The Strand | Vol. 65, Issue 9

Stop! Look! And Vaccinate

A look at the Gardasil-9 HPV vaccine

minutes.

If you’re a Toronto commuter, chances are you’ve been seeing the Gardasil-9 advertisements on your daily travels. Young adults raised in Ontario may be looking at these posters thinking, “Hey, I got that in middle school!” In fact, roughly 60 percent of seventh grade children in Ontario have received a full course of a Human Papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine.

What is HPV and its vaccination?

HPV is a viral infection that can be the cause of certain wart clusters and cancers. The most common cancers associated with an HPV infection include cervical, anal, penile, vaginal, vulval, and throat cancer. In some patients, cervical cancer can develop over 20 years after the initial infection. HPV spreads through skin-to-skin and sexual contact as well as in the womb. Vaccinations against HPV help protect against the spread of the virus, lowering your risk of associated cancers.

Roughly 75 percent of sexually active Canadians will contract an HPV infection in their lifetime, and most who do won’t know it. In fact, estimates suggest that one Canadian develops genital warts every ten

All seventh grade students in Ontario are eligible to receive the HPV vaccine for free while at school with the written consent of their parents. Those who missed the complete series can receive the vaccine for free at their Public Health Unit until their high school graduation.

Students like me, who were vaccinated before 2015, likely received the original Gardasil vaccine. This version of the vaccine covered HPV types 6, 11, 16, and 18, while Gardasil-9 covers these as well as types 31, 33, 45, 52, and 58. The new vaccine covers a total of nine strains of HPV and prevents 90 percent of genital warts. If already infected with one kind of genital warts, the vaccine will help protect you against the remaining eight.

How vaccination works

If you decide to get vaccinated with the Gardasil-9 vaccine, speak with a healthcare professional to determine whether it is right for you. Ideally, you will receive your second dose two months after your first dose and then your third dose four months after your

second. Some side effects of the vaccine are typical and include discomfort at the site of the infection as well as headache, fever, nausea, and dizziness.

In Ontario, self-identified men who have sex with men and are under the age of 26 are eligible for all three doses of the vaccine for free at public health clinics or through their primary care provider. Other members of the population may be eligible for up to full coverage of the vaccine through their private health insurance. Otherwise, vaccines cost approximately $215 per dose, or $645 for the full series.

Ontario expands One Stop Talk service and Youth Wellness Hubs

How the province is responding to widespread need for mental health services

skills group. Walk-in services are available both inperson and virtually for mental health counselling, primary care, navigation, and employment and housing support. Therapists specifically for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people are also available.

implemented over the course of ten years, though no updates have been added since early 2021.

Services mentioned in this article, as well as additional community supports, can be accessed via the links below:

One Stop Talk is a virtual walk-in program for children, youth, and families seeking low-barrier access to mental healthcare. The program started in November 2022 with six participating mental health organisations, and the province is now investing $4.75 million to expand it.

The program aims to make it “easier and more convenient for children and youth across the province to access mental healthcare,” offering “modern, convenient options,” according to Sylvia Jones, Ontario’s Deputy Premier and Minister of Health. The service offers phone, video, text, and chat options, although the website only shows the online chat button and phone number. Counselling is available without an appointment from 12-8 pm Monday to Friday and 12-4 pm on Saturdays for single-session support and referral to additional services.

The provincial government also plans to expand the number of Youth Wellness Hubs from 14 to 22 across the province. The hubs are a ‘one-stop shop’ for a range of services including mental health, substance use, vocational, and housing support for youth ages 1225. Youth Wellness Hubs Ontario (YWHO) is led by Dr. Joanna Henderson from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) and is supported by the CAMH Foundation, the Graham Boeckh Foundation, as well as government funds and private donors. Individual hubs work with local stakeholders to provide the right resources to their communities.

The Central Toronto YWHO location is near Yonge and Eglinton and offers a variety of services. The studio offers weekly events such as harm reduction drop-ins and 2SLGBTQ+ exclusive nights, as well as a closed peer support and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy

The new hubs are funded by Ontario’s Addictions Recovery Fund, which launched in 2022. Two years earlier, the province released its Roadmap to Wellness Plan, which aims to improve the province’s mental health and addictions system and funds the One Stop Talk service.

The need for mental health services is a growing crisis across the province and the country, with many pointing to the pandemic as a cause of both increased demand and decreased health care resources available. Just last month, then-Toronto mayor John Tory called for a national summit to address this, stating that “when the federal and provincial governments don’t fully and adequately fund mental health care, the responsibility is offloaded to ill-equipped municipalities across Canada.” Data from 2020 to 2021, showed Canadians waiting months to book a single mental health appointment. In 2020, there was an increase in overdose deaths and substance-related harm due to an increase in mental health and substance use challenges, combined with gaps in care created by the pandemic response.

Some remain sceptical about the Roadmap to Wellness plan. The plan focuses on improving fast and convenient access to counselling services to address the long wait times many are experiencing. However, the focus on internet-based counselling and short-term therapy (patients seeking psychotherapy for depression or anxiety may qualify for 12-16 weeks of cognitive behavioural therapy) raises some concerns for those who require more long-term support.

The government’s Roadmap to Wellness website includes a timeline for strategy implementation beginning in 2020, with highlights including the new Mental Health and Addictions Centre of Excellence and the launch and expansion of the Structured Psychotherapy Program. The roadmap is meant to be

One Stop Talk

www.onestoptalk.ca

855-416-8255/TALK

Toronto Youth Wellness Hub

www.youthhubs.ca/en/sites/central-toronto

40 Orchard View Blvd

416-482-0081 ext. 5 ywho@lumenus.ca

Strides Toronto

www.stridestoronto.ca

416-438-3697

416-321-5464 contactus@stridestoronto.ca

Across Boundaries

www.acrossboundaries.ca/ 416-787-3007 ext. 222

Family Services Toronto www.familyservicetoronto.org

416-595-9618

Gerstein Crisis Centre www.gersteincentre.org

416-929-5200

LGBT Youth Line

www.youthline.ca

1-800-268-9688

Text: 647-694-4275

Anishnawbe Health Toronto www.aht.ca

179 Gerrard St E

416-920-2605

MAX LEES NEWS EDITOR

PHOTO | REACH OUT CENTRE FOR KIDS

PHOTO | IMMUNIZE.CA

High profile acts of violence on TTC create fear among riders

Increased police presence causes mixed reactions

HUTZUL STAFF WRITER

In late January, a series of violent incidents on the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) system occurred in quick succession. On January 23, a woman was pushed down the stairs and robbed at Broadview Station. The next day, another woman was stabbed on a Spadina streetcar, leaving her with life-altering injuries.

On the 25, John Di Nino, president of the Amalgamated Transit Union said that violence on the TTC had reached “crisis levels.” That same day, a 16-year-old boy was stabbed at Old Mill Station, and two TTC workers were chased through Dundas Station.

The TTC is an essential part of life for many Torontonians. In 2020, commuters took over 1.3 million daily trips on it. The University of Toronto is no exception, with a high number of commuter students, and even some living on campus using the TTC to get around.

An increasing fear of violence has shaped the frequency students use transit. First-year Vic student Julia Buczynski told The Strand she has been trying to avoid riding the TTC whenever possible, however she describes it as “an essential part of getting around the

city, especially in colder months.”

Rima El Zein, a commuter student, has no choice but to use transit. She told The Strand, “I always feel paranoid when I’m on the subway, and I can tell everyone around me does too.” Long commutes have become even more unpleasant with a growing culture of fear on the TTC.

On January 26, Toronto’s police department announced that they were increasing their presence on the TTC, with over 80 police officers set to patrol the transit system every day. According to Police Chief Myron Demkiw, this is an attempt to prevent “crimes of opportunity,” where the criminal acts are not premeditated. Additionally, the TTC pledged to add more security cameras, as well as outreach workers, supervisors, and uniformed employees.

Premier Doug Ford’s response to the increased security measures was to push for more policing. He described the increase in police officers as a “band-aid solution” and called on the City of Toronto to hire more full-time police officers instead of increasing paid overtime for existing ones.

While some are relieved by an increased police presence, there is no consensus. According to Shelagh Pizey-Allen, the director of the advocacy group TTCriders, Black and Indigenous transit users are

overrepresented in enforcement actions, and thus “expanding policing is actually going to make some people less safe and also won’t tackle the root of the problem.”

