Hilarian issue 2 2015

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Law School Magazine

HILARIAN2015e2 $3499.95

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2ND EDITION

The Hilarian

Adelaide University Law Students’ Society

The AULSS and ANU Legal Workshop are pleased to present

THE 2015 VOLUNTEER HANDBOOK

Coming Soon!!!

The Hilarian – Edition 2, 2015 Published 1st June 2015 Hilarian Team James D’Alessandro Patrick Edwards Emily Farrell Elly Zola Contributors: Meg Lowe, Samuel McDonough, Clancy O’Donnell, Beau Brug, Hugo Balnaves, Alex Chu and The Honourable Chief Justice Chris Kourakis QC Thank you to our sponsor Lipman Karas.

Disclaimer: This publication does not represent the views of the Adelaide University Law School. The University of Adelaide and The Law School do not endorse this publication. This publication is solely produced by the Adelaide University Law Students’ Society (AULSS).

Contents XOXO, The Hilarian McFoyer: An Instant Hit Chats with The Chief Facebook for Law Schoo Dummies The Travel Myth AULSS Law Ball: Denial in Style Humans of Ligertwood TFW No Marriage Bush Justice Communications 101 Clerkships at Lipman Karas Just Cause, Just Cos’ Speed Dating with Beau Brug Ligertwood Today Ligertwood Movie Club Legal Horoscopes “Surviving Exams’ Activity

4 5 6-7 8-9 10 - 11 12 - 13 14 - 15 16 17 18 - 19 20 21 22 -23 24 25 26 - 27 27

xoxo, the hilarian HAPPY MONTH OF LAW BALL! A night to turn up for red-wine stains, rolled ankles and first-years’ vomit.

Last year I saw someone urinate on the dance-floor. I also saw one of the band members be stimulated by two different persons simultaneously. Yet all of that aside, we hope you managed to purchase tickets with little to no anxiety issues and we hope that you had so much fun at- and in preparation for- this prestigious and elegant black tie event. I hear that Fascist Bunker (FSCT BNKR) released an exclusive line for the evening - and by line I mean one floral pattern that they have exploited more than their clientele exploit their daddies’ wallets.

Just quickly, I must digress to discuss something that has bothered me regarding our last issue’s editorial piece.

And that is having been broadly classified as ‘not caring for political opinion’ and ‘hating politics’. This umbrella statement was made last issue in a bid to clearly distance ourselves from the notorious political reputation of On-Dit. That statement, however, was not true. Individually we all rather “froth” over discussing our respective political views – like when you’re starting on your fourth red tin for the night and your good friend’s work friend brings up refugees. I love that shit. You are like so unbelievably knowledgeable and eloquent when you are on your fourth tinny. Anyway, tinnies aside, the interpretation we want from you is that we are purposely restraining from expressing our political opinions in this magazine. Furthermore, in regards to On-Dit, we must retract the scorn we fed them too, for the new editors’ choice of content seems really quite a-political this year. Nor were any of there you’re/yours misspelt last issue. (That “there” was ironic, if you picked it).

To all of our forty-eight readers, thank you to the two of you for liking our Instagram profile, and the three of you for liking us on Facebook. To celebrate this milestone, our twentieth follower on Instagram will receive their very own Hilarian tote!!!* Note: this tote bag is only to be used for supermarket shopping. It is not to be “decorated” with cat badges, or with those “quirky” Tegan and Sarah / Steve Buscemi badges that you bought off that lonely Canadian woman who collects Tamagotchis on Etsy. (‘The totes will be stopped’ – Tony Abbott, 2013) Oh, and considering that exams are looming, we have our very own “surviving exams” activity! Because we, The Hilarian, understand the struggles associated with doing a law degree (unlike your friends who only do media), we know the struggle is real… “I might get a P for this… and then what? I’ll have to get a Public Service job and only end up upper-middle class”. So to help you through these next five emotional, marble-less weeks, we will haul you back to 2003; where your only concern was, ‘how quick will this Sim die if I remove the ladder from the pool they’re swimming in, and when China was merely the country where flip phones were made.....

(Unfortunately, however, this is the Hilarian and we couldn’t figure out how to fit the activity on this page - so it’s on our final page. Skip to the end, we don’t care.)

Anyhow, I shall stop with the foreplay and let you indulge in our second issue.

With love, xoxo, Elly.

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*This is not to be taken as literal. Take your Carlill v Carbolic Smoke Ball elsewhere. Get yo’ totes from Frankie.

McFOYER: an Instant Hit

Clancy O’Donnell

After months of navigating the narrow temporary white halls of the plasterboard construction site, the magnificent Ligertwood redevelopment was finally unveiled. Our Asbestos riddled, concrete gulag law school foyer has now been redefined, with the funky corporate layout and hexagonal wall fixtures, electric blue plush seats and barista style study benches. The new, vibrant interior invokes nostalgic feelings of an inner city McCafe’.

At last, The LSS office has finally been moved from its third floor fortress, to a smaller and more transparent glass windowed work-pen by the front doors. This is a fascinating example of the way that architecture can be used to improve accountability for the student representatives. We can finally keep a watchful eye over their resume stacking, clerkship snatching tendencies. Additionally the tiny redundant room next to the foyer once loved by elitist study groups and risqué couples has been demolished.

The lone empty vending machine, a magnet for caffeine dependent mother fiends once clogging the walkway to the Napier backstairs has been removed, and is rumored to have been placed in Stubsie’s office as an incentive for other lectures to drop in for a chat.

The new foyer or ‘Ottomans Empire’ as it is known, has had every detail attended to. The rooms complete with 10-inch tall pizza shaped table/chairs that serve no function other than to fill space between the actual seating. The design and aesthetics are timeless; as future generations of law students will continue to debate whether it represents the pinnacle of 60s, 80s or 90s interior design, or none of the above.

Fig 1: A McCafe, compare the pair

Although, not all law students are impressed by redevelopment, which would have blown out into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. A first year law student recently commented, “the only reason I wanted to study at Adelaide law was because I thought we would have class in the Harry Potter style building next door - If I knew I would spend all my time in Ligertwood I would have gone to Uni SA.” Indeed, there has been growing sentiment on campus that the developments did not go far enough, given that law students have long been neglected with overcrowded lecture theatres forcing students to spill into Scott or Bragg theatres. These hollow, barren theatres are far removed from the intellectual and cultural hub that is Ligertwood. Another student remarked, “Without any natural light or air, sitting through two hours of property law in the Ligertwood lecture theaters feels like waiting in a bomb shelter.” Her friend commented further, “At least they could rename the bloody things so that Lecture Theatre Three is actually on the third floor”.

From its exterior, the pre-fabricated party-mix cobblestone concrete clusters and outward facing air-conditioning units may not resemble the magnificence of Elder hall, as it was loosely intended to do so. However, knocking down this beloved brutal building along with the effervescent neon banner and starting over to create a modern study space to meet the needs of its students, would be a worse idea than replacing the treasured Tony Abbott as Prime Minister.

