Tenerife Weekly Issue 29 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly TENERIFE’S LOCAL FREE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

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Popular Party Left “Isolated” Over State Budget

THE ruling Popular Party (PP) is facing a possible wrestling match with some of the country’s regions over the budget cuts for this year, and has made it known it will make use of its absolute majority in Congress and its control of most regional administrations to push through with its reform and austerity agenda. The draft state budget includes savings of 27 billion euros to trim the budget deficit from 8.5 per cent of GDP to 5.3 per cent this year, but what has riled some regional nationalist parties most is the imposition of cutbacks worth 10 billion euros in health

Calders Confessions Page 43

and education, areas which are run by the regions. In a tirade that stood out for its vehemence, Finance Minister Cristóbal Montoro (pictured) laid into the nationalist parties, accusing them of going “against the tide of global political ideas” and of having an “isolated and partial vision” of reality. “You have to stop navel gazing,” he said. The budget passed its first major hurdle in Congress last week after lawmakers rejected motions to have it thrown back in its entirety to the government.

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27th April - 3rd May 2012

Issue 29

A big thank you

to everyone who gave SO generously at our fund raising event last week.

See centre pages for details

Sharples In Session

Page 53

Coast FM 106.6 South, 92.2 West, 89.4 North

CONTENTS

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 editorial & legal LOCAL NEWS 3 BUSINESS NEWS 11 WORLD NEWS 12 IRISH NEWS 14 NATIONAL NEWS 16 TV GUIDE 19 HELP FOR HEROES 28 36 OUT ON THE TOWN TIME OUT 37 COMMUNITY 39 40 HEALTH/BEAUTY/FASHION

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42 WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE? 43 CALDERS CONFESSIONS 44 PHYCHE/HOROSCOPES PETS’ PAGE 45 46 GARDENING/LOCAL INFO FOOD 48 TECHNOPHILE 49 CLASSIFIED SECTION 50 52 MOTORING 53 SHARPLES IN SESSION SPORT 54

Editorial

Hello reader, We had a fantastic response to our fund raising efforts in Vivo Treasure Island last week. Everyone at Tenerife Weekly, Coast FM and Vivo would like to thank all the people who took part; we particularly want to give a massive thumb’s up to all those who donated their hard-earned cash to the Help for Heroes charity. Check out the centre pages to see some of the revelry. Talking of charity efforts, the excellent Tenerife Sur Lions have been presenting their latest initiatives. This is a massively important charity, both here and worldwide; with many, many people benefiting from their efforts. Give generously, folks! Spanish debt seems to be the buzz in the EU again this week. At least this time we have someone in the know

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Well the response to the competition is getting bigger. All the names were put into the draw and we got Sharon to pick out a winner. So congratulations go to Steve White as winner of the issue 28 competition for finding Wee Keeley on page 48. He has been booked in to see the Decades Goes To Hollywood Dinner Show this weekend. So here we go again, Wee Keeley has been on the move. If you can spot where he is hiding this week then call our office on 922 790 388 and tell us where he is.

(European Central Bank President, Mario Draghi) who’s not all doom and gloom. He says that we may be on the right track for recovery. This is a U-turn for the European Central Bank, but it must mean that something’s finally going our way. One can only hope. On a personal note, some friends of mind recently came over to Tenerife for the first time, with the firm conviction that they were not going to stay in their hotel, but would travel the island as much as possible in their short time here. I was gleaming with pride when they gave me their report on the beach in Las Teresitas. “The most beautiful beach we’ve ever seen”, was one of the statements. Praise indeed from such seasoned travellers. Be proud of the beauty that surrounds us every day, here on our little island paradise. Until next time, cuídate.

Colin Taylor.

Then on Wednesday the winning name will be drawn and the lucky winner will be given 2 free tickets for that weekends Decades Goes To Hollywood Dinner Show... Happy searching.

Colin Taylor.

The travel company helping you enjoy more for less !

Tel : +34 922 751867 EXT1 E-mail : info@tenerifesunshine.com

A brief shower

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Editor in Chief

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Leah Farrell Stephen Eade Editor Colin Taylor editor@tenerifeweekly.es

Tenerife Weekly

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While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make. The opinion of the owners or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors. The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Editor.

Contributors Carlos Hernández Michael Rhodes Dave Michaels Phil West Janet Anscombe John Sharples Gordon King

Ken Cumming Liana Mẽ aly ah Pete Quilty Karen Clack Ray Wilde Steph Tufft

Sales

922 790 388 sales@tenerifeweekly.es Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

Disclaimer While we strive to bring you a quality newspaper Tenerife Weekly cannot be held responsible for the print quality of this publication. The responsibility for print quality lies directly with our printers (TF Print, SL.) Please be aware that advertising in Tenerife Weekly will require you to sign a declaration agreeing to this disclaimer.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Care Modernisation Plan Goes Into Action The Social and Geriatric Care Institute (IASS) of Tenerife has launched a modernisation plan in order to improve the working environment of employees; through the development of different techniques to improve the efficiency of its human resources, and improving the quality of care of its infirm residents. This policy of modernisation will be accomplished through

programs and activities that promote accountability, participation and involvement of all people responsible for achieving the ultimate goal, which is to modernise the public administration to provide quality services to citizens. The plan entails, among other things, human resources training in communication skills, assertiveness, listening, developing empathy and trust. Training will also be given in

social and emotional skills aimed at workers who perform their work in the institute. Throughout 2012 there will be activities aimed at developing communication skills, listening, behaviour change techniques, conciliation of family life and working life, enhancing internal and external communication, to increase achievement motivation, and efficiency in service delivery and quality and level of perception by the patients.

An Appeal: Local Dog Shelter Needs You Help

Government Lauded Over Austerity Reform Drive

European Central Bank President Mario Draghi on Wednesday praised the efforts of the Spanish government to get its finances back in shape, but was cold about the idea of reactivating purchases of sovereign debt. “Remarkable progress has been achieved and is being achieved,” Draghi said in the European Parliament. “We have no reason to doubt the absolute commitment of the Spanish government to undertake the necessary reforms. From this viewpoint, I think, the whole union is close to Spain and certainly the ECB,” he added. Draghi’s remarks are in contrast to earlier comments in which he suggested that Spanish sovereign debt had come under renewed pressure because the markets wanted more progress on the reform front.

The ECB chief let it be understood that the bank had done enough for eurozone governments with its extraordinary injection of longterm liquidity and its Securities Market Program (SMP) under which it has bought Spanish and Italian government bonds to help calm the markets. This has bought time for

governments to push ahead with reforms. “Now the ball is entirely, squarely in the court of governments and banks,” Draghi said. “Governments and banks are giving some evidence that they are actually using this time in a productive way.” He also added that the Securities Market Program is “neither eternal nor infinite.”

Continued from page 1

But the PP had to rely on its absolute majority to do so as the main opposition Socialists and the nationalist groups all voted against the government. What you call isolation is an absolute majority. How many other governments can do this?” The motions filed by a number of different groups in the opposition were rejected by 182 votes to 156. The PP had been hoping to secure the support of the centre-right Catalan nationalist group CiU, with whom it is in a pact in Catalonia, but abandoned all hope of being able to do so before the vote. The CiU bristled at a budget that focused exclusively on austerity and lacked initiatives to promote economic growth, and also cut investment spending in Catalonia by 45 per cent. “It leads us down a dead-

end street,” CiU spokesman in Congress, Josep Antoni Lleida, said during the debate. Montoro indicated the PP was prepared to use the majority muscle to get its way. “What you call isolation is an absolute majority,” Montoro told reporters after the vote. “How many governments in Europe can act in isolation? The government in Spain can because it has the support based on the vote of 10.8 million people,” he added. Along the same lines, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy said: “I believe at this moment that it is important to highlight that the government has the capacity to take decisions which are good for Spain [although] the effects won’t materialize in the short term,” he said. Montoro said the PP was open to “dialogue” with other political

groups to reach “agreements” but only those that ensure the deficit target is reached. He reiterated his threat to take over the reins of the finances of any region that fails to toe the line on the deficit. The regional governments of Andalusia and the Basque Country have already announced they will not increase the number of pupils per classroom as called for in the reform of the education system. They have also rejected Madrid’s imposition of a 50-percent hike in university tuition fees. The premier of Galicia, Alberto Núñez Feijoo, who is a member of the PP, on Wednesday also said he would not impose the educational cutbacks as the region’s budget situation gave it enough margin not to have to do so.

The Adepac shelter in Ravelo (El Sauzal) currently has over 400 dogs on its books but is so hard up that it is asking members of the public and animal lovers to help out by providing food. The dogs need 140 kilos of food every day but the cost has become untenable for the shelter.

A spokeswoman said the current crisis is seeing more dogs abandoned by the owners, making the work done by the shelters even more urgent. Bank accounts have been opened in CajaCanarias and BBVA to help Adepac out and anyone wishing to donate food is asked to ring them on 669 767 448.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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New Teleférico Website Extracts From Speech By Foreign Goes Live Secretary William Hague On What A new website, www. teleferico-teide.com, is now available for the Teide cable car. It will, however, provide much more; including allowing visitors to make reservations and buy tickets online, as well as arranging permits to climb to the summit, including an overnight stay at the Altavista Refuge. In addition, it has heaps of information about all aspects of the national park; to make a visit as informed as it can be: with walking route guides, climate and botanical information, advice, webcams, an image gallery, etc.

The FCO Can Do For Brits Abroad

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Crew Rescued From Sinking Fishing Boat

The Canary Islands’ coastguard was alerted, on Wednesday, to an incident off the African coast; where a Canarian fishing vessel was sinking. All the crew, comprising of eight men in total, were reported as being in a safe and well condition. They were picked up by the Esperanza del Mar, which was in the area. The 18-metre boat suffered an,

as yet, unidentified mechanical problem, leaving it stranded and taking on a large amount of water. Another boat came to the rescue to try to staunch the flow, but to no avail; and the Nuevo Francisco Javier eventually sank off the coast of Mauritania. The boat was registered to a man in Gran Canaria. The fishermen were reported as being Mauritanian, Spanish and Moroccan.

If you are a British national and if you get into genuine difficulty abroad, you can turn to the Foreign Office for certain types of assistance. We help people who have lost their passports or need to find a doctor or legal advice, or who are struggling with bereavement in a country they don’t know well. Often the circumstances are tragic and upsetting: we help the parent whose child has been abducted by their former partner; the traumatised victim of rape; the devastated family whose son has committed suicide; the distraught boyfriend whose partner has been murdered; or the vulnerable girl or boy who has been forced into marriage against their will. But there are also cases where members of the public waste time and scarce resources with ludicrous requests. It is not our job, for example, to book you restaurants while you are on holiday. This is obvious, you may think. But nonetheless it came as a surprise to the caller in Spain who was having difficulty finding somewhere to have Christmas lunch. If like a man in Florida last year, you find ants in your holiday rental, we are not the people to ask for pest control advice. If you are having difficulty erecting a new chicken coop in your garden in Greece as someone else did, I am afraid that we cannot help you. So we ask British nationals to be responsible, to

be self-reliant and to take sensible precautions. We cannot emphasise enough the importance of good travel insurance. If you do find yourselves needing our help, we do ask British nationals to be prepared to pay for certain services; consular assistance is paid for from fees and not from taxation, and where we do charge a fee for a service, we only do so to cover our costs. In return, we maintain one of the most extensive and most effective consular networks of any country in the world

”

Consular Help Is At Hand, But Expats Can Self-Help Too Ambassador Giles Paxman spells out what British Consulates do and what British nationals can do for themselves Most of you reading this will never have come into contact with a British Consulate. In many ways, I hope you never do. But there’s no guarantee of that. It’s inevitable that with more than thirteen million British visitors to Spain annually, and an estimated 800,000 Britons who live here, every year there will be a few thousand who do need help – and that’s what we’re here for. The nine Consulates and 13 Honorary Consuls across Spain are part of one of the largest global consular networks of any country in the world. Whether you are in the Balearics or the Canaries, basking on the Costas or working in a provincial town or city, there is a representative of the Foreign Office somewhere not too far from you. And before you go anywhere, it’s easy to call us to see if we can resolve your enquiry straight away – in four out of five cases, we do. But sometimes it’s not so easy. I was very struck by the Foreign Secretary William Hague’s speech on consular services earlier this month. In it he said “Consular work is very personal. It touches the lives of British citizens in difficult and sometimes extreme circumstances”.

Indeed, the working day of consular staff is neither routine nor rosy. They are effectively an emergency service for Brits in distress, from lost passports to serious crime to death. The job of a consular officer is to provide impartial, nonjudgmental advice and to treat you fairly and equally, no matter who you are. Their work, and the sight of the Union Flag hanging outside the building, often make a huge difference to anyone who finds themselves in frightening and stressful circumstances.

There are many things that we can do: we will provide help if you are unfortunate enough to be the victim of a serious crime such as sexual assault. If you are injured and in hospital, we will visit you if there is a need. If you are arrested or detained, we will also visit you as soon as possible after arrest, if that is what you want. And if you are in prison, we will visit you to monitor your welfare, to help you understand the local legal and prison system, to put you in touch with support networks and to help you find an Englishspeaking lawyer. During the year 2010/11, our consulates in Spain handled the largest number of cases of any country in the world – almost 5000. We dealt with over 1700 arrests and more than 1000 hospitalisations, as well as assisting Britons involved in some of the most upsetting and unpleasant crimes - 19 reported cases of rape and 33 of sexual assault. Six of our offices - in Málaga, Alicante, Palma de Mallorca, Tenerife, Ibiza and Las Palmas - were in the top 10 British Consulates worldwide for the total number of assistance cases handled. But there are other things we cannot do. Almost two million people contact the Foreign Office worldwide for some form of consular assistance each year - that is more

than 37,000 people a week. With these vast numbers, you can understand that Consulates cannot give you money, make travel arrangements for you, pay your bills, arrange funerals or repatriate bodies. It wouldn’t be fair to give public money to those who fail to take out travel insurance when others show the good sense to buy a policy from their own pockets. We cannot override local authorities, such as police investigating crimes. And we cannot give you legal advice because our staff are not lawyers – although of course we can help find you an English-speaking one. Finally, although we cannot use public resources to resolve private property disputes, here in Spain we most certainly continue to lobby the Spanish authorities at every level to urge them to resolve the generic legal problems which are affecting thousands of British property owners. The British Embassy in Madrid is the only one in the world to have a full-time property adviser. Britons bought some 4,000 homes in Spain last year, down from a peak of 17,000 in 2007. We are working hard to get the message out about seeking independent, professional advice before buying in order to avoid a future generation of property problems.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Hinduism - An Alternative Way Of Life Jyoti Prakash Udhwani, Correspondant for the local Indian Community

Hinduism is the most pre-dominant religion of the Indian sub-continent, and is also one of the oldest religions of ancient histories; it includes a wide spectrum of laws and dogma of morality applicable in day to day experience, based on the notions of Karma, Dharma and Societal norms. Apart from Hinduism being the world´s third largest religion, it is also, as I earlier mentioned, the “oldest living major religion.” Hinduism owes its roots to historical Vedic religion of the Iron Age of India. Hinduism offers us principles applicable for our practical living experiences, great references of these contributions of this religion are available, to mention a few examples; The Bhagavad Geeta- which is not just a way of life but the main principle of life itself. In this world Men are in a situation just like Arjuna- the main protagonist of the Geeta, Materialism has reached a limit, there is an increasing gap between the rich and the poor, our developed societies are aspiring for happiness and the under developed society on the other hand for more resources- to meet up the demands of the ever growing world. Men must be intelligent to realise the importance of human life and should therefore refuse and refrain from acting inhumanely. A human being should realise the aim of his life, his mere existence, and this direction is given in all Vedic literatures, and the essence of which is given in- The Bhagavad Geeta- meaning the holy book of Geeta. In the Bhagavad Geeta it is clearly explained that there are three kinds of activities, according to the different modes of nature; the activities of goodness, of passion and of ignorance. In this material world we find that everything is temporary, it comes into being, stays for some time, produces some byproducts, dwindles and then vanishes. That is the law of the material world, whether we use the human body as an example, or a piece of fruit for that matter, which is equally perishable like the former. But beyond this temporary world there is another world- as the scientists claim, that this world, the Galaxy the Nine Planets and the whole Solar system evolved from a higher form of energy, if analysed further, this is what religion is trying to tell us time and again, only the presentation of reality may vary, but the whole idea is one, but the same. The crossroads of Geeta are very much

needed again, because it is not only a scripture for the Hindus but for the entire human race. Another famous contribution of India to the world is in the form of Yoga, which is actually known as union or joining- the union of the body, mind and spirit, the main goal of which is the attainment of a state of perfect spiritual insight and tranquillity through meditation. The Sanskrit word “yoga” has the literal meaning of “yoke” from the root word- yuj meaning to join, unite or attach. The science of yoga arrays us with a large range of benefits- from improving one’s health through the large number of assans and postures of the body and Moksha, which is the liberation from all worldly suffering and the cycle of birth and death, at which point where one reaches self-realisation and gets in contact with the Supreme Brahman. Now these are just some of the ways where we can apply the relevance of this colossal principle in our practical lives. There is a large list of masters, professionals and advocates, so to speak -who guide us on this light. One of these great advocates is Mr. Ram Vaidya, who is scheduled to visit our island on the 5th and 6th of May at the Indian Cultural Centre. Mr. Vaidya, who was Born in India in the city of Nagpur, has been a Swayamsevak or selfimposed ambassador since childhood, he has done a PhD in Samskrit , (Integral Humanism in Advaid Vedant and Jain Philosophy). Has been residing in the U.K. since 1999 as a Pracharak of Hindu Swayam sewak Sangh. Presently an International joint coordinator of the Vishwa Vibhag Sah Samyojak and has performed various Samskrit workshops , and is mainly interested in Youth activities, as the youth are always referred to as the future of our world, hope of our nations, tomorrow’s people and the new inspiration. Mr. Vaidya, is also graduated with merit in Sanskrit, Philosophy and Psychology, aside from having done Post- Graduation in Sanskrit,

with first lass distinction from the Nagpur University, and is also a three-time Gold Medalist. He has also toured many countries around the

world in the past including- France, Germany, Netherlands, Sweden and Kenya, to name a few; with the main aim of initiating innovative ideas in Sangh work, especially for youths.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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Tenerife Sur Lions visit Adeje Binmen Threaten the English Library Whilst many have heard of the “Lions” not many know much if anything about their activities; either locally or worldwide. Therefore when the English Library in Puerto de la Cruz invited Lions member Norman Goodall MBE to give a talk on the 12th April about the Tenerife Sur Lions Club it was an opportunity not only to mention the activities of the local club but also to present the whole scope of the Lions Organisation too. Supported by three other fellow members of the club and addressing an audience of about sixty people Norman spoke about the Lions International and the Tenerife Sur Lions Club activities in conjunction with an illustrative slide presentation.

Commencing the presentation Norman introduced the concept of the Lions Clubs and the International aspects of their work highlighting the “Site First” and

“Recycle for Sight” projects as well as the disaster relief, international peace and understanding and environment initiatives. Bringing the focus to the local community activities he related the past and ongoing projects of the Tenerife Sur Lions Club surprising the audience with some of the things the club had achieved. There was much amusement with the relaying of events of how an ex-RNLI lifeboat had been brought to the island and some amazement that such a small local club was able to operate two charity shops and provide year on year holidays for disabled and disadvantaged children both from and to the UK. Rounding off the presentation he touched on the social side of the club with its many events throughout the year, summing up with “it’s not all work and no play – we do enjoy ourselves as well” After a short formal time for questions there followed a buffet lunch generously provided by the English Library at which a certificate of appreciation was presented to Norman by Brian Arnold and where more general questions were raised with the other Lions members there. If there are any other groups or clubs who would like to know about the Lions and would benefit from a presentation then please contact Norman Goodall MBE on 629 487 090 or enquire through either of the Tenerife Sur Lions Charity shops in Costa Silencio and Los Cristianos.

Strike Action

Binmen and street cleaners in Adeje say they will take strike action if the council goes ahead with plans to eliminate Sunday and public holiday bonuses. Around 160 workers could be affected by the measure, which Adeje says is needed to help save one million euros and will avoid redundancies. The council insists the bonus is paid in respect of

Sunday and holiday shifts which were not envisaged in the initial contract signed with the firm that provides the service and the shifts can therefore be cut if necessary. However, the workers say the bonus accounts for up to 20% of their salary and they are not prepared to give it up. They have given advance warning of strike action, although no dates have been set yet.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 useful information

Probate

By Michael Rhodes In my last article, I explained the tax payable by a beneficiary when a person dies leaving assets in Spain. This time we will take this one stage further and look at what the beneficiary has to do, in order to claim his or her inheritance. Once it has been established that assets exist in Spain, registered in the name of the deceased person, it is necessary to establish who is entitled to those assets. Remember that under Spanish law, where property is held jointly, those assets do not pass to the survivor. In the absence of any indication to the contrary, joint owners are deemed to own property in equal shares and the deceased’s share will form part of his estate. The persons entitled to those assets will depend upon whether there is a valid Spanish Will. In all cases, this will be checked with the Central Spanish Wills Registry in Madrid. All Wills prepared by Notaries in Spain are required to be registered at the Central Wills Registry and this will show whether there such a Will has been made, and whether a Will has been superseded by a later one. If there is no Spanish Will, then an English Will is acceptable. Prior to being acceptable in Spain, the English Will needs to be admitted to Probate in England. This is the case even if there are no assets in England. The issue of the Grant of Probate in England satisfies the Spanish authorities that the English Will was the last Will made by the deceased and that it is a valid Will.

A court certified copy of the Will and Probate, will then need to be obtained, legalised at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, and officially translated into Spanish in order to be acceptable in Spain. It may be necessary also to obtain a certificate of law to confirm to the Spanish authorities that the provisions in the Will are not in conflict with English law or to explain certain phraseology used in the Will. If there is no Will of any kind, the position is more complicated; following court cases in England and Spain, it is generally accepted that the estate would be distributed in accordance with English law. This can have undesired consequences, as a spouse will only receive the first £125,000 of worldwide assets where there are children and a partner may receive nothing. The importance of making Wills cannot be overstressed! Once it has been established who the beneficiaries will be, the taxes need to be paid. These taxes have to be paid within

six months of the date of death to avoid surcharges (which can be significant) and interest becoming payable. The inheritance is then accepted by the signing of the relevant documentation at the Notary’s office by all of the beneficiaries. The assets declared in the deed will include all the assets in Spain registered in the name of the deceased, such as the share in any property, balances of bank accounts, car etc. Where there are a number of beneficiaries this is commonly done by giving the lawyer a power of attorney to sign on their behalf. Once the inheritance has been accepted, the assets can be registered in the names of the beneficiaries. In the case of property, this is done by presenting the Deed of Acceptance of the Inheritance at the Land Registry and paying the Registry charges. Registration will typically take a couple of months, but in the meantime the property can be put on the market if it is desired to sell.

In the past it has not been uncommon for the values for probate purposes to be declared on the low side. However, the Administración Tributaria are now looking closely at declared values and if they feel that the value is low they will issue an assessment for the extra tax. As this will almost certainly happen after the six month period during which the taxes are due, any claims for extra tax will bear a surcharge. Finally to clarify two questions I am regularly asked: 1. If you do not make a Will your assets do not pass to the State – they will be dealt with as explained above. 2. A spouse or other person cannot be appointed under a Power of Attorney to be used after your death. A Power of Attorney ceases on the death of the person making it, and the use in such circumstances is a criminal offence. Tel: (+34) 922 796 744 Web: www.tenerifelawyer.com Email: info@tenerifelawyer.com

How The Health Reforms Affect More Nuns Put Under Investigation Pensioners At The Pharmacy In Children-Snatching Scandal We now have more information on what pensioners will have to do when using the Spanish Health Centre. Pensioners who use any medicaments will have to pay 10% of their costs when they collect them from the pharmacy. The new legislation imposes a monthly limit on what they pay from 8 to 60 Euros, depending on their income, but whatever the income all pensioners will pay 10% and then the administration will calculate the refund which the Ministry of Health has six months to repay. Pensioners on noncontributory or minimum pensions continue not having to pay. The co-payment scheme also includes orthopaedics, splints, wheelchair hire, dietetic products and nonemergency ambulance transport.

Working people currently pay 40% of the cost of medicaments, and under the changes this remains only to those who earn less than 22,000 Euros a year. Wages up to 100,000 Euros will see a 50% co-payment, and above that 60% will be charged. The unemployed pay nothing. The new legislation for pensioners see them paying 10% to a maximum of 8 Euros a month if they earn less than 22,000 Euros. If they earn up to 100,000 Euros the limit goes to 18 Euros, and above that the limit is 60 Euros.

These limits are to be revised each year. Meanwhile, Spanish newspaper, El País, highlights the example of an illegal immigrant who arrives at hospital with tuberculosis. A patient with a health card would be sent to a specialist, but the illegal immigrant will be sent on his or her way, even though he is in an infectious state and is likely to spread the infection to others. The paper reports that the Ministry for Health has not resolved this in the legislation. Experts say they are worried about the risks.

More nuns from the Daughters of Charity order are under investigation for allegedly taking part in a stolen babies scheme at Madrid hospitals. Sister María Gómez Valbuena, now 80, was called before a judge on 13th April to answer charges that she stole an infant girl from a mother and gave her to another family in the early 1980s. She is the only person who has been officially charged in the on-going case, which has now grown to more than 1,500 complaints. Among the suspects is Sister Juana Alonso, now 97, who served as mother superior of the order at the Daughters of Charity convent in Tenerife from 1951 to 1970.

“If they called Sister María to testify as a defendant in the case, then with more reason they should call Sister Juana, who used to take babies between the peninsula and the Canaries,” says Liberia Hernández, who is accusing the nun of illegally putting her up for

adoption in 1962. Hernández claims that she was eight years old when she was given to the Alcoy family without her mother’s consent. The mother, who had seven children to care for, took the girl to the convent as a temporary measure.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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Tenerife Book Tops Amazon’s Travel Charts

Tenerife-based author, Joe Cawley, has hit the number one spot on Amazon UK with the Kindle version of his book, More Ketchup than Salsa: Confessions of a Tenerife Barman. He lives in the hills of Guia de Isora with his family and an assortment of other wildlife. Having first been published in 2006 by Summersdale Travel, the book was re-released on Kindle by Joe when he was reassigned all rights in 2011. Since its digital launch last year, the book has steadily climbed the charts, finally knocking Karl Pilkington & Ricky Gervais’s, An Idiot Abroad off the number one spot on Saturday 21st April. “Amazon updates the rankings every hour, so it might not stay there for that long,” says Joe, “But it’s still great to get Tenerife to number one.” It’s not the first time that More Ketchup than Salsa has gained widespread acclaim. In 2007 the paperback version was voted ‘Best Travel Narrative’ by the British Guild of Travel Writers. The book is a humorous account of swapping a career in fish entrails on Bolton market for a life as British bar owners in Tenerife. Having obtained 25 five-star reviews on Amazon, one reviewer described it as ‘Fantastic, hilarious, painful.

El Médano Resident Found Dead

The body of a woman, aged between 50 and 60, was found by Granadilla Policía Local in her home in Paseo del Atlántico in El Médano on Monday. Although initial investigations did not indicate any violence to her body, the Guardia Civil has not ruled out the possibility of foul play since the property was found in

significant disorder, as if someone had been searching for something. The family of the dead woman, who was known as Teresa, a well-liked local seamstress, had alerted the authorities that she had not been seen for a few days. Police are investigating the woman’s death..

Human Trafficking Gang Broken Up

Completely un-put-downable. Probably the best book I have read this millennium’. Joe is currently finishing work on a followup which he expects to be released early July. More Ketchup than Salsa is currently available on Kindle at Amazon. For iPad, PC and other digital editions, go to Smashwords.com You can keep up with the latest from Joe at www.joecawley.co.uk

The Policía Nacional and Guardia Civil, together with the UK Border Agency, have broken up a people-smuggling ring dedicated to getting Iranians into the UK via the Canaries. Twenty two individuals have been arrested, thirteen in Tenerife, six in Madrid, and three in Fuerteventura. Making the announcement, the Ministerio de Interior said that the group moved entire families at a cost of 20,000 Euros per person, less for children. In policies similar to airlines,

children under two travelled free. The families were hidden in buses or lorries to cross the Turkey-Greece border, or were provided with airline tickets based on false documents. The Canaries was an integral part of the route, and the immigrants, whom the traffickers called “animals, sheep or the herd”, were tutored in how to behave at the British border in order to acquire legal residence, most notably in how to allege fear of torture and persecution in Iran.

