The Black Sheep
we FRE ’re E... ge Lik tt e a in ll g on this th free is cr st im uff es pree
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Halloween Timeline Volume 3, Issue 5 10/25/12 - 10/31/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_vcu
Aaron Stein wrote this
As college students we’re reminded of that awkward stage between childhood and adolescence, debating whether or not we’re “too cool” for Halloween. Our opinions on Halloween vary throughout the years, but one thing stays the same: the treats. In college, the extravagantly gruesome décor no longer makes us scream like little girls, the month-long costume decisions no longer preoccupy our frontal lobes, and other than ABC’s 13 Days of Halloween (because, let’s admit it, that will always be cool), spooky shows no longer entice us. Halloween no longer holds the excitement and anticipation of the Halloweens of our childhoods. How did spooky costumes and awesome candy change into slutty costumes and awesome booze? Let’s take a look: When our bright-eyed, costume-clad innocent selves became full-fledged hormone-changing, puberty-driven teenagers, we became apathetic about Halloween, and every year after we gave even less shits. The law forbid us from tricking or treating, and cops assumed that any sort of mask we wear must mean immature, hell-raising, deviant acts were soon to follow. Parties inevitably took over the role of candy-gathering, but due to everyone’s lack of adequate transportation, autonomy, and alcohol tolerance, these “parties” took the form of glorified school dances at the local neighborhood clubhouse. Candy was still the primary gain, but since no one actually likes asking for candy (in an attempt to be cool), the candy bowl remained full - except for people who “accidentally” pocketed a handfull thinking it was Doritos (Really, dude, pocketing Doritos?). Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel: college happened. With drink being so plentiful, it’s as if life has come to a complete circle - Halloween is back on the map and everyone is giddy with enthusiasm. Candy is replaced with beer, costumes are replaced with lingerie, and decorations are replaced with stains of indeterminate origins and used condoms. Like our childhood experiences, Halloween has come to be a month long celebration, and each day is a countdown to the big day. But alas, in college there are plenty of “big days.” Here, Halloween is not only an excuse to dress like a middle-class hooker (Ed. note: when they are middle class, they are no longer “hookers” but “prostitutes,” and may some day advance to “escorts”… just sayin’), but also an excuse to act like one. Here, Halloween is not only excuse to drink ourselves into oblivion, but an ex-
Magical Mysterious Monroe Park
cuse to do it over and over again. Here, Halloween is not only excuse to hook up with an ugly chick, but to thoroughly enjoy it, (you have a reason for her to keep a mask on). Yes, Halloween is back into our lives, but with a different set of rules. Costume rules have changed – you either go ballsto-the-wall creative, or balls-in-the-pants “wearing a loincloth makes me Tarzan.” There’s no in-between. Candy is a must, but come on, we’re adults and can buy our own candy – let’s see some Take 5’s and Twix bars; no Bottle Caps or Sprees,
what’s inside The Top 10 Bar-Nots
you sick bastards. TPing? Sure, go nuts, but know you’re surrounded by young, able bodies who will chase you down – not old grandmas who will die in their front yards trying to clean up your mess. Yes, our October-selves have seen some drastic changes. We went from loving Halloween to regarding it as child’s play, to loving it again, but for completely different (but kind of the same) reasons. So get out there and enjoy yourselves, and don’t end up in jail for smashing and/or having sex with pumpkins.
Halloween Costume Guide: The Skank-O-Meter
It’s more than a patch of grass, it’s a patch of grass where you can smoke some grass.
Barkeep, I’d like to drink for free, make it strong or feel my wrath.
Who doesn’t love skanks?
page 5
page 6
page 13
contents
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 6: Halloween’s Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes... For Men Women shouldn’t have all the fun this year!
page 7: From the streets
Table of
If you were caught cheating on your girlfriend, what celebrity would you be spooning?
page 9: Bludgers and All: Quiddich Time Just because the books are aimed at the youth crowd doesn’t mean you the game is. Okay, well it is, but no, hey, no, YOU shut up!
page 6
page 10: Bartender of the Week Papa Kyle at Strange Matter has plenty of tattoos.
page 9
page three p e e h S k The Blaicle App Mob
PICS | DRINKING Y RT A P | S IAL BAR SPEC SCAN TO DOWNLOAD
THE iPHONE APP
! k e e W e h t f o c i P
GAMES
SCAN TO DOWNLOAD
THE ANDROID APP
Sexy Anagrams
“Yes my pretties, drink, drink the malignant elixir! Muahahehehe!” (Want to become famous next week? Awesome.)
Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
Swatters Tinker
Rail Clef Lorn
Do you know who these hotties are?
last week’s answers
Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
Charlize Theron & Paul Newman
word of the week Internpreter:
Colloquial term for a career center worker trained in parsing the vague language found in internship job postings.
