The Knot Spring 2024 by The Knot

Our

2024 Trend Report

LOOKS STRAIGHT FROM THE RUNWAY

MAKE THEM YOURS

HEADPIECES THAT TURN HEADS

Wedding Food From Around the World

G E T I N S P I R E D N O W

PLUS: SHOP OUR DAY- OF ESSENTIALS

W E ’ V E G O T YO U R SOMETHING BLUE IMAGINE SAYING YOUR VOWS ALONG THE GLISTENING COASTS IN THE CARIBBEAN, SURROUNDED BY THE OCEAN AND ALL YOUR LOVED ONES – IN VIEW. BEACHES ® RESORTS IS WHERE UNFORGETTABLE FAMILY MEMORIES START. SO DOES A LIFETIME OF LOVE.

B E A C H E S . C O M | 1 . 8 7 7. B E A C H E S O R C A L L YO U R T R AV E L A D V I S O R JAMAICA | TURK S AND CAICOS Beaches® is a registered trademark. Unique Vacations, Inc. is an affiliate of Unique Travel Corp., the worldwide representative of Beaches Resorts. 8247/1223

ELEVATE YOUR SOUND.

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CONTENTS

Get Inspired 2024 100

F E AT U R E S

SEX (RE)EDUCATION

Take notes with our modern guide to sexual wellness.

GATHERINGS ACROSS GENERATIONS

110

Do boomer, millennial and Gen Z couples see eye-to-eye on weddings?

BEYOND THE VEIL We can’t stop thinking about alternative headpieces.

THE TOP WEDDING TRENDS OF 2024

120

ENCHANTED BEAUTY

What’s in and what’s out? Take a peek at 24 ideas we love.

Your fairy-tale love story deserves a five-star stay at these historic castles.

OF COURSE, MARRIAGE We investigate why premarital counseling is here to stay.

FARE PLAY Discover food and catering traditions from around the world.

ON THE COVER

115

Beyond the Veil Earrings by Jennifer Behr

Dress by Honor; hairband by Simone Rocha from Cloak Wardrobe; earrings by Rebecca Vallance; shoes by Roger Vivier; bouquet wrap by AREA for Clark Wardrobe. Veils by Elie Saab, Viktor & Rolf, Nadia Manjarrez Bridal. Photography by Nadya Wasylko; styling by Rebecca Dennett; hair by Anike Rabiu; makeup by Moises Ramirez; nails by Yukie Miyakawa; set design by Elaine Winter; tailoring by Olga Dudnick for Lars Nord Studio; modeling by Jiri Braxton/IMG Models.

THE KNOT

CONTENTS

120

Get Inspired

2024 76 FA S H I O N & B E AU T Y

RUNWAY REPORT

STYLE & PLANNING

LET’S CELEBRATE– RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

EDITORS’ PICKS Find our favorite board games, bath-time essentials and inspiring everyday items.

Travel inspired this couple’s wedding in Virginia.

GOING FOR GLAM

PARTY ON

An NFL player’s luxe destination wedding in California.

These creative ideas will upgrade your prewedding events.

FINDING “THE ONE” We help one lucky couple discover dream venue options.

60 86

MODERN MEET-CUTE Do Hollywood-worthy love stories happen to normal people?

Refine your wedding vision with prompts from a top event planner.

IN THIS ISSUE 10

ED LETTER

THE DOWNLOAD

DEAR LENNON

LOVE

54 THE SEASON’S

128 WISE WORDS

A surprise proposal turns into a wedding in this whirlwind love story.

THE KNOT

In lieu of a bridesmaid luncheon, one Texan hosted a slumber party.

GET THE PICTURE

WILL YOU MARRY ME...TODAY?

PJ & DJ PARTY

INGREDIENT

CASTLE, RUNWAY: PROVIDED BY VENDORS; CROQUEMBOUCHE: SHUTTERSTOCK; EGG: NATALIE ROMINE; TABLE: JANEY PAKPAHAN PHOTOGRAPHY

The hottest styles from fashion week, ranging from capes to pastels.

E XECUTIVE E D ITO R

CRE ATIVE D IREC TO R

Lauren Kay

Nathalie Kirsheh

E D ITO RIAL O PE R ATI O N S MANAG E R

D E PUT Y E D ITO R

Meesha Diaz Haddad

Esther Lee

FE ATU RE S & TR AVE L S E NI O R E D ITO R , RE L ATI O N S HIP S & S E X E D ITO R , E NTE RTAINM E NT & CE LE B RIT Y

PL ANNIN G & S T YLE S E NI O R E D ITO R S E NI O R E D ITO R , WE D D IN G S E D ITO R A S S O CIATE E D ITO R

Jamie Cuccinelli Sarah Hanlon

Kim Forrest Hannah Nowack Samantha Iacia Chapelle Johnson

S TR ATEGY, O PE R ATI O N S & CO M M E RCE D IREC TO R , D I G ITAL CO NTE NT S TR ATEGY A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , E D ITO RIAL O PE R ATI O N S S E NI O R MANAG E R , CO M M E RCE CO NTE NT S TR ATEGY CO M M E RCE E D ITO R FA S HI O N CO NTE NT S TR ATEG I S T PL ANNIN G & S T YLE CO NTE NT S TR ATEG I S T A S S O CIATE CO M M E RCE E D ITO R A S S I S TANT CO M M E RCE U PDATE S E D ITO R D I G ITAL E D ITO RIAL PRO D U CE R A S S I S TANT D I G ITAL E D ITO RIAL PRO D U CE R

FA S HI O N & B E AUT Y S E NI O R E D ITO R S IZE IN CLU S IVIT Y & B E AUT Y E D ITO R A S S O CIATE FA S HI O N E D ITO R , M E N SWE AR A S S I S TANT FA S HI O N CO M M E RCE E D ITO R CO NTRIB UTIN G FA S HI O N E D ITO R

VI S UAL S , PRO D U C TI O N & VID EO D E S I G NE R D I G ITAL D E S I G NE R PH OTO E D ITO R CO NTRIB UTIN G CO PY E D ITO R CO NTRIB UTIN G RE S E ARCH E D ITO R D IREC TO R O F E D ITO RIAL VID EO PRO G R AM M IN G A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , E D ITO RIAL VID EO E D ITO RIAL VID EO MANAG E R

MaryKate Callahan Samantha Langabeer Emily Platt Cathryn Haight Nicole Taliaferro Taylor Whitten Naoimh O’Hare Emily Rumsey Julie Le Blanc Doireann Mangan

S O CIAL M E D IA & TALE NT D IREC TO R , S O CIAL M E D IA S E NI O R MANAG E R , S O CIAL M E D IA S O CIAL M E D IA MANAG E R S O CIAL M E D IA S PECIALI S T S S O CIAL M E D IA CO O RD INATO RS S E NI O R MANAG E R , INFLU E N CE RS INFLU E N CE R S PECIALI S T

Ashley Detmering Tiana Crispino Lauren Kill Rebecca Dalzell Keith Bearden Amanda Miller Ash Tulett Kelsey Theisen

CRE ATIVE S E RVI CE S

Whitney Little Mina Garagozlo Danielle Savoy Lucy Ferut, Alli Kennon Meghan Ho, Kerre Jo Lattanzio Heather Kon Kimberly Brown

S E NI O R D IREC TO R , HE AD O F G LO BAL CRE ATIVE CRE ATIVE D IREC TO R A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , VID EO & PH OTO PRO D U C TI O N VID EO E D ITO R CRE ATIVE PH OTO PRO D U C TI O N MANAG E R

Jeffra Trumpower Rishi Magia Daniela Kelley McInerney Malu Frasson Nori Jessica Kane

G LO BAL MARK ETIN G CHIE F MARK ETIN G OFFICER VI CE PRE S ID E NT, G LO BAL CO N S U M E R & B 2 B MARK ETIN G HE AD O F G LO BAL E D ITO RIAL CO NTE NT S E NI O R D IREC TO R , CO M M U NI CATI O N S D IREC TO R B R AND S TR ATEGY & M E D IA , CO N S U M E R MARK ETIN G D IREC TO R , CO RP O R ATE CO M M U NI CATI O N S A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , PU B LI C RE L ATI O N S A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , INTEG R ATE D B R AND PL ANNIN G & ANALYS I S MANAG E R , INTEG R ATE D B R AND PL ANNIN G & ANALYS I S S PECIALI S T, PU B LI C RE L ATI O N S

Jenny Lewis, jlewis@theknotww.com Kiara Kempski, kkempski@theknotww.com Annie Lennon Carroll, acarroll@theknotww.com Melissa Bach, pr@theknotww.com Pamela Solis, psolis@theknotww.com Anni Jones Jennifer Myers Jesse Geiger Chelsea McArdle Kayla Spector

G LO BAL M E D IA S O LUTI O N S @ THE K N OT WO RLDWID E S E NI O R VI CE PRE S ID E NT, G LO BAL M E D IA S O LUTI O N S S E NI O R D IREC TO R , RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S & YIE LD A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S S E NI O R ANALYS T, RE VE N U E O PE R ATI O N S

Nicole Aste, naste@theknotww.com Dominique Walker, dwalker@theknotww.com Jenna Bruno, jbruno@theknotww.com Cheryl Cincotta, ccincotta@theknotww.com

VI CE PRE S ID E NT, AD SALE S B RIDAL FA S HI O N S E NI O R ACCO U NT D IREC TO R S E NI O R ACCO U NT D IREC TO R ACCO U NT D IREC TO RS , E A S T

Risa Aronson, raronson@theknotww.com Brett Olsen, bolsen@theknotww.com Tina LoRegio, tloregio@theknotww.com Cara Goldberg, cgoldberg@theknotww.com Erin Perley, eperley@theknotww.com Debbie Konstadt, dkonstadt@theknotww.com Giavanna Cifelli, gcifelli@theknotww.com Karen Argow, kargow@theknotww.com Debbie Lucas, dlucas@theknotww.com Laura Adrian, ladrian@theknotww.com

ACCO U NT E XECUTIVE , E AS T ACCO U NT D IREC TO R , PACIFI C ACCO U NT E XECUTIVE , WE S T ACCO U NT D IREC TO R , M IDWE S T S E NI O R D IREC TO R , INTEG R ATE D MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G MANAG E RS , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE MANAG E R , SALE S D E VE LO PM E NT MARK ETIN G A S S O CIATE D IREC TO R , CRE ATIVE S O LUTI O N S S E NI O R MANAG E R , B R AND E D CO NTE NT E D ITO R , B R AND E D CO NTE NT A S S O CIATE ART D IREC TO R AS SO CIATE G R APHI C D E S I G NE R S O CIAL M E D IA E D ITO R A S S O CIATE S O CIAL M E D IA E D ITO R S E NI O R D IREC TO R , ACCO U NT MANAG E M E NT MANAG E RS , ACCO U NT MANAG E M E NT S E NI O R ACCO U NT MANAG E RS ACCO U NT MANAG E RS

ACCO U NT MANAG E R A S S O CIATE ACCO U NT CO O RD INATO R

Priya Junnarkar Jessica Bendes Zoë Ferranti, Carly Kleinman Giovanna Rubino Elizabeth Roehrig Kate Traverson Sarah Fine Amanda Kocis Gallagher Anahí Garza-Runfola Nicole Smith Gabriela Maceira Nicole Vogel, nvogel@theknotww.com Jessica Van Alphen, jvanalphen@theknotww.com Morgan Fahey, mfahey@theknotww.com Elena Semenza, esemenza@theknotww.com Kaitlin Fitzgerald, kfitzgerald@theknotww.com Alaina Gosh, agosh@theknotww.com Daniela Lopez, danlopez@theknotww.com Jaclyn Lash, jlash@theknotww.com Lindsey Aloia, laloia@theknotww.com Melanie Hurley, mhurley@theknotww.com Sarah Lovejoy, slovejoy@theknotww.com Jordan Speranza, jsperanza@theknotww.com Holly Nowell, hnowell@theknotww.com

PU B LI S HE D BY XO G RO U P IN C . 2 Wisconsin Circle, 3rd Floor, Chevy Chase, MD 20815. TheKnot.com

THE KNOT

Naomi Rougeau Lauren Whalley Tres Dean Sofia Deeb Rebecca Dennett

The Knot weddings magazine © 2024 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. The Knot, TheKnot.com and The Knot weddings magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc. The Knot is not responsible for the return or loss of, or damage to, unsolicited materials. Those submitting manuscripts, photographs, artwork and other materials for consideration should not send originals, unless specifically requested to do so in writing by The Knot. Manuscripts, artwork and other materials must be accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope.

LETTER FROM

Wait till you hear their story. (pg 34)

THE EDITOR

I was engaged for exactly 370 days but planned my wedding in less than ﬁve months. I basked in that “just engaged glow” a little longer than I expected because I was so inspired (it comes with the job). In the end, I eschewed a traditional theme or palette and leaned into a warm and loving feeling instead. Despite a guest list of 145 people, I wanted the day to feel like an intimate dinner at home with the people I loved most. Even before it was mainstream, I chose a vibe. And it was magic. Fast forward, and today vibes are all the rage. A vibe plays well with a theme and a palette too (read: you can have it all!). Not sure what you’re going for yet? We’ve packed this issue full of inspiration from dresses and suits (93 from the runway alone, page 68) to 2024 trends (page 80) and all the prewedding events you have to look forward to (page 64). While you’re vision boarding and scheming up decor, don’t lose sight of the reason you’re getting married. Take some time to plan and prepare for your marriage (page 88) so you’ll be sure it will go the distance. It’s all about love, and we have the stories—my favorite part of every issue. Real-life, Hollywood-worthy meet-cutes are out of this world (page 86) and the surprise proposal-turned-wedding (page 34) is living rent free in my head. I think we can all agree, the world needs more love. Let’s make love the vibe of 2024. — LAUREN KAY, EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Here for the black wedding gown! (pg 68)

THE KNOT

Scan for The Knot’s vibe of the year—who

knows, maybe it will inspire your own.

DRESS, SHOES: PROVIDED BY VENDORS; COUPLE: JANEY PAKPAHAN PHOTOGRAPHY; POLAROID: GETTY; PALETTE ILLUSTRATION: SHELBY WARWOOD; ARRANGEMENT ILLUSTRATION: TIANA CRISPINO

What’s Your Vibe?

AK A THE PLACE

The Download WHERE WE

SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE OUR OWN STUFF.

FOUND: YOUR

VENUE

FLORIST

CAKE

PHOTOGRAPHER

S T Y LE S TAR TS HERE

Take our quiz to tame the planning chaos and ﬁnd your wedding style (including the words you’ll need to describe it to all the people bringing your vision to life). We’ll offer up images of venues, cakes, invites and decor so you can really nail your vibe.

IT ’S ALL IN THE DE TAILS

Bringing your wedding vision to life takes people. A lot of people. And you’re in luck—we know the best people for the job. Enter: The Knot Vendor Marketplace. It is the place to get inspired and book the people who will make your day memorable. We have wedding pros from across the country (including in your wedding locale) in every category, from bakers to officiants, DJs and videographers. Not sure who’s the right match for you? Read reviews from thousands of couples who’ve been in your shoes and have direct experience with the vendors you’re considering.

We fully support a second cake *just* to pay homage to your fur babies.

SE AL THE DE AL

The pros don’t bite, we promise. Have a question? Wondering about availability or pricing? We’ll help you get in touch and get answers. Booking your venue or your dream photographer is just a few clicks away—which means you get to check another thing off your wedding to do list (and how good does that feel?)

The Knot Vendor Marketplace is the stuff of legend. It has it all.

THE KNOT

CEREMONY: BRI’ANNE ELIZABETH PHOTOGRAPHY; CAKE: RENE ZADORI PHOTOGRAPHY; MONITOR: GETTY IMAGES

Can you picture walking down this aisle to your person?

YOU WANT THIS MAIL

Scan to sign up for a subscription.

THE KNOT

We’re a super fun—not to mention knowledgeable—plus-one for your entire wedding journey. Our glossy will light up your mailbox with inspiration, planning tips, sage advice, editors’ shopping picks and more. Your wedding RSVPs deserve the company, don’t you think? BONUS: A subscription will save you more than 40 percent off what you’ll pay at the newsstand, so that’s actually money in the bank (#weddingmath).

ILLUSTRATION: TIANA CRISPINO

Getting married? You need a wingman. [Cough] That’s us!

Red-Letter Day Ever noticed how calendars denote holidays in red? Memorable days (aka your wedding) deserve the special treatment. Make sure your loved ones are in the know of your wedding plans with a save-the-date. Most people send these about six months ahead of the day, earlier if your nuptials fall on a holiday weekend or during a busy time of year. PRO TIP: Save-the-dates are the perfect place to showcase your engagement photos because those so deserve their due. The Knot Invitations has tons of designs to choose from: rustic, modern, ﬂoral, vintage…we could go on. We also offer free design support and easy envelope addressing so you can get back to working on your DJ’s “must play” list. Visit TheKnot.com/paper and use code 3Free to get three free samples.

Matching RSVP cards, foil accents, even fridge magnets! Customize your paper to be as unique as you.

THE KNOT

GET A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT If you’ve started planning, but haven’t created a wedding website yet, let this be your sign to do it. And now! We have completely free websites. Even if you aren’t jet-setting to the Caribbean to exchange vows, a website comes in clutch during the wedding day or weekend. It’s the perfect place to include all of your wedding details like locations, transportation and dress codes. Having all the particulars in one place should save you a lot of questions leading up to the wedding day and on the day itself (because you don’t have time for that). BONUS: This is also the only appropriate place to list your wedding registry—and we know you like a good gift.

GET INSPIRED

We have all the ideas and love to share. Slide into our DMs, let us entertain you on TikTok or pin our kick-a** inspo on your wedding board. Looking for a creative escort card display? Not sure what favor won’t be left behind? Check us out.

Tune in to see our fashion editor Lauren Whalley look for her wedding look. She’ll be offering up helpful tips and some been-theredone-that advice. Plus, she’ll answer the most common dress shopping questions— like what is bridal sizing, and how many people should I bring for my “Say Yes to the Dress” moment?

