Volume 35, Issue 21 - Feb. 14, 2013

February 14, 2013

Volume 35, Issue 21

Serving the Auraria Campus since 1979

www.metnews.org

TheMetropolitan

Mines breaks backboard, can’t break streak MetNews Short staff creates big problems

4

InSight Valentine’s offers mixed emotions 6

MetroSpective For the love of chocolate: Denver shows off its sweet side

10

Rants+Raves “Side Effects” : bad prognosis 12

MetSports Baseball splits two in season opener The Roadrunners walk off the court after an unexpected delay of game occurred during MSU Denver's homecoming match against the Colorado School of Mines. Trevor Wages, Mines center, dunked the ball, causing the backboard to shatter Feb. 8 at the Auraria Event Center. The game resumed two days later on Feb. 10, where the Roadrunners went on to defeat CSM 70-62. Photo by Heather Newman • hnewman3@msudenver.edu

15

16

2 February 14, 2013 MetNews TheMetropolitan

You and a guest are invited to a special advance screening of

Bless Me, ultiMa Stop by The Metropolitan starting today to pick up your complimentary passes!

Tivoli Student Union Ste. 313 Must show valid student I.D. THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13. PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13.

Supplies are limited. The screening will be held on Tuesday, 2/19 at 7:30PM at a local theater. Sponsors and their dependents are not eligible to receive a prize. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee a seat at the theater. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of prizes assumes any and all risks related to use of prize, and accepts any restrictions required by prize provider. ARENAS Entertainment, Tenaja Productions, Allied-THA, Gofobo, The Metropolitan and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of prizes. Prizes cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. Not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her prize in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal, state and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. NO PHONE CALLS

Opens in Denver On February 22! www.blessmeultima.com

The MeTropoliTan ThUrS: 2/14/13 B&W 5” x 7” all.BMU-p.0214.MeTro

rM

ENTER FOR THE CHANCE TO WIN A PASS TO THE SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF

BY TEXTING THE WORD INFORMANT AND YOUR ZIP CODE TO 43549!

EXAMPLE TEXT: INFORMANT 80241 ENTRY DEADLINE: FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15

THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13 (PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED) SOME MATERIAL MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 13.

There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Check your plan. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Limit one entry per cell phone. Winners will be drawn at random and notified via text message with screening details by Monday, 2/18 at 5:00 PM. The screening will be held on Tuesday, 2/19 at 7:00 PM at a local theater. Sponsors and their dependents are not eligible to receive a prize. Supplies are limited. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee a seat at the theater. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house.

No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of prizes assumes any and all risks related to use of prize, and accepts any restrictions required by prize provider. Summit Entertainment, Allied-THA, 43KIX, The Metropolitan and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of prizes. Prizes cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. Not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her prize in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal, state and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. NO PHONE CALLS!

IN THEATERS FEbRuARy 22 Snitch-Movie.com • Facebook.com/SnitchMovie • @SummitEnt

METROPOLITAN

TheMetropolitan February 14, 2013

MetNews

3

Civil unions pass Colorado state senate Remigio Darby rdarby@msudenver.edu Collene Lewis clewis66@msudenver.edu Colorado’s Senate is seeing red, white and rainbow.

Civil unions passed through the Colorado Senate Feb. 11, on a vote of 21 to 14. As the bill moves to the House, controlled by Democrats since November 2012, there’s a chance Coloradans are one step closer to legalizing same-sex marriage.

The bill’s sponsors tweeted their appreciation of the 2013 bill passing. Openly gay Sen. Lucía Guzmán, D-Denver, tweeted “Senate passing [today]! Can’t say exactly how long we’ve waited [for] this, but it feels like justice rolling down the mountain.”

The federal government currently does not recognize samesex marriage, and many gay and lesbian Americans lack the legal protections of their married heterosexual counterparts.

According to a 2011 U.S. Census Bureau statement, there were

131,729 same-sex married couple households and 514,735 same-sex unmarried partner households.

Sonya Suhr, MSU Denver rhetoric major and 38-year-old mother, is a lesbian.

In addition to balancing family and classes, Suhr is engaged. Like many fiancées, she is excited to show off her ring and admits to having dreams about her wedding.

“Marriage equality would mean we have the same rights and we wouldn’t have to be secondclass citizens anymore,” Suhr said.

“It has nothing to do with religion.

It has everything to do with me as a human being and as a citizen of this country having the same rights as every other American.”

According to a government report on federal laws of marital status, there are 1,049 distinctions gay couples do not have access to, including taxation, beneficiary designations and adoption.

Civil unions provide legal protection to couples at the state level, but omit federal protections and the dignity, clarity and power of the word “marriage,” according to the Gay and Lesbian Advocates

and Defender’s publication on civil unions.

Auraria Campus, with its diverse Denver-based community, is largely accepting toward sexual minority individuals. Steve Willich, director of the GLBT Student Services at Auraria, is committed to the empowerment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.

“The story of our success is in helping the students stay here in college by helping them overcome obstacles,” Willich said. “Our work is to level the educational playing field for GLBT students to give them an equal opportunity to access their education.”

The climate toward the GLBT community, leading up to the passing of civil unions in the Senate, has improved.

In May, President Obama was the first sitting U.S. president to announce support of same-sex marriage. Supporters celebrated his re-election along with election victories for same-sex marriage in four states.

Maryland, Maine and Washington voted to legalize same-sex

marriage while the Minnesota electorate denied a state constitutional ban against it. Before this election, Americans had voted against gay marriage 32 times.

During the 2012 Colorado legislative session, the Senate passed civil unions on a vote of 23 to 12. Once it reached the House, Speaker Frank McNulty, R-Highlands Ranch, stalled the legislative session and killed the civil union bill, according to One Colorado’s review of the 2012 session.

Suhr said she is optimistic about marriage equality becoming a reality in the U.S. despite the defeat of the 2012 Colorado civil union bill benefiting same-sex couples.

Elected officials have become more transparent about their sexuality. Rep. Mark Ferrandino was elected the state majority House speaker, becoming the first openly gay person to hold that position.

Mindy Barton, legal director of the GLBT Center of Colorado, said Ferrandino’s achievement is historic.

“My opinion is that having out LGBT people as elected officials,

and particularly in leadership positions, shows the amount of progress that has been made by a community of people who have historically faced significant harassment and discrimination,” Barton said.

In 2011, Robin Kniech, 37, was elected the first openly gay Denver City Councilwoman.

“Society benefits from stable families because when you have rights, you also take on responsibilities,” Kniech said. “Having gays and lesbians’ relationships recognized is the path for us to be full members of society.”

As gay marriage celebrates some success on the state level, supporters look toward federal recognition as the ultimate goal.

However, the Defense of Marriage Act defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman, excluding same-sex couples.

“It’s only a matter of time,” Suhr said. “Opponents of samesex marriage will be embarrassed to have been on the wrong side of history.”

BOT spring meeting covers gun ban, ASSET, smoking Timothy Ulrich tulrich@msudenver.edu Maalikah Hartley mhartle8@msudenver.edu

Above: Vice president Michelle Lucero and Ellen Robinson discuss MSU Denver graduation rates Feb. 7 at the Board of Trustees meeting.

Left: Tom Cech, director of One World One Water Center for Urban Water Education and Stewardship, discusses MSU Denver’s Water Studies minor and hiring MSU Denver students, Feb. 7 at the Board of Trustees meeting.

Photos by Trevor Davis • tdavis84@msudenver.edu

MSU Denver’s Board of Trustees held their first public meeting for spring Feb. 7 to discuss future policy for the University, while acknowledging the achievements of the past semester.

President Stephen Jordan expressed his concern that MSU Denver still allows concealed-carry on campus and urged the board to support new legislation presented

by Rep. Claire Levy of Boulder to rid college campuses of all guns.

“I’m generally in support of the concept,” said trustee Melody Harris, chair of the governance committee and academic and student affairs committee. “[But] I’ve never seen the bill. I would want to review the language before we say were supporting the bill.”

Jordan noted that the Colorado Supreme Court already struck down a gun-ban measure that was introduced by the University of Colorado, but that did not deter the board from unanimously supporting the concept of Levy’s bill.

As far as the Advancing Students for a Stronger Economy Tomorrow bill, Jordan said MSU Denver proved to be a good example of the positive fiscal impact the bill will garnish because of its similar Colorado High School/ GED Tuition rate.

“I think many people viewed what this board did as having been a very important and critical stimulus to moving the ASSET concept forward,” Jordan said. “We as an institution continue to get great credit for [it].”

Laura Noe, president of the student government assembly, discussed organizing a smoking policy survey that SGA will bring forth to the student body.

“If we receive overwhelming feedback that we will want something to be done about the current policy, to have that change, we’re going to put that on our ballot during the spring elections to have the students vote on it,” Noe said.

“Then it would be something we will take on next year.”

Noe also talked about the potential to get more cell phone signal receptors in all campus

buildings while noting a student who had been attacked last month could not use her phone.

Tom Cech, director of the One World One Water Center on campus, discussed his pleasure for the support that the pilot Water Studies minor has been receiving— the first of its kind in the country.

Metro’s flight team and industrial design students were also acknowledged for their donation to Veterans of Foreign Wars and their design of a gyrocopter’s cockpit, which was sent to Phenix, a Spanish Gyrocopter company.

Faculty members that were acknowledged were Mark Potter, associate vice president for academic and civic collaboration, who received tenure, Jeff Forrest, chair of the Department of Aviation and Aerospace Science, who has been appointed by Governor Hickenlooper to the Colorado Division of Aeronautics board of directors, and Natalie Lutes, vice president of administration, finance and facilities, who will be resigning after 35 years on campus.

The next public meeting will be held Thursday, Apr. 4.