There has been much discussion surrounding the causes of increased violence, but some point to the increase in mental health problems and homelessness caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. A January report from Rick Leary, the TTC’s CEO, indicates that levels of violence peaked in early 2020 but have yet to decline to pre-pandemic levels.

While the increases in police presence are intended to make TTC riders feel safer, some are still sceptical. Rima feels like they are a short-term solution to the recent violence. According to her, “these instances aren’t happening out of mere coincidence, and the city of Toronto needs to do more for its people—whether that’s students like me or more vulnerable groups.”

Toronto mayor John Tory announces resignation

In the meantime, Deputy Mayor Jennifer McKelvie will fill the position.

Previously, the city would appoint a new mayor instead of holding an election, but the strong mayor powers introduced by Ford’s government require an election. In September 2022, Ontario passed Bill 3, which changes the powers of mayors in Toronto and Ottawa. This allows mayors to veto council decisions, hire and dismiss senior staff, and have more control over the city budget. In December 2022, this was extended with Bill 39, allowing mayors to pass bylaws with only one third of councillors in favour.

On Friday, February 10, Toronto mayor John Tory announced his resignation from office. Earlier the same day, the Toronto Star broke news of his relationship with a former member of his staff. The 31-year-old woman has not yet provided comment, but Tory admitted that “permitting this relationship to develop was a serious error in judgement on my part.”

Upon reception of a formal resignation, the city council is set to declare the mayor’s seat vacant. This could happen as soon as Wednesday, February 15, when the councillors will discuss the 2023 budget. Once the seat is declared vacant, the city must pass a bylaw to hold a byelection within 60 days, according to the City of Toronto Act. The city clerk will then set a date for candidates to file nominations, and the election will take place 45 days after nomination day.

Tory’s resignation raises questions about the city’s budget, which has not yet been approved. His plan had received criticism from the public for proposing an increase in property taxes, as well as increasing the police budget. The 5.5 percent increase in property taxes, as well as a 1.5 percent increase in the city building fund, is intended to sustain frontline services and invest in public safety, transit, and emergency services. The 5.5 percent increase is below Toronto’s 6.6 percent inflation rate, in accordance with Tory’s pledge to keep taxes below inflation. However, residents are still concerned about the increase in living costs, given that living in Toronto is already expensive; 2022 saw a record number of people using Toronto-area food banks, many of whom have jobs. Meanwhile, the police budget increase is intended to improve response times to 911 calls. Some residents say that the money would be better spent on the city’s community crisis service, which dispatches mental health workers, instead of funding more armed police. It remains to be seen what the council will do with the budget plan following the mayor’s resignation.

MAYA

PHOTO | NICHOLAS TAM

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editorial

I like long (no movement) walks in the snow, cat gogurts, and fuzzy worms on strings. You can usually find me hanging out (in spirit) in The Strand’s office, probably knocking over the brand new computer over just to see if it bounces. I’m looking for a nice kitty or puppy who I can run around with, snuggle up to, and who doesn’t mind eating off the same plate … so long as I still have my own to myself, of course. Fishers are welcome.

Fact about me that surprises people: I like the subway.

Green flags I look for: strong fishy odour, excessively waggy tail, an affinity for chasing mice. A shower thought I recently had: This sucks. Likes: The colour magenta, ice cubes, smooth jazz. Dislikes: Racoons, the colour turquoise, feet.

A very heart-y meow from me to you, Lucy

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear Strand readers!! This Valentine’s Day, we’re doing our very best to avoid three things: the Aphrodite Project (been there, done that), Tinder (for obvious reasons), and that hot, sexy someone you always see sitting in the second row on the left in your Monday lecture… they’re not that hot, it’s just the Northrop Frye basement lecture roomwithout-windows aesthetic playing tricks on your mind. (Trust us, we’ve been there.) As for the things we’ll be whole-heartedly indulging in, these include: showing love and appreciation to our besties, drinking a whole lot of tea (it's becoming comical at this point), and giving lots of behind-theear scratches to our mascot! Please excuse us if we seem tired. Like many people, we’ve been spending most of our energy trying to answer the question: is it actually possible to find true romantic love through dating apps?

The Strand has been the newspaper of record for Victoria University since 1953. It is published 12 times a year with a circulation of 800 and is distributed in Victoria University buildings and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus.

The Strand flagrantly enjoys its editorial autonomy and is committed to acting as an agent of constructive social change. As such, we will not publish material deemed to exhibit racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, or other oppressive language.

This Love & Sex Issue brings you ruminations on love and sex (duh), explorations of the trials and tribulations of dating apps, and lamentations over the media’s obsession with romantic love. In

Opinions, Celena Ho details her experience using dating apps. In Arts and Culture, Peyton Skotidas provides a valiant defence of Galentine’s Day. Still looking for a Valentine? Fear not; you can find our annual “Date The Strand” spread in Features.

If you’ve been struck by cupid’s arrow, we wish you a splendid Valentine’s Day; if you’re spending Valentine’s with your besties, save us a spot; and if you’re abstaining from any V-Day celebrations, then we hope you have as many discounted chocolates as your heart desires <3.

See you in our next issue, which we are infinitely sad to report will be our last regular issue of Vol. 65, but now is not the time for sappy sentiments—we’ll save those for the next editorial….

With lots and lots of love,

Janna & Rion

Everyone’s on dating apps, even The Strand’s Vol.65 mascot

Janna abbas and rion levy EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

Love won’t fix you

On the life and death of my Cinderella complex

GILLIAN CHAPMAN CONTRIBUTER

A few months ago, I told a guy I was seeing that I was on medication for clinical depression, and he responded, “You don’t need to take those. You’ll be happy when you’re with me. I’ll be your living antidepressant.” A couple of days later, he kissed the scars on my skin and whispered, “I won’t let you hurt yourself again. Promise me you won’t.” I tried very hard not to cringe and promised.

unexpected saviour. His unconditional, allaccepting love heals her heart of its deepest insecurities.

I desperately consumed it all, hoping that someday it might happen to me. Even if I couldn’t fix myself, I believed someone else would. Convinced of my own helplessness and the fundamental dependence of the feminine victim, I locked myself in a tower of unaddressed problems and waited for a saviour to find me. I waited for them to

spell, drank the witch’s brew, and written a hex on my heart that cursed all the relationships I entered.

Gradually, however, after multiple disenchanting experiences and bitter breakups, I realised it wasn’t me who carried this curse— it was the unrealistic hopes I harboured. I had expected love to be a one-size-fits-all solution, an age-old children’s tale with the character development already written in, a safe and predictable plotline, and guaranteed happy ending. I picked up the book anticipating Cinderella , straightforward and simple, complete with a fairy godmother to wave her transformative wand, mend the battered and bruised fabric of my life, and whisk me away into the arms of an idealised prince to bandage the wounds beneath—and instead I opened the cover to find myself mired in the labyrinthine depths of War and Peace , with a maze of unmet expectations in which love was neither the guide nor exit.

I’m not sure how much of that second remark was half-conscious pillow talk, but it lingered in my mind. It would have been exactly what I wanted to hear when I was 16, 18, or even 20, and to be honest I still found it a little charming. For a long time, I was convinced that love would be the magical antidote to all my problems, that it—and it alone—could ‘fix’ me. Once I found that cure and swallowed the fairytale potion from its glass vial, I would open my eyes to a world transformed. The sun would be warmer, the grass would be greener, the mornings would be brighter, and the nights would be safe cocoons of intimate comfort rather than caverns of precarious, fearful isolation. I, too, would be made anew by love’s spell, with no more sadnesses, no more worries, no more insecurities, nothing left for me to face alone, and nothing that I couldn’t be rescued from. I would be healed, saved, and solved.

This fantasy had been inscribed in my mind since childhood and was endlessly reinforced throughout my teenage years by the formulaic love stories that dominate modern media. From Disney movies, K-dramas, catchy love songs, and bestselling romance novels all often portray an emotionally wounded protagonist being rescued from her troubled life by an

fight the legions of dragons, scale the stone walls, and appear like a modern knight on the doorstep of my life. This saviour, this ‘right person,’ this storybook prince would surely solve everything. He would wake me from a terrorised slumber, bring a candle into the darkest corners of my mind-tower, and dispel the shape-shifting shadows. He would deliver me from the cold fortress, show me what it meant to be warm, and piece me back together like a puzzle.

