The Rider's Mag Sept/Oct 2013 V15-n07 by The Rider's Mag

The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

THE RIDER’S MAG READ FREE! RIDE FREE!

Volume 15 #7

Abate Final Frontier

WesternTown

Sept. Oct. 2013

Cargill Bike Bash

He`s Back !

Smoke-Out

Joke Page

Feature Bike

What’s Shakin’

We Support

Our Troops!!!

The Rider’s Guide to Ontario and Beyond!! Over 25,000 Readers and Growing www.theridersmag.com

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Table of Contents

www.hipscycle.ca 900 Colborne St. East 519-756-6218 Brantford, Ontario

Pg. 4 – What’s Shakin’

Store Hours Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

What’s going on!

Pg. 5 – Figh!ng for you rights.

Scary Larry shakes things up.

Pg. 7 – Cargill Bike Bash

Sherri O Irish par"es with the Cargillians.

Pg. 10 – ABATE The Final Fron!er 2013 Cri#er chills in Priceville.

Pg. 16 - 3rd Annual Ride Manitoulin Run Manon goes to the big island.

Pg. 21 – On the Road

The big guy speaks up!

Since 1988

Pg. 22 – Cruising with Cri"er Cri#er spouts oﬀ.

WE DO IT ALL!

Pg. 25 – Joke page.

Time to bust a gut!

Pg. 28 - All year Rider

Our feature Bike.

Pg. 30 – Greed is the Enemy!

M.T.O. INSPECTION STATION

Pg. 34 – Western Town Smoke-out 2013

PARTS AVAILABLE FROM ALL SUPPLIERS

Donny Peterson returns to The Mag! Cri#er hangs with the Twins and Company.

Pg. 38 – Ladies and their Harleys. Feature ar"cle.

Pg. 40 – From the far East….Ontario that is!

Beau represents the eastern extremi"es and beyond!

Pg. 45 – Eagle Eye Custom Cycle Newmarket Grand opening.

ALL LICENSED MECHANICS

Eagle Eye spreads it’s wings and expands into Cri#er Country.

Pg. 48 – Lincoln County MC Show and Shine. Rose checks out the shiny stuﬀ.

Pg. 50 – Hello Fellow Inmates.

Dangerous Donnie does Durham and beyond.

Pg. 52 – Riding the Southwest.

Guardrail keeps o keeping on ….regardless!

THE RIDER’S MAG 1111 Davis Drive, Suite 501, Unit 23, Newmarket, ON L3Y 9E5 Phone: (905) 235-5353 Toll Free 1-855-873-6680 Fax: (905) 235-5358 Email: rickdavis@theridersmag.com Website: www.theridersmag.com

Publisher / Editor : Rick Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Creative Content Manager: Peppermint Patty Office Manager: Diane Davis

Advertizing and Sales Eastern Ont./Western Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southern Ontario Rep: J.R. MacRae 905-631-5890 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Contributing Writers Pastor Dave Neals, Danni, Scary Larry, Manon Kellman, Beau Rooney, Jonathan Musson, Al Marentette, Rossaire, Tim Armstrong, Donny Petersen, Bob Loblaw, Sherri O’Irish, Donnie Meeker Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter, Michael MacDonald Office Security Supplied By: Captain & Morgan “The Wonder Dogs" Printed By :

Grimsby, Ontario

164 Main Street, Lucan ON N0M 2J0

Pre-owned Harley Davidson Sales & Service

519-227-1331

Fax: 519-227-1581

Financing Available

WE BUY AND SELL HARLEYS GIVE US A CALL WE’LL MAKE YOU A DEAL

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PUT SOMETHING POWERFUL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS !!! hogtowncycles.ca THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3

What’s

Every Monday The Checkered Flag Bar and Grill –

3671 Hwy #6, Mount Hope. (At By-Pass) Monday Night Riders Special – 2 for 1 Burgers – Cri!er’s Crew Cards accepted for a further 13% discount. 905-679-2419

Every Tuesday The Albion Hotel’s Amazing Bike Night –

From May – September! Door prizes and Year end Grand Prize! 1 Main St. Bayﬁeld, On. 519-565-2641

Every Wednesday Checkered Flag Bar and Grill –

3671 Hwy #6, Mount Hope. (At By-Pass) ½ price Wings Cri!er’s Crew Cards accepted for a further 13% discount. 905-679-2419

Every Thursday Clare’s Harley Davidson – Bike Night – Star ng th

June 6 Thro!le Therapy Thursday 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM 590 York Rd. Niagara On The Lake, On., 905-684-4647 www.claresharleydavidson.com

Lore!o Tavern – Riders Night –

7994 County Rd. 1 at Hwy 50 – In The Heart of Lore!o. Specials for Riders – Cri!er Crew Cards accepted for greater savings!905-729-2215

Shakin’ Every Sunday Sunday Motorcycle Cruise Nights - starts 5:00 PM Denny’s Restaurant – 2208 Bank St. (Near Hunt Club) South Keys Plaza, Show and Shines – Door Prizes – Games More info – Beau 613-295-4444 theridersmag.beau@ gmail.com

September Sept.7th – Final Race of the Season – Niagara Motorcycle Raceway

7:00PM – Gates open at 5PM 603 Netherby Rd. Welland, On. More info 905-734-7058

Sept. 7th – 8th – Old Bastards 12th Annual Interna onal Vintage Bike Rally Delta, Ont. – Swap Meet, Bike Show, Road Run, Camping and Cabins Biker Gamer, BBQ, Music, Prizes and More. $5 day pass More Info: www.oldbastards.ca or on Facebook, or 613928-2841

Sept. 7- Eagle Eye Childrens Wish Ride

17315 Yonge St., Newmarket & 1501 Hopkins St. Whitby Eagle Eye’s Two Loca ons will both be star ng points More Info Call Bob: Whitby 905-665-7400 or Newmarket 905-898-7400

Continued on page 14

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Fighting for Your Nine shots – SIX FOLLOWING FATALITY and a TASING? There I stood, slack jawed and staring in disbelief, as my deduc ve reasoning struggled to cope with a spectacle of barbarism that defies reason. This kid, who wasn’t detaining any hostages, was killed for menacing TPS (at a significant distance) with a knife. WTF!! It appears that some members of the Toronto Police Service are not sa sfied with merely bashing the public into submission – they now have decided that murder is far preferable to nego a on. And just when you thought that LE had sunk as low as snakeshit - Shazam! There’s one more incredible example emblazoned across the news reports illumina ng the god-like mindset of some of our guardians of the public good. The Ontario Ombudsman, finally choking on the many examples of a police state gone psycho, announced that his office (finally) decided to inves gate LE procedures with an eye to improving the way the police handle these tragic confronta ons. And for merely issuing a press release announcing that the Ontario Ombudsman was preparing to exercise his official mandate, he received a nasty (and Franco phobic) tweet accusing Mr. Marin of being a member of al-Qaeda. It has since been discovered that the Twi#er account was (allegedly) opened by Durham Regional Police Det. Constable Sco# Dennis. One could make the point that . . . because our youth served in Afghanistan and some were killed by al Qaeda – a comparison could be made u lizing the skewed reasoning established in the tweet; ergo - the officers who were at the scene might also be compared to members of al Qaeda, Eh Ollie? Damn! Not only does it appear that . . . thar’s a new Shurriff in town, who shoots first and asks ques ons later, but who also insists that public accountability is beneath the ac ons of the dogs of the establishment. I hear there’s a persistent rumour galloping throughout the Toronto fashion scene that the latest hot fall colour might be blue serge spa#ered with blood-red dye? Can anyone confirm or deny this rumour? Sammy Ya m 18. ONE MORE TIME - and say it slowly – Sammy Ya m 18 years of age - snuffed out by yet another callous and indifferent example of senseless gun violence. What is sickening and unpalatable is that this was perpetrated by some of the very people who are sworn to prevent this epidemic of gun violence. Who can blame kids for arming themselves when the hired guns of law enforcement display that they have no pa ence when dealing with youth, Eh Ollie? While the controversy rages, there is some light shining through the cracks in the fortress known as law enforcement methodology. Some of you may recall my repor ng some months back about a program whereby the Toronto Police Service agreed to issue receipts to youths who were being carded, a prac ce compelling street youths to furnish personal informa on via a personal sta cs card, which is then retained by LEO’s to flesh out their database. The program began on July 1st and was reported in the Toronto Star (GTA sec on) on Thursday July 4th. Why this is important to our lifestyle is that officers who ins gate the stop are required to furnish a receipt which details the officer’s name, badge number and reasons why the individuals were carded. It is not much of a stretch to visualize this prac ce being extended to include biker related roadside stops. The collec on of these receipts would provide the OCC

Rights

with Scary Larry

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with data that could, eventually, be u lized to prove (and hopefully end) proﬁling simply because of demeanor or at re. Perhaps in the future, this ac on could put a stop to the intrusive prac ce of detaining bikers under the guise of ‘document checking’. This month’s feature OCC member club is the Zombies M.C. ‘cuz I didn’t have me to source another club by deadline. The Zombies M.C. morphed out of the motorcycle club known as the Perfect Pigs M.C. and has been in existence since 2007. It was founded by moi’ - who caved under pressure inﬂicted by four former members of the now disband-

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 5

Fighting for Your

COME AND GET YOUR HARLEY-DAVIDSON FRI.13th T-SHIRT AT OUR LOCATION ON THE PIER IN PORT DOVER! R

FOOD DRIVE

SCAVENGER RUN TO BENEFIT PROJECT SHARE

Entry fee is non-perishable food items or cash donation.

Registration at

Clare’s Harley Davidson York Road, N.O.T.L. 10:00am – 12:00 noon

@ Bash Site - 330 Young Rd., Welland For more info please contact:

Terry: 289-990-1076 Dave: 905-401-1220 Bonnie: 289-696-5239

Rights

with Scary Larry

ed Big Smoke Riders. The club was populated quickly and those early members were rewarded with the wearing of an FMF patch (Founding Member Forever) patch which is worn proudly on their club vest. ZMC was founded upon the oldschool values of the biker life - our four primary cornerstones are Brotherhood, Loyalty, Individuality and Charity. I will not divulge our membership numbers but it is significant considering that all our members must earn their patch via a lengthy demonstra on of enthusiasm for the club. Our membership direc ve is – Quality not Quan ty! Our treasures are counted by the many friendships we have forged within the biker lifestyle and our support of their endeavors. ZMC supports LAMP, a local Etobicoke charity, via a Toy Run in support of their Early Years program that provides toys to needy children. LAMP is housed in an old Toronto Police sta onhouse, where I (and many of my youthful buds) had their asses kicked (but not shot off). It is righteous that the building is serving the community by providing peaceful assistance with commonplace problems, Eh Ollie? Our designa on slash is ‘White Line Zombies’ which relates to our passion of rolling two big wheels over many miles of asphalt and not (as the BEU believes) in the copious consump on of cocaine. The old PPMC mo o was ‘Freedom Forever - Forever Freedom’ which is as per nent today as it was back in 2007. But wait, there’s fuckin’ great news, Ollie!! The Red Devils M.C. (member club of the OCC) has finally succeeded in their defense of all charges stemming from LE raids on their Chatham clubhouse. The Devils have been locked in a legal dogfight which has been ongoing since 2010. The court ruled that the Crown and LE failed in convincing the court that the charges that were laid had merit. I, for one, am ashamed of our legal system that tolerates interference with law abiding ci zens enjoying the freedoms secured by the loss of Canadian lives on the various ba lefields of the world. Isn’t it me that these Gestapo type raids be banned as a dysfunc onal tool u lized in a fraudulent and fic ous war to thwart the scourge of the evil biker na on? Gimmee a big HELL YA! Par cularly since these raids (underscored in the media by the blea ng of the BEU PR spin-doctors) and the subsequent litany of charges - melt and dissolve when examined in the dazzling bright light of day. Congrats to the brothers of the RDMC for a fight well fought & won! Scary Larry OCC Treasurer President & Founder, ZMC

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6

Cargill Bike Bash

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARGILL? I’m enjoying my newly appointed repor ng assignments, and again I ﬁnd myself on the road, in the mid morning hours of July 20th. A er a freak storm that hammered Ontario the night before, nearly shu ng down the new Muskoka Rally in Gravenhurst that was running that same weekend, I was glad to see, that the neck of the woods I was heading to, came away virtually unscathed.

by Sherri O’Irish

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1305 HWY #5 West

R.R. #1, Dundas On L9H 5E1 Bruce areas. Armed with RV’s, trailers, converted buses, and tents like me, they came to party! While driving around the park, I met some great folks, Laurie from North Bay and her boyfriend Terry from Markham, who were gracious enough to let me pitch up with them and cha ed over a few cold

This me, I was on my way to the Cargill Bike Bash 6. Where in the world is Cargill you may ask, and so did I? Just oﬀ the beaten path, 15 minutes NW of Walkerton, lies the quaint li le hamlet of Cargill, popula on 150 give or take a few. What started as an innova ve way to raise money for their community centre, park, and playground, used by

