RAVENMONKEYPOX!4SISTERSSISTERSMEETKELLY THE 2022 MISS GAY BLACK MEMPHIS A NEW SUPPORT PROGRAM FOR WOMEN LIVING WITH HIV IN THE U.S. SOUTH Follow the CDC Guidelines on the FACTS about Monkeypox VISIT TUVMAG.COM + + SEP - OCT 2022 AMIYAHSCOTT Amiyah Scott is an American actress, model, author, and LGBTQ advocate, best known for her role as Cotton on Lee Daniel’s STAR on FOX. With this role Amiyah became the first Transgender Series Regular on Network TV. ○ ACTRESS ○ MODEL ○ AUTHOR ○ LGBTQ ADVOCATE INTERVIEW!EXCLUSIVE THE COMMUNITY ISSUE THE LINE IS MOVING
� The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).
BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY
� Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.
� Have any other health problems.
ABOUT BIKTARVY
These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY.
� If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.
Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains:
Tell your healthcare provider if you:
Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:
Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.
� Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
� Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY.
� dofetilide
� Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY.
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY
HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY
� Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.
� Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5
� BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:
BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS.
� rifampin
� This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.
MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:
Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.
� Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.
� Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section.
� Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.
BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.
� Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.
GET MORE INFORMATION
IMPORTANT FACTS FOR
� any other medicines to treat HIV-1
BIKTARVY® This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. (bik-TAR-vee) BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: February 2021 © 2022 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0008 01/22
� Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY.
Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and visit BIKTARVY.com. BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you. Because HIV doesn’t change who you are. ONE SMALL PILL, ONCE A DAY #1 HIVPRESCRIBEDTREATMENT* *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 05/28/2021. Pill shown not actual size (15 mm x 8 mm) | Featured patients compensated by Gilead. Scan to see their stories. KEEPBEING YOU.
4 CONTENTS Ad OCTDeadline12,2022 Next Issue NOV | DEC 2022 12 & Community13News Raven Kelly Health24 & Wellness 988 Suicide Hotline Emergency Services Entertainment19 A Queer Podcast One To Watch 08‐10 Cover Story Amiyah Scott Actress | Model | Author 06 | Editor’s Letter Gwendolyn D. Clemons Change in Good 07 | Sisters 4 Sisters Black Women & HIV Services 11 | Health & Wellness Dr. Umieca Hankton Guess Who's Coming to the Holiday Party? 14 | Page Community News Julian J. Walker GLAAD New Associate Director, Communities of Color & Media 2022 Miss Gay Black Memphis 15 | Inspiration Section Meiyoko Taylor Adversity – How to Keep Living, Growing & Thriving 20 | Special Contributor Surviving the Holiday’s while being Black & Gay Brodderick D. Roary 22 | BishopSpiritualityDarnellGooch, Dr. Dmin The Grace to be Intentional
Brodderick Roary Special Contributor
Gregory Graphics Layout/Design
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5CONTENTS |
Kyra Bonet James-CassadineSt Transgender Correspondent
Dr. Umieca Hankton Special Contributor
FashionAdministration/Director
Whitney Johnson Chief Editor
Shawn M. Clemons
Although, 30-year-old Gwendolyn couldn’t see the future Gwendolyn but without her preserving I wouldn’t be here writing to you today. Thanks for not giving up younger Gwendolyn!
For some strange reason I felt like my life was over and that I was entering into some strange phase of despair. I really believe that the anguish I felt was attached to a lack of self-validation because I was struggling with my self-identity. Although I had heard that “Change is Good” for me I was not bearing witness to it!
Be Well my friend!
Rashandra
Welcome to our September – October Community Issue “The Line is Moving.” The theme is offered to help people understand that it’s important to stay connected to people who are capable of pouring into your development. As God elevates those you are connected to “the line is moving” and perhaps you are next. Either way your time is coming so stay patient, stay consistent, don’t fret over who is getting what because sooner or later “YOU GOT NEXT! Stay Encouraged Friend…
Gwendolyn&Clemons
6 | EDITOR’S LETTER
I remember the day I turned Thirty, I cried like a baby. In my mind I was getting old.
