The Knot Winter 2024 by The Knot

SINGER ALLY BROOKE ON FINDING HER FOREVER EXPERT TIPS FOR JOINT PROPOSALS

The Time to Celebrate Is Now 2024

Is Now Time to

IS THE NEW SEXY

Joint proposals are trending, and we are here for it.

What involves food, family and a ﬁnance department? Multigenerational catering companies.

We demystify the world

THE WEDDING — DECONSTRUCTED

Trendy couples are pulling the wedding timeline apart.

WEDDING DIARIES

Our columnist, planner Jove Meyer, unravels the complexities of family ties.

62 A DATE TO ALWAYS CELEBRATE

Honor your many relationship milestones with anniversary gifting ideas from our editors.

POP THE QUESTIONS

We consulted therapists for revelatory questions to ask your future spouse.

68 WILL YOU BE MY… Consider this your guide to picking your (wedding) party people.

120 SHOOT FOR THE MOON Lately, couples are opting for brief minimoons followed by longer mega-moons. Here’s the when, where and how.

Ally Brooke is getting married!

Dress by Viktor & Rolf; shoes by

Dress Viktor shoes

Roger Vivier earrings b ring and Ally’s

Best YES Ever Best Ever

FASHION & BEAUTY

GOING (BACK) TO THE CHAPEL

Our engaged cover star Ally Brooke shines in bedazzled bridal looks.

106

Our cover star Brooke shines in looks CODES

DRESS CODES— DECODED

We break down every type of guest attire.

114 RING POP!

Put a ring on it—but not just any old band. STYLE & PLANNING 16

EDITORS’ PICKS

Say “ciao” to these European honeymoon pieces and multipurpose registry ideas.

26 SAY ANYTHING

Here’s how to tackle sticky wedding conversations with ease.

We break down every type of guest attire Put a on it but not any old band 30 WE HEREBY DECREE In the era of “you do LOVE

you,” is it too much to ask your guests to follow speciﬁc wedding rules?

34 DOWN THE AISLE OR DOWN PAYMENT?

How about both? We address the marriage or mortgage debate once and for all.

38 INTROVERT “I DOS”

We break down planning for introverts with guidance from a mental

PETALS AND PONIES

Equestrian accents pair with “secret garden”

accents pair with “secret vibes in Virginia

TURKISH DELIGHT

One couple’s destination wedding in Istanbul honored their family ﬁrst.

TEXAS HOLD ’EM

Wonder what the wedding of a professional stationery designer looks like? 94

CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

One couple’s joke turned into a dreamy Vegas elopement.

We break down from a mental health expert. One turned into a elopement

9 ED LETTER

THE SEASON’S INGREDIENT

WISE WORDS

Ring: Talisman cocktail diamond ring by De Beers.

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Lauren Kay

EDITORIAL OPERATIONS MANAGER Meesha Diaz Haddad

LIFESTYLE

EDITOR, ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITY Sarah Hanlon

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Emily Rumsey

ASSISTANT EDITOR Alison Meehan

STRATEGY, OPERATIONS & SPECIAL PROJECTS

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Nathalie Kirsheh

DEPUTY EDITOR Esther Lee

PLANNING & STYLE

SENIOR EDITOR Hannah Nowack

EDITOR Cathryn Haight

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Chapelle Johnson

DIRECTOR, DIGITAL CONTENT STRATEGY MaryKate Callahan

DIRECTOR, MARKETING & EDITORIAL OPERATIONS Samantha Langabeer

SENIOR MANAGER, CONTENT STRATEGY Emily Platt

CONTENT STRATEGY LEAD, LIFESTYLE Emily Dumas

CONTENT STRATEGY LEAD, FASHION Nicole Seligman

CONTENT STRATEGY LEAD, PLANNING Taylor Whitten LEAD, CONTENT PRODUCTION Julie Le Blanc

CONTENT PRODUCTION ASSOCIATES Christian Pruitt Doireann Mangan Nicole Duddy

SOCIAL MEDIA & TALENT

SENIOR MANAGER, SOCIAL MEDIA Mina Garagozlo SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Danielle Savoy

SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALISTS Meghan Ho Alli Kennon Kerre Jo Lattanzio

SENIOR MANAGER, INFLUENCERS Heather Kon INFLUENCER SPECIALIST Kimberly Brown

SENIOR MANAGER, COMMUNITY Carolyn Hart

FASHION & BEAUTY

EDITOR Kate Boswell

ASSISTANT FASHION EDITOR Sofia Deeb

VISUALS, PRODUCTION & VIDEO

DESIGNER Ashley Detmering

DIGITAL DESIGNERS Tiana Crispino Natalie Romine

PHOTO EDITOR Lauren Kill

CONTRIBUTING COPY EDITOR Rebecca Dalzell

CONTRIBUTING RESEARCH EDITOR Keith Bearden

EDITORIAL VIDEO MANAGER Kelsey Theisen

BRAND CREATIVE

SENIOR DIRECTOR, VENDOR BRAND & CREATIVE Jeffra Trumpower DIRECTOR, CONSUMER CREATIVE Rishi Magia

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PLEASE NOTE

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Win best dressed (p. 106).

Happy Engagement to these pros!

Brittany Lo of Beautini

Jove Meyer

Skylar Stetten of Stetten Wilson

There’s always a date to celebrate (p. 64).

Go Your Own Way

My husband and I were friends for a decade before we moved out of the friend zone. When we decided to make it forever, I voiced two wishes: a memorableproposal and a bracelet, not a ring. He delivered on both counts. A few weeks after our engagement, he presented me with a ring box, saying he was just too old fashioned not to propose with a diamond. He had his own idea of what a proposal should look like, and I had mine (and yes, I totally lucked out with the guy and two pieces of jewelry).

Turns out there are no rules when it comes to getting engaged. One person can drop to a knee with a sparkler, or you can jointly choose a memorable spot to swap your shared intentions of forever, together (read how three couples did it on page 42). Isn’t that awesome? I’m a sucker for a good proposal story, which was why I was so excited to sit down with our cover star, the singer Ally Brooke. She opened up about how she met her ﬁancé, when she knew he was the real deal and her plans for walking down the aisle next year (page 96).

At The Knot, we think your engagement deserves its own moment, which is why this issue is all about the “yes.” We have amazing rings (page 14) and the boxes to match, and we tackle tricky questions from nosy friends and relatives (page 26)—IYKYK. Need the deﬁnitive answer to how many wedding rules are too many? Turn to page 30. We also broke down all the wedding dress codes so you can have (or be) the best-dressed guests (page 106). We never tire of celebrating love, so we rounded up all the dates that deserve to be honored in your love story (page 62). So what are you waiting for? Let’s party!

— LAUREN KAY, EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Presentation is everything (p. 14).

The Download

AKA THE PLACE WHERE WE SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE OUR OWN STUFF.

THANK YOU TO OUR PARTNERS: Host: The Knot | Planning + Design: Brindle + Oak | Host Property: Viceroy Snowmass, CO | Floral Design: Lace and Lilies | Photography: Afrik Armando | Videography: Sunn Studio | Beauty: LeJeune Artistry | Industry Experts: Megan Grose & Michelle Sutton/Brindle + Oak; Annie Lee/Plannie; Brian Buonassissi/DJ Brian B; Lacey Kala’i & Lisa Lowrie/Lace and Lilies; Pejy Kash/Pejy Kash Events | Glam Lounge Sponsor: Pantene | DJ: DJ Brian B | Live Music: TH Entertainment; Vignette Artists | Off-site Dinner Venue: T-Lazy-7 Ranch | Off-site Dinner Catering: Catering by Design | Off-site Lunch: Aspen Snowmass Buttermilk Cliffhouse | Rentals: Event Rents; One Call for It All | Cake: Gingerly Baked | Linens: Reverie Social | Lighting: Little Mad | Stationery: The Knot | Photo Booth: MiHi Entertainment | Luxury Restroom Rental: The Lavish Loo | Eco-Friendly Candles: Foton | Tent Rental: Sperry Tents Colorado | Sketch Artist: Kelsey Shield Art | Travel Agency: Brian Leahy Destinations | Gifts: Anellabees; Aspen Emporium; Balcony Botanicals; Bask Suncare; BIC Lighters; Boost Oxygen; Charlotte’s Web CBD; Dagne Dover; Hamond’s Candies; Inkbox; Olipop

DESTINATION THE KNOT: Aspen Edition

TEN ENGAGED INFLUENCER COUPLES JOINED THE KNOT FOR A SUMMER GETAWAY IN THE VALLEY, WHERE AN OTHERWORLDLY ITINERARY INSPIRED WEDDING PLANNING.

By Esther Lee

For 10 engaged influencer couples, the descent over the inspiring Colorado Rockies previewed the experiences planned for the next four days in Aspen Snowmass. Little did they know how much insight they’d glean for their upcoming weddings. Then again, the goal of the getaway was to help these to-be-weds get to the heart of planning by tackling challenging topics, like budgets, family dynamics and wedding aesthetics.

Inside the Viceroy Snowmass Resort, guests took in a relaxed, sunny vibe unlike the peak-season bedlam of winter. In rooms with terraces facing trails and Aspen trees, influencers found Dagne Dover bags stocked with welcome goodies. The 10 couples met for the first time and bonded immediately during cocktail hour and a welcome party at NEST, an indoor-outdoor space on-site.

The first full day began with an alfresco breakfast, followed by a panel of wedding experts: Brindle + Oak’s Megan Grose, Lace and Lilies’ Lacey Kala’i and Lisa Lowrie, Brian Buonassissi (aka DJ Brian B), designer Pejy Kash of Pejy Kash Events and planner Annie Lee of Plannie. Topics ranged from family dynamics to why vetting reviews on

Our Experts Above: The Knot led a candid Q&A about wedding planning with a panel of pros.

The Settings Clockwise from top right: Buttermilk Mountain; the tent at T-Lazy-7 Ranch; NEST at Viceroy Snowmass; T-Lazy-7 Ranch’s chuckwagon grounds.

The Knot Vendor Marketplace is a mustdo before hiring pros. “It doesn’t matter if you have a $20,000 wedding, a $200,000 wedding or a $2 million wedding,” Grose emphasized. “The cost is a lot for every couple.” The sunny morning events ended with an activity to help couples define their styles (right).

Dinner that evening was held at the rustic T-Lazy-7 Ranch by Pyramid Peak, where several couples determined that a Western barbecue would be the theme of their future wedding welcome parties. Guests enjoyed a spread of smoked meats and Hatch chile cornbread by Catering by Design, while musicians from Vignette Artists and TH Entertainment performed. The group also frequented MiHi Entertainment’s vintage photo booth.

Overnight rain could have dampened plans the next day, but the pros handled it (like pros). At Buttermilk Mountain, Brindle + Oak pivoted from a luncheon at the peak, now mired by mudslides, to an affair by the ski lifts. After hours of wedding planning speed dating for pros and couples alike, the group sat down for lunch at a serpentine tablescape.

That evening, as staff placed down the final fork below a Sperry Tents–outfitted reception at T-Lazy-7, another storm blew through. As luck would have it, the rain stopped and a faint rainbow appeared moments before arrivals. The dress code for the night was “Bridgerton Chic,” or evening cocktail attire comprised of “personal and intentional toile mod” garb. (We can confirm the couples were the diamonds of the season.) After farewell toasts and dinner, the influencers stormed the dance floor of the venue’s lodge for a set by DJ Brian B. Not a single person stood in the corner for the after-party, especially when “Love Story” by Taylor Swift blared over the speakers.

Refining the Wedding Aesthetic

Brindle + Oak hosted a vision boarding session where each couple pulled images and concepts to create their own wedding vibe. Within 24 hours, our creative partners brought 10 distinctive wedding aesthetics to life. (“Desi Cottagecore” was one such memorable theme.) Each pair took home a custom design brief, a centerpiece by Lace and Lilies, and mini cakes by Gingerly Baked.

Viviane Audi + Jake McIntyre @VivianeAudi

Bonnie Barton + Chris Nordahl

@FlashesofStyle

@Chris_Nordahl_

Alexandra Harper + Lucas England

@Alexandra__Harper @Lucas_K_England

Brooke Hyland + Brian Thalman

@BrookeHyland

Gabby Morrison + Luke Joseph @GabbyMorr @Lukejph

Max Emerson + Andrés Camilo @Maxisms

@AndresCamilo__

Kendahl Landreth + Jordan Myrick

@KendahlLandreth @JordanMyr1ck

Stephanie Pena + Cody Garza

@StephaniePena___ @CodyCGarza

Hannah Claire Blackwell + Ovi Kabir

@Hannah_HCB @OviKabir

Amir Lancaster + Natalie Cortes

@_AmirLancaster_ @NatalieeCortes

Vision to IRL: Jordan and Kendahl’s playful, vintage wedding style; Hannah and Ovi’s “Desi Cottagecore” vibe; Amir and Natalie’s elegant and neutral aesthetic.

The Couples (left): At 9,900 feet at Buttermilk.

Save-These-Dates

your wedding style results

Stick your save-the-dates on magnets too.

A new suite of save-the-date has arrived on The Knot Invitations. From western themes and art to foil on too.

A new suite of save-the-date designs has arrived on The Knot Invitations. From western themes and playlist-inspired art to shimmering foil options, these stationery upgrades are yet another way to humbly ﬂaunt your engagement photos—while getting guests excited for your nuptials.

Does our influencer trip to Aspen have you ready to refine your wedding aesthetic? Thought so. Take action with our Style Quiz. We use AI to provide personalized recommendations for the vibe, venue and vendor recommendations.

So you’re itching to share your engagement story, but you may not have the wedding details set. You can still create your wedding website and update everything as you go, including your registry information. (After all, early wedding gifts are an engagement perk!) story, but you may not have the details set. You can still create your wedding website and as you go, your information. (After all,

Download our app (couples swear by it!) or go online.

Toss your dirty laundry into this discreet and neutral hamper with three compartments. Tota Trio laundry basket,$130,JosephJoseph

Feel like a professional organizer every time you reach for your pots and pans with this durable hack. Tower adjustable pot and lid organizer, $47, Yamazaki

Thetrashneedstogoout.Thankfully, this 12.5-gallon, dual-compartment optionisamultifunctionalmust-have for an organized kitchen. Trash can, $140, Simplehuman

A Clean Slate

CLEAR THE WAY FOR A FRESH PATH TO PLANNING. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT DECLUTTERING BOOSTS YOUR MOOD AND INCREASES PRODUCTIVITY. WE PULLED STYLISH MUST-HAVES FROM THE KNOT REGISTRY. (PSST: START WITH OUR ‘KEEP IT CLEAN’ COLLECTION.)

By Esther Lee

Curbthechaosatyourentryway with this contemporary bench, featuring a drawer for safekeeping your keys, wallet and sunglasses. Maruka faux leather storage bench, $210, Safavieh

This marble jewelry box is more than a simple statement piece — IYKYK, the evil eye is a symbol of protection and peace (for your engagement ring). Flights of Fancy Evil Eye box, $235, Michael Aram

There’s a reason why these clear canisters are on every registry. They’re stackable, easy to access and oh-so-satisfying toopen and close. POP 6-piece steel container set, $113, OXO

We’re a super fun—not to mention knowledgeable—plus-one for your entire wedding journey. Our glossy will light up your mailbox with inspiration, planning tips, sage advice, editors’ shopping picks and more. After all, your wedding RSVPs deserve the company, don’t you think? BONUS: A subscription will save you more than 40 percent off what you’d pay at the newsstand, so that’s actually money in the bank for your honeymoon!

Out

O

1. This memorable presentation is as timeless as your love story. Crescent contour ring, $1,195, GrownBrilliance.com; book ring box, $19, Lillian Rose, Amazon.com

MOST THINK IT’S THE RING THAT MATTERS, BUT THE BOX HOLDS SIGNIFICANCE TOO. IT REPRESENTS A SENSE OF SECURITY AND CAN BE A KEEPSAKE FOR YEARS TO COME. HERE ARE A FEW OPTIONS TO CONSIDER.

By Emily Rumsey

Josephine Schiele

2. A destination proposal calls for a ring box that doubles as a souvenir. Éternal baguette cascade band, $15,800, KatKimFineJewelry .com; ring box, stylist’s own,similar Halcyon Days enamel boxes at ScullyandScully.com

Photography by

3. This sleek and discreet design avoids any suspicious pocket bulk. Emerald labgrown diamond bezel-set with trillion three-stone ring, $4,125, GrownBrilliance .com; wood box, $13, Wishlist, Walmart.com

4. Don’t knock tradition! This option adds timeless elegance to your proposal. Multi-shape blooming ﬂower cocktail ring, $6,635, GrownBrilliance.com; leather ring box, $20, Oirly, Amazon.com

5. Conceal the ring in a matchbox from your ﬁrst date restaurant. (Bonus: It’s free!) Diamond Oasis ring, $7,400, KatKimFineJewelry.com

6. Postproposal, this stylish vanity addition can store all the precious jewelry. The Tillie ring, $7,600, LofJewellery .com; glass heart box, $9, AbleMind, Etsy.com

7. For the ringmaster of your heart. Round diamond spiral single-stone ring, $8,325, GrownBrilliance.com; ring box, stylist’s own

8. Showcase your ring from every angle with this vintage-inspired option. Oval-cut emerald ring with hidden diamond halo, $2,740, GrownBrilliance.com; ring box, $12, Hipiwe, Amazon.com

9. This sturdy design keeps rings safe, even with a mishap-prone ring bearer. Open shield ring in yellow gold and white diamonds, $2,750, ItaJewelry.com; blue velvet ring box, $16, SageSwans, Etsy.com

Rings styled by Rebecca Dennett

By Ashley Detmering

Photography by Josephine Schiele

Ditch that old ﬁle for sustainable, cute and better for your nails

Ditch that old sandpaper ﬁle for something sustainable, cute and better for your nails. Sea Spritz Czech glass nail

$12, BonaFideBeauty com

No mess involved with these press-ons—change your style anytime, anywhere. HZ Velvet press-on nails, $10, OliveandJune.com; Mother of Pearl press-on gel nails, $15, PaintlabBeauty.com

mess these press-ons change your HZ press-on nails,

Get a clean slate without harsh fumes. This polish remover is eco-friendly and packed with vitamins. The Rose Soak nail polish remover, $16, TenOverTen.com a cut

Want cloud-soft hands for your wedding day? Look no further. Hydra’Reset Intensive Recovery glycerin hand mask, $25, FentyBeauty.com

Stick it to boring nails with wedding-themed appliqués. For the Bride nail-art stickers, $8, OliveandJune.com

You won’t ﬁnd a cleaner cut than with these clippers forged by Japanese cutlery masters. Silver nail clipper, $34, Kikuichi.net

Whole nail care means tending to your cuticles between manis. Rose scent cuticle oil, $9 for 1 oz, BlossomBeauty.com

Soft, nourished hands and nails start with regular moisturizing. This lotion comes in a variety of scents and sizes. Orange blossom hand cream, $19 for 2.5 oz, us.PanierdesSens.com

1. Is it a framed work of art or a TV? It’s both. The Frame television, from $1,000, Samsung.com

2. This kitchen staple is part shelf, part knife magnet, and wholly innovative. Shelf, $311, LawaDesign.dk

3. This candle bust is almost too lovely to burn. Marie-Antoinette candle, $180, Trudon.com

4. Level up your next dinner party with handy add-on tools. Stand mixer, $500, pasta attachment, $220, ice cream attachment, $100, KitchenAid.com

5. Everything you need for game night, all in one convenient (and chic) box. 4-in-1 Game set, $130, PotteryBarn.com

6. There’s a reason this pan took TikTok by storm: It’s also a steamer and an oven-safe roaster. Always pan, $150, FromOurPlace.com

7. Tech lovers will adore this clock/speaker/ sound machine triplethreat. Clock, $150, ByLoftie.com

By Hannah Nowack

8. This interchangeable product can function as a vase, diffuser or even a carafe. Aiz carafe, $130, Ozaiz.com

By Rebecca Dennett

1. Lucia sapphire heart, $2,675, LionheartJewelry.com 2. Alexandra gown, $14,990, DanielleFrankelStudio.com 3. Addilyn headband, $195, Ben-Amun.com 4. Isolde dress and jacket, $5,800, KatherineTash.com 5. Daniella hair comb, $345, Ben-Amun.com 6. Crush tiered lace maxi dress, $3,150, Zimmermann.com 7. Lainey S/S top, $350, Sea-NY.com 8. The Electra Set, $4,900, Francesca Miranda,SpinaBride.com

European Honeymoon

By Rebecca Dennett

Trailblazer Bold

Forever One™ Moissanite Engagement Rings for Every Sign

Your zodiac sign says a lot about you—and so should your engagement ring. The Forever One™ moissanite gemstones in Charles & Colvard® rings have unmatched fire and brilliance and come in various cuts and styles to suit every sign’s personality. Check the chart to discover your perfect match, from the trendsetting Aries to the mysterious Scorpio, and shop the rings at Helzberg.

Your zodiac says a lot about you and so should your engagement ring The Forever One™ moissanite in Charles & Colvard come cuts and styles to suit every personality Check the chart to discover your from the Aries to the and the at Helzberg

Say Anything

HOW TO TACKLE STICKY SITUATIONS WITH GOOD COMMUNICATION

By Kim Forrest

It’s one of the inevitabilities of wedding planning: People are going to come to you with weird, awkward or just plain offensive comments and questions. And figuring out how to respond to them can cause unnecessary stress. You don’t want to offend anyone, but it’s essential to get your point across. Fortunately, wedding expert and TikTok sensation Cassie Horrell is here to tell you exactly what to say to turn an unpleasant moment into an empowering one.

“Sometimes, people have no filter when asking questions or giving opinions about your wedding,” Horrell says. “I have some golden rules for couples when they’re confronted with awkward or uncomfortable questions while planning.”

Recite these mantras throughout your engagement:

The only opinions that truly matter about our wedding day belong to me and my partner.

If something doesn’t work for us, or doesn’t feel right, we don’t have to include it in our wedding day.

We’re not obligated to invite someone. We also don’t have to reveal details or decisions about our wedding unless we want to.

(An hour after you get engaged)

AUNT JOAN: When’s the wedding?

