Tenerife Weekly Issue 109 by Tenerife Weekly

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Editor Marc Craig editor@tenerife-weekly.com Production Colm McCarroll design@tenerife-weekly.com

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John Sharples Steve Andrews Diane McGlone English Time

The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Owner. Disclaimer

CONTRIBUTORS Sir Old Golfer Barry Pugh Marc Craig Paul Ling Colin Kirby

The opinion of the owner or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors.

Janet Anscombe Red Queen Musings lagomera1.blogspot Adeje Blog

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PUB QUIZ (Page 34)

1. Cassanova (Giovanni Jacopo) 2. Alpha, Beta, Gamma 3. A sleuth 4. Lord Baden-Powell 5. Alan Bond 6. The Marquess of Queensbury 7. Paris - it is the only national capital. 8. Oestrogen or Progesterone 9. 40 weeks 10. Osiris 11. “Thou shalt not kill”

SUDOKU Easy (Page 16)

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SALES

Issue 109

Miller Rental S.L C.I.F: B 38709366 Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make.

SUDOKU Challenging (Page 16)

Owner & Publisher - Christopher Miller

1. Sharks 2. Shoes 3. Coats 4. Metals 5. Filters 6. They Have Bulbs 7. They Have Rings 8. Books 9. Doctors 10. Crackers 11. Trees 12. They Have Frames 13. Tables 14. Buds 15. Happen Every 4 Years

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD (Page 8)

COMMONYMS (Page 38)

QUICK CROSSWORD (Page 56)

Solutions to this week’s puzzles

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Editorial

Well, that’s Christmas over with and it’s almost the end of yet another year, seriously, where has 2013 gone? This year I took part in the Vivo Decades Christmas show, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and there’s never a dull moment in the changing rooms, what a laugh! So now we have New Year’s Eve to look forward to next week, it’s one of the big nights of the year that I actually enjoy working on, it’s always

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014 a great atmosphere, everyone is simply there to have the best night possible, and, being the one holding the microphone, I get to be the one who sees in the New Year with everybody in the room! Anyway, it’s a good job I like working it as, of course, I will be at Vivo welcoming 2014 in style, hope to see you there! This special New Year edition, takes a look back at the year behind us on the centre pages, there’s also a recap on the biggest stories in the world of sport. It’s not all about looking back though, in my entertainment col-

umn, I tell you all about the biggest movies that I’m all excited about, plus a few I’m not! All our regular contributors are here of course, and in all the Christmas excitement last week, I forgot to introduce our new gossip columnist, the one and only Mr. Barry Sparkle! Well, all that’s left to say is I hope you have a fantastic New Year, wherever you go, and if you haven’t made up your mind up, come and see me! All the best for 2014 x

Marc Craig

SANTA CRUZ HOSTS THE FIFTH SATURDAY ‘TELETHON SOLIDARIO’

“The Ride of the Ambassador of the Three Wise Men” kicked off last Saturday’s ‘V Telethon Solidario’ for ‘Look TV’, held in the Lake of Plaza de España from 12.00 to 00.00.

Over 10,000 people gathered at the site and more than 5,000 roamed

Young Grievances

This was a hand written, hand delivered letter from two very disgruntled (and young at the tender age of 11 years old) who are having issues with their mobile network server. Believing that everyone regardless of age deserves their say, I’ve printed it for them, Marc (Editor). To The Editor, Lots of people are having a lot of problems with Lebara mobile at the moment. They have made it more money

the streets of Santa Cruz in the six parades that were held throughout the day. In addition to the colorful streets, the nerve centre of the event in Lake Plaza de España had musical performances, a Kings Park with playground, and a tapestry designed for the occasion. The organization confirmed that more than one hundred

for one megabyte, they have been taking a lot of money off a lot of people. They have also started to not let you renew your bundle early, plus they charge you treble the money to use internet if your bundle is finished in the first week. I know this all because me and my family live here and when we first came here it was very cheap and we all have seen a big difference now. Normally I would recommend Orange because I think they are a lot better. Michael Ryan and Lisa Kelly Yours, sincerely, Carole, Las Galletas.

companies, groups, associations and institutions help to provide the food and toys. Incredibly 400 tons of food and more than 30,000 toys will be distributed respectively to 60,000 hungry and 20,000 children at risk of exclusion, now have a toy this Christmas. The food will be distributed between the two NGO partners: Spanish Red Cross and the Food Bank, in addition to the direct involvement of the Fecam (Federation of Municipalities Canaria). Besides the six parades taking place during the 12 hours, the ‘V Telethon Solidarity’ featured performances by 18 local and national artists on a stage containing 100,000 and 30,000 watts of light

and sound, plus four big screens. The logistics of the event exceeded that of previous editions with 80 trucks, two refrigerated containers, 800 taxis available to transport food and toys to the lake, more than 600 authorized collection points across the island and six centers collection enabled by municipalities: Los Realejos, Icod, La Laguna, La Victoria, Granadilla and Arona. The organization has detailed in a statement that thousands of citizens and more than 100 local businesses contributed to this charity event, about 50,000 people came to the capital, where the deployment of 600 volunteers and 500 safety personnel, worked flawlessly.

Christmas Greeting from the Mayor of Adeje, José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga

deje today is a cultural melting pot, a meeting place for people from all over the world, a place where people from diverse backgrounds have chosen to live together in peace and harmony. Together we have developed a tolerant society with respect for each other, but above all one which promotes consensus and solidarity. Here in Adeje, as we look to 2014, we are working together to create a 21st century coexistence reflecting today’s multicultural, global society, a society that is part of the global village, a modern society linked by social networks.

So to all those in Adeje, including those who have come to live here from elsewhere, I extend an invitation to participate in celebrating Christmas here in Adeje, a place where everyone is welcome, a meeting place open to the whole world, where different religious beliefs and customs live side by side for the benefit of all. I hope that the different celebrations we will experience during this Christmas season will be precious moments where we can share our cultures, understand each other a little bit better and help each other a little bit more. With that in mind I send heartfelt cordial Christmas greetings to everyone, and my greatest wish for the year ahead, and my promise to all is that we will continue to work along these lines, creating a

borough where everyone is welcome, a borough that is prosperous, a tourist destination that creates jobs, employment, that is competitive, sustainable, and has a future. A future for our young people, a future for adults, a future for

families, a future for everyone. This promise I make as mayor, as well as wishing you all the best for 2014. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga Mayor of Adeje

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

NEWS ON THE ROCK

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Gift Of A Smile

A 68-year-old German walker who has been missing since Thursday after going walking in the La Orotava area has sadly been found dead, emergency services have announced. The poor man was found at the bottom of a barranco in the Aguamansa area around 4pm last Saturday, after several days intensive searches by helicopter and land units from the Grupo de Emergencias y Salvamento (GES), the Guardia Civil, Red Cross, Ayuda en Emergencias Anaga (AEA), members of the Centro Coordinador Insular de Emergencias (Cecopin), Bomberos, and the Policía Local of both La Orotava and Santa Úrsula. His body has now been transferred to the judicial authorities where an autopsy is likely to be ordered. The home secretary Canary Coalition in Los Realejos, Enrique García, has criticized the attitude of the mayor who is “playing politics” in reference to the statements made by the group of Government regarding the case of 11 homes Public Advocacy protected in the neighborhood of La Carrera. For the nationalist spokesman in the town, it is “unfortunate” that the role he’s playing as the mayor in this allocation process has been paralyzed by an administrative appeal and has already resumed its course “and populism has found no solutions between administrations. There have been 540 requests for this set of records whose homes are in various stages of revision and expansion. Also, despite the different cases that are in each of the records, the council notes that the nationalist Canarian Institute of Housing is managing the award process correctly “has once again put in place following a period of suspension due to the challenge of Decree 138/2007, of 24 May, the establishes the rules for the award of public housing owned by the Canarian Institute of Housing “and that led to the shutdown of the award of several promotions. The Canary Coalition spokesman in Icod de los Vinos, Francisco González, spoke of the need for the necessary items to carry out the comprehensive rehabilitation project of the Fajardo Film Theatre, be reflected in the 2014 budget. This property, acquired by the city of Icod de los Vinos in the early 90s for years was used as a cinema and for theater performances. However, over time it began to decline due to the lack of maintenance and the lack of cultural initiatives. This decline led to the closure of the building in 1999, and an agreement with the Cabildo of Tenerife for a “Reform and Expansion Project Theatre Cinema Fajardo”. From then until now, there have been several projects written that said the multiple deficiencies of the building are so many and of such high cost that it was cheaper to build a new center to house all the various activities of the municipality, such as theater, music school, school of folklore, cinema and auditorium. ... the idea having been subjected to a process of public consultation with different groups that supported the idea to build a new and more modern space that would answer the demands of all cultural groups ‘from scratch’ Over the following months steps were made to convert this project into a Performing Arts Center, reaching the point of a demolition project being drawn and awarded. However, after the 2011 elections, the future of this space was again blocked by the the current government group that changed its mind and opted for the demolition of the building to be cancelled, and to instead, address the rehabilitation.

ThE CANARY Coalition in Guia de Isora has contributed a lot of toys bought in the town to the Solidarity Campaign “Gift of a Smile,” launched by the Association of Entrepreneurs and Business, City Council and Red Cross in Guía de Isora. Nationalists, with the help of activists, supporters and the general public, have collected a large batch of toys to

contribute to the goal that no child is left without a gift this holiday season.

For the CC municipal group, it “is a clear example of the commitment of society, Isorana sectors are faring worse on a very fragile economic environment for many families in the town”. The objective of this campaign is that Isorano children continue to enjoy toys that allow them to let their imagination and dream of a better life, in short, “allowing them to be children.”

CHLORINE CAPER!

hE LoCAL Committee in La Matanza Canary Coalition, has criticized the poor water quality in the town and blames the inefficiency of the City. It’s been a problem that;

“Has not been solved despite the neighbors complaining and have spent many years suffering this persistent problem.” Also, the CC emphasizes MON 30th TUE 31st WED 1st THR 2nd C�� A��, the need for the group of R�� municipal government to “lower the price of water” be��, cause “we are paying a high �� , price for a service that is not �� , quality” and that “you can��, �� not even consume in peace Wishing because of the high fluorine You content you have.” Because �� A Happy of this the nationalists insist 08:00 - 22:00 � New Year! on the need to “reduce by at least 50% the price of water” so that the neighbors would, D�� P�� T� E�� T�� G�� O� A F�� C�� I� J�� € 5 “make what you currently E�� 6 F�� C�� O� G�� S�� F�� € 25 have to spend on buying D�� / W�� / F�� M�� A�� bottled water” while urging ��.��.�� socialists “they fix as soon as R�� A��, (0034) 664 576 779 possible, the problem of exA�� A��, L�� C�� .��.�� cess fluoride in the water.”

GYM OPEN AS NORMAL

FRI 3rd

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www.tenerife-weekly.com I WoULdN’T call myself a Buddhist, I have been known to kill the odd fly, but I would like to think I could help them out if there was a rush. Ever since my lovely wife and I won the holiday of a lifetime to Thailand in 2008, courtesy of Siam Park, we’ve embraced the Thai culture and admire the Buddhist way of life, and I think, or at least I hope, that it’s made me a better person. I should probably mention that after our life changing first trip, we returned in 2012 and got married in a traditional Thai ceremony complete with Buddhist monks, the following September we recreated the event here in Tenerife with all our family and friends, all the Buddhas and Thai paraphernalia we used to decorate Vivo, where we held our reception is now dotted all over the house! B u t you’re probably w o n dering, w h y I’m talking about my marriage and Buddhism? Well, last m o n t h the master of Dzogchen teachings, Chögyal Namkhai Norbu, and the mayor of Adeje, José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga, officially presented what will be the international Dzamling Gar, Global Centre of the Dzogchen International Community. This new international centre, located in Playa Paraíso will host representatives of the Gars, which are centres of teaching, and for the practice of the principles of the association. Gars are located throughout the world. The development of this centre will see the realisation of the dream of Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche to have a Global Gar, a place where the entire Dzogchen community can meet and work together in harmony. This Global Gar will be a centre of study and practice for the world-wide Dzogchen community as well as a centre for the promotion of the mission of ASIA-Onlus, a non-governmental organisation, and the Shang Shung Institute which works to preserve the Tibetan culture for future generations. But What Is Dzogchen? According to Tibetan Buddhism and Bön, Dzogchen is the natural, primordial state or natural condition, and a body of teachings and meditation practices aimed at realizing that condition. Dzogchen, or “Great Perfection”, is a central teaching of the Nyingma School, also practiced by adherents of other Tibetan Buddhist sects. According to Dzogchen literature, Dzogchen is the highest and most definitive path to enlightenment. Still no wiser? The analogy given by Dzogchen masters is that one’s nature is like a mirror which reflects with complete openness, but is not affected by the reflections, or like a crystal ball that takes on the colour of the material on which it is placed without itself being changed. The knowledge that ensues from recognizing this mirror-like clarity (which cannot be found by searching nor identified) is what Dzogchenpas refer to as “rigpa”. Although Dzogchen cannot be separated from the Buddhist or Bön tradition, very often teachers emphasize the non religious character of Dzogchen. However, the Buddhist or Bön traditional framework is never negated. Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche says that, as our primordial nature, Dzogchen has existed since the beginning of time and is pointed to by various masters throughout the Universe. This new teaching centre bring us practices from Tibet along with other philosphical and religious idealogies already existing in the borough which, according to the mayor, “are helping us to become the epicentre of a society in which peaceful and equitable co-existence is both the backbone and the springboard for a positive future.” Dzogchen master, Chogyal Namkhai Norbu, told the guests that “I came to this island for the first time two

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

A TASTE OF TIBET IN TENERIFE By Marc Craig

years ago and discovered a most agreeable place with open-minded and peaceful people, and the localisation of our centre here will allow our global community come together to work for the wellbeing of humanity and all the individuals that are part of it.” Subsequently he added, “in general the Dzogchen community is like a large family and my mission isn’t to teach a religion or philosophical doctrine but instead to show the way of evolution which each person must follow”. Hope that cleared it up for you, I’m off meditate with a green tea.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Damaged MUCH COOLER THAN A SLEIGH! Homes T Receive Financial Assistance he real Santa may have flying reindeer to pull his gift laden sleigh but this Santa, Thierry Toutut from Motogrupo Tenerife Gorillas and Restaurante Sorpresa Sorpresa in Callao Salvaje, relies on sheer horse

hE CANARIAN government has announced financial recompense for those whose main family home was affected by the recent severe floods and winds, and whose family income is less than 33,500 euros. The announcement has been published in the BoC hERE and allows for varying amounts to be paid depending on circumstances:

up to a maximum of 12,000 euros is available where a property has been totally destroyed; up to 9,000 euros where structural damage has been suffered; and up to 5,000 euros for other damage which is not structural. The assistance is said to be complementary to and compatible with any assistance provided by any other government department – in other words compensation may not be doubled up. The aid is also subsidi-

ary to insurance cover, though if an insurance policy does not cover all the costs of damage, the Canarian government will make up the difference if deemed appropriate. Those who feel they might be entitled to one of the grants have ten calendar days – counting from the Tuesday 24 December – to submit an application in the Ayuntamiento of their municipality. Forms must be completed in accordance with the details given in the BOC. The local authority will carry out economic and technical reports, and any grants awarded will be paid within six months.

power

Each year Thierry jumps on his festively decorated hog, in a full Father Christmas suit complete with a bushy white beard, to hand out Gifts and sweets and Christmas cheer for the children of South Tenerife! Well done Thierry!

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CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

vivo.10975 ACROSS 8. Tapered pointer held by Ned (8) 9. A horse quantity? (6) 10. Wag left off washing part of leg (4) 11. Make a bow and say “Ido” (3,3,4) 12. Firmly hold onto batch of eggs (6) 14. Clouded over as night fell (8) 15. Eric swallows rodent - how irregular! (7) 17. Pick-me-up from pepper

DOWN 1. Bach has upcoming part as single chap (8) 2. Press golf club (4) 3. Exchange light button (6) 4. Attach end to a series of book supplements (7) 5. Saw charger on carpenter’s stand (8) 6. Accounts clerk for library? (10) 7. Reverse invitation to enter with wages (6) 13. Ghost supports side with willingness to work

Av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De Las Americas Arona ( In Front Of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

mill when, er, thousand gone (3,4) 20. Statute is appropriate for court cases (8) 22. One thousand involved in strange chore to make shiny metal (6) 23. CIA airlift apparently not genuine (10) 24. A walking stick for Abel’s brother, I hear (4) 25. In final aria took rope (6) 26. Pa ceased silly adventure (8) together (4,6) 16. Start off adjusting a tie in it (8) 18. Ale demon changed into fizzy drink (8) 19. Aimed to put steeple tip in ad (7) 21. A US woman overseas (6) 22. Chic Ali could use some unbleached cotton (6) 24. Print-out for policeman and youth leader (4)

Answers to the CRYPTIC CROSSWORD are on page 2

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

ADEJE MAYOR CONGRATULATES EMERGENCY TEAMS

by englishtimeadeje.com

hE dIFFERENT teams who work during emergency situations in Adeje - Policía Local, Volunteer Fire-fighters, Civil Protection, Traffic and Municipal Service - came together last Week, an event at which Adeje mayor, josé Miguel Rodríguez Fraga, publically congratulated the teams for their work and for going beyond the call of duty in carrying out their respective duties. During the meeting Mayor Rodríguez Fraga

made special mention of the Policía Local, a body who, as a result of the recent storms, were unable to celebrate the feast day of their Patron, la Virgen de Guadalupe. In this regard the joint event was also marked by the presentation of an award of distinction to a member of the Policía Local for a clear act of bravery in which he went far beyond the call of normal duty. The mayor reflected on the need for security, “we always need security, it’s always there, but at times we realise just how important the presence of the security forces is in pub-

Two Trafﬁc Accidents In Arona, One Fatal

by janetanscombe.com

hRISTMAS campaigns notwithstanding, take care on the roads out there over the holiday period. There have been two traffic accidents in Arona. One, a 21-year-old woman was lucky to escape with minor injuries last night

after her car overturned around 3am in Avda. Amsterdam, Los Cristianos, Arona. The other, a 70-yearold man, however, was sadly killed when he was knocked down on the main TF657 in Cabo Blanco at 11pm. Despite paramedics’ best efforts he was declared dead at the scene. Police say that they have arrested two Los

lic, for instance during the storms we lived through just a few days ago or the fire that touched all of us last year. This meeting of fraternal experiences also serves to remind us of the importance of public security and how necessary it is for our society today.”

Recognition

Mayor Rodríguez Fraga paid tribute to the work of the Adeje Volunteer Firefighters who “since their inception, have been on the ball, unselfishly, though not without problems, put they have never abandoned their post and best of all is that they work in perfect Abrigos men of 27 and 28 years of age who were driving a Renault Kangoo when they knocked down the poor man in Cabo Blanco, and who drove off without stopping to help or report the accident. The hit and run will now result in them being charged with reckless driving and homicide. The victim has been identified as Gregorio Martín Rancel, a resident of Buzanada known popularly as “Vargas”. He had worked before retiring for the council and was very involved in Buzanada sports club. Sadly, he had been in Cabo Blanco visiting a niece who had herself been a victim of a traffic accident.

synergy with the police, which makes their operations extremely efficient.” The Adeje Civil Protection unit was also congratulated by the borough’s first citizen for “looking after people, protecting them, guiding them and always with a smile; they have developed into a body with great empathy for their surroundings and are a key element in assisting the public when and wherever they are needed”. The mayor also referred to the Civil Protection Volunteer Unit which he called “the friendly face of our security forces, men and women who have decided to help

others during their free time, who are valued more and more every day and whose work at different events has been faultless.” Adeje council Traffic personnel (signalling) and Municipal Services (operators and garden staff) were also recognised for their work throughout the recent storms, during which a group of persons were on call at all times. Their particular function was to clear roads of stones, mud, branches, etc, which had fallen due to the heavy rains and high winds, as well as keeping the borough’s communication channels up to date on the state of

the roads and informed as to any danger points where particular attention was needed. Finally the mayor of Adeje, José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga said, “we are recognising the work of those people who are there at critical moments, who take risks, help, who wear themselves out to perform essential work, a duty that they have been entrusted with and which they carry out daily without hesitation, because they know that the security and wellbeing of society is an integral part of their responsibility and, therefore, they have to respond”.

Miss Universe Runner Up

Meets Press

AST Friday, 20th december at 12.30, Tenerife born Yurena Patricia Rodriguez, met the media in the Salón Noble at the Cabildo. This was her first public appearance on the island after successfully winning the title of first runner-up in

the Miss Universe beauty contest on November 9 – the first Spaniard since 1985.

