Tenerife Weekly Issue 33 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly TENERIFE’S LOCAL FREE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

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Quantum Teleportation Race Heads For Space

25th May - 31st May 2012

Issue 33

See pages 2 & 3 for details

A team of European scientists have teleported photons a distance of 143 kilometres between two of the Canary Islands, setting a new distance record for a technology inevitably entangled with Star Trek lore. Unlike the science fiction media franchise where people are beamed from one place to another, quantum teleportation is all about sending information, encoded in photons without passing through a physical medium, a technique that makes for super secure communications. Scientists have been teleporting photons since 1997, mostly across optics labs. Teleporting over larger distances, however, has proven difficult since the principle that makes this all work, known as quantum entanglement, breaks down in optical fibres.

Continued on page 3

¡Feliz Día de Canarias!

Wednesday 30th May is Día de Canarias (The Day of the Canary Islands) It will be a public holiday in the Canary Islands on Wednesday. The event celebrates the islands’ culture and people. It also marks the anniversary of the autonomous Canary Islands Parliament’s first session, which was on May 30, 1983. Be aware that most Canarian-run businesses will closed during the celebrations. Join in the party!

Coast FM 106.6 South, 92.2 West, 89.4 North

CONTENTS

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 editorial & legal

3 11 12 14 16 19 34 35 36 37 39

LOCAL NEWS BUSINESS NEWS WORLD NEWS IRISH NEWS NATIONAL NEWS TV GUIDE TIME OUT SHOWBIZ OUT ON THE TOWN SHARPLES IN SESSION COMMUNITY

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40 HEALTH/BEAUTY/FASHION 42 WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE? 43 CALDERS CONFESSIONS 44 HOROSCOPES/LOCAL INFO PETS’ PAGE 45 GARDENING 46 FOOD 48 TECHNOPHILE 49 CLASSIFIED SECTION 50 52 MOTORING/DIY SPORT 54

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25th May

26th May

27th May

28th May

29th May

30th May

31st May

(Viernes)

(Sábado)

(Domingo)

(Lunes)

(Martes)

(Miércoles)

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Real Feel: 25oC

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Occasional rain

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Contributors

Editor in Chief

Production

Leah Farrell Editor Colin Taylor

design@tenerifeweekly.es Currencies Direct

Stephen Eade

editor@tenerifeweekly.es

Tenerife Weekly Office hours:

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Mon - Fri 922 790 388 09:00 - 14:00 • 15:00 - 18:00 While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make. The opinion of the owners or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors. The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Editor.

Carlos Hernández

Ken Cumming Liana Mẽ aly ah Pete Quilty Karen Clack Ray Wilde Steph Tufft Colin Kirby

Dave Michaels Phil West Janet Anscombe John Sharples Gordon King

Sales

922 790 388 sales@tenerifeweekly.es Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

Disclaimer

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Editorial

Hello readers, The French car giant, Peugeot, love making money from you once they have sold you a car. My production man, Steve, bought a new Peugeot 207 just under 2 years ago. Last week he tried to start the car and nothing happened. The battery was completely dead. Peugeot Las Chafiras then charged him 137 euros for a new battery and to re-set the on-board computer. This week Barry, from Bitter & Twisted, parked at Ikea (in the north of

Where is Wee Keeley?

Where does the time go here? It does not seem like 10 minutes since I was typing this section last week.. Another fantastic response to the issue 32 competition so we asked again if we could pick two lucky winners. This week congratulations go to Erica Oldbury and Peter Walker who are both coming to see the show on Sunday with their partners. Wee Keeley has snuck off and hidden somewhere else in the paper, so see if you can find him this week. If you can then call our office on 922

Facebook.com/TenerifeWeekly the island) and when he came out: same problem, battery completely dead. His car is also under two years old. When Steve contacted Peugeot España they said that the battery is not part of the guarantee, so there was nothing they could do. However when Peugeot Las Chafiras fitted both new batteries they happily gave them a one year guarantee… This is a cautionary tale; if you don’t want to be stuck with a 4-wheeled brick, check your warranty! Until next week, ¡cuídate! Colin Taylor 790 388 and tell us where he is. All the names will be put into the pot on Wednesday and the lucky winner will be given 2 free tickets for the following Sunday´s Decades Goes To Hollywood Dinner and Show... Happy searching.

Colin Taylor.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

Man Seriously Injured In Los Cristianos

A 60-year-old man is in hospital this with serious head and leg injuries after being knocked down in Los Cristianos on Wednesday evening (23 rd.) The accident occurred just after 8pm in Avenida Antonio Domínguez, the road that runs from El Camisón through the Andorra/Zentral Centre roundabout and down to the La Siesta hotel. Emergency services were called to the accident and after stabilising the man at the scene, they transferred him to Hospitén Sur in a serious condition.

Immigrants In Spain 8 Out of 10 Spaniards Against A Return To Public Smoking Almost eight out of ten Spaniards Feel More Integrated (78%) are against a return to smoking

According to the latest survey of immigrants carried out by the King Balduino Foundation and the Migration Policy Group, legal immigrants in Spain feel more integrated than those in Northern Europe thanks to the ease with which they can handle bureaucratic matters, like requesting residence permits or family reunification; find work and learn the language. Despite the recession, between 65 and 70% of immigrant surveyed in Spanish cities have jobs, but most say they are overqualified for their position, but working conditions make it hard for them to improve their training. The survey was carried out in 15 cities in seven European countries Germany, Belgium, Spain, France, Hungary, Italy and

Portugal - to investigate what kind of problems immigrants face when trying to integrate in their adopted country. Although immigrants in Spain were positive about their experiences in finding work or applying for a resident permit, and said they came across very little discrimination, they did complain about only being given temporary contracts. They said the language was easy to learn and particularly valued the Spanish classes available through integration programmes. On a Europe-wide basis, the survey showed that the most frequent problems in relation to the labour market were the amount of illegal work on offer in Southern Europe, and discrimination and lack of confidence in qualifications in Northern Europe.

in bars and restaurants and 82% feel it was the “right” decision to ban smoking in enclosed public places. These are just some of the findings of a survey conducted by the Spanish Society of Family and Community Medicine (Semfyc) on over 4,000 citizens in health centres across Spain, some of them smokers, some non-smokers and others former smokers. The data contrasts with recent calls for the relaxation of the smoking ban, “especially for revenue purposes,” said vice president of Semfyc, Ana Pastor, who has called on governments to “listen to the people”. The survey also showed that 37% of Spaniards believe that generic packaging - a simpler packet, without colours, logos or distinctive features - could decrease the attractiveness of cigarettes among adolescents. By contrast, a large majority (62%) of respondents believe that it would have little or no deterrent effect. 26% of those surveyed also wrongly believed that “roll-ups” were less harmful than regular cigarettes, a percentage that rises to 32% amongst the under-30s. The survey also explores how smokers’ habits

have changed a year and a half since the laws banning smoking in public places came into force. A massive 90% said they were “as likely” or “more likely” to go to public venues despite not being able to smoke there. Meanwhile, 20% say they smoke less at home, and smoking in the car has seen a similar drop (15%). 9% of smokers said they now smoked more often, and 46% said they smoked as much as before. Dr. Pastor said a decision to extend the smoking ban to private cars would be “a breakthrough” in terms of passive smoking, but “quite risky in terms of personal freedom”. The survey shows that 35% of smokers had tried to give up cigarettes in 2011, compared with 31% in 2010 and 25% in 2009.

Consumers Shun Orlando for Tenerife

Demand for long-haul destinations has taken a dip as holidaymakers looks to save money by staying closer to home, according to travel search website, Kayak. While searches for holidays to the southern coast of Spain have doubled this year, there has been a drop in demand for long-haul favourites New York, Los Angeles, Orlando and Asia. Kayak’s data was backed up by ABTA chairman John McEwan, who said longhaul destinations were

struggling because of high prices. Operators attending this week’s annual Barclay’s Travel Forum were confident demand for holidays would be at least as high this year as in 2011, despite the Olympic Games and the Diamond Jubilee, but the majority, 49%, agreed that Europe would see the greatest growth in traffic. Kayak said its search data revealed that consumers were looking for the closest destinations that offered guaranteed

sunshine, such as Tenerife, the Spanish costas, Turkey and Portugal. EasyJet UK director Paul Simmons told the Travel Forum that its budget flights to the Western Mediterranean, Turkey and Egypt were selling well, but he admitted 2012 would be “a challenging year”. Low Cost Travel Group chief executive, Paul Evans, said operators had benefited from Thomas Cook taking capacity out of the market, but he said margins were under pressure.

Continued From Page 1

This changed in 2010 when a team of Chinese scientists teleported information 10 miles through the air. Earlier this month, Technology Review reported the Chinese team successfully shattered their own record by teleporting photons 60 miles across a lake with the aid of a laser. The European team upped the ante, teleporting photons between La

Palma and Tenerife, a distance of 88 miles. For details on the techniques employed by the teams, check out Technology Review’s reporting on the Chinese and European teams, based on papers submitted posted on arXiv. org, a preprint server. Technology Review puts the race in perspective: The results sets up an interesting race

between east and west. These experiments are proof-of-principle runs for a much more ambitious idea - quantum teleportation to orbiting satellites. Since teleportation is the basis of more-or-less perfectly secure communication, the prize here is a global communications network that cannot be hacked, even in principle.

To launch the Special Events programme, we are having a Street Party on Tuesday June 5th starting at 12.00pm Midday. The afternoon will be hosted by our very own “queens”, Bitter & Twisted, with entertaining variety performances, and fun and frolics for all. Also featuring Marc Craig and the Ritmania Dancers, and Coast FM broadcasting live throughout the day’s events. Tickets for 30,00 Euros include a Diamond Service, Queen Size Banquet (see page 2) to include loads of your old favourite dishes from Blighty, your drinks and a fabulous Celebration Cake. Live coverage of the day’s events as they unfold in London will also be featured on our large screen televisions, a service at St Paul’s Cathedral followed by a Carriage Procession to Buckingham Palace and finally a Balcony appearance and Flypast, so you won’t miss a thing. There will also be a Super Raffle with a Diamond and a Cruise to be won.

To book your tickets please telephone 603 391 256 VIVO Treasure Island Avd Rafael Puig 7, (In Front of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

FREE PARKING

www.vivotreasureisland.com

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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local news

Doberman Attack in Veterinary Clinic

A dog has attacked a young woman in a veterinary clinic in Guía de Isora. The pet was there to undergo an ultrasound scan, but for unknown reasons, became scared and reacted violently.

The injured woman was initially treated at the health centre in the town, before being transferred to Nuestra Señora de la Candelaria hospital. The hospital has described the victim’s injuries as “servere”. Initial reports suggest that the woman is a relative of the veterinarian. When the vet tried to

administer an ultrasound scan, the dog, whose breed is not considered potentially hazardous in the current national legislation, became nervous and his first reaction was to bite the woman. The victim suffered facial injuries and is under observation in Santa Cruz.

Tourist Figures for April Show Alarming Drop

The Canarian Government is in consternation over April’s tourist figures, which have fallen 13.3%; a percentage that equates to 55,000 tourists fewer for these islands than in 2011. The Government said that it already expected a drop because of the reduction in air tariff subsidies and the economic crisis, but the figures were worse than anticipated. Is it even conceivably possible that the Government does not realise that its current campaign against touristic lettings has played a part, maybe even a large part, in the fall in visitors? I myself have had many enquiries from concerned tourists who believe that they are now “illegal”. I have also had many enquiries from owners who believe that their only recourse to avoid a fine of nearly 20,000 Euros is to remove their holiday offer from the internet. Are these politicians and bureaucrats remotely aware of the damage they are doing to these islands with this

“campaign to improve” Tenerife’s touristic offer? And how many more months of free falling tourist numbers will it take before they wake up? Quite a few, it seems, given that although the Government very

Man Seriously I n j u r e d A f te r Fa l l

A 45-year-old man, said to be a foreigner in Spain, is in hospital this after being seriously injured in a fall on Tuesday night. The incident happened just after 11pm in a bar in

recently rejected Ashotel’s call for exemption from the rise in IGIC, the hoteliers’ association is now calling for an extra tax on hotel accommodation. Let’s scare the holidaymakers away even more, why don’t we?

- Janet Anscombe

Drugs Seized En Route to Canaries

Calle Valencia, Torviscas, where the man received serious head injuries after falling from a terrace. Emergency services attended the scene and transferred him, in a serious condition, to Hospitén Sur.

Two Policeman Wounded in Los Cristianos

Arona local police have arrested a 27-year-old man as the alleged perpetrator of an attack on two law enforcement officers during Monday night (21st) in Los Cristianos. Apparently, the man, a Spanish national, tried to run over two officers after receiving a parking fine. He claimed that he shouldn’t have been fined and tried to drive into the officers as he left the scene. The incident occurred at 22:15 on Calle Barranquillo. A citizen requested the presence of police officers as a vehicle that was double-parked prevented him from leaving with his car. One of the policemen went to the offending car and began to write the ticket and order a grúa (crane) to remove the car to the impound lot. Soon after, a man arrived who identified himself as the owner of the illegally-parked car, and allegedly started an argument with the officer; saying, “I’ll take my car, but I’ll not be fined, I’m up to the hilt.” When the agent asked for the man’s documentation, the driver ignored him. The young man started the car and began to heavily rev the engine. When the police officer demanded that he change his attitude and stop the engine, the individual threatened him with the phrase: “Get out of the way before I drive over you.”

The defendant put the car in gear and drove forward while the agent was in front of the car. The policeman had to jump clear, but the car hit his knee; making him lose his footing and fall. Another policeman, on a motorbike, saw the drama unfold and gave chase after the vehicle sped off. At one point during the chase, the man stopped his car and reversed; backing over the officer, who received an injury to his elbow, while his bike was trapped under the offender’s car. It took a lot of effort by three local police officers to subdue the man,

because of his size, aggression and state of mind. The two injured officers had to receive medical attention, while the prisoner tried to break the screen of the police car, but failed. It was also discovered that the man had about 16 grams of hashish on his person. He was taken to the cells in the National Police Station in South Tenerife. Once in custody, police made him take a breathalyzer test, which yielded a rate of 0.34 and 0.35 milligrams of alcohol per litre of breath; while the maximum allowed for driving is 0.25.

A couple, travelling to Tenerife with their young daughters, have been detained in Huelva, Andalucía, after authorities discovered they were carrying illegal drugs. The Guardia Civil arrested the couple on public health grounds when 8.6 kilos of cocaine were found in their car as they were trying to board a ferry. The incident occurred last Saturday (19th), though details have just been released by the port authority. Specialised canine units found the stash while the car was travelling through a drug screening area. To verify their suspicions, the Guardia Civil held separate interviews with the two occupants, a man and a woman, residents of Valencia, who were traveling in the company of their two underage girls; as they intended to holiday in the islands.

Despite the apparent normality that the couple showed, disguising their intentions by travelling with two young girls, they could not prevent the drugsniffing dogs from finding the drug, even though it was perfectly hidden in the vehicle chassis and smeared with various substances to avoid detection by smell. Following the detention of the couple, the two daughters were supervised before the arrival of a relative, who could take care of them, while their parents were sent to the police cells in a centre of Huelva. “This is the second intervention of cocaine this spring, which suggests that this could be an open route of introduction of cocaine in the Canary Islands. Therefore counter-drug controls have increased; carried out both in Huelva and as the ships arrive in Tenerife,” a source said.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

The Youth - A Bridge Towards A World With An Incandescent And Amicable Future Jyoti Prakash Udhwani, Correspondant for the local Indian Community

The present is totally in connection or in lieu of the future: the present plus time is the future. Therefore, in conclusion, our present actions plus the time frame in which we do and achieve things together becomes the future world. The future though, is not a continuity of the present world - it can never be. The present world is being lived, cradled, destroyed and created through this given period of time, and what remains will be the future world - good or bad, created or destroyed. Therefore, the adage “today’s world is to be the future world” actually means today’s people and their contribution is that which is going to mould the world, its ways, and its life for the future. Today’s people may not remain and survive in the future, but the assumption is the children definitely will. As a conclusion, therefore, if we mould our children in terms of their attitudes, values, their ideas and ideals, then logically we expect a better and more furbished world of tomorrow and, as a result, a better scenario for the future world. In conclusion, we must strive now to mould the children to think correctly, to judge rightly, and have the fortitude to live up to those convictions. Let us start our journey from the most crucial stage in the life of the youth: the student life, as there seems to be a dichotomy in student’s attitudes about the time of education. They either consider it as a time of obligation, or a time in which every precious moment of their lives is seized by cruel professors with unreasonable demands, or just because they consider their student years as a license to unlimited freedom and decadence: the last and only time of their lives to have complete fun. Obviously student life is a time to enrich ourselves completely and thoroughly that whatever path in life we may choose, rest assured that we shall be prepared. It is all about bringing a discipline in ourselves, about having to make choices and being ready to stand up for the consequences brought about by these choices we make. It is all about taking responsibility for ourselves and organising our time and ourselves objectively. However, we don’t only study the academics of school, we should also study the practicality of how to become good citizens of our nations; we should also hand in hand learn the values of honesty and piety, and not to forget to rely on the experience of our parents and grandparents; after all experience is the best teacher. Apart from this, we should also have a basis for all these studies: the scriptures, as they are all filled with great wisdom and insight. They are all keys towards a divine life. All these scriptures have been written by different teachers at different periods of time to suit different types of students. Amid this diversity, the main focal point

is on the emphasis of creating a path that is best suited for a particular individual: the so-called “comfort level.” As rational beings; we have been gifted with the intellect to think, and therefore choose and decide for ourselves what we foresee to be more feasible for us. The scriptures serve as key to divine life, they teach us the values of being kind people, respect our parents, removing the “self” in all our actions; that is prioritising the benefit of others: primarily, thus, creating love in our hearts for everyone. It also gives us the opportunity to pick up wonderful valuable insights from life of noble men and women. These are life’s most important lessons. These are the lessons that will really open the doors for us in whatever we do and wherever we go. In the Hindu scripture we are further introduced to two types of knowledge, namely; Apara Vidya and Para Vidya. Apara Vidya is lower knowledge, meaning academic or professional knowledge. Literally speaking it is a knowledge of facts, figures and skills. Para Vidya, on the other hand, is higher knowledge or wisdom; it is basically spiritual knowledge, it is the understanding of depths and insights, it is the type of knowledge that will kindle our individuality and guide us throughout our lives. The former take us to the threshold of success and prosperity, while the latter; towards peace, joy and wisdom. In the Indian way of life, as per traditional norms, the first 25 years of a person’s life are the so-called “brahmacharya” years, or a time of abstinence: study and a time of total devotion to the path of learning and becoming. It is a time of self-pledged celibacy and restraint from all attractions of the senses. The student is expected to immerse him- or herself towards the nourishment of their intellect - through academics, yoga, scriptural and moral studies; and is therefore the stage of sculpting our nature. The reason behind the vows of purity and celibacy for these years is to allow oneself to focus and centre. As soon as boys and girls start dating and mingling with the opposite sex, their focus and priorities shift, thus making it difficult for

them to concentrate on their studies. They sacrifice their duties as a student because they engage themselves in other time and effort consuming activities; like chatting, and talking on the phone. They also start daydreaming during class periods, they drain out their energy and creativity in writing love notes, and sacrifice on their sleep. Thus, they are shifted or drifted away from what is really important - getting a proper education. Additionally, this can be an onset of a life pattern, focused on excessive socialising. The responsibility of creating responsible students then starts. From where does this commence? Don’t we say that education starts at home? Our mothers are our first and

primary teachers; it is them who inculcate in us the initial understanding of right and wrong, evil and sacred, violent and nonviolent, and proper and improper. The mother has a great responsibility on her shoulders of moulding good citizens towards the uplifting and betterment of the society. So one little child can change the entire history of a country. This is how all the great men of the past were made- a Shivaji, an Einstein, a Confucius, or Mahatma Gandhi for that matter. From childhood onwards she inculcates some ideas into them, and as mentioned in their biographies and autobiographies, that for the greatness they achieved or for whatever good they were able to do, or they were able to start, they are indebted to their mothers. It then becomes needless to say that it is through the children of today that we have to remould and recast our futures, for they are the leaders of tomorrow. We must therefore equip them with vision, and not neglect them, to submit themselves to be victims of modernisations. We have the responsibility on our shoulders to create individuals who will intellectually raise their voices against injustice and oppression, without actually caring for the consequences. The remedy lies in our hands; we have to give enough love, respect, reverence and true affection to our children. Enrich them with values to nourish their intellects, thus training them to be future leaders.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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local news

CajaCanarias Cleared For Caixabank Integration Wiggins: “Tenerife Is Key CajaCanarias General Assembly have endorsed plans to integrate with Caixabank, resulting in the largest financial institution in Spain. The CajaCanarias brand will continue to exist in the archipelago following the merger, which received approval from the other members of Banca Civica - Caja Navarra, Caja de Burgos and Cajasol. In a statement, the entity assessed that the Tenerife Caixabank integration “gives continuity to a solvent and future project with a clear social vocation, which has always characterised the savings sector.” CajaCanarias President Álvaro Arvelo Hernández, and the director of the entity, Natalia Aznárez, explained that the details of the process leading to the integration of Civic Banking in Caixabank, in their opinion is “the best formula for founding

to Tour De France Victory”

institutions, customers, shareholders and the team of professionals to address the effects of recent regulatory changes in financial sector consolidation. “ They added, “the transaction strengthens the competitive position of the local financial market to generate significant synergies, increase efficiency and become part of one of the national group’s most reliable and profitable sectors.” The special meeting of Cajasol agreed, with 95% of the votes (130 in favour, seven against and two abstentions) to approve

the integration CaixaBank. In Pamplona, the general counsel of Caja Navarra (CAN) also approved the integration Caixabank, where the Navarre branch will own 1% and have a representative on the board. CAN said that board members passed the motion with two votes against and 19 in favour. After adding Civic Banking, Caixabank have total assets of 342,000 million euros, a market capitalisation greater than the 16,000 million euros, more than 14 million customers and an average market share in Spain in assets of 10.5%.

More Nuns Suspected I n than C h1,500 ild Abductions More complaints of child stealing have resulted in only one case going before the courts; that of the nun, Sister Maria Gómez Valbuena. But other religious names are now being repeated, such as Sister Juana Alonso, of the same congregation, the Daughters of Charity, and the mother superior of the Tenerife nunnery, who held the position between 1951 and 1970. She is now 97 years old. “Why have they only charged Sister Maria, when there’s more reason to charge Sister Juana? She brought children between the mainland and the Canary Islands”, says Liberia Hernández, who accuses the religious order of giving her up for adoption in 1962. Then she was eight years old at the time and was given to a marriage couple without the consent of her mother, who already had

British professional track and road bicycle racer, Bradley Wiggins has revealed the role that mount Teide has played in his emergence as one of the favourites for this summer’s Tour de France, as well as his conviction that he can become the first British rider to win cycling’s biggest race. The summit in the Teide national park has become a magnet for pro cyclists undertaking altitude training, its location also guaranteeing good weather. In the Guardian, cycling writer William Fotheringham describes the beautiful yet harsh conditions, and also hears first-hand how the 3,718 metre volcano – the road up it reaches an elevation of 2,100 metres – has come to play such a pivotal role in Wiggins’ Tour de France preparations. The background lies in the 32-year-old’s disappointing performance in the 2010 edition of the race, his first participation in it with Team

Sky, who had recruited the rider from GarminTransitions in controversial fashion to lead it in its debut season. In 2009, the multiple world and Olympic champion on the track had made his big breakthrough on the road, finishing a remarkable fourth behind Alberto Contador, Andy Schleck and Lance Armstrong. After participating in a two-week training camp on Tenerife, last June, Wiggins went on to secure the biggest win of his career on the road up to that point; the Critérium du Dauphiné. His Tour de France campaign was derailed by a crash that

resulted in him breaking his collarbone at the end of the first week, but he was back in August to race in the Vuelta, finishing third, with Team Sky colleague Chris Froome second, behind Geox-TMC’s Juan Jose Cobo. Those performances were without doubt aided by the experience that Wiggis gained at altitude, although training on Tenerife has other benefits, as Kerrison related, saying: “Unlike some high-altitude venues, it’s possible to train at sea level, which is less damaging at high intensity; unlike Alpine locations the weather is relatively stable in April and May.”

Callao Learning Centre Holiday Activities for July - August 2012

Sister Juana, fifth from left in the second row seven children and had forget Liberia and that taken her to the nunnery she would be better with the people she was with. “ temporarily. The chief prosecutor In her complaint, Liberia Tenerife, Carmen also asks for charges of against the nun who took Almendral, is investigating her by boat from Tenerife, this case, and another Sister Maria Soler, niece of dozen complaints against the couple who adopted Sister Juana. “It’s a name her. She wants to call, as a that is repeated, “she says. Documentation has witness, a former worker in the crèche facility just been received, in the in Tenerife, Mercedes form of a statement from Sánchez, who has Liberia’s brothers, who corroborated her version found out in 1986 that of events: “I remember they had a sister. “So far we have seen Liberia’s mother clutching Much the bars of the window irregularities. asking for her daughter. remains to be evaluated. She spent years going to Some of the alleged including the nursery to ask about offenses, her whereabouts. She maltreatment, need to never gave up. Sister be investigated,”says the Juana told the mother to prosecutor.

Based on our fantastic week at Easter, when 22 children joined in our activities, we are planning to make the time as fun filled as possible - purposeful play! I am conscious that many parents want their kids to keep studying, but I like to sneak up on the children so they don’t realise they are working! As I like the children to feel they have input into their activities, they may help to decide the topics they want to study, but that will depend on the age and capabilities of the group involved. If you look at our photos on the website and Facebook page, you will see the sort of thing we have done in the past; such as making a puppet

show and creating a town. The topics I have in mind to kick start us are ‘Under the Sea’ and ‘Pirates’, but the choice is endless! The Diamond Jubilee and Olympics in the UK are also events that would make for interesting activities. At 11.00 we will be stopping for snack time, and around 1.00 will be time for packed lunches, all of which the parents provide. We have a fridge available at the centre to store food safely.

Children can be dropped off & collected at any time between 9 - 4, and the charges are as follows: 2.50 Euros per hour 15 Euros per day 70 Euros Euros per week (to be paid in advance on Monday morning) You can contact us on: 922 742 000 or 695 978 551. Hope to see you and your children in July and August!

Here is a provisional daily timetable: 9.00-10.00

Play activities at the centre to practise English and maths skills - socialisation – conversation

10.00-11.00

Sporty games at Atlantic Hotel tennis court

11.00 - 1.00

English skills based on topics chosen for the week - reading, writing & listening skills

1.00 - 3.00

Art & craft activities

3.00 - 4.00

Playtime

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 money matters

Euro Falls to Four-Month Low as Spain’s Debt Costs Rise The euro fell to a four-month low as Spain’s borrowing costs rose at an auction, stoking concern that the region’s financial contagion is spreading from Greece. Europe’s shared currency remained lower against most of its major counterparts after Fitch Ratings downgraded Greece’s longterm credit rating to CCC from B-, citing heightened risk that the nation may not be able to sustain membership in the monetary union. There’s a lot of uncertainty about where Europe is headed on the political front, and markets are trading the uncertainty, which means that risky asset prices will fall. The euro was little changed at $1.2722 at 1:48 p.m. New York time after touching $1.2667, the weakest level since Jan. 17. Spain sold bonds due in January 2015 at an average yield of 4.375 percent, compared with 2.89 percent when they were last auctioned in April. Investors bought bonds maturing in July 2015 at 4.876 percent, compared with 4.037 percent on May 3 and bonds due April 2016 at 5.106 percent. Borrowing costs in Europe’s mostindebted nations are rising amid speculation that Greece will leave the 17-nation euro area as political parties opposed to the terms of two international bailouts polled strongly. A fresh vote has been set for June 17. The European Central Bank said it will temporarily stop lending to some Greek banks with President Mario Draghi indicating it won’t compromise to keep Greece in the euro area. Draghi acknowledged for the

first time yesterday that Greece may exit. While the bank’s “strong preference” is that Greece stays in the bloc, the will continue to preserve “the integrity of our balance ECB sheet,” he said in a speech. The repercussions of a disorderly Greek exit would be severe and of course unknown adding to the uncertainty. Mervyn King Governer of the Bank Of England and David

Cameron UK Prime Minister yesterday blasted the Eurozone woes- King stated that the Eurozone is “tearing itself apart” as the UK downgraded its growth forecasts to align with the problems in Europe which is the UK’s main trading partner. David Cameron stated that it is “make up or break up” and the euro is at a “crossroads”. The change in tone from King and Cameron will

be noted as the gloves are now off as the inability for Europe to get its house in order shackles the UK economy. Europe’s financial crisis and its political fallout are shaping back-to-back international summits hosted by President Barack Obama on the global economy and military cooperation. Leaders in the Group of Eight -- with the notable exception of Russian President Vladimir Putin -- convene tomorrow and May 19 at Camp David, near Washington. Then, most will fly to Chicago, for a North Atlantic Treaty Organization meeting. Both are venues for Obama, who is seeking re-election in November, to show U.S. audiences he is playing a leadership role on foreign policy. Still, Obama may have little say over how allies address the euro region crisis, including proposals to revive debt-ridden Greece’s economy at the same time its political system is in turmoil over an austerity plan. Information provided by Currencies Direct, leading providers of foreign exchange. Call to find out how we can help you get the best rates and save your transfer fees. Contact the La Zenia office on +34 965 994 830 or email costablanca@currenciesdirect.com. The contents of this report are for information purposes only. It is not intended as a recommendation to trade or a solicitation for funds. Currencies Direct cannot be held responsible for any loss or damages arising from any action taken following consideration of this information.

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Canarian Ports See More Than 670,000 Cruise Passengers

The ports of Las Palmas and Santa Cruz de Tenerife have received more than 670,000 cruise passengers during the first quarter of the year, both experiencing increases of up to 20%, according to the Port Authority. In the whole of Spain, cruise passenger traffic during the first quarter increased 8% over the same period as last year, to almost 1.1 million passengers. In March the number of cruise passengers docking in Spanish ports was 437,307, while in the same month in 2011 the figure was 434,735 passengers; representing an increase of 0.6%. Also the first quarter saw an increase of 13% of the number of cruise ships docked at national ports, with 548 ships, up from 485 in the same period last year. Meanwhile, the port of Barcelona, which is always considered a reference

Denuncias to Be Allowed In Other Languages

Foreign tourists visiting Spain can now make denuncias (complaints) via telephone in their own language, thanks to an application by the State Society for the Management of Innovation and Tourist Technology (Segittur), being developed in collaboration with the Ministry of the Interior. The complaints go to a call centre, where the police will record and make a sworn translation of the conversation. This will then be sent to the tourist’s apartment or hotel for their corresponding signature on the complainant. This procedure will allow a representative to act on behalf of tourists, if they have already returned to their home country, in the event that the offender is arrested, explained a source from Segittur. This is just one of the measures outlined

in the first Tourism Ministerial Commission, held on 17th May. In a parallel approach the commission wants to involve the tourist industry in various other government ministries, for example, the Environment ministry has created a task force to concentrate on the Canaries’ wildlife, and enhance other resources that promote Spain as a whole.

Brothers Arrested With 182 Kilos of Hashish

point for cruise ships, suffered a fall of 17.65% in the number of travellers, with only 158,650 in the first three months of 2012, as the number of vessels reduced 30% during this period. Similarly, the number of cruise ship passengers fell 75.6% in the Balearic Islands, which barely exceeded the 15,000 cruisers at the start

of the year, compared with more than 65,000 in the first quarter of 2011, and experienced a decrease of 57.7% in the number of ships. By contrast, the port of Valencia saw an increase of 198%, from just over 8,000 cruise tourists in the first quarter of 2011 to nearly 24,000 passengers in the same period for this year.

The National Police have arrested two brothers, 50 and 36 years of age, for alleged drug trafficking. The officers conducted an investigation to determine their involvement and, after searching their home, found more than 180 kilos of hashish. The operation was deployed by agents of the Narcotics Group of the Judicial Police Brigade in the North District Police Station in Santa Cruz. Efforts began in the wake

of new information gleaned by the police. After several inquiries, the officials certified that a resident in the Santa Cruz neighbourhood, and his brother, were engaged in the distribution of narcotics, specifically cocaine and hashish. The accused were identified as AMMR, 50, and RMR, 36, according to data provided by the Provincial Commissioner. One of the brothers was caught on his way to make a drug transaction: a half kilo of hashish. Later, the police

asked for judicial authority to carry out a search at the arrested man’s home. Upon entry, officials were able to identify some 180 kilos of hashish, and a dose of cocaine. The substances were hidden inside the garage of the house. Agents also seized a large quantity of jewels from allegedly unlawful acts. After being made available to the relevant judicial authority, both brothers were sent into custody, without bail.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 LOCAL NEWS

DGT to Give Bonus Points British Association Holds to 16 Million Drivers Dickens Exhibition

From 1st July the Directorate General of Traffic (DGT) will award a bonus point to the 16 million drivers who have not made any infringements of traffic law, or had points deducted from the licence. This means that drivers will have a maximum of 16 points, instead of the initial 12, as specified by the DGT in an article in their magazine ‘Traffic and Road Safety’. This latest bonus comes into effect six years after the points system was introduced and joins the first two points bonus, which occurred in July 2009. Drivers with traffic offences, who do not receive penalties for two years, will be able to recover their lost points, to the initial 12 point value, unless the loss was due to a very serious offence.

