The Black Sheep FR
EE th ... li is ke iss th ue e , c mo an ne yo y h i u fin dde d ni it? n
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 6 10/18/12 - 10/24/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepUTK
The top ways to make sure you don’t look like a loser in between classes Katie Vaughn wrote this
It’s always awkward when you don’t have enough time to get home before your next class, and have to come up with things to do while not looking like a huge loser, and that shit gets complicated. There are only so many things can do until someone realizes you have no friends. If you’re one of those people that is already a recluse and only comes on campus to play Xbox 360 in Down Under, then this doesn’t apply to you. But if you’re everybody else, here are some ways you can attempt to convince people you really do have a social life, yet you’re comfortable enough to hang out by yourself before class. Eat at the UC: Eating alone isn’t that weird as long as you’re not trying to force a two-hour-lunch. Let’s be serious, eating really only takes twenty minutes. Not even. So in order to make it look like you left yourself just enough time to eat and get a few important things done, you need to bring your laptop. Just because you’re Facebook-creeping on already-pregnant high school classmates you’ll never talk to doesn’t mean the people around you have to know and, subsequently, judge you. You should probably put a few notebooks out on the table too just to add on the visual proof that you are, in fact, busy. On the flip side, if people figure you out it will be disastrous to your attempted non-loserdom. Chill in Starbucks: People hang out in Starbucks all the time, right? Partake in sophisticated conversation and engulfing yourself in the fabulous hipster environment. Why can’t you become one of those people? You sit yourself down in the ridiculously cold leather chair and whip out your laptop. You may have to cross your legs in the chair to create as much body warmth as possible, because for some reason even in the dead of winter they set the interior temperature to “cold as balls.” You should order something to make it look like you’re doing work - like getting coffee was a part of your scheduled, very busy, day. Hang out in the bookstore: When you have gone through every other means of entertainment, you’ve realized no one cares enough to text you back no matter how much you (didn’t) need to speak to them. So you go to the bookstore. You know full well that you’re not going to buy anything. You can’t afford to spend 50 dollars on a t-shirt - you’re going out this weekend, duh. So you meander around the sweatshirts and pick up a hat or two only to put them right back, but hey, you’re shopping - this was all a part of the plan. Hang a hammock in a tree in front of HSS: Yeah, don’t. Unless you have a good couple of hours to “hang around,” which, in that case,
The Top 10 Strategic Places to Poop On Campus bombs away!
page 7
you could have just gone home. But if you start hammocking, you will either fall into a nap coma and miss your next class, or you’ll spend too much time trying to find the right tree configuration, and end up not having time to enjoy said hammock. In the end, you’re usually better just exploring another option - like sleeping under someone’s hammock, freaking them out, and moving in. Call your Mom: This isn’t everyone’s first choice because you don’t feel like re-explaining what exam you just took, or what courses you’re taking again. And let’s face it, you can’t call your friends because they’re sleeping/in class/sleeping in class. No matter where you’re sitting, people notice that you’re on the phone and, un-
what’s inside
Bartender of the Week Wiley R. freakin’ hates Superman, man.
page 12
less they sat on top of you, they would never know you’re pathetic enough to call your mom to make it look like someone called in the middle of the day to have a conversation. The worst part is when your mom is too busy at work and has to run to a meeting and hangs up. When your mom cuts you off, then you have fallen very, very far down the social ladder. There’s basically nothing left for you to do but give up and just sit in the HSS amphitheater by yourself, contemplating your sad life. Unless you’re lucky enough to space out your classes and to go home to do nothing, these are the things you can do on campus while also do nothing. It’s a hard knock life.
Top Ten Moments That Make You Feel Like A Badass On Campus Like only almost tripping.
page 13
contents page 4: Conversations with the Shower
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 4
The sweet nothings you whisper to that warm stream of water.
page 5: From the streets
Table of
What do you think is the cause of Tennessee’s football woes?
page 6: The Black Sheep Guide to the Apocalypse: Election Edition
Read this and you won’t not vote for the wrong or right person to not run this country into the ground or to the top.
page 7: Safety First, Lady vols
Just remember the three B’s, ladies: Booze, Burritos, and B’weapons
page 6
now hiring!
Why wouldn't you want to work somewhere with unlimited koozies and a "pants are optional" policy?
Marketing, Sales, Promotions, Writing, Groupies, & More!
apply online at theblacksheeponline.com
page three p e e h S k c a l B e h T ile App
! k e e W e h t f o c i P
Mob
GAMES ING K IN R D | S PARTY PIC | S L IA C E BAR SP SCAN TO DOWNLOAD
THE iPHONE APP
SCAN TO DOWNLOAD
THE ANDROID APP
Sexy Anagrams
Moments later the walls dripped with blood as Zombie Steve cried a single tear of loneliness.
(Want to become famous next week? Awesome.)
Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
Eater Zilch Lean Pawn Um Horn
Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
last week’s answers Sarah Shahi & Common
word of the week
Guyser: The urine stream of a man who hasn’t used a restroom in over five hours.
“After downing that yardstick of beer, Rob’s guyser allowed him to pee into a urinal from the opposite side of the bathroom.”
page 4
theblacksheeponline.com
Conversations with the Shower Hannah Weyer wrote this
Nng. No. I do not want to wake up. Waking up is the worst. What time is it? 8 a.m,? No. The world does not exist before 10:30. Go away. Shut UP, alarm. No one asked you. I’ll kill you. Come on, just stop screeching. Don’t make me get up to turn you off, I’ll never get back to sleep if you make me move. Stop it. Stop it. Cut it out! FINE. You want me to turn you off, I’ll turn youCOLD! Holy crapballs, the floor is freezing! Where are my socks? The fuzzy pink ones? They’re over there? Are you serious? GAH, cold, cold, cold, cold, bam. Snooze button. Victory. Shit, where did this headache come from? I’m never gonna get back to sleep! I hate you, alcohol! Oh, half-empty bottle of rum, I love you. Never leave me. Is the roommate already gone? But the world hasn’t started existing yet. Beyond that door lies the Void. She is beyond reach now. I hope she took the trash with her. May as well get ready now. CHRIST ON A CRACKER it’s cold! Did roommate seriously leave the window open last night? I knew it, she’s trying to kill me. She will suffer my passive-aggressive retribution, mark my words. Why can’t I take a shower in my pajamas? It’s too cold to get naked SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THAT IS NICE. Shower, dear, is it hot in here, or is it just you? How are you making the magical ceiling water so warm? Wait, can you do hotter? Ooh! That is hot! Okay, too hot. Too hot! TOO HOT! Ahhh. Perfect.
