2012-02 v13-n10

Vol.13 #10 THE

RIDER’S MAG

Feb. ‘12

The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

FREE What’s Shakin

Friday the 13th Joke Page Supoershow 2012

Feature Bike

We Support the Troops!!!

The rider’s guide to the Southern Ontario area www.theridersmag.com THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 2

WELCOME TO

THE

RIDER’S MAG

www.hipscycle.ca

900 Colborne St. East Brantford, Ontario

519-756-6218 Store Hours Mon-Fri 10am - 6pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

Welcome to the Rider's Mag. The indoor shows are off to a full swing so far and there are lots more to come. They are in all different areas this year so check out the ads and whats shakin for further info.

Ride/drive safe and see you at the shows...

TABLEOFCONTENTS On a Mission for the Mission

4

Since 1988

WE DO IT ALL! M.O.T. INSPECTION STATION

(Tim rides for the Windsor Mission) On the Road

6

PARTS AVAILABLE FROM ALL SUPPLIERS

(The publisher grinds his axe) Cruising with Critter

8

(Critter covers the 2012 Supershow) What’s Shakin

ALL LICENSED MECHANICS

14

(Your Guide to up and Coming Events) Joke Page

MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET

(Time to Bust a Gut) Flamed Road King

20

(Our feature bike of the month) Bikers Church

23

(Pastor Dave and motorcycles) Ride the United Way

24

Tangled Web

26

(Ken McDonald catches up) th

27 28

(A Ladies Perspective) Forever Free

Alvinston Community Center Complex Located at junction of Nauvoo Rd (Hwy #79) at Morrell St. Sarnia 402

London

Hwy 79

Hwy 80

Toronto 401

ton

For More Information Contact: 01 4 Ken MacDonald sor 519-845-0239 d Win ontariochildridingbelt@yahoo.ca 3787 Confederation Line RR#1 Wyoming, ON N0N 1T0 ins

(A short visit to dover) Danni’s Times

Sunday March 4th, 2012 10 am - 3 pm Exit 44

(A good ride on a beautiful day)

Friday the 13

Alvinston

15

30

(Tim does a write up on George’s Hearse)

Alv

GENERAL ADMISSION $5 Children under 12 free with parent 10 X 10 Spaces $40, Table Spaces $25 Set up time 8am - 10am

Food and Refreshments available through arena confectionary

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 3

On a Mission for the Mission The day just couldn’t have gone any better.

The skies were nothing but blue and the temperature on the warm side and not too scorching hot. It was a picture perfect day for a Poker-Run type ride in support of Windsor’s United Church Downtown Mission that has been labeled “On a Mission for the Mission”.

This event originated a few years back and the shining idea came from George Whinney who is the owner/operator for Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services. Witnessing the increased demand at the Downtown Mission during the recent economic downturn that hit Windsor particularly hard, George found his way to do something to “give back” to his community.

Windsor’s Downtown Mission is a non-profit organization that provides hot meals and temporary shelter as well as numerous support programs to those who are on the streets and down-on-their-luck. They receive no

government funding what so ever and rely primarily on donations to keep the operation up and running. If they do experience an operational funding shortfall it is picked up by the United Church who is truly committed to the Mission cause.

Well over 100 bikes showed up at the Downtown Mission bright and early to partake in this event. We were greeted by Mission staff including the always pleasant Winston, Troy and a slew of volunteers who took on kitchen duties for the early morning festivities. A hot was offered complete with sausage, eggs, homeWHY TAKE YOUR LAST RIDE IN A CADILLAC breakfast fries and toast and all for a 3 dollar donation to the cause.

Honorable mentions are extended to a former coworker of WHEN YOU CAN GO ON A HARLEY ? mine Kenny St. Amand for his valor donation to the event.

Ken went over and above in raising an extra 700 dollars before the event and went out and loaded the back of his pickup truck with $700 in breakfast cereal and forwarded it to the Mission cause. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for Ken as he is truly committed to helping out anyone any way he can.

The pack of over 100 bikes left the Mission at 10:00 am sharp and making his way all the way from London was Steve and he made it just in time to jump in the pack. Steve doesn’t FOREVER FREE MOTORCYCLE HEARSE SERVICES hesitate to partake in any event anywhere in Southern and he does it on his Iron Head Sportster. You will Web : www.foreverfree.biz E-mail foreverfree@live.ca Ontario never see him on anything but a Sporty.

Phone / Fax 519 915 6424 The first leg of the expedition had us heading to Mr. Bigg’s in Belle River and we had a Police escort for this section of the run. Taking over the blocking duties once we were out of the city was the guy’s from the Lone Wolf Clubhouse and they actually did a great job keeping the group together for the rest of the day.

My riding partner was Ron who is originally from Kinston but now working in Windsor and he was not exactly having the best week of his Continued on page 13

THE RIDER’S MAG

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On The Road Well another month goes by and coming into this year I knew that the first th 4 months were going to be a blur with 2 Friday the 13 ’s, 6 indoor bike shows and 4 magazine production weekends. We had some hopeful signs and some definite disappointments but we soldier on to get the work done yet again on time every time, without the need to waste time discussing things over coffee.

We are on the verge of setting up for the all new World of Motorcycles Expo Hamilton show at the Careport Center in the west end. Aberdeen and Longwood, easy access from the 403 just west of Main street.

Fortunately we get a one week break to enjoy the Superbowl and the parties that go along with it and being a huge football fan I am definitely looking forward.

Then we hit the World of Motorcycles Expo London show which is the original of their 3 shows and well established and in a beauty buildingth across the street from the original venue. Once we get our 13 anniversary issue out at the end of February we are straight into big Al's motorcycle swap meet in Dundas which is always the last weekend of February.

Then the insanity starts with nd3 bike shows in 4 weekends to finish up the month of march, with the 2 year for the World of Motorcycles Expo, Kitchener show the second weekend of March followed by the Spring Motorcycle show which has moved from its traditional mid April date forward into march and expanding into halls 3 and 3A which were usually used by the car auction but the change of dates frees up that space.

The last weekend of March which includes April fool's day is the date for the National Motorcycle Show at the C.N.E. in Toronto and this year they have added a tattoo show to the event which should change things up a little. When we getnd to this point ifth it wasn't for the Fort Erie Motorcycle Swap Meet, the 2 Friday the 13 , Easter, and a southwestern Ontario feature shoot trip we might catch a break and get a chance to slow down a

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On The Road bit.

So having said that we are hitting the road again this spring on our usual mission to get our feature shoots done for the rest of this year, we have started with tentative contacts for a couple of shoots Oshawa way but we need more ladies bikes and also a few vintage and shovels.

So guys who are owners of vintage (panhead or older) and shovels send us in a picture of your ride and ladies as long as it’s a Harley send it on in. it puzzles me why I need to explain after 14 years but just so you can’t say you didn’t know, guys, you have to have a lady pose on your bike, ladies dress any way you want but generally these features are about the bike, rider, and riding experiences so dress the way you ride if you please, guys we are looking for hot lookin babes in skimpy outfits on your rides.

Got a letter in from a friend and reader who’s coolin his heels in club fed for a little while and he found out something that he felt was important to all of our readers out there, heres what he had to say: Warning - Port Dover Fri. 13th paraphernalia could lead to confiscation or arrest for having gang related material.

As one smart politician said the more power given to a group (he was referring to the police dept.) the greater abuse of that power will be used. I read this in a newspaper article.

I was convicted of a federal offence and was sent to Frontenac Institution.

The inmates are allowed a thirty day window to have some personal effects sent in. My list included a baseball cap. Since my wife and I have ridden together for many years she sent a Port Dover Fri. 13th cap. When called into admission and discharge to receive my personal effects the correctional officer held out the cap. As I reached for it he pulled it back and said "I think this is gang related". I laughed thinking he was joking. He held it out again and as I reached for it again it was withdrawn and he made the same comment, "Gang related". I informed him that Port Dover Fri. the 13th was not controlled by any club or gang; it is a Canadian motorcycle

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www.tonsofbikegear.com event with participation from everybody including police and correctional officers. The officer kept my cap and also took two Fri. the 13th hats from a gentlemen who has no connections to any club. It has been around six months and the caps are still being held as gang related. I'm not sure which gang or club; I guess all of them. I know there are a lot of people that would be offended if they were told that wearing anything Fri. the 13th would be supporting a club or gang.

As the politician said give them power it will be abused. I wish I could remember his name I would vote for him.

Andre I’ll bet there's a million things that I will wish I would have written here but time is short and this is a small issue owing to dwindling advertising support theoretically due to the piss poor economy here in Ontario, stop by and visit us at any of the upcoming events on the calendar I look forward to seeing you out there, on the road.

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Page 7

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) It’s been a strange winter to say the least with temperatures up and down like a toilet seat and not much snow.

Hell, I’m good with the no snow and won’t object one bit if I move my snow blower from its present spot in the garage where it sits ready, willing and able to clear whatever should be thrown our way, back to the shed unused come spring.

On a sad note I joined with a really large group of friends and family to say our heartfelt goodbyes, mourn the death and celebrate the life of yet another friend recently as Laurie Mitchell lost her fight with cancer. She was a great friend and she will be missed by many.

I have been busy and about to get a whole lot busier now that the Show season is upon us.

