WMU - 3/15/12 - v04i05 by The Black Sheep

The Black Sheep

Fre to e...li ung ke e o th n S at t. P se at xy g ty re 's D en ay.

• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 4, Issue 4 3/14/12 - 3/28/12

theblacksheeponline.com @Black_Sheep_WMU

Every Bronco’s Stream of Consciousness Vanessa Leiner wrote this

Shit. It’s only Tuesday? Definitely thought it was at least Thursday. I’m so over this semester…actually I’m so over college. I swear I should just drop out and become a stripper. God, I don’t want to get out of my bed. I’m going to skip. We just took an exam last class so we won’t be doing anything too important this class. Yeah I don’t need to go. Wait, did we have something to turn in? Dammit, I can’t remember. I should just go. Come on, get out of bed. Where are my sweatpants? (*sniff, sniff*) Whatever, clean enough. CRAP! I do need to print off that worksheet for class. What time is it even? 10:35. Class starts at 11. Plenty of time. Backpack, shoes, car keys. Wait, brush your teeth, girlfriend. 10:41. Man, I better sprint to my car. Oh great, the needle is on “E”. Typical. I’m not paying four dollars a gallon for gas. Gas is stupid. Screw those big corporate assholes that are making me pay for…Why are you braking?! It’s a green light. GO! Jesus, does anyone know how to drive around here? They’re roundabouts, not tank traps. And who the hell really goes 35 down West Michigan? Wow, what else is new…not one parking spot. Perfect, just perfect. Parking Services screws us with tickets and they can’t make more spots? What idiot is in charge of parking at WMU. I swear I’m going to park on the grass this is so…brake lights! Someone is backing out! Come on, come on. 10:52, I hope I don’t look like an idiot right now. My backpack’s flopping way too much. I need coffee. I swear if one person hassles me by the flag poles I will freak out. No, I don’t care that you’re riding a bike in the middle of the winter. Move people, I have places to be. Why is the library computer lab always so effing hot! Sweating. Extreme sweating. Where did I put my Bronco ID? I know it’s in here. Is this a joke…shit never mind. So much for printing that out. I might as well drop out. I suck. 10:59. Aaaaand I’m late. Knauss smells like piss…and feet. Careful, just sneak in. Awesome, getting in our groups. Whoa bitch, I forgot to print out one assignment. Leave me alone, it’s my grade, not yours. My eyes are starting to feel a little misty. Is it dusty in here or what, people? Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. I’ve got to get out of here. Group projects are so stupid, everyone knows that. Oh, it’s raining, just what I needed. At least my

Other stuff

Inside

Oh my god. An email from the employer of the internship I applied for. Didn’t get it.

tears will look like rain…whoa I might be emo. Better call my mom. “I didn’t even spend that much money last month mom! Don’t yell at me! Whatever, bye.” If I run into one person I know, I’m going to cry even harder. I look like shit. And I still need coffee.

Well this is a new low. Shit shit shit! Stop crying, stop crying. I’m a failure. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? This day needs to end. I’m going home. Ugh this apartment smells like shit. I think something is growing in the sink. Dammit, I need to go work out. But then I’ll end up crying on the elliptical…again. 2:00 p.m. Screw this. Phone off. I’m going to bed. Wake me up when it’s time for graduation.

Oh shocker, Sprau has a small horde of people all trying to push their way to get some food. I swear if I get one more email I’m going to rip someone’s head off. Charter, junk mail, junk mail, reminder from my professor. Stop.

Mostly because we’re not studying virgins.

Oh, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

“I don’t have a problem, you have a problem.”

see page 4

see page 5

see page 7

Why Studying is Better Than Sex

Irish Today, Hungover Tomorrow

What Your Drink Says About You

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Definition: The act of being funny and affable to the point of awkwardness. Samantha had to break up with Julian because of his egregarious nature. The final straw was when he fondled Jessica’s breast because Jessica playfully asked him to.

why studying is better than sex Nathan Palcowski wrote this

THe top ten Things Everyone Thinks, But Nobody Says Life is a crazy ride filled with various moments of awkwardness, sarcasm, and I suppose some bits of happiness here and there. But there’s those awkward times when we can’t help but have our minds racing, filled with thoughts that never leave the security of our skull. Some thoughts we keep to ourselves because they’re rude, some because we’re embarrassed and others because they’re just plain stupid. 10) Wishing Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” option: If you’re in an area that makes you roll up your window and try to avoid eye contact at all costs, you never want to ask for directions. Come on Google, help a sister out. 9) How the phrase “I don’t need a drink to have fun” is ever said: That’s great, nobody does, but why would we start a fire like a Boy Scout with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter? You don’t technically need it to have fun, but are you really going to sing Journey karaoke, roam Kzoo until 4a.m., and drop it low on the dance floor with a sober stranger? 8) The majority of the people that pop up in “people you may know” feature on Facebook are people you deliberately choose not to be friends with: I hated you in high school, and now you have a child I really don’t want my newsfeed to be filled with pictures of your child’s first time on the potty.

