The Black Sheep
EAR FREE NED ... L FOR IKE T ACT HAT ING SC A L I K R YO E YO U UC ARE D.
Vol.6, Issue 4
THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
2/27/14 - 3/20/14
SUNDAY BAR SCENE IS STRAIGHT BANGIN’ BARNEY THOMPSON WROTE THIS
Oxford, MS -- With the recent change allowing bars to serve alcohol on Sunday came a crowd truly committed to the party. What’s traditionally been known as the day of rest has transformed into the most turnt day of the week. Popularity spawned from a strong Instagram presence in the form of culture-defining hashtags such as #TwerkinForTheBigMan and #ShitfacedSunday. The passion with which these people throw down has been best described as an alcohol-fueled orgy riot. “It’s totally an alcohol-fueled orgy riot,” said Ole Miss sophomore Kareem Pennyworth with a cautionary tone. You wouldn’t expect Sunday to draw such a big crowd, but freshman economics major Kris McTopher explained the developing trend to us. “The cold beer and Sunday sales were cool, but you can’t show off to everyone how much you’re spending,” explained McTopher. “At the bars everyone sees you droppin’ bank. If people can’t see you raining stacks, then what’s the point?” Exhausted by the massive knowledge dump he just squatted out, McTopher refilled his recently-emptied flask of Fireball and stumbled away to spread more knowledge to the college masses. Not everyone is welcoming this change with open arms though, especially not the ones responsible for cleaning up Monday morning.
“They’re monsters, disgusting monsters” said Lauren Tyrdly. “Bodily fluids are literally everywhere. We can’t even regrout since we’re a historical landmark or some nonsense, despite the massive amounts of sweat, semen and vomit stains.” What’s truly impressive about the damage these party-goers inflict on their surroundings is the efficiency with which they do it, like a drunken SEAL Team 6. The bars close at 9 p.m. which most would consider early for a night out on the Square compared to weekend benders lasting well into the morning, but the kids adapted quickly to the early peak turnt time. “Honestly, getting absolutely faced on Sunday might be the most responsible thing you could do,” said Ole Miss junior Lars Simone. “Everyone’s hammered by 8 o’clock and heading to late night or off to crash with their slam by 9:30. I ended up passing out so early Sunday, I woke up early enough to do a week’s worth of homework and even went for a run. I haven’t gone running since the Clinton administration; sloshed Sundays might be the best thing I could ever do for my health.” As much as the employees hate it, the students love it. Sundays use to be spent lounging by the pool, enjoying a few beers. If you wanted to truly throw down on Sundays, it took some pretty solid planning. Now, you can go full-rage seven days a week.
“Sundays have been getting better this year with the start of cold beer and Sunday sales, now they’re complete,” said sophomore Luke Buelow as he wiped away a single tear. “Like, who wants to start butt chugging at the pre-game only to realize it’s Sunday and you’re stuck at the house with a butt full of beer and nowhere to go? The aldermen are really tuned into the city’s needs.”
The wide-spread popularity of Sunday bar life actually came as a surprise to the aldermen who passed the change. “We just thought it might bring some extra revenue in,” said alderman Frank Welker. “By no means were we expecting this to transform into a weekly party of Mardi Gras proportions. I’ve even heard reports that a ‘ceiling twerk’ is being pioneered by an elite twerk team that frequents La
Paz and The Levee.” Who would have guessed that Sunday would become the biggest party day of the week? What was originally seen as a change made for the sake of being reasonable, has quickly become a historic event changing the face of Oxford forever.
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COLLEGE KID HAS AN AWESOME VICARIOUS SPRING BREAK
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Do You Like Piña Coladas and Traumatizing Children for Life? CHANNING GREEN WROTE THIS Erin Corley is a blonde-haired blueeyed white girl with big boobs, a tiny waist and the impressive ability to drink a grown man’s weight in Jameson and look fabulous doing it. Moreover, Corley is a junior at Ole Miss infamous for her spring break shenanigans. Spring break 2012, in Panama City Beach, she accidentally kicked a tarp on the beach that had a homeless man hidden underneath. The man with no home was angered. But that’s not what we’re interested in hearing about. The spring break of 2013 was one of the most ridiculous things that has ever happened to Erin, and she sat down to share it with us. The Black Sheep: Paint a picture for us, Erin. Erin Corley: Okay. So my family owns a condo in Perdido Key in Florida just beyond the Alabama state line. My friends and I, when we get a break, often go there, get shitty, and do irresponsible things. TBS: Irresponsible things?
