OLE MISS SPRING ISSUE 7 by The Black Sheep

Volume 8

The Black Sheep

FRE E! L ik pai e a ho r of me jort ma s... de

The College Newspaper That's Actually About College

Issue 7

LADY REBEL’S SPRING WARDROBE MUST-HAVES Caitlin Kennedy wrote this

The sun has chased those chilly days away and it’s springtime at Ole Miss. Like butterflies from the chrysalis, Ole Miss girls everywhere are shedding their winter threads in favor of all things lighter and brighter. As your personal Ole Miss style guide, it’s our job at The Black Sheep to make sure your wardrobe passes muster. Take notes, ladies! Let’s get you looking hot for classes with some ensembles that are as comfy as they are cute! An absolute staple of the Ole Miss spring wardrobe is the big-ass t-shirt. This comfortable piece could be a relic of some sorority event gone by or one of the many red, blue, and Rebel options offered in literally every store in Oxford. The only thing that matters is that it’s BIG. Huge. Baggy. Its purpose is to hide all evidence of the girlish figure underneath. (Tip: If you would normally wear a small, buy an XL.) If the shirt doesn’t hit your calves you’re doing it wrong. A variation on this look is the giant tank top and sports bra combo, bonus points if your sports bra is too small and makes your back fat bulge. Complete that comfort couture look by pairing that big ass t-shirt with a pair of Norts. The tinier the better! The overall illusion of the outfit is to give the appearance that you don’t have anything on under that shirt (if your prof isn’t uncomfortable, you’re not doing it right). The best part is that your Norts do not remotely have to match anything else you have on. Fuck the color wheel and fuck pants with actual zippers. Time to accessorize! Top oﬀ your look with a flashy pair of aviator shades. Always go with Ray-Bans, unless you’re, like, poor… No Ole Miss girl’s spring wardrobe would be complete without a baseball cap! Haven’t washed your hair in three days? Slept an extra thirty minutes instead of whipping your mane into something presentable? Pull that rat’s nest into a ponytail and

slap a cap on that shit. No one will ever know. What about hitting the Square? Don’t worry, girls, your Ole Miss style guide has got you covered! Crop tops and neon are always in (not just for tramps and Coachella anymore)! If anyone who beholds your glowing ass doesn’t walk away with a migraine, you’re doing it wrong! Bonus: The neon look doubles as a safety device. Your friends will never lose you at the bar and totally will be able to save you from going into Faulkner’s Alley with that weird dude. Now, unfortunately, it’s time to get serious. Normally, Lilly Pulitzer would be at the top of the list when it comes to the discerning

Ole Miss fashionista. But did you hear that Lilly is collaborating with Target!? It’s a travesty!! Peasants will be wearing Lilly! FAT PEASANTS! You might as well burn your entire collection now, because Lilly is dead. One last thing: the most important part of the Ole Miss girl’s wardrobe is the monogram! Monogrammed jackets, monogrammed shirts, monogrammed necklace, monogrammed Norts, monogrammed clutch, monogrammed tampons, nothing is exempt! And don’t worry, even though everyone is doing it, your initials are all your own so you’re still, like, totes an individual. Stay stylish, friends.

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A GUIDE TO SLEEPING IN THE J.D. WILLIAMS

TOP 10: THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR OLE MISS LIBERAL ARTS DEGREE

NIC CAGE UNDERSTANDS YOUR FINALS STRUGGLES

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Welcome to Page Three! You are about to have more fun than a freshman at a frat party. Tweet us your answers, or send them to page3@theblacksheeponline.com. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!

PAGE THREE THE BLACK SHEEP’S LEGENDARY

WORD OF THE WEEK

80s CARTOON CHARACTER PORN STAR NAME?

PINTURNT UP When a girl makes all the booze recipes she finds on Pinterest and gets completely plastered.

HONDO MACLEAN

Becky made 8 cosmos, 3 martinis, and 5 rainbow colored shooters last night. She was so pinturnt up!

CAN YOU GUESS THE CELEBRITY BACK?

THE BATHROOM GRAFFITI CUTOUT Know of a bathroom stall that needs some pizazz? Cut this out, stick in a bathroom stall, snap a pic and #Sheepﬃti and we’ll send you a prize!

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PAGE 4 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

GET LOUD!