ISCHANGEGOOD
By Gwendolyn D. Clemons MBA, MSM, PRC Editor in Chief
Fast Forward to 10 years later when I was turning Forty, instead of crying I celebrated! I believe that celebration was a result of things I had accomplished during that 10-year span. I no longer felt like a failure but a woman coming into her own. I guess one could say I was a late bloomer, LOL! Nevertheless, I have embraced change and quite frankly I look forward to who the new Gwendolyn is becoming year after Whenyear.Icelebrated my 50th birthday, not only did we party, I married the love of my life on my 50th birthday, now tell me that wasn’t special! As me and my life partner continue to celebrate each milestone in our lives, our tears are now filled with gratitude and appreciation for the things God has blessed us with. We have our health, a great support system, new business ventures and each other! If I could tell 30-year-old Gwendolyn one thing it would be “Don’t be so hard on yourself because things will work out just fine kid,” because Change is Good!
As with all issues we strive to offer empowering stories to uplift and inform our readers about how to level up by living and doing better. In the Month of October there are 3 Awareness Campaigns: Breast Cancer Awareness, Domestic Violence Awareness, and Mental Health Awareness. I am undoubtedly sure that we all have been affected by one or more of these issues, or know someone who has. Take advantage of the events hosted in your communities or pass the word to someone who may benefit from it! Each one Teach one!
On the Cover is Amiyah Scott –Amiyah rose to prominence after coming out Trans at an early age. Her book, Memoirs of a Mermaid is an authentic, powerful, and inspiring memoir detailing her life’s journey and transformation from childhood to adulthood. You owe yourself the opportunity to read and learn about her amazing story!
Nakesha Powell states, “We are happy to continue destigmatizing and prioritizing the needs of Black Women living with HIV in the South, and look forward to planting the seeds of change for the women of Memphis, TN.” Participants will receive a stipend, and can join the Sisters 4 Sisters program by emailing Thrive@ LadeiaJoyce.com.
New HIVwomengroupsupportforBlacklivingwithinMemphis.
Giovanni N. Dortch, will lead the advocacy training. Dortch is a graduate of the Political Science (BA ‘98) and Women’s Studies (MALS ‘04) programs of the University of Memphis. She has worked as the collegiate and policy lead for the Atlanta based organization, HER Initiative, for the last five years. She has also designed trainings, hosted panels and spoken widely on the importance of political participation and government responses by and to marginalized groups.
Contact: Giovanni Dortch, Principal Consultant
Phone: 318-936-9453
The program, launching in late August, will provide monthly support for women focused on improving mental health, creating a network of support, and learning to advocate for adequate community responses to HIV. The yearlong encounter group will include therapists, social support persons and advocacy trainers. Zenzilé’s Way Consulting’s principal consultant,
7THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
The Black Women’s Health Imperative (Washington, DC) has announced its new program Sisters 4 Sisters, a mental health and advocacy support group for Black women living with HIV in the U.S. South.
Zenzilé’s Way Consulting is a communications consulting firm headquartered in Memphis TN. For interviews or photo opportunities contact, Giovanni N. Dortch at contact@ZenzilesWay.com
With a maximum of ten participants per encounter group, BWHI hopes to lay a foundation for future HIV activism and investment in Memphis–a city that was recently on the top ten list of sites of new HIV diagnoses in the US. Program coordinator
8 | COVER STORY
@king.artez Hair/ Shambrey hair @shambreyhair
CREDITS iRoq
@iroqsavage Makeup:
is an American actress, model, author, and LGBTQ advocate, best known for her role as Cotton on Lee Daniels’ STAR on FOX. With this role Amiyah became the TransgenderfirstRegular on Network TV. In addition to modeling and acting, Amiyah made her mark when she was a teenager by pioneering the New Orleans ballroomundergroundscene. photography King Artez
9COVER STORY | AMIYAH SCOTT
Q: In retrospect, what were some of the gifts and curses of your time navigating your acting career— expectations, disappointments, wins, losses, challenges, lessons?
