The Rider's Mag Dec/Jan Volume 20, Issue 9

Volume 20, Issue 9 Dec. 2018/Jan. 2019

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Come join us...

OPEN HOUSE Feb 9th 10 am - 3 pm

INJURED IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT? Experienced Injury Lawyer, Gary Mazin, a long time rider wants to help!

1-800-432-HURT mazininjurylawyers.com

AWARD WINNING MOTORCYCLE PERSONAL INJURY LAW FIRM The Rider’s Mag - Page 3

Whats Shakin’

Pg. 5

Cruisin’ With Critter

Pg. 8

Lil Red

Pg. 14

Stitch

Pg. 15

One Armed Bandit

Pg. 16

I Am an Addict - David Rusk

Pg. 18

Jokes

Pg. 20

Twisted Spokes Astrology

Pg. 24/31

Gone But Not Forgotten

Pg. 25

Donny Petersen

Pg. 38

Jessie Lee’s Open Road

Pg. 42

Just East of the Rockies - Dan T

Pg. 44

Motorcyco Beau

Pg. 46

Bikers Friendly Guide

Pg. 52

Our Advertisers

Pg. 54

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Toll Free 1-855-873-6680

Phone: (905) 235-5353

Fax: (905) 235-5358

Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Graphic Design: Brenda Murray Office Manager: Diane Davis Sales/Events: Chantel Colwill Sales/Office: “G” Jenique Lavallee Office Gremlin: FUCK

Beau Rooney, Dangerous Donny, Donny Petersen, Maxx Kochar, Jonathan Musson, Rosaire, Momma Angie Sandow, Annette & Guy Simmons, Chantel, L’il Red, Jessie Lee, Jeff Burgess, Guy Levasseur, Dan Trembley, Gregg Walker, David Rusk

Contributing Cartoonists

For Ad Information or Rate Cards Please Contact The Editors or a Sales Rep.

DECEMBER Dec 1st - Hogtown Cycles Annual Christmas Open House MERRY CHRISTMAS, from the folks at Hog Town! It’s that time of the year when Santa recognizes just how “nice” the Hog Town family is, and invites everyone to the Christmas celebrations starting at 10am until 3pm.

There will be door prizes, food, sales, and of course the big man in red. Santa will be doing meet and greets with photos between noon and 2pm. Be sure to bring an unwrapped gift or non-perishable food item for the Middlesex Food Bank. 164 Main St. in Lucan, 6-8pm www.hogtowncycles.ca

JANUARY 2019 Jan 4th-6th 2019 Motorcycle Super Show One of the years largest 2-day events is back again for 2019! There is always so much to see and do, with the show ‘n’ shine, awards, vendors, special guests, leather fashion shows, and so so much more! Be sure to book your vendor booth while you can, cause spots sell out fast! For more information check them out on the web, motorcyclesupershow.ca.

Jan 27th Beachville Swap Meet Bacchus MC Everyone waits for these swap meets to come, and it is here again! Show your support and come to sell or buy some of your favorite wares! Doors open at 9am and things start getting wrapped up around 2pm. A donation of 5.00$ for the entry fee, and as always kids under 12 are free! For more information, or for a vendor’s booth, please call; 226-339-5184. Located at; Colombo Club of Oxford 434719 West Hill Line, Beachville, On N0J 1A0.

FEBRUARY Feb 3rd Greely Swap Meet The Greely Swap meet is back in action! Come on out to the Greely Legion @ 8021 Mitch Owens Road, Ottawa.

Admission is 5.00$, and to have a table is $20. Food and beverages available! For more information please contact; (613) 446-0027 OR (613) 295-6934.

February 9th, 2019 HIP’S CYCLE OPEN HOUSE Hips Cycle would like to invite all past, present, and future customers to join them for their OPEN HOUSE! This event begins @ 10am and will start wrapping things up around 3pm. There has been promise of delectable food, enjoyable entertainment, and of course sales, sales, and more sales! Find us @ 900 Colborne St. E. Brantford On. For more info give the guys a call at the shop, (519) 756-2618.

Feb 24th Big Al’s Swap Meet Big Al is back again! Come on out to one of the most sought-after swap meets around! Sunday Feb 24th @ the Dundas Community center, 10 Market St. South, Dundas. Doors open at 9am and they shut down around 2pm. Admission is 8.00$, and of course kids under 12 are free! For more info or booth space please call; 905746-7077

MARCH March 24th Classy Chassis and Cycle Road Captain Seminar Come join the fantastic crew from Classy Chassis and Cycle, March 24th to become the best road captain you can be. These knowledgeable folks will teach you all in the ins and out that you need to know. The classes start at noon, and run for an hour long. For more information, please feel free to call; (705) 292-8300. Located @ 1399, 8th Line of Smith, Lakefield, ON.

APRIL April 6 - 7 Toronto International Spring Motorcycle Show This will be the 30th Annual Spring Motorcycle Show! Over 300 motorcycles are purchased at the Spring Motorcycle Show each year. There will be 50 motorcycle clubs and associations exhibiting at the Spring Motorcycle Show this year! You can purchase your new bike right at the Spring Motorcycle Show direct from the dealer. There are many, many events going on, even more than usual! You will find The Riders Mag there, as well as, your favorite vendors! Toronto International Centre 6900 Airport Road, Toronto, Ontario. www.internationalcentre.com Saturday – April 6th, 9am – 9pm & Sunday – April 7th, 10am – 5pm FREE PARKING! To reserve booth space, discuss sponsorship opportunities, or book ad space in the Spring Motorcycle Show Program please contact us at; 905-771-0132 or peter@motorcyclespringshow.com.

MAY May 4th Bondslaves MC Mega Swap Be sure to take a ride out on May 4th to show these brothers some support. Bondslaves MC Ottawa Chapter Mega Swap Live Bands (MOTHERSHIP - LED ZEPPELIN & GREAT SCOTT - AC/DC), 50/50, Quality Vendors, Motorcycle Parts, Show ‘n’ Shine, Prizes, Licensed, Food Admission $5.00 Tables $20 each or 2 for $30 Call Scott for more info: (613) 240-3509, bondslavechurch@gmail. com.

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JUNE

AUGUST

June 1st, Desiree’s Ride Join us for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher, along with raising funds for Chatham-Kent Victim Services and Chatham Kent Women’s Centre. Located @ The Royal Canadian Legion, 34 Catherine Street, Blenheim, ON. Registration begins at 11:00AM, kickstands up at 1:00PM, arrival at 4:00PM . For more info visit http:// desireesride.com.

August 17th Desiree’s Ride Join us for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime.

We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher. Located @ The Knights, 12 Catherine Ave, Brantford, ON. Registration begins at 11:00AM, kickstands up at 1:00PM, arrival at 3:00PM . For more info visit http://desireesride.com.

June 1st Highway of Heroes Ride Join us for a fantastic, family friendly, fun filled day chocked with many special events and participants to mark our 10th anniversary! The 10th edition of the HHR goes on June 02, 2018 from Trenton, ON along the Highway of Heroes (401) to Memorial Park in Port Hope, ON. Website: heroeshighwayride.ca June 2nd Veterans Memorial Ride With the success in 2016 of the Birth of a Nation Ride the HHR organizers are proud to introduce the inaugural edition of our new annual event on the day following the HHR. The Veterans Memorial Ride will travel from Kingston, ON to Ottawa, ON. Be sure to watch the website and join us on Facebook to stay up to date with all the details as the date becomes closer. Website; HeroesHighwayRide.ca.

June 23rd, Bobcaygeon Bikefest Our fantastic friends from Bobcaygeon are hosting Bikefest once again this year! With live bands, great fresh food, 100+ vendors, all weekend camping and lodging, FREE ADMISION!! This is always a great time to be had by everyone. Be sure to keep your eye out for a TRM booth! For Vendor infor please contact Krazzy; 705-793-1751 or krazzy@bobcaygeonbikefest.com. For corporate opportunities please contact Lenny; 416-5248321 or Lenny@bobcaygeonbikefest.com. Sponsored by; Hochberg Trial Lawyers.

JULY July 13th Lucan Baconfest Oink Oink, the smell of bacon is in the air! Baconfest is an event, you will feel foolish missing. Located in Lucan Ontario, you will find anything and everything to do with Bacon, and Bikes. Vendors of all types, show ‘n’ shines, prizes, live entertainment, and so much more!

For more info give Teresa a call; (519) 227-1331.

July 27th Desiree’s Ride Be sure to register for the Peterbourogh Chapters 1st Annual for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher.

Located @Classy Chassis and Cycles, 1399 8th Line Smith, Lakesfield, ON. Registration begins at 8:30AM, kickstands up at 10:30AM, arrival at TBA . For more info visit http://desireesride.com.

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Aug 25th- The Riders Mag Annual Show ‘N’ Shine Get your maps out, The Riders Mag is traveling to a new location this year. We have deciced to venture out into the wilds of Loretto on August 26th for our annual Show ‘N’ Shine. There is going to be great food, live music, great vendors, and of course the show n shine. We are looking to expand this year with the fun by MAYBE including some sort of biker games. Vendor booths will be available, and if you are interested in being a part of this years Show ‘n’ Shine please give either Critter or Chantel a call. 1-855-873-6680 or 289-763-4454

SEPTEMBER September 7th Desiree’s Ride Be sure to register for Desiree’s Ride, in support of Victims of Crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher. Located @ The Knights of Columbus 6101 North Street, Niagara Falls, ON. Registration begins at 9:00AM, kickstands up at 11:30AM, arrival at 4:00PM. For more info visit http://desireesride.com.

September 13th Port Dover Friday the 13th Get your babies polished and cleaned for this years Friday the 13th! There are sure to be your favorite vendors, delicious food and so much more!

Look forward to seeing you!!

September 19th-22nd Biketoberfest Pack up those bags, and book off your holidays for this weekend! Biketoberfest is one of the best events of the year. Sept 20th is the ride for flags, which leads you to the W.C.M.C Flat track. Then the festival starts on Saturday the 21st. For vendor information, or more general information please call; Bruce Bissle, 905-7146885.

JUNE 1 • 2019

Please bring canned/non-perishable food donations for the Fare Share Food Bank who will be set up on Queen St., in front of Town Hall, in Port Hope as well as having collection bins distributed throughout the event.

2 RIDES COME TOGETHER FOR 1 INCREDIBLY UNIQUE EXPERIENCE VETERANS MEMORIAL RIDE • KSU 0930 • TO NATIONAL WAR MUSEUM, OTTAWA • MERGES WITH •

NATIONAL MEMORIAL RIDE • KSU 1230 • TO NATIONAL MILITARY CEMETERY

OLD FORT HENRY WWW.HEROESHIGHWAYRIDE.CA

KINGSTON

WWW.NATIONALMEMORIALRIDE.COM

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Hey! How’re you doing? If you are reading this off a printed copy, you will know that we are back in print!

Rumours of the Death of The Riders Mag are premature and unsubstantiated!

We were forced to step back from printing a Magazine since last June due to multiple problems, mostly of the computer and electronic variety that had us on the ropes several times and caused us some ugly financial issues as well! Now some of you may not realize that I’m not widely regarded as a tech savvy kind of a guy, to say the least! I have heard tell that there are posters with my image on them in stores such as Canada Computer, Best Buy and other outlets that stock and sell electronic equipment, offering a huge reward for those who turn me away or sway me away from attempting to fix my own stuff! Some people should not attempt to DIY and I, evidently, are one! It has also been rumoured that, inside every electronic manual or electronic or electrical device of any shape size or description in existence there is a picture of myself along with a stern warning that I am not under any circumstances permitted to touch the internal workings of anything with wires, electrical components, chips, circuits, circuit breakers or fuses, powered by electricity, generated or stored by battery under threat of immediate, prosecution, persecution or execution!