Oh, Shower. Oh, I’ve missed your sweet embrace. Let’s just enjoy the moment. Shhh. Don’t say anything, Shower. I know. I understand you, and I know we’ve only been together for a month and a half, but I feel like you get me too. It’s funny, Shower. I never used to believe in true love before, but now… I… My hair. I have to shampoo. It was nothing, I was just thinking out loud! Here, move down. That way I can wash my hair without getting cold. Aw, hell, let’s turn up the heat! YOLO! Sweet peaches and cream, it’s like millions of tiny demons flaying my skin. I love it.
you! Come on, let me go, you big silly goose. I’ll be back tonight, I promise! Ooh, I don’t wanna see you go either! Well… I guess I have time to shave my legs again. Man, I am going to have to run to class, aren’t I? Ooh, hotter! Perfect!
CRAP! Is that my alarm? I forgot, I left the snooze on! Oh my God, that’s annoying! I’ll be right back, hang on. No, I’m just going to turn off the alarm. What? No, of course there isn’t another shower, you’re the only shower in my life! That’s why I gave you the loofah! Please stop crying, Shower. No, I’m sorry. Shhh. Of course I’m not mad, why would I be mad at you? You’re perfect and warm and wonderful… you’re right, I don’t need to turn off the alarm. It’s not that annoying. Let’s just stay here. I mean it. The alarm isn’t important. You are. I love you too, Shower. I love you too.
Shhh! Do you hear that? Is that… is that the “oh shit” alarm? 9:00, how is it 9:00? Shit, I’m late for class! No, I’m serious, Shower, let me go! Yes, I do have to get to class, I can’t skip again! I have to be a good student! No, don’t touch me, let me go! Let me go! Of course I can still make it, just let me get dressed! They will not all look at me funny, everyone is late sometimes. I’m gonna count to three, then you have to let me go to class. One… two…
Smell this conditioner, Shower! It’s like strawberries! I’m so glad that we have each other. You complete me. Man, I don’t want to leave! I want to stay with you where it’s safe and warm! Out there is so cold and dry, it’s like it doesn’t even care about me. But you care. You care about my comfort. You’re the best. But seriously, I do have to go to class. Yes, I do. Haha, yes. No, you’re silly! No,
Fine. You win. What’s one more skipped class, anyway? As long as I have you, it doesn’t matter. Right? Wait, what’s wrong? No, hot. Hotter, Shower, what are you doing? Are you okay? What are… what are you doing? No! No, it’s chilly! Hotter, Shower, hotter! GAH! YOU BASTARD! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! I am betrayed! Et tu, Shower? Et tu? I’ll see you tonight, you son of a bitch.
ALTER EGO TATTOO & BODY PIERCING
7212 Kingston PK 865-300-0006
Fine Line Traditional Color Bomb Black & Grey Custom Work Photo Realistic Tribal
Mon.-Sat. 12:00 - 12:00 Sun. 12:00 - 8:00
Private Booths Auto Clave Sterile State Licensed Health Dept. Approved
“We’ll Get Under Your Skin”
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What do you think is the cause of Tennessee’s football woes? “We lack a big, strong D.” - Terry “The Bear” J., Senior
“Obviously, Dooley’s pants aren’t orange enough.” - Shannon F., Senior
“I’m just looking forward to basketball season at this point.” - Sarah M., Senior
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)
page 6
theblacksheeponline.com
The Black Sheep Guide to the Apocalypse: Election Edition Phil McCracken wrote this November 6th marks the 57th Presidential Election in the United States of America. It’s hard to get a consensus from Americans on who should govern the greatest country in the world for the next four years, but one thing everyone can agree on is that if the WRONG/ RIGHT man is elected, it’s the end of the world. We are incredibly smart people at The Black Sheep, yes. But with great smart comes great responsibility. We can’t tell you who to vote for, but we CAN tell you what will happen if you let the wrong person into the White House: the end times. If the wrong man gets into the White House this year, you can count on rampant baby killing/ mandatory ovary surrender for all Americans, and every Sunday will be spent in state-sanctioned church/burning all Christian institutions to the ground. Obviously, we can’t let this happen. But what can we do? PREPARATION: Register to vote. In the battle against the homophobic/successaphobic monster, the only bullet the not-wrong candidate has is your vote. If you don’t register or you think your candidate has it in the bag/isn’t that great anyway, you may as well give a vote over to the other guy, and we all know where that leads: China collecting their debt by selling your sister as a sex slave to Russia; the government placing all gays, women, Muslims, Jews, atheists, Mexicans and poor people in internment camps. Register, yes, but remember to prepare for the worst: stock up on birth control, soap, booze, Korans, porn, freedom; guns, Bibles, straight sex, soda, crucifixes and freedom, just in case. Also toilet paper. You’re really going to want toilet paper when the government/world collapses.
THE BATTLE: You are only one voter in a country with around 150 million other voters. That can be disheartening. But do not let your heart be troubled, little hobbit. There are many ways to make sure your vote counts! For example, the night of November 5th, go to every Republican/Democrat house you know and nail the doors shut so they can’t get out to vote for the antichrist/antimuhammad. You could steal the identity of every American that’s ever died and vote a billion times in a row. You could volunteer as a campaign intern for the wrong guy and act like a complete idiot on TV, just to screw up Romney/Obama fans. The possibilities are as endless as your willingness to steal other people’s ideas. Whatever you do will be totally justified as long as it helps prevent the war on women/the war on Jesus. THE AFTERMATH: If the wrong man gets elected President of the United States, you may as well move to Canada/your summer home in the Cayman Islands. That’s just all progress toward equal rights/a balanced federal budget gone straight to Hell/ whatever secret hippie Muslims believe is the opposite of secret hippie Muslim heaven. Say goodbye to condoms and healthcare/Christmas and small businesses, and hello to 1950s era civil rights/a thousand years of darkness as promised by Chuck Norris himself. If the wrong man gets elected it’s possible - nay, likely - that he will personally end your way of life with his stash of guns/telekinesis. If you feel at all threatened, you must disguise yourself as a homeless minority on welfare/WASP for the next four years to avoid persecution.