It may be that the University Council’s incremental approach to redesigning our study home was an effort not to disturb the prevailing ‘I’m from Adelaide and I hate change’ mentality. For the meantime, the Ligertwood foyer’s attempt at a ‘fun and inclusive law firm feel’ acts as a constant, lingering reminder that fewer than 10% of law students will ever land a job as a solicitor in a firm. This author commends the Ligertwood foyer redevelopment, which continues to serve as the reality check that our student body expect and deserve.

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James D’Alessandro

CHATs WITH THE CHIEF That’s right! The Chief Justice of South Australia, The Honourable Chris Kourakis QC graciously sat down with the Hilarian to offer his judicial insight into the finer details of life when donning the wig and gown.

You won’t regret reading this great judgement by Kourakis CJ about his life in and beyond the confines of Ligertwood and the Sir Samuel Way Building .

The Hilarian and the AULSS wish to extend their sincerest gratitude to the Chief Justice, and thank him for his participation and willingness to answer such ridiculous questions. And... this time we remembered to get a photo! So all you sceptical law students can read it and weep!

The Hilarian (H): “First off, before we begin, someone has informed me that you are a traitor to the University of Adelaide, and that you have an honorary doctorate at Flinders University. Is this true?” Chief Justice Kourakis (CJ): Yes, its true!

H: “So do you get to call yourself Doctor Justice Koura— sorry, Doctor Chief Justice Kourakis QC?” CJ: “No, I can’t call myself Doctor, but I can use the nice letters at the end of my name...but, Adelaide University has only itself to blame for this.” H: “True, very true. Our apologies!” CJ: I would have gladly accepted a doctorate from you.

H: “What type of litigant annoys you in the courtroom? Is there a certain way a person acts that just makes you want to delegate the case to another judge?” CJ: “Are you talking about personally or the case they bring?” H: “So, if a litigant comes forth with a certain character or trait, what is it that annoys you? CJ: “Irrationality and greed combined. Rational greed I can handle, but irrational greed I can’t.” J: “Fair enough, I can see that being frustrating.”

H: “If you could send one law subject to gaol, what would it be? And obviously, what is the ratio decedendi for the decision? Personally I would send equity to prison.” CJ: [Ponders for a period of time as if about to pass sentence] “One law subject to prison… that is very difficult…” H: “You can send multiple if you want, you’re the Chief Justice.” CJ: “Is it for an indeterminate term or a fixed period?”

H: “Um, I’m willing to give you, the Chief Justice, discretion over the period of incarceration.” CJ: [Ponders for a further period of time]. “It would be trusts and not equity! I’m not a fan of trusts because 6

of their complexity and absurd abstraction, and because of their use as an instrument of tax evasion.”

H: “Nice to know that we’re on a similar page.”

H: “This was a favourite from the law school from our interview with the Premier: rather than sentencing people to gaol to atone for their crimes, they should be sent to law school because it’s torture for four or five years. Your thoughts?” CJ: “I think that’s a very silly idea… You would just create clever criminals?

H: Wow, I never thought of that. That is very true, you don’t want to give people the opportunity to get out of a crime next time. They don’t make you Chief Justice for nothing! CJ: “Exactly, and it would make it harder for me.”

H: “This is my personal favourite. If justice were an ice-cream flavour, what would it taste like? We’re looking for your insight. We were thinking pistachio, because some people are a fan, but others hate it.” CJ: “Ah, very good, I like that, but this is a ridiculous question, why am I answering this? It wouldn’t have a flavour, it’s completely disinterested, objective and dispassionate, it would just be bland.”

H: “What’s your advice to law students stuck in a lecture on a topic they don’t care about? How can they get through it, and how did you get through a similar situation?” CJ: “Get someone else’s lecture notes, and don’t bother going to the lectures?” H: “When you did go to a lecture, did you sit at the back of the lecture theatres?” CJ: “I strategically placed myself on the right wing half way up the lecture theatre to hide from the lecturer and most of the other law students.” H: “I know, it’s traumatising

when they go to ask the audience a question and I sit there praying to the law gods I don’t get picked.”

pass, or else you’re not going to get to come to court because you wont get the job!”

H: “On a scale of 1-10 how depressing was the law library?” CJ: “When I went to Adelaide Uni Law School there was a smoking room, so it wasn’t very depressing at all. H: “What? They had a smoking room in that poorly ventilated concrete dungeon full of stagnant old-book scented air?” CJ: “Yeah, and it was fine, you go in there and have a smoke and read a case, it wasn’t depressing at all.” H: “I don’t know what to think… That is just not an option anymore.”

CJ: “No, and I’ve since given up smoking!”

H: “Are there any memorable stupid questions or answers that you had to deal with in a case?” CJ: “I’d have to think about that, there are too many. There’s a website about stupid questions lawyers have asked”

H: “Why don’t you have a gavel? What’s the point in being a Justice if you can’t slam down a hammer when someone’s annoying you?” CJ: “Look, it would be quite safe to give me a gavel, and I would use it responsibly. But I couldn’t vouch for all the other judges.” H: “Do you think some of them would take slamming it over the top?” CJ: “Over the top of the heads of some of the barristers, yes.” H: “Do you get some annoying lawyers?” CJ: “Lawyers that make a habit of coming to court unprepared.”

H: “Are you a fan of contempt of court?” CJ: “No, because it’s very technical and you can often get caught up in the details of the procedures.” H: “Have you ever found someone to be in contempt?” CJ: “No, because they usually back down and make good their contempt before they need to be dealt with.”

H: “Have you ever had to deal with those people that try and avoid sentencing by using some historical nonsensical legal jargon or something stupid like that?” CJ: “We occasionally get those, but we get litigants who argue the court has no authority because of some obscure English authority decided five centuries ago. But you can usually follow the logic of their own argument through in a way which negates their point, and it all goes away.”

H: “What is your favourite thing and least favourite thing about the law?” CJ: The best is the opportunity to solve a real problem someone has, but the worst part is the time and money it costs.”

H: “Okay, we are going to have a quick fire round! Of the two options, just pick the one you like—” H: “Pepsi or Coke?” “CJ: Neither.”

H: “Cats or Dogs?” “CJ: Dogs.”

H: “Spiderman or Batman?” “CJ: Batman.”

H: “Equity or Common Law?” “CJ: Common Law.” H: “Punishment or Reform?” “CJ: Punishment (not really).”

H: “Hard or Soft Shell Taco?” “CJ: Hard Shell.”

H: “Dissent or Joint Judgement?” “CJ: Joint Judgement, there’s less writing involved.”

H: “And finally, just the roles you went through to become the most senior member of the South Australian judiciary?” CJ: “Article clerk in a private law firm, legal services commission, suburban law firm, Solicitor-General, Judge and Chief Justice.”

