Tenerife Weekly Issue 27 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly

No Bailout: Rajoy has Spat With Italian PM TENERIFE’S LOCAL FREE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

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13th April - 19th April 2012

Issue 27

Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, has reiterated his commitment to structural reforms and fiscal austerity, and ruled out a potential financial rescue for Spain. As the Spanish financial markets sought relief in supportive statements from the European Central Bank (ECB), Rajoy took umbrage at unwanted remarks by his EU partners on Spain’s woes, suggesting they confine themselves to putting their own houses in order. Rajoy did not mention anyone by name, but in a barely veiled and vigorous public rebuke, the Popular Party leader’s remarks were clearly meant for Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti, who was reported as attributing the renewed pressure on Italian government debt to the problems facing Spain. “The situation in the Eurozone and the markets is enormously complex,” Rajoy said in a televised speech directed at members of his party. “There have been remarks by some European leaders again last night (Tuesday, 10th). I want to say that we are not going against anyone; we don’t speak of other countries, and we wish all of them the best.

“

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We want a strong Europe and a strong euro

“What is good for Spain is good for the Eurozone. We all have problems; we are working to resolve ours and help the Eurozone, and I hope that others do the same by being prudent about what they say. We all have a great responsibility. We want a strong Europe and a strong euro.”

Continued on page 3

Calders Confessions Page 43

Sharples In Session

Page 37

Coast FM 106.6 South, 92.2 West, 89.4 North

CONTENTS

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 editorial & legal

3 11 12 14 16 19 34 35 36 37 39

LOCAL NEWS BUSINESS NEWS WORLD NEWS IRISH NEWS NATIONAL NEWS TV GUIDE TIME OUT SHOWBIZ OUT ON THE TOWN SHARPLES IN SESSION COMMUNITY

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40 HEALTH/BEAUTY/FASHION 42 WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE? 43 CALDERS CONFESSIONS 44 PHYCHE/HOROSCOPES PETS’ PAGE 45 47 GARDENING/LOCAL INFO FOOD 48 TECHNOPHILE 49 CLASSIFIED SECTION 50 52 MOTORING/DIY SPORT 54

Editorial

Hello readers, Spain’s fiscal woes are starting to boil over into the wider political spectrum, it would seem. The Italian PM has blamed his country’s short-comings at the feet of Spain. Can I suggest that he firstly takes a look at the account books left by his predecessor, the grasping Mr Berlusconi? The old steamship that kept our little group of islands connected to each other, and indeed the rest of the world, has been retired – 100 years after first taking up the task. To people who lived here before the mid-seventies; this was more important than any telephone or ADSL line could ever be. My motherin-law (a septuagenarian Canarian) was visibly moved when she was told the “Correíllo La Palma” was at the end of its days. Be grateful for the communication infrastructure we have today – could you

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Well the first week of the competion and we had a great response. So we asked those fantastic people at VIVO Decades if we could give away not one pair of tickets but two. The good news is that they said YES... So congratulations go to Eileen Mcguire and Roger French as winners of the issue 26 competition and they have now been booked in to see the Decades Dinner Show with their guests. So here we go again, Wee Keeley has been on the move again. If you can spot where he is hiding this week then call our office on 922 790

wait 3 weeks for a reply to an email?! Those clever people at Tenerife’s tourism office have found another niche for tourists: a website that promotes tours around the many sites used on the island for filming blockbuster movies, such as Wrath of the Titans. A great idea. Hopefully, with this and the new flights coming from the Ukraine; we can expect an upturn in tourist numbers this summer. Fingers crossed. How many of you spent last week sunbathing? My guess would be – not many. What happened to spring? It looked like it was all turning lovely, and then in came the clouds and rain. I live up in the hills and I’ve been experiencing temperatures as low as 5 degrees. I didn’t sign up for this – bring back the sun! Until next time, cuídate.

Colin Taylor. 388 and tell us where he is. Then on Wednesday the winning name will be drawn and the lucky winner will be given 2 free tickets for that weekends Decades Goes To Hollywood dinner show... Happy searching.

Colin Taylor.

The travel company helping you enjoy more for less !

Tel : +34 922 751867 EXT1 E-mail : info@tenerifesunshine.com

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Editor in Chief

Production

Leah Farrell Editor

Stephen Eade

Colin Taylor

Tenerife Weekly Office hours:

Phone:

Mon - Fri 09:00 - 17:00

922 790 388

While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make. The opinion of the owners or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors. The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Editor.

Contributors Carlos Hernández John Hatrick Dave Michaels Phil West Janet Anscombe John Sharples

Ken Cumming Liana Mẽ aly ah Pete Quilty Karen Clack Ray Wilde Steph Tufft

Sales 922 790 388 sales@tenerifeweekly.es Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

300 Athletes Head to Tenerife to Prepare For London 2012

The Tenerife Cabildo has welcomed the Open Third International Taekwondo competition in El Rosario. The contest will be held Saturday (14th) at the Sports Pavilion, Chorrillo (El Rosario) and bring together some three hundred athletes in the junior and cadet categories. Both male and female category will compete against the best in Spain, Sweden, Latvia, Switzerland, Russia, Portugal and Belarus, in a test organized by the Municipal School of Taekwondo and Hapkido. The contest is in preparation for some of the athletes, who will be attending the 2012 London Olympics. The event will be attended by the Minister of Sports, Jesús Pérez, El Rosario’s Councillor for Sport, Ívan Armas, the tournament chairman, Ánibal Díaz, the director of the competition,

Cyrus Noda, and referee, Jávier Cruz. Athletes will compete in Olympic weights of -58, -68, -80 and +80 kilos in male, while females do so in the weights -49, -57, -67 and +67. The national representation will be led by the Natural Sport in Galicia, one of the most successful clubs in Spain. Also in attendance will be Moo Do Kwan of San Sebastian, TKD Joans from Barcelona and Sung Do Kwan, Guadalajara; which boasts Sonia Reyes, World and Olympic medallist (Athens 2004). Canarian representatives are, amongst others, from the Dorya clubs of La Palma and Gran Canaria and Hodori Samguk, Subak and Nuryana from Tenerife. The official welcoming ceremony takes place at 18:00 on Friday, 13th April, with the competition officially starting on Saturday at 21:00.

New Direct Air Link to Ukraine

From June a new air link with the Ukraine will be operating from Tenerife. It will join the existing direct flight, during the summer, and according to Tourism Tenerife it will consolidate the arrival on the island of Ukrainians and other tourists from the east of Europe. Tenerife’s Minister of Tourism, Carlos Alonso, noted the importance of

new markets in the Ukraine and in Eastern Europe in general. He added that this new cache of tourists see the island as an exotic destination, with good climate and luxury, plus a secure and stable country compared to others, such as Egypt or Tunisia. The new flight will have 180 seats per week to join the other 180 that supply the existing flight. The deal is to last for three years,

with flights between the capital, Kiev, and Tenerife each summer. For Mr Alonso, the implementation of this connection shows that, “Ukraine is becoming increasingly more independent from Russia, which, in my opinion, makes it easier for tourists from the country who want to come to Tenerife to do so directly without having to stop in Moscow.”

Continued from page 1

This is the second time Monti has directed his barbs at Spain. Last month, the Italian leader said Spain was “giving Europe every right to be worried.” Rome attempted to diffuse the situation by subsequently issuing a statement saying Italy “had plenty of confidence.” The rift was apparently healed at a face-to-face meeting of the two leaders on the side lines of a summit in Seoul. French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, has also made critical remarks about Spain while campaigning for the presi-

dential elections in his country. At the start of this month, ECB President, Mario Draghi, said the borrowing costs of countries such as Spain had risen sharply of late because of the markets. Rajoy insisted Spain was in no danger of having to ask for a bailout. “There are countries in Europe that can’t finance themselves,” he said. “This is not the case of Spain, and it won’t be the case of Spain in the future. I want to make this clear. That is why I am asking for the utmost prudence and responsibility possible.”

Fuerteventura Gets First Gay Resort The first resort to cater exclusively for gay people will open in El Cotillo, Fuerteventura in a few months. The establishment will not be very big though: barely fifteen rooms. Project promoters are in the middle of negotiations with specialist tour operators. The owners of the complex, which for the moment prefer to remain anonymous, were in the latest edition of ITB Berlin to present their project to German tour operators and, in principle, the reception was considered satisfactory. The goal is for the business to opens its doors this year. El Cotillo, and La Oliva are magnets for gay tourism.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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CCN Councillor Acquitted Of Abusing Wife

The Criminal Court No. 2 in Santa Cruz de Tenerife has acquitted Arico Councilman, Jesús Ramon Montanez (CCN), of domestic violence against his wife, for which the prosecutor asked for one year in jail. Montanez was dismissed as a councillor last week after the mayor of the municipality, the socialist Olivia Delgado, found out he was going to appear in court as a defendant in an alleged crime of abuse. Jesús was acquitted by Judge Díaz Afonso Ana Carolina after his wife refused to testify against him and a family friend in the courtroom could not quite remember the events of 16th April 2008. During the hearing Sr Montanez was asked if it was true that he had pushed and grabbed his wife by the shoulders, as relating to the complaint lodged in 2010 in the Magistrate’s Court No. 4 of Granadilla de Abona. The councillor denied that he had hit his wife during an argument on the night of April 16, 2008. It was also reported that she suffered an anxiety attack and vanished during the dispute. Montanez said that he and his wife had decided to resume their relationship and lived together for more than a year and a half after the incident. Another event that shook the career of the mayor was an email he sent to his wife in August 2010 which said, “You are going to pay, you’ll find out ... You’re a sh*t. It’s a shame that you’re the mother of my son ... I will try to get custody ... You’re crazy... you make me sick ... I’ve lost a lot of time living with a crazy woman.” Ramon Montanez denied not only that he

had sent the email but also said: “I do not use that language.” Also, the councilman said that someone might have tampered with his email account.

Tacoronte Residents Seek Demolition of Mansion

A neighbourhood association in Tacoronte has sent a report to the planning department of La Laguna, which reflect its concerns for the state of an old mansion located at the end of their street. The house, which has been abandoned for over 20 years, is in the upper district of Las Nieves. The area is usually occupied by local youths, who can enter the dilapidated premises easily because the farm, in which the house stands, is not fenced. The surrounding neighbours have turned to the representatives of the association because they are concerned about the safety of the boys, aged 12 to 13 years. The main worry is that they “could suffer a major accident because the ceilings and walls are in bad shape,” said the president

of the association, Jesús Melian. The mansion, about 150 square meters on two floors, has been affectionately nicknamed “The Castle” by the locals. It was built as part of the so-called House of the Lady. The name refers to its owner, a “wealthy lady who moved to the Peninsula and died there.” In fact, she was the owner of all the land surrounding the house, including land where the Canary Islands Sports and social housing, in Piterita, now stands. Around the abandoned mansion is an area of 48,000 square meters of land which

Not Such a Grand Life on the Buses There’s trouble on the buses, or there will be soon, it appears. Titsa has started proceedings to lay off 117 workers and to put around 1,600 more on half time hours with part time pay. The company is looking to make huge savings in the economic crisis amid funding cuts and says that it will also cut back some urban lines, cutting some out altogether, as well as put prices

was acquired by someone in the Basque Country, but now they are left waiting for new planning permissions to determine the use of the land. However, some neighbours have contacted the association to propose ideas for the building. “We talked about possible restoration of the house; to be used as a gazebo or some sort of cultural end,” said Melian. The truth is that this enclave has “incredible views to Santa Cruz to La Laguna,” he added. “For now we need to ensure the building is made safe for the neighbours, as the ceilings are steadily falling,” he said.

up around 5% this year. Titsa’s quality and environment director, Manuel Franco, said that the company simply had no choice, and that it had to look to all areas to try to save money and eliminate inefficiency. Sr Franco confirmed that Titsa was not just studying the viability of certain lines … but much more, covering the whole of Tenerife.

Tenerife Helps To Create Laboratories in Africa

The Tenerife Cabildo is collaborating with the Canary Islands’ Institute of Tropical Diseases and Public Health to establish a network of laboratories in Africa; to monitor and investigate tropical diseases. The Minister of External Affairs, Delia Herrera, recently met with the ambassadors of Nigeria and Senegal in order to advance scientific cooperation projects, financed by the Spanish International Cooperation Agency.

Also present in the meeting with the two African representatives was the director of the Institute for Tropical Diseases, Basilio Valladares. The Cabildo wants to assist in the creation of these centres; work that is already established in Cape Verde, where it will also launch a Tropical Disease Institute. The training of young people of the African nations is also part of the plan. The Minister stressed the insular work of the Institute of Tropical Diseases and Public

Health has become a benchmark in the study of these diseases in developing countries. Last March saw a meeting of the Control of Tropical Diseases and Research (PACIET) involving several countries in Africa, South America and various centres in Spain and Portugal. The meeting had, among its objectives, the training of professionals who wish to earn a Masters degree in Tropical Diseases. Some students are also aiming for a PhD in the field.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

The Mahabharata - A Saga Of Classical Hindu Tradition Jyoti Prakash Udhwani, Correspondant for the local Indian Community History has endeavoured us with such colossal achievements in the prolific forms of epics such as the Iliad, Odyssey, El Cid and of course the ever cherished - Mahabharata and Ramayana. The Mahabharata, famed to be the national epic of India, is considered by scholars worldwide as one of the most prolific form of Literature - containing classical Hindu Tradition in black and white. The Mahabharata is a story of a great war that put an end to one age and a beginning for another. This epic also contains one of the greatest philosophical and religious dialogues known to man which took place just before the onset of the war, a great fratricidal conflict between the hundred sons of Dhrtarastra and on the opposing side, their cousins the Pandavas , or sons of Pandu. hrtarastra and Pandu were brothers born in the Kuru Dynasty, descending from King Bharata, a former ruler of the earth, from whom the name Mahabharata derives. Because Dhrtarastra, the elder brother, was born unsighted, the throne that otherwise would have been his, was passed down to the younger brother, Pandu. When Pandu died at an early age, his five childrenYudishthira, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva- came under the care of Dhrtarastra, who in effect became the King for the time being. Thus the sons of Dhrtarastra and those of Pandu grew up in the same Royal household. Both were trained in own sons, not those of his brother the military arts by the expert, to inherit the kingdom. Drona, and counselled by the re- Thus, Duryodhana, with his spected “grandfather” of the clan, father´s consent, plotted to kill Bhishma. In spite of the fact that the young sons of Pandu, and it they grew up together, the sons was only by the careful protecof Dhrtarastra, especially the eld- tion of their Uncle Vidura and their est, Duryodhana, hated, envied cousin – Lord Krshna, that the Panand always had resentment for the davas escaped the many attempts Pandaves, and the blind and weak- against their lives. minded Dhrtarastra wanted his The Mahabharata also speaks of

the divine intervention of Lord Krshna - being a supreme Godhead himself, another important part of the Mahabharata is the way Duryodhana with the help of his wicked uncle – Shakuni, deceits the Pandavas in the gambling match of dice, in the course of which Duryodhana and his brothers took possession of Draupadi, the chaste and devoted wife of the Pandavas,

and insultingly tried to unclad her before the entire assembly of princess and kings. Though Draupadi on one hand was saved by Krshna’s divine intervention, on the other hand, the Pandavas were dodged of their kingdoms and forced to go on exile of thirteen years. Upon returning from exile, the Pandavas rightfully claimed for their rights, but Duryodhana deceitfully denied them and refused to do so, which made war inevitable, on his part- Krshna being on the side of the Pandavas also tried his best in evading the war, but the arrogant Duryodhana and his father would not heed to any of his advices - thus making war imminent. The Pandavas, men of the highest moral stature, recognised Krshna to be the supreme personality of Godhead, while the impious Duryodhana did not. In this way Krshna became the charioteer of Arjuna, taking it upon himself to drive the fabled bowman’s chariot. he Mahabharata is not only an epic of cosmic significance, it is also a torch of knowledge , which brings us back to those times when all the powerful and wise men, existed, showing us how they also had to undergo the dilemmas of Ego and Treachery, as a result of it. The Pandavas, being as virtous as they are, being forced to fight

a battle - and Arjuna, though a mighty warrior, is overcome by grief and pity seeing his intimate relatives, teachers and friends in both armies - ready to fight and sacrifice their lives. This epic also invokes us with Transcendental Knowledge - which is the spiritual knowledge of the soul, of God, and of their relationship - on how time and again Arjuna extols and consoles his Master Krshna for guidance every time he falls weak of physical strength and his mind starts getting bewildered. ow he surrenders himself to Lord Krshna, taking him as the Supreme Truth, the Supreme cause and sustaining force of everything, both material and spiritual. The Mahabharata being the largest epic in world literature has tackled a wide gamut of realities, not only of the real world, but spiritual world as well, it also makes us realise the human nature, and how man behaves when he is put in a dilemma of principles and priorities. The story of this great epic has a breadth of vision- which is one reason that makes this epic the best story I have ever read, it has a compelling plot and an engrossing dramatic structure. It´s characters are complex and real, with a great depth of personality and is therefore no doubt full of wisdom and unknowable greatness.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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fter one hundred years the steamship, Correíllo La Palma, has retired. A ceremony was held on the north pier of the port in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, with a hundred candles being blown out to symbolise the years the boat was of vital importance to the archipelago’s connection to the outside world. The gathering was attended by many islanders and local dignitaries. Although it has been more than 36 years since her last voyage to Canary Island waters, the memory of Correíllo La Palma remains latent in the collective imagination and the heart of the Canaries. The more than six decades of uninterrupted service as a bridge and link between the islands made this steamship, built in British shipyards of W. Harkerss & Son Limited, a key element in the way of life and communication in the region over the past century. Juan Pedro Morales, the president of the Foundation Correíllo La Palma, said that the mail brought by the ship turned the port into a commercial hub of activity. “On board this ship came the joys and sorrows of mail. It

Old Steamer Blows a Final Whistle Retirement of a vital sea link

was where the islanders could keep in touch with family overseas or their sons leaving to perform military service. Life for all, in one way or another, was linked to this ship,” he said. However, as in many other aspects of

human activity, this important service was almost forgotten when, somewhat worn by years and cornered by the strength of other modern means of transport, a serious breakdown in her boilers in 1976 marked the beginning of the end for the

Unemployment Continues To Rise in Canary Islands Unemployment continues to rise in the Canary Islands. The number of unemployed people in the islands registered with public employment offices increased by 4,801 people during March 2012, an increase of 1.72% over February 2012 and the total figure of registered unemployed now stands at 283,699, according to data released recently by the Ministry of Employment and Social Security.

The Canary Islands have accumulated an increase in unemployment in the last 12 months of 22,497 people (+8.61%). Nationally, unemployment in March entered its eighth consecutive month of increases, with a rise of 0.82%, which raised the total number of unemployed people in Spain to 4,750,867. By Canarian provinces, unemploy-

ment increased in February both in Las Palmas, where it rose by 2,580 people, (+1.74%), as in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, where an extra 2,221 people (+1,70%) registered as unemployed. Las Palmas currently has 150,662 registered unemployed, 10,370 more than last year (+ 7.39%) and Santa Cruz de Tenerife accumulates 133,077 unemployed, 12,127 more than in March 2011 (+10.03%).

Correíllo La Palma. Just months after the breakdown the ship went to auction in Madrid, a step that, in most cases, ends in a junkyard. After months of neglect, however, came a ray of hope for the Correíllo La Palma. Businessman, Jürgen Flick, paid 3,100,000 pesetas to acquire the rights of the ship, with the aim of transforming it into a floating epicentre for restaurants, shopping and entertainment, at the marina in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Unfortunately, due to red tape and bureaucracy, the scheme never made headway, and the businessman even offered to donate the ship to the navy for target practice. Since 2006 an investment fund was established to raise funds to convert the ship into a museum. 4.5 million euros have so far been collected, and the refit is approximately halfway through. The final mooring position is yet to be decided. Mr Flick lamented, “The Titanic is also a hundred years old since its launch and everyone remembers her despite being sunk. Our steamboat is alive and afloat, and we hope to last another hundred years.”

Man’s Body Found in La Laguna

Police have recovered the body of a man from a plot of land in the La Laguna area. The authorities were called after local residents complained of a foul smell coming from an outbuilding. The (as yet unidentified) man was known as a loner, although he was a common

sight on the streets; collecting rubbish from bins and pavements. Following days without seeing him, the local residents called the police. An autopsy is to be carried out to determine the cause of death. His body was removed to the Institute of Legal Medicine, Santa Cruz.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 useful information

This guide is of necessity, both brief and general and is therefore no substitute for proper professional advice, which we will be happy to provide on request. Introduction Over 500,000 British people have an interest in a holiday home in Spain. More than 4,000,000 take holidays in Spain each year. Some stay to start businesses, to retire - or just to enjoy the sunshine. When they die, most will leave assets in Spain that will need to be transferred to their heirs. The basic approach to dealing with an inheritance involving assets in Spain is the same in all cases: 1. Establish what assets exist in Spain 2. Establish which law should apply to the inheritance 3. Establish whether there was a valid Spanish will 4. Establish whether there is a valid English or other will covering the assets in Spain 5. If there is no valid will, work out who is entitled to the assets 6. Complete the documentation needed to transfer title of the assets in Spain to the persons entitled 7. Pay the necessary taxes 8. Register the title of the new owners The detailed procedures to be followed will depend upon whether or not the person who has died made a valid will, either in Spain or anywhere else. Which law should apply? The position is a little complicated. Spanish law recognises that, in the case of an English person, English law is to be applied in order to decide what should happen to their estate on their death. Unfortunately, English law in turn states that in the case of real property (land and buildings) in Spain then it is the local law - i.e. Spanish law - which is to determine what should happen to it on death. Of course, for most English people there only substantial asset in Spain is their home. Spanish law should therefore, on the face of it, determine what happens to that home. Spanish law provides for only limited freedom of testamentary disposition. A person making a will can say what he likes in it, but certain groups of people - mainly the husband/wife and children - have priority rights which, if not reflected in the will, can allow them to challenge it. In a typical case of a man with a wife and children the man will only have total freedom to dispose of one third of his estate. One third must pass to his children equally. The second third is subject to an automatic life interest in favour of his wife and can also only be distributed, after her death, amongst his children - but in such proportions as he thinks fit. The final third is his to deal with as he wishes. However Spanish law also stated that an inheritance should be dealt with as a whole. This rule conflicts with the rules just referred to. In practice, the Spanish accept that English law should apply to both land and other assets located in Spain and that English people can dispose of their assets located in Spain as freely as they could in England. Did the person who died make a Spanish will? Even if you think you know that there is no Spanish will we are required to make a check with the Spanish central wills registry to ensure that this is the case. If there is a Spanish will Provided it is valid and has not been revoked it is likely that the contents of that will will determine what is to happen to any assets in Spain. If there is no Spanish will Is there a valid English or other will covering the assets in Spain? If so that will will be ac-

Dealing with an inheritance in Spain By Michael Rhodes

cepted as valid in Spain. If there is a valid non-Spanish will Subject once again to the possible superior rights of the wife and children, then the assets are likely to be distributed in accordance with the provisions of that will. If the will is to be used in Spain then various steps will need to be taken: 1. It will need to be translated - by an official translator - into Spanish 2. We will need to obtain official copies of the Grant of Probate of the will and of the death certificate. In certain cases, official copies of birth and marriage certificates may be needed. These all need to be translated into Spanish. 3. All of the documents for use in Spain need to be certified by the Foreign & Commonwealth Office for use in Spain. 4. We may need to prepare a certificate of law to confirm to the Spanish authorities that the dispositions in the will are lawful. 5. We will need to prepare powers of attorney authorising one of our Spanish associates to pay the appropriate taxes and to sign all of the inheritance documentation in Spain on behalf of the beneficiaries. 6. The money needed to pay the taxes has to be collected and sent to Spain. Once this has been done our associate will pay the taxes and sign the paperwork, thereafter registering any land of buildings in the name of the new owners. If there is neither a Spanish nor any other will 1. We will need to explain to the Spanish authorities who is - under the combined rules of Spanish & English law - entitled to the inheritance. This will need to be supported by the appropriate documentation, duly translated into Spanish & authenticated. We may also need to produce a certificate of law for presentation in Spain. 2. We then arrange for the payment of the taxes, the signing of the inheritance documentation and the registration of title as described above. Paying the taxes Taxes due on an estate are calculated very differently in Spain from the way they are calculated in England. The amount to be paid is calculated by reference to each beneficiary rather than on the basis of the estate as a whole. Each may have his or her own tax free allowance and will pay tax at a rate which will vary according to their relationship to the de-

ceased. A return has to be made to the Spanish tax office and the necessary taxes paid. This should be done within six months of the date of the death as otherwise a surcharge and interest may become payable. Preparing the documentation to accept the inheritance This is done in by a Spanish notary after consultation with us or our associate in Spain who will ultimately sign the documents. Registering the beneficiaries title Where part of the inheritance is a house or

apartment the title will need to be registered the title of the new owner will need to be registered at the Land Registry. Other matters It is in the nature of dealing with inheritances that the unexpected often occurs. Perhaps the deceasedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s title to his home was defective and needs rectification before it can be conveyed to the heirs. Perhaps he has not paid all the taxes expected of him. Sometimes the family cannot agree to what should happen to the assets C or unexpected claimants or assets may turn up. These problems need to be dealt with as they occur. The new owners should consider themselves making Spanish wills. If they have inherited from someone who did not do so they seldom need much persuasion as to the wisdom of doing so. The heirs may want advice as to investing the money inherited or about selling other assets for which they may have no personal use. We are happy to assist with all such matters. What does this all cost? Such are the possible variations in the work required that it is impossible at the outset to give an estimate of the costs likely to be involved in dealing with an estate. A typical simple estate may cost in the order of ÂŁ1,000 to ÂŁ1,500, plus VAT, Spanish Inheritance Tax and the various sums which we have to pay out on your behalf, including the fees of our associates in Spain. As the matter unfolds we will be able to give you increasingly accurate estimates of the sums involved. You can contact Michael Rhodes on; Tel: (+34) 922 796 744 Web: www.tenerifelawyer.com Email: info@tenerifelawyer.com

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Easter Open Air Celebration In Costa Silencio

This year Pastor Bill Jeffrey imagined a cave under the stairwell down to the lower square in Coral Mar Costa Silencio. This was to be the place where Jesus was laid on Good Friday after the crucifixion. The team of church craft workers managed to get a semblance of a cave with a huge stone almost 2 metres in diameter, in disguised cardboard. A cross filled with English spring flowers was at the side of the tomb, bringing a nostalgic note for ex Pats seeing the British native flowers, out of context in a hot climate and perhaps giving them glimpses of homeland springs in the past. The singing by the music group was modern and uplifting including gospel singing with ‘Oh Happy Day’ sung in four part harmony lifting joyous music out into the Silencio air. Instead of a sermon, Pastor Bill had about 20 people come forward giving a one sentence affirmation of what Jesus meant to them in their lives today. The Pastor’s address was particularly poignant this year, as Bill’s father had died on the first Saturday Easter of week and every word was made extra special because it was said right from the heart. Young children were hunting high and low

in the church to find the hidden eggs left by the church ‘egg laying team’ and a time of fellowship was shared over the inevitable cuppa in the church. A fitting end to a joyous morning.

EASTER HAMPER Raffle at Iceland Las Chafiras

A huge thank you to Iceland for allowing K9 to hold this raffle on their premises. Many thanks to all who bought raffle tickets, enabling us to raise 1,550 Euros for the cats & dogs in the kennels at San Miguel. Also grateful thanks to those who collected on our behalf. Lin & Mikey, K9

1st Prize. HAMPER

Orange ticket 730

Shirley

2nd Prize. STONE GRILL

Blue ticket 657

Simona

3 Prize. Ltr GORDON’S GIN

Blue ticket 737

Bill

4th Prize. EASTER EGG

Green ticket 341

John & Julia

ND BRA ! NEW

Best Beach Destinations for Londoners

Tenerife has topped the list of the best beach destinations for Londoners. The findings revealed by travel retailer Holiday Hypermarket are based on the number of bookings and departures from London airports at the start of 2012. Following closely behind Tenerife is the city of Palma, on the island of Mallorca which has seen a rise in the number of Britons holidaying there over the past three years. In third place is the popular Mexican resort of Cancún. Calum MacDonald, Marketing Manager at Holiday Hypermarket claims that part of the appeal of Tenerife and Mallorca is that they have adapted to Londoners tastes, offering boutique hotels, adventure sports and cheap two star hotels. Mr MacDonald continued by saying, “Many of these destinations are as pleasant in winter as they are in summer, when the weather can get incredibly hot. Cooler temperatures mean visitors can enjoy outdoor activities like walking, hiking and cycling, and because the seas remain warm, tourists can swim, snorkel, scuba dive and generally enjoy the sunshine all-year-round.”

