Weddings

weddings The Malta Independent on Sunday 16 October 2016

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weddings

THE WEDDING Rachel, centre, surrounded by her bridesmaids Vanessa Camenzuli, maid of honour: Stephanie Allampalli, bridesmaid Stephanie Sullivan and Nicole Sant Fournier

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ctress and singer Rachel Fabri has a B.Psy. (Hons.); ICS Child Psy. Dip;M.A. Musical Theatre, a very impressive list of qualifications. She is married to Andrew and also gives plenty of time to music, theatre and teaching.

Since singing is my life and my main source of income (musical theatre performer/ classical crossover singer/ singing tutor/ singer-songwriter/ former head of music at Masquerade School for Performing Arts), I also sing for corporate events, concerts, funerals and weddings. I am really struggling to remember but I think I began singing at weddings when I was about 17 to 18 years old, around 2003. My friend Amy Talbot was my first piano accompanist and we would often pair up to provide the music entertainment, mainly at wedding Masses and a few receptions.

I’m not sure if it was the first one but one of the first weddings I sang at was my cousin’s wedding so it was very special.

SINGER

Music makes a wedding ceremony, however simple. We asked Rachel Fabri what singing for a happy couple and their family and guests means to her.

Photographs by Matthew Mirabelli

Do you sing in both church and at receptions?

Yes I sing at both but I prefer singing at the Masses. In fact I mainly sing at church or civil ceremonies rather than receptions. I feel more comfortable since my vocal style is more suitable for the ceremony. However, I do a few receptions here and there too.

How do you and a couple plan the pieces you will be singing?

Rachel and her husband Andrew Camilleri during a tender moment in their wedding

I send the couple a long set list of songs we usually perform at weddings and ask them to select their favourites.

Of course, if there is a particular song they wish for which is not on the list I discuss it with them. I also explain where each song or instrumental piece needs to be sung or played during the ceremony. All this planning is usually done by email.

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What sort of pieces do you enjoy singing most—- at a church wedding, a civil setting or a reception?

One of my favourite songs to sing at church ceremonies is Above All – the melody and the lyrics really move me. I get emotional whenever I sing it. I’d also say that some of my favourite pieces are the classics like Ave Maria, Schubert/ Bach-Gounod, Panis Angelicus but I also love Fr Robert Galea’s songs like Song of Love, Angel, Mulej f’idejk, More of You...which have become popular. They are lovely and so meaningful. It’s also nice to know they were composed by a Maltese priest. Songs I enjoy singing at

civil ceremonies and receptions – there are so many. Lately I’m enjoying singing Latch, Sam Smith, Like I’m Going to Lose You, Megan Trainer and an old favourite is One , U2.

Have you ever had any amusing or scary moments when singing at a wedding?

This year I actually had a worrying moment, or actually series of moments, during a wedding Mass. The electric circuit in the church seemed to not be able to take all the lights, sound, music, etc and the power just kept tripping throughout the Mass. Sound check was fine, the first two songs were fine then suddenly from the Offertory song

onwards, each song would be fine for the first 10 seconds and suddenly cut off – I kept on singing a capella. This tiny chapel had no organ or piano so my accompanist had to bring her own electric keyboard and she obviously could not play without electricity. We tried all the different power supplies in the church, everyone trying to help us, to no avail! It was so frustrating because you want to give your best to the couple – it’s their special big day and you want it to be perfect! They knew it wasn’t our fault and they were so lovely about it.

Since then, I have sung again and again at that church and this never happened again. However, the church has since also been refurbished and there have not been as many lights etc being used.

With regards to amusing experiences – oh so many! From priests tripping and landing on us and our equipment to newly wed couples taking FOREVER to exit the church and having to repeat the exit song about six times over!

What music did you choose for your own wedding and if you could have had any artists in the world to sing for you who would he, she or they be?

All Angels, from left: Daisy Chute, Charlotte Ritchie, Melanie Nakhla and Rachel

For our own wedding we chose a mix of classical and religious songs as well as a couple of modern songs. Being a singer and having many close friends involved in music I actually had the people I really wanted to sing for my wedding. I was so, so, so pleased that they were all there singing for our special day! My first singing tutor, soprano Gillian Zammit and good friend, tenor Cliff Zammit Stevens, sang the Ave Maria (Bach/Gounod) as I entered the church.

