaning or furniture-changing) activity going on around you, you might also give extra thought to what makes you feel really good. Between now and Pluto’s station on 10th looks excellent for decluttering. The drawback in all this are those born under the Mutable signs of Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces who presently might not mind mess and chaos.

Scorpio - Oct 23 - Nov 21

Mercury turns direct this week and many may feel that projects are at last pushed forward. Temporarily though there may be more than a few cases of ‘headless chickens’ - which could so, so exasperate you. The problem is that so many planets are in Mutable signs presently - which is likely to result in directions being unclear. This will soon change. Now may be the time to consider options and, in particular, which of those proposed would be least drain on your physical resources. It’s possible too that someone (born under your opposite sign?) will arrive with what seems to be a hare-brained scheme but which is worthy of discussion if only because it then gives birth to ideas that are workable.

Sagittarius - Nov 22 - Dec21

You may remember that Neptune arrived in Pisces in early February. Its passage across the base of your solar chart will take many years. You could think of this as surfing opportunities with you riding each wave unsure as to whether or not you’ll do so safely. This week’s wave looks to be a whopper and just how successful you are at staying on board will depend greatly on how practised you are. Another way of looking at this is to think of walking along shifting sands - the art being in staying upright. This is where a friend with highly developed artistic talents comes in. Through them you might consider making a journey that comes under the heading of grand adventure.

Capricorn - Dec 22 - Jan 19

It won’t be at all surprising if you find yourself sorting out a muddle before the end of the week. It may be that people are moving on and are a little less careless with their work. Exasperation over small errors is more likely than not. And yet: a major aspect between Jupiter and Neptune suggests you could soon be riding a new wave. Commercial opportunities may abound. This could, however, leave you with something of a dilemma: you may be spoilt for choice between what tickles your brain cells and what would pay more. It’s probable too that a close friend or partner is now grappling with similar issues and that once again the issue of diary management will be raised - it may be that you’ve been pulling against one another.

Aquarius - Jan 19 - Feb18

As Mercury turns direct midweek you may experience an increased desire to bargain. You might also need to learn more about other currencies. And then there’s the possibility of you being tempted to learn another language or skill - starting mid-month. It’s just possible also that an idea you’ve had about property and how it could be improved will gather pace. Struck by exotic colours and scents you might even think of giving a room a new theme. The attraction of these various themes may come about through someone you meet whilst travelling. The other big theme concerns charity work and a growing desire to be involved more with healing - especially if that involves a system in common use in another country.

Pisces - Feb 19 - Mar20

Mercury now turns direct in your sign and it seems you’re ready to go places. Your two ruling planets, Jupiter and Neptune, come to a new phase in their cycle. Traditional astrology might have suggested you’d go or think about going on a long sea journey. A flight of fancy might fit this bill! Whatever, it appears you’re now ready to strike out and to engage with people you either haven’t seen in ages or who’ve been through an experience you can’t share but intrigues you nevertheless. A change of plan midweek is possible also - and may be linked to something originally scheduled for mid-month. Contact with those born under Gemini and Sagittarius seems likely to increase - with you acting as a reporter (journalist) for them.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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PETS’ PAGE

Welcome to Tenerife Weekly’s Pets’ Page

Pets’ Corner Well this week is a big week for me as, aside from the fact that I’m now five and a half months pregnant, we are also moving house. It’s all go here! I got to thinking about all the precautions one should take when considering or undertaking a move when pets are concerned. Obviously the first one would be to ask yourself if the new place is suitable for them. Once that simple decision is made it is important to ensure than you have checked the new place for possible escape routes, unsafe areas and any other hazards. If possible try and span the move over a couple of days so that if there is anything that needs doing, it can be taken care of before bringing pets in. Also, if you have a garden, be sure to check for any poisonous plants that could harm your pet if eaten. After the move, if you have cats, try and

keep them in for a few days at least so that they can get used to the smells of their new pad and make it their own. If you don’t know the area, ensure that when you walk your dog you keep them on a long lead for a few days if they are partial to bolting. Also please please remember to change their chip details and their medal is securely on their collar. All of these little tips should make for a slightly more comfortable house move.

from this opportunity. The children’s education will cover animal welfare, as well as environmental issues. Acción Del Sol hope to work as well with other schools in the future. Five puppies were picked up in Granadilla, dumped in a box near the bins , so it’s all hands on the decks to feed these little ones every few hours day and night so theres alot of sleepless nights at the refuge. They are being bottle fed special milk but it’s no substitute for the mother’s milk which is vital to them in their first few weeks. Hopefully they will all survive. Another very lucky dog has found a new home with Tony, Eilleen and Maggy but the refuge still has 180 gorgeous dogs looking for new loving homes or even just a walk would be nice for them if adoption is to big a responsibility, just come on down to the refuge and make a few dogs very happy, they love a walk and some attention. Sunday the 8th of April 11am is Acción Del Sols next fund raising event, with fun runs with your dog, an Easter egg hunt for the children and much more. Please call 922 778 630 for more information. The refuge is situated at Poligono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are and it is open to the public Monday - Friday 3-6pm.

Useful Numbers

Dog & Cat Grooming 628 859 973/938 023 000 If you find an abandoned dog: Arona - 010 • Everywhere else – 112

Can you help one of the featured animals? Have you an article of interest?

Does your pet deserve a feature? Drop me an email at vetpetcare@hotmail.com

Acción del Sol’s weekly news

Acción Del Sol made it its mission to educate children on animal welfare issues and they decided that as well as children’s visits to the refuge and the “Educational Roadshows “ a permanent classroom was the way forward. Because of their continuous interest, discipline and continuity the school CEIP, Parque De La Reina in Arona was selected to receive the first animal protection classroom on the island. Friday the 30th of March was the official opening of the classroom. The headmaster of the school Domingo Arias, welcomed Miguel Àngel Mendéz, Concejalde Educación y cultura de Arona, FranciscoJosé Nziño Rodrigué, ConcejalÀrea Turismo y Sanidad de Arona and Carmelo Garcia Martin, ConcejalÀrea de Urbanismo de Arona to this unique facility. The school has 500 pupils who will all benefit

My name is Steph and some of you may have heard me on Coast FM each Thursday when I try to find good homes for fantastic pets. Each week this page will be filled with both useful and entertaining information to keep you up to date with the world of pets here in the Canaries.

