The Black Sheep
FR EE cl ... L ow ike t n is he sell ca in ndy g fr t h om at his elderl va n! y
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 8 10/25/12 -10/31/12
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheepWVU
the Best of the Best
Allyson Parrish wrote this
As a college student, you should know what ratemyprofessors.com is, and if you don’t, you sure need to learn. Who cares how convenient a class is as long as the professor is the shit, right? Well, from The Black Sheep to you, we did you a favor and found some of the highest ranked professors at WVU and the classes they are teaching spring semester, so you won’t get stuck with the “I’d rather be dead than hear this guy talk” professor. You’re welcome. For all you poor souls who have to take calculus, Prof. Erin Goodykoontz is the women whose embrace you should long for, especially if you plan on taking MATH150 this spring. Ranked at a perfect 5.0 - which seems nearly impossible for a math professor Goodykoontz wowed her students into enjoying math. Sounds like a crazy fairytale, but her students said that she “makes everything easy to understand” and “realizes that what she is teaching is new to most, so she takes it slow and gives lots of examples.” Reminds us of a moment we’ll never forget, the first time someone showed us how to stick it in.* *In this case, “it” is the remainder, people. Division was a memorable time in all of our lives. For the history buffs on campus, HIST101 this spring should be taken with Prof. Traci Scully. For most, History is something that bores you to tears. According to one student on ratemyprofessors. com, her class made him want to get his masters in History. Any professor who can convince a student that a lifetime ceiling working as an Assistant Manager at TGI Friday’s is a mind that’s worth looking into. If you’re a theater major or just someone wanting to polish up your acting skills, then take THET144 with Prof. Lee Blair. According to his students, this guy knows what he’s talking about and will do everything to help you become as good as him. Everyone should take an acting class at some point in their life; you never know when you’ll have to flawlessly bullshit your way through an interview. And hey, if you have to burst out in song to land that job, it’s good to be prepared. Do you love English? Maybe you love American Literature? Then take Prof. Cara Snider’s ENG241 class. Multiple students of hers said, “She’s the best professor at WVU.” If you love a professor that shows their passion for teaching, then she is your go-to girl. Every rating of hers said she is exciting, passionate and fun. Sounds like your hookup last night.
7-Year-Old Boy Wanders on to Campus for Halloween, Nearly Seals the Deal Little Timothy leaves campus with more condoms than candy.
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Physical education majors: Thank you for wanting to make America healthy again. If you still need to take PET276 then you should choose Prof. Andrea Toliferro. Her students say her enthusiasm is contagious, but class is mandatory and there’s a lot of work. At WVU that usually doesn’t fly, but c’mon fatty, you’re fat. All you communications majors out there, and hey, that’s half the school: if you need to take COMM306 then you should take Prof. Michael Sollitto. If you want to see anyone excited about communications, this guy is the one. His students say that he knows much about his field, so you know he isn’t one of those professors who can’t teach worth a damn. One student even hints that you should mention his favorite baseball team, the Atlanta Braves, for reasons unknown. Maybe you’ll get some extra credit.
what’s inside
Halloween’s Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes... For Men
There is such a major as leadership? Apparently so, and if you are one of those lucky few then you should take LEAD201 with Prof. Lisa Defrank. That is, if you want to have a fantastic time learning the principles of leadership. Her students say that she makes everything fun and easy, kind of like that too-tan bimbo at the club the other night. You’d think that a leadership major is already easy, but apparently she makes this easier than a walk in the park; you’ll learn to lead with little to no effort. If you didn’t see a class on here that you need, then jump on ratemyprofessor.com and get at it. It’s also helpful to get on there and vent about those horrible professors that shouldn’t be allowed to walk into a classroom. Help your fellow peers, you will be changing the world one happy student at a time. Plus, you can say nasty things about that bitch professor who gave you an “F” just because you were drunk during the exam.
Bartender of the week
Women shouldn’t have all the fun this year!
Look for John from Rock Top dressed as the Ultimate Party Animal this weekend.
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contents
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
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page 5: The Top Ten People to Avoid Downtown We’ve all seen these people... in fact, you’re probably one of them!
page 6: From the streets
Table of
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
page 7: sHalloween Costume Guide: The Skank-O-Meter Where does your costume this year fall?
page 10: The Burnout Blues There’s no light at the end of this tunnel, just a cold, sad winter.
page 14: halloween bingo!