“The internpreter I went to told me that ‘for class credit’ is just a nice way of saying an internship is unpaid.”
page 4
theblacksheeponline.com
7-Year-Old Boy Wanders on to Campus for Halloween, Nearly Seals the Deal VCU Staff wrote this Timothy Collins, age seven, found himself in the middle of campustown late Wednesday night after being separated from his older brother. Timothy, a resident of Richmond, was out trick-ortreating with his sibling when Matthew, age twelve, complained that his little brother was slowing him down saying, “The good candy will be all gone by the time we get there.” Matthew allegedly ran ahead of his brother until he was out of view. “The little snot,” as referred to by Matthew, then began to wander west towards campus until he found himself on Main Street. Timothy began to notice the alcohol-to-candy ratio rapidly increasing after he crossed Broad Street. He began to feel uneasy after being heckled by several passersby, while some threw halfempty beer bottles at Timothy’s feet. “I thought that dude was just some freshman looking for a party to sneak into or something,” Jeremy Singer, a junior in advertising remarked after he reportedly called Timmy a “chubby little douchenugget.” After being shoed away by several doormen and even receiving a wristband at one bar, Timothy ventured away from what he called “the scary people street” and made his way south where he attempted to resume trick-or-treating. “No one gave me much candy, but I got a fun-sized Jose Cuervo and half of a Jimmy John’s Sandwich. I don’t know what either of those things are.” Timothy encountered several other drunken individuals as he made his way from apartment to apartment. “I saw a Pikachu,
a witch, and a Teletubby who showed me her boobies. They all smelled like my Uncle Tony after Thanksgiving.” As Timothy continued along his way he was accosted by several men on the rooftop of a fraternity house. John Walker, senior in chemistry remarked, “Yeah we saw this tiny skeleton walking down Floyd Street, and we all thought, ‘holy crap, is that a dwarf?’ Right then we knew we needed that little bastard at our party.” Timothy, was invited into the party but was stopped at the door by one of the brothers. “Yeah, the guy at the front said that they’re a top house, and if I tell people I’m a brother I can get any job I want and any girl I want. There’s nothing I can’t have. Mommy said those guys are what she calls ‘tools’,” Timothy explained about the encounter. Inside the party Timothy searched for candy but unfortunately for him his efforts were in vain. “They didn’t have any candy, but I did find a lot of plastic tubes that smelled like skunks and a whole box of little balloons called Magnums.” Timothy wandered about the dance floor where, according to eyewitnesses, several fraternity brothers lifted him up to crowd surf. Due to his reported “coolness” he was invited upstairs for a VIP party in one of the brother’s rooms. In this room was where Timothy ran into Jennifer Rawlings, freshman in communication and reported mattress queen of the fraternity house. “I remember this cute guy walking in dressed up as a skeleton,
and I figured that since none of the other brothers will touch me anymore I’d try my chances with him,” Jennifer commented. According to reports she took Timothy to an empty room and attempted to flirt with him but was unsuccessful when Timothy remarked that she was icky and had cooties. Upon exiting the room moments later several fraternity brothers cheered for Timothy because, reportedly, “someone had finally blue-balled that bitch.” Timothy was then handed a formal bid by the president of and was invited to play some ultimate Frisbee in Monroe Park at noon the next day. It was shortly after this incident that police arrived on the scene and busted the party. The police discovered Timothy there and thought it was just an innocent misunderstanding but were forced to place the child under arrest for having several grams of marijuana in his trick-or-treating bag.
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
page 5
Magical Mysterious Monroe Park Daniel Park wrote this
Monroe Park, named after our country’s fifth president James Monroe, is considered to be Richmond’s oldest park. The legend is that the grass is watered and fertilized by the urine and the quick deuces from our reliable, intoxicated donors. Besides James Monroe’s ghost and the rampant public defecation, Monroe park offers an impeccable opportunity to not-creepily people watch. As you walk through this park, you will inevtibaly be faced with the many strokes of different folks. You can’t escape the LARPers – these students practice their swordsmanship with one another, and some go so far as to get on their knees and scurry around like hobbits. It is always a sight when you see this large group of college students duking it out with their shirts off and swinging whiffle bats or cushioned sticks at each other. Never step onto the battlefield when they’re en garde-ing, or you might become their number one target. Keep walking and you’ll see one student standing out in the middle of nowhere, seemingly doing nothing yet occupied by something. This student is enjoying a game of cricket. Cricket not only takes up the entire park, but can last three to five days. So this poor chap sits out here, twiddling his thumb for a few days, at the chance of whatever kind of ball they play with to mosey its way to his feet. Then he throws it back, or runs away, or compliments the hitter on a nice slap-hit… we’re not real sure how this
game works, besides wasting a lot of time and space. Apparently Monroe Park is the place for off-the-cuff sports, because eventually you will find grown-ass adults running around with brooms between their legs enjoying a mean game of Quiddich. Chasers, keepers, beaters, and seekers run in jubilation, giving zero shits about what other people think. Who else gets to relive moments of their favorite books? If the next Monroe Park novel-turnedgame is Fifty Shades of Grey, then count us in! As you reach the end of Monroe Park, if the weather is still decent, you’ll have the opportunity to steal a few glances at girls laying on their stomachs in the grassy corner across Rhoads and Brandt Hall. “Catching up on some reading” requires they lop off their spaghetti straps and catch a few rays. Tanning: the best way to receive natural attention from the sun (and dudes). To counteract these ladies, however, there are the homeless men, who are apparently always hot. On the corner across the Business building are some street-corner sundowners sleeping on towels. They’re obviously not dead, but if you see one in the same position for a week straight, maybe give them a nice poke. For the hopeless romantics, the water fountain in the center is an ideal place to set up some candles, strum your guitar, and have a date. Yes, you will be a prime target
for the ridiculous number of robberies plaguing VCU, and yes, you will be judged as the cheesiest person on campus – but if your apartment is being fumigated and all the restaurants on campus are closed, this is the best option for a date. As you near the end of your college career, you’ll look back and think “Why didn’t I play at least on game of cricket,” or “You know, I really wish I would have re-enacted a few sex scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey with a sleeping bum in the fountain.”