The stakes are incredibly high this election. We can no longer stand idly by as politicians threaten to plunge us into another bloody war/ kill all our fetuses. It’s our duty as Republicans/Democrats - nay, as Americans - to keep the wrong man out of our pockets/uteruses and make sure this powerful/peace-loving nation is in a fit condition to pass on to our children/grandparents on Medicare/Oh my God you did not go there/Oh, like you’re any better, manipulating everyone with your children talk/Well, we won’t have any left if your kind keeps aborting/And we won’t have any grandparents left if your guy’s economic plan goes through/His economic plan is sensible and I’m sick of paying for lazy assholes like you to go to the doctor/Real nice, and I guess you’re sick of paying for schools in struggling areas too/The MARKET will speak for the distribution of federal funds/America is not a business you goddamn idiot/ Maybe it would be in better shape right now if we ran it like one, you socialist prick/I’ll kill your face/I’ll kill your religion/I’ll kill your baby/I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, OBAMA IS A BABY KILLER/ROMNEY HATES POOR PEOPLE/It is so on, baby-killer/See you at the polls, homophobe/ I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?
The Top 10
Strategic Places to poop on Campus Nearly every student has experienced the stressful feeling of needing to relieve your bowels in a public restroom (except females, because girls haven’t had the biological capability of pooping since the dawn of time).
Safety First, Lady vols
TBS STAFF wrote this
Halloween is coming up fast! Now, we know since we’re all finally grown ups, there’s a lot of temptation to go out and have the night of Halloween debauchery you always dreamed of. Whether you’re debauching your liver, leaving a flaming bag of debauchery on somebody’s porch, or debauching somebody’s eyes out ‘cause they looked at you funny, there’s a lot of potential for things to go wrong. Especially when you’re a young woman. Now, we may not be completely “in-touch” to all your womanly needs, but this is an important subject, so we’ll try to put ourselves in your shoes for the sake of safety. Every night out starts by getting dressed and ready. Let’s say it normally takes you ten minutes to get dressed and ready. Heck, we’ll be generous and say fifteen. On Halloween weekend, you should double that time. “Thirty minutes just to get ready?” you say into this newspaper like a weirdo, “that’s ridiculous!” Stick with us, it’ll make sense. On top of the things you usually probably do, like lotioning up your boobs or whatever, you’re going to want to bring some protection. Strap yourself with as many weapons as you can. Tuck a little can of pepper spray into your boots. Strap a nightstick to your thigh. Stuff a shotgun into your giant sorority totebag (a handful of handguns will work in a pinch). Don’t forget to think up cool things to say in case you have to defend yourself, like “Oh, I’ll blow you… AWAY… with this shotgun… in your face… asshole!” Probably should cut it off sooner, but it’s a good start. So you’re armed to the teeth and walking to the party, but another danger is all around you - the frigid fall air. Hypothermia causes more deaths per year than pigs, acorn poisoning, and abandonment in outer space COMBINED. Don’t be one of those girls who risk their life just for the sake of lookin’ hot. There are plenty of hot costumes that don’t leave your skin exposed. Like… a sexy burrito, maybe? Hey, don’t knock it, I guarantee every guy on campus has at some point been drunk and hungry enough to think, “oh man, this burrito looks so good, I almost wanna stick my dick in it.” YOU could BE the burrito that strangers almost want to stick their dick into. Shoot for the stars, girl. Once you get to the party you’re going to be tempted by all those super cute boyz. But be careful! In the words of my old Aunt Roxy, “Boys want nothing more than to use you for sex, get you pregnant, and then dump you down the well so he inherits your fortune through your bastard child.” Ain’t that the truth. So STAY AWAY from them! Hook-ups usually happen after midnight, so protect yourself with God’s own sleep timer: alcohol. Just drink as much as you can, as fast as you can, and you’ll be fast asleep before you can do any wrong. Okay, don’t freak, waking up in a field is a rite of passage as sacred as a first divorce. Chances are you lost your purse and phone, and your friends flipped and told your parents you’re missing and probably dead. Hey, I said don’t freak! Jeez! Getting home is easy if you paid attention in school. Remember, the sun rises in the... the, uhhh... fuucckkk. Alright, plan B. In this one episode of Man vs. Wild, they explained how animal waste is a great way to stay energized and hydrated in a pinch. Oh, excuse us, we didn’t realize we were dealing with Ms. Prima-Donna “I’m not eating shit, I’m like two miles from campus.” Oh, how about that, you had your phone the whole time. You think Jimmy John’s delivers this far? We’d love something to wash down all that horse piss. We know you’re thinking, “I don’t need safety advice. I already stapled my vagina shut and coated my neck with Tabasco, I’ll be fine.” Yeah, that’s what my friend Amanda said, and three hours later she was dead from acorn poisoning. Now she’s just another statistic. Always play it safe, and remember the three B’s: Booze, burrito, and b’weapons.
Knowing the sweet spots to crap on campus is vital if you want to live a life free of feces-shame and poobarrassment, because that shit stays with you forever. Lighting is optional. Seclusion is key. Toilet paper is desirable. 10.) Estabrook Confessional: Detecting the restrooms here is quite a challenge; you may need to bring some sort of light source. So many random turns and corners, completely separating the sexes by miles - the search for this creepy bathroom leaves one expecting to run into Moaning Myrtle. Worth it. 9.) 1st Floor Map Room Lavatory: The echoing silence is deadly. Know this before venturing this secluded way, because you don’t want to add more geography to the maps if someone were to suddenly spook you. Use Google Maps to find your way there (Apple Maps may direct you to the ground floor of the White House). 8.) 2nd Floor AMB Commodes: The lighting really sets the mood here. The darkness combines with the cold to produce an effect similar to that of a mortuary. This is the acceptable alternative for those wanting to run over to the body farm to take a deuce – got to respect the dead, pour your beer out instead. 7.) Media Center/Starbucks Potty: People will wait in line for far too long in the main hallway. Like, are you supposed to make small talk in that line? I don’t like to order my café mocha with an extra shot of awkward, so it’s always appealing to shuffle towards the Media Center, take a sharp left and immediate right into the hidden porcelains that offer such comforting isolation. 6.) UTPD Car Pound: Did you know there is one? You’ll have plenty of options here, and a line is doubtful. Being personally victimized can make one need to release a load. Caution: this location is only for the brave, and is not encouraged for those who take more than a 30 second scheisse. 5.) 1st Floor AMB Commodes: This area has the most potential for an epic shit. The choirs are usually practicing in the early afternoon, giving your life that sort of movie-feel with a powerful soundtrack. If it’s not the choirs, it’s opera students or cellists that grace your defecating process with dignity. 4.) Greenhouse A Latrine: A favorite amongst the more “natural” students. Why not fertilize for the good of the university? Any location on the Ag campus will appreciate it. 3.) In Front of That Random Boarded Up House: No one likes to beat a dead horse, but we can lead that horse to drink from their ass, followed by a proper shitting on the lawn. (Too soon? So two weeks ago?) 2.) UC Third Floor Privates: If you arrive at a time when all the Beliebers aren’t in line for the salad bar, the restrooms in this area are rather safe. However, the gem of this floor is in the small computer lab. There is a single restroom with a door lock. Get your fix of shitting with solitaire in solitude. 1.) Hodges Quality Time: Having the most scenic view available, the roof of the library is the best place to poop in peace. The library already produces a love-hate relationship, and most typically shit on the things they love, anyway. Think of how nice it will be to use your fancy new iPhone capability, taking sweet sunset panoramic shots of campus while shaking your ass to the wind.
