The Black Sheep
roo Fr mm ee. ate .. lik 's l e yo eft ur ove rs. ..
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 20, Issue 15 5/3/12 - 5/10/12
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24 Hours in IHOP: My Journey john wrote this The following is a recollection of true events from 5:00PM Saturday the 26th to 7:00AM Sunday the 27th. Enjoy! 5:00PM: I have entered IHOP with my roommate. I have in my possession 2 5-Hour Energy shots, $25 dollars in cash, house shoes and a notebook. My plan is to stay here for 24 hours and simply survive. I have heard that many unspeakable horrors take place here and I plan to record them. My waitress has been tipped off to my mission, however she’s cool with it, so I will move ahead. I order all-you-can-eat pancakes. I plan to take advantage of the all-you-can-eat deal and feed myself for as long as possible for as little as possible. 5:30PM: I have conducted my first interview of an employee with several tattoos who looks like she’d cut anyone. She tells me the story of her worst customer who was an old woman that is now deceased. She would order crispy chicken strips every time without the crispy but would have employees read the entire menu to her anyway because she claimed she was blind and would never tip. I laugh at her annoyance. My meal has arrived. 7:00PM: I have entered a food coma. I am unable to say more than three words without taking a breath. This native diet has left me sluggish and tired. Thankfully, a friend has smuggled in two shots of Jim Beam for me to make it through the night. I will attempt to last more than ten minutes before taking them but I can make no promises. My shirt is moist. I’m not sure if I’m sweating or lactating. This amount of breakfast food is beginning to have unknown side effects on me. 8:00PM: I have taken my first poop and to my chagrin it is a single bathroom. It looks like someone has given birth in here. I have now heard every single song on the IHOP playlist. It is a loop of only fifteen songs ranging from “Fireflies” to “Benny and the Jets.” 10:00PM: I have now memorized the lyrics to “Benny and the Jets” and can already feel my grasp on reality slipping since my company left. I have named the salt shaker D-Dawg (after my barber) and the pepper shaker Professor Nips. They share a humble flat in the hills. They are quite the saucy pair. 10:40PM: The manager has found out what I am doing and instead of being confrontational he is more excited than I am. I guess because of my youthful vigor I embody all his failed hopes and dreams. Unfortunately he has found out I am a comedian and has told me a horrible joke claiming that “I could totally use it if I want to.” I almost wish he had kicked me out. 11:00PM: The manager has just tried to instruct someone who knows two sentences of English how to bus tables. I feel the other busboy’s eyes staring at me, willing me to just leave already. He wants to clean my table but he is unsure of what to do. I’m proud of the sticky syrupy mess on my table, and I’ll be damned if he tries to take that away from me. 12:00AM: They have changed the radio station at last, but it has switched to a country station. I am now truly in hell. The graveyard staff has entered the IHOP and I decide to classify them as such: obnoxious laugh girl, washout/bad humor manager, sassy black girl, trailer park fat girl. There are four drunk middle-aged creeper guys behind me. Sassy black girl is taking their orders and decides to sass them; they love it. They
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claim one of their friends has abandoned them to hook up, and send the betrayer pictures of people holding a napkin sign they made saying, “You are dead to us.” Sassy black girl agrees to hold the sign. 12:40AM: Finally, rap music. I am now motivated. I have concluded the interviews and have found out that if IHOP were a real person they would either be: “an accountable truck driver, a fat maid dripping in honey, or Chef from South Park.” I have also found that if a pancake could talk, people would still eat it because: “I’d blow that shit up, I don’t take no sass, and only if it was lippy.” 2:00AM: The party crowd has finally stumbled in, to my delight. Some of my friends join me at the table to order food and are sassed by sassy black girl who from this point on shall now be referred to as CrazySass. I am also now known by the staff not as Mc”Honey”Combs but as Mr. 24 hours. There are a million sexual puns to be made, but I will spare you. When asked what he wanted to order a drunk man responded with, “As much toast as you can give me.” I pray they bring him an entire loaf. 3:00AM: My drunk friends have departed, and CrazySass has somewhat redeemed herself by showing some slight courtesy to my friends. The stomach of the portly woman sitting across from me is spilling onto the table. It looks as if she is kneading purple dough. A drunk man behind me just wandered into the kitchen in order to make himself some pancakes because service was too slow, he is now my hero. A girl with huge green goggles has just walked in with a devilish smile on her face. I assume she is either a scuba diver or a mad scientist. Whatever the case she cannot be trusted…
3:40AM: My ex-girlfriend has just walked in, but she sits on the other side of the restaurant. The three security guards here love me. They want to “fake” throw me out just for shits and giggles, which I’m all for, but they decide against it. A large man with predator dreadlocks was just arrested in the parking lot for having an outstanding warrant. You can knock over a bank only to be arrested in the IHOP parking lot-fail. 4:00AM: I have taken my first 5-hour Energy and am incredibly jittery. I have met “Chris” and “Dave” who are sitting behind me but are using fake names because they are wanted for some “things.” Apparently suspected criminals can’t resist late night pancakes. The security guards were dancing behind one of my friends, tossed me a Starburst and told me they want to hook me up ever since they learned my ex is here. They are now the coolest security guards ever. Four Asian kids just tried to dine and dash but were caught by the gyrating security guards and forced to pay up. A girl who is practically pantsless has just sat at my table claiming “We should do girl’s night more often.” I am now determined to attend said “girl’s night.” 5:40AM: The security guards have joined me and some other friends at my table. People from last night are still filing in somehow. One girl is complaining that she doesn’t want to come off as Jewish due to her weird knee and blames it on some Jewish blood thing. The townies are starting to file in and I’m beginning to drift in and out of consciousness. 7:00AM: I cannot go any further. I have heard things that I will contemplate for days and seen things which call into question the existence of good. I must now depart, my dear friends, and pass out for the day. I smell like a bum chasing a ham sandwich stuck to the bumper of a car.
although they never know when the buses are coming, at least they can predict the future?
how to pay back your college loans with someone else's money
skip the gym bro, you only live once!
see page 4
see page 5
see page 13
The New MTD Bus Signs
Invent-O-Class #8
The Evolution of #YOLO
02
Table of
contents 06
16
12 11
PAGE 4>>
From the Streets
PAGE 6 >>
The Best in Party Pics
page 11 >>
Summer Blockbusted
page 13 >>
The Top Ten
Page 16 >>
ARE YOU SMART THAN...
how do you think meyers leonard will do in the nba?
did your crazy weekend pictures make the cut? find out now!