The Interior Ministry said that among those detained was the ringleader of the group; it confirmed that the operation began in February after an Iranian citizen was stopped in Tenerife trying to get on a flight to the UK with a fake French passport. Tenerife, indeed, was the headquarters of the group, which had members also in Iran, Greece, Germany and Sweden. All used a range of false identities, making the operation extremely complex, and the police’s success all the more notable.

Woman Arrested After Dead Baby Found

A woman of Chinese nationality was arrested last week in the town of Ingenio (Gran Canaria) on suspicion of the death of her (approximately) 15-day-old baby, whose body was found with signs of violence. It has been suggested that the mother suffered a depression that led her to commit the murder, a

fact which could not be corroborated as the Guardia Civil, in charge of the case, have not finished their investigations. A man reported that he had found the baby inside a backpack left in a greenhouse in the area. The mother was also in the greenhouse. Emergency services rushed the child to a

municipal health centre, but doctors could do nothing to save her life.

Annual Adeje Crafts Fair It’s now an annual event; and a big and popular one too: the Adeje Crafts Fair will be held in the Plaza de España between the Ayuntamiento and the church at the top of Calle Grande on the 19th and 20th May between 10am and 8pm. There will be loads of local arts and crafts, and foods, on display and for purchase, and there’ll be workshops too. These are always great fun, so definitely one not to be missed.

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Fuerteventura Casino is Opening In July

The date for the grand opening of the Gran Casino Antigua in Fuerteventura has been set as 1st July. The venture will create 49 jobs, including; croupiers, dealers in black jack and poker, etc. The project has seen investments totalling 2,446,000 Euros. Following the grand opening, the bodies behind the casino, Orenes & Canarios Automatic Group, will con-

tinue “apace” with works to adapt the Convention Centre in Hotel Elba Carlota into a large games room and recreation area. “We will be occupying our previous building, but everything is new,” pointed out a source from Canarios Automatic. Of the total budget for this year, 992,000 Euros will go towards the changes to the convention centre, 970,000 Euros to the installation of machines and

games, and 120,000 Euros to safety, among other expenses. In the first year of operation, both companies expect the Gran Casino Antigua Fuerteventura to have revenues of 7.5m Euros and a total of 47,450 visitors. Revenues come from the gaming tables (1,457,000 Euros) and the collection from machines (1,250,000 Euros), plus an estimate of 189,000 Euros in tips.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Ancient Find in Gran Canaria

An ancient pine wood beam found at Bocabarranco, in the municipality of Gáldar (Gran Canaria), has revealed for the first time that settlements on the northern coast of the island occurred in the seventh century and not between the twelfth and fourteenth as previously thought. The Head of Heritage Services for Gran Canaria’s Cabildo, José de León, explained that this is the

bottom hinge of a door of a house, found from a series of structures that have been discovered as work is carried out by building company, Tibicena. The City Council Heritage Advisor, Larry Álvarez, also emphasised the importance of the find. The age of the artefact was calculated using Carbon 14 dating in a laboratory in Florida. The excavation work will continue until June. Mr Álvarez also said that “we expect a new

contribution of 48,000 Euros to continue working in the area, as the technical scans show that there are more ancient homes to be investigated.” The head of Heritage Services explained that the structures located in Bocabarranco are cruciform, which are characteristic of the native Canarian houses. León is convinced that this area still has many things to discover under the banana plantations.

Woman Dies in Road Crash

A 50 year old woman died on Tuesday as a result of injuries sustained in a collision between a car and a truck. The collision occurred

at 07.52 on the TF-820, a hundred yards from the crossing for the beach at San Marcos in Icod de los Vinos. The woman died at the scene of the accident.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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local interest

The Municipality of San Cristóbal de La Laguna – Part 1 An Insightful Guide

Dear readers, welcome back to our journey across Tenerife. This week we visit the municipality of San Cristóbal de La Laguna (commonly known as La Laguna.) La Laguna is a city and municipality in the northern part of the island of Tenerife. The city is the third-most populous city of the archipelago and second-most populous city of the island. It is a suburban area of the city of Santa Cruz de Tenerife. La Laguna’s historical centre was declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 1999. Starting in 2003 the municipality started an ambitious Urban Plan to renew the area, which was carried out by AUC S.L. (Arquitectura Urbanismo y Cooperación). The city was the ancient capital of the Canary Islands. La Laguna is physically part of the city of Santa Cruz, as both cities and municipalities, form a single large urban centre, which is in the process of consolidating their union with other populations. It is the site of the University of La Laguna which is home to 30,000 students; these are not included in the population figures for the city. La Laguna is considered to be the cultural capital of the Canary Islands. Also the city is often referred to as the “City of the anticipated ones”, for having been the first university city of the archipelago. Its economy is business-oriented while agriculture dominates the north-eastern portion of the city. The urban area dominates the central and the southern parts. Tourism covers the northern coast. The main industry includes some manufacturing. The industrial area is made up of the main subdivisions of Majuelos, Las Torres de Taco, Las Mantecas and Las

Chumberas. In this city one finds the legendary house of Catalina Lercaro, as well as the incorrupt body of sister Sor María de Jesús, and the Christ of La Laguna (Cristo de La Laguna). Another emblematic building of the city is the Cathedral of La Laguna, which is the catholic cathedral of Tenerife and his diocese (Diocese of Tenerife). In 2010 after a survey, La Laguna was listed as the city with the best reputation

By Carlos Hernández

in the Canary Islands and the third nonprovincial capital city of Spain with the best reputation, just behind Gijón and Marbella. La Laguna is Tenerife’s second most important city and until 1723 was the capital of the island, situated just inland from Santa Cruz in the beautiful countryside of the Aguere Valley. It is also the cultural and religious capital, due to the fact that it is home to the San Fernando University and the Bishop’s Palace. The whole city is full

Cathedral of La Laguna

of outstanding architectural monuments, palaces and traditional houses of the 17th and 18th centuries. The intimacy of its plazas, the palm trees bordering its walks, the lagoon plains, the cool climate and the bustling heat of the student environment are characteristic. Catalina Lercaro Catalina Lercaro was an Italian-Canarian woman belonging to the family of Lercaro, renowned in the city of La Laguna. She lived there during the 16th century. The Lercaro were an important family of Genoese merchants, based in Tenerife after the conquest. Catalina, daughter of Antonio Lercaro, was forced to marry an older man, who enjoyed a good position and great wealth. This marriage of convenience did not please Catalina, who on her wedding day decided to kill herself by leaping into the pit which is located in the courtyard of his house-mansion (now the Museum of the History of Tenerife). Legend suggests that Catalina’s body is buried in one of the rooms in the house, because, having committed suicide, the Church was opposed to her receiving a Christian burial in a cemetery. These facts led th Lercaro family to move to live in La Orotava. Since then many people claim to have seen the spectre of Catalina Lercaro walking through the halls of the museum. Later in 1993 the manor house became the present Museum of History and Anthropology of Tenerife. Religious Buildings Among its religious buildings, the most impressive are the Catedral de Nuestra Señora de los Remedios (La Laguna’s Cathedral), Iglesia de Santo Domingo (the Saint Dominic Church) and Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de la Concepción (Church of Our Lady of the Conception) - the latter has a fine Mudéjar carved wooden ceiling and an exceptional Baroque wooden pulpit from the 18th century. You can also explore the Iglesia del Santo Cristo (Church of the Holy Christ) and Ermita de San Miguel (Saint Michael Chapel.)

Join me again next week for part 2

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 business news

Bank of Spain Confirms Spain Is Back In Recession

The Spanish economy shrunk by 0.4% of GDP in the first quarter of the year. The estimation published by the Bank of Spain means that Spain is officially back in recession, having seen two consecutive quarters of ‘negative growth’. Even before the growth numbers were issued the IBEX 35 was heading south, starting the week with a 3% fall and close to levels last seen in 2003. The Risk Premium is up above 430 points. The Bank of Spain says the reason for the slowdown is the fall in consumer spending, although it does note the rate of reduction has slowed down. Exterior demand was below that seen in the last quarter of 2011, resulting in a GDP down on a yearly basis by 0.5%.

The concern for the slowdown in the Chinese economy, and the political uncertainty in Europe has upset the European markets, all of which are down. It comes as the EU inspectors have given their verdict today on the validity of Spain’s accounts and the 2011 deficit, confirming the Government’s admission of a 2.5% shortfall on the target and the figure of 8.5% in 2011. It’s the third highest in the EU. The inspectors confirmed the debt rose from 61.2% to 68.5% of GDP last year. Any correction by Eurostat of the deficit, would have questioned the credibility of the Spanish statistics and that could have led to more attacks against Spain on the debt market, but at it is the EU is happy with Spain’s numbers.

Lotus Group Not For Sale

Arm Holdings Profits Up 22% Arm Holdings, which designs chips used in smartphones such as iPhones, has reported rising profits and revenues. The UK firm’s quarterly pretax profits rose 22% to £61.9m in the first three months of 2012 from last year. “As many aspects of our lives become digital, we continue to see an increase in the demand” for Arm’s products, the firm said. But shares fell 5% after it said next quarter’s sales from royalties would be “broadly flat”.

Arm, which makes most of its money in US dollars, increased dollar-denominated revenue by 13% to $209.4m in the quarter. From June, Microsoft will sell products with its Windows software on devices powered by Arm’s chip designs for the first time. In March, Arm unveiled what it called the “world’s most energy-efficient microprocessor” design, the Cortex -M0+ architecture. It said it has sold 10 Cortex-M class licences. “Whilst first-quarter

industry shipments declined sequentially, most analysts expect the industry to recover in the second half,” Arm said. The Cambridge-based firm said 1.1 billion chips it designed had been shipped in mobile phones and mobile computers, roughly the same as a year ago. It also signed 22 processor licences in the quarter.

Business Briefs

Spain has placed 1.933bn Euros in bonds this week, but found herself obliged to practically double the interest paid. The interest paid on the 3 month bonds went from 0.42% to 0.72% and the 6 month bond has gone from 0.868% to 1.628%. Demand was high at 9.438bn Euros. The size of the bond offered was lower than on previous occasions as the Treasury does not need liquidity at the moment. The Spanish Minister for Hacienda and Public Administrations, Cristóbal Montoro, has said ‘There are doubts about the financial viability of the regions and of corporations’. Montoro has been defending the ‘most austere budget’ in Congress where all the opposition parties, with the exception of FAC, UPN and Geroa Bia, have all presented amendments. The opposition parties have presented their arguments in the chamber, and many have criticised plans for a fiscal amnesty. The PP overall majority means that the budgets are bound to be passed. The Bank of Spain has made a call to complete the restructuring of the financial sector as soon as possible. The restructuring and the economic reforms are being seen as key to getting credit flowing again. Foreign Minister, José Manuel García Margallo, thinks that the Spanish economy will ‘timidly’ grow at the end of the summer in 2013. He said he was confident there would be a change of perception abroad and also affirmed that ‘austerity alone is not enough’. Margallo has been meeting with investors from the United States. Brussels has said that Argentina will suffer the consequences of their expropriation of YPF from Repsol for a long time. The European Trade Commissioner, Karel de Gucht, said that the EU would help Repsol to receive a ‘full compensation’. Meanwhile the Government has changed its strategy and is now happy to negotiate with Argentina. Minister for Industry, José Manuel Soria, appeared before the Industry Commission in Congress to explain the response to the expropriation. He said that the Government could continue with a ‘firm’ defence of Repsol, and would go to the international economic forums to ‘reach a just compensation’. The Minister revealed that during the negotiations the Argentine authorities went as far as asking to direct all the Repsol investments in Argentina. Soria said the Government was looking for the ‘best climate’ for talks, on the base of negotiations, the dialogue and consensus. It has emerged that the Spanish Government launched an offensive against the expropriation of YPF in February when several representatives went to Buenos Aires.

The owners of Lotus have said they have not decided to sell the Norfolk-based sports car maker. DRB-Hicom said it was currently undertaking an operations audit on Lotus, but did not know the source of speculation that it was selling the brand to China’s Youngman. It also denied that it would put Lotus in administration, following a similar denial by Lotus earlier this month.

Lotus is owned by Proton, a subsidiary of Malaysian group DRB-Hicom. In a statement, DRB-Hicom said that it was still supporting Lotus Group “both financially and managementwise”. It added: “As of today, DRB-Hicom has identified one of Proton’s senior management personnel to take up a position in Lotus Group in an effort to strengthen its management.”

Google is expected to shortly launch a major new consumer service offering cloud-based storage for photos and other online content. The effort dubbed Google Drive - is likely to offer 5GB (gigabytes) of free storage with more available for a monthly fee. It would challenge services including Dropbox and Microsoft’s SkyDrive. Experts suggest it could also force rival Facebook to enter the cloud market. Cloud services have become hugely popular as people seek to access content from a variety of places and devices. Reports suggest that Google Drive will work with sophisticated image search technology to let consumers sift through a wide variety of document types, including PDF files and photographs. Richard Edwards, principal analyst at research firm Ovum, thinks that it may act as a wake-up call to others. “Facebook doesn’t have a cloud service but this may prompt it into an acquisition,” he said. “If Facebook was to buy Dropbox that would be a game-changer.” Google was “very late to the market” he added. “I would see this as an extension to its Google Docs offering and it could provide value to its social network Google+, allowing the sharing of files that are too big to email.” The most important aspect of Google Drive

would be how it worked with the myriad of devices people carried, he suggested. “I will be looking to see how I can synchronise content stored in the cloud to all my devices to access as and when I want.” A recent study commissioned by cloud service RackSpace and conducted by Goldsmith University concluded that a new generation of Britons was growing up in the cloud. A quarter of the 2,000 interviewees estimated that they had £200 or more worth of music, videos, photos in their personal cloud. 31% said that they had considered digital possessions as a potential “digital inheritance” that they could leave behind when they died. In anticipation of Google’s announcement, rivals have updated their own services. Dropbox now allows users to give nonmembers access to files via emailed links. Until now it had required both parties to have signed up to its service and have shared folders. Microsoft has also improved its SkyDrive service. Among other features, it has integrated the drive into Windows Explorer and Apple’s Finder so that it works as an extension of the desktop. It also added capability to access files stored on the drive from an iPad as well as the iPhone and Windows Phone-based handsets.

Google Drive to Offer Free Storage in The Cloud

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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world news

“I’ve Never Asked A PM For Anything,” Says Murdoch Rupert Murdoch has told a media inquiry in London that he has never asked a prime minister “for anything”. Mr Murdoch began giving evidence at the Leveson Inquiry this week to confront charges that he used his clout to curry favour with a succession of British leaders, electrifying a media inquiry that has become increasingly damaging for the government. The 81-year-old media mogul appeared under oath at the Victorian gothic courtroom, watched by his son Lachlan and wife Wendi Deng. Some are expecting Mr Murdoch to come out fighting, having been on the back foot for almost a year over a newspaper phone hacking scandal. Asked whether he would ever have been “so undeft and cack-handed” as to ask a favour of then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher directly: “I hope not. I’ve never asked a prime minister for anything”. Papers released this year showed that he held a secret meeting with Ms Thatcher in 1981 to secure his acquisition of the Times of London. On discussions with Mrs Thatcher relating to his acquisition of the newspaper, he said: “I didn’t have the will to crush the unions. I might have had the desire, but that took several years. Mr Murdoch said he welcomed the inquiry: “The need [for this inquiry] is fairly obvious. There have been some abuses shown ... The state of the media in this country is of absolutely vital interest to all its citizens ...Frankly I

welcome the opportunity because I wanted to put some myths to bed.” An appearance by Mr Murdoch’s son James in a highly charged session yesterday revealed how a government minister had sought to help Mr Murdoch’s News Corp in an ultimately abortive takeover bid, a damaging admission for a government already seen as too close to the Murdochs. The revelation that Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, had sought to help the Murdochs in his business dealings go to the heart of the issue in Britain, that Mr Murdoch wields too much influence and that this resulted in a company culture that rode roughshod over rules and regulations. Mr Hunt briefed News Corp on the thinking of regulators and leaked confidential information, while at the same time acting for the government in deciding whether to approve the $12 billion deal. Allegations that the government had sought to help Mr Murdoch in his business dealings go to the heart of the issue in Britain, that Mr Murdoch wields too much influence and that this resulted in a company culture that rode roughshod over rules and regulations. The pressure on Mr Hunt dominated the local news agenda, with newspaper front pages declaring that the Murdochs had declared revenge on the government. The front page of the Guardian described Mr Hunt as the “Minister for Murdoch”. News Corp said it had been required by law to produce the email documents that

revealed the contact with Mr Hunt. Prime Minister, David Cameron, appointed judge Brian Leveson to examine Britain’s press standards after journalists at Mr Murdoch’s News of the World tabloid admitted widespread hacking into phones to generate exclusives. The revelations last July convulsed Mr Murdoch’s media empire, exposed the close ties between the upper echelons of Britain’s establishment and provoked a wave of public anger. Politicians who had previously courted the media owner lined up to condemn his involvement in Britain. US-based News Corp, owner of Fox Television and the Wall Street Journal, eventually pulled its bid to buy the 61 per cent of satellite broadcaster BSkyB that it did not already own after intense political and public pressure. Rupert Murdoch was the first newspaper

boss to visit Mr Cameron after he took office in 2010 - entering via the back door and politicians from all parties have lived in fear for decades of his press and what they might reveal about their personal lives.Mr Murdoch’s influence over prime ministers goes back decades. Tony Blair was godfather to one of Mr Murdoch’s daughters, Gordon Brown was a personal friend of the Australian-born businessman, and Mr Cameron employed as his personal spokesman a former Murdoch editor who was himself implicated in the hacking scandal. During a parliamentary hearing last year, memorable for the actions of a protester who hit Mr Murdoch in the face with a foam pie, he sat alongside James and spoke often in monosyllables, but on occasion hit the table with his fist in frustration at the line of questioning.

Elephant Kills Her Former Yahoo Boss And Keeper In Zoo Husband Agree $71m Divorce

A titanic five-year divorce battle between Susan Decker, the former president of internet giant Yahoo, and her investment banker husband has been settled in an agreement compared to the “The Treaty of Versailles.” The extraordinarily bitter break up of Silicon Valley power player Susan Decker, 49, and Michael Dovey, 52, led to the couple hurling allegations of infidelity, drug use and electronic bugging at each other. As they fought over their $71 million (53.8m Euros) fortune, comprised of mansions, stocks and cash, details of their lavish lifestyle were disclosed, including a $260,000 (197,000 Euros) golf club membership and a private jet account. The golden couple met while studying business administration at Harvard Business School and married in 1992. They had three children, now aged nine to 14, but their relationship soured and they filed for divorce in 2007. In the same year Miss Decker was promoted to president of Yahoo. She resigned in 2009 following a tumultuous period for the company. Mr Dovey had retired from banking in his 30s with a fortune of $13 million (9.8m Euros). According to court papers the couple’s assets included a $5 million (3.7m Euros) five-bedroom home in Belvedere, near San Francisco, one

of the most affluent enclaves in the United States. They also owned a $6 million (4.5m Euros) property in the Orange County resort of Laguna Beach, two skiing lodges worth $2 million (1.5m Euros) in Lake Tahoe, and a $1 million (750,000 Euros) parcel of land in the Napa Valley winemaking area. All were owned outright. The assets at stake also included two sailing boats, five motorcycles, season tickets for the San Francisco Giants baseball team and almost nine hours of private jet time. In 2009 an eight-page letter from Mr Dovey’s lawyers was leaked. In it Miss Decker was accused of extramarital affairs, drug use, and bugging the Laguna Beach home to spy on him. Her lawyers responded that the letter contained “reckless, highly inflammatory and inaccurate allegations.” As the mud-slinging continued Mr Dovey’s lawyers said Miss Decker’s side had similarly accused him of infidelity and drug use in an attempt to “impugn Mike’s character.” Mr Dovey’s lawyers also issued subpoenas to Yahoo demanding emails and records, and the company’s head of corporate security was among witnesses due to give evidence in court over the bugging claims. A 15-page settlement was concluded at the 11th hour as the case was finally

due to go to trial in California’s Marin County. Mauna Berkov, one of Mr Dovey’s lawyers, described the agreement to the judge as “the Treaty of Versailles.” Judge Verna Adams replied: “Should I wear a wig?” The judge said: “Congratulations. Today’s trial is vacated. They showed a lot of maturity and judgment to take their destiny into their own hands.” Miss Decker and Mr Dovey were not present in court. Under the agreement the homes in Belvedere and Laguna Beach, along with the $260,000 membership of Shady Canyon Golf Club, will be sold and the proceeds divided equally between them. The couple will also relinquish their memberships of various other clubs, including the San Francisco Yacht Club. They agreed to pay their own legal costs and set up a $2 million trust fund for their children. In a joint statement they said: “As in any acrimonious divorce, certain statements were made by the parties in the process of litigation that were reckless and inaccurate. We deeply regret this. We have three amazing children and we share the important task of raising them responsibly and lovingly. For their sake, we want to put this matter to rest once and for all and have settled all matters in this case.”

An elephant has killed a keeper caring for her at the New Zealand zoo where the animal was retired after performing in circuses for decades. Franklin Zoo near Auckland was open at the time but it was not clear whether any visitors saw the events unfold. Jumbo, also known as Mila, is the sole African el-

ephant at the Franklin Zoo. The 39-year-old elephant arrived four years ago after performing in circuses for 30 years. The zoo built a new enclosure for her in 2010. African elephants are the world’s largest land creatures. They can live for up to 70 years, tend to sleep very little, and eat up to 300lbs of food every day.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 world news

Yes, Yes, Yes! I Have Found MI6 Spy Death: ‘Mystery’ Third The G-Spot, Says Scientist Party’s DNA Found At Scene

Men and women have been trying to find it for centuries. Some doubt it even exists. But now a doctor claims to have found proof that the elusive G-spot is actually real. Dr Adam Ostrzenski, a gynaecologist, said he had confirmed the “anatomic existence” of the G-spot, which was just half the size of a fingernail. Writing in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Dr Ostrzenski of the Institute of Gynecology in St. Petersburg, Florida, said it was a “well-delineated sac structure” on the perineal membrane, precisely 8.1mm long and 3.6mm wide. He concluded: “This study confirmed the anatomic existence of the G-spot, which may lead to a better understanding and improvement of female

sexual function.” The G-spot was named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German gynaecologist who claimed to have discovered it in 1950. The theory has been maintained ever since by sex therapists, who have claimed some women need coaching to find it and experience the full pleasure of sex. Despite Dr Ostrzenski’s certainty, his finding is unlikely to be the final word on the matter. Earlier this year a rival medic, Dr Amichai Kilchevsky of the Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut, said after reviewing 100 studies that there was no conclusive evidence of its existence. He hoped it would take the pressure off men and women during sex. Professor Kevan Wylie, a sexual medicine consultant in Sheffield and associate

editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, said its existence could not be confirmed by a single post mortem. There were other theories that did not rely on the existence of the G-spot to explain female orgasms, he said. Others are disdainful of the continued fascination with female sexuality in general, and the G-spot in particular. Dr Petra Boynton, a lecturer in health services research at University College London, said: “We persistently try and make out there are unique parts of the female genitals that should or should not be stimulated to encourage orgasm. And we seem obsessed with proving or disproving that orgasms ‘happen’ in the G-spot - or not.”

Traces of someone else’s DNA were discovered near the body of MI6 spy Gareth Williams, who was found dead inside a travel bag, an inquest has heard. Two ‘minor components’ of genetic material were found on a fastener and padlock that secured Mr Williams’ body inside, a coroner was told. Det Ch Insp Jackie Sebire, the officer leading the investigation, said: ‘My thought or my opinion since I went into the scene is that a third party had been involved in the death or by putting the body in the bag.’ Mr Williams, a GCHQ code breaker, was on secondment to MI6 when his naked body was discovered in a holdall dumped in the bath of a central London safe house in 2010. Footage taken by police of the 31-yearold’s Pimlico flat showed bulges in the red North Face bag that contained his body. But there was no damage that would indicate a struggle by Mr Williams – who was a keen cyclist, said DCI Sebire. ‘He was very muscular, he trained regularly,’ she told Westminster coroner’s court.

‘It is only my opinion, but I would have expected some tearing to the netting. In my opinion he was very calm. His face was very calm. His hands were resting on his chest.’ The film also showed a red wig, lipstick and make-up – part of the £20,000 haul of designer women’s clothing and cosmetics discovered in ‘pristine’ condition at the flat. But Mr Williams’ childhood sweetheart Sian Jones insisted he was not a transvestite and would ‘most definitely’ have told her if he was. She claimed they were gifts, adding: ‘I think he would have confided in me.’ The hearing continues.

Murder Accused Joked About Killing Teenage Model

The son of a wealthy jeweller, who is accused of murdering his teenage girlfriend and getting help from his parents to cover it up, spoke to a friend about dousing her in petrol and setting her on fire. Elliot Turner, 20, also joked about simulating a drug overdose and getting Emily Longley, 17, so drunk she would choke on her own vomit, a court was told. He is alleged to have killed aspiring model Emily by strangling at his parents’ home in Dorset, England. They are accused of helping him to cover up the crime. Witness Tom Crowe told the Winchester Crown Court that Turner had asked him how he should kill Ms Longley, the Mail Online reported. “Elliot and me had gone to a local park and he was saying Emily had really done it this time and was seeing other blokes. He looked lively and was taking short paces. I said: ‘I wouldn’t know, I’m not a murderer’. He was coming up with ideas about whether he should set her on fire with petrol in his bedroom or drown her. My reaction was to think: ‘Christ, you’re nuts. That’s insane’. He also mentioned a drugs overdose or whether she would choke on her own vomit if she got really drunk.” The two friends then started play-wrestling and Mr Crowe tried to show him how wrestlers strangle each other on television. “He is very muscular, powerful and strong because he drinks protein shakes and goes to the gym. He took hold of me the same way and put a lot of pressure on my throat and I started to panic. I was struggling and said: ‘Can you get off’. I held my breath and tapped

him on the arm to let go.” Mr Crowe earlier told the court how on 30th April last year, Turner claimed he killed Ms Longley with a hammer. He said: “Elliot said he found out Emily was going to a nightclub on a date with another boy by looking through her Facebook and phone messages. “We drove there and on the way he was very angry and aggressive, banging the steering wheel and speeding. He had a hammer and said he was going to batter her and the boy to death with it. He put the hammer in his trousers and went in the club while I waited in his car. After three hours he came out and he was in tears and said he had done something awful. He said he had hit her six or seven times with the hammer and killed her. He was very convincing, I was in shock. He said he was going to hand himself in to police. We then picked up our friend and he told him the same story, but then he said ‘only joking’ and he stopped crying and was cheerful, jumping up and down. I was really annoyed with him because I thought he had actually killed her and had led me on.” Mr Crowe told the court he feared his close friend Turner was going to murder Emily during the hours before she died. That night he confided in Turner’s neighbour Harry Hawkins, 18, saying “I think Elliot might kill Emily.” Mr Crowe also revealed Turner had asked him to kill Emily with the hammer, but he had refused.

The three drove back to Turner’s home at about 12.50am on 7th May. He said: “Elliot and Emily went inside while I waited outside. After about 15 minutes Elliot rushed out with Emily’s mobile phone and was going through her text messages. There were messages from Louis Powell and Elliot was swearing lots. We then went inside and Emily was lying on the bed and Elliot discreetly put the phone back. They seemed happy and Elliot asked me to leave so I phoned for a taxi, said my goodbyes and waited outside. Then Elliot came out in a T-shirt and

boxer shorts to smoke a cigarette. He approached me and asked me to kill Emily. He said ‘I want you to kill her.’ He picked up the hammer and pushed it into my chest. I was shocked and told him I’m not doing it, no chance. Then Emily stuck her head out the door and shouted at Elliot ‘I hate you’ and tried to lock him out. She was telling him to f*** off. Elliot pushed his way back in and that was the last I saw of him. After a few minutes the bedroom lights went out. “In the minutes before, Harry

Hawkins, Elliot’s neighbour came out and I said to him ‘I think Elliot is going to kill Emily.’ I was scared for Emily and shocked but didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think he had the balls to do it. My taxi came and I got in, I was relieved to get away.” Emily, a student from Auckland, was found dead in Turner’s bed at the house in Bournemouth, Dorset, on 7th May last year. Winchester Crown Court heard Turner “flipped out” and killed her during a drunken argument. Jurors were told he had become increasingly suspicious she had been having affairs during their four month relationship. Emily changed her Facebook profile picture from one of them together during a three-week holiday to New Zealand in April. Turner then allegedly left a message on a friend’s voicemail saying: “She changed it to her flirting with some other lads and made me look like a nob.” The court heard Turner later threatened to kill the blonde teenager with a lump hammer and boasted to her “I will go to prison for it and still be a millionaire when I come out.” Turner allegedly even demonstrated on Mr Crowe how to strangle someone and applied so much pressure his friend could not breathe. After the murder Turner is said to have written a letter of confession but it was ruined with bleach by his father, Leigh Turner, 54 to “destroy vital evidence.” Turner was arrested following Emily’s death

but then released on bail. Jurors heard a police bug of the £350,000 Turner home in the affluent Queens Park area recorded the family talking about “fabricating evidence and being worried about lying to police”. The court was told that after the death, Turner’s mother, Anita, 51, removed from the house a coat her son had worn on the night of aspiring model Emily’s death. Police scans of computers seized from the home found Google searches for ‘death by strangulation’ and ‘how to get out of being charged for murder’. Officers made a series of recordings at the Turners’ home between 18th May and 14th June last year. They then arrested the three family members and charged them in July. The court heard pathologists who examined Emily’s body found injuries consistent with asphyxiation, Turner had scratches on his arm and Emily had his DNA under her fingertips. Emily was born in Britain but her family emigrated to New Zealand when she was nine and she was raised in Auckland. She had returned to live with her grandparents in Bournemouth, to study for a business national diploma at Brockenhurst College, Hants, and worked part-time at Top Shop in Bournemouth. She was also signed up to a modelling agency and had appeared on the front page of a magazine in New Zealand. Turner denies murder and perverting the course of justice. His parents both deny perverting the course of justice. The trial continues.

