2012-07 v14-n05

Vol.14 #5 THE

RIDER’S MAG

July ‘12

The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

FREE Red Devils Show & Shine

Critter’s Show & Shine Treating Yourself Expo

What’s Shakin

We Support Feature the Troops Bike It’s Friday the 13th again!!!

Joke Page

The rider’s guide to the Southern Ontario area www.theridersmag.com THE RIDER’S MAG

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WELCOME TO

THE

RIDER’S MAG

www.hipscycle.ca

900 Colborne St. East Brantford, Ontario

519-756-6218 Store Hours Mon-Fri 10am - 6pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

Welcome to The Rider's Mag and all the fun stuff inside. It's summer is there anything better. Get outside go for a ride enjoy the outdoor shows no reason to be stuck inside we have lots of time for that in the winter.

We are getting a little skinny on jokes so...if you have an old one, new one or used one send it in and it will be used.

TABLEOFCONTENTS Fighting for your Rights (Scarry Larry Speaks his mind) On the Road (The publisher grinds his axe) Critter Country Show and Shine (Critter holds his first of the year at the 400) What’s Shakin (Your Guide to up and Coming Events) Joke Page (Time to Bust a Gut) Western Town Smokeout (Critter pulls double duty, in the rain!)

Cruising with Critter (Critter recounts his travels in C.C.) Maltese Cross Softail (Our feature bike of the month) Bikers Church (Pastor Dave and motorcycles) Niagara H.O.G. Poker Run (Rosaire rides with Niagara H.O.G.) Blackhawks M/C Open House (The Blackhawks reveal their history) Treating Yourself Expo (James has fun in the 3rd Annual Event) Something Happening Here (Critter makes his usual noise) Durham Ride For Dad (Critter rides in the Durham event) Orangeville Legion Show & Shine (Critter visits the Legion’s 10th) Ladies and their Harleys (Lady number 3 of 2012) Highway Heros Ride (Don Norris takes an overnight ride) The Deck Pub Show and Shine (Another year of shows at the Deck) Red Devils Show and Shine (A huge turnout on a brutally hot day) Danni’s Times (A Ladies Perspective)

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Fighting For Your Rights With Scary Larry What the fuck is that smell? Why it’s the all familiar stench of another sellout of an important biker event, Ollie! What is even more disturbing is that the organizers (opportunists?) of some biker events are eagerly scraping to the directives of the police services and organizing under those directives. Once the deal is sealed, those same sellouts then become very busy attempting to put an ‘in the interest of public safety’ spin on the reasons for the changes. For four years my club, Perfect Pigs M.C., worked extremely hard promoting a ride to illuminate the sacrifices of our military both past and present. That first ride attracted approximately 120 bikes of which, 80% were clubbers from the Ontario Confederation of Clubs who turned out to support the cause and the efforts of a brother club. The ride journeyed SAFELY from Trenton to Oshawa WITHOUT police escort due to the efforts of my crew and the participating patch holders. The ride was an honest, grassroots demonstration of patriotism that grew over the passing years and culminated in 2011 with an attendance above 3000

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motorcycles, which included many full-patch members of various Ontario MC’s. Why we even began to fantasize a Canadian military motorcycle ride to equal the Thunder Run in the USA, which just celebrated its 25th anniversary. The camaraderie demonstrated during the 2011 HHR and the subsequent rally debunked the BEU propaganda heralding the impending biker war. In fact there was not one single incident of confrontation reported. Is it just my nose or is that red herring long past its best-before date?

PPMC decided to not support the police influenced HHR structure but we did attend the pre-ride at CFB Trenton to deliver a respectable PPMC donation in support of the charities of the HHR. Following that, we departed to join our brother clubs (the players were PPMC, Aces & Eights M.C., & the Coalition Crew M.C. (whose membership boasts both active military and veterans) who joined us in support of our protest against the manipulation by Law Enforcement, and rode the Highway of Heroes as bikers (without escort) on our mission of respect for the vets. Contrary to inaccurate reporting by Belt Drive Betty; our procession never once occupied the left lane. Also, as inaccurately reported (Mmmm, a very troubling and recurring journalistic flaw), it was never our intention to disrupt the HHR merely to protest the bastardization of another biker event by mirroring the roots of the HHR. In my opinion, the HHR was hijacked by LE months before the day of the event! HHR 2012 did not attract any significant participants from the member clubs of the OCC which supported our stand and protested the sellout by their nonattendance. How can anyone who purports to be a devotee of the biker life embrace LE interference when it is a mandate of LE to profile and harass patch holders simple because of their demeanor or affiliations? In my world . . . when a control individual of any biker event, or any active member of the biker community, succumbs to the overtures of LE for personal enrichment is - (IMHO) a cop buff! Next step in this smelly evolution is . . . publically CONTINUED ON PAGE 20

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I usually try to make notes before i start my on the road to recap my adventures while riding around and it has been such a pressure cooker these past few months that despite the best laid plans i always manage to forget something and having been out Brantford and Cambridge way a few times i had wanted to mention that they put a mean lunch on at Cathys Country Kitchen in Peters Corners, and they are having a charity event in june and if things go well they are thinking about doing something more often, stay tuned, but if your in the area at lunch time stop in for some grub you will be glad you did, and they aren;t open for dinner just breakfast and lunch.

I wanted to sent out a thanks to guest journalist James Lloyd from Where heads meet in Hamilton who for two years in a row has covered the Treating Yourself Expo in downtown Toronto, Marco and the good folks at Treat Yourself Magazine have been advertising their expo for two years with us and the reaction has been very positive this year and we are proud to support their endeavour.

I have mentioned that we have been rebuilding my dad Senior bit by bit and despite the backassward health care system in Canada we have managed to scratch another issue of his list and the hernia is now fixed thanks in part to our local family doctor and the Shouldice Hospital in Markham (thats what the signs say on bayview) i actually got to get on my bike and ride a bit coming to visit him during the week while running other errands.

I wanted to take a ride out to the 10 acre truck stop and participate in the highway of heros ride but i learned too late that the ride had changed to C.F.B. Trenton and that early arrival was mandatory which would have required me leaving at an ungodly hour (i don;t do the morning well) to arrive and when i learned that the event had been commandeered by politicos and bureaucrats for face time i suddenly lost interest in them but not the underlying heros or the ride.

I had already committed to riding out and stopping by Martins Custom Cycle in Cobourg to drop him off some extra april mags with his build on the cover, so i was looking forward to a good ride and was not going to be deterred despite the threatening skies i never did get any amount of rain on me and rode all day long.

While on the ride in i was passed by the Perfect Pigs Motorcycle Club who had rode in advance of the actual ride as they had formed up at the original starting site the 10 Acre Truck Stop in Trenton. Scarry Larry had rode in to the air base with a couple of his guys to make his clubs donation and joined up with them and they did their ride as originally planned.

I am not sure what the expectations were for the ride but they did pass me just before i got off the 401 at Cobourg and i estimated the group at maybe 500 bikes, but it was amazing to see how when politicos and the like get involved how available the law enforcement community becomes for escorting the ride. I don;t know much about the event except that i have wanted to participate to show my support for our troops and i believe there are many other like minded readers and riders, so i offer a word of advice to the organizers, turn the event around, start somewhere near the city where riders have a chance to come out and join the ride, and end the ride at the airbase in Trenton or somewhere out that way, you shouldn’t be surprised if the number of bikes grows exponentially, but undoubtedly the people wanting face time in front of television cameras would have less as there would be less press present. (just a guess) I did get to stop in and see Senior that afternoon and see how he was recovering from his surgery and prepare for his exit the following morning. So maybe one more surgery this year and a lot of time with specialists and eye doctors over the next few years to deal with his other eye. But he should be as good as new by the end of this year and ready for another 60,000 or 3 years. CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

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Critter Country, 400 Market Show and Shine – May 2012

By Critter This Show and Shine stuff has just seemed to have taken a life of its own and it just keeps on going and growing and I’m just hanging on for the ride waiting to see what is going to happen next.

It is all a learning experience and with each one I’ve learned something that will hopefully, make the next one better than the last.

One thing that I’ve learned for certain is that nothing would have happened without the generous help, support and encouragement that I’ve received from friends and family.

I was thrilled to have my big Irish brother Mike Murphy back at my side and watching my back for this show.

He was with me planning It’s Kool To Drink Healthy inandtheexecution of RENT A FREEZER FULL OF ICE the 1st two FOR YOUR WEEKEND PARTY events that I did in Newmarket and they and what was to follow would never have gotten off the ground without his assistance, knowledge, support and his keen sense of humour (And the booze didn’t OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK hurt either.).

Mon - Fri 10 to 7 ! Sat - Sun 10 to 5 Now while still

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working past his own personal issues and challenges he was here to help me again and it was great to have him back.

Doing these shows at this venue are so much easier as we have the huge resources and co-operation of the tremendous 400 Market crew right from managers Scott and “Perfect Patty”, Peter, Karen, Vinc e, and the rest of the crew who (Aside from that %$@$%4*# bar that got destroyed that would have worked so well incident.) couldn’t do enough.

We had to relocate to another spot at the Market this time around as we had outgrown the other spots that we had used the last time.

This time we were in the upper parking lot which for me worked a lot better for a number of reasons.

We had our own driveway in right off the main road and could better control access and parking.

Vendors had more space and better flow.

It is totally and easily expandable to fit whatever our needs demanded.

It was a better spot with a couple of exceptions.

We did not have the outside Beer Garden that I’d hoped for.

Fred from DJ’s Diner was to have looked after the permit and other things associated with it, but due to personal reasons beyond his control was not able to pull it off and I didn’t have sufficient time to make alternate arrangements.

It just meant that CON’T ON PG 10

Critter Country, 400 Market Show and Shine – May 2012

By Critter you would have to go inside the Market to get a beer and use the washrooms.

So we are putting Bar along on the top of our list for the next one in Aug. followed by servers (I have a crew of experienced girls waiting to be called into action.) also Porta potties as well as shaded areas for the picnic tables in front of the stage.

Like I said it is a learning experience.

And now it comes back to getting by with a lot of help from my friends.

My pal Dusty once again gave me a hand loading the stage that he constructed last Aug. for that show.

It comes apart and is reassembled in sections and it worked really well under the overhang of the building at last August’s event, but this year being in a different location, we would not have any covering to protect the band and equipment from the elements so we put our heads together (OK, he came up with a solution.) and found a temporary solution that would work well enough for this time around that was economical and would require minimal alterations.

We ran it up one afternoon assembled it and were one step closer to being ready.

His lovely lady Jaye who has also been so incredibly helpful with all of my stuff stepped up once again with support in other areas and took huge amounts of pressure off.

My friend Stew loaned me a generator through his brother in law, and my friend and colleague Gord (From Black Gold) as, while there was power up where we were setting up we were concerned that the demands of the band and sound system might overwhelm the circuit and wanting to be prepared with too much power rather than too little, we took the generator.

It was coming together well and we were pretty certain that we had covered all the bases to ensure a good event.

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Then Mother Nature threatened to show her ugly side.

The forecasts weren’t especially encouraging to say the least especially when you are planning an outdoor motorcycle event.

All the weather networks (And I was checking all of them just hoping to have one that I could tell people and myself that there was a glimmer of hope) warned of thunderstorms and worse that were to be spread far and wide.

They might as well had one of those bars that run across the bottom of the screen with big letters that said “Critter you are sooooooooooooooo fucked!

I continued to think happy thoughts and refused to let them get to me.

Lousy weather people, if you can’t say anything nice, just shut the fuck up! Tom Brown you’re still an idiot!

