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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 3 9/6/12 -9/12/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepusc
Gamecocks Blocked from Vanderbilt Stadium staff wrote this Nashville was the site of many frustrated football fans last Thursday, August 30th, but not because of anything that happened on the gridiron. In a new, controversial policy regarding entry to its football stadium, Vanderbilt University is making people who wish to enter answer a general-knowledge question before allowing them into the stadium. The measure was enacted in response to a worrisome trend in which the majority of fans at any given Vanderbilt game were rooting for the opposing team. The rule’s intent is to promote Vanderbilt’s well-known standing of high academic achievement, and make sure that anybody who enters the stadium can measure up to the school’s prestigious scholastic reputation. Every single Carolina fan that traveled to Nashville to root on the Gamecocks in their season opener was denied access to the stadium, leaving hordes of enraged football fans to find some nearby venue where they could view the game on TV. Despite the criticism, the policy seemed to have the desired effect: the lone Vanderbilt football fan who showed up was able to correctly answer his question and enthusiastically cheered on his team with cries of “We can outsmart them!” The new policy does not just apply to fans, however. Football players and coaches alike were posed the same types of questions before they were granted entry to the stadium. The Commodores had no issues, as the entire team and staff easily provided the correct answers to questions such as “What sport are you about to play?” and “What is your favorite color?” “I don’t really know why everyone else had so much trouble with this new policy,” said Vanderbilt starting quarterback Jordan Rodgers. “I don’t really think the questions were that hard. Now, I admit, I almost tripped up on mine—I just couldn’t remember whether there were any silent letters in “dog” or not. But I pulled it out in the end.” South Carolina, on the other hand, struggled with their questions. Especially hurtful was starting quarterback Connor Shaw’s inability to recite the entire third act of Shakespeare’s King Lear. Head coach Steve Spurrier simply threw his visor on the ground and stormed away when he was asked to provide the full taxonomy of the sea snail species Egila virginiae. Things looked hopeful when a Vanderbilt official accidentally read a question intended for a Commodores player to Gamecock de-
Confused Partygoers Can’t Find Booze in Thomas Cooper
fensive end Jadeveon Clowney. Clowney was asked, “What is your name?” only to accidently blurt out “Gerald Dixon!”
for sixty minutes, Yates did the best that he could to keep the score respectable.
“I just panicked,” said Clowney, “everyone was getting impossible questions, and I thought it was a trick.”
“It was kind of hard attempting to snap the ball to myself, escape the pressure, chuck the ball in the air, and then run a good enough route to get some separation and make the catch,” said Yates. “But that was cake compared to trying to block for myself on kick returns. I feel like I performed a lot better in the second half, though. Probably because of that inspirational locker room speech I gave myself at halftime. That really helped me to stick it out ‘til the end.” South Carolina won the game, 35-3.
All told, the only member of the Gamecocks team to make it past security was placekicker Adam Yates, who was able to successfully name the sixty-six moons of Jupiter. Faced with the imposing task of playing one versus eleven football
what’s inside
THey never learnt the Boozy decimal system.
South Carolina Runs Party Train
That Freshman Kid Who Goes Home
Hey, different strokes for different folks.
Because no woman at USC could ever live up to his mom.
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contents page 5: from the streets What’s your favorite food on campus?
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
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page 6: Public Masturbator Hits Bull Street Maybe he thought it was Butt Street?
Table of
page 10: Six Fall Films That Probably Won’t Suck and if they do suck, we’re really sorry about that.
page 11: the black sheep interviews our little chat with Noelle Scaggs of Fitz and the Tantrums.
page 12: bartender of the week Malia from Pinch likes to go 50 in a 35, figuratively.
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Scholar Kitty last week’s answers
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word of the week
Blognosis: Any self-categorized illness one gives him or herself after researching symptoms of diseases on the internet. “Toby gave himself a spinal meningitis blognosis after researching neck pain on WebMD.”