we deliver food, beer, wine, champagne and cigarettes DELIVERY HOURS: Monday - Sunday 11am to 10pm 2631 West Cary Street • 804.353.7445 carystreetcafe.com
• music daily •
page 4
The Top 10
Bar-Nots
theblacksheeponline.com
Halloween’s Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes… for Men VCU Staff wrote this
What’s the best thing to do on a Friday night when there’s nothing on TV, no interesting Facebook statuses to play detective with, or when you spontaneously decide to get a life? Go to a bar. It doesn’t matter which bar; if they have alcohol, you’re in. The nice thing about our favorite social lubricant is the brilliant glow it shines over your night. Everything is wonderful and everybody loves you, right? Wrong. There is something called bar etiquette and it might as well be coming out of Sarah Palin’s mouth because it’s ignored more often than you think. Avoid these fatal bar mistakes to ensure a happy future for you, your bartenders, and your genitalia. 10.) Not Have Your Drink Order When It’s Busy: This isn’t Olive Garden; the bartender is not waiting for you to look at the menu, and they don’t want to give recommendations. Go up, get your drink, get out of there. 9.) Complain Your Drink is Weak: The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and by grease I mean dozens of dirty looks. It just makes you look like an asshole (and kind of an alcoholic). If you really think you’re getting ripped off, go to another bar or just drink out of the whiskey bottle at home. 8.) Not Have Your Money Ready Bars are Crowded: Don’t sit there fumbling for your wallet and holding up the line; people are there to drink or serve drinks, not watch you sort through eight expired Borders gift cards. 7.) Ask For or Expect Free Drinks: There is no proper decorum for getting free drinks, because that’s how bartenders get fired. It’s a bad economy - would you ask your best friend to risk their job so you could get a free Long Island iced tea? 6.) Give The Never-ending Order: It’s impressive to down drinks in two minutes flat, but that doesn’t mean you should. If you insist on it, order several drinks together. Don’t order a shot, wait to get it, down it, order a martini, and repeat. You might be the dick that gets stabbed in the eye that night. 5.) Yell Out, Whistle or Otherwise Loudly Call the Bartender: The bartender is not your mom. The bartender is not your bang buddy. The bartender is not a prostitute. They are getting to you as fast as they can, and bitching about how you don’t have a vodka cranberry isn’t going to get them to you any faster. 4.) Assume You Can Smoke: When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Also it’s illegal to smoke in half the bars in Richmond. Finally, it’s best not to blow smoke in the face of someone who has to serve you for the next two hours. At least ask before you spark up. 3.) Walk Behind the Bar: You know how you’re not supposed to cross the line on the bus so that the bus driver can work in peace without crazies getting all up in their grill? A bar is like a bus that serves booze, and the bar itself is the only buffer between the bartender and the crowd of crazy people. Going behind the bar violates the social contract; don’t do it. 2.) Start a Fight: Don’t be that guy. If you don’t understand why starting a fight makes you that guy, you already are that guy. 1.) Disrespect the Bartender (or the Bar): The bartender runs the bar, they make the rules, and they control the booze. Failure to respect the bartender or the sanctity of the bar will likely get you thrown the hell out, and not welcome back.