Turismo Introduces Wrath of the Titans Touristic Route

Turismo has started to develop a series of touristic routes through the scenes of major productions that have been filmed in Tenerife: it is starting, of course, with the Wrath of the Titans. They have launched a website intended to encourage tourists to see the island through the eyes of Perseus, and discovering the unique experiences Tenerife has to offer; with desert landscapes, subtropical for-

ests, lava fields, beaches, and spectacular cliffs all coexisting side by side. Turismo hopes that this very diversity will attract many more film makers to the island, offering them an environment that could be the backdrop for scenes set anywhere from old Havana to the tropics, and anything in between. According to the Tenerife Film Commission, 2011 saw 558 days of filming here in various formats, whether

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full scale movies like Wrath of the Titans, television programmes, or holiday adverts. Since 2000, the Commission has supported the filming of 814 productions, recordings and photographic sessions, mainly from Spanish, German and British producers. Turismo hopes that this record will continue and that it will be able to offer many more such touristic routes as that of the Wrath of the Titans.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Remittances to Spain By Overseas Workers At a Record High

Air Taxes Increase in Tenerife

The central government has raised tax rates to be paid by air carriers operating to Tenerife from between 18.7 and 26.1 per cent. For the provision of certain services Aena is exempt from the draft State Budget for 2012. The financial vicepresident and chief executive of the Cabildo Insular de Turismo, Carlos Alonso, stated that in less than six months, “the PP government has removed subsidies, eliminated the advantages of flying to Tenerife and increased overhead rates. The State Budget includes increases in both the landing fee charged to airlines (2.5% and 2.4% Tenerife North) and passengers, who experienced an increase of 5 per cent at both north and south airports, but mostly the security tax hikes, reaching an increase of 66 per cent. For example, for a standard A320 flight from Europe to land in Tenerife, with 80 per cent occupancy, the airline should pay, in respect of airport charges, around 2,000 euros on average for the flight; which is equivalent to about 13.7 euros per passenger: an increase of 26.1 per cent over the previous year. The increased air fares and the disappearance of subsidies since 2009 in the Canary Islands were applied to boost the competitiveness of the tourism industry.

The amount of money sent by emigrants into Spain from overseas reached a record high last year. Some 5.701 billion euros were transferred into the country from abroad in 2011 - an almost six-per cent rise on the previous year. Apart from a small decline in 2009, the figure has not stopped growing, despite the global economic downturn, says the Bank of Spain. The number of Spaniards living abroad has increased by 23 per cent since the start of the crisis - from 1.4

For Carlos Alonso, this is particularly relevant if one considers that an airport like Girona has a passenger volume similar to Tenerife North,.” They have a better competitive advantage that they can reduce passenger fares by 39.6 per cent on flights to Europe and 28.4 per cent on international flights.”

million in 2009 to 1.8 million in January 2012, the most recent figure available from the National Statistics Institute. Spain’s immigrant population, whose fortune was so closely linked to the construction boom, was hit first and most severely by the crisis. However, the money sent out of Spain by immigrants increased slightly in 2011 after three straight years of decline. Even so, total remittances last year fell over a billion euros short of the high of 8.448 billion reached in 2007.

British Man Arrested At TFS For Drug Smuggling

A 48-year-old British man has been arrested at TFS Reina Sofía for trying to smuggle drugs into Tenerife, the Guardia Civil has said.

Analysis of the white powder found in packs inside his luggage have shown it to be 2 kilos of cocaine. He is currently being processed by the judicial authorities.

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The Municipality of El Sauzal An Insightful Guide By Carlos Hernández

Dear readers, welcome back to our journey across Tenerife. This week we visit the small municipality of El Sauzal. El Sauzal (Spanish for Willow tree) is a picturesque settlement, carefully preserved, where beautiful examples of traditional Canarian architecture can be seen. It is one of the municipalities with the smallest surface area, and in spite of that, it has one of the highest population densities. Agriculture is its main activity and occupies most of the work force of this municipality, the grape fields occupy the largest extension followed by potatoes, cereals, fruits, etc. Bananas, vegetables, citric fruits and flowers are also cultivated. History The municipality owes its name to the abundance of willow trees growing among the springs that flow about the place. From the many archaeological discoveries made, it can be concluded that El Sauzal had an important place in pre-Hispanic Tenerife, an example of this is the Cave of the Old ( Cueva de los Viejos), a Guanche dwelling located on a fold of the cliffs. Many archaeological discoveries have been made in this cave. In its interior are two human figures from the 12th century showing different tools used by the guanches. Due to the London plague epidemic of 1572 El Sauzal became the political and administrative centre of the island, establishing a Chapter House in the parochial church of San Pedro.

In the 19th century, after the Courts of 1812, its guildhall was established, even though since 1676, the existence of a royal alderman was proven in El Sauzal. A new settlement was established in the area, where in 1515, the Queen ordered a church built, the one of San Pedro Apostle, whose first parish priest was Sebastian Bello, brother of Alonso, the town founder. Culture Examples of its pre-Hispanic past can be appreciated in places of important findings such as La Garañona, El Risco de los Angeles and Risco del Castillo. A walk through the historic area is an attractive spectacle due to the examples of domestic buildings built in the Canary

Island style. An especially notable cultural event is the Classic Music Season that programmes concerts at the Municipal Auditorium with groups related to the Tenerife Symphonic Orchestra and the Teobaldo Power Camera Orchestra. It is complemented all year long by treaties subscribed by the Insular Chapter, autonomous government and different island organisations for theatre, dance, music, and folklore. The representation of the Lord’s Epiphany or Act of the Three Wise Men is an annual event that takes place in an area of more than 2,000 m2 and with a cast of approximately 400 actors. It is without a doubt, the most important manifestation where all the town participates, since it unites the efforts of each and every one of the municipality’s groups and a multitude of town dwellers. Among the local celebrations, the most notable are those of San Pedro Apostle (the Sunday closest to June 29th) and that of San Nicolás. For the latter, it is a tradition to bless bread and to deal it out, and then the pieces are thrown to the rooftops of the houses, as an augury for abundant rains. Places of Historical Interest Casona de la Baranda del Vino. 17th century (restored) Cave of the Old (Cueva de Los Viejos) – Los Angeles Temple of Our Lady of Los Angeles. 1505. Built by Alonso Fernández de Lugo at the beginning of the XVI century. Baroque altarpiece.

Lavatory Park (Parque de Los Lavaderos) Ancient meeting place of the municipality’s women, who frequented the place in order to wash clothes. Wine

great house built in traditional Canary Islands style is home to Casa del Vino “La Baranda” and offers visitors a close look at the island’s rich winemaking heritage in a privileged setting with marvellous views of the sea and Mt. Teide. Directions Autopista general del Norte (north motorway), Km 21 (El Sauzal exit. La Baranda) C/ San Simón 49. 38360. El Sauzal. Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Canary Islands. Tel: +34 922 57 25 35 and +34 922 57 25 42 Fax: +34 922 57 27 44 e-mail: casa-vino@tenerife.es www.tenerife.es/casa-vino

The House of Honey (Casa de la Miel) is another one of its principal attractions. Sra María de Jesús, Sierva de Dios As an interesting fact, Sister María de

Jesús, a world famous nun, was born in this town.

Her incorrupt body is preserved in the Convent of Santa Catalina of Siena in the city of San Cristóbal de La Laguna convent next to the Plaza del Adelantado in the center of the city. Every 15thFebruary 15 (the anniversary of his death) her body is on public display in a glass-covered coffin (this sarcophagus was given by the pirate Amaro Pargo), to the massive pilgrimage of devotees who want to see her body intact. Currently Sra María de Jesús is in the process of beatification, and is to be declared a saint in the future.

Festivals in El Sauzal

The best wines of the island can be savoured at the House of Wine (La Casa del Vino) Located in the north of Tenerife, this

January 5th

Representation of the Living Bethlehem (Cavalcade of the Wise Men)

Beginning of March

San José

End of April – Beginning of May

Our Lady of Los Angeles

First Week in May

The Holy Cross. El Calvario

June 29th

Patron Festivities of San Pedro Apostle

July 19 – 25th

The Holy Crosses. Ravelo

September 10th

San Nicolás

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 business news

Government May Intervene Facebook Buys Instagram In Regional Administrations Photo Sharing Network

The Government has warned that they will intervene financially if the regions do not comply with the deficit and other requirements. The Secretary of State for Public Administrations, Antonio Beteta, said that ‘yes’ or ‘yes’ all the communities were going to comply with the 2012 deficit. He said he hoped the definitive approval of the Budgetary Stability Law, expected on Thursday, would see ‘an enormous range’ of possibilities being put into action. It comes after the Minister for Hacienda, Luis de Guindos, has said that the Government is considering questioning the level

For $1Billion

Luis de Guindos, Minister for Hacienda of free health provision for those who earn 100,000 euros or more. However the PP spokesman and Vice Secretary, Carlos Floriano, stated, ‘The Government believes in a free health service’. The Minister’s declarations were described as ‘a personal reflection’.

Yahoo Files E-Book Advert System Patent Applications

Yahoo has signalled it is investigating e-book adverts as a way to stimulate its earnings. It says in two US patent applications that ads for digital book readers have been “less than optimal” to date. The filings suggest that users could be offered titles at a variety of prices depending on the ads’ prominence. They add that the products shown could be determined by the type of book being

read, or even the contents of a specific chapter, phrase or word. The paperwork was published by the US Patent and Trademark Office late last week and relates to work carried out at the firm’s headquarters in Sunnyvale, California. “Greater levels of advertising, which may be more valuable to an advertiser and potentially more distracting to an e-book reader, may warrant higher discounts,” it states.

Business Briefs

Unions UGT and CCOO have demanded that Mariano Rajoy finds a ‘grand consensus’ to get out of the recession. The two main unions have written to the Prime Minister demanding changes to the labour reforms and the budgets. It’s the third letter they have written to Rajoy in the last month and a half. The Risk Premium, the difference between the ten year bond price in Spain and Germany, has remained over 400 points today on a quiet day where the main Stock Markets, including the IBEX in Spain are closed. Spanish ten year bonds are now paying 5.783% interest. The cuts in grants for the self-employed could affect more than 5,000 people. The UPTA self-employed organisation calculates that 5,177 people would want to get off the dole in 2012 by starting their own business. Help in starting up worth more than 99.4 million was given in 2010 and 2011, and this year’s budget of 51 million has been denounced by the self-employed. The draft forms for income tax for 2011 are to be made available and can be confirmed from Tuesday (10th April.) However if you are expecting a rebate to be paid directly into your bank, the confirmation cannot be made until after June 27. The income tax campaign officially starts on 3rd May. This year sees more reductions for purchases and works in the home. A study has shown that more than the Spanish banking sector is overstaffed by 41,000 people. That represents 16% of the total workforce, with bank branches reducing staff numbers by 35%. That would mean the closure of ten branches every day until 2014, some 25,000 offices. Currently 30% of the branches generate 70% of the income. The financial reforms and mergers will leave just ten large banks in Spain when complete. The study comes from the IEB, the Institute of Stock Market Studies. The State has paid 1.231 billion euros to the Catholic Church over the past three years. The new cabinet has been releasing some information and has said that no changes in public funding are expected. The budget mentioned 6 billion euros for the Church, and central administration pays for the wages of RE professors in some regions. Lower sales have led Carrefour in Spain to freeze the wages of more than 6,000 workers in their supermarkets. Last year’s wages have been frozen into this year for workers in the ‘Express’ and ’Market’ stores, the old ‘Champion’ brand. Iberia cancelled 127 flights from those programmed for Monday (9th April), at the start of the SEPLA union pilots’ strike, which continues every Monday and Friday until the 20th July. The round of strikes could cost the company 90 million euros. Of the cancelled flights on Monday, 54 were domestic, 64 were European and nine were transatlantic. The airline has also announced that 122 flights will be cancelled on Friday (13th.) SEPLA pilots’ union claim that the Iberia Express is now flying at a cost of the wages of just 11 current Iberia directors.

Facebook has announced it is to buy Instagram - the popular photo-sharing smartphone app. Facebook is paying $1bn (£629m) in cash and stock for the takeover. Instagram was only launched in October 2010 - initially just for the iPhone before being offered as an Android app last week. Facebook’s chief executive Mark Zuckerberg has pledged to continue to develop Instagram as a separate brand, allowing it to post to rival networks. The app is free and allows users to apply 17 filters to the pictures they take - changing the colour balance to give the images a different feel - before they are uploaded. It has proven hugely popular. The firm says that it has more than 30 million users uploading more than 5 million new pictures every day. Paul Kedrosky, a tech investor and author of the Infectious Greed blog, told the BBC: “I understand Instagram has 13 employees so at $77m a head that makes it the most expensive business deal in history that I can think of.” Pictures were at the heart of Facebook’s success; the easy sharing of pictures made it stand out against early rivals. Today, the social network is the world’s largest photosharing website. Combine Instagram’s mobile appeal with some careful Facebook integration (without annoying existing users too much), and Mark Zuckerberg could have made a very nifty move. Facebook will have to tread carefully, though. Mr Zuckerberg wrote on his Facebook page: “We think the fact that Instagram is connected to other services beyond Facebook is an important part of the experience. We plan on keeping features like the ability to post to other social networks, the ability to not share your Instagrams on Facebook if you want, and the ability to have followers and follow people separately from your friends on Facebook.” He added: “This is an important milestone for Facebook because it’s the first time we’ve ever acquired a product and company with so many users. We don’t plan on doing many more of these, if any at all.” Mr Kedrosky said the speed of the deal was unusual. “I’m told it also came together very quickly, like a lightning strike. After launching on Android last week and adding one million users a day, it became obvious

that this wasn’t just a photo sharing app - it was a competitive social network, and the concern may have been that there would be rival bids. Lee Simpson, Jefferies International: “It has something of a smack of the dot com era to it” “That’s the only reason to think Facebook would have done this in the quiet period ahead of its flotation.” Instagram’s FAQ says it had previously raised $7.5m in funding from three venture capital firms and “a small group of angel investors”. The deal marks the second time in four months that Facebook has taken on staff from another social network. In December, it announced it was hiring the co-founders of the location-based check-in service Gowalla. The network closed down shortly afterwards. The moves come ahead of Facebook’s planned flotation later this year. The firm reportedly plans to issue $5bn worth of stock on the New York-based Nasdaq exchange in May or June. The deal could value the firm as being worth as much as $100bn.

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An earthquake with a magnitude of 8.7 has struck under the sea off Indonesia’s northern Aceh province. The quake triggered a tsunami watch alert across the Indian Ocean region. The Pacific Tsunami Warning Centre (PTWC) said it was not yet known whether a tsunami had been generated, but advised authorities to “take appropriate action”. The region is regularly hit by earthquakes. The Indian Ocean tsunami of 2004 killed 170,000 people in Aceh. The US Geological Survey (USGS), which documents quakes worldwide, said the Aceh quake was centred 33km (20 miles) under the sea about 495km from Banda Aceh, the provincial capital. It was initially reported as 8.9 magnitude but was later revised down to 8.7 by the USGS. Strong aftershocks were also reported. The PTWC alert said quakes of such a magnitude “have the potential to generate a widespread destructive tsunami that can affect coastlines across the entire Indian Ocean basin”. But Bruce Presgrave, of the USGS, later said that the nature of this quake made it less likely a tsunami would be generated, as the earth had moved horizontally, rather than vertically, there-

Indonesia Quake Triggers Indian Ocean Tsunami Alert

fore had not displaced large volumes of water. “We can’t rule out the possibility, but horizontal motion is less likely to produce a destructive tsunami,” he said. Sutopo, a spokesman for Indonesia’s disaster mitigation agency, said the quake had been felt “very strongly”. “Electric-

ity is down, there’s traffic jams to access higher ground. Sirens and Koran recitals from mosques are everywhere,” he told Reuters. The earthquake monitoring agency in Indonesia said the tsunami warning would remain in place for a few hours after the

initial shock, but that there had been no reports so far of a low tide, which would indicate the water was receding before building into a tsunami. The tremor was felt as far away as Singapore, Thailand, Sri Lanka and India. “There was a tremor felt by all of us working in the building,” a man called Vincent in Calcutta, India, told the BBC. “All just ran out of the building and people were asked not to use the elevator. There was a minute of chaos where all started ringing up to their family and asking about their well-being.” The Thai office of disaster management said people along the coasts of Phuket, Phang Na and Andaman province should heed warnings and evacuate. Tsunami warning sirens, set up in many vulnerable areas after the 2004 disaster, were heard in Phuket, where correspondents said people were calmly following evacuation routes to safe zones. Indonesia straddles the Pacific Ring of Fire, a zone of major seismic activity. A reporter in the Indonesian capital, Jakarta, says there were reports of the ground shaking for up to five minutes. Contact with people in the immediate area around the quake has not been possible so far, says the correspondent.

Sudan Vows to Retake Oil North Korea Starts to Fields from South Sudan Fuel Rocket Before

The oil-rich and disputed Heglig area has seen fierce fighting over the past two weeks Sudan has vowed to use “all legitimate means” to repulse South Sudan from its largest oil field, a statement on the official Suna news agency website says. South Sudanese troops seized control of Heglig on Tuesday (10th), as heavy fighting raged for a second day. Both sides blame each other for the latest conflicts along the un-demarcated and disputed oil-rich border area. Fierce clashes over the past two weeks have fuelled fears of a return to outright war. Oil-rich Heglig is usually recognised as being part of the north, although South Sudan disputes this. Khartoum says it will use all legitimate means to repulse what it calls South Sudanese aggression. “The government of Sudan announces after this attack that it will react by all means,” the official statement said, warning of “destruction” in the South. The statement also warned the new state’s “aggressive behaviour” will “bring nothing but ruin and disappointment to its people”. South Sudan’s military spokesman Philip Aguer said the south was holding positions in the Heglig oil field. He said its troops advanced to Heglig after they were attacked by Sudanese troops from the ground and the air. South Sudan gained independence from Khartoum last July after a long civil war - but the two countries remain at loggerheads. A correspondent in Khartoum says oil is at the heart of the disagreements between the two countries, and oil installations are increasingly being targeted militarily. In January, South Sudan, which depends

on oil sales for 98% of its revenue, shut down all of its oil fields in a row over the fees Sudan demands to transit the oil. A presidential summit, which was to have been held in South Sudan’s capital, Juba, at the beginning of April, has been postponed indefinitely because of the recent fighting. African Union mediator Thabo Mbeki held talks late last week with South Sudan’s President Salva Kiir and his Sudanese counterpart, Omar al-Bashir, amid international fears of a return to full-blown conflict. Meanwhile, an international weapons monitoring group, Small Arms Survey, says it has gathered enough evidence to show that both South Sudan and Sudan are providing arms to rebels and militia groups in each other’s territory. Both sides have often made and denied such claims of support.

Planned Launch

North Korea says it has begun fuelling its rocket, ahead of a planned - widely criticised launch. Paek Chang-ho, head of the satellite control centre of the Korean Committee of Space Technology, said fuel was being injected “as we speak”. Critics fear that the launch, expected between 12-16 April, is a test of long-range missile technology. It comes as the Worker’s Party promoted new leader Kim Jong-un to “first secretary” at a rare meeting. The party also named his late father, Kim Jong-il, as its “general secretary for eternity”, state media said. Kim Jong-il died in December 2011. Pyongyang says that the rocket will launch a satellite in its quest to peacefully advance its space programme. “We are injecting fuel as we speak. It has started,” Mr Paek told visiting foreign journalists outside the capital, Pyongyang. “And as for the exact timing of the launch, it will be

decided by my superiors.” The journalists were taken on Sunday to the Sohae satellite station at Tongchang-ri, on the country’s north-west coast, to see the final preparations. The launch will also mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of the country’s late leader Kim Il-sung. The North has festivities planned in the lead up to Kim Il-sung’s commemoration on Sunday. Aside from the on-going meeting of the ruling Korean Worker’s Party, an annual session of the parliament

to pass new legislation is also scheduled for Friday. Both meetings are expected to further consolidate the transition of power to Kim Jong-un. Neighbouring countries that may be in the rocket’s path have made preparations. South Korea and Japan have said they will shoot down the rocket if it threatens their territory, and the Philippines have rerouted air and sea traffic. South Korea has also warned the North it risks further isolation if it goes ahead. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on Tuesday (10th) that if the North wanted a “peaceful, better future” for its people it should not launch the rocket, calling the move a direct threat to regional security. Pyongyang agreed in February to a partial freeze in nuclear activities and a missile test moratorium in return for US food aid. But that deal was put on hold last month after the North announced its rocket launch plans.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 world news

Syria ‘Assures’ Annan on UN Ceasefire Plan

Russia’s President-Elect Calls for Political Unity

Russia’s President-elect, Vladimir Putin, has urged the country to put political battles behind it and focus on delivering prosperity. In his last speech to parliament as Prime Minister Mr Putin also said Russia’s population growth was a positive sign. The presidential election left “echoes of heightened emotion, but the logic of mature democracy is that elections finish and... joint work always begins,” he said. Mr Putin’s election as president on 4 March was overshadowed by allegations of electoral fraud. He served as president from 2000-2008 and will be sworn in for a third term - this time for six years - on 7th May. Independent election monitors - both Russian and international - reported widespread irregularities. “We have one Russia; and it’s modern, advanced development must be the goal that unites all the country’s political forces that want to work to build it,” Mr Putin said in his televised speech

on Wednesday. He said Russia’s population was growing again, after years of decline, and was now above 140 million. This year Russia will have 15 cities each with more than a million people, he said. He said more Russian couples were choosing to have a second or even a third child. But he voiced concern about the income gap between rich and poor in Russia. “The gap is not closing, and we need to pay great attention to that.” In Germany and France the richest are five to seven times better off, whereas in Russia the figure is 15 times, like in the US, he said. Despite the “colossal challenge” of the 2007-08 global financial crisis average incomes had risen in Russia, Mr Putin said. He called the global turmoil “far more largescale and far more dangerous than the 1998 crisis”, but said Russians “showed that we are a mature, creative, confident nation with inner vital strength.”

Search Launched As British Marathon Runner Goes Missing In Greek Race

John Lawton disappeared while tackling the challenging Taygetos marathon, near Kalamata in the southern Peloponnese peninsula. The 62-year-old’s wife Lynda, who had accompanied him on the trip, became concerned when he failed to cross the finish line. She alerted race organisers, who discovered that her husband had not passed through a checkpoint earlier on the route. Searches of the 35km course, which includes rough mountain tracks, have failed to find the experienced runner. Mr Lawton, who has competed in dozens of races around the world, was hoping to finish the race in six to seven hours. Mrs Lawton, 61, said her

husband, from Alsager, Cheshire, was ‘raring to go’ before the race started. ‘He’d done himself a training plan, which he stuck to,’ she said. ‘The weather was perfect. It was warm but not absolutely blistering, so a perfect day to be running in the mountains. I just gave him a kiss at the

start and waved him off. He was there in the middle of the pack waving as he went.’ She planned to wait for him at the finishing line. But Mrs Lawton started to panic as the hours ticked by on Saturday. Race organisers told her they had begun a search after he failed to report to the fifth checkpoint. ‘I don’t how much longer he could be out there and possibly still be alive with just a T-shirt on in these cold nights,’ she added. The Foreign Office said it was aware Mr Lawton had been reported missing and was providing consular assistance to his family. A spokeswoman added: ‘We are liaising closely with the Greek authorities and search efforts continue.’

The UN and Arab League envoy to Syria, Kofi Annan, has said he has received assurances from Damascus that it will respect his ceasefire plan. Speaking during a visit to Iran, Mr Annan said there could be “improved conditions on the ground” by Thursday morning (12th), if all sides did so. On Tuesday (10th), the government failed to withdraw its troops and weaponry from population centres as it had agreed. There was also no letup in violence, with at least 100 people reported dead. Activists said at least three people had been killed on Wednesday after fresh shelling in the city of Homs and raids in Deraa province. Mr Annan told reporters in Tehran that he had received “further clarifications” from the government of President Bashar al-Assad on how it intended to suspend hostilities and respect his sixpoint peace plan. “We have been in touch with them and have had positive answers from them and have also approached governments with influence to ensure that all parties respect the ceasefire,” he said. “If everyone respects it, I think by six in the morning on Thursday we shall see improved conditions on the ground.” But he said the government was still seeking assurances that opposition forces would

also stop the fighting “so that we could see cessation of all the violence”. Mr Annan was speaking after talks with Iranian Foreign Minister Ali Akbar Salehi, during which he appealed for Tehran’s support. He said the region “cannot afford another shock” and warned that any miscalculation or mistakes in Syria could have “unimaginable consequences”. Iran has been a key ally of Damascus, but Mr Salehi said that “as long as the peace plan continues its approach, Iran will support it”. China, which has blocked with Russia - two UN Security Council resolutions condemning the crackdown on dissent, also called on the Syrian government to “respond” to Mr Annan’s peace initiative and “fully implement the commitment of the ceasefire and withdrawal of troops”. The US permanent representative to the UN, Susan Rice, who is chairing the Security Council, said on Tuesday: “The Syrian leadership should now seize the opportunity to make a fundamental change of course.” Under Mr Annan’s six-point peace plan, sponsored by the UN and the Arab League, the Syrian military was to have completed its withdrawal from population centres and stopped the use of heavy weaponry by Tuesday, ahead of a full ceasefire which came into place on Thursday.

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IRISH NEWS

Titanic Documents Go Department Of Education Will Tender For Schools Infrastructure Audit Online To Mark Centenary

The Department of Education will tender for experts to conduct an audit of building infrastructure and staffing in schools around the country. cert results achieved by stuThe survey will concentrate dents. on the second-level sector The minister is also makand will begin by looking at ing a commitment on the between four and six as yet issue of Gay and Lesbian unnamed towns. teachers. There is currently A department spokesalready share resources a campaign to amend Secwoman said the idea was to such as teachers. However, tion 37 of the Employment find out how many sports the union warned that comEquality Act to remove dishalls, labs and other facilibining resources was not ties various areas had with always possible. The Irish crimination against gay and a view to making the best National Teachers’ Organi- lesbian teachers. The minister says the use of resources. She said sation expressed surprise programme for governthe Department of Educa- that the department would ment contains a committion had a huge amount of not have this kind of informent that they will remove information but it was not mation at its disposal at all discriminations against gay collated. times. people, which prevent them There will be concerns Minister Quinn received a that this may be a prelude round of applause on enter- from taking up employment to cuts or the amalgamation ing the TUI conference in as teachers. He said it is a of schools. The Minister for Wexford. Speaking to the commitment he intends to Education, Ruairi Quinn, told media beforehand, he an- fulfil. Minister Quinn said he RTÉ’s Morning Ireland that nounced a new scholarship will publish proposals in the the country had too many scheme for higher educa- coming weeks. Separately, speaking in schools for its small population. response to criticism of his tion. However the departSixty students from DEIS policies by Fine Gael Senament spokeswoman said schools, and who hold meditor, Fidelma Healy Eames, this was not about cutting cal cards, will receive a burMr Quinn said she was misinresources, but measuring sary of 2,000 Euros each formed. He said that when from this September. The them. she talked to her colleagues number will rise with over The Association of Secondary Teachers Ireland 350 students a year ben- in the Fine Gael parliamentaand the Teachers’ Union of efiting by 2015. The awards ry party they would be able Ireland have welcomed the will be awarded regionally to apprise her as to how she move. The ASTI says schools on the basis of the leaving was misinformed.

Ex-Tesco Worker Denies Threatening To Kill Colleague

A Tesco shelf-stacker allegedly threatened to behead his colleague and put her head on the store roof after she repeatedly turned down his offers of cash for a scam marriage, an Employment Appeals Tribunal heard last week. But Yasir Azad (28), an accountancy student originally from Pakistan, claims he was unfairly dismissed by the supermarket giant over what he claims are “contrived allegations” against him. The tribunal heard evidence from two Polish co-workers, who claim that Mr Azad, who has lived in Dublin for several years, offered each of them thousands of euro in exchange for a “paper marriage” that would allow him to get an Irish work visa since his student visa was due to expire. Rachael Garton, who at the time was the store manager at the Tesco store in Sandymount, south Dublin, testified that two female employees complained to her of feeling “very frightened and distressed” by the threats of violence allegedly made by Mr Azad. He had worked alongside the women on the night shift at the store. She alleged he made the threats after both workers turned down his offers of marriage in exchange for between 8,000 Euros and 10,000 Euros “because his visa was running out”. Tesco worker Kasia Nowacka, who was Mr Azad’s line manager on the night shift, told the tribunal that Mr Azad asked her about three or four times if she would marry him for money, including twice on the same night in October 2009. He first offered about

8,000 Euros and then increased the offers to between 10,000 Euros and 15,000 Euros, she said. After she refused the offers, he “started to be really rude” and refused to do tasks that she asked him to complete, she said. Asked if she would work with him again, she said: “No. He’s scaring me. He scared me before.” However, during cross examination by Mr Azad’s counsel Oisin Scollard, she said she only made a formal complaint to management against him after she read derogatory comments about her posted on what she believed was his Facebook page. “I was really angry after I saw what he wrote,” she said. Her colleague Liga Mikalauska testified that Mr Azad told her he would like to “cut off Kasia’s head and put it on the roof”. On another occasion after a jar of beetroot broke on the floor, Mr Azad made a reference to the bloodlike appearance of the juice and said he’d “like to spill Kasia’s blood,” in the same way, she said. She also claimed that Mr Azad asked her to marry him in exchange for between 3,000 Euros and 5,000 Euros but she refused. She

Thousands of documents detailing victims and survivors of the Titanic disaster have gone online to mark the 100th anniversary of the ship’s sinking. More than 200,000 records have been gathered by family history website Ancestry.co.uk and the collection is free to view until 31st May. It includes lists of the dead and information about survivors as well as the wills of the Titanic’s captain, Edward Smith, and American tycoons Benjamin Guggenheim and John Jacob Astor. All three were among the 1,500 passengers who died. Other records now online include images of grave headstones of 121 Titanic passengers, more than 329 coroner inquest files, and records of 330 bodies that were recovered at sea. The new website also has a passenger list from the vessel Carpathia, whose crew bravely battled through the ice-strewn Atlantic to rescue more than 700 survivors. Ancestry.co.uk content manager Miriam Silverman said: “Over the generations, many families may have heard rumours that they had an ancestor aboard the Titanic, or even

lost the evidence proving it. “We’re very pleased to be able to offer access to these valuable records for free, enabling thousands to uncover the story of their ancestor’s tragic voyage.” Meanwhile a memorial cruise to the site of the wreck is taking place with descendants of some of those who died on board. The same number of 1,309 passengers - not including crew - are aboard the MS Balmoral as on the ill-fated ship; with around 50 having a direct family connection to the sinking. A service took place at the time it sank. People from 28 different countries had booked to travel and retrace the liner’s original route. Many turned up in Southampton for the start of the voyage in period costume dressed as first class passengers, crew or steerage passengers.

