The Black Sheep FRE
E... L OVE IKE HO R T MEB HER OY E... ’S B N A H AC K , J/K PAC K .
Vol. 6, Issue 5
THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
2/20/14 - 2/26/14
HOW TO SLEEP ON CAMPUS
(WITHOUT GETTING ALL YOUR CRAP STOLEN) HEATHER BERGLUND WROTE THIS
Whether you’re a commuter to UMN’s campus or you’re just plain lazy, everyone has faced the desperate need to curl up on a questionably-stained couch that’s still warm from previous buttocks to sleep for a precious fifteen minutes. But not everyone is well-versed in the skill of assing out on campus without getting one’s shit stolen from underneath one’s snoring nose, so The Black Sheep is here to show you exactly how to do it. The first step is to find the best spot. Everyone seems to love dozing off in Coffman, even though the hustle and bustle doesn’t make for very good sleeping or safety. For the people who aren’t able to fall asleep to the melodic notes of the students taking Piano for Toddlers, playing their best rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face,” Coffman isn’t the best area for a snooze. In a real pinch, the basement in Coffman will do if you don’t mind the sound of bowling balls hitting gutters or the smell of cheap deep-fried mozzarella sticks. The best place is somewhere people don’t go, usually in basements or smaller buildings. The St. Paul Campus, although out of the way, is a good place to go if you’ve got time to spare -- and if you can stand the manure smell. All right, you’ve found the perfect spot (or at least one with the least mouth breathers around) and you’re ready to go to bed. Just curl up with your headphones in your ears and go to sleep! Right? Wrong! Here comes the trickiest part in Sleeping on Campus 101: putting all your shit
in a precarious position that will inhibit someone from stealing it. Some people prefer wrapping a hand around the backpack straps. Others place it under their rotten feet, ruining the peanut butter and jelly sandwich their mothers made two weeks ago with the smell. And some rebels even keep the backpack on their backs while they sleep upright, looking like a zombie with their priorities straight. But of all the ways you can store your backpack while you sleep, The Black Sheep advises that you use your backpack as the lumpiest fucking pillow you’ve ever had to sleep on. It’ll be worth it, because you’ll wake up feeling as refreshed as ever, and with all your stuff intact. Another mistake that sleeping no0bs make is wearing headphones. Yes, sometimes it’s easier to sleep because it drowns out the noises of mouth-breathers, other snoring college students, and the occasional laughter from the few happy people. Don’t they know you’re trying to sleep? Who do they think they are with their happiness and their smiling on a Tuesday morning? Wearing headphones can help drown these noises out, but it also makes things more dangerous. On the off chance that a fire starts, you won’t be able to tell with headphones in while you’re out cold. What if a tornado comes through and you’re still lying there sleeping like a useless… sleeping… thing? You think anyone’s going to wake up the sloppy college student splayed out on
the couch, snoring like a donkey? Nah, they’re going to run past you screaming and crying without a second thought. So take off the damn headphones. The last piece of advice The Black Sheep has for anyone wanting to fall asleep on campus is to make sure your alarm is set properly. How many times has your phone screwed you over by magically changing 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.? When you take a catnap on campus double-
check that alarm clock in order to make sure you get going to class on time. Putting it on vibrate also helps other people around you not want to murder you after hearing the shrill Ke$ha song you’ve had set as your alarm clock ringer for two years. These are the flawless pieces of advice The Black Sheep has for you in order to succeed sleeping on the University of Minnesota campus. Find a quiet, un-
common spot, put your belongings underneath your body so no one can steal them while you’re knocked out, keep your headphones out of your ears so you don’t get murdered by fire, and don’t forget your alarm. Before you know it, you’ll be a pro at sleeping and waking up the perfect five minutes after your next class starts, then deciding it’s not worth it and skipping it to go home and sleep more anyway.
PAGE 5
PAGE 5
PAGES 12-13
GUY ON INTRAMURAL TEAM CAN DUNK, BUT WON’T
THINGS YOU DIDN’T REALIZE ABOUT MINNY UNTIL YOU LEAVE
THE BLACK SHEEP INTERVIEWS: BIG GIGANTIC
MORE OF A CURSE THAN A BLESSING, A HARROWING TALE OF HUMILITY AND TRIUMPH.
CANADA AIN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL.
WE CHAT WITH JEREMY SALKEN OF THE FUNKY HIPHOP AND JAZZ DUO.
Keep Up With Us! @BlackSheep_UMN • theblacksheeponline.com
>>
Meet the Staff <<
CAMPUS MANAGER Alexandra Adams
CAMPUS DIRECTOR Brendan Bonham
ADVERTISING MANAGERS Ryan Betz
OWNER Atish Doshi
WRITERS Alexandra Adams, Megan Felz Heather Berglund, Cora Neisen, David Zirinsky, Mathew Kennedy
FOUNDERS Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather-Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Quinn Myers
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Mathew Kennedy PROMOTIONS MANAGER It could be you!
OWNED & OPERATED BY: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Avenue Suite 1, Chicago, Illinois 60622 Contact Corporate: 217.390-1747 For Advertising: 608.712.0900
DISCLAIMER: The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking.