How movies that look so right could go so horribly wrong.
Things to Leave Off Your Job Application
THE CAPTAIN OF THE U OF I QUIDDITCH TEAM? OH MAN, WE HOPE SO...
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4
From 'da Streets
New MTD Signs Displaying Everything About Future Except When Buses Will Get Here
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com!
What do you think about Meyers Leonard's decision to enter the NBA draft? "I think he'll do really well in the WNBA." - Matt B., Sophomore
Corey Guastini wrote this In an effort to increase the ease of use and convenience of its bus line, MTD has begun expanding the presence of its electronic “Bus Arrival” signs to various stops across campus. Now, if a bus patron wants to know when a certain line is coming, there will be a wider range of stops where he or she can simply see the arrival time lit up in sparkling LED. While MTD hoped to have the signs up and running weeks ago, they have encountered some problems getting the correct information to display. The signs work on the principles of string theory, utilizing quantum wormholes to gain access to the future. When functioning correctly, they are able to determine when a given bus will be arriving, calculate the difference between that future moment and the present to within seven Planck times, then display that time on the board. MTD maintenance worker and GED certificate holder Floyd tried to explain the process in layman’s terms, saying, “See, these wormholes are present in the fourth and higher dimensions. Now, they act as bridges between two different points in space-time and—you know what, I’m really no good at conveying the complex nuances of particle physics, and I’m not sure how I’ll get you to visualize things in the fourth dimension like we at MTD can, but if you just call Frank and Jerry up at headquarters they might be able to give you a real solid lecture on this stuff. They’ve got it down pat.” While MTD has thus far been successful in achieving access to the future, they are having trouble restricting the information displayed on the boards to bus arrival times. In fact, the signs seem to be displaying everything from the future EXCEPT bus arrival times. So far, they have shown the names of what appear to be the next seventeen US presidents, the scores of the next fifteen Super Bowls, and all of the entries on the 2027 Oscars ‘In Memoriam’ list.
In an effort to defend MTD’s troubles, Floyd continued, “Any time you’re trying to manipulate the space-time continuum to access the future there are bound to be kinks. Normally, we could just call [head maintenance worker] Hank up and he’d get this straightened out in a jiffy, but this is the week he’s vacationing in Branson, Missouri with his wife Sheila and—dadgummit, what is it doing now? Future flavors of Ben and Jerry’s? Well, I’ll be. Hopefully we’ll soon get it to stop displaying things like this as well as the exact date, time, and location of my death like it was doing earlier and just show us when the 22 South Illini and 10 West Gold are getting here like it’s supposed to.” The entire maintenance crew was ecstatic when it thought it had fixed the problem, but that joy proved to be brief as it was discovered the board was only displaying the answers to a test Mrs. Needham’s first grade class will be taking seven years from now at Fairmeadows Elementary School in Iowa over colors, numbers, cardinal directions, and units of time. At press time, the crew was still working feverishly to correct the issue. When it was suggested they contact scientists at Fermilab for assistance, they laughed and said there was “no chance in hell they know more than MTD.” This isn’t the first instance in which MTD has faced troubles trying to upgrade its technology. When it tried to introduce its hybrid bus fleet a couple of years ago, it found itself in a six-week battle to get the buses to stop transforming into powerful auto-bots bent on defending Earth from alien invasion and just transport people from the Main Library to parking lot E-14.
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Invent-O-Class #8:
5
How to Pay Back College Loans adam carver wrote this Debt 101: How to Pay Back College Loans (Wholhers Hall, Room 108) (3 credits – half semester class) Prerequisites: Extreme Poverty 302, Math 150: Discrete Mathematics for Business and Social Sciences, Chinese 101 Required for anyone who doesn’t know how to use a credit card or pay bills. About to step out into the real world and breathe that first breath of freedom? Think again. You’re as far from being free as the detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Remember all the loan and FAFSA paperwork you filled out so living at Green Street Towers wouldn’t be so expensive? That ain’t free money; you’ve got to pay that back. This course will equip you with all the necessary methods to pay back any debt your philosophy degree hands you over the course of your time at University of Illinois. Unfortunately, prostitution and drug dealing will not be covered in this class, Illinois prefers to have that occur off campus. Instead, we will discuss the more practical ways to pay down all your debt. The first few weeks will cover gold-digging. Whether you’re marrying a rich person or suing a company with shaky practices, we’ll give you tips on the preferred methods of manipulation. If your single shred of conscience makes you uninterested in that route, we can inform you on how to quickly rake in the millions as a reality TV star or trophy spouse. This study will examine Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, and Justin Bieber and their ascension to profitability. The remainder of the class will help the less attractive and ultimately more gifted people explore how selling arts and crafts on Etsy will get you nowhere near paying off your crippling debt. Good looking, shallow people won’t show up for this portion
of class, simply because they’ll think it doesn’t apply to them. Once they quit showing up, we’ll learn résumé building and interviewing skills as well as ways to cut your own spending habits. When the self-righteous, entitled people pop in from time to time, we’ll merely stroke their ego since they think all we do is serve them. Their occasional attendance will allow students to find the drive and work ethic to distance themselves from these vacuous people. Daddy may bail them out of jail, but this class will give you all the tools to pay off your debt in no time so that you find yourself appointed to the committee that investigates Daddy’s money laundering. Then, all you’ve learned in this course will pay off two-fold as you can testify for the defense that Mr. and Mrs. 1% mismanaged money and how it caught your eye. In the event these this epic scenarios fail to play out, all students will be taught the necessary skills to work at any fast food restaurant. “Do you want fries with that?”
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Thursday, May 11th SENIOR BASH! Everyone that comes in will get their name engraved on a Class of 2012 Plaque to be displayed in Firehaus Forever Lots of Giveaways All Night!
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312 VIBE NIGHT Featuring great live bands and DJs every week! $5 Mug Specials! $1 PBR Drafts and Busch cans
Red Bull Chariot Race Post-Party $3 Red Bull Vodka's $1 Specialty Shots $2.50 Jack Daniels $2.50 SoCo
Original, Hot, Spicy Garlic, Hawaiian
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$2.50 Summer Shandy Dr. Mcgillicuddy's $2.50Wednesday MIC Night $3OPEN Strong Islands $2.50 Corona $4 Oh Yeahs $2.50 Jager Bombs
$3 Jack Daniels $3 Bacardi Flavors + Red Bull $2.50 Red Stripe
$7.50 Jamaican Jerk Chicken
No cover on Reading Day Thursday! . ..Like you were actually going to study...
