The High Road: Guam's Guide to Elevating Your Life | June 2010

ALL-NEW RIDE: The Exciting 2010 Ford F150 STX | Page 4 JUNE 2010 — GUAM’S GUIDE TO ELEVATING YOUR LIFE | LIVING | FITNESS | STYLE | TECH | STRONGER MIND + BODY www.highroadmagazine.com

- YOUR STORIES: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON - RAISING MULTIPLE KIDS ON A SINGLE SALARY - DRESS LIKE A MODERN DAD

publisher’s post 6.10

DAD WAS MY ROLE MODEL My dad, Gorgonio, like many Filipinos from his generation chose a style of parenting characterized by few words.

He never said, “I love you,” or “I’m proud of you.” Instead, evidence that he cared for our family was displayed through his tireless efforts to put food on the table and to create a secure, happy home.

Dad was very practical, so we didn’t go to fancy restaurants. Instead, when we had an occasion to celebrate, we’d catch mud crabs (Alimango). With bamboo traps on our backs, we’d trek through sword grass and tangan tangan trees to reach his favorite mangrove spots. Back then, crabbing was a chore. In retrospect, however, it has influenced me to become resourceful and willing to sweat to achieve my goals.

As we prepare to honor fathers in the June issue of The High Road, I found it timely to reminisce about my own dad. And in turn, share how he has shaped me into the man, and father of two, that I am today.

My father was raised on a small farm in the Philippine province of Iloilo — where his life was filled with hardship and poverty. His arrival on Guam through Camp Roxas in the 1960’s gave him a fighting chance to raise a family under better conditions.

Dad taught me many things by setting examples instead of delivering lengthy lectures. As a young boy, he introduced me to the importance of reliability by making me feed and water his fighting roosters and hens. I dreaded my duty because the chickens often struck at my hands.

So, I tried to abandon my tasks to avoid getting pecked. Yet, every time I skipped a feeding, the hungry fowls would squawk loudly in their coops and cause a commotion.

Of course, my father wasn’t happy when this happened. He emphasized to me that when you fail to fulfill your obligations — even the unpleasant ones — there’ll be worse consequences to deal with.

PUBLISHER Norman Analista EDITOR & DESIGNER Carlo Cariño WRITERS Leo Babauta Kat Barnett Maria Cenzon, Esq. Dave Currie, Ph. D. Marylou Dulay, M.D. Jill Espiritu Steve Oshiro Suzanne Perez Dave Ramsey PHOTOGRAPHY Eugene C. Herrera PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Raphon Apiag PUBLISHED BY Triple J Creative Services

When dad lay on his deathbed in the summer of 1991, he was 71 years old, and I was 16. For reasons I’ll never know, he could identify other family members, but not me. In essence, the manner in which we parted ways has become a lesson in and of itself — never take things for granted. I could’ve told dad I was proud to be his son, but I never did.

When my father left this earth, he didn’t earn impressive credentials nor amassed material wealth. Yet, I respect and admire him, because he was hardworking, he had integrity, and his family was his number one priority. While I never heard the words I longed to hear, his lifetime of actions have proven — without question —that he was truly devoted to us. And to me, that’s what matters the most.

In closing, happy Father’s Day to all dads! And once again, thanks for taking The High Road!

Sincerely,

FOR ADVERTISING INQUIRIES CONTACT: Tel: 648-6081 Fax: 649-3679 marketing@triplejguam.com THE HIGH ROAD Vol. 1 No. 7 is published 12 times per year (monthly)

by Triple J Creative Services, 157 South Marine Corps Drive Tamuning, Guam 96913; (671) 646-9126. Copyright 2010

by Triple J Creative Services. All rights reserved. The reporting in THE HIGH ROAD is meant to increase your knowledge in various areas of life and well-being.

Because everyone is different, the ideas expressed and research shared cannot be used to diagnose or treat individual health or other problems. Seek professional help.

The views expressed in this publication are the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of Triple J Creative Services, its staff, management or its Board of Directors.

Triple J Creative Services makes no representation concerning and does not guarantee the source, originality, accuracy, completeness or reliability of any statement, information, data, finding, interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

definition: the high road also high·road n. The most positive, diplomatic, or ethical course. http://www.highroadmagazine.com

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rides rides 5.10 6.10

4 4 THE THE HIGH HIGH ROAD ROAD JUNE JUNE 2010 2010

you’ll never regret 6.10

CONNECTING FOR LIFE: MAKE THE MOST OF MOMENTS THAT MATTER

By Dave Currie, Ph. D.

Ever heard the saying, “A little goes a long way?”

It’s true.

These little things include what is said and done in even a few seconds of your life.

Moments matter even more in a marriage. Words can kill, or words can bring life all in a flash. Your choices draw you closer to your mate or they create distance. Words declare a welcome or drive in a wedge.

It’s up to you and it happens in a moment.

Everyday there are recurring events that we all could capitalize on. These are moments that will really matter with your mate.

The better you handle these times, the stronger the connection. The more you make of these minutes, the deeper the friendship will be. This is how love grows.

Let’s look at four times in a day when there’s a chance to connect with your spouse. Used well, they set the tone for the day and are the heart of creating a satisfying and lasting marriage. The four moments are: “good morning,” “goodbye,” “hello,” and, “good night.” They are the first and last moments of the interchange in your lives.

They are consistent opportunities that most of us miss. Let’s

6 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

YOU’LL NEVER REGRET PUTTING YOUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY FIRST ESPECIALLY IN THE MOMENTS THAT MATTER connect better by focusing on the moments that matter.

MAXIMIZE THE GOOD MORNING MOMENT At the first sign of life, you can set the tone for the day. If your mate is awake, pull them close.

Say nothing at first; just be in each other’s arms. Think through your first words. Be intentional with your commitment to love. Even if they are sleeping, let your first gestures be acts of kindness. Leave tracks

of your love, such as turning on the coffee or putting toothpaste on their toothbrush. My wife and I do that. Also, try leaving short notes on the counter, dresser or mirror. Work hard to start the day without negative, critical words. Remember, each day is a fresh start to love better.

What if they are still sleeping when you are leaving? Is it more of a sign of love to kiss them goodbye and risk waking them or better to show love by not disturbing them? Let

your spouse make this call — ask them.

MAINTAIN A GOODBYE ROUTINE At some point each day, you will go your separate ways.

Your spouse’s departure needs to take precedence over other things at least for a few minutes. No matter who is heading out first, establish a goodbye routine. With my sweetheart who is vertically challenged, we meet at the steps by the front

door so our farewell kiss and hug will be face-to-face. Whether there are questions about the day or just words of encouragement, use the moment to wrap your love around the heart of your mate. This closeness gives them strength for the day and an anchor that draws them back to you. Tell the kids what you are doing, “I’ll be right back, I want to say goodbye to your father.”

It’s great modeling. Try a 10-second hug — actually count in your head if needed. Linger with them.

Let your arms say I am there for you. Research shows that kissing your mate goodbye as you leave causes you to live five years longer and have a higher standard of living. So, stop what you are doing, embrace, kiss and make your last words, good words.

MAGNIFY THE REUNION HELLO At some point you will reconnect again. It’s time to make their day! Both of you should stop whatever you are doing and think ‘my spouse is my priority.’ It is just as much the responsibility of the one coming in the door, as it is the one inside it. Both need to lay down the issues of the day for the reunion.

Welcome each other warmly. Be as upbeat as possible for these first few minutes. Your actions are saying, “It’s good to see you, I missed you.” Don’t discuss the hurdles of the day — this is NOT the time.

