2012-08 v14-n07

Sept.

RIDER’S MAG Oct. ‘12 The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

Vol.14 THE #7

FREE

Thurst T`s Riders With a Message

15th Annual Miles for Smiles What’s Shakin

Rocky’s Pork Dover

Feature Bike

Joke Page

We Support the Troops!!!

The rider’s guide to the Southern Ontario area www.theridersmag.com THE RIDER’S MAG

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WELCOME TO

THE

RIDER’S MAG

www.hipscycle.ca

900 Colborne St. East Brantford, Ontario

519-756-6218 Store Hours Mon-Fri 10am - 6pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

Welcome to our September/October issue. Yes that's right this is 2 months rolled into 1. There is still lots of events and good riding going on so get out there and have fun. Tell our advertisers that you seen their ad in your favorite newsprint, The Rider's Mag.

TABLEOFCONTENTS Fighting for your Rights (Scarry Larry states his case) On the Road (The publisher grinds his axe) Thurst T’s Cycle Support the Troops Event (A cool and rainy ride that ended beauty) What’s Shakin (Your Guide to up and Coming Events) Joke Page (Time to Bust a Gut) Cathys Country Kitchen Charity Event nd

Since 1988

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(Made the 2 after 1 was rained out) Lincoln County Show and Shine (Rose covers the Lincoln County Event) One Beautiful Pan (Our feature bike of the month) Bikers Church (Pastor Dave and motorcycles) Cruising with Critter (Critter recounts his travels in C.C.) Eagles Nest Miles for Smiles Ride (a small turnout on a rainy day) Rockys Pork Dover (Tim hangs out in London) Cargill Bike Bash (Manon takes her family for a ride) Mount Forest Legion Show & Shine (Critter checks out the event up North) Ladies and their Harleys (Lady number 5 of 2012) Danni’s Times (A Ladies Perspective)

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amsalestoronto.com

416.663.3382 THE RIDER’S MAG

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Fighting For Your Rights With Scary Larry My recent report - concerning the troubling trend of Law Enforcement to utilize pre-war Nazi information-gathering tactics – triggered a reaction that surpassed the boundaries of a free-society’s impact on its citizens’ right to enjoy an unencumbered life. My crew, Perfect Pigs M.C. recently hosted a Pig Roast which attracted the attention of both the BEU and Durham Region Police. The road block was carried out under the guise of a motorcycle safety blitz which was also labeled a “no tolerance’ event. What precisely is a “no tolerance” event, you ask?

Perhaps it was a ‘no tolerance’ for adult enjoyment or social interaction, Eh Ollie! Anyway I’m not quite sure, but I think it has to do with attempting to offset the ridiculous expenditure of public resources spent on hindering a peaceful BBQ - by attempting to issue as many tickets for perceived misdemeanor infractions in the hopes of recovering some of the public cash that was blatantly wasted during this fiasco. My unofficial census revealed that maybe $1000.00 in tickets were issued (of which many will be tossed upon court challenge) vs. approximately $50,000.00 spent on OPP and DRP personnel numbering in the twenties plus a command center .

Rounding out this ridiculous display of overkill was the presence of the K-9 unit plus many, many police vehicles tied up for the day (I’m talkin’ two shifts) plus three flyovers by the LE Air Farce. Mmm, wonder who was doin’ the real crime bustin’ that day? The majority of the tickets were for handlebar infractions of which, many were issued for stock handlebars.

(Talk about ambiguous LE interpretation of the current law, Eh Sue?) I have no doubt that the blitz was in retaliation for my previous FFYR article highlighting the insurgence of LE into legitimate biker charitable events aided by informants who sell-out their meager values for personal gain. Not so this day as the desired effect fizzled ‘cuz this was a clubber event and our colours don’t run. The roast was well attended and a smashing success!

My thanx to all of you who made it a great party . . . to the dogs of the establishment – fuchumang! If any of the readers digesting this sad tale are pissed-off taxpayers wondering why your tax dollars are being squandered on follies like this instead of fighting real crime. . . write your MPP or McGuinty and demand to know exactly who?? is authorizing this unchecked spewing of public funds! However, be very careful about vocalizing your distaste for this unnecessary intrusion into normal citizen activity lest your next family BBQ is targeted and your neighborhood is transformed into Checkpoint Charlie!

Other negative biker discrimination has surfaced recently regarding a high school teacher who conducted a class comparing the difference between biker clubs and cults. The subject matter was accompanied by a study sheet, complete with an unauthorized reprint of the trademarked logo of one of our member clubs. Did this teacher decide on her own to portray biker clubs as a cultist structure or was she coerced in some way? Conspirator theories abound - but it smacks of suggestive negative implanting to stimulate scorn for a segment of our society. Not too farfetched when you consider prior attempts by that particular Regional LE to hinder established local biker events. This tactic was also used successfully in Nazi Germany to subtlety cast dispersion on the Jewish race prior to WW11. Gives you pause to ponder, Eh Ollie? The OCC Political Action Committee has contacted the district’s school board and has been assured that steps will be taken to stifle this blatant act of discrimination against a visible minority.

The harness bull was obviously annoyed because I would not answer any of his feeble attempts at information gathering. His latest comment/question was - “Why are you wearing gang clothing?” My answer – “Did I break any laws to justify this intrusion into my schedule?” He retorted, “No, but maybe it’s guilt by association?” My comeback – “I seem to remember five detectives being charged with extortion for rippin’ off drug dealers; does that make you guilty by association?” He gave me the fisheye while handing back my paperwork and then the (now three) po-po stomped away in the direction of their respective four –wheeled light shows.

“Hey.” I called out to the Supervisor with the permanent tan. He turned, eyes glaring, “What?” . . . “At the end of the day, when you get home and look in the mirror; do you honestly think you made a difference by doing shit like this?” I questioned. Slightly different versions of this roadside interference

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have played out in my life on many, many occasions without any charges being laid – what a fucking waste of manpower and resources (never mind the many hours that I will never get back) that could otherwise be used in the fight to quell real criminal activity!

Perhaps if LE used as much zeal, or expended as much resources fighting street violence, as they do in the unbridled pursuit of controlling biker activity, they might actually prevent some of the current slaughter on the streets of Toronto. But, that would require diligence and crime fighting techniques far beyond the realm of “license, vehicle registration and insurance” and the latest, “I have the right to take your photograph”. My aversion to these unethical activities is well documented but a handful of us are not enough to thwart this ridiculous strategy of profiling, and persecuting, a minority segment of society. The Jews begged the world to intervene long before the holocaust – when will YOU use your political influence to intervene? Write your MPP and let him/her experience your distain for these unjustified practices. What else, you ask? Do not give any information at the side of the road other than your license and vehicle information or whether you have been drinking - if asked. Never volunteer any additional information! You are not required to answer any questions pertaining to your cut, affiliations etc. as this could provide cause to dig further. Challenge very B.S. ticket issued in court. And . . . if you are as outraged as the rest of us, join the Ontario Confederation of Clubs cuz numbers represent power and votes. Remember, you don’t have to be a clubber to join as an independent member of the OCC. www.occ4u.org Scary Larry OCC Treasurer

"To tell you the truth I've been doing this for 15 years and still don't know how to measure the height of the handlebars but it really doesn't matter I just write them up anyhow and if I feel like it I throw in a loud pipes, illegal helmet or I'll just make something else up!”

(519) 445-2275

Hwy.#54 Caledonia

Brantford

6th Line

N 5th Line

4th Line

p.gardens@hotmail.com

Chiefswood Rd.

Grand River 2158 Chiefswood Road

Ohsweken Town Center

Hwy #6

Hwy #6

On the Road

Last month i had a really long list of things to talk about, this month almost no list at all. I guess we did a better job of getting volunteers out to cover the various events this past month and we fell a little bit into backlog last month but nothing compared to previous years, i’m not sure if thats cause we haveth more writers or theres a few less events, a little of both i think. Friday the 13 falling in july took the edge off event planning for the whole month as history tells everyone that events before or following a thbig day in dover is often a bust although in many’s opinion this summers 13 was a disappointment.

always one of those so whatta ya do?

Since i mentioned Friday the 13th its no surprise that theres inevitably a few gals who either didn;t make it down to dover or were unable to find one of our representitives in town to earn their shirts and they are good enough to forward us pictures, ladies we owe you a shirt and although we don;t do much mailing anymore we will figure out a way to get a shirt down to each of you. Just so all you readers know these gals sent us more than one picture each but due to space constraints and backlog we can only publish one but odds are these might end up in the march 2013 anniversary issue.

As we wind down for another year and hit the bi monthly issues things will slow down a little and we can all maybe sit back and breathe, at least those of us who have the good sense not to get involved in too many things but then 14 years of slugging it out in the trenches with the mag has taught us to stay focused to complete work on time and without fail we have done so for fourteen years, lets just say its kept us honest, lifes a tough teacher and a hard grader too!

To the best of my knowledge we were unable to get someone out to the b.r.o. summerbash last month not only were there a tremendous number of events on that day but it was also production weekend so we weren;t able to get a volunteer out to their event hopefully we can catch future events but i know that the next event is on the most congested day of September the 15th, theres

Well i had Senior down to the Eye institute for some cataract surgery and hopefully we are nearing the end of the rebuilding process, the procedure is a little too recent as of this writing to know if it was a complete success but the prognosis is good so far so with any luck we have ourselves a newly rebuilt Senior, a bit of physiotherapy and a few other treatments and he should feel 10 years younger, not bad for a great grandfather.

I always look forward to the fall as its a chance to spend more time with family although after these years and as our family has grown adding our first grand child recently i have managed to find more time for them than i had previously. I am not sure if thats cause i work more efficiently or i just care less, its hard to say but i have always taken pride in the finished product and owned up to my fuck ups which have been many some costly some just embarrassing, oh well thats life.

Despite going to florida on my annual trip with the kids to Disney i am still looking forward to getting out and getting a few more miles on both of my bikes before the inevitable end to the riding season arrives and its time to break out the hats and gloves and maybe even shovel some snow? Hell i don;t think i’ve had to do that in a few years now but i have got alot of riding in this year and hope to get more so i will see you out there on the road.

YEAH I’M TO FUCKIN LAZY TO PICK UP THE RIDERS MAG MAIL ME A YEARS WORTH FOR THE COST OF POSTAGE CANADA: $27.00 CDN, U.S.A.: $30.OO U.S.D. INTERNATIONAL: $60.00 CDN

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P.O. BOX 80034 APPLEBY STATION, BURLINGTON, ONT L7L 6B1 THE RIDER’S MAG

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Thurst T’s 5th Annual Support the Troops Event I hadn’t been up to Thurst T’s for a few years, at least the last time i rode up that way they held the event in Wasaga Beach but it had since moved to a venue right in Collingwood and thats where i was headed to this day.

Google says its a 2 and a half hour ride from the shores of Lake Ontario to the shores of Georgian bay, make no mistake its a scenic ride once you get off the 407 and the 410 north on Dixie road to the traffic circle.