Go figure! Rewire one stove, one time, blow a few fuses, cause one electrical fire and they consider you to be a menace (The house survived!)! So, the point is, solutions didn’t come quickly or cheaply, as each attempt at fixing problems just uncovered more problems and it was utterly a shit show and we were forced to go strictly online for a while! We kept swinging and fought our way back and while battered and bruised are still standing!

We will adjust our subscription lists to reflect the time we were out of print and honour any contracts that were in effect! Please be patient as the subscription file was one of the things that got corrupted so there may still be some bugs to sort out, so if you don’t get your Mags delivered just let us know and we will fix it up! Also, I have a drawer in my desk with subscriptions along with cheques that I didn’t cash since we went out of print that I will be taking a look at soon. If the cheques are stale dated we will contact you!

Anyhow we are back and back to stay! We’ve changed things up once again and brought in some new bodies to help keep us on the right track!

So, if you are reading this I hope you dropped a Twoony in the box because we can no longer produce a free magazine!

We are also experimenting with different paper types and grades in an effort to keep costs to a minimum while maintaining the quality so that pictures and advertisements are as crisp and clean as possible! We are trying to keep The Riders Mag affordable to our advertisers, many of whom are small shops, events, bars and so on without huge budgets to spend on advertising!

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We don’t need to get rich but we have to make some money if we are to survive!

Our costs are real! Our vehicles don’t run for free!

Our crew can’t be expected to work for free and we put in long hours including weekends and holidays! We have to buy and maintain the supplies, software, material and equipment in order to produce The Mag, heat the place in the winter and cool it in the summer! So, excuse me if I get a little testy when I’m approached to run ads for free because “It is for charity!” We have discounts for charity events but we can’t do free!

Our online statistics for The Riders Mag on ISSUU have been fantastic and we can track The Riders Mag’s overall performance, as well as individual page performance! We can see the link outs from ads and even get a handle on what kind of device we were viewed on (Desk top, mobile phones or tablets!) which allows us to provide more material to enhance the reading experience for those on smart phone if that is a concern at any given time! It also gives our advertisers feedback as to whether their ads are effective and reaching the demographic that they desire!

Our website is getting a lot of attention and we will be changing things up and trying some innovative stuff on there very soon! Unfortunately, we are a small crew and can only fit so much into a day, but we are working on it!

Our distribution system was also in need of attention and we decided it was time to re-evaluate how much was going where and if it is still feasible to deliver to some spots!

I contracted my buddy Dave Magee and his son Kyle up at Plastix Fantastix in Alliston to make me some coin collection boxes and Custom Magazine racks so that we can get the Mags into places where no News Stands exist!

Watch for the racks at a bar near you as well as the big red plastic boxes with the neat Riders Mag vinyl graphics (Courtesy of my creative buddy Daniel at Alfagraf!) on them that I managed to score from a couple of guys who didn’t have the space to store them any longer!

So, we decided to pare back the entire distribution file and then build it back up in a manner that is more effective, cost efficient and taking into consideration the fact that we were now going to charge per copy!

We are also looking to put Mags in convenience stores wherever we can come to terms with these outlets! If you have such a store in your neighbourhood or Town that may be interested in carrying the Mag let us know and we will see what we can put together!

In a small crew what effects one, effects all! Our entire crew has seen it’s share of individual problems over the past year, so while trying to work through The Riders Mag issues, each of us also had to contend with their own personal bags of hammers so it has been stressful at times. But we are a small but resilient and tenacious group and have subsequently, been able to deal with it all and even managed to maintain our individual and

collective sanity to some degree! One thing is certain, I don’t think any of us here will be the least bit sorry to put 2018 behind us and move on into 2019 that is full of promise!

We will be at The Supershow in January with a whole booth full of great Mag Swag, Mags, and other surprize stuff!

Hopefully our whole crew will be out for it, Chantel, The Beast, G, Li’l Red, Beau, Stitch (Swap Meet Sue), Mad Mike, Bad Bob, Miss Kitty and a whole lot more!

Donny Petersen will be there once again selling and signing his books! I will be bringing The Riders Mag Trike once again and our new Writer, David Rusk will have his bike there as well and I may even have a special surprize bike on display as well!

Also new to our crew is an old friend of mine, Kris, who has signed on as our official horoscope dude, resident wizard and psychic and will be delving into other areas as needed! He brings a new dimension to The Mag and I think you all will enjoy his (at times) quirky, slightly offbeat, humour and style!

The Supershow itself has a whole lot of great stuff on tap for attendees to see, do and experience this year! I can hardly wait!

I guess that one of the sure signs of aging is when you start using funeral homes, graveyards, Legion Halls and churches as landmarks in various Towns and the sight of, or even being in close proximity of any one of them instantly triggers vivid memories of who you paid your final respects to at this one or that one!

You remember, what time of year it was, who else was there, how many bikes showed up as an escort and so on!

Often, memories of more than one soul are associated by one place! It is kind of comforting, in a strange way, because we still remember them even after, in some cases, decades have passed! Yet our memories of them are still vivid and the feelings you felt back then are still strong! GBNF! Our ghosts that share our lives, live on still!

This has been a Hell of a year for people dyeing and having to saying goodbye and I’ve grown extremely tired of the whole process! It seems every day I get word of someone passing on! This past week, I learned of three more!

I try to get to as many as I can, but conflicts are bound to happen especially when there are multiple deaths all on the same date! Time and distance, are not my friends and I just have to do the best I can and chose one or two and then apologize to whomever I couldn’t get to! I also try to do a write-up in the Mag complete with pictures and all the pertinent information but it can be difficult at times, as I don’t have all the info at my fingertips and my memory fails me quite often! While I more than likely have pictures somewhere in my archives of this particular individual, it takes time to go back through all of those pictures that can span 30 years or more! I always hope that someone will be able to supply it to me, but to people dealing with the loss of a loved one sending me pictures and information is the furthest thing from their minds!

Another problem, and I know that I’m not alone with this problem, is that, many of us have nicknames (Such as Critter!), Club names and such! That is what we are known by! While I may have known this individual for thirty years or better I would have only known him or her by this nick name or that Club name, but seldom by their given names! In some cases, I may never have even known them by any name at all! I know lots of people to see them, party with them and engage in long conversations, while never knowing their actual or even their Nicknames in some cases!

Case in point; an old friend of mine whom I have known, loved and respected for well over 30 years died recently!

I only knew him as Ya Ya! I first knew him as a member of The Brotherhood MC and then The Renegades MC, I was made aware of his passing but I don’t have any idea how to track down the information other than to ask people to send it to me! If it doesn’t come in before deadline I hope that none of his friends, Brothers and Sisters take it as a slight or show of disrespect! I knew the man! I loved the man, I even drew images of him and used them in some of my cartoons and I knew a lot about him except who he was when he wasn’t just Ya Ya! I guess many of my acquaintances are somewhat superficial! Real, and sincere, but superficial none the less! I do try, and I do care, damn it!

I couldn’t get down to the Celebration of life for Casanova from The Brotherhood MC at The Brotherhood CH., the night before, due to prior commitments but did contact Marcie at her Florist Shop up in Creemore, who has now become the official Florist of The Riders Mag and she sent, what I hear was an amazing array of Flowers in the Name of The Riders Mag! However, I did get to attend the funeral down in Maple. It was cold as a witch’s tit and miserable outside (Yeah, Baby, I like that song!) so it was no real surprise to see no motorcycles, other than Casanova’s bike there, and it came in and left on a trailer!

I made it to the Church on time and found a seat with a fine but occasionally, boisterous crew that consisted of Mr. and Mrs. Haircut and the fruit of their loins, Mr. Shortcut! Mr. and Mrs. Gordo were also in attendance in our little section of this amazing looking Church! The Sensational Sophie was there as well and I thought I heard the Angels singing Halleluiah as she made her entrance but she had just timed it perfectly with the singer/pianist’s excellent The Rider’s Mag - Page 9

rendition of the hymn (Completely co-incidentally, no money exchanged hands! I’m buying it Sophie!) and took her rightful place amongst the riff raff ‘cause we all know she fits!

Now I’m not religious, but I respect everyone’s rights to believe what they want to believe and will behave accordingly! This was a Catholic Church (I got seated without a thunderbolt shooting from the Heavens through the many skylights, to strike me dead! So, I thought “So far so good!” Maybe he didn’t recognise me without my hat, which I had removed out of respect for the beliefs and traditions of others!) so I knew that the service would be long and had figured on a lot of up and downs and kneeling and taken a Tylenol in preparation! It was a good service, as far as Church services go and a fine send off for a truly nice man who was as much a part of that congregation as he was a respected Brother to those of our World!

Many members from many Clubs came out to pay their final respects and it was great to see!

RIP Casanova! L&R! GBNF! I had heard about an old friend, Joe Hackett dying from a massive heart attack and immediately set my plans to go to the viewing for him in Uxbridge on Saturday! We were on deadline and being the biggest procrastinator/ slacker of the Team, still had tons of work ahead of me this weekend if I didn’t want to risk the wrath of The Beast!

I then got word that Magoo, from The Hells Angels, MC had also passed on and his funeral had also been scheduled for the same day at the same time up in Barrie! My apologies to all his Club Brothers, his family and his many friends for being unable to attend!

With Joe, I knew that there was no way I could get to the funeral the next day so attending today was my only option and necessary!

Joe was always a solid, stand-up guy, a loyal and reliable friend, a good family man who adored his family and his motorcycles!

He was also one of the original members of The Canadian Lancers MC and was well respected in the Motorcycle Community!

He will be sadly missed by all who had the pleasure of knowing him!

Paradice Riders MC - 2018 Annual Christmas Party As has been my tradition for the past few years, I decided to once again accept the invitation to join with the Brothers of the Blade MC as a guest and travel to the Paradice Party aboard what we lovingly call “The Magic Bus!” This has long been a mainstay event for me and I saw absolutely no good reason to change now! After all, what says Christmas better than partying with a great crew of people and travelling down on the party bus and joining another fine crew of people and partying even more and then just continue partying all the way back again! No worries about RIDE checks or anything! This is a party!

The round trip down to Toronto has never been less stressful! The Magic Bus drops us at the front door and magically appears at the end of the night! Life is good!

We arrived, tuned up to full on party mode and then continued on at that level! We all thoroughly enjoyed the evening and partaking in the consumption of copious amounts of amazing of food that defied description other than, exclamations such as; “Fuck! That is one Hell of a pile of food! Where do I begin?” I compare it to how those 300 Spartans must have felt when they looked across the battle field at the million The Rider’s Mag - Page 10

or so soldiers that the Persian Army that they had just challenged, to a fight! Many, however, were more than up to the challenge and dove right in!

The gigantic Paradice Riders MC spreads, for many of us mere mortals with average appetites can create a dilemma; do you attack with your heart and your appreciation of great food or with your head, using the rational that you know in your heart that you will be suffering later? Some just went for the gusto! Filling

This was definitely not a one visit buffet because how do you chose between roast beef, chicken, turkey, ham, roast pork? You don’t! You eat what you took then went back for more! (I haven’t been capable in this type of eating since my 50’s so I stepped back and let the younger folks with truly voracious appetites do their thing!) Many were seen later, moaning and groaning, the after-effects of over eating clearly showing! Now that I’m in my 70’s, I can overeat from just looking at half that much food! I do however, fondly remember those days when an all you can eat buffet was a challenge that I came out victorious from on most occasions!)