My babe has started to hurry to the door when I announce, “I’m home,” and the smiles, the teasing and the laughter begins. We hug and kiss like we are meeting at the airport. One friend said, “I don’t want the dogs to be happier to see him than me,” and without fail, she stops what she is doing to run, embrace, and kiss her man. He says that coming home is the best part of his day. No kidding.

MASTER THE GOOD NIGHT FINALE It’s time to turn out the lights for the day. Make this moment count too. Try to go to bed together as part of your attempt to stay

connected. This is a big bonus to your relationship so even if one is a night owl, aim at going to bed at the same time five of seven nights of the week. If one feels the need to go to bed earlier, they should initiate the closure of the day. If one wants to stay up beyond the usual time, they should stop what they are doing to take time to say good night and connect appropriately.

We have made it a practice that every night we pray together. Braiding God into our lives has kept our marriage strong. The finale always includes saying, “Good night, I love you,” and a kiss.

Remember, you’ll never regret putting your marriage and family first especially in the moments that matter. This will help you stay connected for life.

Pass this article along to someone who needs to maximize their moments and come back again for more truth that challenges relationships. Love to hear from you. ■

Dr. Dave Currie, as a Marriage and Family educator, counselor and sought after international speaker, is known as America’s TV Relationship Coach. He hosts Marriage Uncensored. He has been a welcome guest on Guam on four occasions. He and his wife live in the Pacific Northwest.

Send your questions about life and relationships to Dr. Dave at dr.davecurrie@ shaw.ca or visit his website at www.doingfamilyright. com for great resources on marriage and family.

Follow Dr. Dave on Twitter – www.twitter.com/ drdavecurrie .

dining dining outout 5.10 6.10

Fine Dining at its Best! This describes the Pacific Island Club’s award-winning restaurant, Bistro.

Surrounded by breathtaking views of Tumon Bay and Two Lover’s Point, Bistro features upscale fixtures, white table linens and napkins, and wait staff who greet customers with a smile. Bistro is just one of ten restaurants located within the Pacific Island’s Club hotel.

The restaurant first opened its doors in Guam ten years ago and business is still going strong, according to Executive Chef Rey Dasalla.

The Bistro offers a wide variety of contemporary American cuisine with Asian and Mediterranean influences. The Bistro provides an elegant and pleasant atmosphere with a magnificent view overlooking Tumon Bay and the PIC’s water park.

Chef Dasalla is responsible for the overall operation of the Culinary Department.

Bistro offers weekly specials at affordable prices. “We do weekly lunch specials from Monday through Friday featuring four kinds of chef’s lunch specials. We also do five kinds of salads such as Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Spinach Salad, Chicken Caesar Salad, Prime Rib Panini Sandwiches, and many more,” he said. “For dinner, we do offer a combination of Filet Mi-

A BOUNTY AT BISTRO FINE DINING MEETS AFFORDABILITY

By Suzanne Zahnen Perez

10THE 8 THEHIGH HIGHROAD ROADJUNE JUNE2010 2010

IMAGES OF TASTE Above Left: Roasted vegetable lasagna and baked ricotta-spinach stuffed puff pastry with marinara sauce.

Far left: Lump crab cake served with a red pepper coulis & baby leek fondue.

Center left: Pistachio nut crusted salmon filet with raspberry cabernet buerre blanc.

Center Right: Miso-infused and sakeglazed rib-eye steak served with a soy reduction. The Bistro only serves Certified Angus Beef® brand steaks.

Right: Chicken Marsala. Boneless, skinless chicken breast sautéed and deglazed in marsala white wine served with forest mushrooms.

Above right: Seafood crusted Maine lobster and seafood ravioli served with lemon butter sauce.

gnon and Lobster Tail, and Peppered New York steak with Peppercorn Cream Sauce.”

For those who have to have an appetizer, Dasalla said the more popular ones are the baked Escargot, Crab Cake, and Seared Ahi Tuna Tataki Napoleon. Personally, Dasalla’s favorite menu items include the Bay Shrimp and Surimi Crab Crusted Salmon with Boursin Cheese Buerre Blanc, and Rack of Lamb with Port Mini Demi.

A meal is not complete without dessert.

Restaurant patrons can indulge in Crème Brulee Samplers (classic vanilla, raspberry, mocha or mango), Banana Fosters (flambé banana with vanilla ice cream), Brownie ala Mode, or Japanese Cheese Cake with fresh fruit.

Bistro has a seating capacity of 118. With Father’s day right around the corner, it will be wise to call ahead of time to make a reservation. And, since Father’s day falls on a Sunday, Dasalla said he will be offering his “famous” Sunday brunch. Sunday brunch is $42 for adults and $21 for children plus service charge. There are two seatings: 10:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m.

The Bistro is located on the lobby level of the PIC hotel. To make a reservation, you may call 646-9171. ■

finances 6.10

Ask Dave:

GIVE YOUR KIDS A FINANCIAL HEAD START

by Dave Ramsey

DEAR DAVE, I’m a single father with a 14-year-old daughter. I want to teach her to avoid the financial mistakes I’ve made.

Do you think I should open a checking account with a debit card for her? I think the practice in dealing with money before she gets out on her own would be good for her. — Paul

DEAR PAUL, Getting your daughter a checking account with a debit card is a good idea at some point. But I’d suggest that you first give her a year or two to deal solely with cold, hard cash.

Have her create four envelopes, one each for giving, saving, entertainment, and miscellaneous spending.

Then, anytime she earns some money, she can divide it up and put some into each of the envelopes. Once she’s done this for a while and you’re both comfortable with the situation, then you can think about opening a checking account for her.

The problem with giving her a checking account right off the bat is that the money is all lumped together. There’s no division between the concepts of giving, saving, and spending.

These are some pretty important things she needs to learn while she’s being educated about money. Also, when the time is right and she can handle the responsibility of a checking account, make sure you work with her every month in balancing her checkbook. Sit down with her, one on one, and help walk her through the process.

This will reinforce the idea that it’s a necessary part of handling money properly. After a few months she’ll get the hang of it 10 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

and be able to do it on her own.

And it will also give you peace of mind that she’s taking care of her checking account the right way! — Dave ............................................

DEAR DAVE, My mom filed bankruptcy about five years ago, and I thought that taught her a lesson. She’s on disability now, and makes only $600 a month.

On top of all this, she’s piled up about $30,000 in credit card debt again. She’s even paid her utility bills and bought groceries with credit cards. I don’t know what to do. — Barbara ............................................

DEAR BARBARA, She can’t file bankruptcy again, because it’s still too close to the date of her first filing. It sounds to me like she’s going to

have to face up to what she’s done, and make some serious behavior changes.

The kind of stuff she’s doing is not only addictive, it’s selfdestructive.

She’s trading a moment of pleasure for years of pain while that credit card bill grows into a monster!

Personal finance isn’t rocket science. It’s 80 percent behavior, and 20 percent math.

Plus, there are plenty of agencies out there that help disabled people find jobs, and help them remain active and productive in the workplace. When it comes to work, disabled doesn’t always mean unable. It’s amazing what people with disabilities can do, but the hard truth is that she’s still going to have to find a way to get her income up and cut her outgoing money way down.

She can turn this thing around, Barbara. But it’s going to take some persistence on your part to help make it happen. — Dave ............................................

DEAR DAVE, A while back I filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Then, not long ago I saw an article saying the best way to re-establish credit after a bankruptcy is to find

a low-limit credit card, make small purchases, then pay it off early each month. I’d like to buy a home in a few years, so what do you think of this advice?

— Kim

DEAR KIM, That’s just about the worst advice I’ve ever heard. People file bankruptcy because they got themselves so far into debt they couldn’t get out. If debt has already pushed you into bankruptcy, then don’t you think debt is something you should avoid? Whoever wrote that article is a real bozo!

