The Rider's Mag April 2013-04 v15-n02

The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

THE RIDER’S MAG Volume 15 #2

READ FREE! RIDE FREE!

April 2013

Big Al’s Swap Meet Clare’s Spring Open House

Mammaries Page

Feature Bike What’s Shakin’

Joke Page

We Support

Our Troops!!!

The Rider’s Guide to Southern Ontario and Beyond!! www.theridersmag.com

www.hipscycle.ca

Table of Contents What’s Shakin’ Figh ng for your Rights Scary Larry OCC Conference Call On The Road JR’s Re red and Lookin’ for Work Veterns Don Norris Sees Some Old Friends JOKE PAGE Worth the Price of the Mag Clare’s Spring Open House The Clare Family Entertained All Cruising With Cri er The Publisher Tells His Side Alvinston Swap Meet 2013 Alleycat Checks it Out Big Al’s Swap Meet 2013 Good Times in Dundas Feature Bike One Modern Knuckle Chopper Brothers of the Blade Thro le Itch

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Bikers Church Pg26 Pastor Dave Teaches Clare’s Christmas Open House Pg30 With Rose T Clare’s Fenwick Open House Pg31 JR Visits Friends in Fenwick Thanks For The Mammaries Pg34 The Best of the Past Year Riding The Southwest Pg36 Two New Writers Introduce Themselves

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3

What’s

Shakin’

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Fighting for your Rights with Scary Larry Shazam! There it was again . . . “Whaaaat?” you ask politely. Why it’s the Ontario Confedera on of Clubs Annual Conference - the only actual exclusively Biker (with a capital Bee) Informa on Conference in Ontario and

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maybe all of Canada. Eh, Ollie! Yea, I am well aware there are seminars and shows geared to the two-wheeled riding public, whose a"endees consist of mainly tourists or weekend warriors masquerading as clubbers, and yes - they do perform some social func onality to our lifestyle - but they definitely fall far short of providing useful informa on concerning the real problems facing bikers in the 21st century. But the OCC Annual Conference has, for the second year, provided much needed informa on for the gnarly, hard core Biker.

This year the conference a"racted over 60 OCC delegates who enjoyed over thirty hours, spaced out over three days, of biker related ac vi es. The conference kicked off on Friday, March 15 with a hospitality evening which included entertainment by D’Arcy (OCC Webmaster) and Gary - two members of the Bayview Ghost Band who provided an entertaining backdrop for delegates to schmooze, while renewing acquaintances with OCC members from all corners of the province. Saturday began early with delegates a"ending a series of four one-hour seminars which informed and enlightened the delegates about pending OCC issues. The expert speakers were drawn from a pool of legal professionals and experienced biker ac vists. The seminars provided valuable legal advice and every-day useful (and usable) knowledge essen al to members of the OCC who remain constantly harassed by unwarranted and unethical curbside encounters with law enforcement – a prac ce that contributes nada to the bo"om line of preven ng criminal ac vity. What a freakin’ sham, Eh, Ollie? Following the day’s seminars, the delega on enjoyed a fes ve evening featuring a delicious banquet and accolades from the OCC execu ve. Following the feast, the gathering also enjoyed the hilarious comedy of Yuk-Yuk’s Paul Haywood who rocked the room, Eh, Captain Nemo?

Sunday began with a service conducted by the Pastor’s of Bikers Church (Kawartha & Hamilton Chapels) who reminded us that all par cipants in our society have their place and that we must ‘forgive them their trespasses’ but that’s damn hard when you’re faced with being jacked by jack-offs. Ooooops, guess I’ll have a ton of transgressions to atone for when my name is called, Eh Dave? The rest of the morning was reserved for the quarterly OCC General Mee ng with everything wrapping up by noon. How can you par cipate in future conferences and, hopefully, strike a blow for biker rights in Ontario? Visit www.occ4u.org and join the Ontario Confedera on of Clubs. HEY WAIT!!! Don’t turn the page believing you can’t provide value to the OCC because you’re not a clubber. There are many independent members, such as you, who are disgusted by the issues facing our lifestyle and have chosen to act by becoming a member of the OCC. Perhaps, I’ll catch ya at the next meeting, Eh Ollie?

A huge ‘Thumbs Up!!’ to the Downtown Hells Angels who successfully recovered the contents of their previous clubhouse. The ar cles filled two five-ton trucks and were recovered with a shitload less fanfare (but a ton more class) then when they were seized!

A footnote to my March ar cle re: Zombies M.C. Patch Party – Due to my intoxicated state when I was scribbling notes for the ar cle, I forgot to include the Iron Dragons M.C. whose a"endance was much appreciated.

Apologies Brothers, it was an extremely busy night for me.

Scary Larry OCC Treasurer

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6

On The Road Alright I am through banging my head against the wall or bea ng a dead horse as it were for my southwestern feature shoot trip. I have reached out to those of you who are on my list and many have replied and we will be se ng up par cular mes for each shoot depending on your loca on in early April, I can s ll take a few more applicants in the London to Windsor corridor for Friday and Monday as we are expanding our mes.

by JR looking forward to working your bike into our tri city area schedule again this year sounds to me like you have lots of new and exci ng stories to tell and you truly are the only guy I know who s ll uses snail mail to send me stuff, wow.

If you are a lady rider who wants to get into the mag or a guy who owns a shovel or a Sportster we need your bike, we will shoot others but it may be some me before your bike gets in as other lists are a li le longer just now. And I have a shit load of bikes in and east of the city of Toronto and as promised we are Working on a weekday trip to get some of the shoots done and thank you to all youse who are making yourselves available to us on those weekdays as weekends are baffed for the month of may.

We will being making several trips into the tri city area which includes Kitchener, Waterloo, and Cambridge and we usually try to e Guelph in to this as well so we will be contac ng all youse who are out that way to get your shoots done over the coming months preferably on weekdays but we will try to maintain some flexibility.

Niagara region has always been an easy one for us as we have family es in the Niagara area and I currently have a few applicants out that way and am looking for more men’s and ladies bikes to shoot as we do like to get a minimum of 4 shoots in whenever possible to get more bang for our buck, of course depending what else is on our schedule for each trip.

I won’t bore you anymore with my drivel, and try hard to hide my ela on at re rement but I never really stop working just stop having deadlines anymore and get all the enjoyment out of my life without having to answer the bell anymore and live and act like a machine, this was all started so I could ride more, its finally happening and I love it, see you out there on the road.

I am gonna miss the upcoming spring show taking my kids on their first march break trip ever, it’s funny how you try to free up some me during your workaday life to spend me with the kids and once you re re and have more me they won’t relinquish those other vaca ons even though they were scheduled around work back then, hmmmm. Florida in September, definitely not crowded but seriously hot at that me of the year, we need to rethink that but they don’t wanna let it go.

I might actually make it in for one day at the na onal show in April as we roll in from a Chicago visit just in me to take a ride to Toronto on what should be a nice Sunday in mid April? I am just a li le looking forward to riding this year, no deadlines just feature shoots.

A quick shout out to Rick in Kitchener and his Dyna Wide Glide which I overlooked and misplaced, it was found and as per your request here’s that pic you and I discussed,

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 7

Veterans “Outlaw Bikers” is a moniker that has always rubbed me the wrong way.

Maybe that was the intent when police or media coined the name to describe anyone on a motorcycle that they didn’t like. The dic onary describes outlaw as a highwayman. It also explains highwayman as a robber, hijacker or thief. However, the police have simplified it even more.