Rachel Sutton wrote this
There’s always that one sourpuss who complains about how revealing women’s costumes are come Halloween, but let’s be serious here: No level of white knighted-ness is going to stop girls from partaking in such a rousing night of mini-skirts, bunny ears, or nothing at all. But with so many scantily clad sailors, soldiers and nurses, Halloween is growing a little stale on the female front. Here are some costume ideas for men so they can spice things up with that one night where guys can just be slutty for a change: Male French Maid: Lace up a dude with heels, stockings, a blouse, and a little hat, and you’ve got yourself a bona fide French manservant who isn’t afraid to “get into those tight corners.” A guy can even add in a feather duster to accentuate his manly arms whilst getting some cleaning done around the apartment. No matter what accessories you tack on, you still won’t have to shave your legs. David Bowie: It’s not cross-dressing, but it’s pretty damn close. If you have the time (and the funds) to turn yourself into the glitter-dazzled, fire redhaired wonder that was 70s Bowie, then there’s no way you wouldn’t be able to get Ziggy with it. With enough androgyny to confuse Boy George, you’ll attract the eyes of both sexes no matter where you go with that skin-tight, god-knowswhat-material suit and those sunken cheekbones that scream, “I’m not afraid to be ‘Under Pressure’!” Also, the Bowie Bulge, if any lesser man can manage it, is always a plus. UPS Man: Just to get it out of the way, yes, the endless barrage of your friends drunkenly sputtering, “Do you have a package for me?” and commenting on the thigh high short-shorts is going to grow tiresome, but being a UPS delivery man has way more benefits than simply dropping off the goods. For one, it opens up windows of opportunity such as showing up to parties completely unannounced and at the worst possible time. You could even do something goofy like bringing a Sharpie along to have people “sign for their package” on your skin, which could either be phenomenally hysterical or abysmally traumatizing the next morning. Think Momento with
less important reminders and more poorly-drawn penises. Cupid: If girls can pass off concealing 10% of their skin as a costume, then a guy donning nothing more than a diaper/cheetah-print Speedo and a quiver full of phallic arrows should be acceptable. As the God of Love, you may not have the same appeal as a buff Tarzan or the Old Spice guy, but you instead have the responsibility of being one hell of a wingman. Even on Halloween, the line between “hilariously adorable” and “public indecency” is regrettably unclear. Genghis Khan: Was he the best looking ancient warlord? Probably not. But the power dynamic of being a fearsome, tyrannical conqueror of many a nation offers a hefty bit of attraction, but for a guy’s sexual sphere to peak at around 2,000 to 3,000 women, there’s got to be an overlooked tender side to him. It’s either that, or Genghis Khan was just a complete and totally shameless man-whore. The armored costume might not be the most revealing of the night, but using “I’m the sluttiest emperor the Mongolian empire has ever seen” as a pickup line will definitely cause some swooning. Slutty Abraham Lincoln: He’s America’s favorite sixteenth president and an absolute heartthrob. He may have not had the charisma of Bill Clinton or the spirited charm of JFK, but Abe Lincoln’s “Work hard, play hard” attitude (which was his campaign slogan) stands as the staple for this costumes rugged manliness and political promiscuity. Just toss on a top hat, a fake beard, prosthetic mole, and a pair of button pants with cufflinks, and you’ll be ready to emancipate this proclamation. If things become too risqué, just toss on a hoodie to become Casual Abraham Lincoln, one more focused on just chilling and having a lax time, man. Gentlemen, don’t be afraid to show a little skin this Halloween season. You’ve been hitting the gym hard enough; it’s time to show off what you’ve got. Unless you’ve already gained more than your freshman fifteen this early on in the year. In that case, just stay out of our sight, please.
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
If you were ever caught cheating on your girlfriend, what celebrity would you be spooning? “On top of Jessica Alba.” - Alex P., Sophomore
“Meagan Good, because she’s all-around bad.” - Samson H., Senior
“Teairra Mari. She’s sexy as hell.” - Tim J., Senior
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)
Fish Bowl
, s d n , Frie r o v Fla ! t s a e F Bistro Bar 101 South 15th street | (804) 562-1438 | 11am-2am daily
The Food and Event Grid
Carytown Bistro
SPECIAL NIGHT
Live Music/DJs Every Wednesday - Saturday! Check Our FB Page for Upcoming Shows!
EVERYDAY! VCU Student Discount: 10% Off EVERYDAY! (**MUST SHOW ID**)
SUNDAY! Football Sundays! Up to five games on simultaneously! Pitcher of Bud Lt., Coors Lt. or Miller Lt. AND a Plate of Jumbo Wings for $11.99
Live Music every Tues, Wed, Fri. & Sat., Check our FB Page!
THURS. 10/25
Invisible Hand, Live! Daily Food and Bar Specials! $5 Menu During All Football Games + Bucket Specials!
$1.00 off ANY Panini OPEN MIC NIGHT! 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM
Low Tide (4-8) $2 Off Select Apps
1/2 Price Apps 4-6pm XBox 360 Rockband 9pm
FRI. 10/26
Murphy’s Kids, Live! Ska Punk Band Costume Party Daily Food and Bar Specials! $5 Menu During All Football Games + Bucket Specials!
20% off ANY Signature Latte
Low Tide (4-8) $2 Off Select Apps Live Music & DJs Every Weekend! NO COVER!
King Solomons Marbles 10pm, $7. 1/2 price Apps 4-6pm
SAT. 10/27
Apocalypse Dudes w/ Iggy Plop Halloween Party with Prizes and Giveaways! Daily Food and Bar Specials! $5 Menu During All Football Games + Bucket Specials!