Swayze Field: Turnt Up in the Student Section Evan Myers wrote this

Just a weekend or two ago, Oxford celebrated the Lord’s first baptism, also known as “Easter.” For many students, this meant fleeing home to their families for a lovely three-day weekend. However, as many of our readers know, The Black Sheep is run by family-less heathens. Without loved ones or pet rabbits, we looked for things to do in Oxford on Easter and decided to give our faithful followers an update on what they missed out on while devouring Peeps. What we stumbled upon was a diamond in the rough. Baseball, America’s alleged pastime, turned out to still be a thing. With drunk Solo cups racing each other, occasional runs, and a guaranteed buzz there is no reason not to watch our Rebs play stickball. We spoke to one student castaway on his experience spending time alone at a baseball game on the rebirth of Christ. “I just started pouring beer on the people around me since apparently our bats are allergic to homeruns.” Allergies or not, the student section at Swayze is a great place to hide out during Islam’s second most popular holiday. The security didn’t seem to care about the drum circle underneath a mushroom cloud of Prop48 smoke. If you find yourself stuck in Oxford and friendless, the drum circle in right field is the spot to be. One security guard even joined in the fun. “I don’t normally smoke on the job… but fuck it. Jesus didn’t slay that dragon for me to sit here and not to chase it.”

Not everyone who went to the game even bothered to watch it. Some ingenious students found a way to intoxicate themselves in the name of Christ; all while ignoring the sporting event they attended. Tom Judas, a freshman, put up a projector to watch The Passion of The Christ and started a drinking game. “I chug a bottle of wine starting from when Peter first lies until the cock crows. Which was longer than I thought it would be.” The surly bastard explained, apparently unaware that “cock” is a funny word. “Mel Gibson sure knows how to make his movies drinking game-friendly.” Mr. Judas seemed to be sold on cock wine, however not all individuals are fans of “The Holy Drinking Game,” or even the film. Some of the crowd wasn’t feeling the Catholic guilt, so they did what comes naturally at a baseball game; they heckled the players. Going to Swayze you could see the true meaning of Easter: insulting the right fielder’s dead grandma. “You’re responsible for the death of Christ!” One belligerently drunk man screamed at the outfielder. “Move to the left or He

won’t leave Hell,” he continued. Whether or not Christ went to Hell after He chased the snakes out of Ireland is an object of debate between theologians, but one thing is certain: Talking shit to athletes is fun. We asked the drunk to share his perspective on why he felt the need to taunt the players. “I don’t heckle because it makes me feel like a bigger man, I heckle because I love Ole Miss. Yes, I haven’t been enrolled here for three years, but that’s hardly the point. I love Ole Miss so much I trash athletes and refuse to leave Oxford. That’s true love.” Easter Sunday and every Sunday, if you want a good time, Swayze is the place for you. Practice your heckling, chase the dragon, bring Mel Gibson, and start pouring beer on your girlfriend’s dad. He won’t mind.

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CONFESSIONS OF A WOMAN’S FIRST TIME IN THE TURNER CENTER A Living Toothpick wrote this

The Black Sheep sent one of our bravest reporters out on a quest for glory and girth. A real first-time trip to the Turner Center. We would like to take everyone on an internal journey with us today, much like Dante through the Inferno. The Motivation: Females at Ole Miss have certain expectations that are placed on one’s body; like that they should have a nice one. Seems easy enough, but that’s where beer comes in. Beer is our friend, it wants to make us happy and never leave us. So it doesn’t. It sits in your stomach and makes a dwelling. The more beer one consumes, the bigger this spongy pouch of beer and chip essence becomes. So, ladies have to work out, and even worse, at the Turner Center. ::Queue lightning:: If there’s one thing The Black Sheep fears most, it’s working on our sad, unloved bodies. Thus follows the chronicles of our first time in the recreational castle. The People of the Tuner Center: We walked in expecting to see judgmental looks, much like the ones your parents gave you when you drank too much at Easter brunch. But like, don’t have wine there if you don’t want us to disappoint you, mom. We’ve been though this before. Anyway, we expected the looks to come from attractive people. However, very few people had on sassy sports bras and Lululemon leggings. In fact, there were only three girls and six boys to be seen wearing said uniform. A lot of these people were downright average. You could tell who was desperately clinging to that New Year’s resolution and who was a regular. There were also people who looked a little bit lost just like us. We saw you, friends. The Equipment: The workout machines looked like they only wanted to hurt people. They mocked our unchiseled abs and twig arms. They had strange foreign names like “elliptical” and “push up” and “Karen.” There were collections of oversized bouncy balls that only caused confusion and weren’t as bouncy as the little ones are. There were sports areas for the sports to happen on, in or around. There was a pool where people were swimming fast back and forth, and all we wanted was to play Marco Polo. No one would say “Polo.” The Activities: There are classes, like yoga and “cycling.” Cycling sounds like a lot of angry, bleeding women sitting in a room being passive aggressive. Running. There is running. People try to make you sign up for hikes and camping trips, further feeding our inexplicable fear of poison ivy in weird places and sleeping near raccoons that only intend to make your life harder. The Turner Center is clearly for sadistic people. The Black Sheep pride ourselves on being able to bring as many safety precautions as possible to our readers. Well here’s one: Don’t work out. It hurts. The next day you think an OUT bus has hit you. Does anyone really care what you look like naked? Yes? Oh. Well good for you. That must be really nice.