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Confused Partygoers Can’t find Booze in Thomas Cooper usc staff wrote this In an amusing moment of misinterpretation, a group of USC freshmen admitted to wandering around Thomas Cooper Library for several hours Thursday night while looking for the bar area. “Yeah, so some guy in one of my classes told me to head to the library tonight because he was planning on buying everyone free drinks,” one of the freshmen, Alex, said. Everyone in the group wished to remain nameless, but their first names were visible on school ID lanyards hanging around their necks. “But we seriously have looked everywhere in there, and can’t even find where the bar is. I guess that dude was just punking us.” According to reports, the group of four freshmen first approached Cooper’s Corner Café around nine o’clock and inquired about the mysterious do-gooder, fearing that they had already missed their free drinks. The café employee then gave them what Alex described as a “what the hell is wrong with you” look, and asked them to leave. “But, obviously we weren’t going to give up that easily,” said Vince, another member of the group. “This guy was an upperclassman, we had to go and show him we’re cool.” The group proceeded to comb each floor of Thomas Cooper, searching in every study room and hallway for the seemingly secret bar. One freshman, Carl, was assigned to begin pulling every book off of each shelf that touched a wall in case a hidden passageway was concealed nearby.
“It made sense to me,” said Carl. “I’ve seen that in movies so I thought what the hell?” After two hours of searching, the group decided to return to the café, and began whispering potential passwords to the barista. After several failed attempts, and the final whisper and wink of “shitfaced,” the barista called security and had the four boys kicked out. Earwitnesses reported that the students began protesting, begging the guard to please tell them where the party was. “It was kind of pathetic, actually,” said one girl who was present at the scene. “I think those kids might have been high or something though, because they kept raving about trying to find the bar in the library and acting like there was supposed to be a party or something going on. But come on guys, it’s a library.” Once outside, the frustrated boys were almost ready to give up and call it a night after speaking with this reporter, who did not have the heart to point out their mistake. The group did note that they had a couple other places in mind before giving up. “I mean, he might’ve meant the public library,” said Alex. “Maybe if we hurry he’ll still be there, let’s go!” The group then ran off toward the public library, making sure they had all the details of the USC-Vanderbilt game correct so as not to embarrass themselves in front of any of the upper-
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classmen they would surely find at the public library. In other news, The Library in Five Points played host to many happy customers on Thursday night, as an unnamed patron bought free drinks for everyone who stopped by over a threehour period to enjoy the Gamecocks’ season opener.
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What’s Your Favorite Food on Campus? “I’ve only been to Chick-fil-A.” - Steven
“The BK Stacker - as long as that large woman with the mole is working.” - Becca
“Definitely pizza from Pandini’s.” - Rebecca
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
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Public Masturbator Hits Bull Street usc staff wrote this Friday afternoon around 12:30p.m., an overweight Mexican man set his alarm clock early, so he could roll into a parking spot on Bull Street and rub a quick one out in the driver’s seat. A young college girl walking to class spotted the man eye f*cking her through the window of his blue Chevy Trailblazer and immediately reported him to the police. It’s possible that the Hispanic had some extra time on his meter, and decided to pass the time in the most enjoyable way possible, but more than likely it was premeditated. The (more than likely freshman) girl was introduced to the townie population of Columbia in one of the worst, yet most hilarious ways possible. While the girl had the shit scared out of her, things like this should be anticipated here in Columbia. Surely it’s not the first time this has happened around campus, and this isn’t the worst sex scandal to happen on a college campus in the past couple of years. Steve Spurrier was quoted stating that if he had witnessed the sexual incident, he would have reported it to the police instead of looking the other way (cough, Joe Pa). Ever since Pee-Wee Herman was arrested in a movie theatre for jerking it back in 1991, public masturbation has been taken more seriously by law enforcement. While
masturbation inside a car may be considered private to some, as soon as others walking around get a good view of dick, it becomes indecent exposure. Public indecency is one of the only crimes that can either grab the entire Woodlands Pool attention, or get you arrested - depending on your gender. South Carolina law states that it is illegal for anyone to publicly engage in sexual intercourse, appear in public naked, engage in deviate sexual conduct or fondle the genitals of himself or another person. The maximum, but very unlikely, sentence for indecent exposure is three years jail time. On a side note, as long as the nipples and buttholes are covered, the rest of the area can be shown freely. This type of public masturbation is common on college campuses. Incidents like this have been reported in New Haven and Brockport. There are certainly better places to masturbate around campus than in a car. For example the Strom parking lots outside the pool or gym, or better yet, just watching good ‘ole porn normally does the trick. Bull Street is not, and will never be, a safe spot to churn your butter. USC police are currently in search of the public masturbator and have probably already given up on the search - as
is USCPD standard procedure. The man has successfully gotten away, but not without the unfortunate end result of blue balls. If anyone sees this Mexican masturbator around campus, whether harming anyone or not, they are encouraged to call the Crimestoppers at 1-888-CRIMESC. Or if you don’t mind him pleasuring himself to you, take it as a compliment and just keep walking.