Miss Kitty came down on her own but soon got together with Chantel and our lovely “G” (Who was celebrating her birthday! Yeah just “G” (Keep it simple!) who came down via Uber, on their own, as Scott had to work!) Chantel grabbed the camera from me and was gone for most of the evening, appearing here and there

large plates to overflowing and staggering back to their tables, knees bucking under the weight of their load, then repeating the whole procedure as many times as they possibly could! They made a valiant effort but The Dice kept replenishing it with more food and soon came to the realization that it was a battle that couldn’t be won!

The loading of those plates involved actually choosing from a huge variety of delicious fare which I can only begin to describe! Hams, turkeys, chicken, pork, roast beef and a whole pig were only a small portion of what was laid out before us! There were salads galore of every type imaginable and all kinds of dessert items as well!

Remember your vegetables! Leave room for dessert!

Chrissy brought her amazing cheese cakes again! Yeah plural! Five of them! All different varieties! How do you pick a favourite flavour if you don’t try them all! Many regulars at this event now just wait for Chrissy to show up! Those cheesecakes are something else!

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and even ended up on stage helping with the drawing of door prize tickets and the like! She does make a lasting impression!

I was also surprised to see the previous owner of The Riders Mag, JR along with Debbie, his new flame, out and enjoying the evening! He has undergone some scary and severe health issues that saw him actually die on his way to the hospital in the ambulance a couple of times!

They brought him back and I’m glad that he seems to

have come through it all and is well and is on his way to a complete recovery! He tells me his Dad, Senior isn’t faring so well, I have had many inquiries as to how he is doing as Senior was a huge part of The Riders Mag and mad lots of friends who still care and worry about him!

Laura Lee and her Tequila Rockingbirds band did a fantastic job with their high energy renditions of some good old Rock and Roll tunes and inspired many to attempt to work off what they had just consumed on the dancefloor! This is a truly tremendous night and The Paradice Riders MC deserve and receive respect and support from a lot of different Clubs, both local and from other parts of the Province and the Country!

It was, as expected, a great night, spent with some truly amazing people!

Thanks to all for having me!

L&R

I have been talking to a lovely lady by the name of Marie Swinimer who along with her husband Wayne who founded “Riders” have been running a very successful Tuesday night Ride Night over in Blackstock Motors in Blackstock every Tuesday evening from May 7/19 to Oct., 2019 and have draws and door prizes, live entertainment and sell Riders swag all in support of PTSD – First Responders and Veteran’s and Women’s shelters.

They are also running their 3rd Annual Poker Run for the same cause Saturday at the same location in Blackstock, Sept. 7/19 (Rain date Sept. 8/19) again there will be Door Prizes and live entertainment! This is a cause that is near and dear to the hearts of our own Beau as well as Ray and James from Pace Law Motorcycle Division who are also great supporters of these events!

Give Jason a Call:

905.451.4205

Ext. 26

Get Your Quote Quickly and Easily Online by Visiting:

We Support Motorcycle Awareness Everyday The Rider’s Mag - Page 12

“Yeah, the Elves all chipped in to buy him the complete set of Donny Petersen’s books last Christmas! This was this year’s summer summer project! I hate Elves!!!”

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I’m tired..and it’s not yet December. The white stuff hasn’t been too bad, and I don’t mind it when the temperature is decent. (I’m referring to SNOW, not grey hair..watch yourself!) With holiday parties, birthdays, Christmas shopping and making my Christmas list for my bike, it’s exhausting.

Mind you, I prefer to shop online cause I’m not about to scrap it out with an old bird for a deal, and some seniors toss their walkers and canes and suddenly become MMA fighters to get a deal that’s a mere five bucks off! Have you seen them at the casino?

Holy shit, you better have medical coverage if you take one on!

Sniff…Our bikes have been parked in their room.

My bike misses me. I hear her sniffle at night (or is that me cause I can’t ride her?)

We didn’t get out to ride much this summer, as life sometimes gets in the way.

Our roads were salted and sanded early in the season so riding pretty much ceased at that point. I’m not sure as to whether you brave souls exposing their precious rides to these harsh elements are brilliant or psychotic. I love my baby too much for that.

Mike and I have been working on a design for my ride.

Well, in all honesty, Mike has been doing most of the work. My creativity stops here, and sometimes that can be a tedious read for some of you folks, so I hope ya keep the whisky coming cause whisky makes me funnier!

Mike said cerakote might be the option for my paint changes. His son Shawn (who owns Red Tower Armoury) is looking at changing up his ride too. He and Mike would be doing the work, and if it turns out as we expect, his business is gonna get a whole lot bigger! He’s a gun guy, so if you have a gun, like guns or gun-like things, look him up! I’m not gonna tell you much, but I will post the progress as it’s coming along. A big reveal might be in order.

Recently, I contacted a riding group on FB called Riders This group meets at Blackstock Motorsports once a week in the warmer months, and I’ll be honest, I really love the design on their shirts. I did order a couple for my selfish needs. They have an event coming next summer that we’re hoping to attend, if at the very least, making it to one or more of their bike nights. Ohh, I got decals for my truck too!

With the holidays coming, we’ve spent some time with family already. With Mike’s folks heading to Florida for their six-month stay, we visited for an early Christmas get-together and for the birthday of Mike’s nephew and Mike’s dad. And both love me! (Why wouldn’t they?? I am a gawd damn delight!) I was in charge of the cake for his dad’s birthday, cause…well…it’s food! Ice cream cake was the request by the way, and yes, I had an ice cream while I waited at the shop to pick up the cake. Whaaat? It’s ice cream!

We try to sneak away for biker-related Christmas stuff as The Rider’s Mag - Page 14

often as we can.

One such event that we made sure to attend was Classy Chassis’ “A Very Classy Christmas Party”. I wasn’t feeling the best, and as we we’re walking in, Mike and I passed Scott, a buddy we keep bumping into at bike events in the summer. He said hi, and I had no clue who he was! It’s funny, when you see bike folks all bundled up for the winter, some are hard to recognize, especially when they’re covered in new facial hair. I felt so bad after Mike told me, I had to message him and apologize.

Walking in, we found a couple of girls, Lisa and Jen. Charlene and the gang did a great job of decorating for the jolly fat man. Oh, and Charlene was giving away a body butter (which I am also a sucker for, cause they usually smell like dessert!) so I had to get one. That decision for me was like someone trying to decide which course they should follow in their life’s career!

I found Santa!!!! Jolly old saint nick was only too happy to have a picture with the girls and I. Of course, I was spotted (and photographed) finding the food. It was baked goods!! Moving on!

If you’re at the bike show this January, hit up their booth for their new calendar. It wasn’t ready when this was written.

Now, a couple of our buddies went to Vegas. No, they didn’t get married. (I messaged them and threatened that they better not without my invite. I mean, if Elvis is performing the nuptials, I’m dressing up too!!!

Princess Lea, Jabba the Hut, my choices are endless!

Mike and I really wanted to go, but again, life gets in the way. I know that my sole purpose there would be to find a nice table and sit outside, watching folks. Peoplewatching is such a great

past time. I can only imagine the freakish people there at night!

Our friends did get some great pics at the Grand Canyon (that’s a nope for me as I know my fear of heights.

I’d be crawling, dragging my belly on the ground like an over-fed weiner dog if I was anywhere near that cliff!). Ohh, and hit a “Route 66” stop, the Harley store, an Indian store and Counts Kustoms!

Plus, they scored us some great shirts!

(As well as a buffer rag for Mike to use when he cleans my bike!! Hey, Rod said it, not me!!) It’s a rule since they bought it!

Since we didn’t get to go to Vegas, we tried to entertain ourselves at things like hockey games.

We’ve been to Leaf games, but Mike and I are not into the ‘$15 a beer, $30 for parking and then there’s dinner’ kinda night’. We do however, hit Marlie games that are local and I do not disappoint in making it on the jumbo tron. If I can dress up to make an ass of myself, it’s game on!!! Light up glasses tend to do that. Next one, is a big blue wig!

On to a little sad notation….This past year, a dear friend passed away from cancer. She rode as much as she could, and she was always up for a laugh. Her name was Ellen. The place where she worked, Blommers Chocolate, have been great regarding remembering her. They’ve put in a little garden in the front and added a tree. A beautiful plaque is up, and our girl Kim put a sweet little Christmas decoration on the tree. Mike sent me a pic when he was there, and that got me thinking. Why not have us girls get together to do a little tree decorating? Blommers was ok with that too!! Did I mention they make chocolate!!! (Mike works there sometimes as a contractor and he comes homing smelling like chocolate. It’s all I can do sometimes to not lick his face! (If I know some of you, your mind was not going where I was going. Shame on you, and please keep it up! Mike would be proud!)

As I’ve mentioned, in the new year I will be featuring women who ride in my article. Keep watching and no, do not ask me if they’re single! If you’re a woman who rides, touring, sport or whatever, email me your details with a pic. This will be fun!

I gotta go! There’s only so many days til Christmas and there’s a list of bike stuff to make. Don’t forget, the Motorcycle Supershow is coming and I couldn’t be more excited! January 4, 5 and 6th. I’m planning on being there all day Friday and Saturday. Come see me, say hi, let’s get a pic, bring beer nuts!!!! (Glenn) and have a great time!

I leave you now with this, I’ll try to help keep you informed on things by posting them on my FB page at L’il Red “The Riders Mag” Central and Eastern Ontario. You can also catch me by email at lilred@theridersmag.com. Got an event coming, hook me up with the details. It’s that easy.

Luv ya!

I’d Like to take this opportunity to wish the biker Community a safe healthy and happy New Year!

Spring is coming and I can't wait for the Toronto Motorcycle Supershow, it's like seeing family at Christmas for me! I'm proud to say I'll be part of the Riders Mag Booth this year. I just can't wait to see everyone!

I've had a very busy few months with shows!

November 4th I'd like to do a special shout-out to the Chatham Bacchus as usual they put on a fantas�c Swap meet again this year! It was great to see them all, a great group of people running a fantas�c event!

Peterborough Swap Meet - Larry Pooler put on a fantas�c show! I’m always glad to see the vendors as they become like family for me! Bonnie Kevin and Peter, it was great to see all of you up there! It's nice to know other people travel just as far as I do!

Remember a bike is safe in the garage but that's not what it was built for.

As always take care S�tch

The Rider’s Mag - Page 15

It is mid-December, and as I prepare for a break over the Holidays, I will continue to be busy preparing for the North American International Motorcycle Supershow being held at the International Centre Jan 4, 5 and 6, 2019. I will have my bikes on display as part of the “Century of Motorcycles” exhibit and am hopeful that you will stop by. Meet Hankster 1.0 (Honda Rebel 300), 2.0 (Honda Shadow Aero 750) and my newest addition 3.0 (Honda CTX DCT 700) and let me show you how I ride.

Each bike is unique and has its own special modifications thanks to John and Crew from Motorcycle Enhancements.

I will be selling “WHY DISCOURAGE WHEN YOU CAN ENCOURAGE” patches and t-shirts in addition to sharing tales of determination of my own and others whom I have met.

As many of you know, my motorcycles have been modified with centrifugal force clutches so that I can ride with 1 (left) hand as a result of being born with a congenital birth defect to my right arm. My clutches are not stock and as a result, no dealership will service them. This results in my having to go to shops which are equipped to do so such as Motorcycle Enhancements in Oakville. While this is not an issue when local, it can cause problems when travelling out of province or country.

I recognized that if I could ride with a stock clutch, it would reduce the amount of modifications required and enable any Dealership or shop along my route to service my bike as needed. For this reason, I started exploring Honda motorcycles with DCT functionality earlier this year.