First of all, don’t worry about re-establishing your credit. If you go three or four years after bankruptcy without borrowing a dime, then you’ll add no new entries to your credit bureau report. This will help show a potential mortgage lender that you learned from your mistakes the first time around.

Getting another credit card after all you’ve been through would be really dumb.

You can’t borrow your way out of debt or into wealth, Kim. If you want to see different results you’ll have to change your behavior! —Dave. ■ D a v e Ramsey is a personal money managem e n t expert, popular national radio personality and the author of three New York Times best sellers – The Total Money Makeover, Financial Peace Revisited and More Than Enough. In them, Ramsey exemplifies his life’s work of teaching others how to be financially responsible. For more information visit www.daveramsey. com.

fitness 6.10

12 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

FATHERHOOD SPECIAL 6.10

Profiles by Jill Espiritu

Michael Benito

Payless Supermarkets, General Manager Father: the late Roy Benito Wife and children: Marie; Aubrey – 24 years old; Alyssa – 22 years old; Brianna - 17 years old; Jake - 12 years old

IN THIS SECTION: -

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON BALANCE WORK AND FAMILY TOPPLING BARRIERS SETTING AN EXAMPLE SOCIAL STUDIES: DAD EDITION GIFT GUIDE RAISING A FAMILY ON A BUDGET THERE’S AN APP FOR DAD DRESS LIKE A MODERN DAD

14 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

Although Michael Benito worked for his father at Pedro’s Market for about three years, he didn’t initially think he would follow in his father’s footsteps and stay in the grocery store business.

“I wanted to be a pediatrician growing up,” Michael says. “When I came back to Guam and started to work for Payless (Supermarkets), my grocery store DNA real-

ly started to kick in and here I am.”

Michael’s father, the late Roy Benito, worked at Pedro’s Market for 25 years and was the store’s general manager. Michael is currently the general manager for Payless Supermarkets and has used some of his father’s wisdom in his day to day dealings at the local supermarket chain.

“What my father taught me can be brought to any industry – and should be,” he says.

“Managers must treat their employees with a great deal of respect.

Employees should know their value to the company and what is expected of them. When you do, great things happen.”

Additionally, Michael picked up some good traits from his father that are applicable to both his professional and personal life. “My father was extremely organized and very good with numbers,” he explains. “We didn’t have a lot of money — there were 9 kids — ­­­ but he always seemed to have everything under control.”

He adds, “My father was extremely responsible. Bills get paid on time, everything needed to be in order.”

Roy was also a good listener. Michael looked to him when he had questions or concerns — not necessarily to get answers but to discuss issues openly with him. Through this method, Michael was able to come up with his own solutions.

The younger Benito respected his father and is beginning to emulate his traits in many ways. But, he still wishes he had even more of his father’s persona. “I’m a bit louder than he was. I kind of wish I had his temperament a little,” he adds.

Roy was well-respected within the family and amongst his peers. “My father was extremely respectful to people,” he says. “He didn’t take more than what he deserved, he didn’t wish ill-will on anyone. He was a true gentleman and I don’t think you will find anyone with negative things to say about him.”

“HE WAS A TRUE GENTLEMAN”

Cesar Cabot, Esq. Cabot, Mantanona, LLP, Partner Father: Gonnie E. Cabot Wife and children: Tiffany Dela Cruz Cabot; Phillip – 18 years old, Stephen – 10 years old, Angelica – 8 years old

If it wasn’t for Attorney Cesar Cabot’s father, he might not be practicing law today. Cesar's father tirelessly filled out law school applications for his son to review and sign. He even covered all fees associated with applying and mailing out the forms to various law schools.

There was no doubt, however, that acceptance letters would come pouring in, and the excitement of Cesar’s father, Gonnie, was something that couldn’t be hidden.

“It was my father’s unfulfilled dream to become a lawyer,” Cesar says.

“If he could not reach his dream, then he would try his darnedest to get his son to be a lawyer. I am glad that I actually enjoy being an attorney, because I could not dishonor my father by disobeying his direction. If it was not for the love and sacrifice of my father, I would not be in this profession,” he adds.

Cesar’s father may have pushed him to enter the field of law. Once he set foot in that door, however, the success and merit of his work were products of his upbringing and the principles his dad instilled in him.

“I have taken from my father the value of hard work and sacrifice — that nothing in life is handed to you, but must be earned and achieved through the sweat of your brow,” he says. “My father taught me the value of education and the need to provide for my family. My father is a simple man, who enjoys the simple things that life has to offer.”

“My father taught me the value of education and the need to provide for my family.”

Cesar has three children with his wife Tiffany: Phillip, Stephen and Angelica. When it comes to raising his own kids, he has taken on his father’s methods, and continues to hold him in the highest regard.

“I think that I have tried to emulate his better qualities and they are many. I could never measure up to the man that my father is to me.”

Mike Camacho

Personal Finance Center, President & CEO Father: Eduardo Camacho Wife and children: Joanne; Cole – 6 years old; Veda – 2 years old

Mike Camacho and his father Eduardo Camacho share many obvious characteristics.

“People that knew my father when he was my age instantly say to me, ‘You must be Eddie’s son’ – so I guess I look like him when he was my age,” Mike Camacho says.

Mike Camacho is president and CEO of Personal Finance Center and his father is the chairman of the company’s board of directors.

Their approach towards people and tasks are similar as well.

“We’ve both been told we have very kind hearts by the staff which have worked for both him and me.

And, we both like to try to do things our way the first time around – and then read the instructions,” he jokingly adds.

Despite their busy schedules, both Camacho men always make the time to be there for their loved ones as well. “Although he worked long hours trying to provide a good life for seven children, he also took time to talk to me when I needed him the most; he showed me that nothing is more important than family,” Mike says.

“During one of our talks at a critical time in my life, he told me to be the best at whatever career I chose. He said it didn’t matter what career I chose, what mattered was how I approached that career. He said you can never fault someone for giving a 100% effort.”

Mike’s favorite memory of his father was during a 14-day trip they took to China. He was 14 years

“Although he worked long hours ... he also took time to talk when I needed him the most.”

16 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

old then. “I got to know a different side of my father,” Mike says.

“I knew him as a very hard worker.

The trip opened my eyes to a very fun-loving man who enjoys history and experiencing different cultures and countries. It was the best two weeks I’ve spent with him.”

Mike still spends a lot of time with his father, listening to his stories about his life during pre and post-war Guam and by sharing a

common hobby. “My father and I are very competitive in billiards with each other,” Mike says with emphasis on the word “very”. “We try to play every Sunday after dinner at his house. It has become a weekly bragging rights tradition. Sometimes I’ll let him win so he can get a good week’s worth of sleep to prepare for our next tournament!” he jokes.

Ryan Ganon

Guam Memorial Hospital, Registered Nurse Father: Hernando Ganon Wife: Claire

Ryan Ganon often compares his relationship with his father, Hernando to that of Daniel and Mr. Miyagi, from the Karate Kid movies.

Ryan would do as he was told – like household chores and homerepair projects. Admittedly, he often met his assignments with resistance and questions like “why do I have to do this?” Now, as he looks back, he’s actually grateful for the assignments his dad gave him.

“Daniel-san feels like he is doing something useless and then later realizes that it will play a big role in his life,” Ryan explains.

He remembers accompanying his father to fix broken appliances at friends’ and relatives’ homes.

“When I was younger, I thought of it as punishment and time away from 18 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

play,” he explains. “Looking back, I realize that it was pure quality time with my dad.”

