TNT Magazine / Issue 1496

April 30- May 6 2012 Issue 1496 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

TICKETS TO THE BOURNEMOU TH SEVENS FEST IVAL

ULTIMATE GIG BINGE Check out Camden Crawl’s top line-up

LATE-NIGHT DELIGHTS Our guide to what’s on after hours in London

LINGERIE FOOTBALL Lowdown on the latest sport to hit Australia

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E D I R A V U L L ONE HE

a a in Mongoli k d o v k il m ld sour-came n a g in id r e s p for hor We saddle u + COOLEST HAIR SALONS KATHMANDU GIANT’S CAUSEWAY TOP 5 MYTHICAL BEASTS

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER We all know London is a city that never sleeps, but unless it’s eating or drinking, there’s not much else to do in the capital after hours – until now. Museums At Night will see daytime venues opening their doors ‘til a little later.

Check out our feature on P10. And don’t forget to send us your TNT memories for our special 1500th issue – see more at tntmagazine.com

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON

12

DRINK & EATS

14

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

17

LONDON SOUND

18-19

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

20, 23

COMPETITION

28

CHATROOM DONALD MCRAE

29

LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

32

LIFESTYLE

33-41

SHOPPING

33

HEALTH & BEAUTY

34-35

CAREERS

36-37

LIVING

40-41

NEWS & SPORT

42-55

TRAVEL

57-80

FEATURES NIGHT VISION

8

Discover London’s best after-dark attractions with Museums At Night

ROCK ON, CAMDEN

The lowdown on this weekend’s music and arts extravaganza, Camden Crawl

WHO WILL RULE LONDON? 46

58

NEWS

59

We put the tough questions to Boris and Ken in the lead-up to the May 3 election

LATE DEALS

62

A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE 60

HOTSHOTS

65

Paddle your way around Northern Ireland’s stunning Giant’s Causeway

TOP FIVE

66-67

TIPS & STUFF

68-69

CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

82-113 114

8

24

DIARY

48 HOURS IN...KATHMANDU 74-75 Photos: TNT Cover: Getty

24

30-31

PEDALLING DREAMS

70

Jump aboard a bike and cycle through Germany’s beautiful Osnabrück

KHAN YOU KICK IT?

76

Vast and untamed, Mongolia makes for one hell of an adventure

70 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Oliver Jones Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

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Eminem decided he needed more than rapping

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004

Shhh... SECRET LONDON BREAKIN’ CONVENTION SADLER’S WELLS

What makes a person ‘hip hop’? That is just one of the questions posed by this dance and performance spectacle, which hits the London stage for its ninth year. Featuring the acrobatic moves made famous by the Street Dance film franchise and dance groups like Diversity (Britain’s Got Talent 2009 winners), with performers from the UK and around the world, it lives up to its name by challenging our expectations about the male- dominated world of hip hop (12-strong female group Boadicea) and our preconceptions about disability. £15+

May 5-7 Roseberry Avenue, EC1R 4TN

Angel

sadlerswells.com

BURLESQUE GAMES

ECO CHIC MARKET

THE OTHER CINEMA: LA HAINE

The world’s finest burlesque performers showcase their sexy skills in this weeklong event. Expect flesh to be shown, tastefully, of course, and eyebrows to be raised at some of the most surprising, beguiling and willfully provocative performances that push the boundaries of striptease art.

It’s good for the environment and on your doorstep, so you’ve got precious little excuse for not supporting it. Selling foods, crafts, art and design, all sourced locally and made with its eco-morals proudly emblazoned on its sleeve, this family-friendly market shows you how it could, and should, be done.

Matthew Kassovitz’s searing examination of urban youth La Haine -– which made Vincent Cassell a Hollywood A-lister – is the focus for this touring cinema project, which features a live score

by Asian Dub Foundation.

It hits Tottenham and Limehouse, before heading off to Paris.

Sunday, 10am-6pm Spitalfields City Farm, Buxton Street, E1 5AR Liverpool Street ecochicoutdoormarket.com

May 2-4 490 Commercial Road, E1 0HX Limehouse futurecinema.co.uk

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

£15+

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

00 4

May 7-13 Various londonburlesquefest.com

FREE

£18.90

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Top bunch: the Pearly Kings and Queens

PEARLY KING AND QUEEN CROWNING The Carpenter Arms

The Pearly Kings and Queens is an East End tradition of charitable work. The families’ founder, Henry Croft, was an orphaned streetkid who raised money for other poorly souls in London, and who sewed pearls to his clothes to make him stand out as he did so. His lineage is celebrated this year, with the crowning of a next generation of Pearly Kings and Queens in an East End pub. Cor blimey, guv, it’s a right old Cockney knees-up!

