The Black Sheep
Fr ee kic ....lik kin e e g J lab eff or Dr ate isk da el y in dre th a e n ms ut of s!
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 11 10/25/12 - 10/31/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA
The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party wes allen wrote this
Is there anything greater in life than traveling to the Sunshine State and watching Georgia whoop Florida’s ass in some pigskin? The Black Sheep thought long (five minutes) and hard (we were wasted), and we couldn’t think of a damn thing better. Beating Florida is number one on this year’s agenda, and getting wasted and heckling Florida fans is number two. The Black Sheep is here to break down the The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and to remind everyone why we love traveling to Jacksonville and watching our squad beat the shit out of the Florida Shitters (that’s clever, right?). Georgia Tech sucks at everything except engineering (cool..?) so it’s straight foolish to consider them UGA’s biggest rival. Our students take sports and drinking seriously, while Georgia Tech takes math and physics seriously. C’mon, which one of those is going to help us win the hearts and minds of tomorrow’s space aliens? Florida is our biggest rival and that’s why UGA students turn it up to the maXXXimum at The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Yeah, we hate Florida, but at least these douche bags are willing to throw down with us - as the one thing we share with Florida is our love of beer. That’s it. That’s where we draw the line. Seriously, Florida fans wear JORTS and their messiah Tim Tebow fights bitches off to keep himself from ever passing first base. The gnarliest thing about this rivalry game is the location. Because this game is so intense, neither school is willing to play host to the event. Can you imagine the destruction that would take place on Florida’s campus? UGA students would have no problem introducing a little red and black to Gainesville—meaning we would torch that place with red flames and proudly leave it smoldering in black ash. Hell yeah, that sounds awesome. Luckily for the Gainesville Fire Department, this event takes place in Jacksonville, Florida, which is certainly a…place. Jacksonville allows this shit show to shut down the city once every year. And it’s just about that time of year. Yes, Jacksonville is a cool place, but it’s still technically Florida territory. That’s all well and good fellow UGA fans, because we have a little slice of paradise to call our own—St. Simons Island, AKA Frat Beach, bitches. Words cannot do Frat Beach justice, and we don’t really want to waste time trying. But here is a little of what to expect: BOOZE, jerseys (many are unrecognizably old school),
The Top Ten Places to Break Up On Campus
Anywhere but your apartment, you don’t want her tears to stain your couch!
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sorority tank tops, BOOZE, snap back hats, crunk music, BOOZE, dancing, Louisville Chuggers, BOOZE, beautiful people, indescribable debauchery, and may as well mention this one again because there will be a heavenly amount of BOOZE. If you make the pilgrimage to Jacksonville and do not attend Frat Beach—what are you doing here? Remember what we were saying about Georgia Tech? The University of Georgia is the finest institution in the land and everybody knows it, especially the University of Florida. Gator fans wish that they lived in the Classic City and had the college experiences that we do.
what’s inside The Pinterest of Porn
So have a goddamn ball in Jacksonville. Run around wasted and incoherently heckle as many jealous Florida fans as you can find. They know we are superior in all things. Florida is our humble servant and should bow down to all Dawg fans for allowing them to be our biggest rival. If you’re on probation and unable to leave the state, bummer, you have the only legitimate excuse for not attending The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. And The Black Sheep will say it now, loud and proud—IT’S GREAT TO BE A GEORGIA BULLDOG. And we’ll say it another 500 times on October 27th, 2012. We’ll see ya’ there.
Torture the Tour Groups!
in search of some journalism stories, our staff stumbled across Sex.com. We’re pretty creative, even when it comes to finding porn.
Before these prospective students get all full of themselves, we need to remind them they’re young and stupid.
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contents page 10: bartender of the week
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
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Ellie P from Athens Bagel Co. wants to Rick Ross her own dinner party.
page 11: from the streets
Table of
If you were elected president and could make any immediate changes, what would you do?
page 12: Hysterically Hilarious Hurried Halloween Habiliment Helper let your expectations for the night Halloween decide what last-minute costume you should choose!
page 13: We Interview: The Hush Sound After a short hiatus, this Chicago band is back with a reunion tour.
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page three p e e h S k The Blaicle App Mob
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“Yes my pretties, drink, drink the malignant elixir! Muahahehehe!” (Want to become famous next week? Awesome.)
Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
Swatters Tinker
Rail Clef Lorn
Do you know who these hotties are?
last week’s answers
Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
Charlize Theron & Paul Newman
word of the week Internpreter:
Colloquial term for a career center worker trained in parsing the vague language found in internship job postings.
“The internpreter I went to told me that ‘for class credit’ is just a nice way of saying an internship is unpaid.”
official black sheep tailgate party! SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20th AT SILVER DOLLAR STARTS AT 6:30 PM, KICK-OFF AT 7:PM!
FIRST 100 DRINKS: ONLY $1 • NEXT 200 DRINKS: ONLY $2
ALL NIGHT: GREAT DRINK SPECIALS, AWESOME PRIZES, AND SWEET SWAG!
the silver dollar
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The Top 10
Places To Break Up on Campus 10.) 4th Floor West MLC: Breakups can be messy, loud, and outright embarrassing. To minimize the public shame, break up with her in a place where she can’t be loud, for fear of being shushed by the roaming employees and Ritalin-addled students. 9.) Sanford Stadium: Ever want that cinematic end to a painful relationship? There is no better place than the Georgia “G” in the middle of Sanford Stadium. You can say your goodbyes and slowly walk 50 yards to the end zone, leaving her all alone beneath the stadium lights. Add “Your Hand in Mine” from Friday Night Lights for added dramatic effect and look back only once before you disappear forever. 8.) Tate Plaza: Knock that preacher out of the way and use his megaphone to let everyone in Tate Plaza (and pretty much anyone on campus) know that not only are you and your girlfriend over, but that you’re single and ready to mingle. At least that way there are plenty of Bibles ready to give her comfort. 7.) Founders Garden: Maybe you don’t want the break up to be public. Go to the Founders Garden where the only privy ears belong to the koi in the pond, except for the fact that they don’t have ears. 6.) Parking Decks: Seriously, any of them. If you are expecting a real tongue lashing (not the good kind), make your way to the upper floors of any parking deck. This way her yells of anger will be trapped in a concrete prison for only you and a few uncomfortable passersby to hear. 5.) Herty Field Fountain: If you are in the mood for a spectacle and know your soon-to-be exgirlfriend is physically aggressive, this fountain is the perfect place to cut her loose. Put some friends in the bushes with a few video cameras to film as she not only throws a tantrum but pushes you into the fountain. For the rest of your life you can get sympathy from any girl you want if you just show her the video.
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4.) Ramsey Center Rock Wall: Is your girlfriend the type who will refuse to acknowledge a breakup even when you tell her it’s over? Take her for a rock climbing adventure at Ramsey to seal the deal. Let her climb to the top and then tell her it’s over. If she refuses to accept it just tell her she can’t come down until she does. That’s why you belay her. 3.) ECV: Sometimes it’s best to go with the tried and true classic: A restaurant. Being a college student, you can’t actually afford to go to a real restaurant, so you’d have to settle for the next best thing. Take her to ECV and make sure she doesn’t get any colored drinks. That way, when she gets angry and throws whatever is in her glass at you, it won’t stain. 2.) The Dorms: A tried and true tactic for anyone living on campus. To be kind and save her all of her dignity, take her to your dorm to let her down gently. It’s quiet and private and won’t be messy. But that’s only if you’re nice. 1.) On Top of the Physics Building: There is nothing more romantic than venturing out to the roof of the Physics Building on a clear night. Stars blanket the sky, planets are in view, and it’s quiet and sometimes even remote. If you want to let that not-so-special-anymore someone down easy, do it here. If she won’t be able to take in the beauty of your face anymore, at least she can take in the beauty of the night sky.
Alex Edelstein wrote this
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theblacksheeponline.com
The Pinterest of Porn
Wes Allen wrote this
Two weeks ago, as the comedic geniuses of the The Black Sheep staff united forces to discuss our brilliance, we found ourselves struggling to harness our comical ingenuity. Our regular workshop staples of margaritas, tequila shots, and laptops were not producing the hilarious article concepts the world has come to expect from us. Trust us, the copious amounts of tequila had nothing to do with our struggles – so don’t even try to “blame it on the al al al al al alcohol, baby,” because booze is our only catalyst for writing.
to upload, browse, and customize content, while also providing an area to give feedback? This is the future of the Internet! Want proof? Here it is: The titans of the Internet industry—porn executives—love it.