H: “That’s all the questions we have. Thank you for enduring one of the most obscure and unnecessary interviews I’m sure you have ever had. The AULSS thanks you for your time and willingness to participate!” CJ: “My pleasure.”

H: “Okay, here’s a scenario: a law student comes before you in a case after they graduate, and you’re presiding, what’s one piece of advice you would give them?” CJ: “Okay, so they’re running their first case.

The best advice I can give them, early in their career, is to settle it out of court!” H: “So you’re advice is to never have your first case?” CJ: “Yes, but if you do come to court, prepare, prepare, prepare.” H: “Do you have any words of wisdom for aspiring law students, that you think they should take to heart?”

CJ: “My advice is that you have to get more than a 7

Meg Lowe

FACEBOOK FOR Law School Dummies

You are a law student. You are thus Facebook friends with many students. Therefore, it is virtually impossible that you haven’t come across one of those Facebook users. The type that you get extremely irritated by whenever they appear in your newsfeed, yet know that you would secretly miss if you unfriended them. The type that you actively ignore and/or avoid within the Law School, but nevertheless permit into your private sphere, your Facebook world. If you haven’t at least one of this type of Facebook friend, then I dare to say it is you.

This article is for those types. This article is for the people who completely miss the fact that out of the 32 likes on your status, at least 31 of them are done so ironically (and that remaining like is probably just from your mum).

But hey, who are we to define what are good and bad modes of Facebook use? Our credibility was shot from the day we shamelessly quoted Green Day lyrics, or made “8=====D” our status. So, we decided to seek the input of someone whose opinion you actually care about. We sought the scrutiny of someone who works in HR at one of the commercial law firms in Adelaide that many of you have or will in the future apply for clerkships at (legit). Consider this a gift! Never again will you experience such honest feedback from a potential employer. Now, you can learn just how ridiculous your Facebook behaviour appears to those in the professional world before your resume gets shredded or burned due to it.

1. Truly hilarious quips about your lacklustre approach to University. x More irritated by the use of ‘hehe’ than skipping the lecture. Also, who goes to Unibar?

2. Crowdsourcing advice from students who are also 4 assignments deep. x Loser. Would not hire... ever.

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3. Overt Law Enthusiasm that only a handful of your Facebook friends would get. x Would not hire.

Definite deal breaker. Nobody cares about the stupid feather!

4. Pseudo-intellectual commentary x Would not hire.

Offended the Libs.

5. Unnecessary anger towards that volunteer organisation who holds Law Ball. x Attitude of a two-year old... would not hire!

6. One secure way to not make friends. x Deal breaker.

Nobody likes a brownnoser

7. That oh-so-subtle way of telling the world that you got a clerkship interview (or several). x Any excuse to gloat! Arrogance disguised as enthusiasm. Eugh.

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Patrick Edwards

THE TRAVEL MYTH

5 Reasons That Travel Listicles Make You Think You Can Fix Yourself With Travel Have you ever read one of those listicles that says like “10 reasons travel is good for you” or “13 reasons you become a better person when you travel” or my personal least favourite “9 reasons travel leads to self discovery”?

I don’t take issue with the concept of travel being good for you, I’ve travelled myself, it was a bloody good time, and I learned a lot about myself. What I take issue with is how we get sold this idea of the “Travel Epiphany” where if you fly off to Europe, your life will become clear and you’ll be a good person. I would also like to say that I don’t think that you CAN’T have a travel epiphany, or become better or whatever, I just don’t think it WILL happen. I made my own listicle to help get my point across:

1. The Product Listicles and Social Media basically tell you that if you have spare time and you’re young, then you have NO CHOICE but to travel, because otherwise, what do you know? How will you know yourself if you don’t leave Adelaide behind? Listicles and listicles of arbitrary personality traits or ‘discoveries’ that you are supposed to obtain while you’re away. Here is an example: “17. People are amazing and humanity is beautiful” You know what, people are amazing, and humanity is beautiful. However, people are also cruel and manipulative.

For example, I met this one girl on La Rambla in Barcelona. Beautiful black hair and charming smile, we made small talk for about 10 minutes. She eventually offered me illicit drugs, which I declined. Once I said no, she started swearing at me while her friend tried to steal my phone. Upon reflection, I think she probably just wanted me for my money. I’ve never been so hurt in my life.

I know what you’re thinking, “That’s such a narrow view of the world, I personally met wonderful people”.

Good for you kid! You’re a child of Mother Earth herself. Next stop, Sub-Saharan Africa for an internship in a diamond mine.

2. Gap Years: “I don’t really know what to do at uni, so I’ll probably just travel” Okay so I get it, you feel like you have to go to uni because otherwise you will be ill-spoken of in the village (Burnside). However, you can’t choose a degree because Western, capitalist society has offered you sooooooo much choice :( BUT you need to make sure your Instagram and Facebook is filled with enough cool stuff so that you have heaps of cultural currency (or street cred). That way, when it comes to the year of 21st’s you can 10

just start handing people a link to your Facebook on a piece of paper so if they really give a s*** about what you’ve been doing, they can work it out for themselves instead of wading through the absolute Mt Everest of small-talk.

In the end, you’ll probably take the gap year, come back from your travels and then end up doing the exact same degree you deferred in the first place. Later, you will hate the degree and change it, which means you had your epiphany…in Adelaide, or you will love it which means you didn’t actually need to travel to work it out.

3. The Epiphany I think what people think the “Epiphany” is, is that thing you get 2 months into your Contiki tour when you start to freak out that you have to go back to Adelaide soon. At this point you have learned nothing about yourself because you’ve been too busy smashing Pina Coladas on a boat full of Australians while fist pumping to Pitbull because “YOLO, at home I pretend to hate Pitbull because he isn’t on Triple J but his songs are actually so catchy”. So what you do next is panic, and start to have ‘ideas’. The problem with these ‘ideas’ is that you haven’t had real responsibility in months! You’re also probably drunk. ANYTHING sounds like a good idea when vodka raspberries are thirty cents.

4. Heaps of photos that look like this: photo by Moyan Brenn on Flickr.

5. The Expectation I guess what this all comes down to is a created expectation that things will become clearer or easier if you travel. You’ll come back to Adelaide and you’ll have worked it all out, you’ll try at Uni, you’ll sort things out with your ex (or alternatively, find a new, cool partner who is as worldly as you are, but not more so because that’s threatening), you’ll do an internship, you’ll be nicer to people, you’ll buy the Big Issue, give to the poor etc.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who DO work things out, but then maybe you’re not. You probably had a great time, because travel is fun, but you’re back at square 1.

The main problem with this expectation is that if you’re not feeling it… you start to try and have an epiphany.

That’s not how epiphany’s work! It’s like getting out of the friend-zone, getting good deals on ASOS or studying Equity, the harder you try, the less likely you are to succeed. There’s no quick fix.

