Tenerife Weekly Issue 32 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly TENERIFE’S LOCAL FREE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

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18th May - 24th May 2012

We’re building up to our Diamond Jubilee Celebrations!

Issue 32

Gran Canarian Karate Champion in the Dock The main defendant, in what is being billed as Spain’s biggest juvenile sexual abuse scandal, said during his trial on Tuesday (15th) that the entire charges brought against him are part of a plot aimed at breaking “the monopoly” he had on karate schools in Gran Canaria. Fernando Torres Baena, who is facing more than 100 sex abuse counts, denied having sex with any of his male or female students under the age of 18, as prosecutors have charged. Once one of Spain’s top karate champions, Torres Baena only admitted having sexual relations with two of his gym monitors.

Continued on page 3

Baena’s (inset) legal team arriving at court

A Year On From Decapitation of British Woman in Tenerife

It was a year ago, on 13th May 2010, when one of the most dramatic cases was seen on Tenerife; when 60 year old woman, Jennifer Mills-Westley, originally from Norwich, was decapitated in a Chinese supermarket in a commercial centre in Los Cristianos, Tenerife. She had retired to start a new life in the sun just a few years before. The attacker, known to

be a local vagrant, chose his victim by chance. Twenty-

eight year old Deyan Valentinov Deyanov was caught by the public outside the shop, carrying his victim’s head. He was found out later to be Bulgarian and had been under psychiatric treatment following previous violent episodes. He had been allowed home after treatment the previous February, and was often heard shouting in the street that he was ‘God on Earth’. After the attack he has

been receiving treatment in the Canaries University Hospital and was then taken to the psychiatric prison in Seville, where he remains today; waiting for the case against him to come to court. A jury will hear that case in the Provincial Court in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, once the Ministry Prosecutor form their accusation, and the man’s lawyer is confident proceedings will get underway in about a year.

Check out pages 2 & 3 for details!

A big welcome to our new columnist...

BARRY SP ARKLE!

Coast FM 106.6 South, 92.2 West, 89.4 North

CONTENTS

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 editorial & legal

3 11 12 14 16 19 34 35 36 37 39

LOCAL NEWS BUSINESS NEWS WORLD NEWS IRISH NEWS NATIONAL NEWS TV GUIDE TIME OUT SHOWBIZ OUT ON THE TOWN SHARPLES IN SESSION COMMUNITY

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40 HEALTH/BEAUTY/FASHION 42 WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE? 43 CALDERS CONFESSIONS 44 HOROSCOPES/LOCAL INFO PETS’ PAGE 45 GARDENING 46 FOOD 48 TECHNOPHILE 49 CLASSIFIED SECTION 50 52 MOTORING/DIY SPORT 54

Fri

Sat

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thur

18th May

19th May

20th May

21st May

22nd May

23rd May

24th May

(Viernes)

(Sábado)

(Domingo)

(Lunes)

(Martes)

(Miércoles)

(Jueves)

Day

Partly sunny

Some Rain

Sunny

High: 26oC

High: 25oC

High: 24oC

High: 25oC

Real Feel: 28oC

Real Feel: 25oC

Real Feel: 24oC

Real Feel: 26oC

Real Feel: 27oC

Night

Some showers

Mainly clear

Clear

Low: 19oC

Low: 17oC

Low: 18oC

Low: 19oC

Real Feel: 16oC

Real Feel: 15oC

Real Feel: 16oC

Real Feel: 15oC

Real Feel: 16oC

Real Feel: 17oC

Editor in Chief

Production

Leah Farrell Stephen Eade Editor Colin Taylor editor@tenerifeweekly.es

Tenerife Weekly

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Mon - Fri 922 790 388 09:00 - 14:00 • 15:00 - 18:00 While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make. The opinion of the owners or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors. The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Editor.

Contributors Carlos Hernández Michael Rhodes Dave Michaels Phil West Janet Anscombe John Sharples Gordon King

Ken Cumming Liana Mẽ aly ah Pete Quilty Karen Clack Ray Wilde Steph Tufft

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922 790 388 sales@tenerifeweekly.es Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

Disclaimer While we strive to bring you a quality newspaper Tenerife Weekly cannot be held responsible for the print quality of this publication. The responsibility for print quality lies directly with our printers (TF Print, SL.) Please be aware that advertising in Tenerife Weekly will require you to sign a declaration agreeing to this disclaimer.

Editorial

Hello readers, It’s been a year since the horrific murder of Jennifer Mills-Westley. The incident stunned everyone here in Tenerife. Mrs. Mills-Westley’s children have explained how the graphic images, which appeared on the internet in the following days, were harrowing to see: especially as it was via the internet that the victim’s grandchildren found out what had happened to their “grand-mere”, as she was affectionately known. The family are still trying to come to terms with what happened, and all of us here

Where is Wee Keeley?

We got the owner of Decades to allow us to draw not one but two names from the pot this week. So congratulations go to Mrs Wildy and Mr Dover for the issue 31 competition for finding Wee Keeley on page 46. Mark at Vivo Decades has booked them and a guest in to see the Decades Goes to Hollywood Dinner Show. Wee Keeley has been on the move, so see if you can find him this week. If you can find him then call our office on 922 790 388 and tell us where he is.

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly at Tenerife Weekly wish them well in their healing process. I’d like to extend a big welcome to our new columnist, Barry Sparkle. He certainly hit the ground running; managing to hob nob with X Factor star, Lucie Jones, while she was holidaying over here. Keep it up, Barry! Did you buy tickets for the RockCoast Festival? Hopefully, rather than cancellation, this will just be a mere postponement. The company running the show have put all their eggs into this basket, so I don’t think they’ll give up too easily. Maybe your tickets are worth the paper they’re printed on. Good luck.

Colin Taylor

On Wednesday all the names will be put into the pot again and the lucky winner will be given 2 free tickets for the following Sunday´s Decades Goes To Hollywood Dinner Show... Happy searching.

Colin Taylor.

3 German Astronomers Finish Europe’s Largest Solar Telescope On Tenerife www.tenerifeweekly.es

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

LOCAL NEWS

After ten years of development, the new German solar telescope, GREGOR, will start operating at the Spanish Observatorio del Teide of the Instituto de Astrofisica de Canarias on Tenerife. It is the largest solar telescope in Europe and number three worldwide. It will provide the German and the international community of solar physicists with new and better instrumentation which will enable them to investigate our home star in unprecedented detail. Studying the Sun is a key to understand the physical processes on and in the majority of stars. Moreover, there is also a very practical aspect: the solar activity affects or even damages satellite systems and power networks in some regions on Earth. Knowing more about it may help to mitigate expensive damages. The inauguration ceremony will take place on 21st May. GREGOR is a solar telescope with an aperture of 1.5 meters and has been designed to carry out observations of the solar photosphere and chromosphere in the visible and infrared part of the spectrum. Due to its large diameter it will allow

observations with higher resolution than was possible before. A novel “adaptive optics system” is able to compensate for atmospheric disturbances and provides a detailed image of the Sun; similar to what would be achieved if the telescope was in space. The resulting high

Continued From Page 1

His wife, María José González and Ivonne González, are also standing trial for allegedly helping him lure and bait victims for his pleasure. “When you win national and international tournaments, you celebrate in any way you can,” Torres Baena said, referring to the sex he had with his gym monitors. Torres Baena is the first of the defendants to testify in the so-called “karate case.” Prosecutors are asking that he be sentenced to 303 years in jail on 36 counts of sexual abuse and 13 other crimes related to the corruption of minors. They confronted the defendant, after he took the stand in his own defence, about certain key locations where his accusers had described the abuses as having taken place, including a small room with a bed and the third floor of the gym. The court filings include a host of complaints from 61 students, describing anal and vaginal penetrations, fellatio, masturbation and other sexual acts, all of which Torres Baena has denied. The room prosecutors described in court was where Torres Baena said he kept “gym equipment” and used on occasion “to scold” students because it was better to do so in private so as “not to humiliate them.” The entrance to this particular room was restricted, he added.

When asked if he felt that his karate kids felt humiliated by his scolding, the defendant replied: “One thing is what I do, and another is what others feel.” After the court filings were unsealed, Torres Baena recalled that he read them over and over for about eight hours a day and thought “this doesn’t make sense.” The karate instructor was prolific in his answers, concentrating on what was being asked, and never breaking once to open the water bottle near him. But the challenging grins and smirks that were evident during the opening day of the trial were gone; the only gesture Torres Baena performed in the dock was to put on and take off his eyeglasses, which dangled on a rope chain. Investigators, who say the abuse took place for at least 15 years before Torres Baena and others were arrested, say the defendants had organised a type of sexual sect at the karate school. Trial prosecutor Pedro Jimeno cross-examined Torres Baena with tough, to-the-point questions. “Did you have anal sex with the witness?” Jimeno asked about one boy’s version of events. Concerning a 14-year-old male, Torres Baena was again asked: “Did you make him touch your genitals?” And referring to a 16-yearold student: “Did you and

he have mutual fellatio?” Torres Baena denied all the charges. “Why do you think they have said all these things about you?” the prosecutor asked. “I will explain this in due course,” the defendant responded. Torres Baena, 57, said he had the best karate school in Spain, and had planned on bringing internationally renowned teachers to his school. He recognised almost all of the 61 names of students who filed complaints against him, and admitted that many would spend time with him and the gym monitors at his home in Agüimes, situated about an hour and a half outside Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. He said the mass gatherings took place before important competitions, but denied prosecutors’ contentions that these parties were actually orgies. Torres Baena said he never tried to “sexually orient” any of his students. The entire case, he said, was part of a plot hatched by the Karate Federation in the Canaries to knock down his profitable business. On Thursday, Torres Baena was expected to personally hear from one of his accusers. José María Palomino has agreed to take the stand on behalf of 60 of the 61 alleged victims.

spatial, spectral, and temporal resolution will allow scientists to follow physical processes on the Sun on spatial scales as small as 70 km. During the night time GREGOR can also observe bright stars. It will mainly be used for long term monitoring of stars in order to find out whether the distant suns show similar cyclic behaviour as our own. GREGOR’s design is completely open, in order to enable wind cooling of the telescope structure and the mirrors. The classical dome has therefore been replaced by a retractable structure which allows natural air flushing. This open structure places high demands on the mechanical stability of the telescope structure in order to eliminate wind-induced vibrations. The primary mirror is a lightweight filigree structure made of a special material that does not deform under the heat of the bright Sun. Additionally; the mirror is actively cooled from the back in order to prevent the front side from heating up and thus producing internal turbulence. From the telescope the light is guided into the laboratory rooms where it can be distributed to a number of analysing instruments. An imaging setup produces images of the solar surface at various wavelengths.

These images are expected to show an extraordinary richness of details. Scientists will also be studying the photosphere and chromosphere of the Sun, analysing the interaction of the solar magnetic field and the highly dynamic plasma, will be possible thanks to the interferometric setup. A spectrograph will analyse the solar atmosphere by looking into the near infrared part of the spectrum. It will be able to produce detailed maps of the solar magnetic field. GREGOR will be accessible to the international solar physics community and has the potential to provide a significant boost to solar physics worldwide. The GREGOR solar telescope has been built by a German consortium under the leadership of the KiepenheuerInstitut fur Sonnenphysik in Freiburg with the Leibniz-Institut fur Astrophysik Potsdam and the Max-Planck-Institut fur Sonnensystemforschung in Katlenburg/ Lindau as partners, and with contributions by the Instituto de Astrofisica de Canarias, the Institut fur Astrophysik Gottingen, and the Astronomical Institute of the Academy of Sciences of the Czech Republic.

To launch the Special Events programme, we are having a Street Party on Tuesday June 5th starting at 12.00pm Midday. The afternoon will be hosted by our very own “queens”, Bitter & Twisted, with entertaining variety performances, and fun and frolics for all. Also featuring Marc Craig and the Ritmania Dancers, and Coast FM broadcasting live throughout the day’s events. Tickets for 30,00 Euros include a Diamond Service, Queen Size Banquet (see page 2) to include loads of your old favourite dishes from Blighty, your drinks and a fabulous Celebration Cake. Live coverage of the day’s events as they unfold in London will also be featured on our large screen televisions, a service at St Paul’s Cathedral followed by a Carriage Procession to Buckingham Palace and finally a Balcony appearance and Flypast, so you won’t miss a thing. There will also be a Super Raffle with a Diamond and a Cruise to be won.

To book your tickets please telephone 603 291 256 VIVO Treasure Island Avd Rafael Puig 7, (In Front of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

FREE PARKING

www.vivotreasureisland.com

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 local news

Canaries Government Will Not Reduce Number of Teachers The Canary Islands government says they will not implement some of the measures ordered by the national government, to save on education. On Wednesday (16th) vice president, José Miguel Pérez, said that increasing class sizes or cutting teacher numbers was not the way to go. He accepts that, to obey the law, he must make cuts, but is looking for alternatives. The regional government believes that the Royal Decree on urgent measures to rationalise public spending (expected to be adopted this week) is “a mistake that will cost our country, no doubt,” and thinks that “we must go towards the contrary.” Before attending a meeting with directors of non-university schools and inspectors of the Gran Canaria education area to inform them of the Royal

Murder Suspect Arrested in Tenerife

The National Police in Tenerife have arrested a man, identified only as ALF, 52, on suspicion of attempted murder. He had been on the run since 2001. In a statement, the Provincial Commissioner explained; in February 2000 the detainee allegedly placed a homemade explosive device in the car of his former partner. The device exploded, causing her serious injuries. The suspect’s arrest was the result of

research carried out by police; from the time they became aware of his possible presence in Tenerife, due to his involvement in a burglary. Aside from the burglary and murder attempt, the arrested man also has other outstanding cases against him, from the courts of Vigo (Galicia) and la Orotava. After the relevant proceedings, the detainee came before the judiciary, which ordered his imprisonment.

T wo A r r e s t e d F o r Apolo Centre Attack

Decree Law, and its impact on the public education system of the islands, Pérez has stated that his government will “maintain and increase resources for students, and that also goes for failing to reduce the number of teachers.” That means not implementing some of the savings measures, as provided by the Ministry of Education, because to do so, he argued, “would leave the educational system in the 3,550 non-university schools understaffed.”

As an argument for maintaining his position, the vice president said that “it would mean a drastic reduction in the Canary Islands, dramatic” because “the community would be left at the bottom of the scale in the teachers per student ratio.” Pérez explained that the archipelago was not expected to expand the ratios or class size numbers as proposed by the Ministry, which could, in certain educational levels, raise class sizes from 25 to 40.

Playa San Juan in “Per fect Condition” After Illegal Dumping Following illegal dumping, the Policia Local has removed 100 kilos of dead bream from San Juan beach. The area has now been deemed clean and safe to use.

A 35-year-old man received serious head injuries shortly after 7am on Tuesday morning (15th) in a bar in Los Cristianos. Emergency services were called out to a fight involving a Spanish individual behaving threateningly with a knife. National Police got the situation under control while paramedics assisted the injured man. He was stabilised at the scene and then transferred,

of Nature Conservation (Seprona) Civil Guard investigations have been opened with the intention of identifying and reporting those responsible. Technical inspections sent from the area confirmed that the fish were not killed by any type of contamination, and everything indicates that they were caught and subsequently discharged

into the sea after their deaths. Several municipal workers collected, from the edge of the main beach, more than 100 kilos of bream, without any other detectable residues that affect the normal use of the bathing areas. In fact, after cleaning the area, many swimmers who used the beach said they did not detect any anomalies.

with a heavily bleeding head wound, to Hospiten Sur. The bar is in a commercial centre in Calle Hermano Pedro Bethencourt, which runs from the main Los Cristianos roundabout up to the Hotel Paradise Park. The accused appeared in Court on Wednesday morning. The victim, also Spanish, has been released from hospital after being treated and kept under observation.

RockCoast Tenerife Festival is Cancelled

Through a note on its website, the developer of Rock Festival Tenerife Coast, LM Productions, has announced that it has suspended the event, in which Smashing Pumpkins and Marilyn Manson were due to perform. The reasons for this decision were explained as the “historical context” facing the country (and the region) economically, and bemoan the lack of institutional support for the event; leaving the door open for a postponement, rather than cancellation. A translation of the text from their website states: The Director General of LM Productions, and the entire team that make up the company, feel forced to make the painful decision to postpone, for the time being, the COAST ROCK FESTIVAL cultural event that was scheduled to be held in the reclaimed land of the Port Authority of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, on 24th, 25th and 26th May. This is a decision that we would never have wanted to adopt. Unfortunately, and risking a huge financial investment that significantly impacts our future as a company, we understand that the historical context facing our country (and especially our region) makes the building of the framework and the viability of the production untenable. This concert was the final materialisation of the biggest dream of our business lives. Moreover, we believe that the lack of institutional

“

Guía de Isora Councilman, Bruno Domínguez, said that “the bathing areas of Playa San Juan are now in perfect condition after cleaning up the remains of dead fish found on the shore.” Apparently it was a discharge from fishermen, who worked from an illegal fishing boat just outside the dock at Playa San Juan. Both the local police in Guía de Isora and the Department

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interest has also led us to withdraw the project. However, other regional media have been happy to support us, namely; national and international media, such as MTV, Marca, The Guardian, The Times, and sponsors such as Ticketmaster, El Corte Inglés, Iberostar, Iberia, Traysesa, Grupo Número 1, General Software, Hotel Taburiente, Kuserv Canarias, Islas Airways, Viajes Guay, I Love Santa Cruz, JTI, and so on. The artists, and their management offices, agreed to be part of our proposal, and all the companies, in one way or another, saw Rock Coast Festival as a cultural attraction and a great artistic addition; potentially revitalising the island’s economy. Please understand how difficult it was for LM Productions to make this decision. We will endeavour to move the event to a future date. Our objective is to achieve consensus with the performing artists, who have already been paid the majority of their fees. A new, more suitable, date will be sought to complete the project. LM Productions has spent every cent of its assets and

sunk each of its members’ lives into taking this project forward. It was a real dream of ours to enter the worldwide festival circuit. These efforts, together with those of some entrepreneurs who believed strongly in the idea, even giving financial support from their families, has not been enough, unfortunately, to bring this project to fruition. We deeply regret the great sorrow for the nearly 50 groups that were scheduled to perform at the Festival. We especially feel for the unknown groups who would have had a great opportunity to participate in a festival of international character. We are perfectly aware of what this decision means; thousands of people have relied on this project. In all honesty, we owe a lot to all those people, plus the other hundreds of thousands to whom we have spent hours of happiness and enjoyment over our long and successful business career. The family of LM Productions is committed to try to compensate for the possible consequences of our decision. LM Productions.

”

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Religion - A Spectrum Of Personal Perception Jyoti Prakash Udhwani, Correspondant for the local Indian Community

God is defined as, “that which is the self of all beings”, the essence in everything and the support and substratum of the entire universe and not a person or an individual entity. Every individual carries a different perception of Religion, or what it actually is. There are many who perceive religion as spirituality, and yet there is a handful who considers it as mere rituals; as part of our day to day existence, but there is actually more to religion than what meets the eye. If we understand religion to mean a set of rituals, it would be distinct from spirituality. But actually, rituals are only ways of purifying our mind to help us understand concepts of universality or the oneness of life. Hence religion then becomes a means to know God and therefore merge with him. Subjectively speaking, our concept of a spiritual person is one who visits the temple, performs regular worships, says prayers, chants, practices solemnity and takes into vows like fasting or abstinence, to be religious. An objective view of a spiritual person is one who pursues self-knowledge, motivated by a yearning for self-realisation. Not just an academic pursuit but with an earnest urge to gain first-hand acquaintance with the truth. On normal grounds we consider a religious

person as one who only does religious activity and who may not necessarily be spiritual. Some worship the Lord as an idol but refuse to accept him in the hearts of all living beings. This is then a misconception of being spiritual. A majority are also misled, and follow the erroneous belief that spirituality means “running away from the world” or “isolating oneself from the world and sitting alone”, but on the contrary, a proper spiritual vision is that which envelops an understanding of life in its totality. Religion tells us that the goal of life is to transcend our bodily pleasures, to rise above our animal instincts into a life of purity and devotion. Therefore, in almost every situation, one must strive for the tenacity not to act. Acting based on our desires, or making mistakes, is like driving down the road and taking a wrong detour. Yes, it definitely takes us off-track, but nevertheless, it depletes our fuel and will take us awhile to find the right way again. If we feel we have taken a wrong turn, or have erred, if we feel that we have gone off the path, then the best thing to do is stop. According to the Hindu ethics, there are four goals of the human life- namely, Dharma (righteous action), Artha (pursuit of wealth and worldly possessions), Kama

(fulfilment and enjoyment of desires) and Moksha (liberation from the cycle of birth and death). Moksha is also the renunciation of our false identities with our human bodies, and abidance in our true blissful self. All these goals go hand in hand and dependent of each other; one must take a step by step basis towards the attainment of the latter goal. There are many simple ways on how one can practically live a life of dedication to the Lord; yes it is tricky, not easy, but nevertheless definitely possible. Initially one should act under the guidance of bhakti, for if we are concealed by the nectar of bhakti (religious devotion in the form of active involvement in worship of the divine), we become familiarly aware of a higher entity present and guiding us in each step of our life. This evokes love for the higher form, or the so called supreme, and is thus the initiation of bhakti.

Now there are certain means towards the destination of bhakti, these are; puja (worship), Japa (repetition of the name of God) and cintan (contemplation). These though are predominantly performed by the body, speech and mind respectively, and are vis-a-vis with the three aspects of the Lord himself- his form, his name and his true essential nature. Therefore we advised to worship the form with our body, chant the Lord’s name with our speech and contemplate on his true nature with our mind. Continuous l o v i n g contemplation done with an attitude of unity with the Lord is the most ideal. The regular and deep practice of this helps us sail into the ship of oneness with the Lord, thus, under the roof of supreme bhakti. The Hindu concept of God tells us that God is Brahman; the one, the changeless truth or reality. As Brahman cannot be conceived by the intellect, it cannot be defined; therefore it can only be indicated. One should always put religion as a means and a way to attain God.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 local news

Two Earthquakes Felt Between Tenerife and Gran Canaria

IGN (Instituto Geográfico Nacional) recorded two earthquakes on Tuesday, between Gran Canaria and Tenerife. The first tremor, measuring 3.3 on the Richter scale, was registered at 5.31pm at a depth of 33km. The second occurred just three minutes later, and was 2.6 on the Richter scale, at a depth of 26km. The first tremor was felt by the public in Candelaria, and the Gran Canaria municipalities of Agaete and Gáldar. IGN says that no damage was reported, and that such tremors are normal in that location because of the fault line between the two islands.

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April Saw Large Drop in Tourist Figures

The International crisis and the disappearance of the air tax discounts is being blamed for the large drop in foreign tourism in the Canary Islands during April 2012 (compared to figures for the same month in the previous year.) Airports in the Canary Islands received a total of 787,687 foreign passengers during April 2012, a decrease of 148,948 tourists (-15.90%) over the same month in 2011. This dramatic drop is in contrast with figures recorded for April 2011, which saw an increase of 65%. So far this year, statistics provided by AENA show that 3,648,225 foreign passengers visited the islands, which is a decrease of 114,310 tourists (-3.04%) compared to the same period in 2011.

Fuerteventura is the only island with positive figures, seeing an increase of 20.24% in foreign visitor arrivals. The Deputy Minister of Tourism of the Canary Islands, Ricardo Fernández de la Puente, said in a statement that “this drop in tourism was predictable given the behaviour of the international economy and its impact on the tourism industry.”

Increases in Robbery Trade Union Unity For The Teachers’ Are a Symptom of Strike Begins To Crumble the Recession

The Ministry of Interior have recently released statistics which point the finger of blame at the recession and high unemployment for a dramatic rise in robberies in homes in the Canary. Although this phenomenon is general throughout the country, up 22.3% from January to March, figures from the Canaries are almost twice the national average; in the province of Santa Cruz de Tenerife these figures reached 38.8%, while in the province of Las Palmas there was an increase of 44.4%. The data from the whole of Spain reflect a satisfactory decrease of 1.9% of criminal offences recorded in the first quarter of this year, but unfortunately the

Canaries presents a global rise of 3.2% which is the second worst result of the country. These figures are blamed on the increased pressure caused by the economic crisis and an unemployment rate of almost 32% along with the fact that the Canaries climate means the islands are a vulnerable place for most of the year because the weather encourages people to leave terrace doors or windows open. This is leading to a feeling of insecurity spreading widely among the residents of the islands and is leading to continuous complaints from traders and businessmen from the South of Tenerife, particularly between residential areas close to large urban centres.

Is the national strike of teachers, called on Tuesday (22nd), going to take place? It depends. Until Wednesday (16th) it seemed clear that the vast majority of unions supported the initiative, especially after four of them, ANPE, CCOO, UGT and CSI-CSIF expressed their backing of the strike to the Ministry of Education. However, FETE-UGT surprised everyone, later on Wednesday, by stating that their teachers will not join the strike, and decided to leave the Canary Islands United Front for Public Education, consisting of all unions, among other groups. The general secretary of FETE-UGT, Jesús Tejera, said that the strike will only occur in colleges, and has already been convened at La Laguna University. The union argues that their filing, on Tuesday, was only to “provide cover” for workers who choose individually to join the strike. To strengthen their

Shares of Bankia, the Spanish bank that was partly nationalised last week, went into free fall on Thursday on reports of a run on the bank’s deposits. At 1pm (Thursday, 17th), the bank’s shares were down 16.07 per cent at 1.39 euros after having fallen 11.12 per cent the previous session. At one point Bankia was down by as much as 29 per cent. The shares are some 70 per cent off their listing price in July of last year. The blue-chip Ibex 35 was down 1.66 per cent at 6,501.70 points. Bankia has lost over half its market capitalization since Rodrigo Rato resigned as chairman of Spain´s fourth-biggest lender in terms of market capitalisation. The former IMF managing director’s departure was followed days later by the

position, UGT claims that the call for protests by the United Front refers to demonstrations and strikes, but does not specifically mention teachers. However, other co-ordinators, CCOO

Shares In Bankia Plunge

government’s decision to take a controlling stake in Bankia’s parent Banco Financiero y de Ahorro (BFA), which effectively also gives it control of Bankia. BFA reported a profit of 40.9 million euros last year and Bankia earnings of 304.7 million, but the bank’s auditor declined to give its stamp to the results, which are to be restated, in all likelihood presenting a much grimmer picture of the bank’s financial situation. BFA is heavily exposed to the real estate sector, which has been in a dire slump since around the

and ANPE, stressed that the strike has been called with the intention of going through with it, and in this sense, have been asking teachers to second the motion.

start of 2008. The government has required the country’s banks to significantly increase their coverage from possible losses from their real estate related assets, which will eat into lenders’ earnings, possibly causing some of them to post losses and cut off dividend payments. Bankia shareholders’ woes coincide with an auction of Treasury bonds in which the government’s debt management arm was obliged to sharply increase the yields offered. Spain’s risk premium climbed nine basis points to 491 basis points after hitting a new euro-era high of 507 basis points on Wednesday. The National Statistics Institute on Thursday also confirmed that Spain slipped back into recession at the start of this year for the second time in three years as GDP declined 0.3 per cent in the first quarter.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 useful information

With a hoped-for increase in the number of tourists visiting these islands, it is appropriate to mention a subject that I am often consulted upon – the Holiday Clubs. In the UK, the Office of Fair Trading recently issued a warning to consumers about bogus holiday clubs as part of its ‘Scams Awareness Month’. It said 400,000 UK consumers fall victim to these clubs every year at a cost of over £1 billion. Members of the OFT’s ‘Scambusters’ team have been leafleting holiday makers at Cardiff, Gatwick and Stansted airports, warning them of the tactics used by bogus holiday clubs and how to avoid being taken in by them. Many consumers are approached on holiday by a ‘scratchcard tout’, according to the OFT. “The card will always be a winner but to collect your prize you will need to attend a presentation to learn more about a new holiday venture,” said a spokesman. “The presentation will be held at a professional looking sales ‘deck’ where you will be made to feel as if you are joining an exclusive club. The truth is that, more often than not, you could obtain the same holidays at the same price via the Internet or at your local travel agency.” The OFT is working with the Spanish European Consumer Centre to warn consumers of the slick sales techniques used. Mike Haley, head of Scambusters at the OFT, said: “Unscrupulous holiday club companies often don’t deliver what they promise and leave consumers thousands of pounds out of pocket. “If you do go along to a presentation, ask

HOLIDAY CLUBS By Michael Rhodes Tel: (34) 922 796 744

the company three simple questions: Do you give cooling off rights? Is everything you promised in the presentation in the contract? Can I take away the contract to consider at my leisure? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then simply walk away.” The effect of the so-called Discount Travel Membership Clubs emerged during a roundtable discussion involving the Organisation for Timeshare in Europe, the OFT and the Madrid-based European Consumer Centre.

