Volume 11
The Black Sheep
FR PRO EE! LI BAB KE A LY S TAT HOU TOO L D N YO U ’T G ET.
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Issue 4
I’m U of M’s Benedict Arnold Arch Stanton wrote this I’ve turned Benedict Arnold on the A2 (Arrogant Assholes) in A2 (Ann Arbor). I am a transfer student from the most boring and dull excuse for a college in the history of higher education. While I’ve only been in East Lansing for a short period of time, I knew on day one that MSU was a shit-ton better than U of M. East Lansing is full of interesting, gorgeous people who know how to have fun; which was a nice change of pace from the zombies walking around their precious “Diag.” There are a few interesting tidbits that the dickheads at UM like to keep secret, but I might as well go Full Benedict and share what I know. The orientation to U of M is unlike any other kind of orientation. On the first day, each new student is taught how to stick their head so far up their ass—past the silver spoon of course—that it could never be pulled out. Then the slapdicks are brought into a giant room where they have large speakers set up that blast “You are better than everyone!” on repeat. A few hours of brainwashing later and out walks a class of delusional students who think they go to an Ivy League school and boo their own team because they have zero school spirit (unlike the millions of redneck Walmart Wolverines, who wear Michigan shit religiously, but couldn’t get into Wayne County Community College). The University of Michigan is like a giant animal that swallows up those who are dumb enough to actually apply, and after a few short years, shits them out covered in U of M gear babbling about their lives as Wolverines.
“How many U of M students does it take to throw a party? Don’t hold your breath, they have to look up ‘party’ in the dictionary first.” Part of the Kool-Aid that all students must drink is a heavy serving of nostalgia. The University of Living in the Past relies heavily on how much they have achieved over the span of 50 years instead of what they have done lately (which is nothing). It is interesting, though, that a school which prides itself on its past doesn’t bring up the fact it gave Ted Kaczynski a PhD just before he became a serial mass murderer known as the Unabomber. Any “true” Michigan fan will turn a deaf ear to that tasty nugget of knowledge, and switch the topic to sports. Hearing a Michigan fan talk about how great their football team is-which is made-up bullshit-- and how great they were would drive any person insane and begging for mercy. The current roster of Wolverines is a mix of 10th-string backups from other schools and whoever they could hand a flyer out to in time for the first practice. They may have won a few championships during the Great Depression, but in the past 50 years the Wolverines have been about as frightening as a faint fart.
One of the requirements for admission into the shit hole that is U of M is that all students must have the personality of a wet cardboard box. This personality requirement is to supplement the brainwashing, so upon graduation, the student will have nothing in their life but Maize and Blue horseshit. If the student has a halfway intelligent, semi-interesting personality, they would never buy into the idea that Michigan students are better than everyone else. That is why the application is so long, because anyone with a life would see the number of essays and questions on the Michigan Common App and drop the idea of going there like a bad habit. Claiming to be great is their idea of a life. Talking about
Michigan is their idea of a personality. How many U of M students does it take to throw a party? Don’t hold your breath, they have to look up “party” in the dictionary first. The biggest, and best, difference will be the feeling of sitting in a winning student section this season, and the look on the scared little Walmart Wolverines when they enter the coliseum that is Spartan Stadium. And when they look up at the scoreboard after they have been verbally and physically abused on (and off ) the field, they will see us standing there, middle fingers high and a booming chant of “Asshole!” in their direction.
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A GUIDE TO KILLING IT ON TINDER
DRUNKEN SENIOR STOPS SOMALI PIRATE HIJACKING OF RIVERBOAT
THE BLACK SHEEP INTERVIEWS: SARAH JAFFE
HIS MAD BEER PONG SKILLS HAVE PAID OFF YET AGAIN.
WE CHAT WITH THE SINGER/SONGWRITER ABOUT HER TOUR AND LATEST ALBUM.
HOTTIES AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT.
FOLLOW US @BLACKSHEEP_MSU SEPTEMBER 11th, 2014 - SEPTEMBER 18th, 2014 THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
PAGE 3
A FEW MORE WAYS
BEAT OUR CAPTION!
TO KILL SOME TIME.
THE GROSS SEX EUPHEMISM OR SERIAL KILLER NICKNAME GAME!
THE BRIDES IN THE BATH “Jay quietly wondered if today was the day he’s finally pop that zit on his scalp.” Tweet us a better caption and win a prize!
WORD of the WEEK
CATAPPALLED To be so offended by something, one is forced to launch oneself into a stranger’s conversation. Ziev was so catappalled at the discussion between two Holocaust deniers, he couldn’t help but angrily approach them.
The above phrase is either a gross sex euphemism or a serial killer’s nickname. Which is it? Let us know by tweeting us your answer. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize! Check back next week for this week’s answer!
GUESS THE REALITY TV STAR! Whatever your dirty pleasure may be, don’t deny you watch reality TV. To the left is a silhouette of a reality TV star, and below are three clues as to who the person is. Let us know who you think it is by tweeting us your answer. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!
1
Was Playboy Playmate of the Month in November, 1980.
2
Appeared in ZZ Top’s video, “Legs.”
3
Husband is former MLB pitcher.
# # #
PLAY WITH US! @BLACKSHEEP_MSU
PARTY PICS
Tweet us your #partypics, or send them to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
ON THE STREETS WHAT’S THE GROSSEST THING YOU’VE EVER PUT IN YOUR MOUTH? Carley
“I’ve eaten a bug before.”
Bryan
“I used to eat chalk…”
Khaleesi
“I eat my own poop sometimes.”
04
SWEET, SWEET LOVIN’
THE TOP TEN Drunken Spartan Situations Oh, college. College is a time of self-discovery, education, and getting shit-faced with your friends and fellow students; which is why we’ve compiled this week’s most revered list to round up the top 10 drunken situations you will find yourself in while at Michigan State. 10.) The Classic Pre-Game: If you’re going out in college, you will pre-game before the party, bar, or whatever event you will find your drunk ass stumbling to. Expect a plethora of icebreaking drinking games such as waterfall, flip cup, and king’s cup. During this time, you will make friends and enemies, as this shit gets SERIOUS. 9.) The Bathroom Buddy System: This is aimed at college women, because we’ve never seen a line for the guys’ bathroom, ever. In the bathroom line at the bar you are guaranteed to meet your new BFF. You’ll like her shoes or something, and you two will giggle and bond over the fact that you BOTH LOVE PIZZA!!! WHAT A COINCIDENCE! You’ll exchange numbers and say you just “havvve to meet up,” and then you’ll never see each other again. Repeat every weekend. 8.) The Dance Floor Twerk Out: Whether you like to dance or not, if you get enough tequila pumping through those veins, you will convince yourself you can twerk or dougie at Dublin.