EC: Like, this one time, we got so drunk off of Mountain Dew and pinot grigio mixed together, that we ended up at restaurant trying to convince a Russian waitress that we were also from the motherland. TBS: Did she buy it? EC: Sorta. She thought we were in the mob. My friend shouted at her in fake Russian, the waitress sobbed, we were thrown out -- quite literally -- but they didn’t make us pay for any of the food, which was pretty cool. They just wanted us to stop harassing their employee. I always thought Russians had thicker skin.
TBS: Where did you guys go swimming at? EC: The ocean. There is a stretch of beach that is completely deserted at night and it’s good place to do stupid stuff when the sun goes down. TBS: Like confuse a foreigner with borderline racist and combative behavior? EC: Exactly. Anyway, so we get to the beach and Chuck and I strip naked and jump in the water. Well, we’re in there for about a half hour when flashlights start coming towards us from up the beach.
TBS: Wow that sounds like a stupid and pretty inconsiderate thing to do. How did you feel after you and your friends did all this? EC: Drunk and needing to pee.
TBS: Who was it? EC: Children, a massive amount of children, like a dozen or so, all under ten with two adults, scanning the beach with flashlights.
TBS: Okay, right on. But what is the story you wanted to share with us today? EC: It was a full moon one night during spring break and my friend Chuck and I decided to go skinny dipping at about 2 in the morning.
TBS: What were they doing? EC: Crab hunting. Apparently that’s the thing to do in Florida at 2a.m. TBS: So what did you guys do? EC: Well with my pale skin and blonde hair, I was a naked, oddly-
shaped traffic cone with boobs in the moonlight. So I rolled with it. I pretended to be a mermaid. TBS: How’d that go for you? EC: Not so well. They screamed. When they heard me splash around they yelled “Oh my gosh there is a naked person!” So I’m, like, 86% sure they saw me. TBS: What did Chuck do? EC: He ran at them. TBS: A grown naked man ran at a group of children? How did they react? EC: They couldn’t see Chuck very well, he’s Native American-y so he was just a dark shape, unlike me, a fair-haired Nike reflector strip. They fled in terror, the adults too. So I followed him and we went to grab our clothes and take off but they weren’t there. TBS: Did the traumatized children take them? EC: That was our first theory, but I think the tide washed them away. We probably didn’t put them high
enough on the beach. But we found Chuck’s shorts with his pocket knife in them and he cut up one of those oversized umbrellas and I covered myself with the fabric from that. TBS: What’d you guys do next? EC: We walked over to a gas station a little ways down so Chuck could buy some cigarettes. He was out. Gotta have your Marly Reds, right? Then we just went back to the condo and made piña coladas. Police showed up at the beach around ten minutes
after we left. TBS: Wow. That was dumb. EC: Well, it happened so there isn’t much I can do about it now. Piña colada? TBS: Uh, sure. I guess. Thanks. Did you just have these prepared? EC: Yeah, I usually keep two or three on hand. TBS: Hmph. This is really good. EC: Right?