Admittedly, our difficulties stemmed from a website whose content would make Richard Simmons frown. We were looking at Pinterest… but it was porn. We were looking at porn… but it was Pinterest. No wonder we couldn’t think of awesome shit to write—we were looking at the Pinterest of Porn—Sex.com.
“Sex.com allows you to gather, organize and share all the free porn you find on the web! People create pinboards to bookmark all their favorite porn videos & pictures. With just one click, you can pin porn from anywhere on the web and add it to one of your pinboards.”
Seriously, how popular has Pinterest become in today’s society? In the olden days of 2010, Facebook would be prime suspect for most popular website amongst college students. Times have changed and Pinterest runs shit now, at least amongst females. Daily, The Black Sheep staff sees girls browsing the site, talking about something they thought was pinnable, or making absurd crafts and desserts they have run across while pinning. College girls like Pinterest as much as they like getting money from their parents, but why? Pinterest is successful because it allows the user to take everything they like on the Internet and organize it visually. Maybe that’s why guys don’t use it – organization is dumb and the world would be better off without it. The user has the ability to upload anything they see on the world wide web. Conversely, anything uploaded can be seen by your friends. The content is then arranged into searchable categories: food, weddings, puppies, home décor, periods, etc. This is a website that organizes similar interests, while making it easy
torture the tour groups! jess wise wrote this
Sex.com, the second most expensive Internet domain in the world (worth approx 13 milli), copied the absolute shit out of Pinterest. Like the whole entire concept. This is Sex.com’s description of themselves:
Does that description sound eerily familiar? If not, please stop touching yourself and pay more attention. Everything about Sex.com screams, “I am Pinterest, hear me roar!” —except for the content... And oh, does Sex.com provide the content. The Black Sheep values originality (but way less than you are probably thinking), however we also know a superior product when we see one. Sex.com is the best porn website we have ever seen, Pinterest is not. Obviously our vessel for masturbation is our favorite of the two sites. Sex.com appeals to every dude that doesn’t do Pinterest, which is still hovering at around 99.9999 percent of all guys. But while guys are avoiding Pinterest like the plague, The Black Sheep knows that ladies will leave the comfort of Pinterest to browse Sex.com, “for the familiar layout of course.” Ha ha, yeah, right. It’s because girls like orgasms too and it’s a ridiculous notion that porn has an exclusively male audience. Ultimately, Sex.com is more focused than Pinterest and that’s why the stolen concept works so well. The entirety of the Internet is not at your disposal when uploading or surfing Sex.com. The content is sex—so
Remember when you were deciding to come to UGA? You put on your best khakis and headed up to Athens with your parents. You weren’t really sure what to expect, but as you walked around campus and the tour guide told you about life here, you got chills. This was the place for you! You looked around, and every person seemed like they could be your future classmate, your future RA. What you didn’t know as you trudged around campus on that first tour is that the people around you, your possible future classmates, already hate you. You may be enraptured by a fog of naïve, precollege excitement, but we would rather you just leave our campus and never come back. Seriously, those tours are the worst. Because of the ridiculous system that requires the tour guides to walk backwards, the groups trudge behind them at such a mind-numbingly slow pace that any actual student caught behind them is sure to miss their next class. Also, what is with the staring? The people on those tours seem to regard our campus as a museum where they are free to ogle anyone and everyone they see. “Look, sweetie! A person on a laptop!” Riveting. No, really, it totally makes sense that they’re staring. Nothing captures the imagination like watching someone else work on a paper. Because they’re so awful, it’s time we start messing with the tour groups as they traipse through our study spaces, whispering and pointing. What could be more satisfying than making them as uncomfortable as they make us? On the upside, high school students are incredibly easy to scare. They are so desperate to seem cool that they are frozen with terror. One tactic that that you can employ may be a little subtle, but it usually does the trick: Cry. Just look as depressed as possible. If they stare at you while you are studying in the SLC, burst into tears. If they walk past you on North Campus, collapse in a puddle of despair. College is stressful, but the goal here is to make them think that it’s actually so terrible they will lose their minds. It’s hilarious to watch the fear in their eyes.
please, no wedding pins! There are 59 unique categories to choose from on Sex.com; the A’s include: Amateur, Anal, Asian, Ass, and Athletic. Does the public even need the other 54 category options? Let’s say you and your significant other are unique and like watching hairy, Hentai shemales do their thing on camera. Now you have a site that allows for a search of all that weirdness. If you read this entire article without searching Sex.com on any device with Internet capabilities—God bless your soul, you are stronger people than we at The Black Sheep. When you do get there and stumble across the hairy, Hentai shemale pins, know that our staff didn’t pin those. But we probably saw them, even though we’re not into that. At all. Scout’s honor.