YOU:

We just got engaged and plan to enjoy our engagement before diving into wedding planning. We’ll share details once we’re ready.

Cassie Horrell

Director of events at the Heinz History Center, co-owner of Clink’92 mobile bar and founder of Wedding Pro Cass Planning. @WeddingProCass

UNCLE BILL:

Wow, that’s a big ring. How much did it cost?

YOU:

I love your pants, what size are they? Just kidding. I love my ring too! My partner did such a fabulous job picking it out.

DAD: Why didn’t you invite Great-Aunt Susan?

YOU:

We wanted our wedding to be filled with family members who are active in our lives, and we don’t see or talk to GreatAunt Susan. We’re hoping we’ll get to visit with her at the next family reunion.

(At the wedding)

COUSIN JEFF:

Hey, just letting you know I didn’t like the people at my table, so I’m just going to move my chair and sit with my friends.

YOU:

Please don’t adjust your seat. We spent a lot of time creating a seating chart that makes sense, and we want to make sure dinner service goes as efficiently as possible. Once you have dinner, feel free to move around.

CO-WORKER: So weird, I haven’t gotten my invitation yet!

(They are not invited to the wedding.)

YOU:

Thank you for reaching out. Due to capacity limits at our venue, we kept our guest list to very close friends and immediate family. Hope we will get to celebrate over happy hour sometime after work.

AUNT URSULA: So, when are you going to give your parents grandbabies?

YOU:

We are so excited to be married and enjoy time as life partners. We haven’t given much thought on when or if we plan to have little ones.

FRIEND:

I can’t wait to pick out my bridesmaid dress!

(They are not in the wedding party.)

YOU:

We’ve decided to keep our wedding party very small. You’re very special to us, and we were hoping to include you on the wedding day by [insert any of the following: doing a reading at the ceremony, getting ready together on the wedding morning, being our something blue, etc.]

VENDOR:

I’ve drawn up a proposal for you. Please review and let me know if you have any questions.

(Vendor has presented you with a proposal that’s over your budget. You’d like to work with this vendor and hope they can make tweaks to fit your budget.)

YOU:

Thank you so much for taking the time to create this proposal for us. We love your work! We would like to work with you for the wedding day, but our budget is $X. Do you have any suggestions on how we could adjust your services to fit within our range?

AUNT MARCIA:

Sorry I didn’t send the RSVP on time.

I’m still not sure if we can make it.

(RSVP deadline has passed.)

YOU:

We do need to turn in final counts to our caterer and venue by the 23rd. We hope you have more clarity by that date, because we would love to celebrate with you. If we don’t hear from you by then, we won’t be saving you a seat.

COUSIN BETH:

I don’t want to get a sitter for my kids. Can I just bring them to the wedding?

(You want an adults-only wedding.)

YOU:

We love your kids, but we’ve decided that our wedding will be an adults-only celebration. If you’re unable to attend because you can’t find child care, we will miss you but understand.

UNCLE MAX: This is a fancy wedding! How much did it cost?

YOU: We feel very fortunate that our families helped us to plan such a beautiful celebration, and we’re glad you could attend.

MAID OF HONOR:

For your bachelorette, we’re renting a party bus and going clubbing.

It’s going to be totally wild...

(This is not your idea of a good time.)

YOU:

I’m so happy (and grateful!) you are excited to plan my bachelorette party. I was hoping we could fill the weekend with things I love, like yoga, wine tasting and board games. I’d love to be included in the planning if you need more suggestions.

Create moments that will take your breath away.

WEDDING RULES

Cue the confetti. You’re bucking tradition, breaking free from the rules to-be-weds have felt beholden to for years and years. While you’re at it, consider asking loved ones to come along on your out-of-the-box adventure. The thing is that this may come with its own unique rules. Here’s a look at how to strike a balance between welcoming suggestions and firm directives for your wedding.

YOU’RE CORDIALLY INVITED TO…FOLLOW THE RULES. IN AN AGE OF THROWING TRADITION TO THE WIND AND EMBRACING A “YOU DO YOU” MENTALITY, IS IT POSSIBLE TO ASK TOO MUCH OF WEDDING GUESTS?

By Hannah Nowack

CONSIDERATE GUIDELINES VS STRICT MANDATES

Here’s the thing—people don’t like being told what to do. If they did, guides like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People wouldn’t be bestsellers. As such, how you position a unique ask for guests is just as important as the request itself. When framing something as a rule, like a no-phone policy, it’s possible you’ll meet resistance from guests. However, if they understand the reason behind your request, they may be more inclined to oblige.

“Setting ‘rules’ for your wedding simply reflects the desire to create a specific atmosphere and experience for your special day, as well as for your guests. However, it’s important to strike a balance between setting guidelines and maintaining a sense of enjoyment and relaxation,” explain Aleah Valley and Nick Valley, cofounders of Valley & Company Events (@ValleyandCo). “Rules should enhance the celebration, not stifle it. When rules become overly restrictive or burdensome, they can detract from the joy and spontaneity of the event.”

Wise Words

How are you framing your asks? Here are some simple ideas you can copy and paste to ensure a warm reception.

“We’d love for you to consider…”

“We are embracing personalization and doing things a bit differently for the wedding. If you feel comfortable, please…”

“Let’s have some fun. In lieu of [traditional element you’re forgoing], we’ve decided to…”

“Who’s ready to have some fun? We’re excited to celebrate with you soon and kindly ask that you…”

Manners for Manners

You have a few methods for communication at your disposal. Here’s how to effectively pass along key details to loved ones. “Couples should communicate their desired rules thoughtfully and clearly, ideally through multiple channels,” say the Valleys.

Invitation Insert: The earlier you can let folks know about special requests, the better. A details card included in your invitation suite is a great place to start. You can also include your wedding website on this card so VIPs know where to find more info.

Wedding Website: A wedding website is a great place for conveying important wedding details, especially information that needs more than a few sentences to explain. You can include everything from attire inspiration photos to registry requests on your personalized page.

Prewedding Correspondence: As a last-minute reminder, a mass text or email can be your final move to ensure your loved ones are informed. “Posing the suggestions as playful cues in a newsletter or correspondence will help get the message across,” suggest the Valleys.

TOP TIPS

Listen up, here’s the TL;DR. Six wedding planners offer key pieces of advice that you’ll want to remember.

BE GRACIOUS

Above all else, consider your attitude when going into wedding planning, especially if you create special rules. Are you approaching the topic from a place of gratitude or entitlement?

“One of the most paramount attributes a couple can have on their wedding day is graciousness. Any over-the-top rules that come across as ungrateful to the guests who have traveled and taken time to be there for you is off-putting.” —@DowneyStreetEvents

EMBRACE BALANCE

A little give-and-take will go a long way during your planning journey. Say you feel especially strongly about phone usage at the wedding. Consider balancing that out by providing more flexibility with your dress code.

“Remember to balance making your wedding uniquely yours with ensuring your guests feel relaxed and special. Creating a warm, inviting atmosphere is key. If you do include a few rules, try to keep them to three to five to avoid overwhelming your guests.” —@PoppyFlowersCo

GAUGE COMFORT LEVELS

You know yourself and your guests best. How comfortable are you with certain rules? How

do you think those asks will be received? The answers to these questions should inform how you proceed.

“How prescriptive a rule is should balance the couple’s preferences with the comfort of theirguests.Weddingsarecelebratoryevents where guests should feel welcomed and able to enjoy themselves. Avoid overly rigid dress codes unless it’s absolutely necessary for the style, formality or culture of the occasion.”

—@BashPlease

PROVIDE CLARITY

When you’re thinking outside the box and doing things in a way that guests likely haven’t experienced before, give them as much information as possible. Chances are they’d be happy to comply with your asks, but they can’t do so without fully understanding the situation.

“If you’re going to incorporate rules for your guests, the best place to put them is your wedding website. You can also include certain expectations on an insert with your wedding invitation, so there are no awkward surprises for guests.”

—@VictoriaAnnEvents

FOCUS ON FLEXIBILITY

Take a breath. Your wedding is about joy, not restrictions. In the same way that you’re asking guests to approach your wedding differently, spend some time preparing for the off chance that guests don’t adhere to your rules. Are you going to let it ruin your attitude? Or are you going to roll with the punches? The more you can mentally prepare to be flexible beforehand, the smoother the wedding will go.

“It can be hard to overcome the disappointment of a rogue guest. Guests are unpredictable, and the more you try to control, the bigger the invitation for frustration.”

—@ClusterEvents

ENHANCE THE GUEST EXPERIENCE

No one likes rules for the sake of being strict. But if they make the overall experience more unique, fun and memorable, why not embrace some creative ways of partying?

“Ultimately, the goal of any wedding rule should be to enhance the overall experience and ensure that everyone has a wonderful time. Flexibility, respect and clear communication are key. Couples should feel empowered to create the wedding they envision while also considering the comfort and enjoyment of their guests.” — @ValleyandCo

let’s get real

Sometimes hypothetical situations paint the clearest picture of how to act. Here are three that’ll help you apply the tips and tricks you’ve learned.

Rule #1: The dress code is “desert formal in sunset shades.” Dress codes have gotten more creative in recent years, and that’s an exciting development. The key here is to help guests understand what you want so everyone feels equipped to come dressed in something on theme that they also feel comfortable in. “Sending out an inspirational mood board has become quite common. It helps guests understand the overall theme and coordinate their attire, contributing to a more cohesive and stylish look for the day,” says Cameron Hardesty, founder of Poppy (@PoppyFlowersCo).

Rule #2: No phones can be used at any time during the event.

An unplugged wedding, especially the ceremony, is a trend that isn’t going away anytime soon. The key is how you approach a phone ban and to what extent you ask that devices be kept away. “Generally, a nophone policy at weddings can be seen as unnecessary and potentially problematic,” says Victoria Holland, owner of Victoria Ann Events (@VictoriaAnnEvents). Maybe you have a phone-free ceremony but allow them at the reception. Or you could even have a phone-check station to encourage guests to be present while providing the option for connectivity. “Guests may need to stay in contact with loved ones, such

as elderly parents or children at home. It can also pose challenges for event staff. Some guests enjoy sharing moments from the wedding with friends or family who couldn’t attend. Asking guests to refrain from social media posting is fine, but prohibiting phones altogether is excessive,” says Sunna Yassin, co-owner of Bash Please (@BashPlease).

Rule #3: No physical gifts.

We only want cash.

Cash funds are becoming more and more popular these days, and it’s easy to see why. Many couples go into marriage with all the household items they need, and they’d rather save up for a special honeymoon or even a home down payment. The focus here should be on encouraging cash gifts from a place of gratitude rather than entitlement. Including information about your cash fund on your wedding website is a smart move.

It’s also helpful to remember generational differences with wedding gifts. Your grandparents might feel strongly about giving you a physical present. Ultimately, there may be one or two folks who gift physical items, and being flexible with their generosity will go a long way. At the end of the day, Holland encourages to-be-weds to “focus on what you can control, and you’ll have an unforgettable wedding.”

Down the Aisle or Down Payment?

A DIVE INTO THE “WEDDING OR REAL ESTATE” DEBATE THAT PERMEATES MY GROUP CHAT AND 1,000+ REDDIT COMMENTS.

By Cathryn Haight | Photo Collages by Tiana Crispino

When Netflix’s Marriage or Mortgage dropped in 2021, I was one of the people yelling “get the house!” at my screen. The series follows a wedding planner and realtor in the Nashville, Tennessee, area who compete to convince engaged couples to spend their savings on a wedding or a home. At the time of the show’s airing—when the world was rocked by COVID-19—the choice seemed clear: Nothing sounded better than the stability of owning property (especially to hobby Zillow-perusers like myself). But now, after two years as a wedding editor, I understand the flip side. I’ve seen couples say “I do” in meaningful ways, and they feel empowered to cut the traditions and expenses that don’t serve them. And celebrating love—the love between you and your partner and of your family and friends—is

always a worthy cause. (Plus, I’ve experienced the sticker shock of down payments firsthand.) So, should you put your dollars toward a wedding or a house? Moreover, do you even have to choose just one?

According to a 2023 study by the National Association of Realtors, 9 percent of homebuyers are unmarried couples, while the demographic makes up 18 percent of firsttime homebuyers (an all-time high). For Katelyn E. Sullivan, a millennial realtor (who ranks in the top 4 percent of Coldwell Banker agents globally), that figure is even higher. She estimates that half of the nearly 100 couples she helped buy property in the Boston area in the last four years were unmarried.

“Many young folks are seeing the continued rise of home

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we are the and house in our own way, we

Since we are handling the wedding and house in our own way, we feel conﬁdent that we made the right decision.

prices across the country, and that it may be smart to buy a home now and then start saving again for a wedding,” Sullivan says. “With a home secured, you’re building equity and [in many cases] have an appreciating asset.” Sullivan went down this route herself, feeling the squeeze of high rents before she was ready for a ring. “I had only dated my then partner for two years before we moved into a condo, and we weren’t ready to get married,” says Sullivan. She’s since saved thousands on her bills, because her monthly mortgage payment is less than her former rent. And when she does ﬁnd a worthy partner, she’s excited about the stability a home will offer during wedding planning. “If you’re in a position to purchase property, and you feel ready to take it on, I always suggest it,” Sullivan says. “Do your research, partner with the right agent and loan officer, and dive in.”

sible. “We have never regretted spending the money on our wedding, as it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” says Langabeer. “Try not to let the pressure of owning a home by a certain age dictate your decisions. There’s no right or wrong— only what feels right for you.”

Not every couple has the money for a down payment, which is often up to 20 percent of the home price. That’s a major investment for anyone. If you haven’t saved up enough yet, discuss what moving forward in the rental market in an intentional way might look like. That could mean a plan to rent in a less-expensive neighborhood, a prenegotiation of a lower rent increase with your landlord or a switch to a month-to-month lease. Maybe you could ask your landlord to include utilities in your lease price or pick up a roommate for the time being. But for unmarried couples who are in a position to buy property together, Sullivan urges them to nail down the speciﬁcs of ownership. Talk through stipulations like a deed of division and a joint venture agreement, which outlines who contributes what for the down payment.

Ownership specifications were top of mind for Samantha Langabeer, director of marketing and editorial operations at The Knot, who purchased her “hopefully forever home” with her husband of two-and-a-half years this past June. “I was adamant about not buying a house together unless there was a ring, so when we first started looking, we decided that I would purchase alone,” says Langabeer. “Once we got engaged, we were ready to purchase together, but housing prices were high so we decided to focus on paying for our wedding first.” The pair created a wedding budget that allowed them to splurge on food, felt true to their vision and was financially respon-

For Taylor Whitten, content strategist at The Knot, and her now ﬁancé, it felt right to prioritize home ownership and get married within a year. They’re planning to have a large celebration with friends and family later. “We had a big timeline prioritization chat, complete with a calendar invite,” says Whitten. “We discussed budgeting for an engagement ring, a down payment on a house, a wedding of some sort and having children. We laid out our thinking behind ‘when’ to get a sense from each other about our ideal timing.” The couple purchased their home in April, got engaged in June and are now looking toward a January 2025 elopement and saving for a future reception. “I think we would be more stressed if we went full steam ahead with a traditional wedding, because a house would always be in the back of our minds,” says Whitten. “We want to start a family in the next two to three years, and we knew we wanted to be settled in a space we could grow into beforehand. Since we are handling the wedding and house in our own way, we feel conﬁdent that we made the right decision.”

At the top of each month, the couple has a budget meeting to discuss how they’re pacing toward wedding goals while balancing their mortgage. And though they’re forgoing DoorDash deliveries and travel plans, Whitten and her partner feel “a million percent” happy with their decision to purchase a house ﬁrst (it was where they got engaged too).

The takeaway is this: Honest communication and intentional conversation matter more than what you put your money toward. There is no linear timeline of when you should reach these adult milestones, and the ﬁnal outcome of your “wedding vs. house” debate is secondary to getting aligned on your priorities. So when it’s time to have that discussion (or any other big-picture budget talk), take a page out of Whitten’s book: Uncork some wine and make it a date night. Even if it includes a lot of numbers right now, you’re talking about your future together…and that’s lasting love.

Do Question Yourselves

Wedding vs. house decision paralysis? Answer these questions posed by realtor Katelyn E. Sullivan and Emily Blain, a premarital fnancial coach, to steer yourself in the right direction.

Is locational ﬂexibility important to you both at this stage in your lives and careers?

Renting gives you more wiggle room if you anticipate a big move or simply haven’t settled on an ideal neighborhood yet.

What makes you the most excited: a celebration with loved ones or the thought of establishing roots? Try living with each decision for a day or two and see which sparks more joy for you right now. There’s no wrong answer. Keep in mind that this decision isn’t black and white; it’s a spectrum, especially on

If you did purchase a home, how long do you anticipate staying there? If it’s less than ﬁve years, does the cost of owning outweigh the cost of renting?

Keep in mind: There are costs associated with selling a home, including capital gains taxes, real estate taxes, realtor fees and attorney fees.

How might this decision impact other milestones you hope to reach in the coming years?

If you hope to have children fairly soon after you say “I do,” are you in a place to afford a home that could

countless ways to celebrate that won’t burn through your savings, but will honor your love and commitment property before you have children?

Have Your (Wedding) Cake and Eat It Too

Try these methods to balance buying a house and budgeting for a wedding.

Make your wedding registry work toward your goals. Add a cash fund to your wedding registry designated for a down payment on a future home. Guests will feel great about contributing toward such a meaningful milestone. According to The Knot 2024 Annual Wedding Registry Study, 72% of couples incorporated a cash fund into their registry and 25% used it for a house, so you’ll be in good company.

Take advantage of a high-yield savings account (HYSA). Make your money work for you. “Interest rates are still high, therefore, high-yield savings accounts are giving good returns,” says Sullivan. “I suggest for everyone—whether you’re saving for a wedding or a home—to open a HYSA and make sure your savings grow. It’s essentially free money.”

Lean on pros. “Find a local realtor who specializes in first-time homebuyers to figure out what local, state or national programs are available to you,” says Blain. “Maybe you only need a 3% down payment or can secure a lower-interest loan if you buy a home in a specific area.” What’s more, bring in a seasoned wedding planner as your advocate. This pro can help you find creative ways to pull off a meaningful celebration that feels like you—while staying in your budget.

Don’t match your preapproval rate perfectly. “A preapproval rate is the maximum mortgage you can take out based on your debt-to-income ratio,” says Sullivan. “If you have other big life expenses, don’t get a loan for your full preapproval amount.”

Ask for help. “As hard as it can be to talk about money, especially with family, consider asking your parents if they’re willing to contribute to the wedding and/ or down payment,” says Blain. “Sometimes that can come with strings, but not always.”

According to The Knot 2024 Couples Finance and Budgeting Study, 76% of couples have ﬁnancial help to pay for their wedding, mostly from parents, so don’t worry if you need some assistance.

Introvert “I Dos”

WHOEVER SAID “A LITTLE PARTY NEVER KILLED NOBODY” CLEARLY NEVER MET AN INTROVERT. AWARD-WINNING MENTAL-HEALTH

SPECIALIST SUSAN BIALI HAAS, MD, WANTS WEDDING PLANNING INTROVERTS TO RECHARGE AND REFLECT RIGHT NOW.

By Cathryn Haight | Illustrations by Jordan Kay

How do you plan a wedding when you needed a week to recover from your best friend’s birthday party? While the undivided attention of loved ones makes some couples feel warm and fuzzy, introverts might feel uneasy under so many eyes. Contemplative types tend to thrive in intimate settings and require ample alone time to regain social energy. And wedding planning—between the details, decisions and bevy of folks itching to be involved—can feel at odds with those preferences.

“It can be very challenging to be the focus of attention of so many different people—from your planner and vendors to family and friends,” says Biali Haas. “You might find yourself feeling increasingly irritable, frustrated, exhausted or contentious.” She

How would you like to feel during the planning process, and what’s your ideal vision for it?

encourages introverts to clarify what they value in the planning process (email-only correspondence from vendors or avoiding wedding talk one day a week) and who they value enough to ask for an opinion (please, no panel discussions on wedding colors).

“Name any pressures or conflicts that you want to avoid,” says Biali Haas. Being up front about what you don’t want to deal with as you plan will make it easier to advocate for yourself and for your partner to support you as certain dynamics and demands emerge.

Ahead of the planning process (or during moments when you’re feeling overwhelmed), both you and your partner should answer these questions Biali Haas poses. Share your responses when you’re ready (read: after some solo processing time).

Who are the people who you’d like to weigh in on planning?

What will you do on a daily or weekly basis to ensure you have solo time to decompress and stay connected to yourself and your vision for the wedding?

Recharge Your Battery

THESE EXPERT-SUGGESTED ACTIVITIES WILL PRIME YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM, REDUCE STRESS AND KEEP YOU GROUNDED WHILE WEDDING PLANNING.

morning meditation:

What emotional or behavioral flags will you watch out for in yourself, and how will you make sure that you acknowledge and honor how you’re feeling?

What kind of support and space will you need from your partner during this time?

A consistent 10- to 20-minute morning meditation or relaxation practice has a 24-hour calming effect on your nervous system. Biali Haas recommends a meditation app or YouTube yoga sequence.

deep breathing:

Use deep breaths to calm your nervous system. Stretch your exhale longer than your inhale using a 4-6-8 breath: Breathe in for four counts through your nose, hold the air in your chest for six counts, then exhale through your mouth for eight counts.

mindful movement:

Move your body every day to reduce stress, combat anxiety and improve sleep. A daily 20-minute brisk walk will do wonders.

Susan Biali Haas, MD, is an award-winning doctor specializing in mental health, stress management, burnout prevention and resilience. In addition to 20 years of clinical experience in general practice, she’s also a well-being coach and the author of the popular Psychology Today blog Prescriptions for Life, as well as two books, including bestseller The Resilient Life.

Communicating Is the New Sexy

COUPLES AND A PROPOSAL PLANNER EXPLAIN

WHY JOINT PROPOSALS ARE TRENDING—AND JUST HOW ROMANTIC THEY CAN BE.

By Chapelle Johnson

Illustrations by Natalie Romine

joint proposal

A joint proposal is when a couple plans their engagement together (from the rings to the location) and propose to one another on the same or different days.

Expert tips for planning a joint proposal

Sometimes

two heads are better than one.