Any biker with three patches on their back is an outlaw biker.

Even the RCMP, which is supposed to be the most intelligent of all police services, sees three patches as a definite sign of bad bikers.

Don’t get me wrong. Without police the world would be a terrible place.

In their zeal to make it easier to iden fy 1%ers, they

By: Don Norris have included their own Blue Knights (police), White Knights (EMS), Red Knights (Fire Fighters) and unfortunately military veteran’s motorcycle organiza ons.

They even use their cut off and box in tac cs to stop NWRA riders who wear four patches on their backs.

The North Wall Riders Associa on is composed of veterans and rela ves of veterans who put a lot of effort into financially and psychologically suppor ng the families of veterans and our fallen warriors.

I decided to a end their annual pasta dinner in Hamilton November 17th.

There was well

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Not only did I get a great dinner and buy a new red T-shirt for Fridays, but I got to meet others such as Tom Po er and his lovely lady Terry.

As much as the incompetence of the police tries to disrupt our lives, we s ll enjoy being together.

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www.martinscustommotorcycles.com THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 8

What do you mean why am I pulling out my gun for a traffic stop?

I know all about you Bikers.

I’ve watched every season of The Sons of Anachy!

So where are all your guns stashed?

JOKE The Pope and Stephen Harper are on the same stage in the Maple Leaf Gardens in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mr. Harper and said, “Do you know that with one li le wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?

This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”

Harper replied, “I seriously doubt that! With one li le wave of your hand....Show me!”

So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land This, apparently is an actual le er received by the Canadian Passport Office, from an irate Newfoundlander a emp ng to renew his passport.

Dear Sirs, I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and s ll cannot believe this. How is it that Bell-Alliant has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a friggin satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Canadian G overnment is s ll asking me where I was friggin born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension checks, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years.It is on

PAGE my Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declara on forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary Anne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be abso-fucking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I’m really pissed off this morning.Between you an’ me,I’ve had enough of this bullshit!You send the applica on to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!!!!

What is going on?Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin’ there?Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes.I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beachsomewhere.And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visi ng a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you’d be the last fucking people I’d want to tell!

Well, I have to go now, ‘cause I have to go to the other end of the friggin city to get another fucking copy of my birth cer ficate, to the tune of $35. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooooooooooo, that’d be too damn easy and Continued on Page 13

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9

Clare’s HD- Spring Open House Now that I’ve taken over the helm at the Mag I’ve found that the li le Domain that I called Cri er Country has expanded its borders a whole lot and I find myself wandering further and further afield and in the process going to places that existed only for others, not those of us from the other side of the big lake.

I knew these places existed as I’d heard about them and even seen them from me to me when my travels took me to those areas but never stopped in or rather had the me to stop in as I have always maintained a busy schedule.

So when it came me to assign the Clare’s Open House I snapped it up for myself.

It was a great day for a drive to the Niagara Region.

Hell. It was a good day for a ride to there as well and a lot of people did just that.

There were a lot of bikes out on the road.

As I said I had never been to Clare’s before and I was in for a pleasant surprise.

The parking lot was packed to the point where I didn’t think I would find a spot to park at first and had to resort to stalking as they do in the parking lots of the large Malls where you wait for someone leaving the stores and follow them to their car and hover there like a vulture to jump into that spot when they vacate it.

I grabbed my camera and made my way inside to find an absolutely massive store jammed with shoppers grabbing up much needed items at bargain prices.

I just wandered aimlessly and found no shortage of familiar faces.

There was lots to see here as The Fenwick Lions folks were out promo ng their ride and the raffle bike, The Niagara Hog Chapter was well represented at their table as well as were the Welland County MC and The Brothers Keepers.

Tina from Triple K upholstery was out with a display of

their fine products so I yacked with her a while before resuming my tour.

There were long line ups at all the counters but the skilled and knowledgeable staff kept

the lines moving.

The showroom was packed with a huge variety of Harleys with some pre y fantas c pricing.

I did get to talk briefly with Randy before wandering off mesmerized at all the chrome and beau ful paint keeping my visa card firmly planted at the bo om of my jeans pockets as it was just aching to get out and take advantage of some of these prices.

I strolled into the really fantas c coffee shop located in a corner of the showroom and got a complimentary coffee and sat for a while just taking it all in.

This place had it all going on style comfort great staff, lots of absolutely everything.

Ah! What about the Service department?

I set out to inves gate.

It too was massive, clean, organized and very impressive and from Bring your bike seat comments I heard on my travels from Motorcycle their loyal customers is more than for mods or gels to the sa sfactory.

Accessories, National Motorcycle I will have to be sure next me and Tattoo Show Exotic Leathers I’m out this way to plan some extra C.N.E. Toronto, April 13-14 me to my trip for another stop in to Call for more info this fantas c store.

It is no wonder that John Clare always was that magnificent smile on his face whenever I’ve seen him. He has a lot to be proud of and Gel Pad Inserts, certainly that has to make you smile.

Air Horns, Pans ~ Shaping I s ll had other stops to make Top Pads, today so I made my way out into the Engraving ~ Studs s ll packed parking lot followed inOver 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats tently by a couple of vulture vehicles in search of my spot.

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Clare’s HD- Spring Open House Clare’s Fenwick Open House

I decided that since I was out and about on such a damn pre y day that I would treat myself further and educate myself as to as many of our adver sers as I could at every opportunity. I knew that Clare’s original store was in Fenwick but I knew li le more about it and was about to rec fy that situa on.

I aimed the Black Bitch for Fenwick and took in some great scenery along the way.

I arrived at the Store and was amazed at the size of this place as well and once again finding a parking spot was to prove a challenge as their loyal customers pack the place.

It is different from the other store as it is older and has the look,

and feel of an old me Motorcycle shop.

There was plenty of ac vity here as well with free coffee and donuts.

I checked out some of the deals they had on helmets and leathers and other riding gear.

This shop is mostly for metric bikes but they have ranged out into off-road vehicles and other power equipment as well and every nook and cranny is being u lized to best display the merchandise so you can recognize that the same organiza onal skills are in play at both loca ons.

I talked to the Service Manager Corey for a while a he gave me a short tour that just happened to take us by his pride and joy; a ’68 BSA and I managed to talk him into le ng me take his picture with it.

It was a good day as I got to get out a meet some more of our adver sers as I want to familiarize myself with as many as I possibly can and Clare’s are great spots to visit, and I will be back.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 11

JOKE maybe make sense. You’d rather have us running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it’s really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (bureaucra c fuckin’ morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn’t smile if we wanted to? Because we’re totally pissed off!

Signed An Irate Canadian Ci zen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and ge ng someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in Newfoundland since 1497 and I’ve been a Canadian Ci zen since 1949 .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secre ve missions all over the world.

However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: “Windows frozen.”

Husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer’s completely not working now.”

In 1272, the Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat’s lower intes ne. In 1873, the Bri sh refined

PAGE the idea by taking the intes ne out of the goat first.

“Turtle” An O awa ‘airport cket agent’ offers some examples of ‘WHY’ our country (CANADA) is in trouble!

1. I had a New Brunswick member of parliament ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Manitoba legislature staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town . I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport informa on, and then he interrupted me with, ‘’I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachuse s ..’’

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ‘’Cape Cod is in Massachuse s , Cape Town is in South Africa .’’

His response -- click..

3. A senior B.C. deputy-minister called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vaca on in Orlando . He said he was expec ng an oceanview room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, ‘Don’t lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!’’ (OMG) 4. I got a call from a federal minister’s wife who asked, ‘’Is it possible to see Russia from Canada ?’’