Student Discount: 10% off anything (MUST SHOW ID) Live Jazz Every Other Saturday Night
Live Music & DJs Every Weekend! NO COVER!
Open-Jam w/ Dave Shiflett 2-5pm, Free Wake of the Flood 10pm, $10
SUN. 10/28
Check out our full schedule on Facebook!
VCU Student Discount: 10% off EVERYDAY! (**MUST SHOW ID**)
Football Sundays! Up to five games on simultaneously! Pitcher of Bud Lt., Coors Lt. or Miller Lt. AND a Plate of Jumbo Wings for $11.99
Tripp & Jenny, Old-Time Jam Session, 2-5pm - Free Karaoke 9pm
MON. 10/29
1/2 off Burger night $5 Menu During All Football Games + Bucket Specials!
Show Student ID = 15% Discount on Total Price
Closed
1/2 price apps 4-6pm Karaoke 9pm
TUES. 10/30
Wing Night & Flight Night Trivia at 8pm
Buy ANY sandwich and get a FREE Small Latte!
Low Tide (4-8) $2 Off Select Apps Burger Special Buy One, Get One free Te-quil-ya Tuesdays
Former Champions 10pm, No Cover 1/2 price Apps 4-6pm
WED. 10/31
Radio Rubber Room Presents Daily Food and Bar Specials!
Buy ANY Coffee or Coffee Drink and get a FREE Muffin Top from 7:00 AM - 10:00 AM
Low Tide (4-8) $2 Off Select Apps College Night Show Your ID For Great Specials
Southern Belles 10pm, No Cover 1/2 price apps 4-6pm
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
page 9
Bludgers and All: Quidditch Time Nick Wright wrote this Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 15 years, you’re at least a little bit familiar with the Harry Potter series. The fan base is insane, the ideas and imagery of the series is mind-blowing, and the thought of getting your letter to Hogwarts is super exciting (I’m still waiting for mine). The predominant sport is “Quidditch,” which involves a lot of flying around on brooms and grabbing after balls. VCU is stepping into the realm of wizard sports and take them on in its own way. You might see students running around, knocking unsuspecting victims over with their brooms and chasing a little girl in a gold costume; do not be alarmed. This is completely normal! Well, as normal as Quidditch gets. We don’t know exactly how to join this not over-enthusiastic group of students, but we do have an idea of what it might take to be part of this intense group that we call VCU Quidditch. First, you have to be committed, you have to dedicate your heart and soul. You think Harry just walked around thinking, “This is going to be a cakewalk”? You’re right, he did, but Harry had special powers because his mom died for him, or you know, whatever. Is your mom dead? No? Well too bad. When you enter into the realm of broom-based athletics, you need to check your ego at the door and be prepared
to work. With that in mind, the first thing you need is a broom. Make sure it’s an actual broom; no Hocus Pocus vacuum cleaners allowed. The way these Quidditch players run is not a joke; you need a lot of stamina. We’re talking broom squats, balance beams, and the ability to grab tiny balls… basically, be prepared to work hard so you don’t look stupid running around with a broom between your legs. From the front you look like you’re holding onto a tiny dick for dear life, but it takes a pair of balls to join a Quidditch team. If you want to be the part, you have to dress the part: spandex, a cup, a cape, a hat, a scarf, and cleats to run in. Being chased by a beater may seem intimidating, but they just beat the hell out of a little girl and she gets through it. Do you know why? She commits to this shit! Also she’s wrapped in the equivalent of like, six layers of bubble wrap. Once you get outfitted, you need to find your way onto a team. It may seem like an easy process (it’s a bunch of nerds running around smacking each other with blunt weapons, how long could the waiting list be?), but know that this team is an exclusive club. Not anyone can do this; you have to be athletic, witty, and able to take a beating.
Just a spoiler, no magic is involved. Even though running broom riders may seem like they are the most magical, and powerful creatures on earth. J.K Rowling herself would be so proud to see how we carry ourselves with this sport. Not only are we bringing it to the real world, we are dedicated and don’t play around. So, everyone get your gear and head to Monroe Park. There’s a golden ball waiting to be grabbed.
everything BAR SPECIALS ON YOUR PHONE. Download
THE BLACK SHEEP MOBILE APP
YEAH!