Paws for Thought:

Moving with pets

24 Hour Vets: Fanabe - 617 483 707 El Medano - 607 346 183 Playa San Juan – 922 832 344

The Little Dogs’ Home LOST

Boomer went missing on Saturday 31st March at around 8pm in the El Roque area of San Miguel. Fireworks scared him from his garden and he ran uphill towards Jama/La Escalona. He is wearing a collar and is very friendly. If you see him please call his owners on 637 406 685 as they are very worried.

Things are busier than ever at The Little Dogs’ Home. With more residents staying with them until new homes are found, Chris, Babs and Brod continue to work hard to maintain the upkeep of the place - still spotless by the way - as well as try and earn money to feed, treat and care for them. As ever, if you have a spare few hours over the week that you would like to put to good use please get in touch with them. They can always benefit from an extra pair of hands and the rewards are invaluable. They can be contacted on 672 917 193.

46 BONSAI TREE CARE Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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gardening

Watering accomplishes three things for your bonsai.

First, and most obviously, it provides H²O for your tree. Secondly, the water that flows through the soil carries nutrients your plant needs and washes out the excess salts that might otherwise build up. Third, and least obvious, the flow of water pushes out the old, spent gasses in the soil and pulls in new, fresh atmosphere. People are conditioned to believe all the plants transpiration takes place in the leaves, but if that was true, how would a plant that was totally cut down spring back from the roots? The first few inches of soil are crucial to all of a plant’s functions; even a mighty oak does most of its feeding and drinking and much of its “breathing” in the top foot of soil. It is this reliance on a shallow soil profile that allows us to grow trees in such shallow pots in the first place. The porous quality of bonsai soil allows for quicker water flows and better gas exchange; this is why bonsai soil is so granular; it helps develop a dense mat of roots to support a dense mass of foliage.

Emergencies

Emergency services (all) 112 National Police 091 Local police 092 Ambulance 061 Fire Brigade 080 Guardia Civil 062

Pharmacy information and locator (24 hours) 922 282 424 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

Tour operators (in alphabetical order) Cosmos

Bonsai watering basics

Some quick watering tips:

The old Japanese adage is to water three times; once for the pot, once for the soil, and once for the tree. By going back and forth over your collection three times it allows the water to soak into the soil and the pot and leave water for the tree to take in. Don’t just water the soil. All parts of a plant absorb water to some degree; 35% of the water intake for a plant doesn’t involve the root system at all. Washing off the foliage also keeps dust and pollutants from clogging stomata or breathing holes in the plant’s leaves. Sure it’s raining, but is it enough to get good flow-through? Better safe than sorry; water anyway. Been raining all week? Prop up one end of the pot a few inches to increase drainage. Using the hose to water? Too much water pressure can blast soil out of pots; be sure to get an adjustable spray nozzle to allow for different needs (Get one with a mist setting; it’s great for occasional wash downs of the foliage). Keep in mind that if that hose has been lying in the sun for a few days, that first blast can boil a tree (literally!). Once a week or so, water by totally immersing the pot in water until the bubble trail stops. This assures top to bottom watering and lets the pot and soil soak up their maximum holding capacity, making it easier to keep them watered during the rest of the week. Water early in the day. If you must, water late in the day, but be aware that this leaves your plants more vulnerable to fungus. Plants don’t transpirate (breathe) above 85°F (29.5°C), so when you water in midday, you temporarily cool the leaf enough to start transpiration, which allows the moisture inside the leaf to escape in the “exhalation”; kind of counterproductive; and the water sitting on a leaf in the sun can act as a lens, burning leaves.

Useful Numbers

The “Bono-Bus” discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30% Radio taxis 922 641 112 922 747 511 Note: taxi cabs display a “SP” (servicio público) plate on the rear of the car.

National ferry services

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) For flights from Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights Flight information 902 404 704 (line open 24 hours) Airport information 922 759 000 Tourist information 922 392 037

922 176 002

922 793 802

Thomas Cook 922 757 409

Thomson

922 798 607

TUI

922 777 720

Transport Buses

TITSA (Tenerife’s public bus company) 922 531 300

TFN - Tenerife North Airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some international and mainland services Flight information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General information 922 635 800

Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252

Tourist offices (in alphabetical order) Costa Adeje 922 750 633

El Médano La Laguna

922 631 194

La Orotava

922 323 041

Las Galletas

922 730 133

Los Cristianos 922 757 137

Los Llanos de Aridane 922 401 899

Playa de las Américas 922 796 668

Playa de las Vistas 922 787 011

Puerto de la Cruz 922 386 000

Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 289 394

Santiago del Teide 922 860 348

Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) 902 003 121

So watering early beats all these problems and gives you a few uninterrupted minutes with your trees, and that can be a real stress beater! If you have flowering bonsai, don’t water the flowers; it’ll make them pass almost instantly… This is the most important part of bonsai care. Watering is a learned skill; in Japan an apprentice is given pruning shears on his first day but he won’t touch a watering can for another four years! Bonsai Tree - Shaping Your Bonsai Tree

There are three basic goals to pruning.