Vice president, Efraín Medina, accompanied Yurena Patricia Rodriguez, who was has been a true ambassador for Tenerife in Moscow and across the globe.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Keep FIT

IT Canarias was launched on the morning of december 19th, Adeje mayor josé Miguel Rodriguez Fraga, Tenerife Cabildo president Carlos Alonso, Ashotel president jorge Marichal and jose Luis Garcia Martinez president of the Santa Cruz de Tenerife chamber of commerce took part in a round table discussion to introduce the concept . The FIT will be a space dedicated to nurturing creativity and innovation in the tourism sector to move Tenerife’s tourism sectors towards becoming ‘intelligent destinations’. Amalio Ray, an expert in the field of innovation in industry, spoke

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by englishtimeadeje.com

of moving forward and developing the destination in a positive light, generating a better tourist experience. A ‘smart’ destination needs more than technology, it needs quality, cohesion, diversity, humour…and much more. He also spoke of the need to turn tourism thinking on its head, to create hybrid tourist products and offers combining, for instance, tourism with art, architecture, agriculture or history. Tourism stereotyping he called a ‘cancer’. Adeje mayor José Miguel Rodriguez that FIT was: “an open tool which would be driven by content, a meeting point for exchanging ideas, for assessment, help, a place to seek partnerships with organisations working in other fields, a key element is the human factor, tourism is something

that can generate benefits for the resident population and this has to be the priority, and the tourist is also a citizen and we have to produce in them an experience that is positive before, during and after their stay in our destination. Tourism is our opportunity. Tourism will continue to be our strategic motor and in that regard we have to guard this resource, invent and reinvent continuously, and we have the talent here to do that. We have already done a lot and done it well, but now we face new challenges and need to readjust the pieces to fit in a different manner”. Cabildo president Carlos Alonso explained: “FIT was a project that was born of a question mark that wished to become an exclaimation mark through

partnership with different tourism sectors that wished to improve”. He said FIT was like going to a gym, but instead of building up muscle in the FIT were helped develop creativity and innovation. What is FIT Canaries? The ‘heart’ of the Tourism Innovation Factory will be the participating businesses and units that locate there, who will form part of the creative team in FIT, a group of professionals who will concentrate their efforts on coming up with ideas. Tenerife will not just be known as a leading tourist destination but also as a pioneer in tourism innovation. Even though the primary line of work of FIT will be intelligent tourist destinations, other areas will also be explored, such as commercialisation, products, marketing and promo-

tion, distribution and loyalty. Work areas FIT Living Labs: The ultimate objective of the Living Lab is the creation of new products, services adapted for society’s daily needs. These services can be used publically or privately and the space can be given over to testing of prototypes and new technologies for improving citizen welfare with real and tested outcomes. Networking Area: A space for collaboration between companies and/or individuals where ideas are generated and new projects explored. Demo Area: Interactive space between different agents from the tourism sector and between other sectors. Users can get to know and try out new innovative products. It will

also serve as a platform for launching new products, where companies can present their new ideas. Consultation Area: Assessment, help, assistance for companies exploring innovative ideas. Creative and Innovation Training Area. Open training and business courses. Workshops and sessions at different levels, from beginners to advanced to develop creative talent. FIT Events Area: Organisation of various events related to innovation and creativity in the tourist sector. Different spaces FIT also offers a number of differently designed spaces for the development of creative talent and innovation. These include a FIT garden, a co-working space, a demo lab and a colour room.

Da Vinci’s Drive Thru! Adeje

Icod de los Vinos

Santiago del Teide

La orotava

El Sauzal

C/ Grande 1, 38670, Adeje. Plaza Luis de León Huertas, Tel: 922 756 200 - 922 710 1, 38440, Icod de los Vinos. 120 - 922 710 420 Tel: 922 869 600 - Fax 922 869 643

Arona

Plaza del Cristo, s/n, 38640 Arona. Tel: 922 725 100 y 922 725 125 - Fax: 922 725 478

Granadilla de Abona

C/ San Francisco, 14, 38600, Granadilla de Abona Tel: 922 759 953 y 922 759 902 - Fax 922 759 965

Guía de Isora

Plaza General Franco, s/n, 38300, La Orotava. Tel: 922 324 444 - Fax 922 334 512

Puerto de la Cruz

C/ Santo Domingo, s/n, 38400, Puerto de la Cruz. Tel: 922 378 400 - Fax 922 375 253

El Rosario

C/ del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38680, Guía de Isora. Tel: 922 850 100 - Fax 922 850 354

Plaza del Ayuntamiento 1, 38290, El Rosario. Tel: 922 297 447 - Fax 922 548 280

Güímar

Ctra. de Los Abrigos 30, 38620, San Miguel de Abona. Tel: 922 700 000 y 922 700 001 - Fax 922 167 168

Plaza del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38500, Güímar. Tel: 922 526 100 y 922 526 101 - Fax 922 526 102

San Miguel de Abona

C/ la Placeta 10, 38436, Santiago del Teide. Tel: 922 863 127 y 922 863 150 - Fax 922 863 212 C/ La Constitución 3, 38360, El Sauzal. Tel: 922 570 000 y 922 570 24 - Fax 922 570 973

El Tanque

Avda. Príncipes de España 24, 38435, El Tanque. Tel: 922 136 715 y 922 136 623 - Fax 922 136 766

Tegueste

Plaza de San Marcos 1, 38280, Tegueste. Tel: 922 541 799 y 922 541 851 - Fax 922 540 903

Vilaflor

C/ Doctor Pérez Cáceres 1, 38613, Vilaflor. Tel 922 709 002 - Fax 922 709 151

L FRESCo diners at a chic Italian restaurant in my home town of Palm Mar, got a bit of a shock when out of nowhere an out of control car came careening down the steps toward the dining tables below….Actually that would have made a more dramatic story but chances are the restaurant was closed. Details are thin on the ground but apparently at around 12.30am last Saturday

morning a young Spanish girl somehow lost control of her vehicle, just after a roundabout in a 40 kmh residential zone and managed to end up over the curb and 30 yards across the pavement past a childrens play area and then down a flight of steps! I drove past not long after and it looked like an intentional ram raid attempt! Luckily no one was hurt in the incident, and at least the restaurant owner can thank heaven that she didn’t make it through the glass doors, the place was refurbished only last month!

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

TOURISM FIGURES BRING REAL HOPE FOR CANARIES And still it continues

by janetanscombe.com November’s figures have “shot up” by 17.9% compared with the same period last year, and have broken all records. November 2013 has the best figures for November that have ever been recorded for this time of year, with

1,073,759 tourists, says the Ministerio de Industria y Turismo. Not only that, but this year’s figures taken together show a new “historic maximum”, with 9,591,419 visitors to the end of November, up 4% from last year. Turismo is jubilant that this year will pass into the record books in both these respects, and

JAVIER ALONSO BELLO SELECTED

dEjE footballer javier Alonso Bello has been named in the regional under-16 football team. The 15 year old will take part in the national regional play offs in Madrid at the end of this month. Javier started his football in the Adeje Municipal Football School, moved to Club Águilas and for the last three seasons has been in the youth section of Club Deportivo Tenerife. Adeje mayor José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga sent his congratulations to the young Adeje

said that when figures for the whole of 2013 are released at the end of this month, it expects that another record will be broken in the number of visitors in a complete year – the current record is 10,210,000 in 2011. Good news for us all, and long may it continue!

player, the only one from the borough to be included in the Canarian side: “We are really proud of our young people who are achieving so much in the world of sport as well in in literature, music and science.” He added that young people like Javier showed that dedication and commitment paid off in the end. Players from nine different teams are in the final 18 picked by regional trainer David Sosa. The first round of the regional play offs will take place in San Agustín de Guadalix in Madrid between December 27th and 29th when the Canarian side will play teams from Madrid and Andalucía.

Lions Live E

ACh year at this time Tenerife Sur Lions Club donate boxes of biscuits to hospiten “Green hospital” in Playa Las Americas. It takes 32 boxes to give each of the nursing stations, translators department, intensive care, maintenance and reception areas a large tin of English Family Circle Assortment to enjoy at their tea or coffee break.

Edna Goodall a club director presented the gifts to some of the medical and administration staff this afternoon with the strict instructions that they are not to be opened until the 24th. The members of the Tenerife Sur Lions feel that this is a small gesture of thanks to the staff for their hard work that is ongoing all year for residents and holiday makers alike.

Two cases of meningitis in Arona area

by janetanscombe.com A 9-YEAR-oLd Valle San Lorenzo girl is in intensive care in Candelaria hospital at the moment with meningitis, and another was diagnosed with the same on Tuesday night, though she has now been able to be released. This is viral meningitis, thankfully the least severe type which usually clears up with only specifically symptomatic treatment being necessary - it is bacterial meningitis that is the really dangerous form. Nonetheless, complications can arise with viral meningitis and it is worth keeping an eye out for any possible

symptoms and taking children to a hospital immediately if there is any suspicion of infection. As AquíSur says in its own article, we are not reporting this to cause panic, and are trying to be as little alarmist as possible. It is essential,

however, to alert the public, particularly anyone with children in towns like Valle San Lorenzo. Early detection is key to avoiding complications, and initial symptoms are similar to flu, with headache, vomiting, sleepiness, fever, etc. In the case of any doubt, go to a doctor as soon as possible.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

EXPLORING HISTORICAL CHURCHES OF TENERIFE, PART 1.

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ENERIFE is an island with a rich cultural and religious history. In fact, the popular travel site TripAdvisor has five churches occupying the top ten list of things to do on Tenerife. These churches and convents are mostly known for their rich, ornate and artistic architecture and style. however, many have unique stories grown from

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their long history, recorded as far back as 600 years ago.

These sites are easy to reach and offer visitors a view into another side of life on Tenerife. Here are a few churches that made the top ten list and the reasons that tourists and pilgrims alike are drawn to these religious sites.

Basilica de Nuestra Senora de Candelaria This minor basilica sits on the edge of the city of Candelaria, about 20 km (12 mi) south of the

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island’s capital, Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Surrounded by ample parking and a pleasant statue-lined plaza, the basilica has a commanding view over the sea. Pilgrims flock to Nuestra Senora de Candelaria yearlong, but especially on August 14th which marks the celebration of the Virgin of Candelaria, the patron saint of the Canary Islands. The Virgin, one of the Black Madonna’s, has a rich history with the island since, as legend has it, she washed up on shore to be discovered by two goat herders. She was kept in a cave and worshipped by the local Guanche until a church was later built to house the venerated statue. The original statue was washed out to sea in a tidal wave but a copy was made and the locals continued their worship. The Spaniards, in their quest to convert the Guanche, built a church to house the new statue in 1526; however, bad luck continued and the church was taken by fire.

Iglesia de la Concepcion, San Cristobal de La Laguna The Iglesia de la Concepcion was the first parish church established on Tenerife. It is located in the city of San Cristobal which lies approximately 11 km (7 mi) inland from the capital city of Santa Cruz. The church features a tower rising over the city that many climb for fantastic views of the surrounding countryside. In 1948, the site was declared a National Historic-Artistic Monument by the Spanish government. Inside the temple there is the protected oil of St. John. It is said that when the Black Death hit the island in 1648, the icon sweated oil and this miracle eradicated the disease from the island. Just outside the church stands a beautiful statue of Pope John Paul II sculpted by Polish artist Czeslaw Dzwigaj and blessed by the Bishop of Tenerife.

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hospitals 094 National Ferry Services Hospital Las Américas,

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The current, ornate basilica took over ten years to build and was consecrated on February 1, 1959. It now houses the statue.

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EVENTS ON THE ROCK Until 15th March 2014 If you want to discover the

traditional Tenerife, listen to its music, watch its dancing and meet the very best folk groups of the islands visit Arona Folkfest Thursday 20:30 Paseo Marítimo Los Cristianos Friday 20:30 h Playa de las Americas (C.C. Gala) 2nd Saturday of the month 20:30 pm Las Galletas, Parque Paulino Suances Romín Until 31st of December at the academy and the museum. Commemorating a century (1913-2013) Museum of Fine Arts - Santa Cruz celebrates the restoration of the Academy by the King Alfonso XIII, formerly the Royal Academy of Fine Arts was founded by Queen Elizabeth II. to January 2014 Fotonoviembre - XII International Biennial of Photography in Tenerife gathers creators from all over the world of contemporary photography. In multiple locations to February 1, 2014 Sorolla, the colour of the sea Cultural Space CajaCanarias, Santa Cruz to February 1, 2014 Manolo Millares Cultural Space CajaCanarias - Fundación Cristino de Vera La Laguna.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

WHITE CHRISTMAS IN TENERIFE!

hILE the UK was battered by wind, rain, floods tidal waves, snow and ice, our weather here on the rock settled down to its usual warm, pleas-

ant december mate.

cli-

Beaches were full of sun seekers again, although the nights this week were definitely quite a few degrees colder than I’m used to, I certainly felt a bit chillier performing outside at Vivo and driving home in a roofless jeep, I was

El Hierro S Seismic Again

in desperate need of a hot cuppa by the time I got home! Of course the (almost) frosty nights did have its plus side; it was a Tenerife white Christmas as we all got to gaze up at the majestic Mount Teide, dressed in her winter clothing of a thick blanket of snow! When Teide is good enough

EISMIC activity has been recorded on El hierro, two years after a new volcano began to appear off its southern coast. Spain’s National Geographical Institute says the Canary Island of El Hierro has been rocked by more than 50 tremors in 24 hours. The resurgent seismic activity has caused no damage, a regional government spokeswoman said Monday. She spoke on condition of anonymity because she

to provide the raw materials, a tradition of sorts here is to drive up, find some virgin snow, build a snowman on the bonnet of your car – ensuring you can still see to drive of course, then drive back down to the sun kissed beach front, laughing at all the double takes you get!

was not authorized to be identified in the media. The last time volcanic activity affected the island, residents could see smoldering volcanic rocks spewing from the sea.The government subsequently evacuated the port of La Restinga, banned aircraft from flying over the southern tip and ordered ships to avoid the area. El Hierro has some 11,000 residents and was originally formed by volcanic activity.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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PM Quashes Catalan Independence

SPANISh Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has vowed to block an attempt by Catalan leaders to hold an independence referendum on November 9, 2014, only hours after Catalan political chief Artur Mas unveiled the date and wording of the poll, Rajoy told a news conference:

‘It is unconstitutional and it will not take place.This initiative collides head-on with the foundation of the constitution which is the indissoluble unity of the Spanish nation,’ the conservative premier said. The governing alliance and other nationalist parties had agreed to ask voters next year: ‘Do you think that Catalonia should be a State, yes or no? If yes, do you want that State to be independent, yes or no?’ Mas said a majority of parties in Catalonia backed the referendum: ‘There will be time for the Spanish state to negotiate with the Catalan institutions over how to hold this consultation in accordance with existing legal norms.’ Many of the 7.5 million people in Catalonia want independence from Spain, saying they feel short-changed by the central government that redistributes their taxes and are sick of the five year recession. Catalonia accounts for one-fifth of Spain’s total output and an even greater share of its exports, they have their own language and culture of which they are very proud and hope Madrid would consider allowing the creation of a new nation. But Rajoy said it was up to all Spaniards to decide on the shape of their country: ‘No government can surrender what belongs to the Spanish people.’ Rajoy said he regretted initiatives that ‘splinter society, feed division and generate deep uncertainty’. He called on Mas to respect ‘the political commitment he assumed not to break the law’. European Union President Herman Van Rompuy, who was in Madrid for talks with Rajoy, said that he was ‘confident’ Spain

would remain united and warned that any new independent state would have to apply to become a member of the European Union, subject to ratification by all member states. Catalonia was there at the symbolic birth of Spain when Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand of Aragon, a region that included Catalonia, married in 1469. On September 11, Catalonia’s national day, hundreds of

thousands of Catalans massed in a vast human chain stretching across the region to demand independence. Many Catalans point to Scotland, whose leaders have called a referendum next September on independence from Britain - a move authorised by the British government. Rajoy said this month that Catalonia could not hold a referendum like Scotland because Spain has a written constitution that rules out such a move.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Abortion Syrian Rebels Vow To Laws To Protect Journalists Go Back 30 Years

EW legislation proposed by the ruling conservative People’s Party would see abortions allowed only for victims of rape or where there is a risk to the motherto-be’s physical or psychological health.

Anti-abortion activists are delighted that the government wants to change the law back to what it was in 1985, making it much harder for women to terminate unwanted pregnancies. Pro-choice campaigners however are outraged about the government bill. Abortion rights demon-

strator Mariqueta Vazquez said: “Ideology? Let each one of us have her own, It is not compulsory to have an abortion for people who don’t want to. There are always lots of reasons why women have an abortion. They don’t want to. No woman wants to!” Opposition Socialists says they will fight the proposed new law which would roll back reforms the party made when it was in government. But the bill is expected to easily pass in parliament where the People’s Party has an absolute majority. The law would make Spain among Europe’s most restrictive countries on abortion.

YRIA has become the most dangerous country in the world for journalists, and the number of abductions has soared to an unprecedented level over the past year.

The leaders of Syria’s main Westernbacked moderate rebel faction said they would do everything in their power to protect journalists on assignment in the country and work to secure the release of those who have already been abducted. The vow was made in a letter from the Supreme Military Council, the military wing of the Syrian National Coalition, which came in response to an appeal from 13 major international news organizations calling for urgent action against rebel groups targeting journalists for kidnappings. The vast majority of the kidnappings over the past six months have occurred in opposition-held parts of northern and

SPAIN’S POOREST REGION SCOOPS EL GORDO

eastern Syria, where al-Qaida-linked rebel groups are particularly strong. Javier Espinosa, bureau chief of EL MUNDO in the Middle East with 25 years of front line reporting, and Ricardo Garcia-Vilanova, award-winning freelance photographer, were abducted on the 16th of September at a check-point near Tal-Abyad, northern Syria. They are being held hostage by a group linked to al-Qaida and were taken along with four members of the Free Syrian Army rebel group. An undated picture has been released by the family of Ricardo GarciaVilanova, which shows him taking photographs of a Free Syrian Army fighter in Aleppo, Syria. The families of two Spanish journalists have appealed publicly today for their safe and immediate release. They were taken to facilities belonging to the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) in Raqqa. Many of the kidnappings go unreported in the hope that keeping the

hE LARGEST lottery in history has been won in part by groups of friends and families in jaen, in southern Spain. The prizes were drawn by pupils from The College of San Ildefonso, according to El Gordo tradition. El Gordo sales account for nearly half of all lottery tickets sold in the year. one in three Spaniards took part in the famous El Gordo lottery, and, for the first time, winnings of more than 2,500 euro will be subject to a 20% government tax. Spain came to a virtual

abductions out of public view may help with negotiating the captives’ release. The scale of the abductions and the lack of response to individual mediation efforts have encouraged some families and employers to speak out. In its response to the appeal, the Supreme Military Council said: “We will do our utmost to release all journalists who have been detained whilst fulfilling their professional duty and highlighting the suffering of the Syrian people. It is imperative that we reiterate that the FSA, along with all of its units and brigades, will do its utmost to protect and support journalists in order that they can fulfill their vital work, we will do everything in our power to bring an end to the abuses against journalists that have and continue to occur regardless of their coverage. Many of these perpetrators are from groups who are strangers to the culture and good nature of the Syrian people.”

standstill as the winning numbers of the country’s most popular Christmas lottery, offering 2.5bn Euros in prize money, were announced.

No less than two shares in the winning El Gordo ticket – 62246 – went to towns in one of the poorest provinces in Spain. In total there are 15 winners in the south, with towns including Bailen and Huelma in Jaen and Sanlucar La Mayor, in Sevilla, each receiving 400,000 euros. Leganes, near Madrid, and Modragan, in the north, also had winners with shares in the lucky number. The number 79712 came second in the draw, with a prize of 1,250,000 euros to be divided among those

with shares – with each likely receiving around 125,000 euros. Among the audience was Jesus Lorente, who bought his second prize ticket at a gas station in Granadilla de Abona in Tenerife. Asked what he planned to do with the money, he said he would use it to clear his debts. “The ticket is stored in a safe place at home,” he said. The El Gordo lottery sees the greatest odds of all the large draws of ticket-purchasers holding a winning number, and although the prize money is substantial to the average person, it is not a ‘life-changing’ amount – it is more likely to be a few thousand than several million, the idea being that with lower prizes, more people get the chance to win something.

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CHALLENGING Puzzle

EASY Puzzle

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

SUdoKU Every Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically.

Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row, column and 3 x 3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

Answers to the SUdoKU are on page 2.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

MAINLAND SPAIN COULD MAKING NEWS IN PUBLIC “VAPING” ILLEGAL BRIEF A shocking video released by the group Periodismo Humano shows police striking unarmed women with batons in Madrid before arresting them after a protest against the country’s tough new abortion law. The law, which rolls back a 2010 law that allowed women to get an abortion without restrictions up until the 14th week of pregnancy, is expected to pass through parliament The five-minute clip was filmed by the group Periodismo Humano at a protest in front of Madrid’s Ministry of Justice on Friday. Demonstrators from the group We Decide organized the protest to demand the resignation of Justice Minister Alberto Ruiz-Gallardon and the withdrawal of the government’s draft law which will restrict access to abortions.The video has not been independently verified. Francisca Garcia, of the Association of Accredited Abortion Clinics, said the new law would make 100,000 of the 118,000 abortions carried out last year illegal. 150 US Marines were dispatched to the Horn of Africa from Spain on Monday to be positioned to provide security or evacuate Americans from violence-racked South Sudan, the U.S. military said. The move follows an incident Saturday in which three aircraft were hit by ground fire as they attempted to rescue Americans. The Marines arrived in Djibouti from their base in Moron, Spain. They are from a force of more than 500 Marines established this year to more quickly respond to crises in Africa. The special purpose “air-ground task force” is trained to provide security for U.S. property and evacuate Americans when needed. They are capable of responding to a crisis within six hours of notification. Security in South Sudan has been deteriorating for the past week and hundreds of Americans and other foreigners have been evacuated in recent days, the State Department has said. The country plunged into chaos after an attempted coup triggered fighting between rival ethnic groups. A 17-YEAR-OLD girl was among five people who were shot outside a housing development in John John, Port of Spain. A second woman was also shot in the attack that left all five at hospital. Officers said sometime around 4.30 p.m. Sherwin Beckles, 35, Alicia Phillip, 34, William Alexander, 19, Stephen Brown, 29, and Tabitha Phillip, were standing close to the Hillview Plannings when a car pulled up. Four men came out of the vehicle and approached the group before opening fire. They then went back into the car and sped off, police said. Beckles, Alexander, Brown and Alicia Phillip all live at John John while Tabitha Phillip lives at Sea Lots in Port of Spain. The Spanish king’s traditional Christmas Eve address was not aired on Catalonia’s public television on Tuesday for the first time since monarchy was restored, highlighting growing separatist fervour in the wealthy north-eastern region.Workers at the broadcaster called a half-hour strike for the exact time of the king’s speech. The official reason is to protest cost cuts and the outsourcing of some production, part of the independence-minded region’s clash with the central government in Madrid. While King Juan Carlos is unlikely to discuss the contentious issue of Catalan independence directly in his speech, he is likely to call on Spaniards to unify as the country struggles to emerge from a deep five-year economic crisis that has left one in four workers out of a job. TV3, the broadcaster’s flagship channel, will show re-runs during the strike and the speech will be made available later on its website, a spokeswoman said. ELEVEN Spanish cheeses have been awarded the Super Gold prize at the 2013 World Cheese Awards, held annually in Birmingham (UK), it is considered the most important cheese contest in the world. A total of 2,800 cheeses from all over the world were entered in this year’s edition. A panel of 250 judges choose every year the best cheeses from different categories -goat, ewe, cow, specialist and other cheeses - and countries. The awarded cheeses come from Cadiz, Ciudad Real, Badajoz and Cantabria. German blue cheese ‘Montagnolo Affiné’ has been chosen as World Champion for its mild flavour and creamy texture.