Getting Your Shit Together: Finals Week Edition Finals week is approaching Ole Miss faster than a Grove squirrel in heat. As the tulips on campus have already died along with anyone’s dream of graduating on time, students are seeing the semester fly past them in the wrong direction. Many students are experiencing fear and anxiety over their impending doom. If you’re a student experiencing this, or simply can’t get your brain thoughts together, you’re in luck. The Black Sheep compiled a list of ways to get your shit in line: Adderall.

A Very Brief Guide to Sleeping in the J.D. Williams

Chaning Green wrote this

Finals time is fast approaching. There’s always a kid who has an awkward encounter with a frazzled guy from the Physical Plant at 2 a.m. who’s just there to lock up the building and go home to an unappreciative wife. So The Black Sheep is here to save the day. Once again.

Oh, that’s it.

coke. It’ll give you the necessary boost to care about things. Your normal lack of focus will be eliminated and knowledge will magically enter you.

Some students may be hesitant to abuse meth for the sake of getting good grades. You know what we call those people? B-students. Put Adderall in everything you consume. Your Frosted Flakes, your Jimmy John’s, your Coke, and your

While some may argue that getting sleep, studying at a healthy rate, eating a wellbalanced diet and paying attention in class are enough to do well, we at The Black Sheep would argue otherwise. Study after study show that simply taking a drug

and cramming an entire semester’s worth of work in one night is basically no big deal. All the kids are doing it so whatever. If consuming drugs isn’t your thing, then honestly, we’ve got nothing for you. Finals week is coming quicker than an insecure writer. Grab a study buddy, some coffee, and get to work, son. - Evan Myers wrote this

Option One: Sleep on the third floor. Find that room with the stationary bikes. They have been storing a super-uncomfortable couch there for the past couple weeks so if you hurry, you can probably get dibs. Lock yourself in there. Turn off the lights. Dream of a time when you loved yourself.

mezzanine. There are a couple secret staircases that are just wide enough for you and that third pot of coffee to climb up. You will find several dozen tiny rooms just big enough for a desk and a chair that are for some reason only supposed to be used by grad students. Whatever. Pass out there. Hope you’re good at sleeping standing up. Those are The Black Sheep’s napping suggestions when it comes to the library. Remember to pack granola bars ‘cause once you’re in, you’re in. And no napturbating. Animals.

Option Two: Find one of those wings where the bookshelves have those weird pirate ship wheels and turn those until there is just enough room for your narrow, malnourished body to lay for two hours while you think about how you know accounting will be useful but, like, how useful. Be sure to lock the cranks. You can legitimately get crushed and die. Which would be, very, very embarrassing. Option Three: There are some secret rooms in the floors between the floors of the library. It’s called the

THE TOP TEN

Things to Do with Your Ole Miss Liberal Arts Degree With graduation right around the corner, you must be wondering about your next move. Let’s be honest, the only thing you have lined up after graduation is your farewell lines of coke with your bros. To help cope with the inevitable existential crisis you’ll soon be facing, The Black Sheep has compiled a list of the top ten things you can do with your liberal arts degree.