Orange Order’s Go-Ahead to Commemorate Ulster Covenant At Stormont

Stormont is to stage a major commemoration of the 100th anniversary of the Ulster Covenant involving the Orange Order. Hundreds of Orangemen will participate in a major parade through the Stormont Estate — marching past the famous statue of Sir Edward Carson. Assembly sources said that it is believed to be the first time Stormont has hosted a formal Orange event in living memory. Finance Minister Sammy Wilson has given the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland the go-ahead for the commemorative event. Mr Wilson’s Department

of Finance and Personnel (DFP) said that permission had been granted “subject to detailed arrangements and relevant paperwork in relation to the event being agreed with the department’s estate management unit and other relevant authorities”. A platform for speeches is to be erected close to the roundabout containing Sir Edward’s monument, directly in front of Parliament Buildings. Suspended Ulster Unionist David McNarry appealed to people opposed to the event not to attempt to spark trouble or disrupt proceedings. The Strangford MLA, a

could not tell the tribunal, however, why she didn’t go to the Gardaí with her complaints. Ms Garton, meanwhile, testified that she called Mr Azad to a meeting on 10th April, 2010, after another employee, whom she admitted was her brother, showed her a link to a Facebook page believed to be Mr Azad’s, which he had allegedly sent him. The page included a photo of her with a caption that read: “She is stupid, twice as ugly, but she’s a manager.” Ms Garton said she had no idea how the photo got on to the Facebook page but she believes it was taken at a staff Christmas party. “He (Mr Azad) was asked if he had set it

former assistant grand master in the Grand Orange Lodge, told BBC NI: “I think we’ve grown up as democrats and as politicians. I think we have reached a stage in our political lives where we have moved on to be able to respect each other’s traditions and commemorations.” The Covenant was the symbolic centre-piece of the unionist campaign against British Government proposals to introduce Home Rule in Ireland. It was signed by a total of 237,368 men who queued at Belfast City Hall, while 234,046 women signed a parallel declaration stating their opposition.

up and he denied it,” she said. She said that Mr Azad was then summoned to a disciplinary hearing over the allegations on 13th April 2010, in which he was suspended on full pay pending an investigation. Asked under cross-examination why she didn’t refer the alleged death threats and fraudulent marriage proposals to Gardaí, Ms Garton responded that it is company policy to deal with such issues internally. “An alleged death threat? Is that an internal matter?” Mr Scollard asked. The hearing has been adjourned until 7th June.

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Houses and land in an unfinished housing estate will go under the hammer for the first time in an Allsop Space auction next month. The three houses, which are substantially complete but need kitchens and bathrooms, and a four-acre site at Woodlands Park, Ballyjamesduff, Co Cavan, are being sold as one lot by receivers Kavanagh Fennell with a reserve of 40,000 Euros. The lot is one of 106 properties up for sale at the auction in the Shelbourne Hotel, Dublin, on 3rd May. The auction is no longer considered a “distressed sale”, the company said, as some 50 of the properties are being sold on behalf of private individuals rather than receivers. Five pubs and hotels, some with prominent city centre locations, are also among the lots for sale. These include Darby O’Gills Hotel, a 43-bedroom property about 4km outside Killarney, Co Kerry, with a reserve price of up to 515,000 Euros. Weirs pub

Unfinished Housing Estate Goes To Auction with Reserve of 40,000 Euros

on Lower Georges Street, Dún Laoghaire, is for sale with a reserve of up to 450,000 Euros; the Bank pub on O’Connell Street in Limerick has a reserve no greater than 395,000 Euros; and the Coolgreaney Inn near Gorey, Co Wexford, has a reserve of up to 220,000 Euros. In Waterford the well-known Shortts Bar and Crystal Nightclub is being offered with a tenant paying rent of 60,000 Euros a year, rising to 90,000 Euros over five years. The reserve price will not exceed 495,000 Euros. The lowest reserve on a residential lot is on a two-bedroom semidetached bungalow in Ballinagh, Crenard,

Michael Dwyer´s Family “Will Not Rest”

The mother of the Tipperary man, Michael Dwyer, who was shot dead by Bolivian police three years ago, has vowed their family will not rest until an independent investigation into his killing is conducted. Caroline Dwyer was speaking in Brussels, ahead of meeting Irish MEPs at the European Parliament. Phil Prendergast, MEP for Ireland South, said an investigation would be difficult to secure from the Bolivian authorities, but the facts demanded that one take place. It was expected that Mr Dwyer’s parents and sister would meet Irish MEPs at the European Parliament last week, and possibly officials from the office of EU High Representative on Foreign Policy Catherine Ashton. Mr Dwyer was shot dead in a room of the Bolivian Hotel Las Américas in Santa Cruz on 16 April 2009. He was 24. The circumstances surrounding his killing are highly controversial. Bolivian authorities contend Mr Dwyer was part of a plot to assassinate their President Evo Morales, but the Dwyer family says Mi-

chael was not engaged in any criminal activity. They say he was executed by Bolivian police in a shoot-out and say a comprehensive investigation into what happened was never conducted; and a comprehensive disclosure of police records never happened.

290,000 Euro Funding To Tackle Coastal Erosion Damage Sligo County Council is seeking maximum funding to deal with coastal erosion problems at Strandhill, which saw the partial collapse of a coastal path and about 500m of sand dunes by storms last year. A report on the damage, carried out by consultants RPS on behalf of the council, recommends remedial works which would cost 290,000 Euros and this has been forwarded to the Office of Public Works seeking full funding. The council says that this project is its “highest priority in terms of coastal man-

agement and protection”. But it added that it cannot afford to fund it given the council’s “serious financial position”. The work would include altering and protecting the end of the existing coastal path and revetment, which

would also allow access to the beach and afford some protection to the dunes. Locals have expressed serious concern that the erosion threatens its tourism infrastructure, including Strandhill Golf Club.

Co Cavan, about 10km from Cavan town, which has a reserve up to 15,000 Euros. The highest for a house is the 440,000 Euros reserve that has been put on a fourbedroom home with a separate garage containing a one-bedroom apartment at Tir na nOg, Glenamuck Road, Carrickmines, Dublin. The lot with the lowest reserve, of 5,000 Euros, is a one-acre site at Beechwood Park, Convoy, Co Donegal. The highest reserve is for an industrial facility at the John F Kennedy Industrial Estate. The detached warehouse with two-storey office accommodation is listed at 590,000 Euros.

The auction also includes several apartments in Dublin’s Docklands, as well as houses in parts of Dublin which attracted a premium during the height of the property market such as Blackrock, where a three-bedroom house at St Augustine’s Park, Carysfort, has a reserve of 200,000 Euros, and Deansgrange where a fivebedroom house on Clonkeen Road has a 250,000 reserve Euros. This will be the second of five such auctions to held by Allsop Space this year. The first, held last month, generated 12.4 million Euros when 94 per cent of the properties were sold, with seven withdrawn before the auction. About two-thirds of the properties were sold on the instruction of receivers. The highest price paid on the day was for a block of eight apartments on Dublin’s Ormond Quay, which sold for 1.02 million Euros, well above the reserve price of 610,000 Euros.

Woman’s Body Was Missing For 3½ Years

The family of a woman, whose body went undiscovered for 3½ years, almost stumbled across her while searching for her in the days after her disappearance, an inquest heard yesterday. The body of Bernie Gavan (59), Dunsink Drive, Finglas, Dublin, was found in March last year in undergrowth on a steep incline beside an electricity pylon in Tolka Valley Park. She was discovered by children who had been playing football nearby. No cause of death could be determined, but it is believed Ms Gavan may have had a heart attack. Ms Gavan was reported missing from Daneswood House in Ballymun, where she had been a resident and receiving treatment for bipolar disorder, early on August 20th, 2007. Residents of Daneswood are free to come and go, but must get permission for overnight stays with family. Staff at the facility became worried when Ms Gavan failed to return on August 19th. They raised the alarm shortly after midnight, and both family and Gardaí carried out searches over the following days. Ms Gavan’s brother Frank said the family had searched the Tolka Valley Park having been told of several sightings of her on the day she was reported missing. At one point another family member almost stumbled into the same hole. “We were right beside her,” said Mr Gavan. State pathologist Prof Marie Cassidy attended the scene but said it was not possi-

ble to carry out a full post-mortem because the body was in a skeletal state. Aside from some animal interference, there was no bone damage. However, Prof Cassidy noted the position of the body when it was found and said it suggested that Ms Gavan made no attempt to extricate herself from the situation. She had had a history of heart problems, she said, and may have had a cardiac arrest from the shock of falling down the slope. Ms Gavan’s sister, Ann O’Hanlon, told the court that it was a relief to the family to know that she was not lying there for a long period trying to get out. Coroner Dr Brian Farrell was forced to adjourn the inquest when the family raised issues relating to when they were notified by Daneswood House and Gardaí that Ms Gavan had gone missing. The issues raised needed to be heard before a jury, he said, but it had not been possible to secure a jury for the hearing. The inquest was adjourned to June 15th.

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national news

Spain Cuts 27Billion Euros from Budget

Spain is cutting 27bn euros ($36bn; £22.5bn) from its budget this year as part of one of the toughest austerity drives in its history. Changes will include freezing public sec- forecast,” he said. This could mean furtor workers’ salaries and reducing depart- ther cuts are needed before long. mental budgets by 16.9%.The govern“I suspect that the government could ment says it will raise 12.3bn euros this be forced to implement further austeryear, aided by an increase in tax for large ity measures later this year, with lingering companies. economic downturn set to place additionDeputy Prime Minister Soraya Saenz de al strains on an already perilous budget Santamaría said the nation was in an “ex- deficit reduction plan,” said Raj Badiani, an treme situation”. “Our top priority is to economist at IHS Global Insight. “You have clean up public accounts,” she said. “This the Greek model, or the Irish model. You is a moment that demands serious ef- can either go kicking or screaming, or you forts to reduce spending but also struc- can bite the bullet, like people have done tural reforms to cause the economy to in Ireland.” grow and create jobs.” But economists The main risk is that the government’s are questioning whether the cuts will be tax revenue projections for 2012 look too enough to satisfy Spain’s European part- optimistic,” he said. There are concerns, ners. however, that even the latest spending Last month Prime Minister Mariano Ra- cuts could further damage the chances joy agreed with the European Commis- of getting the Spanish economy growing sion to reduce Spain’s deficit from 8.5% again. It is in recession and is expected to to 5.3% of GDP in 2012. shrink by 1.7% this year. Soraya Saenz de Javier Diaz Gimenez, professor of eco- Santamaria said this would not happen. nomics at IESE Business School in Madrid, “Our obligation towards Spanish people said: “This [budget] seems to be non-cred- and the rest of the EU citizens is to get ible. “They will not be making the 5.3% public accounts into shape,” she said. target agreed with Brussels, because the “Not at any cost, but with measures that cuts are insufficient given the growth support those citizens who need it the

King’s Grandson in Hospital after Shotgun Accident The grandson of King Felipe Juan Froilán Marichalar y Borbón, continued his recovery in hospital on Tuesday (10th) after accidently shooting himself in the foot with a firearm the day before, while engaging in target practice with his father. The accident was described on Tuesday by sources from the Civil Guard as a “thunderous infringement of the law,” given that at 13, the child is a year too young under Spanish law to possess or operate a firearm. That means that his father could be open to a fine for the infraction. Froilán – who is the son of Princess Elena and Jaime de Marichalar, who separated three-and-a-half years ago – was in the garden of the family’s estate in Garrejo en Garray, Soria, when the accident happened. The weapon, a small calibre shotgun, was discharged at point-blank range while pointed at the young man’s foot. Given the proximity of the weapon, the shot contained in the cartridge did not disperse, and travelled clean through Froilán’s foot. According to sources from the Royal Household, he is expected to make a full recovery. Froilán’s mother, Infanta

King Juan Carlos chatting with his grandson Felipe Juan Froilán

Elena, spent the night in hospital with her son, while Queen Sofía made a visit on Tuesday morning. Both members of the royal family stopped to talk to the press on their exit from the Quirón clinic, in Madrid, on Tuesday morning. When asked how the accident happened, the princess replied: “I don’t know; he was with his father.” The Civil Guard has not, as yet, begun any investigation into the accident, given that it is waiting for a Soria court to instruct it to do so. The normal procedure in cases such as this is that a hospital report on the injuries is passed to the duty judge, who will then call on the po-

lice or Civil Guard to begin an investigation, should it be required. If that instruction comes, the Civil Guard will take a statement from Froilán’s father, Jaime de Marichalar. Given that he was the adult in charge of the minor at the time, Marichalar could be facing a fine of 300600 euros for the infraction. For many Spaniards, the accident has echoes of an incident on Easter Thursday in 1956, when the current king, Juan Carlos, accidently shot and killed his younger brother, Alfonso de Borbón, when a pistol that he was handling went off accidently. The future king was 18 at the time, and his younger brother just 14.

Soraya Saenz de Santamaría, with PM Mariano Rajoy most and not paralysing a possible recov- But they can expect higher living costs as Energy Minister Jose Manuel Soria anery or job creation.” Under the 2012 budget the unemployed nounced a 7% rise in electricity bills and will see their benefits maintained and 5% rise in gas bills from 1st April. The pensions will continue to rise. Consumers government is also going ahead with a have also been spared some pain as VAT previously announced increase in income tax by 1.9%. will remain at its current level. The 27bn euros of cuts are equivalent A government minister said Spain needed to tighten up its finances to meet EU to 2.5% of the country’s economic outtargets for reducing deficits without sti- put. Amongst government ministries, the fling economic growth and job creation. big losers are the foreign office, whose Privately some in government accept budget has been halved. Industry, energy these calculations involve a risk. and tourism will get a 32% cut, while the The fear is that Spain could be tipped public works budget will be slashed by into a downward spiral. 34%.

State Broadcaster to Examine Bishop’s Televised Anti-Gay Easter Sermon

Comments about homosexuals and abortion made by a priest during a church service, broadcast live by a television station that is part of the RTVE state broadcasting corporation, are to be examined by the organization’s board of directors. In the sermon, shown on TVE’s La 2 on Good Friday, the Bishop of Alcalá de Henares, Juan Antonio Reig Pla, spoke of people today who “end up lacking guidance about what human sexuality is; already from childhood they think they are attracted to partners of the same sex. “Sometimes to check on this they corrupt and prostitute themselves - or go to men’s clubs. I assure you they will find hell,” he said. Reig Pla also referred to abortion in his homily: “Women who have aborted carry the suffering in their hearts and many of them cannot sleep because the sin always carries the destruction of a person.”

The RTVE board will now debate whether to present a complaint against the Episcopal Conference over the sermon, say sources. “We are not questioning the format, but we do ask that constitutional values be respected and in this case they have been violated,” said the Socialist-chosen board member Miguel Ángel Sacaluga. Protestors staged a “holy kiss” outside the Almudena cathedral in Madrid in response to the bishop’s comments.

Spain to Join NATO Spy Plane Operation

Spain is to participate in the NATO drone spy plane project known as AGS which is planned to become operational in 2015. Speaking on Cadena Ser on Tuesday (10th), the Minister for Defence, Pedro Morenés, said the cost would be 126 million eu-

ros between this year and 2037. Thirteen allies are to form part of the project which includes the acquisition of five Global Hawk pilot-less spy planes. The Global Hawk comes from the US company, Northrop Grumman, which is based in Sigonella, in Ita-

ly, and the UK and France will contribute their own drones. Spain had taken a step back from the project in 2009, when Zaragzona airport was chosen as a base. AGS is being described by NATO as ‘smart defence’ and they say the sharing of capacity will save costs.

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ver thirty foreign victims of equity release scams gathered outside the Hacienda in Málaga on Monday to protest over an alleged fraud that could see many of them losing their homes. The mainly British group, led by Euan Armstrong and Ian Sherdley, who formed the Equity Release Victims Association, filed denuncias with the Agencia Tributaria against a number of mostly Scandinavian foreign banks. They now hope Hacienda will intervene after they highlighted Spain is losing a large amount in taxes due to fraudulent schemes where all the money is invested and lost in Luxembourg. “We already presented all this evidence to the Supreme Court of Spain in Madrid and they chose to ignore it, so this way we are bringing their attention to the loss of tax to the Spanish coffers,” said Armstrong, 74.

national news

Catalonia Village Expat Victims of Says Yes To Drugs Equity Release Scams Protest in Malaga

“It went very well. A good number turned out and each person filed a denuncia with Hacienda. We are exposing the situation to the tax office that these banks are taking money from Spain and lodging it in Luxembourg. Spain stands to lose a lot of money. I would like to think that

Hacienda will now act.” The group, represented by Antonio Flores, from the Marbella based firm Lawbird, demonstrated for over an hour; carrying placards which attacked some of the banks they claim have tricked them. According to the group, foreign banks convinced

Vinnie Jones Heads to Marbella

Hardman Vinnie Jones is heading to Marbella for a role as a twisted garrotte killer. The British actor and exfootballer – who was once given a yellow card after just three seconds on the pitch – will play a lead in gangster movie Shill, to be filmed entirely on the ‘Costa del Crime’. “Jones plays Branch, a guitar-playing nutter who chokes his victims with his strings,” said Shill writer and producer Paul Grimshaw, who based the film on his own experiences. The Shill actors will meet investors at Marbella Film Festival in October this year, with filming set for spring 2013. “We’ll be filming over a six-week period which will be a chance for some real star-spotting in Marbella,” said Grimshaw, who has worked as an estate agent in Marbella for 20 years. The film – also likely to star Tom Hardy – focuses on ‘shill bidding’, online fraud which involves falsely inflating prices of goods

predominately retired foreigners to take out ‘predatory mortgages’ on their homes at a value way above the level of the official appraisal. Victims were lured in by the false hope they could reduce inheritance tax for their loved ones – who would eventually be liable to pay Spain’s top rate of 34 per cent – and enjoy a salary for life by investing in financial havens such as Luxembourg, supposedly without risk. But the scam – which could have as many as 600 victims and is estimated at a staggering 250 million euros – has left many of them penniless.

Residents of the village of Rasquera, Catalonia, have voted on a plan to plant cannabis on a large scale as a way out of the financial crisis. The outcome was close: 308 people voted in favour of the project, and 239 against. With the yes vote in hand, the landscape of the village, identified for decades by olive and almond trees, could change dramatically in the next few months. Rasquera is one of the most indebted municipalities in Catalonia. If the plan goes ahead, the cannabis plantation will serve the 5,000 or so members of the Barcelona Personal Use Cannabis Association (ABCDA), a smoking club with recreational-therapeutic pretensions. According to the initial agreement, Rasquera could expect to receive 1.3 million euros from the ABCDA over two years. Furthermore, the plantation would create 40 direct jobs. The unusual referendum drew media interest from Europe, South Korea and the

Arab world, but it has divided opinion among the villagers as much as the politicians. “Only traffickers make a living out of drugs — the police will seize the plantations and all this will have just been throwing money away,” opined Francisco Garrido. “It frightens me,” said Ana, who has lived in Rasquera for five years. “The land is next to my house. The Mossos d’Esquadra will bring charges against the village. We need to get out of the crisis, but this is not the answer — and I’m Dutch.” “I voted no,” added Liliana Moya. “I arrived from Colombia 10 years ago, I lived alongside drug trafficking, and there are lots of drugs and prostitution there. The only people who get rich are the landowners and the four or five people who run it.” On the other side of the fence, supporters argue that the publicity alone has been good for Rasquera. “The shops are doing really well,” noted Florenci Miró. “I voted yes,” said 80-year-old Paquita Torres.

Spaniard Named World’s Best Female Chef

sold on auction sites such as eBay. Having made ten million pounds in cash, the team embark on a spending spree to Marbella to hide the money from the law. But after Shill makes a deal with crime baron Drake, a bloody and brutal mutiny is unleashed.

Brit Couple with Six Kids Have Their Home Repossessed By ‘Inflexible’ Bank

A British couple with six school-aged children faced Easter weekend on the streets after their home in Barx (Valencia Province) was repossessed. They were due to be evicted on Maundy Thursday, at which point all their kids - the youngest of

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

whom are three-year-old twins and the eldest aged 13 - would lose their school places due to not having a fixed address. The couple say they tried on numerous occasions to come to an agreement with the mortgagees, who refused to give an inch. Each time they called the

bank - the name of which has not been given - they were told their situation was not negotiable and had the phone put down on them. Unable to meet their monthly payments due to lack of work, the family will now find themselves homeless.

Spanish chef, Elena Arzak, has been named the Veuve Clicquot World’s Best Female Chef ahead of the World’s 50 Best Restaurant Awards, sponsored by S.Pellegrino and Acqua Panna, on the 30th April. The Spaniard is the joint head chef at the Arzak Restaurant in San Sebastian, Northern Spain, which she runs with her father and mentor Juan María Arzak. She is the fourth generation of Arzaks to work at the family restaurant and is well known for promoting ingredients local to San Sebastian. As well as training with her father, who himself was awarded the Lifetime

achievement award at the world’s 50 best restaurants in 2011, Elena has worked at some of the biggest kitchens in Europe - El Bulli (Spain), Pierre Gagnaire (Paris), Vivarois (Paris), Louis XV (Monte Carlo), Antica Hosteria di Ponte Cassineta (Lugano), and Le Gavroche in London. After being told about her award, Arzak said: “It really humbles me and has come as such a surprise. I am happy for Arzak, the restaurant, my father and my family… four generations! I remember when my grandmother was cooking and how much of an inspiration she was. With this title, I think of her even more.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

tv guide

tELEVISION & ENTERTAINMENT guide

Piers Morgan’s Life Stories William Roache ITV 1 Friday 13th April 9:00pm Piers Morgan interviews TV legend William Roache, Coronation Street’s Ken Barlow. The world’s longest serving soap actor, who is turning 80, reveals to Piers that his personal life has been just as dramatic as his on-screen storylines. He lifts the lid on his womanising and drinking, the court case that made him bankrupt, the tragic death of his baby daughter at just eighteen months and the shock death of his second wife. He also gives the inside track on some of Corrie’s most famous storylines and why, when over 8000 other actors have come and gone over the last fifty years, he’s still the king of Coronation Street.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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f r i d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Animal 24:7 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am.........................................Cash in the Attic 12:15pm.................................................Bargain Hunt 1:00pm......................................... BBC News at One 1:45pm..............................................................Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm ��Horrible Histories 3:35pm.............................................. Lockie Leonard 4:00pm.........................................All Over the Place 4:30pm �� Blue Peter 5:00pm...................................................... Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Green Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 8:00pm ��EastEnders The Mitchells are left reeling by yesterday’s shock events, and are further stunned when Shirley joins forces with Andrew to help the police. 8:30pm...........................Would I Lie to You? Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair for the sixth series of this comedy panel show. And, as ever, David Mitchell and Lee Mack are the lightning-quick team captains. 9:00pm ��Have I Got News for You Popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Stephen Mangan and guest panellists Grace Dent and Miles Jupp. 9:30pm................................... Not Going Out When Tim joins a band at work and Lucy falls for the lead guitarist, Lee becomes jealous, and decides that if he cannot beat them he should join them. 10:00pm.............................BBC News at Ten 10:35pm........... The Graham Norton Show 11:20pm ��The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11:30pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am......................................................... Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am...................................................Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am...................................................Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:25am ��Charlie and Lola 10:40am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:55am ��Waybuloo 11:15am �� In the Night Garden 11:45am ��The Big Sky 1:45pm �� Racing From Aintree 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Mastermind 8:30pm ��Gardeners’ World 9:00pm �� Brick by Brick: Rebuilding Our Past 10:00pm ��Twenty Twelve 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:00pm �� The Review Show 11:50pm �� Down in the Valley

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Green Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Chas and Cameron start to play a dangerous game. Nicola and Jimmy head for a night away -but something is awry. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street A determined Audrey fights back with fire. Sunita panics when confronted by a suspicious Stella. Ken gets caught in the middle as Peter and Leanne fight over Simon. 8:00pm �� Poms in Paradise Grace and Alex are returning home to the UK, Gary has found his calling rescuing endangered wildlife and Claire has caught the exercise bug Down Under. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Audrey is arrested as the salon wars spiral out of control. Leanne is crushed as Ken is forced to make a decision. Tina offers advice to a frivolous Tommy. 9:00pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers Morgan introduces a new series of his talk show. His first guest is William Roache. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Charlie Wilson’s War Political drama based on real-life events about a Texas congressman whose intervention in Afghanistan, supplying weapons and other equipment to rebel troops fighting against the Soviet Union, has far-reaching and unforeseen consequences.

6:00am ��Sali Mali 6:05am ��The Treacle People 6:15am........................................................The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am ��Freshly Squeezed 7:35am �� According to Jim 8:00am................... Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am �� Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am................................................................Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��The Big Bang Theory 10:30am ��The Big Bang Theory 11:00am............................. Undercover Boss USA 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 12:25pm ��Topaz 3:10pm ��Countdown 4:00pm ��Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks With Scott’s fight with Mitchell drawing near, Barney realises that Scott is still running away. Tilly is thrilled her art event at College Coffee is a success, but when intriguing art fan Jen arrives sparks fly. 7:00pm ��Channel 4 News 7:30pm �� Unreported World Terror in Sudan. As Hollywood actor George Clooney campaigns against the atrocities being committed in Sudan, the first edition of a new series of the critically acclaimed Unreported World has been able to film the most extensive documentary footage so far from the war zone. 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Come Dine with Me In Stoke-on-Trent school teacher and singleton Margaret Fanion battles it out for culinary supremacy with selfconfessed super cook Josef Bailey, business development manager Nick Hall, and the awfully nice Lady Polly Ingestre. 9:00pm ��The Million Pound Drop Live 10:35pm ��Rude Tube 11:35pm ��The Mad Bad Ad Show

BBC Young Musician 2012: Category Finals

BBC2 - 7:30 - 9:00 pm From 404 hopefuls who auditioned across the United Kingdom for BBC Young Musician 2012, 122 were selected to be heard at the category auditions. Now only 25 young performers remain in the category finals, with the keyboard final opening the series. With an opportunity to

impress the panel of adjudicators and reach the final in May, this week sees Dominic Degavino, Victor Lim, Yuanfan Yang, Adam Boeker and Martin Bartlett take to the stage. Presenter Clemency Burton-Hill introduces the five with extensive highlights from their performances, as they bid to become a category winner and gain a

place in the semi-final. Adjudicated by conductor Gareth Jones, Richard McMahon, head of the Keyboard department of the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama and Ronan O’Hora, head of Keyboard studies at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama, who will be selected to perform again and represent their category?