SCAN FOR THE iPHONE APP SCAN FOR THE ANDROID APP Or Search Black Sheep Mobile
Hysterically Hilarious Hurried Halloween Habiliment Helper Start!
gender cat/hippie Slutty hooker/ box robot/ risque bizniz neutral ghost ryan locthe
the interview
the hush sound
The Hush Sound is a Chicago rock band that plays music and has also been known to eat food. After going on hiatus in 2009, they recently announced a reunion tour across the Midwest. To celebrate, we deigned to speak with vocalist and guitarist Bob Morris, as well as vocalist and pianist Greta Morgan. They were nice. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: What brought about The Hush Sound doing a reunion tour after being on hiatus for several years? Bob Morris: It was a perfect storm. We were happy just doing shows together once in a while, but our personal lives just all lined up. Greta and I got back in touch, we’ve grown in some cool ways and we’re all excited to play music together again, so we decided to tour. TBS: When you say, “getting back in touch,” what do you mean by that? Like, what to what degree did you guys stay in touch when you were on hiatus? Bob: Stressing about the break, or without the understanding of what we were, there wasn’t that much communication. Time heals all wounds. We realized that there wasn’t anything actually wrong, it was just issues we created ourselves. The day I quit this other band I instinctually called Greta. She’s like family, even if we were mad at each other at some point. Eventually we started hanging out and playing music, and we decided to do a tour. TBS: What’s it like preparing for a tour when you haven’t played music together regularly for several years? Greta Morgan: We take it on a show-by-show basis. We’ve played a few times a year for the past three years. Whether they were private college shows or hometown Chicago shows, we’ve been getting together, rehearsing the songs. Approaching these old songs, we can find something new in an old lyric, something that’s about our lives now. I mean, I wrote most of these songs before I graduated high school, and we put out our last album when I was 18, I think. TBS: So do you ever look back at your songs and say, “What the hell was I thinking?” Bob: Yes, I do think that sometimes. At the same time, when you say something and you’re young, it’s before you’ve seen anything in the world, so it’s this primal, reactionary thing. I think there’s something special about a band’s first album that is hard to replicate, but as you do it again you get better and better at expressing yourself. TBS: Is there anything where it’s just too embarrassing, where it’s just like, “No way we’re doing this song?” Greta: Oh yeah. Bob: Oh yeah. Greta: That’s what I was saying about finding something new about a song. There are a few songs during rehearsal where Bob would say, “There’s no emotion to your vocals,” but it’s hard to flash back to when you’re 16 so you can feel it. Bob would say, “Try it like it’s an instrument— like you’re a trombone player or it’s a flute.” Bob saying that all of a sudden shows you this old thing in a new way and you can find something new in it. TBS: What do you expect to get out of this short tour? Greta: It’s just an experiment to see how much fun we can have touring and playing together. Also, it’s really exciting to reconnect with fans that saw us in 2005 or 2006, their tastes have changed, as have ours. Beyond that, it’s wild to see these kids all grown up with their husbands or wives or kids. It’s a wild transition. Bob: And to your point about music taking on a new meaning, a friend of ours, Eric from Gold Motel (Ed. Note: Greta’s other band) just tweeted about how music you listen to when you’re 14 to 17 sticks with you. I know what he’s talking about—when I listen to some of the punk I listened to growing up, I think “Man, some of this is really awful.” TBS: Yeah, I know an embarrassing amount of KoRn songs. Speaking of touring, what’s the weirdest venue you’ve played in? Bob: We’ve played in a parking lot of Augusta, Georgia when the promoter didn’t have a PA, and a club in Long Island that had glass showers all around the club. Greta: Yeah, it was a strip club turned into a strip club. It was super-weird. When we started we’d play basements, Legion halls and VFWs. TBS: How do you engage with a crowd when you’re on stage? Greta: It’s really up to the band to start the ignition, but whether or not the audience responds in an excited, unguarded way, or if they stand back and just hang out, that determines how a show will go. Bob: And however potent the ecstasy is that we hand out before the show. TBS: Remind me to stop by your show.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
cloud atlas in theaters october 26
This trippy movie starring Tom Hanks and Halle Berry tells a tale of how your individual actions from way back in the day will effect what happens to you (and others) well into the future, even when “you” aren’t around anymore. Equal parts action, mystery, and romance, this film sees actors negotiate different roles in different points in the movie’s history. They’re the same, but different. Whoa, man, this is deep.
the walking dead sunday, october 28 at 9pm on amc
In the third episode of season three Andrea and Michonne are still struggling through the zombie apocalypse, but they do stumble upon a new community of survivors. Now an epic decision needs to be made; should they stay with them via the whole “power in numbers” philosophy, or should they stick with what they know? #zombieproblems
calvin harris - 18 months in stores october 30
18 Months is the third studio release from Scottish DJ and producer Calvin Harris, the same guy who brought you “Feel So Close,” the whimsical tune about the feelings EDM kids get when they take drugs together and go to a Calvin Harris show. His latest single “Sweet Nothing” features the lovely sounds of Florence Welch, which seems appropriate given the title of the song.
page 12
theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week Papa Kyle Strange Matter Age: 30 years young. What’s your favorite word: Poindexter, love the way it sounds. If you were stuck on an island, what three things must you have: Jameson, High Life and my dog, Turtle.
What’s a fact not that many people know about you: At the age of 12 I moved from the butthole city of Fresno, California. Do you have a porn-flick nickname: Papa Kyle What’s your status: I’m just single.
What actress or comedian would you want to hang out with: Patton Oswalt
Are you part of a band: No, but I bike all the time.