When I lived in the UK I formed part of a classical crossover quartet called All

Angels; the three girls flew over for the wedding. I also studied musical theatre at GSA Conservatoire and made some very talented and lifelong friends. One of these, Corinna, sang Above All beautifully (religious) as a solo and the Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley version, along with All Angels, who also sang Songbird, Eva Cassidy, during Communion and a gorgeous a capella, three part harmony rendition of Louis Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World during the Sign of Peace. Corinna sang another song during Communion – a beautiful religious song called This is the Air I Breathe. My very close friend Matt Anastasi who was my housemate whilst studying musical theatre with me in the UK sang our exit song Just Say Yes, Snow Patrol. We also had good friends Kevin Spiteri on guitar and Dr Veronique Vella on piano. They are usually my accompanists at weddings and gigs so it was extra special to have them playing for us at our wedding.

They had some instrumental pieces too.

During the vows I asked Veronique to play the Glasgow Love Theme which is a piece very dear to my heart and reminds me of my husband’s late mother. During the Signing of the Register they played a beautiful rendition of the popular Pachelbel’s Canon in D which I adore and never get fed up of listening to.

When I hear it I simply think of a happy and romantic wedding day.

At the reception, my other UK housemate, Holly Marshall, who I also studied musical theatre with, and her husband Christian Bell Young, who is also a musician, sang our special couple song, Lucky I’m in Love with my Best Friend – a duet by Colbie Callait and Jason Mraz, for our first dance. Having such close friends singing on our special day made me feel so loved and incredibly happy.

Rachel is on Facebook www.facebook.com/RachelFabrimusic

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The happy couple and their very special wedding transport

GETTING TO THE

CHURCH ON TIME

Choosing original transport is a good way to personalise your wedding day.

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raditional Maltese weddings in the past saw the bridal party walking to the service in a charming procession under an ornate canopy, lavishly attired and serenaded by singers and musicians. The streets from the bride’s home to the parish church were filled with celebrators. Sadly, this custom has all but disappeared as wedding ceremonies and receptions are often held in churches and venues several kilometres from where either the bride or groom lives.

So it would be a fun idea to find a way to both ‘arrive’ and leave the wedding locations in a way everyone will always remember. Your guests and the crowds that gather, waiting to see the bride arrive and the couple depart, will be extra impressed that you’ve chosen something different.

Will you turn up in a wonderful vintage car, Here Comes the Bride blaring from the horn, or in a fairytale carriage drawn by white horses beautifully adorned with shiny horse brasses and coloured plumes? And imagine how a karozzin, with ribbons, flowers and a pretty canopy would give a simple, traditional touch to a wedding in a country chapel, or public garden.

If your ceremony will be by the sea or in a church near a

Something borrowed, something blue. Rita and Mario’s bus well decorated for the occasion sheltered bay, what about drifting in on a suitably decorated luzzu – the nearest thing we have to a romantic gondola? Golf buggies, motorbikes and sidecars, those sweet little motors that wander

through Valletta’s streets, could also be appealing. Or what about a bride on roller skates, being pulled along by her new husband, on a bike? And no, we didn’t make that up!

Let your imagination totally

run away with you. It’s a bit of a reach on our islands, but what about flying in to the location in a light aircraft, or hang glider? A hot air balloon too has been known to cause a huge stir as it descends with a radiant and slightly windswept bride, or takes off bearing a happy couple.

You will most likely want to avoid some of the more unorthodox ways less lucky brides and grooms have made it to the church. Circumstances, especially overseas, have seen all sorts of vehicles commandeered in an emergency from tractors and snow ploughs to ambulances, fire engines, police cars and, inevitably, breakdown rescue trucks.

Finally, there is another set of wheels worth thinking about and that is one connected to your job, sport or hobby. Rita Azzopardi, Insurance Executive with Malta Public Transport, told us how she made this idea part of her happy wedding day on June 23, 2012.

“To be honest I just wanted to get married, I did not want or need anything fancy. However at the time, a manager with the Bus Company, Angela Green, wanted me to use the bus as transport (since both my husband and I work with the company) “It was very hard to allow a bus to be used for wedding purposes, in fact my now

manager, Rafael Orsini, was finding it very difficult to get the necessary permission for it to go through.

“We did not have a designated driver who was willing to go through with it. Then one of my co-workers, Carlos Sultana, offered to be the driver (after I spent every working day nagging him to do it).