Mary Moss wrote this
If you don’t start following us...
YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT’S SO DAMN FUNNY.
@BLACKSHEEPUTK
The Grid
Scan to go right to the page!
SUNDAY! NFL Sunday Ticket!
FREE BEER! $5 Liquor Pitcher ($3 Add Another Shot) $3 Wells, $3 Apple Pie Moonshine, $3 24oz Natty & Keystone $2 PBR & Highlife Tallboys
BEAT BAMA!
SOUTHBOUND Total Request DJ Dance Party
NV Top 40 Dance Party 21 and up
Karaoke! $5 Liquor Pitchers ($3 Add Another Shot) $4 32oz Drafts, $4 Fireball Shots $3 Wells, $3 24oz Natty & Keystone $2 PBR & Highlife Tallboys
Check out CarleoEntertainment.com for Upcoming Events!
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
SPECIAL NIGHT
NV College Night! 18 and up $2 Domestics and $4 Shooters Until Midnight
THURS 10/18
$2.50 blue moon drafts
SOUTHBOUND Total Request DJ Dance Party 21 and up
FRI 10/19
$6 Buzzballs, $5 Pitchers of Beer, $4 Soco & Lime $3 Wells, $2 Bud Light & Miller Lite Bottles $1 Shooter Girl Shots
Concrete Jumpsuit with The Whiskey Sessions Live at 10PM!
SAT 10/20
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
Copper Possum Live at 10PM! Football on Big Screens All Day!
SUN 10/21
$2 Domestic Bottles
SOUTHBOUND College Night! $2 Domestics & $4 Wells Until Midnight | 21 and up
Lefty Williams Band at 10PM Half-Off Bottles of Wine until 10pm
Swing Booty at 10PM! Free Pool All Day
MON 10/22
FRIDAY! FREE BEER! $5 Liquor Pitcher ($3 Add Another Shot) $3 Wells, $3 Apple Pie Moonshine, $3 24oz Natty & Keystone $2 PBR & Highlife Tallboys
Jordan Burris at 10PM! Half Price Pint Night
NFL MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL $5.50 Domestic Pitchers $0.50 Wings, Pitchers and Happy Hour Wells All Day
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
TUES 10/23
FRIDAY: NV College Night! 18 and up | $2 Domestics and $4 Shooters Until Midnight
Banditos with Ian Thomas Half Price Pint Night
Trivia! $2 Domestic Drafts
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
WED 10/24
WEDNESDAY: Carleo’s Winedown Wednesday! $2 Glasses of Wine
Friday: Concrete Jumpsuit with The Whiskey Sessions Live at 10PM!
Live Team Trivia at 8PM
$1.50 PBR Tall Boys
Carleo’s Winedown Wednesday! $2 Glasses of Wine
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
$2 Domestic Bottles and Drafts, $5.50 Pitchers and Happy Hour Wells All Day. $0.50 Wings, $3.99 Cheeseburgers and Fries
NFL Sunday Ticket!
$2 Domestic Bottles and Drafts, $5.50 Pitchers and Happy Hour Wells All Day. $0.50 Wings, $3.99 Cheeseburgers and Fries
now hiring! Marketing, Sales, Promotions, Writing, Groupies, & More! line
Apply On
200 Lowwood Drive | woodmeadesouth.com | (865) 573-8884
theblacksheeponline.com
Thursday: Large 3 Topping Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
WEDNESDAY: Half Price Bottles of Wine All Day Until 10 pm
SATURDAY!
Birdwing, Guerrilla Suns, and Centric 10pm Drink Specials!
Large 3 Topping Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Half Off Drafts after 9pm
Dave Kennedy and Andy Wood, Ted Russell Kamp, and Concrete Jumpsuit 9pm $1.50 Yuengling Cans Drink Specials!
Large Supreme or Veggie Supreme Pizza $14.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Dave Kennedy Performing Live at 10pm Try any of our 30 craft beers on tap!
Drunken Prayer, Sam Williams Orchestra and CrumbSnatchers 10pm Drink Specials!
Large Meatzaria or Veggie Pizza $12.99 + Tax
Come in and watch the game on our big screens!
Birdwing, Guerrilla Suns, and Centric 10pm Drink Specials!
Large 2 Topping Pizza $10.99 + Tax
Triva Starts at 8pm Brunch 10:30am - 3pm
Large 1 Topping Pizza + Breadsticks $10.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Last Monday of Every Month: 5 Course Beer Dinner
ns Spacious 1 & 2 Bedroom Floor Pla Private Patios & Balconies Wood Burning Fireplaces Walk-in Closets Washer & Dryer Connections
Two Pools Health & Fitness Center Additional Storage Available 24- Hour Emergency Maintenance We’re Pet Friendly!
Half Price Food Drink Specials!
thewellknoxville.com for full calendar listings Open Mic Comedy 10pm FREE! Free Queso or Salsa with a tab! Drink Specials!
Large Windy City Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
$2 Drafts
The Villains with The Last Crusade and Arliss Nancy 9pm DRINK SPECIALS
Any Medium Pizza $10.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Half Price Bottles of Wine All Day Until 10PM
The Figgs with Mic Harrison and the High Score 9pm Drink Specials!