I don’t dispute that travel is good for you. I’m planning another trip at the end of this year but after my last experience I’m just doing it because it’s fun. I’m not expecting to ‘discover myself ’ or see ‘the real world’ because in the end I have to live the version of me that goes to Uni, works a job and has deep, long-term relationships with friends and family that I can’t just escape by hopping a train to a new city. I’ve realised that I’m still a crappy person sometimes, I cut people off in traffic, the other day I verbalised an impressive point in class because I looked at the notes of the guy next to me and said it before he did. Running away didn’t fix me, but it showed me the work has to be done at home, the place where I have to live with myself for the rest of my life.

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AULSS Law Ball Denial in stylE

Patrick Edwards

I have heard countless people describe Law Ball as “overhyped” or “overrated”. Those people aren’t totally wrong…but they have the wrong idea about what Law Ball really is. Those people are in denial….and you know what they say, “Denial is not just a river in Egypt”.

I want to set the score straight. There are so many expectations that people have about Law Ball that are completely wrong, or people have certain expectations about THEMSELVES at Law Ball that are completely wrong. I’ve compiled a list of the notorious thoughts that people have as the big night draws closer, all of which are not only misguided, but straight up laughable, you know, if we “Keep it real”.

If I am a Law student, and I am online at 7:15pm just to be safe, I am guaranteed a ticket...

Wrong. Just wrong. None of those things help. Best thing to do is start a fling in first year with someone who may be in the LSS in 3 years time. Hold a steady relationship and make nice with their parents. Then, when you get to fourth year, encourage them to be the events organiser. When they become organiser, wait for them to do all the hard work. On the night of the ball, kill them and wear their skin, assuming their identity. You can use their ticket to get into the ball.

desirable trait for their Clerks – but you never know - maybe you should post a picture on Facebook and find out in 5 years when you’ve finished your degree and start looking for work.

I’ll get a great picture of my best friend and myself for a new DP You’ll probably try too hard, and one of you will do a thumbs up. Thumbs up is a gut reaction move that never, ever looks cool. Never do the thumbs up.

Law Ball is a networking opportunity “Tashing on” doesn’t count as networking, even if you add them on Facebook after. I might count it as networking if you have the guts to call them after your trip to the clinic one month later.

Too many people I know who study law, yet do not plan to have a career in it at all, say they go to Law Ball because its a “networking opportunity”. That is like going to a Dwayne Johnson film to learn about acting.

At the end of the day I do not remember Minter Ellison listing “projectile vomiting record” as a 12

I am a law student ipso facto, I deserve a ticket (and one for my friend) It is understandably frustrating that you didn’t get a ticket, you are a law student after all. It is an outrage that someone who does not even study law can go to

the law ball, its the LAW Ball after all. It’s unthinkable that this could happen. However, lets face it, if you had gotten the two tickets you were allocated you probably would have given the other one to a nonlaw student friend. Of course this is fine because your non-law friends are classy though, so they are okay. You just can’t be sure of everyone else’s.

though I keep liking her posts on “Law Chats.”

I’ll wear a floral shirt/tie or and/or a bow tie.

That way I’ll stand out from the crowd.

Every other chump will be doing the same I’m afraid, and when everyone’s super, no one is.

I’ll arrive fashionably late, maybe around 9:30 Don’t be an idiot, it finishes at 12, you need to drink your tickets worth, get there really early and beat the lines. The monetary value is easily worth the vague awkwardness of arriving early. This could even help you because you’ll crash earlier and therefore get more sleep, go you! #fitspo Wearing a white dress is a good idea.

I’m sorry honey, I give it 2 minutes before some schmuck (of which there are many) will spill his red wine on you. Stick to black, or better yet, red wine color.

I’ll be in on the orgy action this year We have all heard the stories about the infamous Law Ball orgy of 2000 and whatever year, but I held true to this belief every year for four years and it’s yet to happen to me. Maybe I’m ugly, or maybe it’s because I think that a floral tie will get me laid.

Anyway, to get in on it this year, let’s meet at the Photo Booth at 11:30pm, I’ll be the guy with the floral tie.

I’ll drink just enough to get a buzz on, but I’ll cab home at midnight so I can finish my Legal Theory essay on Sunday Ha.

I told you not to wear white Carrie, and you just didn’t listen

Tonight will be the night that that boy/girl from Torts/Foundations/PPL notices me The girl I liked in third year noticed me when I stacked it on the dance floor and tried to play it cool by resting my head on my elbows as if I was lounging.

Needless to say, she still doesn’t know my name even

Keep in mind…

Law Ball is a great chance to dress-up and play fancy pants, but it isn’t all Dom Perignon and canapés. Be prepared to get all manner of stains on your clothes, and expect nothing from the opposite sex. If you focus on keeping your feet and vomiting away from other guests’ breathing apparatus, you should have a successful night. Good Luck.

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H U M A N S O FD L I G E R T WO O Humans of Ligertwood

Humans of Ligertwood

4 hrs

“I come to this drink fountain about 9 times a day. They remind me of high school. Where people were nice, teachers knew my name and the woman in the office didn’t glare at me vindictively.”

Humans of Ligertwood

8 hrs

“When I was 7, I watched the movie Legally Blonde for the first time. It was at that moment I knew I wanted a career in the law. Elle Woods, the main character, has a Chihuahua that she carries around during her time at Harvard Law School. It’s because of this that I bring my Chihuahua everywhere I go at uni. I also use legal jargon in everyday life.”

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Humans of Ligertwood

45 hrs - Promoted by Elly Zola

“I’m a tortured soul. It’s hard being a left-wing private school girl in a sea of right-wing private school girls.”

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14 Emily Farrell (with contributions from Elly Zola)

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The Hilarian

Humans of Ligertwood

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Humans of Ligertwood

12 hrs

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“I wear a suit to law school so that my fellow students think I’m important.

I’m not.”

“I’m not a puppet, not yet a human. All I need is time, a moment that is mine, while I’m in between.”

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“I study here. I like it because it means I am close to the earth and can feel the tantalising energy of Mother Nature. I would normally do this under Penelope (the oak tree I named) in the Botanic Gardens, but the Uni’s Wifi cuts out and I need to update my ‘Paleo Popcorn Chicken’ Tumblr.”

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Humans of Ligertwood

17 hrs

“I’m just a stock photo from Microsoft Word’s ClipArt files. I got put here because there was a little extra space on the page that needed to be filled, but the editors didn’t have enough photos from Ligertwood.”

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15

James D’Alessandro

TFW No MARRIAGE

Okay, so extremely Catholic Ireland can do it, but we can’t? That’s right, I’m about to go on a rant about the fact that this democracy (i.e. a system of government which represents the people) can’t let two people of the same gender marry, even though 75% of the population is all for gay marriage. Now I wasn’t good at maths, but I’m almost certain that 75% is a majority… Not sure if democracy or…

How can people be happy with bringing back archaic knighthoods to give to the Queen’s husband, but not support taking a few words out of The Marriage Act? (No offense to the Queen, God save her.)