SEPTEMBER 21, 2013 1 – 7PM, DRAW 6PM REGISTRATION AND RIDE STARTING AT THE COURTHOUSE - GRAND WEST - CHATHAM •

many neighboring communi es, has turned into a 1000 biker visited annual event. It was free to a end and fully licenced, all they asked for in return, was a dona on for camping. Beginning at 9 am on Saturday, the newly commemorated “Jerry” Lippert Memorial Poker Run, headed out in honor of a commi ee member that passed away suddenly, in the fall of 2012. The rumble of bikes coming in con nued throughout the morning, mainly from Kitchener/ Waterloo, and the surrounding Grey-

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Cargill Bike Bash ones. Then it was oﬀ to spread the good word, Mags in hand, and get down to “business”. Around 1 pm, the poker Run wound its way back to the park, and more entries were added to the Show & Shine, which included Hank from Boot Hill Hearse. The mid-afternoon saw a full gamut of rodeo games, go oﬀ without a hitch (these guys, have got the set up and tear down to an art) which kept the large crowd of onlookers amused for several hours, with prizes being donated from

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 8

by Sherri O’Irish

a huge list of local sponsors. Accolades to the kitchen and beer garden staﬀ, for slugging it out in the heat, to keep the people fed and quenched, they did a great job. There was plenty to do all during the day, Dyna Tuning by Stumpy’s Custom Cycle out of Waterloo, a burn out pit, sponsored by Tennyson’s Yamaha of Underwood, and musical entertainment provided by the local Breakwater Blues Band. A er the calcula ng was over, here is the list of the winners for the Show & Shine sponsored by Tiny’s Motorcycle and ATV Repair out of Port Elgin PEOPLE’S CHOICE SHOW AND SHINE 2013 CATEGORIES: Best Paint (overall) - Lee Carpenter Best Harley Custom - Bevin Findley Best Metric Cruiser Custom -

Cargill Bike Bash

Best Ladies Ride - Kimmie Roberts

Cody Hayes Best Radical Murray Sco Best Harley Stock - Big Bill Best Metric Cruiser Stock Marvin Wa s Best Vintage Cheryl Davenport

A!er all the excitement and camaraderie of the a!ernoon, people were able to wander the park and party. I met a good bunch of people, and had more than a few laughs, over more than a few drinks, with the bunch in our area. Later in the night at the Community Centre, the band Crazy Maker, another local band, took the stage, for the community dance. The fes vi es went on into the wee hours of the morning, and thanks to some gennies, the music kept playing too. For those of us who camped out, it was a chilly night and morning, as it got down to 11 degrees, which is highly unusual for July. Back at the Community Centre, a breakfast was being held for the community and bikers alike.

by Sherri O’Irish

Thanks to the community of Cargill, Frank’s Magic Crops, Inc. commi ee members, volunteers, and Owner Frank Pastor Jr. sponsors, for all of Horticulturalist Class III U of T their hard work, in Over 35 Yrs. Experience making this hidden gem a great biker Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems for Vegetables & Flowers weekend. Keep this event in mind for next year, if you want to Store Hours switch things up a bit, Mon. - Fri.: 11:00 - 6:00 and try something Saturday : 11:00 - 2:00 new, it’s a good me, Closed Sunday with good people, and good music. E-mail : fmci@cogeco.net Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9

ABATE—The Final Frontier- 2013

It was a beau ful morning as I gathered up my Roving Reporter gear loaded it all onto Petoonia and headed West for yet another edi on of The Final Fron er; ABATE’S premier event that they do with pride and passion each year at their magnificent piece of property at Priceville Ont. and it is marked as my event on all calendars. If one of the other writers wants to come along (If I haven’t given them all other assignments.) they are welcome to come along but I’m coming here! JR just automatically wrote my name beside the event at the start of the year when he was the man in charge because he knew that I’d fallen deeply in love with the event and those connected with it since day one at this property, when I showed up to find a field of mud and a whole lot of great people who know how to party and throw a party and if it wasn’t my assigned event he knew I’d tell him I wasn’t covering anything at all because I was coming here rain, shine, sleet, shit Hell or high water! I le home and the sun was shining brightly but it was a tad cool as headed across across Hwy. 9 in shirtsleeves (Short

sleeves) but when I stopped for gas, I dug my new leather shirt with the Rider’s Mag Logo beau fully embroidered on the back by Judith at Custom Embroidery in Newmarket out of Petoonia’s beer box and put it on. I ﬂat out refused to pack an actual jacket! This is summer damn it! I don’t need no s nking jacket! It was a good decision as it didn’t really warm up a whole lot, in fact it got chilly enough at mes to consider throwing on another layer and I started to think about what other ar cles of clothing that could be crammed in Petoonia’s various nooks and crannies that I could put on and s ll maintain that rugged old school biker image but s ll keep some degree of comfort. It was cool enough that if I had four layers of heavy leather on my nipples would s ll s ck out! Fuck! its August! Someone hit the weatherman with a ca le prod or show Mother Nature a fucking calendar! There were dense clouds overhead that seemed on the verge of turning en rely black and at mes they would block out the sun and it would get even cooler. More reminiscent of Fall rather than Summer.

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ABATE—The Final Frontier- 2013

I made my way across, s ll enjoying the ride despite the chill and pulled into the property to a warm welcome. I stopped at the gate to register and say my ini al hellos to the gate keepers and welcoming commi ee and found Sensa onal Sue Whalen (AKA “The Legal Beagle) at the gate wai ng for other friends to arrive and guide them to her campsite. Sue is going to be wri ng a legal advice column for The Mag in the not too distant future, as she is a licensed paralegal, quite experienced and knowledgeable in Biker related issues and she is a fucking ﬁghter and will be a welcome addi on to our ever expanding crew and I’m sure, of great value to our readership. I rode down the driveway into the main sec on past the pond and mud pit and parked Petoonia near the vendor area. It wasn’t even noon yet and the place was alive with people and bikes and the aroma coming from the food vendors barbeques was tantalizing and made my mouth water and stomach growl in an cipa on of what it would taste like if it smelled that good. I wandered through talking to the many various vendors and found Teresa and Mike from Hog Town Cycle with a huge selec on of motorcycles, t shirts and other merchandise set up and ready to do business. A new and very nice touch for

this event and they piqued the interest of many off the a endees who just happened to have the me to linger and talk awhile. You could see them walking along, slow down look and then come back slower the next me and then finally, the hook was set and they would wander in to talk and you would be hard pressed to meet two nicer people this side of paradise to talk to than Mike and Teresa if you buy a bike or not! Larry and his lovely bride Candice were there as well selling t shirts and patches and promo ng their event; “Chrome Madness” which they are running in Blythe Aug. 17th. I worked my way through the rest of the vendors trying to keep my hands away from my wallet and money clip but it was hard indeed to not take advantage of some of the deals that were offered. The dust from the trip finally forced me to seek out the beer garden, where I was able to secure a

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 11

ABATE—The Final Frontier- 2013

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PARDON ME Confidential. Reasonable. Please Call Denise @ (905) 866-4272 cold 50 (You have to love these people who look a er me so well.) and the World was right once again. At that I was able to con nue on my mission and venture into the large camping area that seems to go on forever with campers of every size shape and colour and descrip on with hundreds of tents of various tents of an inﬁnite variety of shapes sizes and colours all set up within a sea of motorcycles and people all seemingly contained by a perimeter of lush forest. It is a spectacle that warms my heart and s rs my soul. Combine that sight with the aroma of barbequed food that just hung in the air and embraced you like a warm hug from a pre y lady or a good friend and when combined with the sounds of laughter and people enjoying themselves and the roar of motorcycles, to an old biker it was mesmerizing and like the siren’s call. It was

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 12

akin to hi ng rewind on me, taking me back to where this was all commonplace to folks who lived this life. It was a great day to be doing what I do. The treatment and recep on I get when I do these events is nothing short of astounding! I was thrilled to see the amazing Angie back here a er a short absence, in which she concentrated on her me on career and family issues, but here she was looking as radiant as ever and her old bike was all dolled up and looked great as well! There are so many wonderful people that I’ve met here over the years and when they are absent I do no ce and you are missed. I don’t have to men on names as you all know that if you weren’t there it is you who I’m talking about and to. This isn’t just a “Biker thing” it is a “family thing” as you have genera ons here. Grandparents, parents and kids and their partners and other family members are all here and having a ball not because it is the “in” thing to do but because it is what we do! I see these same fathers and mothers and grandparents compe ng with and against each other with a spirit that you don’t ﬁnd in other lifestyles! It is absolutely amazing! I worked my way back towards the main area to get set up for the games with a quick stop at the beer garden to reﬁll my handy 50 holster that has become a part of my gear since my buddy Turbo gave it to me. So with my camera and beer slung on my hip and my Cri er si er in hand I posi oned myself to do my Roving Reporter du es in the games area ready for ac on. The games here are fantas c and they get great par cipa on. They have the ever popular old standards like the slow race, barrel race and wiener bite and several others that you see everywhere but here they like to change things up with some of

ABATE—The Final Frontier- 2013 the games from year to year and come up with some innova"ve new games or twists on old ones so as to keep things fresh and exci"ng. These folks are far from boring and don’t ever call them bland and I’m OK with the blindfolds and a few other things that they trot out each year but if they start wheeling out the velvet handcuffs and whips and other items……I’ll start to wonder. Then there is what has become a signature event that is extremely popular “The mud pit” and the bevy of beau"es that it seems to a ract to compete for the "tle of “Queen of the Pit!” Actually there are no losers in this contest as it’s all done in the name of fun as the girls usually agree to call it a draw and split the prize money. They are all winners! There is the pond for them to clean up a$er the ba le and a tanker truck with fresh water to finish the job and get them squeaky clean and fresh ready for a night of revelry. Well the games were over except for the tug of war which I missed as I was off wandering through the campgrounds again to visit with folks. And then the burn out which I also missed but once it started I was knew it was happening but was unable to find my way to it, due to the dense cloud of smoke that enveloped the whole surrounding area. I did get a picture of the cloud of smoke which is all of what you would see even if I was standing within two feet of the bike. If the Mag was available in Scratch and sniff you could smell the smell of a new "re on the way. I think I saw Mike from Hog town ge'ng one ready! I never really understood the concept of burning the living shit out of a "re that would get me down the road un"l it couldn’t safely go any further before spending hard earned dollars to replace it, so I didn’t mind missing it so much. It was now "me to say my goodbyes. I mounted up and se led into Petoonia’s plush seat and headed for home leaving this fantas"c bunch of people to party into the wee hours and to enjoy the great entertainment that was lined up to put them into an even greater party mood, if that is possible. You guys do a Hell of a

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COME SEE US AT OUR NEW LOCATION job and put on one Hell of a party. Someday I will stay for the whole party but it will involve a camper because I aint sleeping in a tent! Thanks for your kindness to an old man. Thanks for your hospitality! Thanks for a great day and a whole great experience over the years and thanks for the 50! L&R! See you all next year! Later………………Cri er

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 13

What’s

Shakin’

Sept. 7 – Kitchener Harley-Davidson’s 110 years Of Freedom Anniversary Party 12 – 5 PM- Licensed Beverage Tent, BBQ, Live Bands, Kids Play Area. Admission Free

Sept. 7th – Clare`s Fenwick Yamaha Test Ride 10:00am – 2:00pm Call 905-892-2664 for more details

Sept. 8th - 4th Annual Fall Car, Truck and Bike Show

4:00 PM – dusk, Denny’s Restaurant, 2208 Bank St. (Near Hunt Club)

Sept. 12 – Hamilton Biker’s Church – Bike Nights at Stonewalls 339 York Blvd. (Near Queen) – 7:00 PM - ? – 905-577- 0808 th

Sept. 13 - Port Dover – SEE YOU ALL THERE! Sept. 13th – Veterans Toy Drive – Run to Dover Open 8 a.m. For Breakfast

Start at home – meet at the Legion in Dover- bring a new toy More info – Randy 226-448-8676

“STOP IN ANYTIME Sept. 14th – Red Devils Hamilton Poker Run Arden Ave., Hamilton – registra on 9:30 – 11:00 BIKER FRIENDLY” 30 More info: www.REDDEVILSMC.ca

“Voted #1 Stop Before Friday 13th Fun!” 2965 Homestead Drive Mount Hope ON L0R 1W0 (Located Along HWY #6)

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Sept. 15 – 14th Annual Ride of Splendor- Carleton Place Memorial Hospital Auxiliary Star ng at Carleton Place Curling Club- 120 Pa erson Cres. Oﬀ McNeely Ave. Registra on 8:30am – 10:00am, Ride Starts at 9:30am More info: www.carletonplacehospital.ca/auxiliary or 613-257-2200 ext 323

Sept.15th – Dragps Memorial Motorcycle Ride

At Khaki Club, 2939 Nafzinger Rd. Wellesley Registra on 9:30am – 10:30am Group Picture before 11, and Have a full tank of gas before arrival!, Run is Approx 125 Km and back by 1pm Meal and Drinks A"erwards, All Makes of Motorcycle Welcomed!

