Thunder Roads Magazine Tennessee September 2013

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National Photojournalist Cooper Chilton

Nina “Biskit” Shearon

Ronny Mangrum aka “Rebel Ron”

Production Manager itsbiskit@yahoo.com

Merry Hancock

Layout & Design Graphic Design Artist

Mechele MacDaniel

Ray “Easy Does It” Cole

Regional Director Middle Tennessee 615-496-1493

Ron Baptiste aka Pastor Ron

Regional Director Knoxville, Tennessee (865) 640-5711 easydoesitguy@gmail.com

Do YOU have what it takes to be the next Regional Director of the CHATTANOOGA or Memphis area? Give us a call 615-792-0040

?

FROM THE CORNER OF VETERAN’S DRIVE AND PATRIOT’S WAY

Bob “Bulldog” Ousley DAVE “Ratchet” CHESTER Regional Director Clarksville 931-216-0937

Da’Olde & Mitzi Alaska Correspondents

We Thank ALL Our Angels Who Lend A Wing; Daily.

ON THE COVER

NATIONAL FOUNDERS

Toni McCoy Shearon & Brian Shearon

1528 Matlock Drive Chapmansboro, TN 37035 Corporate Office: 615-792-0040 Fax: 615-792-7580 e-mail: thunderroads@charter.net

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Chaplain’s Corner

Model: Hamizadai aka “Hami” Fereira of Florida Model Photographer: DUSTY AUSTIN WWW.DUSTYAUSTIN.COM Cover Design: Brian Shearon

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CALENDAR OF EVENTS LISTINGS Contact: Mechele “Me-Mac” MacDaniel, Events Calendar Administrator for TRM 615-496-1493 or, e-mail them to: events@thunderroadstennessee.com What’s on the site goes in the mag! This weather right now is for night riding and early morning riding. The afternoon’s are still up in the 90’s, so be an early bird or a night owl, but just get out and ride baby, ride. Be sure and read the article on our adventures at Kentucky Bike Rally this year. This was our 14th year. Our son Joey had the biggest pool there; pump and all. This was by far the best turnout and best time had by all in a very long time. Great entertainment and we believe that Carlene & Bill Thomas are just going to keep making it better and better every single year instead of it just staying the same old predictable rally, year after year, like it used to be. We had SO many comments on the hearse that was part of “Super B.”’s funeral that I wanted to give a big Thank You and job well done to Smith Funeral Home (see ad in mag) as their all glass hearse with frost etching looked so regal, like something you would see at a President’s funeral…..only being pulled by a cool-ass trike. But if you’re a biker and want a totally unique send-off, then make prior arrangements via Smith’s Funeral. It’s is the way to go, and like the Charmin commercial says…..We all gotta’ go, so why not go in style. Also want to give props to B.W.C. (Bikers Who Care) for so many of their group, including Bill Langford (Founder) and Steve Eckart (Photojournalist) attending and bringing all the guys on their bikes, it was definitely one amazing procession. Love you guys. Our gal “T.”, that is the Publisher for Thunder Roads Oklahoma & Arkansas went to Sturgis, S.D. and had so much fun and every day was jamb-packed with events that she’s doing her article in installments of 3. Be sure and read Installment #1 in this issue. She got a great hook-up with Toby Keith and that will be in installment #3.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF ITS CONTENT MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION. PUBLISHER ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY AND IS NOT TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ERRORS BEYOND THE COST OF THE SPACE OCCUPIED BY THE ERROR, SLANDER OF ANY GROUP OR INDIVIDUAL, FAILURE TO PRODUCE ANY ISSUE AS SCHEDULED DUE TO REASONS BEYOND OUR CONTROL, ANY AND ALL SUITS FOR LIABLE, PLAGIARISM, COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND UNAUTHORIZED USE OF A PERSON’S NAME OR PHOTOGRAPH. OPINIONS AND CLAIMS MADE BY ADVERTISERS AND AUTHORS ARE THEIR OWN, AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE POLICY OF THUNDER ROADS MAGAZINE OR THUNDER PUBLISHING. PUBLISHER DOES NOT PROMOTE THE ABUSE OF ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS.

September 2013

But here’s the cool thing, we (Thunder Roads) essentially have 21 separate reporters out there in 21 states covering all kinds of BIG rallies and noteworthy charity events and we’re able to bring them to you, our loyal bikers and readers because we are……. THE LARGEST BIKER MAGAZINE NETWORK IN THE WORLD! We love what we do and we consider it an honor and privilege to bring this magazine to you every month. Beyond Grateful. Hugs & Blessings to you and your Family. We love ya’ bikers. toni & brian

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K.I.S.S. page composed & edited by: Toni McCoy Shearon aka “MaMa Thunder” of Thunder Roads Tennessee i have chosen this name for our monthly recipe page, as that was what my mother, rest her soul, always used to say when I would assist her in the kitchen. mom was an avid supporter of the kiss (keep it simple sweetie) method of cooking. i now, more than ever, truely appreciate her philosophy of always taking shortcuts where you can, as long as your ultimate outcome is that of down home, labor of love cooking.

FINGER LICKIN’ WINGS.....CAJUN STYLE

Mix together as a rub in a large bowl: 1 tsp. of ground red pepper or Cayenne pepper 1 Tbls. of Dry Mustard 1 Tbls. of Dry Thyme 1 Tbls. of Dry Mustard 1 Tbls. of Onion Powder 1 Tbls. of Garlic Powder 1 Tbls. of Smoked Paprika 1 Tbls. of Hot Paprika 1 Tbls. of Regular Paprika 1 Tbls. of Parsley 1 Tbls. of Basil Heat up your grill to medium high. Brush rack with olive oil * This rub is based on enough for 20 wings. If you have more, just double or triple the recipe amounts. Fresh ground black pepper & salt to taste Take your wings and cut-off the wing tips. These really have hardly any meat on them. Now, take your solid wing pieces and cut winds at joint. This makes each wing a manageable and fair size for eating. Dry your wings off thoroughly and 3 at a time, add to bowl and coat completely both sides. Don’t shake off excess. Place on a platter to take out to grill. Arrange wings in a straight lines on grill and grill on each side for 4 minutes with lid closed. Then move wings either over to an unlit side of grill or up to the top shelf to continue cooking 3-4 more minutes to ensure no pinkness at the bone. The wings should have a great blackened look to them from the rub and the flavor is amazing! Serve with bleu cheese dressing, Ranch, or whatever your favorite dipping sauce might be. Gimme’ some wing, baby!

TOMATO PIE

1 9-inch Pie Shell, prebaked per instructions 2 Tbls. Dijon Mustard 4 Home-Grown or Market Stand Tomatoes; Peeled & Sliced into solid 1/4 inch slices 4 Ounces White Cheddar cheese; grated 4 Ounces Yellow Cheddar cheese; grated 1/2 Cup of (premium) Mayonnaise 1/3 Cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese Preheat oven to 350 degrees Spread the entire inside of the pie crust with mustard; all up the sides and even on the crust. Layer the tomatoes in the crust in a lap over effect and 6

sprinkle with salt and fresh cracked pepper. Top with the Cheddar cheese. Mix together the mayo & Parmesan and spread that on top of pie. Sprinkle dried Parsley all over the top of that and bake apprx. 20 mins. Let cool and serve at room temp. * I always drizzle thinned down Ranch dressing on my slice, but that’s your choice. Any way you take it, this pie is one delicious side dish.

MaMa Thunder’s SUPER SIMPLE CHEESE & BACON BISCUITS

1 Cup of shredded Cheddar Cheese 1/2 Cup of shredded Monterey Jack Cheese 4 Cups of Bisquick brand biscuit Mix (box) 2 Cups of Whole Milk Salt & Freshly Ground Black Pepper to taste 1/2 Cup of crumbled bacon bits (cooked crisp but not burned) 1 Tbls. of Bacon Grease Spray a large non-stick backing sheet with non-stick spray (better to be safe than sticky) Take an ice-cream scoop (the kind with the scoop out handle on the side) and drop equal amounts of biscuit dough onto sheet pan. Allow for them to spread out some. Now, in a small bowl, melt down a 1/2 stick of butter with 1/2 tsp. of Garlic Powder. Take a basting brush (I just use cheap 50 cent paint brushes) and baste biscuits generously with garlic/ butter mix. Bake for 12 to 15 mins. until they are cracked on top and golden brown. Take out of oven and immediately baste generously with more garlic/butter. Oh MaMa.... these make me slap myself upside the head!

K.I.S.S. TIPS:

Instead of using buttermilk, milk or water in the next batch of pancakes you make, try substituting with lemon-lime soda. Your pancakes come out light as air and just begging for lots of butter and warm maple syrup. Use your crock-pot for mac n’ cheese. Just add 1 cup of elbow macaroni, 1 can of Campbell’s cheddar cheese soup, same can, only full of whole milk, pinch of nutmeg and a 1/2 stick of butter. Let cook on high for an hour. Fab Mac!