These fairytale hopes coloured and ultimately undermined how I perceived love and my experiences of real-life relationships. Each romance, whether it was a casual flirtation or something more serious, inevitably fell short of my expectations. I would become disillusioned, disappointed, and terrified as the realities of love unfolded before me. Was it supposed to be this complicated? This uncertain? This frightening? Was it supposed to involve so much awkward confusion, so much vulnerability, and so much disagreement? Was I looking for the wrong person? Or was there something wrong with me ? Yes, I thought, that had to be it; I was unlovable. There was too much damage to be repaired. I had built the tower too high. I was doomed to be alone forever, to be one unhealed half of an impossible whole. I had sought the wrong

Now, after spending years in that maze, I’ve learned that I have to find the path to happiness alone. I’ve learned that fulfilment is not dependent on another person and that I don’t need to wait to be saved from my own life. I’ve learned that I have to be realistic with my relationships—if I choose to have them—while addressing my own problems, deciphering my own insecurities, and healing my own wounds. My life isn’t a puzzle to be solved by a fairytale lover; it’s something that I am building, piece by piece, on my own. It isn’t easy, it isn’t glamorous, and it looks nothing like the Disney movies I grew up watching, or the cute romance novels on BookTok. But I know it will be worth it because the story I write will be mine. And one day, I’ll flip to the beginning, open the cover, and read it through. I’ll laugh at the hopes I nurtured for each first date, sigh at the starry-eyed narratives I spun up, and cringe at the disillusioned separations that followed. When I reach the end, I’ll be proud that I carried myself through it all, held the weight of my own wearied heart, and taught it how to heal. I’ll smile at the tale of the girl who rescued herself from the tower. It’s taken a long time, but I’ve finally learned that I don’t need love to save me because I can save myself. I don’t need another person to make me whole because I’m already whole on my own. And so, dear reader, are you.

ILLUSTRATION | SHELLEY YAO

Decentring romance

ATLAS CHANGULANI CONTRIBUTOR

As Valentine’s Day draws near, I always brace myself for the inevitable onslaught of disgustingly saccharine heart-shaped decorations and tasteless memes about not having a partner, and all I can think about is how I wish I could spend the entire month in an alternate timeline where the holiday doesn’t exist. Love is in the air—you see—and I’m allergic.

My identity consists of the oft-forgotten A of the LGBTQIA+ acronym. I’m aromantic and asexual, which means that I experience neither sexual nor romantic attraction. I have no interest in dating, having sex, getting married, or settling down; this is something I have known about myself since I was ten years old. I would much rather spend my life with my best friends, studying astrophysics, and working to dismantle capitalism. A romantic or sexual partner would very likely only end up making me miserable, even if they were an objectively amazing person. Yet, nearly every time I express this fact about myself, I’m told that I’ll grow up and change my mind. I’m told I’m just being immature, that I simply haven’t met the right one yet, and that surely I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. As if it’s simply unfathomable that someone could want to live without a romantic partner, wish to prioritise anything else above finding the love of their life, or imagine a fulfilling future for themselves not centred around romantic love.

Much of what I’ve recounted here is based on good old-fashioned sexism. I look like a girl, so of course my entire life must revolve around a boyfriend or a husband. However, other beliefs hide beneath these words, which are the ideas that everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, desires and prospers within a monogamous romantic relationship and that every other form of human connection is inferior and less valuable compared to romance. This is called amatonormativity, and it is everywhere. You see it in every movie that has shoehorned in a romantic subplot, in every internet meme about dying alone, and in phrases such as ‘they’re just friends’ which imply a hierarchy where friendship is relegated to a position below that of romantic relationships. Amatonormativity is why I spent much of my teenage years thinking I was broken for not feeling attraction and why I faked crushes throughout high school so that no one would tease me when I told the truth. Amatonormativity is why I got laughed at that one time I told my parents I had no intention of ever getting married and why I still sometimes feel as if there is a vast canyon that alienates me

from my peers, which is a canyon that I’d easily cross were I not missing out on what so many perceive to be a fundamental human experience.

Of course, amatonormativity doesn’t just impact aromantic people. Amatonormativity pushes the ideas that romance is the ultimate key to everyone’s happiness and fulfilment, that all people are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner, and that any life without romance is one filled with loneliness and longing. Of course, none of that is even remotely true. We are all complex and whole individuals, perfectly capable of finding joy and contentment in a variety of other pursuits. Yet our culture still adheres to these beliefs. Amatonormativity romanticises the very idea of romance, and that is dangerous. We are taught that being single is a flaw, and so we hinge our self-esteem on our romantic relationships and hate ourselves more with each moment spent not being the object of someone else’s desire. We are taught that the only true way to achieve happiness is through romance, and so we pressure ourselves into being in relationships that are neither healthy nor meaningful, even when they come at the cost of our friendships and our passions. We are taught that platonic relationships are only a cheap supplement to romance, and so we trap ourselves within an artificially created scarcity of love, never realising that we would find love all around us the moment that we take a minute to redefine what kinds of love we consider valuable.

Amatonormativity goes beyond just culture. Although marriage is seen mainly as the ultimate declaration of romantic love and a promise of a lifelong commitment to one’s partner, it is primarily a legal structure, in that it confers a plethora of legal benefits with regard to taxation, housing, and healthcare to abled middle-class couples. These benefits are kept entirely out of reach of nonpartnering, polyamorous, and until very recently, gay people. As of late, capitalism has weaponised

marriage in order to break apart communities into isolated units of nuclear families and tear down larger networks of kinship and mutual support by devaluing all forms of human connection except romance. Individualism is perhaps the last word that comes to mind when thinking of marriage, but individualism is precisely the mindset that marriage upholds when amatonormativity leads us to believe that we are meant to devote all our resources into supporting only our partner and our immediate family and that the communities we belong to are entitled to nowhere near the same amount of compassion.

To be clear, I’m not arguing against romantic relationships; romance can absolutely be a wonderful, fulfilling, and even life-changing experience for many and should, of course, be celebrated. However, it is time we do away with the idea that everyone requires romance to be happy and that being in a monogamous romantic relationship is some magical panacea for unhappiness. It is time to dismantle relationship hierarchies, acknowledge that romantic relationships are not inherently superior to platonic or sexual ones, and cherish all forms of human connection equally. Moreover, it is time to embrace the vast diversity of our bonds with each other and celebrate unconventional relationships such as polyamorous arrangements and queerplatonic partnerships. It’s time to recognize that none of us are required to conform to the narrow, normative model of monogamous romance that we’re told to idolise by Western society. We are the ultimate arbiters of our relationships, what they should look like, and once we let go of the constraints of amatonormativity, there will be no limit to the diversity and beauty of the bonds we could forge with each other, romantic or otherwise. Lastly, it's time to reaffirm that there is nothing wrong with being single, regardless of whether you’re aromantic or not. There is so much more to love and so much more to life.

ILLUSTRATION | SHELLEY YAO

How amatonormativity affects our lives and relationships

PHOTO | ASEXUALS WIKIA

The trials and tribulations of online dating

Online dating is not for the faint of heart (me)

CELENA HO ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

I’m outing myself as a (tragically) online dater. I have never made an in-person connection because I don’t know how to, and at this point I’m starting to believe that I never will. Every person that I have ever been romantically involved with has come to me through some algorithm that convinced me a random stranger would be ‘the one.’ I am the friend who struggles on dating apps and swears that I hate them while my profile appears alive and well. Through experience, I learned to recognize red flags early on, text back at an appropriate non-desperate time, and pretend to be the most interesting and perfect person on the planet. The worst thing I had to learn, though, was the fact that online dating works on a strict schedule. There are strange, spoken and unspoken understandings among everyone on these apps. Who would’ve guessed that there are deadlines for dating? On Bumble, girls have 24 hours to respond, or else your match becomes just another potential lover lost to the cruel hand of time. It’s supposedly all in the name of ‘female empowerment,’ but I just end up feeling like a court jester, juggling knives at my own detriment to entertain a man who will never appreciate my craft. Other apps don’t have a countdown, but if neither person makes a

move within a day, then it just becomes a mutual ghosting. But I’m on the other side with my arms out, screaming “Love me! I’m right here! Just make the first move and I’m all yours. My expectations are low!”