$2 Jager Bombs $4 Sloppy Joe 25% Off Any Menu Item with Your I-Card
FRATHAU5 The Best Hau5 on Campus! www.frathau5.com
BULLS vs 76ers 7pm Red Beer on Tap In Honor of the Bulls! $5 Bud Light 40's $3.99 Haus Fries $3 Jager Bombs
$2.50 Summer Shandy $3 Captain & Coke $3 Dr. Mcgillicuddy's $4 Strong Islands
$3.50 Dr. McGillicuddy’s $5.50 Jager Bombs $7.95 Fish Sandwich
Bulls at 7PM! $7.95 Fish Sandwich or Shrimp Basket and Fries $2 Red Headed Sluts $6 Coors Light Pitchers $3 Smirnoff U-Call it
LAMPS WITHOUT BULBS: Sketch Comedy BRIDGE THE SEA, SO LONG FORGOTTEN and More (Late)
CINCO DE MAYO $3 Bud Light Lime-A-Rita's $3 Sauza Silver Tequila $5 Sauza Margaritas (You Keep the Glass) $3 Bacardi Drinks & Bombs $3 Bud Light Platinum Bottles
Cinco de Mayo! $2.50 Coronas $2.50 Cuervo
Watch Every Bulls Playoff Game Here!
$2 Jager Barrels $3 Sailor Jerry $3 Orangey Kriegs
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** CLOSED **
Bulls vs 76ers - Noon $2 EVERYTHING in the House! $3.99 for 10 Haus Wings
$1 Coors and Bud Light Drafts $2 Wells $3 Calls $4 Oh Yeah's
$3 Vodka Red Bulls $5 Coors Light & Miller Light Pitchers $5 Nachos
Watch the Bulls Crush the 76ers at Noon with $4 Cups of Shots
Mason Jar Monday “Pub Quiz” at 8:30pm $3 Double Wells, Double Jack Daniels, Double SoCo, Bud and Bud Lt.
** CLOSED **
$1 DRAFTS $10 HYDRANTS! Half Price Apps 4-10pm
$2 Coors and Bud Light Pints $2 Vodka Cranberry $3 Rumplemintz $4 Strong Islands
$3 Jameson $2 Coors Light and Miller Light Draft 1/2 Off Apps (After 5pm) $7.50 BBQ Pork Sandwich
One of the Last MNJs of the Year! Get Some! 1/2 Price Sandwiches $2 Purple Kamikaze
Tuesday Tacos at 7pm $3 for All-U-Can-Eat Tacos $2 Wells $3 Miller Lite & Coors Light “Tall boys” $3 Tequila Sunrise & Margaritas
THE PIANO MAN Playing all your favorites! $2 Long Island Iced Teas $2.25 Bud & Bud Light Drafts
Bulls vs 76ers 7pm $2 Wells, $2 Captain $5 Bud Light Pitchers $2.99 Ch. Burger/Chips 4-10pm
Karaoke Night $2 Domestic Bottles $3 Dbl Vodka/RB $3 Marky Bomb's $4 Peach Long Beaches
$4 Long Island Iced Teas $2 Wells $7.50 Roast Beef and Cheddar Melt
BULLS at 7PM! 8th GRADE DANCE! $2 Blue Moons & Cuervo Shots $2 Woodchuck $4 Loaded Woodchucks
HANK 3 with HELLBILLY and More!
MINUTE TO WIN IT - 11 PM Win a Soco Pub Sign $2.50 Jack Daniels $2.50 SoCo, $1 SHOTS Bud Mug Night
$2.50 Summer Shandy $2.50 Dr. Mcgillicuddy's $3 Strong Islands $4 Oh Yeahs
THURS 5/03
1/2 Price Burgers ALL Day $3 Bacardi Drinks $7 Bacardi Pitchers $4 Bacardi Bombs NO COVER
CHET HAZE (Chester Marlon Hanks) with ROBBIE B THE NAME and JESSICA BROWN
FRI 5/04
$3.50 White Russians $3 Any Draft $7.50 Italian Beef
$1 Wells $2 SoCo Lime Shots $2.50 SoCo, Jack Daniels & Tuaca Mixers $3 Long Islands $4 Domestic Pitchers $1 Cherry & O Bombs $2 Jäger Bombs, $2 Wells $2.50 Miller & Coors Bottles $3 Three Olives Vodka Mixers $3 Premium Flavored L.I.s
SAT 5/05
$2.50 Jameson $2.50 Bud Lt. $3 Vegas Bombs
$4 Pitchers Miller Lite $4 ICB’s or Bud Light $2 Domestic Bottles $3 Imports and Specialty Beers $3 Doctors
SUN 5/06
$3 Strong Islands
MON 5/07
$1.50 Miller High Life bottles $2 Flavored Long Islands $2 Jäger Bombs (minis) $2 Oak and Coke
FRIDAY: EVERYDAY: $3.50 Dr. McGillicuddy’s $2.50 Summer Shandy Special Night $5.50 Jager Bombs $3. Dr. Mcgillicuddy's Happy Hour $1 off all Appetizers and ½ off all Hookah’s (at GSC2) from 6-8 every day. $7.95 Fish Sandwich
TUES 5/08
WED 5/02
SPECIAL NIGHT
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217.367.0720 | 302 E. John St. Suite 100
$1 Cherry & O Bombs $2 Jäger Bombs, $2 Wells $2.50 Miller & Coors Btls $3 Bacardi Mixers $3 Signature Shots $7 Domestic Pitchers
WED 5/09
15¢ wings 8pm - Close
Original, Hot, Spicy Garlic, Hawaiian
$1.50 Miller High Life bottles $2 Flavored Long Islands $2 Jäger Bombs (minis) $2 Oak and Coke
$3 Jack Daniels $3 Bacardi Flavors + Red Bull $2.50 Red Stripe
$7.50 Jamaican Jerk Chicken
$2 Jager Bombs $4 Sloppy Joe 25% Off Any Menu Item with Your I-Card
The Bar Grid
KAM'S DOWNTOWN SUNDAY: Trivia Night! Win Cash & Prizes! $2 Specialty Pints & Bottles $5 Hamm’s Logo Pitcher Club ($4 Refills) $2 Well Singles & Burst Shots $4 Pinnacle Vodka Doubles
Red Lion PROM 2012 Wednesday, May 2nd $1 U CALL IT We've Converted Lion to Look Like your Prom! Discounted Tickets on Sale at RedLionChampaign.com
SAT: Cinco de Mayo! $3 You Call It $3 Cuervo Shots $3 Margaritas NO COVER!