Bronson swore he would have Petoonia ready in time for the Show and true to his word I got the call and with days to spare with the assistance of Big Murph brought her home with a quick stop at Murph’s to wash her and turn her blue walls to a gleaming white (We took pictures because the likelihood of them ever being CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

WHAT’S SHAKIN WEEKLY EVENTS

SIXTH ANNUAL MOTORCYCLE

EVERY MONDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast and pound and pint night (905)679-3778

SHOW & SHINE

Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Poker Night (905)898-0001

Royal Cdn. Legion #134 140 King St. Mount Forest, ON

EVERY TUESDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has Karaoke (905)679-3778 Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has Jazz Band from 1-5pm (905)547-8989 Albion Hotel at 1Main St Bayfield 11:30am-midnight food and refreshment specials (519)565-2641

JUDGING 2PM, AWARDS 2:30PM

Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Dart Night (905)898-0001

All Makes & Models Welcome

Loretto Tavern 7994 County Rd 1 and Hwy 50 is having their Bike Night (905)729-2215

Bike Night at Foolery's Sports Bar and Grill at 2300 Huron Church Road in Windsor (519)966-7888

Clare's Harley Davidson at 590 York Rd. N.O.T.L. is having their Lucky 13 Cruise Night (905)684-4647 China King 1320 Colborne St. East in Brantford has Bike Night (519)752-6389 Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Rider's Night (905)898-0001 EVERY FRIDAY Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast (905)679-3778 The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has live entertainment at 9pm (905)529-0271

Beer Tent

INFO 519-323-1570

Frankie's Bar & Grill in Mount Hope is has ALL DAY breakfast and mixed pool league for more info please call (905)679-3778

EVERY THURSDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has their ALL DAY breakfast (905)679-3778

Bar-B-Que * 50/50 Draw Rough Camping Available

EVERY WEDNESDAY Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has cheap drinks (905)547-8989

Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Karaoke Night (905)898-0001

JULY 21 - 11 AM START REGISTRATION FREE

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Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Live Bands (905)898-0001 CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

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JOKE PAGE Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jone's wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water Store Hours: and sank. A few days Mon. - Fri. : 10:00 - 6:00 later, a kindly old lady Saturday: 10:00 - 3:00 Closed: Sunday met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible".

Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from th e start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish.

Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that

hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked.

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Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle".

Before he could finish the old lady fainted!

A guy is walking the strip in Las Vegas and a fantastic-looking Vegas hooker catches his eye.

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?"

The Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."

The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's restaurant on the corner?"

"Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."

So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he has just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"

The hooker replies, "$1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"

The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so and says, "Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.

He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"

The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?"

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"

No," the hooker replies, "but I would... if I had a pussy" Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job

JOKE PAGE opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes”.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

Bar & Grill

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the

R

F

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.

San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."

R

ANKIE ’S

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."

United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"

Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

CONTINUED ON PAGE 26

A N I E’ K

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"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot who wasn't so particular."

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Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

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Here are some conversations airline passengers normally will never hear.

The following are accounts of exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.

Pilot: "Albuquerque Center, this is United 372. I have an engine that just went out and I need to land. No panic, but I need a runway that's close to my present location."

Tower: "United 372, this is Albuquerque Center. You are cleared to land at [Name of town I have never heard of] Airport immediately."

Pilot: (Who had obviously never heard of town either) "Hey, I'm not talking some crop duster airport here, Albuquerque Center."

Tower: "United 372, that runway is 6,700 feet long. Is THAT going to be enough for you, or do you want me to send someone up to help you land?"

2965 Homestead Drive - Mount Hope

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WHAT’S SHAKIN EVERY SATURDAY Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has cheap drinks (905)547-8989

Biker TV is on at 11am on CTV TWO

Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast and Karaoke (905)679-3778

Niagara Motorcycle Raceway is having Balls To The Walls Motorcycle Racing starting at 7pm 603 Netherby Road Welland (905)734-7058

The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has live entertainment Matinees 3pm-7pm (905)529-0271

Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Ladies Night (905)898-0001

Trucker Television is on at 11:30am on CTV TWO

Live Entertainment every Friday and Saturday

The

EVERY SUNDAY Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast (905)679-3778 Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has Free Pool and cheap drinks (905)547-8989 Denny's Restaurant (South Keys) 2208 Bank St. Ottawa 6pm - 9pm Sponsored By Denny's & The Celtic Brotherhood Show & Shine - Prizes - Games Phone: Beau (613) 295 4444 Biker TV is on at 11am on CTV TWO Trucker Television is on at 11:30am on CTV TWO Big Daddy's 446 Davis Drive in Newmarket is having Free Pool (905)898-0001 MONTHLY EVENTS JUNE 21st Cathy's Country Kitchen at Pete's Corners 1305 Hwy #5 West RR #1 Dundas is having a Charity Bike Night for a family in need 5pm-9pm for more info please call (905)628-7820

Galley Pump Tavern

JUNE 22nd-23rd The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Spencer Creek playing (905)529-0271 JUNE 23rd Art, Mover, Bondo Memorial Field Day 460 Highway #7 ADULTS ONLY camping available food prizes and more $25 per person $30 per Traditional Couple

365 Wentworth Street North hamilton, ontario 905-529-0271

The Pink Ribbon Charity Ride in support of Breast Cancer Support Services Inc. at Club 54 3345 Harvester Rd. Burlington registration 9am sponsored by Motorcycle Enhancements for more info please call (905)634-2333

BEST BEEF IN HAMILTON

JUNE 24th Bobcaygeon Community 2nd Annual Bikefest music camping show and shine and much more CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 14

Critter Country, 400 Market Show and Shine – May 2012

By Critter that clean and white again are slim.)And we polished the rest of her as well.

“Looking good Petoonia! It’s good to have you home.” I told her as I put her on her sidestand in her special spot in the garage and passed my hand, gently and lovingly along her tank and gave her a playful pat on her well padded seat.

But some things just aren’t meant to happen and my beloved “Petoonia” would not be able to come to the Show and Shine.

The original plan was for myself and Very-Grandson Nick to ride up and his mother (Godzookie) would drive Godzilla and all the stuff up in the Black Bitch.

I had the Black Bitch loaded with trophies, canopies, tables, tarps, chairs and everything else that I needed for the event and that had to go or even might be needed (special note, * tables*, because I was to have this bar that would work sooooooo perfectly!).

Now my little girl was having issues and would not be able to come and ‘Zilla won’t drive my truck.

Translation*Petoonia was left behind and Nick, Godzilla and I would be going up in the Black Bitch.

On the morning of the show I was up at 4:00 to load up the final bits of stuff as was Nick who had stayed with us for the night.

I hesitantly peeked through the blinds, expecting the worse but hoping for the best.

Not bad!

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Not bad at all!

I finished cleaning up went down stairs to find that Godzilla was under the weather and wouldn’t be able to come.

So Nick and I headed out and after a breakfast stop in Bradford where Nick chowed down on French Toast Supreme which he enthusiastically proclaimed to be “The most amazing breakfast ever!” and me the western omelette we made our way to the 400 Market by 7:45 to find many vendors already there and ready to go.

It was pretty windy but not horrible!

There were no signs of rain whatsoever.

The 400 Market Crew hadn’t roped off the area as planned and all it took was a couple of words to Vince and company and things were resolved in a heartbeat.

Picnic tables and garbage bins appeared and then I found out about the destruction of the bar that I was told I could have and had CON’T ON PG 22

On the Road A thanks goes out to Critter, the man who cannot slow down. Its a fact he just refuses its like he missed out somewhere along the way and feels that he has missed so much that he needs to go, go, go. Its been a slow start to this riding season compared to years gone by but he has managed to cover an event every weekend day for the first half of june, reaching two events the one Saturday. This of course is not to mention starting his own wildly popular bike shows up at the 400 market for the past two years after holding them at other locations before that.

I am usually the guy going like the hammers of hell to steal one of seniors sayings from my youth, you know he and i have been working together for nearly 40 years now. My schedule is not going to get any better anytime soon with my family growing up and trying to stay relevant in my young kids lives, the others, well we did the best we could as young or at least younger parents, but we never stop trying.

Theres lots coming up ahead of the big Friday the 13th so check out the events calendar in the mag for your most up to date listing of advertised events, and when you attend advertised events remember to them you saw their ad in the mag as that is how we pay the bills around here. And yes we do have bills to pay as printing and distribution does not come free and if you don’t pay em your outta luck. Too bad there are so many out there who think poorly of us for wanting to pay our bills and keep the mag going for all of you who love it.

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A special thanks for the ongoing support of Dave Smye and his firm Mackesy Smye Lawyers for supporting our Friday the 13th t-shirt give away since the very beginning and a big thnks to Dennis at Highway 22 Action Trailer Sales for stepping up for the past few years and supporting our ladies “i bared my boobs” shirts and a thank you to Gord at Black Gold Leather for coming up with the Critter Crew concept with our own Critter and stepping up to support both the mens and ladies free shirt programs for this july 2012 Friday the 13th.

So look for us along main street in dover, we are usually between powell park and Angelos giving away shirts and the crew often works their way through the beer garden at Angelos looking for lady candidates to flash their tits because they are thirsty. Guys, where a riders mag shirt, an old Friday the 13th shirt or a riders mag support shirt will do, alternatively you can bring an old mag with you and exchange it for a shirt, old mag means older than this issue. Ladies we started the ladies shirt program at your request because you wanted a ladies shirt in exchange for flashing your tits and we responded with this program back in around 2008. Remember we have 400 mens shirts and 100 ladies shirts for this event so when they are gone they are gone.

We are already seeing a pretty intensive lineup of events shaping up for late july, august and September so keep your eye on the mag and come on out and show your support. I will likely see you were i see you out there, on the road.

WHAT’S SHAKIN starts at 9am-4pm for more info please call (705)738-2202 1-800-3186173

Peterborough 10am-4pm live music draws trophies and much more for more info please call (705)875-5412

Hawks Motorcycle Club is having their Annual Poker Run registration starts at 9am at Thee Cagney's Pub 802 1/2 Upper Gage St in Hamilton ride leaves 11am registration is 20 per rider 10 per passenger for more info please visit www.hawksmcc.ca

JULY 8th The Deck Pub and Grill at 34 Mill Street Orangeville is having their Spring Motorcycle Show and Shine registration Noon-2pm proceeds to Orangeville Humane Society for more info please call (519)941-6555

The MS Society with the Ladies of Harley London Chapter 9009 present our Poker Ride for Multiple Sclerosis. Registration is at Rocky's, 900 Wilton Grove Rd, London, 11 – 12 pm $20 per person BBQ, prizes and more at Rocky's after the ride Sandy 519-535-7551 sandra@engineeredcoatings.com for more information.

The Ride For Moraine at the Zephyr Community Centre Durham regional roads 13 and 39 registration 9am ride leaves 10:30am for more info please call (905)473-9523 continued on page 24 JULY 13th

JUNE 29th-30th The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Tim Hebert &Playin Possum playing (905)529-0271 JUNE 30th 5th Annual Support The Troops Bash hosted by the London Chapter Falcons M.C. Veterans Canada 892 County Rd 46 Essex 2pm rain or shine for more info please call (519)551-6686 (905)391-7904 JULY 1st Run to the North Wall XVII in Windsor, staging is 12pm at R.C.L. Br. 594-5050 run leaves R.C.L. Br.594 at 1:30pm service at The North Wall at 2pm for more info please call (519)256-6797 JULY 6th-7th The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Colin Amey playing (905)529-0271 JULY 7th Taps Brewery in Niagara Falls is having Wing Fest noon till 10pm for more info go to www.tapsbeer.ca or wingfest@tapsbeer.ca Lincoln County M.C. is having their Harley Davidson Show and Shine 4859 Hillside Dr. Beamsville Adults Only no pets gates open at noon awards at 4:30 for more info please call (905)563-4267 Aces and Eights presents A Christmas in July Toy Ride "Riding for the Children" registration 9am at 1755 Dundas Street West at lake Ridge Road (petro Canada) ride leaves 10am one toy per bike for registration for more info please call (416)991-3207 Kawartha Bikers Church 9th Annual Show and Shine and Swap Meet Fairbairn St.