The British Dickens Association is commemorating the bicentennial of the birth of the English writer. An exhibition of drawings and illustrations of characters and scenes from the works of Dickens will be displayed.

The statement adds that, of the 26 million drivers in Spain, five million (19%) have been penalised from 1st July, 2006; the date on which the reform took effect, while the accident rate has reduced considerably. According to statistics from the DGT, in 2006 there were 2,601 deaths, a figure that dropped to the 1,338

in 2011. These data imply that 50 lives were saved per month, according to the Institute of Automotive Research (INSIA). The more than 21 million penalty points removed were mainly due to speeding (42%), followed by not wearing a seat belt (13%), use of mobile phones and alcohol (both 9%).

The show was organised by the Faculty of Fine Arts at the University of La Laguna. The works are exhibited in the Art Gallery of García Sanabria Park until 1st June, and the Children’s Library of TEA (Tenerife Arts Space) from 2nd June to 25th July. The exhibition involves over sixty artists, who have amassed a collection that

rediscovers and recreates the world that Dickens included in his works. The works on display were made in a wide range of styles such as drawing, watercolour, mixed media, painting, collage and digital art. Charles Dickens dealt with universal themes of society and its injustices in the workplace.

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local interest

The Municipality of

Santa Cruz de Tenerife An Insightful Guide - Part One

Dear Readers, We have finally arrived to the Capital of the Island; Santa Cruz de Tenerife. A vibrant, Cosmopolitan and open-tothe-sea city with some history that might surprise you. I hope to see you next week for part 2. Santa Cruz de Tenerife (commonly known as Santa Cruz) is the capital (jointly with Las Palmas) of the Canary Islands and capital of the island of Tenerife with a population of 222,417 in 2009. It is located in the Northeast quadrant of Tenerife, about 210 kilometres (130 mi) off the north-western coast of Africa within the Atlantic Ocean. Until 1927 Santa Cruz de Tenerife was the sole capital of the Canary Islands, when a decree ordered that the capital of the Canary Islands had to be shared, as it remains at present. The port is of great importance and is the communications hub between Europe, Africa and The Americas, with cruise ships arriving from many nations. The city is the nerve centre of domestic and inter-island communications in the Canary Islands. The city is home to the Parliament of the Canary Islands, the Canarian Ministry Presidency (shared in a four-year term with Las Palmas), one half of the ministries and boards of the Canarian Government, (the other half being located in Gran Canaria), the Tenerife Provincial Courts and two courts of the Superior Court of Justice of the Canary Islands. There are several facilities of the La Laguna University in Santa Cruz, including the Fine Arts School and the Naval Sciences Faculty. Its harbour is one of Spain’s busiest; it comprises three sectors. It is important for commercial and passenger traffic, as well as for being a major stopover for cruisers en route from Europe to the Caribbean. The city also has one of the world’s largest Carnivals. The Carnival of Santa Cruz de Tenerife now aspires to become a World Heritage Site and is the most important in Spain, and the

second largest in the world. The main landmarks of the city include the Auditorio de Tenerife (Auditorium of Tenerife), the Santa Cruz Towers (Torres de Santa Cruz) and the Iglesia de la Concepción. Santa Cruz de Tenerife hosts the first headquarters of the UNESCO centre in the Canary Islands. The city is a melting pot of diverse cultures that gives it a cosmopolitan character. The largest distinct communities have immigrants from: Latin America, Africa and Western Europe. History Before the arrival of the Castilian conquerors, the territory where the city would be based, constituted zones of wild vegetation pertaining to the Menceyato (kingdom) of Anaga, which governed the Mencey Beneharo. The pre-Hispanic history of the city is carried out by the legacy of ‘Guanches’ (from Guan Chenech, meaning ‘man from Tenerife’) and several foreign expeditions which arrived at the coast. In 1494, in one of these trips, the Castilians arrived and established in Santa Cruz the camping bases for the conquest of the island that extended until 1496, the year in which Tenerife was incorporated into Corona of Castile.

By Carlos Hernández defend themselves from frequent attacks by privateers and berberiscos pirates, both Gallic and English. The British Navy, led by Admiral Nelson, tried to take the city in the 18th century, but were defeated on 25th July, 1797. This episode in history is very important to the city, and reminders of this historic fact can be found around the city. Santa Cruz continued growing and soon ran into the obstacle of the Barranco de Santos; that was overcome by the construction of several bridges. Little by little an urban weave to both sides of the barranco, made up of small streets and pack animal roads, was forming. In the eighteenth century the first expansion of Santa Cruz, derived from a series of factors, took place; chiefly

From the beginning, the port has always been the economic nucleus of the city centre. The first wharf, constructed in 1548, was located by the beach of Añazo, but it was later destroyed in a storm. The present port corresponds with four old docking points in the municipal coast: the port of Horses with the creek of Blacks, the creek of Blas Diaz, the High Step and the Bufadero. The bay of Santa Cruz was appreciated by navigators due to its natural advantages that turned it into a food supply centre for the ships that sailed for the New World. At the end of the 15th century a heterogeneous society began to form, composed of soldiers, native sailors, merchants and guanches. The first population establishments were located in the surroundings of the castle of San Cristóbal, a fortification that protected the small town. New defensive castles were constructed along the coastal areas because the people of Santa Cruz had to

the transfer of the residence of the commander-in-chief from the city of La Laguna to the castle of San Cristóbal. In 1803 Santa Cruz villa was considered and the first city council was constituted. This importance of the city was raised following the destruction of the port in Garachico, in 1706. This left Santa Cruz with the only viable port in the north. The displacement of the economic and commercial activity from Garachico, and the establishment of a bourgeoisie that wanted to control the harbour businesses made the town flourish. This increasing population soon demanded services and zones of leisure. The treelined avenue welcomed the bustle and the visitors of Santa Cruz. In the 20th century, and with the arrival of modernity and the “demographic boom”, the city extended its limits as far as possible, becoming the large city that it is today, and whose borders blur with the urban sprawls of the adjacent municipalities.

Join me next week for part two.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 business news

Facebook Shares Fall Again As Ryanair Warning Despite Flotation Concerns Emerge Record High Profits from recent weeks, when the social Facebook’s flotation has run into more controversy amid reports of concerns about the way advisers disclosed information to investors. As Facebook shares fell another 9% on Tuesday (22nd), regulators said they may review the disclosure process to see if some investors got favourable access. The SEC and regulatory body FINRA both said they would look into the matter. Morgan Stanley, lead underwriter on the flotation, said it was “in compliance with all applicable regulations”. Reuters and the Wall Street Journal reported that Facebook’s advisers may have revised their financial forecasts for the social networking company, but that only selected investors were told. Mary Schapiro, chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, said “there are issues that we need to look at”. Richard Ketchum, chief executive of the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA), said there were “matters of regulatory concern”. But in a statement, Morgan Stanley spokesman, Pen Pendleton, said the bank had “followed the same procedures for the Facebook offering that it follows for all initial public offerings”.

Also on Tuesday, a private investor issued a writ against the Nasdaq stock exchange over technical problems on Friday that disrupted Facebook’s first trading day. Phillip Goldberg, a Maryland resident, is seeking class-action status on behalf of all investors who say they lost money because of the technical problems. Facebook’s market debut was delayed by about half an hour, and orders to buy or sell shares were further disrupted. Mr Goldberg has filed a writ in the southern district court of New York. Nasdaq chief executive Robert Greifeld has said that “clearly we had mistakes in the Facebook listing”. It has all taken the shine off one of the most anticipated flotations in history. Facebook shares, launched at $38 each on Friday, fell 11% on Monday and a further 9% on Tuesday. The shares are now worth $31 each. It is a remarkable turnaround

Business Briefs

network’s share sale was oversubscribed and the eight-year-old firm was valued at $104bn (£66bn). Much of the blame for the fall in share price is being pinned on lead underwriters Morgan Stanley and the Nasdaq exchange itself, with many commentators saying that the sale was over-priced. “There must have been some sober second thoughts about this,” said Brian Wieser, an analyst at Pivotal Research. Mr Wieser thinks a fair price for such a young company without a proven business model is about $30. But some analysts say the fall is of little consequence in the early days. “Whether [Facebook] is worth $95bn or $100bn, it’s immaterial,” Jeremy Liew of investment company Lightspeed Venture Partners told Reuters. The social networking site has transformed the way in which hundreds of millions of people around the world communicate. It is also transforming the way companies advertise to existing and potential customers. But Facebook’s 900 million users helped the company generate just $1bn in profit last year, and there are concerns about its ability to grow profits in the future.

Managers of the CAM savings bank are facing a possible ten year ban from office. The members of the board could also face a fine of up to 500,000 euros; accused of being responsible for the deficiencies in the control of the savings bank, irregular accounting and incorrect submission of documents required by the regulator. The President of Bancaja, José Luis Olivas, has called a board meeting to present his resignation. Actual vice president, Antonio Tirado, is to replace him. It comes a week after the Shareholders Junta of the Banco de Valencia started legal action against Tirado, claiming compensation for what they say as the prejudice done through his management. Banks say they are losing 198 million euros a year though credit and debit card fraud. Fraud levels grew 17% from 2006 to 2009, and have fallen back slightly, but are still higher than six years ago. The data comes from a study carried out by the Fico Company. The best protection for cards is the pin number and the chip, and this has sent the criminals to direct their actions to the internet. The Minister for Hacienda, Cristóbal Montoro, has guaranteed that all the suppliers to local Town Halls will be paid at the end of June. He said that the total amount owed is about 27 billion euros, but denied that the regional governments are synonymous with waste. A month after Argentina nationalised YPF, the Repsol subsidiary in the country, Spain has announced it is cancelling the development aid planned for Argentina this year. The Foreign Ministry denied that it was a reprisal for the YPF affair, and notes that in 2011 the sum had reduced to just four million. Children are, for the first time, the poorest collective in Spain where more than 2 million children are living under the poverty line. Childhood poverty is now over 26%. Unicef, which came up with the report, has commented ‘Being poor in Spain does not mean not being attended to in hospital, but not having access to a treatment not included in the Social Security. The Chamber of Accounts has warned in a report about a lack of control in the grants awarded by the Andalucia Employment Service. Their report says that there is no monitoring on what those to benefit actually spend the money. The funds should go to stimulating the contracting of full time employment. The Risk Premium, the difference between the interest on German and Spanish ten year bonds, has fallen back from the 500 points level. The average cost of a wedding in Spain has fallen for the fifth consecutive year, falling 8.3% compared to a year ago to a price of 13,190 euros. Since the start of the recession the average amount spent on a wedding has fallen by 42%. The most expensive part of the day is the banquet, following by the honeymoon.

Europe’s biggest budget airline has reported a 25% rise in profits but warned that the outlook for the coming year is not as rosy. Ryanair profits rose to 503m euros (£406m) in the year to March, well ahead of the forecast of 491m euros (£396m). Passenger traffic grew 5% on the year to 76 million despite the airline having to ground 80 of its planes in the winter. Despite the record results, the carrier expects profits to fall by a fifth in the coming year on the back of higher fuel costs and a worsening economic outlook. This would represent the company’s first drop in profit since 2009. “Really the problem for us is that while the summer looks good with plenty of bookings, plenty of people switching to Ryanair to go on their holidays, next winter is

much more difficult,” chief executive Michael O’Leary said. “We have no visibility, we have no bookings in the system yet and I think we’re right to be cautious at this point in time. “Clearly there’s a lot of financial uncertainty, clearly there’s a lot of worry about currency, higher oil prices, austerity. But people will still keep flying.” Ryanair’s fuel bill already rose by 360m euros (£291m) over the last year. It expects a further 320m euro (£258m) in the coming 12 months, which the airline will partially offset through higher fares. However, the carrier has seen some benefits from the higher oil price as competitors have either been forced to raise fares or fuel surcharges. Some, like Spanair and Malev, have even been forced to close down.

IMF Boss Says Greece Has ‘More To Do’

The head of the IMF, Christine Lagarde, is keeping up the pressure on Greece to fix its finances. In an interview with the BBC, Ms Lagarde said there had to be more tax collection and structural reform. That is despite the deep unpopularity of austerity measures imposed on Greece by the IMF and European union in return for bailout funds. Greek politicians are divided over whether to continue supporting those measures and face a 17th June election. “The Greek population has made huge efforts. But they have more to do. There are more structural reforms to be had, there is more tax

to be collected and that has a price,” Ms Lagarde said in an interview with the BBC’s Today programme. Many analysts think that Greece may abandon the austerity measures and be forced out of the euro. Ms Lagarde said the IMF did not like that prospect, but that it was “prepared for all possible situations”. But she said that

the costs of Greece leaving could be so high that other members of the Eurozone may be prepared to pay more to keep Greece in the euro. “It may well be that members of the Eurozone will be prepared to support financially more and maybe longer the Greek country and population to stay within the zone,” she said.

EU Checks Up On Spain’s Accounts

Brussels has sent experts to Spain to check on the new deficit figure. The deficit will finally be 8.91% of GDP after the Government discovered that the figures in Madrid and Valencia (and to a lesser extent Andalucía and Castilla y Léon) were not in fact as each region had claimed. The experts are from the Roland Berger and Oliver Whyman who will evaluate the balances of the Spanish banks. Members of Eurostat, the EU statistics service, will travel to Spain next week to verify that the 0.4% increase in the public deficit for 2011 announced by the Spanish Government is exhaustive. They want to ensure that the new deficit is correctly measured. The EU experts will visit the INE National

Statistics Institute who said last 17th May that certain costs from the regions had not been communicated to them by the April deadline. Brussels says that they want to see more transparency from Spain after the deficit revision is completed, to verify that the change announced by the Economy Ministry is ‘comprehensive’. The Minister for the Economy and Competitiveness, Luis de Guindos, insisted that the latest cuts compensate for the deviations discovered in the regions at the end of last week. The Government has said that Bankia still needs 7.5 billion euros because of its exposure to real estate. Economy Minister, Luis de Guindos, has said that the economy will fall by 0.3% in the second quarter of this year.

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world news

Breivik Survivor: My Landmark’ Election for Scars Are Sign Of Victory Post-Mubarak Egypt

A teenage girl who survived after being shot during Anders Behring Breivik’s massacre on Utoya island in Norway has said her scars are a sign of victory over the mass killer. Fifteen-year-old Ylva Helene Schwenke described how she was shot several times by Breivik in the shoulder, stomach and both legs. The girl was with a group of friends on a cliff below an area known as “Lovers’ Path” when the shooting began. Ylva said: “We ran to Lovers’ Path. I felt a bullet just over my shoulder. I thought to myself ‘someone is actually shooting’. “My eyesight is bad. I lost my glasses when I was shot, but it didn’t matter too much as I was lying next to a friend who was shot in the head. I was sure I was going to die. I know people die after one bullet in the movies. I was shot four times. I was just waiting for total whiteness or blackness, but nothing happened. I was still alive.” Ylva, who was 14 at the time of the shooting, was one of the most seriously injured survivors, but she said her life was “quite good

now.” The teenager said: “I have no problems displaying my scars. I see it as victory. We have paid the price for democracy and we have won.” Another survivor, Tarjel Jensen Bech (20), described seeing Breivik dressed as a policeman shooting his friends at the island cafe before he fled for safety in the surrounding forest. Tarjel said: “We see another girl get shot. We hear him (Breivik) walk and breath and hiss - I thought it was like Voldemort in Harry Potter.” When asked by defence lawyer Geir Lippestad how Breivik had appeared during the shootings Tarjel replied: “he (Breivik) seemed determined on the task to ‘take us’.” Breivik smiled as he heard himself described as Harry Potter’s evil

nemesis from the films. The packed courtroom has already heard from 30 teenagers who described in harrowing detail how they survived Breivik’s bullets, but are still haunted by his smile. Breivik’s attack on the island of Utoya during a summer camp for young Norwegians from the country’s Labour party claimed the lives of 69 people. Before embarking on his shooting rampage, Breivik bombed the Government building that houses the Prime Minister’s offices in Oslo, killing eight people. Breivik, 33, has been charged with committing “acts of terror” but although he admits he carried out the attacks, he refuses to plead guilty, insisting they were “cruel but necessary”.

Medic Who Aided Bin Laden Hunt Jailed For Treason

A Pakistani doctor who helped the CIA uncover Osama Bin Laden’s hiding place has been jailed for more than 30 years for treason. Shakil Afridi was accused of running a fake vaccination campaign used to collect DNA to confirm the al Qaeda leader was in the town of Abbottabad, where he was killed in a US special forces raid. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Defence Secretary Leon Panetta have both previously called for the former government doctor to be released, saying his work served Pakistani and American interests. But Mohammad Siddiq, a spokesman for the administrative head of the Khyber region, said: “He has been sentenced for 33 years on treason charges and has been moved to Peshawar central jail after the verdict was announced by the local court.” In January, Mr Panetta told CBS television’s 60 Minutes: “He was not in any

way treasonous towards Pakistan. “For them to take this kind of action against somebody who was helping to go after terrorism, I just think is a real mistake on their part.” Pakistani officials say that when they arrested him they recovered a GPS device that was given to him by US intelligence to arrange meetings with his handlers. Afridi was tried under the Frontier Crimes Regulations, or FCR, the set of laws that govern Pakistan’s semiautonomous tribal region. He had no right to legal representation, to present material evidence or cross-examine witnesses. The imprisonment comes at a sensitive time for relations between the US and Pakistan, with the two sides engaged in talks over the re-opening of Nato supply routes to troops in Afghanistan. The supply routes were closed six months ago in retaliation for American airstrikes that killed 24 Pakistani soldiers.

Egyptians have gone to the polls in the first “free and fair” presidential election in the nation’s history, 15 months after Hosni Mubarak was ousted from power. The vote - taking place in two phases - is seen as a landmark moment in the country’s turbulent transition to democracy, paving the way for the ruling military to hand over control to a civilian leader by the end of June. The voters are choosing between 12 candidates amid on-going divisions over whether to opt for secular or Islamist rule. The novelty of democracy has excited Egyptians who were previously detached from the political process. Long peaceful queues were reported at many polling stations; however one policeman was reportedly shot dead after he was caught up in a gunfight between supporters of rival candidates. The presidential hopefuls have been touring the country and debating live on television. Their campaign posters are plastered across Cairo, where Egyptians chat about politics and policies in the streets and online. For those who favour an Islamist president, there are two main frontrunners: Dr Mohamed Morsi is the

official candidate of the Muslim Brotherhood, the movement which has emerged as the dominant political force in Egypt since the revolution. But even some of the voters who favour Islamist rule are wary of the Muslim Brotherhood’s increasing power in the country - it already controls the parliament. His main rival is the independent “liberal” Islamist Abdel Moneim Aboul Fatouh, who is seen as offering a more moderate brand of religious leadership and has won broad support. The leading secular candidate is Amr Moussa, who is well-known internationally, as the former head of the Arab League. The 75-year-old also served as foreign minister under Hosni Mubarak in the 1990s but has tried to distance himself from the old regime. He is presenting himself as the

most experienced candidate and a “safe pair of hands”. The most controversial candidate another frontrunner - is Ahmed Shafik, who was prime minister at the time of the revolution. He was a former air force commander and favours a strong, continuing role for the military. He appeals to those Egyptians who have been unsettled by the revolution, particularly the supporters of the old regime. The first round of voting took place on Wednesday and Thursday (23rd, 24th), and then a run-off vote will be held in mid-June. Many Egyptians have been impatient to be rid of the military rulers, who have controlled the country since the uprising. Anger over the military’s on-going influence has triggered violence and unrest, amid fears that the generals are trying to hold onto power.

Mountain Lion Wanders Into LA Shopping Area

A mountain lion was shot dead by authorities in the western outskirts of Los Angeles after it strayed near a popular shopping street. The animal was spotted in the courtyard of an office building in Santa Monica, which is close to a large wilderness area. But even there, lion mountains are rarely seen - and they virtually never come down into the city itself. So police and wildlife officials were called when one of the big cats, estimated to be three years old and weighing about 75lbs (34kg), was spotted wandering in Santa Monica. However, the animal proved to be more difficult to control than first thought and after a stand-off, the mountain lion was killed. “A variety of means were used to try to keep the animal back inside the courtyard area,” said Santa Monica police spokesman Robert Almada. “We deployed less-lethal pepper ball, we deployed fire hoses and

the animal continued to charge in (an) attempt to flee. Regrettably, the animal was euthanised in order to protect public safety.” Animal rights activists voiced dismay at how the situation was handled. Madeline Bernstein, head of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals LA, said: “Basically, they agitated and frightened a cornered cat before they killed her. Hosing a mountain lion down and then shooting her with pepper balls only served to make her more frenzied. Deadly force should be used only as a last resort. The citizens and wildlife of California deserve better.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 world news

Secret Service Boss to Explain Prostitute Scandal Knighthood for Apple’s The head of the US Secret Service British Designer is to face Congress to explain why his agents were cavorting with prostitutes in Colombia in April. Twelve Secret Service officers and supervisors and 12 other US military personnel have been implicated. Agents in the US Drug Enforcement Agency are also being investigated. The covert shenanigans of a number of Secret Service agents were exposed during US President Barack Obama’s visit to Cartagena for the Summits of the Americas. The incident began with a row between prostitute Dania Suárez and one agent after a night they spent together. Their loud disagreement over how much he owed her brought so much attention the police were called. In the investigation that followed, a number of other agents were alleged to have been romping with prostitutes in their rooms. Their boss, Mark Sullivan, now faces the consequences on Capitol Hill. He is expected to tell lawmakers that nine agents were found to have been involved in serious misconduct - and three cleared of the most serious allegations. He will claim that other intelligence agencies have found no breach of

The British designer behind many of Apple’s most popular gadgets has been knighted at Buckingham Palace in recognition of his contribution to the industry.

The incident began with a row between prostitute Dania Suárez (pictured) and one agent operational security was caused by include protecting the president, vice the use of prostitutes. president, presidential candidates and A new code of conduct is expected their families. for secret agents while working The Cartagena affair has caused the overseas. They will be banned from agency excruciating embarrassment. It taking foreign nationals to their has prompted speculation the incident rooms. Alcohol will be banned within was not exceptional, but symptomatic 10 hours of active duty. of a culture of misconduct among “Non-reputable” establishments, agents while operating beyond parlance it seems for brothels, will be America’s borders. out of bounds for agents. Those allegations are hotly denied The Secret Service is one of by the agency but they are likely to be America’s myriad federal law raised again when its director faces enforcement agencies. Its duties the congressional music later.

North Korea Says It Will ‘Expand’ Nuclear Program

North Korea has said it will press on with its nuclear program as a response to what it described as hostility from the United States after an analysis of satellite images indicated increased activity at its nuclear test site. “We had access to nuclear deterrence for selfdefence because of the hostile policy of the U.S. to stifle the DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) by force and we will expand and bolster it nonstop as long as this hostile policy goes on,” an unidentified spokesman for the North Korean Foreign Ministry said in a report Tuesday (22nd) by the state-run Korean Central News Agency. The top U.S. envoy for North Korea, Glyn Davies, warned Pyongyang on Monday that a possible third nuclear test would be “a serious miscalculation and mistake.” The North Korean official suggested Tuesday that a nuclear test had not originally been part of the regime’s plans. “We did not

envisage such a military measure as a nuclear test as we planned to launch a scientific and technical satellite for peaceful purposes,” he said. But the statement concluded with a vague threat: “If the U.S. persists in its moves to ratchet up sanctions and pressure upon us despite our peaceloving efforts, we will be left with no option but to take counter-measures for self-defence.” North Korea launched a rocket on 13th April, which failed less than two minutes into the flight. It said the launch was to put a satellite into orbit, but much of the

international community saw it as a cover up for testing its ballistic missile technology. The move torpedoed a deal reached in February under which Pyongyang agreed to suspend its nuclear activities in exchange for food aid shipments from the United States. Many analysts assume an atomic test by North Korea is just a matter of time, following the failure of the rocket launch last month. Two previous rocket launches in 2006 and 2009 were followed weeks or months later by nuclear tests. And activity is being

ramped up at North Korea’s nuclear test site, a sign that the country is preparing for a test, according to an analysis of new satellite images by the defence publication IHS Janes. Mining carts and excavation equipment at Punggye-ri’s tunnelling area can be seen in satellite images taken by Digital Globe and GeoEye in the past month. Earth and debris are being removed from the tunnel in the largest quantities seen so far, according to the Janes assessment. An image from mid-April shows a full mining train, including an engine and several carts, outside of the tunnel. And a more recent shot on 9th May reveals new road networks at the site along with carts and a vehicle at the facility. In the Tuesday statement, North Korea denounced as “absolutely intolerable” a declaration from the Group of 8 leaders over the weekend, which stated that Pyongyang faces more isolation if it continues its pursuit of a nuclear program.

Sir Jonathan Ive, as he will now be known, became a Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire (KBE) for “services to design and enterprise”. Born in Chingford, Essex, he joined Apple in 1992 and is credited with helping to shape the company’s distinctive, minimalistic look. While the late Steve Jobs was for many years the front man of the Apple brand, Sir Jonathan, or Jony as he is known to his colleagues, played a crucial role behind the scenes, developing the original iPod, among other products. Luke Westaway, editor of Crave at CNET, told Sky News: “Ive’s design input has been an important aspect of Apple’s success in the last decade or so, as he played a huge part in creating the distinctive, minimalistic look that makes Apple’s products so popular. “Ive notably helped design the iPod, which apart from proving a stylish and influential gadget, paved

the way for Apple’s iPhone.” Sir Jonathan is now senior vice president of Industrial Design at Apple, reporting directly to CEO Tim Cook. He was named Designer of the Year by the Design Museum London in 2003, and awarded the title Royal Designer for Industry by The Royal Society of Arts, among his numerous honours. Responding to news of his knighthood at the time, Sir Jonathan pointed to his British roots, saying: “I am keenly aware that I benefit from a wonderful tradition in the UK of designing and making. “To be recognised with this honour is absolutely thrilling and I am both humbled and sincerely grateful.” He added: “I discovered at an early age that all I’ve ever wanted to do is design. I feel enormously fortunate that I continue to be able to design and make products with a truly remarkable group of people here at Apple.”

Drunk Driver Brought Zebra and Parrot Along For Ride

The charge is rather routine - an Iowa man was arrested over the weekend, accused of operating a vehicle while intoxicated, according to a police report. What makes this case unusual are the passengers that police in Dubuque say were with him: a parrot on his shoulder and a zebra in the back seat. “They love going for rides,” John Reiter’s girlfriend, Vicky Teters, said to CNN affiliate KCRG. “We treat them like our kids. They come in the house; we take them outside and take them for walks. We take them for car rides,” Teters told KCRG. “They go and get the mail with me.” Dubuque Police Lt. Samuel Baxter said that quite a few people called in to alert the

police about a “zebra and parrot trapped in a vehicle parked at a bar.” Officer Chad Leitzen described in his report what he saw as he arrived: “I did observe two white male subjects in the front of the vehicle. I also observed a zebra in the back seat of the vehicle and a parrot on the driver’s shoulder.” Leitzen then conducted a breathalyser test that he said Reiter subsequently failed with a blood alcohol content of .148. The legal limit in Iowa is .08, according to Iowa’s Department of Transportation website. Reiter was arrested Sunday (20th) and held overnight, while the zebra and parrot were taken safely to a friend’s house.

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IRISH NEWS

Ac c u s e d M e n ‘ S e en L e av i n g ’ M c A r e avey H ote l Roo m

An eyewitness saw the two men accused of murdering Michaela McAreavey emerge from her hotel room moments after he heard cries of anguish coming from inside, a court in Mauritius heard. Lawyer Mehdi Manrakhan, outlining the case for the prosecution, also told the jury in the island’s Supreme Court about the moment Mrs McAreavey’s husband, John, discovered her lifeless body in room 1025 at the Legends Hotel. The prosecutor told the court that a witness heard a scuffle taking place in room 1025 at the Legends Hotel. He told the court, sitting in the Supreme Court building in Port Louis: “He heard a female voice crying and then ‘Agh, agh, agh’ as if she was in pain. He claimed the witness - Raj Theekoy - then saw the two men accused of the murder leave the room. Mr Manrakhan added: “This was a dream honeymoon for John [McAreavey, her husband] and Michaela, which turned into a nightmare.” Defendants Avinash Treebhoowoon (30) and Sandip Moneea (42) deny the charge of premeditated murder. The prosecutor said Mr McAreavey had returned to their

room after his wife, daughter of Tyrone Gaelic football boss Mickey Harte, failed to return from fetching biscuits to have with a cup of tea. He had to get a member of the hotel staff to open the door when no-one answered. “As soon as John entered room 1025 his worst nightmare began,” said Mr Manrakhan. “In the bathroom John saw Michaela lying senseless in the bathtub.” Mr Manrakhan said medical examinations showed Mrs McAreavey died from asphyxiation due to compression of the neck. “Medical evidence is such that there can be no doubt that Michaela had been brutally killed,” he said. While the prosecutor told the court Mr Treebhoowoon had confessed to police about his

role in the murder -which he said was a robbery gone wrong - the jury later heard claims that he accused the police of beating the statement out of him. The prosecutor said Mr Moneea emphatically denied involvement, but the evidence would show he was a liar. Extra security measures were implemented on the second day of the case. The trial witnessed chaotic scenes as it began with Mr McAreavey mobbed by crowds outside. The jury of six men and three women were sent to a hotel and told by Mr Justice Prithviraj Fecknah to cut off all contact with the outside world. Ms McAreavey, a 27-yearold teacher from Ballygawley, Co Tyrone, was killed while on

Nama Planning To Invest 2bn Euros

The National Asset Management Agency is to invest about 2 billion Euros by 2016, creating up to 35,000 jobs, its chairman said this week. Speaking in Galway, Frank Daly said the money would be used to both complete construction work already in progress and to develop greenfield sites, with Nama anticipating supply shortages in some market segments in the future. Mr Daly said the investment could potentially generate 25,000 jobs in construction and a further 10,000 jobs in the wider economy. Nama’s loan portfolio has more potential than was originally expected, Mr Daly said. “Our view is that longterm prospects for much of this property are good. On that basis, we propose to invest, particularly over the next three years, with a view to ensuring that

this property is available to meet commercial and residential demand over the rest of the decade,” he said. ‘’In some market segments - large offices, for instance - supply shortages are already emerging and we plan to address that now.’’ Nama will lend at least 2 billion Euros in vendor finance to acquirers of commercial property, and plans to attract major institutional investors to buy properties through a Qualifying Investor Fund. Mr Daly said the agency was on track to repay its debts by 2020.

The news was welcomed by property industry representatives, who said the package would stimulate activity in the sector. “Lack of working capital in the property industry is a huge issue at the moment, meaning that many projects cannot be brought to conclusion and many property businesses are still in trouble,” said Finola McDonnell, director of Property Industry Ireland. “Today’s Nama investment is a step in the right direction and will help to get much needed activity underway. More will be needed over time.”

Avinash Treebhoowoon (l) and Sandip Moneea (r) honeymoon on the Indian Ocean Island in January last year. The two hotel workers – room attendant Mr Treebhoowoon, from Plaine des Roches, and floor supervisor Mr Moneea, from Petit Raffray – deny the charges. The killing of Ms McAreavey has generated huge interest in Ireland and Mauritius, and there were chaotic scenes outside courtroom number five as crowds pressed to gain access to the building. John McAreavey, accompanied by members of his and Ms McAreavey’s family, is listed among 30 prosecution witnesses due to give evidence. Before he sequestered the jury to a hotel for the evening, Judge Fecknah advised members

not to watch television or read the newspapers. “You will free yourself from all outward sources of information,” he said. The matter was the only one heard before the jury on the first day, with the afternoon devoted to legal argument between the two teams of lawyers. Outside court, John McAreavey’s sister Claire appealed for the family’s privacy to be respected during the trial. “This is a very distressing time for both our families and the days ahead will be very difficult for us,” she said. “Thank you for your support and we ask for your prayers at this time.” The accused face up to 60 years in prison if found guilty.