SPECIAL NIGHT
School of Beer No Cover
LOGO GLASS DAY! $5.00 Pitchers of Hamm's/PBR $4 Skyy Vodka Doubles $2 Wild Turkey Singles $2.00 Rum Chata & Dr. McGuillicuddy Shots
Red Lion PROM $1 U CALL IT $2 EVERYTHING ELSE We've Decorated Red Lion to Look like your Prom!
Outlaw Karaoke $7.50 Rum & Cola Pitchers $13.00 Captain & Cola Pitchers $7.50 Domestic Pitchers
WED 5/02
All Drafts on Sale No Cover!
$2 Specialty Pints $2 Specialty Bottles $6.75 Killians, Leinenkugels, & Michelob Amber Bock Pitchers $2.25 Jim Beam Singles $4.50 Bacardi and Mailbu Dbls $2.50 Rum Chata/Pinnacles Shots
SHACKER NIGHT $2 UV Vodka $2 Bud Light Bottles $3 SoCo Lime Shots $5 Shackers 24oz $6 Red Bull Super Shackers
Boot Night $8 Boot with Fill (doesn’t include Guiness) $5 Refills $3 Jim & Jack
THURS 5/03
$2 Miller Lite Bottles $7 Coors Light Pitchers No Cover
$2.25 Miller Lite, Coor’s Light, Bud, & Bud Light Pints $7 Killians, Leinenkugels, & Michelob Amber Bock Pitchers $5 Wild Turkey and Skyy Vodka Doubles $2.75 Murphy's Pub Irish Stout Pints $2.50 Rum Chata Shots $2.50 Dr. McGuillicuddy Shots
Open at 5pm $1 FATTY NATTY BOTTLES $3 Jameson $3 Jager Bombs
$7.50 Domestic Pitchers $7.50 Margarita pitchers $2.50 Corona $3 Quervo shots
FRI 5/04
$2 Coors Lights $7 Lite Pitchers No Cover
½ lb Mushroom MEGA Ch. Burger w/ FF $2.25 Killians, Leinenkugels, & Michelob Amber Bock Pints $2.75 Murphy’s Pub Irish Stout Pints $7 Miller Lite, Coor’s Light, Bud, & Bud Light Pitchers $5 Bacardi (ALL FLAVORS), Jim Beam, and Malibu Doubles $2.50 Pinnacle & Rum Chata Shots
$3 Jack Daniels $3 Bacardi (All Flavors) $3 Bacardi Grape Bombs $3 Any Bacardi Bomb $3 Bud Light Bottles
Cinco de Mayo! $3 You Call It $3 Cuervo Shots $3 Margaritas NO COVER!
SAT 5/05
$2 U Call It
$3 Any Draft $2.50 Coronas
Trivia Night! Win Cash & Prizes! $2 Specialty Pints & Bottles $5 Hamm’s Logo Pitcher Club ($4 Refills) $2 Well Singles & Burst Shots $4 Pinnacle Vodka Doubles
Book your Next Party or Event at Red Lion! Contact our Event Planner at 217-722-9000 or CochraneParty@gmail.com
Closed
SUN 5/06
$1.50 High Life Drafts!
$2 U Call It
"Beer Lovers Night" $2 Domestic Btls. & Drafts $ 3 Import and Specialty Btls. & Drafts
$5.50 ½lb MEGA Chburger w/ FF $2 Domestic Pints $3 Premium & Super Premium Pints $2 Pinnacle Vodka Singles $4 Evan Williams Doubles $2 Burst Shots
$1 U CALL IT $2 Captain Morgan $2 Red Bull Vodka's $3 Bud Light Pitchers
DOLLAR MONDAYS! $1 Wells $1 Domestic Drafts $1 Shots
MON 5/07
1/2 Price Tuesdays 1/2 Price Pool and Miller Lite Drafts ALL DAY LONG and 1/2 Price Large Pizza (after 6pm)
Country Nite $3.50 Dbl Jim Beams $5 Cruzan Rum Party Pails
Ride the Rail No Cover
$5 Hamm's Logo Pitcher ($4 Refills) $2 Old Style, PBR, & Schlitz Tall Boys $2 Well Singles $4 Pinnacle Vodka Doubles (ALL FLAVORS) $2.00 Burst Shots
$2 EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE! Any Liquor! Any Beer! $2!
$4 Long Island Iced Teas
$1.50 Domestics $1.75 Wells $2.00 Imports
Bacardi Black Razz Party $2.50 Black Razz Drinks, Bacardi Girls, Glow Sticks, and DJ Bart
School of Beer No Cover
LOGO GLASS DAY! $5.00 Pitchers of Hamm's/PBR $4 Skyy Vodka Doubles $2 Wild Turkey Singles $2.00 Rum Chata & Dr. McGuillicuddy Shots
PITCHER NIGHT $2 Natty Light Pitchers $5 Jim Beam Pitchers $5 UV Vodka Pitchers $5 Cruzan Rum Pitchers
Outlaw Karaoke $7.50 Rum & Cola Pitchers $13.00 Captain & Cola Pitchers $7.50 Domestic pitchers
SAT: Cinco de Mayo $2 Cuervo Shots $8 Margarita Pitchers, $2 Corona Cuervo Girls 10pm
$1.50 Domestics $1.75 Wells $2.00 Imports
Bacardi Wolfberry Launch Party $2.50 Wolfberry Drinks Bacardi Girls, Glow Sticks, and DJ Dash.
$3 Fat Tire Drafts $3 Bacardi Flavors
KLUB KAM’S w/ DJ Jay $2 UV Blue Guys $1 Rolling Rock & HL Bottles Try the New $5 Blue Guy Kicker - It Will Kick Your Ass!
$10 Large Pizzas after 10pm
$5 22oz Illini Mug, $10 Large Pizzas after 10pm
Come Watch Some Games! $2 Domestics Bottles $2 Wells
Dance Party with DJ Han $2.50 Captain Morgan $2 OLD SCHOOL BEER!