Continued on Page 24

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 13

Cruising with Critter will fuck up are minor or go unno ced by others and learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.

This is no different.

Just as with being sure that you rolled down those dolly legs before you tried to drop the trailer but that sweet li!le redhead with the nice bu! walked by and distracted you and you are thankful that the trailer just fell as far as the frame and only had to sweat a bit and could recover without causing any damage and of course you took a quick look around for anyone that had borne witness to your act of carelessness.

Or making a wrong turn or taking a road with a low bridge or any number of pra alls that are inherent with the job. You learn from it and move on. It is a learning process and we will all fuck up somewhere along the way.

That is what experience is all about and the experienced will be the first to tell you that it is not a ques on of if you will fuck up but when and how many mes.

The other fun thing that you have to keep in mind is, no ma!er how much experience and knowledge that you have been able to garner you are s ll never immune from the Fuck up Gods!

They lie in wait for the cocky and the overconfident and feast on them with great joy as if they are a delicacy.

Anyone that tells you that they FOREST, ONTARIO have never made a mistake is a fucking liar or is a vegetable.

Shit, unfortunately, does happen and then you have to deal with it.

So that leads me to say I must apologize for my screw up last issue with the “What’s Shakin’ page as I omi!ed a couple of events for Clare’s with their Spring Open House and Kitchener HD for their Ladies Night from those pages and I have no one else to blame.

I had them typed out and set to be inserted and was sure and absolutely posi!ve that I’d included them but somehow did not and didn’t find out for several days when JR pointed it out to me.

I have since found other things that I wished I had done and things that I wished I hadn’t and have no doubt that I will fuck more things up in the future but will endeavour to not make the same mistakes twice.

I’m finding out that there are no shortThorold, Ontario L0S 1A0 ages of things to do with the Mag as I move 2065 Allanport Road to get things going in the direc on that I want them to go and am discovering that my ambi“On-Site Downdraft Paint Booth” ons exceed the me that I have to get them implemented and it is frustra ng but I’m s ll “Custom Paint” working away and things will take shape soon.

One of those areas is the website.

Parts Sales While the print version of the Mag is online in the new format there are other areas “Licensed Bodyman for all that are s ll a work in progress and will take a bit more me.

Body and Frame Customization” Please be pa ent as are trying to amalMechanical Shop Rate $65/hr, Body Shop Rate $58/hr gamate my other sites such as cri!ercountry. ca and merge them with theridersmag.com and make one site that will be theridersmaPhone: (905) 227-8453 Fax: (905) 227-8555 gonline.com and will allow us to put more picniagarachoppers@yahoo.ca tures on line from all of our contributors that Open Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. will be!er serve our adver sers with be!er coverage of events and make their products or events accessible to more readers and give

OK thanks for hanging in with me and being pa ent over the last few Months while I got the feel of the controls and sorted through the pi alls of being the newly ini ated Publisher/Editor.

There is a lot involved in pu ng together a monthly Magazine and there are a lot of areas where it is easy to fuck up and I’m trying to navigate through these rough roads and ge ng up to speed on the smoother roads that I’m told, lie just ahead.

I was late ge ng to press last issue as I ran into some technical issues that had me pulling out my hair and speeded up the progress of my rapidly receding hairline.

It threw everybody involved off their schedules for deliveries and everything else.

It reminds me of my experience with learning to drive a truck or learning a new route or venturing into new areas or hauling different freight or types of loads or watching others go through the same process. There is always poten al to fuck up and fuck ups are inevitable. You just have to hope that whatever things you have fucked up or

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 14

Cruising with Critter our readers more informa on and will expand our horizons immeasurably.

Another thing that I am working on is new t shirts and bringing our supplies up to a level that we can meet demands with. As it sits now, we have so limited sizes and styles so we can’t offer a proper selec on and I am looking to rec fy that situa on ASAP. I’m looking to expand our crews a bit to allow coverage of more events in more areas and hopefully a ract adver sers from those areas and thereby bringing the page count of The Mag up and have more content.

The Riders Mag is a free publica on only to our readers as we have real overhead and we rely en rely on our adver sing revenue to sustain us and that revenue is the factor that dictates what we can do and the amount of content we can put in and how many pages will be available to put the content on.

So please support our adver sers and let them know that you came to them via The Riders Mag because it is them that you have to thank for allowing us to do what we do.

I have brought Al (Alley Cat) and Guardrail onboard in the Southwest to assist our main man, Tim in coverage of that area and am working on ge ng representa on of other areas of the Province as well.

I am sorry that I couldn’t make it to the viewing and service for Rob Rowe of the Black Diamond Riders MC and the service was held right here in Newmarket but I was out of town with JR that day and was regre ably, unable to alter my agenda, to make it back in me to a end.

Rob was a Hell of a guy and I have never heard anyone who had anything but great things to say about him.

He always had a big smile on his face and always had me to talk.

I offer my hear elt condolences to his family, friends and his Club brothers and sisters on the loss of such a fine individual.

He will be sorely missed by all that knew him and the World will be a be er place for him having been here and an emp er place from his passing.

He was a man who gave love, respect and honour and was worthy of the same in return.

So I con nue plugging along and s ll get ng out there as much as I can.

The ankle has healed up well but the fractured kneecap s ll gives me some grief and tries to slow me down a bunch and tries to make it more of adventure for me.

I’ll be out at The Spring Motorcycle show this weekend along with Sr., Peppermint Pa y and as many other members of the crew that can make it and trying to get the Mag together at the same me has involved some interes ng scheduling and long days.

We just do the best we can with what we got and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover over the next while with Show season in full swing and riding season right on its heels.

See you out there.

REA

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FR E D RI

WESTERNTOWN SMOKEOUT LIV EB AN

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CAM PIN G

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FOOD

GAM E BIK

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 15

Alvinston Swap Meet 2013 Hi this is AL, for those of you who don’t know me; I’m a long- me supporter of the Mag, and a new member of the Southwestern team. I’m sure Cri er will fill you in on these changes and all the other posi ve changes for the Mag as they occur.

That said anyone who says that Mother Nature isn’t predictable hasn’t been going to the Alvinston swap meet for the last seven years, the trip has always been a snowy one, to say the least.

This is one great event that I personally look forward to, and this year was no excep on, with a ton of good parts to be had at fantas c prices.

We arrived to a packed hall, with happy buyers leaving with parts by the armful.

Ken MacDonald works hard all year, with the help of wife Kathy, to put meet togethFrank’s Magic Crops, Inc. this er, which we are in great need of Owner Frank Pastor Jr. in our area as we Horticulturalist Class III U of T have lost several Over 35 Yrs. Experience of these events in the last few Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems years. While they for Vegetables & Flowers are out and about promo ng their swap meet they also promote one Store Hours Mon. - Fri.: 10:00 - 6:00 of their sideline Saturday : 10:00 - 3:00 the Ontario Child Riding Belt, a belt Closed Sunday to help make you and your child more comfortable riding on a motorE-mail : fmci@lara.on.ca cycle, Snowmobile, ATV or even Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line on horseback.

Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario Ken seems to Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1 make this a family

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 16

by Alleycat

event, as his family always seems to be there to lend a hand, and with a smile.

Their two sons Conrad and Cameron have now grown up enough to be a big help at the event, helping take admission, stamping your hands for re-entry and running messages. I even got a chance to meet ken’s brother Alan working the back door security. Along with all this the members of the SarniaLambton Bikers Rights Organiza on of which the Macdonald’s are members are there with their booth promo ng the group and lending a helping hand.