The Top ten
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
things to steal from parties You head in to a party, hand over $5 for a cup, and drink out of their quickly-disappearing, lukewarm keg. You’re not getting much bang for your buck, so snagging yourself a little gift on the way out makes it all a bit more worth it.
10. Cups and Shot Glasses: Point blank: You can never have enough. Stealing these from a frat is basically just a shadier way of saying, “Thank you for supplying my party next weekend, you will not be invited.” 9. Toilet Paper: As a chick, there’s nothing worse than stopping to pee on the way home and having to squat against the side of a building. It’s even more fun when there’s nothing to wipe with, and then you feel all wet and hobo-y for the rest of the night. Stealing a roll is convenient, and no one will really give a crap if you do it.
South Carolina Party Runs Train staff wrote this What does it take to throw a party at South Carolina? A topless chicken fight, hundreds college students, and copious amounts of alcohol works pretty well. Although it began with the purest of intentions, the Woodlands back-to-school bash raised the bar for what it takes to be awesome. Fellow Gamecocks, we have official won the title “Party Kings of South Carolina.” There’s only one problem, a problem that plagues many parties: the sausage fest.
The Princeton Review ranks the University of South Carolina as #17 on its list of infamous party schools, so a reevaluation may be in order. Between the annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration in Five Points, and our historic home game debauchery, it is evident that we Gamecocks will throw down for no reason other than to simply throw down. This suggests something about the Carolina character that the bitchy nerds at the Princeton Review overlooked.
One student, who declined to disclose his major or standing, was keen to note that the pictures of the party are misleading. In fact, there were more than two girls in the Woodlands’ pool, but only two that anyone gave a shit about. A YouTube video confirms that less than a minute into the chicken fight, boobies were on full display. Of course, The Black Sheep has a very much pro-boobies stance, the only problem, according to an eyewitness was, “the hundreds of horny guys trying to grab that beautiful rack.” Blame sorority rush all you want, but next time we have an epic party, more girls must be caught on camera.
When reached for comment on their school’s raging abilities, Clemson insisted they “partied hard” and liked to “drink, like, so many beers.”
USC’s newspaper, The Daily Gamecock reports that the “rowdy, booze-soaked, Girls Gone Wild-esque pool party at the [Woodlands] on Friday” attracted nearly 800 students, although no official count was made. Despite the opulence, grandeur, and downright hella-f*ckingawesomeness of the festivities, reactions have been mixed among the South Carolina community. Jerry Brewer, Vice President of Student Affairs is quoted in the Gamecock as having concern for what students do on private property. Brewer, who has executed a successful career in closing down fraternities that violate the university’s draconian alcohol policy, was fortunately not in attendance. Among the student body, some reflect on the party at the Woodlands with wistful romantic nostalgia, while others lambast the debauchery. The mixed reaction from the student body indicates that while some students are dedicated to having a good time, others lack the capacity.
One Tiger-lover in attendance shamefully admitted, “Yeah, at Clemson we try to party, but we have never made Tosh.0’s blog.” He continued to admit, “there’s just nothing to do in the middle of Bumf*ck Nowhere, South Carolina.” An intoxicated Carolina student then shouted: “That’s right kitty cat! You can’t touch this shit! We run this state! Woooooooo! F*ck yeah!” before ripping her shirt off and challenging people to a chicken fight. However, South Carolina’s infamous party scene faces many new challenges in the upcoming semester. University officials, local law enforcement, and other squares have converged in an attempt to put a stop to the fun. Although one local SLED officer disclosed to The Black Sheep that while he was in college he spent his time snorting cocaine “off the ass of every bitch I could f*ck,” he emphasized the importance of sobriety and studious dedication to academics among the student body. To explain, he noted that he “did it all” but is now “dedicated to making sure that nobody ever gets a better story than [his].” That, he said, was the chief reason he decided to become a police officer. He also has a tiny penis. We at The Black Sheep, can only hope that next year the Princeton Review will rank us #1, despite the combined efforts of authority figures. Only time, and more boobies, will tell.