The three organisations reaffirmed their commitment to working against fraudulent holiday clubs they claim are preying on UK consumers. The OTE argues that timeshare companies build quality holiday resorts whereas holiday clubs, which do not own or control the accommodation offered, charge a substantial fee for what amounts to little more than a booking service and consumers may find the discounts offered amount to nothing. The ECC is preparing to take a more

significant role in the policing and enforcement of bogus holiday clubs in Spain. Frank Chapman, chairman of the Timeshare Council, the UK arm of OTE, said: “Bogus holiday clubs are a ticking time bomb that could have a devastating effect on consumers in future years. “For the first couple of years or so, these companies may be able to deliver what they are promising, but a number of years down the line this may not be the case and it is here the time bomb explodes. “This will also have a detrimental effect on the timeshare industry unless the media ceases to confuse these with timeshare.” In the past successful prosecution has been rare, due to the difficulties in taking action against fraudulent operators targeting British consumers on holiday in Spain. But by strengthening relations between the UK and Spain and creating a focused cross-border team working to bring a small band of perpetrators to justice, consumers will benefit, the OFT believes. It should be borne in mind that the legislation that covers timeshare sales, where there is a compulsory cooling off period and no deposit can be taken during that cooling off period, all of which must clearly appear in any contract, does not apply to Holiday Clubs. There are reputable Holiday Clubs operating in Spain and it is important to understand exactly what you are getting for your money and whether you feel in your own particular case that it will give you value for money.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 local news

Barry Sparkle presents…

X Factor Star Sings in the Tenerife Sunshine Lucie Jones, star of the X Factor 2009, took a night out whilst in Tenerife last week to enjoy the Decades Goes to Hollywood Dinner show. Once Barry Sparkle, from Vivo Treasure Island, realised who she was he asked her if she would perform on the outside stage, that Marc Craig their resident singer uses. Lucie was more than happy to oblige and she delighted the packed venue with her singing talents. Lucie said “this is the first time I have been away for winter sun to Tenerife, but it certainly won´t be the last” she went on to comment that she had never realised you could travel such a short distance from the UK at this time of year and get such fantastic weather.

Photo - Fly Fotography

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Amateur Astronomers Boost ESA’s Asteroid Hunt A partnership with the UK’s Faulkes Telescope Project promises to boost the Agency’s space hazards research while helping students to discover potentially dangerous space rocks. ESA’s Space Situational Awareness (SSA) programme is keeping watch over space hazards, including disruptive space weather, debris objects in Earth orbit and asteroids that pass close enough to cause concern. The asteroids - known as ‘near-Earth objects’, or NEOs, since they cross Earth’s orbit - are a particular problem. Any attempt to survey and catalogue hazardous asteroids faces a number of difficulties. They’re often jet black or at least very dark, they can approach rather too close before anyone sees them, and they’re often spotted only once and then disappear, before the discovery can be confirmed. So ESA is turning to amateur astronomers to ‘crowdsource’ observations

as part of Europe’s contribution to the global asteroid hunt. These efforts will add to the follow-up observations already done at ESA’s own telescope on Tenerife. This month, the UK’s Faulkes Telescope Project will become the latest team to formally support the SSA programme. Spain’s La Sagra Sky Survey, operated by the Observatorio Astronomico de Mallorca, began helping SSA earlier this year. “The wider astronomy community offers a wealth of expertise and enthusiasm, and they have

the time and patience to verify new sightings; this helps tremendously,” says Detlef Koschny, Head of NEO activity at ESA’s SSA programme office. “In return, we share observing time at ESA’s own Optical Ground Station in Tenerife and provide advice, support and professional validation. We’ll assist them in any way we can.” The Faulkes Telescope Project runs both educational and research programmes, based at the University of Glamorgan in the UK.

Callao Learning Centre Holiday Activities for July - August 2012 Based on our fantastic week at Easter, when 22 children joined in our activities, we are planning to make the time as fun filled as possible - purposeful play! I am conscious that many parents want their kids to keep studying, but I like to sneak up on the children so they don’t realise they are working! As I like the children to feel they have input into their activities, they may help to decide the topics they want to study, but that will depend on the age and capabilities of the group involved. If you look at our photos on the website and Facebook page, you will see the sort of thing we have done in the past;

such as making a puppet show and creating a town. The topics I have in mind to kick start us are ‘Under the Sea’ and ‘Pirates’, but the choice is endless! The Diamond Jubilee and Olympics in the UK are also events that would make for interesting activities. At 11.00 we will be stopping for snack time, and around 1.00 will be time for packed lunches, all of which the parents

provide. We have a fridge available at the centre to store food safely. Children can be dropped off & collected at any time between 9 - 4, and the charges are as follows: 2.50 Euros per hour 15 Euros per day 70 Euros Euros per week (to be paid in advance on Monday morning) Hope to see you and your children in July and August!

Here is a provisional daily timetable: 9.00-10.00

Play activities at the centre to practise English and maths skills - socialisation – conversation

10.00-11.00

Sporty games at Atlantic Hotel tennis court

11.00 - 1.00

English skills based on topics chosen for the week - reading, writing & listening skills

1.00 - 3.00

Art & craft activities

3.00 - 4.00

Playtime

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

British Bomb Hoaxers Another British Walker Released From Custody Dies in the Canaries

The two British youngsters, 20 year old Aidan-Paul Jenvis, and Mathan Levi aged 21, who were arrested at the Reina Sofia Airport last Friday after giving a false bomb alert during a Thomas Cook flight from Manchester, have now been released from custody, but they cannot leave Tenerife until the case against them comes to court. Their passports have been removed. They have been held since Friday in the cells of the Local Police in Granadilla de Abona. They are now staying at the apartment they had rented for their holiday break. The two are reported to have been drunk when they claimed to the other passengers and a stewardess that they had a

A 73-year-old British tourist died on Sunday afternoon (13th May), while out walking in the municipality of Moya in Gran Canaria. He fell down the Azuaje cliff, according to 112 emergency services.

The body was recovered by a Civil Protection helicopter from the Canaries Government which took it to the Moya

football ground where the death was certified. Local police from Moya and the Gran Canaria Emergencies Council and Civil Protection also took part in the operation. It follows the death of another Briton, aged 78, from heatstroke, while out walking the day before in MorgĂĄn on Saturday. The person, who has not been named, had a heart attack.

Another Satisfied Customer for Universal Exports

bomb in their hand luggage. There was some debate as to whether they would be judged under Spanish or British legislation, given the offence happened on a British plane, considered to be British soil, but it seems they will be tried under Article 82 of the Air Navigation Law in Spain. Guardia civil sources said that in all probability it will be a fast track hearing and

the two will be expelled to the UK once they have paid a fine. Spanish law says there is a jail sentence of between six months and a year in prison, but it is unlikely they will go to jail as they have no previous record in Spain. A plan for Britain to ask for the extradition of the two to face terrorism charges in the UK has now been dismissed.

Although Universal Exports are used to shipping the household effects of clients to and from Tenerife it is not every day they get a request to ship two valuable antique Luis Vuitton Steamer Trunks, this was the case recently. The company were contacted by Mr. S. Chislett of Abingdon who requested that they collected, packed and shipped the precious heirlooms to his home in Oxford. The job was duly carried out and on the 16th May the company received the following e-mail:

Hi Sorry not to send this sooner, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been manic at work. Just to say thank you. Everything was perfect and the trunks arrived well wrapped safe and sound. I shall know who to recommend if anyone else needs similar services. Excellent service. Thanks again Simon

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The Municipality of

San Cristóbal de La Laguna An Insightful Guide - Part Four

Welcome back to our trip around the island of Tenerife. This week sees the fourth, and final, part of our feature on San Cristóbal de La Laguna. A Quick Recap of Part 3 Our main focus last week was the battle of Aguere, where the Spanish finally conquered the indigenous people of Tenerife, the Guanches. The king of the Guanches, mencey Bencomo, died during the assault, leaving the demoralised islanders to capitulate to the conquistadors demands. Climate Owing to its northerly aspect that captures moisture from the prevailing north-easterly winds, San Cristóbal de La Laguna has a Mediterranean climate that contrasts with the arid climate of other cities on the Island; with three to five times more rainfall than on the southern slopes, around ten per cent less sunshine, and about ten per cent higher humidity throughout the year. Cathedral of La Laguna The Cathedral of San Cristóbal de La Laguna or Catedral de Nuestra Señora de los Remedios (Santa Iglesia Catedral de San Cristóbal de La Laguna, in Spanish) is a Catholic cathedral. Begun in 1904 and

By Carlos Hernández

completed in 1915, it is dedicated to the Virgin of Los Remedios. This is one of the most important temples of the Canary Islands. In this temple lie the remains of Alonso Fernández de Lugo, conqueror of the island

and founder of the city. The cathedral is located in the historic centre of the city of La Laguna, declared a World Heritage Site in 1999 by UNESCO. The cathedral’s building style is described as Neoclassical, Neo-Gothic and Renaissance. Every year the statue of Cristo de La Laguna is carried in a solemn procession to the cathedral where he stayed a few days before returning to its sanctuary also located in this city. In 1511 on the site of the current building (Plaza of Albino Monk) a hermitage was built, which was replaced in 1515 with a major construction dedicated to the Virgin of the Remedies of Mudejar style, with a tower added in 1618. The temple became a cathedral in 1819, when the new diocese of La Laguna was created. The front, neoclassic, dates back to 1825; the current structure was constructed between 1904 and 1916 and is of Neo-Gothic style. Inside there is a notable pulpit of Carrara’s Italian marble carved by Pasquale Bocciardo, which departs from the set of Mazuelos’s Altarpiece. In addition, there are valuable works by Cristóbal Hernández de Quintana, Luján Perez and Fernando Estévez. The cathedral has three wide aisles and an ambulatory (unique in the Canary Islands) which surrounds the chancel, or altar. These elements give the interior of the cathedral a typical medieval European feel in contrast with the colonial style of the exterior. The cathedral was constructed from concrete, one of the first buildings in Spain to use a material which is now used extensively in a wide range of buildings. Unfortunately, having been a pioneer

in this field, the technology was not fully developed; as a result it developed numerous faults which required large amounts of repair and improvement work. In the era during which the building was constructed and dedicated as cathedral, the capital of the island was the city of San Cristóbal de La Laguna; the diocesan headquarters still remain in the city. This is the reason that the cathedral was built there and not in the current capital of the island, Santa Cruz de Tenerife. University of La Laguna The University Of San Fernando de La Laguna, also known as the ULL (Spanish, Universidad de La Laguna) is the oldest university in the Canary Islands, and has the highest student population of any university in the Canaries. It is also considered the most important university of the Canary Islands. It has four campuses: Central, Anchieta, Guajara, and Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Its origins date to the year 1701 when a centre for advanced studies was established by the Augustinians in the town of La Laguna. A Papal Bull of 1744 proposed that it be converted into the Ecclesiastical University of San Agustín. In 1792, by royal decree, Charles IV of Spain ordered the establishment in San Cristóbal de La Laguna, then the capital of Tenerife, of the first Universidad Literaria of the Canaries, but the political situation on the mainland prevented its establishment. However, with the restoration of the House of Bourbon in the guise of Fernando VII of Spain, the university was established at La Laguna as the Universidad de San Fernando, in spite of objections from the governments of the other islands. Holy Week Holy Week in the city of San Cristóbal de la Laguna is the largest of the Canary Islands. Holy Week has steps of great historical and artistic value, such as the aforementioned Cristo de La Laguna, accompanied by their guilds; some of them centuries old and which adopted the use of the hood in the nineteenth century.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 business news

JPMorgan Executive Steps A B l e a k M o r n i n g o n Down Af ter $2bn Loss t h e M a d r i d M a r k e t s

JPMorgan Chase says its chief investment officer is to leave after a $2bn (£1.2bn) trading blunder. The Wall Street firm said Ina Drew, who oversaw the London-based division responsible for the trading mistake, will leave after more than 30 years. Matt Zames, the bank’s cochief of global fixed income in its investment bank, will take over from Ms Drew. On Sunday (13th), JPMorgan boss Jamie Dimon said he was “dead wrong” to dismiss concerns about trading at the bank. Following a testing week for the bank, President Barack Obama in a US TV interview took the opportunity to cite the trading loss as an example as to why he pushed laws to curb the power of big banks. “JPMorgan is one of the best managed banks there is. Jamie Dimon, the head of it, is one of the smartest bankers we’ve got and they still lost $2bn and counting,” Mr Obama said. “It’s going to be investigated, but this is why we passed Wall Street reform.” It had been reported on Monday that Ms Drew, one of JPMorgan’s best-paid

executives, had offered her resignation several times following disclosure of the losses last Thursday. However, in a statement issued in New York, Mr Dimon said: “Ina Drew has been a great partner over her many years with our firm. Despite our recent losses in the CIO, Ina’s vast contributions to our company should not be overshadowed by these events.” “It’s important to remember that our company is very strong and well capitalised. We maintain our fortress balance sheet and capital strength to withstand setbacks like this.” JPMorgan’s shares opened, down a further 3% after falling almost 10% on Friday following news of the trading blunder. Mr Dimon had previously dismissed growing speculation that the bank

was facing losses. Speaking on NBC’s Meet the Press, on Sunday, Mr Dimon said: “We made a terrible, egregious mistake. There’s almost no excuse for it.” He said he did not know the full extent of the problem in April, when he described the concerns as a “tempest in a teapot”. The losses were made at a small trading unit in London. Reports suggest that Achilles Macris, head of the unit, and Javier Martin-Artajo, a member of the desk, could also resign. They also suggest the position of trader Bruno Michel Iksil, nicknamed the London Whale, will come under scrutiny. The trading loss was revealed in a regulatory filing, and will dent the company’s profits, although it still expects to make about $4bn this quarter.

Business Briefs

Data from the European Central Bank shows that in April Spanish establishments took nearly 70% of the bank’s total loans. The banks debt reached a new record, up 15.7%, at 263.535 billion in April. The BBVA bank thinks that the tensions on the markets are worse than after the Lehman bankruptcy. With the Risk Premium at a high, and increasing doubts about Spanish financial entities, the bank has warned of the deterioration in its annual report present to the Securities and Exchange Commission. Construction companies are fleeing from Spain with 80% of their contracts now coming from abroad. The falling of domestic demand has triggered the internationalisation of the many companies including ACS, FCC, Ferrovial, Sacyr Vallehermoso, OHL and Acciona. Madrid is missing out on 109 million euros a year for pardoning the IBI tax on palaces and public buildings. A state law exempts religious temples, historic buildings and embassies from paying the estate tax. Many of these buildings are privately owned, and the Town Halls are now asking Hacienda to get them to pay. The Council for Judicial Power, the body which oversees the judiciary, has issued a report with harsh criticism of the Justice Minister, Alberto Ruiz-Gallardón, who has suggest putting up judicial charges. The Council describes his suggestions as ‘excessive and exorbitant’. Gallardón wants to collect 306million euros with his proposed changes. Panrico is closing its factory in Sevilla in a measure to cut the size of the workforce. 197 work at the Sevilla factory. Management has said that the closure is ‘an urgent necessity’ to reduce costs and carry out a viability plan. Activity will be moved to their factory in Puente Genil, Córdoba. A United States senator has called for Argentina to be expelled from the G-20 because they violated national laws by nationalising the Repsol subsidiary YPF. Senator Richard Lugar said ‘Argentina has not met the responsibilities inherent in belonging to the G-20’. Nobel Prize winner for the Economy, and winner of the Prince of Asturias Award, Paul Krugman, has said on his blog what he thinks will happen to the economy. He writes “Some of us have been talking it over, and here’s what we think the end game looks like: 1. Greek euro exit, very possibly next month. 2. Huge withdrawals from Spanish and Italian banks, as depositors try to move their money to Germany. 3a. Maybe, just possibly, de facto controls, with banks forbidden to transfer deposits out of country and limits on cash withdrawals. 3b. Alternatively, or maybe in tandem, huge draws on ECB credit to keep the banks from collapsing. 4a. Germany has a choice. Accept huge indirect public claims on Italy and Spain, plus a drastic revision of strategy — basically, to give Spain in particular any hope you need both guarantees on its debt to hold borrowing costs down and a higher Eurozone inflation target to make relative price adjustment possible; or: 4b. End of the euro. And we’re talking about months, not years, for this to play out”.

On Monday morning (14th) the IBEX 35 had fallen 2.75% by 11am and all the shares were down, led by Bankia which continued it fall, down 7.34% to just 1.92 euros. The banks have been hit with the news that they need to make more provisions under yet another new Government regulation, having to cover 15 billion in total. Bankia has to find 4.722 billion, Caixabank 3.389 billion, Popular 2.314 billion and the BBVA 1.8 billion. The Risk Premium has risen amid fears that Greece could leave the Euro.

The Eurogroup will examine the latest reforms from the Rajoy government. Together with concern about Spain’s banks, the European Commission is worried about the state of the regional government finances in Spain. The European Economy Commissioner, Olli Rehn, welcomed the ‘decisive’ reform; the fourth of the Spanish banks. He said it should dissipate the prolonged doubts about stability in the sector, and said it was the cornerstone of Spain’s answer to the crisis. The treasury has managed to place 2.9 billion euros in

bonds on Monday morning, but only by paying a much higher interest because of the increasing tension on the markets. The objective was between 2 and 3 million, and it placed 2.19 million at 12 months at 2.985% (compared to 2.622 last time). It also placed 710 million at 18 months for 3.302% (3.11% in April). This was the first auction since the nationalisation of Bankia and the Government’s latest financial reform which obliges the banks to destine another 30 billion to cover the real estate and promoters sector.

UK Trade Deficit Narrows

The UK’s trade deficit narrowed in March, driven in particular by stronger exports to the US, China and Russia, official figures have shown. The seasonally adjusted trade deficit in goods and services was £2.7bn, against £2.9bn the month before, the Office for National Statistics said. Car exports in March were worth £200m more than the previous month. The deficit on seasonally adjusted trade in goods was £8.6bn in March, unchanged on February. The ONS said that the surplus on trade in services was estimated at £5.8bn in March compared with a £5.6bn surplus the month before. Vicky Redwood, economist at Capital Economics, said that the figures revealed the impact of slowing trade with the Eurozone. “The breakdown of the figures suggests that the Eurozone crisis is taking its toll,” she said. “The rise in exports was driven by a 12% jump in exports to outside the EU; export values to the EU were flat. The deepening of the Eurozone crisis in recent days suggests that the near-term export outlook remains pretty poor, especially given the further rise in the pound.” The deficit in trade in goods with EU

countries widened by £700m to £4.5bn in March, compared with the deficit of £3.7bn in February. Exports were virtually unchanged at £13.2bn, and imports rose by £800m, or 4.4%, to £17.6bn. Trade in goods with non-EU countries reached record levels, with both imports and exports at an all-time high in March. Imports to the UK of goods from non-EU states rose by £700m, or 4%, to £17.3bn, while exports rose by £1.4bn, up 12.1%. That left the overall deficit on goods trade narrowing by £800m to £4.1bn, compared with February’s deficit of £4.9bn. The value of chemicals exported to nonEU countries rose by £200m in March. The shipbuilding sector also saw the value of exports rise by the same amount. Nevertheless, the ONS figures provide little optimism about UK economic growth overall, economists said. “All in all, the trade data represents a drag on growth in the first quarter, which is reasonable because our overseas trading partners are not exactly firing on all cylinders, so demand for our goods is suffering,” said Alan Clark at Scotiabank. Peter Dixon at Commerzbank added: “The trend looks like we’re moving more or less sideways.”

Facebook’s Eduardo Saverin Quits US Ahead Of Flotation

Facebook’s co-founder Eduardo Saverin has renounced his US citizenship ahead of the company going public on Friday. Brazilian-born Mr Saverin, 30, will avoid paying around $600m (£373m) in tax when he picks up his share of the site’s stock offering. A spokesman said Mr Saverin “found it more practical to become a resident of Singapore since he plans to live there for an indefinite period of time”. He made the move to renounce his citizenship in September 2011. However, his decision was only made public last week when the US Internal Revenue Service published a list of Americans giving up their citizenship. Mr Saverin has lived in Singapore since 2009. He had fled to Miami in 1993 after his father discovered his name on a list of targets for gangs specialising in kidnapping family members for ransom.

Mr Saverin can be credited with much of Facebook’s early success. He was the site’s first chief financial officer, putting up the money needed to help Mark Zuckerberg get the social network off the ground. However, he eventually left the company following mounting disagreements with Mr Zuckerberg - a dispute depicted in the 2010 film The Social Network.

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world news

Ratko Mladic “Led Ethnic Cleansing”

Former Bosnian Serb army commander Ratko Mladic intended to “ethnically cleanse” Bosnia, the opening day of his war crimes trial has heard. Gen Mladic faces 11 counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity, including genocide, in connection with the brutal 1992-95 Bosnian war. Prosecutors in The Hague said they would show his hand in the crimes. He has called the accusations “monstrous” and the court has entered a not guilty plea on his behalf. Gen Mladic is accused of orchestrating the massacre of more than 7,000 Bosniak (Bosnian Muslim) boys and men at Srebrenica in 1995. He is also charged in connection with the 44-month siege of Sarajevo during which more than 10,000 people died. Gen Mladic, dressed in a dark grey suit, applauded and gave a thumbsup as the judges walked in. The prosecution opened the hearing at the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia (ICTY) with an audio-visual presentation laying out the case against Gen Mladic. Prosecuting Counsel, Dermot Groome, said they would prove Gen Mladic’s hand in the crimes. “Four days ago marked two decades since Ratko Mladic became the commander of the main staff of the army of Republika Srpska - the VRS,” he said. “On that day, Mladic began his full participation in a criminal endeavour that was already in progress. On that day, he assumed the mantle of realising, through military might, the criminal goals of ethnically cleansing much of

Bosnia. On that day, he commenced his direct involvement in serious international crimes.” Mr Groome said that by the time Gen Mladic and his troops had “murdered thousands in Srebrenica”, they were “well-rehearsed in the craft of murder”. He then showed judges video of the aftermath of a notorious shelling of a market in the Bosnian capital Sarajevo, in which dozens of people died. Mr Groome said there was “no doubt” that Gen Mladic had controlled the shelling of Sarajevo. He had promised that the city would shake, the prosecutor said. Mr Groome said the attacks were part of an “overarching” plan to ethnically cleanse non-Serbs from parts of Bosnia. Gen Mladic has been awaiting trial in the same prison as his former political leader Radovan Karadzic, who was arrested in 2008 and is now about half-way through his trial on similar charges to Gen Mladic. Mr Groome said Radovan

Karadzic’s choice of Gen Mladic was not random but because he could help to achieve the strategic goals of Bosnian Serbs. At one point, presiding Judge Alphons Orie told Gen Mladic to focus on the court proceedings and not take part in “inappropriate interaction” with people in the public gallery. Mr Groome said crimes of sexual violence had played an integral part of the process of “taking over and ethnically cleansing Bosnia”. “While women were most often targeted for such crimes of terrible violation, men were also victims,” he said. In the third and final session of the day, the prosecution highlighted the role of snipers in Sarajevo, showing images of a child shot dead on a street and pictures taken from sniper nests overlooking the besieged city. The trial was later adjourned until Thursday. During the proceedings, members of the Mothers of Srebrenica group

Ryanair Website Offline but Users Will Still Be Fined

Never ready to miss an opportunity for making money, budget airline Ryanair will continue to fine passengers who have failed to print off their boarding cards, even though they will be turning the facility off whilst their website undergoes an upgrade. They have issued the warning on their website, the same website which will be switched off, stating that ryanair.com will be closed for upgrade maintenance between Friday 18th May and Sunday 20th May. They then shift the responsibility for not printing off documentation in time to the user, stating that “Passengers must ensure that they have booked tickets, checked

in online and printed their boarding passes etc. prior to the below times”. Despite the fact that the work is their own doing, the airline will continue its usual policy of charging £60 per person, per flight, or 60 Euros for those outside the UK, to issue a boarding pass at the airport, even though

you may not be able to print the document. Various consumer associations in Spain are already taking action against Ryanair, to which this will no doubt be added to the growing list of what many consider to be outrageous abuses of the rights of consumers.

held a vigil outside the court. A Bosniak survivor of the Serb-run detention camps at Omarska and Manjaca in northern Bosnia said he was glad to be at the opening day of Gen Mladic’s trial. “It’s the first time I’ve seen this man, today, the man responsible for genocide and war crimes in Bosnia-Hercegovina together with Karadzic as political leader,” Satko Mujagic told reporters. Counsel Dermot Groome: “The indictment against Mladic charges crimes of sexual violence” Judicial authorities have rejected defence calls to delay proceedings, most recently a petition to have Dutch Judge Orie replaced on grounds of alleged bias. However, even as the trial began, there were further indications it would be delayed. Judge Orie said the court was considering postponing the presentation of evidence - due to start on 29th May - due to “errors” by the prosecution in disclosing evidence to the defence. Mr Groome said

he would not oppose a “reasonable adjournment”. Gen Mladic spent 15 years on the run before being apprehended by Serb forces last May and sent to The Hague. The number of crimes of which he stands accused has been almost halved to speed up his trial. Gen Mladic is accused of committing genocide and other crimes against Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims) and Bosnian Croats in a campaign of ethnic cleansing that began in 1992 and climaxed in Srebrenica in 1995. Then, Serb fighters overran the Srebrenica enclave in eastern Bosnia - supposedly under the protection of Dutch UN peacekeepers. Men and boys were separated off, shot dead and bulldozed into mass graves later to be dug up and reburied in more remote spots. These were the worst atrocities in Europe since the end of World War II. Pre-trial hearings have been characterised by ill-tempered outbursts from Gen Mladic, who has heckled the judge and interrupted proceedings. “The whole world knows who I am,” he said at a hearing last year. “I am General Ratko Mladic. I defended my people, my country... now I am defending myself.” The case has stirred up strong emotions among watching survivors, with some shouting “murderer” and “killer” from the court gallery. However, while Gen Mladic’s critics consider him a butcher, to some Serbs he is a national hero. Gen Mladic suffered at least one stroke while in hiding and remains in frail health. The architect of the Balkan wars, former Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic, died in detention in his cell in 2006, before receiving a verdict.

Masseur Drops Travolta Sexual Assault Lawsuit

One of the two male masseurs, who accused actor John Travolta of sexual assault, has dropped his $2m lawsuit. However, the lawyer for the second masseur said he was going ahead with his case and was confident of success. The unidentified man, referred to as John Doe No 1, who claimed that the Hollywood star groped him during a massage session in Beverly Hills in January, filed a notice dismissing his lawsuit with federal court in Los Angeles. The man was reported last week to have said he got the wrong date of the alleged incident after photos and restaurant receipts surfaced putting the Saturday Night Fever actor in New York on the same day. “The case has been dismissed, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be refiled,” the plaintiff’s lawyer, Okorie Okorocha, said. Mr Okorocha said he still will be going ahead with the lawsuit involving a second unidentified man, John Doe No 2.

John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston This man claimed that Travolta rubbed his leg, touched his genitals and tried to initiate sex at a private appointment at an Atlanta hotel on 28th January. Asked whether he was concerned about the credibility of John Doe No 2’s suit in light of the first masseur’s dismissal, Mr Okorocha said: “Not at all. I’m not worried about anything with John Doe 2.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 world news

Euro Crisis: UK Plans For Currency Break-Up

The governor of the Bank of England has delivered a scathing verdict on the handling of the Eurozone debt crisis and confirmed contingency plans for a potential break-up of the single currency. Sir Mervyn King, at the launch of the Bank’s quarterly inflation report, admitted discussions were being held in the UK on how to handle the collapse of the euro. The Bank, the Treasury and the Financial Services Authority are contemplating the worstcase scenario, which would send shockwaves around the world. In the report, the Bank warned of continued risk of a “disorderly” outcome for the Eurozone, as part of its wider forecasts for the UK economy. Sir Mervyn admitted that the bank could not quantify the most extreme risks from the single currency area, but declared that the UK’s biggest trading

partner was “tearing itself apart without any obvious solution.” He said “Just kicking the can down the road is not an answer.” The Bank of England’s governor believes the single currency area is “tearing itself apart.” His comments came as the turmoil in the region continues after Greek political leaders failed to form a coalition government, forcing a new election in June.

The country could be denied further EU bailout funds if a party opposing drastic austerity measures comes to power, which could lead to Greece leaving the euro. As Sir Mervyn spoke, investors continued their flight from risk over the crisis. In addition to the bleeding of value in Greek equities, there has been something of a run on the country’s banks; as depositors move to protect

themselves from a potential devaluation. As much as 700 million euros (£569m) was reportedly withdrawn in a single day. The jitters crossed into Spain and Italy again in early trading as the contagion widened - with the spread on 10 year bonds between Spain and Germany reaching a new record high earlier. The euro also hit a threeand-a-half year low.

Mum Shoots Dead Four Kids Then Kills Herself

A mother shot and killed her four children before turning a gun on herself in a small town in Florida. The victims, aged 12, 13, 15 and 17, were shot by their mother, Tonya Thomas, at their house in Brevard County, 15 miles from Nasa’s Kennedy Space Centre. A neighbour told police that three of the children had banged on his door shortly before 5am on Tuesday before Thomas, 33, ordered them home. Shortly afterward police were called after reports of gunfire. Police spokesman, Tod Goodyear, said when officers arrived they found a 17-year-old girl lying in the front garden of the house. She was declared dead at the scene. More shots were then heard from inside the house as an armed response unit arrived.