What surprised me was the cold weather i ran into around Caledon, low 70’s and high 60’s were a shock to the system after the broiling 90+ degree weather we have had this summer but it had alot to do with the storms that were all over the area and all around me on my t-shirted ride up to Collingwood this morning. Amazingly i stayed dry for the entire ride as i do

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not include those brief light showers that are not even worthwhile stopping to pull out the drover coat which is just downright hot and holds the wetness in.

The weather got clearer and warmer as i neared stayner and i started to see spots that i recognized from previous visits for this event and feature shoots. Getting to the Admirals Post Pub seemed simple enough on the google map i had printed out but when i stopped at a Tims for a cigar and to refer to my map having safely and dryly arriving in Collingwood i realized i had left my map on the table at home when I left.

CONT ON PAGE 10

Thurst T’s 5th Annual Support the Troops Event I started riding through town as my memory told me the spot was close to the water downtown in the general direction i was already travelling in but i could not remember street names, in short order i was across town on the west side not having seen anything that was gonna help me find this pub where the event was being held. While i sat at the light i saw a sign that said Mountain Road indicating the road i was travelling was changing names, well i know that Thurst T’s place was at 100 Mountain so i continued in that direction as i was nearly an hour ahead of schedule knowing i had already missed the ride and planned to attend the show and shine with all its vendors, food, drink etc.

I found the sign to the shop and was surprised to find the man himself on his ultra talking to a member of the local television media, he had taken the lady mayor on the back of his bike for the start of the ride and returned her to her office and returned to the shop, the ride was guided by the “Riders with a Message” group who were running the ride and much of the event in support of the always worthy cause the Wounded Warriors of Canada.

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When Thurst T had finished up his talk with the press he showed me the designs for the new shop he was moving to, saying when he moved to Collingwood he had planned to retire but found it difficult on his remaining money and said he only knew one thing before Canadas Worst Drivers and that was wrenching on bikes and running a bike shop, his lovely wife Wendy is really into the leathers and they started up Thurst T’s Cycle and Leathers and since he was going full tilt the shop they were in was temporary and were moving to a larger more perminent location later this year.

I told him i couldn;t find the pub if my life depended on it (at least not without the help of my google maps application in my phone which is always my last best resort) and with everything packed up at the shop they were ready to move over to the pub for the show and shine, silent auction, live bands and an always awesome leather show compliments of Wendy and her bevy of models which includes her daughter.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

WHAT’S SHAKIN WEEKLY EVENTS EVERY MONDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast and pound and pint night (905)6793778 EVERY TUESDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has Karaoke (905)679-3778 Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has Jazz Band from 1-5pm (905)5478989 Albion Hotel at 1Main St Bayfield 11:30ammidnight food and refreshment specials (519)565-2641

WE ONLY BUY WHAT WE CAN’T BUILD Time to book shop time and make that dream machine come true for next season, Limited Space Avaliable

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www.martinscustommotorcycles.com Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast (905)6793778 The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has live entertainment at 9pm (905)529-0271 EVERY SATURDAY Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has cheap drinks (905)547-8989 Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast and Karaoke (905)679-3778 The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has live CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

Loretto Tavern 7994 County Rd 1 and Hwy 50 is having their Bike Night (905)729-2215 EVERY WEDNESDAY Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has cheap drinks (905)547-8989 Frankie's Bar & Grill in Mount Hope is has ALL DAY breakfast and mixed pool league for more info please call (905)679-3778

ACROSSTHE ROADS Fall Poker Run AC R T

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EVERY THURSDAY Frankie's in Mount Hope has their ALL DAY breakfast (905)679-3778 Clare's Harley Davidson at 590 York Rd. N.O.T.L. is having their Lucky 13 Cruise Night (905)684-4647 China King 1320 Colborne St. East in Brantford has Bike Night (519)752-6389 EVERY FRIDAY

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JOKE PAGE

a As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's behind: 1. If walking and cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is still fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. But a tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me!

Women always say that giving birth is way more painful for them, than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Here is proof that they are wrong.

A year or two after giving birth, some women will say, "It would be nice to have another baby."

No matter how long after, you'll never hear a guy say, "I would like another kick in the nuts."

A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whiskey in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore!... He is!"

A lad comes home from school and all excited with news for his dad. "I got a part in the school play!" he said. "Oh yeah?" said his father. "What are you playing?" "I play a man who's been married for 25 years." The dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says, “That's okay son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".

Jennifer, a manager at a big box store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of

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them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?' The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head.

There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man. 'Hmmm..let me see 'A blink ! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened... A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.' 'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. 'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yup, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.' Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to Louie, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question. Old Louie replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.' 'WHAT!?' asked Jennifer, stunned by the response... 'Oh sure', said Louie. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK , BLINK , or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already crapped my pants.'

Louie is now the new greeter at a store near you!

A sweet grandmother telephoned the hospital and timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help dear, what's her name and room number?" The woman said, "Norma Findlay, room 302." A few minutes later the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news, the nurse just told me Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me crap around here."

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes. By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asked Mike. "I'm a divorce lawyer."

Tom the Mailman was retiring and was on his last route. He went up to his last house on his route and a beautiful blond-haired woman answered the door in her negligee. She took him by the hand and escorted him into the dining room where she served him breakfast. When he was done eating she then escorted him upstairs and made love to him. After they were done and got dressed again, she walked him back to the door and handed him a dollar. Baffled and confused, he asked her what that was all about. She smiled and said that she was talking to her husband last night and said that they should do something nice for a going away treat. He told her "Screw him! Give him a dollar...." "But the breakfast was my idea!" She proudly claimed!

A friend hosted a dinner party for family far and wide and everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well. All during the sit-down dinner one four-year-old girl stared at the uncle sitting across from her.

The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. The uncle checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him. He finally asked her "Why are you staring at me?"

JOKE PAGE

Deaf Sex Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips. After several

LIVE BANDS EVERY FRIDAY

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ANKIE ’S

Can you believe it?

They sent my income tax return form back to me!

In response to question # 4, "Do you have any dependants?" I replied "2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack heads, 4.4 million unemployable people, 901 thousand people in over 85 prisons, and 650 idiots in Parliament.

Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

Who the hell did I miss?

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A NUN AT HOOTERS - This is clean and cute. A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.' Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf. ''Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?''Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?''No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun. 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?“ Turtle

25% of women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's bloody scary...it means 75% are running around with no medication at all!! CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

A N I E’ K

S

Whilst having a drink with my friend at the bar, we noticed a rather attractive woman sitting alone. After an hour of gathering his courage, my friend walked up to her and asked “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” “No, I will not come over to your place tonight!” she replied rather loudly. With everyone staring at him, my friend came back and sat down, puzzled and humiliated. A half hour later the woman came over to our table. “Please forgive me for that,” she said. “I’m a psychologist studying people’s responses to embarrassing situations.” My friend responded by yelling, “what do you mean, two hundred dollars!?”

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Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!" "Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole! "Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?!"

nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. She writes a note to her husband: 'Honey, Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze Store Hours: my left breast one time.

Mon. - Fri. : 10:00 - 6:00 If you don't want to Saturday: 10:00 - 3:00 have sex, reach over Closed: Sunday and squeeze my right breast two times. The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife That if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.

!F

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response. The little girl said "I just want to see how you drink like a fish."

2965 Homestead Drive - Mount Hope

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WHAT’S SHAKIN entertainment Matinees 3pm-7pm (905)529-0271 Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton has Free Pool and cheap drinks (905)547-8989

Biker TV is on at 11am on CTV TWO

Biker TV is on at 11am on CTV TWO Trucker Television is on at 11:30am on CTV TWO

Trucker Television is on at 11:30am on CTV TWO EVERY SUNDAY Frankie's Bar and Grill in Mount Hope has ALL DAY breakfast (905)6793778

MONTHLY EVENTS AUG 24th-25th The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Amy Churm & indiana road playing (905)529-0271

Live Entertainment every Friday and Saturday

The

AUG 25th Clare's Harley Davidson Niagara 590 York Road Niagara on the Lake is having Test Our Metal Harley Davidson test ride 10am-3pm for more info please call (905)684-4647

AUG 26th Critter Country Show and Shine in support of Alzheimer Society 400 Market Innisfil, Ont. 10am5pm (905)251-2359 Freedom Ride to end MS for more info please visit www.freedomridetoendms.com AUG 31st-SEPT 1st The Galley Pump Tavern 365 Wentworth Street North Hamilton has Bullitt playing (905)529-0271 SEPT 8th-9th Old Bastards Vintage Motorcycle Club is having the 11th Vintage Bike Rally in Delta Ont. swap meet camping cabins bike show and much more for more info please call (613)928-2881

Galley Pump Tavern

365 Wentworth Street North hamilton, ontario 905-529-0271

BEST BEEF IN HAMILTON THE RIDER’S MAG

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SEPT 8th Welland County M.C. The Last Great Night of Balls to the Walls Motorcycle racing at the Niagara Motorcycle Raceway 603 Netherby Road Welland for more info please call (905)734-7058 Western Town Smokeout 370 Uxbridge Pickering Town Line just N. of Claremont off Brock Rd. 1st left past RR tracks for more info please call (905)294-4745 Clare's in Fenwick is having Demo Rides 10am2pm for more info please call (905)892-2664 LUNG TRANSPLANT POKER RUN REGISTRATION AT JOE DOG'S GASBAR GRILL 10 Main St. W Grimsby $25.00per rider -- $10.00 CONTINUED ON PAGE 18

Thurst T’s 5th Annual Support the Troops Event Thurst T said that the weather had really hurt the ride portion of the event saying that they only had about 250 bikes for the ride this year down from nearly 450 last year, and the ride was further complicated when terrible weather including hale broke out on the ride while crossing a causeway on a small lake and a military vehicle leading the ride was involved in an accident. There were no injuries to the best of my knowledge and no bikes went down but the adverse weather had an extremely adverse effect on the riders coming to the event although i understand that a large number rode their bikes home changed their clothes and came to the event.

When i arrived with Thurst T it was cloudy but warm and not raining, the first guy i saw was Gord from Black Gold leather with a large booth display with some of his best stuff out for sale and a sign indicating 10% of all sales to the

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Wounded Warriors fund, over the course of the afternoon it rained off and on and teemed for some time and his crew was ready for each rain with tarps to cover all the t-shirts and product that was exposed to the inclement weather.

We arrived ahead of the ride itself which i am told on a good weather day is a scenic ride of the Blue Mountain region lead by the military so volunteers at the gates moved the barricades as we rode through replacing them when we had passed, most parking along the street had been marked off with orange cones for bikes as well as the adjoining parking lot, this place could easily accommodate 200 plus bikes in the show and shine area another hundred and a half on the back side and a hundred or so more along the street so this place would rock.

Thurst T’s 5th Annual Support the Troops Event In addition to Black Gold, and Thurst T;s along the one side of the show area there was a semi trailer that had been converted into a stage with the side opening up like an awning which ended up being great for the storms as they blew through over the afternoon, beyond the stage on the other side of the lot were an array of local vendors ranging from martial arts schools to hot tub vendors but by far the most impressive display was the Canadian Military hardware which included a 50 caliber machine gun along with a smaller caliber model both on tripods, both crew served weapons followed up with individual weapons displayed on table which included a rifle, a rifle with a grenade launcher, a small caliber machine gun and a rocket propelled grenade launcher, all arrayed around a olive drab chevy pick up.