I missed Port Dover this past Friday 13th as I had tons of stuff to get done and couldn’t spare the time and JR and Sr. said they had it covered.

I know I will get flack (And already have by email and such.) but sometimes

you just have to do what you have to do.

I have decided to tone back my Riders Nights at Big Daddy’s in Newmarket for a while. The Jam Nights that Laura Lee and The Tequila Rockingbirds do so well each and every Thursday will continue but I’ll wait for warmer weather to get the Bike Night segment going again.

Thanks to all who have come out to support it and thanks as well to the owners and staff of Big Daddy’s. See you again in the Spring. Right now I have a whole lot to deal with and need to clear some of the distractions.

I’ve got Petoonia in at Bronson’s for her usual winter maintenance and tweaking of certain things that need tweaking and un-tweaking of some other things that didn’t work out that well.

Also I have my Trike (Still unnamed, as I’ve been asked by many as to what I’m going to call it. I hadn’t planned on it at all really, as names and nicknames just sort of happen and so far nothing has sprung to mind, so for now she is just known as) project. I can remember one time when I was just known as Rick (But sometimes went by “Asshole� or other endearing names depending on how bad I’d pissed Godzilla off.) but we’ll see.

We’ve had to hold several important planning sessions at an undisclosed and a top- secret location lately to really make sure that we develop a real authentic plan and to ensure that this project doesn’t fail due to lack of input and thought.

We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really assemble a team of experts rather we would go with whoever showed up with some beer and interest. <RUN 5G 1LDJDUD RQ WKH /DNH 21 Fortunately Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m blessed with a multitude of very knowledgeable and talented friends who know ZZZ FODUHVKDUOH\GDYLGVRQ FRP more than just the way to and from the beer store.

So our unplanned, unpartisan, ad hock committee is expanding rapidly and we now have a consulting group with probably three thousand years of knowledge and experience on the job and although not a wrench as yet to be turned, we have been having a ball, the final plan is being developed and the local Beer Store is hiring more staff.

What we did accomplish from one of our randomly but fruitful unscheduled, open planning sessions was to zero in on what I need to use as the base for the project and while I had originally thought that we should be looking for a mid to late eighties rubber mounted Decker frame that would be bolted onto the revolutionary rear end from Josh, when my brothers Neil and CB showed up and added their input and expertise to the job and it was determined that what I really should be looking for is a 93 to 95 Decker (Ideally a 95) and the operative word to describe it and our budget; cheap.

The motor doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to run a Shovelhead and neither does the tranny because I will be using an alternative there but there are so many parts that will be essential and what I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need for the project I can sell or use for Petoonia.

CB pointed out that I had always wanted to get a whole set of body parts anyhow and this would be /LPLWHG 6SDFHV 5693 OLVD#FODUHVF\FOH FRP the perfect opportunity to do so and it made perfect sense. &DOO IRU GHWDLOV â&#x20AC;&#x153;Move to adjourn planning meeting!â&#x20AC;?

2IIHU HQGV )HE â&#x20AC;&#x153;Seconded!â&#x20AC;?

CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

:HGQHVGD\ )HE S P S P

THE RIDERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MAG

Page 8

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) “Bar is open!”

“It was never closed!”

“Alrighty then, another 50 please” You got to love it when a planning session produces more than just a hangover and more additions to the ever-growing pile of empties (part of our project funding).

I’ve been up to the 400 Market recently to work out details for this year’s Critter Country Show and Shine schedule.

It appears that I will be running 3 of them; one in late spring another on the last Sunday in Aug. and another near the end of September or early October.

These will be bigger with more space and better than I’ve ever done before with more space, more vendors, more bands and more to do plus I want to include space for a swap-meet quotient in all of these events, with affordable prices where you can either rid yourself of those extra parts or continue the search for those elusive pieces to complete your projects..

The interest and the support that I’ve received for these events has been nothing short of phenomenal and it’s opened up a whole new World for me at a time in my life where I thought I was running out of options.

No one is more surprised than I! UNFKNBLVABLE!( Shirts that say just that of all sizes and styles available at Black Gold and affiliated authorized stores near you.)

I have my family and my many friends who offered encouragement and support and you people to thank.

It has been a great ride!

See you out there.

Supershow 2012

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 10

This has always been one of my favourite events and I was looking forward to it, but this year it was going to be a whole lot different for me as Friday I was to be on my own for the biggest part of the day.

My friend and mentor, Sr. who has been my partner at these shows and other events such as every Friday th 13 in Port Dover for many years now, has been going through a rough patch lately with health issues and today would see him visiting various doctors who have been enlisted and charged with the job of bring him back to “fit as a fiddle” and “ready for action” status.

I was very fortunate to have enlisted the service of my twelve year old Grandson “Nick” (No longer Nicky!) to assist me in the booth as he was off school.

So I picked Nick up at his home early Friday morning and we made our way down to Malton and after a hearty breakfast at the Airport grill (Which has become the traditional preshow stop for Senior and myself) we made it to the Show in time to find our booth finish setting it up and still take a quick tour of the Show before the doors opened and we would get too busy.

Friday never really developed into a huge crowd, at least in Hall five although it did have busy times but CON’T ON PAGE 12

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) never over-whelming.

Nick was a great helper and great company and provided almost nonstop chatter which is like music to my ears.

He was polite and enthusiastic and an absolute pleasure to be with and it gave me a great sense of pride to be able to introduce him as my grandson.

The day literally flew by and by the time JR arrived to relieve us we were still having a ball.

But I still had to get him dinner and get

298 Colborne St.

him home.

We decided we would head back to Newmarket and I’d buy dinner at Big Daddy’s Restaurant, as the quality there is consistently great and I wasn’t in the mood for and Nick didn’t deserve anything less

than great.

It was now that Nick announced that he’d be interested in coming back the next day as well.

I was delighted as we were light on volunteers this time around and I relish the time we get to spend together and quickly and graciously accepted his offer.

My cell phone rang and Allan (Who has helped me with all my show and shines.) called to say that he was in for the day as well.

I now had a crew!

JR had said that Senior was talking about

coming as well so we had a really full crew after-all.

Saturday morning I was up showered and getting things ready early and made my way over to pick CON’T ON PAGE 22

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 12

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MONTHLY EVENTS JAN 27th-29th World of Motorcycle Expo at the Careport Centre in Hamilton admission is $15 for more info please call (519)319-5339 JAN 28th World of Motorcycle Charity Ball not a black tie event contests prizes food and more 9pm-1am at the Careport Centre 270 Longwood Drive in Hamilton for more info please call (519)878-9829

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FEB 10th-12th World of Motorcycle Expo the Western Fair Agriplex in London admission is $15 for more info please call (519)319-5339 FEB 15th Clare's Harley Davidson of Niagara at 590 York Rd. Niagara On The Lake is having Tech Night 6:30pm-8:30 pm limited spaces please rsvp to lisa@clarescycle.com FEB 26th Big Al's Annual Swap Meet at the Dundas Community Center 10 Market St. South Dundas 10am-3pm for more info please call(905)746-7077 CONTINUED ON PAGE 17 MAR 4th Avinston Motorcycle Swap Meet 10am-3pm at the

JOKE PAGE Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch..Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.....In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her

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The Rider’s Mag P.O. Box 80034 Appleby Station Burlington, Ont. L7L 6B1 Phone: (905) 631-5890 Toll Free 1-877-631-5890 Fax: (905) 333-0213 Email: theridersmag@gmail.com Website: www.theridersmag.com Webmaster: Cyberbiker Publisher: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor in Chief : J.B. Ballantine X-Computer Geek : Robert Edgington Eastern Ontario/Western Quebec Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 G.T.A. North Rep: Rick Davis 905-853-1163 Southwestern Ontario: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631

a cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?' The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde.. The Store Hours: word is big. She'll read it Mon. - Fri. : 10:00 - 6:00 very slowly... 'com-forSaturday: 10:00 - 3:00 da-bul.'

Closed: Sunday Fundamental truths are easy to recognize because they are verified daily through simple observation and thus, require no testing.

The best line I ever heard was when this young Muslim kid was being reprimanded for the last time before being fired. Predictably, the Muslim youth said to the shop foreman, "You're firing me because I'm Muslim!" The boss said. "No, we had to hire you because you were Muslim.

We're firing you because you’re fucking useless!”

For Advertising Information or Rate Card Please Contact The Publisher, Editor or Sales Reps Contributing Writers : Pastor Dave Neals, Tim Armstrong, Rick Davis, Ken MacDonald, Danni.

Contributing Cartoonist: Critter Contributing Babysitters: Grandma Vickie, Grandma MacRae, Grandma Ballantine, Glady Printed By : Canweb Printing Inc. Grimsby, Ontario Printed in Canada The contents of this magazine are copyrighted and remain the property of “The Rider’s Mag”

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 15

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said, "I want to die after the Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!" "You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

An elderly man on a Moped, 90 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?" The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the doctor. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... but I'll stick with my Moped!" Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 150

A Scotsman walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.' The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?' The Scotsman explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'

The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.' The woman giggles and replies 'Well it must be broken b e c a u s e I a m w e a r i n g panties!' The Scotsman smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Bloody thing's an h o u r f a s t ! ' I met a fairy today that granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!" "Fine" I

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Page 16

mph..