This year’s event was sold out 2 weeks in advance to poten al vendors with a wai ng list in case someone cancelled last minute, heck there was even a vendor in the parking lot braving the cold complete with a heater in his enclosed trailer, no doubt this success is because of the hours these guy’s put in, I see them suppor ng other shows adver sing there event, this definitely paid off today.

Ken says they are already half booked up for next year, so if you want to be part of next year’s show get a hold of Ken .

There was an awesome variety of parts, ranging from bling to rolling chassis as well as a complete bike or 2.

Among the various vendor’s, a number of our various adver sers were in a endance.

Kitchener H.D. was present with array of parts to keep anyone happy .

Don and his son where present from SOS motorcycle res and accessories, they are well known for being the #1 Amsoil dealer in our area.

Moe from Fort Erie swap meet also had an array of parts to be had a good price, I have dealt with Moe in the past and he always been more than fair.

If you needed anything leather, Talisman was there to offer you a deal, and they had plenty to choose from .

Long- me supporter of the mag Iggy from Power cycle was there .

There is also a lunch area that serves a good burger and so many fries they were literally falling off the plate , they certainly hit the spot If you’re looking for parts in this area, Alvinston is a must a end event. Un l next me keep the rubber side down, from the south ALLEYCAT

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17

Big Al’s Swap Meet – 2013 I had go en away a li le later than I had intended to for the trip out to Dundas and I knew that a later arrival would insure that whatever parking spot that I would find would be secure would involve a bit of roaming all the nearby streets and would require a goodly trek both to and from.

I gathered up my trusty Nikon and my cane (The ankle is almost good like new, the knee not so much, but ge ng there.) and headed out to the show.

As I tramped my way from the spot I’d secured for the Black Bitch on a side street, several blocks away there were already hordes of people heading back to their vehicles carrying armloads of parts and treasures unloading them and scurrying back for more.

This is an extremely popular event and has always drawn enormous crowds from near and far who by tradi on come early, come ready to buy and know what they want.

This year was to be no different.

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 18

In fact, the crowds seemed even bigger than normal.

The place was jam packed and one look through the doors told me that there was no fast way through this mass of bargain hunters as it was wall to wall and shoulder to shoulder in there and if you wanted to get anywhere specific it would take a combina on of determina on, pa ence, perseverance and me and when you got to where you were going you had be er be able to hold your ground against the flow and swell of the crow long enough to make your purchase.

I found Sr. at his tradi onal post just inside the door where the members of the Red Devils look a!er him like he was one of their own.

He loves doing this event and the fine folks who run it.

I stayed and talked to Sr. awhile to make sure he was OK and cha ed with the great crew from the Red Devils that manned the doors along with the mul tude of friends who were coming and going all the me before braving a foray into the actual show area myself.

I also ran into our man Al who had helped get Sr. set up with an ample supply of Mags before doing his other du es that was to include taking pictures so that he could write up this event. Which puzzles me now while I sit here and write it before heading back to the Spring Motorcycle Show later this morning so that we can finish the layout of the next issue of The Mag, relieved that I did go myself and took some pictures of my own to accompany this piece.

Whatever, I s ll enjoy the event immensely, and have a ball the whole me that I’m here because most everybody I know is either here or they just le! and will be back or on their way here.

It takes a while moving through here at the best of mes, but for me, I have to also factor in the many mes that I have to stop briefly to shake a hand and exchange short greetings with the many great people that I spot on my way by. A long stop or long gree ng s are not possible here as you would be restric ng the already restricted flow of bikers anxious to get to a table to haggle over some much needed part and that contravenes Swap meet protocol, which is if you want to shoot the shit, get the fuck outside and out of the way others want to see and buy stuff, not talk.

But there is plenty of talking and socializing done either outside or while scoffing down one of the great hotdogs that they serve or outside where there is always a bunch milling around.

This is everything a Swap Meet should be.

There is nothing pre y or preten ous about it. It is purely and simply a Swap Meet and that is what these people love about it and that is why so many come here year a!er year.

If you need it, it is probably here but you need to find it first before someone else snaps it up before you get to it and if you are lucky to find what you’re looking for you’d be best advised to buy it then and not check the other booths

Big Al’s Swap Meet – 2013 to see if they have the same at a be"er price because the chances are by the me you come back it will have been sold.

This place is a treasure trove, crammed wall to wall with assorted goodies that may appear to be nothing but junk to the untrained eye but to the bikers that come here as vendors or the hordes that come here to rummage through the piles on table tops and boxes under tables or leaning against walls it is like finding Eldorado especially if the search results in finding that rare and much needed part for whatever project they happen to be working on.

These aren’t your weekend warriors and dress up bikers these guys and gals are hard core.

I moved through the slowly, not really looking for anything specific but looking in case that I spot something that I can use or a friend might have been searching for mee ng and gree ng with friends, readers and adver sers along the way.

I made my way up the stairs to get a couple of great shots of the crowd, and spo"ed people that I didn’t know were here from that vantage point.

Ex-boss man JR showed up with a much appreciated tray of cof-

fee for the It’s Kool To Drink Healthy crew and we RENT A FREEZER FULL OF ICE managed FOR YOUR WEEKEND PARTY to squeeze in a short mee ng to compare notes.

I hung out for a while but now as boss, I now have all these other du es that need tending to that JR OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK relishes in Mon - Fri 10 to 7 ! Sat - Sun 10 to 5 reminding me about in between regaling me with all the neat stuff he’s doing now that I relieved him of those burdens.

I made my way out saying my goodbyes on the way, made the long trek back to the truck and headed for home.

I’m looking forward to next year’s Swap Meet already.

Great show guys! I had a ball. Thanks for doing what you do, It is a pleasure.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 19

One Modern Knuckle Chopper

This month’s feature guy is Dave, and besides being a long me adver ser in the mag this is the 3rd vintage bike from his awesome collec on that we have featured. Interes ngly at least to me we have had his very original 45 c.i. W.L.C. flat head on the list for many years but every me it comes up for feature Dave has something recently finished and would like to get it into the mag because it is a li le rarer but I promise we will get to that special olive drab painfully original, museum quality piece that he rides occasionally.

here to tell ya that his collec on is show quality.

This is his ultra sweet knuckle chopper and there is nothing usual about this ride and in my opinion it was a complete departure from everything I knew about Dave and his collec on for all the years I have known the man and he has been endeavouring to create a comprehensive collec on of all things Harley since back in the days when the mag was young and he wanted a restored vintage everything in his collec on.

As it turned out the guy had owned the en re bike and had sold the motor and transmission to another who did not want the frame as it had been chopped with a custom front end, and he claimed it to be a 1947 FLH and that in addi on

Dave says the cool thing about this build which took about 10 years was that the custom chopper style build has no rules, which means that there was no purest standing around saying that ain’t right, it wasn’t like that or anything else of that sort of cri cism. In reality Dave doesn’t show his bikes much beyond maybe riding out to a local bike night or maybe a ride in show and shine but I am

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 20

He says he happened to be out Welland way on business many years ago and was driving by a house in the country and there was a frame with a Springer front end chained to a tree with a for sale sign on it, of course the curious collector had to stop and inquire as to what it was the owner thought it was, what he wanted for it and what other pieces there were and of course the circumstances of a frame and front end only minus wheels and most everything else.