For those of you not familiar with this acronym, DCT is short for Dual Clutch Transmission. This type of motorcycle transmission automates clutch and shift operation while retaining essential structure and direct acceleration feel of a manual transmission. DCT also allows the rider to alternate from AT (automatic) to MT (manual) mode. In MT mode, the rider uses paddles located near the left grip to manually shift.

Honda distributes a few models with DCT technology in Canada however these are either too big (Gold Wing) or too high for me (Afrika, NC750X). After surfing the Internet, I located 2 Honda CTX DCT 700 models which are not sold in Canada. After checking the specifications of the bikes, I decided that the model might work for me so off I went to Bob Weaver Motorsports located in North Tonawanda, approximately 10 minutes south of the Lewiston border.

I did not intend to purchase the CTX - I only wanted to sit on it to see how it felt. Shortly after sitting on one, I was on the phone with John Cosentini, Owner of Motorcycle Enhancements to talk about the modifications which I would require. They would be minimal - relocate the The Rider’s Mag - Page 16

front brake to the left handlebar; fabricate and install a thumb throttle similar to what was designed for Hankster 2.0 (my Honda Shadow Aero 750) After sending a few photos and receiving John’s assurance that he and his crew would once again make magic happen, I decided to move forward with the purchase.

Prior to going to Bob Weaver, I researched what would be required to export a motorcycle from the U.S. and then import into Canada. I discussed this with some fellow riders who had experience in this area and I was told that despite it looking like a daunting task, it was fairly easy and worth it for the bike of your dreams. To be honest, if not for the constant encouragement and support from Brian B., I may not have gone through with this.

Brian is a fellow Rider whom I have never met face to face. However, his willingness to answer my many questions, in addition to his encouragement,

convinced me to move forward. In hindsight, he was absolutely right. I would have been very disappointed had I not gone through with this as it truly is not as difficult a process as it may appear.

What follows next is the process which you must follow to Export a motorcycle from the US. Note that this is based on my experience. I am in no way an expert but hope that my experience will help those of you who might be considering bringing in a bike from the States.

STEP 1. Validate The Motorcycle’s Admissibility Into Canada • Before we get started, know that once you locate your dream bike, you will be Exporting from the United States and then Importing into Canada. These are two separate processes. https://www.riv.ca/VehicleAdmissibility.aspx STEP 2. Have fun and shop knowing what you can import into Canada.

STEP 3. Complete the AES filing online / Receive Your ITN # • To submit your information online, visit http://www.autoexports.us.

STEP 4: Submit Details To US Customs • For those of you exporting at the Queenston / Lewiston bridge, you must email your VIN # and ITN # to the Buffalo VINNY Office at buffalovinnyoffice@cdp.dhs.gov.

STEP 5: Export Your Motorcycle • For me, it took less than 20 minutes before a Customs Officer approached and asked me to read the VIN # located on my forks. After this, they returned all documents to me including the Title which they had stamped confirming that the motorcycle had been through US Customs. This completes the Export process.

I was now ready to proceed to Canada Customs. In my next article, I will share the process required to import your bike into Canada.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of you the very best for the Holiday Season and New Year. I hope that 2019 brings many new rides and adventures and I look forward to seeing all of you at the Motorcycle Show!!!!!

Until next time, why discourage when you can encourage!!

Ang C: 647-226-2921 angsan@sympatico.ca ang@angproblemsolved.ca WEBSITE: www.angproblemsolved.ca www.leftyandthegoons.com BLOG: http://angproblemsolved.ca/blog/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/angproblemsolved/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/sandowangie YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3CPlX8KgxAmFQNPv2Vz_0A/featured

S L A I C E SP

· · · ·

Tune ups Winter Maintenance Tires Ser vice

The Rider’s Mag - Page 17

By David Rusk

overrun.popandcrackle@gmail.com It’s a strange thing, writing about yourself. Picture a warm summer evening in 1972 and from out there under the glowing streetlights, a sound like no other beckons an eight year old boy to his bedroom window.

I knew what it was and as I peered outside a tachometer needle swept up my soul on it’s way into the red zone and then I saw him. A madman, complete with an open face gold metal flake helmet and a cape (!) well, it was a fake leather jacket, undone and flapping in the wind. I saw a cape. The sound of that first gen Kawasaki Z1 screaming through the night marked me and an inline four on the pipe still fills me with… what, exactly. It’s impossible to find a simple word for it, chills?, exhilaration?, or maybe love. Passion...yes. The wide eyed imaginings of a child corralled by the knowledge of an adult fills me up, every time. Thirty-eight years in for me now and even with a few of those annexed away from bikes, the passion has never waivered.

I started on a true beginners motor bike, a 400cc twin but man, did I ride the wheels off that Yamaha Seca. My childhood imagination came with me onto that first bike and then I was a road racing star, flashing through the hamlets and past the hedgerows on the Isle of Mann course, chasing Joey Dunlop. Faster and faster I rode until I was a mere bike length behind him and then, well then a delusional 16 year olds reality rudely black flagged my ass. My phantom rival Joey was waiting in the recovery room with a cuppa tea and his crooked smile, just like always. No, wait (!), oh no. That scruffy Irishman, wearing bug splattered black leather transformed into my Mother and was she pissed (!) and frightened, and pissed.

I soon outgrew that 400 and moved on to the 500cc grand prix race replicas of the late eighties. Those four cylinder two strokes began to teach me the respect I hold so high today but still, spectacular displays of mayhem and pain seemed to be my forte’, as I tried too hard to be fast. I mean, who takes a light switch RG500 out in monsoon like rains on purpose just to see how fast you can go. By then I had figured out that a gentle caress was what true speed wanted but with adolescent impulse, my hands and feet rushed clumsily for the win. Cue that dam marshall and his black flag.

A soft chime (ding) and rubber soles squeaked on gleaming linoleum as a figure walks past, dressed in pale blue scrubs.

“I almost caught you that time Joey but the back broke loose through that puddle and came around so fast that… well, the doctor says my shoulder should be ok” and reaching out with my working arm, “thanks for the tea, mate.” But instead of tea, he leaned forward and ran his hand through that trademark unruly black hair and spoke, “Aye, you were dead-on for the checkers up ‘til then.” But his thick northern accent melted into that menacing hiss only Mothers possess and then the doctor shimmered into existence too. “Another reckless kid on a donor-cycle”, his eyes seemed to say, glaring.

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him if I could still ride because man, they were both pissed! Dam you reality!

I suppose I had matured somewhat because by 1989 my 500 Gamma was still breathing through those wicked rotary disc’s and stupidly, I sold it. Don’t mistake, I had crashed multiple times but I was learning the secrets to staying alive and being fast, in between catching up with Joey in the emergency room. But now Fast Freddy, Lawson and Kenny Roberts were there arguing with him over the merits of coffee verses tea.

The lure of the road took a sharp turn after that and two wheels lost out to 18 and then 30 as I became a paid gypsy.

Leaving the eight hour shifts of a local factory for work days so long I sometimes saw two sun ups before stopping to sleep. I found myself driving 15,000 miles a month for next to nothing after expenses. Eating crap food and main lining coffee to stay awake with constant stress strangely mixed with endless hours of boredom. It was all moving my finish line closer with every dam mile that I drove. Although, I can boast of knowing that Climax, Ball Club, Clam Falls and Clappers are all in Minnesota and if its winter and raining in Chilliwack, the Coquihalla summit will be buried in snow. Being a truck driver is a shit life filled with danger that can wreck your body, destroy your home life and if you let it, melt your mind into slag. I loved it.

Not until 1997 did I buy another bike. I have a penchant for motorcycles that are unique and this one’s abilities and innovative technology put it at the head of the oddball class. Aficionados in the UK named it the Widow maker, although my first wife was already gone by then. Don’t marry the shooter girl from a dingy stripper bar in Winnipeg, just some friendly advice there and that’s for a different The Rider’s Mag - Page 18

kind of magazine.

Suzuki’s TL1000s was my first big V-twin experience and did I ever choose right ! A rip snortin’, fast revving monster able to unfortunately, outrun that innovative tech I mentioned. Aggressive rake and trail numbers and a funky rotary rear spring dampener could turn a taunt and brutish sport bike into a shaking and weaving death machine.

Four years later a very fast dip in the road over came that rotary dampener and let the rear spring free, setting in play a lovely 200 kph weave. We walked across the centerline to the outside dirt shoulder where the front tucked and faster then I could grunt, the right bar smashed my hand into the ground. Then into the forest we went.

An Aussie accent this time. “Don’t worry mate. I broke my leg so bad once, the doc had to sew it to the other one to pick up a blood supply. I was a bloody mermaid mate (!), I had to get a Sheila to help me… well, you know. No worries, you almost caught me.” Mick Doohan winked at me from the foot of the gurney as the pain in my hand flared and I drifted on a wave of morphine and black flags. The TL was dead, horribly. I loved it.

I sat on the bed as the doctor clamped what looked like linesman’s pliers on the pin poking out through my second metacarpal knuckle, one of three on the agenda. He yanked… hard and almost pulled me off the sheets.

I raised my brow at him, questioning and he frowned.

“Hmm” and he exhaled. Never good when the doctor is perplexed and with that, he braced a foot on the bedside and said “ I don’t think this will hurt.”

It was a ploy, the bastard and then in my moment of comprehension he snapped those pliers with a slight push and then…

POP! He was right but maybe hurt would’ve been better then the weird slithering sensation as 10 cm’s of titanium broke free and appeared out of my right hand, tugging at the skin around the hole. Interesting.

I waited until he was done and chanced my usual inquiry, “Will I be able to twist the throttle?” A flash of concern in his eyes but that strange doctor smiled back at me as Mick and the boys stood behind, roaring with laughter. That’d be a yes!

So, then it was off to the local shop where the RC51 waited for me. Honda has used the “ Racing Corporation” moniker since 1958 and under that racing only badge have created such craziness as an in line 6 cylinder 250 (!), the famous RC166. Check YouTube for these precision sewing machines and turn the volume up!

Compared to the competition the ’51 is overweight and without HRC’S unobtainable race kit, down on power but what it does have is that unique “oneness” that was the mantra of Soichiro Honda and his companies racing arm are masters of it. The sometimes flighty TLs taught me fast doesn’t need to be frantic and that torque is king, especially on the street but the RC51 is worlds beyond the Suzuki and is the embodiment of what Honda does. Powerful and raw enough to win and yet composed to the point of perfection. Telepathy between the rider, road and the machine.

I’ve learned that “sneaky fast” is just as fast as 15,000 screaming rpm, wholly shit there’s too much going on fast. It’s all about the torque and the Honda lays it down in an unbroken streak of rubber or if you prefer, an effortless wheelie but be ready on the back brake because those two huge pistons mean immediate reaction to the slightest throttle input. Turn the twist grip and the next piston stroke snaps your arms straight and lofts the front, all at 4000 rpm ! Brutal and immediate and I love it.

I’m well in to my 50’s now and still behind the wheel of a big truck although not on the open road anymore.

The trade off is a 2000 mile commute and half a year away from home. My wife still cries every time I go and vibrates with excitement when I drag my weary ass in the door. She loves me more then I could ever know.

Six years ago (our) her son broke his back racing MX and of course, I was away and she was alone at the race track with a paralyzed son. Stay tuned here for that tale.

Three years ago she supported my decision to buy another RC51 and even return to the track. She knows I am good, she knows I ride fast and she knows the horror held in potential, in a moment of time. After the anguish and suffering of Adams injury, she accepted the possibility of another tragedy because she knew riding is a part of me.