THE KNOT

COUPLE WITH LAPTOP: COURTESY OF TERRI BASKIN PHOTOGRAPHY

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U S

A N Y T H I N G

Dear Lennon… Glossa

MIL = m

other-in

U S A S K A N Y T H I N G

A N Y T H I N G

-law

IN E VERY ISSUE , OUR ADVICE COLUMNIST ANSWERS YOUR JUICIEST WEDDING PL ANNING QUESTIONS .

My MIL is overstepping! Dear Lennon, I really love my future mother-in-law, and we usually get along well. However, she’s insisting that my fiancé wear a tuxedo to our wedding, but I want him to wear something less formal. She’s even offered to take him tux shopping! How do I put my foot down without ruining our relationship? — Mad at Meddling MIL

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

A S K U S A S K

A N Y T H I N G

Honestly, your best bet is to stay out of it. This is an issue between Ali and Jordan, and taking sides will just add fuel to the fire. Kicking Jordan out of the wedding party will effectively end your friendship, so that’s not the move (but if Ali or Jordan decides to step down, you’ll have to respect their decision). Your other two bridesmaids can likely handle planning the bachelorette party even if Ali and Jordan won’t participate, but be empathetic if you don’t get the exact one you want. If things really get out of control, you could consider having a frank but kind discussion with your feuding ’maids and work together to come to a truce (at least until after the wedding).

U S

Traditional etiquette would dictate that the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding, but that’s rarely the case anymore. The “who pays for what” decision varies among couples, families and from culture to culture. It’s important to remember that if parents contribute to the cost of your wedding, they get a say in the decision-making (which may make some couples reconsider asking for funds). While your parents aren’t required to provide financial support, you can certainly ask them, as long as you do so respectfully. When it comes to the actual conversation, preparation is key. Talk to your partner to make sure you’re both comfortable accepting money, set your ideal budget and guest list, and practice your request. It could be something as simple as, “We’ve prepared a wedding budget and would appreciate if you could review it. Will you be able to contribute financially to our wedding?” You can also ask for help paying for a specific vendor or split the cost three ways between them. Whatever you decide, approach the conversation with gratitude and be willing to accept your parents’ decision—whatever it may be.

A S K

Dear Lennon, I have four bridesmaids, all close friends since childhood. One of my bridesmaids, who I’ll call Ali, broke up with her longtime boyfriend about a year ago. Now it turns out another bridesmaid, who I’ll call Jordan, is dating him! Ali is furious, and she and Jordan are no longer speaking. Ali’s even asked me to kick Jordan out of the bridal party! Everyone is taking sides, and I’m worried my ’maids won’t be able to work together to plan the bachelorette or get anything done before the wedding. What should I do? — Stuck in the Middle

A N Y T H I N G

Email advice@theknotww .com or slide into our DMs— we’ve got the answers.

Dear Lennon, My partner and I have been engaged for a few months, but our parents haven’t offered to contribute financially to our wedding yet. We are just starting out in our careers and don’t have a lot of money to spend on a wedding, so we’re really hoping for some assistance. How can we tactfully ask our parents to help pay for our wedding? — Tongue-Tied

U S

Got a question for Lennon?

One of my bridesmaids is dating another ’maid’s ex!

A S K

One thing you haven’t mentioned in your note is how your fiancé feels about all this. What does he want to wear? There are a few factors that should go into choosing attire, like your venue, the time of year and whether it’s a daytime or evening event. Sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your future spouse (and not his mom!) to come up with the dress code for your wedding, including what he’ll feel most comfortable wearing. Then he should be the one to communicate with his mom about the attire to prevent any animosity between you and your future MIL.

I don’t know how to ask my parents for money!

A N Y T H I N G

U S

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

U S

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

A N Y T H I N G

A S K

U S

A N Y T H I N G

WHAT WE’RE LOVING RIGHT NOW

Editors’ Picks Menswear

Las Vegas! viva

1. Patent opera pump, $525, CarminaShoemaker.com 2. Stresa 18k-gold-accented sunglasses, $750, LeisureSociety.com

WHAT WOU LD ELVIS AND PRISCILL A D O? P OU R A DRINK AND EMBR ACE THE NEON - LIT GL AMOU R AND MID - CENTU RY NOSTALGIA OF AMERICA’S U NOFFICIAL ELOPEMENT CAPITAL . IT ’S TIME TO ROLL THE DICE .

BY NAOMI ROUGEAU PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE PROP STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

3. Butterfly silk bow tie, $99, BrooksBrothers.com

4. Louxor crystal tumbler, $530 for 2, Baccarat.com

THE KNOT

V I VA L A S V E G A S ! 6

5. With the look of a ring pillow (though far more secure), this tasseled velvet jewelry box can be slipped into your pocket for safekeeping. $85, SophieBilleBrahe.com 6. There’s no place for dainty gold bands in this town. A weighty, signet-style ring beﬁts the high roller you are. Big Daddy ring, $4,675, FoundRae.com 7. Who needs cake? Slip into something more comfortable and ring room service for caviar. Silk pajamas, $675, ShopMortimer.com

8. Wedding bling doesn’t end with the rings. The ultimate cuffing

THE KNOT

ELVIS & PRISCILLA, POLAROID FRAMES: GETTY IMAGES; BLUE TUX: PROVIDED BY VENDOR; LITTLE WHITE CHAPEL: ALAMY IMAGES

ceremony calls for a shiny new pair of sterling and onyx cuff links. $268, BrooksBrothers.com 9. Because you are. Tom Ford’s iconic fragrance speaks for itself. Fucking Fabulous, $395, TomFord.com 10. Form meets function in this horn mustache brush that will ensure no hair is out of place come photo time. $72, TrueﬁttandHill.com 11. With outsized lapels and bold contrast trim, your something blue could be a suit worthy of the King himself. Norman velvet tuxedo, $2,090, TannerFletcherStudios.com

THE KNOT

SHOP

Essentials

Glam Squad BEHIND E VERY GORGEOUS BRIDE , WE KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF BOBBY PINS , PIECES OF D OU BLE-SIDED TAPE AND OTHER LESS -THAN - GL AMOROUS ITEMS HOLDING E VERY THING TOGE THER . CONSIDER THIS OU R SLIGHTLY

ELE VATED TAKE ON WEDDING DAY MUST- HAVES .

BY THE KNOT EDITORS PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE PROP STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

3 4

7 6

7. Ensure your ring (and other jewelry) is photo-ready with this easy-to-use polishing pen. Diamond Dazzle Stik, $11, ContainerStore.com

1. Forget the standard flesh-tone pasties and up the ante with iridescent rhinestones. Winterfell nipple covers, $17, NevaNude.com 2. Handmade in Miami, Maria Elena’s intricate bridal accessories are destined to become treasured heirlooms. Malta purse, $1,646, MariaElenaHeadpieces.com

THE KNOT

3. A chic Parisian find from executive editor Lauren Kay, this refillable leather lipstick case can be embossed and boasts a built-in mirror. Lipstick case, $85, LaBoucheRougeParis.com 4. Accidents happen. Be prepared and keep your big day as stress-free as possible. Shout wipes, $5, Target.com 5. Your wedding scent will forever be linked to memory. Choose something

unique, such as Antwerp, Belgium, concept store Graanmarkt 13’s cult favorite. Perfume, $145, Graanmarkt13.com

8. Avoid dashing off for touch-ups and hair checks by packing a gold compact mirror worthy of the occasion. Purse mirror, price upon request, Verdura.com

6. These petite mints have been a staple in Japan since 1894, and their pearl-like appearance feels made for weddings. Kaol mints, $11, SmallFlower.com

9. Here’s something blue to help you dance the whole night through… no matter how high your heels. Foot cushions, $8, FootPetals.com

110 WOOSTER STREET, SOHO WWW.FANAJEWELRY.COM

Cozy Competition SHOP

Games

BY JAMIE CUCCINELLI

Winter date nights can be playfully heated—especially with friendly competition involved. Kick up the nostalgia with a game night for two, starring these conversation starters.

1. In this game, one team guides the other to a hidden target using only spectrum-based clues (think: hot-cold, baldhairy). The ultimate goal? To get you and your love on the same wavelength! Wavelength board game, $32, Walmart.com

Want even more ways to connect? Start with our conversation starters.

The Games Continue THE SE TURN-DOWN SERVICE S AND AMENITIES WILL H E L P YO U U N P LU G F RO M THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND C O N N ECT W I T H E AC H O T H E R. BY ESTHER LEE

THE KNOT

Castle Hot Springs, Arizona This all-inclusive resort, known for its connection to nature, acknowledges a vital pillar of well-being: sleep. Couples can select from a menu of evening turn-down options, ranging from jigsaw puzzles, playing cards, journaling exercises, or a booklet on the history of the region’s ﬂora and fauna. From $1,650; CastleHotSprings.com

2. Connect with your partner through the art of storytelling. Playful yet intimate, this game is ideal for couples who want to refresh their usual date-night talk. The prompts are suitable for connecting with other loved ones too. Where Should We Begin: A Game of Stories, $40, UncommonGoods.com 3. A game that gets you comfortable talking about sex? Right this way. This ﬂirty set of cards helps foster healthy discussion and heightens sexual exploration with fresh ideas for intimacy…and sexy dares. Intimacy After Dark deck, $35, BestSelf.co

Twin Farms, Vermont Stave makes custom wood puzzles by hand for this ﬁve-star resort in the Green Mountains. It’s one of many thoughtful touches at Twin Farms, a favorite among couples attracted to the attentive service and natural beauty found across the property’s 300 acres of land. From $2,200; TwinFarms.com

NANCY DREW, INTIMACY AFTER DARK: PROVIDED BY VENDORS; ALL OTHER PHOTOGRAPHS: JOSEPHINE SCHIELE

W H E N T E M P S D R O P, T U R N U P T H E H E AT W I T H L I G H T H E A R T E D ONE-ON-ONE GAMES.

4. For an aesthetic that’s the opposite of that Tetris-like board game shelf in your in-laws’ basement, look to this swanky set of classic games. Disguised as vintage novels, each comes with traditional wood game pieces and elevated accessories. Vintage-inspired bookshelf board games, $120 for 3, Food52.com

5. Meet your next true-crime ﬁxation. Together, invoke your inner Nancy Drew as you examine evidence, sort through alibis and solve this immersive murder mystery. Mystery at Magnolia Gardens game, $32, HuntaKiller.com

The Milestone Hotel & Residences, London This Victorian property is conveniently located beside Kensington Palace and Hyde Park. Its staffers certainly acknowledge their audience. Thoughtful turn-down services include evening amenities like Sherlock Holmes stories and plays by William Shakespeare. From $490; MilestoneHotel.com

Rosewood Villa Magna, Madrid In the heart of the city’s swanky Salamanca neighborhood, this luxury property delights with its dedicated concierge. Couples might come back from a tapas dinner at Las Brasas de la Castellana to ﬁnd a bespoke printed itinerary of highlights at the Prado Museum or guides of the city. From $790; RosewoodHotels.com

Chobe Game Lodge, Botswana This five-star lodge encourages couples to retreat to their rooms, unplug and indulge in the stillness of Chobe National Park at night. After a day of engaging the five senses in the bush, retire to your suite with pocketsized field guides to learn more about the fascinating creatures you’ve now seen IRL. From $990; ChobeGameLodge.com

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SHOP

B AT H I N G B E A U T Y

Just Add Water

THE KE Y TO BANISHING WEDDING DAY NERVES ? AN INDU LGENT DIP WOR TH Y OF CLEOPATR A HERSELF.

BY NAOMI ROUGEAU

1. Every queen (even if just for a day) knows the power of well-chosen jewelry. Who says you have to remove it come bath time? Girandole earrings, $1,800, LarkspurandHawk.com

2. Any hairstylist will tell you that a boar-bristle brush does wonders for shine. Make yours 14K gold (plated). Balmain Paris hairbrush, $330, BalmainHair.us 3. This timeless scent, with a recipe dating to the 1600s, is housed in a terra-

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cotta amphora. Discovering it feels like unearthing ancient treasure. Potpourri, from $52, Us.Smnovella.com

5. This gold and marble mirror calls to mind the kohl-rimmed eyes that were de rigueur in ancient Egypt. Lito vanity mirror, $850, L-Objet.com

4. These satin and marabou shoes will elevate your getting-ready ensemble before you say “I do.” Slippers, $495, AgentProvocateur.com

6. The fountain of youth? Not quite, but Estée Lauder’s OG fragrance offers plenty of nostalgia. Youth Dew spray, $44, EsteeLauder.com

CLEOPATRA: GETTY IMAGES; MIRROR, SLIPPERS: PROVIDED BY VENDOR; ALL OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE

7. Cleopatra reportedly added donkey’s milk to her baths. Dior makes something a bit more accessible. J’Adore body milk, $65, Dior.com 8. Essential to your wedding-prep arsenal (and useful beyond the big day), this gorgeous robe doubles as your something blue. Silk robe, $248, Eberjey .com

9. Crushed semi-precious stones were used to create Cleopatra’s signature eyeshadow. Gucci’s similarly hued nail color is a worthy alternative. Nail polish in Dorothy Turquoise, $35, Gucci.com

Egyptian Revival vibes of this throne-like vanity stool. Connelly bench, $459, BallardDesigns.com

11. A golden hair clip with double Cs is the perfect homage to our muse and will keep your mane high and dry. Triomphe hair clip, $530, Celine.com 12. Ensure your crowning glory stays in place with this editor-approved ﬁnishing touch. Hair spray, $45, PhilipB.com 13. Leave a lasting impression (that will look great on your vanity too). Lipstick in Janie Scarlet, $47, Gucci.com

10. When no simple chair will do, embrace the

CLIP, BENCH: PROVIDED BY VENDOR; ALL OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE

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SHOP

Motivation 2

Good Vibes

SE T YOU RSELF, AND YOU R Y E AR OF ENGAGEMENT, U P FOR SU CCESS .

BY THE KNOT EDITORS

The wedding checklist may seem extensive and overwhelming at times, so we want to help lower those cortisol levels. Researchers have found that people who are more inspired in their daily lives tend to set uplifting goals; they also have a higher chance of seeing their wishes come true. Fill your life with our daily inspiration, and let planning come effortlessly.

is a ﬁxture in my WFH closet.” —Esther Lee, Deputy Editor Wellness Ivy crewneck, $150, SportyandRich.com

(Fact: (Fact: Movement improves the body and mind connection.)

4. “Paired with mindful breathing exercises, I’ve found that a weighted blanket helps me enjoy deep sleep, so I wake refreshed and inspired to take on each day.” —Nowack Weighted blanket, $179, BalooLiving.com

1. “I love cooking, but I don’t have three hours a night to whip up bœuf bourguignon à la Julia Child. Chef Gaby Dalkin’s recipes are inspiring, tasty, attainable…and perfect for date nights.” —Hannah Nowack, Sr. Editor, Weddings What’s Gaby Cooking: Everyday Food $32, California Food, BarnesandNoble.com 2. “Every page of this artful book of poetry delivers understanding and inspiration.”—Lauren Kay, Executive Editor Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom for a Better Life, $16, BarnesandNoble.com

3. “Wellness is a lifestyle, which is why this piece

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5. “A small number of folks have hyperosmia, or the heightened ability to identify unique scents. As a member of this club, I live by these candles concocted by top perfumers.” —Lee Scented candle, $45, Phlur.com 6. “This charging station doubles as a catchall for my jewelry, stylus and more, avoiding clutter.” —Lee Catch: 3 Classics, $175, StayCourant.com

7. “This year, I’m reprioritizing movement with the help of these ankle weights and Megan Roup’s app.” —Lee Ankle weights, $35, The Sculpt Society ﬁtness app, $20/month, TheSculptSociety.com 8. “There’s something so satisfying about getting through a to-do list. Florentine stationer Pineider, which has been around since 1774, knows a thing or two about paper. The weekly format is my favorite and the fun colors make it even more covetable.” —Naomi Rougeau, Sr. Fashion & Beauty Editor Pineider 2024 Weekly Diary Pop, $102, Pineider.com

ANKLE WEIGHTS: PROVIDED BY VENDOR; ALL OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE, PROP STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

All in the Details Let your diamonds sparkle in the timeless beauty of platinum. Shop now at EverandEver.com.

To locate a jeweler in your area, visit EverandEver.com. @everandeverbridal | #EverAndEverBride Ring featured: 126639

DESTINATION:

L A KE G EN EVA Celebrate your wedding day along its picturesque shores. Dreaming of a waterfront wedding? Nestled along the shores of Geneva Lake, in southeastern Wisconsin, this beautiful community is the picture-perfect setting for a wedding weekend full of memories that will last a lifetime. Exchange vows at a historic estate, a lush vineyard or even aboard a turn-of-the-century steam yacht—all just over an hour away from Chicago, for easy guest travel. Learn more about the local venues and wedding vendors that can bring your dream day to life at VisitLakeGeneva.com/Weddings.

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it's always been the place

Say “I do” by scanning the code to start planning the wedding of your dreams. V i s i t L a k e G e n e va . c o m / W e d d i n g s

Love at First Sight Persis (left) knew that The Hummingbird Temple was the perfect venue from the moment she laid eyes on the Moroccan palace-like oasis in the Hollywood Hills. The bride didn’t even look at any other venues.

Will You Marry Me... Today? 34

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A ONE- HOUR ENGAGEMENT ? THAT WAS THE CASE AT THIS COUPLE’S SURPRISE PROP OSAL-TURNED -WEDDING IN CALIFORNIA .