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Mr Goodyear added: “They heard shots as the Swat team arrived. They put together two entry teams, entered the residence through the back... and in clearing the residence found four persons fatally wounded inside.” Mr Goodywar said it was the worst murder case he could recall in Brevard County since six people were shot dead in 1987, two of them police officers. Police had been called to the house on several occasions in the past. The 15-year-old, a boy, was arrested last month charged with attacking his mother. Thomas’ husband, the father of all of the children, moved out of the house a few months ago, Mr Goodyear said. Tuesday’s incident was the second deadly shooting in Port St John in the past week. Six murders were committed in Brevard County in 2011.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 IRISH NEWS

No Vote in Referendum Would Be ‘Leap In The Dark’

Minister for Finance, Michael Noonan, warned (on Wednesday, 16th) voting No in the upcoming EU fiscal treaty referendum on 31st May would be a “leap in the dark” and a “dangerous leap that Irish citizens should not take”. He also told a Dublin event that no other European country but Ireland would be able to pass a referendum on the fiscal treaty. The Minister said the mood did not exist elsewhere in the European Union that would allow for the passing of a Yes vote and there was no mood for a vote on the matter in any other European country. The Irish people were very well informed about the proposed treaty and it was a common topic of conversation throughout the State, he said, adding: “There are parts of Europe where they haven’t a clue about the treaty.” A Yes vote would send a very strong and positive message about Ireland’s

Navy Detains Spanish Boat off Kerry A Spanish registered vessel has been detained by the Naval Service for breaching fishing regulations off the Co Kerry coast. The Naval Service vessel LE Aisling escorted the Spanish boat to Castletownbere, Co Cork. It was expected to arrive at 1pm at which time it would be turned over to Gardaí. The Spanish vessel was detected some 324km (175 nautical miles) off Mizen Head, Co Kerry.

ability to run its own affairs to the world and would add greatly to the confidence people had in the Irish economy. He said the contrast to this would be the world’s view of Greece and its ability to run its affairs. He said perhaps it would have been a good idea if Greece had had a referendum on its restructuring programme as had been proposed some time ago. “Maybe they should have a referendum now.” The Minister said the vote should be on whether it wanted to stay in the euro, including the conditions that would apply.

Mr Noonan said all member states wanted Greece to stay in the euro and that he believed Greece could stay in the currency if it sorted out its democratic position and committed itself to the restructuring programme through which it had received 180 billion Euros of European taxpayers’ money. He said he did not believe it was guaranteed that Greece would leave the euro and that the country’s problem was now a democratic crisis rather than an economic one. Asked about the effect of the departure of Greece from the euro, he said Greece was very far from Ireland and there were few economic links.

Man Injured In Dublin Shooting

Gardaí investigating a shooting in west Dublin on Tuesday (15th) have recovered a gun. A 32-year-old man was wounded while sitting in a car outside Finnegan’s pub on Sarsfield Road in Ballyfermot at about 11.10pm. He was targeted by a lone gunman who discharged a number of shots. The victim was taken to Tallaght Hospital

for treatment, but his injuries were not said to be serious. The gunman left the scene in a getaway car which was found burned out at Goldenbridge Terrace, Inchicore later that night. A gun was recovered close to the burned out car. The scenes of the shooting and fire are being preserved by Gardaí for a technical examination.

Occupy Galway Protest Camp Removed From Eyre Square

A Garda operation has taken place to remove the Occupy Galway protest camp in Eyre Square. Up to 50 Gardaí moved in to dismantle the camp at around 4.30am on Wednesday morning. There were around six protesters on the site at the time and one man was arrested. Access to the square was restricted. Galway City Council workers assisted Gardaí in the operation. The camp was established nearly seven months ago. The council’s Director of Services Ciarán Hayes said

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the operation to remove the camp had been planned for some time. It said it fully respects the right of any person or group to engage in lawful protest. However, it stressed that the encampment was occupying a public amenity, which is not permitted under the law.

The council passed its third motion in relation to the camp on Monday night. It expressed concern that it should be removed before the Volvo Ocean Race grand finale next month. Councillors said the “eyes of the world” would be on Galway during the festival from 30 June to 8 July.

The Naval Service said it had carried out 498 boardings, issued 25 warnings and detained eight vessels so far this year.

Paddy Power Advert ‘Offensive’ Bookmaker Paddy Power has fallen foul of the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority over an advert for Ladies’ Day at the Cheltenham Festival which featured transgender individuals. The TV ad, screened in February ahead of the annual racing event, stated “...we’re going to make Ladies’ Day even more exciting by sending in some beautiful transgendered ladies. Spot the stallions from the mares”. It showed a series of brief shots of people at the Cheltenham venue while the voiceover attempted to guess their gender. In one scene a woman was shown holding a dog

while the voiceover stated “woman” then hesitated while the shot changed to show a woman walking out of a men’s toilet and stated “dog, I mean man”. The authority received 92 complaints about the advert and upheld the view that it was offensive and condoned and encouraged harmful discriminatory behaviour towards the transgender community. “The suggestion that trans people could be segregated into the gender stereotypes ‘stallions’ and ‘mares’ as part of a guessing game, trivialised a complex and difficult issue and objectified them in a way that was likely to cause them serious offence,” the authority said in its

adjudication. Paddy Power said it consulted the Beaumont Society, which it understood was the largest and longest established transgender support group in the UK, to ensure the ad met broadcasting and decency standards. The bookmaker said it was never the intention to cause harm or offence and it was “saddened” to learn that some viewers were offended by the ad. It added the concept behind the ad was to create interest around Ladies’ Day in a humorous and light-hearted way and “the ad did not cause, and could not reasonably be construed as causing, serious offence”.

Police Say Sorry Over Body Parts

Police have apologised for failing relatives after they stored human body parts from people who died under suspicious circumstances. Sixty-four crime victims had tissue retained and around a third were Troubles-related deaths in Northern Ireland. Most were murdered, police said. Investigators kept human tissue and body parts as evidence from 1960 to 2005, with some held for substantial periods and without any need to secure the consent of families. Police Service of Northern Ireland assistant chief constable George Hamilton said: “The systemic failure that allowed this to happen pre-2006 now cannot happen.

That is not to say that an individual somewhere may not make a mistake. The system and processes that did not exist are now in place as part of the audit.” He added that police had not broken the law but conceded: “There is a huge difference between being legal and doing the right thing in ethical and moral terms. Some of these families have been in a bad way because of lack of information. On behalf of the police service and the chief constable, we apologise for the upset that may have been caused.” Most samples were kept in the state pathologist’s laboratory, but 11 were retained by police. Police said they planned to speak to families of the victims

before the launch of the audit. In 2010, the Human Tissue Authority (HTA) issued a direction asking all mortuaries holding post-mortem tissue samples to undertake an audit and report back to the Authority and all chief constables in England, Wales and Northern Ireland were asked to conduct a review. Mr Hamilton said the body parts would be handed back or dealt with as the families wish if no longer needed for investigations. He said the retention of body parts happened over a lengthy period: “This was a different time, a different place. None of that is an excuse for the upset and the anguish that has been caused to families.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 irish news

Future Of Ryan Tubridy’s Pixie Lott Confirmed For Radio Show In The Balance D e r r y Pe a c e C o n c e r t

RTÉ star Ryan Tubridy has hinted for the first time that the future of his morning radio show may be in doubt. The 37-year-old broadcaster has revealed he is currently in negotiations with RTÉ about a new contract, but he admitted he has “not been much help” to the national broadcaster as it attempted to fill the gap left by the death of Gerry Ryan. The most recent listenership figures brought more disappointment, with Mr Tubridy’s 2fm show attracting a daily audience of 172,000 listeners. Mr Ryan’s show, which was an hour longer, saw 300,000 tune in every day. In contrast, Mr Tubridy has attracted huge audiences when filling in on various BBC Radio programmes. Mr Tubridy said he was “disappointed” by the latest drop in his 2fm listeners and admitted he

Singer-songwriter Pixie Lott has been confirmed for the Peace One Day concert in Ebrington Square in Londonderry.

could leave if the numbers continued to drop. “I think everything is on the table. I know I am being very political here, but I have to be because a lot of people are working very hard to make this work,” he told the Irish Independent. “I was disappointed by the radio figures. I’d hoped they would get bigger and they didn’t. The programme is very good, the material is strong, the callers are connecting, but as for listenership, well,

clearly that is another issue. “As for the future of the show? I can only show up for my work and do my job, then others have to decide whether I am good enough at it, or whether it (2fm) is an appropriate place to be. Mr Tubridy was paid 519,667 Euros by RTÉ in 2009, the last year for which figures are available, and RTÉ has said it is seeking a 30pc reduction on salary levels when its biggest names renegotiate contracts.

The concert on 21st June marks the start of the London 2012 Festival and will be the first major event to be staged at the newlyopened parade ground. Dublin singer Imelda May, indie-rockers Guillamots, Derry’s Wondervillains and Newton Faulkner will be performing. The event also marks the three-month countdown to Global Truce, a campaign which promotes peace. Founder of Peace One Day Jeremy Gilley described the festival as a historic event. “We’re very honoured, what a wonderful city to open the cultural Olympics,” he said. “It’s going to be amazing. There will be a big fireworks display as Pixie

does her final song - and Jude Law will be hosting. “For us it’s not about ticket sales, it’s about the show and the city itself. Whoever is there will have a great time.”

The culmination of the Global Truce campaign will be another Peace Once Day concert in London on 21 September, the day of Global Truce and World Peace Day.

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Barcelona Hospital Paid Repsol Starts Legal Action Against YPF Expropriation Former Director for 7 Years

A Barcelona hospital paid a former executive his full salary for seven years after he had left the post, it has been discovered. Ricard Gutiérrez Martí was named as right-hand man to the director of the Santa Creu i Sant Pau public hospital, Joaquim Esperalba, in 2001 but left in 2004 when his mentor departed. It was not until April, 2011 when labour union elections were called that workers’ representatives at the hospital were allowed access to the payroll, where it was discovered that Martí was still listed as an “associate director.” He had held the phantom post for 121 months on a salary of between “80,000 and 110,000 euros,” said hospital sources. The administrative error has caused profound anger at the hospital, which was placed in administration in March by the regional government with debts of more than 18 million euros. Under cost-cutting measures imposed by the administration of Artur Mas, Santa Creu i Sant Pau has seen its resources slashed by 10 per cent. The details of Martí’s hoodwink have been

included in a 38-page complaint presented to police by a doctor at the hospital; accusing senior staff of corporate crimes including embezzlement and fraud. Martí is a heavyweight in the Spanish healthcare sector and vice-president of the Medical School Organisation and director of a health management professorship at the Doctor Robert Foundation, which is attached to the University of Barcelona. Neither Martí nor the board at Santa Creus i Sant Pau have answered repeated requests to give their version of events. No evidence that Martí did any kind of work at the hospital between 2004 and 2011 has been proved.

Leading Spanish oil firm Repsol said on Tuesday (15th) it had initiated its legal battle to secure compensation from the government of President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner for the seizure of its Argentinean unit, YPF. It said it had notified the Fernández administration of the existence of a dispute under the Investment Promotion and Protection Treaty between Spain and the Latin American country, which is expected to result in arbitration by the

World Bank’s International Centre for Settlement of Investment Disputes. Prior to the case going to arbitration, Repsol and the Argentinean government have six months to try to reach a negotiated settlement. Repsol claims that Argentina has violated a number of regulations stipulated in the bilateral treaty signed with Spain. “With this notification, Repsol has formally announced the immediate start of legal actions under international law for [the seizure of YPF] to

be declared illegal and for Argentina to be ordered to return [it] and/or make full reparation for damages and harm that may have been caused,” Repsol said in a statement. The government last month seized a 51-percent stake in YPF held by Repsol. The Spanish firm retains a further 6.4 per cent of the company. Repsol is looking for compensation of about eight billion euros for the loss of the stake, but Argentina has disputed this figure.

Ex-Mayor of Casares Imprisoned

Penal Code Changes To Combat Corruption

The government has announced that it will crack down on tax evaders and Social Security cheats with stiffer penalties, including lowering the amounts of money involved before an offense is considered a crime. A judge has ordered provisional prison for the ex-Mayor of Casares (Andalucía), Juan Sánchez. The IU member is also the Councillor for Institutional Affairs and Housing, and faces charges of bribery, administrative perversion and others. The current Mayor, Antonia Morera, held a press conference on Monday afternoon (14th) and said the Judicial Police and Guardia Civil wanted to see the documentation related to a project by Majestic, a constructor of several promotions which had previously been requested in 2010. The investigation indicates that the Russian

The Cabinet will send a bill to Congress making changes to the Penal Code that will also create a new type of crime involving tax fraud on amounts over 600,000 euros, which is mostly aimed at organised crime groups or those who stash away their money in offshore accounts to avoid paying the Spanish treasury. Maximum prison sentences on such cases will be hiked from the current two years to six years. The government also wants to raise the statute of limitations for tax fraud cases from the current five years to 10 years in order to help combat public corruption. In recent high-profile cases, such as the Gürtel kickbacks-for-contracts scheme,

prosecutors were unable to file a host of charges against some Popular Party (PP) officials because the statute of limitations had run out. A similar situation surfaced in the fraud investigation into former Castellón provincial administrator Carlos Fabra and his wife María Amparo Fernández, who are accused of embezzling some 1.2 million euros. “The objective of this reform isn’t aimed at raking in more money for treasury,” a government source said. Some weeks back, Deputy Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría said that prosecutors are trying to track down some six billion euros from tax fraud cases.

mafia is behind the Majestic developments and to date 165 bank accounts, 236 properties and 19 vehicles have been seized. ABC newspaper claims the single administrator of Majestic Construction and Development SL, is an employee of an international mafia boss, Ricardo Fanchini, who is currently in prison for drug trafficking. Also charged in the case, the ex-Mayor’s wife, who was also facing charges and has been released. The Casares Town Hall remains closed to the public as a search to examine the documents by the Guardia Civil continues.

15 - M M ove m e n t Makes Muted Return

The 15-M movement returned to Spain’s streets last week, a year after the protest initiative led to mass rallies in cities across the world. On this occasion, however, the number of participants was considerably lower and the authorities’ reaction swift and unambiguous. Some 2,500 people ended a day of meetings and discussions on Sunday with a “silent scream” and promised to return on Monday to protest against the arrests of 18 demonstrators overnight on Saturday when the police moved in to dislodge the masses.

The main focal points of the open debates were government cuts in healthcare and education, nuclear disarmament, the right of women to choose to abort and the rise in value-added tax.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 national news

Fishermen’s Gibraltar Talks Break Down Armed Gunman

Fishermen and owners of the 70 boats from La Línea and Algeciras who fish close to Gibraltar waters have asked the government to act “without further ado” after talks they were having with the authorities on the Rock broke down on Tuesday (15th). This, the fourth meeting between representatives of the fishing sector in Gibraltar Field (Campo de Gibraltar) with the Gibraltar government to tackle the conflict, lasted under two hours and ended with dialogue breaking down, the Spanish fishermen with nothing but uncertainty and the ball in the politicians’ court. “We have made every effort to regain normality; we can’t do any more”, said Pedro Maza, the president of the Angalusian Federationi of Fishermen (Faape), after the meeting, adding that all they could now do was await “instructions” from the Spanish government, which has been kept informed about developments “at all times” and which has expressed its support.

Threatens Passengers on Madrid Metro

Maza feels that the new government in Gibraltar, headed up by Fabian Picardo, has left them “very little margin for manoeuvre” and has shown “an intransigent attitude from the start”. In March, Picardo’s government took the unilateral decision to end

the agreement made in 1999 with Spanish fishermen in neighbouring ports, allowing them to fish up to approximately half a mile of the Rock as long as they employ traditional forms of fishing allowed by the European Community.

Briton Wanted for Armed Robbery i n t h e U K i s A r r e ste d i n I b i za

A British thief who was on the run from justice in the U.K. has been arrested in Ibiza. Police sources say the 36 year old, named with the initials R.W., has a European Arrest Warrant against him for an armed violent robbery with intimidation which took place last summer when he was on a prison pass. He was serving time for two earlier similar crimes and the illegal possession of firearms. He entered a supermarket in Kent on 28th August and threatened the employees with a shotgun. After locking them in an office he destroyed the closed

circuit TV system and made off with 1,000 pounds. He was intercepted during his escape by a police patrol and is alleged to have pointed his gun at the police pulling the trigger, but for some reason it did not fire. The UDYCO specialist crime unit from the Ibiza Police became aware of the presence of the man on the island and set up a search team which ended on the 12th with his arrest. He is now at the disposition of the Instruction Court Five of the National Court which will arrange extradition back to Britain.

Treasure Hunters Have Supreme Court Appeal Dismissed

The US Supreme Court has refused to grant a final appeal to a Florida company that discovered treasure on a sunken Spanish vessel, but was then ordered to return the gold and silver to Spain. The Court did not give a reason for refusing the request from salvage specialist Odyssey Marine Exploration, which recovered 17 tons of silver and gold from the wreck of the “Nuestra Senora de las Mercedes” five years ago. The decision effectively confirmed a 1st February ruling by a

federal court in Atlanta that the ship, which was sunk in 1804 near the Strait of Gibraltar during a battle with the British fleet, remained the property of Spain. The ship was found in May 2007 at a depth of 1,700 feet in the

Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Portugal. It was returning from Peru. The Court also refused an appeal from Peru, which had sought to prevent the treasure being returned to Spain. The hundreds of gold objects and more than

500,000 silver coins discovered by Odyssey Marine Exploration, said to be worth $500 million, was reputed to be the most valuable find in history, and the loot has already been returned to Spain. The company hid the discovery under the code name of “Black Swan Project” while it removed the treasure to an undisclosed location. In its ruling, the 11th US Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta said that releasing the treasure to the Florida Company would be inconsistent with a 1902 treaty between the United States and Spain.

An off-duty police officer arrested an irate man who was threatening to shoot passengers on the Madrid metro during the rush hour last week. Whilst travelling on Line 7 at around 14.30hrs, the National Police officer who was on his way home after his shift - heard a man yelling inside a packed carriage and terrifying the passengers into giving him money. He was heard to say, “I’m fed up with weeping and wailing and I can’t understand why nobody helps people who live on the street, so I’m going to be forced to get my gun and knife out and I’m not afraid of causing harm.” When someone reproached

him for his behaviour and he looked set to carry through his threats, the officer identified himself and forced the aggressor to get off at the citycentre station of Gregorio Marañón. The officer called his colleagues on 091 and, when the accused went to get something out of his rucksack, the policeman snatched it from him. He found a 22-calibre pistol inside, loaded with five bullets and ready to fire. The suspect, who was arrested as soon as backup arrived, is said to have previous offences to his name relating to violence, including aggravated robbery and two charges of sexual assault.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 tv guide

tELEVISION & ENTERTAINMENT guide

UEFA Champions League Live

ITV1 Saturday 19th May 7:00 pm

ITV1’s live coverage of Chelsea’s bid to win European football’s ultimate prize in the UEFA Champions League Final against Bayern Munich. The Blues kick off against Bayern Munich in the German side’s home ground, the Allianz Arena, at 7.45pm hoping to bring the Champions League trophy back to Stamford Bridge for the first time. The programme, broadcast live from the stadium in Munich, will be packed with interviews with key players from both sides and former Chelsea heroes, airing their views on the chances of Roberto di Matteo’s team winning. Presenter Adrian Chiles is joined by Chelsea legend Gianfranco Zola, Roy Keane and Gareth Southgate. Former Blues captain Andy Townsend joins Clive Tyldesley in the commentary box, with Gabriel Clarke and Ned Boulting

providing roving reports. Chelsea and Bayern have only met once in the Champions League before, with the Blues winning 6-5 over two legs in the quarter final in 2005. Chelsea will be looking to go one better than the final in 2008, which they lost to Manchester United on penalties. Bayern have won the European Cup four times, most recently in 2001, and were runners-up in 2010 to Inter Milan.

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tv guide

f r i d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am �� Heir Hunters 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11:30am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm �� Blue Peter 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 8:00pm ��EastEnders Ian’s life begins to slowly crumble around him, forcing him to make a shocking decision about his future. Shirley takes the first steps to deal with the loss of Heather by packing up her belongings, but Dot continues to struggle with her grief. 8:30pm ��Would I Lie to You? 9:00pm ��Have I Got News for You 9:30pm �� Not Going Out After Lucy suffers a mild indiscretion whilst drunk and claims to have no memory of the event, she and Lee embark on an experiment with a bottle of home-made potato hooch to prove once and for all that you can remember what happens when you are mashed. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show 11:20pm ��The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11:35pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards 12:10am �� EastEnders Omnibus 2:05am ��Weatherview 2:10am ��Silk

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:45am ��Dipdap 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 9:00am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:25am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 9:35am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:45am �� The Koala Brothers 9:55am ��Iconicles 10:20am ��Woolly and Tig 10:25am ��64 Zoo Lane 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� Hands on Nature 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Wanted Down Under 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm �� Antiques Road Trip 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Coast 8:30pm ��Gardeners’ World 9:00pm �� Maestro at the Opera 10:00pm �� Episodes 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:00pm �� The Review Show 11:50pm �� Later... with Jools Holland 12:55am ��Taken 2:20am ��BBC News

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm �� Rosemary and Thyme 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Declan visits Robbie behind Megan’s back. Lisa reluctantly agrees that Belle can visit Zak in hospital. Laurel puts pressure on Ashley to take responsibility for their money troubles. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Eva is determined to uncover Nick’s lies. David’s sorrow turns to joy when unexpected visitors arrive. An intimidated Tommy is forced to use the garage for Rick’s criminal activity. 8:00pm �� Poms in Paradise Jimmy and Aine are leaving their beloved Manchester and emigrating to Sydney, but will Australia offer what they are looking for? 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Eva’s suspicions about Nick and Kylie are confirmed. Will Tommy be caught stashing Rick’s drugs? Dev confides in Stella as Karl keeps Sunita sweet. 9:00pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Lulu joins Piers Morgan to talk about her life and 50-year career. The singer, who first burst onto the music scene when she was just 14 years old, reveals how Davy Jones of the Monkees broke her heart and talks about her high-profile marriage to Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Raw Deal 12:30am �� The Store 2:35am �� Unleashed

6:05am �� The Treacle People 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am ��The Secret Millionaire 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Restoration Man 12:00pm ��Channel 4 News Summary 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 1:05pm ��Channel 4 Racing 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Brendan tries to make amends with Cheryl and makes it clear that Walker is no longer welcome in Hollyoaks, but Cheryl isn’t won over. Can Brendan convince Cheryl of his innocence? 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:30pm �� Unreported World Ukraine: The Teenagers Who Live Underground. Reporter Marcel Theroux and director Suemay Oram travel to Ukraine, which has invested billions in infrastructure projects for this summer’s European football championships. 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm ��Come Dine with Me In Great Yarmouth, hairdresser Sarah Aldous is the first of the group to hear trainee barrister JP’s extremely critical opinion. 9:00pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats 9:30pm ��Very Important People 10:00pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11:10pm ��Stand Up for the Week 11:55pm ��Team America: World Police 1:40am ��Random Acts 1:45am �� My Name is Earl 2:05am �� My Name is Earl 2:25am ��Dirty Sexy Money

Ukraine: The Teenagers Who Live Underground Channel 4 - 7:30 - 7:55 pm Reporter Marcel Theroux and director Suemay Oram travel to Ukraine, which has invested billions in infrastructure projects for this summer’s European football championships. While the fans will enjoy the facilities, most of them won’t know that living around them - and beneath their feet under the country’s cities - are thousands of young people left on their own to survive dangerous, subterranean lives. Since the break-up of the Soviet Union, years of economic hardship have hurt Ukraine.

The result has been a lost generation of teenagers who have run away from broken families, alcoholism and abuse. There are few accurate figures for the number of street children in Ukraine, as they live largely hidden lives. However, UNICEF has estimated that there could be as many as one hundred thousand. The teenagers suffer awful living conditions and embarrass the Ukrainian government, which in June will host the European Championships as part of its efforts to project a modern, European image with luxury shops and a thriving culture.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

18 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm �� Mexican Food Made Simple 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3:15pm �� Jane Doe: Vanishing Act 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm �� Dirty Great Machines 9:00pm �� The Mentalist 10:00pm ��Castle 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:55pm �� Inside Hollywood

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:50am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 1:00pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm ��American Idol 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 11:30pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 12:30am ��Ladette to Lady 2:20am �� Coronation Street

7:00pm ��Doctor Who The Doctor takes Amy to the distant future, where she finds all of Britain in a giant spaceship. 7:45pm ��Doctor Who The Doctor is summoned to Blitz-torn London by Winston Churchill, and the Daleks are waiting for him! 8:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 9:00pm �� Lip Service 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Family Guy 10:55pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:50pm �� Family Guy 12:30am ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1:15am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 1:45am ��Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 2:15am �� Angry Boys 2:45am �� Lip Service

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� River Cottage Spring 11:05am ��Cocoon: The Return 1:25pm �� Time Team �� 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm �� River Cottage Spring Collection 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:25am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:25am ��Terry and June 9:00am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:10am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:15am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 12:55pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:00pm ��On the Buses 4:35pm ��On the Buses 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Quantum Leap 6:55am ��The Saint 7:55am �� Minder 9:00am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 9:55am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am �� Minder 1:00pm �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 2:00pm ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 3:00pm �� Cricket

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��The Darling Buds of May 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm ��Murder in Suburbia 11:05pm �� The American President 1:20am �� Gregory’s Girl

6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs In 2003, aspiring writer Mark Sampson, his wife Debbie and their daughter Tilly moved to the Lot region of France to build their dream home. 9:00pm ��Freedom Writers 11:20pm �� MotherTruckers 12:25am �� Come Dine with Me 1:30am ��Grand Designs 2:35am �� Undercover Boss USA

7:30pm �� Euro 2012 8:00pm �� Cycling: Tour Series 9:00pm �� Coogan’s Bluff 11:00pm �� A Dangerous Man 12:55am ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 1:55am �� Minder 2:55am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

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6:00pm �� Highlander A band of immortal warriors pit themselves against each other through the centuries, ultimately clashing in New York in a dramatic final showdown from which there can be only one survivor. 8:00pm �� Eastern Promises Viggo Mortensen and director David Cronenberg reunite for this superb gangster thriller set among the Russian immigrant population of London. 10:00pm �� The Happening A series of unexplained suicides is the first sign of an impending crisis sweeping America, as a mysterious airborne toxin drives those exposed insane until they take their own lives.