A GUIDE TO
KILLING IT ON TINDER
7.) Fireballpalooza: Fireball is a delicious concoction of cinnamon and whiskey; of course you’re going to go overboard. What will start as casual pulls from the bottle will ultimately turn into you drinking from that bottle like an athlete drinks Gatorade after a tough game. Your morning, however, will not be fun.
Tom White wrote this
I bet you’re a chill dude like me so stop me once this sounds familiar: once or maybe six times in your life you’ve been super frustrated and maybe even started crying a little because you can’t pick up chicks so you try and punch a hole in the wall, but you forget you’re super weak and end up breaking your hand on the cheap drywall of some dirt bungalow on Stoddard. Call me Garfield if you want, but I think we can all agree that’s one rough Monday. Those days are over for us now, friends. That’s right, no more hanging around Akers’ parking lot telling freshman ladies you’re totally down to share some of your Mike’s Hard with them if they ever want to party. No more trying to grind on honeys and get laid at festivals where you accidently ingest a bunch of morphine instead of molly at Electric Forest and end up crapping your dungarees in a soccer mom chair while you’re comatose for 6 hours and your friends never stop talking about it (let it go, Bruce!). Nobody will even call you Lubin’ Ruben anymore just because of an unfortunate middle name (thanks, MOM) and a few awkward encounters when you were“handling”business in the communal dorm showers freshman year. The holy grail of laying down rail is here my blue balled compadres and it’s called Tinder. You scroll through pictures of people, swiping right if you’d bang them or left if you’re gonna be a total baby about it and wouldn’t. If two people mutually swipe right, a chat box between the lovebirds opens and then it’s game on. Anyone from the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt to that weird kid always walking with a snake curled around his neck down on Grand River can begin negotiating for genital pictures. If you want to get the babes swipin’ right, first you’ll need to get a kick-ass picture. If you
do biceps 4 times a week at IM West so you can look like a reverse T-Rex (we all know leg day is for mama’s boys) you’re set! Slick your Macklemore cut back extra tight n’ greasy, flex those bad boys, snap a selfie in your Cedar Village bathroom mirror and let the matches pile up. If you don’t have bad boys find a picture where you’re lurking in the shadows behind a more attractive and prominently featured person and pretend to be them. A little deception never got in the way of romance or finger banging.
“Anyone from the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt to that weird kid always walking with a snake curled around his neck down on Grand River can begin negotiating for genital pictures.” Once you’re matched up thanks to your alluring bad boys or blatant deception, now comes the most critical maneuver, communicating. Don’t sweat it though, on Tinder no one can hear you mouth breathe. All you have to do is be semi-literate and don’t immediately ask for bush pics. Scroll through her pictures, find out what she likes and strike up conversation based around mutual interests even if you have to stretch the truth a bit. Is she wearing a dress in any of them? Well looks like she found Mr. Right because as you’ll tell her, “I like to wear dresses 2! crazy how close we are already… I think I love you”. That’s right boys, don’t let Mitt Romney and Fox News scare you away from expressing your emotions. Drop the L word immediately and frequently, that’s just good foreplay. After you’ve established that you both like dresses and are in love, time to ask for the Sparty Special, the ol’ 2a.m booty call. Don’t be nervous though, love warrior, you’ve already lit the spark of moist sexy love, time to go turn in that V-Card.
6.) Drunk Kitchen: You will think of combinations that will disgust you in the morning, but at the time, it will be goddamn glorious. Ramen noodles with a combination of soy sauce, Ragu sauce, and sprinkles? Hell yes! 5.) The “I’m not drunk enough for this shit” Party: You left work or some other obligation late and have to play catch-up. Typically you run out of booze and are left to deal with all the drunken dumbasses around you. You’ll be hunting for alcohol like Harry Potter hunts Horcruxes. Sometimes you’ll be successful. Sometimes you’ll just have to manage. 4.) The “I’m too drunk for this shit” Party: You have enough #liquidcourage to talk to that cute guy in the corner, and suddenly the three shots you pounded back five minutes ago to obtain said courage (in addition to the shots you took at the Classic Pregame), you suddenly find yourself bilingual. We give you a lasting time of around an hour before you and your friend decide it’s time for you to go home. 3.) The Competitive Beer Pong Game: It all starts out as a friendly game between two pairs, sometimes strangers and sometimes friends. After the game progresses, it’ll turn into an all-out bloodbath between the two parties, both who are sure they’re meant to win. Tears will be shed and friendships will be broken. Don’t worry, though; you’ll make up in the morning. 2.) The “You weren’t in the mood to go out, go out anyway, and end up being the drunkest one there” Night: “It’ll be fun!” they promise. So, you drag yourself away from Netflix and they reward you with shots; lots of shots. Soon you’re the life of the party and get MVP of the night. 1.) The Philosophical Discussion (That Makes No Sense in the Morning): Usually this will happen on the walk back home down Grand River, where you and a friend grab Panchero’s and contemplate the philosophical significance of rice in burritos, and this totally seems deep as shit to you at the time, but ultimately your state of enlightenment will leave with the arrival of your hangover. Molly Burford wrote this
LOCAL HOTTIES
Conrad’s Workers Are
Hotter
Than Hot Tots
When you walk into Conrad’s not only are you greeted by the intoxicating aroma of wraps grilled to perfection, but you’re hit by a musk that can only be described as pure sex. That’s because the hottest motherfuckers alive work there. Chicks flock to Conrad’s not only for the Mac & Cheese Bites but to get a glimpse of the hotties with the totties.
exquisite hunk.
When the delivery driver knocks on your door, first you must fight the urge to jump his bones simply because he has brought that Spicy Chicken that you so desperately need, but then you see his face and that perfect beard and something stirs in your loins.
