The Riders Mag July 2015 V17-n05

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THE RIDER’S MAG

July 2015 Volume 17 - #5

READ FREE ! RIDEFREE !

We Support

Our Troops!!!

The Magazine for Riders


Call us, We’re Here to Listen.


Table of Contents

Pg. 4 - What’s Shakin’

Lots of events all Summer Long.

The Boss just keeps sure does alot of travelling

The Mag Hag and Big Scott travel to Oakville.

Rooster’s Unity Ride 2015

What’s after the X Games Aaron has an Idea

Greg spends a day in Dunnville for a great cause.

Distractions Everywhere Stop doing That!

Out Spoken Deatailing & Accessories

Out Spoken Custom Cycles

Pg. 6 - Cruising with Critter Pg. 18 - Ride 2 Reach 2015

Pg. 22 - Fighting For Your Rights

®

Pg. 23 - Flat Trackin’

Pg. 24 - Ride for the Future

Pg. 26 - In the Wind Poker Run Rose is in St Catherines for a Cheap Ride. Pg. 27 - Shenigans From Sherri O’Irish Pg. 28 - Joke Page Pg. 30 - Shop/Builder Of The Month

Pg. 32 - May Calendar and all thats going on. Pg. 34 - Lord Protect Us from The Wrath of the Norsemen. Donny Petersen takes a trip to Norway

Pg. 38 - Sticker Stories

Sharon’s been all over Central Ontario .

“From Shovel to Glide”

Beau’s At Events every weekend.

That Northern Guy, to Elliott Lake and back

Sharon Remembers an old friend.

Pg. 42 - Feature Bike

Pg. 45 - Biker Church Pastor Ken is filling in for Pastor Dave. Pg. 46 - From the far East………Ontario that is. Pg. 50 - Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad

Pg. 53 - Hello Fellow Inmates..... Donnie is back with more tales of Toronto East. Pg. 56 - Ladies and Their Harleys Pg. 58 - Dix Davies Celebration of a Life Published by:

THE RIDER’S MAG Inc.

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www.theridersmag.com Email: rickdavis@theridersmag.com Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Office Manager: Diane Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Advertising and Sales

Eastern Ont./Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Northern Ontario Sales Rep.: Guy Levasseur 705-662-1526

Contributing Writers Aaron Hesmer, Bad Bob, Beau Rooney, Big Scott Dangerous Donnie, Donny Petersen, David Neals, JR McCrea, Jonathan Musson, Kaz, Manon Kellman, Rossaire, Danni, The Mag Hag, Roostah, Sherri O’Irish, Sharon Nicholson Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter & Michael MacDonald (MAC13) Office Security and Pest Control By: Captain & Rosebud “The Wonder Dogs"

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3


What’s

Every Tuesday

Shakin’

All Summer The Albion Hotel’s World Famous Bike Night & BBQ Starts at 11:30 am and runs All Day at the Albion, Special event on July 7th “Blues, Bikes & BBQ”, With special guest performer Willie Styles starting at 6pm. Sponsored by Hogtown Cycles and Sleeman Brewery. 1 Main Street, Bayfield 519-565-2641 Biker TV’s Biker Drive-In and Show and Shine Starts at 6pm, Live Music, BBQ, Prizes & a Bikini Bike Wash. Follow that up with a Movie at 9pm. June 30th It’s ‘Easy Rider’ At Biker TV, 5 Main Street Princeton.

Every Wednesday

Suck Bang Blow Bike Night 60 cent Wings, Door Prizes, Drink Specials and No Cover Charge. Come on out to Stoney Creek, 443 Highway 20 East at the end of Tapleytown Road. Jacox Harley-Davidson® Baker Street Bobber Run Every WEDNESDAY, departing at 6:30 from Jacox H-D® - Destination, The Baker Street Station in Guelph, Ontario. Please RSVP our Parts & Accessories Specialist, Andy Hicks at ahicks@jacoxharley. com weekly, the Tuesday before each ride. For more information please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763.

Every Thursday

Malicious Cycle’s Bike Night / BBQ 2015. At The Shop 3595 St. Clair E. Unit 7 in Scarborough. Check their website for more Info: www.maliciouscycleandclothing.com Keleher’s Bike Nights Charity Fund raiser, BBQ, 50/50, Prizes. At Keleher’s 154 King St. East, Cambridge 519-650-9595facebook.com/pages/ Kelehers-Western-Wear/ Independent Riders Bike Night Live Music, Door Prizes, Food & Drink Specials, at The Regency Athletic Resort, 8068 Mountain Rd. Niagara Falls. www.independentriders.ca

Clare’s Niagara’s Bike Night “The Tradition Continues” Different Guest Clubs and Entertainment Every Thursday until August 27th. Check the weekly events at www.claresharleydavidson.com

Every Staurday

Welland County M.C. Dirt Track Racing Welland County Speedway, 603 Netherby Rd. Welland. Fun for the Whole Family. More info contact: 905-734-7058 or 905-686-3422 or www.WellandMotorcycleClub.com

& Zuber Company LITIGATION

COUNSEL

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Certified as a Specialist in Civil Litigation

Free Consultation Personal Injury Disability Claims Medical Malpractice Tel: 416.362.5005 Fax: 416.362.5289 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 4

Email: dzuber@zubco.com Website: www.zubco.com


Do you Like Biker Movies? Keep an eye on Smiley & Co.’s Facebook Group for upcoming dates of Smiley & Company’s Famous Movie Nights. See what’s playing at facebook.com/smileyandcompany

June

June 27th- 1st Annual Moose Riders St Catharines Show& Shine/Dice Run

92 Permilla St. St. Catharines, $20 Entry Free, Breakfast starts at 9am, 50/50 Draws, Horseshoe Pit, Free Camping, and The Music Starts at 7pm with The Brant Parker Blues Band, for more information contact 905-682-7207

June 27th- Lucan Harley Pulls

At the Lucan Community Centre, The Excitement starts at 5:30pm. For more details check www.hogtowncycles.ca

June 27th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Rides to Bala, Ontario

Departing at 9:00am from Jacox Harley-Davidson®. Please RSVP our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763 by Friday June 26th.

June 28th- Merrickville Bike Show In Merrickville, Watch The Rider’s Mag Eastern Ontario on Facebook for more details. June 28th- Run to the North Wall XX Staging at Royal Canadian Legion Br. 594, 5030 Howard Ave Tecumseh, from 9-11am, Run leaves at 11:30 Sharp for arrival at The North Wall for the 12 Noon Service, Open House to follow at Legion Br. 143, 1570 Marentette Ave. For more Info: 519-256-6797

June 30th- Canada Day Celebrations, Fireworks and Free Concert

On the Main Beach in Goderich, Ontario. 8 pm - Featuring the original Eagles Tribute Band... ‘Hotel California. info at www. westcoastblues.ca.

July July 1st- Malicious Cycle’s Poker Run “The Canada Day Ride!”

Two locations The Gunners Club, 115 Henry St. Brantford and Brando’s, 135 Market St. Brantford. The Live Music starts at 2pm and goes until Dusk. Admission $10

July 4th- Strictly V-Twin’s Show N’ Shine

At 29945 Highway 48 in Pefferlaw, 11am til 2pm Ride in and Win, with over 150 prizes. For more information check out their website at www. strictlyvtwin.com or call 705-437-2291 on facebook.com/pages/Fred-Hale-Motors

Continued on Page 61

Meeting at The Rangers MC Clubhouse, 101 Union St. Toronto, Registration 11am a $10 donation, Kickstands-Up at Noon, Ride ending at Malicious Cycle’s Bike Night, 3595 St. Clair Ave. East, Scarborough. For more information call Bryan at 416666-5827

July 4th- Lincoln County M.C.Harley-Davidson Show & Shine At the L.C.M.C. Clubhouse, 4859 Hillside Dr. Beamsville. Gates open at Noon, Judging at 3:00pm, Awards at 4:30. $10 per entry, Trophies for the Winners. More Info: 905-563-4267 or email lcmc1967@hotmail.com

July 4th- Brant Gunners ‘Blues for Soldiers

Artillery C l u b THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 5


Cruising With Critter Well riding season 2015 has certainly started picking up speed and looking to shift to a higher gear although Mother Nature is doing everything she can to slow it down by providing record rainfall and such for us to ride through and dampening our environment but not our sprit. We are Canadian Bikers damn it! We know it is riding season by instinct and we will not be denied and while we may have to contend with the already too short a time that our climate allots us, we refuse to have it made any shorter by a little adverse weather.

I got the Trike out finally with my buddy, Bronson giving her the thumbs up after completing the long list of little things she needed to have done to her….for now! The final paint will have to wait until fall and I still want to put a reverse in her. Those parts have now been ordered and will be installed soon. I`m still thinking about going with a hand shift/foot clutch but that will also have to wait. I also took a ride up to Barrie to see Pez at Hog Tunes and he gave me a great deal on a new sound system that is designed to bolt right onto the Memphis Shade fairing, and yes Petoonia I got you some new speakers too. So I dropped Petoonia off for her turn at Spa treatment and rode the Black Bitch 3 home. I have lots of things in store for Petoonia this year and aside from the aforementioned speakers I have been picking up parts and goodies for her over the winter and working on

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things to give her a bit of a facelift this year. I had planned on doing a repaint for quite some time as the many miles we have racked up together over the last bunch of years have taken their toll. While we regard the stone chips along with scars in her various body parts left there from run-ins with hard headed bugs and an occasional bird as war wounds and signs of actual use, it is time to make her look pretty again and I’ll check out that new LED headlight that Daytona Power Sports in Weston sent me. Bad Bob along with Roger from Extreme Measures Custom Paint work magic with plastic, fibreglass, and paint, and either wanted to demonstrate their skills to me or they were just sick of listening to me whine about the cheap ass latches that Harley has used for years on their tour packs that I’m constantly replacing by doing a hardware upgrade on the tour pack. So Bob came by and scooped it up and took it off to the shop in Oakville where they have transformed what was a tired, weathered, battered, bruised, well used and abused, but for me, essential piece of hardware into an even more practical thing of beauty. Now I couldn’t put that back on her without doing the rest of her so the search went on for new body parts to complete the new look. I had thought about changing the fairing entirely and had even spoken to John at Motorcycle Enhancements about possibly going with one of his great ME Batwing Fairings (They actually look like Bat/Dragon wings.) but that would require me to change the inner fairing as well. I’d lose all the history in the many support stickers from all the different clubs and organizations some of which are irreplaceable, and cover it. Besides I already had a spare fairing up on the shelf at Bronson’s that my friend Gerry Hurren up in Beaverton had given me a couple of years back so I opted for a repaint of that instead. I also sourced out some new side bags with the help of Fred Hale. Bad Bob and Roger painted them black as well. The tank and fenders were OK so I will leave them alone. Now I spoke to my Brother CB and he agreed to once more help me lay out some flames and it was an absolute pleasure to once again sit, talk and work together over some cold 50 working on a bike that we have painted many times since I got her new in 1995. Our conflicting schedules have kept us apart quite a bit the last bunch of years so this was a refreshing and much appreciated afternoon. She used to be white and gold but I knew when I bought her that that would be changed real soon. CB and I have painted her every couple of years since and she was now overdue. I masked the rest and applied the purple pearl paint with my airbrushes and am now doing the artwork. Then it is off to get cleared and back to Bronson’s where we will tear the old parts off and put on the new and add all the other goodies that I have been accumulating. She will be back on the road sharing duties with Black Bitch 3 in the not too distant future. I’m get-


Baconfest.pdf 8 17/06/2015 12:58:53 PM

ting pretty damned excited! This has been a very busy season so far and while we make every effort to get someone out to cover all advertised events we must face the fact that we simply can’t get to everything as our volunteer crew’s time is stretched to its limits at times. This month we were unable to get to several like The Full Throttle Poker Run in New Hamburg but we spoke to Danny who was going to try to get some pictures to us and an account of the day’s events. OutSpoken Calendar Shoot I had attended the grand opening OutSpoken store after speaking to Brian about doing some advertising. I was under the impression that it was a detailing shop and was unprepared for what I discovered. Our “Mag Hag” AKA Terrible Tanya along with her faithful sidekick, Scott had volunteered to cover the event but I wanted to check it out as well. So Petoonia and I rolled on over on a beautiful afternoon to Uxbridge to check things out. The place was really hopping and the lot was packed with bikes and people, dignitaries and press. I found a spot for Petoonia to wait for me and wandered on in to find that Tanya and Scott had things well in hand on their first official assignment. I was really impressed with the shop itself

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and even more so with owners Brian and Olga who were being kept very busy, tending to details and were in full meet and greet mode. I wandered a bit talking to many friends who had also come to check the place out. Tina from Big Brothers/Big Sisters was there promoting their upcoming event and had a great display. I checked out some of the other vendors and grabbed a hot dog from the Barbecue area and talked with more friends along the way including Attila former owner of Freak’N Leather who is now owner of Snapd from Stouffville. It was great to spend some time with him and catch up on changes in his life of which I was unaware. He seems to be doing well. I still had other things to do that day and with The Hag and Scott having things under control, headed out, and fully intending to get back there soon to talk to Brian when he wasn’t so overwhelmed in celebration of a new a promising business. When I offered to Calendar feature to Brian he jumped on it and I was able to come back

Ride in Hoogs & Hot H ott Rods Rodds Show

Vendor Village & Lots to see and do

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even sooner than I had thought. I picked our model Clara up at her home which was just around the corner from my place which was convenient and headed for Uxbridge. We found Brian and Olga busy getting things in order which was a tall order since they were in the midst of renovations as they were expanding the shop and showroom evidenced by the heavy smell of fresh paint that hung heavy in the air and all the ladders brushes and rollers along with the lovely Louise paint brush in hand who was hard at work making the new addition look good. I love the smell of fresh paint early in the morning! It smells like progress!