One Modern Knuckle Chopper the stock knuckle didn’t make enough horsepower for a baker 6 speed so assumed there was an ulterior mo ve to this high end piece of equipment, the answer was electric start and Dave fired that old baby up in the driveway and she started and idled like an evo but didn’t sound too much like an evo having that dis nctly knuckle sound to it.

Some of the customiza on or magic as some might call it was performed by Mar n at Mar ns custom motorcycle in Cobourg which included customizing an oil tank to sit overtop of the transmission with the starter motor and also hid the ba ery in behind the oil tank as well.

The custom Springer that came with the kit Dave bought was upgraded with a solid steel girder to strengthen the front end prevent tor oning, and smooth out the ride taking about the propensity to bounce. Low air pressure in the rear re on the rigid helps as well eh?

The upper tree is adorned with a sporterster XL instrument cluster, and risers topped off with a set of mini to what was chained to the tree out front there were 3 milk crates full of other parts that went along with the frame and included, the headlights, a taillight, the rear fender and Dave thinks maybe the transmission plate.

Dave purchased the collec on of le!overs and took them home to his garage and stored the frame and front end in the ra!ers of the garage for future considera on and over a period he es mates to be about 10 years he came up with the various pieces to put together a 1947 knuckle chopper that is very custom and very special. He located the original cases on the internet and ordered them in and was able to find some of the other pieces locally through his vintage contacts and the rest on the internet, Dave says he really doesn’t go to too many swap meets looking for parts.

Once the engine was put together he obtained a nice custom cv carb from a guy in California who builds these later model carbs specifically je ed for the older stuff, a car alternator adapted from a mopar car applica on manufactured in some guys garage in the Mari mes was the leading edge of conver ng the igni on from the original 6 volt system over to a 12 volt. A modified nose cone shovel primary belt was modified to connect the engine to the transmission.

That transmission is a baker 6 speed, and knowing a li le bit about bikes, choppers, horsepower, etc I knew that

apes, and v-rod hydraulic clutch controls and front disc brakes ala v-rod. The custom fender floats freely on the axle pivot of the front wheel bringing that fender down from looking like a dirt bike to one that travels up and down in harmony with the front wheel.

The rear wheels stopping power is compliments of a stock Harley banana caliper rear brake and the rear fender is supported by a custom sissy bar, the fender has internal struts suppor ng the weight of the rider and passenger making this one slick looking package that Dave says gets lots of thumbs up from everyone who sees it when it’s on the road.

Dave says he likes the no rules idea of the chopper so much that he’s got another in process over at Ta oo Tonys heavy duty who does most of the work on Dave’s bikes, the next project is another Panhead chopper but this one’s got a 96” engine that might make enough power to push a 6 speed and I could tell while he talked about it he was excited. The truth is that his wife and lovely model Lisa seen here on the bike has laid claim to this easy star ng and easy riding knuckle so Dave is building another for himself, when I asked about the difference in horsepower, he smiled and said, you know she’s way lighter than I am. Can’t wait to get back and do the next chapter.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 21

Brothers of the Blade MC – Throttle Itch 2013 It feels good to write that heading once again as it has been a while since last I was able to do so and report on the party.

This is downsized a whole lot from the once enormous tradi onal annual party that was so looked forward to by so many for so many years, but it was a Throttle Itch Party and it was great to see it back in whatever form it was in.

The Blades wonderful CH would serve as the venue for this great party for such a great cause.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay late as I had been busy all day a huge day ahead for the next day as well but I had to go for whatever me I could manage.

This was Thro le Itch and I wasn’t going to miss it!

These are great people and I love coming here any me but “Throttle Itch”………..I was in!

The Thro le Itch Party in its old form was a huge, invite only event that had people coming from miles around and planning en re weekends around them.

They had fantas c bands and the par es ran late and spilled over into other smaller par es after the Thro le Itch party

298 Colborne St.

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 22

broke up in the wee hours.

It had the well-deserved and well-earned reputa on of being one of the best par es around.

There were silent auc ons, door prizes and raffles and the par es was a ball from start to finish.

A few years ago a$er some confusion with the venue, the event was cancelled and while it was a huge shock to those who looked forward to it each year it was a necessary decision

Brothers of the Blade MC – Throttle Itch 2013

Blades administer as well.

The Thro le Itch was the main fundraiser event for the charity and the charity was the big loser here.

So the Blades decided to keep it alive in whatever form they could and would carry on regardless.

They s ll get tremendous support with their Brothers and

as finding an acceptable alternate loca on on short no ce with me to advise every one of those changes would be near impossible.

This was a huge loss to the WISH Founda on Charity that the

stuck with it for all those years and con nue to keep the event and the tradi ons alive.

Great Party guys and Gals and great work!

590 York Rd. Niagara on the Lake, ON L0S 1J0 905-684-4647 www.claresharleydavidson.com

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It may or may not ever get back to the size and spectacle of what it once was but it was s ll “The Thro le Itch Party” and the spirit behind it and the cause behind it is real and sincere and in my mind it s ll holds true.

As I said I couldn’t stay late but the house was filling up quickly and I knew that there would be many, many more showing up as the night wore on and they would be partying un l the wee hours.

It is a tribute to those who

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 23

JOKE

PAGE I explained that Alberta was an hour ahead of B.C. , but she couldn’t understand the concept of me zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A Québec MP, called and asked, ‘’Do airlines put your physical descrip on on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?’’

I said, ‘No, why do you ask ?’

He replied, ‘’Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!’’

A er pu ng him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just pu ng a des na on tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator from Saskatchewan called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . A er going over all the cost info, she asked, ‘’Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?’’

I said, ‘’No.’’ She said, ‘’But they look so close on the map’’ (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reserva on and no ced he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ‘’I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save me.’’ (Aghhhh) 6. A Calgary council member called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Calgary le at 8:30 a.m., and got to Vancouver at 8:33 a.m

“WORLD OF MOTORCYCLES EXPO

9. I just got off the phone with a rookie MPP from Ontario who asked, ‘’How do I know which plane to get on ?’’

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ‘’I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them .’’

10. A senator called and said, ‘’I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those li le computer planes?’’

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ‘’Yeah, whatever, Smarty!”

11 A senior federal government official called and had a ques on about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . A er a lengthy discussion about passSPECIAL” ports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.

“Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many mes and never had to have one of those. ‘’ I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ‘’Look, I’ve been to China four mes and every me they have accepted my American Express!’’

12 A Newfoundland & Labrador minister called to make reserva ons, ‘’I want to go from St John’s to Rhino, New York .’’

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ‘’Are you sure that’s the name of the town?’’

LIGHTWEIGHT ALL ALUMINUM MOTORCYCLE TRAILERS ‘Yes, what flights do you have?’’ replied Popular models the man .

5 x 8 + v-nose = $2449 - single; 6 x 12 + v-nose = $3389 - dual A er some searching, I came back with, 7 x 12 + v-nose = $3890 - dual touring; 7 x 14 + v-nose = $5389 - two bikes + ‘’I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anySHOW SPECIAL SAVINGS: where.”

5' and 6' wide models - free ramp door with spring assist, rv. side door with ‘’The man retorted, ‘’Oh, don’t be silly! piano hinge- total of $ 410.00 in options for free Everyone knows where it is. Check your 7' and 8' wide models - free ramp door, rv. style side door with piano hinge, helmet cabinet, map!’’

So I scoured a map of the state of New nxp style rear door latch and two tone slash option - total of $ 960.00 in options for free..