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Fighting For Your Rights With Scary Larry praising the efforts of LE for their interference and thanking them for assisting you in the advancement of your personal enrichment– Bravo!

Now you’ve graduated to cop bitch! From that platform, according to the ‘Acme Manual of Proven Methods of Selling out for Personal Gain’, it is merely a baby-step to achieving CPI (Certified Police Informant) status!

The infringement of LE in biker events allows LE to gather personal information on participants via waver registration and to conduct direct surveillance during the event under the guise of public safety. A few years back, there was a popular annual biker Show & Shine that was held in the West End of the GTA. This event was approached by the BEU in an attempt to record personal information from the S&S entries because there were a significant number of patch holders that had entered their scoots.

The police request was flat-out refused. The following year, prior to the event date, the organizers were ordered (in the interest of public safety) to contract a significant number of paid off-duty police to provide security due to the possibility of gang interference. This event had also grown from a small grass roots biker event into a shining example that large groups of bikers could peacefully interact during an event that attracted both clubbers and ordinary citizens – and also provided a significant boost to the local economy. Much to the chagrin of LE, the organizers closed the event rather than allow the unethical gathering of personal information. These are our heroes (and our casualties) and are forever respected for taking a stand against the discrimination of bikers! This year’s HHR was attended by members of the Jewish Motorcycle Alliance who were taking part in their Ride to Remember the Holocaust. It appears that the JMA was unaware that the HHR structure was changed, planned and executed by the agents of Law Enforcement. (IMHO) - If they had been made aware – they would have certainly ‘Remembered’ that Hitler’s Nazi Party goose-stepped to power via the Gestapo’s (Nazi Germany’s powerful secret police) policy of gaining public support via character assassination propaganda which

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resulted in the stereotyping and oppression of a visible minority! Smacks of familiarity, Eh Ollie? Recently, my club was forced to endure the rigors of an Ontario BEU roadblock that had stopped us merely because we were on a public approach to the house of a brother club. The dogs of the establishment had deemed it necessary to block both access points and proceeded to record our paperwork and photograph us for their archives.

Now we were travelling lawfully, in pursuit of our daily pleasures, not annoying anyone, but were detained for 30 minutes simply because of our appearance and demeanor. Any person, Jew or Gentile, who has ever read the horrific reports concerning the oppression and subsequent attempted annihilation of the Jewish people, will note similarities between 2012 police tactics and 1933 Gestapo tactics regarding information gathering and profiling techniques. Many of my Jewish Brothers are steadfast and vehemently opposed to any interference by law enforcement in the day-today activities of law abiding bikers! They are also opposed to the profiling of citizens merely because of their lifestyle choices; which were a precursor to the mass arrests and the forced internment of millions of Jews.

As many of you are aware, I have always expressed my opinion regarding the proliferation of BS club patches that spout up every year and then seem to vanish as the wearer suddenly realizes that their BS patch merely symbolizes another loser desperate for acceptance. This summer is no exception! In my rather checkered street education, which has been garnered over a 50 year stint as a rounder, the term ‘Balding Eagle’ was slang terminology used to describe the male appendage and now there is a group sporting a patch designating same. WTF is that about ??

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Critter Country, 400 Market Show and Shine – May 2012

By Critter counted on and I freaked a bit but worked around it * Thank god I brought those tables that I was going to leave behind.

Allan who has helped out at most of my events and some of the Shows at the Riders Mag booth showed up as did Big Murph (Who got to ride.) and we got to the business at hand The wind did cause some issues with canopies and gazebos that were resolved with the application of concrete blocks rope and whatever else we could find.

Jody and Butch from the Black Diamond Riders having already gotten their booth set up came over to help and as a team; we had the stage covered and everything well on the way to being functional in no time.

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We then set about arranging signs the bikes that would park in the Show and Shine area could follow to make it easier for the judges.

My buddy Ralph and his bride Dianne showed up and set up his sound equipment that would keep tunes playing before the band came on and between sets and serve as a PA system throughout the day.

Laura Lee and her Band the Tequila Rockingbirds arrived and set up and things were really shaping up.

Michelle, bartender extraordinaire from Big Daddy’s, friend and just plain nice person came up and volunteered to help and I was quick to accept.

She and Nick did an amazing job at the registration table.

Some other friends of mine Peppermint Patty and Mackie also volunteered and I put them to work selling 50/50 tickets and they too excelled!

Murph and Allan did traffic duty and the flow and the flow of bikes through the gates was smooth and organized and I can safely say the best at any of my events to date.

The band did an amazing job and was well received by all in attendance.

L aura Lee has tremendous energy and a great voice that provided the atmosphere that I was hoping for.

Just add the whole mass of bikes

Critter Country, 400 Market Show and Shine – May 2012

By Critter and bikers that would show up through the course of the day and you have an event.

Murph got called away to happenings at home and had to leave early but his help was much appreciated.

The day flew by and I wandered around visiting with as many as I could.

I have to thank Johnny Sombrero for sending me refreshments to prevent me from dehydrating and parching up as what happened a few years ago and I lost my voice. Much appreciated!

There was a young lady who arrived that caught my attention for reasons that will be obvious when you look at the pictures by the name of (Sorry Darl’n but I’m old and forgetful with names) Stacey or Tracey who I would commandeer to be part of the Crew and serve as Trophy Girl.

With the judging done, the People’s Choice ballots counted and tabulated, and the last of the 50/50 tickets being sold, we moved on to the awards portion of the day.

My very-Grandson Nick said that he wanted to draw the 50/50 ticket and he did and then worked with Allan, Michelle, Peppermint Patty, Mackie, trophy girl Stacey (Or Tracey, to be corrected and confirmed before the next issue.) and myself and we handed out the awards to the deserving winners with Ralph stepping up to look after photography, we had it covered.

It was a fantastic day.

Thanks to The Crew and Vendors at the 400Market for your cooperation. This is the best possible location for this event.

We will make whatever changes we need to make it better.

Thanks to my crew, friends (You know who you are.) and family for your hard work, support and encouragement.

Thanks to those who sponsored trophies and to the vendors who helped make this event a success.

The winners are; Best in Show Sponsored by: DC’s Diner- – Chris Papos, People’s Choice- Sponsored by: Outlaws Canada MC –Jaye Jolicouer, Best Paint Sponsored by: Black Gold - 1st –Joe Vaille, 2nd – Robert Sanderson, Best Street Custom Sponsored by: Perfect Pigs MC - 1st –Sergio Jardim, Best Radical Custom Sponsored by: Aces & Eights MC- Mal Carty, Best Road Warrior -Sponsored by: JABBER’S Airbrush Studio 1st – Dusty 2nd – Paul Vigus, Best American Cruiser - Sponsored by: Brothers of the Blade MC -1st – David Atkinson2nd – Brian Parkin, Best American Touring - Sponsored by: The Black Diamond Riders MC – Chris Papos, Best Metric Cruiser Sponsored by: The 400 Market -1st –Sue Gaudet, 2nd – Hank StephenBest Sportster Sponsored by: Black Gold - 1st –Jaye Jolicoeur, 2nd –Nick Moreau, Best Ladies BikeSponsored by: ITB Transport- 1st – Karen Brown, 2nd –Maria, Best Trike - Sponsored by: Big Daddy’s –not awarded, Best Vintage Stock Sponsored by: PARA-DICE Riders MC - 1st –Willy McAllam Best Vintage Modified - Sponsored by: The 400 Market- 1st –Doug Hart, Best British Sponsored by: The Rider’s Mag - Not awarded, Best Special Interest -Sponsored by: JABBER’S Airbrush Studio - 1st –Thomas Norton, Best Metric Touring- Sponsored by: The 400 Market - 1st – Hank Stephen, Furthest Travelled Sponsored by The Rider’s Mag- Winner –Joe Vaille

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WHAT’S SHAKIN It's Friday the 13th Clare's Thunder Run to Port Dover leaves at 10am from Clare's Hwy #20 Fenwick for more info please call (905)684-4647 Biker Pancake Breakfast 5169 Highway 6 Caledonia $5 each All Proceeds go to the Canadian Cancer Society Aug 14th Clare's Cycle in Fenwick is having Demo days starting at 10am and going until 2pm for more info please call (905)892-2664 JULY 13th-14th The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Amy Churm & Indiana Road playing (905)529-0271 JULY 14th-15th Taps Brewery Niagara Falls Inkfest/Motorcycle show motorcycle show Sunday noon-6pm JULY 20th-21st The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has entertainment playing (905)529-0271 JULY 21st Cargill Bike Bash at the Cargill Community Centre show and shine motorcycle rodeo food and camping available for more info please call (519)366-2701

SUNDAY AUGUST 26TH

Freedom 55 Presents the third annual Freedom Ride to End MS www.freedomridetoendms.com

Where one lucky rider will win a 2012 HD from Kitchener Harley-Davidson Register online for an extra chance to win

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Sixth Annual Show and Shine at the Royal Canadian Legion #134 140 King St Mount Forest 11am start registration is free prizes draws and more for more info please call (519)323-1570 B.R.O. Niagara id having their Summer Bash and Poker Run registration 10am-noon at Husky Truck Stop in St. Catherines York Rd. ride end at bash site 330 Young Rd. Welland for more info please call (905)4011220 or (289)696-5239 JULY 27th-28th The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Bullitt playing (905)529-0271 JULY 27th-29th Motorcycle Tattoo Show at the Petawawa Civic Centre live entertainment lots to see and do for more info please go to motorcycletattooshow.com JULY 28th-29th Perdect Pigs M.C. presents the 5th Anniversary The Perfect Pig Roast 370 Uxbridge Pickering Town Line Claremont aka ``Western Town`` AUG 3rd-6th ABATE the Final Frontier camping, swimming, wet-t shirt, and much much more for more info please go to www.abateontario.ca or call (519)934-1557 AUG 5th Thurst-T`s Cycle 100 Mountain Road unit 201 in Collingwood is having their 5th Annual Riders With A Message Collingwood Ride leaves 10:30

Western Town Smokeout – June 2012

by Rick

Wow! The Twins must have done something serious to piss off Mother Maybe one day I’ll get Nature! And she is obviously really pissed to constantly piss down on their to stay and party but such is the life of a parties the way she does!

I rode all day in a ride that was by all forecasts supposed to be wet and it Roving Reporter. wasn’t only to come here and have the skies open up and dump torrents of We gotta do what we gotta do! water on us!

Maybe she and the other Gods just like to watch riders try to get in and out of I said my goodbyes to some wonderful people the property without dumping their bikes and end up covered in mud.

It was good that we got the games in whose company I will first and there was enough warning treasure until the day I die, I climbed aboard Sweet Petoonia and we made that we could all seek shelter before our way cautiously and carefully down the driveway that had been turned into a real treacherous treat by the heavy rains that had happened not long the deluge hit!