“He really taught me a lot and all that served to be the foundation of who I am today. I thank him for teaching me how to be a hard worker and to strive to do my best. I was a spoiled and stubborn child,” Ryan says.

Hernando came to Guam as an electrician for Camp Roxas. The facility housed thousands of Filipino workers who were brought in by the U.S. government to rebuild military buildings, roads and the island’s infrastructure after the devastation of World War II. The camp closed its operation in 1972.

“He surprises me every single day.

You can give him something broken or something that you have struggled with forever to put together and bam, he finds a solution!,” Ryan adds.

It wasn’t always work though, the two men make the time to share a hobby like fishing. “Skipjack season is once a year, so the whole time up until then, you get this build up of excitement and anxiousness… it’s an awesome feeling when you reel in your first catch. I would rather share this experience with my dad than anyone else.”

Michael Franklin Quitugua San Nicolas

Bank of Guam, AVP and Wealth Manager for BG Wealth Management Services Father: Miguel Borja San Nicolas Wife and children: Kathryn Yvonne Ko San Nicolas; Kaleb Michael Ko San Nicolas and one more on the way.

Michael Franklin Quitugua San Nicolas’ father, Miguel, centered his life around his family. So naturally, Michael centers his own life around his family as well.

“My dad provided for our family, helped send me to school, and was always there to fulfill his fatherly duties,” he says. “I am pretty certain that my views of what it means to be a dad would not be as distinct as they are today if he was not around.

I will always be grateful that through thick and thin, he was always willing to put the well-being of the family above his self interests.”

Michael says that as the years have gone by, the two men have grown closer. “It has as much to do with my growing up as it does with our growing together, and it definitely makes the future all the more exciting as far as our relationship is concerned,” he adds.

Growing up, Michael remembers accompanying his father and brother to Talofofo Bay on several occasions just to enjoy the day. He has a very strong appreciation of nature and of the serenity of southern Guam just like his father.

chael spends a lot of time planning and looking ahead into the future.

As time passes, however, this may change.

“I loved going to the beach with my dad and I also loved playing basketball with him,” he says. “My brother, father and I all were into playing hoops and we had a small court that dad built at our house where we played regularly growing up.”

Although they may share some common interests, Michael feels that their personalities differ a little. While his father is able to enjoy each day as it comes, Mi-

“I think (the difference) may be more of an age thing than anything else, as it’s understandable for someone younger to be more anxious about the future, while someone older is more interested in making the most of today,” he explains. “I would like to be more easygoing and lighthearted like he is. Life is so much sweeter when you choose to enjoy it. I have been making more of an effort lately just to do that,”

By the Dads www.fathers.com

Daily Steps to Balance Work & Family In today’s world, one of the most common and urgent needs among fathers are tips for managing their time.

The ability to do this is a key to success at work and with your family.

A recent article offered time-management tips from Muhtar Kent, the CEO of Coca-Cola. His strategy involves five key tasks every day, which add up to a 60-minute investment that reinforces his top priorities.

HERE IS KENT’S APPROACH: He spends 15 minutes a day “rehearsing” so he can effectively communicate the company’s vision.

10 minutes a day are devoted to getting advice from someone.

Usually near the end of the day, he takes 20 minutes to be responsive and communicate to people in a timely manner.

For 5 minutes a day, Mr. Kent keeps a journal.

These first four ideas are seemingly all about succeeding at work, but we could also apply them to fathering: rehearse communication; get advice; keep a journal; be responsive. Those are great habits for dads. But the fifth task for the remaining 10 minutes is what really caught our attention: No matter how busy we are, it’s vital, sometime during the day, to connect with the people closest to us. We can catch up on things, but this also grounds us and reminds us of what’s most important.

ACTION POINTS • Call home to check in with family members -- every day.

•Make unstructured time with your family members a high priority. (They probably don’t like being squeezed into your busy schedule.)

• What time-wasting habits do you need to change? Ask those around you -- co-workers and family members.

• Use your errands and household projects as opportunities to spend more time with each of your children. (And expect the projects to take a bit longer than usual.)

• Renew your commitment to do regular one-on-one activities with each of your children this year -- maybe near their birthdays, half-birthdays, quarter and threequarter birthdays.

MAKE TIME TO CALL IN TO THE FAMILY —EVERY DAY, NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE.

20 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

Simple Truths for Dads Facing Barriers Although divorced dads may identify with this most easily, every dad faces relationship barriers of some kind, and all dads can benefit from being reminded about a few simple truths.

Not long ago, we heard from a divorced dad whom we’ll call Mike. He’s been through some very difficult trials and has made some mistakes that really became roadblocks for a relationship with his daughter. But recently Mike’s daughter made contact with him indicating she wants to be part of his life. The problem is, Mike feels paralyzed. He can’t forgive himself for the sins of his past.

All dads face challenges, whether they are divorced, married, single, new dads, stepfathers, dads of teenagers, dads in prison, dads who travel a lot for work, and so on. Some dads are fighting just to see their children. Others might not see their kids for months at a time because of some unavoidable arrangement of work responsibilities, where the mother lives, or other factors. And some do see their children, but may feel paralyzed because of fractured relationships, unhealthy patterns they have established through the years, feelings of inadequacy, or big mistakes their children have made, and they don’t know how to make things better. Some dads, like Mike, can’t seem to shake their own painful memories and mistakes.

When you’ve hit a barrier to connect-

22 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

ing with your children and hope is in short supply, there are no quick-andeasy solutions. But in the long run, you will benefit from taking a few simple truths to heart—and acting on them: Though the challenges are daunting,

your child still needs you to be his or her dad. She knows that she will always have a connection to you. She needs you to be strong — strong in patience, courage and love.

There is still time. Don’t be deceived into thinking there’s no hope. There is always tomorrow. We always have reasons to hope and be optimistic. If you can’t see your kids, your past isn’t pretty, you’ve been treated unjustly by the system, or whatever, it’s important to have hope that the future can be better.

If your circumstances or other people are making it difficult for you to be a good father, don’t give up. Just like with Mike’s daughter, things do change. Kids grow up and start putting things together; many times they want to know their dad in a deeper way. Believe that your opportunity will come, live with integrity today, make healthy decisions, and be ready for that day. It would be a shame if you did something now that might jeopardize that oppor-

By the Dads www.fathers.com

tunity.

Be willing to start fresh and put the past behind you. Ask for forgiveness, when appropriate, and strive to better the relationship from here forward.

ACTION POINTS Even in difficult and frustrating situations, do all you can to maintain your poise. You will be a powerful model for your kids regarding how to handle adversity.

Make whatever adjustments are necessary to connect with your kids in your situation: write letters; send texts and e-mail; ask your child’s teacher, coach, or youth sponsor to help keep you informed; look into changing your work schedule; make the most of the opportunities you do have.

To connect or reconnect with a child, try turning off cell phones and other distractions, getting away together, and simply talking to each other. Say something like, “Sweetheart, you’re important to me. How have things been going?” Or, “How can we stay more connected?”

Get a copy of a book your child is reading for school and read it yourself, then discuss it—even if it’s over the phone. ■

social studies: fatherhood edition 6.10

EVERY MONTH, we invite some of the island’s critical thinkers to have an unfiltered conversation about the topic of the day. Here’s what they said.

Q: What are the biggest challenges facing fathers today and what can be done to address them? out trying to make ends meet and finding quality time for their families.

But, if they’re emotionally fatigued, they do themselves no good or their family. Fathers should always find time to relax, even if it’s just taking the family for a long walk in the park. The less a father has to do when he gets home, the happier he’ll be. This certainly works for me.

you’re in. Allow your children to believe in you — not only as a provider, but as a friend who’ll make yourself available to them anytime.

