The Black Family Magazine with Dr. Barbara Neely February Special 2023 Edition

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The Black Family Magazine is the first publication of magazines in the field of personal and professional development, wealth building, African American empowerment, and challenging predefined narratives applied to the African American community.

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Our new platform is dedicated to bringing solutions to families in the black community. The platform is designed to expand your awareness, uncover truth, redefine life, renew strength, and help you to build a new legacy of health and wealth for families with intentions of changing the narrative one family at a time.

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Our mission is to break generational cycles and healing from generational hurts, and building generational wealth through personal and professional development.

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Special Message by Guest Editor-In-Chief

DR. BARBARA NEELY

The bond of military spouses is like no other. There is always someone ready and willing to help you adjust and settle into your new duty station, bring you and your family a hot meal, run errands for you when caring for a new baby, or dry your tears when the going gets tough.

Military spouses are some of the toughest spouses I know, and truly the glue that holds the military together. They become a strong backbone, so our soldiers can be front and center.

In this special edition, I am excited to share the stories of a few military spouses and their experiences as a spouse.

Prepare your hearts as we cover a few of the many topics not talked about amongst the military community, such as the mental health of spouses, handling financial issues, transitioning, friendships and divorce.

Sincerely,

Dr. Barbara Neely Guest Editor–in–Chief

DANA SIMS

Military Duos – A Promise Kept, A Dream Realized

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In 1990 two military Army spouses met at Fort Benning Georgia as they embarked on a journey of supporting their husbands’ – Officers Payton L. Sims and Spencer O’Neal.

Dana Sims, survived 4 types of cancer, pulmonary embolism and peripheral neuropathy. Her BFF Kim O’Neal was at her bedside assisting Dana’s journey to recovery – forging a lifelong sisterhood.

In 2008. Dana asked God to save her life in order to teach children that Food IS Medicine.

The two reunited in 2013 at Redstone Arsenal, Alabama. They founded

Head 2 Toe Change LLC in 2014, a private healthcare membership association – guiding members to non-drug solutions and anti-inflammatory food modifications.

In 2017, they founded Lifestyle Journey from Head 2 Toe, a 501 c3 nonprofit Health thru Education© platform serving veterans, children and adults with disabilities.

In 2022, they built a farm school teaching children and adults that We Are What We Eat and how that affects our health. Harvest 2 Table Organic Farm School is phase 1 of 3 for this God given vision. Dana Sims, CEO and Kim O’Neal, C00 encourage you to follow their work at www.lifestylejourney.org.

CAROLYN WILSON

Military families have a hard time with separation and all the transitions that go on in their lives. Yes, they chose this job by wanting to serve and protect their country. I know that you may hear this a lot, but we need to treat the soldiers and their families more respectfully. They all need encouragement. The first book I wrote after supporting my husband of 30 years with 26 years of service, the most I could do was pay it forward for the family members and their children currently suffering a separation. To the spouse of the soldiers, you are not alone in this process on this journey with your soldier. The soldiers need to be lifted with encouraging words or positive messages from

back home, regardless of how badly we want to talk about the not-so-good things in our day; for soldiers to have a successful mission to know that their families were left with great and supportive neighbors. The children are good and thriving in school, but that’s not the news most get when they call home. When moving from state to state or country to country, going into the unknown is hard for the husband and wife and our children. Most of the time, they suffer the most out of the transitions. I wrote “The Trials And Tribulations Of A Military Spouse “ (The Recruiter) about my journey to encourage the next generation. “Julie’s Courage “ for the children. I would like for you to keep this in mind.

Dream Faith LLC (DBA)

Dream Faith Publishing is a family business in Alabama established in 2018 by Mrs. Carolyn Wilson, the CEO/Owner. Later on, the company expanded to include inspirational gifts and merchandise with the intent to publish books and positively impact its readers’ lives.

I felt obligated to write with a voice for all spouses, as well as military spouses, to remind them that they should never be so loyal to someone else that they forget to be loyal to their ambitions, dreams, and self-care. This inspired me to write my first book titled “The Trials and Tribulations of A Military Spouse.”