QUESTIONS info@theblacksheeponline.com
This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication.
ADVERTISING? ads@theblacksheeponline.com
Please drink...responsibly and legally.
Follow us! @BLACKSHEEP_UMN • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM Brand New, Luxury, Furnished, 10-Unit Apt. Building! Brand New, Luxury, Furnished, 56-Unit Apartments! City Views, Fireplaces, Walk-in Closets, Flat Screen TV’s, Large Balconies, Furnished Open Layout Floor Plan, Stainless Steel Appliances, Granite Countertops, In-Unit Washer & Dryer, Underground Assigned Parking! www.ELYSIANAPTS.com • 711 4th St SE • 612-379-1050
1-10 BEDROOM HOUSES, DUPLEXES, APARTMENTS, ROOM’S FOR RENT
City Views, Walk-in Closets, Flat Screen TV’s, Furnished Open Floor Plan, Stainless Steel Appliances, Granite Countertops, In-Unit Washer & Dryer, Covered Assigned Parking! Dinkytown • 525 10th Ave SE • 612.843.4888
NOW LEASING FOR 2014! CALL TODAY FOR SPECIALS!
CPMCOS.COM • 612.843.4888 • UOFMPROPERTY.COM • U. OF MINNESOTA AREA
WORD, MAN
#GOODTIMES #THEBLACKSHEEP
ILLUSIONAL
GUESS THE MASCOT
@BLACKSHEEP_UMN
To be perceived oneself as sick as a means of justifiably avoiding class.
“Don’t be illusional Bethany,” Maria said, “you only had a coughing fit because it was your turn to hit the bowl.”
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW
YOUR MEMES?
DO YOU KNOW THE NAME OF THIS FAMOUS MEME? TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN. FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE!
TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN • FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE! LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: UT LONGHORN
STACHE SLUETH CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MYSTERIOUS MAN WITH THE SWEET ‘STACHE? TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE!
LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: JOHN WATERS
LAST WEEK’S: BUTTHURT DWELLER
READ MORE ONLINE THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
STUDENT ONLY 90% SURE
RECENT COLLEGE PRO INTERVIEW IS A SCAM DAVID ZIRINSKY WROTE THIS
After filling out an information card, undecided freshman Paul Hersh was given a call asking him if he wanted a job interview. “Not knowing who these people were, I agreed to sit down with them and do the interview,” Hersh later said. “They claimed I could make $10,000 over the course of the summer; that’s about how much internships at Apple corporate pay, so I knew this opportunity was as good as do-it-yourself home dentistry.” Hersh confided in friends that fifteen minutes into the College Pro Painters interview he was only 90% sure the job was a scam. “There were a lot of things about this job that struck me as being odd. For one, throughout the process no one ever asked me for a resume. Like, you know how at job fairs all the employers ask for them? I guess these guys know what they’re doing.” Hersh would later add that instead of sitting down in an office with an interviewer, he met a man at the Rec Center with three other students. “They sat us down with three people and asked trivial questions about our lives. What does my favorite lingerie football team have to do with my work history?” Hersh seemed concerned that the interviewer mostly talked about the job itself, as if he was trying to sell the job like a used car salesman sells lemons. “After reading the contract I saw there was a clause stating that I couldn’t say anything bad about this internship should I accept the job. That almost makes it seem like there will be reasons to criticize the program,” Hersh said. Later, he was only fairly sure the job was a scam, as no one makes offers that are too good to be true. Hersh added, “It’s like when a man always offers you candy to get into his van, he legitimately only wants your critique of his hood ornaments.” Some of Hersh’s friends privately suspected College Pro was little more than a multilevel marketing scheme. “You basically set up your own painting business, buying supplies, hiring a crew, getting clients, whatever. They then sell you the paint and hope you do well,” an anonymous source said. “But they take 20% of your profits, which is about as considerate as paying someone to work for them. This is better than an unpaid internship because you pay to work. ” Though some students were as skeptical of College Pro like they are of “mystery meat” dorm food found in Campbell, one business professor admired their work. “These guys are real pros,” said Robert Krugmen in an interview with The Black Sheep. “Instead of the classic Tupperware scam where you sell shit to your friends at a 200% mark-up, these guys have you labor to sell their shit and charge you the mark-up! Sadly, College Pro don’t ask you to put down 10 of your friend’s numbers like proper pyramid schemes do.” “Honestly, I’m jealous that Hersh interviewed with them,” said Mitchel Shartaig, an acquaintance of Hersh. “My ‘job’ with Vector Marketing was just selling fancy knives to my friends. I made $40 when I sold my mom a $350 dollar knife set. These jobs are a great educational opportunity for students. They teach you to read the fine print!”
LOOKING FOR AN INTERNSHIP? Marketing, Ad Sales, Writing, and more! Get experience doing something YOU LOVE!