You know how there’s those stories about coloured people and white people not being able to share a drink fountain at school or get married? It seems almost unreal doesn’t it? It’s going to be super awkward when our children ask us “what were you thinking when you wouldn’t let gay people marry?” and we have to answer with something like…um…no…I have no idea how to continue this sentence, because I just don’t understand either.

I like how we can grow limbs out of air, cure blindness, stream The Avengers from across the universe and harness the power of the sun, but we, for some reason, need to hold on to our Amish, primitive view of marriage.

“Yeah, but even if gay marriage becomes legal, it shouldn’t be called marriage; marriage is between a man and a woman…a sacred, long respected institution.” Are you kidding me? There’s that stupid show on TV called ‘Married at First Sight’ or something like that, idk and idc tbh. If you can tell me how that TV show reflects the sanctity of marriage then you are my inspo… and I will listen to every word you say for the rest of my life. Furthermore, for a woman to object to gay marriage on the basis of tradition… Do you realise that the marriage (in its purest traditional form) directly objectifies you? You, the possession, are handed by one patriarch to another patriarch for payment. These are the historic roots of marriage. So why, just why, would anyone want to use ‘the sacred traditions of marriage’ as ammunition to argue against gay marriage. Its 2015, women don’t have smaller brains anymore.

I can understand some of the politician’s fears though; apparently if two men, or two women, get married, Parliament House will erupt in a blaze of rainbow flames and be consumed into gay purgatory (you know it’s gay purgatory, because gay people and straight people are so inherently different). Rumour has it, that ex-leader (now dead) of the Westboro Baptist Church is living in paradise because the divine being(s) above saw his great work in hindering the gay’s right to be happy, and they thought: “you know what, this guy deserve a reward,” and we all know politicians wouldn’t want to miss out on that. Jk… I’m sure he’s in purgatory where he has to live in a world where the gays are in charge and there’s a Mardi-Gras parade every day!!!

Lets make 2015 the year of the sinners gays.

16

Bush Justice Samuel McDonough

I have been pretty lucky; I got the job I wanted soon after graduating. The only problem being that it was in a country town.

I am a born and bred Adelaidean. I’ve sunk thousands into The Ex, I think the new oval is heaps good, and I am as defensive about the Malls Balls as I am my own. Considering the job climate though, I dutifully accepted the position offered, packed my things and left. And it may prove to be the best decision I ever made.

As I travelled up the long roads watching the dirt change from brown to red I found myself thrust not only into the already daunting world of criminal law, but also into the daunting (but for completely different reasons) world of country life.

One of the starkest distinctions between practicing in the country as opposed to the city is that there is no anonymity. The people you assisted that morning in the 11:30 list with a plea or remand are likely to be at the local trying to buy you a pint at 11:30 that night. You do awkwardly run into clients on the street out the front of your house while you’re bringing the bins in, stumbling over small talk trying to disguise the fact that this is indeed your house, and that you are just such a selfless individual whom assists old ladies by bringing their bins in, in your spare time.

Essentially, you quickly become known by people you have never met as ‘the lawyer’.

The sacrifice of anonymity does however mean that, to a large extent, you are it. You are exposed to everything immediately. There is no easing into an issue or matter, you’re just up on your hind legs making your submissions to a Magistrate who has 90 other matters in the list and wants to know what the hell you’re doing there. It can be nerve-racking at first, but it is also the best way to learn. If you wait until you feel as though you’re ready to make these applications and put your arguments to the decision

makers you’ll never do it. You will pack your dacks and you will make mistakes. Fortunately, in the country there a r e rarely other solicitors in the court to see you, and the other punters in the room in all likelihood won’t have noticed. And after an appropriate dressing down from the person in the high chair you can be damn sure you’ll never do it again.

Because of my move I’ve already taken instructions from murderers in prison, ran trials and I carry my own file load. These are things some of my peers can only dream of as their retinas are fried from photocopier lights dreaming of the day they get to research s 21 of the Evidence Act for a partner.

There is also the fact that, while small, the country legal community is incredibly tight-knit. Lawyers come from towns away to attend a dinner. It is not at all uncommon, and indeed often it is expected, to sit down to a meal with the local Magistrates or Judges when they pop in for a circuit. That is unlikely to happen in the big smoke, and it allows for the Judiciary to get to know you in a way that can only prove positive (depending on how the night deteriorates).

Finally, there are the stories which can only come out of a country court. Whether it be a sex toy magnanimously turning itself on, whilst being exhibited to the great embarrassment of the associate, or the fact that, after breaking into a bakery, eating all the vanilla slice, passing out and being found by the baker in the morning, a chap was given a job - the baker noticed his obvious passion for sweet treats. The country courts can be their own source of entertainment, while of course administering the justice process with the utmost of professionalism.

In short, become a better lawyer, go bush. At least for a while. If I haven’t already sold you, my stubbie holder collection is out of sight.

17

Communication 101 Emily Farrell

The University of Adelaide Law School: Creating awkward social interactions since 1883.

Read our tips on how to avoid and cope with horrifically embarrassing encounters around campus.

Scenario #1: Hooking up with the attractive girl/boy from your Crim seminar at Law Ball.

Remain calm. Remember, it’s the beginning of June and you have a maximum of four seminars left with them.

You can deal with this situation in two ways. Depending on your behavior on the night, there’s always the option to avoid. Did you drunkenly stumble up to them and yell ‘HEY!!!! YOU’RE THE HOT GUY FROM MY SEMINAR”? If you did, then it’s probably best to drop out of the course. The WF on your transcript is worth bypassing the awkwardness of your next seminar together. It’s best to consider deleting all forms of social media as well. Everyone knows the postkiss-facebook-instagram-twitter-tumblrmyspace-msn-piczo- stalk is likely to happen.

On the other hand, if you choose to weather the storm, it’s likely best to ignore. Just pretend it never happened, remembering to avoid eye contact at all costs. Where you previously might have given a smile, scrap that and keep your head down. Maybe even keep your earphones in for the entire seminar, up to you.

Seating strategy becomes crucial at this point, as well as laptop positioning. It’s advisable to sit close to the door incase you are paired up in a class, this way you can swiftly exit.

Scenario #2: Attempting to take a photo of tutor and the flash goes off.

Oh boy. Asides from farting in class, this is up there on the list of most humiliating. We’ve all been there; your tutor is wearing a waistcoat with track pants or teaching you meditation instead of torts. When these events occur, the urge to My Story is understandable. While blushing and pretending it didn’t happen is an option, it’s best to blame it on the person sitting next to you. Firstly, stash the phone as quickly as possible. Then begin by intensely glaring at the person next to you - hopefully everyone else will follow. Incorporating *shifty eyes* can further insure the incident is completely deflected. Otherwise, just dive under the table and stay there until the class is finished.

Scenario #3 When you think someone is waving to you, but they’re actually waving to the person behind you.