PAIN’S Ministry of health wishes to apply similar legislation to the increasingly popular e-cigarettes as with tobacco products, meaning those who changed to electronic cigarettes to avoid having to go outside to smoke, will now have to do the same as their colleagues who are still lighting up the old fashioned way. Should the legislation pass, it will mean that smoking electronic cigarettes or “vaping”, will soon be illegal in enclosed public spaces, such as shops, offices, schools, hospitals, restaurants and bars. Spain’s Health Minister Ana Mato has put forward the proposal to regulate these e-cigarettes, as was done with tobacco products The Ministry of Health has stated that when smoking an e-cigarette, the liquid is heated to generate steam, which

is then drawn into the lungs and some of the chemical ingredients used in the e-cigarettes can be toxic, as has already been reported to the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA). While not all e-cigarettes contain nicotine, many do. Besides this, they contain various flavored waters (mint, vanilla, strawberry etc.) as well as other chemical ingredients. The World Health Organization (WHO) also recently advised against using e-cigarettes “until there is data showing that they are safe, effective and of acceptable quality products.” Andalusia and Catalonia have already announced that they plan to ban ecigarettes in public schools and hospitals in order to try and prevent the devices becoming “a gateway to smoking.” The National Committee for Smoking Prevention (NPTC) has also called on the MInistry of Health to regulate the product as the organization, together cardiologists, pulmonologists and oncologists, feel that the electronic cigarette

“threatens the progress of the antitobacco campaigns,” they have released a document stating that these devices contain nicotine and “are not proven to help the cessation of smoking,” and that they contain toxic substances that are harmful to health and that they “should not be used in enclosed public spaces.” The NPTC also stresses the fact that the product can induce “a dangerous normalization of smoking.” E-cigarettes are available from specialist shops, pharmacies, kiosks and herbalist shops and so are generally very available to the public, whereas tobacco products can only be sold from official outlets. Other measures proposed include health warnings on the products, advising that nicotine is addictive. Officials state that the e-cigarettes cannot be considered a substitute for tobacco, or as a medicine to help a person quit smoking.

Ricky Wants Spanish Wedding

ICKY Martin has revealed he would love to get married in Spain. he obtained Spanish citizenship two years ago, sparking rumours he was to marry partner Carlos Gonzalez and recently admitted his citizenship claim was partially motivated by Spain´s move to legalise same-sex marriage. Ricky’s real name is Enrique Martin Morales, and he reclaims his Span-

ish blood through his two family names and through the Arizmendi line from his Basque grandmother and say he wants to make sure his children see Spain as part of their cultural identity.

The Puerto Rican heartthrob said the country was full of spectacular settings suitable for a formal wedding. Martin also said he would like to live in Andalucia for a while after falling in love with the region during a recent visit.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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SPAIN GETS WATER CANNON AFTER PROTEST CLASHES

S ThE row over Spain’s new ‘citizens’ security’ draft law continues, the government is now allocating funds for more anti-riot vehicles. The interior ministry has purchased a anti-riot vehicle with water cannons for about 500,000 Euros to use against protestors, according to the latest

official state bulletin, only weeks after bringing in fines of up to 400,000 Euros for those protesting in front of government buildings.

The news of the purchase of anti-riot vehicles with water cannons has come three days after a protest in front of Congress against the citizens’ security draft , the so called ‘’gag law’’ that the interior ministry is preparing to put before Parliament. The pro-

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test led to clashes between the police and protestors in which about 30 people were injured and seven were arrested. The measures, criticized by the human rights commissioner of the Council of Europe, hands down fines of between 20,000 and 400,000 euros for the filming and posting online of footage of policemen, punishes insults or threats to police as ‘’serious infractions’’, punishes the hanging of banners on buildings and enables private vigilantes to keep watch over, search

and arrest perpetrators of crimes in public places. The bulletin says that the vehicle was purchased ‘’to protect the free exercise of rights and freedoms and to guarantee citizens’ security’’ and to ‘’have available material means that, due to current social trends and in case of needing to restore public order’’ can be used ‘’in the least harmful way possible, being the ideal vehicles for control of mass gatherings’’.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

New Traffic Spain Fines Fines Are Profit Google Driven For Privacy

Violations

hE SPANISh data Protection Agency has ordered US Internet giant Google to pay a 900,000-Euro fine for “serious violations” of users’ privacy. It has fined Google USd 410,000 for each of three breaches of Spain’s data protection law and ordered it to bring its privacy policy in line with legal norms. The watchdog agency accused the popular search provider of “illegal processing of personal data” obtained from users of various services such as Google email accounts. The agency said in a statement: “Google unlawfully collects and processes personal information. The agency considers that Google seriously violates the right to the protection of personal data.” Google’s privacy policy enables it to track the activity of users across its search engine, Gmail, the Google+ social networking platform and other services it owns, which include YouTube, and did not clearly inform

hE EURoPEAN Automobile Association and devuelta has criticised new legislation in Spain, claiming it is aimed at helping in debt cities and towns to profit from fines and not at road safety. Spain’s economic crisis has cut the amount of money generated by traffic fines because drivers have cut the time they spend behind the wheel, the automobile groups believe that the new legislation is a direct result of this loss of income As originally proposed, fines for drunk driving were to double to 1,000 Euros, but

now the higher fine will only be imposed if a driver’s blood alcohol tests at twice the legal limit. The groups said the law sends a dangerous message: “Carry on consuming alcohol before getting behind the wheel, so we can fine you because we need the money.” The law also bans detectors for trafficsafety cameras. The groups say the cameras actually encourage drivers to slow down because they know they are being watched. The law also strips drivers of any legal protection from tickets, the groups said, because it allows traffic police to issue citations without any notice. Drivers may only realize they have been ticketed when a notice arrives in the mail and will be unable to argue they were not breaking the law.

users of how it uses the data collected, for example information from emails that is gathered to generate targeted advertising. It also accused Google of keeping the data for longer than is legally justified and of making it difficult for users to query the use of their data. Google has repeatedly stated that its privacy policy respects European law, despite investigations in several countries. The Spanish authority launched proceedings against Google in June. In September, France too said it would take action against the company, accusing it of breaching privacy norms. Authorities in Germany, Italy, The Netherlands and Britain have also opened parallel procedures against Google. The Spanish agency said it was the first of these six authorities to make a final decision on action against the US giant. The European Union warned Google in October 2012 that its new data protection procedures did not comply with an EU directive on the subject and gave the company four months to change them.

Vet Used Puppies To Smuggle Heroin

PANISh police have captured a Colombian vet who tried to smuggle liquid heroin by surgically implanting plastic bags of the drug into live Ro ttweiler and Labrador puppies. The fugitive identified only as Andres LE, is accused of operating on the dogs at his farm in the Colombian city of Medellin. He was tracked down in the city of

Lugo after more than eight years on the run. Colombian police raided his farm in January 2005,the Spanish police said in a statement: “They seized 3kg of liq-

uid heroin side six pies. drug

i n pupT h e w a s

extracted from the dogs, which had been destined for the United States.” Medellin police chief Ruben Carillo said each pup had one or two plastic bags of about 400g of liquid heroin in their abdomens: When we gave the dogs a n X-ray we did not detect anything. We did an ultrasound and there you could see the outline of the bags in their abdomens, we had never had a similar case for hiding drugs.” After the Colombian police raid, the US called on police forces worldwide to detain him on suspicion of drug smuggling.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Bamboo Towels & Sheets ThEY are brand new to Tenerife; in fact, they are brand new to anywhere! You may not have heard of Bamboo towels or sheets before, but they are here and they are fabulous. Take an opportunity to discover the benefits of having bamboo bath towels. Picture yourself getting out of the bath or shower and wrapping yourself in pure heaven, in possibly the softest bath towel ever. Bamboo towels allow you to dry yourself off quickly due to their premium absorbent properties while also giving you the luxurious feeling of the softest fabric you have ever felt against your body. Imagine sleeping on pure heaven, now you can with the amazing Bamboo sheets that are now also available in a selection of different colours. Experience the ultimate in sleep comfort. Pure cotton can often feel a bit rough to the touch; not only will you find that the towels are exceptionally soft and absorbent, but you will also find that they are durable for everyday use. They are also perfect for people who want to maintain a hygienic environment, because they

are naturally odour resistant due to the fibres fast-drying characteristics. So say goodbye to that disgusting mildew smell you get from other towels from time to time, and bathe in serenity. Bamboo fabric is created from the bamboo pulp and is 100% biodegradable. It is also anti-bacterial and hypoallergenic; bamboo is naturally antibacterial and resists mould, mildew, fungi and dust mites. These properties remain intact, making it suitable for those with eczema, hyper-sensitive skin or hay fever caused by dust mite. Even better news is that bamboo fabric require less frequent washing, it needs no more than a 30Ë&#x161;C wash and dries in half the time of cotton. Tumble dry low and remove from dryer as soon as it stops to avoid unnecessary creasing. The only place that actually stocks these delicious items is Antiquities Tenerife in Las Chafiras. The have stock in three different colours, soft brown, grey and aubergine. Pop in and see them and feel the difference for yourself.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

CHRISTMAS CHAOS AS STORMS CAUSE HAVOC IN UK S

EVERE Flood warnings were issued across all of England and Wales, as Christmas Eve travel was disrupted by yet more extreme bad weather all across Britain. More severe weather has been predicted after major storms battered the UK bringing travel chaos to millions. The Met Office issued a number of severe weather warnings as the storm moved across the UK, bringing widespread disruption to road, rail, air and sea passengers There were no trains to Gatwick or Stansted airports on the morning of Christmas Eve and services to Heathrow were affected by delays, while a power outage at Gatwick’s north terminal added to flight problems. A Gatwick spokesperson said:

“The cause of the power outages - flooding from the River Mole into airfield substations and North Terminal - is related to the heavy rain overnight and fixes for the issues are being progressed as quickly as possible. Gatwick would like to apologise for the inconvenience caused to some passengers today and we are working hard to keep disruption to a minimum.” One angry traveller said on Twitter: “@Gatwick--Airport is a disaster zone. Power failed, no computers and baggage cannot get to planes. Floors covered with people.” Trains and boats were also affected, First Great Western’s service from London Paddington to Devon and Cornwall left passengers stranded at Taunton in Somerset shortly before 1am because of flooding and signal problems.

Good Elf For 2014!

N oBSESSEd The Lord of The Rings fan has paid £250 to have her ears reshaped so she would resemble an elf. Melynda Moon had her ears cut and stitched back together in a pointed shape

in a procedure that took just two hours. Ms Moon, from Ontario in Canada, said: ‘I have always been very close to nature. Pointed ears are the most adorable thing, and I find the elven attire is so elegant, when I found out I could have my

ears pointed I have never been so sure of something in my entire life. I will never go back to being human. Now I just lack the glitter and wings to fly.’ Erm, hang on Melynda, i’m pretty sure there are no winged glittery elves in Tolien’s classic!

Seasick customers on the Spirit of Britain ferry Passengers on a Calais to Dover ferry spent a miserable 15 hours at sea. Rising water levels from the River Ouse brought floodwater into riverside roads in York Strong winds across Scotland and Northern Ireland up to 90mph, with sleet and snow are expected right across the festive period High winds have brought trees down across the country, and engineers and emergency services are working to clear them from railways and roads. The Highways Agency has warned of dozens of road closures and localised flooding. Christmas Day was expected to be calmer with just a few wintry showers in the north and west, while Boxing Day looks mainly fine, but stormy conditions look set to return today.

BA Plane ‘Crash’ A BRITISh Airways plane has crashed into a building at johannesburg Airport in South Africa, slicing its wing through the building while taxiing on the runway, BA confirmed.

The aircraft, carrying 182 passengers, is believed

to be a Boeing 747. British Airways says nobody in the plane was injured, no comment was made on whether anyone was injured in the building or on the ground. Posting on Twitter, the airline said: “One of our aircraft was damaged whilst taxiing at JNB airport. All 182 passengers disembarked safely

with no injuries onboard.” Harriet Tolputt, Oxfam’s head of Media, who was on the flight on Twitter wrote: “BA plane crashes into building at J Burg airport. No one injured only the pilot’s pride ... Not impressed that first class passengers get off before premium economy during an emergency.”

A FAIRYTALE WEDDING!

WEST Midlands couple used their big day to raise money for charity, by painting themselves green and dressing as movie characters Shrek and Princess Fiona to get hitched in a fairytale wedding. Guests also got involved in the themed celebrations, dressing up as the Gingerbread Man, Mickey Mouse and jack Sparrow from Pirates of The Caribbean. Amanda and Nathan Gibbs had originally planned a small ceremony but after losing several friends to cancer, they decided on the Hollywood theme to increase awareness of the disease, , the couple - who have been together for eight years

- asked people to donate money to Cancer Research instead of buying them wedding gifts. The Gibbs, from Kingswinford, tied the knot at Priory Hall in Priory Park, Dudley ,.Former bricklayer Mr Gibbs, 39, said: “In the last 15 months we’ve lost seven of our customers to cancer. It just broke our hearts. We wanted to do something to raise awareness of cancer and to encourage more people to go and get checked out.” The pair had often joked that if they ever got married, they would have a fairytale wedding. It was this that led to the costumed do: “It was a standing joke between us. All our friends started getting married and I said ‘When we do it

we’ll have a fairytale wedding. I’ll be Shrek and you can be Princess Fiona. Earlier this year we held a fundraiser for Cancer Research and we were talking about what else we could do when Shrek came on the TV. We turned to each other and laughed.” As they made plans for the fund raising wedding, the worst news reached them: “My sister Donna was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was such a shock. We were trying to do something to help others and then it happened to us.” Said Nathan. Luckily his sister has been given the all-clear but it made the couple even more determined to highlight the disease.

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The Walking Ted

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

ThE IMAGE of ‘Turkey Bear,’ which was uploaded to twitter by chef Simon hulstone before going viral, is quite possibly the horrifying doing the rounds this Christmas, yes, even more horrifying than SuBo and Elvis! Looking more like a zombie/Frankenstein hybrid than a cute teddy, Hulstone jokingly claimed the Christmas nightmare had taken

him all day to create and he hoped his children liked it. However, he later came clean admitting he had simply found the image online and the bear was in fact created by artist Victor Ivanov, and worse, its not even turkey, its plain old non festive chicken! I can’t decide which is worse, a father that makes such an unholy creation for his kids, or a father that would just lie about doing something for his kids which took all day, unholy or not!

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NORAD TRACKS SANTA

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

25 Years Since Lockerbie

oRAd (North American Aerospace defense Command) Followed Father Christmas as he headed around the world delivering 5,000 presents every second to homes across the globe this Christmas.

Puzzled children, by watching his epic Christmas Eve journey themselves on Santa Tracker - can find out the answer to the ultimate question - how on earth does Santa manage to deliver millions of presents to people all around the world in just one night? By the time you read this he will have visited 822 homes every second at a speed of 650 miles a second - delivering an estimated 1.6billion presents on Christmas Eve. This requires him to travel three times the speed of sound. Norad’s Santa Tracker first came about by accident on Christmas Eve in 1955 when a local media advertisement listed a direct phone number for Santa – only the number was misprinted. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone rang through to the Crew Commander on duty at the Continental Air Defence Command Operations Centre. Rather than disappoint the children, Commander Harry Shoup instructed his staff to give all the children who called a ‘current location’ for Santa. This is how the tradition began and it continued when Norad replaced Conad in 1958. It has become increasingly advanced over the years, developing from a call-centre manned by volunteers to a visual tracker that can be viewed online. It is also on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Norad volunteers answered 114,000 phone calls around the world last year The Santa Tracker website had 22.3 million unique visitors. Deputy Commander of Norad, Lt. Gen. Marcel Duval, said in 2010: ‘It’s really ingrained in the NORAD psyche and culture. It’s a goodwill gesture from all of us, on our time off, to all the kids on the planet.’ This year, Norad has teamed up with Microsoft to redesign its high-tech Santa Track website with a 3D globe, a holiday countdown and interactive games. The redesign team has added a touch function to the site, allowing smartphone users to pinch and zoom in on Santa’s destinations, according to Microsoft.

LONDON FUNERAL FOR PETER O’TOOLE

EMoRIAL services have been held In Scotland and the United States, for the 270 victims of the Lockerbie bombing on the 25th anniversary of the atrocity. Politicians and relatives of people killed attended the memorial in the town in southern Scotland, with services also taking place in London and in the United States, where most of the victims were from. Pan Am flight 103 was on its way from London to New York when it exploded above Lockerbie, in southern Scotland, on the evening of december 21 1988,

killing everyone on board and 11 people on the ground.

US government representative Craig Lynes said: “We gather today to remember each of the lives that were lost in this tragic event of December 21, 1988. Families, friends, it is you who bear the heaviest of hearts. While our words can do little to repair the damage caused by this act of terrorism, we offer them with hope. We offer these words as a tribute to the 270 lives that were cut short that evening, we offer them as a way to help carry their lives forward as we continue ours.” Prime Minister David Cameron said: “To families, friends, neighbours, loved ones and all those caught up in the painful process of recovery, let us say to them: our admiration for you

AWRENCE of Arabia star Peter o’Toole has been mourned at a private ceremony in London last weekend. he passed away aged 81 on december 14 after suffering from a long illness. O’Toole became internationally famous in 1962 when he starred in the classic film Lawrence of Arabia, and received the first of eight Oscar nominations. He continued to act right up to the end; after a career which lasted over 50 years, and despite saying he would

is unconditional; for the fortitude and resilience you have shown; for your determination never to give up. You have shown that terrorist acts cannot crush the human spirit.” Rev John MacLeod, who led the service, said: “It is 25 years after the day on which certain men chose to set aside their humanity and destroy the lives of 270 people in the air over this area of Scotland and here in the little town of Lockerbie; not only their lives but also those who survived, families and friends. What we the people of Lockerbie in this area will never tire of saying is we welcome you once again to this place where you know you are always welcome. In doing so we seek to comfort and console you.”

retire at 79, he had another film role lined up in Katherine of Alexandria which is due out next year. Although he was nominated several times for an Oscar, he never actually won it until 2003 when he received the Special Oscar for Lifetime Achievement. Initially he turned it down, saying he wanted to delay it until he was 80, because he was “still in the game and might win the bugger outright A former notorious hellraiser, he became very ill with stomach cancer in the 1970’s nearly destroying his life and career, but after some serious medical treat-

ment and giving up alcohol, he managed to beat it. The funeral was held at the Golders Green Crematorium and mourners included band Alabama 3 and musician Sting. O’Toole’s ex-wife Sian Phillips also attended. Daughter Kate O’Toole addressed mourners with a eulogy, saying: “The world has lost a great actor, but I’m not concerned with that.I simply have lost a great dad and the best friend I ever had. Daddy made me laugh more than anyone else I have ever met in my life.” A wake was later held at O’Toole’s London home.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Humans Are Search Called Off Chimp/Pig Hybrids For Party Swimmer AMERICAN geneticist dr Eugene McCarthy has made the shocking claim that ‘humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig.’

IGhT swimmers have been warned to stay out of the sea after a woman was swept away off Brighton beach last weekend

The 36-year-old woman is believed to have been swept out to sea in Brighton when she ran into the water after a “night out on the town”, it has been revealed. A major search operation was launched, but was later called off due to poor weather conditions - with coastguard personnel failing to find any trace of her. Now, police have revealed the woman - who has not yet been named - ran into the rough seas in the East Sussex resort while strolling along the shore with a friend. Her male companion attempted to rescue her, but was thrown back by three-metre waves. Coastguard rescue officers, lifeboat crews, police and a helicopter spent the night searching for the missing woman, who went into the water opposite the Digital nightclub, just west of Palace Pier, Brighton, at just before 2.30am on Saturday 21st December The woman, believed to be from Brighton, left the seafront nightclub and was walking along the beach between West Pier and Palace Pier with a man she knew when she ran into the water and was almost immediately swept off by a large wave, a police spokesman said: “The man tried to grab her but was unable to drag her to safety. Police officers arrived within minutes and, together with club staff and her friend, approached the sea edge but the woman was being washed further away and was inaccessible due to the very heavy sea conditions. Coastguards swiftly assisted the search by land and sea but the body has not, so far, been recovered and the immediate search has been discontinued at this time.” He said he does not know why the woman ran into the water and that the incident is not being treated as suspicious. Her next of kin have been contacted by family liaison officers, he said. Solent Coastguard stood down the search and rescue mission at about 9am following an exhaustive search of Brighton beach throughout the night and during first light this morning. A Solent Coastguard spokesman said: “We conducted a thorough search of the area and nothing was found. The conditions down there are appalling. It’s force eight with severe gale warnings. Gale force wind, rough seas and darkness make it difficult to spot a person in the water who needs help and so our request is simple - please don’t end your night out with a dip. Cold water and powerful seas mean that it’s really not as much fun as you might think.” A Sussex Police spokesman said: “A search was conducted along the beach including an aerial search by helicopter. At 4.40am no body or person had been recovered and that has not changed.”