Focus On Growth at EU Summit

The Government is confident that the focus on growth at this week’s EU summit in Brussels will boost the prospects of a Yes vote in the referendum on the fiscal treaty on 31st May. Following the election of François Hollande as French president there were fears he might seek to have the existing treaty provisions reopened with damaging consequences for the Government’s referendum campaign. However, Irish officials are confident Mr Hollande’s strategy now is to get agreement on a growth package to go hand-in-hand with the treaty provisions. “The need for an emphasis on growth at EU level is something the Taoiseach has been advocating since he took office and this summit could be a decisive step in that direction,” said one Government source. Separately, Minister of State for European Affairs Lucinda Creighton, accepted that Ireland may

need a second bailout and she said the country’s 12.5 per cent corporation tax could be threatened by a No vote. She said if Ireland excluded itself from the European Stability Mechanism by voting No, other European countries that might contribute to a fund on which Ireland could draw might put other issues into the mix. “Corporation tax could very well be put on the table and we may not be in a very strong position to say no, so I think we have to be alive to that reality,” said the Minister. In Brussels, Irish Ministers are hoping that positive noises from this week’s dinner in Brussels will help the referendum campaign as it enters its final week, although agreement on the details of a growth package is not expected until the next major twoday EU summit at the end of June. While Mr Hollande campaigned in the French presidential election to

have specific growth measures inserted into the fiscal treaty, officials involved in the summit expect he will not push for a deal to reopen the pact. It means Mr Kenny will be facing into the final phase of the referendum campaign with the treaty intact. The proposed growth initiative includes a big expansion of lending powers for the European Investment Bank and a new effort to free up unspent EU structural funds. Speaking in the Dáil before leaving for the EU summit, Mr Kenny added there was potential for the EU to be the engine of trade in a global sense and reduce the cost of business. The opportunity also existed for the completion of the single market, dealing with the whole area of digital potential and the crisis within the euro zone, as well as the broader spectrum of relations between the EU and United States and China, he said.

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Double Killer Hands Himself In

Double-killer John Gallagher would not have handed himself in unless he knew he would walk free, a family member of one of his victims has said. Gallagher handed himself in to the Central Mental Hospital earlier this month, some 12 years after he absconded. He killed his girlfriend Anne Gillespie (18), and her mother Annie (51), in the grounds of Sligo hospital in 1988. Anne Lafferty, Annie’s sister-in-law, said the family were told only last night that Gallagher was back in detention. “It was a shock,” she said from their home in Ballybofey, Co Donegal. “It’s very, very hard for all the family now. We feel that he wouldn’t have gone in if he didn’t think he was going to walk free.” Gallagher, from Lifford in Co Donegal, killed the women when he learnt Anne planned to break off their relationship. The then 22-year-old was tried for the murder, but was found to be insane and committed to the Central Mental Hospital. Gallagher absconded in 2000 while on day release and fled to England. He left his hostel-type accommodation where he had been housed for a number of years and drove through the grounds on his new motorcycle, purchased months earlier with money he earned from his job in Sandyford. The hospital has said Gallagher had always previously complied with the terms of his day parole. On the occasions when he was permitted to leave the hospital overnight, he was said to have caused no problems and always returned the following day.

Hours after his escape, checkpoints were set up around the city. Some days after he absconded, Gardaí learned he was in the Birmingham area of the UK. He continued to reside in the UK for a number of years. Because of the verdict of insane he was never convicted, and under a loophole in the law could not be extradited back to the Republic. However in 2003 he set up home in Strabane, just a few miles from where his victims lived in the twin towns of Ballybofey and Stranorlar. He is believed to have lived there with his partner and children. Gardaí had repeatedly said they could not arrest Gallagher unless he crossed the border into the Republic. He was not wanted in Britain because he had committed no crime there. It is claimed that he is planning to take a legal case to be declared sane again so that he can be released. Under the Criminal Law Insanity Act 2006, his continued detention as a patient is determined by the Mental Health Review Board.

Woman Buys Back Brother’s Repossessed House At Auction

There was a little bit of magic at the second Merlin property auction in Dublin on Tuesday (22nd) when a woman successfully bought back a house that had recently been repossessed from her brother. Orla Mulvey paid just 76,000 Euros for the five-bedroom detached house in Castlepollard, Co Westmeath. It had been built on her father’s land and was being sold by the financial institution which had secured the repossession order. Ahead of the auction she told the 75 people in the Radisson Blu hotel ballroom that she was trying to buy back the house for her family. It had an advised minimum value (AMV) of 70,000 Euros. When bidding started at 50,000 Euros there were three interested parties but at 76,000 Euros Ms Mulvey was the last one standing. She punched the air after posting the winning bid and said later that her whole family, and her father in

particular, were delighted she had won. She was reluctant to go into details of her family’s financial arrangements or the mortgage originally taken out on the home. Similar properties in the area were selling for more than 250,000 Euros at the height of the property bubble. It was a bright moment in an otherwise dull day and the choice of the Hall and Oates 1980s pop tune I Can’t Go for That as the music to launch the auction proved appropriate, with 15 of the 20 properties withdrawn after failing to attract much attention. Lot number one was a fully furnished one-bedroom apartment in Ballyconnell, Co Cavan, which had an AMV of 20,000 Euros. Described as a “good little getaway” by auctioneer David Kehoe, it

attracted an opening bid of just 10,000 Euros, inching up to 13,500 Euros before it was withdrawn. A three-bedroom bungalow in Belturbet, Co Cavan, with a large garden with “superb views” of the Shannon-Erne waterway, had an AMV of 58,000 Euros but the highest bid was 28,000 Euros shy of that amount and it too was taken off the table. A pub and house in Athy, Co Kildare, valued at 1 million Euros in 2007, was also withdrawn after bidding stopped at 150,000 Euros, some 40,000 Euros off the AMV set by Merlin. Monkstown Snooker Hall was, Merlin said, valued at 1.25 million Euros four years ago but was available for 250,000 Euros in the auction. Mr Kehoe reminded potential buyers that the venue had an amusement licence and said “if you fancy putting in slot machines it could be ideal”. No one was willing to take the gamble, however, and the property was withdrawn at 200,000 Euros.

Former Bus Éireann Driver Jailed Over Fatal Crash Teacher Acquitted Of Rape Charges A 45-year-old former Bus Éireann bus driver has been given a threeyear prison sentence for his role in a fatal crash in 2009. Sorin Dinu, with an address at Castlecurragh Heath in Mulhuddart, Dublin 15, was the driver of a bus that became airborne after hitting a roundabout at Johnstown, Enfield, Co Meath, in February 2009. The bus landed on a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by Cathal O’Leary, who was killed in

the incident. Judge Michael O’Shea imposed a three-year sentence on Dinu and refused leave to appeal.

Fire Destroys Landmark Pub Top of Coom in Kerry

A fire that destroyed the Top of Coom pub on the Cork/Kerry border is being investigated by Gardaí. The fire broke out at about 9pm Monday night (21st) and quickly spread to the adjoining family home. The publican and an elderly customer were in the pub when the fire broke out, but escaped to safety. The publican’s wife and children also escaped. Three units of the Kerry County Fire Service fought the blaze until 5am but the pub and home were

extensively damaged in the fire. Gardaí are not treating the fire as suspicious and

are investigating if an open fire in the pub may have contributed to the blaze.

A Londonderry school teacher has been found not guilty of raping and indecently assaulting a 14-year-old girl almost ten years ago. Stewart Robert Smith, 39, from Winchester Park in Derry, denied all charges, which were alleged to have happened between December 2002 and August 2003. The complainant, who cannot be named for legal reasons, had alleged that Mr Smith had carried out the sex assaults on her in her home and in his home. The trial at Londonderry Crown Court lasted six days. The court was told the girl reported the allegations to the police in December 2009. She told the police that Mr Smith was a family friend who often visited her home and at times stayed overnight and that she was paid to clean his house sometimes. The court was also told during the trial that, when Mr Smith had been interviewed by the police in February this

year, he confirmed that he was a friend of the girl’s family and regularly stayed overnight in her home. He said that the girl’s mother had arranged for her to clean his house. The jury heard claims that they had had intercourse, that the girl thought she was in a relationship with the defendant and, at one stage, feared she could be pregnant. Mr Smith denied all the allegations made against him, insisting he had never had intercourse with the girl, and denied the assaults.

The jury unanimously found Mr Smith not guilty of three charges of raping the girl and unanimously not guilty of one charge of indecently assaulting her. The complainant and her mother both wept when the jury foreman announced the four verdicts to trial Judge Stephen Fowler. Mr Smith was congratulated outside the courtroom by relatives and friends. During the trial, the judge had imposed media restrictions, including a ban on naming the school where the defendant taught.

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Teachers and Students Walk Out Of Classes to Protest School Cutbacks

Hundreds of thousands of students and teachers, joined by parents and other supporters, took part in massive rallies across Spain on Tuesday (22nd) as the culmination of a one-day classroom strike to protest cuts in education by the central and regional governments. The demonstration were peaceful, although tense moments were reported during the day, such as in Seville, where a group of fascists tried to crash one rally, and in the Balearics, where handfuls of students charged the offices of the island’s education commissioner, which ended in a noisy struggle. In Barcelona, city police estimated the street turnout at around 25,000, while unions placed the figure at 150,000. Similar discrepancies were reported in Madrid, where people poured into the Cibeles square to protest against plans by Madrid regional premier Esperanza

Aguirre to lay off a number of teachers and their assistants. The five biggest unions that represent education workers across the country called for the one-day strike in all 17 regions — from kindergarten to university level — to object to Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy’s proposed 21 per cent spending cuts to education, as well as his

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administration’s call for regional governments to save a combined additional three billion euros. “The government has to change its policy and its economic direction in general, and should issue a statement that it intends to keep the social model we have intact,” said CCOO secretary general Fernando Toxo, who took part in a rally in Bilbao. “There are

other types of reforms that can be introduced and they are not necessarily the ones they are taking.” The Culture, Education and Sports Ministry said that only 19 to 22 per cent of the nation’s public school classrooms were empty on Tuesday. But the unions claimed that at least 85 per cent of schools and universities were unable to hold classes.

Spanish Children Now At Greater Risk Of Poverty Than Seniors

“Poverty has the face of a child,” said the director of Unicef Spain, Paloma Escudero, at the presentation of a report entitled “The impact of the crisis on children.” Some 26 per cent of Spaniards under the age of 18 - 2.2 million children - live in homes that fall below the 2010 poverty threshold, according to National Statistics Institute figures compiled for the report. For the first time, children living in situations of deprivation in Spain outnumber the over-65s, which was the worstaffected demographic until this year at, 21.7 per cent. Furthermore, the number of children on the poverty line has risen by 10 per cent with respect to 2008, which represents families of two adults and two children with income of less than 16,400 euros. Of the 205,000 children in this bracket,

13.7 per cent live on a total income of less than 11,000 euros, which is considered extreme poverty. Only Bulgaria and Romania exceed this figure within the European Union. Unemployment has also taken its toll: 714,000 families in Spain have no working members, a 120 per cent increase over 2007, according to Eurostat figures. “The cost of not acting now will not only affect the most vulnerable children and families today but will also jeopardise the growth of society in the medium and long term,” said Escudero. Government spending cuts saw the suppression of the so-called “baby bond” a 2,500-euro payment for new or adopting parents - in 2010 and the reduction of social security subsidies for families with two children and income of less than 13,000 euros from 500 euros to 291 euros.

Spanish Fishermen and Gibraltar Make Time for Talks Benajarafe Transmitter

A meeting on Gibraltar between the First Minister and the Mayor of La Línea has brought progress. The Spanish fishermen and the Gibraltar Government have given themselves more time for talks. The Mayor of La Linea, Gemma Araujo, had a two and a half hour long meeting with the

Gibraltar Chief Minister, Fabian Picardo, with the idea of creating a mixed working group to look at the effects of the fishermen’s nets in waters around the Rock, and their environmental impact in the zone. It was decided that the working group would have ten members, five named by Picardo and five from the local fishermen, and

they will have 60 days to come up with their conclusions. In addition the Gibraltar Chief Minister said that in the meantime they would limit the prohibition of fishing with nets only close to the Rock. Gemma Arujo said that she was satisfied with the outcome, but she hoped the working group would not need all the 60 days.

Rajoy Meets Hollande

Mariano Rajoy had lunch on Wednesday (23rd) with the recently elected French President, François Hollande. It was the first bilateral meeting between the two, and the first time that Hollande welcomed a head of state to the Elyse palace, although the two had met at the NATO summit in Chicago. Rajoy wants to establish

stable bilateral relations. Rajoy then went on to Brussels, where he assisted in a summit of EU leaders in the spring meeting of the European Council. The discussions in the meeting included the Eurocrisis, and with more calls for growth, Rajoy has said the debate between austerity and growth is a false one, as both are needed.

Headache Drags On

An illegal phone mast in Benajarafe (Málaga) remains standing five months after it was ordered to be removed. Residents claim the Vodafone mast has caused a shocking 50 cases of cancer – many leading to death – since it was built 17 years ago. “We are desperate,” said neighbourhood spokeswoman Antonia Delgado. “We don’t want to continue living in worry knowing that since this mast has been there, 50 cases of cancer have been

registered.” The Vodafone mast was constructed with no licence next to the Torre Moya watchtower. After numerous protests, in 2009 Velez Town Hall

ordered the phone giant to remove its transmitter. Then, after the company lost an appeal, in December it was ordered once again. That month Councillor Concha Labao said: “Work is beginning on removing this mast, which has a great visual impact and is not legal.” Yet it still remains standing. Although its emission levels are lawful, many residents have reported suffering from insomnia and headaches since it was installed.

Brits Injured In Golf Buggy Plunge

Two British women, aged 71 and 62, were injured on Tuesday (22nd) when they plunged down a 10 metre high embankment in a golf buggy at Alhaurín el Grande in Málaga. They were rescued by members of the Provincial Fire Consortium, and were taken to hospital, one of them by helicopter, the other by road. The pair had become trapped after the plunge, but their rescue was eased by

coordination between the emergency services and the owners of the golf course, along with officers of the Guardia Civil.

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Former Judge Avoids Jail Time Self-Made Man Becomes

A former Marbella judge who was sentenced to two years for accepting a 60,000-euro bribe to drop a money-laundering case in 2007 has avoided jail time. Francisco Javier de Urquía will be allowed to remain free after he paid his fine and was disbarred for 17 years, the Andalusia regional High Court ruled last week. The decision, which was made official on Wednesday (23rd), will still have to be confirmed by the lower court that imposed the original jail sentence on Urquía. Urquía, the son of a former Alicante judge, was convicted on bribery and derelict of duty charges stemming from the so-called Hidalgo case; a multi-million-euro money-laundering scheme involving an international ring that operated out of Marbella. He shelved the case against the defendants — one being a close friend — in May 2007 after receiving the 60,000-euro bribe. In February, the Supreme Court confirmed the sentence against Urquía, but the fired judge asked to remain free. Under article 81 of the Penal Code, defendants who are sentenced to two years or fewer and do not have prior criminal records can obtain a jail waiver if they have paid their fines and met any civil restitution. In the Urquía case, there was no restitution imposed, but he was ordered to pay a 69,000-euro fine, which he paid in full. He was also banned from the legal profession, in particular from holding a bench seat, for 17 years.

Roca paid off Urquía to prevent a TV station from broadcasting a program about his shady wealth. This was Urquía’s second conviction. The former judge had accepted a 73,800-euro bribe from Juan Antonio Roca, the alleged architect of the massive multi-million real estate scam in Marbella that was the origin of the Operation Malaya case in 2005. Roca had paid off Urquía in exchange for a ruling that prevented a television station from broadcasting a program about his dubious earnings. Following February’s decision by the Supreme Court, the General Counsel of the Judiciary (CGPJ) legal watchdog

officially fired Urquía. Two other defendants, who were convicted along with Urquía — Azan Khan and Arnaud Albouhair — have also escaped jail time. They were sentenced to one and two years, respectively. The court also decided to apply the waiver, as long as they do not commit any more crimes in the next three years. The two defendants requested that they be allowed to pay their fines in instalments, to which the Andalusia High Court also agreed. From June, Albouhair will have to begin paying his four instalments of 15,000 euros each to cover the 60,000-euro fine, while Khan will begin making 10,000-euro payments until he pays off his 50,000-euro fine. In April 2007, Urquía received 60,000 euros from Khan, one of the defendants in the Hidalgo moneylaundering case, in exchange for allowing him, his wife and son free on bail. According to the court details of the case, Albouhair received the money from a nephew of Khan named Tariq, when the uncle was already in prison. The money was given to Urquía. After he got the cash, on 2nd May, 2007 Urquía reversed the custody orders that had been issued two weeks before, arguing that Khan was going to be tried on the same charges in Belgium, his country of residence. The court determined that Urquía had deliberately obstructed justice by not demonstrating that the amount of money that Khan was charged with laundering — 136 million euros — was identical to the amount he was charged with channelling in Belgium.

J u n ta V i c e p r e s i d e n t

An orphan, who once worked as a hairdresser, has become Andalucia’s new deputy leader.

Self-made man, Diego Valderas Sosa – who also previously delivered gas bottles – has been sworn in as the new Junta Vice President from the leftwing IU party. No stranger to hard slog, Valderas, from Huelva, later worked his way up from admin assistant to manager at a vineyard. He then became one of the youngest mayors in Andalucia, when, at the age of 26, he took the post in Bollullos Par de Condado. He was born in the town in 1953, before becoming orphaned as a teenager when both parents died on the same day.

At the age of 16 he moved to Barcelona to land his first job as a cook. Valderas, who says his only objective is to ‘avoid the Right getting in in Andalucia’ later became Speaker of the Junta. He got the current post after PSOE was forced to enter a coalition with the IU Party in order to stay in power last month. Valderas is a keen cook and walker, and his family runs a catering firm in Bollullos. Surprisingly, he does not have a driver’s licence, but does enjoy jogging and walking in the countryside.

‘Gay’ Penguin Couple Given Egg of Their Own Every spring for six years Gentoo penguins Inca and Rayas have lovingly built a nest together, only to find that no eggs arrive to fill it. It doesn’t seem to have dawned on the couple that both of them are male. But after the repeated heartbreak of feeding his young with regurgitated of watching other penguins become fish. His keepers report that Rayas has parents and raise their young, the “gay” couple finally have something to become more anxious due to nervous celebrate after their keepers gave them anticipation of his due date in June, but that the job seems to have made him an egg of their own to care for. Rather than questioning how the into a “new penguin”, according to The improbable scenario arose, the Times. Yolanda Martin, who cares for the inseparable pair has seized their one chance at fatherhood with the zeal of pair, said: “We wanted them to have a couple who know they may not get something to stay together for – so we got an egg. Otherwise they might have another. Inca has taken on the “female” role of become depressed.” The couple drew attention after incubating the donated egg, obtained by keepers a month ago, and stoically forming an inseparable bond from the remains atop his prize for most of day they met at Faunia Park in Madrid, the day, refusing the temptation to but the new development has made dip his feathers into the water. His them a media sensation, topping news partner Rayas, meanwhile, keeps a bulletins and bringing a welcome ray watchful guard over the nest while of sunshine to Spain after weeks of eating whatever he can fit in his beak in miserable headlines about the country’s preparation for the traditional male job economic turmoil.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 tv guide

tELEVISION & ENTERTAINMENT guide

Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final BBC 1 Saturday 26th May 8:00 pm

Graham Norton commentates for BBC One and BBC One HD and Ken Bruce commentates for BBC Radio 2 as 26 countries (out of the original 42) compete for the coveted title of the Eurovision Song Contest winner 2012. From each of the two semi-finals, ten countries have qualified. Meanwhile, the big five - France, Germany, Spain, the United Kingdom and Italy - and host country Azerbaijan have automatically qualified to take part in the Grand Final.

Engelbert Humperdinck will be flying the flag for the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest tonight as he opens this year’s spectacular event with his soaring ballad Love Will Set You Free’. Viewers will once again be part of the Eurovision Song Contest experience via the red button. Red button users will be able to sing along to the lyrics of all 26 finalists songs, both in English and the original language. Viewers will also be able to share their comments and thoughts on this year’s grand final.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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f r i d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am ��Cash in the Attic 11:45am ��Bargain Hunt 12:30pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm ��Prank Patrol Down Under 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm �� Blue Peter 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 8:00pm ��EastEnders As the day of Ian and Mandy’s wedding dawns, a desperate Lucy issues her father with an ultimatum: he must choose her or Mandy. As Ian begins to lose his grip on reality, who will he choose, and will the wedding go ahead? 8:30pm ��Would I Lie to You? Lee Mack is joined by Huw Edwards and Sarah Millican, and David Mitchell is joined by Bradley Walsh and Josie Lawrence. 9:00pm ��Have I Got News for You Popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host William Shatner and guest panellists Charlie Brooker and Andy Hamilton. 9:30pm �� Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show 11:20pm ��The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11:30pm �� The Matt Lucas Awards 12:05am �� EastEnders Omnibus 2:05am ��Silk

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am �� Nina and the Neurons Go Eco! 8:45am �� Big City Park 8:55am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� BBC World News 12:00pm ��The Daily Politics 1:00pm �� Hands on Nature 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9:00pm ��The Great British Story: A People’s History 10:00pm �� Episodes 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:05pm �� Golf 12:05am �� Later... with Jools Holland 1:10am ��Taken 2:35am ��BBC News

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm �� 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Pollard makes a surprising decision about Val and Brenda. Alicia prepares to reveal her true feelings to David. Charity agrees to consider having another baby. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Will Dev catch Karl and Sunita in bed? Tyrone is torn as Kirsty opens up about her past. Peter waits nervously as a desolate Simon speaks up. 8:00pm �� Poms in Paradise Scottish butcher Ian is the haggis king of St Andrews Day, former commando Simon has brought a little bit of London to Sydney, and it is a dog’s life for vet Sarah - in more ways than one. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Karl and Sunita are caught out. Leanne snaps when a desperate Carla offers her a bribe. Maria is left red-faced as Marcus gets the wrong idea. 9:00pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers Morgan talks to comedian Jimmy Tarbuck about his life and 50-year career. The comic legend opens up about how he coped on the saddest night of his showbiz career: while Jimmy was hosting a TV show live from the London Palladium, one of the country’s best-loved comedians, Tommy Cooper, collapsed on stage and later died. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Soccer Aid 11:05pm �� Barb Wire

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 12:35pm �� The Devil at 4 O’Clock 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Callum wakes up to discover that Martha made it home in the wee small hours. He is hopeful that he can escape to the US soon, but is distracted by a distraught Lacey. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:30pm �� Unreported World 7:55pm �� London Dreaming Our Paralympic hopefuls come together in this beautiful and emotive film to share their thoughts and feelings as they travel through London at night to arrive at their Paralympic venues and contemplate the stage where they all hope to make history. 8:00pm ��Come Dine with Me 9:00pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats 9:30pm ��Very Important People 10:00pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11:05pm ��Stand Up for the Week 11:50pm ��Rhod Gilbert and the Award-Winning Mince Pie 12:55am ��4thought.tv 1:00am ��Paralympic World Cup Highlights 1:55am ��Random Acts 2:00am �� My Name is Earl 2:45am ��Dirty Sexy Money

Piers Morgan´s Life Stories ITV 1 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Jimmy Tarbuck joins host, Piers Morgan, to look back at his life and fifty year career. The comic legend opens up about how he coped on the night he calls “the saddest of my career”, when he was hosting a TV show live from the London Palladium and Tommy Cooper collapsed on stage and later died. Tarby, who was at primary school with John Lennon and George Harrison also talks about life in Liverpool in the swinging sixties and how he was dubbed “the fifth Beatle”.

Jimmy Tarbuck

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2 5 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm ��Chinese Food in Minutes 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:15pm ��Thirst 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm ��Mega Builders 9:00pm �� The Mentalist 10:00pm ��Castle 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:50pm �� Inside Hollywood

7:00pm ��Doctor Who Surrounded by an army of Weeping Angels, the Doctor must escape through the forest vault before facing a final, petrifying challenge... 7:45pm ��Doctor Who Desiccated corpses and terror fill the canals as the Doctor takes Amy and Rory to 16th century Venice. 8:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 9:00pm �� Lip Service 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:40pm �� Family Guy 12:05am �� American Dad! 12:25am �� American Dad! 12:45am �� Lip Service 1:45am ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2:30am ��Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 3:00am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid?

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:50am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 1:00pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:25am ��Heartbeat 7:20am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:20am ��Terry and June 9:00am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 10:05am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:10am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 1:15pm ��Heartbeat 2:15pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:15pm ��On the Buses 4:50pm ��On the Buses 5:25pm ��Terry and June

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm ��American Idol 11:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 12:30am ��Peter Andre: My Life 1:30am ��Ladette to Lady 2:20am �� Coronation Street

6:00pm �� Heartbeat 7:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��The Darling Buds of May 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm ��Murder in Suburbia 11:05pm ��Twilight 1:00am �� Kavanagh Q.C. 2:45am �� Carry on Laughing

6:45pm �� Come Dine with Me Battling it out in Oldham are student Vicki Shea, ‘cultured’ am-dram director James Schofield, cocktail barman Ben Brooks, and self-confessed man-eater Kathy Howard. 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��Vanilla Sky 11:40pm �� The Secret History of Eurovision 1:30am �� Undercover Boss USA 2:30am ��Grand Designs

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 6:50am ��The Saint 7:50am �� Minder 8:50am ��Tommy Cooper :55am �� Quantum Leap 10:55am ��The Saint 11:55am �� Minder 12:55pm �� Police Stop! 2:00pm ��Freddie Flintoff Versus the World 3:00pm �� Cricket 7:25pm �� Euro 2012 8:00pm �� Cycling: Tour Series 9:00pm ��Cops with Cameras 10:00pm �� The Exorcist 12:25am ��Eden Lake 2:20am ��Sports Mash: Taking the Mic 2:45am �� Film File 2:55am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

m ay

7:35am ��FXM Presents 8:00am ��Big Trouble in Little China An all-American trucker encounters supernatural goings-on while trying to rescue a friend’s fiancee from the clutches of an immortal sorcerer in Los Angeles’ Chinatown. 9:45am ��Dressed to Kill Private eye Michael Shayne uses 25-year-old clues to solve a double murder in a theater. 11:00am....................................Just Off Broadway While serving as a juror, private detective Mike Shayne tries to convince his fellow jurors that the wrong suspect is on trial for murder. 12:10pm...............................The Foxes of Harrow An Irish gambler rises socially, marries an aristocrat and builds a grand estate in 1820s New Orelans. 2:10pm..............................Miracle on 34th Street A woman raises her daughter not to believe in the magic of Christmas or the existence of Santa Claus, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a white-bearded pensioner who claims to be the man himself. 4:10pm......... Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and, while his family jets off to Florida, he finds himself heading for New York. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel - until he bumps into a pair of very familiar burglars with an axe to grind. 6:15pm ��Home Alone 3 Cheeky eight-year-old Alex Pruitt is delighted to be given a remote-controlled toy car by his neighbour, a grouchy elderly woman who’s just returned from a holiday. 8:00pm ��Horton Hears a Who! In the jungle of Nool, a kindly elephant hears a cry of help coming from a speck of dust and discovers the miniscule city of Whoville. As he tries to help the Mayor of the town and its citizens, the people around him begin to question his sanity, in particular the evil Kangaroo who seeks to incite the animals against the do-gooder. 10:00pm ��Ice Age 2 Sid the sloth, Manny the mammoth and Diego the sabre-toothed tiger realise their happy existence is about to come to an abrupt end thanks to rising temperatures.

Editor Recommends

Lip Service BBC 3 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Tess has more than just first night opening nerves on her mind; Sam is under pressure at work and; Sadie’s weakness for temptation leads her into hot water in the final episode of BBC Three’s seductive relationship drama. It’s the morning of Tess’s big theatre debut but it’s affairs of the heart which dominate after Lexy gives her an unexpected gift which she takes as a token of affection. Later that night, her opening night

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� The Landscape Man 11:05am �� North to Alaska 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm �� Undercover Boss USA

tv guide th

performance is threatened by the sabotaging actions of co-stars Nora and Hugh. Elsewhere, Sam’s under pressure to lead a major drugs bust but her partner Ryder doubts her nerves will hold. But as events unravel, Sam’s pride threatens to put her team in danger. And at the art gallery, Sadie can’t resist temptation. But little does she realise her actions will put lover Lauren in a compromising position and threaten to reveal their affair.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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s at u r d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 10:00am ��Saturday Kitchen 11:30am ��Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 12:00pm �� BBC News 12:05pm ��BBC London News 12:10pm �� F1: Grand Prix Qualifying Monaco Grand Prix - Qualifying. Jake Humphrey presents live coverage from Monte Carlo as the drivers contest grid positions for the sixth Grand Prix of the season. 2:15pm ��Golf PGA Championship. Hazel Irvine introduces live action from the third round at Wentworth, as the players compete for the most prestigious trophy on the European Tour. 4:50pm �� Pointless Celebrities 5:40pm �� BBC News 5:50pm ��BBC London News 6:00pm �� My Family Ben and Susan go off to a couples’ retreat for a weekend - at which they prove to be less than ideal guests - leaving Janey and Michael vying for the affections of Michael’s new boyfriend. 6:30pm ��The Voice UK The Semi-Final. It is The Voice UK semi-final. Superstar coaches Sir Tom Jones, will.i.am, Jessie J and Danny O’Donoghue have only two singers left on their teams - all fighting it out for one place in the final. 7:50pm ��The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 8:00pm ��Eurovision Song Contest 2012 Graham Norton provides commentary on the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest from Baku in Azerbaijan, winners of the 2011 contest. Engelbert Humperdinck flies the flag for the United Kingdom, performing first with his soaring ballad Love Will Set You Free. 11:15pm ��BBC News 11:35pm �� The Girl Next Door High school nerd Matthew Kidman falls for girl next door Danielle, only to discover she’s a porn star. Her sleazy manager shows up to take her back to Vegas. 1:15am ��Weatherview

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Barney’s Barrier Reef 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Alesha’s Street Dance Stars 8:35am ��The Slammer 9:00am ��Blue Peter’s Big Olympic Tour 9:30am ��The Ministry of Curious Stuff 10:00am ��Animals at Work 10:35am ��Splatalot 11:00am ��Copycats 11:30am �� Ooglies 11:45am �� MOTD Kickabout 12:05pm ��A Double Life 1:45pm �� The Merchant of Venice 3:50pm �� Escape to the Country 4:50pm ��Golf 6:00pm �� Flog It! 6:45pm ��Dad’s Army Captain Mainwaring sets up an observation post in the lighthouse, thus providing ample opportunity for disaster. 7:15pm �� RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh, Nicki Chapman and Chris Beardshaw round up their glorious week at the Chelsea Flower Show by enjoying the famous plant sell off. 8:15pm ��Arts Troubleshooter Arts Troubleshooter is a two part series following the work of world renowned arts expert Michael Lynch at two unique arts organisations whose futures are under threat. 9:15pm �� A Picture of London This is the story of the city as it is rarely told: through the eyes of the very people who saw that change. 10:15pm ��Dara O Briain This is the Show 11:15pm �� TOTP2 Goes Eurovision! 12:15am �� Brooklyn Rules 1:45am �� The Pope’s Toilet

6:00am ��Signed Stories 6:10am �� Engie Benjy 6:20am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:30am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:35am �� Fluffy Gardens 6:40am ��The Hive 6:50am ��The Hive 7:00am �� Poppy Cat 7:10am ��Sooty 7:25am �� X-Men 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am ��Sonny with a Chance 8:25am �� Saturday Cookbook 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 10:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 11:20am ��The Real Housewives of New York City 12:15pm ��Murder, She Wrote 1:15pm ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 1:40pm ��ITV News and Weather 1:45pm �� Agatha Christie’s Dead Man’s Folly 3:30pm ��Goldfinger Secret agent James Bond dodges bullets and bowler hats as he investigates the evil empire of Auric Goldfinger, a ruthless and dangerous man with a penchant for gold bullion. 5:35pm ��London Tonight 5:45pm ��ITV News and Weather 6:00pm ��You’ve Been Framed! 7:00pm ��International Football Norway v England. Adrian Chiles presents coverage of this international friendly. England start life under new manager Roy Hodgson as they play Norway in a friendly at the Ullevaal Stadium in Oslo. 10:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:15pm ��International Football Highlights 10:40pm ��The Matrix Keanu Reeves plays Neo, a computer hacker who discovers that the world around him is a computer simulation called the Matrix. 1:05am �� The Store

6:10am ��Sali Mali 6:15am �� The Hoobs 7:05am ��British GT 7:30am �� Mobil 1 The Grid 7:55am ��The Morning Line 8:55am ��Intro 9:10am �� T4 Movie Special 9:45am ��Made in Chelsea 10:50am ��The Big Bang Theory 11:30am �� The Simpsons 12:00pm ��Paralympic World Cup Live The Paralympics are less than one hundred days away and this year’s BT Paralympic World Cup -the world’s leading annual disability sports festival - is one of the last major events before the Games begin. 1:55pm ��Channel 4 Racing 3:55pm �� Come Dine with Me 4:25pm �� Come Dine with Me 4:55pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:25pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm �� Channel 4 News 6:30pm �� The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Frodo and Sam take Gollum prisoner and continue on to Mordor on the mission to destroy The One Ring. 10:00pm �� X-Men: The Last Stand When a mutant called Leech produces an antibody that cures all mutants, billionaire Warren Worthington II, driven by shame of his mutant son, kidnaps Leech to manufacture the cure and rid the world of mutants. 12:00am ��4thought.tv 12:10am ��Paralympic World Cup Highlights Today was Finals day at the BT Paralympic World Cup. After three days of wheelchair basketball and seven-a-side football group matches, the bronze and gold medal games were decided. 1:15am ��Stand Up for the Week 2:00am �� The Edukators Austrian director Hans Weingartner’s film is a witty drama about protesting against globalisation that mixes in a kidnapping, a love triangle and a test of true friendship.

