The Beachside Resident December 2018: Holiday Issue

VOLUME 13/ISSUE 7/DECEM

BER 2018

Brevard Hospital, 1937

Give the Gift of Health This Holiday Season The roots of Health First run deep in Brevard, dating back to 1937, when Brevard Hospital first opened in Melbourne with 27 beds. Now, as your local, not-for-profit community healthcare system, we are more committed than ever to improving the wellness and health of our community.

As we continue our mission to provide the community with excellent and compassionate health care, we rely on your support to help us create a healthier Brevard.

1350 S. Hickory St. ยก Melbourne, FL 32901

Please consider giving the gift of health this holiday season at HFgive.org.

To learn more, call 321.434.7353.

JOIN US FOR THE

ULTIMATE BEACH ADVENTURE!

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Fireworks will not be set off at the pier or in Cocoa Beach.

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Editor’s Note Happy Holidays Fam!

By now you’re likely in the thick of the holiday rush (or is it crush?). With any luck, you’ve pregamed with early preparations and you’ve made the conscious decision not to let the pressures of holiday commercialism take a firm grip on your every thought. In more recent years, I, myself, have swerved the crushing precedence of this expensive holiday by announcing to my loved ones my wish to forego gift exchanges in lieu of hugs, kisses and fellowship. Has it worked for me? More or less, yes. While my family mostly, albeit somewhat begrudgingly, complies with my request, there are some who’ve yet to fully accept my appeal, planting beautifully wrapped treasures in my lap, year after year, leaving me in a panic as to how to return the favor in kind. It is this which leaves me with deep reservations for why this holiday has such a draw.

Do I enjoy receiving incredible gifts from the wonderful people in my life? You bet your sweet Aunty Sally, I do! However, it takes only a moment to take stock of my life and realize the abundance I am blessed with. I am surrounded by clothes, shoes, electronics, a beautiful home, fresh water and people who care deeply about me. I have everything a lady could wish for. Do I want more?

Yes. Do I need more? No. With the events of last month’s savage fires in California and too many stories of the less fortunate to count, realizing I have more in my life than many could wish for, my desire to acquire the latest and greatest of *you name it* is quelled. I can, only then, feel honored in having the bounty I already possess. It is in this place of deep contemplation and gratitude I find the spirit of the holiday swelling inside me.

It is not about how many gifts you wish to see tucked underneath the expensively decorated Christmas tree. It is not about finding “THE PERFECT GIFT” for your friends and family. This is a season founded on gratitude and fellowship. This is a time when families come together to share in laughter and recount memories and remember loved ones passed. It is a season to reach beyond our busy lives and disencumber the lonely and seemingly forgotten; pull them back into the fold and share in our humanity together. Now is the time to purge your home of treasures once loved, abandoned in storage, unused and undervalued. I implore you to donate your treasures, open your hearts, reach out to the world around you and lend a helping hand -- to rebuild, to replenish, to revitalize the broken and neglected.

For those of you and I know you’re out there (Mom), who simply cannot make it through the holiday without buying that one special gift for that one special person, remember your small business owners. I encourage you to purchase locally and support, in this way, the families in your community.

Make this next trip around the sun the best one yet!

Wishing you ALL radiant health,

Sharon Lacy Editor-in-Chief

WHAT’S INSIDE?

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Meet the Team Local Scribe: Money Talk Gift Guide Opinions Book Reviews Surfing Santas Restaurant of the Month Recipes Entertainment Calendar Naughty or Nice Beachside @ Your Service Pet of the Month Fishing Report Bartender of the Month Out & About Calendar Waterman Gifts of the Season Open for Business Get Fit Tips Local Scribe: Vitalist Keep FL Weird Horoscopes and Puzzles Album Review Sudoku

DECEMBER 2018

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MEET THE TEAM

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

CALLIE BOYER

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sharon Lacy

Callie is the Resident’s newest addition and she will school anyone, anytime about grammar. She goes wherever the wind takes her and almost exactly one year ago the wind swept her to the shores of Cocoa Beach after taking her on whirlwind adventures through the Caribbean, Central America, Europe, Africa, and Western United States. Originally from Akron, Ohio, she moved to St. Petersburg, Florida when she was a baby and the two states have been playing tug-of-war ever since (Florida being the obvious winner). After heeding the advice of a complete stranger she decided to make Cocoa Beach her permanent residence with her faithful companion Meeka and has been focusing on surfing, kiteboarding, and giving Meeka the retirement she deserves ever since.

BER 2018 VOLUME 13/ISSUE 7/DECEM

ON THE COVER December 24th marks the annual Surfing Santas extravaganza, including Brevard Hawaiian Dancers (Halau Ilima O Pololika), a costume contest and more Santa look-alikes than you can count. Head downtown to see hundreds of costumed waveriders descend on the beach off Minutemen Causeway in Cocoa Beach.

COMING UP NEXT...

JANUARY 2019 THE FOOD ISSUE Eating is the world’s favorite pastime. The Space Coast has a bevy of delectable diners and culinary champions. Hope you’re hungry, Team B-Side is bringing the Food Issue to the table.

WRITE FOR US The Beachside Resident is a media company for, about, and written by beachside residents. We’re looking for talented, passionate writers. Articles need to be topical, contain 500 words or less and include photos. We’ll reference your blog, business or social media pages in your article. If you prove you have what it takes, we’ll pay you. Grab your moment in the spotlight, feather your resume, and let your voice be heard. If you have an opinion, internet access, and the ability to tell a story...

Email us at staff@thebeachsideresident.com. or Call: 321 613 2158 8

thebeachsideresident.com D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

Craig Harriman

EDITOR Callie Boyer ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Matt Herold A.K.A. “Hype Man”

CONTROLLER Amanda Dreyer SALES ASSOCIATE Dane Strickland CONTRIBUTORS ‘Becca w/ the Good Hair Beachside Radio Whitney Bailey Jamie Mackenzie Fairvilla Joe Barker George Trosset John Hughes Fursey O’Veebee Suzanne Elliott Lulu Van Nordstrom Misti Blu Day McDermott Steve Hauser Gary Roen Greg Rapp Summer Cowhig Ruth Nelligan Summer Cowhig A D V E RT I S I N G & C O N T R I B U TO R JA N UA RY DEADLINE DECEMBER 16, 2018 S T R E ET D AT E JA N UA RY 4 , 2 0 1 8

Please recycle this magazine by leaving it somewhere with spotty Wi-Fi

MONEYTALK

By Steve Hauser

Fun fact: 73.6% of all statistics are made up. My point is: don’t let the numbers and the math throw you. I’m providing some terminology and background for a better understanding of how the market works.

Whether you manage your own account or use an advisor, knowing the game will make you a better player. Ask questions. Be curious.

We’ve covered the origins of the stock market and how stock is created. Market Cap, earnings, and P/E ratios explained some of the basic terms to measure a company. These are commonly found on your brokers’ website. The good ones will even provide official definitions.

Dividends are another biggie. In Finance 101 we learned that the primary goal of every company is to maximize shareholder wealth. If a company is losing money, their goal is to stop the bleeding and turn profits around. If the company is profitable, decisions are made as to how to spend that money. If they can invest in research or expansion to help the firm grow, they’ll crunch numbers to justify the decision and move forward. If they’ve grown all they can and the money is flowing in, they’ll give it to the owners in the form of a dividend.

Companies with a strong history of dividends are prized by investors.

This is especially true when interest rates are low. Traditionally, retired investors relied on interest on their savings to provide a little extra income and kept their money safe in CDs and government bonds. As low as today’s rates are, many retirees are choosing to buy dividend yielding stocks. If this is you, please remember there’s market risk that should not be ignored. It can be minimized by diversification but it’s still there.

Dividend history is a quick look at the health of a company. If they pay the same dividend consistently, that’s a sign of strength. If they regularly increase the dividend, they’re growing and doing something right. Conversely, a decreased dividend can be a red flag for obvious reasons. Dividend yield is the return on your investment. The yield depends on the price paid for the stock and the dividend paid.

Today’s websites calculate it for you so don’t worry about the math.

Send questions and comments to: spacecoastmoneytalk@gmail.com.

Merry Christmas!

Check us out on

@thetinyturtle

thetinyturtlecocoabeach.com | CATERING AVAILABLE

Mon-Thurs 11:30am-8:30pm Fri & Sat 11:30am-9:30pm Sundays 11:30am-5:30pm DECEMBER 2018

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GiftGuide

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“Couples Massage” to set the mood right: Morakot $140

A Lover’s Get-Away. Know one knows what goes on behind closed doors: International Palms Oceanfront Suite $199/ night

Romantic Dinner. PacificRim Infusion of tropical delights and a sexy, cozy atmosphere: Fat Kahunas Gift Certificate $100

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the vibrations I want tonight to set the mood right: Magic Wand Original US 110 Volt Plug: Fairvilla $79

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for the

Secret Lover

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Liquid Love Flavored Warming Massage Oil 4 Pack Sampler 1oz: Fairvilla $10.99

Landscaping for a lover’s delight! Tips to toes, everything goes!

Cocoa Beach Waxing $45

Lingerie to make the lady sizzle: La Jolie Gift Certificate $150

Make a lasting impression with a sexy photo shoot: Carmen’`s Boudoir Photography $560

GiftGuide

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Help them stick to their New Year’s Resolutions with some clean, organic, non-GMO deliciousness - Gift Card, The Jungle, Satellite Beach - $25 Whoever said that you don’t need alcohol to have fun… was right! Enjoy a shell of kava (an FDA approved drink derived from an ancient plant) instead - 32 oz Growler of Kava, Bula, Cocoa Beach $20 + $10 to fill Make sure they don’t spill their drink when perusing the town - Sunlite Coconut Drink Holders, Matt’s Bike Shop, Cocoa Beach $31.99 Somewhat of a modern day apothecary, this enchanting shop is based on the philosophy that “Mother Nature knows best” and has a wide selection of fresh dried spices and seasoning blends - Assorted Spices, Mrs. Mango’s, Rockledge (Prices Vary)

for the

FOODIE

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Enjoy fish so fresh that Dory is still looking for it - Gift Certificate, Seafood Atlantic, Port Canaveral $50 Some gifts need to be experienced, rather than given; take your favorite foodie on a field day to a local farmer’s market and enjoy locally grown produce, honey, homemade soaps, and more - Green Market Place, Cocoa (Priceless)

If you’re having a hard time deciding, why not get them a little bit of everything? - The ‘A Little Bit of Everything Plus’ Gift Basket, Green Turtle, Satellite Beach $65 (Add a bottle of wine for ~$20) When their slacks won’t button anymore: Month of Unlimited Yoga: Introductory Fee $39 / $109 Month Unlimited DECEMBER 2018

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GiftGuide

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Thrill adventure-loving Aries with an exciting helicopter ride! - Beach Tour, Beachside Helicopters, Merritt Island $49

Appeal to Taurus’ love of the arts - 104 Piece Mixed Media Tool Set, Ralph’s Art Supply, Melbourne $129.99 Creative gemini needs stimulation wherever they go - DryVibes Waterproof Speaker, 321 Kiteboarding, Cocoa Beach $79.99 Sentimental Cancer will love a gift that’s thoughtful -- turn a personal photo into beautiful painted effect for them to cherish a lifetime - Creative Framing By David, Indian Harbour Beach (Price TBD) Leos love to be the center of attention, so get them a customizable engraved geometric necklace - Rizzo Jewelers, Cocoa Beach (Prices Vary) Practical Virgo loves a useful gift - Bluetooth™ Smartband Fitness Tracker, Dakota Watch Company, Merritt Island $49.95

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for the

ZODIAC

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Venus-ruled Libra can always use another creative outlet - One-onOne Variety of Classes (2-hours, by appointment), Studios of Cocoa Beach $30 Appeal to Scorpio’s sense of style and secrecy with a pair of polarized sunglasses - RCI Optics, Shady Characters, Cocoa Beach - $259

Sagittarius loves to travel, so you’ll know they’ll appreciate a 28” hardside expandable carry-on - Ship to Shore Luggage, Cocoa Beach $163.00

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Give your Capricorn a chance to learn a new skill - Makala Dolphin Ukulele by Kala, Island Music, Merritt Island $49.99.