4 February 14, 2013 MetNews TheMetropolitan

Students to weigh in on food truck policy Collene Lewis clewis66@msudenver.edu Students will have a say in the fate of the food trucks.

Though typically only seen near St. Cajetan’s, food trucks flocked to the Tivoli Commons for the 2013 Homecoming Week.

This week, food trucks were exempt from the defined food vendor location of Lawrence Way and the $75 reservation fee during special events, like Homecoming Week.

Students will have a voice when it comes to how long the trucks stay on campus, and other changes to the Outdoor Food Vendor Policy at the student government assembly town hall meeting April 16 in Tivoli 320 B and C. Laura Noe, student government assembly president, said there wasn’t a student representative present when the food truck policy was decided last spring.

She said the initial policymaking wasn’t very transparent to students’ needs.

“I don’t think they realized how much the students love the

food trucks and how much this policy was going to impact us,” Noe said. “Students are clearly pretty upset about it.”

Noe said communication on food trucks is the first step forward, and having administrators present at the town hall would help students have a better grasp on the policy and a greater appreciation for the administration.

She also said the town hall would break communication barriers between faculty and students.

“Bringing everyone together and being able to have that healthy dialogue and conversation would help both entities,” Noe said.

For some students, there are other concerns behind food trucks.

Cat Chafee, MSU Denver nutrition major, said she was less interested in having more days dedicated to food trucks and more concerned with the quality of food itself.

Chafee said out of all potential changes made with food trucks, she’d prefer to have healthier choices available.

“I’m a vegan, so it would be nice to have some more options,” Chafee said.

The Auraria Higher Education Center will also be working to bring the food truck town hall to life.

Jerry Mason, director of support services at AHEC, will act as moderator for the town hall.

Mason said no policy is perfect and the food truck policy will need to be updated, but the town hall will give students the chance to give feedback and understand how the policy came about.

“Of the 17 or some odd food vendors that exist on campus, all their revenue goes back into the bond fee and keeps the students’ bond fee low,” Mason said.

Mason said that to keep the bond fee low, income must come in from the food vendors and other businesses on campus.

According to Mason, food trucks impact the money going to these other vendors.

“The better that McDonald’s does, the more [money] that’s coming back into making your guys’ fees low,” Mason said. “That’s the benefit for at least having a policy on food trucks.”

Despite the potential benefits

Auraria students visit the Manna from Heaven Vietnamese food truck.

Photo by Katie Avery •kavery1@msudenver.edu

from both the town hall and policy itself, there are discrepancies as to where money from the food trucks is going.

According to the student government assembly’s resolution SR 12-39, addressing changes toward the current policy would be in the best interest for the diversity of food options and on-campus businesses paying into the bond fund.

The Student Facilities Bond Fund fronts the bill to various

renovation projects and capital improvements to the Tivoli Student Union.

In addition, to the bond fund, Mason said partial funds from Red Robin Burger Works and Dazbog contribute to student scholarships.

According to the Outdoor Food Vendor Policy, food trucks do not contribute to the Student Facilities Bond Fund.

IT performance issues may be result of staff shortages

James Lyall, chief information officer and associate vice president of MSU Denver is making IT staff shortages a priority.

Photo courtesy of MSU Denver

Lee Ridley lrildey1@msudenver.edu The MSU Denver community may have noticed that Banner, ConnectU and campus email systems were performing slowly or were down in recent weeks. This was partly due to hardware failures. But a larger challenge for the information technology team is staff shortages.

MSU Denver President Stephen Jordan acknowledged in his Spring Update that

the University’s IT team has more than 20 vacancies, or about one-third of its workforce. Some of the vacancies are because senior staff members have retired, said Mike Hart, director of security, networking, asset management, and procurement. A larger problem may be the greener grass private industry has to offer.

“The market is picking up for IT people,” Hart said. “Those jobs, especially in the private sector, are paying more than state jobs.”

MSU Denver’s IT staff are employees of the state of Colorado, not the university, so salaries are set by the state. Those salaries are not keeping up with the market, according to the Annual Compensation Survey Report for Fiscal Year 2013-2014 published by the Colorado Department of Personnel & Administration.

The survey found that state employees are earning on average 9.2 percent less than private sector employees. For IT positions, the gap is wider, with nine of the 14 state positions paying at least 10 percent less, and some as much as 30 or 40 percent less.

Another challenge in filling vacancies is the state’s hiring process. Gov. John Hickenlooper told “The Denver Post” last fall that the process can be clumsy and counterproductive compared to private sector employment processes.

Until last fall, state hiring managers were limited to interviewing only the top three candidates for a position, even if more than three qualified. Hart said Constitutional Colorado State Personnel System Amendment, Amendment S, which passed in November 2012, has helped some.

“It does allow us to do hiring without some of the testing requirements that were

there,” he said. “The new rule allows us to pick the top six candidates instead of just the top three, which is huge for us.”

He said the top three candidates may have looked great on paper but turned out not to be a fit. In these cases, the university has to start over with a new search, which often caused long delays in filling positions.

An additional obstacle to attracting new and retaining current employees is the lack of raises. According to the March 2012 Consumer Price Index, the national cost of living increased by 3.4 percent. But according to the Annual Compensation Survey Report, classified state employees have not received an annual salary increase in four years.

There is hope on the horizon for state employees. The state is scheduled to implement a pay structure redesign in July 2013 to lessen the salary gap between state and private sector employees.

For now, MSU Denver’s IT management is doing what it can to solve the staffing shortage. They are working closely with human resources and reviewing and rewriting job descriptions, Hart said.

They are also reviewing job classifications to ensure jobs are being classified correctly. In certain situations, they can hire contractors, but that is not the preferred option.

“The number one thing we’re doing is just focusing heavily on it and spending a lot of our time on it,” Hart said.

James Lyall, chief information officer and associate vice president at MSU Denver also said solving the staff shortage problems is a priority for MSU Denver administration.

“MSU Denver is very aware of the strategic impact that investing in technology can

have on the institution, and we are actively developing a strategic plan to help guide that investment purposely in support of the institution’s priorities,” he said.

Last fall, university officials created an IT Strategic Planning Task Force. The task force will make recommendations on a variety of topics related to overcoming short and long term IT challenges. It recently sent a survey to all MSU Denver staff, faculty and students. The team will review survey results during a strategic planning retreat scheduled for March.

“The survey is expected to provide information on the users’ expectations about IT and difficulties they may have experienced,” Raj Khandekar, Ph.D., professor of management at MSU Denver and task force cochair, said. “The survey should also provide information on what improvements IT folks themselves want to see.”

The challenges facing MSU Denver’s IT team are not all specific to MSU Denver, Hart said. In most IT environments, long range planning sometimes takes a backseat when unplanned outages occur.

Much of the repair and maintenance work has to take place after hours and on weekends. For example, MSU Denver’s IT team is currently testing new hardware that is scheduled to be installed over spring break.

“I can’t say enough about the people out there in the trenches,” Hart said. “We’ve had a lot of after-hours work. These are staffers that are coming in normal hours, and then working at night, and they’re not getting paid overtime. These people are working their tails off.”

TheMetropolitan MetNews February 14, 2013

5

SGA elections loom Year-long spots up for grabs Maalikah Hartley mhartle8@msudenver.edu

Metro North I-25 & 120th

303-450-5111

11990 Grant Street, Northglenn. Near I-25 and 120th located in the City Wide Bank Building.

DEPT #

COURSE TITLE/CREDITS

CRN

DAYS/TIME

DATES

CPD 2300

Time Management

34622

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

5/04–5/11

CPD 2310

Stress Management

34718

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

4/20–4/27

CPD 2330

Assertiveness

34725

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

2/23–3/02

JRN 4890

Social Documentary

33621

F, 9 a.m.–12 p.m.

4/12–5/18

PSC 3140

The American Congress and Legislative Process

33762

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

PSY 295E

Comparative Buddhist and Western Psychology

34293

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

SPE 1710

Interpersonal Communication

33366

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

Metro South

I-25 & Orchard 303-721-1313

5660 Greenwood Plaza Blvd., Greenwood Village. Near Orchard Road and I-25 located in the Triad North Bldg. Directly across from the Orchard Train Station.

DEPT #

COURSE TITLE/CREDITS

CRN

DAYS/TIME

DATES

ACC 2020

Principles of Accounting II

33933

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

CPD 2310

Stress Management

34715

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

3/09–3/16

CPD 2320

Self Esteem

34723

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

4/20–4/27

CPD 2360

Multi-Level Wellness

34732

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

4/06–4/13

EDU 4300

Acting Like a Teacher

33397

S, 9 a.m.–2:30 p.m.

4/13–5/18

EDU 4700

Substitute Teacher Workshop

34857

S, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

3/16–3/23

HSP 3580

Therapeutic Resistance

34491

FS, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

3/22–3/23

HSP 4200

Child Abuse and Neglect

34493

FS, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

2/15–2/23

HSP 4290

PTSD & Trauma Informed Care

34495

FS, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

5/10–5/11

PHI 1030

Introduction to Ethics

32788

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

PSY 3000

Theories of Personality

33714

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

SPE 1010

Public Speaking

33020

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

SPE 4300

Acting Like A Teacher

33398

S, 9 a.m.–2:30 p.m.

4/13–5/18

THE 3200

Performance of Literature I: Solo

33311

S, 8:30 a.m.–3:15 p.m.

3/23–5/18

THE 4300

Acting Like A Teacher

33399

S, 9 a.m.–2:30 p.m.

4/13–5/18

Election season is upon us once again.

MSU Denver’s Student Government Assembly will be holding elections the second week of April. Students have until March 8 to submit nominations for any position they would like to hold.

Positions up for grabs include the presidency, vice presidency, two seats for student trustee, two seats for the Student Advisory Committee to the Auraria Board and 10 senate seats. Students must be taking at least six credit hours and have a 2.0 GPA before applying for their nomination at the SGA office in Tivoli 307. Students must obtain at least 100 supporting signatures to be nominated for an executive position, and 50 for a legislative position.