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IRISH NEWS

Three Inmates Flee Cavan Prison

Another three inmates escaped from an open prison in Co Cavan at the centre of controversy over the transfer of dangerous criminals, it has been confirmed. The three prisoners were detained on Monday night after going on the run from Loughan House, just outside Blacklion in Co Cavan, the Irish Prison Service said. The escapes are the latest embarrassment for the Irish Prison Service over its operations at Loughan House after Martin McDermott - jailed for seven years last July for the manslaughter of Garda Gary McLoughlin in 2009 after ramming him with a car - fled from the

unit in March just 12 days after being transferred. The 26-year-old inmate was later arrested in Derry by the PSNI. It was the second time McDermott, who has a record listing 91 previous offences, had fled from Loughan House. The alarm was raised on the three escaped inmates

at 6.30pm Monday night. It is understood dog handlers and a PSNI helicopter were used in the search operation. The Irish Prison Service recorded 86 inmate escapes from open prisons last year, with most returning voluntarily days later. There have been at least 16 this year.

Puppets Of Gerry Adams And Nelson Mandela Under The Hammer

They may not be the most flattering images of those they portray, but the famous caricature puppets used in the Spitting Image satirical show seem to have stood the test of time. On Saturday afternoon, at Whyte’s auction house in Dublin, one buyer paid over 4,000 Euros for the

puppets of Nelson Mandela, Gerry Adams and Peter Mandelson. The Mandela puppet sold for 1,800 Euros, almost twice its guide price, while the Adams puppet went for

1,560 Euros, almost a third higher than its guide, and the Mandelson puppet for 600 Euros. The puppets were bought for display at a Co Dublin pub. In the 1980s and 1990s, Spitting Image was British television’s most popular satirical show and attracted millions of viewers.

Taoiseach Denies Treaty Claims

Taoiseach Enda Kenny attended the launch last week of the Government’s Stability Treaty online public information campaign and website at Government Buildings in Dublin. The referendum material being sent by the Government is a “merely factual’’ explanation of what the treaty is about, Taoiseach Enda Kenny has said. A copy of the treaty, in Irish and English, would be sent to households, he added. “This is entirely in keeping with the McKenna judgement,’’ said Mr Kenny. He added that Fine Gael and Labour would run individual campaigns promoting a Yes vote. The Government denied that its 2.2 million Euros publicity campaign is contrary to the terms of the McKenna judgment. The Supreme Court ruled in 1995 in a case taken by Patricia McKenna MEP that the State could not use public funds to promote one side or the other in a referendum. Mr Kenny said the Referendum Commission would act entirely independently in its work in informing people of what the treaty was about. The Taoiseach was replying in the Dáil to Sinn Fein TD Caoimhghín Ó Caolain. Mr Ó Caolain asked why the Coalition parties were pressing the people to change the Constitution to facilitate policies inflicting more and more misery on the people. He asked Mr Kenny to withdraw the “bogus threat’’ that Ireland would be no

longer able to access funding if there was a No vote on 31st May. The Government has already set up a website, stabilitytreaty.ie, and intends to distribute a 40-page booklet and subsequently a leaflet to every household. A Government spokesman said that all the material had been cleared by the Attorney General in light of the McKenna judgment. However, Sinn Féin said it believed the Government’s “so-called information campaign” was in breach of the Supreme Court ruling. “We are taking legal advice on the issue. It is important that citizens receive independent and unbiased information.” Socialist Party MEP Paul Murphy said his organisation had consulted its legal adviser, Dublin solicitor Feilim O’Reilly, on the issue. They were awaiting advice as to whether there was a basis for an injunction “to take the website down and prevent the distribution of the booklet and the leaflet”.

Arrest Over 1973 Sectarian Murder

A man has been released pending a report to the Public Prosecution Service after being questioned by detectives investigating the sectarian murder of a Catholic man in Northern Ireland almost 40 years ago. The 62-year-old man was arrested in Blackpool

by officers from the Police Service of Northern Ireland’s Serious Crime Branch, with the assistance of officers from Lancashire Police and the North West Counter Terrorism Unit. He was held following a review by the Historical Enquiries Team into the shooting of John Huddleston in Durham Street, West Belfast, on

March 24 1973. Factory worker Mr Huddleston, a 28-year-old Catholic, was shot a number of times on his doorstep by loyalist paramilitaries as he returned from a night out. His brother was wounded in the attack. The suspect was taken to Manchester for questioning but was later released, police said.

RTÉ Presenter Lashes Station Over “Boring” Prime Time Show

Veteran presenter Mike Murphy has lambasted a recent RTE broadcast as “the most excruciating boring Prime Time on record”. He is severely critical of the scheduling of his show ‘Masterpiece: Ireland’s Favourite Painting’ which he said was “past most people’s bedtime”. Writing in the Irish Times’ Letters to the Editor, Mr Murphy (70) says the idea was a golden opportunity to produce ten halfhour programmes on Irish paintings to encourage nationwide engagement with the visual arts. “The transmission time, 10.15pm at night, was also an issue for me. Here we have the Cromwellian edict of arts programming being banished into the Connacht of broadcasting i.e. at, or past most people’s bedtime. “On the night Masterpiece was transmitted it was preceded at peak time (9.30) by the most excruciating boring Prime Time on record – two semi-coherent wannabe frontbenchers shouting at each other about water charges, and a thrilling dead handed exposition on internet copyright piracy. There, I thought is where the Cromwellian edict should be enforced.” Mr Murphy said that he had conveyed his views forcibly to RTE and asked: “Who in Donnybrook schedules these things?” He said some “wonderfully articulate” pieces

with guests including Ardal O’Hanlon, Ken Doherty and Sister Stan on their passion for paintings had been scheduled to go out on the late night show ‘The Works’ instead of at an earlier time. “Would it have been too much of an imaginative leap to broadcast these threeminute pieces during, say ‘Nationwide’, where there’s at least some chance of them being seen by those we are actually trying to reach?” he asked.

Vodafone Workers Vote For Strike

Customer service staff at Vodafone Ireland have voted to strike over the company’s decision to outsource 300 jobs to a company in Northern Ireland. Workers at call centres in Dundalk and Leopardstown cast 262 votes in favour of strike action with two votes against. It follows a decision to move jobs to Newrybased Teleperformance. The Communications Workers’ Union (CWU), is considering serving strike notice on the company. The switch over is due to take place on 8th May.

The CWU is currently involved in negotiations with Vodafone. The company promised all workers would have the opportunity to take up a job at Teleperformance. However, Vodafone has admitted that this will not be possible for all workers and is engaged in negotiations with the union on possible redundancy packages. In a statement, the company said: “This decision impacts 26 Vodafone roles and 290 roles with the existing third party contractor, Rigney Dolphin.

Vodafone acknowledge that many roles affected may relocate to Newry, where Teleperformance is headquartered. The company also recognises that some employees may not be in a position to relocate in these circumstances. The consultation process is on-going in order to explore all concerns and provide a forum for agreement.” The CWU wants to delay the changeover date until agreement is reached.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 irish news

Howlin In Warning Over Allowances Some of the 800 allowances currently paid to public servants, costing the State 1.5 billion Euros each year, will not be protected as “core” pay under the Croke Park agreement, Minister for Public Expenditure Brendan Howlin has said. In comments that will be seen as putting the Government on a collision course with public service unions, Mr Howlin said people would raise an eyebrow when details of some of the expenses were published and they would wonder whether or not there was a place for them. Mr Howlin contended that some of these payments were “historic” and were not part of the core pay, which the Croke Park agreement has protected in return for

changed work practices and increased productivity. However, trade unions have warned they would consider any cut in allowances to be a breach of the Croke Park agreement, which guarantees there will be no further pay cuts. The State pays out nearly 1.5 billion Euros to staff in a range of allowances, premium payments and overtime annually. It came as records released recently disclosed that hundreds of retired civil servants, many of them holding senior positions, have been rehired by Government departments after their retirement. Some have been rehired after taking the incentivised early retirement in February this year. In addition to the hundreds of teachers who have been

rehired since February by the Department of Education, records released by 13 other Government departments showed that almost 200 retired public servants had been rehired on short-term contracts after taking early retirement, or having reached retirement age. In most departments, those public servants were at the most senior administrative or technical levels, with more than 60 rehired at assistant secretary level, the second highest rank in a department. Contracts ranged from short-term ones lasting a matter of weeks to those lasting three years in the case of assistant secretaries rehired by the Department of Foreign Affairs as passport appeals officers. Two retired senior

diplomats have also been given contracts in 2012 to assist in Ireland’s presidency of the Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe. The departments that recruited the highest number of retired officials were Agriculture with 66 (most of whom are veterinary inspectors); Environment with 63; Transport (22); and Foreign Affairs (27). The Department of Health has rehired at least two retired secretaries general on short-term contracts since 2005. Little detail was released regarding costs. A parttime contract for a retired assistant secretary in Agriculture has cost more than 117,000 Euros to date. While most departments have applied the abatement

rule (where the pension and pay will not exceed full salary), the cost to the exchequer has run into millions of euro since 2005. The information was released to Labour Party TD Emmet Stagg on foot of parliamentary questions submitted by him to all departments. The Department of Education, which has rehired hundreds of teachers, said it needed more time to fully compile its response.

Mr Howlin’s department is carrying out a review of allowances. Last week he indicated for the first time that some allowances could be lost. The Minister told the Dáil that by and large the changes to most allowances would affect only new entrants. But he qualified this by saying: “It is clear that there is no longer a justification for some historic allowances. I will seek to address those in the current framework.” The review of allowances was due to be finalised last February. However, Mr Howlin said that, as a result of resource constraints, the volume of submissions to be evaluated and the complexity and variance of allowances across all sectors, it had not been possible to finalise the process in the time frame.

Archbishop Says It Is ‘Difficult’ For Bishops To Pass On Information Archbishop of Dublin, Diarmuid Martin, has said that it has become more difficult for bishops to share sensitive information about sexual abuse allegations with anybody except Gardaí and the HSE. He was speaking on RTÉ’s Today with Pat Kenny about the resignation of a child safety officer in a Dublin Catholic Parish, who resigned after she learned of allegations of child sexual abuse made against a priest who had served there. The priest had been put on restricted Ministry for years as a result of the allegations. However, Archbishop Martin said that he removed him from Ministry when new information about an old allegation came to light. Archbishop Martin said he understood and sympathised with the woman, who he said must have felt betrayed. However, Archbishop Martin said that in the

absence of a conviction or a charge, non-statutory bodies are restricted in the information they can pass on. He said that this was a “classic example of the lacunas that exist” within the law currently. “It’s a very serious difficulty at the moment, and legislation has been promised for some time,” Archbishop Martin said.

“I have said it may be necessary for the State to offer some form of indemnity to people in the church who have these sorts of responsibilities, but at the moment they are treated as private organisations.” The difficulties about making any statements or communicating information are becoming

greater than they were in the past. This is because

of a greater awareness of people of data protection, legislation and their rights,” he added. “The National Association of Priests is carrying on a campaign, a strong campaign, and I can understand where they come from, about not making statements. This situation is becoming more and more complex. The most recent norms that have come from the National Board leave many more decisions and options that have to be made and make it much more difficult for a Bishop who is trying to do what is possible, but who finds himself then in a legal quagmire because of the fact that the law is

inadequate.” Archbishop Martin said that the Murphy report had found that the diocese had dealt with this particular case adequately. He said that he has invited the National Board for Safeguarding Children to audit the diocese. The diocese was audited up until 2004 as a result of the Murphy report, and he said he has been told that it is not a priority as a result. However, Archbishop Martin said that the number of cases that have been dealt with and the number that have had developments since 2004 may be larger than others and indeed others put together.

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national news

Darragh Macanthony In Court In Marbella Darragh MacAnthony, and other directors of the MacAnthony Realty International Company, have been called to declare before the judge in Instruction Court Four in Marbella. They face charges of fraud and misappropriation of funds as investigations continue. They are accused of keeping some 600,000 Euros paid by some 40 British and Irish clients for their new homes to be furnished, but MacAnthony failed to do so. These 40 clients personally ratified their claims before the same Instruction Judge, Beatriz Fernández GómezEscolar, three months ago. It dates back to the period 2005 -2010 and each client had paid between 10,000 and 15,000 Euros for the furniture which MacAnthony said he would bring from Turkey, Bulgaria, Cape Verde, Italy, France and Morocco, where his company has branches.

He obliged the clients to sign the furniture contract, but in many cases they have seen nothing. MacAnthony has since made a de facto closing of the real estate company,

emptying its assets without seeking competition, and that could become a corporate crime. Darragh MacAnthony is also Chairman of Peterborough Football Club.

was attending a meeting of his European Union counterparts. “What this is about is finding a negotiated solution,” he added. “If not, then let them comply with what the arbitration tribunals decide,” the minister said. Spain’s claims the expropriation is illegal. Argentina has accused Repsol of skimping on investments. García-Margallo indicated there was scant hope of Argentina reversing its decision. “We do not dispute Argentina’s right to go for energy sovereignty, although in my opinion this is an error in the 21st century,” he said. Spain has already announced restrictions on imports of Argentinean biodiesel. GarcíaMargallo asked his European colleagues to back action by the European Union against Buenos Aires in reprisal for the expropriation of YPF. Spain wants the EU to file a complaint on the issue with the World Trade Organization and to end trade advantages afforded to Argentina by the bloc under the WTO’s generalised system of preferences. Madrid would also like the EU to walk away from signing a trade deal with Mercosur, the

Southern American trading bloc that groups Argentina with Brazil, Uruguay and Paraguay. “All the measures that might make Argentina return to international legality will be studied by the European Council, but I insist that the Council doesn’t take decisions; it’s the European Commission that takes the decisions,” García-Margallo said. British Foreign Secretary, William Hague, whose claims the UK has suffered trade restrictions recently by Argentina over the disputed Falkland Islands, called on the EU to “very seriously consider the measures proposed by Spain,” according to European sources. Meanwhile, Repsol warned off other foreign oil companies from trying to take its place at YPF. “Repsol reserves the right to take legal action against any investor in YPF,” company spokesman Kristian Rix told Bloomberg. Argentina has reportedly been in touch with Brazil’s Petrobras to gauge its interest in working with YPF and plans to do the same with Chevron and ExxonMobil.

Spain Seeks Compensation From Argentina Over Oil

Spanish Foreign Minister José Manuel GarcíaMargallo called on Argentina to return to the negotiating table to hammer out a compensation deal for the “millions of small Spanish shareholders” of Repsol, whose YPF unit was expropriated last week. Repsol is claiming about eight billion euros for the 51-percent interest in YPF seized by the government. However, a report in Argentinean daily La Nación quoted unnamed government officials as saying the administration of President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner aims to pay nothing for the stake, and is looking for accounting irregularities in YPF’s books. Repsol’s shares fell a further 5.97 per cent on Monday. The company has now lost about a fifth of its market capitalisation since the nationalisation of YPF was announced a week ago. “Spain is considering all measures that could bring Argentina back to the negotiating table,” GarcíaMargallo told reporters in Luxembourg where he

Spanish Researchers Discover The Molecule Which Spreads HIV Spanish scientists have discovered the molecule which spreads the HIV virus. These molecules, called gangliosides, are those responsible of penetrating the defences of the organism. The discovery will help in the creation of new drugs and is a step towards the creation of a vaccine. They have shown that the gangliosides cover the HIV virus and are used to penetrate in dendritic cells, part of the body’s immune system. These cells are responsible for the capture and spread of the virus which is carried to the lymph glands, considered to be the control centre of the immune system and where the body tries to create substances to destroy the virus and kill the infection. The work has been done by scientists in the IrsiCaixa Aids Research Institute, who have published their findings, in English, and who have been carrying out first tests on mice for the past three months. Director of IrsiCaixa, Bonaventura Clotet, has said the resulting drugs from this research will be more efficient and stable than current treatments, and less vulnerable to virus mutations. He said he

Dr. Martínez Picado (left) and Bonaventura Clotet, at a press conference in Barcelona on Tuesday night

and his team were ‘hopeful’. ‘The excellence of the research in Spain has not been created in two days’, said the director of the Irsicaixa team, ‘but it could all be thrown away in two days’ - A reference to the planned large cuts in health in which research and development will be hard hit. In Spain Aids is no longer considered to be lethal, rather a chronic illness with a life expectancy the same as the non-infected population, but the rhythm of infections has risen 17% in the last decade and one in four of those infected do not know they are living with the virus.

Former Regional Jobs Commissioner Jailed

Andalusia’s former e m p l o y m e n t commissioner Antonio Fernández was taken into custody without bail early Tuesday for his alleged role in a fraud scheme involving a public fund set up to help companies pay severance packages to laid-off workers. Judge Mercedes Alaya, who is investigating the case, is also looking at the possible indictment of other former officials who served in the Socialist government during the time the fraud occurred. Fernández is the highest-ranking politician to be indicted in the case so far. He faces charges of bribery, falsifying documents, embezzlement, dereliction of his public duties, and carrying out negotiations that are prohibited for a government official. Judge Alaya gave the defendant her 77-page ruling after hearing arguments from anticorruption prosecutors, who requested that he be

held in custody until his trial. The Popular Party (PP) in Andalusia and the far-right union Manos Limpias, have also filed criminal complaints against Fernández. In her ruling, Alaya said that Fernández was a flight risk and could hamper the ongoing investigation if he remained free. She ordered him not to make any contact with Javier Guerrero, the former director general of the regional labour department who has been in preventive custody since 10th March, during his stay in jail. If convicted, Fernández

could face a prison term of up to 18 years for embezzlement. Fernández testified for three days, beginning Friday, before Alaya made her decision. The fund, set up to help struggling companies, illegally paid out 647 million euros in job benefits to people who didn’t qualify, the judge said. Alaya also accused Fernández of being the mastermind behind the fund, saying he sought ways to keep auditors from the Andalusian government and European Union from reviewing the region’s finances.

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A Hole Load of Problems for Spain’s Roads According to the latest technical study from the Spanish Highways Association, AEC, Spanish roads are in need of an urgent investment. Raising the alarm over the high risks posed to road safety, the association insists the condition of the roads is as bad now as it was 25 years ago, with a staggering 320,000 traffic signs that need replacing and 50,000 km of road markings that need repainting. Moreover AEC argues that every euro that is not being spent on maintenance now

will cost 25 euros in five years’ time. Association president Manuel Múñoz presented the report demanding answers on why spending on high speed rail is being prioritised and road maintenance is not. He called for an urgent investment of 5.5 billion euros to prevent further deterioration of Spanish roads. He added that although driver error is responsible for many accidents, the current condition of Spanish roads is making the problem far worse.

Malaya Suspect Lives It Up in Java

An ex-councillor who faces prison in the ongoing Malaya corruption trial has been spotted in Indonesia four years after going on the run. Javier Lendinez, who allegedly collected 18,000 euros from Juan Antonio Roca, vanished in December 2008 when he should have started a nine month prison sentence for real estate irregularities. There had been no

word until newspaper La Opinion de Malaga received a ‘recent’ photo of him supposedly in a restaurant on the island of Java.

Families of the 62 Spanish victims, who perished along with 13 Ukrainian and Belorussian crew members, when a Yaklovlev -42 plane they were travelling in crashed over Trabzon, Turkey while flying back from Afghanistan to a military base in Zaragoza, have conveyed their anger to President Mariano Rajoy for pardoning the only two military officials who were convicted for misidentifying the bodies of half of the dead soldiers.

Spanish newspaper, El País, reported that Miguel Ángel Sencianes, president of the association of the families of the victims, said, “This isn’t good, Mr Rajoy. This is a mockery. You cannot dishonour the memory of the 62 men who gave their lives for Spain”. In a meeting on Saturday, association members said they will do all they can to ensure that the two men in question are kicked out of

the military. The two military medical officials, José Ramón Ramírez García and Miguel Ángel Sáez García, were convicted in 2009 and sentenced to 18 months in prison for misidentifying 30 of the 62 soldiers who died, allegedly made due to their haste to get the bodies back to Madrid in time for an official funeral organised by the then Partido Popular

government of José María Aznar. A third person, General Vicente Navarro, was sentenced to 3 years in prison, but he died before beginning his sentence.

Arson Probe in Gibraltar

Police believe an arsonist may have started two house fires in Gibraltar in the space of just two weeks. It comes after one Gibraltar resident slammed the housing authorities after squatters apparently caused a fire that burnt down his home. Police confirmed they were investigating the possibility of arson, after James Rae’s flat was completely gutted during an early morning blaze last month. A spokesman for the Royal Gibraltar Police Emilio Acris confirmed: “We are treating the fire as suspected arson.” He added: “We are investigating a possible link between the fire and another on 16th March in the same area, for which two people

British Expat Fights Off Eagle Attack

A British expat fought off an eagle as it tried to fly off with one of her dogs while she was walking them in hills above the Costa del Sol at the weekend. Suzanne Dodd, 43, described how the bird of prey swooped down on to one of her two Jack Russells, grabbed it by the head in its claws and tried to carry it away as she walked a local hiking trail in the hills inland from Benalmádena on Saturday afternoon. “Suddenly this enormous bird swooped across the path. With one talon it grabbed her nose and the other her collar and I thought that was it for the dog but it struggled for a moment and I moved in,” she explained. She seized it by a wing and prised the bird’s claws from her terrier’s head as it dragged the dog from the path towards a cliff edge. “I had just a moment to act and grabbed hold of its enormous wing. It turned and bit me but released the dog.” But the huge eagle was undeterred and chased her down as she ran for cover with

Victims Families’ Anger at Spanish PM

the two dogs. “It swooped down on us about 20 times,” she said. “It was a surreal and terrifying experience.” Miss Dodd, an actress who once had a part in EastEnders, was treated for scratch wounds sustained in the attack. Her dog, Kora, received a wound on its snout. The bird, identified as a Golden Eagle, was wearing a leather strap and had bells attached suggesting it may have escaped from captivity. “It seemed to have no fear of humans,” said Miss Dodds, who reported the incident to local police. “It was a beautiful and impressive bird but it has to be stopped before it takes off with someone’s pet.”

have been charged.” Rae, 42, originally from Bournemouth, is angry that the fire occurred after the authorities failed to act when squatters apparently moved into his block. The DJ and barber insists he reported seeing candles and hearing noises coming from a neighbouring flat. However, nothing was done. The Castle Ramp resident, who is being temporarily housed in a local hotel, slammed the Gibraltar Housing Ministry for how it has dealt with his case. In particularly, he is furious it failed to secure the property after the fire, despite police insistence. “When I went round later the window grill was still hanging off and I’m sure

it had been looted,” he said. His girlfriend Kate Gooding, 44, who works for TRE radio station, added: “The whole thing is horrific. James has lost everything, all his worldly possessions.” She also slammed the general state of the Castle Ramp area, where several flats are being squatted. “It’s disgusting,” said Kate. “The area is going to wrack and ruin and it is easy for squatters to get in because the houses aren’t boarded up properly. “I’ve seen people coming up James’ staircase who look like they are on heroin and a dead body was even found recently,” she said. Gibraltar Housing Ministry was unavailable for comment.

Santander Profits Take A Hit

Profits at the Spanish banking giant Santander have been hit again after the company set aside money to cover property loan losses in Spain. First quarter net profit was down 24% at 1.6bn euros ($2.12bn; £1.31bn). It set aside 3bn euros in provisions, partly to cover rising loan defaults in its home country. Santander’s UK profits before tax was £347m, down about 40% on the same period a year ago. It said more than 400,000 new UK accounts were opened in the first three months of the year, 9% more than for the same period last year. Santander’s home country’s property

market is one of the worst-hit in Europe after the Spanish property boom unravelled during the banking crisis. A rising number of Spanish householders and businesses are defaulting on their debts, but Santander, which is the

Eurozone’s biggest bank, increasingly relies on its presence in emerging markets, particularly Brazil. Brazil contributed 27% of the bank’s profit during the quarter, compared with 12% from Spain.

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tELEVISION & ENTERTAINMENT guide

William & Kate: The First Year

ITV1 Tuesday 1st May 8:00 pm

“It’s quite fantastic how she’s taken to this like a duck to water.”

Lady Elizabeth Anson, Queen’s cousin

The fairy tale wedding of HRH Prince William and his university sweetheart Kate Middleton on 29 April 2011 caught the imagination of onlookers the world over and was watched by over two billion people. The newlyweds have rarely been out of the headlines since and to celebrate their first anniversary, this exclusive documentary explores the whirlwind 12 months that followed. The Dean of Westminster remembers how calm Kate appeared on her wedding day: “I daresay she did feel a bit nervous – I mean who wouldn’t at that particular moment - but there was no great sign of it at all. She seemed very calm and very together and utterly prepared for what was going to happen.” Lady Elizabeth Anson (the Queen’s cousin) talks about how Catherine is coping with life as a Royal and we also get a rare insight into how William and Kate enjoy life away from the cameras in Anglesey. As Lady Elizabeth Anson explains of their quiet life in Wales: “I think this is a wonderful opportunity for them both to have a life that’s as normal as possible and I think that this is sadly for them probably the short spell in their life when they can really be like a normal person.” By contrast we also follow their recent highprofile trip Stateside, which charmed the Hollywood elite. “It was William and Kate present themselves to the world and the world had an insatiable appetite for them after that wedding.” Tim Ewart, Royal Correspondent ITV News. Their visit to Canada was a resounding success as the newlyweds donned Stetsons in Calgary and challenged one another to a dragon boat race on Dalvay Lake. As Albert McDonald, Team member recalls “William’s boat won the race. One of our guys said to him ‘Your Royal Highness, is this going to get you in trouble at home?’ and he said ‘there’s no chivalry in sport!’” Meanwhile fashion commentators consider Kate’s emergence as a leading yet reluctant style icon and we examine the growing speculation over the potential pitter-patter of tiny Regal feet, as the Duke and Duchess prepare to relocate to Kensington Palace. This is a rare insight into Britain’s best-loved couple and how they have stolen the heart of the nation.

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f r i d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm......................................... BBC News at One 1:30pm........................................BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm............................. Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Incredible Edibles 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm �� Blue Peter 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm............................................................Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 7:00pm................................... The One Show 8:00pm ��EastEnders Realising she is fighting a losing battle, Bianca swallows her pride and seeks out help from an unexpected source. Dazed and confused after a subsequent encounter with Ian, Bianca flees through the market after making a drastic decision which has devastating consequences for her family. 8:30pm...........................Would I Lie to You? 9:00pm.................Have I Got News for You 9:30pm................................... Not Going Out In a desperate bid to prove his manliness, Lee joins Tim, Daisy and Lucy on a camping weekend in the middle of a dark, spooky forest. 10:00pm.............................BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show Graham is joined by Hollywood superstar Zac Efron, who chats about his new movie The Lucky One. 11:20pm.....................The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11:30pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am......................................................................Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am...................................................Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am..................................... The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am.......................................Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am........................................................Waybuloo 11:00am.................................. In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Mastermind 8:30pm ��Gardeners’ World 9:00pm �� John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely 10:00pm........................................................ QI 10:30pm........................................Newsnight 11:05pm �� Later... with Jools Holland

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am.........................................................ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm..............................ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm........................................ Emmerdale Desperate to do the right thing, Edna calls the police. Laurel is dismayed to learn that everyone knows about her affair. Chas comforts Marlon and makes a decision. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Sally struggles with the reality of looking after Jack. Kylie lashes out, leaving David heartbroken. Stella dashes Karl’s hopes for an eventful birthday. 8:00pm.............................. Poms in Paradise The show meets 22-year-old Adam, who emigrated to Australia with his family six years ago and is now a constable in the New South Wales police force. 8:30pm............................Coronation Street Sally’s decision devastates Kevin. The protestors are forced to move on but Kirsty suspects foul play. David’s family is torn apart. 9:00pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers is joined by Carol Vorderman for a life story that began with her being abandoned by her father when she was just three weeks old. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� American Pie At a high school party, four friends find that losing their collective virginity isn’t as easy as they thought, so enter into a pact to be the first to ‘score’ as the senior prom looms.