Julia Di, proposal planner and founder of Cloud Nine Premium Romance Concierge (@PRC_Cloud_Nine) in Miami, shares how to arrange a joint proposal that both parties will love.

Determine if a joint proposal is right for you

The ﬁrst step to planning a joint proposal is to talk to your S.O. about whether they want to take this route for the engagement, suggests Di. “Many people want it to come as a surprise,” she says. Remember, the only way a joint proposal or any future endeavor will work is if you and your partner communicate about each of your wants and needs. Di has noticed that the joint option is becoming more common: She planned three in the last year. Why do some couples take this route for the engagement? Di says, “Partners usually know what type of proposal they want, and they can share this info with their signiﬁcant other to ensure a great experience for both of them.”

Figure out how many proposals you want

Di explains that couples can choose to do two separate proposals or just one. Some may opt for the latter to save money for the wedding budget. Some may plan joint proposals as a single, same-day event for time and convenience’s sake, but you don’t have to. If you and your partner want to plan together while having separate days to propose, go for it. Doing whatever feels right for your relationship is always the best choice.

Decide who proposes ﬁrst

This step isn’t a requirement, but since two people are proposing, some partners prefer to be the ones to do so first. Discuss this beforehand to avoid awkwardness when the moment comes. Di says there’s no rule for who goes first; that’s up to the couple. If you’re considering incorporating a few surprises, like a live band or wine tasting, we suggest you go first, since you’ll have a better idea of the day’s itinerary.

Embrace timing ﬂexibility

While you can plan the exact date and time of a joint proposal, it isn’t necessary. Di encourages joint proposal couples to have some unexpected moments to make the experience more special. Consider aligning on a general time frame, but leaving the specifics up to your S.O.—this creates space for emotional candid pics. Whether you’re planning a trip around the proposal or keeping it local, try to work in timing flexibility. This is a good idea for those who know they’ll be too excited to wait until a specific date and time.

Choose an engagement announcement timeline

Discuss if you and your partner want to do the engagement announcement immediately after the proposals, or savor the moment for a few hours or days by yourselves. We know you’ll be thrilled to share the news, but don’t forget to take a little time to enjoy your engagement…the Instagram post can wait. Once you and your partner know how soon you want to tell your loved ones, think about what you want to do after. “Couples often plan an engagement party or small celebration right after the proposal,” Di says. You can also have an intimate dinner for two, an engagement photo shoot or go on a postproposal trip— the possibilities are endless.

Rules are made to be broken

THREE REAL COUPLES TELL US HOW THEY PLANNED THEIR JOINT PROPOSALS AND WHY THEY LOVE THEIR DECISION.

Olivia + Shelby

Shelby and Olivia’s love story began on not one but two dating apps. “The ﬁrst time we matched, Liv said ‘hi’ to me, and I was like, ‘I need more than a ‘hi.’ ” Shelby says. A month later, they matched again on a different app, which resulted in a better introduction and conversation, leading them to meet in person. They got drinks at a local bar and enjoyed their time together so much that they went on to another spot, where they shared their ﬁrst kiss. “The bar is called Lovers of Today, which

is so appropriate,” says Shelby. After a few months, the two made it official and have been inseparable ever since.

When both felt they were ready to get engaged, they had to decide where the proposal should be. “We were already discussing rings before Shelby’s work trip to Bora Bora. We knew it would be the perfect place for the proposal,” says Olivia. Fast-forward to June 29, and Shelby and Olivia were on the Polynesian island doing an engagement photo shoot on the beach and wearing white to coordinate with their surroundings and each other. Even though the two planned the destination and date, Shelby wanted some elements to surprise Olivia. “I asked the resort events team to help me do a big, grand proposal,” Shelby says. After taking photos, they hopped in the outrigger canoe to an island decorated with palm fronds, candles and tiki torches. Since Shelby organized the island surprise, she got down on one knee and proposed first. “I said how much I love Liv, that I’m excited about our future together, that I can’t see myself with anyone else and that I love her and her family,” Shelby recalls. Olivia’s heartfelt speech followed. “I had a couple of things I wanted to touch on, like how she showed me what true love was and that I loved the time we’ve spent together. Overall, it was a blur of emotion and beauty,” says Olivia.

This was one of Shelby’s favorite parts of the proposal because she felt Olivia helped her learn the meaning of true love too. “Liv mentioned how I taught her what love is and that was something we joked about at the beginning of our relationship. She would say, ‘Oh, you don’t know what love is,’ because I told her I had never been in love before,” Shelby says. “So that’s what I had engraved in her ring: ‘Thank you for teaching me what love is.’ And Liv wrote ‘My love’ inside mine in her handwriting.”

Why did these two choose a joint proposal? “I always saw a proposal as a big surprise thing, and I thought that was something I wanted. But at the same time, I think what we did was perfect for us. There’s so much romance in the preparation. It makes it feel more like an egalitarian relationship,” Shelby says. Olivia agrees and says there are moments of spontaneity in a joint proposal. “We’re not constrained by ‘somebody has to do this, and somebody has to do that.’ There’s romance in the uncertainty,” Olivia explains.

For couples considering a joint proposal, Olivia says communication is crucial. She recommends having honest conversations early on, like where you want to do it, what is the budget, what rings you want and your expectations. “Since we did all this, we’re in a better spot for wedding planning,” she says.

Madison + Jeremiah

After connecting on a dating app, Madison and Jeremiah bonded on two back-to-back art museum dates. Just two dates in, Madison knew he was special. “Jeremiah was the first person I wanted to have a third date with,” Madison says. Three years later, their unconventional proposal journey started

SHELBY & OLIVIA: SASHA POPOVIC; ALL OTHER PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE COUPLES

Madison + Jeremiah

Olivia + Shelby

when they booked their wedding venue before they were engaged. “Our timeline wasn’t typical, but it worked well for us,” says the couple. Knowing they wanted to get engaged, the two had numerous conversations about what the proposal should look like. “We tossed around ideas like choosing a specific week where we had different days to plan a surprise proposal for each other, but it was too complicated. We came back to what mattered to us, which was sharing a private moment in nature,” Madison says.

They proposed to one another during peak foliage season in upstate New York, where they had celebrated their two-year anniversary. “We found a rental in the Catskill Mountains surrounded by nature and planned a long weekend there,” Madison says. After picking the destination, they got each other engagement rings, since they viewed their joint proposal as a representation of equal partners. On October 9, 2022, they wore special outfits selected for the occasion, and Madison got her camera to document the moment. In an open field during golden hour, surrounded by towering trees with changing leaves, Madison proposed first and Jeremiah next, followed by a joint ring exchange. “A small group of bluebirds started singing as if they were congratulating us. Afterward, we called our families and opened a special bottle of prosecco,” Madison recalls.

Eleven months later, the couple married in Purlear, North Carolina, a scenic destination by the Blue Ridge Mountains. Now happily married for a year, the couple says they wouldn’t change anything about their joint proposal. “Planning it together was a meaningful experience for both of us. I loved being proposed to,” Jeremiah says. Madison felt their collective decision was beautiful. “The intentionality of planning an experience together was incredibly romantic. The simplicity of the moment, including the proposals we read to each other, made it really special,” Madison says. Together, they leave us with a few final thoughts. “We’ve always been deeply committed to an equal partnership,” they say. “We wanted to create an experience rooted in our values. We questioned conventional expectations and traditions that didn’t feel right to us.”

Katie + Tara

When you’re online dating, it’s overwhelming to endlessly scroll. For Tara, it was worth it once she laid eyes on Katie. “Katie had this wonderful picture of herself in a field of wildflowers in the Colorado mountains, twirling around in a big beautiful dress. She looked exactly like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. I was like, ‘Well, this seems like a fun person,’ and sent her a message,” Tara says.

Eventually, Katie and Tara met in person. Though Tara lived in Virginia “in the middle of the sticks” and Katie in Washington, DC, Katie visited Tara as much as possible. Since Katie didn’t have a car, Tara picked her up from the train station in Fredericksburg, Virginia, throughout most of their relationship. This was one of the locations where they thought a joint proposal should take place. “We talked about the engagement being at the train station where I picked her up, which has some sketchy areas. I waffled about it, thinking it should be in a special place that’s pretty. But I could tell Katie was a little disappointed. She wanted it to be at the sketchy train station. So that was the turning point for me,” Tara says.

Picking the destination was the last puzzle piece as their engagement rings burned holes in their pockets. “I knew Katie couldn’t have that ring one more week. We planned to have the rings on us all the time, but we never talked about what specific day the proposal would be,” Tara says. Two weeks after buying their rings, Tara waited for Katie at the train station with flowers and the ring box. After Tara proposed and Katie stopped crying, Katie pulled out her ring box and asked Tara if she’d marry her. They got their photo taken by a friendly bystander and then ordered pollo asado at a nearby Mexican restaurant. “We enjoyed the couple of hours we had to ourselves where we drove around, just being engaged,” Katie says.

For Katie and Tara, a joint proposal felt right. “We constantly talked about marriage and rings. The whole process was collaborative, like a marriage, so why shouldn’t a proposal be that way too?” Katie asks. Tara

feels the same way and believes you don’t need to follow a rule book. “Why should one person wait for the other to step up? I struggled with the idea of planning it and wondered if it was as special as a traditional proposal. But in the end, I decided this was our engagement, so we should both be part of it,” Tara says.

They want other couples to know that expressing what you both want helps avoid any guessing games. “I’ve watched so many of my friends get heartbroken over their engagements because they were waiting for someone to make a move and nothing happened,” Katie says. Instead of being unsure, sit down with your significant other and talk about what would make you both feel special. “If a joint proposal is something you’re thinking about, and you’re worried about communicating with your partner and ruining that spontaneity, don’t be. That surprise isn’t worth the anxiety you’re producing,” Tara says.

Katie + Tara

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FEATURES

The Family Recipe

WE DISH WHY THESE MULTIGENERATIONAL CATERING COMPANIES ARE SERVING UP SUCCESS.

By Esther Lee

What involves family, food and an entire finance team? In weddings, the answer is a multigenerational catering company.

The term “cater” is derived from the Old French word “acateor,” or “buyer,” which traces back to the late 16th century.

The concept of catering is several millennia older: The practice originated in ancient China and Egypt. Such civilizations were especially familial, with social status and vocation customarily

Marcia Selden Catering

NEW YORK CITY

Robin Selden, Managing partner and executive chef

Jeffrey Selden, Managing partner

Marcia Selden, Founder and president

As a teenager in the ’80s, Robin Selden watched her mother, Marcia Selden, build a catering business from the ground up.

“She was inspired by another caterer up the street whom you may know—Martha Stewart—and told my dad that she wanted to be a caterer, as she was known for her

passed from one generation to the next. Today, following in your parents’ footsteps is a choice. We dive into the at-home and in-office dynamics of multigenerational wedding caterers. Their stories take the cake: Each spans decades of hard work and shows the importance of instilling family values. And if that wasn’t enough, the caterers share a few trends you’re about to see (and consume!) at receptions everywhere.

extravagant parties at home,” says Robin.

“My brother and I saw the business being built one phyllo hot dog at a time, which was her signature hors d’oeuvre stuffed with sauerkraut and mustard. Mom’s business was strictly built by word of mouth, and her clients were happy to sing her praises. Today, the children of those patrons are hiring us too.”

On the cusp of the new millennium, Marcia needed help…a lot of it. “The business was exploding at the seams,” Robin adds. Back then, both Robin and her brother, Jeffrey, had established corporate ca-

reers. “Jeffrey was on the fast track in the luxury hotel world and I, frankly, hated my job,” says Robin. “I figured I had nothing to lose. As long as we didn’t kill each other, I thought it could be a recipe for success.”

Together, the Selden women expanded the company’s operations to a large office and commissary kitchen. Twelve years and many weekend weddings later, Jeffrey— then the director of food and beverage at New York City’s Palace Hotel—decided it was time to join the family business. “He was creating over-the-top events and weddings for New York society and building his

relationships with the industry’s top planners and vendors,” boasts Robin. “While we’d been working for years in New York, having Jeffrey on the team really helped to bring us to the forefront.”

How catering has evolved over time… “When I started working with my mom, she was creating stunning handwritten catering proposals that would take hours to write,” says Robin, who later introduced computer systems to the operations to streamline productivity. “Through the last 25 years, we’ve seen innovation and creativity come alive. From PowerPoint to Canva, the possibilities are endless. The days of hand-writing our prep lists are gone, thank goodness, as they used to take me hours to create. From a chef’s perspective, I also cannot express how much technology has helped us bolster our business.”

Beets Hospitality Group

LIVERMORE, CA

Read Phillips, Founder and co-owner

George Phillips IV, CEO and co-owner

Thirty-eight years ago, Read Phillips started Beets Catering out of her garage in California. And there is, of course, an entire tale that led to this decision. “Upon graduating college, I got a job in La Paz, Bolivia, at the first five-star hotel in the country. The owner was an American married to a Bolivian, and he suggested that if I wanted a career in hospitality, I should go to a trade school like the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) .” (Back then, Read’s only pro cooking experience was a high school fast-food job.) At the CIA, she learned

that it’s easier to find success in the field if the business is predictable. “That’s why I chose catering: I know the date of the event, the number of guests and what they’ve selected to eat. In restaurants, this isn’t always the case.”

Eventually, the company renamed to Beets Hospitality Group and moved from the garage to a venue with a commercial kitchen. “The concept of exclusive venues was new in the catering industry,” says Read. “We went on to build two venues in Livermore wine country on vineyard estates.” Read’s husband, George Phillips III, an architect, made it possible. “Without him, I don’t know if I would’ve had the confidence to build two 20,000-square-foot event spaces,” she says. “Our son, George

What we love about the family business Is…

“It’s special to watch your mother be an entrepreneur before the word was even a thing,” says Robin. “And it’s a dream to see her build something and then continue her legacy. We love being together, so it’s a gift to work in sync and create delicious memories for our clients.” Sometimes Robin’s and Jeffrey’s kids pitch in. “My twins just graduated from college and both have said that they still want to help on weekends and nights when they can,” she adds. “They love being a part of the company, and they love the work. As a mom and business owner, it’s all you could ever want.”

As for Marcia, the matriarch? “When I ran this question by her, she said that she couldn’t be prouder to see her children take what she worked so hard to build and bring it to another level,” says Robin. “She used to dream that we would be as passionate about Marcia Selden Catering as she was. She built a business that values family and treats our team—the heartbeat of our company—like family too. You can’t do that in the corporate world.”

IV, grew up in the business, washing dishes and loading trucks in high school. But he didn’t have much interest in joining the company.”

George IV confirms that statement. “Out of college, I landed a dream job working for a local nonprofit focused on land preservation,” he says. “Then my mom called me out of the blue and asked if I had any interest in taking a seven-month trip together. We called it ‘Hospitality Round the World,’ taking culinary excursions through countries like Lebanon, Sudan, Indonesia and Israel, through the lens of hospitality.” During those transformative experiences, he decided it was time to join Beets. “I was thrilled to have him,” Read says.

How catering has evolved over time…

Once George IV signed on, he immediately noticed ways to streamline efficiencies. “At 73, I was not going to be the future of our business,” says Read. “I’ve surrounded myself with smart young people and respect the direction they are taking the company. I have, in fact, backed away from daily engagement.” Incorporating technology has greatly benefitted the business.

“From delivering quotes and proposals to scheduling tours, it’s streamlined our processes,” says Read. “And social media: that was all new.” Thankfully, George knew exactly where to lean in.

What we love about the family business is…

“I happen to like my son a lot. We are good friends, so to have him at the helm of Beets makes me proud. That’s on the personal level,” says Read. “Catering is complicated. There are endless moving pieces leading up to and executing an event. If a family member has a necessary skill, it’s wonderful to include them. On the professional level, every company needs fresh young eyes to identify opportunities and lead change. It’s not always easy for the old dogs to stand down, but this younger generation is smart and organized.”

Mintahoe Catering & Events MINNEAPOLIS

Jim McMerty, Founder Suzi McMerty Shands, Co-president Shawn McMerty, Co-president

Jim McMerty was a CPA first, but his work with small businesses was what led him to the world of weddings. In 1992, Jim was helping a local company, Twin City Catering, with its accounting when the owner offered to sell it his way. “The business started in a small storefront in North Minneapolis with one van,” says Jim’s daughter Suzi. While she was studying psychology in grad school, Jim simultaneously asked Suzi to take care of administrative tasks at the catering company. It eventually turned into a sales role. As time went on, Twin City Catering grew through various means (namely “partnerships, acquisitions and an increased focus on sales,” she says). In 2008, TCC purchased a company

Footers Catering

DENVER

Anthony Lambatos, Co-owner

April Lambatos, Co-owner

The story of this company began in 1977, when Jimmy Lambatos started Footers restaurant. Four years later, he expanded to catering. “His whole goal was to bring restaurant-quality food and service to catered events, and that is something we still pride ourselves on today,” says Jimmy’s son, Anthony Lambatos, who’s now the co-owner of Footers Catering. “When my dad and his partner split in the early 1990s, the restaurant closed, but my dad continued the catering business.”

Growing up, Jimmy worked for his dad on weekends and in the summer. “I said I never wanted a career in the industry,” he says. “Catering was my dad’s thing, and I wanted to be a pro basketball player or something in sports.” But in 2004, Anthony’s got his first full-time job after college at Footers. “I spent five years doing almost every job in the company, trying to help my dad put systems in place to improve efficiencies. It was extremely difficult working with him at that time,” Anthony admits. “I was too young and arrogant to appreciate what he went through to build a busi-

called Mintahoe Hospitality, and they became Mintahoe Catering & Events. As fate would have it, Suzi’s brother Shawn had been working at an investment fund, and after the 2008 financial crisis, he decided to enter the family business too, joining for good in 2012.

Today, the McMertys are a family team: Jim is the CEO, while Suzi and Shawn serve as co-presidents. “Working with family has its positives and negatives,” all three admit. “Being able to work with parents, siblings and children gives you a whole new perspective about family dynamics. It is difficult at times to separate the personal family relationships from the professional company relationship.”

But there’s an upside to it all: “It gives you a better sense of closeness and togetherness. We love being able to come into work each day and see each other and be involved in each other’s lives, not just at holidays and special occasions,” they share.

ness from scratch, and he was too old and stubborn to be open to my ideas and change the ways he’d always done things. Most days I was pretty miserable and questioned why I had chosen this path.”

Close to quitting, the then 27-yearold Anthony had breakfast with his college mentor and lamented that he was “missing” his calling in life as a college basketball coach. When asked why he felt that way, Anthony rattled off the reasons: a love for competition, strategy, collaboration across various types of personalities, developing the skills

Why we love weddings…

“Hospitality, and catering in particular, is a fabulous business, because you get to help couples plan their most important day and see their dreams come true,” says Suzi. “I love creating an interactive experience for guests, something that will get them away from sitting with the same six people at a table. One of my favorites is a ‘performance station’ where chefs get creative in culinary presentation.”

of team members and much more. “After patiently listening to my animated response, he peered through his thin-rimmed glasses and said, ‘Anthony, you have an opportunity to do all of that right now at Footers.’ It was a moment that changed the course of my career. I went from seeing no future at Footers to loving my job.”

In 2010, nearly 35 years after Jimmy had established Footers Restaurant, Anthony and his wife, April, purchased the business from him. “We have successfully made the transition to a second-generation familyowned business and are very fortunate to be where we are today,” Anthony says. “Since the purchase, we have significantly increased revenue, drastically decreased turnover and have twice expanded into larger locations, doubling our physical footprint each time.” The couple has now established multiple sister companies, including MIBE (Make It Better Every day), which helps improve the culture of hospitality businesses, and their own event venue, Social Capitol. “We are not interested in growth for growth’s sake, but rather, we want to make sure we’re pursuing paths that excite our team and are true to our mission and values,” says Anthony.

What we love about the family business is…

“When people tell us they can’t imagine working with their significant other, we reply that we can’t imagine not working with each other,” the Lambatoses say. (Fun fact: Anthony tried to hire April before they started dating.) “Her love of food, events and operations, paired with my love of business, make for a great partnership,” he says. More importantly, it sets the tone for the entire team. “Having someone you respect and trust wholeheartedly as a partner is special and rewarding,” Anthony adds. “Our focus on different areas of the business has allowed us to both shine without stepping on each other’s toes.”

Despite the ups and downs of working with his father, Anthony looks back on the founding of Footers with much gratitude. The couple established an annual core value awards called the “Jimmy Buck” recognition program to shape the corporate culture of Footers. “We had the opportunity to take what he built and transform it into what it is today,” says Anthony. “We are proud of our history and want to honor the legacy of the business, while making sure it evolves and can last for generations to come.”

What’s Cookin’

CONSIDER THESE INNOVATIVE AND FRESHLY HARVESTED WEDDING

CATERING TRENDS OF 2025, PLANTED BY A TOP ROSTER OF CULINARY AND DRINK EXPERTS.

By Chapelle Johnson

Caffeinate Your Guests Throughout the Event

Invest in Environmentally Friendly Catering

Invest in Catering

Environmental awareness is a hot topic that some might argue isn’t even a trend. “Everyone in the industry is catching up to the concerns of Gen Z and rising to the occasion with eco-fabulous event options,” says Corina Beczner, owner of Vibrant Events in San Francisco. This could range from zero-waste meals to recyclable utensils and dinnerware. Adds Read Phillips from Beets Hospitality Group in Livermore, California: “We use only china and glassware in our service.”

Late-night coffee bars at receptions continue to be a perk for guests. “Couples offer cappuccinos, lattes and cold brews infused with CBD to go along with a late-night snack of burgers or breakfast tacos,” says Hanks. “It’s a great way to infuse the crowd with extra energy and fun vibes to dance the night away.”

Have a Postwedding Brunch

Postwedding brunches are making a comeback. “A farewell brunch (hello, stuffed challah French toast) means more variety and creativity for the menu options and more time with family and friends,” says Anthony Lambatos, coowner of Footers Catering in Denver.

Sip on Creative Martini Variations

Drinks

Serve Fun Preceremony Drinks

Serving preceremony drinks (alcoholic or not) promotes a chill vibe and cools guests before outdoor ceremonies. “This trend will persist as couples recognize the benefits of creating a relaxed and convivial atmosphere. It also allows guests to mingle and enjoy the surroundings before the formalities begin,” says Kim Hanks, co-owner of Camp Lucy in Dripping Springs, Texas.