The whole backside of the event, that closest to the bar was an array of over 100 lots up for silent auction ranging from golf outings and ski outings valued in the range of several hundred to five hundred dollars and a whole

lot of really interesting stuff that you could pick up and carry away with you from t-shirts to hockey jerseys, metal biker art, memorabilia, oil changes, helmets, gloves and quite a bit of golf gear including alot of calloway bags, balls, shirts and hats. Remember this is Collingwood whose claim to fame beside being a great spot to ride the pine forests is also a well known ski area, and most have added golf courses and of course a mecca for boating as well if you can afford the gas.

There was a decent turn out for the show and shine event and the riders with a message in conjunction with the pub were offering a variety of biker style food including peameal on a bun, pulled pork slathered with custom barbeque sauce, burgers, dogs and if you just had to have pub fare wings seemed to be a big seller during the day especially when the rain drove everyone for cover and this place had a large covered outdoor patio and really large umberellas over their tables beyond that.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 20

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WHAT’S SHAKIN per passenger For more info call (905)957-3815 nd

Kitchener Harley-Davidson 2 Annual Endless Summer Bash. Live Music, Roast Pork. Motorclothes Sidewalk Sale, Beverage Tent, Swag Giveaways, 12noon – 6pm SEPT 14th Ride of the Flags leaves Clare's in Fenwick at 6pm for more info please call (905)892-2664

Sept 15th Fabulous Fenwick Lions Biketoberfest 10th Anniversary at the Lions Park in Fenwick for more info please call (905)892-6004 Red Devils MC Hamilton Poker Run registration is 9:30am-11am at 30 Arden Ave in Hamilton Ride with the Red and White Poker Run and Show and Shine ride starts at the downtown C.H. at NOON camping ground prizes and much more no glass no kids no dogs for more info please call (416)503-4513 RnR at 108 Beaumont Cres. in Guelph is having their Customer Appreciation day and Open House 9am-3pm give aways food and more for more info please call (519)821-8666 B.R.O. Niagara Food Drive and Scavenger Run registration is at The Husky Truck Stop in St. Catherines 10am-noon non-perishable food or cash donation BBQ and live entertainment to follow at the Bash site 330 Young Rd. Welland for more info please call (905)714-9808 or (289) 696-5239 SEPT 16th Drago's Memorial Motorcycle Ride Sign Up 9:30 – 10:30am The Khaki club 2939 Nafziger Rd. Cost: $20 per person (Receive a keepsake of the run while quantities last) “PROCEEDS TO GRAND RIVER CANCER CENTRE” Contact Dave 519-894-5913 for Information nd

SEPT 22 Across The Roads at 1123 Main St. E. in Hamilton is having their Annual Fall Poker Run registration is 11am-1pm ride leaves 1pm SHARP for more info please call (905)547-8989 SEPT 30th Critter Country Show and Shine in support of Alzheimer Society 10am5pm at Black Gold 1228 Gorham St. Unit 2 Newmarket, Ont. 10am-5pm (416)804-2292 Blackhawks M.C. 9th Annual Show and Shine 1pm-4pm at Frankie's in Mount Hope

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SERVICE TO ALL MAKES AND MODELS Still the lowest labour rate in the city

SPRING FLUID SPECIAL! $189.95 REGULAR, $239.95 SYNTHETIC th OIL FILTER, UP TO 4L OIL, INCLUDES: LABOUR, CHROME 7 Proceeds to benefit Sick + Kids Foundation INSPECTION. TRANNY & PRIMARY FLUID 5-POINT

Sales & Service Vintage Motorcycle Specialists including European Models

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Thurst T’s 5th Annual Support the Troops Event A particular old Indian scout caught my attention and i was glad to learn that it belonged to an old acquaintance from the early days of the mag, it was painfully original and i shamelessly implored him to put the bike on our vintage list as its tough to find these old original bikes and i know this guy has a story that i wanna both hear and write, and his gal has a sharp looking sporty thats goin on our ladies list, youse two know who you are and i am waiting for your email.

Gratefully the weather cleared up and it turned into a gorgeous hot almost muggy day and it was time for Wendy to put on her legendary leather show, the outfits were hot, the models were hot, the music was hot and of course i took a million pictures of the gals struttin their stuff on stage getting caught up in the music and action of the show. Unfortunately we are only able to give you a small sampling of the photos from this fantastic display of sensuality so i suggest to get the full treatment you show up for the event next year and see for yourself, i only wonder why Wendy herself doesn;t put on some of that hot leather and get up there with her daughter who was one of the models and also the trophy girl for the show and shine awards.

The winners list for the show and shine was provided to me only in the form of numbers with the classes so all of you who attended the event know who you are and i did get pics of all the awards although we can only bring you a few pics due to space constraints, having said that the classes and winners are as follows: North American Touring,1st A12, 2nd A20; Radical Custom, 1st B15, 2nd B11; North American Cruiser, 1st C10, 2nd C13; European, 1st D25;

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Metric Cruiser, 1st E19, 2nd E9; Sport, 1st G26, 2nd G2; Vintage, 1st H27, 2nd H14.

Thurst T’s Cycle, and Riders with a Message, have been supporting Canadian Troops and their families and the Wounded Warriors Fund for 5 years now and this event has grown signifigantly and has the support of the entire community of Collingwood. The Mayor of Collingwood Sandra Cooper rode on the back of Thurst T’s bike and also spoke at the event as well as at least on town counciler. I also got to meet Inspector John Trude of the O.P.P. for the Collingwood detachment, he seemed like a decent guy and his son was also a Canadian Forces Service Member and Veteran who also played a mean country and western guitar. I was told by more than one rider he was a decent guy, too bad there wasn;t more like that.

I requested follow up info on people to thank as well as financial results of the event, presumably no information was avalaible at the time of this writing but i can say that with that silent auction and all the cool stuff they had to auction off as well as the event shirts which the models came out and sold after the leather show (and they moved them very well for $20 donation) this event did well and raised a bunch of money for the underlying cause, i’m not sure about the guy who jumped in the hot tub, whether he raised any money or not but all the folks from riders with a message enjoyed it. Congrats to all of you for a well organized and executed event, much success for many years to come.

Cathys Country Kitchen Charity Event Cathy and Cam of Cathy’s Country Kitchen decided that they wanted to do a charitable event in support of a local family who was less fortunate than others. I got the call to change up the ad for an event in June, they planned it knowing that there was going to be a great deal of construction in front of the restaurant this summer as our useless government and their lack of wisdom decided that peters corners was the perfect spot for another of their messed up traffic circles.

The original dates came with an in stone rain date of June 21st in the event of bad weather, I was off to Ottawa that week with my kids for their class field trip or at least that was the plan until my best brothers dad passed away, so Cathy knew I couldn’t make the original date. They did have quite a good turnout despite the black clouds in the sky, threatening lightening, amongst other things.

So Cathy gave the office a call to say the event had been re-scheduled to the rain date and asked if I could show up. I was getting ready for a long ride to Windsor the next day and had some errands to run that worked out rather well with a visit to one of my favorite spots to have lunch when I’m out that way.

So I took a ride in early on the Thursday arriving just as the band was setting up for the night I dropped off a couple bundles of mags and headed out on an errand to Kitchener which was a 30 minute ride or so from the restaurant. Well by the time I rode up there, and back it was going on 7:30 or so and although I can’t say the place was packed there was an impressive turnout in the parking lot and lots of local friends that I see out at various events in the area.

Cathy and Cam posed with their souped up Harley Decker and their two daughters also posed with the bike, there was a selection of vintage cars and trucks that turned up as well and although the band had pretty much had it with playing in the heat of the evening they had put a special menu on for the event. You need to understand that Cathy's is not open for dinner, they make their dough serving breakfast and lunch and close at 3pm most days.

The food was just as fantastic as the couple of lunches I

L9H 5E1

have had there over the past several months as I had previously mentioned when I am out Cambridge or Brantford way it's an awesome spot to stop for lunch they always have a great lunch special with very generous portions. Getting back to the event not only was the food fantastic but the restaurant was as packed as any lunch crowd I had seen with only one or two empty tables, pulled pork on a bun, yum.

In conversation with Cathy on additional events she says that she can’t really do anything else until the new traffic circle in front of her place is finished as riding through gravel ranks up there as one of the least popular things bikers have to ride through, too bad the foods great. They didn’t give me any numbers as to total attendance or donations to a worthy family in need but I suspect they will get me that info in good time and when they do I will give it a mention in a future on the road column.

We are open at 2235 Industrial st.–

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www.stoneycreekchoppers.ca THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 21

JOKE PAGE Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart.

Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied: "Great!, I love spaghetti! "Billy Bob asked Bubba "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?" Not so good," replied Bubba, "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper

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was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few drinks. I noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are You two ladies from Scotland ?" One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are You two whales from Scotland ?" That's the last thing I remember. Woke up in the hospital the next day. Women are so difficult to deal with !“Turtle” While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.

The Rider’s Mag P.O. Box 80034 Appleby Station Burlington, Ont. L7L 6B1 Phone: (905) 631-5890 Toll Free 1-877-631-5890 Fax: (905) 333-0213 Email: theridersmag@gmail.com Website: www.theridersmag.com Webmaster: Cyberbiker Publisher: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor in Chief : J.B. Ballantine X-Computer Geek : Robert Edgington Eastern Ontario/Western Quebec Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 G.T.A. North Rep: Rick Davis 905-853-1163 Southwestern Ontario: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 For Advertising Information or Rate Card Please Contact The Publisher, Editor or Sales Reps Contributing Writers : Pastor Dave Neals, Tim Armstrong, Rick Davis, Danni, Manon Kellman, Rose, Scarry Larry.

Contributing Cartoonist: Critter Contributing Babysitters: Grandma Vickie, Grandma MacRae, Grandma Ballantine, Glady Printed By : Canweb Printing Inc. Grimsby, Ontario Printed in Canada The contents of this magazine are copyrighted and remain the property of “The Rider’s Mag”

A newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. " When the newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!

"Why, that's amazing", the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The newfie nodded. "I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I taut I were going to drop dead on dat 'tird day.." "From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from the fuckin' skippin'. " Paddy and Mick worked together in St. John's and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties and thongs." The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labor, he gave him $80 a week unemployment pay. Mick was next and when asked his occupation replied, "Diesel fitter." Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick $160 a week. When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty Stitchers are unskilled and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Paddy.

"I sew the elastic on the panties and the thongs. Mick puts them over his head and says: "Yep, diesel fitter!"