Aquarians are the visionaries of the zodiac, and will be the first to appreciate an informative trip Kennedy Space Center, Titusville $57 12. Indulge Pisces’ inner aquatic nature with sailing lessons Beachside Sailing, Merritt Island $200.

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Give them the gift of barrels - Private Surf Lesson, School of Surf, Cocoa Beach $95

Give their eyes a break from staring at a screen all day - Djs Bookstore, Titusville $5-20

What better way to prevent underage drinking than to lock them in a room all night! - Escape Room, Cocoa Beach $30 Dolphins and manatees and stingrays, oh my! Wildlife Expedition, Fin Expeditions, Cocoa Beach $40 Having fun can be educational too! Check out the museum as well as gift shop - Museum Entry, Dinosaur Store, Cocoa Beach $14

for the

TEEN

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You want to be remembered as the coolest parent ever, right? - Piercing by Whitney (located at Endless Summer Tattoo), Cocoa Beach $50

Forego the ugly sweater and let them pick out something rad for themselves - Standard Collective, Melbourne $100 Gift Card For a fun night out with their friends - 18 Holes of Putt Putt, Golf ‘N Gator, Cape Canaveral $16 Let them unleash their inner Tarzan in an aerial park suspended 45 feet inthe air - General Admission, Aerial Adventures, Cape Canaveral- $45

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Because acne is a thing Absolutely Natural- $60

DECEMBER 2018

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?

OPINIONS

WHAT ARE YOUR TIPS FOR AVOIDING THE HOLIDAY BLUES THIS SEASON?

Stephanie Stanfield Booze and beach!

Kimberly Knauss Sidor

Linda’n Greg Chattin

Tricia McKusick

Gayle Louise

Corey Huau

Christina Campbell

Kelly Sauter

Josh Whitaker

Volunteer to keep busy and realize how much you have to appreciate. Animal shelters, nursing homes, VA hospital, so many groups out there need your help and it makes you feel good! Bailey’s and hot chocolate is nice too

Kula Camara

What is there to be blue about?

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Avoid family

Remember to cheer, give some love. If your family isn’t around… then adopt one or help a friend… it’s just a holiday.

Keep it simple and meaningful to you.

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Stay away from people… hibernate till January 2

Bingo, booze and besties!!!

Surf, don’t watch the news and a few beers.

Go watch some live music!

Holiday

BOOK REVIEWS “The Christmas Sweater: A Novel”

By Glenn Beck 9781416594857, $19.99 www.amazon.com

Every so often a book comes along that later becomes a classic of a particular season. That is the case of the wonderful novel “The Christmas Sweater.” Eddie, a twelveyear-old boy, wants one thing for Christmas as a present.

Unable to give him what he wants, his mother lovingly knits him a sweater that she hopes he will appreciate. Instead she is crushed by his reaction. Eddie is deeply angered by the death of his father due to cancer. His resentment manifests itself in many different ways as he and his grandparents and mom move through the Christmas season. “The Christmas Sweater” is a beautiful tale of the true meaning of the holiday that is an inspiration for all of us to enjoy over and over again that would make a great film to show every year around Christmas time.

“Jewish Holiday Style: A Beautiful Guide to Celebrating the Jewish Rituals in Style” Rita Milos Brownstein 9781684849591, $30.00 www.amazon.com

There are many different facets to Judaism that are exposed in “Jewish Holiday Style: A Beautiful Guide to Celebrating the Jewish Rituals in Style.” Beginning with Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) the book concludes with Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath). The sections reveal the history, customs, and the foods (with recipes) for everyone to learn more about a slice of the religion, while being able to experience it firsthand.There is a full portion devoted to Chanukah that people can relish as they celebrate the holiday. “Jewish Holiday Style: A Beautiful Guide to Celebrating the Jewish Rituals in Style” is a fantastic coffee table conversation piece that anyone can enjoy that is also filled with beautiful pictures that enhance a person’s enjoyment.

“The Gift of Bread: Recipes for the Heart and the Table” Karen Whiting 9781683970255, $15.99 www.amazon.com

“The Gift of Bread: Recipes for the Heart and the Table” is not just a great cookbook celebrating one of the most beloved things to eat, but, also an educational expose highlighting the role bread has played in many different religious customs. Some breads are affiliated with Jesus while others show the relationship of the ancient Hebrews.

Author Whiting takes readers on an excursion through religious history to learn and experience by making many of the recipes she provides. “The Gift of Bread: Recipes for the Heart and the Table” is sure to please with the many types of creations for anyone who wants to try something new for any meal while learning a bit of religious background.

DECEMBER 2018

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HO HO HO

OFF TO SURF WE GO Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach December 244th, 2018 “Since Santa has a busy night ahead of him on Christmas Eve, he likes to spend the morning enjoying his favorite pastime, which is surfing,” says founder George Trosset. “And because Cocoa Beach is the East Coast surfing capital, it’s no surprise he comes here to catch the best waves and mix with his fans. Around here, this show the Surfing Santas put on is known as ‘the ride of Christmas magic.’ It’s very spirited and zany and diverse. This is Central Florida’s best Christmas party and there’s nothing else like it.”

When: Where: Admission:

December 24, 8am to 12pm Minuteman Causeway Beach, Cocoa Beach FREE!

EVENT SCHEDULE-ISH 7:00am Band Starts - Aquanuts 8:00am M/C Arrives - Hunter Joslin 8:30am Invocation - Pastor Keith Capizzi 8:45am Christmas Songs - Anna Lusk / Balsa Bill

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#islandtime

9:00am Costume Contest 10:00am Santas Gather for Group Picture 10:30am Santas Released To Go Surfing 11:00am Brevard Hawaiian Dancers (Halau Ilima O Pololika) 12:00pm Event Ends (but the party doesn’t stop!)

What started out as a small, family day in Cocoa Beach has turned into a global phenomenon. People from all over congregate on Christmas Eve in Cocoa Beach to celebrate the holidays with Santa, friends and family.

Whether you surf or you’re looking to join in the holiday spirit, there’s no other beach having this much fun on Christmas Eve! There’s a good reason folks along Florida’s Space Coast flock to Cocoa Beach’s downtown oceanfront early in the morning on Christmas Eve. Everyone wants to stake out a prime viewing spot for what has become a wildly popular annual ritual in these sunny seaside parts: the celebrated arrival of “Surfing Santas.” Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach is an annual Cocoa Beach tradition that brings hundreds of surfers of all ages dressed up as Santa. The costumes are as diverse as the people that wear them. Watch them ride in on the waves and kick off your holiday beachside at this free event that benefits local, charitable causes.

If you’re anywhere near Cocoa Beach, the surfing capital of the East Coast, during Christmas weekend, you don’t want to miss this outrageous local holiday tradition. Last year, nearly 800 Surfing Santas showed up to catch some of Cocoa Beach’s finest waves, entertaining a beachside crowd estimated at nearly 10,000.

Costume Contest Now in its second year, the crowd can participate in a costume contest.

Dress up in your favorite winter themed outfit – snowman, Santa and Mrs. Claus, gingerbread man, reindeer, elves – for your chance to win prizes. This year there will be five categories: Babies (0-3) Kids (4-15) Group (2 people or more) Men (16+) Women (16+) Costume contest starts at 9am, followed by Santa surfing out at 10am.

There are no rules, so anything goes… well, almost! This is a familyfriendly event, so please keep that in mind. To ensure the safety of both surfers and spectators, the Cocoa Beach police, fire department, lifeguards and EMT personnel are on site.

Cash prizes for first through third place: $50 for first, $25 for second, $15 for third in individual categories and $100 for first, $50 for 2nd and $30 for third in the group category. One Grand Prize winner, the people’s choice from the first place winners, will win a Surfing Santas Surfboard!

What does Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach Benefit??

Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach takes great pride in helping those in need.

With every piece of Surfing Santas Swag sold, they’ve been able to raise over $60,000 for local charities. There are two charities dear to Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach – The Florida Surf Museum and Grind for Life. Since 2014, this event has been made possible by the efforts of The Florida Surf Museum, the Trosset family and and its many volunteers. The Florida Surf Museum preserves and documents the unique history and culture of Florida surfing. Experience the heritage and traditions of the surfing community through events, exhibits and programs.

Grind for Life offers financial assistance to families suffering from the effects of cancer. Every dollar received by your generous donations and purchases make a difference and impacts many lives.

History The whole thing started as a beach day with a one Cocoa Beach local dressed up as Santa catching a wave. On December 24, 2009, George Trosset went surfing dressed as Santa with his son and daughter-inlaw dressed as elves. Florida Today newspaper published a picture on the front page of the Christmas Day issue. George’s friends saw the picture and inquired about joining him the following year. The next year, even more people wanted to join the fun. A local skydiving enthusiast, Chuck Jullian, contacted them shortly after and asked if he and a few of his skydiving friends could land on the beach dressed in Santa Suits the following year. By now the news media had joined for this unique fun day. This coverage added to the crowds for 2013. By this point, the event had grown so big, they had to find a new location. When they approached the city of Cocoa Beach about moving the event downtown, they were received with open arms. Their friends at Fat Kahuna Restaurant served up an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast and donated the proceeds to the event. Local artist, Keith Coffman, donated the event T-shirt design. The Secrets of Cocoa Beach Gift Shop, Coconuts on the Beach and Surfinista Cafe all sold the event T-shirts, which benefited Grind for Life and The Florida Surf Museum. On December 24, 2017, 800+ Surfing Santas and nearly 10,000 spectators made their way to Cocoa Beach for some holiday fun in the sun!