(16oz Pabst, Oldstyle, & Schlitz Cans)
$2.75 24oz Lite & Bud Lt. Morganettes 11pm
Cinco de Mayo $2 Cuervo Shots $8 Margarita Pitchers, $2 Corona Cuervo Girls 10pm
$2 Drafts
TUES 5/08
MONDAY: "Beer Lovers Night" $2 Domestic Btls. & Drafts $ 3 Import and Specialty Btls. & Drafts
1/2 Price Tuesdays 1/2 Price Pool and Miller Lite Drafts ALL DAY LONG and 1/2 Price Large Pizza (after 6pm)
WED 5/09
10
the black sheep interviews:
12 planet th
Rising dubstep DJ, 12th Planet, has more enthusiasm than you could pack into a bottle rocket. This LA native can talk for hours, about getting his DJ name from a book about aliens (“It will fucking change you life. It fucked me up so hard.”) to what he calls his bong (“I think it’s just called ‘The Lakers Bong.’”) But mostly this down-to-earth dude loves making music, preferably with Skrillex, and performing for the masses. Check him out with Skrillex on The Mothership Tour, hitting up towns all around the US.
The Black Sheep: How did you get involved making dubstep music? Was there a moment you first heard dubstep and you realized that’s what you wanted to do? 12th Planet: Before the whole dubstep explosion I was producing and DJing drum and bass, my alias was Infiltrata and I was touring really, really hard. I was always going to England, and I was also playing in Europe, Canada, and all over the US. I got to hang out in Europe in 2005 or 2006, and I played this show that had a check-in room with a screen playing this music that sounded like slow drum and bass, and I was like, “What is this stuff?,” like I kind of didn’t like it at first. I just thought it was some sick joke. One of my boys was like “Have you ever heard this music, dubstep?” I went to England again to that same place for New Year’s Eve and we saw how fast dubstep was, we heard like 40 different languages in one night. It was people from Slovakia and China and people from Hungary and Amsterdam and France and everyone was there to just support the movement, and this was in 2006? Maybe 2007? That’s when I got hooked, it just blew my mind, everything about it. TBS: How would you describe how dubstep differs from regular electronic music? 12th Planet: The difference was more blatant four or five years ago, but I think where dubstep is now is this kind of melting pot of like electro house and big room house and rave, and drum and bass all put into one. It used to just be noises, like all other electronic music, but it had different BPM, beats per minutes. It has 140 beats per minute, but the people singing are at halftime, like 70 BPM, but the rest of the energy on the track is at 140 BPM. That’s the difference between all the other electronic music and dubstep, the beats per minute. TBS: How do you go about making a new song and new beats? 12th Planet: I just get a little inspiration and smoke a little weed and just start writing. I don’t start with drums or start with bass, I just do whatever I feel like. If I have a sample I’ll start with the sample and build around, but if I have a drum kit that I made
I’ll just start with that drum kit, or if I’m messing around with a razor or something that makes a cool noise, I’ll just make a song from there. Sometimes they see the light of day, sometime they don’t. One out of every 15 tracks sees the light of day. TBS: You’re on tour now with Skrillex, and it seems like you guys are pretty good friends. How did you guys meet? 12th Planet: Oh, that’s my bud. That’s a damn good question. He was always that kid that was at the shows and we’d talk about the songs that were playing. Then we saw each other at Coachella like two years ago and he started sending me tracks and I fell in love with them right off the bat. Before he started making beats by himself he was in that band From First to Last which was a vocal project, and in those tracks he had sick production and the songwriting was amazing. So I invited him to come sing his songs on my sets, so we did that two or three times and we’ve just been close every since. He lives in downtown LA, I live in downtown, we have a lot of the same friends. It’s always party time. TBS: What can someone expect from a 12th Planet Show? 12th Planet: Lots of jumping and girls taking their shirts off and crowd-surfing and people rushing the barricade and having so much fun. TBS: Do you have any pre-show rituals or post-show rituals? 12th Planet: I used to just drink a lot, but now I’m just sober for all my shows, so that’s my ritual now. It used to be instead of trying to entertain everybody else it was just me partying and DJing for myself. Now it’s like, since I’m on this tour and playing 5000 capacity rooms you kind of have to be on point and interact with the crowd and have a better performance. So I was like that [inebriated] for the last two or three years but the last couple of months, the last 40 or 50 shows, I’ve been kind of sober. That’s my pre-show ritual now; my post-show ritual is to get drunk. TBS: What’s the first thing you’re drinking? 12th Planet: I’m drinking Stella. It’s my favorite beer; it’s on my rider. That and vodka and sugar-free Red Bull. TBS: What else is on your rider?
12th Planet: A bucket of fried chicken, grape soda, Magnum condoms, watermelon and grapes. TBS: If you could collaborate with anybody dead or alive, who would you pick? 12th Planet: Skrillex, every day of the week. If I could I’d work with him every minute of every day. TBS: So I have a feeling I already know this answer, but if you were trapped in an elevator for 24-hours who is the one person you wish you were stuck with? 12th Planet: Skrillex, that’s my boy. We’d make that empty elevator a party, we’d probably make music off the level buttons on the elevator, maybe hit the fire alarm a few times. Record it on a phone and call it a day. TBS: In your dressing room, or in life, would you prefer to have a chocolate fountain or a melted cheese fountain? 12th Planet: A chocolate fountain. But the cheese does sound kind of good, too. I can’t answer that question. If it’s nacho cheese to dip nachos in it, then I’m going with that. TBS: Finish this sentence: “Nothing turns me on more than…” 12th Planet: Oh. That’s a tough one. I should go with the obvious, but that’s not interesting. Oh gosh, fuck. I mean… uh… uh… oh god this is tough! TBS: If you want to say “tits and ass” you can say that. 12th Planet: Tits and ass, dude! Let’s go with that. That’s the honest to God truth. Watching Breaking Bad turns me on, too. JESSICA SOMMERS WROTE THIS
summer
blockbusted How movies that look so right
could go so wrong Bored to death of board game movies? Refuse to bite on Piranha 3DD? Summer movies are, for the most part, dreck. Still, there’s always a spate of films that promise to fulfill the audience’s desire for something more than boobs and things that go boom. Even then, things can go wrong. Though we fully expect these movies to kick all sorts of ass, here’s how we can see them suck.
The Dark Knight Rises Oh Jesus, dare we utter a word of doubt about this sacred cow? Well what if—and work with us here—just everything goes to shit. Bane flops as a villain. Catwoman doesn’t fill the gap as the playful antagonist. Talia al Ghul doesn’t show up. Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s role is smaller than anticipated. Alfred dies. As Morgan Freeman ages he goes through reverse puberty, so suddenly his voice sucks. Commissioner A political send-up flick starring Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell (10 years ago Zach Galifianakis)? What could possibly go wrong?