Also, you need to be at peace with their mother – your children need her as much as they need you.

Come to terms with their mother and ensure that disciplinary matters are carried through from one household to the other.

RICHARD: Fathers who are

JEFF: With the everyday activities

TOMMY: Fathers get stressed

deployed to the desert like I was in ‘07 and ‘08 miss the time with their families. But as long as there’s some form of communication such as e-mail, phone or webcams, it makes occasions like Father’s Day a lot easier. Also, raising kids to make sure they’re following your teachings at home like respect, loyalty and values is a challenge. We need to make sure they choose the right path and provide them with guidance and nurture them until they become adults and have their own families.

KEN RAY: In my case, I’m a single parent and step father. It’s very easy to fall into a compromising trap that comes as a result of divorce and, or separation. There’s a tendency to give into your children’s wants that you wouldn’t normally give into had circumstances been different. For example, showering them with material things that you can’t afford seems to be the way out when dealing with their feelings.

Maybe it’s because it’s easy for us to feel that we owe this to them to make up for the hurt and turmoil that separation brings.

We should remain focused on the principles of fatherhood and never compromise them. Keep a personal relationship with God and let Him be your refuge despite the forces that want to make you feel that you don’t deserve Him because of the situation

24 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

A

of work, school, sports, hobbies and the added distractions of TV, video games, phones, texting, the Internet and related social media it is difficult to spend time, both quality and in quantity with our children.

I think the best way to address this is twofold. First, be intentional about spending time with your children.

This may mean doing activities together like sports or hobbies or setting aside meal times to be with your family. If you have more than one child you may want to try scheduling a weekly one-on-one time or “daddy date” as my kids call them with each child.

The second way is to address or manage the distractions. In other words turn off the TV, mobile phones and other electronics at agreed upon “family times” and spend that time talking if you have teenagers or reading together if you have small children. This is not easy for parents or children as we have “electronic” habits that are not easy to break but if we do it, it will be worth it.

FRED: I believe external factors like negative peer influence, relationships, gangs, drugs & alcohol would be hard for me to control outside of my own home. It would come down to trust that my child will make good decisions while I try to provide the best possible direction and supervision as a father.

Children will experiment and some-

B

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times escape the long arm of the law. But, I feel that educating them and having an open conversation about such issues is the way to help prevent them from making bad choices.

Also, working with at risk youth & being on-call 24-7 has helped me realize that before helping others, you have to take care of your family first.

MIGUEL: One of the most difficult things that I went through was when my son had to

D

leave to the mainland to be with his mom, my ex-girlfriend last year. We now have this yearon and year-off custody deal. It’s very difficult to be away from him. But, the love I have for him overshadows the sacrifices I have to make for his best interests.

With today’s technology, a father shouldn’t have any excuse not to communicate with their kids from a past, failed relationship. Let the kids know that in spite of what happened that you still care and love them. When all is said and done, they’ll grow up one day

KEN RAY: I want to add that fulfilling your role as a stepfather may be a little more challenging but the degree of care and love for your stepchildren should remain the same as with your own.

Allow them the space and let them believe and accept you on their own time and at their own pace. In time you’ll gain their trust and most importantly their friendship.

Q: What was the best Father’s Day gift you ever received?

RICHARD: You can get anything

material and appreciate it, but a letter written from the heart by your loved ones is more personal to me, than let’s say clothes or a nice watch. I was in Kuwait when I received a Father’s Day letter, because my kids knew I wouldn’t be home for the occasion. They said although you’re not here physically we know you’re here in heart and mind.

It brought closeness between my children and I.

E

knowing they were loved.

KEN RAY: Over the past 19 years

of being a dad I will have to say that the best Father’s Day gift I have ever received is the gift of privilege. Having the privilege to spend Father’s Day with my children. God willing – I hope to receive this gift year after year.

JEFF: Every Father’s Day I’m reminded how blessed I really am to have five wonderful, unique and healthy

children. For the first ten years of our marriage my wife and I didn’t have any children and were told that we probably wouldn’t but God had different plans. Each one is a gift from the Lord.

TOMMY: My fiancé always has an uncanny knack for choosing the perfect Father’s Day gifts for me. She knows that I’m a simple man who prefers to just relax at home on Father’s Day, but as a gift last year, she presented me with a new lawn blower. It may seem ordinary to some, but it was something that I’d been secretly wanting.

Aside from all the wonderful material gifts, my best Father’s Day gift always comes through the unspoken encouragement, support, and love from my family.

MIGUEL: Having my eldest boy Gabriel turn out to be a loving, caring and sweet son! And, also having another baby boy on the way! ■

OUR PANEL: F

A: Richard Aguon Guam Fire Department, Firefighter/EMT, (one daughter, one son)

D: Tommy Morrison Guam Contractors License Board, Executive Director (one daughter and one stepson)

B: Ken Ray Paulino Triple J Auto Group, Parts & Service Director (Biological Children: two daughters and one son, Stepchildren: one daughter and two sons.)

E: Fred Alig Department of Youth Affairs, Social Worker (two sons)

C: Jeff Jones Triple J Enterprises, Inc., Executive Vice President (three daughters and two sons)

F: Miguel San Miguel KTKB 101.9, Program Director/DJ (one son)

WHAT WILL YOUR the Dads CHILD’S MARRIAGE Bywww.fathers.com LOOK LIKE? doing, try your best, and respect her as the mother of your children.

Your attitudes about women—good or bad—will continue to impact your children’s lives long after they leave home.

ACTION POINTS Ask your children what qualities they’re looking for in a future mate.

Often, their answers will reflect something about your marriage.

Talk with your wife: What’s in store for our children if they pattern their marriages after ours? Come up with a plan to improve your marriage, no matter how great it is now.

The current generation of fathers has been decimated by the tragedy of divorce.

Many men saw their parents divorce, and some have been through a divorce themselves. These men have often told us that they wish they had seen a good marriage in action when they were young. They had a deep desire to see a committed, loving relationship between the two people they loved the most, and they are still missing that model now that they have children of their own.

Have you ever thought about how your marriage looks to your children— or about how your attitudes toward marriage are influencing them? Whether you’re seeking to be a cycle-breaker in your family, or you want to faithfully capitalize on the example your father set for you, it’s important to purposefully set a positive example. If you fail

26 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

If you’re divorced, remember that your kids love both of you, and they don’t want to hear their mother criticized. to do this, the likelihood that your children will face divorce increases significantly. Your modeling influences your children’s perspectives and practices in their own marriages.

If you’re married, search your heart.

You may have a decent marriage, but are you living out the kind of marriage you want your children to have someday? Are you nurturing your marriage with trust, communication and thoughtful attentiveness?

If you’re divorced, remember that your kids love both of you, and they don’t want to hear their mother criticized. No matter what she’s saying or

If you’re a divorced dad, keep asking yourself the question, “What’s best for my child?” Then, let your answers guide your actions—especially when you’re interacting with your child’s mother, and even if the result doesn’t seem great for you.

Make plans this week for a date night or another memorable time together with your wife.

What are the most positive memories you have from your marriage? Continue to focus on those during times of difficulty. ■

In comparison to shopping for moms, finding a gift for dad can be a lot harder task.

Generally speaking, men don’t always articulate their likes and dislikes. So, that usually means, we have to resort to using a lot of guesswork. Make sure you browse through our Father’s Day shopping guide. You may just find the right gift idea for dad.

THE FISHERMAN DAD If the dad in your life loves to fish, a new fishing rod with reel may be just what he needs. Assorted models for both youth and adults available at Mark’s Sporting Goods.