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how many skanks can you spot out and about?
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Charlize Theron & Paul Newman
word of the week Internpreter:
Colloquial term for a career center worker trained in parsing the vague language found in internship job postings.
“The internpreter I went to told me that ‘for class credit’ is just a nice way of saying an internship is unpaid.”
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7-Year-Old Boy Wanders on to Campus for Halloween, Nearly Seals the Deal WVU Staff wrote this Timothy Collins, age seven, found himself in the middle of campustown late Wednesday night after being separated from his older brother. Timothy, a resident of Morgantown, was out trick-or-treating with his sibling when Matthew, age twelve, complained that his little brother was slowing him down saying, “The good candy will be all gone by the time we get there.” Matthew allegedly ran ahead of his brother until he was out of view. “The little snot,” as referred to by Matthew, then began to wander west towards campus until he found himself on High Street. Timothy began to notice the alcohol-to-candy ratio rapidly increasing after he crossed Wiley Street. He began to feel uneasy after being heckled by several passersby, while some threw halfempty beer bottles at Timothy’s feet. “I thought that dude was just some freshman looking for a party to sneak into or something,” Jeremy Singer, a junior in communications remarked after he reportedly called Timmy a “chubby little douchenugget.” After being shoed away by several doormen and even receiving a wristband at one bar, Timothy ventured away from what he called “the scary people street” and made his way south where he attempted to resume trick-or-treating. “No one gave me much candy, but I got a fun-sized Jose Cuervo and half of a Jimmy John’s Sandwich. I don’t know what either of those things are.”
a witch, and a Teletubby who showed me her boobies. They all smelled like my Uncle Tony after Thanksgiving.” As Timothy continued along his way he was accosted by several men on the rooftop of a fraternity house. John Walker, senior in chemistry remarked, “Yeah we saw this tiny skeleton walking down Belmar Ave, and we all thought, ‘holy crap, is that a dwarf?’ Right then we knew we needed that little bastard at our party.” Timothy, was invited into the party but was stopped at the door by one of the brothers. “Yeah, the guy at the front said that they’re a top house, and if I tell people I’m a brother I can get any job I want and any girl I want. There’s nothing I can’t have. Mommy said those guys are what she calls ‘tools’,” Timothy explained about the encounter. Inside the party Timothy searched for candy but unfortunately for him his efforts were in vain. “They didn’t have any candy, but I did find a lot of plastic tubes that smelled like skunks and a whole box of little balloons called Magnums.” Timothy wandered about the dance floor where, according to eyewitnesses, several fraternity brothers lifted him up to crowd surf. Due to his reported “coolness” he was invited upstairs for a VIP party in one of the brother’s rooms. In this room was where Timothy ran into Jennifer Rawlings, freshman in communication and reported mattress queen of the fraternity house. “I remember this cute guy walking in dressed up as a skeleton,
and I figured that since none of the other brothers will touch me anymore I’d try my chances with him,” Jennifer commented. According to reports she took Timothy to an empty room and attempted to flirt with him, but was unsuccessful when Timothy remarked that she was icky and had cooties. Upon exiting the room moments later, several fraternity brothers cheered for Timothy because, reportedly, “someone had finally blue-balled that bitch.” Timothy was then handed a formal bid by the president and was invited to play some ultimate Frisbee at noon the next day. It was shortly after this incident that police arrived on the scene and busted the party. The police discovered Timothy and thought it was just an innocent misunderstanding, but were forced to place the child under arrest for having several grams of marijuana in his trick-or-treating bag.
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Timothy encountered several other drunken individuals as he made his way from apartment to apartment. “I saw a Pikachu,
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Halloween’s Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes… for Men
The Top 10
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People to Avoid Downtown
WVU Staff wrote this WVU is notorious for its partying. If you’re a cool kid, you’re always found downtown on Friday night. You can hit up a bar, club, or house party for a good time. Within all of these recreational areas are people who should be avoided to keep your party spirit going.