Eugene McCarthy, who is also one of the world’s leading authorities on hybridisation in animals, points to key features and characteristics that distinguish us from primates, adding that the only animals which also have these features are pigs and these divergent characteristics are most likely the result of a hybrid origin at some point far back in human evolutionary history: ‘What is this other animal that has all these traits?’ he asks rhetorically. ‘The answer is Sus scrofa, the ordinary pig.’ These distinguishing characteristics, including hairless skin, a thick layer of subcutaneous fat, light-coloured eyes, protruding noses and heavy eyelashes, to name but a few, are unmistakeably porcine, he suggests. There are also a number of less obvious but equally inexplicable similarities between humans and pigs in the structure of the skin and organs, which would explain why pig skin tissues and heart valves can be used in medicine because of their similarity and compatibility with the human body. This remarkable and controversial new theory that Dr McCarthy points out is

merely a hypothesis, has been met by significant opposition from orthodox evolutionary biologists and their Creationist opponents alike. The flaw with this hypothesis, is that there is little chance that pigs and chimps could be interfertile. The two orders of creatures, according to evolutionary theory, diverged roughly 80million years ago, a ScienceBlogs post points out: ‘Just the gradual accumulation of molecular differences in sperm and egg recognition proteins would mean that pig sperm wouldn’t recognize a chimpanzee egg as a reasonable target for fusion.’ The blogger goes on to explain, while chimps have 48 chromosomes, pigs have just 38: ‘Hybridizing a pig and a chimp is like taking half the dancers from a performance of Swan Lake and the other half from a performance of Giselle and throwing them together on stage to assemble something. It’s going to be a catastrophe.’ The blogger concluded by suggesting Dr McCarthy should experiment a little with a pig to see how far his theory gets him! However, Dr McCarthy says that the original pig-chimp pairing was probably followed by several generations of ‘backcrossing’, where the offspring of that pairing lived among chimps and mated with them - becoming more like chimps and less like pigs with every new genera-

AND YOUR SECRET SANTA IS.. BILL GATES!

A stunned Reddit user, who took part in an online secret Santa programme, was gobsmacked when her secret Santa revealed himself to be none other than the second richest person in the world – Bill Gates. Known only as Rachel, Reddit user NY1227 had no idea that the ‘Bill’ who had sent her

a Christmas present was the founder of Microsoft.

Gates had secretly joined redditgifts.com this year alongside thousands of others around the world. The aim of the programme is to ‘create happiness’, the website says, by buying a stranger a well-thought-out gift and receiving one yourself, everyone who joins is paired with another in a ‘giant daisy chain’, with Mr Gates buying

tion, which helps to explain the problem of relative infertility in hybrids. Dr McCarthy points out that the belief that all hybrids are sterile is in fact false, and in many cases hybrid animals are able to breed with mates of the same species of either parent. After several generations the hybrid strain would have become fertile enough to breed amongst themselves, Dr McCarthy says . In its conclusion he writes: ‘I must admit that I initially felt a certain amount of repugnance at the idea of being a hybrid. The image of a pig mating with an ape is not a pretty one, nor is that of a horde of monstrous half-humans breeding in a hybrid swarm. But the way we came to be is not so important as the fact that we now exist. As every Machiavellian knows, good things can emerge from ugly processes, and I think the human race is a very good thing. Moreover, there is something to be said for the idea of having the pig as a relative. My opinion of this animal has much improved during the course of my research. Where once I thought of filth and greed, I now think of intelligence, affection, loyalty, and adaptability, with an added touch of joyous sensuality — qualities without which humans would not be human.’ Certainly something to think about next time you sit down for a bacon sandwich!

Rachel a donation to charity Heifer International on her behalf, as well as a stuffed cow to represent how the charity tries to end poverty and hunger by giving communities the right tools they need to survive including animals, seeds and clean water, plus a signed photograph and a travel book. Rachel told Reddit: ‘I feel SO shocked and excited that not only did I receive a gift from Bill, but it

was perfectly and EXACTLY tuned into my interests. My gosh, what a rush!!, I was so excited, the cause seemed really worthy and amazing, and it is the season of giving. By the way, the charity “gives families in need the right tools…or a chance for girls to go to school”. The last part was/is my favorite, since my master’s degree is in education and I am SO into educational benefits for all.’

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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T least 76 people have been injured, seven seriously, with 58 taken to hospital as parts of the Apollo Theatre ‘began to crumble down’ around them during a performance of The Curious Incident of the dog in the Nighttime.

Since the incident last Friday, it has come to light that the venue had “suffered years of benign neglect”. Nica Burns, co-owner and chief executive of Nimax Theatres, which runs the building in Shaftesbury Avenue, said in an interview last year that it had a budget of just £2.45m to restore its five West End playhouses. That was funded by a £1 restoration levy on tickets at the theatres, which the company said was spent entirely on upkeep and maintenance work once VAT was paid:

Ice To See You!

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

“Before we could start on the improvements, we had to address the damp. Water attacks the building from above and below.” Previous owner Andrew Lloyd-Webber, who sold the Apollo to Nimax in 2005, told the Times newspaper back in 2000: “The Apollo in particular is a shocking place. I suggested that both it and the Lyric should be knocked down and replaced by top-quality modern theatres.” Eyewitnesses in the packed audience of a London theatre have spoken of their anger at how such a ‘horrific’ and ‘terrifying’ roof collapse could happen at one of the busiest times of the year in the West End. Ornate plaster and masonry fell from the Grade II listed theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue 40 minutes into the show at around 8.15pm, engulfing the audience in a thick cloud of dust and debris. Theatre-goer Chris Edwards, whose son and daugh-

ATIoNAL Geographic has named the winners of its annual 2013 Photo Contest; with an incredible image of a polar bear peering through the ice claiming 1st prize.

The four-week competition saw professional photographers and amateurs from over 150 countries submitting more than 7,000 diverse entries in three categories: people, places and

ter-in law were rushed to hospital, spoke of his experience: ‘I was in seat F3 with my family all around me when part of the roof fell in right on top of us, I first heard cracking, and then looked up to see a big part of the roof coming down. It was horrific. I am really angry about this too. It was so lucky that someone wasn’t killed.’ Mr Edwards said that ‘larger pieces’ hit his son, causing significant injuries, and put his pregnant daughter-in-law at risk of personal injury or worse. ‘He’s still in hospital with a broken collar bone and suspected damage to his spine, I tried to cover my daughterin-law, who is pregnant, to protect her but some of the debris fell on her back. Thankfully she and the baby are safe. I have cuts and bruises myself, but we believe we have been very lucky.’ Martin Bostock, who was also in the audience said: ‘I was in the lower stalls

Theatre Roof Collapses During Packed Performance with my family in the early stages of the show. It was just terrifying and awful. I think the front part of the balcony fell down. It was complete chaos in the theatre. We got out with cuts and bruises. I think most people did.’ Nimax Theatres, which

owns the Apollo, described the collapse as a ‘shocking and upsetting incident’. Eight fire engines, 50 firefighters and 25 ambulances were called to the scene and the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, praised the quick response of the emergency

services on Twitter. Although performances at the Apollo have been cancelled until January 4, London mayor Boris Johnson also said the West End was “open for business” An investigation has been launched to discover why part of the roof collapsed.

Shoptastic!! nature, and was judged on creativity and photographic quality by a panel of experts, among them National Geographic Magazine Senior Photo Editor Susan Welchman and documentary photographers Stephanie Sinclair and Ed Kashi. First prize of $10,000 and a trip to National Geographic headquarters in Washington, DC, to take part in an annual photography seminar next month, went to Paul Souders, for his stunning shot of a polar bear in Manitoba, Canada. The winning print will also be published in National Geographic Magazine. Other outstanding prints got honorable mentions from the panel of judges, including an otherworldly image of egrets in a fog, a close-up of a rhino, and a stark image of a crow’s nest in Tokyo built entirely out of clothes hangers, which they steal from apartment buildings to make up for the lack of natural building materials in a metropolis mostly depleted of greenery.

ARGAIN hunters flocked to the UK high streets in their thousands for the Boxing day sales. Shopaholics started queuing before 7am to ensure they were first in line when the shops opened In Typical Harrods fashion, the London store kicked off its winter sale in style with mugs of hot chocolate, smoked salmon canapes and blankets to keep people warm in the queue, with entertainment provided by a string quartet and a street magician. However, Boxing Day sales Shopping habits are chang-

ing, according to analysts, as more consumers are shopping online. House of Fraser, Harvey Nichols, Debenhams and John Lewis all launched their sales online on Christmas Eve. James Murray, digital insight manager at Experian, said: “Christmas 2013 has consistently outperformed 2012 on virtually every single shopping day this December, with online visits from Christmas Eve through to Boxing Day up from last year, a record-breaking Cyber Monday and the emergence of the even busier Middle Cyber Monday. Shopping habits are changing, with Christmas Day becoming a significant shopping

day during the period.” Consumer expert Jasmine Birtles, said it’s an act of “desperation” that large brands are clamouring for Boxing Day sales: “I think it’s a mark of desperation that even the big names are going, ‘look, we’re on sale now, come and spend your money with us before you spend it anywhere else. Because I think the shops are very aware that people have limited budgets now and they want a piece of that budget before anyone else does.” Despite the change in shopping habits, today’s sales are still expected to bring in around £2.6 billion.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

jANUARY BoTh halves of the Korean Peninsula have been rivals for decades and fears of another Korean War are never far away. The North now possesses at least a few nuclear weapons and made headlines around the world when South Korean media reports claimed that North Korea has been placed under martial law with another nuclear test considered to be imminent. Despite the death of Osama bin Laden, the war in Afghanistan and neighboring North-West Pakistan still raged.. 24 militants were killed in clashes between the Tehrik-e-Taliban and Ansarul Islam in Pakistan near the border with Afghanistan, while a suicide bombing at a market in the Afghan city of Kunduz killed at least ten people and wounded up to twenty others. The Egyptian Revolution did not simply end with the fall of former president Mubarak. In fact, not many revolutions just end with one man’s deposition, two people were killed in clashes between protesters and police on the edge of Cairo’s Tahrir Square.

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2013 - A YEAR

FEBRUARY IN CENTRAL Russia, shock waves from a meteor—the largest recorded object encountered by Earth since 1908! The day after St. Valentine’s day, 15 February 2013, a meteor broke up in the vicinity of the city of Chelyabinsk, Russia, injuring more than 1,200 people, two of them seriously, from the shattering of windows caused by the shockwaves and the debris respectively.

The discovery of King Richard III’s skeleton under a parking lot is important to historians for giving us a sense of not only what happened to him (among other things he was apparently stabbed in the buttocks after death), but also for giving us a better idea of how he looked and as such whether William Shakespeare’s critical depiction as one of the most villainous kings in English history is accurate.

MARCh BENEdICT xVI’s time as pope came to a historic end, as he became the first pontiff in six centuries to resign.

APRIL AN EARThQUAKE of 7.8 hit the Iran-Pakistan border. At least forty people were killed. Later in the month, there were at least 32 people killed and more than 600 injured after magnitude 6.6 earthquake strikes China’s Sichuan province.

Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher died on Monday, 8 April 2013 at the age of 87, following a stroke.

On Tuesday, 12 March 2013, the 115 cardinals who selected the next pope took oaths of secrecy as they prepared to begin their discussions. Moving in solemn procession and chanting prayers as they walked, the cardinal-electors entered the Sistine Chapel. Once the election process began, the only clue the world would have of what happened inside were periodic puffs of smoke from a copper chimney installed on the chapel roof over the weekend. Black smoke meant no pope. White smoke equaled success. Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina was elected the next pope. He is the first non-European pope and the first pontiff from the Americas. The decision came after the fifth ballot cast by the 115 cardinals since the papal conclave began.

All the team at the

would like to wish all our readers and customers a very happy and prosperous New Year!

Boston Marathon was overshadowed by explosions, which sent smoke billowing into the air at Copley Square, turning a site of celebration into a mess of destruction leaving 3 dead and183 injured. Thirteen of them had limbs amputated. Two bombers, Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev were Islamic extremists. Tamerlan was shot dead during a police firefight; his brother was later hunted down and brought to justice.

MAY May’s Terrible Tornados!

At least six people were killed when a spring tornado outbreak devastated parts of North Texas. Worst of all were the deadly wave of tornadoes as the month drew to a close. At least three tornadoes touched down in two states on Sunday, 19 May 2013 as severe weather swept the region. The twisters swept through parts of Kansas, Oklahoma, and possibly Iowa and Missouri A second suspect in May’s slaying of a British soldier in London was charged Saturday, 1 June 2013 with murder. Michael Adebolajo, 28, also was charged with attempted murder of two police officers and possession of a firearm. The attackers killed Lee Rigby a couple of hundred yards away from the Royal Artillery Barracks in the southeast London district of Woolwich on 22 May 2013. Adebolajo and a second suspect, Michael Adebowale, 22, were hospitalized after the attack.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

R IN PICTURES jUNE SoPRANo’S actor james Gandolfini died suddenly while in Italy for a film festival, he was 51 years old. The local coroner’s report confirmed that Gandolfini died of a heart attack.

The National Security Agency’s data surveillance programs which caused global outrage “help us prevent terrorist attacks,” President Barack Obama claimed, he added that “modest encroachments on privacy that are involved in getting phone numbers or duration … without looking at content” are worth the result. “Nobody is listening to your telephone calls.” Edward Snowden, 29, the source who leaked material from the National Security Agency is a former technical assistant for the CIA and worked at the NSA for four years as an employee of various outside contractors. He disclosed the existence of PRISM, reporting that the program allows NSA analysts to extract details of customer activities — including “audio and video chats, photographs, e-mails, documents” and other materials — from computers at Microsoft, Google, Apple and other Internet firms.

jULY A TRAIN crash in north-western Spain killed at least 79 people and injured dozens more. The high-speed train had more than 200 passengers aboard and was travelling from Madrid to the town of Ferrol in northwest Spain. The driver was on a phone with railway staff when the train crashed, the superior tribunal of the Galicia region announced citing information from data recorders. The train was going 153 kilometres per hour (95 mph) when it derailed.

The Catholic Church will declare P o p e John Paul II a saint, the Vatican said on 5 July 2013. The Polish-born pope was fast-tracked to beatification when he died in 2005 and became “the blessed” six years later — the fastest beatification in centuries. Prince William’s wife Catherine gave birth to their first child. The baby is third in line to the British throne after Prince Charles and Prince William. He is the first grandchild of the late Princess Diana. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge named their son George Alexander Louis. He will be known as His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge.

AUGUST IN CAIRo, riot police raided protest camps, opened fire and used armored bulldozers, tear gas, snipers, and helicopters to clear the camps. Protesters threw rocks and burned tires in response. More than 500 people were killed, and the government declared a state of emergency

SEPTEMBER US PRESIdENT Barack obama put military action against Syria on hold and vowed to pursue diplomacy to remove the regime’s chemical weapons. Damascus admitted it has chemical weapons and has agreed to abide by a Russian plan to hand over its arsenal. The US had threatened strikes after a gas attack killed hundreds the previous month.

NoVEMBER ACToR Paul Walker was killed as the passenger in a one-car crash in Santa Clarita, north of Los Angeles.. Typhoon Haiyan, one of the strongest storms to ever make landfall, hits several islands in the central Philippines. Tacloban, a coastal city with a population of 220,000, is destroyed. Typhoon Yolanda affects 4.28 million people in at least 270 towns.

U.S. r e searchers success- f u l l y tested a vacc i n e for malaria. The vaccine i n - volves multiple, intravenous i n - jections of a weakened form of the disease. Although the results were promising, more extensive field testing will be required, the researchers wrote. The mosquitoborne tropical disease kills about 1 million people a year and sickens more than 200 million. There is no current vaccine.

oCToBER A 7.2 MAGNITUdE Earthq u a k e Strikes the Philippines (and kills at least 144 people.

Nearly 300 more are injured. The quake also destroys one of the country’s oldest churches and causes widespread damage

dECEMBER NELSoN Mandela dies After a lung infection and several months of ill health age 95.

The former president of South Africa is mourned all over the world.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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MARIAH SINGS FOR MURDEROUS DICTATOR

IVA Mariah Carey has outraged human rights groups by accepting a $1 million pay packet perform a two hour concert for authoritarian Angolan President josè Eduardo dos Santos, who, they claim has murdered many and exploited the country’s resources to his own gain.

This isn’t the first time the “All I want for Christmas is you” has been in hot water for this kind of poor judgement; five years ago Mariah apologized after performing for notorious dictator Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi and this June, Jennifer Lopez reportedly changed into a traditional Turkmen outfit during her June show and personally serenaded Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow - whose government is accused of

arbitrarily arresting and torturing political dissidents. Lopez sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to the repressive dictator of Turkmenistan’s brutal regime. At the concert Carey also posed for pictures with the controversial President and his family Human Rights Foundation president Thor Halvorssen said: ‘It is the sad spectacle of an international artist purchased by a ruthless

police state to entertain and whitewash the fatherdaughter kleptocracy that has amassed billions in illgotten wealth while the majority of Angola lives on less than $2 a day, Mariah Carey can’t seem to get enough dictator cash. Just five years ago she performed for the family of Libyan dictator Muammar al-Gaddafi. Now, she goes from private performances to public displays of support and credibility

for one of Africa’s chief human rights violators and most corrupt tyrants.’ Mariah’s show was sponsored by Unitel, a mobilephone company owned by Dos Santos’ daughter, Isabel, who is also head of the Angolan Red Cross, which reportedly received $65,000 in benefit funds from the concert. According to the Human Rights Foundation, the singer said: ‘I am happy to be here in

this room and I am honored to share this show with the President of Angola.’ Human Rights Watch ranks Turkmenistan as ‘among the most repressive in the world.’ They claim he has murdered many politicians, journalists and other people who have defied his orders, as well as monopolizing and exploiting oil and diamond resources and seizing control of almost all aspects of government power.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

entertainMent

By Marc Craig

2014 Is Almost Here! New Year Movie Preview

To celebrate the arrival of 2014, here are 20 things I can’t wait for..... And 14 that I’m really not all that fussed about! of course these are my personal opinions, but hopefully it will give you some idea about what’s in store at your local cinema. 1-2-3: Sequels to pretty good horror movies.

Woman in Black: Angels of Death looks decent and Paranormal Activity has not one but two sequels due out next year, get ready for more inventive ways to record the demonic comings and goings in this scary, low budget movie series. 1-2: Sequels to horrors that weren’t really that good in the first place. Do we really need more Amityville horror or Resident Evil 6?

9-10: New angles on classic horror characters with I Frankenstein and Dracula Untold. 6-7: Do we need new angles for Robocop and the Ninja Turtles? 11-12: Ultra realistic CGI animals from Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and biblical epic and Russell Crowe starrer Noah. 8: Lego Movie - sure, the computer games can be a bit of fun, but an entire movie with effects you can make yourself with a box of plastic bricks? 13: Can’t wait to meet the galaxy’s weirdest

9: But really not fussed about another out-

superheroes in Guardians of the Galaxy!

ing for the Toxic Avenger!

14: A long awaited TRUE sequel to a classic from another time, Dumb and Dumber To!!!

4-5-6: Twoquels for Captain America, The Amazing Spider-man and X-men First Class! 3: Transformers 4. With a whole new human cast but to be honest, I lost interest after the 2nd one. 7-8: After the recent lacklustre Conan remake, bringing Arnie back could bring the magic back too, and the 300 sidequel looks fun! 4-5: With 2 Hercules movies due for release too it may be sword and sandal over kill!

10: Not a sequel but a revamp but personally “Annie” with music by Jay Z sounds horrendous. Leave it in the past! 15: Denzel Washington replaces the late Edward Woodward as the big screen adaptation of The Equaliser! 11: Veronica Mars was given the chance of a big screen outing by fan funding, but having never watched the series, I can’t get excited. 16, 17, 18, 19: Godzilla, Interstellar, The Hobbit 3 and more Hunger Games, if you like an event movie, there’s plenty to choose from! 12-13: Even though one of its lead actors was tragically killed this month, Fast and Furious 7 hits cinemas next summer along with the game based racer Need for Speed. For me a car is just something that gets you from A to B, sorry, these aren’t for me. 20 & 14: So I’ll leave you with a joint excited/nervous one, 2014 takes me one year closer to Star Wars Episode 7! It looks to be in great hands, true fans who want to recreate the magic of the original trilogy, including the still unconfirmed

news that the original stars are back and director/ writer JJ Abrams grew up with the films, just like I did, surely with all this in mind they can’t screw it up - can they? Until next year, have a very happy New Year and May the Force be With You!