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www.martinscustommotorcycles.com martinscustommotorcycles@live.com THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 14

Sept. 21st – Biketoberfest 2013 – The 11th Annual Event for The Fabulous Fenwick Lions The Largest Motorcycle Event In Niagara. Bike Draw and Cash Prizes www.biketoberfest.ca or www.fabulousfenwicklions.org or call 905-8926004

Sept. 21st - Bro Niagara – Food Drive – Scavenger Hunt

Registra on at Clare’s HD – York Rd. Niagara on the Lake 10 AM – Noon Entry fee non perishable food item or cash dona on – more info terry 289990-1076

Sept. 21st – H.O.G Niagara – Dice Run To Biketoberfest

Registra on 10:00am – 12:00 Noon At The Boat House in Chippawa 3807 Mecklem St.- $5.00 per person to Roll The Bones

Sept 21st - Chatham Kent Bikefest- Ride for Big BrothersBig Sisters of Chatham-Kent

Registra on 10:30am – 11:30am at The Courthouse, Grand West, Ride to Dukes H-D 1:pm – 7:00pm Live Band, Vendors, Beer Tent, BBQ More Info Call Toni at 519-351-1582 or www.big brothersbigsistersofchathamkent.com

Sept. 22nd – Santas Toy Run - Ride from Toronto

– 1100 Hrs. to CFB Borden Bring unwrapped new toy or 430.00 cash dona on proceeds to Military Families More info Randy 226-448-8876

Sept. 28th – B&E Motorcycle Fall Swap Meet

10:00am – 4:00pm At The Chatham Farmers Market $5.00 Admission, For Info Call Burky 519-351-3094 or Dkendalsales”gmail.com-"wcycles83”gmail.com

Sept. 28th - Big Daddy’s Cow Paddy Toy Run All together ride – details to be announced For info – www.BIGDADDYSCOWPADDY.ca or call Greg or Susie 613-926-0799

Continued on page 27

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 15

Third Annual RIDE MANITOULIN by Manon Kellman I had heard about this ride from friends and was hoping to make it there one day; so when I was asked if I would like to cover it, I jumped on the opportunity and what a trip, event, party we had! Here is my road trip to the motorcycle rally “Ride Manitoulin” in Providence Bay, Manitoulin Island which promotes riding on the Island with proceeds from the event going towards local chari es. I le the house Thursday morning, July 18th at 9:30 a.m. The weather was just right and my plan was to take my me to get to Tobermory where I was staying for the night. I rode the speed limit which was a good thing given that Highway 6 from Guelph to Owen Sound was the favorite spot for the OPP on that day. At one point, I had one tailga ng me for at least 10 good minutes; I was thinking: “OK, he or she will stop me, either for my mini ape handlebars or for my pipes.” That was not to be…but the pickup truck in front of me did not no ce that I had been followed and started speeding up, and ge ng further and further away from me. By the me the OPP passed me, that pickup was perhaps doing 110 km in an 80 km zone. Too bad for him, but an excellent thing for me.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 16

I stopped occasionally along the way I to smoke a cigare e and check my emails (since I was s ll on work duty……Mul tasking). Once in Owen Sound, I decided to take the scenic route (Grey 1) to Wiarton and got to my hotel (Blue Bay motel) in Tobermory at 4:00 p.m.! Yes, six hours and a half to get there... generally three and a half, but as they say, ge ng there is half the fun. If you ever decide to take a road trip to Tobermory, check out that hotel and ask for room #7. This is the Harley Davidson room with everything Harley…from the lamps to the bathroom accessories. Oh, did I forget to men on that my husband was mee ng me there a er work? He did get there at 10:30 p.m. and man was I ever happy to see him! I was truly thirsty for a drink…missed the LCBO opening hours…they close at 6:00 p.m., yep even on a Thursday!!! Friday morning we got on the ferry at 11:15 just as the rain was star ng. What a ride we had, one minute you could see land or water and the next you couldn’t! But, at least we did not get caught by the powerful storms that hit parts of Ontario that day. By the me we got to South Baymouth in

Third Annual RIDE MANITOULIN by Manon Kellman Manitoulin, the rain had stopped and the sun was out. We rode to Providence Bay with a couple that we had met some years back at a Poker Run I was covering for the Rider’s Mag on the ferry. In Providence Bay, we stayed at The Dunes Bed and Breakfast managed by Leanne MgGill and Ross Downham with their 3 dogs and 2 cats. The house is all built from wood (walls, floors, ceilings), they are surrounded by the forest with deer feeding at night and overlooking Providence Bay...just an ideal loca on for nature, beach and boardwalk lovers. Leanne and Ross, thanks so much for the hospitality we received during our stay and sorry for losing one of your dogs for a li le more than 5 hours! Yes, we thought one of the dogs needed to go out for a li le pee, but no, he took off looking for his owners. We did try calling him back, but both my husband and I had forgo en his name...as a result calling out DOG, DOG did not work out very well for us! A er unpacking the bikes, we took off for the fairgrounds where the event was being held (10 minutes by foot). There

we registered, toured the grounds and looked over the weekends schedule. The events for Friday were: vendors alley, beer garden, various rides and live entertainment at night, first by “JOPO”, followed by “Glory Days” a Bruce Springsteen Experience - two great bands. On site I met Rob from Spring Bay in Manitoulin. Ron, you are incredible! He lost one of his leg at the age of 16 in a motorcycle accident (he was the passenger) and has been riding his own for the past 30 years, all this with one real leg and one prosthe c! This being said, he makes his own prosthe c legs and they are just crazy looking hooves (one looking exactly like a deer leg and the other one a skull). Saturday, the weather was perfect for what we had planned. The day started off with breakfast at Becky’s Biker Breakfast (scrambled eggs, ham, pancakes, etc.) and then off we went to the fairgrounds for the “Ladies Ride and Art Tour”. As it turned out, only four ladies signed up (including myself) since they were mainly

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17

Third Annual RIDE MANITOULIN by Manon Kellman passengers or doing the Poker Run, and a decision was made, and the organizers decided to rename it “The couples ride” and this made an enormous difference and the number of riders soon swelled. Besides, the stops we were doing on this ride were the same as many of the stops for the Poker Run (which raised over $1000.00 with a li le more than 100 par cipants) so we decided to do both at the same me. The ride le at 9:30 a.m. Our road captain for the day, Lydia, had planned this ride flawlessly. Our first stop was at Lillian’s Cra in M’Chigeeng which offered items by First Na on ar sts; the second stop was at Edward’s Studio & Fine Art Gallery in Kagawong where we also ventured to the Manitoulin Chocolate Works for some amazing homemade treats; our third stop was at the Gore Bay Harbor Center; the fourth stop at the Whitechurch Gallery in Spring Bay which also happens to be owned and operated by our B & B owners. Here you can buy nearly anything ranging from soaps, candles, pain ngs, quilts, etc. - all artworks and gi s from Manitoulin. This was also to be our lunch stop, which turned out to be a picnic. I must men on an impromptu stop at “My Ol’ Blues” in Gore Bay, owned and operated by Kathy Antonio. This was a

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 18

li le paradise of a store, where all the clothing for toddlers, kids and adults are handmade on site (refreshed, recycled, repurposed and renewed). Her clothing has been worn by the crew of the Bluenose II, sold at retail stores across the country and presented to the Royal Family of Jordan! In this li le store and shop, she creates, with her small team and the 2 lucky students who won a contest giving them the chance to create their own clothes and promote them, amazing clothing ar cles. A er theses stops, we s ll needed another stamp for our poker card and Lydia generously oﬀered to lead us half an hour down the road to Mindemoya. Lydia you are a great road captain! Throughout all these stops, we had GEORGE!!! George rode for the rally from London, Ontario regardless of the rain, the hail, the cold and all this wearing a T-Shirt and jeans (never thinking that for once the weather man would be right and that it would get a lot cooler i.e. 30o C + down to 19o C). I have to say or write down to his wife, who stayed behind at home, you are one lucky lady! He bought something at every stop, mainly for her: Indian moccasins, pajama pants, a pain ng and chocolates. We got back to the fairgrounds in Providence Bay at 4:00 p.m., happy, red, hungry and thirsty. We were pleasantly surprised by the crowd - the poker run riders were back, we were back and the tent popula on had doubled from when we were here last (yes, you get camping for the weekend all this for a low cost of $15.00 which includes all the events), the bike games were on and the party was at its peak! We se led for some homemade pasta , garlic bread and drinks. I was somewhat disappointed because there was no red wine at the beer tent: “I might whine, but I do like my wine.” A er diner, my husband decided he deserved an hour long outdoor massage (a er all, he had ridden in the Ladies Ride, which had some twis es, gravel roads and pot holes - what can be more demanding than that? Now he knows what we women have to go through on our rides!). While he was being pampered, I ventured out to the bike games. They had games to suit every taste, level of exper se, couples, on bikes and by foot. I really enjoyed them. At the same me, in another sec on of the fairgrounds, a workshop by Vicki Gray was being held. Vicky is the founder of MOTORESS. com the only online magazine for women motorcycle enthusiasts,

Third Annual RIDE MANITOULIN by Manon Kellman a licensing instructor, racer, race instructor and journalist. Regre ably, I did not get a chance to a end her workshop, but I am sure that everyone that did, enjoyed it. A er the games, I retrieved my husband…at the outdoor massage parlor…and oﬀ we went to the B & B for a li le nap before the night’s entertainment which consisted of “JOPO Blackwater” playing tunes ranging from Janis Joplin to The Rolling Stones and “That 60’s Show” it was a nostalgic trip back to the 1960’s. Sunday morning was another sunny day, which consisted of breakfast at the fairgrounds and a Show N Shine. They had 10 prizes (10 categories) consis"ng of $50.00 and a trophy for everyone. I guess this will be my 1st and only trophy in the chopper category!

I would like to thank on behalf of myself, my husband and the Rider’s Mag: Larry Morrison, Kurt Len"r and the Rally commi ee for our accommoda"ons at the B & B and for the great rally we had. All the new friends and old friends we met, you made this a memorable event... MERCI. To everyone who might be thinking of doing this rally next year, don’t hesitate and put it down on your calendar. The trip down is great either by road or ferry, the Island is beau"ful and has so much for you to see and do, and the rally was just as I expected... FANTASTIC! I, for sure, will mark it down and hopefully my schedule will allow me to go back next year. Now oﬀ to Digby, Nova Sco"a for the Wharf Rat Rally! Manon

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 19

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 20

On The So I’m back, out for a couple of rides between rounds of golf and trips to the lake. I can’t believe that the summer is quickly drawing to a close here, wow. I caught the Annual Eagles Nest Miles for Smiles ride a week ago and will submit a report for next issue of the mag. We are heading out on the road to do feature shoots east of Toronto, and environs as well and a few shoots in the city and just to the North of it. I will be contac ng all of you long suffering individuals in the next week or two to try to find out how to make our schedules work with your schedules. I’m going for evening shoots and that is gonna start ge n iffy as the days are quickly becoming shorter so day me shoots may be the order with weekdays preferred. So we are in fairly good shape for bikes on the list with bikes in most categories but I am s ll in search of a few men’s bikes for the spring run in April, specifically I need sportsters, lots of them. It’s unfortunate when I put the call out we get a lot but then by the me we get to shoo ng the last of them the owner has usually sold his ride and moved up or moved away not leaving a forwarding address or number. I am also on the hunt for special construc on bikes, anything in a custom frame with an American v-twin (must be 45’ we are a er, all a Harley enthusiast mag) and of course more vintage bikes, sorry shovel guys, they have their own class and our vintage includes pans, knuckles, flatheads, and old Indians of course and yes we will accept the four cylinder models if there’s one out there. So if you wanna get your bike on the list in any category but specifically in any of the above and you are in the southwestern Ontario area we are gonna do our annual trip out that way in April and we are looking for bikes. We also make a trip out to the tri city area and Guelph once or twice a year so if you’re out that way send your stuff in and as we are local to Niagara we usually try to get a shoot or two in on weekdays in the fall and spring. Send a pic of your bike along with all the relevant contact info which should include your geographic loca on, your email, your cell and or home numbers, work number if you have that kind of job and we will be in touch with you to confirm receipt of your applica on and addi on to the lists then we will contact you to try to set up your shoot on one of our regional trips or you can ride down to us which is handy some mes. My email is as always theridersmag@ gmail.com and for those of you who are computer illiterate or challenged mail it to Cri!er and he will forward it along to me. Just to let you know I am truly enjoying my first months of re rement and love ge ng out there for a ride when I can work it into my schedule but the family me has been awesome although as most of you know it can be trying as well but that’s just the way it is, see you out there, on the road.

Road

by J.R.