We kiss and before I pull the helmet on she awkwardly reaches around leather and armour and whispers in my ear. “Come back home David, don’t leave me alone.”

Lisa, I think of these things and a million thoughts race, a million emotions desperate to show you that I will.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 19

“You’re shitting me, right? You can’t even find the Post Office.” ************************************************** An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: “Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.”

“There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.”

The priest said, “That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.” “And what is that?” asked the priest.

“Should I tell her the war is over???” ***************************************************** John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith.

So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. > After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night..

‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.’

‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, ‘Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?’

‘Yes, I do.’ Said Keith.

‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’

‘Well, um, yes!,’ Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that I did.’

‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’

Keith’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.’ ‘Why do you ask?’

‘She just died and left me everything’ The Rider’s Mag - Page 20

• Why did the sperm cross the road? “Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.”

• What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? “Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.”

• What do you do if your wife starts smoking? “Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.”

• A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. “The doctor walks in: ‘Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” Patient: “I don’t understand, doc. Why?”Doctor: “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

• What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? “You get your palm red for free.”

• What does Trisha put behind her ears to attract men? “Her ankles.”

• I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

• I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

• What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAIIINNNNS!” • How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents • Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

• A communist joke isn’t funny… … unless everyone gets it.

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says mooooo!

• Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you, friend.

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, now hand over the cash.

• I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.” So I wrote back: “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

• A beautiful woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, “Do you have extra large condoms?” The pharmacist replies, “Yes, aisle 11.” The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, “Do you need some help?” The woman replies, “No, I’m just waiting for somebody to buy some.”

• The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. “We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,” she said, “Ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, “Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?”

• The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. “Please, you have to come right over,” pleaded the distraught young mother. “My child has swallowed a contraceptive.” The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again. “You don’t have to come over after all,” the woman said with a sigh of relief. “My husband just found another one.”

The Rider’s Mag - Page 21

Stop by our booth at the Motorcycle Supershow January 4th - 6th

• A man and a woman were feeling a little frisky, so they decided to sneak off into a dark forest. After finding a good spot, they started having sex. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn it, I really wish I had a flashlight!” The woman says, “I wish you did, too – you’ve been eating grass for the past 10 minutes!”

• Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”

• A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he says. “I’m going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.” The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs and comes back down with his suitcase packed as well. “Where do you think you going?” the wife asks. “I’m coming with you; I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!”

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

JAN 4-6, 2019 INTERNATIONAL CENTRE • TORONTO

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The Rider’s Mag - Page 23

December This astrology has been written in “Quin-trains” meaning there are five lines to the divination. The fifth line will reveal the answer to the other 4 lines.

There are 13 twisted spokes in creation of my wheel I use instead of the common 12.

Since this wheel is created this way, this allows the reader to approach the wheel in 2 ways. As each sign represents a spoke in the wheel, you can read either what your own spoke has to say or read what all the spokes have to say to share a visual to the whole picture. See how all the spokes complete your wheel. The 13th spoke is what I call the “Dath Spoke” It is the spoke that binds all other spokes together, so you can see exactly what wheel(s) you’re using for your ride. Consider it having extra rubber for extra mileage.

Aries: There’s nothing in the way you lack Now has become the time to arise the act Brothers and sisters leave you alone A solitaire’s journey now, to the bone A wait now over, noting to hold you back Taurus: The farther you sit, the further you stand If it’s not connecting, there is no band Don’t be broodiong because it’s not your way Open you mouth and have that say Calm blue waters may return, now a plan

Scorpio: Why so suddened by your tears You realize this is based on fears Time will tell, time will let you see The fates will set your heart free No more indugence for your ears.

Gemini: Imortant connections to be made and had A trusty steed to complete the journey glad A long awaited journey now on the move As it is right to suit your grove A knnight in shining armor you’ll see now mad

Capricorn: You’re in your element saying good-bye Forgiveness and forgetfulness are why Get ready for changes due to the seasons You have many lives to live, it’s these reasons As night falls deep, the sun awaits in the sky.

Cancer: The winddoes howl from distant shores Pushing you inwrds towards the moores A time of fate, desire and presence A fair trade of time due to pennance Be true as this is a test to all of your cores.

Leo: You will find what you have been searching for Funny thing is, that it wa never past your door If you look what is between and open The pages will reveal the treasures often In your scattered mess, you will also find more.

Virgo: The power is here, take it by the hand Your future counts on it, no more sand Yeild up high as Benjamin did The electricity has no longer hid All of this, years ago was planned.

Libra: All is fair in love and war and right Take your place amongst those of might In turn you will see what you deserve It’s in your blood, it’s in your nerve A simple gesture is all that’s needed tonight The Rider’s Mag - Page 24

Sagittarius: Keep your secrets to yourself these days Sharing them may make waves of ways If it an opinion that you seek to find Don’t ask a stranger, inside, they are not kind Let sadness pass and seek what love says

Aquarius: Keep the beast hidden and protected away If it escapes, all heaven and hell will pay There are reasons to fight this and be strong Not in this world or the next are you wrong Barred by light, kept by night, safe by day.

Pisces: There is a time for soltice in mind Separate yourself from others, be kind The secret worls withing your life Is to remove all kinds of strife Focus on one, not many, then you will find Dath Spoke: The round table of the council of the kings Justice, measurement, honesty and things A gathering of truth, honor and voice A place of the gathered by love and choice The words spoken, the voice heard, oh what brings.

The round table of the council of kings

Joe Hackett

May 15, 1941 – Dec. 4, 2018 Canadian Lancers M.C. Joe was a solid, well respected member of the motorcycle community, who loved his friends, family and his motorcycles. He lived a good life, full of adventures and good times and is the subkect or played a role in many stories that will be told and retold for years to come!

His presence and great spirt will be missed by all who had the pleasure to have known him!

GBNF – RIP – L&R

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December

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RIDE IN FOR THE CURE

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2019

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January This astrology has been written in “Quin-trains” meaning there are five lines to the divination. The fifth line will reveal the answer to the other 4 lines.

There are 13 twisted spokes in creation of my wheel I use instead of the common 12.

Since this wheel is created this way, this allows the reader to approach the wheel in 2 ways. As each sign represents a spoke in the wheel, you can read either what your own spoke has to say or read what all the spokes have to say to share a visual to the whole picture. See how all the spokes complete your wheel. The 13th spoke is what I call the “Dath Spoke” It is the spoke that binds all other spokes together, so you can see exactly what wheel(s) you’re using for your ride. Consider it having extra rubber for extra mileage.

Aries: As one comes, so as one leaves It is about the services that one believes To serve you must suffer, as to be born Of your path, a sense of life or being torn Either way, the cycle continues as the trees Taurus: You present yourself in your true guise Be proud of who you are, this is wise You will be seen in valor and blue Your mirror image emerges to be true All will see you in your light in your size

Scorpio: When you sit high, you don’t see below If this is how you want to be, it will show You’re important, this has to be agreed It is your temperament that needs to be freed As leader, this is the best knowledge to know

Gemini: Grab hold of the cup of cheer and love It has been given to you from above Take thyne sip and nectar thyne own soul For those that look upon you have given their toll Now set, even the Gods have sent you a dove

Capricorn: As you sit there waiting for some news Find something to do to avoid the blues Get out of your head at this place There’s nothing wrong, but the look on your face The ship is coming in if you choose.

Cancer: The winddoes howl from distant shores Pushing you inwrds towards the moores A time of fate, desire and presence A fair trade of time due to pennance Be true as this is a test to all of your cores.

Leo: Grab hold of the cup of cheer and love It has been given to you from above Take thyne sip and nectar thyne own soul For those that look upon you have given their toll Now set, even the Gods have sent you a dove Virgo: You stand on a mound protected by the strong The spirits guide you now for a song Nobility is at your beckon and feet It is this that others will meet At this point in your life, very little is wrong.

Libra: If you give it a poke, it will reply If anything, it is definitely not shy Like a bolt of lightening from the night What you’ll keep is a life time of light Here the magick begins, that’s why.

Sagittarius: If you’ve lost focus, it’s because of the clutter Not everything spread apart like butter Now as this is said, there are treasures for you It’s something already hunted, but true Go slow to find and aim, do not shutter.

Aquarius: Be very patient with those that are around You don’t want all to know how you sound You might be letting out your words and steam But this is the quickest way to wreck the team Not to worry, patience rewarded, loyalty found.

Pisces: Do not be sad or caught up in thought You don’t want your light to rot Find another avenue to follow through It will reveal the honest and new you After all, it is the life that you’ve brought.

Dath Spoke: Even more are gathered around the table No more words, no more than stable A loud voice gathered from all Feels like the truth shall not fall In history, this sounds like a fable

The Rider’s Mag - Page 31

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Milwaukee-Eight Oil Pump Issues: The Cure IV of IV In my opinion the M-8 suffers from emphysema and cannot breathe enough to rid itself of excess pressurized internal air every time the pistons descend in their respective cylinder bores. As a consequence, too much air churns throughout the engine picking up oil molecules to form an oilified, gaseous mixture. This is why H-D engineers utilized the sump (air space) above the transmission oil level attempting necessary venting relief.

The factory also increased oil pump geroter sizing to increase oil return as has the quality aftermarket versions from such venerable American companies like Feuling (www.feulingparts.com) and S&S (www.sscycle.com) However, they all base on the principle that oil will not compress in order to create pressurized oil volume flow.

Having said this, air does compress. This causes cavitation, limiting oil pump efficiency in removing oil. Thus, the problem gets worse, not allowing sufficient air to vent.

Some aftermarket oil pumps revert to a Twin Cam style dual port scavenge (return) oil pump to simultaneously evacuate oil from both the bottom end compartment and the timing chest. I think this will help but does not solve the excess air swirling around. The stock M-8 oil pumps have a timing chest single return port.

Harley is hamstrung with some easy but environmentally illegal cures. The existing vent line to the open sump space above the oil tank oil level will become an effective cure if venting the oil cap also as would venting the transmission, much like was done in the pre1977 4-speed transmissions. However, we are not allowed to vent gaseous vapors into the atmosphere. We must somehow contain or cleanse them.

Yes, returning to Twin Cam style breathers in each head would allow the engine to breathe (vent) but it would also allow oil to drip out of the breather with larger cubic inches and sustained high rpm riding. Of course, this is what causes the current M-8 sumping and engine braking with the current too restrictive breathing.

In my experience, Harley is really good at creating a new difficulty(s) after solving a current problem.

Finally, I have a legal solution that will meet EPA, CARB, and Euro 4 dictates, which means it will be environmentally friendly. Furthermore, it will also assuage another type of efficiency, which is power robbing combustion blowby past piston rings. The compression and ignition of gas and air must be contained above the piston rings and below the valve faces. Ideally we want the moving components of the engine like the piston packs, con rods and flywheels to be moving in an area that has clean oil and doesn’t have much air in it. Now, air does not make that much resistance but add some weight like oil mixing with the air and this works against engine movement. Too much and we have engine braking/slumping on the M-8 and oil blowby out the air breather on Twin Cam, Evo and late Shovelheads.

Both problems aggravates with extra cubic inches and high rpm riding in any gear. These are the same causes The Rider’s Mag - Page 38

for the Milwaukee-8 engine braking/sumping and the predecessor engines suffering oil blowby out the breather.

We want the oil to stay in liquid form for lubrication, oil pump pickup, and removal. Having oil floating around with air will not help any engine.

Maintaining a partial vacuum in the crankcase (less air) will show efficiency improvements on two fronts. First is piston ring and valve stem sealing helping to keep the compression where we want it and where it can make power, in the combustion chambers and cylinders.

