The Volume 7 Cards Against Humanity
st Humanity Cards Again Cards Against Humanity
MEET the STAFF CAMPUS MANAGER Rebecka Talley EDITORIAL MANAGER Courtney Paul ADVERTISING MANAGERS Mark Calvin Brackin Julie Socolow WRITERS Joey Glass, Dan Collins Austin Cope, Hannah Soblo SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Courtney Merlo DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Beaver
CAMPUS DIRECTOR Brendan Bonham OWNER Atish Doshi FOUNDERS Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather-Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Quinn Myers QUESTIONS? info@theblacksheeponline.com ADVERTISING? ads@theblacksheeponline.com
OWNED & OPERATED BY: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Avenue Suite 1, Chicago, Illinois 60622 Contact Corporate: 217.390.1747 For Advertising: 608.712.0900
DISCLAIMER: The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
FOLLOW US! @BLACKSHEEP_CLEM THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
(864) 477-9207 (864) 477-9213 LEASING OFFICE 1103-1 TIGER BOULEVARD CLEMSON, SC 29631
PAGE 3
A FEW MORE WAYS
SEX EUPHEMISM OR SERIAL KILLER NICKNAME?
TO KILL SOME TIME.
BEAT OUR CAPTION! Tweet us a better caption and win a prize!
“Burning Man isn’t over, is it?”
THE ALASKAN FIREDRAGON
The above phrase is either a gross sex euphemism or a serial killer’s nickname. Which is it? Let us know by tweeting us your answer. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize! Check back next week for this week’s answer!
WORD of the WEEK
CALLANDER A person who, when on the phone, always manages to think of one more thing to talk about. “…and one more thing,” Erin, a habitual callander, said, “did you hear about Karen last week?”
GUESS THE REALITY TV STAR! Whatever your dirty pleasure may be, don’t deny you watch reality TV. The image to the left is a silhouette of a reality TV star, and below are three clues as to who the person is. Let us know who you think it is by tweeting us your answer. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!
1
Played quarterback for Louisiana Tech.
2
Made comments to GQ that many perceived as homophobic.
3
Has a memoir titled, Happy, Happy, Happy.
# # #
PLAY WITH US! @BLACKSHEEP_CLEM
PAGE 4 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
THE MADLIB
CLUE BANK
WHY I AM NOT A __(1)__, JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
1) Synonym for loser 2) Prehistoric period 3) Horror movie villain 4) Drug 5) Horrendous class subject 6) Awful professor’s name 7) Foreign disease 8) Tex-Mex restaurant 9) Bodily fluid 10) Amphibian 11) Worst building on campus 12) Embarrassing body part 13) Disgusting food 14) Unusual sandwich 15) Something that is typically dead 16) Baby animal 17) Really cold place 18) Your favorite movie monster (plural) 19) Schilletter delicacy 20) Flightless insect 21) Question you are asked at a drive through 22) Circus profession
Look Dad, college isn’t easy like it used to be when you were in school back in the __(2)__ Period. The professors nowadays are like __(3)__ on __(4)__. Last week, I had a test in __(5)__ and __(6)__ totally screwed me over. First off, you should know that I got __(7)__ from the __(8) __ bathrooms, and it’s practically fatal. So I was late to class because I was at Redfern, but when I gave my professor the note, he said it was worth about as much as week-old __(9)__ because the doctor said I wasn’t really sick and was just acting like a pathetic __(10)__. My professor told me since class was already half over, I would either have to take the test at __(11)__ in only half the time of everyone else, or come back over Thanksgiving to finish the test because that was the only time he had. Naturally, I told him he was being a __(12)__ with __(13) __ on top and flung my three-week-old __(14)__at him and stormed out. I went to administration, because if I fail this class my GPA will be deader than a __(15)__. Even though I begged, giving them my cutest __(16)__ face, they refused to override my professor’s decision! It was then, looking into their dead eyes, eyes that were as cold as __(17)__, that I knew our administrators were all really __(18)__. So, I went back to my professor’s office hours the next day with a peace offering of __(19)__, and I groveled at his feet like a __(20)__, all traces of dignity gone. He told me to start practicing asking “__(21)__” in the mirror because that was the only job skill I needed. So that, mom and dad, is why I have decided to dropout and become a __(22)__.