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

13 6:00am ��Children´s TV 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Rory and Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��NCIS 3:15pm ��Trial by Fire 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 8:00pm...................................Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 9:00pm �� The Mentalist 10:00pm �� Castle 10:55pm �� Law and Order: Criminal Intent

6:00am ��Coronation Street 6:25am......................................................Emmerdale 7:15am ��Loose Women 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Coronation Street 12:30pm ��Emmerdale 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Loose Women 5:40pm �� Judge Judy 6:05pm �� Judge Judy 6:30pm �� Planet’s Funniest Animals 6:45pm..........................Britain’s Got Talent 8:00pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 9:00pm ��American Idol 10:00pm �� Notting Hill

7:00pm ��Doctor Who In 1926, Agatha Christie disappeared for ten days. Was it amnesia? A nervous breakdown? Or a giant alien wasp? 7:45pm ��Doctor Who Confidential The Doctor and Donna travel back to the 1920s and enjoy an unexpected encounter with Agatha Christie. 8:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride 9:00pm ��Live at the Apollo Northern funny man Jason Manford is the host, and the comedy sensation of 2009 Michael McIntyre is his special guest. 9:30pm ��Live at the Apollo Rob Brydon, hosts. His special guests are funny lady Sarah Millican and Ireland’s Jason Byrne. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm....................................... Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

6:00am ��Duty Free 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:25am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:25am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:35am ��Terry and June 10:10am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am............................................................Cadfael 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:05pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:05pm..................................................On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat 7:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��The Darling Buds of May Pop is still sitting on a horde of cash -but whose money is it? Marcus Cope is determined to find it and stop Charley buying the hop garden. 9:00pm �� A Touch of Frost 11:05pm ��The Great Gatsby

UNREPORTED WORLD: Terror in Sudan

Channel 4 - 7:30 - 7:55 pm As Hollywood actor George Clooney campaigns against the atrocities being committed in Sudan. The first edition of a new series of the critically acclaimed Unreported World has been able to film the most extensive documentary footage so

far from the war zone. Reporter Aidan Hartley and director Daniel Bogado gained rare access to the Nuba Mountains to film the heroic doctors who are saving children in a largely hidden war being perpetrated on civilians by one of the world’s most brutal dictatorships.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:05am ��Knights of the Round Table 1:20pm ��Relocation: Phil Down Under 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:55pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs Claire Farrow and her husband Ian Hogarth have always dreamed of building a home large enough for their own dance floor and DJ booth. 9:00pm ��Working Girl Mike Nichols’s comedy romance stars Melanie Griffith as Tess McGill, a thirtysomething secretary in a Wall Street firm with big ideas but, unfortunately, bigger hair and a littlegirl voice. 11:15pm ��Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��UEFA Champions League Greatest Finals 6:20am �� Quantum Leap 7:10am ��The Saint 8:10am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:00am �� Police Stop! 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am ��The Saint 12:00pm �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 12:55pm.................................................. Police Stop! 1:55pm ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 3:00pm �� Cricket Presented by Shonali Nagrani with Ian Harvey and Gladstone Small. Kolkota Knight Riders face Rajasthan Royals on day 10 of the Indian Premier League. 7:30pm ��British Superbike Championship Highlights 8:30pm ��Motorway Patrol 9:00pm �� Rocky II 11:25pm �� Rocky III

tv guide

ap r i l

7:00am ��When a Stranger Calls A teenager, babysitting for a family living in a remote lakeside house, is terrorised by mysterious threatening phone calls. 8:47am ��FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 9:00am ��DarkWolf A werewolf stalks the streets of Los Angeles and, in between killing people, is attracted to a seemingly normal waitress. 11:00am �� It Happened in Flatbush The new manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers woos a socialite to take stock in the club. 12:25pm ��Killer Tomatoes Eat France! John Astin reprises his role as the mad scientist who created the fiendish fruit, who after escaping from prison hatches a plan to restore the French monarchy by putting his sidekick Igor on the throne. 2:00pm �� Zorro, The Gay Blade Spoof swashbuckling adventure in which the hero’s role is taken over by his hopeles sly inept son. 4:00pm ��Working Trash Two janitors strike it rich while sifting through the rubbish bins of Wall Street for investment information. 6:00pm ��Robin Hood: Men in Tights Mel Brooks sends up the Sherwood Forest legend in this dim, laugh-an-hour spoof, which came just two years after Kevin Costner had given the legend a more serious reappraisal. 8:00pm ��Date Movie Spoof of romantic comedies from the makers of Scary Movie. Alyson Hannigan stars as a woman who meets the man of her dreams. 9:37pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Epic Movie Pirates of the Caribbean, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Da Vinci Code are among the films being spoofed in Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s comedy. Four adult orphans, each inspired by a character from a recent movie, discover an enchanted land called Gnarnia which has fallen under an evil spell. 11:42pm �� FXM Presents

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satu r d a y 6:00am �� F1: Grand Prix Qualifying Chinese Grand Prix - Qualifying. Jake Humphrey presents live coverage from the Shanghai International Circuit as the drivers contest grid positions for the Chinese Grand Prix. 8:30am ��Breakfast 10:00am........................................Saturday Kitchen 11:30am ��The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 12:00pm �� BBC News 12:10pm ��BBC London News 12:15pm �� Football Focus 1:00pm ��The Grand National Clare Balding presents coverage of the 165th running of the most famous horse race in the world, over a course which includes such renowned landmarks as Becher’s Brook, the Canal Turn and the Chair. 5:10pm �� BBC News 5:20pm ��BBC London News 5:25pm ��WALL-E A robot designed to clean up a wastecovered Earth far in the future falls in love with another robot and follows her into outer space on an adventure that changes the destiny of both his kind and humanity. 7:00pm ��The Voice UK Blind Auditions. Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates host the final round of blind auditions as the search for The Voice continues. 8:20pm ��The National Lottery: In It to Win It 9:10pm ��Casualty A woman takes extreme action after living next door to nightmare neighbours for years. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:20pm �� Match of the Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s Premier League games, with expert analysis from Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer. 11:25pm ��The Football League Show All the action from the Football League presented by Manish Bhasin. With Southampton and Reading having played on the Friday night, the focus in the npower Championship switches to the other promotion contenders on Saturday.

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Extreme Animals 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am �� Pixelface 8:35am ��Prank Patrol Down Under 9:00am ��The Slammer 9:30am ��The Ministry of Curious Stuff 10:00am ��Animals at Work 10:35am ��Splatalot 11:00am ��Copycats 11:25am �� Ooglies 11:40am �� MOTD Kickabout 12:00pm �� Escape to the Country 1:00pm �� F1: Grand Prix Qualifying 2:15pm ��PT 109 4:30pm �� Final Score 5:15pm �� Rugby League Mark Chapman is joined by Brian Noble and Jonathan Davies for live coverage of the Challenge Cup fourth-round clash between Widnes and St Helens at the Stobart Stadium. 7:30pm �� Flog It! Paul Martin presents from Wrexham, principal town of north-east Wales, which was once at the forefront of the industrial revolution. 8:00pm ��Dad’s Army Like every other town, Walmington-on-Sea is to have its War Weapons Week. The event is to be marked by a parade of all Auxiliary Services such as the Wardens, Auxiliary Fire Service, the nurses, the Rescue Squad and of course the Home Guard. 8:30pm �� Titanic: A Commemoration in Music and Film Live from Belfast’s Waterfront Hall, John Humphrys hosts this commemorative event to mark the centenary of the sinking of RMS Titanic. 10:00pm ��QI XL 10:45pm �� The Sarah Millican Television Programme 11:15pm ��TOTP 2

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6:00am ��Signed Stories 6:10am �� Engie Benjy 6:20am ��Pocoyo 6:30am.............................................. Fluffy Gardens 6:45am............................................................The Hive 6:55am ��The Hive 7:05am �� Soli and Mo’s Nature Show 7:10am ��Sooty 7:25am �� X-Men 7:50am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am �� Fort Boyard - Ultimate Challenge 8:25am.................................... Saturday Cookbook 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am.......................The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:20am ��The Real Housewives of New York City 12:15pm....................................Murder, She Wrote 1:15pm ��ITV News and Weather 1:25pm �� Curly Sue 3:20pm......................................................Nim’s Island 5:05pm ��London Tonight 5:15pm ��ITV News and Weather 5:30pm �� FA Cup Semi-Final Highlights 6:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid Keith Lemon brings his unique brand of mischief and anarchy to the masses. He meets real people with real desires and dilemmas, helping them with their niggles and making dreams come true, aided by a celebrity helper. 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� Britain’s Got Talent Will anyone manage to impress the panel and make it one step closer to the prize of £500,000 and a slot at the Royal Variety Performance? 9:15pm............................................. The Cube 10:15pm ��Fast and Furious Fourth film in the wheel-squealing action series. Notorious highway hijacker Dominic Toretto and his former friend and FBI agent Brian O’Conner return to the streets where it all began, careering across Los Angeles and the Mexican desert. 11:05pm................. ITV News and Weather 11:20pm.............................Fast and Furious

6:00am �� The Treacle People 6:10am ��The Hoobs 6:35am ��The Hoobs 7:00am �� Mobil 1 The Grid 7:30am ��British F3 7:55am ��The Morning Line 8:55am ��The TV Book Club 9:30am ��Koko Pop 10:00am ��Made in Chelsea 11:00am ��Charlie’s Angels 11:55am ��The Big Bang Theory 12:25pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:55pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:25pm �� The Simpsons 1:55pm ��Channel 4 Racing Lingfield Park and Newcastle. Twelve months ago, Dubawi Gold raced away with the International Trial Stakes, before finishing runner-up in the 2000 Guineas to the mighty Frankel. 3:35pm ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... Danielle Brown 2012 3:40pm ��The Addams Family Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia star as Morticia and Gomez Addams, head of one of cinema’s more morbidly funny families in Barry Sonnenfeld’s comedy. 5:45pm �� Come Dine with Me Four strangers from in and around Luton showcase their cooking skills. 6:45pm �� Channel 4 News 7:15pm �� 4thought.tv 7:20pm �� Deal or No Deal 8:15pm �� The Sinking of the Concordia: Caught on Camera When the Costa Concordia sank the passengers were able to film what happened on their mobile phones and video cameras. This film is made almost entirely of just that footage, with no interviews, expert testimony or narration. 9:15pm ��The Million Pound Drop Live 10:50pm �� Walk the Line Oscar-nominee Joaquin Phoenix plays Johnny Cash, and Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter in James Mangold’s acclaimed biographical film about country music’s legendary ‘Man in Black’.

The Grand National BBC1 - 1:00 - 5:10 pm The 165th running of the most famous horse race in the world, over a course that includes renowned landmarks Becher’s Brook, the Canal Turn and The Chair. Four and a half miles and 30 fences stand between racing’s bravest horses and jockeys and one of the most cherished prizes in sport.

The McCain name was already a long established part of Aintree folklore before Ballabriggs triumphed last year, and it was a victory which gave trainer Donald McCain his first Grand National success. Donald’s father Ginger trained the legendary Red Rum to three wins and two runner up spots. He also won

the race with Amberleigh House in 2004. On Britain’s biggest race day, coverage from Aintree will be hosted by Clare Balding, who will be joined by Rishi Persad; former Grand National winning jockeys Mick Fitzgerald and Richard Dunwoody; Richard Pitman, John Parrott and Gary Wiltshire.

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14 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:15am ��The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 8:30am ��Angelina Ballerina 8:50am �� Rupert Bear 9:00am ��Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15am ��The Mr. Men Show 9:30am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:40am ��Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:00am................................................Movie Special 10:30am ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 11:30am ��The True Story 12:30pm ��The Perfect Storm 2:55pm ��Titanic 6:15pm ��5 News Weekend 6:20pm ��NCIS 7:10pm ��NCIS 8:00pm �� CSI: Miami 9:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:00pm �� International Boxing 11:30pm �� Comedy Kings

6:00am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 8:00am �� Emmerdale Omnibus 10:50am �� Peter Andre: My Life 11:50am �� Take Me Out 1:20pm �� Take Me Out - The Gossip 2:20pm ��American Idol 4:10pm ��American Idol 5:00pm ��You’ve Been Framed! 5:30pm �� Jurassic Park On a remote island where an amazing theme park with living cloned dinosaurs is located, five people must battle to survive among the prehistoric predators when the security system breaks down and the beasts are released from their enclosures. 8:00pm �� The Zoo 9:00pm �� Planet’s Funniest Animals 9:15pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 10:15pm ��Celebrity Juice 11:00pm �� Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 11:45pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

7:00pm ��Doctor Who The Doctor and Donna enter a world of terror inside an abandoned library. They’re given only one warning: count the shadows. 7:45pm ��Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May attempt to find a trio of cars which are equally at home on the race track as they are transporting a family to the shops, for a budget of 5,000 pounds. 8:45pm................... World Series of Dating The British boys try new tactics to win over our critical ladies - soup play and using words as an anaesthetic all appear, whilst guest star Rob Riggle and comedian Tom Price continue to provide a comedic overview of all the action. 9:15pm �� Shrek The Third Newlyweds Shrek and Fiona face their first marital hurdle when the sudden death of King Harold means Shrek himself is next in line. 10:40pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11:25pm �� Family Guy

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:25am �� Jeeves and Wooster 7:35am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:15am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:50am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:00am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:05am �� The Best of Benny Hill 12:50pm ��Carry on Henry 2:40pm �� Inspector Wexford 4:55pm ��Agatha Christie’s Marple 6:55pm..................................................Poirot The dapper Belgian detective investigates when a Russian servant is murdered, and there is talk of a Communist conspiracy. 8:00pm.........................................Doc Martin There is concern in the village that the local DJ has a drinking problem. Martin has trouble with one of his elderly patients who smells so bad that no one can bear to be in the same room as him. 9:00pm �� Foyle’s War 11:15pm �� Steptoe and Son

Walk The Line Channel 4 - 10:50 pm- 1:20am Oscar-nominee Joaquin Phoenix plays Johnny Cash, and Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter in James Mangold’s acclaimed biographical film about country music’s legendary ‘Man in Black’.

The film follows Cash from his childhood, where he was touched by tragedy, through his years on the road to his marriage to June Carter, who was country royalty (having been a part of the massively influential Carter Family band), and their strug-

gle to find happiness as she weans him off booze and drugs. Walk the Line is a warts-and-all biopic, showing Cash’s faults as well as his undoubted star quality as one of the greatest singer/ songwriters that America has ever produced.

8:55am �� Time Team 10:00am �� Time Team 11:05am �� Time Team 12:10pm ��The Man Behind the Gun 1:50pm �� River Cottage Bites 2:05pm ��My Place in the Sun 2:35pm �� Grand Designs 3:45pm �� Grand Designs 4:50pm ��Location, Location, Location 5:55pm ��Location, Location, Location 7:05pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Sarah Beeny has taken on the biggest property project of her career. She and her husband Graham set out to save their nearderelict but stunning listed Georgian stately home, and to open it up as a luxury events and wedding venue. 8:10pm �� The Restoration Man 9:15pm �� One Born Every Minute 10:20pm �� Brassed Off

6:00am ��Greatest England World Cup Matches 6:10am ��Motorway Patrol 6:40am �� The Sweeney 7:40am �� The Big Match Revisited 8:25am ��UEFA Champions League Weekly 9:00am...............The Sea Shall Not Have Them 11:00am �� All Quiet on the Western Front 2:00pm �� The Sweeney 3:00pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Shonali Nagrani is joined by guests Dominic Cork and James Foster for another slice of live action from the Indian Premier League. 7:30pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:00pm �� River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade heads to Texas on the trail of a river monster said to be as vicious as a shark and as big as an alligator. 9:00pm �� Rocky III 11:05pm ��Rocky IV

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6:00am �� The Master of Disguise An Italian waiter is stunned when his parents are kidnapped - and even more astonished to discover he is the last in a long line of superheroes able to change their appearance at will. 7:42am �� FXM Presents 8:00am ��Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! A put-upon police assistant is lumbered with all the cases no one else wants - including a series of supposed tomato attacks. 9:30am ��George White’s 1935 Scandals Producer White sees a song-and-dance couple in Georgia and brings them to New York. 11:00am ��The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel James Mason gives a sterling performance as German Field Marshal Rommel, who falls out of Hitler’s favour when he suffers defeat in the North African campaign. 12:30pm �� Deliberate Intent Dry, courtroom-bound fact-based drama, chronicling the landmark case in which a publishing house was held responsible for aiding and abetting a murder. 2:00pm �� The Last Hard Men Western adventure charting a recently escaped convict’s efforts to take revenge on the retired lawman who once imprisoned him for robbing a train. 4:00pm ��The Last American Hero Light-hearted drama, starring Jeff Bridges as a down-on-his-luck North Carolina moonshiner who decides stock-car racing might provide him with a little extra cash. 6:00pm �� Honor Thy Father The son of New York mobster Joseph Bonanno inherits the troubled family business. From the Gay Talese book. 8:00pm ��Crossover The lives of a gifted athlete and his best friend change when they take a fateful trip to Los Angeles. 9:49pm ��FXM Presents 10:00pm ��The 6th Day Confused helicopter pilot Arnold Schwarzenegger is shocked to discover he’s been replaced by an illegal clone. Not only that, but mysterious assassins are determined to destroy any incriminating evidence - including him.

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sun d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 7:00am ��F1: Grand Prix China. Jake Humphrey is joined in Shanghai by Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard for live coverage of the Chinese Grand Prix. McLaren will be looking for more success at a circuit where they have enjoyed victory in three of the previous four seasons. 10:15am ��The Big Questions 11:15am �� Escape to the Country 12:00pm ��Sunday Politics 1:05pm...................................................Bargain Hunt 1:50pm.................................................Human Planet 2:50pm ��F1: Grand Prix 4:50pm ��A Question of Sport 5:20pm ��Songs of Praise 6:05pm ��Titanic with Len Goodman In the final programme, Len explores how the press created heroes and looked for villains, and learns how the disaster changed sea travel forever. 6:35pm ��BBC News 6:50pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm........................................ Countryfile Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison head to the South Pennines, where old rivals Yorkshire and Lancashire collide. 8:00pm ��Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team return to Manchester Town Hall where a big crowd awaits with their family treasures. 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Nikki is approached to help identify the paltry remains of a serial killer’s undiscovered victims. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:20pm ��BBC London News 10:25pm ��Have I Got a Bit More News for You 11:10pm................... Witness to Auschwitz Examining the controversy surrounding the Holocaust account of Denis Avey, a 93-year old British former prisoner of war who helped save the life of an Auschwitz inmate. He wrote about this in a best-selling autobiography, published in 2011. 11:40pm �� Lady in the Water

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am..........................................................Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Extreme Animals 7:30am........................ What’s New Scooby-Doo? 7:50am..........................................Match of the Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s Premier League games, with expert analysis from Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer. 9:00am ��The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am �� Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:30am �� Flog It! 12:15pm �� Great British Menu 12:45pm..................The Magnificent Showman 3:00pm �� A Night to Remember Drama based on the events of April 14, 1912. Luxury liner Titanic is five days to sea. Its staterooms crowded with the rich, talented and fashionable of Europe and America, the ship is the pride of Second Officer Herbert Lightoller and Thomas Andrews, its designer. 5:00pm ��Sandhurst Three-part observational documentary series shot at the Royal Military Academy over the course of a year. 6:00pm �� Hairy Bikers’ Bake-ation 7:00pm....................................F1: Grand Prix 8:00pm............................................. Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May star in a compilation of their finest moments from 2011, featuring amazing challenges, spectacular stunts and a small amount of bickering. 9:00pm �� This World This World tells the inside story of the 2011 massacre in Norway, offering new insights into the life and mind of the perpetrator, Anders Breivik, and exposing the hidden hatreds that inspired him. 10:00pm ��Match of the Day 2 Colin Murray is joined by Lee Dixon for highlights of the day’s Premier League action. 10:50pm ��Football Focus Special 11:20pm ��Twenty Twelve 11:50pm �� Lone Star

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6:00am ��Boblins 6:10am ��Fireman Sam 6:20am ��Babar and the Adventures of Badou 6:35am........................................Special Agent Oso 7:05am �� Olly the Little White Van 7:10am........................................................Tati’s Hotel 7:25am ��Matt Hatter Chronicles 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am ��Victorious 8:25am ��Dinner Date 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��Ade in Britain 10:25am........................May the Best House Win 11:25am �� Long Lost Family 12:25pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:35pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 1:50pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 2:35pm ��Columbo 4:30pm................................. You’ve Been Framed! 5:00pm ��London Tonight 5:15pm..............................ITV News and Weather 5:30pm........................................ FA Cup Semi-Final Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage from Wembley of the FA Cup semi-final between Tottenham Hotspur and Chelsea. These great London rivals have appeared in 37 FA Cup semi-finals, but they have never played each other at this stage of the competition. 8:00pm ��The Big Quiz: Benidorm v Essex The fictional world battles the real one as teams from the sitcom Benidorm and reality show The Only Way Is Essex face off in a hilarious quiz show. 9:00pm �� Titanic Conclusion of the epic four-part drama. The crew spot the iceberg looming and take evasive action, but they are too late to prevent a collision. 10:00pm..................... Words of the Titanic Special programme re-telling the story of the liner’s fateful voyage using the diaries, personal accounts and letters of its passengers and crew. 11:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 11:15pm �� Rugby Highlights

6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am ��The Paralympic Show 7:35am ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... Ellie Simmonds 2012 7:40am ��Sailing 8:05am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��Sunday Brunch 12:00pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:30pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:00pm �� The Simpsons 1:30pm �� The Simpsons 2:05pm �� Love Happens 4:10pm ��Saving The Titanic This drama-documentary tells a poignant story of self-sacrifice by the Titanic’s engineers, stokers and firemen in the face of impending death.

6:10pm................................ Channel 4 News 6:40pm �� 4thought.tv 6:45pm �� Marley and Me The Devil Wears Prada director David Frankel’s light comedy-drama - based on a best-selling autobiography - stars Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston as a pair of married journalists who welcome a truly unruly dog into their lives. 9:00pm ��Homeland After attempting to sever ties with Abu Nazir, Brody finds himself re-living his time in captivity and, painfully reminded of a tragic loss, recommits to his mission. 10:00pm �� The Last Exorcism Daniel Stamm’s documentary-style horror presents the spine-chilling footage shot by filmmaker Iris Reisen and her cameraman following the Reverend Cotton Marcus. 11:45pm �� The Hills Have Eyes Alexandre Aja’s remake of Wes Craven’s 1977 cult horror stars Ted Levine as Bob Carter and Kathleen Quinlan as his wife Ethel who, with five other members of the family, are heading for San Diego with their camper vans.

Words of the Titanic ITV1 - 10:00 - 11:00 pm “The pleasure and comfort which all of us enjoyed upon this floating palace, with its extraordinary provisions for such purposes, seemed an ominous feature to many of us, including myself, who felt it almost too good to last without some terrible retribution inflicted by the hand of an angry omnipotence.”

Colonel Archibald Gracie, first class passenger. One hundred years ago on

10th April 1912, the legendary Titanic set sail for New York. With diaries, letters, and memoirs, ‘Words of the Titanic’ tells the stories of the ship’s passengers and crew in their own words. The disaster at sea, which cost almost 1500 lives, has been well documented. But the individual experiences of the people on board offer a revealing insight into the emotions and terror they experienced when it became clear that the ‘unsinkable’ Titanic was doomed to plunge to the

bottom of the ocean. The film features a cast including Richard E. Grant, James Wilby, Claudie Blakely, Roger Allam and Anna Madeley, plus direct descendants of some of the ships passengers who read the diary extracts of their grandparents and greatgrandparents. Dramatic reconstruction and images of the time evoke the spirit of Titanic’s fateful maiden voyage, which is brought poignantly to life in this powerful documentary.

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15 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:30am ��Angelina Ballerina 8:45am �� Rupert Bear 8:55am �� Milkshake Monkey 9:00am ��Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15am ��The Mr. Men Show 9:25am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:40am ��Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:00am �� Making the Magic: Disneyland Paris - 20th Anniversary 10:30am ��Animal Rescue Squad 10:45am �� Grey’s Anatomy 11:40am ��Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 12:40pm ��Inside the Titanic 2:45pm �� Pooh’s Heffalump Movie 4:00pm ��Toy Story 2 5:55pm ��5 News Weekend 6:00pm ��Practical Magic 8:00pm ��Once Upon a Time 9:00pm �� The Patriot

7:00pm �� Great Movie Mistakes Robert Webb is back with more silver screen slip-ups from recent hit movies. Robert exposes shocking gaffes from the Hollywood blockbusters, box office number ones, Oscar-nominated masterpieces and the biggest flops. 7:10pm �� Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 7:40pm �� The Voice UK 9:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Usa Property dealer Bryan is tasked with making all the arrangements for his wedding with Latreasea, but with just three weeks and only his brother as best man to help, will he make all the plans to Latreasea’s satisfaction? 9:50pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Cherry Healey loves a good wedding so she takes the chance to reminisce about some of the most jaw-dropping moments from the fourth series of Don’t Tell the Bride. 10:00pm �� Family Guy 10:20pm �� Family Guy 10:45pm �� Family Guy 11:30pm �� American Dad!

6:00am ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 6:15am ��Nanny 911 7:00am �� Emmerdale Omnibus 9:50am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 12:15pm ��Winners and Losers 1:15pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1:45pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 2:30pm ��The Mummy Returns 5:00pm ��Jurassic Park III Dr Alan Grant reluctantly agrees to accompany a rich couple to the second Jurassic Park island, where their teenage son is believed to have crashed while paragliding.

6:00am.............................................................Film File 6:10am ��Cadfael 7:45am ��Heartbeat 9:55am ��Poirot 11:05am ��Are You Being Served? 1:00pm ��Mutiny on the Buses 2:45pm ��The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery 4:35pm ��Foyle’s War Feature-length drama about an enigmatic detective working on the south coast during World War II. Foyle finds himself accused of a serious offence, which makes his hunt for a ruthless murderer at a sinister hotel even harder.

6:45pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 8:00pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 9:00pm �� Benidorm 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm �� Notting Hill Romantic comedy about the relationship between a famous American movie actress and an unassuming British book shop owner.

6:50pm ��Poirot 9:00pm ��Smokey and the Bandit II Sequel to the car-chase action comedy. Folk hero the Bandit has fallen on bad times, but is given a second chance when he is hired to help transport a pregnant elephant to a Republican convention in Dallas. 11:00pm �� Cracker

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Scrapheap Challenge 11:05am ��Four in a Bed 1:45pm �� River Cottage Bites 1:55pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2:25pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:00pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:30pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:05pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:40pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:20pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers 7:55pm ��River Cottage Every Day 9:00pm ��River Cottage Every Day 10:00pm ��How to Cook Like Heston 10:35pm....................................... Father Ted 11:40pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers

6:00am ��Tommy Cooper 6:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 7:00am �� All Quiet on the Western Front 10:00am ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 11:00am ��MSA British Touring Car Championship Presented by Steve Rider and Louise Goodman. Following a magnificent opening meeting at Brands Hatch we move on to Donington for live action. 6:00pm.................................... The Sweeney 7:00pm �� Minder 8:00pm ��Rugby Highlights 9:00pm �� Cricket Tom Skippings introduces highlights of two games from the Indian Premier League beginning with Gautam Gambhir’s Kolkata Knight Riders. 10:00pm ��Rocky IV 11:55pm ��Rocky V

The Only Way Is Essex ITV2 - 10:00 - 10:45 pm

The Only Way Is Essex – the show that gave us the ‘vajazzle’ and made everything ‘reem’ returns to ITV2. Our colourful cast once again welcome you into their uber glamorous Essex community – so expect lots of action in nail bars, nightclubs and tanning salons! As always, the series will be filmed close to transmission ensuring everything

that happens with our cast remains as dramatic and explosive as the previous episode. The last series saw the arrival of Ricky, Tom and Bobby with Ricky making his presence known with the ladies of Essex. Joey’s best mate ‘Diags’ joined the cast and the pair continued to live in their own ‘unique world’ which included gui-

tar playing and applying unique face cream! Lydia and Arg split up, Debbie did a skydive and Gemma’s run of bad luck with men seemed to end with the arrival of Charlie. Other favourites also returning include, Sam, Jess, Cara, Billie, Lucy and Mario. Get a bit more Essex in your life – Sunday and Wednesdays on ITV2.

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8:00am ��Generation X A team of teenage mutants set out to stop a scientist intent on taking control of people’s dreams. 9:30am ��The Tomorrow Man A mysterious alien ship crash-lands on Earth and the only survivor is a creature from the future, who soon sets to work testing a rocket in the hope of changing the planet’s destiny. 11:00am ��Based on an Untrue Story Comic spoof of made-for-television films, starring Morgan Fairchild as a perfume industry employee who stumbles from one personal crisis to another, then tangles with a demented stalker preying on topless dancers. 12:35pm ��Half Angel A sleepwalking secretary loves a lawyer by night but hates him by day. 2:00pm �� The Blue Bird A naughty boy and girl search a fantasy world of characters for the bluebird of happiness. 4:00pm ��Big Tom Hanks stars in this hugely successful family fantasy comedy, as a boy ridiculed for his size who makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger - only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. 6:00pm �� Young Frankenstein Hilarious take on James Whale’s classic Thirties shocker with Gene Wilder as the mad scientist who creates a man from body parts. 8:00pm ��Alvin and the Chipmunks A 21st-century adventure for the entertaining little critters who were created in 1958. A struggling songwriter’s home is invaded by a mischievous trio of talking chipmunks: Alvin, Simon and Theodore. 9:47pm ��FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Ice Age 2 Sid the sloth, Manny the mammoth and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger realise their happy existence is about to come to an abrupt end thanks to rising temperatures. Hearing news of a boat that could be the key to survival the three friends set out to the other end of their valley. 11:47pm ��FXM Presents

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m o n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Incredible Edibles 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Help! My Supply Teacher is Magic 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm................................ BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� Bang Goes the Theory 8:00pm ��EastEnders There is great anticipation in the Beale household over the relaunch of Ian’s cafe. Lucy eagerly awaits the reveal of its new name, but will it be the surprise she hoped for? 8:30pm ��Panorama Billionaires Behaving Badly? Current affairs. Glencore is a commodity giant that trades huge quantities of wheat, coal and much of the world’s copper. 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Nikki is forced to confront manipulative serial killer Arnold Mears face-to-face in order to save Annie. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� A Question of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz, with team captains Phil Tufnell and Matt Dawson. Joining the regulars are five-time gold medallist Steve Redgrave, tennis playerturned-pundit Andrew Castle, Welsh rugby great Ieuan Evans and World Champion athlete Fatima Whitbread. 11:05pm ��Late Kick Off 11:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am......................................... BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��Nature’s Top 40 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 8:30pm �� The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 9:00pm............................................... The 70s 10:00pm ��Sounds of the 70s 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� This World

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Jimmy and Nicola are shocked when Elliot turns up. Gennie is upset by being constantly undervalued by Nikhil. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street The Street struggles to cope with the loss of a dear friend. Tommy comes face to face with his past. Will Ken take pity on Leanne? 8:00pm ��The Dales Adrian Edmondson visits clothes designer Izzy Lane, who is searching for traditional Dales knitters to help her complete her collection. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Tommy is left devastated when confronted with the truth. Will Gordon agree to a change in the plans for Betty’s funeral? 9:00pm �� Scott and Bailey The team investigate the murder of a sexily dressed woman with a green head. Gill suspects that the woman’s lover may be responsible- but there is no shortage of suspects. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� The Agenda ITV Political Editor Tom Bradby discusses the big topics and talking points of the week ahead with his guests. 11:05pm �� The Mighty Mississippi Trevor McDonald sets out on an epic journey through the heartland of the USA following the course of its most famous and important river - the Mississippi.