“It’s all types of students who run,” said Amy Murlowski, SGA Chair of the Election Commission and behavioral science student.

“It’s great leadership experience and it’s great policy-making experience. So there are lots of roles that aren’t necessarily poli sci but have to do with policy.”

Once candidates are nominated, SGA will hold information sessions to discuss campaign rules, such as where signs and fliers can be posted, and spending and donation limits. There is no posting allowed during the week of elections and no campaigning allowed in the SGA office. The rules are set forth by the Auraria Higher Education Committee, as all three Auraria institutions will be holding their elections at the same time.

A meeting, where students and nominees can ask questions and debate, will be held outside of the King Center, Monday, April 1, followed by a candidate meet-and-greet April 3 at the Tivoli Turnhall. Students can vote online via ConnectU or in person at the Multi-Cultural Lounge the week of April 8-14.

According to SGA’s website, www. msudenver.edu/sga, the Executive Branch echoes the student voice to the Auraria Board, the Student Affairs Board, and the

President’s Office. The student trustee acts as a liaison between the student body and the Board of Trustees. The SGA Senate reviews all formal complaints brought forth by students or student organizations and may introduce new legislation by sponsoring a bill. The senate can enact, repeal or amend all legislative matters, approve presidential appointees, make committees, approve the next fiscal year’s SGA budget presented by the President and remove any SGA officer by a two-thirds vote.

SGA’s unelected office is the Student Court, which settles disputes between students, clubs, or the SGA. Justices sit on a panel and hear cases brought by any of these entities, make a ruling on each case, and determine the appropriate remedy. There is a Freshman Council that speaks on behalf of freshman, and Metro “Runners” who act as a liaison between the student body and government.

Clair Tralles, a biology major, joined SGA as a senator because she wanted to get to know her fellow students and make an impact on campus. She said that while SGA is a very ambitious organization, sometimes not all issues, like student health care, can turn out successfully.

“I think the biggest obstacle we face as a student run-organization is that many decisions we make affect how the Auraria campus does business,” she said. “A lot of the resolutions we support save students money but might also harm business owners, and that can impede us from making progress.”

Last semester, SGA was victorious with several issues, including Parking Pass Lotteries, shower curtains in the men’s locker rooms, Academic Integrity Week and the plus and minus grading system, among others. Tralles said issues that may be addressed in the future will concern school spirit, saving students money and maintaining the health of the student body with a possible smoking resolution.

Students can hold office for one year and run again as often as they’d like. Last year SACAB was the only position that went uncontested.

4600 Hale Parkway, Suite 490 Denver, CO 80220

6 February 14, 2013 TheMetropolitan

InSight

The different hearts of Valentine’s Day

MetStaff Editor-in-Chief Brian T. McGinn: bmcginn3@msudenver.edu Managing Editor Kayla Whitney: kwhitne2@msudenver.edu

Nikki Work nwork@msudenver.edu

Love the love For 364 days of the year, we girls put up with a lot. Season by season, we lose our men to sports. Some of us cook, some of us clean and the really freaking brave among us raise children. Damn it, we deserve Valentine’s Day. Ladies, we all know how clueless men can be. We are not fine, our butt does NOT look big in these jeans and yes, size does matter. Most of the time, we let guys slide with their indiscretions. All we ask is for some flowers, chocolate and irrationally large teddy bears on Feb. 14.

I know the anti-Valentine’s crowd argues that tokens of love should be given on the regular, and I completely agree. If girls got flowers every other Wednesday just because we’re awesome, I would rescind my argument. But this is the real world, and that’s not going to happen.

Now, don’t worry, gents – I’ve got you, too.

The gift ing shouldn’t just go one way. This holiday isn’t just about that special lady in your life, it’s about her love for you too. Because despite the picture in every girl’s head, we are not perfect. We pressure you to talk about your feelings, we cry — a lot — and at times, we have very high expectations. Valentine’s Day is equally about how much we appreciate the acceptance of our craziness.

We have a day to celebrate mothers, we have a day to celebrate fathers and we have about a dozen other holidays to commemorate different subsets of the population. Why not have a day to celebrate love and the people we care about?

Valentine’s Day is more than the uberhipsters with anti-commercialist sentiments.

It’s about celebrating relationships and gifting in the name of the warm-fuzzies.

If the only reason you are buying someone a present is because you feel obligated, the problem isn’t the holiday, it’s the relationship. You can’t blame Russell Stover or Hallmark for that.

Kelli Heitstuman-Tomko ktomko@msudenver.edu

Brian T. McGinn bmcginn3@msudenver.edu

Harsh reality Can’t buy love I was never a girl who got flowers on Valentine’s Day. There was no one to give them to me.

When I finally got engaged, my intended sent me two dozen carnations. It was a monumental event in my life.

Valentine’s Day was never that good again.

I married a man who hated the forced ceremony and celebrations of events and holidays.

He hated the expectation that he was going to have to produce a gift or card on demand.

It took years for me to realize that I was the problem. Or rather, he felt that I wasn’t worth the effort. We completed an amicable divorce before I came to that realization. But the understanding was like a knife in the ribs.

On our last Valentine’s Day, he had been in a rush to get out of the house that morning, so he went to work, without lunch.

I went to a deli and put together a box lunch for him. To top it off, I threw in a handful of heart-shaped Valentine’s candies. Then I hand delivered it to him.

I found him in a foul mood. He ranted about how he was carrying the family on his own, that he was “all alone in the world.” He took the deli box without thanking me.

I found out later that he enjoyed a romantic dinner with the woman whom he was seeing on the side. He bought her flowers and candy.

Every girlfriend that he had after that day has enjoyed his attention for the holidays. All I can remember is an angry lecture for what should have been a happy, romantic night.

I moved into my own room the December after that last Valentine’s Day, officially separated from my husband the day after our 17th anniversary. The divorce was final by June.

I still don’t get flowers for Valentine’s Day. It’s OK. I’ve come to terms with it.

Both men and women love attention, getting gifts and overindulging in all of life’s pleasures. Celebrating Valentine’s Day is just as trite as celebrating any other commercial U.S. holiday that recognizes the tradition of buying your way to someone’s heart.

You’re never too old to show how much you care for someone, but long past are the nostalgic days of exchanging candy and valentines in grade school. Giving flowers that will die in a week to symbolize your undying love seems fitting with short-lived college relationships.

It really doesn’t matter if this romantic holiday is the cure for what ails you or is simply an easy day to get laid. Many students go through partners as fast as they go through or lose lip balm. There are plenty of ways to show your love every day rather than making up for it one day out of the year with aphrodisiacs, childish cards, and a crowded dinner date.

If you are in a healthy relationship, you really don’t need a holiday to tell you to treat your partner like royalty. Your relationship is likely suffering if you feel like you need to go all out to prove your love. The real point of the holiday is to bring people together sexually, not to gauge a couple’s stability through gift giving.

Often known as “singles awareness day,” Valentine’s Day brings self-pity and depression to many adults. Celebrating the holiday by yourself may be a grim thought, but by no means warrants lowering your standards to give someone false hope of commitment.

Wait until restaurants are less crowded and more importantly chocolate and other romantic mementos are on clearance if you need your fi x.

Being struck by cupid’s arrow is supposed to be a desire for someone special not being struck by advertisements that tell you to buy enough prophylactics and lube to last until next Feb. 14.

Caleb Moore and the safety of extreme sports Ryan Borthick rborthick@msudenver.edu With the recent death of Caleb Moore due to his wreck at the X Games, there have been stirrings of the safety of the event going through a re-evaluation. In Moore’s run in the Snowmobile Freestyle event, he came up short in the landing while attempting a backflip, and was run over by his snowmobile. On Jan. 31, his family decided to pull life support.

While this event is tragic, this is the inherent danger of these

sports. Any time life and limb are risked, any person who engages in them has to come to terms that disaster is possible and accepted it.

It’s impossible to avoid the topic that there is a very real danger of coming to harm or worse. Anyone who has engaged in, and loves, these types of activities knows that whatever may come, it’s worth it.

Riders were taking their sleds to the backcountry and doing dangerous things on them long before an energy drink company offered them money to do so, and if these events were eliminated or watered

down in Aspen, enthusiast would just load up, drive up to Valdez, Alaska, and resume there.

Explaining that feeling to someone who has never felt passion for that rush is impossible, but it’s as if there is no choice to endanger yourself anymore — you have to do it.

There is a community around these sports that is very different from others. You don’t see bitter rivalries on the staging area of the X Games, when someone sticks the landing of the trick that blows everyone else off the scoreboard,

they all high five and congratulate each other instead of get bitter.

They know what is at stake and there is no room for pettiness or the “pressure of being pro” getting in the way of the community and brotherhood they share.

When something like what happened to Moore occurs, everyone mourns, but they understand.

He went out with his boots on and doing the thing in life he loved most. That’s what should come up when talking about him, not how what he loved enough to die for should be suppressed.