Carolyn was born and raised in Mississippi. She now resides in Alabama with her husband, who retired from serving in the Armed Forces for over twenty-plus years. Carolyn is not only a loving wife and author, but she is also the eldest of six siblings, mother, and grandmother of seven.

During those 26 years, she helped Military families by being certified to be a part of the family child care Program in her home that offered a

safe, home-like, and loving environment. Making sure the soldiers were at peace when reporting for duty. She believes family is everything. She relies on faith in God to sustain her and keeps Him first and foremost in everything she does.

Website: Dream-Faith.com

Facebook: Dream Faith

Publishing

Instagram: dreamfaithpublishing.com

DR. ANGELA SEAY

Divorce: Bitter/Sweet Trauma/Freedom

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re you in a position or in the process of divorce?

The initial experience of the process of divorce is a massive pain. All signs of divorce are associated and or affiliated with trauma. Things happen in phases, and emotions fly high in every possible direction. You are experiencing the bitter/ sweet and freedom from being in bondage. Bondage of limiting who God called you to be and do to appease the other person.

The onset of divorce, the fact(s), the process of the proceeding, the reality of it happening, the separation of what once was (a comfort zone), signing the documents,

receiving the decree, and a different outlook; (being at the crossroad, you must make a choice). Remain stagnant and drown in pain, or be thankful for the experience, take the road of healing, and start a new life. “A NEW on every level! A new foundation, A new attitude, A new outlook on life, A new lifestyle where self-care is a priority and includes healthy habits, A fresh glow, A new smile, A new walk, A new talk, and the beat goes on.

Dr. Angela Seay, AKA Dr. Angela Ms. D3

Dr. Angela Seay has always retained her hustle and New York state of mind. Educating others is a part of her DNA. Modeling her life after her Mantra, Healthy people are happy people, and happy people show love, Dr. Angela took her passion from academia to

Teaching is her passion, but wellness/fitness is her true love language. Dr. Angela’s method of teaching is just like a three-strand cord. She teaches to elevate the mind, transform the body, and feed the soul. She is a published author, has served on several

wellness advisory boards, and serves in ministry to reach her audience.

Cultivating an environment for healthy living and community is Dr. Angela’s goal. With more than 30 years of experience, this is just the beginning of a dream come true.

Exclusive Interview with Guest Editor-in-Chief

DR. BARBARA NEELY

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r. Barbara Neely is the CEO of Mamas Brown Sugar and a Board-Certified Esthetician. Barbara is passionate about helping other women rise from the ashes of life and helping them discover their God-given talents. She is a two-time Best-Selling author of books, “Finding Joy in The Journey and Joy Comes in The Morning.” Dr. Barbara is an Ambassador for Black Family Magazine and has a show on Rethink Network titled “Reignite with Dr. Barb.”

Dr. Neely has lived and served alongside her ex-husband as a military spouse for 19 years and understands the challenges and what it takes to live as a military spouse. As an ambassador for the Black Family Magazine, Dr. Neely wanted to bring awareness to a few challenges in the military community that get overlooked. Dr. Neely knows first-hand about the struggles with finances, transitioning, depression, and the stress military life has on marriages.

Black Family Magazine: Dr. Barb, tell us a little about yourself and this special edition.

Dr. Barb Neely: It’s funny because if you had asked that question in the past, I would have said, I’m a military wife, mom, and business owner, and told you what I do. While those things were true, they are not who I am. I am a silly, fun-loving person that enjoys many things in life, such as hiking, plays, concerts, comedy, movies, traveling, and spending time with friends and family.

Black Family Magazine: What are some of the topics you will be highlighted in this special edition on military families, and why did you choose those topics?