6:15am ��The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am ��Undercover Boss 10:00am ��Mary Portas: Secret Shopper 11:00am �� Secret Location 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News Summary 12:05pm �� River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm ��The Food Hospital 1:35pm ��20 Million Miles to Earth 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Tilly is swept off her feet by newcomer Jen, but is shocked when she discovers who Jen really is. Phoebe is feeling increasingly isolated from George as he fights for his place at college, and determines to do something about it. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 8:00pm �� Inside Nature’s Giants The BAFTA Award-winning team travel to Australia’s red centre to dissect the continent’s most iconic animal: the kangaroo. The vast Outback is home to millions of these bounding giants - some stand two metres tall. 9:00pm ��Embarrassing Bodies Dr Christian heads to Brighton where he meets a man with bother below the belt and a woman with very different breasts. 10:00pm �� Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA In this week’s programme, Gordon travels to Orange County, Southern California, to try to save an Italian restaurant from imminent destruction. 11:00pm ��Homeland After attempting to sever ties with Abu Nazir, Brody finds himself re-living his time in captivity and, painfully reminded of a tragic loss, recommits to his mission.

Inside Nature’s Giants: KANGAROO Channel 4 - 8:00 - 9:00 pm The BAFTA Award-winning team travel to Australia’s red centre to dissect the continent’s most iconic animal: the kangaroo. The vast Outback is home to millions of these bounding giants - some stand two metres tall - but, sadly, every year thousands are fatally injured in traffic accidents. Veterinary scientist Mark Evans and comparative

anatomist Joy Reidenberg take the opportunity to delve inside these bizarre animals. They uncover the kangaroo’s lower jaw, which splits in two, and a massive Achilles tendon that enables it to hop like a frog. But it’s the reproductive anatomy they find most surprising: the male genitalia is back to front, while females have three vaginas as well

as the pouch in which they grow their young from jelly bean-sized embryos. Meanwhile, Simon Watt heads into the Blue Mountains, just outside Sydney, to follow in the footsteps of Charles Darwin. Back in 1836, when the young naturalist visited Australia, he wondered why the animals there were so different to those back home.

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16 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Rory and Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��The Mentalist 3:15pm ��At Risk 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 8:00pm ��Police Interceptors 9:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 10:00pm ��10 Things I Hate About 1995 11:00pm ��Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��Loose Women 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm �� Judge Judy 5:05pm �� Judge Judy 5:30pm �� Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��The Cube 8:00pm �� Gossip Girl 9:00pm �� Passenger 57 10:50pm ��Celebrity Juice 11:35pm �� The Vampire Diaries

7:00pm ��Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May attempt to build cool and interesting motorhomes before setting off for a bank holiday weekend in the West Country to see how each of their creations performs in the real world. 8:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Usa 8:50pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride 9:00pm ��Our Crime Speed. Series exploring real-life scenes of violence, theft and mayhem, to unpack and re-tell the human stories behind the criminal act. At the heart of this film lies the pursuit of speed and the crimes committed when young drivers get behind the wheel. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� World Series of Dating Doyle McManus has a run-in with the law, the girls get blowout button happy, and the worst violation of all - the cleavage violation -makes an appearance, but who do the wandering eyes belong to? 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� River Cottage Bites 10:15am �� Relocation, Relocation 11:25am ��Blossoms in the Dust 1:25pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:10am ��Heartbeat 7:00am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:05am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:10am ��On the Buses 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am ��Cadfael 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:05pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:05pm ��Poirot 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Uefa Champions League Greatest Goals 6:10am �� Quantum Leap 6:55am �� Police Stop! 7:55am �� The Sweeney 8:55am �� Minder 9:55am �� Quantum Leap 10:50am ��Tommy Cooper 11:55am ��The Saint 12:55pm �� The Sweeney 1:55pm �� Minder 3:00pm �� Cricket Sachin Tendulkar shocked many when he handed over the captaincy of the Mumbai Indians to the mercurial Harbhajan Singh.

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote Carrie McKittrick, Jessica’s old high-school teacher, causes friction amongst her family when she revises her will and leaves her entire estate to a TV evangelist. 7:55pm ��Poirot 9:00pm �� John Sergeant on the Tourist Trail 10:00pm �� A Touch of Frost

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs This edition follows the extraordinary story of estate manager Ed Waghorn and his wife Rowena, who live a virtually self-sufficient lifestyle with their four children on an eightacre smallholding in Herefordshire. 9:00pm �� Grand Designs Australia 10:00pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 11:10pm ��The Secret Millionaire

7:30pm ��Rugby Highlights 8:30pm ��Motorway Patrol A fly-on-the-wall documentary series following New Zealand cops. 9:00pm �� Fraud Squad 10:00pm ��Rocky V

ITV2 - 9:00 - 10:50 pm but as the aircraft is taking off, Rane’s associates, who have also boarded the plane, take the vehicle by force and free their leader. With the aid of a sheriff on the ground, a pair of stewardesses (Alex Datcher and Elizlabeth Hurley) and his old friend, airport manager Sly Delvecchio (Tom Sizemore), Cutter puts his special training and martial arts skills to good use combating the kidnappers. The clever, dapper Rane has

ap r i l

6:00am �� Wag the Dog A spin doctor for the US President hires a flamboyant Hollywood producer to orchestrate false reports of war in Albania to divert public attention from a scandal threatening to reveal his boss’s illicit sexual escapades. 7:50am ��FXM Presents 8:00am ��Young Frankenstein Hilarious take on James Whale’s classic Thirties shocker with Gene Wilder as the mad scientist who creates a man from body parts. 9:50am ��The Bullfighters Detectives Stan and Ollie go to Mexico on a case, and Stan looks like a famous bullfighter. 11:00am ��The Longest Day Epic World War Two adventure chronicling the planning and execution of the Allied landings in Normandy on June 6, 1944. 2:00pm ��Conrack ‘Prince of Tides’ author Pat Conroy teaches poor children on an island off South Carolina. 4:00pm �� La Métamorphose des Cloportes Released from prison, a man seeks revenge against his former colleagues. 6:00pm �� The Sicilian A Sicilian bandit becomes a hero of the people by stealing from the landed gentry and giving his ill-gotten gains to the poor. However, as his popularity grows, so does his pride, leading to his downfall when he incurs the wrath of the Mafia. 8:00pm ��Wag the Dog A spin doctor for the US President hires a flamboyant Hollywood producer to orchestrate false reports of war in Albania to divert public attention from a scandal threatening to reveal his boss’s illicit sexual escapades. 9:50pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Little Nicky The Devil decides to put off retirement for a little longer, but his two oldest sons are left fuming - and decide to get revenge by creating Hell on Earth, forcing their demonic dad to turn to the youngest member of the clan to save the day. 11:44pm �� FXM Presents

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Passenger 57 This fast-paced action picture plays like Die Hard (1988) on an airplane. Grieving over the death of his wife at the hands of an armed robber and blaming himself for her death, anti-terrorism expert John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) is retiring from his dangerous job. The flight he’s on is occupied by a coterie of FBI agents escorting the lethal terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne),

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several surprises in store for his nemesis, however, including killing a hostage and an ally who’s only pretending to be on Cutter’s side. His options becoming increasingly limited, Cutter devises a dangerous plan that involves dumping the airplane’s precious fuel reserves. Director Kevin Hooks cast his father, actor Robert Hooks in the role of federal agent Dwight Henderson.

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tu e s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Incredible Edibles 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Who Let the Dogs Out? 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Bianca is left humiliated after she causes a scene in the Vic over a mistaken judgement about Shenice. Mandy’s attempts to make things up to Ian after yesterday’s shock revelation suffer a setback due to Derek’s stirring, and Christian makes a startling discovery about Roxy. 8:00pm ��Holby City On Sahira’s last day at Holby, Hanssen finds it difficult to let his protegee go. As they argue over a patient’s care it is clear that things are still very much unresolved between them. 9:00pm �� The Syndicate Leanne’s past catches up with her, and she is thrown into panic when Stacey goes missing. Feelings are riding high as Stuart tries to help, causing repercussions in his home life. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards 11:10pm ��Kevin Bridges: What’s the Story? Kevin looks at his home country of Scotland. Inspired by his stand-up, he launches his own advertising campaign for the city of Glasgow. 11:40pm ��The Estate

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��Nature’s Top 40 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Hairy Bikers’ Bake-ation 9:00pm ��Meet the Romans with Mary Beard 10:00pm �� Later Live... with Jools Holland 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� The 70s

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am.................................................This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Ali causes a disaster at the factory, but denies responsibility. Nicola argues with Jimmy, refusing to be landed with a homesick Elliot. 7:30pm ��Countrywise Kitchen Chef Mike Robinson travels to Guernsey to explore how the sea, landscape and closeness to France have impacted on the island’s food. 8:00pm �� Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Celebrity Special Actresses Lesley Joseph and Linda Robson play for Age UK and Children with Leukaemia respectively. Then radio presenter Emma Forbes attempts to raise some cash for Wellbeing of Women, and TV presenter Andi Peters answers questions in support of the Prostate Cancer Charity. 9:00pm �� The Mighty Mississippi In this episode, he looks at the river’s influence on the twentieth century as he meets Hollywood star Morgan Freeman and discovers why Morgan returned to his roots in Mississippi after 40 years away. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm ��The Big Quiz: Benidorm v Essex 11:35pm �� Ladette to Lady The three remaining Aussie ladettes face their toughest week yet. They must sit final examinations in all the skills they have learned so far, including flower arranging and cookery.

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am ��Undercover Boss 10:00am ��Mary Portas: Secret Shopper 11:00am �� Secret Location 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News Summary 12:05pm �� River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm ��The Food Hospital 1:30pm ��Gun Fury 3:05pm ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... David Smith 2012 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm....................................The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Desperate to win favour with George, Phoebe hatches a plan. Tilly’s efforts to keep the truth from Jen leave her in a dangerous situation. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Supersize v Superskinny Head to head in the Feeding Clinic this time is 20-year-old Brooke Gamble and superskinny 51-year-old Marie Sheratt. 9:00pm �� The Undateables Actor and media student Sam from Kent has Down’s Syndrome. The 27-year-old has appeared in The Inbetweeners and EastEnders and has a supportive family life, but feels there is something missing - a girl. 10:00pm �� Facejacker Kayan Novak dons elaborate prosthetics to showcase his amazing array of characters and voices. 10:30pm ��Hit the Road Jack 11:05pm ��Random Acts 11:10pm �� Desperate Housewives

Meet The Romans With Mary Beard BBC2 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm In the first episode in a new series exploring Rome from the bottom up, Professor Mary Beard asks not what the Romans did for us, but what the Empire did for Rome. All roads lead to Rome, but this isn’t the tale of trading might and imperial power it’s a portrait of the world’s first global metropolis as seen through the eyes of

the ordinary Roman on the street. This is a city where everyone and everything came from somewhere else. The Empire affected everything Romans wore, ate, touched and worshipped. Mary rides the Via Appia, climbs up to the top seats of the Colosseum, takes a boat to Rome’s famous port Ostia and takes us into the bowels of Monte Testaccio

(‘broken pot mountain’). She also meets Eurysaces, exslave and eccentric baker, who made a fortune out of the grain trade, building his tomb in the shape of a giant bread-oven; Baricha, Zabda and Achiba, three prisoners of war who went on to become Roman citizens and Pupius Amicus, the purpledye seller making imperial dye from murex shellfish imported from Tunisia.

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17 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm.....................................5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Rory and Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3:15pm �� Mystery Woman: Game Time 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Location, Location, Location 11:05am ��Location, Location, Location 11:35am ��Green for Danger 1:25pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:05pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

7:00pm �� Total Wipeout 8:00pm �� Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum Ruby-Jo, Sophie, Jack, Gracie, Ryan, Jade, Tom and Enzo are completely out of their comfort zone when they suddenly find themselves working long hours as cleaners, kitchen staff and tour guides at one of London’s busiest youth hostels. 9:00pm �� I Woke Up Gay At 21, Chris Birch was a typical, burly, rugby playing lad with a girlfriend and a job in a bank, but after a stroke everything changed. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm �� Family Guy When Brian learns that Rush Limbaugh (guest-voicing as himself) is going to be at the Quahog Mall for a book signing, he decides to go and give him a piece of his left-wing mind. 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� The Restoration Man 10:00pm �� Pamela Stephenson: The Fame Report Psychologist Pamela Stephenson presents a brand new one-off documentary about fame and celebrity for More 4. 11:05pm ��The Good Wife

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 7:15am �� The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm �� Judge Judy

6:00am ��Duty Free 6:30am ��Heartbeat 7:25am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:30am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:35am ��Terry and June 10:10am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am............................................................Cadfael 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:00pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:00pm ��Poirot 5:05pm ��Terry and June 5:45pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am ��Motorway Patrol 6:40am �� Quantum Leap 7:35am ��The Saint 8:35am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:30am ��Motorway Patrol 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Shonali Nagrani and Matt Smith present a double bill of live action from the Indian Premier League. Rahul Dravid makes his cricketing swans-song in this year’s IPL after retiring from all forms of cricket last month.

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 8:00pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 8:30pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm �� The Vampire Diaries 10:00pm �� Bridget Jones’s Diary

6:50pm �� Murder, She Wrote 7:55pm ��Wycliffe 9:00pm ��Taggart The body of businessman Jack Bellamy is discovered lying in a pool of blood, and a baby is found abandoned on the doorstep. 10:00pm �� Inspector Wexford 11:45pm ��NUMB3RS

8:00pm ��British Touring Car Championship Highlights 9:30pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 10:00pm �� Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior 12:00am �� Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome

6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 8:00pm �� Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 11:00pm �� CSI: Miami 11:55pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Undateables Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Actor and media student Sam from Kent has Down’s Syndrome. The 27-year-old has appeared in The Inbetweeners and EastEnders and has a supportive family life, but feels there is something missing - a girl. Kali, a 20-year-old singer from south London, has William’s Syndrome - a rare

genetic disorder that can lead to problems with development and is characterised by cheerfulness and strong language skills. Sociable and chatty, Kali is looking for a new boyfriend. She begins her search at a party where she hits the dance floor with a young man called Jimmy. A skater and avid Chelsea supporter, 24-year-old

Hadyn has Crouzon Syndrome - a facial condition for which he’s already had 40 operations, leaving him partially deaf. Supported by his twin brother Ashley and with the help of a dating agency, Hadyn hopes to overcome his lack of confidence in approaching girls and find a keeper.

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A p r i l

6:00am �� Meet the Spartans A fearless warrior king finds his daily routine of throwing people into pits disrupted by Persian invaders, giant robots and random celebrities. 7:37am ��FXM Presents 8:00am ��Airheads Frustrated heavy metal band the Lone Rangers are determined to get air time for their new record and break into a radio station to ensure it happens. 9:35am ��As Young as You Feel A worker poses as the head of the company that owns the company that forced him to retire at 65. 11:00am ��The Bowery Chuck Connors and Steve Brodie’s 1890s saloon feud leads to a Broooklyn Bridge jump. 12:30pm ��Up the River Two Sing Sing inmates escape to help a buddy, then sneak back in. 2:00pm �� Street Angel A young woman on the run from the police joins a traveling circus and falls in love with a painter. Silent. 4:00pm �� Made for Each Other Two New York misfits meet in group therapy, proceed to argue and then fall in love. 6:00pm �� The Man with One Red Shoe A high-ranking member of the CIA tries to bring down a rival by convincing him that innocent violinist Tom Hanks is carrying vital top-secret information. 8:00pm ��An Ideal Husband A London diplomat is blackmailed into pushing a dubious scheme through Parliament by a crafty former love, threatening both his career and marriage. 9:50pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��The Family Stone A New York career woman struggles to make the right impression on her bohemian future in-laws when they meet her over Christmas. She decides to call on her younger sister for some advice and support, but matters take a turn for the worse when her fiance becomes besotted by the gorgeous girl. 11:49pm �� FXM Presents

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w e d n e s d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Incredible Edibles 3:35pm.............................................. Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Deadly Top 10 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� Great Ormond Street Hospital As senior consultants claim that all is not well at Great Ormond Street Hospital, Tim Donovan uses exclusive interviews and the Freedom of Information Act to investigate the lengths that the world-famous and cherished institution will go to to protect its reputation. 8:00pm �� Waterloo Road On the day of Scout’s wedding to asylum seeking pupil Danilo, doubts begin to emerge as she discovers not everyone’s motives are as innocent as hers. 9:00pm ��The Apprentice Lord Sugar turns the candidates’ attentions towards the highly profitable keep fit industry. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45pm �� 2012 Olympic Games 11:45pm �� The Syndicate

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��See Hear 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm ��Our Food 9:00pm �� Divine Women 10:00pm �� The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� Storyville

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal David and his dealers are in Witney, where James Layte has his eye on a vintage sewing machine. 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour The taste tourists visit Whitby in Yorkshire, and their trip begins with a partridge shoot. They also learn how to cook the bird before enjoying a night in a historic house. Who will bag today’s cash prize? 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Laurel’s suspicions of Ashley grow as she begs Sandy to confide in her. Ruby is furious to find Ali lied about why she was sacked. 7:30pm ��UEFA Champions League Adrian Chiles is joined by Roy Keane and Gareth Southgate for live coverage of the Champions League semi-final first leg between Chelsea or Benfica and Barcelona. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm ��UEFA Champions League Extra Time. Matt Smith presents all the action from the first legs of the Champions League semi-finals. The four teams will have their eyes on Munich, knowing that the final in May is only two games away. 11:35pm �� Total Emergency Series following all three major emergency services as they keep the streets of Sheffield safe. Police raid a flat for drugs, paramedics try to save the life of a man who has taken an overdose, and firefighters tackle a blaze in a flat.

6:15am ��The Hoobs 6:40am ��The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am ��Undercover Boss USA 10:00am �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 11:00am �� Secret Location 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News Summary 12:05pm �� River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm ��The Food Hospital 1:35pm ��7th Cavalry 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Maddie realises Tilly is missing and decides to try and rescue her friend, but will her efforts leave her fighting for her life? 7:00pm................................ Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Four Rooms This episode features Napoleon’s death mask, a pair of woolly mammoth tusks, a giant Polaroid by Bob Carlos Clarke and a 1920s chandelier. 9:00pm ��Elizabeth Taylor: Auction of a Lifetime This feature-length documentary explores Elizabeth Taylor’s extraordinary life story through some of her most precious possessions, which feature in landmark auctions in New York and London. 10:35pm �� The Big Bang Theory When Sheldon proves dismissive of Amy’s career accomplishments, Penny, Raj and Leonard try to make him realise that sometimes it’s beneficial to a relationship to pretend to care about things, even if you aren’t really that interested. 1:05pm �� The Big Bang Theory 11:30pm �� The Big Bang Theory 12:00am ��Random Acts

ELIZABETH TAYLOR: AUCTION OF A LIFETIME Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:35 pm This feature-length documentary explores Elizabeth Taylor’s extraordinary life story through some of her most precious possessions, which feature in landmark auctions in New York and London. With exclusive access to Christie’s, this 90-minute film brings to life the excitement and frenetic bidding at the auctions as mil-

lions of pounds are bid for the ‘Crown Jewels of Hollywood’, some of which sell for 50 times their pre-sale estimates. Each item of jewellery, art and haute couture provides a springboard into a key period of Hollywood legend Taylor’s life. The documentary opens a fascinating window into her character and her relationship with jewellery. Interviews with the people

central to Taylor’s life bring into focus what motivated her, her obsession with diamonds, and the fabulous and tumultuous lifestyle she had on and off-screen; interviewees include Joan Collins, Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rooney, and also her favourite jewellery and fashion designers: Bulgari, Cartier, Van Cleef & Arpels, Dior and Valentino, who created many of her extraordinary outfits.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

18 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Rory and Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:20pm ��The Front 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Police Interceptors 8:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 9:00pm ��NCIS 10:00pm �� Law and Order: Criminal Intent 10:55pm �� Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am �� The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm �� Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm �� All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Kids 9:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm �� Batman Begins

7:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Usa 7:50pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride 8:00pm �� I Woke Up Gay Today Chris looks different, sounds different and has a completely different life - he is a gay, image conscious hairdresser interested in fashion and interior decor. 9:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog Lost Dogs Home, Australia. Experts agree that bad dog behaviour is mainly down to bad owners and that the owners need to be fixed first. 10:00pm ��Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents In Ayia Napa, ladies man David Canning from Blackpool is cutting the apron strings and heading off for one last holiday with the lads before pursuing his ambition to join the forces as a fitness instructor. 11:00pm �� Family Guy Peter and Joe team up to execute a series of painful and humiliating Halloween pranks on unsuspecting family, friends and neighbours. 11:40pm �� American Dad!

6:10am ��Duty Free 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:35am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:35am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:45am ��Terry and June 10:20am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Cadfael 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:10pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:10pm ��Poirot 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat 6:50pm �� Murder, She Wrote 7:55pm ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes A concerned doctor visits Holmes about one of his benefactors, who appears to be in a state of terror but says he knows nobody who might harm him. 9:00pm ��Poirot 11:00pm �� Cracker

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Location, Location, Location 11:05am ��Location, Location, Location 11:40am ��Above Us the Waves 1:30pm ��You Deserve This House 2:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:10pm ��Four in a Bed 3:40pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��The Secret Millionaire Secret Millionaire Fil Adams-Mercer left school without qualifications and began his career working at Bolton Market in exchange for bruised fruit. 10:00pm �� One Born Every Minute 11:05pm �� Undercover Boss USA 12:00am ��Grand Designs

6:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 6:25am �� Quantum Leap 7:25am ��The Saint 8:25am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:20am ��Police, Camera, Action! 9:55am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 12:55pm ��Tommy Cooper 1:25pm ��Tommy Cooper 2:00pm �� Quantum Leap 3:00pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Shonali Nagrani presents live IPL action as the Kings XI Punjab face the Kolkata Knight Riders.

7:30pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:00pm ��British Superbike Championship Highlights 9:00pm ��Smugglers 10:00pm �� American History X

tv guide

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7:00am ��Shaft Samuel L Jackson plays a maverick detective who vows to catch a racist criminal suspected of murdering an innocent black man. 8:49am ��FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 9:00am ��Silver Streak An exhausted publisher decides to take time off from the stresses of work and boards a train from LA to Chicago. But in transit the hapless traveller ends up embroiled in a murder plot and the schemes of a dastardly master art forger. 11:00am ��My Pal Gus A candy tycoon falls in love with his son’s teacher and fights his ex-wife for custody. 12:25pm �� The World’s Greatest Lover Gene Wilder stars as a baker, groomed by a Hollywood film company as a rival to Valentino, whose wife falls for the star he is intended to replace. 2:00pm ��Caprice An ambitious career woman investigating her boss’s murder discovers a shady cosmetics corporation is the front for a drug-smuggling ring. 4:00pm ��B.S. I Love You A producer of TV commercials beds his boss, her 18-year-old daughter and his girlfriend in Connecticut. 5:30pm ��At Long Last Love A bored playboy woos a spoiled debutante in art deco 1935 New York. 8:00pm �� The Family Stone A New York career woman struggles to make the right impression on her bohemian future in-laws when they meet her over Christmas. She decides to call on her younger sister for some advice and support, but matters take a turn for the worse when her fiance becomes besotted by the gorgeous girl. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Definitely, Maybe A New York advertising executive on the eve of his divorce tells his daughter all about his love life before he was married, including how he met her mother. However, he changes the names of his former lovers, leaving the girl - and the audience - to guess which one of three women he ended up marrying.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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tv guide

thu r s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Incredible Edibles 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��All Over the Place 4:30pm ��Young Dracula The Enemy. Children’s drama following the misadventures of Vlad and Ingrid, who have moved to Britain with their father, Count Dracula. 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Roxy is left panicking when Alfie goes missing after he is sent to complete another one of Derek’s jobs. Bianca is touched when Max and Tanya offer to apologise for yesterday’s incident by inviting her family over for dinner. 8:00pm ��Watchdog How flying with a budget airline can end up costing you more than travelling with a major carrier. 9:00pm ��New Tricks The team reinvestigate the 1983 abduction of 18-year-old debutante Barbara LindenWarner. The daughter of a wealthy British arms manufacturer, Barbara was the apple of her father’s eye. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��Question Time 11:35pm ��This Week

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am....................................Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��Nature’s Top 40 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Helicopter Heroes 3:45pm �� Flog It! 4:30pm ��Perfection 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Two Greedy Italians 9:00pm �� Louis Theroux 10:00pm ��Grandma’s House 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��Meet the Romans with Mary Beard

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� The Great British Taste Tour 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Laurel is horrified to see Sandy abused first-hand. Ruby is shocked to learn that Ali cannot read. Megan winds Declan up about buying Katie’s affection. 7:30pm �� Tonight Why Isn’t Britain Working? Unemployment is at its highest level for 18 years, but some companies say that they are having trouble recruiting suitable staff. 8:00pm �� Emmerdale Laurel demands the truth from Ashley. Megan gets her claws into Carl. Ali is mortified when her boss Jai finds out she cannot read. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Tommy confronts Terry - but will he get the answers he is looking for? Rita uncovers a startling secret. Sunita relishes taking charge at the Rovers. 9:00pm �� Long Lost Family Seven years ago, 68-year-old Brenda Rhensius retired to South Africa after a successful career in banking. But throughout her life she has been haunted by the decision she made as a pregnant teenager back in Warrington in 1963. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories His first guest is William Roache, who has played Coronation Street’s Ken Barlow since the very first episode of the soap in December 1960. 11:35pm ��The Late Debate

6:00am �� The Treacle People 6:10am ��The Hoobs 7:00am ��Sainsbury’s and Channel 4 Present... Stephen Miller 2012 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am...........................................According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am ��Undercover Boss USA 10:00am ��Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 11:00am �� Secret Location 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News Summary 12:05pm �� River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 1:35pm ��The Lavender Hill Mob 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:30pm ��Four in a Bed 6:00pm ��The Simpsons While Homer prepares for the Homecoming Game after attending his College reunion, Bart meets Brother Faith, a travelling evangelist who makes religion fun. 6:30pm ��Hollyoaks Jacqui is determined to help Phoebe, but Rhys is less than enamored when he realises exactly what she has in mind. Barney musters the courage to bury the hatchet with his parents, but will they welcome him back in? 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� 4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Get Your House in Order Joy is a 57-year-old retiree with an obsession for collecting vintage toys, games and dolls. Three of the rooms in her home are full to the brim with her hoard, which includes over 500 Barbie dolls and over 2000 vintage dolls. 9:00pm �� 9/11: The Lost Tapes For the first time British audiences will hear newly released audio recordings which offer a unique insight and moving perspective on 9/11 and the fateful minutes that changed America forever. 10:00pm �� Extreme A and E 11:05pm ��Embarrassing Bodies

Louis Theroux - Extreme Love: Autism

BBC2 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm In America nearly one child in a hundred is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder - a brain disorder characterised by an inability to socialise and communicate. Louis travels to DLC Warren in New Jersey, one of the most innovative autism schools of its kind, to find out how specialised intervention can help both the

children and the families who care for them. He meets Joey, whose mother Carol is finding it increasingly hard to cope with some of the more challenging aspects of his disorder. In between the ever more explosive tantrums, Louis discovers a cheeky and charming 13-year-old, but there are tough decisions ahead about his future in

the family home. Nicky is 19. After making good progress at DLC Warren he is about to leave, but the prospect of change leads to increasing anxiety and erratic behaviour. Surrounded by a loving family who say they wouldn’t have him any other way, he shows Louis his novel Dragonula and invites him to share his first day at his new school.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

19 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:45am �� Bananas in Pyjamas 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am ��The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm ��Amish Grace 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 6:55pm ��Holiday Heaven on Earth 7:30pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 7:55pm �� UEFA Europa League 10:05pm ��Inferno 11:55pm �� Inside Hollywood

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am �� The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am �� Judge Judy 9:25am ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am �� Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm �� The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm ��The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm �� Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��American Idol 9:00pm �� Olly: Life on Murs 10:00pm ��Celebrity Juice 10:45pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 11:15pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 11:45pm ��A Night with Beyonce

7:00pm �� The Apprentice 8:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog This series challenges young dog owners with bad attitudes to spend a week living with people who depend on dogs - some for their survival in extreme environments around the world and others who depend on them for their jobs. 9:00pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 9:30pm ��Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show Two families are put to the test and get to know each other slightly more than they bargained for in How Well Do U Know Ur Family. Preening premiership footballer Jason Bent holds a press conference as he is announced as the new England captain. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Angry Boys Introducing Jen Okazaki, the single-minded mercenary mother of teen skateboarding sensation Tim. Blake initiates new members to the Mucca Mad Boys gang. 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Location, Location, Location 11:05am ��Location, Location, Location 11:40am �� Merrill’s Marauders 1:30pm ��You Deserve This House 2:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:05pm ��Four in a Bed 3:40pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am ��Duty Free 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:35am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:35am �� Jeeves and Wooster 9:40am ��Terry and June 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Cadfael 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:05pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:05pm ��Poirot 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat 6:50pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Poirot 9:00pm ��Blue Murder Conclusion of the police drama. The stakes are raised in the race against time to solve the case, as Janine is hit by mounting problems both on the case and at home. 10:35pm ��The Great Gatsby

6:10am ��Police, Camera, Action! 6:40am �� Quantum Leap 7:35am ��The Saint 8:35am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Shonali Nagrani and Angus Scott are joined by Mark Butcher and Simon Hughes for two more games from the Indian premier League.