Aidan: He’s the “goofy” guy that Molly is so in love with. He’s the rapper who wraps; he’s a regular Conrad’s worker by day and the man known by Bizzair at night. Yes, that’s his rap name. He’s into chicks over the age of 40; he’s a certified Milf Hunter. He’s so single and just so you know: he prefers shower sex over missionary. He likes to get personal even when you don’t want him to. But don’t be discouraged, Aidan is on the prowl for a real connection too with young women just like you!
“The one with the beard is sexy as hell. I would ride that beard all the way to Pleasure Town.” said Halie Woods, a MSU junior and sex aficionado. “There’s this goofy guy who brings my food sometimes. There’s just something about him that makes me want to do the no-pants dance with him,” Molly Burfield said, a MSU senior, fanning herself excessively. Here we have the four hottest hotties that work at Conrad’s: Drew: He possesses the beard to end all beards. It’s year-round, a gorgeous reddish-brown, and his main source of power. He has an impeccable physique from years of soccer playing and the cutest dog on earth named Juneau, which makes him the ultimate ladies’ man. And ladies, he’s single! “Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu,” says Drew. So even if you aren’t single, you can still admire this
PJ: Bitches love PJ. He kills it with kindness as one of the nicest bastards you’ll ever meet. He has arms that would put Hugh Jackman to shame and Superman once asked PJ for advice on how to stay buff. Sadly, he’s taken ladies — it’s enough the dash the hopes of supermodels, let alone you poor saps.
Andrew: He has the nicest ass in East Lansing and the assets that you’re lookin’ for. He’s a lifeguard on the side which means that he’s good at mouth-to-mouth, plus you can have a fun time going on a search for his tan lines when you get this heartthrob home. And you’ll have plenty of chances to take him home because “All-American Dream” Andrew is single! Remember: these are just the four hottest hotties! There are plenty more sexy men at Conrad’s; so come on in, order up a Buffalo Rider with ranch dressing (not bleu cheese, only whores get bleu cheese), and admire them all day long. They’re hot, they’re sweaty, and they wrap it every time. Ladies, they’re the ultimate catch.
Lauren Masek wrote this
THE BLACK SHEEP’S GUIDE TO
Burning Your Couch Baer Woods wrote this
This is going to be a special year for the Spartans on the field; it means that we’re going to be in some big games with the spotlight on East Lansing. So fans need to be prepared, because Spartans Stand Together. With that in mind, The Black Sheep proudly presents, How to Burn Your Couch 101. Phase 1 (The Pre-Game) Step 1: Pick out the couch. Don’t go for a leather couch, that shit’s expensive. Find a cloth one that you may or may not have yanked from the trash during Welcome Week. That one that you and your roommates have silently agreed to not sit on? You know which one we’re talking about. Step 2: Supplies. Pick up some lighter fluid and matches. Not a lighter, that’s just asking for a third-degree burn. The matches are key because you can just light one, light the pack, and then throw it on the couch.
06
Step 3: Find a place to burn the couch. Don’t burn it in front of your house or apartment building, that’s kind of obvious. Go like a block down; maybe even set it in front of the house of that neighbor you don’t like. We’re just throwing the idea out there.
need to know that you’re going to do this before the game ends. Any plan conceived afterwards will attract the attention of the horse cops. With 5 minutes left in the game you should have gathered all the supplies needed during a commercial.
Step 4: Assemble your team. Here’s who you’re going to need when going about this plan, two people to carry the couch, (three if you’re weak and don’t even lift, bro) one person to scout out the way and carry the matches and lighter fluid, and one way-too-drunk girlfriend who spends the entire time trying to convince you not to do it, because every group needs one of them.
Step 2: Hustle. Ok, so Connor Cook and company just took a knee and ran out the clock, you’ve prepared for this, you’re ready. Send the scout out to check the pony brigade, once you get the all clear, haul ass for the shitty neighbors’ lawn.
Now all you have to do is crack open some brews with your team and wait for whichever big win you want. Phase 2 (Game Time Baby) Step 1: Act quick. You and your team
Step 3: Overkill is underrated. Douse the living hell out of this couch, once you’ve reached this point you’re committed, the worst thing that could happen is that the couch doesn’t catch. Step 4: Light it up. Throw those matches, make sure they land on the couch, then get the hell out of there. Four people drunkenly carrying a couch outside is going to attract
“All you have to do it crack open some brews with your team and wait for whatever big win you want.” attention and you don’t want to be the only people standing there when the fuzz show up. Step 5: Come back. Once other people have come up to the couch and people are singing the fight song, it’s safe for you to return to the scene and
celebrate this victory just like Lou Anna K. intended. There’s your fool-proof guide to burning a couch. Keep in mind two more things as well, if you get busted, don’t go snitch on us. That’s something only Wolverines would do.
PAGE 7 • 9/11/2014 - 9/18/2014 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
Quarter
AROUND CAMPUS
Drinkingame
Spot the Sparty Freshman Danielle Jacosalem wrote this
Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and wearing the standard rhinestone jersey from Victoria’s Secret that everyone gets for graduation—freshmen are running rampant on campus. They show up every August with big dreams and money given to them by strangers at their graduation party, money to blow on booze. It’s a rough transition for first-year students, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it fun for everyone else. Therefore, we introduce you to our new favorite drinking game— “Spot the Sparty Freshman.” What You’ll Need: A group of friends willing to make fun of clueless freshmen, alcohol ad of your (preferably page = 5”choice w X 5.5” h something cheap to remind you of your youth), and a way to discreetly drink at any time of the day. Where to Play: You can play this game literally anywhere on campus where you’re feeling ballsy enough to drink. Freshmen are everywhere. If you’re
playing during the day, settle under a tree next to Wells and watch confused teenagers try to escape or argue with the Wells Preacher. At night, find a balcony in Cedar Village. A wise man once said, “Give them Cedar Village and they shall come.” Take a Drink When: -You see a freshman wearing something representing Michigan State—but glittery. Almost every girl on campus has the rhinestone lanyard that they picked up during Meijer Madness around their neck. -Take a shot if you see a kid growing his freshman year beard, better known as the biggest mistake of his youth. Freshman facial hair stands apart; it’s patchy yet enough to be mistaken for a Hitler ‘stache. -A girl is wearing heels to class. Also say a prayer that she starts loving herself enough to stop wearing uncomfortable shoes and take that drink.