6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Secret Millionaire Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am �� Secret Location 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm ��Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 1:00pm ��Channel 4 Racing 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Ruby’s social status hangs in the balance as Jack makes her pay for her night out. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:30pm �� Unreported World 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm ��Come Dine with Me Four cooks from Folkestone and Dover take part in a week of competitive dining. 9:00pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats With nine brand new episodes and two special ‘best of’ shows, the topical comedy panel show continues to delve into the world of polls, surveys and statistics in its own unique way. 9:30pm ��Very Important People Very Important People is the brand new celebrity impression show that mocks our beloved stars and satirises a culture bamboozled by trivia, gossip and regurgitated ideas. 10:00pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11:05pm ��Stand Up for the Week 11:50pm ��Cellular Kim Basinger stars in David R Ellis’s thriller as Jessica Martin, a teacher kidnapped by vicious criminal Greer, who’s trying to get valuable information out of her husband.

Lip Service BBC3 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm It’s the morning of Cat’s birthday and Sam has the perfect day planned. But far from being excited about the celebrations which await, Cat feels like a total fraud. Against her better judgement, she’s sleeping with Frankie behind an unsuspecting Sam’s back and even has a secret tryst planned for the afternoon. Meanwhile, Tess helps new flatmate Lexy move in, using the opportunity to get to know her better, and

is delighted to discover the sexy doctor is single. But while her homelife is happy, things aren’t going so well for Tess on the work front. Self-obsessed actress Nora is doing everything she can to sideline and undermine Tess in a vain attempt to steal the limelight. Just as well Tess has Hugh for some much needed light relief. Frankie’s career is on the up after she lands herself a job photographing a boutique

hotel in the Scottish Highlands for trendy Scottish magazine Minus 21. In an attempt to make amends with Sadie, Frankie offers to split the fee if Sadie gives her a lift. But the road trip doesn’t go as smoothly for the friends as they had hoped. Frankie’s delighted to see Cat and they share a passionate afternoon together which heralds a turn of dramatic events and unexpected consequences.

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2 7 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am �� Live with Fern 12:15pm �� Giant Animal Moves 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� NCIS 3:15pm ��Inside Hollywood 3:20pm ��Jane Doe: How to Fire Your Boss 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 8:00pm �� Dirty Great Machines 9:00pm.................................... The Mentalist 10:00pm ��Castle 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:55pm �� Inside Hollywood

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:50am ��Coronation Street 7:15am........................The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 1:00pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 7:45pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 9:00pm ��American Idol 10:00pm...................The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm ��The Only Way is Essex 11:30pm ��Peter Andre: My Life

7:00pm ��Doctor Who As Donna’s world collapses, she finds help from a mysterious blonde woman - but can Donna and Rose stop the approaching Darkness? 7:50pm...............Doctor Who Confidential The world is in crisis and there’s only one person who can save it, but it’s not who you might think. Witness the world without the Doctor, travel backstage with the TARDIS, and take a stroll down the exotic Shan Shen Alley. 8:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Victoria is leaving the most important day of her life in the hands of her fiance, Nick, who plays top flight rugby league. 9:00pm �� Lip Service Drama series which follows the interwoven love lives of a group of gay women in Glasgow. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm....................................... Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad!

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Relocation: Phil Down Under 11:00am ��The Man in the Iron Mask 1:05pm �� River Cottage Bites 1:20pm ��You Deserve This House 2:25pm.................................... Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm.......................................A Place in the Sun 5:45pm.............................. Relocation, Relocation

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am �� Carry on Laughing 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:40am.................... Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:40am..................................................On the Buses 9:10am..................................................On the Buses 9:45am ��Terry and June 10:20am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am..............................................Kavanagh Q.C. 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:10pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:10pm ��Countrywise 5:20pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 6:25am �� Quantum Leap 7:15am...........................................................The Saint 8:15am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:05am..................................................... Police Stop! 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am........................................................The Saint 12:00pm..........................................Tommy Cooper 1:00pm �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 1:55pm ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 3:00pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Day 24 of the Indian Premier League features two teams with a wealth of indigenous talent, as Virender Sehwag’s Delhi Daredevils take on Sachin Tendulkar’s Mumbai Indians.

7:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��The Darling Buds of May 9:00pm...............................Above Suspicion 10:35pm ��Above Suspicion 11:35pm........................Murder in Suburbia

7:30pm �� UEFA Europa League Highlights 8:00pm �� The Sweeney 9:00pm ��Cops with Cameras 10:00pm ��The Shining

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��Along Came a Spider World-weary criminal profiler Alex Cross is challenged to a nasty game when a senator’s daughter is kidnapped whilst under Secret Service protection. 11:05pm ��The Fairy Jobmother USA Hayley Taylor takes on the challenge of getting unemployed people in the United States back into work in this new series.

Very Important People Channel 4 - 9:30 - 10:00 pm Very Important People is the brand new celebrity impression show that mocks our beloved stars and satirises a culture bamboozled by trivia, gossip and regurgitated ideas. Starring Morgana Robinson and Terry Mynott, as well as a cherry-picked ensemble cast, Very Important People is about to

reinvigorate the world of impressions. Keeping things ultra-fresh, each show also features a topical sketch recorded in the week of transmission. In the first episode, Bear Grylls tackles the perils of suburbia, David Attenborough examines the fascinating behaviour of Frankie Boyle in Stand Up Planet, while Danny Dyer deals with

one of the toughest things on earth - the commute to work in Britain’s Hardest Commute. Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand and David Walliams join forces as superheroes in a comic book fantasy, and the show features anti-bullying Gordon Ramsay while discovering how Adele struggles to make herself understood.

tv guide

ap r i l

6:00am ��Girl, Interrupted A would-be writer in the 1960s is committed to an exclusive psychiatric ward by her parents after attempting suicide. 8:18am ��FXM Presents 8:30am ��Hoffa Jack Nicholson gives a stunning performance as notorious American union leader Jimmy Hoffa, whose rise to power was abruptly halted by accusations of corruption and connections with the Mafia. 11:00am ��The Death of the Incredible Hulk Scientist David Banner searches for a cure that will stop him turning into his greenskinned, muscular alter-ego, but instead finds himself falling for a beautiful woman and battling hordes of terrorists who definitely won’t like him when he’s angry. 12:36pm ��Our Man Flint The world is rocked by a series of mysterious ecological disasters, while top secret agents from all nations are being murdered. 2:30pm ��Toys Another misfire from Robin Williams, which sees him playing a zany inventor who takes on the might of his villainous uncle, a former military man intent on turning the family toy factory into a munitions plant. 5:00pm ��Dunston Checks In Jason Alexander stars in this riotous family comedy as Robert Grant, the manager of a luxurious New York hotel who is eager to spend some quality time with his two young sons. 6:30pm ��Bartok the Magnificent A bat and a bear working their way across Russia as street performers set out to rescue a kidnapped prince. 8:00pm �� Flicka Family drama about the teenage daughter of a Wyoming rancher who discovers a wild mustang while out riding. Despite her father’s disapproval, the strong-willed girl decides to try and tame the horse. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm ��Ice Age 2 Sid the sloth, Manny the mammoth and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger realise their happy existence is about to come to an abrupt end thanks to rising temperatures. 11:47pm �� FXM Presents

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satu r d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 10:00am ��Saturday Kitchen 11:30am �� BBC News 11:40am......................................BBC London News 11:45am �� Football Focus 12:15pm.............................Match of the Day Live Last Day of the Championship. Gabby Logan presents live coverage of the key match on the final day of the Championship season. 2:30pm ��Rugby League Challenge Cup Clare Balding presents coverage of the Challenge Cup fifth-round tie between Warrington Wolves and the Bradford Bulls. 4:30pm....................................................... Final Score 5:20pm �� BBC News 5:30pm........................................BBC London News 5:35pm �� Pointless Celebrities 6:30pm �� My Family ‘New jobs for all’ seems to be the slogan of the day, as Ben is tempted to join ‘management’, and Susan and Janey find themselves in competition for the same monkey. 7:00pm ��The Voice UK Live Show. The Voice goes live for the first time. To kick start the show, there’s an exclusive group performance from superstar coaches Sir Tom Jones, will.i.am, Jessie J and Danny O’Donoghue. 8:30pm ��The National Lottery: In It to Win It 9:20pm ��Casualty Sam awaits the outcome of the GMC hearing, and painful memories are revealed when she is confronted by an old friend, Corporal Dean, who has been called to give evidence against her. 10:10pm..........................................BBC News 10:30pm........................... Match of the Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from all of the day’s Premier League games, with analysis from Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson. 11:55pm ��The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents all the action from the last day of the regular season in the npower Championship, with the jostle for play-off places providing an entertaining backdrop to the season finale.

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am..........................................................Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am...................................................Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am...........................................Extreme Animals 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am...............................The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Alesha’s Street Dance Stars 8:35am ��Prank Patrol Down Under 9:00am ��The Slammer 9:30am ��The Ministry of Curious Stuff 10:00am ��Animals at Work 10:35am..........................................................Splatalot 11:00am ��Copycats 11:25am............................................................. Ooglies 11:40am �� MOTD Kickabout 12:00pm.......................... Escape to the Country 1:00pm �� World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces second-round action, where the matches are now the best-of-25 frames. 5:30pm ��The Falklands Remembering Craig Thirty years after the Falklands conflict, three generations of the Jones family travel 8,000 miles from the Midlands back to the place their beloved Craig fell in battle. 6:00pm �� Flog It! 6:30pm ��Dad’s Army 7:00pm ��World Championship Snooker 8:00pm �� The Story of Light Entertainment 60 years ago impressionists were the poor relations of comedy, but since the 1960s they have continually pushed boundaries in an attempt to make us laugh. 9:00pm �� The Art of Tommy Cooper Cooper was a national comedy institution whose catchphrases remain in the language today. 9:30pm �� I Love 1972 Erstwhile teen heart-throb David Cassidy looks back at 1972 and talks about his rivalry with Donny Osmond. 10:30pm ��Mean Streets

6:00am ��Signed Stories 6:10am..................................................... Engie Benjy 6:20am ��Pocoyo 6:30am.............................................. Fluffy Gardens 6:40am �� Fluffy Gardens 6:45am ��The Hive 6:55am ��The Hive 7:05am �� Soli and Mo’s Nature Show 7:10am ��Sooty 7:25am �� X-Men 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am �� Fort Boyard - Ultimate Challenge 8:25am �� Saturday Cookbook 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 10:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:20am ��The Real Housewives of New York City 12:15pm ��Murder, She Wrote 1:20pm..............................ITV News and Weather 1:30pm �� Free Willy 3: The Rescue 3:05pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 3:20pm ��Murder on the Orient Express 5:45pm ��London Tonight 6:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 7:00pm ��You’ve Been Framed! 7:30pm �� The Cube Welsh PE teacher Catrin and Wes, a builder from Essex, are hoping that they have what it takes to beat the Cube and claim the big money prize. 8:30pm �� Britain’s Got Talent Ant and Dec present the latest set of auditions from the search to find Britain’s next superstar. 9:30pm ��Benidorm With Troy at home looking after his ill father, Gavin has a new holiday companion in the form of his salon employee Kenneth. 10:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:45pm ��Dirty Harry Tense thriller about a violent and uncompromising police officer’s pursuit of a psychopath who holds the city of San Francisco to ransom.

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am........................................... Mobil 1 The Grid 7:05am...........................................................British F3 7:30am................................... FIM Superbike World Championship 2012 Highlights from Round 3 of the Superbike World Championship from Assen in Holland, where Carlos Checa is looking to claim his fourth victory of the season. 7:55am ��Morning Line 8:50am........................................The TV Book Club 9:25am...........................................................Koko Pop 10:00am..........................................Made in Chelsea 11:05am..................................... The Pop Powerlist 12:10pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:15pm................................................ The Simpsons Homer hears Marge complaining about him not being romantic enough on the radio. He decides to take her for a romantic night at a motel, and leaves the kids with a babysitter who happens to be a wanted criminal. 1:50pm ��Channel 4 Racing Sandown Park, Leicester and Ripon. Titled the Ultimate Celebration of British Horseracing, Sandown’s extravaganza offers up a mixture of both codes. 3:55pm �� BT and Channel 4 Present... 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me Four confident cooks from Derby take turns to host their idea of the perfect dinner party. 6:00pm �� Channel 4 News 6:25pm ��4thought.tv 6:30pm �� Stephen Fry’s 100 Greatest Gadgets In this one-off programme British comedian, actor and gadget aficionado Stephen Fry chooses and presents his 100 all-time favourite gadgets. 9:30pm �� Terminator Salvation Director McG takes the helm for the fourth instalment of the sci-fi action franchise, starring Christian Bale and Sam Worthington. 11:45pm ��Underworld: Evolution The battle for supremacy between the vampires and the werewolves, as chronicled in Underworld, continues.

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2 8 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:20am ��Angelina Ballerina 8:40am ��Rupert Bear 8:55am �� Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:10am ��The Mr. Men Show 9:25am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:35am ��The Milkshake! Show 10:00am �� The Gadget Show 11:00am ��Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 12:00pm �� The Restaurant Inspector 1:00pm ��Murder She Said 2:40pm �� Medicine Man 4:45pm ��The Magnificent Seven 7:25pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:30pm ��NCIS 8:20pm ��NCIS 9:10pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:10pm �� CSI: NY 11:05pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

6:00am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 8:05am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 11:00am ��Peter Andre: My Life 12:00pm ��American Idol 1:50pm ��American Idol 2:50pm ��The Cube 3:50pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 4:50pm �� You’ve Been Framed and Famous! 5:50pm �� Back to the Future Part II Time travel adventure sequel. Marty McFly travels back and forth in time with eccentric inventor Doc Brown after the ruthless Biff creates a parallel version of 1985 in which he is all-powerful. 8:00pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 8:30pm �� Sextuplets: The Little Lambs 9:30pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 10:30pm................................ Celebrity Juice 11:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 12:00am �� Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

6:50pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Property guru Sarah Beeny and her husband and business partner Graham Swift are facing a whole new nightmare as they continue their struggle to restore their 97room Yorkshire home. 7:55pm �� The Restoration Man 9:00pm �� One Born Every Minute 10:00pm ��Along Came a Spider World-weary criminal profiler Alex Cross is challenged to a nasty game when a senator’s daughter is kidnapped whilst under Secret Service protection. 12:00am �� The Restoration Man

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am ��Ruth Rendell Mysteries 7:15am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:25am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:40am ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11:50am ��The Turn of the Screw 1:45pm �� A Touch of Frost 3:55pm ��The Secret Garden 5:55pm ��Agatha Christie’s Marple

7:00am �� The Sweeney 8:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:25am........UEFA Champions League Weekly 9:00am �� The Big Match Revisited 10:00am ��Motorsport UK 11:00am............................................................. Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Two of the best wicket keeper batsmen of modern times face off in the day’s opening Indian Premier League encounter.

8:00pm ��Doc Martin Martin’s parents, Christopher and Margaret, make an unexpected visit to Cornwall to stay with their son - but they have not spoken for seven years, and the true nature of their visit is revealed when Martin takes them to see Aunt Joan, Christopher’s sister. 9:00pm �� Foyle’s War Sabotage, murder and adultery at a pioneering RAF burns hospital brings Foyle face to face with the devastating physical and emotional consequences of war. 11:00pm �� Agatha Christie’s Poirot

8:00pm �� River Monsters 9:00pm �� Unforgiven Long after he has settled into a peaceful life as a farmer with his two children, reformed gunslinger William Munny is coaxed out of retirement by a young gun who wants his help in bringing the men responsible for attacking a prostitute to justice. 11:40pm ��Midnight Run Action comedy. A gruff cop-turned-bounty hunter captures a fugitive accountant accused of fraud and sets off from New York for Los Angeles to collect his prize.

Terminator Salvation Channel 4 - 9:30 pm - 11:45am Director McG (the Charlie’s Angels films) takes the helm for the fourth instalment of the sci-fi action franchise, starring Christian Bale and Sam Worthington. The principal action takes place in the not-too-distant 2018, in the devastated world that was glimpsed early in the series, where a determined group of resistance fighters are battling killing machines that are set on sole control of the planet. John Connor (Bale) is one of the resistance leaders who discovers that their Skynet robot adversaries have a potentially fatal

8:55am �� Time Team 12:10pm �� Captain Horatio Hornblower R.N. 2:25pm �� Grand Designs 3:35pm �� Grand Designs 4:40pm.................Location, Location, Location 5:45pm �� Kirstie’s Handmade Britain

7:00pm ��Doctor Who Earth’s greatest heroes assemble to fight the New Dalek Empire. But a fearsome old enemy waits in the shadows. 7:45pm ��Doctor Who Confidential With The Doctor’s oldest adversaries back and badder than ever, a look inside the dark and deadly world of the Daleks. 8:00pm ��Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May buy old British roadsters from Jensen-Healey, Lotus and TVR before taking a wistful journey through the remnants of the UK’s sports car industry. 9:00pm ��World’s Craziest Fools 9:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10:15pm ��Adulthood Gritty sequel to Kidulthood, the controversial contemporary drama that depicted innercity London life for a group of adolescents. Sam Peel has just served six years for killing a youth and now he is a free man. 11:50pm �� Family Guy

design flaw; they also learn that Skynet plans to imminently assassinate the top resistance leaders; Connor is second on the kill list to Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin), a civilian whose significance is known only to Connor. Meanwhile, Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) has also appeared on the scene - is he a mysterious warrior, out to defeat the machines, or does he have darker motives? Also starring Helena Bonham Carter, Bryce Dallas Howard and Moon Bloodgood.

tv guide

ap r i l

6:00am ��Flicka Family drama about the teenage daughter of a Wyoming rancher who discovers a wild mustang while out riding. 8:00am ��Flicka 2 A big city girl is far from happy when she is sent to live with her father on his ranch, but she forms a close friendship with a freespirited horse that makes her realise the importance of family. 9:37am ��Music Is Magic Two guys, a girl and their bandleader manager take their song-and-dance act to Hollywood. 11:00am ��WW3 Terrorists unleash a horrific and highly contagious epidemic on an unsuspecting American public, leaving the authorities struggling to identify the culprits and stop the death toll rising. 12:30pm ��The Reward A crash-landed crop-duster betrays a fugitive and his girlfriend to Mexican bounty hunters. 2:01pm ��The Edge A plane carrying billionaire Charles Morse (Anthony Hopkins) and photographer Robert Green (Alec Baldwin) crashes in the Alaskan wilderness. 4:00pm ��Broken Arrow Pilot Christian Slater is double-crossed by his veteran partner John Travolta, who plans to extort money from the US government by stealing a top-secret bomber’s nuclear warheads. 6:00pm ��The Siege New York is placed under martial law after a series of bombings causes widespread panic, prompting a desperate bid to find those responsible before full-scale civic unrest takes hold of the city. 8:00pm ��Simon Sez A bumbling private eye is called in to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a wealthy American executive, but soon finds himself in over his head and forced to enlist the aid of interpol agent-turned-arms dealer Rodman. 10:00pm ��The Day After Tomorrow A climatologist warns a disbelieving world that climate change will soon result in destructive freak weather conditions, possibly another ice age.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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sun d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 7:35am ��Match of the Day 9:00am ��The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am ��The Big Questions 11:00am ��Country Tracks 12:00pm ��Sunday Politics 1:00pm ��Cash in the Attic 1:30pm ��Bargain Hunt 2:15pm ��Homes Under the Hammer 3:15pm �� Escape to the Country 4:00pm ��Human Planet 5:00pm ��Points of View 5:15pm ��Songs of Praise 6:00pm ��BBC News 6:25pm �� Countryfile Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison experience the bracing mix of sandy beaches and remote heathland that make up much of the Suffolk coastline. 7:25pm ��The Voice UK Results. The eliminations are upon us as coaches Sir Tom Jones and will.i.am have to say goodbye to one artist from each of their teams. 8:00pm ��Antiques Roadshow Shakespeare Special. Fiona Bruce presents a special edition of Antiques Roadshow, as the team head off to Stratford-upon-Avon in search of more family treasures at nearby Charlecote Park. 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Leo is determined to uncover the truth surrounding the mysterious death of a young girl who was being treated by his college friend Delaney. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:25pm ��Have I Got a Bit More News for You 11:10pm �� Room 101 Host Frank Skinner invites MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace, comedian Sarah Millican and television presenter Gabby Logan to compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. 11:50pm �� The Man Without a Face Compelling drama about a former teacher who has been a recluse since being disfigured in an accident.

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Extreme Animals 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Scoop 8:30am...........................................................Wingin’ It 8:50am ��Shaun the Sheep 9:00am ��Friday Download 10:00am �� Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:30am ��The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 12:00pm �� Great British Menu 12:30pm ��MotoGP Matt Roberts presents live coverage from round two of the MotoGP season from Jerez. 2:00pm �� World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces second-round action from Sheffield. 6:00pm �� Hairy Bikers’ Bake-ation Many people regard France as the home of gastronomy and Lyon the culinary capital of France, so that is where the journey across France begins as Dave and Si explore the ‘bouchon’ - a restaurant traditionally run by a female chef or ‘mere Lyonnaise’. 7:00pm ��World Championship Snooker Live second-round action continues at the Crucible. Matches are the best-of-25 frames and are played over three sessions. 8:00pm �� Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve Simon Reeve visits the tropical Indian Ocean Islands of Madagascar, Mauritius and the Seychelles on the second leg of his journey. 9:00pm �� Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission In this two-part documentary, Ewan McGregor is on a mission to the ends of the earth to immunise some of the hardest-toreach children in the world. 10:00pm ��Match of the Day 2 11:05pm ��Grandma’s House 11:35pm �� World Championship Snooker Highlights

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6:00am ��Boblins 6:10am ��Fireman Sam 6:20am ��Babar and the Adventures of Badou 6:35am........................................Special Agent Oso 6:45am ��Special Agent Oso 7:05am �� Olly the Little White Van 7:10am ��Tati’s Hotel 7:25am ��Matt Hatter Chronicles 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am ��Victorious 8:25am ��Dinner Date 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��Ade in Britain 10:25am ��May the Best House Win 11:30am �� Long Lost Family 12:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:35pm ��Britain’s Got Talent 1:35pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 2:05pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 2:35pm ��Columbo 4:25pm ��Tea with Mussolini A group of English ladies living in Florence between the wars resist the onset of fascism in their own eccentric way. 6:35pm �� London Tonight 6:45pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes Tottenham Hotspur striker Jermain Defoe and family compete against actress Martine McCutcheon and clan in a bid to win thousands of pounds for their chosen charities. 8:00pm �� Vera Vera investigates the case of a murdered social worked named Jenny Lister, who was universally considered to have been principled and popular. 10:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:15pm ��Perspectives Comedian and presenter Griff Rhys Jones takes a journey into the classic children’s book The Wind in the Willows - a journey that began when he played the part of Mr Toad in a stage adaptation at the National Theatre. 11:15pm �� The Cube

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:10am ��Wheelchair Rugby Highlights 8:05am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��Sunday Brunch 12:00pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:25pm..............................The Big Bang Theory 12:55pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:20pm �� The Simpsons 1:45pm �� The Simpsons 2:20pm �� Meet Dave Director Brian Robbins’ sci-fi comedy stars Eddie Murphy as both a man-sized humanoid spaceship and the diminutive captain of the same vessel. 4:00pm ��Time Team Tony Robinson investigates how burial customs have changed and evolved over thousands of years of British history, in Time Team’s guide to burial. 5:00pm ��The Parent Trap Family comedy about identical twin sisters who are separated at birth when their parents divorce. Years later the girls meet at a summer camp and, despite strikingly different personalities, agree to a scheme to reunite their parents. 7:25pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Deal or No Deal Celebrity Special. The dream factory opens its doors to some well-known faces for the first ever series of Deal or No Deal: Celebrity Special. 9:00pm ��Homeland Carrie has been hospitalised in the wake of the explosion that killed Al Zahrani in the heart of Washington DC. 10:05pm ��The Bank Job Roger Donaldson’s bank heist conspiracythriller - scripted by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais -stars Jason Statham as the leader of a gang of thieves who bite off more than they can chew.

Perspectives ITV1 - 10:15 - 11:15 pm “The Wind In the Willows is a classic not just of children’s literature but also of English literature and I want to find out how it came to be made. How it reflects the life of Kenneth Grahame and also his relationship with his son. It’s a fascinating story, and ultimately a sad one.” - Griff Rhys Jones on The Wind in The Willows. In this instalment of the

Perspectives documentary strand, comedian and television presenter Griff Rhys Jones sets out to discover ‘a story about a story’, as he explores The Wind In The Willows, what inspired the writer Kenneth Grahame, and why his story has gripped the imagination of millions of readers. With this programme timed to mark the 80th anniversary of the author’s

death, Griff delves into a world of riverbanks, wild woods and fast cars and finds The Wind In The Willows wrapped up in a tragic and moving biographical story. He reveals how his interest in the story came about – playing Toad in a production at the National Theatre – and confesses that he himself ‘is Toad’.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

2 9 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:45am ��Mio Mao 8:50am �� Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:05am �� The Mr. Men Show 9:20am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:35am ��The Milkshake! Show 10:00am ��Animal Rescue Squad 10:20am �� Grey’s Anatomy 11:15am......................................Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12:15pm ��Cowboy Traders 1:15pm �� William and Kate: One Year On 2:20pm �� William and Kate 4:05pm ��Scooby-Doo 5:45pm ��Mulan 7:30pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:35pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 8:00pm ��Once Upon a Time 9:00pm �� A Perfect Getaway 10:45pm �� An American Haunting

6:00am �� The Hot Desk 6:10am ��Gossip Girl 7:00am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 9:40am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 12:10pm ��Winners and Losers 1:05pm �� Olly: Life on Murs 2:05pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 2:50pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 3:20pm ��The Only Way is Essex 4:50pm �� Britain’s Got Talent 5:50pm ��Britain’s Got More Talent 6:50pm ��The Incredible Hulk Comic book adaptation. A genetic mutation causes mild-mannered Bruce Banner to turn into the green and muscular Incredible Hulk when he gets angry. 9:00pm �� Benidorm 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm ��Olly: Life on Murs 11:45pm �� GoldenEye

7:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog Essex hairdresser Ed, who treats his two little pugs like royalty and feeds them the finest human food, and single mum Bexy, who is trapped in her house looking after her unruly labrador, leave their dogs behind and travel to Canada to spend a week working with special ops. 8:00pm ��Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson subjects the Skoda Yeti to a remarkably thorough road test, while James May makes a rare visit to the test track in the insane Aerial Atom V8. 9:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Usa Iraq veteran Joe faces a greater trial than war -planning all the aspects of his wedding to Paola and giving her a day as perfect as she hopes for. 9:50pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride 10:00pm �� Family Guy 10:45pm �� Family Guy 11:05pm �� Family Guy 11:30pm �� American Dad! 11:50pm �� American Dad!