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 21

Cruising With Critter Well we are fast running out of Summer as is clearly stated by the fact that this is The Sept./Oct. issue and proof posi ve that me really does fly when you’re having fun or at least on an adventure and indeed…….the adventure con nues. I do have a date for my knee replacement now and come Feb. 20 I will see if they can fix what the years of use and abuse have done. If you are reading this you will have no doubt already no ced that have been some changes in the look and feel of The Riders Mag and I hope that they meet with your approval. We are trying to make changes that have a posi ve effect on The Mag to be er serve our adver sers and our readers and we are not done yet, as other things will be phased in as we can afford to bring them into effect. It is an ongoing and co-opera ve effort with the support and assistance of our remarkable printer Canweb Prin ng and their fantas c crew in beau ful Grimsby who prove that change is not only possible but can be a reality. However things s ll creep up on me and try to bite me in the ass as I’m not now and probably never will be the organized, efficient and in control at all mes guy that former publisher, JR was and is now but now he’s enjoying a life of leisure in his re rement while I (Who’s a lot older and not used to being the guy in charge.) carry on with the full weight of The Mag on my shoulders. Such is the case with Port Dover for Friday 13th and the t shirts that have become so important to so many.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 22

I knew it was coming and that I had to deal with it, I even tried to get moving on it several mes but there was always other stuff to do and I’d get to it tomorrow. Well tomorrow never get here, but today and now, sure as Hell do and they came tapping me on the shoulder holding up the calendar with Friday 13th circled in red saying you’d be er deal with us now! So I had to get moving! I had a couple of our usual sponsors decline this me around due to the hard economic mes and I’ve had to source out new ones who are few and far between thanks largely to the policies, blunders and absolutely horrific decisions made by the band of fools that we call The Liberal Party of Ontario who seem keener on trying to get out from under various scandals that they do seem to have a talent for crea ng. It is too bad they can’t put as much me and effort into crea ng a be er economic climate that will help the ci zens of this Province climb out of the doldrums that we find ourselves in. But that isn’t the ways of this group of egocentric, self-serving jerks. So we just have to deal with what we got. However, the extremely loyal to the cause, David Smye from Mackesy, Smye LLP stepped up once again and my buddy Hank from Boothill Hearse jumped in as well and said Hell Yeah! Then Gord from Black Gold who is a big part of the Cri!er Crew Cards as well as a great friend agreed to go along with me on it as well so it will happen……….but on a somewhat lesser scale. We won’t be running as many shirts as we want to give them more to the people who read the Mag and support the Mag and for whom the shirts have meaning and value rather than just some tourist who happened to in the vicinity and scored a shirt that will be tossed into the closet rather than worn with pride. It appears right now that we will not be able to do the “I bared my Boobs” shirts this me around but are working on a dated Friday the 13th shirt that will be fla ering to a lady along with a regular version of the shirts but the same rules apply………..give us an old edi on of the Mag, be wearing an old Riders Mag Support shirt and ladies………..you know the drill. Again supplies are limited. That’s just the way it is! By the me you read this Mag my Annual Cri!er Country/Black Gold Show and Shine will have already been done and many of you will have discovered from a ending the event or finding out from this publica on that I have started a new venture (Because I have so much extra me on my hands!) and taken some retail space with Black Gold at 1228 Gorham St., Unit #2 in Newmarket where I will be selling a large selec on Genuine Harley-Davidson Collectables along with some of my other fanciful stuff and Riders Mag support items. I will also be buying Harley-Davidson collectable items and motorcycle collectables and memorabilia in general. We are currently coming up with some new designs for THE Riders Mag support gear and hope to have it all in stock soon. The website is also being worked on and changes and improvements should be done by mid-September and you will be able to again see all the pictures from not only my travels but the other contributors as well. As I men oned last issue, I have many events that I’ve been going to for 30 plus years now that are near and dear to my heart and I s ll try my damndest to s ll make it out top them but my new du es with The Mag do get in the way at mes and I simply have to go where The Mag needs me to be. I s ll try to at least drop in for a while to say hi if I can route it in on my way to or on the way back from somewhere.

Cruising With Critter I stopped by the Outlaws MC Na onal party on my way back from the ABATE Final Fron er party as I usually do as they have tradi!onally fallen on the same weekend for quite some !me. I had my rising star Roving Reporter Sherri O’Irish covering the event and wasn’t checking up on her but I just like to stop in to say hi to some old friends and have a 50 and shoot the shit awhile and it was on my way home. It was great to see everybody! I was able to make it over to The Brotherhood MC Annual party to carry on that tradi!on and party with that really fantas!c bunch of folks who I’ve known and loved for a lot of years. They have a fantas!c party and some great Biker Games that are gri y and dirty and damn fun to watch as these guys and gals have been at this for a lot of years now and pre y much got it down pat. There have been some rivalries developed over those years and it is always interes!ng to see who will win certain events this year and now there are rivalries between family members as kids who have

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grown up are now challenging parents for !tles as is the case with Haircut and his son Shortcut. It is all good natured compe!!on but it is compe!!on and there are no free passes for a win here. You have to earn it. There is no gender bias here Wives, girlfriends, husbands, Sons and Daughters all compete against each other and they give no quarter if you want it, you have to win it and nobody here just gives up a victory without a ﬁght no ma er who or what you are when you’re at home! These are all well run games and Casanova was at his best doing the announcing and colour commentary throughout the day. They have all the usual games and the drag races are intense and thrilling to watch and then my personal favourite is s!ll “Pick-up S!cks”. The tug of war seems to be one event that really has garnered some ﬁerce rivalry especially among the Women and teams of ladies who prepare themselves all day to compete for bragging rights and the trophies that go along with it and age doesn’t mean shit to this bunch with a team of older (Older not old Tracy!) ladies vanquishing a much younger team much to the thrill of all in a hard fought ba le.

It isn’t just about the games but the opportunity to sit and talk to people who I’ve regarded as friends and this event is when I get to see all of them all together and enjoy some laughs over a beer or two and just relax. It is a well-a ended event that garners support from many other clubs from all over the Province as well who come here not just as spectators but to compete and hopefully take home a trophy. The day goes by far too quickly and I have to say my goodbyes and head for home leaving this ﬁne bunch of men and women to party into the night with some great music performed by an awesome band “Double me”, food and companionship. Thanks again for a great day

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 23

Cruising With Critter and some great hospitality! There is another Party that I look forward to each year which I was unfortunately unable to a end this year due to other commitments (I’ve found that being Boss means that I have to listen to my own excuses for wan ng to go one direc on as opposed to another and having to tell myself fuck you you’re going here!) and there was no way

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 24

I could attend The Renegades MC’s annual party. This is another fine crew that I have the utmost respect for and really regre ed not being able to make it but I can’t be everywhere. I sent my regrets with friends who took pictures for me and gave me a summary of the party and the games and I know I missed a great me. When I get the website going the way I want it to be I’ll post the pictures on there when I get them. I’ve been busy to say the least, and I’m s ll trying to get out to the many Ride Nights that are somewhat close to my area but s ll haven’t got to many like the one at The Amazing Albion Hotel that I keep hearing so many great things about. Our man out that way Kaz should be sending a report on that soon as he regularly a ends. It’s like a three hour drive from Newmarket so I’d have to have something else out that way to do as well to be able to jus fy that me to my Boss (Me.) and he isn’t cu#ng me much slack from the work schedule to be able to pull it off. But I’m working on it! Jim at Checkered Flag in Mount Hope also has a Ride Night on Mondays that I’ve been trying to cruise out to but haven’t made it out yet. Jim also offers a 13% Cri!er Crew Card discount on top of the specials. I have been ge#ng out fairly regularly to The Thursday Bike Nights at the Lore!o Inn though to partake of their hospitality and great food on their big pa o and visit with friends and also get to see the fantas c Stephanie and Brenda which is a treat in itself! It has become a great gathering place for local bikers and is now a rac ng riders from further afield as well as word spreads about the place and the fantas c ride to get there. I’ve run into a lot of friends who I haven’t seen for a while here and each me I pull up in front lately brings a surprise encounter. This is what these things are all about and its working but they aren’t res ng on their laurels here and are always looking at ways to make it be er. Well that’s a wrap for this issue. See you out there!

Joke

Page

Q: In golf, where did the term ‘Caddie’ come from? A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game ‘golf.’ He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this alot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the prac ce with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day’ and the Scots changed it into ‘caddie.’ Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs? A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called ‘pygg’. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as ‘pygg banks.’ When an English po er misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on. Did I read that sign correctly? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? No ce in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spo ed in a safari park:(I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR No ce in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN’T WORK) A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a li le girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back le!ng go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen

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416-665-3100 or lenny301@me.com THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 25

Joke a man do in my whole life.’ The Harley rider replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this li le kid in danger and acted as I felt right.’ The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unno ced. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what poli cal aﬃlia on do you have?’ The biker replies, ?I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican? The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his ac ons, and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!...and THAT pre y much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot si ng on a li le perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?’ The parrot says, ‘I was born this way. I’m a defec ve parrot.’ ‘Holy crap,’ the guy replies. ‘You actually understood and answered me. !’ ‘I got every word,’ says the parrot. ‘I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird’ ‘Oh yeah?’ the guy asks. ‘Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?’ ‘Well,’ the parrot says, ‘this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a li le hook. You can’t see it, because of my feathers.’ ‘Wow,’ says the guy. ‘You really can understand, and can speak English, can’t you.?’ ‘Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, poli cs, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I’m especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I’d be a great com-

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 26

Page panion.’ The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. ‘Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.’ ‘Pssssssst,’ says the parrot, ‘I’m defec ve, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!’ The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensa onal. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interes ng, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insigh ul. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, ‘Psssssssssssst,’ and mo ons him over with one wing. ‘I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife, and the UPS man.’ ‘What are you talking about,?’ asks the guy. ‘When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nigh e.’ ‘WHAT???’ the guy asks incredulously. ‘THEN what happened?’ ‘Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and li"ed up her nigh e, and began pe ng her all over,’ reported the parrot. ‘NO!’ he exclaims, ‘and she let him.?’ ‘Yes. Then he con nued taking off the nigh e, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.’ Then the fran c guy demands, ‘THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?’ DUNNO?!? I got a hardon, and fell off my perch.!’ A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City . The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no a empt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? - Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?” The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me tell you sumsing, lady I vasn’t staring at you like youContinued Page 46

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P R O M U S . C A THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 27

All Year Rider

This month’s feature guy is Todd and this beau ful 1943 Harley-Davidson WLC came to him as a basket case about 20 years ago and he spent 15 years ge ng it looking like this and on the road, changing direc ons in its look at least once midway through the whole project. The thing I found most fascina ng about it is that Todd had never owned or ridden a bike before this and nowadays he rides this beauty daily all year around. Todd’s dad was a mechanic and he says he grew up in a garage and had always been handy with his hands, so much so that before he purchased the sports bar that he runs these days his job was the ﬁxer. He described saying that he travelled to various plants in the area ﬁxing things that were broken and he said it was an interes ng job with a lot of strange experiences when the bar that his wife worked at went bankrupt he says he bought the bar for her so she could keep her job, and he came on as the full me manager/ owner of the bar. His applica on came to us through his friend and neighbour Ralph whose shovel had been featured a year or two ago. When I emailed him back he

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 28

said that a spring shoot was great but that he wanted a few weeks’ no ce on when the shoot would be so he could clean the bike up as he rode it all year around and wanted to make sure it was clean for the pics. So back when Todd was a ﬁxer he picked this bike up from some brothers who had a number of old 45’s and he says

All Year Rider 15 years and 4 days had passed since he originally bought the bike from the brothers, saying that once the work was started it would progress un l he came up with some spare cash to take over to the shop and get a list of things to search for to get to the next leg of the project. Needless to say Todd is thrilled with his investment and the 15 years it took to get the bike onto the road and he has been riding this all flathead to his sports bar every day since it was finished summer and winter, and through all that weather he says he has only had one small accident while riding to work one morning in March when a woman came to stop in front of him on a slippery morning and he hit the back of her car doing minor damage to the front end, headlight and a mirror. He got the bike fixed up in me for the shoot and says he even had to borrow one piece from a friend in town for the shoot. Todd’s wife s ll works at the bar that they own together working 3 days one week 4 days the next spending the balance of her me with the grandkids and Todd spends

it was all green fenders, frame and wheels a sure sign that the bike was a former military bike. Although he had never ridden a bike or even wrenched on one he undertook what I consider to be a monumental task in pu ng together a bike that was all in pieces not even knowing if all the pieces of the bike were in the milk crates he was given. Todd got one excellent bit of advice from the sellers as they told him to get in touch with Bob in Niagara a true expert in the machining and assembling of anything vintage Harley. He was also in possession of a wide array of new old stock pieces that he had collected through various dealership bankruptcies over a life me of pursuing his passion. Once Todd had his minty motor back he went about collec ng up the various pieces that he felt were going to give his ride the look that he was going for saying that he had a big old set of apes for the bike a so ail seat and a pearl white paint job. When he was ge ng close to the finish line with his build he needed some true expert assistance on the final wiring for his machine and he says he knew about a guy in Windsor who had a reputa on as an expert on older Harleys whom he had met once through his ex-wife’s father, but back then he did not own a bike although his ex father in law did. So he dialled up Mike, he said when he took the bike to him and told him what he wanted done to it he looked the bike over and said o.k. I will do this stuff for you. A few weeks later he got a call and Mike said I can’t do this to that bike, its go a be right or I won’t do it. It was a monumental project to take this machine from where it was at to what you see before you and he defiantly had the right guy (Mike) to do the work but like all beau ful vintage restora ons it takes a lot of money and a lot of me. Todd says that when the bike was finally done and he was riding it

six days a week working at the bar and enjoying his job and riding his 45. He says besides riding it to work every day he has taken it on a few 100 miles rides and has had it up to 60 miles per hour on the highway with both him and his wife on the bike but on a local ride along riverside drive he hit a pothole and the rack on the back fender broke and she hurt her bu and said that’s it I am never riding on this bike no more. So last year he picked himself up a super clean low mileage fully readable 1982 shovel with 20,000 original miles on it, he says he bought that bike so that he can take his wife for a ride since she won’t get onto his 45 anymore, and he did have the op on of riding his shovel while repairing the damage from his minor accident but he says he is s ll passionate about riding his 45 and that it is his daily ride. As for other newer bikes he says that his shovel is as new as he would ever want and that if he actually owned a garage he would ﬁll it up with old Harleys but he says for now his plans are to someday build a garage or at least a small shed to store the two bikes he has and rides daily saying once he gets the garage up and he has the space he will be looking for an old panhead and knucklehead to restore as well not necessarily in that order.