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2 6 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:10am ��The Mr Men Show 9:25am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:35am ��The Milkshake! Show 10:00am ��Meerkat Manor 10:30am ��The Gadget Show: World Tour 11:30am ��Police Interceptors 12:30pm ��Emergency Bikers 1:30pm �� Tall Man Riding 3:10pm �� Man From God’s Country 4:40pm ��Unforgiven 6:55pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm ��NCIS 9:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:00pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:50pm ��Forensic Files 12:15am ��Super Casino

6:00am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 8:10am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 11:00am ��Peter Andre: My Life 12:00pm ��The Exclusives 1:00pm ��American Idol 3:45pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 4:45pm ��Free Willy 7:00pm �� Happy Feet A penguin is cast out by his colony because he is unable to sing, but his tap-dancing skills and new friends enable him to make a triumphant return. 9:00pm �� American Pie: The Wedding 11:00pm �� Britain’s Got More Talent 12:00am ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12:30am ��Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1:00am ��The Only Way is Essex 1:40am ��The Only Way is Essex 2:15am ��Life’s Funniest Moments

7:00pm ��Doctor Who Five years have passed since Amy Pond last saw the Doctor. But when one day he reappears in her life, she faces a terrible decision. 7:45pm ��Doctor Who Confidential 8:00pm ��Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May set out to buy second-hand convertibles and discover some of the unusual pitfalls to watch out for when picking up a used car bargain. 9:00pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 9:50pm ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments 11:20pm �� Family Guy 12:45am �� American Dad! 1:05am �� American Dad! 1:30am ��Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2:15am ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments

6:00am �� Carry on Laughing 6:30am �� Murder, She Wrote 7:30am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:05am ��Goodnight Sweetheart 8:40am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 9:45am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:55am ��The Railway Children 1:00pm �� Black Beauty 2:45pm ��Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of the Baskervilles 4:55pm ��Agatha Christie’s Marple 6:55pm �� Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8:00pm ��Doc Martin Doc encourages Bert Large to give up plumbing and to open a restaurant. 9:00pm �� Lewis 11:00pm �� Steptoe and Son Ride Again 1:00am �� Goodnight Sweetheart 1:30am �� Goodnight Sweetheart 2:00am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

International Football Norway v England

ITV 1 - 7:00 - 10:00 pm England start life under new manager Roy Hodgson as they play Norway at the Ullevaal Stadium in Oslo. Adrian Chiles is joined by Gareth Southgate, Peter Reid and Roy Keane. Hodgson will be looking for a positive start that can also act as

a springboard for England’s Euro 2012 campaign. The new boss only has two friendlies in which to finalise his plans for the upcoming tournament. Commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.

8:55am �� Time Team 10:00am �� Time Team 11:05am �� Time Team 12:15pm �� River Cottage Bites 12:30pm ��Rooster Cogburn 2:35pm �� River Cottage Bites 2:50pm �� Grand Designs 3:55pm �� Grand Designs 5:00pm ��Location, Location, Location 5:40pm �� Relocation, Relocation 6:55pm ��Relocation, Relocation 8:05pm ��Kirstie and Phil’s Embarrassing Bits 9:00pm ��Time Team Special 10:00pm ��The Ancient Skeletons of Peru 11:10pm ��Grand Designs 12:20am ��Grand Designs 1:25am ��Time Team Special 2:30am ��The Ancient Skeletons of Peru

6:45am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 7:30am ��The Saint 8:30am �� The Big Match Revisited 9:30am �� Cycling: Tour Series 10:30am ��Motorsport UK 11:30am ��DTM 12:00pm ��Police, Camera, Action! 12:35pm �� The Sweeney 1:40pm �� Minder 2:45pm ��Stargate 5:10pm ��Euro 2012 5:45pm �� Every Which Way But Loose 8:00pm �� Minder 9:00pm ��Blazing Saddles Irreverent spoof western about a black sheriff hired by a crooked speculator to drive citizens out of an all-white town which lies in the path of a railroad. 11:00pm ��Rugby Highlights 12:00am �� The Magnificent Seven Ride! 2:00am ��Police, Camera, Action!

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6:30am ��Marley and Me While deciding whether to have a baby, newlywed couple John and Jenny Grogan learn lessons along the way as they try to cope with their new, highly strung, boisterous and energetic labrador puppy. 9:00am ��Dying Young An aimless woman becomes the nurse and constant companion of a wealthy but lonely leukaemia sufferer. Before long she realises she is in love with him, and they resolve to make the most of their limited time together. 11:00am �� A Farewell to Arms World War One drama based on the novel by Ernest Hemingway. American Red Cross ambulance driver Rock Hudson falls in love with British nurse Jennifer Jones while recovering from a terrible accident. 1:35pm ��Hemingway’s Adventures of a Young Man Drama loosely based on the semiautobiographical stories by Ernest Hemingway, starring Richard Beymer, Paul Newman and Arthur Kennedy. 4:00pm �� The Brothers McMullen Powerful drama about the developing relationship between three Irish-American brothers reunited following the death of their father. The trio’s opposing views on love and life soon cause conflict, and they initially struggle to find common ground on which to forge a strong family bond. 6:00pm �� The Edge A plane carrying billionaire Charles Morse (Anthony Hopkins) and photographer Robert Green (Alec Baldwin) crashes in the Alaskan wilderness, forcing the duo into a desperate battle to stave off a hungry bear stalking the territory. 8:00pm ��Arlington Road Suspicion and paranoia rule the day in this well-honed thriller, starring Jeff Bridges as a mild-mannered professor who becomes convinced there’s something not quite right about his new neighbour. It’s nothing he can put his finger on, but he decides to delve into his past regardless - only to get a nasty shock. 10:00pm �� The Wrestler An aging wrestler tries to reconnect with his estranged daughter and get his battered body in shape for a rematch of one of his most-lauded fights.

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s u n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:00am ��The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am �� Live Pentecost Praise From Brighton 11:00am ��Sunday Politics 12:05pm ��F1: Grand Prix Monaco. Jake Humphrey presents live coverage of the race around the iconic street circuit in Monte Carlo. Sebastian Vettel converted pole position into first place last season, ahead of Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso. 3:30pm ��The Queen’s Palaces 4:30pm ��Points of View 4:45pm ��Songs of Praise 5:20pm ��RHS Chelsea Flower Show 5:50pm �� BBC News 6:05pm ��BBC London News 6:15pm �� Countryfile 7:15pm ��The Voice UK The Semi-Final Results. It is the eliminations again and this time there is more at stake than ever... a place in The Voice UK live final. 8:00pm �� British Academy Television Awards Dara O Briain hosts the British Academy Television Awards from the Royal Festival Hall in London. The show kicks off with all the glamour from the red carpet as the stars arrive for one of the most prestigious TV awards ceremonies of the year. 10:00pm ��BBC News 10:25pm �� Have I Got a Bit More News for You 11:10pm �� Room 101 11:50pm ��The Football League Show Manish Bhasin brings down the curtain on the 2011/12 npower Football League season, with action from the play-off finals at Wembley from Leagues One and Two. 12:40am ��Weatherview 12:45am �� Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission In this two-part documentary, Ewan McGregor is on a mission to the ends of the earth to immunise some of the hardest-toreach children in the world. 1:45am ��Holby City 2:45am ��Fake Britain

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Barney’s Barrier Reef 7:30am ��Dennis and Gnasher 7:40am ��The Scooby-Doo Show 8:05am ��Scoop 8:30am ��Wingin’ It 8:50am ��Shaun the Sheep 9:00am ��Friday Download 10:00am �� Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:30am �� Great British Menu 12:00pm �� As You Like It 2:00pm �� Flog It! 2:30pm ��Golf PGA Championship. Hazel Irvine presents live coverage of the fourth round at Wentworth. The final day in 2011 culminated in a dramatic play-off between Luke Donald and Lee Westwood. 6:00pm ��Rowing World Cup -Lucerne Coverage from Switzerland as the world’s best rowers continue their Olympic preparations at one of the sport’s flagship events. 7:00pm ��Singapore 1942: End of Empire A 70th-anniversary television event telling the story of how the fall of Singapore in 1942 shattered myths, brought an empire to its knees, and changed the destiny of millions of people. 8:00pm �� Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve This stage of Simon Reeve’s journey around the spectacular Indian Ocean takes him from Sri Lanka to Bangladesh. 9:00pm �� Coast In Newlyn, Nick Crane re-lives an unsung feat of British seamanship. In 1854, the smallest boat ever to attempt the journey, The Mystery, set sail to make the 12,000 mile voyage to Melbourne. 10:00pm �� The Road 11:40pm �� Episodes 12:10am ��Grandma’s House 12:40am �� Tadpole

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6:00am ��Boblins 6:10am ��Fireman Sam 6:20am �� Olly the Little White Van 6:30am ��Jake and the Neverland Pirates 6:45am ��Jake and the Neverland Pirates 7:00am �� Poppy Cat 7:10am ��Tati’s Hotel 7:25am ��Matt Hatter Chronicles 7:45am �� Fleabag Monkeyface 8:00am �� Big Time Rush 8:25am ��Dinner Date 9:25am ��ITV News 9:30am ��Ade in Britain 10:30am ��May the Best House Win 11:30am �� Long Lost Family 12:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 12:40pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 1:40pm ��Murder, She Wrote 2:45pm ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the opening day’s action from Stade Roland Garros as the men’s and women’s first round matches begin. 5:30pm ��London Tonight 5:45pm ��ITV News and Weather 6:00pm �� Soccer Aid Dermot O’Leary and Kirsty Gallacher introduce live action from the fourth Soccer Aid match in aid of UNICEF as a host of celebrities and footballing legends take part in this charity event from Old Trafford. 10:00pm �� ITV News and Weather 10:20pm �� Smugglers Documentary about the trade in counterfeit goods, now worth an estimated £1 billion a year in Britain. 11:15pm �� Rugby Highlights Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield present the Aviva Premiership play-off final. Twickenham is the venue as Leicester and Harlequins play out the final act of the season for the right to become champions. 12:15am �� The Store 2:15am ��River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade is on a quest to Africa’s Rift Valley, where fishermen have one of the most dangerous jobs in existence.

6:20am �� The Hoobs 6:45am �� The Hoobs 7:10am �� Paralympic World Cup Highlights 8:05am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am ��Frasier 9:30am ��Frasier 10:00am ��Sunday Brunch 12:30pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:00pm ��The Big Bang Theory 1:30pm �� The Simpsons 2:00pm �� The Simpsons 2:35pm ��Volcano 4:35pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:35pm ��St. Trinian’s Directors Oliver Parker and Barnaby Thompson’s overhaul of the comedy franchise about the rebellious pupils of a girls’ boarding school stars Talulah Riley, Rupert Everett and Gemma Arterton. Annabelle Fritton, daughter of dodgy art dealer Carnaby, enrols at the shabby country boarding school, St Trinian’s, run by her aunt Camilla. 7:25pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm �� Nathan Stephens: Warrior Paralympic javelin world champion Nathan Stephens takes the viewer on a journey through London to the iconic Trafalgar Square. 8:00pm ��Come Dine with Me Jubilee Special. Four monarchy-mad celebrities host a Jubilee-themed dinner party. First to host is EastEnders actress Cheryl Fergison. 9:00pm �� The Lovely Bones After bringing Middle-earth to life Peter Jackson turned his attention to Alice Sebold’s best-selling novel. From difficult source material, Jackson’s contemporary fantasy drama sees the recently deceased Susie Salmon watch the aftermath of her brutal murder from on high as her killer prepares for his next attack. 11:35pm �� A History of Violence 1:20am �� Camelot 2:15am �� Journey Through the Night 2:25am ��Hollyoaks Omnibus

Soccer Aid 2012 ITV 1 - 6:00 - 10:00 pm

Soccer Aid, transmitting live on ITV1, has raised over £7.5 million pounds for UNICEF, the world’s leading children’s organisation, since its inception in 2006. The match brings together some of the biggest names in sport and showbiz to compete in two teams, England and Rest Of The World, for the chance to walk away with the coveted title of Soccer Aid Champion, 2012.

The brainchild of Robbie Williams, Jonathan Wilkes and UNICEF UK, this year’s main event will be hosted, live from Old Trafford, by Dermot O’Leary with Kirsty Gallacher reporting pitch side. Dave Berry will capture the reaction from the game on Soccer Aid: Extra Time on ITV4 after the match. Once again, Robbie Williams will captain the England team with Welsh movie star Michael Sheen

leading the Rest of the World. Players for the star studded Rest of the World squad include Will Ferrell, Gerard Butler, Mike Myers, James McAvoy, Sergio Pizzarno, Patrick Kielty and Gordon Ramsay alongside professional players Hernan Crespo, Edwin van der Sar, Roy Keane, Ruud Van Nistelrooy and Jaap Stam. The team will be managed by legendary Scot, Kenny Dalglish.

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2 7 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:10am ��The Mr. Men Show 9:20am �� Roary the Racing Car 9:35am ��The Milkshake! Show 10:00am............................................Meerkat Manor 10:25am �� Grey’s Anatomy 11:20am..................... The Restaurant Inspector 12:20pm �� Patch Adams 2:35pm ��Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 4:05pm �� The Hunchback of Notre Dame 5:55pm ��Elizabeth II: A Diamond Jubilee Celebration 6:55pm �� 5 News Weekend 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm ��Once Upon a Time 9:00pm ��Britain’s Funniest Comedy Characters 11:50pm �� Comedy Kings 12:20am.......................... The Walking Dead 1:15am ��Super Casino

6:20am ��Gossip Girl 7:10am ��Emmerdale Omnibus 10:05am ��Coronation Street Omnibus 12:30pm ��Winners and Losers 1:25pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 2:30pm ��The Only Way is Essex 4:00pm ��Britain’s Got More Talent 5:00pm �� Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home 7:00pm ��About a Boy Adaptation of the Nick Hornby novel about the friendship that develops between a bright but awkward 12-year-old boy and a wayward thirtysomething man masquerading as a lone parent in a bid to seduce single mothers. 9:00pm �� Benidorm 10:00pm ��The Only Way is Essex 10:45pm �� The Exclusives 11:45pm �� Die Another Day 2:15am ��The Only Way is Essex 2:50am ��American Idol

7:00pm �� F1: Grand Prix 7:50pm �� Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Eccentric Captain Sparrow is on a mission to rescue the Governer’s beautiful daughter, Elizabeth, and his ship, the Black Pearl, both of which have been captured by curseridden pirate, Captain Barbossa. 10:00pm �� Family Guy When Quagmire ends up in hospital, his sister Brenda and her boyfriend Jeff rush to Quahog to nurse him back to health. 10:20pm �� Family Guy 10:45pm �� American Dad! 11:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 12:00am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 12:30am ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments 2:00am ��England’s Worst Ever Football Team 2:55am ��Russell Howard’s Good News

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� Murder, She Wrote 7:10am ��Kavanagh Q.C. 8:50am ��Heartbeat 9:55am ��Heartbeat 10:55am ��Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of the Baskervilles 1:10pm �� Vanity Fair 3:55pm ��Rosemary and Thyme 5:30pm ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the opening day’s action from Roland Garros as the Men’s and Women’s first round matches begin. 8:00pm �� Midsomer Murders In the quiet rural village of Ferne Bassett, an elderly resident is found drowned after a violent attack. 10:00pm ��Wycliffe 11:05pm �� Cracker 12:20am ��Twilight 2:00am ��Torn

Come Dine With Me Jubilee Special

Channel 4 - 8:00 - 9:00 pm Four monarchy-mad celebrities host a Jubilee-themed dinner party. First to host is EastEnders actress Cheryl Fergison. An inexperienced cook, Cheryl leaves her guests - exAtomic Kitten Kerry Katona, Give Us a Clue host Lionel Blair, and her majesty’s favourite ventriloquist Keith Harris - questioning her bizarre menu choices.

Lionel is the next host, and his evening ‘By Royal Appointment’ isn’t quite as sophisticated as he would have liked, marred by Keith’s relentless joke telling and Lionel’s constant name-dropping. Next up Kerry Katona hosts a pyjama party with a ‘royal’ appearance. The final host Keith’s dinner theme is ‘At Her Majesty’s Service’.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Scrapheap Challenge 11:05am �� River Cottage Bites 11:15am ��Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 11:50am ��Four in a Bed 12:30pm ��Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4:40pm ��Jamie at Home 5:10pm �� Come Dine with Me 5:45pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:15pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:20pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Jamie’s Great Britain 9:00pm �� Jamie Does... 10:00pm �� Father Ted 10:35pm �� Father Ted 11:05pm �� More Sex Please, We’re British 12:15am �� Jamie Does... 1:20am ��Jamie’s Great Britain 2:25am �� Father Ted

6:00am ��Film File 6:10am �� World’s Wildest Police Videos 7:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 7:30am �� The Sweeney 8:30am �� Minder 9:30am ��French Open 2:45pm �� Cricket Dlf Indian Premier League Final Live. Presented by Matt Smith and Shonali Nagrani with Dominic Cork. The Indian Premier League tournament reaches its climax with the showpiece final in Chennai. 8:00pm ��Rugby Highlights 9:00pm ��Cops with Cameras 10:00pm ��Soccer Aid 11:00pm ��The Enforcer 1:00am �� French Open Tennis 2012 Highlights 2:05am �� Film File 2:15am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

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8:00am �� The Brothers McMullen Powerful drama about the developing relationship between three Irish-American brothers reunited following the death of their father. The trio’s opposing views on love and life soon cause conflict, and they initially struggle to find common ground on which to forge a strong family bond. 9:40am �� Tonight We Raid Calais An English commando spotlights a Nazi munitions plant for RAF bombers in France. 11:00am ��To the Shores of Tripoli An arrogant playboy joins the Marines, woos a nurse, clashes with his sergeant and shapes up. 12:30pm ��The Longest Day Epic World War Two adventure chronicling the planning and execution of the Allied landings in Normandy on June 6, 1944. The film recreates battle scenes on an awesome scale, with the black and white photography giving it a documentary-style look. 3:30pm ��For the Boys Bette Midler and James Caan star as wartime entertainers boosting the morale of American troops overseas, but their stormy private relationship is a far cry from their on-stage harmony. 6:00pm ��The Siege A superb cast - including Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis and Annette Bening - are the main reasons for tuning into this otherwise middling thriller. New York is placed under martial law after a series of bombings causes widespread panic, prompting a desperate bid to find those responsible before fullscale civic unrest takes hold of the city. 8:00pm ��The Marine A soldier is forcibly discharged from duty after violating orders, and soon has a personal battle to fight when his wife is kidnapped by the leader of a gang of diamond thieves, who leads the enraged soldier on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness. 10:00pm �� Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem The extraterrestrial monsters battle it out again in this sci-fi action sequel. When a spaceship crash results in a small town in Colorado being infested with aliens, a predator arrives to hunt them - and any humans who get in his way.

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m o n d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Cowboy Trap 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm ��Prank Patrol Down Under 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Help! My Supply Teacher is Magic 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��How to Beat Pain Dr Jack Kreindler and Professor Greg Whyte tackle pain - one of the most common complaints in Britain. 8:00pm ��EastEnders Lucy decides to throw a party to celebrate the fact that Mandy is out of her life, but it falls flat when she makes a shocking discovery about Ian’s whereabouts. 8:30pm ��Euro 2012 Stadiums of Hate - Panorama. With just days to go before the kick-off of the Euro 2012 championships, Panorama reveals shocking new evidence of racist violence and antisemitism at the heart of Polish and Ukrainian football. 9:00pm ��Chatsworth 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:35pm �� A Question of Sport 11:05pm ��The One Griff Rhys Jones 11:35pm �� The Graham Norton Show 12:25am ��Weatherview 12:30am �� Divine Women 1:30am �� Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 2:00am �� Great British Railway Journeys 2:30am �� The 1952 Show

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 8:45am �� Big City Park 9:00am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Woolly and Tig 10:35am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:45am ��Waybuloo 11:05am �� In the Night Garden 11:35am ��A Walk in the Sun 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Springwatch 9:00pm ��Afghanistan 10:00pm ��Sounds of the 70s 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� Dam Busters: The Race to Smash the German Dams 12:20am ��BBC News

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm ��May the Best House Win 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Val gets more than she bargains for from Alicia when she insults David. Ashley tries to put on a brave face at his new job in a burger bar. 7:30pm ��Coronation Street Leanne chooses an opportune moment to confront Peter and Carla. Eileen is surprised by a visit from Paul on the day of Lesley’s funeral. 8:00pm ��The Queen and I As Britain prepares to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee, this two-part documentary focuses on home movie footage of the Queen and the public celebrations of her reign recorded by members of the public. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Paul jumps to Eileen’s defence in the face of hostility. Peter blames Carla for damaging his chances of winning Simon. 9:00pm �� 56 Up In this edition, remaining participants Andrew, John, Suzy, Jackie, Lynn, Sue, Tony, Paul, Symon, Nick, Peter, Neil and Bruce are now 56 years old. How are they facing up to getting older and the changes in their lives? 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm ��Born in the USSR: 28 Up Now aged 28, they give a personal insight into life in Russia today. 12:05am �� Jackpot247 2:35am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Liz Johnson ‘Night Swimmer’ 7:10am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��Four in a Bed 12:30pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 1:00pm ��The One That Got Away 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Leanne worries about Doug’s mood but isn’t prepared for his outburst. A chance encounter with her dad leaves Maddie shaken, but can she compose herself before sitting her final exam? 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Dispatches The Real Mr and Mrs Assad. Channel 4 Dispatches reveals a portrait of a golden couple who have become global hate figures. 8:30pm ��Gok Cooks Chinese In this second programme Gok shares his family’s favourite recipes, starting with his own take on his aunt’s super healthy pork and ginger soup, which he calls ‘health, wealth and happiness in a bowl’. Gok pays another visit to Leicester to cook with his father, Poppa Wan. 9:00pm �� The Secret Millionaire 10:00pm �� 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:50pm �� The Hoarder Next Door 11:55pm ��Random Acts 12:00am ��Embarrassing Bodies 1:00am �� My Big Fat Fetish 1:55am �� Empire Records

The Queen & I ITV 1 - 8:00 - 8:30 pm “It always amazes me about the Queen, how interested and amused she is on these public occasions. She still manages to give the impression that this is a really special occasion for her, as well as for those admiring her.”

Denis Tomlin - Former Teacher, Solihull School

For 60 years, the Queen’s reign has been recorded, not just by news cameras, but in thousands of home movies

shot by ordinary members of the public. For decades many of these amateur films have remained unseen in attics, cine club collections and film archives. Put together, these amateur movies provide a unique and often surprising portrait of an ever-changing Britain and our Queen. In episode one, we meet some of the people whose brush with royalty was caught on film. On 23rd March 2012, the

Queen and Prince Phillip were in Manchester for the second day of The Diamond Jubilee Tour, and the streets were lined with well wishers. It was also a big day for John Canning and his fiancée Frances who were getting married at Manchester Town Hall. When John found out that the Queen was due to visit on the day of their wedding, he wrote to Buckingham Palace to see if the she would care to join their guest list.

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2 8 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm ��Highland Emergency 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm ��The Mentalist 3:05pm �� Winter Solstice 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm �� The Gadget Show: World Tour 9:00pm �� Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 10:00pm �� The Walking Dead 11:00pm �� The Wicker Man 12:55am ��Super Casino

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Coronation Street 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Coronation Street 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Gossip Girl 9:00pm �� Die Another Day 11:40pm �� Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12:10am �� The Vampire Diaries 1:10am �� Coronation Street 2:05am �� Emmerdale

7:00pm �� The Voice UK 8:30pm �� The Voice UK 9:00pm �� Britain’s Hidden Homeless When she was 19, Mercury Prize-winning rap artist Speech Debelle walked out of her family home and became homeless for three years. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? In Manchester, Ellie tries out the WAG look and POD goes into makeunder overdrive. First up is Adrienne, who is a tanned WAG wannabe - but the trouble is that her boyfriend is a plumber. 11:00pm �� Family Guy Peter convinces Brian to move in with Jillian. 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad! 12:05am �� American Dad! 12:25am �� Britain’s Hidden Homeless 1:25am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 1:55am ��Are My Fake Breasts Safe? 2:55am ��Don’t Blame the Dog

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��A Place in the Sun 10:30am ��Country House Rescue 11:35am ��The History of Mr Polly 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm ��River Cottage Every Day

6:00am ��Heartbeat 6:50am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 7:50am ��On the Buses 8:50am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 9:55am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 11:00am ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:10pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:15pm ��On the Buses 5:20pm ��Terry and June

6:00am ��Tommy Cooper 6:25am �� Minder 7:35am �� Police Stop! 8:35am �� Quantum Leap 9:30am ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the second day’s action from Roland Garros as the Men’s and Women’s first round matches continue.

6:00pm �� Heartbeat 7:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm �� Appropriate Adult 11:30pm ��Wycliffe 12:40am ��Life 1:25am ��Jeeves and Wooster 2:20am �� Film File 2:30am ��Teleshopping

Afghanistan: The Great Game BBC 2 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm Afghanistan: one of the most isolated and barren landscapes on earth is a strange place for an Empire or Superpower to invade. But for three of the greatest powers the world has seen, it became an unlikely target and an enduring obsession. The 19th century British invasions into Afghanistan, immortalised by Rudyard Kipling as ‘The Great Game’, ended in huge loss of life

and British retreat, and set a template for the perils of incursion in this mountainous country. In this two-part series, author, journalist and former Deputy Governor during the coalition’s occupation of Iraq, Rory Stewart MP travels to Afghanistan to uncover the fears, the paranoia and perceived threats that led three very different Superpowers: Britain, Russia and the United States into

Afghanistan from the 19th century to the present day. In this first film, Rory tells the story of the decision-making that led to the first British invasion of Afghanistan, and the three Anglo-Afghan wars fought in this era. He reveals Afghanistan’s unlikely reaction to this period and an Afghan-elite’s futile attempt to impose westerninspired ideas and modernity on the country.

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm ��Grand Designs 10:00pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11:05pm ��The Secret Millionaire 12:10am ��Grand Designs 1:15am ��Grand Designs 2:20am ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

8:00pm �� Cycling: Tour Series Aberystwyth. Ned Boulting presents action from the fifth race of the city centre series which today comes from Aberystwyth. 9:00pm �� TT 2012 John Mcguinness Tt Legend. As a build up to this year’s TT a look at the career of the man who has dominated the event, the current King of the Mountains with a record breaking 17 wins - John McGuinness. 10:00pm �� The Hitcher 11:45pm ��Stargate 2:10am �� French Open Tennis 2012 Highlights

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7:00am �� The Marine A soldier is forcibly discharged from duty after violating orders, and soon has a personal battle to fight when his wife is kidnapped by the leader of a gang of diamond thieves. 9:00am......................................................... The Siege New York is placed under martial law after a series of bombings causes widespread panic, prompting a desperate bid to find those responsible before full-scale civic unrest takes hold of the city. 11:00am �� In the Meantime, Darling An Army officer’s bride has trouble adjusting to life on the home front during World War II. 12:15pm ��Man Hunt A big-game hunter fails in his attempt to assassinate Hitler and escapes to London, where he is pursued by a ruthless group of Nazis bent on revenge. 2:00pm ��The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel On returning in disgrace to his homeland, it becomes increasingly clear to the commander that the Fuehrer is out of control - prompting him to join an assassination plot. 3:30pm ��Heaven Knows, Mr Allison An American Marine corporal stationed on a South Pacific island during World War Two and a novice nun on a mission are forced into the hills when Japanese forces arrive and set up military bases. 5:30pm ��Hoffa Jack Nicholson gives a stunning performance as notorious American union leader Jimmy Hoffa, whose rise to power was abruptly halted by accusations of corruption and connections with the Mafia, culminating in his mysterious disappearance. 8:00pm ��1408 As part of the research for his latest book, he checks into an allegedly haunted hotel room, dismissing warnings from the establishment’s manager (Samuel L Jackson) to leave before it’s too late. 10:30pm ��The Fog A coastal town is haunted by the spirits of sailors who died in a shipwreck 100 years before, leaving the locals desperate to escape before thhey are viciously slaughtered.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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tv guide

t u e s d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Cowboy Trap 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm ��Prank Patrol Down Under 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Who Let the Dogs Out? 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders With Lucy worried for her dad, Phil steps in and helps her pay off some of the debt Ian owed. Knowing what Phil is capable of, Ben and Jay worry that he may have had something to with Ian’s disappearance. 8:00pm ��Holby City When Malick disagrees with Serena over a patient, he is concerned that he has overreached himself. Jac is infuriated with Jonny’s attitude on the ward, and Chrissie is concerned that Sacha’s daughter is taking advantage of him. 9:00pm ��Silk Clive is in Oxford, prosecuting three students accused of sexually assaulting a waitress. Up against an intimidating defence counsel, Clive begins to waver, but a chance encounter with an old friend helps him discover a passion for prosecuting he did not know he had. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The Apprentice 11:35pm ��Prime 1:15am ��Weatherview 1:20am ��The Apprentice 2:20am ��Horizon

6:00am ��Children´s TV 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 8:45am �� Big City Park 9:00am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am �� Louie 10:35am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:45am ��Waybuloo 11:10am �� In the Night Garden 11:40am ��The Story of G.I. Joe 1:30pm �� Instant Restaurant 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Springwatch 9:00pm �� Great Ormond Street 10:00pm �� QI 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm �� She-Wolves: England’s Early Queens 12:20am ��BBC News

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm ��May the Best House Win 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Alicia is horrified to learn she could face prison. Ashley defies his new boss to make the best of a bad situation. Guilty Chas promises to make Sarah’s Paris dreams come true. 7:30pm ��Trash to Treasure At Beeston Reclamation, Lee is on the lookout for new stock for the yard. He spends 1000 pounds of big brother Trev’s money on the contents of a disused barn but Trev is less than impressed with Lee’s purchases. 8:00pm ��Countrywise Jubilee 9:00pm �� Prince Charles: The Royal Restoration Alan Titchmarsh presents a documentary following Prince Charles and his team as they try to save Dumfries House, one of Scotland’s most important stately homes. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm ��Grimefighters In this edition, Newcastle Council Enforcement Officer Tracey is accompanied by the police to challenge some residents on the condition of their houses. 11:05pm �� Nature’s Fury Chris Terrill gets as close as possible to some of the world’s biggest storms, to find out why people continue to live in their deadly paths. 12:05am �� Jackpot247 2:35am ��Loose Women

6:10am ��Oscar Pistorius ‘One Giant Leap’ 6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��Four in a Bed 12:35pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 1:05pm ��Hills of Home 3:05pm ��London Dreaming 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Texas and Leanne comfort a confused Doug, but their efforts only succeed in distressing him further. Mercedes takes drastic action to forget about Silas, and the students find themselves with some less-than-ideal houseguests when Will reluctantly offers shelter to his homeless family. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm ��Embarrassing Bodies 9:00pm ��Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket Animal welfare standards might have come a long way in the UK, but most of the country’s chickens are still reared intensively, 60% of pigs still spend their whole lives in sheds. 10:00pm ��Hidden Talent 11:05pm ��Random Acts 11:10pm �� Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12:15am ��Pokerstars.Co.UK 1:15am �� Kotv Boxing 1:40am ��Sailing 2:05am �� Mobil 1 The Grid 2:30am ��British GT

Prince Charles: The Royal Restoration ITV 1 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm “You’ve got to get stuck in and try to make a difference. And if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. It can be slightly more exposed in my position. Live dangerously. It’s worth trying rather than not trying at all, isn’t it?”

HRH Prince Charles

In 2007 HRH The Prince of Wales helped to purchase Dumfries House and its priceless contents for £45m, with a loan for £20m taken out by his Charitable

Foundation, in order to save one of Scotland’s most important stately homes in one of the most economically deprived areas. The fear was that the collection, including a Chippendale bookcase expected to fetch £15m, would be lost for the nation at auction. As he explains: “There are so few houses left that still have their original furniture. They were already in packing cases in lorries. The lorries

were stopped at 1 o’clock in the morning on the motorway in Cumbria, on the way to Christies. They were turned around and came back.” In this one-hour documentary presented by Alan Titchmarsh, we have exclusive and unprecedented access to follow HRH The Prince of Wales and his team, as he tries to confound his critics and achieve his vision, and explaining why he took the massive project on himself.