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Chaplain’s Corner Pastor Ron Baptiste Founder of Covenant Confirmers Ministries Inc. www.covenantconfirmers.org Founder of Tennessee Biker Medical Clinic Inc. www.tennesseebikermedicalclinic.org TN.COC State Chaplain www.tenncoc. homestead.com Member of NCOM Christian Unity Council www.facebook.com/NCOM.Christian.Unity Pastor Ron’s messages can now be downloaded off the website Leadership Skills can now be downloaded off the website

“PURSUE”

1 Sam. 30: 1-8 David had been out fighting the Philistines and returned home after the victory, David was use to coming home to people singing and dancing, welcoming him home from the battle. But the Amalekites had come in while David was fighting the Philistines and “burned his village to the ground, taking the women and children captive.” David’s men were so grieved that they talked “about stoning David.” Have you ever had people that once fought along side you, now they want to kill you? David had lost everything just like his men, but now he has to put up with his own men wanting to kill him. “David was greatly distressed…but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” Encouragement is a wonderful thing but there is more to victory than singing, dancing or shouting: 1. “Encouraged” an emotional uplift 2. “Bring me the Ephod” get in line with God’s word 3. “David inquired of the Lord” prayer, seek only the Lord 4. “Pursue” put action into your prayers The result of following the full process; “the Lord answered him: Pursue, for thou shall surely overtake them and with out fail recover all!” The modern day church only wants to “Encourage itself”, too many churches are so hung up on “Emotionalism” they forget all about the Word of God, forget prayer, forget putting action to your prayers, and they are not “Recovering all!” Too many churches have turned into “bless-me-clubs.” Churches are more “politically correct” than “biblically correct.” Emotionalism is a lot like “pain meds” it’s only a 8

short term relief, if it is used long term it becomes an addiction. Church members are a lot like pain med addicts who doctor shop, they’ll Pastor shop and church shop until they get their fix! Some congregations have turned their Pastors into pimps & pushers, their churches into spiritual pharmacies. They want to run, shout, jerk, fall out, but they don’t want to hear about hell, or how to grow in the Lord, the church is addicted to “feel good messages,” they only want to hear about how God is going to bless them, how their all going to be millionaires, and the “Sweet By & By,” but what we really need to know is how to survive the “Nasty-Now.” What God thought about sin in the beginning hasn’t changed, the modern day Church has changed; we keep making “Golden Calves” to take the place of a Holy God. There is nothing wrong with getting excited in Church but if that is the only reason you go to church, you are unbalanced, it’s like eating nothing but your dessert, it may taste good but you need a balance meal to survive. 2 Tim.4:3-4 “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lust shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth and shell be turned into fables.” So remember that if you really want to “Recover All” that the devil has stolen from you, there’s more to it than just “Encouraging yourself” go to the Word of God, activate the Word, go to the Lord in prayer, and “Pursue and you will recover all!” Until next time, keep your face in the wind and your kickstand up. To be found faithful, Pastor Ron

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September 2013

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CLUBS

ORGANIZATIONS

Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs of the The Great State of Tennessee www.tenncoc.com

BACA

Board Members

State Chairman: Byrdman 1%er, AOA State VP Chairman: Tommy 1%er, AOA State Secretary, Webmaster: Keebler, American Steel MC State Treasurer: Doc, 4 Way In No Way Out MC COC Chaplain: Pastor Ron Baptiste, Covenant Confirmers MC AIM/NCOM Attorney: James J. Ramsey (Pops) Keltics MC

Tennessee Member Listing 2012-2013 4-Way In No Way Out MC American Steel MC A.R.M. Bikers For Christ M/M Black Pistons MC Boozefighters MC Bond Slaves MC Brothers of the Wheel MC Confederates MC Confederate Drifters MC Copperheads MC Covenant Confirmers MC Currahee MC Double Knuckle MC E.B.G.B. MC Fire and Iron MC Grim Reapers MC Highlanders MC His Laboring Few M/M In Country MC Iron Horsemen MC Iron Riders MC Keltics MC Leathernecks MC Leathernecks Confederation MC Mountain Rebels MC New Attitudes MC Nightriders MC Outlaws MC Peacemakers MC Soldiers for Jesus MC Sons of God MC Southern Sons MC Southern Souls MC Sons of Pennyrile MC Southern Journeymen MC Tri-Cities Motorcyclist MC True Sons MC Unforgotten MC US Military Vets MC Velvet Hammer MC Vendetta’s MC Vietnam Vets Legacy Vets MC Widowmakers MC Wind and Fire MC Zombies MC

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Pres. Jay Barnes, Murfreesboro 615-364-1029, www.rollingthundertn1.com ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 2 TN Pres. Gerri Tramel , Soddy-Daisy 423-843-1061 www.rollingthundertn2.org

www.bacausa.com Volunteer State Chapter-Lebanon, TN (865-951-4224) E Volunteer State Chapter-Vonore, TN (615-715-5039)

ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 3 TN Pres. Clay Tumlin, Knoxville 865-457-4507 rttn3@comcast.net

BIKERS WHO CARE

www.bikerewhocane.org Bikers Who Care is a organization of motorcycle enthusiasts dedicated to

ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 4 TN Pres. Alan Sipe, Johnson City 423-329-3152, www.rollingthundertn4.com

supporting The Dream Factory of Clarksville, TN by sponsoring Camp Rainbow, a summer camp for seriously ill children

ROLLING THUNDER®, INC. Rolling Thunder Chapter 6 Pres. Mike Morel, Martin City 731-431-2411 www.rollingthundertn6.com

BLUE KNIGHTS

The BLUE KNIGHTS® is a non-profit fraternal organization consisting of active and retired law enforcement men & women who enjoy riding motorcycles. www.blueknightstnv.bizland.com

CMT/ABATE

CMT/ABATE, Inc. is not a •Biker Club”, but a nonprofit, political organization that was formed to preserve feedom and safety for all Tennesseans who enjoy motorcycling. Our major goals are to modify existing laws that are detrimental to motorcycle safety and enjoyment, and to enact new legislation in support of motorcyclists who ride in Tennessee. If you are concerned about preserving personal freedom and motorcycle safety, we urge you to join. Local charters play a major rote in making CMT/ABATE, Inc. an effective organization by contacting their area legislators to inform them of how the local membership feels about issues affecting motorcyclists. PO BOX 1991 MADISON, TN 37116 615-860-1991 Email: lnfo@cmtabate.com

SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS Action Not Words - NOW! Riders organizing to support and defend this country. A political movement of riders. All riders welcome! In addition to welcoming members of any other organization or affiliation. Welcoming non-riders and supporters as well. sonsoflibertyriders.com

T.H.R.C.A.

The Tennessee Honda Riders Club www.mthrc.org

Kerbela Motor Corps Donnie Anderson 865-806-2097 www.shrinershq.org

TN VALLEY RIDERS

Fayettevilte,TN Web page: tennesseevalleyriders.org Doesn’t matter what you ride or who you are everyone welcome. No dues, Fun Riding Group helping those in need. For more info triplef@cafes.net

MOTORCYCLE AWARENESS FOUNDATION OF TENNESSEE WWW.MAFT.US

MAFT is a non-profit 501-C-3 tax-exempt organization. We believe that educating the public to have the proper respect for motorcyclists as well other highway users will reduce accidents and deaths on our highways. We hope to reduce motorcycle accidents caused by inattentive drivers resulting in avoidable right of way collisions. Our Campaign Save A Life program is teaching new drivers in our High Schools awareness and defensive techniques to avoid these accidents. MAFT honors the survivors, the lost and the families of these accident victims at a Vigil each autumn. = Awareness, Respect and Education MAFTINFO@AOL.COM 615-799-8600

Motor Maids, Inc.

GWRRA

We are the world’s largest single-marque social organization for owners and riders of Honda Gold Wing & Valkyrie motorcycles and, some would say, the world’s largest family. Dedicated to our motto, Friends for Fun, Safety and Knowledge, GWRRA members enjoy the freedom of belonging to a not-for-profit, non-reigious and non-political organization. http://www.gwrra.org

MID SOUTH RIDERS

Meetings held the 2nd Sunday of the month @ Shady Rest Biker Bar,Timbte,TN www.midsouthriders.com

A diverse group of women motorcyclists united through a passion for riding while fostering a positive image and promoting safe riding skills. www.motormaids.org

PATRIOT GUARD RIDERS www.PatriotGuard.org

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact PGR State Captain Annette (Dreamcatcher)  615974-3046

ROLLING THUNDER TENNESSEE

www.rollingthundertn1.com Rolling Thunder®, Inc.’s major function is to publicize the POW-MlA issue. To educate the public of the fact that many American prisoners of war were left behind after all past wars. To help correct the past and to protect the future veterans from being left behind should they become prisoners of war-missing in action. We are committed to helping American veterans from all wars! ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 1 TN

ASSOCIATIONS VFW Post 5266 Morristown, TN Riders Association

Open to all active duty, reservists, guards, and retired military members who are eligible to join the VFW. We meet at 7PM the 3rd Thurs. of each month at the Morristown VFW Post 5266. We are a Veteran driven Association, that supports the surrounding areas Veterans. We also support locally “The Daily Bread and Food On Foot.” Contact Michael Jacobs, President VFW Riders Association @ 423-312-6220 or on FaceBook @ VFW Riders Morristown, TN

Christian Motorcyclists Association

Organized in 1975 for the purpose of reaching the motorcycle world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The only requirement for becoming a member of CMA is that you be a Christian. For more info contact the TN State Coordinator, JW Allgood, 615-830-3183 or jwa400@comcast.net.