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Step Into The Void DECEMBER 2013

Friday 27th December . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Saturday 28th December . . . . . Saturday GALA Night Sunday 29th December . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Tuesday 31st December . . . . * New Years Eve Special

JANUARY 2014 Thursday 2nd January . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 3rd January . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Saturday 4th January . . . . . . . . Saturday GALA Night Sunday 5th January . . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 6th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 9th January . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 10th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Saturday 11th January . . . . . . . Saturday TITANIC Night Sunday 12th January . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 13th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 16th January . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 17th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Saturday 18th January . . . . . . . Saturday GALA Night Sunday 19th January . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 20th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 23rd January . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 24th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience Saturday 25th January . . . . . . . Saturday GALA Night Sunday 26th January . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 27th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 30th January . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 31st January . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience

FEBRUARY 2014 Saturday 1st February . . . . . . . . Saturday GALA Night Sunday 2nd February . . . . . . . . . ViVO Sunday Carvery Monday 3rd February . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 6th February . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 7th February . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted Experience * Discount vouchers are not accepted for these dates

A Box made from three layers of reinforced clear glass is the new tourist attraction in the Alps which challenges thrill-seekers to step into the abyss, and is definitely not for visitors with vertigo. Visitors are asked to wear slippers to stop the box, which is perched on the edge of a French mountain nearly 4,000m (13,123ft) above sea level, from getting scratched. The Grand Canyon, in Arizona, opened a similar attraction in 2007. ‘Step into the Void’ stands over a sheer drop of more than 1,000m and offers views of the European Union’s tallest mountain, Mont Blanc. The box can withstand winds of more than 137mph (220km/h) and is

made of three layers of tempered glass fixed to a support structure. Tourists must take two cable cars to reach the attraction at the top of the Aiguille du Midi mountain. Entry to the ‘void’ is included in the 55 euro (£46) return fare from Chamonix. The Skywalk juts out 21m (70ft) from a cliff edge and is 1,220m (4,000ft) above the canyon floor.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Sharples in Session By John Sharples

Back On Tv

ish Television for the first time in 16 years. I was surprised at the quality of TV programmes and in particular the amount of variety that was on the box.

I have finally got my bun into gear and

bought a Smart TV. I can now watch Brit-

I will not be watching “Britains got Nothing” or “Why Factor” or “I’m not a celebrity” or any other dross that drags the dregs even deeper each year for a one minute wonder. Strictly come dancing looks great. I managed to watch the final and I loved it. Bruce Forsyth is a personal favourite of mine and the John Bishop Christmas Show was real good old fashioned entertainment.

Bye Bye Car I bought a new Kangoo ten years ago. Sadly, my van that has taken me to shows all over the island is coming to the end of its life. On the good side how-

ever, the Spanish government are trying to increase sales of new vehicles to people who have old motors in a move to lower carbon emissions. I will be taking

advantage of this offer as it means that some new cars will cost less that 5,000 euros. The problem I now have is ..... what car should I buy? Time to go shopping!

I hope that you all have a fantastic New Year. I love partying, but I go out whenever I get the urge. I don’t need a national celebration to give me the push. I will be doing what I did last year on New Years Eve. I will shoot off to my home from our show at Vivo and

climb onto the roof of my house in La Orotava in time for midnight. Once the bells chime from the local church, the valley lights up in all directions with fireworks. It is like standing in the middle of the most amazing firework display in the world.

Last year, the noise was deafening and I got spooked after a while and climbed off the roof and watched from the garden. This year I am staying up there with my champagne until it is over, then bed, when I wake up I will be another year older! Have a wonderful 2014 everybody and if you get the urge for a party night come and see Barry and I at Vivo. XX

FIVE THINGS WE DIDN’T KNOW LAST YEAR

A major survey by “Crap Towns” showed that the most hated city in the UK is London. I completely agree with that! I have never liked London. It makes me feel so insignificant. I remember going out one night in London and the crowds were terrifying. There were people on each other’s shoulders looking for their friends. City life certainly isn’t for me, but the English capital is top of my hate list.

False Widow spiders are about as dangerous as eating a peanut. There was a fever about them this year and the experts spent their time and energy trying to calm people down. How on earth the fever started, I suppose that the press have to keep finding something new to talk about. Elephants can cry. A newborn baby elephant was rejected by its mother and it cried for 5 hours. Eventually it was adopted by a human being and it is now a very happy elephant ..... its adopted parent is probably looking for new premises. Why do people assume that animals don’t have feelings? Would it really hurt us so much to be kind to animals? I know that many of us eat

them, but we could give them better conditions to live in and be a little more humane. This Christmas I went shopping in one of the big Spanish supermarkets where live lobsters had had their claws cut off and were wondering about on a metal sheet. I couldn’t possibly throw it into a pot of boiling water. Barbaric! Jean Claude Van Damme has still got it going on! He did the sideways splits across two moving lorries this year in a sponsored stunt. The Belgian superstar surprised even himself as he carried out the daring stunt. Probably every politician in the world is not to be trusted. With news that Obama was spying on Angela Merkel, the world finally realised that there is more truth to the old joke than ever thought before.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

My Bad Year I had a hell of a year this year. My lovely friend died and I had a number of personal problems that just wouldn’t go away. It looks like the bad times are now around the corner and my Annus Horibilis

is over. If I had owned a castle it would have burned down.

Let’s hope that 2014 sees a real end to the misery of high unemployment but be ready for prices to rise even faster when people have money in their pockets again.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Angels Are Real (But Wingless) A

NGELS really do exist but do not have wings and are more like shards of light, according to a church official. Catholic Church “angelologist” Father Renzo Lavatori says the celestial beings are fashionable again, due mainly to various New Age religions, but although they are ‘back in fashion’, their popular portrayal as barechested cherubs with wings is inaccurate.

Speaking at a conference on angels at Rome’s Palazzo della Cancelleria ,a lavishlyfrescoed Renaissance palace in Rome, he said: “I think there is a re-

Question one: The name of which Italian amorist has become synonymous with overt sexual promiscuity?

Question Two: What are the first three letters of the Greek alphabet? Question Three: What is the collective noun for a group of bears? Question Four: Who said “The scouts’ motto is founded on my initials”? Question Five: Name the fallen Australian entrepreneur convicted in 1996 of fraud involving expensive modern paintings? Question Six: Oscar Wilde’s downfall began when he sued which aristocrat, father of his friend Lord Alfred Douglas?

Question Seven: Which is the odd one out: Cape Town, Milan, New York, Paris, St Petersburg, Shanghai, Sydney, Rio de Janeiro?

Question Eight: Name one of the two female sex hormones? Question Nine: How many weeks does it take for a foetus to fully develop in the womb? Question Ten: Which Egyptian god associated with fertility later became Supreme God and King of the Underworld? Question Eleven: What is the Sixth Commandment?

discovery of angels in Christianity, You do not see angels so much as feel their presence they are a bit like sunlight that refracts on you through a crystal vase,” he added. He was also dismissive of all the angel art around Christmas: “There is space for that, but you have to understand that these are not real representations. Angels do not have wings or look like cherubs,” he said. Art historian Professor Valerio Massimo Manfredi said the first mention of the word “angelos” came from the Mycenaean civilisation in Greece more than 3,000 years ago. The word means “messenger” in ancient Greek Monsignor Giovanni Tonucci, head of the Loreto Marian sanctuary, said that angels were “pure souls” whose lack of form had allowed artists through the ages to let their imagi-

nation create the iconic winged beings. The conference organisers said: “Following the cultural history of angels is following the history of humanity, or at least of our civilisation. Angels have helped drive religious and philosophical thought and have given birth to sublime forms of poetic and artistic expression,” Father Lavatori , who is also a “demonologist”, says angels are more needed than ever because increasing secularisation and materialism in society have left an “open door” for the devil: “There is a lot more interference from diabolical forces. That is why you see queues of people outside the exorcists’ offices in churches, Pope Francis talks more about the devil than about angels and I think rightly so. But it’s still early, he will get round to the angels too.”

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

gardening and Nature By Steve Andrews - aka Green Bard

The Good, Bad and the Ugly Weeds of Tenerife

ow that the island has had plenty of rain everything has started to grow and besides the garden flowers and shrubs we want there are weeds springing up everywhere, even in cracks in roads and pathways. I have written about these plants before but am doing so again because this is the best time of year for finding them. A weed is really just the name for a plant that we consider to be growing in the wrong place. In actuality many weeds are edible or have medicinal properties. Some can be eaten and used as herbs. But some weeds are very poisonous too. The Devil’s weed or thorn-apple (Datura stramonium) is known as “Hierba del Diablo” in Spanish and it is well-named because it is a very dangerous plant from the nightshade family or Solanaceae. Fortunately it is very easy to recognise because it has white funnel-shaped flowers that turn into green spiky seed-pods and the whole plant stinks if lightly bruised. Thorn-apple has very toxic alkaloids in it such as scopolamine and atropine. It grows all over the island and can be seen along roadsides, on waste ground and will come up in gardens and other cultivated land. It is a weed that should never be eaten though it does have its uses and has been employed in herbal medicine to treat asthma and travel sickness, but only in minute doses. The thorn-apple is also a foodplant for the massive caterpillars of the death’s head hawk moth (Acherontia atropos). These lar-

Caster Oil Plant

Goosegrass vae can be yellow or green with striped sides and grow as big as a man’s thumb. There is a brown form too but it isn’t striped. The death’s head hawk moth gets its name because of the curious skull-like marking on its thorax. Another very poisonous weed is the castor oil plant (Ricinus communis). One seed or bean from this very common plant is enough to kill a human because it contains ricine, which is one of the most poisonous toxins known that can be derived from plants. The castor oil plant can reach several metres in height and is actually very attractive with its palmate leaves and interesting looking flowering heads. It has a bronze and a reddish form as well as the normal green variety and is grown as a garden plant for the flower border in some parts of the world. On Tenerife it springs up all over the place and is an invasive weed. Besides these very poisonous weeds though there are many

Chickweed

Wild Beet plants that are good to eat. Wild beet (Beta procumbens) is an an-

Epazotte

cestor of the beetroots we cultivate today, as is the very similar B. patellaris. Although it doesn’t produce a swollen edible root it does have plenty of leaves that can be cooked like spinach. These plants produce large straggling masses of leaves and stems and are very common, especially in coastal districts. The wild beets can be found very easily after the late autumn rains and grow on cultivated land and waste ground. Goosegrass (Galium aperine) is a weed we may well remember from back in Britain where it is also very common. Children delight in playing with this plant because if you throw it at your friend it will stick on their clothes with the aid of very minute hooks. Goosegrass likes to climb over anything it can find to support its straggling stems but it will also grow over the ground. It can be cooked as greens and the tiny rounded seeds can be dried, roasted and made into a coffee substitute. The chickweed (Stellaria media) is another very common weed that likes to grow after the

ground has been given a good soaking. It is often found in gardens and along paths. Chickweed has tiny white star-like flowers and small leaves. The whole plant is edible and delicious and can be eaten raw in salads. Chickweed is an edible plant that is also a herb and has been used as a treatment for skin conditions. The white goosefoot or fathen (Chenopodium album) is another common weed that is good cooked as greens and tastes a lot like spinach. It should be eaten in moderation though because it has a high oxalic acid content which is not good for people who may from arthritis. Many other plants in this genus are edible too. One of the bestknown is the quinoa (C. quinoa). Another plant in the Chenopodium genus is wormseed (C. ambrosioides). In Spanish it is known as “epazote.” It has a very strong aroma and flavour that has been described as “like turpentine.” Although it has been used in Mexican cookery it is best avoided because it can be toxic and as its name suggests it is used for expelling internal worms.

Death´s Head Moth Caterpillar

Datura Stamonium

Uses for Epazote or Wormseed

Although wormseed is not recommended for domestic use unless under the supervision of a practitioner in herbal medicine, the plant has many uses. In the early 1900s it was very of-

ten used to expel internal worms in humans and animals. The oil of the herb was utilised and known as “Baltimore Oil” referring to where a lot of it was made. It has been used to treat dysmenorrhoea, chorea and malaria. Wormseed has been grown as a

“companion plant” in gardens and is thought to help protect other plants from pests. In Mexico it is used sparingly as flavouring and is included in dishes made of beans because it is thought to be a remedy for the flatulence they can cause.

Also known as the Bard of Ely, the Green Bard has a Green Beard, as can be seen in the photo. He is an expert on nature and loves to write about wildlife and conservation. He has a very wide knowledge of edible plants, foraging and herbs.

He was quoted as a “Weed expert” in The Ecologist. The Green Bard, though originally from Cardiff in Wales, is currently based in Tenerife where he has successfully reared many Monarch butterflies on plants grown on his apartment balcony. In May, 2012, at the English Library in Puerto de la Cruz he gave a talk on the Flora and Fauna of Tenerife to a full house and has been invited back to be a guest speaker again.

Keep up to date with him at: http://greenbard.hubpages.com/

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Aquarius 20 January to 18 February

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Peru Two Get Six Years

Don’t try to impress an associate on Monday. This person needs to accept the real you. You’ll be filled with motivation when your ruler Uranus turns direct on Tuesday. Get ready to set the world on fire! You’ll need to obtain expert fiscal guidance on Friday. Take a seminar and learn how to make your money grow. An adversary will extend the hand of friendship on Sunday. Think about forgetting old grudges and make nice with your former foe.

Pisces 19 February to 20 March

Broaden your horizons on Monday. Consider all of the possibilities that life holds. You’ll be feeling impulsive on Wednesday. Think before you dash out the front door and leave the house keys behind. A loved one may try to dictate your behavior when the Moon is quincunx Neptune in Pisces on Friday. Don’t let others tell you how to live your life. A close friend will give you moral support on Saturday. This person has your back!

Aries 21 March to 19 April

A relative might make unreasonable demands on you on Monday. Don’t let this person use emotional blackmail to get his or her way. Update your wardrobe when Uranus turns direct in your sector of self on Tuesday. Donate any unwanted clothing to charity. A former employer will contact you on Saturday. You could be offered your old job back. Take up a new sport on Sunday. You’ll have fun and burn calories at the same time!

Taurus 20 April to 20 May

A financial endeavor may lose money on Tuesday. It might be time to pull your capital out of this venture. Concentration will be difficult for you to achieve on Wednesday. Try to focus, especially while driving. You’ll be in a reflective mood when your ruler Venus turns retrograde on Saturday. Take stock of your lifestyle and make any necessary changes. Home repairs might be needed on Sunday. Have a hammer and nails handy this weekend.

Gemini 21 May to 21 June

You’ll engage in wishful thinking on Monday, but a certain matter may not turn out the way you hope. Keep a lid on your temper during the Full Moon in Gemini on Tuesday. You’ll regret it later if you vent your frustration on loved ones. You’ll have the Midas touch on Thursday. A moneymaking scheme might make you oodles of cash! A lover may talk commitment on Saturday. Consider how you really feel about the relationship before saying yes.

Cancer 22 June to 22 July

The boss will hand you a difficult assignment on Monday. Be prepared to work overtime to finish the job. Make the world a better place on Tuesday. Do an act of kindness for someone you know. Positive vibrations will surround you when the Moon conjuncts Jupiter in Cancer on Thursday. All of your endeavors will be successful! Search for solitude on Sunday. Find a quiet nook in the house where you can recharge your mental and emotional batteries.

Leo 23 July to 22 August

An unhealthy friendship may end on Tuesday. Strive to form relationships with folks who are worthy of your time. Bring some excitement to your life when the Moon in Leo trines Uranus on Friday. Think about going on an adventure with a loved one! Pamper yourself on Saturday. Get a massage, soak in a warm tub, or indulge in an ice cream sundae. Your brainpower will kick up a notch on Sunday. You’ll finally resolve a very perplexing problem this weekend.

Virgo 23 August to 22 September

You may question your religious beliefs when your ruler Mercury is quincunx Jupiter on Monday. It’s time to find the spiritual path that suits you best. You’ll interact with someone in authority on Tuesday. This person has a big ego, so be extremely respectful. Use discretion when talking to a friend on Friday. Any secrets that you reveal will be blabbed to others! Call on your industrious side on Sunday. A project will require more effort than you first thought.

Libra 23 September to 23 October

Choose your words with care on Monday. A colleague may take offense if you use language that’s too blunt. Your life partner will be in an upbeat mood on Tuesday. This person’s cheerfulness will rub off on you! Let the good times roll on Friday. Blow off steam by hitting the hot spots in town. The opportunity to relocate may emerge when Venus turns retrograde in your home zone on Saturday. Visit any potential new town before calling the moving van.

Scorpio 24 October to 21 November

Frustration will be the name of your game on Monday. Remember to laugh when life doesn’t flow smoothly. Take steps to improve your personal well-being on Tuesday. Think about boosting your nutritional needs by taking vitamin supplements. You’ll discover your true purpose in life when the Moon trines Saturn in Scorpio on Thursday. Get ready to walk in the right direction. Hold a family reunion on Saturday. Let the people you love know just how much you really care.

Sagittarius 22 November to 21 December

Set realistic goals on Monday. Don’t put the bar so high that you can’t jump over it. You’ll bump heads with a loved one when the Moon opposes the Sun in Sagittarius on Tuesday. Don’t forget that relationships consist of give and take. Read through your insurance policies on Thursday. You may be paying for services that you don’t want or need. You’ll be asked to join a community activity on Sunday. Participation will raise your status in the neighborhood.

Capricorn 22 december to 19 january

You’ll feel stressed out on Monday. Call a friend and talk over your worries. Make your own decisions on Wednesday. It isn’t wise to follow the opinions of the crowd. You’ll radiate an alluring aura when the Sun enters Capricorn on Saturday. It’s a great time to mingle with others. A lover will shower you with affection on Sunday. If you’re single, someone special may come into your life. This person could be your soul mate!

A CoURT in Peru has sentenced an Irish and a British woman, Michaella Connolly, and Melissa Reid, both 20, to six years and eight months prison each for trafficking cocaine. They were arrested last August in Lima international airport when cocaine was found stashed in packages of cereal in the belongings of both young women as they were trying to leave for Spain.

The pair pleaded guilty in September to attempting to smuggle out of Peru just over 11 kilos of cocaine with an estimated value of 1.7 million Euros They initially denied guilt, claiming they were kidnapped on the Spanish holiday island of Ibiza and forced to carry the drugs by an international cartel who threatened the lives of the girls and their family, however they later changed their story, saying they “knew they were going to transport drugs, and that they regret having participated in such an act.” The Callao court that heard their case said their sentence had been reduced from eight years to six years and eight months under a plea bargain with prosecutors. They were also fined 10,000 soles (about $4,000) each, and ordered to perform 280 days of community service. The prosecutors had insisted that as part of the plea bargain the women explain the smuggling scheme in detail, naming others in the organization they worked with. Prosecutor Juan Mendoza said: “Prosecutors do not believe that they alone took a plane from Spain to Peru, bought drugs and then tried to go back to Europe. They have got to give details about the members of the group they worked with.”

The girls made news headlines as they had initially been reported missing in Spain in July. A major media and online campaign was launched to find the two young women, amid fears that they might have been kidnapped, until news emerged of their arrest in Peru, the women told British reporters they had been kidnapped by a drug cartel, taken to Peru and forced to transport drugs, but Peruvian authorities did not believe the story. Peru, along with Colombia and Bolivia, is one of the world’s biggest producers of cocaine. In the past two years 248 foreigners acting as “drug mules” have been arrested at Lima’s international airport, amongst them, 50 foreign women have been convicted and are serving time in a newly-built prison in Peru for attempting to transport drugs. Earlier this year, the Peru-

vian police broke up a ring of drug carriers led by Philip Austin Collins, a nephew of British singer Phil Collins. Authorities suspect that the two women may have been part of the same smuggling network. Most of the cocaine coming out of the country is destined for the United States, where a kilo of the drug sells for $30,000. Cocaine is even pricier in Europe, selling for $45,000 a kilogram, and in Asia, where it goes for up to $110,000. Peruvian police say mules are paid between $5,000 and $7,000 to carry drugs from Peru to Spain. Johnny Bravo, the head of the Peruvian anti-drug agency’s unit at the Lima International Airport said: “Most of those detained for drug trafficking are Europeans, especially Spaniards. We suppose it’s because of the economic crisis hitting the country.”

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pugh´S pantrY By Barry pugh

HONEY SOY CHICKEN BREASTS I love to share easy no fuss food, which takes very little prep time and is tasty and affordable. This one takes just a few minutes to prepare a 5 ingredient marinade in the morning or

the previous evening to have this chicken ready to pop into the oven when you arrive home from work. It only takes about 45 minutes open roasting time for the chicken breasts to become sticky; more than enough time to

Ingredients:

3 tbsp. honey 4 tbsp.Light soy sauce 1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper 4 cloves minced garlic

throw together a great salad (I have shared a lovely farmers market salad with you at the bottom!), steam rice or prepare your favourite noodles. If serving with noodles or rice, I recommend doubling the marinade/sauce recipe.

1 tbsp.finely grated fresh ginger root 4 large chicken breasts (skinless) or chicken thighs with skin removed

Method:

Stir together all the ingredients except the chicken breasts and pour into a large zip able bag. Add the chicken breasts and marinate in the fridge for a couple of hours or overnight. Place the marinated chicken breasts on an aluminium foil lined baking tray and bake at 180°C, uncovered, for about 45 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked. Do not throw out the marinade. While the chicken is cooking simmer it over low heat and brush it on the chicken about every 10 minutes as it cooks.

LIGHTLY SEASONED GOATS CHEESE FARMERS SALAD: Goat cheese rounds

2 tbsp. sesame seeds 2 tsps. ground cumin 1 1/2 tsps. Sweet paprika 1 tsp. finely chopped fresh thyme 1/4 tsp. salt Pinch black pepper 16 thick slices chilled soft

Ingredients:

fresh goat cheese

1 kilo baby new potatoes (halved) ½ kilo green beans halved 1 bag mixed salad greens 25g small fresh basil leaves 500g assorted small tomatoes (such as cherry, grape etc.) 50g black olives

2 tbsp. red wine vinegar 1 shallot, minced 1 tsp. chopped fresh thyme 1 tsp. Dijon mustard 5 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil Pinch salt

Line baking sheet with baking paper. Mix first 6 ingredients in shallow bowl. Dip the cut slices of goat’s cheese rounds into seasoning mixture to coat. Place on prepared baking sheet. Chill until ready to serve. You can do this 1 day before you need them. Cover and chill. Bring to room temperature before serving.