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Royal Br. 559 Canadian Lisle, Legion Ontario 5th Annual Motorcycle

Show & Shine

Saturday July 11th, 2015 8439 Main Street West Lisle, Ontario Registration: 10 AM

Music

BBQ

50/50

All On The Largest Patio in Ontario Classes include: Foreign, Ladies, Radical, Paint, Chrome, Vintage, Trike, American, Stock and Peoples Choice.

very motivated folks with definite plans to not just maintain the business, that is sure to be welcome in this town where nothing like this has existed before, but to expand and improve it. They have a whole lot of other stuff that I had yet to see like that “Biker Bar” which really intrigues me as I’m looking to get a trailer soon and this thing looked like it could be the cat’s ass. I’ll let you know when I investigate it further. Any how we all had other things to do and Clara and I headed back to Newmarket and left Brian, Olga and Crew to get back to the renovations. Stop in sometime and check them out. St. Jacobs 1st. Annual Swap Meet Although they were calling for even more heavy rain to add to what we’d had already been receiving, it was an absolutely gorgeous day and would have been a nice ride except Petoonia was still lacking her tour pack which is essential to carry my gear and I refuse to even think about strapping on a back pack or bungee cording a milk crate to the back, so I loaded up The Black Bitch 2 and headed out. I picked up Dangerous Doug on the way and we were off to the wilds of St. Jacobs to check out the first annual swap meet. We rolled in around noon to find the Swap meet in full swing and found a spot to park in the field. Judging from the number of vehicles they were having a decent turn out. There were even a number of bikes out.

All Makes & Models Welcome More Info Call: 705-424-2995 lisle.legion@gmail.com We got busy doing the shoot and Clara was a real treat to work with and we breezed through the many shots and wardrobe changes with ease. I got to talk to Brian and Olga at length during the wardrobe changes and found them to be really interesting and

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We made our way into the corral set up that contained a decent number of vendors and dropped off a bundle of Mags at the reception table. I ran into Garnet, one of the organizers, who was busy getting things in order and he was happy that we had come out. He had a couple of vendors who were no shows and could have used a few more but for his first event, was fairly satisfied and intends to do it again next year. He said that the crowds would rise and fall like the tide but he saw a lot of smiling folks carrying things out and the vendors all seemed to be happy. It was apparent that that the forecasts of shitty weather may have played a hand in less than expected attendance but he pointed out that they could move it inside if they wanted because they had a couple of options at their disposal, if that was necessary, but people need to know that there are wet weather


provisions that can be put in place in short order. Consider it done! It was real nice to have it outside in the fresh air and sunshine though. We wandered through talking to various vendors and picking through all the great offerings on the tables. I spotted several items that I wanted right off the hop, picking up a Big Daddy Ed Roth, Rat Fink t shirt and some more bling for Petoonia. One vendor, when I asked him how the Swap Meet had been for him smiled broadly and motioned to the near empty table in front of him and said that it had been full to overflowing when it started that morning. He said that he was under strict orders to bring nothing back and he was obviously taking that seriously! I wish now that we’d got there earlier. There was a very great display of T shirts commemorating D Day, The Devils Brigade and other military divisions and events that really caught my eye so I decided to check it out. It was run by a very interesting and knowledgeable gentleman by the name of Joe Wilson. He distributes a line of D Day Wear out of his company Attitudes and Ideas Inc. in Guelph that was extremely appropriate with the Anniversary of D Day close at

hand. His booth was getting a lot of attention as the shirts were really quite unique and he had lots of other fascinating items as well. I hope to see him out at other events in the future. I ran into lots of people that I knew as we made our rounds and all in all it was a great outing and I think for a first time event it was a damn good start. There was also a side attraction to the event as in the adjacent field a bunch of R/C planes soared through the air with some obviously skilled pilots manning the controls below. Judging from the maneuvers that they had those aircraft perform this wasn’t their first rodeo. It was all very entertaining. We loaded up the truck with our treasures and headed for home. Good event folks! See you next year!

R R

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Ride for Lupus I headed out again, taking the truck as I wouldn’t be able to go on the ride as I had to pick up Petoonia’s newly upgraded tour pack from Bad Bob and Roger down at Extreme Measures in Oakville but wanted to get out and see Jen off on their venture as she is such a trouper and an inspiration. She has gone through Hell with this disease and done it with a constant smile and a great attitude. I ran through rain here and there and it appeared that the weather forecasts of heavy rain throughout the day may have been accurate. I arrived at the Legion to find the spacious parking lot filling up fast and a constant stream of bikes told me that these were hard core riders who weren’t going to let a little weather keep them at home, in fact this annual ride was run one year in the snow. But for now the skies had cleared and it looked promising. I went inside to find Jen and her crew which included her Mom and Dad who have been a constant support mechanism for Jen throughout her long battle with Lupus. I must admit that it is a disease that until meeting Jen I had no Idea what it was and apparently I’m not alone in

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my ignorance which is the purpose of Jen’s efforts. To raise awareness and to aid in fundraising. The auditorium was filled with folks working the registration tables and those registering or milling around the silent auction tables getting some advance bidding in on an impressive array of items. They had some vendors both inside and out displaying their wares. Just then our Ravishing Roving Reporter from the wilds of Owen Sound, the legendary “Sticker Chick” (AKA “Two Bucks” to some of us), rolled in and I knew that Jen and Company would get the coverage that they deserved. So I will cut off here and let “Sticker Chick” cover the rest of the story. I said my goodbyes and after seeing them off continued on to Oakville to retrieve Petoonia’s tour pack so I could continue with her rejuvenation and beautification and get her back on the road. Kawartha Kids Ride 2015 It was a nice bright day although somewhat cool as I made my way to Lindsay with the Trike out for its first riding event of the year and she ran like a dream. I arrived at The Airportview Restaurant to find a huge array of motorcycles and people gathered out front. It was hard to miss with the fire truck out front with its lights flashing and the crew in orange shirts directing me in. The Black Bitch 3 garnered a lot of attention as we pulled in and I was peppered with questions about her. She is certainly doing the job that I expected her to do when we built it. It hauls my gear Mags magazine racks and me around in style and comfort. As soon as I get the tunes happening and the reverse gear installed I will be pretty much finished. Joe came over to say hi and explain what they had on the agenda.


Attendance was down a bit from last year but it was still a good turnout, with all The Renegades MC there along with members of the Red Line MC, The Redneck Rebels, The Aces and Eights MC, and The Phantom Horsemen MC. They had a huge crew of supporters out to see that everything ran smoothly and it seemed that everywhere you looked there was a least one orange shirt. I wandered through the crowd, running into a whole lot of friends and getting some pictures before sneaking in a bit of breakfast

and a much needed coffee. Word went out that we would be leaving for the parade portion of the day and we mounted up and were escorted through town by the police then back to the Airportview Restaurant before heading out on the Poker Run. The route had changed a bit from last year but it was an excellent ride out through some really great roads with spectacular scenery and with some really great people. Black Bitch 3 did a great job and handles really well on those twisty back roads and gave me no concerns whatsoever through the entire run. We ended back at The Airportview Restaurant where the barbecues were kept busy feeding this hungry crowd some great burgers, hotdogs, sausages and some fantastic pea meal sandwiches and fries. It was also time for a beer or two. They had a great array of items up on the silent auction table and there was some really great door prizes. I settled in for a while until Krazy Doug invited me back to The Renegade’s MC newly

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Telus Ride for Dad – Durham 2015 I was not going to be able to go on the ride this year as I had we had all of our volunteers off on other assignments or unable to cover anything due to other commitments leaving me with five events still needing coverage and they were really scattered around the Province. I knew that I would be able to cover two or three of them and possibly four of if I governed my time well. So I headed across to Port Perry and wheeled the Trike into the huge parking lot of The Scugog Recreational Centre to find it jammed packed with a sea of motorcycles fire trucks, police cars and lots and lots of people. “Wow!” I thought to myself “This is really growing!” Of course the beautiful weather didn’t hurt a bit either. I parked at the side of the building explaining to organizers that I would be unable to go on the ride itself but would cover the opening speeches and see them off. Again, the Trike was getting a lot of attention.

opened Clubhouse and I followed him over there where I was shown around and was given a nice cold 50. The official opening was the previous weekend but I had been unable to make it over for it but they said that it was really well attended by representatives of many Clubs from all over the Province. They have done a great job on the house and are extremely proud of it. It was a fantastic day spent with some truly amazing people doing a great job for a fantastic cause. Thanks everyone! See you next year.

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 12

I wandered through the crowds, getting some pictures and talking to the riders and the organizers about the ride. Members of the 1st Cavs were doing their usual great job of keeping things orderly and I was happy to see my friend Judith and a great representation of the Red Knights out in support of this ride once again. When I got back to the Trike I found a framed Certificate of Appreciation from The Ride for Dad organizers propped on the seat. Thank you all very much! We were called back inside where the speeches were about to begin and we all gathered around and a number of people spoke of the strides that have been made in the fight against this disease and stressing how important it is to be tested regularly. Details of the ride were discussed outlining changes to the route and so on and stressing that safety and common courtesy would be the rule of the day. At that the massive crowd moved off to their


ally happy to see them get the attendance that they have and am proud to play some role in that achievement. Red and White Toronto East Annual Show and Shine 2015

motorcycles and prepared for departure. I positioned myself across from the driveway and snapped pictures of the pack as they were escourted through the streets of Port Perry by Police and Fire Trucks and then off on what promised to be a great ride. I would have loved to go along with them but I had a very busy day ahead of me. This is a great cause and I’m re-

It was a spectacular day. Not too hot and definitely not cold with lots of sun and picture perfect for a Motorcycle event. I rolled into the large property to find a good sized crowd already gathered and were milling around the grounds. I parked then headed out to check things out. This is always a really well attended event as they get huge support from all over with large representation from Clubs from across the Province and beyond in attendance. Ace and Eights MC, Red Devils MC, The Rangers MC just to name a few and lots of just riders were all enjoying the day, the food and the pleasure of each other’s company. They had some pretty girls washing bikes, barbecues serving up some really great food that was not the usual event fare but corn on

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 13


the cob and other tasty treats and a had great selection of support gear displayed for sale. It was nice to see Lois from Mid USA out with some products for sale as well. There were lots of great looking bikes entered and choosing a winner would be difficult to say the least. I was surprised to see my old buddy Piper and his lovely lady Pat out for the day. Piper and I had worked together for a lot of years and shared lots of good times but busy lifestyles and conflicting schedules have made getting together very rare occasions. I tracked down Brian who is always busy and he took the time to tell me about this one bike that they had built for one of their girls Angie who is has been diagnosed with terminal Cancer which has spread through her body and will. It is a fact and a fate that she has resigned herself to and has accepted but she is determined to squeeze all the life out of the time she has left and

Brian and the guys from Malicious Cycle and Clothing are determined to help her in any way they can. Fulfilling one dream in particular was on their agenda, the dream of riding her own motorcycle and while the doctors may be unable to save her life they intend to make her time here on Earth as good as they can one dream at a time. They built her the bike at cost and did a lot of modifications to it so she could ride it and Wizard Air Brush studios added some finishing touches to the artwork on the tank by changing the horse that was there already to a Unicorn with a long flowing yellow, teal and orange mane. The colours represent the three types of Cancer that she has. I spoke to Angie about her struggle and about the bike and the great people that have her back and are helping her get through it. Diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in March 2013, then terminal Cancer in March of 2015 and then March of this year she was told that her Cancer was growing again and spreading rapidly. Despite this, she has maintained a great attitude and a great spirit and she is a great inspiration. Her bike won in the Show and Shine and she and the great crew were just beaming with joy and pride and they have every right to be proud. I’m proud as Hell to know you. The judging was done, the draws were drawn, and I got pictures of all the winners and it was time to head for home. So I said my goodbyes, loaded my camera into

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the back of the Trike and headed north. Great event! See you next year. Bacchus Show and Shine – 2015 It was a cold dreary, drab, morning weatherwise, with no real prospect of it materializing into anything better and would likely get worse before it got better as I mounted up on the Trike and headed towards Hamilton where Bacchus MC were holding their Annual Show and Shine. It did get worse as I made my way across a few splatters turned to a fine drizzle, then to light rain to heavier rain then to an all-out downpour and I finally stopped under a bridge and put on my trusty drover coat then continued on my way to the CH. As I came along Beach Blvd. I saw several unmarked but obvious police vehicles heading in the opposite direction. “Too wet for them I guess.” I said to myself and when I got to Arden St. there was no visible police presence at all. I guess they figured that Mother Nature was already raining on the parade they could go for doughnuts or something. I rolled down the street stopping to register the Trike noting that despite the rain they still had a decent turnout and bikes lined both sides of the street as usual. I parked grabbed my hat and tucked my camera under my Drover coat in an effort to keep it somewhat dry and wandered off onto the rain soaked streets to get some shots and meet with the hearty soles who were determined to have a great time no matter the weather. I was asked by two lovely ladies from the Southern Brothers if I had any Mags with me which I did, along with a stand up Magazine rack but it was too wet to put them out in it. Then they volunteered to hand them out for me and made very short work of three bundles. Thank you ladies very much. I found Bad Bob standing under a tree enjoying the day and some conversation with some of the other attendees and then Mad Mike our other cartoonist found us and completed our