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TENNESSEE CHAPTERS Athens/Trinity Warriors #994 Kingsport/Rays of the Son #199 Chattanooga/Choo-Choo Wheels Knoxville/Inspiration Riders #64 of Worship #204 McMinnville/Holy Spirit Clarksville/Prayerborne Reigns #887 Eagles #467 Memphis/Wheels of Grace #710 Cleveland/Gatekeeper #615 Morristown/Lakeway Warriors #999 Columbia/Knights for Christ #448 Murfreesboro/Cornerstone Cookeville/Blood Bought Riders #940 Bikers #614 Mt. Juliet/Steel Witness #1205 Covington/Ransomed Riders #898 Nashville/Tribe of Judah #405 Crossville/Cumberland Cruisers Paris/West TN Cruisers for Christ #802 for Christ #1002 Cumberland Gap/Clinton Pulaski/Redemption Riders #1100 Forming Chapter #2508 Springfield/ Bikers of Grace Dover/Iron Horse Revelators #1210 Forming Chapter #2738 Dyersburg/Dyersburg Tullahoma/Outriders for Christ #616 Disciples #978 Union City/Reelfoot Light Jackson/Steelhorse Prophets #709 Riders #897 Jonesborough/Fellowship of the Unashamed #1208

Three Degrees Masonic Motorcycle Club

Contact: Grang Chapter Secretary @ e-mail: ironmason@hotmail. com or Past President: Free Bird @ freebird3d@yahoo.com

Southern Cruisers

www.southerncruisers.net #435 Beech River #273 Bristol #034 Chatanooga #058 Clarksville #410 Copperhill #323 Covington #285 Crossroads #320 Cumberland Gap #423 Eagle Bluff #211 Golden Circle #250 Greenville

#282 Highland Rim #000 Memphis #006 Middle #059 Montgomery Bell #077 Northeast #483 Northwest #153 Shiloh #246 South Central #001 Tennessee Valley #130 Upper Cumberland #193 West Tennessee

Revelators Motorcycle Ministries

Bristol TN Meeting and ride 1st Sat each month @ Burger king on west state st @ 830 am more info frank@ 423-963-5850 chaplin john @423-323-8812 ww.revelatorsmm.com

Wheels Of Faith Ministry

Road Riders for Jesus Ministries

A nondenominational organization with the purpose and goal of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ through word & work, and to provide a Christian atmosphere where we gather and ride our motorcycles. www.wheelsoffaith.com

Confederate Sons Association

Women on Wheels Cool Lady Cruisers Chattanooga, TN joandcharlie@bellsouth.net

Road Riders For Jesus is an independent, Christian faith based, motorcycle ministry that began in 1999 near St. Louis, MO. We now have over 4,000 members world-wide. To find a local chapter, call Mike at 615-828-6446 or go to the national website at www.roadridersforjesus.org. Also check us out on Facebook! Cookeville, Tennessee see our web site for more info www.ConfederateSonsAssociation.com or e-mail larrybarnes@ConfederateSonsAssociation.com

Mercy Hands Street Ministries

P.O. Box 1515 Dickson, TN 37056 931-670-2351

W.O.W.

HOG CHAPTERS The Dragon Chapter, Maryville 865-977-1669

Hog Heaven Ministries Harley Riders for Jesus

Eastern Tennessee Chapter 865-457-7893

GOLD WING TOURING ASSN. CHAPTER HARPETH VALLEY RIDERS

Ghost River Chapter Collierville, TN ghostriverhog.com

American Legion Riders

Golden Circle Jackson Chapter 731-627-2288 www.qchoq.com

Vic Richardson 931-729-1091 hogheavennmislries@yahoo.com

Contact Damy & Joyce Emter, Chapter Directors Phone: 615-244-1456 e: DannyEmter@msn.com

(Post 95, Eastridge,TN) Open to American Legion Members and

Associates. We participate in parades, ceremonies, and promote motorcycle safety. We also provide a social atmosphere for Legion members who share the same interests. Join us for Fun, friendship and interesting motorcycle rides. ezriderintn@aol.com

Black Sheep

Black Sheep Harley-Davidsons for Christ is more than just a motorcycle club. It’s a motorcycle ministry of men and women that ride for Jesus: helping and serving H.O.G. members and chapters across the country. For more information contact Jeff Pierce 615.653.5065 or visit our web site: wwwblacksheephdfc.org

Road Riders for Jesus Motorcycle Ministries

Chattanooga, TN. Meeting and ride 3rd Sat each month @ City Cafe on corner Lee Hwy and Bonny Oaks @ 11:00 AM more info Johnny @ 423 605 5026 ,www.roadridersforjesus.org

Middle Tennessee 615-771-7775 Murfreesboro Chapter 615-849-8025 615-242-6067 The Dragon Chapter, Maryville 865-977-1669 Memphis Chapter webguru@memphishog.com

Covenant Confirmers Ministries Inc. www.covenantconfirmers.org ThunderRoadsTennessee.com THUNDER THUNDERROADS ROADSMAGAZ MAGAZ28 THUNDER ROADS MAGAZ 2829

Nashville Music City Chapter 615-242-6067 Northwestern 731-885-1792 Thunder Creek Chattanooga Chapter 423-892-4888 Tri City Chapter 423-283-0422 Tuckessee Clarksville Chapter (931)648-1607 Twin Lakes Morristown Chapter 423-586-5343 Upper Cumberland Chapter 931-526-3139

The Biker Church

September 2013

Mule Town Chapter 931--540-0099 www.muletownrider.com

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Features

73 AnnuAl SturgiS rAlly rd

by T collieR | ediToR ThundeR Roads Magazine of oklahoMa/aRkansas

“What a wild ride! Seven days of fun, excitement, work, play and amazement” is how I described this year’s Sturgis Rally to the Travel Channel camera crew. While only my third Sturgis Rally trip, I set out to get on the ground floor of what the rally is all about, who makes it happen and how it comes to fruition. I have to say, I succeeded on most levels.

formed. In 1938, an event named “Black Hills Classic” was held in which nine participants raced. This was the unofficial/ official first Sturgis Rally. My calculator was whipped out as I saw this was the 73rd Annual Rally. It didn’t compute. I asked the Museum Director why this was and she told hisToRy of sTuRgis Rally me it was because First, a brief history lesson on there was no rally held Sturgis. The fella that the Sturgis in 1942 due to the gas community still give credit to in shortage and World beginning the rally is Clarence War II. This year, it “Pappy” Hoel. At all events and was estimated that press conferences, I continuously the event brought over heard his name. He purchased an 500,000 riders to the Indian Motorcycle Dealership in Black Hills area. Sturgis in 1936 and the Jackpine Gypsies Motorcycle Club was 12

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Features

on The Road

Many of you haven’t attended this pilgrimage to the Black Hills and Badlands of South Dakota. You’ve heard about all the crazy things that go on in Sturgis. Yes, there’s some wild stuff to be found up there, but there is also miles of beautiful riding in the area. From riding the desert-like Badlands with its’ sharp buttes towering overhead to the gorgeous twists and turns in the Black Forest National Park to the Monuments of Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse, there’s plenty to do for a full week. In the town of Sturgis, vendors take over the buildings where local grocery and hardware stores stood one week prior. Main Street is closed down to only bike traffic. East of town a few miles, rallygoers find the comforts of home away from home at camping “mini” rallies such as Full Throttle Saloon, Buffalo Chip, Glencoe and Broken Spoke. Each of these locations feature camping, bars, bands, stages, contests, bike shows and entertainment of its’ own every day during the rally. On a grander scale, these are all much like the 2 Thunder September 2013 Roads Magazine

took great pride in telling me about making the first cut to the frame when she cut the neck off of the bike. She and instructor, Keith, said that the students do not get a school credit for this. They are only working on it after school and for the experience. I also took the opportunity to speak briefly with Black Hills Special Olympics Board of Director President, Jack Lynass. His smile showed the results of being teamed with the Legends Ride as their program has grown in the past 4 years from 17 athletes to 142 due to the profits self contained local rallies we and resources donated from the experience in our own states. ride. Being a Special Olympics Games Committee member The Rides myself, I can relate to a growing In order to capture much of Special Olympics program. the Sturgis experience this year, I joined a couple rides offered bikeR belles by the Buffalo Chip. The first I also took advantage of the being the Legends Ride. This is Biker Belles Ride which is a a fundraiser ride which drew a ride created to raise awareness record number of riders to raise of the passion, diversity and over $84,000 which was split spirit of women in motorcycling, between the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum and Black Hills Special Olympics. The ride was led by many a celebrity. I met Dee Snider of Twisted Sister; Arlen and Zach Ness who led the ride alongside Buffalo Chip owner, “Woody”; Paul Tuttle, Sr.; Robbie Knievel; Kristy Swanson; Bean’re and more. A large portion of the contributions earned were generated from the sell of the 2013 Sturgis Buffalo Chip Student Build Challenge. Students, under the direction of builder, Keith Terry, turned a 2013 Road King into a beautiful Street Glide. I was able to chat a bit with the female member of Jessi coMbs the student team, Hannah, who ThunderRoadsTennessee.com