News Editor Kelli Heitstuman-Tomko: ktomko@msudenver.edu Assistant News Editors Collene Lewis: cmtlewis@msudenver.edu Maalikah Hartley: mhartle8@msudenver.edu MetroSpective Editor Nikki Work: nwork@msudenver.edu Assistant MetroSpective Editors Brent Zeimen: bzeimen@msudenver.edu Kailyn Lamb: klamb6@msudenver.edu Sports Editor Angelita Foster: amayer1@msudenver.edu Assistant Sports Editor Zilingo Nwuke: znuke@msudenver.edu Copy Editors J. Sebastian Sinisi Kate Rigot

Luke Powell

Photo Editor Ryan Borthick: rborthick@msudenver.edu Assistant Photo Editor Heather Newman: hnewman3@msudenver.edu Online Editor Nathalia Vélez: nvelez@msudenver.edu Multimedia Editor Ian Gassman: igassman@msudenver.edu Adviser Gary Massaro: gmassaro@msudenver.edu Webmaster Drew Jaynes: ajaynes1@msudenver.edu Director of Student Media Steve Haigh: shaigh@msudenver.edu Assistant Director of Student Media Marlena Hartz: mhartz@msudenver.edu Administrative Assistant of Student Media Elizabeth Norberg: enorbert@msudenver.edu Production Manager of Student Media Kathleen Jewby: kjewby@ msudenver.edu

The Metropolitan accepts submissions in the form of topicdriven columns and letters to the editor. Column article concepts must be submitted by 1 p.m..

Thursdays and the deadline for columns is 9 p.m. Sundays.

Columns range from 500 to 600 words. Letters to the editor must be submitted by 5 p.m. Mondays to be printed in that week’s edition.

There is a 500-word limit for letters to the editor. The Metropolitan reserves the right to edit letters for formatting and style. All submissions should be sent by e-mail to themetonline@gmail. com.

The Metropolitan is produced by and for the students of Metropolitan State University of Denver and serves the Auraria Campus.

The Metropolitan is supported by advertising revenue and student fees and is published every Thursday during the academic year and monthly during the summer semester.

Opinions expressed within do not necessarily reflect those of MSU Denver or its advertisers.

TheMetropolitan MetroSpective February 14, 2013

Plaza Suite 150 303-556-2525

24/7 Auraria Campus Emergency Phone Numbers Protocol to Contact the Auraria Police Department From any campus phone, CALL 911 From off-campus phones or cell phone, CALL 303-556-5000

7

8 February 14, 2013 MetroSpective TheMetropolitan

STEAL OF A

1 2 3

DEAL

Go to the Student Success Building.

Look for on the new kiosk.

Find a steal of a deal

(LIKE DISCOUNTS AT RESTAURANTS, SHOPS, SKI RESORTS AND MORE).

Tivoli 313 / 303.556.2507 studentmedia@msudenver.edu MetroStudentMedia.com

Discounts designed for students.

Access today’s deals from the kiosk in the Student Success Building.

TheMetropolitan February 14, 2013

MetroSpective

Bonfire lights up third annual car bash

Car smashing for a cause, to the rhythm of heavy metal Aaron Lambert alamber8@msudenver.edu Brent Zeimen bzeimen@msudenver.edu Food, fire, and heavy metal made for a smoking-hot combination at MSU Denver’s Homecoming Bonfire.

The MSU Denver Student Activities Committee hosted the third annual bonfire and car bash in the Dogwood parking lot, Feb. 7.

Included in the event were several well-known food trucks from the Denver area, MSU Denver Battle of the Bands winner Devoutcast, a humongous fire capable of melting orange safety cones and an old junker truck just begging for a beat down.

It was the last event in Homecoming Week, and all of the proceeds from the event went towards the MSU Denver Food Bank.

There was school spirit aplenty as the evening kicked off with Mark Jastorff, MSU Denver director of Alumni Relations, giving recognition to the MSU Denver men’s and women’s basketball teams.

Stephen Jordan, MSU Denver’s president, then took the stage after Jastorff and spoke about the good things that have happened over the past year at MSU Denver, including being officially recognized as a university.

“Is it a great day to be a Roadrunner? Absolutely.” Jordan said.

“A lot has changed since we were here one year ago.”

Once the bonfire was lit, the students gathered.

The bonfire sent a pillar of smoke into the sky, providing a signal, attracting students from across campus, like UCD Biology major Linh Ho. “We actually thought the garage was on fire at first, and we were like, ‘oh my god our cars are in there,’” Ho said.

Students huddled around the giant flames to keep warm while last week’s Battle of the Bands winner Devoutcast provided some background noise for attendees.

“They’re amazing. They’re doing really well for themselves, especially lately,” said Nikki Rumian, a UCD freshman.

In keeping with the university’s tradition, students also had the opportunity to smash an old junker truck with a sledgehammer.

Students, along with MSU Denver mascot Rowdy, appeared to enjoy bashing the oversized piece of scrap metal for charity.

The family of an MSU Denver student donated the truck for the festivities.

Several food trucks from around the Denver area also parked in Dogwood for the majority of the day and into the evening, providing students with some fine and diverse hometown eats — all for free, too.

Some of the trucks in attendance were Manna From Heaven, The Pink Tank, the Denver Cupcake Truck, and the Crock Spot.

The bonfire and car bash has become somewhat of a staple for MSU Denver’s Homecoming Week over the past few years.

“It is a tradition that we have added to homecoming,” said Matt Brinton, assistant director of Student Activities. “To my knowledge, [MSU Denver is] the only urban campus in the U.S. that hosts a bonfire. It’s a great event.”

Rowdy the Roadrunner goes in for the kill at the Homecoming Bonfire in the Dogwood parking lot.

Photo by Scott Lentz • slentz@msudenver.edu

Eric Ybaria, a freshmen at Metro, practices his contact juggling skills during the 2013 Homecoming Bonfire held in the Dogwood parking lot outside of the Student Success Building, Feb. 7. Photo by Heather Newman • hnewman3@msudenver.edu

9

10 February 14, 2013 TheMetropolitan

TheMetropolitan MetroSpective February 14, 2013

The Chocolate Therapist Happiness comes standard at The Chocolate Therapist.

“Everyone’s really happy when they come in the shop, and they’re really happy when they leave,” said Libby Nordeen, owner of the shop. “Chocolate and coffee is just a good-feeling kind of food for everybody.”

Nordeen and her husband, Jeff, bought The Chocolate Therapist in Sept. 2012. The shop has been producing goodies for four years as The Chocolate Therapist, and for 10

Warning: Extreme sweetness ahead

11

2560 W. Main St. #100 Littleton, CO 80120 (303) 795-7913

years prior as Chocolates by Mary Carol.

With 13 different kinds of bars currently in the shop, The Chocolate Therapist focuses on keeping their all hand-made chocolates organic and all-natural, using only hormone-free milk and organic oils in their recipes.

“We make everything here. We have no preservatives,” Nordeen said. “Because we don’t use the preservatives, it makes it taste slightly different, and our shelf life

is different.”

After hours, the shop also hosts classes for pairing wine and beer to chocolate.

“They’re really fun classes, you get to learn a little bit about where chocolate comes from and the history of it. You get a little bit of an education with the actual classes,” Nordeen said.

Store favorites include their toffee and chocolate bars, including the Down by the Sea Salt bar.

Down by the Sea Salt Chocolate Bar

All-natural 55 percent dark chocolate, Maldon sea salt crystals, sliced almonds Nate — 3.5/5 — At first, it was a little too salty. But once you start chewing and moving it around, it blends into an amazing mix. Super smooth, but not too rich of a dark chocolate. Although it was covered in almonds the taste wasn’t there – it was overpowered by the sweet and salty mix.

Nikki — 3/5 — I normally love the mix of sweet and salty, but this one has a little too much of the latter to really work. I would eat it, but I’m not sure I would ever choose it. The texture of it is the best part, though - the grit of the salt, the smoothness of the chocolate and the crunch of the almonds is textural brilliance.

Above: Roberta’s Chocolates features a variety of homemade truffles, in both traditional candy flavors and novelty flavors, such as habanero and champagne.

Left: Michelle Mendoza, daughter of the owner of Roberta’s Chocolates, makes all of the truffles in the shop. “We have fun every day,” Mendoza said.

Photos by Heather Newman • hnewman3@msudenver.edu

Stories and reviews by Nikki Work • nwork@msudenver.edu Reviews by Nate Hemmert • nhemmert@msudenver.edu

Roberta’s Chocolates 4840 W. 29th Ave. Denver, CO 80212 (303) 824-2069 For over a decade, Roberta’s Chocolates has been molding chocolate into experiences.

Though they don’t make their own chocolate, Roberta’s makes all of their treats in-house, and for every taste.

“We have over $10,000 chocolate molds,” said Michelle Mendoza, daughter of the owner Roberta Poirier. “If somebody’s looking for a frog, we have a frog. If somebody’s looking for a lightbulb, [we have] random stuff.”

The family owned and operated

shop also specializes in unique delicacies, like potato chips, jalapeños, and bacon dipped in chocolate.

“We say everything tastes better dipped in chocolate,” Mendoza said.

Aside from regular chocolates, the shop has a wall stocked with old-time candies and sodas.

“When we have a new customer come in, stand over here and look at this candy, you actually see them, in their head, go back to their childhood,” Mendoza said. “It’s really cool to walk down

memory lane with these customers.”

All the shop’s truffles and fudge are homemade, including their most popular item, Tiger Butter.

“Someone asked us, what was our biggest challenge. We said [it’s] keeping Tiger Butter in stock,” Mendoza said.

For Roberta and family, the fun of their job lies in creating experiences for their customers.

“Everybody leaves with a smile – people don’t leave mad,” Mendoza said.

Tiger Butter

Layered vanilla fudge, peanut butter, dark chocolate and peanut butter swirl Nate — 5/5 — Wow — Probably the best fudge I’ve ever had. I can’t remember any better, that’s for sure. It’s light for fudge, but still has very rich flavors that are perfectly balanced. One word: godly.

Nikki — 5/5 — It had me at “peanut butter.” Tiger Butter is rich, creamy, but not over-the-top. It really has a decadent feel to it, with enough of each flavor present to be distinct. It is easily the best fudge I’ve ever had sorry, Grandma.

Above: Libby Nordeen, owner of The Chocolate Therapist, explains her shop’s all-natural, hand-made recipes. She and her husband, Jeff, bought the company in Sept. 2012.