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��The Good Wife 10:00pm �� Father Ted 10:30pm �� Father Ted 11:05pm �� Saving Grace

8:00pm ��From the Ashes Fascinating cricket documentary which goes back to the summer of 1981 against a backdrop of riots on the streets and England one down against Australia and 500-1 odds against beating their old enemy. 10:00pm �� Fire Down Below A rich man attempts to increase his wealth by illegally exploiting abandoned mineshafts, but finds resistance when a mysterious stranger breezes into town with a guitar, a gun and a plan of attack.

ITV2 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm games of the tour - we reveal Olly as he’s never been seen before. SHOW ONE We catch up with Olly and the band at rehearsals – there’s just enough time to pack a bag then he’s off on the road. First stop is Cardiff’s Motorpoint Arena where the tour kicks off to a fabulous start.

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5:30am ��Marley and Me While deciding whether to have a baby, newlywed couple John and Jenny Grogan learn lessons along the way as they try to cope with their new, highly strung, boisterous and energetic labrador puppy. 8:00am �� The World’s Greatest Lover Gene Wilder stars as a baker, groomed by a Hollywood film company as a rival to Valentino, whose wife falls for the star he is intended to replace. 9:35am ��My Pal Gus A candy tycoon falls in love with his son’s teacher and fights his ex-wife for custody. 11:00am ��The Captain from Castile Nobleman Tyrone Power flees the Spanish Inquisition and joins Cortez’s expedition to conquer Mexico. Henry King’s swashbuckling adventure. 1:30pm �� Stars and Stripes Forever Marine bandmaster John Philip Sousa becomes famous for his marches and inspires the sousaphone. 3:00pm �� A Farewell to Arms World War One drama based on the novel by Ernest Hemingway. American Red Cross ambulance driver Rock Hudson falls in love with British nurse Jennifer Jones while recovering from a terrible accident. 6:00pm ��Bad Girls A prostitute is sentenced to hang for killing an abusive customer, but her three friends ride to the rescue and together they flee their frontier town in search of a new life. However, the outlaws are pursued by two detectives, and also come into conflict with a gang of bank robbers who have stolen their money. 8:00pm ��Break Up A woman trapped in an abusive relationship becomes the prime suspect for murder when her husband’s charred body is apparently discovered in a burnt-out car - prompting her to embark on a desperate attempt to prove the violent bully is not really dead. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Freedomland A tense crime thriller based on the novel by Richard Price. Samuel L Jackson stars as Detective Lorenzo Council, who catches the case of a missing four-year-old boy.

Editor Recommends

Olly: Life on Murs OLLY: LIFE ON MURS follows Olly as he embarks on his first ever Arena Tour of Great Britain and Ireland. Accompanied by his ten piece band he’s challenged the fans to message in, telling him the best things to do in each city he visits. With great backstage access, the cream of the concerts, and all the fun and

tv guide

Next is London and the dream gig for any musician – the O2 arena. Olly finds time to surprise his fans on an open top tour bus of London! Then it’s down to Brighton for more concerts, and a fishing trip - hooking up with pal Dermot O’ Leary at his Brighton Fish restaurant.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 time out

Take a little Crossword

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TIME OUT

Across 1. Careful (8) 6. Type of gun (4) 8. Install new wiring (6) 9. Take into custody (6) 10. Breezy (5) 11. Against (7) 13. Grow teeth (6) 15. Remove silt from river (6) 17. Flightless bird (7) 19. Away (5) 22. Pertaining to the Alps (6) 23. Musical dramas (6) 24. Yorkshireman (4) 25. Singer (8)

Down 2. Anthropoid (3-4) 3. Next after the second (5) 4. Augury (4) 5. Frenzied rush (8) 6. Miserly person (7) 7. Result (5) 12. Tutors (8) 14. White ant (7) 16. Rubbish (7) 18. Spread out (5) 20. Poetry (5) 21. Connect (4)

MATHS CHALLENGE Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.

Sudoku

Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom

Fill in the black squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 through 9. An easy one

Word search

Can you find the hidden Ice Cream words? They may be horizontal or vertical.

The dotted lines indicate areas which also contain a non-repeating set of digits. These squares can be added together to produce the sums shown in the clues. A little tougher

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Almond Banana Blueberry Butter Pecan Cherry Chocolate Cinnamon Cookie Dough Hazelnut Licorice Maple Walnut Neapolitan Peach Pistachio Pumpkin Rocky Road Strawberry Vanilla

Spot the 5 differences

Solutions to our puzzles can be found on page 46 This week’s clever quote

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.” - Janette Barber

The brain train

Question One: Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport? Question Two: What is currently the UK’s longest continuous running game show? Question Three: “Allegro” is a musical direction meaning to play how? Question Four: The M20 motorway runs through what English county? Question Five: Henry Cooper and Kevin Keegan both appeared in adverts for what after shave? Question Six: How many squares/ spaces on a chess board?

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 showbiz

The Engagement’s off! Max and The Wanted have been taking America by storm in recent weeks, and it’s put an incredible amount of strain on his relationship with adorable Corrie star Michelle Keegan. But despite intimate snaps with girls and a smooch with Jennifer López on American idol, we weren’t expecting this. On US radio show KIIS FM this week, he dropped a humdinger of an announcement live on-air. Ryan Seacrest and Ellen K told listeners that the 23-year-old Brit is engaged. But Max, chatting to them via a phone interview, quickly interrupted them to say: “No, no, no, not anymore.” The station immediately tweeted the news: “BREAKING: @MaxTheWanted from @thewantedmusic is not engaged anymore! We’re chatting w/him now listen live...” But to add to the drama, straight after Max’s revelation, the line went dead, leaving the presenters to believe they’d been cut off on purpose. Max soon joined Ryan and Ellen back onair, only to be asked if he was “enjoying the benefits of being in a boy band” - to which he replied “absolutely”. But just as we were practising our chat-up lines, Max has gone and crushed our hearts again, saying that although the engagement is off, he and Michelle are still very much together. He tweeted: “Hey everyone, so just to clear up any rumours, me and Shell are still very much together, just there is no wedding. The call got cut off.... And made it sound much worse.”

Atomic Kitten reunion plans suffer setback

Plans for Atomic Kitten to reform have reportedly hit a setback after arguments between the girls over who will rejoin the band. The reunion has been thrown into doubt after Natasha Hamilton said that she would not return to the band if both Jenny Frost and Kerry Katona were included in the line-up. And this could further complicate matters after Jenny recently said she would snub a lineup which featured Kerry. The planned reunion was announced last month, with speculation that the band - whose hits included Whole Again and The Tide Is High - would perform at the Queen’s forthcoming Diamond Jubilee concert. There has been speculation that Kerry - who quit the band in 2001 - may be asked to join the line-up, after the singer turned reality star said cryptically: ‘You

never know, there could be four of us on that stage.’ However Kerry added, ‘I don’t think anything’s been set in stone, but I think it would be really good to see the girls back on stage, and obviously if they invited me it would be good fun.’ The band’s original line-up featured Kerry, Liz McClarnon and Heidi Range, who quit the band in 1999 and was replaced by Natasha Hamilton. Jenny Frost joined following Kerry’s departure.

Simon Cowell ‘to Skype in his X Factor vote’ Despite being set to miss this year’s X Factor UK due to Stateside commitments, Si-

Queen’s Greatest Hits is best-selling album of past 50 years Queen’s Greatest Hits is Britain’s best-selling albums of the last 50 years, a new list has revealed. The album, which has sold 5.8million copies since its release in 1981, is one of two Queen releases in the top 10, with Greatest Hits II just making it in ahead of Madonna’s Immaculate. With 5million sales, The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is the second most popular album of the past half-century, ahead of Abba’s Gold, Oasis’ (What’s The Story) Morning Glory and Michael Jackson’s Thriller, which make up the rest of the top 5. Such is the astonishing success of Adele, her second album, 21, released last year, is already the sixth best-selling album, with sales of over 4.5million.

mon Cowell is thought to be considering phoning in his vote live via Skype as a ‘Voice of God’ on the show when it returns in the autumn. The 52-year-old’s commitments to the US version of the hit singing contest have ruled out a return akin to his reunion with Britain’s Got Talent - but he is believed to be keen to feature in The X Factor remotely to keep it one step ahead of new rival The Voice. This has led to rumours that Cowell will exercise a deciding vote, delivering the final say-so via Skype during the live rounds.

One Direction sued by US band

Boy band One Direction are reportedly facing a lawsuit from a little-known Californian band who share the same name as them. Lawyers for the American quintet who said they have been using the name since 2009 - are set to sue the five-piece for trademark infringement. And they are also seeking an injunction to stop Simon

Cowell’s company Syco Entertainment and record label Sony from using

the name - which could effectively force the band to change it.

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out on the town

Paradise by the Market Tavern

Jo, the boss from “Shenanigans”, and I popped into the “Market Tavern” to watch a special performance off Cher and Meatloaf, starring Avril Taylor and Paul Lee. Hats off to Joe, Stuart and Mark; they always aim high and seldom miss. The bar, on a particularly quiet weekend, was full yet again. The atmosphere was good and the show was great. After a rocky start, marred by one member of the audience who thought he was funnier than the show and dropped his pants to prove it (way to go big boy, or not) Paul’s microphone then failed but he carried on acapello after quipping, “I´ve told the wife to stop nicking the batteries”, quickly rescued by resident compere Adrian Jay, the show must go on, and on it did. The guys did over an hour and fifteen minutes and with no disrespect to the “Tavern” I´d love to see this on a bigger stage with lights and direction. Avrils´ naughty intro in leather and fishnet led in to Paul’s entrance as Meatloaf and the songs just kept getting bigger and better, the costume changes were fab, at one point Avrils ´ decollage was so low Stuarts´eyes nearly left his head as one member of the audience bantered, “don´t forget your gay Stuart”, at

which Avril riposted, “he´s fascinated by my wonderbra, he sees me through the day and wonders where they come from at night”. The smoky vocals of Avril and the unbelievable range of Paul made this a show worth seeing. Great crack was had by all and I’m certainly going to try to arrange a special for Beverly Hills; look out on Coast FM and the Tenerife Weekly for further details, until next time, Gordon King.

Contraband (R)

Starring

Showing daily at 17:15 109 min - Action/Crime/Drama

Robert Wahlberg as John Bryce Caleb Landry Jones as Andy Mark Wahlberg as Chris Farraday Ben Foster as Sebastian Abney

SYNOPSIS:

Mark Wahlberg leads the cast of Contraband, an action-thriller about a man trying to stay out of a world he worked hard to leave behind and the family he’ll do anything to protect. Set in New Orleans, the film explores the cutthroat underground world of international smuggling - full of desperate criminals and corrupt officials, high-stakes and big payoffswhere loyalty rarely exists and death is one wrong turn away. Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris is forced back into doing what he does best-running contraband-to settle Andy’s debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian (Ben Foster), to head to Panama and return with millions in counterfeit bills.

THE GOOD GIG GUIDE Monday 16/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Act Becky

Tuesday 17/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Frank Farrow Cabaret Luke Carey

Wednesday 18/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Ged Bolton

Thursday 19/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Helena

Friday 20/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Michaela

Saturday 21/4 Sunday 22/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Claudio Cabaret Jasmin Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret John Ashford

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Adeje Beach Hotel Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Cabaret Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Alexander McRae

Grandee O’Donnells With Gordon King later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night With Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Dion

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night with Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Dion

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Sparky Marky

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Film Night Plus Quiz

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Michael J Grant

Beverley Hills, Inferno Los Cris Compere Gordon King Cabaret Eagles

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Fraser

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Fun Night With Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Freak Boutique

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Derek Shannon & Gordon King Later in Shenanigans after Loony Toons

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay With Avril Taylor

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Dave Tracey + Cabaret

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac With Elaine Alexander

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King with Blues Bros

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Sunday Roast Special.

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Shiel Campbell

Shenanigans Gordon King After, Loony Toons, Freddy Kay, Dave Dean

All Football Shown

Good Pub Grub

All Football Shown

All Welcome

Corner Bar Dave Michaels

GOOD GIG GUIDE. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL GORDON KING ON 693 732 536

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Sharples in Session By John Sharples

F..F..Facebook

I am a social networker, I don’t mind admitting it. I spend hours on the internet. I never switch the computer off! I enjoy swapping comments with others on Facebook. I have my privacy settings set to very private, but anyone I accept as a “friend” is able to read and comment on my page. Because I am in the entertainment industry, I have accepted a lot of people who know me only because of my work. It is a useful and free tool for publicity. This hasn’t been a problem until recently. Now, I am not a prude and my language has been known to get a little blue on occasion, but I do wish that people would control their language when they send messages or photographs to me. I have family who read my wall along with my Godson and various others. The F-word just seems to appear every single day and I spend much of my time having to hide or delete people’s messages from my page. Are people losing the ability to communicate without using the F-word to accentuate their points? I really think so.

FILL HER UP!

The price of Petrol continues to rise. It’s getting scary. Petrol is almost double the price it was only four years ago. It is all a big con, of course. There is no shortage of oil, despite the goings on in the middle east. The other oil producing countries are more than capable of supplying oil to the world. They have, however, just jumped on the chance to take more money from us. This, in turn, means that the governments are making more money from us all because fuel is taxed as a percentage

Only this week, someone posted a poem on my page. A poem that I used to use on stage, many many years ago. He had posted the same poem with the F-word, added for effect. I don’t personally feel that this word made the poem any funnier and I deleted it! Then I added my own version. Why oh why do a growing number of people feel that the F-word is necessary in every single sentence? When did British people start swearing in mixed company? It amazes me that otherwise kind and considerate people feel the need to use bad language in an everyday manner. I console myself with the thought that it shows them to be both illiterate and bad mannered! I know that this probably makes me sound like an old fashioned and out of date frump, but I am happy with that! I console myself with the thought that it shows them to be both inconsiderate and bad mannered! of the price we pay and on top of that, they are raising the tax on it too in the UK. Anyway, taking all that into account wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could find the cheapest garage near to us at the drop of a hat? WELL::: WE CAN! If you have a smart phone, just download the app gasonline and it will show you the cheapest garage within ten kilometres. If you are on the internet, go to www. gas.encoche.com and once again, the cheapest places in Tenerife for petrol will come up. Good luck with the search. I have used this service and sometimes it makes one hell of a difference.

CLEVER CAR! Pauline, my friend’s mother, decided that it was time to take her car for a service. She set off on her merry way to the garage and on the way there, a light illuminated on the dashboard. When she got to the garage, she told them that she had brought the car for a service, but a light had come on during the trip. The mechanic said that this was the light that tells you it is time for a service! “How did it know” she said!

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 sharples in session

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 advertisment

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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COMMUNITY MATTERS

Community matters

Written by Ken Cumming Pastor of Callao Salvaje Community Church

Easter

Last week was a busy time in the local churches as they prepared for their Easter celebrations and services. The biggest event, without a doubt, was the Passion, portrayed in Adeje on Good Friday with a crowd of 22,000 people to watch the spectacular reenactment of the events leading up to the death of Jesus Christ on the cross and the crucifixion itself. On Sunday morning Silencio Christian Church continued the story when they took their service out into the lower level of Coral Mar Square and with the help of church members who had worked all week to recreate the setting of the resurrection of Jesus with the empty tomb and the stone rolled away.

took to the streets of Callao Salvaje and Playa Paraíso on Sunday afternoon; giving out free mini Easter eggs to passers-by to remind people of God’s free gift of salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, remembered at Eastertime.

If the big question interests you why not come along this week to start to find out the answers. Every Sunday at 7.30pm (FREE)

Pastor Bill Jeffrey (pictured above outside the empty tomb) spoke to a congregation of about 100 people in the open-air with the message “He is Risen” while the singing was led by the church music group. Callao Salvaje Community Church

Why not attend on Sunday night, the Alpha course is being held in Silencio Church?

The power of suggestion

‘’...Your life is shaped by your thoughts.’’ (Proverbs 4:23) Ever watch a food commercial on television and suddenly feel hungry? That’s the power of suggestion. Whatever can grab your attention can capture you. Simply repeating, ‘I must stop drinking, or smoking, or overeating, or lusting,’ doesn’t work because it just keeps you thinking about what you don’t want. Instead of trying to remove those thoughts, replace them. Once your focus is on something good, evil begins to lose its grip. Only by reprogramming your mind can you keep it centred on the right things. The Bible says: ‘Don’t let evil get the upper hand but conquer evil by doing good’ (Romans 12:21). Satan can’t get and keep your attention when your mind is given to something else.

That’s why Paul writes: ‘...Fill your minds with...good...’ (Philippians 4:8). Fighting a thought is futile; it only strengthens the connection between you and it. By dwelling on it you actually reinforce it. Hit the remote; change the channel! Furthermore, you don’t overcome temptation by fighting the feeling of it. The more you fight a feeling, the more it engages and draws you. Turn your attention to something better! Your mind is where the battle is won or lost. Start managing your mind and monitoring your media intake. The Bible says, ‘Your life is shaped by your thoughts.’ The Psalmist prayed, ‘Keep me from paying attention to what is worthless...’ (Psalm 119:37). Is this easy to do? No, it takes discipline and practice. But with time, and God’s grace, you can change the way you think and overcome temptation.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Morning Services Las Americas Anglican Church Pueblo Canario 10.15am Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 11:00am Los Cristianos International Church Princesa Dácil Hotel 11:00am Costa del Silencio Silencio Church Coral Mar Square 11:00am Callao Salvaje Community Church Sueño Azul 11:00am Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Assembly Eng / Spanish 11:00am

SPANISH CORNER Welcome to our next issue of the Spanish corner. I hope you found last week’s words useful. Let’s continue with our progress.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Evening Services Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 6:00pm Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Deutsch Bi Lingual Eng/Ger 2:00pm Las Americas The Living Room Veronica’s 6:00pm Some Other Church activities Many of the local churches also hold mid week services and Bible studies So phone the numbers below or check out the information on their websites. Songs of Praise Sorry this has now finished for the summer Back in October Tuesday Little Angels Mums & Tots Silencio Church 10:30am Tuesday Play Zone Mums & Tots STCF 11:00am Wednesday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am Friday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am The Living Room (Christian drop-in centre) Veronicas Las Americas 922 75 23 64 (above Burger King) Tue – Fri 4-7:00pm Saturday Market Free Literature stall at the Las Américas market. SHE Europe (Confidential HELPLINE for women in crisis) 690 964 145 Also if visiting the North of the Island Puerto del la Cruz Anglican Church North Tenerife Christian Fellowship, next to Post Office 11.30am

More details on all the above can be found on the following websites: www.christiansintenerife.co.uk covering most of the churches www.silenciochurch.org 922 78 40 17 / 609 565 528 www.tenerifechurch.com 922 74 20 45 / 679 660 277 www.callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 922 78 48 77 / 654 932 541 www.stcf.org 922 79 00 07 / 660 183 760 www.caictenerife.com 922 73 16 91 / 628 107 316 www.ntcf.org 922 35 10 11 / 677 349 088

Spanish

Phonetically

English

El Bikini

El Bi-ki-ni

Bikini

La Isla

La Is-la

Island

El Lago

El La-go

Lake

Nadar

Na-dar

To Swim

El Océano

El Oh-se-an-o

Ocean

La Ola

La O-la

(Ocean) Wave

La Piscina

La Pis-ee-nah

Swimming Pool

La Playa

La Pla-ya

Beach

La Puesta De Sol

La Pwes-ta De Sol

Sunset

La Sombrilla

La Som-bree-ya

Beach Umbrella

See you next week!

Carlos.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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health, beauty & fashion

Your Hair & Beauty Advice Column by Jade & staff at The Perfect Gift Salon

This seasons no no´s!

We all keep hearing what looks good, so here is a little reminder of what looks bad! Sometimes we need to work a little harder in certain areas, or need a little help improving our not so good points? So here´s a few tips on looking tip top. Horrendous hands There´s no excuse for messy fingers. With just a few minutes of attention each day, you can have lovely hands that you are not ashamed of. Some jobs can put toll on the nails, so if you have your hands in water or chemicals through the day, use a barrier cream, and rubber gloves if possible. If you are a nibbler, use a varnish, it will remind you not to bite. Regardless how short your nails are, take time to file them a tiny amount every day, and keep the cuticles moiturised, it will streanthen them, and in just a few days they will have grown enough for you to feel proud of your achievments, making it easier for you to carry on with the good work. Maybe visit a salon to get you started, and be sure to get all the advice you need, Your beauty therapist should be able to give you tips on how to grow your nails. Ridiculous roots Ok, roots are just not cool. I know that they can grow through very quickly, but that’s the price we pay for dying our hair. If you are in des-

perate need of getting rid of your unsightly roots, shop about, salons often have offers on that wont brake the bank or your hair! Hideous heels

Bad feet are just not attractive, and living on an island that requires our feet to be out in the open most of the time, causes our feet to dry, crack and look in some cases, shocking! Feet can be tricky and I have had many clients come to me after filing too much skin away, leaving the base of their feet red raw. If you want to attempt giving yourself a pedicure, it is always best to be gentle, especially for the first few times of filing the dead skin. Soak your feet in oils, and use a good foot softening cream. With a little extra attension, you can have feet to be proud of.

Messy mane Come on ladies, we all know that if your hair isnt regularly trimmed, it will break, split,

Thing Of Beauty is a Joy Forever Beauty is a quality which gives pleasure and happiness to the mind. Beauty is something that everyone wishes to have. It is said that original beauty lies in the heart of the people, this is true and it is accepted. At the same time external appearance is also important because anything in general would be characterized by the way they look. Purchasing of beauty products is a part of many people’s budget. When somebody says you are looking so beautiful, it makes you to feel good, increases your confidence and makes you happy in all the possible ways. The cosmetic products which are available in the market serve both the gender to look their best. These pages provide information on

beauty tips, body care, make-up tips and procedures, Diet tips, homemade recipes like face packs, shampoos and moisturizers. It is good to use homemade products instead of using products made from chemicals, and the homemade products do not bring any side effects to the skin. From the view of men and women, beauty is considered to be a superficial aspect. Anyhow, according to the old saying, beauty lies in the eyes of the spectator (beholder). God has blessed each one of us with some sort of natural beauty. Even though, lots of beauty products are available in the market, despite all these beauty products, natural beauty is always considered to be the wellbeing of soul.

look scragly, and no mater how much time you spend on styling, you will never be able to get your hair looking great. A trip to a salon every 6 to 8 weeks will ensure your locks look healthy, and stay in great condition. Furry pits It always makes me chuckle when I see hairy pits on a woman, it is unatractive in every way possible! and there is no need to be too lazy to remove the rugs! If you find you don’t have time shaving, or that it causes an irritating rash, try either a hair removal cream or go for a wax, which should be carried out by a beauty therapyst. Either option should last at least 3 weeks before you need to de-fuzz again. Shocking skin Ok, I know this is an extreem, but our face is generally the first thing people notice. How long has it been since someone has commented on what a great complexion you have? Well, with the correct facial for your skin type, including exfoliating, cleansing, toning, moisturizing, masks and suitable creams, you can have a perfect complexion. Dreadful dyes I think most of us can honestly say that at some point we have had a complete hair disasters with bad dye days, and have had to make an emergency trip to a hair stylist for correction. Not only has it cost us more than needed, but with all the extra dying to correct the dilemma, its left our hair dry and damaged. Leave a hair colour change to the proffesionals, that’s

what they are trained for. Ludicrouse legs LoL! In my opinion, there is nothing more un-femanin than a girl having legs like a mexican f o ot b a l l e r, but the predicament us girls have is that in our sunny climate our legs are constantly on show, and we need the hair to grow enough to enable us to wax the bristles away, so we tend to turn to a razor, which, were originaly designed for mens faces, and should stay that way! The more you shave the stronger the hair grows, but with waxing the hairs grow back through fine and a lot less noticable, so that you can get away with leaving them until its time to wax again. Bushy brows

The great thing about being a female is that we don’t have to have eyebrows like men. We have the choice of so many shapes and styles, So get the tweezers out and keep those brows in order.

For beauty and hair advice, email us at: the.perfect.gift@hotmail.com

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health, beauty & fashion

THE GAIA APOTHECARY QUALIFIED MEDICAL HERBALIST WHAT TO EXPECT AT A CONSULTATION by Meg Glaister

Some people still think that Herbalism is associated with hippies and new age incense burning tree huggers. In fact a consultation with a qualified Herbalist is the complete opposite. Herbal medicine is the first medicine used by mankind and these wonderful plants deserve the knowledge and respect gained in training. A consultation will normally take one to one and a half hours. Because circumstances vary with each individual occasionally the consultation may take longer. The fee is the same whatever the length of time of the consultation. A consultation is completely confidential. I will first take details of the symptoms and record the patient’s health history, so it is important the patient gathers as much information as possible before coming to see me. Any past illnesses are important as

they can be related to the present condition. Details are taken of the patient’s family health history for further clarification. Emotional issues are also taken into consideration towards a diagnosis. I gather as much information as possible to help me decide what the best treatment will be for each patient. Because everyone is different in their physical, emotional and spiritual make up each treatment will be different. Depending on the symptoms I may also take a blood pressure reading and/or pulse reading and look for any signs in the hands, nails and general facial appearance.

After carefully considering the information I have gathered I will usually look at the eyes. This is known as iridology and can be an important tool for diagnosis. Each of the major body parts correspond with the iris and will show up as a mark or colour in certain areas which will help me confirm my diagnosis. When I have reached a conclusion I will make up a bottle of herbal medicine. This is made up of a variety of herbal tinctures specific to each patient’s needs which are taken in teaspoonful doses and are much more convenient than the patient having to make up their own infusions or decoctions. Herbal tinctures will

store indefinitely. I try to make my own tinctures to be sure of the quality and I am currently growing some of my own herbs organically, again to make sure the tinctures are of a high standard. As a qualified practitioner many herbs are available to me that are not available to the public. Diet and lifestyle are discussed and any advice needed will be given to help speed up the healing process. Any questions the patient may have are discussed as the patient should go home feeling reassured that all that can be possibly done to help has been achieved. If you have any health topics you wish me to discuss on this page or would like a consultation please feel free to contact Meg Glaister DBTh MIRCH (The Gaia Apothecary) on 649 529 703 or email gaiaapothecary@ hotmail.com

How to Start Running, Beginning with One Minute

work your way up to longer runs – especially ones set by distance rather than time – you might consider using the internet to chart your course. Looking over a map helps to plan a safe, scenic route and will tell you how far you are running. Make a Plan Starting with One Minute Increments ext is the single most important part of starting to run: designing your running schedule. A schedule (regimen, training plan, outline, etc) is goaldriven, will help you improve in achievable increments, and written on paper – especially a day calendar – will keep you accountable. Beginning runners usually need to build their stamina, so a good starter goal is to work up to running for thirty minutes straight. For the first week you would start easy: run for one minute, walk for two. Do this ten times, and you have a half-hour run. Do the run three times in a week, and you’re on your way! Then, in your second week, you might run for two minutes and walk for one. Every week that follows, you will run a little longer and taper off walking. Adjust at a rate that feels right to you – if a particular week is too tiring; simply repeat it before advancing to the next level. Alternating Days, Muscle Building and Rest As you are starting out, you shouldn’t be running more than every other day. Muscles require 48 hours after an intense run to recover; it is in that window that your muscles are rebuilding and you are becoming stronger. So if you run three days a week – let’s say Monday, Wednesday, and Friday – the other days are your “rest” days. But don’t let the word “rest” mislead you:

most professional regimens suggest doing something less physically-demanding, but still active on these days. Riding your bike or yoga will do the trick. ome regimens suggest walking half an hour to 45 minutes on your rest days. Others recommend push-ups and situps to build your upper body strength and core while your legs are recovering, which is a practical trade off since running utilises your whole body. Don’t forget to “walk it off” when your workout is over – a few minutes cool down helps your body immensely. Likewise, stretching after a workout helps to prevent injury. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Best of luck, runners!

an you run for one minute? Then you can run. Learn how to get started, make a plan, and other tips that will help you hit the ground running. Many people begin running with every good intention, but stop after a week or two – often because they dove in too quickly, without the right equipment, preparation, or mindset – and pulled a muscle, wore themselves out, or got discouraged. Set yourself up for success by starting with the basics. Note that if you have any medical concerns or uncertainties, you should consult your doctor before you begin. What You Need: Clothes, Shoes, and Gear It is recommended that you wear clothing based on weather conditions and whether you prefer to feel warm, cool, or in-between when you run. But generally speaking, dress comfortably: wear athletic shorts or sweatpants and a large t-shirt that you don’t mind getting sweaty. Consider layering – you can always tie a sweatshirt around your waist if you get too hot! Women will probably want a good sports bra. Most important are the shoes – these will make or break your running experience. Many factors determine what shoes work best for you, but a few general guidelines can help beginning runners get started. People with a high arch should look for

more of a curved shoe whereas those with flatter feet need a shoe with good stability; because feet swell during the day like they do when running, you will get a more accurate fit if you shop in the afternoon; your foot should fit neatly in the shoe, but you should still have basic ankle movement (as a shoe that braces too firmly might detract from your exercise.) When in doubt, ask an expert. A salesperson from your local sporting goods shop should be able to help. good pair of trainers might range from 40 Euros to upwards of 100 Euros, but when it comes to running that is the best investment you can make. Use a stopwatch to time yourself. A plastic wristwatch will do. For runners this makes an invaluable tool: an easily accessible clock allows you to time increments as well as track how long you’ve been running. Also, while not necessary, it’s easy to see why so many people run with music players: rhythm is a good motivator, and music can make running a real pleasure! Choose a Route You’ve got your gear – next you’ll need to figure out where you’ll be running. It would be kindest to your body to begin somewhere relatively flat. Your local neighbourhood might suffice (if there is ample pavement and you are not self-conscious!) or perhaps there is a nearby park, nature trail, or a running track you can use. Some people prefer to just get out and go where their feet take them – that works too. When you

Chunky Bangles: 4 of the Best For an instant wardrobe update this summer, all you need is a chunky bangle. Seen decorating wrists everywhere from Fendi and Balenciaga, Yves Saint Laurent and Balmain, they range from the subtlest gold metal cuff to some of spring’s most attention-grabbing jewels. At Hermès, they came stacked in tan leather of varying sizes, while Donna Karan chose single bold wooden designs to weigh down arms. Chanel went for gold, showing cuffs studded with gems, while Giambattista Valli’s snaked up models’ arms in swirls of metal.