04
APPLY ONLINE TODAY! theblacksheeponline.com
CURRENT EVENTS
THE
TOP
TEN
THINGS YOU DON’T REALIZE ABOUT MINNESOTA UNTIL YOU LEAVE MEGAN FELZ WROTE THIS
“The North Star State,” “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” “The Gopher State.” Whatever you call it, the fact remains that you are in Minnesota, and until you leave Minnesota, you will never learn how weird it actually is, just like how you realized running naked through the IKEA when you were five wasn’t nearly as normal as you thought at the time. It’s okay though, The Black Sheep is here to remove those Minnesota goggles that have been blinding you from reality, and show you just what it’s like from the outside looking in to the weird world that is Minnesota. 10.) Going to a school of 50,000 students is not the norm: With a ballpark population of 50,000 students, we could field 5,555 baseball teams. That’s a lot of baseball, and for a majority of the year, it’s too cold to even play. So, when you tell that random man who yells at small children on the sidewalk about pink highlighters just how large your school is, mentally prepare yourself for the astonishment and incoherent ramblings that inevitably will follow.
Guy on Intramural Team Can Dunk, But Won’t MATHEW KENNEDY WROTE THIS The spring intramural basketball season is well underway here at the University of Minnesota, and the competition is better than ever. Part of that has to do with 6’9 Grant Hall. Hall, a sophomore, is a special athlete, with one skill in particular that sets him apart. “Dude, he can, like, dunk,” said Hall’s teammate Kurt Jorgensen. There’s no need to re-read the last sentence. It’s true. Hall, who played high school basketball in Fargo, North Dakota, has been blessed with a special gift: he’s able to slam dunk a basketball. This ability promised to change co-ed intramural basketball forever, if not for the catch: Hall promised to never dunk during regulation. It is easy to see why it’s tempting for Hall to dunk. But, he continues to say that the reason he won’t is based off of many different things, such as the rules. “I went to the captain’s meeting at the Rec, and they had a slide on their slideshow that said “No dunking,” Hall said. “So, at that point, I think I kind of knew that it wasn’t the reason God put me on Earth. I guess that was when I decided it was something I didn’t want to do.” “It was a tough decision,” Hall said, “I sat down with my friends and family and we spent some time talking about it. We talked about every possible outcome, and at the end of the day, we decided it was best that I stick to laying it up instead.” The decision comes as a blessing to the other intramural teams across the University of Minnesota, but not for his own squad, the Timberwolfpack. Hall’s teammate Jorgensen confesses that he thinks it would benefit the
team if he dunked. “It would be so sick,” Jorgensen noted with a hint of longing. “We could, like, throw some sick [alley] oops to him, or he could, like, do a three-sixty dunk and posterize some people Blake Griffin-style. The amount of bitches that we could get to watch our games would be off the charts.” Hall admitted that he felt that the decision to stay on the ground was a bit selfish, but in the end, was better for everyone. “I want to pull hoes just as much as the next guy, I really do,” Hall admitted. “But, there are other ways to do that, like by making my free throws or stretching properly before the game. I’m confident my decision won’t affect the team too much.” The type of generosity and patriotism that Hall has shown throughout the process is what makes him a model Gopher. The decision has garnered a lot of attention. As his team now sits 2-0 in co-ed intramurals, the future seems bright for Hall. Nonetheless, he has yet to comment on his future. “I’m majoring in nursing,” Hall said, “But I’m open to offers. If some professional teams come calling, then yeah, I might answer.” Fans have been expressing interest in having Hall stay in Minnesota and play for the Timberwolves, but the Timberwolves have yet to show interest. However, the Minnesota Lynx have expressed interest in someone who can dunk, admitting a boy with a nursing major who could dunk would change the game forever. Reportedly, Hall will decline the Lynx’ offer, noting, “I can actually make some money being a nurse.”