Take a Shot When: -You hear someone bragging about a party. Wow, we never knew frats could be so fun. And we’re definitely enthused that the frat president added you on Facebook. You’re totally going to be his date to hayride; that’s a thing, right? Drank. -When you see a group of boys walking aimlessly down the street decked out in Spartan gear. They’re probably looking for a party they weren’t invited to. -When there’s a nervous crowd of girls forming a safety circle at a frat party. It’s like a middle school dance to them, but with drinks and more flesh. Finish Your Drink When: -You see a freshman carrying the popup map they got from MSUFCU on their first day. Hey frosh, get Spartan App in your life before you embarrass yourself or make someone playing this game hit the ground.
HARPER’S
HAMBURGER HEAVEN
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-You see a kid wheeling their curbstomped bike back to the dorms. Their $300 bike didn’t make it past the first month of college. Drink to its memory. -Someone brags about how many AP credits they got in high school and how they’re going to graduate early. You really want to leave this city a semester sooner? Whatever floats your boat, kid. Give a Drink to a Freshman When: -You ask someone to join your game and they turn out to be a freshman. Sometimes those kids can be fun.
-When you decide to take a freshman under your wing. Be their Mr. Miyagi, their Yoda, or at least someone who will give them a drink so they don’t overpay a sketchy dude. It’s like having a cat; selfsufficient, but sometimes you have to actually check up on it. The Game Ends When: The freshmen start figuring out their shit and live on their own. When that starts, just wait until the next semester. Kick back, throw your feet up, and drink to the memory of trying to figure out East Lansing.
The only relevant shirts for football season
FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY - RICH HOMIE D
comes with a FREE Koozie! - blacksheepswag.com
NEW THIS FALL! • Mac n’ Cheese Bites • Mozzarella Stix • Onion Rings
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$2 Off Pitchers Of Beer, $5 16oz Sicilian Long
ON THE ROCKS - GreyIslands, Goose, $6 dry Oasis Sangria Pitchers, $3 All MediterCollege night, MARTINI 18+. Discounted Vermouth, bitters, lemon peel 8 ranean Beer & Booze, $5 Off Bottles & $1 Off Cover w/ College ID. Free Shuttle Glasses All Our Mediterranean Wines, $2.49 from Campus, call (517)-351-5296 WHISKEY SOUR - Crown Royal, lemon juice, simple syrup 6
Falafel Sandwiches, $5.99 Mediterranean Pizzas
ROCK CITY - Vanilla vodka, spiced rum, Vernors
Electronic Dance Party, 18+ Nightly Drink Specials
MARTINIS
7
$2 Domestic Pints & Wells, $3 Premium/ Micro/Craft Pints, $3.50 Beef Schawarma Sandwiches, $5.50 Falafel Salads & $6 Chicken Schawarma Salads
GUMMY BEAR - Raspberry vodka, peach schnapps, splash of sour and sprite 7 DIRTY MARTINI - Grey goose, dry vermouth, olive juice in a chilled martini glass 8
Thursday 9/18
8pm-Close: $2.75 All Call Drinks, $2.75 Miller Lite, Coors Lite, and Rolling Rock Bottles, $2.75 Soco-Lime & Kamikaze Shots, $3.75 Long Islands
MILLER LITE - Miller Brewing Co.Light Lager | 4.17% ABV Wisconsin, United States $3
$3 Managers Choice Craft Beer Pints, $3 16oz Oasis Bloody Marys & Mimosas, $6 Oasis Margarita Pitchers, $3.50 Oasis Margarita Glasses, $2 Well Whiskey Drinks, $5 Off Kabob Combos For BLOODY MARY - Kettle one vodka, tomato Two &juice, $2 Off Veggie Sampler Appetizers
COCKTAILS Follow us on Twitter
Wed. 9/17
BURGER BASH (3PM – 8PM): $1.25 BURGERS, $1.25 WAFFLE FRIES, 1⁄2 off All Wells, Calls, Bottles, Drafts, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs
CURIOUS TRAVELER SHANDY - THE TRAVELLER BEER CO., 4.4% (Vermont) Sunday 1/2 Fruit Off Beer Day! 6pm -$510pm Closed,
Tuesday 9/16
$2.25 Well Drinks $2.75 Bud and Bud Light Bottles $3.25 Platinum Bottles $3.25 White Gummy Bear Shots
$5
Monday 9/15
$2.75 All Call Drinks $2.75 Miller Lite, Coors Lite, and Rolling Rock Bottles $2.75 Soco Lime & Kamikaze Shots $3.75 Long Islands
WASHINGTON APPLE - Crown Royal, Apple Schapps, Cranberry 5
Sunday 9/14
MNF! 1⁄2 off Pitchers $4.75 Domestic, $6.25 Premium $3.25 Blue Shots
$4
& $4 Bombs, $3 Captain & Bacardi Drinks, $2 Washington Apple Shots, Cheeseburger Combo/Falafurger Combo w/Pitcher $11 Dom/$13 Craft
8
HACKER-PSCHORR - HACKER-PSCHORR, 5.3% hefeweizen (Germany) $5 - Midnight Saturday Drink 50: 4pm
LAGUNITAS - American IPA | 6.20% ABV California, United States
Closed for Lion’s Football! Please call (517) 332-2959 to Schedule Your Bar Crawl
MACH 5 - Crown royal, Rumpleminze, Fireball, Bacardi $2 Domestic Pints
Night Happy Hour, 21+ only 151, Jagermeister (LIMIT 2) wells, $3 Domestic Drafts 10pm-close
Saturday 9/13
$3.75 Captain Morgans $3.75 All Flavored Vodkas $3.25 Wells & Domestic Bottles $3.25 Soco Lime and Kamikaze Shots
PATRON 7
Late ALL DAY IPA - FOUNDERS BREWING, 4.7% / Imperial IPA Show Time 7 to 11am: (Grand Rapids, MI) $4 $2
$5 Grey Goose Cocktails, $3 Cinge, $3 Fireball HUMA-LUPA-LICIOUS - SHORT'S BREWING, 6.9%
4
$2 Domestic Pints & Wells, $3 JOLLY Party, RANCHER - Amaretto, Melon Schapps, Sprite 4 Electronic Dance 18+ Premium/Micro/Craft Pints, $3.50 Beef Schawarma Sandwiches, $5.50 Falafel Nightly Drink Specials JAGER BOMB - Jagermeister, Red Bull 5 Salads, $6 Chicken Schawarma Salads $5
Friday 9/12
$3.25 All Draft Pints, $3.25 Jack Daniels $3.25 Wells & Domestic Bottles $3.25 Soco Lime and Kamikaze Shots
SHOTS
WEDNESDAY! APPLE - Crown Royal, Apple Schnapps, Butterscotch College night, CARAMEL 18+. Discounted Specials run Monday Sunday Off-Day! 6pm - 10pm SOFT 1/2 PARADE SHORT'S BREWING, 9.0% Fruit Beer Sunday All Day & Night! Cover w/ College ID. Free Shuttle Schnapps 4 (Bellair, MI) $5 from Campus, call (517)-351-5296 JOHNNY VEGAS -Tequila, Watermelon Schnapps, Red Bull, 5
Thursday 9/11
BURGER BASH (3PM – 8PM): $1.25 BURGERS, $1.25 WAFFLE FRIES, 1⁄2 off All Wells, Calls, Bottles, Drafts, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs
CRAFT DRAFT
SPECIAL NIGHT
THURSDAY! BURGER BASH (3PM – 8PM) $1.25 BURGERS, $1.25 WAFFLE FRIES 1⁄2 off All Wells, Calls, Bottles, Drafts, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs
The Bar Grid
PUB
PAGE 10 • 9/11/2014 - 9/18/2014 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
LOCAL HOTTIES
Drunken Senior Stops Somali Pirate Hijacking of Riverboat with Mad Beer Pong Skills Justin Sienkowski wrote this
A special press conference was held today to commemorate the heroic acts of one MSU senior who, in the face of adversity, used nothing but two balls and a magic stroke to save the day.