Hannah Soblo wrote this
Your Fast, Fresh & Original Neighborhood Deli
Our Gift Cards Make Perfect Gifts! Clemson
Easley
Greenville
Spartanburg
104 Finley St.reet Clemson, SC 29631-1532
6101-I Calhoun Mem. Hwy Easley, SC 29640
20 E. Coffee Street Downtown Greenville, SC
100 E. Main St.reet Spartanburg, SC 29306
864-653-7764
864-855-1289
864-552-1541
864-582-2662
TIGERS
TOGO.COM
Check Us Out Online at Grouchos.com
Austin Cope wrote this
When looking for a place to study in Cooper, one pictures the usual spots. The first floor is great for quiet solo studying, while the fourth through the sixth floors host moderately-loud-group-projectdiscussion-slash-reality–TV-show-worthy brawls. But this close to finals, you have to be really lucky to land anything that you’re used to, and you can’t count on luck alone. With that in mind, here are some creative location alternatives for studying in Cooper. Sit Next to Strangers: This technique is almost guaranteed to work. In an effort to remain within the realm of social acceptance, people tend to only use every other spot when it comes to desks and tables. All you need to do is break the status quo to find an open seat next to another academically-inclined Tiger. And hey, if you try to talk to that neighbor, you’ll either succeed in finding a new buddy or they’ll leave and you can scoot over—it’s a win-win. CCIT: A quick and easy way to find a coveted chair is to pretend to wait for help at CCIT. Their chairs have some nice cushion to them and they’ll be fine as long as you can work on your lap. If necessary, the bookstore does, in fact, sell lap desks. Beanbags: Sure, the local beanbags are nice if they’re available, but we all know they get snagged up too
quickly. But who’s to say that you’re officially excluded from the squishy, comfy fun? There’s no rule that says you can’t bring your own. Bring your own beanbag, favorite husband pillow, or blow-up mattress to the library. You pay enough money in tuition that you should be able to bring any creature comfort you like to the library. First Floor Stacks: One of the best underground spots (pun intended) lies within the first floor dungeons, not at a desk or table, but inside the rolling bookcases. All you have to do is roll a bunch together then carve yourself a little hovel between the stacks. This is great for those who like lying on their bellies, and the metal shelves will act as a natural cooling agent to keep the study sweat from building up. If you’re feeling really adventurous or desperate, use this technique on the upper shelves. You just need to watch for anyone who actually wants to find a book. Fortunately, students don’t use libraries for their stupid, outdated books. Second Floor Netting: We’re all familiar with those netted screens that are supposed to separate the desks and give each student his or her privacy. We also know that you can see right through them, voiding that very purpose. So, take the supposed battlements
and section off an area for yourself. There, now they’re legitimately being used, and no one’s going to stop the insane person who’s taking all the screens; not this close to finals.
Now Leasing for Fall 2015 Call Us Today! 864.639.2209 100 Cross Creek Court, Central, SC
LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME? The Summit at Cross Creek is the place for you! We offer comfortable and relaxing housing with a private community atmosphere that is second to none. Come by for a tour today! thesummitatcrosscreek.com • Find us on Facebook! SummitatCrossCreekApts Follow us on Twitter: @summitatclemson • Follow us on Instagram: @thesummitatcrosscreek Check us out on the App Store and Google Play: The Summit at Cross Creek • Text “SUMMIT” to 47464 for more information
If you’re suspicious about the legitimacy of these study spots, we at The Black Sheep can attest to each of them. Their success is proven by our no-less-thanstellar writing abilities. Just look at this article. Could we write it if it wasn’t the lord’s honest truth?