9.) Most school mascots are pretty straightforward: What kind of school calls their mascot a Gopher, but anatomically makes it a chipmunk? Leave it to UMN to do just that. Even the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs know who they are. And the university doesn’t even offer compensation to pay for all the mental health fees that come with the brief identity crisis you’ll inevitably have upon this revelation. 8.) People from Canada are pretty cool: Though we are separated by a border (which, according to an anonymous source, is severely lacking in barbed wire), our northern comrades up in good ole’ Canada are a pretty bitchin’ group of people. They have a weird way of saying “about” and totally dig hockey. Who else could you possibly want to share a geographic boundary with? 7.) “The U of M” is not a universal term for UMN: If you refer to “The U of M” anywhere outside of Minnesota, people will assume that you’re talking about Michigan or Massachusetts, or basically any other school that starts with an “M.” We really need to get better at football, or calligraphy, or something. 6.) Biking is a bitch anywhere else: Minneapolis, being the bike-friendly city that it is, is incredibly accommodating to that two-wheeled death trap that nearly nailed you (not in a good way) while you were moseying on down University Avenue, ironically on your way to History of Transportation and Asshole Bikers 1001. Cherish the abundance of bike lanes. 5.) Tunnels aren’t a normal thing to have on a college campus: Minnesota knows wassup when it comes to the elements. At this point, snotcicles become the least of your worries, and the tunnels become your best friends. Oddly enough, this isn’t a normal architectural phenomenon in other states, so enjoy them. 4.) No body else knows what “Uffda” means: “What?! What is this random compilation of syllables intermingling with an awkward sigh?” said every person not of Minnesota origin hearing such an incoherent wave of sound. It’s also a word that has to be experienced, and can’t be explained; so you either have to put on an awkward demonstration or consult good ole’ YouTube. 3.) You don’t have to be cold all the time: There are places, on this planet, where it’s actually possible to walk outside and not be caught in a climate chillier than tensions between the Soviets and the US mid-1900s [*cue audience gasp*]. We know, we know, it’s hard to believe, it’s ok if you need to take a minute and reevaluate your life. 2.) Sales tax is real: The Mall of America has lured you into a false sense of security where a Beastie Boys t-shirt running $20 actually costs $20. Nutso! But, go basically anywhere else and you’ll quickly realize the solid that MOA was doing for you and you’ll know where to delegate your tax refund this year. 1.) If you refer to a “Juicy Lucy” people will think you’re talking about a stripper: In all fairness, it’s a pretty good stripper name, but it’s nowhere near as good as the classic cheese-filled burger. Unfortunately, a solid portion of the United States and beyond have never had such a culinary wonder grace their taste buds. But, having a stripper get glitter in your ears (and other crevices) while performing a questionable lap dance is a much more universal experience that people will identify with when they hear these two words. Editor’s Note: This semester Megan Felz is on a beer-drinking assignment in Dublin, Ireland.
05
AROUND CAMPUS SEND US YOUR PARTY PICS TO PICS@THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
ON THE STREETS What did you find out last time you Googled yourself? Andre, Freshman
“I found out that I’m a businessman in France.”
Joelle, Freshman
“There is apparently a three-second YouTube video of me riding a horse on a beach.”
Laura, Freshman
“There is a picture of Will Smith saying ‘swerve’ tagged with me.”
READ MORE ONLINE THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
Roommates Still Won’t Tell Friend How He
Pooped His Pants Three Years Ago “A daytime keg race seemed like a good idea,” graduating senior Tyler Warshaw whispered through a thousand-yard stare, “it was a warm spring day, birds woke me up that morning. Isn’t it funny how you remember the small things?”
“It was super-gross,” Bryce notes, “[roommate] Dan and I made him sleep in the shower. We set our alarm clocks so we could get up in the middle of the night to turn the shower on just to mess with him. Drunk idiot.”
“What you left in those drawers of yours was no small thing,” friend, former roommate, and tormentor Bryce Montaw heckles, elbowing Warshaw in his ribs.
“Listen, I’m just looking for answers,”Tyler pleads with Bryce, “like, did I poop my pants at the party and then leave, or was it on my way home or what? It’s killing me, man.”
It’s been almost three years since Warshaw arrived home at his apartment reeking of raw sewage fermented in beer farts. To this day, neither of his roommates accompanying Tyler to the party will tell him about the incident.
“I dunno,” Montaw wryly responds. “I KNOW YOU KNOW!” Tyler cries out through tears. “You guys are such assholes,” Tyler moans, “I had to stop hanging out with that whole group because I don’t know if they know I pooped my pants. I was pretty close with those guys! I went on spring break with them that year!” Montaw cracks a smile,“Speaking of assholes, remember that time your asshole had a bunch of poopcome out of it and then it went into your pants like you’re a fuckin’ 4-year-old or something?” Brendan wrote this
FEMINIST LEARNS TO TAKE A JOKE After several painstaking weeks of passive-aggressive and backhanded comments between the men and women of the Intro to Gender, Women and Sexuality Studies lecture, the tension finally broke when a feminist laughed at a sexist joke. At approximately 2:34 p.m., avid women’s activist and feminazi Jackie Goldman was sent into a giggle fit after pledge bitch Rob Ignolia muttered a simple chauvinistic comment. “She was going on about how fraternities are ‘incubators of the perpetuating gender roles’ and that our university promoted misogyny through a strong, male-centric Greek life,” commented Ignolia, “She was pissing me off so all I said was, ‘Who let her out of the kitchen?’” Sources report that Goldman stared at Ignolia for a few moments before she burst into tears from laugher. In a mixture of shock from the men and disgust from the women, the entire class could only watch as her laughs shook the very foundation of feminism.
According to the Feminist Manifesto, acknowledgement of a kitchen joke by a woman r e g r e s s e s t h e w o m e n’s movement by at least fifty years. Dire consequences such as these provide a comprehensive explanation as to why many feminists have a perpetual stick up their ass. When asked to comment on her episode, Goldman stated, “After years of ignoring bigoted comments and enduring antifeminism jokes, I couldn’t take it anymore. All I’ve ever wanted
was to be treated as an equal. I guess that means learning to laugh with the boys.” After the incident, GWS professor Dr. Sarah Alback immediately dismissed the class and promptly failed Goldman for breaking the GWS Code of Conduct. Unfazed by the ordeal, Goldman reportedly returned to her dorm room to replace her shrine of Hillary Clinton with Twilight books and a vinyl copy of the single “Blurred Lines.” Sammie Sea wrote this
ONE M FREE ONTH RENT !