8. Random Knick Knacks: The stranger the stolen item in your pocket, the better the conversation starter it is. Head in to a party with plans to walk away with the oddest piece you can get your hands on. Look for bobble heads, Nintendo 64 controllers, artsy coffee mugs, or massage oils. Bring it out to the bar and see how many numbers it helps you get. 7. Clothes: Girls and heels, boys and hats; they usually get ditched within the first five minutes. And everyone makes the mistake at one point of bringing a North Face to a party and “hiding” it behind the couch. Keep an eye out for this stuff and expand your wardrobe in just one night! 6. Money: It’s unoriginal and basically a felony, like embezzlement. But really, it’s boring and makes you the scum of the earth. If you sink to this, just donate it to a local charity or pass it off to a Five Points bum. You’re both going to spend it on booze, but they don’t have a mommy supporting their habit. 5. Lawn Chairs: Not only are these things beyond easy to casually grab and walk away with, they’re also totally practical. Who isn’t going to want to sit down at some point in their life? Having more chairs on hand in your apartment means you can finally go out and make some more friends, what with all of that seating room. 4. CDs/DVDs/iPod: Selling these on the black market is a quick way to make some money without prostituting yourself, but that whole gig is overplayed. Christmas is in a couple months, and between now and then you’re bound to have some birthdays sprinkled in. Stock up on some copies of the latest Now That’s What I Call Music! CDs, because that’s a gift that anyone would love, right? 3. Food: Instead of heading to Jimmy John’s on the way home for a $7 sandwich, save yourself some money tonight. It’ll be a little difficult to do at a frat, but if you find yourself at an apartment rager, it’ll be pretty simple to pop open a cabinet and snag a bag of chips without anyone noticing. “It’s cool bro, I live here.” 2. Alcohol: Rolling a keg out of a frat house it too obvious, and free beer during rush is too easy. Find yourself a chubby girl and have her help you smuggle a handle out under her shirt. From this point you have two options: Finish it off by yourselves or find a druggie in a bar’s back alley and try to trade it in for some drugs. The second choice might involve sexual favors as well, but that’s the whole point of college. 1. Someone’s Virginity: Ah, the only theft that actually comes with a bonus gift: offspring!
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The Grid
Back
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SPECIAL NIGHT
Every Day Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Tuesday Boozeday! $2 Domestics
EVERY DAY! Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon/Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
THURS 9/06
Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Tweet for Treat (specials list) Live DJ: 5 Points Largest Dance Party
Lucky’s Live After 5 Outdoor Series - All Ages Welcome with John Satterfield and his Damn Fine Company with opener The Rival Brothers Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
FRI. 9/07
Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Freaky Friday with Live DJ
DJ Battle with Andre and Brian! $4 Goldschlager Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
SAT. 9/08
Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
SEC Saturday
Dell Castillo and Friends Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
SUN. 9/09
Closed
NFL Package!
$1.50 House Liquor, $5 Grandma $5 Rumplemintz Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
MON. 9/10
Wine Night! $3 Glasses of Wine All Night Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
$1 Wells NFL Monday Night Football
$2 Ultra & Blue Moon, $4 Fire Ball Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
TUES. 9/11
Taco Tuesday! $5 Taco Basket Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Tuesday Boozeday! $2 Domestics
$2.50 Yuengling, $2 Tequila, $3 Virgil Kaine Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
WED. 9/12
Corn Hole Tournament @ 8:30 PM Winner Gets $30 Bar Tab Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Whiskey Wednesday! $2 Bourbon Free games with Drinks!
$2.50 Mich. Ultra, $3 Wine, $4 Fireball Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
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EVERYNIGHT! $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots
SPECIAL NIGHT
Pint Night! $2.50 All Pints $5 All You Can Drink Tall Boys $1 Busch Light
Pint Night! $1.25 Domestic and $2.00 Imports
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1/2 off Sangria Night $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - 2am
THURS.
$1 Busch Light $7.50 All You Can Drink Tall Boys $2 Corona and Corona Light
Oyster Bar! $2.50 Vodka and Bourbon and $0.50 Oysters
$0.99 Beers, $0.99 Shots - Always Loud Food, Tasty Music
$2 House Liquor $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - 2am
FRI.