P E R S I S & C R Y S TA L STO RY BY H A N N A H N OWAC K P H OTO G R A P H S BY J A N E Y PA K PA H A N PHOTOGRAPHY

There’s a reason grand whirlwind relationships anchor so many blockbuster hits—they’re just so romantic. Persis Khambatta (34, a real estate agent) and Crystal Ramos’ (34, a clinical specialist) entire relationship has been like a real-life fairy tale. So it’s no surprise that the day these two wed (April 15, 2023) was just as epic. Before planning a secret wedding and a proposal-turned-vow exchange, you’d better be very sure your partner will be okay with it. Persis was so certain about her connection with Crystal that she actually started planning the proposal after a mere four months of dating. Though she didn’t pop the question until seven years into their relationship, this over-the-top day was years in the making. Let’s start at the beginning. Persis, who was living in Vancouver, Canada, at the time, matched with Crystal on a dating app while on a November trip to Los Angeles, Crystal’s home city. From there, things went from standard dating app encounter to rom-com-worthy in the blink of an eye. The couple immediately bonded over a shared love of travel. Within two weeks of messaging, on a whim, Crystal invited Persis to join her and some friends on a trip to Aspen, Colorado, in January. But why wait two whole months to meet the woman you can’t seem to stop thinking about? For New Year’s Eve, Crystal extended a playful invitation to Persis to come back to Los Angeles. “Without missing a beat, Persis

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Color, Color, Everywhere The couple’s planner explains that Persis and Crystal’s relationship inspired the “bright, exciting, bold and colorful” signage. The vibrant flower arrangements included alliums, ranunculus, roses and sweet peas.

booked her flight, and two days later, we went on our first date,” Crystal says. “And so began our love story.” As with any good happily-ever-after tale, the heroines need to have something to overcome, like a spicy “will they, won’t they” moment. The lead-up to Persis and Crystal’s first date was just that. Not only were they preparing to meet, but it would be a full weekend getaway. Persis was even going to stay at Crystal’s place. The couple recalls that “the stakes were high. This was the first time we were going to see each other in person, without even a single FaceTime call to precede the international date. A risky move, admittedly, considering we could’ve been catfished. Luckily for us, that wasn’t the case.” A first kiss at midnight on New Year’s sealed the deal. The weekend was a success, and “in the span of 48 hours, our friendly pen-pal meetup turned into marriage talks,” says Crystal. “We even decided that weekend, if a proposal was in our future, Persis would be the one to kneel.” Though Crystal knew Persis would be the one to ask the question, she couldn’t have imagined just how grand that proposal would be. The groundwork for the actual moment was “a grand adventure that 36

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spanned years and continents.” Persis drew inspiration from a song she loves: “Girl in L.A.,” by a pop-folk act called Us the Duo. The song narrates a long-distance love story, much like Persis and Crystal’s. The lyrics mention various locations around the globe: “I’ll yell it out from Nashville, a little closer to your ear...I’ll scale the China Wall to have you closer here to me...I’m in love with a girl in L.A.” As part of her plan, Persis planned trips with Crystal to all the spots mentioned in the song. At each location, she captured footage to be compiled into a proposal video. “Persis and I are a couple of travel bugs, so when she suggested hitting these spots, I was all in but had no idea why [we were going],” recalls Crystal. “Sure, China in the middle of winter seemed a bit out of left field, but hey, who am I to turn down an adventure? Little did I know, each destination was part of her grand plan. The big reveal happened at The Hummingbird Temple in Los Angeles. As soon as I saw Us the Duo set up with their instruments, I knew some-

A Sweet Slice Wafer-paper flowers and gold leaf decorated the three-tier white chocolate and raspberry cake.

“My favorite moment of the wedding was when I realized it was my own wedding, not a friend’s,” says Crystal. THE KNOT

Wedding Date April 15, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site The Hummingbird Temple, Los Angeles

Photography Janey Pakpahan Photography

Videography West Imagery

Event Planning + Design Brooke Nicole Events

Floral Design Noonan’s Wine Country Designs

Officiant Julia Duong (friend)

Gowns Crystal: Milla Nova; Persis: Kitty Chen

Shoes + Accessories Cult Gaia

Wedding Rings Brilliant Earth

Hair + Makeup Nine Zero One

Stationery Lovelyfest

Rentals Alpha Lit Marquee Letters; Bella Vista Designs; Bright Event Rentals; Catalog Atelier; Folklore

Catering Très LA Catering

Cake Teehan Cake Design

Dessert Heavenly Gourment Churros

Drinks Flair Project; Loose Leaf Boba Company

Music Mother Tierra; Us the Duo

Entertainment Caricature artist: Grant Pominville; IV station: RocDrip IV Therapy; photo booth: Feature Booth

Guest Book After the Tone

Transportation Riz Transportation

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thing was up.” The musicians began to sing “Girl in L.A.” while Persis’ proposal video lit up on a big screen. After the song, a few friends Persis had recruited led Crystal to the backyard. There, Persis was standing in front of towering letters spelling out “Marry Me Today.” Talk about a moment for the memory books. With the amount of effort that went into crafting the proposal video, there was no question that the actual surprise wedding would be extraordinary. But, you might be thinking, “How can one plan a wedding without their partner finding out?” Persis recalls having a clear vision for what she wanted and that she genuinely “believed I could handle it all by myself. Reality hit me early on, as I quickly realized that I knew next to nothing about weddings. That’s when our incredible wedding planner entered the picture. I hired her even before meeting her in person. From the start, I entrusted her with full control.” One obvious hurdle to the planning: Crystal’s attire. How would Persis select a dress that would both fit Crystal and be to her liking? “We frequently exchange clothes, so I was confident that any wedding dress I loved, she would as well,” explains Persis. She selected two options for Crystal to choose from and planned to wear whichever option her fiancée didn’t select. The surprise also meant that Crystal didn’t have any marriage vows prepared ahead of time. One of the most unforgettable moments came when Crystal, standing before more than 100 wedding guests who’d been in on the surprise, admitted that she hadn’t written any vows—right as she was handed ones to read. “Her one and only vow, written by me, was that she would watch the entire Friends series before turning 40. That is all I truly wanted from her. Other than that, she was perfect,” recalls Persis. To bring things full circle, Persis also asked Us the Duo to perform the firstdance song. They wrote a new tune just for the couple called “Flying the Distance.” The newlyweds say, “It was the perfect choice for our first dance, encapsulating the journey we’ve taken together and the love that has brought us so far.”

Let’s Eat! Guests enjoyed a sushi spread early on while Persis and Crystal changed into their dresses. Later, the menu included fries, miso cod, vegan lasagna and risotto. “To end the night on a sweet note, we couldn’t resist having a churro station, as it is a treat we both adore.”

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Let’s Celebrate—Right Here, Right Now A DESIRE TO EMBR ACE THE MOMENT INSPIRED THIS COUPLE’S TR AVEL-THEMED WEDDING IN VIRGINIA .

L I TA & D Y L A N STO RY BY H A N N A H N OWAC K PHOTOGRAPHS BY KIR TUBEN PHOTOGRAPHY

To live in the moment: It’s an elusive concept that people discuss and desire endlessly, but find profoundly difficult to achieve. But for Lita Talisman (22, a content creator and travel advisor) and Dylan Regan (28, a senior technology product manager), it’s the embodiment of living life to the fullest. The couple, who tied the knot on September 17, 2022, recently took their life on the road. They moved into a van to “take control of our lives and seek adventure,” shares Lita. While many people enjoy traveling now and again, Lita and Dylan had a meaningful reason for embracing adventure so wholeheartedly. “In 2018, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which was incredibly frightening,” shares Lita. “Those first few months were really hard for me, and I felt discouraged. After wallowing in self-pity, I picked myself up and decided that I was going to change my attitude.” Ultimately, she decided to turn her diagnosis into a positive. “MS has affected my whole outlook on life. I realized that I can’t take any day or my body for granted,” Lita continues. “I wanted my wedding to be a day that I could look back on as one of the happiest of my life. Also, stress can be a huge catalyst for MS symptoms, so I tried to make the wedding planning process easy on myself. Focusing on the big picture really helped.”

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Don’t Stop the Beat Dylan’s sister, who’s a Broadway singer, sang at the ceremony before the couple recessed to “This Will Be (an Everlasting Love),” by Natalie Cole. Later, a string quartet played pop music during cocktail hour, and at the reception, a live band kept the vibe high all night.

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The big picture was a travel theme that nods to her home with Dylan. In 2021, the couple converted a van into a tiny home. They set off to travel the country with the goal to see all the states and national parks in the continental US. “We were able to achieve that goal and have been living in our van ever since,” explains Lita. “We wanted to share our love of adventure and travel with our loved ones. So, the theme of our wedding was ‘festive formal adventure.’” As an ode to the many national parks Lita and Dylan have visited, they used a font inspired by the cursive lettering ubiquitous there for the wedding signage. The couple also created escort cards in the quadrilateral shape of national park signs and gave the invitations the form of a nature field guide. The latter included a map of where they’ve traveled, including Grand Teton, Joshua Tree, Acadia and Arches National

Parks. They even brought their van to the wedding, so guests could see the “adventure rig” that carried them so far, including to their biggest adventure yet: marriage. Lita and Dylan say the van was the most important part of the decor. They have built out its living quarters entirely by themselves and wanted to display their hard work at the celebration. Lita and Dylan creatively chose to turn the vehicle into the photo booth for the evening, so everyone could get a taste of the van life. Although travel to far-flung places inspired the theme, the couple kept the venue close to home. The native Marylanders settled on Goodstone Inn in Middleburg, Virginia, to host their wedding weekend. To celebrate their Maryland roots, the couple paid homage to the state through their welcome bags. Cookies from Baltimore, crab-spiced Utz chips and Maryland stickers made clear where the couple’s loyalty lies

in the playful Maryland-Virginia rivalry. Crab cakes on the menu were yet another homage to their home state. “We had always sworn that, as Marylanders, we wouldn’t get married in Virginia,” jokes Lita. “But when we saw Goodstone Inn, we fell in love and knew we had to get married there. It was perfect for a weekend full of celebration—especially given our love of the outdoors. We couldn’t have asked for a better setting.” In addition to celebrating so many varied locales, the couple also looked to their shared Jewish heritage when deciding what was most important to them at the wedding. “Our family and friends are mixed-faith, but we knew we wanted the major Jewish elements and had our rabbi describe them to the group as the ceremony progressed,” explains Lita. “Our rabbi was actually my bat mitzvah tutor back in the day, and she brought my signed bat mitzvah speech out

Pizza Date Night Since the couple lives in their van, they haven’t been able to use many of their registry gifts yet. However, one they’re especially excited to unpack is the pizza oven. “The guest who got it for us mentioned how he and his partner have had a pizza night every Friday since they got married, and it’s been an anchor of their marriage.”

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Finger-Lickin’ Good The reception menu included braised short ribs, sea bass, mushroom risotto and charcuterie. “We also had late-night food, including an ice cream truck and chicken sandwiches,” recalls Lita.

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“I tend to stress out over events but surprised myself and simply coasted through the wedding,

during the ceremony. Everyone thought it was so cute.” Additionally, Dylan’s sister Ali sang a blessing in Hebrew for the ring ceremony. And the couple tapped seven family members to read the seven blessings, an important part of a Jewish wedding. While the day came together beautifully, Lita shares that balance was critical to bringing it together, especially in light of her MS. “As most people with chronic illnesses know, stress can be really hard on your body and can exacerbate symptoms. If you are ever feeling overwhelmed or stressed, try to lean on your partner. They are there to

support you and plan with you. I also recommend setting time specifically for wedding planning and to push it out of your mind as much as possible during other times. That way you can focus on other things.” Lita encourages couples to take a step back and think about the big picture. “It can get so stressful at times, but what really matters is that you and your partner have a great time. All of your loved ones are there for you.”

enjoying it all, thanks to our planners,” recalls Lita.

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Party Hour “One special moment was when my twin brother, Max, sang ‘Shut up and Dance.’ Everyone was on the dance floor, and we joined him up on stage. I’ll always remember how much fun we had singing and dancing to that together,” says Lita.

Wedding Date September 17, 2022

Ceremony + Reception Site Goodstone Inn, Middleburg, VA

Photography Kir Tuben Photography

Videography Paperboys

Event Planning Rex & Regina Events

Floral Design House of Jeanne Flowers

Officiant Rabbi Betsy Roth

Gown Eisen Stein, Love Couture Bridal, Potomac, MD

Veil Love Couture Bridal

Suit Suitsupply

Shoes Lita: Loeffler Randall; Dylan: The Black Tux

Engagement Ring Blue Nile

Wedding Rings Mejuri

Hair + Makeup Lori Nansi

Wedding Party Attire The Black Tux

Stationery Ruby the Fox

Rentals Frost DC; Pretty Little Wedding Co; Sugarplum Tent Company

Catering Goodstone Inn

Dessert Scoops2

Music Ali Regan; DJ String Machine; Lucy Black Entertainment

Dance Lessons Dance Intensified & Entertainment

Transportation MJ Valet

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THIS SP ORT Y COUPLE’S DESTINATION WEDDING WAS PROOF THAT LUXURY AND CALIFORNIA MAKE A WINNING TE AM .

MAHSA & HANK STO RY BY H A N N A H N OWAC K PHOTOGRAPHS BY RENE ZADORI PHOTOGRAPHY

If this couple had a memoir, the title would be Catching Flights and Catching Feelings. The whirlwind romance of Mahsa Zare (29, a luxury realtor) and Johnathan (Hank) Hankins (31, a professional football player for the Dallas Cowboys) has taken them around the globe, so a destination wedding was a fitting way to celebrate their love. While they tied the knot on May 21, 2023, in Sonoma, California, their love story began in Dallas years earlier during a night on the town, when they bumped into each other while dancing at a club. Mahsa recalls how she and Hank “immediately felt connected, as if we had known one another for years.” The couple’s relationship immediately took flight. Hank was heading to Las Vegas and invited Mahsa along. “The idea of flying to another city to see a man I barely knew was very out of character for me, but I felt safe with Hank,” she says. Two weeks later, by chance, they met in Michigan. While Mahsa was visiting the state, Hank (known affectionately as “Big Time Hank” in the NFL) gave her a call. By chance, he was also in Michigan visiting family—just minutes away. “The fact that we were both in Michigan at the same time visiting family was too much of a coincidence. It felt like fate, and I think we both knew that night that we would be together forever,” recalls Mahsa. “Every-

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Paired Promises Despite writing them separately, the couple notes that their vows were strikingly similar. “We both talked about how our relationship is built on mutual trust and admiration, and how important it was to be equal partners and parents.”

Going for Glam

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Bounty of Blooms The day’s lush floral arrangements included hydrangeas, peonies, roses and stock. “Floral clusters lined each side of the aisle, so it felt like walking through a garden of flowers surrounded by mountains,” recalls Mahsa.

“Seeing Hank become a father definitely confirmed that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He is an amazing father and the best example of a husband and partner to our little girl,” says Mahsa. thing seemed to fall into place so easily, so seamlessly.” With Dallas, Las Vegas and Michigan playing key roles in getting to this point, a destination wedding in Sonoma was the perfect culmination to the couple’s globe-trotting journey (They currently call 48

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both Dallas and Vegas home). Mahsa and Hank originally wanted to get married in Italy, but were concerned about asking their loved ones to travel so far. “Instead, we decided to look in Northern California,” says Mahsa. “We had lived together in Oakland earlier in our relationship and

loved the idea of going back to where it all started.” And while the couple’s wedding didn’t involve plane tickets to Italy, they still looked to Europe for inspiration for the event’s glam aesthetic. “I wanted everything to feel very romantic, with heavy florals. We wanted the ceremony to feel romantic and intimate, but we wanted fullon glam for the reception.” To bring this vision to life, the couple hired Andrea Eppolito, a planner whom Mahsa had wanted to work with even before they were officially engaged. Mahsa and Hank welcomed their daughter, Miliana, a few years before the wedding, and Eppolito had created a memorable baby shower. “Andrea made wedding planning stress-free and fun,” says Mahsa. The couple loved and trusted the planner so much that they asked her to officiate the wedding. “She said yes, and Hank entered the ceremony with her,” says Mahsa. One of the couple’s favorite parts about working with Eppolito was how she “really paid attention to the things that mattered the most to us and found ways to incorpo-

Ring for Champagne During cocktail hour, an interactive drink station surprised guests. “The top said, ‘Marriage has a nice ring to it…’ and locations we love were listed under each bell. When guests rang a bell, a whitegloved hand passed them a glass of champagne,” says Mahsa.

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Wedding Date May 21, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site Viansa Winery, Sonoma, CA

Photography Rene Zadori Photography

Wedding Planning + Design Andrea Eppolito

Floral Design Javier Valentino

Officiant Andrea Eppolito

Gowns Eva Lendel; Kim Kassas, both Kinsley James, Los Angeles

Tuxedo David Abraham Custom Clothiers, Birmingham, MI

Shoes Mahsa: Amina Muaddi; Hank: Christian Louboutin

Accessories Mahsa: Amina Muaddi

Engagement + Wedding Rings John Paradiso

Hair + Makeup Elwynn + Cass

Wedding Party Attire House of CB

Stationery She Paperie

Rentals Blueprint Studios; Jacob Co Creative; Theoni

Catering The Girl & The Fig

Cake Flour & Bloom Cakes

DJ DJ Drew Pierce

Other Entertainment Dancer: Kareema; portrait station: SEEN by Nicole Hernandez

Welcome Bag Box Fox

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rate them into the wedding,” says Mahsa. She recalls how Eppolito found a DJ who understood the couple’s love of San Francisco-style dance music and a dancer who honored Mahsa’s Middle Eastern heritage with two numbers during the reception (a belly dance and a sword dance). “Andrea even found ways to have our four dogs represented on the groom’s cake and on our cocktail napkins,” notes Mahsa of her planner’s attention to detail. The couple also celebrated Mahsa’s Persian heritage with a traditional knife ceremony before their cake cutting. “The bridesmaids held the knife and danced around Hank,” she says. “He needed to tip them and offer gifts in order to show his love for me and that he could provide for me. Once he had proven himself, they finally gave him the knife and we were able to cut the cake.” The ritual came on the heels of dinner, where the most popular menu item was a Persian-inspired carrot salad on a spiced yogurt, served with a choice of salmon, steak or pasta. The wedding cake was a buttercream-encased masterpiece, which included layers of vanilla as well as cookies and cream. But since the couple loves sweets, they didn’t stop there. The groom’s cake, which celebrated the couple’s four dogs in fondant-model form, was made of stacked cookies. Additionally, there was a dessert buffet with chocolate sea-salt tartlets, vanilla custard pies with chocolate chips and even a gelato station. Despite the pomp and circumstance of the reception, Mahsa shares that her favorite moment from the wedding was earlier in the day. She cherished walking down the aisle and seeing Hank for the first time. “The moment I saw my soulmate waiting at the end of the most beautiful aisle, so many emotions and memories rushed through me,” she says. “It was a surreal feeling to be marrying the man of my dreams in a place that was so dear to us. I was truly grateful for every single moment in our lives that led us to this exact place.”