Live on the Right Side of the Tracks.
Call 612.379.6082 to schedule an appointment or visit TheRailApts.com
Featured Amenities: Large Bedrooms Big Units A Bathroom for Every Bedroom Workout Facility Club Room
now leasing for fall 2014!
He knows the cheapest drinks in town and more drinking games than you could ever play.
Our Mobile App Is Your New Best Friend
e and Android - Search Black Sheep Mobile • Download for FREE today! Avai
for iPhon ailable for iPhone and Android • Download for FREE today! Available
The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT
THROUGH FEBRUARY! $19 Fishbowls $3 Fireball Shots
SATURDAY: 9pm - Close: $3 Domestic Bottles 9pm - Midnight: $3 You-Call-It Shots $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
Sunday Funday! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 4pm - Close
Thursday 2/20
COLLEGE THURSDAYS 8pm - Close: All you care to drink! $6 Bottomless Domestic Beer, $10 Bottomless Rails and Domestic Beers $1 Orange bombs, $3 Jack and Soco
9pm - Close: $3 Coors Light, $3 Long Islands, $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
Karaoke Thursdays! $2 You Call It Drinks and $3 Shots from 10-close.
Friday 2/21
8pm - Close: $4 3 Olives vodka $5 3 Olives Flavored long islands $2 Mini Bombs (jager, cherry, orange)
8pm - Close: $3 Mich. Golden Light Pints $3 Rails, Live Music 10pm - Close $3 Grape Apes, $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
$2 Rails & Tier 1 Pints: 9pm - 11pm $3 Rails & Tier 1 Pints, $4 Tier 2 Pints: 11pm - Close
Saturday 2/22
8pm - Close: $4 Bacardi Drinks $2 Mini Bombs (jager, cherry, orange)
9pm - Close: $3 Domestic Bottles 9pm - Midnight: $3 You-Call-It Shots $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
$2 Rails & Tier 1 Pints: 9pm - 11pm $3 Rails & Tier 1 Pints, $4 Tier 2 Pints: 11pm - Close
10am - 2pm: $5 Stack of Pancakes, $4 Bloody Mary’s Screwdrivers 6pm - 11pm: All burgers $6.99 8 - 11pm: Buy any app or dessert get a free pitcher of domestic or lite beer 8-close: $3 Domestic Bottles and $2.50 Rail Drinks
Sunday Funday! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 4pm - Close
8pm - Close: $3 Coors Mugs $5 Jameson Gingers All Day Pizza for Pennies! Buy any large pizza and get the 2nd pizza for $0.99
Flippin' Drinks! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 9pm - Close
Tuesday 2/25
8pm-close: $3 U Call Its Rails, Calls,and Every Beer on Tap (items subject to tax)
8pm - Midnight: Shamrock Burgers 8pm - close: $5 Domestic Lite Pitchers, $5 Margaritas, $3 Tequila Shots
Birthday Karaoke Night! Bring in 5 Friends 21+ & The Birthday Person Drinks for Free! (excludes shots & top shelf) $3 Tier 1 Mugs, $4 Tier 2 Mugs $3 Long Island Pints
Wednesday 2/26
8pm - Close: $0.25 Wings w/ College or Military ID $0.50 wings w/ out ID or Wristband $8 AYCD: Rails, Miller Lite Tap, Bacardi Oakheart $1.50 High life tall boys
8pm - close: $5 for one pound of boneless wings, $2 for 1’s
Wings N Things $0.39 Wings: 4pm - 10pm 2-4-1 Drinks (9-Close)
Sunday 2/23 Monday 2/24
Closed on Sundays
THROUGH FEBRUARY! $19 Fishbowls $3 Fireball Shots Mason Jar Monday 8pm-close:
$3 Double Jack, Soco, or Rails, and Bud and Bud Light Taps $5.00 Bud and Bud Light Pitchers $10.00 Bud and Bud Light Towers
Call 612.379.6082 to schedule an appointment or visit TheRailApts.com
The Bar Grid EVERYDAY: Happy Hour 3-6PM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
WEDNESDAY: Amateur Night: Watch your sexy coeds on stage for the first time compete for $200! Contest Starts at 11:30pm Open to all Ladies
18+ $2 Tuesdays (domestic beer, well drinks) from 8am to close $2 drink specials cover after 9pm Drag Queen Bingo: 8pm - 10pm Diamond Diva Drag Show: 10pm - 2am
WED: No Cover! Kill The Keg: $5 Bottomless Miller High Life Taps $3 Miller Lite Bottles, $3 Vodka, $3 Captain $5 Pizzas 8pm-Midnight
SPECIAL NIGHT
1/2 Price Bottles of Wine Starting at 5pm Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Military ID Night: Show your military ID for free cover
Come in for Dinner! 18+ All Rail & Domestic Beer $1 Happy Hour: 8am - 2am Drag Show: 10pm - 1am
No Cover! $3 Cruzan Run $3 Budweiser Products, $3 Cruzan Rum and Svedka $6 Dozen Wings (7pm-Midnight)
Thursday 2/20
Free Huge Hotdog Buffet Midnight to Close
Twin Cities Hottest Male and Female Go Go Dancers! Happy Hour: 8am - 2am La Femme: 8pm - 1am Dance Annex: 9pm - 2am
$3 Wells & Domestic Bottles (7pm-10pm)
Friday 2/21
Free Huge Hotdog Buffet Midnight to Close
Come in for Dinner! All Six Bars are Open!