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7:00am �� In Bruges Two hit men are ordered to lie low in Belgium after an assignment goes wrong. Trying to pass as tourists in the medieval city of Bruges, the bickering assassins are drawn into an increasingly surreal series of misadventures involving a dwarf actor and a secretive drug dealer. 9:00am ��Broken Arrow Pilot Christian Slater is double-crossed by his veteran partner John Travolta, who plans to extort money from the US government by stealing a top-secret bomber’s nuclear warheads and threatening to detonate one of them in a major American city. 11:00am..............................................Little Murders A pushy woman marries a listless man in a grim New York that gets grimmer. From the Jules Feiffer play. 1:00pm ��License to Drive A teenager promises the girl of his dreams he will take her out in his grandfather’s treasured vintage car, even though he has just failed his driving test - leading to a whole host of mishaps and scrapes. 2:35pm.........................................Moving Violations A misfit motorist leads fellow violators against a traffic-school policeman out to flunk them. 4:15pm ��Fantastic Voyage A respected scientist suffers severe brain damage during a shooting, forcing a medical team to be miniaturised to microscopic size and injected inside his body to effect a miracle cure - little realising one of the minuscule passengers has sabotage on his mind.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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s at u r d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:00am ��Saturday Kitchen 10:30am ��The Diamond Jubilee: Armed Forces Tribute 12:40pm �� BBC News 12:45pm ��BBC London News 12:50pm ��British Olympic Dreams 1:20pm ��Triathlon 2:50pm ��Gymnastics 4:20pm �� The Queen and I 4:50pm �� Pointless Celebrities 5:40pm �� BBC News 5:50pm ��BBC London News 6:00pm �� My Family 6:30pm ��The Voice UK Live Show. The Voice live shows continue as artists from Team Danny and Team Jessie deliver solo performances that they hope will secure them a place in the muchanticipated semi-final. 8:00pm ��The National Lottery: In It to Win It 8:50pm ��Casualty Tom is once again drawn into the world of Alicia and Jonas, Dixie befriends a teenage misfit and Linda’s attempts to build a happy family are dealt a serious blow. 9:40pm �� Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow Michael takes his comedy roadshow to The Grand Theatre in Blackpool, where he introduces Justin Moorhouse, Terry Alderton and Miles Jupp. Topping the bill is Liverpudlian comic John Bishop. 10:10pm ��BBC News 10:30pm ��Kevin Bridges The Story So Far Filmed in May 2010 at Glasgow’s SECC Arena, this special sees comedian Kevin Bridges perform in front of a sold-out crowd of 10,000 fans, with his unique brand of social commentary, astute observations and sharp one-liners. 11:30pm ��The Football League Show 12:15am ��Kevin and Perry Go Large 1:30am ��Weatherview 1:35am ��BBC News

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Barney’s Barrier Reef 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Alesha’s Street Dance Stars 8:35am ��Prank Patrol Down Under 9:00am ��The Slammer 9:30am ��The Ministry of Curious Stuff 10:00am ��Animals at Work 10:35am ��Splatalot 10:55am ��Copycats 11:25am �� Ooglies 11:40am �� Eliot Kid 11:55am �� MOTD Kickabout 12:15pm �� Great British Menu 12:45pm ��Macbeth 2:30pm ��Twelfth Night 4:40pm �� Flog It! 5:40pm �� Don’t Panic! The Dad’s Army Story Victoria Wood presents the true story behind Britain’s timeless comedy. Includes footage of the cast on location and incredible personal tales about the making of the series. Was Arthur Lowe really just like Captain Mainwaring? 6:30pm ��Dad’s Army The platoon forego a parade in Mainwaring’s absence to compete in a darts match against the ARP wardens. 7:00pm �� You Have Been Watching... David Croft From Dad’s Army to ‘Allo ‘Allo!, Are You Being Served? to It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum - David Croft had a hand in them all. This programme pays tribute to his comedy genius through the friends, family and colleagues who knew him. 8:00pm ��Cutty Sark: National Treasure 9:00pm �� Off by Heart: Shakespeare 10:20pm ��QI XL 11:05pm �� Hamlet 2 12:30am ��A Cock and Bull Story

6:00am ��Signed Stories 6:10am �� Engie Benjy 6:20am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:30am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:35am �� Fluffy Gardens 6:40am ��The Hive 6:50am ��The Hive 7:00am �� Poppy Cat 7:10am ��Sooty 7:25am �� X-Men 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am ��Sonny with a Chance 8:25am �� Saturday Cookbook 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:20am ��The Real Housewives of New York City 12:20pm ��Murder, She Wrote 1:20pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 1:45pm ��ITV News and Weather 1:50pm �� Agatha Christie’s Murder with Mirrors 3:40pm �� From Russia with Love 5:45pm ��London Tonight 6:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 6:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid This week, celebrity helper Louis Walsh pops in, The Saturdays put Keith and one lucky audience member through their paces in a unique performance. 7:00pm ��UEFA Champions League Final Adrian Chiles presents live coverage of the Champions League Final between Chelsea and Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena in Munich. 10:25pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:40pm ��UEFA Champions League Final 11:40pm ��Bonnie and Clyde

Celebrated drama about the rise and fall of two violent young outlaws and their gang, based on the lives of two of the most notorious American outlaws of the 1930s - Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. 1:35am �� The Store

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am ��British F3 7:05am �� FIM Superbike World Championship 2012 7:30am �� Mobil 1 The Grid 7:55am ��The Morning Line 8:55am ��The TV Book Club 9:25am ��Shooting Cheryl 10:00am ��Made in Chelsea 11:05am ��The Big Bang Theory 11:35am ��The Big Bang Theory 12:10pm �� The Simpsons 12:45pm �� The Simpsons 1:20pm ��The Paralympic Show 1:55pm ��Channel 4 Racing 3:55pm �� Deal or No Deal 4:55pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:50pm �� Channel 4 News 6:00pm ��4thought.tv 6:05pm ��Titanic James Cameron’s Oscar-laden epic tells of the first and final voyage of the ‘unsinkable’ luxury liner through the love story of two very different passengers. 9:45pm �� Rush Hour 3 Brett Ratner’s martial-arts action-comedy sequel starring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. When the Chinese Ambassador to the US is shot while divulging the whereabouts of a major Triad leader, the American authorities once again send Chief Inspector Lee and Detective James Carter into the fray. 11:30pm �� Rude Tube Alex Zane showcases the top tomfoolery the web has to offer. 12:35am ��Stand Up for the Week Host Jon Richardson is joined by SUFTW regulars Seann Walsh, Josh Widdicombe, Sara Pascoe, Paul Chowdhry and Andrew Lawrence. 1:20am �� Bad News Bears Richard Linklater’s re-make of the 1976 sports comedy stars Billy Bob Thornton as Morris Buttermaker, a bibulous, cheating exbaseball player hired to coach the Bad News Bears, a little league team of no-hopers and misfits.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

19 6:00am ��Children´s TV 10:00am ��Inside Hollywood 10:10am ��The Gadget Show: World Tour 11:10am......................................Emergency Bikers 12:10pm ��Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 1:10pm ��Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment 2:55pm ��The Witches 4:45pm ��Doctor Dolittle 2 6:30pm ��Ultimate Police Interceptors 6:55pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 7:55pm ��NCIS 8:50pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9:40pm �� CSI: NY 10:40pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:35pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:35am ��Super Casino

7:00pm ��Doctor Who The Doctor is recruited by Father Octavian to track the last of the Weeping Angels through the terrifying Maze of the Dead. 7:45pm ��Doctor Who Confidential 8:00pm ��Adele Live at the Royal Albert Hall 9:00pm ��Live at the Apollo 9:45pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10:30pm �� Family Guy 11:10pm �� Family Guy 11:40pm �� Family Guy 12:10am �� Family Guy 12:40am �� American Dad! 1:00am �� American Dad! 1:25am �� American Dad! 1:45am �� American Dad! 2:10am �� American Dad! 2:30am �� American Dad! 2:50am ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra

6:00am �� The Hot Desk 6:10am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 8:15am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 11:40am ��Peter Andre: My Life 12:40pm ��The Exclusives 1:45pm ��American Idol 3:45pm ��American Idol 4:45pm ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 5:15pm ��Britain’s Got More Talent

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:30am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 7:00am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 7:35am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 8:40am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 9:45am �� Carry on Don’t Lose Your Head 11:35am ��Emma 1:45pm �� Housewife 49 3:45pm ��Sherlock Holmes 5:55pm ��Agatha Christie’s Marple

6:15pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 7:15pm ��Ice Age: The Meltdown Animated sequel. The animals of Manny, Sid and Diego’s peaceful valley are enjoying the warmer weather as the ice age comes to an end, but only the heroic trio know that with the thaw comes a flood that threatens everyone. 9:00pm ��Forgetting Sarah Marshall 11:15pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 12:00am �� Innerspace 2:15am ��The Only Way is Essex

8:00pm ��Doc Martin Martin treats an uncomfortable Louisa for suspected anaemia. A reluctant Aunt Joan is forced to receive treatment from Martin after she nearly runs someone over. 9:00pm �� Lewis 11:00pm �� Sherlock Holmes 1:15am �� Goodnight Sweetheart 1:50am �� Goodnight Sweetheart 2:20am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

Triathlon World Series BBC 1 - 1:20 - 2:50 pm Sonali Shah introduces the best of the action and reaction from the second leg of the World Series in San Diego, featuring Britain’s world champion Helen Jenkins and fellow Olympic medal prospect Jonny Brownlee. As the birthplace of triathlon San Diego provided a homecoming for the annual eight-stage series, which decides the overall world champion.

Jenkins won the women’s title for a second time last year and began the defence of her crown with second place behind Australia’s Erin Densham in Sydney last month. Jonny Brownlee skipped that event but had the opportunity in San Diego to emerge from the shadow of his brother and world champion Alistair, who is recovering from an Achilles injury.

8:55am �� River Cottage Bites 9:30am ��Jamie’s Great Britain 11:35am ��Jamie at Home 12:40pm ��Jamie Does... 1:45pm ��Jamie Does... 2:50pm ��Jamie Does... 3:55pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:30pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 5:05pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 5:35pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

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6:00am ��The Saint 7:00am �� Police Stop! 8:00am �� The Big Match Revisited 9:00am �� Cycling: Tour Series 10:00am ��Motorsport UK 11:00am �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Live. Presented by Angus Scott and Shonali Nagrani with Ian Harvey and Dominic Cork.

6:37am ��FXM Presents 7:00am ��Eastern Promises Viggo Mortensen and director David Cronenberg reunite for this superb gangster thriller set among the Russian immigrant population of London. 8:49am.................................................FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 9:00am ��Highlander A band of immortal warriors pit themselves against each other through the centuries, ultimately clashing in New York in a dramatic final showdown from which there can be only one survivor. 11:00am �� Damnation Alley Unintentionally funny sci-fi drama set in the aftermath of World War Three, totally failing to do justice to Roger Zelazny’s acclaimed novel. 12:45pm.......................................Fantastic Voyage A respected scientist suffers severe brain damage during a shooting, forcing a medical team to be miniaturised to microscopic size and injected inside his body to effect a miracle cure. 2:30pm........................................................ The Abyss When a nuclear submarine is attacked and becomes stricken in the ocean depths, the US Government calls on civilian divers from a nearby oil rig to come to their aid. 5:30pm �� True Lies Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a seemingly boring computer salesman who leads an amazing double life as a suave superspy embroiled in international terrorism.

8:00pm �� The Sweeney Regan and Carter are on the case when a pair of robbers are themselves robbed at gunpoint. 9:00pm ��The Game Nicholas Van Orton, a selfish, self-obsessed investment banker, is presented him with an unusual present from his younger brother- a gift certificate from a specialised company claiming to devise devilish games for its wealthy clients. 11:35pm ��Eden Lake 1:25am �� Real Prison Breaks 2:25am ��Sports Mash: Taking the Mic

8:00pm �� Die Hard 4.0 Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane for this enjoyable fourth instalment in the action thriller series which features some amazing set pieces. 10:37pm.................................. FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 11:00pm �� Mr & Mrs Smith A couple struggle to keep their marriage interesting until they learn they have something in common - they are both deadly assassins.

6:10pm �� Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 6:40pm ��Jamie’s American Food Revolution 7:40pm ��Jamie’s American Food Revolution 8:40pm �� Jamie Does Marrakech 9:45pm �� Jamie’s Kitchen 11:00pm �� Jamie Does... 12:05am �� Jamie Does... 1:05am ��Jamie’s Great Britain 2:15am ��Jamie’s Great Britain

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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s u n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:00am ��The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am ��The Big Questions 11:00am ��Country Tracks 12:00pm ��Sunday Politics 1:00pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:30pm ��Penguin Island 2:00pm ��Tiger Spy in the Jungle 3:00pm ��The Queen’s Palaces 4:00pm �� Lifeline 4:10pm ��Points of View 4:25pm ��Songs of Praise 5:00pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh, Carol Klein and James Wong take an exclusive peek at the Royal Horticultural Society’s Chelsea Flower Show 2012 in this preview of the event. 6:00pm ��BBC News 6:15pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� Countryfile Countryfile is in Dumfries and Galloway, the perfect place to launch this year’s photographic competition, with its theme ‘Walk On The Wild Side’. 7:25pm ��The Voice UK It’s the eliminations as coaches Danny O’Donoghue and Jessie J must say goodbye to not one but two artists from each team. 8:00pm ��Planet Earth Live 9:00pm �� Death in Paradise When a woman not only predicts her own murder but also gives a description of the murderer, it all feels too easy for DI Richard Poole. Can a case from the past help solve the present day murder? 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:15pm ��BBC London News 10:25pm ��Have I Got a Bit More News for You 11:10pm ��Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy 12:40am ��Weatherview 12:45am �� Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission 1:45am ��Holby City 2:45am �� Witness to Auschwitz

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Barney’s Barrier Reef 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Scoop 8:30am ��Wingin’ It 8:50am ��Shaun the Sheep 9:00am ��Friday Download 10:00am ��Athletics 12:30pm ��MotoGP 2:00pm �� Boxing 3:30pm ��Athletics 5:00pm �� Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5:45pm �� Flog It! 6:10pm �� Deep Impact 8:00pm �� Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve This stage of Simon Reeve’s journey around the spectacular Indian Ocean takes him from Oman to the Maldives. He starts in the remote and otherworldly Musandam peninsula on the Strait of Hormuz, one of the most strategically important waterways in the world. 9:00pm �� Coast Coast ventures to the furthest flung reaches of the British Isles to discover the most extreme locations and lifestyles. 10:00pm �� Man on Wire Documentary based on Philippe Petit’s autobiographical book To Reach the Clouds: My High Wire Walk Between the Twin Towers. 11:30pm �� Episodes Matt misses his ‘bromance’ with Sean and tries to rekindle their friendship by buying him the sports car of his dreams. 12:00am ��Grandma’s House Tanya is thrilled when Simon finally makes his TV comeback, even though it is just a short interview to promote his play. 12:30am �� Sugar 2:15am ��BBC News

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6:00am ��Boblins 6:10am ��Fireman Sam 6:20am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:30am ��Jake and the Neverland Pirates 6:45am ��Jake and the Neverland Pirates 7:00am �� Poppy Cat 7:10am ��Tati’s Hotel 7:25am ��Matt Hatter Chronicles 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am ��Victorious 8:25am ��Dinner Date 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��Ade in Britain 10:30am ��May the Best House Win 11:30am �� Long Lost Family 12:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:35pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 1:35pm ��Murder, She Wrote 2:40pm ��Columbo 4:30pm ��The Hungry Sailors 5:30pm �� You’ve Been Framed!

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am ��Freesports on 4 7:30am ��Freesports on 4 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��Sunday Brunch 12:15pm ��The Big Bang Theory 12:45pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:15pm �� The Simpsons 1:45pm �� The Simpsons 2:20pm �� Bride and Prejudice: The Bollywood Musical The determined Mrs. Bakshi sets out to find marriage matches for her four beautiful daughters while there’s a lavish wedding party in town. 4:30pm ��Bandslam Aly Michalka, Vanessa Hudgens and Gaelan Connell star in director Todd Graff’s wellreceived music comedy.

6:00pm �� Harry Hill’s TV Burp 6:25pm �� London Tonight 6:40pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Comedian Paddy McGuinness and his wife Christine Martin, husband-and-wife presenting team Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, and Olympian James Cracknell and his presenter wife Beverley Turner attempt to win that magical million for their favourite charities. 8:00pm �� Vera DCI Vera Stanhope investigates the murder of 29-year-old Niall Coulter. With those closest to Niall intent upon obscuring the truth, it is not until the body of a drug dealer is found washed up on a Northumberland beach that the dreadful truth begins to emerge about Niall’s past. 10:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:15pm �� 10,000 BC 12:05am �� The Store 2:10am ��River Monsters 3:00am ��Motorsport UK

6:30pm �� Channel 4 News 7:00pm ��4thought.tv 7:05pm �� Four Rooms This episode features Winston Churchill’s gold dentures, which were designed to preserve the lisp made famous by his rousing speeches during the Second World War. 8:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 9:00pm �� Channel 4’s Comedy Gala Channel 4’s Comedy Gala returns for a third year as some of the nation’s best-known and most-loved comedy and music stars share the stage for this iconic charity event. 11:35pm �� The Inbetweeners In a desperate attempt at reinvention, Will decides that the lads should be cool, and become “the boys who go to clubs”. 12:10am �� The Inbetweeners Will is asked to co-ordinate the school’s Duke of Edinburgh award scheme, and immediately turns the situation to his advantage, using it as an opportunity to try to snare an older university student. 12:40am �� Do Dooni Chaar 2:35am ��Hollyoaks Omnibus

Vera: A Certain Samaritan ITV 1 - 8:00 - 10:00 pm DCI Vera Stanhope investigates the murder of 29-yearold Niall Coulter. With those closest to Niall intent upon obscuring the truth, it is not until the body of a drug dealer is found washed up on a

Northumberland beach that the dreadful truth begins to emerge about Niall’s past. While coping with revelations from her own past, Vera sifts through evidence of the grief, love and addiction that

characterised Niall’s life and deduces that his murderer acted through selfless and unrequited love. Starring: Brenda Blethyn, David Leon, Paul Ritter, Jon Morrison, Cush Jumbo, Phyllis Logan.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

2 0 6:00am ��Children´s TV 8:55am �� Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:10am.......................................The Mr. Men Show 9:25am................................. Roary the Racing Car 9:40am ��The Milkshake! Show 10:00am...............................Animal Rescue Squad 10:20am.......................................... Grey’s Anatomy 11:15am..................... The Restaurant Inspector 12:15pm ��Murder at the Gallop 1:55pm �� Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home 3:45pm ��Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue 5:05pm �� Hercules 6:55pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm ��Once Upon a Time 9:00pm �� Norway Massacre: The Survivors 10:00pm ��Perfect Stranger 12:10am �� The Walking Dead 1:35am......................................Super Casino

6:00am ��Gossip Girl 6:45am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 10:00am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 12:30pm ��Winners and Losers 1:20pm ��Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 2:00pm ��Britain’s Got More Talent 3:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 4:35pm ��Free Willy 6:55pm �� Happy Feet Animated adventure. A penguin is cast out by his colony because he is unable to sing, but his tap-dancing skills and new friends enable him to make a triumphant return. 9:00pm �� Benidorm When Madge’s estranged daughter Valda arrives at The Solana, Madge is convinced that she is after Mel’s money. 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm �� The Exclusives 11:45pm �� The World is Not Enough 2:10am ��The Only Way is Essex 2:50am ��American Idol

7:00pm ��World’s Craziest Fools 7:30pm �� England’s Worst Ever Football Team A quest to reveal the worst England team of all time. Through a mix of archive footage and talking heads, including Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock and Mark Lawrenson, the show is a light-hearted yet somewhat heated debate over who should win a place on the shamed team. 9:00pm �� Family Guy 9:30pm �� Family Guy 10:00pm �� Family Guy 10:20pm �� Family Guy 10:40pm �� American Dad! 11:05pm �� American Dad! 11:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 12:00am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 12:30am �� Britain Unzipped 1:30am �� England’s Worst Ever Football Team 2:55am �� Lip Service

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Scrapheap Challenge 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:15am ��Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 11:45am ��Four in a Bed 2:25pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:00pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3:35pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:05pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:40pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:40pm �� Come Dine with Me

6:00am �� Murder, She Wrote 7:00am ��All Creatures Great and Small 8:50am ��Heartbeat 9:50am ��Heartbeat 10:50am �� Housewife 49 12:50pm �� Black Beauty 2:40pm ��The Railway Children 4:40pm ��Wycliffe 5:45pm ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6:00am �� Police Stop! 6:55am ��The Saint 7:55am �� The Sweeney 9:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 9:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 10:00am ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 11:00am �� Cricket

8:00pm �� Steptoe and Son Ride Again Second film spin-off from the classic sitcom. Things are bad at the Steptoes’ Shepherds Bush rag-and-bone business, so bad, in fact, that Harold is convinced that Albert must die so he can collect the old man’s life insurance. 10:00pm ��Taggart 11:00pm �� Cracker 12:10am �� P. D. James 2:10am �� The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Channel 4’S Comedy Gala Channel 4 - 9:00 - 11:35 pm Channel 4’s Comedy Gala returns for a third year as some of the nation’s bestknown and most-loved comedy and music stars share the stage for this iconic charity event. Headlining this year’s extravaganza - filmed at London’s 02 Arena in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital

- is Jessie J, who opens the show with an exclusive live performance. The all-star line-up also includes Lee Evans, Michael McIntyre, Jonathan Ross, Micky Flanagan, Sean Lock, Kevin Bridges, Jo Brand, Jack Whitehall, Jack Dee, Jon Richardson, Seann Walsh, Lee Nelson, Josh Widdicombe, Paul Chowdhry, Andi Osho, Keith Lemon and Alan Carr.

6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:25pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��River Cottage: Gone Fishing 9:00pm ��River Cottage: Gone Fishing 10:00pm �� Father Ted 11:10pm �� My Phone Sex Secrets 12:15am ��River Cottage: Gone Fishing 2:25am �� Father Ted

8:00pm �� The Magnificent Seven Ride! The fourth in a series of films about the famous Western heroes. This time the Magnificent Seven ride off to rescue the kidnapped wife of their leader, while also thwarting a band of Mexican bandits. 10:00pm �� A Dangerous Man Steven Seagal plays a framed Special Forces operative trying to adjust to the outside world following a prison sentence. 11:55pm �� Coogan’s Bluff 1:55am ��Police, Camera, Action! 2:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 3:00am ��Teleshopping

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8:00am �� The Abyss When a nuclear submarine is attacked and becomes stricken in the ocean depths, the US Government calls on civilian divers from a nearby oil rig to come to their aid. 11:00am ��The Beverly Hillbillies Big-screen version of the Sixties TV comedy series, about a family of country bumpkins who strike it rich and move to a plush Los Angeles suburb. 12:45pm �� Home Alone Perky pre-teen Macaulay Culkin is accidentally left behind when his family jet off to Paris for Christmas, and sets out to prevent dimwitted burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern ransacking the house. 2:30pm ��The Pagemaster Cartoon and live-action adventure about a boy who discovers a mysterious mural in his school library and wakes up the next day to find he’s entered a bizarre animated world where anything can happen. 4:00pm �� Once Upon a Forest A mouse, a mole and a hedgehog have only two days to save their badger friend from the deadly effects of exposure to toxic waste spilled in their enchanted forest homeland. 5:15pm �� FernGully: The Last Rainforest A fairy living in a forest encounters a member of a logging crew and magically shrinks him down to her size. He learns about the damage humans are doing to the area, and helps defend it when his colleagues unwittingly unleash an evil spirit that had been entombed in a tree. 6:45pm..................Bartok the Magnificent A bat and a bear working their way across Russia as street performers set out to rescue a kidnapped prince, leading to a confrontation with a powerful witch. 8:00pm.......................Horton Hears a Who! In the jungle of Nool, a kindly elephant hears a cry of help coming from a speck of dust and discovers the miniscule city of Whoville. As he tries to help the Mayor of the town and its citizens, the people around him begin to question his sanity. 10:00pm �� Alvin and the Chipmunks A 21st-century adventure for the entertaining little critters who were created in 1958. A struggling songwriter’s home is invaded by a mischievous trio of talking chipmunks: Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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m o n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Cash in the Attic 11:45am ��Bargain Hunt 12:30pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Help! My Supply Teacher is Magic 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh invites viewers to get away from it all with a look at the holiday destinations reflected in some of the Chelsea exhibits this year. 8:00pm ��EastEnders While Ian frantically tries to finalise his wedding plans, Lucy resolves to make her father see Mandy for who she really is. Roxy confides in Christian about her growing feelings for Alfie. 8:30pm ��Panorama Eurovision’s Dirty Secret. With just days to go to the final of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest, Panorama has been undercover inside its hosts Azerbaijan, to discover the extraordinary truth about this secretive country and its approach to the world’s most watched non-sporting event. 9:00pm ��Chatsworth 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:35pm �� A Question of Sport 11:05pm �� Sporting Heroes: After the Final Whistle 11:55pm �� The Graham Norton Show 12:45am ��Weatherview 12:50am �� Rowing the Arctic 1:50am �� Antiques Road Trip 2:35am �� Great British Railway Journeys

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 8:55am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� Hands on Nature 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9:00pm �� The Fall of Singapore: The Great Betrayal 10:00pm ��Sounds of the 70s 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��The Lost World of the Seventies 12:20am ��BBC News

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In this instalment, remaining participants Andrew, John, Suzy, Jackie, Lynn, Sue, Tony, Paul, Symon, Nick, Peter, Neil and Bruce are now 56 years old. How are they facing up to getting older and the changes in their lives? 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm ��Knocked Up 12:55am �� Jackpot247 3:00am ��UEFA Champions League Weekly

6:15am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 1:05pm ��River Cottage Bites 1:10pm ��One Million Years B.C. 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks It’s exam time for the sixth formers and while Sinead and George have been revising, Bart has a more relaxed attitude. Callum is thinking about studying in the USA while dealing with Martha’s increasingly demanding problems. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� Lee Pearson ‘Lone Rider’ A stunning portrait of GB’s most celebrated Paralympic dressage athlete, Lee Pearson, as he journeys through London on horseback, from Piccadilly Circus to the beautiful views of Greenwich, where he will soon compete for glory. 8:00pm �� Dispatches Beating the Recession - Cash v Cards. News that we are back in recession won’t have been a surprise to many hard-pressed families across the country. 8:30pm ��Gok Cooks Chinese 9:00pm �� The Secret Millionaire 10:00pm �� Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11:05pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:55pm ��4thought.tv 12:00am ��Random Acts 12:05am �� The Hoarder Next Door 1:05am �� Khayal Gatha 2:50am ��Faintheart

The Dales ITV 1 - 8:00 - 8:30 pm In this final episode of the series presented by Adrian Edmondson the programme returns to Ravenseat Farm in Swaledale where the Owen family are preparing for a very special day – it’s youngest son Miles’ first day at school. The Owen family also prepare for a rare night

away from the farm when they are invited to a photography exhibition in Reeth where they are the stars of the show. Meanwhile, Dales estate agent Brian Carlisle takes on another role as auctioneer at the monthly family auction in Hawes village hall. Today the Hopper & Co family auction has over a thousand lots and the

pressure is on for Brian and his family to ‘sell sell sell’! And, as summer draws to an end, Dales vicar Anne Chapman holds a harvest festival for her parishioners. She chooses to hold the service in a farmer’s field rather than a church, but as Anne forgets to put up directions to the service, will her congregation be able to find the right field?

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

2 1 6:00amChildren´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm �� Mexican Food Made Simple 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��The Mentalist 3:15pm ��Murder in Greenwich 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm �� The Gadget Show: World Tour 9:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 10:00pm �� The Walking Dead 10:55pm �� Shrooms 12:35am �� The World of Stupid Criminals

7:00pm �� The Voice UK 8:30pm �� The Voice UK 9:00pm ��Are My Fake Breasts Safe?

Former Miss Great Britain, Gemma Garrett, investigates how she -and 50,000 other British women -ended up with toxic breast implants made by the French company PIP. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? Olivia and Kate. Britain’s fakest fashion fiascos now have nowhere to hide as a new, upgraded POD and host Ellie Taylor tour Britain on their natural beauty makeunder mission. 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad! 12:05am �� American Dad! 12:30am ��Are My Fake Breasts Safe? 1:25am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 1:55am �� Britain Unzipped 2:55am ��Don’t Blame the Dog

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� The Landscape Man 11:05am �� Love Me or Leave Me 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA 6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs Kevin McCloud joins John and Eleni Flood as they attempt to turn their cluttered and cramped Victorian terraced house in Hackney into a cool, contemporary, light and roomy living space. 10:00pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11:05pm ��The Secret Millionaire 12:10am ��Grand Designs 1:20am ��Grand Designs 2:25am ��The Secret Millionaire

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy

6:00am ��Heartbeat 6:55am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 7:55am ��On the Buses 9:05am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:10am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��On the Buses 4:40pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am ��Uefa Champions League Greatest Matches 6:10am �� Quantum Leap 7:00am �� Police Stop! 7:55am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 8:40am ��The Professionals 9:40am �� Quantum Leap 10:35am ��Tommy Cooper 11:35am �� UEFA Champions League Final 3:00pm ��The Saint 4:05pm �� Police Stop! 5:05pm �� World’s Wildest Police Videos

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Gossip Girl 8:00pm �� The Cube 9:00pm �� The World is Not Enough 11:40pm �� Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12:10am �� The Vampire Diaries 1:05am �� Innerspace

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00pm �� A Touch of Frost 11:15pm �� Ruth Rendell Mysteries 12:20am ��NUMB3RS 1:15am ��Jeeves and Wooster 2:10am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

6:00pm �� The Professionals 7:00pm ��Rugby Highlights 8:00pm �� Minder 9:00pm ��The Enforcer 11:00pm �� The Beguiled 1:10am ��Rugby Highlights 2:10am ��World’s Wildest Police Videos 2:50am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

Gok Cooks Chinese BBC2 - 7:30 - 8:30 pm Gok Wan is firing up his wok to showcase his other great passion in life: Chinese cooking. Growing up with a Chinese restaurateur and chef for a father, Gok loves nothing more than home-cooked Chinese food, and over the years has perfected many dishes of his own. Now he is joined by his beloved dad John, affectionately known as

Poppa Wan, for this brand new cookery series exploring Chinese home cooking and healthy, quick meals devised by Gok himself - proving that he is master of the cleaver as well as the cleavage! In this first programme Gok guides viewers through the simple basics of Chinese cooking, from the ‘holy trinity’ of ingredients garlic, ginger and spring onion - to the ‘love box’ of

condiments. His first aim is to demonstrate how to cook the perfect egg fried rice: it’s the fastest Chinese food anyone can master, from wok to plate in five minutes. Gok heads to Leicester to see his dad and rustle up a classic dish. Gok also visits the fiery kitchens of Hakkasan in London to see how top Chinese chefs make mouthwatering dishes in a matter of minutes.

