An Investigation into the Parentage of Sophie Sheridan

Hilarian Exclusive: An Investigation into the Parentage of Sophie in Mamma Mia!

by Christiana Michaels.

The world we live in is comprised of many great mysteries. Where is flight MH370? Is there a lost city of Atlantis? Will any of my dignity be restored after quiz night?

Aside from these perplexing conundrums, one specific dilemma rises above the rest, encompassing many nights of lost sleep from deep thought. Who is Sophie’s biological dad in Mamma Mia? I am unashamed to say I have seen Mamma Mia countless times. Unsurprisingly, the film has ingrained itself as a personal favourite, with the combination of my two great loves in life – ABBA, and a fantasy fictional romance in Greece. Although the conclusion of Sophie accepting all father prospects into her life is wonderfully Hollywood, I refuse to accept the fairy-tale resolve that the characters have no inkling of curiosity about her parentage. So, I have bravely taken one for the team, and encompassed the role of Maury in determining who really IS the father. For the purposes of this analysis, I will be using the timeline in the original film and musical as set out in Honey Honey, as the botched timeline in the sequel is clearly for artistic license (but young Bill DO be fire though).

SAM CARMICHAEL

July 17th. With Sam ultimately being love of Donna’s life, it is often predicted that he is the most likely biological father of Sophie. Truthfully, a love child of 007 and Miranda Priestly would be a bad bitch, conducting foreign surveillance in the Chanel boots. A clear factor in Sam’s favour is the extended time he spent with Donna in comparison to our other options (approximately a week if utilising the Name of the Game lyrics), increasing his parentage odds. Furthermore, Sophie also possesses Sam’s artistic abilities, with the Our Last Summer scene demonstrating her exceptional skills drawing his portrait. According to Google and a petrified sneans(y) Science student I found in the Taste Baguette line, the ability to draw and utilise artistic vision can indeed be an inherited talent. Moreover, the genetic dynamic of Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan does possess the ability to result in Amanda Seyfried’s green eyes, however, a detailed history into their respective parents for a Year 10 Biology style punnet square is unfortunately not possible.

BILL ANDERSON

August 4th. Unsurprisingly, Bill’s fair features makes him another favourite in the genetic game. The blonde hair of Stellan Skarsgärd compliments that of Streep wonderfully, with Seyfried physically appearing as a most likely child of the couple. Another core theory in favour of Bill is revealed after Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, whereby Donna’s connection with his great aunt Sophia is determined. Per Bill, Aunt Sophia left Donna money to start her hotel, supposedly only left for family. Although this is clarified in the sequel as a chance encounter between the women, I question the sanity of the man for assuming his clearly distant relative has a better understanding of his sex life and it’s results than himself. Did he waltz into an awkward family dinner to hear “wear a jumper, fix the rips in your jeans, you have a child”? Probably not. Moreover, theorists have even claimed Bill’s surname and Swedish heritage being a direct association with ABBA, and specifically member Benny Anderson, implies he is the true father of the story. This is a trash argument.

HARRY BRIGHT

August 11th. I would like to first acknowledge that Harry must be protected at all costs, and remains my favourite character within this entire franchise (other than young Bill, obviously). Harry’s encounter, per all films, was brief, and genetically Colin Firth’s dark and handsome dominant genes do not physically align with the fair Sophie. Regardless, it is obvious that the timeline of Donna’s encounters expanding over a month would have likely seen her experience a full menstrual cycle, including the potential elimination of Sam or Bill from the equation. Based on this, Harry might just have a slim chance. Regardless, although he might not be the biological father of Sophie, he still remains the biggest daddy of the story.

I hear you ask, what does this all mean? Who is the winner that takes it all? Ultimately, the battle clearly rests between Sam and Bill. Alongside my bets on the Crows getting the wooden spoon and a forthcoming NGP in Admin, I would put my money on Sam. His elongated time with Donna seems to be the most prominent factor in some increased odds, alongside a genetic compatibility and the timeline enabling Donna to present the symptoms of pregnancy. So, you think it’s clear that I have wasted an embarrassingly large portion of my time trying to solve a problem with too many subjective factors and loopholes (sounds a bit like my law degree but whatever)? My sentiments

exactly.