Another casual way to mess with their minds would be to trace chalk outlines of our bodies on the sidewalks all over campus (and on the buildings, if we are really dedicated). Just as the tour guide starts their speech on safety, 30 heads turn as they catch a glimpse of a chalk body. And another one! Add some blood to the scene if you want to make it more realistic. Literally EVERYWHERE becomes a crime scene. If you want to simply unnerve them, then put on your creepiest outfit and hit on them relentlessly. Pay no attention to gender, attractiveness level, or the amount of interest they show. Just go after them with everything you’ve got. Even funnier, hit on their parents. This plan is high risk, high reward, but if someone had tried to pick up my mother on a college tour, I would have died on the spot. We could also make their tour more high stakes than any tour has ever been. Walk up to a group and pull them off to the side, whispering that you have a super exclusive secret. All they have to do is break into Sanford Stadium, and they’ll get to see things hidden to most prospective students. Sure, they say this is against the rules, but that’s just to weed out the people who don’t have what it takes. Only the ballsiest incoming freshmen get to experience this honor. What you don’t tell them is that the exciting things they’ll get to see are the inside of a police car and a jail cell. Finally, as a representation of the confusing intersection between hyper-Christianity and casual sex on campus, you could hand out Bibles with condoms as bookmarks. That way, the incoming students will have every possible base covered. Some might say blasphemy, but they don’t understand Jesus like you do. He hung out with prostitutes, you guys. He was probably the world’s first advocate for safe sex. Whether you choose one of these tactics or come up with some of your own, it’s important that we start showing the tour groups what’s in store for them when they start here at UGA. They asked for it.
The Grid Friday & Saturday Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
Friday & Saturday Happy Hour until 11pm!
Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita
Monday - friday Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm: $1.50 Champagne and Domestic Bottles, $3.25 House Wines, Wells and Drafts, $1 Off (Almost) Everything Else
THURSDAY 10/25
$3 Pitchers $2 Wells
$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi $4 Jack 3 Bombs for $10
Bomb Night $2 Cruzan Bombs $3 Jager Bombs $3 Bacardi Bombs $5 Moonshine Margaritas
$2 Speciality Martinis for Ladies $2.50 Yuengling for All Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm Adult Swim 10pm -11pm!
FRIday 10/26
Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
Happy Hour until 11!
$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas
Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm: $1.50 Champagne and Domestic Bottles, $3.25 House Wines, Wells and Drafts, $1 Off (Almost) Everything Else Adult Swim from 10-11!
SATurday 10/27
Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
Happy Hour until 11!
$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas
Adult Swim! 10pm - 11pm $2 Wells, Wines, and Domestic Bottles $2.50 Grand Marnier $2.50 Cazadores Tequila
SPECIAL NIGHT
SUNday 10/28
Sunday Funday!
Gruet Champagne Mimosas 15 Draft Beers all for $3.25 $2.50 Grand Marnier All Day!
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
$1 Wells & Shots $2 Domestics 3 Bombs for $10
Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita
Bottomless Spinach Dip! $2 Wells Martinis $3.25 Specialty Cocktails Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
tuesday 10/30
$2 All Bottled Beer
$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10
Dollar Night $1 Shots/Shooters $1 Wells $5 Moonshine Margarita
Taco Tuesday! $1 Pulled Pork Tacos 7pm - 10pm 10pm - 2am: $2.75 Drafts Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
WED. 10/31
$2 Wells $2 Domestics
$2 Wells and Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10
Ladies Night: $3 Martinis $6 Bottles of House Wine (White or Red) $5 Moonshine Margarita
10 Wings + A Pitcher of Yuengling or Heineken for only $10! 10pm - 2am: $2 Wells Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
monday 10/29
If you don’t start following us...
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@BLACKSHEEP_UGA Scan to go right to the page!
The Grid Everyday! Happy Hour 5pm - 10pm: $2 Wells & Domestics
Everyday! $2 Tall Boys
Happy Hour 4 - 10 P.M. Monday - Thursday Happy Hour 12-10 P.M on Fridays $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else!