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B O U ND TO THE C ARIBBE AN OPEN THE NEXT THE CHAPTER OF YOUR LOVE STORY WITH AN EPIC JOURNEY. FALL IN LOVE WITH OUR MAGICAL PARADISE OF SUN-KISSED DAYS AND SERENE SEASCAPES WITH SPECTACULAR SUNSETS. CELEBRATE YOUR UNION IN THE CARIBBEAN AND EXPERIENCE THE EXCITEMENT THAT COMES WITH SAYING “ISLE DO.”

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THE SEASON’S INGREDIENT

Spring Stems Florals for spring? Groundbreaking! But is it even a wedding without flowers? We say no. The season delivers some of the best blooms from fragrant lilac to hellebore and quince. Color and contrast are the keys to arrangement harmony, says Michelle Pelletier of Love Me Not Floral in Brooklyn, New York. “I like to select three main colors and then have fun adding one pop of color, like this orange poppy. It’s the cherry on top of the sundae.” When considering your wedding arrangements, Pelletier cautions against getting attached to Pinterest images. “Rather than trying to re-create something that’s been done before, find a florist you can trust and give them hints on how you want your day to feel.”

PHOTO CREDIT

ARRANGEMENT BY LOVE ME NOT FLORAL PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE PROP STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

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Poppies are a springtime staple. They come in a bright and happy palette of colors and have wiggly stems that add a bit of whimsy to bouquets.

PHOTO CREDIT

Anthuriums are a statementmaking stem that’s available year-round. Cluster a few in an arrangement for a modern, more structural feel.

Phalaenopsis orchids, also called moth orchids, are a more expensive flower, but all you need is one or two—they deliver the drama. They’re available year-round and cascade beautifully if you’re looking to really be extra.

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THE EVOLUTION OF WEDDINGS

Gatherings A

Generations

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cross

DO BOOMER, MILLENNIAL AND GEN Z COUPLES SEE EYE-TO-EYE ON WEDDINGS?

ARCHIVAL IMAGES, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: SARAH HANLON, TIANA CRISPINO, NATHALIE KIRSHEH, TIANA CRISPINO; ALL OTHERS: GETTY IMAGES

BY H A N N A H N OWAC K COLLAGES BY TIANA CRISPINO

A boomer, a millennial and a Gen Z friend walk into a bar… it sounds like the setup for a bad dad joke. (Though I, the millennial in this situation, happen to love dad jokes.) Except, in this case, it isn’t a joke. I sat down with two of my colleagues (one’s a baby boomer and one is Gen Z) to look at the dramatic evolution of weddings across generations. You know that part in New Girl where Schmidt complains about “youths”? That’s me when I try to understand Gen Z. Their trends aren’t exactly my trends, but that doesn’t make them worse. It simply means I need a little help understanding them. Enter: Chapelle Johnson, associate editor at The Knot and a tastemaker with a pulse on the latest TikTok wedding trends. I honestly have too much in common with boomers. I’m a fan of cottage cheese, can’t always work technology, am constantly turning down the music volume and, well, I incessantly complain about the “youths.” But as much flack as boomers get, many of their trends are timeless and have contributed significantly to modern weddings. To understand the breadth of their impact, I spoke with Diane Hall, senior content strategist at The Knot and a wedding expert with a wealth of wisdom. When it comes to weddings, do boomer, millennial and Gen Z editors like the same things? We’re about to find out.

BABY BOOMER Baby boomers were born between 1946 and 1964, with many boomer weddings taking place in the ’70s and ’80s. “Older boomers of the hippie generation in the 1970s might have held a casual wedding in the backyard. Picture a groom in a wide-lapel suit and bride in a maxi dress carrying a bouquet of hand-picked ﬂowers,” says Hall. “Otherwise, boomers would have followed the traditional wedding format, with the mother of the bride playing a big role in planning the event. A church wedding followed by a reception at a hall was the norm. By the time the ’80s rolled around and I got married, things were inﬂuenced by the women’s movement, the rise of the supermodel, designer fashion and the popularity of MTV. All these factors led to a break from tradition. Couples sought to express themselves, particularly through fashion, entertainment and decorations.”

Tunes

The Vibe

“At the ceremony, you might have heard traditional church music or a singer and guitarist perform a folk song, especially given the genre’s popularity at the time,” notes Hall. “But when the party started, there would be a mash-up of Club MTV, Studio 54 and funk tracks along with burgeoning New Wave music.”

“Typically the wedding theme was the color scheme. It drove the selection of bridesmaid fashion, groomsmen accessories, ﬂowers and decorations—especially ribbons, which were used on everything,” shares Hall. “Balloons were popular. A single helium balloon tied to each chair or an arch behind the head table was considered a playful touch. One of my personal favorite trends was a cavalcade of cars (with horns honking) from the church to the reception, led by the newlyweds in their decorated vehicle. Passersby waved, hollered or honked.”

“Celebration,” by Kool & The Gang

“Love Shack,” by The B-52’s

“We Are Family,” by Sister Sledge

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MILLENNIALS Millennials, those born between 1981 and 1996, entered peak marrying age when Pinterest was the hottest wedding inspiration source available. Its emergence as a treasure trove of ideas upped the ante when it came to decor. New trends have appeared and led couples to place greater emphasis on personalization, instead of adhering to expectations. Even though I’m not yet married, I’ve spent my fair share of time perusing Pinterest and ogling beautiful wedding ideas. And, according to our internal data, I’m not alone. Sixty percent of millennials (and an impressive 78 percent of Gen Z folks) have taken actions related to wedding planning, like saving inspiration on social media. In short, we millennials are excited about the prospect of planning a meaningful, personalized wedding, even if we aren’t engaged.

Tunes

The Vibe

Some say they’re cheugy, but there are just certain songs that immediately transport all millennials back to high school. Those songs are like a magnetic ﬁeld—it’s nearly impossible to resist rocking out on the dance ﬂoor the minute the beat drops on these hits.

While Gen Z has started leaning into microaesthetics (generally formatted as ___core), millennials have long adored overarching themes and wedding styles to inform the event. Think: boho, timeless, whimsical—those buzzwords are catnip to millennials. In addition to the inﬂuence of Pinterest, the iconic TV show Say Yes to the Dress debuted on TLC in 2007 and ushered in a new age of wedding dress shopping and trends. To-be-weds could watch other engaged people embark on the dress journey alongside Randy Fenoli. The show’s cult following bolstered many trends, but it also turned wedding dress shopping into a deeply emotional and meaningful part of wedding planning in a way it wasn’t before.

“Perfect,” by Ed Sheeran

“Crazy in Love,” by Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z

“We Found Love,” by Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris

GEN Z The millennial vs Gen Z competition around whose style reigns supreme will likely never abate. And this might be a hot take, but I think that’s okay. Hear me out: Each generation has dreamt up some stellar ideas, and I love how generations bring something new to the table as they age. While I’ll never run out of questions for Gen Zers, I’m still obsessed with the wedding trends they’re creating.

Tunes In the age of TikTok, many songs gain widespread popularity after going viral on the app. Gone are the boomer days of vinyls and cassettes. Likewise, burning CDs or sharing iPod earbuds are things of millennial lore. For Gen Z, AI suggestions from streaming platforms like Spotify and Pandora help them discover music. But another big source of inspo? YouTube. This generation’s music taste eschews characterization. Gen Zers are more likely to dabble in a wide variety of genres and won’t pass over an artist because they “don’t like [insert genre] music.” From K-pop to melancholy indie-folk tunes, Gen Z has curated some sick beats.

by Daniel Caesar feat. Kali Uchis

“Say Yes To Heaven,” by Lana Del Rey

“I Like You (A Happier Song),” by Post Malone with Doja Cat 58

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ALL PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES

“Get You,”

QU I Z

What Generation Does Your Dream Wedding Belong To? Pick me, choose me, love me. It ’s time to go back to (wedding) school to discover whether your wedding was meant to take place in another era . Spoiler aler t: There are no wrong answers on this quiz . Each generation has some iconic characteristics that would make any wedding timeless .

DRESS: SHUTTERSTOCK; ALL OTHERS: GETTY IMAGES

2. A. B. C.

5. PICK A BOUQUET A. Classic collection of roses B. Whimsical arrangement with pampas grass and dried foliage C. Single stem of anthurium

PICK A VENUE Barn Petite estate Ballroom

3. PICK A COLOR A. Baby blue B. Burnt orange C. Gold

TALLY ’EM UP So, spill the tea—what generation does the wedding you’ve always envisioned fall into?

6. PICK A DRINK A. Margarita named after your pet B. Glass of champagne as a ceremony welcome C. Wine 7. PICK A GUEST-EXPERIENCE PRIORITY A. Photo booth B. Custom matchbooks C. Tarot-card reader 8. PICK A VIBE A. Romantic B. Traditional C. Unique

Boomer (8–12 points) You’re a classic to-be-wed who values tradition and time-honored styles. Millennial (13–20 points) You’re a creative nearlywed with a desire to ﬁll your nuptials with ample personalization. Gen Z (21–24 points) You’re an out-of-the-box to-be-wed with a penchant for reimaging tradition and breaking the status quo.

SCORING 5. A-1, B-2, C-3; 6. A-2, B-3, C-1; 7. A-2, B-1, C-3; 8. A-2, B-1, C-3

“Just about anything can become a wedding theme for Gen Z to-beweds,” explains Johnson. “From glam-rock to coastal grandma, whatever vibe you’re feeling at the moment can influence your wedding color scheme, decorations, outfits and more. Of note, the wedding day transformation trend is for people who aren’t afraid of change and are always ready to make a statement. Some newlyweds get a jaw-dropping haircut during the cocktail hour or spontaneously alter their wedding outfit mid-reception from a long gown to a flirty minidress. Having a wedding that feels super personal is important to Gen Z couples. That’s why we’re putting money toward nontraditional attire, venues, decor and more to create a truly unique (and Instagram-worthy) experience. Our generation hires diverse vendors to help us realize our dream wedding, so we can put a twist on cultural traditions that honor our heritage and represent our personality at the same time.”

4. PICK A WEDDING DRESS SILHOUET TE A. Minidress with oversized bow B. Mermaid gown with strapless sweetheart neckline C. Ball gown with puff sleeves

1. A-2, B-1, C-3; 2. A-2, B-3, C-1; 3. A-1, B-3, C-2; 4. A-3, B-2, C-1;

The Vibe

1. PICK A SONG A. “I Gotta Feeling,” by The Black Eyed Peas B. “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me),” by Whitney Houston C. “D.A.N.C.E.,” by Justice

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PJ & DJ Party

IN LIEU OF A TR ADITIONAL BRIDESMAID LUNCHEON , THIS TO - BE-WED HOSTED A “SUPER PINK , SPARKLY AND GIRLY ” SLUMBER PART Y TO KICK OFF HER TE X AS WEDDING WEEKEND.

A N N I E & BO B BY

STO RY BY H A N N A H N OWAC K P H O T O G R A P H S B Y K E L LY H O R N B E R G E R

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Sweet Dreams Monogrammed tote bags filled with

goodies, a gift from Annie, marked each girl’s bed. Attendees also received personalized buckets filled with popcorn and candy like Starbursts and M&Ms.

Event Date May 4, 2023

Event Site A private residence, Beaumont, Texas

Photography Kelly Hornberger

Event Planning Keely Thorne Events

Attire Sleeper

Rentals Vintage Events, LLC

Stationery Papellerie

Catering Katharine & Company

DJ Joshua Bean

Decor + Photo Booth

“There’s nothing better than having a sleepover with your best girls...even if you’re in your early 20s,” says Anne Kathryn (Annie) Trevino (24, works in public relations). Before her May 6, 2023, wedding to Robert (Bobby) DiTullio (24, an outside sales representative) in Houston, Annie hosted a “pink disco” slumber party with her bridesmaids. The prewedding bridesmaid luncheon is common in the South, but Annie wanted to mix up the tradition with a low-key girls’ night. In keeping with the childhood nostalgia associated with sleepovers, Annie hosted the May 4th event at her parents’ home in Beaumont, Texas (with limousine transportation on hand to pamper the gals). The in62

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Lovebug Party Boutique

Welcome Bags For Heaven’s Sake

Balloons Pizzazz Balloon Decor

spiration for the unique event was to start the weekend on a relaxed note. “I thought it would be more enjoyable to do something casual and fun the night before the rehearsal dinner, rather than being rushed that morning and forced into wearing yet another cocktail dress and heels,” explains Annie.

Since the entire party was so novel, the sky was truly the limit when it came to planning everything from decor to entertainment. As a contrast to the classic aesthetic of the wedding day, Annie leaned into a feminine scheme of “iridescence, sparkles and shades of pink.” To invite her besties to the

“PJ and DJ party,” Annie designed a boxed mailer containing a pearl-bordered pink card resting on a bed of feathers, plus a pink satin sleep mask. Pink balloons greeted the crew upon arrival at Annie’s parents’ home. Inside, beds were arranged in rows under a canopy of fairy lights. Music was a key element of the pajama party. A DJ spun tunes throughout the night, ranging from hip-hop and disco to country and Broadway hits. “Dancing Queen,” by ABBA, was a fan favorite. While most of the night was focused on Annie, the bride creatively included her fiancé in the party as well. In the backyard, a bar setup with a Vespa scooter nodded to Bobby’s Italian heritage. She offered a variety of cocktails, including a prosecco sip with raspberry liqueur and a blackberry vodka drink topped with sparkling water. Inside, a picnic-style meal awaited guests with a menu of Annie’s favorite dishes. Attendees enjoyed Parmesan-crusted chicken salad, pimento cheese sandwiches, Kahlua brownies and heart-shaped almond sugar cookies. Food and beverages were just one highlight from the nostalgic night. “The most special moment was all of us acting like teenagers again, dancing around the living room without a care in the world,” recalls Annie.

Snap a Selfie In addition to musical entertainment,

Annie also set up a selfie station for her friends to take pics when they weren’t dancing.

“I thought it would be enjoyable to do something casual and fun the night before the rehearsal dinner,” recalls Annie. THE KNOT

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PREWEDDING EVENTS

Party On THE WEDDING DAY IS THE GR AND FINALE TO A STRING OF CELEBR ATIONS . (AND RIGHTFULLY SO. E VERY LOVE STORY DESERVES ITS SHINING MOMENT. OR R ATHER , MOMENTS .) IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED A CRE ATIVE PART Y- PL ANNING BOOST AS THE HOST OR THE GUEST OF HONOR , WE’ VE GOT YOU COVERED WITH SE VEN DELIGHTFUL SU GGESTIONS FOR PRENUP TIAL E VENTS . BY SAMANTHA IACIA I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y S H E L B Y W A R W O O D

Engagement Un-Party When it comes to prewedding events, the engagement party sometimes gets overlooked. Probably because there’s a lot going on at once—if the proposal was a complete surprise, there might not be much time to prepare. These parties are usually hosted by one set of parents, but they can easily be hosted by other family members, friends or the newly engaged couple. You don’t have to throw a full-blown party, but this phase is so ﬂeeting that it’s extra-important to pause and savor the moment. If the thought of a big party gives you a stress rash, pare down the celebration to just a handful of loved ones. Plan a long weekend getaway with both sets of parents (a perfect way for the families to get to know each other) or host a themed dinner party with your closest friends.

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WeddingParty Potluck For the shower host (usually the maid of honor, but sometimes Mom or another loved one), expenses can add up quickly, especially if you’re coordinating more than one of the prewedding events. The wedding shower is a perfect opportunity to pivot to a group effort by asking everyone in the wedding party to bring one homemade appetizer, entrée or dessert. Not only will you cut down on costs, but you’ll create a more personal and intentional experience for everyone involved.

Couples’ Wedding Shower One thing that’s great about a wedding shower? Opening all of the carefully curated registry gifts from guests (and acting surprised even when you’re the one who picked everything out for yourself). One thing that’s not so great? The old notion that wedding showers are only for one person in the relationship. Opt for a couples’ shower, planned by both sides of the wedding party, so everyone can get in

on the fun. You can skip the group games and activities too. We love a fun icebreaker for laughs, but don’t feel like you need to play weddingthemed bingo. Make the party feel like a bespoke experience by ﬁnding a unique location that acts as its own form of entertainment, like a private brewery tour and dinner, or a chartered brunch cruise.

The Double Bach Bash There’s nothing wrong with having separate bachelor or bachelorette parties, but that isn’t the only option. Invite everyone in the wedding party for a joint bach party so that the entire group can celebrate together. Guaranteed to be a fun bonding experience, this big group of mutual friends from college and childhood besties will appreciate more time to get to know each other. Rent a house (or two) for the weekend and plan activities like Olympic-style games, a backyard pool party or a day at a theme park. Once everyone has spent a few hours—or days—together, the group’s connection will shine through on the actual wedding day.

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The Can’tMiss AfterParty The Oscars, the Met Gala and your wedding all have this in common: Everyone knows that the after-party is where the festivities really get underway. Continue the energy

from the reception by moving the party to another location at your venue or organize group shuttles to take guests to a nearby spot. Preview the after-party on your wedding website (invitation inserts optional) and ask your coordinator and weddingparty members to spread the word on the dance ﬂoor. The promise of savory snacks, like pizza and fries, should be enough to entice guests. Make it worth their while by creating a catchy playlist, setting up a selﬁe backdrop and handing out exclusive after-party-only swag.