“I would just like to start off by thanking The Riverboat for their gratitude, and for giving me a story that would make any girl wetter than the Ice Bucket Challenge,” Pitts bragged humbly.
An accounting major by day, Seth Pitts has become a bar star of sorts in the Greater Lansing area after his role in preventing a hostile takeover of the popular floating nightclub The Riverboat. What could have turned into a disastrous run in with Somali pirates was mitigated by Pitts with his victory in a winner-take-boat match of beer pong.
“The incident occurred just after midnight, around 12:30 a.m., or maybe even a little later, but it was definitely after midnight” he explained. “I was out on the dance floor killin’ it when a couple of the pirates walked in brandishing some bad-ass gats and told us to hit the deck. They definitely killed my vibe.”
This morning, The Riverboat held a special tribute ceremony for Pitts in which they awarded him a voucher for free Long Islands for life and a pass allowing him access to the secret VIP room, called The Boiler Room. The man-of-the-hour had a chance to detail the exact events of that night, even if his memory of it was a little hazy, he conceded.
According to an official account, the pirates boarded the boat on the rear exterior, causing many local media members to don them the “Butt Pirates.” After successfully attaching and climbing a ladder to The Riverboat, they were greeted by a group of drunks who mistook them for international students and promptly bought them a round of shots.
A few minutes and a shot of Captain Morgan later, the pirates headed inside to execute their foul plan. With the crew and crowd held captive on the dance floor, the pirates demanded $10,000 cash and 25 orders of Goomba’s World Famous Pokee Stix from the East Lansing Police Department, or else they would take grave action in the form of the latest Skrillex mix played on repeat. “Once the Skrillex started, I just couldn’t take it. It made me think of all the shittiest things in life, and naturally my ISS class was one of them,” Pitts said. “I took it sophomore year, and I remembered my professor saying in some cultures it’s considered cowardly to not accept any sort of challenge. So I challenged them to a game of beer pong, I figured that’s a pretty universal game, right? This is thought to be the first known case of anyone ever using anything they ever learned in an ISS class.
The bet was: one-on-one, six cups only. If Seth won, the pirates would have to dock the ship, let all of the hostages go and run the naked mile down Grand River; if he lost, the pirates would kidnap everyone on board and Seth would have to walk the plank. After a nail-biting triumph for Pitts
that included bounces, swats and his patented “No-Fly Zone” distraction technique, the pirates surrendered and hung more than their heads in shame as they ran through downtown EL starknaked. The ELPD promptly arrested any intoxicated freshman exiting the boat. “It was the best night of my life,” Pitts oozed, while at ‘full mast.’
visit the whiskey barrel for your chance to see rising
country stars! UPCOMING CONCERTS - FRESH TALENT STRAIGHT FROM NASHVILLE!
9/13: LEE GANTT H 9/20: TY BATES (18+!)
FOR MORE INFO ON UPCOMING EVENTS, VISIT WHISKEYBARRELSALOON.NET
weekly specials
SEPTEMBER 20th 21+: $6 18-20: $8
WEDNESDAY: 18+ College Night, Free Shuttle, Discounted Cover w/ College ID H THURSDAY: Electronic Night, 18+ H FRIDAY: 21+ H SATURDAY: Country Ladies Night: $6 34oz Mixed Drinks for Ladies! Live Music!
410 S. CLIPPERT ST., LANSING • FREE SHUTTLE! CALL TO SCHEDULE (517) 351-5296 • LIKE US ON FACEBOOK & FOLLOW US ON TWITTER
BARTENDER of the WEEK Relationship Status: Taken Major: Nursing Favorite Drink: Captain and Coke Favorite Shot: Chocolate Covered Pretzel Disgusting Drink: Gin and Tonic What’s the best college drink?: Cheap Beer Give us a bit of Spartan–specific advice for freshmen: Don’t get caught drinking on Albert St., especially on St. Patrick’s Day. What is, like, so 2012?: Selfies
Who is your mortal enemy, and what malicious rumor would you like us to spread about them?: The girl that keeps Snapchatting my boyfriend. She thinks Detroit is the capitol of Michigan. If you were Spider President for a day, what kind of tarantulaws would you enact?: All spiders are required to attack the girl that keeps Snapchatting my boyfriend Why should people read The Black Sheep?: It’s highly informative with a twist of sarcasm.