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6:30am �� The Comebacks A failed American football coach gets a second chance to prove his worth when he is recruited to take over a Texas university team. 8:44am ��FXM Presents 9:00am �� Home Alone Perky pre-teen Macaulay Culkin is accidentally left behind when his family jet off to Paris for Christmas, and sets out to prevent dimwitted burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern ransacking the house. 11:00am �� It Happened in Flatbush The new manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers woos a socialite to take stock in the club. 12:26pm �� The Hustler An arrogant pool shark challenges a renowned champion player, only to lose the match and end up broke with his confidence shattered. 2:45pm ��The Games Michael Winner’s tepid sporting drama following four athletes from around the world as they prepare for a gruelling Olympic marathon. 4:00pm ��Dreamer An unknown pro bowler becomes national champion with his coach’s help and despite his girlfriend. 6:00pm ��Tough Enough Dennis Quaid plays a struggling Country and Western singer who finances his career by entering a succession of boxing competitions. 8:00pm ��Simon Sez Former basketball star Dennis Rodman stars in this action adventure. A bumbling private eye is called in to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a wealthy American executive, but soon finds himself in over his head and forced to enlist the aid of interpol agentturned-arms dealer Rodman. 9:40pm �� FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 10:00pm �� Mr & Mrs Smith A couple struggle to keep their marriage interesting until they learn they have something in common - they are both deadly assassins.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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t u e s d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Cash in the Attic 11:45am ��Bargain Hunt 12:30pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Who Let the Dogs Out? 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Lucy remains intent on ruining her dad’s big day, whilst Phil worries that a manic Ian is drawing unwanted attention to himself. Meanwhile Mandy receives some devastating news about Lorraine. 8:00pm ��Holby City With two new faces on Darwin, Holby announces itself as a transplant centre with a landmark operation. Elsewhere, Chrissie is reeling from the events of last week and Dan is surprised when an old friend turns up on Keller. 9:00pm ��Silk Martha represents Captain Ed Ryan in a court-martial. He is accused of disobeying an order, resulting in the death of a 19-year-old private. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards 11:10pm ��Ghost Town 12:50am ��Weatherview 12:55am ��The Apprentice 1:55am ��Horizon 2:55am �� Antiques Road Trip

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 8:55am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� Hands on Nature 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9:00pm �� Great Ormond Street 10:00pm �� Later Live... with Jools Holland 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��The Great Euro Crash with Robert Peston 12:20am ��BBC News

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Belle reaches the end of her tether with Sean. Brenda is upset when her girly day out with Amy does not go to plan. Despite her best efforts, Nicola starts to warm towards Elliot. 7:30pm ��Trash to Treasure Documentary series about two reclamation yards in the north west of England. In Preston, Ribble Reclamation is thrown into turmoil by new owner Paul, who has invested a lot of money into the business and wants to see big changes. 8:00pm �� Martin Clunes: Horsepower Martin Clunes concludes his worldwide search to discover the secrets of man’s partnership with horses. In Italy he watches the colourful Palio horse race, which dates back to the 13th century. 9:00pm ��Dirty Britain Concluding part of the documentary which reveals the dirty secrets about the way modern Brits live. In London, a team of domestic maids discover how fussy some homeowners can be about dirt and grime, while pest controller Jim deals with a house that has been overrun by pigeons. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Celebrity Juice 11:20pm �� Nature’s Fury 12:15am �� Jackpot247 3:00am ��Loose Women

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 12:35pm ��River Cottage Bites 12:50pm �� How to Steal a Million 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks The McQueens have kept Bart’s name from the police and are trying to figure out where he is. Terrified Bart is forced to tell Sinead the truth. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� Nathan Stephens ‘Warrior’ 8:00pm ��Embarrassing Bodies Dr Christian Jessen and Dr Dawn Harper are joined by a team of GPs and specialists to provide live consultations to as many viewers as possible via Skype. 9:00pm ��Hidden Talent The first is someone with an exceptional talent for multi-tasking; someone whose brain can do two or more very demanding tasks simultaneously. Scientists call these ‘super-taskers’. 10:00pm �� My Big Fat Fetish 11:05pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12:05am ��4thought.tv 12:10am ��Random Acts 12:15am ��Pokerstars.Co.UK Caribbean Adventure 1:20am �� KOTV Boxing Weekly 1:45am ��Sailing 2:15am �� Mobil 1 The Grid

Trash to Treasure ITV 1 - 7:30 - 8:00 pm

Trash to Treasure follows the daily fortunes of two reclamation yards fighting for survival in the North West of England.

In Preston, Ribble Reclamation is thrown into turmoil by new owner Paul. Manager Dale has run the yard on his own for ten years but Paul has invested over half a million pounds into the business and wants

to see some big changes. The pressure’s on to make a profit, so when local hotel owner Simon comes into the yard and takes a fancy to a giant cast iron cockerel, Dale goes in for the hard sell. But can he convince Simon to part with his cash? Fifty miles south of Ribble lies the rival yard of Beeston Reclamation. Run by Trevor and his younger brother Lee, sibling rivalry can sometimes get in the way of the smooth

running of the business. But money’s tight and it’s a daily struggle to keep afloat. Trev sends Lee out to an auction to buy some stock, with the specific instruction not to buy any more chairs. So when Lee returns to the yard having spent Trev’s money on two chairs, he’s less than impressed. Lee makes it his mission to turn around a quick sale to redeem himself in his brother’s eyes.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

2 2 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am.......................................... The Wright Stuff 11:10am.......................................................Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm �� Mexican Food Made Simple 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:15pm �� Murder 101: College Can be Murder 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Dirty Great Machines 8:00pm �� War Hero in My Family 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 11:55pm �� CSI: Miami 12:50am ��Super Casino

7:00pm ��World’s Craziest Fools 7:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? In Liverpool, Ellie gets a fright as she tries out the famous ‘Scousebrow’. POD meets Olivia, who is torn between becoming a glamour model and a teacher. 8:00pm �� The Eurovision Song Contest Scott Mills and Sara Cox host the first of two Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals live from Baku in Azerbaijan. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm �� Family Guy A celebratory Family Guy feast with ‘the best freakin’ top ten episodes’ as voted by BBC THREE fans and launching into the brand new season ten on Sunday night. 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad! 12:30am �� England’s Worst Ever Football Team 2:00am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 2:30am �� Britain Unzipped

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am �� Carry on Laughing 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:35am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:35am ��Terry and June 9:10am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:20am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:05pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 8:00pm �� The Cube 9:00pm �� The Vampire Diaries 10:00pm �� Deep Blue Sea 12:10am �� Penn and Teller: Fool Us 1:10am �� Emmerdale 1:35am ��Teleshopping

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Wycliffe 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:05pm ��A is for Acid 12:10am ��NUMB3RS 1:05am �� Kavanagh Q.C. 2:30am ��Teleshopping

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am �� The Landscape Man 11:35am ��The Outrage 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA 6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs When Peterborough couple John and Terri Westlake bought a tumbledown cottage set in acres of Cambridgeshire woodland, an architect friend suggested spending the money earmarked for renovation on building a completely new house. 9:00pm �� The Restoration Man 10:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 11:10pm �� One Born Every Minute

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:50am ��The Saint 7:50am �� Minder 8:50am �� Police Stop! 9:50am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am �� Minder 12:55pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 1:25pm ��UEFA Champions League Weekly 2:00pm ��Motorsport UK 3:00pm �� Cricket 7:25pm �� Euro 2012 8:00pm �� The Sweeney 9:00pm �� Escape From New York 11:05pm �� The Exorcist 1:30am ��The Saint 2:30am ��Police, Camera, Action! 2:55am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

tv guide n d

m ay

8:00am �� The Hustler An arrogant pool shark challenges a renowned champion player, only to lose the match and end up broke with his confidence shattered. With the aid of a cut-throat manager, he sets about honing his skills for a rematch. 10:30am ��The Tyrone Power Story Tom Rothman recognizes Tyrone Power and his diverse body of work. 11:00am �� The Black Swan When the notorious pirate Henry Morgan is made governor of Jamaica, he offers all other buccaneers a choice - give up their lawless ways or face his wrath. 12:30pm �� The Virgin Queen Sir Walter Raleigh forms a close relationship with Elizabeth I, hoping to gain her political support to further his ambition to head an expedition to America. However, his plans are compromised by his love for one of the monarch’s ladies-in-waiting. 2:15pm ��Seven Cities of Gold A Spanish expedition sets sail from Mexico in 1796, determined to conquer California. Bumbling historical adventure based on the life of Father Junipero Serra. 4:00pm ��Viva Zapata! Biopic of Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata. In the early 1900s, peasant farmer Zapata is outraged by the corrupt president’s disinterest in his people’s suffering, and fights to have him overthrown in favour of an exiled reformer. 6:00pm ��Bad Girls A prostitute is sentenced to hang for killing an abusive customer, but her three friends ride to the rescue and together they flee their frontier town in search of a new life. 8:00pm ��Break Up

A woman trapped in an abusive relationship becomes the prime suspect for murder when her husband’s charred body is apparently discovered in a burnt-out car - prompting her to embark on a desperate attempt to prove the violent bully is not really dead. 9:49pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Rounders A young poker player gives up gambling when he loses all his savings to a brutal Russian club owner

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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tv guide

w e d n e s d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Cash in the Attic 11:45am ��Bargain Hunt 12:30pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Horrible Histories: Gory Games 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show The magic of the Mediterranean is the subject of this edition of Chelsea Flower Show coverage. Designer Tom Hoblyn shows Alan Titchmarsh around his Italian renaissance garden. 8:00pm ��DIY SOS The Big Build Nick Knowles and the DIY team head to Dumfries in Scotland to meet Sue, whose partner Barry died of a sudden heart attack in 2003. 9:00pm ��The Apprentice Discount Dealing. The candidates are called to meet Lord Sugar on a rooftop overlooking the City of London, where countless financial deals are done on a daily basis. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45pm �� Surrogates 12:10am ��Weatherview 12:15am �� See Hear 12:45am �� The 70s 1:45am ��Great Ormond Street 2:45am �� Chaplains: Angels of Mersey

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 8:55am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm ��See Hear 1:30pm �� Lifeline 1:40pm ��Coast 1:45pm �� Hands on Nature 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9:00pm �� Hitler’s Children 10:00pm �� The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� The Fall of Singapore: The Great Betrayal 12:20am ��BBC News

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Katie’s mistrust of Robbie grows, but Declan is keen to help him. Sean is forced to retract his allegations, leaving Ali furious. Amy feels guilty when she sees how much Brenda means to Pollard. 7:30pm ��The Unforgettable A tribute to Dudley Moore, who is best known for being part of a double act with Peter Cook and as an unlikely Hollywood star. 8:00pm ��Lewis Lewis and Hathaway investigate the death of Professor Miranda Thornton, who apparently killed herself after her dating video was leaked on to a vicious media blog. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Soccer Aid Cat Deeley presents the first of three shows in the build-up to Soccer Aid 2012, the charity football match in aid of UNICEF. 11:05pm ��The Unforgettable 11:35pm �� Total Emergency All three services rush to a countryside car crash where a youth has been thrown out of a moving vehicle. Meanwhile, fire fighters evacuate residents when a house fire threatens to spread. 12:35am �� Jackpot247 2:35am ��The Three Musketeers Comic adaptation of the books of Alexandre Dumas. D’Artagnan and his loyal trio engage in numerous sword fights in an attempt to retrieve the queen of France’s diamonds.

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 12:35pm ��River Cottage Bites 12:50pm ��Helen of Troy 3:05pm ��Oscar Pistorius ‘Blade Runner’ 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Callum’s worst fears are confirmed when he finds more unpaid bills and comes home to find Jack demanding overdue rent from Martha. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� Liz Johnson ‘Night Swimmer’ 8:00pm �� Secret Eaters 9:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 10:00pm �� The Killing 10:55pm �� 2 Broke Girls 11:25pm �� Desperate Housewives 12:25am ��4thought.tv 12:30am ��Random Acts 12:35am ��Paralympic World Cup Highlights 1:35am �� Spotlight 1:50am ��Dot Rotten 2:05am ��Gaz Coombes 2:15am �� The Heartbreaks 2:25am ��Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 2:40am....... Launched at Red Bull Studios 2:50am �� What’s Fufu

24 Hours in A & E

Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm The new series of the RTS award-winning 24 Hours in A&E continues with a heart-warming and emotional episode focusing on some of the youngest patients treated by King’s College Hospital A&E. A quarter of all patients treated in King’s A&E are children, and this episode follows some of their stories for the first time, as well as one of A&E’s youngest and

newest recruits, 27-year-old emergency medicine trainee Matt. He’s the first member of his family to go to university and pursue a career in medicine. But this shift will prove to be a challenging one for Matt and the team. The first trauma is 16-yearold riding enthusiast Ellie who’s been airlifted to King’s from Kent after she was thrown from her horse and crushed against a fence. Ellie

arrives with no feeling down her left side and the team’s first concern is that she may have serious spinal injuries. Ellie’s mum, Kate, can only wait and reflect as scans begin. Dr Matt also meets pregnant Jill who arrives with intense pain after a sudden and severe haemorrhage. She fears that she might be losing her baby, having suffered a number of miscarriages in the past.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

2 3 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm �� Mexican Food Made Simple 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:15pm ��Abducted 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� The Gadget Show: World Tour 8:00pm �� Emergency Bikers 9:00pm ��NCIS 10:00pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:00pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:55pm ��Pokerstars

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� One Direction: A Year in the Making 9:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm �� I Am Legend 12:45am ��The Only Way is Essex

7:00pm �� Don’t Tell the Bride USA Property dealer Bryan is tasked with making all the arrangements for his wedding with Latresea, but with just three weeks and only his brother as best man to help, will he make all the plans to Latresea’s satisfaction? 7:50pm �� Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Eccentric Captain Sparrow is on a mission to rescue the Governer’s beautiful daughter, Elizabeth, and his ship, the Black Pearl, both of which have been captured by curseridden pirate, Captain Barbossa. 10:00pm ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments Richard Bacon and David James count down the most inspirational, ridiculous and mindblowing incidents from the last 20 years of football’s European Championships. 11:30pm �� Family Guy 12:15am �� American Dad! 12:35am �� American Dad! 1:00am ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments 2:25am �� Britain Unzipped

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� River Cottage Bites 10:10am �� The Landscape Man 11:15am �� Kidnapped 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am �� Carry on Laughing 6:35am ��Heartbeat 7:30am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:30am ��Terry and June 9:05am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:15am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:25am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:00pm ��On the Buses 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:55am ��The Saint 7:50am �� The Sweeney 8:55am �� Minder 9:55am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am �� The Sweeney 12:55pm �� Minder 1:55pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 2:25pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 3:00pm �� Cricket

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� Vanity Fair 10:45pm ��Wycliffe 11:50pm �� Inspector Wexford 1:50am �� Film File 2:00am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10:00pm �� The World’s Largest Snake 11:05pm �� My Phone Sex Secrets 12:10am ��Grand Designs 1:15am �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 2:20am �� One Born Every Minute

7:25pm �� Euro 2012 8:00pm �� Cycling: Tour Series 9:00pm ��Blazing Saddles 11:00pm �� The Beguiled 1:05am ��The Saint 2:10am ��Police, Camera, Action! 2:35am �� Film File 2:45am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

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6:30am ��Rounders A young poker player gives up gambling when he loses all his savings to a brutal Russian club owner, turning his attention to studying law. However, when an old friend is released from prison with substantial debts to worry about, he is persuaded to return to the game. 9:00am �� Bad Girls A prostitute is sentenced to hang for killing an abusive customer, but her three friends ride to the rescue and together they flee their frontier town in search of a new life. However, the outlaws are pursued by two detectives, and also come into conflict with a gang of bank robbers who have stolen their money. 11:00am �� Half Angel A sleepwalking secretary loves a lawyer by night but hates him by day. 12:26pm �� The World’s Greatest Lover Gene Wilder stars as a baker, groomed by a Hollywood film company as a rival to Valentino, whose wife falls for the star he is intended to replace. 2:00pm ��Worth Winning A TV weatherman’s buddy bets him he cannot talk three women into marriage, and prove it on video. 4:00pm ��Rhinestone Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton star in this comedy about a bar-room singer who bets her obnoxious employer she can transform a rough-and-ready taxi driver into a Country and Western singer. 6:00pm ��Prelude to a Kiss A mysterious old man wanders into a couple’s wedding reception and wishes he could be young again - causing him to magically switch bodies with the bride, who then struggles to persuade everyone of her predicament. 8:00pm ��Dog Park A man’s ex-girlfriend takes his dog, and his new love interest values her dog above men. 9:47pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Jawbreakers In an all-male cast, men fulfill their wanton desires. 11:42pm �� FXM Presents

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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tv guide

th u r s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Cash in the Attic 11:45am ��Bargain Hunt 12:30pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm �� Lockie Leonard 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Young Dracula 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders A manic Ian presses ahead with wedding plans despite Mandy’s terrible news but, with spiralling debts, he is forced to source alternative funds for his big day. 8:00pm ��Planet Earth Live Richard Hammond and Julia Bradbury present the final live updates from around the world, with the latest news and drama on all the baby animals. 9:00pm ��National Treasures: Jubilee Special Filmed at Westminster Abbey, the programme celebrates Britain’s royal past in the church which has witnessed more than a thousand years of pageantry and regal history. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��Question Time 11:35pm ��This Week 12:20am �� Holiday Weatherview 12:25am ��Panorama 12:55am �� Countryfile 1:55am ��Antiques Roadshow 2:55am �� Out of Africa: Ivory Wars

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 8:55am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� Hands on Nature 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9:00pm ��The Fish Market: Inside Billingsgate 10:00pm ��Grandma’s House 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� Golf 12:20am ��BBC News

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale An unexpected guest brings Brenda’s family gathering to an abrupt halt. Ali gets into trouble for defending Sean. Megan pleads with Declan to cut all ties with Robbie. 7:30pm �� Tonight Energy bills average more than 1,300 pounds a year per household and are set to continue rising. For the first time in the UK, thousands of people have got together to see if they can slash the cost. 8:00pm �� Emmerdale Val causes problems between Brenda and Pollard. Charity worries that Jai has an ulterior motive for adopting Noah. Alicia is shocked to hear Justin is getting married. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Tyrone is left shaken when Kirsty turns violent. Sunita is stung as Karl and Stella celebrate their anniversary. Sean is convinced that Betty is sending him a message. 9:00pm �� Long Lost Family Fiona Dunn was brought up in the 1960s by a couple she believed were her natural parents. Later, she discovered that the woman she thought was her mother was in fact her aunt and that she was actually the child of her uncle and his mistress. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm �� Soccer Aid 11:05pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 12:05am �� Jackpot247 2:35am �� Tonight

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 12:35pm ��River Cottage Bites 12:50pm �� Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks As Bart and Sinead go on the run, a distraught Diane confronts the McQueens. Callum struggles to manage his exams, and Martha’s selfish demands are the last thing he needs. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��Oscar Pistorius ‘One Giant Leap’ Paralympic sprinting champion Oscar Pistorius shares what London means to him as he travels through the city at night. 8:00pm �� Phil Spencer Secret Agent Phil’s mission takes him to commuter-belt Kent, where two properties get some secret agent assistance after being on the market for almost two years between them. 9:00pm �� The Hoarder Next Door 10:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 11:05pm �� The Secret Millionaire 12:05am ��4thought.tv 12:10am ��Random Acts 12:15am ��Paralympic World Cup Highlights 1:15am �� Extreme A and E 2:10am �� Unreported World 2:35am �� Dispatches

National Treasures: Jubilee Special BBC 1 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Special edition of the history magazine show presented by Dan Snow and Sian Williams. Filmed at Westminster Abbey, the programme celebrates Britain’s royal past in the church which has witnessed more than a thousand years of pageantry and regal history.

Fashion icon Twiggy discovers the rules of dressing the Queen, in conversation with royal designers and milliners. Larry Lamb revisits his childhood in the 50s to find out why vintage is such big business. Historian Lucy Worsley draws parallels between the London of 1897, when Queen Victoria celebrated

her diamond jubilee, and the preparations for this year’s celebrations. Dan Snow continues his history road trips with The One Show’s resident hairdresser Michael Douglas, to discover how a King called Ken is related to our Queen, and what happened when we experimented with doing away with the monarchy.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

2 4 8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� River Cottage Bites 10:15am �� The Landscape Man 11:25am ��Victim 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA

6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Police Interceptors 8:00pm ��The True Story 9:00pm ��The Restaurant Inspector 10:00pm ��Conspiracy Theory 12:40am ��Super Casino

7:00pm �� The Apprentice Discount Dealing. The candidates are called to meet Lord Sugar on a rooftop overlooking the City of London. For one day only, the teams will be representing an online daily deals website that offers Londoners exclusive deals in hotel stays, beauty treatments, posh dinners and premium products. 8:00pm �� The Eurovision Song Contest The second of two Eurovision semi-finals, hosted by Scott Mills and Sara Cox. It features interviews with some of the acts that have already qualified for the grand final, and a look at Engelbert’s Baku adventure. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� American Dad! 11:40pm �� American Dad! 12:05am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 1:05am �� Angry Boys 1:30am ��Are My Fake Breasts Safe? 2:30am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 3:00am �� Britain Unzipped

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 8:00pm ��American Idol 9:00pm �� The Exclusives 10:00pm ��Forgetting Sarah Marshall 12:15am �� The Exclusives 1:15am �� Coronation Street 1:45am �� Emmerdale 2:35am �� Nanny 911

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:15am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:20am ��Terry and June 9:00am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:10am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:20am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat 6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� Monk 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm ��Blue Murder 11:30pm �� Ruth Rendell Mysteries 12:35am �� Ruth Rendell Mysteries 1:30am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 2:30am ��Teleshopping

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:50am ��The Saint 7:40am ��Police, Camera, Action! 8:40am �� Cycling: Tour Series 9:40am �� Quantum Leap 10:40am ��The Saint 11:40am ��Police, Camera, Action! 12:45pm ��Tommy Cooper 1:50pm �� The Sweeney 2:50pm �� Police Stop! 3:50pm ��The Saint 4:50pm �� Minder 5:55pm �� The Sweeney 7:00pm �� Euro 2012 7:35pm �� Greatest FA Cup Final Goals 7:45pm �� Every Which Way But Loose 10:00pm ��On Deadly Ground 12:05am �� Breakout 1:05am �� Minder 2:05am �� The Sweeney 3:00am ��Teleshopping

6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm ��Chinese Food in Minutes 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:15pm ��Chinese Food in Minutes 3:20pm �� McBride: Requiem 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours

Olympic Torch Live: West Midlands BBC 1 - 7:00 - 7:30 pm The Olympic Torch is making its way through the West Midlands and the BBC will be on hand to bring viewers all the excitement as it arrives in Worcester on its journey to the London 2012 games. BBC Midlands Today’s Nick Owen and Olympic medallist Katharine Merry present a live programme marking the Torch Relay’s journey through the streets of the West Midlands to

the home of Worcestershire County Cricket Club, where the Olympic Torch will be used to light a cauldron. Nick and Katharine (who won bronze in the 400m at the Sydney Olympics in 2000) will be meeting some of the people chosen to carry the Olympic flame in Worcester. Thousands of people are expected to join them to share a moment in history.

6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��The Good Wife 10:00pm �� Father Ted 10:30pm �� Father Ted 11:05pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 12:05am ��Grand Designs 1:10am ��The Good Wife 2:10am �� Brothers and Sisters

tv guide th

m ay

6:30am ��Me, Myself and Irene Off-colour humour abounds in this smashhit comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Jim Carrey as a mild-mannered policeman who has to balance his day-today responsibilities with a split personality. Unfortunately his alter ego is not quite as easy-going - a problem exacerbated when he falls in love. 8:46am ��FXM Presents A script to screen exploration of the movie making process. 9:00am ��Prelude to a Kiss A mysterious old man wanders into a couple’s wedding reception and wishes he could be young again - causing him to magically switch bodies with the bride, who then struggles to persuade everyone of her predicament. 11:00am �� A Life in the Balance A widower’s little boy leads the police to a killer of sinners in Mexico City. 12:30pm ��Ransom The British ambassador to a Scandinavian country is abducted, sparking off an audacious rescue mission as a determined security chief refuses to negotiate, deciding instead to take a more direct approach. 2:00pm ��The Last Shot You Hear When a marriage counselor refuses to give his wife a divorce, foul play follows. 4:00pm................................................Visiting Hours A psychotic killer stalks and slashes his way through the unfortunate staff and patients of a hospital in an effort to reach a newsreader hiding within the wards. 6:00pm...................................... Black Widow A federal agent becomes obsessed with a woman believed to have murdered a string of wealthy husbands for their money, while changing her identity completely before moving on to the next victim. 8:00pm ��Lawbreakers In an all-male cast, men fulfill their wanton desires. 9:42pm �� FXM Presents 10:00pm �� Die Hard 4.0 Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane for this enjoyable fourth instalment in the action thriller series which features some amazing set pieces.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 time out

Take a little Crossword

Across

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TIME OUT

8. Do away with 9. Snare 10. Radioactive gaseous element 11. Inhabitant of Iran 12. Catch sight of 13. Signal to arise 16. Rousing 19. Quick sharp bark 22. Virgin Mary 23. Capital of Ecuador 24. Strap 25. Stiff coarse hair

Down 1. Without hair 2. Capitulate 3. Demon 4. Selection 5. Athletic shoe 6. Pertaining to society 7. Web-footed aquatic bird 14. Worker 15. Crisp 17. Native of India 18. Close at hand 20. Expels 21. Fit out 22. Blend

Solutions to our puzzles can be found on page 46 This week’s clever quote

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” - Oscar Wilde

The brain train

MATHS CHALLENGE Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.

Sudoku

Fill in the black squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 through 9.

Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom

An easy one

8 3 5 1 7 2 5 6 3 4 8 2 7 3 3 6 4 8 5 7 2

9 8 2 6 4 2

7 5 1 6 8 The dotted lines indicate areas which also contain a nonrepeating set of digits. These squares can be added together to produce the sums shown in the clues. A little tougher

Word search

Find and circle all of the School Supplies words that are hidden in the grid. The words may be hidden in any direction.

Backpack Binder Calculator Compass Crayons Dividers Eraser Glue Highlighters Notebooks Paper Pencils Pens Protractor Ruler Scissors Stapler Watercolors

Spot the 5 differences

Question One: What was the name of the world’s first commercial jet airliner? Question Two: One of the largest machines in the world is the LHC. LHC is an acronym for what? Question Three: What is the well known Hebrew word for ‘mankind’ or ‘man’? Question Four: What is the name of the castle that is the icon for all things ‘Walt Disney’? Question Five: What is the most eastern E.U. capital city? Question Six: The water in which lake was formed with tears?

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 showbiz

Jess Excited By Baby Body Obama Talks Pants You’d think she’d be knee-deep in nappies at this point, but new mum Jessica Simpson has far more important things to worry about. She’s already putting a plan in place to lose her baby weight. The former reality star finally gave birth to daughter, Maxwell Drew, earlier this month. And she’s wasting no time in getting her post-baby body up to scratch. A source told US Weekly: “As soon as Jessica heals from the C-section, she is extremely determined to get back in the gym and work out. She wants to show the world and is excited to do it.” Having just signed a $4m (£2.5m) deal with Weight Watchers, Jess admits that she gained 65 pounds during her pregnancy. Jessica weighed in at over 12st during her pregnancy The source added: “She’ll have to meet the weight-loss goals for the deal to go through. She hasn’t chosen a trainer yet. In fact, she hasn’t even thought about working out for a year. But if she wants this, she’ll need to work out a good five times a week.”

Tom Gets His Rock On

Get ready to see the Top Gun actor as you’ve never seen him before. Tom Cruise has got his kit off and posed in an array of saucy shots to promote his new film, Rock Of Ages, in W magazine and we just can’t get over how rock-hard his abs are. Where have those babies been hiding, eh? The tattoos are obviously fake, but we could definitely get used to these - in fact, we could even get on board with the eyeliner. What would Katie say? It seems we may have Katie Holmes to thank for Tom’s new role. The actor revealed that his wife loves a good singsong. He told W: “Kate loves musicals. She sings and dances and we kind of went through the history of musicals together. And Suri loved Hairspray. With kids, you watch everything over and over; I watched Hairspray 15 times with Suri.” Tom belts his socks off in the film, singing Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive and Guns ‘N Roses’ Paradise City. Gaawd, we can’t wait. And here’s the best bit - this bad boy has a soft side, too. “I’m a romantic,” he confessed. “I like doing things like creating romantic dinners, and she (Katie) enjoys that. I don’t know what to say - I’m just happy, and I have been since the moment I met her. What we have is very special. “She is an extraordinary person, and if you spent five minutes with her, you’d see it. Everything she does, she does with this beautiful creativity. She has a voice and warmth as an artist, as a mother. She’s funny and charming, and when she walks into the room, I just feel better.” Katie’s a lucky lady.

Barack Obama has only gone and discussed David Beckham’s pants in his latest speech. Not only that, but he teased him for being old... Obama was addressing the LA Galaxy team, who’d visited the White House after winning the Major League Soccer Championship. But enough about that, we know what you really want to read are Obama’s various insults directed at Goldenballs. Talking about David, he said: “We have young up-and-comer on the team, a guy named David Beckham.” “I gave David a hard time; I said half his teammates could be his kids. We’re getting old David, though you’re holding up better than me.” We had no idea these two enjoyed such banter - it’s just like two normal lads teasing each other in their local pub over a pint. He added: “He is tough. It is rare a man can be that tough on the field and also have his own line of underwear.”

Ooh. You didn’t go there, Baz. But David took it all in his stride; in fact he could barely hide his blushes as the President dissed him. We can’t wait to see VB and Becks hanging out with the Obamas when they’re next in LA. Remember to bring your football boots, Mr President.

Something To Tell Us, J.Lo?

Now Jennifer López is messing with our heads. She’s filled the vacant spot on her wedding finger - what are we supposed to make of that? The mum-of-two stepped out at the Los Angeles premiere of What To Expect When You’re Expecting last week. And while there was no doubt about her turning heads with the plunging neckline she’d picked out for the evening, our eyes are drawn to the sparkler on her left hand. Is it just part of her costume jewellery collection or could the red rock be a little promise from her toyboy boyfriend, Casper Smart? Spill, you two! The pair, who’ve been dating since late last year, certainly had that look of love about them as they arrived for the glitzy do. What do you reckon, then?

Joey Essex Out With Mystery Lady

Joey Essex shunned Sam Faiers for a mystery woman and Lauren Pope cosied up to Jordan Stephens from the Rizzle Kicks as the TOWIE lot wreaked havoc in London. The self-appointed style icon has been rekindling his rocky romance with Sam in the current series of The Only Way Is Essex, but it seems things are not as hot and steamy off screen as they have appeared in recent episodes. Joey, 20, and the rest of the gang were at celebrity haunt, Mahiki, in Soho celebrating Diags’ birthday when the beautiful blonde caught his eye.