PAGE 5 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
Creative Study Spaces: A Guide to Cooper Library During Finals
‘TIS THE SEASON
A VISIT FROM
TIGER CLAUS
THE TOP TEN Presents Clemson Needs This Christmas The Tigers were nestled, all snug in their beds, while visions of these things below danced in their heads. Clemson has a lot to be thankful for this Christmas, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a short little wish list. So, here it is: The top 10 presents Clemson is wishing for this Christmas. 10.) A Parking Garage: Or maybe seven. Unless Santa can lend us each a personal reindeer, we’re going to need parking that doesn’t require us to walk five miles to our actual destination. If we wanted to go hiking, we’d drive to Table Rock, not to R1. 9.) Renewed Elevator Safety Compliance Cards: Because there is simply no way that the campus elevators are fully functional. It should be a ten-second journey, not a ten-minute crawl with a few terrifying jolts in between. By the time you reach your floor, you may as well have taken the stairs; you’re just as late and just as sweaty. 8.) A Restaurant Not Specializing in Sandwiches: We already have a Groucho’s, a Subway, a Jimmy Johns, another Subway, a Pita Pit, a McAlister’s, and the list goes on and on. It’s time for us Tigers to expand the horizons of our taste buds and get rid of our deli-bellies. Unless you’d rather give us a Panera, Santa. We will settle for a Panera.
Dan Collins wrote this
Twas the night before Christmas (break), when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except the uncatchable mouse; It was cold as can be, as the house had no heat And because of the dog, it did reek of raw meat. In the corner of the room stood a Charlie Brown type of tree He had cut it himself because that way was free.
They snuck back into the room without a hint of detection, But the man he was scared, and had a curious erection. The tiger, it darted to here and to there It cleaned up the room, with pomp and with flair; After several long moments, the man did appear Comforted by the pitter patter on the roof from reindeer.
Though he knew it illegal, he sure did not care, He could cut down a tree just like he did his own hair. On the wall hung the lights to celebrate the season Though they’d been up all year so maybe that wasn’t the reason. A sock was hung on the doorknob with care In hopes that no cockblock would enter dare.
He went up to the tiger, afraid for his life, Though under his cloak, he hid a big deadly knife; Just before he did strike, the tiger turned round And the man could not believe what on earth he had found. “Come on out,” said the man to his girl “An amazing event is about to unfurl;” They looked before them, not believing what they could see, That the big, vicious tiger put gifts under the tree.
They nestled and snuggled, the two in the bed, Not knowing what was approaching could tear off each head; With his red coat and hat, he flew through the night Not expecting to cause such a terrible fright; “On Dasher on Dancer on Prancer on Vixen, This will be the best Christmas since President Nixon. With Rudolph’s bright light, not an obstacle shall be hit On the one night I’m away from Mrs. Tiger Claus’ shit.” To the small town of Clemson did he finally arrive And at the first house did the sleigh take a dive. Down the chimney he came with a thundering roar, Or more like a combo of a whine and a snore. The lovers awoke, and knew not what to say, ‘Til they saw a live Tiger in the house where they lay;
“A skateboard for Scott and a Barbie for Kim, But Drew’s on the naughty list, so nothing for him. A tie for Pop-pop and an Xbox for Tom Who hopes to make a friend to replace his dear mom. Last but not least, here is some food for your holiday feast, And a flask for old dad who cooks the roast beast.” “Who are you,” they asked, trying not to sound coy, “I’m Tiger Claus,” he said, “here to bring Christmas joy.” But before they could even react to the news, He was gone in a flash, leaving them with the blues; They told everyone about him, told Frank and told Tim, So great was their joy, they even told Jim. “It was Clemson Tiger Santa, he was here with his pup; It’s now Christmas break, so let’s all get fucked up.”