Below: At Dietrich’s Chocolate & Espresso, the all-chocolate heart boxes have been a staple item since the company’s start nearly 40 years ago.

Photos by Heather Newman • hnewman3@msudenver.edu

Dietrich’s Chocolate & Espresso

1734 E. Evans Ave. Denver, CO 80210 (303) 777-3358

Chocolate isn’t just a business for Erich Dietrich, owner of Dietrich’s Chocolate & Espresso.

It’s a life.

“This is my 51st year [in the chocolate business,]” Dietrich said.

“It’s a long, winding career.”

After completing his apprenticeship in Germany, Dietrich has been in business in the Denver area for nearly 40 years.

Dietrich’s Chocolate & Espresso has been at their current location for 22 years.

“We have young people coming in now, even in their thirties, saying, ‘my grandma used to buy this for me,’” said Christine Sues Dietrich, Erich’s wife. “He still makes a lot of the same products.”

While still using all of their original recipes, the shop not only produces about 70 percent of their

own candies, but also serve a full breakfast and lunch. Each meal includes one of the shop’s homemade chocolates.

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only chocolate I’ve eaten for the last 35 years, because it’s the best,” Sues Dietrich said. “He has an amazing sense of balance. The flavors never overpower the chocolate. It’s so subtle, and it’s so good.”

The shop has changed location three times, but as Erich Dietrich said, they “just keep hanging around.”

“The best part is, people enjoy the product,” Erich Dietrich said.

“There’s never any returns.”

Among the store’s many recipes are the seasonal truffles. For Valentine’s Day, Dietrich’s special is the Raspberry Soufflé Truffle, in both milk and dark chocolate.

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Soufflé Truffle Nate — 4.5/5 — Mmmm. The raspberry is subtle at first, but when it comes through: oh so good. It’s a natural raspberry flavor too – which is rare in candy these days. The truffle center is super smooth and soft — not too rich like many truffles. An amazingly balanced truffle, flat out.

Nikki — 4/5 — The dark chocolate has a good balance of bitter and sweet, and is one of the smoothest chocolates I have ever tasted. What really stands out about this truffle is that the “truffle” flavor is not overwhelming, but compliments the subtle hints of raspberry. It’s rich, but worth every calorie.

12 February 14, 2013

TheMetropolitan

Rants+Raves

“Side Effects” gets lost in its own plot twists Nikki Work nwork@msudenver.edu When a movie’s main marketing tool is a bunch of shirtless pictures of Channing Tatum, it’s probably not going to be a very good fi lm.

That said, there is more to any movie than a nice set of abs, and “Side Effects” has a plot with more twists and turns than Tatum’s six pack, which — spoiler alert — isn’t shown a single time in the movie.

The first scene is set with a slow zoom into an empty apartment.

A model of a sailboat sits on an armchair. Bloody footprints stain the hallway.

The story flashes back to three months earlier. Emily (Rooney Mara) is battling depression, as her husband (Channing Tatum) is released from prison after a four-year sentence for insider trading. After a dramatic suicide attempt, she ends up in the psychiatric care of Jonathan Banks (Jude Law). With

the advice of Emily’s former doctor (Catherine Zeta Jones), Banks prescribes Emily a new-on-the-market antidepressant, that has alarming side effects – and brings us back to the bloody apartment.

To this point, the movie is a poignant analysis of the torrent of overmedication in today’s culture.

From this point, it turns into a convoluted mess that tries too hard to grasp some mix between stylish and cutting-edge, but only ends up teetering on arrogance.

Law shines through the tangled plot with a stellar performance, capturing at times both the persona of the caring doctor and the determined man who will stop at nothing to clear his name.

However, as the plot gets too thick for one character to carry, Law fades from the clear protagonist to a murky middle ground.

Mara’s zombie-like portrayal of the drugged-out Emily is almost believable, with shining moments of raw emotion that she nails.

However, Mara’s character becomes less tragic and more stale

Spoke In Wordz gets groovy Antonio C. Valenzuela Avalen10@msudenver.edu

as the movie goes on.

My biggest problem with “Side Effects” is the marketing. From the trailers, the movie looked like it would be a psychosexual thriller, in the vein of “Black Swan” or “Basic Instinct.”

Rants+Raves Rating System

and for a movie that has banked on 2012’s Sexiest Man Alive to draw in crowds (just look at the movie’s Facebook page), this seems as much an injustice as the side effects themselves.

Image courtesy of Open Road Films

Unknown Mortal Orchestra is a trip Tobias Krause tkrause2@msudenver.edu

The Midnight Groove is a smooth collaboration EP from two of the most lyrical MCs out of the box state. Spoke In Wordz delivers raw grimy hip-hop metaphors, while Myke Charles adds charismatic bravado to the project balancing out the Image courtesy of Spoke In Wordz short release.

The first track, “Raw Shit,” is a robust hip-hop cut with a soulful sample and catchy horned groove. Myke Charles drops hot lines of references to his home state in an original pattern sequence: “It’s so hard not to let the cocky out, when you the illest thing around the Rocky Mountains. I promise to tone it down if you let me in your houses.”

Spoke in Wordz follows up nicely with his verbal assault during the second track, “It’s That Real,” rapping about his passion for the art of rhyming and desire for longevity. With production handled by Boonie Mayfield, the track has an inspirational vibe to it, pulling in the listener with a smooth-sung chorus by Charles.

The shining gem of the short release is the track “Most Definitely.”

Drumming up a hip-hop nostalgia, the song has a flow to it that it is often lacking in mainstream rap music.

The melodic piano intro immediately grabs listeners attention, while the flute-like lead creates a smooth listening experience, dropping into a back and forth chorus between the duo, “We so, so fresh. We so, so clean. While most do less, we do it most definitely.”

Instead of being as sexy and provocative as it seemed, it’s nearly two hours of pharmaceutical jargon.

The true tragedy lies in the lack of topless Tatum. The top-billed actor has very little screen time –

Unknown Mortal Orchestra was never meant to be anything more than an experiment.

In 2010 lead singer/guitarist Ruban Neilson posted an untitled track on his Bandcamp profi le with no information about who had created the track.

At the time, Neilson had no idea what would become of this track.

Bloggers and music fans alike went crazy for the track and soon enough, that little experiment became the alternative psychedelic, indie-rock group known as Unknown Mortal Orchestra.

No longer living behind a mask of anonymity, UMO is known worldwide for their distinctly washed-out vintage sound. The follow up to their 2011 self-titled

album, II is another well-rounded, laid-back album that packs a musical punch. Released Feb. 5 on Jagjaguwar records, the album has a great deal of promise from start to finish.

The band, who now reside in Portland, have provided listeners with a whisper of musical genius that was there and gone before they knew it.

The album’s opening track, “From The Sun,” beautifully unfolds with layers of technical guitar work backed by a heavy bass line with a snappy drum beat that grabs listeners by their ears and takes them on a musical journey to a place not yet traveled.

The alluring, yet subtle, guitar licks on “So Good at Being in Trouble,” the album’s third track, provides a magnificent balance of toned-down to the drowned-out vocal mix from Neilson.

UMO has seemed to develop a more complex and melodic sound

on their follow-up album, but there is still a great deal of musical exploration taking place.

Overall, UMO provides the listener with one hell of a follow-up album.

Embracing their psychedelic trip-hop roots and adding in a pleasant mix of jazz, funk and what seems like improvisation, II progresses from start to finish in an exquisite and divine way.

Image courtesy of Unknown Mortal Orchestra

TheMetropolitan

Rants+Raves

February 14, 2013

13

“Dead Space” is better with friends Daniella Hernandez dherna27@msudenver.edu The Dead Space franchise is back and better than ever.

If the first two “Dead Space” games made you jump too high in your seat, you may like the third installment even better. Although it still has its moments, “Dead Space 3” is more about action and battling your way through the unknown rather than horror and terrifying the player.

Issac Clarke, the series protagonist, returns to fight off necromorphs on the frozen planet of Tau Volantis. Ellie returns to help Issac fight off the hoard of mutated

undead, along with a man named John Carver.

Issac is lucky enough to have some extra help this time around with the all new co-op option. In “Dead Space 3,” you can now play with a buddy and stop those necromorphs dead in their tracks.

I was shocked to find out the game wasn’t as hard as the past two. It was — dare I say — even a bit easier than the others. Regardless of the difficulty, the game kept me on the edge of my seat up until the very last chapter. Thrilling sequence after sequence keeps the rush of protecting yourself and your partner ever present.

Alongside all the good things, come a few flaws. Minor glitches in the game make it just a tad bit

harder to make your way through the chapters, but for the most part the game goes by with little in the way of problems.

Like “Dead Space 2,” the third entry in the series spans two discs on the Xbox 360. The Playstation 3 version is one disc, and the PC version activates via EA’s Origin service, and potentially doesn’t need a disc at all.

“Dead Space 3” left me sitting in my seat flabbergasted. You would think that after two amazing games, Visceral Games would run out of ammo, but they don’t.

“Dead Space 3” will leave you wanting more and craving the ability to replay it all over again when it’s over.

Image courtesy of VentureBeat.com

“Identity Thief” steals laughs, tackles issues Alysa Nance anance2@msudenver.com No one wants to see a dud — thankfully, “Identity Thief” is a comedy romp worth seeing.

The light, fun-loving flick, starring Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman, was well-paced and intelligent.

The movie took the anxieties that many of us face in today’s electronically-driven economy and personified them in a thoughtful, albeit flippant, fi lm.

McCarthy approached playing Diana, a luxury driven, but

Protagonist, Issac Clarke stumbles upon a message written in what looks like blood.

Image courtesy of EA Games

affection-starved criminal, with her usual vim and vigor. Bateman excelled with his ever-skillful portrayal of the straight man opposite McCarthy’s punch lines.

While locals might be annoyed by the fi lm’s parodies of Colorado, overall, it is well put together.