Experiment With Freeze-Dried Foods

Robin Selden, executive chef of Marcia Selden Catering in New York City, says freeze-dried fare is a wedding musthave. “We love the bright, concentrated flavors a sprinkle of freeze-dried powder can bring to a dish. For example, delicious tiny freeze-dried tomatoes add crunch and intensity to salads and entrees.”

Move over, espresso martini. There’s a new way to imbibe. “We’re starting the trend of martinis on the rocks. I love the large ice cube with the skewered olive inside. It’s easier than drinking out of a martini glass, especially when you’re on the dance floor,” says Jennifer Schepps, director of catering at Abigail Kirsch catering in New York City.

Wow Guests With Adaptogenic Refreshments

Refreshments

An adaptogenic drink is an alcohol-free cocktail of plant and herbal ingredients like CBD and ginseng. Some producers assert adaptogenics can increase a person’s energy or assist with relaxation. This beverage can be great for people practicing a sober lifestyle but who want something that can loosen them up.

On the FEATURES

Radar

WEDDINGS HAPPEN RAIN OR SHINE, BUT SUNNY WEATHER IS OVERWHELMINGLY PREFERRED. THUS, BOUTIQUE SPECIALISTS HAVE EMERGED AROUND WEATHER FORECASTING FOR EVENTS, WITH EXPERTS BOTH SCIENTIFIC AND CEREMONIAL. WE DEMYSTIFY THE LORE AND ALLURE OF WEDDING WEATHER.

By Esther Lee | Illustrations by Jordan Kay

In a secluded corner of Jimbaran Bay in Indonesia, a ceremony before the ceremony takes place. The air is thick with humidity, a sure sign of impending rain, at a luxury resort, and storm clouds have gathered with the wind. On a tropical island like Bali, just south of the equator, this means rain can pass in a moment or foil plans entirely. To ward off the precipitation, however, there’s a popular suggested antidote: the rain stoppers.

A man clad in Balinese ceremonial attire—a kamen andsaputfrom the waist down and an udeng(or headdress)—meditates in solitude to stop the rain from spoiling the wedding ceremony. His name is Made Warmana, a Reiki master and the dedicated rain stopper at the Raffles Bali resort. Wedding vendors teeter about as they set up for the celebration, which will be held outdoors on a sprawling lawn facing the Indian Ocean. Warmana pays them no mind, nor does he fret about the “negative energy” of the rain clouds gathering north of the bay. He has been preparing for this event, rising daily to meditate at 3 a.m. ahead of the nuptials. “According to Balinese beliefs, these hours, called the ‘Brahma Muhurta,’ or ‘time of the creator,’ are auspicious,” he says. “It is said that this is the ideal time to manifest our desires into fruition.”

Warmana lights incense, which symbolizes light and heat, and breathes onto the smoking sticks as he visualizes positive affirmations. He presents Balinese offerings while reciting mantras, warding off the negativity of the rain. “The concept of rain stoppers in Bali is deeply rooted in our ceremonial rites,” says Warmana. “The practice of rain stopping is typically passed down through generations. Today, rain stoppers are employed for private events, such as weddings and other special celebrations.” With an 80 percent success rate (as proudly conveyed by a wedding specialist at the resort), Warmana ﬁnds success again: The winds comply and storm clouds remain at sea. Crisis averted.

The term for rain stoppers in Indonesian is “pawang hujan” or the “tukang terang” in Balinese. Technically, “rain moving” is more accurate, says Warmana. The thousands of people who plan weddings on Bali each year envision

our weather team

Genevieve “Gigi” de Manio is a wedding photographer who’s captured political and celeb client weddings. Her new book, Silver: Moments Into Memories, is out now.

Tara Fay is an Ireland-based event planner, designer and producer who specializes in luxury events.

Megan Grose is cofounder of the planning and design company Brindle + Oak in Colorado.

Andrew Leavitt is founder of Ironic Reports, a concierge event meteorology service that provides access to professional meteorologists for your speciﬁc location.

Made Warmana is a Bali-based Reiki master and healer, and the official rain stopper for the Raffles Bali resort in Indonesia.

sunny skies and teal water lapping genthe lush volcanic rain stoppers for events so common across

tly against the lush volcanic landscape. Enlisting rain stoppers for special events is so common across Southeast Asia that some wedding planners and popular resorts offer the services. The meditations begin once they’re hired.

“The Balinese consider human beings an inseparable part of this cosmic whole. Based on this belief, the rain stopper aligns the microcosm of each individual (bhuana alit) with the energy of the universe (bhuana agung), visualizing the clouds as positive energy. It’s like a magnet: A positive repels a positive.” Couples who marry in this part of the world don’t want to gamble with the gods.

Rain stoppers are just one example of the weather superstitions and spiritual practices that occur in cultures around the world. On social media, some brides in Europe share a trick for warding off rain on their wedding days: burying sausages in the backyard the evening prior to the event. In Ireland, the Child of Prague (a statuette of Jesus as a child) is basically a household item, regardless of religion, says event planner and designer Tara Fay of Tara Fay Events in Dublin. “When it comes to weddings, couples put the Child of Prague outside a bride’s house the night before the wedding to ensure

good weather,” says Fay. “If it rains, someone always says, ‘No, you should have buried it or had it out for at least a week.’ For every weather event, we have an answer in Ireland.”

In the US, couples who marry down South test their weather powers with—you guessed it—booze. According to popular folklore, tobe-weds visit their ceremony site one month before the wedding with a bottle of bourbon. They bury the bottle, top down, as close to that location as possible to ward off the rain weeks later. (After all, nothing says “buzz off” like an upside-down bottle of Maker’s Mark.) Superstitious types swear by this old wives’ tale. Then, there’s science.

Andrew Leavitt is in the highlands of Pennsylvania on a bright and humid summer day. His team at Ironic Reports is keeping an eye on the Doppler radar: within the next 30 minutes or so, Leavitt’s lead meteorologist spots storm clouds gathering, the wind moving swiftly in their direction, where a conference will soon take place. Leavitt (who later says he was “sweating bullets internally”) has to make the right call. Top planners will either spot his talent and hire him for their events, or see him as the weather service that delivered the wrong report. In other words, just as the barometric pressure is rising, the professional burden is too. Even worse, the dress code for the day is white linens and lace. Imagine the attendees walking out in white under a canopy of lightning and sideways rain. With a grin, Leavitt notices

four on a

four golfers on a fairway nearby and remarks, “Those guys are about to get pummeled by rain within the next 10 minutes.” Moments later, we hear thunder. He quickly informs the organizers that they’ll have to delay the next event—but time is of the essence. After Leavitt says the lightning has passed, the events team at Engage! Summits and Nemacolin creates a canopy of umbrellas leading from the tent to a line of golf carts, which then shuttle guests to the next location. Before he launched Ironic Reports, Leavitt studied weather and its effects on events for 10 years while supporting outdoor entertainment venues and major productions like the Panorama Music Festival on Randall’s Island in New York City. “We’d have 200 stagehands and hundreds of tents going up with help from the crew on-site,” he says. “My job was to make sure that we were doing things appropriately and safely, working with the meteorologist if there were thunderstorms.”

Five years ago, Leavitt was at a friend’s outdoor wedding on Newport Harbor in Rhode Island, which like much of the East Coast is prone to sporadic summer rain. “It was one of the more luxurious weddings that I’ve ever been to, and there was a storm blowing through. The wedding planner had their phone out and didn’t really know what to make of the radar or the style of the storm. Meanwhile, I was looking at my radar and appraised the situation: The rain was going to pass in 30 minutes,” he says. “I was in the wedding party, so I turned to a bridesmaid and commented that the vendors should bring the chairs in until the rain passed. She told me to just let this person do their job.” Soon, the vendors moved everything indoors to the wedding hall.

“As the bride walked down the aisle, a glorious rainbow appeared in the window behind her. The storms had passed and it was perfect out there,” says Leavitt. “So everyone went outside and faked the wedding for the photos.” A week later, he dialed a friend who worked in tech and asked if he was onto something. A business model combining weather and weddings was born.

Arguably, the events industry can teach the best course on preparation. In countries like Ireland and regions known for unpredictable weather patterns, planners and designers are often ready for the worst—and the best. Having a backup plan gives couples and their vendors peace of mind. “We always say you don’t get married in Ireland for the weather, so we plan for all four seasons in one day, literally,” says Fay. “We lean in to whatever weather we get at any given time. We have umbrellas, parasols, sun hats, rain coats, blankets and more on hand.”

There are also unspeakably challenging situations. In 2021, Megan Grose of the planning ﬁrm Brindle + Oak faced a nightmare scenario when a tornado tore through a tented wedding setup in Texas 24 hours before the ceremony. “It was a million-dollar production, and the tornado destroyed it all,” says Grose. “I went into a closet and cried for a few minutes, then took a deep breath, and the rework began. Once we had a plan in place, I broke the news to my client, and they were understandably shocked. We all took a collective breath and set forth. Overnight, a team of 80 vendors came together and rebuilt the entire production from the ground up in between aftershocks of the storm.”

So when Grose now deals with rain, it’s no big deal. She has a basic protocol to prepare for the precipitation: Ask the hotel to get umbrellas and have the venue team provide golf carts so no one has to walk on wet grass (especially if it’s an outdoor wedding). And she prays for the rain to halt, requesting a rainbow. If the sky doesn’t cooperate, Grose pivots. What guest, after all, would say “no” to a preceremony drink?

CELSIUS TO FAHRENHEIT

Multiply the Celsius number by 2 then add 30

FAHRENHEIT TO CELSIUS

Subtract 30 from the temperature in Fahrenheit and divide that number by two

As a top industry photographer, Gigi de Manio has captured everything from Chelsea Clinton and Mark Mezvinsky’s Rhinebeck, New York, wedding to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent’s nuptials at the New York Public Library. She has captured tears and beaming moments of happiness—often in the most unreliable weather conditions. For someone like de Manio, contingencies for successful, beautiful imagery rely on a few factors: couples, planners and a solid backup plan for the backup plan. “The ability to pivot at the last minute to a new location or finding alternate portrait locations is key,” says de Manio. “I scout several areas for portraits in case the weather changes on the fly. Even wind speed can influence how hair blows in photos.”

That’s where trust in a solid team of vendors comes in. “It helps everyone celebrating stay calm,” says de Manio. But that means the team has to stay on top of the weather. “I suppose that’s why it’s always good to have a wedding planner familiar with the area, especially for a destination wedding,” says Fay. “Even for photography backdrop location scouting, we always plan for rain and any other weather event we might expect.”

Whatever storms there are outside, the greatest struggle is often quelling the inner storm leading up to the event itself. Throughout our lives, weddings have been closely associated with a notion of perfection: perfect bodies, perfect toasts, perfect weather. But nature moves at her own pace. When the worst occurs, the best response comes from (dare we say) the couple. Those laugh-out-loud and unexpected wedding moments that appear with weather can make the day’s photos, videos and memories shine brighter than a cloudless sky. “It only adds to the fun of the day,” says Fay. “We always tell our couples, ‘Let’s plan for the worst and hope for the best.’ That way, they won’t be disappointed. Rain impacts everything, including transport, so it’s always better to have not just a plan A and plan B, but a plan for all the letters of the alphabet.”

Rain or shine, your wedding day is yours to remember. Of course, the practical side of this writer wants to caution: the tent and creature comforts still matter, especially if your wedding is held at the height of summer or on a brisk fall evening. (For that, advise guests to bring layers or provide blankets at the reception venue.)

When you look back, though, even if it rained or it was hotter than hell, you won’t care about the weather as much as your response to it. You are the thermostat, no matter the temperature.

the wedding — deconstructed

LIKE MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY,

THE WEDDING TIMELINE IS BEING PULLED APART BY A TRENDY SET OF COUPLES.

By Esther Lee | Illustration by Jordan Kay

It used to be the engagement followed by the wedding. The bach party and bridal shower were held somewhere along the way, along with the rehearsal dinner for select loved ones. After a sparkler exit and a “Just Married” sign on a getaway car, the couple hopped on a plane for the honeymoon. While much of this still holds true, the traditional wedding timeline is being slowly unraveled or, rather, deconstructed by trendy couples looking to ditch the standard model of events in favor of something more bespoke.

In molecular gastronomy, chefs who specialize in this form of culinary art prepare tasting menus that combine the same ingredients in a typical dish, but reimagined and cobbled together in an unexpected way. That’s the kind of thing we’re seeing with modern wedding timelines. To-be-weds who want the added experience of hyper-personalized weddings may find that reordering the “when” makes for a refreshing twist on tradition. Enter the deconstructed wedding.

Let’s start with the reception: This isn’t going anywhere. In fact, The Knot 2023 Real Weddings Study found that one of the most consistent traditions in weddings deals with the order of the day: a ceremony, followed by cocktail hour and a reception. Eighty-five percent of all respondents (out

of 10,000) said this was their approach. Throwing a big celebration with loved ones is part of the wedding experience. Your love is worth celebrating before the witnesses who’ve made you. Yet some couples are looking to distinguish the wedding events, either by eloping or marrying before a more intimate set of loved ones. Then, they’ll host a crowd-filled rager.

“Often it starts with a tiny gathering in a city hall or church. Right now, I would say about 70 percent of my couples are doing that,” says Tanya Pushkine, officiant and founder of The Vow Whisperer in New York City. “I work with several hundred couples a year officiating, assisting with their vows or coaching their friends to marry them, so I get a nice cross-section of people. When the conversation goes to the logistics of signing the marriage license, many say, ‘Oh, we’re already married, or we’re getting married the week before.’ ”

When the conversation goes to the logistics of signing the marriage license, many say, ‘Oh, we’re already married, or we’re getting married the week before.’

Wedding planner Annie Lee of Daughter of Design and Plannie says a few of her clients have gone the deconstructed route. (In fact, credit goes to her for popularizing the clever term.) “The deconstructed wedding takes the components of the typical wedding weekend—rehearsal dinner, ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dancing, after-party—and mixes and matches them over a few events,” says Lee. “To me, it’s like instead of going to

a restaurant that has everything on one menu, you can go to a spot that specializes in a particular style of cuisine. Having an intimate family dinner followed by an all-out party helps segment those vibes. Also, it helps to divide a guest list. Grandma and your parents’ friends want to go to the ceremony and a beautiful dinner, while your friends want to dance until 2 a.m.”

Take, for example, Bianca Nikic and Llobol Alonso, who felt the tension between wanting an intimate ceremony and throwing a blowout disco-themed reception. “We were set on doing an intimate elopement with just our parents and siblings,” says Nikic, one of Lee’s clients.

“While planning, we got super far from our initial vision of something nontraditional and low-key, and ended up feeling lost. Then it sparked for us: We could go entirely our own route and structure the celebrations in a way that felt true to us, while still having everyone we love be part of it.”

Their version was dividing the wedding, including venue swaps, outfit changes and opposite event styles. They held the first event at Klaw at the historic Miami Women’s Club, where Nikic wore a more traditional two-piece custom gown from Chernaya Bridal House.

“We split it into an intimate ceremony and dinner with our closest family,” says Nikic. “Then, we pulled a 180.” She changed into a metallic gold crochet dress by Ammi bedazzled with gemstones. Within the same building, the group made their way to the Eagle Room for a Studio 54–themed disco dance party with friends only. “Keeping the first part of the night super small made it even more special,” says Nikic. “Plus, I felt slightly better about hysterically crying during my vows in a room of 50 guests, rather than 150 people. With the ceremony out of the way, we were able to go wild and be fully present, while having a ton of fun.”

event for dancing? That feels more appropriate and thoughtful. And of course, the party night dress can be super fashionable and sexy, since your dad’s golf buddies aren’t there and it’s just your friends.”

The top US market for elopements, Las Vegas, welcomes an influx of couples each year across its chapels, scenic lookout points and luxury hotels. Often, those who work weddings in Vegas find that couples want to steal away to have a moment to themselves—along with the occasional Elvis (more on page 94)—to celebrate in a fun environment. “Couples who elope before their larger wedding often value the privacy and intimacy; they also see it as an opportunity to create a special moment just for them. It’s a way to celebrate their love in a personal and meaningful way, without the distractions and stress of a big event,” says Daniella Cracco, manager of special events at Bellagio Resort & Casino. “Many couples choose to elope in Vegas for its romance and excitement, and then they celebrate with a larger wedding or reception in their hometown or another destination. Vegas offers spontaneity and glamour.”

Brandon Reed, owner and general manager at Bliss Wedding Chapel in Sin City, says there are plenty of reasons behind the deconstructed wedding movement. “By making plans here, couples say they greatly eliminate the stress and frustration of planning a wedding,” he says. “Family dynamics are sometimes complicated. A lot of couples come to Vegas by themselves to avoid the drama of an awkward reunion of family or friends. In some cases, bringing a family together en masse is like throwing gasoline on kindling. It’s just one more thing they have to think about.”

Lee says that couples often want to have a big party with all their friends, including those who wouldn’t normally make the cut at a standard reception. “You have to factor in family and family friends to the limited capacity of a venue. It’s then a bit tacky to invite more friends to crash the wedding at the end of the night to party. But what if there was a whole designated

Vegas isn’t the only destination for elopements. Some couples are making their deconstructed weddings a global experience. Take, for example, Utah-based couple Steven and Saba Eslami. They married in a civil ceremony stateside four years before their wedding reception. Missing a key part of the wedding experience, the couple ventured abroad for a reception planned by Olivia Buckley International. “Since we were already married, the

DEFINITION

Deconstructed Wedding

(n.) A wedding that doesn’t follow the traditional logic of chronological order. When couples go this route, they would rather take the typical order of nuptials and sprinkle them across the typical 15-month period of engagement. Often, they elope or marry in a more intimate setting, then follow it with a reception.

“It can all be in the same night or spread over a couple days—heck even in different cities—but what really defines this format is the different locations and segmented guest lists,” says planner Annie Lee.

wedding was as much about celebrating our love for our family and friends as it was for each other,” says Saba. “We tried to design every detail through the lens of our guests. We even kept the venue itself a secret. Fortunately, our guests trusted us and were willing to sign up to attend a wedding at an ‘undisclosed location.’ ” That location was the historic Ashford Castle near Galway, Ireland, where their reception brought to life their cultural backgrounds and vision for a grand party (and gave guests an incredible surprise). “It showcased the warmth of our Iranian, Irish and American cultures and shared values in a way we could have never imagined,” Saba says.

Like other couples who’ve done it, the Eslamis are now big proponents of the deconstructed timeline. “Having already been married for four years took the pressure off,” they say. “It let us focus on the importance and meaning of our official marriage ceremony and then, separately, a big party for family and friends.”

So there you have it: The deconstructed wedding is yet another newcomer to the US wedding scene. The shyer or more private types (more on that on page 38) may want to savor a moment for themselves. Of course, there’s the first look, the first dance and so many one-on-one moments of connection, but for those craving more, this is yet another option. “Couples say that by segmenting their guest list between the different events, it helps them have more quality time with their guests,” says Lee. “They get to have conversations with aunts and dad’s coworker that otherwise they might have rushed through because their best friend is taking them to the bar.”

When it comes to every other portion of wedding planning—be it the bach party or bridal shower—most couples and guests tend to outwardly document these prewedding festivities. But in a world that is constantly scrutinized by the public or on social media, a deconstructed wedding (be it at a beloved local venue, a Vegas chapel or an exotic location) can belong to just the couple or a limited set of loved ones. It can be yours to keep—for life.

Family Ties

Arguably one of the stickiest subjects to confront while wedding planning—or rather, as soon as you’re engaged—is relationship management…with everyone else. Between the obligations and boundaries, there may be a tight knot of dynamics to untangle with family members and friends. Lucky for you: Our columnist, who’s also planning his own wedding, has plenty of experience with this topic.

By Jove Meyer | Edited by Esther Lee | Illustration by Joules Garcia

Relationships can be complex and take work, but you share an unbreakable bond with your family. That said: Not all families are biological. Some are chosen, some are adoptive and some are a mix of all of the above. No matter what kind of family you have, they are yours through thick and thin. They can love you and annoy you more than anyone else (you take the good with the bad and find your way through it).

No family is perfect. I say this because you don’t want to waste time playing the comparison game. This type of thinking will not serve you well. In fact, it will only hold you back. The family you have is yours, so make the most of it. If they’re not giving you enough love and support, expand your circle of loved ones to include your chosen family. Weddings are an especially interesting time in life, as family members can feel the need to be very involved and share (sometimes overshare) how they would plan, why they would do it their way, who they would invite, what decor they think is best. I’ve seen relatives step in and plan an entire wedding from start to finish…even when they aren’t the ones walking down the aisle. Deep breaths: Even these “family coordinators” mean well.

Sometimes, family members may be reliving the wedding they didn’t have, or they’re overly worried about what other people think—which is why they go overboard to make it extra fancy, if not showy. From my professional experience, I can say it’s easy for families to get over-involved in your wedding because they are so excited about this special occasion. That being said, stand your ground and speak up for yourself. Otherwise you may end up being a guest at your own wedding.

So how exactly do you broach kindness in this situation? When I am most frustrated with my family, I always try to take it back to love. Intention is everything with family. They may not know the best way to express love, but they do so in the best way they know how. They *mostly* mean well, but it may not come across that way all the time. For engaged couples like me and you, this means we have to practice patience and understanding.

There’s an idiom I swear by: You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (More of this on page 30.) I always repeat “honey” to

myself when I’m feeling the frustration build. It’s like a mantra. As difficult as it may be, you should listen to your relatives, hear them out, thank them for their ideas and input, and say you’ll consider them. Equally important is for you to share your hopes for your nuptials (and the reasons and intentions behind them) with your loved ones. Then look for a middle ground—there are always ways to compromise without compromising (IYKYK).

Here’s how I usually work as a planner: I first encourage couples to make a list of the most important parts of their wedding and their nonnegotiables. Then I ask their

families (typically parents) to do the same, especially if they’re paying. I pose questions to both sets like: (1) What’s most important to your family and guests? Is it the food, the stationery (some people care about the calligraphy or the thickness of the paper), the wine or the decor? (2) What are the top three things you care the most about?