$1 Busch Light $7.50 All You Can Drink Tallboys $3 Import / Craft Bottles
Music Trivia at 10:00 pm
$0.99 Beers, $0.99 Shots - Always Loud Food, Tasty Music
$2 House Liquor $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - 2am
SAT.
Closed
Crablegs - 3 Clusters for $12.50
Closed
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SUN.
Service Industry Night - 50% off! (Excludes house liquor, $1 Beers and Tallboys) $1 Busch Light Every Day!
Shrimp Special! Fried or Boiled for $0.30 Oysters for $0.50
$0.99 Beers, $0.99 Shots - Always Loud Food, Tasty Music
$1 Margaritas and $1 Bud Light 20% off of your dinner with a student ID $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - Midnight
Oyster Bar! $2.50 Vodka and Bourbon and $0.50 Oysters
$0.99 Beers, $0.99 Shots - Always Loud Food, Tasty Music
$1 Margaritas and $1 Bud Light 20% off of dinner with a paystub $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - Midnight
Trivia at 9:00 pm
$0.99 Beers, $0.99 Shots - Always Loud Food, Tasty Music
$1 Busch Light
$2 Corona Night $2 Margaritas, Bud Light, and Tequila Shots Happy Hour Specials 4pm - Midnight
WED.
BINGO! $5 All You Can Drink Tallboys, $1 Busch Light
Service Industry Night!
TUES.
$2 House Liquor, $2 Tall Boys $3 Van Gogh Vodka
College Night!
MON.
FRIDAY: $1 Busch Light $7.50 All You Can Drink Tall Boys $2 Corona and Corona Light
6 Fall Films That Probably Won't Suck
Summer is sadly over. This spells the end of the summer blockbuster. The Avengers, Amazing Spider-Man, The Dark Knight Rises, and other non-superhero films that people probably cared about all came out this summer. There are no more huge hype machines screaming at us from every conceivable media outlet what to go see. That three minute trailer could contain the only entertaining three minutes out of the entire film. Here we have a list of six good looking flicks coming this autumn. We give you the basic gist of their plots, what you can expect if it's a hit and what you can expect if it's a stinker. By: Michael Mattucci
Dredd 3D - September 21
Frankenweenie - october 5
pitch perfect - october 5
Based on the 2000 AD comic-book character, Dredd is a member of a police force of the future called Judges who have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner. They are the law. After the 1995 Sylvester Stallone catastrophe known as Judge Dredd, this movie should easily hurdle the low-set bar left by Mr. Sly’s goofy turn as a roided-out future Rambo. However, while it will undoubtedly be an improvement from its 90s counterpart, on its own merits it could still fail to impress. It’s a simple story, and for it to work the direction and performances need to be on point, lest it turn out to be a Michael Bay-esque action orgy.
Tim Burton remakes his own 1984 short film, this time going for the stop-motion he’s so famous for (even if he didn’t actually direct The Nightmare Before Christmas). The main character, Victor, loves his dog so much that he finds a way to bring him back to life! Shenanigans ensue as he tries to keep his creation a secret from the rest of the neighborhood. And no, he doesn’t have sex with the dog, why would you even think that?
A musical comedy about a group of misfits who form an all-girl a capella group to compete against the boys? Clearly it’s a Glee/ girl power! cash-in, but could the student surpass its master? Glee has always been a “you love it or you hate it” program, but many Gleeks are losing faith in the show. Pitch Perfect looks to plummet down the forgettable movie musical hole, joining the ranks of Hairspray and From Justin to Kelly. If it doesn’t, we’ll sing its greatness from the mountaintops, because who doesn’t need more ridiculous musicals full of singing teenagers? It’s just like real life, minus the social awkwardness and bacne!
By reworking one of his earliest concepts, Burton has the opportunity to get back into form with a dark but family-friendly comedy that also tugs at your heartstrings. Remember the emotional rollercoaster that was Dark Shadows? No? Well, neither do we. Oh well, at least he’s not bringing his wife, Johnny Depp, and his mistress, Helena Bonham Carter down with him this time.
Paranormal Activity 4 october 19
The Man with the Iron Fists november 2
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 | november 16
The exact plot is being kept under wraps (probably because it’s the exact same plot as the other three films), but Katy and her nephew Hunter, both missing since the events of the first two films, are now living next door to an unsuspecting family. These movies certainly stick to what Edgar Allen Poe called a “singular effect.” But just as Saw through Saw XXVI proved, many consumers love being force-fed the same scare tactics. And while they do try and change the game a little with each installment, overall we can’t imagine this film will change your tune if you disliked the first three. And if you disliked the first three, why do you keep coming back? PHONY!