$2 Champagne $3 Wells
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
LADIES NIGHT! Soup of the Day: Vodka $2 Martinis, $2 Vodka Shots & Shooters Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else
$2 Shot Specials
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
Happy Hour 12-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Breakfast, Bloodies, and Brews (Only on Gamedays)! Complementary Breakfast Beer Specials & Bloody Mary Specials
SPECIAL NIGHT
Everyday! Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm: $2 Drinks and Shots, $1.50 Bud Light
THURSDAY 10/25
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm
Ladies Night! 11pm - 2am $2 Speciality Martinis $6 Wine Bottles
FRIday 10/26
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!
SATurday 10/27
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!
$2 Shot Specials
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
SUNday 10/28
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
monday 10/29
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! 11pm - 2am: $1 Wells, Drinks, Shots & Shooters
$1 Domestic Drafts $3 Wells
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Live Music!
tuesday 10/30
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! Koozie Night 11pm - 2am! $1 Tallboys $2 Drinks & Shots
$2 Wells & Domestics All Night!
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Happy Hour ALL DAY! $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else
WED. 10/31
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! After 11: Karaoke with Kenny! $1 Shots, $3 Drinks
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Soup of the Day: Whiskey $2 Bourbon Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else
$10 Bottomless Wine, $3 Wells
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The Grid $2.25 Doug Styles
All Day, every day! $2 Natty Light Tallboys, $3 Crystal Lt. & Vodka Drinks $3 Margaritas, $3 Cuervo Tequila & Smirnoff Flavor Slammers
Everyday! Power Hour 9pm -11pm: $1 Wells, $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
Everyday: 2 for 1 VIP & Floor Dances till 8PM *All Night on Tuesdays
power hour daily! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
SPECIAL NIGHT
David Liebe Hart (from Tim and Eric Awesome Show) and Manger 11pm $2.50 Stella Artois $3 Absolut Drinks
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
$3 Cover $2 PBR, $3 Wells $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Book your socials for exclusive group deals!
THURS. 10/25
Patio Dance Party with DJ SEOULO and KEIS $1.50 PBR Happy Hour Specials from 4pm - 9pm
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
FRI. 10/26
DJ MAHOGANY AND EasyRider
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
$2.25 Doug Styles
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
SAT. 10/27
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
SUN. 10/28
$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Fireball
$1 Wine Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
50% Off Everything!
No Cover! $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
$1 Drinks & Shots
MON. 10/29
$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Tullamore Dew
$2 Pitchers, $2 Wine $2 Moonshine Drinks and Shots Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
$2 Vodka Well Drinks $2 High Life Pitchers $4 Skinny Girl Cucumber Vodka Drinks $5 Wine Bottles $5 Bottles of Wine
$1 Tuesdays $1 Cover $1 House Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 Vip and Floor Dances ALL Night!
$2 Drinks & Shots
TUES. 10/30
Hallo-Weird Dance Party with DJ Z-Dogg, IMMUZIKATION, And Twin Powers | Costume contest and scary cocktail specials $1.50 Off All Pitchers! $2.50 Lone Star Tall Boys, $2.25 Doug Styles
$1 Wine $1 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
$2 Well Drinks
$2 Cover, $3 Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Ladies Night! $1 Wells
WED. 10/31
Saturday! DJ MAHOGANY AND EasyRider Ghostbusters on the patio at 9PM Halloween Dance Party at 11pm
Ghostbusters on the patio at 9PM Halloween Dance Party at 11pm
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
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theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week ellie P. athens bagel co. Relationship Status: Single Major: Psychology What’s the craziest thing you’d do for one million dollars? Go to class naked, but I’d do way worse. You name it. Who deserves badass of the year award? The Red Bull guy— the guy that fell from almost outer space. What’s something you wouldn’t mind getting arrested for? Tackling the evangelists in Tate. What do you think is God’s favorite drink? Crown, Maker’s, and water… get it? Harry Potter or Twilight? Harry Potter. I’m all about some Quidditch. What’s the weirdest customer you’ve ever served? The guy that told me specifically, step-by-step, how to make his martini while describing every little aspect about it. What board game do you wish real life was like? Definitely Candy Land. I like all the crazy things in it!