IG Website:@kingamiyahscottwww.theamiyahscott.com
Looking back, that was such an amazing time in my life. Every day I woke up excited for what’s next. By it being my first acting experience, I made it my main priority. Putting my influencer life on the back burner. If anything, I do wish I would’ve incorporated the two more but acting isn’t easy and I wanted to put my all into it and I’m proud of myself and my performance. Star changed my life, and I created memories and friendships that I’ll cherish forever. It taught me anything is possible, because I remember watching empire weekly, and little did I know star would be next and I would be in it.
I’ve honestly been enjoying some much needed me-time. Traveling, dating, spending time with family… I have still been doing some acting… I made a cameo on a show called "Sugarbaby." I played a character named Ali, that was tons of fun and I’m the lead in the episode “Human” from a series called ‘SNAP’ that will be airing on AMC+ at the end of the year that I’m very excited about. But you can occasionally catch me on your timeline being the BAD BITCH that I am.
I would say to always be authentic. Many times, as trans people we’re expected to tiptoe, minimizing ourselves in order to be digestible. To me, it’s best to always be yourself, be strong and be proud. The right opportunities will come.
Q: What advice would you offer to other rising transgender/LGBTQ+ stars about the promise and the peril of using their platforms with both dignity and caution while opportunity and representation in mass media remains as limited as it does?
Q: What can your fans expect from you in your next season?
10 | COVER STORY
Q: What has been the biggest hurdle for you as a Trans Woman?
Everything. I fight for my respect and to live my life as I am daily. In this country my existence is questioned and threatened. I can only hope that one day trans people won’t have to fight for basic human rights.
Q: Given the great deal of speaking and activism you devote to the subject of bullying, what are some ways that bullying, and its impacts seem to have perhaps changed (and haven’t) since what you endured as an adolescent, compared to what today’s adolescents encounter across so many new forms of media and communication?
Q: What’s the most valuable lesson that you’ve learned and strive to pass along to others about self-esteem and self-acceptance?
Unfortunately, the world will never be ignorance-free. Social media can be a gift & curse, but once you learn to not let the “hate” get to you, it can also be a beautiful thing. You can find support, your tribe. Community has also been so important then & now. I’ve never been one to care what people think of me, but my heart goes out to those who are struggling with bullying. It’s sad that people feel they have to bring others down in order to make themselves feel better and my prayers go out to those who may have lost someone to bullying.
Self-love is the foundation for pretty much everything. The way you love yourself sets the tone for how others love you. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. You’re learning every day.
While we cannot regulate when or how grief shows up, we can determine what we do when grief invites itself to the party. This holiday, give yourself the gift of choosing how you want to observe the season and with whom you want to share time and space. GRIEF sucks; there's no need to add to the weight of grief by doing anything that does not support healing or wellness.
are available to those
Set boundaries: Again, most people mean well, but humans can utter unhelpful words at a vulnerable time in your life. Your grief journey is yours and you do not have to give into anyone's attempt to guilt you into doing anything you don't want to do. You also do not have to listen to any unsolicited "if I were you" or "your (insert loved one's name) would not want you to do or feel like this" advice. Life is too precious to give into the pressures of doing anything other than what YOU want to do.
By Umieca N. Hankton, Ph.D.