BROOK of APPLEBEES THE DRINKING GAME WASTED WALLFLOWER It happens to the best, most popular of us (but mostly you): You end up at a party where you totes don’t know a single soul other than the person you showed up with. It’s ok, sweet, sweet beer is a social lubricant, so post up in a corner and give this game a whirl. You’ll be chatting up the populace in no time. What You’ll Need: A creepin’ corner and a bee-line to the nearest available strong drink. Number of Players: You’re riding solo on this one. Level of Intoxication: Your howling cackle from the corner will draw stares of ire. How to Play: Once you’ve posted up, drink when: - Someone looks like they’re coming to talk to you and oh god make it stop. - Awkward eye contact is established for nary a brief moment. - Another partygoer tries to get past you and you guys do the, “ok, I’ll go this way, no, you’re going that wa—nevermind, ok what way are you going?” thing. - Someone does an over-excited celebration during a more, say…social drinking game. - You witness an obvious flirt move like a hair-brush or an arm-touch. - The person you showed up with half-heartedly motions you to come over and join the gang. - A duo or group offers a celebratory cheers. You celebrate silently. - A group arrives to raucous applause because people actually know them. The Game Ends When: You’re rummed up enough to go have a chit-chat with someone you haven’t yet alienated with your creepshow antics.
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE APP FOR ALL THE GAMES!
RECIPE FOR DISASTER “YEAH, I WORKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL” PROTEIN SHAKE Everyone knows that the busiest time of year at the gym is right at the beginning of the semester. But after those first couple weeks, gym attendance drops so low that the only people there are the creepy, meathead basement dwellers. So in order to make your two weeks the most productive they can possibly be, you are going to need this kick-ass protein shake to really enhance your workout. What You’ll Need: A blender, a jar of protein powder, peanut butter, a pound of raw beef, yogurt, oatmeal, almonds, banana, kale, spinach, a carton of eggs, celery, the tears of the people whose asses you are soon to beat. Fatty Factor: Absolutely none. You’re working out so you’re being healthy, duh. Let’s Get Baked: -First, you have to be in your workout attire. Velour tracksuits and sweatbands are a must. -Dump the entire container of protein powder into the blender. That’s 65 servings of straightup protein and because you won’t be returning to the gym after next week, and you have to take as much as you can now. -Grind up the beef with your bare hands, and
mix it all in with the powder. DO NOT COOK THE BEEF, PANSY. -Measure out two cups of peanut butter and dump that in the blender. -Take your carton of eggs and drop all twelve of them into the blender – shell and all. Only pussies crack their eggs. -Dump the rest of your ingredients in, putting the overflow into a second blender if necessary. -Now, it’s time to get blending. Be sure to use the “crush” setting on your blender, and not some bitch setting like “puree” or “stir.” -Once your concoction is mixed, chug it all in one gulp. The sooner it gets in your system, the better. -Vomit profusely in the nearest toilet, sink, or garbage can. You just consumed raw beef and eggs, 65 times the amount of protein you were supposed to have, and a shit ton of other nasty ingredients. You will probably have E. coli or salmonella, and should seek immediate medical treatment. A shake like this is a sure way to guarantee you’ll never step foot in the gym again after those first two weeks. You can thank The Black Sheep for the perfect excuse to be a lazy, out-of-shape blob.
The Black Sheep Interviews:
Sarah Jaffe
Singer/songwriter Sarah Jaffe is preparing for her upcoming tour to promote her new album, Don’t Disconnect. Jaffe, although on the verge of being sick before her tour, was generous enough to talk to and answer questions for The Black Sheep.
Katelin Howell wrote this The Black Sheep: Who influenced you most in your music and forming your unique sound? Sarah Jaffe: I think it’s just a collection of a number of different artists. My parents in particular raised me and my sister on a lot of folk artists, and so that’s the way I started out. I started asking for musical instruments and my mom finally got me a guitar, and that’s the first instrument I started playing. I think I just kind of wanted to emulate those artists that my parents raised us on. I still listen to what we were raised on like James Taylor and Cat Stevens. But now I listen to everything. I still love the classics: Harry Nilsson will always be a favorite. But I also listen to a lot of Top 40 radio and, of course, Radiohead. TBS: Did you teach yourself the guitar? SJ: I did! Yeah! I had no concept of what chords were or anything; I just knew what sounded good together. So, in actuality, when I thought that I was inventing these sounds – like I remember playing a D in particular and I thought that I had invented this new and cool sound on my own. I just didn’t have a concept of what chords or notes were until not too much after. I was self-taught for the most part and I took a few lessons some years later but found out that I had already kind of scrambled and crawled my way to what I was taking lessons for. I already knew most of what was being taught. TBS: How did you go from writing songs for yourself to becoming a performer? SJ: I think it’s the same thing of no real concept in the beginning. There were no preconceived notions of what it all was. I knew from a really, really early age that I wanted to do something. I wanted to create. I was – for the most part – a really strange kid, still am (laughs). I was always making things, and when I got a guitar it just kind of translated well with me. I started writing music instantly, but I didn’t start writing music with the idea of like, “Okay I’m gonna do this.” It’s just when I turned 17, I just had this pretty large group of songs and I was like “I wanna sing them for other people besides my parents,” and my parents were cool enough to take me to this open mic night in Dallas where they had to chaperone me because I wasn’t old enough to get in (laughs). And I just fell in love with it. I liked the idea of writing and having this personal group of stories with you and sharing them with others and relating. So I think I didn’t really know I wanted to perform, I just knew I wanted to do something with music. TBS: You self-released your first EP in 2008, is that correct? SJ: Yes, it’s kind of correct. I was working with a cello player at the time and he kind of helped me find