“In today’s day and age more original ideas are being thought of, to make people’s special day even more memorable. In the beginning I did not think much of it, thus I never expected the reactions it got (which were mostly positive). Whilst traditional wedding transport is still favored, I encourage people to think outside the box the smallest of details makes the whole occasion even more memorable.”

And were her guests surprised?

“Ha ha, my husband’s mother was speechless. However most of the reactions we got were from people on the streets. Some stopped and pointed; others took photos of us passing by and posted them on Facebook. It is not an everyday event a bus displaying ‘Getting Married’ is on its way to the Registry and displaying ‘Just Married’ [going] to the reception.

“I still get goose bumps thinking about it and the reaction from the public was my biggest satisfaction.”

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Money & matrimony

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As a married couple you will see money in a whole different light.

The sooner you sort your money matters the better.

ack in the days of dowries and bartered brides it was simple, he was the bread winner. Today, most women have been keeping themselves, or at least earning a comfortable amount of spending money of their own, for some time before they marry and have every intention of continuing to do so. Some may even have a property or a business which they prefer to keep as their own and over which they want to retain full control.

It’s a sad fact that money is the route of at least 45% of arguments between couples, and that includes those who claim they ‘never row’. So it’s a good idea to start, or even pre-start married life by deciding how you will manage your finances as a couple, with as much legal and emotional backup as you can use. It is vital a couple is on the same page with the plans they make.

The first thing to be agreed is whether to treat money as something to be managed jointly or separately. Going through all the points that have to be considered individually will help,

beginning with the Community of Acquests. These are the assets belonging to the couple, individually, when they marry. What these comprise is stated in the Laws of Malta.

Maltese law contemplates three types of matrimonial regimes which regulate the property of the spouses: The Community of Acquests, Separation of Estates and the Community of Residue under separate administration (CORSA).

Unless there has been a pre-nuptial agreement between the parties, the Community of Acquests regime automatically applies as soon as the marriage takes place. And everything that is earned or acquired by both spouses for the duration of their marriage is therefore accrued in a common fund.

A change in the regime can take place after marriage, by the authorisation of the Court of Voluntary Jurisdiction.

Whatever regime you choose, deciding who holds which purse strings needs careful consideration. The expenses a married couple will face need to be identified. These would be rent or a mortgage, health, home and life

insurance policies and utility and food bills; not to mention entertainment, transport, clothes and holidays.

Banking on it There are a million different reasons for which type of account/s you choose and only you, as a couple knowing your individual circumstances should make the decision. Although the advice of your bank manager or financial advisor would, naturally, be invaluable.

Separate accounts, or as several brides may joke, ‘running away funds’, certainly have their place. Prenuptial assets can be kept in them. Couples can keep their own money for things they don’t expect their spouses to buy for them, presents for their close family members and special items they want to save for.

Couples marrying at an older age may find it particularly important to continue managing their own money. And when both partners have full-time jobs and have been used to the freedom of doing their own budgeting it seems reasonable to expect they will consider separate accounts. Also, those who tie the knot

later in life may be bringing valuable assets or, not so welcome, a private debt to the marriage, making another reason why separate accounts might be preferable.

A joint current account, in both names, where both parties can sign cheques, hold credit or debit cards and with each partner contributing an agreed amount each month would be a practical way to deal with the basic outgoings. It would also ensure access to funds in an emergency and help couples keep abreast of how much they are spending.

Saving for the future, the financial future including whatever job changes, family additions and property projects you will have as a couple, is vital. Don’t make hurried decisions. Research options, take expert advice, ensure backup and security and keep putting in regular amounts, no matter what. You will never regret it.

So, whether married life proves to be for richer or for poorer, and most are a bit of both, take care of your funds, whoever earns what, so you can indeed live happily ever after.

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BUFFET OR BANQUET

After a perfect wedding ceremony everyone can relax and enjoy the feast. But should you choose a traditional sit-down dinner or flexible food stations?

Elegant table settings suit a banquet choice

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hatever time of day you get married your guests will be looking forward to the reception.

So deciding how to feed so many people of different ages, who may or may not know each other, and are full of excitement and sentimentality at helping you celebrate one of the most important days of your life, could be enough to make you consider calling the whole thing off.

Of course, you won’t. Instead you imagine happy guests enjoying delicious food and drink, circulating in one luxurious cocktail-style party.

Or you may see them anticipating their choices at an appetising buffet, or chatting animatedly as they wait for each course to arrive at their table. Which will you choose?