$3 Wells & Domestic Bottles (7pm-10pm)
Saturday 2/22
No Cover! Inventory Reduction Sunday (IRS) $3 Specials that change every Sunday from 7pm-Close $4 Miller Lite Tall Boys during every Minnesota Pro Baseball game
Sunday 2/23
NO COVER! 2-4-1 Drinks (rail & domestic beer) from 9pm to 1am Happy Hour: 8am - 2am Karaoke: 10pm - 2am
NO COVER! Happy Hour Drinks: 3:30pm-Close $3 Domestic Bottles, $3 Rail Drinks, $4 Specialty Bottles, $4 Call Drinks, $5 Top Shelf Drinks $0.35 Wings 8pm-11pm (Dine in only)
Monday 2/24
18+ $2 Tuesdays (domestic beer, well drinks) from 8am to close $2 drink specials cover after 9pm Drag Queen Bingo: 8pm - 10pm Diamond Diva Drag Show: 10pm - 2am
No Cover! Karaoke: 9pm-Close, Beer Pong $3 Budweiser Products and Well Drinks $3 Heineken, Heineken Light, Amstel Light & Dos Equis Bottles 7pm-midnight $5 Mini Burger Platter (7pm-11pm)
Tuesday 2/25
18+ (21+ no cover, 18-20 $5 cover) $3 Domestic Beers and Rail Drinks, $3.75 Heineken Amateur Drag Show and Trans Exotica Come in for Dinner!
No Cover! Kill The Keg: $5 Bottomless Miller High Life Taps $3 Miller Lite Bottles, $3 Vodka, $3 Captain $5 Pizzas 8pm-Midnight
Wednesday 2/26
Happy Hour 3-6PM $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps $10 Bottomless Bloody Marys & Screwdrivers 10am-Midnight Happy Hour 3-6PM $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps $10 Bottomless Bloody Marys & Screwdrivers 10am-Midnight Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-1AM $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Service Industry Night! Come in for Dinner! 18+ All Day! Show pay-stub from your bar or Come experience the 90s in itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s full glory with 6 bars and 3 live DJs club and get free cover!
$2 Sloppy Jacks All Day
College ID Night! Free cover with any College ID - old or new! Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-12AM: Free buffet starts at halftime of $2 Select Beers & Drinks Monday Night Football! 1/2 Price Select Apps Taco Tuesdays 5pm-10pm Root City Trio at 9:30pm Happy Hour 3-6PM, 10PM-12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Ladies Night! Free cover for all ladies Men: Wear any Deja vu or Hustler apparel and get in free!
Amateur Night: Watch your sexy $2 Half Pound Burgers 5-10pm coeds on stage for the first time Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-12AM: compete for $200! $2 Select Beers & Drinks Contest Starts at 11:30pm 1/2 Price Select Apps Open to all Ladies
the wordsearch
pop stars
Miley Cyrus Lorde Ariana Grande Rihanna Beyonce Rebecca Black Selena Gomez Justin Bieber Lady GaGa Katy Perry Bruno Mars NIcki Minaj Justin Timberlake Pitbull Kelly Clarkson Taylor Swift Pink Demi Lovato Britney Spears Robin Thicke
ARE YOU READY
FOR ST.PATTY’S?
FRONT
BACK
ORDER BY FEBRUARY 28th • BLACKSHEEPSWAG.COM
Are You SMARTER
THAN?
1) World records: Three of the world’s four largest casinos are located in this Chinese gambling hotspot. 2) Music: Recently Drake tweeted “Carter V,” hinting that what artist will soon release the fifth volume in this music anthology. 3) Outer space: The Rosetta Spacecraft is set to land on what in November? 4) Car brands: Chevy, Cadillac and Buick are all sub-brands for this multinational car corporation. 5) Animals: What the more common name for an animal known as a “mudbug”?
LIBBY, UMN STUDENT
DRINKING GAME Bar Hop Hide-n-Seek
6) Political Geography: What country currently breaks down their territory into oblasts, krais, okrugs and republics? 7) Religion: In Judaism and Christianity, what is housed in the Ark of the Covenant? 8) Sports: What iconic baseball player recently announced he’ll retire after the 2014 season? 9) Sayings: What saying, translated to Latin, means, “seize the day”? 10) The human body: In what part of the body is the uvula found?