7.) A Few “Get Out of Jail Free” Cards: For our fine fraternity fellows, we need a few freebies from whatever suspension or moratorium or probation each may face. They’ve suffered long enough. Christmas is the time for holiday cheer, and how can we show holiday cheer if we can’t throw the annual Polar Bros and Eskihoes party? 6.) A Yik Yak User Reveal: We need a little drama this year. As if the anonymous messages themselves didn’t already create enough strife, a total unmasking of participants would propel us on to World War III. We can finally see who’s posting about that one fraternity, unless it’s that one fraternity posting about themselves. 5.) A Magic School Bus: We’re talking about a bus to cure all of our large-scale transpo needs. No more pledge rides? Magic School Bus. CAT bus doesn’t stop at your apartment? Magic School Bus. And let’s not forget the football team; they deserve to ride in style to the hill, not in a old, smelly “tradition-bred” Young bus. 4.) Communal Name Recognition for a Certain Bar: Is it Larry’s? Is it Friar’s? Is it Flip Flops? We need some clarity. Some closure. A name that will remain as consistent as the levels of intoxication sustained at its very heart. 3.) More Machines: Fike is great for cardio… if you’re one of the first 20 people to get there. Clemson needs to invest in a few new ellipticals; haven’t they seen how many girls went through sorority recruitment this year? It was a record high, which directly correlates with a record high demand for ellipticals. 2.) A Generation Gap Filler: Why should we, as 21st century-goers, be exposed to the travesty of the chalkboard when there’s a shiny blackboard right next to it just begging to be used instead? Why shouldn’t we expect an email reply within 30 seconds toting a “Sent from my iPhone” signature? It’s time to bring our older Clemson professors out of the AIM era and introduce them to Facebook Messenger. 1.) A Live Mascot: Hell, even the University of Memphis has a live tiger, and they’re in the American Conference. Think of the increase in revenue it could bring to our school, not to mention the predictable increase of tiger emoji Instagram opportunities. A world with more tiger emojis – and school funding, sure – is a better world indeed. Clemson Staff wrote this
ON THE STREETS
the madlib SITTING ON SANTA’S LAP
What do you wish you had told yourself on the first day of the semester?
TREVOR, GRAD STUDENT “Run.”
Hey there, ya big, tubby bowl of __(1)__, how ya doing? If you are who you say you are, you know I haven’t come by the mall to talk to you since I was __(2)__, but it’s been a rough year, and I really need you to knock Christmas out of the park this year.
KATIE, JUNIOR “Not all professors are the same.”
Let me start by saying, is that a __(3)__in your pocket, or you just happy to see me? Seems so __(4)__ I could hang an ornament off it, am I right, you big, virile badass? This year I’m going to want a __(5)__, but not one of the cheap ones, one with plenty of __(6)__and __(7)__and everything. I actually have one on my Amazon Wish List, so just log in and check it out. I’m also going to want a __(8)__, a bottle of __(9)__and a lifetime supply of __(10)__. Hey fat man, don’t give me that look, that elf over there told me this is a __(11)__free zone. It’s not just that I want a lot of good stuff, I think my family deserves what’s comin’ to them, too. Get my mom a __(12)__for that time she didn’t get me a __(13)__for Christmas in 2003. Get my sister a __(14)__to remind her of the time she told my mom about __(15)__ in the basement when I was in high school. Karma’s a bitch, aye __(16)__? Finally, get my stepdad Todd a nice big pile of __(17)__. Just ‘cause you get to stuff it in my mom doesn’t mean you get to enjoy the holiday spirit, not with me around. Sorry you jolly bastard, there’s a flock of moms giving me the side-eye over there, so I’ll hop off to let a little __(18)__ hop on and __(19)__on your outfit. Sure you’ll love that. Also, Santa, remember, you better get me everything, I know where you live, and I will __(20)__you.
JENNY, JUNIOR “Don’t take that extra 3 hour class. Just don’t.”
CLUE BANK 1. Kind euphemism for fat 2. Age you last visited a mall Santa 3. Christmas item 4. Adjective 5. Expensive present 6. Feature on #5 7. Feature found on #5 8. Cheap present 9. Something that comes in a bottle 10. Noun
11. Noun 12. Bad gift 13. Hot 2003 Christmas items 14. Karmic gift 15. Illicit high school activity 16. Sister name 17. Something gross 18. Small child synonym 19. Expulsion of bodily fluid 20. Verb
07
CASH on the spot
SELL US your gently used clothing, shoes and accessories! We price your items based on brand, style and condition. Then, we make you an offer for cash on the spot. 864-224-8839 112 Station Drive Anderson, SC 29621 PlatosClosetAnderson.com
THE GRID SPECIAL NIGHT
FRIDAY! $6 Liquor Pitchers (During Happy Hour Only) $1.50 Mystery Beers, DJ Sha!