someone to financially support it, so it was kind of like a self-release. TBS: How did that process work? SJ: Well that’s when I first met John Congleton. The cello player that I was playing with who was kind of managing me at the time, Chris Yeomans, introduced me to John and a booking agent pretty early on. John Congleton kind of took me on as, I don’t wanna say “as a favor,” but he was being nice. He didn’t know me, and Chris was kind of bridging the gap. So he wanted to introduce us and it worked out that John and I worked well together. And three years later I would be working on my first fulllength record with him. But John just kind of met me where I was at at the time musically. I didn’t really have a band, I didn’t know a lot and I had never been in a studio before to make a record. John just kind of took me under his wing. TBS: Before a show do you have a certain routine that you do before you perform? SJ: I wouldn’t call it a routine. Depending on the show and how much sleep I’ve gotten, there’s usually a certain amount of anxiety and anticipation that goes into each show, and I think a lot of the time I require just a little bit of alone time, just to be by myself for just a few minutes to where I can kind of get out of that mindset of just getting trapped in some sort of nervous – I don’t know what it is. But I tend not to breathe very often before a show (laughs), so I just try to breathe a little bit and just focus on that. But, there’s really no ritual. I like hanging out with my band and sometimes we’ll do a pre-show cheer and stuff like that, but nothing crazy by any means. TBS: Do you still get nervous when you perform? SJ: Every once in a while and it’s kind of unannounced. Sometimes it just shows up and sometimes I’m just surprisingly relaxed and I don’t know what brings that on. I’m sure it’s a number of things: a culmination of how much sleep like I said, if I’ve had anything to eat that day. It could be anything. And certainly, I hate to pin this on being a female, but sometimes being a female you’re quite moody. And especially on the road it can be different each night. I kind of swing back and forth, but I feel like each show I grow a little bit more and get a little bit more confident and definitely confident in the people that I play with. There’s no doubt about that. TBS: What’s the most challenging part about writing a song? SJ: Finishing it! I’ll get really, really stoked on a verse and a chorus and it’s kind of because I’m prematurely excited, I’ll shoot myself in the foot with that emotion and then I can’t get past the first chorus. So sometimes it takes me being in the studio to ap-
ply that much-needed pressure on finishing things. And it takes other people’s creative energy I think at this point, or at least with this record, it took kind of a spirited collaboration. TBS: You had a part on The Blue Umbrella, the Pixar short. How did you get involved in that? SJ: That all came about with the creator of the short, Saschka Unseld. I met Saschka almost five years ago now, randomly at a show in San Francisco. He came up to me after the show and I was selling merch and we just hit it off immediately. Granted, the merch table can be grounds for really weird conversations, but I just liked him immediately. There was something about him that was kind of enthralling to me. I remember after we were talking he handed me his card and I saw that it had Pixar on it and I was like, “Holy shit!” And like three years later my manager got this email and it was in regards to a short being made and interest being shown on my voice being used with Jon Brion. And I about cried I was so excited because Jon Brion’s a hero, and I found out that it was Saschka. Long story short, we went out to L.A., Saschka and I became dear friends, and we still hang out. When he flies down to Dallas he’ll stay with me. It was one of those things that couldn’t have been more serendipitous. He’s just an amazing person and still we collaborate to this day. But it all came about through him. TBS: When writing a song, do you write the lyrics or the music first? SJ: Usually it takes me being inspired by some sort of melody that I hear for a song to start. Granted, there have been a few occasions where I have just started writing lyrics or ideas and they kind of, over time, somehow make their way into a song. But usually it starts with something that I’ve been fidgeting with for a period of time and just have recorded, then I start to write a song. So I think it’s more so that it starts with something musical. Like whether it’s a keyboard line or something that I’ve layered with the guitar. But usually it has to be some sort of
melody that I start with. TBS: What advice would you give others, like aspiring performers, who might want to get where you are today? SJ: First and foremost you really have to love it. I mean it’s up and down. It’s not what it was even when I first started performing 10 years ago. As far as a business goes, it’s weird, and I still don’t understand it a lot of times. So I kind of try to keep my head out of that because I feel like if I think about the business aspect of it all, my brain will implode. I just love writing. I love playing with a band that I adore, personally and musically. I think you first have to love it because shit’s gonna hit the fan a lot and when it does, you have to see it through and it takes persistence. My goal, personally, is longevity and I’ll do whatever it takes to continue to be whatever I am. I don’t really see myself the way that others might. I work really, really hard and the team of people that I work with also works really, really hard. And there’s a lot of delusions about what it all is and what it means and I’m just a working-class musician. And I think if you love writing music, then do that! And work at it, practice at it. I think that’s just like anything else. You just have to want to do it and to try and get better. I think that’s really all you can do. TBS: So what’s next for you? SJ: Just supporting the new record, Don’t Disconnect. I’m going out with Astronautalis, a good friend of mine, starting next week. We start in Chicago and make our way up, and quite a bit of touring and coming back home and doing some more shows, but just supporting the new records. TBS: Well, thank you for taking the time to talk to me and I hope you feel better! SJ: It was a pleasure, I appreciate it! Check out Sarah Jaffe’s songs and tour dates on Twitter, Facebook, or her official site.
BROS, BROS, BROS
Albert Maclin wrote this
In order to secure the best lifestyle for its students, MSU makes cafeteria renovations a top priority. It makes a visible effort to accommodate all lifestyles, whether one prefers classic American cuisine, a traditional ethnic feast, or even a vegan tofu-topia. Recent restorations are a testament to just how much effort the university puts into their eateries, as Landon’s Dining Hall has evolved into a more modern-looking Hogwarts, and The Vista at Shaw is convenient and aesthetically pleasing despite its failed attempt at “home cooking.” While we’re obviously excited
The Eat at State Program is partnering with LiveOn MSU to pioneer the nation’s first on-campus strip club. The highly anticipated titty lounge is expected to exist on the ground floor of Yakeley Hall. “This seemed the ideal location,” explained an anonymous LiveOn employee. “Yakeley’s proximity to Grand River makes it easy to draw a crowd, and its all-female residency already attracts testosterone-charged college boys 24 hours a day. We’re just taking advantage of a system that’s basically already in place for us. Hell, the Yakeley dining hall even has a cheap buffet already! Once we get a stage and some poles, we’ll be hot and ready.”
“Hell, the Yakeley dining hall even has a cheap buffet already! Once we get a stage and some poles, we’ll be hot and ready.” for some promising pig-outs at a new Akers facility in December, LiveOn’s next project has us at The Black Sheep, for lack of a better word, titillated.