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 29

Greed Is The Enemy by Donny

Petersen

Sooner or later, outside forces will knock a motorcycle club down to the mat. How a club deals with adversity determines the quality of that club. A strong, well organized one will rise from the mat. Many !mes, the club will become more powerful than before. Why? Their internal structure with membership values of brotherhood placing the club’s interests above their own will bring the spirit to li" themselves up to rebuild. Internal value systems determine the strength or weakness of a club much the same as with the individual. If there is weakness on the inside a different scenario will certainly ensue unless the cancer is cut out. Weakness may derive from le$ng wrong people join. A member or members may come to feel they are more deserving than their fellow members. Jealousy may sow it’s divisive seeds. Greed is what drives many of these faults. Greed causes one to bend or break long established rules. It causes one to put himself above the Owner: Todd P Builder: HD rest. It destroys the concept of brotherhood. Further, it gives City: Windsor, ON Type: Rigid WLC those on the outside the lever they need to hurt the room. Rake: H-D Like a rear drive chain, a club is only as strong as it’s weakest General link. Year & Make: 1943 WLC Accessories Bikerdom has changed much over the years. The short Model: 45 Flathead Handlebars: H-D answer for this is money. Money and greed fucks everything Assembly by: Kustom Bike Risers: H-D up and erodes the old values. The old days were the best Chrome: Custom Chrome Controls: H-D days. We flew under the radar. Yeah, we got nickel-and-dime Seat: Stock Solo and Buddy hassled, some!me brutally but not on the level of today where Tailight: Tombstone Engine massive organized resources launch repeatedly against us. No Oil Tank: Right side gas tank Year: 1943 longer do the huge ex-footballer cops a&empt to regulate us style Model: Flathead 45 with the blunt instruments of in!mida!on, fists, and phony Gas Tank: 2-1/2 gal le side only charges. The new controllers have college degrees and use Builder: H-D Front Pegs: Boards Rebuilder: B & D their brains applying complex laws to insidiously manage the Rear Pegs: none Restora on biker threat (whatever that is). Foot Controls: Le side clutch, Displacement: 45c.i. The new truth is that a bike club or a biker for that ma&er right side rear brake cannot survive today without money. When I started riding Lower end: H-D Electrics: 12 Volt conversion Pistons: .40 over in the late six!es; most of us had no money nor did we care Grips: H-D Rods: H-D about it. As long as we had rent for our flophouse rooms, a Headlight: 12 volt Flywheels: H-D case of beer, our bikes, and three-dollar club dues, we were w/chrome bezel Balancing: H-D happy as can be. Speedometer: H-D Cylinders: 2 - 2 3/4” Communica on Turn Signals: H-D Cases: H-D Communica!on has altered the world of the biker. No Mirrors: H-D Heads: H-D ma&er the !me of the day, a click of the mouse lets me know Primary Cover: H-D Valves: H-D what is going on in the 1% world anywhere and everywhere Cam: H-D on the planet. The Internet has turned the slow, orderly, and Li ers: H-D Front End careful growth of bike clubs into rapid expansionary efforts. Igni on: Ba ery Type: H-D Springer The teachings and some!mes the bastardiza!on of biker core Coils/Wires: H-D Year: 1943 values can occur at light speed. Motorcycle clubs of every Carb: Linkert M88 Builder: H-D flavor proliferate. Expansion can take on a life of its own, Air Cleaner: H-D Special Features: Springs becoming the sole reason for existence. Pipes: Chrome Chromed There is not the necessary !me to absorb and internalize w/shark fin p Wheels the values required for enduring success. Some clubs, parts Front of clubs, or groups of members fall vic!m to the devasta!ng Transmission Size: 16” sins of bikerdom, which are misused power driven by greed. Type: Black Laced Stainless Year: 1943 These aberra!ons reflect li&le on the basic original values. Spokes Make: WLC The Pretenders Tire: Wide White Wall Type: 3 Speed There are thousands of motorcycle clubs emula!ng Brake: H-D Drums Shi ing: Hand Gate homogenized versions of the outlaw lifestyle. H.O.G. became Fender: H-D Clutch: Foot an instant success and becomes the largest bike club in the Primary Drive: H-D Rear world. However, One Percent (1%) outlaw bikers reacted Size: 16” in disgust at the the" of their lifestyle by Harley-Davidson. I Type: Black Laced Stainless Pain ng am not cri!cizing H.O.G. members or any other biker since I Spokes Paint: Black welcome all those on two wheels into the fold. Tire: Wide White Walls Type: Period However, as far as the original clubbers are concerned, Brakes: H-D Drums Painter: Jake Harley-Davidson has turned their back on the core group Fender: H-D that supported the Motor Company through thick and thin. Frame They feel that H-D steals their colors, insignia, and way of life. Model: Jessie Year: 1943 Worse, the clubbers think Harley-Davidson pasteurizes their

All Year Rider

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 30

Greed Is The lifestyle to allow a safe walk on the wild side for the mainstream Harley enthusiasts. Nevertheless, Harley-Davidson must move forward with the majority conformist popula on to survive. Small core groups of loyalists cannot adequately support H-D survival; for Harley-Davidson also craves and seeks expansion. Furthermore, the image problem of outlaw clubs is troubling for mass marke ng mainstream appeal. Yet, the outlaw clubs of the day personified freedom, old-west ruggedness, and individualism. H.O.G. seeks this image to market and quite effec vely so. Despite the differing points-of-view, H.O.G. is the most brilliant marke ng tac c by Harley-Davidson in a sea of dazzling strategies that obscures the one chink in H-D’s armour. There are a myriad of other types of bike clubs that would twist Freud’s analy c brain. I welcome them all to the mix. I respect their right to be free and nonconformist, to explore their individuality and freedom. With this said, I ask the rhetorical ques ons of why law enforcement groups form their own outlaw type clubs basing on the gangs they love to hate? Do the Jesus clubs relate to the outlaw lifestyle because their salva on also based in rebellion against the establishment Roman Empire? Females entering the fold on Sportsters was one thing but what would Freud think about them gradua ng to the Big Twins, growing balls, and forming their own clubs with no men allowed in this previous male only haven? Perhaps, he would not view this in a tes cular way but as simple vibratory gra fica on. I prefer a simpler answer that the reason-to-be is there is no other feeling quite like riding in the wind.

Enemy

by Donny Petersen The Way it Was

I remember one me my engine blew. I was riding about 1300 miles to Canada’s east coast with a riding partner appropriately nicknamed Harley from Toronto on our chopped Shovelheads. Two hundred miles into the trip, the return-oil-pump key sheared in my oil pump. I diagnosed this at 60 mph fairly quickly because the engine was filling with too much oil causing oil blowby past the rings into the combus on chamber. Resultant billowing blue smoke out my drag pipes and oil forcing out of the bo om engine casing vent spla ering all over the rear of my chopper were the symptoms of too much oil in the bo om end of my engine. Sluggish performance is also a result of too much oil-drag on the churning flywheels. As I gingerly slowed to a stop on my oil-soaked rear re, the engine quit because of oil-fouled spark plugs. Harley and I pushed my Shovel into a deserted shed behind a weedstrewn gas sta on. We spent the next three days rebuilding the engine with tools we always carried and some Harley rode many miles to borrow. We did not really need to rebuild the engine as rebuilding the oil pump would have sufficed but that was the mantra in those days. Harley rode off with my heads 50-miles in one direc on to re-cut the valve seats at some old automo ve machine shop in some no name town. Then he rode 75-miles in another direc on to the closest H-D dealer to buy piston rings, gaskets and the all-important oil pump keyway. At night, we would ride two-up to the nearest and only bar Riding in Nowhere-ville to shoot some pool and drink beer. We were Today, Harley-Davidson’s are reliable. Many forget or dirty and skuzzy with greasy long hair and beards wearing the ignore checking their oil, which was a religious rite in days past. In the Knuckle, Pan, and Shovelhead days, even a guy like me with no technical background whatsoever was forced joyfully into mechanics. Why? If you were broken down and 1340 cu.in. didn’t know how to string broken chain onto the sprockets EVO Engine with a clothes hanger lying on the side of the road; set a points igni on with a cigare e paper, or rifle a good used set 5 Speed from a rus ng derelict car, or a magneto from a tractor si!ng Belt Drive idle in a nearby field you weren’t going anywhere un l you fixed the problem. You always had help because bikers would stop to lend assistance and wouldn’t leave un l you were okay. There was nobody riding by pretending they didn’t see you. In Low, Low Kilometres fact, riding by without offering help was the ul mate sin for which, they would be cast from the fold. Original Condition Present day, the cell phone calls a tow truck, and a pizza to go while wai ng for someone else to fix your problem as + HST & Lic. you relax by the pool in a local motel with your credit card at Certified and Serviced the ready. 29945 Hwy.48, Pefferlaw On.

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 31

Greed Is The

Enemy

by Donny Petersen

In the hardcore machismo days of the early seven es where bikers were men and women were double breasted there was no room for sensi vity. Me and my bro, Tramp were working on a 1947 Knucklehead chopper. The bike was a beauty with a raked frame, a real long front end with a skinny spool wheel without brakes or front fender. This was in a dirt floor garage in the city’s seedy tenderloin where if you weren’t strong you were a vic m. Our dogs were big and mean as we could be. Me and Tramp lazily drank our beer on a hot Saturday a ernoon while taking turns kick star ng the radical beast that refused to start. Tramp took the breather off the brass plumbing also known as a Linkert carburetor and held his hand over the open throat while I kicked away. This was done for what reason I do not know today, to choke the carburetor and put extra fuel into the lungs for the spark plugs to ignite. Of course, we could have just flipped the choke lever so the bu erfly plate at the carburetor mount would block air to accomplish the same thing. This is just the way things were done back then. I guess if I bared my soul I would have to say that we really didn’t have a clue but a real man could not admit that. Instead, we authorita vely fiddled with stuff like taking the breather off so we could convince ourselves and anyone else, par cularly a woman looking on that we were on top of our game. Back in those days, we didn’t like the black gas line hose that also happened to be fire resistant because we could not see if there was gas in the line going into the carburetor. Yes, we had to be able to observe if the dreaded and omnipresent vapor lock was preven ng gas flow. The automo ve shops sold this line we all used that was clear hose that yellowed with use. It never occurred to us that the yellowing meant that it was not for use with gasoline. Details, we had no me for insignificant details. We were into big picture stuff; the stuff that really ma ered, we were men of ac on who took bold steps especially into the unknown. You know, I can make a lot of fun of myself and the other hardcore riders of the day but to put this all into perspec ve, it would have been very poor judgment to ques on us or dare laugh at us back then... Bike Maintenance was Half the Fun a er all we were men of ac on. We knew only one direc on Half the trip was working on your bike. There was nothing and that was forward. be er than si"ng down with a case of beer on a Saturday Anyway, Tramp removes his hand and there is lots of gas a ernoon and twis ng wrenches with your bros...and we in the carburetor throat. As I con nued to kick, there was learned our lessons hard. Take the beginnings of my first bike air forcing back out of the carburetor throat mixing with the shop in the wrong side of Toronto, a place where only bikers liquid gas. Today, I would kick once, see this and proceed to were happy. check igni on ming. Bikes used distributors with points and condensers back then. It was very easy to install the distributor so that the ming was 180-degrees out. When this happens, the bike can some mes start and run with great difficulty but there is lots of backfiring especially back out the carburetor because the piston movement and valves are sortof going in the wrong direc on when the spark plug fires. If the plug is not CUSTOM WORKS firing at the appropriate me, only a vapor backfires out through the PARTS, ACCESSORIES throat. However, if the spark plug is firing AND INSTALLATION with vapor present, some mes the backfire would contain a temporary ball of fire that most mes goes out because the evaporate gas in the air 7 MAIN STREET EAST SELKIRK ONTARIO N0A 1P0 depletes. dirt and oil from rebuilding and sleeping on the asphalt. There were no showers so there was no need for soap. The locals did not like us. As we le the bar, the second night, Harley’s Shovel would not fire. Someone had stolen his spark plug wires. I knew what was about to happen. I had to back his play in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night without means of ge"ng away. Oh, did I forget to men on the local-yokels outnumbered us big- me? It was on; the ferocity of Harley’s temper kept them at bay with me as his backup shadow as he crudely but effec vely determined who had his plug wires. Plug wires in hand we made a hasty retreat before the crowd could regroup. We blasted into the darkness, the straight pipes sha ering the nigh"me air. We slept on the asphalt another night un l the hot sun woke us with our usual and quite normal hangovers. I dumped a half-quart of oil into the bo om end over the bearings before installing the top-end. We greased or oiled all internal parts during assembly. Finally, my 66-Shovel was purring like a ki en. Unbeknownst to us, the oil-pump-feed key broke on ini al startup. I did not ride the bike hard because of the necessary break-in procedure. So how far will a Harley engine run in very hot summer temperatures in this condi on? At about 200-miles the bike began to feel sluggish. Heat was wa ing off the engine…but the day was hot. Around 225-miles, my bike began to labor. At about 240-miles, my bike began to slow as I gave her more gas. The poor old girl slowed to a seized stop. Harley hung tough. I made a pay phone collect call back to Toronto and some brothers hopped into an old pickup to bring the parts I needed and made the long trip to lend assistance. Helping me out was more important than anything else including work. Ahh, the life of a biker was not always easy. Looking for adventure and whatever came our way was not always fun. Yet, I remember this experience with fondness 30-years later. Well, let us get back to the subject at hand.