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Features

celebrating the woman’s role in shaping the culture, art and history of motorcycling. Secondly, the ride raises funds for worthy local charities. This year, the funds went to the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum to build a new museum facility to house all their memorabilia. It also contributed to Helping With Horsepower a foundation directed by Laura Klock of Klock Werks Custom Cycles. This program helps young women who are at risk or victims of abuse. Laura took a few moments to explain to me that she, “used riding and racing as a parenting tool for her own daughters”. She went on to explain that part of this program is dedicated to working directly with the young women in building a motorcycle and raising funds with ticket sales to a drawing for the bike. She says, “by repairing 14

a motorcycle we hope they can repair what’s damaged in their own lives.” More on this charity and to enter to win the bike go to www.helpingwithhorsepower. com. Over 100 women rode on this ride through the Black Hills and finished with an auction in which a motorcycle donated by Shelly Rossmeyer and re-built by Jessi Combs, who lead our ride, was purchased by Pat Simmons of the Doobie Brothers for his wife of 24 years as their anniversary present. His wife is Cris Simmons who is a motorcycle Hall of Famer herself. I greatly enjoyed meeting the like-minded free spirited women on this ride and riding alongside them.

toast with Brass Balls Cycles builder/owner, Dar Holdsworth, and singer/songwriter,Toby Keith, backstage prior to his concert. Toby has partnered with Dar to create an Award Winning American made motorcycle that will stand alone in the industry. Toby noted that Brass Balls Cycles and Dar, caught his attention with all of the bike rebuilds and giveaways Brass Balls Cycles do for the veterans. In Toby style, there’s no better way to announce the partnership than giving away a bike to a veteran on stage at the Toby Keith concert at the Buffalo Chip in Sturgis. Just before the concert wrapped up, Dar and Toby announced the partnership and presented a bike to Dar’s dad, a bRass balls & Toby keiTh Vietnam Veteran himself, which is The rest of the trip included where Dar’s veteran compassion a lot of riding, highlighted by a began. The crowd went wild and ThunderRoadsTennessee.com

Thunder Roads Magazine 3 2013 September


Features

even Toby had a hard time laughing through his singing from all the joy brought to Dar’s dad. This bike went on to win the Beauty and The Beast Bike Build Off the following day. That’s the wrap on the Sturgis trip 2013. I got to meet some incredibly wonderful people in the Motorcycle Industry and made several great contacts which will bring some tremendous articles our way in the future. Thank you for following our trip at www.facebook.com/ thunderroadsmagazineokar. Dee Snider (above) and Toby Keith (below) were just a few of the celebrities T met at Sturgis.

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STURGIS KENTUCKY BIKE RALLY 2013… A HUGE SUCCESS!

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by: toni mccoy shearon

his year was by far, the best gate, the best entertainment and the best vibe ever

at Sturgis Kentucky Bike Rally (formerly known as Little Sturgis Rally) in Sturgis, Kentucky. And the weather, which is typically non-stirring heat, actually had a consistently gentle breeze every single day, which gave the Rally such a phenomenal perk!

This is the 3rd year that Carlene & Bill Thomas of Custom Bike Wear of Sturgis, KY (brick & mortar store in the middle of town) have been running the show as the primary Promoters and Owners and seriously, it just keeps getting better and better. But they begin planning for next year’s the minute this one ends. All this while they still maintain their gig as “all the cool stuff” Vendor at all major rallies across America. And they set up BIG! as in 20 x 40. But that’s what they do in between until a month or so up until the Rally. And the truthful fact that Carlene and Bill are seriously two of the savviest and nicest people we’ve ever met in the biz is in my opinion a major bonus. Good, decent people of integrity. Makes working with them so enjoyable. This Rally has EVERYTHING you could possibly want in a large-scale Rally. Excellent, well-known bands and supplemental entertainment too; they had a guy; Chad Land, who did these astonishing stunts with fire and incorporated his bike into the show. It was an amazing illusion! We heard there was even a couple that got married there; now that’s

ride through “The Jungle” (I named it that years ago) then we never miss our girl GENEVA performing (who always puts on an A+ show), but then it’s lights out for us. When you’re talking to people all day long and promoting, your mind is mush at the end of the day. So we always grab something yummy from “Food Alley” (the extra-thick pork chops are kick-ass) and then go for an ice-cream cone and call it a night. MaMa & PaPa Thunder go to “Thunder Pete” and watch a good DVD. Carlene & Bill have lowered the price from what it was for so many years; it’s $30. a person and that’s for the official Opening Day of the Rally, which is always on a Thursday. Now, if you want to get in a day early and grab the best possible spot, you can come in on the day before Opening Day and that’s just $10. extra; Early Bird Special. Also this year they began the very smart idea of Pre-Purchasing tickets online and that way there’s no waiting in line and hassle, you just walk right up to a separate gate, get your # confirmed and away you go to pick out your ideal spot for the entire Rally. So, $30. for (4) days of incredible fun is a no-brainer. Another aspect that Carlene & Bill have added that Brian and I were just speaking about is,

memorable for sure, and easy enough to know what you’re doing and where you’ll be every year for your Anniversary. We’ve been coming for 14 years now so we tend to make our ritual 18

that when it was Little Sturgis, the Security they had ended up starting and beating up paying customers far more than they did stopping small skirmishes, they just amplified them. But things

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are handled very diplomatically and off to the side now. They take the person who’s too drunk or rowdy to the side and just tell him/her to either get their chit together or they’ll be asked to leave. So, obviously, Carlene & Bill have introduced a whole new regime on how Security issues are handled. Way to go! Security is for maintaining attitudes gone wild, not for getting people even more worked up and then physically beating them up. Thank you Carlene & Bill for that drastic change, that makes all the difference in the world when trying to enjoy a Rally. We loved the KENTUCKY BIKE RALLY this year and can’t wait until next year. See you there!

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(be sure and go to website to see tons of pics; www.kentuckybikerally.com) *Laminated Schedule of Events Card Makes It Easy To Carry With You Thru-out Rally. Yet another smart concept that Carlene & Bill have incorporated. We saw everyone referring to their laminated cards to know what was going on when and where it was located.

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STURGIS KENTUCKY BIKE RALLy 2013

Jackyl MaMa Thunder P.K.

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Dear Fellow Veterans and Patriots of Tennessee: Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day! Little Bulldog wants to play! Is it just me or has this been the rainiest summer in memory? I count on riding the bike to save money and feel the breeze. I’m not used to being forced into the truck so much during the summer. Last week, as I write this, the rain was so bad they say we got six to seven inches of rain in an hour. It hit just before I pulled out of the drive and there was so much water going over my road I couldn’t make it to the highway. My kids missed some school because their cars would have washed off the road. They were heartbroken –NOT! Maybe Harley makes a pontoon kit and I can run paddles on the rear. This summer’s rain and humidity takes me back to memories of Vietnam. “There I was” - going from Phu Bai to Hue City for something and we had a rain storm similar to the one I experienced last week. We passed some flooded hooch’s set down off the road. There was a young Vietnamese boy butt wet in an inner tube floating in his doorway and out a window just going around in circles. He was laughing and having the best time. Now why didn’t I think of that last week? If you can’t do anything about something you might as well have fun with it. I may keep an inner tube handy and next time it rains like that I’ll see how much fun it is to float over the road and down Stoner Creek. I may give them to the kids too. Gulf coast here we come! I hope the rain slows down a little this month because September 18th I’ll be riding to Americus, Georgia, on my annual trek to “The Ride Home,” America’s premier Prisoner of War event. Volunteers raise donations from businesses, veterans groups and individuals to sponsor former prisoners of war to enjoy a few days over Prisoner of War/Missing in Action Recognition Day weekend. This is a national day of recognition to honor those who have been prisoners of war and the families of those still missing from America’s wars and conflicts. The event is open to the public and you can