The attendance seemed down again before without incident as some seem to plan their lives and headed home. around the weather forecasts and Great party guys but subsequently miss out on a lot of please try to make up with Mother Nature great parties.

The hard core group that have been before the next party. coming to this event for years and will continue to come in rain, sunshine, shit, sleet or snow or whatever else the fickle bitch that we know as Mother Nature can throw at them as long as there is a party here to go to!

Some start setting up and claiming their space here as early as Wednesday and by the time Saturday rolls around they are in full on party mode!

It is a great place to be!

This year there was a distinct change in that my buddy John www.actiontrailers.ca who does some amazing things with 4728 Egremont Dr. Strathroy, ON ( 15 min. west of London ) meat in his classy Motorcycle We will be announcing our B B Q / Accessories, s m o k e r Grand Opening & Open House in the August Mag Exotic Leathers unit and had set up and was turning out some 432 Pearson Rd. Welland really fine ribs, pulled pork, roast beef and other fine fare in huge portions for ridiculously low prices.

That takes a lot of the pressure off of Charley and Ernie and all of their crew who in the past were constantly making supply runs into town when they ran out of food.

Gel Pad Inserts, Pans ~ Shaping Even in the rain while sitting under shelters the Air Horns, Engraving ~ Studs party continues unabated and when the skies Top Pads, clear there is just more room to party.

Over 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats Again this year I couldn’t stay late as I’d already been on an event that day and had to be up early 905-735-7216 to cover another one tomorrow. www.triplekupholstery.com It was great while it lasted.

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JOKE PAGE plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7."

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact

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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a shorttempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the U.S. Air crew, screaming: "U.S. Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta!

Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can CONTINUED ON PAGE 43

The Rider’s Mag P.O. Box 80034 Appleby Station Burlington, Ont. L7L 6B1

Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern 702... we've already notified our caterers."

Phone: (905) 631-5890 Toll Free 1-877-631-5890 Fax: (905) 333-0213 Email: theridersmag@gmail.com Website: www.theridersmag.com Webmaster: Cyberbiker

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little

Publisher: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor in Chief : J.B. Ballantine X-Computer Geek : Robert Edgington Eastern Ontario/Western Quebec Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 G.T.A. North Rep: Rick Davis 905-853-1163 Southwestern Ontario: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 For Advertising Information or Rate Card Please Contact The Publisher, Editor or Sales Reps Contributing Writers : Donny Peterson, Eternal Riders, Tim Armstrong, Rick Davis, Katherine MacDonald, Jonathon Musson, Al Kasza, Danni, Don Norris.

Contributing Cartoonist: Critter Contributing Babysitters: Grandma Vickie, Grandma MacRae, Grandma Ballantine, Glady Printed By : Canweb Printing Inc. Grimsby, Ontario Printed in Canada The contents of this magazine are copyrighted and remain the property of “The Rider’s Mag”

THE RIDER’S MAG

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Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) Well my summer season of 2012 has officially got officially started.

Petoonia got the green light from Bronson and is running like a dream, my knee is coming along nicely and we are out and about looking for adventures in Critter Country.

There is more than enough to keep me busy and I’m about to get a whole lot busier and experience some major changes in my life, that some of you know about now but you all will know about soon, concerning my involvement with the Riders Mag. I’ve restarted my Thursday Rider’s Nights at Big Daddy’s in Newmarket and they are coming along nicely, even with the widening of Davis Dr. and despite the fact that they lost a huge portion of their front parking lot.

Thursday nights we restrict the front lot to motorcycles only and have lots of room right now and we’re hoping that we get access to the large lots adjacent to Big Daddy’s soon.

I’ve picked up a sound system so that we can have tunes outside until they get the patio built and can make more permanent arrangements. The food is still great, with live entertainment provided by Laura Lee and the Tequila Rockingbirds and a large contingent of varied musicians with various styles who come from miles around to jam. As soon as we get the New Critter’s Crew Cards from the printer our members can start enjoying the benefits and save some money while having a great time We will soon start the draws again as well.

The Critter’s Crew Cards is being really well received with a wide variety of businesses and merchants ready to honour the cards and like Big Daddy’s, and Black Gold offer discounts of 10% when you present the card.

The list of Merchants is growing rapidly already and the cards haven’t even been printed.

You can go online at critterscrew.ca and check it out a sign up for your FREE card.

I have been trying to get out to other Riders Nights in the area as well.

The Loretto Inn has started advertising their Tuesday Night Bike Night and I’ve ridden out a couple of times to check it out, and now when I can’t make it I feel like I’m going through withdrawal.

So I climbed aboard Petoonia and pointed her west and off we went on this absolutely gorgeous night.

The old adage “Getting there is half the fun.” certainly holds up on this ride. You travel some pretty spectacular roads filled with long sweeping turns that run through some of the prettiest countryside around to get here and you can route your way through even more for your ride home.

Then if riding some of the best roads this Province has to offer isn’t enough for you, pull on in to the Loretto Inn, and be further amazed.

New owner, Brenda has paved a large portion of the huge parking lot.

Then you get to try the food which in itself is worth the ride and it is served by a drop dead gorgeous young lady by the name of Chanel (Like the perfume).

Yes damn it! They have 50!

I found an empty table on the large patio and settled in for a pleasant stop that for me would be a fairly good representation of “Critter Heaven” as it was, what with ice cold 50, sensational food and servers like Chanel (By the way, all the servers look fantastic and are equally friendly and efficient, but I have to try and manage my distractions and Chanel was my main distraction at the moment, because I’m old and with any more than one distraction at a time it just turns to confusion, and that is never good.) but if you mix in a bunch of good natured, easy going group of regulars who just add to the charm and character of the place and I was soon sitting with them enjoying their company and sharing stories and it just kept getting better.

The food was amazing with half price wings available to riders.

They also expressed interest in “The Critter ’s Crew Cards” which would be honored anytime, not just on “Bike Night” and not just when you’re riding so it just gets better all the time.

I got some pictures (Yes of course I got Chanel in the shots! I’m not that old yet.), got to talk with new owner Brenda (A short, feisty, redhead with flashing eyes, a big, easy smile and a great sense of humour, who fits right in with her clientele.) about her plans for the place.

She is fully committed to making this one of the best “Bike Nights” around.

It has all the makings as she has a great location with lots of room inside and out, great food and a strong dedicated staff behind her.

Come on in to the Loretto Inn for Tuesday Night Bike Nights or anytime you’re in the area.

You will be glad you did!

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Maltese Cross Softail

This month's feature guy is John from Peterbourgh, this guy waited a long time to get his bike into the mag. I know when we got out there a year and a bit ago he had been on the list for about 3 years at that point and even after we did the pics it was another year and a half to get into print. That happens from time to time when we put out a call for a particular type of bike and we get a good response.

John had a metric bike and he decided it was time to move up so about 6 years ago or so he went over to the local Harley dealer and picked himself up a gently used 2000 Softail Custom, silver. He says that first year he rode the bike stock the way he got it when he bought it and he rolled into a local coffee shop and an acquaintance says to him, hey man I thought you were getting a Harley? John replied it is a Harley (you dick), naw you just put pipes on that old metric. Well let's say that John decided it was time to separate himself and his Harley from everyone else in town. (he says that his old metric was silver too and that was probably the source of the guys confusion) So John set out to turn some heads and did so over a three year period starting with a two tone paint job, blue with silver flames and he says he was not all that keen on the factory gear so he started to change it out adding his Maltese cross front

THE RIDER’S MAG

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wheel, and mirrors. The second year he added the rear wheel with matching pulley as well as a set of brake rotors and updated calipers to boot.

The third year he added the chromed out front end with two inch over fork tubes, forward controls, and had the kick stand moved forward to compensate for the longer front end, now he was getting somewhere with a bike so distinctive that it turned heads everywhere that he went and he continued on with modifications saying that he picked up a set of skull themed aluminum rocker boxes and he wanted them chromed out, the plating actually cost more than the boxes themselves brand new.

Well adding the skull themed rocker boxes opened the door for more skull themed accessories for the bike along with the Maltese cross that was already well established. He turned his attention to the engine itself saying that when he bought the bike the engine was blonde and he had a definite hatred of the blonde engine taking some black paint to the cases and barrels painting them over black and having the inner and outer

Maltese Cross Softail over the 5 years he had been updating the bike till when we got to the shoot in 2011 he had accumulated approximately 70 awards and trophies for a variety of classes, which was part of what continued to drive him on to further update his bike as he got feedback from judges and some of the large indoor shows.

John always rode with his gal Bonnie who is pictured here with the bike, for some of us older riders we know the limitations of a hot lookin ride like this. It's a thrill to ride as its always a head turner but it can be a little hard on both your back and your butt and that goes double for the passenger. These two rode this bike from their home in the Peterbourgh area, as far east as Kingston, as far south as Niagara Falls and as far west as Windsor.

To get further afield John decided that he wanted to buy a Decker so he had picked one up early at the beginning of the year and had taken delivery on the bike the in late April about a week before our scheduled

primary chromed to match up with his rocker boxes and adding some Maltese cross and skulls to the derby cover, inspection cover and clutch cover.

John thought that once he got to that point he might be satisfied with the changes that had been made to the bike to not only make it unmistakeable as a Harley but to make it so distinctive that anytime anyone saw the bike they knew that ride belonged to John. Well let's just say that the ideas kept coming and he kept finding more things to change up on the bike knowing that he wanted that really clean and lean look with everything being chromed out.

So even after the first three years he still found himself adding more items to the bike as he found things that he liked and worked with what was already on the bike, he had gone to great pains with the help of local bike shop owner Judd Smoke to get the bike to where it was at that point and wanted to get all those pesky wires snaked through the frame tubes to give an already uber clean bike an even cleaner look and he found his Maltese Cross light that replaced the billet bullet light that he had originally put on to replace the original stock bike.

Of course John had been taking his bike out to shows, weekend events with shows, ride in shows, indoor winter shows in Toronto and just about anywhere else he could think of taking it. And he won awards saying that

shoot and it was actually a fine weather day and he was itching to get out for a ride on his new Decker saying that Bonnie had back problems and she really needed to get onto something a little more comfortable and they had hopes of riding the east coast either last summer or this summer cruising the Cabot Trail.

Despite having upgraded to the couch that hasn’t deterred John from getting further into the upgrades on his softail saying that after added the lights to the underside of the sheet metal and the bottom of the bike he though he may have maxxed out the add on accessories but now that he has another set of wheels to ride he plans to have the tin repainted again and also plans to have the engine fully rebuilt and plans to add the diamond cut look to the barrels and heads which is a sharp look.

When I asked John about selling the bike he said it was already sold to his son, who he says absolutely loves the bike and has made an initial payment for the bike and he says when the next payment is made he can ride the bike. John says it's all good cause he really didn't want to sell, he's not getting nearly what he put into it but its staying in the family and he's happy let his son have it cause he can always take it for a ride when he feels the need.