I ﬁnd parents are comfortable with what they know and what they’ve seen—in other words, the familiar. Weddings, however, are evolving in a way that make some parents uncomfortable. Couples these days are personalizing nuptials in ways that can feel too new, which is why it’s your responsibility to help them navigate around the discomfort. A tip if you’re stuck? I ﬁnd that if there’s a friend involved who your parents respect, they may help sway them in your favor. (There’s also the classic persuasion technique of making your parents think something is their idea.) Only you know your family: the intricacies, the power dynamics and what makes each person “tick.” So pull out the honey jar.

STICKY SITUATIONS

Now we’re onto tougher topics, starting with wedding planning resources—or simply put, money. Historically, in a wedding with a bride and a groom, her family would pay for the wedding. But times have changed and some weddings have no bride…some have two. Expectations have similarly shifted. Money can be one of the biggest stressors in life, and that holds true while wedding planning. Some families cannot offer any financial support, others offer what they gave to your sibling, and a select group will pay for the ceremony and reception outright. No matter how much you think your family can contribute, it’s important to candidly discuss the terms and conditions. If they’re paying, they may expect to invite their friends or have a say in the location, the design and even your wedding attire.

Every family has its own dynamics, likely ones that have been in place for many years. Your wedding will bring those to light and amplify any existing tensions or imbalances. Tread gently. (Again, honey!) As much as I appreciate my family’s opinions, I’m not interested in their humor around it being a gay wedding. I know they love me and my ﬁancé, but I had to put up boundaries because we won’t tolerate those jokes. (No, there’s no bride in a gay wedding. We are two grooms, so stop asking!) You know yourself best and have to protect your spirit and joy, so be clear and consistent in establishing boundaries. The other sticky subject is around unso-

If you’re at your max with unsolicited advice, come up with ways to change the subject: Ask them about work, their love lives, their family or their next vacation.

CELEBRATE YOUR WAY

You may have preconceived hopes of how your family will be involved in your wedding. (Toasts, processional and recessional order, and the like.) But not everyone has a family that can be there for them to fulﬁll these roles. While that may be sad for you (it is for me), it is the reality some of us have to face. Our families are what they are, providing support in the ways they can. Some may struggle with mental health issues or addiction. Some may no longer be, or never were, present in our lives.

licited advice. It will come from your family, friends, coworkers, your barista and really anyone you come into contact with who knows you’re engaged. (Editor’s note: The only exception is your trusted planner, vendors and The Knot.) It can be a lot, but remember: They’re trying to connect with you.

I’m a professional wedding planner and designer with over 15 years of experience who’s orchestrated over 200 weddings, but boy, do people sure want to tell me how to plan my own wedding. Somehow they become the expert. Again, intention is everything. If you’re at your max with unsolicited advice, come up with ways to change the subject: Ask them about work, their love lives, their family or their next vacation. It takes the focus off of you and your wedding.

When you think about your wedding, put yourself and your ﬁancé ﬁrst. What do you both want? Maybe it’s a micro-wedding, elopement or a multiday wedding weekend extravaganza. There is no wrong way to marry the love of your life!

Resources will also shape the size and location of your wedding. If you have limited resources, then spend them wisely. If you also want to start a family or a business, or you want to own a home, keep those goals in mind as you plan your ﬁnancial future. Can you afford everything you want? Be honest. As much as I, Jove Meyer, love weddings, I do not suggest you go into debt for your wedding. Be smart about your budget and remember: It’s ultimately about the love in the room. The people who really love you will celebrate with you…anywhere!

Either way, it can be challenging to accept that you may not have the typical or special family moments at your wedding. I’m here to say it’s okay to mourn their loss, and it’s only natural to want them. Take time to grieve before you move on. If you want to have those special moments and honor those traditions, but don’t have the standard family member to lead the role, ask someone else to step in. The show will go on and you will be celebrated!

Also, when you weigh these special roles in your wedding, I urge you to think beyond expectations and ask yourself who you’d like to honor with these moments. They often only honor one parent, but why not make it both? Why not honor a grandparent, a sibling or anyone who’s had a positive impact on your life?

So, there you have it. These are some of the most common familial scenarios I see and situations that I’m coming up against as I plan my own wedding. I know it’s tricky, which is why it’s important to face these as a team of two. I have faith you’ll shine through it. And remember, when you can’t seem to ﬁnd your way, indulge in some honey.

Jove Meyer is a celebrated wedding planner and designer based in Brooklyn, NY. A visionary and advocate for inclusivity in the wedding industry, Meyer is the creator of the Ally Pledge and the host of the podcast Weddings-ish with Jove You’ve seen him on Good Morning America, as well as here as our columnist.

A Date to Always Celebrate

THINK YOUR ANNIVERSARY ONLY COMES AROUND ONCE A YEAR? WE’LL STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.

By Sarah Hanlon Illustrations by Joules Garcia

While we’re in the business of weddings, we also believe that there’s always an anniversary to commemorate, including your wedding date. There are so many relationship milestones that deserve your attention, be it your first kiss, the day you said “I love you,” or even the moment you matched on an app. In short, there are plenty of dates to celebrate.

Don’t just take our word for it: There’s a scientific benefit to planning date nights. “When you prioritize emotional intimacy in a relationship, it deepens your connection, because you’re both allowing yourselves to be vulnerable,” says Leanna Stockard, licensed marriage and family therapist at LifeStance Health. Making a point to honor key moments throughout your relationship can help even the most mundane days feel meaningful. “When you make the effort to prioritize going on a date, it demonstrates to your partner that you care about spending time together,” Stockard continues. “Scheduling regular dates with your longterm partner is just as important as it is early in a relationship.”

Especially when you’re in the thick of wedding planning. Take this as your sign to celebrate memories, both spicy and mild, like the first night you grabbed tacos and margaritas, or the day you closed on your home. “Every couple is different. [Find] special and impactful moments that are unique to your relationship, especially those that deserve to be celebrated,” says Stockard. Take inspo from The Knot 2024 Relationship & Intimacy Study.

According to our data, 90 percent of married couples got dinner and drinks as a date night activity within three months of participating in our survey. (We get it, food unites!) Yet there are so many other activities worth adding to the lineup. Nearly one in two respondents cited going to the movies as a recent date,

while 37 percent took a road trip. About a third of all couples attended a live event, like a concert or a comedy show, while 31 percent said they did a physical activity together (such as taking a ﬁtness class or going on a hike). Video games, traveling by plane, crafting, wine tours and dance lessons were some of the other experiences our respondents participated in.

No matter how big or small the milestone, you’ll never regret being intentional about celebrating the pivotal moments in your relationship—especially because this is one of the best ways to keep the honeymoon phase alive and well. “Even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, the ability to have frequent date nights can help maintain that honeymoon phase,” Stockard says. By doing so, you’re showing your partner that you want to continue to prioritize that time together, stay present in the relationship and keep the spark between you alive.

dates to celebrate

The Day You Met / Your App Match

Your First Date

Your First Kiss

Your First “I Love You”

Your Dating Anniversary

Your Move-In Date Anniversary

The Day of Your First Home Purchase

Your Engagement Anniversary

Your Wedding Anniversary

Gifting Traditions

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A GREAT GIFT TO GO ALONG WITH YOUR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS. BROWSE OUR EDITORS’ PICKS TO MAKE YOUR S.O. FEEL LOVED BEYOND COMPARISON.

By Alison Meehan

First Anniversary

The traditional theme for one year of marriage is paper, which is ﬁttingly fragile, yet can last forever with proper care. The modern gift is a clock, representing the passage of time and the challenges it brings. While most anniversaries have a gemstone, the ﬁrst year breaks the trend with gold as its precious symbol.

Editor’s Note: Couples were able to select multiple items in our survey.

Second Anniversary

The traditional theme is cotton, a durable fabric that symbolizes strength and comfort. The modern two-year gift is china, which is delicate like a new marriage, while the official gemstone is garnet, a red jewel denoting love and friendship.

Leather is the traditional gift for the third anniversary. Strong yet flexible, this versatile material speaks to a couple’s ability to adapt and grow in their relationship. The modern symbol is glass, which reflects light and signifies a bright future. Pearl is the third anniversary stone, a lustrous gem that stays beautiful if properly cared for (just like love).

1. Gilded bees adorn the lapis blue dial of this luxurious timepiece with leather straps. G-Timeless wristwatch, $2,600, Gucci.com

2. Customize this encrusted band with your anniversary date. Bonus points: You can stack it with your wedding ring or wear it solo. Diamond Roman numeral band, $1,448, RingConcierge.com

3. The deep red hue of these earrings will captivate your forever plus-one. Garnet studs, from $499, Angara.com

4. Give cozy evenings in an upgrade with this nappa leather game set. Leather 8

backgammon set, $7,500, Tiffany com

5. Display this whimsical crystal bear beside other glass treasures. Be@rbrick ﬁgurine, $490, Baccarat.com

6. Inspired by nature’s imperfections, this minimalist vessel is worth keeping on display for guests. Bone china teapot, $95, ABCHome.com

7. Made from 100% Turkish cotton, this plush gift is perfect for lounging with your partner. Cotton bathrobe, $99, Brooklinen.com

8. This constellation map captures exactly how the stars aligned on your wedding date. Custom star map, from $55, TwinkleInTime.com

9. This lustrous gift will make your memories shine. Mother-ofpearl frame, from $59, PotteryBarn.com

RELATIONSHIPS

WE PROPOSE NINE REVELATORY, BURNING QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE.

By Esther Lee | Illustrations by Natalie Romine

th

Q estions

the Questions Pop Pop

about the experts

Lea E. Haber, LMSW is a Gottman-trained relationship coach and licensed therapist. @DrLoveLea

Colette Jane Fehr is a licensed couples therapist and the podcast host of Insights From the Couch. @ColetteJaneFehr

By now, you likely know the most intimate and random facts about your fiancé (i.e. their fave genre for a movie night, their go-to moves on the dance ﬂoor and when they’re on the brink of being hangry). And you’ll learn many more tidbits about your person throughout your marriage. Your engagement, however, is a fabulous time to learn new things about your love… that go above and beyond their bedtime routine.

By now, you know the most intimate and random facts about your fiancé (i.e. their fave genre for a movie their go-to moves on the dance ﬂoor and when on the brink of hangry) And learn many more tidbits about your person your marriage Your engagement, however, is a fabulous time to learn new about your love that go above and their bedtime routine

“Having just navigated my own wedding, I’ve learned that the real magic isn’t in the perfect flowers or the ideal venue—it’s in the way you and your partner communicate, problem-solve and celebrate the journey together,” says New York–based licensed therapist Lea Haber. “Getting married isn’t just about planning a wedding; it’s about laying a solid foundation for the life you’re about to build together. These conversations are the framework of a future full of clarity, confidence and connection. Think of it like building a dream home: You wouldn’t start with the paint colors before setting the foundation.” So what exactly are those essential questions to ask your fiancé or partner? We dialed the experts.

my own I’ve learned that the real isn’t in the flowers or the ideal venue it’s in the way you and your partner and celebrate the says New York–based licensed Lea Haber. “Getting married isn’t just about planning a wedding; it’s about laying a solid foundation for the life about to build These conversations are the framework of a future full of clarity, confidence and connection Think of it like building a dream home: You wouldn’t start with the colors before the foundation.” So what are those essential questions to ask your fiancé or partner? We dialed the experts

How do you deal with confict?

Conﬂict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. The key is not avoiding disagreements but learning how to navigate them as a team. Couples who understand each other’s conﬂict style before saying “I do” can stay connected, even when tensions arise. —Haber

Many people fear that an argument will jeopardize their bond, so they avoid conﬂict altogether. It’s essential to understand each other’s patterns for dealing with conﬂict. You should discuss how to collaborate when addressing difficult topics and meet each other’s needs when you’re not on the same page. —Colette Jane Fehr, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

How do you respond to stress?

Stress doesn’t have to be a wedge in your relationship; it can be a way to come closer together. Understand how your partner responds to stress and whether they need space or seek closeness, intimacy or distraction. This will allow you to show up for each other in the ways that matter most and navigate possible differences. —Haber

What kind of life do we wish to build together?

When couples align on their vision for the future—whether it’s ﬁnances, family planning or even how they handle intimacy—they’re creating a partnership that’s built to last. We live in a culture of self-love, and that’s a beautiful thing, but adopting a team mentality goes a long way. It’s about saying “we” instead of “me,” and that subtle shift in language speaks volumes when communicating about your life going forward. It’s not just talk; it’s a blueprint for a lifetime. —Haber

Are you open to counseling if we hit a rough patch?

Knowing your partner’s willingness to seek professional assistance indicates whether you’re both committed to working through issues that arise. It’s important to know beforehand if your partner won’t go to therapy and to ask yourself if you’re okay with that. —Fehr

Is there anything about our relationship that concerns you? It takes courage to ask this question, but addressing issues honestly from the start establishes a pattern of emotional safety. Let your partner know that you’re open and willing to hear feedback. That way, if there are concerns, you’ll be able to deal with them together and grow even closer. —Fehr

6 What makes you feel loved?

What role will our families play in our lives?

Ask for speciﬁcs! Knowing how your partner feels connected to you is key to maintaining intimacy and connection in the long run. Do they feel loved when you put your hand on their leg during a movie? Or do they feel most loved when you do the dishes without being asked? Discover if they feel loved through physical touch, acts of kindness or words of encouragement. —Fehr

a life that respects where you come from but is owned the two of you and your shared and values

Family dynamics can be a mineﬁeld, but they don’t have to be. By discussing boundaries and expectations, couples can create a strong, uniﬁed front that honors both their families and their marriage. It’s about building a life that respects where you come from but is fully owned by the two of you and your shared family goals and values. —Haber

What are your dreams and ambitions?

It’s important to have a candid conversation about your individual goals and aspirations. Many couples forget to make this explicit and rely on assumptions about the future that create problems down the road. Get radically honest with each other about where you want to go as individuals to ensure that you’ll grow together as a team *while* supporting each other’s dreams. —Fehr

BONUS

Arguably one of the most important questions to ask during your engagement is also this editor’s pick: What are your thoughts on a prenup?

Will you be my...?

WHETHER YOU’RE FINISHING THIS SENTENCE WITH BRIDESMAID OR BEST MAN, HERE’S YOUR GUIDE TO PICKING YOUR (WEDDING) PARTY PEOPLE.

By Cathryn Haight

Uneven sides. Sensitive second cousins. Dresses you can or can’t shorten and wear again. It’s totally normal if hashing out the who, how and why of forming your wedding party makes your heart pound harder than it did during your proposal. (Because such public declarations of prominence and friendship aren’t really a thing otherwise—we call everyone “bestie” these days.) For the couples caught in the confusion of wedding party politics, we’re here to debunk tired rules, equip you with the right words and take the pressure off as you choose your attendants. It’s called a wedding party, after all.

ROLE CALL

Here’s a quick breakdown of common, secular wedding party roles and who usually ﬁlls them. (Remember: You can choose as many or as few of these as you’d like.)

Honor Attendants

Maid/Matron/ Man of Honor

Person of Honor

Best Man/Woman/ Person

Whotheyare: Your sibling(s) or best friend(s). You can have more than one on either side, if it feels right.

What they do: Act as your go-to person throughout the process, stand closest to you at the altar and give a speech at the wedding. They also attend and spearhead the planning of prewedding events (including communicating, delegating and often budgeting) alongside the couple’s parents, and they help with ad-hoc wedding planning tasks, if asked.

Attendants

Bridesmaids/ Bridesmen/ Bridespeople

Groomsmen/ Groomswomen/ Groomspeople Attendants (This can be used to refer to folks associated with either member of the couple, if you’d like a genderneutral option.)

Who they are: Other close pals or family members, like your steadfast college roommate or your favorite cousin who you also consider a friend.

Whattheydo: Stand up with the couple at the altar, attend and help plan prewedding events alongside the honor attendants, and ensure day-of proceedings run smoothly (while still enjoying themselves).

Junior Attendants

Junior Bridesmaids/ Bridesmen/ Bridespeople

Junior Groomsmen/ Groomswomen/ Groomspeople

Who they are: Cousins, nieces, nephews or other close family members usually between the ages of 9 and 14, but can also refer to any wedding attendant under 18.

What they do: Process down the aisle with the adult attendants and attend events like the wedding shower, but skip bach parties. These youngsters are not expected to help plan prewedding events.

Flower Girl/ Child/Pet

Who they are: A young child you’re close to (such as a niece or nephew) or child of your own between the ages of 3 and 8. Or your fur baby that would look really cute in a collar of petals. What they do: Walk down the aisle ahead of the bride or one member of the couple, gently tossing petals onto the aisle.

Ring Bearer

Who they are: A young niece/nephew/closeto-you child or child of your own between the ages of 3 and 8. What they do: Walk down the aisle after the maid of honor with the “wedding rings,” handing them to the officiant or best man at the altar.

The names of these wedding party roles are merely suggestions. If it feels right to call your group something more inclusive like “bridefolks,” “groomshumans” or simply “wedding attendants,” go for it.

THINGS TO CONSIDER WITH KIDS

If you’d like a little one under 3 to be a ring bearer or ﬂower child, enlist a parent of that child, family member or usher to carry or escort them down the aisle.

You can have more than one ﬂower child or ring bearer, but we recommend no more than two of each, as extra children could get chaotic.

Some children are prone to stage fright or outbursts (it gets all of us sometimes). If that’s the case, think about another way to make them feel special that doesn’t involve having all eyes on them—like giving them a ﬂower to wear on their suit or in their hair.

Do not, under any circumstances, let the ring bearer carry the real rings. Keep them safe in the pocket of a trusted honor attendant.

Crunching the Numbers

ACCORDING TO THE KNOT 2023 REAL WEDDINGS STUDY, THE AVERAGE SIZE OF A WEDDING PARTY IS EIGHT PEOPLE—USUALLY AN EVEN SPLIT WITH FOUR ON EACH SIDE. THAT SAID, THERE’S NO PRESSURE TO STICK TO THE STATUS QUO OR EVEN MATCH YOUR NUMBER OF ATTENDANTS TO YOUR PARTNER’S. HERE’S HOW TO NAIL YOUR NUMBER.

Consider your wedding’s formality level: Usually, the fancier the nuptials, the bigger the wedding party, and vice versa for smaller affairs. Again, just use this as a benchmark.

Try an old-school rule: If you’re stumped on where to start, traditional wedding experts say that there should be one attendant on each side for every 50 guests. See what that number is for you, then add or subtract people until it feels right.

Go by wedding size: For an event with under 60 guests, four attendants max on each side is a good threshold; a wedding with 150+ attendees can handle 10 or so wedding party members on each side.

Think about your budget: You’re responsible for some attendant-related expenses, like thank-you gifts, bouquets and boutonnieres, transportation to and from the venue, accommodations (if you’re choosing to share a hotel suite with your wedding party the night before) and even hair and makeup. If having more than a handful of attendants would stretch your budget, keep the number low.

Prioritize people: Try not to have a number in your head initially. Instead, think about the people you want by your side.

BIG

CREW

or Just a Few IS A BIG OR SMALL WEDDING PARTY RIGHT FOR YOU? LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

Big Wedding Party Pros

You can include everyone if you have multiple friend groups. There are more folks to help with planning tasks. More people might foster a high-energy and celebratory vibe.

Small Wedding Party Pros

It’s easier to organize events around fewer people’s schedules.

Your overall wedding party expenses will be lower, or you’ll be able to cover additional expenses for your attendants.

It feels more intimate, with a focus on quality time and connection.

How to Choose Your Party People

The best way to choose your wedding party is the same method that helped you ﬁnd your partner: follow your heart. Your wedding party members shouldn’t just be those you have the longest history with, but rather the people you’re conﬁdent you can depend on today, tomorrow and for years to come. We know there can be some concerns as you think this through—and tons of questions. Should you ask someone who asked you? What about a friend who didn’t include you in their wedding party, but with whom you’re now thick as thieves? Below, we’re giving you even more queries, but in a good way. These questions will help you do some honest introspection and assemble a supportive wedding party that stands the test of time.

IN GENERAL:

Do you have siblings with whom you share a positive relationship? How would you like to include them? Starting with siblings might make things easier, since they’re often good candidates for honor attendants and might be people you’d like to ask regardless. You don’t have to include all of your siblings either if there are more than a couple or if some are estranged. Trust your gut, then gut check with a parent or your partner if needed.

What’s your sibling-in-law situation? If your partner has a sibling who you feel close to, save them a spot. You’re not obligated to ask a future in-law if you don’t share a close connection, but it can be a nice gesture as your families come together.

What do you expect of your wedding party?

What level of time commitment and communication do you anticipate needing from the members of your wedding party? Are you looking for an extra sounding board on wedding decisions? Or more of a “show up and celebrate” vibe? Are there any friends, cousins, etc. who you’re close to, but might not have the bandwidth to be in your wedding party? If someone is knee-deep in a graduate degree, contending with young children or in a similarly all-consuming phase of life, they might be worried about ﬁnding enough time to be present if asked to be in your wedding party. If you know someone like this, have an honest check-in chat where you make it clear that they should be forthright and let you know if the role

would be a tough commitment. And while you can deﬁnitely give someone a little leeway in terms of responsibilities, other members of the wedding party will have to pick up the slack, which doesn’t always feel fair.

ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS:

Were you in their wedding?

You’re not required to ask someone to be in your wedding party just because they asked you (especially if you feel like the relationship dynamic has shifted), but it’s still something to consider.

Are they responsible?

While being in a wedding party shouldn’t feel like a second job, there are a few tasks and to-dos a wedding party member will have to tackle. Everyone you choose should be dependable, so all of the planning and organizing is divided evenly. Assign your ﬂaky (but beloved) friend a less intense role.

Will you be close to this person in 10 years?

This is a great gut-check question. Obviously life happens sometimes, but prioritize including people you truly think will be in your life going forward. Will having this person by your side make your wedding and everything leading up to it more special?

Getting to the heart of the matter, this is the most important criterion for choosing your wedding party. You want folks with good energy who are excited to celebrate and support you every step of the way.

even is overrated

Don’t feel pressure to have the same number of attendants on both sides of the altar—just make sure there’s enough room for everyone to stand beside you comfortably. Here are some ideas on how to position an uneven wedding party.