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learn more at www.theridehome.com. It is truly the most fulfilling event I attend every year. To spend a weekend eating, talking and celebrating life with these very special American’s is magnificent. You don’t have to know anyone, just come and join the family. You’ll be amazed and welcomed. I’m sure this year’s event will include much discussion about the current investigations into the Defense Prisoner of War/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) and the Joint Prisoner of War/ Missing in Action Accounting Command (JPAC). Senate and House hearings held August 1, 2013 were initiated based on an internal investigation of JPAC effectiveness and a subsequent Government Accounting Office (GAO) study that found both offices have been ineffective and wasteful over the past 20 years in accounting for those listed as missing. Many of us have been raising the red flag on this for years but finally it looks like someone may do something to break up the disorganized mess and put something in place that works. Congress mandated that JPAC account for at least 200 cases per year. DPMO estimates there are a little over 20,000 recoverable out of the 83,000 still missing. The current head of JPAC says that they may be able to improve to the point they can account for 125 cases a year in five years. At that rate it will take 160 years to resolve 20,000 cases. Are we serious about accounting for the missing or not? Shouldn’t we be doing more? DPMO and JPAC operate on the philosophy of “dead until proven alive.” Shouldn’t we change to “alive until proven dead?” Not one committee member mentioned the live prisoners that have been abandoned after every conflict since World War II. Shouldn’t those last known to be alive be the top priority? Change is coming, let’s hope its effective change. America celebrates its veterans these days – I hope they remember the ones who have not returned are veterans too!!! Keep the faith. Thank a vet for the freedoms we still enjoy and support politicians who will bring back the ones we’ve lost. Fly the flag of the people and be proud you’re an American. Hug the families of those still missing because their quest for closure has not ended. Live the good life and ride for those can’t. Bulldog

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Scavenger Product Review I was asked to do a product review as I do most of there work on there Thunder Roads Magazine bike’s so with Brian present we did the Scavenger total oil change system. Brian stood by to ascertain his own opinion of the product. The Scavenger is from the folks at Rogue Chopper. To begin, the Scavenger came nicely packaged with complete instructions that any “do it yourself” person could easily follow. All of the components of the kit are American made which is a plus in my book. The kit I tested was for 2000 and up Twin Cam A motors from Harley. I also had the retrofit kit for the 2000 and up Twin Cam B motors because I was changing the oil in a 2010 Heritage Softail. The machine work on the filter adaptor was flawless and there were no fitment issues what so ever. I changed the oil first in the bike and before putting the new filter on, followed the Scavenger instructions and proceeded to flush out almost a quart of used up, burnt oil out of the engine. I firmly believe that having 100% fresh oil in the engine every oil change will prolong engine life. To quote the old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” You will need to plan on adding another quart of oil when using the Scavenger in your oil changing ritual. It is needed to completely flush the oil system. That is a small price to pay for longer engine life. Brian and I were very pleased and impressed with the Scavenger oil change system and will be using it for all the oil changes in my shop from here on out. Please check them out at www.roguechopper.com and let’s support our American small businesses. By: Opie at Ridgid Cycle Works and I personally would recommend this kit to anyone whom cares about the life of your engine, Brian Shearon, Co-Founder, Thunder Roads Magazine

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Dyna Supplement Kit

Legacy Dyna Fitting Kit

Legacy Dyna Supplement Kit

Legacy Sportster Fitting Kit

Legacy Sportster Supplement Kit

Softail Supplement Kit

Sportster Supplement Kit

Touring/Road King Supplement Kit

All Scavenger and supplement kits include: A 30-Day 100% Satisfaction Guarantee! Toll-Free Help Just a Phone Call Away • Comprehensive Instruction Guide Demonstrational DVD • Scavenger Logo Sticker

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YOUR THUNDER AD COULD GO HERE FOR $40 A MONTH! Call 615-792-0040 32

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DEALERS & SHOPS Appleton’s Harley-Davidson/Buell 2501 Hwy 41A Bypass Clarksville, TN 37043 931-648-1607 Bost Harley Davidson 4600 Delaware Ave Nashville, TN 37209 615-297-7500 or 866-374-2759 Boswell’s of Cookeville 1421 Interstate Dr Cookeville, TN 38501 931-526-3139 Boswell’s of Downtown Nashville 180 2nd Ave. N. Nashville, TN 37201 615-242-7078 Boswell’s of Nashville 401 Fesslers Ln Nashville, TN 37210 615-242-6067 Boswell’s of Rivergate 2200 Gallatin Pike N Madison, TN 37115 615-855-1001 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Murfreesboro 2250 NW Broad St Murfreesboro, TN 37129 615-849-8025 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Memphis 2160 Whitten Rd Memphis, TN 38133 901-372-1121 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Jackson 326 Carriage House Dr Jackson, TN 38305 731-422-5508 Bumpus Harley Davidson 325 S Byhalia Rd Collierville, TN 38017 901-376-1121 H.D. of Columbia 1616 Harley Davidson Blvd Columbia, TN 38401 931-540-0099 H-D of Cool Springs 7128 S. Springs Drive Franklin, TN 37067 866-667-8836 hdcoolsprings.com Knoxville Harley-Davidson 605 Lovell Rd Knoxville, TN 37932 865-671-2454 Knoxville Harley-Davidson 5800 Clinton Highway Knoxville, TN 37912 865-689-2454 September 2013

S&G Custom Cycles 1114 Galloway St Columbia, TN 38401 931-381-7282 www.sgcustomcyles.com Smoky Mountain Harley Davidson 1820 Lamar Alexander Pkwy Maryville, TN 37801 865-977-1669

BARS & RESTAURANTS Almighty Smokin’ BBQ 3371 U.S. Hwy41-A South Clarksville, TN 37043 Bsteinsultz@Gmail.Com 931-358-3633 Bent Wrench Roadhouse 4724 Ashland City Road Fredonia, TN 37146 931-362-4774 www. thebentwrenchroadhouse.com Double E Bar/Grill 4957 Lebanon Pike Old Hickory, TN 37138 615-885-3400 Hooter’s Clarksville 750 N. Riverside Dr. Clarksville, TN 37040 931-920-8400 Hooters of Harding Place 217 Largo Drive Nashville 615--331-0842 Hooters of Rivergate 654 Wade Circle S. Goodlettsville 615-851-6499 JUJU’s 1078 N Broadway Portland, TN 37148 615-323-5871 The Shed 1820 Lamar Alexander Pkwy Maryville, TN 37801 865-977-1669 Silverado’s Rivergate & Lebanon 709A Rivergate Pkwy. Goodlettsville, TN 37072 615-851-4490 Bike Nite Wednesdays

MINISTRIES Covenant Confirmers Ministries, Inc. Pastor Ron Baptiste A “Biker Church” for All Bikers & Their Families. (615) 384-9010 www.covenantconfirmers.org

PAINT & PINSTRIPING 3D Head Custom Paint™ Knoxville, Tn 865-621-9836 Ask for: Kenny or Tony Our Graphics Will Blow Your Mind! Visual Edge Pinstriping by George 1050 Spain Hill Rd Lascassas, TN 37085 www.v-edge.com 615-273-2877

SERVICES

R E K I B DLY FRIENCTORY DIRE Tennessee Biker Medical Clinic 300 10th Ave E Springfield, TN 37172 www.covenantconfirmers. org

TRAILERS L&S Motorcycle Trailer Rentals Ask for Larry Cell: 615-308-1288 All size trailers for your needs!

LEGAL

Affordable Lights & Audio LED lights & stereo’s for all bikes. By appointment only. We come to you. Call Mechele @ 615-496-1493 for pricing.

AIM/NCOM Richard M. Lester 800-531-2424/ 1-800-on-a-bike www.onabike.com

Charlie’s Shoe & Boot Repair 108 W Main St Lebanon, TN 37087 615-449-6065

The Boyd Firm Motorcycle Attorneys 865.246.1800 www.theboydfirm.org “We’ll Sue The Bastards.”

Collin’s Interiors 3704 Nolensville Pike Nashville, TN 37211 615-977-2188

Pig and Pie Catering www.pigandpie.net 615-356-5652 We Specialize In Smokin’ Nashville’s Best Butts!

TRAVEL Mechele MacDaniel AAA Travel 1701 Mallory Ln, Ste 200, Brentwood Tn 37027 mmacdaniel@aaasouth.com 615-376-1601 ext 265 Call for all your travel needs.

The V Tavern - Cafe 2442 River Road Ashland City, TN 37015 615-792-1695 www.thevtavern-cafe.com

MOTORCYCLE INS. C. Bo Brumit Ins. Agcy., 5608 Hwy 11 E. - Suite C3 Piney Flats, TN 37686 Toll Free: (866) 700-4218 Specializing in Biker Ins. Rates ThunderRoadsTennessee.com

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NEWS BYTES

NCOM BIKER NEWSBYTES Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish, National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)

FEDERAL BILLS WOULD PROTECT MANUFACTURERS OF ETHANOL FUELS

Even as motorcyclists and others are calling for further research and testing of fuels containing ethanol, and the fact that E-15 (gasoline containing 15% ethanol) is not approved for use in any of the millions of motorcycles on and off-road, two bills have been introduced in Congress to protect the fuel industry from lawsuits resulting from its use. Illinois Congressman John Shimkus, otherwise a longtime friend of motorcycle riders, has authored H.R.1214, the Domestic Fuels Protection Act of 2014; “To provide liability protection for claims based on the design, manufacture, sale, offer for sale, introduction into commerce, or use of certain fuels and fuel additives.” Likewise, Texas Congressman Gene Green has offered H.R.2267, the American Fuel Protection Act of 2013, which “Deems a claim for liability against a qualified entity as a claim against the United States for damages resulting from, or aggravated by, the use of transportation fuel containing ethanol in concentrations greater than 10% to operate an internal combustion engine. Abrogates U.S. sovereign immunity and makes the United States exclusively liable for such claims. Limits awards to actual damages sustained by a claimant. Defines “qualified entity” to mean an entity engaged in the manufacture, use, sale, or distribution of: (1) transportation fuel or renewable fuel, or (2) products which use transportation fuel. Grants U.S. district courts exclusive jurisdiction of any civil actions on such claims.” Both bills have been referred to committee, and either proposal would indemnify fuel manufacturers and suppliers from legal actions for damages caused by their product, leaving U.S. taxpayers to foot the bill for clean-ups from leakage and limiting their liability to actual damages by a claimant, such as the out-of-pocket cost to rebuild an engine damaged by E-15 gas. MISSOURI INITIATIVE MAY PUT RIDERSHIP TO A VOTE