We’re all told by our friends, family members, and teachers that college is the time to explore new options and to try different things. For some, this means going out and raging hard. For others it’s a brand new start, a new beginning to crack down, hit the books and become a better student. Throughout college you’re supposedly finding yourself. Some college men and women find themselves waking up the next morning in a bed they’ve never seen, in a place they’ve never been to, and can’t even remember what the hell they did last night. Point being ladies and gentlemen, though sex may be good, studying is way better. Why?

You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame. Studying will not look you in the eye after you’re done and say, “that’s it?” Studying won’t go off and tell all of its friends that you can’t finish the job on both sides of the spectrum. No, studying doesn’t care about itself; it’s only there for you. Sex, on the other hand, well there is that certain point of mutual respect that you want to make the other person have a good time too, and when you’re three sheets to the wind it can be hard to live up to certain expectations.

"it sucks to say, but there are no groups out there just looking for somebody to have sex with. unless you're willing to pay them."

You can usually find somebody to do it with. Some people just have a way with words and actions, allowing them to snatch a man or women for the night; some people don’t. It’s the same with studying. Some people just know how to study very well, while others have a hard time just getting started. There are always groups out on campus that would love to study. It sucks to say, but there are no groups out there just looking for somebody to have sex with. Unless you’re willing to pay them.

When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else opened it. Let’s face the facts… we’re in college. You can get drunk as shit one night and meet some very nice women, and if you have enough “game” you can get lucky and take this DTF partner home. The problem is, when you wake up the next morning and you’re figuring out what the hell you did, the next thought is, “where can I go to get checked?” Because it’s college, and it doesn’t matter how much you like this bang buddy, you have no clue if he or she has been around the block or stuck in the garage. With studying you don’t have to worry about this nonsense. You know when you’re opening that book, that it doesn’t have anything that sticks with you the rest of your life. Except for knowledge…awww.

You don’t have to put your beer down to do it. There’s not much to this one. If you’re having sex, you really don’t want to be spilling beer all over the place. Unless they’re kinky like that, then by all means go for it. But with studying, that book doesn’t give a shit whether you get beer on it or not. You can drink all you want and still study.

If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off. There is no way in hell that this is going to happen when you’re having sex. You can’t just be like, “hey uh yeah, let’s just do this tomorrow, same place.” It’s impossible that your partner is going to be on board. That’s the beauty of studying; it doesn’t have feelings or emotions. You can just stop what you’re doing, do something else and then pick up right where you left off and everyone’s happy. So as you can see, sex sometimes is always not the best option when you’re trying to find yourself and explore new options as a college student. Sit down, pour yourself a cup of coffee, light some candles, put on some Marvin Gaye, and study away my fellow students.

7) “Lol” has gone from meaning “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”: Also, people use it way more than they should. You don’t need to add “lol” at the end of every text. If you’re laughing as often as you’re implying, you belong in a crazyhouse. 6) “K” has gone from meaning “okay” to multiple other meanings: “I hate you,” “You’re wrong in this argument and I don’t feel like fighting with a complete idiot,” “I’m pissed off at you, but I’m not going to tell you that I am or why I am.” When a girl responds with “K” it usually means all of the above. 5) Answering the same letter more than three times in a row on a Scantron means I’m going to fail the test: But wait, what if the teacher is doing this on purpose to see if we change our answers because we assume that they’re wrong? You know you’re going to just say “fuck it” and check if your neighbor has circled in 5 Cs in a row. 4) Whenever someone says, “I’m not books smart, but I’m street smart” all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”: Or the other way around, if you’re just book smart then you’re that annoying chemistry major that probably can’t name all seven continents or all thirty flavors of Burnett’s. 3) Do middle school/high school girls get sluttier every year?: I was still wearing Limited Too in 6th grade, not hickies. 2) Why is it that during an icebreaker in class I get so incredibly nervous?: I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem. Oh, but it is. Name an interesting fact about myself? Why is it that the ONE thing comes to mind is said by that bitch right before me? 1) Is Kay Jewelers serious?: On any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with vodka cranberries than Kay.

Kelly Weatherwax wrote this

www.theblacksheeponline.com

irish today, hungover tomorrow kelly weatherwax wrote this

This year spring break occurred a week later than usual, and it’s actually a blessing disguise. Not only do we share spring break with State and the heifers at CMU, but the week of fun in the sun has turned into a seven-day practice session to get our bodies ready for the biggest party day that exists, St. Patrick’s Day. This glorious day in March is your time to prove that you’re a strong, social member of the drinking community. Since it’s such a big deal, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts to make your SPD the best yet:

tion for the drunken leprechaun inside of you. Day drink: If you have work, interviews, homework, or anything else that may be stopping you from starting early and drinking yourself into oblivion, reschedule, quit, do whatever you need to do to clear your day. There’s nothing worse than playing catch up at night when everyone else is past the point of no return, it’s called St. Patricks’s Day for a reason.