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am ��On the Buses 6:45am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 8:25am ��Heartbeat 9:30am ��Heartbeat 10:30am ��Foyle’s War 12:35pm ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:45pm ��The Secret Garden 3:45pm �� Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 5:45pm ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8:00pm �� An Audience with Lionel Richie 9:00pm �� Caddyshack Slapstick comedy. An obnoxious and rich property developer wants to take over an exclusive country club and so challenges its pompous president to a game of golf leading to utter mayhem and a stream of surreal and crude visual gags. 11:00pm �� Cracker

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Scrapheap Challenge 11:05am ��Four in a Bed 1:50pm ��Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 2:20pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2:55pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:25pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:00pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:35pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:40pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:20pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers 7:55pm ��River Cottage Veg 9:00pm ��River Cottage Veg 10:00pm ��How to Cook Like Heston 10:35pm �� Father Ted 11:10pm �� Father Ted 11:40pm �� The Fabulous Baker Brothers

6:00am ��Greatest World Cup Matches 6:15am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 7:05am ��The Saint 8:05am �� Police Stop! 9:00am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:55am �� Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 11:00am ��MSA British Touring Car Championship 6:00pm �� The Sweeney Regan loses his patience with a thug he is questioning about a wages snatch. 7:00pm �� Minder Arthur takes a shine to a tone-deaf singer, giving Terry some difficulties to sort on the nightclub scene. 8:00pm �� River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade goes on the hunt for killer catfish, as he follows stories of a man swallowed whole by a giant fish and another person attacked in a most unnatural fashion. 9:00pm �� Cricket 10:00pm ��Get Carter

Homeland: The Vest Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:05 pm Carrie has been hospitalised in the wake of the explosion that killed Al Zahrani in the heart of Washington DC. When Saul comes to retrieve her, he discovers her on a manic flight, postulating a-mile-aminute about Abu Nazir. Saul finds himself

charged with looking after his damaged friend and, by applying his sense of order to Carrie’s chaotic theories, unearths what appears to be the heart of the terrorist mastermind’s plot. Meanwhile, Brody has taken his family to Gettysburg to spend one last weekend with them before his congressional

campaign begins, and before his fatal mission is to take place. He retrieves his weapon in this most unlikely part of small-town America, but discovers something even more painfully ironic... that on the eve of his selfdestruction, his family feels whole for the first time since his return.

tv guide

A P RIL

7:46am ��FXM Presents 8:00am ��Broken Arrow Pilot Christian Slater is double-crossed by his veteran partner John Travolta, who plans to extort money from the US government by stealing a top-secret bomber’s nuclear warheads. 9:50am ��Night Train to Paris A retired spy helps his former boss recover tapes containing defense information, only to learn his new partner has double-crossed him. 11:00am ��License to Drive A teenager promises the girl of his dreams he will take her out in his grandfather’s treasured vintage car, even though he has just failed his driving test. 12:31pm ��Moving Violations A misfit motorist leads fellow violators against a traffic-school policeman out to flunk them. 2:02pm �� The Truth About Cats and Dogs A radio vet falls for a handsome caller, but shies away from meeting him because of her low self-esteem and the mistaken belief that she’s unattractive. 4:00pm �� Soul Food Fantastic, well-observed drama chronicling the mixed fortunes of an extended African-American family, told through the recollections of a young narrator whose world revolves around his ailing grandmother. 6:00pm ��Hope Floats Former beauty queen Hope’s husband ruins her life by admitting on national TV that he’s having an affair with her best friend. Humiliated and heartbroken, she embarks on a much-needed trip back to her roots. 8:00pm �� The Family Stone A New York career woman struggles to make the right impression on her bohemian future in-laws when they meet her over Christmas. She decides to call on her younger sister for some advice and support. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Blast from the Past In the early Sixties, a paranoid scientist takes his wife into an underground bomb shelter and refuses to come out, believing the world to have been destroyed in a nuclear war.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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m o n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Deadly 60 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Help! My Supply Teacher is Magic 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� Bang Goes the Theory 8:00pm ��EastEnders Mandy’s determination to repair her relationship with Ian is dealt a blow by the return of a stricken Lorraine, who is desperate for help. 8:30pm...........................................Panorama Madeleine: The Last Hope? -Panorama. Current affairs. Five years ago this week, Madeleine McCann disappeared from a family holiday apartment in the Algarve, Portugal. 9:00pm �� Silent Witness Nikki and Harry track down the catholic nun behind the exorcism only to find that John now believes he is possessed, but can he be saved? 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� Match of the Day 11:05pm ��Late Kick Off 11:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��Great British Menu 7:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 8:00pm �� Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 8:30pm ��Home Cooking Made Easy 9:00pm �� The 70s 10:00pm ��Sounds of the 70s 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� World Championship Snooker Highlights

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Cameron is on edge, torn between Debbie and Chas. Ashley is terrified of what the future holds. Sean’s desperation for money gets him into trouble. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Convinced that Terry’s dealings are dodgy, Kirsty and Tyrone play detective. Brian reassures a concerned Julie at her 12-week scan. 8:00pm ��The Dales Adrian Edmondson meets racehorse trainer Simon West, the owner of Castle Stables, who talks about the challenges a small yard faces. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Kirsty risks her career to uncover Terry’s lies. Julie and Brian are knocked for six by devastating news. 9:00pm �� Scott and Bailey A hungover Rachel learns that Nick Savage has been brutally assaulted - and that she is top of the list of suspects. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� The Mighty Mississippi Trevor McDonald concludes his epic journey through the heartland of the USA following the course of its most important river, the Mississippi. 11:35pm ��Babies Behind Bars

6:10am ��Children´s TV 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:35am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Secret Millionaire Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��How to Haggle for a House 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm �� BT and Channel 4 Present... 12:40pm �� Kenwood Glamour Puds 1:10pm �� Detective Story 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me In Walsall, four hosts attempt to create the perfect dinner party in the hope of claiming the £1000 prize. 6:00pm ��The Simpsons Homer has a mid-life crisis when he takes a test declaring he only has a few years left to live. With his insanity growing, a psychologist tells Homer to take a relaxing vacation, suggesting Florida. 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Bart eagerly awaits a delivery from Joel but isn’t prepared for the magnitude of what he’s agreed to take on. Scott’s return puts pressure on Annalise to tell Rob about their blossoming romance, but is she ready to take this step? 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 8:00pm ��Foxes Live: Wild in the City Wild in the City is a brand new live interactive natural history event carrying out the biggest ever nationwide study into urban foxes in the UK. 9:00pm ��Embarrassing Bodies The team revisits several memorable cases, from Dr Christian’s work with a woman with size 34K breasts to a man whose symptom of leaking milk was the first sign of a much more serious condition. 10:00pm �� Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11:00pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:45pm ��Homeland

Angels of Mersey BBC2 - 8:00 - 8:30 pm The final episode of BBC Two’s Angels of Mersey follows Liverpool’s chaplains - the work they do and the lives that they touch. At Everton Football Club Chaplain Harry Ross supports a retired soccer legend and buries the ashes of

a lifelong Blues fan at Goodison Park - all in a day’s work for the retired vicar and passionate Evertonian. At Alder Hey Children’s hospital the chaplains remember the children who didn’t make it through treatment and the grieving families they have helped.

One of the mothers, whose child didn’t survive surgery, is now pregnant again and her family faces an anxious wait as she undergoes tests on her unborn child. The family is reunited with Chaplain Dave Williams at a special memorial service.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

3 0 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Giant Animal Moves 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��The Mentalist 3:15pm �� Mystery Woman: Mystery Weekend 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 8:00pm ��The Gadget Show 9:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 10:00pm ��10 Things I Hate About 1987 11:00pm �� A Perfect Getaway

7:00pm �� The Voice UK 9:00pm ��Escape From the World’s Most Dangerous Place Scarlett Johansson tells the story of 21-yearold model Samira, returning to Somalia for the first time since her family fled the country’s brutal civil war. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� World Series of Dating

The show begins with the sad news that dating legend Randy Cummings has died, aged 93. However, the sadness passes very quickly, as Doyle McManus realises he is now the world’s number one dater. 11:00pm �� Family Guy While searching for a new hobby, Chris meets a puppeteer named Franz, an old friend of Herbert’s. 11:20pm �� Family Guy When Bonnie goes out of town, Meg offers to check in on Joe, but she soon becomes a little too involved and starts freaking everyone out, especially Joe. 11:45pm �� American Dad!

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 6:50am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm....................................Coronation Street 1:00pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am ��Heartbeat 7:05am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:00am..................................................On the Buses 8:35am ��On the Buses 9:05am ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:10pm �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 4:15pm ��Countrywise 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm �� The Cube 8:00pm...........................................Gossip Girl 9:00pm.......................................... GoldenEye 11:45pm �� Celebrity Juice

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00pm �� John Sergeant on the Tourist Trail 10:00pm �� A Touch of Frost

Foxes Live: Wild In The City Channel 4 - 8:00 - 9:00 pm Foxes Live: Wild in the City is a brand new live interactive natural history event carrying out the biggest ever nationwide study into urban foxes in the UK. Using cutting-edge technology, this ambitious project will assemble footage from stateof-the-art tracking technology, camera rigs and user-generated content to provide a fox-

eye view of our cities. Every move will be followed with the help of CCTV cameras, GPS tags and mini fox cams that will follow the foxes’ movements; from under garden sheds where they sleep to the industrial estates where they mate. No one knows for sure how many foxes live in the UK or whether the population is growing. There’s thought to be

between 30,000 to 40,000 living in cities and between 200,000 and 250,000 living in the countryside. Some cities are thought to have as many as 27 foxes per square mile. GPS tracking will provide urban fox territory sizes in different housing densities and, with the public’s help, Channel 4 aims to make the most comprehensive estimate of the UK urban fox population.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Objective, Burma! 1:20pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me Rugby World Cup Special. This edition features four rugby greats going shoulderto-shoulder for a £1000 charity prize. 7:55pm ��Grand Designs There aren’t many people who would take on the role of project managing an ambitious, minimalist eco build with little previous experience. 9:00pm ��Grand Designs 10:00pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11:05pm ��The Secret Millionaire

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:50am �� Police Stop! 7:50am �� The Sweeney 8:50am �� Minder 9:50am �� Quantum Leap 10:50am ��Tommy Cooper 11:20am ��Tommy Cooper 11:50am ��The Saint 12:55pm �� The Sweeney 1:55pm �� Minder 3:00pm �� Cricket 7:30pm ��Rugby Highlights 8:30pm ��Motorway Patrol Including a wealth of sleeping drivers, overloaded vehicles, motorway pedestrians, and some of the most outlandish excuses for bad driving you’ll ever hear. 9:00pm �� Apocalypse Now An American assassin is sent upriver to kill a rogue colonel in Francis Ford Coppola’s hellish vision of Joseph Conrad’s Heart Of Darkness novel.

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ap r i l

5:30am ��Blast from the Past In the early Sixties, a paranoid scientist takes his wife into an underground bomb shelter and refuses to come out, believing the world to have been destroyed in a nuclear war. 7:42am ��FXM Presents 8:00am �� The Truth About Cats and Dogs A radio vet falls for a handsome caller, but shies away from meeting him because of her low self-esteem and the mistaken belief that she’s unattractive. Luckily, her stunning neighbour agrees to do the honours instead. 9:45am ��Just Off Broadway While serving as a juror, private detective Mike Shayne tries to convince his fellow jurors that the wrong suspect is on trial for murder. 11:00am ��Great Guns Chaotic Laurel and Hardy comedy in which the boys wreak havoc in a Texan army camp during World War Two after joining up alongside their millionaire employer. 12:30pm �� Stars and Stripes Forever Marine bandmaster John Philip Sousa becomes famous for his marches and inspires the sousaphone. 2:00pm ��I’ll Get By A songwriter and his partner promote their tunes with two singing sisters during World War II. 3:00pm ��At Long Last Love A bored playboy woos a spoiled debutante in art deco 1935 New York. 5:30pm �� Hello, Dolly! A widowed matchmaker sets about winning the heart of a skinflint grain merchant in late 19th-century New York. 8:00pm �� Crash Provocative and disturbing drama following a diverse set of characters brought together by a series of collisions and crimes during a turbulent 36 hours in multicultural Los Angeles. Paul Haggis’s Oscar-winning directorial debut is a stark, veracious account of the prejudice and stereotypes that affect modern life. 10:13pm �� FXM Presents 10:30pm ��Jarhead Jake Gyllenhaal stars as a fresh-faced Marine whose boot camp training turns into real-life combat when he is sent to Iraq.

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Help For Heroes 2012 Fundraiser - VIVO Treasure Island

Vivo Decades Treasure Island was the place to be on Sunday 22nd of April. They hosted a fundraiser for Help for Heroes, a charity formed to help those who have been wounded in Britain’s current conflicts and anyone who was anyone turned up for the day to raise funds for this incredibly worthy cause.

The day started with a Falklands Island style “Yomp” in keeping with this year’s 30th anniversary of the start of the conflict. The Yompers were also collecting on-route for “Help Our Wounded” which supports our Injured Royal Marines. Starting in Palm Mar and with a few refreshment stops along the way, including a sarnie break at The Market Tavern in Los Cristianos, they eventually arrived at Vivo’s – to a standing ovation from the waiting crowd. Many congratulations go to John Heathcote, a spritely 77 year old who came in 3rd beating other youngsters who took part. He was even still up for dancing at the party....

Even A Tiny Bit of Elvis turned up for the day to auction off some shirts donated by Help For Heroes.

Lizzie Brown Live entertainment was provided by some of the cream of Tenerife’s talent. Starting off with Lizzi Brown who opened the show, she was followed by Aidy Evans, Pip Brown did his instantly recognisable self, and was followed by The Eagle Show who brought along Eagles and Owls and demonstrated for the audience, ably helped by little Brooke who was far braver than most of the onlookers! Paul Lee – an incredible Meatloaf tribute, Michael J Grant and youngster Scotty T followed on. Luke Carey was

Aidy Evans next up and Gavin James performed some great party sounds from the 60’s through to the present day and had the crowds dancing their little shoes off. Bitter & Twisted, exclusive to Vivo, performed some hilarious acts from their catalogue and had everyone in hysterics, they were followed by the incredible” Prince of Soul” Willy Ray, and Les Budd closed the show with some soul classics. All of the entertainers gave their time for free.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 local news

Pip Brown

Paul Lee

Scotty T

Michael J Scott

Gavin Allen Luke Carey

All photographs courtesy of Fly Fotography.

ted

wis &T r e Bitt

A massive raffle took place with prizes donated by Maxicat, The Devon Arms, The Surrey Arms, The Imperial Club, Fly Fotography, Muscat, Eden Boat Trips, Siam Park courtesy of Gecko Excursions, Head 2 Toe, Aladdins Cave, Von Dutch Hats, 50 Euros cash and Tickets for Bitter & Twisted at Decades. Barry who organised the event for Vivo was

Willy Ray

overwhelmed by the response and thanked Tenerife Weekly who sponsored the event, Coast FM who broadcast live and proudly announced that the total raised as we went to print was 2,588 Euros. Many congratulations go to Vivo for hosting the event for the 2nd year running and more than doubling last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s total.

Les Budd

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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tues d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Deadly 60 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Who Let the Dogs Out? 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 6:55pm �� Party Election Broadcast by the Conservative Party 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Ian receives an unexpected visit from his accountant, who has alarming news about his recent spending - but will Ian have the courage to tell Mandy the truth about his finances? 8:00pm ��Holby City Greg is forced to confront the demons of his past when he oversteps the boundaries of the doctor/patient relationship. 9:00pm �� Crimewatch They want to know who killed a retired farmer in a botched Cambridgeshire robbery, and whether you can help reunite half a million pounds’ worth of stolen Asian wedding gold with its rightful owners. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards 11:10pm �� Crimewatch Update 11:20pm ��Kevin Bridges: What’s the Story? 11:50pm ��The Estate

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��Great British Menu 7:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 8:00pm �� Hairy Bikers’ Bake-ation 9:00pm ��Meet the Romans with Mary Beard 10:00pm �� Later Live... with Jools Holland 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� World Championship Snooker Highlights

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme Laura hopes to heal a rift with her daughter Helena when she is invited to construct a memorial garden near Helena’s home. 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:25pm ��Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Cameron comes up with a plan to tempt Chas. Ruby learns that Sean has been bullied. Ashley is daunted by his journey to seek forgiveness. 7:30pm ��Countrywise Kitchen Mike Robinson and Kate Jenkins are in Sussex, where Mike tries his hand at barbequing lamb over local charcoal and perfects his homecooked fish and chips. 8:00pm..............................William and Kate: The First Year To celebrate the first wedding anniversary of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, this documentary tells the story of their wedding and looks back at the last 12 months. 9:00pm �� The Hunt for Bin Laden Documentary about the mission to hunt down Osama bin Laden, which was completed when he was killed in a raid by US Special Forces in May 2011. 11:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 11:35pm ��The Unforgettable Kenny Everett A look at the life of comic and DJ Kenny Everett, who died aged 50 in 1995. His talent, originality and sense of the outrageous made him both the enfant terrible of broadcasting and one of its brightest stars.

6:00am �� The Treacle People 6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Secret Millionaire Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��How to Haggle for a House 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm �� Kenwood Glamour Puds 1:05pm �� The Kitchen Pharmacy 1:25pm ��The Desperadoes 3:05pm �� BT and Channel 4 Present... 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons While Homer gets laser-eye surgery, Lisa is inspired to learn dancing after seeing “Tango De La Muerdo”, and takes tap dancing lessons from former child dancer, Little Vicky Valentine. 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Sinead discovers Bart’s job for Joel, but can Bart persuade her to keep his secret? Annalise worries that Scott won’t want to be with her when he discovers her faults, and Mitzeee eagerly prepares for her television debut, but the stalker is never far from her mind. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��Foxes Live: Wild in the City 8:00pm �� Supersize v Superskinny 9:00pm ��Hidden Talent The second episode looks for someone with the physical and mental capacity to succeed in the international free-diving arena. 10:00pm ��Facejacker 10:35pm �� Hit the Road Jack This week he looks back at the stand out moments from across the series including unseen footage and comedy sketches, plus celebrity guests. 11:05pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man

The Hunt for Bin Laden ITV1 - 9:00 - 11:00 pm “The world’s only remaining superpower didn’t have the ability to get one guy.” Richard Clarke, former White House counter terrorism adviser. ITV1’s new documentary The Hunt for Bin Laden exposes the inside story of the most intensive manhunt in US history. This two-hour special marks the first

anniversary of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden and chronicles the chase for America’s most-wanted man – which spanned decades, sparked wars, and defined presidencies. It highlights a string of grave mistakes and missed opportunities, characterising successive US administrations’ attitudes towards tackling

the threat of Bin Laden and al Qaeda. Packed with exclusive interviews with military leaders, CIA chiefs, FBI agents and White House insiders from three presidential terms. This Brook Lapping production vividly tells the story of a 20-year cat and mouse game to bring the world’s most notorious terrorist to justice.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

1 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Giant Animal Moves 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm �� The Cradle Will Fall 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Dirty Great Machines 8:00pm �� War Hero in My Family 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:55pm �� CSI: NY 11:55pm �� CSI: Miami

7:00pm �� Total Wipeout For winning contestants on Total Wipeout there is glory, a shiny trophy and the title of champion. But what do the gallant, damp, muddy losers get? 8:00pm �� Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum 9:00pm �� Britain Unzipped Armed with the results of an exhaustive report covering every aspect of modern life, Greg James and Russell Kane, along with a special guest, take a look at British behaviour and reveal what really goes on behind closed doors and inside our heads. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm �� Family Guy Chris and Meg think their parents have it easy, but Peter and Lois beg to differ, so in order to teach them a lesson they all trade roles. 11:45pm �� American Dad! Stan prays for a friend and thinks God has sent him one, but he turns out to be an atheist.

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Carry on Laughing 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:30am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:30am ��Terry and June 9:10am ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:10pm ��Countrywise 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 8:00pm �� Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 8:30pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm �� The Vampire Diaries 10:00pm �� Gremlins

7:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Wycliffe When a fishing boat sinks, killing one of the crew, Kersey and Lane discover a community struggling to keep its head above water. 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm �� Inspector Wexford

Hidden Talent Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm The second episode are selected, they are and dive to a depth below looks for someone with the physical and mental capacity to succeed in the international freediving arena, and an individual who, with no previous artistic training, can spot a masterpiece in a room full of fakes. Once the 12 finalists in the free-diving tests

put through their paces by top instructor Emma Farrell, who observes each candidate to see who has the best biological and psychological aptitude for the sport. A small number of people have an advanced mammalian diving reflex which enables them to hold their breath for upwards of four minutes

60 metres without scuba gear. After the participants have had their natural skills tested in a freezing quarry, 28-year-old Roxanne Messenger, an art director at an advertising agency, is selected to undertake further oneon-one training to push her newfound talent as far as it will go.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��How Clean is Your House? 11:05am ��Location, Location, Location 11:35am ��The Badlanders 1:15pm �� River Cottage Bites 1:25pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs Kevin revisits Alan and Judith Dawson, who in 2009 began constructing their prototype, prefabricated home in west Cumbria. 9:00pm �� The Restoration Man 10:00pm �� The Fairy Jobmother Usa 11:00pm ��The Good Wife 12:00am ��Grand Designs

7:00am ��The Saint 8:00am ��The Professionals 9:00am ��Motorsport UK 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Matt Smith and Isa Guha with Mark Ramprakash and Ian Harvey. Double bill with the day’s first encounter as Deccan Chargers try to halt Pune Warriors’ charge towards the play off places. 8:00pm ��British Touring Car Championship Highlights Thruxton. Steve Rider presents the best of the action from rounds seven, eight and nine of the Dunlop MSA British Touring Car Championship from Thruxton, Hampshire. 9:30pm ��Motorway Patrol 10:00pm ��Midnight Run Action comedy. A gruff cop-turned-bounty hunter captures a fugitive accountant accused of fraud and sets off from New York for Los Angeles to collect his prize.

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ma y

6:00am ��Jarhead Jake Gyllenhaal stars as a fresh-faced Marine whose boot camp training turns into real-life combat when he is sent to Iraq. However, the desert action isn’t what the new recruit expected as the willing soldiers are forced to wait for hours in searing heat. 8:16am ��FXM Presents 8:30am ��Hoffa Jack Nicholson gives a stunning performance as notorious American union leader Jimmy Hoffa, whose rise to power was abruptly halted by accusations of corruption and connections with the Mafia, culminating in his mysterious disappearance. 11:00am ��Five Fingers World War Two espionage thriller based on actual events. James Mason stars as a British ambassador’s valet who tries to climb the social ladder by selling secret Allied documents to the Nazis. 1:00pm �� The Salzburg Connection A U.S. lawyer joins Austrian intrigue over an old box containing names of Nazi collaborators. 2:35pm ��The Cape Town Affair An American secret agent tries to retrieve a roll of microfilm in South Africa before it falls into communist hands. 4:30pm ��Our Man Flint The world is rocked by a series of mysterious ecological disasters, while top secret agents from all nations are being murdered. 6:30pm �� S.P.Y.S Two CIA bunglers botch a Soviet defection, then both sides mark them for termination. 8:00pm �� In Bruges Two hit men are ordered to lie low in Belgium after an assignment goes wrong. Trying to pass as tourists in the medieval city of Bruges, the bickering assassins are drawn into an increasingly surreal series of misadventures involving a dwarf actor and a secretive drug dealer. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� 8mm Surveillance expert Nicolas Cage is dragged into a seedy world of murder and deception when hired to investigate a suspicious movie found among the possessions of a dead man.

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we d nes d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Deadly 60 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Horrible Histories 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��An Inside Out Special: Drought 2012 Wendy Hurrell investigates whether Thames Water is prepared for the looming water crisis. Meteorologist Nick Miller travels across Britain to learn how the drought occurred. 8:00pm �� Traffic Cops A trail of blood leads to a man who has been drinking after an abandoned car is found smashed into a telegraph pole on the outskirts of Watford, but it is down to the traffic cops to prove he was driving. 9:00pm ��The Apprentice Flip it in Essex. The teams are called to a warehouse in Essex; Lord Sugar tells the candidates that this is how he started out, buying wholesale goods and selling them on for a profit. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45pm �� Chicago Oscar-winning musical comedy. Aspiring singer Roxie Hart longs for the limelight, and so does vampish nightclub sensation Velma Kelley.

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��See Hear 1:30pm �� World Championship Snooker 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��Great British Menu 7:00pm ��World Championship Snooker Live coverage from the concluding sessions of 2012’s quarter-finals, with the first players to win 13 frames moving into the last four. 8:00pm ��Antiques Uncovered 9:00pm �� This World 10:00pm �� The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� World Championship Snooker Highlights

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal Today David Dickinson and the dealers are on the hunt for antiques of interest in Kidderminster, Worcestershire. 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme An old friend of Rosemary’s invites the pair to restore the 100-year-old gardens of her French villa before it is opened to the public. 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Zak’s strange behaviour starts to unnerve his family. Cameron braces himself to break up with Debbie. Ali and Ruby are unimpressed when Dan moves into the village. 7:30pm ��The Unforgettable Tribute to Hughie Green, a phenomenally successful child star and professional pilot who became TV’s Mr Opportunity with the talent show Opportunity Knocks. 8:00pm �� The British Soap Awards 2012 Phillip Schofield presents the British Soap Awards 2012, a glittering ceremony honouring outstanding achievement in some of the country’s most popular TV shows. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm ��Leah’s Dream Documentary telling the remarkable story of a child with a terminal illness, revealing her mother’s love for her and looking at their close relationship, which transcends tragedy. 11:35pm �� Total Emergency Series following all three emergency services in Sheffield. Today, the police are out in force at a local football derby with a history of violence, paramedics treat a drunk man with a gashed head.

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Secret Millionaire Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��How to Haggle for a House 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��River Cottage Veg Heroes 12:35pm �� Kenwood Glamour Puds 1:05pm �� The Conqueror 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons Otto proposes to his girlfriend Becky and the two prepare to be wed at the Simpson’s house. 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Mitzeee’s TV debut comes to an abrupt end when harassment from the stalker causes her to lose it live on air. Annalise and Scott resolve their misunderstanding, but it could be only a matter of time before Rob discovers their duplicity. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��Foxes Live: Wild in the City 8:00pm �� Four Rooms This episode features six original dresses made by the late Alexander McQueen, including a design piece for Sarah Jessica Parker; a bespoke gold Rolex watch made for the Sultan of Oman containing 300 diamonds and 27 rubies. 9:00pm ��The Tallest Tower: Building the Shard Built against a backdrop of massive public opposition and one of the worst recessions in history, this feat of architectural engineering in the heart of the capital will stand at over 1000 feet: the tallest tower in Western Europe. 10:00pm �� The Killing 10:55pm �� 2 Broke Girls 11:25pm �� Desperate Housewives

The British Soap Awards 2012 ITV1 - 8:00 - 10:00 pm

It’s the time of year again when all the hottest and biggest soap stars from Coronation Street, EastEnders, Emmerdale, Doctors and Hollyoaks put on their glad rags and gather together for one of the most glamorous award ceremonies on UK television – The British Soap Awards 2012. The actors from the nation’s biggest TV shows will put aside betrayals, busi-

nesses, burials and brawlings for an evening of showbiz sparkle. They keep us hooked throughout the year and this is their chance to take centre stage and be rewarded for the entertainment and drama that they bring loyal viewers. Hosted by Phillip Schofield with awards being presented by some of entertainment’s most famous faces, there’s everything to play for in the

soap world’s ‘Oscars’. Who will triumph this year? The British Soap Awards honour outstanding achievement in the country’s most popular television genre. There are 17 awards and categories are voted for either by a panel of expert judges or by the public including Sexiest Male and Female, Best Actor and Actress and the ultimate accolade Best British Soap.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

2 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� Giant Animal Moves 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm ��’Til Lies Do Us Part 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm ��The Gadget Show 8:00pm ��Cowboy Traders 9:00pm ��NCIS 10:00pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 10:00pm ��The British Soap Awards 2012 11:00pm ��The Big Quiz: Corrie Versus Emmerdale 12:00am �� Analyze This

7:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Usa 7:50pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Greatest Moments. Cherry Healey loves a good wedding so she takes the chance to reminisce about some of the most jawdropping moments from the fourth series of Don’t Tell the Bride. 8:00pm �� Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum Gloom reigns over the household when Gracie loses her money. It’s desperate measures when Ruby and Ryan hit the London streets to beg and things don’t get any better when the young dumbers are sent to work in a dog shelter. 9:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog Streetsweeper Kim has no control over her two dogs, including one left to her when her dad died, while oil worker Mark has a husky that loves to chew everything, which is causing a massive rift with his girlfriend. 10:00pm ��Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents 11:00pm....................................... Family Guy 11:40pm �� American Dad!