Libby’s Answers
Correct Answers
1) Do I look like a gamble? 2) Lil’ Wayne 3) A comet4) GM 5) Clam 6) Russia 7) 10 Commandments 8) Haha...... 9) Who even comes up with these questions? 10) Throat
1) Macau, China) 2) Lil’ Wayne 3) A Comet 4) General Moters 5) Crawfish or Crawdad 6) Russia 7) The Ten Commandments 8) Derek Jeter 9) “Carpe diem” 10) Mouth or throat
Libby’s Score: 6 out of 10
RECIPE for DISASTER Stupid Salad
Yeah, drinking in a bar can be fun, but doesn’t it get a little boring after a while? That’s why you need to bar hop across campus. And not only that, but bar hop in style as well. Here’s a game that will keep you interested… and drunk!
You need some brain power before your big exam? You don’t know what kind of food will give you more of that power? Neither do we! We’re not scientists. Going green is probably your safest bet, so get off the couch and light up the grill! You’ve got a stupid salad to make, stupid.
What You’ll Need: A group of friends, $10-15 per person and enough energy to bar hop for a few hours. Number of Players: Preferably at least seven people – one person to hide and six others to split into groups of two or three. Level of Intoxication: Depends on how good of a guesser you are!
What You’ll Need: One package of lettuce (it will look just like a bag of green leaves), one handful of croutons, ¼ pound of grilled chicken (don’t grab a real chicken, they will bite) and a bottle of thousand island dressing. Make sure you only buy one, not a thousand. Stupid. Cook Time: You’ve got nothing but time. Fatty Factor: Lettuce has negative calories.
How to Play: - Meet your friends at your favorite bar on campus. Find a place to sit and order a drink. - Have everyone take out $10-15 and throw it in the middle of the table. - Chug your drinks. First one to finish grabs the money in the pot and heads out to a different bar. - The losers must stay behind and order at least one more drink. - The person with the money hides at another bar on campus, drinking with the money given to him or her. Don’t be a dick, though. Don’t buy rounds for the whole bar. - After waiting 20 minutes and finishing their drinks, the losers must split up into two teams to go out to find the hidden friend. - Every time a team enters a bar to find the person with the pot money, they must order at least one drink while searching there. -The teams continue to search for the missing friend, going from bar to bar on campus. - The person with the pot money is not allowed to leave their bar once they have gone inside.
Let’s Get Baked: - Put the lettuce in the bowl. What are you, stupid? - Warm up a skillet to, like, 7 or 8 or medium-high on your stove or whatever. - Put the slab of chicken on the grill and cook until there’s no more pink on the meat or else you’ll get salmonella (salmonella = puke-ma-nella). - OH MY GOD LOOK OUT FOR THE KNIFE! - Safely use your knife to cut up your grilled chicken and mix it in the bowl with your lettuce and croutons - Pour some thousand island dressing on it, and you’ve got yourself a stew! (You’ll actually have a salad. Stupid.)
The Game Ends When: A team finds the hidden friend and continues to drink away the remaining money in the pot with him or her.
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE APP FOR ALL THE GAMES!
A normal salad might not be filling on its own, but with the added ingredient of grilled chicken, you should find yourself well on your way to a stuffed evening. If this doesn’t help you pass your test, then we don’t know what will! Maybe studying or going to class might help ... stupid.
NOMNOMNOMNOM THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
s w e i v r e t n I p e e h S k c a l B e h T
n o s p m o h T y e n r a B : By
The Black Sheep: Early on when you guys were still trying to get your name out there, were promoters apprehensive to book a hip-hop/jazz live electronic act? Jeremy Salken: It was definitely a challenge in the beginning. Both of us had been in groups before so we had a lot of experience looking for promoters, digging through JamBase, looking for venues, and trying to find contacts. We were super lucky that early on we kind of both said to each other that we want to do this right. We didn’t want to pick just any show, we wanted to make sure we’re making the most of any gig we do and that we’re getting in front of the audience that we needed. Kind of along with that, we were lucky to team up with Sound Tribe in the beginning of our career and that got us in front of a crowd that had similar music taste, so we weren’t just in front of random people staring at us like, “What the hell are you doing?” TBS: How has the demographic of your crowds changed since Big Gigantic started touring? JS: Oh man, it’s interesting; it actually got a lot younger. In the beginning the focus was on a lot of over-21 shows. All our shows went from twelve to two or one to three in the morning, we’d play these super late shows. That was the thing, especially opening for Sound Tribe and then doing late nights for them, we’d be playing to these older kids. Then we noticed as EDM got a lot more popular that the age dropped and all the sudden there were freshmen and sophomores in college coming out, then there were high schoolers. As it got younger we started playing earlier to accommodate doing 18+ shows. So, there were things like that, that were sort of techniques we were using to get everyone we could involved, because ultimately we just want to play for everybody that we possibly can. There’s no reason to cut anybody out. It’s been cool to see the younger fanbase come into the genre, ‘cause they’re all really positive. Our shows are some of the first concerts they’ve ever been to, and I think you get a different bond with the band because of that. It’s nothing but love and you guys just wanna have a good time. TBS: Totally. How have you guys evolved your writing process and kept your sound fresh over the years? JS: Dom handles the writing, and while it’s evolved a little bit, it’s always pretty much been the same. He’s really into checking out as many different styles of music as possible, and that’s what we both did on our instruments growing up. We would want to learn a style, or if you were in a group you’d try to play that and mimic it. He’s taken that concept into producing and he’ll hear a tone that Skrillex or Bassnectar or Dylan does, you know anybody really. He’ll be like, “Okay cool. I want to see if I can take that and put my own spin on it and make it my own.” The way he writes, because he’s so knowledgeable with music since he went to school for that is probably a little different than most producers. He has a really heavy knowledge of chords, structure, modes and all those things that evoke different emotions which really helps him write more intricate, emotional songs. Not that one approach is better than the other; we’re just trying to do something new with it. TBS: That’s really the whole point of it, right? Creating something unique to you. JS: Yeah, exactly. The songs evolve and that’s got us psyched about the new album. It’s another evolution of Big G.