Seat them. Seated wedding parties are trending (and are great for long ceremonies like a Catholic mass). Reserve the front row for your attendants to sit and view the ceremony, keeping the focus on you and your partner at the altar.

Stagger them. You can position the larger side of the wedding party in two rows, with the ﬁrst row seated or the second row elevated on a stair, depending on your ceremony venue’s setup.

Embrace asymmetry. Yes, part of your wedding is about stunning visuals, but don’t let optics deter you from having everyone important standing up there with you— symmetrical sides be damned.

The Wedding Party Pickle:

SHOULD YOU GIVE FRIENDS WHO AREN’T IN THE WEDDING PARTY A HEADS-UP?

This is perhaps the most contested topic when it comes to wedding parties—and for good reason. No engaged couple wants to feel like they have to explain their wedding-related decisions, and no one on the receiving end wants to feel excluded or blindsided. If you have an approach to this conversation that you think would work well, use it—you know this person best. But if not, here’s some advice.

In short, you don’t have to tell someone outright that they were not chosen for your wedding party. However, this situation is super nuanced. So the best rule of thumb is: Don’t make it a big deal, but don’t keep it a secret. Mention that you’ve proposed to your wedding party already the next time you hang out or chat on the phone, tell them who’s in it, then move on to other topics. This ensures: 1.) They hear the news from you 2.) It doesn’t come off as some big speech about why they weren’t chosen 3.) They’re clued in on what’s happening with your wedding, as a friend should be 4.) They have space to circle back and discuss it (if they want) without feeling put on the spot.

Be ready to be kind, considerate, open and honest if they choose to talk through your decision. It’s your wedding, but it’s also your friendship.

Special Treatment

THERE’S ENOUGH LOVE TO GO AROUND. HERE ARE A FEW WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS, SIBLINGS-IN-LAW OR

Ask them to read during the ceremony. One bride we know asked her two closest college friends to give readings during her ceremony, as she selected bridesmaids only from her childhood friend group. This is such a meaningful direction to go in. If you’re open to texts beyond traditional religious passages like Bible verses or those from the Vedas, you can ask them if they have any poems or prose that they love and would be excited to share.

FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T ATTENDANTS FEEL INCLUDED.

Assign them an usher role. Ushers greet guests as they arrive at the ceremony and hand out programs for the proceedings. This role is perfect for someone chatty and friendly—and you can (and maybe should) have multiple ushers if your guest list is long. These folks will be called out in your program and could be given corsages or boutonnieres to wear to signify their status.

Include them in the fun. Sometimes, the best special job is to be a party person. Especially if your group of attendants is small, asking some extra pals to attend a non-giftgiving event like the bach party is a great way to show them you’re excited to celebrate by their side. Plus, they don’t have to help plan the event, just show up ready to party.

Plan for some group photos. Tip off your photographer that you’d like to get some group shots of you and your different friend groups at the reception. Whether it’s the classic “hold up the college banner” pose with your university crew or a giggly snap with your “book club babes,” prioritizing a group photo will show folks how much it means to have them there.

WEDDING PARTY RELATIONS

Keep the communication (and the good times) rolling between you and your wedding party with these top tips from Esther Lee, The Knot deputy editor and a pro-level bridesmaid. First and foremost, Lee says: “Lead with gratitude, love and light. That shine goes a long way and will contribute to the joy on your wedding day and beyond.”

Keep the communication (and the times) between you and your

party of two

1. Be honest about the ﬁnancial and time commitment involved. “The biggest pitfalls I’ve seen couples fall into with their wedding parties are related to personal cost,” says Lee. “Be clear about the anticipated lift, whether that includes taking X amount of days off to attend your bach party or the price of international ﬂights and libations for other activities. That’s the nice thing to do.”

2. Keep your heart open and spirit up, especially during any miscommunications. “Conversations with clarity, kindness and a level of mutual respect (and care) will beneﬁt the wedding party mentally,” says Lee. “Talking things out kindly and respectfully will take everyone far. It also makes the entire process more enjoyable.”

3. Don’t hide behind your MOH or best man. “Nobody wants to be the middleman, nor do you want to put your bestie in a predicament when it comes to cascading personal information,” says Lee. “If you want to use your attendant of honor as a liaison, then be thoughtful about when they should step in. Sure, it can be

helpful with facilitating requests, but like any good coach, direct communication regarding a playbook (or wedding plans) shouldn’t come from a teammate (even the captain), but the leader.”

4. Make your friendships a priority during this you-centric time. “I liken successful communication to watering a plant. You’ll want to use this time to ‘water’ your friends with kindness and care throughout the entire experience,” says Lee. She says wedding party “proposal” gifts are a great gesture to make your party people feel special, but words of affirmation also go a long way. You could write them in a personal letter before the festivities or in a postwedding thank-you note. Referencing a letter she received from her best friend, Lee says: “It made me think about everything we’d experienced together and how meaningful it was for me to be by her side on her wedding day.”

5. Let your people embrace their talents. “Some of the best wedding planning experiences for me have been when there were point people to ‘own’ various parts of the event,” says Lee. Divide and conquer for a well-oiled wedding party. “Your friends have talents, so talk to them about how they may want to help with your prewedding events. One may be excellent at managing spreadsheets, while another has creative ideas for bach decor. Lean into their strengths.”

So you don’t want a wedding party. Maybe you’re not keen to put friendships under a magnifying glass, or maybe you just want your friends to kick back and enjoy the festivities without showing up early or planning a bach weekend. (Perhaps you don’t want any prewedding events at all.) Whatever the reason, it’s valid. And while you truly don’t need to explain yourself to others when it comes to your wedding, it can still be helpful to have some conversation points in your back pocket to politely dispel any inquiries. Here are some ideas on what to say, depending on who asks.

to your it can still be to have some conversation in your back to any Here are some ideas on what to party with these top from

For friends: “We decided not to have an official wedding party so our close friends can just focus on showing up and celebrating without any extra ﬁnancial or time commitment. Our friendship is so special to me, and I’m excited to spend some quality time with you before and during the wedding.”

For family: “We’re actually not having an official wedding party. There are so many friends and family members we feel close to—we would’ve had most of the guest list standing up there with us if we had one! We love you and can’t wait to celebrate together on the day.”

For acquaintances: “We didn’t choose a wedding party because we want to keep things casual and let our loved ones focus on relaxing and celebrating.”

A Friendly Reminder

Weddings can bring out a lot of weird social pressure. And if you don’t have tight-knit high school pals or a slew of sorority sisters (this writer doesn’t), you might feel weird about wedding parties. As we all know, social media isn’t what it seems, so don’t let photos of big color-coordinated friend groups or blowout bach parties upset you, though we know that’s easier said than done. Your wedding is about you and your relationship—please don’t let anything distract or detract from that. *Hugs.*

Petals and Ponies

It’s a dating-app tale as old as time: Boy SuperSwipes on girl, girl shows screenshots of boy’s profile to her friends, the couple matches and lives happily ever after. But in the case of Rachel DeMuro (30, a home organization specialist) and Steven (Steve) Sadlon (34, a vice president at a benefits consulting firm), there were some hurdles before that last step. The pair met right before the pandemic and, to top it off, Steve was soon moving from Washington, DC—where he and Rachel lived at the time—to Connecticut.

“I was like, ‘Of course. Finally found a guy I’m actually interested in, and he’s moving,’ ” says Rachel. The pair’s love bloomed despite the logistics. It began with a taco-takeout first date, when they were so caught up in conversation at Rachel’s house that Steve missed DC’s COVID curfew, and blossomed over long visits between Connecticut and DC (thank you, remote work). While the couple has plenty of happy memories from early in their relationship, Steve says that navigating hardships, like the pandemic, is what really brought them together. Rachel’s ability to roll with challenges made him know he wanted to marry her. “I knew we found something to last a lifetime,” he says.

When it came time to propose, Steve drew inspiration from the other love of Rachel’s life: horseback riding. Alongside Rachel’s favorite horse, Gameboy, Steve popped the question with a marquise-shape black diamond during a trail ride. The proposal took place at the farm where she trains for equestrian competitions—a passion of hers since age 7.

Horses, therefore, played a role in the theme of the couple’s wedding on June 3, 2023. Rachel and Steve entrusted Jessica Ashley Events to plan the 140-person fete after seeing the planner in action at a friend’s nuptials. And the pro wove in the equestrian elements even before the main event: An elegant welcome dinner peppered with pony details gave guests a glimpse of the wedding-day theme.

For her wedding, Rachel always imagined an intimate, immersive outdoor space bursting with blooms and weaving in subtle nods

FRESH FLOWERS WERE THE FOCAL POINT OF THIS “SECRET GARDEN” WEDDING WITH EQUESTRIAN ACCENTS IN LEESBURG, VIRGINIA.

RACHEL & STEVEN

Story by Cathryn Haight

Photography by Molly Lichten Photography

Equine Elegance

The

modernequestrian aesthetic

venue’s

nodded to Rachel’s love of horses.

to her horses. After the venue walk-through, the pair knew that Fleetwood Farm Winery in Leesburg, Virginia, was the perfect fit for what they describe as a “secret garden meets modern equestrian” aesthetic.

White peonies and pink roses cascading over a pergola greeted guests upon arrival—a wink at the wonder to come. “We wanted to give people an idea of what they were going to see, but keep all the good stuff hidden,” says Rachel. This built anticipation before loved ones laid eyes on the dramatic rustic ceremony space. Thoughtful touches awaited attendees right outside the entrance to the ceremony area, like an infused-water station and chilled towels to stave off the heat. A welcome table displayed photos of dearly departed loved ones like Rachel’s paternal grandparents, her maternal grandmother and Steve’s sister.

The couple also shared special moments of their own ahead of the ceremony. They exchanged personal notes and gifts—a necklace for her, two kinds of bourbon for him—and Rachel had a first look with her father before he walked her down the aisle. The couple’s own first look in their wedding attire would come at the start of the ceremony. “Steve and I did not have a first look,” says Rachel. “We discussed it but decided not to, as we wanted the moment to be special and felt by everyone.”

What awaited inside the walled, greenhouse-like ceremony space was simply enchanting. Delicate vines, strands of greenery and white flowers like larkspur,

All our friends and family came together as one and it was special to see. New friendships were made— as well as a new family.

snapdragons and foxgloves hung from the transparent ceiling and mirrored the tufts of baby’s breath and white roses that flanked the aisle. The couple met to say their vows under a pergola decked out with hydrangeas, peonies and delphiniums in vivid hues of pink, purple and blue.

“Steve and I wanted a short, meaningful ceremony to celebrate with all our guests who traveled to be with us that day,” says Rachel. The couple kept their loved ones top of mind during the proceedings and included a tribute to Steve’s absent grandparents. Rachel also wore her grandfather’s black-and-gold ring, which matched her engagement ring, wedding stationery and reception palette. “He’s no longer with us, so it was really special to have something of

Pop the Bubbly

A postceremony pink-champagne toast led to even more of the fizzy stuff during cocktail hour.

Wedding Date June 3, 2023

Ceremony + Reception Site

Fleetwood Farm Winery, Leesburg, VA

Photography

Molly Lichten

Photography

Videography

Altamira Weddings

Event Planning

Jessica Ashley Events

Floral Design

Flowers: Darling and Daughters; trees: Plants Alive!

Officiant

Ceremony Officiants

Gown + Veil

Ava Laurénne Bride

Tuxedo

Emporio Armani

Shoes

Rachel: Bella Belle; Steve: Stacy Adams

Accessories

Rachel: Dareth Colburn;

Steve: Otaa Bow Ties; Ox & Bull

Engagement Ring

Leibish Jewelry

Wedding Rings

Rachel: Adeler

Jewelers; Steve: Mervis Diamond Importers

Hair + Makeup

MAB Artistry

Wedding Party Attire

Bridesmaids: Azazie; groomsmen: The Black Tux

Stationery

Emily Baird Design

Decor + Rentals

BBJ La Tavola; Blissful Design + Decor; DC

Rental; Lindale Studios; Maison De Carine; Select Event Group; Something Vintage

Catering + Desserts

Design Cuisine; Biscuit Batch

Cake

Fluffy Thoughts Cake

Music

Dan Goldman Events

Champagne Server

Tip Top Tap Truck

Welcome Bags

Cameron’s Coffee & Chocolates; Hannah Roberts Shop; The Hickory Rose

Transportation Dulles Limousine

Modern Monochrome

The couple embraced a mostly white palette for their reception flowers to contrast with their vibrant ceremony blooms.

his involved in the wedding,” she says.

After the “I dos,” attendees migrated to the patio and barrel room to sip signature cocktails: a modern old-fashioned for Steve and a French kiss (gin, prosecco, elderflower, lemon and strawberry) for Rachel. Guests could also grab a flute of pink bubbly from a woman donning a “champagne dress,” which arranges the glasses in a tiered, wearable skirt holder. Hors d’oeuvres included warm lobster rolls with Old Bay chips, a guest favorite and a tribute to the pair’s East Coast upbringings. The abundant appetizers felt more like a dinner than a cocktail hour, echoing the big meals Rachel shares with her Italian family. “The food just kept on coming,” she says. An equestrian-inspired escort-card dis-

play depicted a graphic of a jumping course and award ribbons and guided guests to their seats. At the reception, the food and flowers continued. Clouds of baby’s breath and hydrangeas floated above guests’ heads, while centerpieces of varying shapes and double-height floral arrangements by the dance floor finished the look. Frosty gray and gold custom bar inserts complemented the tinted, fluted glassware that brought interest to the tables. Places were soon set with plates of Angus tenderloin and Moroccanspiced chickpea cakes.

The couple shared a sweet first dance to Leon Bridges’ “Beyond,” a song Steve’s brother and sister-in-law introduced the pair to. Then they sliced into the three-tier wedding cake: two vanilla layers filled with passion-fruit curd, blackberry Italian meringue buttercream and fresh blackberries, and an almond layer with hazelnut buttercream filling.

For the Road

The pair sent guests home with tasty favors: “farewell biscuits” from a food truck.

After everyone danced to classic and country tunes, the reception concluded with Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family,” a “DeMuro

classic that’s been played at every family wedding at the end of the night.” It was a fitting tribute to what made the day so special for Rachel and Steve—not the petals or the ponies, but the people. “All our friends and family came together as one, and it was special to see,” says Rachel. “New friendships were made—as well as a new family.”

Turkish Delight

AFTER MEETING THROUGH FAMILY, THIS COUPLE PLANNED A DESTINATION WEDDING THAT CELEBRATED THEIR CLOSEST LOVED ONES.

Story by Hannah Nowack

by Christina McNeill RAUSHANI & ANOSH

Have you ever read a spellbinding book that somehow manages to get even more captivating with every page? The relationship and wedding of Raushani Zahoor (23, a luxury department store assistant manager) and Anosh Lokasher (25, a global systems analyst who works in IT) is the real-life version of a bestselling novel.

Even the couple’s meet-cute seems to have come straight from the romance shelves. Anosh’s older brother and Raushani’s older sister wed in 2019 and, unwittingly, planted the seeds for their siblings’ grand love story.

Raushani is from Ireland and Anosh is from Manchester, England. Before the first family wedding, Anosh visited Ireland to practice a choreographed dance that he would perform with the bride’s family (whom he didn’t realize would one day become his in-laws).

While there, he and Raushani fatefully bonded over doughnuts in Raushani’s hometown, where a 24-hour Krispy Kreme shop had recently opened. “We ended up sneaking out in the middle of the night to go get doughnuts without telling anyone,” recalls Anosh. And that sugary excursion was the beginning of a sweet relationship.

Although an in-person dessert date kicked things off, Raushani and Anosh then dated long-distance during the pandemic. Physical separation often tests relationships, but for Raushani and Anosh, it cemented their love. “We were unable to see each other for multiple months during the pandemic,” recalls Anosh, who longed to be with Raushani.

Photography

“That’s when I knew she was the one for me.”

Despite navigating travel restrictions during those early days, the couple quickly made up for lost time with a memorable trip to Turkey for Raushani’s birthday in 2022. Anosh worked with Marigold Design House (which the couple later hired for the wedding) to set up a special outdoor dinner with candles and roses. It was there, against a backdrop of the Bosphorus strait, that he proposed. A year later, the couple returned to Istanbul to tie the knot.

Selecting Istanbul for the wedding had less to do with the proposal and more to do with a long-held dream of Raushani’s. She recalls that she had always wanted to get a nikkah (Islamic marriage contract) read in a mosque in Istanbul. She had often spoken with her late uncle, with whom she was close and who died in 2021, about one day getting married in Turkey. A businessman with professional ties to Turkey, he was always asking colleagues for suggestions about the best places in the country for a wedding. Raushani recalls that when loved ones passed along their condolences, they often said, “Your uncle would have loved to be the first person at your wedding.” Raushani was adamant the wedding take place in Istanbul to honor him.

And so in August 2023, Raushani and Anosh (who now live together in the United Kingdom) welcomed 110 loved ones to Istanbul for a three-event wedding that kicked off on the 27th with the nikkah at Dolmabahce Mosque. It nearly didn’t happen, however, because the mosque they had booked canceled on them a mere five days before the wedding. Thankfully, they found an accommodating replacement and were able to go ahead with the religious ceremony, which is required for a Muslim couple to be legally wed under Islamic law.

The bride says that the intimate event was especially emotional since the nikkah is “the main wedding function in our culture.” In keeping with the private atmosphere, the couple had a family-only lunch afterward.

The following day the couple hosted their mehndi at Six Senses Kocatas Mansions, whose sweeping Bosphorus views were reminiscent of Anosh’s proposal. Anosh says that this was especially memorable, as the mehndi “consists of choreographed dancing, colorful decorations and outfits, informal vibes and a whole lot of fun.”

Raushani and Anosh wanted the mehndi decor to surprise them. They gave their design team a general direction and a short list of dos and don’ts but otherwise entrust-

Wedding planning can get overwhelming. However, everything leads up to your perfect special day and it passes in the blink of an eye.

Family Function Immediately following the nikkah, Raushani and Anosh celebrated with an intimate family lunch.

Officially Wed Raushani explains that the nikkah is a religious ceremony for a Muslim couple to be legally wed under Islamic Law. “During the nikkah, the couple officially says ‘I Accept,’ in front of at least two witnesses and an imam.”

ed them with the visual direction. Inspired by concepts that Anosh’s architect brother, Muneeb Lokasher, suggested, the designers settled on a vibrant palette with lots of fruit accents. And yes, Muneeb is the same brother whose wedding brought Raushani and Anosh together. Bringing the story full circle, he was heavily involved in planning the celebration in Turkey.

Looking back, Anosh says the mehndi was his favorite part of the bash, since “everyone

Brilliant Bazaar

The grand bazaars of Turkey inspired the colorful palette of the mehndi decor.

their guests for coming. This was a departure from tradition, as it’s customary at many Muslim weddings for the couple to sit on the stage and take everything in, as opposed to interacting with attendees. But with family as a top priority, they wanted to ensure that they could mingle with everyone.

was involved and nobody held back.” One especially memorable moment was the surprise dance that Anosh and his mother did in honor of his late grandfather.

The multiday celebration concluded with a reception at Six Senses on August 29. While it was a bit more formal than the mehndi, Raushani and Anosh still wanted the entire thing to feel lighthearted and personal.

As they had done the night before, the couple made sure to walk around and thank

Not only did Raushani and Anosh want their guests to feel the love, but those in attendance also sought to shower the newlyweds with adoration. Anosh recalls that a few guests surprised them with lovely, heartfelt speeches.

Even the dinner menu placed a special emphasis on family. The couple served a mezze menu, which is a tradition in Middle Eastern culture. “This form of dining is kept informal to cement the bond of two families coming together by sharing food,” they say. Also on the menu? Coca-cola.

Many Muslim weddings include a tradition known as doodh pilai, which is a milk-drink-

Wedding Date August 27–29, 2023

Ceremony Site

Dolmabahce Mosque, Istanbul

Reception Site Six Senses

Kocatas Mansions, Istanbul

Photography Christina McNeill

Event Planning, Design + Stationery

Marigold Design House

Floral Design Yunus Karma

Raushani’s Attire

Ali Xeeshan; Tena Durrani

Anosh’s Attire

Mehr Khan; Moss Bros Shoes

Raushani: Paris Texas; Manolo Blahnik; Zuruj; Anosh: Christian Louboutin

Accessories Raushani: Anayah Jewellery; Bukhari Accessories; Zaheen Kamran; Anosh: Boss; Cartier

Engagement + Wedding Rings

Steven Stone Jewellers

Hair + Makeup

Sobbia Afshan

Catering Six Senses

Kocatas Mansions

Rentals

Binary Star

DJ Irf

On the Fly

The couple shared an improvised first dance to “Thoda Thoda

by Stebin Ben. After forgetting to select a song, they chose this number at the last minute because they liked how it talks about slowly falling in love.

Pyaar”

ing ceremony. However, the couple “made a slight change to this and did ‘Coke Pilai,’ as it was the only drink we had left,” explains Anosh. As part of this ritual, the sisters of the bride offer a decorated glass to the groom. After drinking its contents, the groom gifted his sisters and sisters-in-law gold earrings to complete the tradition.

The couple’s DJ kept the fun cross-family interactions going with a spur-of-themoment dance-off later in the evening. “A member from each party had to come in the middle of the dance floor and bust a move,” recalls Raushani. “Every single member participated, and the little kids stole the show.” At the end of the night, the couple jumped into the venue’s infinity pool as the grand finale.

While a wedding this picturesque might seem perfect, Raushani recalls that the lead-up to it was anything but. Due to the couple’s relatively short engagement, planning was a “very hectic and stressful experience. There were a lot of hiccups on the way, with disagreements in some areas as there were multiple people involved in the planning process with different visions.” However, in the end, the couple brought all their visions to life. To other to-be-weds Raushani imparts this wisdom: “It definitely gets incredibly overwhelming, and you may have multiple breakdowns throughout the process, but everything leads up to your perfect special day. Even on your wedding day, make sure you are enjoying every single moment and not stressing about what is happening in the middle table, because it will pass in the blink of an eye.”