THE SKINCONSCIOUS DAD Does your dad take extra care of his skin and hygiene? Give him an exotic amenity set which includes favorite Elemis products and the award-winning Aching Muscle Super Soak in a smart travel bag. Available at Mandara Spa.

6 THE 28 THEHIGH HIGHROAD ROADJUNE JUNE2010 2010

THE HI-TECH DAD Whether your dad is a techie or not, he’ll appreciate the convenience and features of these hot new phones! Browse through these four suggestions to find one that meets dad’s needs and lifestyle.

The Motorola Milestone is a 3.7” touchscreen quadband GSM phone with slide-out QWERTY keyboard for easy texting and emailing. It also has a 5 mega pixel camera with DVD quality video that’s good for capturing those priceless moments. It runs on the Google Android operating system. Bluetooth and WiFi capable.

Available at iConnect.

The HTC Hero is the multiawarded mobile handset from 2009-2010. It’s a 3.2” touchscreen quadband GSM phone that runs on the Google Android operating system. It has a 5 mega pixel camera, Bluetooth and WiFi capable.

Available at iConnect.

The Mifi is a mobile wifi hotspot contained in a small credit card sized device.

The Mifi allows up to 5 Wifi enabled devices to hook up wirelessly to the Internet through IT&E’s 3GEVDO network. Available at IT&E. The HTC Droid Incredible is the #1 smartphone as ranked by PC World.

It features a beautiful 3.7” OLED Touch screen, 1 Ghz processor, 8GB of internal memory, and 8 megapixel camera. Available at IT&E.

THE HUNGRY DAD Does dad enjoy eating out?

Give him gift cards from Outback Steakhouse – home of juicy steaks, pasta, salads, and fresh seafood.

Gift cards are available in various denominations.

CITIBANK

live easy 6.10

BABY MAKES 8 Raising six kids on one salary

by Leo Babauta

Raising so many kids at once has, of course, been a financial, scheduling, and organizational challenge. But, it’s also been an amazing blessing.

When my son was born in 2004, my wife and I made the decision that she should stay home to take care of him. When my daughter was born in 2006, we decided she should continue to stay home. It was an important decision, and we are both very glad we made it. She’s the best caretaker by far for our two babies, and she’s been able to breast feed and do all kinds of other stuff that only a mom could do.

Of course, it’s also harder for us financially, but it’s worth the sacrifices, in my opinion. We’ve cut out a number of expenses to be able to live on my salary and the decision has forced us to learn to live frugally. We actually struggled for awhile, but I believe we’re hitting our stride now.

Here are the keys to being able to survive with six kids, with only one spouse working:

LIVE FRUGALLY Living on one salary (plus free-lance pay) requires sacrifices. It means you can’t eat out as much, or go to the movies as much. We have only one car. We cut out cable.

It becomes a sort of lifestyle after awhile, but it’s certainly difficult at first.

INCREASE YOUR INCOME While you may only have one salary, there are many other ways to make money on the side, from working part-time to free-lancing to consulting to selling Avon to babysitting.

Any extra income helps a lot.

30 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

WE’VE REFORMED OUR WAYS, CANCELED OUR CREDIT CARD, AND ARE NOW SLOWLY PAYING OFF OUR BILLS ...

PAY OFF DEBTS, AND AVOID FURTHER DEBTS We had a little problem with debts accumulating, especially when we weren’t making enough money to pay our bills.

But we’ve reformed our ways, canceled our credit card, and are now slowly paying off our bills, one by one. Once we’re done, we’ll have a lot of extra money to save.

BUILD AN EMERGENCY FUND It’s tough, but it is CRUCIAL that you save money each payday, no matter how small

the amount. If you can’t figure out how to do this, cut out some smaller expenses, trim others, cancel cable or Netflix or your gym membership or something.

FIND A WAY TO SAVE It’s the most important part of your finances, especially the part where you build an emergency fund. You should build it up to at least $1,000, because at any moment, your car might break down or your kid might need to go to the hospital or any other kind of emergency could happen and leave you not only without the necessary funds, but figuring

out which bills you can pay later so you can pay for the emergency. If you have savings, you can pay for these emergencies.

BUDGET I know it’s a dreaded thing for many people, but it doesn’t have to be hard. Simply list out your regular monthly expenses (utilities, rent, car, Internet, cell phone, etc.) along with variable expenses (groceries, gas, eating out, etc) and other irregular expenses that might not come up every month but that you know you’ll need sometime (car repairs, home maintenance, gifts, medical, etc., broken down as a monthly expense). List your income.

Your income should be more than your expenses. If not, trim some expenses.

groceries, gas, and spending (everything from eating out to kids’ school stuff). When the money runs out in that envelope, you can’t LEFT: THE BABAUTA FAMILY spend anymore until RIGHT BEFORE THEIR FAMILY next payday. It’s a simTRIP TO TOKYO LAST SUMMER. ple way to keep track FROM LEFT: JUSTIN, CHLOE, of how much you have SETH, MAIA, NOELLE, EVA AND RAIN, WITH LEO IN THE BACK. left, instead of guesstimating and withdrawing too much or For all my bills, I have them ei- charging too much. ther automatically deducted (like my car payment and phone) or FIND FREE WAYS have a regular online check going TO HAVE FUN WITH out to them each month. The only YOUR KIDS things not paid online are the While we are making sacrifices, things I need cash for, like gas and our kids have to make sacand groceries. rifices too, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a great time with them.

THE ENVELOPE We plan a Family Day every SunSYSTEM day, when we all do stuff togethFor everything that you can’t au- er that we love doing, like reading, tomate online, withdraw the cash watching movies (we usually rent each payday (instead of using DVDs to save money), playing ATMs and incurring fees) for sports, going to a park, playing those expenses and put them in board games, going to the beach, separate envelopes. I have three: visiting family, or doing a lot of

AUTOMATE YOUR FINANCES

other free or cheap stuff. Fun doesn’t have to cost a lot.

PLAN AHEAD If you know someone’s birthday is coming up, plan for it, so you’re not scrambling to find money to buy a gift. Same thing with school expenses, like field trip money or school photos. Our kids are also involved in sports, so we have to plan for uniforms and cleats and more. Think ahead to what you’ll need, so you’re not broke when that expense comes up.

TREAT YOUR FAMILY ONCE IN A WHILE While lots of fun things are free, sometimes you gotta splurge.

Take the kids out to a movie, or a restaurant. Our favorite splurge is going to a water park. Recently we ran into a few hundred extra dollars, and instead of being responsible and paying off more debt or saving it, we rented a room at a hotel with a great water park,

THE STEAMY DAD When dad needs to cool off, this Tower Fan will be just what he needs. It’s super quiet and comes with three fan speeds with auto rotation. Available at the Town House Furniture and Appliance store.

THE FIT DAD A tight mid-section may just be what your dad wants. Help him through the process by giving him this ab roller which tones abdomens and shoulders. Available at Mark’s Sporting Goods.

and spent two days there having a blast with the kids. Other times we’ll just treat them to ice cream cones or something. ■

Leo Babauta is the author of The Power of Less and the creator and blogger at www.zenhabits.net, a Top 100 blog with 130,000 subscribers — one of the top productivity and simplicity blogs on the Internet. It was recently named one of the Top 25 blogs

by TIME magazine.

Babauta is a former journalist and freelance writer of 18 years, a husband and father of six children, and lives on the island of Guam where he leads a very simple life.

THE EXECUTIVE DAD Does dad need an upgraded yet practical work space? Does he need help with his filing? This three-piece contemporary executive desk with mobile pedestal and L-shape credenza may just be the perfect choice for him. It’s available at the Town House Furniture and Appliance store.