Riders Mag team for the day. Like I said, they had a good sized turnout considering the weather with lots of Clubs represented, like the Amigos, The Paradice Riders MC, The Hells Angels MC, The Outlaws MC, The Devils Regiment MC, The Brotherhood MC, The Regulators MC, The Royal City Riders, and The southern Brothers who all thumbed their collective noses at Mother Nature and her bitchy attitude. As usual, the Clubs neighbours come out to enjoy the annual event. The rain was persistent and Ray told me that they would be wrapping things up a bit early as the real heavy stuff was due to hit the area later that afternoon. I had time to grab one of the great burgers being churned out by the barbecue crew before Ray’s booming voice beckoned us to the front of the CH for the award presentations and the draws. The Club has being holding this event for years in support of the CNIB and donated lots of money to that o rga n i zat i o n who always have had someone from the CNIB there to accept. This year regional politics reared its ugly head and the Club was told that they would no longer accept the money because they are a 1% Motorcycle Club. Ray being the statesman and diplomat that he is, told them to go fuck themselves and PARTS, ACCESSORIES, AND INSTALLATION they gave the donation to City Kids to help them do the fine and much needed work that they do. The draws were drawn and the winreceived WE CAN KEEP YOU ners their trophies. RIDING ALL YEAR I was given the list of winners ROUND! but it has been WE’RE HERE ALL YEAR temporarily misplaced either in STOP IN AND SAY HI some pocket of CUSTOM WORKS something I was MTO Certified Shop wearing that day it has gone 7 MAIN STREET EAST SELKIRK ONT. N0A 1P0 or into hiding un-

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 16


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der the piles of paper, old Mags, New Mags, bills both paid and unpaid, motorcycle parts the odd dirty dish that has found refuge from the dishwasher and other assorted crap that cover my desk. I am sure it will turn up when I wear whatever jacket I was wearing again or clean off my desk and I will correct my blunder at a later date. My apologies to all concerned. Surprisingly though the rain did start to let up for a while just at the end so local riders had a brief window of opportunity to get home without getting totally soaked or wetter than they already were. I saddled up and headed for home but the brief window for me was very brief indeed but the Trike really seems to like the rain and handles the slick, wet roads with ease. It was a great day with spent with people who rock come rain or come shine! See you all next year.

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rclmtforest134@wightman.ca www.mountforestfireworks.ca THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17


RIDE2REACH

2015

by Big Scott

With all the goings on at The Mag Critter needed someone to cover an event in Oakville as all the other volunteers were busy covering all the other events, so he asked The Mag Hag and I to take a trip out to Motorcycle Enhancements and cover the 3rd Annual Ride 2 Reach Event. I say event because it is not just a ride but more of a carnival atmosphere. The Mag Hag brought along her 9 year old daughter Bean (Samantha) to assist with the day and to meet Panda. We knew we had arrived at the right place when we saw the arch of black and white balloons reaching across the parking lot with a huge line-up of bikes marshalled to ride through. The three of us wandered around taking pictures and meeting some of the local businesses that came out to support the event. Tara from Plum Catering was tempting everyone with tasty samples, which I had no problem devouring and wanting seconds. I eventually found John Consentini in his shop surrounded by riders, shaking hands and thanking everyone for attending. Kickstands were up at 10:00 sharp and The Mag Hag, Bean and I headed off to the first stop to get some pics of the pack arriving.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 18


We got back to Motorcycle Enhancements just after 1 for the Show and Shine, BBQ and Live Entertainment portion of the day. Power Glide was rockin out and the volunteers were everywhere, selling 50/50 and setting up some games to keep everyone busy. The Toonie and Loonie toss seemed to be very popular, with the bottles going to the winners. John has been chairman of Ride2Reach for a little while and made a few changes to the ride to try and make a good thing even better. Well by the size of the turnout I think he nailed it this time. About 150 rider rumbled through the back roads all in the name of charity, and that’s what it’s all about.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 19


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Heads-up! Don’t order the stew! Whatever that last chunk of meat he cut up and threw in the pot was real flat, had tire tracks on it and he was holding his nose while he cut it up!

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 20



Fighting for Your Rights The OCC 2015 Annual Unity Ride was a remarkable success. The weather was outstanding, the turnout was impressive, and the route was both picturesque and challenging. The ride assembled at the Port Dover Legion, where old friends embraced old friends and new friends embraced new friends, before riding out in one long line totaling 146 motorcycles. The route, a smorgasbord of twisting bends and long flat stretches, followed the shoreline of the sparkling waters of Lake Erie as our caravan pressed hard towards our destination. Some found the pace too swift for the sweeping curves and there were a couple of spills but both riders and their bikes were able to finish the ride. Due to those unplanned delays, the column was severed and we were forced to make a pit stop in Port Burwell to regroup. There was no Road Captain so I persuaded Swyney of the Boozefighters M.C. to lead us to our destination in London. He was up for it and got us there within our scheduled arrival time. Thanx Brother for steppin’ up! A huge “Slap on the Patch’ to the Iron Sirens R.C. for organizing the day and a special ‘Thumbs Up’ to the Bad Examples R.C. for blocking which, for the most part, maintained the integrity of the ride. Not an easy task with so many machines in the line. And a resounding ‘BRAVO’ to all the participants for makin’ Unity Ride 2015 a shining example of mutual respect amongst the clubbers of Ontario. All in all, a very amazing day ‘cuz it ain’t a road trip without getting’ lost or someone breakin’ down, Eh Ollie! Why is the Unity Ride such an important event? In a word . . . WACO! Before I expand on the why – we need to illuminate a couple of important facts - 1) currently, the Confederation of Clubs is organized and operating in 65 locations throughout North America. 2) all COC’s are administered by volunteers aka biker advocates, who labor tirelessly in an effort to protect and maintain the rights of bikers in a political system, which (for the most part) is determined to vilify all bikers based upon Law Enforcement propaganda and the entertainment industry’s distorted and sensationalized portrayal of our lifestyle. OK, that said, back to the “Why is the UR important?” Every year, in the third quarter, the UR culminates with the OCC quarterly meeting. This structure mirrors exactly the ‘what and why’ bikers were gathering in Waco. Law Enforcement was notified (early on) that a TXCOCI meeting was going to be held at that location and was positioned en masse long before the bikers arrived. These are the verifiable facts and reports on what followed are extremely distorted and unsubstantiated

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 22

with Rooster

so I will not comment further on the events that unfolded. The ensuing group arrest of 170 bikers also included many TXCOCI members and volunteers who were on site to attend the meeting. It doesn’t stretch the imagination to symbolically mesh the Unity Ride and the Waco tragedy in order to conclude that events such as the UR are necessary to demonstrate that bikers can socialize together under a common objective. Some in our lifestyle are quick to remark that “the OCC is bullshit!” To the impatient, I can only comment that – to cause political change is an extremely time consuming task, which is fraught with disappointment and rejection. Know this; today there are many, many advocates all over North America who are fighting very hard to preserve the biker lifestyle. They are bikers, just like us, who populate the activist army of COC volunteers. They are the many courageous bikers that form the US Defenders. They are the dedicated executives of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists. They are the numerous members of the American Motorcycle Association. And they are the countless members of the many chapters of local, grass-roots, organizations scattered throughout our lifestyle, which are firmly dedicated to the preservation of our rights and freedoms. All of these ‘freedom fighters’ believe that doing nothing is not an option and are committed to the long haul . . . even to the point of incarceration or death! “First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me”. - Damian Niemoller Today, in the USA, there is a determined effort by the federal government, backed by extensive funding and the brightest legal minds of the 21st century, to strip away the trademark protection that safeguards many 1% M.C.’s symbolic patch from unauthorized misuse. If this court action is successful then it is only a matter of time before all patches will have no protection and, ultimately, no value. Beyond that, it’s no stretch to envisage that our way of life will become extinct. The Ontario Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs & Independents is pressing forward following a very productive meeting. Plans are being formed to expand the biker public image beyond the stereotypical characterization that all motorcycle clubs are hotbeds of criminality. How can you become a player and contribute to the preservation of a special society which has always signified freedom? A good start would be to . . .attend OCC member club’s fundraising events. . . Talk to OCC members – contrary to the myth – you will not be assaulted. . . Join the OCOMC&I (Ontario Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs & Independents) - $25.00 gives you Independent Member status then the rest is up to you. Visit www.occ4u.org to download a membership application. Larry Lilly aka Rooster OCC Treasurer treasurer@occ4u.org @roostahrider


Flat

For those of you that read the past issue we talked about how Flat Track was being reintroduced in a big way becoming part of the X-Games. Overall the show looked great and was a good experience for viewership. To the diehard race fans, the track seemed rough but they were pretty lucky to run considering the crazy rain Texas received the week prior. Doug Lawrence competed in the X Games to represent Canada bringing home a respectable seventh place finish. After the event Lawrence flew out of the airport in Austin Saturday morning to come home and race at his favorite track in Welland, Ont. Doug brought home back to back wins in the expert classes of Flat Track Canada’s Championship Series. For Flat Track, being part of the X-Games is monumental in the future of the sport. Obviously the TV coverage ESPN and ABC provided was great which helps reintroduce the sport to a younger demographic. With great spin off events that are recognizable world- wide, it will continue to build momentum. The beauty is flat track is simple and anyone virtually can do it, therefore there was a really cool crossover event introduced in Spain a couple of years ago called the Superprestigio. The Superprestigio event was in a stadium and featured top invitational racers in road racing and flat track. Each of the racers would compete against each other in their own disciplines qualifying for what they

Tracking

by Aaron Hesmer

call the Super Finale. The Super Finale consisted of top racers like Marc Marquez, Jared Mees and Brad Baker. Absolutely exciting and drew a lot of hype. So now on the horizon for this fall is the Superprestigio of the Americas taking place in Las Vegas, NV and will feature racers from all types of disciplines of the motorcycling industry. They’ll be inviting riders from motocross, supercross, enduro, supermoto, road racing and even speedway. Many people have been saying it would be really cool to have a Superprestigio of our own here in Canada. I couldn’t agree more… stay tuned… Photos by ©Randy Wiebe

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 23


RIDE FOR THE FUTURE 2015

by Greg

This was another great success for the 9th Annual Ride For The Future put on by Shelly (organizer of) and the Dunnville Hospital & Health Care Foundation. The weather was fantastic. At registration everything ran smooth and very organised with goodie bags for everyone, plus Coffee, Timbits, juice, water & fruit was available to ward off hunger. Riders came from all over the Golden Horseshoe and beyond. From Cambridge, Burlington, Hamilton, Selkirk, Port Dover & The Niagara Peninsula, they all came to support this great cause. None of us want to have to be in the hospital but paying if forward by helping the “Ride For The Future” sure feels like the right thing to do. There were Bikes & Trikes, Hondas & Harleys the whole community came out to help. Larry & Judy Taylor of Port Dover showed off their new 110 Screaming Eagle and loved all the attention. Enough small talk… Lets Ride. About 10:15 first group saddled headed out, followed by group 2 at 10:25, & group 3 at 10:35, it went like clockwork. You could tell that the organisers had done this a time or two before. The ride was 80 km through the surrounding countryside, as scenic a ride as I’ve ever taken in Southern Ontario. Great views all the way through, nothing boring about this ride. There were 165 Riders and Passangers in the run & 180 people for a great perch dinner/lunch provided by the Thirsty Mate Minor Fisheries. Four big pieces of perch and all the fix in’s, sitting in the sun with a great view of the harbour, enjoying the food and the company, it doesn’t get much better than that. Door prizes (too many to list) signaled the end of the ride. The smiles on the faces of the other riders, as we mounted up to go Mention This Ad home, said it all.

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Great Day… Great Ride… Great Food… & Great People, this ride is a must for your spring riding calendar. Thanks to Shelly and her Crew of volunteers for one of the best events so far this year. They have set the bar high. I can’t wait till next year Almost $7,000.00 was raised for the Foundation’s Endowment Fund, which will help in keeping the Haldimand War Memorial Hospital operating in this local community. Shelly and the DHHJ would like to thank all the participants as well as all their sponsors; Thirsty Mate Minor Fisheries, The Mattress Man, Selkirk Cistern Cleaning, Werner’s Radiator Clinic, Grand River Heating and Cooling, local SubWay, Rodz & Rides, Dunnville Auto Wreckers Limited, local Tim Horton’s, Pete’s Car sales, Haldimand Home Respiratory Service Inc., and Frank’s Home Hardware.

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 25


IN THE WIND POKER RUN

When Critter asked if I could cover the In the Wind Poker Run on Saturday, May 23rd, I was pleased to be able to go visit an old friend. I’ve known Pete, who has organized this run since 1999, for a number of years. He first started this run in Beamsville at Walsh’s, a popular biker stop on the #8. After a few years Pete move the run to Fugly’s on Bunting. The starting point this year was at Fat Cat’s Bar & Grill on Rockwood Ave. in St. Catharines….or Merritton for the old timers. I rode in at about 11am to a very busy parking lot…..