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer ! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed

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289-808-9190 that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 200 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... Is there anything continued on page 37

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SHAKIN Alvinston Community Centre Complex at the junction of Nauvoo Rd (Hwy #79) at Morrell St. for more info please call (519)845-0239 MAR 10th-11th World of Motorcycle Expo at Bingemans in Kitchener admission is $15 for more info please call (519)3195339 MAR 17th-18th International Spring Motorcycle Supershow International Centre Toronto Sat 10am-9pm Sun 10am5pm MAR 31st-APR 1st 31st Annual National Motorcycle and Tattoo Show at the Better Living Centre Exhibition Place Toronto for more info please call (705)778-2275 APR 21st Hamilton Biker's Church Swap Meet and Information Day 2799 Barton Street East (between Lake Ave and greys Rd.) 10am-3pm admission $5 all proceeds Send a Kid to Camp fund for more info please call pastor Ken (905)547-8580 APR 28th Welland County Motorcycle Club is having their Annual Poki-Barbi-Dan MAY 6th Fort Erie Swap meet for more info please call (905)651-5233 Sam's Montrose at 8675 Montrose Rd. Niagara Falls is hosting Niagara HOG Poker Run for more info please call (905)374-4544 JUNE 24th Bobcaygeon Community 2nd Annual Bikefest music camping show and shine and much more starts at 9am-4pm for more info please

call (705)738-2202 1-800-318-6173 AUG 4th Sam's Montrose at 8675 Montrose Rd. Niagara Falls is having their

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On a Mission for the Mission life. Just days earlier he lost his most loyal companion his dog after being hit by a cage and the issues just piled up following that experience and none for the better. A day of just getting out and feeling the breeze seemed just what he needed.

From Mr. Bigg’s we then headed to the 2nd stop being the Leamington Dock Restaurant before mounting up again and we took a scenic route to the popular Colchester Bar and Grill where the ice cold refreshments where welcoming and the hospitality is second to none. Leaving the Colchester I teamed up with Jimmy and his 56 Panhead that isn’t a machine that he just looks at and admires. He rides it daily and doesn’t hesitate to ride it on lengthily trips. Today he developed a bit of a miss that turned out to be just a bit of dirt in the carburetor but didn’t want to see him left on the side of the road waiting for assistance. It was me who ran out of gas and Jimmy got a chuckle out of that one. Luckily for me my reserve capacity was just enough to have me limp to McGregor, the nearest gas station and they only carry regular gas. Not a good choice for a high compression motor but it did allow me to ping and sputter my way to the Tecumseh Roadhouse on County Road 42 just outside Windsor for the day’s carousing.

Mark from the Tecumseh Roadhouse also stepped up big-time in not only offering his banquet hall and staff for the “On a Mission for the Mission” festivities but he also donated the wicked buffet meal we got to devour.

Actually I was pleasantly surprised at the preparation and menu choices and how good the food was. If you haven’t done so yet you may want to consider checking out the Tecumseh Roadhouse, they got a good thing going on there!

Numerous sponsors for the event brought door-prizes galore and many went home with added proceeds.

I’ve never had any luck what so ever

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competing for the big prize in poker-runs but always have a great time. To date after all these decades I believe my best hand was a pair of 8’s. So, it was no surprise to see that my Jack high hand wasn’t even considered for worst-hand honors. But it was a lot of fun!

Both the 50/50 winner and the winner of the Poker-Run were victims of having their generosity getting the best of them and both donated their proceeds back to the cause without a second thought.

Contributing further to the events bottom line included personal donations by the Essex County Rider’s Association with $1,100, Kathey $100, Murray and Susan $100, Underground Camera $200, Windsor Electric Eel $100, Foolery’s Sports Bar $150, Bardgett Denture Clinic $200 and the lovely Julie from the Colchester Bar and Grill donated $200, On a personal note I have to extend thanks to Liz. Way to go girl…you rock.

George would like to thank Frenchie and the Essex County Rider’s who have made the Downtown Mission their charity of choice this year. Also, the Tecumseh Roadhouse for coming up big, the Lone Wolf Clubhouse who have the art of blocking traffic down to a science and all who assisted in making the event successful and that includes all who participated.

Collectively the event generated well over $6,500 for a praiseworthy cause.

The big winners of the “On a Mission for the Mission” Poker-Run are the individuals who rely on the services offered by the United Church Downtown Mission. Winston, Troy and the entire staff at the Downtown Mission should be applauded for their commitment to a needy community.

Hats off Folks!

In Windsor Tim

Flaming Road King

This month's feature guy is Leo, and he is a retired for a few years now from the plant in Windsor. He is well known amongst his friends as a painter, saying it took nearly 6 years from the time he purchased this bike till he finally got around to getting the paint job on it that he wanted.

He says he bought this 2001 Road King brand new at Robinsons in Wheatley and he bought it as it was a basic black with what he described as an ugly yellow and orange pinstripe. He says he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind the stripes , because as a painter his plan was to repaint the bike shortly after purchase.

Of course it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite work out that way for him, we all know about the body man who drives around in his car done up in patches and primer cause he never quite seems to have time to get his own car done and painted.

Likewise Leo had good intentions of getting his bike painted but says each year he took in a bunch of work at the end of the riding season and always planned to get to work on his bike that year but each year as he finished up the work he had taken on the previous fall spring was approaching and he was fairly adamant that he takes the summer off and goes to the cottage and spends his time riding so there was no way the bike was in pieces in the summer.

As time went by he did get around to upgrading his engine to a stage four with bored out barrels ported and polished heads, hi lift cams and new lifters and

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rods increasing his horsepower considerably saying when the bike went onto the dyno it had 103 ft/lbs of tourque and 97 horsepower at the rear wheel. He messed around with a variety of pipes over time and settled on Rinehart true duals saying he liked the look and sound and the only way he was gonna get his rear wheel horsepower over the magic 100 number was to go to a two into one pipe and he wasn't that fond of the look or the sound.

He also picked up the FLH style faring from the junk table at Robinsons when he had the bike in for a service picking up the mangled piece for $2 off the table and taking it home and putting a few hours of fibreglass work into it

Flaming Road King the Reinhart pipes and also a matched rear fender. Of course this required repainting and Leo said that he took some clear wrapping paper and traced the existing flames from the original bags to make a stencil which made it much easier to apply the flames to the new lowered bags with the same look as the original bags, using the original lids from the factory bags.

Leo says that as for future projects for the bike the only other change that he figures he would make to this bike is to kick the rake out another 7’ from stock and replace the original 16” wheel with a 21” and of course a new fender, other than that he said that he was very happy with the bike and its look and power but surprisingly he did say that he wouldn’t have any problem parting with the bike if the right $ came along saying that he is really interested in getting his hands on an older screamin eagle road glide but that he was in no hurry and it wasn't a mission or anything.

In his lifetime he has purchased 13 new motorcycles saying the last four have been Harley-Davidsons but his first new Harley was a 1982 Sturgis, a 1990 Heritage and a 1996 Road King. In his younger days he was in the pit crew for the Yamaha Canada racing team and he was able to pick up whatever new Yamaha bike he wanted for cost back in those days and he says that he is truly amazed that he survived some of the crotch rockets he rode. he got it back into shape, saying it had been on a bike that was not only dumped but also flipped over so it was torn up on both corners and Leo says it was a lot of work and it may have been better off in the garbage but he fixed it up and you’d never know.

He also replaced the lights up front saying he updated the headlight, spotlights and signals moving to the newer style halogen bulb as well as chroming the front end and the wheels. Leo was starting to get anxious to get on with his paint job saying after putting off the paint job for all those years he decided that it was time to get the paint on his bike done, he turned down a couple of paint jobs at that time and he stripped the tin off his bike and got to work.

He put the paint onto his composite front fender, salvaged faring, factory gas tank and rear bags and fender. Black base clear and flames in a candy apple orange over a silver base, followed up with a little silver base over the tips of the flames and a little black shadowed over the flames. It’s a sharp looking paint job but I knew that as a painter that from the time he started the paint job till he finished that there were some changes to the plan.

Leo laughed and said yes, he thought that he changed up the plan about 4 times from when he started the paint job in the fall till he was finally finished up in the spring. It was one hot looking paint job but despite all his talents as a painter and even going so far as to take a course on air brushing he says that he can’t air brush worth a shit and he defers all his air brush work to local painter Dan who actually has the same surname as Leo but they are no relation.

We first saw the bike at the bike show at the Windsor expo center in November of 2009 where his wife asked how to go about getting her husband's bike onto the list and into the mag, we are certainly grateful to have the bike and his wife on it.

Although we did the shoot in April of 2010 Leo had already made changes to the bike from the show the previous fall.

He had picked up a set of extended bottom saddlebags that wrap around

When I asked how he switched over he said that is was an easy choice since most of his pals and co-workers were moving to Harleys so the transfer was easy for him. Almost matter of factly he said oh yeah I have been to bike week in Daytona every year since 1972 when I asked him about long rides and attending events. He says they just happened to be down Florida way back in the 70’s without their bikes but were so impressed that they decided to return with their bikes the following year.