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COLLEGE KID HAS AN AWESOME VICARIOUS SPRING BREAK KNOWLTON BOURNE WROTE THIS
Oxford, MS – Ole Miss senior and vacationer Gene Harfle reported that he had “the dopest spring break of his college career without even leaving his home.” Although Harfle was left stranded in his Oxford, Mississippi apartment for the break, he claimed that he experienced a monumental spring break, viewed vicariously through his friends’ social media. “It was super dope, they did so many awesome things over the break and I really felt like I was there to witness it firsthand. My friends and I are going to be talking about this epic spring break for years to come.” Harfle stated, “I didn’t even have to leave my apartment. I was just constantly checking all the dope Instagram pics and Snapchats my friends were posting, it was like I was really there getting Hep C from taking body shots off anyone on their back. Super dope stuff.” Harfle says that he was really able to experience the sandy beaches of Destin next to his bros and all the “wicked hot babes rockin ‘kinis that’d leave their dads straight ashamed.” “There was this one time my bro Daniel was totally chugging beer and then he vomited all over some girl. I was like LoL—laughed out loud for sure! I’ll never forget it. Best spring break ever.” Since the ubiquity of such social media platforms as Instagram, Vine, and Snapchat, many college students have been found experiencing the world through the lens of an iPhone. Whole vacations and Friday night outings can be seen
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from the comfort of one’s own home straight from a phone, putting us one step closer to a life of surrogacy. Dibs on Bruce Willis. Gene Harfle remained stuck in Oxford, as he was really late in getting his spring break plans together, citing school and “that dank, dank strange” as his reasons for procrastinating. So he was left to just sit back in the comfort of his own empty, socially void home to really see the world. Harfle reported, “But it totally worked out in my favor! I’m definitely going to do the big hiking trip we all planned this summer through my phone as well. Bugs are always crawling on me when I walk through the woods. Not on me, but in. I think it’s a curse, like in Holes y’know? Anyway, staying here is less of a hassle but for the same awesome time.” The Ole Miss senior told The Black Sheep that the key to having a great experience for your spring break is to start “following and liking all the dudes who are going to the beach, camping, sailing and music festivals for spring break. They will undoubtedly be posting super-awesome pics and it will be your ticket to a great spring break. At one point I was basically at the beach with my buddy and then after the scroll through my phone I was skydiving with my friend Melanie. Skydiving comes with a pretty big risk of, like, dying, but I got all the experience of jumping out of a plan only without the whole maybe dying part being factored in. It was awesome.” “If you can beat all the hassles and costs of traveling, then why wouldn’t you. I had a great spring break and had all the same experience as all my bros.”
RELATIONSHIPS
MIX CDs WITH MIXED SIGNALS MICAJAH HENLEY WROTE THIS
Spring is on its way, which means love will soon be in the air screwing with everyone’s sinuses, and soon the exploration of creative ways to hide hickies will ensue. Naturally, fellas have been planting seeds since the semester started by getting their flirt on with a multitude of possible lady friends to fling with over the spring. Now is the time to really throw your nervous, sweaty post-pubescent self out there and see where you land. If you want to be the guy who swings for the fences and tries to get with three ladies, becoming the reason why romantic comedies keep pushing plots about women with commitment issues, then do your thing. But if you want to play it cool and prevent Jennifer Aniston from choosing one more bad role in some shitty rom-com, then more power to you. In order to figure out which girl is most worthy of your time—and if we’re being honest, your monies—then set them all up with a master mix of songs filled with mixed signals to see which one makes it through your ambiguously romantic and carefully composed list of songs that say “I’m interested, but I’m not gonna set the whole scene for you. Do you wanna talk it over at Handy Andy’s?” “But The Black Sheep, shouldn’t I be more hip and make her a mix tape?” Great question, curious reader! You could very well make her a tape. Then afterward, you can send it back to 1988 where it belongs, then pick up some trusty CDR discs from literally any convenient store and start getting your head in the game. Now, if you’re making a mix for multiple gals, you can’t just throw on 12 tracks with overly romantic, “I Want To Hold Your Hand” overtones. Keep them guessing and coming back for more. The worst that can happen: they drop off one at a time until you find the one jewel of the bunch who knows all the words to “The Humpty Dance” by The Digital Underground. Finding the songs is not as hard as one might think. For example, try opening up on a high note, perhaps, something like “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems” by Biggie, featuring the artist formally known as Puff Daddy. The track will let her know you like to have a good time and lead her to believe you can shoulder shimmy like it’s nobody’s business. Girls love a shoulder shimmy. Then really mix it up with one of Radiohead’s
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actual radio hits, “Creep.” She won’t understand, but that’s all part of the fun. This sort of give and take is necessary to sort through the girls who have been holding your attention yet are uncertain about. Next, go a little old school and serve up a dose of America’s first rock ‘n roll band, The Beach Boys. Hit the ladies with a side of “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” and a spoonful of “Help Me, Rhonda.”You’ll have her saying “Nice if we were older? Like marriage? Is he serious?” followed by another line of questioning and doubt that may sound like, “Wait—am I Rhonda? Is he using me to get over another girl? I’m most certainly intrigued.” Finally, show her your sensitive side with a good bit of “Linger” by The Cranberries. She will either link you’re romantic or obsessive. Either way, it works for sorting through the ladies to see which one can handle someone who would premeditate the idea of making three girls a mix CD for the purpose of sending mixed signals; clearly there are some emotional complexities at play here. Then toss a wrench into this well-oiled mix machine with a strong closer. Something along the lines of “99 Problems” by the prophet Jay Z. Will she think you’re a bit of an asshole? There’s a chance. But are girls typically drawn to guys like that? If our time in Oxford has taught us anything regarding the male, female dynamic at play—yes, yes, they are. There you have it, faithful readers. Make a mix that will keep the girls guessing and wanting more. Whoever remains interested and is for whatever reason turned on to the idea of you sending her through a rollercoaster of emotions, will likely be the best catch of the three. And if nothing sticks, do you really want a girl who can’t jam to Notorious B.I.G., Puff Daddy, and Ma$e? Here’s to you finding that girl for a spring time fling.