The pair were spotted leaving together hand in hand before jumping into a taxi, a move Joey seemed to regret when he realised he was shrouded with cameras. But it seemed the consequences of his lucky find dawned on him when he got into the waiting car and he clutched his head as the pair pulled away. Meanwhile, self-confessed cougar Lauren Pope was embarking on her own love affair with 20-year-old singer Jordan. The pair were seen laughing and joking outside the exclusive club before eventually drawing in for a cheeky kiss.

Kerry Katona has never denied the fact she’s struggled with drink and drugs in the past. But now the former addict is keen to use her own personal experiences to help others. Ex-Atomic Kitten and reality TV star Kerry has opened a boot camp-styled rehabilitation clinic to help other with the problems she combated. “I got massively lost in life. Cocaine became my best friend, my only friend. I went to boot camp and the first time I turned up there as high as a kite,” she told Radio Five Live. “A week-and-a-half through it, it was like coming out of a coma, the fog being lifted. Silly as this sounds, exercise changed my life. It was the first time I had a natural high.” Kerry wants to expand this venture and eventually work with the NHS to help addicts. The mum-of-four was terrified her troubles with drink and drugs would kill her, like fellow celebrities

Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston. “The likes of Whitney and Amy, back in the day – I really thought I would be first to die. I got massively lost in life.” “I look at the likes of Amy Winehouse, God rest her soul, and I found the strength to get out of the mess I was in. I have four beautiful healthy children, my career’s going from strength to strength, and I’m happy and healthy and on top form,” Kerry said.

Kerry Katona Opens Rehab Boot Camp

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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out on the town

Big Man at the Heritage

The big man Neil is resident at the long established Heritage Bar down in San Marino, Los Cristianos; and this bar has something for everyone. Dave, the gaffer, has a friendly smile and a warm handshake for everyone on entry; duplicated by his ever smiling brother, the other Neil behind the bar, hi buddy, and his son Jordan: so a real family bar with a family atmosphere. The night I were there was a Saturday; their special swing night. The big man, Neil, who hails from Paisley in Scotland was resplendent in suit and bow tie, and all the staff were also dressed to the nines. Nice to see everyone mucking in; the bar was busy and there was a pro at the helm, handling songs from Sinatra to Dean Martin with a finesse which shows why he is still here in Tenerife after eighteen years. His quizzes are not to be sniffed at either. These are well thought out and don´t treat clients as morons, make you think and a bit of wit thrown in as well. Add to this bingo nights and play your cards right; you have a well-rounded cabaret and entertainment bar with a warm and friendly atmosphere. At the time of writing this the big man himself is popping in to hospital for a wee bit of an operation.

Good luck with it pal, get well soon. If you’re down in Los Cristianos pop in and see the gang in the Heritage Bar. Once again you won’t be disappointed. Oh and Mondays, a wee treat; my old mate Aidy Evans is appearing there. Look out for more details in Tenerife Weekly and Coast FM’s Good Gig Guide.

Bye for now, Gordon King.

The Avengers (PG13)

Showing daily at 15:30 143 min

Starring

Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi

Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark/Iron Man Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Cpt America Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/The Hulk

SYNOPSIS:

Marvel Studios delivers the ultimate comic-book film, which ties together such characters as Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) for a big-screen franchise team-up like no other. Taking center stage this time is Nick Fury (played once again by the noteperfect Samuel L. Jackson), leader of the peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury, along with former

Russian spy Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), recruits a super team to combat Thor’s ever-deceptive brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) after he brainwashes ace archer Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) while stealing a cosmic cube from an underground base. Thus the heroes must learn to work together alongside outlaw scientist Bruce Banner (Ruffalo), who can track down the artifact’s gamma signals when he’s not hulking out into a giant green monster.

Coast FM GOOD GIG GUIDE Mon 21/5

Restaurant Margarita Elaine Alexander Mikey Mike Boogie Wonderland James Darling Indianna

Coconut Joe Scott Bateman Act Becky

Tue 22/5

Restaurant Margarita Michael J Grant Shiel Campbell Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Frank Farrow Cabaret Jasmin

Wed 23/5

Restaurant Margarita Mikey Mike Plus I.S. Topazz Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Ged Bolton

Thur 24/5

Restaurant Margarita Helena Campbell Ged Bolton James Darling Ronnie Canada Motown Gold Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Helena

Fri 25/5

Restaurant Margarita Charlie Hodge Special Neil Diamond American Songbook

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Michaela

Sat 26/5

Restaurant Margarita Sheila Tyson Motown Queen James Darling Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Claudio Cabaret Karen as Kylie

Sun 27/5

Restaurant Margarita Pip Brown Michael Buble Brads´Rock Dj Robbie Williams Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret John Ashford

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

All Football Shown

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

St Eugenes With Dave Michaels

Good Pub Grub

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Little Bit of Shrek Cabaret Billy Porter

St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Cabaret Christine Kaye Premier Ray Wilde Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night Premier Ray Wilde Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Line dancing with Eileen Premier Ray Wilde

Shambles Cc Mirador,Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Shiel Campbell

Grandee O’Donnells With Gordon King later in Shenanigans

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris Compere Aidy Evans

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Michael J Grant

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack later in Shenanigans

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his music quiz and Karaoke

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Freak Boutique

Beverly Hills Los Cris Compere Gordon King Silverpoint Men In Black

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his quiz and bingo

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Little Bit of Shrek Cabaret Little Bit of Elvis

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Chance to Win Over 1,500 Euros Pop In

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Brad James

Beverley Hills Los Cris Compere Gordon King Cabaret Karen as Kylie

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his Fun Karaoke

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Stan Fraser Premier Ray Wilde

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night with Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Special Night Pablo & Shanty

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King Derek Shannon Shenanigans After Loony Toons

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his quiz and Play Your Cards Right

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Elaine Alexander

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King with Blues Bros later in Shenanigans

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with special swing night, join the Rat Pack, Suit up

Shambles Cc Mirador Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Elaine Alexander

Shenanigans Gordon King, Fundraiser For Aaron, All Welcome Loony Toons Freddy Kay Dave Dean

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his bingo then Karaoke

Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Flicks Adrian Jay with Avril Taylor Silencio, Amarillo Bay Premier Special Guest Artist Ray Wilde Market Tavern Paloma Beach Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay Premier Ray Wilde

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay 4 Top Cabarets Every Week, Come Down, Join In

Good Gig Guide. For Further Information Call Gordon King On 693 732 536

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Sharples in Session By John Sharples

R U READN G THS

At the very beginning of this year, I will be 50 years old. Those who are older than me say that I am still a young whippersnapper, those who are younger than me think that I am old. Personally, I don’t care one way or the other whether I am old or young. I love getting older but I could do without the onset of backache and various other ailments. Anyway, I am quite “Tech Friendly”. The computer isn’t a “machine”, it is one of my best friends, so I am able to keep up with what is going on in the world, buy things on eBay and contact my friends in a flash! Having said all that: there are some things that I just can’t get on with. The Americanisation of the English

Money Makers

Apparently, Kym Marsh, who plays Michelle Connor in Coronation Street, has just signed a three year deal worth £500,000.... The same amount that the performing dog got on Britain’s got Talent for a three minute spot! It’s a funny old world!

Sleeping Beauty

language annoys me to the point of distraction. The word “awesome” is such a ridiculously useless word. Don’t we have enough ways to describe something wonderful, spectacular, fabulous, incredible, wondrous, amazing, magnificent etc. etc. All this fashionable “text speak” is also annoying. It comes out of downright laziness and nothing more. People don’t seem to be able to spell anymore. “Hello m8, How R U?” is not the sort of language that warrants a reply as far I am concerned. If you can’t be bothered to write the damned words properly, send your text to someone else; who will have the same brain power as yourself and who will be able to reply in numbers and letters that make up a whole syllable. But, Leave me out of it!

Mueca In Puerto De La Cruz

I went to the theatre this week. The show “Sleeping Beauty on Ice” was playing at the Tenerife Auditorium. It was a fabulous experience. The Moscow all stars have appeared here before in their version of “Swan Lake” and thankfully the principal boy was the same talented skater as last time. I felt that the first half of the show was lacking in excitement, but once he appeared as the prince in the second half, the stage lit up. His skating ability is superb and the skaters all perform their party pieces at the end of the show. The audience erupted as this band of talented people shot across the stage, flew in the air and spun around at top speeds, making us all dizzy just watching them.

May can be very quiet here in Tenerife and the streets don’t generally bustle with people at this time of year. This certainly wasn’t the case last week in Puerto de la Cruz. The amazing Ennio Marchetto performed on an enormous stage in the town to rapturous applause and gasps of delight. His is one of the cleverest mime shows that I have ever witnessed and what a lovely guy he is offstage too. He has made a number of appearances on the Royal Variety Performance. You may remember him. He is the entertainer who uses paper costumes that deftly transform from one character to another. His repertoire moves swiftly from a donkey riding Dolly Parton to Celine Dion complete with a mini titanic costume. This is his second appearance on the Island and he hopes to be back. I will be there for another taste of his show.

Only a few weeks to go before Dallas returns to the TV screens. I loved the original show! I believe its return, with Bobby, Sue Ellen and J.R watching over

their sons as they go through the same backstabbing rollercoaster ride that did back in the eighties, will be a sure-fire hit and a well needed rest from junk talent shows that showcase one trick ponies on a weekly basis.. I just hope that Sue Ellen is finally off the booze, I don’t think I could handle her crawling around on skid row at her age!

De Daaa De Daaa De Daa Da Da Daaa

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 sharples in session

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 COMMUNITY MATTERS

Community matters

Written by Ken Cumming Pastor of Callao Salvaje Community Church ‘’...Joshua...summoned all the men of Israel and said...’Put your feet on the necks of these kings...’ ‘ Joshua 10:24

When Israel entered the Promised Land there were five kings with armies determined to stop them. But God helped Joshua to defeat them and all five kings ran and hid in a cave. So Joshua told his soldiers to bring them out and put their foot on each of their necks. That day God’s Word to His people was: ‘...Be strong and of good courage, for thus the Lord will do to all your enemies against whom you fight’ (v. 25). What a promise! Are the forces of fear trying to take up residence in your mind today? Are they causing you to think the worst instead of believing God for the best? Are they telling you that you’re unworthy to receive what He has promised, that you’ll never fulfil the destiny God has in mind for you? With God, your victory is assured, but you have a part to play in it. You must go into that dark cave, bring each king out, place your foot on their neck and put them to death. These five kings represent your five natural senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching, and God doesn’t want you to live according to their dictates.

P u t Yo u r Foot Down!

Your senses are susceptible to every negative thing going on around you, but your faith can lift you above it and give you victory.

But y o u can’t just sit down and do nothing. Your passivity gives them the right to rule you. They have no power over you, except the power you give them. So put your foot down! ‘’...So they came forward and placed their feet on their necks.’’ Joshua 10:24 Upon entering the Promised Land and encountering five well-entrenched kings,

God told Israel, ‘...Do not be...dismayed...’ (v.25). The word ‘dismayed’ implies being ‘torn down by fear’ and ‘falling apart.’ Today Satan wants to tear you down by robbing you of your peace, your joy and your confidence. He will keep pouring on the pressure in hopes that you will fall apart. That’s why God told Joshua to bring each king out of the cave and deal with him decisively by standing on his neck and then hanging him on a tree. Satan works through our five senses but God has given us a sixth sense: faith. The Bible says, ‘We walk by faith, not by sight’ (2 Corinthians 5:7). Faith says, ‘In spite of what I see, in spite of what I hear, in spite of what I feel, in spite of what I taste, in spite of what I smell, I believe everything’s going to be all right because God is with me.’ Your senses, which are susceptible to all that’s going on around you, are faith-killers. And unless you put them under your foot they will steal your dream, your confidence and everything else God has promised you. Emotions are problem-driven, but faith is purpose-driven. If you allow your emotions to rule your life you will be up one minute and down the next. You say, ‘But I thought life is supposed to be an up and down experience.’ No, God’s plan for you is to get down on your knees to pray, then get up in faith and do what He’s told you to do.

Tuesday 10.30am Little Angels Silencio Church Tuesday 11.00am Play Zone STCF Wednesday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje Friday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje

Praise &Worship With Ken

Some of the Local Church Sunday Morning Services Las Americas Anglican Church Pueblo Canario 10.15am Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 11:00am Los Cristianos International Church Princesa Dácil Hotel 11:00am Costa del Silencio Silencio Church Coral Mar Square 11:00am Callao Salvaje Community Church Sueño Azul 11:00am Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Assembly Eng / Spanish 11:00am

Every Sunday 7am to 9am SPANISH CORNER Welcome to our next issue of the Spanish corner. I hope you found last week’s words useful. Let’s continue with our progress.

Some of the Local Church Sunday Evening Services Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 6:00pm Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Deutsch Bi Lingual Eng/Ger 2:00pm Las Americas The Living Room Veronica’s 6:00pm Some Other Church activities Many of the local churches also hold mid week services and Bible studies So phone the numbers below or check out the information on their websites.

Spanish

Phonetically

English

El Mecánico

El Mec-an-e-co

Mechanic

El Abogado

El Ab-oh-gad-o

Lawyer

El Pescador

El Pes-cad-or

Fisherman

Saturday Market Free Literature stall at the Las Américas market.

El Bombero

El Bom-bare-oh

Fire-fighter

SHE Europe (Confidential HELPLINE for women in crisis) 690 964 145

El Médico

El Med-ic-oh

Doctor

Also if visiting the North of the Island Puerto del la Cruz Anglican Church North Tenerife Christian Fellowship, next to Post Office

El Dentista

El Den-tis-tah

Dentist

Tuesday Little Angels Mums & Tots Silencio Church 10:30am Tuesday Play Zone Mums & Tots STCF 11:00am Wednesday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am Friday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am The Living Room (Christian drop-in centre) Veronicas Las Americas 922 75 23 64 (above Burger King) Tue – Fri

11.30am

More details on all the above can be found on the following websites: www.christiansintenerife.co.uk covering most of the churches www.silenciochurch.org 922 78 40 17 / 609 565 528 www.tenerifechurch.com 922 74 20 45 / 679 660 277 www.callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 922 78 48 77 / 654 932 541 www.stcf.org 922 79 00 07 / 660 183 760 www.caictenerife.com 922 73 16 91 / 628 107 316 www.ntcf.org 922 35 10 11 / 677 349 088

4 -7:00pm

El En-ferm-airoh El Farmacéutico El Farm-a-se-uti-co El Enfermero

Nurse Pharmacist

El Cartero

El Car-tair-oh

Postman

El Camarero

El Cam-a-rareoh

Waiter / Server

See you next week!

Carlos.

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health, beauty & fashion

Your Hair & Beauty Advice Column by Jade & staff at The Perfect Gift Salon

The wonderful Bob!

Firstly we would just like to pay our respect to the great Vidal Sassoon who passed away on the 9th May 2012. He was an exceptional hairdresser, and you would be hard pressed to think of another hairdresser whose death would merit so much as a sentence in a serious newspaper. But Sassoon certainly does.

Although the original bob was worn by a dancer named Irene Castle, as far back as 1910 it wasn’t until Sassoon introduced his “bob” in 1963 that the style really took off. At his salon at 171 Bond Street, the young designer Mary Quant was in his chair. She wanted something new and there really could have been no better wearer for the design. It was a change of outlook that required a change of haircut, and Sassoon provided it with his Bob. Sassoon’s approach was simplicity, low maintenance, modernity – and the specifications were all his. If you went to Vidal, you got a Vidal – there really was only one style.

Over the years the bob has never really gone out of fashion, it’s just been altered through the decades. There have been many variations, of which all look as stunning as the rest. If you are ever considering having a Bob, here are just a few of the styles that have been worn in the past and today. Not everyone likes short hair styles, so if you are ever thinking of having a Bob shaped haircut, Remember Gwyneth Paltrow with her long Bob. I really like this look; it has a great deal of elegance and looks great on anyone who wants to keep their length. Perhaps if your hair is a little broken at the ends or just needs a cut so that it grows healthier and stronger, try the long Bob. Ahhh, the beautiful Katie Holmes with her Angle Bob. This is a great cut for the summer, it keeps the hair off of the neck and at the same time enables you to show off your shoulders and define your cheek bones. This style always looks great on all ages. Paris Hilton looks adorable with this Bob.

As you will see, it is slightly longer on one side which, in my opinion, makes it that little bit more interesting and feminine. Like most Bobs, this is a very easy style to maintain with very little effort. Do you remember Jennifer Aniston with her shoulder length Bob? This again is a very easy look to keep in order. This style is also great for all ages and is a great cut if you want to grow your hair out from a short style, as it doesn’t need such a precision cut as some of the others, so the next time you visit your salon you would only need a trim. Rihanna with her Asymmetric Bob, The latest in Bob fashion! I adore this new crazed look because it has it all; elegance, chicness, trend, glamour. It is

easy to manage, stays off your neck in the heat of the summer, looks great in every colour or shade and suits almost every shape of face. If you are considering a Bob, always chat to your stylist beforehand. They will be able to advise you on the favourable style for your features, hair length and thickness; and of course the best shape for your profile. You can wear your Bob in any colour you wish as they look great in every shade. Perhaps you could even go a little wild and have some semi-permanent fashion colours put through. You might need to shop about for this as not all salons will offer this service.

For Hair and beauty advice email as at; the.perfect.gift@hotmail.com

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health, beauty & fashion

The Gaia Apothecary Qualified Medical Herbalist by Meg Glaister How To Make Infused Herb Oils And Ointments It is very easy to make your own herbal oils and ointments and they can be used for many different things. To make an ointment you first need to make infused herbal oil. All you need is a clean jar with a lid, the herb of your choice and some olive oil or almond oil. Place the herb in the jar and put in enough oil plus an extra inch to cover the herb. Label the jar with the name of the herb and the date. Leave to stand in a sunny position for one month, gently shaking the jar daily. After one month, strain off the oil and store in a clean glass container. Don’t confuse herbal oils with essential

oils as these are made differently and are extremely strong. To make an ointment you will need approximately 4 fluid ozs of herb oil and 20 grams of beeswax. Heat the beeswax

in a container over a pan of hot water until it has melted. Add the oil and stir well. Place a small amount in the jar and put in the fridge for a few minutes to see if the ointment is solid enough. It will turn solid when it has cooled. If the ointment is too stiff add more oil or if it is too runny add more beeswax. Pour the ointment into a sterilised glass jar, label with the name of the ointment and date. You can add a few drops of essential oil to the ointment when you add the infused oil. The essential oil will make the ointment stronger and you can add an essential oil of your choice for the aroma. Ointments should keep indefinitely. A very useful herb to make oils and

ointments is St John’s Wort (Hiperico). It is very good for sunburn, neuralgia and to soothe irritated skin. Chamomile (manzanilla) makes a nice oil and ointment for inflamed and irritated skin conditions. Adding a few drops of lavender or tea tree (árbol de té) oil will also make the ointment antiseptic so it is useful for cuts and insect bites. If you have any health topics you wish me to discuss on this page or would like a free 15 minute discussion to see if Herbal Medicine can help your condition please feel free to contact Meg Glaister DBTh MIRCH (The Gaia Apothecary) on 649529703 or email gaiaapothecary@ hotmail.com

Using Wrong Hair Shampoo? - What Kind of Shampoo Should You Use?

Using the wrong shampoo is an issue that nearly everyone deals with – though they may not be aware of the problem. And with so many different shampoos available, it isn’t hard to grab the wrong one off the shelf. You may even fall victim to misleading advertisements or fancy labels. But don’t be discouraged, because this article will help you figure out if you’re using the wrong shampoo. If you’ve been using the wrong shampoo, you might have a few problems; such as dry hair, frizzy hair, flaky scalp, oily scalp, breakage or faded colour. However, these symptoms are also beauty issues that can be caused by other products like gel, mousse, dry shampoo, leave-in conditioners, cream, milk, hair spray or texturizing powders. Knowing all of this, it’s tricky narrowing down what exactly is causing the problems, but shampoos can help alleviate some of the issues caused by hairstyling products as well. Stay away from Sulfates

Shampoos that contain either Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) or Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES) can cause a lot of issues not only with your locks, but also with your face and hands. Sulfates aren’t only found in shampoos, but also body and face washes as well. Some side effects of these ingredients are eye irritation, tangled hair, scalp irritation, split ends, frizzy hair, and swelling of the hands, arms and face. Long story, short; be cautious and aware of the ingredients in the shampoo you are using. Clarifying Shampoo to Clear Away Build-up If you think your locks are misbehaving because of the styling products you use, then it’s time to use a clarifying shampoo to rid your hair and scalp of the unwanted mess that can build up and cause a greasy or flaky scalp. You should even think about switching to a different styling product when you run out of your current one. Nearly all of the professional product lines offer a clarifying shampoo, as do the drug store lines, and they all work in the same manner.

her thoughts. It can be difficult finding the right shampoo because most of us will have more than one symptom, so there is a lot of trial and error involved in finding the perfect shampoo. Here is an easy-to-follow guide for finding the right shampoo for you. Types of Shampoos for Different Types of Hair

For Normal Type

For a normal type, you’ll want to find a shampoo that is made for normal hair because it won’t rob you of the natural oils. Just be sure that you’re not shampooing too often because doing so will cause dry locks.

For Oily Type If you have colour treated hair, beware of using clarifying shampoos too often because they can cause your colour to fade faster. To be safe, don’t use clarifying shampoos for the first two weeks after you’ve coloured your hair, and limit usage to once a month to keep your hair colour from fading. If you still have build-up from hard water or swimming, consult your hair stylist for a stronger treatment. Are you shampooing too often? A big problem that you may have is shampooing too often. Shampooing should only be done when you have a need to. It usually doesn’t need to be washed every day, and you may even only need to wash it every three days or so depending on your personal needs. Dry shampoos can also be overused, and if you’re using them too frequently, you’ll dry out your scalp! Dry shampoos are great for in-between days or after a visit to the gym; just be sure to only use them when you need to. Now that you know what causes hair to misbehave, you can better understand how to treat all of the issues that can come from over-styling or excessive shampooing. If you don’t use any hairstyling products, or if you use them so infrequently that you’re positive it’s the shampoo, the following information will greatly improve your next visit to the shampoo aisle. Examining your Habits and Hair A lot of shampoos have harsh detergents, fragrances, and other chemicals that harm your hair. So before buying a shampoo simply for the scent, buy one that will actually clean your locks without causing more damage! The first step is to pinpoint your specific hair type, texture, colour, thickness, how often you shampoo, how often you use heat tools, if you colour treat or chemically alter your locks, and if you have split ends or dandruff. Do you have oily, dry or normal hair? If you’re unsure, ask your hairstylist for his/

If you have oily type, you will want a shampoo that uses tea tree oil, sage oil, or chamomile so that you can remove the oil from both your strands and scalp. Again, it’s important to only shampoo when it is needed! You’ll find that clarifying shampoos often have these ingredients, so read the labels to be sure that they’re safe for regular use.

For Dry Type

Dry type needs a moisturising shampoo that has oils and shea butter because they’ll nourish dry hair strands.

For Fine Type

A volumising or thickening shampoo is best for those with fine type. Volumising shampoos cause the strands to swell and be lifted, while the conditioners provide a coat of protein on the hair strand to fill in gaps in the cuticle. You can also use volumising conditioner if your hair is damaged or limp. For Dry, Flakey or Itchy Scalp Dandruff shampoo is ideal for these scalp irritations because it relieves you of these symptoms and moisturises your scalp, which lessens the flakes.

For Curly Type

For curls and kinks, look for a moisturising shampoo with a protein base. Make sure to look at the ingredients list; the sooner you read protein, shea butter, glycerin or glycerin, the better off you’ll be!

For Colour Treated Hair

If you colour or bleach your hair in any way, it’s important to use a shampoo that is colourfriendly, so you don’t cause the colour to fade away. As for shampoos in general, they should keep your locks clean without taking the oils down the drain with them. So keep your hair healthy by only shampooing when necessary and limit the use of hot tools.

The Coolest Piece of Exercise Equipment You’ll Ever Use It’s a luxury to be able to exercise at home in your own gym, but most fitness equipment can be bulky, too heavy to move, and just plain unflattering in a room. When one of the top ten design firms in the world, LUNAR, stepped in to change the way we look at home fitness equipment, the result is stylish, sculptural pieces of “active furniture.” Of the design concept for the avantgarde equipment, Matthis Hamann of LUNAR Europe said, “Our goal was to create highly functional fitness equipment which, besides its sporting uses, will adorn any living room in the same way as an aesthetic sculpture. The objects thus combine ‘life’ and ‘style’ in the best possible sense.” The Vela Cycle Trainer looks more like a work of art than a crowding, unsightly piece of exercise equipment. The LUNAR designers fused form and function to create a bike that would make training at home a challenging yet enjoyable experience, and fold up to reveal a sleek, clever shape.

Finding time to focus on a workout routine can be difficult with career, family and friends always taking priority, but LUNAR hopes that these beautiful pieces of equipment will provide motivation to workout at home and liven up any room with its unique design. “We all want to feel good – we strive for health and fitness and want to live in a nice home,” Hamann says. “With our objects and their intuitive, immersive handling, we are bringing a totally new kind of fitness studio into the home – and simultaneously enhancing peoples’ living space.”

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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WILDE’S WORLD / WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE?

WILDE’S WORLD

Has the world gone mad? My first story from this week’s news could affect any bar owner here in Spain. A bar owner in Murcia was fined 6,000 euros this week because one of his chairs was unable to support the weight of one of his clients. The case goes back to 2005 when the obese client sat on and broke the chair, but the first instance Court in Totana dismissed the

My car’s stuck in a tree....

Fed up residents from Lubezyna, Poland took matters into their own hands after complaining about a boy racer for 6 months. 24-year-old Zbigniew Filo found his beloved car stuck high in a tree after neighbours used a crane to lift the Ford Escort 20ft into the air and onto a willow tree. “We have been complaining about his dangerous driving for months now, and he hasn’t even got a licence. We hope now he will take notice” said one resident. “We received a call from a man saying his car was stuck in a tree, and that his neighbours had put it there,” Police spokesman Marta Pierko said. “After inspecting the site we instructed him to remove it from the tree.” …… This is something every child is told at some point as they break into adulthood; one of life’s first lessons. It would take the effort and integrity of every living person to make it fair, which sadly we all know will never happen, but even in selected pockets of society, the opportunity is afforded and vanquished by the very people it could help. A few years ago, the then British government attempted to mend its looming financial crisis. They said, candidly, “monetary problems are coming; we have found a way to prevent it. For one year, we will abandon V.A.T. All we ask is that with the money you save, spend! ut it back into your local economy; use your banks, rescue your country.” Regular readers of my column will know I am a strong supporter of honesty, and this seemed to be one of the most honest things any government had ever done. They gave the people the chance to help them help themselves. People didn’t! People squirreled their new additional wealth away, or worse, used it as deposits on more expensive purchases, actually raising debt. If this opportunity had been treated as what it was, a genuine opportunity to repair Britain before it broke, then consumer suppliers wouldn’t need to lose staff, industrial producers wouldn’t have to close down, and interest rates would have been marginally more stable. This continues through all economies. If

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“Morning” mourners

Mourners at the funeral of a ‘dead’ Egyptian waiter were stunned when he woke up just before the burial. Hamdi Hafez al-Nubi, 28, from Naga al-Simmanm, near Luxor was declared dead after suffering a heart attack at work. As per Islamic tradition, his body had been washed and prepared for burial by relatives convinced he was deceased. But a doctor found Mr al-Nubdi was still warm and when he checked his vital signs, found he was still breathing. She revived him - and then his mother fainted at the news.

case due to the client’s weight. But on appeal the Mucia Provincial Court ruled that ‘a chair should have sufficient resistance to support the weight of any person’. It continued, ‘the man fell because the chair was not able to sustain him and damages are valid. Anyone who puts the service of a table and chair for their clients is obliged to look after this material’.

Relatives at the funeral turned the funeral into a party of celebration at Mr al-Nubdi’s ‘resurrection’. Last month 95-year-old Chinese woman Li Xiufeng terrified neighbours by climbing out of her coffin six days after she ‘died’.

And finally

A Swiss actor is carving out a new career as a sinister-looking clown terrifying children’s birthday parties. Dominic Deville rents his time out as an “evil birthday clown”. For a fee he will pursue his prey for up to a week leaving scary notes and picture to let your child know he is watching them and will attack them when they are least expecting. Wearing a zombie clown suit he will find the child and smash a cake in their face. If the child manages to avoid the clown, they are given the cake as a birthday present. Deville said. “The clown will never break into a residence or show up at work. ‘It’s all in fun and if, at any point, the kids get

scared or their parents are concerned, we stop right there.” This is really not for anyone who suffers from coulrophobia.