Don’t pass out outside: Cops will be swarming down Lafayette, Greenwood, and every other main road all day. Wear green, but don’t overdo it: Sounds obvious, but The last thing you want to do is make it easy for them you will be surprised at the randomness that you observe to hit you with whatever ticket they can to make a point walking down the streets on this day, or even the next they’re still the “big dogs” on campus. This is a day of morning. You might want to think of what you’re going to friendship and everyone will have their doors open; find a look like while finding your way home the next day. High random house and make yourself at home if you feel the socks and painted faces might look a bit odd and will defi- need to prematurely hit the hay. We can’t all be champinitely catch a few unwanted glances. Next thing you know ons. you’re That One Girl with her face painted and plastered all over the WMU meme page on Facebook. Even worse Do work: Basically St. Patricks Day is welcome week, tailis the person that doesn’t wear green, because a subtle pinch can turn into being drenched by beer when it comes gate, Halloween, MLK day, and spring break all combined into one. The bottom line is that you need to go hard. The to drunken Broncos. key is to always have a beer in hand. Don’t overdo it and be a slopfest by 10 a.m., though. Drink green drinks: Even your drink should have spirit! Plus, it’s not St. Paddy’s Day without consuming green… everything. So buck up, get over the new keg law and buy Most importantly, do enjoy it. Do beer bongs, keg stands, a damn keg of green beer. Don’t drink beer? Then swing and dizzy bats; play beer pong and beer ball. Forget through McD’s to grab a Shamrock Shake and spike it with about the class you’re about to fail or the semester-long project due date that is fast approaching. Make it a day of some Bailey's. If you’re hitting up a bar, the Dirty Girl Scout shot is both strong and green, the perfect combina- drinking Olympics that you will never forget, this day only comes around once a year. Make it count!

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shiT BroNCos WhatNever Your Drink Says sAy

About You

DAnA Wrote tHis

andy walker wrote this

“Did you read that awesome article in The Herald?”

The internet is a great source of millions of videos that waste hours of your time so it only feels like you’ve been What goes through yourfor head you’re making your want messing around online 10 when minutes. Who wouldn’t to watchdecision cat videos and choice the “It’s ColdDo In you Thethink, D” music weekly on your of So sauce? “Can video instead for adrunk chemistry exam? I afford this?” of or studying “Exactly how do I want to get?” Maybe it’s “How awful will this taste?” These are all normal concerns, buta how often does one themselves, “What Since you’re college student youask have a Facebook account, message am Iyou’re sending to myinfellow Broncos this?” It and because bored class you slip if inIadrink headphone mayhit seem a pointless concern,you’ve but in reality what we’re and up like Youtube. Undoubtedly seen the “shit drinkingsay” saysvideos. a lot about our character: people They’re self-explanatory, it’s a video of shit certain people say and don’t say. Surprisingly enough, there has yet to be one about WMU. For shame! Are we so Bud Light, Keystone, or Coors: I’m asay male with plain? Or maybe it’s what we don’t that setsnousoriginalapart. Chances are Bronco, that I’m none an engineering or business major. Ifity. you’re a true of these words will ever come My primary prospect is pussy. I’m an asshole because chicks out of your mouth. dig it. Aviators are seven shades of cool. “I wish my room smelled like Dunbar.” Life:where I wantRood to stand “IMiller knowHigh exactly Hallout is.”as the classy one, so I bought the champagne of beer. Unfortunately, everyone in “Jin Hau Lu Bajanstalki is my professor, YES!” my frat drinks it too. “I’ll for sure pick you up from Miller at 2p.m.” “President Dunn who?” PBR: Why doesn’t anyone else here feel like talking about “Wise choice replacing Taco Bell with Western Scoops.” politics? How about free trade coffee? Anyone want to chat “Iabout missthat? livingI’d in really the Valleys.” like to talk down to someone for the “Step on the W conversation. for good luck.” duration of the “My fake worked at the Grotto, again.” “Did read that awesome The Herald?” Steelyou Reserve, 40oz: Highestarticle alcoholincontent for the cheap“Do you want stayI in thisfor weekend?” est price? Hellto yeah! paid this with change I scraped from under the vending machine. By the way, can I bum “Wendy’s always gets my order right.” cigarette? “Ianother love walking to class in the snow, uphill both ways.” “Nursing is so easy to get into.” Bottledo ofyou Wine: my parents only put $1,000 in “How getOh to my theGod, flagpoles?” my account? Howhome am I from going Wayside.” to survive?!? I need to go get “Let’s just walk relieve stress. I’ll call my parents “Idrunk just to need one this minute to print something offto infix themylab.” chipped tooth in the morning. “I’ve never got a parking ticket.” “So my girlfriend from Central…” Yeah,why I drink. A lot. I think on mycampus. ulcer is coming “IBurnett’s: know exactly there’s a whale “ back. Vomiting blood is totally normal, right? “Ew, Sweetwater’s.” “I understand why people go the wrong way in roundFruity Vodka: I only drink vodka. Beer is gross. Ewwww! I’m abouts.” going to pass out or puke by 11. I LOVE FRESHMAN YEAR!