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Biker Church with Pastor Dave Neals

Maltese Cross Softail Owner: John H. City: Peterborough, ON General Year & Make: 2000 Softail Model: FXST Assembly by: Owner & Judd Engine Year: 2006 Model: HD Builder: H-D ReBuilder: Judd Smoke Displacement: 102” Lower end: H-D Pistons: H-D Rods: H-D Flywheels: H-D Balancing: H-D Cylinders: H-D Cases: H-D Heads: H-D Mid West Custom Valves: H-D Cam: Andrews Lifters: H-D Mid West Custom Ignition: H-D Coils/Wires: H-D Carb: H-D Air Cleaner: Can-Am Pipes:Vance & Hines Big Shots Transmission Year: 2000 Type: H-D Shifting: Foot Clutch: Wet Multiple Disc Gears: H-D Primary Drive: H-D Case: H-D Mid West Custom Painting Type: Base/Clear Colour: Blue & Silver Special Paint: Silver Flames Painter: Brian Richard Frame Builder: Owner/ Judd Smoke Year: 2005

Type: H-D Stretch: 6” Swing Arm: H-D Rear Suspension: H-D Accessories Handlebars: H-D Pullback Risers: 3” Controls: H-D Seat: H-D Tailight: H-D Oil Tank: H-D Gas Tank: H-D Front Pegs: Kuryakin Rear Pegs: Kuryakin Foot Controls: H-D Grips: Kuryakin Mirrors:: Kuryakin Headlight: Kuryakin Turn Signals: Kuryakin Speedometer: H-D Primary Cover: H-D Mid West Custom Front End Type: H-D Year: 2006 Builder: Owner & Judd Smoke Extension: 6” over Triple Trees: 5” Special Features: 3 Light Kits Wheels Front Size: 21” Type: Custom Tire: Avon Venom Brake: H-D Fender: H-D Rear Size: 18” Type: Custom Tire: Metzler Brakes: 4 Piston Fender: H-D Model: Bonnie

THE RIDER’S MAG

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A Day to remember Fathers Day for me. It day started at 6 AM when we loaded up three of us on bikes and three in a van. An d we headed north to a village called Griffith on Hwy 41.It was a beautiful morning a slight wind, a little cool, yet great riding weather. An hour and half we were sitting in Bancroft for breakfast and then off to Griffith to The Hilltop Tabernackle .

It was a great service, I shared a message on the Highest place a relationship to the Man, God. He deserves first place in our lives.Afterwards we had a time of fellowship and a spaghetti dinner and we did what Bikers do best – eat it was great even several sauce some hot and some for the quieter types. The one I| had was hot and burned to the bottom but was good and then the chaser a piece of coconut pie my favorite. All was well, the road captain Ben said ok it is time to go, we knew there was a rain storm coming and we didn’t want to get caught in it. We gassed up and we were off. We took 41 south and enjoyed the curves riding toward Kaladar. Just prior to Kaladar the G.P.S turned us east onto a service road. Some of the curves were a little tight and then all of a sudden the bike ahead that Rzosanna was riding got into sand and gravel and she was struggling to get free of that. I was catching up quickly, too quickly I was scared if I passed on the left and she got it out we might collide so I took the option of going around her hoping to ride on the grass on her right. I started to brake but not locking it up which would have definitely produced a slide straight into the depths of the ditch, little did I know there was a rain rut and a large hole directly in front. I seen that hole and felt my wheel drop in. At that point I called out “ I need help God this is not good,” The next moment I found myself flying like superman over the windshield. All I could remember was like a record was playing in my head – Roll – Roll- Roll. I came to rest on my side on the grass, I really felt that I could have stood up and walked back to my bike, But I was quickly swarmed with two nurses 1 which was riding with us, 2 ambulance attendants and two doctors who were off duty at the time.

It was how amazing things happened to have all those professionals their at that time, it was like God arranged their services at that moment on that road. I was basically checked out prior to the ambulance arriving. They loaded me in for the worst part of a endurance ride to the hospital. I thought if I survived this ride I must be in good health. In Belleville the doctor and medical staff were great. They checked me out and could not find anything to be concerned with. The Doctor signed the paper work and kicked me out.

The only thing they did was cut my new Bikers Church T Shirt off which will now be used to clean the bike.

Now here I sit in front of my computer explaining a ride to remember on Father’s day, with no bandages, no splints, no casts only a few sore muscles and two very small friction burns. It great to know my father and when he comes through he comes through!

I have learned over the years that if we serve the Man he will be there to protect you in all situations just as I did yesterday, I called out for his help and he was there. In John 15:15 Jesus calls us friends only if we have a relationship with him. You see God calls us to be His Loyal Friend , for whatever purpose He has for our life. And in Jeremiah 29:11 he plans to bless and prosper us. I have learned if you put your trust in God he is always their Joshua 1: 5 he says he will be with me always and he will never fail or forsake me.

Pastor Dave daveneals@bikerschurch.com

For Your Personal Needs: Biker, Formal and Non Formal Weddings Childrens Dedications & Baptisms Funerals and Committal Services Contact Rev. David Neals david.neals@nexicom.net

Serving Southern Ontario

Niagara HOG Spring Poker Run Rose T. After a number of years of unpredictable weather in May, Niagara HOG finally got a beautiful sunny warm day for their Spring Poker Run. Over 150 people registered at Clare’s where you got you first card.

People wandered around the store, bought tickets on the Friday the 13th quilt, that Niagara HOG is raffling off and waited for the first group to leave. Four groups left at different times to make the crowd manageable at the different card stops.

First stop, Lincoln County MC clubhouse in Beamsville. The members of LCMC have a couple gatekeepers that direct traffic in and out, other member BBQ or sell ticket…very efficient. The members of Lincoln County have opened their place to Niagara HOG for a number of years now.

Two cards are drawn there while people enjoy a hamburger or hotdog with fries and your choice of pop. It is an opportunity for riders that have never attended Lincoln County’s Show & Shine to check out the property and the clubhouse. This year the Show & Shine is July 9th from noon until 5:00.

Great spot and a well organised event.

Second stop, for the 4th card was Tons of Gear on #20. It gave riders an opportunity to visit the store that some people may not have been to before. Leaving there was a long winding run up to the Reeb House on #3. This stop was chosen in case riders wanted to check out the Swap Meet just down the way from there.

When I got to the Reeb House the parking lot was already full of bikes and I thought that I was late for setting up the last card stop. It turns out that everyone there had been to the Swap Meet and I got a full report on it. I met a number of people from Hamilton and around the area that where enjoying the patio with a tall

cool one. When the Poker Run groups started coming in, the Reeb House went from a busy place to a crazy one. The last card was drawn and if your hand had possibility you were encouraged to buy an extra card for a buck. Glenn B. did and won the best poker hand with a full house….3 aces and a pair of 10s…congrats.

The Poker Run ended at the Royal Canadian Legion in Welland this year. Yes, it is a change of venue for Niagara HOG, “the times they are a changing”. The Legion put on a BBQ, the door prizes were handed out, Best Poker Hand went to Glenn and the 50/50 was over $150. It was a great day and Niagara HOG hopes for the same type of weather and turn out on August 12 for their annual Summer Poker Run. Hope to see you there.

Go well. R.

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Blackhawks M/C Open House The Blackhawks M/C held an open house up at S.B.B. back in May, it looked like a half decent day for a ride with rain in the area but since it was a short ride I figured even if I couldn't thread the needle the worst case was a 20-30 minute ride in the rain if it actually rained, well let's just say it didn’t I went up to the event, got to meet a bunch of the guys in the club and learn a lot of history that I wasn’t aware of.

I had attended a Blackhawks event a few years back up at Frankie's in Mount hope, their annual show and shine in the fall. This has been the exclusive province of Jon and I covered when he had some health issues and I got a lot of, where's Jon? But I did cover the event and enjoyed it.

This was a little different cause I got to meet the guys and look at some of the history of the club which they had on display at the event in the form of artifacts like peak hats, fancy embroidered shirts, ornamental belts, leather jackets, along with a variety of field day awards some in the form of trophies others more imaginative made from melted pistons, air breather covers, etc. There were old leather aviator helmets and goggles as well.

Remember there wasn't a helmet law on the books here in Ontario until the 60’s.

I recall being told that the club was reforming and despite being a Hamilton native and being around for more that 5 decades at this point I had never heard of them being more familiar with the rowdiness of the 70’s and 80’s than with the history of the city which pre-dated my birth. So when I got with Woggy and he started showing me some of the old historical pieces and explaining some of them, of course I wanted to know more.

Seems Woggy was a member of the club back in the 70’s when it folded from its founding in 1936 and incorporation in 1948. They were a group of motorcycle enthusiasts who started riding together and held a variety of events in the area and had a good relationship with the city, the government, and the law enforcement community, they were known for their blood runs in which the members rode to the red cross and donated blood.

They often rode in parades in Hamilton in place of the police, helped the military train dispatch riders, set up a home guard in the city during the

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THE RIDER’S MAG

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Blackhawks M/C Open House

second world war and some of their number volunteered for duty and served as dispatch riders overseas. After the war they incorporated the club and set up a clubhouse in a small shed before finding a larger more permanent location in Dundas. Their club continued on into the early 70’s when many of their founding members had passed away and many were retiring, they decided that it would be best to retire the club name and send the club into history but some of the members and the children of some of the members decided that they wanted to reconstitute the club in the 90’s and they have been around and prospering since then.

All of this history is available on the c l u b s w e b s i t e www.blackhawksmc.ca and if you really want to get into the nuts and bolts of this clubs more than 75 years worth of history that's the place to get the info. I enjoyed hanging out with the guys especially the members who were there before the club shut down, they say that when they ride often people will approach them to say that their grandfather or great uncle had rode with the club.

There were some older gentlemen on hand who were elder members back in the 70’s when the club folded and most are getting to far along to ride anymore but one member was so enthusiastic that he had Blackhawks m/c logos on the front and rear bumpers of his car.

These guys support the mag and put on a number of events each year most of which are advertised and I would suggest anyone interested in this historic club should come out to some of their events and check it out and meet the guys, I know they have their annual show and shine coming up in the fall at Frankie's bar and grill in Mount Hope, and when you come out to this event you can sample some of the great food at Frankie's.

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THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 33

Treating Yourself Expo

By James

The third annual Treating Yourself Expo has shown us once again to be a grand, vibrant and growing event.

Medical Marijuana is the way of the future. Hence we see such ventures as treating yourself, which covers a magazine, a website – www.treatingyourself.com and an Expo: www.treatingyouselfexpo.com.

-Treating yourself.com was founded in May of 2002 by Marco Renda Publication started in 2005, with the Expo in 2010.

“The Treat Expo is unlike any other in all of Canada, (With the exception of the upcoming TY to premiere 2013 in Toronto, as well as one for British Columbia the following year) – It has everything and everyone you need to educate yourself about Medicinal Cannabis. -This includes where and how to qualify for it, which is one of the most reoccurring questions I would hear from newcomers to this alternative medicine” Present at this years show were Doctors, Nurses, Patients, LEAP (Law Enforcement Against Prohibition), Store Owners, Lawyers, The Curious, Other Industry Types, Wholesalers and Glass Blowers. Last but not least were the usual suspects of advocates like Jodie Emery “The Princess of Pot” (And what a motivating speaker she is !!)

The author of the wonderful book “Sex Pot” – Mama Kind, just so happened to be at this year’s expo. Funny story, I stopped a girl wearing a shirt that said “Bong Slut` and found out she is the author of Sex Pot –

“The Marijuana Lovers Guide to Gettin’ it On, Sexy Stoner Advice from Cannabis Columnist”“Marijuana has helped me achieve more sex, intimacy and yes, even love, than any force save human nature” Well, she was well spoken and seems to be a great girl.. I say a great enthusiastic person!!

From NORML Canada, I met several staff including Kevin Benson and Melissa Freake. And with Kevin being the regional director had a fair bit to say about our laws and I have hopes to continue out conversations about such matters. www.norml.ca The Lounge The Vapor Lounge boasts a 4200 square foot area, giving it the title of being the World’s Largest Lounge.

It comes fully equipped with various vaporizers for patients to sit down and try for medicating purposes.