This predicament will not only haunt you in Taib Mahmud, but will also follow you throughout life. There’s nothing worse than the weird expression given when you wave to someone who isn’t waving to you. This unfortunate situation can lead to prolonged stress and anxiety. The University of Adelaide offers a drop-in counseling service from 1pm-4pm everyday where you can find trained professionals to help. If you’re feeling brave, you can deal with these encounters by creating 18

an imaginary person. This means pretending that you’re ACTUALLY waving to someone else. It’s worthwhile yelling a “How’s it going?!” at this said imaginary person. Please be aware that you risk further embarrassment when no one responds. You can also just start running, and never come back.

Scenario #4: When is it appropriate to give the ‘nod’ as opposed to stopping and having a chat?

This is perhaps the most difficult of interactions to decipher. For the most part, you’re going to spend your university days pretending to ignore people on campus. However, on the rare occasion you want to engage in social interactions, the following is crucial. A number of factors must be considered when deciding which form of greeting to go with. University friends can often be grouped into four different categories: 1-People who you went to school with but don’t like.

2-Randoms from past seminars and group assignments who you’ve recently deleted on Facebook.

3-Friends of friends that you’ve been introduced to but can’t remember name.

4-Mature age students who are still pending in your friend requests.

5-Friends.

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Generally speaking, categories 1,2 3 and 4 all provide well for the ‘nod’. You don’t really care what subjects they’re doing or how they went in the take-home, so why waste 5 minutes of your day pretending to care? Category 5 is self-explanatory.

Well there you have it, folks. Hopefully your emotional wellbeing will be a litter better off thanks to this guide.

On the other hand... Disclaimer: The Hilarian take no responsibility for the effectiveness/outcome of the tips given above. The advice may lead to further embarrassment and humiliation that may be impossible to come back from. If you would like yo make a complaint, please “like” The Hilarian on Facebook. We will accept your “like” as a complaint and deal accordingly.

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19

Clerkships at Lipman Karas I started at Lipman Karas as a winter clerk. What immediately stood out in my first week still rings true six years later. LK stands apart for three reasons: the quality of the work; the quality of the people; and the quality of the culture.

Work Practitioners at Lipman Karas have the opportunity to work on some of the most complex, challenging and interesting litigation work in Australia and internationally.

The matters we work on require thorough legal research and the distillation of large amounts of factual data. Young lawyers at Lipman Karas work directly with principals of the firm, as well as counsel and independent experts, on all aspects of major cases, where national and international firms appear on the opposing side. Typical work includes attending meetings and conferences, conducting research as the basis for submissions and other legal documents, and discussing tactics and case strategy.

Within eighteen months of being an associate at Lipman Karas, I found myself assisting in court in the appeal Westpac v The Bell Group Limited, which was, and still is, the largest civil litigation action in Australian history. Currently I am working on another major case, preparing for a trial in the Supreme Court of Western Australia.

Other junior lawyers at the firm get similar experience, working on matters not only in Australia, but also in Hong Kong, England and the Channel Islands. Most young lawyers in the profession will never have the opportunity to work on such matters: at LK, you will do so, daily. And yes, there are travel opportunities!

People The practitioners and support staff at LK are experts at what they do. They are dedicated, intelligent and conscientious people. It is a firm where you can get unrivalled opportunities to work on major projects, and be taught by some of the leaders in their field.

But it’s not all about technical and strategic acumen. The people that work at Lipman Karas are friendly and approachable. There are no over-powering egos. People here understand that the best results are achieved by working as a collaborative team where everyone participates. The relatively small size of the firm

means that every member of the team’s contribution is valued and recognised. Working in teams also allows the firm’s junior lawyers to have daily interaction with the firm’s principals, get hands on experience on how major project litigation is conducted, and hone their research and forensic skills.

Culture The culture at a law firm, like any place of work, is extremely important. The firm’s relatively small size means everyone feels included. Outside of work, the firm has an active social and charity portfolio, which organises Friday night drinks, fun runs, charity fundraisers and regular afternoon teas for staff birthdays and other personal milestones. The firm also regularly undertakes pro bono work and has a strong CPD program. Junior lawyers at the firm are given opportunities to run these portfolios, enabling them to not only practice law, but learn about the management side of legal practice, as well as contributing to the community.

The firm takes a genuine long term interest in its junior lawyers. After clerking at LK for six months, I took a leave of absence to undertake an associateship with Justice Vanstone in the Supreme Court, then returned to the firm to continue practice. More recently, the firm has been supportive in my undertaking part time postgraduate studies.

Other young lawyers at LK have pursued similar paths.

Lipman Karas celebrated its 10th birthday in 2014. In the first ten years it has grown from a firm of eleven practitioners to a firm that has a reputation as one of the leading specialist law firms both in Australia and internationally. During this expansion the firm has continued to maintain the same high standards in relation to the work undertaken and the opportunities provided to staff to continually improve and be challenged. There is an ongoing commitment to knowledge, teamwork and thoroughness. It is an exciting place to work.

If you think you have what it takes to work on career defining projects with lawyers who are leaders in their field, please apply for a clerkship at Lipman Karas.

Lucas Arnold Senior Associate

Just Cause, Just cos’

Patrick Edwards

On Tuesday the 12th of May, I found myself lost for words as an ex-prime minister handed me quiche. It wasn’t your stock-standard Tuesday morning that’s for sure... Why would Julia Gillard, of all people, be serving quiche to law students? For justice obviously...

The JusticeNet’s 2015 Walk for Justice was a resounding success this year. Participants raised money for JusticeNet, who provide free legal help to disadvantaged clients, including those with disabilities. The walk started at the locally renowned pillar of justice: Ligertwood. From there we walked along the Torrens River and eventually headed back to Victoria Square for a complimentary breakfast whipped up by South Australian Icon, Maggie Beer.

It was a great morning, it was really cool to be part of a bigger cause, but I regret not doing any actual fundraising. When I signed up I literally thought it was more of a symbolic gesture, and honestly, I think I actually caused a detriment to JusticeNet by eating the complimentary breakfast when I had in fact raised no money. Despite the fact that breakfast was delicious and that there were a few big names to be ‘selfied’, such as CJ Kourakis and the aforementioned Ex-PM, I found myself weighed down with well-deserved guilt. It was that, or my heavy, rain soaked clothes.

Upon reflection I have come up with a few tips to make JusticeWalk 2016 even better:

Don’t wear free-runs Are these shoes actually good for anything? You can’t run in them because they provide less support than a father who has learned his son’s sport of choice - mathletics. You also can’t walk in them most of the year because they keep water out about as well as a tampon in a swimming pool. They also slip easily on Adelaide’s infamous pavers, free-runs suck.

Read the event details before signing up What idiot agrees to something that he hasn’t even read? This isn’t the Facebook terms and conditions. If you aren’t into fundraising don’t do it, and also don’t assume it’s not a fundraising event.