FREE

May 6, 2pm-7pm 135 Cambridge Heath Road, E2 5RN

Bethnal Green

thepearlies.com

FESTIVAL!

SWAMP JUICE

It’s been the coldest, rainiest April in ages, so cast your mind forwards to the sun-soaked summer (maybe, hopefully...) with this photography exhibition – food, music, theatre, sport, and royals, even – celebrating festivals, festivities and all-round funlovin’ merriment from all corners of the world.

A shadow-puppet musical (think operasinging mice) with more than 60 characters, and a 3D finale, Jeff Achtem’s show (which sold out at Edinburgh) is one of a kind. So if you want to learn about life in a swamp, told from the point of view of its inhabitants, by a gonzo performer, this is definitely your bag.

Daily/ Until June 4 National Theatre, Southbank, SE1 9PX Waterloo nationaltheatre.org.uk

Daily, 7pm/ Until May 5 Soho Theatre,W1D3NE. Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

FREE

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£10+

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LONDONNEWS

follow us on

@tntmagazine

GAY FESTIVAL TO BE CANCELLED Pride House Festival, created to combat homophobia and with Elton John as a headliner, has been scrapped due to funding issues.

The big-name event – which was due to happen on Clapham Common between July 26 and August 12, during the Olympics – was scrapped by backers after the cast of the musical Priscilla Queen of the Desert withdrew from negotiations.

Show producer Garry McQuinn said: “We were in discussions and had several meetings, but we felt that they would have needed significant ticket sales to cover the cost of the event, which rendered it uneconomical for us. We were at the table with them but we never completed on the deal as it was too risky.”

I’ll be honest with you, I spent last week under a pillow in my bedroom Simon Cowell tugs at the heartstrings after a publicity-grabbing biography by BBC journalist Tom Bower comes out

ON THE TUBE THIS WEEKEND’S CLOSURES/WORKS

DISTRICT: Suspended between Turnham Green and Ealing Broadway on Saturday, Sunday and Bank Holiday Monday.

NORTHERN: No service between Camden Town and High Barnet/Mill Hill East on Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

Replacement buses operate.

PICCADILLY: No service between Acton Town and Uxbridge on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Replacement buses operate.

HAMMERSMITH & CITY: No service between King’s Cross St. Pancras and Barking on Sunday and Monday.

CIRCLE: No service between Hammersmith and Aldgate (via King’s Cross St. Pancras).

METROPOLITAN: No service between Baker Street and Aldgate on Sunday and Monday.

Clapham Junction and Kensington (Olympia) on Sunday.

VICTORIA: Line suspended on Sunday and Monday. Replacement buses operate.

WATERLOO & CITY: Closed on Sundays and public holidays.

6

Bakers in pasty tax protest Hundreds of “livid” bakers gathered outside Downing Street About 300 angry pasty manufacturers met on Whitehall to object to George Osborne’s attempt to slap 20 per cent VAT on hot takeaway snacks.

The march, organised by bakery chain Greggs and the National Association of Master Bakers, started at Pudding Lane and protesters congregated at Richmond Terrace opposite Downing Street.

Six baking industry representatives and Cornish MPs also presented a petition of nearly 500,000 signatures to Number 10.

Stephen Gilbert, the MP for St Austell & Newquay, said: “It is simply wrong for the government to impose a tax on the humble Cornish pasty while luxurious caviar remains tax-free.”

Osborne and Cameron have been branded as out of touch with real people

and were warned that if pasty prices were raised by 20 per cent, hundreds of jobs could be lost.

The debate received media attention after David Cameron claimed to have recently enjoyed a large pasty from West Cornwall Pasty Company at Leeds station, which closed two years ago.

Ken McMeikan, the chief executive of Greggs, said customers and bakers were “livid about this proposed tax”.

“I cannot think of a worse time for the government to consider forcing ordinary, hard-working people to pay 20 per cent more for popular, everyday food, especially with the news ... the country is now officially in a double-dip recession,” he said.

“This is the wrong tax at completely the wrong time.”

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

The Sony World Photography Awards Exhibition hits London this week, showcasing top contemporary documentary, sport, travel, portraiture, landscape, fashion, commercial and conceptual photography by both pros and amateurs.

Visitors will see which eye-catching images snared the winning prizes, plus the ones that came close, alongside cutting-edge mixed media installations using video and 3D, and a host of events, talks, seminars and workshops.

Last year – the exhibition’s first time in London – the competition received 105,000 entries from 162 countries.

The display is on daily at Somerset House until May 20.

Tickets (£7.50) are available on the door.