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 32

Greed Is The I finished a kick, with my leg s ll on the kicker pedal as I looked down at the carburetor. A ball of fire accompanied a backfire. This me it didn’t go out as it found a fresh source of fuel. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The momentary ball of fire burned through the clear hose subs tu ng as a proper gas line in a frac on of a second. Gas poured out all over the side of the poor old Knucklehead feeding the rapidly spreading fire. Where was the fire ex nguisher? What fire ex nguisher? We never took precau ons. I grabbed a shop smock and tried to beat out the flames. I was pre"y good at spreading a fire and not so good at pu#ng one out. Tramp threw a bucket of water on the flames. The fire was now raging. I ran out of the shop and down the street to a local car garage, raced in, demanded where their fire ex nguisher was and proceeded to rip it off the wall. I ran out without explana on, none was needed since it was sensible to sidestep a nearhysterical 275 pound biker with greasy hair half way down his back and a full beard obviously on a mission. By the me I raced back into the garage, the fire was s ll raging as black smoke from the burning res choked me back. I fired off the ex nguisher and got the flames out. The bike was burned to the ground. Nowadays, it would be a write-off but everything was rebuildable back then. Tramp and I popped open a couple of more beers and surveyed the damages. Ahh well, luck was par ally with us as my garage had cement block walls and a very high roof not the old dried out and termite infested, ro#ng wood found in most garages in the area. Stoically, Tramp took a swig of beer and remarked the Knuckle needed a new paint job anyway. The good news was that we now had a major project to complete. We were progressively becoming more excited as we realized that we would be taking apart and rebuilding our first Knuckle engine. Our old ladies (wives) had now shown up. Tramp and I did not no ce the successive eye rolls they were subjec ng us to. We didn’t care anyway. This was in an era where your bike and brotherhood was way more important than a girlfriend or wife. Half the trip back then was working on your scoot. It was as much fun as riding.

Times Change

The old days are just that, the old days. They will not repeat. Young bikers have trouble with the old guys that have the power. They feel repressed for they have so much to oﬀer. The old guys strain to accept and bring the youngsters along. The young bikers are busy reinven ng the wheel. I wish I knew as much as these new young guys. The old guys marvel at their stupidity and cockiness. Most mes they

Enemy

by Donny Petersen

fail to remember they were exactly It’s Kool To Drink Healthy the same. A FREEZER FULL OF ICE Original bike RENT FOR YOUR WEEKEND PARTY clubs had a young membership demographic but that has changed big me. I once felt the greatest challenge to bike clubs was the genera on gap and for some it was. Bike clubs may never change but they OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK sure can adapt to and deal with Mon - Fri 10 to 7 ! Sat - Sun 10 to 5 what threatens them. This genera onal membership problem resolved itself as successful bike clubs recognized three genera ons of members that coexist and learn from each other. These are the keys to regenera on. Pa ence on all sides is key and is arguably the most difficult part of the process. The old ones are like grandparents (mostly advisers and some mes officers); the middle aged are like the parents (ac ve officers), and the young (members) are the salva on for the future. However, I watch some clubs or club charters where the youngest member is secretary. In this case, the young are likely more qualified than their elders. Why? They are usually the most tech savvy with computers. For a bunch of supposedly ignorant Neanderthal clubbers, their core values and ability to survive can surpass the legendary brilliance of others. Look at the modern manufacturing and marke ng marvel, Harley-Davidson. H-D now suffers much economic malaise because it catered to only one age grouping, the post WWII baby boom. Harley never welcomed nor garnered the next genera on of youth into the fold. It failed to ensure its own salva on. Harley could have learned much from the outlaws they eschewed. H.O.G will face the same mul -genera onal situa on. We shall see if the good guys and gals can fare as well as the bad guys. The old biker club lifestyle is the template for the new one. However, the past is the past and those who will not or cannot adapt fall by the wayside. The new bikers are well aware that greed is the real enemy that will eat them from the inside out. The cancer of greed is always lurking in the background wai ng to ensnare the weak. Successful bikers may be dinosaurs but they are one par cular breed dinosaur, the Adaptosaurous.

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www.donny petersen.com THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33

Western Town Smoke-out June 2013 Wow! The Twins caught a break and got some decent weather for their awesome party for a change and riders took full advantage of it and came out to party hearty. They have been plagued at many past events with weather that has ranged from pissy to just plain horrible, but not today. The skies were blue and the temperatures were hot. The beer was cold and the food was fantas c! There was the usual crowd for whom these events have become tradi onal plus many more, some of whom had come to set up their campgrounds earlier in the week and started to party and just couldn’t ﬁnd a really good reason to stop so they got an early start. This is a great spot and a great party and “The Twins”, Charley and Ernie along with family and friends put a lot of me, eﬀort and love into their event and this weather was tailor made for them. I had another event

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 34

that I covered in the morning so it was early a ernoon when Petoonia and I rolled down that long driveway and joined the party already in progress. I parked Petoonia, traded my helmet for my hat, grabbed my trusty Nikon and got into full Roving Reporter Mode. Now I know a lot of people here so ge ng anywhere usually takes a fair bit of me as I have to stop and yack to this one and that one as I go so and I’d have to stop at pre y well every campsite along the way. There is always the oﬀer of cold beer but I have to ride out at the end of the day so I have to keep myself in check. Charley and Ernie are constantly on the move throughout the day scurrying about tending to business and ge ng things done and it is hard to get them to stand s ll long enough to say hi at mes. They put their hearts and souls into this event. Johnny Sombrero and a large con ngent of Black Diamond Riders their families and friends were set up once again as they have for the last several years and I made my way over to say hi. S o m e o n e reached down to the bo om of a large cooler and handed me an ice cold 50 tallboy courtesy of John and this ﬁne group of people. How did they know my brand of beer?

Western Town Smoke-out June 2013 They do tend to look a er me. Thanks John! So I talked a bit before venturing oﬀ to take in the rest of the happenings. There were several other vendors set up selling a wide variety of items and doing a good business. I made my way down the hill into this li le valley to where the rus c buildings that the Twins have built from reclaimed lumber and a lot of love, hard work and imagina on made up the heart of this place that is “Western Town” and serves as party

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central for this merry band of bikers that know that this is the place to be! People are everywhere, standing in large groups talking and enjoying the day and some fine company or kicked back on the porches, exploring the inside of buildings such as the jail (A popular spot to be sure.) that the Twins have fixed up and furnished to give the event a real flavor that is characteris c of this event and the people that created it.

en re place and lures you to the cookhouse and bar area where you can spend your “Town Bucks” and quench your thirst and ﬁll your belly all at one spot. Motorcycles of all makes and models line both sides of the street and more are arriving all the me. There are several diﬀerent camping areas on the property and many have regular spots that they go to each event and

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35

Western Town Smoke-out June 2013

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they feel comfortable here. That is part of the charm of this place. You feel comfortable here. The bike games were about to begin so I hobbled back up the hill (Yeah my knee is s ll giving me grief. The knee brace helps but it isn’t a cure.) and take it in. As I crested the hill a BDR member came over to replace the empty 50 can with a full cold one. I looked up to see John smiling from his booth where he was selling BDR support items and memorabilia and holding court. I smiled back, hoisted the can in a toast and moved on.

MY friend Sco y was set up just inside the gate with his great BBQ and was serving up some great ribs, pulled pork and other great food and some incredible prices and business was brisk. I stopped in to talk a bit before moving on to take in the games.

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The games have been pared back over the years to just a couple of events but they are s ll popular and there are many who are regular compe tors and there is some friendly

Western Town Smoke-out June 2013 but intense rivalry that has been building between several. The Twins are known to bring out many of their own bikes to the compe on and they have replicas of both the “Captain America” and “the Billy Bike” that are amazing to see and extremely popular. My personal favourite is “Rat Fink”. This is a fantas c “Rat Bike” that is a treat for the eyes. No ma!er how many mes I see it and examine it I always ﬁnd some li!le thing that I’ve never no ced before. I checked out the bikes in the cemetery that were entered in the Show and Shine before strolling back through visi ng at the various new campsites that were springing up as more and more people arrived and there were more people to meet and greet as I explored this fantas c event. I got to kick back for a bit before saying my goodbyes. My old gimpy knee can only take so much pounding and the hill and

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Ladies and Their Harley’s

The last feature lady of the year is named Allison and to say that riding is in her blood is not an exaggera on at all as it runs in her family and she says that she was the last child in a family of all girls and her dad really wanted a boy so she says she was treated diﬀerent than all her older sisters. She says she couldn’t learn to drive ll she could remove the transmission from the car and also had to learn to drive s ck. Allison’s father was a nkerer as she describes him saying that he nkered with old cars, motorcycles, boats and in his en re life he only ever bought 2 cars brand new and those were both purchased in one year in 1974. One was a family car a Buick and the other was a Chevy caprice convertible which she s ll has and she says she drives it once a year just

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 38

to say she has driven it. The man had a passion for all things mechanical and he taught her to work on a wide variety of things ranging from 1926 Pierce Arrow with a rumble seat, 1937 Cadillac, and a 1973 Spi ire. (my money is on the spi ire for the transmission r & r) he also had a passion for motorcycles saying he was par cularly fond of his Indian Motorcycles of which he had several as well as a mid 40’s Ariel which Allison says is being restored at this me and his 1967 BSA which he gave to her in her teen years and she rode that bike to school every day. He also had a sailboat and she says that he started taking her sailing at the age of 4 and she actually had a love a sailing before her love of riding. When her father passed away she says that she realized that he never had the opportunity to do the one thing that she felt he was born to do, be a mariner. She says that he never pursued it due to his obliga ons to his family and daughters and Allison says that it made her take