The community’s support has been overwhelming, and Surfing Santas Cocoa Beach thanks everyone who wants to ride the Surfing Santa wave.

DECEMBER 2018

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RESTAURANT OF THE MONTH

Backwater

back·wa·ter / noun :a part of a river not reached by the current, where the water is stagnant :an isolated or peaceful place

Oozing with Southern charm, Backwater cafe has a definitive farmhouse feel, like the eggs might’ve been gathered out back that morning. It feels as close to a family kitchen as you can get, with half of the tables outfitted with griddles so that you can cook your pancakes right at the table.

It’s fun, eclectic, and the food has that deliciously decadent Southern quality. No shortcuts or substitutes here.

Q. Which dish or recipe are you most proud of?

A. I would eat the Deep Fried French Toast everyday if my waistline would let me.

Q. Which is one of the most popular menu items?

A. Our Eastern North Carolina Pulled Pork Eggs Benedict and Fried Green Tomato Eggs Benedict are the most popular items.

Q. Who owns this joint?

A. Owned by Elise and Ryan Verzaal and Executive Chef Mike Slintak.

Q. What it is about your restaurant that sets you apart from the rest?

A. Our commitment to a great overall experience is something that we strive for

Q. What is your personal and professional background?

A. Elise and Ryan are Florida natives with backgrounds in restaurant and event

Q. Is there a favorite party you’ve hosted?

A. Annually we do the pancake breakfast for the non-profit group ‘To Write Love On

management. As avid outdoorsmen, we strive to keep our products locally sourced with sustainable land practices in mind all while bringing people an outstanding affordable breakfast. Our executive chef Mike Slintak is a Culinary Institute of America graduate with an emphasis in food carving and presentation forward dishes.

our guests to keep coming back for.

Her Arms’ after their 5k race in Satellite Beach that we love being a part of.

Q. What is something on your bucket list?

A. Making it to Alaska or Tavarua.

Q. How did you come up with the concept for your restaurant?

A. Elise and Ryan’s first date was making pancakes at the Old Sugar Mill in DeLeon

Q. What would you order for your last meal?

A. Charlie Vergos’ Rendezvous Ribs (full slab).

Q. How long did it take you to perfect it?

A.We worked on the concept for Backwater for about a year before we even began

Q. Where do you spend your time when you’re not running one of the most exciting restaurants on the Space Coast?

A. Duck hunting in Arkansas, surfing in Nicaragua or training our stable of chocolate

Springs. Our ideas for the pancake tables came from that.

looking for locations.

Q. What inspired you to open up a restaurant?

A. Everyone has to take a chance on themselves at some point.

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labs.

Head over to Backwater and fill your bellies with bacon as thick as a leather belt, and design your pancakes in whatever shape you’d like. There’s no question you’ll enjoy it. Backwater is located at 1904 Municipal Lane, Historic Downtown Melbourne. Learn more and see their menu at backwaterflorida. com.

RECIPES

Mission Success!

By Misti Blu Day

@mistibluday

Fudgey Vegan Holiday Brownies Maybe you don’t have time to whip up some baked goods from scratch but you still want to bring something impressive to the table that everyone can eat. I always stick to organic labels to avoid extra fillers, pesticides and chemicals.

Organic products tend to list healthier ingredients. Don’t be fooled with “natural” or “organic” labels unless you see the USDA stamp of approval. Gluten-free is the route I go. Most of us have a relative with sensitivities, so why not be safe?

You will need: • Box of organic GF brownie mix • Cooked sweet potato • Applesauce • Cinnamon • Carob chips or cacao nibs • Coconut flakes (optional) • Cashews (optional) • Coconut oil Preheat oven as instructed. In a bowl, combine brownie mix and substitute eggs for a half cup of applesauce and half a cup of cooked, mashed sweet potato. Add water or oil as directed on the box.

You can add more sweet potato if you want to add less oil. I usually add just a tablespoon of coconut oil instead of the recommended amount. Sprinkle a generous amount of cinnamon and your choice of carob chips or cacao nibs.

After blending the mixture, top with chopped raw cashews and coconut flakes. Cook in the oven for 10 minutes over recommended time. Now you have an almost made from scratch, rogue batch of brownies! I like to drizzle a little CBD oil on mine.

Holiday Sangria Sangria never fails to disappoint and it is easy. This is also the perfect thing to bring if you suck at cooking.

You will need: • Red wine • Grand Marnier (orange liqueur) • Chopped fresh fruit • Pomegranate or cranberry juice • Vanilla extract or stick • Cinnamon Chop your favorite fresh fruit and toss in a pitcher. I prefer apples, pears, oranges and berries. Drizzle a healthy amount of Grand Marnier over the fruit and top with a cup of pomegranate or cranberry juice.

Sprinkle cinnamon and a few small drops of vanilla extract. You can use cinnamon sticks and vanilla sticks if you feel fancy. Cover and soak overnight. When you are ready to serve, pour two bottles of red wine in with the mixture. www.mistibludream.com

On a warm and sunny day, November 11, 2018, Beachside Media launched the inaugural Military Surf Festival and smiles were had by all. Beginning the morning’s festivities with a moment of reverie provided by Cocoa Beach’s JR/SR High School JROTC Color Guard, led by LTC (R) James M. DesJardin, presented the state’s and country’s flag. A handful of selected veterans -- Travis Strong, Katie Coy, Brandon Smith, and Arthur Ware -- were flown in from different corners of the country with the objective of honoring them in tribute to the services they contributed to our country’s freedom.

Inspired by our friend, Travis Strong, a young man who lost his legs in a tragic explosion while on tour in the Iraqi conflict, our staff and partners were stirred by his commitment to push through the countless obstacles he has endured since that time. Travis’ courage and bravery acted as a marquee for enduring hope and motivation. It was this inspiration which motivated us to create a day in which not just he and a handful of veterans, but all veterans nationwide are honored and remembered for their patriotism. On Veteran’s Day, representatives and volunteers came together to create a day in which the sun, surf and helping hands brought joy and awareness to men and women who deserve recognition.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank the many sponsor’s who were present and/or contributed to the day’s success. We know this will be one of many annual events to come. If you wish to be involved in next year’s event, we would encourage you to email us at info@beachsidemediagroup.com Thank you to all who were involved in this wonderful day of gratitude. We hope to see you again next year!

-The Team at Beachside Media Beachside Media would like to sincerely thank the following generous contributors who helped make this event possible: Jetson Surf Technology Trulieve Break Shore Security The Artist Mike Moffett Daniel Colburn Jimmy Dean of Jimmy’s Custom Tiki Carving Siren Williams Coco Janell Organics Budget Car Rental Navy Federal Credit Union Sirens & Sea Maidens Rusty’s Bar & Grille Mambo’s at International Palms Bob’s Beach Bicycle Works Suzanne Elliott of H.O.T. Yoga on the Island Jeremy Edgar of Fin Expeditions Beachside Helicopters, LLC Kulcha Shok Muzik, Inc. Dave Miller of Veteran Memorial Center DECEMBER 2018

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E N T E RTA I N M E N T C A L E N DA R

DECEMBER 2018

TWIN FINNEGAN’S

Wednesday Game Night 7:30pm Friday Happy Hour 4-7pm HOGAN’S Sunday Open Mic Night 8:30-11:30pm NOLAN’S Tuesday Trivia 7pm Thursday Tradition Irish Music 5:30pm OPEN MIKE’S Monday Acoustic Open Mic 7-10pm Tuesday TBA 7-10pm Wednesday Comedy Night (18+) 8-10pm Thursday Blues Jam 7-10pm Friday Jazz Jam 7-10pm Saturday Music Showcase & Events 7-10pm BEACHAM WED: 5 Myles Kennedy & Co.Year of the Tiger Tour 6:30pm

WED: 5 Ballyhoo! : Propoghanjah 8pm

FRI: 21 BenJaman Franklin 7:30pm

THU: 6 Dusky 12pm

SAT: 22 Krazy Ivan 2pm

SAT: 8 Jersey’s 40th Birthday Bash 7pm

SUN: 23 Muckfire 3pm

SUN: 16 Bayside (Acoustic): Kayleigh Goldsworthy 6pm GRILLS (PORTSIDE) SAT: 1 Derek 2pm Fabulous CTs 7:30pm

SAT: 29 Jake Salter Duo 2pm Hypersona 7:30pm RUSTY’S FRI: 7 Dub321 7-11pm

WED: 5 Jake Salter 6pm

Every Tuesday Jon Parrot or Jake Salter 5-9pm

SAT :8 Alex Rodriguez 1-5pm Alex & the Yesterday’s 7-11pm

THU: 6 Hypersona 5pm SAT: 8 Johnny Danger 2p Quick Change 7:30pm SUN: 9 Umbrella Thieves 3pm WED: 12 Honey Cutt 6pm THU: 13 Johnny Danger 5pm

SAT: 29 Stick Figure: The Movement 6pm

SAT: 15 Derek 2pm Sonic Mole Chasers 7:30pm

20

THU: 27 J & Kenny 5pm

Every Monday Adam v 5-9pm

SUN: 9 Post Animal 8pm

SAT: 1 Marc Broussard Kristopher James 6pm

WED: 26 Mike Burns 6pm

SUN: 2 The Kore 3pm

FRI: 14 Even Odds 7:30pm

THE SOCIAL

BenJaman Franklin

WED: 19 Allan Wood 6pm THU: 20 Jason Domulot 5pm

thebeachsideresident.com D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

Every Wednesday Jim Mitchell 5-9pm Every Thursday Jake Salter 5-9pm Every Friday Ton E’ 12-4pm Rick Allen 5-9pm

SUN: 9 Love Valley 2-6pm WED: 12 Sean Manvell 6-10pm THU: 13 Theo Moon 7-11pm

Every Saturday Splash 12-4pm Chase Harvey 5-9pm

FRI: 14 Dallas Reese Dueling Pianos 7-11pm

COCONUTS ON THE BEACH

SAT: 15 Steve Fredericks 1-5pm TBA 7-11pm

SAT: 1 Steve Fredericks 1-5pm Love Valley 7-11pm

SUN: 16 Smokin’ J’s 2-6pm

SUN: 2 Plush Cake 2-6pm

WED: 19 Sean Manvell 6-10pm

WED: 5 Sean Manvell 6-10pm

THU: 20 Florida Turnpike 7-11pm

THU: 6 Travis Diagle 7-11pm

FRI: 21 SEED 7-11pm

SAT: 22 Jimmy Mazz 1-5pm TBA 7-11pm SUN: 23 El Dub 2-6pm MON: 24 SURFING SANTAS! TUE: 25 Merry Christmas!