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What in the world is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?' She replied with a snicker, 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. 'I'm too young to die,' she wails. Then she yells, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth To be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?' For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, eyes riveted, at this desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a cowboy from Australia stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one Button at a time. No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest. She gasps. He whispers . . ..'Iron this. Then get me a beer' A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the CONTINUED ON PAGE 42

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Lincoln County Motorcycle Club’s Show and Shine

by Rose After a week of record breaking temperatures, a thunderstorm was bound to happen. A cold front moved in on Saturday morning, the sky got black, lightning bolts were lighting up the sky and then the rain came….we need the rain but that combination of Mother Nature’s power is not a good recipe for a show and shine. I rode in at high noon and only 7 bikes were entered but the skies were clear, the temperature dropped and it was a perfect afternoon to meet old and new friends. Lincoln County is celebrating its 45th anniversary this year and you can tell by the way they were set up that they had years of experience at doing show & shines. Their property was well organized with all the members’ bikes set off to the side and tents placed strategically for a smooth flow of bikes and people. For ten dollars, you can park your bike and enjoy the day or you can enter your bike and get a large patch and another smaller patch with the current year. Great value and beautiful venue.

At 1:00, about 25 bikes were entered in the 13 different bike classes. Bernie explained that they had to change the categories because at one time they could use the front wheel size; but now Harley Davidson makes so many model combinations that they had to change with the times. They had 13 classes with 3rd, 2nd and 1st place trophies and of course a large trophy for People’s Choice. LCMC bought a couple of new tents, one for the door prizes & announcer’s table and one for the BBQ area. The deals were good. Tickets a buck each and almost everything was $3…..the flies were free. They gave away door prizes all afternoon and raffled off the HD clock. Congratulations to Harry C. who was there with Diane selling tickets on the Fabulous Fenwick Lion’s Club 2012 CVO Street Glide raffle. If you don’t have a ticket, you better get one soon. They are going fast and the draw is at Biketoberfest on September 15th.

A good representation of the local bike clubs was present. Brothers’ Keeper, the Iron Riders from Hamilton, B.R.O., Niagara HOG and many Independents make it an annual tradition to come to this event. John and Donna Clare came in just before the presentations. I think John was taking Donna out for Saturday night dinner because they ordered food and wondered around saying “Hello” to the little people.

Three o’clock was cut off time to enter the Show and Shine and 53 bikes were entered. I spoke to Don, the President, and he said their numbers were down but that was expected with the morning storm. Some people are fair weather riders, especially if you have a custom machine that is all polished and ready for the show. All the classes were well laid out, identifying the category and the sponsor. In some classes, there were only 2 or 3 bikes, so odds of winning a trophy were pretty good. Bernie was the MC and had two ladies helping him with the trophies. He made on-going comments with most of the trophy winners. Bernie made a point of asking how Fergie’s Decker could be classified stock when he has all the possible

Add-Ons and chrome available….he even threatened to tell his wife how much Fergie has tied into his ride. Even with 40 trophies to hand out, the trophy presentation went very quickly and the show was wrapped up by 5:00.

Well organized, well done.

The 50/50 prize was $285. Art E. won the money and also won 1st prize in the Special Interest Category with his blue trike. I wondered why Sully didn’t win in that category with his outstanding orange trike chopper….but then I gave my head a shake…..Sully won Best in Show…way to go Daniel! Ask him sometime to tell you the story of the trike’s rear end…..it’s a two beer tale .And the winners are:Special Interest: 1st, Art E., 2nd Jim R., 3rd John R.: Antique, 1st Randy M. 2nd Craig F., 3rd Mark H.; S. Sportster/Dyna, 1st Lisa T. 2nd Blake K. 3rd Cindy T.; C. Sportster/Dyna, 1st Terry Y. 2nd Kathy P.; Stock Softail, 1st Randy E., 2nd Heather M., 3rd Dan S.; Custom Softail, 1st Ian B., 2nd Bob H. 3rd Terry H.; Stock Road King, 1st Ice J. 2nd Colin M., 3rd Jim T.; Custom Rd. King, 1st Biff C.; Stock Decker, 1st Fergie 1. 2nd Bear C. , 3rd Dave W.; Custom Decker, 1st Gord B. 2nd Mark M. 3rd Ken B.; CVO Cruiser, 1st Luch C. 2nd Vince C.; CVO Touring, 1st Tall D., 2nd Gaston L., 3rd Rick F.; Radical, Wendy P.; Best in Show. Sully Hope to see you next year at LCMC’s Show and Shine. Go well…R

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One Beautiful Pan

Thnis months feature guy is Russell and i gotta tell ya this in one beautiful panhead and it was restored with love and care. Russell was fortunate enough to get his hands on this bike because his dad Rusty picked it up in a distress sale and swung it off to his son, man talk about lucky.

Russell says he’s had a few metric bikes when he started riding and i got the impression that his family having a history of fixing and riding Harleys weren;t too keen on his first four metric bikes but Russell was working in a variety of places and had the opportunity to pick up odds and ends all over the place saying that they really wanted me to get into a Harley so i

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worked on some stuff that came my way and made a little money on each project or kept trading up.

He had a Bike that was a fire recovery job and he was able to get some salvageable parts out of it and make them work like new and sell them off for a tidy profit and move on to the next trade. Eventually he ended up with a 49 wishbone frame and an early generator shovel engine and he did alot of modifying to make the engine fit into the knuckle frame and collected an assortment of spare parts when a friend of his dads stepped up and wanted the parts to b u i l d something that he had been wanting and thought that it was a good starting point.

Then he was able to pick up a salvageable evolution frame mid

One Beautiful Pan hour after returning hime the coil overheated and fried the battery and he had to call home for a tow for the bike to get it to the shop for repairs.

It was with this background and this family that he was able to luck into this gorgeous 1949 Panhead and since the builder was a friend of Rustys we were able to get alot of details on the history of the bike before it fell into Russells hands. The bike was purchased about 20 years ago as a basket case with most of the parts sprayed flat black, which included rocker boxes, oil tank, primary cover, and pipes.

He put the bike together bit by bit sorting through the boxes looking for the various parts and when he got stuck on a part then the search would go out to his friends and swappers to locate the particular pieces required and in some cases he fabricated the pieces himself it that was an option. Eventually the bike came

90’s and a rebuildable late 90’s engine and when he got the engine rebuilt he had a couple of good pieces and basis for a bike. Thats when his dad Rusty stepped up along with some of his friends and they gave him some parts that he needed to finish off his bike.

Giving him a 3” open belt primary and a late model 4 speed shovel transmission, with many other donations and purchases and alot of work he managed to coble together a late model softail frame and engine with a kick only 4 speed transmission. Well with the help of family he was finally on the road with his own Harley-Davidson motorcycle and he says that it was great to get onto the road and breakdowns although they were frequent with a family full of mechanics getting the bike fixed and on the road was never a huge issue.

He recalled having to change the gear set in the transmission before a Friday the 13th and spent the entire night after finally getting the parts he needed getting the gears in and the bike fixed and with everyone hanging around waiting on him to take off for port dover he jumped on the bike and rode without so much as a test ride to make sure everything was up to specs and they made it there and back without a breakdown although he did say an

together as a rideable unit and was ridden for a couple of years and it was decided that it should be torn down and rebuilt from the bottom up rebuilding engine transmission and all parts along with gold plating.

So many years were spent after rebuilding the engine and transmission with all new internal parts using S & S replacement parts where ever replacement parts were required. He says much of the chrome that is on the bike existed either as original or was plated by previous owners before everything being painted over in flat black, then he was working for a while at a small plating company and those pieces that needed plating were done there in either nickel or gold.

He says that old friend of the mag Tattoo was instrutmental in helping him get some of the parts he needed in this build coming from his personal collection, and also Iggy from Power Cycle who had some of the stuff that was ultimately used in the completion of this bike which was worked on over a span of about 12 years until its sale was forced upon the original builder due to financial misfortune.

Which makes Russell the incredibly lucky guy he is to essentially be in the right place at the right time to end up owning a bike this mint and this vintage because his dad knew the guy who needed to unload it quick and he ended up with a piece of history

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Biker Church with Pastor Dave Neals

One Beautiful Pan Owner: Russell City: Windsor, ON General Year & Make: 1949 Model: EL Assembly by: Owner Time: 12 years Engine Year: 1949 Model: EL Builder: H-D ReBuilder: Owner Displacement: 74” Lower end: S & S Pistons: Wiseco Rods: S & S Flywheels: S & S Balancing: S & S Cylinders: 74” Cases: H-D Heads: H-D Valves: Cycle Shack Cam: B Grind Lifters: Hydralic Ignition: Mag Coils/Wires: None Carb: S. V. Air Cleaner: Home made Pipes: Cycle Shack Transmission Year: 1949 Type: 4 Speed Shifting: Foot Primary Drive: Belt Drive Case: H-D Painting Type: Base Clear Colour: Pearl White Special Paint: Purple Striping Painter: Owner

Year: 1949 Type: Wishbone Stretch: none Rake: H-D Swing Arm: None Rear Suspension: Hardail Accessories Handlebars: Drag Risers: 6” Controls: Billet Seat: Paucho Tailight: Tombstone Oil Tank: Yes Gas Tank: 3-1/2 gallon Front Pegs: Billet Rear Pegs: Aftermarket Foot Controls: Forward Grips: Rubber Mirrors:: no Headlight: Bates Speedometer: Cat Eye Primary Cover: Tin Front End Type: Hydra Glide Year: 1949 Builder: H-D Extension: None Wheels Front Size: 19” Type: Invader Tire: Avon Brake: Drum Fender: Fat Bob Rear Size: 16” Type: Invader Tire: Avon Brakes: Drum Fender: Fat Bob

Frame Builder: H-D

Model: Tonya

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Have you ever notices how quickly people are to anger. How many times do our friends get something under their saddle that aerates them to no end? Things that many would not think twice and others hold that grudge forever. The greatest problem I see is politics in groups; they can undermine and literally destroy friendship, clubs, families etc. Pride can also cause division, what about those one sided opinions, and what about our own stupid thinking.

How many times are the simplest statements put out for discussion only to find things to be totally turned around with a totally different opinion? We seem to have a reputation for misunderstandings, disagreements, dissention and division.

To explore this lets use two friends John and Paul who were two close friends, did many things together, were leaders is a club, always played Gold every Friday, both rode Harleys and would do anything for each other. Their holidays were spent together either travelling the roads on their bikes or doing things together almost inseparable. They were even partners in a large business. But there was one growing tension that grew and grew over the years. On their legal papers of partnership John name was first and then there was Paul’s. John was in charge of the Leadership Team, a respected position throughout the company. Paul he lead the production dept of their great product. They were invited to participate as leaders in their business to share their success at a world conference, John was introduced as the Leader of the company and Paul in charge of the work force that made John’s business such a success. While John gave a great talk on the success of the company Paul became very irritated and when it became his turn he literally walked out of the hall in a fit of rage. That little mistake led the two of them splitting and company closing. The mistake was taken care of but Paul was only the leader of production while his equal partner was the leader of the company.