Prometheus Picture this: A sci-fi prequel set in the same universe as several box office smash-hits. Few of the characters are the same, but the same ambiance, from physics to technology to tone, all hark back to the films produced decades before. The audience expects a certain amount of familiarity to exist—and by god it does. As the movie slogs forward it becomes apparent that this… this is not a good thing. Now, the Alien universe is wildly different from the Star Wars universe, and Ridley It’s hard not to think of the new Peter Parker, Andrew Garfield, as Eduardo Saverin in the really, really, really good film, The Social Network. He was perfect for the role, a tiny wiener kid given to “it’s not fair!” outbursts that reek of petulance. He was the perfect contrast to the coldblooded Mark Zuckerberg. So, not to get all typecast on Mr. Garfield, but if Peter Parker is portrayed as some mopey little baby upset with his newfound ability to climb walls, well, that’s gonna make us megafrownie all over the place. Based on early images, The Amazing Spider-Man looks to be much darker than the previous three films, so it’s more than possible that the film heads in
Scott is decidedly different from stuff-my-pants-so-fullwith-money-my-gunt-getspaper-cuts George Lucas, but the worry exists. There’s pressure on everyone associated with the film, from the director to the sound mixer, to make sure this new edition pays tribute to the original. With that, the audience could be left with an overflowing toilet full of allusions, callbacks and remembrances of films past, but nothing worthwhile. Nothing of substance, minus the shit.
Gordon becomes a bumbling dunce a-la the 60s camp TV show. Batman decides to sport the batnipples again, simply because they make him feel sexy. Listen, we’d be shocked—absolutely shocked—if the third installment falls short of very good-ness. If The Dark Knight Rises fails in the eyes of the audience, it’s likely because the audience’s expectations are too high. Slowly exhale everyone, it’ll be okay.
The Campaign
Well, it strikes us that both of these actors need a straight man to play off of to really capitalize on their style of absurd humor. Consider this conversation:
movies that look crappy
but might just turn out okay Men in black 3
After time-traveling to 1969, saving the world in the process, Will Smith’s Agent J decides to stay in the period. He becomes a militant Civil Rights Movement leader until promptly retiring in 1990 to his home in Bel-Air.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter After finishing off Vampire John
Wilkes Booth, Lincoln declares himself Dictator of the United States of America, turning the country into a totalitarian state.
Snow White and the Huntsman
Will Ferrell: I’m kind of a big deal. Zach Galifianakis: Well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man…because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a retard. Will Ferrell: You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha covered with hair. to keep the film set in some sort of reality, the movie (Each character awkwardly quickly spirals to a dark place stares at the other for thirty rife with one-liner one-upmanseconds.) ship until the audience’s heads simultaneously explode. And It doesn’t work. Instead of having that’s bad for repeat viewings. a comparatively sane character
In a film loaded with overwrought dialogue the cast breaks out in a hip-hop number that sees Kristen Stewart rap, “Yeah, I’m Snow White, the purest of them all/The Queen wanna dance with me, I’ll show her how I ball.”
that’s my boy The film’s final scene - in which the raunchy father (played by Adam Sandler) accidentally kills himself in an auto-erotic asphyxiation mishap - turns out to be real footage.
magic mike
This Channing Tatum male stripper bildungsroman succeeds on the strength of its puns and double-entendres. In one scene Tatum’s Mike—dressed as a solider—is asked to “stop being a dick, show some balls and serve this cuntry.”
The Amazing Spiderman Brave
this direction. Peter Parker is supposed to be a snarky dick, not a whiney pussy. We have you on watch, Garfield.
Toy Story: Male protagonist. A Bug’s Life: Male protagonist. Toy Story 2: Male protagonist. Monsters, Inc.: Male protagonist. Finding Nemo: Male protagonist. The Incredibles: Male protagonist. Cars: Male protagonist. Ratatoullie: Male protagonist. WALL-E: Male protagonist. Up: Male protagonist. Toy Story 3: Male protagonist. Cars 2: Male protagonist. Now we have Brave, Pixar’s first foray into the wild, scary world of boobs. That’s not
cause for concern in and of itself. No, this move gets ruined if the female protagonist, Merida, suddenly has to rely on stupid, smelly boys to get good at kicking ass. It’s troublesome enough that Pixar has pumped out movies for seventeen years without once having a female lead, but to finally do it just to have this ginger girl relying on aid from dudes would totally nullify whatever progress they’re trying to make. You know, girl power or something.
rock of ages
Stacee Jaxx, played by mythical leprechaun Tom Cruise, busts out a bitchin’ guitar solo rendition of “Top Gun Anthem” when one of his band members dies of a heroin overdose.
ted Teddy bear-come to-life Ted turns out to be the reincarnation of Osama bin Laden. Upon discovering this, Mark Wahlberg’s character, John, teddy bear tickle tortures Ted before burying him alive in his back yard.
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Bartenders
Week
of the
Charlie Mack firehaus
Major: Marketing Relationship Status: Taken What is the best part about working at Firehaus: Not working at Cly’s or Red Lion. Worst night to bartend: Saturday – I’d rather be drinking. Who started the tie clip trend at Firehaus: Yours truly, Charlie Mack. How often do you go commando: How often don’t I? Would you rather take a body shot off of fat Mac or fat Jonah Hill: I only take body shots off of Sam M. Best Drinking Story: I woke up covered in hot dog buns and ketchup. Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener because… Then I could slide between your buns… ya you. What do you think is your most attractive attribute: My penguin suit. Favorite Quote: “One drink is never enough.”
drinking game:
The Vegetable Game
You say “potato,” I say “po-tah-to.” You say “tomato” I say “to-mah-to.” What do you mean neither of those things are vegetables? They’re certainly not fruit, and by our count, you can’t hunt either for sport. What You Need: Suds and buds, man. Number of Players: At least three. But you should consult the food pyramid, just to be safe. Intoxication Level: Your puke is gonna look like one big Bloody Mary. How to Play: - Before the game begins each person is assigned a vegetable. This vegetable is now that player’s name for the duration of the game. - During no point in the game is a player allowed to show his or her teeth. - If a player exposes his or her teeth, the round ends and that player must drink. - The game begins with one player citing their own vegetable name, pointing at and calling on another player to act. For example, “Broccoli calls on pepper!” - In this case, pepper would then announce themselves, then point at and call on another player. For example, “Pepper calls on asparagus!” - This continues until a player calls someone they point at by the wrong name, or until a player does not respond correctly when called upon. - The loser drinks. The Game Ends When: You start squeezing someone, hoping to turn them into potato vodka.