THURSDAY
$3.56 Sushi Rolls, Wine Tasting at 9pm, $6 Bottles of Champagne
FRIDAY
$9.50 Liquor Pitchers Monday - Saturday!
Burger and a Beer Night!
$7.75 Backstreets Burgers or $8.75 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers, Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
$2.50 Fireball Shots $6 Liquor Pitchers Happy Hour Monday - Friday: (During Happy Hour Only) $4.75 PBR Pitchers, $1.50 Mystery Beers, DJ Sha! $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
$3 Well Drinks Every Day!
Happy Hour 4pm-7pm Mon - Fri $4 Jager, $3 Fireball $5 Jack Daniels, 1/2 Price Apps
Trivia at 8pm! 1st place gets $25 cash and $25 gift card
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm
$3 Well Drinks Every Day!
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm
SATURDAY
Join us for flatbread specials and college football!
$2.50 Fireball Shots $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
College Football on 20 HD TVs
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft, $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles $13.99 All You Can Eat Wings (excl. home games)
SUNDAY
Closed
Service Industry Night! $5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers & random specials
NFL Sunday Ticket on 20 HD TVs
Book your next party at Larry’s!
MONDAY
All You Can Eat Sushi
Half price appetizers $8 for a Dozen Wings, $1 PBR $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
Burger Mondays! $4.99 Burger & Fries
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft, $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles $13.99 All You Can Eat Wings During MNF
TUESDAY
Follow us on Twitter! @CUHangover
$5.75 Large Pizza, $1 PBR $5 Bud Light Pitchers Happy Hour Monday - Friday: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
Taco Tuesday! $4.99 Taco Backets, $1 12oz Blue Moons
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm
WEDNESDAY
Check us out on Instagram! @356Sushi
Yeungs and Wings! $5 Yeungling Pitchers, $1 PBR $6.75 for a Dozen Wings Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
$9.99 Pizza, $0.60 wings, $0.50 12oz PBR
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm
THURSDAY
$3.56 Sushi Rolls, Wine Tasting at 9pm, $6 Bottles of Champagne
Trivia at 8pm! 1st place gets $25 cash and $25 gift card
$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm
Burger and a Beer Night! $7.75 Backstreets Burgers or $8.75 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers,
Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers
FOLLOW US ON
@BLACKSHEEP_CLEM
OVERTIME PALMETTO’S Smokehouse & Oyster Bar
THE GRID
THURSDAYS Overtime Trivia, 9pm Win $100 Bar Tab!
Tuesday & Saturday: LOW COUNTRY BOIL NIGHT! Get low with PSHOB’s famous low country boil recipe.
FRIDAY! 24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer for $14.99
Wednesdays: Trivia @ 10pm!
TUESDAY $4 Burgers!
SPECIAL NIGHT
Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap!
Need a PARTY SPOT? Rent Palmetto’s EVENT Center Call 864-810-7339 ext 3 and get $50 off your next rental with the keyword “Black Sheep”
Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm
Go Tigers!
$6 House Liquor and Draft Beer Pitchers (4-8pm) DJ Sha!
THURS.
NEW! 6 under $6 lunch menu 24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer served 11:30am-2pm M-F. for $14.99
Service, Service, Service
$6 Chef’s Special
FRIDAY
$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers
$0.50 Wings All Day!
Your Tigers Headquarters!
College football on our 101 inch projector!
SATURDAY
Open 7 Days a Week at 6PM
Open 8am for our NEW BIG EASY BRUNCH! From 8am - 2pm $10 Bottomless Mimosas Low Country Boil 5PM Follow us on Twitter!