For many years afterwards they did not talk, Paul moved to the other side of town, refused all correspondence and started a company of his own building Bikes and became a successful business. His old partner John opened a rod shop and also became a proment figure in the community. Both these men attended a men’s meeting where an old biker spoke. He spoke about forgiveness that day and had an immediate effect on John and Paul. So much today they know own the largest Custom Motorcycle and Rod Shop in North America and are well known for each and every product they put out the door.

If we want to avoid angry arguments we need to learn to admit our feelings and talk about them Another we need to allow difference of opinion We must be quick to forgive You see God is in control but God gives us the option of what to do. Satan tries to influence us causing conflict and interruption. God could have changed the circumstances somehow to circumvent the conflict, but he permitted it, and He did what He always does for those who love him. He worked it out for the good.

For one thing it became a growing experience for the people involved and probably one of the most obvious and important results Paul’s life was salvaged for God’s Goodness. We need to love one another even though we differ, to avoid judging other peoples motives, to be tolerant of one another’s differing opinions and to forgive one another quickly when old sin natures do hurtful things. Then marriages will be healed, friendships restored, feuding friends reconciled, and strengthened.

Pastor Dave daveneals@bikerschurch.com

For Your Personal Needs:

Biker, Formal and Non Formal Weddings Childrens Dedications & Baptisms Funerals and Committal Services Contact Rev. David Neals david.neals@nexicom.net

Serving Southern Ontario

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) Wow. I can't believe what I just typed!

Sept. - Oct.!

WTF? How can that be?

Summer just started didn't it?

Well that's the way it goes when you're having fun.

The past month got screwed up a bit for me when I came down with kidney infection that had me in its grips for over a week but the pharmaceutical companies and my Doctors got me back to as near normal as can be expected.

Then I gave my ankle a nasty twist and am once again limping around like an old cripple.

Other than that, things are doing fine.

The Riders Nights The Big Daddy's have been plagued with problems lately mostly to do with the construction on Davis Drive screwing up traffic flow, ruining the parking lot and seriously holding up any patio plans for this season. But crappy weather has played its hand on several occasions as well.

Ah well, we rode it out but we’ve decided to pull the plug on them.

My August 26th Show and Shine at The 400 Market is still on and we really doing our best to give you the best event possible.

The band is booked, trophies ordered and our crew is ready to rock and roll but we are still having some issues with the outside beer garden.

The 400 Market has been great to work with and the space is fantastic and I will look forward to doing other events there in the future but I need to change things up a bit and I will be moving the event scheduled for The 400 Market on September 30th to Black Gold Canada at 1228 Gorham St. Newmarket, and combine our forces with Gord and his crew to create what we hope will be an awesome event that will be more

in keeping with the 1st one I did four years ago, and keep it closer to home for me as things are about to start to get a whole lot busier for me and I need to condense some things.

There will be space for other vendors as well.

Tom’s Restaurant and Bar directly across the road from Black Gold is big enough to handle the business and while they usually close early on Sundays after their usual breakfast crowd is done, has agreed to stay open and will provide the food and refreshments with a special Show and Shine menu that will make you happy at prices that will make you smile and he serves a great breakfast for those who like to get out early.

There is plenty of parking right on Gorham St. We have a fantastic, high energy; bands booked to play some good solid Rock N Roll for you and hope to add a few more things to make it even CONTINUED ON PAGE 30

Are you or your club looking at an effective way to show your support to our troops?

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund might be the answer.

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund supports Canadian service members who are wounded during operations.

From the outset of the healing process, we hope to improve the general morale and welfare of the soldiers and their families.

How can you help?

Send a donation, Have a club charity event, Pass the word to other riders Send donations or correspondence to:

The Sapper Mike McTeague Wounded Warrior Fund For more information email: info@woundedwarriors.ca or Check out the website:

www.woundedwarriors.ca

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 27

Eagles Nest 15th Miles for Smiles Ride Those of you who have been readers for many years know that i love the Eagles Nest / Dreams to Memories Annual poker run, i believe as does Lorrie and Jim that i have attended every ride, starting around the same time we started the mag in 1999. Its just a great ride from the shop at Queen street and Valleyway in Niagara Falls down to Niagara on the Lake then back up the parkway at one time all the way to Fort Erie, these days we go up as far as Netherby Road.

It was a crappy looking day when i left and the boss said i should take my jean jacket with me and after the previous weekends ride to Collingwood and hitting cold with rain all It’s Kool To Drink Healthy spots around me the RENT A FREEZER FULL OF ICE temps dropped FOR YOUR WEEKEND PARTY down into the 70’s maybe even into the high 60’s a real shocker for august in this part of the world, i have often written that i hate starting out in the rain but once i’m out there i just ride.

Well on this day i don’t think i got OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 1 0 0 yards from Mon - Fri 10 to 7 ! Sat - Sun 10 to 5 the house

BLACK HAWKS M.C. est. 1938

before i got rained on but i was underway, it wasn’t rainin real hard and it was stopping and starting. I could see across the lake looking south that it was lighter and clearer so that gave me hope. I stopped at my favorite filling station when i am heading Niagara bound to gas up and when i rolled out from under the canopy it was raining again.

Shit well its not raining hard and i know if i put my drover coat on i tempt the gods of rain and stay wet all day with no hope of drying off. It rained off and on for the first half hour or so, i stuck to the slow lane and put up with the jerks on the highway being jerks, the road was very wet and when i pulled out to let a truck pulling a camper trailer onto the highway a jackass in a cross over decided it was his oppurtunityh to hose me and cut off the guy coming onto the highway nearly causing a near death experience.

By the time i made it down to Jordan the rain had stopped and it was time to get over to the hammer lane where i normally ride, the even better news was as i approached St. Catharines the roads were pretty much dry and i twisted the throttle drying off in the breeze. Well the lack of rain and dry road lasted all the way to the Garden City Skyway, for those who do not know the area about 2 miles and it started up again but not hard just raining.

It rained off and on to the starting point next door to the Eagles Nest at Taps Bar, they had a breakfast buffet available and i looked for my usual riding partner Smiley from B.R.O. Niagara but he was nowhere to be seen. After i registered for the ride i ran over to the shop and dropped off a couple of hardbounds for Lorrie to put into the door prize pool at the end of the ride. It really shows something about the riders when the usual turnout for this ride is well over 100 and the bikes this day were under forty with forty some hands including passengers on the bikes.

SUNDAY SEPT 30, 12 1pm - 4pm, 50-50 DRAW TROPHIES & PRIZES

9th ANNUAL SHOW & SHINE

@ FRANKIES in MOUNT HOPE bhmchamilton@gmail.com THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 28

I decided to pass on the breakfast buffet as it was later than i wanted it to be when i arrived and my tradition of having breakfast on bridge street was out

Eagles Nest 15th Miles for Smiles Ride due to the hour and the missing smiley. I lit a big cigar up and struck out alone for Niagara on the lake for the first card stop, very hungry but determined to

get back onto schedule, shortly after i arrived at the first stop Carmen from B.R.O. and his riding buddy whose name i have forgot (sorry) arrived.

I was debating whether to stop for breakfast on my way past my traditional bridge street eatery or go straight to lunch at the next stop in Chippawa. I opted for lunch at the card stop and hot in pursuit was Carmen and company. I had already drawn another miserable card making my hand pregnant threes with the dreaded 3, 6, 9, combo ordered up a bowl of homemade soup and a sandwich, delicious.

Carmen joined me at the table and feeling better now that i had food in my gut i asked them to join me for the rest of the ride, we struck out for Snyder heading down the parkway towards Ft Erie past Ives gateway in chippawa named for my great aunt who will be celebrating her 102 birthday next month (sept), a quick turn onto netherby road and twisting the throttle we hit the hotel in snyder for a beverage and i spent some time checking out the cool hand painted map of Niagara on one of the tables.

The rest of the bikes rolled in as a pack with Jim leading the way on his latest big inch chopper which is his favorite build at the nest, we have featured a couple of his builds over the years and this one really rocks according to what he told me and i have no doubt this guy has been building bikes for his whole life and riding them like he stole them.

After a cocktail or two the sky was looking a little threatening as the weather moved in from lake erie so i asked Carm if he wanted to ride back to the falls, as he had to pick up his wife at the end of the ride for some festivies at the Grand Junction where the ride ended up this year. Its a great spot and they marked off lots of parking for the bikes and if they had had their usual 100 + bikes there would have been plenty of space for all to park.

The good folks at dreams to memories always have a few draws and raffles CONTINUED ON PAGE 32

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Page 29

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) better.

I would like to say congratulations to the Vagabonds MC on their 50th Anniversary.

I try to make it out to as many events as I can but it can certainly be a challenge at times.

Some days it's like running a marathon trying to get it all in and I'm totally wiped by the end of the day.

Remember, a month from now, on the 12th of Sept. I’m officially a Senior

CRIMINAL RECORD? Is a criminal record limiting your career or travel opportunities?

YOU NEED A PARDON.

PARDON ME Confidential. Reasonable.

Please Call Denise @ (905) 866-4272 Citizen and should be slowing down but I find myself looking for another gear so I can keep up or take it to another level.

Where did the time go and how did it go so fast!

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 30

I get invited to so many events and parties and as much as I'd like to attend them all, time and geographic perimeters dictate what I can realistically accomplish in the time allotted.

I also have to give priority to advertised events as they are who pay the bills and make this Mag possible.

I try to keep track of what else is going on and if I'm anywhere near it I will stop in, if only to say hello and take a couple of pictures and mention it in my column.

I never intentionally miss an event, but sometimes shit just happens, or doesn't happen.

What you have to understand is that for me, this has never been a job; it is an honour and a privilege that is afforded to few.

Anyone who tells you different doesn’t know shit!

I operate largely on respect, traditions and love. Love of the people, lifestyle, motorcycles and riding.

I was always busy before, had lots of friends and places to go and stayed put when I found a great party. Man, how things have changed!

Now the Mag has expanded my World and things are not so simple anymore and getting to some of my traditional spots is getting more complicated and getting settled in for any length of time is near impossible.

But I do try to show up even as just a show of respect.

A lot of people say that they would like to do what I do, but other than the guy who started this Magazine, I have yet to meet anyone who wants to do it bad enough to actually do what I do.

Talk is cheap!

If you can honestly say that you can do it and mean it, step on up and we can talk.

Remember that my involvement in this Mag was never planned. I just wanted to give them some fucking cartoons and got sucked into the vortex that is The Riders Mag. So be careful what you wish for.

Nothing comes for free!

The Aug. long weekend for example is a killer for me as I have traditional events that I’ve gone to long before I got involved with the Mag that I still like to attend and JR cuts me slack but it’s getting harder and harder to get it all crammed into my schedule and meet the needs of the Mag. Now The ABATE party in itself is easy. They are an advertised event and it is a fantastic event, with fantastic people who I’ve come to know and love over the years, I love to come here.

I have an absolute ball here.

I know pretty much when the games start and time my arrival to coincide with them and still give myself time to wander around the property to visit.