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2 9 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 12:45pm ��Highland Emergency 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:05pm �� Winter Solstice 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Cricket on 5 8:00pm �� War Hero in My Family 9:00pm �� CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm �� CSI: NY 10:55pm �� CSI: Miami 11:55pm �� CSI: Miami 12:50am ��Super Casino

7:00pm �� Total Wipeout 8:00pm ��Don’t Tell the Bride Sam Ollerenshaw and Katy Mills have been engaged for 15 months, but Katy has spent a lifetime planning the wedding. 9:00pm �� Britain Unzipped Armed with the results of an exhaustive report covering every aspect of modern life, Greg James and Russell Kane, along with a special guest, take a look at British behaviour and reveal what really goes on behind closed doors and inside our heads. 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad! 12:05am �� American Dad! 12:30am �� Britain Unzipped 1:25am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 1:55am ��England’s Worst Ever Football Team 2:55am ��Don’t Tell the Bride

6:00am ��Heartbeat 6:50am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 7:50am ��Terry and June 8:30am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 9:35am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:50am ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 3:00pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:00pm ��On the Buses 5:10pm ��Terry and June 5:50pm ��Heartbeat

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 8:00pm ��America’s Got Talent 10:00pm ��Passenger 57 11:50pm �� The Matrix 2:20am �� Emmerdale 2:45am ��Teleshopping

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Wycliffe 9:00pm ��Taggart 10:00pm �� Appropriate Adult 11:35pm ��Wycliffe 1:10am �� Murder, She Wrote 1:55am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

Nine Months Fox Movies - 6:15 - 8:00 pm A single man faces the terrifying prospect of seeing his carefree life dashed by a visit from the stork in this comedy. Samuel Falkner (Hugh Grant) is a child psychiatrist who has no kids of his own and doesn’t want any, which leaves him a bit shaken when his girlfriend of five years, Rebecca Taylor (Julianne Moore) announces that she’s pregnant.

Suddenly, Samuel is plagued by paranoid fantasies about how marriage and fatherhood will change his life, which are not at all soothed by frequent visits from Rebecca’s chronically-pregnant friend Gail Dwyer (Joan Cusack) and her half-bright lummox of a husband, Marty (Tom Arnold). Too selfish to deal with Rebecca’s needs, Samuel

parts company with her and takes a last stab at playing the field, but when he sees an ultrasound of his soon-to-be-born son, he decides that it’s time to face his responsibilities before it’s too late. Nine Months also features Robin Williams in a small role as Dr. Kosevich, an ob-gyn with a weak grasp of the English language.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Country House Rescue 11:05am �� Darby’s Rangers 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm ��River Cottage Every Day

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� The Restoration Man 10:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 11:05pm �� More Sex Please We’re British 12:10am ��The Fairy Jobmother USA 1:10am ��The Good Wife 2:05am �� 24 Hours in A and E

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 7:00am �� Cycling: Tour Series 8:00am ��DTM 8:30am ��Motorsport UK 9:30am ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the third day’s action from Roland Garros as the Men’s and Women’s first round matches come to an end. Expert analysis and commentary from two times winner Jim Courier. 8:00pm ��Rugby Highlights Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield present the Aviva Premiership play-off final. Twickenham is the venue as Leicester and Harlequins play out the final act of the season for the right to become champions. 9:00pm �� TT 2012 10:00pm ��Thinner 11:55pm �� Scum 1:55am �� French Open Tennis 2012 Highlights

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6:00am ��Mr & Mrs Smith A couple struggle to keep their marriage interesting until they learn they have something in common - they are both deadly assassins. 9:00am ��Royal Flash A conniving 19th-century military officer is forced to impersonate a European prince as part of a plot to seize control of the country. However, once the ruse is uncovered, he must flee for his life across the continent. 11:00am ��Down to Earth Newly rich Oklahomans live in a chateau like the one they had in Paris, then go broke. 12:30pm �� Heaven Can Wait Don Ameche is perfectly cast in Ernst Lubitsch’s razor-sharp fantasy comedy as a playboy who dies and ends up waiting outside the gates of Hell. The Devil (Laird Cregar) questions whether he has led a sinful enough life to gain entry. 2:25pm ��Margie A married woman reminisces about her college days when she would have done almost anything to get noticed by the opposite sex : especially a handsome French teacher. 4:00pm ��Anna and the King of Siam Acclaimed romantic drama about a widowed English schoolteacher who begins a relationship with a powerful oriental ruler while tutoring his 67 children. 6:15pm �� Nine Months Hugh Grant is on typical bumbling form as a psychologist whose well-ordered world begins to fall apart with the discovery that his girlfriend is pregnant - and to make matters worse, their eccentric Russian obstetrician (Robin Williams) reveals he’s never delivered a baby before. 8:00pm ��Jawbreaker The lives of four high-school girls are thrown into chaos after one of them dies during a seemingly harmless birthday prank, and their attempts to cover up the tragedy are discovered by a fellow pupil. 10:00pm ��What Happens in Vegas Two total strangers meet when they are accidentally booked into the same hotel room in Las Vegas. However, the pair agree to forget the mix-up and instead spend a night on the town together.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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w e d n e s d ay 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Cowboy Trap 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm ��Prank Patrol Down Under 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Horrible Histories: Gory Games 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm �� Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Julia Somerville battle on behalf of viewers who feel they have been ripped off or treated unfairly. 8:00pm ��DIY SOS The Big Build Dudley. Nick Knowles and the DIY SOS team join forces with an army of local tradespeople to come to the aid of a family in Dudley. 9:00pm ��The Apprentice Affordable Luxury. Lord Sugar calls the teams to Burlington Arcade, a luxury shopping centre in London’s West End. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm ��The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10:45pm ��Déjà Vu Action sci-fi thriller about an ATF agent, Doug Carlin, who travels back in time to save the key witness in the investigation into a ferry bombing, falling in love in the process. 12:40am ��Weatherview 12:45am �� See Hear 1:15am �� The 70s 2:15am ��Great Ormond Street

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:45am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 8:45am �� Big City Park 9:00am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am �� Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:40am ��Waybuloo 11:00am �� In the Night Garden 11:30am �� Beyond the Reef 1:00pm ��See Hear 1:30pm ��To Buy or Not to Buy 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Springwatch 9:00pm ��Afghanistan 10:00pm �� The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��She-Wolves: England’s Early Queens 12:20am ��BBC News

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6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm ��May the Best House Win 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale Nicola freaks out to discover Angelica has been left alone with Ashley. Alicia’s attempts at apologising to Val crash and burn. Holly faces a dilemma when she is offered a dream job in London. 7:30pm ��The Unforgettable Gordon Jackson. A tribute to the well-loved actor best known for his roles as Hudson in Upstairs, Downstairs and Cowley in The Professionals. 8:00pm ��Lewis When babysitter Jessica Lake is discovered dead, Lewis and Hathaway are drawn into diverse new worlds beyond the usual Oxford colleges, including squats, swinging suburbia, primate labs and fetish photography. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten & Weather 10:35pm ��Unforgiven Long after he has settled into a peaceful life as a farmer with his two children, reformed gunslinger William Munny is coaxed out of retirement by a young gun who wants his help in bringing the men responsible for attacking a prostitute to justice. 1:00am �� Jackpot247 Join the presenters live and play roulette on your telly. Find out how or join in now at Jackpot247.com. 3:00am ��The Lion in Winter Epic historical drama set in the 12th century. King Henry II summons his fragmented family to a reunion and there follows a series of battles, both political and personal.

6:15am �� The Hoobs 6:40am �� The Hoobs 7:05am �� Freshly Squeezed 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��Four in a Bed 12:35pm �� Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 1:05pm ��Nathan Stephens: Warrior 1:10pm ��The Last Frontier 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks Lynsey tries to help Mercedes move on from Silas. How far will she go to rid him from her mind? Texas takes matters into her own hands in her efforts to unite Doug and Ste, but things don’t go according to plan. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Secret Eaters In this edition Dawn and Mike, a married couple from Hull, plus their best mate and lodger Gareth, want to solve the riddle of why they’re putting on weight. 9:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 10:00pm �� The Killing 10:55pm ��Random Acts 11:00pm �� 2 Broke Girls 11:30pm �� Desperate Housewives 12:30am ��Fred Perry Presents Subculture 12:50am ��Music on 4 Favourites 1:25am �� Rumer 1:40am �� Spotlight 1:50am �� Karima Francis 2:05am ��Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions

The Unforgettable...Gordon Jackson ITV 1 - 7:30 - 8:00 pm A tribute to Gordon Jackson – best known for his role as Hudson in the phenomenally successful drama Upstairs Downstairs and as Cowley in the Professionals. Long before he became a household name in Upstairs Downstairs, Gordon Jackson had starred in

some of the most famous films of all time – Mutiny on the Bounty, The Great Escape, The Ipcress File. He described himself as a jobbing actor but when he secured the role of Hudson he became a household name. Close friends and family paint a picture of a quiet, unassuming, decent man,

a wonderful father who didn’t take his fame too seriously. He loved nothing more than relaxing at home with great friends like Kenneth Williams. With contributions from other close friends John Alderton, Pauline Collins, Tom Conti and Stanley Baxter.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

3 0 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm ��Highland Emergency 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:15pm �� Miles From Nowhere 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� The Gadget Show: World Tour 8:00pm �� Emergency Bikers 9:00pm ��NCIS 10:00pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 10:55pm ��Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:50pm ��Pokerstars

6:00am ��Emmerdale 6:25am ��Nanny 911 7:15am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 8:10am ��Judge Judy 9:25am �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 10:30am ��Judge Judy 12:00pm ��Emmerdale 12:30pm ��Nanny 911 1:30pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm �� The Real Housewives of Orange County 4:40pm ��Judge Judy 6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm ��America’s Got Talent 9:00pm ��Peter Andre: My Life 10:00pm �� American Pie: The Wedding 11:55pm �� Penn and Teller: Fool Us 1:00am ��Planet’s Funniest Animals 1:25am ��Life’s Funniest Moments 1:50am �� Emmerdale

7:00pm �� Great Movie Mistakes 7:10pm �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? In Manchester, Ellie tries out the WAG look and POD goes into makeunder overdrive. First up is Adrienne, who is a tanned WAG wannabe - but the trouble is that her boyfriend is a plumber. 7:40pm �� Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest Fantasy adventure with Captain Jack Sparrow back on the high seas, this time on the run from Davy Jones who wants to make him a member of his slimy and eternally damned crew. 10:00pm �� How to be England Manager 11:00pm �� Family Guy 11:20pm �� Family Guy 11:45pm �� American Dad! 12:05am �� American Dad! 12:25am �� How to be England Manager 1:25am ��Euros’ Most Shocking Moments 2:25am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 2:55am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid?

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am ��Country House Rescue 11:05am �� North to Alaska 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm ��River Cottage Every Day

6:00am ��Drama Trails 6:10am ��Heartbeat 7:00am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 8:00am ��Terry and June 8:45am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 9:50am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:55am ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:10pm ��Heartbeat 2:10pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:10pm ��On the Buses 4:40pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

7:00am �� Quantum Leap 8:00am �� Minder 9:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 9:30am ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the Men’s and Women’s second round from Roland Garros. Expert analysis and commentary from Jim Courier.

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm ��Pride and Prejudice 10:30pm ��Atonement 12:50am �� Monk 1:45am �� Film File 1:55am �� ITV3 Nightscreen 2:30am ��Teleshopping

6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm ��Grand Designs 9:00pm �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10:00pm �� One Born Every Minute 11:05pm �� Katie: My Beautiful Friends 12:10am �� Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 1:15am �� One Born Every Minute 2:20am �� Katie: My Beautiful Friends

8:00pm �� Cycling: Tour Series Ned Boulting presents action from the sixth race of the city centre series which today comes from Peterborough. 9:00pm ��British Superbike Championship Highlights James Haydon presents highlights of Round 4 from Snetterton in Norfolk. 10:00pm ��On Deadly Ground Action-packed thriller about an oil rig firefighter who opposes an ecologically unsound scheme proposed by his sometime employer. 12:05am ��Thinner 2:00am �� French Open Tennis

tv guide th

m ay

6:00am ��Jawbreaker The lives of four high-school girls are thrown into chaos after one of them dies during a seemingly harmless birthday prank, and their attempts to cover up the tragedy are discovered by a fellow pupil. 8:00am �� Nine Months Hugh Grant is on typical bumbling form as a psychologist whose well-ordered world begins to fall apart with the discovery that his girlfriend is pregnant - and to make matters worse, their eccentric Russian obstetrician (Robin Williams) reveals he’s never delivered a baby before. 9:45am �� Punch and Jody A circus man’s life is changed by the sudden presence of his teenage daughter. 11:00am ��Anastasia Ingrid Bergman puts in an Oscar-winning performance in this absorbing drama, costarring Yul Brynner and Helen Hayes. Set in Paris in 1928, a group of exiled Russians claim they have found the daughter of the last Tsar, who was originally believed to have been killed with the rest of her family. 1:00pm �� The Virgin Queen Sir Walter Raleigh forms a close relationship with Elizabeth I, hoping to gain her political support to further his ambition to head an expedition to America. 2:45pm................................. Zorro, The Gay Blade Spoof swashbuckling adventure in which the hero’s role is taken over by his hopeles sly inept son. 4:30pm.................................................. Generation X A team of teenage mutants set out to stop a scientist intent on taking control of people’s dreams. 6:00pm....................................... Enemy Mine Sci-fi adventure about an earthling and alien, marooned together on an inhospitable planet where they are forced to set aside their mutual animosity and concentrate their energies on survival. 8:00pm........................................The Faculty A group of high-school students notice their teachers and fellow academics behaving strangely, and stumble across an alien plot to take over the world. 10:00pm ��Planet of the Apes An astronaut crash-lands on a strange planet ruled by apes, and it’s not long before he’s taken prisoner.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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tv guide

th u r s d a y 6:00am ��Breakfast 9:15am ��Fake Britain 10:00am ��Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am �� Cowboy Trap 11:45am ��Cash in the Attic 12:15pm ��Bargain Hunt 1:00pm �� BBC News at One 1:30pm ��BBC London News 1:45pm ��Doctors 2:15pm �� Escape to the Country 3:00pm �� BBC News 3:05pm �� Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3:35pm ��Prank Patrol Down Under 4:00pm ��Copycats 4:30pm ��Young Dracula 5:00pm �� Newsround 5:15pm ��Pointless 6:00pm �� BBC News at Six 6:30pm ��BBC London News 7:00pm �� The One Show 7:30pm ��EastEnders Kim arranges for a reporter to pen an article promoting the B&B’s grand opening, but her plan backfires when the reporter shows more interest in talking to Andrew about Heather. 8:00pm ��Britain’s Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones Griff Rhys Jones goes on a tudor adventure as he retraces the route that Queen Elizabeth I took through the Cotswolds and into the West Country on what was one of her regular ‘progesses’ through her realm. 9:00pm �� Crimewatch They want to know who held a severely disabled man and his carers at gunpoint in a shockingly violent robbery. 10:00pm ��BBC News at Ten 10:25pm ��BBC London News 10:35pm �� Crimewatch Update 10:45pm ��Question Time 11:45pm ��A Fish Called Wanda 1:30am �� Holiday Weatherview 1:35am ��Euro 2012 2:05am �� Countryfile 3:00am ��Antiques Roadshow

6:00am ��The Pingu Show 6:10am ��Charlie and Lola 6:25am ��Timmy Time 6:35am ��Chuggington 6:50am �� Pinky Dinky Doo 7:00am ��Roar 7:30am �� The League of Super Evil 7:45am ��Frankenstein’s Cat 7:55am �� Newsround 8:00am �� Ed and Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 8:30am ��Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 8:45am �� Big City Park 9:00am ��Tinga Tinga Tales 9:10am ��Little Charley Bear 9:20am ��Raa Raa the Noisy Lion 9:30am ��Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9:40am �� The Koala Brothers 9:50am ��ZingZillas 10:05am ��Iconicles 10:30am ��Woolly and Tig 10:35am ��Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:45am ��Waybuloo 11:05am �� In the Night Garden 11:35am ��The First of the Few 1:30pm ��To Buy or Not to Buy 2:15pm ��The Weakest Link 3:00pm ��Heir Hunters 3:45pm ��Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 4:30pm �� Flog It! 5:15pm ��Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6:00pm ��Eggheads 6:30pm ��TOTP 2 7:30pm ��Great British Menu 8:00pm �� Springwatch 9:00pm �� Springwatch 9:30pm ��The Meat Market: Inside Smithfield 10:30pm ��Newsnight 11:20pm ��She-Wolves: England’s Early Queens 12:20am ��BBC News

Editor Recommends

6:00am ��Daybreak 8:30am ��Lorraine’s High Street Fashion Awards 9:25am ��The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am ��This Morning 11:25am ��ITV News 11:30am ��This Morning 12:30pm ��Loose Women 1:30pm ��ITV News and Weather 2:00pm ��May the Best House Win 3:00pm ��Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm ��Midsomer Murders 5:00pm �� The Chase 6:00pm �� London Tonight 6:30pm �� ITV News and Weather 7:00pm �� Emmerdale 7:30pm �� Tonight The Parent Trap. Fiona Foster looks at the increasing financial burden of childcare costs, with many families paying out up to a third of their income on pre-school nurseries. 8:00pm �� Emmerdale Ashley struggles to come to terms with losing his job. Zak opens up about attacking Cain, vowing he will never fight again. Alicia is ecstatic when Val agrees to drop the charges. 8:30pm ��Coronation Street Will Tyrone and Kirsty blow Tommy’s cover? The Weatherfield in Bloom judging day is struck by disaster. Eileen’s new beginning is blighted by Carla. 9:00pm �� Long Lost Family Since finding out at the age of six that the man he called ‘dad’ was not his biological father, James Kynoch has been looking for his biological dad. They have been apart for 35 years and James is desperate to make contact. 10:00pm ��ITV News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm �� Prince Charles: The Royal Restoration 11:35pm �� Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 12:30am �� Jackpot247 3:00am �� Tonight

6:10am ��Children´s TV 7:35am ��According to Jim 8:00am ��Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am ��Frasier 9:00am �� Undercover Boss Australia 10:00am �� Location, Location, Location 11:00am ��The Renovation Game 12:00pm �� Channel 4 News 12:05pm ��Four in a Bed 12:35pm �� The Kitchen Pharmacy 12:50pm ��Logan’s Run 3:10pm �� Countdown 4:00pm �� Deal or No Deal 5:00pm �� Come Dine with Me 6:00pm ��The Simpsons 6:30pm �� Hollyoaks A guilty Texas and Leanne attempt to fix Doug and Riley’s friendship as news of Doug’s sexuality spreads. Dodger’s womanising ways push Will to breaking point when he moves in on Ash. 7:00pm �� Channel 4 News 7:55pm ��4thought.tv 8:00pm �� Phil Spencer Secret Agent In his latest secret mission Phil escapes the rat race and heads for the country. Earth mother Oriole’s five-bed detached home is nestled in the sleepy Shropshire hills. 9:00pm ��Married to the Moonies With unprecedented access this revealing film takes viewers inside the little known world of the Unification Church, commonly known to outsiders as the Moonies, and follows three British youngsters as they travel to Korea to be blessed by their messiah. 10:00pm �� 24 Hours in A and E 11:05pm ��Random Acts 11:10pm ��Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket 12:10am �� The Secret Millionaire 1:10am �� Edward VIII: The Plot to Topple a King 2:05am �� Unreported World 2:30am �� Dispatches 3:00am ��Hidden Talent

Long Lost Family BBC 1 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm In the last episode of Long Lost family two children desperate to find their fathers. As a six-year-old boy sitting in roll-call at school James Kynoch suddenly realised that he had a different surname to the man he knew of as “dad”. Only then did his mother reveal that that she and his real dad had divorced when he was two years old. He has never been seen since. Over the years James has tried to find out about his father but all his questions have been met with silence.

But recently he discovered that his father hadn’t simply left with no word. He had tried to get in touch with James shortly before he turned 16 but the letter he wrote was never delivered. For James, knowing that his father went to the trouble of writing to him proves he must have loved him once. They’ve been apart for thirty five years and James cannot leave it any longer. And the story of 48-yearold, Lisa Nortcliff, a loving mother and grandmother from Scarborough who has

been intrigued by the mystery of her father ever since she was a teenager. Lisa discovered at the age of 10 that the woman she believed to be her older sister was in fact her mother. The people she thought were her parents were actually her grandparents. It was then that she also discovered the truth about her father: he was a young fashion photography student who was forbidden from seeing her mother again when the pregnancy was discovered.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

31 6:00am ��Children´s TV 9:15am �� The Wright Stuff 11:10am ��Live with... 12:10pm ��5 News Lunchtime 12:15pm �� The Restaurant Inspector 1:15pm ��Home and Away 1:45pm ��Neighbours 2:15pm �� Law and Order 3:20pm �� McBride: Semper Fi 5:00pm ��5 News at 5 5:30pm ��Neighbours 6:00pm ��Home and Away 6:30pm �� 5 News 7:00pm �� Police Interceptors 8:00pm �� World’s Scariest Animal Attacks 9:00pm ��The Restaurant Inspector 10:00pm �� Hostel 11:50pm �� The World of Stupid Criminals 12:15am ��Super Casino

7:00pm ��Athletics Diamond League - Rome. Live coverage from Rome’s Stadio Olimpico of the third Diamond League meeting of the season. All eyes will be on the men’s 100 metres, with Olympic and world champion Usain Bolt scheduled to take on Asafa Powell and France’s European champion, Christian Lemaitre. 9:00pm ��Russell Howard’s Good News 9:30pm �� Live at the Electric 10:00pm �� EastEnders 10:30pm �� Britain Unzipped 11:30pm �� Family Guy 11:50pm �� Family Guy 12:15am �� American Dad! 12:35am �� American Dad! 12:55am ��Russell Howard’s Good News 1:25am �� Live at the Electric 1:55am �� Angry Boys 2:25am �� Snog, Marry, Avoid? 2:55am �� Britain Unzipped

6:00am ��Heartbeat 6:50am �� Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman 7:55am ��Terry and June 8:30am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 9:40am ��Upstairs, Downstairs 10:50am ��Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1:00pm ��Heartbeat 2:05pm �� Murder, She Wrote 4:05pm ��On the Buses 4:40pm ��On the Buses 5:15pm ��Terry and June 5:55pm ��Heartbeat

6:00pm ��The Jeremy Kyle Show US 7:00pm ��All Star Family Fortunes 8:00pm �� You’ve Been Framed! 9:00pm �� The Exclusives 10:00pm �� The Matrix 12:45am �� The Exclusives 1:45am �� Coronation Street 2:10am �� Emmerdale 3:00am.......................................... Nanny 911

6:55pm �� Murder, She Wrote 8:00pm �� The Queen 10:00pm ��Blue Murder 11:35pm �� Ruth Rendell Mysteries 12:40am �� Ruth Rendell Mysteries 1:35am �� The Return of Sherlock Holmes 2:30am ��Teleshopping

Married To The Moonies Channel 4 - 9:00 - 10:00 pm With unprecedented access this revealing film takes viewers inside the little known world of the Unification Church, commonly known to outsiders as the Moonies, and follows three British youngsters as they travel to Korea to be blessed by their messiah, Reverend Moon, at one of the movement’s controversial mass weddings. The three undertake a condensed courtship - meeting and making plans for the future with a person

they hardly know. Twenty-two-year-old psychology student Elisa has decided to make her own wedding dress for the big day. Twenty-one-year-old Reamonn has been matched with a girl from Argentina he hasn’t even met. The cameras follow him to the airport as he meets his future bride for the first time. And 20-year-old Naomi from south London is matched with her future husband just days before the ceremony.

8:55am ��Deal or No Deal 9:55am �� Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 10:20am ��Country House Rescue 11:30am �� Very Important Person 1:25pm �� Time Team 2:30pm �� Come Dine with Me 3:00pm ��Four in a Bed 3:35pm ��Location, Location, Location 4:40pm ��A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 5:45pm ��River Cottage Every Day 6:50pm �� Come Dine with Me 7:55pm �� Grand Designs Australia 9:00pm ��The Good Wife 10:00pm �� Father Ted 10:30pm �� Father Ted 11:05pm ��Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 12:10am �� Grand Designs Australia 1:15am ��The Good Wife 2:15am �� Brothers and Sisters

6:00am �� Quantum Leap 7:00am ��Police, Camera, Action! 7:25am �� Minder 8:30am �� Cycling: Tour Series 9:30am ��French Open John Inverdale presents live coverage of the Men’s and Women’s second round from Roland Garros. Expert analysis and commentary from Jim Courier. 8:00pm �� TT 2012 The Final Countdown. As the riders prepare for the big race, Craig Doyle, Steve Parrish and James Whitham look at how the island itself prepares for the his unique and prestigious event. 9:00pm �� TT 2012 10:00pm �� Scum 12:00am �� The Hitcher 1:45am �� French Open Tennis 2012 Highlights 2:50am �� ITV4 Nightscreen 3:00am ��Teleshopping

tv guide st

m ay

6:00am ��Mr & Mrs Smith A couple struggle to keep their marriage interesting until they learn they have something in common - they are both deadly assassins. 9:00am ��The Star Chamber High Court Judge Steve Hardin (Michael Douglas) becomes disillusioned when he repeatedly has to free rapists and murderers because of legal technicalities, so he joins a society of judges which re-tries and sentences criminals. 11:00am �� The Panic in Needle Park Al Pacino stars as a cynical New York drug addict who gets his girlfriend hooked and helps plan a warehouse robbery so they can marry. 1:00pm ��The Vault of Horror Five men in a lift end up trapped together in a basement, and share their recurring nightmares. A private eye tells a story of vampires, a man obsessed with tidiness drives his wife to murder, a magician learns the folly of crossing an Indian mystic, an author fakes his death, and an artist uses voodoo to get revenge on his enemies. 2:30pm ��The Fury A gifted youth is kidnapped by government agents intent on tapping into his psychic powers and using them for nefarious purposes. 4:30pm ��The Star Chamber High Court Judge Steve Hardin (Michael Douglas) becomes disillusioned when he repeatedly has to free rapists and murderers because of legal technicalities, so he joins a society of judges which re-tries and sentences criminals. 6:30pm ��Deliberate Intent Dry, courtroom-bound fact-based drama, chronicling the landmark case in which a publishing house was held responsible for aiding and abetting a murder, after printing a book detailing how to commit the perfect crime. 8:00pm �� In Bruges Two hit men are ordered to lie low in Belgium after an assignment goes wrong. 10:00pm ��The Transporter 2 Jason Statham returns as the driver who will transport anything or anyone, anywhere, provided the price is right.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 time out

Take a little

TIME OUT

2. Fishermen Across 7. Seed containers 8. Temperate 9. Pools 10. Demented 11. Flag 12. Yonder 14. Poisonous fluid 16. Aromatic fragrance 18. Flow back 21. Eraser 23. Island in Western Samoa 24. Having a specific number of sides (Suffix) 25. The power to reject 26. Metal 27. Convent for nuns

Crossword

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Down

1. Mail charge 2. Trembling poplar 3. Well-bred people 4. Banner 5. Wreck 6. Open and close the eye 13. Globe 15. Polygon having eight sides 17. Member of a crew 18. U.S. inventor 19. Horse restraint 20. Creates 22. In an inadequate manner

Solutions to our puzzles can be found on page 46 This week’s clever quote

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”

- Lynn Lavner

The brain train

MATHS CHALLENGE Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.

Sudoku

Fill in the black squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 through 9.

Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Work from left to right. Each column is a math equation. Work from top to bottom

An easy one

1 6 3 9 9 7 8 6 2 8 5 1 6 5 3 9 2 4 8 1 8 2 5 4

6 5

9 8 7 3 2 2 7 1 6 The dotted lines indicate areas which also contain a nonrepeating set of digits. These squares can be added together to produce the sums shown in the clues. A little tougher

Word search

Find and circle all of the Beach words that are hidden in the grid. The words may be hidden in any direction.

Beach ball Boat Clouds Kite Lifeguard Ocean Pail Sailing Sand Seashell Sky Starfish Sun Surfboard Swimming Swimsuit Water Waves

Spot the 5 differences

Question One: Rod Stewart’s hit song ‘Sailing’ appeared on which 1975 album? Question Two: Which word, in the film Gremlins, is Cantonese for monster or demon? Question Three: Which company used the slogan ‘Because I’m worth it’? Question Four: In Venice, what is a vaporetti? Question Five: Which visible aid was first introduced for the 1933 F.A. Cup final? Question Six: Who slept in the teapot at the mad hatters tea party?

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 showbiz

Geri Halliwell ‘To Get 2012 X Factor Job If She Impresses As Guest Judge’

You’d think she’d be knee-deep Geri Halliwell is set for a permanent role as a judge on The X Factor this year if she can impress Simon Cowell and ITV bosses when she takes up a guest slot on the judging panel at the first auditions in Liverpool, according to sources. Geri reportedly has one day only to make her mark on the X Factor panel, where she will sit beside existing judges Gary Barlow, Tulisa Contostavlos and Louis Walsh. The former Spice girl will be replacing Kelly Rowland at auditions after efforts to persuade Dannii Minogue to return to the show fell through and the panel was reduced to just three people. An insider told the Mirror: ‘Simon was impressed with the way Geri handled herself during auditions a couple of years ago, and thinks she has the gravitas and star presence to really shake-up the panel. Geri has been an absolute dream to deal with. Assuming she passes her final dress rehearsal at the auditions in Liverpool, the job is hers.’ But Geri isn’t home and dry just yet -

the singer failed to impress viewers when she stood in for Dannii Minogue on The X Factor in 2010, when audiences called her ‘annoying’ and ‘cringe-worthy’.

Brad Pitt’s £2,000 Interview Price Tag at Cannes

Brad Pitt is used to the call of the bright lights and flashbulbs but now a film company has put a price on buying a slice of the film star’s time – at £2,000 for a 20-minute chat. Journalists at the Cannes film festival are being asked to pay on a ‘menu’ of prices for access for biggest stars. And they can’t even demand that Brad, 48, fill their allotted time by, say, frolicking topless with kittens while serenading them. In fact, they’re just trying to get interviews about his new film, Killing Them Softly. The price works out at more than £12million a year – £2million more than the fee Pitt allegedly received for his role in Inglourious Basterds. Canadian film distribution company Alliance is also asking for the same sum to chat to Kristen Stewart, 22, about her film On The Road. It is thought to be the first time that reporters have been charged for access to stars who rely on promotion to boost box-office demand. Film website Deadline claimed that Alliance was up for sale and under pressure to keep down overheads.

Britney’s Unhealthy X Factor Rider

Britney Spears is ensuring she has plenty of energy for her X Factor debut, issuing a rider that reportedly requests 10 pieces of chicken, 10 snack-size bags of Doritos and 12 Snickers bars! The Toxic singer was confirmed as a replacement judge for the departing Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul last week, alongside Disney star Demi Lovato. She has wasted no time in making her presence felt though, with her rider also consisting of 12 vases of magnolia blossoms and four pints of potato salad, according to Look magazine. Spears is also believed to require a beauty team that includes a personal manicurist and massage therapist!

Matt Cardle Dropped

Matt Cardle has been added to Simon Cowell’s growing scrap-heap after he was dumped by Columbia Records.

The new US X Factor panel LA Reid, Demi Lovato, Simon Cowell and Britney Spears

Will Smith Slaps Male Reporter

Jedward Reach Eurovision Final

Jedward have been voted through to their second Eurovision Song Contest final after impressing judges with their pop song Waterline as Engelbert Humperdinck’s UK entry proves a chart flop. The twins, 20, put on an energetic performance at the semi-finals at Baku’s Crystal Hall in Azerbaijan, which ended with them being drenched by a fountain of water. After finding out they’d made it through, the boys gushed: ‘We are so excited. We knew we’d rock Edzerbaijohn! ‘Thanks to all our awesome fans for voting for us. We’re going to go out there on Saturday night and do our best for a Jepic win. ‘We’re going to go out there and make Ireland proud.’ John and Edward Grimes, who first found fame on The X Factor, are representing Ireland for the second year running. They finished in eighth place last year with the track Lipstick. Meanwhile, Engelbert Humperdinck who

Will Smith became embroiled in an angry confrontation with a comic on the red carpet at a movie premiere in Moscow after he tried to kiss the film star on the lips.

is representing the UK has failed to set the charts on fire with his entry Love Will Set You Free. The 76-year-old singer has sold 3,442 copies of his song since it was released two weeks ago. Last week, he hit number 64 in the charts but has since slumped to 76. Despite this, Humperdinck has said he thinks he has a ‘great great chance’ of securing the nation’s first victory since 1997. Hmmm... we’re not so sure. The UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Romania, Moldova, Iceland, Hungary, Denmark, Albania, Cyprus, Greece and last year’s winners Azerbaijan have already qualified for the final.