07 07

“They need fewer booths in Bistro 3.” “I can tell you everything that I did last night.” Plastic Pint of Dark Liquor: I’m really generous with my “Can I borrow your tail tomorrow?” booze. Well, I’m really generous if you’re hot, blonde, three “WMU sucks.” sheets hockey to the wind, and maybe will get drunk enough to “So openme. parking spaces!” havemany sex with “I’ve never seen the 'Scott’s is buying gold, silver, and coins!’ commercial.” Local Beer: I’m incapable of admitting that I’m just as “Of courseasI go 35 on West unoriginal everyone else. Michigan Ave.” “Thanks for the Bible old man.” “I’ve held onto my eco-mug since freshman year.” Imported Beer: I have wealthy parents, and I grew up in ‘Thanks garbagebut manI’m forjust coming Greater Detroit, goingat to6a.m.” talk down to the Bud “Wanna to kids a WMU basketball tonight?” Light andgoPBR all night for notgame having as refined of a “I would’ve gotYou’ve rid ofnever Pandabeen Express too.” Heathen. palate as I do. to Europe? “Did you see all the hot girls at Parkview?” “I’ve never considered jumping frontrage! of a WMU bus.” Tequila - Male: Rage! Tonight I’mingonna If I don’t break aBroncos bone orFight…what’s get arrested then I haven’t raged hard “Fight the next line?” enough! “Sindecuse diagnosed me correctly.” “Thanks for awkwardly playing your guitar while I’m studying.” Tequila - Female: I don’t usually remember my sexual “Of course I but remember your name.” encounters, it’s all worth it for the walk home. How else is everyone my Friday night dress on a Saturday “I think I’m going goingto tosee go home for St. Patrick’s Day.” morning? “Beer pong? Never heard of it.” “Oh no thanks, I don’t smoke weed.” Five O’clock or Canada Leaf Vodka: “Let’s go to the rec between 6-8.” Who cares if it tastes like nail drink polish wine remover? With all the booze I buy I can’t af“I don’t out of a box.” ford anything better. Besides, it goes well with a Den Pop. “Let’s see what everyone is handing out at the flagpoles.” “They didn’t sell to me a TJ’s.” Four not Loko: I don’t blacking out. In fact, this is actually “It’s UClub, it’smind Campus Habitat.” my chaser. “I’ll just have one beer tonight.” “Solar panels, finally!” Water: I’m incapable letting loose and enjoying “Anyone want to live of with me at Western View?” myself. Even though I knew that I was going to a college party and “I lovethat thewould new E-learning.” what entail, I’m just going to sit here on my high “No have to pass on Ithe Denhave Pop,stayed I’m broke.” horseman andI judge everyone. should home and “I’m to Central.” read transferring The White Goat. Well, that’s that’s the issue. different after all. So there you it, have it Broncos! JustWe’re remember that whatever They say silence is golden, thatyou may nothaving necessarily be true, you choose to drink won’t keep from a fun time. but you don’t say on. can tell you who you really are. Partywhat on Wastern, party

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THURS, 3/15

Thirsty Thursday & Happy Hour 3-7pm $5 Handhelds (Burgers Wraps, Sandwiches) $2.25 Domestic Mugs 7-10pm $2.50 Bud/Bud Light Bottles $2.50 Wells $3 SoCo Lime Shots 9pm-1am

FRI, 3/16

T. GROTTO I. F. Happy Hour 3-7pm 2 For $20 ( 1 App, 2 Entrees or Med 3 Topping Pizza, 1 Dessert) $1 Rolling Rock Pints/PBR Bottles $3 Washington Apple Shots $4 Long Island/Long Beach 9pm-1am

SAT, 3/17 SUN, 3/18

GROTTO ST PATRICK'S DAY PARTY FREE IRISH BREAKFAST @ 8AM

$2 GREEN Rolling Rock Pints ALL DAY $2 16 oz. Miller Lite Cans $3.50 Guinness/Jameson $4.50 Car Bombs/Leprechaun Orgasms

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$0.50 Wings and $2 Bilbo Beer Pints During EVERY NCAA Game!

Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50 $1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots (bartenders choice) $1 Burgers

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

19 and Up Night! $1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

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Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

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$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

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“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks, $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL Starworld Dart League

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Patio Opens at Noon, Dance Party at 9

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MON, 3/19

BURGERS AND BREWS $4 DELUXE Burger Basket (3-10) $1 PBR Pints (3pm-1am) $2 Domestic Bottles $3 Manager Choice Shots 9pm-1am GROTTOHLIC Discount Day

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TUES, 3/20

BOOZEDAY TUESDAY Happy Hour 3-7pm $3 ANYTHING 9pm-1am 50 CENT WINGS (9 Delicious Flavors)

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Happy Hour 3-7pm LIVE TEAM TRIVIA @ 8PM 1st Place $30, 2nd $20, 3rd $10 $3 Miller Lite Mugs 8pm-1am $3 Bacardi/Smirnoff (incl. flav) 9pm-1am 1/2 OFF ALL PIZZA 3pm -10pm GROTTOHLIC Discount Day (33% Off Any Regular Priced Food/Drink Item)

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SATURDAY: ST PATTY PARTY! Doors open at 11am $3.00 Guinness Pints all day

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

Canadian Nights! $3 Labatt and Molson + $6.50 Medium Pizza MARCH MADNESS ALL DAY! Doors open at 11am $5.99 Lunch Specials WE SHOW EVERY GAME!

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

College Night! $5.00 Martinis | $3.00 U Call It $7.50 Man-tini (6pm - 12am)

THURS, 3/15

Dance Club Open MARCH MADNESS ALL DAY!

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 Bud and Bud Light Pints $3.00 U Call It. | $7.50 Man-tini (6pm - 1am)

FRI, 3/16

$2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am Large, 1-Topping Pizza $7.99 ST PATTY PARTY! Doors open at 11am $3.00 Guinness Pints all day

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 3/17

$12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 3/18

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 3/19

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 3/20

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ Stoz Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 3/21

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints

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Doors open at 11am | $5.99 Lunch Specials WE SHOW EVERY GAME!

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The Bar Grid

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THURS, 3/22

Thirsty Thursday & Happy Hour 3-7pm $5 Handhelds (Burgers Wraps, Sandwiches) $2.25 Domestic Mugs 7-10pm $2.50 Bud/Bud Light Bottles $2.50 Wells $3 SoCo Lime Shots 9pm-1am

FRI, 3/23

T. GROTTO I. F. Happy Hour 3-7pm 2 For $20 ( 1 App, 2 Entrees or Med 3 Topping Pizza, 1 Dessert) $1 Rolling Rock Pints/PBR Bottles $3 Washington Apple Shots $4 Long Island/Long Beach 9pm-1am

THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots $1 Burgers

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

$1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

SATURDAY: ½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50 $1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

SAT, 3/24

$2.50 U-CALL ITS 3PM-1AM 1/2 OFF ENTREES

½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

$4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer (large 1 topping & domestic pitcher) $1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)

SUN, 3/25

FUNDAY SUNDAY $3 Wells, $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bell's/Blue Moon Pitchers 3pm-1am $5 Medium Pepperoni Pizza GROTTOHLIC Discount Day

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

Closed

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub!

60 Cent Hamm's Cans

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

(33% Off Any Regular Priced Food/Drink Item)

MON, 3/26

BURGERS AND BREWS $4 DELUXE Burger Basket (3-10) $1 PBR Pints (3pm-1am) $2 Domestic Bottles $3 Manager Choice Shots 9pm-1am GROTTOHLIC Discount Day

(33% Off Any Regular Priced Food/Drink Item)

TUES, 3/27

BOOZEDAY TUESDAY Happy Hour 3-7pm $3 ANYTHING 9pm-1am 50 CENT WINGS (9 Delicious Flavors)

WED, 3/28

@Black_Sheep_WMU All your friends are doing it

FRIDAY: NAPALM! Doors open at 9pm $8.00 admission at the door

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

College Night! $5.00 Martinis | $3.00 U Call It $7.50 Man-tini (6pm - 12am)

THURS, 3/22

NAPALM! Doors open at 9pm $8.00 admission at the door

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 Bud and Bud Light Pints $3.00 U Call It. | $7.50 Man-tini (6pm - 1am)

FRI, 3/23

$2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am 1-Topping Large Pizza $7.99

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 3/24

$12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 3/25

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 3/26

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 3/27

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ Stoz Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 3/28