10.) Cry: It’s okay, let it all out. Student loans and unemployment make The Black Sheep sad too. We don’t cry over it, because we aren’t crybabies, but you do you. Don’t let anyone get in the way of your pity party. 9.) Become an Actor: You took Theatre 201 freshman year, you’re perfect for any part. Besides, have you seen the theatre kids? If they can make bank “playing pretend,” then you certainly can. You’ll get to live in L.A. where you could meet Samuel L. Jackson! Then you can ask him if you can have his babies… 8.) Backpack Across Europe: “Mom, I’m taking a year off. I know I’ve been unemployed for a year, but I’m taking another year to figure out who I truly am.” Your mother starts to cry and develops alcoholism right there before your very eyes. She raises her hands to the sky and yells, “I knew I shouldn’t have sent him to public school.” 7.) Become a NASCAR Driver: It’s easy, the only skill involved is driving and turning left. And we’ve all seen how fast you can go through a 24-pack of Budweiser. You’re, like, practically Jeff Gordon already! Just don’t support a chemical company that’s notorious for being an environmental asshole. 6.) Become an Uber Driver: It’s easy, the only skill involved is driving and showering. And not killing people. That last one is extremely important and we cannot stress that enough. You will 600% be fired if you kill people with your car. Don’t ask us how we know. 5.) Become a Dog Psychic: Dogs are super cute and probably only think about super cute things. Who wouldn’t want to have access to a dog’s head 24/7? You’ll become perfectly in tune with the animals around you… Wait, that’s probably how furries got started. Be careful. 4.) Train for a Marathon: It feels like killing yourself, but without any of the permanent effects. When it’s over you’ll even get a sticker that says 26.2 to put on your car window! Your car window. You know, that thing you use to avoid walking? 3.) Binge The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: She was kidnapped and locked in a bunker, like damn. Being unemployed ain’t got shit on that. But that theme song will be stuck in your brain for the next 300 years. Fair warning. 2.) Walk Around with Your Degree Swinging oﬀ Your Neck like You’re Flava Flav: When people mention it yell, “B.A. stands for ‘bad ass!’ I also have a minor in accounting because I’m a well-rounded individual!” 1.) Apply at The University of Mississippi: If all else fails, you’ll always have a home at Ole Miss. A place to pick you up when you’ve fallen down. A place to nest in the darkest winter. A place to do the diarrhea poop where you won’t feel uncomfortable because someone is in the stall next to you. Even if you have to work part time as an EDHE teacher. Broken Hairdryer wrote this

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ON THE STREETS WHAT DO YOU MOST HOPE WILL HAVE CHANGED ON THE CAMPUS WHEN RETURN IN THE FALL? DUSTIN F., JUNIOR

“We’ve eradicated all intersections with four-lane roundabouts.”

BRANDY M., SOPHOMORE “All the sidewalks are automated. Like in The Jetsons.”

TERRENCE H., JUNIOR

“I hope the campus is in harmony, highly tolerant, and that we have a consistent store to buy corn dogs from.”

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THE GRID SPECIAL NIGHT

Happy Hour! Monday-Friday 3-7pm: $1.50 16oz. PBR and Coors, $1 off all Drinks 21 Craft Beers on Tap

Daily Happy Hour Special (Mon - Sat, Starting at 4): $2 Domestics, $2 Pints, 2 for 1 Wells, $1 Off Everything Else

EVERYDAY: 2 for 1 Lime Margaritas

THURSDAY

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Bottle Service! Buy 2 Bottles, Get 1 Free! (8-Close)

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SATURDAY

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SUNDAY

$2.50 Tall Boys, $3 Mimosas, $5 Bloody Marys

Open Sundays!