Unless you follow someone with real photography skills or a cool job that allows him to travel around the world, your Instagram feed can get a bit repetitive. And although you like every single picture Hot Rebecca posts, you secretly wanna rip her #nofilter #greeneyes outta their sockets. You’re bound to see these 10 Instagram posts whenever you look, and we know you despise them every single time. How many are you guilty of? 10.) An artsy, black and white Starbucks cup: If you have an Instagram account, chances are you’ve consumed at least one grande soy latte in your life, and dammit, you better let everyone know. Make sure it’s positioned by that slice of lemon pound cake too, so everyone can be extra jealous of your ritzy coffee shop ways while they’re poor at home with instant Nescafe. 9.) An OOTD by a girl with an unimpressive ass: When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Let’s guess. She’s wearing riding boots, leggings and a fashionable, multi-colored scarf too, right? It’s nothing new; she just wants attention and she’ll do—wait, actually that shirt is kinda cute. 8.) A gross hand with a semi-attractive nail polish design: Just because you wasted three hours etching out perfectly straight stripes on your pinky finger doesn’t mean we’re going to be impressed (but we kinda are). Try investing in some Vaseline for those man hands instead of another green OPI shade. 7.) A bouquet of flowers from a boyfriend (who isn’t yours): Well, isn’t that sweet. Your favorite on-again-off-again is obviously back on, and you’re still dating Domino’s delivery and Comcast OnDemand. Although you’re happy he went with the spring mix of lilies and tulips, you wish they were on your kitchen table instead. 6.) A super cute puppy (that also isn’t yours): You brought this on yourself by following 10 different puppy-of-the-day accounts, and now you must suffer the adorable consequences. Your squealing and “aww”-ing are almost as annoying as the fact that that dog is cuddling with a jumbo-sized tennis ball and not you. 5.) A heavily edited landscape shot: Everyone has a creative side, some just cover it with more sepia tone than others. You can make any main street sidewalk or college quad look good if you crop it just right. And although the grass may look greener somewhere else, that’s just because they changed the contrast. 4.) A conspicuous cleavage shot: Coming from the same girl as #9, this picture always seem to be accompanied by #blonde and #blueeyes. It’s perfectly angled so there is little left to the imagination. You gotta admit that she looks like, super cute with that cat eye, but why oh why can’t you snag a pair of jugs like hers?! 3.) A bottle of beer: Bonus points if it’s some obscure, rare craft beer like Three Floyds Zombie Dust. This picture is the humblebrag of alcoholics everywhere who like to show their less-cool friends that they’re drinking on a Tuesday afternoon. Even though you’re not a fan of their choice of brew, a little Monday Funday is always something to be jealous of. 2.) An inspirational quote: The reason she put that freaking paragraph about love on Instagram is because it’s too long for Twitter and too revealing for Facebook (like, everyone knows she’s talking about Jason). Why people post pictures of just words is something we’ll never understand, but that last sentence definitely has tattoo potential… 1.) A hamburger/sub sandwich/ice cream sundae: So many layers and colors and types of cheese! It’s a photographer’s dream! Although it makes you look like a carb-munching animal, it makes the rest of the Instagram world hungry and sad, giving you the upper hand. Dammit, you win.
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ON THE STREETS WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE LITTLE-KNOWN TURN OF PHRASE? Nick
“’Getting annihilated,’ it means not remembering anything when you’re drinking.”
Tim
“’Tying one on.’ It means starting your night out.”
Karah
“’Bless your heart,’ it’s a southern insult.”
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ice v r e le S t 14! t 0 u 2 h l S Fal g rtin a t S NOW LEASING FOR 2014! « ConnectionAtOxford.com « 2000 Oxford Way « Oxford, MS « 662.267. 3770 « fb.com/ConnectionOxford « NOW LEASING FOR 2014!