There’s always that one sourpuss who complains about how revealing women’s costumes are come Halloween, but let’s be serious here: No level of white knighted-ness is going to stop girls from partaking in such a rousing night of mini-skirts, bunny ears, or nothing at all. But with so many scantily clad sailors, soldiers and nurses, Halloween is growing a little stale on the female front. Here are some costume ideas for men so they can spice things up with that one night where guys can just be slutty for a change: Male French Maid: Lace up a dude with heels, stockings, a blouse, and a little hat, and you’ve got yourself a bona fide French manservant who isn’t afraid to “get into those tight corners.” A guy can even add in a feather duster to accentuate his manly arms whilst getting some cleaning done around the apartment. No matter what accessories you tack on, you still won’t have to shave your legs. David Bowie: It’s not cross-dressing, but it’s pretty damn close. If you have the time (and the funds) to turn yourself into the glitter-dazzled, fire red-haired wonder that was 70s Bowie, then there’s no way you wouldn’t be able to get Ziggy with it. With enough androgyny to confuse Boy George, you’ll attract the eyes of both sexes no matter where you go with that skin-tight, god-knows-what-material suit and those sunken cheekbones that scream, “I’m not afraid to be ‘Under Pressure’!” Also, the Bowie Bulge, if any lesser man can manage it, is always a plus. UPS Man: Just to get it out of the way, yes, the endless barrage of your friends drunkenly sputtering, “Do you have a package for me?” and commenting on the thigh high short-shorts is going to grow tiresome, but being a UPS delivery man has way more benefits than simply dropping off the goods. For one, it opens up windows of opportunity such as showing up to parties completely unannounced and at the worst possible time. You could even do something goofy like bringing a Sharpie along to have people “sign for their package” on your skin, which could either be phenomenally hysterical or abysmally traumatizing the next morn-
ing. Think Momento with less important reminders and more poorly-drawn penises. Cupid: If girls can pass off concealing 10% of their skin as a costume, then a guy donning nothing more than a diaper/cheetah-print Speedo and a quiver full of phallic arrows should be acceptable. As the Angel of Love, you may not have the same appeal as a buff Tarzan or the Old Spice guy, but you instead have the responsibility of being one hell of a wingman. Even on Halloween, the line between “hilariously adorable” and “public indecency” is regrettably unclear. Genghis Khan: Was he the best looking ancient warlord? Probably not. But the power dynamic of being a fearsome, tyrannical conqueror of many a nation offers a hefty bit of attraction, but for a guy’s sexual sphere to peak at around 2,000 to 3,000 women, there’s got to be an overlooked tender side to him. It’s either that, or Genghis Khan was just a complete and totally shameless man-whore. The armored costume might not be the most revealing of the night, but using “I’m the sluttiest emperor the Mongolian Empire has ever seen” as a pickup line will definitely cause some swooning. Slutty Abraham Lincoln: He’s America’s favorite sixteenth president and an absolute heartthrob. He may have not had the charisma of Bill Clinton or the spirited charm of JFK, but Abe Lincoln’s “Work hard, play hard” attitude (which was his campaign slogan) stands as the staple for this costumes rugged manliness and political promiscuity. Just toss on a top hat, a fake beard, prosthetic mole, and a pair of button pants with cufflinks, and you’ll be ready to emancipate this proclamation. If things become too risqué, just toss on a hoodie to become Casual Abraham Lincoln, one more focused on just chilling and having a lax time, man. Gentlemen, don’t be afraid to show a little skin this Halloween season. You’ve been hitting the gym hard enough; it’s time to show off what you’ve got. Unless you’ve already gained more than your freshman fifteen this early on in the year. In that case, just stay out of our sight, please.