Photos: Getty; Giovanni Frescurai

OVERGROUND: No service between

Hot topic: jobs may be lost

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Right in the night The capital’s museums and galleries stay open after hours for an unforgettable culture-fix WORDS REBECCA KENT For anyone exasperated by the mobs at museum and gallery exhibitions, there is an opportunity to see London’s cultural delights by the atmospheric half-light of night, after the usual clamour of tourists has receded. For one weekend in May, the capital’s museums will open their doors at a time they’re usually bolted shut, to lay on one-off events. Will there be spooks and shivers and things coming alive? This is your chance to find out.

Museums At Night is an engaging alternative to the usual nightlife diet of pubs and clubs, and in some cases the party atmosphere is just as banging.

At the Science Museum in South Kensington you can bop the night away at a silent disco. Alternatively, down pints of Meantime ale at the Royal Museums in Greenwich, then go headto-head with river boffins in a pub quiz about the Thames.

At the London Transport Museum in Covent Garden, you can turn an old map into an artistic masterpiece, or put your cartography skills to the test.

Craig Taylor, author of Londoners: The Days And Nights Of London Now, will also be there to give

the lowdown on the capital’s cool cats.

Rosie Clarke, marketing manager of British charity Culture24, says:“This is one weekend we can throw a positive spotlight on all the arts and heritage in London. Often it’s the big venues that get a look in, but some of the smaller ones are just as amazing.”

Museums At Night is the UK leg of a European initiative called Nuit des Musees, and it has exploded in popularity since its 2009 conception.

More than 400 national galleries are putting on everything from twilight film screenings and offbeat shows to nocturnal talks and tours – usually enjoyed with a drink in hand and music.

Clarke suggests taking a closer look at Leighton House in Holland Park.

“It might seem unremarkable, but it’s got an incredibly opulent interior, and they are putting on a Victorian experience for this occasion,” she says.

Illumination will be distinctly low at The Old Operating Theatre Museum and Herb Garret in Southwark, where you can observe an 18th-century-style amputation by gaslight. Fortunately, the procedure takes just 28 seconds.

“People tend to have extreme

reactions,” marketing officer Valentina Lari says. “We’ve had people faint before, so this one’s definitely not for anyone with a weak stomach.”

For something more highbrow, the National Portrait Gallery in Westminster is conducting life drawing classes, inspired by the late Lucian Freud.

Or take part in an ancient artefact lottery in the Museum of London’s archeological archive and unveil anything from Roman shoes to false teeth and toenails.

Additionally, you can explore the labyrinthine home of eccentric 19thcentury architect Sir John Soane in Lincoln’s Inn Fields. Only candlelight will reveal its wonders, including an atmospheric crypt holding the sarcophagus of Pharoah Seti I. Clarke adds: “We are getting some lovely drawn-out evenings now and these events are a perfect, and most unforgettable way to enjoy them – glass of wine in hand.” ❚

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MORE LONDON NIGHT-TIME EVENTS ›› Museums At Night May 18-20. Prices vary culture24.org.uk

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MUSEUM OF LONDON TWILIGHT TOUR MOORGATE

FABER AND FABER TOUR COMPETITION BLOOMSBURY

Roman shoes, false teeth and witching bottles holding toenails and exotic animal bones – you just don’t know which of London’s artefacts you’ll find inside a brown box, sat upon 10km of shelving in the museum’s archological archive. This is a unique opportunity to find out.

You’ll also get the chance to concoct Roman lip balm, and knit chainmail.

Six people will win the opportunity to peek inside the expansive literary archive of Faber And Faber in the publishing giant’s London office, not normally open to the public.

Take a guided tour with archivist Robert Brown through 80 years of literary treasures, including a rejection letter written to William Golding, TS Eliot’s book reports and works by WH Auden. There will also be a poetry reading by one of Faber’s most acclaimed poets, Jo Shapcott.

FREE

Fri, May 18. 6.30pm-9pm 2 London Wall Buildings London Wall, EC2M 5UU Moorgate museumoflondon.org.uk

TALKING TATTOOS AT THE HORNIMAN MUSEUM FOREST HILL The fact he’s heavily tattooed himself will certainly give credence to art historian Matt Lodder’s talk about how non-Western tattoo traditions influenced ink practices and art forms in the West. The Irie Dance Theatre will also perform a special dance to tie in with the museum and garden’s Body Adorned exhibition.

FREE

Fri, May 18. 7pm-9pm Horniman Museum & Gardens, 100 London Road, SE23 3PQ Forest Hill horniman.ac.uk

ZOO LATES REGENT’S PARK

NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM NIGHT SAFARI SOUTH KENSINGTON

LOVE AND LUST AT UCL MUSEUMS EUSTON Join the chase for love in a hunt, with seductive clues, for objects of love and lust. See how ancient artists depicted love and indeed, animals too.

Here, love is a game, and the first to conquer ancient and animalistic affairs of the heart win a prize. But don’t worry, you can all kiss and make up over a free drinks reception when you’re done.