It has become an annual event for Leo although he did say that after 9-11 some minor altercation somehow surfaced and he was blocked from crossing the border for about 4 years until he finally got it straightened out going from record searches through the federal archives. The local police department and finally his sister in law who was a clerk at the provincial court was able to find someone who knew where to locate obscure records and he was finally able to return to his property in Florida for bike week.

Leo has done his fair share of riding over the years and since this shoot was done a few years back maybe he has updated the front end on his road king by now or maybe he sold it and has been working on a road glide, I am sure we will run into him on one of our upcoming rides down to the Windsor area. specs located on page 26

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Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) up Nick and then met Allan at Big Daddy’s where he left his car and we all piled into the Black Bitch and after a hearty breakfast we were at the show and ready for action.

We had time to wander a bit and allow Nick and Allan time to do some shopping and me time to scope out our advertisers and touch base and get pictures of them and their booths.

I had the list that JR had sent me to make sure I didn’t omit someone and leave myself open to another beating at the hands of the tyrant that runs the Mag when he chose to show up late in the day when he was rested.

So armed with my trusty Nikon, utilizing the really great Dragon cane that Gord from Black Gold had given me for Christmas and with Allan and Nick serving as scouts we ventured out into the halls that lay beyond our home base of Hall 5 to complete our mission and return by the start of the Show as JR fully expected us to still hand out as many Mags as we could so that he could languish in the beer garden until it was time for him to make it home in time for the football game.

I had the list and we would check them off as we encountered them. Black Gold was an easy find as he always has the same spot for all these shows and had expanded some this year as well and took additional booths.

Jake with his amazing Boot Hill Hearse, Stoney Creek Choppers and Terez Leathers I got before we had left Hall 5 so we were off to a great start and one by one we checked them off the list; Hips Cycle, AM Sales, Martin’s Custom Motorcycles, Gamma Sales, On The Fringe Leathers, G.R.I.P Girls and Talisman Leather all there and having

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a great show by the looks of the crowds around their booths.

I got to talk to Tina from Purple slice for a while and told her that I loved her product.

We were quite a team and we did it in great time as well and the cane was a definite asset on the concrete floors.

We didn’t get much time to talk as we did want to get back to the booth and everybody was busy trying to ready themselves for what promised to be a very busy and exhausting day, as well, it is hard for me to go far without running into someone to talk to as well so having the extra sets of eyes was extremely helpful.

We got back to the booth and my crew proved themselves to be a great asset there as well and took full charge of the distribution of the Mags with great exuberance as well and made short work of the pile under the table, leaving me free to wander about and cover the show.

The day was a blast and the time flew by.

There was so much to see and so much to do!

There were young pretty models everywhere.

The carpet frogs came on and absolutely thrilled the huge crowd that milled through hall 5 taking in all of the dazzling works of art and engineering that Bar and company had assembled for them.

There were so many friends to meet, stories to tell, hands to shake and people to hug.

Jeff Burgess even showed up and left a much appreciated gift for me at the CON’T ON PAGE 32

Biker Church I am sure as you walked the Bike Show you seen bikes of all varieties and colors, some with large motors, some comforts on others that may or may not be missing on your ride, accessories – some you wish you had and others you have already. You could say they are a lot like life in general. All our lives are different. Your life is different than mine, it might be easier or might be tougher. Or perhaps more accurately it might be perceived as being easier or tougher. I don’t know all there is to know about your life, I don’t know what you’ve suffered, the abuse you’ve had to endure or the poverty and illness that you have experienced, but I can almost guarantee you that there are other people in this world that have it worse then you, they might even be in this very room. And maybe you haven’t had it rough, maybe you think you are pretty privileged today. And maybe you are, but there are a lot of people out there who have had it easier then you. And there are people who have had an incredibly horrible life and have risen above it and other’s who were born into a life of privilege and have squandered it away. That my friends is life and while we may not all have a motorcycle today or even want one, We all have a life. And life is made up of choices and decisions that are made. Every once in awhile I’ll be talking to someone and they will tell me how lucky I am to have a motorcycle and how they wished they did. And for the most part most of them could probably have a bike like mine or nicer if they really wanted it. And luck would have very little to do with it. But that’s neither here nor there. And as different as all our motorcycles are today they all have something in common, we get on them at the beginning of our journey and we get off at the end and in between it is all a matter of balance. And here is a truth, we come into this world head first and go out feet first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.

How’s about a week before our first cheque came in, while we were still convinced at 16 years of age that I could live on love and Kraft dinner. I was lucky I was working at first real job earning the outrageous sum of $60.00 per week. I rode a old Shovel that I believe I spent every earned dollar in. A great riding piece of junk, left me on the side of the road many times. I can remember coming home one night at 10:30 it was a different story, It was cold, and there were more bugs then I’ve ever seen, half way home I had to stop at a farm house that had it’s lights on to wash the bugs off my helmet visor and clean my face, my butt was sore from the skinny little hard seat on a rigid frame and it was no fun at all, none at all, not even in the further recesses of my imagination. And when I finally got home that night I had had about all the motorcycling that I wanted for awhile.And the reality is that life is like that, it is supposed to be fun but sometimes it isn’t. There are times when life is hard, it’s cold out, your butt is sore and the visor on your helmet is covered in bugs. And that is life. We don’t always place first, we don’t always have a job we love and we don’t always marvel at the beauty of the day. Sometimes It’s Scary. I enjoy riding my motorcycle, but there are times that it scares me, I go into a corner a little too fast. I hit a crack in the road and my front wheel goes . . . or it starts to rain and the road is a little greasy. And not only is it no fun it is downright scary. My pulse goes up, my heart changes places and for a brief moment I contemplate my own mortality. And while I’m not afraid of death the pain that might go with it coming off a motorcycle concerns me a little bit.

What scares me on a motorcycle is the same thing that scared me when I was flying or riding horses and the same thing that scares me in life and that is not being in control. When you are scared in life, take a step back and ask yourself what it is that scaring you. It will be one of two things, it will be something over which you have some control and you need to work on it or it’s something over which you have no control whatsoever and at that point you need to give it

to God and pray for the best. The promise then is for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. All the motorcycle courses doesn’t guarantee that you will never have an accident or never lay your bike down, sometimes people do dumb things even when they know better and there is nothing you can do about other people out there but it sure makes the odds better for you if you know what you are doing. Sometimes I hear people say “You can be a Christian and not go to church.” Ok, maybe. Although you shouldn’t forget what it says in Hebrews 10:25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. And nowhere in the Bible is there evidence or support for a solitary religion. Instead we are told the church did this, or the church did that. We are told that we need one another and we are told to support one another and the one another implies that there is more than simply you. Believers are compared to individual parts of the body never as a complete body on their own. So we get together to worship God and to praise him, but we can do those things alone, the main reason we get together is to learn. We learn how to get started in our faith, things that we need to begin to do like reading our bible and praying. Things that we need to stop doing. We learn what to do and what not to do and we learn how to maintain our balance. And that is critical both on a motorcycle and in our Christian walk. When I meet people who do church by themselves the thing that usually jumps out is a lack of balance. They lean one way or another and a lot of times it is a misinterpretation of a particular text. So I’d say be generous in life but also be generous in death.

So where you at today? daveneals@bikerschurch.com

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Ride the United Way CRIMINAL RECORD? Is a criminal record limiting your career or travel opportunities?

YOU NEED A PARDON.

PARDON ME

Confidential. Reasonable.

Please Call Denise @ (905) 866-4272 Ride the United way has been around for a while, when I checked the records they advertised the event with us in 2007 and 2008. I know that both of these events were plagued by bad weather and in both instances I was out of the country and had sent contributing writers. I also know that a champion of the event and member of R.D.M.C. Steve Park died suddenly and very young of a heart attack in early 2009.

upon.

It was with this background that I showed up for this event, understandably (at least to myself) with a chip on my shoulder and a negative attitude about just about everything you could think of from finding the starting location for the event, registration, and even more incredulous that they expected us to follow a bunch of arrows printed on 8â&#x20AC;? X 11â&#x20AC;? sheets of paper stapled onto hydro poles on the side of the road.

They also provided several pages of turn by turn directions which for the individual rider who was just out for a nice ride was absolutely useless. I busted everyone's chops at the start of this place explaining to them who I was and that they had paid for advertising but that they needed to understand that some of the things they were doing was not encouraging our riders from supporting their event. It started to early, they wanted pledge sheets filled out, just to name a few.

So I set out on my own on what turned out to be a fantastic day for a ride and almost instantly got lost missing one of these rather small sheets of paper indicating a turn in the route, this did nothing to improve my attitude as I pulled over to the side of Barton street in Stoney Creek to retrieve the turn by turn directions to see where I had erred. One of the primary problems I had was that I knew the area rather well having ridden it for decades but knowing the names of certain roads, forget about it, that was a lost cause.

authenticltd@rogers.com / www.authenticltd.com It wasn't until this past year that I received an email from someone on the committee for the event saying that they wanted to advertise the event.

When the details and tentative artwork arrived and pricing was agreed upon a request for final artwork was submitted. As it turned out there was issues with the final artwork not matching up to the preliminary, a number of inaccuracies were apparent.