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Survivor Ratings Falter, More Boobs Is The Answer Hugh Jass wrote this
After the Survivor: Caramoan season finale hit an all-time low of a paltry 10.16 million viewers, producers decided that they needed to do something drastic to bring the show’s waning viewership out of a tailspin. But reenergizing a program that was faltering as it approached its 30th season was not going to be a cakewalk. After running through various scenarios that included tribes composed of pro athletes, deposed politicians, and washed-up singers, producers finally settled upon a format for the 28th season. The show’s development staff unanimously decided that there needed to be more boobs on prominent display. In order to do that while appearing politically correct, they divided the tribes by the traits of “Brawn, Brains, Beauty.” Unfortunately, the season premiere of Cagayan did not fare nearly as well as CBS analysts predicted, and it left producers of the show scrambling. “We really messed up on this one. There weren’t nearly enough boobs, and the Brain tribe was just plain awful,” said producer Jeff Probst. “Everybody hates nerds, that’s why we gave them all swirlies in junior high. I don’t know what we were thinking.” Probst, along with the other producers, put together a crack focus group to confirm suspicions of where they went wrong. Unsurprisingly their fears were correct, and the focus groups demonstrated that people cared least for the Brain tribe, with reasons ranging from “They ain’t got no nice titties on ‘em” to “If I wanted to watch a bunch of ugly, unfunny brainiacs I’d be tuning into The Big Bang Theory.” Probst and the producers had forgotten the golden rule of reality television: intelligence has no place in it. “People who watch reality television fall into two camps,” explained Probst. “The first camp is made up of people who want to laugh at the subjects and feel more secure about their lives. Take Jersey Shore for example. They look and those idiots and say ‘I might be a slut, but hey, at least I’m not as bad as Snooki!’ The second camp of people wants to see catfights and look at boobs,” Probst adjusted his crotch, attempting to conceal his enthusiasm. “Personally, I fall into the second camp, which is partially why we went the direction that we did.”
“If I wanted to watch a bunch of ugly, unfunny brainiacs I’d be tuning into The Big Bang Theory.” With Survivor being filmed in the summer and broadcast months later, altering the show was going to be an issue. However, all the participants were rounded back up to re-film, except for one group. “We completely took the Brain team off the island, and replaced them with models from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition,” a wild-eyed Probst claimed. “The season is also being rebranded with the three tribes representing Brawn, Boobies, and More Boobies. We figured we’d stop pulling punches and call a spade a spade.” Probst tapped six models from the 2014 Swimsuit Edition roster. Among the newly-added contestants is Kate Upton, two-time cover girl for Sports Illustrated. “We’re thrilled that we were able to snag her. Without her we would’ve really had some problems reaching our DD-cup quota, but she gave us a lot of headroom” Probst said, grinning from ear to ear. Probst is especially excited for Hannah Davis to be joining the cast. “She’s one of my favorites. Her body is perfection, and I’m very excited to be only feet away from her in a swimsuit,” he raved, excusing himself to the bathroom. Early polls are demonstrating that the show may nearly double its viewership when the new cast makes its debut. “We’ve been toying with the idea of having a live episode and there being a ‘wardrobe malfunction.’ The money we’ll reap in viewership numbers will far outweigh whatever fine gets stamped on us. This is off the record, right?” a very sweaty Jeff Probst asked. “I didn’t even realize that show was still on television, but if there is even the slightest chance that Kate Upton’s top might fall off I’ll be watching every episode,” said Sam Dean, a recent graduate. “Hell, I sat through all of Piranha 3D because there were some topless broads in it, I can deal with Survivor.” There will also be new challenges to capitalize on the new cast. “I’m really looking forward to the kissing contests, which I’m going to be judging of course,” Probst chortled. Season 28 will also see the addition of contests like a slow motion jogging challenge as well as bikini mud wrestling. However, the original Beauty team is not happy with the addition of the swimsuit models. “I was supposed to be salivated over. I was supposed to be the one everyone was talking about. Now they bring in all these models and I’m playing second fiddle,” scowled Morgan McLeod. McLeod is not alone, as many of the other members of the Beauty squad have complained as well. “I was brought here on the grounds that I would be able to flirt my way through the entire competition. Forcing me to use my other, less developed skills is completely unfair and not what I signed up for,” stated former beauty pageant contestant and current trophy wife Kelly Demming. Upper management at CBS was initially concerned that the addition of models to the program wouldn’t be catering to the female audience enough, but a short meeting with all the castmates changed that. “The girls really got into it at our first meeting, it was wild. There was hair pulling, screaming, the whole nine yards,” said Probst with a smile. “This is starting to become The Real Housewives of Survivor, and chicks love that type of garbage.” While it has become clear that Survivor is on its last legs, producers believe they can squeeze out a dozen more seasons with the new format. “We figure that as long as people are still tuning into TLC to watch 600-pound people try to live their lives, there is a place for Survivor on the dial. Especially if the show has lots of boobs. And exciting challenges, but mostly boobs,” said Probst as he grabbed a bottle of lotion and left the room.