One, to remove branches that clutter the chosen style and obstruct your basic design. Two, pruning to redirect growth (we prune one area heavily and another much less; growth is directed to the less pruned area) Third, we have fine pruning techniques like leaf pruning, and bud or candle pinching to encourage fine branching and back-budding. We decide what is the appropriate level of cutting to support our root pruning. Was it a light 1/3 and then back into the same pot? A pinching of tips or pruning off some leaves would do fine. Did we take half the root ball to fit it into a new container? Then more drastic measures are in order. In Multi-lingual police most cases the design central office could use sprucing up 902 102 112 some, and there are too Call this number and ask many branches on most for an English operator to of the commercial bonsai make an official report or complaint. Local police 922 757 006 Red Cross Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

Hospitals and Medical centres (answering machine)

094 Hospital Las Américas, Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022 Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000

Irish Consulate 922 745 671

British Consulate

Address: Plaza Wayler, 8, 1o, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 286 863 Opening hours: Mon-Fri, 8:30am - 1:30pm British Consul: Matthew Vickers British Vice-Consul Helen Keating

Enjoy your trees…

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

1. Four 2. Bowler 3. Scooby Doo 4. Tinkerbell 5. Futurama 6. Red, Green and Blue

Watering - The most important part of Bonsai care. This is the crux of the art of bonsai. Most trees that die are lost to dehydration, either from lack of watering or from being kept in a low humidity environment (indoors) too long. Different soils dry at different rates, trees differ from species to species in water requirements and even different styles of pots dry out at varying rates, so each pot must be checked regularly until you become more familiar with the plant in question. The other end of the spectrum, over-watering can damage plants nearly as quickly; it is in finding the proper balance of soil, water and air that you will develop a healthy root system and thus a healthy bonsai.

for sale, so there is some room to move here. Let’s look at some of the stuff to lose… Crossing branches are any branches that cross the trunk or each other. If it isn’t a branch you need or can wire back into a suitable placing it goes… Eye pokers are branches that stick out of the front straight toward you. They go… Twigs that point straight down off of a branch all go… Step away from the bonsai tree You’ve already taken a fair amount of foliage off and that’s probably a good start for your tree. Take a few days (or a week or two) to look over your plant and make any other decisions on what else to prune. Waiting for that bounce-back is probably a good idea at this point; it’ll give you some time to look at pictures of similar trees and get ideas. It’s really easy to get carried away and cut the branches off; putting them back on is almost impossible so let’s make sure we want them gone. If there is any question in your mind, leave it be! Branches help fatten the trunk; often a large “sacrificial” branch is left below the #1 branch to fatten the lower trunk. In most of the styles we alternate left, back, right, back or vice versa (back branches can alternate back-left or back-right or straight as you see fit). The windswept and broom styles are obviously exceptions to this rule. Twin trunk styles treat the two trunks together as one tree (Left, back on trunk1, right, back on #2, etc.) Main branches should not fall directly over each other; move one a little forwarding the pot and the other one back. The branches should become shorter and closer together as we get towards the top; in general I look for the tiny tree in the shrub in front of me and cut off what doesn’t make sense. Decide not just what you want your tree to look like today, but what it will look like ten years down the road; bonsai rewards the patient and the far-sighted and teaches it to those of us who are neither… Bonsai is a rewarding hobby that will stay with you for life as long as you keep watering.

ai Br

ai r T

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 FOOD

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Welcome to Karoline’s Kitchen The yearly celebration of Easter has arrived, and alongside all the chocolate and religious celebrations I have prepared a couple of lovely recipes to celebrate the Easter period.

These are great recipes to make with friends or family. Why not do something with the children this holiday time and get baking? Starting off with some totally scrummy Hot Cross Bun

Muffins, then some easy to make chocolate nests with little treats in them and finishing with a lovely boiled gammon in cola. Wishing you all a very happy Easter holiday time.

Hot Cross Bun Muffins

135g dried cranberries (arándanos) 1 cup (150g) currants 2 1/2 cups (375g) self-raising flour 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda 2 tsp ground cinnamon (canela) 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg (nuez moscada) 2/3 cup (165ml) sunflower oil 1 cup (250ml) milk 2 eggs 200g caster sugar, plus extra 2 tbs 80g icing sugar 1 tsp lemon juice

Easy Chocolate Nests

Melt a 100g bar of chocolate gently in a bowl over a pan of water. Don’t let the bottom of the bowl touch the simmering water as it will turn grainy. When chocolate has completely melted; add a 65g bag of desiccated coconut and mix well. Spoon small dollops of the chocolate mix onto some baking parchment paper in the shape of small birds’ nests and, before the chocolate cools completely, place some jelly beans or chocolate eggs onto the little nests. Chill them in the fridge until ready to eat. (You can replace the coconut with cornflakes or mix them both together to create a more robust chocolate nest).

Preheat oven to 200°C. Grease a 12-hole muffin tray and line with muffin baking cases. Soak dried fruit in just enough boiling water to cover for 10 minutes. Drain well, then pat dry with paper towel. Sift the flour, soda and spices into a large bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk to-

Have a great week cooking and if you have any recipes that you wish to share or any tips or family cheats then get in touch by email on; karoline@tenerifeweekly.es Until next time,

Karoline Shovlar

gether the oil, milk, eggs and sugar until combined. Add to the dry ingredients and stir to combine. Gently stir in the fruit. Divide the mixture among muffin cases, then bake for 20-25 minutes until lightly browned and a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Cool completely on a wire rack. Meanwhile, place the extra 2 tbs sugar in a pan with 2 tbs water and simmer over low heat; stirring, until sugar dissolves. Brush the glaze over the muffins. Sift icing sugar into a bowl. Add lemon juice and just enough hot water to make a thick, pipable icing. Use a piping bag or drizzle from a spoon to draw a cross on each muffin. Leave the icing set and then enjoy..

Gammon in Cola

Choose a good sized joint of gammon, 2kg should serve 4 and leave some left over for sandwiches the next day. Place the gammon in a large saucepan and pour over enough cola to cover the meat. Bring to the boil and then turn the heat down to a simmer and let it cook with a lid on for about 2.5 hours, checking every so often to ensure that it doesn’t boil dry, you can top up with more cola or water if you wish. After the time has elapsed, pour away the excess cola and place the meat onto a baking sheet. You can serve this now as it is or you could carefully remove a thin layer of the hard fat leaving a layer of white fat on the joint. Gently score the fat that is left on the meat and place a few cloves in the skin to give it some extra flavour, then pour some honey or black treacle over the skin and then place into a high heated over for 10-15 minutes until the skin has crisped up. Carve at the table for an impressive response and get your guests to guess what the gammon has been cooked in.