York and finally offered, ‘’You don’t mean Bufwww.actiontrailers.ca falo , do you ?’’

The reply? ‘’Whatever! I knew it was a big 4728 Egremont Dr. Strathroy, ON (15 min. west of London)

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 24

JOKE

PAGE

animal.’’

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it’s in !

Could ANYONE be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED .

A Newfoundlander was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the Shadows ‘Twenty dollars’ she whispers, Perry had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks..

So they hide in the bushes..

They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them . It is a police officer!

‘What’s going on here, people?’ asks the officer.

‘I’m making love to me wife!,’ the Newfoundlander answers sounding annoyed.

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ says the cop, ‘I didn’t know’.

‘Well, neidder did I, l ya shined that light in her face.

A er three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few words to the big Indian.

Leaning over towards him, he whispered, “Do you want a blow job?”

At this, the massive Indian leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked the shit out of the gay man, knocking him swi ly off his stool.

He proceeded to beat him all the way out of the bar, leaving him bruised and ba"ered in the parking lot, then returned to his seat.

Amazed, the bartender quickly brought over another beer to the Indian, and said, “I’ve never seen you react like that. What did he say to you?”

I don’t know,” the Indian replied. “Something about a job Nescafe manages to arrange a mee ng with the Pope at the Va can.

A er receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers ‘Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’

The Pope responds, ‘That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.’

‘Well,’ said the Nescafe man, ‘we an cipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.’

‘My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord andit must not be changed.’

The Nescafe guy says, ‘Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…. We will donate $500 million - that’s half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily coffee.’ Please consider it.’

And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.’There is some good news,’ he announces, ‘and some bad news.

The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million.’’And the bad news your Holiness?’ asks a Cardinal.’We’re losing the Wonder-Bread account.’

It was 1965 I was 15 .I went in to buy a packet of con-

a

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1, Hamilton Road, London, Ont. N6B-1M9 doms at the drug store .

In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that .

There was no doubt the young lady ( I think her name was Delores ) knew what they were for.

She was working behind the counter and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one .I honestly answered , ‘ No , not really .’

So she unwrapped the package , took one out and slipped it over her thumb .She cau oned me to make sure it was on ght and secure .

Apparently I s ll looked confused .So , she looked all around the store to see if it was empty .It was . ‘ Just a minute ,’ she said , and walked to the door and locked it .

Continued on Page 28

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 25

BIKERS CHURCH

One Modern Knuckle Chopper Owner: Dave Z. City: Mississauga, ON

Frame Builder: H-D Year: 1947 Bull Neck Type: FLH Modified Rake: 40’ Swing Arm: Rigid

General Year & Make : 1947 Model: FLH Fabrica on by: Mar ns Accessories Custom Handlebars: Mini Apes Value: Priceless Assembly by: Heavy Duty Risers: H-D Sportster Controls H-D V-Rod Cycles Seat: King/Queen Signals: Arm Engine Tailight: H-D 55 Pan Year: 1947 Oil Tank: H-D 58 Police Model: Knuckle Special Builder: Harley- Davidson Rebuilder: Steve, Heavy Gas Tank: 2 gal Peanut Duty Cycles Front Pegs: H-D Boards Rear Pegs: None Displacement: 80” Foot Controls: 58 Pan Lower end: H-D Electrics: 12v Alternator Pistons: S & S Conversion Rods: S & S Headlight: Dual Rectangular Flywheels: S & S Max King Cylinders: H-D Speedometer: H-D Sportster Cases: H-D Guages: H-D Sportster Heads: H-D Primary Cover: None Valves: H-D Cam: Leinweber Front End Li"ers: Jims Igni on: MSD Electronic Type: H-D Year: 1942-46 in line springer Coils/Wires: Dyna Builder: Mar ns Custom Carb: CV reworked by Motorcycle Killer Carbs Extension: 10” Air Cleaner: S & S Pipes: NOS Superior Wheels Shotgun Front Transmi on Size: 18” Type: Star Hub Spoke Year: 2001 Tire: Dunlop Type: Baker 6 Speed Brake: PM 2 Piston Shi"ing: foot Clutch: Barne Scorpion Fender: Custom Fender Struts: Mar ns Gears: H-D Custom Motorcycle Case: Baker Primary Drive: BDL Belt Rear Size: 16” Pain ng Colour: 1970 Plum Crazy Type: Star Hub Spoke Tire: Dunlop Typer: Metal Flake Brakes: H-D Banana Caliper Painter: John Connery Fender: H-D 3 Piece Customized Model: Lisa

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 26

The other day I received a le er with a big ques on “Is their really a Hell?”

According to Gallup research, 94% of adults believe in God or a universal spirit; 84% believe Jesus Christ is God or the Son of God; and 53% believe in a literal hell. A Newsweek poll found that 94% believe in God; 77% believe in a heaven; 76% think they have a good or excellent chance of ge ng there. 58% of those surveyed believe in hell. In rejec ng heaven and hell, one also rejects the awesome seriousness of moral and immoral behavior. But for those who take God seriously, human freedom means the capacity to make moral decisions, which have radical and enduring consequences. In general more adults in the . believe in hell now than did 40 years ago. The concept was losing ground as recently as 1980 when just over half of those surveyed said they believed in hell. By 1990 the percentage had risen to 60%.

Others say the prevalence of suffering and violence in modern society makes hell seem more plausible. Perhaps it simply reflects a nostalgic longing for the uncomplicated beliefs of childhood. Hell, then is not a place created by a God bent on ge ng even, but the aliena on we choose for ourselves. Heaven, on the other hand, is for lovers- -of others and of God. Atheist: Do you honestly believe that Jonah spent three days and three nights in the belly of a whale? Preacher: I don’t know, sir, but when I get to heaven, I’m gonna ask him about it. Atheist: But what if he isn’t in heaven?

Preacher: Then YOU can ask him!

I. What Is Hell?

A. It is not just a by-word or fantasy of man’s imagina on. Hell is a reality; a real place for real people. To deny the reality of Hell is to deny the character of God as revealed in God’s word. God is love.

B. A place to fear, and avoid!

C. A lake of fire and brimstone.

D. A bo omless pit.

E. Like an oriental death house with weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. ) F. Place of outer darkness.

G. Hell is a place of immeasurable loss!

H. Hell will be a place of painful remorse, sorrow, shame, and self condemna on will be in every heart, the hopelessness and despair will be overwhelming.

I. The dura on of hell will be eternal.

A pamphlet contained the dying words of various people who were unsaved. It quoted Thomas Hobbes the atheist as saying, “I am taking a fearful leap into the dark!” The French infidel Voltaire cried out, “I am abandoned by God and man; I shall go to Hell!” Sir Francis Newport wailed in anguish, “Oh,

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BIKERS that I could lie for a thousand years upon the fire that is never quenched, to purchase the favor of God and be united to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish. Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer the end of my torments than one poor hour.

Oh, eternity, eternity forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of Hell!”

J. No reform school from which to graduate. Purgatory is a wis ul dream.

K. Hell is not a prepara on for heaven.

II. Who Is Going There?

A. Unbelievers.

B. Those who believe not the truth.

C. Angels who sin.

D. Unfaithful Chris ans.

III. Why Is There Such A Place?

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A. Wrong Choices.

1. God doesn’t force anyone into eternal punishment.

It is a ma er of choice.

2. God does not choose eternal punishment for any of us we make that choice ourselves.

3. “Few there be that find it” because very few are willing to make the right choice.