This is a story of a village in nineteenth-century China banding together to fight off a larger threat. Don’t come to the theater expecting any level of historical accuracy. The Man with the Iron Fists looks to be a crazy over-the-top kung-fu action film with its own unique style brought to you by RZA, one of the most prominent members of the Wu-Tang Clan. However, he only co-wrote the film. His partner in this endeavor? Eli Roth, whose writing experience centers around the teenagers he brutally tortures in his gore-porn films. So let’s hope he didn’t help with the dialogue this time around. Here is a Rothian gem from Cabin Fever, in case you’re not familiar with his genius: Paul – “Why would you wanna kill squirrels?” Bert - “‘cause they’re gay.”
This made it on the list because regardless of the hate it gets, the franchise has a huge fanbase that throws its parent’s/boyfriend’s money at it. A success is a success. It’s Twilight - no further introductions needed. If you’re a Twilight fan there’s pretty much nothing I can say to make you want to go see this any more or less than you already do. As for the people being dragged to this by their significant other, one can only hope that the film comes full-circle from terrible to terribly entertaining. Otherwise, constant remind your partner of the sexual courtesies they owe you for actually seeing this.
the interview
fitz & the tantrums
Noelle Scaggs, lead female vocalist for the indie soul band Fitz & The Tanturms, may be technically considered a “tantrum” in the band, but her powerhouse voice makes her the feistiest of them all. We had the chance to chat with the singer about performing love songs, being the only chick in a gaggle of guys, and, of course Ryan Gosling. Check out their hit album, Pickin’ up the Pieces while you wait for their newest album in 2013. By: Jess Sommers The Black Sheep: How did you get to know Michael Fitzpatrick, and how did Fitz & The Tantrums get started? Noelle Scaggs: Michael had been going through a really bad break-up and he wrote the song “Breakin’ the Chains of Love,” which was kind of his first song he had written with this Motown style. He called up John Wicks, a mutual friend of ours and our current drummer , to help develop more of these types of songs, which turned into our first EP, Songs for a Breakup, Vol. 1. So I went to the rehearsal studio and the first rehearsal we all just really jelled, mine and Michael’s voice jelled really well together. It felt like we had been performing for a long time. The beginning stages were really cool because it was a rare happening, you know, finding musicians who can really play and you have this moment of knowing this works. You’re not really sure where it’s going to go, but it really worked out. And everything with the band kept falling into place. We just kept getting offered gigs , and then came people who wanted to manage us. We had been together for six months before we go an offer for our first tour, with Hepcat and Flogging Molly, then came touring with Maroon 5. It was really special . TBS: A lot of your songs have to do with love and heartbreak. Tell me a little bit about the songwriting process. Noelle: On the new record we’ll all just get together and kind of jam out. The guys will send a track and Michael and I will build from them; I’ll create the lyrics and sometimes I’ll do the melody, or we’ll go back and forth. It’s just a melting pot of ideas that happen. I’ll write some stuff at my house and send it to Michael, he’ll vibe off of it and decide if he likes it or not, and vice versa. It’s a very collaborative effort. With Picking up the Pieces, because of the situation of Michael coming out of love, the entire story of that record was about breaking up and trying to get through that process. When I came to the table and brought that female dynamic, it became the two sides of the tale instead of just being about the male heartbreak. You get that female side as well which really dominates on stage. [Michael and I] have a really cool dynamic. TBS: So how do you like being the only girl in a group of guys? Noelle: I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’m used to being the only woman in a lot of bands. In my former band I was the only woman as well, and I was the front woman, so I’ve gotten used to it. You do have those times where you miss having a woman around. Thankfully, one of our managers is a woman and she comes on tour with us, so it gives me a nice break from being around all the guys all the time. But these guys are really amazing people, they’re really mature, it’s not like I’m touring with a bunch of teenagers who don’t really understand the business. We’re all good friends, we all respect each other, and, for that, it’s really cool. They’re very sensitive to me being the princess of the group. TBS: You personally have collaborated with a ton of different kinds of artists. Who are some of your favorites? Noelle: I really