Certainly your choice should depend on the number of guests and their ages, and the location and size of the reception venue. You’ll need to consider how you’d like the toasts and speeches to be conducted, whether there will be ongoing entertainment or dancing towards the end, how the photographer will want to fulfill his or her brief and, very importantly, what you can afford. Consult friends whose weddings rocked and several caterers, to find one you feel you can trust to do the best they can to ensure their menus will suit everyone, whatever serving style you decide on.

Then think of the type of food you want. Some dishes just do not work unless they are brought to your table by a flurry of waiters. Others make guests’ mouths water simply by looking so deliciously

make sure there’s a cover dish for the unexpected allergy sufferer.

Food awareness has reached the level where any caterer worth his salt should be able to give every guest a delicious meal and everything should be timed so that no one is waiting for their second course while their neighbour is finishing her pudding.

Another thing to consider with a banquet is seating. Here is not the place to discuss where to sit certain

A buffet feast for the eyes attractive displayed on a long table, inviting you to help yourself.

And there’s the cocktail menu, which really will ensure everyone has something they like, as so many finger-food and mini-size delicacies stream continuously through the room. Guests are free to stay in one place, mingle among their many friends, or station themselves by a door so they need not miss a morsel. If you’re having an evening reception, people who have already eaten during the day or prefer lighter meals at night will welcome the chance to simply graze gently through the evening.

Many people love a buffet, it seems to offer a greater choice.

And there is absolutely no reason why a buffet menu should not be themed to include hot and cold dishes and ethnic or fun, fast food dishes if you like. Guests like the fact that they don’t feel they have to wait for everyone to be served

before they can tuck in. They can also have a say over portion sizes and only take the items they really enjoy. Welltimed serving arrangements will avoid people queuing too long and skilled catering will make sure each dish always looks fresh and appetising.

If you do choose a buffet, consider seating people with children and older guests nearest the serving tables, for obvious reasons. You might even try and have a special area or table just for the older children, so they can feel grown up and independent and their parents will be able to enjoy the event in their own right.

Attractive as the first two options are, many couples feel a plated dinner is the only way to go. It has a formality and elegance that lends itself to a reception later in the day and certainly does feel lavish. It is also all the more important to select a menu that takes in every kind of preference and dietary requirement you can

gle eet and min guests can m e er h w g in ‘difficult’ guests, cktail sett A beautiful co embarrassing relatives, heavy imagine. drinkers, shy singletons and In this case it is sensible to those whose road to success, or stick to safe, simple food chronic ill health, is all they choices from a chef or caterer ever talk about. But you’ll have you know can pimp them up to do it some time. Good luck. into something with a really At the end of this special day visual and flavourful wow what really matters is that factor. Discuss any menu everyone has wined and dined choices so vegetarians and well and felt welcome as they anyone who has to leave the share all the joy of your room if a fish arrives on their wedding feast and the plate can both be at ease. And happiness it represents.

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A small collector’s item is an original and charming choice

Say a big thank you with jewellery to wear on the day

Little attendants would love a small teddy in a wedding outfit

The PERFECT

PRESENT Y

ou have chosen your bridesmaids, maids of honour, flower girls and page boys very carefully so, naturally, you will want to give them something that not only marks your wedding day but also has a specific meaning for you both. It is always more intimate, and fun, to give each person a different gift that reflects their interests and your special relationship. You could include a little extra something for the chief bridesmaid, considering the organisation and responsibility her role demands.

Even if you have something in mind, don’t leave it too late. The items you want may disappear or take more time than you allowed to source or be made.

Searching on line will throw up any number of ideas, traditional and truly off the wall, and can turn up some original, amusing and useful items.

To make your gift extra personal, look out for fabulous finds, antique or modern, of something each bridesmaid collects. Someone who is constantly on the go would love a luxury spa break or away day. A pretty bag containing their favourite make-up or toilet items is thoughtful gift, especially if it is presented at the rehearsal and the items are specially picked for the day. Jewellery to wear on the day, which goes with the bridesmaid’s dress, would be a welcome gift. But make sure it is in a style they always wear so it can be enjoyed long after the actual day.

For the best man and ushers again, something personal relating to their hobby, favourite sport or car is a safe choice, especially if you use a little imagination to find a way of including an inscription to mark the occasion.

Don’t be afraid to give a voucher. They can be a real treat for anyone who loves to shop for beauty products and gorgeous shoes and clothes or a significant item for their home, which will remind them of a wonderful day whenever they look at it. Present it in a pretty tin, box or wallet

Useful gifts with a special inscription add a personal touch

The custom of gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen has been an important wedding tradition for centuries.