WED: 26 Sean Manvell 6-10pm THU: 27 Jimmy Mazz 7-11pm FRI: 28 Tripp Tide 7-11pm SAT: 29 Jimmy Mazz 1-5pm Them Seeds 7-11pm SUN: 30 Jimmy Mazz 2-6pm MON: 31 Happy New Year! Tripp Tide 7PM-1AM

SANDBAR SAT: 1 Absolute Blue 9pm-1am SUN: 2 Sandbooze Sundays!!!

DJ CERINO AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ 9pm-1am TUE: 4 DJ GOLDFINGA 9pm-1am WED: 5 JAM BAND 9pm-12am

MON: 24 YES WE ARE OPEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

TUE: 25 YES WE AREA OPEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY!!!

DJ GOLDFINGA 9pm-1am WED: 26 JAM BAND 9pm-12am THU: 27 Karaoke 8pm-12am

THU: 6 Karaoke 8pm-12am

FRI: 28 Musical Seduction 9pm-1am

FRI: 7 Dub Masters 9pm-1am

SAT: 29 LOVE VALLEY 9pm-1am

SUN: 9 DJ CERINO AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ 9pm-1am

SUN: 30 DJ CERINO AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ 9pm-1am

TUE: 11 DJ GOLDFINGA 9pm-1am

MON: 31 Reggae NEW YEAR EVE with DUB MASTERS 9pm-1am

WED: 12 JAM BAND 9-12 THU: 13 Karaoke 8pm-12am

MONEY BALLOON DROP AND FREE CHAMPAGNE TOAST AT MIDNIGHT

FRI: 14 506 CREW 9pm-1am

WESTGATE CB PIER: KEITH’S OYSTER BAR

SAT: 15 Vintage 9pm-1am

SAT: 1 Teddy Henderson 1-4pm Changes 6-10pm

SUN: 16 DJ CERINO AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ 9pm-1am

SUN: 2 Brad Taylor 2-6pm

TUE:18 DJ GOLDFINGA 9pm-1am

FRI: 7 Kings County 6-10pm

WED: 19 JAM BAND 9pm-12am

SAT: 8 Patrick Smith 1-4pm Bro Code 6-10pm

THU: 20 Karaoke 8pm-12am

Hot Pink

SUN: 9 Scotty Jordan 2-6pm

FRI: 21 Natty Common Roots 9pm-1am

FRI: 14 Rocktown 6-10pm

SAT: 22 Bailey Callahan Band 9pm-1am

SAT: 15 Kris Brocato 1-4pm Love Valley 6-10pm

SUN: 23 DJ CERINO AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ 9pm-1am

SUN: 16 Dana & Sharon 2-6pm

FRI: 21 Bro Code 6-10pm

SAT: 8 Scott Mayhew 1-4pm

MON: 31 Live Music until 4am

SAT: 22 Patrick Smith 1-4pm Napoleon Complex 6-10pm

THU: 13 Sean Manvell 4-7pm

MAMBOS

SUN: 23 Teddy Henderson 2-6pm TUE: 25 Larry Van Fleet 1-5pm WED: 26 Dusty 1-4pm THU: 27 Brad Taylor 1-4pm FRI: 28 Scott Mayhew 1-4pm Reggae Juice 6-10pm SAT: 29 Scotty Jordan 1-4pm The James Brocato Band 6-10pm SUN: 30 Fes UP 2-6pm MON: 31 Sean Manvell 1-4pm Kings County 9pm-1:30am

SAT: 15 Teddy Henderson 1-4pm

SAT: 1 Live Entertainment 6-10pm

THU: 20 Teddy Henderson 4-7pm

FRI: 7 Ted Villarreal 6-10pm

SAT: 22 Jeff Marquis 1-4pm

SAT: 8 Live Entertainment 6-10pm

THU: 27 Jeremy Hagen 4-7pm SUN: 29 Kris Brocato 1-4pm MON: 31 The One Man Band (Marc Dobson) 7pm-12am ASHLEY’S SPORTS PAGE FRI: 7 Green Jelly 7pm

SAT: 1 Kris Brocato 11-4pm

FRI: 28 Tyler Evans 7pm

THU: 6 Jeff Marquis 4-7pm

FRI: 21 Greg & Brian 6-10pm SAT: 22 The Gemini Band 6-10pm

SAT: 29 Krazy Ivan 6-10pm

FRI: 14 Tyler Evans 7pm FRI: 21 Tyler Evans 7pm

SAT: 15 Iris 6-10pm

FRI: 28 Cash Colley 6-10pm

SAT: 8 Zach Deputy 7pm

WESTGATE CB PIER: RIKKI TIKKI TAVERN

FRI: 14 Ted Villarreal 6-10pm

MON: 31 Vintage 9pm-12am

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DECEMBER 2018

thebeachsideresident.com

21

LOCAL SCRIBE

Naughty or Nice,

FAIRVILLA BRINGS THE SPICE

During the holidays Brevard county’s favorite gift and romance retailer, Fairvilla Boutique, encourages you to put a little love in your heart. Since moving in 2016 to their current location at 6103 North Atlantic Avenue, Fairvilla Boutique has worked diligently to curate a unique selection of lingerie, novelties and gifts. And this holiday season is no exception!

Feeling naughty? On the lingerie front, you can choose to be sexy with traditional teddies, babydolls and bodysuits, but you’re also encouraged to cuddle up with some sweet, sassy loungewear from Mapale. Soft cotton, bold stripes and playful designs are perfect as a gift for someone special or as a special gift for yourself.

Wanna feel nice? Then you’ll want to spend some time with our novelties and wellness items, where you can buy a variety of products that will make you feel good about feeling good. Ladies, you can change your life with a Womanizer or indulge in some couples fun with a We-Vibe . Toys aren’t solely for solo play, and Fairvilla Boutique specializes in gifts that will add a spark to any romance.

You’ll find holiday calendars that offer a special gifts behind each window in the days leading to Christmas. The We-Vibe Discover Box features 10 different items guaranteed to put a smile on anyone’s face. Happy Holidays, indeed! And if you’re looking for 24 days of holiday surprises, look no further than the Fifty Shades of Grey “There’s Only Sensation: 24 Days of Tease” box, which includes six different products for women, men and couples and six accessories for BDSM games.

Fairvilla Boutique also wants you to have FUN this season and is adding some holiday gag gifts and novelty items from some of their favorite companies like Kheper and Little Genie, including a naughty Christmas confessions game. You also might be surprised to find an eclectic selection of drinking accessories and games that you can’t find anywhere else.

In addition to the unique selection of products, Fairvilla Boutique is giving back to the Space Coast Community this season. Each time you shop the Boutique, you’ll get the opportunity to make a donation to the Brevard Humane Society. In return, you’ll get a silicone bracelet or sticker. Keep an eye out for a Yappy Hour on December 14th, too!

Complimentary drinks, holiday snacks, plus the good feels of cuddling with puppers.

So, if you’re looking to spice up your holiday gift giving, stop by Fairvilla Boutique. The staff is full of holiday magic and ready to help you put a little love in your heart (and the rest of your body).

Fairvilla is located at 6103 North Atlantic Avenue, Cape Canaveral, Cape Canaveral, FL 32920. For hours of operation visit www.fairvilla.com.

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thebeachsideresident.com D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

6103 N. Atlantic Ave. 1/4 Mile N. of the COCOA BEACH PIER

BEACHSIDE @ YOUR SERVICE! Owning a home (or any property) takes a lot of upkeep. Here is a sampling of some of beachside’s best maintenance and service professionals that are at your service to keep your property in tip-top shape.

1. INSURANCE | Carl Coddington Insurance “Our family protecting yours” Charles Coddington Homeowners • Flood • Auto • General • Liability O: (321) 784-5705 • charliecoddington@gmail.com 2. HANDYMAN | Gabe McTavey LLC. “Get your to-do list done!”

Licensed • Insured • Commercial • Residential (914) 420-6095 Gman454457@aol.com 3. PLUMBING | Tom Walker Plumbing Serving Brevard County for Over 30 Years Sales • Service • Installation • 24 Hour Service 102 Columbia Dr, Unit 101, Cape Canaveral 32920 321-799-0508

6. CLEANING | East Coast Gleam Team Inc. Licensed • Insured • Bonded “We outSHINE the Best, MOP up the Rest” Residential • RealEstate • Construction • Commercial 321-480-5425 • ivyb29@ymail.com 7. POOL | Sea Clear Pool Service “Keeping your pool clean so you don’t have to.”

Weekly Cleaning and Maintenance Leak Detection • Green Pool Restoration 321-759-6824 • customerservice@seaclearpoolservice.com

4. COOLING | I.C. Air LLC Air Conditioning and Refrigeration Balancing Comfort and Cost Service • Repair • Replacement 10% Senior and Military Discount 321-890-7904

8. MOBILE BOAT REPAIR | Tom’s Mobile Marine Inc. In Business for 30 Years Marine Engines • Sales and Service 4880 Cangro St, Cocoa 32926 • 321-636-5758

5. WINDOW & DOORS | Fountain Window & Door Licensed & Insured Certified master installer of windows and doors.

73 West Bay Drive, Cocoa Beach, FL (321) 783-0126 • www.fountaingc.com

9. CONTRACTOR | Alron Construction LLC State Certified General and Roofing Contractors New Roofs, Repairs, Maintenance, Residential, Commercial, Insurance Claims, Manufacturer Warranty, Free Inspections 321-639-0911 • 467 Forrest Ave, Suite 115 Cocoa CCC1328819 CGC1515789

DECEMBER 2018

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PET OF THE MONTH:

Batman

I’m… duna nuna nuna nuna... Batman!

The tree-climbing dog of Cocoa Beach.

You may have seen me hanging out in one of the oak trees around town, or running beside my dad’s bike. I love the beach and looking for squirrels, and going for walks, and squirrels, and dog-friendly restaurants, and squirrels, but not necessarily in that order. Life wasn’t always this good. I’m a rescue and let me tell you, life in the pound was no fun; it was loud and uncomfortable. I feared for my life! I was adopted two years ago and now I’m living the dream. I even have my own Instagram account; @itybitybatman -- check me out!

Christmastime in Cocoa Beach is the best. The surf shops have all their Christmas goodies on display and most are dog-friendly. I could spend hours exploring all the nooks and crannies, sniffing the new clothes’ smells and eyeballing the stuffed toys. The employees know my name and give me treats. Our little town really gets into the spirit of Christmas with snow days and Santas that skydive and surf. I like to wear my elf costume. It really brings a smile to my neighbors’ faces.

The church in my neighborhood has big oak trees that I climb. People frequently ask if they can take a photo of me because they’ve never seen a dog in a tree. I always tell them sure, just no squirrels in the photo. I find it too distracting Of all the fun things to do, snuggling is my favorite. When anyone sits down on a couch or recliner that’s my cue for the snuggles to begin. Of course, petting is an integral part of snuggling. At least one hand should always be in motion, preferably both hands. If my parents get distracted I tap them with my paw as a reminder that one of the things they love most in the whole world is right here in their lap.