Two Tasty Easter Recipies Courtesy of Mark from Casa Tres “Send me your feedback at: food@tenerifeweekly.es”

Smoked salmon mille feuilli

Smoked salmon Cream cheese Fresh Chives, dill or Parsley Lemon Capers Red onion Salt & pepper Pancakes

After making some pancakes take a scone cutter or some form of ring and cut out 4 circles per portion, slowly cook them in a pan or under the grill until they crisp. To the cream cheese add some fresh chopped herbs any of the above complement this dish a squeeze of lemon juice a little salt and ground black pepper. Slice the red onions into rings and you are almost ready to serve ...... Place the ring in the off centre of the plate and layer pancake and top with some cream cheese then a pancake followed with smoked salmon another cake and again cheese pancake and finaly smoked salmon, Garnish with onion rings and capers and some fresh leaves.

Flamed banoffee 1 banana per portion 2 spoon of brown sugar 1 oz/25g butter Shot dark rum Double cream Digestive biscuits Lime Crush the digestives with 1 spoon of sugar. Zest the lime (maybe by using a vegetable peeler and then cutting into fine strips). Melt the butter and fry the bananas until warm, without Colour. Add the 1 spoon of sugar and melt dissolve Next carefully add the rum and set alight (I said be careful). Squeeze in some lime juice Sprinkle with lime zest for garnish Serve In a bowl with the biscuits on the

bottom topped with bananas and syrup and finally topped with whipped double cream.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 TECHNOPHILE

Toshiba AT200 review

The Toshiba AT200 takes everything we like in an Android tablet – excellent screen, impressive connectivity and Flash browser - and trims it down to 7.7mm. Although the brand hasn’t struck gold with previous tablets, the new Toshiba AT200 has Android top players like the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 and Asus Transformer Prime square in its sights. It’s got the size thing going for it (as well as being only 7.7mm thick, it weighs a feather-light 520g) as well as a load of connectivity. Although the AT200 is a Honeycomb device in an Ice Cream Sandwich world, it’s a good £150-£200 (180-240Euros) cheaper than the flagship devices from Asus and Samsung. It’s not a perfect device; the 5MP rear-facing camera is ropey and, given the supermodel-slim form factor, the buttons on the side of the device are a little on the fiddly side. But, you have to credit Toshiba for cramming a lot of features and usability into what is a very thin and light tablet. Build Like the other premium Android tablets, the AT200 dispenses with physical buttons on the front of the device. All you get is the customary black bezel – thankfully it’s not a thick one – and the circular lens for the 1.3MP front-facing camera. Flip the AT200 over though, and you get a single sheet of brushed aluminium that makes up the entire back panel of the device. It’s not the easiest surface to grip, but it does look nice. Predictably enough, there’s not much room on the side of the tablet for large, comfortable buttons. In order to power the device on and adjust the volume you might find yourself using your fingernails on more than one occasion. But overall, there’s no getting away from the fact that this is a very slim, very light device – meaning it’s perfect for slipping into a bag or briefcase and carrying around for the day. Screen The AT200 has a 10.1-inch screen with a pixel resolution of 1,280 x 800 and, like every other tablet screen, has been completely eclipsed by the display on the new iPad. However, we were pleased to see that brightness, an oft-quoted criticism of shoddy Android tablets, wasn’t an issue here. The screen will play full 1080p high definition content and, because the bezel isn’t too thick, the experience isn’t interrupted. The screen supports multi-touch, so zooming in and out of maps, web pages or other apps can be handled with a single pinch and the capacitive response was quick and reliable. Usability Plenty of headline space has been given over to Google’s new Ice Cream Sandwich OS, but the Toshiba AT200 still relies on Honeycomb (version 3.2) a tablet-optimised operating system that has a funky Tron-like neon blue theme and five home screens to fill with apps. Unlike other manufacturers, Toshiba hasn’t added any customisations or skins, leaving the OS to run pretty much uninterrupted. You can use Google Play to access the 400,000 available apps and you’ll find using the on-screen keypad to tap out searches is easy enough; the keys are big and the tactile feedback is comfortable.

FIFA Street Tops UK Gaming Chart for a Third Week

FIFA Street has made it a hat trick securing a third consecutive week atop the UK All Format Gaming Chart ahead of a flurry of other EA published releases. Taking top honours in the UK Gaming Chart for the third time in as many weeks since its 16th March launch, FIFA Street rounded out the week ending 31st March ahead of Mass Effect 3 with new entry Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13 entering the fray in the final podium position. The first non EA entrant to this week’s chart sees Capcom’s Resident Evil: Operating Raccoon City line up in fourth ahead of the longstanding hit, and fourth of EA’s six top ten entries, FIFA 12. With Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations entering the chart in sixth, epic first-person shooter rivals Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 and Battlefield 3 fought it out for seventh and eighth sports respectively. Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games and EA’s snowboarding themed SSX completed the top ten.