Tommy Hilfiger

Balenciaga Fendi

Balmain

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WILDE’S WORLD / WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE?

WILDE’S WORLD

Elephants on Mars? Not on your nelly It seems we now know where elephants came from

and where they go when they pack their trunks – Mars. A rock formation on the red planet has astronomers laughing as it really does look like an elephant head. The picture is a form of what is called pareidolia, where we see things that aren’t really there – it’s more often the face of Jesus on a slice of toast rather than

pachyderms on planets. ‘An elephant can walk away from the slowly advancing flow front,’ commented Alfred McEwen, a planetary geologist at the University of Arizona. ‘However, there is also evidence for much more rapidly flowing lava on Mars, a true flood of lava. ‘In this instance, maybe this elephant couldn’t run away fast enough.’

Petrified postmen ordered to stay away from Snowball the cat harmless’ by owner Ian Wilkinson, the UK’s postal service said Snowball posed an ‘unacceptably high level of risk’. Royal Mail said three employees suffered ‘quite deep cuts’ after all being attacked by the 10inch tall feline. Mr Wilkinson, 46, said he was shocked when he received a letter from Royal Mail saying its workers would no longer be delivering mail to his home in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire.

Frightened postal workers have been banned from delivering letters to one notoriously hazardous address after being repeatedly ‘attacked’ by a threeyear-old cat called Snowball. Following a thorough investigation the Royal Mail has stopped its workers from delivering mail to the address after labelling the black and white moggy a ‘health and safety risk’. Despite being described as ‘absolutely

Cuddling Carrots

Welsh gardener Sue Smith was left stunned after discovering two inseparable cuddling carrots sharing a warm embrace while digging up her allotment. Green-fingered grandmother Sue was pulling up her home-grown produce when she came across the loved-up pair of orange vegetables. The 60-year-old cleaner decided against eating the ‘in love’ carrots and now has

them on display in her kitchen. She said: ‘It looked like two carrots having a cuddle and I just thought it was lovely. We couldn’t eat it, it was “in love” and you can’t eat a carrot in love, that’s cruel.”

Cold beer: Soft-serve head keeps brew chilled Japanese brewer Kirin has developed frozen beer foam that is dispensed like softserve ice cream. Cold beer is cherished around the world, especially during the warmer months of the year. Frosty mugs and insulated sleeves known as beer koozies do the job well enough. But why not top off your suds with frozen beer foam instead? The clever boffins at Japanese brewing giant Kirin have figured out how to create frozen foam and dispense it on top of a beer like a person filling a cone with soft-serve ice cream. Cool!

Blessed are the children

If you were to list the world’s most responsible jobs, somewhere high on the list you would probably find the person with their finger on the nuclear button. The people responsible for safeguarding nations have to go through stringent psychological examination, picking through the darkest moral dilemmas, wade through manual after operation manual to basically do one thing….. Press a button. A brief moment of shattering stress and their job is done. I however believe there is a much more responsible and stressful job! One that doesn’t come with any training, no psyche evaluation is required, and there is no operating manual; in fact the only qualification you need is to play rumpy pumpy with a member of the opposite sex. As someone once said, you need a licence to catch fish or even drive a lawn mower, but they will let any Tom, Dick or Harry become a parent!! School holidays are upon us again and every year I still see things that beggar belief. In the UK alone, official baby sitters are now required to provide CRO (criminal record office) certification, references and all manner of credentials, to show trustworthiness and responsibility, yet parents on holiday get away with ridiculous neglect. Their children, ceremoniously

By Dave Michaels dumped on the dance floor with strangers (or the entertainer), which is then expected to watch over their offspring whilst the parents proceed to drink the bar dry. In years gone by I have seen kids left in the hotel bar whilst the parents venture out into the night, others left in reception!!! Some take greater care of their phones than they do their children. As a person not blessed with kids, I am sure there are times when parents need space, but as a human being, I cannot begin to fathom how somebody could treat their most treasured possession as a burden. To the point of making their children someone else’s burden on THEIR holiday!! How many of us have seen children being told off for crying……… at eleven o’clock at night in a loud bar. Just last night three young lads (the oldest I would guess at eight years old) past me on the street, each with their own bottle of beer!! Not excusing the beer, but what were three boys doing on the streets of Las Américas alone, after midnight in a foreign country. In more recent times I have heard stories of children younger than that, drinking spirits whilst under the supervision of THEIR PARENTS!!! Would you watch on whilst your child

Another issue and another look into the weird and more unusual news stories of the week.

drank bleach? Some even laughing at their inebriated offspring; and then having the audacity to complain when their child is poorly the following day! This neglect doesn’t end with alcohol. A friend expressed his disgust recently on

This is not cute!

R.I.B - REST IN BACON

If your last dying wish would be to eat a plate full of sizzling bacon, there’s a coffin that may be your match made in heaven. The bacon coffin retails at $2,999.99 plus shipping, but it’s a small price to pay for “those who love bacon to death.” Seattle-based J&D’s Foods (purveyors of all things bacon, including bacon salt and bacon lip balm) says its mission is “to put the ‘fun’ back in funerals.” Alas, the coffins are not actually made from bacon, but painted to look like the mouth-watering strips. Inside the coffin are ivory crepe coffin linens, as well as a bacon memorial tube and a bacon air freshener.

arettes in hand. I myself witnessed a family of four in the airport departure queue, every one of them burnt to the point of blisters, open wounds on the youngest ones shoulders barely out of nappies. Over the past few weeks I have not really done a great deal of cage rattling (as my column header suggests) but this week has truly shown me how despicable some people can be, obviously not all. But please take this as a wakeup call. There is a reason children aren’t allowed to drink alcohol. Think before sending your toddler to buy cigarettes and then laughing at how cute they are! What kind of message are you sending to them (and I am a smoker, it is my choice, I am an adult, I get to make that decision). Sunshine can be dangerous, limit your children’s exposure to it or at least have the foresight to apply a strong sunscreen or sun block. As adults, most of us believe it is “none of our business” how people treat or raise their children. We say we care, but where is the difference between a sunburnt child, or a child with cigarette burns, or scolding scars from boiling water or an unattended iron. We are adults, they are children, and they rely on US to be responsible, even when the parents are literally incapable of being so. So stand up! Get involved! IT IS OUR BUSI-

NESS! a social networking site at the sight of a small child walking, unaccompanied down the street with an unopened packet of cig-

I’m not asking you to push a button to save a nation, but I hope I have pushed the right button to maybe save a child’s life.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

Pushed Dad’s din out Calders Confessions Calder spent twelve years working as PA and Co-presenter with Jeremy Kyle on various radio stations and has now joined the team at Coast FM where he answers listeners´dilemmas each Sunday night on the airwaves. Jeremy will be joining Calder for a very special edition of ‘Calder’s Confessions’ this Sunday from 10pm on Coast FM. If you have an issue you can`t overcome or just need general help and confidential advice, why not email Calder: calder@coastfmtenerife.com

My husband’s best friend from school has recently moved in near us and since he moved my husband’s been seeing him nearly every evening. His friend has lived abroad for years and so I understand that he’s happy to have him nearby again, but I feel really pushed out. He never invites me when they go to the pub together, and so for the last three weeks I’ve hardly spent any time with him. I’m started to make spiteful comments whenever he mentions him because I resent him taking up all my husband’s time. Am I just being selfish? Paula I can understand your point Paula, its pretty insensitive of your old man to just drop you in favour of this old friend. Rather than getting all worked up about it, why don’t you be the one to suggest you tag along for a night? As you’ve found so far, its all too easy to let things like this simmer under the surface and almost turn you into something you’re clearly not. Explain to your husband that you don’t want to muscle in or ruin his time with his friend but that you’d like to be included in their plans every once in a while. Wading in, all guns blaring, is the last thing you want to do as it will probably just cause a huge row and make things a hundred times worse. Bite your tongue and take the softly softly approach and with any luck, your husband will wake up to the fact that he’s been neglecting you.

I’ve just got engaged and as soon as my dad heard about it, he asked if I’d have his band performing at my evening do. I feel so awkward I don’t know what to do. Me and Mum have put up with him being in a band for years and humoured him, but to be honest he’s not very good. I can’t bear the thought of him and his mates standing up there in front of all my friends singing to old songs which my mates won’t even know. But I don’t want to hurt dad’s feelings, especially as he’s paying for the wedding. Kelly

IF I were your dad, I think I’d be more hurt if you weren’t completely honest with me. I have to admit, it’s a tricky situation but, as ever, being up front about it is the only thing you can do. Why not try and reach a compromise with

CALDERS CONFESSIONS

your dad? Perhaps agree to him singing just one song at the reception? Ultimately sweetheart, this is your big day and its up to everybody around you to fit in with what you want. Your dad shouldn’t be treating it a his big chance to perform in front of a captive audience should he? Sit down and have a chat with him, explain that you just don’t think your mates would appreciate his kind of music for the entire night! The longer you leave this, the worse it will get so my advice is to take a deep breath and approach your dad before things go too far.

Shady secret? Lately my husband keeps wanting to try new stuff in the bedroom and it’s making me really worried. We’ve been married for 15 years and normally we have sex about once a week but lately he’s been wanting to do it much more often and keeps asking me to try things that I’m not comfortable with. Then when I tell him no he gets annoyed and we have an argument. I thought our sex life was fine before and I don’t know why things have suddenly changed. And while I don’t want to do some of the stuff he asks for, I don’t want him to go elsewhere for it. Sue

Stand your ground Sue. Its patently not right for anybody to expect or demand you

to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Quite frankly, if your husband has an issue with that, then maybe its time for you to reconsider your marriage anyway! The fact that him going elsewhere is even a possibility speaks volumes to me sweetheart. There could be any number of reasons for his sudden change in the bedroom and he’s the only one who can tell you, why not ask him outright? Sit him down one evening and explain exactly how he’s making you feel. Too many couples forget to communicate their feelings and the end result is usually a parting of the ways. Right now, you’re obviously unhappy with things and unless you stand your ground nothing will ever change will it?

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 PSYCHE / HOROSCOPES

MIND, BODY AND with SPIRIT Liana Mẽ Aly Ah

• International Intuitive • Life Enhancement Coach • Spiritual Mentor

Words

This week I am inspired to talk about all the new words we once kept quiet, yet now find in our everyday vocabulary. No longer are words like Aura, Chakras, and Meditation looked at with cynicism. As we use these words daily they become our new vocabulary, the use of them assists people in understanding the new wave of healers and Lightworkers; all ready and willing to help people deal with all their issues in these changing times.

Some of these words I have talked about so far in previous issues. And there is more to come, but here I just want to say how far we have come on this evolutionary path. Acceptance is here at long last, from the medical profession, for alternative healing methods being used. Reiki Healing Energy being used in some hospitals and clinics is a huge advance in thinking for modern medicine. People crave peace and answers. Many people are unhappy and lonely and sick, all of this because they have lost that connection with self, lost the connection with their life purpose. So what new words do you understand, or want to know more about? Self- development, and affirmations, and PMA…short for positive mental attitude, is all now big business and some firms cultivate this in their employees. Affirmations are a way of uplifting us, with positive statements to build our self-esteem, and to manifest the things we want in life. Self- development has become major business, with people from all lifestyles, seeking a new way of being, from many different angles. A wave of Life Coaches have been born, and this is a fairly new profession, but one born out of a need, and a demand from people dissatisfied with their lives, and needing a change, and not knowing how to get there. This first started in America, when the demand for people looking for

positive motivation turned into big business for positive minded people. This then led onto those life coaches and mentors realising we can only be happy if we find the peace within, which then suggests it is paramount we step onto our spiritual path and find our way home. There are many Spiritual Life Coaches, all using their own brand of unique guidance and knowledge to help people realise their potential and live happy lives. These are people, who have spent many years training with many different types of spiritual people and gurus, taking many different types of courses in an effort to improve self, so they can help others. So finding a mentor or someone to work with, to help you through troubled times is becoming the norm and not something to be ashamed of. There are now so many more, new healing modalities on offer, all very beneficial and can help on many different energetic levels. In an effort to improve ourselves and be happy, we find people crossing our paths who may be of help to us. I am constantly working with people who are finding their way. I use different methods to help people release their baggage, and feel good about themselves, again. Working with someone who can see and feel you energetically, can help you realise your potential and give you the confidence, to be who you really are. On the 22nd of April in Callao Salvaje I am running a spiritual self development day, using various methods, to help you move forward in a focused manner, making appropriate changes in your life. A day to nurture yourself, and have some me time. If you are interested in joining me call me on 672 994 666 New meditation classes Callao Learning Centre, Callao Salvaje. Wednesday Evenings 7-9 pm Polercise Flamingo Club Las Americas … Friday Mornings 10-12am. For more info and to register for each class. Contact me on 672 994 666 or lovieart@ gmail.com More info on www.liana.lovie.com

Until next week, LIANA MẼ ALY AH

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS I am Spiritual agony aunt, and will answer any concerns or questions anyone may have about their difficulties in life or curiosity into the spiritual field. Or if anyone wants to give me topics to discuss here, please contact me, liana@tenerifeweekly.es

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Weekly Horoscopes

Aries - Mar 21 - Apr 19

If you’ve been holding anything back, it may not be possible to do so for much longer. And yes, this could be akin to Pandora’s box opening. For many this could prove an ultra challenging week. Recall that Saturn has been in your opposite sign for a couple of years now. Do you feel held back by those who profess to be ‘experts’ but who, in your mind, aren’t worthy of that much respect. This could be a power struggle of gigantic proportions. At a different level this might also be about the need to be ‘re-homed’ - put in a different environment where you feel you’ll thrive. Impatience to make this move could lead you to making all-too-quick decisions. This is where the wise counsel of someone older could be so helpful (if a little irritating).

Taurus - Apr 20 - May 20

It might feel as though you’re trying to make up for lost time. Resist that thought if you can - it would surely add a pressure you don’t need. In any case you might be susceptible to people telling you what you ought and ought not be doing presently. True, perhaps a little guidance would be helpful - but nothing should replace listening to your inner voice. Fact is that Mars stations next weekend and with that will surely come a surge in the desire to take a few risks (educated ones obviously!). And yes, before you can move forward perhaps you do need to step off a tricky hamster-wheel cycle of health or other daily pressures. That time is coming though and with the help of a Virgo could perhaps be achieved with reasonable ease.

Gemini - May 21 - June 20

Is it possible you feel to be under some sort of test? Is there a professional or even family-crisis going on? And might it be that this is demanding so much energy and focus that you really can’t think about other things? It would be wholly understandable if your nervous system was over-loaded. Yet, as Pluto stations on Tuesday, you too have the opportunity to press the pause button, refuse to engage and instead to stay quietly ‘in the moment’ refusing to react when others get all hot under the collar. Fact is that what’s done in haste is often repented. If your inner voice is making clear you don’t yet have all the information you require, you’d be wise to listen to it. Not making a drama out of a crisis could be this week’s test.

Cancer - June 21 - July 22

It’s perhaps been the best part of a year since you began professional and domestic changes. The fact that neither is finished could be a source of some frustration - as much to those close to you as to you. Yet the next phase could get underway before next Sunday. True, you and someone older (or a Capricorn?) might need to initiate developments but it can be done - and successfully. The driver behind the completion of projects may well be the arrival of someone from the past - or due to the needs of someone from another generation. Either way it you could end this week acknowledging that there will be short term chaos but that these productions are now well on the way to completion.

Leo - July 23 - Aug 22

In the lead into Mars’ station on 14th, you may wish to reconsider your stance. Without compromising your integrity, it might now be clear that the approach you’ve been taking (wait and see?) isn’t satisfying. You might now wish to make clear that you feel better when there’s a clear plan. You could take those born under the Mutable signs (that’s Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces) quite by surprise: they may feel they’ve been clear! Over Wednesday and Thursday especially finding out who said what and who meant what they say should yield valuable information. Once armed with this knowledge you might then decide to take charge, set a clear goal and a time-line. You may then be pleasantly surprised to discover that the people whom you felt were holding you back are now very much ‘on-side’.

Virgo - Aug 23 - Sept 22

It might feel as though you’ve been running with ants in your pants since last November. In a sense then, perhaps you’ve got used to being run ragged by others. Mars is about to station in your sign (on Saturday) and with that comes fresh energy. This has big implications for relationships where you’re likely to find a steely resolve that’s actually been there all along but which you’ve doubted. It’s probable too that what you learn over the next seven days - and which makes clear just how much hot water a certain person has got themselves into - also creates a pathway for your success. Where the other person might think you’re going into competition, you know that’s not true and that what you’re doing now is building on your strengths. And this is just the start!

Libra - Sept 23 - Oct 22

Three highly significant events take place over the next seven days. Firstly there’s the prospect of developments on the home front which leave you back in touch with people or items whose history you know well. Of course you’ve both ‘moved on’ - yet it seems there’s still more to share. Secondly, there’s growing awareness that you can and should take charge of your own destiny. You now know which responsibilities you’re happy to accept and which need to be put firmly behind you. Lastly - and most importantly - Mars comes to a station next weekend. If you’ve felt to be moving through administrative or health-related treacle for the last four or five months, that’s all set to change. The next question is whether or not you’re ready for new challenges.

Scorpio - Oct 23 - Nov 21

As you may know, your sign is sensitive to the movements of both Mars and Pluto (the passion combination). Both arrive at stations in the next seven days. Pluto is first (on Tuesday) followed by Mars at the weekend. It’s probable then that you’ll experience a definite shifting of the sands. Early in the week it’s about rediscovery - and perhaps awareness that you need to revamp your c.v. or present some other document differently in order to get past what is now a blockage. Later, after Mars moves forward, it might feel as though an army has fallen in behind you. Through a network - and specifically through a friend who’s just turned up again after a long time, you could reconnect with a team you’ve worked with before. A project scheduled to conclude in June could then really take off.

Sagittarius - Nov 22 - Dec21

It’s probable that there are financial decisions to make - and that you might not know if you’ve done the ‘right’ thing for some months. It’s possible though that health and domestic matters will take priority. Though you may not know exactly where you stand in all this until next weekend at the very earliest ( most likely as you await test results), this intervening period could be productive in that focus is put on matters which someone seem to have piled up since November. You may need the assistance of someone who knows how to work an administrative system. With assistance - and well before the weekend - you could find cost effective solutions however. The only snag is that some tasks will take weeks and that these might not resolve until late June.

Capricorn - Dec 22 - Jan 19

That ‘for every two feet forward you take one step back’ feeling could be with you for much of this week. You might also be stopped in your tracks on Tuesday by news which makes clear you’re not as ‘bullet proof’ as you thought. Again this issue of expertise and whether or not you have the right training for a particular project could come up - and several times. Even so, and most likely around Thursday, a group whom you’ve only just got to know may have helpful ideas - and could make introductions on your behalf. Connections made this week will surely have even greater value in June. It wouldn’t be surprising if there was increased contact with either a head office in another country, a legal team or with a place of high education.

Aquarius - Jan 19 - Feb18

It might help to be reminded that Saturn is presently travelling through another of the Air signs. Saturn is often seen as the ‘cosmic headmaster’ so it wouldn’t be surprising if you felt that you were on some kind of course and, perhaps, not doing quite as well as you’d hoped. Mars changes apparent direction at the weekend though and it surely won’t be long before you feel you’ve not only gained more knowledge but that you’re now in a position to guide others. True you might also be dealing with complicated financial matters where you feel there’s still rather more going out than in. Yet it’s likely you have expertise already which others value (and would pay for). It wouldn’t be surprising then if an interesting little offer came your way before the weekend.

Pisces - Feb 19 - Mar20

Whether you’re repulsed or attracted, as Pluto stations early this week powerful feelings are set to emerge. And yes, it could take a few days to get a grip. On top of this your nervous system may be weighed down by factors you can’t quite understand. Bear in mind that Mars arrives at a station in your opposite sign at the weekend (a rare event) and that you might not feel you have much energy until after then. This intervening period should be useful - both in identifying which items, places and people are draining you and in determining which fire you up in the nicest of ways. It might suit you to overhaul an administrative system and to discuss with a relative how they could take on a responsibility that’s now just too much for you.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 PETS’ PAGE

Pets’ Corner

Welcome to Tenerife Weekly’s Pets’ Page

My name is Steph and some of you may have heard me on Coast FM each Thursday when I try to find good homes for fantastic pets. Each week this page will be filled with both useful and entertaining information to keep you up to date with the world of pets here in the Canaries.

What a wet week! Paws for Thought:

Well, what a week of weather it has been here in Tenerife!! It definitely needed it although I can honestly say that my dogs have not been too impressed by the whole thing. The ducks, on the other hand, are in their element. So we continue to don our waterproofs and stomp out on very unsociable dog walks each day, noticing the distinct reduction in numbers of other people. I’m not too sure that my four legged friends are

overly grateful for the treks but needless to say it has to be done. Thankfully mine are short haired but don’t forget to give your dog a thorough brush after coming in from the rain, it plays havoc with their fur! All I can think is, thank goodness we aren’t in the UK as they would have wet walks on a much more regular basis! Bring on the sunshine now, I’ve had enough!

It was great to see many new faces at the refuge and lots of past adopted dogs also came back to the refuge to give their support with their new owners. A big thank you to Andrea Scheithe from Atletismo Arona

for all her help and support in organising the event in conjunction with the staff at Acción Del Sol.

The children had great fun hunting Easter eggs, playing with the puppies, joining in the races, having their faces painted and “show jumping “ with the dogs. Marion would like to thank everyone who supported the event and for their on-going commitment to the dogs welfare here in Tenerife. Please call 922 778 630 for more information or if you would like to help out in anyway, maybe even a bit of dog walking if you have a bit of spare time. The refuge is situated at Polígono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are and it is open to the public Monday - Friday 3-6pm.

Useful Numbers

Dog & Cat Grooming 628 859 973/938 023 000 If you find an abandoned dog: Arona - 010 • Everywhere else – 112

24 Hour Vets: Fanabe - 617 483 707 El Medano - 607 346 183 Playa San Juan – 922 832 344

Can you help one of the featured animals? Have you an article of interest?

Does your pet deserve a feature? Drop me an email at vetpetcare@hotmail.com

The Little Dogs’ Home

Acción del Sol’s weekly news

Acción Del Sols fund raising event was a great success, rain looked like it was going to ruin the event but the sun shone down on the refuge. People of all ages entered in the fun with many of the dogs based at Acción Del Sol joining in the races, they all really enjoyed all the extra attention and I’m sure maybe a dog or two may have found new loving homes after the day’s events.

Pinky and Perky are two gorgeous five week old kittens who need homes. They are currently residing at K9 kennels just above Las Chafiras. They are a boy and a girl and VERY cute! Do you have any spare wool hanging about? K9 need donations to make blankets and coats for the dogs. If you can help please drop it into the kennels.

This week The Little Dogs’ Home welcomes Kelly who is very kindly giving her time working in charge of welfare at the refuge. She brings with her several qualifications from the UK as well as years of experience. The whole centre is running very smoothly indeed and three dogs were lucky enough to find new homes this week which is a great result! If you would like to adopt a dog or help out then please call Chris and Babs on 672 917 193

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gardening

Summer is a time of beauty and abundance in the garden. It’s also a busy time for the gardener, full of chores that are necessary to care for and maintain the health of your plants. Listed below are some of the core tasks of the hot Tenerife season to help you prioritise your workload. Indoor garden Early summer is the ideal time to plant containers, such as patio pots, window boxes, and hanging baskets. Don’t forget to feed container-bound plants as the summer progresses.

Dead-heading This is often a spring chore, but you should continue to dead-head flowers that have

Emergencies

Emergency services (all) 112 National Police 091 Local police 092 Ambulance 061 Fire Brigade 080 Guardia Civil 062

Pharmacy information and locator (24 hours) 922 282 424 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

Tour operators (in alphabetical order) Cosmos

Summer Flowers: Gardening Tips for Summer passed throughout the summer (this increases bloom time and strengthens the plant). Pay special attention to dead-heading flowers that self-seed once they have passed so that you maintain control over where they spread in your garden. If you want to propagate certain plants, you can save the flower heads for planting at a later date. Pest Patrol Keep a close watch over your garden for any sign of pests so that you can move quickly and take action before the problem spreads out of control. On roses especially, keep an eye out for aphids and mildew. This is also a good time to reapply pepper wax or whatever you might be using to keep rabbits, lizards and other big pests away. Staking & Support Put stakes and supports in place for tall, herbaceous plants, like peonies and delphiniums. This will prevent them from falling over or look messy as they grow taller and heavy with blooms with the progressing

Useful Numbers

The “Bono-Bus” discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30% Radio taxis 922 641 112 922 747 511 Note: taxi cabs display a “SP” (servicio público) plate on the rear of the car.

National ferry services

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) For flights from Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights Flight information 902 404 704 (line open 24 hours) Airport information 922 759 000 Tourist information 922 392 037

922 176 002

922 793 802

Thomas Cook 922 757 409

Thomson

922 798 607

TUI

922 777 720

Transport Buses

TITSA (Tenerife’s public bus company) 922 531 300

TFN - Tenerife North Airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some international and mainland services Flight information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General information 922 635 800

Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252

Tourist offices (in alphabetical order) Costa Adeje 922 750 633

El Médano La Laguna

922 631 194

La Orotava

922 323 041

Las Galletas

922 730 133

Los Cristianos 922 757 137

Los Llanos de Aridane 922 401 899

Playa de las Américas 922 796 668

Playa de las Vistas 922 787 011

Puerto de la Cruz 922 386 000

Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 289 394

Santiago del Teide 922 860 348

Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) 902 003 121

season. Likewise, as climbers display new growth, be sure to position them on a support system in order to maintain control over where they grow and prevent an untidy appearance. Watering Don’t forget to keep up with your watering, especially as the very hot

we a t h e r sets in. If you don’t water enough, roots will stay near the surface, making them even more prone to the heat. An inch of water a week is a good rule of thumb, so don’t just spritz, water deeply to keep those roots digging deeper. Plant Bulbs Mid-summer is the time to plant bulbs that will bloom in the autumn, such as colchicum. Wait for late summer to plant bulbs that will bloom in the spring. Sow Annuals Early summer is a perMulti-lingual police fect time to sow hardy central office annuals, such as lupines, 902 102 112 outdoors in the garden. Call this number and ask for an English operator to make an official report or complaint. Local police 922 757 006 Red Cross Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

You can also sow biennials, such as forgetme-nots. These hardy plants are easy to grow outdoors from seed. Prune Shrubs Although many shrubs do not require pruning, some shrubs that flower in the spring and early summer, such as lilacs, will greatly benefit from pruning once they have finished flowering. This keeps them looking lovely season after season.

Be sure, of course, to take some time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the joys of summer in your garden…a cherished time of year for every gardener.