NTOWN! W O D D N A T U M O FR S 5 MINUTE
APARTMENTS ! 0 2 6 $ T A G N I START SCAN THE QR CODE OR TEXT SCENIC TO 65374 FOR MORE INFO!
5 horrors of Higher Academia that Will Probably definitely Happen on your Campus, Too Penn State: Betsy Aardsma
University of Georgia:
Anna Hamilton/Susie Caruthers
The Facts: Young Betsy was a regular young English major, and like any young English major she was spending a late night in the stacks, researching an upcoming paper. Innocently using the stacks the way they’re supposed to be used (not getting high in, or having sex, you sickos) she was stabbed through the heart by two men – who have yet to be found to this day. The Legend: The aisle where Betsy was stabbed is still in use today. Amongst recordings and strange reports coming out of current students, there was one student who had been researching books in the same aisle, and later woke up to a strong sensation of being strangled – whether he was just hiding his autoerotic asphyxiation habit or not is up to you. The Fear: Every campus has an old library that for some ungodly reason still keeps Japanese criticisms of Dutch interpretations of Moby Dick around – it’s the never-ending labyrinth higher education. Since the Internet can’t always provide you with
streamlined porn and Moby Dick interpretations, you have your lug your ass to the library stacks. Alone and confused in the dark, you are extremely susceptible to being stabbed and left for dead, as the rickety librarian leads EMTs to the spot she thinks you might be. There aren’t cameras, and no one knows you’re there… better prepare to make it your place of eternal agitation.
Illinois Central College: Crampton Hall The Facts: A university resident hall, Crampton Hall, was built in 1873 - a cursed year that saw Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis receive a patent for using copper rivets to reinforce work pants. Built to house 69 men, this dormitory has a history of men being trapped in closets. This should surprise no one. The Legend: Two reports of similar tales occurring on different dates exist. In one, a young man is found dead in his closet, hanged in such a way that he could not have done it himself. The other tale has several men pre-gaming in a dorm room. When the bros finally decide to roll out to find some hoes, they call on another
bro. Entering his room, the find him tied up in a closet, upside down, naked, and incoherent. The Fear: Closets are necessary for any modern man or woman. Without them, clothing would be strewn willy-nilly across a room that’s already breathtakingly small. They’re a necessary evil—housing everything from t-shirts earned through intramural sport to t-shirts received by signing up for various campus clubs. Closets aren’t going anywhere. Hell, there’s probably a closet in whatever room you’re reading this in right now, dear reader. If you’re lucky, there’s even a naked dude in it.
California State University Channel Islands The Facts: Opened in 2002, Cal State Channel Islands is housed in a series of buildings previously known as Camarillo State Mental Hospital—an insane asylum. This seemed like a good idea to someone somewhere who had never seen a scary movie in his life. The Legend: A variety of ghostly occurrences have happened on the campus, from ghosts dancing in the light only to disappear, to ghosts of the crazy and the dead wandering the grounds. Basically, a lot of ghosts doing scary stuff in a scary place. Also, the cafeteria food at this place is supposed to be pretty sub-par. Stay away from the Italian Veggie soup, it’s definitely not made from scratch. The Fear: What’s the point of even eating soup if it’s coming out of a big plasti—Oh, the ghost stuff. Well, what’s terrifying about that is, we can’t prove whether or not ghosts exist; so even
The Facts: Two ghosts are known to haunt different sorority houses on the University of Georgia campus. First is Anna Hamilton, who witnessed her boyfriend get murdered, then buried under the steps of the Phi Mu house. Then, at the Alpha Gamma Delta house, one Susie Caruthers hung herself in the attic after being stood up on her wedding day. The Legend: Girls have reported being able to communicate with Anna, and many hear her crying in empty rooms of the house or at the top of the stairs. Susie’s ghost is a little more active, as she glares at people through the attic’s windows, walks around the attic, moves furniture around, and turns lights on and off – typical ghost stuff. The Fear: Who knows what history the building you live in holds. You moved in at the beginning of the year - but think of all the prior occupants, all the creepy energies that have moved in and out, slept where you sleep, hung themselves in the closet you drunkenly peed in last weekend. Ignorance is bliss, sure, but maybe you should think about why all your drawers got pulled out, instead of blaming your drunken self. Maybe you should think twice next time you privately masturbate on Sunday mornings – someone could be watching.
Manhattanville College: Marissa Pagli The Facts: Marissa Pagli was killed in 2010 by her own mother after a domestic argument in the staff housing apartment they shared on campus. Marissa’s mother stated she killed her daughter because Marissa was “disrespectful all the time.” Remember kids, bitches be crazy. The Legend: Other than the mother’s vague reasoning, there’s no real rhyme or reason to this murder. A note that explains the motive has not been released to the public, and the family’s life was seen as stable prior to the murder. Out loud this time, class: bitches be crazy.
though the idea of one is kind of stupid, someone could just go and be all, “But you can’t prove they don’t exist!” and they’d be right about that, giving them some sense of self-satisfaction even though they haven’t proven their crackpot conspiracy theory, and the look of smugness that will inevitably creep across their face is just the worst.
The Fear: It’s a cold, dark night at State University and you’re in your room alone when someone knocks. You quickly minimize the pornography on your computer screen and tiptoe to the door. A sense of dread washes over you as you whisper “Who is it?” hoping desperately that only silence comes from the other side. Then it happens, a response: “It’s… your mother.” Slowly, you begin to realize that you’re in college and you’re living with your parents. If that doesn’t make you want to die, nothing will.