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Laura Edwards Red lion
Major: Psych/Spanish Relationship Status: Single Best perk about working at Red Lion: Getting hit on by Matt Meyer. Favorite Liquor to drink straight: Tequila Whish celebrity would you rather make out with; Mila Kunis or Rachael McAdams? Mila Kunis, for sure. Have you fallen off the bar : Umm… not recently? Theme song: “Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangster” Most embarrassing bartending story: Falling off the bar with 2 other people. Who was the last person you fantasized about: Myself Advice to girls trying to get free drinks: Find a creepy guy (Eric Hermeran). Favorite Drink to Make: Strawberry Spinner with a Lime Twist...yeah, that's right! Biggest pet peeve: Mike Sinisi Favorite drink to party with: Vodka
recipe for disaster:
Waffle Burger
For many, waffles are the preferred breakfast item for a variety of reasons: The syrup basins, the crunch, the texture. At the same time, the hamburger is the quintessential American sandwich, packed with calories and heart disease in equal measure. By our powers combined! What You’ll Need: 1lb. ground beef, Eggo waffles, condiments. Cook Time: 8-10 minutes. Fatty Factor: You’ll waffle between going to the gym and taking another nap. Let’s Get Baked: - Form the meat into ¼ pound patties. Add seasoning as desired. - Begin cooking meat. (We recommend using a George Foreman Grill, as grilling or griddling can start fires when you’re…inebriated.) - When the meat is 2 minutes from being done, throw two Eggos into the toaster. - When Eggos are fully toasted, remove and slather with the condiments of your choice. - For a breakfast-style sandwich, we recommend maple syrup and butter. Maybe a microwavable hash brown if you’re feeling lucky. - For a dinner sandwich, add ketchup, cheese, you know, stuff you’d put on a hamburger. Oh yeah, that hits the spot. It’s like a McGriddle evolved into something that was actually meant for human consumption.
The Evolution of YOLO Megan Walsh wrote this
10) Your “personal best” keg stand record: As impressive as it is to watch you defy gravity by forcing Natty Ice down your throat while being held upside down by your ankles, unfortunately it does not qualify you for anything besides professional tailgating. And any true Eagles fan will tell you that you can’t tailgate your way to a Superbowl ring.
Let’s begin by defining what YOLO is.
During late 2011 and the early months of 2012, “YOLO” could typically be heard amongst fraternity members or “bros” while convincing each other to do something really stupid. Like, “Dude who cares about indecent exposure laws, YOLO.” It eventually began being used by irresponsible girls after they did something stupid to convince themselves that it was worth it (it never is). Example: “Oh wow we shouldn’t have attacked police officers with our fingernails last night HAHA YOLLLOOOOOOO!”
9) Volunteer work: Assisting freshmen back to their dorm rooms after a party does not make you a “Public Safety Professional”. Furthermore, stumbling drunkenly past a tour group yelling “thanks in advance for your daughters” does not make you a “Blue Hen Ambassador.” November 1, 2011: A group of obnoxious California teenagers, along with some Jersey Shore wannabes, immediately adopt YOLO as, you guessed it, their motto. November 20-something, 2011: YOLO really starts bouncing around Twitter and eventually becomes a trending hashtag across the nation. It usually accompanied tweets that should have made any responsible friend and/or Twitter follower call the cops and/or a medic. December, 2011: Zac Efron embraces the trend and gets “YOLO” tattooed on his right hand. He claims it has always been his personal mantra. Yeah. Attracted to ink? He also has a feather on his right bicep! Yeah.
2012: The trend starts to “it began being used by irresponsible March, get out of control. Somewhere, Now, let’s start at the beginin some college town, a frat boy ning. after they did something girls said to another frat boy “Let’s 2006: On July 4, 2006, The just skip the gym today bro, Strokes released a song YOLO.” And the second frat boy stupid to convince themselves that titled “You Only Live Once,” said “That’s not funny.” propelling the phrase into pop it was worth it (it never is).” culture. Or at least, into the vernacular of people that listen to The Strokes. The song is the first track on their third album First Impressions of Earth. When it was released as a single, The Strokes asked their fans to request the song on radio stations and place the track in their MySpace profiles. They named the plan Operation YOLO. 2008: A restaurant opened in Fort Lauderdale, Florida named YOLO. We just thought that was interesting. October 31, 2011: “The Motto,” a hip-hop song by Drake featuring Lil’ Wayne, premiered on this day. Most people attribute today’s use of YOLO to Drake’s lyrics. “The Motto” sold over two million copies in the U.S. alone and debuted at #18 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart. The lyrics include: “Now she want a photo, You already know though, You only live once: that’s the motto ni**a, YOLO.” Thanks for the tip, Drizzy.
Things to Leave Off Your Job Application So it’s graduation time at Illinois and just as you are finishing off your Beefy 5-Layer Burrito, you realize that maybe your job application could use some beefing up too. But sadly, this is one of the few problems you come across during your time in college that Taco Bell cannot solve. So pay close attention if you don’t plan on spending the next 10-15 years living in your parents’ basement:
It may not surprise you that, like most trends, the lifespan of “YOLO” has been (happily) short-lived. The expression hasn’t quite disappeared from Illinois, as you can still hear it drifting out of the bars at 1a.m. with the throngs of inebriated students, but it quickly went from a simple motivational phrase to a social death wish. As an abstract phrase, and not a concrete trend, the evolution of YOLO is almost impossible to track. However, we will attempt the impossible. We will follow YOLO from its origins to the very last time it was uttered in a non-ironic setting.
YOLO [YO-low] part of speech: interjection – YOLO is an acronym for the phrase “You only live once.” Often used to persuade others to do something they normally wouldn’t. For English majors and grammar nerds: YOLO often prefaces other related thoughts but is not necessarily related to them (hence, interjection). Example: “We’re skipping all our classes today…YOLO.” Here YOLO breaks new ground by appearing at the end of a sentence instead of the beginning, as interjections usually do. However, YOLO has evolved to become so flexible that it no longer can be tied down to the phrase it stands for. Therefore, it could act as a verb in certain circumstances. Or even an adjective as in “Today was so YOLO.”