10.) Captain Pathetic: He’s just your average buff-flat-billed-hat-sports-jersey-baggy-jeanshuge-bling-earring-wearing guy. Extreme gelled hair and tats of his last name are a given. When the black lights go off, he can be spotted by identifying the oversized white sunglasses that he stole from his little sister. He is the epitome of a desperate college wanna-be. 9.) Woman of uneasy virtue: A part-time whore. She’s not always this way but when the weekend rolls around, she has one thing on her mind. She’ll be found in tight and low-cut clothing. It’s not that she wears too much make-up, she just smashed her face into a crayon box. She’ll be dancing on every guy she can get her legs around. 8.) The creep: He’s that guy who’s always alone, kind of smelly, and has a distancing glare in his eye. He always approaches women who are either in small groups or by themselves. Usually ignored, every once in a while he will find a chick who’s drunk enough to dance. After the dance, he will follow her around the rest of the night. 7.) Miss Desperate: The single older lady who is trying too hard. She’s dancing too hard and laughing too loud, while staring down every guy who happens to look her way. She’s usually the one who ends up going home with the creep. 6.) The drunk: A typical “college guy.” He may be wearing a dirty t-shirt, have a sloppy hairdo and has been through the drink-puke-drink-puke process multiple times previous to the evening’s activities. He will end the night napping on a sidewalk or in the emergency room. 5.) Homeless: Those people of less fortune who beg for money. On a normal day, it’s easy to walk by and say “No” but while intoxicated, sometimes it’s just enough to hand them the rest of your cash so you can’t eat at Pita Pit later on. 4.) Freshmen: Usually one of two things: obnoxious or beggars. They go downtown with a group, not having a clue what they’re getting themselves into. The girls end up going home with someone and the guys end up spending their money faster than a Bugatti, and start asking random people for extra cash. 3.) Gangsters: No one likes having their night ruined by seeing someone die. If you see that person standing in a dark alley with baggy clothes, avoid them at all costs. 2.) Smooth talkers: Those people who that can walk up to anyone, give them a smile and recite a well-rehearsed speech about something they want, whether it’s cash or pussy. 1.) The law: Anyone in a uniform including: city police, state police, university police and ABC. You know why.
Tiffany Benson wrote this
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? “I’d live on an island in the Caribbean because I like to scuba dive.” - Lindsey
“I would live on the beach where I can enjoy the sun; it rains all the time in Morgantown.” - Sydney
“I would live in Florida because I love the tropical weather and there is so much to do.” - Ismael
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)
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Halloween Costume Guide: The Skank-O-Meter WVU Staff wrote this It’s that time of year again, and Halloween is just around the corner. There’s certainly a lot to look forward to: pumpkin carving, scary movies, and, of course, really slutty costumes! But it’s often hard to tell if a girl’s super skanky costume translates into you getting laid or them having daddy issues. After all, Halloween is the one day of the year when even the most conservative chicks at least pretend that they’re up for anything, and manage to do a pretty convincing job. So, how do you tell if she’s a good girl playing bad or if she wants to treat you and lick that Blowpop? Spoiler alert: It’s all in the costume.
Level Three: French Maid. This is the level that brings us to official slut status. Your odds of getting some with the French Maid are significantly higher than with the aforementioned Nurse. By wearing this costume, she’s totally broadcasting the right vibes, but be wary. As much of a ho as she may seem, the majority of her body is probably still covered. Not a great sign, but go for it anyways. Just be sure to approach with necessary caution, she may be into some weird stuff with that feather duster.
Level Five: Slutty Monster. This is a dead giveaway for a goodie-two-shoes playing dress up. Honestly, how slutty can Frankenstein or his bride get? The answer is not very. Monsters are scary, no matter how much cleavage you show. Who thinks of zombies and sex simultaneously? Nobody, unless you’re into necrophilia. Nice try, “slutty ghoul,” you’ve been spotted as the straight-edge kid that you are.
Level Two: Naughty Schoolgirl. Now we’re getting somewhere. This one is classically not classy. Us ladies are smarter than we’re given credit for, and we know that the schoolgirl look will get us the extra-curriculars we’re after. We know men aren’t idiots, so the ass-skimming skirt and pigtails are a certified win. As soon as she whips out the plaid skirt, it’s a pretty solid sign that she’s open to letting you NutRageous all over her Mounds as she screams in Almond Joy.
Level Four: Nurse, Firewoman, or Policewoman. Does she look sexy? More than likely. Is her outfit made entirely of pleather? Probably. But don’t be fooled, no matter how much T & A she’s showing she’s still dressed up as a gainfully employed woman of society. That inner feminist streak that some women have just can’t be hidden no matter how hard they try. She’s probably no Clean Cut Sally, but she’s smarter, and less likely to munch on dudes’ Whoppers while they lick her Bit-O-Honey than your average Hallo-whore.