Assassin’s Creed 3 Special Edition Release Details Ahead of the game’s October release

Surfing the web is also a pleasant experience and, because the browser supports Flash, you can load up embedded videos straight from the page. Toshiba has included Toshiba Places – its own version of an app market that lets you rent movies, download games and buy music. You need to sign up for access and, although it can’t compete with Google Play, it’s an exclusive addition that some might want to take advantage of. Performance The Toshiba AT200 runs on an ARM Cortex A9 (1.2GHz) dual-core processor with 1GB RAM. The overall performance is good but it doesn’t beat the Tegra 3 power of the Transformer Prime or, indeed, the end-to-end synchronicity of the iPad family. However, the AT200 does offer better connectivity. There’s a micro-USB port, micro-HDMI port and a MicroSD card slot for expanding the storage. In terms of standalone storage, you can pick up the Toshiba AT200 with either 16GB or 32GB of space. One point though, you can’t charge via USB – you’ll have to use Toshiba’s bundled proprietary charger to juice up this tablet. On occasion, such as zooming in quickly in Google Maps or loading up 1080p video in YouTube there’s a fractional lag but no dealbreaking performance issues here. Unfortunately though, the 5MP camera isn’t up to scratch. Although there’s the usual range of effects (sepia, negative) to choose from, the images looked grainy at best. Battery When it comes to battery life, the AT200 performed well, but not exceptionally so. Streaming 1080p video from YouTube and looping the footage for 297 minutes is all you get before the battery dies. Given a more sympathetic treatment, you should be able to get the 8 hours of use that Toshiba claim you can reach with this tablet. Verdict Toshiba’s AT200 tablet is a much better device than the earlier Toshiba AT100 and an excellent example of a portable and well-built Android machine. Both its 7.7mm slimness and 520g weight are excellent reasons to recommend this tablet but, in truth, we don’t think it does enough to outshine the power of the Transformer Prime or the quality of the iPad. The AT200 is a great tablet, it’s functional, durable and very practical – it’s just not quite as desirable as some of the other options available.

Apple files 3D camera and avatar patents

Tech giant Apple is reportedly working on a new ‘killer’ 3D camera and an app enabling users to create video game-style avatars. The Patently Apple website spotted an Apple filing for a 3D imaging camera that would apply to both still images and videos on iOS devices. In an article published on Friday (30th March), Patently Apple said that the new camera technology is being developed in Apple’s labs and will most likely feature in the next generation of iPad and iPhones. The camera uses depth-detection sensors such as LIDAR, RADAR and Laser to create stereo disparity maps in 3D images. They will also use advanced chrominance and luminance Sensors for superior accuracy in the colours, as well as bring facial gesture recognition to Apple devices. Various smartphones from firms such as HTC offer 3D camera technology and facial recognition, but Patently Apple believes that Apple’s Retina screen technology will make the difference. The site says the technology covered in the patent filing “will definitely provide iOS devices with the ability to view killer 3D images that could only be appreciated on Apple’s ‘Resolutionary’ Retina Display”. It adds: “Apple’s resolutionary experience has only begun. With the ability to view stunning 3D imagery, photos and videos on our new iPad displays, the resolutionary experience is only going to pop our brains even further.”

date, publisher Ubisoft has revealed it is to launch three special edition box sets of its upcoming flagship gaming release Assassin’s Creed 3. Offering gamers a flurry of additional options when snapping up the much fancied addition to the Assassin’s Creed franchise, Ubisoft has confirmed that as well as launching the standard title, it will also make available an Assassin’s Creed 3 ‘Special Edition’, ‘Join or Die Edition’ and a ‘Freedom Edition’. Kicking things off with the standard Special Edition; those plumping for the more exclusive offering will be rewarded with a specially packaged retail copy of the game as well as an exclusive single player mission dubbed ‘A Dangerous Secret.’ Building on this, the newly unveiled Assassin’s Creed 3 Join or Die Edition will see gamers add a new multiplayer package and an addition single player mission to the retail release with the medallion of the Assassins and George Washington’s notebook with secrets and tips also joining the mix. Combining all of these additional offering with a flurry more, the Freedom Edition adds a 24cm high figurine of the title’s protagonist, Connor, as well as an additional single player mission and a steel book case art drawn by award winning comic artist Alex Ross. Set to land as Ubisoft’s flagship release for 2012 as an attempted Christmas chart topper, an Assassin’s Creed 3 UK release date has been set for October 31st with the title to land for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC gamers.

Sony Xperia Play for Android 4.0 update Sony has announced that the beta version of Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich is now available to download for its Xperia Play handset. The current build of the Google operating system is aimed solely at developers, but its release suggests that the software will be given a general roll out in the near future. Sony’s Xperia Play was the first of its handsets to receive PlayStation certification. The purpose of the Ice Cream Sandwich beta is to establish which of the available games will require optimisation for the OS. Users who download the beta version of the software onto their handset will not be able to install the final build when it arrives. Sony previously announced that its recently released Xperia S smartphone will receive an Android 4.0 update. Other handsets in the line, such as the Xperia Arc, will also be given the new operating system. Google’s Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich OS debuted with the launch of the Samsung Galaxy Nexus November 17, 2011.

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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CLASSIFIED

CALDERS CONFESSIONS

• Legal Services

• Situations Vacant Established Marketing Company in Torviscas Alto is looking for Romanian, Slovakian, Czech, Polish and Bulgarian staff with some spoken English to work in marketing office. Must be self-motivated and work as a team Some computer knowledge an advantage. Basic wage and excellent commission Tel Sue on: 922 713 070 or 686 154 066 Or email your C.V. to: suecampbell@regencyresorts.com

Real People, Unreal Lives

SUNDAYS EVENINGS FROM 10PM PLEASE RE-TUNE 89.2 TO 106.6 106.6 South 103.7 West 97.3 North www.coastfmtenerife.com • Delivery Services

• Cleaning Services

Regency Resorts is one of Europe’s largest and most successful companies. They are looking for experienced Sales executives for their clients. You must speak English and have a positive attitude and be willing to work hard. Top commissions, high spiffs and quick payouts.

Send your CV to admin@regencyresorts.com or fax it to 922 712162

Customer relations required

For dinner show in Las Américas. Must have an outgoing personality, smart in appearance and fluent in English. Basic pay, bonuses and contract offered to the right person.