The Reinvented Rehearsal Dinner The standard rehearsal dinner is straightforward: The couple, family members and the wedding party typically run through the ceremony and end the evening with a sit-down dinner. While it isn’t exactly the time to rage all night, you can liven up the event with unexpected activities and personalization. Since it’s a relatively intimate group, there’s more room to get creative. You’ll want to provide a nice meal, but don’t take the “dinner” element too seriously. Rent out a bowling alley for some friendly competition or plan a beachfront lobster bake to give your inner circle a unique experience.

Fly Solo It’s important to take time for yourself during your engagement too. There’s no shame in wanting to celebrate solo if the idea of a big prewedding event doesn’t sound like your idea of fun. Take a break from wedding planning and schedule a trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit or use the opportunity to ﬁnally sign up for that art class you’ve put off. While getting married won’t change who you are, planning a wedding can sometimes feel like it brings a lot of obligations. We say take every opportunity to enjoy what you genuinely love.

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TKMSPR24 PREWEDDING EVENTS.L [P]_1004122.indd 67

12/12/23 7:53 PM

FA S H I O N

BRIDAL FASHION L ARGELY REMAINS STEEPED IN TRADITION . BUT ONCE IN A WHILE , A RADICAL WIND BLOWS THROUGH FASHION WEEK . UP FIRST: BL ACK ( YES, BL ACK ) DRESSES, ALONG WITH FRESH OP TIONS FOR BRIDES OF EVERY SARTORIAL STRIPE . BY NAOMI ROUGEAU

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COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

Runway Report

5 3

Back to Black

2 8

7 Metallic accents shine even brighter atop a noir background.

Andrew Kwon’s voluminous, tiered number (opposite) guarantees a bold s tatement at any formal af fair. Black bridal looks have been percolating for a sea son or two, their popularity now bol s tered by recent celeb brides who cros sed over to the dark side. 1. Andrew Kwon 2. Hera Couture 3. Rebecca Vallance 4. Peter Langner 5. Andrew Kwon 6. Peter Langner 7. Julie Vino 8. Watters by Watters

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From exposed corsetr y to delicate lace insets, boudoir inf luences were s trong this sea son, with interpretations of the theme running the gamut . Designers, including Honor ’s Giovanna Randall , took a retro approach inspired by Valley of the Dolls Dolls,, while Chris tos Cos tarellos embraced Vic toriana .

5 4 6

Night Moves

1. Vera Wang 2. Watters 3. Honor 4. Costarellos 5. Watters 6. Jaclyn Whyte 7. Tony Ward 8. Arava Polak 9. Morilee 10. Watters by Watters

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COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

9 10

1. Esé Azénabor 2. Julie Vino 3. Nardos 4. The Atelier Couture 5. Nadia Manjarrez 6. Yellow by Sahar 7. Vera Wang

Caped Crusade 7 5

Forget fussy bustles and costume changes. The cape is an ideal alternative to a long veil or train, adding a dose of drama that you can easily shirk when it’s time to hit the dance ﬂoor.

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

1. Ines Di Santo 2. Wtoo by Watters 3. Monique Lhuillier 4. Esé Azénabor 5. Galia Lahav 6. Vera Wang

Rule of thumb: the deeper the plunge, the longer the hemline.

Take the Plunge THE KNOT

1. Esé Azénabor 2. Monique Lhuillier 3. Reem Acra 4. Costarellos 5. Vera Wang 6. Nardos

She’s Got Legs 6

2 1

The “November Rain” vibes are strong with this one, and we’re so here for it.

3 5

Well Suited

2 4 7

From jumpsuits to separates, menswear inﬂuences were abundant.

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

1. Maticevski 2. Nadia Manjarrez 3. Costarellos 4. Milla Nova 5. KYHA 6. Bronx and Banco 7. Rebecca Vallance

3 2

1. SOUCY 2. Badgley Mischka 3. Ines Di Santo 4. Esé Azénabor 5. SOUCY 6. Amsale 7. Nadia Manjarrez 8. SOUCY 9. Anne Barge

1 4

Pale Fire

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

Why should bridesmaids get to have all the fun? Designers embraced the full spec trum of pa s tel s, pairing feminine hues with f loral detail s and bows. Bridal Fa shion Week newcomer SOUCY ’s ea sy silhouettes will go the dis tance long af ter the wedding.

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8 7

With no shor tage of bia s - cut slip dres ses, C arolyn Bes sette - Kennedy cements her s tatus a s an eternal bridal fa shion muse. O ther rif f s on the minimalis t theme skewed ever y direc tion from Grecian to O ld Holly wood.

1. THEIA 2. Mark Ingram 3. Lihi Hood 4. Anne Barge 5. Vera Wang 6. Sébastien Luke 7. Maticevski 8. Nadia Manjarrez

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Grecian goddess vibes = timeless wedding photos.

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

Clean Slate

1. Andrew Kwon 2. The Atelier Couture 3. Ines Di Santo 4. Honor 5. Peter Langner 6. Rebecca Vallance

Blue Crush

From cornﬂower to midnight, make your “something blue” a dress for added impact. NB: Ines Di Santo’s ﬂoral number was hand-painted by the designer herself.

1 7

3 COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

1. Peter Langner 2. Galia Lahav 3. Amsale 4. Rebecca Vallance 5. Esé Azénabor 6. Arava Polak 7. Peter Langner

In Full Bloom 5

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1. Anne Barge 2. Dana Harel 3. Anne Barge 4. Milla Nova 5. Andrew Kwon 6. Francesca Miranda 7. Lihi Hod 8. WONÁ Concept 9. Alyne by Rita Vinieris 10. WONÁ Concept

No longer relegated to second (or third) looks, the minidres s signal s a welcome shif t from more traditional (and of ten cumbersome) silhouettes that feel s thoroughly modern.

The Big Short

6 5

1 3

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

9 76

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2 1

Sphere of Influence

COURTESY OF DESIGNERS

Long a s taple of bridal jewelr y, pearl s take center s tage this sea son, elevating dres ses of ever y aes thetic. You’ll want to keep acces sories minimal with this trend and beware: Floorsweeping pearl embellishments can be noisy on hard f loors.

1. Morilee 2. Bronx and Banco 3. Galia Lahav 4. Rebecca Vallance 5. Watters 6. Bronx and Banco 7. Dana Harel 8. Galia Lahav Couture 9. Esé Azénabor

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V E N U E M AT C H M A K E R

TOP: KEITH BROFSKY; BOTTOM: EARTHMARK PHOTOGRAPHY; DANA & JOSH: PROVIDED BY THE COUPLE

Finding “The Option The Couple: Dana and Josh Wedding Location: Paciﬁc Northwest Guest Count: 180 Total Wedding Budget: $80,000

1 Packages include a campfre complete with s’mores!

How They Describe Their Dream Venue: Rustic, laid-back, unique Venue Criteria: Summer-camp vibe On-site lodging for out-of-town guests Within 3 hours’ drive of a major airport

IslandWood in Bainbridge Island, WA An environmental learning center set on 250 acres of forest, with on-site lodging for all guests for the entire weekend and all-inclusive packages.

Want to play Venue Matchmaker with The Knot? Email us at advice@ theknotww.com, and we may feature you in a future issue!

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One”

FALLING IN LOVE WITH A WEDDING VENUE IS ALMOST AS BIG OF A DEAL AS FALLING FOR YOUR PARTNER. HERE, WE FOUND THREE GREAT OPTIONS FOR THIS LUCKY COUPLE. BY KIM FORREST

Option

Stunning creekside photo backdrops!

Adeline Farms in Woodland, WA A charming venue with a scenic outdoor ceremony site and red-barn reception space, plus a variety of wedding packages, in-house florists, and event designers and planning services.

Option

On-site glamping and camping available!

Camp Colton in Colton, OR

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: COURTESY OF VENDOR; BRI’ANNE ELIZABETH PHOTOGRAPHY (2); INDWELL WEDDINGS

A tranquil, woodsy retreat with a variety of lodging options for guests, including exclusive access for the wedding weekend and indoor and outdoor spaces for the ceremony and reception.

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NOW TRENDING

The Trends We Can’t Get Enough Of

How We Made Our List We don’t have a crystal ball, but we do our homework, and we have a little (okay, a lot of) wedding experience. Our editors look to pop culture to identify the trends that have lasting power. We take notes from the front row at Bridal Fashion Week about

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DON’T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT, JUST TAKE NOTES. B Y L A U R E N K AY I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y T I A N A C R I S P I N O

The 2024 wedding trends have arrived, right on time and very welldressed. After surviving the pandemic, the wedding boom of 2022 and the uncertainty of 2023, this year is all about love and celebration. If you’re planning your own “I dos” or just want to know what’s hot, the new trends are equal parts inspiring and down for a good time. But the real win here is that they’re all easy to make your own.

2 the latest wedding looks (we get early access to the bling and accessories too). Every day, we pour over amazing wedding submissions, looking for themes and standout ideas (yep, our couples, aka you, often double as our muses). And lastly, we rely on our squad of expert pros in The Knot Vendor Marketplace to corroborate our predictions.

The result of all our efforts is 24 of the latest wedding trends we conﬁdently stand behind. Some will inspire you and some may leave you speechless. And we bet you’ll see them at every wedding you attend this year.

Candid Cameras Today’s wedding photographers are leaning into docu-style portraiture, capturing candid moments alongside posed pictures. These realistic shots capture the energy of the moment just as much as the moment itself. To-be-weds are asking their guests to moonlight as paparazzi too, arming them with disposable and Polaroid cameras to snap throughout the day. The result is a wide variety of imagery that allows you to relive your wedding day through multiple lenses.

The Year Of The Mini Honey, we shrunk it. All of it. From bouquets to cakes and after-party dresses, 2024 is the year of the mini. These pint-sized details are delivering big, though. Who says no to a mini cone of french fries attached to a champagne ﬂute? Not us. This is an easy trend to embrace regardless of the party you’re throwing. If a minidress isn’t your vibe, ask your wedding party VIPs to carry posies down the aisle or serve guests a personalized pie in lieu of a slice of cake.

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Experiential Entertainment Sure, you’ve got your band or DJ on lock, but why not delight your guests in a new way? Live painters will commemorate your wedding day on canvas (talk about a great wedding gift to yourselves). Couples are also hiring sketch artists to blend in with the crowd at cocktail hour and surprise guests with 5x7 portraits of themselves in their wedding best. These keepsakes can double as unique favors too.

4. Ice Sculptures We know what you’re thinking, but this is not the ice sculpture from your parents’ wedding. Not to be confused with an ice luge, this frosty decor is more personalized, like a work of art. Your fur baby can’t make it to the reception? Sculpt him in ice! Create a table from a thick block to display your cake, or double up with an abstract sculpture that houses the raw bar at cocktail hour.

6. Drone Photography You’re right, drones aren’t new, but they are one of our favorite trends that grows in popularity every year. For starters, having options when it comes to the visuals of your day is #goals (see number 1). But what we love most about drone photography is the angles, especially if you’re saying “I do” outdoors. Many photographers and videographers offer aerial photography as part of their packages, recognizing the magic of seeing your ﬁrst kiss (and all the people you love) from above.

Secret Cocktail Menus and Late-Night Surprises

Who doesn’t love a little mystery? Secret cocktail menus are trending among couples, many of whom can’t settle on just *one* signature sip. The possibilities to execute this trend are endless: Put a hidden note on the back of the ceremony program, or designate a few people to order the beautifully garnished bevvy and spread the word. A secret cocktail also needs a chic name, like the restaurant where you had your ﬁrst date. Keep the surprise and delight coming with a late-night snack. Mickey D’s your ﬁrst love? Or maybe you’re more of a taco truck kind of couple? A french fry bar or soft pretzel stand is sure to end things on a high note.

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5 Quality Time Before the Wedding Contrary to popular belief (cough, your grandmother) you can see your S.O. before you walk down the aisle. Really! And even before a ﬁrst look. Some couples are opting to meet for breakfast the morning of their wedding to sneak in some quality alone time and set an intention for the day before the celebration begins. Others are getting ready alongside one another and surprising their wedding party with a “ﬁrst look.” We’re here for all of it and love that this new wedding trend is yet another reminder: you do you.

Themed Rehearsal Dinners

Soft launch the magic of your wedding day with a themed rehearsal dinner. Most attendees are family or wedding party VIPs—why not dazzle them? Couples are using the rehearsal dinner as an opportunity to deliver a highly personalized guest experience by leaning into a speciﬁc theme. Highlight your Italian heritage with an authentic pizzeria experience complete with make-your-own-pies. Love playing Clue on cozy nights in? Host a murder mystery dinner for a truly memorable experience. Met at a bowling alley? Roll a strike! The possibilities are endless!

t e n

Textured Cakes Is it *even* a wedding without a cake? We think not. The new trend in wedding cakes is all about texture. From pleats to lace, there are so many options to personalize your confection. Stenciled patterns that match your grandmother’s wedding china or ruffles that mimic the design of your wedding dress are low-key ways to add a little ﬂourish to the ﬁnale of your day.

Audio Guest Books Instead of asking guests to pen a few words on paper, record their well-wishes on a vintage phone. These fun retro accessories double as recording devices—and the ultimate wedding keepsake. While a note is always nice, there’s nothing quite like hearing your grandmother share some marital wisdom or your college roommate crack an inside joke. Audio guest books are a wedding trend we could see lasting well beyond 2024.

11. Nautical Nuptials Introducing a completely unique way to wed and party the night away: a boat. Your guests are held captive! There’s no noise restriction! And that’s saying nothing of the views and gentle breezes you’ll get aboard the SS I Do. Party boats are the venue of choice for couples in 2024. These ﬂoating settings are perfect for nautical soirees or sailing-loving couples. Pro tip: Give this trend its moment by timing your nuptials with golden hour or a picturesque sunset.

12.

The New Guest Dress Code

Perhaps you’ve already given a lot of thought to what you and your wedding party will wear, but what about your guests? Couples are getting more speciﬁc with their wedding day dress codes. “Cocktail attire” has been swapped for speciﬁcs like “wear something red” or “no black suits.” Themed attire is also a thing, with couples requesting “Western wear” or “Regencyinspired formal wear.” If this trend speaks to you, embrace it kindly—give your partygoers some guidance on what to wear or share your vision with wedding VIPs to spread the word. Also, and we have to say it, don’t be disappointed if people don’t follow your dress code to the letter. It’s your day, but it’s their choice.

13.

Exchange Private Vows

This trend isn’t just for introverts (but we know they’ll especially love it). Couples are exchanging private vows ahead of their prime time ceremony, a conﬁdential and heartfelt shift from more public declarations of love. If you prefer to wait until the main event, your officiant can let your guests know you’re exchanging private vows and give you time to quietly share your promises, mic off. Many couples who go this route still exchange traditional marriage vows (think: “till death do us part”) in front of their loved ones—the choice is yours.

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Monochromatic Flowers Flowers and weddings just go together—don’t ﬁght it. The trend we can’t get enough of this year is monochromatic blooms. Surprisingly, single-color stems pack a punch in small posies and massive arrangements alike. Want a little variety? Opt for shades of the same hue (light pink, magenta, deep reds) for an ombré effect. Can’t settle on one color? Group arrangements of single colors together to create a ﬂoral rainbow of sorts.

15. Permanent Favors Delight your guests with the latest in favor trends. Instead of sending loved ones home with monogrammed chocolates, consider something more permanent. Couples are treating guests to bracelets that are welded onto

17. Mix Things Up Who says you have to say “I do” before cocktails are had? Opt for a little event mashup instead. Treat everyone to cocktail hour *before* the wedding. Or hold your ceremony at your rehearsal dinner (hey, it’s a more intimate gathering) and let the wedding day be about the celebration of your new status. We’re also here for surprise nuptials positioned as an engagement party or even a housewarming. TL;DR—there’s no right way to wed.

18. Sizzle Reel Picture this: It’s the morning after and you *need* to relive last night. Enter the sizzle reel. This 90-second snippet of your wedding video delivers. It’s a highenergy snapshot of the fun and magic of your wedding day, from clips of your vow exchange to the last dance. Ask your videographer about this trend—you won’t regret it. We are living in the reel world, after all (sorry, had to).

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wrists, plus tattoo and piercing stations. Yep, you read that right. Too avant-garde for your taste? Hire an on-site engraver to personalize candles for your guests or an embosser to add initials to leatherbound journals.

Day-After Recovery Lounge

You just treated your guests to an unforgettable night. Be a little extra and give them a really good morning after too. Couples are trading a sit-down brunch in favor of recovery lounges. In addition to grab-and-

go breakfast options, guests can enjoy chair massages, ginger smoothies and even IV drips. You can swap stories from the night before and spend some more quality time with your guests before wrapping the weekend.

19.

Dress Separates

We love a good second look. But we’ll do you one better: dress separates. The bridal fashion runways were full of skirts and tops and dresses with removable layers, making this one of our favorite fashion trends for 2024. Double looks without having to waste precious wedding day minutes changing (it’s the fastest day of your life, trust). We also saw plenty of dresses in eye-catching hues, including black.

Celestial Vibes

21. The Last Dance We are here for this new wedding trend: Instead of taking to the dance ﬂoor for your ﬁrst dance to kick off the reception, save that sway for the very last song. End your wedding day with a special melody, surrounded by your loved ones. You’ll have the same spotlight at the end of the night, but we’re betting fewer nerves after a couple of hours of celebrating. We call that a win-win.

22 We’re not saying sparklers are out, but the trend we’re hyped for is cold ﬁreworks and laser shows. Cold ﬁreworks produce sparks at a low temperature, making them safer than their hotter counterparts. And laser

23.

Unforgettable Exits shows can be set to music and double as a ﬁnal moment of entertainment for your guests (this is an awesome choice for events being held indoors from start to ﬁnish). Either way, you have yourselves an unforgettable exit.

Seated Wedding Parties

You’ve identiﬁed a ceremony seat for your VIPs (mother of the bride, father of the groom, etc.). Why not your wedding party? Giving your squad a seat means they’re comfortable, and you and your soon-tobe spouse have the full spotlight for your vow exchange. Reserve some seats in the front row so your people get an unobstructed view of your commitment.