Mezze Meal The couple chose a mezze menu because it is a “dining style that truly brings people together,” says Raushani.

Texas Hold ’Em

EVER WONDERED WHAT THE WEDDING OF A PROFESSIONAL STATIONERY DESIGNER

LOOKS LIKE? FOR THIS LONGHORN, THE DESIGN EXPERTLY INCORPORATED AN ELEVATED INTERPRETATION OF THE ICONIC UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS ORANGE.

TAYLOR & BRAD

Story by Hannah Nowack | Photography by Ruét Photo

“Hook ’em” isn’t just Taylor Eisenberg (29, a stationery designer) and Bradley (Brad) Resh’s (28, a mechanical engineer) college slogan. It also describes their relationship: The two were hooked on each other from the start, when they bonded in psych class and never looked back.

Although they dated throughout their time at The University of Texas at Austin, their relationship became long-distance upon graduation. As challenging as it was, Taylor recalls that “being apart from each other really cemented our relationship, and we knew we wanted to be together forever. During those years, all we wanted was to simply live life together—go grocery shopping, do laundry together—things that to this day we enjoy doing together and don’t take for granted.”

After a few years of long-distance dating, Taylor moved back to Austin, and the couple soon got engaged. The proposal—which involved an heirloom pear-shape diamond that Taylor’s grandfather presented to her grandmother many decades earlier—took place on a family trip to Fire Island, New York. At the time, Taylor and Brad were in the process of getting a chocolate lab puppy named Whiskey, who was then only a few weeks old. As they waited for Whiskey to come home with them, the breeder regularly sent photos of the dog. On this particular day, Brad remarked to Taylor that a new photo of Whiskey had come through on his phone. Only this one was different—a sign reading “Will you marry me?” accompanied the adorable lab. As Taylor took in the image, Brad dropped to one knee and proposed.

Brad is from Houston and Taylor is from New York, but Austin is where their love bloomed and the couple now calls home so the decision to wed there was an easy one.

The

kicked off their wedding weekend with a Western-themed welcome party befitting the

Giddy Up

couple

Austin locale.

At one point during dinner, we stopped to look at each other and scan the room. Seeing all of our favorite people in one room together, under one roof, laughing, dancing and loving each other was overwhelmingly special.

The couple selected The Addison Grove for their wedding. As a bonus, the venue has longhorn cattle on the property that were a fun callback to the couple’s college meetcute (as longhorns are the UT Austin mascot).

For the April 14, 2024 “rustic elegant” wedding, Taylor and Brad wanted the space to feel warm and inviting, “similar to how our home feels when you walk in the door.”

The couple settled on a sage and tangerine color palette to complement the cozy aesthetic. The former is Taylor’s favorite color: She loves it so much that she

named her stationery business Sage and Sea Ink. “I always knew sage green and gold or champagne would be the main colors of the palette,” says Taylor. “Since we met at UT Austin, I wanted to incorporate orange in some way, but burnt orange felt too falltoned, and since our wedding was in the spring, we opted for peach and tangerine with pops of yellow and white to soften and round everything out. It was more beautiful in person than I ever could have imagined.”

Prior to their Sunday ceremony, the couple kicked off the weekend with a Shabbat dinner on Friday and a welcome party on Saturday evening. In true Texas fashion, the theme was “Boots, BBQ and Bourbon.” To hint at the boot-scootin’ good time that was in store, the wedding invitations included a die-cut insert resembling a cowboy boot that provided all the details for the prewedding event. Appropriately, Taylor and Brad showed up to their “Resh Rodeo” welcome dinner (inspired by the groom’s last name) clad in bedazzled and dark leather cowboy boots respectively. (Brad also donned a bolo tie and cowboy hat.) “To say I’ve been mentally designing our wedding stationery since before we were engaged would not entirely be a lie,” remarks Taylor. Taylor’s stationery business regularly designs wedding invitations for other to-beweds, but this time she dreamed up creative details for her own special day. Westerninspired typography on the boot card reappeared in the day-of stationery and brought cohesion to the rustic fete.

Taylor also cleverly created a booklet, included in the invitation suite, to help guests choose outfits for the wedding weekend. “Whether the dress code indicated

on an invitation is unclear or not included, nothing’s worse than not knowing what to wear to an event,” Taylor says. “This attire booklet was probably one of the first ideas I had when brainstorming the elements of our invitation suite. I worked with a watercolor artist to create portraits of us in sample outfits for each event’s requested attire, with whimsical blurbs at the bottom.” The wedding day illustration showcased Brad in a tux and Taylor in a floor-length blue dress. “Ladies: Got your eye on a fancy dress? Here’s your excuse to wear it. Gents: Dust off that tux and let’s get snazzy,” read the caption. The full suite was nestled in a sage-green envelope with a custom-printed liner. Its personalized toile-inspired pattern,

Wild and Whimsical

The couple’s floral designs mixed dahlias, poppies, ranunculus, roses, stock, sweet peas and tulips.

Wedding Date April 14, 2024

Ceremony + Reception Site

The Addison Grove, Austin, TX

Photography Ruét Photo

Videography

The Crakes

Event Planning + Design

Hawthrone & Poppy Events

Floral Design

Remi & Gold

Officiants

Rabbi Irwin Zeplowitz and Cantor Claire Franco

Welcome Party Attire

Taylor: Herve Leger;

Brad: JoS. A. Bank; Levi’s; Stetson; Tecovas

Gown

Rita Vinieris

Veil

Toni Federici

Tuxedo

Rocky’s Custom Clothes

Shoes

Taylor: Badgley Mischka; Brad: Suitsupply

Engagement Ring

Steven Eliot Designs

Wedding Rings

Elias Diamond Cutting

Hair & Makeup

Hannah Zahner

Stationery

Invitations and day-of stationery: Sage and Sea Ink; ketubah calligraphy: Stephanie Caplan; ketubah border design: Mary Hills

Rentals

Bastian Event Rentals; BBJ La Tavola; Bee Lavish Event Rentals; Bright Event Rentals; Mike’s Dance Floor Rentals; Table Manners

Neon Sign

JustuNeon

Catering

SoHo Catering & Consulting

Cake

Olive + Aries

Desserts

The Churro Burro ATX; SoHo Catering & Consulting

Music

The Drywater Band

Photo Booth

Pixster Photo Booths

Dance Lessons

Dance With Me

Transportation Around Austin

which Taylor collaborated on with a friend, was made up of sketches of things meaningful to the couple: Whiskey the dog, Austin landmarks and the wedding venue. “We also used the pattern throughout our day-of signage and decor—most notably as the epic dance floor wrap,” says Taylor. Some other stationery highlights? Custom napkins that said “Taylor and Brad Got Hooked,” as a nod to UT Austin, and escort cards held up by mini gold cowboy-boot figurines.

It was a tall order for the rest of the decor to live up to Taylor’s amazing stationery. But the wedding day’s designs were just as whimsical. “We wanted an elevated Texas feel for the overall design,” says Taylor. “Something that was relaxed yet sophisticated and represented both of us.”

They say that everything’s bigger in Texas, and that was certainly the case for the couple’s wedding party. Taylor and Brad’s guest list included 150 people, 17 of whom made up the wedding party. But the real MVPs were the couple’s grandparents, who played an important role throughout the wedding. “We are both very close with our grandmothers and wanted to honor them in

a special way, so we decided to have them be our flower girls,” says Taylor. “They met each other for the first time at our engagement party and have since become great friends. They are both similar in many ways: They have the same New York accent, love watching the same type of movies and, while shopping for their outfits for our wedding day, independently picked the exact same dress.”

To further honor family matriarchs, Taylor wore the same earrings her mother did on her wedding day (and that she received from her own grandmother, Taylor’s great-grandmother and namesake). Brad, meanwhile, accessorized his tux with white opal cuff links passed down from his maternal grandfather.

The couple also celebrated their bond. In Brad’s vows to Taylor, he shared: “We didn’t meet as adults, mesh perfectly, have an ‘aha’ moment where we finally found our person

that was meant for us all along. Instead, we met as naive 18-year-olds, nothing like who we are today, and we grew up together. We’re not like a custom-made suit or dress, crafted perfectly to fit the other. We’re more like leather boots that maybe didn’t quite fit at first but over time are worn in and are more comfortable than any new pair of shoes could dream of.”

Taylor, in her words for Brad, said: “One of the first conversations we had, I told you that you gave great hugs. At the time, I didn’t think much of it further than that. But it’s still true: Your hugs are the best. Looking back, I can tell you now exactly what I was feeling in that very first moment. What I’ve felt every day in your arms for the past 10 years. Support, safety, peace, love, home. Two puzzle pieces fitting together. You are my perfect puzzle piece. My perfect pair, my soulmate.”

Dancing Fuel

Guests noshed on churros and cookies throughout the high-energy evening.

Can’t Help Falling in Love

A JOKE TURNED INTO A ROMANTIC ELOPEMENT IN LAS VEGAS.

ALANDA & KAYLA

Story by Chapelle Johnson

Photography by Lauren Rae Photography

Having fun and doing what’s true to them have always been paramount for Alanda Hilborn (32, a nanny) and Kayla Grattan (30, a surface water technician). Unknowingly, this shared mindset would one day make them soulmates. Alanda and Kayla met in 2021 on Bumble, where Alanda saw a picture of Kayla posing in a truck pool. It’s exactly what it sounds like: an inflatable pool in a truck bed. “She immediately caught my eye, and I messaged first asking for an invite to the truck pool party,” recalls Alanda. Soon after, the two had their first date at a bar and talked for hours. “For our third round of drinks, we ordered cocktails that came in souvenir cups. Already smitten, I thought, ‘Perfect! This will come in handy for anniversary celebrations,’ ” says Alanda.

From then on, the inseparable duo knew their bond was forever. “Kayla and I met right before the Fourth of July, so during one of our first dates, I jokingly broke into ‘Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue’ by Toby Keith. When Kayla immediately joined in, I knew I wanted to marry her. Her willingness to lean into my jokes is still one of my favorite things about her,” says Alanda.

After being together for two years, both Alanda and Kayla felt it was the right time to propose. Last January, they took a weekend getaway to Olympic National Park in Port Angeles, Washington—a place they love almost a three-hour drive from their Seattle home. “I nervously proposed to Kayla on a cold but sunny afternoon on the beach, and Kayla proposed to me the following day on a dock on the Puget Sound,” Alanda says.

Once the engagement celebrations were over, they started thinking about their wed-

Wedding Date

June 20, 2024

Ceremony Site + Officiant

Little White Chapel, Las Vegas

Photography

Lauren Rae

Photography

Floral Design Roots Flowers & Events

Alanda’s Attire Eloquii

Kayla’s Attire

Dickies; Wildfang

Accessories

Alanda: Free People; heirloom; Kayla: heirloom

Shoes

Alanda: Cole Haan; Kayla: Dr. Martens

Wedding Rings

Alanda: Fred Meyer; Kayla: AntEva Crafts

Cake

Winston Marie Cakes

Wedding Remix “I didn’t just want a wedding with her. I wanted a marriage with her. Eloping was the perfect start to the rest of our lives together,” says Alanda.

ding destination. “After months of brainstorming how we wanted to get married, I jokingly suggested eloping in Vegas, and the joke stuck. As a couple who lives and dies by a good bit, Las Vegas felt like a perfect fit for us. It drew us in by being classic, sentimental, lighthearted and campy. The Little White Chapel’s Drive-thru Tunnel of Love ceremony—officiated by Elvis—was too fun to pass up,” says Kayla. The location played a big part in their theme of “retro Vegas kitsch or eclectic-romantic,” which they incorporated in their florals, wedding attire and photography style. Alanda and Kayla leaned into classic elements already at the Little White Chapel, like red hearts, glitter, cherries and cherubs against a playful monochromatic palette of dark reds, vibrant pinks and deep rusts. “We ended up feeling the inspiration of those things without it being on the nose or costumelike,” says Alanda.

Their wedding location wasn’t the only unconventional aspect of their union. On June 20, 2024, instead of sticking to tradition, they spent every second before the ceremony together. “The thought process was, ‘She’s about to be my wife, so I want to hang out with her all the time, especially today,’ ” says Alanda. In the morning, the future spouses sat poolside in bikinis and read their vows to one another before the official ceremony. “One theme in each speech was something we like to call ‘heart work.’ Everyone knows that marriage takes effort, but it’s not like a 9-to-5; it’s work like a masterpiece,” says Kayla. Now remember those souvenir cups Alanda and Kayla got on their first date? They drank champagne from them before heading to the chapel.

Ready to make their elopement official, Alanda and Kayla stood before their Elvisimpersonator officiant while wearing heirlooms from Alanda’s family, Alanda in her great-grandmother’s starburst pendant and Kayla in a bolo tie belonging to Alanda’s

great-grandfather. Since they had privately exchanged vows earlier, they chose quirky Elvis-themed oaths for their ceremony at the chapel. From vowing to never step on each other’s blue suede shoes to promising never to leave one another at the Heartbreak Hotel, they couldn’t stop laughing throughout.

After saying “I do,” Alanda and Kayla sat in a pink convertible as Elvis sang “Viva Las Vegas.” But that wasn’t the most memorable part of their wedding day. Instead, it was the magical feeling of the city celebrating with them. Walking around downtown Las Vegas, they found a massive praying mantis art installation big enough for a person to sit inside, play music and shoot flames out of the bug’s antennae. “When the praying mantis worker saw us, he played the ‘Wedding March’ and a crowd formed a circle around us and cheered as we danced. It felt like a scene from a movie,” reminisces Alanda. After receiving high fives, being treated to their meal at In-N-Out Burger and someone asking to take a photo with them, the couple were in marital bliss. “It was a ‘reception’ I’ll never forget,” Kayla says. “We live in a pretty wild and divisive world, but feeling all the love on the Las Vegas streets was a dose of humanity and collective joy I didn’t see coming.”

ILLUSTRATIONSBY

ANA STRUMPF

GOING (BACK)

CHAPEL

SINGER ALLY BROOKE GETS REAL ABOUT LIFEIN THE SPOTLIGHT AND FINDING HER HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

BYLAURENKAY

PHOTOGRAPHY BY COLETTE ABOUSSOUAN

STYLINGBY REBECCA DENNETT

Dress by Ines Di Santo; earrings by Lelet New York; shoes by Roger Vivier.

Ally Brooke is engaged and “feeling ‘Fabulous.’ ” The lyrics of her 2020 song by the same name narrate her journey from past to present.

But now I understand/ That if I’m gonna love someone/ I’m just gonna love myself/ I already know I’m fabulous/ I don’t need no one else/ Say yes I’m gonna love my curves/ And yes I’m gonna love my scars/ And I’ma be the only one/ Who’s never gonna break my heart/ I woke up feelin’ fabulous

The member of the former girl group Fifth Harmony arrives on set in New York City all smiles, joking it’s her engaged glow. “It’s been my biggest dream to get married,” she says. It’s hard for me to imagine, given all the success she’s achieved in her 31 years—a top 10 Billboard hit, third place on Dancing With the Stars, and a memoir, Finding Your Harmony—but I believe her. Her success has been hardearned, with a quick rise to fame and plenty of pivots along the way. At last, she’s found a new kind of peace, thanks to therapy, her family and friends, and her faith. “I’ve finally gotten to a place where I believe these words,” she says of her “Fabulous” lyrics.

I ask her to take me back to the beginning, and she does, recalling the exact moment she knew singing was her destiny. “My third-grade teacher overheard me singing and told my mom that I should do something with that,” she says. So she started singing in a chapel and then joined a local organization where kids performed around her hometown of San Antonio, Texas. “I sang for the first time in front of an audience at nine years old,” says Ally. That was it: She was hooked. “I felt like I had a superpower. I just loved it.” She also credits her mom’s “crazy intuition” and the support of both of her parents when it came to pursuing her dream. “My mom heard on the radio that The X Factor was coming to town, and she said, I think you should audition,” recalls Ally.

“I didn’t want to audition, but I did and after I said a prayer: ‘God, if it’s in your plan, let it be. But if not, it’s okay.’ That prayer was life-changing.” She made it to the next round but was eliminated as a soloist. “I thought the dream was over, but then the judges called me and a few other girls to the stage, and Simon [Cowell, a music producer] formed Fifth Harmony, and that’s how my career exploded,” Ally says.

Thrust into the spotlight, the five women went from competitors to confidantes overnight. “It was crazy not knowing these people and then having to be in a group and form something more than yourself. Everyone had to find their place,” she remembers. Fifth Harmony was officially signed by Cowell, their mentor, to his record label Syco Music in a joint deal with Epic Records. They went on to release a debut studio album, Reflection, which includes the singles “Boss,” “Sledgehammer” and “Worth It,” which reached the top 10 list in 13 countries. Next up was a North American tour and the beginning of Ally’s happily ever after.

“I knew the moment I laid eyes on him,” recalls Ally, retelling the first time she saw her fiancé, Will Bracey. Will joined the girl group as their touring manager in 2014, and for Ally, it was love at first sight. “I asked someone, ‘Who is that?’ when he walked through the door, because he’s so handsome, and he just had a glow about him.” She laughs, claiming she couldn’t stop staring at him, totally enamored. “The previous tour manager told me Will was very into God and Jesus,” says Ally. “And that was one of our first real conversations.” The two were just friends at the beginning. “I had a crush on him and then we fell in love,” recalls Ally. Her bandmates were the first to catch on. Once Ally fessed up to it being something more, Will offered to resign. “The girls were like, ‘We love you, and we trust Will, and we know you guys are pure. We totally support the relationship’.” So

Opposite: Dress by Viktor & Rolf; veil by HONOR; earrings and ring by Ritique.

Dress by Self-Portrait; shoes by Christian Louboutin; earrings by Roxanne Assoulin; bobby pins by Jennifer Behr.

Dress by Viktor& Rolf; shoes by Roger Vivier; earrings by Ritique.

Opposite: Dress by Self-Portrait; earrings by Roxanne Assoulin; bobby pins by Jennifer Behr; headpiece (worn on shoulder) by AREA.

HE ACTUALLY TOLD HIS MOM THAT HE FELL IN

LOVE WITH ME OVER MY DVD COLLEC

Will stayed on and their connection deepened. “We would just hang out,” she recalls. “We bonded over movies. He actually told his mom that he fell in love with me over my DVD collection.”

In 2018, Fifth Harmony dissolved when the girls went their separate ways to pursue solo careers. Soon after, Ally released the first single, “Low Key,” with Tyga. For her, it was a real turning point—not just in her career, but in her life. “It was so amazing and exhilarating, just having my own music. I toured the world, continued making music and did things outside of music too,” she says. For the first time, Ally was in the driver’s seat, and she liked it. “I took a mini break for my mental health, to heal a lot of parts of me that were broken and to be in a new place in my life,” says Ally.

In 2020 she was set to tour again, but the pandemic had other plans. She pivoted and wrote her memoir. “The book was part of my healing—I wanted to give my story to the fans and just be able to show the world who I was and how I grew up,” says Ally. She hopes it will inspire someone else to pursue their dream or their faith. “I wanted that to shine in the book,” Ally says. She also credits the slowdown as being instrumental in her healing. “I love my therapist. She’s helped me overcome a lot in my life and move forward,” she says. Will also moved on to new professional opportunities, which allowed the couple to establish boundaries. “He helped me jump-start my solo career, and we were working very closely together for that. Now he has another job,” Ally says. “It’s nice we can focus on being fiancés. We have separate worlds that mesh, but we’re not having to discuss work all the time.” In a way, the two grew up together, dating for nine years before Will proposed. Ally assured me that they were always on the same page about their timeline. “We wanted to get our careers in order,” she says. But like every self-respecting woman, she dropped hints along the way. “If we were watching a movie and someone got engaged, I’d point to my ring finger, and he would just smile,” she says. Will knew he had to deliver, and he did.

When I ask her about her December 2023 engagement over breakfast the day after our shoot, she completely lights up. Her voice jumps an octave as she recounts the whole story through a huge smile. “I was here in NYC to be on The Kelly Clarkson Show with one of my bandmates from Fifth Harmony so I was in total work mode,” she says. “And I was also doing a photo shoot that day, or so I was told.” The ruse led to full glam for Ally, a picturesque setting at a midtown gallery and a photographer to capture it all. Will planned

all the details, working with a private jeweler in Turkey to design the ring. In her elation, Ally nearly forgot to say yes.

This ring was her second of significance. Ally grew up in a religious household, and for her 18th birthday, her parents gave her a promise ring that symbolized her commitment to abstain from sex until marriage. It’s a pledge she plans to keep until the wedding night. “Will is so respectful, and I obviously respect myself, so it’s just one more reason to look forward to the wedding,” she says.

The couple is in the early stages of planning a 2025 wedding, and they’re facing a disagreement that plagues many to-be-weds. “Hilariously, we are not on the same page,” laughs Ally. “I want a bigger wedding, and he wants 25 people. It’s going to be interesting to see how it turns out.” I share my long-held belief that wedding planning is actually just marriage prep under the guise of a party. It’s the first of many compromises you make as an official team. “I know we will get on the same page,” she assures me. I ask if she’d been keeping a secret Pinterest board hidden during their nearly decade-long courtship. “No,” she says, “but I know I’m going to work with a wedding planner.” After spending years living life on stage, Ally is accustomed to working with professionals and knows they will bring her vision to life.

She is leaning toward a classic wedding vibe. “Whites and neutrals have been inspiring me lately,” she says. Ally and Will both like the idea of a traditional wedding with some twists. Will has been sober for over a decade, so nonalcoholic sips will be on offer. The two have celebrated life milestones over a really good steak, including one the night of their engagement, so it will definitely have a place on the wedding menu too.

The singer also doesn’t miss a beat when I ask if she could have anyone perform at her wedding, who would it be. “Will and I love Ed Sheeran. There is nothing like his music—he’s just so beyond.” A nonnegotiable for Ally is skipping the first look. “Everyone is different, but for me, I want the first look to be down the aisle. That is my must.” She’s also hoping for a violin soloist to perform as she processes. Because music is such a big part of their lives, the couple also plans to hire a DJ to play their favorite reggae and pop hits throughout the night. There’s talk of a wedding singer as well.

When I ask Ally what she’s looking forward to most, she pauses thoughtfully and repeats what she first told me minutes after meeting: “I really can’t wait. It’s been my life’s dream to be married.”