6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:25am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:30am ��Terry and June 9:05am ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��Countrywise 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat 6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote Jessica’s beloved Cabot Cove is placed under the spotlight and in front of the camera when an aggressive television reporter from a popular news show disappears in mysterious circumstances. 8:00pm ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 9:00pm �� Midsomer Murders 11:05pm �� Prime Suspect

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��How Clean is Your House? 11:05am ��Location, Location, Location 11:35am ��The Shepherd of the Hills 1:25pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun 5:45pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me Athletics Special. Four Olympians battle it out to win a £1000 cash prize for charity. Former world champion javelin thrower Fatima Whitbread kicks off the week. 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10:00pm �� One Born Every Minute 11:05pm �� Undercover Boss USA

6:00am ��Greatest England World Cup Matches 6:10am �� Quantum Leap 7:05am ��The Saint 8:05am ��Motorway Patrol 9:00am �� Police Stop! 10:00am �� Quantum Leap 11:00am ��The Saint 12:00pm ��Motorway Patrol 1:00pm �� Police Stop! 2:00pm �� Quantum Leap 3:00pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Matt Smith with Dominic Cork. The Royal Challengers Bangalore made a slow start to this year’s Indian Premier League but can they start a late dash to the playoffs with a win against Kings XI Punjab? 7:30pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:00pm �� Border Security USA 9:00pm �� The Hunter 11:00pm �� Boogie Nights

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7:00am �� In Bruges Two hit men are ordered to lie low in Belgium after an assignment goes wrong. Trying to pass as tourists in the medieval city of Bruges, the bickering assassins are drawn into an increasingly surreal series of misadventures involving a dwarf actor and a secretive drug dealer. 9:00am ��The Sicilian A Sicilian bandit becomes a hero of the people by stealing from the landed gentry and giving his ill-gotten gains to the poor. However, as his popularity grows, so does his pride. 11:00am �� The Girl Can’t Help It A down-on-his-luck theatrical agent takes on a dangerous assignment when a gangster hires him to make a star out of his girlfriend. 12:40pm...............................................Bad Medicine Two Americans who dream of becoming doctors are unable to get into a medical school in the States, so take up a place in a Central American dictatorship. 2:30pm ��Bye Bye Love Three divorced men face up to the trials and rewards of fatherhood as they juggle the demands of their children during one hectic weekend. 4:30pm............................................................Airheads Frustrated heavy metal band the Lone Rangers are determined to get air time for their new record and break into a radio station to ensure it happens. 6:30pm �� Hot Shots! Charlie Sheen stars as a pilot who joins an elite squad to take part in a dangerous mission, where he faces a tough struggle to live down his father’s bad reputation and win the love of glamorous psychiatrist Valeria Golino. 8:00pm ��Date Movie Spoof of romantic comedies from the makers of Scary Movie. Alyson Hannigan stars as a woman who meets the man of her dreams. But she has to contend with a jealous rival and the disapproval of her parents before she can get him up the aisle. 10:00pm ��Meet the Spartans A fearless warrior king finds his daily routine of throwing people into pits disrupted by Persian invaders, giant robots and random celebrities. Leaping into action, he vows to muster an army to defend his kingdom.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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thu r s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Deadly 60 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Young Dracula 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Michael pulls out all the stops in a final, desperate bid to get his hands on the Vic’s money - but will his fictional proposal be enough to fool Jean? 8:00pm ��Watchdog Anne Robinson and the team investigate a potentially dangerous fault with a popular family car. Plus questionable supermarket offers, and the insurance companies hitting customers with huge charges for a simple change of address. 9:00pm ��New Tricks UCOS reinvestigate the 2001 death of Dr Bernard Fletcher, a senior palaeontologist at the Natural History Museum, when the pathologist on the original investigation is suspended for negligence. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��Question Time The panel includes Harriet Harman, deputy leader of the Labour Party; former Liberal Democrat leader Ming Campbell; and the businessman and star of Dragons’ Den, Theo Paphitis. 11:35pm ��Vote 2012

6:00am ��Wibbly Pig 6:10am ��Lunar Jim 6:20am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am �� Eliot Kid 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am ��Bear Behaving Badly 8:20am ��Shaun the Sheep 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons Go Inventing 8:45am �� Numtums 8:50am ��Little Charley Bear 9:00am ��Buzz and Tell 9:05am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:20am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:30am ��Chuggington 9:35am ��Small Potatoes 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10:10am ��Baby Jake 10:20am ��Zingzillas Zingbop 10:30am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� World Championship Snooker 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��Great British Menu 7:00pm �� World Championship Snooker The second semi-final gets under way this evening. Live coverage of the first eight frames is introduced from the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. 9:00pm �� Shakespeare 10:00pm ��Grandma’s House 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� World Championship Snooker Highlights

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm.................................. 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Lisa despairs, waiting to see if Zak’s cancer has returned. Cameron spends time with Chas when he should be at the hospital with Sarah. 7:30pm �� Tonight The Trouble with Men. One in five of us will experience depression at some point in our lives, and the World Health Organisation predicts that the condition will be more disabling than cancer and AIDS within a decade. 8:00pm �� Emmerdale Zak’s lies snowball, devastating his family. Chas is furious that Cameron was with her instead of with Sarah at the hospital. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street A cowering Tyrone is left stunned by Kirsty’s violent temper. Pam is appalled by Kevin’s desperate suggestion. Tommy sacrifices his future to save a scheming Terry. 9:00pm �� Long Lost Family The show tells the story of 68-year-old Cherry Durbin, who grew up knowing she had been adopted at birth but did not find her mother until adulthood. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers is joined by Carol Vorderman for a life story that began with her being abandoned by her father when she was just three weeks old. 11:35pm �� The Cube

6:10am �� The Hoobs 6:35am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:30am ��According to Jim 7:55am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Secret Millionaire Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��How to Haggle for a House 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 12:35pm �� Kenwood Glamour Puds 1:05pm �� The Kitchen Pharmacy 1:15pm �� BT and Channel 4 Present... 1:20pm ��The Ladykillers 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons A very special episode that goes behind the scenes of the “actual” lives of the Simpson family, showing how the show got started, and how a silly feud almost tore the family apart. 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Mitzeee’s trauma continues as the harassment escalates. Wardy warns Scott to stay away from Annalise, leaving the starcrossed lovers racing against time to tell Rob the truth. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��Foxes Live: Wild in the City Short daily update to find out the latest fox developments from Foxes Live. 8:00pm �� The World’s Largest Snake In 2009, a group of passionate scientists stumbled upon the fossils of the Titanoboa: the biggest snake of all time. At 48 feet long and weighing well over a tonne. 9:00pm �� The Hoarder Next Door The Hoarder Next Door is a brand new series about Britain’s growing number of extreme hoarders and their quest to cure themselves with the help of friends and family. 10:00pm �� Extreme A and E 11:05pm ��Random Acts 11:10pm ��Bin Laden: Shoot to Kill

The World’s Largest Snake Channel 4 - 8:00 - 9:00 pm In 2009, a group of passionate scientists stumbled upon the fossils of the Titanoboa: the biggest snake of all time. At 48 feet long and weighing well over a tonne, the snake is one of the greatest discoveries since the T-Rex. The animal is a relative of

modern boa constrictors and lived in the rainforest of north-east Colombia 58-60 million years ago. The spectacular palaeontological find deep in the Cerrejon coal mines in Colombia has blown the doors off a lost period in prehistory. They had unexpectedly discovered a time

after the dinosaurs when the world was once again ruled by super-sized reptiles, battling it out to become the planet’s top predators; among them, the gargantuan Titanoboa. Using pin-sharp CGI, and scintillating cutting-edge science, the programme brings back the real lost world.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

3 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:45am �� Bananas in Pyjamas 9:00am ��Olivia 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Dangerous Drivers’ School 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: NY 3:15pm ��Chinese Food in Minutes 3:20pm ��They Come Back 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Police Interceptors 8:00pm �� World’s Scariest Flights 9:00pm ��The Restaurant Inspector 10:00pm �� Four Weddings and a Funeral

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��American Idol 9:00pm ��Olly: Life on Murs 10:00pm �� Celebrity Juice 10:45pm �� Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 11:15pm ��American Pie 2

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs Kevin McCloud meets architectural designer Lincoln Miles and his wife, artist Lisa Traxler, who want to build own their own home on the Isle of Wight. 9:00pm ��The Good Wife After being released from prison, Lockhart and Gardner client Colin Sweeney attempts to convince the shareholders of his former company to vote him back in as CEO. 10:00pm �� Father Ted 11:05pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:20am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:20am ��Terry and June 9:00am ��The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 10:05am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:15am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 12:55pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��Countrywise 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:50am ��The Saint 7:50am ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:20am ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:55am �� Police Stop! 9:55am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am ��Police, Camera, Action! 12:25pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 12:55pm ��Tommy Cooper 1:25pm ��Tommy Cooper 2:00pm �� Quantum Leap 3:00pm �� Cricket

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote Jessica is approached by her old friend Dorian Beecher, a shy poet, who begs her to help him. 8:00pm �� Monk 9:00pm ��Above Suspicion 10:00pm ��Above Suspicion 11:00pm ��Blue Murder

7:30pm ��Motorway Patrol 8:00pm �� Minder 9:00pm �� The Keeper Steven Seagal plays an LA cop who after nearly being killed by his greedy partner, flees to New Mexico to work as a bodyguard for the daughter of a wealthy businessman. 11:00pm �� Ned Kelly

The Hoarder Next Door Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm The Hoarder Next Door is a brand new series about Britain’s growing number of extreme hoarders and their quest to cure themselves with the help of friends and family. In each episode cameras follow the hoarders as they embark upon a

9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Location, Location, Location 11:05am ��Mogambo 1:25pm ��You Deserve This House 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��The Renovation Game 4:40pm.......................................A Place in the Sun 5:45pm.............................. Relocation, Relocation

7:00pm �� The Apprentice 8:00pm ��Don’t Blame the Dog Kim and Mark leave their dogs behind and travel to the Australian outback to spend a week working with sheep dogs. 9:00pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News In search of the weird, the wonderful and the just plain odd, Russell and his crack team plough through over 60 news channels from across the world, read over 140 newspapers and watch over 1,000 clips all for the viewers’ pleasure. 9:30pm ��Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Angry Boys Series in which Australian comedian Chris Lilley plays a host of characters, all confronting various dilemmas facing young men in the 21st century. 11:00pm �� Family Guy After Chris is expelled from school, he is sent to a boarding school that his grandfather Carter attended, but doesn’t exactly fit in. 11:45pm �� American Dad!

unique six week treatment programme with psychotherapist Stelios Kiosses and his team of expert de-clutterers. The first episode features 55-year-old Nigel Jennings in Liverpool, whose only place to sit at home is his mattress - and even that isn’t completely safe. Living in the midst of the

most extreme hoarding that psychotherapist Stelios Kiosses has ever seen, Nigel hasn’t been inside some of his rooms for over seven years. Will six weeks be enough for Stelios and the team to help Nigel deal with his painful past and eventually start to let go of some of his belongings?

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5:49pm ��FXM Presents 6:00am ��Meet the Spartans A fearless warrior king finds his daily routine of throwing people into pits disrupted by Persian invaders, giant robots and random celebrities. 7:37am ��FXM Presents 8:00am �� Hot Shots! Charlie Sheen stars as a pilot who joins an elite squad to take part in a dangerous mission, where he faces a tough struggle to live down his father’s bad reputation. 9:30am ��The Bullfighters Detectives Stan and Ollie go to Mexico on a case, and Stan looks like a famous bullfighter. 11:00am ��The Challenge An American and an Asian meet on an island to fight over a satellite on behalf of their countries. 12:30pm ��China Girl A U.S. newsreel cameraman loves a Chinese aristocrat in Mandalay before the Pearl Harbor assault. 2:20pm ��Soldier of Fortune A concerned wife enlists a smuggler to find her photographer husband, who has gone missing in communist China. 4:00pm ��The Barbarian and the Geisha Townsend Harris, the first American Consul to Japan in 1856, overcomes opposition from the Japanese authorities and is eventually permitted into Tokyo, where he falls in love with a geisha. 6:00pm ��Blood and Wine A burglar’s wife and son tire of his crooked ways and leave, but accidentally take with them a diamond necklace from his latest robbery : and he will stop at nothing to get it back. 8:00pm ��Break Up A woman trapped in an abusive relationship becomes the prime suspect for murder when her husband’s charred body is apparently discovered in a burnt-out car. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Slumdog Millionaire Oscar winnning drama from director Danny Boyle, following a Mumbai orphan who grew up in the slums (Dev Patel).

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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out on the town

A Cracker From Cork

Be careful, be very careful, I once had the temerity to say “Blonde and Irish, you really don´t have a lot going for you”. She never said a word, just grabbed me where it hurts, and she knew exactly were to go cos´ this lass has a pair of her own. Dee is one of the hardest working acts I have ever come across, her gruelling stint on St Paddys´ Day would leave other artists trembling. On stage she is like a big cat, sleek, blonde and sexy; she prowls and pounces, the set is hers, tough and provocative with a voice to match, you know this is the real deal. I have seen Dee tackle everything from Lady Gaga to old Irish standards and she sings with a passion unparalleled, whether it’s on the boards at Beverly Hills or with

the lads down at Shenanigans, she gives her all. A cracker from Cork at heart but not for the faint hearted, don´t poke her as she snaps, with a look and a riposte grown men have been known to crumble, but don´t let the façade completely fool you, she is a warm Irish lass and her talent and enthusiasm are undeniable, when most artists have popped off home she can still be found singing for fun after hours, but don´t get me wrong, this girl is a professional; book her and you get what it says on the label, a no nonsense blonde bombshell with a voice and personality second to none. Look out for our Dee on Coast FM’s Good Gig Guide and in The Tenerife Weekly.

Ta ta for now, Gordon King

Battleship (PG13) Showing daily at 15:30 131 min Action/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Starring

Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane Rihanna as Raikes Taylor Kitsch as Alex Hopper

SYNOPSIS:

Milton Bradley’s enduringly popular strategic board game makes the leap to the big screen in Hancock director Peter Berg’s epic sci-fi adventure pitting an international naval fleet against an army of invading aliens. When the two forces find themselves evenly matched, each must rely on strategy and cunning in order to emerge the victor. Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard head-up a cast also featuring Liam Neeson, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, and Tadanobu Asano.

THE GOOD GIG GUIDE Monday 30/4

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Act Becky

Tuesday 1/5

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Frank Farrow Cabaret Luke Carey

Wednesday 2/5

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Ged Bolton

Thursday 3/5

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Helena

Friday 4/5

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Michaela

Saturday 5/5 Sunday 6/5

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Claudio Cabaret Jasmin Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret John Ashford

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds Blaydon Races With Dave Michaels

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Cabaret Christine Kaye

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Shiel Campbell

Grandee O’Donnells With Gordon King later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Good Pub Grub

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Dion

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Little Bit of Shrek Cabaret Little Bit of Elvis

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Line dancing

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Pip Brown is Michael Buble

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With Ged Bolton, Willie Rae and Men in Black

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Big Bar Quiz Night 1,200 Euros up for grabs

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Michael J Grant

Beverley Hills, Los Cris Gordon King with Elvis Presley and Karen´s Kylie Minogue later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Fraser

Flicks Silencio Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Shanty & Pablo

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Derek Shannon & Gordon King Later in Shenanigans after Loony Toons

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris The Crazy World of Avril Taylor

Flicks, Silencio Amarillo Bay Dave Tracey + Cabaret

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Paul Mac with Pip Brown´s Back to the Future special

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King with Blues Bros later in Shenanigans

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay

Flicks, Silencio Amarillo Bay Sunday Roast Special 4 Top Cabaret´s

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Elaine Alexander

Shenanigans Gordon King After, Loony Toons, Freddy Kay, Dave Dean

All Football Shown

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Sparky Marky

All Football Shown

Corner Bar Dave Michaels

GOOD GIG GUIDE. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL GORDON KING ON 693 732 536

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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Take a little Crossword

time out

TIME OUT

Across 8. Reproduction 9. Ornamental coronet 10. Large wading bird 11. Fill with terror 12. Kiln for drying hops 13. Turned around 16. Slower than sound 19. City in central Texas 22. Hold as an opinion 23. Old stringed instruments 24. Alert 25. Ashore

Down 1. Of great value 2. Talks 3. Female fox 4. Bovine animals 5. Began 6. Half the diameter 7. Whimsically comical 14. Threshold 15. Evermore 17. Simple song 18. Refrigerator 20. Writer 21. Blessed 22. Meaningless chatter

Solutions to our puzzles can be found on page 46 This week’s clever quote

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so”.

- Douglas Adams

The brain train

MATHS CHALLENGE Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.

Sudoku

Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom

Fill in the black squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 through 9. An easy one

Word search

Find and circle all of the boats that are hidden in the grid. The words may be hidden in any direction.

The dotted lines indicate areas which also contain a non-repeating set of digits. These squares can be added together to produce the sums shown in the clues. A little tougher

Canoe Catamaran Dinghy Dory Ferry Galleon Hovercraft Hydrofoil Kayak Outrigger Pontoon Schooner Scow Skiff Steamer Submarine Trawler Whaler Yacht

Spot the 5 differences

Question One: Found in both Irish and Indian flag: what is the most sacred colour of Hinduism? Question Two: Which famous rock singer was born on the island of Zanzibar? Question Three: In Ancient Egypt what kind of bird is represented by Horus? Question Four: Which element is the most toxic known to man? Question Five: What is the basic currency of India? Question Six: What was Tonto’s horse called?

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 COMMUNITY MATTERS

Community matters

Written by Ken Cumming Pastor of Callao Salvaje Community Church

SHARING YOUR DREAM ‘’...That you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.’’ 1 Corinthians 1:10

To fulfil your dream you must know how to share it with others. And to do that successfully you must be able to connect with them in four ways. irst, you must connect with them logically. What people don’t believe, they don’t buy into. So your first step is to gain credibility. If you don’t, you will not be able to proceed any further. How do you do that? By communicating a realistic understanding of the situation as it is today. Every time you share your vision, one of the first things people will ask is ‘But what about...?’ If they don’t ask it out loud, they say it to themselves. And they will keep asking it until you have addressed all their concerns. This requires being extremely thorough when sharing your dream, and not dwelling on its positive benefits to the exclusion of the challenges. econd, you must provide a sound strategy they can believe in. If a dream seems too large and unattainable, people will become discouraged and quickly lose interest. When big dreams are broken down into smaller pieces and different pieces are given to talented individuals, the task seems more attainable and each person involved has an increased sense of personal ownership and involvement. There is a real art to communicating all this effectively, without getting bogged

down in details or boring people. You have to give enough information to satisfy most people, but not so much that you lose them. All this takes skill, pray’’...You... became my partners...’’ Philippians 4:15 hird, you must share your dream emotionally. Paul knew how to do this: ‘...You Philippians became my partners...what makes me happiest is the well-earned reward you will have...’ (vv.1517 TLB). Get people excited about the rewards. So show them the dream from their perspective! Ralph Waldo Emerson struggled, trying to wrestle a young calf into his barn. He was ready to give up when an Irish servant girl walked over to the calf, stuck her finger in its mouth, and the calf, associating the sensation with its mother, followed the girl into the barn. Pushing and prodding people doesn’t work. But if you help them to feel that they will benefit personally, they’re likely to go along. People do things for their own reasons, not yours. And their reasons are almost always tied to their emotions. Don’t be afraid to show people your heart. People buy into the dreamer before they buy into the dream. You may be able to communicate the idea of your dream in a few minutes, but it will take a lot longer to convince people of where your heart is. It will require patience. Of course you are enthusiastic, but you must adapt your stride to the slower pace of others. If you run too far ahead, you

will lose your power to influence them. Generally, people have to hear an idea at least seven times before they embrace it and call it their own. Ten percent of people are pioneers, 70 percent are settlers and 20 percent are antagonists. Make it your goal to win over the pioneers, to wait for the settlers and to leave the antagonists behind. But to share your dream with others, you must learn to do it. ‘’...Lord, open his eyes so he may see...’’ 2 Kings 6:17 ourth, you must share your dream visually. Only when people ‘see it,’ will they buy into it. People are in search of significance; they want to feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves. Author Studs Terkel observed: ‘Most of us are looking for a calling, not a job. Most of us...have jobs that are too small for our spirit.’ When a dream is truly great, it benefits everyone. Your job is to help people see what those benefits are. You need to help them connect with the opportunities for achieving personal growth, finding fulfilment and increasing their self-esteem. You need to provide them with every reason you have for joining. If you can’t offer them plenty of legitimate reasons for doing so, then you have no business trying to recruit them in the first place. Will this be easy? No, it never is. Even people who say they desire a dream often don’t want it. What they want is the result of the dream, not the price required to achieve it. Look at all

Tuesday 10.30am Little Angels Silencio Church Tuesday 11.00am Play Zone STCF Wednesday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje Friday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje the TV commercials for diets. People see before and after pictures, and they want the ‘after.’ But if you live your dream, practice integrity and achieve a degree of success, people will see what the dream has done for you and that will make them want it too. How will you know when you have successfully shared your dream with someone else? Because they will take ownership of it, add to it and want to make it even bigger and better. When that happens, your dream becomes bigger than you or your team.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Morning Services Las Americas Anglican Church Pueblo Canario 10.15am Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 11:00am Los Cristianos International Church Princesa Dácil Hotel 11:00am Costa del Silencio Silencio Church Coral Mar Square 11:00am Callao Salvaje Community Church Sueño Azul 11:00am Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Assembly Eng / Spanish 11:00am

SPANISH CORNER Welcome to our next issue of the Spanish corner. I hope you found last week’s words useful. Let’s continue with our progress. Adjectives

Some of the Local Church Sunday Evening Services Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 6:00pm Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Deutsch Bi Lingual Eng/Ger 2:00pm Las Americas The Living Room Veronica’s 6:00pm Some Other Church activities Many of the local churches also hold mid week services and Bible studies So phone the numbers below or check out the information on their websites. Songs of Praise Sorry this has now finished for the summer Back in October Tuesday Little Angels Mums & Tots Silencio Church 10:30am Tuesday Play Zone Mums & Tots STCF 11:00am Wednesday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am Friday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am The Living Room (Christian drop-in centre) Veronicas Las Americas 922 75 23 64 (above Burger King) Tue – Fri 4-7:00pm Saturday Market Free Literature stall at the Las Américas market. SHE Europe (Confidential HELPLINE for women in crisis) 690 964 145 Also if visiting the North of the Island Puerto del la Cruz Anglican Church North Tenerife Christian Fellowship, next to Post Office 11.30am

More details on all the above can be found on the following websites: www.christiansintenerife.co.uk covering most of the churches www.silenciochurch.org 922 78 40 17 / 609 565 528 www.tenerifechurch.com 922 74 20 45 / 679 660 277 www.callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 922 78 48 77 / 654 932 541 www.stcf.org 922 79 00 07 / 660 183 760 www.caictenerife.com 922 73 16 91 / 628 107 316 www.ntcf.org 922 35 10 11 / 677 349 088

Spanish

Phonetically

English

En guagua

En gwa-gwa

By bus

En bicicleta

En bee-sic-let-a

By bicycle

En coche

En co-chay

By car

En motocicleta

En mo-to-siclet-a

By motorcycle

En metro

En met-ro

By subway

En taxi

En tax-i

By taxi

En avión

En ab-e-on

By plane

En tren

By train

En barco

En bar-co

By boat

A pie

A pee-eh

On foot

See you next week!

Carlos.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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health, beauty & fashion

Your Hair & Beauty Advice Column by Jade & staff at The Perfect Gift Salon

Look after your treatments!

As professionals, we perform like professionals, but what really gets on our last nerve is when a client comes back after just a few days, complaining that the work that we have done is not as it was when they left our salons! Unfortunately we do have clients come back because the treatments do not look as they did when they left the salon, and the most irritating thing is that they feel less silly if they can blame the therapist, instead of being honest and telling us that they have not listened to our aftercare instructions and now need a retouch. The purpose of this week’s column is to explain that if you have a treatment done, or something attached that has not naturally grown; it is only a temporary attachment. You need to look after your new treatment, like you would with an expensive new pair of shoes. I actually had a woman come back to me in my salon after just 2 days of having a set of tips applied, yelling at me because she had one of her acrylic nails break off. Being a professional, I calmed her down,

explained not to worry as I would repair it, and sat her down. After looking at the nail, I could clearly see that it was the tip of the nail that had been sheared off and the rest of the nail to the cuticle was all still firmly attached. I then noticed the rest of her nails and could see that they were full of food and muck; this didn’t look to me like nails that had been looked after. I decided to quiz her a little and she told me, ¨I was just breaking my French stick and it snapped off!!¨ Tips are not tools; they are purely an accessory for our fingers to give them elegance and length. I have also had a lady come back to me because she had lost 3 of her nails after just 1 week, although she was lovely about it and apologised for wasting my time she still wanted to avoid paying to have the tips reapplied, again I delved a little deeper until she admitted that she was a pole dancer! All I could think was, that she was lucky that just the tips came off and not her entire nail bed. There are all kinds of different stories that we therapists hear,

but trust me, we can look at the damage and can immediately see what has caused it. There is no wonder that when I have finished applying the Hollywood lash extensions, that my clients are over the moon with their new look, they are stunning and very natural looking, so what really annoys me is when someone comes back to me because their lashes are all cluttered and have gaps, and although I am always very clear on how to keep the lashes looking their best, and the do´s and don’ts, clients still apply mascara, or fiddle with them. I had been assured by one lady that she doesn’t fiddle with them while picking them as she told me. The Hollywood lashes do not need mascara, that is why they are fitted in the first place, to give a long, thick natural appearance, and again, they are only a temporary attachment and not the actual lash. Mostly therapists, put everything they have into assuring they perform their best work, so that their clients leave their salons happy, and it’s quite infuriating that after the care and attention that has been put in, clients still don’t look after them. Hair extensions are very pricy and time consuming to have applied, so why is that that some women let the hair get matted,

twisted and loose more than necessary? Because they don’t listen to the aftercare! I always send clients away with a list of aftercare instructions but still they treat them as they would their own hair, and fail to remember that again, they are an attachment, they need to take more care and attention to keep them looking their best for the months that they are designed to. Most importantly, if you are not happy with a service, you should speak up before you leave the salon. And unless you can truthfully say that you had looked after your treatment as advised, go back to your salon and be honest, I’m sure they will understand and do what they can to repair the damage. You have paid to look great, so look after your new look. And remember, if you are not happy with the service tell your salon, and if you are happy, tell others! For beauty and hair advice, email us at:

How To Apply Fake Tan Properly Sunbathing and sunbeds cause the fine lines of premature ageing which lead ultimately to skin cancer, though no woman wants to pale into significance - which is where the faux-glo comes in. But if you’re like Lauren Goodger, who was snapped in Miami recently working this season’s hottest shade - Tangerine Tango (usually only centric to Blackpool beach), you will understand the trauma fake tan can have on us ladies - blotched jobs, creosoted palms, scary streaks and in Lauren’s case, a positively nuclear glow. Luckily for Lauren (and you), St. Tropez celebrity tanner and body finish expert Fiona Locke has given her professional tips on how to avoid making a David Dickenson of yourself. Here are her tan commandments: Do the prep work According to Locke, the biggest mistake most women make when self-tanning is not properly preparing their skin for self-tanner. Thoroughly exfoliate your skin - this will get rid of dry patches, which absorb too

much self-tanner and cause blotching. Locke also suggests applying a light moisturiser to extra dry areas (knees, elbows, cuticles) to prevent them from absorbing too much self-tanner. Start from the bottom up Apply a generous amount of selftanner from your toes to your knees in a long, sweeping motion. This will ensure the tanner goes on evenly and streak-free. Then work from your knees to your hips and up the rest of your body.

the.perfect.gift@hotmail.com Now you have to wait at least six to eight hours before you take a shower, swim or perspire excessively. Wash your hands immediately after you are finished applying. If you make a mistake, don’t panic If you catch the problem within four hours, use a self-tanning remover to correct the problem. If you don’t notice the mistake until later, soak your skin in a warm bath with several drops of baby oil to soften the skin, and then exfoliate the area with a body scrub.

Then your DIY dye is complete.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 health, beauty & fashion

THE GAIA APOTHECARY QUALIFIED MEDICAL HERBALIST INDIGESTION AND HEARTBURN by Meg Glaister Indigestion and heartburn can be caused by a number of things i.e. bad posture (slouching over a mobile phone or computer for long periods of time), hurried and irregular meals, overeating, the wrong kind of food, lack of exercise, stress and anxiety; to name some of them. It is also very important to chew the food thoroughly to initiate the digestive process. Sometimes, by looking closely at

your eating habits and changing them accordingly, you can help to eliminate the problem. There are also many herbs which will help the digestive system to get itself back to normal whilst you implement the necessary diet and lifestyle changes. Food and drinks to avoid for people who are susceptible to indigestion and heartburn are coffee, black tea, alcohol, vinegar, dark meat and pork, shellfish, artificial sweeteners, white bread and spices.

How To Get A Body Like Rihanna

Barbadian beauty Rihanna is toned, muscular and, most of all, utterly gorgeous. Want to get a body like hers? We asked the experts how it’s done. Super-skinny is so 2011. In fact, it’s probably been out of fashion for longer than that now, replaced by curvy yet (crucially) athletic frames pioneered by the likes of Beyoncé, Shakira and, perhaps most famously of all, Rihanna. The singer is lean but not gaunt, well-fed but not fat, muscular but not masculine. In short, she’s fabulous, and most women would kill with their bare hands to get a physique that mirrors hers. Personal trainer Gavin Walsh says: “Rihanna is in great shape. She’s slim, toned and still has all the curves in the right places. It’s a very achievable look without having to spend hours in the gym, or suffering too much self-deprivation.” Those thighs are achievable, you say? Sign us up! Here’s a deeper insight into how to train, and look like, RiRi. Globetrotting Workouts First of all, what is the goal of Rihanna’s training, and how often does she work out? Walsh explains: “For the most part, Rihanna trains three times a week to help maintain her toned physique. However, I’ve learned that when she is preparing to go on tour she ramps this up to five sessions a week to ensure she is physically ready to perform

vigorous routines night after night. “Rihanna obviously has good genes and the goal of her training will be to simply stay in great shape. From time to time she may need to pick things up when she has been partying, but because of her natural body shape her training and nutrition will only need tweaking slightly to get her back on track.” Being a global superstar means a lot of travelling, so Rihanna will have had to learn how to train while on the move. “Because she travels a lot, most of her workouts are structured in a way that they can be carried

And The Bride Wore… Erm, Red?