Level One: Bunny. Let’s be honest, this isn’t a costume. She put on underwear, ears, and a tail, and called it good. This lady DTH (down to hop) into your sack for sure. Think about it. It’s October, which means it’s cold as fuck outside. She had the lady balls to tug on a (probably) too-tight corset monstrosity, did her makeup, straightened her hair, and found ears and a tail to pin on. On top of all of that, the woman shaved her legs. That’s a whole lot of effort, my friends. She has braved the elements in her “costume,” and that means
that she is on one mission and one mission only. For her dedication, we salute her. She’s definitely on the prowl and ready to have 3 Musketeers (or just three dudes dressed like musketeers) Skor with her in the McDonald’s bathroom. There you have it, folks, the 5 Level Skank-O-Meter Guide to having a wild and weird Halloween. Good luck out there, ladies and gentlemen, and here’s to hoping you find your own Level One (or at least a decent Level Two). Or some candy corn.
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SATURDAY: Tailgate in the Red Zone Before the Game! $0.50 wings and $1 Drafts Open at 11
FRIDAY & SATURDAY: Crazy in Stereo - Live!
FRIDAY & SATURDAY $3 Wells, $2 Can Beer No Cover Before 10pm
WED: College Night! 18 to party, 21 to drink $0.25 Drafts $.50 Mixed Drinks $2 Bottles
$0.25 Cent Pitchers 9-11 Everyday!!
THURS. 10/25
NFL & NCAA in the Red Zone 8 - 11: $5 Pizzas, Beer and Champagne, $4.50 L.I.T. and SCORE and POUR. Party on the deck with Lacy Neff! Beer and Champagne till 11. 11-cl: $2 Bottles and $3 Call Drinks
$2 Italian Ice Shots $2 Domestic Bottles $2 Mix Drinks
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2 for 1’s All Night (Including Premiums) No Cover
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FRI. 10/26
5-8 Happy Hour in the Red Zone: 1/2 Price Apps & 2-4-1 Drinks Willey’s 9-11: $2 Bottles and $3 Call Drinks No cover before 10.
$.99 Natty Pitchers $2 Mix Drinks $3 Cherry and Grape Bombs
52 Pickup - Live! $0.25 Cent Pints $2 Mixed Drinks
$3 Wells, $2 Can Beer No Cover Before 10pm
$3 Night! Applesauce, Grape Bombs, Long Island Iced Tea, Jack Daniels, Jager Bombs and Washington Apples!
SAT. 10/27
Tailgate in the Red Zone Before the Game! $0.50 wings and $1 Drafts Open at 11
$.99 Natty Pitchers $2 Italian Ice Shots $2 Tequila Shots
52 Pickup - Live! Halloween party with costume party! 2-4-1 Everything!
$3 Wells, $2 Can Beer No Cover Before 10pm
Miami EDM Night! $2 Bottles, $2 Shot of the Night, $3 Liquid Cocaine, Ecstasy Red Bull and Vodkas, Purple Haze
SUN. 10/28
Sunday Football Funday in the Red Zone! Every NFL game in HD! $5 Pitchers and Homemade BBQ Food Specials
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The Burnout Blues
theblacksheeponline.com
WVU STAFF wrote this
Burnout: adj. The direct result of taking college classes at West Virginia University for more than 6 weeks. Often accompanied by depression, anxiety, and an “I don’t give a shit” mentality. It’s that feeling that washes over us every semester. It’s the thing that makes us not want to get out of bed. It’s the reason why our grades suck and why we just don’t seem to really care. It’s burnout. A term synonymous with drugaddicts and college students. Schoolwork is draining, we’re tired, and trying not to flunk out before winter break takes more effort than we really care to put in. We can try to combat the seasonal laziness, but it’s easier not to. We can try to set our alarm clocks for 6:00 a.m., make a to-do list with everything we need to get done, and set our coffee makers to have a cup ready for us in the morning, but nothing helps this depression. Even if we were to muster the energy to shower, wear something other than sweatpants and a R.E.M. t-shirt (It’s super comfortable, and not ironic at all), we would find ourselves sitting in an underpopulated lecture hall playing a Mario Kart 64 emulator instead of taking notes, or even paying attention. There are, unfortunately, some things we can do that give us a little motivation to get back into the swing of school. Give Ma and Pa a call, they’ll love it and you might just realize that
Halloween color
they have high expectations of you, you’re there child and you want to be the best you can be for them. You could walk around Morgantown, and if that doesn’t make you realize that an education will help you avoid places like this, you’re probably already a convicted felon. And if you can’t rekindle that motivation to actually attend class, oh well. We’ve got less than 2 months left, you can bullshit your way through, it’s the one thing you’re good at, after all. The best thing we can do is to embrace the burnout. Spending all our energy to try to achieve the impossible is illogical, we could be using that energy to watch YouTube videos, sleep, or practice sitting on a couch because that’s where our life is going. But hey, it’s a good life. Sure, our books and folders will be staring at us, asking us why we haven’t read chapters 14-29, answered the discussion questions, or really why we haven’t done anything even semiproductive. We don’t need that stress right now, we’re in a delicate state. Shove those books in the closet and take a nap, it’s hard work doing things, you deserve it. Burnout usually begins to fade right around December. The shock of possibly failing out of school gives us just enough energy to get through our exams and not be asked to leave and have to file an appeal with the university so that you can return, I mean, that’s what I think would happen, not that I would know.