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Favorite Drink: Budweiser Favorite Shot: Jameson Worst Drink: Cement mixer What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen someone do for a shot?: Vomit on command. What liquor has changed most in popularity during your time working here?: Fireball, it’s the most popular.
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What animal do you most resemble?: A bear If you had to brush your teeth with a bathroom staple besides toothpaste, what would it be?: Listerine Did you know the phrase “barking up the wrong tree” is actually about a time when oak bark grew on a birch tree?: No, no one does.
OF THE WEEK
If you were a Greek god of something, you’d be the Greek god of…: Hell Fire
JD of Blind Pig DRINKING GAME Saucy Skyscraper When flip cup and beer bongin’ cheap beer just doesn’t do it for you anymore, it’s time to pull out the fancy stuff. This game involves some minor engineering skills, though, so get your nerdy friends to have some fun with you for once. What You’ll Need: A die, 1 shot glass, 3 cups, bottle of tequila, case of beer, bottle of wine, some sort of whiskey or rum, Coke (or any other mixer you want), and a bunch of sturdy coasters. Number of Players: As many as you want! Level of Intoxication: Just hope lady luck is on your side or things can turn ugly. How to Play: - Make a tower of drinks in the following order (top to bottom): shot glass of tequila, half-filled cup of a mixed drink, full cup of a mixed drink, full cup of white wine, and a can of beer. - When you stack up the drinks, put a coaster in between each layer. If this is just like, way too difficult for you to handle, you can place them in order on the table instead. (It’s not really a Saucy Skyscraper then. It’s more like a Liquor Line.) - Players take turns rolling the die. The first person to roll a 6 takes the shot of tequila. - Continue rolling until the next person gets a 6. He or she must then remove the coaster. The next person to roll a 6 drinks the half-cup mixed drink. - The game continues in this way—waiting for players to roll a 6, removing the coasters and drinking up. - While playing, always wait for the person to finish their drink before rolling the die, EXCEPT for the beer. As soon as someone rolls a 6 and is stuck drinking the beer, the rest of the players pass the die, trying to roll a 6 before the beer is gone. - If the drinker finishes the beer first, all the other players have to take a shot. If someone rolls a 6 before the beer is done, the drinker must finish the can and then take a shot as well.
Is it hot in here, or is it just your daddy issues?: I have no idea what that means. Why should people read The Black Sheep?: It’s a really funny way to waste time.
RECIPE for DISASTER Chocolate-Covered Bacon Two of the world’s greatest creations combined together can only mean one thing: a sweet and crunchy mouth orgasm. Skip the gym today, stay home in your favorite sweatpants and turn on that Law & Order: SVU marathon, baby. The only place you’re going is chocolate-covered bacon heaven. What You’ll Need: 1 pound of thick cut bacon (DON’T be cute and get turkey bacon), 12 ounces of white chocolate, 12 ounces of dark chocolate, 12 ounces of milk chocolate, 12 ounces of more chocolate just for the hell of it, and any toppings you want (sprinkles, crushed nuts, more bacon, etc.) Cook Time: 30-45 minutes Fatty Factor: You can’t have too much of a good thing. Let’s Get Baked: - Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. - Bake the bacon in the oven for 20 minutes until it’s nice and crispy. - Let the bacon cool for a few minutes before putting the slices on paper towels to soak up the extra grease. - Melt your chocolate on very low heat in different pots over the stove. You should probably do them one at a time because we know you’re not good at multitasking and because chocolate can burn pretty easily. - Using tongs, dip a slice of bacon into your chocolate of choice and make sure both sides are coated. Lay the dipped pieces down on a clean sheet of parchment paper. - Sprinkle the freshly-dipped bacon with your toppings—sprinkles, more crunchy bacon bits, cinnamon, crushed almonds, anything you want!