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 26

by Rose

lots of bikes scattered around and people registering out front of the bar. Pete and his lovely assistant Dianne were busy taking $10 for the Rider and $5 for the Passenger…..just like the flyer said…. Still the Cheapest Poker Run Around. There were a couple of young ladies selling 50/50 tickets and bikes kept rolling in. I talked with Pete for a bit and asked what his biggest turnout was. One year he had 185 people register at Walsh’s….now that’s a lot of bikes for a small parking lot. Pete said the police even helped out blocking for the group a couple of times. I ran into a lot of old faces…no offence by that…but over the years I forget names or they get blended in with others with the same name. Jim was standing next to his beautiful CanAm. He said he sold his corvette and wanted a bike so he chose a three wheeler. Quite a few ladies rode in and a few members of BRO rounded off the melange of bikers. It was lunch time so I went into the pizza side of the bar and got a $3 slice of pizza…it was big enough for a small family. Buck was sitting on the bar side and it was a pleasure to see him again after a number of years. More and more old friends came in for a pop since the run wasn’t leaving until 12:30. The prize table was stacked high with items and it was turning out to be a great day. Pete called for everyone’s attention and said they were leaving in 10 but they wanted to do the 50/50 draw before the ride just in case someone didn’t come back to Fat Cat’s. Yours truly drew the winning ticket….to be more precise, I put my hand in the bucket and a ticket flew out onto the ground…. Pete picked it up and lucky Rick won $160….Rick, I’ll have a Canadian draft…thank you. The run was advertised as no city riding and an all scenic country route and it lived up to that. First stop was He’s Not Here Bar & Grill on the Niagara Parkway near Fort Erie, then to the Palmwood Tavern in Crystal Beach…a favourite summer time stop. The third stop was at Stevie Nic’s Bar & Grill in Port Robinson and then back to Fat Cat’s. The ride was about 150 km and I would suggest to anyone coming into the area for a Sunday ride to try these biker friendly establishments for a fun run. Go well.


Shenanigans

LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOING! Where to begin....? Driving was much simpler years ago, fewer multi-lane roads, less traffic, less distractions, and less vehicle gadgets. Life moved at a much slower pace, stress was lower, and communication meant waiting to use a land line or to talk in person. People took care of personal hygiene and photos before they left the house, there were fewer fast food options, where they usually parked and ate. Children in cars, even without seat belts, minded their manners with the threat “IF I HAVE TO STOP THIS CAR...”, and pets were mostly reserved for the back of farm trucks, ears floppin, tongues lolling, and chops flailing in the wind. Fast forward.... Life in the fast lane so to speak, everyone is in a hurry, the traffic is insufferable at the best of times, and everyone seems to be caught up in the urgency and stresses of the here and now. There never seems to be enough time for some people, so make up application, shaving, hair and nails must be done on the run, and if it looks good, a selfie MUST be taken. CD players, rear facing dvd players, GPS, rear back up cameras and push button systems are pretty much standard in most vehicles. Cell phones, bluetooths, hands free systems, PDAs, tablets and laptops, now too add to the mix of things we just can’t seem to keep our eyes and hands off, even when driving. Now, there’s a coffee shop or food franchise on almost every corner, and we have adopted an eat and go attitude in our lives. Kids are kids, and when they are given something to keep them occupied, it usually keeps them quiet, but at the expense of having to listen to annoying sounds or songs, and even without the free range that we had, those buckled in little buggers are still a handful. It seems too, that everybody and their dog, has a lap dog, big or small, that they can’t possibly bear to leave home without, bouncing around from window to window, ready to defend their territory from outside influences. In the end....The amount of distractions is greater than I can list here, and the moral of my story, is that if people are being distracted, or aren’t concentrating when they’re Over 30 Years of driving, when are they watching the road??? No cell Winning Cases. call, status update, notification, newsfeed, or video is so urgent, that it can’t wait until they at least pull over. Next to bathrooms, car interiors are the worst backdrops for photos, and why are they weaving all over the road??? Free Consultation If they’re using two hands to No Fees Unless eat, and steering with their knees, where is the care and I Recover Money control??? If they’re trying to For You prevent WW3 from happening in the back seat because

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the kids are fighting, looking back at them in the rear view mirror, who is going to see the red light??? If Fido is hanging out the side window enjoying the breeze, how are they going to check their blind spot??? Minimize the distractions, as this is the leading cause of deaths on the roads, even surpassing DUIs. Driving requires our full attention, on a bike or in a car, it makes no difference, but as bikers, the odds are not in our favor. Be the example not the hypocrite. REMEMBER: In the immortal words of Jim Morrison “KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOUR HANDS UPON THE WHEEL”!

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(905) 826-3633 timleighbell@bellnet.ca THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 27


Joke

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. He says to himself: “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?” “Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.” “Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-two kilometres an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 28

Page

The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. “But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask. Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven’t made a peep this whole time,” “Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Highway 189.” I was reading an article last night about fathers and grandsons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my grandson out for his first drink. Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Molson Canadian. He didn’t like it, so I had it. Then I got him a Labatt Blue. He didn’t like that either, so I had it. It was the same with the Guinness and Harp Larger. By the time we got down to the whiskey I could hardly push the stroller back home. One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: Are you okay, what’s your name?” “Its Phil and I’m Okay thanks,” I replied. “Phil, forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get the cart up later.” “That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, but I don’t think my wife would like it.” “Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted.


She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive ... I was weak. “Well okay,” I finally agreed, and added, “but my wife won’t like it.” After a few restorative drinks, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host: “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.” “Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile: “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?” “Under the cart,” I said… A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters’ box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming “Run!!!” The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers “RUN!! RUN!!”. The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans. The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: “Walk.” The batter starts his slow trot to first base. The Scot stands up and screams, “Run ye lazy bastard, run!” The people around him begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down. A friendly fan notes the man’s embarrassment, leans over and explains, “He can’t run -- he has four balls.” The Scot stands up and screams: “Walk with pride, Laddie!”

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SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say “Congrats” But, none of them touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job” Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated. FIVE Other Simple Truths 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name. 3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk. Bonus Truth: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband. This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt thereafter. Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French law why he is going to be arrested. The Englishman answers with humour:

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 29


SHOP/BUILDER OF THE MONTH

OutSpoken Custom Cycle is a dream come true for Brian MacLean, Olga Leyenson and Bob Crosbie, and is filing a real need in the Uxbridge area for a great traditional Motorcycle shop with friendly, personal service and reasonable prices. Brian was a licensed electrician and was doing well with that as a trade but had also started an offshoot business where they outfitted custom luxury boats. Olga and Bob are both licensed paralegals. They have been riding motorcycles for many years. Due partly from the necessity of not having a local motorcycle shop and having to travel to outside communities to get work done, but mostly because they had a natural mechanical ability and just loved working on motorcycles and find the work satisfying, they have now found themselves on a different path. They were doing their own repairs and service, then friends and family started bringing their bikes around. Word soon spread and with there being no other motorcycle shops in town, news of a good wrench being close at hand, they were kept very busy. In fact the work was overwhelming in Olga’s garage at home. Thoughts of opening a good local motorcycle shop now seemed not only plausible, but doable and they have now

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 30

made it a reality. Doors opened in March of this year and they have already expanded into the next unit and haven’t ruled out the need for more space in the future as needs dictate and more space becomes available as the response from the riding community has been fantastic. It is a great looking shop with a real comfortable atmosphere that was not just by design and careful planning but it is the natural way that they do things. Being nice and courteous is second nature here, not pretentious or forced through some corporate edict as is the case at some dealership environments. Good, honest, quality service at fair prices is what they provide and the ability to get the job done in a reasonable time frame by qualified service staff is all that riders really want. OutSpoken services anything on two wheels or three (As long as the two wheels are to the rear of the front one) and work on all makes, Harley, Victory, Indian, Honda and whatever. They are especially good at solving electrical problems that can frustrate many an owner as well as many mechanics to no end. They outsource some of the major engine work


and have a huge network of qualified specialized shops to meet the needs of their customers. A good, working relationship has been established with other well known, established businesses such as Classy Chassis and AM Sales. OutSpoken even has some of their bikes displayed at their shop for sale. Brian hopes to one day, get his OMVIC license and expand into actual motorcycle sales for OutSpoken.

ally neat little item that I will be taking a closer look at myself called the Biker Bar. If you are out and about in the Uxbridge area stop in and check them out at 12 Douglas Road, Unit 5.

OutSpoken prides itself on doing excellent detailing and is also a dealer or distributor for many well-known and popular products like Amsoil, Wasp, Whoosh, Revco, Kuryakyn, Drag Specialties, Memphis Shades, Dimple, Arlen Ness and a re-

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Lord Protect

Lord, Protect us from the Wrath of the Norsemen The Lord’s Prayer has been shortened from times past. The prayer once included “Lord, protect us from the wrath of the Norsemen” (Vikings from Scandinavia). The King of England paid the “Dane geld”, which was yearly protection money to get the Vikings to bypass his kingdom on their yearly raids. The Vikings were a tough people whose motto was “one village at a time.” Who else would dare cross the North Sea and Atlantic Ocean in a sailboat with no cover in freezing rain looking for new land that they didn’t know existed? Yes, they discovered North America and settled Newfoundland, a province that looks like Norway and has much the same weather. If you ever ride Newfoundland, the odds are you will be cold and wet, perhaps encountering snow on your summer ride. Nothing much has changed. I travelled to Bergen, Norway to ride with the boys the length of Denmark, across Germany, down to Prague (Czech),

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through Bratislava (Slovakia), to Budapest (Hungary), then to Belgrade (Serbia), through Macedonia, and 400 kilometers across the beautiful Greek mountains to the Big Party on the exquisite island dotted, Aegean Sea. We returned through Venice, Italy, the Italian and Austrian Alps to Vienna, across a different Germany route, up Denmark and across to Norway for an 8000 kilometer ride. I think it was more like 5500 km but who knows as one day of riding merged with the next. We started out wearing every piece of clothing available, topped with rain gear, and full face helmets. Do this trip with a half helmet at your peril. As we progressed east and south, layers of clothing came off until wearing shorts. The return trip involved progressively replacing all our clothing as we returned to the formidable lands of the Vikings. Getting ready for my ride with the boys from the north in Norway to Corfu, Greece. I think Norway is as beautiful as our Newfoundland. It rains a lot in both places. I am of Danish heritage, so I will be riding with my Viking brothers south “looking for adventure and whatever comes our way” (Steppenwolf).

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The picture is a little deceptive as much of Norway is mountainous, rugged terrain, with massive ocean fjords penetrating, sometimes hundreds of kilometers inland. A simple ride that may only be 50 klicks as the crow flies can turn into a bike ride of hundreds of kilometers as the roadways must go around the majestic fjords. Bergen has a population of 300,000 spread over 50 kilometers on and around five low lying mountains.

Flying into Bergen Norway, north of Oslo. It isn’t raining....Yay! It is pouring by the time we land.


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Bergen clubhouse is a Cold War bunker built into the side of the mountain. It has a bomb proof 3 foot thick sliding front door (motor operated) if under attack. This is my home when not on the road. The clubhouse goes on forever into the mountain. The bike shop for member bikes is bigger than most clubhouses. Of course. it is for an army. There are escape routes and tunnels everywhere. I know I will get hopelessly lost if I wander too far from my bedroom on my first night.

Pictures do not do the clubhouse justice. There are 16 private bedrooms; 3 washrooms; 4000 sq. ft. for bike repairs; 2 bars; common rooms, offices, full kitchen, party places, and marble floors. There are tunnels, nooks and crannies everywhere. All of this inside a mountain. THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35


My 2015 Road Glide sits in the background. I feel like a softie. However, the ride is hard enough with this comfort. Christian is one hard assed motherfucker. He does not complain once. He doesn’t talk much period. He smiles shyly once in awhile to let me know everything is fine. He is a Berserker, which is a Viking term for the craziest of the crazy. Oh yes, all the comforts of home with heated marble floors. It might be chilly and wet outside but inside is comfy. There are no windows inside the mountain. It is hard to tell what time it is when waking up from sleep. We have special lights in the bedrooms that take an hour to reach full luminescence from off to dim to progressively lighter for the time set in the morning. Softly chirping bird songs accompany the soothing light as it brightens.

Our bikes in front of Bergen to Denmark ferry.