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Monday Night Trivia, $2.00 Domestics

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Tall Boy Tues $2

Trivia Crack Tuesday 1/2 off drink order if answer trivia crack question correctly (8-Close)

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2 for 1 Lime Margaritas

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THE GRID WED: 2-for-1 Appetizers & $3 Well Whiskey $1 Off All Other Alcohol (3 - 8) Welfare Wednesday! $2 Wells & $1 Drafts (8 - 10)

FRIDAY: $8 Brew and Cue (BBQ Sandwich, Beer and Fries) Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf

SATURDAY: Sip and Snack $1 Off All Drinks 1/2 Off Appetizers

SPECIAL NIGHT

$5 Chicken Finger Basket & Fries, $1 off all alcohol (3 - 8) 2-for-1 Wells, Domestics & Shooters (8 - 10) $2 Champagne (7-11PM)

Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf Half Price Appetizers until 7pm, 2 for 1 Wells from 7-10:30pm

Thirsty Thursday 2-4-1 Wells, $2 Domestics

THURSDAY

2-for-1 Spicy Chicken Sandwiches $1 Off All Alcohol (3 - 8)

$8 Brew and Cue (BBQ Sandwich, Beer and Fries) Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf

Wine Down Friday 2-4-1 Glasses of House Wine 1/2 off all Bottles

FRIDAY

Happy Hour $1 Off All alcohol (3 - 8)

Sip and Snack $1 Off All Drinks 1/2 Off Appetizers

SATURDAY

Closed

SUNDAY

$0.25 Wings, $1 Off All Alcohol (3 - 8) $2 Pitchers (8 - 12)

Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf $6 Half Slab of Ribs, $3 Fireballs

Closed

MONDAY

$10 Burger & Bottomless Beer, $1 Off All Alcohol (3 - 8) 2-for-1 Wells & Shooters (8 - 12)

Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf Half Price Quesadillas, $2 House Wine

TUESDAY

2-for-1 Appetizers & $3 Well Whiskey $1 Off All Other Alcohol (3 - 8) Welfare Wednesday! $2 Wells & $1 Drafts (8 - 10)

Happy Hour! $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $1 Off Top Shelf 2 Sandwiches for $10, $3 Well Whiskey Drinks

WEDNESDAY

NIC CAGE UNDERSTANDS YOUR FINALS STRUGGLES (AND SO CAN YOU!) Finals. What came to mind when you saw that word? Pain? Agony? Nicolas Cage? We know it probably wasn’t Nicolas Cage, but we’re here to tell you it should be. A cornerstone of the Hollywood scene for years, Nicolas Cage is known for his amazing feats of actoring, subtle emotional nuances, and most importantly, starring in really really great movies. But Nic is more than meets the eye; he’s a hidden gem filled with a lifetime of knowledge. While you may not fully understand the tornado of desperation that is finals, it might surprise you to know that Nic does, and he’s here to help.

- Molly Ade

Just thinking about finals is stressful, and stress can make you do crazy things, like get really high and steal a baby. When Nic gets stressed from screaming every word that comes out of his mouth, he too sometimes gets really high and steals a baby. It’s okay, the baby had an edible— he doesn’t even know what his fingers are right now.

That first look at a semester’s worth of notes is like the bubonic plague: no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to avoid being bitten by a rat that’s been running around in street sewage because this is the 14th century and you don’t know what a toilet is. Did you follow that simile? Just looking at the overload of chunks of information squeezed between unidentifiable doodles makes you feel like you’ve somehow been put in a woman’s naked body in the shower while a bumble bee crawls on you and Gordon Ramsay threatens to kill you for overcooking the butternut squash.

Screw having time to de-grime, who has the time to workout during finals? Nic Cage doesn’t have the time to workout during finals. Just like you, Nic likes to tell people he’s working out and staying fit when really he’s just sitting on his couch mesmerized by whatever Lifetime movie is currently playing.

You’re free from that one-night stand that you swear never happened, but you’re not totally in the clear. Finals week isn’t a hangover immunity shield, and nothing makes your head and body hurt more than “The inner mitochondrial membrane is compartmentalized into numerous cristae, which expand the surface area of the inner mitochondrial membrane, enhancing its ability to produce ATP.” One eye is screaming from the brutal assault of library fluorescent lights. The other eye is confused because it comprehended 0% of that sentence. Your brain is smiling though. It’s still drunk and thinks your current inability to properly hold a pencil is hilarious.

The brain can only hold a finite amount of important information—like the sexual preferences of each famous philosopher for example—which means other, more common sense information—like your name or how to operate a microwave—is pushed out of the ol’ ear hole to make room for academia. Silly Nic, handcuﬃng your finger isn’t going to keep you attached to anything!