the drinking game
hocus pocus For anyone who ever had an ounce of a real childhood, October is all about the Thirteen Nights of Halloween on ABC Family. Between sexy high school virgins and Sarah Jessica Parker as a witch, Hocus Pocus is bound to get anyone going. What You’ll Need: Beer and Hocus Pocus. Number of Players: As many as you can get. Everyone loves it, shouldn’t be too hard. Level of Intoxication: Great game to a get an early night buzz going. How to Play: - Sit back with some brewskies and watch Hocus Pocus. Anytime something on this list appears in the film, you must drink your beer for a few seconds. - Drink when: - A spell is cast. - Sarah Jessica Parker sings. - Someone mentions a virgin. - The black flame candle is mentioned. - Binks (in cat or human form) says “Emily.” - Max gets bullied. - Bette Midler says “sisters.” - Sarah Jessica Parker flirts. - The magic book’s eye moves. - If someone forgets to drink, they must shotgun a new can of beer. The Game Ends When: Spoiler Alert: The witches turn to stone! Shotgun your last beer, and enjoy the rest of the magical night.
download our app for all of our drinking games!
What mythical creatures are you glad aren’t real? I definitely want a unicorn. But that’s a shared national dream. I’m glad the boogeyman isn’t real! Lurking under my bed, grabbing my ankle. What’s the most badass Halloween costume you’ve ever heard of? Chuck Norris. Whom would you invite to a dinner party for yourself and three others? Channing Tatum, Ellen Degeneres, and Rick Ross. Got somebody hot, somebody funny and I Rick Rossed my own dinner party. What’s the dumbest thing about this election? That I would vote for keyboard cat over either candidate. And binders of women. Which drink best describes your personality? Victory Golden Monkey. Subtle, distinct. How many toddlers could you take in a fight? It depends on how fast I can punt them across the street. Until my leg gets tired of punting them.
Recipe for Disaster
pumpk’n pudd’n ‘Tis the season for jack o’ lanterns and stealing candy out of the hands of little, helpless children (okay, we’re not that heartless. We leave them a Skittle or two). This will put your excess pumpkins to use, in case you have some leftovers after throwing your pumpkin guts at the neighbors. What You’ll Need: A pumpkin, rice, milk, brown sugar, and ground cinnamon. Cook Time: 45 minutes (but it’s well worth the wait!). Fatty Factor: You’ll get a hell of a sugar high but nothing too serious. Let’s Get Baked: - Combine 1 cup of rice, 3 cups of milk, and 1 cup of brown sugar in a saucepan. - Heat and stir until the mixture boils. - Continue to stir until rice is tender and most of the milk is absorbed. - Mix in a separate bowl 1 cup of mashed pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. - Take your new mixture and put it into your heated concoction. - Stir in 1/2 cup of milk until it looks like a pudding mixture. - Let cool or chill in a refrigerator. - Once it’s set, dive on in and enjoy! If you’re trying to get real fancy wit’ it, sprinkle some cinnamon, pecans and whipped cream on top. This pudding will make you feel like you just got laid by someone who actually likes and respects you. No more pity sex, ever!