Unfortunately the gentleman I had been dealing with was on vacation and of course at this point we were days away from going to press. As always in an effort to get the correct information out to our readership I took it upon myself to make the necessary corrections and ensure the ad and events calendar accurately reflected the preliminary artwork that was approved and agreed

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I did get back on track and tried hard to pay more attention to the signs although on several occasions I had to double back flying past the signs making it unsafe to do a brake stand turn although I did successfully pull a beauty off on ridge road where the total extent of the travel was from one side of a bridge to the other where the road I was following jogged so when I turned onto ridge I goosed the throttle in frustration and shifted through the first three gears as I noticed an immediate turn. I think the guys mooching around on the bridge were totally impressed that I was able to get the bike sliding sideways with the back brake and making that turn on hard pack at about 60 km/hr.

As I continued my ride, feeling rather proud of that last turn and that I was pickin g up on the signs (I later under stood that this route h a d been used

Ride the United Way for a number of years so there were some riders who were familiar with the route) I noticed a lone motorcycle behind me on the last few turns before hitting the first stop which was in the parking lot of a municipal building. I pulled out my paperwork and a cigar and drew my card. The other rider had caught up and asked if she could join me on the ride saying that all her riding buddies had backed out on her on this day.

I asked if she had ever been on this ride and told her I would be like the blind leading the blind since I had never ridden this particular ride and was having some issues finding the route markers. This gal rode with me for the rest of the ride and with the weather getting even better than earlier and the ride heading out into the Caledonia, Brantford area I was very confident as this was an area I knew really well and when I scanned the turn by turns finding the outline of the route became quite easy.

Just when I was getting comfortable with a “winglady” she vanished, an enormous wave of guilt swept over me. There had been a couple of rather interesting turns out around Painter Road and McBay road, you know more of those brake stand kind of turns and all I could envision was this poor girl wiped out in a ditch somewhere because I was busy cruising along with my tunes at a million decibels making some really exciting last minute turns as I picked up those aforementioned route markers.

So pretty much in the middle of nowhere (somewhere between Onandaga, and Jerseyville) I pulled over at a corner through the side stand out on the road glide and looked across the fields back towards the roads I had just travelled looking for my “winglady” shortly thereafter I heard a bike coming and she caught up with me. Panicked I said geez I thought I had inadvertently dumped you in a ditch on one of those wicked turns I made.

She laughed, I needed gas and I honked and waved but I knew you weren't hearing nuthin with them crazy tunes of yours goin so loud, oops guess I should pay more attention and watch my mirrors.

I was just way too much enjoying the ride on this fantastic day, after a few more near misses on the route markers we made it to Boston Pizza for the lunch stop. For a guy my size one slice of pepperoni pizza and a bottle of water was a pretty thin lunch. I got lucky and since we were near the end of the riders I got a second slice. To get to this spot we had taken a rather circuitous route for what should take maybe 25 minutes to ride took well over an hour with the twists and turns.

The next stop was in Burlington and another area I was uberfamiliar with having lived in the area for over 40 years, when I looked the route over what should have taken 15 minutes had us riding as far north as the 401 and zigging and zagging back and forth taking an hour or better, again a few near misses and one outright miss requiring a u turn in a church parking lot and we were back on track. Having said that I was uberfamiliar with the area I gotta tell ya these folks dug up some roads that I had never seen before, beautiful scenery and challenging twists, turns, blind corners, and steep up and downhills.

I could see why the reports on previous events were like they were, there was no way you could

do this ride in crappy weather, this route should be challenging for an experienced rider and even in the perfect weather that we had on this day I w o u l d n o t recommend this route for inexperienced riders. I say this only as publisher of this mag I have ridden with more than my fair share and have seen the results of inexperienced riders colliding with experienced riders, but then most of us have.

After a card stop in another parking lot in Burlington we headed back to our starting point in Stoney Creek where they fed us sausage on a bun with a variety of salads. The building belonged to one of the service clubs and they ran the bar which had scant selection of beverages. I am as hardcore on Corona as Critter is on 50 so anywhere that doesn't have my brew is always a disappointment but everyone else seemed to find something to drink I settled for water.

The door prize girls were on site outside where a D.J. kept some background music playing, to their credit there was no waiting around for a draw the tickets had all been drawn for the door prize lots and you simply matched your door prize ticket number with the board and got your prize. (I first experienced this efficient method at the Brothers of the Blade, Throttle Itch Party an eon ago) There was a fair sized gaggle out for the event, maybe a hundred bikes if I was gonna guess or judge from the few pics I took but there was more than enough door prizes and chow for everyone. They gave out some prizes for them aforementioned pledge sheets and they also gave out awards for the poker hands. I was given two sheets for the poker hands the winner of best hand was Cole S. with 3 Aces and the worst hand with a 10 high was Rick P. I have done a lot of riding in my life, put a lot of miles on and ridin in more than my fair share of poker runs, and I have to say despite my busting of everyone's chops at the start of this piece this was one enjoyable ride. It has the advantage of being a go at your own speed, you don’t need to ride with the pack ala the Eagles Nest Miles for Smiles and the former “Ride for the Little guys” of course those kind aren't for everyone but it's just my opinion

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Tangled Web

By Ken MacDonald

Flaming Road King Owner: Leo L. City: Belle River, ON General Year & Make: 2001 Model: Road King Assembly by: H-D Value: Too Much Engine Year: 2001 Model: Twin Cam Builder: H-D Rebuilder: Wayne Meyers Displacement: 95 C.I. Lower end: H-D Pistons: J & E Rods: H-D Flywheels: H-D Balancing: H-D Cylinders: R & R Cycle Cases: H-D Heads: R & R Cycle Valves: R & R Cycle Cam: R & R Cycle Lifters: Fueling Ignition: R & R Cycle Coils/Wires: Screamin Eagle Carb: CV Dyno Jet Air Cleaner: Screamin Eagle Pipes: Rhinehart Transmission Year: 2001 Type: 5 Speed Shifting: foot Clutch: h-d Gears: H-D Primary Drive: H-D Painting Colour: Glasurit Black Base Special Paint: Hot Hues Candy Orange Airbrush: Skulls by Dan Lessard Painter: Owner

Type: FLH Rake: H-D Stretch: None Swing Arm:H-D Glide Pro Rear Suspension: Lowered Accessories Handlebars: Wild Ones Risers: H-D Ignition Switch: H-D Controls: H-D Seat: Mustang Tailight: H-D Oil Tank: H-D Gas Tank: H-D Front Pegs: H-D Boards Rear Pegs: H-D Boards Foot Controls: Chrome Electrics: H-D Grips: Kuryakin Mirrors: Kuryakin Headlight: H-D Bezzeled Speedometer: H-D Primary Cover: Chrome Front End Type: FL Chromed Year: 2001 Builder: H-D Extension: None Wheels Front Size: 16” Type: 9 Spoke Chrome Tire: Dunlop Brake: H-D Fender: Sumax Rear Size: 16” Type: 9 Spoke Chrome Tire: Dunlop Brakes: H-D Fender: Street Glide

Frame Builder: H-D

Model: Jackie

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For those of you who have followed the Tangled web for a few years now that our household has been submitting it to the Riders Mag you will have noticed we have been a bit lapse for a while. From time to time writers block sets in and with JR needing some extra space to get articles in from advertisers it all worked out.

The title Tangled Web was named because the purpose was to untangle the web we weave or has been woven. The internet has provided us with the tools at our fingertips to do our own research and make up our own minds on what seems to be getting forced down our throats by mostly the government and the overzealous police agencies who figure if they can get away with it on bikers no one will notice.

There’s always a smoke show so to speak. A biker gets pulled over because their bandanna covers their face, the police claim it is a disguise. A muslim can wear a burca and nothing will be done based on religion or race. The rights our veteran’s fought for seem to protect the very people they fought against in most cases more than their countrymen.

That being said recently I was made aware of another smoke screen. We remember a few years ago a couple street racing incidents caused what is commonly called the racing law. A very complex law when you untangle the web. 50 km/h over the speed limit is considered racing, even if you are travelling down the road by yourself. Who are you racing? The old adage it takes two to tangle doesn’t seem to be in effect on this law something that has always escaped me.

This law allows for immediate vehicle impoundment and driving license suspension, so much for the whole innocent until proven guilty thing. This wouldn’t bother me if I truly believed every officer was conducting themselves in a truly professional manner. This law leaves way too much to the officer’s discretion. It is amazing how most trades require thousands of hours of on the job experience for an apprenticeship but our police really require very little on the job hours compared to the powers they have instilled on them.

Reg 455 section 8 under the races, contests and stunts reads “Driving a motor vehicle without due care and attention, without reasonable consideration for other persons using the highway or in a manner that may endanger any persons by: “ it goes on to describe several circumstances where you would likely to be passing improperly, blocking traffic etc.

However recently an officer decided the first part of this paragraph was all he needed to threaten a motorcycle driver with being charged with racing because he felt passing on the right fell into the likely to endanger part of the law. I guess the person being a center lane sally heading north on the same 400 hwy. instead of doing the proper Keep Right Except to Pass wasn’t an issue.

According to the teller of this pull over this officer kept quoting the law while referring to his support sticker on his windshield and patch on his vest.

Continually quoting “Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t throw the book at you”. Apparently the biker must have had a good reason or the officer realized just how stupid his actions really were because 45 minutes later no tickets were issued.