the interview
owen
Owen is the solo project of Chicago-based Mike Kinsella. Known for his soft melodies and complex acoustics, Kinsella is an influential force in the indie scene. His most recent album, Ghost Town, can be downloaded on iTunes or streamed at polyvinylrecords.com. Otherwise, catch him touring the east coast October through December. (Catch him on twitter @mybandOwen) By: Quinn The Black Sheep: Your first few bands were with your family - a couple with your brother and cousin, what started that? Did you guys start playing when you were little kids? Owen: Oh yeah, my brother is a couple of years older and he started a high school band that practiced in our basement. I would sit upstairs, pick up a guitar and try to play along. Then eventually they realized I could play all their songs, so I joined as second guitar... and then they were the only people I played for the first five years of my career. TBS: You eventually had to take over, because you’re pretty damn good at guitar. Owen: The other guy is actually way better at guitar than I am - Victor Villarreal, and he’s played in multiple bands as well - he’s pretty fantastic. TBS: But you’ve got some pretty intricate guitar tabs and lyrics one must pay attention to, does that call for a more intimate crowd? Do you ever get frustrated with bigger crowds? Owen: Yeah, [laughs] I shouldn’t say this, but it used to bum me out, like depress me. Every so often I’d get crabby and make an asshole remark on stage or something. But I’ll just play my songs for the people trying to pay attention - so I play the best I can for them. TBS: So you’ve moved from recording in a studio, to recording at home, and back to the studio. What did you like about recording at home? Owen: I wanted to learn how to do it, first of all. I think it helped me understand, helped me write songs - to understand the process of recording them. Like putting different layers on top of things, the capabilities of cutting and pasting and looping. But eventually I got too stagnant, and I never got too good at it, so I thought I should probably just pay the professionals. I spent too much time setting up mics and looking for the sound I heard in my head. Someone who knows what they’re doing could do it in their first try. TBS: Are there any songs that work a lot in the studio, but don’t transfer to the live show? Owen: Oh yeah, I mean most of them [laughs], it’s kind of a joke and kind of not - there are a bunch of songs that I never bothered learning after they went on the album, because halfway through the song another guitar or something comes in that completely changes the song - so if we did that live there’s no effect - it’s either not going to be there or not be the same effect. TBS: I saw that you played at Heads And Threads? (Ed. Note: Heads and Threads is a shoddy wig shop in Chicago.) Owen: Oh yeah. TBS: What was that? That is insane. Owen: We were just looking for random places that would make for an interesting setting, and we walked by and saw the heads in there. My buddy went in and asked if it was okay - there were a couple old Asian ladies and they’re like yeah, that’s fine... So I played basically to them, whoever else walked into the store, and a bunch of fake heads. TBS: For your most recent album, Ghost Town, you were married and had just become a father, did that affect the album at all? Owen: Definitely changed the content of the lyrics - instead of talking about failed relationships and pining over girls - it’s more about being in a relationship, and the good things and struggles with that. Having a kid is a total mindfuck, like, a lot of my stuff is faith-based: me struggling with not having a faith, but wanting to have one. You want there to be an afterlife and a purpose to all this, so it definitely changes the content. Like my daughter is going to a Catholic preschool, so she’ll come home and ask things like “Can we sing songs about the father?” She doesn’t really know what that means, so it’s kind of funny. TBS: You’re pretty active on Twitter. How has that changed your relationship with the fans? Owen: I like Twitter; my Facebook page isn’t really me, but my Twitter is. There are some days where I don’t really post anything, then I’ll have a couple beers, watch a movie, and post like a hundred things. It can be a very personal thing, nothing bums me out more than when I follow someone I think highly of, and all they do is try to sell you stuff or promote stuff… And I’ll post when I have a show in different places, but I don’t want to bombard people with that administrative stuff. TBS: So where can people buy shirts and records and stuff? Owen: You can pretty much find everything at polyvinylrecords.com!
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
it’s always sunny in philadelphia thursday, october 18 at 10pm on fx
Season 8’s second episode features Frank (Danny DeVito) concocting a plan to undercut Philly’s tough garbage men’s union so he can get the contract to collect the city’s trash. This may be a worse get-rich-quick scheme than the kitten mittens in season 5, but we’re damn excited to see how it’s not going to work out.
paranormal activity 4 in theaters october 19
The 4th installment of the popular film franchise follows a teenage narrator Alice (Kathryn Newton) and her family. They get some mad creeps when Katie and Hunter (of PA: 2 fame) move in next door. When creepy Katie goes to the hospital, Alice’s mother takes Hunter into the house, where shit predictably goes down in a terrifying way.
Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, M.a.a.d. City in stores october 23
Compton-raised Kendrick Lamar may have a slew of wellreceived mixtapes and EPs under his belt, but his first major label record is the icing on the cake for the up-and-coming hip-hop artist. Collaborating with industry legends like Pharrell and Dr. Dre, Lamar’s much-anticipated album will discuss his life in the infamous city of Compton. Did you know a crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube lives there?
page 12
theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week Wiley R. Yacht Club Relationship Status: Single
Best tailgate beer: Bud Light
Major: Ecology with an interest in Revolutionary Biology
Best part of bartending: Meeting people and the openness of the characters who come into a bar.
Best drunken munchie food: Really cheap hotdogs.
Dream job: RPG/open world game producer.
Favorite show: Archer
Pet peeve: someone who’s judgmental.
Best hangover cure: Zofran
Worst night to bartend: It’s always fun to bartend!
If you could be any superhero, who would it be: I don’t like superheroes.
Favorite sport: Football
Favorite video game: Dark Souls
Favorite pick-up line: “What’s up sugar titz?”
Favorite book: Guns, Germs, and Steel
Best liquor to shoot: Fireball
Favorite drinking game: Any drinking game with a movie involved.
Signature drink: White Russians
the drinking game
BAC - Tosh.08 Comedy Central has a tendency to play day-long marathons of reruns before getting to the shows people actually want to watch (South Park). If you’re lucky, you’ll turn on Comedy Central to find a run of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Futurama episodes. However, if you’re not so lucky you will be forced to watch a marathon of a naked Daniel Tosh making tasteless dick jokes. Doesn’t he know that’s our job? What You’ll Need: Cans of beer or mixed drinks, whatever you so desire. Number of Players: As many people you can find that like drinking and internet videos. Level of Intoxication: If you follow all of the rules than you should be as drunk as the average idiot in most internet videos. How to Play: Take one drink when: -Somebody hurts themselves in a video. -Something is blurred/bleeped out. -Tosh makes a self-deprecating joke. Take two drinks when: -Tosh makes a racist joke. -Tosh hints at his homosexuality.
Take three drinks when: -Tosh says, “And for that, we thank you.” -Somebody in a video is speaking Russian. -Somebody in a video is clearly almost killed. Finish your drink when: -Tosh is fully nude. -Tosh’s “20 Seconds on the Clock” actually lasts more than 20 seconds. -The word “Reddit” is spoken.
The Game Ends When: Karmic justice comes around and he’s decapitated by Islamic fundamentalists on video.
download our app for all of our drinking games!