You’d think I would’ve realized this earlier, but online dating is not for the faint of heart (i.e., me). It’s fast and it rips your heart out for you to chase down, only for it to be swept away again. If I take too long to respond, I’m punished with a wait time that is twice as long. If you’re wondering, the perfect ‘wait-response’ formula is one week. In other words, a date is not secured within a week of talking, it’s a waste of time. The small talk happens over two or three days, and if you’re lucky a date is secured. Say it’s a Wednesday, and you choose either Friday or Saturday to hang out. Probably over coffee or walking around the AGO. You can decide what to do next. I’m sorry, but this is where my expertise ends. I have only made it past the first date level twice; they either realize that I’m not what they’re looking for or they realize that I’m a human being with nuance and feelings and the image that I so painstakingly curated is shattered. Of course, that girl is not me. For them, I have to break my body, stretch my limbs into uncomfortable positions, and hold back the softest parts of me just for them to maybe be interested. This is fucking exhausting.

I might just be the greatest liar on the planet. I have created a ‘cool girl’ persona, courtesy of Gillian Flynn. I appeal to my dates’ interests, talk to them about history, read books, and enjoy Marvel movies. I rip out my heart and present it to them for inspection. In return, they give me a rough paper-mâché copy of their own. They don’t appreciate me when I get to know them and try to find anything to be excited about. When people ask me what my type is, I say that I just want them to like me back. Is it too much to ask that they’re kind and funny? My friends laugh and tell me that those qualities are the bare minimum. If only they knew that they’re actually commodities. My standards are so horrendously low, that I fall in love with everyone I meet. When I hear my name uttered out in a sentence, my heart beats faster. I still think about the boy that held the door for me once in grade ten.

These men show me crumbs of basic human decency and I fall in love with their potential. Maybe I just want them to think the same of me. I have so much to share and to say. Come to my dinner party and I’ll cook for you—just stay and help me clean the dishes afterwards. I have so much that I want to share. I’m still here! Just take it! I’m giving away my love and time for free, you fool! I’ll happily tell you the same three stories and reuse my jokes even if that means it’ll be the last time I do. I’ll write about you in my journal in pen. I’ll tell my friends your name rather than call you ‘the new one.’ Just crack me open and my love will spill everywhere. On the outside, my cynical shell protects me from being broken into, but for once, I want it to break. It’s almost masochistic of me to continue dating in an attempt to fall in love and have my heart creacked open in the right way. But for now, I simply prevent myself from feeling anything at all.

My therapist laughed when I told her that I was entering my ‘I hate men’ era, but later in the session I told her that deep down, I think I just want to be in love with someone that wants to be in love with me. I’m too soft for all of the people ‘looking for something casual.’ I want someone so disgustingly in love with me that it rots my teeth and burns my throat. I’ve convinced myself that I will never find that on a dating app, so I remain skeptical and cynical. I hate these platforms. I delete them from my phone every month only to return like a sucker. It’s not what I want, but it’s the only thing I have. It crumbles my sense of self. I forget that I’m a real human being with so many beautiful intricacies and not simply an imagined concept of myself, put on display for people to gawk at me and tell me I’m not worth much. Maybe I’m just weak and not cut out for it. I get attached too easily. In an oil-less place where everyone is a non-stick skillet, I am an egg.

PHOTO | KELSEY PHUNG

Position at The Strand: Opinions Editor

One word to describe my love life is… rollercoaster

If you (blank), I will immediately reject you diss astrology

My most chaotic date/date idea is... robbing a bank together (I have actually pitched this to someone lmfao)

The good ending of my storyline would be... riding off into the sunset (moving into a 2 bedroom loft in Manhattan)

If you’ve ever been in love

it! For The Strand is here once again to completely shake up your romantic life. The Features team asked the masthead to bare their souls, answer the hard questions, and play the fickle game of love. Many refused, but here are the responses we did get.

Position at The Strand: Court Jester

One word to describe my love life is… labyrinthian

If you (blank), I will immediately reject you: have an average daily screen time greater than 1 hour on Tiktok

My most chaotic date/date idea is... infiltrating a furniture trade show at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre

Position at The Strand: Mascot Manager

The bad ending of my storyline would be... Inside a volcano

An ick I get is… When you look better in knit sweaters than my cat would (if she had any)

My most chaotic date/date idea is... Have you heard of Hanlan’s Point?

If you (blank), I will fall in love with you: Write for The Strand

Janus Kwong Janna Abbas Roensa Salija

Position at The Strand: Production Manager

One word to describe my love life is… Simp

One thing I can't live without is... Regrettably, TikTok

A song that describes my love life is...

“Let You Break My Heart Again,” by Laufey lol

My red flag is... I WILL hyperfixate on my partner

Position at The Strand: Co-Girlboss-in-Chief

The good ending of my storyline would be... Acting on my delusions paying off :) The bad ending of my storyline would be... Acting on my delusions not paying off :( My red flag is... Don't have one—nooo babe, don't take off those rose-colored glasses, you're so sexy ahah Don't give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)! tear-streaked love letters confessing your undying and all-consuming love for me

Position at The Strand: Senior Copy Editor

One word to describe my love life is… A series of delusions

If you (blank), I will fall in love with you: Ignore me and leave me on read

Don't give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)! Access to your streaming subscription services

A song that describes my love life is...

“You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift

Abi Akinlade

Shelley Yao Rion Levy

before—forget

Faith Wershba

Position at The Strand: Stranded Editor (blank) is my way of saying I love you! Wawawewa!

My red flag is… The Canadian flag. My green flag is... The Brazilian flag.

On a Friday night, you can find me... You can't. I'm hiding.

Kelsey Phung

Position at The Strand: Photo Editor (blank) is my way of saying I love you! Send you random thing I find interesting

A song that describes my love life is... “Hello” by TREASURE

My green flag is... You can cook

The good ending of my storyline would be... We could still say hello comfortably

Sam Rosati Martin

Sarah Abernethy Kieran Guimond

Position at The Strand: TikTok Philosophizer

Don't give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!

Speak for yourself Features team, I want flowers. The bad ending of my storyline would be... I write a play about your life.

On a Friday night, you can find me... Out dancing! Or throwing a party with a hyper-specific theme. One word to describe my love life is... Baffling.

Position at The Strand: Science Editor

A song that describes my love life is... “I / Me / Myself” - Will Wood

An ick I get is... When men are taller than me

My most chaotic date/date idea is... Breaking into Ramsay Wright at night and looking at brains together <3

My ideal meet-cute would be... You're a customer at Caffiends, I'm behind the counter, I make you the best latte of your life and you fall in love with me

Position at The Strand: Gossip Enjoyer

One word to describe my love life is… Bewitched/ bothered/bewildered

A song that describes my love life is... She-wolf...

Don't give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!

A mysterious locked box that emits a low and ominous humming noise, and is opened in my moment of greatest peril or doubt

The bad ending of my storyline would be... A big bird picks me up and flies into the distance with me and not you :(

Position at The Strand: Associate Features Editor (blank) is my way of saying I love you! Putting your name into the Love % Calculator on girlsgogames.com

The good ending of my storyline would be... Fed up with my tomfoolery, you convince me to adopt healthy habits and a diurnal lifestyle. I finally have the time and energy to commit to you. We take pictures of pigeons and buy CDs together.

My ideal meet-cute would be...I tried to think of one but couldn’t because I can’t imagine a single scenario where I’m not embarrassing myself in front of someone I just met

Chelsey Wang

Position at The Strand: Associate Illustration Editor

My red flag is… Too hansome

The main thing I'm looking for in a partner is...

Capybara

My most chaotic date/date idea is... Us getting trapped on the 14th floor of Robarts

If you (blank), I will immediately reject you: Don't give me cow socks

Position at The Strand: Town Scribe

One word to describe my love life is… Rollercoaster

If you (blank), I will fall in love with you: Have a bubbling, raging, passionate hatred for bananas

The main thing I'm looking for in a partner is...

A shared hatred for bananas

Don't give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)! Bananas (for my evil agenda)

An ick I get is... I think I've made it pretty obvious

Written by The Strand Team

Illustrations by Shelley Yao

Eugene Kim

Ishika Rishi

Can’t help falling in love—but why?

Exploring the psychology behind our love interests and understanding ‘love at first sight’

The other day, I was listening to a song by Ashe and Niall Horan, titled “Moral of the Story,” which goes something like this:

“Talking with my lawyer, / She said ‘Where’d you find this guy?’ / I said, ‘Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.’”