11HEALTH & WELLNESS |
Anticipate grief bursts: A grief burst is a burst of emotions such as mourning and sadness resulting from unpredicted reminders of your loved one, such as a special place, object, song, fragrance, sound, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, etc. that reminds you of your loved ones. These bursts will occur unexpectedly throughout the grief journey. When they occur, acknowledge to yourself and others that you are experiencing a grief burst, share your thoughts and emotions, and commit to doing something to honor the legacy of your loved one. Schedule therapy sessions: Be proactive with your heart and schedule an appointment to speak with a therapist about grief. While grief is a unique experience, a licensed professional can help you to navigate the journey by normalizing your experience and educating you on what to expect and how to manage most effectively during challenging moments.
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO THE HOLIDAY PARTY?
depart. With what little energy you may have in your body, you must choose to do what is best for you every time. Do not be a hermit: I know I said you do not have to attend holiday festivities. However, I want to also go on record and say I did not encourage you to withdraw completely. Grief can rob you of the interest to connect meaningfully with others. Resist the urge to isolate or disengage. If you decline holiday invitations, decide how you want to observe the holidays, especially if you typically spend the holidays with your loved one. Pretending the holiday won't be impactful or "just another day" will not prove fruitful. Have a plan in mind. Will you cook? Will YOU invite friends or family to gather together? Will you create a new tradition, travel, or register for a wellness retreat? Whatever you do, do something!
Dr. Umieca N. Hankton is a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of UNH Counseling Services. Dr. Hankton's clinical interests include the mental health and wellness of Black women, LGBTQ+, clergy, college students. Clinical services located
and
Grief SUCKS! I'm sure there's a more sophisticated way of saying that, but I am choosing to honor my raw emotions. Symptoms of grief can feel overwhelming. But, I find that grief SUCKS more intensely during the holiday season. The year my mother died, I agreed to spend Christmas with my aunts and cousins. The gesture was kind and their intentions were good; however, I was miserable. I expected to spend several hours laughing, smiling, and listening to family stories. I thought I would be distracted from the paralyzing weight of my grief. But, I don't remember too many moments of laughter that year; I remember an indescribable sense of loneliness and a readiness to crawl back into my bed. It never occurred to me that I would feel so alone in the presence of my loved ones. I quickly learned the holidays can trigger a plethora of uncomfortable emotions. Here are a few gentle considerations as the holiday season approaches: Pace yourself: Don't expect yourself to move as you did before your loved one transitioned. A once familiar routine or place may begin to feel foreign; this experience is completely normal. You will need time to adjust to living and breathing in the absence of your loved one. You owe it to yourself not to rush through this process. Healing takes time. Be a storyteller: As often as your heart permits, share stories about your loved one with others. Story-telling is a way to honor the fact that your loved one continues to live in your heart. Be selective: Be intentional with whom you share your time and energy this season. People who know you have experienced a significant loss may invite you to join their holiday gatherings because they do not want you to be alone. Their intentions are good. However, there's no need to feel obligated to attend any function to appease others. You might find it emotionally exhausting to fake a smile or chuckle just so others feel at ease or less concerned about you. If you accept an invite, it's more than acceptable to rescind your RSVP later. If you decide to attend an event, but after arriving, you feel an aching desire to leave, it is honorable to thank the host for the invitation and
in TN, LA, TX, GA, WI, AL, D.C., IL, MN, & KY. To learn about the services offered, please call 901-300-9082.
I have always been intrigued with pageantry. Once me and my former lover, (Krayola Cassadine) purchased a camcorder from Best Buy to start recording pageants. As luck would have it the first pageant, we recorded was Mr. and Miss Gay Black Memphis in 2001. Everything I know about female impersonation came from watching that VHS, which I still have to this day. I would copy everything those entertainers did, from hair design to modeling, from presentation speeches to talent routines, I’d soak it all up. Dante Arnold, Paul Thomas, Tanisha Cassadine and Trent Simmons would come over and bring pageant tapes over and would educate me not only on the art of female impersonation, but Memphis drag pageantry especially the history and legacy of Black Memphis and its formers.