New motors with fresh builds that have been properly broken in and run for several thousand miles can seem worn when they have excessive crankcase pressure. The pressure wreaks havoc on the piston ring/valve sealing robbing the engine of power and allowing combustion pollution to blowby into the heads and bottom end.

For the purpose of the M-8 problem at hand, a partial crankcase vacuum will also prevent engine braking/ slumping by preventing excess air from oilifying and thus allowing the largest H-D oil pumps to date to evacuate the return oil as designed.

I think this can be legally cured by a vacuum pump.

There are two types; electric and mechanical. I like the mechanical option as it will operate in tandem with engine rpm. It is important not to draw too much air or other problems will create. There is this potential with an electric pump as it is not tied to engine rpm.

The mechanical pump will rev up in air removal as rpm increase. Furthermore, it can run vacuum hoses to both the top end rocker boxes and the crankcase to pull air to create the desired negative pressure (vacuum).

There is the added advantage of removing particulates like moisture, acid vapors, gas vapors, and the gasses that blowby the piston rings. This prevents harmful vapor condensation and sludge buildup inside the engine.

At low engine rpm, the vacuum pump will be pulling very little vacuum while the motor will be making very little pressure, so its perfect. At high engine rpm, the vacuum pump will be pulling a lot of vacuum while the engine is producing a lot of pressure, so this will also be ideal. The linear harmony in a mechanical system removes the correct amount of air volume at the right rpm.

The mechanical vacuum pump can be powered off the engine sprocket like a supercharger or can be hidden under the fuel tanks powered off any rotating engine component. How much vacuum will be created is simply determined by the gear reduction ratio of the gears or pulleys, driving the vacuum unit.

The evacuated engine air will create positive crankcase ventilation (PVC). This air can be separated from oil with an expanded breather system outside of the engine before being directed into the electronic fuel injection (EFI) air box for re-ingestion into the combustion chambers.

The mechanic can remove the breather in each head or as I would prefer, simply open them up to allow proper venting but leave the oil separation mechanisms in place to create a two stage cleansing effort; the existing, modified breathers and the larger, more efficient system outside of the heads. The external breather oil separation

system can be hidden under the fuel tanks or exposed depending on rider taste. Many H-D riders like the effect of complicated mechanical gizmos exposed for all to see. However, the higher it is the more efficiency derives because gravity helps in separating heavier oil molecules from lighter air.

We simply use physics principles like gravity as well as foam/mesh scrubbing to perform a series of these functions.

Gravity will liquify heavier oil molecules as will sharp passage turns, and different metallurgy that is cooler. The outside breather(s) should be bigger and more elaborate than the smaller internal engine versions.

Combine a catch can for any separated oil and attach a drain line from its bottom into the top of the oil tank. A vent hose(s) from the top will direct air into the EFI breather for ingestion and re-burning inside the combustion chambers.

Keeping the crankcase pressures in check will not only help make more power by preventing combustion blowby leakage but will also deter premature parts wear and increase engine longevity. Nice … improved efficiency and life span, so this is one item design for a Milwaukee-Eight that while often over looked, really should be more of a priority for owners and shops.

Of course, the external vacuum pump and separation mechanism will also cure oil blowby out of the breather on Twin Cam and predecessor engines, as well.

Donny Petersen Www.donnypetersen.com Biker 101: The Life of Don

Riding South Africa They will Rob at Night and you will Beg to Die in the Morn

We rode out of Joburg into the wilderness, stopping in a colonial bar in a small frontier town, one of so many that dot the mountainous foothills. These establishments are a step back in time, languishing in these lethargic outposts, oblivious to the rest of the world. They opened for us early in the morning. Local girls soon arrived, hoping for a little excitement. I felt like I was in a frontier saloon in a western movie. The three dumb Canucks were the only unarmed people in this joint.

Drinking and riding here is the norm. The bikers we were riding with stopped many times during the day for a beer or three. I did not mind as the small towns were so interest-ing. We should have easily finished the ride during daylight but this was not to be.

The owner of one friendly saloon asked where I was headed?

“Durban,” said I. “Don’t go to Durban.”

“Why?” “You will become a victim.”

“We are all going to Durban. It will be fine. We are riding with a rough crew.”

They all had side arms. Their women had purse guns. They were expert at handgun use and not afraid to use them, if the need arose.

“Don’t go to Durban! Go north or south but don’t go to Durban.”

“Why?” “They will rob at night and you will beg to die in the morn.”

“Please explain. I don’t understand?”

“They will rob you, sexually torture you all night until you beg them to kill you in the morning.”

“Oh.” Said I. Leaving the neighborly and historically, quaint town, we rode higher up into the ar-id Drakensburg mountains The Rider’s Mag - Page 39

through winding roads. We made another stop off the highway at The Green Lantern, an old restaurant and way station near the top pass.

The dirt streets were graced with native Zulu women in colorful sarongs, effortlessly walking in a slow rhythm, balancing the night’s bundled firewood unassisted on their heads. Zulu battlefields are in this area where the English and the Dutch found this indom-itable warrior people easier to coexist with than fight.

We had lunch consisting of oxtail and gravy over maize with sweet potatoes and peas although ostrich neck was the advertised daily special. Maize, sustenance since biblical times is dried corn kernels complete with cob ground up and cooked with added water or milk.

Nearby, we made another stop to view the world’s smallest church. The church will only fit a thin Pastor and perhaps twelve small people on the six very short pews.

A local Boer (Dutch) settler couple wanted their daughter to have a church wedding. The brick church still stands ninety years later in perfect condition.

As we rode on, we admired herds of dozens of species of antelope roaming the Sa-vannah near the road. We almost hit a group of wild goats grazing near the center of the highway. The feeding animals avoided the deeper grasses that offered predators cover. We were learning not to take anything for granted. Ever watching, for wandering domestic and wild animals became part of our riding survival kit.

The descent from the mountain pass, another 200 miles from our destination, was winding. This became a fun and invigorating ride at 80 mph on a highway designed for speed.

I never ride in rural areas at night at home because of the danger of hitting deer. The last thing I would ever think of was to do this in Africa, where the situation of crossing animals is magnified many times; but here we were as the black, and I mean black African night descended rapidly at 6 pm with still ninety minutes of riding left. The corners now became dangerous at the speeds we were traveling but the local bikers relentlessly moved on.

We had no choice. What was worse, risking an accident or being potentially lost in the pitch-dark African outlands?

We rode into Durban after dark. The first neighborhoods had no streetlights. There were fires in barrels with people standing around them for warmth.

T-shirt weather for me is winter coat time for them.

Cigarette coals cast shadows in doorways. Crowds began to form and move towards the moving pack. The pack sped up, revving straight pipes to keep them at bay. This was not a good place to break down by yourself. I was well protected but these cities can be savage indeed.

Our new friends offered us a place to stay but we excitedly opted for an oceanside hotel where we could hear the unseen crashing waves of the Indian Ocean. Our night was adventurous but this is a story for Biker 101: The Life of Don.

Nature’s Rollercoaster The next morning, we rode north along the coast of the Indian Ocean, then turned inland to the officious border The Rider’s Mag - Page 40

of Swaziland. The guards extorted money from us before allowing us to continue. This was no place to fuck around as the Zulu Nation remained undefeated having fought the British to a standstill. The Zulus did this with spears and cowhide shields against British military prowess and guns. As a result, South Africa created two Zulu warrior countries as sovereign islands within; Lesotho to the south and Swaziland.

We entered the country but not before a guard snarled, “If I had my way, we would lock you in small cages and poke you with sharpened sticks!” I think he meant stabbing. In fact, I am sure of it. Reverse racism at its best.

As we rode, a No Fencing sign was posted. I started to look closely into the roadside rocky brush. Some fierce warthogs with their oversized tusks came into view trotting paral-lel to my bike. A proud but disinterested male lion lay amongst some rocks and grass close to the roadway. Then of course, the monkeys darted amongst the trees while more wart-hogs ran from the noise of our exhausts.

At Piggs Peak, we turned east to Bulembu along a fifteen mile treacherous dirt road called the Saddleback.

It cambers down from the center, drawing the bike down into soft red earth, flirting with the deep valley below.

Riding this road takes skill and confidence.

The vistas are spectacular but one must stop your bike to see them. Riding takes all one’s concentration and then some.

The only way to ride the Saddleback is to travel at a minimum 35 mph with 45 mph safer, but scarier. Riding it at all, takes steel nerves. The penalty for a single mistake is seri-ous injury or death in the valley below.

I finally got past the worst part. I stopped to wait for the others. An hour later, still waiting, I saw a vehicle’s dust in the distance. I hoped it was my two riding partners. An open Jeep came careening up. A woman wearing a sidearm with a pump shotgun at the ready, in a holster beside the gearshift glared at me like I was a fool.

“Are those two idiots back there with you?” She barked.

I felt like I was in a Harrison Ford adventure movie.

“Riding Harleys?” I asked.

“Are you guys crazy riding anything but a dirt bike on this road?”

“Evidently,” said I. “Get back there and drag their sorry asses onto their bikes and tell them to get mov-ing or else the cats will get them.”

“Cats?”

She rolled her eyes in frustration, “Did you not see the signs with cat paws on them?”

“Yes, I did.”

“And, what do you think that means Einstein?”

She can’t take any more of this. She jams her Jeep into gear and leaves me in a cloud of dust.

I rode back. I am irritated as the road is truly dangerous. I found them walking their bikes in gear.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?”

“The road is too dangerous.”

“Did you see the cat paw signs?”

“Yeah sure, so what?”

“There are big leopards in the jungle, waiting for easy prey. They are probably stalking us as we speak.”

They looked nervously into the dense foliage, got on their bikes, and followed me at speed. Riding the treacherous roadway was now the lesser of their fears.

Then, we traversed another twenty miles of dirt road along a mountainous ridge that we nicknamed Nature’s Roller Coaster, where riding mistakes are not a good idea.

The Swaziland-South Africa border closes at 4pm, when there is only two hours daylight left and reopens at sunrise; the roadway is much too dangerous to travel in the dark.

The border was in the middle of nowhere. The guards were shocked to see our big Harleys. We went through another officious ritual.

There was a poster on the board to report border guard corruption. We all laughed as we had been extorted at the border entering Swaziland. What else can you do?

W found the nearest town, now once we had reentered South Africa.

The Only Fear I Have is of my Wife

We walked from our hotel to a modern mall, near closing time. We made a quick purchase. We, then watched in wonder as protective, thick glass automatically came down everywhere followed by either bars or protective metal sheathing. Security stationed themselves beside the street people as they began their nightly takeover, while the workers and we walked to safety. This was all in a modern, clean, town in the middle of the lush beauty of the region Later as a local African left the compound, we jokingly advised him to be careful. He laughed and said, “The only fear I have is of my wife.”

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The Rider’s Mag - Page 41

Hello boys and girls! Old man winter is in full swing here south of the border! I’m willing to bet you have been visited by Jack Frost for quite a while up north! Not to worry, those motorcycles miss you as much as you miss them and will be ready and waiting come springtime!

I believe when I left you last month I had just stumbled upon a giant waterfall somewhere around Field B.C. Lets dive into that segment of my epic Canadian Rockies road trip.

So, there we were bright and early in the morning making coffee at the campsite and thinking about the days’ events.

We had no set plans other than finding the trail to Takakkaw Falls and continuing up the road to the next destination. As many of you fellow campers know it isn’t as simple as just finishing the morning brew and rolling out on 2 wheels. Nope, first, you must roll everything up and pack it neatly away in some 100 MPH windproof fashion.