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style 6.10

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D

E Modern dads have a wide variety of style choices. It all depends on your personality and preferences. Just remember, confidence comes from comfort. And, when you look good, you’ll feel good!

32 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

STYLE NOTES A. If you want a stylish shirt, but don’t want to overdo it, this bluish-grey, military inspired top is a great start.

Wear it with black or dark grey slacks.

B. Plaid is making a comeback. If you’re not afraid to sport bold colors you can make a statement with this shirt style. Pair it up with cotton slacks or khaki trousers that match the pattern’s color scheme.

C. Go for smaller prints and a subdued color scheme if you’re not ready for plaid. Generally, the smaller the scale of the pattern, the more sophisticated the look. You can match this shirt with dark grey or black slacks.

D. You can’t go wrong with this traditional striped baby blue shirt.

Complete the look with beige slacks or khakis. If you go with this color combination, use matching brown shoes and belt, not black, for a more polished look.

E. Women in the professional setting can also inject their personal style without going overboard. This snake print silk chiffon blouse can be paired with a black straight suiting blazer, to take it to the next level.

All clothing by ESPRIT Models: (A, C) Christopher Camacho, (B) Joey Duenas, (D) Marvin Gatdula, (E) Tess Cruz.

Photography: Eugene C. Herrera.

B

THERE’S AN APP FOR DAD

by Carlo Cariño

Embracing technology can enhance your life at any age Personal digital assistants, electronic day planners, and a small army of other handheld computers — name any of them — and my Dad, Noly Cariño, has just about tried them all.

He’s also discarded them all in the past, because they never kept up with the real-world demands of how he works and plays. This year, however, my Dad’s finally found what he’s looking for.

The current crop of so-called, “Smart Phones,” is finally giving people like him the flexible, easy-to-use, no-hassle, on-the-go power he’s been looking for. It’s taken a few decades, but portable technology’s finally caught up with my dad. Even though he’s technically of retirement age, he’s not slowing down and taking it easy — and his phone of choice, the iPhone 3GS — is now the most important tool he uses every day. My dad is proof that the advance of technology isn’t just to make hi-tech toys for teens — it’s also allowing seasoned professionals to work smarter, faster, and giving them more time for well-earned recreation.

what makes a phone a powerhouse replacement for Dad’s day-planner. Apps never run out of note pages, calendars never expire, and it’s easy to find any phone number you’re looking for. Meanwhile, Safari, the iPhone browser gives him the ability to look up any information he needs at any time. Cost: Free

PHOTOCHOP:

JOTNOT: http://www.mobitech3000.com A handheld document scanner, JotNot, takes pictures of documents, receipts, business cards and more. My dad used to carry a planner and card binder. Thanks to JotNot and his phone, he’s able to do more while carrying less. Cost: Free for a lite version, $6.99 for the pro version.

GOLFCARD:

Actual Art: Dad created this image of he and my Mom, Esperanza on his phone using PhotoChop. http://www.pinger.com One of my dad’s favorite things to do on his phone is to take pictures of family and friends. While the built in camera application is fine for everyday use, he also likes to play with those photos using PhotoChop.

PhotoChop makes photo editing fun and easy for anyone to superimpose their subjects into any picture. Want to put your son’s face on Mt. Rushmore?

PhotoChop makes it possible, even if you’ve never used a graphics program in your life. Cost: Free

PANDORA RADIO: http://www.pandora.com This is my Dad’s go-to app for his daily workouts. Early mornings at the gym are enhanced by the playlists Pandora constructs from music he already enjoys. No need to download or arrange the songs, since they are streaming through either wi-fi or over a 3G data connection. Pandora is also available on most mobile operating systems, such as Android or Windows Mobile. Cost: Free

NOTES, CONTACTS, CALENDAR, MAIL AND SAFARI: http://www.apple.com/iphone/ This group of built-in applications is 34 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

Get a Grip: GolfCard gives you access to all the information you need from the tee to the flag. http://www.senygma.com/GolfCard.html A golfer’s dream application. GolfCard uses the iPhone’s GPS to calculate distances and track a golfer’s progress during a round. Best of all, maps for many of Guam’s courses are ready-made and available for download.

As an avid golfer, my Dad gets a lot of use out of this app. It’s been so handy that other players routinely ask him for range-finding data to help their game.

GolfCard is also available for Android phones. Cost: $9.99, $.99 for the lite version.

It’s sometimes easy for grown children to assume that technology has advanced to the point where our parents can only handle the most basic way modern devices work. But it’s really the other way around, technology has instead finally advanced to the point where it can handle the way our parents work. Just ask my Dad. ■

Carlo Cariño is a writer, artist, and graphic designer.

He lives in Yigo with his wife, Juvy. He didn’t have to teach his Dad how to use the IPhone or any its apps. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ itsjustcarlo or view his less-focused blog at www.itsjustcarlo.com.

COMMUNITY PULSE

If you have a positive photo of community interest, send it to community@highroadmagazine.com and we might include it in a future issue of The High Road.

Triple J Five Star Wholesale Foods (TJFSW) was one of many vendors participating in the 2010 Pacific Hotel & Restaurant Expo & Tourism Forum (PHARE) at the Hyatt Regency Guam.

The event was held on May 6 and 7. Event participants had the opportunity to pick up information on new products as well as to sample them. Pictured are Jane Valdez, food service attendant, and Jim Herbert, TJFSW, general manager.

WANT ANOTHER COPY? YOU CAN PICK UP THE HIGH ROAD AT ANY OF THESE LOCATIONS:

Scott Miller, FROOTS Franchise Vice President of Operations, Christine Baleto, FROOTS Franchise Owner, and Senator Eddie Baza Calvo took part in a ribbon cutting ceremony for the restaurant’s grand opening celebration at the Guam Premier Outlets on May 18. The first FROOTS location is located in the Agana Shopping Center.

76/Circle K

Apra Heights, Airport, East Hagatna, Fatima, Adelup

Agana Shopping Center: Casa de Essence, Gino’s, Java Junction

Oriental Supermarket, Agat

B&J Video, Anigua Barista Blends

Payless Supermarkets: Micronesia Mall & Yigo locations

Ben Franklin’s Craft Store

PMC Clinic

Feathers N Fins

Port of Mocha, Tumon

FHP Clinic

Rambies: Micronesia Mall, Hafa Adai Exchange

Hava Java, Hagatna

PHR Ken Corp. donated $15,000 to Chamorro Village for the development of Ocean Night Market Fridays. Photo from left to right are: Hilton Guam Resort & Spa general manager Nicolaus Priesnitz, PHR Ken Corp. President, Hayato “Jack” Yoshino; Acting Chamorro Village Manager Jeff San Nicolas; Dept. of Chamorro Affairs’ Acting President Sylvia Flores; First Lady Joann Camacho and Hilton Guam Resort & Spa marketing communications manager Crystal Sablan.

Outback Steakhouse

Hertz locations

SHIMBROS/ Rhythm & Brews

Kim Chee, Agat

Sugar + Spice

Mark’s Sporting Goods

Town House Furniture Store

MCV Broadband Macheche Location

Triple J Auto Group Locations

McDonald’s: Hagatna, Tamuning

Triple J Commercial Tire Center

Micronesia Mall Theatres

Tropical Living, Hagatna

Mobil, Participating locations: Upper Tumon,

Video Queen, Agat Video Solutions, Tamuning

reflections 6.10

MY FIL-AM EXPERIENCE Reflections of a modern Filipina-American

By Maria T. Cenzon, Esq.