And the song right after that was the Beatles’ “I Saw Her Standing There,” which goes like this: “Well, she looked at me, / And I, I could see/ That before too long, / I'd fall in love with her.”

(It is safe to say Spotify shuffle was really inching towards the Valentine vibes.)

Listening to these lyrics, I wondered, “what does love at first sight really mean?” Is it really glamorous and breathtakingly slow-motioned, with flying hair and perfect smiles? Or is it what happens after this first sight that truly plants the seed for the future? Well, let’s find out!

First, we must examine the psychology and facts behind what love at first sight means: how does this love at first sight occur? When people say, ‘You’ll know it when it happens’, as suspicious and stupid as it may sound, they are actually right. Our brain secretes certain chemicals (the trusty neurotransmitters dopamine and oxytocin), which trigger a relaxing, happy response, making us feel euphoric and trusting. This triggers the well-known ‘butterflies’ in our stomach and sets us up to fall in love. This effect is more commonly noted in men; one study showed that of the people who reported falling in love at first sight, 41 percent were men, and 29 percent were women.

For women, this happens at an even more up-close and personal level—pheromones or natural smells. As a part of the 1995 “sweaty t-shirt study,” it was found that women favoured the smell of those men whose major histocompatibility complexes (MHCs) were very different from their own, which in a longer run would result in having kids with better immune systems. Talk about a call from ‘within.’

When Al Pacino in Scarface said, “The eyes [...] they never lie,” he was also very right. Sight plays a fundamental role in attraction, as prolonged eye contact is seen to increase attraction, skyrocket blood pressure, and increase the urge for mutual touch. But (there’s always a villainous ‘but’ butting in), this interest and change in heart rate, pupil dilation, and urge are mostly seen in those who classify themselves as ‘romantics’ and very rarely in those who don’t. That sounds like a shady structure.

In a 2017 study, the efficacy of love at first sight was explored to see how well it works for finding potential matches. Sadly—but rather expectedly—it did not bode well. Quoting from the study, “The moment of LAFS [love at first sight] does not seem to be marked by high passion for a person and does not seem to involve feelings of love at all, but a readiness to experience them at best [...] We conclude that LAFS is a strong initial attraction seen either retrospectively or in the moment of first sight.” It was a predictable outcome, for sure, but is not always the best

option, as the sole contender in the argument is looks—and trust me, just because someone looks like a ten doesn’t mean they deserve to be a ten.

Love at first sight is, therefore, more of a myth, a concoction, or even an idealisation of love—to make people continue to believe in love, and show people what it means to be in love. It is a catalyst in making people ready to put themselves into the world, open for love, right around the corner.

So, what does it mean for us? It means that finding someone you lock eyes with doesn’t make them your perfect partner. Nurturing a relationship, taking it slowly and steadily to the next level, learning, and being honest with each other along the way, is really the only type of love we need.

Basically, it should always feel like Tina Turner’s “The Best,” which goes like this:

“You're simply the best, better than all the rest / Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met.”

The medical history of gender transition

A brief overview of procedures from the 1930s to today

Kieran guimond SCIENCE EDITOR

With the start of 2023 ushering in a wave of anti-transgender bills in the United States, it’s never been more important to understand the rich medical history linked to gender transition. Multiple states are currently in the process of trying to ban hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgery for minors, and two states are attempting to ban any form of medical transition to those under 26. Gender transition is a rich and fascinating field of medical research, and there have been great advancements over the years.

1931: Vaginoplasty

There have been many different forms of this surgery, all of which entail the creation of a vagina. It is believed that the first example of this was performed at the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sexual Science) on a woman named Dora Richter. This is considered one of the first full gender reassignment surgeries. In 1956, Dr. Georges Burou innovated the surgery and developed the penile inversion vaginoplasty. This method is still commonly used today.

1933/1939: Hormone Replacement Therapy

The use of hormones as a part of gender-reassignment surgery is quite interesting, as the majority of research on the history of this procedure relates to cisgender women taking estrogen post-menopause. Estrogen was first purified and isolated in 1929, and five years later, it became available as a commercialised medication. It is unknown when estrogen was first used by transgender people, but it was reportedly used at the Institute for Sexual Science, which means that it must have been used prior to the institute’s destruction by Nazis in 1933.

In 1929, it was discovered that testosterone could be isolated from urine, and then in 1939, testosterone was artificially synthesised. This was used as a method of treating hormone deficits in cisgender men from the 1930s to the 1970s; the first recorded use of this for a transgender man occurred in 1940.

1936/1946: Phalloplasty

The first example of phalloplasty—the creation of a

penis—occurred in Russia in 1936. A doctor was able to reconstruct a penis using an abdominal flap and rib cartilage. However, it was not until 1946 that the surgery became popularized by an English doctor named Harold Gillies. Abdominal flaps were used for reconstruction until the 1980s, when surgeons switched to using skin from the forearm—a technique which is still used today.

The Future

There are still many areas of research to explore in regard to gender-affirming care—for example, uterine transplants. This procedure is already possible for cisgender women who are born without a uterus; there have even been examples of people with transplanted uteruses giving birth. According to an article published by researchers from Temple University, uterine transplants may become available for transgender women sooner than we think. Although different forms of surgery and treatment have changed and improved over the past 90 years, there is still plenty of room for progress.

ILLUSTRATION | SHARADA MUJUMDAR

Stories @ Vic: Secrets to self-love

Self-love has become an all-too-familiar word, but what do folks actually think about it? In response to this, I interviewed Victoria College students about their views on self-love and how they practise it.

“I think self-love is beautiful,” says Mikaela Moore, a fifth-year student majoring in history and English (and the Associate Arts and Culture Editor). “There has been a huge shift towards embracing yourself and your insecurities since the early 2000s that I’m so glad I get to live through.”

Moore also reveals her thoughts on the importance of self-love. She explains, “Being kind to yourself and your body not only makes you feel happier, but I find that when I'm feeling good about myself, I feel more confident [...] and that my relationships [with others] are better.”

Jusleen Mehta, a first-year life science student, shared that “Many of us don’t realistically have the time to do the glamorized and lengthy self-care and self-love routines/challenges that we see on Instagram or Tiktok, and it sometimes discourages us from taking the steps needed to become mentally

Ranking TikTok’s dating trends

romina emtyaZi EDITORIAl ASSISTANT

For those of us who are constantly fed dating or relationship content on TikTok, it feels like this app has turned into a hub for romance-related trends. TikTok offers many (largely inaccurate) insights into the dating world. Who needs a matchmaker friend or a dating app when you have a social media platform that can provide you with the latest and greatest in finding love—or at least a good laugh. So, without further ado, I set out to rank my top four romantic TikTok trends that keep our hearts fluttering and our minds engaged:

We have all heard of the ick. This trend involves calling someone else out for what we consider to be questionable actions. As TikTok users criticise everything from poor fashion choices to people's daily habits, it's a trend that is both entertaining and cringeworthy. While it was fun at first, 'ickTok' soon turned into a ploy for users to justify their superiority complex.

No one likes to see their significant other running up the stairs with a backpack on while looking like a first grader, but that’s still not enough of a reason to entirely dismiss their character. Nevertheless, like any other successful TikTok trend, “icks” have become part of our daily vernacular, making the post-date reflection with your friends much easier.

2. 2022 #DatingWrapped presentations

Nothing screams maturity and stability like choosing to break down your romantic life in a PowerPoint presentation on TikTok. Inspired by the annual Spotify Wrapped videos, this trend encourages users to review the best and worst dates they had in 2022. These videos also include a reflection on the number of people the person has dated, whether they met online or in real life, and the amount of money spent on dates. This

trend ranks second, as it fulfils the two important purposes of selfreflection and laughs. Who needs a journal, when you can cement your digital footprint with all your failed attempts to find love?

3. Beige flags

We all know of red, green and even pink flags. On dating apps, beige flags are indicators that a user hasn't put much effort into their dating profile. It usually indicates that the subsequent chat and potential date are going to be tedious and unsuccessful. For those of us with experiences on dating apps, we know how hard it can be to use a person’s prompts to open a conversation. Am I supposed to lead with my opinion on pineapple pizza? Another common example would be when attributes like ‘food-lover’ or ‘sports-watcher’ are used to characterise a person on their dating profile. Who doesn’t eat or occasionally watch sports? Neither of these factors reveals much about the person; except maybe that they’re kind of… boring. So, this term is somewhat useful in describing uninteresting dating profiles.