Recipe for Disaster
Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies This is one that you’ll want to share with friends, but if you have no friends, you can still put yourself up to the challenge. That challenge being a competition between your arteries and your colon to see which one can get clogged first. What You’ll Need: ¾ cups flour, ½ teaspoon baking soda, ¾ teaspoon baking powder, ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons butter, ½ cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar, ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, ½ cup chocolate (dark, for you wild and crazy types) morsels, 8 slices of crispy bacon Cook Time: Approximately 35 minutes. Fatty Factor: Didn’t you read the intro, fatty? Let’s Get Baked: - Toss the flour, baking soda, and powder into a bowl. - Whip that butter and sugar good until you get a nice, fluff-like concoction. Add an egg for good measure and go all Devo on it. Give that vanilla some love too. - Your flour/baking soda/powder mix is feeling lonely. Toss it in with the wet stuff. - Douse that sucker generously with chocolate and bacon (make this phrase a part of everyday life). - Let this all sit in the fridge for a day. - Preheat your oven and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. - Scoop your mix and cup some balls. - Bake ‘em to your perfection for around 20 minutes, and let them cool before devouring. It’ll take a few minutes for the stroke to kick in but when it does, just ride out the storm.
Hungry for More? theblacksheeponline.com
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
Top Ten moments That Make You Feel Like a Badass on Campus
page 13
Emily Hagenburger wrote this
We’ve all had those moments where something happens and you’re like “Damn, I hope somebody realized how cool that just was.” This is a compilation of ten little things that can happen throughout your day. Hopefully everyone is watching you, and everyone is acknowledging how chill and cool you are.
avoids eye contact with the teacher, and the “Oh please God not me” look is obvious on all the students’ faces. This makes it all the better when you are called on, and you confidently give the answer, leaving you to feel like a god for a minute. Or at least like you might actually pass this class.
10.) When you only almost trip: Literally everybody has done this one, especially with the cruel sidewalks on campus with all their deviously placed cracks and crevices. However, it’s when you pull a smooth Jackie Chan-like move to keep you from falling on your face that you up your badass level, gaining respect from all the people around you.
6.) When you get somewhere before the rush: It’s such a great feeling when you’re sitting somewhere, already eating your food after no wait, and you see innumerable students lining up to enjoy what you’ve already received. This is especially great at places like Field of Greens when you arrive at 12:05 to no wait, and all those suckers lining up at 12:15 have to wait a half hour. Just sit back and enjoy the taste of sweet, sweet superiority.
9.) When you parallel park like a boss: Sometimes, especially around the Fort, it is necessary to pull a really tight parallel parking move. You also often have an audience watching you try this near-impossible task, so they can have someone to make fun of. Sometimes it takes you 30 tries to get your SUV into that tiny spot, but every once in a while you whip around next to the curb and park like a BOSS. And then you wish you had a leather jacket on and dark sunglasses to dramatically take off as your audience cheers. 8.) When you lead people across the crosswalk: You’re waiting for that red hand to turn into a little white person when you realize that no cars are coming either way, and it’s safe to cross. As soon as your foot leaves the sidewalk, you realize everybody else is following you. You are their leader. You have the power. And you like it. 7.) When your professor calls on you and you actually know the answer: Everybody hates when their professor decides to call people out at random and expect them to give a decent answer. Everyone
5.) When you’re the first to finish an exam or quiz: When you’re the first to stand up and hand in a quiz, it makes you feel awesome. Like everybody else is looking at you with jealousy because you get to leave the torture chamber and go into the light. Especially if the reason you’re done so quickly is because you actually knew the answers instead of just choosing all C’s. 4.) When a large group of people moves to let you pass: You’re on Ped Walkway and there’s a group of friends talking, but you know that the fastest way from point A to point B is a straight line, so you don’t want to swerve around them. You keep to your path to class and they all just make way to let you pass. And you walk right on through, feelin’ like a badass. Out of the way, simpletons! 3.) Walking over the Seal when there’s a tour group: If you ever pass by a group of prospective students getting that “Walking Across
Download Our App!
iPhone
Android
For iPhone and Android Search Black Sheep Mobile
the Seal is bad luck” bit from their tour guide, there’s nothing better than walking right across that Seal like you do not give one single shit. The tour guide’s faces are priceless. 2.) When somebody at Starbucks doesn’t claim their coffee and you get a free one: If this has happened to you, you know it’s like receiving manna from Heaven. You’re studying in the library, in desperate need of some caffeine, but don’t want to spend five bucks on a grande mocha latte. And then, by some grace of God, some fool doesn’t respond to “Michael? Is there a Michael here?” and you suddenly find yourself the lucky owner of one grande mocha latte, free of charge. Win. Good job, Michael. 1.) When you get the last empty computer or table in the library: There are those times where you really, really need to study, yet it seems like everybody and their brother has decided to go to the library. Suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a table or computer that has somehow been overlooked. You snatch it right from under some unsuspecting sucker’s nose. And then you happily get to studying. Or Facebooking.
the quiz: what kind of trick-or-treater were you?
9-14 Points: The Kid Who Didn’t Dress Up
Every October 31st, people, normally kids, dress up and walk around collecting candy from strangers and neighbors because, well, America rules. But not every punk-ass kitty or pro-basketball player always played nice. Take our quiz to find out what kind of kid you were when you trick or treated back in the day.
8) Did you ever trade your candy? a) Not really. b) I always talked kids into giving me their Snickers for a stupid Tootsie Roll. c) Oh yeah! That was half the fun at the end of the night!
6) What did you use to collect your candy? a) The biggest pillowcase I could find! b) Eh, my pockets and… stuff. c) This lame bag my mom sewed for me.
9) On November 1st you see an elderly man cleaning up toilet paper in his lawn. How do you respond? a) I totally help to clean up. b) It’s not my problem, so I don’t care. c) I just giggle.
7) a=3, b=1, c=2 8) a=1, b=2, c=3
9) a=3, b=1, c=2
answer key
5) Who would you go trick-ortreating with? a) Just a few trustworthy friends... b) All sorts of kids from my group of friends and the neighborhood. c) A bunch of lame neighborhood kids.
5) a=2, b=3, c=1 6) a=3, b=2, c=1
3) What was your go-to last minute costume as a child? a) I’d just throw on a mask. b) A sports fan. c) I was always prepared and I never had some half-assed costume.