Publisher’s Note: June has been proclaimed Philippine Independence Month. In observance of this special occasion, we invited one of our regular contributors, Attorney Maria T. Cenzon to reflect on the influences that have shaped her into the successful Filipina-American she is today.

I was born Maria Teresa Bonifacio Cenzon.

I have been called Maritess, MaTeresa, Maria, Mari, Rea, Tess and, the epitomical “Tektek”. (Ugh!) For those of you who are thrown off by my surname (no, it’s not Sison or Dizon it’s spelled C-E-N-Z-O-N), I am a Filipina.

My parents migrated to Guam from the Philippines in 1969 with my two older brothers – then 2 and 1 – in tow. I would be the only one born an American. My mother Nita recalls how her mother, my Mama, came to Guam for my birth and brought with her Prescilla, a yaya (babysitter). Prescilla was maid, cook, babysitter and shoulder to cry on for my mother when I was an infant and she transitioned from life in the urban metropolis of, “Maynila,” to our island circa 1970.

36 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

times as a child. The bustle of the city streets awakened my senses – the sweet aroma of bread and pastries from the bakery, watching as skilled pedestrians narrowly escaped certain death as they alighted from jeepney to jeepney, above all, the feel of my father’s rough, calloused hand in my own as he guided me around the cracks and holes on the sidewalks to the safety of Mama’s house.

Manila was such a marked contrast from the quiet “suburban”

“My parents took a chance like millions of immigrant Filipinos around the world who left their homeland in order to provide more for their families and their children.”

Eventually, my folks assimilated to life on Guam. My dad, who had been used to hailing a jeepney or walking a few city blocks to work in Makati, learned how to drive a car! Prescilla and Mama would return to the Philippines and the Family von Cen-

zon was left on an island, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean …to sink or swim. But my mom became the ultimate American Supermom, working full-time and caring for three kids…without a yaya.

I visited the Philippines many

heart-to-heart talk.

LEFT: AMALIA, 11 ; NITA; RICKY, 10; SECOND ROW: ED; MARIA; AND JOE (BROTHER).

NOT IN THE PICTURE ARE MARIA’S BROTHER ED AND HIS WIFE JULIE WHO LIVE IN WASHINGTON STATE.

streets of Liguan Terrace where my mother would admonish us for playing in the street.

Praying that the Filipino music gene would not have skipped a generation, my mother encouraged all of us to learn an instrument; so we all took piano lessons. Epic fail. At least for me.

I was horrible.

So, I was enrolled in “finishing school” where I would be chastised for wearing my brother’s hand-me-down Levis in a sea of dainty frocks. Remarkably, I learned to put on makeup, walk in heels and actually brush my hair.

Still, I could never quite look like the girls on the Filipino TV shows, and be the coy, proper Filipina

that I always thought my mom wanted me to be.

My mother grew up in a very strict Filipino household. Women were not encouraged to be educated let alone “permitted” to enter the workplace. Yet, my mom rebelled in her own right against her father’s edicts. She went to an exclusive girls’ college, Saint Therese’s College, and had hoped to proceed to law school.

But her father, my Papa, would not agree. Perhaps living vicariously through me, there was no question that I would go to college and, when I was accepted into law school, it was then that I first learned of her interrupted dream.

The night before my departure for school, my mother and I had a

“Maritess,” she softly began, “Your dad and I wish we were made of money so that we could provide you with so much more… but we are not. When we came here from the Philippines, we had nothing but our name.

As you start a new part of your life, remember who you are and where you came from as much as where you want to go in life.

Continue to make us proud and remember that nothing is more valuable than your name.” I have reflected on that conversation many times since that day and use her advice as a gauge for the propriety of my actions.

My parents took a chance like millions of immigrant Filipinos around the world who left their homeland in order to provide more for their families and their children. They came with little money but with pride for their heritage, culture and name. Despite my comparatively more western

lifestyle than my cousins who continue to live in the Philippines, I hope I continue to make my parents proud by embodying the essence of a Filipina – passionate, strong, resilient and proud. ■

Maria Cenzon is a firstgeneration Filipina-American, attorney and mother of two, Amalia, 11, and Ricardo, 10.

She was born on Guam, educated in the U.S. Mainland and returned home to practice law. She is currently the Director of Policy, Planning and Community Relations for the Judiciary of Guam.

Staying healthy: Advice for dads getting older

by Marylou Dulay M.D.

I love my dad. I love how he can fix anything (well, almost anything).

I love that there is nothing he would not do for his family.

I love his determination to be a perfectionist - he can paint a straight line without painter’s tape. However, I do not love how difficult it can be for me to convince him to get his regular medical check-ups and to follow his doctor’s orders.

In general, men do not take care of themselves as well as women do, and ultimately, men are less healthy and have a shorter lifespan than women.

It is a fact that men are less likely than women to see doctors, and they are also less likely to follow preventative health measures.

The week leading up to Father’s Day is National Men’s Health Week, and presents a perfect opportunity to discuss some issues that most male patients want to know about, but won’t ask about.

PROSTATE HEALTH Many men will develop at least one of three prostate conditions: an enlarged prostate (benign prostatic hyperplasia, or BPH), prostatitis (inflammation), and/ or prostate cancer. Various urinary symptoms including a weak urine stream, difficulty starting urination, dribbling, urgent need to urinate, more frequent urination (especially at night), straining while urinating, painful urination, or blood in the urine can be indicative of a prostate problem.

Prostate cancer is the most common

40 THE HIGH ROAD JUNE 2010

cancer (other than skin cancer) among American men and is the second leading cause of cancer death. It can be found early through screening tests: a blood test called PSA (prostate-specific anti-

rological disorders, treatments for prostate problems, and certain prescription medications. Psychological factors like depression, anxiety, stress, and fatigue contribute to these cases, and can be the main cause in 10 to 20% of ED cases.

ED is treatable with lifestyle changes, medication, vacuum devices, or surgery.

SELF-TESTICULAR EXAM

gen) and the digital rectal examination (DRE) performed by a doctor, but neither is 100% accurate.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends that men should make an informed decision regarding prostate cancer screening based on available information and discussion with their physician.

Testicular cancer is not common, but nonetheless is the most common type of cancer in American men ages 15 to 35. It is one of the most curable forms of cancer, especially if caught early. As such, the ACS recommends a testicular exam as part of a routine cancer-related checkup, but does not have a recommendation on regular self-testicular exams; this should be discussed with your doctor.

For those who choose to do self exams, the ACS gives the following directions: During or after a bath or shower, examine each testicle separately. Hold the testicle between your thumbs and fingers with both hands and roll it gently between the fingers. Look and feel for any hard lumps or nodules (smooth rounded masses) or any change in the size, shape, or consistency of the testes. If you have concerns, ask your doctor.

Men’s health issues can have a significant effect on families. Encourage the men in your lives to get regular medical care and to discuss problems with their doctors. By encouraging them to take a more active role in their health care, you could be giving them the greatest Father’s day gift – saving their life. ■

SEXUAL HEALTH Erectile dysfunction (ED), or impotence, is the inability to get and/or keep an erection firm enough for sex. Many, if not all, men have an occasional erection problem, but for 15 to 30 million American men, ED is a persistent problem.

Most cases of ED (70 to 80%) are caused by a physical problem, like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, vascular diseases, obesity, low testosterone, tobacco use, alcoholism or other forms of substance abuse, neu-

Dr. Marylou Dulay is an Internal Medicine physician.

She received her medical degree from the University of Colorado School of Medicine. She completed her residency training and Kennamer fellowship at the University of California, Los Angeles Olive View. She is a diplomate of the American Board of Internal Medicine.