Burnout happens to everyone, or at least the interesting people. If you can avoid it, you’re an overachieving jerk who’s making everyone else feel bad, so stop it. If you’re like most and more susceptible to feelings of drowsiness, laziness, and overall boredom, there’s really no use fighting it; it’s a disease and sick people need rest. Take a nap, go to class to change things up a little bit, do something other than read for 14 hours a day. Don’t forget, burnout happens every semester.
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the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
bartender of the week John Rock Top Major: MDS
shots. The tab equaled $600 at the end of the night.
What’s so great about Rock Top: There is a different atmosphere with the roof top bar, the cool DJs, and the hot tubs. What’s the most popular drink served on a Friday or Saturday night: Beer! But vodka Red Bulls as a close second.
The best way to get a bartender’s attention: Eye contact. If you yell, you’re the last to get anything. Favorite part about bartending: I get to experiment and make up my own drinks. Also, meeting new people.
Best nights to work: Fridays are the best night to work but the most fun night is Thursday with our keg party. Cheap drinks, fun people, and a good time.
Favorite drink to make: Trashcan. And anything that will get the customer the most wasted.
The craziest thing that has ever happened when you as a bartender: A group of guys bet another guy in the group they couldn’t get his tab to $300. When they did, the kid with the tab had to buy the bar a round of
What do you plan to be for Halloween: I plan on being the Joker from The Dark Knight and the Ultimate Party Animal. It comes with a beer belt and a big monkey head.
the drinking game
hocus pocus For anyone who ever had an ounce of a real childhood, October is all about the Thirteen Nights of Halloween on ABC Family. Between sexy high school virgins and Sarah Jessica Parker as a witch, Hocus Pocus is bound to get anyone going. What You’ll Need: Beer and Hocus Pocus. Number of Players: As many as you can get. Everyone loves it, shouldn’t be too hard. Level of Intoxication: Great game to a get an early night buzz going. How to Play: - Sit back with some brewskies and watch Hocus Pocus. Anytime something on this list appears in the film, you must drink your beer for a few seconds. - Drink when: - A spell is cast. - Sarah Jessica Parker sings. - Someone mentions a virgin. - The black flame candle is mentioned. - Binks (in cat or human form) says “Emily.” - Max gets bullied. - Bette Midler says “sisters.” - Sarah Jessica Parker flirts. - The magic book’s eye moves. - If someone forgets to drink, they must shotgun a new can of beer. The Game Ends When: Spoiler Alert: The witches turn to stone! Shotgun your last beer, and enjoy the rest of the magical night.
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Recipe for Disaster
pumpk’n pudd’n ‘Tis the season for jack o’ lanterns and stealing candy out of the hands of little, helpless children (okay, we’re not that heartless. We leave them a Skittle or two). This will put your excess pumpkins to use, in case you have some leftovers after throwing your pumpkin guts at the neighbors. What You’ll Need: A pumpkin, rice, milk, brown sugar, and ground cinnamon. Cook Time: 45 minutes (but it’s well worth the wait!). Fatty Factor: You’ll get a hell of a sugar high but nothing too serious. Let’s Get Baked: - Combine 1 cup of rice, 3 cups of milk, and 1 cup of brown sugar in a saucepan. - Heat and stir until the mixture boils. - Continue to stir until rice is tender and most of the milk is absorbed. - Mix in a separate bowl 1 cup of mashed pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. - Take your new mixture and put it into your heated concoction. - Stir in 1/2 cup of milk until it looks like a pudding mixture. - Let cool or chill in a refrigerator. - Once it’s set, dive on in and enjoy! If you’re trying to get real fancy wit’ it, sprinkle some cinnamon, pecans and whipped cream on top. This pudding will make you feel like you just got laid by someone who actually likes and respects you. No more pity sex, ever!