I could go on and on about Christmas and Cocoa Beach and snuggling but I only have so much space. The bottom line is Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. And if you don’t celebrate a holiday at this time of year then I wish you peace, love and snuggles. I love all people and my wish this year is that you love each other too.

If you’re looking to get a dog for Christmas, please consider adoption. #adoptdontshop TO NOMINATE YOUR PET, EMAIL US A PHOTO AND TELL US WHAT MAKES YOUR PET SO SPECIAL:STAFF@THEBEACHSIDERESIDENT.COM

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REVEAL THE TRUE YOU! CocoaBeachChiropractic.com Chiropractic • Massage MM45375

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321-784-2208

Ocean Landings Resort MM24975 900 N. Atlantic Ave Cocoa Beach, FL 32931

Holiday Inn Club Vacation Resort MM14723 1000 Shorewood Dr. Cape Canaveral, FL 32920

$20 off

1 hour massage

One time use only Coupon MUST be presented Cannot be combined with any other coupon

Please call the office to set an appointment

321-784-2208

Ocean Landings Resort MM24975 900 N. Atlantic Ave Cocoa Beach, FL 32931

Holiday Inn Club Vacation Resort MM14723 1000 Shorewood Dr. Cape Canaveral, FL 32920

$20 off

1 hour massage

One time use only Coupon MUST be presented Cannot be combined with any other coupon

“Design is thinking made visual ” - Saul Bass

Creative, Unique Design for your business and personal needs.

Competitive pricing • Quick Turn-around • Excellent References

rebeccasnowdenportfolio.com 24

thebeachsideresident.com D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

FISHING REPORT @allwateradventures @AllWaterAdventures

CAPTAIN ALEX HUGHEY

OFFSHORE -

CAPTAIN GREG RAPP Even if your name was Will Ketchum, November’s fishing couldn’t have been any better.

Everything cooperated just like it should have and the action was fantastic; from the top of the water column, all the way down to the bottom. November’s great fishing is expected to carry into this month making all of us just that much more jolly this holiday season.

Once again the key to success will be finding clean water and the large schools of king mackerel. Everything will be feeding with, on, and under these massive schools of fish. This time of year millions of king mackerel will pack in tight on the main reefs between 60 and 100’. When this happens the ocean is going to look like Walmart on Black Friday. You will see commercial king mackerel fisherman, charter fisherman and recreational fisherman all packed tightly together. Straight line trolling ABSOLUTELY does not work in these conditions. Be sure to practice good fishing etiquette and go out around those guys trying to make a living. They are fishing in fairly tight circles to stay on top of their mark, so when someone unknowingly trolls right through them bad things can happen.

Once you have found the fish, either on your own or by locating the working fleet, then work live baits by slowly trolling them in a tight circle over the coordinates you got bites or marked fish on.

Be sure if you located the fish by finding the fleet you work well outside of them until you find your own section of fish. The fish may be packed tight but you typically have at least a mile stretch of water or so that they will congregate in.

INSHORE -

Now that you are on the big schools of kingfish, you are on everything! Blackfin tuna, sailfish and a few late season dolphin fish will be feeding on the same bait that has congregated around the kings. Sharks and wahoo will be there feeding on the kings. Cobia will also be there with the sharks or close to the bottom feeding with the groupers, snappers and other reef fish that are frenzied from all the scraps and commotion being caused by the feeding frenzy in the upper water column.

I suggest starting off trolling a wire rig to land a couple kingfish and hopefully a wahoo. King mackerel are fantastic eating but do not freeze well so keeping 2 or 3 fish will feed a lot of people.

Once you have as many kingfish as you can eat fresh, then set anchor and do a little bottom fishing. A sliding sinker rig on 50 lb. test with a 6 oz. egg sinker and 5/0 hook tends to be a great setup for 100’ or less. Both cut bait and live bait will produce good results. Be sure to have someone throw a live bait out the back with a single 4/0 to 6/0 hook depending on what size bait you have. This time don’t use wire leader. The kings will bite you off but omitting the wire will give you a better shot at blackfin tuna, sailfish and cobia.

Merry Christmas & Tight Lines Everyone, CAPTAIN GREG RAPP

The inshore bite remains strong!

This week we have still been seeing good numbers of redfish, and some nice trout! Most the redfish this week have been anywhere from 17 inches all the way up to 47 inches, which is pretty typical this time of the year. With the approaching cold fronts, we will probably start seeing fewer large fish and more slot sized fish. Typically, we will see a better trout bite with the cooler temps as well! Most fish are reacting well to small pieces of cut mullet and ladyfish fished along the grass flats of mosquito lagoon around the Tiger Shoals area. If you’re looking for an artificial bite, a Gulp Jerkshad in pearl white, fished weedless, has been getting the job done! The bull reds have been biting well along the beach and jetties, a large chunk bait has been the ticket. They are eating anything from mullet and ladyfish to bluefish and mackerel; if it’s bloody, they’ll eat it!

jig around the lily pads and reeds can be a lot of fun and productive as well. The water is very low right now, so be careful where you are running. I have found good numbers of fish all the way from Lake Pointset to Lake Washington and everywhere in between.

CAPTAIN ALEX HUGHEY

Another bite that has been picking up that I really enjoy this time of the year is freshwater crappie fishing. These fish are a lot of fun and pretty tasty in the pan. Slow trolling small lures such as the Blakemoore runners can’t be beat! Small live minnows work well too. The best bite has been in between the 5- and 7-foot water depths. If you’re not into trolling, then bouncing any small curly tail All Water Adventures, located at Sunrise Marina behind Grills in Port Canaveral, offers the full spectrum of on-the-water activities. Each trip is run by full time guides of our family-owned businesses. They have a love and passion for the area and what they do. If you want to get on the water for some fishing or just relaxing, then give them a shout. 321-222-7511 -

www.AllWaterAdventures.com DECEMBER 2018

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BARTENDER OF THE MONTH

Mikey “The Muscle” Hoffman

THIS MONTH’S BARTENDER OF THE MONTH FEATURES MIKEY “THE MUSCLE” HOFFMAN - NO ONE CAN REMEMBER WHY WE CALL HIM THAT… BUT WE’RE GOING WITH IT. He’s quick, he’s witty and his drinks are never shitty. He smiles, he pours, his banter will make you stay for more. He’ll tell a joke, he’ll light your smoke, he’s just that nice a bloke.

It’s the holidays and we’d like to say there’s no better bud to pour your suds.We asked and you answered, Cocoa Beach’s 2018, coup de grâce, Bartender of the Month is the one … the only … MIKE HOFFMAN.

Q A Q A Q A Q A Q A

WHERE ARE YOU FROM, ORIGINALLY?

Q

WHAT THE FUNNIEST PICKUP LINE YOU’VE OVERHEARD WHILE ON THE JOB?

A

26

Atlantic City, New Jersey.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BARTENDING? Twenty-eight years.

WHAT IS YOUR DRINK OF CHOICE? Coors Light. Or a delicious fresh squeeze from Jonathan’s.

CAN YOU RECOMMEND A HANGOVER CURE? Sleep. Just stay in bed -- always works for me.

MOST OVERRATED / UNDERRATED DRINK? Anything that has to go in a blender… (bartender joke.) Underrated? A good margarita.

Q A Q A

WHICH CLOSING / OPENING DUTIES DO YOU LIKE THE LEAST?

Q A

WHERE DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BAR?

Q

TELL US A QUICK HORROR STORY ABOUT A BARTENDING MISTAKE YOU’VE MADE.

A

I guess cleaning up after. Neither is very difficult.

FAVORITE PERKS OF BEING A BARTENDER? I’ve gotten to meet so many amazing people. I have so many great memories.

And tons of laughs.

I like The Pig ‘N Whistle. I may make an appearance at Coconuts. Casa de Hoffman as well.

I did eat an edible before my shift, once, at a super busy bar.

Q A Q A

HOW MUCH DOES SEXUAL INNUENDO INCREASES YOUR TIPS?

Q A

WHAT IS NUMBER ONE ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?

That only works on chicks.

WHAT WOULD YOU ORDER FOR YOUR LAST MEAL? A big fat steak from Casa de Hoffman… ‘cause let’s be honest. I kill it on the grill. And a crapload of crab legs from Jazzy’s. Mmm mmm!!!

I know this sounds weird, but I don’t really have a bucket list. I live in paradise.

I have an amazing woman in my life (Kelly), a great family, and the best friends in the world. What can I say?

I’m a lucky guy.

Be sure to order a blended drink from Mike when you visit Slow & Low Bar-B-Que at 306 N Orlando Ave, Cocoa Beach.

So many… Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve got “fine” written all over you. Can I follow you around tonight? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

thebeachsideresident.com D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

Do you know of a great bartender and would like to nominate them for Bartender of the Month? Email staff@thebeachsideresident.come and tell us all about them.

OUT & ABOUT

Every Saturday, Candlelight Shopping in Downtown Melbourne, Melbourne Main Street, Historic

Downtown Melbourne invites you to enjoy the sights, sounds and tastes of the Holiday Season! Every Saturday evening, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, shops remain open late, the stores are festively decorated with candles and lights, and serve such holiday fare as cakes, cookies, teas, apple cider, coffee and hot chocolate!

Every Sunday, FREE Brewery Tour, Playalinda Brewing Company, 321-567-5974, PlayaLindaBrewingCompany.com Dec 1 & 2, Winter Art & Craft Holiday Bazaar, Cocoa Village, 321-631-9075,

VisitCocoaVillage.com, Two days of fabulous Arts and Crafts in the streets of Historic Cocoa Village!

Dec 2, Chanukah Snow Festival, Avenues Viera, 321-777-2770, ChanukahBrevard.com,

FREE ADMISSION, Chanukah delicacies and BBQ, Menorah lighting, snow tubing and ice slide.

Dec 7, Holiday Dance, Melbourne Municipal Band, Melbourne Auditorium, 321-724-0555, MMBand.net, Start the holiday season off by dancing to a live 20 piece big band!

Dec 7, Cape Canaveral Friday Fest, Cape Canaveral, 321-868-1226, CityofCapeCanaveral.org Dec 8, Winterfest 2018, Downtown Cocoa Beach, This special FREE event features REAL SNOW!!! Minutemen

Causeway in front of City Hall will have real snow! In addition, the festival will include Santa, a Christmas train, Christmas music, stilt walkers, Christmas train, crafts, vendors and more!

Dec 8, Reindeer Run 5K Run, 8am, Cape Canaveral, Cherie Down Park, 321-868-1226, CityofCapeCanaveral.org, Holiday Costumes Encouraged!!