Is there anything more mystifying than the cosmos? Celestial details are one of the trends living rent-free in our heads. From zodiacs to moon phases and meteor showers, there’s plenty of inspo in the galaxy. There are dozens of ways to incorporate this theme into your wedding, from naming your tables after constellations to offering guests palm readings and beyond. (DJ, play “A Sky Full of Stars” by Coldplay.)

24.

Mini-moon Plus a Honeymoon

What’s better than one honeymoon? Two! Couples are saving that bucket-list trip for a later date and taking a mini-moon nearby (even the wedding locale) to recharge after the day. These weekend-long respites are

the perfect way to celebrate, small-scale. We love this travel trend for couples who like to maximize their time or for duos whose dream honeymoon location is out of season (like the Amalﬁ Coast in February).

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FA L L I N G F O R YO U

Meet the Modern Meet-Cute By Sarah Hanlon

Illustration by Tiana Crispino FOR DECADES , WE’ VE SEEN HE ART- FLU T TERING FIRST- ME T MOMENTS ON -SCREEN . IT TURNS OU T THAT MOVIE-WORTH Y MEE T- CU TES ALSO HAPPEN IRL . 86

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BY T H E NUMBERS

29% of married couples meet on a dating app

PHOTO CREDIT

71% of couples have a meet-cute offline

Fictional meet-cutes are dramatic, fateful and oh-so swoonworthy. It’s Harry meeting Sally on an 18-hour road trip after college. It’s Anna Scott stumbling into William Thacker’s Notting Hill bookstore. It’s Steve Edison saving Mary Fiore when the wedding planner’s shoe gets caught in a grate on a busy San Francisco street. According to The Knot 2023 Jewelry & Engagement Study, 29 percent of married couples meet on a dating app. However, the remaining 71 percent of couples have a meet-cute offline. Our data shows that 15 percent of couples meet through mutual friends, while another 15 percent connect through school. (In fact, 8 percent of couples consider themselves high school sweethearts, while 4 percent met as children.) As for a Jimand-Pam-worthy office romance? They exist, as 10 percent of couples meet in the workplace. Eight percent meet in social settings (think: bars, restaurants, the gym), and, speaking of social, 5 percent connect through social media. So the movieworthy meet-cute is still possible, even in the digital era. Consider Sasha and Daniel Gutierrez. The Colorado natives were on an April 2022 flight from Denver to London, and a flight attendant moved Daniel to a seat in Sasha’s empty row. “About an hour into the flight, I knew I was going to marry him,” she remembers. Upon landing, they exchanged numbers and met up several times in Europe throughout their respective trips. Seven months later, Daniel proposed in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. They married in Colorado in August 2023. Michaela Hatlee and Amanda Houston’s meet-cute can fall into one of two categories. Hatlee, a Maryland teacher, joined a Facebook group and hit it off with her assigned “buddy,” Callie B. When Hatlee went through an unexpected breakup, Callie B. was there to support her. In fact, she connected Hatlee with her best friend (Houston), who lived in California and had experienced a similar situation. The spark ignited. “There was a moment when we thought, ‘This is more than a friendship,’” Hatlee recalls. Shortly after, Houston flew across the country for their first date. “I came back home to California for two weeks,” she says. “Then I flew back to Maryland…and stayed.” Two years later, in October 2023, Hatlee and Houston married, and Callie B. was the maid of honor. “People talk about ‘internet friends,’ but I never thought they were real,” Hatlee reflects. “Everything came full circle.” Kate and Lucas Lewandowski had another “full circle” meet-

cute. The couple met at the Saint Patrick’s Day parade in Chicago when Kate—now a marketing lead at Nike—was 15 years old. After becoming Facebook friends, they discovered that they shared the same birthday: May 28. Though life took them on separate paths, they reconnected through mutual friends a few years after they had met and began dating around Saint Patrick’s Day in 2012. Kate and Lucas, a physical therapist, married in June 2023 at the Chicago Cultural Center—an unexpected nod to their sweet beginning. “Our venue was across the street from Millennium Park, which is where we met,” Kate shares. “We fell in love with the magnificence of its green mosaic tiles, which felt symbolic of our meet-cute.” Looking back, she credits the magic of the holiday for bringing them together: “I like to think I got pretty lucky with him.”

3% met other wa ys

3% found each other through a religious institution

4% met as children

5% connect through social networking sites

29% meet via online dating 8% consider themselves high school sweethearts

15% of couples meet through mutual friends 10% of couples meet at work

15% connect through school

Meet-Cute Moments in Pop Culture What’s your favorite rom-com?

➜ ➜ ➜ ➜

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (60%) When Harry Met Sally (18%) Notting Hill (13%) Hitch (10%)

Who’s your favorite rom-com couple?

➜ ➜ ➜ ➜

Toula & Ian: My Big Fat Greek Wedding (38%) Nick & Rachel: Crazy Rich Asians (29%) Mary & Steve: The Wedding Planner (29%) Anna & William: Notting Hill (11%)

Do you believe it’s possible to have a movieworthy meet-cute in 2024?

➜ ➜

Yes (71%) No (29%)

*Based on survey findings from an October 2023 social media poll by The Knot.

Scan for our favorite rom-coms (meetcutes, included).

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WELL-BEING

BEFORE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE , MAKE YOUR WAY TO PREMARITAL PREP. BY ESTHER LEE P H O T O I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y T I A N A C R I S P I N O

There’s a scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte York is determined to convert to Judaism. She knocks on the door at the synagogue and a rabbi appears. “My name is Charlotte York, and I am here today because I would like to consider joining the Jewish faith,” she declares. The rabbi swiftly replies, “We’re not interested.” He then shuts the door on her face. Jilted, York knocks only to be slighted, again, by a different clergy member. While lamenting about the interaction to her ﬁancé, Harry Goldenblatt, York learns it’s a standard practice for an outsider to be rejected three times as they earnestly convey their interest in converting to Judaism. So York sets forth with the premarital education experience (a conversion in her case), where she develops a deeper understanding of herself, her new faith and her future with Goldenblatt. The purpose of premarital counseling is to deepen one’s self-awareness and understanding of their partner. High

divorce rates, unhealthy marriages, and, sadly, domestic abuse cases spotlight the need for premarital counseling across languages, cultures, religions and identities. Until the late 20th century, counseling came with a stigma. Often, couples sought advice from loved ones, local pastors or rabbis. It’s only within the last decade that premarital counseling has reached, well, “trend” status. PMC (as some couples call it) used to be considered a lower-priority wedding checklist item, but the stigma is dissipating—and we have Gen Z to thank. According to a report from the American Psychological Association, never in modern human history has a generation expressed so much interest in prioritizing their mental health. Today, people consider PMC to be vital to their well-being, which is why we predict counseling sessions will become even more common. Let’s dive into the data to understand why.

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Why Now? The US divorce rate peaked in 1980, following the sexual revolution of the ’60s and the ’70s, and the newfound availability of “no-fault” divorce. While that number has dropped steadily, about 35 to 50 percent of married couples still divorced in 2023. In 2001, a groundbreaking study by researcher Scott Stanley based in Denver concluded that “premarital education” helped lower the divorce rate up to 31 percent. In fact, Howard Markman, PhD, who founded the Prevention and Relationship Education Program, Inc. (PREP), argues that couples are typically at their happiest during their engagement. Note there’s a nuanced difference between happiness and satisfaction: the latter increases with problem-solving and facing challenges head-on as a team. “When planning the wedding, most people don’t see themselves as having problems and instead see themselves as having opportunities,” says Markman, a psychology professor and codirector of the University of Denver Center for Marital and Family Studies. “Marriage and divorce rates are both declining, but [the number of splits] is still alarmingly high. Most divorces occur within the first seven years of marriage, and it’s even higher in the first two years of marriage.” He argues that couples should be equipped with the proper communication skills to work through their issues as they embark on marriage. “Historically, a lot of folks sought premarital counseling or therapy only when there were issues of divorce or separation,” says Pankhuri Aggarwal, PhD. “That’s how, traditionally, therapy was utilized. More and more nowadays, you see couples getting proactive in seeking counseling as a place to bounce off ideas and gain a third-party perspective on some of the issues driving their distress and their relationship.” One can argue that there is no better time to test couples on their compatibility and communication skills than during their engagement. According to our internal data, 81 percent of currently engaged couples are excited to be married. Yet 80 percent of respondents also said they experience stress during the wedding planning process. A sustained stress response is directly linked to health issues like depression and anxiety. Yet stress isn’t necessarily a negative thing, something psychologist Kelly McGonigal discusses in her book The Upside of Stress. Engagement is a unique period: If you’re like most, you’ll face some challenges when wedding planning. How you address them has a formative influence on your marital foundation.

What Exactly Is Premarital Therapy? Premarital therapy, counseling or programming, depending on the type of sessions, is typically hosted by a certified therapist, licensed mental health professional, or a religious leader, like a priest or a rabbi. The purpose of premarital therapy is for couples to work through issues in their relationship or to begin their marriage with a stronger understanding of 90

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The study published in Family Relations discovered four key benefits of PMC:

It delays couples from pulling the plug on their marriages.

It emphasizes that marriage matters.

It provides couples with key options for when they encounter marital issues.

It lowers risks for sizable marriage issues or divorce by engaging couples in premarital programs like PREP.

their values and a solid foundation for future success. to come to decisions individually,” she says. “I’m helping them “Most couples seek premarital counseling once they’re develop this [understanding of] how they hold differences.” engaged,” says Rabbi Elyssa Cherney based in Philadelphia. When addressing differences in upbringing, there is no “However, in certain instances, they may seek it prior to engreater indicator for identity biases than cultural and ethnic gagement. They could be navigating a challenging topic, such influences, says Aggarwal. “I look at culture as the way of doas merging two faiths in their future ing something. Culture can be as specific home, picking one faith to raise their fuas the way you interact with the world. ture children or marrying someone of a It’s one factor of how you look at yourdifferent faith.” Faith-based premarital self, at others and the world, and how the counseling is often included in an officiworld and other people look at you.” ating fee. It can range from six hours to Markman believes premarital prosix months of sessions. grams or intervention, as he refers to Those who prefer to turn to a licensed it, should be conducted with someone WHAT ARE professional can also use the platform who’s trained within a program and unSOME TOPICS COVERED for an outside opinion. “I’ve had indiderstands the nuances of that couple’s IN PREMARITAL viduals who come in and say, ‘We can’t cultural or religious beliefs. “It has to be COUNSELING? figure out a problem. Is that a problem?” a research-based program,” he argues. says Aggarwal. “Or perhaps couples feel “It’s not really counseling, it’s skill trainFINANCES/MONEY anxious or scared about the next phase ing. There are some principles associated and what that would mean. In the preswith a successful relationship that are reFAMILY PLANNING ence of a third party, they’d like to talk search-based and evaluated. The leaders through difficult topics.” You don’t need [who use the program to guide couples] COMMUNICATION SKILLS to have a problem to go to premarital are trained to do that program and to protherapy. vide coaching.” CONFLICT In some instances, couples can’t reach RESOLUTION an agreement on something they value. “If a couple gets stuck on a topic, or SEXUALITY there’s a recurring issue that cannot be solved, I recommend that they see a liHOUSEHOLD WORK censed couples therapist,” says Cherney. “I am always transparent about what is EARLY CHILDHOOD outside the realm of faith-based premarEXPERIENCES ital counseling. If that doesn’t resolve it, In premarital counseling, couples might I would recommend they take some time CULTURE unpack everything from daily chores to to process and think about what a marestate planning. The overarching themes riage would look like, and if their values RELIGIOUS will often involve big “Fs” like finances, and life goals align at this moment.” BELIEFS family, friendship, and fight or flight tenIn traditional therapy, a licensed prodencies. “It’s doing is learning,” says fessional typically observes personal Markman, the author of Fighting for Your values or identities in sessions, whereas Marriage. “You take Driver’s Ed before religious institutions that lead such sesyou get a driver’s license. You should sions emphasize faith and identity. While take Relationship before you get a marriage license.” You learn the goal is to help couples have healthy and fruitful marriages, the tools to help you navigate difficult times. not all are meant to be—and premarital therapy helps couples “Successful couples will identify where their differences determine whether marriage is a fit. “I don’t look at divorce or are creeping in,” Aggarwal says. “How you want to manage separation as something terrible,” says Aggarwal. “I think soci[those moments of disagreement] also could signify growth.” ety makes it seem that way. Sometimes, it’s actually very good Couples therapy also helps you form a team mentality. for the kids or for the couple. If they are constantly screamWhen you recognize your unique superpowers and form a ing at each other all day and letting kids be exposed to it, “we” perspective, you’ll be more willing to work together on they may function a lot better independently. I never make everything else. “We want interdependency,” says Awosan. the choice for my clients one way or the other. I present all “Teamwork brings excitement to people.” the information, playing back what I’m hearing, and then they “People don’t get married to handle conflict,” notes Markare in the position of deciding what they want to do with their man. “Protecting friendship, protecting fun, enhancing love differences.” and sensuality, helping people be better teammates is what Therapist Christiana Ibilola Awosan echoes this point. “My we do.” The goal is to protect and preserve positive connecjob as a licensed marriage and family therapist is basically to tions within your relationship. guide couples to a place of self-reflection, so that they’re able

The Key Beneﬁts of Premarital Counseling

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The Future of Premarital Counseling In 2018, the Harris Poll conducted research on behalf of the American Psychological Association in its annual Stress in America report. It discovered that Gen Z is much more willing to report on their mental health concerns than millennials and Gen X. A separate study found that two out of ﬁve Gen Zers go to therapy to manage their anxiety and depression. Based on this data, Gen Z is much more likely to seek out a form of counseling or therapy either for themselves or their partnership. The same applies to faith-based mechanisms for marital prep. Cherney has observed that more couples are coming back to traditions and rituals of faith-based marriages. “The more chaotic the world is around them, the more comforting these ancient traditions can feel. Having a professional guide you through the process is very valuable, and often underemphasized in the planning process.” She aims to transform how to-be-weds view their wedding and the formation of their new family unit. If you prefer the interaction of a professional, leader, or a mediator, you should book the venue and couples counseling around the same time. Currently, there are long waitlists for therapists, and some programs will require up to a six-month commitment.

What If We Decide to Skip It? Wedding planning is a busy time. At minimum, you should prioritize date nights and quality time with each other, a welcome respite from stuffing invitations and tracking RSVPs. Quality time, however, differs from premarital therapy and general couples counseling. Often, what ends up happening is couples wind up in therapy in times of crises or challenges. Markman refers to this set as “distressed couples.” Unprepared and unequipped to face issues head-on, they turn to a professional in moments of turmoil after resentment has built. Some are still reluctant to seek therapy, particularly among heterosexual couples. “Men are more reluctant in going to therapy,” explains Markman. “But they are interested in learning skills and principles. A class in relationships, of sorts, opens up the doors to learning.” Premarital counseling helps struggling couples observe, ultimately, whether they should move forward with marriage. “I’ve had couples who’ve had a hard time and say, ‘We’re not ready for this,’” says Awosan. “Others still have issues and end up moving forward. There’s nothing you can do about that. There are couples who say, ‘We still want to

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Same, but Different: Premarital Counseling Terms

Premarital Therapy: Led by a professional counselor or licensed practitioner, sessions help couples unpack their thoughts and challenges before marriage with the goal to help them reach their own conclusions. Premarital Counseling (PMC): Many Jewish and Christian organizations require couples to go through this program if a rabbi, ordained minister, pastor or church/synagogue leader is ofﬁciating the wedding. These leaders will also

recommend whether the couple should be together after observing their responses throughout sessions. It typically lasts three months. Premarital Education: A program fostered by research-backed methodology that is intended to be adopted by educational leaders. Pre-Cana Classes: The premarital prep work for most Catholic couples, led by a priest. It typically lasts six months. Premarital Coaching: For Muslim couples, the term premarital coaching has become a highlysought-out form of marriage prep hosted by Islamic wellness and community centers.

Phew. That was a lot. Marriage is also full of good humor. Read our favorite quotes here.

get married and we’ll keep working on it.’ I’m still working with certain couples now in marriage.” That’s one highlight: Therapy or couples counseling is an option even after you sign the marriage license. “Being open and honest with the professionals guiding you will only beneﬁt you in the long run,” Cherney says. “Your clergy and counselors are there to help. And the discussions should continue outside of the counseling environment. I always stress that the wedding is one day but the marriage is forever.” It’s also worth acknowledging that there are barriers to entry even in the mental health space. Professional therapy and counseling, though in high demand, isn’t accessible to everyone. “There’s a barrier to therapy,” says Markman. “It can include cost or stigma. People who can seek and receive couples therapy are a privileged and primarily white group. Some couples want it, but can’t afford it.” Costs can range anywhere from $50 to $200 per hour, according to therapy app Talkspace. If you are fortunate enough to have access to premarital counseling, the data is clear: With guided help, you and your partner can be even more assured about your union as you sign that marriage license.

About the Experts Pankhuri Aggarwal, PhD, is the Madigan Family Clinical Research Postdoctoral Fellow at The Family Institute at Northwestern University.

Rabbi Elyssa Cherney is the founder and CEO of Tacklingtorah, based in Philadelphia. Christiana Ibilola Awosan, PhD, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist is the Associate Professor in the Marriage & Family Therapy Program at Iona University.

Howard Markman, PhD, is the codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies in Denver and the founder of the Prevention and Relationship Education Program (PREP), PREPinc .com.

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CULINARY TRADITIONS

Fare Play GR AB YOUR U TENSILS . WE BRE AK DOWN

MOU THWATERING AND ME ANINGFUL DISHES SERVED AT WEDDINGS AROUND THE WORLD. BY CHAPELLE JOHNSON I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y N ATA L I E R O M I N E

Let’s Keep Eating Want to know about other delicious wedding dishes? Scan here.