Catch up with more quirky news every Saturday 12 till 3 on Coast FM

By Dave Michaels

Life Isn’t Fair people were prepared to pay a fair price for the services and products they purchased instead of trying to get ‘one up on the man!’ Then everybody could benefit. Not just financially. One of my first jobs, aged 16, was working in a clothing warehouse; we had a fifteen minute break at 10:15. If we were called back after 14 minutes the fuss that went up was untrue, but if we could blag 16 minutes…… we had ‘stuck it to the man!’ A triumph for the workers! When it comes to pay cuts or rises, in days gone by, if a company directly made a profit resulting from the hard work of its staff, all reaped the rewards. Today it seems to be inflation linked, not factoring in changes of season, costs of living, or market trends. rom a sweeping survey on my radio show, the weekend breakfast show on Coast FM, it seems generally, electric bills have gone through most peoples’ roofs, literally. How some of these figures are obtained is totally beyond me. I took a holiday a couple of months ago; according

to my electric bill, I used 50% more electric, while my house was empty, un-lit, unheated, and un-cooled…… I wonder if some companies, that do not face competition, wouldn’t now be facing potential competition if they had just charged a fair price for services and support provided. Ultimately, they would have surely reaped greater benefits!! Back to good old ‘flog it’ on Facebook, why must people see a product, see a price, then offer around half, hoping for a bargain? (For those of you unfamiliar with ‘Flog it’. It is a free service, putting people with things to sell in touch with anyone that might want to buy, swap, or sell items.) This simply wouldn’t happen if a tradesman came to your home to conduct repairs, you wouldn’t suddenly give them half of a stated amount. A price is set, if you want the product or service, that is what it will cost you. If you don’t, then don’t buy it!!! Is this too simple? If a policeman issued a 90 Euros fine, would you tell him to make do with 40 Euros?

Kid’s in the back

A Romanian father is in trouble after he was caught on camera carrying four children in the open boot of his car on a motorway. The driver, from Cluj Napoca, Romania, was filmed by another horrified motorist who spotted the youngsters kneeling in the boot. The footage shows the car moving across two motorway lanes before disappearing up a slip road, just ahead of a giant truck. Police - who tracked down the car from its registration number - say the driver was arrested and fined twice. “Once for transporting more passengers than the capacity of the car allows, and again for turning left when he should have gone straight on. “In total he received a 250 euro fine and six penalty points.” When you knowingly break the law, e.g. 130 km/h on the motorway, and get caught….. Expect to pay the price; this is actually life being fair!!! Sadly, this is why it could never work; there will always be chancers, and bargain hunters. People either over-inflating prices, insultingly offering way below market value, or expecting other people to pay for their mistakes. My philosophy is simple; I apologise when I am wrong, I pay for my own mistakes, and will always pay a fair price, or expect a fair price for services and goods provided. Perhaps I am an exception to the rule, although I don’t believe so. I am constantly told that I have too much faith in people, but I would dread a day when I cynically assumed the whole world was on the take. I know that the idea of fairness is a ridiculous one; this is probably life lesson number two. Maybe we should be grateful that this is something we learn instead of it being an instinctive trait from birth. Which baby in its right mind would ever learn to walk if it believed that for the rest of its life it would be getting knocked off its feet? ive fairness a go. Call it what you will, karma, fate, or whichever mystical belief you feel is responsible. You don’t have to make massive leaps and bounds; after all, it was baby steps, and the belief that they would one day take us somewhere that got you to this point. The point of maybe taking a leap of faith today! Don’t ask me how or why, but it does come back around, we do get what we give and reap what we sow.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 CALDERS CONFESSIONS

Naughty Nan

Calders Confessions Calder spent twelve years working as PA and Co-presenter with Jeremy Kyle on various radio stations and has now joined the team at Coast FM where he answers listeners´dilemmas each Sunday night on the airwaves. We are also very grateful to have him here, answering your questions and queries as part of the Tenerife Weekly team. If you have an issue you can`t overcome or just need general help and confidential advice, why not email Calder: calder@coastfmtenerife.com

The other day I took my 77-year-old Nan shopping and she brought her wheelie trolley with her. When we got home she unloaded loads of extra stuff that she hadn’t paid for, including batteries for her torch, a bottle of gin, and a piece of ham. I’d been with her at the till and she definitely hadn’t paid for them, so I’m convinced she stole them. I was absolutely gobsmacked and always thought she was a law-abiding old lady with morals. When I asked her if she was short of money she got all defensive and quickly changed the subject. My mum would be heartbroken if she knew her mum was a thief, but I don’t know what to do. If she keeps doing it she could end up in trouble with the police but how can I talk to her when she won’t admit there’s a problem? Veronica This is a difficult one for me to answer Veronica; as I don`t know your Gran. Three things leap off the page at me, but at the end of the day, you have to work this one out for

Bored in bed

Me and my fiancé are due to get married this summer, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s all such a good idea. We’ve never had an amazing sex life, but always used to do it once a week. But the last few months he’s been working late most nights and we haven’t had sex for months. I know that’s not the only thing that matters, but as a result I don’t feel close to him anymore and whenever I try to get him aroused he just makes an excuses and brushes me off. Nicola Personally, I think you have every right to be concerned if you’re not happy with things as they are. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and it could just be that this guy isn’t the one for

yourself. Firstly, your sweet old Gran may well be a very cunning thief who knows exactly what she’s doing. If you’re able to prove that to yourself beyond all doubts then threatening to go to the police or your mum about this may shock her into retiring from a life of crime. Secondly, this whole thing could be a symptom of some kind of illness which, if left untreated could lead to more trouble. Again, you’ll need proof rather than just suspicions before you start trying to tackle anything like that and you’ll also need your Gran to admit that she has a problem. If this second possibility turns out to be a reality then a GP will be able to help. Finally, you could be a victim of your own imagination and there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for the whole thing. The only way forward is to keep trying to talk this through and stress that you want to help rather than cause trouble. Whatever you decide to do, try not to carry this burden alone. I know you say your mum would be upset, but the truth is she would probably be more upset if you kept this from her. you. This is so much more than just pre-wedding jitters, Nicola, and I’d even go so far as to say that it could be a wakeup call for the pair of you. Talk things through and tell your fiancé that you’re just not prepared to commit to a man who seems completely disinterested in you physically. Hopefully, the conversation will develop and you might start getting some answers. With the wedding just a matter of months away, its crucial that you concentrate on turning things around if at all possible. It’s definitely better to find out where you stand right now rather than a few years down the line when you’ve had kids! Don’t let yourself drift blindly into a marriage that may be doomed to fail from day one. Consider postponing the wedding until you are completely satisfied that he’s 100% right for you.

Spiteful sister

My older sister’s been single for years. During that time I’ve always had a boyfriend, but still made sure I put aside time for us to spend on our own; going shopping, catching up, and just spending time together. But then last year, I split up with my boyfriend of 5 years, and a few months later she met her first serious partner. Since then, I’ve hardly seen her on her own. She won’t do anything without her bloke, and never makes an effort to put time aside for me on her own. I’ve found it really hard to cope with splitting up with my boyfriend, and I’ve needed her now more than ever, but I feel she’s really let me down. Claire

Having spent years on her own, your sister is obviously overwhelmed by the fact that somebody out there wants to be with her. I know you’re going through some tough times, Claire, but try not to lay the blame at your sister’s door. I admit that she seems to be neglecting you. The way to deal with that is to talk to her and explain exactly how you feel rather than letting your emotions get the better of you. Right now, your head`s in a spin and that’s only to be expected after a breakup. I`m sure that once you make it clear that you need some support, things will change. Try to stay calm and try not to hurl insults; just ask for help. The last thing you want is a family rift isn’t it? Nip this thing in the bud before it boils over and ruins what you have with your sister. It should only take one open and honest conversation to make her see that she needs to devote a little time to helping you get through this. Just remember that how you feel now is temporary and a few months down the line your life will be infinitely better.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 PSYCHE / HOROSCOPES / local info

Mind, Body AndwithSpirit Liana Mẽ Aly Ah

• International Intuitive • Life Enhancement Coach • Spiritual Mentor

Building

One thing that stops many people in their tracks is their lack of Self Esteem. Whether you have come through life and had a few knocks, or are just someone who doesn’t value yourself, you are in this bracket of society. Many people struggle with life, and feel they are not good enough. This may be an inbuilt pattern of behaviour, brought from various past life times, or indeed just a compounded situation, from your earlier years in this life. If you had parents, who did not bring you up to be confident. Or you just have a shy nature, or you have had several bad relationships, or you feel you haven’t succeeded in anything then you may feel like you are worthless. These feelings of low value can bring you to a deeper state of depression and cause you to behave in desperate ways, which is really just a cry for help. When we are balanced and in harmony in life, we make the right decisions and we live a purposeful life. When we have feelings of low self- esteem, and feel that others do things better than us and we are not good enough then we are on the slippery slope to depression and low self worth. So how do we break the cycle? How do we change out mindset and start to build Self-Esteem? Well, it starts with a need to be different, and this comes from thoughts of being dissatisfied with the way things are. Usually you do not like yourself very much. Maybe it’s about your body image. Maybe you are too thin or overweight and you perceive that you won’t be successful because of this. Maybe it is about previous experiences, so now you believe because it has been this way before, it will just be like this again. Maybe it is because you have been bullied, and made to feel you are useless. Any of these, and many more reasons, are what can bring a person down in their energy and beliefs; making them have low self-esteem. So if you want change, and you want to build your confidence, you first have to do some things which make you feel good.

Making changes around your home is a good first step. Clearing out clutter and making order from chaos will leave you feeling better. In previous articles I have said that all things carry energy, and affect us on subliminal levels, so take a good look at the things in your home. Are they there because they were given to you as a gift, and you don’t like it but feel duty bound to keep it? Are they there because they were part of a partnership and you are now single and still have them? So, you can see where I am going with this. I want you to start earnestly looking around your home and ask yourself with each object, do I love this? If you don’t, sell, give or throw it away. Your junk can easily be someone else’s treasure. Getting rid of things from your home that hold negative energy will help you lift your energy and start to build value for you. This works because what you are doing is saying a very big NO to the universe, about what you don’t want in your life anymore. You are valuing your choices and doing this for you. Not to please others. This is the beginning of you valuing your opinion and seeing that what you want is important. Many people seek out professional help when they are very low, for guidance and support. Over the years I have helped many people get motivated to get direction in their lives, and build there self esteem back up again. It’s not an overnight fix but a system of various techniques and tasks to get yourself feeling confident and happy in your life. I am available as a Spiritual Life Coach, Mentor, to help anyone who maybe stuck and needs help sorting out the challenges in their lives. I also work as a Clairvoyant and give readings in many different ways. Contact me on 672 994 666 or lovieart@ gmail.com More info on www.liana.lovie.com

Until next week, LIANA MẼ ALY AH

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS I am Spiritual agony aunt, and will answer any concerns or questions anyone may have about their difficulties in life or curiosity into the spiritual field. Or if anyone wants to give me topics to discuss here, please contact me, liana@tenerifeweekly.es

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Weekly Horoscopes

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Sing a new song when the Moon enters your sector of self on Tuesday. It’s a great time to spruce up your image. A financial endeavor may run into trouble on Wednesday. Consider asking an expert for economic advice. A loved one could be grumpy on Thursday. Don’t let another’s negative attitude bring you down. Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Issues with an authority figure may flare up on Monday. This person might try to dictate your actions! You could decide to walk down memory lane on Tuesday. Remember, it isn’t wise to idealize the past. A life-changing event might occur on Wednesday. Get ready to walk down a new road. Gemini May 21 - June 20 Take pride in your accomplishments on Tuesday. Don’t be afraid to look in the mirror and smile. A hidden matter may finally come to light on Wednesday. You’ll discover the real truth regarding a certain situation. Your intuition will be spot on target on Saturday. Pay attention to your sixth sense, especially when meeting new people. Cancer June 21 - July 22 Cut a friend some slack on Monday. No one’s perfect, not even you! Wanderlust will be strong on Tuesday. The same routine is getting stale. Visiting a new locale will recharge your batteries. Duty will call when your ruler Moon opposes Saturn on Thursday. A loved one will need all of your attention.

Emergencies Emergency services (all) National Police Local police Ambulance Fire Brigade Guardia Civil

112 091 092 061 080 062

Pharmacy information and locator (24 hours) 922 282 424 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

Tour operators Cosmos 922 793 802 Thomas Cook 922 757 409 Thomson 922 798 607 TUI 922 777 720 Transport

Buses

TITSA

(Tenerife’s public bus company)

922 531 300

The “Bono-Bus” discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%

Radio taxis

922 641 112 922 747 511

Note: taxi cabs display a “SP” (servicio público) plate on the rear of the car.

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) For flights from Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights

Flight information 902 404 704 (line open 24 hours)

Leo July 23 - Aug 22 Listen closely to office gossip when Mercury trines Pluto in your job sector on Monday. You’ll hear important news by keeping your ears open. Dust off your dreams on Tuesday. Don’t give up on achieving a cherished goal. Exercise caution while playing sports on Wednesday. Wear a helmet if you ride a bicycle. Pamper yourself on Saturday. Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22 A project may go on hold on Tuesday. Don’t be discouraged! The timing isn’t right for this particular venture. Your life partner will be in an amorous mood on Wednesday. If you’re single, you might fall in love at first sight. You’ll be overflowing with pep when the Moon trines Mars in Virgo on Saturday. Libra Sept 23 - Oct 22 Frustration could be your middle name on Monday. Try to overlook life’s little annoyances. You may flipflop regarding a particular matter on Tuesday. Remember, it’s OK to change your mind! You’ll be eager to transform your lifestyle when Jupiter is quincunx Saturn in Libra on Wednesday. Get ready to embark on a journey of self-awareness. Temptation will be strong on Sunday. Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21 Communication with a close associate will be a breeze on Monday. You’ll share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Your sense of personal power will be strong when Mars trines your ruler Pluto on Wednesday. You’ll be ready to conquer the world!

Useful Numbers

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Have the courage of your convictions on Monday. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your beliefs. The opportunity to relocate may arise on Tuesday. Consider the matter thoroughly before calling the moving van. Avoid the casino on Wednesday. Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You may experience a life challenge when the Sun is quincunx Saturn, your ruling planet, on Monday. Chalk up the event as a learning experience. Health matters may need your attention on Tuesday. Consider calling the doctor for a checkup. Your imagination will soar on Friday. Aquarius Jan 19 - Feb 18 Watch your money on Monday. A salesperson might try to shortchange you in a transaction. An ex-partner will ask for a second chance when Venus turns retrograde in your love affair sector on Tuesday. If you’ve already moved on, say so! Your humanitarian side will kick in on Friday. You’ll offer to help someone in need. Banish self-doubt from your mindset on Saturday. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Your patience will be in short supply on Monday. Try to breathe deeply when you’re stressed. The urge to win a contest will be overwhelming on Wednesday. Don’t abandon your ethics for a trophy. Daydreaming will be your main activity when the Moon sextiles Neptune in Pisces on Friday. You’ll spend hours gazing at the clouds.

Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office)

902 003 121

Airport information 922 759 000 Tourist information 922 392 037

Multi-lingual police central office 902 102 112

TFN - Tenerife North Airport

Local police

For all domestic flights and some international and mainland services

Red Cross Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

(Los Rodeos)

Flight information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General information 922 635 800

National Ferry Services Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252 Tourist offices Costa Adeje 922 750 633 El Médano 922 176 002 La Laguna 922 631 194 La Orotava 922 323 041 Las Galletas 922 730 133 Los Cristianos 922 757 137 Los Llanos de Aridane 922 401 899 Playa de las Américas 922 796 668 Playa de las Vistas 922 787 011 Puerto de la Cruz 922 386 000 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 289 394 Santiago del Teide 922 860 348

Call this number and ask for an English operator to make an official report or complaint.

922 757 006

Hospitals & Medical centres 094 Hospital Las Américas, Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022 Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000 Irish Consulate 922 745 671 British Consulate Address: Plaza Wayler, 8, 1o, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 286 863 Opening hours: Mon-Fri, 8:30am - 1:30pm British Consul: Matthew Vickers British Vice-Consul Helen Keating

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 PETS’ PAGE

Pets’ Corner Acción del Sol’s weekly news

There are many dogs at Acción Del Sol that are classed as dangerous dogs, and naturally they are very hard to re home, but fortunately last week two have found new homes. The new owners had to obtain their dangerous dog licence before being allowed to adopt the dogs. If you have a dangerous dog then it is a legal requirement that you hold a dangerous dog’s licence. Your first step is to go to the SAC office at your local town hall and request a form known as Solicitud de Inscripcion en el Censo de Animales Domesticos Y/O Potencialmente Peligrosos. You will need various papers, such as your NIE and passport and your dog´s micro chipping evidence, etc. The document is in Spanish, so you will ideally need to speak Spanish or have an interpreter with you. Next, surprisingly, you have to take yourself to your local centro médico and have a medical, which will determine if you are fit to keep a potentially dangerous dog (eyesight, blood pressure, reactions, etc) and why you want one. You will also be asked to take a questionnaire with 60 questions. This is the main cost involved, at 53 euros. You also need a veterinary certificate stating your dog has a clean bill of health, and you. A visit to the Mapfree building in Santa Cruz is also necessary to obtain a certificate which will eventually be returned to you confirming you have no criminal record. If you do, you will not be allowed to get a licence. You need to take out dog insurance with a minimum cover of 120,000 euros (on your house insurance or a separate policy) and will

Useful Numbers Dog & Cat Grooming 628 859 973

If you find an abandoned dog

Arona - 010 Everywhere else – 112 24 Hour Vets Fanabe 617 483 707 El Medano 607 346 183 Playa San Juan 922 832 344

need to sign and complete another form from the SAC (Peticion de Antecedentes Penales de Registro Central de Penados y Rebeldes). I took my insurance out with Tenerife Insurance Services 922735321 and I found them most helpful. Eventually, you take all the papers, micro chipping document, inoculation verifications etc back to the SAC and you will receive a preliminary certificate. Subject to all the paperwork being correct, your licence will be issued in a month or so. This does sound complicated but it’s not as bad as it seems and it’s much better than having a large on the spot fine. You might think you would never be stopped, but the police everywhere are being more vigilant about this problem and do conduct spot checks. The dog must always be on a short lead and be muzzled at all times.

Acción Del Sol’s busy educational programme continued this week with children visiting from “CEIP Charco del Pino” and from “ Parque De La Reina “ : Acción Del Sol firmly believes in educating children in animal welfare to help to make Tenerife a more animal friendly island and to ease some of the horrific cases of animal cruelty that the refuge frequently witnesses.

Please call 922 778 630 for more information or if you would like to help out in anyway, towels and blankets are

Welcome to Tenerife Weekly’s Pets’ Page

My name is Steph and some of you may have heard me on Coast FM each Thursday when I try to find good homes for fantastic pets. Each week this page will be filled with both useful and entertaining information to keep you up to date with the world of pets here in the Canaries.

Paws for Thought:

This week a Cocker Spaniel is in desperate need of a new home. Having been dumped in a barranco, and forced to suffer some horrible treatment, he is now in the safe hands of a kind volunteer who is looking after him until a home is found. He is around seven years old and a fantastic pet for anybody who takes him. If you can help please call 671 362 138

always needed for the dogs if you have any to spare. They would be very much appreciated by our four legged friends. The refuge is situated at Poligono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are and it is open to the public Monday - Friday 3-6pm.

The Little Dogs’ Home

What a week it has been for The Little Dogs’ Home. Several dogs have found new homes, including Simba, who was mentioned in one of my first articles. He was abandoned when the owners made a hasty retreat back to England. They had two adorable little dogs, which were left in a house up in Charco del Pino. The poor creatures were infested with ticks; leaving them in a dreadful state and close to death. Now in good health they are awaiting a new home. Shouldn’t be long though; as they are a fantastic pair. Chris also offers a removal/delivery service now and he and his van can be hired out in return for a donation to the refuge. If you can help, or would like to enquire about anything, they can be contacted on 672 917 193.

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012

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gardening

Plant Feeding:Application S o i l

Remember that plant foods can only be absorbed by roots when there is sufficient moisture present in the soil. If the plants are dry, apply clear water before feeding with either solid or liquid plant foods. Apply the right amount, don’t add extra for luck. The application rate has been worked out to give maximum benefits. Overdosing is wasteful and could harm your plants.

By hose-end feeder Soluble plant foods can be watered over large areas easily and quickly with modern devices such as the Miracle-Gro Feeder. The plant food is dissolved in the container and gradually picked up and further diluted by the water jetting through the hose. By hand Check the recommended rate before you start. Weigh the amount in your own ‘handful’ on kitchen scales to see how this compares with the recommended application rate. Spread the plant food over the prescribed area and then rake in. Wash your hands after application. Through a watering can

clean out the hopper after each use to prevent corrosion. The advantages of controlled release plant foods These smart plant foods are clean and convenient to use – proving a steady release of plant nutrients from one application. In warm weather when plants are growing faster, more plant foods are released. If temperatures go down, slowing plant growth the

release of nutrients is reduced in line. You can buy loose granules such as Controlled Release Plant Food for application to soil around trees, shrubs and flowering plants. All Purpose Continuous Release Plant Food Tablets or Controlled Release Plant Food Tablets are high in potash and contain magnesium and trace elements for insertion below the surface of the compost in hanging baskets, pots, tubs and other containers.

Understand your soil and you are halfway to gardening success. Soil acts as an anchor for plant roots and holds air, water and plant nutrients which are essential for continued plant growth. The key problem types of soil Clay soils: Although clay soils hold nutrients well, they are heavy, slow to warm up and tend to be too wet (sticky) in the winter and too dry (rock hard) in the summer. The key to improving these soils is to break up the mass, and increase aeration and drainage by adding composted soil conditioner to achieve a crumb-like texture. Silty soils: Silt particles are extremely fine and tend to rise to the soil surface forming a water-resistant crust when dry. Adding soil improver will help with the structure and allow water to penetrate. Sandy soils: These are very light, easily eroded, dry and lack substance and the ability to hold water or nutrients. Soil improvers help to retain moisture and nutrients before they leach away. Dig in organic matter Regular applications of organic matter will improve soil structure and provide reservoir for water, beneficial organisms and plant nutrients. You can buy fresh bags of Organic Blend Top Soil or Organic

Blend Farmyard Manure. Or you can try to make garden compost yourself in a compost heap. Remember to dig in any compost from spent growing bags, patio pots and hanging baskets once they are finished.

Mulch the surface A thick layer of organic matter (called a mulch or bark) left on the surface will help to retain soil moisture, suppress weeds and insulate plant roots. The best mulch for the garden should be attractive too. Try Water Saving Decorative Bark or Moisture Control Natural Pine Bark. Each will provide an attractive surface that adds a decorative and useful finish to flower beds, around the base of trees and along the edges of paths.

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

Make sure you use a watering can that has not been used previously for weedkillers unless it is thoroughly washed out and rinsed several times. Fill with clean water from the drinking tap or water butt and then add the amount of plant food prescribed on the pack or bottle. Stir thoroughly until dissolved and then water the soil around plants. By spreader

5 8 9 2 7 6 3 4 1

2 4 6 7 9 8 1 5 3 1 9 8 3 5 2 7 6 4 5 7 1 2 4 3 9 8 6 3 6 4 9 8 1 5 7 2 9 8 2 5 7 6 3 4 1 6 3 5 4 1 7 8 2 9

6 3 1 4 9 8 5 7 2 9 5 4 1 2 7 6 3 8 8 1 7 5 6 3 4 2 9 2 6 3 8 4 9 7 1 5 4 2 8 6 3 5 1 9 7 3 9 6 7 1 2 8 5 4

4 1 7 8 2 9 6 3 5

1 7 5 9 8 4 2 6 3

8 2 9 6 3 5 4 1 7

kindly submitted by Tim Fells

A little tougher

7 4 2 3 5 1 9 8 6

7 5 3 1 6 4 2 9 8

Apply at the right time Plants need feeding just prior to their start into growth or while they are actively growing. For most plants this in the spring when new leaves, stems and flowers are being produced and during the summer.

An easy one

Br ai n

Tr ai n

1. The de Havilland ‘Comet’ 2. Large Hadron Collider 3. Adam 4. Cinderella Castle 5. Nicosia (Cyprus) 6. Swan Lake

Treating large areas of lawn is easy if you can use a mechanical spreader with wheels. It will give more even application than by hand and is quick to treat large areas. Follow the instructions for settings carefully and

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 advertisment

Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 FOOD

Welcome to Karoline’s Kitchen I turned 40 last year and had a wonderful birthday with family and friends. A few months before my birthday my friends and family started to ask what gift I would like to celebrate my 40th. I came up with the idea of each person giving me their favourite recipe, their favourite recipe book or even a secret family recipe. My mum thought this wasn’t a very good idea as she

From My Mum

A B o i l e d F r u i t C a ke

1 1 1 4 2 1

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cup of sugar cup of dried mixed fruit cup of milk oz margarine cups of self-raising flour egg

said people would prefer to give a gift, so I thought nothing more of my recipe idea. On the morning of my birthday I opened a rather large parcel and inside was a handmade recipe book from my parents who had managed to contact, new friends, old friends and all family members; and had built up a wonderful recipe book with everyone’s favourite meals inside. So I am sharing some of those recipes with you.

on gas mark 5 for approx 1 hour or until you place a knife in the middle and it comes out clean. Let it cool and share with friends.

From my Mother-In-Law, Joyce 500g chicken livers 100g butter A little flour for coating Rice, peas and sweet corn for the amount of people you are serving

Bring sugar, milk, fruit and margarine to the boil in a saucepan. Simmer for 5 minutes and leave to cool in the pan for 1/2 hour. Add the flour and beaten egg and mix well. Place mixture into a 7” deep cake tin. Cook

From my Aunty Brenda

Salmon Fishcakes with Fresh Salsa

150g cooked mashed swede 150g cooked mashed carrot 1 beaten egg 1tsp mustard powder 1tbsp fresh parsley 250g tinned red salmon Packet of breadcrumbs Mix together all of the ingredients, apart from the breadcrumbs, in a bowl. Be gentle when mixing as you don’t want the salmon to break down too much. Shape into 4 large fish cakes or 8 small ones. Dip into breadcrumbs and ensure that the

fishcakes are covered all over. Place on a lightly greased oven tray and bake in a pre-heated oven for 20 minutes at 180 degrees, gas mark 4. To make the fresh salsa you will need the zest and juice of one lemon or lime, 6 chopped spring onions, 12oz fresh tomatoes, 1/2 tsp dried chilli flakes or chop one small fresh chilli, 1/2 tsp ground coriander and 1/2 tsp of ground cumin. Chop tomatoes and add the rest of the ingredient and mix well. Leave for atleast 1/2 hour to marinate and serve alongside the freshly cooked fishcakes.

OMG, How Hot IS IT !!!! With summer finally here it’s time to turn my thoughts to some chilled dishes, and the BBQ of course.....

Courtesy of Casa Tres’ 922 71 66 27- Send me your feedback at: food@tenerifeweekly.es”

Gazpacho

Hang on, cold soup? Yes. This refreshing dish, with a hint of chilly, born in Andalucía makes a welcome dish with a hot, crusty roll of garlic bread. 8 lrg Beef tomatoes Peeled seeded and finely chopped

50ml red wine vinegar 50ml olive oil 1/2 lemon juiced 3 teaspoons of honey Tabasco....easy does it 6-8 drops should be enough 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Salt & Pepper to taste 1 litre tomato juice To garnish Chopped fresh Parsley Chopped chives Chopped basil small onion diced 1/2 cucumber peeled seeded and diced Small red pepper seeded and diced 1 celery stalk diced 2 cloves of garlic fine minced. Combine the wet and dry ingredients and chill overnight.. mmmmmmmmm

Have a great week cooking and if you have any recipes that you wish to share or any tips or family cheats then get in touch by email on; karoline@tenerifeweekly.es Until next time,

Karoline Shovlar

Fried Chicken Livers

Boil rice and add the cooked peas and sweet corn. While the rice is cooking, place the flour on a plate and season to taste. Roll each chicken liver in the seasoned flour and put to one side. Heat the butter in a frying pan until it starts to brown slightly. Add the livers and cook for about 5 minutes each side. Add more butter if it seems a little dry. Serve the rice on a plate and place the cooked livers on top of the rice.

And, of course, a yummy alcoholic pud from my best buddy, Emskie 4oz meringue, roughly broken 1 tbsp caster sugar 2 tbsp brandy 1/2 pint double cream Raspberries or strawberries for decoration

Take out of the freezer 15 minutes before serving and turn out onto a plate and decorate with the soft fruit.

Whisk the cream until stiff and stir in the brandy and caster sugar. Fold in gently the broken meringue, taste and add more sugar or in my case when I make this pudding more brandy. Pour mixture in a lightly oiled 1 pint pudding bowl, cover and place in freezer. I sometimes line the pudding bowl with cling film it works just the same.

B B Q C h i c ke n w i n g s w i t h T z a t z i k i Allowing 8 wings per portion 4 table spoons fresh grated ginger 25ml sherry 25ml white vinegar 3 tablespoons sesame oil 25ml honey 50ml dark soya sauce 3 cloves of garlic crushed 1 whole chilli chopped (leave the seeds in for extra heat) Salt & pepper

Take a fork and prick the skin on the chicken Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and marinade overnight . Cook on the top shelf of the BBQ. Serve with some Greek Taziki. Tzatziki Whole cucumber; peeled, seeded, grated and drained. 4 gloves minced garlic, Fresh Dill, Greek yogurt (Natural yogurt will substitute), 1/2 lemon juiced, Salt, Pepper

You Scream, We Scream. We all Scream for Ice Cream!

1 Litre Double whipping cream 300g Cream Cheese 4 Eggs 125g White Sugar 20ml Baileys Flavouring....... Rum & Raisins Chocolate & Mint Pecan & Countreau Malibu & Coconut The list is only limited by your mind

1st Semi whip the cream and set aside 2nd whip the egg yolks and 25g of sugar until smooth

3rd whip the egg whites and 100g of sugar to stiff peaks Add all to the baileys and fold together. To flavour the ice cream add whatever tickles your fancy. Freeze overnight in a sealed container, enjoy on these paradise hot days.