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From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
If you were elected president and could make any immediate changes, what would you do? “Not only will America have universal healthcare, I’d institute a universal meal plan. Or just make my best friend my VP.”- Natacha D, 4th Year
“I would paint the White House turquoise. Then I’d build a moat around it and put manatees in the moat. To top it off, I’d put cannons on the roof.” - Carly S., Grad Student
“I would swap work weeks to the weekend. Five day weekends for everybody!” - Hannah S., 4th Year
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
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Hysterically Hilarious Hurried Halloween Habiliment Helper
gender cat/hippie Slutty hooker/ box robot/ risque bizniz neutral ghost ryan locthe
the interview
the hush sound
The Hush Sound is a Chicago rock band that plays music and has also been known to eat food. After going on hiatus in 2009, they recently announced a reunion tour across the Midwest. To celebrate, we deigned to speak with vocalist and guitarist Bob Morris, as well as vocalist and pianist Greta Morgan. They were nice. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: What brought about The Hush Sound doing a reunion tour after being on hiatus for several years? Bob Morris: It was a perfect storm. We were happy just doing shows together once in a while, but our personal lives just all lined up. Greta and I got back in touch, we’ve grown in some cool ways and we’re all excited to play music together again, so we decided to tour. TBS: When you say, “getting back in touch,” what do you mean by that? Like, what to what degree did you guys stay in touch when you were on hiatus? Bob: Stressing about the break, or without the understanding of what we were, there wasn’t that much communication. Time heals all wounds. We realized that there wasn’t anything actually wrong, it was just issues we created ourselves. The day I quit this other band I instinctually called Greta. She’s like family, even if we were mad at each other at some point. Eventually we started hanging out and playing music, and we decided to do a tour. TBS: What’s it like preparing for a tour when you haven’t played music together regularly for several years? Greta Morgan: We take it on a show-by-show basis. We’ve played a few times a year for the past three years. Whether they were private college shows or hometown Chicago shows, we’ve been getting together, rehearsing the songs. Approaching these old songs, we can find something new in an old lyric, something that’s about our lives now. I mean, I wrote most of these songs before I graduated high school, and we put out our last album when I was 18, I think. TBS: So do you ever look back at your songs and say, “What the hell was I thinking?” Bob: Yes, I do think that sometimes. At the same time, when you say something and you’re young, it’s before you’ve seen anything in the world, so it’s this primal, reactionary thing. I think there’s something special about a band’s first album that is hard to replicate, but as you do it again you get better and better at expressing yourself. TBS: Is there anything where it’s just too embarrassing, where it’s just like, “No way we’re doing this song?” Greta: Oh yeah. Bob: Oh yeah. Greta: That’s what I was saying about finding something new about a song. There are a few songs during rehearsal where Bob would say, “There’s no emotion to your vocals,” but it’s hard to flash back to when you’re 16 so you can feel it. Bob would say, “Try it like it’s an instrument— like you’re a trombone player or it’s a flute.” Bob saying that all of a sudden shows you this old thing in a new way and you can find something new in it. TBS: What do you expect to get out of this short tour? Greta: It’s just an experiment to see how much fun we can have touring and playing together. Also, it’s really exciting to reconnect with fans that saw us in 2005 or 2006, their tastes have changed, as have ours. Beyond that, it’s wild to see these kids all grown up with their husbands or wives or kids. It’s a wild transition. Bob: And to your point about music taking on a new meaning, a friend of ours, Eric from Gold Motel (Ed. Note: Greta’s other band) just tweeted about how music you listen to when you’re 14 to 17 sticks with you. I know what he’s talking about—when I listen to some of the punk I listened to growing up, I think “Man, some of this is really awful.” TBS: Yeah, I know an embarrassing amount of KoRn songs. Speaking of touring, what’s the weirdest venue you’ve played in? Bob: We’ve played in a parking lot of Augusta, Georgia when the promoter didn’t have a PA, and a club in Long Island that had glass showers all around the club. Greta: Yeah, it was a strip club turned into a strip club. It was super-weird. When we started we’d play basements, Legion halls and VFWs. TBS: How do you engage with a crowd when you’re on stage? Greta: It’s really up to the band to start the ignition, but whether or not the audience responds in an excited, unguarded way, or if they stand back and just hang out, that determines how a show will go. Bob: And however potent the ecstasy is that we hand out before the show. TBS: Remind me to stop by your show.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
cloud atlas in theaters october 26
This trippy movie starring Tom Hanks and Halle Berry tells a tale of how your individual actions from way back in the day will effect what happens to you (and others) well into the future, even when “you” aren’t around anymore. Equal parts action, mystery, and romance, this film sees actors negotiate different roles in different points in the movie’s history. They’re the same, but different. Whoa, man, this is deep.
the walking dead sunday, october 28 at 9pm on amc
In the third episode of season three Andrea and Michonne are still struggling through the zombie apocalypse, but they do stumble upon a new community of survivors. Now an epic decision needs to be made; should they stay with them via the whole “power in numbers” philosophy, or should they stick with what they know? #zombieproblems
calvin harris - 18 months in stores october 30
18 Months is the third studio release from Scottish DJ and producer Calvin Harris, the same guy who brought you “Feel So Close,” the whimsical tune about the feelings EDM kids get when they take drugs together and go to a Calvin Harris show. His latest single “Sweet Nothing” features the lovely sounds of Florence Welch, which seems appropriate given the title of the song.