4. Choose to serve the Devil and you chose the des ny of the Devil.

5. God and Satan become two magnets a rac ng men. a. Satan appeals to man through lusts, and ignorance. b. God appeals to man through truth, ideas and lasting values.

TRAILERS & TRIKES

B. Hell exists because we need the restraints of fear as well as the allurements of love.

1. Imagine a law without a penalty a ached for viola on. “Where there is no penalty, the law is null and void.”

2.If there were no hell there would be no law.

3. Reality of discipline keeps children obedient.

CONCLUSION: A. Who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

B. Jesus died for all that they might be saved.

C. Satan wishes to convince men that sin really isn’t that bad, then when man sins Satan persuades men that they are given over to sin.

The power of God will assist you to overcome sin and avoid this awful des ny.

If anyone would like to receive my notes email me and I will send them Pastor Dave daveneals@bikerschurch.com

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 27

JOKE

Taking my hand , she led me into the back room , unbu oned her blouse and removed it .

She unhooked her bra and laid it aside .’ Do these excite you ?’ She asked .

Well , I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head .

She then said it was me to slip the condom on .

As I was slipping it on , she dropped her skirt , removed her pan es and lay down on a desk .’ Well , come on ,’ she said , ‘ We don’t have much me .’

So I climbed onto her .It was so wonderful that , unfortunately I could no longer hold back and KAPOW , I was done within a few moments .

She looked at me with a bit of a frown , ‘ Did you put that condom on ?’ she asked .

I said , ‘ sure did ,’ and held up my thumb to show her .

That’s when she beat the shit out of me....

Women have always been hard to figure out .

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t gra any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her bu ocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. A er all, this was a very delicate ma er.

PAGE

For crying out loud Ma! I know this bike was supposed to be ready first thing this morning and I know that I shouldn’t have gone drinking with the guys last night and I’m hung over but I didn’t go on at you when you did the same thing last Friday

A er the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and rela ves just went on and on about his youthful looks!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emo on at her sacrifice. He said, ‘Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?’

‘My darling,’ she replied, ‘I get all the thanks I need every me I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.’

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A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain.

While sipping his wine, he no ced a sizzling,scrump ous looking pla er being served at the next table.Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’

The waiter replied, ‘Si senor, you have excellent taste!Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s tes cles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’

The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me an order.’

The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry senor.There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this Continued on Page 33

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Clare’s Christmas Open House By Rose T. I have seen quite a few riders out and about this December because of the mild weather. The Indian Summer we had in November must have given everyone the itch to go to Clare’s and get some chrome for Christmas. Unfortunately the weather changed and everyone drove in on four wheels. When I got there at 9 am the store was filled with customers buying ornaments, clothes and even kicking res and thinking of a Harley Holiday.

The lovely Lisa was at the door greeting everyone and handing out posters and ballots for door prizes. Diane and Harry, of the Fabulous Fenwick Lions Club, were at their usual spot selling

ckets on next year’s Biketoberfest 2013 Harley-Davidson CVO Ultra Classic Electra Glide draw. Brother’s Keeper members were in the same spot along the back wall and people wondering around everywhere in

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 30

between. I counted over 50 bikes on the floor for sale and it looked like some people were seriously looking at a new ride for spring.

Niagara HOG was set up in their usual HOG® corner. They had one table set up to sell ckets on a Christmas Basket that was going to be drawn at their annual Christmas Dinner Dance on December 12.

The winner of the Christmas Cheer Basket was Clare’s own Suzanne… congrats.

They also had a table set up to sell ckets on the Friday the 13th Quilt. Sales were good and the winner of the quilt was Steve from Fonthill…Bravo!!

Niagara HOG® also had a table set up with all kinds of finger food thanks to members of HOG®….nice touch.

John Clare walked around welcoming everyone and was also spo ed buying

Spring Open House in March.

ckets on the B. Basket.

Randy was spo ed behind the Diana Sweets counter, where coffee and donuts were available and also behind the sales counter.

Unfortunately I could not find anyone that would tes fy he was actually working back there. The Clare’s family was very pleased with the large turnout and are looking forward to their

Clare’s Fenwick Open House I was out of the country when Clare’s Harley-Davidson open house happened in December of last year, gratefully Rose was able to step up and take care of the event for us, and because I wanted to get out and visit I decided to take the Fenwick open house at the original shop on highway 20 which was the following weekend on this occasion.

I have covered a few events at the original Clare’s since the new Harley shop was opened in 2008, the old shop s ll hosts open houses several mes a year and a li le summer event called Clare’s day in the summer where they set up

by JR

swappers in the field next door to the shop which is part of about 200 acres which was the original property for the shop which opened back in the 50’s.

I can always be sure to find John Clare the founder of Clare’s at the Fenwick loca on, it being his original concept all those years ago and had grown into a rather large collec on of buildings over the years as motorcycle brands were added and those companies expanded into other power products such as lawn mowers, outboard motors, watercra just to men on a few. John and his wife Donna spend their winters down south these years but always come home for the company open houses, on this occasion John was poin ng out to me the various expansions to the shop over the years saying each addi on was dated and held the

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 31

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by JR

ini als of family members of the day.

All of John’s living siblings came out for this par cular event and was the first me that I was aware that he had brothers and sisters having never really put any thought into it but he pointed out that one of his sisters was selling handmade bracelets in support of children born with cle palates, this in addi on to a lady selling books about her inspiring experiences and the freedom of riding her motorcycle and of course the Fenwick lions were on hand selling ckets on this year’s Harley Davidson draw.

I had never really wandered too much around the Fenwick shop as most visits when the Harley dealership was located there were focused on a couple of rooms with new and used Harleys in them the parts department and the service department which took up maybe a third of the en re complex if that but it was always packed to the ra ers and you were free to move anywhere within the area including the service department It’s was odd to see the old parts department converted into offices and the Harley service converted into a showroom for atv’s but there was no empty spaces at all the en re former spaces were all occupied and the place was a happening all the same but as for the open house for obvious reasons on a much smaller scale than the old days.

There were s ll a lot of familiar faces and all the import and farm clients s ll come out in force to show their support for the original Clare’s loca on and indulge in the complementary coffee and donuts that have been the signature of a Clare’s open house for many years now and of course there were bikes being sold on the floor this days, deals to be had and lots of accessories ranging from saddlebags, to helmets, to colored metric leathers on sale and racks of clothing marked down for clearance and sales were brisk.

There’s always a deal to be had at either Clare’s loca on so keep your eye on the mag and events calendar and swing on by to visit when they are having one of their open houses, some mes they hold them on the same day some mes they are separate but it’s always a good me.

JOKE delicacy.’

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order,and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.A er a few bites, inspec ng his pla er, he called to the waiter and said,’These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.’

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, Si, Senor.

Some mes the bull wins.”

A minister decided that a visual demonstra on would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigare e smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead .

The second worm in cigare e smoke . . . Dead .

Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive …

So the Minister asked the congrega on, “What did you learn from this demonstra on?”

Maxine was si ng in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .

“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

That pre y much ended the service!

It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem.

The storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, res ng on four, res ng on nine, which rested on sixteen.Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.

There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.

The solu on was a metal plate with 16 round indenta ons, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this

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Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.

Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indenta ons would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.

Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this me, most folks thought that was just a vulgar expression?

One day, shortly a er joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did.

A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, “Excuse me, do you speak English?”

Lee responded, “Yes Ma’am, I do.”

The lady then asked, “What do you charge to do yard work?”

Lee said, “Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her.”