Though it is rated R for language and sexual content, it was less crude than I expected. Most of the comedy was physical rather than sexual in nature.

As a light R fi lm that’s likely appealing to a variety of audience, “Identity Thief” is stealing the show.

Impossibly “Insane City” Barry creates a whirlwind of misfortune Kailyn Lamb klamb6@msudenver.edu

Image courtesy of Dave Barry

“Insane City” by fiction veteran Dave Berry, tells a funny wedding tale, where everything can, and certainly does, go wrong.

“Insane City” was released Jan. 29 and is placed in Miami where groom-to-be Seth is having his wedding.

Seth is a college graduate who is just as unsuccessful with his degree as he was as a student. He lands in Miami two days before his wedding, and in the security line pre-flight, the shenanigans start.

The beginning of the book is quite funny. “The Groom Posse,” Seth and three of his college buddies are going out for the big bachelor party, losing their suitcases, the groom and their clothes all the while.

The book follows Seth and the

groomsmen, as well as, several others from the wedding party through their very unfortunate trip to Miami.

When I was young, I read all 13 books in the “Series of Unfortunate Events.” I followed those pathetic orphans all the way to “The End” hoping something good would happen to them.

When it never did, I was the most disappointed middle-schooler on the planet.

Seth’s journey in “Insane City” was a very similar feeling. I wanted so badly for something to go right for this good-hearted groom.

By page 159, however, after his luggage has been ripped apart by a 5-foot, 250-pound orangutan named Trevor, I gave up entirely.

If you think an orangutan that steals your fiancé’s wedding ring is bad, than you should probably read this book purely out of morbid curiosity.

Not only is there the incident

with the primate, but there’s also a stripper who never performed but demands to be paid, his groom’s party having all their possessions stolen by Russian cocktail waitresses, and the entire wedding party accidentally being served some extremely potent weed brownies.

Seth also saves the lives of three illegal Haitian immigrants that washed up on the shoreline he drunkenly passed out on, not to mention all the things I didn’t get to in my sheer frustration for this poor character.

I may eventually pick up “Insane City” to finish it. I really do want to know what happens to Seth.

But after the frustration of so many highly unlikely things to happen to him all at once, the disappointed middle-schooler in me may just win and not read it again.

14 February 14, 2013 AudioFiles TheMetropolitan

TENNYSON’S TAP PRESENTS EMILIO EMILIO

TUESDAY NIGHTS @ TENNYSON’S TAP

LATIN JAZZ

7–9

MSU DENVER’S OWN

LIVING WILLS

38TH & TENNYSON

ROCK POP

BENEFITING AND highlighting the abilities of mechanically assisted and physically encumbered people.

Seniors & Freshmen!

Amplify your voice Complete the 15-minute NSSE* survey by May 1

$2

will be donated to the MSU Denver Food Bank from the Provost’s Office for each survey completed.

600 +

institutions will participate.

Improve your university experience • Check your MSU Denver email for details • For more information, contact Lou Moss - lmoss@msudenver.edu, 303-556-3457

*NSSE = National Survey of Student Engagement

Department Name

TheMetropolitan February 14, 2013

MetSports

Runners Wrap-up Women’s softball Metro softball won three of five games in the Desert Stinger Tournament in Las Vegas Feb. 8-10.

In a 12-11 win over Western Oregon Feb. 8, sophomore first baseman/ right fielder Chelsea Brew collected five RBI’s on two home runs. Brew’s three-run home run in the bottom of the first inning gave Metro a 3-0 lead.

WOU tied the game and took a 7-3 lead with a five-run third inning.

Back-to-back doubles and singles increased WOU’s lead 9-4 in the top of the fourth. In the bottom of the fourth, Metro junior catcher Kelsey Tillery hit a two-run triple and Brew followed with a two-run homer, making the score 9-8. Four unearned runs in the bottom of the fifth inning gave Metro a 12-10 lead. WOU scored one run in the sixth inning, but failed to tally any more, earning Metro its first win.

In game two, West Texas A&M jumped to a 2-0 lead in the first inning and added runs in the second and third innings to claim a 4-0 lead. Senior second baseman Annalyse Garcia scored Metro’s only run on junior first baseman Stephanie Dunham’s single in the top of the fourth inning.

WTAMU went on to score five runs in the bottom of the fourth inning and Metro lost 9-1 when the 8-run rule was envoked, as Metro was down by eight after five innings.

On Feb. 9, Azusa Pacific State scored two runs in the bottom of the first and four runs in the bottom of the third inning to make the score 6-0. The Roadrunners couldn’t find home plate until the top of the sixth inning when Garcia’s double to left center scored Susie Oury from third and Dani Sandel from second. The Seawolves carried a 6-2 advantage into the bottom of the sixth before tallying another four-run inning, pushing the score to a 10-2 final.

Metro topped Montana StateBillings 17-10 and collected 23 hits in the second game of the Saturday doubleheader. Tillery’s double in the top of the first scored Sandel and Brew followed with an RBI single to left field, putting Metro up 2-0.

MSU-Billings answered with three runs in the bottom of the first. Metro added three runs in the top of the second with a double from Sandel and singles by Tillery and Garcia. After MSU-Billings drew the score to 5-4. A three-run home run, run-scoring error and two-run single by MSU-Billings in the bottom of the fifth made it 13-10.

Oury set a school record for doubles in a game with three.

The Roadrunners finished the tournament Feb. 10 with an 11-2 victory over Central Washington. Senior pitcher Brittany Moss ended the game with three consecutive groundouts and pitched all five innings, giving up two earned runs on eight hits with two strikeouts.

The Runners are 6-4 on the season.

Compiled by Mario Sanelli msanelli@msudenver.edu

15

Roadrunners shatter Orediggers 70-62 Angelita Foster amayer1@msudenver.edu The only damage Colorado School of Mines could do was to Metro’s backboard.

Roadrunners basketball remains undefeated after beating the Orediggers 70-62, Feb. 10 at Auraria Event Center. The game was continued from Feb. 8 when 6-9, 265-pound Oredigger center Trevor Wages dunked the ball and shattered the backboard.

Wages may have received a lot of attention from local and national media, and the video had more than 100,00 views on YouTube, but the delay in the game was just a speed bump on the Roadrunners road to a possible championship this season, as the team goes 21-0 and remains No. 1 nationally and in the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference.

“These guys understand that because some of the losses this week in the league, this was an extremely huge game. All of sudden you are up four games and five left to play in conference,” head coach Derrick Clark said. “We sold them on a sense of urgency of the game.”

Clark said that he was a little upset his team wasn’t able to finish the game.

“When he broke the backboard, we were just starting to get a little momentum. As a coach I was thinking ‘okay, we are about to make a run here’ and you just want an opportunity to finish the game.”

When the game resumed, there was 6:44 left to play in the first half with the Roadrunners up 21-16.

The Roadrunners didn’t seem affected by the weird circumstance from Friday night, as sophomore guard Mitch McCarron started the game with a dunk off an alley-oop from junior guard Brandon Jefferson.

“When the backboard shattered, I was kind of embarrassed to tell you the truth,” Jefferson said.

“We don’t want another player to come in and do that, but we used that tonight to jump out on them, using the first six minutes of the game to get a good half-time lead.”

The Roadrunners continued the first half aggressively on both sides of the ball, going on a 16-7 run and forcing 13 turnovers, while giving the ball up only seven times. The Runners took advantage of seven steals and headed to locker room up 37-23.

“Coach made a big emphasis on coming out of the gate and coming out with fire,” senior guard Demetrius Miller said. “The first half was only six minutes, so he told us to put everything we could in those minutes to get a quick lead to keep the momentum going from last night.”

The Roadrunners continued with pressure in the second half, forcing the Orediggers to give up eight more turnovers, to maintain a double-digit lead for most of the half. The game remained physical, as the Orediggers started to make a comeback. With about seven minutes left to play, the Orediggers went on a 9-2 run from the charity line, cutting the Roadrunner lead to four. Orediggers Nico Mucci was 2-for-2 from the line and Luke

Meisch was 10-for-12. The Runners went on a run of their own, 15-4, with four minutes left in the game.

Jefferson and McCarron led the Roadrunners with 18 points each, while sophomore forward/center Nicholas Kay added 16 points.

Senior forward/center Jonathan Morse fouled out of the game at the 6:03 mark, leaving the game

with seven pounds and six rebounds. Overall, the Roadrunners shot 57 percent from the floor and 7-for-14 from 3-point range.

Wages finished the game in a less dramatic fashion for the Orediggers, fouling out with less than two seconds on the clock, charging Kay, who got in his way, and preventing a final dunk.

Metro sophomore Nicholas Kay takes a charge from Colorado School of Mines’ Trevor Wages, who fouled out on the play trying to dunk with 1.7 seconds left in the game. The Runners beat the Orediggers 70-62 Feb. 10 at Auraria Event Center.

Photo by Cosme Lindstrom-Furutani • clindst1@msudenver.edu

Jefferson hits 1,000 points as Roadrunners roll over CCU 92-75 Michael Montgomery mmontgomery@msudenver.edu Men’s basketball swept the season series against Colorado Christian University 92-75,

Metro junior guard Brandon Jefferson became the 16 th player in school history to hit 1,000 points during a 92-75 win over Colorado Christian University Feb. 9 at Auraria Event Center. Photo by Cosme LindstromFurutani • clindst1@msudenver.edu

Feb. 9 at Auraria Event Center.

The game marked the 1,000th career point for junior guard Brandon Jefferson, who also led the team in scoring with 23 points.

“Obviously, the 1,000 point milestone is a big one, but right now I’m much more focused on our team, and on winning,” Jefferson said.

Senior forward/center Jonathan Morse added 17 points with a game-high 10 rebounds, the 900th of his career, to become the second player in school history to do so.