The secretary of state’s office has announced that a petition to restrict passengers on motorcycles has met standards for circulation, and supporters can begin collecting signatures to get the proposal on the 2014 ballot. The proposal, to be put to voters to decide, would require Missouri motorcycle operators to be at least 21 and complete a rider-safety class before they could carry passengers. The restrictions would not apply to those who have had had a motorcycle license for the previous two years and were born in 1984 or earlier. The first violation would be a misdemeanor with a fine of up to $300. Penalties would increase for repeat offenses. PINK PLATES PANNED BY MAINE MOTORCYCLISTS

The Maine lawmaker who was the driving force behind the popular pink ribbon breast cancer awareness license plate in that state says the response to creating a motorcycle version has been lukewarm. The Maine Cancer Foundation says nearly 70 people have committed to the motorcycle license plate, but 500 pre-orders are required for the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to begin production. State Representative Meredith Strang Burgess (R-Cumberland) 34

has told the Journal Tribune newspaper that she’s setting a deadline of year’s end for collecting pre-orders. If the pre-registrations are gathered, it will take three months for the state to produce the plates before the first ones will be seen on Maine motorcycles. BIKERS ROUSTED AFTER SHOOTING SUE POLICE

Members of a motorcycle club claim their constitutional rights were violated when Arizona officers rousted them at gunpoint at a campsite where a man shot his wife and two others before killing himself at a 2011 bike rally near Flagstaff. The Sons of Hell have filed a federal lawsuit last week against the Arizona Department of Public Safety and the Coconino County Sheriff’s Office seeking monetary compensation. Its members claim officers were trying to collect information for a criminal street gang database, even though they knew club members weren’t involved in the shooting. MOTORCYCLISTS LAUNCH $100M SUIT AGAINST QUEBEC INSURANCE BOARD

The Motorcyclist Movement of Quebec, which represents more than 8,000 motorcyclists in the province, says sky-high hikes in insurance premiums are unfair and discriminate against motorcycle owners, and held a protest in downtown Montreal to launch a $100 million class-action lawsuit against Quebec’s automobile insurance board (SAAQ). The organization’s president and founder, Michael Mosca, says license plate registration fees have increased by 400% since 2008. “They’re being discriminated upon. It’s a very abusive law,” he says. However, the SAAQ says the premiums are needed in order to compensate victims involved in motorcycle accidents. The board adjusted insurance premiums after a review revealed a $109 million deficit in 2006. While Mosca admits that motorcycles are higher-risk vehicles, he claims that “When there are accidents between cars and motorcycles, 94 or 95% of the time it’s the car’s fault, so the motorcyclist is being punished when he’s not at fault.” Instead of increasing fees, Mosca suggests the SAAQ should do more to educate people about road safety, adding that it’s time people change their minds about motorcycles. “Motorcycles consume less fuel, they cause less pollution, less damage to the roads, which is beneficial to the whole planet,” he said. NEW LAW COULD DOOM MOTORCYCLE FIRMS IN EAST AFRICA

Motorcycles account for over 65% of motor vehicle registrations every month in Kenya, but new rules requiring motorcycle assemblers to use locally generated parts, when no companies in East Africa are manufacturing them, could spell doom for motorcycle firms. Manufacturers are raising the red flag over the new law, in force effective July 1st, which stipulates a 25% duty remission on motorcycle assemblers who fail to adhere to the new regulations which require parts such as seats, mudguards, wheel rims, breakgears, exhaust pipes, tires, chassis, batteries and shock absorbers to be manufactured within the East African Community (EAC). Assemblers are concerned about the capacity of the region to produce the specified parts, and they say such a move is likely to compromise safety standards, kill employment opportunities and make motorcycles unaffordable. “The EAC region lacks capacity to produce these parts,” said Honda Motorcycle Kenya Ltd chairman,

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Isaac Kalua. “Currently, there is no particular company that can AIM-2622-F-Ad for Tennessee.indd 1 produce any of these parts.”

safe motorcycling into three facets: safety technology in the vehicle, 11/1/11 5:06 PM safety deriving from rider equipment and safety through rider training.

The new law crafted by the EAC seeks to encourage consumption of locally produced materials, but it is now causing jitters within the manufacturing fraternity. The Kenya Association of Manufactures (KAM) called the decision “a bit premature” and KAM Chief Executive Officer Betty Maina told Business Beat, “We are currently investigating to establish whether there is local capacity to produce those parts in Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania before we advise the Government on the timing of that decision.”

FEDS PETITION FOR MANDATORY ANTI-LOCK BRAKES ON ALL STREET BIKES

MOTORCYCLE HELMETS BANNED IN PHILLIPINE CITY DUE TO BOMBINGS

For an easier identification of criminals, local authorities in Cotabato City have banned the wearing of motorcycle helmets after several deadly car bomb blasts. City police said the measure will help them identify known criminals in the area, and are also hoping that the city council will support their move, radio dzBB has reported. Several countries had cautioned their nationals to take precautions in traveling to Mindanao, in the Philippines, due to the bombings. Cotabato City is a mixed Muslim-Catholic city on the main southern island of Mindanao where Muslim insurgents have waged a decades old rebellion that has claimed 150,000 lives. BMW DEVELOPS INFLATABLE SAFETY CLOTHING

BMW Motorrad and Dainese have announced that they are to cooperate in a joint development of innovative motorcycle safety clothing, partnering to develop motorcycle rider equipment with fully integrated inflatable protectors. The first product to emerge from the cooperation will be the DoubleR RaceAir one-piece leather suit designed exclusively for use on racetracks, and the next stage will be to develop the Dainese D-Air Street System as a retrofit solution for BMW Motorrad. The system is scheduled to be launched in 2015, following successful completion of all the crash tests. BMW Motorrad customers will then be able to retrofit the innovative safety system to their motorcycles. Based in Germany, BMW Motorrad is the only motorcycle manufacturer to have developed the complete range of rider equipment ever since the 1970s - from motorcycle helmets to rider suits, boots and gloves. The ABS pioneer says it has always regarded motorcycling and safety as being inseparably linked and anchored in the “Safety 360°” principle, which breaks down the overall concept of September 2013

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) and the Highway Loss Data Institute (HLDI) have petitioned the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) to upgrade the Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard (FMVSS) No. 122 Motorcycle brake systems (49 CFR 571.122). “This standard should be strengthened to require ABS on all new motorcycles manufactured for on-highway use in the United States,” wrote the IIHS and HLDI in joint letter on May 30, 2013 to NHTSA Administrator David L. Strickland. Research by IIHS and HLDI indicate that ABS reduces the motorcycle fatal crash rate by an estimated 31% and the collision insurance claim rate by an estimated 20%. ALLSTATE INTRODUCES “GOOD RIDE GRANTS” FOR MOTORCYCLE SAFETY IDEAS

Allstate Insurance Company announced the newest initiative under its Rider Protection Project portfolio – a series of programs all focused on making the roads a safer place to ride. The Allstate Good Ride Grant contest will award a combined total of $25,000 to five contest winners with the best ideas for advancing motorcycle safety and awareness. Now through August 31, 2013, contest applicants may submit their Good Ride Grant submissions through the designated tab on Allstate Motorcycle’s Facebook page at facebook.com/AllstateMotorcycle. Entries are welcome from anyone, including local governments, dealerships, rider clubs and individuals. A six-person judging committee will determine the top 15 finalists, whose ideas will then be featured on the Allstate Motorcycle Facebook page where fans can vote for their favorites and the top five will each receive a $5,000 grant to help put their ideas into action. QUOTABLE QUOTE: “Every man owes a part of his time and money to the business or industry in which he is engaged. No man has a moral right to withhold his support from an organization that is striving to improve conditions within his sphere.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) 26th President of the United States