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

Hospitals and Medical centres (answering machine)

094 Hospital Las Américas, Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022 Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000

Irish Consulate 922 745 671

British Consulate

Address: Plaza Wayler, 8, 1o, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 286 863 Opening hours: Mon-Fri, 8:30am - 1:30pm British Consul: Matthew Vickers British Vice-Consul Helen Keating

1. Figure skating 2. Countdown 3. Lively/fast 4. Kent 5. Brut 6. 64

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 FOOD

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Welcome to Karoline’s Kitchen Well the time of year has come for us to be bombarded with adverts, news reports and television programmes all about getting the perfect summer body or reducing our waistlines for our holiday. It drives me mad to have all of

these comments thrust in front of us every spring; with all of the adverts saying how easy it is to drop a dress size in a month, or try the bikini diet and be super slim for the summer. Well, in my opinion diet or healthy eating should be a year round thing

Spicy Chicken with Broccoli 2 broccoli heads, cut into florets Spray Oil or a small teaspoon of oil 5 shallots or 1 onion, finely sliced 20 pitted black olives 4 cooked chicken breasts, sliced 4 tbsp soy sauce 2 red chillies, deseeded and sliced 2 garlic cloves, sliced

Steam the broccoli for 4 mins until just tender, tip into a large bowl, then season.

not just for the summer. I am sure we all overindulge some of the time, but try and include a healthy meal in your daily regime and remember healthy eating doesn’t mean reducing the flavours; just reducing the fat content.

Have a great week cooking and if you have any recipes that you wish to share or any tips or family cheats then get in touch by email on; karoline@tenerifeweekly.es Until next time,

Karoline Shovlar

Meanwhile, heat the oil in a pan, then fry the onions for 2 mins. Add the chillies and garlic, then cook for a further 4 mins until softened. Remove the onions, chilli and garlic with a slotted spoon, then mix with the broccoli, olives and chicken. Add the soy sauce to the pan, warm over a medium heat, and then pour over the salad. Eat warm or cold.

Healthy Vegetable Soup 2 sliced carrots 1 large diced onion 1 large courgette (calabacín) 1 clove garlic, chopped 3 cups chicken or veg stock 1/2 diced green cabbage Handful of fresh or frozen green beans 1 Tbsp. tomato puree 1/2 tsp. dried basil 1/4 tsp. dried oregano salt and pepper In large saucepan, sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, sauté the carrot, onion, and

garlic over low heat until softened, for about 5 minutes. Add the stock, cabbage, beans, tomato puree, herbs, salt and pepper, and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer till the beans are tender. Add courgette and cook for a further 5 minutes. You can serve as it is or liquidise to make a smoother soup. Once you start cooking with spray oil and more vegetables then you will certainly be introducing a healthier lifestyle for you and your family without making a huge fuss.

Two Mouthwatering Recipies Courtesy of Mark from Casa Tres “Send me your feedback at: food@tenerifeweekly.es”

Home made Burgers with pepper sauce 500g Beef Mince 1 med onion finely chopped Chopped parsley or coriander Worcestershire sauce Salt Pepper 2 eggs 25g butter 1/4 small onion diced 12 Crushed black peppercorns 1/2 shot of Brandy A cup of Bisto .....YES I SAID BISTO 100 ml Double Cream. Mix the burger mix in a bowl and mould into shapes, 5oog of minced beef should yield 5 nice size burgers. I press them into a scone cutter to make sure they are even and so cook evenly NOW FOR THE BISTO............ Well lets be real who has time to brown

beef bones chop vegetables and cook a stock for 12 hours..... Hey BISTO !!! Please remember I am offering you recipes for your home not my restaurant So Melt the butter in a pot fry the onions and cracked black pepper without colour for a couple of minutes. (Mean while boil the kettle) Flame the brandy in the pot ( please be careful) Then mix some bisto as the instructions only slightly thicker add to the peppers, reduce for a minute add some double cream to finish the sauce. This sauce works equally well with all meats

Chicken a La king Chicken fillets Butter Diced Onion Diced Peppers Sliced Mushrooms Dry Sherry Chicken Veloute (Tin of chicken soup) Cream Here I go again making things easy for people on the run. The chicken soup makes this a very quick and one pot dish. Cut the chicken in to bite size pieces, Melt the butter in a pan and fry the chicken, Add the peppers, onions & mushrooms and cook until soft, Rinse the pan with dry sherry

Add chicken soup and cream and season with salt and pepper to taste . Serve over boiled rice.. Chicken veloute is a thicken chicken stock, Basic chicken stock thickened with a mix of melted butter and flour mixed to a paste.

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 TECHNOPHILE

Our Top 8 Tweaks and Apps for Windows Mobile

Windows Mobile phones are continuously growing in market share and every month cool and new phones are introduced with the Microsoft OS. We’ve set up a top 10 list of the most interesting tweaks and applications for your Windows Mobile phone. 1. SRS WOW HD audio This piece of freeware is an absolute must-have if you use your Windows Mobile device for listening to music. A common problem of ear plugs and built-in speakers is that they can’t manage to produce the full audio spectrum which results in the ‘shouldn’t there be a bass line in this song’syndrome. The SRS WOW HD software enhances your audio to make it sound best through the speaker or ear plugs. It doesn’t magically give you a full and rich bass but it does make sure you can actually hear it. You can slide some faders to set it up for your personal needs. Trial and error, but it really makes a hell of a difference! 2. TCPMP video player For watching movies, clips or recorded TV on your Windows Mobile phone TCPMP is the best video player out there. With a range of downloadable codecs (DivX, XviD, MPEG2) and smart technologies it gives you the best and smoothest video playback. Even with all the fury about the HTC video drivers (or the absence of them) you can easily watch a full movie without any frame skips. 3. MyMobiler A lot of the time you might have your Windows Mobile phone connected to your PC over the USB sync cable or have it docked in a cradle to charge and synchronise. MyMobiler is an application that needs to be installed on both your computer and your phone and lets you control your phone from your computer. As soon as you connect your phone you get a live screenshot of your phone on your computer display. You can use your computer mouse (both buttons and even the scroll wheel) and your computer keyboard to control your phone. You can even

BeoSound 5 Encore

setup MyMobiler to use your phone as a secondary display, so that if you move your mouse cursor to the border of your computer display the cursor continues to move over the screen of your phone. This way you can actually move a cursor on your smartphone with your computer mouse! It certainly makes sending a quick text message a lot faster. 4. PocketCM keyboard Text input is quite important on a mobile phone and if you own an all-touchscreen phone a good on-screen keyboard is no luxury. The PCM keyboard is very customizable with skin and layout files. The most popular skin is the iPhone look-a-like skin that shows a zoom of the letter you’re pressing just above your fingertip while pressing it. Don’t be afraid to open the .layout file in a text editor. You can play around with it to give the keyboard the best layout for your personal use. If you have trouble selecting the PCM keyboard as your default keyboard, use SIPChange to make it your default SIP (Soft Input Panel). 5. MoDaCo NoData It’s every traveller’s nightmare: taking a foreign trip, only to come home to a gigantic phone bill because your smartphone connects to the internet every 5 minutes to check for mail, RSS news items or weather updates. And data connections in another country can be pretty expensive. MoDaCo NoData lets you disable all data traffic without disabling the phone functions in a single tap. 6. Toggle Bluetooth CicleBT is an application that toggles your Bluetooth connection on or off. It’s very practical if you use Bluetooth in your car or somewhere else, but don’t want Bluetooth to be switched on all the time (for battery life of privacy reasons). You don’t have to dig deep into your phone to go to the connection manager, with a single run of this application and a notification alert of the current status it’s all done. With some smart tricks you can even use this application to let Bluetooth switch on when you

enter another application and switch off when you exit it. 7. Google Maps It’s probably useless to explain how extremely useful this application is. Google Maps for Windows Mobile can show the unbelievable possibilities of the combination of integrated GPS and an internet connection on you cell phone. Not just for finding directions but mainly for Google’s enormous database of address information. No matter where you are, type in ‘pizza’, or anything you feel like having, in the search box in Google Maps. You get an instant satellite/street image of your location and pin points of nearby search results. Several options? Tap on one of the pin points for more details and tap on the website link to see if you like the menu and the images of the interior. Good enough? Directly tap on the phone number in your Google Maps pin point to make a reservation and then let Google Maps calculate the fastest route to it. Even if you don’t have integrated GPS in your phone, it can still use a (much less accurate, +/- 1000 m) positioning by using relative distance to mobile towers. Google Maps Mobile is an absolute must-have and real example of technology in its most useful way. 8. SMS delivery notification fix Many mobile operators provide the service of an SMS delivery notification. You can enable these notifications in the settings of Messages to exactly know when an SMS message was delivered. This notification is sent as an SMS message and contains the phone number of the recipient, not the name. SMSDRFix is a small application that replaces phone numbers in delivery notifications to known names from your contacts. It also makes a separate item in the sound settings to change the notification sound to a custom sound so you don’t think you’ve gotten a new text message when in fact it was just a delivery notification.

Wiimote to Control Windows Media Players

The Danish company Bang & Olufsen has always been known for creating beautiful looking products. And the new BeoSound 5 Encore is no exception. That the company was founded in 1925 doesn’t mean they’re old fashion. The BeoSound 5 has a beautiful 10.4 inch display and loads of ways to connect your music to the device, whether it’s via an external harddrive, usb stick, bluetooth or streaming over the internet. The BeoSound wil play your tunes and make them look pretty. $3500 (approximately 2,700 Euros) is a steep price, but look how pretty is it! The remote control of the Nintendo Wii (Wiimote) uses Bluetooth technology to connect to the console. But with a Bluetooth USB Dongle for about 18 Euros you can just as easily make it interact with your PC. There are several free software solutions to put the Wiimote to action on your computer and BlueTunes is one of them.

Money Shredding Alarm Clock

“You snooze, you lose” and “time is money” all wrapped into one bedroom gadget. This American-designed alarm clock concept holds your money and starts

shredding them if you ignore the alarm. That will make you want to jump up in the morning! A word of warning though: EU law dictates that it’s illegal to destroy money and you could risk a month imprisonment and/or a fine. A prospect to keep in mind, if you decide shredding your euro notes is worth the extra 5 minutes sleep.

It lets you control Windows Media Player, iTunes, Winamp or Napster with the buttons and even the motion sense of the Wiimote. Downloads, install and user manuals are available at the BlueTunes website (http:// home.comcast.net/~bluetunes). The image above shows the default control settings.

Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your mobile phone. Hold your phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button on the car’s rem ote control, holding it near t h e mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you! Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and, if you can reach someone who has the other “remote” for your car, you can unlock the doors. How handy could that be!

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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Villa in San Isidro To Let 4 bedrooms - one en suite, Surrounding gardens, Drive way to the house, Open garage for two cars, 10 minutes from south airport, Totally secure pool with outside bar and purpose built BBQ

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• Situations Vacant Established Marketing Company in Torviscas Alto is looking for Romanian, Slovakian, Czech, Polish and Bulgarian staff with some spoken English to work in marketing office. Must be self-motivated and work as a team Some computer knowledge an advantage. Basic wage and excellent commission Tel Sue on: 922 713 070 or 686 154 066 Or email your C.V. to: suecampbell@regencyresorts.com

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Regency Resorts is one of Europe’s largest and most successful companies. They are looking for experienced Sales executives for their clients. You must speak English and have a positive attitude and be willing to work hard. Top commissions, high spiffs and quick payouts.

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Teka cooking hob 2 gas and 2 electric rings €45. Wind surf board Starlight F2 no sail, €65 Wave Minstral 265 wind surf board no sail, €65 Tecno pro surfboard €10 21 inch television, silver with remote, €30. Television wall/ceiling heavy duty frame for 33 inch TV, new, ideal for bar €20 None folding wheelchair, light aluminium quick removable wheels, €150 Corner unit dark wood, cupboard and shelves, 1.8 mt high €65 Peg-Pergo detachable Car seat and base, 0 to 9months €40. Childs car seat up to 9 months €20 HESBA, pram push chair, four wheeled sprung, detachable body, adjustable handle, collapses flat, with hood and apron, €45. Silencio tel 629570945 5 string banjo. Quality professional instrument. Complete with hard case and strap. Ozark 214G model. RRP over £700. Excellent condition and tone. €300 ONO 638 448 556

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MOTORING/DIY

Renault’s Tiny Twizy - 7,500€ - 8,000€

The Renault Twizy is not a conventional car. It’s actually difficult to describe it as a car, more a four-wheel alternative form of transport for the city dweller. Renault describes it as ‘intriguing’, but that’s something of an understatement for something that looks like it is still in concept form. Indeed the in-line seating, where the passenger sits behind the driver rather than alongside, prompts quizzical looks from passers-by. The electric Twizy is not some pie-in-thesky idea, however. It is, according to Renault, a practical solution for those who need an affordable vehicle that’s clean, easy to park, cheap to run and low on emissions. It is cheap to buy but you do have to rent the battery on a lease basis between one and four years, depending on your personal preference. It has a fully electric drivetrain and the lithium-ion batteries that supply the electric motor can be recharged from the household mains via a plug. A full charge takes threeand-a-half hours and that’ll give the Twizy a 60-mile range. Cleaning roller sleeves and trays thoroughly after use doesn’t take long and will prolong their life. This guide shows you how to clean out rollers and trays that have been used for water based paints such as emulsion or acrylic. Cleaning roller sleeves that have been used with solvent paints is time consuming and often not cost effective. The amount of white spirit and brush cleaner used each time is likely to outweigh the cost of the roller sleeve as these are now relatively cheap to buy. On top of that there is the environmental consideration when disposing of these chemicals. Although it’s tempting to put rollers and brushes to one side for cleaning later it really is best to do the job as soon as you’ve finished painting. The quicker they are cleaned, the easier it is.

1. As soon as you finish painting, return any unused paint to the original container unless it has become contaminated. Use a brush to feed the paint back into the tub then replace the lid.

Electricity costs should be minimal and because of the Twizy’s all-electric powertrain. As a mode of transport for people living in the city, it could well be a realistic choice in the future, but for those i n rural areas where there is an absence of local charging points it’s of little use. Those who do opt for a Renault Twizy have a number of options in terms of accessories and equipment. It comes in three trim levels: Urban, Colour and Technic and they are priced within 900 Euros of each other. Standard equipment on all versions includes 13-inch wheels, two gloveboxes -

one of which is lockable - and an on-board computer that, among other things, will tell you how much charge you have left. There’s also a choice of three base colours: black, grey or white, which can be combined with blue, green or orange for the roof and side panels. If you step up from Urban to Colour you get interior decals, colour-coded upholstery, white wheel trims and carpet mats. Go for the top-of-the-range Technic and you’ll get diamond-effect alloy wheels, metallic paint, a carbon-look roof, carbon-look decals and white-front seat shell. In terms of choice, the entry level Urban is good enough, unless you are insistent that your Renault Twizy has metallic paint.

2. Run cold water over the tray and rinse away the worst of the paint. 3. Then, with cold water still running over the tray, use a scrubbing brush to remove the more stubborn paint. Using a circular motion you’ll find the residue comes away quite easily. 4. Give the tray a final rinse once all the paint has been removed and dry it with an old rag. Then store it away for later use. Cleaning the Roller 5. Work the roller over a scrap board to re-

Performance Handling Safety & Reliability Safety Reliability Buying & Selling Buying new Buying used Selling Comfort Comfort Practicality Equipment Behind the wheel Costs Running costs Green credentials

Cleaning Paint Rollers and Trays Cleaning the Roller Tray

Driving & Performance

move as much of the paint as possible. 6. Holding the roller over the sink with water running, grip one end and slide your other hand down the sleeve quite tightly. This will remove a surprisingly large amount of excess paint.

7. Run the roller under the cold water for a minute or so and repeat the squeezing process above.

8. Now, part-fill the sink and work the roller back and forth in clean cold water. Repeat a couple of times.

9. Remove the roller sleeve from its frame and give the frame a thorough clean – use the scrubbing brush if needs be.

10. Work the pile of the roller sleeve with your hands while running it under cold water. Repeat this process until the water runs clear. 11. Place the sleeve back on the frame and spin it to remove some of the excess water. Do this in the garden where the water spray won’t matter. 12. When storing rollers, hang them so that the sleeve is not touching anything and it is left to air.

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53 St George´s Day Weekend Sunday 22nd April Supporting Help for Heroes www.tenerifeweekly.es

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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The action takes place on Sunday 22nd April at VIVO Treasure Island, Las Americas. Starting at 1pm. Live entertainment will include; Pip Brown, Indianna, Michael J Grant, Scotty T, Luke Carey, Gavin Allen, Willy Ray and Les Budd. Prior to the afternoon event a “Falklands Style” sponsored YOMP will take place commencing at 11am from Palm Mar. There will be a Crazy Golf competition and kids park. There will also be stalls with quality products from, Boots, Maybelline, Rimmel, Urban Decay plus other leading brands. Last year´s event for Help for Heroes raised a little over € 1,250 which we hope to better... So if you are interested in offering your support, prize donation for the raffle or participating in the YOMP please contact Barry on 679 660 245 The VIVO venue is an ideal setting for the event, with plenty of free parking.

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sport

CD Tenerife’s Tébar Sacked

The president of CD Tenerife, Miguel Concepción, has introduced the new first team coach, the third of this season. Quique Medina takes on the responsibility of leading the Second Division team. “We have taken a downturn, the former leadership was impossible and we had to react,” said the president. On Tébar, the president stated, “I think what condemned Tébar were the things said publicly, which should have been saved for the locker room, and that broke the group’s trust.” On Medina, the president stated, “We’ve come up with an in-house man to take over the team. Quique is a professional who is devoted heart and soul to achieve the objective of promotion” Regarding his own future, Concepción remarked, “I’m not one to neglect the amount of mistakes made in these last two years, but I will not leave. I have strength to keep going. I respect the opinion of some fans, but Miguel Concepción is the one that is to leave the club. “ Manolo Sánchez has moved to the technical department of the club with Peter Lamb. Quique Medina´s number 2 is Roberto Perera. “It is vital the union of the whole block to achieve the goal of promotion. The players, who I have known well since

Miguel Concepcion and Quique Medina

their youth, have doors open”, Said Concepción. Manager, Peter Lamb, stated, “The past is past. We have to start from scratch, this template is competitive erosion. We are on track for promotion. We will fight with great strength. We are just a point off second place.“ The new line-up: Coach: Quique Medina First team coach: Roberto Perera First team fitness coach: William Rodriguez Technical Secretary: Manolo Sánchez First coach of Tenerife B: Sesé Rivero Next Fixture: CD Tenerife v Lugo When: 15th April Location: Heliodoro Stadium, Santa Cruz Huge game as CD Tenerife take on Lugo to try to clinch a promotion playoff spot. Kick off at noon, with a 10,000 plus crowd expected.

Don’t forget this Sunday 4 pm see us at BAR NAUTA for THE WILD BULL COAST FM Singles Darts Competition with Live Radio coverage from Coast FM Please be early to ensure you are registered. Played in 3 categories 1st/2nd division & Ladies. It’s FREE to enter for all league players. Guests / Non league players are welcome

This week sees Meigas at the top of Division 1 with a game in hand and Chipeque Nomads currently leading Division 2 Congratulations to Nathan from Our Place B who threw a 180, always nice to get one in a league game rather than on the practice board as it goes towards the trophy at the end of the season for our new readers.

F1 Teams have final say on Bahrain

F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has pledged that the 2012 teams can decide for themselves whether to race in Bahrain at the end of the month. Last year’s race, scheduled to be the 2011-opener, was cancelled after prolonged anti-government demonstrations and this year’s race has been cast in doubt following a fresh outbreak of unrest in kingdom state. Responding to the speculation, Ecclestone has insisted that the teams will be given the final say on whether or not to travel for the scheduled 22nd April event. “We’ve no way

we can force people to go there,” said Ecclestone. “We can’t say ‘you’ve got to go’ - although they would be in breach of their agreement with us if they didn’t go but it doesn’t help. “Commercially they have to go, but whether they decide to or not is up to them.

Lewis swaps RFL for SW19

The Rugby Football League has announced their chairman Richard Lewis will leave his post at the end of April to become chief executive of the All England Club, Wimbledon. Former Davis Cup player Lewis, who has been with the RFL just short of 10 years, will take over from Ian Ritchie, who left Wimbledon in December to take up the role of chief executive of the Rugby Football Union. “I leave with a mixture of sadness but also excitement at taking up another wonderful opportunity,” said Lewis.

Coast FM

to compete with the first division players and pay 5 Euros entrance fee. As well as playing for the Singles Trophy there are 2 draws for “tournament prizes” in each category. This competition sees the first for a player who wins a voucher of 30 Euro to spend in the bar that is also drawn. Prizes donated by the

1st Division

I’ve had no-one say anything other than ‘we’re going to be racing in Bahrain’. We’ve an agreement with the FIA that Bahrain is a round of the world championship, and we’ve a contract with the promoters, but I want to make clear it’s nothing to do with finance.”

Lewis reached a career-high world ranking of 68 and played in the Davis Cup from 1977-83 before moving into coaching, sports administration and business consultancy. He will continue in his position of chair of Sport England, a role he took up on a parttime basis when switching from the post of executive chairman of the RFL three years ago. Lewis was director of tennis at the LTA from 1998-2000 and joined the RFL in May 2002. Sunday 8th April Results Division 1 Target A

THE WILD BULL COAST FM

Apolo

8:0

Our Place A

Rood

-:-

Los halcones

Belgian Beer Bar

-:-

Darts league on this occaMeigas Target B sion anyone who wishes to Our Place B sponsor any of the future Cosy Wanderers Open Date Chipeque tournament prizes please feel free to contact us. Division 2 Don’t hesitate to contact Beesnees Chipeque Nomads us if you want any kind of El Candil de Abuela Cosy Cabrons information. Call 696 792 794 or send us an email: raf.vandenberghe@ jarani2003.e.telefonica.net

8:0 4:4

2:6 4:4

Malabar

Beesnees Hunnies

3:5

Legends

La Central

3:5

Nifty Nauta

Happy Gavines

1:7

2nd Division

Rank

Team

Played

Points

Rank

Meigas

Target A

Our Place B

Cozy Wanderers

Our Place A

Rood

Target B

Chipeque

Apolo

Los Halcones

Belgian Beer Bar

Team

Played

Points

Chipeque Nomads

La Central

Beesnees

Legends

Happy Gavines

El Candil de Abuela

Beesnees´Hunnies

Malabar

Cosy Cabrons

Nifty Nauta

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Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012 SPORT

THE SPORTS SCENE WITH PETER QUILTY

SPONSORED BY THE BUZZIN OF CALLAO SALVAJE FOR ALL THE BEST IN SPORT Hi Everyone, I write this week’s Sport Scene from a rather damp Sedgefield in Co Durham this week; and as I write with last week’s opening statement in mind I watched as the Italian Nutcase hit the headlines yet again. I did actually watch the highlights of the City game and why oh why does his manager, his teammates and most of all Man City owners put up with the continued outrageous behaviour of Mario Balotelli. Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has warned Mario Balotelli that his career could end prematurely unless he changes his behaviour. The 21-year-old was sent-off for the third time this season on Sunday as City lost 1-0 at Arsenal.City now trail Manchester United by eight points, but Balotelli is the man hitting the headlines for his indiscipline. Mancini admitted after the match at the Emirates Stadium that he would ‘probably’ sell Balotelli - who is now likely to be suspended for the remainder of the season and the Italian tactician genuinely feels Balotelli could fritter his career away, with both his on-field and off-field issues. I mentioned last week his infamous T/Shirt “Why Always Me” and Sunday’s t-shirt apparently bore the slogan “YOLO” - You Only Live Once - although in strictly footballing terms he lived twice in a game settled deservedly in Arsenal’s favour by Mikel Arteta’s majestic late strike. Balotelli was fortunate that referee, Martin Atkinson, was unsighted for a first-half challenge on Alex Song that ran the serious risk of a broken leg for Arsenal’s midfield man - but he was not to be denied, and subsequently played in a manner that made his eventual red card predictable. After kicking a goalpost in fury after missing a chance, Balotelli set about Bacary Sagna on more than one occasion before a needless late lunge on the same player brought his dismissal. In the wider context, Mancini’s handling of Balotelli may also be taken into consideration by City’s Abu Dhabi rulers, with chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak sternfaced at the final whistle; when they review a campaign that now looks certain to finish empty-handed. Mancini invested his reputation as well as £23m to bring Balotelli to City in August 2010. I can see this ending in tears for him, because all he’s done now is made himself a target for every team. They’re going to wind him up like mad now and I can see him taking the

bait. Get rid back to Italy. Talking about nutcases; I went out for a pint with my son, Sean, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when we saw the idiot in the Thames during the Boat Race. We all have the right to protest but what would have happened if they had have hit him with the oars, knocked him unconscious and he drowned? While Oldfield might deplore the high-

profile event and deep affection in which it is held by the British public, his protest was misplaced. It was all about egotistical publicity-seeking. Unfortunately, the headlines yesterday and today will be giving him great pleasure. Oldfield may well not appreciate how dangerous his actions were – not only for himself, but also for the competing athletes, stretched as they were to the very extremes of their strength. The sharpedged, fast-moving blades could have killed him. Or he could have been consumed by the propellers, drag and turbulence caused by the following flotilla of launches. Only the quick thinking of the very people whom he sought to punish saved him. The rowers avoided hitting him with their oars and the launches stopped in time to pull him, smirking idiotically, from the muddy waters. The sad truth is that the ultimate legacy of his protest will not be to promote his political views, but to fuel copycat incidents, and increase the likelihood of society becoming ever more security-obsessed and restricted, while leaving us less open, less free and less at ease with ourselves and with the 2012 Olympics just 4 months away, how many more oddballs are out there, I hate to think!! But on a lighter note it was fantastic to see our Cyclists in Melbourne with some fantastic races between Kenny and Hoy.

Sir Chris Hoy sent out an ominous warning to his rivals ahead of the London Olympic Games with an astonishing keirin victory on the final day of the Track Cycling World

Championships. There was an audible gasp from onlookers at the Hisense Arena as Hoy won his fourth world keirin gold with a manoeuvre which astounded and demonstrated nothing can be ruled out as far as the four-time Olympic champion is concerned. Hoy, the 2007, 2008 and 2010 world champion and Olympic champion in Beijing in the event which begins behind a motorised Derny bike, appeared to be boxed in on the final bend, but accelerated as a gap opened up between Germany’s Maximilian Levy and Simon van Velthooven of New Zealand before lunging for the line. Hoy, accustomed to leading from the front, punched the air with delight, but an 11th World Championships gold medal of his distinguished career was confirmed only after a photo finish. Levy was second and, after the officials relegated Van Velthooven from third place for an infringement, Jason Kenny claimed Bronze. The next time we see Great Britain’s track cyclists in action will be inside the Olympic Velodrome at London 2012. There are no more chances left. The World Championships in Melbourne, which ended on Sunday, were the last opportunity for riders to stake a claim for Olympic selection or gain a psychological advantage over their rivals. Sir Chris Hoy, Jason Kenny, Victoria Pendleton, Laura Trott and others can expect the nation’s attention when they ride at the Games. But who will be the stars, can’t wait.

On Sunday night I watched the final holes at the Masters on BBC 2. What a finish, with a leftie winning it (just like me), Watson, playing alongside Oosthuizen in the penultimate group, fired four birdies in a row from the 13th to join the 2010 Open champion on 10 under, but missed a birdie putt to win in regulation. Having both parred the first extra hole, Watson, who lost a play-off for the PGA Championship in 2010, looked to be in trou-

ble when he found trees off the 10th tee. But while Oosthuizen was unable to find the putting surface with his second, Watson pulled out an extravagant hook to find the centre of the green. And what a shot that was. The emotional Watson broke down in tears as the final putt dropped before embracing his caddie and mother, followed by friends, including fellow PGA Tour players Rickie Fowler and Ben Crane. Watson’s previous best major placing was finishing as runner-up to Germany’s Martin Kaymer at the 2010 PGA Championship, after losing a play-off. He becomes the eighth consecutive firsttime major winner and he will move up to fourth in the world rankings. England’s Lee Westwood shot 68 to climb into a tie for third on eight under, with Americans Phil Mickelson (72) (yes another leftie) and Matt Kuchar (69) and Sweden’s Peter Hanson (73), the overnight leader. Three-time champion Mickelson began the day one adrift of playing partner Hanson in the final group and was expected to mount a trademark charge. But he made a triplebogey six on the short fourth after hitting his tee shot into bamboo to the left of the green and was unable to match the backnine fireworks of Saturday or 2010. England’s Ian Poulter (69) finished seventh on five under, while Australian Adam Scott, last year’s runner-up, carded a 66 that included a hole in one on the 16th to finish four under. England’s Justin Rose (68) and Ireland’s Padraig Harrington (72) finished alongside Scott in a tie for eighth. Tiger Woods (74) and Rory McIlroy (76) both ended disappointing weeks tied on five over after beginning as pre-tournament favourites. World number one Luke Donald carded 68, his first under-par round of the week, to finish three over. I´m looking forward to the rest of the coming golf season. So that’s about it for from me, I will give out the scores of the boys when I get back, until then enjoy your Tenerife Weekly.

Tenerife Weekly - 13th April - 19th April 2012

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