Dec 8, Cocoa/Rockledge Holiday Parade, 3-5pm , Starts at Rockledge High School, goes through Cocoa Village and ends at Cocoa Riverfront Park , 321-633-1874

Dec 12 & 13, Sleigh Ride Concert, 7:30pm, Melbourne Municipal Band, 321-724-0555, MMBand.net

Dec 14, Movie in the Park: The Man Who Invented Christmas, 7pm, Canaveral City Park, 321-868-1226, CityofCapeCanaveral.org

Dec 14, 11th Annual Messiah Sing Along, 7pm, Space Coast Symphony Orchestra, 855-252-7276, SpaceCoastSymphony.org

Dec 15, Merritt Island Christmas Boat Parade, Merritt Island, 6:30-11:30pm, miboatparade@gmail.com Dec 15, Santa Skydiver, 11am-4pm, The Cocoa Beach

Pier, CocoaBeachPier.com, Skydiving Santas is a unique celebration for ALL ages. Watch several Air Sports Parachute Team members and guests dressed in Santa attire jump out of planes onto holiday inflatables along the shoreline. This event is free to the public.

THEATER

SCHEDULE

The King Center, Melbourne, 321-242-2219, KingCenter.com

Dec 1, The Nutcracker Dec 6, The Irish Tenor Christmas Dec 8, Brevard Community Chorus in Concert Christmas of Light Dec 11, Christmas with Sal ‘The Voice’ Valentinetti Dec 12, A Peter White Christmas Dec 13, The Guess Who Dec 14, Steve Solomon: My Mother’s Italian, My Father’s Jewish and I’m in Therapy Dec 15, Chris Isaak Holiday Tour 2018 Dec 16, Kenny G Dec 22, A Christmas Carol Dec 28, A Sleeping Beauty

Cocoa Village Playhouse, Cocoa Village, 321-636-5050, CocoaVillagePlayhouse.com

Dec 10-11, Elf the Musical JR. Dec 14-16, Galmont Ballet: The Nutcracker Dec 18, Micael Law: Wishes and Wonders Dec 19, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Dec 20, It’s a Wonderful Life Dec 21, Miracle on 34th Street

Titusville Playhouse, Titusville,

321-268-1125, TitusvillePlayhouse.com

Dec 15, Christmas at The Avenues Concert, Space Coast Symphony Orchestra,

Nov 23- Dec 16, It’s a Wonderful Life, The New Musical Dec 7- Dec 16, The Santaland Diaries

855-252-7276, SpaceCoastSymphony.org

Dec 24, Surfing Santas, Cocoa Beach, SurfingSantas.org

Trading sleds For Surfboards, hundreds of “Surfing Santas” to again catch the waves Christmas eve morning in a charity event on Cocoa Beach. Begins 8AM.

December 24th at the end of Minutemen Causeway: Costume Contest - show

up with your board and dressed as Santa, his helpers, or any other character depicting the spirit of the season. Additional entertainment scheduled for the event can be found on the Surfing Santas web page.

Dec 31, New Years Eve @ Grand Manor, Melbourne, 321-425-4598, Enjoy butler-

passed appetizers, complimentary “welcome” drink, buffet dinner with prime rib and dessert. Cash bar open all night long,

Dec 31, New Years Eve Reggae Party, Sandbar, 9pm-2am, Money Balloon Drop, Specials and Prizes, Midnight Champagne Toast, Sandbar.com

DECEMBER 2018

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HAVE AN EVENT TO ADD TO THE BEACHSIDE RESIDENT? EMAIL US AT staff@thebeachsideresident.com

LOCAL SCRIBE

DO YOU SEA WHAT I SEA(WEED)?

December Calendar of Events

Written by Callie Boyer @supercalliefragillistic

If you’ve walked the beach this past summer, as I’m sure most of us have, you may have noticed what many consider to be unsightly (and occasionally acrid) piles of seaweed amassing upon our beautiful, sandy shores. If you’re in that category you may have wondered, why doesn’t the city do anything about it? Surely it’s an eyesore (... and don’t call me Shirley!). It seems like with all those four-wheelers running up and down the beach they might as well just hitch some plows on the front and take care of the problem while they’re at it. It would make the beach more attractive at least, wouldn’t it?

There is a prudent reason why they leave the seaweed on the beach, in case your probing mind has ever wondered.

Specifically, the type of seaweed we’re seeing is a brown algae called Sargassum. It bore name to the Sargasso Sea, which is an area of the North Atlantic bordered only by ocean currents. Sargassum drifts and reproduces freely along the surface of the ocean and provides an extremely important habitat for a variety of marine species at different stages in their development, including turtles, fish, crabs, birds, and more. It can even be eaten by people (if prepared correctly). In fact, some species spend their entire lives supported by the vast, floating mats of algae held buoyant by tiny air pockets called pneumatocysts. If you see it floating by in the ocean, you can pop the tiny little bubbles like plastic wrap, and it’s equally satisfying. It’s not recommended touching the algae once it’s washed up onshore, however, since it may be decomposing, along with the various organisms that once inhabited it.

Rafts of Sargassum can stretch for miles across the Atlantic, carrying the various species attached through the ocean currents and depositing them hundreds of miles from their origin. Once the algae has reached land and washed up on shore it’s called the “wrack line” or “wrack zone” and acts like a buffet for crabs and shorebirds to feast upon.

One of its most important functions, however, is to create a bumper on land that helps to retain windblown particles of sand which prevents unnecessary erosion (and hopefully any further dreadful dredging projects…), which is why the city leaves it be. Too much of a good thing can be bad, however, as it can occasionally act as an impediment to hatching turtles. This year was projected to be a record-breaking year for the Sargassum bloom, and next year has a similar outlook. Now that the seasons have begun to change, the problem isn’t as drastic; however it is an annual occurrence, usually in the late spring or early summer. Just remember that however unsightly, it is a necessary and vital part of our ecosystem.

If you are genuinely concerned about the cleanliness and appearance of the beach, a wonderful and satisfying option is to carry a bag or bucket with you on your next beach walk to collect trash and small bits of plastic washed up in the algae. Even a small contribution goes a long, long way.

#strawssuck #thebeachisnotyourashtray 28

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Happy Hour Everyday MON - FRI 4pm - 7pm SAT & SUN - 11am - 2pm SAT: 1 Live Entertainment 6-10pm

FRI: 21 Greg & Brian 6-10pm

FRI: 7 Ted Villarreal 6-10pm

SAT: 22 The Gemini Band 6-10pm

SAT: 8 Live Entertainment 6-10pm

FRI: 28 Cash Colley 6-10pm

FRI: 14 Ted Villarreal 6-10pm

SAT: 29 Krazy Ivan 6-10pm

SAT: 15 Iris 6-10pm

MON: 31 Vintage 9pm-12am

New Years Eve Party! $25 per person includes:

• Live Entertainment: Vintage Band • Hors’d buffet 9pm - 11pm • Champagne toast at midnight • Party favors Room Reservations start at $79 with late check out, 3pm on Jan.1 Breakfast Buffet Jan. 1 - 8am - 1pm

www.InternationalPalmsCocoaBeach.com 1300 North Atlantic Ave. • Cocoa Beach, FL 32931

LOCAL SCRIBE

New Resources for

Gifts of the Season Written by Gary Roen

The Christmas season is upon us and like always it’s time to think about gifts for friends and family. For many, it’s off to the mall, Best Buy, Walmart, or Target; for others who do not want the drudgery of crowds or long lines there is the option of buying things online from major retailers or Amazon. Still, there is another way that many do not think of, but being an author and book critic I think of this resource first: look for presents by checking out locally owned businesses such as new or used bookstores.

In Brevard we are fortunate to have three wonderful locally owned used bookstores that cater to all tastes of genres. Some would say for a gift it has to be new because there is something about giving someone something used for the holiday that is just not kosher to them. For others, it is the idea that you researched something that a person really will appreciate rather than just handing them an item they most likely will take back. You see, when you know a person’s reading preferences it makes it easier to shop for them.

Research also shows that hard copy books are still popular; in fact, they are making a comeback. E-books are fashionable but for many readers they will never replace the good old book where you can turn the pages yourself instead of on a computer screen. You could even one day arrange to meet the author and have your copy personally signed.

Used bookstores are not trying to compete with the other major retailers but there are several things they all provide much better. They typically provide better customer service because the owners are readers and love to talk books. Therefore, they can suggest other authors or related genres to their clientele to enjoy as well, since they know where each of their sections are located in their stores and many of the titles they contain. With other major outlets the staff often has very little knowledge of what they sell.

For both authors and readers there is another great advantage. Often it is a great resource for readers to learn of local Florida authors as used bookstores promote them better than chain operations. It may also be easier for the author to set up a signing as they are dealing with a smaller establishment and the store will better publicize the event.

The publishing industry is much brighter than in years past and the hard copy book is still a major part of the picture. Another resource are the numerous libraries of the county which have sections devoted to selling used books, CDs, and DVDs. There also may be some others I have overlooked that readers can research on their own. Many of the used bookstores I’ve known are no longer in business, but these are the most current ones I am familiar with: Twice Told Tales (2425 N Courtenay Pkwy Suite 105, Merritt Island, FL 32953 ,(321)848-0511 https://www.facebook. com/TTTMerrittIsland/ is the newest entry opening August this year. Already they are making their mark by holding an ‘Author Meet and Greet’ event on December 9th from 1-3pm to bring together local authors with readers.

Patrick Paperbacks (1867 S. Patrick Dr., (321)777-0170 Indian Harbour Beach, FL 32937 https://www.facebook. com/pages/category/Bookstore/Patrick Paperbacks-113222358691699/ Patrick Paperbacks is the oldest of them all.

Like the others it does local events for readers to get more acquainted with the store and its merchandise.

New Haven Books (403 E. New Haven Avenue Ste. A (321)727-0401 https://www.facebook.com/ newhavenbooks/ Often because Barnes and Noble is on the same road people confuse this one but they are totally different operations. They also hold proceedings many for children to encourage reading.

Another gathering of authors to take note of is ‘Authors in a Box’ on December 8th where readers can meet and greet authors in the Indian River Mall all day. Florida authors will have tables throughout the location for more gift options. For more information people can go to https://www.facebook. com/groups/authorsinabox/.

I hope this has been helpful to narrow down new avenues to take to find the perfect gift. Gary Roen is the author of “Journey: A Collection of Science Fiction Short Stories”, “The Forgotten Father: Coping With Grief”, and coauthor of “Cats, Cats, And More Cats”.

Hand-craft Cocktails, Wine & Full Liquor, Outside Bar, Open for Lunch & Dinner 7 days a week, Street Tacos, Seafood, Burgers, Pizza, Barbecue, Kids menu, Great Happy Hour.

1850 N Courtenay Pkwy.• Merritt Island, FL 32953

Located next to Kelsey‘s Pizza in Merritt island

321.735.4810

www.JackandHarrys.net DECEMBER 2018

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OPEN FOR BUSINESS

Catch More

Waves

with Jet-Propulsion

Written by Jamie Mackenzie @jmackimagery

Goosebumps emerged, and my spine tingled as Gary Lane,

the excitement in his voice when he said, “To catch more waves!”