enjoyed working with will.i.am. He’s a really interesting character in the studio in that he just lets you go, he lets you flow, and the minute that he hears something good he’s like, “I want you do that.” He’s always been this really cool person to just jam out with and try to develop ideas and not really think about what’s going to happen. You just try things and have fun with it. I’ve always really enjoyed that about him in the studio, like I could just be playing around with something and he’d be like, “Go do that!” TBS: What are some things you always have around when you’re getting ready for a show? Noelle: Slippery Elm, it’s basically a root that comes in capsules that Michael and I drink in a tea, especially during cold season. I always, always, always have my watch. I don’t really like having my phone on me constantly, and that’s the reason why I bought the watch, so I know how much time we have before we go on stage. TBS: If you were stuck in an elevator for 24-hours, what one person would you ideally like to be stuck with? Noelle: From the music stand point, Thom Yorke. Also, maybe Ryan Gosling. I wouldn’t mind being locked up in an elevator with him, that’d be cool.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
bachelorette
in theaters september 7
Yes, it's similar to the Kristen Wiig classic Bridesmaids, but who doesn't love a good tale of a bunch of gals gettin' together and having a good time (aka, getting drunk at a wedding)? Plus it stars Rebel Wilson, the hilarious Australian lass who is definitely going to say an inappropriate thing or seven throughout the film.
The xx - coexist
out september 11
British indie group The XX are back with their much anticipated second album Coexist. They broke out way back in 2009 with their critically acclaimed self-titled debut, releasing great single after great single. Coexist is a danceier album than the subtle, sexy tunes that we're used to, but it's still going to be awesome.
the mtv video music awards
thursday, september 6th at 8pm
It ain't The Grammys, but it's a hell of a lot more interesting. Comedian Kevin Hart hosts this year's event, and the potential shenanigans is what gets us most excited. Will Kanye propose to Kim? Will Carly Rae Jepson be recognized as a real artist? Will Skrillex flip that hair around on stage to accept the first EDM award? We're just dying of anticipation over here.
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bartender of the week Malia s. pinch What is your favorite shot to make here at Pinch?: Definitely the Cookies n’ Cream shot! How long have you worked at Pinch?: Since I turned 21 back in April. Did you work at any bars before this?: Nope! This is my first. Do you have any crazy stories from working here?: Yes! A couple months ago two people were literally having sex on the bench in the bar at closing. Our bouncer had to pull them off each other, it was ridiculous! Ever seen a crazy fight working?: Not really, one time a bum walked in a tried to fight me, but a regular threw him out. After you get off work, what’s the first bar where we can find you?: Bar None, always! It’s the best place to late night in Five Points. On a scale of MPH, how drunk do you normally get on a night of work?: Haha 50 in a 35! What’s the best night to find you bartending?: Thursdays, its pint night and all you can drink tall boys!
the drinking game
Candyland So maybe we’re trying to hold onto our childhood, or maybe we just find pleasure in corrupting childhood games. Either way, this game is bitchin’. What You’ll Need: Candyland board game, alcohol of your choice, beer. Number of Players: 4 Level of Intoxication: You’ll be trying to get Princess Lolly and Queen Frostine to skinny dip in the Ice Cream Sea.
Recipe for Disaster
Cereal Fruit Pie It’s hard getting away with eating dessert for breakfast, but lucky for you we’ve come up with an airtight recipe that will have you cramming sugar down your gullet on a daily basis. What You’ll Need: Fruity Pebbles, strawberries, cool whip, butter, plastic bag, 9 inch pie pan. Cook Time: 30 minutes Fatty Factor: You’re basically eating a stick of butter, so take that for what it’s worth.
How to Play: - Set up your Candyland board game and stack your shuffled cards together in a pile. - Set up four shot glasses and four cups of beer. - Players must choose a color that will remain theirs for the rest of the game. - First player must draw a card and move to the closest corresponding color. - If the color on the card matches the player’s color, they can move ahead to the closest square of that color. This player also chooses one other player to chug a beer, one second for each square the piece moves forward. - If the color on the card is not their color, they must move backward on the board to that color and chug beer for one second for each square the piece moves backward. - The player then sits on that color until they pull their color, taking a shot every turn they don’t.