But I had some business I had to attend to up in Barrie and decided to start out earlier and squeeze that in first and then venture across to ABATE. Now most of the ABATE people already know that I don’t stay late as I try get another event in on my way back home with a stop at the AOA South Simcoe CH to cover their National Party which isn’t an advertised event but the AOA have always been strong supporters of the Mag and myself, personally by advertising other events and I have many long, strong and lasting friendships with many of the members who I consider to be true Brothers and just like to stop in a shake some hands and visit a bit.

They have added a swimming pool to their property and many members were languishing in it after enjoying a day of games and other activities and a fine buffet dinner.

There is always a cold 50 at this house and they made sure that I had one.

There was one big surprize for me as my Brother Neil’s little girl, Amanda, who used to ride on the back of my bike when she was just

Cruising with Critter (Rants, Raves, Reviews, Reflections and Revelations of the Ribald and Rotund, but Recently Reduced, Rejuvenated, Renovated, Revamped, Roving Reporter) little (And that seems like it was just Motorcycle yesterday.) appeared all grown up and with Come See Us at her own sharp looking purple Sporty that she Accessories, Fenwick Lions looks just fantastic on.

Exotic Leathers Biketoberfest I could spend hours and hours here as it is a Fenwick ON great spot, that they have spent countless hours and money resurrecting it from the condemned list to the place that brings them so much pride and serves them so well today, and there are so many to talk to that I seldom get to see in these days of busy Gel Pad Inserts, schedules but I had to get on the move once Pans ~ Shaping Air Horns, again so I made my rounds finished my 50, Engraving ~ Studs Top Pads, fired up Petoonia and headed for home.

This time I had to veer off course to see the Over 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats fine folks at The Loretto Inn which added another few miles to my travels and another 905-735-7216 hour or so to the day. www.triplekupholstery.com It does make for a long day, a damn fine day, a damn fine ride, I covered a lot of ground but accomplished a lot and got to spend some time with some of my great company. favourite people but it was good to get home and even better to beat the It was well attended and an absolute ball! Thanks for a great day. I raised rain home, as I pulled into my garage I could hear thunder and as I one of those 50 you were so kind to provide in salute to the memory of dismounted Petoonia I looked out in the driveway, what was dry just Scott-T. Found another dime on the way out to my bike. seconds before was now soaked with the intense rain that I’d missed by I was invited to another MC function this past Saturday and I was going mere seconds. to swing by for a while before heading over to The Renegades but didn’t Sometimes I can be lucky! have the address and the promised e mail with the info never came and The next day I’m up early, download my pictures from the previous day, when my Blackberry fried some time back I lost most of my contact fire up Petoonia head out to cover another party over in Fenelon Falls. information and still haven’t been able to retrieve everything so I spent This time it’s The Brotherhood MC who are hosting their traditional the day In Docville with the Renegades and company. party and got to spend the day covering their fantastic games and party.

I do try to spread myself around to these functions but only have so I will write about these events in more depth and complete with pictures much time to do it so you have to work with me a bit. and they will appear in the Mag when space permits but they will be on For an online library of this and other columns and cartoons along with my website crittercountry.ca soon so check it out. an archive of pictures from events covered by Critter check out The Monday I got to relax squeezing in the yard work that has been www.rickdavis.ca. piling up on me while I just languished around.

That was just a glimpse into the World of the Roving Reporter.

In case you think I’m whining, I loved every second of it and wouldn’t trade it for all the 50 that Labatt produces!

And that’s the truth!

I went down to the Paradice Riders CH the other night to join them and a variety of other clubs, friends Thorold, Ontario L0S 1A0 2065 Allanport Road and family in support of a couple of PDR members who are facing challenges these days and can well use the help.

It was a great turn out with more showing up as I was leaving.

It was a real example of what Brotherhood is about, being there when you are needed. Love respect, honour and traditions. These things still remain in the hearts of true bikers and it is what separates the real people from the posers.

Mechanical Shop Rate $60/hr, Body Shop Rate $55/hr There is more to being a real biker than just buying a motorcycle and sewing some patch on your vest or jacket.

Phone: (905) 227-8453 Fax: (905) 227-8555 Some will never understand it. niagarachoppers@yahoo.ca I did get to go to the Renegades MC Party and Open Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. spend the day with a fine crew of guys and gals there enjoying some great food, field games, and

“On-Site Downdraft Paint Booth” “Custom Paint” Parts Sales “Licensed Bodyman for all Body and Frame Customization”

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 31

Eagles Nest 15th Miles for Smiles Ride to raise further money for their cause which is staffed 100% by volunteers and because of this commitment 100% of all money raised goes to their worthy cause of granting wishes to terminally ill parents of young children.

What an awesome cause and kinda the reverse of the other big wish granting charities.

They gave away a golf club bag in a raffle and it was Carmens buddy who won and i asked him how the heck he was gonna get it home on the bike, but he too had rode home parked his bike picked up the car and i believe his gal as well although i could be mistaken. I did recently see a road glide decked out with a rig to carry golf clubs which got me to thinkin as i do love to golf and have been doing alot of golfing this year until i hurt my knee last month, golfing, go figure.

The 50/50 draw was small due to the light turnout but despite my crumby cards i was fortunate to win the draw, totalling $85 all in $5 bills, woo hoo.

Lorrie always has lots of cool swag to give away in the form of door prizes hitting up all her suppliers and associates for a little this and that to give away to the riders and even in the big years theres almost always something for everyone, i can tell you there was more swag than riders this year.

I was fortunate to get one of her gift wrapped giveaways crammed full of swag, a couple of stuffed animals, a pair of gloves, a leather neck protector, a notepad set, a leather pouch, dream catcher, key chain, and a few other odds and ends, my kids were all over it and it was split up amongst them. Some of the riders had awesome hands, something that i rarely get.

This years winners were 3rd place passenger Joshua with a straight, 2nd Bill with 4 Queens and 1st Tony with 4 Aces, all three winners got their awesome hands purchasing a 6th card for $2 which is an option at the end of this ride and although i ended up with a pair of aces i already knew that as of the stop in Snyder that there were two people with 3 of a kind so there wasn’t much point in purchasing that 6th card.

This is an awesome event and an awesome ride in support of one of many very worthy causes and at the outset i have attended every event and i intend to continue attending this event and riding in it cause i just love the ride and the people and even on crappy weather days i always have a good time, thanks to Jim and Lorrie for continuing to support this cause and kudos to the good folks at d r e a m s t o memories in Fort Erie for finding the strength and volunteers to continue to do all this good work with no one getting paid, it means alot.

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 32

Rocky’s Harley-Davidson Pork-Dover Fest 2012

by Tim You just knew the sunny and record breaking hot weather wouldn’t last forever. Today we experienced a little bit of everything from overcast skies, periods of light rain and we did get our fare share of sun too. For me the seasonal temperatures were all too welcome.

Rocky’s Harley-Davidson/Buell in London held their second annual PorkDover Fest and despite of what Mother Nature had in store the event carried on without a glitch. And many chose to ride to the event regardless and there was no cost to attend.

Many money saving deals were offered by Rocky’s and there were racks of licensed motor clothing and merchandise that was marked down to cost levels. There were also great deals on licensed accessories and many took advantage of the offerings. The show room showed signs of empty space

and that was only due to the fact that the all new 2013 Harley-Davidson’s are about to be released any day now.

Be sure to check out Rocky’s Harley-Davidson/Buell “Test our Medal Demo-Day” scheduled forAugust 25th and registration begins at 9:00am.

It wasn’t a difficult task hunting down the source of the mouth watering aroma hovering around the Rocky’s facility. The closer you got to the beer tent the more you were drawn in to check it out and there it was. Pulled-pork fresh off Porky’s cooked bones and it was fantastic. For me they were like Lay’s potato chips...I couldn’t eat just one!

Broadcasting live throughout the day from Rocky’s Harley-Davidson/Buell was London’s BX93 that labels itself as today’s country music station.

THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 33

Rocky’s Harley-Davidson Pork-Dover Fest 2012

by Tim lucky winner.

Live entertainment was provided throughout the day and braving the less than desirable weather conditions was “Big Bang”, “After the Lounge” and the popularAC/DC tribute “Bon-Fire”.

Providing a valor service was the University of Western Ontario Mustang Cheerleaders who provided their expertise and offered bike washes for a simple 5 dollar donation to support today’s cause. In between raindrops they were also spotted on the greens doing their routine and they were quite pleasurable to watch.

Also providing support for the cause was numerous worthy items (door prizes) that were donated from sponsors of the event and they were raffled off at day’s end. There was also a wicked beer fridge that was raffled off for the cause and the winning ticket was number 0478222. I had numerous tickets for this one but my numbers weren’t even close. Congrat’s to the

Today’s cause was in memory Gary “Freak” Woods and was in support of the Gene Goodreau Patient Fund which is the London Regional Cancer Program’s (LRCP) Patient Assistance Program and a truly worthy cause. The Gene Goodreau Patient Assistance Fund helps to bridge the gap and take part of the financial burden from cancer patients so they can focus on battling their disease.

A good time was had by all who attended this year’s event. If you missed this year’s Rocky’s Harley-Davidson/Buell Pork Dover Fest be sure to check out next year’s annual event.

In London Tim

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Name:__________________________ Address:________________________ City:____________________________Province:_______Postal Code:_______ THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 34

CARGILL BIKE BASH

By Manon Kellman

I am back with my first article for the 2012 season. So much going on all over the place and so little time to do them all. This was our first time attending the Cargill Bike Bash and what a great time we had.

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The idea for the Bike Bash came from two local guys who thought that having a local event would be great due to the amount of motorcycle enthusiasts in the surrounding areas. After a couple of tries, they decided to approach the Cargill District Community Fund realizing that the Cargill Park would be an ideal spot to hold the event. There was immediate interest and five years later, they have over 500 bikers attending and growing year after year. This is all run by a volunteer committee and all proceeds are given back to the park so that they can maintain the children’s playground and the surrounding grounds.

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We arrived at the Cargill Community Center at 5:00 p.m. to set up our tent and found the perfect spot just beside the river and shade. Many motor

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homes and trailers were already on site, most of them arrived on Wednesday and made a long weekend of the event.

Cargill is a very small town with only a variety store/post office availa ble and this from 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Since we arrived Frida y night, the vendors had not yet arrived and thus, no food available. We enquired and were told to go about 10 km down the road to Dunkel's,

Upon our return, we decided to mingle with the crowd and what a party we had that Friday night and the night that followed. We have been camping out to numerous events in the past years and I can honestly say that EVERYONE present was so welcoming to us, the NEWBIE’S. Everywhere we went, we felt welcomed and not out of place…it was as if we had been

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THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 35

CARGILL BIKE BASH

By Manon Kellman

there since the beginning, when the event started. The weekend is free, but you are more than welcome to make a donation for the camping. The only thing we had to pay for was our meals (hamburgers, French fries or roast beef sandwiches) and the dance ticket for the Saturday night at $10.00 a piece; but, for that fee you get free pizza.

Everything was well planned out, starting with a breakfast run on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. This was a self guided ride in the area or as far as you wanted to go, as long as you made it back for 1:00 p.m. The object of the ride was to bring back a receipt of something you bought along the way: food, gas, etc.