12 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
Miss Gay Black Memphis was established over 65 years ago in Memphis, TN. Many of the Titleholders are often seen as the best in the industry. Miss Gay Black Memphis is the longest running black pageantry system in Tennessee. Created uniquely in an era that only allowed men to dress in drag (but still must wear men's undergarments). Initially, the pageant was held only on Halloween night due to strict laws that prohibited men to dress in female attire. The Miss Gay Black Memphis pageant was the first pageant in Memphis to highlight and recognize African American female impersonators. In 2000, owner and former Miss Gay Black Memphis, Tamika St. John created Miss Gay Black Memphis Plus. My mother, the Devine Tanisha Cassidine was crowned at Club Incognito in October of 2001. Formers include Katrina Davenport Dupree, Ivy White, Porsha Buchanan, Khari Kane, Dawn Cassadine and Anivia C Kelly.
KELLYRAVEN MEMPHISBLACKMISS
Throughout my career, I have always held Miss Black Memphis to the highest regards (being that both my gay parents Enrique St James Sanchez and Tanisha Cassadine are formers). I have hosted the pageant twice and have helped 4 of my sisters capture the title so about 4 years ago I decided to compete. After receiving first runner up twice, I was a little nervous about competing this year. After being reassured by my biological Mother, Jennifer Mclin to never give up, I captured the title on July 17th winning every category. Capturing the title of Miss Black Gay Memphis is my biggest accomplishment to date, throughout my career I have invested a huge amount of work and sacrifice into winning it. Not only am I able to continue “both” of my parents’ legacy, but I am also able to give back to a community that has given so much to me. My name is among a list of entertainers that risk their freedom so that I may be able to freely and creatively be Raven St. James Kelly. I will use my platform as Miss Gay Memphis Plus to make drag “great” again. To show my children Kamiya, Shanice, Anivia, Elvis, Ace, DQ, Safari, Libya, Jayda, Fancee, Tgotti, Deno, Saiyvion and Semaji to never give up. Miss Gay Black Memphis is a pageant that speaks for itself. My dreams coming true was an act of sheer will and determination and I am a true testament of what God can do. Never underestimate or doubt yourself. As the voice and face of Miss Gay Black Memphis for the next 365 days I can undoubtedly say “Black Memphis is on the Move!”
13THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
For the past eight years, Julian has partnered with leaders and organizations across the globe in hopes of creating safe spaces for LGBTQ+ POC. He’s currently the Deputy Director for Mobilizing Our Brothers Initiative (MOBI) and Communities of Color Ambassador for GLAAD, the world’s largest LGBTQ+ organization.
He will work alongside DaShawn Usher, Director, Communities of Color & Media to create programming that shapes narratives and provokes dialogue that will lead to cultural change while identifying and meeting the needs of the community.
ABOUT GLAAD:
OFCOMMUNITIESCOLOR GLAAD, the world's largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) media &Communitiesashiredorganization,advocacyhasJulianJ.WalkerAssociateDirector,ofColorMedia.
GLAAD rewrites the script for LGBTQ acceptance. As a dynamic media force, GLAAD tackles tough issues to shape the narrative and provoke dialogue that leads to cultural change. GLAAD protects all that has been accomplished and creates a world where everyone can live the life they love.
14 | INSPIRATION
GLAAD
ABOUT JULIAN J. WALKER
Julian J. Walker is an esteemed silver screen actor featured in “Blackbird,” Bounce TV’s “Saints & Sinners,” and BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane.” This Jackson, MS native has trailblazed in the literary sector with his artistic work, “A Year Without You” featured on NBC News Best Black Queer Books list in 2020.
In his role, Walker will ensure GLAAD’s Communities of Color & Media department creates, reports, trains, and partners with locally based initiatives throughout the country with a focus on the South.
Walker brings first-hand entertainment, media, and advocacy experience to the role, previously starring in the 2014 film Blackbird, directed by Patrik-Ian Polk, alongside Academy Award-winning actress Mo’Nique. He’s also the Deputy Director for Mobilizing Our Brothers Initiative (MOBI), a series of curated social connectivity events for queer people of color to see their holistic selves.