Bergen’s shoreline as we head south to Stavenger, Norway, then over to Hirtshals at the top of Denmark. I am in trouble. Eighteen hours on an ocean ferry with the boys. The party is on and the beer flowing. I am drinking Radical choppers are common in Europe. However, shooters....oh, oh! What will they make me do next? Looks like Don is being pushed out of his own way. Don these guys ride them everywhere. Christian rides this needs that. Evolution with a big gas tank so he will not slow us We ride 1100 km tomorrow and it is cold and fiercely down. He rides up to 8000 km on the trip between 120 raining. Maybe we aren’t riding that far tomorrow but have to kph and 145 kph. He broke down twice, repairing the make a Stop’n Go party with our guys in Belgrade, Serbia in bike by himself. No trucks for these guys. another four days. Problems…at least some pleasurable problems. We land at the northern tip of Denmark 18 hours later at 8 am. It is cold and raining with a light sprinkling of hail. We put all our rain gear on. My stuff is Mickey Mouse compared to the Europeans. They have rubberized boots. I have waterproofed my leather boots. It takes the relentless rain about two hours to negotiate its way through the plastic bags on my feet and then soak my socks through my waterproofed footwear. They have Kevlar pads inserted into their impenetrable rain coats and pants. I have a thin rain suit that does not add warmth. Warmth is important Private Sale or From A Dealership! when riding all day wet and cold. Reaction times slow as the body and mind numbs. All Makes and Models Thankfully, my bro Alex gave me a full face helmet before I left. I couldn’t have made the ride Dealerships Welcome with my half helmet. He knew that I was embarking on a monumental ride at high speed. I have good Call Guy Direct at (647)693-7547 friends that protect poor Don in a variety of ways. They think I am helpless. Email: guy@creditconnect.ca The ride down through Denmark is about 450

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Leaving Stavenger, Norway at sunset into the North Sea (Atlantic Ocean) for Denmark. kilometers before we hit the German border. Riding in the rain at 140 kph is possible with a full face helmet and impossible without. My shins started to hurt with piercing regularity. I had jeans and a rainsuit on. Surely, the rain was not heavy enough to cause this pain. I glanced at the road below my feet. Hail balls were hitting the highway and bouncing up against my shins. This did not slow the Europeans. We rode south another 200 klicks to Hamburg and turned left to Berlin, which was about 200 to 250 kilometers more. One of our guys, Robert gets sick after Hamburg. He feels awful and it is getting worse. We try to rent a hotel so he can recuperate. They are full. We corral him in between our bikes as we proceed to Berlin. He almost crashes but makes it. He is their oldest member at 52 but he toughs it out. We arrive at one of our

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Berlin clubhouses at 10 at night. It has been a long day. I am just happy that I made it to this historic city intact. It is not the 1100 kilometer ride planned but it was a long day through cold, wind, rain, and sometimes hail of vaying sizes.

The next installment is called “...and then we took Berlin.” We find a cure for Robert’s flu. www.donnypeterson.com

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Sticker

So here we go kids, keep your hands in the car, we’re gonna go real fast now! The May long weekend was a sketchy forecast but better to the east, which just happened to be where the Thundering Hearts MC Spring Bash was located. My friend Giant wanted to go for a long ride too so we met early in the morning and left on damp roads, riding into the sunshine exactly as planned. We met some of the Thundering Hearts in MacTier and they rode us up to the clubhouse just outside of Parry Sound. There was pork on the BBQ, a fridge for bevvies, shade, sun, picnic tables, friendly people, a movie car, and soon enough there were tunes as well. What a fun band! 1331 is their name which was quite fitting as one of my bikes is now 13 and the other 31. They were young but did the old tunes well with a real punk kinda feel, Headpins, Teenage Head, Ramones, and more! There were many fine and interesting folks there from the Ya-Yas to the no-nos to the maybes! It was a great group of people, very welcoming. I was even invited to sit in the $150,000 movie for a “photo shoot”, but of course it’s just a story . . . that picture didn’t turn out. There was also the cutest little guy running around taking photo ops on as many bikes as he could get lifted onto! Turns out the little guy couldn’t hear well and was slated for ear surgery the next week. I got the after surgery report from Dad who said “it went awesome, saying words like

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Stories

by Sharon

crazy an it was the funniest thing he farted and was looking all around an then he did it again an realized it was him”. Just warms your heart doesn’t it? There were tons of door prizes including a VERY nice fire ring won by Hugh. I won a subscription to Canadian Biker and their patch, we all got a good giggle out of that one! After a night of drinking and carrying on it was a pleasure to be put up in a spare room instead of camping! Morning came with Timmies delivered and homemade breakfast then back to the bash to collect our motorcycles. Many were still at the clubhouse in the morning so we hung out a while and checked out some of Randy’s sculptures. The Japtor is 100% jap motorcycle parts and was made about 8 or 9 year’s ago . There is also a Dragon by the water that was a bit winter beat at the time but has since been brought back to its glory. From the bash, a few of us rode to Bala to meet Susie for lunch. I learned that “Walk Like An Egyptian” is an actual signal for ahhhhhhhhhhhh fawk, construction again! I also learned that Andy really will go anywhere for wings and beer! We had a great lunch and visit, thank you Hugh for picking up the tab for everyone (I couldn’t spend money if I’d had it to spend). Thankfully Susie is back on two wheels again now and riding to events! We monkeyed around a bit in Bala and it was time to split up. I


took the long and windy roads home through Minden, just enjoying my time with the husband. The next weekend was the Queen’s Bush Poker Run in Hanover raising money for the Grey/Bruce Eat and Learn Program. Although I woke up to freezing cold, it was a favorite local run and promised to warm up over the day so I played along. Before I even got my land legs back I had already run into my old high school friend Tracey. It’s just bizarre how we didn’t even talk motorcycles in high school yet were both women riders in the 80’s when there were very few. This just proves once again that motorcycles really do keep old friends connected. This is one of those runs where everyone leaves in their own group. I often do this type of run backwards to avoid the bottlenecks. A few others did the same so it was definitely fun to keep running into the “backwards” people throughout the day. I ran into the Wild Hags again and joined them for supper under the big tent. It was a great day with fantastic roads, familiar faces, dear old friends, and even a few new backwards buddies! I’m looking forwards to the Queen’s Bush Fall Poker Run raising money for Autism. The Motorcycle Awareness

weekend was also the Queen’s Bush weekend. The run went north so I wasn’t able to stop in at any of the Motorcycle Awareness Rallies. This was the Saturday that LHSHR, ABATE, and CMC joined together to pull off several similar events in different areas. They staged mock accidents with the help of local fire departments. This helped to get attention, then once curiosity seekers got close enough the bikers gave them informative packages and talked to them about watching for motorcyclists, common dangers to motorcyclists, and useful information. The groups decided to try a stationary approach in large parking lots rather than a ride to actually touch base with drivers. The event got a lot of attention before, during, and after. There were many “Look Twice” signs in various counties throughout the month of May because of this effort. The mock accidents made many local papers including but not limited to the Goderich Signal Star and the Mitchell Advocate Local radio stations announcements and mentions were made throughout the month as well. These types of events truly matter so please do consider organizing one, participating in one, or supporting one in your area for May 2016. GT Cycle had another bike night in June with great weather so I stopped in there as well. It was great to run into Mrs. Al and Kathleen, the most photogenic couple in all of Grey Bruce. They are now engaged after dating for 100 years, kinda wonder if it could be

We can Install or You can Do it Yourself.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 39


too soon . . . . We finally found out who cleans the bike on the wall - it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s Mitch cleaning the bike! The next adventure was the Ride for Lupus. Another very sketchy forecast, sketchy enough to scare a few away but that Giant wanted to go for another ride so we left early again on wet roads that improved as we went s o u t h . Guelph is only a few hours, even a few hours in the rain could not compare to a day in the life of someone with Lupus. As soon as I pulled in I spotted my old friend Critter, wow, that made the sun shine! Believe it or not, I don’t see the mag people very much so it was really super to see ya Rick! When I went inside the hall the first thing I noticed was the quality of the door prizes, then I noticed the amount of door prizes! Jenn had her doctor and his assistant there as well. I found it really interesting to listen to the medical and somewhat technical side of Lupus, what a truly awful disease! After the speeches it was time to

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get riding! What a nice route around Flamborough and into Lowville! I heard many people say “I had no idea there were such nice roads around here . . . “ I knew there were because I used to ride them yet I had forgotten as well of how much fun those twisty skinny roads could be. Panda was also there so it was just a blast to see him all leaned into the side of that sidecar, tongue out, just having a blast. Panda didn’t care if it rained, he just wanted to ride!

Near the end of the run a bike had pulled off to the side from the ride so I stopped because I was near the end of the pack and nobody else had stopped. A few stopped once I did, but not before! (this never ceases to amaze me!). I don’t care if you’re riding with 100 bikes, you don’t just ride right by someone who is broken down, regardless of what they are riding and regardless of whether or not you have tools, just stop to see if you can help, this isn’t rocket science, it’s biker science! His chain had come off so he could


not move without a wrench or socket and didn’t even have a cell. We found the tools and got back on the road and back to the hall. Frank’s Magic Crops, Inc. The ride was just great, scenic, fun, dry until about 10 minutes from the end and then it came down in buckets. Everyone got back to the hall, some a bit damp, all in Owner Frank Pastor Jr. Horticulturalist Class III U of T good humor cuz really, the ride was great! We had some burgers and fries, free enOver 35 Yrs. Experience tertainment (great band), then it was time to dash between showers and dodge the raindrops home! It was a cold, wet ride for the latter part but nothing that couldn’t Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems be cured by Uncle Bailey’s hot chocolate! for Vegetables & Flowers The following Saturday was Dix’s Celebration of Life with the ride ending at Hellcat’s Chili Party. Almost 50 bikes left the property with some bikes splitting off to other destinations. The ride stopped in Wingham where a dozen more bikes from the Store Hours Huron ABATE Chapter met us to ride us to the Chili Party. This brought the number Mon. - Fri.: 11:00 - 6:00 back up to about 50 bikes. They arranged a real police escort to meet us at the edge Saturday : 11:00 - 3:00 of Clinton and bring us through the main intersection, you sure don’t see that often Closed Sunday anymore. It was pretty special to have the flashing lights in front of the ride instead of behind! As soon as we turned the corner to the clubhouse we could see there were plenty of bikes already at the Chili Party, they say there was 80 bikes altogether by the time E-mail : crops@cogeco.net the ride parked. Once parked, Spanky finally got a beer and started smiling again, the Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line effect was immediate! Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1

The Chili Party offered all kinds of Chili from “Squirrel” to “Baby Raccoon”. We ate chili, told lies around the fire, and passed gas. I stayed a little back from the fire for fear of the methane catching causing the fire to become on big blue angel. It didn’t but there were rumors of certain sleeping bags that were never to be used again! Hellcat reported that it was likely the biggest one in 20 years! Hellcat would like to thank everyone that blocked, made chili, kept the fire going, and just everyone in general! And we would all like to thank Hellcat for continuing the Chili Party tradition for all these wonderful years! Morning came and it was time to pack it up and head back to the grind. But first, I got an action shot of Hellcat riding old school in his crocs and jammies!

I really couldn’t have asked for better rides, better people, or better weather this month. Thank you to everyone who put me up and put up with me, you are all wonderful people and a helluva lot of fun! Thank you to all of my riding buddies for tripping with me and thank you all for reading these stories! See you in the wind!

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From Shovel to Glide

This month’s feature guy is Rocker, he hails from the Windsor area and his father was a serious rider so of course Rocker himself became a serious rider. He starting out riding an old shovel head that he acquired with the help of his father and local legend, and shovel head guy Rank from Kustom Bike shop.

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The best way to define Rocker’s riding is to say that he’s been about everywhere you can go and ridden at most of the big events that most riders aspire to. He rode Sturgis a number of times and ensured that he also covered Mount Rushmore and all the other surrounding areas. He has also made a few visits to Daytona and other big events.


I had been hearing a lot about the anniversaries of both Sturgis and Daytona coming up over the next few years but Rocker says that he is not into going just cause of something like that. He says that he’s been there as many times as his brothers were going when he could get away and do the ride. It was somewhat surprising to me that over all his years of riding this is only his third bike saying that after graduating from his original shovelhead that he had a 1992 softail for a number of years before he purchased his current 2006 street glide. Like most of us he has a number of friends who are border challenged and he says that he has ridden often down to the east coast of Canada saying that a number of his brothers own houses in the area and they usually try to make a ride down to the coast once a year to party and hang out for a while. One of the popular spots they like to ride to when they are in town is to the drag strips as they jointly own a drag bike and like to go out and compete at the track, at venues such

as Harleys by the Beach at Grand Bend which is a Rocky’s Harley-Davidson sponsored event for as long as I ran the mag and to the best of my knowledge that events continues on Father’s day even now. As for his current ride he says that he had the front end of the bike lowered an inch and a half with a race tech kit and put short shocks on the rear to give it that bold stance and the pirate themed airbrush on the fairing was done by former mag advertiser Dan Lessard. The crossed bones theme runs throughout his ride. When I asked Rocker what changes if any would he like to make to his current ride he says that in addition to adding some strategic chrome to the bike he is also kicking around a complete paint job for the bike. I asked him if he was ever to upgrade to another bike what sort of bike that would be and he responded quickly that if he ever upgraded from this bike he was definite that he would like a road glide which I understand these days is

one of the most popular of the touring bikes out there and they have recently added an ultra version to the repertoire of new FLT’s in the company’s lineup. I really should mention the beautiful lady modelling on Rockers bike is his wife Cindy. Those of you who are loyal readers may recall seeing her on her first bike way back in the spring of 2008, she too comes from a biking family and she actually scooped one of Rockers bikes for herself when he purchased a basket case Shovel that he was gonna fix up for himself. She bought the bike out and he built it for her instead. Cindy was terrific to come down to the riverside on a rather chilly April afternoon last year, decked out in her leather, to model on the bike especially when her band had a gig later that day and he sure didn’t want her catching a cold and being unable to sing right? She kinda fell into singing through some friends who knew she liked to sing and invited her to come out and sing with their band. She was a hit with the group and the fans and she became the lead singer of the “Purple Monkey Gang”. At that time they had a regular gig in town so if your down Windsor way check them out. When we did the shoot I did ask Rocker about his footwear, since most of us wear some sort of boot on our feet and he was wearing a pair of old school canvas lace up sneakers. He said yup I’ve been wearing hi top sneakers while riding my Harleys since I was 16 years old and it not’s changing at this point, right on!

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From Shovel to Glide

Owner: Rocker (Stacy King) City: Windsor GENERAL Fabrication by: HD Year & Make: 2006 Model: Street Glide ENGINE Displacement: 88 c.i.