4. Seduction tips

We are all familiar with untrained and selfproclaimed psychologists advising on our For You Page. These 'professionals' explain various theories from the Whisper Method to the Siren Eyes trick. In addition to being inaccurate, suggestions on how to appear more seductive in front of your crush are purely cringe and hard to watch. While some of us may consider testing

and physically healthier

When I asked Mehta about what self-love is to her, she said, “I think we should all find ways to incorporate daily actions involving self-love and care into our lives…in a way that actually forces us to assess our daily habits and lifestyle.”

She also mentioned that she believes “that making time for reflection and for small daily/ weekly self love/care actions for ourselves would be the most effective way to incorporate self-love and self-care in a sustainable and meaningful way.”

A first-year life science student who asked to remain anonymous also mentioned something similar: “Putting effort… into me helps me ground myself, which leads to productivity and peacefulness in many ways. Because I feel better about myself, I can then start thinking of [how I can] helping others and how I can help my community,” she explains. And indeed,these students remind us that helping ourselves before others is not about being selfish but being responsible for ourselves as human beings.

these theories out of false hope, the ultimate result will most probably be disappointing. Trusting romantic TikTok advice is a hit-or-miss experience. The platform is known for its entertaining and creative content, but it's important to remember that not all of the advice you see on the app is based on sound relationship practices or psychology.

1. The “icks”

ILLUSTRATION | SHELLEY YAO

PHOTO | NICHOLAS TAM

The power of queer BIPOC representation in cinema

Laundry and taxes, rocks with eyes, and everything bagels

In what is now one of the most acclaimed queer films of Hollywood, Brokeback Mountain (2005) by Ang Lee depicts Jack and Ennis’s forbidden affair where they meet while herding sheep and start a clandestine homoerotic relationship that lasts for decades. However, Jack and Ennis are bound by the societal expectations of their time in the 1960s and both end up in straight marriages; it is heartbreaking to see their love kept secret and eventually buried. The film was a commercial success, grossing over $178 million worldwide and winning Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Original Score at the 78th Academy Awards, securing its status as one of the best gay love stories of the twenty-first century. With this being said, what would Brokeback Mountain have looked like if Jack and Ennis weren’t male or white? What would queer films today look like if the first influential stories featured non-male BIPOC?

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) reported that out of the 118 films produced by major studios in 2019, only 22 films (18.6 percent) had queer characters. Women made up just 32 percent of the queer characters, and there were zero transgender or gender non-conforming characters in all mainstream releases. In addition, only 34 percent of all queer characters were BIPOC: 22 percent were Black, 8 percent were Latinx, and 4 percent were Asian and Pacific Islander. The face of queer representation and critical acclaim in film is still a white, gay man; Call Me By Your Name (2017) won Best Adapted Screenplay at the 90th Academy Awards, while Love, Simon (2018) made headlines for being the first gay teen romance produced by a major studio. Even the minority of films portraying non-MLM queer relationships are still predominantly white; some of the most famous non-MLM movies, such as Blue is the Warmest Colour (2013), Carol (2015), and Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019), all star white women. There are rarely non-MLM relationships that feature BIPOC in both roles. So, what does this mean? What are the implications of little to no representation of queer non-male BIPOC in film?

When imagining my future as a child, I wanted a house with a pool, a dog, a tight-knit group of friends, and a boyfriend-to-be-husband to share all these moments with. I watched my fair share of Disney movies and learned romance from fairytales. A true love’s kiss and a happily ever after promised by a handsome prince! Even after I realised at 14 that I was queer, I saw love with non-men as temporary. They were reserved for hookups and whirlwind summer flings. My future would still be centred around a man, for only a husband could promise me a happily ever after. Inadvertently, I had sealed my own ending before the story had even begun.

Some might think this thought pattern is a reflection of internalized queerphobia. However, I, along with many other queer POC, am in a position where I risk one of two outcomes: settling down with a man potentially against my desire, or pursuing a partner regardless of gender at the risk of losing my connection to my family. The latter choice is especially precarious as my family is my sole connection to my culture. This informs how I see white queer culture: two-dimensional and shallow. Queer identity cannot be reduced to listening to Mitski, liking frogs and mushrooms, or the aesthetic of ‘looking gay’ (this itself is predicated on how white queer people use symbols to identify with one another). Many white queer people hold onto their queerness to align themselves closer to marginalisation despite benefiting from white supremacy. Whiteness is security and power. Queer BIPOC aren’t guaranteed that safety in the same spaces. There are already problems within the queer community, such as the police being present at Pride Toronto and Pride Toronto creating a land acknowledgement that did not acknowledge Indigenous peoples. The queer movement has been whitewashed and Pride month feels like an exclusive celebration for white people. White queer people must acknowledge the harm they cause in the suppression and subjugation of queer BIPOC. I myself am privileged as a cisgender person who benefits from colourism; there are many BIPOC who are at greater risk for discrimination. When white queer people talk about being oppressed or being discriminated against, I wonder if they think about their white privilege, the amount of

Love in other languages

space they dominate in queer spaces, and how horribly ignorant it comes across to queer BIPOC.

Queer representation in film is in desperate need of complex, well-rounded non-MLM and BIPOC characters. Their stories also cannot be limited to just coming out. I’ve come out multiple times in my life, but I have also had many important and fulfilling life experiences that have shaped me today that have nothing to do with coming out. It’s so important for queer BIPOC to see themselves on screen in a diverse range of narratives. Queerness cannot be synonymous with trauma; queer BIPOC need to see that their lives can be filled with freedom, expression, and love.

With that being said, I have never felt represented in film until I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022). The film focuses on the relationship between mother Evelyn and her daughter Joy. Joy has a girlfriend, but Evelyn deliberately ignores their relationship, which leads to conflict between the mother-daughter duo. Everything Everywhere All at Once reflected my own experience. When I attempted to come out, there was no big screaming match, just a resolute assumption that this ‘phase’ would end. At the end of Everything Everywhere All at Once, Evelyn accepts both Joy and her girlfriend. I have yet to experience this, but it was incredibly powerful to see an immigrant mother-daughter duo navigating queerness. I may be coming out again and again knowing the risk, but seeing Joy and Evelyn crying together and reconciling in the parking lot after their fight sparked hope. I cried alongside Joy because I was her. I am her. And I will continue to be her.

Underrated foreign-language films to watch for Valentine’s Day

was immediately captivated. “My heart was beating really fast,” she told CBC News. “I was on the edge of my seat.”

Upon its theatrical release, the film RRR (Rise, Roar, Revolt) grossed over $30 million in its first weekend and $100 million overall worldwide. When it came to Netflix, the film charted on Netflix's Top 10 for over 14 weeks. Most recently, RRR received a nomination for Best NonEnglish Language Film and won Best Song at the 2023 Golden Globe Awards, surpassing musical creations from Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga. To say that the Indian Telugu-language film is a success would be an understatement.

Miranda Halfyard, a student at the University of Guelph, sat down to watch the movie with her father and

In Los Angeles at the TCL Chinese Theatre, film critic Ryan Cultrera and his friend attended a screening earlier this month where audiences jumped on stage and danced under the screen as the movie’s hit song “Naatu Naatu” played. In Florida, Instagrammer Alyssa Forman and her brother posted Instagram stories of the two dancing to the song in the car after a positive viewing experience of the film. The reception toward the movie, its songs, and dances is a testament to how film can resonate with people across geographic, cultural, and linguistic borders.

At their core, films are about feelings—realistically depicting the emotions of characters and connecting with those of audiences. With the approach of Valentine’s

Day comes a time of immense cultural emotion and collective catharsis. Films have historically been central to this process of sentimentalising romance and idealising love; quintessentially, people have turned to movies like 10 Things I Hate About You and How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days for girls nights and date nights. However, it’s time to expand the repertoire and enjoy films outside of the English language Hollywood bubble.

The following is a curated list of diverse and underrated movies that explore an idea that is fundamental to all people irrespective of language: love.

Une histoire d’amour et de désir / A Tale of Love and Desire (2021)

Language: French

PHOTO | PEXELS, ASYA VLASOVA

ashniri giridaran CONTRIbuTOR

At 18 years old, Ahmed knows little about Algeria. It’s the country where his parents are from, but Ahmed has lived his whole life just outside of Paris, France. In university, he meets Farah, an extroverted woman with bold, curly hair who just moved to Paris from Tunisia. He finds himself falling for her and experiencing desires he’s never felt before, all against the backdrop of a class on erotic Arabic literature. Une histoire d’amour et de désir is a powerful exploration of identity, masculinity, and how they coincide with first love.