For more information, please visit www.glaad.org or connect with GLAAD on Facebook and Twitter.
“Early into my career I realized the importance of community support,” says Walker. “Valuing the voices of those often forgotten or seen as unusable. If it wasn't for the love, encouragement, and support I've received across the world, I wouldn't have the hope, faith, and belief today that I too deserve to be here. Aside from my beautiful journey in television and film, working closely with community leaders has offered a level of peace that I can't explain. I'm looking forward to the spaces we'll continue to create, the voices we will continue to amplify, and the opportunities for community advancement on the horizon. Always remember: your individuality is your superpower; so continue to soar – trusting and believing you ARE deserving.”
Stop playing it safe. The only way you are going to achieve any type of breakthrough is when you step out of your comfort zone. Go ALL IN. That means removing every distraction in your life . One thing that can really help is looking at everything as an asset or liability. Is this person, thing or the environment helping me grow? Do I feel energized, am I learning and does it bring me closer to who or where I want to be ? Or, do I feel mentally and physically drained all the time? Is it taking time away that I could utilize to make more of an impact on my life , my family's life and my business ? Practicing this way of assessing your life will
Below are four things you must understand to keep moving forward and navigate through the obstacles of life & business.
And always remember ….
#3. Go All in on YOU
Start taking action with the intention or
You can’t be hot one minute, then cold the next. Stick to the blueprint. If you know exactly what you have to do every single day to achieve your goals , do it no matter what. Adversity is designed to test us and push us to our mental , emotional , spiritual and physical limits . You can completely transform your life just by doing the right things over and over again. There’s no magic pill here or secret to overcoming challenges. It’s going to take a consistent and persistent version of you. A person that refuses to give up even if they don’t feel like taking a single step further. Being consistent will build your resiliency muscle and it give you that mental toughness you’ll need to get through the adversities of life or Appbusiness.lythese four principles in your daily life . Use them as a roadmap that you can pull out when you’ve made a turn down the wrong highway of life. This is how you keep going and are able to weather the storms in your life.
Living, Growing & Thriving Through it
ADVERSITY
How To Keep
#1. Nobody is Coming to Save You
By Meiyoko Taylor
No matter how much you complain , beat yourself up or blame everyone else, nothing will change until you do something . Nobody is coming to save you or rescue you from whatever you’re dealing with right now. Accept it and understand that any momentum or progress is going to come from who you see in the mirror every day. So, forget about what you see on television or on social media. Life is not a Cinderella story. It doesn’t matter how much you pray, meditate or establish practices that are supposed to get you in the zone . If you don’t combine all that with some actual work, you won’t make any progress . I say this not to discourage you but to encourage you, to know that you have the power to shape your destiny. It’s all on you.
#2. Deprogram Yourself From Disappointment
#4. Consistency Creates Change
Success is not about how you start or how many times you stumble along the way, it’s about never giving up. Keep going.
15INSPIRATION |
Adversity is something that we all know we will come up against at some point in life. It could be heartbreak, financial loss, business hardships, losing a loved one or many other things. All of these have the potential to derail or completely change our lives for the worst. Many are stuck in a cycle of depression, lack of self-esteem , and negative thinking altogether.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way. How do we continue to live, grow, and thrive inspite of how we feel? How do we continue to level up in each area of our lives when we encounter so many challenges?
give you a lot of clarity about who belongs on your journey and who needs to take a detour. It’s clean up time.
expectation of success . Too many times we set goals or plan a strategy only to have negative thinking in the back of our minds . Instead of thinking this may not work, think about all the reasons why it will. Focus on what happens when you reach that goal or achieve that level of success. You attract what you focus on the most, so spend your mental energy on what you want to happen, not on what you don’t want to happen. If changing your mental programming means changing your circle and being around people or environments that inspire or empower you, then make that a priority in your life. Your conversation and daily lifestyle should consist of people's environments and tools that promote your growth . Period.