After coffee and rolling up camp we ventured out and up to the waterfall. The road to Takakkaw has one extremely sharp turn in it that leaves a person wondering which part of the bike might drag the pavement on the way around. Also makes you wonder if the traffic coming down sees you going up!? We rolled around the tight little bend and up the long winding road to a parking area that was The Rider’s Mag - Page 42

rather crowded on such an early weekday morning. It didn’t take long to understand why. The trail was just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the parking area and led directly up to a thunderous river toppling over the mountains edge.

The spray from this massive 800-foot plunge reached out and showered us from roughly 100 feet away!

What a magnificent sight to see! It was only a few hours into our day and already Canada had taken our breath away, this seemed to be a theme as the trip rolled on every day brought a new and thrilling adventure!

A few hundred kilometers up the road we came barreling down the highway into the glacier filled ice fields. There must have been several dozen ancient hanging flows of ice nestled up on the mountainsides. The brightest of blues and the whitest of whites all decorating the rocky cliffs and peaks for our viewing pleasures! Mother Nature is an impressive woman.

Not only were the glaciers spectacular, but the aqua colored lakes at the bases of the mountains were perfectly positioned mirrors. The waters were smooth as glass and held detailed pictures of the mountains and sky’s above.

Somewhere heading up to those ice fields there was an oasis general store/gas station. Now I’ve always been a bit clumsy, but this day, in particular, I really got to show off my skills! I had gone in to find some snacks and came out to find Travis chatting up our parking lot neighbors.

I figured I’d do the honors of putting our road food in the Yetti on the back of the BMW. Well, I got the cooler unzipped just fine and everything tucked nicely inside when I discovered that the zipper didn’t quite close as easily as it opened. It took all of about 30 seconds of me playing the tug-o-war game with the Yetti before it slowly started tipping the entire, heavily loaded, vintage bike right over to the hard paved parking lot surface. Well Damn! As she was tipping I tried shouting for Travis to help as if he had some superhuman powers to magically keep the bike in mid-air on it’s way to the ground! Luckily absolutely nothing was wrong with the bike and all was well after a few onlookers helped get the old girl back on her feet.

Just a classic example of why I’m a big fan of crash bars and engine guards on motorcycles.

The following section of road from the ice fields to Jasper can only properly be described as rolling into the fires of hell. You see, I bought an Indian Chieftain last year and I just love the damn thing, but, you can’t comfortably ride it if it is passed the 70-degree mark outside. This damn thing heats up and tries to melt the flesh right off your bones! We were several kilometers out of Jasper when the temps started rising and the bike felt like riding a blazing saddle down the highway.

Needless to say, Jasper became our home for the night. As luck would have it we got the last available room at the only hotel with a vacancy sign. Those of you who read last months article might be noticing a pattern with us finding accommodations each night.

Jasper turned into a fun time, plenty of bars and shops to keep tourists occupied. We had a great meal and some local brews then hit up an outdoor shop for some camping gear and an extremely pricy set of pajamas. I am now the proud owner of a purple and pink patterned long underwear set that is referred to as my wine woman costume. Mostly due to its colors but partly due to the fact I filled my Yetti with wine and wore my new jammies for a stroll down the beach one night on Vancouver Island. Never a dull moment with me around!

Let’s say tata for now and continue on with more of this adventure next month.

Thanks for following along!

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I would like to take the first opportunity I can to thank Critter and his crew for all of the hard work and dedication it has taken The Riders Mag team to keep this magazine as cheap as they possibly could for the people it matters to most, the riding community. The investment in time, capital, organization and communication is truly monumental, all to ensure the best group of people in the world, Canadian Bikers, get a quality, informative magazine. Thanks again Critter! With the riding season over for a while now, I find myself struggling to know where to start. Pictures of some of this summer’s rides, possibly visits with friends or pictures of some of custom built bikes I love to look at over and over again. One thing is for sure, there isn’t enough room in this magazine to talk about all of the great people we got to ride and spend time with this season. So with this being said, I would like to thank one of Southern Alberta’s greatest riding organizations, The Southern Alberta Motorcycle Coalition. This organization formed around the clubs of Southern Alberta, has truly offered local riders a scheduled list of motorcycle related functions most every weekend. From swap meets, cannonball runs, to rodeos, we have it all. Here, we are supported by a respectful environment, surrounded by some of the most knowledgeable, caring, giving stand up riders around. The camaraderie and brotherhood have been second to none as the clubs flourish and the coalition continues to grow attracting and educating more and more all the time. Sticking together as a biking community has never been more important in my view looking out over all of the political uncertainty we see in the world today. If you are interested in following along, ask one of the club members when you see them out there. We are proud of what we have happening here and support for the local clubs always means support for some important local charities and not just a cash grab for ambulance chasing charity wana bees that hand out far too little for what is gleaned in, claiming to be for the riders to grow their numbers using these donated funds in less than ethical ways. Look closely, you will see the truth so come put your faith in the tried, tested and true leaders in the riding community, your local club! Some of the important charities off the top of my head dedicated to making a difference are like the Magic of Christmas Charity, The Veterans food bank, The Bluffton Rock ride to name but a few. Looking forward to some of the great events also coming up that we like to support are the Civil Disobedience Rally to help stand up for our rights, Two Wheel Sunday, The Ride For Sight, The Ride for Dad raising awareness for prostate cancer, Emily’s Ride, The Calgary Motorcycle show coming up in the beginning of January. As you can see, the list goes on and on with something at each for everyone. Speaking of supporters, this reminds me some long time participants of the biking community and The Riders Mag. This is none other than the good people over at Eagle Rider Motorcycle rentals in Calgary, Bill and Marion Redpath. I was talking with Marion recently and she quickly agreed to send me an update and an article submission. Even though they are busier than ever, this update proves they know how to fit in some riding into a busy summer.

Ride Your Own Bike from Ontario to Alberta or Fly out and Rent your Ride Recently, my brother and his wife along with another couple rode their Harley Davidson Ultras from southwestern Ontario to Alberta.

Friends of ours, also from southwestern Ontario, rode their Ultra out to visit their daughter in Castlegar, BC this summer. Listening to their experiences got me thinking about the pros and cons of riding your own bike or flying and renting a ride.

My brother and his group headed south into Michigan and worked their way up through the Upper Peninsula, across through Wisconsin and Minnesota and up to Winnipeg and across through Saskatchewan to Alberta. Our friends did the ride through northern Ontario and across the Trans-Canada highway through Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

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The pros of riding your own bike include: the opportunity to experience the beauty of Northern Ontario and other Canadian provinces, namely, Manitoba and Saskatchewan or more of the northern States; having the comfort level of riding your own bike; and no rental fees for a motorcycle.

The cons of riding your own bike include: time spent getting out West and back – depending on how hard you want to ride, it can take up to 3 days just to get out of Ontario; wear and tear on your body and your bike; and finally, riding through some pretty flat, boring sections with strong winds (I know there are some scenic roads in Saskatchewan and Manitoba and the northern States but in my opinion, the Trans-Canada is not one of them).

In terms of financial comparison, it’s a matter of comparing the cost of your fuel, meals and lodging to ride your own bike with the cost of a flight and motorcycle rental fees.

For some it’s a bucket list item to ride across Canada. In my brother’s case, he’s marked that one off his list and doesn’t plan to do it again.

About the writer: Marion Redpath and her husband Bill, own and operate EagleRider Motorcycle Rentals in Calgary and have been riding Harleys for 30 plus years.

Well, definitely something to keep on our bucket lists for sure, thanks again Marion. Well, to wrap this up, I would like once again to ask everyone to do their part in keeping The Riders Mag as cheap as we possibly can for the people that matter the most, you the readers and the riders of Canada Please support this magazines advertisers as they help to keep this magazine coming us the readers. Of course, please be sure to reach out to and support your local clubs, Charity’s and riding events. Until next time everyone, speed and take chances!

Dan. T.

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Whether you are reading this before or after January 1st 2019, I want to wish all my readers and supporters of The Riders Mag a Merry Xmas & Happy New Year because we made it through one more year and we couldn’t have done it without your support of the Mag and what we stand for.

Thank You! Riding season may have come to an end but the determination of motorcycle riders to continue to participate in their local community has grown over the years in a big way.

I remember when back about 40 yrs ago Toronto got its first motorcycle show and people came from all over Ontario, with some traveling hundreds of miles! If just to break up the winter blues! It felt good to be around fellow riders and enjoying shopping at vendors booths and admiring the imagination of the builders who had some of their motorcycles on display. In the years since, things have changed considerably!

These days motorcycle clubs are active year round in all kinds of seasonal charities and events! During the winter many direct their energy at helping groups like the homeless, children or animals! It is impressive the number of clubs that are building floats and participating in the local Santa Parades that take place in the community they live in! It reminds the public that we are regular people just like them and while we can’t ride this time of year, we can still be among our brothers and sisters to socialize until it is “kickstands up” season once again.

Late November and December are a hectic time of year for me, and between charity events and Xmas Dinners hosted by local motorcycle and riding clubs that I am invited to! It is impossible to get to them all but I try.

The holiday season started off with the 2nd Annual Xmas

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Is Going To The Dogs Gift & Craft Show for Bikers hosted

by The Celtic Brotherhood! Here vendors and artists who feel they have items that someone looking for a gift for a biker might find the perfect gift! This event is catching on and the show featured everything from leather goods to fashion items and jewelry made from chainmail and a vendor with an incredible line of knives, swords and other shiny stuff that bikers seem to be drawn to.

Another booth had Xmas decorations created by Janet McGee with stuff like black Xmas wreaths decorated with skulls and others that looked like the Grinch as well as Xmas tree ornaments hand painted with skulls and Grinch

faces.

One couple call their business Hollywood! Norm & Cher create items made from recycled clothing along with handmade tie dye and batik t-shirts and patches emblazoned with skulls. Norm retired from the military recently and now he and Cher are letting their freak out and designing clothing and jewelry for people to enjoy.

Besides the vendors, clubs like BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) and The Celtic Brotherhood had information and support booths to promote their clubs and their efforts to make a positive difference in the communities they live in.

Randy Chartrand from the Canadian Veteran Service Dog Unit was selling an item he designed and created! Randy also brought in a couple of service dogs for the public to meet and to ask any questions they had about the important and life saving work these dogs do.

TCB would like me to thank Grant Harrision who, on his

own went to the local business community to ask them to put up posters for the show. In doing so, he got the support of our local Princess Auto, who kindly donated some items to be used for the door prizes! We and thank them because it is businesses like them that help TCB promote brain injury awareness and their dog rescue.

Special thanks also go out to Shawn at Platinum Tattoo & Cameron at Liquid Ink Tattoo because on really short notice the club contacted many of the local tattoo shops to see if they might donate a gift certificate and these shops were not only kind enough to respond they also were more than happy to support brain Injury awareness on such short notice.

Every year I try not to miss the Capital City Bikers Church Christmas Party! Just imagine celebrating the true Spirit of the Season not only with your friends but also with about 300 other members of the Ottawa and area motorcycle community! It was complete with roast turkey and all the fixings including homemade apple pie with real cream. Awesome is the only word to describe it! Much thanks to all the hard work and effort of Hillbilly and Nelia, Pastor Rob, and the volunteers, members and supporters of the CCBC! It was a great time.

While I am on the subject I would like to send out a special “thank you” to Hillbilly’s wife, the lovely Nelia who if the truth be known is the incredible glue that holds the bikers church together and she is considered by those bikers who know her as a truly awesome lady.