The Game Ends When: You finish the tower and still have enough alcohol to build another one!
Let the chocolate sit for a few minutes or put them in the refrigerator until they’re hard. Eat up!
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THE KEANU REEVES SHUFFLE Do you know what movies all of these Keanu Reeves characters are from? Email us at backpage@theblacksheeponline.com. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!
FILM BANK
1) Point Break 2) Speed 3) The Devil’s Advocate 4) The Matrix 5) The Replacements
6) 47 Ronin 7) The Day the Earth Stood Still 8) Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure 9) Constantine
the crossword ACROSS: 3) This company is famous for making baked goods and more, two words. 5) SJP played this Carrie on Sex and the City. 6) Sarah Drew plays this doctor on Grey’s Anatomy. 7) Darlene Connor of Roseanne’s real last name. 11) Sarah comedian who was married to Jimmy Kimmel. 12) Sara Quin is one-half of the duo featuring her twin sister named what? 13) Sarah Palin was governor of this state. 14) SARAH is a fictional smart house in what SyFy TV Series? 15) This famous children’s book featured Sarah, who was plain and what? 16) One of the most famous jazz singers of our time, Sarah who? 17) Sarah Ferguon is this kind of royalty of York.
famous sara(h)s late-90s dreamboat. 2) Sara Blakely is the founder of this popular women’s undergarment company. 3) Sarah, the private college. 4) This famous Sara had the 2007 hit song “Love Song.” 8) Sarah McLachlan founded this woman-friendly music festival, two words. 9) This Florida city’s motto is “Where Urban Amenities Meet Small-Town Living.” 10) Former Playermate of the Year and host of G4’s Attack of the Show!
DOWN: 1) Sarah Michelle Gellar married this
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THE LEVEE HAS YOU COVERED
ALL WEEK LONG!
MONDAY! HAPPY HOUR: $0.25 WINGS, $1 OFF ALL ALCOHOL NIGHT: $2 PITCHERS TUESDAY! HAPPY HOUR: $10 BURGER & BOTTOMLESS BEER, $1 OFF ALL ALCOHOL NIGHT: 2-FOR-1 WELLS AND SHOOTERS WEDNESDAY! HAPPY HOUR: 2-FOR-1 APPETIZERS AND $3 WELL WHISKEY, $1 OFF ALL ALCOHOL NIGHT: $2 WELLS AND $1 DRAFTS
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Smoked BBQ Nachos
House fried tortilla chips smothered with your choic pulled pork or smo ked chicken,cheese sauce, and BBQ sauce. $9.00 jalapenos add $.50
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s topped with cheese and bacon. $5 Rebel Nachos House fried tortilla chips topped with a crea my sausag cheese dip. $9.00
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Served with fries.
1/4 # of Hickory smo ked pulled pork with slaw / 1/2 # of Hickory smoked pull ed pork with slaw. 8.00 / 9.00
Beef Brisket
Our beef brisket, seas oned and smoked for hours for a de smoky flavor and chop ped served on texas toast. 9.00 Burger
HAPPY HOUR!
Eight ounces of bee f, pickle, onions, lett uce, and tomato mustard and mayo on a ciabatta bun. $8.0 0
Bacon Cheese Burger
Eight ounces of bee f, cheddar or pepper jack cheese, and tw slices of bacon on a ciabatta bun. $9.50
Monday - Friday: $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf The Don Vito
Chicken breast saut eed with onions and tomatoes in a white wine sauce, provolo ne cheese, and ranc h dressing served on ciabatta bun. $9.50 a
The Swog Style Pork
A fried pork loin toss ed in a house made buffalo sauce with lettuce, tomato, onio ns, brown sugar bac on, pepper jack cheese and a fried egg on a ciabatta bun . $10.00
– Quesadil la
s–
Hickory smoked Pull
ed Pork
1/2 # Pulled pork, ched
dar cheese, BBQ sauc
Beef Brisket
e 9.00
Hickory smoked Bris ket, onions, peppers , cheddar cheese with BBQ sauce on the side 9.00
132 COURTHOUSE SQUARE | (662) 513-0588 Chicken
Smoked or Seared Chic ken with onions, pep pers, cheddar cheese served with salsa and sour crea m 9.00 Warning: Consumptio
n of undercooked
meat, poultry, eggs,
or seafood may increa
se