What are some of the strangest things that happen at Strange Matter, and what can a student expect: Stage diving, blood, everything is a spectacle. Happy hour is from 4-9 p.m.!
How many tattoos do you have: Plenty. Have you hooked up with an employee: Never, I’m not Thomas! [From the Village Café]
If you could have any other occupation besides bartend, what would that be: A bar owner.
the drinking game
hocus pocus For anyone who ever had an ounce of a real childhood, October is all about the Thirteen Nights of Halloween on ABC Family. Between sexy high school virgins and Sarah Jessica Parker as a witch, Hocus Pocus is bound to get anyone going. What You’ll Need: Beer and Hocus Pocus. Number of Players: As many as you can get. Everyone loves it, shouldn’t be too hard. Level of Intoxication: Great game to a get an early night buzz going. How to Play: - Sit back with some brewskies and watch Hocus Pocus. Anytime something on this list appears in the film, you must drink your beer for a few seconds. - Drink when: - A spell is cast. - Sarah Jessica Parker sings. - Someone mentions a virgin. - The black flame candle is mentioned. - Binks (in cat or human form) says “Emily.” - Max gets bullied. - Bette Midler says “sisters.” - Sarah Jessica Parker flirts. - The magic book’s eye moves. - If someone forgets to drink, they must shotgun a new can of beer. The Game Ends When: Spoiler Alert: The witches turn to stone! Shotgun your last beer, and enjoy the rest of the magical night.
download our app for all of our drinking games!
Recipe for Disaster
pumpk’n pudd’n ‘Tis the season for jack o’ lanterns and stealing candy out of the hands of little, helpless children (okay, we’re not that heartless. We leave them a Skittle or two). This will put your excess pumpkins to use, in case you have some leftovers after throwing your pumpkin guts at the neighbors. What You’ll Need: A pumpkin, rice, milk, brown sugar, and ground cinnamon. Cook Time: 45 minutes (but it’s well worth the wait!). Fatty Factor: You’ll get a hell of a sugar high but nothing too serious. Let’s Get Baked: - Combine 1 cup of rice, 3 cups of milk, and 1 cup of brown sugar in a saucepan. - Heat and stir until the mixture boils. - Continue to stir until rice is tender and most of the milk is absorbed. - Mix in a separate bowl 1 cup of mashed pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. - Take your new mixture and put it into your heated concoction. - Stir in 1/2 cup of milk until it looks like a pudding mixture. - Let cool or chill in a refrigerator. - Once it’s set, dive on in and enjoy! If you’re trying to get real fancy wit’ it, sprinkle some cinnamon, pecans and whipped cream on top. This pudding will make you feel like you just got laid by someone who actually likes and respects you. No more pity sex, ever!
Hungry for More? theblacksheeponline.com
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
page 13
Halloween Costume Guide: The Skank-O-Meter VCU STAFF wrote this With Halloween just around the corner. There’s certainly a lot to look forward to: pumpkin carving, scary movies, and, of course, really slutty costumes! But it’s often hard to tell if a girl’s super skanky costume translates into you getting laid or them having daddy issues. After all, Halloween is the one day of the year when even the most conservative chicks least pretend that they’re up for anything, and manage to do a pretty convincing job. So, how do you tell if she’s a good girl playing bad or if she wants to treat you and lick that Blowpop? Spoiler alert: It’s all in the costume. Level Five: Slutty Monster. This is a dead giveaway for a goodie-two-shoes playing dress up. Honestly, how slutty can Frankenstein or his bride get? The answer is not very. Monsters are scary, no matter how much cleavage you show. Who thinks of zombies and sex simultaneously? Nobody, unless you’re into necrophilia. Nice try, Slutty Ghoul, you’ve been spotted as the straight-edge kid that you are. Level Four: Nurse, Firewoman, or Policewoman. Does she look sexy? More than likely. Is her outfit made entirely of pleather? Probably. But don’t be fooled, no matter how much T & A she’s showing she’s still dressed up as a gainfully employed woman of society. That inner feminist streak that some women have just can’t be hidden no matter how hard they try. She’s probably no Clean Cut Sally, but she’s smarter, and less likely to munch on dudes’ Whoppers while they lick her Bit-O-Honey than your average Hallo-whore.
Level Three: French Maid. This is the level that brings us to official slut status. Your odds of getting some with the French Maid are significantly higher than with the aforementioned Nurse. By wearing this costume, she’s totally broadcasting the right vibes, but be wary. As much of a ho as she may seem, the majority of her body is still covered. Not a great sign, but go for it anyways. Just be sure to approach with necessary caution, she may be into some weird stuff with that feather duster. Level Two: Naughty Schoolgirl. Now we’re getting somewhere. This one is classically not classy. Us ladies are smarter than we’re given credit for, and we know that the schoolgirl look will get us the extra-curriculars we’re after. We know men aren’t idiots, so the ass-skimming skirt and pigtails are a certified win. As soon as she whips out the plaid skirt, it’s a pretty solid sign that she’s open to letting you NutRageous all over her Mounds as she screams in Almond Joy. Level One: Bunny. Let’s be honest, this isn’t a costume. She put on underwear, ears, and a tail, and called it good. This lady DTH (down to hop) into your sack for sure. Think about it. It’s October, which means it’s cold as opposite hell outside. She had the lady balls to tug on a (probably) too-tight corset monstrosity, did her makeup, straightened her hair, and found ears and a tail to pin on. On top of all of that, the woman shaved her legs. That’s a whole lot of effort, friends. She has braved the elements in her “costume,” and that means that she is on one mission and one mission only.