“I even seen one guy there with a Volcano Vaporizer hooked up to a lighter plugin on his electric scooter!! “ On site MM Lab Testing The team from Steep Hill Labs – California’s premier testing facility – was also in appearance. Since 2008 this privately owned and operated facility has been

THE RIDER’S MAG

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Treating Yourself Expo

By James

offering 3 cannabinoid Potency Analysis as well as screening for microbiological contaminants and pesticides to over 50+ medical cannabis dispensaries in the Bay Area alone. In addition to potency testing and screening, the team of doctors and scientists at Steep Hill offer third-party inspections of licensed medical cannabis facilities and standardized nitrogen packaging – which greatly reduces the chance of mold and bacterial growth while maintaining the freshness and quality of the medicine throughout the year.

Flame Off The Flame Off is a live demonstration and competition of Lampworking.

It is more commonly known as Glass Blowing Contestants would work with flame and torches; creating & performing in front of the audience, during and inside the expo to compete for first, second and third place.

The winners are listed further down the page.

Flame Off 1st Brandon Martin, Big Z, Burton 2nd Chris Carlson, Pakoh, Marcell 3rd Chad G, J.O.P., Kurt B

/ UKB Clear Warlock / Compassion Club / Van, Island C.S. Eight Ball (on white) Starfish / Private Grower / Indoor Garden Solutions Gold Skull (on Black) Cherry Slyder X Tom Hills Deep Chunk / Private Grower / Pothead Pete & Sabrina Green Chemdog / Private Grower / Indoor Garden Solutions Green Alien Mullaway’s Right / Private Grower / Imran Green $$$$ God Bud (BCBD) / Private Grower / Dr. Jay Green Leaf Grape X / Private Grower / Indoor Gardens Solutions Green Playboy Bubba Kush / Private Grower / Urban Grower Orange B-Ball SECRET VARIETY / Compassion Club / UKB Red 4:20 Critical Lights / Compassion Club / Section 56 Red Hearts S10 / Private Grower / Indoor Garden Solutions Let me tell you this was not an easy task! The collective team at Where Heads Meet’s staff , (whereheadsmeet.ca)- consisted of David W. Jacki CONTINUED ON PAGE 42

Judging One of the best parts of the convention was the judging of 11 private growers and 7 compassion clubs with roughly 48 hrs to make judgment on 18 different entries! -It was definitely a fun and trying task.

First, you get 18 samples to pick, and the best ones come in these little baggies with different pictures for simple identification so as to keep judging unbiased or impartial.

BAG DESCRIPTION; ENTRY; CATEGORY; ENTRANT Black Blue Cheese / Private Grower / Urban Grower Black Cross Jack / Private Grower / Indoor Garden Solutions Black Spade Grape Escape / Compassion Club / MedCann Access Black Ying Yang Cheese / Compassion Club / Northern Ontario C.C. Black Batman (on Yellow) Purple Kush / Compassion Club / MedCann Access Blue Grape Chemo / Private Grower / Humber Valley Seeds Blue Devil Lemon Skunk / Compassion Club

THE RIDER’S MAG

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Durham Motorcycle Ride for Dad.

by Rick The weather forecast weren`t looking particularly promising for this ride and I was pretty sure that I was going to end up soaking wet.

Even when I woke up the skies were bleak and everything was drenched from the rain that had been falling steadily all night.

I cleaned up and went to the studio to clear up a few things before heading over to Port Perry where I would join this merry band of motorcyclists for a poker run to raise money and awareness of Prostate cancer and the Are you or your club looking at an effective way to show your support to our troops?

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund might be the answer.

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund supports Canadian service members who are wounded during operations.

From the outset of the healing process, we hope to improve the general morale and welfare of the soldiers and their families.

How can you help?

Send a donation, Have a club charity event, Pass the word to other riders Send donations or correspondence to:

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund For more information email: info@woundedwarriors.ca or Check out the website:

www.woundedwarriors.ca

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 36

importance of getting a rectal examination and PSAtest.

I was busy suiting up for a wet ride as I opened the garage door and was surprised to see it clearing up.

Not much but enough to make me remove my wet weather gear and head out without it.

It was still looking grim over to the east but I kept on moving and the skies actually cleared as I went along. I felt sort of how Moses must have felt when he allegedly parted the Sea. Kind of like, WTF? I can’t believe this is happening but I’ll go with it!

Well OK so far so good. Let’s see if this is really working or if it’s a trap and some power ,is just trying to lure me out in the open without raingear (Probably Lord Julian, because we all know he’s doing the Lord’s work.) so that the Gods can extract some kind of cruel revenge.

The roads were still wet and I felt the odd drop from time to time but for the most part it was a great ride across.

I pulled into the Recreation Centre to find perhaps a couple of dozen Bikes in the lot where I was being directed by the First Cav members who were in charge of keeping things orderly.

I parked Petoonia grabbed my trusty Nikon and made my way inside where I introduced myself to the organizers and told them that I would be accompanying them on the ride for the day.

I was introduced to the Road CaptainAl and he explained the route and how we would run.

I also met Charles the ``Media Guy`` who filled me in on other details and provided a map of the route and a meal ticket for dinner at the end of the ride which would be back at the Recreation Centre.

I went inside for a free coffee and donut and to check out some of the vendors and displays.

They had the official opening ceremonies, where they stressed the importance of regular screening and testing for Prostate cancer.

I was happy to be able to truthfully raise my hand when they asked the crowd who had recently had the rectal exam and PSAtest!

This is a real concern and may not be considered by many to be as big a problem as Breast cancer and other diseases and doesn`t seem to garner as much media attention and exposure but it deserves to be

Durham Motorcycle Ride for Dad.

by Rick considered to be as big a threat because it is!

There were survivors and those now going through treatment on this ride and names of some those who had succumbed to the disease in the past year were read out.

By now the crowd had swelled considerably as the weather was looking better by the minute and those who may have been holding back now showed up and the lot was packed with motorcycles of all sizes and types and cheery ``Ride for Dad`` flags flapped merrily in the breeze everywhere.

We were told to get ready to leave and we went to our motorcycles and prepared to follow the lead bikes out.

I moved Petoonia off to the side and had explained to Al the Road Captain that I would hang back and get pictures of the group as they left but would catch up.

The First Cav guys eyed me suspiciously as a guy that might ruin the organization and symmetry that they were working so hard to achieve.

I tried to ignore their looks that said ``Get the fuck in line with everybody else you non-conformist!`` but it was clear that they objected to me making up my own rules.

I`m used to it as I`ve been doing what I do for a long time now and have absolutely no intention of changing my ways now and the strains of going against the current no longer really bother me, but I am aware of that the currents do exist I just chose to ignore them.

We set out on what was to be a great ride on some great roads that I will go back someday and ride on my own without being fettered by some riders less enamored of long sweeping turns and switch backs than I. We made a large swing up through Beaverton and back through some very picturesque countryside.

It was a well thought out route with some good stops. All well planned out and equipped with Porta-potties and such at well-timed intervals in consideration of the needs of some participants.

We arrived back at The Recreation Centre and were treated to some great burgers and hotdogs complete with

(I`m trying to convince people that they did it just for me.) heaps of fried onions. Man that did hit the spot.

I hung around for a while and bought some of the stickers, stuffed biker bears and such and heard a bit of the band before saying my goodbyes and heading out.

There was a motorcycle show and Shine as well but I didn`t hang around to see who won as I still had one more event that I was going to be able to do yet today and I was promised the results would be e mailed to me.

I didn’t get the all of the Show and Shine results but did get the encouraging and welcome results of the Ride as a whole.

There were137 registered riders and they raised $23,822.60 for the fight against this dreaded disease.

There is one person in particular that I would like to commend other than the organizers of this really great ride for such a worthy cause.

Judith from the Red Knights, on the Softail Deluxe trike built by my buddy Josh and wife of Bones who ultimately won in the V Twin class in the Show and Shine, for leaving her rain gear on for all but the final leg of the run in an effort to ward off the Rain Gods and took one for the team so that we could ride dry while she sweated her cute little butt off in that hot gear.

Thanks Darl`n.

Great ride! I had a great time and hope we can do it again next year!

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THE RIDER’S MAG

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Orangeville Legion Show and Shine- 2012

by Rick It was a beautiful day as I settled in on Petoonia’s plush seat and she carried me effortlessly across Hwy. 9 to Orangeville and to the Legion that was once again hosting a Show and Shine that used to rival all others in popularity and attendance rain or shine.

I say used to, because last year thanks to interference by a local LC BO inspector, that was tantamount to discrimination that effectively ruined a really good event that the Legion has done well with for the past ten years until some Government employee took it upon herself to impose restrictions in regards to what clothing and patches and such that bikers attending the event could wear on the property.

This became the business and jurisdiction of the LCBO when?

The Legion asked the local Police for definition and was given really vague ideas of what was allowed and what

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THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 38

wasn’t and the result was total confusion and it was decided that anybody wearing any kind of a patch was barred from the property, including military groups.

I cried foul and went to the OCC who investigated and what I heard was that this inspector was way beyond the perimeters of her job in making the decisions that she did.

The OCC contacted the Legion and again, in my mind, I thought that the matter had been resolved and we could put all the silliness behind us and get on with the Show and Shines!

I had driven by just the weekend before and there was a sign proclaiming that there was a Motorcycle Show and Shine to be held there on the advertised date but nothing saying anything about restrictions and there was no signage about restrictions at present either.

In fact the subject came up the day before with an actual member of the BDR who has also been a member of that Legion for over twenty years and he was served in the Legion just days previous while wearing his Club colours. I should point out too that the BDR had supported that Legion for years. They hosted parties there with never a hint of trouble and brought much needed revenue into the Legion.

I rolled in to a parking lot that held less of a crowd than I was expecting, but it was still fairly early so I thought not much about it.

The BBQ crew was hard at it turning out some awesome Burgers and hotdogs and that spectacular pea meal bacon on a bun. They remembered me and remembered my passion for those magnificent fried onions that I could smell as I rode down the Street and really heaped them on. I went to the beer garden for a pretend 50 to wash it all down because they no longer carry real 50.

I enquired about the restrictions on the permit and was told that there were none this year. I was happy to hear this as I could perhaps, with a favourable write up and review in the Mag saying that the silliness was over and start to turn things around and start to restore what once was a fantastic event and repair the damage caused by one overzealous, selfabsorbed, Government employee who for whatever motivation, seemed to have an axe to grind and didn’t care about the Legion or any of the people who enjoyed and supported the event and the Legion and never experienced any trouble, as long as she was able to take a swipe at bikers.

Happy in my ignorance I wandered around until a Black Diamond Rider supporter told me that he had been told to either remove his Support T shirt or leave the property.

I now went to investigate and was told that while there were no stipulations on the permit itself, the LCBO inspector had sent a letter to the Legion specifying that no Club Colours or paraphernalia could be worn at the event and that the inspector would be there watching and failure to comply with her restrictions would result in the cancellation of the Legions Liquor

Orangeville Legion Show and Shine- 2012

by Rick t h e lack o f intest inal fortit ude that i s bein L9H 5E1

license. I was waiting for her arrival but she never did show up just an Orangeville Cop who knew nothing about the restrictions and he left without incident or confrontation.

g displayed by some of those they left behind.

I really hope that this situation can be resolved and that the LCBO can look after selling liquor and leave law making up to those whose job it is. And someone please inform her that we elect those people we don’t hire them off the street!

I wasn’t sent the winners list at press time so I can’t provide it

I was unable to secure a copy of the license or the letter and am going strictly on the say so of Legion executive.