The further you went (with receipt as proof), the more poker cards you got upon your return.

In the afternoon, we had a motorcycle show and shine (about 75 bikes entered), an outdoor band named "Breakwater Blues Band”, stunt riders whom were amazing and a motorcycle rodeo. At 9:00 p.m. that night we had another band that played in the Community Center, the “CrAzY MaKeR" and free pizza. Throughout the whole weekend, you were welcomed to the burnout pit and do as much damage to you tire as you wanted to…one guy came prepared for this and brought along 4 tires out of which 3 w h e r e destroyed!

Sunday morning, the last day of the event, we were treated t o a

Inc.

Design Build THE RIDER’S MAG

breakfast at a cost of $8.00; the food was hot, tasty and included a wide variety of items.

On behalf of myself and my husband, I would like to thank everyone who welcomed us with open arms (too many names to mention) and a sincere thank you to Dennis Thompson, volunteer, for feeding us diner Saturday night when we arrived too late and Bonnie Thompson, volunteer, for providing me with the background information for this event.

See you next year rain or shine!

Manon Kellman

Advanced Architectural Systems Inc. aasinc@sulug.ca Page 36

Mount Forest Legion Show and Shine 2012

by Rick It was a picture perfect day tailor made for a bike ride with a fantastic destination, the Beautiful Town of Mount Forest.

This has become another of my perennial favourite events.

I had company for this trip. My buddy Old Joe wanted to come along and check things out so we arranged to meet enroute.

I pulled in at Loretto and there he was on his old reliable Volkswagen trike.

We got under way and made a nonstop run right on through to Mount Forest and pulled into the Legions Show and Shine area where we were greeted by the organizers and I was asked if I could be a judge.

I reluctantly agreed but it didn’t seem like the right decision then and after conferring with Boss man JR it was decided that it presents a bit of a conflict of interest and I will decline any requests in the future.

We had plenty of time on our hands as we were really early and there were only a dozen or so bikes parked ready for judging, the beer garden wasn’t open and they were just setting up the food tent and barbecue, so we wandered off to the Main St. where there was plenty of action.

Joe, having never been here for this, was blown away by the sight of so many cars, trucks and just about anything with wheels and how the whole Town was behind it.

Joe is quite a knowledgeable guy when it comes to just about everything but when it comes to old cars, trucks and stuff he could write a book and if you wanted to attend an event such as this you couldn’t want a better companion than him.

He was like a tour guide and had some insight and a story about just about every vehicle we saw on the street that day.

It was a long street jammed packed on both sides with awesome examples of the automotive industry so it was a long but very informative tour.

We got some further insight into the time and money it takes to bring a vehicle such as this one magnificent hearse from something destined for the scrapyard to the gleaming spectacle that garnered so much attention today.

There is a special kind of love and appreciation mixed with something that must border on lunacy or some compulsive disorder or imbalance to dedicate so much time money and energy into a project.

We as bikers can appreciate that compulsion because that is what we have to endure to keep our lifestyle alive and live the way we want to live under

authenticltd@rogers.com / www.authenticltd.com our terms and ride what we want to ride. If you have to explain they will never understand.

We had to make our stop in at I’m Sooooooooooooooo Bad where once again Lucy (The mannequin.) was attracting attention from her perch just

outside their very interestingAdult Store. I’m Sooooooooo Bad is also one of the Sponsors and was the driving force behind the addition of The Motorcycle Show and Shine to the event and they are always an absolute pleasure to spend some time with. Dawn, when Miss Lucy is ready for some treatment to keep her looking good give me a call. I know a guy who can fix her up, and not in the kinky way.

We made our way up and down the entire length of Main St. listening to the old time Rock n Roll blasting from the sound system and taking in all the sights and sounds of this fantastic weekend event.

It was a classic example of Rural Town lifestyle and a community working together towards a common goal at its best.

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Mount Forest Legion Show and Shine 2012

by Rick Phone: 519-846-0040 Fax: 519-846-0145

Lloyd Gadd 7457 Speers Rd #4 Elora, Ontario

www.mostlyironheads.com

Mostly Iron Heads ! Engine Rebuilding

Specializing in H-D Sportsters ! Vintage Restorations ! New, Used & N.O.S. Parts ! Service & Repairs

They had something happening for everybody, young, old, not so old, not so young and everything in between.

There were clowns and costumed mascots, face painting, musicians, Karaoke singers, street performers and just about everything else imaginable out there on that bright beautiful and hot day.

We grabbed a bite to eat and ventured back to the Legion where things had really picked up at the show and shine with the lot full and many more bikes parked on the street.

The beer garden was now open and we wandered in for a cold one having worked up a thirst from our long excursion on Main St., no 50 but it was cold and wet and served the purpose.

I figured it was time for me to get to work so I went out into the show and shine area to get some pictures of the really fine motorcycles that had been brought out, shoot the shit here and there and generally just enjoy the day.

Harley ! BSA ! Norton ! Triumph

12 Carrying Place Road, Trenton, Ont. K8V 3E7

(613) 392-8433 www.makeitroar.com

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Joe was feeling a little off kilter and decided that he would head for home and boarded his big red trike and left early in the afternoon.

I hung in there and helped do the judging then hung around for the awards.

I have made many friends here from past visits and had no trouble filling in the time before the judging began in earnest.

They had a great band whose name I made note of and will surely find once this Mag has gone to press but they did a fine job of entertaining the crowd that filled the beer garden area to capacity.

The committee running the Show and Shine has changed and while they did a great job and put great effort forward, there seems to be a slight lack in continuity from the previous committees as the categories has decreased instead of increasing as it had been and that makes the job of judging so much harder .because there were bikes that should surely have won something and deserved to win something if the categories had been there.

It is hard to make a decision on a class like Best Harley because there are just so many models and styles and it is sort of an injustice to have riders bring their bikes out to be judged and compete against a model or style they shouldn’t be competing in.

Anyhow the judging was done the trophies awarded and it was time for me to pack up my gear climb aboard my beloved Petoonia and head for home.

It was another magical and memorable day in the beautiful Town of Mount Forest.

Thanks for your hospitality once again and thanks for this wonderful event.

The winners are; Best Harley – Cathy Gallagher, Best Off Shore – Hank Stephen, Best Woman’s – Maria, Best Stock – Jack Harley, Best Classic – Homer, Best Modified – Robert McInnis, Best Custom - Paul Godinno, Furthest Travelled – Maria Dibenedetto, Best off Road (Child under 12) – Greg Martin

Ladies and their Harley’s

This months feature lady is Willow and she is a gal determined to ride motorcycles despite a number of obstacles that were before her. She comes from a military family who moved from place to place depending on where her father was stationed and the last station was in the Winnipeg area. Her father was a rider who was into gold wings having rode a wide variety of Honda motorcycles over the years.

some of her family came from when her grandmother passed away, thinking Winnipeg hasn;t been too kind to her, she had two kids and was pregnant with her third when she moved to the area. She was still determined to ride and she went out and signed up for the motorcycling course at Niagara college saying she passed first in her class wtih two of her classmates having accidents during their test on college bikes running into each other.

Her older brother rode crotch rockets and had a number of accident none of which were fatal but he volunteered for the navy and after having his last motorcycling accident he bought a car due to his broken leg, to drive across the country to his new station in Halifax. Shortly after he arrived he was repairing his car when it fell off the jack crushing and killing him. Willow says this happened when she was going to her first day of high school.

She says shortly after she got her licesnse she was driving through St. Catherines and spoted a 1982 Honda silver wing for sale parked at the end of a driveway. She swung around checked it out and ended up buying the bike and riding it for about 3 years. She says that she still has that bike to this day and has decorated it extensively with widow spiders.

Her parents had split up and she was hanging out with motorcyclists in the Winnipeg area wanting to ride but says that no one out that way was willing to help her learn how to ride. Eventually she bought herself a bike to teach herself how to ride she was that determined and the bike got stolen. Those she was hanging around with were still riding the old generator shovel kick only type bikes so she says she had a bit of an opinion about Harleys but really like them big gold wings that her dad had been riding.

Willow made her way back to the Niagara area which was where

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She went to Clares open house back when the Harley shop was still located in Fenwick, she really wasn;t interested in a Harley but her boyfriend was riding a road king and he had let her take it for a few rides and while they were walking through the shop the last bike on the row of used bikes was a black

Ladies and their Harley’s area, did all the paperwork and brought the bike home for her.

Willow says that she far preferred the carberated version as opposed to the fuel injected bike she has now but is glad its not someone elses ride that she has to hear about all the time. So when we did the pics of this blue road king that really looked purple to me she was just beginning her second year of riding this bike which was purchased around Christmas time 2010.

She is a truly remarkable gal, despite two bike accidents in a span of just over a year, wedge into the middle of that an accident with a broken down small suv on the 420 where she was crushed by the door and run over by her own car while pushing it on the side of the road. And follow that up with major surgery too boot and she thought it was a good idea to take up competing in the highland games, wow.

So she started out competing in highland games in 2011 with caber tossing and hammer throw if i can believe my notes of this iinterview and she says she is usually the only one who shows up to compete on her bike. She also attends other conferences that are of interest to her in the summer and part of that involves taking people for rides on the back of her motorcycle whose bucket lists include rides on the back of a Harley.

2000 carbed road king. He told her to try it out she said she really didn;t want to but finally did sit on the bike and her youngest daughter who was with her asked if she could try and willow let her take a seat and the girl went straight for the passenger seat and said hey look mom i can ride with you! Well she said that clinched it right there, she was sold not by a salesperson but by her daughter.

The called for Randy Clare who gave them all the details on the bike including its history, former owner, modifications, service history, mileage etc. Well the paperwork was signed and the bike was purchased and as it turned out the former owner was constantly annoying her about his former bike with comments like “are you taking good care of my bike?” this isn;t the first time i have heard a story like this but lets just say she really liked the bike and wanted to ride and if it hadn;t fallen victim to a couple of accidents she would have repainted it.

Willow did have a couple of dust ups on the bike once laying the bike down to avoid a collision, the bike hit the curb, she picked it up and rode it home.

The second time while riding into Port Dover in 2010 for Friday the 13th she hit an oily patch at the site of an earlier accident and flipped the bike end for end into a ditch just outside of town. After 3 hours at the hospital she returned to dover picked up the bike and rode home. She asked her boyfriend to ride the bike to clares the next day where the bike was declared dead and the insurance company paid off the loan.

After the irritating experience with a former owner there was no way she was buying another used bike locally so she decided that she should buy a bike from further away and picked up this blue 1999 Road King from a dealer in southern PA w h o w a s flogging it on ebay and she got a heck of a deal on it and her boyfriend who is a trucker picked it up while he was driving through the

When i asked Willow about future plans for riding and either getting a newer bigger bike or modifying her existing bike she was very definite. In the short term she has plans to attend a wide range of highland games in various towns throughout Ontario. She definatley wants to ride out west and visit family as she says she has family members in the Winnipeg area and wants to ride all the way to the coast, her boyfriend on the other hand said he would ship his bike out west and ride the coast with her but couldn;t stand the boredom of the praries.