Ladies and Their Harley’s Allison regarding her request to be on the feature list I was surprised to learn that she was emailing me from some obscure south pacific island where the ship that she was sailing on with her daughter had stopped in port. The sailing is a great story in itself and she says she has been doing it for about 7 years now and on the most recent trip she took her daughter aboard as well. So the sailing is really in the family blood as Allison had pointed out saying that her daughter so wanted to go aboard ship with her this past year that she did two years of summer school to finish up her high school and earn her diploma so she could go on board the ship for a very long cruise and covering nearly half the globe by my es mate. They boarded ship in Grenada, and sailed through the Panama Canal, visi ng Pitcairn Island a remote island with a weather sta on a popula on of 42 and no Harley-Davidson motorcycles as Allison reported to me. She says the closest she came to finding a rental was in Panama and to her disappointment the place she spent an hour and a half in a a good hard look at her own life and where it had gone and where it had ended up. She says that she stopped riding when she got married and had her daughter and that her husband was not a rider so her passion for riding was put onto the backburner for more than a dozen years. During that me she had some severe problems with her knee saying the problem was par ally gene c and par ally self inflicted life style but she required numerous surgeries and spent a number of years in a wheelchair and physio trying to get her legs back. Once she divorced she le the suburban living op ng instead to move back to her na ve Milton area and consider all the things that she loved in life and had not been able to do for those years and got that old BSA out. She took it to a friend to get it ready to ride again and his honest appraisal to her was that if he didn’t know that the ride had a tremendous amount of sen mental value to her that she should scrap it. Of course it was on its way to being repaired, she was even able to locate a new fibreglass tank for the bike as the original one had sat for far too many years with fuel in it and completely gummed up. When she informed her mechanic friend that she was in the market for a Harley he said that he had just the bike for her and he was working on it at that me and it would be ready soon for her, it was this beau ful 2003 Heritage So ail you see before you. She picked this bike up four years ago and has been unstoppable ever since with her riding saying that she rides all summer and sails all winter, wow of course I had to ask how she accomplishes that. Allison says that during that re-assessment of her life to that point she realized that the things she loved to do most were to ride motorcycles and sail on a tall ship. She was le a small inheritance which she has managed and receives a small monthly s pend, she does contract work for the Red Cross and she says that they are very flexible on her work schedule mes allowing her to pursue her other interests in life. When I first emailed

taxi to get to had six t-shirts 4 used parts and a used Harley for sale, she says she bought a shirt and le taking comfort in knowing she tried to rent a bike. A er sailing across the pacific to the south pacific she boarded a plane to head back to Canada as it was approaching riding season leaving her daughter on ship for another 4 months to complete the cruise. She tells me her daughter is back home now and preparing to head off to college studying for a degree in marine naviga on, like I said it’s in the blood of this family. Allison rides with our own contribu ng writer Manon and a"ends events whenever she can free herself up from babysi#ng her own dog named Harley and others that she has adopted the latest being a 9 year old Great Dane whose owners where downsizing and their plans did not include the big dog, Allison has a roommate who also rides and she says they switch off on rides and taking care of the animals. So just about everything that Allison wants or ever wanted is just right about where she wants it, she says she even took her mom for a ride on the back of her Harley on her 80th birthday like her dad had done with her grandmother on her 80th and she hopes that her daughter will take her for that ride to when the me comes. The only other thing Allison says she really wants or what she calls her covet is a HarleyDavidson Police Special, I think if she ever gets one she will have to dial us up and update us on her voyages.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 39

Motorcyco Beau 14th Annual Ride of Splendor Carleton Place & District Memorial Hospital Auxiliary

Sunday, 15 September, 2013 Carleton Place Curling Club 120 Patterson Crescent (off McNeely Ave.) Registration..8:30 to 10:00 a.m. Returning:........2:30 p.m. Breakfast:.....8:30 to 10:00 a.m. Lunch:..... 2:00 to 3:30 p.m. Ride Begins:....9:30 a.m. Prizes Awarded....3:00 p.m. INFORMATION REGISTRATION AND PLEDGE SHEETS

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A lot happened in this past month, but of course things always seem to speed up as the summer goes by. Turnouts for most of the local events have been larger than last year and considering the uncoopera ve weather I would say that area riders are doing their utmost to make the best of what summer has to oﬀer. The Wednesday Cruise Night at Rideau Carleton Raceway have seen evenings with 400 bikes a ending not to men on the growing public who come out to walk among all the iron horses and marvel at the eﬀorts that people put into personalizing their motorcycles. The area available at RCR for motorcycles is in short space and the folks who donate their me to oversee the motorcycle

from the Far East.... of Ontario that is! component of the weekly event, (The Cel c Brotherhood) are working on possibly finding a separate lot for the motorcycles next year to accommodate the growing number of bikers that are taking advantage of ge"ng together with others in the riding community. The Sunday Cruise Night at Denny’s Restaurant (South Keys) in O awa’s south end has been a regular event all summer and along with TCB will be hos ng their fall charity event on Sept 8th, one of two mes a year where the motorcycles share the lot with custom trucks & cars and help to raise funds to help TCB with their Trauma c Brain Injury & PTSD Awareness project with the first official ride taking place in Summer of 2014. With the help of Denny’s in the South Keys, special glasses that simulate some of the symptoms of concussion have been put on display at motorcycle events for people to try and to promote awareness to everyone about head injury and what to look for. In early July the vintage motorcycle event took place in the village of Oxford Mills, about 50 minutes south west of O awa and as usual there was a great turnout of motorcycles with a past. Many of them with names that riders under the age of 50 may have never heard of and for those who

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Motorcyco Beau are older this event is an event of memories where you could hear other riders walking around poin ng out bikes that they had once owned years ago and personally I am always blown away by the me and energy that the vintage bike builders put into restoring this bikes to near factory condi on. If you would like to enjoy seeing bikes from days gone by, this Sept 7-8th, The Old Bastards (Yep! That’s what they are called) a vintage motorcycle club will be holding their 12th Annual Interna onal Vintage Bike Rally in Delta which is about 120kms southwest of O awa or an hour’s drive from Kingston. The folks at this rally are the real thing when it comes to pu ng on an event, we went last year and the weather was windy & rainy and yet the people a ending this event were out there having a ball, rain or not and if you can make the me get out and take part in this rally, like I said, great people!. One of the highlights of early August was ge ng out and a ending the 2nd Annual Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy, held partway between the towns of Brockville & Merrickville. This year Big Daddy’s was blessed by perfect weather and the turnout was truly impressive. The grounds this event is held on is really something because the area that their rodeo takes place in, allows you to stand on higher ground and have a bird’s eye view of all the ac on or you can go down and watch it all on level ground. The rodeo was hosted by the Capital City Bikers Church and Hillbilly and his crew did an excep onal job of seeing to it that all of the crowd were thoroughly entertained. The CCBC has added a couple of new events to their rodeo schedule and thanks to members like Todd Clapp, the “Lovely” Nelia Goncalves and including Bruce & Beth Beavan, the Bikers Church con nues to help to support the local motorcycle community. Sadly, this year the popular MAD (Motorcycle Apprecia on Day) that the Bikers Church has put on over the years has been cancelled and many area motorcyclists are going to be greatly disappointed because this was a major event in August for many people and for now they will be holding a Blues night at the Church on Carillion St in Vanier instead. Let’s hope that perhaps they will one day be able to bring back their M.A.D event. As usual the well known father/son team of Doug & James Taylor contributed their me and effort in helping prepare the incredible meal that Big Daddy’s put on for everyone. It was definitely one of the finest meals many riders have been served at an event and with some new changes the line moved along much faster and people actually got to enjoy

from the Far East.... of Ontario that is! a hot meal, no baked potatoes that get colder than your lady’s feet on a winter’s night, and the salads were all in covered cups so you did not have to mess with a balancing act to get all your food back to your table. I might men on that the three diﬀerent fruit cobblers were a raving success too, who would have thought that dessert would be popular. On a very sad note regarding this last month, my constant companion at dozens & dozens of motorcycle events each year, Garth, the Wonder Doberman, passed away a er a short but valiant ba le with bone and prostate cancer. Now just about every biker I have ever had the privilege of knowing, considers their dog a part of the family and for that ma er nearly every biker’s dog I have met was a rescue in some way whether found starving on city streets or abandoned in the country... maybe we see the real value in what others just toss away. Anyhow Garth was not only my traveling companion, he was my service dog and he helped me deal with my PTSD and it was something to see him with others who have PTSD or even people who had been trauma zed by a big dog at one me or another, it was almost eerie how quickly he made people feel at ease and it has been an experience to have received condolences from all over the Biker world and on a personal level being confronted by grey-

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Motorcyco Beau bearded, ta ooed men whose eyes ﬁlled up with tears or who couldn’t ﬁnish a sentence when trying to say they were sorry for his passing. I had always promised Garth that I would not leave him alone so when his me came I kept him with me and drove up to a pet crematorium in Pembroke called VCRS to par cipate in a “Witness Crema on” so that I could bring Garth home the same day. Now I know this may make some people uncomfortable but many bikers I have known prefer to have the ashes of their companion returned to them so they can bury or keep at home and some like myself want their dog’s ashes sca ered along with theirs when the me comes which I might add gives a new meaning to “In The Wind”. The person who runs the opera on is a fellow biker and Harley rider named Mike Amyo e and he was not only understanding about what we wanted, he made sure we understood the whole process, Mike somehow took some of the stress out of what was happening and I cannot thank him enough for his being a class act but then that is what I expect from a fellow biker.

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from the Far East.... of Ontario that is! Garth was instrumental in a couple of charity projects that myself and members of TCB are involved with, one such project was Garth’s walking around bikers wearing a special vest that said “Pat Me-Pay Me...Help Kick Start A Life” while collec ng money to purchase portable defibrillators to be brought to motorcycle events and rides in case someone ever had a heart a ack. The other project was Garth’s “Street Dawgz Drive” where The Cel c Brotherhood encourages the public and businesses to donate dog coats, dog boots, collars & leashes etc which they will then distribute out to the dogs of the street people & the homeless in conjunc on with two veterinarians who help the dogs of the homeless regarding health problems or maybe even some spay/neutering. Most of the people who have dogs and live on the streets have or had substance abuse problems or mental health issues but either way their keeping dogs seems to keep them posi ve because they have something they have to care about even if they don’t care for themselves and let’s face it...if those dogs were at the humane society, most of them would be dead now so this is a project that is win – win for the street people & the dogs...and I want to add that The Riders Mag is very suppor ve of both of these causes. August 24th is going to be one helluva party for “Da Bozz”, Mike Bossio of Boss Auto Service and there are not many people who have been as ac ve and had such a posi ve influence over the last 40 years in the motorcycle community as Da Bozz, he has always been ready to head out somewhere with his trusty tag-a-long bbq to cook for any biker event and he has been a major influence in the crea on of charity rides and events, si ng on the execu ve of S.O.A.R & ORRA...and personally I look forward to heading over to his place and along with many of his good friends and Brothers, wish him a happy 65th and a big thank you for his contribu ons to the motorcycle community and for being a personal friend & Brother for these many decades. A couple of events I want to remind folks about in Sept are the 14th Annual Ride of Splendor in Carleton Place for the hospital auxillary and also on Oct 6th which is the 1st Annual Motorcycle Ride for Au sm O awa taking place in Bells Corners. Both rides are for good causes and will allow you to get a few more miles in before it is me to put the bikes away. I want everyone to remember that from here on in the days get shorter and as they get colder we will be pu ng on more clothes when we ride and the people driving cars are going to be even less likely to spot us out there so please be careful...I don’t want to lose anymore old friends or be robbed of the chance to make new ones! As always..” We Make Our Biker/Motorcycle Communi es Stronger...By Making Them Be er!”....Brotherhood! Motorcyco Beau!

Eagle Eye Newmarket Grand Opening BBQ by Danni

Eagle Eye has spread their wings and has opened a new shop at 17315 Yonge St. just before Davis Dr. On Saturday August 10Th , A group of 19 Motorcyclists le the Whitby loca on and rode into NewMarket to the grand opening of this well known motorcycle shop.

The Opening was a success with the famous Princess of Sound, DJ Melissa who played a great selec on of music while the crowd had the chance to taste a fine BBQ and she did a fine job drawing the ckets throughout the a ernoon and made sure everyone that was there le with a gi . Eagle Eye Custom Cycles is a full service, extended warranty approved and cer fied shop able to handle all your motorcycle needs. They carry all the latest and greatest chrome accessories from all major distributors. Klock Werks windshields, Exhaust, Performance Products, and all the major re brands in all sizes. If it’s a quick oil change, a complete build or accompany Theme Bike— They can do it! Eagle Eye shares the building with business friends, Abibaba Wholesale who also has a shop in Whitby. Abibaba distributes and retails motor sports products such as Dirt Bikes, all Terrain Vehicles, electric bikes, scooters, golf accessories, Snowmobiles, helmets, and Mini-Nitro cars to men on a few…. This company has earned the trust of ATV and Motorcycle dirt bike enthusiasts due the high quality and affordability of their products. They provide excellence in customer service providing the latest trends and developments in ATV and Dirt Bike Technology. Bob, would like to thank all who showed and all the Volunteers

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BEST BEEF IN HAMILTON nk; det vould not be proper vair I come from.” The drunk woman giggled and responded, “Well, if you’re not staring at my boobs, swee e, what are you doing then?” He paused a moment, then told her. “Vell, M’am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am nking to myself ‘Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride? This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my le

Page and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her Rear view mirror Pu ng on her eyeliner I looked away For a couple seconds... TO CONTINUE SHAVING And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane S ll working on that makeup As a man, I don’t scare easily But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver Which knocked The doughnut Out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against the steering wheel It knocked My Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coﬀee Between my legs! Splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damned phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damned women drivers! Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence: - No Christmas - No television -No nude women - No football - No pork chops - No hot dogs - No burgers - No beer - No bacon - Rags for clothes - Towels for hats - Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower - More than one wife -More than one mother in law - You can’t shave - Your wife can’t shave - You can’t wash oﬀ the smell of donkey - You cook over burning camel shit - Your wife is picked by someone else for you - and your wife smells worse than your donkey Then they tell you that “when you die, it all gets be er”?? Well no shit Sherlock!.... It’s not like it could get much worse Stephen Harper was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brune e and a redhead. To the blonde he said, I am the Prime Minister of Canada. Now how much would it cost me to spend some me with you?’ She replied, $200.’ To the brune e he asked the same ques on. Her reply was $100. He then asked the redhead... Her reply was, ‘Mr. Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, My pan es as low as my wages, Get that thing of yours as hard as the mes we are living in, And keep it rising like the price of gas, Keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and Screw me the way you have re rees, Then you can have it for free, like everything immigrants get Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the ‘Coolest Headstone’ contest. FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from me to me, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 46