Sometimes during finals you’re assigned long, painful papers that seem like they’re never going to end. Sometimes you pour your heart and overly caffeinated soul into said treacherously long paper, only to realize you’ve written it on the completely wrong topic and you have 5 hours to do it all over again. When that time comes, it’s only natural to blink out every last little bit of soul you had in your eyes and just stare like you have the mental function of [insert name of Johnny Depp’s character] in [insert name of Johnny Depp movie].

Finals can bring out mixed emotions. You might be happy to be done with one class while still stressfully confused that you’ve still managed to learn nothing in an entire semester. No matter what you’re feeling, you should always be honest with your emotions. When Nic has mixed emotions he leaves them all out on the table. Sometimes he’s happy, sometimes he’s sad. Sometimes he has catstache, sometimes he does not have catstache.

You’re almost at the finish line, just one final to go, but you can’t help feeling like you’ve gained almost too much information in too short a timespan. Begrudgingly you decide you can’t study for your last final, not because you don’t want to, but because the slightest bit more knowledge could startle your bird hair into flying away.

Personal hygiene gets thrown out the window when there’s even a whiff of finals in the air; it’s the only time of year where all students band together to suffocate campus with B.O. stench and blind it with pedophilic pizza delivery guy mustaches. Looking back at pictures, you may be thinking, “What the actual fuck was I thinking?” but don’t be alarmed, Nic is too.

Spending days on end in the cold dungeon the administrators of death call “the library” can take a serious toll on a person. It’s okay to take one night to go out, let loose, and maybe hookup with the love of your life you just met 10 minutes ago. Unfortunately they’ll probably have leopard bed sheets, and more unfortunately the carpet will probably match the leopard drapes, but at least you’ll have a perfect getaway excuse! I’d love to stay and name our future children but the dungeon awaits me.

You’ve made it through finals—finally—but you’re not the same person you were when you started. You’ve gained new knowledge you’ll carry with you for the rest of the next two weeks, you’ve seen things a person should never have to see; if you looked in a mirror you’d barely recognize yourself. Nic goes through this transformation every time he churns out a motion picture for the ages. Is this a picture of an eagle? Yes. Is it also Nic Cage? Yes. Nicolas Cage is now a bird, and so can you.

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BARTENDER OF THE WEEK

BRAD HENDREICKS AT ROOSTER’S

Relationship Status: Taken Major: IMC Favorite Drink: SweetWater Blue Favorite Shot: Tequila Disgusting Drink: Baileys and lime juice If there was a major in bartending, what would be the final?: Bartending a bunch of hyper-ass sorority girls. What food item is criminally underrated as a drunk munchie?: Frozen garlic bread What was the last thing that melted in your but not in your hand?: I can’t remember the time something melted in my mouth.

Which animal would be most intimidating as a robot form? Robotic porcupine, because of projectile needles. What song would you strip to?: “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus. What current piece of technology will be hilarious outdated in 10 years? Our phones. Look at the iPhone. What is the oldest person you’re sexually attracted to?: Martha Stewart Who, what, when, where and why?: Ron Burgundy in Vegas during the ‘60s for strippers, because why not? Why should people read The Black Sheep?: Hottest news and every bar special.

THE DRINKING GAME

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME

I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM

With spring comes the greatest sports season of all time: baseball. So grab a bag of peanuts and take a seat at your favorite stadium. Our drinking game will make your fun in the sun that much more interesting.

The weather is getting warm and will hopefully stay that way. There’s no better way to cool down than to dig into a huge ice cream sundae. Skip the lines of basic bitches at your local froyo shop and create your own sundae following our famous The Black Sheep recipe.

What You’ll Need: Any kind of drink, but if you’re at a ball game it should be a beer, you goddamn American.

What You’ll Need: A tub of your favorite flavor of ice cream, chocolate syrup, sprinkles, whipped cream, and other stuff.

Number of Players: You and 40,000 other sunburnt lunatics.

Fatty Factor: We really hope you’re not lactose intolerant…

Level of Intoxication: You’ll forget which color your team is wearing.

Let’s Get Baked: -Scoop your ice cream into a large bowl. -Heat up the chocolate syrup for 30 seconds, then drizzle it on top. -Drop a couple of diabetic-sized spoonfuls of sprinkles on top. -Dump any other toppings you may have found in your pantry. Think crackers, cookies, gummy anything, left-over pastries from Easter. Just go nuts. -Top it all off with a can of whipped cream. Don’t be shy.