As for the bike she has a definite plan to dress up her bike ala war horse but even older than that saying she wants to go for the barbaric era. It sounds really interesting and i look forward to seeing what she comes up with in design for this bike, that is assuming she got over all her crashes with that previous road king, only time will tell.

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JOKE PAGE effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.' The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.' She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.' The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, wees into a toilet and pulls the lever. The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.' Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She wees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?'

'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush Beats a Pair --- No Matter How Big They Are. A woman from downtown Toronto, who was a tree hugger, a cardcarrying Liberal, and a highly vocal anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Bancroft, Ontario. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local E.R. in Bancroft to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Liberal, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the MOE, the MNR, and the Ontario Planning Board before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to McGuinty health care policies and cutbacks, they turned you down!"

A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed." The good Sister told him to watch his language. On his next swing, he missed again. "Shit, I missed." "Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing," the nun said tartly... The priest promised to do better and the round continued. On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.. Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing like that." On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again. "Shit, I missed." A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks. And from the sky comes a booming voice ...... "Shit, I missed."

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds -to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically. How much to repair it? The Scot asks the chemist. Six pence, says the chemist. How much for a new one? Ten pence, says the chemist. The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging. A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout. The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.The regiment has taken a vote, he says.“We'll have a new one."

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,--- 'What time of night to be getting home is this?

Where have you been?

Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.

Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. 'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said. He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don ' t know. I ' ll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I ' ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who ' s at the door."

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake

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JOKE PAGE pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard.." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake.."

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn ' t it?" "No," the second man replied, "it ' s Thursday..." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let ' s have a beer."

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.. "To get my teeth!"

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces," Anyone who can guess what ' s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don ' t get mad at me.... I know we ve been friends for a long time but I just can ' t think of your name. I ' ve thought and thought, but I can ' t remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife ' s voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there ' s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman , "It ' s not just one car.. It ' s hundreds of them!"

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it.

I could have sworn we just went through a red light" After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.

Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"

A tourist approached a local person in a village he was visiting in Newfoundland and asked 'What's the quickest way to Deer Lake?' The local scratched his head, 'Are ya walkin 'r drivin?' he asked the stranger.

'I'm driving' said the stranger. The villager said 'That's the quickest way'

It has been my experience that Newfoundland wisdom is infinite.

I lost the trivia contest at the church social last night by one point and was totally embarrassed. The last question was: "Where do most women have curly hair?" ........so I shouted out my answer.

Apparently the correct answer is: Africa.

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times till her husband says... "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat. He never heard the gunshot.

IT'S SO HOT IN ONTARIO THAT .... .....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground. .....the trees are whistling for the dogs. .....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance .....hot water comes from both taps.

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289-808-9190 .....you can make sun tea instantly. .....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. .....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly. .....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car. .....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. .....you actually burn your hand opening the car door. .....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 A.M. .....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"? .....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage. .....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter. .....the cows are giving evaporated milk. .....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

CONTINUED ON PAGE 46

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DANNI’S TIMES I am checking in..Vacation is never long enough and returning to Home, it takes days to feel reality..Just want to stay on that bike... just keep going..

The choices of where to go..it has to be somewhere different and it must be a change of scenery. The roads headed to the eastern part of Canada..We do love this part and feel right at home no matter what road is highlighted on the map..Whenever I get on the road, I get this song in my head..and I remember the words as I cruise along...

The life I love is making music with my friends.

On the road again..

Our first stop was in Ottawa with a goal of visiting the Airplane Museum..but..getting lost is always a plan for me..I never know why? I believe I must meet these people who help me...This city is never a problem, horns are never going off..patience is shown with these crazy bikers changing lanes and most probably creating problems for them...Well we followed that Question Mark sign..and I mean we went around and around..Somehow that question mark lead us to a parking garage. And of course right beside the garage door, was that ? Sign..It was useless.....No info just lots of cars..that was not the idea here so we just turned right..got tangled into lots of traffic and construction but when you are lost..just enjoy it and point the bikes somewhere..First left we took and found a chocolate store..Now..this was the place to ask..In I went and immediately found a Salesperson who was to direct me out of there and before I left..I was given this enormous piece of dark chocolate to provide sugar to do that ride up to the end of Essex Drive..I thanked them..looking

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around to appreciate the surroundings of being in a candy store..I could not buy anything. it would have melted..

Like a band of gypsies we go down the road again..

We’re the best of friends...

Out I went and shared my chocolate and on the road again..Our directions were really only two streets off the course and everything was easy from here..The estates were huge and far enough back that the rumblin’ pipes were not detected amongst the quiet groups out investigating our famous Politicians living there..Thought for a minute I should drop by and have a tea with Mr. Harper..but just did not have his phone number on me..

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway On the road again The Airplane museum had lots of parking and I enjoyed every moment..thought maybe that chocolate might have helped..The vintage airplanes were just stellar there with nose art on pretty well all of them.. It looked like the Canadians placed their art on the nose and at the tail end of the plane.. To add an air of vintage lifestyle there were a few bikes but I keep looking for the bikes from England that did the mail run. Not a lot of military bikes on display anywhere..I saw the most ever of Military motorcycles in the Museum at Saint-Jean-Port Joli..Not a mention of any motorcycle nostalga at any of the historic displays or writings around the planes .I was there until they announced..time to leave..come again if you choose..but now it was time to head to Montreal to plan our adventure further east..

I just can’t wait to get on the road again Seeing things I may never see again...

Attending Pat Burns funeral, the topic was the arena being built in his name..at that time..the stories of it being on the border of Quebec and Vermont aroused an interest..Stanstead stayed in my mind..My info at that time was from others’ who bragged about this city that had the most unusual layout..The only way to find out was to ride there and find out..

Although Champlain Bridge had construction..traffic was clear sailing right across where our focus was toAutoroute 15S/Autoroute 20East-Autoroute 10E- and merge to Autoroute 55S..For some reason these directions were so simple..managed to make all the right turns and be headed to this historic City of Stanstead to find out what the stories were all about...The roads were just paved and were awesome to ride on..met so many motorcycles on the road..More motorcycles than cars..That’s different..

Going’ places that I’ve never been On the road again...

Granby was our first stop..Huge Car Show today and again..this Show is well known amongst all in the Car World. With crowds of people every where. special motorcycle parking was close and it was so simple..Now what is your choice of food while in Quebec.? .Hot-Dogs and Poutine. ..The Poutine..is mainly because of the sauce and cheese..Its heaven to sit on the grass..and just munch while the world passes by..Everyone was so friendly..So many Bikers mentioned they love to ride north in Ontario coming across Highway 7..

Peterborough was mentioned as a favorite town for friendliness, I think that’s because Jen and Jim live there...It was even mentioned where they saw signs on the side of the roads, to be aware of motorcycles posted around Peterborough..Bikes are meant for travelin..those steel stallions like to ride..ride..to roads that bring us to everywhere...

Like a band of gypsies we go down the road again On the road again heading to our destination of Stanstead..the forecast was rain , a few drops came down leaving the Show but it disappeared as we just motored to the other leg of our journey..we had a map..I was going to prove we would not get lost this time..you need a change...

Upon entering the Historic City it makes you think of History..French culture with a New England Theme painted behind the buildings....its so picturesque..I was looking for this..but was unsure of what we were to meet...It was told, this was the city of an American Border running down the

DANNI’S TIMES center..I imagined this line running down the center. This is the city that remembers the name of Pat Burns who was born in Winnipeg but loved this part of Quebec in the summer time..

Goin” places that I’ve never been..

On the road again This town is across from Derby Line, Vermont. walking around, we asked questions from any one we thought would answer us and they all had places for us to adventure to .Very proud they are of their unusual city..but I can see why.Easy riding on the bikes too..

Haskell Free Library and Opera House was deliberately constructed straddling the border for access for both Canadians and Americans..Tours were in both languages..So different..with a building being half here in Canada and the other half being States..It was a complete bonus having the enhanced license that enables you to travel across the border..because we would not have thought to pack the passport..because we were just riding..with no intentions of crossing a border...seeing the border..but this city is really unique.

Our second adventure was this street, Canusa.St . Houses lying on the south end- are entirely in Vermont while their driveways directed northward , connected to the street are in Quebec. The northern portions of their property are in Quebec. Backyard neighbors areAmericans and across the street are Canadians...no noticeable boundary exists between the two..But the street, Canusa is entirely in Quebec..In other places, the International border runs through individual homes, meals are prepared in one country and eaten in another room..It took a bit of understanding.

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway..

The life I love is making music with my friends...

Talking to individuals, their history is long here ..Families have lived here for years...The Border Crossing was like a home .Everybody knew each other..no threats of any kind.. Now these last 12 to 13 years..the Boundary Controls have hardened..Canadians need to report to Canada Customs

after visiting..The Haskell Free Library and Opera House..Just a couple of years ago, a man was looking at property to buy..not knowing the parcel of land he ventured onto was American..He was arrested and charged with trespassing into the States...Suddenly these helicopters were flying overhead..and men behind him..They could not tell us .if he bought the property...

Seein” things that I may never see again..

On the road again..

Back on the road and headed to our Pat Burns Hockey Arena which is owned by the City of Stanstead and looked after by the Stanstead College..Could not get lost here, the street was Pat Burns Street..

The Arena was everything we expected..It was like going into a NHL Game Arena..Pat Burns was a part of this city, playing ball for years here and he was alive to break ground knowing thisArena was to have his name..I loved the stories..the people..and by the way..I only met English people when we were talking in the city...

Riding back we were wondering about meeting traffic..but none and the roads were all just paved ,heading back to Montreal for more great rides and friends.

On the road again Insisting that the world keep turning our way.

Now I will get a chance to check in with friends at the Smoke Out..on September 8th..

I must say, Hi to Britta, was away this year and missed the BBQ and Mount Forrest Show. Britta, will ride up in the fall for lunch...Congrats to Miss Cindy , on her beautiful Baby girl...

On the road again...and that’s my mission for the months to come...get out there and ride..

Safe Ride DANNI

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Email: dzuber@zubco.com Website: www.zubco.com THE RIDER’S MAG

Page 45

JOKE PAGE John and his buddy, Keith, were going skiing. They loaded up John's minivan, and headed for the slopes.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a white out blizzard. So, they pulled into a nearby farm, and asked the attractive lady, who answered the door, if they could spend the night. 'I realize it's terrible weather out there, and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed.', she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 'Don't worry.', John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way out to the barn, and settled in for the night. In the morning, the storm had passed, and they left very early, and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, John received an unexpected letter. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney representing the attractive widow that had let he and Keith sleep in her barn on that ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed overnight at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?' 'Yes.', said Keith. 'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 'Well, um, yes!', Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I

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A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out. About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch..

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the

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sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now, the police had arrived. Breathe here... They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake! The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night. And that's when he shot her. * I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.

I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning! * The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's 21, and her name's Kathy. * Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. * My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year!

You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether." * The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries. * A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" * I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening." * My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back. * The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read

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