Combine greens and basil in large bowl. Add enough vinaigrette to coat lightly; toss. Arrange on large

Salad

Vinaigrette

Method:

For goat cheese rounds:

37 Barry Sparkle´s Bit On The Side

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Method:

Whisk first 4 ingredients in small bowl. Gradually whisk in olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. You can make this 1 day before as well. Cover and refrigerate. Rewhisk before using.

Boil potatoes until just tender, about 10 minutes. Transfer to plate; cool. Steam green beans until crisp-tender, about 5 minutes. Rinse under cold water, drain. Pat dry with paper towels. Wrap separately in paper towels. Place in resealable plastic bag; chill.

For vinaigrette:

platter. Add potatoes and green beans to same large bowl, add remaining dressing and toss. Arrange po-

For salad:

tatoes and beans atop greens. Scatter tomatoes and olives over. Surround with goat cheese rounds.

Hello Sparklettes !! W

ELL I hope you enjoyed the premiere of my gossip column last week, the response has been amazing and thank you to everyone who commented on it.

Now… you ready for some more ?? So I see Mariah Carey is showing it all again, she was spotted in a red robe and skimpy red bikini, in Aspen of all places! Her “you know what’s” must have been like fighter pilots thumbs! Now I’m not saying she hasn’t got an amazing body, she has… but Mariah, I preferred you in your classy black dress days, not the let it all hang out Vegas showgirl thing you’ve got going these days, put ‘em away love please!! Last week I had some juicy gossip about a couple of Har-

rys, Potter and Styles... This week, here’s a bit more local Harry based news... It seems The Only Way Is Tenerife for one of our new residents, Harry from TOWIEs ex, he can now be found working at Sparkle Reef…oops I mean Sugar Reef…sorry, slip of the tongue !! Of course TOWIE isn’t the only top UK Telly programme with connections to Tenerife, for those of you who don’t know - our beautiful home is also the real location of the fictional island of Fernando as featured on ITV’s Take Me Out! It’s filming again soon, so keep your eyes peeled for Paddy McGuiness and his 30 sparklettes !! Have a great New Year, but be safe, fresh and funky... I’m watching !! ‘Til next week... Keeeep sparkling!

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Commonyms

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a commonym you ask?

A commonyms is group of words that have a common trait in the three words/items listed. For example: the words; A car - A tree - An elephant.. they all have trunks. These will make you think! 1. Loan - Pool - Great White_______________________________________________ 2.Clog - Pump - Flat_______________________________________________________ 3. Rain - Fur - Trench______________________________________________________ 4. Silver - Tin - Nickel _____________________________________________________ 5. Coffee - Oil - Air________________________________________________________ 6. Tulip - Lamp - Onion____________________________________________________ 7. Saturn - Dirty Shirt Collars - Newleyweds _______________________________ 8. Date - Cook - Phone_______________________________________________________________________ 9. Spock - Suess - Phil________________________________________________________________________ 10. Fire - Soda - Safe_________________________________________________________________________ 11. Olive - Orange - Fig_______________________________________________________________________ 12. Doors - Paintings - Eye Glasses____________________________________________________________ 13. Picnic - Pool - Coffee ____________________________________________________________________ 14. Rose - Potato - Taste_____________________________________________________________________ 15. The Olympics - Leap Year - Presidential Elections_________________________________________

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Issue 109 - PUZZLES Page 8. Page 16. Page 34. Page 56.

Cryptic Crossword Sudoku Pub Quiz Quick Crossword

Answers to the COMMONYMS are on page 2.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Motoring neWS o

n december 20, 2013, the end came for the longest continuous automotive production of any vehicle, anywhere in the world.

After 63 years VW has closed down the old-fashioned Kombi production line on the outskirts of São Paulo in Brazil, bringing to an end one of motoring’s greatest stories - for now But it’s not a slowdown in sales that is finally concluding this 63-year-old story. Rather, it is the introduction of safety legislation in South America, which means that from January 1 all vehicles must be fitted with ABS anti-lock brakes and driver and passenger airbags. Jochen Funk, director of sales for Volkswagen Brazil, explained: “The Kombi was designed 60

By lingy

years ago so it would not be possible now to put an airbag and ABS into the car. That’s why we now have to stop production.” Out of a total workforce of 13,600 at Volkwagen’s Anchieta plant, 700 currently build the Kombi with much of it, including applying the paint, still carried out by hand, rather than robot. That it is still relevant today also proves just how pioneering the original concept was. In 1949 the first VW van, nicknamed the Bulli (or workhorse), but it has been called Transporter, Camper, Bus, Type 2 and many more, made its debut at the Geneva motor show, with full production commencing a year later. More than 3.5 million Kombis have been sold around the world, and 1.5 million of those were built in Brazil, where it is still the sixth best-selling light com-

mercial vehicle, with customers being able to choose either a van or a nine-seater minibus. In order to bid the Kombi farewell, VW has built a run of 1,200 Last Edition models, aimed at collectors. At the equivalent of about £22,000 it costs almost twice as much as a basic Kombi, and features design elements inspired by past models, such as two-tone paintwork, whitewall tyres and a fabulous striped vinyl interior. It even has a nod to the modern world, with a radio fitted as standard. “This is a product that goes beyond being just a product,” says Funk, with an affection you can’t imagine being applied to a modern day Golf. “It is the Old Lady Kombi.” At a time when the typical product lifecycle of a car is no more than eight years, it still seems inconceivable that the Old Lady has endured this long. But Guido Mantega, Brazil’s finance minister, has added a final twist to the tale, with an investigation as to whether an exemption from the safety legislation can be made for the Kombi, based on the fact that its original design didn’t allow room for such features. Whichever way the decision goes, this little old van’s reputation is secure, as truly one of the most memorable vehicles ever created.

Is It A Bus? Is It A Smart TV? No, It’s Both!

EET Willie, a new bus concept made up of transparent LCd screens that allows videos to be projected on its panels without obscuring its passengers’ view of the outside world. Dreamed up by designer Tad Orlowski, Willie can be used for tourist information and advertising. Orlowski says: “The city bus can be transformed into a mobile billboard displaying advertisements or film clips or provide passengers with additional information and en-

tertainment such as route plans, weather reports, press and TV coverage as well as tourist information.” It looks amazing on the promotional video I watched, and that’s the problem, it looks so damn amazing, it’s hard not to imagine a plethora of accidents once these hit the busy high streets, especially when the latest Victoria’s Secret commercial gets played as the local football stadium car park empties out!! Saying that, it would be an excellent way to screen classic bus with a bomb on board movie “Speed”, wouldn’t it?

END OF THE ROAD FOR THE VW CAMPER

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

27 D e c e m b e r

Friday - TV 06:00: 08:20: 09:50: 11:25: 13:00: 13:10: 13:25: 13:55: 14:35: 16:10: 17:40: 17:55: 18:05: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:15: 22:20: 23:00: 23:45: 00:45:

06:00: 07:00: 07:30: 08:25: 09:30: 11:40: 12:40: 14:20: 16:15: 18:15:

21:00: 23:55: 00:55: 01:55:

Breakfast Match of the Day 102 Dalmatians Bedtime Stories BBC News at One BBC London News Open All Hours: A Celebration Len Goodman’s Perfect Christmas Enchanted Megamind BBC News BBC London News Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull EastEnders Miranda Death Comes to Pemberley BBC News at Ten BBC London News Mrs. Brown’s Boys Not Going Out John Bishop’s Christmas Show The Lonely Guy

Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! The Only Way is Essexmas What a Girl Wants Emmerdale Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties Horrid Henry: The Movie Casper Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith The Shawshank Redemption Celebrity Juice Through the Keyhole Utterly Outrageous RealityTV Moments 2013

06:00: 06:30: 07:30: 08:30:

09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 14:50: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00:

22:00: 00:15: 01:15:

06:00: 06:50: 09:05: 11:00: 13:00: 15:10: 17:00: 18:55: 21:00:

22:00: 23:00: 00:05:

This is BBC Two Natural World Great Continental Railway Journeys Africa 2013: Countdown to the Rains Africa Earthflight War and Peace How the West Was Won Flog It! Celebrity Eggheads The Choir Christmas Final University Challenge Idris Elba: King of Speed Ben and James Versus the Arabian Desert Cast Away Ambassadors The Mummy

Agatha Christie’s Poirot Santa Claus Carry on at Your Convenience Agatha Christie’s Marple Agatha Christie’s Marple Carry on Loving Carry on Don’t Lose Your Head Agatha Christie’s Poirot By Royal Appointment Documentary, which offers an exclusive glimpse into the world of official suppliers to the royal family. The programme shines a light on the talented craftsmen and women who all hold warrants as official suppliers to the royal family. Wycliffe Law and Order: UK Ten Little Indians

7:55: 08:10: 08:25: 09:25: 10:25: 11:25: 13:25: 13:40: 15:45: 16:45: 18:35: 18:45: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 21:35: 23:20: 23:35: 00:25:

06:00: 06:50: 07:40: 08:05: 09:10: 10:15: 12:15: 13:20: 15:30: 18:10: 20:00: 21:00:

23:45: 01:55:

Bottom Knocker Street Bottom Knocker Street Dinner Date Murder, She Wrote Dickinson’s Real Deal Batteries Not Included ITV News Step Up The Chase Downton Abbey ITV News London ITV News Emmerdale Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! Coronation Street Vicious Bridget Jones’s Diary ITV News The Cube Jackpot247

07:30: 08:20:

Will and Grace A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures 10:00: The Big Bang Theory 10:55: The Simpsons 11:55: Aliens in the Attic 13:35: Doctor Dolittle 15:15: Deal or No Deal 16:15: Come Dine with Me 17:20: The Simpsons 17:50: Hollyoaks 18:20: Hollyoaks 18:50: Channel 4 News 19:00: 4thought.tv 19:05: Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 20:00: Celebrity Come Dine with Me 21:00: The Inbetweeners Movie 22:55: Queer as Pop: From the Gay Scene to the Mainstream 23:55: Chic 00:55: Kylie Minogue: Showgirl Live at Earls Court

The Saint Minder Cheers Kojak The Sweeney Classic TT 2013 Magnum, P.I. Billion Dollar Brain The Manchurian Candidate Night Passage Duck Dynasty The Matrix Keanu Reeves plays Neo, a computer hacker who discovers that the world around him is a computer simulation called the Matrix. He learns this from Morpheus, who also tells him that the Matrix uses humans as fuel for it’s quest of total world domination. Children of Men Sports Mash: Taking the Mic

06:00: 07:00: 07:10: 07:35: 08:00: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:40: 17:20: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:40: 00:20: 01:00:

Home Shopping Carpool Megatruckers Megatruckers Red Bull Soapbox Race Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Megatruckers Megatruckers Red Bull Soapbox Race Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI QI Top Gear Man v Food Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Mock the Week QI QI QI XL

06:00 08:25: 08:35: 08:45: 08:55: 09:15: 09:30: 09:45: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:50: 16:10: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 21:30: 22:00: 23:05: 00:15:

06:00:

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc The Mr. Men Show Mist: Sheepdog Tales World’s Strongest Man 2013 Eddie Stobart’s Christmas Cracker 633 Squadron Zulu Dawn Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Eddie Stobart: Christmas Delivery World’s Strongest Man 2013 Mr. Bean Mr. Bean Tommy Cooper’s Christmas The Plank Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans 07:00: Good Morning Sports Fans 08:00: Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00: Game Changers 09:15: Football Gold 09:30: Premier League 100 Club: Henry 10:00: Premier League 100 Club: Fowler 10:30: Soccer Extra -Football Special 12:30: World Darts Championship 16:30: Darts Gold 16:45: Darts Gold 17:00: Ronaldo 17:30: Fantasy Football Club Xmas Special 19:00: World Darts Championship 23:00: FL72 00:00: Fantasy Football Club Xmas Special 01:30: World Darts Championship

19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:50: 23:20: 23:40: 00:05: 00:30: 00:50: 01:35:

Great Movie Mistakes 2013 The Call Centre Con Air EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad Bluestone 42

11:00: 13:30: 15:55: 18:15: 21:00:

The Parent Trap White Christmas Hairspray Transformers Predators Adrien Brody, Alice Braga and Topher Grace star in this well-received addition to the Predator sci-fi action-adventure franchise. 23:10: Secretary 01:20: Vanishing Point

06:00: 07:30: 08:30: 16:00: 17:00:

18:00: 19:00:

20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00:

The Ashes Ashes Breakfast Cricket The Ashes Highlights FL72 Review Simon Thomas is joined by guests to preview the weekend’s Sky Bet Football League games The Ashes Highlights Cricket South Africa v India 2nd Test D2 (Durban) Highlights. Day two of the second test between South Africa and India from Sahara Stadium Kingsmead. The Ashes Highlights The Ashes Verdict Ashes Modern Classics Ashes Extra The Ashes

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

S a t u r d ay - T V 06:00: 10:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:45: 13:00: 13:15: 14:15: 15:15: 16:30: 17:10: 17:20: 17:30: 18:00: 18:50: 20:15: 21:00: 22:00: 22:10: 22:30: 23:50: 01:30: 01:35:

06:00: 06:10: 09:15: 12:40: 13:10: 14:15: 15:45:

18:30: 21:00: 23:10: 23:50: 00:25: 00:55: 01:25: 01:50:

Breakfast Saturday Kitchen Nigel Slater’s New Year Suppers Football Focus Saturday Sportsday BBC News F1 2013 - A Record Breaking Year Bargain Hunt Call the Midwife Final Score BBC News BBC London News Celebrity Mastermind Pointless Up Atlantis Death Comes to Pemberley The National Lottery Live BBC News Match of the Day Rogue Weatherview BBC News

The Hot Desk Coronation Street Omnibus Emmerdale Omnibus You’ve Been Framed! Peter Andre: My Life at Christmas The ITV2 Panto Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope The Bourne Supremacy Celebrity Juice Plebs Plebs Plebs Plebs Plebs

06:00: This is BBC Two 06:40: Natural World 07:40: Antiques Road Trip 08:40: Antiques Road Trip 09:40: Africa 10:40: Ice Princess 12:10: Revenge of the Bridesmaids 13:35: The Accidental Husband 15:00: Ben and James Versus the Arabian Desert 16:00: Flog It! 17:00: The Guns of Navarone 19:30: Dad’s Army 20:00: 100 Years of the Palladium 21:00: I Am Number Four 22:40: Charlie Brooker’s 2013 Wipe 23:40: Ambassadors 00:40: The Curse of Frankenstein 02:00: Natural World

06:00: 06:20: 07:20: 09:10: 11:00: 13:00: 14:50: 16:50: 19:00:

21:00: 23:00: 01:05:

Judge Judy The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes The Turn of the Screw Carry on Don’t Lose Your Head Carry on Cowboy Carry on Camping Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Marple Agatha Christie’s Poirot Poirot arrives in Dover to help Lieutenant Colin Race determine if Sheila Webb is responsible for the murder of a middle-aged man found stabbed at 19 Wilbraham Crescent. Lewis A Touch of Frost Steptoe and Son

28 December th

08:30: 09:00: 09:25: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 11:35: 12:35: 14:35: 16:05: 16:35: 17:35: 17:45: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:15: 22:30: 01:00:

06:00: 06:10: 06:35: 07:00: 07:20: 08:20: 09:20: 10:25: 13:10: 15:25: 15:50: 16:20: 16:50: 17:20:

20:00: 22:35: 01:00:

Victorious Deadtime Stories ITV News The Home of Fabulous Cakes Murder, She Wrote ITV News and Weather Dinner Date Midsomer Murders The One and Only Cilla Off Their Rockers Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs ITV News London ITV News and Weather The Chase: Celebrity Special All Star Family Fortunes The Cube The Jonathan Ross Show ITV News and Weather The Holiday Jackpot247

Movies Now Cheers Cheers Highway Patrol Magnum, P.I. Bundesliga Goodwood Festival of Speed 2013 All Quiet on the Western Front Billion Dollar Brain Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Nevada Smith Western drama taken from Harold Robbins’s ‘The Carpetbaggers’, about a young man who sets out to find the men who murdered his parents. Cool Hand Luke Blade House of the Dead

08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 15:35: 16:00: 16:35: 17:05: 17:40: 18:00: 19:00: 21:00: 23:05: 23:35: 00:05: 00:35:

The Morning Line The American Football Show Frasier Frasier Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Channel 4 Racing Celebrity Come Dine with Me Celebrity Come Dine with Me Celebrity Come Dine with Me Celebrity Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces The Italian Job The 50 Funniest Moments of 2013 The Inbetweeners The Inbetweeners The Inbetweeners The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

06:00: Home Shopping 07:00: Storage Hunters 07:25: Megatruckers 08:20: Top Gear 10:00: Storage Hunters 11:00: Lizard Lick Towing 11:30: Lizard Lick Towing 12:00: Megatruckers 12:30: Megatruckers 13:00: Top Gear 14:40: QI 15:20: Would I Lie to You? 16:00: Storage Hunters 16:30: Storage Hunters 17:00: Lizard Lick Towing 17:30: Top Gear 19:00: Man v Food 19:30: Man v Food 20:00: Storage Hunters 20:30: Storage Hunters 21:00: QI XL 22:00: Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:00: Mock the Week 23:40: QI 00:20: Would I Lie to You? 01:00: QI XL 02:00: Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00 Children’s TV 07:20: Make Way for Noddy 07:30: City of Friends 07:45: Little Princess 08:00: The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:15: Angelina Ballerina 08:35: Rupert Bear 08:50: Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:00: Jelly Jamm 09:20: LazyTown 09:45: Chinese Food in Minutes 09:55: The Dog Rescuers 10:25: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 13:15: Oklahoma! 16:00: The Princess Bride 17:50: Michael Jackson’s This is it 20:00: World’s Strongest Man 2013 20:55: 5 News Weekend 21:00: Abduction 23:05: Superbad 01:25: Super Casino

Great Movie Mistakes 2013 19:15: Top Gear 20:15: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa 21:35: Live at the Apollo 22:20: Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 23:05: Family Guy 23:30: Family Guy 23:50: Family Guy 00:15: Family Guy 00:40: Anuvahood

06:00: 06:15: 07:15:

06:00: 07:30: 08:30: 16:00:

Football Gold FL72 Fantasy Football Club Xmas Special 08:45: Game Changers 09:00: Game Changers 09:15: Game Changers 09:30: Game Changers 09:45: Game Changers 10:00: Soccer A.M. 12:00: Ford Saturday Night Football Live 15:00: Gillette Soccer Saturday 17:00: Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00: Saturday Night Football: Game of the Day 22:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30: Premier League Hundred Club 00:00: Saturday Reloaded 01:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

19:00:

11:00: 12:35: 14:55: 16:40: 18:40: 21:00:

22:45: 00:35:

17:00: 18:00:

19:00:

20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:00:

Inspector Gadget Escape to Victory Marmaduke Jungle 2 Jungle Mission: Impossible II Four Christmases Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn star in a frothy romcom. The Hole Red Hill

The Ashes Ashes Breakfast Cricket The Ashes Highlights How the Women’s Ashes Were Won The Ashes Highlights Day three of the fourth Ashes test between Australia and England from the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Cricket Day three of the second test between South Africa and India from Sahara Stadium Kingsmead. The Ashes Highlights The Ashes Verdict Ashes Modern ClassicsVaughan Ashes Extra The Ashes

Death Comes To Pemberley Editor Recommends BBC 1 - 21:00 - 22:00

Following the inquest at which Wickham is found to be guilty of Captain denny’s murder, his trial in derby is now imminent. The strain of recent events has taken its toll on all at Pemberley.

Darcy is increasingly preoccupied with the advancing trial, and his part in coercing Georgiana to marry for duty has driven a wedge between him and Elizabeth. Meanwhile, Wickham’s indiscretions and secrets are set to be revealed in court, and Elizabeth must break the news to Lydia before she hears

it second hand. Meanwhile, Darcy worries that Wickham’s character flaws amount to a motive for the murder and this presents a dilemma about how he should handle the information at trial. As the trial progresses, revelations come thick and fast. Darcy learns of Colonel Fitzwilliam’s involvement in Wickham’s affairs. Darcy is furious with Fitz and with himself as he realizes that his preoccupation with trying to save the reputation of Pemberley has threatened that which matters to him most – his family. Darcy reaches out to his sister and to Elizabeth and they face the outcome of the trial, united once more.