But how can a modern couple say thank you?

Pretty bags of favourite toiletries are welcome gifts Of course, you will also want to thank your parents and anyone else who has gone out of their way to help.

Generally flowers, a handsome hamper of treats to eat and drink, taking them out for dinner or on an away day would be most welcome.

The time for giving It is entirely up to you when you distribute your gifts.

Traditionally bridesmaids’ gifts are given during the rehearsal dinner, or lunch. Some brides choose lunch or teatime on the actual wedding day; if you can possibly find the time that could work. Otherwise meet with each member of your ‘team’ individually beforehand to make your presentation and spend a little precious time enjoying your friendship and the great event to come.

Alternatively, the couple can give some presents between the wedding speeches, which always include thank yous and toasts to all who have made their wedding so magical.

Traditionally, the groom buys something for the best man, bridesmaids, ushers and mothers. Nowadays, however, many couple choose the Don’t be gifts together and either split the afraid to give cost or build it into the a voucher, or wedding budget. a spa treat

A word about favours

with a suitable message marking it as a keepsake.

A small teddy or little doll dressed in a wedding outfit, possibly made from the same material as their own outfit, is a sweet idea for the youngest members of the bridal party.

Their parents would also be overjoyed if you thoughtfully made them a present of said outfit! For older bridesmaids and ring bearers it’s probably best to have a word with their parents about which must-have item would make their day as they attend your big day.

These may be a sweet way of giving your guests thank you souvenirs and many, from tea lights to small silver ornaments, are very charming. But these days lots of couples are acknowledging gifts with a printed card mentioning a charity or cause which they are supporting instead of giving trinkets. What could be nicer for your guests than knowing their presents and presence at such a happy time also means a donation for a good cause?

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TRINKETS & TRADITIONS

Something old, something new... there are so many charms and traditions associated with weddings it would be certainly be fun to include some in your celebrations.

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ven the least superstitious or sentimental bride is likely to be a little swayed towards some of the many symbols of good luck and happiness for her wedding. One of the most popular, a horseshoe, brings good fortune to your married life. Quite where this idea originated is not too clear; there are many legends, in fact.

But as the link can be traced to several countries, over as many centuries, it seems fair enough to continue the tradition. So, somewhere in a bouquet or as a piece of jewellery, a bride may carry a little horseshoe. Other ways to include this token are as decorations on the wedding cake and in the wedding venue or even tied to the bumper of the car in which the bride and groom leave their reception.

Incidentally, while some say a horseshoe must always be pointing upwards so the luck will stay in, others claim if it’s held pointing downwards happiness will pour onto the wearer and all around her, so either way a bride with a horseshoe will be lucky.

Other charms and trinkets linked with a happy marriage are rings, bells, lovebirds, clover, shamrock and flowers, shoes, top hats, hearts, ships and planes, depicting travel and little coins, bags and sacks indicating financial security.

In the early decades of the 20th century, when charm bracelets were extremely popular charms would always be given to celebrate a wedding and for each important anniversary or event that followed.

A less well-known custom from Victorian times combines charms and the wedding cake. During the reception, and nowadays perhaps at the bridal shower, a cake pull takes place.

Charm pull ties fanning out from a wedding cake Using special techniques silver or gold charms, tied to lengths of white ribbon or tiny pearls threaded on cotton, are inserted into a beautiful cake. You will have to find a baker who knows how this can be done. Rather than being baked into the cake the charms are hidden between the cake layers or the bottom layer and the plate so they can slide in and out easily.

At the appointed time the guests gather near the

cake with the charm ribbons fanned out around it. Just before it is cut they pull one and claim their charm.

The number of charms used depends on who will be invited to pull one.

This is up to the bride who will most likely choose bridesmaids and maids of honour, best friends, her mother and mother-inlaw, witnesses, more or less anyone to whom she has a very close connection and deserves such a special wedding souvenir.

Sometimes, there are tiny, named labels at the end of each tie and guests pull their own. This is because the bride has chosen a certain charm with a particular association specifically for each one of them. This is a truly delightful way of showing your guests how much they mean to you.

If you would like to include this romantic and elegant tradition at your wedding, it’s easy to find ribbon or pearl ties, or make your own. And hundreds of charms can be found either locally or on line, usually with a sweet explanation of what they symbolise.

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