After an 80-43 blowout win over CCU on Jan. 11, the Cougars may not have seemed much of a threat to the No. 1 Roadrunners, but throughout the first half, CCU kept it close.

After tying the game several times and leading early, CCU didn’t let 20-0 come easy for Metro.

The Cougars’ Michael Brown had a teamleading 21 points and was 3-for-5 from beyond the arc, which led to a 28-28 tie with just 5:27 remaining in the half.

However, that’s when the Roadrunners got

hot, going on a 16-11 run. Jefferson hit a clutch 3-pointer as the buzzer sounded, ending the half with a 47-39 lead.

“Defensive pressure was a huge factor for us throughout the game,” Morse said. “They hit quite a few threes in the first half, and we just had to keep on it, and eventually the pressure wore on them by the second half.”

The Roadrunners used the momentum they gained in the second half, as they never led by less than six points for the rest of the game.

After going on a 15-1 run, the Runners pushed their lead to 16, making it 72-56 with just 8:12 left in the game.

“Good defense converts to good offense. We started to wear them down towards the end of the first, and the pressure carried on into the second,” said head coach Derrick Clark. “Eventually they started missing shots, turnovers got to them, and it allowed us to pull away for the W.”

16 February 14, 2013 MetSports TheMetropolitan

Environmental portrait by Ryan Borthick • rborthic@msudenver.edu

Don’t ‘Hem’ me in Zee Nwuke znwuke@msudenver.edu A new star is heating up the track. Her name is Brianna Hemming and she’s got a bright future.

“She’s a former tri-athlete. She’s competing for the U.S. Olympic Training Center down in Colorado Springs and decided that she wanted a change in her life,” head coach John Supsic said. “She wanted to focus just on running and she called me. The second she called me I knew who she was and I knew the times she had previously run. I was excited to have her.”

The transfer from UC-Colorado Springs didn’t waste any time

raising the bar for herself and her competitors. In her first track meet as a Roadrunner, she broke the school record for the women’s mile at the Air Force Invitational. The previous record holder was Carissa Sinda, with a time of 5:22.30.

Hemming destroyed that time by 15.96 seconds, finishing the mile in 5:06.34.

“I didn’t really know what to expect the first time I stepped on the track,” Hemming said. “I don’t have very much experience on the track. I only ran one season in high school. So I got out on the track and just ran where the race took me.”

She continued her impressive

performance as she helped the Metro State women’s medley relay team run a provisional qualifying time Feb. 9 at Colorado School of Mines. The women’s team- Hemming, Janelle Lincks, Belle Kiper, and Jamilah Rashid- won and broke the school record for the medley relay by 33 seconds, finishing in 12:12.57.

These performances are the result of raw talent and hard work.

Hemming and the team have been working in practice to gain an edge over their competition. So far their work has been paying off.

“We’re working on just getting a lot of our endurance in right now and slowly adding some speed work in,” Hemming said. “It’s also a little bit of an adjustment working out with the team because their workouts are a little bit different.

That was hard for me, but I’m settling in well.”

Transitioning to life at Metro has been smooth for Hemming.

She is currently a sophomore and has settled into her classes. She is having fun while breaking records.

Hemming has a lot more in store for the track this season. Her goal for the season is to make the nationals.

“She’s a competitor and I really feel like the sky is the limit for her. She’s got so much talent and so much ability; we’re just kind of scratching the surface right now,” Supsic said. “Two years from now my expectations would be that we’re winning nationals.”

Baseball splits two in opener Nick Ohlig nohlig@msudenver.edu Metro baseball opened the season with a walk-off home run against Fort Hays State, Feb. 8 at the Auraria Field. This was part of a doubleheader that was rescheduled due to inclement weather.

During game one, Metro sophomore pitcher Patrick Gojan allowed the first hit in the top of the fifth inning. He ended the game with 6.2 innings pitched while allowing three runs, one of which was earned. It was his first start since his arm injury suffered last year. “[I] was just excited to get out there and get the first one out of the way,” Gojan said. “Since the fall I have been pitching, I wasn’t worried about the arm, it felt great.”

After Gojan left the game, Metro’s bullpen struggled to get any Fort Hays batters out. In the top of the seventh, the Tigers scored two runs and went up 4-3.

In the eighth inning, Fort Hays got four more runs and went up 8-3.

The Roadrunners responded with four runs. Sophomore centerfielder Mitch Gibbons had an RBI double as the Runners were down 8-7.

Gibbons would later score on a

dropped pop-up.

The Tigers took an 11-7 lead in the ninth and the Runners responded with four, including an RBI single by Metro senior leftfielder Alex Schrupp that tied the game at 11. After the Tigers scored a run in the tenth, the Roadrunners were down 12-11. Metro senior catcher Markie Ortivez got on base before teammate rightfielder Jeff Levett hit a walk-off home run to give the Runners a 13-12 win.

“Just to get the bat into the next guys hand, that was the main motto of our team, we got a lot of hitters on our team that put the ball into play,” Levett said. “I was just trying to get on first and flip

Two-game home stand Zee Nwuke znwuke@msudenver.edu The Lady Roadrunners basketball went 2-0, Feb. 8 and 9, at the Auraria Event Center, defeating Colorado School of Mines and Colorado Christian. Metro beat Mines 61-50 and the following night, Metro thwarted Colorado Christian 55-45. The Roadrunners are currently on a five-game winning streak as they improved their overall record to 16-6.

“We have high expectations and I think we are getting healthy and we’re starting to get our timing together,” sophomore forward Jennesa Burke said. “We’re starting to get used to playing with each other. I think our expectations are high and of course going undefeated for the rest of the season is our ultimate goal.”

Metro began the Mines game with great defense and made a 5-0 run in the first two minutes.

The Roadrunners forced Mines to switch to a zone defense. After that Mines made a 6-0 run to gain the lead. The score was 5 to 6 with 16 minutes on the clock.

Both teams matched each other point for point to tie the game at 12 halfway through the first half.

“They were making plays. We were making plays,” head coach Tanya Haave said. “A lot of times, with a game like that, you just have to stay in there until someone makes a break. If it didn’t happen in the first half, it’ll happen in the second.”

The Roadrunners got a slight lead, but Mines was resilient. At the end of the first half, the score was tied at 24.

In the second half the Roadrunners were pumped up. Senior guard Brandi Valencia hit a jump shot from the corner and junior guard Cassie Lambrecht got two big steals to score. Metro got a slight lead on Mines. The score was 32-29 with 17 minutes on the clock. Metro raised their intensity on defense and put more pressure on the Orediggers.

Mines managed to tie the game back up at 38. They weren’t ready to give up, but Metro was clearly in control of the game. The Roadrunners spectacular defense kept the Orediggers in check. With 5 minutes left in the game, they regained a 5 point lead.

“We knew Mines would come out,” senior guard Kristin Valencia said. “They never give up and we knew that, so we just had to keep our poise, just relax and keep playing.”

Within the final two minutes the Roadrunners turned up the tempo and ran their lead up to 10 points. They overwhelmed the Orediggers offensively. The final score was 61-50.

“Metro’s a real tough team,” head coach Brittany Simpson said.

“They battled the whole time, so I knew that we had to match their intensity tonight the last few minutes of the game.”

>> Continued on page 17

over the lineup.”

Metro got off to a 4-0 lead in game two, thanks to a three run triple by Metro freshman infielder/ pitcher Andrew Paust. The Roadrunners couldn’t do anything else.

Fort Hays would get a run in the second and two runs in the forth.

In the top of the fifth, Fort Hays blew the game open with a five-run fifth inning, leaving the Tigers up 8-4. In the sixth, Fort Hays would score two more runs, putting the Tigers up at 10-4. Metro couldn’t get anything going in the final three innings and the Runners fell to the Tigers 10-4. Due to darkness, game two ended in seven innings.

Metro senior infielder Jacob Nelso gets helped off the field during a doubleheader against Fort Hays State Feb. 8. Photo by Scott Lentz • slentz@msudenver.edu

Metro junior guard Cassie Lambrecht drives past Colorado School of Mines’ Danielle Skinner in the Roadrunners 61-50 win over the Orediggers Feb. 8 at Auraria Event Center. Photo by Heather Newman • hnewman3!@msudenver.edu

TheMetropolitan MetSports February 14, 2013

>> Continued from page 16 Kristin Valencia led the team with 16 points and 8 rebounds.

Emily Wood had 14 points and 5 assists. Cassie Lambrecht had 9 points, 5 assists and 8 rebounds.

Saturday night, the Roadrunners took on Colorado Christian.

Coming off of the win Friday night against Colorado School of Mines, the Roadrunners walked on to the court with a lot of swagger.

Colorado Christian started the game off in an aggressive zone defense. They tried to trap the Roadrunners in the corners. Metro pressured Colorado Christian in man-to-man defense.

It didn’t take long for the Roadrunners to adjust to the zone defense. With 15:31 on the clock Metro forced Colorado Christian to call a timeout. The score was 6-2. Out of the timeout, the Cougars matched the Roadrunners in intensity. With 8:25 on the clock the score was tied 16-16 after a big steal and layup from junior guard, Kya Degarmo.

Metro went on a few more streaks before the half ended, but Colorado Christian didn’t let Metro’s lead get too big. After a pair of free throws from both teams, the half ended with the score 28-23.

“I think it’s just getting into the flow of the game,” sophomore

forward Jenessa Burke said. “Every game is different. Every team plays different.”

Both teams came out firing in the second half with Metro and Colorado Christian making some tough shots. CCU struck first, but the Roadrunners weren’t ready to give up their lead. After a put back from sophomore forward Jenessa Burke, the Roadrunners built an eight point lead on the Cougars.

The score was 41-33.

“Both teams are very good and it’s the game of basketball,” senior guard Brandi Valencia said. “You have to hit tough shots to win.”