Call 603 391 256

Are you money motivated? Do you want to work part time hours for full time wages? • Household Services

Looking for something different?

blue flag travel 673 478 920

recruitment@blueflagtravel.com

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 CLASSIFIED

• Electrical

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• GT MOTORS

Short and long term rentals FROM JUST 230€ Tel: 922 738 410 Mob: 639 835 137

• Car Rentals

• Air Con • Car Maintenance

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012

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MOTORING/DIY

Maintaining Car Tyres

It is vital that you check your car tyres regularly, for wear, cracking, bulging, pressure or objects caught in the tread. Not only are defective tyres highly dangerous but if found by the police to be defective (that is with a tyre tread of less than 1.6mm across the central 3/4 of the tyre or in any other way unroadworthy) you will face a fine of up to 3,000 Euros and 3 penalty points per tyre.

Most car tyres have tread wear indicators, usually six small ribs across the bottom of the main tread grooves (see picture above.) When the tread surface becomes level with these ribs the tyre is at the legal limit and must be replaced.

Tyre Pressure • You should aim to check tyre pressure, including the spare, once a week.

• Correct tyre pressures results in optimised braking, handling, grip and fuel efficiency. • Low tyre pressure will increase your car’s fuel consumption, shorten the life of the tyre and increase risk of tyre failure. • High tyre pressure will cause diminished grip, reduce stability in braking and cornering and increase the risk of impact tyre damage. • Only check you tyre pressure when the tyres are cold. It is vital that you check tyre pressure only when the tyres are cold, after driving no more than two miles. Warm tyres, achieved by driving no more than a few miles, will provide a false reading. The correct tyre pressure for your particular car will be listed in the owner’s manual and/or on a placard mounted on the car. The correct tyre pressure will relate to the load the car is carrying - the higher the load the higher the pressure. If you don’t own a pressure gauge then the easiest way to check tyre pressure is by using a digital air dispenser found at most petrol stations. These are very easy to use and there should be instructions on how to

do so on the machine itself. Correctly inflated tyres provide the best safety, highest mileage and optimum fuel consumption. Prolonged under-inflation causes excessive flexing, deterioration of the casing and rapid wear of the tread shoulders. The vehicle will also consume more fuel and will have less grip, and so longer braking distance. There will also be an increased risk of the tyre rupturing. Over-inflation results in an uncomfortable ride, a reduced area of contact with the road, accelerated wear on the tread centre and makes the tyre more susceptible to impact damage.

AIR CONDITIONING Living and working in a comfortable environment

1. What is air conditioning? The purpose of air conditioning is to control the filtration, air movement, temperature and humidity of an atmospheric environment. Air conditioning is always associated with the cooling and dehumidification process of air and is always therefore identified with refrigeration equipment. The full control over relative humidity by the addition of moisture by means of a humidifier and the use of a humidifier constitutes full air conditioning, but this control is not always exercised. However, the more often used partial or comfort air conditioning which uses refrigeration equipment only and is therefore capable of cooling as well as dehumidifying is still referred to as air conditioning. From the foregoing therefore the term ‘ventilation’ should not be confused with air conditioning as refrigeration equipment is not necessarily provided with ventilation equipment. 2. What is relative humidity? The atmosphere always contains moisture in the form of water vapour. The maximum amount of water vapour that

may be contained in the air depends on the temperature of the air and the higher the temperature of the air, the more water vapour may be contained. At high temperatures and high moisture contents extreme discomfort is experienced as the evaporation of moisture from the body into the atmosphere by the process of perspiration becomes difficult. In the air conditioning process the moisture content of the air may be reduced by the use of a cooling coil or added by the use of a humidifier. The term relative humidity is simply a ratio between the actual moisture content of the air compared with the moisture content of the air required for saturation at the same temperature, i.e. at 100% relative humidity (also known as saturation point). The air conditioning engineer uses the psychometric chart to analyse how the state of moist air alters as an air conditioning process takes place. 3. Is there a difference between comfort conditioning and industrial conditioning? Yes, the object of comfort conditioning, as the name implies, is solely to provide a comfortable environment for the majority of occupants. Humans are reasonably tolerant to humidity and may be comfortable from a range of between 55% and 20% relative humidity at normal comfort temperatures. It is therefore common when specifying to limit the humidity in summer and not specify a limit in winter.

Typically therefore a specification would state an internal condition of 22°C / 50% relative humidity being maintained at 30°C / 20°C wet bulb external conditions in summer. In winter the specification may typically be 21°C internal temperature at -3°C saturated outside air temperature. Industrial conditioning is provided generally for a process which requires a closely controlled atmosphere. A typical specification may be that an internal environment is required of say 21°C ±0.5°C and 50% relative humidity ±2.5% at all external conditions. It will be seen therefore that the industrial conditions for clearly defined limits rather than comfort conditioning which is based on statistical surveys of occupants feelings. Portable air conditioners provide an inexpensive alternative to having a fixed ‘through the wall’ system and of course, as the name implies, can be moved around the house. 4. What is meant by a “ton” of refrigeration? Confusingly the unit has little to do with weight, as used in common parlance. One ton of refrigeration is the term used to refer to 12,000 B.T.U.s/hour (British Thermal Units/Hour) of cooling effect. Thus a chilling or condensing unit with a cooling capacity of 60,000 B.T.U.s/hour is said to have a capacity of 5 tons. It should be noted that the unit B.T.U./hour is a unit of heat flow still widely used in North America, Canada and parts of Asia whereas Europe uses the ‘watt’. One ton of refrigeration approximates to 3.5kW of cooling.

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 advertisment

Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 sport

Mitcham Returns to Form

Tom Daley’s competition for a platform medal in London this summer has intensified following the return to form of Olympic champion Matthew Mitcham at the Australian trials. Mitcham has been plagued by injury for the past year but attracted perfect 10s from all seven judges on one of his dives to post a plus-550 score. That would have been enough to beat Daley at last month’s World Series event in Beijing, when the British teenager claimed silver behind world champion Qiu Bo. Mitcham said: “It looks like

everything I’m doing is starting to work and fall into place. I’m starting to dive like the old me again. It is the first time since my injury last year that I have dived with no pain.” Mitcham broke the Chinese domination at the 2008 Beijing Olympics when he won gold in the 10m platform but his preparation for London has been undermined by a stomach injury suffered last April. The 24-year-old made a return to international competition at February’s World Cup meet at the London Aquatics Centre but failed to make the final.