Raise funds JusticeNet is a great cause. If you don’t believe that access to legal representation is a right shared by all, get the heck out of the law school. Next year I am going to make a bigger effort, partly because I think the cause is great, and partly because I hate it when Flinders Uni win things.

Prepare things to say to famous people When Julia Gillard noticed I was a law student, thanks to my cool law school hoodie, she asked: “How’s law school?” My immediate, ill-thought-out response was “Great thanks Jules!” in barely comprehensible English.

Firstly, I lied to the Ex-Pm, and secondly, “Jules”? Really? Who do I think I am?

21

Elly Zola and Beau Brug

Speed Dating With Beau Brug After declining numerous pop-up ads regarding “Age-Gap Chatrooms” and tips on “How to Score a Widow”, the oh so academically informative futurescopes.com supplied me with an article titled “The 45 Best Speed Dating Questions You Should Ask a Prospective Date”. Unfortunately, unlike other Hilarian editors, I really have no prestigious social connections, so for this Hilarian edition I set my sights on Beau Brug. A name that you have probably heard muttered around Ligertwood and a face that potentially monopolizes your newsfeed, if not your event notifications.

In this BB exclusive I ask Beau some of these invasive questions recommended by ‘Wif3Materiel_88’ – along with some of my own Adelaide University related ones – in an attempt to give you an insight into what really lies behind that alliterative name.

So, you are currently studying a double degree in Law and International Studies, interning with the Attorney-General, coordinating the Adelaide University Lions Club, an avid member of Adelaide University’s Model United Nations Society and the Adelaide Student’s Toastmasters Club, managing a KFC, practicing as a personal trainer, volunteering at numerous charity organisations and last year you even ran for local council contesting East Ward… What is your secret Beau Brug? Nana-naps?

No-Doz? Well when you put it like that, it sounds like a lot, it’s not really. There’s no secret. I am no Dr. Phil but I’ve never taken ‘No-doz’ and I cannot sleep during the day – perhaps when I’m much later in my degree I most probably will try both. It’s ‘overheard’ that Edith Cowan University in WA have ‘sleeping pods’ on campus.

But all jokes aside it comes down to your priorities and what you find important. In my experience you find time for the activities in life that you find the most important and/or satisfying. In my regard, contributing to my community and bettering myself are pretty high on my list. I.e. Interning with the Attorney-General for the slim hope that I may get a job end of my degree #OneLikeOnePrayer, personal training literally because I am interested in the human body and nutrition to benefit my well-being and involvement in professional organisations such as Toastmasters alongside other law students to improve my public speaking skills. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I don’t have a relationship which frees up a bit more time in the schedule.

Tell us a little bit more about The Lions Club, I for one, until a quick Facebook stalk last night, thought it concerned organised sport.

BB: Haha! People have suggested that we were an animal focused club also, it’s quite interesting! Lions Clubs, such as the one I chartered December last year, belong to Lions Clubs International (LCI) which is the largest service organisation in the World with over 46,000 local clubs and more than 1.4 million members in over 200 countries around the world united to make the World a better place, one of few organisations to have a day dedicated to them by the United Nations. (E: Ah yes, yep, I feel disgustingly uneducated rn) On campus we exist as a multi-faculty organisation, to help the students, it is not a single-issue club and 22

organise projects on multiple issues such as mental health, poverty alleviation, sight restoration and disease prevention to name a few. We recognise that students are rarely ONLY passionate about one issue and we give them the opportunity to contribute to multiple causes that they have interest in rather than having to joining lots. One activity students may be interested in is joining us at Christmas and helping feed those in need.

The club attracts students from all faculties and acts a solid foundation for young people to make a difference through the Lions framework, with the support of an international org it makes it much easier to make a difference and is very different to a regular ‘uni club’. So come along and learn more – ‘like’ us on fb and flick us an email to get on the mailing list. info@aulc.net.au or search ‘Adelaide University Lion’s Club’ on fb. Help the community, enhance your resume through developing professional skills and make lasting friendships.

And so in what year do you think you’ll be running for Prime Minister?

Ain’t no body got time fo dat. Nah in all seriousness when I can drink 2.5 pints of beer faster than Bob Hawke (11 seconds) then I will enter Federal Politics.

Haha, great response. Do you have a personal motto?

‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.’ Maya Angelou The quote speaks to me; I think life isn’t just about reaching our goals but taking time to enjoy the journey on the way there.

What’s your favourite event on the Law School calendar? AULSS Law Ball – without a doubt!

Followed closely by Law Revue!

As a certified personal trainer, what is your #1 weight-loss tip? Your first Personal Training consultation of 30 mins is completely free.

Ooo what an entrepreneur. Is it not a conflict of interest that you work as a personal trainer yet also manage a KFC restaurant?

I would argue that it is strategically genius. I know statistically that both the fitness and fast food industries are growing rapidly. Therefore straight after that delicious twister I am more than happy to help you start doing Bulgarian split squats, and ensure you may have the best of both worlds.

“Let me show you my mens rea”

How much do you bench?

It depends; most gym-junkies go by the ‘one-rep’ max which is the maximum amount of force that can be generated in one maximal contraction. My one-rep max bench press is close to double my body weight. Which is considered very good. How much do you lift? (Do you even lift ‘bro’?)

Haha no I certainly don’t, I have weedy Millhouse arms. Okay, given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Hard, so many people spring to mind… Perhaps Emma Watson <3 or the Hilarian Editors if I can have more than one dinner guest?

Oh, right answer. What is your greatest accomplishment? Using my acceptance speech to direct all 500 distinguished attendees at an Awards night to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to my Mum. The awards night was on her birthday and thought it would be a lovely Birthday present. I am a big believer in memories and I remember how surprised and happy she was when it happened, that’ll stay with me forever.

And finally, where do you see yourself in twenty years?

OMG pls stahp with the hard questions. Right now in 20 years’ time, I hope to be in Spain, sipping Martinis (shaken not stirred) on a short holiday with my family in Barcelona taking a well-earned break from my incredibly rewarding but stressful job as The Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court.

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Ligertwood Today

Vol 21, No 14

Copyright AULSS

Adelaide, Australia

$1.50

STUDENTS ARE PRO-TESTING STUDENTS RALLY AGAINST LAW SCHOOL DECISION TO MOVE TOWARD TAKE-HOME EXAMS

Adl, SA: Students of the University of Adelaide’s Law School have rallied on campus grounds for the return of the traditional examination format.

The University has come under heavy fire for trialling the use of take-home examinations to assess students’ understanding and knowledge of their course materials, citing budget cuts and Wayville Showground consistently being cold.

Students say that take-home exams don’t truly represent the real world conditions faced by lawyers today.

“I just don’t understand why we should be given 2 days to write this exam,” fourth year student Emily Ellis said. “In the workforce you’d more often than not have to see five clients in one sitting over three hours, all with about two to three administrative law problems that I need to solve.”