The Hollywood star was at the launch of Men In Black 3 in the Russian capital when he was approached by Ukrainian prankster Vitalii Sediuk, who gave him a hug before attempting a smooch. Sediuk made two lunges at Smith’s mouth, both of which the Fresh Prince actor managed to dodge as they instead landed on his cheeks. The 43-year-old responded by aiming a slap at the comedian. ‘He tried to kiss me on the mouth. He’s lucky I didn’t try to sucker punch him. ... Sorry, I said that on camera,’ Smith later told a separate reporter. Wind-up merchant Sediuk is perhaps best known for a prank he previously played on Madonna. He deliberately presented the US singer with Hydrangeas - her most hated flower - leading to her rolling her eyes as she reluctantly accepted them.

The former X Factor winner went from hero to zero in just 18 months after he was struck by the show’s winners’ curse. The 29-year-old joins a long line of forgettable male victors including Steve Brookstein, Leon Jackson and Joe McElderry, who struggled to set the world alight after scooping the TV mogul’s lucrative TV prize. In contrast, One Direction, who finished third to Cardle, announced last night that their single What Makes You Beautiful has gone double platinum in America surpassing 2 million in digital sales. Cardle promised to soldier on in the fame game, though – tweeting: ‘I have parted ways with Columbia Records; we were heading in different directions, big news coming soon.... so excited! : ) love you all xx’. Columbia refused to comment on his exit. The writing was on the wall after he criticised Cowell for allowing the far more successful runners-ups to release music before him, describing the whole process as a ‘free-for-all’.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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out on the town

Mine’s A Margarita

Popped in to the Restaurante Margarita this Wednesday, to catch Mikey Mike in action. Boy, was I in for a treat. Mike is one of my 23yr old daughter’s favourite acts over here, so I didn´t really know what to expect, except she said he had a great voice. She wasn´t kiddin, and I kept on thinking I have seen this guy before when he was joined on stage by I.S. from BWB; this was 2011’s award winning duo, and it was soon plain to see why they won. Gotta hand it to Eddie, down here in the Restaurante Margarita, as a compere and a self-contained musician, as well as doing a couple of tributes, I was concerned with noone to hold the show together. This is actually a great idea; back to back cabarets with no breaks, it just flows, “It was actually my idea” said Eddie’s gorgeous daughter, Ali. I know, I know Eddie, but she serves the coffee.

No sooner had the lads finished there set, but Topazz took to the stage and the music continued until midnight. Back to Mikey Mike; he has been singing for as long as he can remember and turned pro about 20 years ago. Then, in 1997, took the plunge and joined us here in Tenerife. You might remember him from Georges Bar on San Telmo; you can now find him here in the Restaurante Margarita on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I have got to warn you, be early, on the night I was in: it was buzzing, the food looked great and it had an air of efficiency, reminiscent of a bygone era when good service was considered a priority. All in all, a must for a visit. And you won´t be disappointed. For further information look and listen to the good gig guide on Coast FM and in the Tenerife Weekly.

Until next time, keep it live, Gordon King.

Men In Black III (PG13)

Showing daily at 15:30 103 min

Starring

Action/Comedy/Sci-Fi

Will Smith as Agent J Tommy Lee Jones as Agent K Josh Brolin as Young Agent K

SYNOPSIS:

The Men in Black are back, and this time Agent J (Will Smith) must take a trip into the past in order to save both the future and his taciturn partner Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) in the third installment of the hit scifi comedy series. After 15 years of working with aliens from all across the cosmos, Agent J is sure he’s seen it all. But just when he’s getting the hang of the game, he learns that history has inexplicably been rewritten. In this new timeline of events, Agent

K has been dead for 40 years, and Earth will soon come under attack from an extraterrestrial force with the power to claim the entire planet. Now, in order to set the past straight and head off an invasion of epic proportions, Agent J must travel back to the year 1969, when Young Agent K (Josh Brolin) was just a fresh new face on the force. But Agent J only has 24 hours to find the source of the coming catastrophe and discern how his longtime partner ties into the situation -- should he fail he’ll be stuck in the past forever.

Coast FM GOOD GIG GUIDE Mon 28/5

Restaurante Margarita Elaine Alexander Mikey Mike Boogie Wonderland James Darling Indianna

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Scott Bateman Act Becky

Tue 29/5

Restaurante Margarita Michael J Grant Shiel Campbell Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Frank Farrow Cabaret Jasmin

Wed 30/5

Restaurante Margarita Mikey Mike Plus I.S. Topazz Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Ged Bolton

Thur 31/5

Restaurante Margarita Helena Campbell Ged Bolton James Darling Ronnie Canada Motown Gold Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret Helena

Fri 1/6

Restaurante Margarita Charlie Hodge Special Neil Diamond American Songbook

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere John Ashford Cabaret Michaela

Sat 2/6

Restaurante Margarita Sheila Tyson Motown Queen James Darling Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Claudio Cabaret Karen as Kylie

Sun 3/6

Restaurante Margarita Pip Brown Michael Buble Brads´Rock Dj Robbie Williams Till Midnight

Coconut Joe Parque de la Paz, LA Compere Scott Bateman Cabaret John Ashford

Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes with Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels Bulls Head Live Band Vagabonds St Eugenes With Dave Michaels

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

All Football Shown

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Stan Frasier

Good Pub Grub

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Tiny Bit of Shrek Cabaret Billy Porter

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Cabaret Dave Social or Tony Sullivan Premier Ray Wilde

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Shiel Campbell as Robbie Williams

Grandee O’Donnells With Gordon King later in Shenanigans

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris Compere Aidy Evans

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night Premier Ray Wilde

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Michael J Grant

Beverly Hills Los Cris Gordon King With The Rat Pack later in Shenanigans

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his music quiz and Karaoke

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Line dancing with Eileen Premier Ray Wilde

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Brad James

Beverly Hills Los Cris Compere Gordon King Silverpoint Men In Black

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his quiz and bingo

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Tiny Bit of Shrek Cabaret Tiny Bit of Elvis

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Big Quiz Night, chance to win 1,670 Euros

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Ric Gothard Cabaret Dions Rock n Roll Show

Beverley Hills Los Cris Gordon King as Neil Diamond Cabaret Alegria

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his Fun Karaoke

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Stan Fraser Premier Ray Wilde

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay Big Fun Night with Dave Tracey

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Paul Mac Cabaret Spencer Robson

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King Derek Shannon Shenanigans After Loony Toons

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his quiz and Play Your Cards Right

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Flicks Adrian Jay with Avril Taylor Silencio, Amarillo Bay Premier Special Guest Artist Ray Wilde

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Ric Gothard Cabaret Pip Brown

Beverley Hills, Piazza Los Cris Gordon King with Blues Bros

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with special swing night, join the Rat Pack, Suit up

Shambles Cc Mirador, Los Cris Compere Rick Gothard Cabaret Elaine Alexander

Shenanigans Gordon King after Freddy Kay Dean aka Loony Toons

The Heritage Bar San Marino, Los Cris The Big Man Neil with his bingo then Karaoke

Market Tavern Paloma Beach, Los Cris Compere Adrian Jay Premier Ray Wilde

Flicks Silencio, Amarillo Bay 4 Top Cabarets Every Week, Come Down, Join In

Good Gig Guide. For Further Information Call Gordon King On 693 732 536

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Sharples in Session By John Sharples

Ph woar! T h at Was A H ot On e

They say, on a regular basis, that the North of the island is cooler that the south. I certainly haven’t found that to always be the case. On many occasions, it has been warmer and sunnier in the Orotava valley than it has been in Las Américas. Last week was no exception. Official temperatures, which incidentally should always be taken in the shade and not in

Guachinches

direct sunlight, reached 40 degrees. High temperatures can become a problem in the north because that part of the island is much more humid due to a higher rainfall, and this helps to push them even higher. Whilst driving to work from the north to the south, the temperatures dropped quite dramatically, which was a very pleasant surprise!

Canarian soup and two or three other locally produced items. There is no beer or coke, only water and wine. The wine is to die for: rich in flavour

The guachinches that exist on the island are to be found in the wine producing areas. The whole idea of this very rustic cafe/ restaurant is that the wine producers can sell their wine with food, which must also be produced entirely in the local area. The food is usually huevos estampidos (posh egg and chips), Pork Chop or Fillet,

and highly potent. The seating is quite often an old box and the tables are cobbled together pieces of wood, but that is what makes these places a joy to visit. Now that the government has decided to start introducing further legislation for guachinches, I worry that this wonderful traditional Canarian experience might be lost under a pile of rules and regulations. Let’s hope a little sense prevails and they are allowed to remain just as they are. There are a few in the south, and the north of the island is littered with them. Look out for the word guachinche by the road side.

I wouldn’t take an all-inclusive holiday if it were handed to me on a plate. I like my particular brand of drink and I don’t like being tied down to one place for my food, however, many obviously like the concept. The hotels that run A.I. packages employ an enormous amount of Canarian people who, in turn, spend their hard earned wages in their towns and villages, etc. Many of those people that complain about A.I, do so because they believe that it is killing the bar trade. Their solution to this is that the government should limit A.I or ban it altogether. Well, that is only going to put lots of Canarian people out of work, so it is highly unlikely that it will happen. It is unfair to blame A.I. for the lack of people in bars. There are other causes to take into consideration. Nowadays, the hotels have learned that

keeping their customers in their venues means money in their tills. A great number of them run a full daily programme of events and night time is no longer just a twice a week organ player and a flamenco show. The hotel circuit is brimming with talented artistes who are capable of entertaining people from various countries; with magic, dance, drag, vocal groups and bands. Many hotels have also learned that keeping their drinks to a reasonable price is of paramount importance. This must all be having an effect on the numbers of people who visit the bars at night. It is a question of what the bars can do to get them there. Before karaoke came along, all bars seemed to be different. I’m not a karaoke fan, but understand that there are those who like to knock a couple of tunes out when on holiday and I know that there are football fans who want to watch every match. It sometimes seems that almost every bar has TV switched on or Karaoke ringing out. We popped out for a quiet drink one night and couldn’t find a quiet bar in the area that we were in. This is not a criticism of any bar, hotel, restaurant etc, but we must all keep looking to ourselves and how we can be original and always remain one step ahead of the rest. Not easy ... but then running a successful business has never been a doddle.

All Inclusive (A.I.) - Bad Boy?

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 sharples in session

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 advertisment

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 COMMUNITY MATTERS

Community matters

Written by Ken Cumming Pastor of Callao Salvaje Community Church

Can’t find God? It’s said, ‘An atheist can’t find God for the same reason a thief can’t find a policeman.’ Sometimes self-worth is at the core of unbelief. ‘The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God...’’ Psalm 14:1. Without God, you become your own god, which means there’s no higher power than yourself! But the God of the Bible proves His existence in three ways: 1) Creation. Many people are in prison today who weren’t caught at the

Don’t Be a Fool

scene of the crime, and no one actually witnessed the crime. What proved they did it? Fingerprints! DNA! Creation carries God’s fingerprints and DNA. ‘Look up into the heavens.Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name...’ (Isaiah 40:26). 2) Cross of Jesus. In creation you see God’s power, at the cross you see His love for you. In creation you see His hand, at the cross you see His heart. 3) Conscience. ‘Non-believers... even without having heard it...

demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right’ (Romans 2:14-15). Conscience is like having a Bible in your soul; no one was born without one. Voltaire, the French atheist, said, ‘It took twelve fishermen to build Christianity. I will show the world how one Frenchman can destroy it.’ After Voltaire died, the home in which he had lived became Europe’s most famous Bible distribution centre. Bottom line: Voltaire is dead; our God lives! Atheism is the greatest gamble of all. After all, what if there is a God and you stand before Him one day?

...You fool, this night your soul shall be required of you...’ Luke 12:20 The ambitious fool. Jesus told the story of a successful farmer who said, ‘...I will pull down my barns, and build greater...’ (v. 18). Evidently he was a good businessman and planner. But then he said: ‘I will say to my soul, Soul, you have plenty provisions stored up for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said to him, You fool, this night your soul shall be required of you...So is he that builds up treasure for himself, and doesn’t care about God’ (vv. 19-21). This man had a plan for time, but none for eternity. He thought about himself, but not God. He paid attention to his body, but not his soul. It’s said that the average body has

enough phosphorus to make eight hundred thousand match heads, enough sugar to go into sixty cubes, enough salt to cover twenty spoons, and enough iron to make about six euros’ worth of nails. The rest is just dust and water. When you pamper, promote and protect the part of you that will only live seventy or eighty years and neglect the part of you that will live on in either heaven or hell, God says you’re a fool. This man told himself he had ‘many years,’ but God said, ‘This night your soul shall be required of you.’ Don’t you realise that an accident, a blocked artery, a stray bullet, a plane with engine failure or a drunk driver could take you out in an instant? Wise up! The question is not will you die, but when? And are you ready to stand before God?

Tuesday 10.30am Little Angels Silencio Church Tuesday 11.00am Play Zone STCF Wednesday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje Friday 11.00am Stay n Play Callao Salvaje

Praise &Worship With Ken

Some of the Local Church Sunday Morning Services Las Americas Anglican Church Pueblo Canario 10.15am Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 11:00am Los Cristianos International Church Princesa Dácil Hotel 11:00am Costa del Silencio Silencio Church Coral Mar Square 11:00am Callao Salvaje Community Church Sueño Azul 11:00am Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Assembly Eng / Spanish 11:00am

Every Sunday 7am to 9am SPANISH CORNER Welcome to our next issue of the Spanish corner. I hope you found last week’s words useful. Let’s continue with our progress. Months

Some of the Local Church Sunday Evening Services Los Cristianos South Tenerife Christian Fellowship Apolo Centre 6:00pm Valle San Lorenzo Calvary Deutsch Bi Lingual Eng/Ger 2:00pm Las Americas The Living Room Veronica’s 6:00pm Some Other Church activities Many of the local churches also hold mid week services and Bible studies So phone the numbers below or check out the information on their websites.

Spanish

Phonetically

English

Enero

En-air-oh

January

Febrero

Feb-rare-oh

February

Marzo

Mar-so

March

Abril

Ab-ril

April

Saturday Market Free Literature stall at the Las Américas market.

Mayo

Mai-oh

May

SHE Europe (Confidential HELPLINE for women in crisis) 690 964 145

Junio

Hune-e-oh

June

Also if visiting the North of the Island Puerto del la Cruz Anglican Church North Tenerife Christian Fellowship, next to Post Office

Julio

Hule-e-oh

July

Agosto

Ag-ost-oh

August

Septiembre

Sep-te-em-bre

September

Octubre

Oc-tu-bre

October

Noviembre

Nob-e-em-bre

November

Diciembre

Diss-e-em-bre

December

Tuesday Little Angels Mums & Tots Silencio Church 10:30am Tuesday Play Zone Mums & Tots STCF 11:00am Wednesday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am Friday Stay n Play Mums & Tots Callao Salvaje 11:00am The Living Room (Christian drop-in centre) Veronicas Las Americas 922 75 23 64 (above Burger King) Tue – Fri

11.30am

More details on all the above can be found on the following websites: www.christiansintenerife.co.uk covering most of the churches www.silenciochurch.org 922 78 40 17 / 609 565 528 www.tenerifechurch.com 922 74 20 45 / 679 660 277 www.callaosalvajecommunitychurch.com 922 78 48 77 / 654 932 541 www.stcf.org 922 79 00 07 / 660 183 760 www.caictenerife.com 922 73 16 91 / 628 107 316 www.ntcf.org 922 35 10 11 / 677 349 088

4 -7:00pm

See you next week!

Carlos.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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health, beauty & fashion

Your Hair & Beauty Advice Column by Jade & staff at The Perfect Gift Salon

Say Goodbye to Sagging Skin!

Just as we were getting to grips with wrinkles, along comes the sagging of our skin, as we didn’t have enough to worry about! We keep hearing of ´this and that´ miracle product, that it leaves us wondering which ones really work, if at all any, so I thought it was about time that I got to the bottom of this problem. What is sagging skin? As we get older our skin loses its fatty tissue, collagen and elastin, which results in volume loss, sagging skin. It tends to affect the bottom half of our face from the cheeks to the jaw line dragging our features downwards, which is the aging effect. How do we reduce it? Other than surgery, there really is no 100% cure for sagging skin, but facial massage, jaw exercises and specialized creams can work to stimulate the skin and muscles, boosting the production of collagen and elastin. How does aging make it worse? The menopause can reduce hormonal activity in the skin, resulting in drier skin, more wrinkles and sagging contours, which is why women over 50 tend to suffer more. So here´s how to get results without spending a fortune, or going under the dreaded knife. Firstly drink plenty of water; it hydrates the skin, leaving it softer and plumper. Quit smoking, it is a huge benefactor for tired, dry and sagging skin. Especially around the mouth and neck. Keep your skin moisturized; from the collar bone up, using these ´No-knives face lifts´ 1) With your index and middle fingers, start at the centre of your jaw, and sweep along the jawbone to the ears. Repeat at least 6 times. 2) Place your fingertips on the centre of your nose and make small circular motions outwards and upwards, on the cheekbone

Line Up

Black is as much of a perennial favourite in the beauty world as it is in the fashion one, with inky liquid, pencil and gel liners a staple component of most women’s cosmetics bags, as well as a key part of every make-up artist’s backstage kit. For spring/summer 2012, black liner was used in a multitude of ways - and to much more dramatic effect than we’re used to for the summer season. Sultry, smudgy looks at Alexander Wang, Iceberg and Emilio Pucci were joined by graphic, winged looks at the likes of Marios Schwab and Jonathan Saunders, meaning that, whatever your style, there’s a look to suit everyone’s tastes.

4) Go back to cheek bones and firmly push fingertips under cheekbone, press for 3 seconds and relax. Repeat 6 times.

area. Repeat 6 times 3) Move your fingertips up to the centre of your forehead, working upwards towards your hairline in small circular motions. Repeat 8 times.

You can also try these ´Facial exercises´ although, perhaps when no one is around! 1) Open your eyes as wide as you can, lifting the eyebrows up onto your forehead. Stretch your neck muscles upwards as tight as possible and open your mouth as wide as you can, moving it upwards and outwards as if your saying WOW!. Do this for 20 seconds. Repeat 3 times. 2) Stretch your mouth and lips out as far as possible, making a goldfish face, then make goldfish up and down movements. Repeat this exercise 20 times. 3) Poke your tongue out of your mouth as far as you can, stretching your jaw line, and hold there for 10 seconds, repeat 6 times.

4) although it takes 43 muscles to frown but only 17 muscles to smile, we all prefer to see a smile. There are many types of facials to choose from that give great benefits of replenishing and lifting tired skin. Here are just a few that offer the benefits of rehydrating, rejuvinating and combating tired wrinkled skin. The exfoliating and lifting facial.

This is a non surgical facial with a deep skin treatment that cleanses, rehydrates, lifts and rejuvinates the neck and facial skin through a series of cleansing, skin toning masks and exfoliation, all with an hour of a lifting neck and face massage. Youth booster facial. This is ideal for deepening frown lines, which are made worse by stress. The treatment starts with a four-phase cleansing and exfoliating process using concentrated

products and involving plenty of heavenly massage. A heated sauna mask is then applied to boost circulation. Lastly the facial is completed with a relaxing hydrating massage. Platinum facial

This treatment involves a deep cleanse with a heated sauna mask, which reduces fine lines, followed by a relaxing massage with a hydrating mask containing dead sea minerals, a special formula containing lavender and jasmine to rejuvenate the skin. After this a thermal mask is applied followed by plenty of moisturizing and massaging. For beauty and hair advice, email us at: the.perfect.gift@hotmail.com

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 health, beauty & fashion

Swedish Fashion Designer Releases Edgy Denim Collection for Spring & Summer

Swedish fashion designer Orjan Andersson began making his mark in the fashion community and changing the face of denim as part of the founding creative team behind Cheap Monday. Andersson worked for Lee before beginning Cheap Monday, a denim brand which quickly became a household name among Sweden’s youth. Their trendy, low-slung fit and reasonable price, alongside the brand’s logo, comprised of a skull bearing an inverted cross on its forehead, caught the attention of fashionistas and fashion designers alike. Andersson hoped to change the craze for designer jeans that cost consumers anywhere between $140 to $250. Despite his rise in popularity, Andersson maintained his well-priced denim wear. He continued to handprint his own shirts and jeans at Cheap Monday, which seemingly flew off the shelves. However, Andersson has said that he is not opposed to high priced jeans; though, he recognises that none of the designer jean companies have tried to release a line of less expensive wear. Andersson has been busy developing a new brand under his own name after Cheap Monday was sold to H&M. OrjanAndersson denim features trendy, close fitting jeans

with a unisex appeal, as well as hand-printed t-shirts with a rocker, hipster edge. Many bear the phrase, “‘Fran Ö Till A’,” which translates to

“From A to Z” — a clever word play of Andersson’s initials. The four cuts Andersson offers include: Style Super, Style Wide Slim, Style Unisex, and Style Stiff.

Brain Exercises: A Strong Defense In The Fight Against Alzheimer’s

Stimulating the mind boosts selfesteem and might even make you feel younger. Research suggests that brain exercises may help delay or prevent Alzheimer’s.

Can stimulating the brain with new challenges slow down the onset of dementia or even prevent Alzheimer’s disease altogether? Epidemiological studies randomised clinical trials and neurobiology studies would lead us to believe so. Sufficient evidence is still lacking for absolute proof; but whatever the outcome, continuing to educate – and thus stimulate – brain function certainly can’t hurt. Boosting brain power can make you feel younger and smarter. Read on to understand why the body’s physical health is so important to brain function and why the brain needs a continuing feed of new challenges. Try some of the ideas mentioned here to stimulate your mind or come up with some brain exercises of your own. Good Physical Health Helps Your Brain The threshold of old age prompts us to pay closer attention to heart health, vascular conditions, cholesterol levels, oxygen saturation and blood pressure. If we’re smart, we start exercising regularly, and we drink more water. We give more attention to good nutrition to avoid gaining too much weight. Common sense and a few lucky breaks have made us wiser – and more cautious – so we can live a long productive life. We make changes to our homes and lifestyle to preserve our health and prevent dangerous falls. We allow our children to help look out for us. And finally, we visit the doctor more than we used to. We (hopefully) heed medical advice to stop smoking, avoid abuse of dangerous drugs and prescription medications, and refrain from consuming too much alcohol. The effort we make to keep our bodies healthy as we age will contribute to our brain health, too. Why the Increasing Interest in Brain Health? Dementia, especially Alzheimer’s disease, is a hot topic not only in the medical community, but also in the eyes of general public. Alzheimer’s – a degenerative brain disease once thought to be a natural part of aging – was not considered a major disease until the 1970’s. Prior to then, most people paid little attention to brain health.

How to Keep Your Brain Active, Fit and Healthy You’ve finished your formal education, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop learning. Perhaps you’ve reached retirement age and no longer have to work. Whatever your situation, you can still get involved in intellectual activities. One of the best ways to stimulate the mind is with continuing education or community school classes. You don’t have to enrol in chemistry or physics (unless you want to), but choose something that’s new, interesting and/or exciting, and challenging. • Learn a new language or enrol in a dance class. • Take a carpentry course and build that new decking you’ve always wanted. • While you’re in the waiting room waiting to see the doctor, challenge yourself with word puzzles and games of strategy. • Learn fly fishing, organic gardening or gourmet cooking. • Create a video game or computer program. • Take up a musical instrument or join a community chorus. • Join community or online debates. • Study astrology, meteorology,

archaeology, criminology or some other interesting topic. • Work for a political figure in your area by conducting research on a variety of topics. • Attend a community school class of your choice or conduct a class of your own. • Go online where you can take part in academic courses or learn to build a website. The idea is to do something that’s both challenging and fun without being stressful. Why Does the Brain Need New Stimuli for Effective Exercise? Simply put, doing the same old thing all the time can be boring to your brain. No new pathways are established once a task is learned and stored in the memory. Think of your brain as idling, waiting for something new it can bite into and consume. “New findings on the adult brain establish two principles,” according to The Oregon Health and Science University website, in an article titled, “The Adult Brain”. “First, the adult brain continues to grow and

develop throughout our entire life. Second, brain development in adulthood is shaped mostly by outside stimuli. This new thinking means that we can do healthy “workouts” for our brains, as well as our bodies!” Our brains biologically adapt in response to new experiences or changes. Neuroscientists use the term plasticity to describe the brain’s ability to continuously learn and adapt. Sometimes the brain even finds ways to overcome huge obstacles in the wake of injury. Sandra J. Ackerman, contributing author to The DANA Guide to Brain Health, describes how the brain interprets old habits in her article titled, “The Brain in Adult Life and Normal Aging – The Dana Guide” Ackerman writes, “Your brain allows you to become familiar with new circumstances through the process of “habituation,” in which its response to a sensory stimulus (pictures, music, the feel of a new pair of shoes) gradually decreases in intensity as the stimulus continues. In general, the brain is primed to focus on what changes, rather than what remains in a steady state.” Taking a Proactive Stand Against Alzheimer’s Disease Two of the scariest symptoms associated with old age are the gradual loss of memory and the ability to think. Fear of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis has caused society in general – especially aging seniors and their families – to become fiercely proactive in an attempt to slow down or possibly avoid the onset of the disease. While new drugs to prevent Alzheimer’s are being tested, seniors – especially those at risk for Alzheimer’s dementia – focus on mental exercises and better overall health practices. We would all like to believe that keeping a healthy mind will delay or even prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s. Spouses and families are willing to try most anything to keep this fatal disease from striking a loved one. Encourage the senior in your life to seek out new experiences and enjoy every bit of life while they still can. Challenge your own brain now while there’s still time. It certainly can’t hurt to try.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 WILDE’S WORLD / WHO RATTLED YOUR CAGE?

WILDE’S WORLD This week’s news saw Spain saying NO to the Guardia Civil request for short sleeve shirts for the summer. The Unified Association of Civil Guards, AUGC, has complained this week that they will have to work in the summer in long-sleeved shirts, because their superiors will not let them use short sleeves despite

Noisy Neighbours

A Canadian woman called the emergency services after mistaking her neighbour’s noisy toilet efforts for a violent disturbance. The woman, of Victoria in British Columbia, was worried her neighbour was in trouble after hearing a lengthy bout of loud yelling and shouting. She heard the noises coming from the man’s basement at about 5am and dialled 911, Deputy police chief, John Ducker, said officers rushed to the scene to check on the unidentified man’s well-being. After banging on the door of the apartment for several minutes, the unharmed man finally answered the door. “When questioned about the amount of noise he was making, the man explained that he had been essentially on the toilet having his morning constitutional but he was done now,” explained deputy chief Ducker. “The officers asked him to try to keep the noise down in such future endeavours and he said he would do his best.” I happened to catch an episode or two of Keith Lemon the other week. Brash, fresh and utterly shameless, but all the same, I couldn’t help but giggle at the antics. Somehow it manages to find the teenager in you; the kind of thing that makes you laugh at burping… One of my favourite parts has to be the toilet humour version of ‘Chinese whispers’. I don’t ever remember it being that funny as a child, but if you listen closely today it still goes on, only nowadays it is based on supposition and rumour. Normally negative, and generally jealousy or gossip-mongering! oday I took my father back to the airport, having no idea where the past two weeks had gone! Having visited me here on the rock twice a year for as long as I have lived here, he is now more local than tourist, and it becomes ever difficult to find somewhere new to take him. But this year I wanted to find somewhere special for him having missed his 70th birthday in December. There was a restaurant I thought would be ideal. A place I went to many years ago, but the Chinese whispers insisted it was ‘overpriced’, ‘over-hyped’, a shadow of its former reputation and past its prime!! Now I can be very stubborn at times….. Most times, truth be told, so I made the decision to ignore the ‘word on the street’ and give it a go! That restaurant was Molino Blanco. I would like to set a few rumours straight: immediately upon entry, we were greeted with warm smiles, despite not having a reservation; we were courteously shown to a wonderful table close enough to the piano stage to enjoy the entertainment, but far enough away as to not spoil our conversation.

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the high temperatures of the summer over 40º in some areas. They demand ‘a uniform adequate for the ambient temperature’, and note two days ago an agent fainted in Lepe, Huelva, because of the heat and crashed into another car. They note in that case the air conditioning in the official vehicle he was driving was broken. Have a heart guys.....

Wedding day Uggs

Attention, brides-to-be! Getting excited about your big day, but worried about the prospect of getting blisters and/or falling over on the dance floor? Well, look no further, because the must-have footwear for winter brides is here. Wedding Uggs. There’s the Baily I Do! boot, built like a standard Ugg but jazzed up with an iridescent sheen and a Swarovski crystal button. There’s the Sparkles I Do! Boot, dotted with sequins and bound together with satin. And finally, those ladies who want to show off their pedicure can sport the Fluff Flip Flop I Do!, a sandal

covered in shearling with a baby blue bow. This is real the Australian makers of these c o s y sheepskin boots have released this amazing wedding line this week for those who desire comfort over tradition.

And finally

As mentioned in the national news sections of this issue, two gay penguins in Madrid are about to become parents. Six months ago Inca and Rayas fell in love, according to the zoo keepers and we are told they had a dream, of being parents. Considering the solidity of their relationship those responsible in the park have given them an egg in adoption which they are incubating like any other penguin. In a few weeks we hope for a happy ending. For more wild news stories check out Wilde at the weekend every Saturday 12 till 3 on Coast FM.

By Dave Michaels

Chinese Whispers The service was prompt, efficient and delivered by immaculately dressed staff, which were polite, but not over bearing, and always just a wave away. The food was, without question, some of the finest I have had the pleasure of enjoying ANYWHERE, never mind just on our little rock. The décor hadn’t changed from my last visit I am pleased to say, still filled with nooks and crannies and points of interest, meaning the restaurant still has a unique ambience. The entertainment was cultured, yet not stuffy and a genuine pleasure to enjoy. Then the bill came!! es I have eaten in cheaper places, but it was by no means over priced for the service, food, and setting that we enjoyed. (Well under 40 Euros per head including starters, main courses and drinks). I like to tell it as it is, I am no food critic, but I know what I like. I would recommend this place to anyone. The event (taking all into account, this is an appropriate word) was everything I could have hoped for, so if you are ‘Joe Normal’, like me, then save it for special occasions,

you will not be disappointed. Isn’t it funny how compliments can make you blush yet the odd careless word can stick in like a knife and stay noticeably longer! Sometimes it is a simple case of thoughtlessness, I’m sure! I am currently in a very lucky position; providing cover for two of the finest comperes on the island. Both are either award winners or award nominees. These are big shoes indeed to fill. So when you are trying your best, and feel like you are succeeding, why do some people feel they simply HAVE to come and ask you, halfway through a song, “when will the resident compere will be back!!” And then continue to tell you, that although they are having a great time, the other person is much better and would have made their holiday? Is this inconsiderate or just plain rude? Any other person in the venues could provide this information, maybe my skin isn’t as thick as it could be at times, but when someone comes dancing over and hits you with this kind of ‘slap in the face’, it can knock you off balance and spoil the

Don’t call again A German woman has been fined for blowing a whistle down the telephone at a call-centre worker. The woman, 61, from Pirmasens in Rhineland-Palatinate had got fed up with a constant stream of cold-calls to her house. But she ended up in court and was fined the equivalent of £650 after she damaged the hearing of her victim. The unnamed woman told a judge in a local court that she was so annoyed by the unending stream of marketing calls that she snapped and blew a whistle into the receiver. She was hoping just to deter the company from calling her again, but ended up convicted of bodily harm after giving the female call-centre employee hearing problems and tinnitus. The woman initially challenged the fine but decided to pay it shortly before an appeal hearing was due to be heard.

night for everyone else in the bar. I have seen customers walk up to tribute acts and tell them to their face, mid-show, that another act doing the same type of show was much better! Imagine, if you would, telling your partner that they were wonderful in bed, but you had much more fun with your Ex “any chance they could do it that way!” Take away the lights and sparkles and sometimes people forget we are all just human. Perhaps this week, I have been suffering from a few more nerves than usual, understandably so and maybe a couple more emotions than normal as well. As I mentioned, after a wonderful two weeks with my father, it was time to take him back to the airport, and wave goodbye for another six months. Shakespeare wrote in Romeo & Juliet, “parting is such sweet sorrow” Baloney! Try it!! ust before the silly season kicks in, a lot of workers on the island will be visiting, or be being visited by family and friends. In the words of Paul Stone (the Billy Idol show), “two weeks from now, you will be looking at your photos, laughing at the things you did. These are the moments that count, make the memories today, live today, and enjoy today”. To all the people expecting family, take the words from Paul as a given, not Chinese whispers. Laugh out loud, and enjoy these times, they will never come again. Oh and if you feel the need to ask an impertinent question to the person on stage, ask a by-stander, sometimes the horses’ mouth is busy trying to give you a fantastic holiday, the way they know how to!!