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SMOKY MOUNTAIN RUMBLE Date: 09/05/2013 - 09/08/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Smoky Mountain H-D 1820 W. Lamar Alexander Pkwy Maryville, TN 37801 Contact email: sylviac@usridernews.com Contact phone: 478-237-3761 The Smoky Mountain Rumble has a new date and a new home! We’re excited to be partnered with Smoky Mountain Harley-Davidson and the Blount County Partnership in Maryville Tennessee. This year’s Rumble will open on Thursday September 5th and run through Sunday September 8th on the grounds of Smoky Mountain Harley-Davidson. Your VIP registration gets you all access to; Access to the vendors, VIP exclusive party Thursday night Sept 5th in the private room at the Shed, Access to live music Friday and Saturday (shuttle bus to nearby hotels) 3 pin run on Friday through some of the best roads in the Smoky Mountains, Poker Run Saturday, Drawing to participate in the dice roll to win a new Harley-Davidson, Event T-shirt, Raffle Prizes, and Swag bag stuffed with free stuff from our vendors and advertisers! JOHNSON CITY MOTORCYCLE DAYS Date: 09/06/2013 - 09/08/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: John City TN Contact phone: (336) 643-1367 All motorcycles, all tourists, all locals, all ages, all are welcome to attend this fantastic three day event Johnson City Motorcycle Days is a First Friday Weekend Event. This is a family oriented event, which includes music, local businesses, in state and out of state business, motorcycle related services, motorcycle product vendors, arts & crafts vendors, food vendors, motorcycle displays and attractions, motorcycle rides/tours, bike shows and much more! Johnson City Motorcycle Days provides the opportunity for local and non-local bands / entertainment the opportunity to shine in a festival atmosphere. ONE STEP UP POKER RUN Date: 09/07/2013 - 09/08/2013 Time: 11:00 AM Location: Thunder Creek H-D 7720 Lee Highway Chattanooga TN 37421 Contact email: dnprks1@gmail.com Contact phone: 706-996-6303 Come Join The Freedom Riders MC of Chattanooga Tennessee as they host a poker run & after party on September 7th 2013. All proceeds go to benefit The Chattanooga Community Kitchen. $10 a hand. 3 hands for $20. 50/50 drawing. $5 catered BBQ plates at the after party. Poker Run Purse Prize will be determined according to participation. Rain or Shine. Registration begins at 11AM. First bike out at 11:30AM. Last Bike out at 12:30PM. Last bike in at 5:00PM. Ride ends at The Backyard Grille 4021 Hixson Pike Chattanooga TN 37415. The Chattanooga Community Kitchen is a freestanding social service agency focused on meeting needs. Our primary goal is to lessen the poverty and despair among the homeless in the City of Chattanooga and to restore dignity and self-reliance to those we serve. In all that we do, we strive to serve the physical, social and spiritual needs of the homeless and less fortunate without expectation of recompense but instead out of love and compassion for mankind. WLJTS 2013 BIKERS FOR BOOKS POKER RUN Date: 09/07/2013 - 09/07/2013 Time: 8:00 AM Location: Weldon City Park 109 Central St Martin, TN 38237 Contact email: kcobb@wljt.org Contact phone: 800-366-9558 We will start at the Weldon City Park in downtown Martin (behind the post office -- same place as last year). We will, once again, have routes for motorcycles and cages and a separate route for bicycles. Motorcycles and cages register and begin between 8 - 9am. Bicycles register and begin between 11:30am - 12:30pm and ALL AWARDS AT 3:00pm back at the park. Cost is $15 per player. We hope some of your folks can join us! THANK YOU BICYCLE CITY AND BUMPUS HARLEY-DAVIDSON OF JACKSON FOR BEING OUR SPONSORS!!

Reservations: 1-800-250-8613 and 615-797-3901. More information to come. CHOPPER HILL FALL BIKE RALLY Date: 09/13/2013 - 09/15/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: 1152 Gap Road Altamont TN 37301 Contact email: chopperhillbikerally@yahoo.com Contact phone: 931-308-5500 $30 admission. Come party in the fresh mountain air on Chopper Hill. 21 or older adult bike rally. Free primitive camping, bike games, adult stage games and bike show. Beer and various vendors on site. 3 miles from town. RV Hookups for an additional charge. 6TH ANNUAL ONE EYED JACK MOTORCYCLE RUN Date: 09/14/2013 - 09/14/2013 Time: 10:00 AM Location: Highland Park Church 5710 Knob Rd Nashville TN 37209 Contact email: oneeyedjackcharity@yahoo.com One of the largest in Middle TN - $500 in Cash Prizes this Year! 10 am Registration - 11 am First Bike Out - 4 pm Last Bike In - All proceeds benefit The Last Minute Toy Store Charity & Community Outreach Projects. BIKERS FOR BABIES Date: 09/14/2013 - 09/14/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Knoxville HD - West - 605 Lovell Rd Knoxville TN 37932 Contact email: drewmilestn@gmail.com Contact phone: 865-233-4237 The March of Dimes is partnering with Farmer’s Insurance for its Annual Bikers for Babies event and is calling all bikers! Rally together, rev up your engines and join us as we take a scenic ride through Knox, Roane, Loudon counties to help raise money to save babies. Registration starts at 9:00am and kickstands up at 11:00.A 70 mile ride. Stop halfway at a park on the lake in Kingston and Finish at Calhouns at the Marina in Lenoir City around 2:00. (Lunch, auction, music all afternoon. UT vs. Oregon football game starts at 3:30 pm on all the big screen tvs. The game is in Oregon.) 1ST ANNUAL RIDE TO REMEMBER CARLA DILLARD $ ANGIE LAMBERT Date: 09/14/2013 - 09/14/2013 Time: 10:00 AM Location: Willies Wet Spot 1208 S Lowry St Smyrna TN Contact phone: 615-491-6760 Brian Please help us honor Carla Dillard and Angie Lambert by bringing awareness to the issue of domestic violence. This benefit will begin with a ride and end with live music and entertainment. Registration for the ride is from 10am - 1130am and the ride begins at noon. The first stop will be Coach’s Eastgate Grille in Lebanon and then we will end at Scoreboard Bar. ALL BIKES WELCOME! The cost for this ride is $25 per bike. $10 per passenger. Admission at the door of Scoreboard Bar for folks NOT involved in the ride will be $10. We can’t stress enough...you don’t have to ride to participate in this event. The festivities at Scoreboard Bar should begin between 330pm & 4pm. All proceeds will go to the Domestic Violence Program & Sexual Assault Services in Murfreesboro TN. Discounted hotel accommodations within walking distance are available at The Fiddlers Inn. Mention the “Ride to Remember”. Phone number for Fiddlers Inn is 615-885-1440. For more info call Brian Dillard. TELLICO FALL BIKER RALLY Date: 09/19/2013 - 09/22/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: 801 Steer Creek Road Tellico Plains TN 37385 Contact email: fun@tellicobikerrally.com Contact phone: 423-337-8390 or 423- 4 Days of Music, Fun & Vendors By the Tons! Free Camping & Firewood at Bike Camping Area ONLY! Karaoke During the Day. Live Bands Friday & Saturday Nights. RV & Trailer Camping Area Free With Tickets. Bike Show & Burnout Competitions! Biker Games. Free Prizes. Showers. No ATV’s. No One Under 21 Allowed!

MUSIC CITY BOOZE CRUISE TENNESSEE STATE CMA RALLY Date: 09/20/2013 - 09/22/2013 Date: 09/13/2013 - 09/15/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Time: 9:00 AM Location: Bikini Beach Bar 1297 Antioch Pike Nashville TN 37211 Location: Montgomery Bell State Park 1000 Hotel Avenue Burns, TN Contact email: klutch@smartech.net 37029 Contact phone: 615-831-1370 Contact email: dneal23@comcast.net This event is open to one and all. Spread the word to all your friends, and Contact phone: Dan 615-758-9773 invite them all to be here for the best little biker party in the South. Music, A great time with lots of fun and fellowship! Games, Contests and More! Montgomery Bell State Park offers a variety of accommodation options. All lodging in hotel must go through their office. 36 ThunderRoadsTennessee.com September 2013