According to a report in last week’s The Advertiser, the University’s law examination results from 2014 saw students drastically less stressed than in 2013, while instances of command-f use increased by 100%.

Additionally, 74.5% of students admit that they have forgotten whether or not to put their names on the exam scripts.

Student Union Vice President David Edwards says that the University’s decision also has far reaching implications on local businesses. Red Bull sales from a convenience store near the Law School have decreased 75% over the last week, with only the desperately sleep-deprived and skateboarders still investing heavily in the product. South Australian Internet provider AdamNet has also reported that YouTube views of “Ellen pranks Taylor Swift” and subsequently, “Taylor Swift: Bad Blood (Ft. Kendrick Lamar)” have also gone up threefold—a slightly misleading statistic, however, as that is a great song.

Although very worrying, Associate Professor Lindsey Graham remains unfazed, if somewhat confused.

“I just don’t understand why students are unhappy with this,” he said in a press conference yesterday. “I thought this would make things easier for everyone.”

The University has said that the decision will be reviewed, and disgruntled lecturers will be asked to write confusing Constitutional Law exams just in case.

Alex Chu 24

LIGERTWOOD MOVE CLUB Nothing makes you feel inspired to do a DRE assignment like watching a compelling legal flick! With SWOTVAC approaching, what better way to spend those brisk June/July days than cozying up under the quilt, watching movies in bed? Here are a few movies that will waste the day away - but totally still make you feel like you’re doing something slightly productive.

To Kill A Mockingbird 1962 This is one of the all time classics. The film gets its title from the song, Mockingbird by rapper Eminem, on which the movie is loosely based. The film takes you on a whimsical and enchanting journey about Mockingbird, Marshall, whose neck is broken and then subsequently dies. At the very heart of the film lies the mystery of how Marshall’s neck was broken. An epic legal battle takes place between Marshall’s offspring and the State to discover the truth behind what happened to their father.

Phildelphia 1993 If you’re a Tom Hanks fan, this one is for you! Forget Forrest Gump, this romantic, bildungsroman, comedy about cream cheese is undoubtedly the best performance of his career. The movie follows the life of bakery worker, John. He has spent his entire life trying to create the perfect bagel and cream cheese combination. Follow him on his journey of discovery, making the decision to leave his wife of 23 years for his true love, Philadelphia.

Anatomy of a Murder 1959 This documentary gives you a shocking and disturbing insight into the making of hit television show, Grey’s Anatomy. Follow the crew as they reveal the truth behind the “bodies” used for scenes in the operating room. Whilst critics at the Port Pirie International Film Festival (PPIFF) panned this film, it was one of the highest grossing films of the summer season at the Victor Harbor cinema – now that’s saying something.

Kramer vs Kramer 1979 As the second documentary to make the list, Kramer vs Kramer follows the daily life of embattled comedian, Michael Richards.

After his fall from grace surrounding his racial rant in 2012, Richards was ostracized from the acting community. Watch as the fallen star attempts to rebuild his career and name. If you enjoyed Dickie Robert’s: Former Child Star, this one is for you. This film is sure to make you laugh AND cry at the same time. Now how many movies can make you do that?

Emily Farrell 25

Hugo Balnaves

Legal Horoscopes With the resident Ligertwood psychic, Cosmic Crennen AC

“Fasten your seatbelts as I, Susan Marie, take you on a fun and sexy journey to explore yourself. I can’t wait to see what we find”.

Aries With the release of the annual Budget and some seriously heavy cosmic energy from both Mercury and Venus, a great deal of misfortune is coming your way. You may cut your finger on a sharp edge. You will continue to hemorrhage uncontrollably. Unfortunately you will die.

I will be completely unaffected by this.

Taurus Ah Taurus, the powerful bull, the meaty cow! Tender and marbled with fat. Cooked - rare, very rare. Sliced thin, with some kind of aged white balsamic vinegar, and perhaps a walnut for crunch. It sounds to me like we’ve got a Carpaccio. You will eat this Carpaccio and die of some sort of brain aneurysm caused by a rare strain of deadly bacteria.

Gemini You will notice that you are beginning to bleed from your eyes when you cry. You will undergo extensive medical tests and find that you have a benign tumor in your retina. It is actually your unborn twin. You ate her/him in the womb.

Cancer Did you have a bad dream last night Cancer? Well I have bad news. Last night was Solstice Eve on the pagan calendar. Demon spirits got into your brain and have now taken over your body.

You’re now part of a demon family and cannot be saved. Sorry!

Leo It seems someone is trying to mess with your mane. Do not let them. You’re a fire sign. Burn them.

Virgo Virgo, the virgin sign. You’re in luck my dear girl; the moon is out in full and is radiating all that juicy magical moonlight right towards you! What does this mean? Cosmic Crennen is not sure. However, our stars have aligned and this bad bitch is ready to play. Call me.

Libra Ah, Libra, my least favourite star sign. You’re much worse than a crab, you’re not even a living thing – you’re scales. On the balance of probabilities, you are pathetic. Your lack of selfconfidence sickens me.

26

Scorpio You will be in an incident involving a diffuser and a screen door. Everyone will perceive you as a disappointment. Today I thought all my windows were frosted but it was actually my cataracts. Ha! Sagittarius Look to the stars, Sagittarius. Tonight you will feel an invigorating surge of space power inside you as Mars enters the Saturn. Cosmically, this literally makes no sense at all. Despite all this, you will probably die in your sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow.

Capricorn You will be stalked by a pack of wild badgers. You too must find safety in numbers. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re like me and have no friends, seek refuge in an abandoned silver mine. Everyone knows badgers hate silver and graphite.

Aquarius You will drown in your own tears. Sorry!

Pisces According to Cosmic Crennen Pisces is not a legitimately accredited star sign and is not recognised by the IAA (international astrological association). If you in the past considered yourself as a Pisces, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re throat will probably close up tomorrow morning and you will asphyxiate in your bed. Sorry!

SURVIVING EXAMS Activity Colour this in, as you please: If anyone actually does do this please Instagram it and tag us (@thehilarian). There are still, however, no tote bags involved.

Local Presence

Global Opportunities

Lipman Karas is a specialist legal practice representing corporate, government and private clients.

A career at Lipman Karas provides opportunities and experiences that are unrivalled in South Australia.

With offices in Adelaide, Hong Kong and London, our team has a proven track record of consistently outstanding results in some of the most challenging, complex and high profile commercial litigation in the Asia Pacific region and internationally.

Lipman Karas offers practitioners a chance to work with lawyers who are recognised as leaders in their field on litigation projects, investigations and inquiries that are unique in both magnitude and complexity across many jurisdictions.

Clerkship applications close Thursday, 30 April 2015. For information on the application process please visit lipmankaras.com.

AWARDS 2014

Best International Firm for Work Life Balance 2014 Best Australasian Firm for Talent Management 2013 Best Adelaide Firm 2012, 2013, 2014