Fo

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FRAME/SUSPENSION Year: 2006 Type: Street Glide Rake: stock ACCESSORIES

Bars: 14 Inch Ape Controls: Custom Chrome Pipes: Vance& Hines Big Fenders: Front Fatboy Radius FRONT END TRANSMISSION FORKS Year:2006 Type:Stock Type:Stock WHEELS & FENDERS PAINTING Size: 18 Painter: Goat Type: Twisted Spoke Colour: Balck Pearl Fenders: Front Fatboy Special Paint: Airbrush by Dan Lessard Model: Cindy


Bikers

Don’t Turn Over a New Leaf! Thank God we’re finally back into the full swing of the riding season with the myriad of motorcycle events put on by clubs and organizations! It was with great pleasure that I attended the Bacchus M.C. Show and Shine yesterday, greeting many friends and meeting new people. It’s great to meet guys from all the different clubs at this event that’s always well run, friendly, and there’s never any conflict, although the general public might expect otherwise... I wonder if anyone notices the irony that, at the end of the event, I, Pastor of Hamilton Bikers Church, rode out with the Devil’s Regiment M. C. as they headed back to their town. Some people used to worry about us riding with groups with Devil on their patches but I always cared more what the non Christians think of me than the “church goin’ good folk”... nowadays, all the pastors I know understand the ministry we’re involved in. Somebody’s gotta ride with the seemingly ungodly (you might be surprised how many bikers actually do have a faith base!) and be ready with some spiritual backup when they’re ready for it. So that’s what ALL the Bikers Churches do from Capital City right across into south and central Ontario. When you have a question or want a prayer for yourself or a friend, ask any one of us with a Biker Church patch on at any time. About this turning over a new leaf saying: it doesn’t usually work any better than most New Year’s resolutions. You know, like “I’ll quit smoking...lose a little weight...be nicer to my wife...or family and co-workers....” Most of these things need either a greater commitment than usual or work better if we have outside help. It reminds me of a time when a very high ranking religious official named Nicodemus visited Jesus under cover of darkness so his friends would not notice him.

Church

He admitted to Jesus that He must be sent from God because of all the good works He was doing. Then Jesus told this seemingly really good, religious guy that he has to be born again in order to belong to the kingdom of God! For the full story, I double dog dare you to read just some of John chapter 3! If you don’t have a Bible, any one of us can get you one but you can find it online easily nowadays... The Coles Notes version is that Nicodemus finally understood that what we all need is to be spiritually reborn inside, where our very soul lives. It’s so simple that it’s often misunderstood, like a lot of people think that they have to suddenly change their life and end up dancing and singing in some kind of gospel choir...not that there’s anything wrong with that... Here’s the key: For starters, just admit inside yourself that Jesus is the Son of God. Then, in your mind, or out loud, say that you want to part of God’s family. We all know (myself included!!) that we’re not good enough to be part of God’s kingdom on our own power but our ticket into this family has already been paid for! John 1:12 says, “But as many as received Him, to them He gave them the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.” Join us in spirit using this formula. We’ll work out details later when you ask us your questions. Meanwhile, like I said in last month’s article, exercise your spirituality and talk to God. H e ’ s always listening. Pastor Ken hamiltonbikerschurch.com 905-870-8584

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Summer Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-7 Sat. 9-4 Sun. 10-3 THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 45


Motorcyco Beau

Funny how we wait for summer to come and for the opportunity to get out and enjoy life and then I get overwhelmed at all the choices I have to make about which events I want to attend so many times I try to make it to more than one in the same day which only confirms the suspicions of those close to me that I must be brain dead. In late May I rode out to the town of Casselman where they had their 4th Annual Dice Run which they put on in support of their local air cadet squad and as in past years the turnout was excellent with riders from not only eastern Ontario region but a considerable number of bikes from Quebec. Denis Renaud is one of the founders and his organization of local volunteers saw to it that all the riders knew where they could park, where to register for the run and walked around reminding participants there was free coffee and donuts

available for them.Over the years it becomes evident that some shows get better and better often because they make sure that riders don’t have to wander around trying to find out stuff like where to sign up and etc, so let’s hope more events catch on to this idea and provide volunteers. After several hours of taking pics and chatting to people it was time to leave Casselman and head back into Ottawa to participate in the Denny’s Spring Classic Motorcycle & Car Show & Shine, that is held in the South Keys Plaza and hosted by The Celtic Brotherhood as part of their ongoing Brain

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(613) 392-8433 www.makeitroar.com THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 46

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

Injury and PTSD Awareness Project. This Spring/Fall event gets bigger and better each year and while it sometimes said that bike and car people don’t always play well together in the same lot, this event is starting to change that. Jeff Billard, co-owner of Denny’s has told me that he would like to create a similar event down at his Denny’s restaurant in Belleville, so if you happen to live in that area down that way keep an eye in next month’s issue of the Mag for more information and I might be down and meeting up with the local riders from the Belleville and Picton and visit Make It Roar Motorcycles in Trenton who also are Riders Mag distributors and say hello. On a sadder note we lost several riders so far this season and one those was Bill Blake, who was killed in an accident riding his Harley back from Felix’s (Cycle Salvage) place and he was the older brother of a childhood friend from over a half a century ago when we all used to “bunk” rides on passing railway cars to get around the city and I often wonder how we survived all these years. Another sad loss to many in our riding community was the passing of Charles “Charly” Lawrence, who was a local rider and long time member of the Back Woods Touring Group, and along with his lovely wife, once owned and operated Charly’s Place, where the beer was cold & the food hot and the reception warm, a restaurant


where bikers were always welcome and many local groups used it as a starting point for their rides. It doesn’t matter if you actually knew Charly, all you have to know is that people like him are what our motorcycle community is all about and men like him will be missed. I want personally thank all the area riders who participated in his “Last Ride” One ride I made it to was the 2nd Annual Moncion’s Ride for Her, which promotes ovarian cancer awareness and I felt that because my sister is an ovarian cancer survivor it is important that we do what we can to support rides like this and only through information and testing can we hope to save more lives . The turnout was about double last year and I was especially pleased to see a number of men and good friends such as the father & son team of John & John Jr Oldroyd who not only participated in this ride because their own family was touched by this cancer but also brought members of the clubs they belong to as well. Also amongst the riders were men I consider brothers such as Squid, Horror Merchants MC, Paul aka Shotgun Willy, Dan aka Big Dog from the Wheels Brother MC and Matix, Bozz and Hauler from The Celtic Brotherhood as

well as members of the Veterans MC The next day along with nearly 200 riders I participated in the National Memorial Ride to the Beechwood Cemetery and I always point out to people when I encourage them to take part in this event, that the riders pay no fee because it was paid for by the warriors we honor by being there. Nuff Said! Aside from the comradery of everyone a special treat for me was the presence of long time friend and brother, “Trapper” who came all the way from New Brunswick to take part in the

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ceremony and when I say he is a special brother to me, over 20 years ago www.bamachine.ca while I was in a coma after a serious mva, Trapper was one of those who came and sat at my bedside! Greg “Shep” Shepherd past chairman of the NMR and who has been a driving force behind the event mentioned to me that David Sweet, Member of Parliament for the Ancaster – Dundas – Flamborough – Westdale area was taking part in the ceremony wearing his colors vest and gave a speech honoring our military and I personally thanked him at the end of the event for his dedication to Canada’s military members and Mr. Sweet also happens to be an officer in the Argyle & Sutherland Highlanders (Princess Louise’s) the unit that Cpl. Nathan Frank Cirillo belonged to and was murdered by an Islamic terrorist on duty at the War

ANYTIME ANYWHERE ANYONE BRAIN INJURY DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE

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Memorial while standing on guard over the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Sometimes I find myself very tired from all the events over the weekend so it was an effort to get as many pictures as I did and some of the ones I took special pride in were the ones that captured many of the different patches on the back of riders who came to show their respect and I want to thank them all for their sense of patriotism, a word that sadly seems to mean less and less to many people. One ride that Bette and I could not make it to but were able to stop by for the after-ride events was the 2nd Annual B.O.B (Burn Out Boys) BBQ and while we arrived quite late there were about a hundred or so riders taking it easy and enjoying themselves, some of whom were many of the Capital City Biker Church crew including Hillbilly & Scott along with Kim and Neil Eisneberg and several other good people including John Grant of the 601. A perks for the evening was Bette won a mat and while I am not sure what she is going to do with it, she won something and that’s all that matters and much thanks to the lovely Marie-France aka Flipper and her intended, Eric aka Eric – Prez, from the B.O.B. for their invite and their hospitality and we have already penciled in our determination to attend the 3rd Annual event. One of my brothers from TCB, Ron aka Clipper was in the hospital for major surgery and Bette and I stopped by to cheer him up and while it worked, I think it was her presence more than mine that brightened him up and it is the hope of all his brothers that he will heal well and fast and be up in the wind soon. I would also like to mention that the group S.O.A.R. ( Society of Ottawa Are Riders) is making some very positive changes and looking to focus on new projects that would have a positive benefit for all riders in the region and if you think that your club might like to participate in having some input in possible things you might like to see happen in the motorcycle community please feel free to contact me at


my email address below and I will be more than glad to direct in the direction of SOAR and I look forward to and wish them success their new direction. One other item I would like to mention is the new partnership between The Celtic Brotherhood and the Pace Law Firm, who are not only strong supporters of The Riders Mag but have now joined TCB in their Busted Bucket Challenge project to help bring about traumatic brain injury and ptsd awareness and TCB is looking forward to the partnership and to furthering the public’s awareness of the well over half a million individuals in Ontario who brain injury survivors not to mention their extended families and the impact that brain injury has

on everyone and the need in seeing they receive the support needed whether through information, medical or legal. Special thank To Ray Bonner & James Taylor of Pace Law’s Motorcycle Division. I also want to remind everyone to please come out and support the Motorcycle Ride for Autism, which will be taking place on Saturday July 18th because we can often make a difference for children with autism if it is diagnosed early and autism touches nearly every family these days. Information can be found on their website www.motorcyclerideforautismottawa.

com

As always I want to remind you that if you are an event –ride or a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertise or carry “The Riders Mag” ..Please contact me by email or phone. Email: theridersmag. beau@gmail.com

You can also follow me on twitter but please keep in mind I am a newbie and it will take a while before I master it. Read The Riders Mag Online: http://theridersmag.com/online/

And as always I want to leave you with this reminder for all of you to follow... We Make Our Motorcycle Communities Stronger!... By Making Them Better!...Ride Safe! Ride Proud! ... Brotherhood! Motorcyco Beau

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Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad

It was an early spring Saturday morning and the air was crisp as I headed west to attend the 4th Annual Elliot Lake Motorcycle Rally. With Mother Nature promising an awesome day weather wise, Mark from Hutchinson Motorcycle who hosted the event, sure delivered a day to remember. The solitude of the ride there gave me plenty of time to reflect on just how beautiful our little part of the world really is. With deer lined up on the side of the roads as well as in fields just soaking in the heat of the rising sun, kept me on alert so that if any should venture off to the roadway I would have plenty of time to react accordingly. The first stop of the day was breakfast at a great pub style restaurant called The Fireside Classic Bar & Grill that offers a relax atmosphere and is complimented with friendly staff

such as Sophie that was serving every patron their breakfast with the upmost accuracy and quality service that is at times difficult to find in some other establishments. This restaurant is a must for food when visiting Elliot Lake or just to stop in for a refreshment as you pick up your monthly copy of the Rider’s Mag situated front and center as you come in. Now it was time to make my way to the Rally. This event has been going on for only 4 short years but having participated in a multitude of various other events before, one would think that Hutchinson Motorcycle had been doing this for decades. The perfect central location of town was fenced

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by That Northern Guy

off properly to prevent unwanted cages to interfere with the safety of the attending bikes. As you entered the area, sponsor signage and words of welcome were there greeting you as you made you way to the registration booth where you would find the required information on the poker run as well as t-shirts for sale and a list of prizes for the winners. On the opposite side, you could find the B-B-Q’s lit up and cooking surrounded by coolers of soft drinks and water that would certainly be in demand soon as the heat was on the increase. The Algoma Public Health, sponsors of all the food and services, with Marie at the helm doing a stellar job at keeping a full staff occupied and organized feeding all the riders, along with Sue in the next booth offering health information as this event is to raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer. Even Dan Marchisella, the town’s mayor, came out to say a few words during the opening plenary, that is only after he was able to get the microphone from Mark…;) Surprisingly enough, for a small remote community, the support that this event has gathered is remarkable. There were plenty of Rider’s Mag supporters as well that came out to say hi and to express how pleased they were that this fine publication is finally in the north. What a great place Elliot Lake is! A must for anyone’s bucket list for an awesome Northern Ontario