Tenerife’s “WILD BULL” Darts League, better known as “The Sunday Darts League” started as a joke in February 2005. “We wanted to have something to do on those (sometimes) ‘boring’ Sunday afternoons and a new Darts League was born. A few weeks ago (mid February 2012) we started our 12th edition! All games are played on Sunday afternoon starting at 4PM and usually lasting about 2-3 hours. Our league teams play bars from Callao Salvaje through to Los Abrigos. Each season lasts about 6 to 8 months, depending of the number of teams. At the end of every season the bottom 3 teams of the highest division are relegated and the top 3 teams of the lower division are promoted. With one of the best groups of players of the island we are known as the “FUN” League and our purpose is to keep it this way. Tourists also get to play in your team enjoy-

Henderson Keen on National Boom

Nicky Henderson is looking forward to running Shakalakaboomboom in the John Smith’s Grand National at Aintree next week. The Lambourn trainer has been trying to win the world’s greatest steeplechase for more than 30 years, without success. However, in Shakalakaboomboom he has a horse that jumped the National fences when seventh in the Topham Chase last season, and this term his preparation has gone perfectly well so far. “He’s our intended runner and is all ready to go,” Henderson told At The Races. “After the Topham, in which he jumped beautifully, it was just that two-miles-six was a bit short for him. He went on to Punchestown where he won the Pat Taaffe Chase, then he came out at Cheltenham over three miles and a bit first time out this season and his stamina helped him a lot. He was second in the Great Yorkshire (Doncaster). “It’s been a nice preparation, it’s always been the plan and consequently he didn’t go to Cheltenham. I think 10st 12lb is an area horses can win from and he’s in good form. It’s nice he’s been there once before.” Henderson also has Burton Port in the National, but the Cheltenham Gold Cup fourth is more likely to run in the Betfred Bowl at the big meeting on Merseyside instead. “We’ve discussed it with Trevor (Hemmings, owner) and

Barcelona into the Champions League Semi-Finals

Shakalakaboomboom (right) we are still undecided as he also has Ballabriggs in the National so it’s more likely that Burton Port will run in the (Betfred) Bowl rather than the National,” Henderson went on. “He ran a very good race in the Gold Cup. We have National fences here and he has jumped them well but he’s not a big fella and he would have a great chance in the Bowl. “Trevor already has Ballabriggs in the National so it seems sensible to play it that way. He’s still in the National and he’s there as a reserve if, God forbid, something went wrong with Ballabriggs. We could bring Burton Port into it, or think about it anyway.”

Barcelona is through to the semifinals of the Champions league after defeating Milan at the Camp Nou 3-1. Messi scored two penalties, with the third goal coming from Iniesta. Milan got one back with Nocerino to equalise the game for a time, but it was a disputed penalty from Nesta on Busquets that set things Barcelona’s way.

ing a good standard of darts and local hospitality. Spanish players and teams are starting to understand the advantage of the Wild Bull Darts Machines and are making the big step from soft tip to steel tip Every 4 – 5 weeks Open Darts Competitions are arranged where the winner and runner are rewarded with a cup or trophy. Players of the Wild Bull Darts League are entered for free in these competitions. They are classified following the division (1st or 2nd) where they play in our league. Female players have their own separate Ladies Competition. Non-league players are very welcome too, they pay 5 Euros to enter and will play automatically with the 1st division players. At the end of each season is our Presentation Night where the 3 best teams of each division get their

1st Division Rank Team

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After the game, Pep Guardiola said that they had deserved to win, and that he wanted to see Barça having opportunities against Inter as two years ago they had few. It means that Barcelona has qualified for the semi-finals of the Champions for the last five years. In the other match on Tuesday night, Bayern beat O Marselle 2-0.

league cups, special trophies are given to the players with the most 180’s and the highest check out of each division, competition cups are handed over and after this all there is live music and entertainment With Coast FM Radio and Wild Bull Darts League we aim to bring you even more entertainment and “fun day Sunday afternoons” Join us on our travels in Wild Bull “Coast FM” Darts League You can hear more information of our league on Coast FM radio. Coast FM will bring you live broadcasting on Sunday afternoons AND you can see our weekly league results along with the hot news from the bars in the free local newspaper TENERIFE WEEKLY. Participating in our league is only possible if you have a Wild Bull Darts Machine installed in your bar provided by Dardos Tournament SLU. But even if you are not interested in our Darts League you can still have a “Wild Bull” in your bar. Don’t hesitate to contact us if you want any kind of information. Call 696 792 794 or send us an email: raf.vandenberghe@ jarani2003.e.telefonica.net

2nd Division Played

Points

Rank Team

Played

Points

Meigas

Chipeque Nomads

Target A

La Central

Our Place B

Beesnees

Cozy Wanderers

Our Place A

Legends

Rood

El Candil de Abuela

Target B

Happy Gavines

Chipeque

Malabar

Apolo

Beesnees´Hunnies

Los Halcones

Cosy Cabrons

Belgian Beer Bar

Los Halcones

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Tenerife Weekly - 6th April - 12th April 2012 SPORT

THE SPORTS SCENE WITH PETER QUILTY

SPONSORED BY THE BUZZIN OF CALLAO SALVAJE FOR ALL THE BEST IN SPORT Hello everyone and what a week that was: we have a player getting better, another player suffering from cancer, other players with handbags at ten places and another player telling his manager to go forth and multiply. Yes you have guessed it; these are highly paid professional footballers, but it does make great watching and reading.