play Halloween bingo! Send in pictures that lead to BINGO and win a prize! Email us at bingo@theblacksheeponline.com
Playboy Bunny
Pirate
French Maid
Cheerleader
Nurse
Beer Wench
Firefighter
Toga
Hippie
Cat woman
School Girl
Pilot
Angel
Bumble Bee
Devil
Ladybug
Police Officer
Girl scout
Sailor
Fairy
Cave Girl
Witch
Disney Princess
Jailbird
the classtime Husband: • Rob Zombie • Pinhead • Count von Count • Mike Myers wife: • Elvira, Mistress of the Dark • Carrie White • Roseanne Barr • Samara Morgan met at: • A pet sematary •Those hills that have eyes • The house at the end of the street • Camp Crystal Lake
How to play:
Editorial manager Cutler Sheridan Advertising Managers Megan Thompson Sibonee Latty Writers Riley Humes, Jess Wise Katherine Weimer, Wes Allen Alex Edelstein, Sarra Sedghi photographer You? Come on... distribution manager Sierra Moore pr/Marketing TEAM Sierra Moore
double date couple: • The Frankensteins • Jack Skellington and Sally • Chucky and his bride • Gomez and Morticia Addams
wedding dinner: • BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!! • Franken Berry • The blood of 1,000 babies • Liver, with fava beans and a nice chianti
How you die: Honeymoon Destination: • By creepy kids • A zombie attack • Sunny Transylvania • Becoming possessed • A cabin in the woods • Stabbing. Lots of stabbing. • Amityville • The Overlook Hotel shared tombstone quote: favorite rom-com: • Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness • “ ‘Till death do us fart!” • “We’ll be back.” • Troll 2 • “Eh. Have you seen a horror • Killer Klowns from Outer movie?” Space • “Paging Dr. Frankenstein!” • The Killer Condom
Doodle some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
Meet The Staff campus manager Cutler Sheridan
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Find Us At...
campus director Brendan Bonham owner Atish Doshi Founders Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com Hate Us? lame@theblacksheeponline.com
8E’s City Bar The Globe Barberitos Nona’s Planet Smoothie Bar South JR’s The Mad Hatter Chango’s Landmark Properties “Speak Easy Tapas Boar’s Head Lounge Pita Pit The Pub at Gameday* Cloud & Bar” Buffalo’s Capital Room Toppers International Transmet Cutter’s Pub Starbucks Bulldawg Pizza Copper Creek Show Bar Volstead Flanagan’s Sweet Peppers Deli Little Caesars Fuzzy’s Georgia Theatre Whiskey Bent Foxhole Lounge The Manor Mirko Pasta Max Canada (Bar) Hangover Blue Sky Genco Import ComThe Winery ABC Package Sand Bar Little Italy Silver Dollar pany (bar) Treppenhaus Aftermath Ted’s Most Best Mama Goldberg’s The Grill Jack’s Bar Your Pie Bourbon Street (bar) “Washington Street Deli Yummy Pho Vietnam- Jerzees Sports Bar “Walkers Coffee Shop Buddha Bar Pour House” Nowhere Bar & Pub“ Junkmans Daughter ese Cuisine Downtowner New Earth Roadhouse Yoguri Moonshine Bar 9D’s East West Greek Row! Choo Choo Express The Branded Butcher On the Rocks All Good Lounge Five Star Day Cafe Blind Pig Johnnys Pizza Shokitini Amicis Grilled Teriyaki 40 Watt Athens Bagel Co The Bury Bar Code Jittery Joes
Disclaimer
The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
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the classtime spooky movies
silence of the lambs
Scream dracula the haunting
jaws pyscho
blair witch project
the exorcist
poltergeist
godzilla
the ring halloween
paranormal activity
nightmare on elm street
anaconda
the shining
white noise
aliens
frakenstein
saw
the grudge
Hallo-weird weekend!
Thursday, Oct. 25 friday, Oct. 26 saturday, Oct. 27
DAVID LIEBE HART PATIO DANCE PARTY (FROM TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW) AND MANGER AT 11PM
WITH DJ SEOULO AND KEIS
wednesday, october 31
DJ MAHOGANY AND EASYRIDER SHOWING GHOSTBUSTERS ON THE PATIO AT 9PM HALLOWEEN DANCE PARTY AT 11PM!
HALLO-WEIRD DANCE PARTY WITH DJ Z-DOGG, IMMUZIKATION, AND TWIN POWERS COSTUME CONTEST AND SCARY COCKTAIL SPECIALS!