It’s bridal season and all the big name designers are already presenting their offerings for spring. Vera Wang is by far one of the biggest names in the wedding world, and many of her gowns have been seen on celebrities including Kim Kardashian, Chelsea Clinton and Avril Lavigne. For with her latest bridal collection Wang has torn up the rule book by showing an array of dramatic red

wedding gowns which were far from traditional. The designer presented nine red gowns in her collection with the idea that some traditions are meant to be broken. The dresses are undoubtedly gorgeous but what it has left us wondering what kind of statement a red wedding dress would make? Or maybe red is the new white... Take a look at the dresses.

The best herbs to choose from are Meadowsweet (ulmaria), Peppermint (menta) Fennel (hinojo) and aniseed (anis). These will settle the stomach, reduce acidity and speed up the healing process. Make into an infusion using one or more of the herbs, 30 grams if using one herb or 15grams each if using two and add 600ml of hot water, leave to infuse for 15mins, strain and drink when needed. This will keep in the fridge for 3 days. A small glass of pineapple juice half an hour before meals will help to stop acid forming. If stress or anxiety is the cause of the indigestion and heartburn, yoga and/or

meditation are an excellent way to calm the mind and body, thus enabling the digestive system to do its work unhindered. Herbs to use as infusions in these instances are Balm (melisa), Chamomile (manzanilla), valerian (valeriana) and Rosemary (romero) made up the same way as above. If you have any health topics you wish me to discuss on this page or would like a free 15 minute discussion to see if Herbal medicine can help your condition please feel free to contact Meg Glaister DBTh MIRCH (The Gaia Apothecary) on 649529703 or email gaiaapothecary@ hotmail.com

out anywhere, be that backstage or in her hotel room,” says Walsh. “These workouts are a combination of cardio and resistance training, involving exercises that need little or no equipment. Although those wanting the Rihanna look should be aware that her body is naturally slim and that her vigorous dance routines are also an extension of her workout programme.” How You Can Mimic RiRi The good news about training to get a bod like Bajan beaut Rihanna is that the sessions will be short. The bad news, however, is that they will also be intense. Walsh says: “The workouts that Rihanna squeezes into her hectic schedule are often as short as 25 minutes. That sounds great, but the catch is the intensity. If you have little time, then you need to train hard to see the benefits. “Her workouts will include a combination of cardiovascular and resistance exercise that increase heart rate while at the same time toning muscles. Rihanna uses several exercises to make sure she keeps her body in check, but with limited time these are often exercises that can be performed anywhere, such as jumping jacks, squats, lunges, press-ups and tricep dips.” Before embarking on a training regime like the singer’s, you will need to make sure you already have a base level of fitness - don’t jump in if you haven’t worked up a sweat in months or even years. Walsh continues: “It’s also important to remember that Rihanna is 5’8” and weighs around nine stone, or 57kg. Everyone is different, so her figures should only act as a guideline and shouldn’t

be overanalysed. But the training that Rihanna does, anyone can do, because she uses mainly body weight exercises, and there really is no excuse when you consider that you can do them in your own home.” Of course, you can work out all you want, but if you’re not eating right, then you won’t lose weight or tone up. Nutritionist Katie Peck says: “We can assume that Rihanna does not restrict her energy intake as her body looks healthy. For a woman to have a figure like hers, she would need to eat regularly and have a healthy balance of fats, carbohydrates and protein. Many women who are very thin do not get enough energy from a healthy, balanced diet.” Walsh adds: “In terms of Rihanna’s diet, she’ll have a relatively high-protein diet compared to most people, and will cut back on starchy carbs like pasta, rice, bread and pastries.” Unfortunately, the vast majority of us will never get to enjoy the spoils of being a pop icon. But, by following the advice above and carrying out workouts like the one suggested by Walsh below, we can at least have a body that looks as good on the dance floor. The following workout should take about 25 minutes. Repeat the sequence five times: 100 x jumping jacks 50 seconds of burpees (squat thrusts) 50 seconds of squats 50 seconds of press-ups (with hands on table if needed) 50 seconds of lunges 50 seconds of tricep dips

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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WILDE’S WORLD / WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE?

WILDE’S WORLD Quirky headlines from around the globe this week. Starting in France and the capital Paris where a confused driver drove down the steps of a metrostation, after mistaking it for an underground car park.

The 26-year-old managed to brake in time to stop the vehicle on the steps, leaving the back wheels sticking out on the pavement. “There’s a sign saying ‘Haussmann Parking’ right in front... I made a mistake,” said the driver, who was

Where’s your helmet? Dull finds Boring twin Dull is a tiny village of 60 or so people situated on Tay valley near Aberfeldy, Scotland. Boring is a town of 13,000 in Clackamas County, Oregon. Both, you might say, have quite ‘ u n i n te re s t i n g ’ names but the two communities have decided to formally twin themselves to each other, meaning that when you pass the sign for Dull it’ll say, ‘Dull, twinned with Boring.’ Anyway, this whole situation was the brainchild of Scottish cyclist Elizabeth Leighton, who happened to be riding through Oregon when she discovered Boring and had a brainwave. And as for why these towns are called what they’re called, well, that’s because Boring was named after William H. Boring, an early resident of the area, and Dull’s name comes from a Gaelic word for either ‘meadow’ or ‘snare’, Although both places share unusual names at least they are happy, unlike the residents in F***ing in Austria who last week have gone to vote to change the name to Fugging. A spokesman for the council has said “we do not have a problem with the name but it seems the F***ing residents are not happy.” Ask a bloke what a need is, and generally he will tell you it’s something he REALLY wants, normally something tangible. A woman’s needs tend to be more ethereal! Things that touch the heart rather than the wallet! omen are born with this inbuilt desire, men seem to have to lose their wants before they realise the difference. Prior to moving to our little island, I was fortunate to be moderately successful back in blighty. I was in a position to afford luxuries such as gardeners, cleaners, decorators, in fact anything that freed up my time to concentrate on my work. Having my car washed, ironing done and so forth. Things I thought would make my wife at the time happy. s a man I believed that by releasing her of any of these burdens, it would make her happy. It was only after losing all of the above that I realised what she actually wanted was my time. There is a joy to having your partner iron your clothes, to sharing a water fight whilst washing the car or even spending a Sunday afternoon picking out colours for a room, and then spending the weekend transforming your abode. This was lesson one that I failed to see! Lesson two was when it all dried up, and I lost all of the luxuries and indulgencies. It was only when everything was gone, strangely enough including the wife, that I realised how little I needed any of them. I learned to find joys in the simple things in life again. Things I had forgotten to remember. When

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A Romanian policeman pulled over a woman who was riding pillion naked on a motorcycle - and booked her for failing to wear a helmet. The woman was not wearing a stitch but the traffic officer said it was the only offence that he had authorisation to book her for. Motorists got out their smartphones to take photographs of the eye-catching biker who was pulled over in Constanta. And, after accepting her punishment, she donned a helmet before continuing her journey - still naked. “The officer was a traffic cop and the only traffic offence she’d committed was in not wearing a helmet,” one witness told Romanian media. “So he gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on,” they added.

named only as Johan. No-one was hurt in the incident, which immediately drew a crowd of onlookers. Many took pictures of the car - a Dacia Duster - stranded on the stairs at the Chaussee d’Antin-La Fayette metro station.

Majazzle

And finally

A strange but heart-warming story to finish when a US man found a football washed up on the beach in Alaska. On the ball was some Japanese writing and David Baxter got his wife

Wants Aren’t Always Needs

I can’t see the Queen sporting one though.

Jubilee celebrations round the corner how about a limited edition vagazzle? Saucy website Lovehoney.co.uk wanted to celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s 60th anniversary on the throne with a sexy souvenir. So they launched the ‘Majazzle’ - a package where women can decorate their private parts by sticking on crystal decorations in the shape of a crown. The vajazzle became a nationwide sensation after beauty salon owner Amy Childs performed them on The Only Way is Essex.

By Dave Michaels

I was 18 I had an operation, a dangerous one that potentially could have seen me awaken with no hearing. Please bear in mind that music has always been a huge part of my life. But instead of fretting over never playing the piano, guitar or drums again, instead of worrying about my budding DJ career, I thought instead of birds singing, and waves crashing on a shore. This might sound a tad wimpy, but try it. Imagine never hearing it again. When I moved to the rock, I moved with very little and had even less, but what I did have was a new appreciation of life. I had no SKY dish; my evening entertainment was a walk along the shoreline, to engage in conversation or to revel in a magnificent sunset. If I was to say I had needs now, they would probably be them. Whenever I am in a country where I cannot see the ocean now, I do genuinely feel it missing. Needing is not seen as manly. We prefer to call it sharing (60/40) of course! We are ‘the man’! owadays I ask very little from the people, the friends and family with whom I share my life. All I ask of them is to be honest, to be

The driver was later asked by French police to do an alcohol test, which he passed.

happy with what they have but always strive for more where possible. o value and appreciate and be valued and appreciated in return. “To be respectful, and respect in return.” Even in fair-weather friends, these are not unreasonable requests, and by choosing the people I call friend carefully, I think my life has become richer than it ever was with sports cars and cruise ships. Normally it is the people who open up their hearts that get hurt the most. People who, by their nature, give without expecting to receive. The problem is peoples’ feelings do sometimes get hurt! Normally through an ill-considered act of thoughtlessness. This is human nature. Pets on the other hand are very lucky that they don’t have consciences like this. They may remember people who commit atrocities against them, but generally, a dog will always welcome you with a wagging tail, not wanting to know where you have been for the last 5 hours. They are at their happiest with a bone to chew, a tail to chase, or a simple, loving pat on the head. Having moved here, I decided I wanted to

to translate it. The owner was a sixteen year old Miski Murakami whose name and school was written on the ball alongside a good luck message from his classmates. Miska had lost the ball a year earlier when it was swept to sea during the Japanese Tsunami. Mr Baxter went to the media to find the owner and has now made arrangements to return the ball to the 16 year old. Catch more strange stories on Wilde at the weekend Sat 12-3 only on Coast FM. get involved in some of the charities on the island, to do my bit, if you will. In recent times I have admittedly not found as much time to do so, but it still amazes me how some people, much busier than I, still manage to be there for their chosen charities; this is more than dedication, it is vocational. The people who manage these charities rely on something that encompasses all of the above in two words. GOOD WILL! Be it financial, volunteering, or just the support of those who recognise that what they are doing is for those who can’t do for themselves. They rarely ask for anything else in return, not even gratitude. So the next time you here of a charity event, pop in, just your presence would make a difference….. Bums on seats puts bums on seats! If you can’t make it, then tell a friend or click a ‘like’ button. If you can’t do either of these things or choose to ridicule the people who do try and make an effort, or thwart their attempts to better the world, then the chances are, when your time of need comes, and you feel alone, it’s probably because you are! omeone recently sent me a little food for thought message: Treat everyone who hurts you like sandpaper Sure at the time, it will hurt as they rub you up the wrong way But in the end, you will be polished And they will be all used up!! Respect of each other goes along way, and in the words of Shakespeare, “discretion is the better part of valour”, or in the words of my dad, “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 CALDERS CONFESSIONS

Picked on

Calders Confessions Calder spent twelve years working as PA and Co-presenter with Jeremy Kyle on various radio stations and has now joined the team at Coast FM where he answers listeners´dilemmas each Sunday night on the airwaves. We are also very grateful to have him here, answering your questions and queries as part of the Tenerife Weekly team. If you have an issue you can`t overcome or just need general help and confidential advice, why not email Calder: calder@coastfmtenerife.com

I used to love my job but now I feel like I’m really being picked on. I work in a bakery with a load of other women and most of us are divorced or separated so we used to have a real laugh, taking the mick out of each other, and going out together at weekends. But now I’ve met a man on the internet so I like staying in with him some Friday nights. They’ve started making snide comments about my boyfriend, and say I’m and I’ve let them down because I don’t go out much with them any more. I thought they’d be happy for me after being single for ten years but now it’s making me feel so miserable. Bev Don’t listen to them Bev, to me it sounds like plain old fashioned jealousy. Good on you for finding a bloke you can have some fun with. You should tell your mates that you deserve a little happiness and if that causes them a problem, they shouldn’t consider themselves as your mates at all! So many people get wrapped up in jealousy and end up making some poor souls life a misery. If you let this situation go on, that’s exactly what’s going to happen to you. Reassure the girls that you still have plenty of time for them but that you also want to live a little yourself! In fact, why not suggest that your bloke tags along with your crowd one Friday night? That could be the perfect way to introduce him to your friends as well as keeping them happy. Good luck, just remember that life is for living and you’re doing absolutely nothing wrong!

Boyfriends Spilt Personality

My boyfriend has some kind of split personality. He’s the most perfect loving man some of the time but then suddenly he’ll switch and scream and shout at me. He criticises me so much I feel worthless. I love the ‘normal’ him so much and miss him when he’s not around. Whenever I try to talk to him about this he just denies his behaviour. It’s driving me crazy! Kayley, 24

It’s a difficult one Kayley as its your boyfriend who has to make the change rather than you! What you need to do is look at this relationship and decide whether or not you can accept the rough with the smooth? I have to admit that what

Bad Dreams Keep Me Awake

For the past few months, I’ve been suffering from really bad dreams. I know these can be triggered by bad events in your life, but nothing is wrong in mine, only that I feel a bit bored with everything. The dreams are so bad that I’m starting to stay awake all night to stop myself from having them. Now my job and my relationship are suffering because I’m so tired and grumpy. What’s going on? Laura, 29

I’m no expert on dreams Laura, perhaps a psychotherapist could help you with that? What’s obvious here is that you’re going about things in entirely the wrong way and actually making the problem worse. Make an appointment with your doctor and explain the situation to him.

you’ve described so far makes the whole thing sound like an absolute nightmare. Are you really prepared to let this guys mood swings affect your happiness and sense of self worth? Sit down with him and explain that you’ve come to the end of your tether. Tell him you love him dearly but despite the fact that he seems to be in denial over the way he treats you, you’re simply not happy. Ultimately, you have make him see that he WILL lose you unless he gets help with his problem. I’m sure its scary for you and it will probably feel like your taking a huge risk here but the alternative is to carry on accepting this and I know that’s not what you want!

Regardless of the root cause here, unless you start getting a decent nights sleep, you won’t have a hope of tackling this problem. Hopefully, your GP will be able to prescribe some medication or suggest some off the shelf remedies to help you drift into a deep sleep. At the moment, this is a self fuelling situation, the self imposed sleep derivation is only making matters worse and allowing your anxiety to grow. The human mind is still a mystery to us all in many respects but surely you can see that without sleep and a whole bunch of work and relationship worries, things will never improve for you. Make an appointment right away and I’m sure that over time, with the right approach, you will be able to get through this.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 PSYCHE / HOROSCOPES

Mind, Body AndwithSpirit Liana Mẽ Aly Ah

• International Intuitive • Life Enhancement Coach • Spiritual Mentor

Mindfullness

Living a mindful life is a way of being, that means you are living in the present moment: conscious of being in the present moment, instead of being haunted, by the past. Situations, memories or people dragging you back to a past you can’t change is destructive and non productive. Living in the future, if it is fear based about what might happen, creating stories in your head, which grow out of proportion are all ways of taking you away from the present moment. Being mindful means your consciousness is in the present moment. One way of staying present is to have an attitude of gratitude. Finding something to be grateful for each day in your life. From the moment you wake up, being grateful for the beautiful day or for the person that is beside you, or many other things that may come into your mind. If you practise gratitude, it lifts your vibration and you then operate on a peace level. Mindful meditating is a lovely way to stay in the present moment. You may ask why do it at all? Well to stay in the present moment means you can stop the hamster wheel of thoughts you repeat over and over all day long, from day to day. By creating this space of mindfulness you are then able to feel relaxed and enter into a space where you can then receive your higher guidance. Walking is a lovely way to do this. All you do, as you take each step, hopefully in a nice environment, is to be mindful as you place your feet down. Just taking your focus to each step, as you place it, one in front of the other. You may feel your mind begin to race a little, but as with anything, if you practise, you will get better at it. Keeping your mind on your feet, and bringing your attention to them, if your mind wanders, will clear your head of thoughts, and bring you to a place of calm inside. When you find this place of calm, it is usually because you are in the present moment, your NOW moment, instead of dramatising about a fearful future or hanging onto a painful past.

When I am coaching someone, I usually get them to write a list of things they are grateful for, and it is a great distraction from the common issues, or difficult experiences that the client may be experiencing. It also has the effect of showing them that there are some great things in their lives. All this lifts the energy of the client and places them in a better place to deal with their challenges. Being mindful allows us to be in a place where we are respectful, kind and aware of what we say to each other. Being in a place of functioning in the Now, allows us to be our true, authentic selves, speaking our truth and communicating in a way which allows others to be authentic and true to us. Valuing our now moments, whatever is going on in our lives, brings us to a place of peace. This week saw my world turn upside down. I had choices, throughout all of the stress and traumatic situations. Being made homeless and not knowing where I was going to live would have sent many a person into a state of panic, but somehow I felt this calm inside. No fear and no panic. Instead, thanks to a wonderful friend who has shown me kindness till the bigger picture is revealed, found me walking the dogs along the beach in Las Américas, looking out to the sea, feeling very grateful for where I am and how my life is working out. How lucky I am, and grateful I am for wonderful friends and the Tenerife sunshine? So you see, being mindful and in the present moment allows us to see the gold in any situation! If you need help in any way to work on yourself, I am available for sessions on a one to one basis. Make a choice today, to start to respond, and be happy and peaceful inside. I am also available for readings, which are insightful and intuitive. I find out where you have problems and then with guidance, lead you forward to solution based actions, that improve and motivate your life. Contact me on 672 994 666 or lovieart@ gmail.com More info on www.liana.lovie.com

Until next week, LIANA MẼ ALY AH

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS I am Spiritual agony aunt, and will answer any concerns or questions anyone may have about their difficulties in life or curiosity into the spiritual field. Or if anyone wants to give me topics to discuss here, please contact me, liana@tenerifeweekly.es

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Weekly Horoscopes

Aries - Mar 21 - Apr 19

So now the Sun is in Taurus and thoughts turn to what makes you feel comfortable - and yes, this could coincide with the desire to purchase something that enhances your home. It might also prompt more thought (midweek) as to how you can better invest in yourself. Is it possible there’s a talent that’s insufficiently well-explored? Whilst you’re probing this, you could attract the very situation that would put you in increased contact with someone already on this path. And yes, before the end of the week you could have found yourself a mentor. There’s another possibility too: those looking for a new home or who want to secure their present one may find a place that requires work (another platform for your creativity) and is at the right price.

Taurus - Apr 20 - May 20

Recall that from Jan 24th to April 14th Mars was retrograde. It’s now moving forward as the Sun moves through your sign. And yes, this could be a week of all systems go. If you’ve been fighting a battle of some kind and haven’t known if you were winning, by the end of this week results could surprise others but affirm to you that your methods are working. True, there may be some months still to go. Now though - and especially in the latter half of the week - progress should be obvious. You may also find that your expertise is called upon: one of those situations where someone wants to tap into real experience rather than speak to an expert who sounds as though they’re theorizing. That ‘team’ theme plays again - and on Thursday you could find yourself playing a key role once more.

Gemini - May 21 - June 20

This should prove a fast-moving week -especially if you are involved with a team or organisation. Though change may have been in their air here for some time, you could be taken by surprise by the speed of developments. It wouldn’t be surprising if these knocked you off your axis midweek. It might help to know that the coming solar eclipse (May 22nd) is in your sign and that this is indicative of the start of a new chapter. What happens this week could be seen as the prelude. Those born under the Cardinal signs of Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn might seem to be the drivers. It’s as likely that your contribution will make clear that without your expertise and contacts, their plans would be jeaporized.

Cancer - June 21 - July 22

Think back to late January (when Mars began its retrograde period). Since then it may have felt as though for every two steps forward you took one back. Not just you either: even partners may have felt progress limited. It’s was ‘all change’ last week. Now it’s even more so. It might be as well to be prepared for being in the spotlight. It’s possible too that you’ll be tipped off (midweek) that an offer is on its way. This could arrive before the weekend - and just as those close to you are dealing with fast developments too. In short, this could prove one wild and crazy week - at the end of which you feel to have matured in such a way that you have more confidence and feel able to tackle what lies ahead.

Leo - July 23 - Aug 22

Virgo - Aug 23 - Sept 22

For a moment, imagine winning the lottery. What would you do? Though there’s no guarantee you’ll win anything this week, it’s very likely you’ll have reason to think out of your comfort zone. This action may be thrust on you by someone born under one of the Fire signs who appears to have attracted more excitement than they can really handle. They may need your support - and discretion. There’s a further possibility though: and that’s that you’ll be introduced to a project that’s very cutting edge, has already gathered momentum and now needs someone to organise what could become a muddle if action isn’t taken quickly. You might also, around Thursday, be asked to consider a partnership option that has some risk attached but which could be exciting and rewarding.

Libra - Sept 23 - Oct 22

This could be a week of high profile meetings. It’s very likely you - and your ideas - will be in the spotlight on Thursday. Preparation is key. Yet this too may be demanding. You perhaps need to know more about how a system works. A quick training review early in the week would surely help. It might be suggested that you undertake a journey and speak on behalf of a team. This should find you in your element (prompting you to think about what you’ll wear and how you could update your image to something more dynamic). At a different level your fighting spirit may be needed to support someone close who may feel out of their depth on a technical or medical matter. Your ability to decode should come in useful midweek.

Scorpio - Oct 23 - Nov 21

The really important thing is that you don’t overdo it. Though other people’s actions might energise you at the start of the week, they could as easily zap your energy levels by Thursday - and most probably because they haven’t declared just how much has to be done. Extraordinary events following discussions midweek may lead to exciting developments - and yet another alliance. It seems highly probable that your profile will be increased and that you’ll be asked to join a team. The big question for you is ‘do you have the necessary time and physical resources’? Given that several short journeys may be involved you perhaps ought to factor in whether or not these would offer time to recharge your batteries or whether they too would be stressful.

Sagittarius - Nov 22 - Dec21

Later this week a very special Grand Trine involving all three of the Fire signs (including your own) takes place - and yes, your world could be turned upside down. News from far away and most likely concerning those whom you feel have a special tie to you are likely to be involved and yes, you might consider making a special journey. If that’s not possible, then expect the phone lines to be extra busy! It would obviously help if you were in fit mental and physical condition. That’s another big theme presently - the need to detoxify and to get into peak performance. Making adjustments to diet and schedule seems more likely than not - though it may be taxing turning away overly rich foods midweek. Financial matters may require attention midweek.

Capricorn - Dec 22 - Jan 19

This week a triangle between the Sun, Mars and Pluto (all in Earth signs like your own) may be indicative of you feeling your power-base is strengthening. Coinciding with environmental changes (desks and furniture moved around), a strong energy shift seems likely. It’s possible too that when Mercury squares Pluto midweek you’ll have an offer to think through. There’s another triangle forming too and this one could bring with significant developments in your financial affairs. One way or another then this week could bring profound changes in both your family and working life. A strong partnership theme is at work also. It’s just possible that something which has been a ‘second string to your bow’ will come through with results that exceed expectations.

Aquarius - Jan 19 - Feb18

It would be fascinating to know what puts a spring in your step this week. Developments on both the family and property front may be key. It’s possible that you’ll decide to join a group who share one of your particular passions. It might even be that your home becomes a sort of ‘mission control’. Whatever, it appears your social world will expand. Health matters too may be on your agenda. Whether this is concern about your own condition or that of someone close, you may find you’re visiting health care professionals more often. Before the weekend it’s someone who practices an old but ‘alternative’ medicine who could affect you greatly however. Another theme concerns secrets (or legacies) and might even require that you obtain legal advice.

Pisces - Feb 19 - Mar20

Transport could be a big theme this week. Perhaps because you want to get rid of books - or maybe buy a bookshelf - or another large furniture item that would enhance your living space? It wouldn’t be too surprising either if someone close suggested you join forces and cut costs. It’s possible too that you’ll hear more about an event planned for July and which could really do with your input. With your entrepreneurial flair rising, it may be that you have ideas as to how capital could be raised. Perhaps most interesting of all though is the high probability of developing alliance with someone who feels as strongly as you do about a local issue and who senses that by working together you could bring about a change in planning.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 PETS’ PAGE

Pets’ Corner

Welcome to Tenerife Weekly’s Pets’ Page

My name is Steph and some of you may have heard me on Coast FM each Thursday when I try to find good homes for fantastic pets. Each week this page will be filled with both useful and entertaining information to keep you up to date with the world of pets here in the Canaries.

The Pink, The Cute and the Cuddly

I am officially in love! I made the mistake last weekend of watching a program about tiny animals and on it was featured the fairly newly developed breed of Teacup Pigs. Now, while I don’t condone breeding animals for “cuteness” I have to say that these little guys really tugged my heart strings! How to convince my husband that we should get one??! Sadly, however, people have been buying these little bundles and then after a year

rejecting them as they have suddenly outgrown their “tiny teacup status” as they were initially mis-sold under the title of Teacup Pigs. Maybe the craze is not such a wise move after all..... It even got to the point where vouchers for new-born piglets were being given to celebrities in party bags at events and functions! A lady who works as a Pamela Anderson lookalike has taken it upon herself to take in these, now large lumps and give them a

Acción del Sol’s weekly news

These are two of many more gorgeous abandoned dogs who were brought into the refuge last week.

Potter is a male, 3-month-old Canarian Podenco. He’s very timid and needs lots of TLC and good food as he’s very malnourished.

And Susi, who is a 3-year-old female Yorkshire terrier, who has the typical

sticking out Canarian teeth, but she’s a little darling. Please do call the refuge on the number below if you are interested in either of the dogs or any of the many other dogs at Acción Del Sol. Last week saw an attempted break in at the refuge, the fences were cut in the hope that some of the rescue dogs would escape; luckily none of the dogs escaped, they preferred the safety of the refuge. A denuncia was made and the Guardia inspected the damage done by the culprits. Security has been very much increased to protect the dogs from further break ins. If you would like more information on the German registered charity Aktiontier then please do visit their website www. aktiontier.org . This will give you an insight into the good work they do all over Europe with many different species of animals. Please call 922 778 630 for more information, or if you would like to help out in anyway, maybe even a bit of dog walking if you have a bit of time, towels and blankets are always needed for the dogs if you have any to spare. They would be very much appreciated by our four legged friends. The refuge is situated at Poligono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are and it is open to the public Monday - Friday 3-6pm.

Useful Numbers

Dog & Cat Grooming 628 859 973/938 023 000 If you find an abandoned dog: Arona - 010 • Everywhere else – 112

24 Hour Vets: Fanabe - 617 483 707 El Medano - 607 346 183 Playa San Juan – 922 832 344

The Little Dogs’ Home

wonderful life with her. To me these creatures are beautiful, big or small, but it goes to show how fashion and media can create yet more problems in the animal world.

Can you help one of the featured animals? Have you an article of interest? Does your pet deserve a feature? Drop me an email at vetpetcare@hotmail.com

If you are looking to adopt a small to medium dog then why not give Chris and Babs and call at The Little Dogs’ Home, based in Atogo, just past Chafiras? They can be contacted on 672 917 193

Paws for Thought:

Sunday 29th April at 6pm sees K9’s Skating Disco at Skateworld in Adeje. All welcome so come along and support the dogs while having a great evening out as well! Also Pinky and Perky, the two kittens mentioned a couple of weeks back, are still looking for their forever homes. If you can help then please pay the kennels a visit. Just head up from Las Chafiras and take the road on the right just after the Dorada factory.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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gardening

How To Build A Garden Pond

Pharmacy information and locator (24 hours) 922 282 424 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

Tour operators (in alphabetical order) Cosmos 922 793 802

Thomas Cook 922 757 409

Thomson

922 798 607

TUI

922 777 720

Transport Buses

TITSA (Tenerife’s public bus company) 922 531 300

4. Check the depth of your marginal shelf with your potted aquatic plants. The surrounding edge of the pond should be around 2-3cm above the pot’s rim.

Useful Numbers

The “Bono-Bus” discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30% Radio taxis 922 641 112 922 747 511 Note: taxi cabs display a “SP” (servicio público) plate on the rear of the car.