Get on the grid! ads@theblacksheeponline.com

The Bar Grid

The Movie Page john carter

Based on the Trailer

March 2012

Look! Disney's being kinda badass! Directed by

Andrew Stanton

starring

Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins

GRADE b Mike Benson wrote this Andrew Stanton, director of such Pixar classics as Finding Nemo and WALL-E, brings the sleek animation and witty storytelling of previous Pixar movies and translates them perfectly to fit a more mature, action-oriented, violent picture. Pixar movies, at least for me, have always represented the cutting edge of screenwriting, animation, and storytelling, even if those elements are wrapped in a thin, delicious, kiddie-friendly shell. Although John Carter doesn’t quite stack up to Pixar classics like Toy Story or Up, a touch of the Pixar flare is definitely present, creating a science-fiction action film that is at once breathtaking visually, and intriguing conceptually, which is a sigh of relief compared to the drab and unoriginal action films littering an anemic 2012 slate. John Carter follows the story of, well, John Carter— an American Civil War veteran who finds himself transported to Mars, where he discovers a lush and beautiful civilization. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Not another movie about a Civil War veteran who finds himself transplanted to Mars where he discovers a lush and beautiful civilization! Isn’t Hollywood

on dvd

coming out with any cool, original ideas?” Being that the last couple action films I’ve seen this year have come off as bad Bourne Identity rip-offs, John Carter’s science fiction premise is a breath of fresh air. Upon entering the surface of Mars, Carter is imprisoned by the Tharks, a race of green aliens. The story begins with a complex science fiction setup, but in the end adopts a classic good vs. evil plot line. Obviously the most impressive and jarring aspects of John Carter are the special effects. From the first screenshot, to almost every single frame of the film, the animation and backgrounds are absolutely breathtaking. The action scenes, which are choreographed intricately enough to not even need special effects for them to be interesting, pop out of the screen especially well thanks to the great animation. If one has the means, I would suggest witnessing John Carter in either 3-D or IMAX. Although money is tight nowadays, it is always important to see “made for 3-D” films in 3-D, due to the fact that they can seem awkward and poorly edited when viewed in 2-D. And IMAX is just bigger—bigger is always better, right mom? ;)

The only real flaw I found with the film was that, though the special effects aided greatly in things like backgrounds and fight scenes, the animated green aliens seriously lacked individuality and personality. While Disney usually succeeds in creating realistic and personable animated characters, the model for the Tharks felt bland and uninspired. Any person can think of a tall green design for an alien, but I expected more creativity from Disney. And while science-fiction action films are usually not centered around having personable and interesting animated aliens, being that John Carter is made by the same people who designed the creative and original WALL-E, a little more ingenuity was expected. All-in-all, John Carter is an exciting and worthwhile addition to the Disney canon. While it will probably never be held to the same esteem as other Disney classics, it stands alone as a great watch and fun time. As stated before, John Carter is currently playing in standard, 3-D, and IMAX formats. If ya know what’s good for ya, you would dish out the extra couple bucks and get the full experience.

mars movies!

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube What You Need to Know: Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) use their youthful appearances to join the police force and secret Jump Street unit, going undercover in a local high school to bust up an undercover drug ring. What We Think: Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill play a funny pair of misfit cops that somehow seems relatively relatable. Obviously Tatum plays the dumb hottie very well, while Hill continues to be the cute "is he chubby or is he not?" sidekick that we all root for. If the plot has some surprise twists and turns, this movie could definitely be one of the best of the year thus far.

The Hunger Games

march 23

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth What You Need to Know: Every year in ruins that were once North America, a teenage boy and girl are forced to compete in the Hunger Games, a televised event where "tributes" must fight with each other until only one remains... or they can just get super skinny, I guess. To each their own. What We Think: Obviously this film will be that much more baller for those who have read the wildly popular books, but as far as trendy book/film combos go, this one doesn't look too shabby. Please, just no more vampires, okay?

Goon

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy The Muppets Hop

March 27 This movie has a chick This movie, based on a with three boobs. Three video game, takes place boobs! in 2046 and stars The Rock.

march 16

answers are a few from here

March 20

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Bodyguard (Blu-Ray) A Dangerous Method

21 Jump Street

This 1997 Disney comedy stars Harland Williams as a bumbling software developer who ends up on a mission to Mars.

Val Kilmer and Benjamin Bratt save the day (and the Mars Terraforming Project)… in 2050.

march 30

Starring: Seann William Scott, Jay Baruchel What You Need to Know: Unhappy with his job as a Boston bouncer, and shaming his accomplished family just a tad, Doug (Seann William Scott) dreams of becoming a minor league hockey superstar, even though he doesn't even know how to skate. What We Think: Oh man, that Seann William Scott, what a goon! Hah, get it? Sure, Scott never ventures far from the lovable stoner role, but he's always good for a few laughs and at least he looks good while doing it. Probably not going to be a classic comedy, it might suffice for a bong-filled Friday night.

the music page

the black sheep interviews:

Maps & Atlases

Our compasses pointed due north when we were lucky enough to score an interview with loveable rockers Maps & Atlases. Guitarist Erin talks to us about keyboards, soy products and his pet Pegasus. The Black Sheep: Your new album, Beware and Be Grateful, is set to be released on April 17th. Can you talk about your progression as a band, from your EPs to Perch Patchwork to this album? How is this the next step in your sonic evolution? Erin Elders: I think it’s a continuation of things we were exploring on Perch Patchwork. On that album we really started with texture, whereas our earlier EPs were more stripped down with a lot of guitar. Here we moved on past the Perch Patchwork orchestration, but we found new ways to layer sound with crazy guitars and whatnot. I think the writing style is a steady evolution from our previous album. TBS: How does the writing process work for you guys? Erin: Every record has been different, but I think that’s what most bands hope to do, where you let the process and story behind the record be its own thing. It’s good to break out of your own habits and artistic patterns. For this record there was these group of songs [lead singer] Dave had been working on during his tour and when we had a little off time. It happened in a really stripped down way. We figured out which songs worked as an album, fleshed them out and worked it out over multiple sessions. We’d then throw as many ideas down as we could, then see what worked and what doesn’t. TBS: Considering the length of time it takes to put a record out, how much of what you work on actually ends up on a record? Erin: It’s really interesting. When you think about how much time writing, recording and playing music and you contrast it with the amount of time you actually produce the sounds that end up on the record,

cd review

out now

The Ting Tings Sounds of nowheresville Tings Ting latest sounds are from decent-ville.

The Ting Tings are an English duo consisting of one dude, Jules de Martino, and one chick, Katie White. You probably know them from their catchy hit songs “Shut Up and Let Me Go” and “That’s Not My Name.” And like all stupidly popular songs, I don’t trust it. So, upon writing this review, I looked to Wikipedia to get the low-down, and like Wikipedia in all its wonderful glory, I found out some fun facts about the origins of this group. It turns out that when White was 12, his grandfather won 6.6 million pounds in the UK lottery, which is roughly $104 million in the US (god, I love the internet). Her grandfather gave each of his sons £1millon each, which includes White’s father. He used his share of the money to start a music management company and after a few attempts at starting a successful group, The Ting Tings were born. So, I didn’t want to like them. On the surface, a manufactured band that lucked out with a few sweet songs five years ago? Cool… Only their second album, Sounds from Nowheresville seems to have made an effort to fit into the current music-sphere – think Cults but with a bit more spunk and energy, or Sleigh Bells but less intense, more dancey. I’m not sure why I hated on them so much, but it probably had to do with this obnoxious girl I knew who loved “That’s Not My Name” and it left a bad taste in my mouth. Leaving the hate back in 2008, however, I gave

GRADE C

The Ting Tings another chance. Their first single “Hang it Up” is a fairly catchy tune that evokes images of hip girls in Urban Outfitters sale-rack skirts jerking around awkwardly, their version of dancing (remember that obnoxious girl I knew?). “Give it Back” has a similar beat to a certain LCD Soundsystem song and does pick up, but not nearly enough to give the track enough momentum to become worthwhile. “Guggenheim” is my favorite track on the album with the spokenword verses building up to an interestingly catchy chorus. The album tends to slow down toward the end, though, and it makes the entire thing pretty anti-climatic. Now, The Ting Tings’ question of a lifetime – would they have ever become anything without the help of granddaddy’s lucky lottery win? It’s doubtful, but that doesn’t matter - they’ve scored a few good songs, had their run, won some awards, blah blah blah, and are probably enjoying themselves anyway. They aren’t bad, and are good for some new catchy dance tunes… but don’t expect them to stick around. Sounds Like: Cults and the 80s, separately. Download: Guggenheim, Hang it Up Listen to it When: You’re lounging around and coming down from something fun, but will quickly move onto something else.

it’s small. You have to get to that point, though. TBS: How do you strike a balance between making music you find personally gratifying, but also something your fans want to hear? Erin: It’s a tough thing. Everyone has different interests, and some are able to pursue them under the moniker of their band. But there’s other bands where an out-there record doesn’t work in the parameters of what the band is. Our band, we want to grow and change every record, but the way we move in the same direction, together, allows us to explore new things. TBS: How ambitious do you get with your sound? When you incorporate a new instrument is it out of necessity, like, “This thing makes this sound, so we will use it,” or is it, “We want to push the boundaries of how we consider ourselves as musicians”? Erin: With Beware and Be Grateful we started with these cheap Casio keyboards to get the sound up and running, and from there it was experimenting and seeing what stuck. Running with our instincts. We’ve tried doing it before, and it’s worked on certain songs. On this record, though, it helped us produce a really loose sound. TBS: You guys are headlining a tour right now. How do you prepare? Do you prepare? Erin: I think when you’re on tour it’s one of those things where you’re constantly trying to stay on schedule while being exhausted all the time. It’s basically keeping up until you crash and just stop caring about a timetable. TBS: Is there different pressure being the tour headliner? Erin: I think we’re always making sure we’re playing well and presenting the songs as best we can every night, regardless. I mean, you feel obligated to put on a good show for people who paid money to see you. Plus, how often do you get a chance to play a place like Shreveport, Louisiana? Once a year? You want to put on a good show for someone who might be seeing you for the first time. TBS: For someone who hasn’t seen you play live before, describe your show in five words or less. Erin: Four guys, lots of sound. TBS: What’s a band or artist you listen to that no one would think you like? Erin: I listen to a lot of top 40 radio. When we’re on tour peoples’ iPods get exhausted pretty quickly. I think Nicki Minaj’s “Superbass” is an incredible song. TBS: Describe to me your perfect sandwich. Erin: I think a sandwich is a great culinary invention. I think a baguette, smoked tempeh, some tomato, avocado and spicy mustard. TBS: If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would it be? Erin: A Pegasus seems ideal, you can ride it into town if you need to, or you can fly. TBS: The most practical of the mythical creatures.