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

29 December

Sunday - TV

06:00: Breakfast 09:10: Match of the Day 10:30: Father of the Bride II 12:15: MOTD2 Extra 13:00: BBC News 13:15: Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave 13:45: Shrek: The Pig Who Cried Werewolf 13:55: Monsters vs Aliens 15:20: That Puppet Game Show 16:00: Comic Relief 2013 17:00: Songs of Praise 17:35: BBC News 17:50: BBC London News 18:00: Countryfile 19:00: Antiques Roadshow 20:00: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 22:05: BBC News 22:20: BBC London News 22:30: Match of the Day 2 23:50: The Football League Show 01:05: Weatherview 01:10: BBC News

06:00: This is BBC Two 06:10: Natural World 07:00: Antiques Road Trip 08:00: Antiques Road Trip 09:00: Antiques Road Trip 10:00: Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:30: The A to Z of TV Cooking 12:20: EastEnders Omnibus 15:15: Ben and James Versus the Arabian Desert 16:15: Flog It! 17:15: Force 10 from Navarone 19:15: Porridge 20:00: Morecambe and Wise in Pieces 21:00: Michael Palin in Wyeth’s World 22:00: QI 22:30: 2013: Moments in Time 23:30: TOTP2 01:00: Ambassadors 02:00: The Abominable Snowman

06:00: 06:10:

06:00:

09:15: 12:50: 13:50: 16:00: 18:30:

21:00:

23:00: 01:05:

The Hot Desk Emmerdale Omnibus Coronation Street Omnibus The Xtra Factor Peter Pan Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back Shaun of the Dead Zombie-filled romantic comedy. Unfulfilled thirtysomething Shaun finds his life falling apart when his beleaguered girlfriend leaves him, tired of his daily pub expeditions and his loser mates. Pitch Black MC Hammer’s Big Shot Academy

06:55: 09:05: 11:10: 13:15: 15:05: 16:55: 17:55: 20:00:

22:00: 00:05: 01:15:

The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes Santa Claus Lewis Goodnight Mister Tom Carry on Again, Doctor Carry on Matron Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs Agatha Christie’s Poirot Death Becomes Her Black comedy. When a novelist loses her man to a former friend, she ends up in a psychiatric hospital. Years later and looking radiant, she returns home to confront the nowmarried couple. Lewis The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes Ruth Rendell Mysteries

07:45: 07:50: 07:55: 08:20: 08:30: 09:00: 09:25: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 12:35: 13:35: 15:35: 16:35: 18:35: 18:45: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00: 22:15: 00:10: 01:10:

06:00: 06:20: 06:45: 07:10: 07:35: 08:25: 10:30: 12:30: 14:35: 15:40: 17:55: 20:00: 21:00:

23:30:

Om Nom Stories Om Nom Stories Share a Story: The Winners’ Journey Horrid Henry Victorious Deadtime Stories ITV News Storage Hoarders Sunday Side Up Sunday Scoop ITV News and Weather Inside the National Trust Midsomer Murders Love Your Garden Just Henry ITV News London ITV News and Weather Catchphrase Agatha Christie’s Marple ITV News and Weather The Break-Up Rugby Highlights The Store

Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers Goodwood Revival 2013 British Superbike Championship Review 2013 Shootout The War Wagon ITV’s Year of Sport Every Which Way But Loose Smokey and the Bandit II Rugby Highlights Manhunter An ex-FBI forensic investigator who is called in to track down a brutal serial killer. To help him understand the mind of his quarry, he visits the prison which holds an old adversary of his Dr Hannibal ‘the Cannibal’ Lecter. The Matrix

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Tel. 922 714 500 Whale Watching Puerto Colon 2 Hours 22 Euros

06:00: 06:55: 08:30: 09:00: 09:30: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 15:30: 15:55: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:05: 23:40: 00:10: 00:40: 01:10:

06:00: 07:10: 08:00: 08:30: 10:00: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:20: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:55: 23:35: 00:10: 01:10:

The American Football Show Boo, Zino and the Snurks Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Sunday Brunch Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Inkheart Channel 4 News Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events Celebrity Come Dine with Me Bear’s Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry Speed with Guy Martin 8 Out of 10 Cats Rude Tube Mashed 2013 The Inbetweeners The Inbetweeners The Inbetweeners American Football Live

Home Shopping Megatruckers Man v Food Top Gear Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Megatruckers Megatruckers Man v Food Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing World’s Most Dangerous Roads QI Man v Food Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Mock the Week Would I Lie to You? QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00 08:30: 08:50: 09:20: 09:45: 09:55: 10:00: 10:25: 11:25: 12:25: 13:30: 15:45: 18:20: 19:55: 20:00: 21:00: 22:05: 23:05: 01:15:

06:00: 07:30: 07:45: 08:00: 08:15: 08:30: 08:45: 09:00: 10:30: 12:30: 15:30:

19:00: 22:30: 22:45: 23:00: 00:30:

Children’s TV Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom Jelly Jamm LazyTown Olly the Little White Van Inside Hollywood The Dog Rescuers World’s Strongest Man 2013 World’s Strongest Man 2013 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21 Yanks Snow White 5 News Weekend World’s Strongest Man 2013 An Audience with Bruce Forsyth Bruce Forsyth’s Comedy Heroes Shirley Valentine Super Casino

19:00:

Saturday Night Football: Match Choice Game Changers Game Changers Game Changers Game Changers Game Changers Football Gold The Sunday Supplement Goals on Sunday Ford Super Sunday Ford Super Sunday Chelsea face Liverpool at Stamford Bridge in the Barclays Premier League. The teams played out a 2-2 draw when they last met at Anfield. World Darts Championship Darts Gold Darts Gold Ford Football Special Premier League 100 Club: Henry

07:30: 08:30: 16:00:

21:00: 22:05: 22:35: 23:05: 23:50: 00:15: 00:40: 01:00: 01:25:

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Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide Top Gear Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard’s Good News Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy

How the Grinch Stole Christmas Chalet Girl Big Fish Titanic Easy A Intelligent and hilarious high school comedy stars Emma Stone in an outstanding lead performance. Repo Men The Hidden Fortress

Ashes Breakfast Cricket The Ashes Highlights Ashes Modern ClassicsHayden Ashes Modern ClassicsVaughan A look back into the archives to relive the Ashes careers of ten legends of the modern game. This episode features England’s Michael Vaughan. The Ashes Highlights Cricket The Ashes Highlights The Ashes Verdict Ashes Modern ClassicsHayden Ashes Extra The Ashes

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

30 December

M o n d ay - T V 06:00: Breakfast 09:10: Bridge to Terabithia 10:40: Sky High 12:15: Bargain Hunt 13:00: BBC News at One 13:10: BBC London News 13:20: The One Show 13:50: A Question of Sport 14:20: Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Day Out 14:45: WALL-E 16:15: Mary Poppins 18:30: BBC News 18:50: BBC London News 19:00: Celebrity Mastermind 19:30: Shrek Forever After 21:00: EastEnders 21:30: Mrs. Brown’s Boys 22:10: BBC News 22:25: BBC London News 22:30: Comic Relief 2013 23:30: BBC News: The Editors 00:05: Disgrace 01:55: Weatherview 02:00: BBC News

06:00: 06:25: 06:55: 07:20: 07:55: 09:45: 11:45: 12:15: 12:50: 13:25: 15:20:

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20:30: 21:00: 23:45: 00:30: 01:15: 02:00:

Emmerdale Coronation Street Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! Free Willy 3: The Rescue Dragonheart Emmerdale Coronation Street Coronation Street Horrid Henry: The Movie Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi You’ve Been Framed! Love Actually Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice

06:00: 06:30: 07:30: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 16:20: 17:20: 18:00: 18:30: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:30: 23:00: 00:00: 00:30:

06:00: 06:20: 07:15: 09:25: 11:35: 13:35: 15:45: 17:45: 20:00: 21:00: 23:00:

00:05: 01:15:

This is BBC Two Natural World The House That £100k Built Britain’s Empty Homes Africa Earthflight The Great British Bake Off The Great British Bake Off Antiques Road Trip Ice Station Zebra Attenborough and the Giant Egg Flog It! Celebrity Eggheads A Culture Show Special Dad’s Army University Challenge Sacred Wonders of Britain The Thirteenth Tale Mel Smith: I’ve Sort of Done Things Respect: A Felix Dexter Special Good Hair

Judge Judy The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes Rebecca Rebecca Hidden Treasure Agatha Christie’s Poirot Bertie and Elizabeth Emma Agatha Christie’s Poirot Come Rain Come Shine Law and Order: UK The team investigate after an elderly janitor is murdered in his home, but the crime has been carried out with such precision and planning that the only evidence the killer leaves is designed to lead the detectives down a series of false trails. Wycliffe Wallis and Edward

06:00: Daybreak 08:30: Lorraine 09:25: Murder, She Wrote 10:25: Dickinson’s Real Deal 11:25: The Railway Children 13:35: ITV News and Weather 13:50: Dinner Date 14:50: Catchphrase 15:50: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed 17:35: You’ve Been Framed! 18:00: Aussie Animal Island 18:30: ITV News London 18:45: ITV News and Weather 19:00: Emmerdale 19:30: Coronation Street 20:30: Quantum of Solace 22:30: ITV News and Weather 22:45: The Game 01:05: Jackpot247

6:20:

06:00: 06:50: 07:40: 08:05: 08:35: 09:35: 10:35:

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11:40: 12:40: 13:45: 14:50: 15:50: 16:55: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 21:30: 22:00: 23:00: 00:15: 01:15:

The Saint Minder Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Ulster GP Highlights 2013 England’s Greatest Goals The Sweeney The Saint Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals Cheers Cheers Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Ax Men Keane and Vieira: The Best of Enemies Rugby Highlights The Professionals

06:45: 07:35: 09:20: 09:50: 10:20: 10:50: 11:20: 11:50: 12:20: 14:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:05: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:30: 01:25:

08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 13:40: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:20: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:40: 00:15: 01:15:

According to Jim Will and Grace See Spot Run How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Space Chimps Coraline Deal or No Deal Celebrity Come Dine with Me Hollyoaks Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Gok Does Panto Jamie’s Festive Feast Doggy Styling Twit of the Year C4’s 30 Greatest Comedy Shows Vampires Suck

Home Shopping Storage Hunters The World of Stupid Criminals Megatruckers World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Megatruckers QI Would I Lie to You? Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing World’s Most Dangerous Roads Would I Lie to You? Man v Food Storage Hunters QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Mock the Week Never Mind the Buzzcocks QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00 08:45: 09:00: 09:05: 09:15: 09:30: 09:50: 09:55: 10:25: 11:25: 12:25: 13:25: 14:25: 17:10: 19:30: 20:30: 21:30: 23:35: 01:50:

08:00: 09:00: 09:15: 10:15: 11:45: 12:00: 12:15: 12:30: 12:45: 13:00: 13:15: 16:45: 17:00: 17:15: 17:30: 17:45: 18:00: 19:00: 23:00: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

Children’s TV Tickety Toc Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures Roary the Racing Car The Mr. Men Show Mist: Sheepdog Tales Inside Hollywood The Dog Rescuers Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights World’s Strongest Man 2013 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers Winter Road Rescue The Alamo The Four Feathers Eddie Stobart: 12 Days of Christmas World’s Strongest Man 2013 Dirty Dancing Jesus Christ Superstar Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans Game Changers The Ashes Highlights Ford Football Special Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold World Darts Championship Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold FL72 World Darts Championship FL72 Soccer A.M. The Best Bits Football World Darts Championship

19:00: 19:25: 21:00: 22:50: 23:20: 00:05: 00:30: 00:50: 01:10: 01:40:

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Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes Streetdance Raiders of the Lost Ark EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy American Dad! Sweat the Small Stuff Snog, Marry, Avoid?

Deck the Halls Anastasia The Spy Next Door Fred Claus Iron Man The Mechanic Jason Statham stars in director Simon West’s action retread of Michael Winner’s 1972 revenge thriller. 4.3.2.1 Wild at Heart

The Ashes Ashes Breakfast Cricket The Ashes Highlights European Seniors Tour Golf A review of the 2013 European Senior Tour. Features a look at the biggest tournaments, the players that triumphed and all the stories that hit the headlines. The Ashes Highlights Football Dunfermline Athletic take on Rangers at East End Park in this Scottish League One clash. The Ashes Highlights The Ashes -Verdict NFL NFL The Ashes Highlights

Sacred Wonders Of Britain Editor Recommends BBC2 - 20:30 - 21:30

In the first of a three-part series archeologist, historian and broadcaster Neil oliver sets off in search of the Sacred Wonders of Britain.

What was it about Britain’s rich and varied landscape that inspired our ancestors to express their beliefs by reshaping the world around them? What did they see in our countryside that led them to deem some places more sacred than others and why are we still drawn back to those places today? From the heart of its cities to the furthest reaches of its islands, Neil’s journey reveals the sacred face of

Britain, an ancient landscape of belief and ritual that still lies hidden just below the surface of the modern world. In this first episode, Neil goes in search of the very first stirrings of religion in Britain. In Nottinghamshire he discovers clues to a world of magic and ritual etched into the rock of Creswell Crags by Ice Age hunters. In the south of England and on the Scottish borders, great tombs are evidence of ancestor worship among the first farmers of the Neolithic and an extraordinary discovery in Herefordshire reveals what really lies beneath their burial mounds.

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

31 D e c e m b e r

Tu e s d a y - T V

10:30: 12:00: 13:00: 13:20: 15:35: 16:00: 17:30: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:15: 23:15: 23:55: 00:10:

06:00: 06:25: 07:25: 08:15: 09:15:

10:20: 12:30: 13:00: 14:05: 14:40: 16:30: 19:10: 21:00: 23:25: 00:10: 00:55: 01:40:

06:00: 06:25: 07:25: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00:

Beverly Hills Chihuahua Bargain Hunt BBC News at One The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five How to Train Your Dragon Top of the Pops BBC News Celebrity Mastermind EastEnders Holby City Two Doors Down BBC News at Ten The Graham Norton Show Gary Barlow’s Big Ben Bash Live New Year’s Eve Fireworks Gary Barlow’s Big Ben Bash... Continued

This is BBC Two Natural World Short Circuit Africa Earthflight The Great British Bake Off 12:00: The Great British Bake Off 13:00: Antiques Road Trip 14:00: First Knight 16:05: The Queen’s Palaces 17:05: Flog It! 18:00: Celebrity Eggheads 18:30: Blackpool Big Night Out 19:30: University Challenge 20:00: Nature’s Weirdest Events 21:00: Tudor Monastery Farm 22:00: Mock the Week 22:30: Dara O’Briain: Craic Dealer 23:30: Jools’s Annual Hootenanny 2013 01:50: Glastonbury 2013 Highlights

08:30: 09:25:

Lorraine Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders 11:00: Dickinson’s Real Deal 12:00: All Star Family Fortunes 12:45: ITV News 13:05: The ‘Burbs 15:00: The Cube 16:00: The Nation’s Favourite Dance Moment 17:30: Off Their Rockers 18:00: You’ve Been Framed! 18:30: ITV News London 18:45: ITV News 19:00: Emmerdale 19:30: Aussie Animal Island 20:00: Mamma Mia! 22:10: ITV News 22:15: 2013: A Funny Old Year 23:15: Vicious 23:45: ITV News and Weather 00:05: Waterworld

Emmerdale Coronation Street You’Ve Been Framed! Top 100 Animals The Xtra Factor: The Winner’s Story I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Now! Trials and Tribulations What a Girl Wants Emmerdale Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! Beethoven’s 2nd Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi Mr Bean’s Holiday Hot Fuzz Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice

06:00: Judge Judy 06:20: Duty Free 07:20: Evil Under the Sun 09:40: Sherlock Holmes 11:55: Wallis and Edward 13:55: Goodbye, Mr. Chips 15:55: Sparkling Cyanide 17:55: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 20:00: Midsomer Murders 22:00: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 23:00: A is for Acid Dramatisation of the true story of the 1940s acid bath murders. John George Haigh was an inventor and an apparently charming and cultured man, but his inventiveness extended to his methods of disposing of his murder victims - with drums of sulphuric acid. 01:05: Fierce Creatures

06:00: The Saint 06:50: Minder 07:40: Cheers 08:05: Cheers 08:30: Kojak 09:35: Magnum, P.I. 10:35: The Professionals 11:35: The Sweeney 12:40: The Last Sunset 15:00: Lonesome Dove 17:00: Sports Life Stories 18:00: Sports Life Stories 19:00: Cheers 19:30: Cheers 20:00: River Monsters A special programme about the making of the extreme fishing series with Jeremy Wade. To find some of these fresh water monsters Jeremy and his camera crew have to travel to some of the most inhospitable places on the planet. 21:00: Duck Dynasty 21:30: Duck Dynasty 22:00: A Dangerous Man 23:55: Blade

06:00: 06:30: 07:20: 08:50: 09:20: 09:45: 10:15: 10:50: 11:20: 11:50: 13:55: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:25: 18:55: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 23:05: 01:05: 01:30: 02:00:

08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 13:40: 14:20: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 17:40: 18:20: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:55: 23:35: 00:10: 01:10:

According to Jim Will and Grace Little Manhattan How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother The Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Imagine That Home Alone 3 Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Deal or No Deal Celebrity Fifteen to One Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular The 50 Funniest Moments of 2013 Toast of London Toast of London Toast of London

06:00 Children’s TV 07:35: Thomas and Friends 07:50: Noddy in Toyland 08:00: Fifi and the Flowertots 08:10: Peppa Pig 08:25: Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:40: Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00: Tickety Toc 09:20: Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 09:25: Roary the Racing Car 09:40: Inside Hollywood 09:45: The Dog Rescuers 10:15: Michael Buble’s Christmas Special 11:15: Fiddler on the Roof 14:50: Pal Joey 17:00: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 19:00: The Gadget Show 20:00: World’s Strongest Man 2013 21:00: Greatest Stand Up Comedians 23:50: The Plank 00:55: Super Casino

Megatruckers World’s Most Dangerous Roads Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Megatruckers QI Would I Lie to You? Would I Lie to You? Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing QI Would I Lie to You? Would I Lie to You? Man v Food Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Mock the Week Never Mind the Buzzcocks QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 09:15: 10:15: 11:15: 12:15: 13:15: 17:15: 17:45: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 00:30:

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Game Changers FL72 Football Soccer A.M. The Best Bits FL72 World Darts Championship Goles y Goles y Goles Football Gold Rugby Union Super Tries Special Report Ringside Fights of 2013 F1 - Season Review Sky Sports Years 2013 Lions Raw Special Report Ringside Fights of 2013

19:00: 20:00: 21:50: 22:35: 23:05: 23:50: 00:15: 00:35:

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00:20:

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 08:30: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 15:15: 15:30: 16:00: 17:00: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:30: 23:45: 00:00: 00:30:

Great Movie Mistakes 2013 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Live at the Apollo EastEnders Family Guy American Dad! American Dad! Great Movie Mistakes 2013

Young Sherlock Holmes The Ladykillers Scrooged St. Trinian’s Hairspray The Godfather See the year out with this doublebill of Francis Ford Coppola’s classic gangster epic. The Godfather Part II

Football FL72 Inside Sailing Big Bash Cricket The Ashes Highlights Football Soccer A.M. The Best Bits Football Gold Football Gold Triathlon FL72 WWE SmackDown! F1 Season Review Super League Season Review Barclays Premier League Review Goles y Goles y Goles Spanish Gold Spanish Gold SPFL Round-Up Super League Season Review

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

We d n e s d ay - T V 06:00: 09:00: 10:20: 11:55: 12:45: 12:50: 13:00: 13:05: 14:15: 17:05: 18:25: 18:35: 18:45: 20:00: 21:00: 22:25: 22:40: 22:50: 00:20: 01:20: 01:25:

06:00: 06:25: 07:15: 07:40: 08:35:

09:35: 11:45: 12:15: 14:10: 16:00: 18:10: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 23:40: 00:15: 00:40: 01:40:

Breakfast The Ant Bully Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Polar Bear: Spy on the Ice The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message BBC News BBC London News Gangsta Granny The Sound of Music Kung Fu Panda 2 BBC News BBC London News Gnomeo and Juliet EastEnders Sherlock BBC News at Ten BBC London News Match of the Day The Graham Norton Show Weatherview BBC News

09:15:

Emmerdale The Cube You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! Funniest 100 I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Now! Best of the Bush The Mighty Ducks Emmerdale Casper Ice Age: The Meltdown The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Johnny English Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Love Actually Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Celebrity Juice Celebrity Juice

06:00: 06:10: 07:30: 09:20:

11:15: 12:40: 13:20: 15:30: 16:30: 17:20: 17:25: 17:55: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:40: 01:05:

11:45: 14:30: 16:50: 18:50: 21:00:

23:00: 00:00:

The Great British Bake Off New Year’s Day Concert from Vienna 2014 The Many Faces of Michael Caine The Eagle Has Landed Sports Personality of the Year at 60 Final Score The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message University Challenge The Terminal Nature’s Weirdest Events Glasgow Big Night Out Stanley Baxter: The Many Faces of The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Television Show The Resident Shadow of the Vampire

Movies Now Christmas Lights Sparkling Cyanide Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of the Baskervilles Death on the Nile Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Marple A Touch of Frost The Suspicions of Mr Whicher Crime drama featuring the pioneering 19thcentury detective Jack Whicher. After leaving the Metropolitan Police, Whicher saves a respectable country lady from a violent robbery in a dangerous quarter of London. Law and Order: UK Prime Suspect

07:25: 07:55: 08:10: 08:25: 09:25: 10:25: 12:20: 13:25: 13:50: 15:40: 17:40: 18:45: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 22:30: 22:50: 23:50: 00:55:

06:00: 06:10: 06:55: 07:45: 08:50: 09:55: 10:55: 11:20: 15:05: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 20:15: 22:00:

00:15: 01:15:

1 January st

Share a Story: The Winners’ Journey Bottom Knocker Street Bottom Knocker Street Dinner Date Murder, She Wrote Columbo Dickinson’s Real Deal ITV News Uncle Buck 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments The Illusionists ITV News Emmerdale Coronation Street Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 ITV News at Ten 2013: A Funny Old Year The Jonathan Ross Show Jackpot247

World of Sport The Big Match Revisited The Sweeney Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Highway Patrol Spartacus Lonesome Dove Sports Life Stories Sports Life Stories Cheers World of Sport Police Academy 6: City Under Siege Daylight Subterranean disaster movie about a former emergency services worker who attempts to lead a handful of survivors to safety from a collapsing New York road tunnel. Chris Eubank: Sports Life Stories Didier Drogba: Sports Life Stories

06:05: 06:30: 06:55: 08:50: 09:20: 09:50: 10:20: 12:05: 13:05: 15:40: 16:10: 18:10: 18:20: 21:00: 22:20: 00:20: 05:40:

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According to Jim Will and Grace Freaky Friday How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother The Big Bang Theory Planet 51 Deal or No Deal Channel 4 Racing The Simpsons Big Channel 4 News The Karate Kid David Blaine Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2013 Alien Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard

Home Shopping The Gadget Show The Gadget Show Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Top Gear Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Blackadder II Blackadder II Blackadder II Blackadder the Third Blackadder the Third Blackadder Goes Forth Mock the Week Mock the Week Milton Jones’s One Night Stand

06:00 08:10: 08:20: 08:35: 08:45: 09:55: 10:10: 10:40: 11:40: 12:40: 13:40: 15:55:

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23:00: 00:00: 01:00:

Children’s TV Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc Thomas and Friends: King of the Railway Inside Hollywood The Dog Rescuers World’s Strongest Man 2013 World’s Strongest Man 2013 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers The Glenn Miller Story Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes The Dam Busters An Audience with Ken Dodd An Audience with Cliff Richard Michael Buble’s Christmas Special Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Game Changers Football Gold Special Report Ringside Fights of 2013 Gillette Soccer Special Football Gillette Soccer Special Football World Darts Championship The final of the 2014 PDC World Darts Championship from London’s Alexandra Palace. Sky Sports Years 2013 FL 72 -Highlights World Darts Championship

19:00: 21:00: 22:25: 23:10: 00:05: 00:30: 00:50: 01:35:

11:00: 12:50: 14:40: 16:30: 18:40: 21:00: 23:10: 02:00:

06:00: 07:00: 12:00: 14:00: 15:00: 17:00:

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22:00: 23:30:

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Jack Whitehall Live Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad Russell Howard’s Good News

Baby’s Day Out Stormbreaker Journey to the Center of the Earth Crocodile Dundee II Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief Predators Man on Fire Mission to Lars

Barclays Premier League Review Big Bash Cricket Super League Season Review My Special Day Ringside Fights of 2013 Sky Sports Years 2013 A look back at the programmes, events and stories that made the headlines on Sky Sports throughout 2013. Super League Season Review Ford Football Game of the Day Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full rerun of the best Barclays Premier League game from Wednesday afternoon. Ford Football Match Choice Ford Football Match Choice

David Blane: Real or Magic Editor Recommends Channel 4 - 21:00 - 22:20

or more than a decade, david Blaine has been captivating the world with his highprofile endurance stunts. Starting his career as a magician who appeared to do the impossible with a deck of cards, he was soon following in the footsteps of houdini, seeking out that which seemed physically impossible, and actually doing it.