Dr. Barb Neely: Military life is vast, with many layers to it. Many things are addressed that soldiers and spouses deal with in silence. I also want to say many great things about military life, so I hope to touch on a few of those things in this edition. Areas that I want to touch on are the mental state of the spouses, job security, financial struggles,

transitioning, friendships and divorce. All these are things that need to be discussed in our community.

Black Family Magazine: Tell us about your business, how you got started and how it helps others.

Dr. Barb Neely: I am the CEO of Mamas Brown Sugar, an allnatural, raw, vegan-friendly skincare line. I had no plans to start a business or write books, but God had different plans. While sitting with my mom at the hospital while she was declining from dementia, God gave me a vision of a business named Mamas Brown Sugar and three books to write. Now I did not know what to do with Mama’s Brown Sugar, so upon moving from NC to TX, I started a dog treat business and failed miserably. I then thought it must mean that God wanted me to start a bakery since my mom, grandma and greatgrandmother were all madefrom-scratch cooks, but that wasn’t it either. It was until I started making bath and body items for friends as a hobby that I felt fulfilled. I started Mamas Brown Sugar in 2013 as a hobby, but people started buying

and loving my products. I loved making women feel pampered and loved with products they could trust because they are made with raw and natural ingredients. My business has had its ups and downs, but I’m proud I did not give up. I have been growing in business and my brand and will continue. I have been a part of three book anthologies and have written and completed my first 90-day devotional for military spouses, but I have not published it yet.

Black Family Magazine: Let’s discuss the topics you cover in this special military family edition.

Dr. Barb Neely: First, I will touch on how transitioning from duty station to duty station every couple of years made it tough to build a career and stay at one job any length of time. It also made it hard to build experience because of the short length of time. Once they found out you were only going to be there a few years, many employers hesitated about hiring spouses. Next up, finances were a struggle for many families since the pay was based

on rank. Many people do not realize that military families are eligible for food stamps and receive them. Some families get paid biweekly, and others monthly. I can remember when my ex-husband and I first got married, we did not have much money, and he had just gotten promoted to a specialist in the Army, which didn’t make a lot. I worked at a local bank, and we had one car because we couldn’t afford to buy another vehicle. Back then, seventy-five dollars was a lot to spend on food, and we would start discussing what to put back. Once my ex-husband applied to flight school, got accepted, and finished, things improved financially for us. I’m thankful we didn’t have our son until he was already an officer. It would have been more of a struggle with a baby.

Black Family Magazine: How did transitioning affect your family?

Dr. Barb Neely: There was excitement and anxiety over moving because I didn’t know what awaited us there. Transitioning to a new place meant I would have to quit once again a job that I

enjoyed once, leave friends behind, and start again at the new duty station. The great thing about moving was that all spouses were in the same boat, so making friends was easy. Military kids get used to moving around, and they, too, make friends easily, but of course, it is still hard on them. We hate saying goodbyes, so we would say see you later or soon.

factors for divorce are finances, blended families, growing apart, and raising special needs children. Many couples marry young and start families immediately, not giving themselves to get to know each other or have time together before adding a baby. Unchecked mental issues, depression, and PTSD also contribute to the break in marriages.

Black Family Magazine: Final topic you wanted to cover in this edition was divorce. Why?

Dr. Barb Neely: Divorce rates are extremely high amongst military families for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is the extended deployments that keep the soldiers and families apart for 12 months. During that time, holidays are missed, birthdays, births of their babies, anniversaries, and special milestones. These are all things that can’t be helped and come with the military and being a military spouse. It’s hard on the soldiers and the families. Because of the extended stays away from spouses with no intimacy, there is infidelity for some on both sides. Other contributing

Black Family Magazine: As we wrap this interview up, what advice would you give to newly married spouses?

Dr. Barb Neely: Always make time for each other and dates. Keep others out of your marriage, and don’t share with everyone about your marital problems. I would also add to doing things you enjoy and making time for yourself, even if just an hour a day, to feel safe when the soldiers are deployed. Take care of your family but keep yourself in the process of doing so.

Black Family Magazine: Thank you, Dr. Barb, for sitting down to shed light on military issues not shared within our community.