Todos Queremos a Alguien / Everybody Loves Somebody (2017)

Language: Spanish

Karla Souza—a.k.a Laurel from How to Get Away with Murder—plays a young OB-GYN in this sweet, romantic comedy. Clara Barron oscillates between doling out romantic advice in LA on the weekdays and partying/ visiting her family in Baja, California on the weekends. Romance is a complication and has been since her

devastating breakup with the love of her life. Everything changes when she decides to bring her co-worker Asher, to her parents’ wedding. Asher is sweet, unexpectedly funny, and speaks Spanish too. However, it all gets messy when her ex makes an appearance at the wedding, resurfacing after ten years. Todos Queremos a Alguien is a rom-com with nuance, a lot of heart, and breathtaking scenery.

O Kadhal Kanmani / OK Kanmani (transl. O love, apple of my eye) (2015)

Language: Tamil Stream on: Netflix

An Indian Tamil-language film from the acclaimed director Mani Ratnam about two young 20-somethings that meet at a wedding and whimsically fall in love. Both actively reject traditional notions of marriage and family that their culture pushes them towards. Both are also leaving the country in six months. They spontaneously decide to move in together and enjoy their time left as a couple, however fleeting. As the end approaches, however,

it becomes more difficult to face.

Atlantique / Atlantics (2019)

Language: French

Stream on: Netflix

Set in Dakar, this film follows Ada and Souleiman, a young Senegalese couple. Souleiman has not been paid in months at his job as a construction worker for a large-scale foreign company. One night, he and his coworkers depart for Spain in search of a better life. At home, Ada learns that Souleiman and the other workers have been killed at sea. In the midst of her distress, her family arranges for her to marry Omar, a local rich boy. However, the night before her betrothal, Omar’s bed mysteriously catches on fire. Ada quickly realises that Souleiman might not completely be lost to her. With insightful commentary on pertinent global issues, Atlantique is a powerful, paranormal love story.

Wildhood (2021)

Language: English and Mi’kmaw

Stream on: Criterion on Demand through UofT Access

Link and Travis are half-brothers who live with their abusive father. One night, Link finds a recent birthday card from the mother he thought was dead in the dashboard of his father’s car. With his brother in tow, Link runs away from home to the Mi’kma’ki territory in Nova Scotia to find his mother. On the journey, he meets Pasmay, a charming Mi’kmaw dancer who offers to help him find his dad. Together, they embark on a deeper exploration of what it means to be two-spirit, Mi’kmaw, and a teenager in a chaotic world.

Attache la tuque! Hold on tight! With these movies the season of love is about to be one heck of a wonderfully emotional ride.

Galentine’s Day: powerful or patronising?

Valentine’s Day: an occasion which is typically associated with passion and romance—and, on a more surface level, teddy bears, chocolate, and roses. Also don't forget the pinks and reds, since what is Valentine’s Day without sugary sweet decorations in the prettiest and richest shades of those colours? There is a tendency to only view the day from the perspective of romantic relationships. However, while that is sweet, it is not the only way to celebrate.

Saint Valentine of Rome, for whom the day is celebrated, is believed to have been a third-century Roman figure with a fascinating and complex history. He is now commonly associated with love but interestingly, Saint Valentine is also the patron of other things like beekeeping and epilepsy, so if you identify with either of those things, I say take the day for yourself! The history of the holiday itself is incredibly vague, however I suppose that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. The moral of the story is that we now celebrate a day that is often focused on romantic love—something that I think should change.

Now don't get me wrong; romance is fine and all. I know this isn't the greatest way to describe something as complex and riveting as true love, but in my defence, it is kind of hard to find one word that encapsulates something so indescribable and perplexing. Anyways, while romantic love is nice, most forms of affection are platonic.

Galentine’s Day simply refers to spending the day before Valentine’s Day with your girlfriends (gals). The holiday, (also known as Palentine’s Day if you or your friends aren’t women or girls) is an increasingly

popular way to show affection to those you love in a non-romantic way. The term can be credited to the television show Parks and Recreation, which features an episode dedicated to the previously unofficial holiday. Technically, the show celebrates it on February 13, while others may choose to do so on February 14.

Some say the holiday is patronising, misogynistic, and unnecessary, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. It is a great way to come together to celebrate each other and the love you share. Galentine’s Day can come to represent a core idea that needs to be expressed more: women supporting women. Galentine’s Day allows people the chance to be themselves while also celebrating what makes their friends unique. It also promotes love in a way that anyone can celebrate.

Valentine’s Day is ultimately one dedicated to celebrating love, no matter the source. The argument that Galentine’s Day is patronising is understandable but misses its main intent and prevents the positivity and joy that can emerge from enjoying the presence of loved ones. I encourage all readers to use all future Valentine’s/Galentine’s/Palentine’s Days as a way to relax with friends, a significant other, or even yourself if that is what would make you happiest. Friendship and love stem from many different sources, a fact that is beautiful and makes life worth living, not a display of loneliness or desperation. Happy Valentine’s/ Galentine’s/Palentine’s Day!

PHOTO | OFFICIAL FILM SCREENSHOTS

Haze

Zoe crepp CONTRIbuTER

There’s some kind of mask covering your face, But I can see that bright flush creeping beneath the powder When I tell you where I think we should go. Those baby doll eyes, all droopy 1930s— Complete with mascara-darkened lashes, batting themselves at me, And that pouty bottom lip sliping and sliding over mine.

You’re hesitating, waiting for the permission That you know I’ll give When the pink clouds clear Confirming your desires.

nesting

sam rosati martin FEATuRES EDITOR

Watch my eyes shimmer —in the ice with you. —I want your song, your singing. Turn the sun off, tenderize [me], lay your voices on my stomach.

Feed me branches and twigs— splinters—

GROCERIES

- Kale - Pears

- Yoghurt

- Bananas

- Carrots

- Hummus

- Rice cakes

- Almond butter

- Cannellini beans

- Trying to remember what it used to be like

- Walking down the aisles

- With happy hunger

- Your hand holding mine

- We used to go to the grocery store

- You gave me an appetite

- I’d eat whatever you’d feed me

- I binged on your sweet existence

- Now the shelves are fully stocked

- With barcodes and numbers

- Reminding me that my body hates being mine

- I know I will leave empty handed

I have been abandoned by an owl who left plastic spoons —twisted into the shape of her home. Take yourself into me[ ]pick me apart and clutch— dig into me, make me into a place beyond ourselves

sophie van dalen CONTRIbuTOR

ILLUSTRATION | JENNIFER FONG LI

ILLUSTRATION | JENNIFER FONG LI

ILLUSTRATION | JENNIFER FONG LI

Dear Stranded: what do I do if my CompSci boyfriend won’t leave Robarts?

Modern love advice for the modern student

Dear CompSci Girlfriend,

2. Play hide-and-seek! Though I can’t promise you’ll ever be found…

Dear Stranded,

Valentine’s Day is coming up, but my boyfriend doesn’t want to do anything! I know it’s midterm season, but he hasn’t left Robarts in weeks. He’s even resorted to hiding in the bookshelves on Saturdays so he can have more time to code. His diet consists solely of the iced lemon loaf from the Robarts Starbucks. One time, I tried to pull him out of Robarts so we could get lunch from one of the food trucks on St. George Street, and he hissed at me. When I talked to him about how I wish we could spend more time together, he told me that as a humanities student, I just don’t understand the special relationship he has with his so-called “precious princess ‘puter,” which is what he calls his MacBook.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I still love him! I love the way his eyes light up when he stares at his computer (though that might just be the screen’s reflection in his glasses). I love the way he smiles when he gets a Discord message notification. I love the way he smells when he finally takes a shower after three months. The point is, I’d love to spend February 14 with him, but I’d rather not spend another Valentine’s Day watching him play League of Legends. What should I do?

Lovesick and lonely, CompSci Girlfriend

Who says you can’t have a romantic evening in Robarts? After all, home is where the heart is, and for Computer Science students, what’s more homey than our beautiful, brutalist, peacock-shaped library with no windows? My friend, I present to you, a couple of date night ideas from yours truly.