Bike Ride and especially when you ride the deer trail situated just on the outskirts of town. The rally included a D-day Memorial in conjunction with the local Legion to reflect on those who gave their lives in Normandy 71 yrs ago to the day. Legionnaires did a great job to commemorate their fallen comrades. Being that The Rider’s Mag is a strong supporter of our troops, we were honored to be able to take part of this memorial. “Lest We Forget” Also present at this event were a few classic and customized cars that came out to show their shine and details under the hood and throughout the entire vehicle. But most of all, what made this event as great as it is, it’s the people that donated their time and support for a great cause and for a great time. Take Derrick for instance, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to pick up something for his little girl and going as far as posing for a pic at the same time… Another guy had his Triumph all decked out locked and loaded ready for his 7 week trek to Alaska and back! Ride safe my friend! Others such as Julie and Ted from St-Joes Island made the trek with their bright yellow Goldwing and side car for an afternoon ride. Julie won the prize for being the most “mature” rider at the event clocking in at 87 yrs. old and still riding! Way to go Julie! An honorable mention goes out to all the clubs that were in attendance as well such as the Redrum First Nation, the Widow’s Sons and the Canadian Motorcycle Cruisers that had members from as far away as Collingwood there just to name a few. Thanks also goes out to all the individuals that without their support events like this would not happen. Some of the vendors onsite were Hutchinson Motorcycles where their moto “You wreck’em, We fix’em” fits them well. Take the 1970 BSA A65L that they completely restored to showroom condition. What a great job! These people think outside the box as well. One of their creations was on hand being a Yamada Stratoliner bike with a Harley Davidson Roadglide fairing installed on it makes you do a double take when it goes by… In one corner you would of found Madlyn and her Cousin Lynn being riders themselves having rode up from Sudbury to display her latest cre-

ation called “The Ride Ready” an innovative idea for the rider that likes to have everything they need to head out on their scoot accessible in one organized area. Heck, there’s even a section for your copy of The Rider’s Mag! For more info on this and many other great products, email her directly at xpressitwithfabric@gmail.com or see her next at Ride Manitoulin in Providence Bay on July 17-19/15. Another vendor was Elliot Lake Jewelers who had a great variety of Harley Davidson accessories as well as other pieces to please the most particular buyer out there. Karen was present too with lots of her artwork on display from her business called Karen’s Multi-Art not to forget all the other private vendors that took this opportunity to show their art and their product for sale. During the afternoon, a group of strongmen that train together put on a competition to see who can powerlift a car the most times. After setting up their gear, they

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was promised a copy of the edited video footage that I will be posting on the website as soon as I get it. Overall, a great time was had by everyone in attendance thanks to Mark Hutchinson and his great team of volunteers. Looking forward to working with you on further

each took turns at lifting the car off its back wheels with brute human strength. Not enough that the weight of a car is lots, but then they went as far as having people sit on the trunk of the car while they lift it up in the air! Great show guys!! We even had a drone in the air and I

events! Every Thursday evening from 5 to 7:30pm during the entire summer, you will find a Cruise Night at The Rock Harley Davidson on Long Lake Rd. in Sudbury. Come out and enjoy a great B-B-Q complete with lots of bikes as well as music to entertain you.

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Don’t worry if the weather doesn’t cooperate, The Rock has a huge tent set up that covers the entire parking lot to keep the activities nice and dry or shaded from the sun. All this is to support The Elgin Street Mission that everybody knows does a great deal of work in our community helping those less fortunate. There’s always a smiling face to be seen as well as much, more….Come out have a great meal, social-

ize with friends and support a great cause all at the same time! See you there! Coming up soon to our area, are the following rides that I have been made aware of. June 20th…Rally For Dad at the Cancer Centre, June 26 -28th, 2015…The Biker’s Reunion in New Liskeard, July 10-12th, 2015…. Northern Ontario Ride for Sight at the Searchmount Resort in Sault Ste-Marie, July 17-19th, 2015…. Ride Manitoulin in Providence Bay and on July 31 to Aug. 3rd, 2015…. The Freedom Rally at the Mine Mill Campground in Sudbury. Well that’s it for the Northern Guy for this month. I really hope you can come out and show your support at various rides and events.

Keep in mind….If you want to be happy for one day, drink. If you want to be happy for a year, marry. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, ride a motorcycle!


Hello fellow inmates...

by Dangerous Donnie from Durham

Well to start with on this my latest attempt. I offer to fall on my sword for missing the deadline for last month’s issue... it’s not like I can say I was busy...just left it till the last minute again...so here I go with the cut off for the mag just a few days away....I will never change....anyhow...read on Rangers MC on the road day..

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We all arrived at the Ranger CH in Toronto about 9, with good weather, everyone accounted for so we headed out and unlike last year we made it up to the 400 Hwy without a traffic stop by the local Five-O. Other than the 4 scooters that encountered break downs of one sort or another it was a good tour. Tamara made it half way up the NB 400 and had call a tow truck. Very happy that young Andrew did not loose his front tire on the 400 in the hammer lane, as he felt some wobbles and just when we pulled off the highway and into an Orillia Petro-Crap station his front rubber flattened on his recently acquired 883, after several attempts to road side repair it was time for a flat-bed. About to leave and Android’s older Evo decker would not start and Nick’s sporty bobber had some electrical issues, off to Canadian tire for a battery. Got the Droid moving but parts for Nicky’s were not to be found. So call it 3 bikes on the hook that day back to the city. We had a scoff at some restaurant in Orillia and headed back to the city, without and further mishaps. Malicious Cycle and Clothing On a sunny Saturday I had time to roll down to visit Bryan and the boys at their Swap Meet. It was well attended with quite a few vendors with major displays of used parts for Harleys. Talking to Bryan from what I hear the service part of the business was doing great this season, and the clothing is moving well too. Malicious has a large variety of their own line of shirts and the like, and lots of 81 support gear on hand. They are open during the week so head on down if you have some free time

Strolling around the lot I ran into the Riders Mag boss “Critter” and I know he was impressed at the event. I did not stay that long but ran into several MC’s, Long Horns/ Chosen Few and several of my fellow brothers from the Rangers MC. Here’s a picture of Sam’s Evo Softail that Malicious basically rejuvenated. Very nice job, looks show room now.....and the paint is flawless. . They tell me that Malicious is going to hold another one in September, so if you missed this one keep an eye on the Mag for the date. Rangers MC (Toronto East) May 23rd was a special day for our boys of the Rangers East where we celebrated our status as a stand alone chapter.

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It was heavily attended (note the group picture). We would like express our appreciation for all the clubs and friends that attended our bash. It was a good day for us. Thanks to Rangers MC West for their guidance through our Prospect Chapter period. The Rangers are an international club with the mother chapter in Budapest Hungary; we hope to make the trip to Europe next year to visit with them. A WTF Comment/Rant Well by the time you read this I can unconditio n a l l y guarantee that each and everyone of us that travel the GTA has not muttered many times to themselves “WHAT THE FUK !” about the Pan Am Games as we are delayed getting to work or whatever. You will be sitting in gridlock as some pampered official zooms by you in those dedicated lanes of our 400

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series Highways. The hammer lane is now HOV for 3+ bodies per cage. I guess I am unworthy of understanding the importance of these games, simply I don’t give a shit about them. Ok most of us like some sports like hockey or football but do you care about some mook leaping over a high jump or tossing a javelin? We readers mainly have the same sport in our hearts. It involves high speeds and cruising on two wheels, with the wind in your face. Ok I admit I have played golf several times but each time half way through I will hear a Harley in the distance and wished I was on it instead sitting on some electric cart. The only thing I ever looked forward to about golf is when it’s over the customary drinking of cold beer. Pan Am games, fun for a few but a pain the ass for the rest of us. ...Ok rant over. Old School Youngblood One of my fellow scooter trash friends and I rode over to visit his buddy young Chris T. at his Schwa garage. What I saw and heard was very interesting, so for the Mag I ventured a back for a closer look at what this guy can do and basically in my humble opinion he can do it all. Fabrication/ W e l d i n g / Ornamental work/ Motors/Design etc...it’s like going back in time 30 years ago. He has 6 projects on the go...shovels and iron heads only... no new stuff for him...he is searching for right Knuck but they are scarce and mucho $$. Looking closely this kid can make anything fit if it takes cutting, bending or fabrication. I know a lot guys my

age who started out tearing apart and rebuilding bikes in their driveways who would greatly marvel at what Chris is capable of. He told me he was 12 when he started monkeying around with small ricer bikes,and progressed thru the dirt bike phase, but knew it was HD’s that he was set on devoting his time to. Again we all know guys that need go to the dealer just get them to put air in their tires so when you see someone who can literally do it all in single car garage you just have offer mega kudo’s to this Old School Youngblood. He sums it up by stating he just likes to “rejuvenate” old iron. Many of you may already know Chris in the Durham locale and would recognize his Black Sabbath tribute bike, on a whim he had slapped an Evo onto a spare frame that he had on hand to ride down to Chicago with his bride to catch his favorite band in concert...that is old school! Anyhow peeps a shout out to Jenn and her Lupus Ride...and to the Bikes on Bond event coming in August...and don’t forget Aces and Eights Christmas in July.....thx for reading. Cya soon...


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Ladies and their Harleys

This month’s feature lady is Pauline and she and her sister Dawn got onto the ladies list back in the spring. I was very grateful when last minute juggling was involved with our annual trip to the southwest that Pauline stepped up and made herself available for this shoot on less than 24 hours notice. I did not know at that time that Pauline is a denturist and that she advertises in the mag. Pauline says she wasn’t sure what was all involved in the

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ladies feature and that she was volunteered by her sister Dawn who is also a rider, in fact the entire family all 5 of them are riders. Pauline says that her Mother was Canadian and her Father American, when she was a teen her parents split up and when all the paperwork was done Mom moved off to Canada and the kids mostly went with their mother, Pauline was in her last year of high school and opted to stay in the Boston area with her father and finish up her high school.


She told her friends that she was going to Canada for 3 weeks to visit her mother and siblings and that she never returned staying and becoming a permanent resident. Getting married, having kids and working in the shadow of licensed denturists for more than 20 years. That all changed when she decided that she wanted her motorcycle license, she had been riding on the back of her husband’s various Harleys over the years and about 20 years ago she decided that it would be great if she could ride so if her husband ever had too much to drink she could always ride the bike home. She told me of course he would never have ridden bitch anyways. Well getting her motorcycle license transformed her life and inspired her to do all the things that she always wanted to do. It gave her confidence and independence. Once she got her license which she was very nervous about at first. She did get a lot of ribbing from the students at Conestoga College because she was the only girl in the class, but she did it. Succeeded and got her license. Pauline’s brothers moved back to the states as it was just an easier life for a young man for insurance costs etc and her eldest brother was a truck driver living in Wisconsin and when he heard that Pauline was looking for a bike he came down in his truck and helped

her search the penny saver for a bike she could get a start on. She says they found a Suzuki Savage in the Brantford area and she bought that bike and rode it for three years. She was overjoyed to be on the road and to be riding with all her friends, although her kids were somewhat embarrassed that she was riding a small rice burner, she says she was thrilled. She was further inspired to return to school and study to be a denturist after having spent 20 years behind the scenes working for others. So she stepped out into the forefront and became self employed. She inspired many of her girl friends to also learn to ride and gain independence and inspiration from the riding experience. After 3 years riding the Savage she bought herself a brand new Harley low rider similar to the bike her husband had that she rode on the back of and she says she rode it until her kids were heading off to college and she felt that she needed to sell her bike to help pay their way. She says she was so frustrated that she ended up cashing in her RRSP and buying an old sportster. It was noisy, leaked oil, had a final chain but damn it, it was a Harley and she was damn glad to have it and ride it. She rode that sporty for about 5 years and started looking around for something retro and in 2005 she found this 99 heritage softail. She says that although

she had a very specific idea of what her bike should look like and this was not it. She bought the bike anyways because it was such a great deal and over the years this beautiful bike has grown on her. She has put her own touch to the bike. It had come up from the states and it had almost no mileage and a lot of gold plate bolt on stuff that she didn’t care for so she removed it. She’s added a few personal touches, changed up the seat and resisted the urge to take any of her six grand kids for a ride steering them towards Grandpa’s bike instead which has a tour pack on the back. Hailing from the New England area Pauline has ridden to Laconia, New Hampshire at least 5 times and that this year she has the sad task of taking her oldest brothers ashes on their last ride to the top of Mount Washington in New Hampshire. Her elder brother ended up giving his Harley to her youngest brother who could never afford a Harley when the elder was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Shortly after he dropped that bike off to his brother he passed away with his final request being that his siblings, who of course all ride, take his ashes to the top of the mountain and scatter them in the breeze. Pauline’s life was transformed by her brother and riding which has given her Freedom, Confidence and Independence.

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Dix Davies Celebration of Life - June 6, 2015 Dix’s Celebration of Life was really great! I looked around at all the people that were there and thought, wow, all these people met each other partly due to Dix Davies. The number of lives that Dix affected and the intensity of the effect is really overwhelming. Dix’s daughter and other family members were there and told us some DIx stories. Many of us had never met Dix’s family so it was very interesting to hear the stories about the “rules” and the confirmation that Dix was all about the rules everywhere in his life. Dix’s main interest since it was formed was ABATE. Dix was immersed in ABATE literally until the day he passed away. His daughter told us that the day before Dix’s passing he was sitting in the hospital bed putting together membership packages. Why? Because the members needed their packages. Dix had many interests about all kinds of things. If it was relevant, he was interested. As his daughter said, “If it happened in the last 100 years, Dix knew something about it”. I could sit with Dix at a campfire for days with no music or entertainment and just laugh and expand my knowledge. Great things like Arlo Guthrie and John Prine lyrics may have passed right by me if not for Dix Davies and campfires. The family was generous enough to bring some of Dix’s ashes to sprinkle at the property. They allowed anyone who wished to take some ashes and sprinkle the

as well. Dix and I would sometimes sit around and try to remember John Prine and Arlo Guthrie songs. One was “Please don’t bury me, down in the cold, cold ground, I’d rather have them roll me up and pass me all around” so I kinda did something like that. Sure, it’s weird to many people, but if you’d been at the campfire with Dix and I that night you’d understand. After everyone said a few words, there was memorabilia to check out that included photo albums. Some were live and in person including Jimbo, the ABATES only other founding father and Tom, the Sherriff. It was really fun finding ourselves in pictures from 20 or 30 years ago. Special mention to the Sherriff who rode a few hundred km up, which may not sound like much but it is when you’re just finishing chemo treatments! So good to see old friends, flashbacks are fantastic! After all the hugging and carrying on it was time to say goodbye. We rode by Dix’s bike, one on each side, and gave him the rolling thunder salute with 46 bikes. We rode two up from Flesherton to Clinton with one stop in Wingham. Great job by the blockers as the entire time the ride stayed together all the way! Dix did a lot for the world of motorcycling both as an individual and through ABATE. Dix continued to bring many of us together on Saturday at this Celebration of Life and I’m certain he will continue to keep us together. Thank you Dix, RIDE ON!.’