Let’s Get Baked: - Fill a large plastic bag with Fruity Pebbles. - Smash the bag until all the cereal is crushed to little pieces. - Combine ½ cup of butter with the cereal in a bowl and microwave until the butter is melted. - Stir until all the butter and cereal is one hot primordial soup. - Take your “pie crust” and lay it down on your buttered or non-stick pan. - Place in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes, take it out and let it sit for another 10 minutes. - Once cooled, fill the crust with cool whip. - Pop in some cut-up strawberries. - Dig in!
The Game Ends When: Someone reaches Candyland or someone gets Gloppy all over the board.
You might think because it has the word “pie” in it that it must be a dessert. Well, it also has the word “cereal,” and therefore you can eat it for breakfast!
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That Freshmen Kid… Who Goes Home usc staff wrote this The Black Sheep has spent the beginning of the school year examining several stereotypical freshman. Of all the newbies we’ve discussed, this is the one we understand the least. He exists in the social shadows, never seen smashing pong at hour parties or trying to sneak into somewhere in the Five Points. Meet our newest freshman of the week, that kid who goes home every weekend. This freshman might be the biggest loser of all. At least all the other freshmen douches experience Columbia’s plethora of bars, pools, and good times. But no, these notorious homesick babies never go out and experience the best parts of being a Cock because they need to go see their 16-year-old high school girlfriend, have their mommies do their laundry, or just to be back in their old bed. It’s as though they walk around with a scarlet “L” on their chest—proud of being a loser. Screw. That. Shit. The best part of college is finally being free from parental supervision, and indulging in the many temptations that surround us. However, some of these freshmen can never unlatch themselves from their mommy’s tit. We can’t knock anyone for going home once in a while to get a little rest, do some laundry, or just to see friends and family. But there is no excuse to go home every weekend, throwing away your college experience as though it’s little more than a used condom, not that they’d know what that’s like.
Sure, everyone gets homesick at some point, but if you miss home that much, then you simply suck at conversing with people who aren’t from their hometown. Even worse, if the go-homer happens to be a pledge, he’ll face some serious consequences. There’s nothing worse than a pledge who thinks up any and every excuse to go home and miss whatever he was going to have to do with his new “brothers.” These freshmen always dip out of town right when the brotherly bonding is about to commence. Whether it be a dog’s birthday, the death of a great aunt, or the third best D-4 high school rivalry game, these home-goers don’t receive an ounce of respect from any of the kids they are paying to be friends with now. The most frustrating type of freshman who goes home is that dime piece in your dorm who never seems to enjoy Columbia’s best qualities quite like all the other girls. Usually these girls go home for some sort of boyfriend who didn’t make it into college, and is the lunch shift assistant manager at Shenanigans. We don’t give a shit if you guys have been dating since sophomore year and he took your v-card, you should try going to Five Points instead of going home to see a movie with your “boo.” Not only is being caught up in your old high school life of parental supervision counter-productive to your social life
here, it is harmful to the social life far into the future. Here at South Carolina, we are blessed with an intricate social atmosphere that allows us to build lifelong social (drinking) skills. The popular AMC television series Mad Men shows how much drinking is involved with real (1960’s) business. Why do you think our business school is ranked so high? Most of our graduates can handle a goddamn whiskey on ice. So freshman, get out there, forget home, and learn some business skills.
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the seek and find
how many can you find? email us all the secret locations and win a prize! puzzles@theblacksheeponline.com
the classtime
totally tailgating
Across
4) ESPN’s Saturday morning gig. 8) You can thank them for setting it all up, usually. 9) 50% of the time you don’t make it here. 12) Basically bags. 15) The OG drinking game. 17) The act of making extremely delicious things. 19) Throwing bolas. 20) A bro’s tailgating uniform. 21) A handstand with help.
7) Huge, cheap, and everyone centers around it. 10) A real badass brings this RV. 11) The whole reason you do this, supposedly. 13) One shot of beer every 60 seconds. 14) Brought attention (and cameras) to tailgating. 16) A standard starting time, in the A.M. 18) Keeps that beer so kool.
Down
1) We can think of a sunny tune about this game. 2) Ladies will dawn these with their school’s logo. 3) Fat-free, but not booze free. 4) With beans, or without. 5) Burgers, hot dogs, brats... bacon... 6) Pairs nicely with chips.
Answers
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Disclaimer The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
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