I would really like to know on what or who’s authority and under which laws did this inspector operate under to make these restrictions and definitions.

Did someone appoint her as Queen and protector of the realm or Mother of Dragons when she rose to the lofty heights of LCBO inspector?

It was still a good event and there were a lot of people I knew and enjoyed spending time with but things had been soured for me.

If we continue to let self-appointed Saints, who can rise up on merely a whim and make discriminatory decisions and bully groups like the Legion who are facing dwindling membership as it is and struggle to make ends meet and look for events such as ! Harley-Davidson this to keep them functional we are all in ! All Makes - All Models for a nasty ride and are disgracing those feisty ! Service veterans who fought to free us from tyrants by ! Parts & Accessories letting it happen in their own Legion Halls that ! Sales they held sacred!

It is time to make some ! Consignment Sales noise lest our veterans roll in their graves over

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www.stoneycreekchoppers.ca THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 39

Ladies and their Harley’s

This month's feature lady is Sandy, you may recognize her from a couple years ago. Sandy was the proud owner of a vintage 1982 Sturgis, a very unique bike and Harley-Davidsons first motorcycles with a final belt. Sandy found the old ironth head to be a little too much for her to manage and bought herself this 100 Anniversary low rider and she owned it at the time, lamenting that she rides it all the time. So we suggested that she put herself back on the list, which she did.

Sandy had always wanted to ride and quite a few years ago she had the opportunity to get on a bike of her own, she had picked up a 1981 Yamaha for next to nothing and it had some issues but she was fortunate that the bikes problem was one that was common to that make and model and one of the mechanics at Clare's in Fenwick was able to put his finger on the problem fix it

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right up for her and the bike ran like a million bucks.

She rode her metric all over the place and says that frequently people would say wow I started riding on a bike just like that one, but Sandy was determined and wanted to move on and get to the Harley so she headed up to A.M. Sales in Toronto a leading seller of used bikes sold through auction and found this 100th Anniversary Low rider which had presumably been repossessed by a bank and sent to auction.

Sandy says that the bike was in fairly good condition and was bone stock with zero changes when she picked it up and needed relatively little work to be rideable for her, the first thing she added was the windshield and also the s n a z z y looking saddle bags which I was sure were quick release but she says no they are bolted on to the bike. She says the bags are necessary to carry her extra gear around and they came w i t h a n

Ladies and their Harley’s The tool pouch behind the windshield really carries tools but she says from time to time she puts her camera in there but getting it out and trying to take pictures while riding has met with mixed results, but that speaks to Sandy's love of riding. She is well known in the Niagara area as a lady rider who always shows up for an event despite the weather. This past Friday the 13th was a cool ride and she left home around 6:30 in the morning and even with her heated jacket had to stop every half hour or so the check that her fingers and toes were still there.

Sandy also shows up for many of the rides and events in the Niagara area, Lisa at Clare's has been putting on a ride on National Female ride day for a number of years now on the first Friday in May and the weather has been less that spectacular but Sandy almost always showed up for the ride, saying this year she missed the ride because when she came out from work her car had a flat tire. She tried changing the tire herself but could only remove 4 of the 5 lug nuts. When a co-worker came out and had one of those roadside flat repair kits, they pumped the tire up with air and replaced the lug nuts and she was on her way but far too late to make this year's ride.

adapter kit to mount them and reposition the signals on the back fender and although she says the bike definitely looked cleaner without the bags they are necessary.

You will notice that she has a very unique seat on the bike which she finds far more comfortable than the stock seat. The hard seat is comfortable compared to the soft one saying she can ride for hours or days on this seat where the old one made her sore, but she would like to get her hands on the backrest that comes with this seat saying it would make long rides even more comfortable and she could put some of her gear on the back fender.

Sandy is thinking about changing up the sheet metal on theth bike saying that she has done some research on her rather unique 100 anniversary low rider, it came in gun metal grey for the first half of the year then was available in black, blue, and red. She says the red model came with a 100th anniversary decal as opposed to the badges on the tanks on hers.

She has always kinda liked the red but says it's a long shot to find a set of red tins so she thinks she’d like to find a gas tank at the least as she has other fenders that will fit now and put a nice root beer paint job on the bike and store her black factory tins in case she decides to sell the bike somewhere down the road.

Sandy has also done her fair share of long distance riding taking trips with friends to the York PA. Harley-Davidson factory, visiting Gettysburg, and riding through a variety of mountains in the area and covering states from New York all the way over to Michigan as they road across the southern tier of Lake Erie over the course of a week.

She says that she is hoping to make a trip out to the east coast to visit family sometime but isn’t sure when she can get to it with so many other things on the go. Sandy has also been expanding her local riding horizons saying that after as many years as she has been riding she has grown a little tired of riding the Niagara Parkway and attending local poker runs and charity rides so she has hooked up with a group of riders out of Hamilton and been doing a lot of riding up that way saying her first ride to Elora gorge was amazing.

You can bet this lady will be showing up in Port Dover for Friday the 13th in July, after all she did risk freezing her extremities to make it to April. But I can say with some certainty that Sandy has more planned for this summer than just a ride to Port Dover, she will be out exploring the roads of all of Southern Ontario at the very least and more if she can find the time.

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Treating Yourself Expo

By James

W, James L and Kelly A-. All did a phenomenal job to help judge.

It was a very difficult job, being hard to cleanse the pallet so to speak, but we managed to work diligently right up to the deadline. And the winners were as follows: Private Grower Cup 1st Urban Grower / Blue Cheese 2nd JB / Medikush 3rd Imran / Mullaway’s Right Compassion Club Cup 1st Rocky Mountain / Chocolope nd 2 Northern Ontario Compassion Club / Cheese 3rd Vancouver Island Compassion Society / Warlock Seed Company Indica Cup 1st Kannabia / Mataro Blue 2nd Kannabia / Kannabia Special 3rd House of the Great Gardener / Haoma Seed Company Sativa Cup 1st Paradise Seeds / Atomical Haze 2nd Medical Seeds / Organic Ygriega 3rd BC Buddepot / Sweet Island Skunk

Functional Glass Cup 1st Korey Cotnam 2nd RooR 3rd Goolen Many Head shops were also present from far and wide! From the following list are stores you can find much of your needed products and or information or counter culture!

1) Where Heads Meet – Hamilton, ON 2) Organic Traveler – London, ON 3) Trixx – Thunder Bay, ON 4) The Pot Shop – Orilla, ON 5) Shop 420 – London, ON / Stratford, ON 6) 420 – Kingston, ON 7) Head 2 Head – Regina, SK 8) Roacharama - Toronto, ON 9) THC (Toronto Hemp Company) – Toronto, ON Plus so many more that there was unfortunately too many to list!

James L.

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JOKE PAGE to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, U.S. Air 2771?" "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of U.S. Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every cockpit around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking the traffic controller, "Wasn't I married to you once?"

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or .. I'll have to give it to this nice man here."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."

A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, “Come on, kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"

Harley ! BSA ! Norton ! Triumph

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(613) 392-8433 www.makeitroar.com PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

EMPLOYEE NOTICE: Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, National has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 55 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Govt to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers ).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice, andSCREWED as many times as the Govt deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Govt.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. National has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

MOVED TO NEW LOCATION! 11 Wiggins Road, Caledon, ON P: (905) 846-1071 www.reinharttrailers.com In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 46

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108 Beaumont Cres. Guelph, Ont THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 43

Highway of Heroes Ride

by Don

It was June 1 when I led five members of The Hurtin Old Guys out of Bolton to bypass the crazy Friday night traffic on the 401 across Toronto. We rode through the worst weather I’ve ever ridden in. Wind and rain came in gusts, blurring our vision and hurling us into other lanes. The rain on our faces felt like hail. Trees blew down. We barely made it to Trenton on a tank of gas because of headwinds and it took us three and a half hours. I asked each H.O.G. how they liked the route I chose and they all said it was good in spite of the weather. I finally got the bike wash I wanted. We checked into the Holiday Inn and met others who had arrived earlier. Supper, hang cloths to dry and off to bed!

Saturday arrived and promised to be better than Friday. Cloudy, but no rain and less wind! Seven thousand riders were expected for the Highway of Heroes Ride (HHR), but somewhere between 3 and 4 thousand were ready to show their support for the troops and respect for the fallen. At the Trenton Air Base we were serenaded by the City of Trenton Orchestra, the air force pipes and drums and a woman who sang like an angel. Several speeches were spoken. The base commander, the MPP for Edmonton and other politicians plus Darlene Cushman who lost her son to an IED in 2007 had words of gratitude for our show of support. Tears would well up in my eyes more than once during this event.

The police dedicated twenty motorcycle escorts to the ride and hundreds of cruisers to blocking the exchange lanes from collectors to express. We had the exclusive use of the express lanes even though we only used the fast lane of three. I thought the OPP did a fantastic job.

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Shortly after getting our speed up on the 401, the sun came out and provided for a pleasant ride. Near Bowmanville we passed a group of about thirty riders holding up traffic in the middle lane at about eighty kilometers an hour. Two police bikes moved into the center lane in front and slowed to their speed to provide an escort. The purpose of an escort is to warn other motorists of a potential hazard. I’ve been called a lot of things, but hazard is a new one. As I rode under overpasses, I saluted every crowded group of flag waivers and citizens supporting our veterans.

Some might think this ride to show support for our military is strictly for hearty southern Ontario riders, but it’s not. I spoke with two riders from Florida and Virginia who had ridden to The Wall in Washington DC from California before coming up to Ontario for our ride. They’ve been riding since early May. Ten riders from Florida flew in and rented Harleys for the ride. There were representatives from Australia, Israel, France and Britain to name a few, and several veteran clubs from the USA. The end of the ride was at the Sound Academy at Polson Pier with Show and Shine, vendors and food and drink. If it wasn’t for the cold wind coming off Lake Ontario, it would have been a great party, but the crowd seemed to enjoy themselves and most were inside. I tried to find the VIP lounge to relax, but was unsuccessful. Lou Devouno, the main organizer, received the Queen’s Jubilee Medal. I thanked Lou for inviting me. Actually he insisted that I ride with him. More speeches, static displays of military tanks and artillery and an award of a military medal for a World War Two veteran (Devil’s Brigade) capped off the day before I left early. Got home just before it poured again! You can read about the Devil’s Brigade in my new book “Comrades”. (donnorris@rogers.com)

The Deck Show and Shine- June 2012

by Rick I had some concerns as to whether this event was going to happen or not when last month before doing the layout of the Mag I stopped by the Deck to find that it was closed by the LCBO for according to the notice posted on windows and doors to be in connection to “Previous Infractions” which told me that Tim’s personal war with the local LCBO inspector and the local Police were far from being resolved.

The ad was close to being pulled when Tim called and said that the event was still on and he was going to have it regardless.

So it was that I headed to Orangeville in the Black Bitch on a cold and rainy day, as I had other things to do over in the area that required a larger vehicle and it was pissing down rain.

I pulled into the half empty rain-soaked parking lot and walked toward the street.

There was a small gathering of people milling around on Mill St. mostly

We accept paper or plastic

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comprised of Johnny Sombrero and his crew of Black Diamond Riders and supporters and perhaps a dozen or so motorcycles.

I said my hellos and made my way into the not overly busy bar and saw some familiar faces.

I asked for a 50 and was told that they couldn’t serve liquor or beer because they didn’t have a license at the moment.

I did get a chance to talk to Tim and he explained to me the stuff that was happening in his World.