Continued Page 53

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 47

Lincoln County M. C. Show & Shine by Rose

On July 6 2013 I rode in with a group of guys to the Lincoln County Show & Shine up on Hillside Dr. in Beamsville. The

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gates opened at high noon and we were among the first to get in. The cover charge is $10 whether you put your bike in the show or not. If you enter your ride you get a patch with the year on it in their tradi onal blue on white colours. If it is the first me you enter you receive a larger patch that says, “Lincoln County M.C. Show & Shine”. I know a lot of people who wear these patches on their colours and try not to miss a year. You also get a pamphlet that list the classes that bikes can enter and a very long list of Events Sponsors. They have a large number of trophies because they give them out for third, second and first place. It was strange this year that in some classes there was only one bike…..chances are real good of winning. For riders who have never been involved with a show & shine, they also give an explana on of the classes. Here are a few examples….Special Interest – V-Rod, Trike or anything deemed special by the judges…. who are of course

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built by the factory – factory fairing, must have side bags – add-ons accepted. This is where the chrome doodads come in. Radical…anything goes and last but not least Best in Show….the one bike deemed by the judges to be outstanding in all categories. You can see by their criteria that this is an outstanding Show & Shine. Lincoln

Lincoln County M. C. Show & Shine by Rose

County members also do the Biketoberfest Show & Shine. The clubhouse is well set up for events. They have a large area with a number of trees, a canopy set up over picnic tables and two other canopies, one for just the door prizes. They call out door prize numbers all a ernoon because they have so many items from their sponsors. They have a couple members at the gate to collect the entry fee and a few more to send you to the right area for your class of bike. The BBQ is set up near the house and this year they had great fries to go with the burgers. They have a table set up for cket sales for the food so there is never a long line-up. They were also selling ckets on an HD Clock…..and who wins but Lisa’s (from Clare’s) sister Cindy-Lou. She had a few offers to buy the clock before she even picked it up. They sold 50/50 ckets and the first number they called no one came up to collect the money. The crowd of course called for another cket to be drawn and Lenora went up to collect $325….what a stroke of luck. Gord from Stripes and Signs donated a small beer fridge that he wrapped…..what a cool item to have in you garage or rec. room…..the lucky winners of the custom fridge was Bret J. The Class Results….first place only….are…Special Interest – B. Rennie, An que – M. Henry, Stock Sporster/Dyna – R. Frass, Stock So ail – R. Eckmier, Custom So ail – S. Gilbert, Stock Road King – L. Jacobs,

Custom Road King – S. Siger, Stock Decker – T. Reigers, Custom Decker – T. Hoﬀman, CVO Cruiser – U. Caputo, CVO Touring – B. Bissel, Radical – H. Myers and the Best in Show – K. Junes. Congratula ons to all the winners and to Lincoln County members for a great event.

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Hello fellow inmates… nd

Hello fellow inmates…this is my 2 a empt at repor ng what’s what in Durham and nearby. Cri er the kind hearted master of the boobage pix has allowed me another kick at the can, so bear with me my fellow scooter trash friends.. Anyhow July and parts of August have flashed by like thief in the night ..and provided us with one two many days of shyte weather (the Irish pronuncia on of SHIT). But I did manage to put lots miles on my Milwaukee Vibrator… we never pass up a tour due to a li le less than perfect weather…it’s not like you have an infinite number of days to ride. Whenever I meet rider who just got his first Harley you know a er a

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by Donnie Meeker

week or two he will be kicking his own ass for not doing it sooner. Anyhow in July we made several visits to a few of the local MC clubhouses to pimp out our Zombie MC Pig roast, and we were very well received… Please allow me to oﬀer a major shout out to The Brotherhood, Aces and Eights and the always welcoming Rangers MC. My club brothers always reach out to the various clubs and vice versa…it’s all about suppor ng each other and forming bonds of friendship. This year our Zombie Pig Roast suﬀered the curse of the Smoke Out with a rainy weather forecast…..Twins Ernie and Charley over the last 5 Smokeouts have had the rain gods piss all over their par es....and since then this poten al crap weather is known as the Smokeout Curse. (well all except for their recent June event where the sun was shining all day) Ernie told me he had close to 500 thru the gates, good one for the Twins.. We all know how these outdoor events go in the shi er with rain…and all your work to put it on goes with it, but we soldier on... This was our second Pig Roast event, and The Zombies MC plan to go for it next year as well. Everyone a ended chowed out on a massive amount of top drawer eats…. salads/corn on the cob/chicken wings/burgers/sausages and of course a whole BBQ’d hog…done by Chef Chris who always hits it out of the park with his portable pig roast rig. The bike games are always interes ng to watch…as well as our tradi onal club tug of war (with a 500$ prize)…which was actually won by our 5 member team made up of Happy/ Whop/Toad/BigRed and Havoc…unfortunately as Zombie members they get the square root of dick and the 500 bucks went back to help cover our event costs...but it was cool for us to win this year….the Iron Phoenix won last year.. We’d wish to thank all the clubs and indviduals that came for out our party this year…Clubs that I can recall were Longhorns/Amigos/Solos/Cola on Crew (man them guys can party) ..Toronto East was on hand to sell their support gear… Even tho our numbers were not what they could have been if it had been a sunny day. The event was a very successful fun day for all. Each year with the guidance of Scary Larry our Zombie club pres. we con nue to tweak this event and improve it. We ensure for those that a end it’s not just same ole stand around and eat a burnt burger day…. Aug 10th …..I had asked Cri er if he would like some company on his trek down to cover the Chapman’s Ride (for Diabetes)….well

Hello fellow inmates…

by Donnie Meeker

he agreed…and said “be on 407 under the Dufferin Bridge @ hope you do find the 7:30 Saturday morning” …well my mo o is “Have Beer Box me to ride as many Will Travel” (on the 407) I was good go. That highway is just miles as your trusty endless slab with nothing to see.. …cept it’s the fastest /safest motorsickle will take route from our end of town to motor out to the Hammer and you …support local beyond. And I don’t know about events when you can… you but the fraking 401 with the and keep your kneez to usual half wi ed weekend drivers the breeze… cya when I is a bitch…a white knuckle ride cya.. Dangerous OUT! at the best of mes.. I live in the big smoke and must have million miles on that 16 lane parking lot… (401). Most of those noobs that just got off the boat and somehow got a drivers license have tunnel vision…they never move with the flow of traffic…clueless to what is beside or behind them…and can barley see over the steering wheel….ok enough on that …you all know what I am talking about. So I made my first trip to Oshweeken which seemed like a never ending stretch of smoke shops just few clicks from Bran!ord…we stopped for some bacon and eggs in town, and headed over the Oshweeken Speedway to sign up for the ride…met some cool people like (Rev Ken from Biker Church) and lots IRON RIDERS…as usual when travelling on foot with Cri er every few feet he encounters someone that knows him…and they commence to jawin’ …plus the never ending bevy of beau es that greet him..(I have no idea what he whispers in those fine females ears but I plan to learn how to read lips so I can get some of his jabber down pat…! Cri er will provide all the real details of the ride…I was just his wingman on that day…..but when we hit Smithville Legion..the line up for “refreshments” was long, so another thirsty rider.. none other than Princess Tamre suggested we head out back to the Big Smoke and make a pit stop at S/B/Blow in the Hammer ...the first ale I barley tasted it went down so well…anyhow we then were ready to roar down QEW to Toronto…but just for shitz and giggles we hit another bar for one more liquid intake stop on the Lakeshore…(my old stompin grounds)… and then I hit it home to Picky Pickering ….awesome day awesome people..great cause…And thanks Tamre…fun watching cagers eyes bug out when you ride by… On another note my chance to go to Sturgis passed by me again, I fear by the me I get my shit together I will be too old to travel….Over the years I have been on many a road trip. …go a love NY/NH/VT/ PA with a million miles of great roads and www.rnrcustomcycle.com biker bars. ..…next is Kentucky/Tennessee. Major & Minor Repairs, Rebuilds & Scheduled Service …6 years ago I made it to Nevada/Arizona Complete Machine Shop Service, Frame Up Build to Order and Cali for 8 day ride in March, riding down Harley Davidson Trained P.H.D. Mechanic there should be on every bodies bucket list. The Cali costal Hwy #1 running down from Monterey to Santa Barbara is a ride to end all rides, and I hit on a sunny day. So those of you that are reading this I

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108 Beaumont Cres. Guelph, Ont THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 51

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Southwest

By Gaurdrail

Well it’s been a crazy month around here, me s ll recovering from the throat cancer surgery, can’t talk proper, wai ng for radia on treatment, then out of nowhere really, my wife Linda gets diagnosed with a brain tumour. She went for a cat scan last Thursday and they (the hospital) would not let her leave. She has since undergone surgery and is back at home. Good luck on your road to recovery. The Queensmen M.C. Band fest was a great event this year, like years past the guys put on a fantas c show with 10 bands playing classic rock music. This year was different ya see, their sound man/convener AL MUIR passed away , as he was responsible for ge ng the bands , se ng the stage with speakers, lights, drums ect. Al you are greatly missed by all, R.I.P brother. So having to get all their own bands and stuff geared up, the club called upon their member Sarge to take on the task. Well things could not have worked out any be er, the amount of talent that was brought to the stage was second to none and with the music being played to the wee hours of the morning, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves fully. The guys put on a great b-b-q and a endees were fed burgers, dogs, French fries etc… the clubs hospitality was excellent and everyone enjoyed their share of the food. The Red Devils Hamilton celebrated their 65th anniversary this month; I had to miss the fes vi es because of the wife’s pending surgery. I was told the event was highly a ended by many clubs and associates. CONGRATS TO YOU ALL HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Phantom Thunder held their Blues Bash this past weekend; there were many clubs in a endance + a lot of independents and ci zens. The bash was held at the Ponderosa Camp Ground just outside London, a very quiet out of the way campground. PTMC got to use the very large field at the entrance of the campground which kept the noise to a minimum for the many seasonal campers, many of whom came down for a burger, or just to listen to some of the stage talent that was playing. The pig roast was enjoyed by all and boy did it look good! I had filled up on the pre diner b-b-q hamburgs that were available, one of which was purchased by Joan, the clubs VP’s wife… thank you Joan it was delicious! Then the bike games, the slow race went off first, this was a very good game as this far in the season folks have had a few months and many different events to prac ce. So slow they went! Taking the trophy was Ken McDonald Sarnia /Lampton Bro. The barrel race was very interes ng, with many entrants. The crowd cheered and the lucky winner was Charlie VanDenkker. The tug of war went well as the clubs par cipated and many were having a lot of good laughs. In the end, Sarnia Lambton Bro took the trophy. The needle in the haystack was won by George and Tiny Mudie. The balloon toss was won by Jamie Avon and Vanessa Melvin. The ladies tug of war was won by the Queensmen’s women. And lastly, the farthest distance rider was Mike Drouillard from the Queensmen M.C. Congratula ons to all individuals and clubs on your victories! PLEASE WATCH FOR MOTORCYCLES! Un l next month… Guardrail

Joke

Page

doesn’t lie to you. 4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me Teacher asks the kids in class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Lil’ Mikey: “I Wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Inﬁnite Visa Card and to make love to her three mes a day”. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then con nues the lesson: And you, Tanya? “I wanna be Lil’ Mikey’s bitch PENSION SEX Two men were talking. ‘So, how’s your sex life?’ ‘Oh, nothing special. I’m having Pension sex.’

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Joke

Page

‘Pension sex?’ ‘Yeah, you know; I get a li le each month, But not enough to live on!’ LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ‘I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every me we’re in bed And my husband climaxes, He lets out this ear spli ng yell.’ ‘My dear,’ the shrink said, ‘that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.’ ‘The problem is,’ she complained, ‘it wakes me up!’ QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, The man came right out and asked his wife During a recent lovemaking session, ‘How come you never tell me When you have an orgasm?’ She glanced at him and replied, ‘You’re never home!’ CONFOUNDED SEX A man was in a terrible accident, And his ‘manhood’ Was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine Could give him back his manhood, But that his insurance wouldn’t cover the Surgery since it was considered cosme c. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for ‘small, $6,500 for ‘medium, And $14,000 for ‘large.’ The man was sure he would Want a medium or large, But the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife Before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone And explained their op ons. The doctor came back into the room, ftwcycles83@gmail.com And found the man looking dejected. ‘Well, what have the two of you decided?’ Asked the doctor. ‘She’d rather remodel the kitchen.’ WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel On the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, ‘When you die, I’m ge ng You a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever’.’ !Financing Avaliable ‘Yeah,’ she replies, ‘when you !Family Owned & Operated die, I’m ge ng you a headstone that !Since 1958 reads: ‘Here Lies My Husband - S ﬀ At Last.’ WOMEN’S HUMOROUS SEX My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly Wheatley, 519-825-4222

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