NFL Sunday Ticket! Sunday App. Specials! Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap $7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne, $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers
Open 8am for our NEW BIG EASY BRUNCH! Try the best hangover cure: Big-n-nasty biscuit, frittatas, wraps, omelettes, creamy grits, beignets, and waffles! Catch Bill’s NFL Action Here Go Sammy & CJ!
Follow us on Twitter! @TDsFoodAndDrink
Visit the Top of Tiger Town Tavern’s Private Club!
Follow us on Twitter to hear about daily specials! @CUWings
SUNDAY
Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap! $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers
Clemson’s best place to take a date! Try the “Haystack”, a totally sharable mound of fries or fritos covered in deliciousness! Oyster Fest & Shrimp Jam Every Monday Starting at 5!
All You Can Eat Wings!
Stiffest drinks in town! Where the Big Tigers Play...
Check out our Instagram! @CUWinginIt
MONDAY
Yup, Still Private! $7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne
LOW COUNTRY BOIL NIGHT! Get low with PSHOB’s famous low country boil recipe. Like us on Facebook for weekly specials and competitions.
Karaoke With Fred Rock
Bingo at 10pm!
$4 Burgers
TUESDAY
$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers
NEW! 6 under $6 lunch menu served 11:30am-2pm M-F. Say “You saw it in The Black Sheep” and get a FREE PSHOB Bumper sticker.
$1 Burger Night
Trivia at 10pm!
Buy 1/2 pounds of wings, get a 1/2 pound FREE!
WED.
Need a PARTY SPOT? Rent Palmetto’s EVENT Center Call 864-810-7339 ext 3 and get $50 off your next rental with the keyword “Black Sheep”
Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm
Stiffest drinks in town! Where the Big Tigers Play...
$6 House Liquor and Draft Beer Pitchers (4-8pm) DJ Sha!
THURS.
Open 7 Days a Week: Backstreet at 11:30AM, Overtime (Backstreet Basement) at 6!)
$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers Open 7 Days a Week at 6PM
Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap!
Open 7 Days a Week: Backstreet at 11:30AM, Overtime (Backstreet Basement) at 6!)
A BLACK SHEEP GUIDE
What’s the best way for you to
procrastinate for finals week?
A BLACK SHEEP GUIDE
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN? 0 E t of 1 R SCO 3 ou
1) December Dates: What award, named after the eponymous man’s death, is given yearly on his birthday, December 10th? 2) Hanukkah: How many days is Hanukkah celebrated? 3) Christmas Carols: What famous carol contains the lines, “Not only green when summer’s here/ But also when it’s cold and drear”?
ALEX PECK, COMPUTER SCIENCE LAB TA
6) Candy: Peppermint is a hybrid mint, a cross between watermint and what other kind of mint? 7) 2015: What 80s classic has a trio arriving to October 21st, 2015? 8) The Bible: According to the Bible, in what city was Jesus born?
4) Fad Gifts: Christmas 2004 saw Billy, who sang, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” What was Billy?
9) Festivus: The Festivus Feats of Strength ends when this happens to the head of the household.
5) Holiday Movies: This 2003 holiday Christmas hit originally had Jim Carrey attached to play the lead role.
10) New Year’s Eve: What city hosts an annual “Peach Drop” on New Year’s Eve?
Alex’s Answers
Correct Answers
1) Heisman 2) Thirteen 3) “O Christmas Tree” 4) Fish 5) Next 6) Breath mint 7) Back to the Future II 8) Bethlehem 9) When they gethit with a Festivus Pole 10) Atlanta
1) Nobel Prize 2) Eight 3) “O Christmas Tree” 4) Bass, or Big Mouth Bass 5) Elf 6) Spearmint 7) Back to the Future II 8) Bethlehem 9) He or she is pinned 10) Atlanta
clemson’s best mexican food! SPEND $10
get $2 off
buy 2 Terraburritos
get $3 off
open late tuesday, thursday and friday! 1062 Tiger Blvd. • Clemson, SC • (864) 654-8006
Yellow Cab is your local, friendly, and dependable cab service!