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 TECHNOPHILE

Downloading Music Illegally: Playing The Piracy Game

Downloading music for free from the internet used to be so easy, but things are now starting to change. Here’s what you need to know...

Ever downloaded without paying? Well it’s time to start worrying because it’s not the simple free-for-all it was once when it comes to packing your iPod and computer with music. From SOPA shutting down Megaupload, to the closing of file-sharing network Limewire and the courtroom battle with Pirate Bay, the nature of nicking music now has its serious risks. Whether you have been downloading albums for years or thinking about giving Spotify or the iTunes Store a miss in favour of some audio freebies, here’s the current state of play with online music piracy. How much illegal downloading goes on? Plenty. Almost three-quarters of all songs downloaded are illegal transactions, according to music-biz association the BPI’s Digital Music Nation report. Thanks to small file sizes, music has suffered more than movies from internet piracy. However, if you’ve got tracks on your hard drive downloaded from shady sites or pernicious peer-to-peer networks, it may be the time to begin a little light fretting; it’s not just Megaupload and The Pirate Bay that are facing the music… Am I breaking the law? “If you’ve ever downloaded a song without the copyright owner’s permission, you’re guilty of copyright infringement,” says Michael Coyle, a solicitor advocate specialising in copyright at Lawdit solicitors. If you see free downloads offered, but aren’t sure whether they could lead to a trip to the slammer, head to Pro-music.org to see a list of accredited sites. But as you can probably work out for yourself, if you’re not paying, chances are you’re law-breaking. But music copyright does expire though, right? Yes it does, just as it does with books – hence Seth Graeme-Smith was able to “remix” Jane Austen’s classic into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies without facing legal redress. Seventy years after the author’s demise, anyone is free to own the musical fruits of their labours. So stick to top pop hits by musicians who’ve been dead for more than 70 years, and you’ll be untouchable. Um, except in certain cases where that rule doesn’t apply. Simple as that. How could they catch you? The BPI can go straight to your internet service provider and demand the names of anyone downloading illegally. And if you do get caught, pretending you slipped and did it by accident isn’t going to cut it. “There are no defences,” says Mark Stephens, a lawyer at FSI who advised Julian Assange in the Wikileaks extradition proceedings. “It’s an out and out offence, there’s no way out of it.” Not even blaming it on your two-year-old niece? “The only possible excuse is someone else was using your computer,” says Coyle, “and then you’re still culpable.” Bugger. But everyone’s at it Surely no one gets caught? “The chances of getting caught are low, if you’re downloading in a limited way,” says Stephens. “They tend to prosecute those downloading on an industrial scale.” But don’t feel too smug – the music industry

needs scapegoats, and that’s where average punters come in. “The serial offenders are rarely caught, because they’re more adept,” says Coyle, “so it does tend to be normal people hauled through the courts to make an example and deter others.” And the bad news? The record labels and the BPI have been getting more active of late. What kind of punishments are meted out? “Typically, if an album is worth £9.99, you’d be asked to pay £9.99 in damages,” says Coyle. “But if it went to court, it’d have to be heard in a copyright court, and then the lawyers’ fees would cost you upwards of £15,000.” Hence lots of people pay up before it gets to court. If you start uploading tunes for others to download, that’s when things gets really real. British copyright law is among the strictest in the world and you could face civil actions for thousands of pounds of damages under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, amended by Copyrights and Trade Marks (Offences and Enforcement) Act 2002. You could also face criminal charges, leading to hefty fines and even imprisonment. At a magistrates’ court, fines of up to £5,000 or six months in the nick could be handed out, but the worst cases go to the Crown Court, which can impose an unlimited fine or bang you up for 10 years: which is a long time to rue not paying for that REM “best of”. What’s the procedure for being prosecuted? It follows the Civil Procedures Rules. “They send you notice in writing, and give you 28 days to stop infringing,” says Coyle. “If you don’t respond they might send you one more letter. Ignore that, and the next thing through your letterbox will be a claim form.” That means court or a nasty bill for you, sonny Jim. And things could soon be worse, much worse... SOPA is America’s Stop Online Piracy Act. It says that anyone caught streaming copyrighted content, including music; ten or more times in the space of six months should face up to five years in jail. So that’s nice. The Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA) is its international equivalent and could soon be a cornerstone of EU law. It aims to create universal laws for file sharing online and, again, the notion of jailing people for listening illegally is being bandied about. Both proposals could also lead to websites of any kind – not just file-sharing sites specifically – being shut down just on suspicion of torrenting-based naughtiness, which has clear implications for online freedom of speech.

‘Day Maker’ Alarm Clock Brings Toaster Popping Fun to an iPhone Dock

When you think of alarm clocks, you generally don’t imagine something that brings joy or whimsy to your life. No, an alarm clock is typically something you want to throw against the wall each morning. But now a company called Habitco has merged traditional alarm clock functionality with the iPhone, and thrown in a bit of toaster action as well. The result is the Day Maker, a piece of hardware we’d never want to slam against our walls. Pop your iPhone into the top of the Day Maker before you hit the hay. When your alarm goes off the next morning, your iPhone pops back up like a piece of freshly toasted bread. If you want to snooze, just pop your iDevice back into the slot so you can get some extra zzz’s. “I remember waking up with my iPhone and using the snooze function. I’d always turn it off and it drove me insane,” Habitco founder and maker Michael Kritzer told Wired. “We wanted to create something that you can interact with that has positive connotations. That’s why Day Maker pops: It’s a positive affirmation of the morning.” And while it’s not quite the same as

throwing something across the room, users should receive a certain Whack-A-Mole-like satisfaction from popping their phones back into the dock. “What we’re trying to do is make products that establish new habits and experiences that create joy,” Kritzer said. The Day Maker comes in two variations. One will dock two iPhones or iPod touches, while the other is a “single slice” model for just one iDevice. On the front is a speaker grille and a self-setting analogue clock. It’s designed to work with the iPhone’s clock app, or with Habitco’s own alarm app, which will be coming this autumn.

Diablo 3’s Starter Edition has been confirmed by Blizzard. The Starter Edition will provide a limited introduction to the game with similar content to the game’s private beta, which had previously leaked the Starter Edition’s existence. Players will be able to select any of the game’s five classes and complete Act 1 up to the Skeleton King boss encounter. There will be a level cap set at level 13, and users will not be able to participate in multiplayer with others playing the full game, instead limited to matchmaking with other Starter Edition players. Users will also not be able to access real money auction houses in the Starter Edition. For the first 30 days after Diablo 3’s release the Starter Edition will only be available through a guest pass code. Guest passes will be included with the full version of the

game to be handed out to friends. After 30 days have passed, on 14th June, the Starter Edition will unlock and become available to all users. Users will have the option to upgrade from the Starter Edition to the full game through the account settings in their personal Battle. net account.

‘Diablo 3’ Starter Edition Confirmed

Router Playing Up?

up. And a reboot normally sorts them out. The best way to keep them going is just to switch them off at night (you could use a time Some computers are required to run switch). When they boot up in the morning all day every day - or as the Americans they are refreshed and ready to face another say, “24/7”. Most of these computers day! are servers (the ones that form the Sometimes Routers can be affected by Internet) and don’t run the domestic electrical storms or other factors that cause versions of Windows. In fact most of spikes through the mains supply. They only them don’t run Microsoft at all, they have cheap and basic power supplies which run Unix/Linux. can’t stop spikes like the Tip: That’s because the bigger PC PSUs can. If you’re using Telefonica, domestic versions of The all-powerful IT the standard settings are: Windows won’t run 24, solution of “Have you Encapsulation: PPPoE let alone 24/7, without tried switching it off VPI / VCI: 8/32 needing a reboot to then switching it on clear accumulated errors User name: adslppp@telefonicanetpa again?” definitely applies Password: adslppp from memory and start to Domestic Wireless afresh. Modem Routers. Even servers will eventually need a reboot Sometimes, if that doesn’t work, they can there are always bugs that will cause problems be sorted out by resetting to factory defaults to accumulate until they start misbehaving. (it’s one of the options in the Router control Routers are computers too, and although settings). But, before you do that, make much simpler, they also need a reboot now sure that you write down the settings that and again. Domestic Wireless Modem Routers you will need to reinstate (ADSL user name are sometimes left on permanently, but in our & password, wireless channel and encryption experience they will eventually start playing settings).

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CLASSIFIED Established Marketing Company in Torviscas Alto is looking for Romanian, Slovakian, Czech, Polish and Bulgarian staff with some spoken English to work in marketing office. Must be self-motivated and work as a team Some computer knowledge an advantage. Basic wage and excellent commission Tel Sue on: 922 713 070 or 686 154 066 Or email your C.V. to: suecampbell@regencyresorts.com

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FREE ADS Ladies Town Bike. 18 Speed. Good Condition. 65 Euros. Unisex Adult Folding Bike. 3 Speed Shimano gears. 40 Euros. Wall mounting bracket for large LCD flat TV. 20 Euros. Tel: 600 700 521

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Outdoor summer fun for small kids, hard plastic double animal seal SEE-SAW, 30 euros. Genuine JUICY COUTURE, baby pink terry towelling cute summer dress for 12 - 18month old, 13 Euros. Genuine matching JUICY pink knickers with BIG “JUICY’ on back for 12 - 18 months, 2 euros. Genuine ESCADA, black long sleeved pretty top with sequin, size 12 - 18 months, 8 euros. Tommee Tipee Manual breast pump, with box and instructions, 5 euros. Selection of small/med sized MATERNITY clothes Zaras maternity skinny style black jeans, 8 euros, Zaras Blue maternity denim skirt, 5 euros etc Buyer to collect from Fañabé area. 922 716350 or 616 425074

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Elegant 3 plus 2-seater sofa in gold and black stripe with many matching cushions. vgc 250€ Brand new chaise longue in beige cream striped fabric 275€ was 600€ 185cm high dark blue fridge freezer good condition 100€ Zero gravity laser remote control car Airhogs cost 75€ now 40€ still in box Roboraptor remote control T Rex never used only 25€ was 90euro Glass topped table with grey trim, 6 chairs with cushions (chairs not great condition but table is) 100€ Outdoor or indoor table in blue metal with ceramic top and 6 chairs vgc 120€ Playmobil Egyptian pyramid as brand new 40€ Mambo 1-man kayak 150€ Can deliver call 922 729329 or 629501342

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MOTORING

Jaguar XF Spor tbrake Vs. BMW 5 Ser ies

Find out how it measures up to its closest rival, the BMW 5 Series Touring.

The Jaguar XF Sportbrake will take the firm into new territory when it goes on sale in September. It’s the company’s first estate since the X-Type was discontinued in 2009, and is intended to bring the XF to a broader audience. The Sportbrake’s extended roofline allows more headroom for passengers in the rear than in the XF saloon, and if you fold the back seats, the 550-litre boot space can be increased to 1,675 litres. The BMW’s load capacity is virtually identical – it offers 560 litres or 1,670 litres with the seats folded. But both cars are beaten for space by Mercedes’ E-Class Estate, although the XF trumps the Merc with an internal loading width and length of 1,065mm and 1,970mm respectively. The Sportbrake’s tailgate features a softclose electric hinge as standard and can be electrically powered if you pay more – just like the BMW. And both feature a pair of rails in the boot floor to accommodate a raft of nets and dividers. Wayne Burgess, Jaguar’s lead exterior designer, said: “We tried to make the loading space as luxurious as the rest of the car. That’s why you’ll find deep carpeting in the boot, ambient lighting and a gorgeous stainless steel plate on the boot lip. Your dog is going to love it in there.” Mechanically, both cars are remarkably similar. Both have an eight-speed automatic gearbox, plus air-

suspension with a self-levelling function at the rear (which is standard on the BMW, but an option on the Jaguar). On the outside, the XF looks sportier than the more reserved BMW. The ornate styling will have widespread appeal: the estate offers a wow factor that blends perfectly with the XF’s front end. The detailing is impressive, too, with LED lights all round and gloss black C and D-pillars paying homage to the flagship XJ saloon. Inside, both cars are covered in leather, but the Jaguar has more visual flair, with its knurled chrome gear selector and brushed aluminium surfaces. The BMW announces itself with less fanfare, but still has a topclass finish. The 5 Series offers quality surfaces and switchgear, with clean instrumentation and the excellent iDrive system. There are also pleasing touches like a head-up display – you can’t get this in the Jag – while the seats are better bolstered, too. The XF Sportbrake is likely to be offered with a choice of three diesel engines, each mated to an eight-speed automatic box. The 161bhp 2.2-litre is set to kick off the range; this offers tax-beating efficiency, with stop-start technology helping it to achieve similar figures to the saloon’s 52.3mpg fuel economy and 149g/km CO2 emissions. It will rival the 520d SE Touring, which has an 181bhp 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo

diesel delivering 57.6mpg and 129g/km of CO2. Drivers wanting more power can go for the 237bhp 3.0-litre V6 Sportbrake, although this has 18bhp less than its rival, the 530d, and will offer 44.8mpg and 169g/km CO2 emissions, compared to the BMW’s 51.4mpg and 145g/km. At launch, the new range is set to be topped by the XF S Sportbrake. This is expected to offer a 271bhp version of the

3.0-litre diesel, and will match the 308bhp 3.0-litre twin-turbo six-cylinder 535d Touring for torque, with both cars offering 600Nm. Yet the Jag is set to weigh less and should deliver similar performance, getting close to the 535d’s 5.5-second 0-62mph sprint time. The Sportbrake should carry a £3,000 premium over the XF, starting at around £33,000.

The Chevy Trax

Chevrolet has released a single picture of its new small SUV. The Chevrolet Trax will make its debut at the Paris Motor Show in September, and is set to rival the Nissan Juke and Skoda Yeti when it goes on sale early next year. The Trax has been built on the same platform as the Vauxhall Mokka and Corsa,

but has a much more rugged design to the Mokka concept shown at the Geneva Motor Show in March. The chunkier styling incorporates bulging wheel arches and the Chevrolet family grille. The Trax is expected to share the same engine line-up as the Mokka, which includes a 138bhp 1.4-litre petrol engine and a 128bhp 1.7-litre turbo diesel. Two and four-wheel drive versions will be offered. While no details have been announced, we expect the Trax to offer similar amounts of space to the Mokka and its US sister model, the Buick Encore. The Encore has a 533-litres boot and maximum luggage space of 1,372 litres with the seats folded. The Chevrolet Trax will go on sale in the first quarter of 2013, with prices expected to start from £15,000 (18,800 Euros.)

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 diy

Excellent & Easy Garden Storage Bench – Part 2 Welcome to part two of our easy guide to building a useful garden bench. Step 5: Put the sides together: Screw the side slats onto the legs Lay one front and one back leg on a flat work surface. Place the slats so that the edge of the slat is flush with the edge of the leg. You are going to put one screw in the top left corner of the slat and one screw in the bottom right corner of the slat first. That way you get each one nice and straight. The wood I used was soft and fairly thin, so I had to drill the holes before turning in the screws, otherwise it would crack. Once you have four screws in each slat, you will want to add two more screws to each one on the front edge of the back leg. Use the same template to make the marks, considering the edge of the back leg as the side edge. Or, if you are the kind of person who likes to just eyeball it, do that.

Step 6: Put the sides together: Attach the inside supports for the back of the seat Attach one of the 20-cm long supports to the inside of the back leg. The top of the support should be at the 42-cm mark, just like the top edge of the first side slat.

Step 7: Attach the front slats to the sides Pick which slats will face out Look at the front and back slats to figure out which side of each one should face out. The three nicest should be the front, the others the back. Mark your screw placements Line up the edge of your screw placement template not with the edge of the board, but with the edge of the leg behind it. You could make two more holes, but it’s not necessary. On the sides that are facing out, mark your screw placements. Attach the front slats Place the sides with the back legs against the ground and the sides facing out left and right. (should be a level surface!) Line up the boards and screw them in. The front boards cover the outward-facing edges of the side slats. Step 8: Attach the back seat support Take the 116.4-cm-long (2-seater) / 145 (3-seater) board and lay it along the back of the bench so that it sits on the front-facing edges of the back legs and on the inside support for the back of

the seat. The top edge of this piece should be flush with the top edge of the side slats and the support. Screw it in. These screws don’t show, so who cares where they are exactly. This piece will support the back of the seat lid.

Step 9: Attach the back slats Now you will turn the base over to screw in the back slats. Lift both sides at the same time when you turn it. If you lift one side first without the other, you risk twisting the structure and causing your screws to loosen or worse. Place the boards and screw them in. Don’t worry about the screw placement, just eyeball it. It won’t show. Now you can turn the bench upright. Holy cow! That’s starting to look like a thing!

Join us next week for part 3 of our project.

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sport

Euro 2012 - Ox and Ruddy Badalona Beckons for Go to Euros; Ferdinand Out CD Tenerife Promotion Push

Arsenal winger Oxlade-Chamberlain and Norwich City goalkeeper Ruddy are the two uncapped players named in Roy Hodgson’s 23-man squad which will be captained by Steven Gerrard. But Ferdinand’s 81-cap England career looks to have come to an end. The 33-year-old last featured for his country in the Euro 2012 qualifier against Switzerland in June 2011 with Hodgson confirming he has been omitted for “footballing reasons” Canaries custodian Ruddy, 25, is preferred to Scott Carson as back-up to Joe Hart by new manager Hodgson with Rob Green the other goalkeeper included. Ruddy, who is due to get married on 2nd June, has been given special leave by the FA to marry his partner Laura on the day England play Belgium in a friendly at Wembley. Tottenham’s PFA Young Player of the Year Kyle Walker is missing through

injury, but Hodgson has also excluded Manchester City’s Micah Richards, with Glen Johnson seemingly firstchoice right-back with Phil Jones as back-up. John Terry is included despite losing the England captaincy in February after being sent to a trial on 9th July, charged with racially abusing Queens Park Rangers defender and Ferdinand’s brother, Anton. He has pleaded not guilty and is likely to partner either Chelsea team-mate Gary Cahill or Manchester City title-winner Joleon Lescott in the heart of defence. The midfield quartet who

Well, we have reached the halfway mark in the season for “ The Wild Bull Coast FM darts league” and this Sunday saw a break for all our 2nd Division Teams as we head to the end of May with catch up day for all matches outstanding 20/5/2012 . Sunday 27th of May brings Competition day with the doubles KO 501 open in double out over at “NAUTA” starting 4pm; please make sure you register in advance. At the half way stage only one team remains undefeated; that’s Chipeque Nomads, with Sponsor Tony from “STARMAKER” rubbing his hands on the bet he has with the Captain, Rob and the team!!! Still a long way to go guys

played against Germany in the World Cup second round thumping - Gareth Barry, Frank Lampard, James Milner and Gerrard are all included as is Scott Parker despite the Spurs schemer missing the end of the season with an Achilles problem. There is no international return for Paul Scholes, but Manchester United team-mate Ashley Young is named and will compete for one of the wide berths with 18-year-old OxladeChamberlain, who has made just six Premier League starts, and fellow Gunner Theo Walcott.

Coast FM

let see what the rest of the season brings. In the First Division, Target B beat the Belgian beer bar 5-3. Again Belgian Beer Bar didn’t deserve to lose; we deserved at least 1 point of a draw. Rob started to get nervous when we came back from 2-0 down in the singles to 2-2. He wasn’t expecting this at all. The “lucky” part you need sometimes in a match wasn’t with us, so we lost 2- 0 in the 501 doubles. In the 901 doubles we won the first game and the 2nd 901 game could have brought us to a 4-4 draw, but it didn’t happen. We didn’t deserve to lose 9 points in 3 matches, life is not fair!!!..... But after all it was a very nice match and day. We all enjoyed it very much, as you can

1st Division

A lukewarm defeat, 2-1 to RSD Alcala, in the scorching heat of Santa Cruz failed to keep CD Tenerife from second place in their final league game last Sunday. The sporting gods were kind and Tenerife’s rivals all lost to ensure an away leg first at Badalona on the outskirts of Barcelona this Sunday. Hundreds of the blue and white faithful will make the journey, hoping not to trip up on the artificial pitch before the second leg of this first play off round in Santa Cruz on Sunday 27 May. You can always expect the unexpected from CD Tenerife; Alcalá should have been easily swept aside, but their desire was stronger as they needed points to avoid relegation. Key players missing through suspension and injury didn’t help the home cause, but at least they found a new local hero. Sandro started in midfield, despite only having a brief subs appearance before. It took him just 9 minutes to unlock Alcalá with a swinging free kick that

landed spot on the head of Aridane at the far post. The 9,370 crowd sizzled in the sun as they anticipated further goals. Plucky Alcalá hit back within 10 minutes, as Sicilia and Medina melted away in the centre of the home defence to give Alexander a clear shot that he stroked past Sergio, the Tenerife goalie. Sandro showed some more promising touches, but the midfield was too light without the injured Kitoko. Kike López had the best chance to restore the Tenerife lead in the second half with a chip that clipped

see on the photo (and a few more on face book), especially Rob was in 7th heaven………… Scampi Chris and the boys from Target believe Raf was watching another match. Chipeque travelled over to Meigas for a great afternoon, despite KDs elation over the football; well done guys, you

the crossbar, but everyone was aware of the helpful results elsewhere, and thoughts were turning to the play off battle ahead. Alcalá kept pushing and Tenerife couldn’t repel them; the inevitable happened after 74 minutes when Alexander reacted quickly to volley the winner. Alcalá erupted at the final whistle and danced with relief at their Houdini act. Tenerife can look forward to their own glory if they can play to their true form, but battling through the 16 team play offs will be a test of character as much as skill.

- Colin Kirby

deserved the win. Both “Our place” teams ran a close game eventually winning 8-0 with Apolo and Los Halcones respectively Joe” Our Place A” 180 & 106 finish - Sam Our Place 161 finish!!! He has the highest check out of the 1st div. at this moment.

Captains’ meeting: Monday 21/5/2012 starts 6.30pm at “Cosy Corner” Costa Del Silencio. See Ya there.

“The Wild Bull Coast FM Darts League” Results Division 1 Target B 5 – 3 Belgian Beer Bar Meigas 6 – 2 Chipeque Cosy Wanderers – Rood

(postponed by Cosy Wanderers) Our Place B 8 – 0 Apolo Los Halcones 0 – 8 Our Place A

2nd Division

Rank

Team

Played

Points

Rank

Meigas

Target A

Our Place B

Cosy Wanderers

Our Place A

Rood

Target B

Chipeque

Los Halcones

Apolo

Belgian Beer Bar

Team

Played

Points

Chipeque Nomads

La Central

Beesnees

El Candel de Abuela

Legends

Happy Gavines

Malabar

Beesnees´Hunnies

Cosy Cabrons

Nifty Nauta

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Tenerife Weekly - 18th May - 24th May 2012 SPORT

The Sports Scene With Peter Quilty

Hi Everyone. Well I don’t care even if you are not a football fan, and if you are like me, what an end to the season! One of the most exciting times in football and, sadly, whilst it was all going on I could not watch a thing. efore going to the Atlantis FM Radio I see a goal for QPR. Now Sparkey’s men Studio I thought; play this a bit safe, are not giving up without a fight. Fight? because I knew I would be going to my Who mentioned fight? Somebody must local watering hole after my show, which by have whispered into Joey Barton’s ear; all I the way is full of Red and Blue. So I put on get to see is the written commentary from a light blue polo shirt which has Red and the BBC, then Barton’s not happy to let his White Stripes on it, that’s it. Nice and neutral. Once in the studio at 2pm I got everything organised on the internet to follow all the games; good job I did. I use a site called Flashscore, which lights up when a goal is scored, also had the BBC Sport, Skysport, and ITV running so I didn’t miss a thing. Luckily the Scottish Football started a little earlier, so I could concentrate on the Premiership. Although the outcome up in Scotland has been known for the last month, it still had to go to the last match and, again what a match. Manager Neil Lennon heaped praise on five-goal Gary Hooper after Celtic finally got their hands on the Scottish Premier League trophy and ended their campaign in style with a 5-0 rout of Hearts. Hooper netted all of the goals, prompting Lennon to say: “It was a tremendous individual performance. He is a goal scorer, they are priceless but we want to keep him here and we will do our very best to do that” Hooper converted a penalty to complete a hat-trick before the interval and knocked in two more goals in the second half to take his tally for the season to 29. Celtic rebuffed approaches for the 24-year-old from Southampton in January and I would not be surprised if the club have to fend off more offers for their top scorer. It means Celtic finish the season 20 points ahead of rivals Rangers, who won 4-0 away to St Johnstone, thanks to team mates down (again). He is a hot head a Sone Aluko hat-trick and a Lee McCulloch and that’s putting it mildly, said the BBC. I strike just hours after a consortium, would have put it a little stronger than that, fronted by former Sheffield United chief but I am not on the BBC. I normally do 2 executive Charles Green, agreed a deal to sports updates during the course of the hour, trying not to interrupt the music, but buy the Ibrox club. (Fantastic News) In the day’s other game, third-placed with Flashscore going nuts and the Beeb Motherwell were beaten 2-0 at home by could not keep up, Twitter in melt down Dundee United, in fourth, with Johnny and Facebook alive and a funny smell in the Russell and Jon Daly scoring for the visitors. studio; could 5 o’clock come quick enough? So, 4 minutes past 3 the news finishes and Not on your Nelly. Just about to announce the first song on the playlist is underway that Man Utd had won the title when all hell and it’s a good job my producer and station lets loose. Flash Goal from City, but who?? Bitter rivals Man United were preparing to owner, Jon, (who hates football by the way) lift yet another league title with a 1-0 win had put the playlist together. Take a first look at Flashscore, Pete. Oh at Sunderland. Then deep into injury time, it my god, Spurs are 1 up and there’s more all went berserk. At 4.51pm City substitute and more and they just kept coming. I was Edin Dzeko headed an equaliser. At 4.52pm running out of ink in the pen, 19 goals in the final whistle blew at Sunderland. It’s still the first half with both Manchester teams Utd´s title. Oh No Its Not!! Flashscore again 1 up at half time, it looked like the outcome at 4.53pm; City’s Argentinian striker Sergio was to be City’s, but then again as someone Aguero fired City ahead and handed the once said; this is a game of 2 halves, and club its first league title in 44 years. I don’t believe this. What an end to the how right they were. Remember I am not watching this live and show. I did get a little carried away, so I was

told. Me get carried away over football, I don’t think so! I’m a Notts County Fan; the last time we won a trophy Dick Turpin pinched it from us on the way home. So, it was in the car and back to Callao for a pint and pick up the pieces from the boys. Well, I think you can imagine what I walked into, but that’s Football for you. Fantastic end; well done City, but I wonder if they would have been pouring champagne over Mancini if they had lost it. Perhaps, more than likely, trying to drown him in it. hat about the people who left early, thinking it was all over? Famously, Man United legend George Best left the Nou Camp stadium in Barcelona early during the 1999 Champions League Final when the Reds were losing 1-0 to Bayern Munich. In the dying embers of injury time, they scored twice, causing Bestie to jump out of a taxi and run to a TV shop to watch the coverage. And the punters who put late bets on, MANCHESTER City’s amazing comeback must have hit hundreds of punters in the wallet; with more than 400 gamblers backing rivals United to win the title at odds of 1/33. Bookies said it was the biggest day of football betting ever. In the second half Ladbrokes laid over 1,500 bets per minute on mobile phones. Ladbrokes’ David Williams said: “We’ve never known five minutes like it. “United fans got greedy. The smell of burnt fingers around Old Trafford is overwhelming.” Funnily enough, David, I know of 3 of them. Whoops!! Sadly though, poor old Bolton are the ones to go down with Wolves and Blackburn, but BOLTON refused to go quietly; as they were pushed through the relegation trapdoor by the most controversial goal of the season. Owen Coyle led the howls of protest as his team left the Britannia, convinced they were robbed of their top-flight status by a refereeing howler. The moment that will fuel Bolton’s sense

of injustice came in 13 minutes, as Stoke took the lead. The goal was a throwback to an era when forwards could shoulder charge goalkeepers into the net. That was exactly what Jonathan Walters did to Adam Bogdan, bundling the Bolton keeper and the ball over the line. I always remember as a kid watching Nat Lofthouse doing the same to Harry Gregg. On that occasion Bolton were on the offending side, of course. The harsh truth is the Trotters were not good enough over the course of the season to deserve another campaign in the Premier League. But Bolton chairman Phil Gartside has said that Manager Owen Coyle will stay. Coyle, 45, is a former Bolton player and took over from Gary Megson as manager at the Reebok Stadium in January 2010; guiding Wanderers to a final position of 14th in both of his first two seasons in charge. But with a number of serious injuries to contend with this term, Bolton could not escape the drop to the Championship. During the season they have had 15 trauma injuries, including four broken legs and, not forgetting, Fabrice Muwumba. So Saturday will see if Blackpool or West Ham will make it back, and Chelsea take on the Mighty Germans: another great weekend to look forward too. inally, to close this week, I have to say many thanks to the guys; Chris ´The Buzzin Blazer´ and Martin ´The Middlesboro Mauruder´for doing their predictions. Sadly Ronnie and Sandy never made it again to the starting post, both of the guys scored a very creditable 21 points to close the season with me bring up the rear with only 12 points. And to quickly change the subject, wasn’t it fantastic to see a new name on the F1 winner’s podium? Roll on the Euro and the Olympics. Till next time, enjoy.

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