are the co-founders of the A Queer Understanding podcast. They started the podcast because they saw the need for members of the LGBTQIA+ community to have a platform to tell their truths in their own voices. A Queer Understanding is a place to inform members of the community of available resources, educate one
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH BROAD
Listen & follow everywhere you listen to your podcasts or go to: Like & follow us on @aqueerunderstanding@aqueerunderstanding @QueerUnderstand www.aqueerunderstanding.com/podcast.
another about the beautifully diverse ways our identities manifest, inspire by highlighting the successes of our community members, and advocate by shining a spotlight on issues that community members have faced, and are currently facing, that need to be addressed.
Dr. CassyThompsonAngelicaandMorris
A QueerUnderstanding
Not only are the two partners in podcasting, but they are also partners in life – Angelica and Sophia will wed in November 2022.
By Brodderick Roary
Fall/Winter is a notoriously emotional time for many. The holidays pose a particularly difficult experience for anyone with less than a Norman Rockwell-esque family situation, and Seasonal Affective Disorder doesn’t help. But for gay, bisexuals, and those of trans experience, there’s often an added sense of depression. For many gay people, going home to family means entering a toxic environment where they can’t fully be themselves. For others, there’s not a family to go home to in the first place.
The holidays bring up a certain degree of sadness for anyone that isn’t in a relationship, but then there’s this added family piece in our community. Many of us are reminded over the holidays that our family never fully accepted us for who we are, and if we are going home, we are faced with the reality that we can’t bring our full self-home – we need to be that modified, censored version that will live up to mom and dad’s standards.
20 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
Surviving the holiday´s while being Black and Gay
But just as with any trigger experience, there are tools for any gay person struggling to cope with the holidays. Here are some suggestions that will help you get through the holiday season...
3. Shake Things Up
21THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
Set boundaries where you need to...You never have to partake in anything that you don’t want to and learning to say no to the family is crucial for mental health. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, it means that you are different from them, and that’s okay.”
• As gay people, our first instinct is often to hide our pain and keep everything inside because at one point in our lives we had to — it was way too risky to share our truth. This is a pattern that needs to be challenged in our adult lives if we want to be emotionally healthy.
4. Chosen Family
1. Set Boundaries
• If you’re feeling anxious, depressed, or constrained at home, another option is to shake things up a bit and express parts of yourself that you might not have expressed in the past.
5. Focus On Self Care
• Instead of staying in the toxic heteronormative house where you pretended your Rhythm Nation poster was because of your childhood crush on Janet Jackson, opt for a hotel.
• If the family wants to go to attend the church that convinced you your identity is a sin, politely decline to spend your time doing something that feeds your soul and spirit.
It’s basic, but we forget about it during the holidays because there is so much going on. Sleep, diet, exercise, and consciously carving out time for an activity that restores you is crucial at this time of year to refill your tank and take care of your body.
• Have a safe person that you can call at any time who will not invalidate what you’re saying, even if it sounds irrational. Someone who can just listen and be there for you, ideally someone who is also queer and can empathize with your situation. Establish this connection before the holidays, and let the person know exactly what you need from them.
• When the family member who always has something smart to say about you and your sexuality, leave the room.
• Sometimes our fears and the way we censor ourselves around family are based more on our own shame and internalized homophobia than on our reality in the present day. All of our fears are there for a reason, but maybe they’re in need of an update. Often, people do change and become more accepting, but they can only show that they’ve changed if we take the risk of presenting a new side of ourselves. By making the decision to show up authentically, you subconsciously say to your family, “I’m okay with me now, are you?” And remember, the answer to the second part of that sentence doesn’t change the first part.