1. Have a chill movie night! Book a private study room and hop on Netflix—until you lose track of time and the person who reserved it for the hour after you opens the door and says “um, I think I booked this room…” and watches awkwardly as you walk out and whisper some quick apologies.

3. Let him take you on a tour of Robarts! Since he spends so much of his time there, he must be an excellent tour guide. If you think about it, this is just like sightseeing in Europe… except indoors, in downtown Toronto, and in close proximity to many sad, sad people.

4. Break up with him. He may be cheating on you with a computer. Have you checked his messages with ChatGPT?

XOXO, Stranded

celena ho ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

I am Thanos, and bad first dates are merely my Infinity Stones. The more I collect, the closer I am to wiping out the human population with my rage and fury. The art of going on a first date is something I have yet to master, but here are some important pointers I’ve had the (dis) pleasure of learning. While I am not sponsored by the dating apps mentioned, I feel like I deserve financial

compensation for the dates that I have had to endure. If you ever feel like you’ve had a bad date, fear no more!

Date #1: 5’6 guy

My first date with this guy was fine. All I’ll say is: DO NOT date people who have gone viral. We ended up dating for a bit before he decided to give me a reason to relate to Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well.” Never again!

Date #2: Weird back pats

Let me start by saying that on his profile, this guy’s pictures featured him with SHORT, BROWN, AND CURLY HAIR. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DETAIL. Before we even met, he got lost in the subway station, and I had to find him. When I finally spot him across the street, I see a man with LONG DIRTY-BLOND HAIR. I was absolutely astounded, bewildered, confused, and dismayed. He approaches me and I get a glimpse of his outfit which was a shirt he probably slept in and track pants… I was wearing a cute little romper that my friend lent me. The juxtaposition was almost comical. Before this date, I didn’t know that you could pat someone on the back the wrong way, but this guy was here to prove me wrong. He patted me on the back three. Separate. Times. Chills ran down my spine and my blood ran cold. I knew I had to be the one to end the date, so I walked him to the subway. “I had a lot of fun,” he said sincerely. I just said “Yup!” and bolted. This is a reminder to anyone still using high

school photos on your profile—please don’t. Also, a reminder to everyone else: make sure you ask to see a recent photo of them.

Date #3: Unintentional Catfish??

How do I even begin to explain this date?

We met through the Aphrodite Project, which was a magical survey that used an algorithm to match you with someone that would best compliment the ~real you~. I did this survey in first year, and got a match! And then I got catfished. Or at least, unintentionally. I scoured through his profile trying to find a single picture of a human being. There were three. Two of them were of this very attractive man in glasses. THEN there was a picture from several years ago, but the subject was standing super far away, so I assumed that it was a friend or something. I was mistaken. The day arrives and I go to meet him at Museum station. I embarrassingly walk past him, because he wasn’t the one with glasses. He was the far-away man from three years ago. He texts me that he’s there, and I reluctantly turn back into the station. “Heyyy! You look completely different!,” I say. We ended up walking around campus for three hours, because I didn’t know how to leave and didn’t want to be rude. Keep in mind that this was in early 2021, so vaccines weren’t a thing yet and everything was closed. It was also -16 degrees outside. I ended up getting horrible blisters on my feet. Enough said. This was also the first First Date that I went on, so needless to say, it was the worst first date experience.

PHOTO | PEXELS, HANNAH RAMIREZ

ILLUSTRATION | CHELSEY WANG

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My first boyfriend, break-up, and my entry into the porn industry

I've tried mine and my sister’s accounts, xxxAshley:-)xxx, and hattie popstar 1, and it says they no longer exist! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can you get them back!

Please at least mail me back! This 'helpline' isn't much help at all!

I just feel torn apart, because msp is how i connect with my friends (Babybel)

-

I met Babybel123456 on moviestarplanet.com. He wore fluffy boots and shutter shades—what a hottie!

My only concern was that ‘Babybel’ was a level five moviestar, while I was a level eight. However, we high-level moviestars often have to settle; male moviestars were scarce, and I didn’t know I was gay yet.

Similar to other online virtual worlds, your level bestowed social status. I judged other level eight moviestars for having level two boyfriends. Achieving level eight felt like being famous; I even had a gossip blog to communicate with my fans.

Jess blogger has left a new comment on your post "So many admirers....":

lol was it you who made all of them lol but i suppose lots of people must admire you i do i am on this website all the time !!!!!!

With so many admirers, Babybel was lucky to have me. I met his sister once and she said “ur purdyyyy.”

Unfortunately, MovieStarPlanet banned me because I made sex movies.

This was an interesting turn of events, given my activism in the anti-sex community.

-

MONDAY, APRIL 2 2012

Down with the Dirty Stories!!!!

I have a way to stop deh dirty stories once and for all. I made a forum about it.

The mods could make it so that it filters the posts, so dirty stories, hate forums etc. Great eh? :D

MSP is turning into a porno site now!!! It might shut down if this goes on......

In my movies, I would make one moviestar lie down and another sit down on top… repeatedly. I would also stand one moviestar adjacent to another, twerking. You earned Starcoins when users watched your movies, and ten-year-olds wanted to see sex, so I was in business.

Having previously been banned from Webkinz Insider, I knew that I should perform transgressions from a secret, second account. However, MovieStarPlanet blocked my entire address.

Mortified by my sins, and desperate to reunite with my fans and Babybel, I repented. -

Look, I don't know how to say this but it was me who made the account with the stuff on it. I don't know what was going through my head, but I know it won't be happening again. This is enough to make me realise the consequences. It's kind of making me dread every second if somebody ever found out.

I promise, this has literally shocked me out of my socks.

Please put things back to normal because I don't think I can survive another day of lying to my parents :(. If it happens again you can lock it out for good but I don't think it will after this.

Thanks!

Also can you maybe pass on these comp ideas:

-ballet dancers

-ancient egyptians

The employee kindly forgave me if I would agree to tell my dad what had happened (I told him that my friends peer pressured me.)

Sadly, by the time I regained access, a week had passed, so Babybel123456 had moved on. But I found love again.

Wanna know what love is? Then you’ve come to the right place! So, what do you know about love?

A few months back, my sister forced me to watch 10 Things I Hate About You for the first time, and one thing that stuck with me was when Bianca said, “I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack.” This got me thinking: what exactly is love? If I had a Prada backpack, would I love it? (I mean, I love my free tote bag, which is pretty much the same thing, no?)

As Olaf from Frozen once said, “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” However, I feel like there’s much more to love than this. There are five conventional love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and giving gifts. I’m sure we've all taken tests to find out what our love language is, only to be disappointed by the answers. No thanks, random quiz generator—I do not like receiving words of affirmation from people.

I think we need more love languages because,

honestly, the existing ones do not fulfill my definition of love (which is the objectively correct definition, obviously). So, here’s a list of love languages that make me feel most adored.

Buying books for me

If someone buys a book for me, I'll love them forever. Now, this might be considered gift-giving, but buying books is in its own distinct category. There are a few rules to be aware of here: the book has to be from one of the genres I like (absolutely NO autobiographies or self-help books), and it should not be a BookTok book (I’m literally scarred by half of them!!!).

Sending TikToks

Imagine it's 3 am and you get a message from someone. You open it, and it’s one of those TikToks with the driest sense of humor that forces you into fits of laughter. I love when people send me videos that remind them of me. It makes me feel special. They’ll send me the randomest stuff, and I’ll cherish it forever. That, my friends, is true love <3

Humour

I was genuinely shocked when I discovered that humour isn’t one of the five love languages. Like, huh?? You know what they say: if it can be a coping mechanism, it can be a love language. If Zendaya laughing at Tom Holland’s terrible jokes isn’t a sign of true love, then I don't know what is. All I'm saying is that if I laugh at your lame dad jokes, I love you.

Remembering small details

If you remember my very basic coffee order (it’s an iced oat latte, for those wondering), how I drink my tea, my favourite toppings on pizza, or my favourite song, then you definitely fit into my definition of love.

Reading the plot of a film on Wikipedia before watching it

Now, this one is very specific and very weird, but it's near and dear to my heart. I love reading movie plots before watching them—no one understands me. If I find someone who does the same thing, then it is a sign of the truest of true loves!!

isha riZwan SOCIAl mEDIA mANAgER

PHOTO | MOVIE STAR PLANET

PHOTO | MOVIE STAR PLANET