KIM JOYNER

Kimberly Anne Joyner is a compassionate minister and dynamic teacher of the Gospel. In 1996, she accepted her call into the ministry while living in Schweinfurt, Germany. She teaches in Relevant ways that inspire and empower others. She received her B.S. degree in Psychology and Christian counseling from Liberty University and is a board member of Kingdom Global.

Alliance Ministries. She is also the creator of several

prayer journals for Christian women and men. Kimberly is a veteran of the United States Army and served during Operation Desert Storm.

Her most cherished accomplishment is that of a devoted wife and loving mother. Her heart’s desire is to see others saved, healed, and empowered by the Lord Jesus Christ.

Prayer journals are available on Amazon https://www. amazon.com/author/ kimberly-anne-joyner

My Deployment Story

One of the greatest challenges for a military spouse is deployments. You are concerned about the safety of your spouse, and you don’t know when they will return. As a dual-military couple, it can be even more challenging because you both face the possibility of being deployed.

My husband and I were a dual-military couple deployed during Desert Storm. We saw one another occasionally until his unit relocated. One day, I learned a Scud missile was launched near his location. I wouldn’t rest until I found out if he was okay. I had to find a way to see him. My unit sent a vehicle to his location every week, so I requested to ride up and check on him. My request would probably be denied, but I was a military spouse on a mission!

My request was forwarded to the Colonel. The next day, I received word that the Colonel wanted to see me

ASAP! I expected the worst. When I entered his tent, he said, “I received your request, but all vehicles have been grounded, and no one is supposed to be driving at this time.” Then he said, “But... we have a helicopter headed that way. If you can get there before it takes off, you can go, but you must contact your husband’s unit and inform them you are coming. “And you BETTER be on that helicopter when it returns,” I informed my supervisor and my husband’s unit and ran to the helicopter.

When I arrived, I was relieved to see that my husband was safe and sound. We enjoyed a short visit, and then I headed back to the helicopter; I knew I could not miss it!

I thank God for protecting us and keeping our love alive despite being deployed.

Kimberly Joyner

LUCILLE PITTARD

Bloom where you’re planted. Did you know there is depth in those four little words? Believing in them can mean the difference between thriving, not just surviving, when finding yourself in a new duty station. So says this Army Wife, one with more than 20 moves during 30 years married to my active duty Soldier.

While I’m an introvert by nature, I’ve learned how to put myself out there in order to make connections that can lead to relationships for a season or tour of duty. If I’m fortunate, friendships for a lifetime are made. It’s the latter that I treasure as I’ve been blessed to have a core group of girlfriends,

6, whose ages span 20 years. We reside in multiple states but will think nothing of hopping on a plane for one another should a need arise, both in celebratory and sad ones.

My late mother was a Japanese war bride. One of the ideals she instilled in me was to be independent. As someone who faced hardships in a country not always willing to embrace her, she knew she didn’t want her children to have to endure the same. Did my mother lay the groundwork for that independence? I’m still determining. Instead, I observed, always keeping in the back of my mind to figure out what to do for myself. Asking questions was at the forefront of “How do I do this?” not “Will you do it for me?” I look for like-minded women. Confident women only make me stronger.

After so many years of the military being caught up in a war in Iraq and Afghanistan, resilience became another skill set (mental, physical, emotional) I learned to adopt. If I didn’t, I’d have surely become one big puddle of a mess. Girlfriends helped there, too.

There are many ways to build relationships. Getting involved w/ a positive attitude is first and foremost. Your willingness to work towards a common goal is another. Activities can be found at the unit level, involvement in a church, your children’s school, sports functions, or even the gym. Each can lead to building a personal community. Taking classes to better yourself can be helpful twofold: you’re learning while also gaining confidence and making connections w/ others again. Start a book club, join a craft group, and organize a cooking night for meals prepped in bulk to freeze. The opportunities are endless. But it starts with you. You’re only limited by your imagination and your willingness to put YOURSELF out there.