2. Buddy System
If you’re not going home, the holidays are a great opportunity to build your chosen family. This means being both proactive and vulnerable. It’s easy to let old narratives keep you isolated and fulfill your worst nightmare — if you believe that you are hopelessly alone and no one wants to spend the holidays with you, and you don’t challenge that belief, then you will likely create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If instead, you challenge those beliefs and commit to being proactive and vulnerable, then you will find people to spend the holidays with because there are so many LGBTQ people in the exact same position as you.
• Of course, it’s a fine line here, between furthering your authenticity with family and protecting yourself from further pain and invalidation. Your gut is always your best compass but try not to write people off before filling out the situation.
People of all ages are experiencing depression. “Depression is just not unhappiness. Depression is not just despair. Depression is not just sadness. Depression is a sense of feeling lost,”2 says Dr. Jamal Bryant in his sermon on ‘In Sickness and In Health.’ Therefore, we cannot let a persistent attack, illness or sense of loss keep us from the reflection of Thanksgiving and the support of National Coming Out Day. We have been given these events and days to return light back into dark places. We must comfort, advocate, stand, accept, love, assist and defend those who bear the struggle of suffering in silence because they cannot “come out the closet” to their family and friends about their sexuality. We must use our tools, skills and resources to bring balance and peace to all of those who are suffering in silence. We must keep the line moving to bring awareness, treatment, prevention and open doors to those who need access.
After facing an increase in violence, civil unrest, protests, the wearing masks, quarantining and isolating, a global pandemic with COVID-19, seeing businesses, organizations and churches with less occupancy, and now talks about a viral disease called Monkeypox, these last two years has been, too, much to handle and quite a scare. For some, who may have immunocompromised systems, mental health issues, alarming financial conditions, have loss of family and friends, talk about a nightmare. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), COVID-19 global pandemic has triggered a 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide in its first year. 1
22 | SPIRITUALITY
What this suggests is that health anxiety and depression has been aggravated because not only do we have to deal with what’s going on in our lives and the world but we also have to see it on social media. This intensifies these triggers and the statistics will probably increase even more, especially since social media has become the latest trend of technology and how we communicate and seek entertainment. Thus, adding to the thoughts of suicide that some may experience because of no support and treatment. Are we under siege by violence, COVID-19 and now Monkeypox?
If awareness, treatment, prevention and open doors are not offered to keep the line moving then it leads to internal stressors, long term health disparities, negative self-talk, phobias and embedded theologies. As a matter of fact we need deliberative theology which requires honesty and openness regarding things that are difficult even in our faith. We must use our theology as faith to understand
The Grace To Be INTENTIONAL
We must be intentional in our health, in treatment, in our thoughts, in our ideas, in our purpose, in transformation, in diversity and inclusivity and even in the faith. We cannot have a theology without including God and how God relates to matters concerning the world and things that affect what God has created has to be God centered. How we respond in worship and in the world is a demonstration of our experience and encounter with God and if we experience and encounter God with intentions of addressing the problems that plague and disproportionately affect our communities then we would come to
1World Health Organization, “COVID-19 pandemic triggers 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide, accessed August 23, 2022, www.who.int.
and to challenge our spiritual growth so that we may be wise and mature even in our understanding of reflection of Thanksgiving and support of National Coming Out Day.
And what we are believing in God for is intentionality, healing, treatment, transformation, diversity, inclusivity, acceptance, love, and equality. God’s grace provides room to us all for healing, wholeness, treatment, love, support, inclusion, welcome, acceptance and equality. Our responsibility is to give honor and not ostracize because that’s not demonstrating the love of God. So this is the perfect timing to convince people that you know how to be children of God’s light offered a world that has not been giving or demonstrated that light by humanity.
ChurchCathedralJr.,Gooch,DMin,ofPraiseofMemphis,Inc.
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by Bishop Darnell
2Dr. Jamal H. Bryant, “In Sickness and in Health,”
worship and in the world understanding that we respond with grace in what we are believing God for. We all are afforded some level of God’s grace.