TBS: Talking about the next evolution, for your new album The Night is Young did you guys go in with a theme or concept behind it? JS: Not really. It started pretty organically with Dom trying to make these tracks about what he’s feeling at that time, trying to stay true to the Big G sound but also push it forward at the same time. I mean, we’ve been working on it for the last year and a half. He’s really been working on these tracks, we’ve been playing them live for a little bit and tweaking them based on crowd reactions. We’re constantly in the process of evolving the tune and finally we reached a spot where we’re like, “this is good, let’s put it out.” TBS: Big Gigantic’s been around for a while now, it’s essentially a staple in the live electronic scene. How did it feel when you realized that this was something you were going to be able to do as a career? JS: It’s still crazy to me that we’re able to do what we do. When we first went into it, we had both been in bands before and had done pretty much every kind of gig you could do from weddings to jazz clubs, I’ve even played a gig at Target before. When I was doing that I’d make $50 here and there, if I made $100 I was psyched. My reality then was that if I wanted to play music I was going to have to find a job to supplement my income. We were really fortunate that with Big G after about a two year span we realized that this is not only a full time job but a realistic way to support ourselves. Obviously, you have to keep touring to do that. TBS: That’s something I’ve noticed. You guys do some serious touring. On your current tour you’ve got maybe four days off throughout the whole thing.
JS: Yeah, it’s kind of crazy. We’re literally doing like 20-something shows in 25 days, but it’s gonna be really fun. We’re hitting some really good markets, everybody’s psyched and the dates are selling really well. We’re only going for about three and a half weeks so we wanted to make it as action packed as we could and little digs just kept popping up, we have a run of like nine shows back to back. It’s gonna be a good one for sure. TBS: How planned out are your sets since you have the live instruments, sax and drums, to work with? JS: There’s sort of a general outline of that Dom has in his Ableton set, but the way he has Ableton set up he can bounce around between pretty much all of our tracks. So, there isn’t really setlist that a band might have, but there’s an outline that he can adjust depending on what the crowd is into. TBS: On the album’s title track, you guys collaborated with Cherub. How’d that come about? JS: Well those guys have been homies for a while and Dom has worked on tracks of theirs before and we’ve always talked about doing a track with them. This new album just seemed like a perfect time to do something, so we hit those guys up and were really lucky to get them on. I think that track is something people are gonna love. It’s something a little different, we never really do stuff with vocals. TBS: Any news acts coming up that you’re really excited about? JS: Man, there’s so much stuff out there. Cashmere Cat is super dope. Really into Flume, he’s great and definitely pushing boundaries. The guys opening up for us on the tour, Manic Focus and Gladiator, they’re doing some really cool shit. There’s just a lot of good music out there right now.
THIS IS (YO MOMMA) JEOPARDY! Welcome to Jeopardy!, I’m your host, Alex Trebek. Today’s game features a special theme: Yo momma jokes. Can you identify the four categories of yo momma jokes portrayed here? Email us at Jeopardy@theblacksheeponline.com with the four correct categories and you’ll win a prize!
six degrees of separation
do you know how chevy chase and quentin tarantino are connected? send your answers to sixdegrees@theblacksheeponline.com and if you’re right, you’ll win a sweet prize!
THE
700
O N WA S H I N G TO N Leasing Office Location: 720 Washington Ave SE, Minneapolis, MN Like us on Facebook for Leasing Specials! (866) 629-8022 • 700washington.com • #700onWashington
NOW LEASING
SEPTEMBER 2014
Welcoming Back Sally’s on the 1st Floor!
TCF Stadium and Campus Views! Watch the Gophers and MN Vikings play out of your living room, floor-to-ceiling windows!
A P P LY T O D AY F O R FA L L 2 0 1 4
EAST & WEST BANK STUDENT HOUSING S AV E U P TO $ 2 0 0 W I T H R E D U C E D F E E S walk to class • furnished apartments available • private bedrooms & bathrooms available 24-hour fitness centers • computer centers • free tanning • game rooms with billiards bike storage • garage parking available • individual leases • roommate matching available
UNIVERSITY COMMONS
GRANDMARC SEVEN CORNERS
GOPHERSTUDENTHOUSING.COM Fees & amenities are subject to change. See office for details.