Sure makes me feel safer knowing this officer is out there Serving and Protecting me. Yes me the tax payer. Again the smoke screen, show the public you are protecting them, pull over bikers in large road blocks, put on a big show so the public thinks you are looking for criminals. Wonder how long this would happen if you pulled over everyone who looked Italian for suspicion of being with the mob.

This law was put into place on a whim because cops didn’t like the quote “Fast and Furious” type cars a few incidents where someone in power was affected and boom a law was shoved down our throat. A law that would be real hard to lobby out of existence because to many parts of it affect acts that’s are stupid and unsafe. Somewhere along the line we have to have a fine line between the smoke screen being created and nailing a school bus for doing 90km/h in town in a 40km/h zone and calling that racing.

The more we look at our laws, the more we need to untangle the web behind the scenes and figure out a way of not only making them ineffective but also getting them removed from existence. Our rights depend on it!

Friday the 13th, Jan 2012 th

Friday the 13 January 2012 was the first of three Friday the 13th’s this year and I can honestly say that it was the briefest visit I have made to an event on any date in probably 2 decades. There was a couple of reasons for this, first of all the weather was lousy and secondly I had other stuff going on down Windsor way later that evening and with the crappy weather after I heard that the 401 had been closed for several hours that morning for weather related traffic accidents and wanting to avoid the highway in the dark we hit the road by 3pm heading west.

I know there were a few ladies looking for us to get their titty shirts and we missed you, for that I apologize I know the gal who emailed in a picture and turned up at the Supershow was looking for us and another who came to our table at Captain Billy's while we were having lunch wanting to know where to find us were out there as well.

We did say we were gonna tour the hotels and bring some shirts which we did but it was early bands were playing in every hotel so noise levels were high and of course we ran into people we knew at every spot so we stopped for a quick gab while scanning the hotel the bottom line was we just

rumour, seeing Louis inside made getting the answer easy. We had heard the place was finally sold but he said the guy who was too but the place dropped dead of a heart attack so it's still on the block if there's any interested buyers out there.

We double parked and ran into On the Fringe to drop off some mags and we ran straight into January feature bike owner Bill and his wife Melissa. Bill was after more mags saying the bundle we gave him was all given away and he needed more for family and friends. I told him we were fully distributed and he should swipe a dozen from each spot which he eventually did.

When the last mags were dropped at Captain Billy's we ordered up some lunch knowing dinner was still many hours off and we had a long and possibly miserable drive ahead of us. I am particularly aware as I drove the Toronto to Montreal route twice a week for many years in the 90s through some of the worst snow, and ice storms of that decade and resulted in my hatred of driving in general and in weather a night even more so.

While on lunch we were joined by Bill and Melissa and Melissa’s dad who were having cocktails while we ate lunch. Former feature biker Crazy Dave Elder was spotted riding by on his latest Sportster with a helmet cam. Crazy Dave is well known for riding all year around, and about 12 years ago when we featured his bike he did not have a license to drive a car, and therefore rode his bike all year around including bringing home a Christmas tree on the bars of that big ass chopper he had with the girder front end. We did hook up with Dave very shortly before we left town and I noted that he was running an endure style knobby tire on the back to help with the snow, he said it works but I have ridden in snow before and it's not as much fun as you might think.

wanted to get on the road.

On our way up the main drag we stopped back into On the Fringe to Visit with Elaina and her sister Chris who have been the top sellers of Friday the 13th shirts for years and on this particular event the turnout was surprisingly large considering the crappy weather. The store was packed to the rafters, wow unreal how many were in the store and how long the lines were to pay for shirts. This place is well known no doubt and you will see a lot of their designs around judging but the mob in the store.

When we arrived in town we had a few bundles of mags to distribute to some spots in town and our first stop was Clare’s Harley-Davidson of Port Dover on the pier where we stopped in to check out the store and meet Gail the gal in charge, nice spot and very upscale lots of nice Harley themed t’s and of course open seasonally. This was their last day open until the next Friday the 13th inApril.

Outside the shop were 3 Russian Ural 2 wheel drive motorcycles, they are after all built particularly for riding in exactly this type of weather. I’m not sure who’s selling them these days but back in the day the guy that sold them advertised with us and I know our lawyer “Cleanhead Cooper” had purchased one of these rigs saying it was the most fun he had ever had in the winter. These rigs could run through ditches full of snow and up hills etc.

While in the neighbourhood I caught a deep deep deep undercover cop sitting in a small rusty blue pickup taking photos of everyone on the street, the fact that I had parked in a no parking area and had the four ways on didn’t seem to phase him much but I got a look as I gave him the flying finger jumping back into my truck to continue my deliveries. I mean what the hell, they already have thousands of pictures of me anyway and I’ve had the same truck for near 4 years now.

With the rather large crowd on hand it was not surprising that these were the only bikes we saw besides good old Crazy Dave who you expect to see riding in this type of weather. The bars were rockin and although there were definitely no line ups to get into any of the venues there was a respectable crowd in each spot.

We headed up the main drag hitting Angelo's to drop off some mags and get an update on the sale

With any luck we will be able to line up our sponsors for the men's and ladies Friday the 13th shirts for April and July and we will be down there moving some of our men's shirts and getting some titty shots for the guys.

I am really glad we booked when we did as we got through almost all the way to Windsor before it got dark that Friday the 13th and the majority of the vehicles we saw off the road were there from the earlier incidents but we did see a couple of them spin out right in front of us but we were able to stay out of harm's way on the drive and enjoyed our weekend in Windsor although our Saints lost.

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DANNI’S TIMES Durham Divas were along side them and I always enjoy the company of Lisa who was one of the founding members...

Where brave are free and lovers soar Come ride with me to the distant shore What is really nice here is we find a common ground with these ladies groups.. We are not in competition with anyone.. The Riding Community should be about riding, it's too bad riders bring their personal life into their fun sport www.rnrcustomcycle.com of riding....The Ladies groups, all are different Major & Minor Repairs, Rebuilds & Scheduled Service and all meet the different needs of Ladies riding..

Complete Machine Shop Service, Frame Up Build to Order Each club has exciting events.. Check them out Harley Davidson Trained P.H.D. Mechanic Our group, Central Ontario Chrome Divas won 2nd Place with 200.00 in the overall Show...

We appreciate theAward.....

Life is a highway I wanna ride all night long If you want to have fun at a Show ,this was the I have just finished one of the best shows ever, Toronto Motorcycle place to be..We had the privilege of having The Perfect Pigs around us Supershow at The International Center. The weather was just awesome also..This was fun times...Not only are the PP are a great bunch but their with riders riding daily and parking in front of us, where we could see the fun Ladies are also.. The fun was with all...We want to bring them to Montreal to they were having... I would walk out and check out the bikes on our breaks... introduce them to some friends...The gift of being a stellar group is being the sight of chrome just added the right energy. The temperatures were social and this is their gift...we meet everyone’s family including Bob’s pretty good for January.. Sitting on a bench in front of Airport Road with a daughter and grandson...shared food.. The best part was we made hoodie, enjoying life here in Toronto on a January day... I have seen everyone laugh around us...this is not the time to be serious, it’s the time to previous years trudging thru mounds of snow, not this time..Sunshine, enjoy all of our gracious guests in the Hall. We did.. Hoover was amazing.. motorcycles and a weekend of Bikers just made such a great event..

Never knew he spoke french so well..I’m not sure he knew before the show, Life is a Highway written by Tom Cochran but he did know during the Show...Darlene had fun with Hoover...with Life’s like a road that you travel on permission, here...We have an amazing you-tube video out there and if you get a chance to view it, please let me know....

When there’s no day here and the next day gone We count ourselves quite lucky at the amount of visitors who come to our If you’re going my way spot in Hall One, each year...I really appreciate the goodies we received I wanna drive it all night long also.. The homemade cookies were gone in Also a special Hi! To Harrison, who all of us seconds.. The box of chocolates.. It was Ladies admire, this guy not only looks like really nice being spoiled..I also must say, you Kid Rock but is a great supporter of many know Lady Bikers can bake a pretty mean events through out the city... cookie...So it is true we just do everything This is the show where a lot of us plan the well.. rides of the season, and having all together Sometimes you bend and sometimes you in a hall, is a guarantee , you do not miss any. stand It's getting the info out there, is hard... We Sometimes you turn your head to the wind have had riders contact us, and riders come to our booth asking us about upcoming rides This year in Hall One we had the company of and where to get the info.. We collect all other clubs which was really great for us.. material we can and hand out to whoever Along side of us were The Wroar Ride, with but.. There is a solution to this.. Like many many memories of Liz Metcalfe. This lady was Bikers told us....they lose sheets and cards the spirit of this ride, and they have patches in are lost.. In need of info all together.. memory of her, if you would like to check in with them on their web site or at the upcoming This is the magazine to advertise .. Its free to shows...Liz was returning from the ride last all to read, it's got great reading material.. year when she was tragically hit on Highway # Who does not pick up the Riders mag? I had 9..This group was very friendly and supportive one shop drop by and when we were of all in the Hall..Good jokes, too! speaking about a little town where my brother used to live, Alliston, mention There’s a world outside ev’ry darkened door immediately that he would like to have the Where blues won’t haunt you anymore mags there also verifying that is where all the Our next partners were The Motor Maids from riding material is.. That is where the majority Ontario and they have been neighbors for a of Bikers look...for events.. Pages are hung few years now and check out their web site on in the garage. Most probably bathroom their adventures ahead this year...The material.... This is where you connect.. member never tells us her name, but she is a When Bikers come to a booth and ask, there visitor to our booth and we enjoy our needs to rides advertised to get their conversations... continued on page 33

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THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 28

Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services

For decades now, fallen motorcycle riders in European Nations have been honored on their farewell ride utilizing various motorcycle Hearst Services.