Pr o j e c t e d t o open its doors in Fall of 2016, the new Spartan strip club will open at 8 a.m. every day to cater to students who have science or math-related majors, and will remain open 24 hours during exam week. “Our goal is to implement a safe
environment for our students to relieve stress without them gaining 20 pounds from Union Late Night burritos,” another project representative explained. “This should even top the Wells Hall Cinema pornos that we used to run. It’s a real shame they were discontinued, but this is better because it’s a place that students can potentially find true love. We facilitate real intimate face-to-face communication that this generation is essentially deprived of thanks to media like Tinder and online pornography.” When asked about alcohol sales, our source gave a hopeful smile. “As a campus-run facility, serving alcohol is possible, but not likely. We do, however, have some tricks up our sleeve to compete with Déjà Vu down in Lansing. Our Shirley Temples are bonafide pantydroppers, and the Yakeley smoothie bar will be fully functional, as always.” Another unique feature of the Yakeley booby bar is its acceptance of Spartan Cash. With just a swipe of your Spartan ID, you can quickly and conveniently purchase your dance or tip a vixen of your choice. Your meal plan will also grant full
access to a delicious, non-sketchy buffet, which includes the famous smoothie bar. Suddenly, Yakeley’s ground floor is the perfect place for frat guys to show off their swag by wearing their sunglasses inside, for conservative college girls to go wild to Beyoncé’s “Partition,” and for tenured professors to sit in the corner and show just how creepy they can actually be.
There’s nothing quite like sitting in a dimly lit room with a couple of your friends and salivating over the real thing. There’s likely to be huge groups of freshmen tittering about at all times - but when it comes to the gazongas of the East Lansing community, it’s more than worth it.
HOW TO END UP EATING ALONE IN BRODY
A Simple Guide To Pissing Off All The Majors Victoria Martin wrote this
Do you find joy in other people’s anguish? Wasn’t it hilarious when that one guy in line at Conrad’s was SO mad because you didn’t know what Supply Chain Management was? Ever find yourself wanting to get slapped directly across the face? This is the article for you! Here are some wonderful suggestions on how to anger someone in almost every major. Have fun, kids! Major: Fishery and Wildlife Stereotypical Personality Type: One word: Neature Where They Can Be Found: Deep in the forest, collecting kindling and foraging for berries. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: “I read somewhere that you can use the leaves of poison oak as bear repellent. 60% of the time it works, every time.” Major: Packaging
Stereotypical Personality Type: Dave Where They Can Be Found: Staring blankly at the wall, trying to solve their impossibly absurd math problems. Confused screaming will be involved. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: *shove a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in their face* “Is this what you do?” Major: Philosophy Stereotypical Personality Type: Ian (He’s wearing Birkenstocks) Where They Can Be Found: Deeply scrutinizing the meaning of life whilst skipping stones across the Red Cedar. Alone. Probably high. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: “Okay, but consider this: Aliens.” Major: Sports Medicine Stereotypical Personality Type: Whey powder enthusiast
with an extreme Under Armour fetish who absolutely loves staring at himself in the mirror. Where They Can Be Found: Staring at all of the mediocre gym rats at IM West, judging, and shaking up that trusty blender ball for the third time today. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: At the gym, instead of spotting them, lean directly over them and talk about your day. Completely disregard their struggle after the 4th rep. Maybe even talk about that one time you almost slept with someone who actually wore Crocs. Can you say dealbreaker? Major: Engineering Stereotypical Personality Type: Clark Kent by day, also Clark Kent by night. Where They Can Be Found: Sobbing, using their tears as lube. How to Piss Them Off in 30
Seconds: “OREOS! How are they engineered? Does one plan on systematically constructing such a wonderful cookie? Was it an accident? I was, and look at me now!” Major: Pre-Med Stereotypical Personality Type: Similar to a healthy gremlin: Avoids sunlight, never gets wet, and doesn’t steal unfinished sandwiches in the middle of the night. Where They Can Be Found: Did you check the library? How long have they been AWOL? It’s okay, don’t call the police. They hella learnin. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: “Hey man, I have this really weird rash on my left butt cheek and Web MD said it’s either a pilonidal cyst or lung cancer so can you just double check for me real quick?” Major: Psychology
Stereotypical Personality Type: That douchenugget who thinks you’re clinically depressed because he took PSY 101. Where They Can Be Found: Having a deep conversation with Willy the Can Man about the psychological well-being of the Calc teacher who got naked in class a few years ago. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: “My pet gerbil, Daniel, hasn’t been his normal self lately. He never runs on his wheel anymore, barely eats, and the other night I could’ve sworn I heard some Radiohead
playing. I’m worried about him; do you think he’s depressed?” Major: Computer Science Stereotypical Personality Type: The guy in action movies who has 6 minutes to crack the code that will grant 100% access to all government files. Where They Can Be Found: I’ll give you a hint: Wi-Fi. How to Piss Them Off in 30 Seconds: “Yeah I mastered the art of coding back in 2007 when I would literally spend HOURS typing up the perfect HTML codes for my totally rad layout on Myspace.”
PAGE 7 • 9/11/2014 - 9/18/2014 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
Yakeley Dining Hall to Become First On-Campus Gentleman’s Club
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the FAKE FOOTBALL FAN madlib Hey, can you believe the footballing season is here? This year I hear the __1__ are going to definitely win the __2__Group. What with the __3__ and __4__ and whatnot! Heck, I even heard __5__decided to make __6__better by giving it new grass and everything. Boy, it’s really neat when the players get knocked over by other plays and then a player gets a grass stain on his uniform. His mom must get real mad. Moms still wash their sons’ uniforms, right? And the tailgating, oh the tailgating! My __7__ used to take me to one when I was young—I can’t wait to eat one __8__, maybe two! I mean, I might drink a __9__, but I don’t think __10__’ campus police would look very favorably on that, plus I want to remember when __11__gets the game-winning score on a __12__. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m actually secretly a __13__ fan. This whole football thing is just so primal, you know? My __14__ played football for a few years—he was a real good __15__, but you should see his __16__ these days, it’s a real disaster. Kind of turned me off to the sport. Hey do you know anything about __17__? Where ya going? I—I wanted to talk to you about how well __18__is going to do against the__19__ this year. I bet there’s all sorts of goals he’s going to get! Football season’s here, everyone!
CLUE BANK 1) Your school’s nickname 2) Your conference, minus “Conference” 3) Football action 4) Football action 5) Head coach 6) Stadium name 7) Family member 8) Tailgating food 9) Alcoholic drink 10) Your school 11) Quarterback’s name 12) Basketball play 13) Non-football sport 14) Relative 15) Football position 16) Body part 17) Arts and craft 18) Favorite player 19) Rival team
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