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Hysterically Hilarious Hurried Halloween Habiliment Helper Start!
gender cat/hippie Slutty hooker/ box robot/ risque bizniz neutral ghost ryan locthe
the interview
the hush sound
The Hush Sound is a Chicago rock band that plays music and has also been known to eat food. After going on hiatus in 2009, they recently announced a reunion tour across the Midwest. To celebrate, we deigned to speak with vocalist and guitarist Bob Morris, as well as vocalist and pianist Greta Morgan. They were nice. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: What brought about The Hush Sound doing a reunion tour after being on hiatus for several years? Bob Morris: It was a perfect storm. We were happy just doing shows together once in a while, but our personal lives just all lined up. Greta and I got back in touch, we’ve grown in some cool ways and we’re all excited to play music together again, so we decided to tour. TBS: When you say, “getting back in touch,” what do you mean by that? Like, what to what degree did you guys stay in touch when you were on hiatus? Bob: Stressing about the break, or without the understanding of what we were, there wasn’t that much communication. Time heals all wounds. We realized that there wasn’t anything actually wrong, it was just issues we created ourselves. The day I quit this other band I instinctually called Greta. She’s like family, even if we were mad at each other at some point. Eventually we started hanging out and playing music, and we decided to do a tour. TBS: What’s it like preparing for a tour when you haven’t played music together regularly for several years? Greta Morgan: We take it on a show-by-show basis. We’ve played a few times a year for the past three years. Whether they were private college shows or hometown Chicago shows, we’ve been getting together, rehearsing the songs. Approaching these old songs, we can find something new in an old lyric, something that’s about our lives now. I mean, I wrote most of these songs before I graduated high school, and we put out our last album when I was 18, I think. TBS: So do you ever look back at your songs and say, “What the hell was I thinking?” Bob: Yes, I do think that sometimes. At the same time, when you say something and you’re young, it’s before you’ve seen anything in the world, so it’s this primal, reactionary thing. I think there’s something special about a band’s first album that is hard to replicate, but as you do it again you get better and better at expressing yourself. TBS: Is there anything where it’s just too embarrassing, where it’s just like, “No way we’re doing this song?” Greta: Oh yeah. Bob: Oh yeah. Greta: That’s what I was saying about finding something new about a song. There are a few songs during rehearsal where Bob would say, “There’s no emotion to your vocals,” but it’s hard to flash back to when you’re 16 so you can feel it. Bob would say, “Try it like it’s an instrument— like you’re a trombone player or it’s a flute.” Bob saying that all of a sudden shows you this old thing in a new way and you can find something new in it. TBS: What do you expect to get out of this short tour? Greta: It’s just an experiment to see how much fun we can have touring and playing together. Also, it’s really exciting to reconnect with fans that saw us in 2005 or 2006, their tastes have changed, as have ours. Beyond that, it’s wild to see these kids all grown up with their husbands or wives or kids. It’s a wild transition. Bob: And to your point about music taking on a new meaning, a friend of ours, Eric from Gold Motel (Ed. Note: Greta’s other band) just tweeted about how music you listen to when you’re 14 to 17 sticks with you. I know what he’s talking about—when I listen to some of the punk I listened to growing up, I think “Man, some of this is really awful.” TBS: Yeah, I know an embarrassing amount of KoRn songs. Speaking of touring, what’s the weirdest venue you’ve played in? Bob: We’ve played in a parking lot of Augusta, Georgia when the promoter didn’t have a PA, and a club in Long Island that had glass showers all around the club. Greta: Yeah, it was a strip club turned into a rock club. It was super-weird. When we started we’d play basements, Legion halls and VFWs. TBS: How do you engage with a crowd when you’re on stage? Greta: It’s really up to the band to start the ignition, but whether or not the audience responds in an excited, unguarded way, or if they stand back and just hang out, that determines how a show will go. Bob: And however potent the ecstasy is that we hand out before the show. TBS: Remind me to stop by your show.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
cloud atlas in theaters october 26
This trippy movie starring Tom Hanks and Halle Berry tells a tale of how your individual actions from way back in the day will effect what happens to you (and others) well into the future, even when “you” aren’t around anymore. Equal parts action, mystery, and romance, this film sees actors negotiate different roles in different points in the movie’s history. They’re the same, but different. Whoa, man, this is deep.