SMITH/WILSON & STONES RIVER CMT ABATE POINTS RODEO Date: 09/20/2013 - 09/22/2013 Time: 6:00 PM Location: 5859 Hartsville Pike Lebanon TN 37087 Contact email: smithwilsonabate@gmail.com Contact phone: 615-310-3436 Kim Points Rodeo & Bike Show. Located between Lebanon & Hartsville. Camping & Points Events! $10.00 per person or $15.00 per couple. Camping allowed Friday and Saturday nights. BIKE SHOW: 1ST, 2ND & 3RD TROPHIES! $5.00 Entry Fee. Classes: Antique, Sportster, Shovel Head, Foreign, Evo, Twin Cam, Dresser, Custom and Best of Show. Vendors are Welcome. $20.00. Includes 2 admissions. For more info call Kim or David Marlin at 615-319-8915. BSM MOTORFEST 2013 Date: 09/21/2013 - 09/21/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Pickwick Landing State Park Counce TN 38326 Contact email: relaxed_89@hotmail.com Contact phone: 731) 689-3135 This is one of the best upcoming shows in the region! With this year comes a new venue at the beautiful Pickwick Landing State Park located on the Tennessee River. We have room for anything and everything and encourage anything and everything to come! There will be Top 50, 15+ Speciality Awards, and Choice Awards! Along with the Car, Truck And Motorcycle Show, we will be having a Poker Run, 5K Run, Live MMA/Boxing Match, Live Music all day and night, vendor booths, raffles, giveaways, Dyno-on-the-go, Kid activities and much more for everyone! All proceeds for BSM Motorfest benefit Cystic Fibrosis! Entry Fee will be $20, day of show only. which includes 2 wrist bands. Spectator fee will be $5.There will be no outside coolers and no alcoholic beverages allowed! Violators will be removed with fine. (State Park Law) REDNECK RUMBLE SHOW & SWAP Date: 09/21/2013 - 09/21/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: James E Ward Agricultural Center 945 Baddour Parkway Lebanon TN 37087 Contact email: scooter@bothbarrelspromotions.com Contact phone: 615-364-1828 Motorcycle & Car Show - Custom Choppers, Bobbers, Hot Rods. Huge Swap Meet. Live Music. Vendors. Good food. 1ST ANNUAL PIG COOK AND HOG RUN Date: 09/21/2013 - 09/21/2013 Time: 10:00 AM - 9:00 PM Location: Crichfield Park 431 East Main St Halls TN 38040 Contact email: chrisjones@jsanderstrucking.com Contact phone: 731-432-9138 Poker Run benefitting JDRF and the Carl Perkins Center. First bike out at 10am last bike in at 4pm. $200 to the best hand and $100 to the worst hand. Door prizes, awards, music, food and drinks to follow the Poker Run. We will also have a cook-off, games, door prizes, and enter for a chance to win a new Dodge truck. Fun for the entire family! JUNE BUG BOOGIE FALL MOTORCYCLE RALLY Date: 09/26/2013 - 09/29/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: 115 Waterloo Road Cookeville TN 38506 Contact email: boogie@junebugboogie.com Contact phone: 931-498-2250 The Famous June Bug Boogie Too Fall Rally is the Wildest Biker Party in Tennessee! Bike Games & Field Events, Wild Contests Every Day, Live Bands All Weekend Long & A Whole Lot More!!! Located on private property with free camping, free hot showers, vendors, ice sold on location. Biker Bar on location. Adults Only, 21 or older to enter! Check back often for updates on the schedule and entertainment! BISHOP FAMILY & FRIENDS 6TH ANNUAL RELAY FOR LIFE MOTORCYCLE RIDE Date: 09/28/2013 - 09/28/2013 Time: 10:00 AM Location: Grainger County Park 230 Grainger County Park Dr Rutledge TN 37861 Contact phone: 865-828-3705 Sue Ride starts at 11am. Entry fee $10.00 Per Rider. All proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society. Off Lakeshore Dr (Hwy 375) on the north shore of Cherokee Lake, approx 3.9 miles east of Hwy 92. For more Information Contact: Joe Edmonds (865) 223-3178 or Lester Short (865) 617-1953. Join us for an enjoyable ride across NE Tennessee’s beautiful country roads and join the Fight Against Cancer. Door prizes and refreshments after the ride. ROLLING THUNDER POKER RUN Date: 10/12/2013 - 10/12/2013 Time: 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM Location: Appletons H-D 2501 Highway 41A Bypass Clarksville TN 37043 Contact email: rober22959@aol.com Contact phone: 502-264-1879 Poker run to benefit Montgomery County Veterans Transportation. September 2013

Montgomery County Transportation provides transport for veterans to the Veterans Hospital in Nashville. Rolling Thunder KY1 chapter is dedicated in assisting organizations involved with aiding veterans. Event Includes: Prizes, Music, & Food. Registration 900am. 1st Bike Out 1000am. Last Bike in 200pm. OUTLAWS 2ND ANNUAL FALL OUTDOOR SWAP MEET Date: 10/19/2013 - 10/19/2013 Time: 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM Location: 1022 Free Silver Rd Nashville TN 37207 Contact email: koryarcidino@icloud.com Contact phone: 615-226-9156 Old school swap meet. $5 admission. Bike show registration 10am till noon. Trophies at 2pm. Booths 10x10 for $25 or 10x20 for $40. Booth set up Friday evening or Saturday 7-10 am. HORSEPOWER BY THE RIVER 2 Date: 11/01/2013 - 11/03/2013 Time: 8:00 AM Location: Smith County Ag Center Carthage TN 37030 Contact email: scookprost@yahoo.com Contact phone: 615-489-3236 Custom Car, Truck , Bike, & Ratrod show and swapmeet. 3 miles off exit 258 on I40. $100.00 Best of show Vehicle sponsored by Music City Speed & Nostalgia. $100.00 Best of Show Bike sponsored by T & A Cycles. Friday, November 1, 8am-8pm vendor setup. Saturday November 2, show hours 8am-3pm. 7am-12pm late vendor setup. Car Registration, 8am-1pm. Cruise-in & Kickoff party at Timberloft Restraunt from 5pm-8pm Saturday night. Sunday show hours 8am -3pm. Car registration 8am-1pm. Sunday 3pm-awards. Also door prizes every 30 minutes. Special awards of $100.00 cash for best of show vehicle and best of show bike. Admission is $15.00 adults and $5.00 children. 10 and under free. Swapmeet 10x10 booth is $25.00 each. Call Shawn cook for more details. EAGLE TOY RUN Date: 11/02/2013 - 11/02/2013 Time: 12:00 PM Location: Appleton H-D 2501 Highway 41A Bypass Clarksville TN 37043 Contact email: appletonharleyda@aol.com Contact phone: (931) 648-1607 Eagle Toy Run consists of everyone coming together to support our military, retired, veterans, and active military. We will all meet at Appleton’s ride out to Ft.Campbell to drops the toys off and return to Appleton’s for a live concert, food and drinks! THE MUSIC CITY MOTORCYCLE SHOW Date: 11/09/2013 - 11/10/2013 Time: 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM Location: Williamson Ag Expo 4215 Long Lane Franklin TN 37064 Contact email: info@musiccitymotorcycleshow.com Contact phone: 770-279-9899 The Music City Motorcycle Show roars into town this November for the first time ever! The show will feature domestic and import motorcycles presented by local dealers as well as over 200 vendor booths from all over the country selling hundreds of products for the motorcycle community at discount prices. Plus custom builders and show features. All Indoors! Family Friendly - Our shows are a great time for the whole family and will have entertainment for the kids. A complete list of entertainment can be found on the website closer to the show. Hours: Saturday 10-7, Sunday 10-6 EASYRIDERS BIKE SHOW TOUR 2014 - NASHVILLE Date: 02/01/2014 - 02/01/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Nashville Convention Center 601 Commerce St Nashville TN 37203 Contact email: info@easyridersevents.com Contact phone: 800-962-9857 The Biggest, Badest Bike Show in North America! Featuring the World’s Top Bike Builders. The Industries Top Manufacturing Reps Showing of all of the Industries Latest Products. Live Music from your Favorite Bands. Peoples Choice and Judged Classes - Your chance to have Your Bike Featured in One of Our Magazines. Visit the Easyriders Events website for complete details, and exhibitor & competitor information. THE SHED EVENTS AT SMOKY MOUNTAIN H-D® Saturday Sep 7, 2013 Whitey Morgan & The 78’s w/Zach Ryan & The Renegades Event Time: 8:00 PM Saturday Sep 14, 2013 The Bottle Rockets w/Itchy and The Hater Tots Event Time: 8:00 PM Saturday Sep 21, 2013 James McMurtry with special guest Corb Lund Event Time: 8:00 PM Saturday Sep 28, 2013 Unknown Hinson w/The Cathouse Prophets Event Time: 7:00 PM

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3-D HEAD CUSTOM PAINT® KNOXVILLE, TN 865-621-9836 Ask for KENNY or TONY

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning…kinda’ depressed actually. Feeling no excitement or surprises were left in my life. I missed surprises. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’ I thought...... well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember. My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfasts and didn’t say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss, Rick, said, ‘Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday! ‘ It felt grateful that at least someone had actually remembered. I worked until one o’clock , when Rick knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the second greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’ So, we went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had three martinis each, shared an appetizer and then cappedit off with 2 glasses of top-shelf Cognac.I enjoyed my birthday lunch tremendously, and had a sweet little buzz going as a bonus. On the way back to the office, Rick said, ‘You know, it’s such a beautiful day... we don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?’ I responded, “You’re the boss, what did you have in mind?” He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner.’ After arriving at his drop-dead, incredibly gorgeous house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’ “Umm, Ok.’ I nervously replied. He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake .... followed by my husband my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’. And I just sat there.... On the couch.....Totally naked, totally mortified and totally surprised. Duct Tape is like “The Force”. It has a dark side and a light side and it holds the world together. Never miss a good chance to just shut up & learn. 38

Top 10 Country Western Songs: 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine. 9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I Damn Sure Woke Up With a Few. 8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me. 7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’. 6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win. 5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here. 4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him. 3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger. 2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer. And the Number One Country & Western song is: It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day. This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman, in a brand new Cadillac, doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror, putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds... to continue shaving, and when I looked back she was half-way over in my lane, still working on that makeup job. As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver, which then knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear, which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned the hell out of Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn iPhone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call to my yoga trainer. Damn women drivers! Totally self-absorbed! The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. The preacher continued, “God forgives all transgressions and so shall I. The truth will set u free.” Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a Wizard under the sheets!”

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