Food is a vehicle for honoring one’s culture and heritage on the wedding day. Cultural cuisine often has fascinating origins that help couples share their stories and backgrounds. From cocktail-hour bites to after-party snacks, there are numerous ways to showcase crowd-pleasing heritage-inspired foods. Feast your eyes on wedding food traditions from cultures around the world, and consider incorporating these ﬂavorful dishes into your celebration.

Jollof (pronounced jow-luhf) rice is one of the most popular foods Wolof people serve at celebratory events. Many other West African groups have also created their own versions over time. Fun fact: Nigerians have multiple renditions of jollof rice. A notable one is “Party Jollof,” made for big gatherings and weddings, explains Abayomi (Mariam) Are, head chef of Mariam’s Kitchen in New York City (@ MariamsKitchenNYC). “It’s very rich in ﬂavor and has a smoky and semi-burnt taste,” she says. “This tomato-stew-based delicacy is a staple in every Nigerian home and most African communities. It’s usually made with red bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, spices and meat or chicken stock.” The savory and rich dish, which can be a side or an entrée, is typically eaten with steamed plantains and a protein. Historians believe it spread out from Senegal and Gambia during colonial times, between 1860 and 1940. We also acknowledge “The Great Jollof

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Rice Debate,” sometimes called the “Jollof Wars.” Are explains how this playful dispute came to be. “The ‘Jollof Wars’ started a few years ago as West African food, culture and entertainment became more popular. One thing we West Africans all have in common is jollof rice, and even though each country cooks it differently, there have been several disputes in the US over who makes it the best.” Are tells us that the cooking method varies by group. Ghanaians use jasmine rice, Nigerians use parboiled rice and Senegalese people use broken long-grain rice. But one thing is certain: Jollof rice is a way for the tobe-weds’ heritage to shine and for their guests to connect to them—which is all that matters.

GETTY IMAGES

West African Jollof Rice

TOP: GETTY IMAGES; BOTTOM: SHUTTERSTOCK

Brazilian Feijoada Feijoada (pronounced fey-jwah-ah-dah) is considered Brazil’s national dish and has a place at practically every gathering. It’s enjoyed at weddings, birthdays and graduations across all levels of Brazilian society. The traditional stew is mostly made of black beans and pork. It’s typically served with “white rice, collard greens sauteed in garlic and olive oil, orange slices and delicious toasted cassava ﬂour (or farofa, in Portuguese),” says Cassiano Fabris, owner of Brazilian Bowl Fresh Grill in Chicago (@BowlBrazilian). “The dish has its roots in Portuguese cuisine, and the term ‘feijoada’ derives from the Portuguese word ‘feijão,’ which means ‘bean.’”

When it was first created in Portugal, the dish was a simple stew with white beans and various types of meat, which were usually leftover or inexpensive cuts. With Portugal’s colonization of Brazil, its culinary traditions followed, but were “influenced significantly by Brazil’s enslaved Africans. They contributed their culinary knowledge, including their use of black beans, which were not commonly used in the Portuguese version of feijoada. They also introduced various cooking techniques and seasonings. Over time, the dish began to evolve in Brazil by incorporating black beans and a wide range of pork cuts,” Fabris explains.

French Croquembouche Croquembouche (pronounced crow-cuhmboosh) is the traditional French wedding cake. “It’s a tower of pastry puffs ﬁlled with pastry cream (vanilla is the most common), held together with caramelized sugar. It often features nougatine, a nut brittle, which is used for decor and as structural reinforcement,” says Nancy LaTart, owner and principal planner of Fête in France (@ FeteinFrance). And for our linguistics nerds out there, croquembouche is a French portmanteau that translates to “crunch in the mouth.” According to LaTart, there are three origin stories for the croquembouche. “The

original inspiration is said to come from a Middle Eastern delicacy called the ‘tower of paradise.’ As for its popularity in France, some link it to the reign of King Louis XIV and others to Marie-Antoine Carême, an important 19th-century French pastry chef.” Historians believe that croquembouche was a centerpiece at every royal function, including weddings, during the years of the French monarchy. Now it’s becoming a symbol of elegance and reﬁnement.

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Chinese Peking Duck Peking (pronounced Pee-king) duck is a roast game dish known for its lacquered crispy skin. Why is Peking duck at Chinese weddings? Xin Huang, a wedding planner and founder of Le Petite Privé in New York City (@LePetitePrive), explains, “Ducks are a common symbol of ﬁdelity in Chinese culture, since they were thought to mate for life.” Huang adds that even the dish’s presentation is symbolic: “Peking duck is served whole to represent peace and completeness within the marriage.” As part of the service, “the duck is sliced [tableside] by a skilled chef who will attach a piece of the crispy skin with every slice of meat. Then the chef plates a beautiful fan of the meat with condiments, like sweet bean sauce, and pancakes.” Some of the most common sides are leeks, cucumbers and pickled vegetables. Now let’s get into the origin and history of this meal. “Peking duck is a decadent dish that originated in the 13th century. That’s over 700 years of deliciousness. It was

originally served out of a food cart,” Huang says. Food historians believe the delicacy was created in Hangzhou, but it was named after Beijing, the new capital at the time that was then romanized to Peking. “After the 14th century, Peking duck was brought into the new imperial palace. Since then, there have been slight variations on the ovens they’re roasted in, but the preparations and recipes are still very similar to when they ﬁrst served it in the 13th century,” Huang notes.

Mexican wedding cookies are sweet treats with a nutty, buttery taste and a powdered sugar exterior that melts in your mouth. “In Mexico, they are a popular part of the dessert offerings during many weddings,” says Tatiana Parra, head of product at La Monarca Bakery & Cafe in Los Angeles (@LaMonarcaBakery). She adds that the cookies are also popular year-round in Mexico and the US, especially during the holiday season because of their resemblance to snowballs. “The type of nuts vary from almonds to pecans to pistachios to walnuts, but we use pecans,” she says. “Without eggs in the recipe to bind them, Mexican wedding cookies have the consistency of a crumbly shortbread instead of a chewy sugar cookie.” These sweets look similar to Russian tea cakes, kourabiedes (Greek cookies that have egg yolks and brandy or orange juice) and qurabiya (Arab cookies with egg whites). With so many look-alikes across the globe, it’s hard to trace the origin and history of Mexican wedding cookies speciﬁcally. Some people think they originated with medieval Arab bakers and, because of expanded trade routes, eventually made

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their way to Europe. It’s said that European nuns brought the mouthwatering recipe to Mexico or that Spanish conquistadors did the same for 16th-century North America. Most assume the cookie’s name is due to its occasional appearance at some Mexican weddings. “As early as the 17th century, similar cookies were popular in Northern Europe, but modern-day Mexican wedding cookie recipes began to appear in cookbooks in the 1950s. Food historians have noted that during the Cold War, Russian tea cakes started disappearing from American cookbooks, and wedding cookies began to appear. It could be a coincidence, but no one knows for sure,” Parra explains. At this point, the cookies have dozens of names, and bakers can’t agree on one. One thing they all agree on is how tasty these desserts are. No matter what you call it, as long as the recipe calls for nuts, butter, powdered sugar, ﬂour and vanilla extract, it’ll please any crowd.

GETTY IMAGES

Mexican Wedding Cookies

BAKE WITH US

IF ALL THIS TALK ABOU T FOOD HAS YOUR STOMACH GRUMBLING , WE HAVE JUST THE THING FOR YOU. TRY THIS SUPER- E ASY ME XICAN WEDDING COOKIE RECIPE PARR A SHARED WITH US . IT MAKES ABOU T THREE DOZEN SMALL COOKIES AND TAKES ABOU T AN HOUR TO MAKE .

Ingredients ➜ 1 cup coarsely chopped pecans ➜ 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature ➜ 2 cups confectioner’s sugar, divided ➜ 2 cups all-purpose ﬂour ➜ ½ teaspoon salt

Time to Cook Like a Pro 1.

Toast the chopped pecans over low heat in a pan for 5 minutes, until they are fragrant and slightly browned. (Do not add any oil.) Remove from heat and let cool. Using a food processor, pulse the nuts into a coarse consistency. Stop when you achieve a crumbly, sand-like texture. Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and ¾ cup of confectioner’s sugar on medium speed until light and ﬂuffy.

In a large bowl, mix the ﬂour and salt. 5. With the mixer on low speed, alternate adding in the ﬂour and pecans slowly until evenly mixed. 6. Remove the dough from the mixer and transfer it to a piece of plastic wrap. Cover and chill for at least one hour in your refrigerator. 7. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. 8. Form the chilled dough into 1-inch balls. Roll each in a bowl of the remaining 1 ¼ cup of confectioner’s sugar and place on the parchment-lined cookie sheet. 9. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes or until the edges are slightly browned, and allow cookies to cool on the sheet for 10 minutes. 10. Roll the warm cookies in the confectioner’s sugar again before cooling them on a wire rack. Store leftover cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 7 days. Enjoy! 4.

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PHOTO CREDIT

JOURNALING

Get the Picture Wedding planner Marcy Blum walks you through the exact exercise she shares with her roster of A-list couples and clients. BY ESTHER LEE I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y A B B Y M C C A R T I N

Where does one even get going with wedding planning? Of course, you’ll want to start with your ideal vision for the day, but manifesting requires action. One of the most practical ways to begin is by walking through our prompts below. “Spending is one of the first conversations you should broach after your engagement,” says Blum. “Generally, people are surprised at what things cost, which is why it’s important to have priorities laid out.” It’s also key to be open-minded about your future spouse’s dream day. “You may be surprised at what’s most important to your partner,” she adds. “Blend their vision with your own, incorporating it into one [cohesive concept]…Also, a great practice for marriage.”

1. When the final song plays, what do we want guests to walk away feeling?

2. What do we each want to spend? What’s our budget?

3. What do we each consider nonnegotiables for the event?

4. What parties or weddings have we been to that we loved or, conversely, didn’t like? Why?

5. What elements of the wedding do we want to prioritize?

About the Planner Marcy Blum is an award-winning event planner who’s orchestrated weddings for people like LeBron James, Kevin and Kate Love, and Bill and Melinda Gates’ daughter Jenn Gates. With 38 years of experience in the events business, Blum had an exciting announcement of her own in November 2023. She and her partner of 22 years, Destin Coleman, married in an intimate St. Barts wedding before a select group of loved ones. Follow her @MarcyBlum.

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se x WHETHER IT’S PRENUPTIAL SEX THERAPY OR ORGASMIC MANIFESTATIONS, FOLKS ARE RE-EDUCATING THEMSELVES ABOUT THE SEXUAL WELLNESS VENN DIAGRAM. BY JAMIE CUCCINELLI PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOSEPHINE SCHIELE STYLING BY VICTORIA PETRO-CONROY

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Sexual Self-Care 101 We get that there’s a connotation that goes along with wedding magazines when it comes to sex. (Read: the spicy wedding night and honeymoon sex how-tos.) But that’s just not the world we live in. It used to be novel to simply have frank discussions about sex, but folks nowadays are so much more open. They’re willing to educate themselves about how to please their partner, how to better please themselves and how sex relates to their own sense of well-being. “Sex education isn’t just about condoms, STIs and fear-mongering about how many sexual partners a person ‘should’ have,” says Carly S., pleasure educator and product manager of online sex-toy store Spectrum Boutique. “It often overlooks gender expression, the emotional and psychological aspects of relationships and the fact that there’s more to sex than penetration. Not to mention information about consent, pleasure and normalizing people’s different experiences.” Fortunately, adult educational platforms and apps are offering up blueprints to our most intimate selves and how we interact and support our romantic partners. “Purchasing a sex toy is not enough,” says Mariah Freya, half of the married couple behind online sex-ed platform Beducated. “It’s crucial to understand our bodies, desires, and how we can experience pleasure, whether alone or with a partner. Pleasurebased sex education is invaluable.” (Virtual classes from Beducated include tantric massage for queer bodies, expert techniques for fingering vulvas and how to effectively set boundaries.) Other lessons being learned on and offline? How to embrace sexuality as a cornerstone of self-care. In recent years, we’ve seen sex toys that could double as modern art pieces, wellness companies shilling CBD-infused lubes and arousal-boosting oils, and holistic-cum-erotic routines. “Taking care of your sexual health is not separate from taking care of your mental and physical health,” says Carly S. “With a sexual self-care routine, you’re intentionally taking time to nurture yourself.” The initiative aims to relieve stress, flood

your brain with feel-good hormones and promote positive sensory regulation and self-love. Practices like audio erotica, meditating before a sex sesh, and manifesting during orgasm (yes, it’s a thing—see TikToker Sarah Perl’s enticing “O Method”) all fall under the ever-broadening umbrella of sultry self-care. To get yourself started, turn masturbation into an event. Try doing breath work in the nude or while wearing lingerie (whatever turns you on most!), soothing aromatherapy, journaling about sexual fantasies or an honest-to-goodness gemstone dildo (see the next page). Or use mindfulness practices like meditating before or during partnered sex. Hopefully, what’s to come (besides you, if that’s what you’re after…) is a better understanding of your sexual self and how you want to define intimacy and relationships. To get there, you’ll want to understand how you experience pleasure, which is fluid, individualized and adaptable, notes Carly S. “The key is to prioritize your well-being, pleasure and connection with your own sexuality…” she says. “Societal expectations often dictate a narrow definition of intimacy and pleasure. When individuals and couples challenge these norms, it can open communication between partners about their desires and needs, and lead to an authentic, fulfilling connection and a satisfying relationship.”

84% OF AMERICANS ASKED FELT RELAXED AND LESS STRESSED AFTER HAVING AN ORGASM; SOME 20% OF AMERICANS WERE STILL ENJOYING THE BENEFITS OF THEIR ORGASM UP TO 24 HOURS LATER AND ALMOST 6% UP TO TWO DAYS LATER. — THE LELO ECONOMY OF PLEASURE REPORT 2023

REQUIRED READING

(...AND VIEWING) Turn in your old-school sex-ed textbooks for these updated, inclusive and ohso-sexy resources. Beducated

Lover

Beducated.com. Beducated is a pleasure-centered online sexual education platform that offers over 100 courses that cover everything from self-pleasure to cunnilingus to pegging. Its videos and advice are explicit without objectifying anyone. Plus, they also cover other areas of intimacy, relationships and wellness—such as the ins and outs of menstrual cycles, dealing with rejection, and the foundations of online dating. From $200/year.

Lover.io This therapy and wellness coaching app aims to address common intimacy issues like low desire and anorgasmia (infrequent or absent orgasms). It offers personalized, weeks-long plans that include couples therapy techniques and intimacybuilding guidance and tools. Thanks to its doctordesigned exercises, all approved by the app’s team of clinical psychologists, Lover promises to reset your sex life in eight to 12 weeks—and all from the privacy of your own bedroom. From $120/year.

The TL;DR of it all? Your emotional, physical and sexual well-being, as well as the health of your partnership, are interconnected. THE KNOT

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Good Vibes 1 & 2. Vesper 2 Vibrator Necklace The new-and-improved version of this sex toy/ fashion accessory hybrid features a pretty pendant on a gleaming chain— oh, and a surprisingly strong, multi-mode (and extra-quiet) clitoral vibrator. (Also pictured is the brand’s bracelet-handcuffs duo set, for those of you interested in exploring some sophisticated kink.) Bracelet, from $78, necklace, from $98, LoveCrave.com

of the last time you were checking off high school sex-ed classes, the acts are growing in popularity among bona fide adults. But along with many things in your life (your living sitch, career, your current partner), there have been some upgrades since then. Exhibit A: this squishy silicone bloom meant for grinding external stimulation. $56, SpectrumBoutique.com

4. Le Wand Crystal G Wand Rose Quartz Curved Dildo The most whimsical of sexual splurges, this rose quartz dildo’s bulbous tip targets the G-spot, while a textured silicone ring provides external stimulation. $250, SpectrumBoutique.com 5. Eva Couples Vibrator While sex toys can’t replace your partner, they certainly can make intimacy with said partner even better! The Eva is an unintrusive petite vibrator that’s designed to be worn within the vulva, leaving hands free to do lots of other fun things. $140, Dame.com

3. Uberrime Rosae Rose Silicone Grinding Toy While humping and grinding may remind you

Shop expertly curated trending toys and products that put self-care at the forefront.

6. Bellesa Pebble Ultra discreet, ergonomically built and pretty in pink, the Pebble combines pressure-wave suction stimulation and vibration for an irresistible two-in-one combo. It’s also designed to feel like a natural extension of your body, making it ideal for both single and partner play. $89, BBoutique.co

7. Cone by Bellesa Inspired by that cool-girl interior design aesthetic, this waterproof vibrator

is pretty enough to leave out on a night stand. More importantly, its fluted silhouette allows it to seamlessly slip from erogenous zone to erogenous zone, all while vibrating at 10 various speeds. $39, BBoutique.co 8. Lelo Dot Vibrator Pinpoint pleasure with this external vibrator, designed with a soft, bendable tip and innovative elliptical oscillations. The eight pulsating vibration patterns and motions stimulate without numbing, opening up the potential for multiple orgasms. $179, Lelo.com

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HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS A PERSON ‘SHOULD’ HAVE.

SEX EDUCATION ISN’T JUST ABOUT CONDOMS, STIs AND FEAR-MONGERING ABOUT

Finding Stillness in the Sheets Real talk: We’re all multitaskers to some extent. After all, how would one possibly handle a career, a romantic relationship, saving for a home, wedding planning—whatever may be going on in your life right now—without multitasking? Being wholly present in your body during sex and masturbation, though, can deepen intimacy with your partner and tune you into what brings you pleasure. We asked Beducated, the largest online platform for sex education, to share tips and mindfulness techniques for finding stillness between the sheets—whether you’re tangled up in them with a partner or blissfully burrowing solo.

01 . SE T THE MOOD Think of your five senses as portals for both giving and receiving pleasure. Give ’em some love by creating a cozy, intimate atmosphere before masturbation or sex. Dim the lights, pull out the candles and play soft, sensual music—anything that stimulates your senses will take your pleasure to a deeper level. Clear the space of distractions and leave the phone in another room to ensure you are fully present and focused.

silence the internal chatter and remain present. Solo: Close your eyes and take a couple of minutes for some deep, nourishing belly breaths. Focus on breathing all the way down to your pelvic floor. Partnered: Begin by sitting face to face, close enough to hold hands. Take a few minutes to synchronize your breath. Inhale and exhale deeply together, allowing yourselves to relax and connect on a deeper level.