How to Play: -Take a drink every time someone tries to sell you another beer. -Take a drink for every foul ball (try to catch it if it’s near you). -Take a drink each time you see someone with a hot dog. -Take a drink every time a new pitcher or pinch hitter comes in. -Take a drink for each jumbotron game played between innings. Drink twice if your pick loses. -If there’s a meeting at the mound, keep drinking until play resumes. -Take a long drink for every homerun. -Take a big ol’ drink after every inning. -Drink if your team wins. -Drink more if your team loses. The Game Ends: After the 9th inning and you’re left walking in circles trying to find your car outside.

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE APP FOR ALL THE GAMES!

Now that you have a colossal sundae, go ahead and dig in before it starts to melt. Eating your creation in the comfort of your home means you avoid hearing girls talk about just “how white girl wasted” they got last night.

NOMNOMNOM AT THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

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ROUNDTABLE ROUNDTABLE

MONDAY MONDAY

THURSDAY THURSDAY

$0.25WINGS, WINGS,$1 $1OFF OFFALL ALL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL (3(3- -8)8) $0.25 PITCHERS (8 - 12) $2$2PITCHERS 12)

$5$5 CHICKEN FINGER BASKET & FRIES, CHICKEN FINGER BASKET & FRIES, $1$1 OFFOFF ALLALL ALCOHOL (3 - 8)(3 - 8) ALCOHOL 2-FOR-1 WELLS, DOMESTICS & SHOOTERS (8 - 10)(8 - 10) 2-FOR-1 WELLS, DOMESTICS & SHOOTERS $2 $2 CHAMPAGNE (7-11PM) CHAMPAGNE (7-11PM)

TUESDAY TUESDAY $10BURGER BURGER&&BOTTOMLESS BOTTOMLESS BEER, $10 BEER, OFFALL ALLALCOHOL ALCOHOL (3 $1$1OFF (3--8) 8) 2-FOR-1WELLS WELLS&&SHOOTERS SHOOTERS (8 2-FOR-1 (8--12) 12)

WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY 2-FOR-1APPETIZERS APPETIZERS&&$3 $3 WELL WELL WHISKEY, 2-FOR-1 WHISKEY, 1 OFFALL ALLOTHER OTHERALCOHOL ALCOHOL (3 $ 1$ OFF (3--8)8) $2 WELLS & $1 DRAFTS(8(8- 11:15) - 10) $2 WELLS & $1 DRAFTS

FRIDAY FRIDAY 2-FOR-1 SPICY CHICKEN 2-FOR-1 SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICHES, $1 OFF ALL ALL ALCOHOL (3 - 8)(3 - 8) SANDWICHES, $1 OFF ALCOHOL

SATURDAY SATURDAY HAPPY HOUR: $1 OFF ALL ALL ALCOHOL (3 - 8)(3 - 8) HAPPY HOUR: $1 OFF ALCOHOL

HAPPY HOUR - FRIDAY! - FRIDAY! HAPPYMONDAY HOUR MONDAY $2 DOMESTICS, $3 IMPORTS, $4 WELLS,$4$1WELLS, OFF TOP$1SHELF $2 DOMESTICS, $3 IMPORTS, OFF TOP SHELF MONDAY THURSDAYTHURSDAY MONDAY

$6 HALF$6 SLAB OF SLAB RIBS, OF RIBS, HALF $3 FIREBALL $3 FIREBALL

TUESDAY TUESDAY

HALF PRICE HALFQUESADILLAS, PRICE QUESADILLAS, $2 HOUSE $2WINE HOUSE WINE

WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY

2 SANDWICHES FOR $10,FOR $10, 2 SANDWICHES $3 WELL$3WHISKEY DRINKS DRINKS WELL WHISKEY

HALF PRICEHALF APPETIZERS UNTIL 7PM, UNTIL 7PM, PRICE APPETIZERS 2 FOR 1 WELLS FROM 7-10:30PM 2 FOR 1 WELLS FROM 7-10:30PM

FRIDAY

$8 BREW AND $8CUE BREW AND CUE (BBQ SANDWICH, BEER AND FRIES) (BBQ SANDWICH, BEER AND FRIES)

! ! S S L L E E B B E E R R GOGO