Another example he shared was surfing legendary Monster Hole at Sebastian Inlet. To reach the line-up you must paddle 1/3 mile through strong currents which could render even the fittest surfers too exhausted to catch a wave. With the Jetson board, you can use low power to get a gentle push and save valuable energy on the way out. “You can also catch waves 10-15 feet further out because of the momentum you receive from the board,” he added.

Gary’s friend, a lifetime surfer, dreamed of creating a jet-propelled board from the time he was a young boy. That idea came to fruition when Gary introduced him to an innovator who helped make the dream a reality. A self-proclaimed “soul surfer”, Gary was surprised to find he caught more waves on the jet-propelled surfboard than the boards he surfed his whole life. However, with every great idea there is a learning curve, and although the first boards were a blast to ride, challenges arose due to the weight and initial design.

Jetson also offers their patented technology on stand-up paddle boards and rescue boards.

President of Jetson Technology, told the epic tale of his 1 minute, 27 second wave at the famous break in Chicama, Peru. Deemed the longest, most perfect, left-breaking wave in the world, the approximate 1.4-mile ride elicits a surfer’s high that cannot be attained at other breaks. Add in the stoke of Gary experiencing it on a board he is so passionate about, and you couldn’t have slapped the smile off his face that day!

When the original company -- for which Gary was a rep -- closed a few years ago, he was unable to extinguish the fire burning inside to produce a reliable, durable, and lighter jet-propelled surfboard.

He searched the world for the right partners and found synergies with a trio of innovators in Spain to produce superior handcrafted boards. The new company found solutions for all the prior challenges.

“We worked hard to find an innovative surf tool for everyone,” he said.

When asked about his motivation to develop these rad boards that give you a boost at the key moments during a ride, you could hear 30

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These boards provide the speed needed to get back to shore in case a brewing storm interrupts your paddle, or for a single rescuer to reach a victim quickly in the event of an emergency. The City of Boca Raton’s Fire Rescue Services Division recently entered into a contract with Jetson Surf Technology to purchase their rescue boards, and inquiries have been received from Palm Beach Fire Rescue and the City of San Clemente Marine Safety Division.

So how would you like to ride the longest, most perfect, left-breaking wave in the world? In May 2019, Gary and his team will begin hosting the surf adventure of a lifetime, where you can join them in Chicama, Peru to create your own epic tale.

Don’t want to wait that long to try them out? If you’re anything like me, you’ve already thought of multiple ways you can personally use this innovative water vehicle to improve your own surfing or SUP experience. Another cool thing about Jetson is you can try any board of theirs you want, anywhere you want for 10 days and return it, no questions asked! Yes, ANYWHERE! Want to try it out at Pipeline?

Go right ahead! Jetson’s customers have tested boards at breaks in Peru, the Maldives, and countless other dream surf destinations.

Amazingly, no boards have ever been returned. They are also developing a trial program for their rescue boards.

So, with winter swells on the horizon, it’s time to think about how to boost your game. Learn more about how Jetson can help at JetsonSurfTechnology.com. #catchmorewaves #builtforspeed #gofast #alwaysinnovating

DECEMBER 2018

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GET FIT TIPS @Suzanne Elliott

Sun Salute BeneFITS Winter Solstice Keep on the BRIGHT side of life as we approach the winter solstice . Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows fall behind you. The term “solstice” is derived from the Latin words, sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still), because the sun’s relative position in the sky at noon does not appear to change much during the solstice. What a great way for every Beachside Resident to show how you #LoveWhereYouLive!

Rise and shine on the coast with a sunrise on the beach, or a sunset on the riverside, moving through a series of body movements called Sun Salutation. Last month we shared 12 basic moves for the Salute to the Sun, also known as Surya Namaskar.

Salute the start of your day with a host of health beneFITs. Start your day saluting the sun that creates life on Earth, and creates more life in every system in your body. If done in the morning, it relieves stiffness, revitalizes and energizes the body, and refreshes the mind to start your day fresh! Do it during the day and it will instantly give you a boost and fire you up. Practice it after sundown and it can help you unwind from your day without using external stimulants.

• Keeps your digestive system moving • Creates an innervation for the nervous system • Assists endocrine glands like the thyroid, parathyroid and pituitary glands, functionnormally • Eases stress and gives you peace of mind • Increases levels of concentration.

It all starts with YOU making up your mind. The key is to get moving! Remember the adage: if you don’t use it, you lose it! No matter your limits -- where there’s a will, there’s a way! Honor your day, anytime, anyway, you can keep on the sunny side of life every day!

RAYS of BeneFITs to Salute the Sun: • Improves your overall posture • Keeps you physically fit (originated from physical culturists in India) • Mobility for joints, ligaments and muscles improves • Improves flexibility and strength • Mentally and emotionally healthful • Improves circulation • Gives you a strong, healthy heart

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Fun Innovative Training offers customized personal fitness and therapeutic Yoga. FIT teaches clients how to incorporate home equipment into their fitness regimen and honor nature. Suzanne has been involved in elderly, kid & teen fitness and Team Training since 1972. She is a Master Yoga Teacher, Health Minister and Life Coach. She and her husband, Joe, live in Cape Canaveral, involved in their city, sponsor Keep Brevard Beautiful Beach Yoga, Walks and Cleanups, and together, own H.O.T. YOGA on the Island, Healing. Original. Therapeutic.

YOGA, established 2006.

LOCAL SCRIBE: VITALISM

Sacred Plants and the Winter Solstice

By Summer Cowhig @passiflorareincarnata Another festive holiday season is near. You may be asking yourself, what is the winter solstice? Quite literally solstice means ‘sun stands still’. It is an astrological event that marks the longest night of the year, when the sun is at its lowest point in the sky.

This year it is on December 21st. The winter solstice marks a time when the darkness is at its deepest. As we shift into shorter days and longer nights, we decorate our homes from the doorway inward, a means of inviting the light inside. For millennia people have recognized this time of deep darkness by lighting their homes with tapers and candelabras. As we tip into the darkest months of the year, we become part of the ritual of calling the light back to earth.

The predominant evergreen plants this time of the year like balsam, mistletoe and fir retain sunlight and stay green year round as a sweet reminder to us that life is forever present and renewable. We adorn doorways and mantles with evergreen boughs.

Our ancestors brought an evergreen into the house to mystically ensure there would be light all year round. Widely known for its holiday cheer is mistletoe. Besides the antiquated can’t-refuse-a-kiss tale, mistletoe is a parasitic plant that doesn’t set roots in the Earth to live. When growing on an oak tree, the Druids recognized this plant as sacred. They would dress in white robes and cut the mistletoe from oak groves with

a golden sickle on the sixth day after the new moon following the winter solstice. Believing the plant would lose its power if it touched the earth, white blankets were laid beneath the trees to catch it. A sprig was given to every family for protection.

Another common winter plant held sacred is holly. Holly was hung in the homes of ancient Romans for winter Saturnalia, a festival honoring the Sun god, Saturn. Holly symbolizes protection and good luck and is used to decorate the house to encourage the dwelling of only good spirits. Holly wreaths are gifted as a symbol of friendship, but beware which comes into the house first! Smooth edged holly signifies the woman will rule the house, but if the rough one comes in first it will be the man of the house!

Winter was a time of death and stagnation in the eyes of early humans. The earth was barren and unproductive, disease was common, and food was scarce. Little wonder they did all in their power to assure the Sun’s return each year. I invite you to honor this new solar year with light. Try a Solstice Eve ritual in which you meditate in darkness and then welcome the birth of the sun by lighting candles and singing chants and carols. If you have an outdoor fire circle, burn an oak log as a Yule log. This season, decorate the inside and outside of your home with intention to bring back the light.

As the world shifts into the shadows, be the light you wish to see.

DECEMBER 2018

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www.Su

KEEP FLORIDA WEIRD BEST RESTROOM IN AMERICA

“WEED HO!” Giant weed bundles washed up on Florida beaches due to Hurricane Florence. The bundles are believed to have come from either a capsized ship, or an airplane drop gone awry, causing quite a commotion.While some beachgoers immediately reported discovering the bundles, others struggled with the decision to either to turn in the square groupers or, perhaps, not... Police have arrested one man in connection to the incident and are still looking for another couple who are believed to have taken a sizable amount. More than 100 pounds were found on Flagler Beach and authorities believe more could wash ashore.

A HOT CUP OF PEE A Florida gas station owner has placed a sign in his store asking customers not to warm urine in the microwave. The store is within walking distance of two labs that offer drug testing services and collect urine samples. The owner says he’s become “sick and tired” of people walking into his gas station to warm their containers of urine. The people who used his microwave to warm urine “walk in off the street, microwave their urine containers then leave.” He said a woman became aggressive a few months ago when he asked her not to warm urine. She asked to see a sign that says it’s not for that purpose, so he made one.

THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!

Did you know there is an “America’s Best Restroom” contest?

Well, there is, and guess where the best bathroom is located?

FLORIDA! The J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge in Sanibel, Florida is the winner of the 2018 America’s Best Restroom.

The restroom can be seen as a “learning lavatory” because it features sculptures of sea creatures and information about wildlife and environmental conservation. The immersive restroom experience earned the wildlife refuge $2,500 in Cintas products and services.

So, the next time you take a road trip near Sanibel, this should be the restroom you seek out when you need a potty break.

“NO ONE PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER.” A woman has been arrested for testing out her dancing skills in Florida. She and another woman allegedly tried to reenact a scene from the classic film “Dirty Dancing” inside a liquor store in Jensen Beach. The two were believed to be intoxicated and causing a disturbance, and the manager successfully got the pair to leave, but one woman returned, trying to buy alcohol. Police said she smelled like liquor and had bloodshot eyes and she was placed under arrest.The “Dirty Dancing” scene the pair was trying to act out was not specified by cops, but it was possibly the famous “lift” in the film’s climax. The woman was charged with disorderly intoxication.

A phony sign language interpreter was used in a press conference in Tampa. When she started signing it was apparent she had no idea what she was doing. A spokesperson for the TPD says he didn’t do his due diligence, and did not question the woman when she showed up as an ASL interpreter.

The woman has several fraud arrests on her record, including one conviction that landed her in a state prison. The TDP spokesperson says he doesn’t know why she posed as an interpreter, and that what she did isn’t a crime, but an ethical violation.

DECEMBER 2018

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HOROSCOPES Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Happy Birthday, Sag! This is your month and your time to shine! Expansive Jupiter, your ruling planet, moves into your eleventh house of friends which means you are coming out of your cocoon and blossoming into quite the social butterfly.

You love to travel so this is a good time to make some plans with someone you’d like to get to know better. You never know; you might be rewarded for your impulsiveness.

Capricorn

Dec 22- Jan 19

Patience is key this month, Cap. You might be feeling a little off-balance, so don’t be afraid to rely on trustworthy friends for support. Misunderstandings are bound to happen but that doesn’t mean you should get discouraged -- just think of it as an opportunity to use your brilliance and creativity to solve any problems that might arise. Persevere through any difficult times and the new year will be full of promise for you.