I believe the saying “It takes a village” is rooted in truth. However, we must all be willing to be builders and contribute to our community’s well-being. The reward is just that, rewarding!

LUCILLE PITTARD

ucille, an Army brat, was born into a military family.

Her story began at Ft Carson/Colorado Springs, CO, but a move to Ft Riley/ Junction City, KS at four helped shape her during those formative years. Lucille’s late mother was a Japanese war bride. It was watching her navigate life on the plains of Kansas that further laid the groundwork for her life’s path.

Lucille, a first generation college student, attended Kansas State University, holding a BS and MS in education. She began her teaching career in 1979 having taught in several states and Germany before retiring in 2013.

Lucille met her husband, Dana, at Ft Riley. Together, they lived and served in five states and spent ten years in three German cities. They recently celebrated 37 years of marriage, with 30 spent as an Army spouse. They’re parents to married sons, Taylor, 29, and Jordan, 27.

Lucille was active at every level of her husband’s military service, oftentimes serving in leadership roles, all while teaching and raising a family. Dana deployed several times while Lucille held down the home front. Lucille is the recipient of a host of military awards for her volunteerism during Dana’s career.

Currently retired, Lucille enjoys traveling every chance she gets from her home in Carmel, IN, oftentimes including girlfriends made during her time as a military spouse. She is a woman of faith and thanks God for His presence in her life.

A favorite quote is: “I am who I am because of the bridges I’ve crossed.” And there have been many bridges crossed!

YALANDA WINSTON

Iwant to motivate the readers to go after their dreams no matter their age, number of attempts, or number of failures. I want to inspire readers to be their authentic selves. I want them to have the courage to take action, make the change & be the change.

I’m a full-time REALTOR ® servicing the Huntsville & Madison, Alabama areas. I am also a referral partner with agents nationwide. I am a Certified Real Estate Negotiation Expert, Military Relocation Expert, member of the North Alabama Commercial Brokerage Association & Vice-Chair of the Huntsville Area Association of REALTOR® Education Workgroup. My niche is modular homes, multi-family & commercial properties. My goal is to help people create generational wealth through real estate. In addition, I strive to ease the financial burden of pre-foreclosures, short sales, inherited

property, distressed property, tax delinquency & liens.

I was motivated to become an entrepreneur again by my husband & the toxic work environment I was subjected to working for the Army in Germany. My husband supported my career as a cosmetologist & would often remind me that I was not cut out to be a W2 worker. After 20 years I finally listened. Furthermore, my daughter wanted to become a dance instructor so I decided rather than her working for someone or leasing a space, I would teach her how to do those things for herself.

My husband, mother, father & brother are working together on various real estate projects to create generationally. I contribute to real estate education & resources. My husband is a safety professional & has extensive knowledge in construction demolition. He also has a strong business sense & holds an MBA. My mother is a liaison & gets a lot of wordof-mouth leads. My father has worked as a maintenance supervisor & HVAC specialist since I can remember.

My brother is a licensed electrician & brick mason.

I was born & raised in St. Louis, Missouri. I am married with 1 daughter & a canine fur baby.

I’m a licensed real estate agent in Alabama & a licensed cosmetologist in Missouri. I also hold a degree in Bachelor of Science degree

in Accounting from the University of Missouri-St. Louis. In addition to being a Marine brat and the wife of an Army veteran; I’ve lived in Germany for 7 years & Oahu for 6 years. Exposure to such a diverse group of people has taught me a lot about different cultures & how to relate to people no matter regardless of their background or social status. As a REALTOR ®, I utilize the communication & empathy skills learned as a cosmetologist, but I also draw from my business & accounting experience to educate & help people make decisions based on facts rather than emotions or assumptions. I’m renowned for my meticulous and thorough approach, resourcefulness, and ability to find creative and innovative solutions.

Website: www.YoWinRealty.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ YoWinRealtyHorizonRealty

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yowinrealty

Email: yowinrealty@gmail.com

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