the walking dead sunday, october 28 at 9pm on amc
In the third episode of season three Andrea and Michonne are still struggling through the zombie apocalypse, but they do stumble upon a new community of survivors. Now an epic decision needs to be made; should they stay with them via the whole “power in numbers” philosophy, or should they stick with what they know? #zombieproblems
calvin harris - 18 months in stores october 30
18 Months is the third studio release from Scottish DJ and producer Calvin Harris, the same guy who brought you “Feel So Close,” the whimsical tune about the feelings EDM kids get when they take drugs together and go to a Calvin Harris show. His latest single “Sweet Nothing” features the lovely sounds of Florence Welch, which seems appropriate given the title of the song.
play Halloween bingo! Send in pictures that lead to BINGO and win a prize! Email us at bingo@theblacksheeponline.com
Playboy Bunny
Pirate
French Maid
Cheerleader
Nurse
Beer Wench
Firefighter
Toga
Hippie
Cat woman
School Girl
Pilot
Angel
Bumble Bee
Devil
Ladybug
Police Officer
Girl scout
Sailor
Fairy
Cave Girl
Witch
Disney Princess
Jailbird
the classtime
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Husband: • Rob Zombie • Pinhead • Count von Count • Mike Myers
wedding dinner: • BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!! • Franken Berry • The blood of 1,000 babies
wife: • Elvira, Mistress of the Dark • Carrie White • Roseanne Barr • Samara Morgan
Honeymoon Destination: • Sunny Transylvania • A cabin in the woods • Amityville • The Overlook Hotel
How you die: • By creepy kids • A zombie attack • Becoming possessed • Stabbing. Lots of stabbing.
met at: • A pet sematary •Those hills that have eyes • The house at the end of the street • Camp Crystal Lake
favorite rom-com: • Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness • Troll 2 • Killer Klowns from Outer Space • The Killer Condom
shared tombstone quote: • “ ‘Till death do us fart!” • “We’ll be back.” • “Eh. Have you seen a horror movie?” • “Paging Dr. Frankenstein!”
double date couple: • The Frankensteins • Jack Skellington and Sally • Chucky and his bride • Liver, with fava beans and a nice chianti • Gomez and Morticia Addams
some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever How to play Doodle option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 17TH
at THE RAMADA INN & CONFERENCE CENTER
20 SCOTT AVE., MORGANTOWN, WV | BELL TIME 7PM
6PLUSgreat matches! WATCH MONDAY NIGHT RAW ON 2 HUGE SCREEN TVS and enjoy wing and drink specials
GET YOUR TICKETS NOW! CALL 304-276-5336
$15 in Advance, $20 at the Door, Children Under 10 Only $5
WWE LEGEND “MR. USA” TONY ATLAS
WWE STAR & SON OF THE LEGEND “THE BRITISH BULLDOG” DAVID HART SMITH
the classtime spooky movies
Scream
jaws
dracula
pyscho
the haunting
the exorcist
blair witch project
godzilla
poltergeist
paranormal activity
the ring
saw
halloween
anaconda
nightmare on elm street
white noise frakenstein
the shining
the grudge
aliens silence of the lambs
WEDNESDAY College Night. 18 to party 21 to drink .25c drafts, .50c mix drinks $2 bottles
THURSDAY Ladies Night FREE COVER FOR GIRL 2X1 mixed drinks
FRIDAY
$2 shot of the night
$3 Night!
$1 drafts
Applesauce, grape bombs,long island iced tea, jack daniels, jager bombs and Washington apples! SATURDAY MIAMI EDM NIGHT $2 bottles $2 Shot of the night$3 Liquid cocaine, Ecstasy Red bull and vodkas, Purple haze
LOCATED BEHIND CASA D’AMICI !