Only in the past years have we seen this service available in North America and most recently right here in Southern Ontario.

Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Service is owned and operated by George Winney in Windsor Ontario and they are recognized-by and work-with all reputable funeral homes. Their services are not limited to the Windsor area as they are made available throughout Southern Ontario and beyond.

Why take your last ride in a Cadillac when you can go on a Harley!

George is a compassionate and trustworthy individual. He is a Canadian Military Veteran and now an active member of the North Wall Rider’s Association. Back in the mid 60’s, he served 5 years with the Royal Canadian Air Force studying the mechanic trade before accepting a manufacturing job as a skilled tradesman. Now in retirement from the steady 9 to 5 routine George has found his niche he is truly passionate about.

If you attended any major motorcycle event in Southern Ontario chances are you’ve seen the Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst.

Wherever it’s displayed it draws a huge crowd of the curious. For example, they’ve appeared at last years Canadian Biker Build-Off, To r o n t o ’s International and S p r i n g motorcycle shows, the L o n d o n motorcycle show as well as Kitchener and the last Windsor motorcycle show.

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Page 30

Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services was D&R Industry and is standard equipment utilized on all Hearst. The finish product certainly is a worthy conception.

Last summer Forever Free found itself on a number of major media outlets world-wide. When former NHL tough guy Bob Probert suffered an untimely and unexpected passing due to a hidden heart condition, it was Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst that got the call to provide the farewell ride services.

Although the Motorcycle Hearst will accommodate a full size casket, Forever Free is not limited to offering this service only. Today more than ever families are choosing alternative arrangements over traditional burial preparations. With that said Forever Free is open to accommodate any arrangement that the family may request and regardless of the time of year.

And the smartly detailed rig has been known to take home an award or two.

This particular rig is designed and constructed as a sidecar configuration and will accommodate any full size casket. George’s project began with a rugged HarleyDavidson Police Special and they only had to upgrade the clutch to something a bit more heavy duty to accommodate the anticipated additional load.

Taking on the task of fabricating the framework was Rob Molner who is legendary for his fabrication work on stockcars and such. Dennis Queinville put his expertise to work and produced the brilliant hand-carved hardwood base that is affixed to the framework. Providing the finishing chrome hardware touches for the hardwood base

I was also satisfyingly contented with the cost in effect for this service. It appears there is no financial burden on the family choosing Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services over the traditional Cadillac Hearst services. Also, the cost for Forever Free to travel to an out of town destination is minuscule.

For general information or to make booking arrangements, give George at Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services a call or fax at (519) 915-6424.

Also, be sure to check out George and his wife Val and Forever Free Motorcycle Hearst Services that will be featured on the Dragon’s Den TV show to be aired sometime in September 2011.

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 31

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter)

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booth as I was off on yet another mission but did manage to track him down in the beer garden to talk for a while before I had to leave.

It was great to see Larry and Nancy Pooler out and about as well.

There were many representatives of many different MC’s there and they all had escorts that followed them everywhere.

I had an OCC meeting scheduled for later that afternoon and would have to

leave around 2:00 PM and rather than fight my way back through the parking lot at the end of the meeting would take my crew with me and we would just go home from there, so it wasn’t long after JR and JB appeared that we made our exit, running into Senior as he made his entrance.

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The meeting was very interesting and ran a little long and by the time it wrapped up we were hungry and ready to sit and be quiet and I could use a 50 and with Allan’s car having being left there that morning, it just seemed logical that I’d be buying dinner for three at Big Daddy’s.

Great meal with some great company but it was time to say goodbye to Allan and take Nick home then head to Casa Critter to relate the stories of the day to Godzilla and relax.

Morning found me heading back to the show alone this time as both Nick andAllan had other things to do.

I would be solo in the booth.

I stopped for breakfast and ran into Scary Larry of the Perfect Pigs MC who also wears the hats of Treasurer of the OCC and is also a contributing writer for The Mag along with being a trusted friend and advisor for many years so we had much to talk about in a short period of time while feeding our faces.

Back at the show it was time to get busy and make my rounds with my camera to get pictures of all the fantastic bikes that were on display in Hall five and shoot the shit with as many as possible along the way as well as venture out into the other halls before they opened the Show.

It was a worthwhile trip as one Lisa, of Gord’s crew from Black Gold had her sixteen year old son Matt along and she upon hearing that we were short crew loaned us his services for the day.

So it was that I now had another exuberant and chatty helper who was extremely enthusiastic about helping with the Mag and the things that I do and was very keen on being around when I lined up the models to be photographed with the many fantastic bikes.

He turned out to be a tremendous help as when we got back to the booth we discovered that Nick and Allan had done such a great job the previous day that our supply of Mags was almost non-existent and would not last the day.

I had some more out in the Black Bitch so Matt came alone and helped me carry them back to the booth to at least try to appease some of our readers, but I knew many would be disappointed.

Senior showed up and it was good to see him and he once again took charge of the booth.

JR showed up and we got to talk a bit about future shows and who, was doing what and when between interruptions and it was soon time for me to find a spot from which to cover the awards portion of the Show.

Young Matt meanwhile again proved himself useful in helping JR out with loading up stuff from our booth while I did my job.

The awards done and the pictures taken of winners, I packed up my gear and headed for home.

It was another great show, there was lots to see and a lot to do and I know that I was only able to see and experience a small portion of what was available, but there is always next year!

CON’T ON PAGE 34

DANNI’S TIMES rather nervous attention. disposition named, Through all these cities and all these towns Chicken Schitt. Two of It’s in my blood and it’s all around the other six children, If you are looking at having a successful event with Ontario Riders attending Fulla Schitt and Giva again, it’s your choice, but advertise in here..

Schitt, were Knock me down get back up again inseparable You’re in my blood throughout childhood I did get a word from one of the Charity Rides who right out told me that all and subsequently married The happens the money is going to charity... and what is it you are missing ?

You need the Riders to attend the event. The Riders need to be aware of the Brothers in a dual info, there is a possibility the Event will have more Riders if it;s put out there. ceremony..

Advertising is the first rule of thumb...The Smoke Out is being put on, June T h e w e d d i n g 9th/ 2012. Each season. They advertise each event, and I do the 50/50 there, announcement in the nearly all the participants will state, they check this mag for the date.. This n e w s p a p e r , announced the Event twice yearly is a total success and it helps with the right advertising...

Its your choice, but it should be a good choice, where else to gain the SCHITT-HAPPENS nuptials. The Schittattention of the Bikers ?

Happens children RidersMag... were Dawg, Bryd, and I can lead you to the water, it’s up to you to drink....

Horse..

This is the road and these are the hands Gimme gimme gimme There’s no load I can’t hold gimme, yeah Road so rough this I know Bullshitt, the prodigal Back to being at the Show days on end.. It's fun but every so often there a son, left home to tour biker Jack Schitt who does visit the booths..Now he comes and there’s nothing you can do about it...

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, “ You don’t know, Jack Schitt? Now we have experience and when we are told we don’t know him, well thanks to Bob Deadman, we do...

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate , who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack..

I’ll be there when the light comes in Just tell ‘em we’re survivors In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Mind you at times, we get to meet the whole family....I swear they all visit at one time or another.. I keep this with us and when it is necessary, we hand it out.. Yep, I say, “ I know the whole family.....

Now against her parent’s objections, 45 Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years, Jack and Now Schitt divorced...

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. Noe was then known amsalesmotorcycles.autotrader.ca as Noe Schitt Sherlock..

Meanwhile , Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, they produced a son with a

416.663.3382

the world He recently returned home from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt..

Now when someone says, “ You don’t know Jack Schitt”, you correct them..

You tell them Crock O. Schitt wrote this letter to Danni...

If you’re going my way Again speaking of the Show, but it is really a great time...

I wanna drive it all night long Amisunderstanding once But now we look in the eye...

Well, I’m off to entertain myself during January and will keep you posted...

Next Show, I believe is the Hamilton Show, which is such great news..When Sonny was alive, he used to have a Bike Show there... Wow, that was a long time ago...

Changes are good.....

There ain’t no load that I can’t hold Road so rough this I know I’ll be there when the light comes in...

Special Thanks to all who helped..

Amanda and Mace were just awesome...You Ladies are just great....

Rona and Carol , Thanks for being there for me.. Darlene for traveling from Montreal...Brigette from Davies Harley Davidson Brianna, Laryssa, Sonny,April, Jen and Jim, Karen HAVE FUN SEE YOU IN MARCH DANNI

THE RIDER’S MAG

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Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) I will try again!