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April, 2012: The phrase officially isn’t cool anymore. In fact, it’s so uncool that hipsters everywhere are adopting the phrase. For example, a hipster might take those generic beach tank tops with “YOLO” stamped on them and rip them up and tie them around their heads. You know, to protect themselves from the sun and whatnot. There are two lessons to be learned here. First, bad trends die. Hard. Whenever you decide to buy into one, expect to be made fun of in the near future. Second, YOLO is dumb. Everyone does stupid things. We don’t need a catchphrase to encourage us or even justify our actions. Maybe Drake was trying to tell us something else when he said “Every day, every day, fuck what anybody say/ Can’t see ‘em ‘cause the money in the way.” He’s a very successful man. He’s very rich. I’m sure he wasn’t encouraging everyone to screw their lives up by skipping class and breaking the law. Let’s do Drake proud by remembering what YOLO really means, and do America a favor by just never, ever saying it again.
8) References: Try to avoid using family members as references. No potential employer will be super impressed by your mommy’s glowing endorsement. Also steer clear of your closest buddies; Smitty and Smokey don’t sound qualified to fix your toilet, let alone recommend you for a job. 7) Medical research: Your extensive breakthroughs in the field of “curing hangovers with fried food and weed” are only exciting and beneficial to the guy on the fourth floor who is currently only using fried food. 6) Special certifications: Owning a t-shirt that says “Female Body Inspector” does not meet the requirements that allow you to put “FBI” on your job application. In addition, the fact that you once made out with a wasted girl at a party does not make you CPR-certified. 5) Reasons for leaving your previous job: Explaining the details behind where you told your old boss he could “shove it” will only cause your potential new boss to crumple up your application and put it in the pile with the registered sex offenders and anyone from New Jersey. 4) Personal information: As inconvenient as it is to deal with multiple inboxes, it is significantly less impressive if you list your professional email address as: FutureMrsEdwardCullen@gmail.com. It might also be a good idea to change your ringback tone to something a little more low-key than “Baby Got Back”. 3) Your GPA:Does not stand for “girls parties attended”, “general pursuit of ass” or “great places for alcohol”, despite the fact that you have rated each one on a scale of 0-4. 2) Additional skills and talents: no1 wil think u r qual 4 a job just bcuz u can send a txt msg in undr 3 secs. 1) Academic enrichment: Tutoring freshmen girls in “Anatomy 101” would almost be believable if not for the fact that your transcript indicates that you received a whopping D- in “rocks for jocks” before switching to sociology, the only major you could find with zero science requirements.
kim hogan wrote this
alma mater search n find: can you find all the hidden items?
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Kent Benson wrote this
and the most popular stand at the event, “Shelter Smarts: How to fashion a shank for protection at your local homeless shelter.” This was quite an exciting event for Media students, but I wanted to get the inside scoop from professionals about the in’s and out’s of a career in Media. “I knew I wanted to be a journalist the first time I saw Almost Famous. The idea of traveling, writing, and living an exciting life full of rock stars, life lessons, and memories was enthralling to me. The movie did say that journalists don’t make much money, but I was prepared for that. I was excited to live life as an enlightened tramp-poet. But then I realized that you need money for things like rent and food, and that being a journalist is 99% sitting in front of a computer and 1% talking to famous people. But I’m optimistic! I have found that hopping from line to line on the "L" is a great way to keep warm throughout the day, and, as you can see by my stand, I have found that yoga and meditation are great ways to distract yourself from an agonizingly trite existence as a professional writer.” The students who managed to overhear this statement seemed concerned at first, but then re-gained their confidence in the major when they heard the rumor that Chuck Klosterman might make an appearance at the event. All-in-all, the event was a complete success. After becoming nauseous from the smell of coffee and sociopathic voices of prospective news anchors, I decided to call it a day. I, for one, have nothing but respect for these brave students who are willing to undergo a life of ramen noodles and secondhand clothing stores to enlighten your life through broadcast news, photographs, web design, and satirical newspapers.
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Hard Tail . Seven . Free People . Citizen . Hudson . Evisu . Nicole Miller
True Religion . Betsey Johnson . Diesel . Lacoste . AG . Vluve .
Lauren Conrad . Chip & Pepper . Sinful . Union . Monarchy . Affliction
Reporting from the College of Media Career Fair
As the paragon of journalistic integrity at the University of Illinois, The Black Sheep took it upon themselves to send me to report on the Media Career Seminar which took place last Saturday. Promising to be an exciting expedition of keynote speakers, informational booths, and free pizza, I was itching to see what a future in Media and Journalism could have in store for our soon-to-be graduates. You might be asking, “Why should the rest of the students care about Media majors?” This question, one that all Media majors deal with on a daily basis, pretty much answers itself. Media is the forgotten major here at U of I. Obviously Engineering is enormous, and Business is popular among disenchanted Physics dropouts. However, the thing both of those have in common is the way they look down on all other majors, more specifically, LAS majors. And the one major which is looked down upon the most in LAS is undeniably Media. Sure, English and Creative Writing are pointless, but at least they get the girls— all Media majors get are opportunities to act like Ron Burgundy all day. Now, though, they also get this Career Fair. I wanted to get the full experience, so I was sure to arrive bright and early. There were only a few stands set up, which seemed odd since I got there after the fair had opened. I asked one of the stand occupiers why there were so few presenters there, and she told me that, due to the snow, many of the Media professionals were not able to ride their bikes and longboards to the event. I was informed that the ones who were there were the few who could afford bus fare. The stands that were set up, however, provided useful and relevant advice for any Media major. Some of the stands included, “Saving Money by Shopping at Aldi,” “How to Barter With Your Pot Dealer,”
The Refinery www.shoptherefinery.com
class tim e
Are you Smarter Than?
The scoreboard:
5 jesus's score
jesus's answers
Jesus Villagomez u of i Quidditch Team Captain 1) Who wrote the hit 1997 4) What is Oprah Winfrey’s song Bitch? (“I’m a bitch real name? I’m a lover I’m a child I’m a mother…”) 5) The man who created Wonder Woman also cre2) Who was the youngest ated the… man to become president? 6) What was the First book 3) What country is Hogin the Goosebumps series? warts supposed to be at? 7) Which sport has what is called a “Sex Allowance”?
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your score
8) What is the Big “O” running time of Dijkstra’s algorithm? 9) What’s the capital of El Salvador? 10) Taco Bell is a member of what food conglomerate?
1) Meredith Brookes 2) John F. Kennedy 3) Scotland 4) Janice Winfrey 5) Lie detector 6) Night of the Living Dummy 7) Horse Racing 8) O (n^3) 9) Lima 10) McDonald's Corp
correct answers: 1) Meredith Brookes 2) Theodore Roosevelt 3) Scotland 4) Oprah Winfrey 5) Lie detector 6) Welcome to Dead
House 7) Horse racing 8) O(n^3) 9) San Salvador 10) Yum! Brands