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 CALDERS CONFESSIONS

Flirty Friend

Calders Confessions Calder spent twelve years working as PA and Co-presenter with Jeremy Kyle on various radio stations and has now joined the team at Coast FM where he answers listeners´dilemmas each Sunday night on the airwaves. We are also very grateful to have him here, answering your questions and queries as part of the Tenerife Weekly team. If you have an issue you can`t overcome or just need general help and confidential advice, why not email Calder: calder@coastfmtenerife.com

Me and my friend have been best mates since I was 5, and used to talk about everything. We live just round the corner from each other and she’d pop round most nights and we’d go on double dates. She’s always been a big flirt, and lately she had a boob job. Since then I feel like she’s been flirty like mad with my husband. I know she and her partner are going through a rocky patch, and I’ve been there for her after every row they’ve had. But whenever she comes round now she’ll sit with my husband in the living room while I’m getting dinner ready in the kitchen, and even though I’ve got no evidence I’ve just got a really weird feeling something’s going on. I don’t want to ask her out right and risk upsetting her, but I don’t want to be taken for a mug either. Leanne

Surely love, the simple answer is to have a word with your husband? We’ve already established that this mate of yours is an out and out flirt, so it’s probably pointless talking to her anyway. Explain to the old man that you’re not comfortable with things as they are and see how he reacts. If he has a shred of decency and any respect for you at all, he will make damn sure that your mind is put at ease. The alternative is to say nothing and let this thing eat away at you until you can’t take anymore. The bottled up jealousy and frustration could easily turn you into a very angry and hateful woman. Strike whilst the iron is hot and tell your husband that things need to change. If he has a problem with that, ask him how he would feel if the tables were turned? Would he be calm and understanding if you were letting one if his mates flirt like the clappers with you? You owe it to all concerned to have the conversation and put this thing to bed once and for all. Good luck with it, Leanne!

Family favourites

I’ve got two kids, a son and a daughter, and I’m completely ashamed to say that I favour my son. Aged 16, he’s only one year older than my daughter, but he’s got a great sense of humour and is really easy to talk to, while my daughter on the hand is moody, aggressive and always causing rows. Over the years I’ve always tried to treat them exactly the same, but lately I’m finding it increasingly more difficult when all I ever get back is abuse. Sheila

I think its human nature to have favourites, Sheila, but as a mother of two and a grown woman, you need to balance that out a little. Cast your mind back to when you were a 15 year old girl: remember all the strange new feelings you experienced and the physical changes you went through? Right now, your little girl desperately needs the benefit of your advice and experience even if she doesn’t realise it herself! Your son may be “Golden Boy”, but perhaps that’s because you’ve given him the confidence to be who he needs and wants to be. If I were you, I’d think long and hard about your relationship with your daughter before it’s too late. By the sounds of things, you’ve grown

Mum’s the word

My mum died a few months ago and the other day I was clearing out her house when I found one of her old diaries. I was flicking through it and I saw some stuff which I wish I hadn’t. Basically, from what Mum had written I think she had an affair after I was born and consequently my younger sister has a different dad to me. Me and my sister have always looked really different, but I put it down to one of us looking like dad, and one like mum. We’ve got three older brothers too and they all look quite different so I’d never been suspicious. But now, I don’t know whether to come clean and tell my sister or keep quiet. I feel angry with Mum too. How could she keep such a huge secret from us and Dad all those years? Geraldine The whole issue hinges on just how certain you

apart and I know you don’t want to hear this, but the blame lies firmly at your feet! Teenagers are notoriously stroppy and often more than a handful but a good parent has patience and understanding. You’ve got to put some effort into helping your little girl. If you can manage that, despite her moods and your favouritism, you’ll reap the rewards and spare yourself a lifetime of regret. You’ve said it yourself; your son is confident and easy going so he will most likely understand that you need to focus on his sister for a while. Act now, Sheila, before the distance between you becomes too great. are about the facts, Geraldine. If you’re absolutely convinced that your sister could have a different father then my view is that she has a right to know. At the end of the day, conclusive proof either way can be obtained through DNA testing. The truth is the only thing that matters here, isn’t it? Allowing your sister to carry on living a lie would be wrong and you owe it to her to be as upfront as possible about things. The seeds of doubt have already been planted in your mind, so I really don’t think you have a choice here. The past can’t be changed, but the future certainly can, so start thinking about how and when to approach your sister with this news. Who knows, you could be letting your imagination get the better of you. There’s only one way to find out! Start out by just talking things through on a one to one basis until you have cast iron proof that your sister has a different dad. Once you know the facts, the way forwards is always a lot clearer.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 PSYCHE / HOROSCOPES / local info

Mind, Body AndwithSpirit Liana Mẽ Aly Ah

• International Intuitive • Life Enhancement Coach • Spiritual Mentor

Me Time

In the last few articles, I have touched on how we should be working on ourselves. The relationship with our self is the most important relationship in our lives. All too often, we run about like headless chickens; servicing other’s needs, usually in an unselfish way. This kind of behaviour is not in our best interest when we put our needs last in the queue. We have grown up being taught to put others first, but in reality it is not the best spiritual practise. We are all individual souls on our journey here and have to experience our own personal journeys. For some of us it may be that we have entered into a karmic agreement of selfless service. For most of us, we have to learn to reconnect with self, and the universal source of all things. When we value other’s needs above our own, we undervalue ourselves. Many people will say they have busy lives and do not have time to be with themselves; usually they are carers running after others, seeing their needs as not important. Or you may be someone who fills your day with business or projects so you don’t have time to do anything personal for yourself. At some point in your life an event will happen; an injury, accident, or loss will occur to bring you to a standstill. This is a time to reflect on what matters in your life, and what is most important to you. Why let it be a life-changing event to bring you to this realisation, when all you need to do is a few simple things. Firstly, learn to say NO more often to others, if it is not in your best interest to give your time or energy away. Start each day deciding to do something, which will please you and make you feel good. Give yourself some ME time daily because you are worth it! Allow yourself some time to meditate or daydream. If you are a busy

person, you may see this as a waste of time and a cardinal sin, but taking time out of a busy schedule allows your body to slow down, and the body systems to work at a normal rate and you will experience a feeling of calm. This week saw my return from Scotland where I was attending my daughter’s wedding. The lead up to the event and reuniting with estranged family was very stressful. Plus sleeping away from home in 3 different places and new beds meant less sleep for me. When I returned to the island, I felt very tired. I value my self and needed ME time. I spent a day by the pool soaking up the sun and swimming in the water. All very necessary for my healing and equilibrium. Time out to daydream, doze, and swim was very beneficial for me. A day spent like this was all I needed to be back up and running at full speed again. When we operate at our optimum we are being the best we can be, and we cannot operate at our best if we do not have timeout. Meditating or just daydreaming allows our mind to slow down, and at these times, we are more open to inspiration, ideas and creative thoughts about our lives. So give yourself some value, say no once in a while and put yourself first with Me time daily. All you have to do in this life is be happy….. so make the right choices for you and everything will flow to you the way you want it. If you think busy, “I don’t have time” thoughts, you will never have time for yourself. Change the way you think…change the way you live!

Contact me on 672 994 666 or lovieart@ gmail.com More info on www.liana.lovie.com

Until next week, LIANA MẼ ALY AH

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS I am Spiritual agony aunt, and will answer any concerns or questions anyone may have about their difficulties in life or curiosity into the spiritual field. Or if anyone wants to give me topics to discuss here, please contact me, liana@tenerifeweekly.es

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Weekly Horoscopes

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You get more chances to improve your financial situation, so make the most of a special aspect between Mercury and Jupiter on Monday. Meanwhile, the recent Solar Eclipse may have interesting news for you. If you haven’t had it yet, you may get it once Mercury moves into Gemini on Thursday. Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Your brightest and most practical ideas seem to take shape on Monday. Share them, do research, or talk to key people for best results. There is a gradual shift of focus to finances and financial issues. You’ll be inspired to look for bargains and be a lot savvier about the way you do business. Be careful on Friday. Gemini May 21 - June 20 After the recent Solar Eclipse in your sign, you may be reeling from some of the changes. They might encourage you to follow your passion and so put you on the path to success. Mercury moves into Gemini on Thursday, so you’ll be truly in your element. It’s time to get up to speed. Cancer June 21 - July 22 The Sun has recently moved into your spiritual zone, and Mercury moves in later in the week. You’re more connected to your inner world and so may feel more vulnerable than usual. Don’t overcrowd your schedule, but make time to reflect on the past year and what you could have done better, and think about what you’d like to achieve in the future.

Emergencies Emergency services (all) National Police Local police Ambulance Fire Brigade Guardia Civil

112 091 092 061 080 062

Pharmacy information and locator (24 hours) 922 282 424 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

Tour operators Cosmos 922 793 802 Thomas Cook 922 757 409 Thomson 922 798 607 TUI 922 777 720 Transport

Buses

TITSA

(Tenerife’s public bus company)

922 531 300

The “Bono-Bus” discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%

Radio taxis

922 641 112 922 747 511

Note: taxi cabs display a “SP” (servicio público) plate on the rear of the car.

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) For flights from Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights

Flight information 902 404 704 (line open 24 hours)

Leo July 23 - Aug 22 There is quite a buzz building up in your social life. There may be a few changes to contend with after the recent Solar Eclipse. You might join a new group or find a friend you really get along with. There’s plenty of opportunity for flirting and romance, too. The weekend may bring news that encourages you to take a vacation. Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22 If you’ve been updating your skill set, you now get a chance to put it all into action in the workplace. The focus shifts to your career goals, so whether you’re looking for a job or want a promotion or better deal all round, you’ll be eager to research your options and impress the right people. Libra Sept 23 - Oct 22 Monday’s conjunction between Mercury and Jupiter may be the perfect influence you need to talk to your bank manager about a loan or a line of credit. Jupiter will give you a helping hand in this area for a little while longer, so make use of it if you haven’t already. The focus then shifts and encourages you to get out of your comfort zone. Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21 The focus shifts to financial issues, particularly loans, taxes, mortgages, and your partner’s finances. You may want to re-organize your debts or any other aspect of your finances that would benefit. Be careful on Wednesday and Friday, when there are aspects to Neptune.

Useful Numbers

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Monday brings opportunities on the work front, which may mean good news on some level. Later the focus shifts to relationships, especially as Mercury joins Venus and the Sun in Gemini. There is warmth and good feeling, which can help. Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You still have opportunities for romance, creative projects, and relaxed fun. An idea on Monday may spur you to action, and could be very productive, too. The focus gradually shifts to work, lifestyle, and health issues, especially once curious Mercury moves into Gemini on Thursday. Aquarius Jan 19 - Feb 18 Jupiter continues to bring luck to your home zone, but it won’t be there for too much longer. If you want to get started on any home-based projects, get a mortgage, buy, or sell, go for it now and tap into your good fortune. The focus has shifted to your fun, leisure, and romance zone. You may want to get out more with the purpose of enjoying life. Get involved with activities. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 You may have made great strides recently by taking your success seriously and making a point of promoting yourself. This has boosted your confidence and may have brought extra business your way, as well as connected you to new friends and interests. There’s a shift to home and family matters, with plenty of opportunities to entertain.

Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office)

902 003 121

Airport information 922 759 000 Tourist information 922 392 037

Multi-lingual police central office 902 102 112

TFN - Tenerife North Airport

Local police

For all domestic flights and some international and mainland services

Red Cross Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

(Los Rodeos)

Flight information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General information 922 635 800

National Ferry Services Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252 Tourist offices Costa Adeje 922 750 633 El Médano 922 176 002 La Laguna 922 631 194 La Orotava 922 323 041 Las Galletas 922 730 133 Los Cristianos 922 757 137 Los Llanos de Aridane 922 401 899 Playa de las Américas 922 796 668 Playa de las Vistas 922 787 011 Puerto de la Cruz 922 386 000 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 289 394 Santiago del Teide 922 860 348

Call this number and ask for an English operator to make an official report or complaint.

922 757 006

Hospitals & Medical centres 094 Hospital Las Américas, Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022 Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000 Irish Consulate 922 745 671 British Consulate Address: Plaza Wayler, 8, 1o, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife 922 286 863 Opening hours: Mon-Fri, 8:30am - 1:30pm British Consul: Matthew Vickers British Vice-Consul Helen Keating

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 PETS’ PAGE

Pets’ Corner Another success story and a big Thank You!

A huge Thank You goes out to Logan and Rae-Anne on Golf del Sur who are the quick thinking rescuers of “Rayas”, the water turtle who went missing two weeks ago. They found her wandering in the road and jumped into action ensuring she had water,

food and shelter. Following the “Lost” article in the Tenerife Weekly they phoned me up and managed to re-unite turtle and owner. This just goes to show, again, how effective advertising of missing pets can be. Thank you to both of you.

Acción del Sol’s weekly news

It’s been a very busy week at the refuge, with lots of puppies being brought in from the various Ayunimentos; they are all gorgeous and looking for new loving homes.

The educational programme has again been in full swing with more and more children learning about animal welfare, here in Tenerife. The adult German learning classes continue at the refuge and it is a great way for the students to learn and the dogs are enjoying all the extra attention and walks. Last week saw the first students come from Germany for a week’s work experience, so next week’s report will be by one of the students giving an account of there working week at the refuge. They will learn handson experience in all aspects of animal welfare and care. Acción Del Sol, for those who have not visited, is built on a 10,000m site near the Parque Eolica Exit 51 on the TF1.

Useful Numbers Dog & Cat Grooming 628 859 973

If you find an abandoned dog

Arona - 010 Everywhere else – 112 24 Hour Vets Fanabe 617 483 707 El Medano 607 346 183 Playa San Juan 922 832 344

There are facilities for approximately 200 dogs including individual kennels and a large outdoor play area as well as a fully equipped veterinary clinic, which is staffed by a full time vet. All dogs are castrated and receive full veterinary care including; inoculations, micro chipping, flea and heart worm treatment, to try to minimise their suffering, and to try and control the breeding here in Tenerife.

Please call 922 778 630 for more information or if you would like to help out in anyway. Towels and blankets are always needed for the dogs if you have any to spare. They would be very much appreciated by our four-legged friends. The refuge is situated at Poligono De Industrial Estate, Granadilla, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the Parque Eolica where the windmills are and it is open to the public Monday Friday 3-6pm.

Welcome to Tenerife Weekly’s Pets’ Page

My name is Steph and some of you may have heard me on Coast FM each Thursday when I try to find good homes for fantastic pets. Each week this page will be filled with both useful and entertaining information to keep you up to date with the world of pets here in the Canaries.

Dog & Cat Grooming Over This Summer Period

Now I am in my third trimester of pregnancy I have had several concerned clients wondering what will happen. However, I must point out that my pet grooming service will still be very much in action for several weeks to come and after the birth of our baby. I will be offering home visits for another 7 weeks or so and the easier ones can continue a little nearer the due date. However, I will be offering a collection and delivery service, free of charge, over the period when I will not be doing home visits. Don’t forget to get your pet booked in over the next few weeks and then there will be just a very short break before I resume grooming. Make sure you take advantage of the free collection service, or you can find me on Golf del Sur; should you wish to drop off. I can be called on 628 859 973 for bookings.

Paws for Thought:

Cupita is a gorgeous Cocker Spaniel who was beaten and dumped in a barranco. She is currently in the care of a kind volunteer, but would benefit from a new home as soon as possible. She is aged approximately 7 years old and is very friendly and loving. Please call 671 362 138 Several small and medium dogs are awaiting new homes at The Little Dogs’ Home. All the dogs come from a happy, safe environment where they are well cared for and loved. If you would like to go and visit them and/or adopt a needy dog you can contact them on 672 917 193

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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gardening

Basics of Landscape Design – Part 1

can be a terror; especially to a new landscape and, if sufficient spaces are not allotted, both have a way of creating their own space (even if it is in the middle of that bed of prized plants). Don’t think simply of the animals and kids on the property; that basketball will tear up the perennial border no matter which side of the property line it came from, so take the neighbours into account too. Space for recreation should take the adults into account as well. I am no fan of lawn space for a number of reasons, but sometimes greensward is a necessary evil; don’t skimp where that’s the case. Finally think about how you move through the garden when

maintaining it; beds should make mowing easier (I like gentle curves), not harder, hoses should have hose guides at the appropriate corners, beds should have stepping stones or the like to move amongst the plants without compacting soil, etc. The everyday mechanics of maintaining the garden are often overlooked by professionals, let alone the amateur designer; yet these small points become larger as you use the garden day in and day out. A little forethought can make your life a LOT easier down the road, and that’s every time you work in the garden. Join us next week for part 2

kindly submitted by Tim Fells

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

6 9 5 4 7 1 2 3 8

1 9 4 8 6 5 7 3 2 7 6 5 2 3 1 8 4 9 3 8 7 1 9 2 6 5 4 2 4 9 6 5 7 3 8 1 6 5 1 3 8 4 2 9 7 4 2 3 9 7 8 5 1 6

A little tougher

An easy one

B Tr rain ai n

8 3 1 6 2 9 5 4 7

8 3 2 7 4 9 1 6 5

4 2 7 5 3 8 1 6 9 1 5 3 9 6 7 8 2 4 2 6 9 8 1 4 7 5 3 7 8 4 3 5 2 6 9 1 9 1 8 2 4 6 3 7 5 3 7 6 1 9 5 4 8 2

9 7 8 5 1 6 4 2 3

5 4 2 7 8 3 9 1 6

5 1 6 4 2 3 9 7 8

bend in the path (the Japanese call this “miegakure”, or hide and reveal). This can be a key tool in getting people to take those first steps off the “main drag” and explore different sections of the garden (the not-so-new buzzword is “rooms”). Another trick along these lines is to expose a vista or other point of visual interest (hereafter referred to as POVI) that encourages them to journey out and take a look. Think about moving people through the garden and a logical sequence may provide a lot of great design ideas. Designing a functional garden Functionality often imposes certain restrictions on what we do in the design (driveways aren’t the prettiest feature of the landscape but they do make it easier to get the car in the garage). Drainage is a key feature often overlooked by the budding designer and it is a make or break point in many designs. Get it right and no one notices; get it wrong and plants languish and die in boggy beds, huge puddles kill lawn, and in the worst case scenario you awake to the slap and gurgle of water in the house. This is truly a thankless task, but one of the highest priorities in the whole process. Give it a lot of thought. There’s nothing sexy about changing the grade or building a retaining wall or raised bed, but it can make all the difference between success and failure for a garden. Screening undesirable views or weather (usually wind, but the right screen can help screen salty breezes, dust or other environmental factors) is a high priority in the design process; I usually do my first walk through with an eye strictly to finding the design problems before I even give a thought to final themes or aesthetics. I view children and pets as part of this process, as both

1. Atlantic Crossing 2. Mogwai 3. L’Oreal 4. Public water bus 5. A number on the back of each players shirt 6. Doormouse

While designing the landscape around your home can seem a daunting task to the uninitiated, it is simply a matter of taking things one step at a time, taking into account the various factors that can affect our landscape in the long term. We’ll review the roadmap from planning to planted… Usage The way we plan to use our garden should be the key factor in our design. Traffic How do vehicles and people move about the property? Do we need a place to get vehicles into the back garden? Recreation Are there children to take into account? Pets?

Screening Are there views we don’t want to see? Breezy conditions? Too much sun? Vistas Are there views from the house we want to accent or improve? Are there porches or patios outside we want to treat in the same fashion? Consider who will enjoy your garden The primary consideration in our gardens should be the people who use them. While certain theme gardens may ostensibly focus on other considerations (birds, butterflies, etc.), the people who are viewing the garden are the true focus. How we move people through the garden space is our primary consideration; the aesthetics of that function are overridden by the function (maybe you think a gravel driveway would look great, but if the gravel ends up getting shot through your plate glass window because it got kicked into the lawn and mowed, what price aesthetics?) Driveways and paths are only the first part of that equation; how the eye moves through the garden can influence how the body follows. Screening undesirable views is a good idea, but occasionally screening a nice garden area can be of even more value in encouraging viewers to see what lies just around that

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 barry sparkle presents

A Life According to: Barry Sparkle...

Wow ... what a response I have had since the launch of my new column, here in the Tenerife Weekly. I have been out and about around the island, loads of goss to share with you all, and over the coming weeks ... all will be revealed!! With the football season reaching an amazing finale to the season, we will soon be visited by many professional footballers on their end of season breaks, not to mention fit birds, wags n wannabes - to add a bit of glamour to the island. And no doubt I will be entertaining a few over the coming weeks too ... oops did I mention ... a Charlton player and ex Page 3 Model are here with me right now!! The Canaries, and especially Tenerife, have always been a popular destination for sportsmen and women in general, and what with the’ Euros 2012’ and the ‘London 2012 Olympics’ taking place this summer; is proving to be quite a ‘get fit n healthy’ agenda, which shows when passing me in the streets are bronzed gods n goddesses ‘not’ wanting some ridiculous drinks offer!! The summer is coming ... and what a great feeling it is!!! I thought, seeing as this is my first full edition of my new column, I would have to start with a big shout to all the P.R’s for the various businesses on the island. I hope you

all have a great summer; be professional and you will reap the rewards. One thing is for sure; when times are hard a good professional P.R/P.R team can make or break a business, and as annoying as P.R’s can be, I also know how helpful one can be to a lost, disorientated or inebriated holidaymaker, not to mention worker/ resident ! There has been a long debate over the years whether P.R’s are just a nuisance to the tourist holidaymaker , but it is my belief that they are an essential part of their holiday experience , not only ‘making their holiday’, an expression often used, but friendships , work opportunities and memories ... that can last a lifetime! So ... here’s my advice ... If you want to succeed as a Public Relations team member ... follow my seven step plan. Arrive to work ‘FRESH N FUNKY‘ !! - this means freshly showered, shaved, clean clothes, hair styled, and ... brushed teeth !!! Find out ‘WHATS NEWS’ today, tomorrow and the near future in your venue - the more info/knowledge of forthcoming events will help you succeed. Give yourself ‘A TARGET’ everyday - ‘AIM HIGH‘ and try to beat your record everyday!! Work as a ‘TEAM PLAYER’ - help each other, but ‘STAY FOCUSED ‘ and help ‘YOURSELF’ !! Be ‘HEALTHY’ and pace yourself, so you

don’t burnout!! Be polite, courteous, friendly and ‘PROFESSIONAL’ at all times, and most importantly.. Be ‘YOURSELF’!! I hope you all have a great summer, be safe and enjoy!! PS. I’m happy to help if you have any problems, or need advice ... a benefit of not being in my teens, twenties or, dare I even say, thirties now is being able to share experiences I have gained over the years of being in this profession, and I can assure

you I have partied harder and longer than most. My angel wings from 1999 alone can tell a story or two!! You can find me at Vivo Treasure Island in Las Américas, open from 9.30am till midnight. PPS. If you want tickets for the ‘DECADES’ forthcoming shows featuring ‘BITTER AND TWISTED’ and the ‘DECADES DANCERS’ pop in and see me. LET’S MAKE SUMMER 2012 ... PURE GOLD ... AND THE DECADE OF ALL DECADES!!!!

Show and get 10% discount at

Love, Barry Sparkle x

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 FOOD

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Welcome to Karoline’s Kitchen We are all on a money-saving scheme at the moment, due to the current financial climate. So, rather than reaching for the take away menu, why not think ahead? With a little bit of organisation you will be able to have the ingredients waiting in your fridge and in the same time that it would take you to pick up the phone and wait for a delivery you should be able to produce

Sesame Chicken

6 boneless skinless chicken breast halves 1/2 cup honey 1/2 cup soy sauce 1 cup water 2 tablespoons cornflour 1 teaspoon ground ginger 1 teaspoon chilli pepper flakes 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds Cut chicken breast into 1 inch strips or bite size pieces. Heat a large non-stick frying pan that has been sprayed with oil, over medium-high heat. Cook chicken for about 6 minutes or until no

Chinese Tea Leaf Eggs

8 eggs 1 tsp salt 3 cups of water 2 tbsp dark soy sauce 2 tbsp black tea leaves 2 star anise 1 cinnamon stick 1 tbsp orange zest In a large saucepan, combine eggs and 1 teaspoon salt. Cover with cold water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for about 20 minutes. Remove from heat, drain, and cool. When cool, tap eggs with the back of a spoon to crack shells but do not remove the shells.

a lovely dish for your family and save on those euros as well. I have given you a delicious Sesame Chicken, Stir Fry Beef and a funky egg design. Enjoy your homemade takeaway, and remember, with the basic dishes I have given you it’s easy to add chillies, garlic, and various Chinese spices; so get experimenting.

longer pink. Mix together honey, soy sauce, water, cornflour, ginger and red pepper flakes. Whisk until the cornflour has disappeared into the mixture. Pour sauce mixture into the frying pan with chicken. Cook until sauce thickens slightly. You can add more water if sauce is too thick. Sprinkle with sesame seeds. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until chicken starts to soak up the sauce. Serve with pak choi and boiled rice. Combine all the rest of the ingredients into a saucepan, and bring to the boil, then turn to a gently simmer for about 1 hour. Let the mixture cool and then steep the cracked eggs in the liquid for about 8 hours. Gently wash the excess liquid from the eggs by gently dipping into some water. Then carefully peel the shells off the eggs to reveal beautifully marbled eggs, great to impress at any Chinese dinner party.

Two old favorites with a drink to wash them down Courtesy of Casa Tres´922 71 66 27 - Send me your feedback to: food@tenerifeweekly.es

Combine ingredients without overbeating Toad in the hole Pre-heat oven to 180C. 12 chunky breakfast sausages,

pan-fried until golden brown 250grs self-raising flour 6 medium eggs 1/2 litre milk Salt and pepper Fresh chives 50ml cooking oil

Arriving on the Island 9 years ago do you think I could make a Yorkshire pudding? No way, the flour just would not work.... AHhhhhhhh ... So after a lot of trial and error I refined the mix and now enjoy having my Toad in the hole on weekends again. Crack eggs into a large bowl, add salt, pepper and chopped chives. Pass the flour through a fine sieve into the mix.

Place cooking oil in a roasting tray and heat until just smoking. Set aside one cup of batter mix. Pour rest of mix into tray, arrange

Have a great week cooking and if you have any recipes that you wish to share or any tips or family cheats then get in touch by email on; karoline@tenerifeweekly.es Until next time,

Karoline Shovlar

Stir Fry Beef

450g/1lb lean beef fillet, cut into thin slices 2 tsp light soy sauce 1 tsp rice wine or dry sherry 1 tsp cornflour 2 tbsp oil 225g/8oz onion, thickly sliced 3 tbsp water 2 tbsp oyster sauce (optional) Small handful fresh mint leaves Place the beef strips into a bowl and add the light soy sauce, rice wine and cornflour and mix well. Leave to marinate for 10-20 minutes. Heat a wok until very hot and then pour in the oil. Add the marinated beef and stir-fry for one minute, or until browned all over. Remove the beef with a slotted spoon and set aside.

Cauliflower cheese

I large head of cauliflower 300ml milk Small diced onion 25grs butter Nutmeg 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2 tbsp plain flour 150grs cheddar cheese 100grs fresh breadcrumbs Crust of bread Salt and pepper It’s so hard to get kids to enjoy Veg ... I hope this helps. Cut cauliflower into florets, Half cook in boiling salted water, adding crust

Add the onions to the wok and stirfry for 1-2 minutes, pour in the water and cook for a few minutes. Drain off the juices collected from the beef and add to the wok. Add the oyster sauce if using and stir for a minute then return the beef to the wok and add the mint leaves. Continue to stir-fry for one minute then remove from the heat. To bulk this dish out I love to add very thinly sliced batons of carrot, leek and peppers and add when the onions are added in the recipe. And to finish I would top the dish with a few cashew nuts, just to add an extra crunch. Depending on the amount of mouths you are feeding I would either do rice or noodles or a selection of both. My tip for cooking the correct amount of rice per person is as follows. Weigh 75gms of dry rice per person and rinse in a sieve under a cold tap. Place into a saucepan of boiling water and stir a few times, then cover with a lid. Follow the cooking times on the packet and try not to stir to often as that is what will break the rice up and turn it into mush.

of bread to water which will reduce some of the unpleasant smells of the cauliflower whilst cooking! Remove and cool in cold water. Mix the oil and flour and set aside. In a thick bottomed pan melt the butter, fry the finely diced onion without colour and add the nutmeg Add milk and bring to the boil, thickening with oil and flour. Season with salt and pepper. Grate your cheese. Line an oven proof dish with fresh breadcrumbs. Layer with cauliflower, then sauce. Finally top with grated cheese Cook in a pre-heated oven at 180C for 12 minutes.

French pineapple with Malibu cream

3 eggs 1/2 litre Double cream Vanilla essence French stick Butter Cinnamon Pineapple slices Malibu

sausages and cook until mixture rises and crisps. Serve with onions fried in butter, a sprig of fresh thyme.

A scrummy dessert made with left over baguette...... So simple you always have a dessert on hand. Mix eggs, a little cream and 3 drops of vanilla essence in a bowl Cut French stick into 2cm slices and

soak in the mixture Semi-whip the rest of the cream and add the Malibu In a flat frying pan or skillet cook the pineapple slices. Remove and keep warm In the same pan cook the French stick slices to soak up the pineapple juices Layer on a plate beginning with the French stick. Top with pineapple, Next Malibu cream (coconut yogurt will substitute) Then dust with cinnamon.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 TECHNOPHILE

Zuckerberg Loses $2bn As Apple Registers Iphone5.Com Facebook Share Prices Drop Domain Sparking New Rumours Mark Zuckerberg has experienced first-hand the trials and tribulations of the stock market as he watched nearly $2bn be wiped from his net worth. Facebook saw its share price plummet on Monday (21st) suggesting that Friday’s initial excitement has clearly worn off. The share price fell from $38 to just over $34, which may not sound like much, but was enough to cleave off $2bn from Mark Zuckerberg’s share. According to the Guardian, analysts have suggested this is actually quite normal, with most companies of that size levelling out at around $16-$24 a share. While this would still make Facebook worth anything up to $85bn it’s still a long way from the original estimation which put the company at $104bn. Facebook officially launched its longawaited IPO on Friday morning (18th) with

Max Payne 3 is finally here, bringing with it the usual third-person shooter mechanics along with familiar features like the multiplayer mode and bullettime. Max Payne 3 is the first game in the franchise to be developed solely by Rockstar Games, and boy does it show. What was once a series that embraced action movie clichés and gothic noir in equal measure has now become a shooter steeped in grit and bloody realism. Plot and Characters Reality is Rockstar’s calling card and amazingly, for a character steeped in action movie tropes, it sits well with Max Payne. Instead of romanticising Max’s traumatic past and ignoring his predilection for leaving piles of corpses in his wake, Rockstar has gone to some lengths to try and humanise him. So it is that Max starts his third adventure as a drug-addicted alcoholic who has been hired because he’s a walking slaughterhouse. Casting Max Payne in real-world terms is a pretty ballsy move on Rockstar’s part, but they’re helped immensely by the game’s switch in scenery. The plot kicks off with Max joining the security detail of a rich South American industrialist in São Paulo. In short order, he’s firing bullets in the general direction of heavily armed thugs who want to make off with both his employer and his employer’s trophy wife. It all seems pretty straightforward, but as the hits keep on coming, Max begins to suspect that the kidnappers may have been helped by someone in his employers’ camp. Gameplay Rockstars manage to tie all of the intrigue

shares in the company being sold for $38 each. The floatation has made Facebook founder and CEO an instant billionaire, with his 30 million shares up for grabs expected to bring in $1.1 billion. Facebook’s launch was by far the biggest IPO of any internet based company ever. Even the mighty Google only (yeah, we mean only in the relative sense) fetched in $1.67bn for the search giant. The involvement of heavy-hitting shareholders, who Zuckerberg and his army of twenty-something creatives now have to answer to, could change the face of the social network, as they seek a return on their investments. Adverts will definitely invade the mobile space, while there are fears that the personal data of the company’s 900 million active users will be further exploited through targeting campaigns.

Adding further fuel to the rampant Apple iPhone 5 rumour mill, new reports have suggested the Cupertino based company has officially registered the seemingly name confirming iPhone5.com domain.