02 . CONNECT WITH

03. E YE G A ZING

As multitaskers, we can often become disassociated from our bodies. Breath work can help you

This practice can help strengthen the emotional bond between partners or promote self-love. Solo: Take a mirror and gaze

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deeply into your eyes, trying to see the beauty within yourself. If negative thoughts arise, simply notice them without judgment and let them pass. If comfortable, begin to touch erogenous zones or add a vibrator. Partnered: Maintain eye contact with each other for an extended period. Take turns sharing appreciation or compliments, and really take in your partner’s presence and beauty.

04 . MINDFUL TOUCH Be sure to use a warm massage oil that’s safe on genitals. Solo: Engage in slow and mindful touch, exploring your body with curiosity and sensitivity. Mindfully massage your whole body, treating it as a self-love ritual that nourishes your skin. Don’t forget your erogenous zones (throat, thighs, nipples…) before approaching your genitals. Partnered: Consider dedicating separate set times to fully focus on one another. Say something like, “Let’s make tonight all about you, and then tomorrow morning all about me.” This can help you both fully relax and support your unique sexual response times. Then, slowly and intentionally explore each other’s bodies, communicating what feels good and which areas need extra love. Pay attention to different textures, sensations and responses from your partner.

05. HE IGHTE N PHYS ICAL SE NSATION

Introduce tactile toys into foreplay and sex, and explore new ways to level up physical sensation: Pop a glass, crystal or metal dildo in the fridge before playtime for a cooling effect. Love how a grinding toy feels rubbing against your bod? Add a warming or cooling toy-safe lubricant.

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Play to your sense of auditory arousal by creating a masturbation playlist. Experiment with white noise or scenic sounds—or even audio erotica. And whether you’re on your own or with a partner, don’t be shy about making noise: Give yourself over to the sounds (think about those guttural “Ahhhs” you hear during a meditation class). This stimulates your sense of hearing and acts as a barometer of where you are on your pleasure scale. Turned on by the scent of your partner’s skin? Inhale their wrist or neck deeply to ground yourself in the moment. You can also try associating a certain scent with sex and pleasure by lighting a specific candle or blend of incense when masturbating or making love.

07. FORGE T ABOUT TH E FINISH LINE Get into the practice of prioritizing pleasure: Schedule a slow sex sesh without the goal of having an orgasm. This way, you can take your time experimenting and worshipping your own or a partner’s body with sensual touch and sensation (in lieu of rushing towards orgasm or viewing it as the finish line). Try new positions and techniques to elevate pleasure. Adapt and improvise based on preferences and comfort. Enjoy the journey of discovering.

YOU’RE PUTTING THE SENSE BACK IN SENSUALITY.

Sound Effects It might be time to retire your go-to sleep playlist. Audio erotica offers sensual audio narratives that aim to tantalize both mind and body. “Research from the Kinsey Institute shows that 90% of women use ‘mental framing,’ or scenario conjuring, to get turned on,” explains Gina Gutierrez, cofounder of audio erotica app Dipsea. “Imagination is an important part of a great, healthy sex life.” Pop in those AirPods and discreetly listen to sexy narratives that feature both straight and LGBTQ+ content, as well as including people with different bodies and abilities—or cue ’em up on your speaker and listen with a partner. “Listeners tell us we help them cultivate self-love, desire and confidence; move on from past trauma or shame; verbalize what they like and want in the bedroom; and discover new intimacy with their partners,” Gutierrez says. “Your desire isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s a fire to be stoked. Audio erotica is one of the best ways to stoke your desire.” From $60/year.

Scan to discover more sex Qs on TheKnot.com.

Talk Pillow What do you tend to do when you masturbate? —Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST (Certified Sex Therapist)

It might be really hot if we tried... Would you be open to that? Remember how the only way to get a question answered in school was to raise your hand? Something similar can be said of your sex life: You’ll only get your questions answered if you ask! Communication is the foundation of stable, healthy relationships—and no topic should be off the table ahead of huge relationship milestones. Like, you know, getting married. Enter premarital sex therapy. While family planning, finances and religion are often covered in typical premarital counseling sessions, sex therapy provides the specific space to discuss sexuality and intimacy with your partner or soon-tobe spouse. As Courtney Padjen, PhD, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) of the Minneapolis-based Centre for Sexual Wellness explains, “Couples commonly do not have a shared language around the topic of sex and intimacy—some will avoid the conversation completely. Working with a sex therapist prior to getting married can give couples the confidence to have these conversations and show up in their relationship as their authentic selves.” We challenge you to start having those important convos RN, by asking your partner these expert-backed questions:

—Clinical psychologist and sex therapist Elizabeth Perri, PsyD, CST

When do you feel closest to me? —Marriage, family and sex therapist Becca Hirsch, LMFT, CST

What time of day do you like to have sex? —Zar

What would be a good way for us to initiate sex? —Perri

What allows you to feel most comfortable and present during a sexual encounter? —Hirsch

IT’S CRUCIAL TO UNDERSTAND OUR BODIES, DESIRES, AND HOW WE CAN EXPERIENCE PLEASURE, WHETHER ALONE OR

WITH A PARTNER.

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SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS OFTEN DICTATE A NARROW DEFINITION OF INTIMACY AND PLEASURE.

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More to Love Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD This all-natural arousal oil uses broad-spectrum CBD along with organic botanicals. It enhances pleasure and sensation when applied both internally and externally to the clitoris, labia minora and vagina. $48, ExploreForia .com Carnal Knowledge: Sex Education You Didn’t Get in School Sex educator Zoë Ligon penned this inclusive, judgment-free guidebook to help others enjoy intimacy with conﬁdence. $20, Spectrum Boutique.com

Shine Organic Aloe- and WaterBased Personal Lubricant Packaged in an apothecaryinspired pumptopped bottle, this is lube you can leave by your fave body lotion. Thoughtfully crafted with organic aloe, the all-natural and pH-balanced formula provides long-lasting moisture during

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sex and can add everyday hydration to your intimate body care routine. $25, GetMaude .com Orgasm Glow Herbal Blend Dietary Supplement Recognizing that aspects of your well-being are mutually dependent on one another, this herbal supplement aims to help

the sexual by addressing the physical. Sometimes a lower sex drive can be the result of diet or a vitamin deﬁciency, so it provides a blend of ingredients and extracts believed to naturally support the libido. OFC, always speak to your doctor before beginning any vitamin supplement. $49, Lelo.com

PERCENT OF WOMEN USE ‘MENTAL FRAMING,’ OR SCENARIO CONJURING, TO GET TURNED ON. Please note: The Knot and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical advice and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a medical professional about your speciﬁc circumstances. This information contained herein is not necessarily exhaustive, complete, accurate or up to date and we undertake no responsibility to update. In addition, we do not take responsibility for information contained in any external links, over which we have no control.

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Beyond the

DITCH THE YARDS OF TULLE. IT’S TIME FOR THE BRIDAL HEADDRESS —AND YOU— TO TAKE CENTER STAGE. PHOTOGRAPHY BY NADYA WASYLKO STYLING BY REBECCA DENNETT

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Dress by Honor; headband by Simone Rocha (from Cloak Wardrobe); earrings by Rebecca Vallance; shoes by Roger Vivier. Set design: background veil by Elie Saab; foreground veil (left) by Nadia Manjarrez Bridal; foreground veil (right) by Viktor & Rolf; bouquet wrap by Area (from Cloak Wardrobe).

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Cape train by Ines Di Santo; trousers by Safiyaa; bobby pins by Jennifer Behr; earrings by Completedworks x TOVE.

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Bra top and trousers by Alberta Ferretti; hat by Ellen Christine Couture; ring by Ashaha; earrings by Yvonne Leon.

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Cape by Francesca Miranda; skirt by Wiederhoeft; earrings by Jennifer Behr.

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Dress by Oscar de la Renta; comb by Lelet New York; bobby pins by Jennifer Behr; ring and earrings by De Beers; mask by Vittorio Ceccoli.

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Dress by Collina Strada; veil by Erickson Beamon; rings by Akaila Reid and Gisel B; earrings by Joanna Laura Constantine; shoes by Roger Viver; gloves by Elie Saab.

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Dress by Mirror Palais; hat by Ellen Christine Couture; rings by Ashley Zhang; earrings by Gisel B. Hair by Anike Rabiu; makeup by Moises Ramirez; nails by Yukie Miyakawa; set design by Elaine Winter; tailoring by Olga Dudnick for Lars Nord Studio; casting by Gil Avertick/Inner Circle; model: Jiri Braxton/IMG Models.

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T R AV E L

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Roy E XPERIENCE

MEDIE VAL MAGIC WITH MODERN UP GR ADES AT THESE FAIRY-TALE DESTINATIONS .

You deserve the best on your honeymoon, so why not celebrate with a stately stay in a palace or castle? These historic properties have been painstakingly restored to their original grandeur and reopened as luxe hotels with trendy restaurants, fabulous spas and staffers who’ll provide exceptional service. VIP tours and exclusive access to estate grounds will truly make you feel like a king or queen. From an opulent mansion at Versailles to a grand Irish castle once owned by the Guinness family, these meticulously preserved hotels are guaranteed to transport you back in time.

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BY JEN MURPHY

al Treatment

CENTURY

CENTURY AIRELLES CHÂTEAU DE VERSAILLES, VERSAILLES, FRANCE Why book: This 13-room

jewel box of a hotel is on the grounds of the Château de Versailles. It offers guests a crowd-free peek into the lives of Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI via private tours before and after visiting hours, and exclusive access to typically off-limits spaces. Other regal perks: a frescoed spa, personal butler and Michelinstarred meals by culinary legend Alain Ducasse. History: Louis XIV’s favorite architect constructed this former private mansion in 1681. In the 1980s, luxury hotel group Airelles returned the building to its Baroque splendor. The meticulous four-year restoration referenced the Versailles archives to recreate the prerevolutionary décor. When to go: Spring and

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NEEMRANA FORT-PALACE, JAIPUR, INDIA Why book: An

architectural marvel, this 78-room heritage hotel spans nine palace wings with 14 levels tiered into the ancient Aravalli hills. Be transported to a bygone era of maharajas as you explore the 25acre grounds where, according to legend, there’s hidden treasure. Hanging gardens, two pools and an Ayurvedic spa make it feel like an oasis just outside of Delhi. History: The descendents of Prithviraj Chauhan III, one of the greatest Rajput rulers, built this imposing fort palace in 1464. By the 1900s, it had fallen into such disrepair that it took four decades to ﬁnd a buyer. A ﬁve-year rehab by hoteliers (including restoration expert Aman Nath) transformed the palace into a grand resort worthy of Bollywood movie shoots.

When to go: The dry season, October through March, brings cool weather and numerous cultural festivals. Room to book: Situated above the palace’s heated pool, the Sutra Mahal honeymoon suite is decorated with erotic paintings and statues inspired by the Kama Sutra. Get in the mood while watching the sunset from the private balcony. From $110. Sutra Mahal suite from $230; NeemranaHotels.com Must-do: The property’s 200-seat amphitheater hosts weekend music and dance performances organized by the nonproﬁt Neemrana Music Foundation.

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autumn are quieter, but the gardens are at their peak in summer. Room to book: The Necker Suite is ornately furnished with chevron parquet flooring, a marble fireplace, chandeliers and a four-poster bed, but the crowning jewel is the claw-foot bathtub, which has views of the palace and Orangery garden. From $2,145. Necker Suite from $16,000; Airelles.com Must-do: The MarieAntoinette Day package pampers couples with a butler-drawn bubble bath, breakfast overlooking the Orangery, massages, a VIP tour of Domaine de Trianon and more. Period costumes are available for couples who want to play the part at a macaron-filled afternoon tea (from $2,100).

CENTURY CASTELLO DI VICARELLO,

TUSCANY, ITALY Why book: This rustic,

utterly romantic ninesuite castle immerses guests in Tuscany’s lesser-known region of Maremma (aka its Wild West). The property’s 100 acres offer endless views of vineyards, olive groves and gardens, and nearly everything you eat and drink is harvested on-site. Guests can enjoy the bounty and participate in cooking classes, wine

tastings and the olive harvest. History: Originally constructed in 1112, this medieval castle was attacked numerous times and destroyed by the emperor of Spain in the 13th century. Carlo and Aurora Baccheschi Berti were living between Milan and Bali when they stumbled on the ruins. The couple spent 12 years restoring the property, which they initially used as a holiday home. In 2003, they turned it into a hotel and run it with their three sons. When to go: September and October bring cooler temperatures and goldenhued landscapes. Fall also coincides with truffle season (join a hunt for $500 per couple or savor the earthy shavings over

pasta) and the wine harvest. Castello di Vicarello hosts tastings amidst its nearly 15 acres of organically grown vines. Room to book: The new Spa Suite has a secluded,

stand-alone location within the castle gardens. Honeymooners can enjoy their own private steam room and sauna, plus an alfresco hot tub constructed from an oak wine barrel. A spacious terrace provides views of the estate vineyards and Mediterranean coast—the perfect spot for sunset aperitifs. From $840. Spa Suite from $1,740; CastelloDiVicarello.com Must-do: Hire the estate’s vintage Fiat 500 and make the hour-long drive to the historic city of Siena. Stop at Zest Ristorante & Wine Bar for lunch, then continue along the Tuscan coast (from $250 for a half day).

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ASHFORD CASTLE, GALWAY, IRELAND Why book: It’s impossible

not to feel like a royal when staying at this opulent 83-room castle. The interior could double as a museum, showcasing original art and antiques (including a 19thcentury suit of armor), and the grounds—350 acres of woodlands and manicured gardens—are stunning. Don’t miss afternoon tea, a castle tradition since 1868. History: Built in 1228 by the Anglo-Norman House of Burke, the castle has passed through many aristocratic owners, most notably the Guinness family, who added two Victorian extensions and a veritable forest. It was reimagined as a destination hotel in 1939. In 2015, a $75 million renovation by Red Carnation Hotels added five-star touches like an award-winning spa, heated bathroom floors and a wellness center. When to go: The changing leaves of fall provide the perfect backdrop for honeymoon photos, and cooler temperatures are

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ideal for on-site activities such as falconry, horseback riding, and fishing and boating on Loch Corrib. Room to book: On the shore of the lake, the standalone boathouse was originally built by the Guinness family and is now the most secluded suite on the estate grounds. It’s been lovingly restored with lavish touches including a Murano glass chandelier, marble-lined bathroom and original artwork by French painter Louis Icart. A dedicated butler can arrange a sunset dinner on the pier. From $560. Boathouse from $3,240; AshfordCastle .com Must-do: Meet the region’s most talented food artisans through the hotel’s Taste of West Ireland experience. Your day might start at the apiary of a secondgeneration beekeeper, continue with a seafood foraging adventure and culminate at a craft distillery (from $3,190).

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HIRADO CASTLE, NAGASAKI, JAPAN Why book: Japan’s first-ever castle

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Scan here for our full list of castles and historic properties around the world.

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PARADOR DE GRANADA, ANDALUCIA, SPAIN Room to book: Tucked away in the

Why book: Wake up on the romantic

two-story Kaiju Yagura Watchtower, the castle’s sole guest room is a showcase for local craftsmanship, with straw tatami mats, porcelain dishes and a custom mural all made on Kyushu. Guests are treated to a chef-prepared Japanese breakfast and a nine-course dinner in the suite’s dining room. The best views are from the bathroom, which has three floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Hirado Bay. From $4,481; Hirado-Castle.jp Must-do: The castle is the only place in Japan where visitors can observe the 17th-century warrior tea ceremony known as Chinshinryu. The ritual is held on-site in the Kanuntei Teahouse and pairs green tea with casdoce, a sweet cake.

grounds of UNESCO World Heritage– listed Alhambra, a complex of Moorish and Christian palaces on a hilltop above Granada. Off-hours access lets guests snap touristfree photos of the intricate Islamic architecture. The white-tablecloth restaurant highlights Andalusian and Moorish flavors, as well as Spanish wines. History: One of Spain’s most indemand paradors (government-run hotels) started as a walled citadel. It later became the palace of a Nasrid prince and was converted into a Christian monastery in 1493. When to go: The shoulder seasons of late spring and early fall are still warm enough to enjoy the beach, and fewer crowds make it easier to score restaurant reservations. Room to book: All 40 rooms feature terra-cotta floors and vintage rugs from the Alpujarras district, just south of Granada. Request a junior suite with a jacuzzi tub and double balconies overlooking the complex. From $310; Paradores.es Must-do: The city of Granada is just a 15-minute walk downhill. Explore the monasteries and cathedrals of the historic quarter, then catch a flamenco show at Zambra Maria la Canastera in the Sacromonte quarter (from $25; FlamencoGranada.org).

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stay is located on the westernmost tip of Kyushu, Japan’s third-largest island with beautiful beaches, mountains, hot springs and superb tonkotsu ramen. Guests get exclusive after-hours access to the castle’s on-site museum and can experience cultural ceremonies like Hirado Kagura, a spirit purifying dance. History: Feudal lord Shigenobu Matsura commissioned this hillside castle (also known as Kameoka Castle) in 1599 and burned it down not long after completion. His son, the 6th lord of Hirado, enlisted over 500,000 laborers to rebuild it. The entire grounds were reconstructed in 1962, and the castle began welcoming overnight guests in 2017. When to go: The castle grounds transform into a sea of pink cherry blossoms in spring. On the property you’ll find a unique twice-blooming varietal, plus a garden of azaleas.

Please note: Local laws may restrict service availability to all. Visit the Equality Index (equaldex.com/ equality-index) for more information.

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WISE WORDS

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. — Maya Angelou

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L E AV E YO U R WO RLD BEHIND At the edge of the Lesser Antilles, nestled between two seas, lies Saint Vincent and the Grenadines: A lush tucked-away island, ripe for discovery.

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