I was so pleased to hear that the Aston Villa skipper Stiliyan Petrov, who begins treatment in a London hospital after being diagnosed on Friday with acute leukaemia, has decided to fight the disease “head on.” The Bulgarian midfielder, 32, made an emotional return to Villa Park to watch his team-mates go down in a battling 4-2 defeat to Chelsea. He has vowed to fight the disease using Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba, 23, as his inspiration. Muamba suffered a cardiac arrest in the FA Cup against Tottenham a fortnight ago but is making a miraculous recovery at the London Chest Hospital. Petrov revealed a picture of Muamba sitting up in bed, plus numerous ‘get well soon’ messages, had inspired him to get back to health. I think everyone in Football inspires him to fight this awful disease and beat it. As for players getting out of theirs prams; I managed to get to watch the second half of the Spurs v Swansea game at my sponsor’s watering hole, ´The Buzzin´. Chris, the Buzzin Blazer, was only to pleased to tell me about more players getting wet behind the ears after I mentioned the Balotelli fracas. I bet Sir Alex Ferguson must have been laughing his head off watching the highlights of Manchester City’s game on Saturday and with Utd´s big game on Monday.

It was not so much the fact they dropped another two points in the race for the title.

It was the on-pitch implosion lead by Mario Balotelli which will have told him what he wanted to know - are Manchester City are starting to crack. Balotelli’s behaviour on Saturday was a disgrace. According to the report he had spent the whole afternoon wrapped up in his own personal soap opera. ‘Why always me’ he asked on that infamous T-shirt. ‘Why does it always have to be about you?’, I would ask. At a time when City needs everyone pulling in the same direction, he acted like a selfish spoilt brat. For most of the game he was ambling about the pitch looking like a man whose dog had just been run over. Then when it came to that second-half free-kick moment he turned even his own fans against him. City were struggling and running out of time when he chose to have a stand-up row with full-back Aleksandar Kolarov over who should take a free-kick. Whatever the case, it was a moment that smacked of division in the camp. I know it’s not the first time on the pitch when similar things have happened. I remember a couple when Blackburn’s, David Batty and Graeme Le Saux went at it during a Champions League game at Spartak Moscow in 1995. Then at Newcastle when Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer went for each other in 2005, who were supposed to be big mates, by the way. Also over the pond, David Beckham has had a fierce bust-up with his LA Galaxy team-mates. Becks got into a shouting match with Sean Franklin and Marcelo Sarvas while walking off at half-time during their 3-1 home defeat to New England. Neither Beckham nor Brazilian Sarvas appeared in the second half. King Kenny blamed the ref and Andy Carroll, who fell over his own feet gave his boss 2 smoking barrels. The £35million misfit, who was also booked for diving, stormed down the tunnel without shaking Dalglish’s hand after being hauled off in the 79th minute. And to complete a miserable day for the Merseysiders, keeper Pepe Reina misses the FA Cup semi-final against Everton on April 14 following his red card for head-butting Toon defender James Perch. Under-pressure Dalglish, who has taken Liverpool on their worst run for more than 50 years. So let’s have a look at how we did. Well I must admit that I failed to put my predications to print last week but I did get 3 wrong with Man City’s draw, Stokes and Arsenals loses, so that gives Martin and I the spoils for this week with 18 points out of a possible 27; that will please the Middlesboro Marauder, as he claims to get them all right every week. Chris, the Buzzin Blazer, got 12 points with Sandy and Ronnie at the

Red Lion bringing up the rear with just 9 points, but they are pleased that Celtic will have to wait till next week to pick the SPL title. So, this week being the Easter weekend, the guys will give their predications for Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. For me I will be back in the UK for Easter and my predications are as follows. Fridays match will see Newcastle continue to win. Saturday wins for Spurs, Everton, Chelsea, Rovers, Fulham and Stoke, a draw for Villa v Liverpool. Sundays, wins for both Man Utd and Arsenal and for Easter Monday wins for Newcastle, Sunderland, Villa and Fulham. Some fantastic Sport coming up with the Masters in Golf, the Masters doesn’t start on Thursday. It’s started. The National, as locals call the course, is already packed and buzzing with anticipation. This week’s 76th edition is shaping up to be a blockbuster, an old-fashioned clash of the Titans - and for good reason. Tiger Woods is back in form and eyeing a fifth Green Jacket in what would surely rank as his greatest win. Rory McIlroy, a young man at the other end of the spectrum, is arguably the hottest property on the golfing planet. A win 12 months on from his infamous collapse would eclipse his spell-binding US Open triumph. Then there is threetime champion Phil Mickelson, (left hander, like me) another Augusta specialist, and world number one Luke Donald. All four with wins this season. All hungry for different reasons. Lee Westwood, ranked third behind McIlroy, says he has been focused on this week since the USPGA in August. That elusive major is all he is missing. Defending

champion Charl Schwartzel leads the supporting cast but comes in under most people’s radars. England’s Justin Rose has led around here and also won recently. A new breed of Americans such as USPGA champion Keegan Bradley and Hunter Mahan are making names for themselves. Aussies Jason Day, Adam Scott and Geoff Ogilvy, South Korea’s KJ Choi, and Argentina’s 2009 champion Angel Cabrera all have claims, too.

Mickael Barzalona on Monterosso

I watched the Dubai World Cup, the world’s richest race with Monterosso winning the $10m (£6.3m).The Godolphin-owned horse, ridden by Mickael Barzalona, finished third in 2011 but showed a burst of pace to move away from favourite and with the Grand National coming up on the 14th, I fancy the Cheltenham Gold Cup winner Synchronised who has taken a step towards a rare double by remaining among the 59 entries for the Grand National. The Jonjo O’Neill-trained horse could become the first in 78 years to capture British steeplechasing’s two biggest races in the same season. Well that’s about it for this week, have a great Easter everyone and I will be writing my Column from a sunny Sedgefield next week I hope. Don’t eat too many chocolate eggs now!!

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