The church graciously reserved tables for some of the clubs they knew would be attending and there is something pretty powerful about looking out onto the floor and seeing so many different patches and bikers all together enjoying each other’s company along with the music of good friend Blair Gardiner and the Indelible Shameless Blues Band! While they have always been a popular group in the Ottawa area I heard a number of people mention the boys sounded even better this night and I would have to say I agree because there were lots of toes tapping! Later after the meal, people gathered on the dance floor and even in the aisles tying to work off some of those calories they gained with the meal.

This year along with some of my TCB brothers and their wives we were honored have Duane Chevalier and Jeff Landry from the Simple Men MC as our guests and with them our good friends Kerry Anderson and his new bride, Joanne Swartz! Bette and I were thrilled to participate in their wedding this past August.

Nearby were the tables for the brothers and sisters of BACA MC (Bikers Against Child Abuse), ARM MC (Association The Rider’s Mag - Page 47

of Recovering Motorcyclists) of whom Blair Gardiners in President of the Ottawa chapter and not far away tables for the Last Disciples MC. I would also like to thank my wife Bette or as I affectionately call her “She who must be obeyed!” for getting into the Xmas spirit like she does and a week before the event she hand-sewn battery operated Xmas lights onto elf hats and made a Santa t-shirt for me to wear so that we could really get people into the mood and it worked. I stopped by some tables and wished everyone the very best of the Yuletide Season from myself, The Riders Mag and The Celtic Brotherhood.

Towards the end of the evening people began going over to an area the church had set aside for people to take group or couples photographs and I found myself not only with the TCB, but with good friends like Bonez aka Lewey Szanyi from ARM MC, Jim Poulin, who puts on the Greely Motorcycle Swap Meet and is now a hangaround for the Last Disciples as well as the first pictures of two brothers who are patched into the TCB, TeeTee and Thumper. There are so many people I would like to thank who came out for the CCBC Xmas Supper because of you we all were truly “Family”.

One other event that took place at the church almost a week before was Hillbilly aka Garner Foster giving his Testimony of his life and what brought him to wanting to create a church dedicated to the biker community and during the testimony I was in good company with two other “Legends” as Grinder Maloney refers to us, Merlin & Don Flinn and after the event was over we couldn’t help but remark among the three of the many similarities in our collective pasts.

Anyhow that’s all for now for this issue and I look forward to seeing many of you next year and hopefully maybe even at the Motorcycle Supershow in January.

As always I remind all of you to please support the

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rides/events that are created by the clubs in your area because they are the same people that will come out and support your rides/events and also please remember to show your support for the businesses and organizations that advertise in our Mag and who have shown their support for our lifestyle because they deserve our support back.

If you have an event/ride or a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertise in The Riders Mag and perhaps become a distributor and if so can contact me at the email address below.

Everyone please remember that we make our biker and motorcycle communities stronger by making them better..

Brotherhood Motorcyco Beau Twitter: @motorcycobeau Instagram�: motorcyco_beau

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& Motorcycle Tours

The Rider’s Mag - Page 51

Authentic Custom Cycle 310 Main St. N. Markham, ON L3P 1Z1 authenticltd.com 905-471-3021

Eagle Eye Custom Cycles

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A.M.P. Cycle

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1221 Sundowner Rd. Midland, ON L4R 4K4 ampcycle.ca 705-526-7500

PD Restoration

Hawg Worx

9 Ferndale Dr. North Barrie, ON L4N 9V3 705-503-5343

4192 Perkins Road London, ON pdrestoration.ca 519-652-6200

Tar’d and Feather’d Bar

Action Trailers

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4728 Egremont Dr. Strathroy, ON actiontrailers.ca 519-245-8802

Fred Hale Motors

Hog Town Cycles

29945 Highway 48 Pefferlaw, ON strictlyvtwin.com 705-437-2291

164 Main Street Lucan, ON hogtowncycles.ca 519-227-1331

DG Custom Cycle 51999 College Line Aylmer, ON dgcustomcycle.com 519-773-3735

Sprucedale Hotel

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Classy Chassis

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Whip’s Performance Cycle

535 Vidal St. S., #3 Sarnia, ON whipsperformancecycle.ca 519-339-0003

Recycled Gear 96 Queen Street Lindsay, ON recycledgear.ca 705-320-7777

The Rider’s Mag - Page 52

Scotty’s Cycle Shoppe

133 Head Street South Strathroy, ON scottyscycleshoppe.ca 519-245-4205

Easy Acre Machines

23983 Melbourne Rd. Strathroy, ON N7G 3H4 519-289-1755

1501 Hopkins St. Whitby, ON L1N 2C2 eagleeyecustomcycles.com 905-665-7400

Spoiled Sports Motorcycles

1898 Baseline Rd. W. Bowmanville, ON L1C 3K3 spoiledsports.com 905-436-6487

Fred Hale Motors 29945 Highway 48 Pefferlaw, ON strictlyvtwin.com 705-437-2291

K&P Auto & Marine Electric

160 Pony Dr. #8 Newmarket, ON kpautoelectric.com 905-895-5832

Leonard Hochberg Trial Lawyer 1235 Bay Street Toronto, ON 416-524-8321

Mario’s Bake Shop 13305 Hwy. 27 Nobleton, ON mariosbakeshop.ca 905-859-2253

Mazin & Associates

5 Park Home Ave #120 North York, ON mazininjurylawyers.com (416) 625-2122

Aviation Motorsports

Len’s Automotive

Leather Unlimited

Hastings Starter Alternator

848 Lakeshore Rd. E. Mississauga, ON L5E 1E1 aviationmotorsports.ca 416-477-7089 1981 Boylen Rd., #10 Mississauga, ON 905-671-0037

Lord’s Ink

9699 Jane Street, #18 Vaughan, ON L6A 3X5 lordsinktattoo.com 416-855-2600

Terez Leather

3333 Lakeshore Blvd. W. Etobicoke, ON terezleather.com 416-255-1976

A M Sales

8540 Keele St. Vaughan, ON amsalestoronto.com 416-663-3382

2002 Main St. Jarvis, ON N0A 1J0 lensauto.ca 519-587-5041

19 King St. E. Hagersville, ON N0A 1H0 hastingsstarter.ca 905-768-7688

The Back 40

7 Cayuga St. N. Cayuga, ON N0A 1E0 theback40cayuga.ca 905-772-7275

Trails End Lodge 60 Elgin St. Tobermory, ON Summer(April-Oct) 519-596-2249 Cell: Year Round 416-876-3452 www.trailsendlodge.com

Flowers by Ms. Design 5 Francis St. E. Creemore, ON 10 am - 4 pm 705-466-1131

Leather Works Plus 149 Lorne St. Sudbury, ON leatherworksplus.com 705-674-5757

Signatures Restaurant 3702 Hwy. 144 Chelmsford, ON signaturesrestaurant.ca 705-855-9021

The Beausejour Inn & Restaurant 1527 ON-64 #1 Alban, ON thebeauinn.com 705-857-2193

Lavigne Tavern

10521 Hwy. 64 Lavigne, ON Lavignetavern.com 705-594-2301

Duke’s Harley-Davidson

A.L. Choppers 1119 Main St. E. Hamilton, ON alchoppers.com 905-545-5139

Metal N Ink Tattoo Studio 189 King St. E. Hamilton, ON metal-n-ink.ca 905-524-1745

Franks Magic Crops 480 Guelph Line Burlington, ON 905-333-3282

Motorcycle Enhancements

427 Speers Rd., Unit 9 Oakville, ON 905-842-2123

Classic Motorcycle Leathers & Accessories 1813 King St. E. Hamilton, ON 905-312-1324

Smiley & Co.

5 Classic Car Drive Blenheim, ON N0P 1A0 dukeshd.com 519-354-0650

2549 6th Concession Ripley, ON N0G 2R0 519-832-7232

Leather King

J & R Cycle

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Colchester Bar & Grill 67 County Rd. 50 W. Harrow, ON N0R 1G0 519-738-6198

8166 Hwy. 26 Stayner, ON JandRcycle.ca

Trixie’s Saloon 529 Louisa St. Ayton, ON trixiessaloon.com 519-665-7595

HIPS Cycle

Zelikovitz Leathers

Bridge 12 Pub & Eatery

Union Street Bar

900 Colborne St. E. Brantford, ON hipscycle.ca 519-756-6218

10 River Rd. Port Robinson, ON 905-384-1967

Quinns Custom Motorcycles 22 Hellems Ave. Welland, ON 289-820-7954

Triple K Upholstery 432 Pearson Rd. Welland, ON triplekupholstery.com 905-735-7216

The S-Bend Restaurant 5801 Hwy. 3 Sherkston, ON sbend.ca 905-894-4072

Task Performance

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7 Union St. Smiths Falls, ON 613-205-1632

Players Sports Bar 140 Lombard St. Smiths Falls, ON 613-283-8886

Milano Pizzeria 14 Main St. E. Smiths Falls, ON 613-283-3333

B.A. Machine 7174 Bank St. Metcalfe, ON bamachine.ca 613-821-9090

Paysan Family Restaurant

7616 Mud Street Grassie, ON taskperformance.ca 905-945-5372

4520 Rue Principale, Saint-Antoine, NB E4V 1R1 506-525-2464

Tons of Bike Gear

Carter’s Customs

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Meetz Small Engine

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Jack’s Oasis

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8 Gordon Rd. Miramichi, NB E1N 3A5 506-773-9565

7684 Rt. 116 Bass River, NB E4T 1L9 506-785-6660 The Rider’s Mag - Page 53

A.M.P. Arizona Outback Authentic Custom Cycles B.A. Machine Bacchus M.C. Bobcaygeon Bikefest Bike Lawyer Bond Slave M.C. Canadian Gears CJ Cycles Clares H.D. Classic Motorcycle Leathers Classy Chassis & Cycles Dukes H-D Eagle Rider Easy Acres Machines Franks Magic Crops Fred Hale Motors Hawg Worx Hips Cycle Hog Town Highway of Heroes Inkuisition Jennies Leathers Leather King Larry Shirk

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Mackesy Smye Marcy Flowers By Design Mazin & Associates Meetz Small Engines Metal ‘N’ Ink Mikes Upholstery Mostly Iron Heads Motorcycle Enhancements Motorcycle Supershow Mylar and Loretas Restaurant N.C.K. Cycle Noura’s Pace Law P.D. Restoration Plastix Fantastix Pushrod Performance R.N.R. Riders Recycled Gear Robinson Motorcycle Smiley & Co. The S-Bend Tombstones Traditional Motorcycle Wiesner Insurance Zuber & Co

Back Cover Pg. 36 Pg. 3 Pg. 41 Pg. 23 Pg. 34 Pg. 32 Pg. 17 Inside Back Cover Pg. 12 Pg. 36 Pg. 50 Inside Front Cover Pg. 33 Pg. 32 Pg. 36 Pg. 43 Pg. 33 Pg. 37 Pg. 50 Pg. 36 Pg. 45 Pg. 13 Pg. 45 Pg. 12 Pg. 4

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PRESENTED BY

JAN 4-6, 2019 • INTERNATIONAL CENTRE • TORONTO FRIDAY JANUARY 4: 12PM - 9PM • SATURDAY JANUARY 5: 10AM - 9PM • SUNDAY JANUARY 6: 10AM - 5PM J 2019 NEW MOTORCYCLE DISPLAYS J HOT SHOPPING DEALS J MANUFACTURER & DEALER DISPLAYS J 500 EXHIBITORS SPAN OVER 7 HALLS J PARTS AND ACCESSORIES FOR SALE

J MEET INDUSTRY CELEBRITIES J 100 CLUBS, RIDES & RALLIES J CANADA CUP CUSTOM COMPETITION J GIANT USED BIKE MARKET J CENTURY OF MOTORCYCLES EXHIBITION

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