The most concrete sign to date of the upcoming addition to the iPhone family of pocket blowers, reports of the Apple registered iPhone5.com domain has sparked further speculation around the imminent overhaul of the hugely successful iPhone 4S. Having been squatted on by a fan forum site, Apple has managed to wrest control of the coveted iPhone5.com domain following a lengthy legal dispute and having filed a case with the World Intellectual Property Organisation. Apple iPhone 5 Rumours Whilst Apple has remained traditionally cagey on the matter, a number of rumours

have claimed to out a number of specs and design features destined to land on the Samsung Galaxy S3 rivalling handset with the usual array of faster processor, improved camera and revised design in the mix. Said to be the last handset worked on by the late Apple co-founder and former CEO Steve Jobs, recent reports have suggested the iPhone 5 will sport an all new, metal backed design that will encompass a speedy quadcore processor and the as yet unconfirmed iOS 6 mobile operating system.

and double-dealing to level-design that has the player slinging lead in the most stylish way possible. Max Payne 3 may be grittier than its predecessors and its storyline may be more mature, but the series’ signature bullet-time mechanic remains present and correct. Players fill a bullet-time meter by shooting opponents and avoiding gunfire. When they click in the right stick, the action on screen slows to a crawl, sound effects become muffled and they’re given a small window of slowed-down time to pick out their targets carefully. Don’t get the impression, though, that

bullet-time makes Max Payne 3 a cakewalk. Even on Medium setting this is a game that’ll test shooter fans to their limits. Max is a frail character, and while players can top up his health with painkillers, a well-placed burst of gunfire from a couple of enemies is more than capable of taking him down. Not only that, but the game’s Last Man Standing (LSM) mechanic, which allows players to stylishly dispatch foes when they’re close to croaking, sometimes malfunctions, leaving Max twirling in a slow-motion arch and then collapsing on the floor. Max Payne 3, like its grizzled protagonist,

is also a more old-school package than most. That is to say, that it’s not a shooter built around a multiplayer with a campaign that’s a lightweight, throwaway affair. Multiplayer That having been said, the multiplayer doesn’t skimp an inch on what shooter fans expect from a triple A title in this genre. There’s a whole raft of maps, match types, customisation options, in-match challenges and unlockables to keep gamers glued to their consoles long into the night. It’s also a step away from your usual online fragfest. Just as it does in the single-player, Max Payne 3 offers bullet-time as a tactical mechanic in its online mode. Players are able to slow-down time on each other and draw a bead on foes, provided they have the requisite meter filled – after scoring headshots and kills. It’s a testament to the skill of Rockstar’s development team that they’re able to plug this cool feature into their multiplayer without making the whole affair feel clunky or forced. Verdict Given the fact that Max Payne was born into this world as a bundle of clichés tied to a mechanic that started to become dated the moment the first game was released, Max Payne 3 could have been a train wreck. Instead, it’s a sharp, gritty and stylish shooter that offers thrills and depth in equal measure. It’s the perfect blend of hard-boiled storytelling and cinematic action, and a testament that Rockstar is starting to show serious chops at developing Triple A gaming experiences beyond its usual sandbox offerings.

display and a pop-up flash, which was missing from its predecessor, the NEX-C3, plus the NEX-F3 comes rocking ISO skills up to 16,000 and Full HD video.

Google Chrome has eclipsed Internet Explorer to become the world’s mostused web browser, new statistics suggest. Stat Counter’s latest figures reveal that the new market leader surpassed its Microsoft rival in early May, after leaving Mozilla Firefox behind back in December 2011. The Google software edged out Internet Explorer by the narrowest of margins, claiming 32.5% of the global market to its rival’s 32.1%. Stat Counter’s on-going research suggests that Microsoft’s browser is in slow decline, while Chrome has been making gains for some time.

Max Payne 3 Review

Sony NEX-F3 Officially Revealed Google Chrome Eclipses Internet

The excellent NEX series has an impressive new member. The NEX-F3, of which we’ve heard (and seen) so much about recently got the nod from Sony for an official launch. The NEX-F3 is the new entry-level interchangeable lens cam from Sony and can be yours to own from £530 with a June release date. Inside there’s a 16.1MP APS CMOS sensor and a third gen Bionz imaging processor (seen in the Sony a77) and we reckon the new design makes the outside of this CSC pretty tempting too. Also on board is a 180 degree tiltable

Explorer As World’s Top Browser

Chrome’s enduring popularity in Asian territories helped secure its place as overall leader, despite lagging behind Internet Explorer in both the UK and the US. Microsoft released Internet Explorer 9 back in March 2011, and has supported the programme with an extensive marketing campaign. A preview build of its successor was rolled out in February this year. The Windows platform holder is under scrutiny from the European Commission following complaints that its upcoming Windows 8 RT operating system is biased towards third-party web browsers.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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CLASSIFIED Established Marketing Company in Torviscas Alto is looking for Romanian, Slovakian, Czech, Polish and Bulgarian staff with some spoken English to work in marketing office. Must be self-motivated and work as a team Some computer knowledge an advantage. Basic wage and excellent commission Tel Sue on: 922 713 070 or 686 154 066 Or email your C.V. to: suecampbell@regencyresorts.com

• Accommodation

• Services

Regency Resorts is one of Europe’s largest and most successful companies. They are looking for experienced Sales executives for their clients. You must speak English and have a positive attitude and be willing to work hard. Top commissions, high spiffs and quick payouts.

Send your CV to admin@regencyresorts.com or fax it to 922 712162 PR Required

• For Rent

Apartment to rent in Callao Salvaje for long let, 90m2, 2 bed, 2 bath, 40m2 terrace, quiet area

550€ all inc.+ 1 month deposit 619 634 340

• Delivery Services

• Building Services

English painter and decorator

For dinner show in Las Américas. Must have an outgoing personality, smart in appearance and fluent in English. Basic pay, bonuses and contract.

Call 603 391 256

City and Guilds qualified.

Also general maintenance and any manual labour undertaken. All work guaranteed. No job too small. Call Brad on

602 007 464

for a no obligation quotation. • Situations Vacant

Are you dynamic, Enthusiastic, Vibrant and work well as part of a team? If so, TenerifeExperiences.com want you! We are looking for self-motivated British, German & Scandinavian telemarketers to join our established team. Contact us on 0034 922 717 739 or email bookings@tenerifeexperiences.com

Job offers are available for honest and intelligent workers in Tenerife. Please make all response to

christo77073@yahoo.com to get a job position close to your home.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

• Car Rentals

Cars to rent Long and short term From 270€ per month Including insurance

Phone Mags: 600 88 27 22 Email: magsbehan@gmail.com • Air Con

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Mobility Heavy Duty 4 Wheeled Walker with Seat and brakes superb mobility walker that is ideal for trips around town or to use when going to the shops. 90 euros Shoprider Wispa Mobility Scooter: electric mini scooter. EXCELLENT MANOEUVRABILITY from articulating double front wheels. Complete with Charger and shopping basket. 295 euros DVD rack art deco style steel holds about 60 DVD/CDs in the shape of a musical note. 25 euros Play Station One with controller and memory card with 6 games excellent condition. 25 euros Phone 922742257 or 661084981 Callao Salvaje Set of four bowls, Taylor international No 1, €50 Teka cooking hob 2 gas and 2 electric rings €45. Wind surf board Starlight F2 no sail, €65 Wave Minstral 265 wind surf board no sail,€65 Television wall/ceiling heavy duty frame for 33 inch TV, new, ideal for bar €20 Corner unit dark wood, cupboard and shelves, 1.8 mt high €65 Sideboard/dressing table, (two end cupboards and top over them) pine finish 2.1 mt €60 Silencio. Tel 629570945 Lladro and Nao figurines from 30 euros, over 30 to choose, all boxed 676051341 Portable air con unit. Perfect condition, free standing. Los Cristianos 632518114 White Patio folding drinks trolley. 50 euros 2 seater leather settee in beige. 65 euros Beige Leather electric massage chair. 65 euros Bistro table tubular steel with glass top and 3 chairs. 50 euros Phone 922742257 or 661084981 Callao Salvaje

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Memphis Golf Bag and Stand - Very Good Condition only €40.00 18 Hole Round of Golf at the Buenavista Golf Course €25.00 Tel: 687 877 367

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FOR SALE Call 634015852 (Niki) OR 618941183 ( Val) Samsung 42” Flat Screen (available approx. 15th June) 300€ Sharp Video Recorder 20€ Panasonic TV 29” 50€ Sky Reciever Box & LMB 35€ Acer 17” Flat Screen PC Monitor 50€ Coberó tall Fridge Freezer 50€ Zanussi Table Top Freezer 35€ 3 Litre Stainless Steel Digital Fryer 30€ Sandwich Toaster 8€ Sandwich Toaster (Fagor) 8€ Slow Cooker (Cordon Bleu) 8€ Wok with lid 5€ Coffee Maker ( Morphy Richards) 15€ 9 x Large Dinner Plates White 10€ for all 8 x Decorative rose cocktail dishes pale pink 15€ for all Microwave/Convection Oven/Grill (Blue Sky) 25€ Patio Table & 4 reclining chairs inc cushions 75€ Ufesa Stand Up Fan 5€ Heater 5€ Ikea Stand Up Lamp 10€ Funai DVD/Video Recorder/ player 25€ Phillips Hand Blender 8€ Ikea rose thick pile rug (5´3” x 7´7”) 40€ Ikea dark blue & purple thick pile rug (4´4” x 6´5”)) 40€ 3 draw chest of drawers (40” x 30” x 17.5”) 20€ Nest of 3 side tables (dark wood) 10€ 6 drawer chest of drawers (75cm x 37cm x 105 cm) light wood 25€ Severin Footspa 10€ Chico Car Seat suitable up to 4 years 15€ Electric Bike for child up to 4 years (Abigo) 15€ Chico Travel Cot 30€ Ikea Black Coffee Table (90cm x 55cm x 45cm) 15€ Barrel Coffee Table (46 cm x 60cm diameter) 15€ DVD burners (x3) in tower 30€ CD burners (x3) in tower 25€ 3 x Ikea ´under bed´ plastic storage containers 15€ Plastic storage drawers 10€ Film Projector 1950´s (prinz magnon super IQ, standard & super 8 cine films) 40€ Slide Projector (rank aldis TK300, 35mm) 30€ 2 x Badminton Racquets 10€ each Squash Racquets 10€ Assorted Toys ( ages 1 to 10 years) Various prices Assorted Books Various Authors 50cents each

Items Wanted Sky Digibox wanted. Must be in good working order and reasonable price. Tel: 922 753 250

Place you FREE ADVERT by email to classified@tenerifeweekly.es by phone 922 790 388

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012

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MOTORING

Kia Rio

The long-awaited competitive supermini from Kia does not disappoint. It has good all-round abilities to please many and offend no-one, with keen pricing, classy design and a world-class eco version all adding to the plus points. We like - Mature looks, quality feel, big-car drive, roomy and modern cabin, excellent value. We don’t like - Not as exciting or as fun as a Fiesta, lack of low-down pull from 1.4 petrol engine (that becomes whiney when revved.) Kia has been enjoying record sales gains in recent years despite not being strongly represented in the UK’s most important new car sector. The all new Rio finally rectifies it: at last, Kia has a competitive supermini to sell. The old Rio was an enigma. Launched in 2005, sales lagged for several years, until scrappage gave it a lift. Since then, it has sold around 6,500 cars a year. However, while an improvement, this is still a long way off Ford’s 100,000 annual Fiesta sales. The new Kia Rio will grow this significantly. When the three-door Rio arrived in January, Kia says sales would grow to 12,000 a year - and insiders admit even this estimate is conservative. No two ways about it, the new Rio is the most important new Kia to be launched in years. It is a far better looking car than its predecessor. The latest Kia to benefit from star designer Peter Schreyer’s hand, it is more conservative than models such as the Sportage, but still appealing. The sculpted front end has character and the chunky, chopped-off tail is neat. Kia says the interior is much bigger too, with legroom, headroom and elbowroom all better than before. It hasn’t grown much outside (4,045mm makes it 55mm longer, and it is wider yet lower too): it’s simply

better designed. New engines include a 1.1-litre diesel that, at 88.3mpg and 85g/km CO2, is the world’s greenest non-electric car on sale. However, the key seller will be the 1.4-litre petrol tested here, particularly in mid-line ‘2’ trim. Kia also offers Rio ‘1’, ‘1 Air’ and ‘3, with prices for the five-door range currently starting at £10,595. Performance With 107hp, the twin-cam 1.4-litre engine is powerful for the class: thanks to continuously variable valve timing, it has 11hp more than a Fiesta 1.4, for example. It has to be revved to give its best though, and can feel flat at low revs. Peak pulling power of 101lb.ft is weaker, for instance, and doesn’t come in until 4,200rpm. The starter motor sounds weedy and the engine itself is whiney, but it is smooth and discreet enough unless revved: over 3,500rpm, it becomes more intrusive. Revving it necessary though, due to the lack of low-rev response. The engine only really gets into its stride around 3,000rpm and can be left floundering in town if you don’t change down a gear often enough. Impressively, Kia fits a standard six-speed gearbox that helps here (an automatic is available too), and which also cuts noise at higher speed. Only above 85mph does the 1.4 Rio sound busy, which is a good result for a small car. Six speeds also reduces revs at speed to help economy. The gearshift itself is light but a little long in throw, and the lever is also a bit too far back (as is the handbrake). The clutch is light, easing city driving, even if the accelerator pedal is a bit sharp when first pressed. There is an eco-minded gearshift light, but it’s best ignored, as it seems to think the engine has more pulling power than it actually does. Ride and handling The new Kia Rio immediately seems good,

with a grown-up, larger-car feel than many models in this sector. It has absorbent suspension and seems as if it has extra wheel travel to help tackle rough roads with prowess, rather than a sharp crash. The ride is both controlled and comfortable. It is not that sporty though, despite reasonably direct steering. Feedback through the three-spoke wheel is distant and the feeling is of the sticky, artificial sort common to many modern fuelsaving electric power steering setups. It is, however, both light in town yet stable and confident at speed. The chassis is safe and secure but cannot match the delights of a Ford Fiesta on twisting roads. Body roll is fairly well controlled and the Kia does turn in pretty accurately, but the engagement and entertainment of Ford’s benchmark won’t be found here. It’s not that sort of car: maturity takes precedence. As such, the Kia Rio has fine manners and stability at motorway speeds, again feeling like a larger car. It is better than you would expect on a run, with long distances further aided by ample, supportive seats and a good driving position.

100mm increase in width. It is well shaped but there is a fairly high sill to lift things over, and a Ford Fiesta offers marginally more space overall with 295 litres of capacity. Split rear seatbacks (standard on all) fold to give 923 litres. Standard equipment gives it a class advantage. All cars have daytime running lights, electric windows, trip computer and USB connectivity; ‘2’ trim adds 16-inch alloys, air con, electric folding door mirrors and chrome radiator grille. ‘3’ is so lavish, it even has climate control, privacy glass, rainsensing wipers and Audi-style LED front running lights. Economy and safety The Kia Rio economy superstars are the diesel models, particularly the new 1.1-litre three-cylinder diesel. 75% of sales will be petrol-powered though, with the 51.4mpg 1.4-litre expected to outsell the 56.5mpg 1.25-litre. Both petrols boast CO2 figures of less than 130g/km. The 1.4 CRDi Ecodynamics and the 1.1 diesel EcoDynamics also feature engine stop-start. Kia will naturally be hoping for a 5-star Euro NCAP score. As such, the Rio has standard front, side and curtain airbags on

Interior As with the exterior, Kia has given the new Rio a grown up design inside, with modern black colour schemes picked out with silver highlights. The clear dash is very Germanic in appearance; in contrast to some rivals’ more colour-packed designs. It is also made from high quality plastics and has a wellengineered feel. The Kia capitalises on its subtle extra dimensions over rivals (it’s 95mm longer than a Fiesta, for example). The wheelbase is 70mm longer than before which provides much more interior space, with the rear offering both plentiful legroom and a very comfortable seat. It’s almost as good as cars from the class above. A 288-litre boot is 7% bigger than before, and practicality is improved by a significant

all models, along with ESC stability control. There is a standard emergency stop signal too: the high-level brake light vividly flashes three times when it detects sharp braking.

Verdict The new Kia Rio is now fully competitive with the supermini class leaders across the board, while carrying the added advantage of better-value pricing AND Kia’s 7-year warranty. The remarkable 88.3mpg diesel also wins world-class eco status too. With a grown up feel, mature road manners, fresh new styling and a very impressive interior, it is a satisfying ownership proposition with a broad range of talents and abilities. Suddenly, choosing between a Fiesta, Fabia, Corsa or Clio has become that bit harder.

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 diy

Excellent & Easy Garden Storage Bench – Part 3 Welcome to part three of our easy guide to building a useful garden bench. Step 10: Put together the seat back: Attach the hinge board Take the 20-cm-wide board and lay it on top of the inner supports on your frame. It should not extend farther than the front-facing edge of the back legs. Screw it into the supports. This is the piece your seat lid attaches to, with hinges.

Step 12: Put together the seat back: Screw the back shelf on Sit the bench back upright, admire your handiwork for a second, and then set the 14-cm-wide shelf board across the top of the back legs. Screw it in.

Step 13: Put together the seat lid: Attach the first seat board to the cleats

Step 11: Put together the seat back: Screw the seat back slats in.

where to put your screw marks. Estimate the centre of the cleat and make a line up the board for each cleat. Now you can use your screw template to mark where the screw should sit. Drill and screw in one screw for each cleat on this first board. Now the hard part is over. Step 14: Put together the seat lid: Attach the other two seat boards to the cleats Now it’s the easy part. Take the 17-cm wide board and line it up under the board you just attached.

Attach the first seat board to the cleats. This part is a bit tricky. Too hard for a little kid to tackle, but still easier than an Ikea shelf.

Now I’m going to ask you to measure again. Lay the bench down with the back of the bench on the floor. Take the 17-cm wide slat and lay it across the top edge of the back. If you were to screw the slat in flush with the top, your back shelf would be a little bit off kilter. To avoid that, lay a ruler or a piece of scrap wood along the top edge of the leg to push the 17cm slat down just a touch. Draw a line on the front-facing edge of the back leg along the bottom of the slat. Do this on both sides. Now, from that line, measure two centimetres and draw a parallel line. That will be the line you will use to place the 10-cm slat. The screw template doesn’t work for these because the back legs are narrower. Just estimate the centre of the back leg edge and draw a ruler line over that on the seat back slats. Measure 4.5 cm from the top and bottom on the 17-cm-wide slat and 3 cm from the top and bottom for the 10cm slat. Screw the seat back slats in. There should be a 1.8-cm overlap on each side. This is normal.

Extend the line parallel to the centre of each cleat which you used for screw placement. Use your template to mark where you will put the screws. Use the 14-cm hole. Drill your holes and then screw the second board to the cleats.

Take one of the 14-cm wide seat boards and lay it on a flat surface. Measure and draw a line parallel to the edge 5 centimetres from the edge. This is your guide for where the cleats are going to start.

Take your cleats and lay them on a flat surface, their top edges all lined up. I used the table edge to line them up. Lay your board on top of the cleats. The line you drew will line up with the top edges of the cleats. Be patient. This is a little bit tricky. Take a ruler and draw a line on the board to use as a guide for

Repeat for the last board. Lay the seat on the frame and be proud of yourself for a minute. This is a good time for a beer.

Join us next week for part 4 of our project.

Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 sport

Zazo Uses His Head To Pinch An Away Draw For CD Tenerife

A late flash of brilliance from Álvaro Zazo saved CD Tenerife’s blushes and gave them a great chance to progress to the second round of the promotion play offs after a poor 1-1 draw at Badalona last Sunday. Goalkeeper, Sergio Aragoneses, came to the rescue many times as the team from just outside Barcelona threatened to swamp a weak Tenerife with no cohesion in defence and a blunt attack. Badalona flew out of the traps, Victor tested Sergio with an early curling free kick, the home forwards switched the play from flank to flank and Tenerife full backs Llorente and Cristobal encouraged them with slow reactions and poor positioning. Aridane spurned a Tenerife chance created by Kike Lopez; ballooning his shot over the bar. As Llorente and Cristobal floundered, Sergio made a good block from Garcia and, at the other end, Aridane missed again and Zazo blasted a long range strike high. Leading scorer Perona had been playing too deep, but just before the break he pushed up, shot wide, and deftly headed the ball to Kike; who did the same. Play had barely resumed when Goiko plundered a goal after the defence and even Sergio failed to clear the ball. Suddenly it was all about survival: Serramita’s shot just cleared the bar after his team mate had clipped it, and Victor wasted another home chance. Sergio saved a free kick with his feet and even turned defender to twice rush out and clear danger. With just a minute left on the clock a Cristobal cross was dipping towards the ground in front of the Badalona goal

Only 2 catch up games played, both in 1st Division of “The Wild Bull Coast FM Darts league”. With Los Halcones tasting victory and Meigas & Target B sharing the spoils making the top spot in league one set up for an interesting second half of the season. Mike Meigas said: “both teams looked like they were suffering serious hangovers after the champions league final the night before, well at least Mike and Dale were. With Mitch, Tom and Ian all unavailable, Target B took full advantage of their weakened opponents, “never wanting to cancel a game” attitude, and came away with a deserved draw. The game itself would have looked much better placed in the lower regions of the 2nd division”. Chris Murphy Target B said: “4-4 Draw with Meigas! Fantastic afternoon had by all. Everyone

1st Division

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and Zazo launched himself at the ball for a full length header that powered into the net. As the large contingent of Tenerife fans celebrated, Zazo charged for another go, but was clattered by Múñoz. He left via a red card and Zazo was carried off injured, but will return. It was a let off for Tenerife; they can’t rely on the same good fortune at home on Sunday, kick off 5.30 pm. CD Marino from Playa de Las Américas did even better, with a 2-1 win at Fuenlabrada in Madrid at the Fernando Torres Stadium (his home town.) There’s no long drawn out process in the Tercera Division, Marino can clinch promotion on Sunday, kick off noon, to move up into Segunda B – the current home of CD Tenerife.

- Colin Kirby

Coast FM

behaved. Game on!” Captains’ meeting at Cosy Corner had a good attendance; with Sonic adding plenty to the debate and Raf even taking a conference call from one of our shy quieter captains; a very proactive night!! Captains please ensure your attendance at all future meetings to be included in the vote. It’s time for the much anticipated 1st Open Doubles Competition of the season at Club Nauta. We are expecting lots of players this Sunday 27th May in Camping Nauta, especially with the LIVE “Coast FM Road show” Broadcasting from 4PM. Pairings can be made with all first division players for one trophy and all Second Division players for another trophy. Non-league players are welcome to join us playing automatically in the 1st division competition and paying 5 Euros

Apolo 2 - 6 Los Halcones • Meigas 4 – 4 Target B

GB Duo Book Final Spots

Olympic finalists James Goddard and Robbie Renwick both reached the finals of their respective events at the European Championships in Debrecen. Goddard was fifth fastest in the 200 metres individual medley, in which he is Commonwealth champion, in two minutes 0.66 seconds. The Stockport ITC swimmer has declared his intention to compete only in the medley rather than double up with the 200m backstroke at the Olympics this summer. There he is set to face

Beijing silver medallist Laszlo Cseh, who headed the field into Wednesday’s final, 1.64secs ahead of secondfastest qualifier Simon Sjoedin. Renwick reached the final of the 200m freestyle in sixth in 1:48.89 with world record holder Paul Biedermann looking to complete a double following Monday’s victory over 400m, in which the Briton just missed out on a medal, finishing fourth. Individual medley specialist Sophie Allen was 21st in the 100m breaststroke in 1:10.56. World championship silver medallist Fabio Scozzoli then

entrance fee. ALL MUST BE REGISTERED BY 3.45 PM LATEST. We have generously been donated a number of prizes to be won throughout the day: Restaurante EL ANCLA in Callao Salvaje is sponsoring a voucher of 20 Euros. The voucher can be redeemed in restaurante EL ANCLA at any time. BUZZIN BAR, Chris & Lynette, in Callao Salvaje is sponsoring a voucher of 20 Euros. The voucher can be redeemed in BUZZIN BAR at any time. PADDY MC GINTYS, Irish bar in Callao Salvaje is sponsoring a “Paddy’s Breakfast + drink” for 2. The voucher can be redeemed from Monday till Sunday between 10AM and 1.30PM in PADDY MC GINTYS. Restaurante LA ROMÁNTICA in Callao Salvaje is sponsoring a dinner for 2 + bottle of wine to consume in LA ROMÁNTIA. The voucher can be redeemed in restaurante LA ROMÁNTICA at any time. Bar BEESNEES in Callao Salvaje is sponsoring a voucher of 20 Euros. The voucher can be

claimed the 100 metres breaststroke title before paying tribute to the late Alexander Dale Oen. The Italian, second over both 50m and 100m in Shanghai in 2011, touched in 1:00.55, a victory he dedicated to the Norwegian who beat him to the 100m world crown last summer, and who died in Arizona last month of a suspected cardiac arrest. In quotes reported on Swimnews.com the Italian said: “I held on for gold to be able to dedicate it to Alex, who was always there to celebrate my successes with me.”

redeemed in bar BEESNEES at any time except on Sunday afternoon when there is a darts match. Bar TARGET in Los Cristianos is sponsoring a voucher of 20 Euros. The voucher can be redeemed in bar TARGET at any time except on Sunday afternoon when there is a darts match. Looking forward to another great Sunday afternoon turnout as we party with Coast FM, bringing what could be a first ever Live Darts on Live Radio in Tenerife! We are now half way season. The season has run very smoothly, all the teams seem to enjoy themselves. Most certainly because of the results we hear every Monday at 9am, 1pm and 5pm on COAST FM and the nice article TENERIFE WEEKLY is publishing for us every Friday where the teams are also involved in by telling us their comments of the match, sending us their pictures, … which we are using for the article in Tenerife Weekly. I would like to thank all the players for their participation so far in the league, but also many thanks to COAST FM and TENERIFE WEEKLY!

2nd Division

Rank

Team

Played

Points

Rank

Meigas

Target A

Our Place B

Cosy Wanderers

Our Place A

Rood

Target B

Los Halcones

Chipeque

Apolo

Belgian Beer Bar

Team

Played

Points

Chipeque Nomads

La Central

Beesnees

El Candel de Abuela

Legends

Happy Gavines

Malabar

Beesnees´Hunnies

Cosy Cabrons

Nifty Nauta

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Tenerife Weekly - 25th May - 31st May 2012 SPORT

The Sports Scene With Peter Quilty

Hi everyone. That’s the end of the domestic season and didn’t it go out with a bang! They called it D Day and it was; D Day for Blackpool, Spurs and Bayern Munich, and Didier Drogba in more ways than one. Firstly, although I would have loved to see Blackpool back in the premiership, you can’t take it away from Big Sam and his Hammers. He actually managed my team, Notts County, way back in 1997/8 and got us promotion too, but not into the Premiership (HaHa) And even if some think Allardyce’s team are the equivalent of a backstreet bruiser, nobody can argue that he has not made good on his promise to win promotion. The Hammers are back into the top flight with a 2-1 win over Blackpool in the play-off final at Wembley. The Hammers missed out on automatic promotion by two points while Allardyce was criticised over the playing style. But it’s the winning that counts; ask any Chelsea Fan!! Taking about Chelsea’s fantastic win, I did manage to watch the whole game at home through the internet. Must admit though, not the best way to watch such a fabulous game. As Chelsea walked out into the Allianz Arena a giant red mosaic was revealed at one end that covered the entire expanse of the massed ranks of Bayern Munich’s support. The message, with a Champions League trophy as its centerpiece read: “Unser Stadt. Unser Stadion. Unser Pokal.” Our City. Our Stadium. Our Cup. Hours later, at a cost of around one billion pounds, Munich was Chelsea and owner Roman Abramovich’s city. The Allianz Arena was their stadium and - most significantly of all - the Champions League was their cup at long last. And for the thousands of Chelsea fans who lived the dream and saw redemption for the misery of Moscow and defeat by Manchester United on penalties in 2008, who despaired of winning the trophy that seemed out of reach of even Abramovich’s chequebook, there were emotions and memories money simply cannot buy.

Abramovich’s accountants will tell you the cost of this victory. When Didier Drogba, inevitably, calmly rolled the winning spot-kick past Bayern keeper Manuel Neuer to confirm a 4-3 win on penalties, the years of frustration gushed out of Chelsea’s players, staff and supporters in torrents. Drogba swirled his shirt around his head in triumph after racing the length of the field, Fernando Torres and David Luiz rode the crossbar with all the joy of Grand National winners and Abramovich himself even clapped and took part in a selfconscious singalong that almost qualified as an emotional outpouring from this most secretive, yet ruthlessly interventionist, oligarch. If that penalty was Drogba’s final touch for Chelsea, if the late header in normal time that equalised Thomas Mueller’s strike for Bayern was his final goal, then it will be the most decisive and most celebrated sign-off in Stamford Bridge history and which we now know that is was. On an atmospheric night in a wonderful stadium, nicknamed “The Inflatable Boat” because of its futuristic design, Chelsea occasionally threatened to go under but eventually arrived safely at Abramovich’s chosen destination. And those who have been in pretty much from the start all made defining contributions to the greatest night Chelsea have ever had. The club that is incorrectly mocked for not having history (remember they won a European trophy before even Liverpool when they beat Real Madrid to claim the Cup Winners’ Cup in 1971) had written a thrilling new chapter in their story. Drogba, the leader and talisman, wrote his name in folklore with his deeds. Goalkeeper Petr Cech has suffered all the highs and

lows of Chelsea’s Champions League quest and in Munich he was immense, saving Arjen Robben’s penalty at the start of extra time and from Ivica Olic in the shoot-out. And for Frank Lampard, the exemplary professional who has epitomised all that is good about a team that can struggle to win friends, this was the ultimate night. Mature, composed and an inspirational captain in John Terry’s absence, Lampard overcame the threat of Bayern’s own midfield master Bastian Schweinsteiger. Lampard has experienced the trials of traumas of European combat with Chelsea and has been a shining symbol of their success, so it was little surprise that his first reaction in the moment of victory was to race towards those jubilant masses to share the moment with them. Chelsea were in the departure lounge after losing 3-1 away to Napoli in the last 16, but the sacking of manager Andre Villas-Boas and the appointment of Di Matteo was the catalyst for a truly remarkable chain of events that also brought the FA Cup. They not only overturned that disadvantage against Napoli, they disposed of Benfica in the last eight, beat favourites Barcelona over two legs in the semi-final despite spending much of it without the ball, then prevailed in a final played in Bayern’s own backyard. The defensive discipline, organisation and sheer nerve that saw them through in the Nou Camp was the template here. In David Luiz and Gary Cahill, back from injury, they had heroes. In the magnificent Ashley Cole they had a world-class player once again showing how he rises to the biggest occasion. The fact that Chelsea finally won the Champions League when the odds were stacked so high against them appeared to make it even sweeter. And there was the added twist of the knife; that victory meant London rivals Tottenham now have to drop down into the Europa League and are denied the riches the Champions League affords. It was a night made special by Chelsea winning in such reduced circumstances, against obstacles placed in their way by suspensions and the psychological barrier of playing on their opponents’ home ground. It was a triumph of unbreakable spirit, and yes some good fortune, as Chelsea at last got their hands on the piece of silverware

that at times seemed destined to elude both them, and their owner’s vast wealth, forever. As Chelsea’s players started to savour their achievement ahead of a triumphant return to London on Sunday and fans celebrated way into the early hours, Munich was their city and the Champions League was their cup. The agony was over. Congratulations. Now, as you know, I am not a big Rugby Fan but after watching the latter stages of

a very exciting and battling Heineken Cup final between Leinster and Ulster things could change; as I witnessed Leinster’s win. So are Leinster now the greatest Heineken Cup team of all time? It may have been a hot topic among the blue hordes trooping deliriously out of Twickenham, after seeing their heroes win an unprecedented third European title in four years. But it wasn’t a question occupying the minds of the players who had just delivered a record-breaking margin of victory in the final of rugby’s most passionately charged club competition. No doubt when they reflect on their season’s work a week on Monday, and start to contemplate what next year might hold, they might be persuaded to indulge in a little fantasy. Again Congratulations Finally, as I covered the Test Match over the weekend on the radio, giving out the score as it progressed, it was a relief to see England win it. England will be pleased because it means they overcame that awful nightmare of Abu Dhabi over the winter. They got bogged down against Pakistan then and were bowled out for 72 chasing just 145 to win, but at Lord’s they played positively and didn’t get themselves stuck. Ian Bell and Alastair Cook batted very nicely together and it was a good finish to the game for England. What was good about the game was that England were challenged. They will be glad they were challenged but they’ll also look back at why they were challenged. Both teams can take credit. It’s quite good that England have been put under pressure here. West Indies need a bit of back-up with the bat; they need someone to give Chanderpaul some support. I expect both sides to improve and we look forward to Nottingham. When Trott and Pietersen were out it was looking pretty dangerous for England. There was every chance West Indies might win. If they’d got one more wicket, I would say it was a workmanlike win for England. But it’s always nice to win when you’re pushed a bit, so that’s a nice start to the summer and with the Euros only a couple of weeks away - bring it on! See you next time and, just before I go, many thanks to our Editor for a fantastic night at Vivo Decades: brilliant food and superbly funny show. Treat yourselves to a great night out.

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