OPEN 24/7 IN CLEMSON 864.882.3454
Resort Style Student Housing thepieratclemson.com • 864.654.7549 440 Edinburgh Way • Seneca, South Carolina
State-of-the-art clubhouse with large fitness center, lounge area, tanning beds, pool tables, and more! Walking trails with panoramic views to our very own pier! Private shuttle service to and from Campus Award-winning Luxury Pool, Outdoor Fire Pit Basketball Court and Sand Volleyball Court
THE SEEK AND FIND
THE BEST GLASS AND BODY PIERCINGS
IN CLEMSON
, hought t d n a eep hen lack Sh is s*!t.” t B h e t h n T a ead r th g bette e ever r n i ’v h u t o e y If om write s d l u o c “Man, I
A E M O BEC
. R E T I WR
rs al write n i g i r o and t lented a t r today a o f y g l p n i p k .A oo lication We’re l b u p r u for o
om c . e n i l n o p e e h s k theblac Follow us on Instagram | fb.com/ClemsonTheEdge 1393 Tiger Blvd. Suite #130 | (864) 653-4545
Print • Mobile • Online
the HOW WILL YOU DRAMATICALLY AVOID FINALS? quiz 1) Which movie/TV series are you most likely to binge-watch during a day-long “study break” on finals week? a) Dexter b) House of Cards c) Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen
5) What are your plans for the upcoming winter break? a) Traveling out of the country. b) Avoid human contact at all costs, even if it means hiding in the “closed for break” dorms. c) Going to the beach (or the Bronze Tiger).
2) It’s Thursday, where should you be? a) 356 for a sushi special. b) Wingin’ It, for cheap liquor pitchers. c) Cooper
6) Which was your favorite activity as a kid? a) Hide–and-seek. b) Sharks and minnows. c) Tattling on your siblings.
3) What is your intended major? a) Some science word followed by engineering. b) Some type of Business (probably management). c) Some eccentric artsy major we can’t name but know has to exist, even at an ag school. Uh… accent design?
7) You just ran into an ex walking around campus. Do you… a) Become a chameleon—a ninja—a shadow. You vanish into the mist. b) Quickly make out with whoever is closest, to show you’ve moved on. c) Throw a wink their way. You know they still want some.
4) You could most easily imagine your professor having which hobby? a) Running a drug cartel. b) Being in a coven of witches / “the dark arts.” c) Diving.
8) What’s your favorite off-campus place to party? a) Downtown b) Chimney Ridge c) Aspen Heights
8-13: HIDE IN THE LAKE:
You are bold and courageous, and would much rather take to the high seas than try to take your finals. Adventure is what you really crave, so why sit through a boring exam when you can live among the fish and the female rowers? The lake is a great place to go chill out for a few days while the rest of the world stresses itself out with coffee and Adderall binges.
14-19: GET YOUR TEACHER DEPORTED:
Your political knowhow and manipulative nature are perfect for pulling off this dastardly deed. You can get rid of the evil professor that dared to daunt your class with a dreaded exam. You read some Machiavelli in that philosophy course you took freshman year, and are now eager to get your hands dirty.
20-24: STAGE YOUR OWN DEATH:
A master sleuth, you were a ninja or super spy in a past life. You slide beneath the radar, are undetectable to the oblivious, and are comfortable disappearing without a trace. You’ll just use one of your fake IDs to start a new life, Jason Bourne-style. If it works at TTTs, it will work at the TSA checkpoint, right?
1) A-1, B-2, C-3 ANSWER KEY: 2) A-2, B-3, C-1
3) A-3, B-2, C-1 4) A-2, B-3, C-1
5) A-2, B-1, C-3 6) A-3, B-2, C-1
7) A-1, B-2, C-3 8) A-1, B-3, C-2
PUB AND GRILL
THURSDAY NIGHT TRIVIA! WIN $ 100 BAR TAB $6.75 FOR A DOZEN WINGS • $5 YEUNGLING PITCHERS • $1 PBR
>
>
WEDNESDAYS: YEUNGS AND WINGS!