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

You’ve got your head in the clouds and your friends are starting to ask questions.

Maybe it’s time to let the cat out of the bag, Aquarius. You’ve been all secrets lately but all that attention from a certain special someone has you acting like a giddy school girl and people are onto you.

Don’t let your SO meet the family until after the holidays, though -- you don’t want to scare them away just yet.

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Your New Year’s resolution should be to start saving money, Pisces. You’ve been spending like you’re Beyonce and it’s going to catch up to you eventually.

There’s plenty of opportunity for you to earn Benjamins this month as long as you don’t spend it right away, so keep your eye out for opportunities. Use your sensitivity to sniff out magic and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

There’s plenty of energy to go around this month for you, Aries, but you need to be careful how you express it. Your relationships might be trickier to navigate during this time, but it can be a good opportunity to become closer to the ones you love, so don’t make mountains out of molehills -- unless one of your relatives wants to start something at the dinner table. Then it’s no holds barred this year, baby!

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Taurus

1

Apr 20 - May 20

This is a good time to focus on professional endeavors, Taurus. All of your hard work this year has paved the way for many opportunities to flourish at this time, and now they’re yours for the taking.

Choose wisely.

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

You might be feeling nostalgic for the past year, Gemini, and rightly so. It’s been a great year for you and you have a lot to celebrate. Take time to reflect on your blessings, even if it means skipping the social scene occasionally. Reflecting on the positive changes you made will help you come up with a solid game plan for the new year. Just don’t neglect your professional duties while you’re at it.

Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 20

The holidays are expensive, aren’t they, Cancer? You might be feeling a little like Scrooge McDuck this season, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still show your loved ones you care. After all, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” - Anne Frank.

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22

All of your sacrifices this year are finally paying off, Leo. Your professional life is exploding right now with opportunity.

Don’t blow it.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Looks like cupid might have left something under your tree this year, Virgo! If it feels good, don’t overthink it. Now is the time to break out of old patterns and test what you’ve learned. Don’t be afraid to express yourself romantically -- Mercury, the planet of communication, is on your side. Meet me under the mistletoe at midnight?

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to expand your business horizons, now is the time to start making moves.

Fortune favors the bold, and you never know what you can accomplish until you try. This is a great time to make a fresh start, so make sure you settle any unresolved issues within your family before the new year.

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

You love to win an argument, Scorpio, so try not to ruin Christmas again for everyone this year. Mars transiting through your Sun Sign has ignited your already elevated sense of passion and intensity, so there’s a strong tendency for you to get carried away at the dinner table this year.

Choose your battles wisely.

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By Evelyn Johnson - www.qets.com

ACROSS

1 Heavenly body visible from earth as point of light 5 Distinctive period of cultural or geologic time 9 Indonesian island 13 Evergreen tree 14 Oak 15 Not drunk 16 Volcano 17 Soft mineral used in making baby powder 18 Pieces of stiff paper used to send greetings 19 Hollow brick structure for passing smoke from a fire into the open air

DOWN

1 Eyeglasses 2 Offering 3 Red headed orphan 4 Stack of paper 5 Affirm 6 Shades of black 7 Snake like fish 8 Religious division 9 Brag 10 Abridged (abbr.)

11 Headed 12 Internal Revenue Service 15 Grass cutting tool 20 Invalidated

21 Used in play by children 23 Visit 24 Ship initials 25 Speaks 29 Sandwich 30 All 32 Water closet 33 Roll with a hole 36 Scrimmage 37 Animal’s coat 38 Canal 39 Whiter 40 Ticket 41 Sport’s official 42 Salutation 43 Flexes 44 Rodent

45 Evils 46 Watch chain 47 Evaluate for taxation 49 __ Lanka 50 Unwell 53 Consumer 55 Day on which ordinary business activity is suspended 57 White poplar 60 Garner 62 World organization 63 Birds of peace 64 Eat sparingly 65 Tibia 66 Colorer 67 Chances of winning 68 Weight measurement

22 Outside layer 26 Mischievous 27 Circular 28 Wounds 29 Honey maker 30 Metal objects that make pleasant sounds when hit 31 Tub spread 33 Baseball player Yogi 34 Regions 35 Presents 36 Shopping center 39 Heartbeat 40 February (abbr.)

42 Snake sounds 43 Cook 46 Faces 48 Swiss mathematician 49 Tear up 50 Western state 51 Dead language 52 French city 54 Make over 56 Institution (abbr.)

57 Sum 58 Male child 59 New Year’s _____ 61 Assist

ALBUM REVIEWS

ALBUM TITLE: MOANING LISAS EXTRA CHEESE

ALBUM TITLE: ALBUM TITLE: WILDCAT O’HALLORAN BAND BOBBY BLACKHAT NEW YORK CITY CHILL PUT ON YOUR RED SHOES

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hizmo, The Moaning Lisas were playing, and they were oozing machismo.The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, hoping bottles of Jager, soon, would be there. Big Al, the leadman for the Moaning Lisas, has been playing for over 30 years. If you ever get a chance to see them live, you will discover firsthand that Al Staggs is the consummate frontman. His other band, the Left Wing Fascists, opened for such big names as The Dead Milkmen, Johnny Quest, and Dread Zeppelin. You may recall seeing LWF on Beavis and Butthead back in the day. This new release, ‘Extra Cheese’, has a mix of psychobilly-punk and classic rock, with some funny songs and grinding beats. Lance Bailey on guitar does a great job backing up Al’s vocals. William Frye’s thumping bass gets your feet tapping. “The Anvil” Ron Augustin on drums holds it all together. The opening cut “Kick” is a good jam that tells about a dude with a “kick me” sign on his back. We all have felt that way before. “Shelf Life Baby” gives a nod to JQ as he talks of a girl getting ready to give him the Heisman. “Semantics” is another rocking jam with good bass that gets your head bobbin’. In “I Believe” you can hear the influence the Dead Milkmen had on Big Al as this sounds right out of their playbook. “Widest Trailer in the Lot” is a funny jam that would do well down in Mango Manor. He sings he isn’t impressed with your fishing tackle but your wife is having fun getting drunk. Which leads me to “Four Shots of Jäger ”, one of the best songs I have heard in a long time.A definite new party anthem, especially when he goes Tony Basil and sings,“Oh Jäger you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you blow my mind Hey Jäger! Hey Jäger!” Definitely a great release as there isn’t one bad song on this CD. So spring to your sleigh, give your crew give a shout, tell ‘em get down to ABC so you don’t have to pout. Hear ‘em exclaim, as they hit the throttle, “We need some Jäger!”, so go get a bottle!

Just hear those blues beats jing-a-ling, ring-ting-ding-a-lingdoo, come on it’s lovely weather for a blues jam together with you! The beats are nice and bumpin’ and right for dancin’ in the sand, so let’s boogie together with the Wildcat O’Halloran Band.The Wildcat O’Halloran Band has opened for everyone from Greg Allman to the Stray Cats, they’ve been Bo Diddley’s backing band, and they’ve been keeping the blues alive for over 20 years. Wildcat (guitar and vocals), Kathy Peterson (bass), Emily Duff (sax), Devin Griffiths (guitar, vocals) and drummer Mark Chouinard comprise the lineup. I first got into Wildcat five or so years ago with his great “Midnight Service Call” about a woman who needs some adjustment. Later CDs ‘That Boy Don’t Play No Blues’ and ‘Hot Pulldown’ only further cemented Wildcat’s place as one of my favorite blues artists.This CD starts off with a hot instrumental jam “Van Wyck” where the Wildman showcases his incredible guitar work. “Can’t Get It Like That” is a funny jam about a guy who just ain’t with the modern program, and everything he wants always gets the same reply… ”it don’t come like that.” Wildcat is always a great listen as he offers political commentary and life observations that will have you laughing out loud.

“Cookin’ Mama” is a good cut with Wally Greeney on harp and a nice beat about everybody’s kinda woman, who once you come down to her kitchen you just can’t stay away. He brings back an old Louis Jordan cut, “Saturday Night Fish Fry”, and does a nice job making you feel like you are there in the juke joint throwin’ down. Close your eyes and you will feel like you are at Lou’s Blues. These are good blues, not the kind you get when you walked over to see Jaymie Noe at Cocoa Beach Surf and Skate after a meal at Slow and Low only to find the out-of-business sign on the door.

On “Dumb” he sings about some of the stupid stuff we witness in our fellow humans every day.The CD ends with “Waiting Awhile” which is a nice finisher to a great CD. So let’s play these blues before us and sing a chorus or two, there’s lovely weather for a blues jam together with you.

Well it’s Christmastime, Pretty Baby, and the snow is falling on the ground, put on your red shoes little girl, Bobby BlackHat is back in town. Got no sleigh with reindeer, no sack on his back, you’re gonna see him coming with his big ole pork pie hat! Something old? Revisited original Bobby BlackHat songs.

Something new? Some fresh new cuts. Something borrowed?

Jimmy Reed’s “You Got Me Running” and an instrumental version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” Something blues?

All of it! Having been a big Bobby BlackHat fan from the first time I saw him at a blues festival some 15 years ago, I can say without a doubt that this is his best release yet. Blistering guitars by seasoned veteran Tom Euler add a complexity to the mix that complements Bobby’s seasoned vocals and harp work well. Lucy Kilpatrick tickling the ivories on the Motif 6 takes Bobby to a whole new level. Brian Eubanks on the bass and Michael Behlmar on the drums rounds out the band. The CD starts off with “I Smell Another Man on You”, with him finding out his woman has been filling everybody’s stocking but his. In “Overdose of the Blues” he tells of his journey through the blues, like it is an addiction… and it is! “This Grey Beard” lets his beard do the talking, telling his life’s story; one of my favorites on the CD. “Baby Mama Blues” will have you cracking up as he gives some advice to the young bucks.

Take warning and heed the advice, my brothers! “The Grim Reaper” is another new version of an older Bobby song, and is probably my favorite Bobby song of all time. It evokes images of Jim Morrison and a spookiness that sort of transcends the genre. The songs on this CD are all very different… fast, slow, thumping, mellow… something for everyone. “I Hear My Momma’s Voice” is another oldie that Bobby gives new light to, a song everyone can relate to as he recalls advice Mom gave us when we were younger, and how it has affected our lives one way or another, especially if we did not pay attention.

He’s also released a nice new Christmas song available for free download, “Moonlight, Mistletoe, and You”, sure to get your significant other hot like a bottle of Leo McGinnis’ Smoking Tongues Hot Sauce. So get ready to hang up your pretty stockings and turn off the light, because Bobby BlackHat is coming down your chimney tonight!

wildcatohalloran.com

bobbyblackhat.com

moaninglisas.com

DECEMBER 2018

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