As you must have already figured out, the event was far from being a roaring success due to rain and those who would rain on Tim’s parade.

The adventure continues………..

The only winner of the Show and Shine was Big Bill as he was the only one who registered I think for Best Chrome.

Support Shirts LONG SLEEVE ___ $35 S___ M___ L ___ XL ___

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Page 45

JOKE PAGE Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.

Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beatin g your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, a CLEARANCE SALE! 20-30% OFF STOREWIDE Newfie , Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE GREAT SAVINGS outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with JOE ROCKET, SPEED & STRENGTH. TEKNIC, TOUR MASTER contempt. Is that understood?" The Newfie in Motorcycle Jackets, Pants, Gloves, Helmets, Rain Suits the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm NELSON RIGGS, TALISMAN MOTORCYCLE LUGGAGE TANK BIBS, SADDLEBAGS, TOOLBAGS sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that #$%^&e, and every time HARLEY-DAVIDSON, BATES, BOULET, I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.

ROADIRON, MARTINO BOOTS

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A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old CONTINUED ON PAGE 51

Red Devils M/C Annual Bike Show This year's Red Devils MC show and shine in support of the C.N.I.B. was huge, I had spent the morning working in the office to complete another issue of the mag before heading down to t h e house around noon for t h e show.

Good friend Nelly pulled u p beside me and r o d e down to t h e house, I h a d mention ed to him that he was a little late to get his loaded annivers a r y Decker entered into the s h o w when I

saw the flashing lights of a police cruiser at the corner ofArden and Beach Blvd.

Traffic came to a grinding halt and bikes were having a hard time getting around the corner, of course I was cursing the cops under my breath as we waited to roll down to the house. Much to my chagrin it was not the cops at all holding the show up it was the sheer volume of bikes trying to get parked on the side street. In 14 years of sponsoring this event I have never seen a turnout like this.

EMAIL FOR A FREE QUOTE jconnery@rogers.com Scarborough ON or John 1-800-305-1797 www.connerycustompaint.com

And it was a cooker, I doubt you could ask for a better day in fact it got so damn hot down there that before the awards got underway half the bikes belonging to the onlookers were gone as the shady areas under trees and tents were packed with people trying to get out of

the blistering sun with whispers of temperatures topping 35 degrees it was sweltering and they did start the awards early this day getting the bike awards underway around the 3pm hour.

So many friends, so many bikes entered in the event, so many other clubs showing up from all over the province and in some cases from the east coast coming in to show their support for an event that predates the mag and has seen significant growth over the last decade which has also been a tremendous benefit to the underlying beneficiary the Canadian National Institute for the Blind.

There were a couple of vendors who showed up for this event, with the ever present Lois manning the

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Red Devils M/C Annual Bike Show M i d U S A

tent and selling support gear and a few widgets of her own and helping support the club and cause selling some tickets. There was another gal this year selling some clothing, and of course those two had the shadiest spot under some trees with almost a slight breeze, standing in the sun was brutal it's a good thing I had my old bush hat with me cause my head got baked recently.

Ottawa, Ontario

They were also selling tickets on a few gems that had been donated by friends and sponsors of the event with a nicely finished Harley-Davidson Mantel topper, a pair of tickets for a Tiger cats Game, a Dynotunes voucher for tuning, and a nice lookin snap on tools jacket. I bought tickets on both draws and kicked in a twenty to the collection bucket for the cause.

I made my way from place to place taking shots and seeing friends, stopping to talk to some, others disappearing before I made it over, but then that's how it goes at this event. I always have a great time and look forward to this event each and every year as well as the annual poker run which I try my best to attend each year but that from time to time conflicts with family trips, or other stuff like weddings.

There were so many bikes that setting up the grill near the gate was out of the question so they set it up in the empty lot next door along with several classes of the bikes in the show, the lineup right from the start was quite long and the grill stayed busy all afternoon serving up burgers and I suspect they had to refill the enormous cooler full of soda and bottled water several times to keep up with demand, I know I was over there to grab a cold bottle of water, it's worth noting that all the food and beverages at the event are donated by sponsors.

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Red Devils M/C Annual Bike Show So Big Al stood up and called to everyone that they were getting on with the awards and thanks to all for showing their support for both the club and the event saying that they raised nearly $2000 for the C.N.I.B. and that the stellar weather had driven some of the participants away a little early but extended thanks to all who were there for the awards. This year they awarded etched glass plaques for the winners in the various categories of the show, when this was done they gave away a tremendous amount of other donated awards to all participants of the show so even if you didn't win an award you got some swag outta the deal, I'm not sure what all was included but I know that China King in Brantford had given some stuff to go along with their weekly bike nights.

The winners by letter class (sorry the paperwork they gave me didn't specify the classes just the letters denoting each class are as follows: Class A; 1st Dundas Bill; 2nd Donny; Class B; 1st Carp, 2nd Whitey; Class C; 1st Peggy, 2nd Alf; Class D; 1st Larry N, 2nd Giddy Up; Class E; 1st Al R, 2nd Mike W; Class F; 1st Allan M, 2nd Joe B; Class G; 1st Cory, 2nd Sam B; Class H 1st Rick H, 2nd Den N; Class I 1st Mark D, 2nd Dead Eye; Class J 1st Mark P, 2nd Dave M; Class K 1st Ian W, 2nd Warren; Class L 1st Adam A, 2nd Rob F; Class M 1st Laura F, 2nd Greg W; Peoples Choice, Darren Another Red Devils show in the books, poker run coming this September watch the mag for details and remember the show is the Sunday before father's day every year for many years now watch for it next year, it's always a good time.

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CRIMINAL RECORD? Is a criminal record limiting your career or travel opportunities?

YOU NEED A PARDON.

PARDON ME Confidential. Reasonable.

Please Call Denise @ (905) 866-4272

DANNI’S TIMES Rain, rain, go away, was our song this weekend.. On Friday here in the Eastern Region, the weather was excellent until 7pm and then the heavens opened up. When you are riding it really isn’t appreciated. It gets complicated, you need to decide to go home or stay out and walk around wet because the forecast never said one hint of rain. Even the 407 was blocked up, rain dancing on the bike’s windshield and all over you, was that a hint was what was approaching for Saturday?.. No, it doesn’t work like this here in Ontario does it.. There are no hints. .Just flash floods out of nowhere.

Stevie Ray Vaughan Cross Fire Lyrics Day by Day. Night after night Earlier in the day, I went to Western Town to set up the tent, because the sun is going to be strong on Saturday and we will need a little protection.

This is the real interesting time as you get to meet people before the party..

Mobile homes are being towed in, and some are already there.. The Town is already getting populated with the Bikers making themselves comfortable for the great day fast approaching.. They are staying in style..need to be comfortable if you are going to have a good time..

Blinded by the Neon lights June has not been a great friend to the The Smoke Out Event. It's been a touch and go situation these last couple of years.. All are hoping this will change this year..

Saturday morning arrives and there’s a slight chance of a shower in the morning but after lunch it's going to be great. The texts are coming in, everyone is leaving early to get the day in since it is not raining. Everyone is excited and all set up checking who is there, each year there is an increase of people, but the attendance of bikes are slightly down. The June

reputation must of circulated..

Hurry here..Hustlin’ there Games are starting, and this year, Brigitte Lacourciere is taking the plank race. and she did..

Stood proudly on the stage and received her trophy. Brigitte is a regular at these games and each season she comes so close to the trophy. This time, she made it look easy and that trophy belongs to her…

Caught in the cross fire...

The Australian gent parked his bike up on top and suddenly appeared with his trophy.. He comes annually but just does not get used to having a Show n Shine for free. Nice trophy. Still free things in life and are they ever appreciated when they arrive..to us all…

I am stranded Just as the games about to finish down came the first shower. hung around for 20 mins..Then the trophies and the smell of food had line ups, the second down pour appeared. What is this?..

The first band took the stage and promised that all foul weather would disappear..Caught in a Crossfire stage band who entertained us with Stevie Ray Vaughan tunes…

That helped us get into mood of enjoying the awesome tunes that carry the Smoke out to the dark hours of the night. Stan Mazda is at the mike making sure we all well looked after and gets the Twins who have their own band there, perform with the help of Stan.. These gents are not just pretty faces with great looking scoots they can sing.. That was it, the dancing began. the voices came alive and true to the legend of the famous Smoke Out , it was time to party…….Hip Kings followed with some great tunes to keep the legs

YEAH I’M TO FUCKIN LAZY TO PICK UP THE RIDERS MAG MAIL ME A YEARS WORTH FOR THE COST OF POSTAGE CANADA: $27.00 CDN, U.S.A.: $30.OO U.S.D. INTERNATIONAL: $60.00 CDN

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Page 52

DANNI’S TIMES a moving…

Won’t someone come and rescue me

Ride For The Moraine Sunday, July 8th, 2012 Zephyr Community Centre

I do have a great tale to tell. .My next door neighbor is just waiting for a time to challenge the roads of the Smoke Out with her 250 Ninja..It was her first time here. April, Keshia and Betty Mazda attended Riding classes together…This was a great reunion..

Save the strong, lose the weak

Durham Regional Roads 13 and 39 Registration: 9am - leaves at 10:30 am 15.00 per motorcycle returns to Zephyr for BBQ- $ 5.00 /person Contact: 905- 473-9523

I did not have a chance to attend the HHR Ride due to a death in our family.

Anvil lost his mother and I would like to take this chance to say, thanks for the condolences, the cards, the drop ins with coffee when we returned from Montreal.. That day we returned, we had 3 offers of places to stop and take a break.. This community is just a fabulous place and I want to remind you all how special you are..Again, Thank you very much..

The journey into Montreal was long , our time was consumed the next couple of days with times gone by and many memories.. The day of the funeral, as we pull into the Funeral home, the first vision was motorcycles and that just helped us deal with the day. Dar and Dave organized this and it was such a super touch. .One needs a touch of motorcycles everywhere you go.. Laughter was ok and everyone was so glad to see each other. The one problem.. Not a lot of Tim’s so the bikers had to drink the house coffee but we just enjoyed the great company who all took a day off to spend with some friends in time of a loss…..Thanks to Montreal also..

Never turning the other cheek I have checked out the Thurst-T’s Cycle ad in June’s 2nd page.. I have a brother who lives in Barrie and he attends this event yearly.. There’s a great

couple behind this event and it shows each year at such a success their event is.. Hard to believe it's been 5 years. This is really worth the ride...

There’s an ad in for an awesome ride in here for July 8th in Zephyr..Ride in Support of the Oak Ridges Moraine Land Trust. The Oak Ridges Moraine Land Trust is a grass roots registered charity supported mainly by Volunteers, including the Board of Directors..This non-Government organization has permanently protected over 3300 acres to date.. www.oakridgesmoraine.org Happy Birthday to KJ, Cheryl and especially to James in Montreal..

Ride Safe DANNI

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JOKE PAGE

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?"

At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within he congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline , stands up and proclaims, "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!". More sighs and loud applause. Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!". There is total silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady.

Whatever possessed you to say that?" Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, "Fuck him."

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asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors" "Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"

"Well, just one problem," said the golfer. "Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache

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THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 54

COVERED WHEN NOT IN USE. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?' ' 'Of course my child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?' 'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.' 'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.' When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to Declare from your waist to the floor?' 'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.' Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!

A man went to the doctor's office to ask for a triple dose of Viagra.The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a triple dose. 'Why not?' asked the man.'Because it's not safe,' replied the doctor. 'But I need it really bad,' said the man. 'Well, why do you need it so badly?' asked the doctor. The man said, 'My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-

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