With the clock running down, the Cougars changed to a full court

FREE CLASSES • EQUIPMENT INCLUDED

Healthy Moves

press, but it didn’t hamper the Roadrunners. They broke down the press and found open shots. With four minutes in the game Metro hit some big shots, and put CCU away, ending the game with a ten point lead. The final score was 55-45.

“We’re looking to try and keep getting better every game, keep getting better every practice and hope that it translates to wins,” head coach Tanya Haave said. “I think we’re really showing some mental toughness.”

Jenessa Burke led the team with 14 points. Kristin Valencia had 13 points and 11 rebounds.

Brandi Valencia and Amy Nelson each had 7 rebounds.

Shattered backboard Have you seen the YouTube video of Colorado School of Mines’ Tevor Wages shattering Metro’s backboard with a massive dunk?

Join the nearly 195,000 who have seen it, by going to http:// www.youtube.com/user/ MetroStateAthletics.

TALK TO US

Spring 2013 Schedule

STORY IDEAS

January 22–May 18 • No classes over Spring Break (March 25–29) Please check online for updates: www.msudenver.edu/healthymoves

@HealthCtAuraria

17

HealthCenterAtAuraria

All classes are in PE 103 unless indicated below.

Class participation is free and available on a first-come, first-served basis for the Auraria Campus community.

(Students have priority.)

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Pilates

10–10:55

Yoga for Stress Management

Yoga for Stress Management

Noon–12:55

Pilates

Pilates

1–1:55

Nia

Nia

11–11:55

3:30–4:25

Flow Yoga

Flow Yoga

4:30–5:20

Belly Dancing

Belly Dancing Zumba®

5:15–6:15 5:30–6:30

Friday

Class time: 11–12:10

Zumba®

Class time: 12:15–1:10

CONTESTS

PE 111G

Hatha Yoga

Tivoli 640

Friday classes sponsored by: MSU Denver First Year Success

BELLY DANCING

YOGA NIDRA (DEEP RELAXATION)

Women of the Middle East have enjoyed belly dancing for centuries, celebrating life and the joy of the soul through this expressive art. This fun and exciting dance form is a great aerobic and toning workout, providing the means for improving posture and self-confidence.

Take time out from your busy life to recharge your batteries. Yoga Nidra is a simple, deep relaxation and meditation practice done from lying down. It is a systematic method of releasing accumulated tensions, resulting in profound physical, mental and emotional relaxation. Use this ancient yogic tool to manage stress and improve sleep. The first part of the class will prepare participants for deep relaxation through simple yoga asanas and pranayamas (postures and breathing).

NIA A creative, free-spirited and fun barefoot fitness dancing form, Nia combines principles and concepts from the dancing arts, healing arts and martial arts.

PILATES Pilates is a series of floor exercises that increase strength, coordination and flexibility, while promoting uniform muscle development and enhancing postural alignment.

All of the exercises are linked to a specific breath pattern that deepens core engagement and helps relieve stress.

Pilates believes that all movement stems from the core and can therefore be performed safely.

FLOW YOGA Flow Yoga is an active style of yoga linking poses together with rhythmic breathing. Generally more physically challenging than Hatha Yoga, Flow Yoga calms the mind and tones the body.

HATHA YOGA Postures play a primary role in Hatha Yoga, as do specific breathing techniques and meditation practices. All are intended to calm the mind and uplift the spirit, and nourish the mind and body on every level.

DISCOUNTS

Yoga Nidra

Zumba®

Hatha Yoga

Yoga for Relaxation

YOGA FOR STRESS MANAGEMENT This class is designed for all ages and all levels of fitness with a systematic and safe approach to yoga. Students learn simple yet poweful yogic tools for stress management at the physical, mental and emotional levels, and build abilities to cope with stress.

ZUMBA® Zumba® combines dance and fitness exercises with international dance rhythms such as African, salsa, meringue, cumbia, and reggaeton. These awe-inspiring movements are meant to engage and captivate for life. Every class feels like a party!

Sponsored by Health Center at Auraria & Campus Recreation at Auraria For more information, contact Health Center at Auraria Plaza 150 • 303-556-2525

Be a part of your campus news outlets. Suggest a story idea, sound off on previous issues, comment on campus events, or sell your old records in the Classifieds. Thatʼs why weʼre here!

MetroStudentMedia.com @MetroStudentMedia @MetStudentMedia @MetroStudentMedia Tivoli 313 303-556-2507 studentmedia@msudenver.edu

18 February 14, 2013 MetroSpective TheMetropolitan

StudyBreak

Sudoku

Horoscope

Capricorn

December 22 -January 19 Love is in the air. Too bad it’s toxic and leads to brain damage and choking.

Aquarius

January 20 -February 18

Difficulty: EASY

While at a romantic steak dinner with your new love interest, your waiter will end up being your ex.

You should probably go to a new restaurant if you don’t want a bunch of spit in your food.

Pisces

February 19 -March 20 Cupid will pay you a visit this week. Unfortunately, he will accidently bring his regular arrows.

Instead of falling in love, you’ll spend Valentine’s Day in the hospital with an arrow in your knee.

Aries

March 21 -April 19

Difficulty: HARD

With the warmer weather you and your friends will decide to hit up the park to play some basketball.

Too bad for everyone, you will break the backboard after an epic dunk. The worst part is no one will have gotten a picture of it.

By Kayla Whitney • kwhitne2@msudenver.edu

Taurus

Virgo

April 20 -May 20 Standing outside your crush’s window with a boom box blasting cheesy love songs may work in Hawthorne Heights’ song “Niki FM” and in the movie “Say Anything,” but you’ll probably end up in the back of a cop car if you try it. Especially since your crush doesn’t know you exist.

August 23 -September 22 On your way to school, you will step in a pile of poop. Th is will be the shittiest part of your day.

Libra

Gemini

September 23 -October 22

May 21 -June 20 You will actually have a good Valentine’s Day.

On Valentine’s Day you will receive a bunch of Valentines, but they will all be from your mother.

Scorpio

Cancer

October 23 -November 21

June 21 -July 22

Your love for shiny objects will end tragically after a piece of aluminum in the middle of the highway reflects in the sunlight and you forget your parent’s advice to always look both ways before crossing the street.

While at a church dinner, spaghetti will be served.

But you will be kicked out after throwing spaghetti at everyone while screaming, “Beware of the flying spaghetti monster!”

Sagittarius

Leo

November 22 -December 21

July 23 -August 22 Chocolate covered cherries are extremely tasty, but going through six boxes of them by yourself in one night is not healthy or natural.

While cleaning your room, you will fi nd a textbook you bought for a class at the beginning of the semester. You can leave it where you found it — you won’t be using it for the rest of the semester anyways.

Brain Teasers

Comic created by Jorge Perez-Garcia • jperezga@msudenver.edu

.20 2.14-2

This k e e W

Metro Events 2.14 Love is a Drag Tivoli Multicultural Lounge @ 2 p.m.

A drag show helping to raise funds for the Trevor Project Last issue’s answers (top to bottom) Backdoor, Excellency, Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other, Tall Order, Top Hat

2.15 Junior Recital: Lyat Michaelis King Center @ 7:30 p.m.

2.18 Rachel B. Noel Visiting Professor Dr. Freeman Hrabowski Tivoli 320s @ 12:30 p.m.

2.19-3.20 Amanche Japanese Internment Camp exhibit Opening day event in the Auraria Library @ 2 p.m.

2.20 Visiting Artist Series Bill Klingelhoffer and Alexander George King Center Recital Hall @ 7:30 p.m.

Free for MSU Denver students with a student ID. General admission: $10 Seniors: $8 Non-MSU Denver students: $5

Events Around Denver 2.14 Coheed and Cambria w/ Between the Buried and Me and Russian Circles The Ogden Theatre @ 8 p.m.

(16+) Tickets $35 2.15 John Dies at the End SIE Film Center. Show @ 10 p.m.

Tickets $5-$7 2.16-2.17 Love & Laughter Valentines Comedy Show Voodoo Comedy Playhouse @ 7 p.m.

Tickets $10

2.21 Morissey The Buell Theater@ 8 p.m.

Tickets $39.60-$75

TheMetropolitan February 14, 2013

ClassifiedAds Classified Info Phone: 303-556-2507 Fax: 303-556-3421 Location: Tivoli 313 Advertising via Email: studentmedia@msudenver.edu Website: www.metrostudentmedia.com Classified ads are 15¢ per word for students currently enrolled at MSU Denver. To receive this rate, a current MSU Denver student ID must be shown at time of placement. For all others, the cost is 30¢ per word.

Cash, check, VISA and MasterCard are accepted. Classified ads may be placed via fax, email or in person. The deadline for placing all classified ads is 3 p.m.

Thursday for the following week. For more information about other advertising opportunities, call 303-556-2507.

COLLEGE NIGHT $1 Drafts! $1 Games! $1 Shoes!

Wednesdays at 8pm ELITCH LANES

3825 Tennyson • (303) 447-1633

FREE CLASSIFIED AD

All MSU Denver campus organizations are eligible for one free classified ad (with option to upgrade to display classified for $10) and one

free radio acknowledgment per year. Contact Student Media, see above or email studentmedia@msudenver.edu, for more information.

19

303.477.1950 RegencyStudentHousing.com NOW LEASING - Fall 2013! New Apartments

Apply Today!

LEASE BY APRIL 1st. FOR A CHANCE TO WIN $1,000!

Villas Amenities 3 Bed/3 Bath Apts.

Fully Furnished Full Kitchen Free Utilities Included Private Washer/Dryer Full Service Dining Hall Swimming Pool

Free On-site Parking Free Shuttle to Auraria Bowling Alley Basketball Courts Fitness Center Computer Lab Secured Access

3900 Elati Street, Denver Colorado 80216