National ferry services

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) For flights from Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights Flight information 902 404 704 (line open 24 hours) Airport information 922 759 000 Tourist information 922 392 037

922 176 002

TFN - Tenerife North Airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some international and mainland services Flight information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General information 922 635 800

Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252

Tourist offices (in alphabetical order) Costa Adeje 922 750 633

El Médano La Laguna

922 631 194

La Orotava

922 323 041

Las Galletas

922 730 133

Los Cristianos 922 757 137

Los Llanos de Aridane 922 401 899

Multi-lingual police central office

902 102 112 Call this number and ask for an English operator to make an official report or complaint. Local police 922 757 006 Red Cross Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

094 Hospital Las Américas, Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022 Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000

Irish Consulate

Playa de las Vistas

British Consulate

922 796 668

922 745 671

922 787 011

Address: Plaza Wayler, 8, 1o, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 286 863 Opening hours: Mon-Fri, 8:30am - 1:30pm British Consul: Maria Leng British Vice-Consul Helen Keating

922 386 000

Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 289 394

Santiago del Teide 922 860 348

Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) 902 003 121

of overlap. Fold over the corners ready to fix on the planks.

9. Lay lengths of decking over the four edges of the pond, parallel to the sides. Mark and cut where the planks overlap.

10. Cut to size then drill through the decking edge and liners into the edging frame, beneath. (Use a residual current device (RCD) for safety.) Pull the liner taut to create a neat finish then, using long brass screws, fix the planks in place.

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

Hospitals and Medical centres (answering machine)

Playa de las Américas

Puerto de la Cruz

8. When filled, trim liner and underlay together leaving 10-15cm

Emergency services (all) 112 National Police 091 Local police 092 Ambulance 061 Fire Brigade 080 Guardia Civil 062

7. Fill your pond, preferably with rain water, left to fill up naturally, or from your water butt. If you need to use tap water, leave it to stand for a week, to allow the chlorine to evaporate.

Tr ai

Emergencies

3. Add extra soil to one side of the hole to create a long, sloping marginal shelf. Firm this down using your heels to make sure it is compacted, and then rake level.

5. Remove any sharp stones from the soil, then line the hole with protective underlay, such as the geo-textile liner or offcuts of carpet.

2. Use a spirit level and long plank

to check that all sides of the hole are level. If they aren’t, the liner will show and spoil the look.

Br ai

1. Dig a hole to 45cm deep. Knock in 60cm-long pegs around the edges and screw 2cm-thick retaining boards to them. Frame the edges with timber, screwed to the top of each peg.

6. Lay the pond liner over the hole and, with shoes off, climb in and push the liner into every nook, pleating it for a neater finish. Allow a 15cm overlap at the edges.

1. Orange 2. Freddy Mercury 3. Hawk 4. Plutonium 5. The rupee 6. Scout

Make a start by marking out the position on the ground. Use a garden hose for an informal-shaped pond, or canes and string for formal designs. When calculating the size of liner for your pond, measure the length and multiply it by twice the depth, adding on 15cm for an overlap. Repeat this for the width to get the size required. How to do it

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 advertisment

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 FOOD

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Welcome to Karoline’s Kitchen Are you ready for something to spice up your life? We are going all Mexican this week, with some easy to make enchiladas, followed by a great chilli con carne and finishing off with a treat of a dessert, fried bananas. An enchilada is a corn tortilla with a filling and

sometimes covered with a chili pepper sauce. Enchiladas can be filled with a variety of ingredients, including meat, cheese, beans, potatoes, vegetables, seafood or combinations. I make this easy recipe for my children as a quick lunch and I always have the ingredients in the cupboard.

Have a great week cooking and if you have any recipes that you wish to share or any tips or family cheats then get in touch by email on; karoline@ tenerifeweekly.es Until next time,

Karoline Shovlar

Chilli Con Carne

Enchiladas Pack of flour tortillas

1 can of red kidney beans, drained 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1 large onion, quartered, sliced 1 green pepper, chopped 250gms minced beef 1 tinned tomatoes 2 whole green chillis 1 can tomato frito 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 tsp salt 1 tsp cayenne pepper (pimienta de cayena) 1 small bay leaf

Sliced ham Grated Cheese Salt and Pepper Heat a dry frying pan (no oil) Place a flour tortilla into the pan and heat Sprinkle the grated cheese and ham on top and place another tortilla on top Flip the tortillas to heat the other side Cut into quarters and serve with a salad You can spice this up with some sliced chillis, herbs or even sprinkle some chilli powder onto the cheese.

Fried Bananas

In a large saucepan brown the onion, pepper, and ground beef in oil. Add the tomatoes, tomato sauce, peppers, and seasonings. Cover and simmer for 1 to 1.2 hours, adding a little water if needed to keep from sticking. Check and stir frequently. Add the cooked or canned beans and heat through. Serve with rice or fill some flour tortillas, roll up, cover in cheese and pop under the grill.

4 ripe bananas 1 tablespoon lemon juice 30g brown sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon ¼ pint sweetened condensed milk 60ml orange juice 4 tablespoons butter Melt the butter in a frying pan; add the orange juice, lemon juice, brown sugar and cinnamon. Cook this mixture, stirring it all the time, until the sugar dissolves. Peel the bananas and slice them lengthways. Add them to the frying pan and cook them

for about 4 minutes or until the sugar mixture has caramelised and the bananas are soft and golden brown all over. Serve with condensed milk poured over or vanilla ice cream. You could make a special adult dessert by adding your favourite liqueur.

Hey Pesto!!! - How to make it and 2 tasty recepies Courtesy of Casa Tres’ Send me your feedback at: food@tenerifeweekly.es”

Fresh curly parsley Fresh basil Fresh garlic Olive oil Salt Pepper Toasted Pine kernels (can be left out if you have an alergy) What could be simpler, OK well you could go to the supermarket and buy a jar, though you wouldn’t get the chance to blend your own unique recipe. We use it to flavour mayonnaise, fish, meat, vegetables and potatoes; it is so versatile and so simple to make and store. Pick all the leaves, skin the garlic, liquidise all the ingredients I mix 10/1 parsley & basil Garlic to taste along with salt and pepper Finally olive oil to make a paste Keep refrigerated in a sealed container.

Mushrooms à la Grecque

500g Any fresh mushrooms 1 table spoon Pesto 1/2 Lemon juiced Salt & Pepper 100ml Olive oil 20 ml Vinegar 1 sprig Fresh Tarragon

Wash and dry the Mushrooms Mix the rest of the ingredients in a pot and bring to the boil Add the Mushrooms and simmer for 5 mins Chill over night before serving .

For best storage keep in a pasteurised sealed jar. This can be used for most vegetables and can rise a dreary salad or starter plate to new levels.

Hake Pesto!!!

(Merluza) Butter Pesto Hake Lemon Salt Pepper

Now that you spent so much time pealing the garlic, picking the parsley and basil. Simply take a shallow baking tray, melt some butter in the tray & coat the fish in butter Place skin side down and lightly season, coat with some pesto. Bake in a hot oven for about 8 minutes. Splash with some fresh lemon juice and serve with a crisp green salad.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 TECHNOPHILE

Next Big Thing - Interactive Kitchen Intel Launches Cover your mouth and listen up. This isn’t the Microsoft Surface – at least not like you’ve seen it.

A Microsoft Surface? Yawn

news, videos and web content for you to peruse while stuffing your face.

polished black and red minimalist design as well as the built-in stand for your more conventional tablet. The best part? You can access unlimited online recipes to counteract your culinary ineptitude. Or you can just stick to slicing up virtual fruit as you lament the meal that could have been.

Is this the part where you tell me this is...

This is a Samsung-powered kitchen table top with an interactive touchscreen baked straight into it, serving up the freshest

Looks snazzy Indeed it does. We’re big fans of the sleek

... just a concept? We’re afraid so for now, though technically the Prisma kitchen is up and running as part of a display at Eurocucina in Milan, along with five other Toncelli kitchens. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to look at our faux granite worktops with disdain.

Ivy Bridge Processors

Intel has officially launched its new Ivy Bridge line of processors, following a series of delays. The chip manufacturer’s new 22nm processors will first appear in Core i5 and i7 flavours aimed at desktops and large notebooks – just in time for the slimline iMacs packing Core i5 and i7 processors that are reportedly arriving in June.

Apple Sued By US Parents Over ‘Addictive’ Kids’ Games

Apple is being sued in the US after a group of California parents accused the US tech giant of luring kids with “addictive” free games that can actually prove hugely expensive. Last week, it was confirmed that the class action lawsuit can go ahead after a San Jose judge denied Apple’s attempt to get it dismissed. The parents allege in their suit that children are being allowed to make purchases via a “currency” within free iOS games without first requiring the permission of their parents. The suit alleges that the “highly addictive” nature of the games can work to “compel children playing them to purchase large quantities of game currency, amounting to as much as $100 per purchase or more”. Many games use the business model of being free to download, but then imposing an in-app charge for the purchase of additional content, such as extra levels or items. For example, the children’s game, The Smurfs’ Village, uses “smurfberries” as the in-game currency for users to purchase for a range of levels up to $60. The same approach is true for recent games featuring the characters from Ice Age and The Simpsons. The Daily Mail has reported that a British 7-year-old racked up a £1,300 bill on an iPad last year in just four days after his mother

downloaded the Tap Zoo app for free. In the lawsuit, the US parents claim that children can still make several purchases after a password has been initially entered, enabling them to use their parent’s iTunes account, where credit or debit card information is stored. Their case can now go to court, but Apple is likely to fight the charges as it says that parents can easily activate security settings to stop children running up charges. The firm has also recently increased its security safeguards on iTunes.

Mac Users Beware

It seems like we cannot go a week without hearing about a new virus or malware coming along for Mac users. This week we have the shiny new Backdoor.OSX.SabPub.a (or SabPub for short) to deal with. Much like the worldrenowned Flashback Trojan, SabPub uses a Java exploit to get inside a user’s system and do all kinds of malicious things. This Trojan’s main purpose is to get into the user’s system, connect to a remote website and then wait for instructions. It seems the most common use is for taking screenshots, which could lead to private information being stolen if you have such things open on your screen.

SabPub infects systems specifically through targeted attacks, so the risk of it becoming a widespread problem like Flashback are much lower, but it is still something you most certainly want to keep your eye on. There are currently two strains of the virus in the wild, and one has been around since as early as February. One way you may be attacked is through a Word document using the CVE-2009-0563 exploit through Office on Mac. If you are opening Word documents, be careful, and make sure you know the source of the document. Apple has not issued a statement at this time, but we can assume they are working on a fix, much like they did with the Flashback Trojan.

They’ll be followed by lower-end Core i3 and i5 chips and low-voltage processors designed for ultrabooks – which should fit nicely in the new line of MacBooks that are reportedly ditching Nvidia graphics in favour of an Ivy Bridge-only solution. As well as offering native support for USB 3.0, Intel claims that its Ivy Bridge processors deliver 20 per cent higher performance, while using 20 per cent less power, than their 32nm Sandy Bridge predecessors.

‘Crysis 3’ Announced For 2013 Release by EA

Crysis 3 has been formally announced by Electronic Arts. Leaked last week through a listing on the Origin service, the first-person shooter will be available on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC in 2013. The sequel is once again set in New York, with the Prophet discovering the city has been encased in a ‘Nanodome’ by the Cell Corporation. The dome has created a natural environment within the city, adding a rainforest, swamplands and rivers, as well as seven distinct locations named the Seven Wonders. Players will be able to make use of an enhanced Nanosuit, a composite bow and arrow and alien technology. “Crysis 3 is a thrilling mix of sandbox gameplay, advanced combat and hi-tech human and alien weaponry that shooter fans will love,” said Crytek CEO Cevat Yerli. “Leveraging the latest CryEngine technology, we’re able to deliver seven unique themes that offer stunning and visually loaded gameplay experiences.

We cannot wait until people get their hands on the game.” The Crysis 3: Hunter Edition can be preordered, offering early access to the bow and various attachments in multiplayer, as well as an XP boost, additional Nanosuit module, exclusive skin and set of in-game dog tags. Retailer-specific pre-order bonuses will offer varying multiplayer unlocks, including access to a Jackal shotgun, Typhoo assault weapon and a Feline sub-machine gun. The original Crysis was given a digital release on Xbox Live and PlayStation Network last year. Developer Crytek is currently working on a sequel to Homefront.

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52 Beijing Motor Show: Copycat culture Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012

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MOTORING

Mulsanne. And there’s a Chery that, shall we say, bears more than a passing resemblance to a Mercedes C-Class.

And sometimes they don’t just flatter one manufacturer, but two. For instance, Hawtai has created an SUV which has the grille from a Jaguar XJ but the side profile of a Porsche Cayenne.

But the Chinese don’t just copy luxury cars. Even cars so cheap that you wouldn’t think they were worth forging are still copied. Examples include the Gleagle with a rear that looks just like a Peugeot 107’s, complete with single-piece glass tailgate, and then there’s the perennial Chery QQ, which is a Chevy Matiz-a-like.

Englon or Bentley? Much has been made of the Chinese car industry’s copycat culture. But this could come to an end because of the car buying public. China is the land of fake products. Fake Rolexes, fake Ralf Lauren Polo shirts and even fake Apple iPads, you can get them all in Beijing. And it’s the same when it comes to cars. There are many Chinese companies which borrow bits of designs from other European and Japanese car makers, and many are being proudly displayed at the Beijing Motor Show pretty much alongside

the very cars they are copying. For instance there’s a saloon from Englon Automobile which has a face that has clearly been styled to look like a Bentley So why do the Chinese manufactures do it? Well for starters they can get away with it - pursuing a Chinese company for copyright infringement is a tricky business. What’s more, they don’t see plagiarism as a bad thing. In fact, in no place is the adage “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery‚” so true.

Mercedes G63 AMG Revealed

Twin-turbo V8-powered Mercedes G63 AMG has been unveiled at the Beijing Motor Show. The new model will go on sale in the UK in the autumn, and gets a new front bumper with a black twin-blade radiator grille, LED daytime running lights, side-mounted

exhausts and five-spoke 20-inch AMG alloys. It’s powered by a twin-turbo 5.5-litre V8, which produces 537bhp and 760Nm of torque. This means it can accelerate from 0-62mph in 5.4 seconds and has a top speed of 130mph.

Despite having 43bhp and 60Nm more than the G55 AMG it replaces, both fuel consumption and emissions have been improved thanks to fuel-saving measures such as a stop-start system. Average fuel consumption now stands at 20.5mpg with CO2 emissions of 322g/km, compared to 17.9mpg and 378g/km for the old model. This isn’t the most extreme G-Class to be released, though. Mercedes is set to introduce a new range-topping G65 AMG, but it won’t come to the UK. It will be powered by the same twin-turbo 6.0-litre V12 engine as the recently unveiled SL65 AMG, complete with 603bhp and 999Nm of torque.

However, one Chinese journalist has said that fake cars such as this are actually dying out due to the increased wealth of the Chinese people. He said: “We can get many European cars over here now, so people don’t want the fakes. They want the real thing.” And it seems they’re getting what they want. Look around the roads of Beijing, and you will now see more Volkswagens, Audis and Mercedes than Chinese cars. Well at least we thought they were genuine VWs, Mercs and Audis – they could of course just have been very good fakes.

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Sharples in Session By John Sharples

Much More Than Sun And Sea

People have been coming to Tenerife for many years now. The first real resort on the Island was Puerto de La Cruz. Now, the south of the island has opened up too and supplies sandy beaches, swimming pools and hotels. There are theme parks on both sides of the island and they enjoy thousands of visitors each week. BUT! That isn’t all that Tenerife has to offer. It amazes and saddens me that the majority of tourists spend almost their entire holidays encased in concrete. They don’t venture out to see any of the beautiful sights that we have to offer. Masca is such a hidden beauty, shopping in La Laguna is a treat, visiting a local football match in the nearest town would keep the fanatics happy, far more exciting than watching the telly in a pub every single night. There is the lush green countryside of the Mercedes Mountains, the quaint town and plaza of La Orotava and superb shopping in the streets of Santa Cruz. So, why don’t the tourists venture out into the sights of real Tenerife? I’ll tell you why! IT IS ONE BIG SECRET! Why aren’t the powers that be getting off their backsides and promoting the other side of Tenerife? Why aren’t people informed of paragliding, surfing areas, fishing, hunting and shooting? Why, during these hard times, isn’t someone coming up with new ideas and doing something about it? Why aren’t they spending their

advertising budget on informing the public of the wide and diverse activities that are available to them? I’ve lived here for 15 years now and I still find fabulous places to visit that I have never seen before. Not only have I never seen them, I have never even heard of them!

Today, I visited the most wonderful countryside in Anaga. This time around, I took a different route and ended up on top of a spectacular mountain facing the most pretty cave houses I have ever seen. These houses are inhabited and enjoy the most incredible view of the Anaga Mountains. This tiny little place has a restaurant and a church and it leaves you with a content feeling of happiness when you come back down to the town of La Laguna. So, come on people at the top! Start telling people about the fantastic things that Tenerife has to offer. Show them how proud you are of your Island. Why do we have to be stuck with one image when there are so many facets to this Atlantic jewel!

Roundabouts Tax Tax Tax And Zebras

You may feel that you are taking your life into your hands when you try to get onto a zebra crossing. The law clearly states that cars must stop to let you cross. Sometimes it is nigh on impossible to get a foot onto the crossing in the first place. If you get into the inside lane of a roundabout, you will probably have to go around it twice before you manage to get off it at your preferred junction. I don’t understand why this is the case in the Canaries. The Canarian people are such lovely friendly people; you would expect them to be the same in a car. Something happens when they get behind that wheel. I have decided that the old rule must fall into place! If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

I was chatting with a friend from the UK this weekend. We were discussing the price of electric and gas etc. She couldn’t believe how cheap our fuel is here. When I told her that my car tax was approx fifty euros a year, she slowly started to slip into a depression, so I offered her a glass of wine. “Mmmmm” she said, “what a lovely wine” “Yes”, I replied with a smile, “It’s 99 cents from the local supermarket”. She almost choked on it! She told me how lucky I was to live in such a place and I told her that luck had nothing to do with it. I just got on a plane and didn’t go back!

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 sharples in session

Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 sport

Coe Defends Delayed Launch

Seb Coe has defended the decision to delay the sale of £1.5million worth of tickets for the football tournament at the London 2012 Olympics. The draw for the games took place on Tuesday and Great Britain was drawn against Senegal, Uruguay and the United Arab Emirates. However, organisers have so far struggled to sell the tickets and will not now be able to take advantage of the anticipation created by the draw until next week at the earliest. Coe, the organising committee chairman, admitted they are still testing the ticket sales systems after problems

with the Ticketmaster system earlier this year. And despite the anticipated clamour for tickets now that the draw has been made, Cole stressed they would not be rushed into putting them on sale until they were ready. “It is our testing that is the issue,” Cole said. “We are not talking about a delay of months, we will probably be able to announce this in the next week and go on sale in

early May. We are testing all the systems and it is what it is. “ “I am not going to hurry the process artificially just because I need to meet some deadline. I don’t have a deadline, and when the tickets go on sale there has to be the right client experience and my teams have to be sure that they will deliver. I’m not going to hurry it just for a few days.”

Ramprakash Punished By ECB

Surrey batsman Mark Ramprakash has received three penalty points from the England and Wales Cricket Board for a disciplinary breach. Ramprakash, 42, was reported to the ECB by umpires Nigel Llong and Jeff Evans for a level one breach - relating to “obscene, offensive or insulting” language during Surrey’s County

Championship match against Worcestershire on 19th-22nd April. This incident follows a previous breach by Ramprakash of the fixed penalty system within the last two years, leaving him with six penalty points against his name. The accumulation of nine or more penalty points in any two-year period triggers an automatic suspension.

Good to hear all great reports from the teams around the venues In “The Wild Bull Coast FM Darts League.” We drank more beer, then food was consumed. Came back from Rob at the Target, as he entertained the Cosy Corner, along with many other complimentary reports from all the other teams who played and partied along the south of the Island on Sunday afternoon Woah.... wake up call lads... Belgian Beer Bar

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Lady of the Lake

World open water champion Keri-Anne Payne found Lake Windermere an exhilarating place to continue her preparations for London 2012. During a practice session ahead of the British Gas Great Swim in Windermere, the Stockport ITC swimmer stopped to appreciate the scene around her. As the Olympic countdown continues, Payne’s preparations include a trip to race in Israel before she returns to take part in the Great Swim Series in London, as well as a return to Windermere. “The absolute beauty of Lake Windermere means it has been the best swim for me in Britain.” Payne said: “There are not really any extremes in Britain. I’ve not really done that many because it’s a bit cold here and I’ve only really done the Great Swims and one 5k by City Airport in London. “Swimming around the course the day before, having a look at it, stopping and looking at the beautiful countryside; it was probably one of the most memorable swims I have done in Britain. I took a second to take it in.” Last Wednesday marked 100 days to go until the Olympics. There was a lot of publicity surrounding the landmark but for the Johannesburg-born swimmer it had little impact. “It probably doesn’t have as much meaning. For us it’s just another training session, it’s just another day,

Coast FM

3-5 Meigas after coming from 3-2 down. Well done Raf, Johann, Eddie and Marco.... great game should have been a draw, was the report from Manneke Pis (Belgian Beer Bar). Our Place A beat Chipeque 7-1 with Graeme checking out on a 105 finish and Delboys steady hand meant Chipeque went down despite Brooksy being unbeaten in his singles games this season. Luc from Rood threw 180 as Rood and

1st Division

another piece of the puzzle. It doesn’t mean that much, probably because every year we are used to having trials and then a major championships. We don’t really count down the days until those kind of competitions so there is no point in hyping up the Olympics too much because then you will start getting too nervous about it. So it’s a case of doing the same thing we’ve done for the last 10 years, getting into that routine again and knowing what works best for us.” The swimmer also expects the hype to increase around the country in the build-up to the Games in which she will look to at least replicate her silver medal from Beijing four years ago. “It’s still a long way away and there are major things like the Premier League still happening,” she said. “I am sure when we get closer to the Games things will start happening more and more. I wouldn’t expect everybody to be running around talking about the Olympics every day from now until then because they’ll get bored of it before the Olympics come.”

“The Wild Bull Coast FM Results

Target A shared the points. Another 180 was thrown by George from Target B as they went down 7-1 to Cosy Corner In the Second Division Chipeque Nomads beat Legends 6-2 to strengthen their lead at the top, led by the quiet unassuming captain “Chelsea Rob” Hunnies vs El Candil de Abuela 2-6. Blame it on the “celebrated extensively at the bar” to take a quote!!!!!!!!!

1st division Our Place A 7 – 1 Chipeque Rood 4 – 4 Target A Apolo – Los Halcones Belgian Beer Bar 3 – 5 Meigas Target B 1 - 7 Cosy Wanderers 2nd division Chipeque Nomads 6 – 2 Legends Cosy Cabrons 3 – 5 Nifty Nauta La Central 5 – 3 Malabar Beesnees Hunnies 2 – 6 El Candil de la Abuela Happy Gavines 0 – 8 Beesnees

2nd Division

Rank

Team

Played

Points

Rank

Meigas

Target A

Our Place B

Cozy Wanderers

Our Place A

Rood

Target B

Chipeque

Apolo

Los Halcones

Belgian Beer Bar

Team

Played

Points

Chipeque Nomads

La Central

Beesnees

Legends

Happy Gavines

El Candil de Abuela

Beesnees´Hunnies

Malabar

Nifty Nauta

Cosy Cabrons

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th April - 3rd May 2012 SPORT

THE SPORTS SCENE WITH PETER QUILTY

SPONSORED BY THE BUZZIN OF CALLAO SALVAJE FOR ALL THE BEST IN SPORT Hi Everyone. Well as I write this week’s column (Monday) it looks like one week today the country will hold its breath for the Manchester Derby, after watching Man Utd give it away and City defeat poor Wolves, who are now heading for the Championship next season. If Roberto Mancini’s side beats United next Monday, they will go top on goal difference with two games remaining.

Next Monday at the Etihad will not be for the faint-hearted. Talking about the Championship I did watch the second half of the Southampton v Middlesboro game after my radio show on Saturday. When I left the studio Southampton looked like they would gain their promotion to the premiership in style. Not to be: the St Mary’s outfit have won five of their last six away games and the Hammers know anything less than victory at the King Power Stadium tonight will rule them out of a toptwo finish and send Southampton up to the Premier League. And finishing in the play-offs would see them face the likes of in-form Blackpool to get into the top flight. It was also a little strange to see Coventry beaten by Martin’s Doncaster Rovers and the Sky Blues’ final home game of the season turned into a nightmare as defeat by rock-bottom Doncaster finally sealed their fate. My old friend Jon Gaunt was not very pleased at all with the result and with Andy Thorn, the boss, revealing that the club has asked him to stay on, but he has told them if he does they must give him some help. He said ¨Sometimes a club can come back even stronger and if I get the help I will stay and we can do it.” Bristol City’s win meant Coventry’s fate was sealed whatever their result, Rovers were already sure to finish bottom but boss Dean Saunders was chuffed with his side’s finish. Martin had a different view Dean!! So let’s have a look how the guys did this week: with me bringing up the rear with only 9 points from a possible 30 (Whoops), but in saying that no one else actually did very well, with Chris the Buzzin Blazer, Martin the Middlesboro Marauder and the Lion Bites Back Team of Sandy & Ronnie all scoring 12 points.

was not so shocked when Mark Allen accused Cao Yupeng of dishonesty during his surprise first-round defeat by the Chinese player at the World Championship in Sheffield. Allen, who admits he was “completely outplayed” by the world number 81, claimed Cao failed to declare an illegal push shot when leading 5-4. No foul was given and the 26-year-old Northern Irishman eventually lost 10-6. It was quite obvious to me and anyone who was watching at home.

With results like that it is not as easy as it looks, although it was great to see Arsenal’s striker Robin van Persie being named as the Professional Footballers’ Association’s Player of the Year for 2011/12. The Gunners captain has scored 34 goals in all competitions for the club this campaign, with 27 coming in the Barclays Premier League, in only 35 appearances. The award was voted for by Van Persie’s peers with the 28-year-old beat off competition from Wayne Rooney, Scott Parker, Sergio Aguero, Joe Hart and David Silva. He admits that makes winning all the more enjoyable. Also to see a joyful Fabrice Muamba juggle a football for the first time since his onpitch collapse. The 24-year-old midfielder put on his Bolton Wanderers kit to show off his skills barely a month after a horrifying cardiac arrest at Spurs. He said: “I wondered what it would be like kicking a ball again. It’s the first time, so I have to take it easy, but I still love the game.” The super fit Premiership star is used to covering seven miles every game but could manage just a handful of paces as he was helped to his feet for the first time after his cardiac arrest on the pitch. Then the exhausted soccer hero had to be helped back to bed by fiancée Shauna Magunda as anxious medics looked on. Keep it uppy!! Not being much of an F1 fan I was glad to see the Bahrain F1 go ahead, but things did not turn out so right for Lewis Hamilton, who was left doing his nut after another cock-up by his pit crew cost him the chance of winning the Bahrain Grand Prix. The Brit started second on the grid but had to settle for eighth when a mechanic made a mistake with a rear wheel-nut during TWO pit stops. Incredibly, it was exactly the same problem which hampered McLaren team-mate Jenson Button in China the previous week. Hamilton suffered the setbacks on laps nine and 23 to allow eventual winner Sebastian Vettel a clear run to the chequered flag. I must admit I did watch a little of the snooker before going to the studio and

Mark Allen (L) and Cao Yupeng Mark Allen World number 11 said “I’m disgusted.” The state of snooker is very sad if it has to be down to that, but it’s not the first time, Cao looked at the referee, too. Referee Paul Collier took no action at the time, with television replays proving inconclusive. In football you see players falling over fresh air, you see people handling the ball and not owning up to it. The dilemma is: whose responsibility is it, the referee’s responsibility or the player’s responsibility? The actual incident is arguable but Mark felt strongly enough to say what he did. Defending champion John Higgins survived a scare to beat Liang Wenbo 10-9 in the World Championship. Having fallen 8-6 behind, he won three frames on the trot to go within one of victory but Liang levelled in the 18th. The Chinese player was looking good for victory but was unable to pocket a double and Higgins took the match. The four-time champion could face Stephen Hendry in the second round, who earlier in the day made the 10th maximum break at The Crucible Theatre. It was a superb first day at the home of snooker, as Higgins edged through in a deciding frame and Hendry made an

opening day maximum break. And finally in the 2012 Open Championship the R&A have lifted the ban on mobile phones; spectators will be able to use mobile phones after the game’s governing body lifted their six-year ban on the devices. Calls will be allowed in designated areas, although photography and video recording will not be allowed during the four days of the championship. “There is no denying the attachment people feel to their mobile phones,” said R&A chief executive Peter Dawson.

Mobile phones were first banned for the 2007 Open at Carnoustie after players complained about the number in use at the previous Championship at Hoylake. When I played golf mobile phones were left in cars or the locker room plus the fact the wife could not get in touch with you.

Till Next time have a great read.

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