For her dedication, we salute her. She’s definitely on the prowl and ready to have 3 Musketeers (or just three dudes dressed like musketeers) Skor with her in the McDonald’s bathroom. There you have it, folks, the five Level Skank-O-Meter Guide to having a wild and weird Halloween. Good luck out there, ladies and gentlemen, and here’s to hoping you find your own Level One (or at least a decent Level Two). Or some candy corn.
OPEN
MIC NIGHT
EvEry Thursday 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM
Carytown Bistro & Coffee House
26 souTh auburn avE | 804.340.0272
play Halloween bingo! Send in pictures that lead to BINGO and win a prize! Email us at bingo@theblacksheeponline.com
Playboy Bunny
Pirate
French Maid
Cheerleader
Nurse
Beer Wench
Firefighter
Toga
Hippie
Cat woman
School Girl
Pilot
Angel
Bumble Bee
Devil
Ladybug
Police Officer
Girl scout
Sailor
Fairy
Cave Girl
Witch
Disney Princess
Jailbird
the classtime Husband: • Rob Zombie • Pinhead • Count von Count • Michael Myers wife: • Elvira, Mistress of the Dark • Carrie White • Roseanne Barr • Samara Morgan met at: • A pet sematary •Those hills that have eyes • The house at the end of the street • Camp Crystal Lake
How to play:
wedding dinner: • BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!! • Franken Berry • The blood of 1,000 babies • Liver, with fava beans and a nice chianti
Editorial manager Gregory Alexander
Doodle some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
Find Us At...
pr/Marketing team Casey Burnett, Monique Brevard Deanna Celmer, Negeen Kianersi Christina Moore
Advertising ManagerS Ricky Harb, Jack McKain
campus director Brendan Bonham
Writers Daniel Park, Rachel Sutton Aaron Stein, Nick Wright Anthony Vealey
owner Atish Doshi
distribution manager Melvin Bernal Social media manager Maya Nalli promotions manager Casey Burnett
double date couple: • The Frankensteins • Jack Skellington and Sally • Chucky and his bride • Gomez and Morticia Addams
How you die: Honeymoon Destination: • By creepy kids • A zombie attack • Sunny Transylvania • Becoming possessed • A cabin in the woods • Stabbing. Lots of stabbing. • Amityville • The Overlook Hotel shared tombstone quote: favorite rom-com: • Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness • “ ‘Till death do us fart!” • “We’ll be back.” • Troll 2 • “Eh. Have you seen a horror • Killer Klowns from Outer movie?” Space • “Paging Dr. Frankenstein!” • The Killer Condom
Meet The Staff campus manager Jasmine Kent
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Founders Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Quinn Myers, Evan Stone Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com
Republic Mojo’s Philadeli 1800 Bar & Grill Fish Bowl First & Main Electronics The Camel Club Infuzion Posh Aurora Village Cafe Little Mexico Little Mexico
821 Cafe Rumors Panda Garden Good Taste Cary and Belvidere Strange Matter Crossroads - ice Sticky Rice Presidential Cuts Ackell Cous Cous cream and coffee Bodillaz 8 1/2 Canal The Art building Bellytimber shop Baja Apartments Chilli’s/Cary St Deli Roxy Cafe Virginia Book Mulligans Sports Head Hunters Snead Hall Starlite Company Bar Piccolas Engineering Starbucks Absolute Tattoo Rev it UP Red Dragon China building Godfreys Plaza art supply City Dogs Hibbs hall Bleeker St Cafe Carry St Cafe shop Delux Harris Hall Jonahs Cafeteria Cha Cha’s Apprentice Hair Monkeys Bar&Grill The Commons PLUS DORMS Lucky Buddha Salon Sidewalk Cafe Academic Building AND STREET Off The Hookah Ramz Nails Empire Broad and BelviTEAMS AND Stuffy’s Fine Foods T T Lounge dere MORE!
Disclaimer The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
Owned & Operated By: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Ave., Suite 1 Chicago, IL 60622 217.390.1747
the classtime spooky movies
Scream
jaws
dracula
pyscho
the haunting
the exorcist
blair witch project
godzilla
poltergeist
paranormal activity
the ring
saw
halloween
anaconda
nightmare on elm street
white noise
the shining aliens
frakenstein the grudge
silence of the lambs
Now Leasing for
August 2013! www.TheCollegiateLiving.com
the