This special programme follows Blaine’s signature brand of street magic and mystifies some of the most recognisable celebrities in the world, including Jamie Foxx, Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Ricky Gervais, Katy Perry, Lenny Kravitz and Will Smith, to name a few. Blaine goes into the homes of Kanye West and Olivia Wilde, and visits Stephen Hawking at his office at Cambridge University. He also travels the world, astonishing people from all walks of life with never-seen-before, inconceivable magic.

TREASURE ISLAND TV GUIDE

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Thursday - TV

06:00: 09:00: 10:30: 12:00: 13:00: 13:30: 13:45: 15:25: 16:10: 17:10: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:25: 22:35: 00:30: 02:00:

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11:20: 12:25: 12:55: 13:25: 13:55: 16:00: 17:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:50: 23:50: 00:20:

Breakfast Match of the Day The Pacifier Bargain Hunt BBC News at One BBC London News The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Escape to the Country Flog It! Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News Celebrity Mastermind EastEnders Dolphins - Spy in the Pod Silent Witness BBC News at Ten BBC London News Pretty Woman The Rebound Skiing Weatherview

King Ralph You’ve Been Framed! Britain’s Got More Talent I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Now! Crown Jewels I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! Coming Out Emmerdale Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show You’ve Been Framed Rides Again! Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Tricked Fake Reaction Utterly Outrageous Reality TV Moments 2013 Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men

07:30: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 16:05: 17:05: 18:00: 18:30: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:45: 23:30:

Tudor Monastery Farm Britain’s Empty Homes Africa Earthflight The Great British Bake Off The Great British Bake Off Antiques Road Trip The Heroes of Telemark The Queen’s Palaces Antiques Roadshow Celebrity Eggheads Glasgow Big Night Out University Challenge Top Gear PQ 17: An Arctic Convoy Disaster Rab C. Nesbitt John Sergeant Meets Rab c Nesbitt Idris Elba: King of Speed

06:00: Emma 08:05: Goodbye, Mr. Chips 10:10: The Sign of Four 12:25: A Touch of Frost 14:35: The Mirror Crack’d 16:45: Agatha Christie’s Marple 18:55: Murder, She Wrote 20:00: A Touch of Frost 22:00: Wycliffe Lane puts herself in jeopardy when she mishandles an informant, but can Wycliffe and Kersey find her in time? 23:05: Law and Order: UK The day starts early for Ronnie and Sam as they are called to a murder scene in the early hours. Later, they take a 999 call when a sibling dispute turns murderous. Then a frantic morning takes another turn when an allegation of police intimidation is made against one of the team. 00:10: A Touch of Frost

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2 Daybreak Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather All Star Mr and Mrs Secrets From the Workhouse Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Tonight Emmerdale Birds of a Feather Benidorm ITV News at Ten and Weather The Americans The Unforgettable... Jackpot247

Movies Now The Big Match Revisited The Sweeney Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder Arthur scores an own goal when he is persuaded to buy up 2,000 tickets for the England v Scotland football match at Wembley. The Professionals The SwBeeney Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Lonesome Dove Sports Life Stories Sports Life Stories Cheers Cheers Storage Wars Storage Wars Lethal Weapon 2 Manhunter Hell on Wheels

06:05: 06:30: 07:25: 09:05: 09:40: 10:10: 10:35: 11:05: 11:35: 13:50: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:55: 01:50:

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According to Jim Will and Grace Flicka How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe The Jewel of the Nile Deal or No Deal Celebrity Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News The Restoration Man My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday Secrets of the Scammers Aliens Coming Up

Home Shopping The Gadget Show Storage Hunters Top Gear Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Top Gear Top Gear Man v Food Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Top Gear Top Gear Man v Food Man v Food Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Mock the Week Mock the Week Have I Got a Bit More News for You Never Mind the Buzzcocks Mock the Week Mock the Week Have I Got a Bit More News for You

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January

Children’s TV Peppa Pig Toby’s Travelling Circus Bananas in Pyjamas Tickety Toc Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures Mist: Sheepdog Tales Cowboy Builders Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 5 News Lunchtime Titanic Columbo: By Dawn’s Early Light 5 News at 5 Cowboy Builders Newstalk Live Got Thin, Got Fat Again Too Fat to Fly 50 Shocking Facts About Diet and Exercise Fat for Cash Super Casino

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Game Changers Football Gold Football Gold Football Gold Soccer Extra Holiday Special FL72 Ford Football Match Choice Ronaldo: A Golden Year Football FL72 Soccer Extra Holiday Special Scottish Premiership Football FL72 Soccer Extra Holiday Special Scottish Premiership

19:00: 20:00:

22:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:45: 00:30: 01:30:

Winter Wipeout Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Russell Howard’s Good News EastEnders Family Guy American Dad! Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents Russell Howard’s Good News

11:00: Arrietty 12:55: The Addams Family Values 14:45: Lassie 16:40: The Parent Trap 19:10: The Spy Next Door 21:00: The King’s Speech Historical drama that depicts the Duke of York’s struggle to conquer his speech impediment. 23:20: Repo Men 01:30: The Last Detail

06:00: 06:30: 08:30: 12:00: 14:00: 15:00: 17:00:

18:00: 19:00:

22:30:

Super League Super Tries World Darts Championship Big Bash Cricket World Darts Championship WWE Bottom Line World Darts Championship WWE Vintage Collection Gene Okerlund and Renee Young look back at classic matches and memories from the WWE past Ringside Special- Calzaghe Big Bash Cricket Brisbane Heat host the Sydney Sixers at the Brisbane Cricket Ground in the Big Bash League. The visitors came out on top in the corresponding fixture last season. The Ashes

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Metallic Helium Balloons

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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Best In Sport 2013

012 WAS always going to be a tough sporting year to follow after Britain’s olympic triumph, but 2013 has delivered plenty of memorable moments for sports fans. here’s just a few to remind you It was the end-of-an-era as Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement left the football world coming to terms with a moment that would mean things would never be the same again. The nation jumped for joy when, after a 77-year wait for a men’s singles title, Andy Murray held his face in his hands, overcome by disbelief, relief and sheer elation, after bringing the trophy home by winning Wimbledon. That our Andy had just effortlessly outplayed the world No.1, Novak Djokovic, in straight sets made it all the more delicious. The Scot provided a priceless clip for the highlightsreel by climbing into the CentreCourt stands to embrace his biggest supporter, his mother, Judy. Wales needed a winning margin of at least seven points in their showdown with England to deny

them the Grand Slam. And the hosts trounced England 30-3 at

the Millennium Stadium to clinch the Six Nations crown and spark wild celebrations in Cardiff. Welsh rugby hymn ‘Bread of Heaven’ echoed around Sydney’s ANZ Stadium long before the final whistle, as the Lions restored their pride after 16 years of frustration and humiliation. Leigh Halfpenny, one of ten Wales players in the starting XV, landed 21 points in the 41-16 triumph – a record for a Lion in a Test match and a record points tally for the tourists. Chris Froome emerged from Sir Bradley Wiggins’ shadow to win the Tour de France. The traditional

final-stage Paris procession may not have been that dramatic, but

the Kenya-born rider’s super-human climb up Mount Ventoux to win stage 15 was a gritty spectacle. When George Groves floored Carl Froch in the first round of their WBA and IBF super-middleweight title fight, it became an instant classic of British boxing. Justin Rose showed little regard for history as he became the first Englishman for 43 years to win the US Open and England’s first major winner since 1996.The 32-year-old looked to the sky with tears in his eyes, later dedicating his victory to his deceased father and long-time mentor Ken. Mo Farah proved once again that he is Britain’s greatest ever distance runner by repeating his London 2012 double at the World Championships in Moscow, holding off Ibrahim Jeilan, the man who had denied him world gold in 2011, with 150m remaining to win a gripping 10,000metres final. Six days later Farah became only the second man in history to do the Olympic/world double-double by winning the 5,000m gold in another enthralling duel, this time against Isiah Kiplangat Koech.

Macca’s Ex Won’t Ski At Paralympics

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

Felix Baur killed while training in Spain

x Mrs Paul McCartney Heather Mills has abandoned her bid to ski at the 2014 Sochi Paralympics after she ‘exploded’ during a discussion over an adapted prosthetic leg she was competing on. The International Paralympic Committee (IPC) says Ms Mills verbally abused and physically harassed an official. She has been accused of flying into a ‘wild tantrum’, jumping on an official and saying: ‘You don’t know who I am – I will make your life miserable.’

The IPC is considering disciplinary action against Ms Mills which could result in her receiving a hefty fine. Ms Mills’ coach claimed there was a vendetta against her, saying: ‘Heather waited patiently (as IPC confirmed) to try and explain to Sylvana Mestre that her left boot was legal and purely cosmetic to abide by the archaic IPC rules. Sylvana shouted at Heather, would not let Tony [the GB coach] speak or explain, and stormed back to the boardroom raised table.’ But IPC skiing committee head Sylvana Mestre claims: ‘I was trying to explain to [Mills] that this is not the equipment we approved earlier in the year and then, that was it – she exploded. She jumped on me. She grabbed me from the back and she started to say that “you don’t know who I am, I will make your life miserable”.’ Ms Mills, 45, has announced that she is withdrawing her bid to ski at the 2014 Sochi Paralympics. The British Paralympic Team said it was ‘saddened’ by Ms Mills’ withdrawal.

wo young promising riders have passed away in a terrible week for professional cyclists, The 21-year old Swiss rider Felix Baur died after a road accident in Spain. Spanish authorities found a bruised man on the roadside who was brought to into hospital. It was unclear initially who the cyclist was but Baur’s team, Atlas Personal-Jakroo later confirmed his identity. Atlas Personal-Jakroo had been at a training camp in the Spanish city of Valencia, preparing for the upcoming season. Baur was a promising rider with eighth place overall at the Tour of Bern his best result in 2013.

Santiago, Dominican Republic, following a robbery. The 26-yearold was competitive on both the road and track and was to ride with Predator Cycling in 2014. He was taken to the José María Cabral y Báez hospital but died shortly after. The Dominican Cycling Federation expressed its condolences.

The accident happened at 10 am last Wednesday morning when a car collided with him. The driver of the car was tested for his blood alcohol levels which were returned negative. Spanish authorities are further investigating the circumstances of the accident. Dominican Euris Vidal was shot in the neck as he attempted to foil two men mid-robbery in Pueblo Nuevo, in the province of

Spain Gets “Double Hat Trick” In FIFA Rankings

eigning world and European champions Spain, were No. 1 for the 28th consecutive month in the December rankings. Spain is at the top of the yearend FIFA rankings for the sixth straight year. Football world governing body’s rankings show an unchanged top 10, with Spain leading going into World Cup year ahead of Germany and Argentina.

Colombia, Portugal and Uruguay follow, with Italy, Switzerland, Netherlands and World Cup hosts Brazil completing the leading 10. The United States, the top-ranked team from North and Central America and the Caribbean, remained 14th for the second

straight month. The U.S. was 13th in September and October, its highest ranking since July 2010. This puts the U.S. just one place behind England.

No. 18 Ukraine made the biggest rankings rise in 2013, up 29 places. Ukraine failed to qualify for the World Cup, losing a playoff to No. 20 France.

The only changes in the top 30 see Bosnia-Herzegovina up two places to 19th, with France dropping a place to 20th while Mexico also slip a place to 21st.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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the SportS SCene By Colin Kirby

All Ready For The Arona 7’s Football Feast

oU’VE over indulged on food and drink so feel free to add football to the mix, and what a line up there is for the Arona 7’s annual under 12’s tournament. Chelsea, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, Barcelona, Granada, Español, Sevilla, Real Sociedad, Valencia, Borus-

sia dortmund, juventus, and Paris St Germain will all be at the olimpico Stadium in Playa de Las Americas from Friday 27 to Sunday 29 december, and it’s all free. There are 26 games in all, the pitch is a reduced 60 metres by 40 metres wide and the games are 12 minutes each way in the group stages, 15 each way in the semis, and 20 each way in the

final. Friday’s action runs from 9.30am to 12.30 and 4.15 to 7.10 pm. Chelsea kick off against Real Madrid at 12.30 and against Granada at 5.35. Then on Saturday it’s 9.30 to 12.30 for the last of the group games including Chelsea v Español at 11.30, then the quarter finals take place from 3.40 to 6pm. Sunday brings the semi finals at 11.20 and 12.15 with the third place play off at 6 pm and the final at 7.30pm.

CD Marino’s Top Four Spot Under Threat

A 3-0 away loss at Estrella CF closed the promotion group gap with the Gran Canaria side now snapping at Marino’s heels in 5th spot.

It could have been a lot worse as Marino were 3-0 down within 35 minutes to one of the fastest improv-

ing sides in the Tercera division. Cesareo netted the first after 12 minutes, there was barely time to regroup before Pepollo added a second and Chelo made sure there were no home nerves going into the break. Balduino had a goal ruled out for offside and the task got harder when Yosimar was sent off for a second yellow card after 64 min-

utes. At least the home man advantage was cancelled out within 10 minutes as Echeday suffered the same fate from the ref who was flashing cards to both sides. This weekend CD Marino are playing their home game against Union Sur Yaiza in El Fraile as their Las Americas stadium is hosting the Arona 7’s tournament.

Iberostar Tenerife Pile On The Points A

P o W E R F U L squad performance by Iberostar Tenerife punished bottom placed Valladolid 84-68 to get back to winning ways. The home side dominated all the way, led by a big points hauls from Saul Blanco on 21, Nico Richotti on 19, and Blagota Seku-

lic on 15. Blanco’s tally earned him the player of the day award for Spain’s ACB League. A 3,688 crowd enjoyed a 25-16 first quarter that set the tone for the night, the visitors managed to edge the second 14-16, but a mammoth 20-12 advantage in the third killed them off and Tenerife cruised home 25-24 in the final

quarter. Rounding off another year of big advances Tenerife travel to Laboral Kutxa on 27 December and host Murcia on 30 December in La Laguna. Hopefully 2014 will bring a clean bill of health, their form has been interrupted by long term injuries to Fotios Lampropoulos and Juampi Gutierrez and a recent knock for Luke Sikma.

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Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

CD TENERIFE SURRENDER IS HARD TO STOMACH

o STRIKERS, no passion, and for some players no future. That was the aftermath of a shocking 0-3 home loss to Sabadell before the festive break. Ayoze Perez, Cd Tenerife’s highly valued goal scorer was withdrawn an hour before the game with a stomach virus, prompting speculation that he is lined up for a big money exit in the january transfer window.

The other players should have fought hard to cover his loss but all we got was headless turkeys with no idea of basic passing or ball winning. It was almost a year since Ayoze’s senior debut and the over reliance on his speed and skill was clear to see, Aridane was little short of pathetic and Oscar Rico with his first start of the season looked way out of his depth. Sabadell were below Tenerife but arrived with a strong game plan and made it work, they were first to the ball, backed each other up and even contained the flying Suso, the only home player who looked up for it. Five minutes in and the static home defence was

sliced open from a corner and Crespi had bags of space to pop the ball in at the post. A shock lead but still there was no urgency from the Tenerife players. Moyano has been consistently good at right back but his poor back header was typical of the team attitude, goalie Roberto spared his blushes. Rico missed a clear goal chance, Aridane didn’t seem willing to use his bulk and height to make an impact and the midfield were sloppy with their passing. Sabadell could well have gone in leading by more, at least Roberto was awake. It was like a poor pantomime and boo hiss, the baddie took to the stage in the second half. Borja Perez was signed in the summer as a striker but even replacing Rico he plumbed new depths in his short but agonizing Tenerife career. The 8,924 crowd squirmed as Sabadell flashed a shot across the home goal and then Roberto stretched to tip the ball over the top corner of the goal. Another attack and Moyano made a glaring foul, up stepped former Tenerife player Hidalgo and the penalty made it 0-2. Borja’s comedy gold moment arrived when Sabadell keeper Nauzet rushed out to head the ball clear and made a hash of it, the ball

Badminton, For Sport, For Fitness, For Fun

flew loose to Borja but his header was even worse and we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Oh the shame of it all, how could our lazy lump of a forward Aridane be marked out of the game by Cristian, a defender who could barely reach his knee caps. The third goal, another clear penalty, this time given away by Camara and converted by Anibal, was greeted with derision by the many who were drifting out of the stadium. The outstanding Las Palmas win had us dreaming of a promotion playoff push but the harsh reality of relegation is now stalking us. Several players need to be flushed out of the

LASGoW 2014 Commonwealth Games will see badminton get one of its rare bursts of publicity but a keen group of enthusiasts have kept Tenerife South Badminton Club running since 1998. Founder Mick Wortley has seen them travel to play in El hierro and Alicante and welcome the GB Ladies pairs champions Sara Sankey and Ella Miles to join their sessions but most of all it’s been about enjoying the games and the company.

Flicking through his scrapbook Mick showed me some of the clubs highlights.” We started

club in January before there’s any financial way to bring in a couple of new forwards, but who would want Borja. The break means no game until 4 January, by then hopefully the directors will have revealed their cunning plan for 2014.

with an advert in a local paper and played at El Fraile and Las Galletas in the early days. The trip to El Hierro was a great experience even though we lost 5-4 but we caused a stir when we went to El Campello near Alicante and beat the best local teams.” Over the years there have even been major rule changes. “It’s still the best of three sets but the games used to go to 15 points, then they decided to increase that to 21 points.” Now settled at Mar Y Sol in Los Cristianos they have excellent facilities and are able to enjoy an after match drink. Relaxed but keen they have a mixed age range and have spare rackets for anyone looking to try out the sport. They play on Monday and Thursday evenings, if you want to join call Mick on 922721179.

Tenerife Weekly - 27th December 2013 - 2nd January 2014

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QUICK CROSSWORD

vivo.10975

ACROSS

17. Japanese currency 18. Beam of light 20. The States (1,1,1) 21. Food tin 23. Historical age 25. Listen to 26. Opinion surveys 28. Otherwise, or ... 30. Way out 31. Dad

32. Steal a look 34. Fearful 35. Masculine 37. See next page (1,1,1) 39. Food enhancer (1,1,1) 40. Relaxation art, t’ai ... 41. Joke

43. Chest bone 45. Follow closely 48. Child’s jumping toy, ... stick 50. Heath land 51. Hawaiian dance 52. Illegally obtained 53. Was in debt to 54. Paradise garden

DOWN

animal 6. Eyelid inflammation 7. Lion’s cry 8. Strange 9. Fauna & ... 14. Tavern 16. Yes 18. Rampaging 19. Pained barking 22. Skilful

24. Paper quantities 25. Clued-up 26. Dog, ... bull terrier 27. Unhappy 29. Female sheep 33. Embodiment 36. Become beached, run ... 38. French yes 39. Cow sound

40. Small but significant film role 42. Saying 44. Intellect 46. Lacking rain 47. Research rooms 48. Golfing stroke 49. Clarified butter

1. Cricketing extras 7. Starched neck frill 10. Investment in risky venture 11. Painting, Mona ... 12. Motor vehicle 13. Utter (cry) 15. Heads of wheat 1. Hearty guffaw, ... laugh 2. Concentrated flavouring 3. Luncheon meat or Internet junk mail 4. Kilted Celt 5. Peruvian pack

Av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De Las Americas Arona ( In Front Of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

Answers to the QUICK CROSSWORD are on page 2