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.

A man and a woman were si ng beside each other in the first class sec on of an airplane.

Continued on Page 38

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33

Thanks For The Mammaries

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 34

Thanks For The Mammaries

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35

RIDING THE SOUTHWEST Good day all I would like to introduce myself.

I am known as Guardrail, I am from the Windsor area and been riding Harleys for about 20 yrs.

Weather around Windsor area has been like everywhere else this year (miserable)..Snow, cold, etc. Personally, I can’t stand winter and having to put the bikes away.

Started out on the 16th of Feb heading east .I had two great events that wanted to a end that evening. The snow started coming down around noon, and me and the wife Linda were headed out around 4pm on our way to the Iron Phoenix games night. Fueled up we were ready for the highway, but by now the snow was several inches deep, so we slipped and slid down the 401 and seeing one car a er another in the ditch we were wondering if this was a good idea. As we approached the 3rd exit of our trip there was a roll over in the centre median and a rear end accident in

the centre lane with cars spun out all around.

Well you know it, I packed it in ,took the exit and headed back home. Be er safe than sorry. Ended up missing the Iron Phoenix party and also the Horsemen M.C. had a movie night which I was gonna hit a er the aforemen oned party. I did hear that both par es went off without a hitch and fun was had by all who a ended. Guess the nest Horsemen event is their May 18th Poker run. So if you’re in that area stop in and see the guys they will appreciate it.

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1111 DAVIS DRIVE, SUITE 501, UNIT 23 NEWMARKET, ON. L3Y 9E5 THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 36

RIDING THE SOUTHWEST HI everyone its Al, I’m new to the mag but no stranger our adver sers in our area, being a new team, if we to our lifestyle. missed you please contact us, so we can follow up next I’ve been riding since I was old enough to pick it up month. Now to some deals for our readers. and kick it over, that was the rule to ride when I was a kid.

I talked to Nash a long me supporter of our Mag and Over the years I’ve owned dozens of bikes, star ng various shows, and he is ge ng ready for spring. Nash’s with a Honda 50,to a Suzuki RM 250,then when I was old store Leather Kthing is havingthan inventory clearance sale enough to graduate to the road I started with metrics, from March 15 to April 30 ,if your looking for gear this when I got bored with that I turned to the drag strip. As a is a stop you simply must make. Among the goodies’ you youth nothing ever seemed fast enough, can you say more can find t-shirts and hoodies from brass knuckles, Joe guts than brains. I owned a bike as my only mode of transrocket gear, helmets from Zmax, Zox, nd Scorpion. porta on, so I was no stranger to winter driving.

Nash is always a pleasure to deal with and he will be Currently I own a teal 04 heritage ,a few metrics, and more than glad to sell you boots from Harley and Boua build that started with a superglide frame ,that I call “my let ,as well patches and s ckers and to many numerous can’t do it bike” because every me I’m told I can’t do things to men on. something it strengthens my resolve to do it.

As always make sure to tell him we sent you.

There have been some changes to the Mag , we now I spoke to Kim from Robinson’s Motorcycles there have a southwest team to give Tim some support and betgearing up as well; if you’re in the market for a good used ter cover our area. We are ac vely seeking adver sers and bike there is no be er place in our area. With the largest events in our area, as you know we need this Mag here selec on of bikes in Canada, they have 180 at last count, as good reliable info can be hard to get at mes and the with everything from 87 so ail to 2012 H.D.s, and the events could really use some coverage and support. We will 2013 on their way. be out and about in the community and very approachable They also have any a ermarket parts you could want and we hope that you will seek us out as well, and let us to dress your bike, you purchased or own, with some Harknow. ley parts available. They have a great service department All our contact info will be in The Mag and we look if your bike needs anything from an oil change to repairs. forward to seeing you.

On behalf of the Riders Mag I would like to welcome I have been a supporter of the mag pre y much since Lenn from Trike your bike to the mag. its first days, maybe, missing the first months if that. This If you’re looking for trike Lenn is the guy to see with mag is a wealth of info that supports our lifestyle, but we a selec on from, Motor , Lehman, Hannigan, and Chamcan’t do it without the support of readers, it’s a true circle, pion trike, as well as California Sidecars, all available in readers and adver sers. Having said that we couldn’t possi- custom paint. bly have this Mag without our adver ser’s, they’re the ones Kuryakin told Lenn he has the who give us the financial support to bring you the Mag for widest selec on in Windsor, as well as free. When you support an adver ser let them know you res and other accessories. saw them in the RIDERS MAG. For our readers Lenn told me they If you’re interested in adver sing rates please contact are having a special for April 1000 dolyour local reps or the Mag offices and we will be glad to lars off any kit, just amazing. assist you and supply you with any informa on you may need.

Keep the rubber side down If you’re from the south, or southwest area, the weathFrom the southwest for the southerman has said our 3 months of winter are officially over, west team and Mother Nature seems to have complied.

As I said myself and all the reps are out and about and Alleycat, Al Marente e in these parts The Alvinston Swap meet seems to be the almarent@yahoo.ca harbinger of Spring and marks the last throws of winter, and it seems to be holding true to form this year.

There are many events in the works and this next riding season is shaping up to be a good one. There are many perennial favourites as The Falcons MC are having their bash again this year before the Run to the wall in July these are very well a ended events and worthy of support.

The veterans host this party in conjunc on with the Run to the wall put on by the Northwall Riderswatch the Mag for more info.

MY March 10th marked the seventh annual bikers breakfast at Collasante gardens, this is an event that grows every year for a group of riders in Leamington, that want a group with Lenn Curtis no rules, Gord and Heather Epp have donated 519.919.5535 their me to organizing this since its incep on.

It was such a mild day we took the so ail out, 3143 Walker Rd., Windsor and where joined by a few others for an a er breakfast ride that ended in the a ernoon.

9500 Walker Rd., McGregor Ok people the 3 months seemed just long enough for most cage drivers to forget about us, so please be careful out there, and everyone DEALER FOR: HANNIGAN r MOTOR TRIKE r LEHMAN else please watch for bikes.

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 37

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The woman sneezed, took out a ssue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten or fi een seconds.

The man went back to reading his book. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a ssue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Although assuming the woman might have a cold, the man was s ll curious about the shuddering.

A few minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a ssue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but no ce that you have sneezed three mes, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently. Are you okay?”

The woman replied, “I am sorry if I disturb ed you. I have a rare medical condi on. Whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was s ll curious. “I have never heard of that condi on before,” he said.

“Are you taking anything for it?”

The woman nodded. “Black pepper.”

A young man moved out from home and into a new

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 38

PAGE apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversa on with Him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

A er a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is mybest feature?’

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, ‘It’s got to be your ears.’

Astounded, and a li le hurt she asked, ‘My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered... ‘Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... that was me.’

A guy was hun ng when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged, shoo ng him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

“Well, sir, I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very li le internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”

“What’s the bad news?” asked the hunter..

“The bad news is that there was some pre y extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which le quite a few holes in it. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”

“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” the hunter replied.

“Is your sister a plas c surgeon?”

“Not exactly” answered the doctor.

“She’s a flute player in the London Symphony Orchestra.

She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye..”

“Turtle” Dear Mr. Harper: I’m planning to move my family and extended family into Pakistan for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We’re planning to simply fly from Canada into Pakistan, and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigra on quotas and laws.

I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that I’m on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expec ng the following: 1. Free medical care for my en re family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Pakistani Government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by Englishspeaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on

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