UPCOMING RELEASES One Direction - Up All Night Meat Loaf - Hell In A Handbasket

Peter White - Here We Go Adrenaline Mob - Omerta

Lucero - Woman and Work Delta Spirit - Delta Spirit

VCMG - Ssss Soulfy - Enslaved

Bartender

of the

Issue Nick Name: Goods

Porn Name: Anton

Age: 24

Funniest Thing You Have Seen on the Job: A girl passed out in bathroom stall way after close.

Status: Senior Major: Criminal Justice Drink Recipe: Colorado Bulldogcreamer, vodka, rootbeer Shot Recipe: Cereal Milk- Three Olives Loopy, splash grenadine, splash of creamer

y-bar

“I Dare You” Recipe: Pond Scumhalf tequila, half dry gin, parmesan cheese, crushed peppers

Weirdest Place You Have Hooked Up: Behind every closed door at Y-Bar. Celebrity You Want to Hang With: Tiger Woods, “we could do some damage.” What would I find in your refrigerator right now? Beer, curdled milk, bottled water…and that’s it. Craziest thing you’ve done on St. Patrick’s Day: I took a shit on someone’s car.

movie trivia answers: 1) Total Recall 2) doom 3) rocketman 4) The Red Planet

Jay Good

www.theblacksheeponline.com

St. Pattyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bingo!

Can you spot them all? If you can document your findings by taking a picture of all the costumes from above and send them in, we'll give you the prize of your dreams...first one in, wins! Bingo@theblacksheeponline.com

Nudity

Green Beer

Someone Crying

A Paddy Wagon

Drunk Old Man

Someone Asleep

Striped Socks

A Cop

A Beer bong

Greenman

Green Eggs or ham

A Fight

Leprechaun Hat

A Wipeout

Dropkick Murphys Shirt

This Sign

A Makeout

Outdoor Peeing

A Bags Game

Puke

A Drinking ticket

A Drunk asian

Marijuana paraphernalia

Indoor Sunglasses

class tim e Holy ___1___ I’m exhausted, but I’m not about to punk out on my last night in ___2___. I’m really hoping to run into that ___3___ look-alike again, man he was good in the sack. Well, by sack I mean ___4___ but you understand. And now that I’m not burnt like a ___5___ and my ___6___ has cleared up a bit, I’m looking better than ever! Sure, the tattoo of ___7___’s face on my ___8___ probably isn’t going to be so funny once I get home but, hey, isn’t that was spring break is for? Making mistakes? Like (lol) flashing my ___9___ during the ___10___ show at the beach, getting kicked out and slipping in a pile of spilled ___11___-margaritas, then lapping it up like a dog? #embarrassing But Thursday afternoon was the most ridiculous. Meeting those cuties from ___12___ and bonging ___13___ was epic! Well until I saw his uncircumcised you-know-what. But it was fine, we smoked some ___14___ and got so blazed we were watching ___15___-dubbed ___16___ videos on YouTube, and mowing the shit out of some ___17___. Then banged. It was bliss, basically. But tonight… tonight we go hard. Listen to some ___18___, drink my ___19___ + Diet Coke and wear the outfit I’ve been waiting for all week – my ___20___-skin dress! Ahh!!!

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

$5.99 Lunch Specials $5.99 Lunch Specials $4.00 Domestic Mugs $1.00 Domestic Pints $3.00 Madness Shots $1.50 Leiny Pints

WE GET EVERY GAME!

1) body part 2) spring break hot spot 3) D-list celebrity 4) place in a bar 5) red food 6) STD 7) 90s pop diva 8) gross Body Part 9) body part 10) b-list rapper 11) nasty fruit

12) European country 13) imported beer 14) silly weed name 15) weird electronic artist 16) Animal 17) drunk food 18) bad mainstream rapper 19) flavored vodka 20) Animal

class tim e

the madlib: last night of spring break