7) How would you respond to the old lady who handed out nickels? a) Aww, I thought it was still so sweet of her. b) I was like, “Whatever, can I leave yet?” c) I liked them, it made for great ammo.
Meet The Staff campus manager Austin Owen Editorial manager Emily Hagenburger Advertising Managers Jessica Hill, Tanner Jenkins
15-21 Points: The Kid Who Tricked
An immature prick of a kid, you thought candy was dandy but toilet papering and egging a house was a lot more rewarding. The folks who left out a bowl of candy and relied on the honesty of kids to take only one piece got screwed over by your punk-ass. And to top it all off, handfuls of kids went home crying because you stole their candy just because you could. Today you have at least one misdemeanor under your belt, and have never stayed faithful to a significant other.
15-21 Points: The Kid Who Was Too Old
Even when you were of an appropriate age, you had an enthusiasm about Halloween that wasn’t seen amongst other kids. As you got older, you didn’t really know when, or how, to stop trick-or-treating, and you didn’t think it was a big deal. Most parents didn’t like that you still took their mini-Musketeers every October 31st, but no one could deny your passion. Today you have a lot of underage friends, and really don’t think the dorms are that bad!
Find Us At...
campus director Quinn Myers owner Atish Doshi
photographer Lauren Heffner
Founders Jessica Hill, Tanner Jenkins, Austin Owen, Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Quinn Myers, Evan Stone
Cartoonist Can You Draw?
Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com
distribution manager Jacob Keiser
Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com
Social media manager Nathan Horn
Hate Us? lame@theblacksheeponline.com
Writers Mary Moss, Katie Vaughn
3) a=2, b=1, c=3 4) a=1, b=3, c=2
2) How far in advanced would you plan your costume? a) I’d start brainstorming in July and have a solid plan by September. b) A few days before, but then change my mind at the last minute. c) Like 10 minutes before I went out.
4) Did you ever do anything naughty on Devil’s Night? a) Nah, I’d be playing video games inside. b) No way, I’d be putting the final sequins on my costume. c) Smashing pumpkins was more than just a band name, after all.
1) a=1, b=3, c=2 2) a=3, b=2, c=1
1) What was your favorite part about Halloween as a child? a) School that day was a huuuuge joke. b) Everything!!! c) That pranking people was socially acceptable.
You cynical bastard. You were either too cool to care about a costume, or you really just had no desire to get off the couch for a few hours to gather free candy. When your parents forced you out, you barely threw a sheet over your head and shrieked “Boo!” to the smiling little old lady who still put a Bit-O-Honey in your basket. Today you spend a lot of time smoking weed on the couch, and have strong feelings about the election.
Alter Ego Tattoo Gus’ Good Time Deli Stefano’s Pizza Quarry Trail Dunford Morrill Hall Barbarito’s Half Barrel Sunspot Hodges Library Claxton Education McCord Hall Barley’s Taproom Hannah’s (Cumberland) The Well Haslam Business Building Building Gibbs Hall Bearden Beer Market Hannah’s (Old City) Tin Roof University Center Communications & Morgan Hall Boyd’s Jig & Reel HIghland Terrace University Liquors Clement Hall University Extension Tickle Small Animal Cafe 4 Knox Bonding Company Urban Bar Strong Hall McClung Museum Hospital Calhoun’s Marble City Brewing Woodlands Senter Hall HSS Apartment Residence The Casual Pint Company Woodruff’s/Downtown Hoskins Library Thompson-Bowling Cafe Hall Central Flats & Taps Moe’s Grill & Brewery South College Student Health Center All Greek Houses Chipotle NV Sushi Woodmeade South Ayres Hall Art & Architecture Street Teams Cook- Out Nyro’s Gyro’s Bridgecourt Apts Science and Engineering Hess Hall MORE! Cool Beans Preservation Pub Gateway Apts Building Melrose Hall Copper Cellar Roaming Gnome Prime campus housing Alumni Memorial Presidential Court Crown & Goose Saint Tattoo The Grove Building Humes Hall Crowne Plaza Soccer Taco The Commons Neyland Biology Annex Carrick Hall Cumberland Glassworks Southbound The Retreat Henson Hall Reese Hall Ebi Sushi Squire’s University Heights Greve Hall Shellburn Towers
Disclaimer
The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
Owned & Operated By: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Ave. Suite 1, Chicago, IL 60622 Corporate: 217.390-1747 Advertising: 608.712.0900
RESERVE NOW! RESERVE NOW! Lagunitas Beer Beer Dinner Lagunitas Dinner October29th, 29th, 2012, 2012, 7:00 PMPM October 7:00 $45per per person $45 person A 5-Course Dinner Dinner featuring A 5-Course featuring the Beers Lagunitas Brewing Company the Beers of of Lagunitas Brewing Company
Course,paired paired with with Lagunitas Pilsner FirstFirst Course, Lagunitas Pilsner Country fried halibut, Benton’s Benton’s bacon guacamole, Country fried halibut, bacon guacamole, horseradish, carrots horseradish, pickled pickled carrots Second Course, paired Lagunitas Little Sumpin Second Course, pairedwith with Lagunitas Little Sumpin Soy glazed belly,soba soba noodle, vinaigrette, Soy glazed porkpork belly, noodle,scallion scallion vinaigrette, lemongrass,house house made lemongrass, madesambal sambal
Course, paired with with Lagunitas Maximus ThirdThird Course, paired Lagunitas Maximus coriandercrusted crusted sea wasabi tobiko,tobiko, PepperPepper and and coriander seascallop, scallop, wasabi emulsion,truffled truffled zucchini papparadelle citruscitrus emulsion, zucchini papparadelle Fourth Course, paired Lagunitas Stoopid Fourth Course, pairedwith with Lagunitas HopHop Stoopid Braised short enchilada, smoked tomato broth,broth, Braised short ribribenchilada, smoked tomato fresh queso,tarragon tarragon chimichurri fresh queso, chimichurri
Course, pairedwith with Lagunitas Brown Shugga Fifth Fifth Course, paired Lagunitas Brown Shugga cheeseflan, flan, walnut cream, GoatGoat cheese walnuticeice cream, sesametuile, tuile,blood blood orange sauce sesame orange sauce
Call Call for for reservations, (865) 637-4663 reservations, (865) 637-4663 http://www.sunspotrestaurant.com http://www.sunspotrestaurant.com