SUPERSHOW 2012 Winners List, Level 2 Class Award Winners; Vintage British,Peter Salter - 1950 Vincent Rapide; Vintage Bobbers, Andy Cox 1968 Triumph; Vintage Mini Bike, Ken Wright - 1988 Honda Z50; Vintage Rat Bike, Jeffe Martinez - 1977 Yamaha XS650; Vintage Specials, Joe Carriere - 1979 Yamaha SR500; VintageAsian Phil Hall - 1966 Yamaha YD53; Vintage European, Steve Canellos - 1967 Benelli 350; Vintage Competition - Off Road, Thomas Canellos - 1975 Honda 125; Vintage Competition - Road Racing, George Oiegar - 1955 Parilla 250; Domestic Touring, Eagle Eye Custom Cycles -2008 Harley-Davidson Deluxe; Mild Domestic Touring, Gordon Jack - 2007 Harley-Davidson Road Glide; Asian Touring, Motorcycle Enhancements - 2000 Yamaha Road Star; Asian Touring Combo, Paul Duxbury - 2008 Honda Gold Wing; Domestic Street, David Doma - 2007 Screaming Eagle; Mild Custom, Carlos Salsa - 2009 Harley-Davidson Softtail; Asian Street, Motorcycle Enhancements - 2001 Honda VTX1800 Turbo; Mild Asian Street, Paul Pagani - 2009 Honda VTX Custom; Radical, Motorcycle Enhancements - 2005 Harley-Davidson Custom; Bobber, Mark Gornik 2011 Barn Find; Mini Bike, Jay 'Fatman' Casey - 2009 Yamaha BWS50; Trike, Frankenstein Performance Cycle - 2012 Frankenstein; V-Max, John Dowling - 1998 Yamaha V-Max; Sport Touring, Bruce Peacock - 2004 BMW R1150 RT-P; Sport Bike, "Jerry Deluca - 2012 Custom Build ""Widowmaker"""; Pro Street, Monte Carlos - 1998 Suzuki; Drag Champion Cycle - 2006 Suzuki GSX-R; Competition, Frankenstein Performance Cycle - 2011 BMW S1000; SpecialAwards Host Club Award, Brampton Motorcycle Association; Club Display - 3rd Place "Scarborough HOG -"" Any Direction is Good on a Hog"""; 2nd

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Place, "Chrome Divas - ""Step Aside Boys"""; Best Club Display "Haliburton Trail Riders - ""Corduroy Enduro - Canada's Toughest Race"""; Individual Display - 3rd Place, "Edith Tasse - ""Black Widow"""; 2nd Place, "Fred Vaillancourt - ""Blade"""; Best Individual Display "Christian Rivard - ""Spartacus"""; Best Plating "Christian Rivard - ""Spartacus"""; Best Engraving "Wayne Burgess - ""Nancy"""; Best Bodywork, "Fred Vaillancourt - ""Blade"""; Best Engine, "Concept & Design - ""El Scorpio"""; Best Engineering "Steve Schuller - ""Speeding Billet"""; Best Detail; David Doma - Suzuki GSXR 1300 Hyabusa; Best Paint "Christian Rivard - ""Spartacus"""; Best Artwork, "Christian Rivard - ""Spartacus"""; Best Use of Colour, Steve Zinger - Suzuki Hyabusa; Best Metalwork, "Konstantine - ""Penny Saved"""; Best Induction, "Steve Schuller ""Speeding Billet"""; Best Wheels, "Edith Tasse - ""Black Widow"""; Best Sign, "Edith Tasse - ""Black Widow"""; Best Seat, "Christian Rivard ""Spartacus"""; Best Vintage Bike in Show, Louis Bari - 1901 E.R. Thomas Auto-Bi; Best Level 2 Bike in Show, Carlos Salsa - 2002 Harley-Davidson Softtail LEVEL 3 BUILDERS CLASS Top 10 Finishers ($200); "George - ""Psycho Billy Cadillac"""; "David Doma - ""2008 Suzuki GSXR 1300 Hyabusa"""; Wayne Burgess - ""Nancy"""; "Konstantine - ""Penny Saved"""; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Konstantine - ""Hydra"""; 5th Place ($350)"Mohamed - ""Money Shot"""; 4th Place ($500) " P h i l i p Rochebrune - ""Hell Brutalos"""; 3rd Place ($800) Jim Ellis - 2006 Suzuki Hayabusa 2nd Place ($1500) "Edith Tasse - ""Black Widow"""; 1st Place ($2500) "Mohamed - ""Miss Treated""" LEVEL 4 PRO BUILDERS CLASS Top 10 Finishers ($500); J.H. Customs - Harley Road King; J.H. Customs Harley Road Glide; J.H. Customs - Pro Street Custom; Jerry Kerr - 201

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) Bobber; Philip Roquebrune - 1965 Minotaure; 5th Place ($1000) Concept & Design - El Scorpio; 4th Place ($2000) "Konstantine - ""Love Zombie""" 3rd Place ($3500) "Christian Rivard - ""Spartacus"""; 2nd Place ($7000) "Fred Vaillancourt - ""Blade"""; "1st Place ($12,000)" " S t e v e Schuller - ""Speeding Billett""" "1st Place Level 4 is the Best Bike in Show, winner of the Canada Cup for the finest"showbike in Canada. Congratulations to Steve Schuller of Kon's Garage The Deck â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sept. 2011 The good weather was still holding as I saddled up on Petoonia and we made our way to the west to Orangeville to The Deck to cover the Show and Shine portion of a combined effort with The Knights of Columbus; who were

hosting a Poker run to raise funds for the Kaitlin Bolton Sunshine Fund.

Kaitlin is now sixteen years old. She is afflicted with a disease called MLD is confined to a wheelchair and her only form of communication is blinking her eyes.

I have lost my notes as to who the lucky winner was but the top poker hand prize was $1000.00.

I rolled in to find the Street which is usually lined on both sides from one end to the other with nothing else going on crowded with some cars and more other activity than I would have expected.

The registration booth for the Poker run extended out into the street and there was another restaurant up the street that was setting up with jerk chicken and other great stuff that no longer is suitable for my digestive system but they had an amazing band setting up and it looked like a real Street festival!

I grabbed some Mags and my camera and headed off down the street to The Deck Bar and Grill and made my way inside to find owner, Tim Callahan rushing around trying to make it all happen.

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Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) I was handed a cold 50 right off the bat which always puts things in perspective and settled in with my pal Hank Stevens who like me, likes to get to where you want to be early and we were then joined by Big Bill and we had a little meeting to solve all the World’s problems, if they would only listen.

The place was now getting busy and I knew that I must put saving the World from itself on hold while I did what really matters; getting material for The Riders Mag. So I set out to do just that.

I wandered the busy street taking pictures of the participants of this really great event with the occasional stop just to shake a hand and engage in some chatter.

They had a barbecue going full speed ahead and the patio and streets were filling up with people so there was lots to see and do.

I made my way back to the bar and availed myself of another 50 and was soon joined by a very perplexed Tim who was visibly upset about something.

“They just charged me with having four people too many on my deck!” he exclaimed.

“Who did what?” I asked.

“The LCBO inspector and a plain clothes, Orangeville policeman. They charged me with having too many people on the Deck. How long did it take them to come up with that many people at any particular time?” he asked in amazement.

I should explain that in order to get from the building to the large fenced in patio that takes up the whole front yard you must cross the patio and go down the stairs so to come up with an exact number of people at any given time would have come from patience that would border on a hunter stalking his prey, waiting in the bushes for the perfect moment to strike.

It was a nice day and therefore no one was under the porch for protection from any rain or anything and from what I saw in my time there that day never was the deck area overcrowded.

It was a charity event.

“Tim contends that this LCBO inspector has a personal vendetta with him and his bar and that she is overzealous and too quick to overstep the bounds of the job that she takes far too seriously!”

This is I might add the same LCBO inspector who came down heavy handed on the Legion earlier this year and quite effectively ruined what was a very successful event, the results of which could be long standing.

It leads me to wonder what is motivating her to act in what seems at first glance to be a vindictive and prejudicial manner and pursuing an agenda that does not, in my mind fit within the perimeters of her job.

I am open to correction.

This notwithstanding the day went on and Tim persevered his brush with the authorities and got the job done.

They had an incredible band playing which took people’s minds off the fact that the day was stretching on a little too long and that they should soon be doing the draw and awarding the trophies.

The judging was held up by the aforementioned altercation but he got it done and we moved on to the awards.

It was a good day despite the incidents and I said my goodbyes jumped on Petoonia and headed for home.

Good job Tim. I hope you make out OK with the powers that be.

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Page 36

JOKE PAGE I can do for you ?" The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror

He turned to his wife and said "Hey, there are 6 feet in this bed. There should only be four..what's going on?"

A Drunken Newfie's wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husbands key in the door. "Stay where you are" she said, "He's so drunk he wont even notice you are in bed with me"'

"Nonsense" his wife said. " You're so drunk you mis-counted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see much better from over there."

The husband climbed out of bed and counted "one two three four....Damn it..you're right?"

The current down trend in the USA economy has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a fundamentalist Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

"I don't see how my taking my bike on a 1000 mile highway trip with a freshly rebuilt motor and not even changing oil would have any bearing on the warranty!

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they repossessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw 6 feet sticking out the end of the bed .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

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The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call center in Pakistan . When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to

THE RIDERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MAG

Page 37

JOKE PAGE Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

order, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please." This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away. A man

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coy ote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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THE RIDERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MAG

Page 38

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

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