She’s headed back to a chapel, where it all began.

Dress by Self-Portrait; rings by Erickson Beamon; earrings by Jennifer Behr. Makeup by Misuzu Miyake; hair by Shin Arima.

Dress Codes—

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHITE TIE, BLACK TIE AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN? WE BREAK IT DOWN IN THE SIMPLEST OF TERMS.

By Sofia Deeb

Weddings are slowly challenging the rules of tradition, and with that, dress codes are evolving too. Previously, dress codes were a formality; today, the guests’ attire can help bring a wedding vision to life. Not to mention that in the golden age of sharing content, having a uniﬁed look across all attendees makes for excellent photo ops.

Executing a hyper-specific attire-driven theme, however, requires more than just slapping a Met Gala–esque note on the invites.

author of Dressed, Styled and Down the Aisle, couples are increasingly providing mood boards and imagery to help inspire guests’ outﬁt choices. “Not only does it eliminate the guesswork that goes into picking out an outﬁt, but it gives the guest a reference point so they feel more comfortable,” she says. “In fact, not paying attention to the dress code is a huge guest faux pas and can result in an embarrassing situation for the person as well as the host.”

WEDDING WARDROBE MVPS

You’ll want these versatile pieces and tried-and-true accessories in your closet.

A statement clutch can help take a staple ﬂoral dress from day to night.

According to bridal stylist Julie Sabatino, the

the

Without the help of a mood board, however, guests are left with questions. When the dress code is vague, Sabatino says it’s safe to go with classic pieces that can work in lots of different settings. “Solid colors are more versatile than prints, and you can never go wrong with your favorite LBD and necklace combo,” she adds. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to brush up on the basics of wedding dress codes. So, whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned wedding goer, stick with us as we break down the dos and don’ts for every type of event.

Kelly Procida and Andy Stranick

garden chic dress code for their outdoor nuptials.

Procida and Stranick opted for a chic dress outdoor nuptials.

A pashmina makes a cozy (and demure) addition to any weddingguest dress. Plus, it will certainly come in handy during an outdoor event.

Reid asked guests to dress in different shades of pink for their disco-inspired fling.

an outdoor event out. You can

A unique pocket square will help your outﬁt stand out. You can never go wrong with the classics.

Block-heeled sandals can take your look to new heights. They’re ideal for outdoor weddings and dance ﬂoors.

A quality pair of loafers are a must-have for work and weddings.

Decoded

to bridal Julie Sabatino,

Molly Sprick and Andrew

TIPS:

If you’re wearing a dress, opt for a ﬂoorlength evening gown in a solid dark color such as black, navy, maroon or similar jewel tones.

For a white-tie dress code, consider wearing a dress suit with tails. If it’s a black-tie affair, a classic black tux should do the trick.

As for black tie optional? You can wear a tux or a suit and tie, depending on what you’re most comfortable with.

WhiteTie + lB a c k Tie

THINK:What you’d wear if you had the chance to walk the red carpet at a world premiere.

BRANDS TO CONSIDER: Mac Duggal

Marchesa Notte

Ralph Lauren Reiss

Tadashi Shoji

AVOID: Loud patterns and overly bright colors

Casual fabrics like linen, crepe and denim

Short and midi dresses

Sandals and sneakers

THINK: Dressing to impress.

Form a l

TIPS:

Dresses can any or color of but ﬂoorsilhouettes

Dresses can be any print or color (besides white, of course), but ﬂoorlength silhouettes are best.

For opt a a black, navy or gray could wear a full tux if

For suiting, opt for a suit and tie in a classic shade like black, navy or gray (you could wear a full tux if you’re feeling fancy).

AVOID: Casual fabrics like linen, crepe and denim

Mini dresses (midi length can work depending on the venue and season)

Sandals and sneakers

BRANDS TO CONSIDER:

Badgley

Mischka

Bronx and Banco

L’Idée

Sachin & Babi

The Black Tux

THINK:What you’d wear to an evening cocktail party.

Cocktail

AVOID:

Daytime attire such as sundresses and linen suits

Sandals and sneakers

TIPS:

Dresses can be any length, as long as they have a structural silhouette

Suits can be worn with or without a tie. Cocktail dress codes also offer an opportunity to experiment with fun colors and accessories.

BRANDS TO CONSIDER:

ASTR The Label

Bonobos

Charles Tyrwhitt

Etro

Yumi Kim

TIPS:

THINK:What you’d wear to a nice restaurant.

A ﬂoral midi dress is a triedand-true option for semi-formal events, but you can mix things up with a satin slip instead.

Suits are not required, but always welcome. If you prefer to wear a dress shirt and slacks, pair that with a blazer or sport coat.

a pair that a or coat

AVOID: Evening gowns and tuxedos

Sneakers

Shorts and short-sleeved shirts

BeachFor m

THINK:Festive enough for a wedding, but light and airy enough to wear under the sun.

AVOID: Black and other dark colors

Heels that will get stuck in the sand

Heavy fabric and layers

Evening gowns and tuxedos

TIPS:

TIPS

When it comes to dresses, beach weddings offer a chance to embrace bright colors, fun prints and unique cutouts.

Since it will likely be too hot for layers, consider a linen button-down and trousers instead of a suit.

Whe each w o emb rints a Sinc ot for utton nstead

PatBO

Suitsupply

BRANDS TO CONSIDER:

Cult Gaia

FARM Rio

Hemant & Nandita

Cult FARM

THINK:The very best of your everyday attire.

Casu a l

BRANDS TO CONSIDER:

Ciao Lucia

Banana Republic

AVOID:

Evening gowns and tuxedos

Stilettos and pumps

Fabrics such as satin and velvet

Faithful

Todd Snyder

Zimmermann

Flip-ﬂops and dirty sneakers

TIPS:

Mini and midi dresses are safe bets for casual weddings. You can dress them down with a pair of block-heeled sandals.

opt for a dress shirt and sneakers

are for casual weddings sandals

Ditch the suit and opt for a dress shirt and chinos instead. Get creative by experimenting with unique colors and patterns.

Txirimiri white and black diamond ring, $3,650, ItaJewelry.com

Bespoke Grande Anerise band, $8,200, KatKimFineJewelry.com

S h o o t

LATELY, COUPLES ARE OPTING FOR SHORT MINI-MOONS, FOLLOWED BY LONGER MEGA-MOONS. WE DIVE INTO THE WHERE, WHEN AND HOW.

By Jen Murphy

f o r t h e M o o n

TRAVEL

Why take one honeymoon when you can take two? If you’ve been dreaming of an epic African safari or a grand tour of 19thcentury historic sites in Europe but can’t devote weeks away, don’t abandon the idea for your honeymoon. We recommend starting with a mini-moon, a quick-and-easy jaunt afer you exchange vows, because you need some R&R. Then, have a mega-moon on your calendar to give you something to look forward to months afer the wedding.

the mini-moon

Think of the mini-moon as an amuse-bouche before your big getaway. It typically lasts two to five nights, so couples get plenty of romance and respite.

SPA

After months of planning and a big day of partying, you deserve some serious pampering.

Carefree, Arizona, for a long weekend of desert healing

Ease: Less than an hour’s drive from Phoenix

Stay: Tap into your spiritual side at Civana Wellness Resort & Spa. This 176room retreat in the Sonoran Desert has over 70 free classes a day, plus spiritual offerings like shamanic journeys and

intention-burning ceremonies. From $349; CivanaCarefree.com

Must-do: You choose the ingredients for the Medicine Garden Scrub depending on whether you need an immune boost or relaxation ($230 per person).

The Poconos, Pennsylvania, for a weekend of forest bathing

Ease: A two-hour drive from New York City

Stay: Nestledon500woodedacres,the Lodge at Woodloch is an adults-only resort in northeast Pennsylvania with a 40,000-square-foot spa, a massive hydrotherapy circuit and more than 50 daily activities, such as healing sounds

meditation and chakra-balancing yoga. From $564; TheLodgeatWoodloch.com

Must-do: The hotel employs three certified forest bathing instructors who lead guests on meditative hikes.

Mexico’s Riviera Maya for four days of sun and sea

Ease: A two-hour nonstop flight from Miami or Houston, or four hours from New York City, plus a 40-minute transfer from the airport

Stay: Book one of the gorgeously appointed suites in the adults-only Grand Class section of the all-inclusive oceanfront Grand Velas Riviera Maya. The resort has eight dining venues—one is Michelin-starred—and one of the best spas in the region. From $1,319; RivieraMaya.GrandVelas.com

Must-do: The Páak’am couples treatment begins with a traditional Mayan blessing, followed by an exfoliating cactus scrub and a massage performed with warm (thorn-free) nopal cacti pads ($820 for two people).

SLEEP

You’ve celebrated until sunrise. Here’s where to catch up on your zzz’s.

The Hamptons, New York, for a weekend at the beach

Ease: A three-hour drive from NYC

Stay: The Roundtree, Amagansett is a soothing, 13-room haven conveniently

located on Main Street. Your agenda includes coffee in the garden, a private visit to the Parrish Art Museum, rides on the hotel’s bikes to the ocean and s’mores at the evening bonfire. From $895; TheRoundtreeHotels.com

Must-do: Request a picnic of local artisanal goodies, including a bottle of Wölffer Estate rosé, then head to Two Mile Hollow for a slumberous afternoon at the beach.

Highlands, North Carolina, for a peaceful weekend

Ease: A two-and-a-half-hour drive from Atlanta; three-anda-half hours from Charlotte, North Carolina

Stay: Recharge in the Blue Ridge Mountains at Half-Mile Farm, an adults-only property with its own private lake and mineral pools, plus nearby hiking trails. From $382; OldEdwardsHospitality.com

Must-do: Catch golden hour from atop Sunset Rock, an easy 1.4-mile round-trip hike that starts across from the Highlands Nature Center.

THE NUMBERS

Almost threequarters of couples intend to embark on a getaway following their wedding, according to The Knot Worldwide’s 2024 Global Wedding Report.

Park City, Utah, for mountains and fresh air

Ease: 50-minute drive from Salt Lake City International Airport

Stay: The Lodge at Blue Sky, an Auberge Resort, is a short drive from Park City’s Main Street, but we doubt you’ll want to leave. This 46-room wilderness sanctuary has it all: miles of trails, stables, a sensational spa and an outpost of Highwest Distillery. From $2,089; AubergeResorts.com

Must-do: Let the resort’s resident energy healer lull you into a state of tranquility during a 90-minute chakra sleep ritual ($930 for two people).

ALL-INCLUSIVES

For a zero-stress vacation, opt for a hotel where everything is covered.

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, to sip poolside margaritas

Ease: Three-hour direct flight from LA; just under three-hour direct flight from Houston

Stay: The rate at Hotel Mousai covers eight dining venues: five on-site and three at nearby sister property Garza Blanca. A private beachfront with free cabanas are a short walk away, or you can catch sun in a lounger by the rooftop infinity pool and

bar. From $762; PuertoVallarta .HotelMousai.com

Must-do: Take the complimentary half-day guided trip to a jungle-shrouded Mismaloya beach and the famed Los Arcos rock formation.

Gay, Georgia, to be immersed in farm life

Ease: 75-minute drive from Atlanta

Stay: Set on 5,000 bucolic acres of working farmland, Quercus is a new four-suite luxury stay with a wellness focus and a stellar restaurant showcasing fresh ingredients. From $2,700 for two nights;

WorldofQuercus.com

Must-do: Saddle up and join a trail ride through the property’s rolling pastures and pecan grove.

The Florida Keys for tiki drinks and spectacular sunsets

Ease: 75-minute drive from Miami

Stay: An adults-only waterfront resort, Bungalows Key Largo feels like paradise with two pools and six dining venues, including a kitschy tiki bar with prime seats to watch the sun sink. As the name suggests, all 135 accommodations are spacious bungalows with private verandas, soaking tubs, and outdoor showers. From $899; BungalowsKeyLargo.com

Must-do: The hotel’s calm, protected bay

is perfect for snorkeling. Keep an eye out for queen angelfish and blue tang.

IMMERSIVE NATURE

Studies show that time outdoors is the ultimate health boost.

Sonoma’s Russian River Valley, California, for redwood hikes and wine tastings

Ease: A two-hour drive from San Francisco

Stay: Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve is five minutes up the road from Dawn Ranch, a 22-acre property that spans a river, apple orchard and peaceful meadow. The 86 accommodations range

from glamping tents to chalets with private gardens and sunrooms. From $299; DawnRanch.com

Must-do: After hiking redwood-shaded trails, retreat to the spa’s Japanese soaking tubs ($90 per person).

Deer Isle, Maine, for wild beaches, moss-filled forests and lobster rolls

Ease: A 90-minute drive from Bangor Airport

Stay: Open from May to October, Aragosta at Goose Cove’s nine waterfront cottages and three suites are surrounded by towering spruces. Chef-owner Devin Finigan’s on-site restaurant is one of the top tables in the country. Her veggie- and seafood-focused tasting menus celebrate the area’s purveyors. From $360; AragostaMaine.com

Must-do: Take the ferry to trail-laced Isle au Haut—the quieter side of Acadia National Park.

Dubois, Wyoming, for ranch life

Ease: A 90-minute drive from Jackson Hole airport

Stay: Located on 1,200 acres in the cowboy town of Dubois, 3 Spear Ranch’s eight cabins are each a short walk from the property’s warm springs. The ranch borders Shoshone National Forest; plus, it’s located an hour’s drive from Grand Teton National Park and 90 minutes from Yellowstone. From $365; 3SpearRanch.com

Must-do: Uncover hidden swimming holes and remnants of a wooden aqueduct network that helped inspire Splash Mountain at Disneyland on fourhour safari.

the mega-moon

A once-in-a-lifetime trip, the mega-moon takes you to exotic, far-flung locales and lavish hotels. It includes plenty of bucket-list experiences you’ll talk about for years to come.

An Active Island-Hopping Adventure

The Balearics, a sun-kissed archipelago off the coast of Spain, offers far more than stunning beaches. The four main islands— Mallorca, Menorca, Ibiza and Formentera— provide a dramatic backdrop of limestone formations, pine forests and turquoise waters for hiking, biking, sailing and kitesurfing.

Locations: Ibiza and Mallorca

Length of time: 10 days

Game plan: Spend a week exploring Mallorca’s UNESCO-listed Serra de Tramuntana mountain range, charming hillside towns like Deià and Valldemosa, and 30-plus miles of powder-fine sand and rocky coves. Cap off your trip with three days in Ibiza. Yes, this is an infamous party island, but it’s also home to beautiful nature parks, low-key bohemian beaches and a great dining scene. The fast ferry between the two islands takes two hours and 15 minutes.

Top stays: A restored family estate at the foot of the Tramuntana mountains, Grand Hotel Son Net has 31 unique rooms decorated with plush fabrics and antiques. From $690; Sonnet.es

For easy access to Camp de Mar’s Restaurante La illeta and the entrance of the Tramuntanas, Zafiro Palace Andratx is a serene five-star option that offers an adults-only, club-level option with its own private concierge. A lavish buffet breakfast is included. From $288; ZafiroHotels.com

The serene, art-filled Ibiza Gran Hotel is a stone’s throw away from the buzzy dining scene (think: Cipriani and Zuma), as well as renowned nightlife (Pacha and Club Chinois).

The five-star hotel is also within walking distance from Dalt Vila (the fortified Old Town) and the marina. It also boasts a Michelin-star restaurant, La Gaia by Óscar Molina. From $543; IbizaGranHotel.com

Must-do: Mallorca is a cycling mecca. Hire a guide from OQ Service Course and test your mettle on the famed climbs around the Serra de Tramuntana. From $218; OQServiceCourse.com

A Dream Diving Itinerary

Discover paradisiacal beaches, technicolor coral reefs teeming with marine life and the vibrant Polynesian culture as you island-hop around the South Pacific. You can ogle colorful fish from your overwater bungalow (a Tahitian invention) or visit world-renowned dive sites. From August to November, it’s possible to swim with the humpback whales that gather in the warm waters.

Locations: Tahiti and the Society Islands

Length of time: Two weeks

Game plan: Your international flight will arrive on the main island of Tahiti. Acclimate for one night in the capital, Papeete, then take a

50-minute flight to Bora Bora for four days. Next, a 20-minute boat ride delivers you to the “sacred island” Raiatea for two nights. Transfer 30 minutes by boat to Taha’a island for three nights. Have your trip culminate with four nights on Tetiaroa island, reachable by a 20-minute flight from Papeete.

Top stays: Recently refurbished, Le Taha’a by Pearl Resorts has both overwater suites and barefoot luxe beach villas with plunge pools. The surrounding lagoon is perfect for snorkeling, kayaking and paddleboarding. From $1,085; LeTahaa.com

In the 1960s, Marlon Brando bought the tiny atoll of Tetiaroa with the aim of preserving it. Today, The Brando, a 33-villa private island resort, sets the bar for sustainability with organic gardens, solar energy and an on-site research station. The food is better than ever now that a rising star chef from

Paris oversees the three restaurants. From $5,125, all-inclusive; TheBrando.com

Must-do: Hunker down for a day of selfcare in The Brando’s Fare Manu tree house spa cabin for two. Therapists use their hands, forearms, elbows and even feet to pummel away tension during the traditional taurumi massage.

A Delicious Culinary Journey

Australia’s size and diversity make it the ideal destination for a food and wine odyssey. Dine at gastronomic temples helmed by star chefs in Sydney and Melbourne, tour award-winning cellars in wine country, and check in to luxury farm stays.

Location: Australia

Length of time: Three weeks

Game plan: Spend three nights in Sydney, then take a 90-minute flight to Melbourne for another three nights. Drive 80 minutes to the spa town of Dalyesford for two nights. An 80-minute flight delivers you to Adelaide, the gateway to the vineyards of the Barossa Valley. After three days of wine tasting, fly to Tasmania for your final week.

Top stays: Acclaimed chef Alla WolfTasker runs the Lake House Dalyesford, a dreamy destination dining estate with a 13,000-bottle wine cellar, cabins, treetop spa and heated infinity pool overlooking the lake. The hotel’s 40-acre regenerative

farm, located down the road, grows nearly everything you’ll eat. From $1,283 for two nights; LakeHouse.com.au

On Tasmania’s eastern coast, Saffire Freycinet is tucked away on a secluded inlet within Freycinet National Park. All 20 suites look out across the craggy Hazards

mountain range and sparkling Great Oyster Bay. From $1,800; Saffire-Freycinet.com.au

Must-do: Saffire’s complimentary oyster farm experience delivers an Insta-worthy photo op. You’ll don waders and slurp freshly shucked oysters at a table in the middle of the water.

A Deeper Cultural Connection

A former French protectorate, Morocco has Moorish architecture, desert landscapes and a distinct Berber culture that have captured the imaginations of everyone from Henri Matisse to Yves Saint Laurent. Design lovers will find the destination pairs

perfectly with Paris, which is just over a three-hour nonstop flight away.

Locations: France and Morocco

Length of time: 10 days Game plan: Kick things off with two nights in Paris, then fly to Marrakech and

spend four days wandering the city’s souks and hiking in the nearby Atlas Mountains. Hop an hourlong flight to conclude your honeymoon with two nights in Casablanca.

Top stays: In Paris, glam it up at the elegant 208-room

Please note: Local laws may restrict service availability to all. Visit the Equality Index (Equaldex. com/equalityindex) for more information.

Hôtel Plaza Athénée. A session in thenewDiorSpa’sLightSuitewill helpadjustyourcircadianrhythms after a long flight. From $1,680; DorchesterCollection.com

The King of Morocco owns the 53-key Royal Mansour in Marrakech. The opulent interiors—zellige tiles, gold leaf walls—were created by 1,200 local artisans over three years. From $1,631; RoyalMansour.com

A new 149-room sister property in Casablanca was constructed from 70 types of marble. The design nods to the White City’s mid-century glamour. From $590; RoyalMansour.com

Must-do: The founder of Alouane Bladi, a nonprofit for Moroccan street art, takes guests of Royal Mansour Casablanca on three-hour tours that showcase 30-plus guerrilla artworks and murals throughout the city (price upon request).

A Combo Bush and Beach Safari

An African safari is a bucketlist trip. But after days of dawn patrol wake-up calls to spot the Big Five and strenuous hikes to track gorillas and chimpanzees, you’ll need a vacation from vacation. A palm-fringed, whitesand beach is just the place to recuperate.

Locations: Rwanda and the Seychelles

Length of time: 16 days

Game plan: Spend two days in Kigali, Rwanda’s capital, before departing for Volcanoes National Park, where you’ll track gorillas for four days. Head east to Akagera National Park for a three-day Big Five safari, then loop down for

two nights in Nyungwe Forest National Park to view chimps. Dedicate a day to travel, including a nearly six-hour flight to the Seychelles, where you will conclude the mega-moon with four days of pure hedonism on the beaches of the Seychelles. Top stays: Use Bisate Reserve, a newcampfromsustainabletravel operator Wilderness, as your base for exploring Volcanoes National Park. From $6,400; WildernessDestinations.com

In Akagera, eight-tent Wilderness Magashi is the only camp with access to its designated part of the park. Game drives and sundowners complement opportunities to help track and monitor leopards and lions. From $2,400; WildernessDestinations.com

Live out your castaway fantasies on North Island in the Seychelles. Eleven over-the-top villas span 5,000 square feet each and have front-row seats on Anse Nord d’Est beach. From $7,000; North-Island.com

Must do: Hike three to four hours to famed gorilla researcher Dian Fossey’s Karisoke research base, tucked between the summits of two volcanoes.

The ‘Moon’ Phases

Earlymoon (n.)

A trending romantic getaway for engaged couples to get some respite during the wedding planning process. The trip often takes place after the couple completes the big-ticket wedding checklist items.

Mini-moon (n.)

A condensed and accessible version of the honeymoon. These short romantic getaways are held immediately after the wedding and located within a reasonable drive or flight to the couple’s venue or hometown.

Mega-moon (n.)

An extended, lavish and often far-flung trip of a lifetime. This unforgettable honeymoon takes place months after the wedding to account for planning and preparation.

You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.

You me I ever I could be. And if you let me, I will rest of my life to make you the same way

— Chandler, proposing to Monica on Friends