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Continued from Page 29

at this time. She responded that she indeed did had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something, body language, or the way she said it made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .357 magnum snub-nose in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of. She looked me right in the eye and said, “Not a fucking thing !” A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘What is the price of this lovely bracelet?’ He answers, “Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!”

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She’s 25, and her name’s Kathy. I went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting “pedophile!” and other names at me, just because my wife is 20 and I’m 50. It completely spoiled our 10th Anniversary. A man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead”. The operator says, “How do you know?” The man says “The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!” I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You obviously haven’t been listening.” My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. ‘Oh my God - Hurry, ! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early,’! ‘I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there.’! ‘If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!’ she replied. ‘He’s gota hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems.’! So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always run in the nude?’ one asked. ‘Oh yes!’ he replied, gasping in air. ‘It feels so wonderfully free!’ Another runner moved a long side. ‘Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?’ ‘Oh, yes’ our friend answered breathlessly. ‘That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home.’! Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, ‘Do you always wear a condom when you run.’? ‘Nope. Just when it’s raining’. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 59


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An Irish daughter An Irish daughter had not been home for ten years. Upon her return, her father yelled at her, “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?” The girl, crying, replied, “Dad, I was too embarrassed. I became a prostitute.” “Ye what? Get out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this good Catholic family, so yer are.” “OK , Daddy, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, a title deed to an eight bedroom mansion plus a $5 million check. For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club.” She takes a breath and continues, “and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Caribbean.” “Now what was it ye said ye had become.” says Daddy. The girl, crying again, “A prostitute, Daddy!” “Oh! By Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a PROTESTANT. Come here and give yer old Dad a big hug.” Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, “How much is

that faucet?” The manager replied, “That’s a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.” Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that’s an expensive faucet and certainly out of my price range!” She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled, “Ma’am, you wanna screw for the hinge? Mary shouted back, “No, but I will for the fau1-800-310-1389 cet.” 2822 HOWARD AVE. VE. WINDSOR, ON is why you can’t send a woman to Home RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE This Depot

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Husband’s Text Message to wife: Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility. Love you. Wife’s Response: Who’s Paula? MEDICAL ALERT Australian Medical Association researchers have found that patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better. Just thought you’d like to know. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE CRACKED, FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT! A Jewish daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 60


Continued from Page 5

July 4th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Complimentary Lunch & Learn “Trip Preparation”

Hosted by John Hall Starting at 1pm. Jacox Harley-Davidson. To register, please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763.

July 4th- Malicious Cycle’s 1st Anniversary Party & Pig Roast

At Malicious Cycle 3595 St. Clair East, in Scarborough. Noon till 5pm Come on out and Celebrate our 1st Anniversary in style. For more Information Check out www.maliciouscycleandclothing.com or on Facebook.com/maliciouscycle

July5th- Bacchus MC Chatham Annual Bike Show

At Big Shots Billiards, 17 King Street in Chatham. Registration starts at 11am until Noon. All Makes and Models are Welcome, For Details call 306-202-7522

July 10th-11th-&12th- Bancroft’s Wheels, Water & Wings

A full weekend of events in and around Bancroft culminating on Sunday the 12th with a Show and Shine/ Swap Meet. Cash Prizes, All Makes and Models Welcome. Starts at Noon and runs til 4 pm. For more information check out www.beautifulbancroft.ca

July 11th- Hogtown Cycles “Baconfest”

‘Everything Bacon and Bikes’ Lucan, Ontario. Live Music featuring Geoff Masse on the Hogtown Stage, Door prizes, Vendors, Contests & Raffles and The Famous Western Cheerleaders Bikini Bike Wash. All day event. More info at www.hogtowncycles.ca

July 11th- 5th Annual Lisle Legion Show & Shine

At the Legion 8439 Main St West in Lisle, Registration starts at 10am, Lots of classes to choose from, Live Music, BBQ, 50/50, All on the Largest patio in Ontario. Everyone Welcome. More Info call 705-424-2995 or email lisle.legion@gmail.com

July 11th- Aces & Eights Christmas in July Toy Ride

Meeting at Durham CAS, 1320 Airport Blvd. Oshawa. Registration starts at 9am One Toy per Bike Required for Registration.

July 11 - Rock N’ Ride 4 Radiology Poker Run/Concert Join the Crew from Fox Harley-Davidson® and 92.3 The Dock for a full day of fun. Ride and Concert tickets are only $50 or Concert only for $35. Tickets are available at Roxy Theatre Box Office. Ride registration starts at 1pm –Ride starts at 2pm, BBQ following the ride and the Concert starts at 7:30pm. All proceeds for the New CT scanner at the Owen Sound Hospital. www.923TheDock.com July 11th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Adrenaline Afternoon/Open House Join us for Live, Music by the “Bad to the Bone”, BBQ & more! For more information please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763. th

July 11th- Kawartha Bikers Church Annual Show and Shine

1000 Fairbairn St., Peterborough. 11am – 4:30pm, Food, Draws, Live Music, Classes for All Bikes. More Info at www.kawarthabikerschurch.com

July 12th- Welland County M.C. Lime Run Check their website for details www.WellandMotorcycleClub.com

July 17th- 19th- Wasaga Beach Motorcycle Rally To get the full rundown of events check out www.wasagabeachrally.com

July 17th- 19th- Ride Manitoulin Motorcycle Rally

Providence Bay Fairgrounds, Manitoulin Island. Poker Run, Camping, Show and Shine, Biker Games and Live Music. More Info at www.ridemanitoulin.ca

July 17th & 18th- Big Brothers Big Sisters St. Catharines – Thorold ‘Ride For Kids Sake’

A weekend with Tig (Kim Coates) & Bobby (Mark Boone Jr) Friday evening Dinner and Wine pairing at Chateau des Charmes Winery in Niagara on the Lake and on Saturday The Charity Ride. Starting at The Pen Centre 221 Glendale Ave., St. Catharines, Registration starts at 8:30am. More info at www.bbbsmentors.ca

July 18th- 9th Annual Mount Forest Legion Show & Shine

140 King St., Mount Forest. 11am Start, Free Rregistration, with Judging at 2pm and Awards at 2:30, BBQ, 50/50, Beer Tent for more info call 519-323-1570 or email rclmtforest134@wightman.ca or check www.mountforestfireworks.ca

July 18th- 3rd Annual Motorcycle Ride for Autism Ottawa Starts and Finishes at Kunstadt Sports, 462 Hazeldean Rd. in Kanata, Registration starts at 8am Ride Kicks off at 9:15am. For more information check out www.motorcyclerideforautismottawa.com

July 18th- B.R.O. Niagara’s Summer Bash

Poker Run registration Starts 10am - Noon at St. Catharines Husky Truck Stop on York Rd. and ends at the Bash Site 330 Young Rd. Welland. Live Bands, Show N’ Shine, Bike Games, BBQ, and Fireworks at Dusk. For more info contact: Chris: 905-380-2654, Ron: 905-3288232, or Bonnie: 289-696-5239.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 61


August

July 31st – Aug 3rd- A.B.A.T.E Ontario’s 25th Annual Final Frontier

July 18th- Welland County M.C. Fun Day at the Club

At the ABATE Grounds. Live Bands All Weekend, Camping, Bike Games, Show & Shine, Vendors, Mud Wrestling, Wet T-Shirt. For tickets Call Surf: 519-2822978, Chico: 519-477-4365, or Horse: 519-983-5324.

MAP TO THE FINAL FRONTIER

Check their website for details www.WellandMotorcycleClub.com

July 18th- Queensmen M.C. Bandfest 2015

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Aug. 7th-9th- Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy’s 4th Annual Rodeo & Roast

11101 County Rd. 15, North Augusta. Advanced tickets $25, $30 at the Gate. For more Information: www.BigDaddysCowpaddy.ca or call Greg or Susie at 613-926-0799

Aug. 8th- Bikes On Bond

Oshawa is closing the Core area to ABATE OF ONTARIO INC. Downtown Motorcycles Only, All Day, Live Music, Vendors,

FRIDAY

9:00 - 1:00 Colin Amey

SATURDAY 7:00 - 10:30 Ribbed

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11:00 - 1:00 Willy Styles

and a Free Show & Shine. This is a Free Event and Everyone is Welcome. For more info www.facebook.com/pages/Bikes-on-Bond . Rain Date Aug 9th.

Aug. 8th- Rocky’s Harley-Davidson’s 60 Years of Freedom Celebration

900 Wilton Grove Rd, London, Live Music Featuring Meets Who’, Bikini Contest, Vintage Bikes, 11:00 - 1:00 6:00 - 11:00 ‘Who Sidewalk Sale, Food, Beverage Tent, Pirzes all for High Water Revival Siagon Pharmacy Free. 12 Noon – 5pm. For more info Check out www.rockys-harley.com or call (519) 438-1450

*Camping *Wet T-Shirt Contest *Bike Games *Mud Wrestling *Show & Shine *Tattoo Artist *Food Vendors *Leather Vendors All Day & Weekend Passes Available Now !

No Glass, No Pets, No Attitudes, No One Under 19 Permitted Information and Media Inquires

Surf (519) 282-2978 / Chico (519) 477-4365 or Horse (519) 983-5324

Aug. 14th-15th & 16th- Cow Paddy Boys 25th Annual Rodeo & Roast

9500 Hall Rd., North Augusta, Ontario. Biker events, Live Music Friday and Saturday Night, Prizes, Tattoos, Camping, Showers, B.Y.O.B. $30 Donation All Proceeds to Charity. More Info at www.cowpaddyboys.com

Aug. 30th- Critter & Black Gold’s Annual Show ‘N’ Shine for Alzheimer’s

Join The Mag Crew at 1228 Gorham St. in Newmarket for the day and Enter your Bike to Win. Trophies for All 16 Classes, BBQ and Live Music. Starting at 10am and going till 4pm. For Vendor Information Call: Gord 416-804-9922, Rick 905-251-2359 or Al 289-338-5227. See you there

September

Sept. 2nd – 6th- Wharf Rat Rally

Digby Nova Scotia, All Week Long Atlantic Canada’s Largest Motorcycle Rally, Events going all week long. Book your space now! Check it out at www.wharfratrally.com

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 62


Sept. 4th-5th- West Coast Blues ‘Downtown Shuffle’, 10th Anniversary, Blues Festival Goderich Ontario. Wow weekend pass only $30! Friday Sept 4th - ‘Friday Night Walkabout’, Goderich Ontario - 8 venues,

featuring 8 exciting Blues acts, all venues within walking distance, $10 wristband allows admission to all 8 venues. Wristbands at the door or on line www.westcoastblues.ca. Saturday Sept 5th - Labour Day Weekend Blues Festival, Motorcycle Show and Shine, Goderich Ontario 1:30 pm to 5 pm. Free outdoor Blues concert, featuring Stevie T. info at www.westcoastblues.ca. Main Stage featuring, Paul Deslauriers Band, Drew Nelson Band, Paul Reddick and the Weber Brothers and Magic Moment Blues Band. Show starts at 7 pm. $25 advance and $30 at the door OR Weekend pass for only $30 (includes Friday night Walkabout)..

Sept 5th- The Annual Snake River Motorcycle Rodeo

468A Faught Road in Cobden, Gates open at 9am, $20 per person, Bike Games on and off All Day, Live Music, Camping and of course The Pig Roast. For more Info Check out facebook.com/pages/Snake-RiverMotorcycle-Rodeo or Call Andrew at 613-808-1388

Sept. 12th- 13th- Judith Henry Memorial Ride and After Party

Fireman’s Park, 2275 Dorchester Rd., Niagara Falls, Ontario. Registration 9 – 11am Rider’s $25- Passengers $15, Pig Roast and Camping is Included. www.independentriders.ca.

Sept. 13th- Welland County M.C. Family Fun Day Check their website for details www.WellandMotorcycleClub. com

Sept. 19th- Fabulous Fenwick Lions “Biketoberfest 2015”

13th Anniversary of The Largest Motorcycle Event in Niagara, Enter to win the Grand Prize 2015 CVO™ Street Glide®. For more information www.biketoberfest.ca.

Sept. 26th- Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy’s 4th Annual Toy Run

Details to be announced. Check www.BigDaddysCowpaddy.ca or call Greg or Susie at 613-926-0799

Also a Fall Swap Meet at Malicious Cycle in Scarborough in September the exact date has yet to be confirmed. Check www.maliciouscycleandclothing.com or facebook.com/maliciouscycle for more up to date info and Vendor spaces.

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Wheatley, 519-825-4222 THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 63



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