FREE

£10 You haven’t seen a party animal until you’ve been to this annual event where, every Friday in June and July, the zoo not only remains open beyond its usual hours, but it lays on a schedule of animal feeds, talks and demonstrations.

There’s also a silent disco and a Wii Just Dance Party Bus to taper off an evening gawping at chimps and giraffes. Twisted Cabaret will also add some sparkle to the evening, and a comedy troupe will plant itself in the aquarium. When all that horsing around makes you hungry, graze your way through an international street market, and sip on Pimm’s. The zoo has never been such fun.

£28 Treat yourself to a scientist-led tour of the iconic Central Hall, and get the lowdon on some of venue’s most intriguing specimens.

Every Fri, June–July. 6pm-10pm Regent’s Park, NW1 4RY Regent’s Park zsl.org/zoolates

Sun, May 13. 5.30pm-9pm Bartholomew Lane, EC2R 8AH Bank bankofengland.co.uk/museum

10

Mon, June 11. 7pm-10pm Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD South Kensington nhm.ac.uk

BANK OF ENGLAND MUSEUM BANK Few of us will be familiar with the touch of a 13kg gold bar. But this is your chance to get aquainted with one, plus discover a unique collection of banknotes at this treasure of a venue.

FREE

Fri, May 18. 6pm-9pm University College London, Gower Street, WC1E 6BT Euston Square ucl.ac.uk

Fri, May 18 Bloomsbury House, 74-77 Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DA Holborn faber.co.uk/archive/

THE NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY LATE SHIFT CHARING CROSS There are a string of events scheduled here for the museum’s own ‘Late Shift’ programme, which links into its celebrated Lucian Freud: Portraits exhibition. Among them are drop-in life drawing classes, painting in the studio, and, once a week, DJ Edward Otchere will pay homage to the genius artist’s greatest influences – one being his muse Leigh Bowery, with a set curated from Eighties ballroom disco classics, and another, Johnny Cash, whose songs will be played to create a soundscape. All this, while you unwind at the Late Shift bar. Other programmed events include titilatingly-themed tours, such as ‘Queer Perspectives’ and ‘The Origins of Sex’, plus talks and film screenings.

FREE

Until May 31. Times vary St Martin’s Place, WC2H 0HE Charing Cross npg.org.uk

Photos: Turner: Joseph Mallord William; David Jensen; National Portrait Gallery; National Maritime Nuseum

£6

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THE MUSIC FANCLUB EVENING AT THE BRITISH MUSIC EXPERIENCE NORTH GREENWICH Music buffs, this will be just your bag.

Each area of the museum plays host to a vibrant discussion, led by a member of the public. Expect them to rattle off anything from memories of the Marquee Club, the first Beatles concert, or dancing at the Factory.

Others are encouraged to ask questions, add info and learn among friends.

SOHO HOTEL OHSO SHORT! SOHO Get comfy as six short films are reeled off, courtesy of the Museum of Soho. The screenings, including Bear

by Noah Edgerton; Love You More, by Sam Taylor Wood; and To Die By Your Side by Spike Jonze, will be preceeded with an Introduction by film historian Thomas Hamilton. £8

FREE

Sat, May 19. 6.30pm-9.30pm The O2, SE10 0DX North Greenwhich britishmusicexperience.com

NATIONAL GALLERY TALK AND DRAW: TURNER’S ‘RAIN, STEAM AND SPEED’ CHARING CROSS

Sun, May 20. 6.30pm-8.30pm 55 Dean Street, W1D 6AF Leicester Square mosoho.org.uk

Taking inspiration from the gallery’s Turner exhibition, here you can listen to a short talk, then respond to it by drawing, with assistance from an artist. The gallery is also hosting Friday night life drawing sessions, with a different theme and materials each week.

FREE

Fri, May 18. 6.30pm-7.30pm Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN Charing Cross nationalgallery.org.uk

TERRY O’NEILL AT THE RAGGED SCHOOL MUSEUM MILE END Legendary photographer to the stars, Terry O’Neill will regale audiences with insights into his life and career during his 1960s heyday. It was then he created iconic images of stars such as Frank Sinatra and Clint Eastwood, and bands such as The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

As well as serving as a Victorian-era school for the destitute, this venue was once the headquarters of Lewis Leathers, makers of the leather jackets worn by many of the stars O’Neill has immortalised in his images.

Photos: Urban Portraits Horniman Museum; Terry O’Neill; Sir John Soane;s Museum; Thinkstock

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FREE

Thu, May 10. 7.30pm-11pm 46-50 Copperfield Road, E3 4RR Mile End raggedschoolmuseum.org.uk

DESIGN MUSEUM AT BEDTIME BUTLER WHARF Stay until 11pm, listening to lullabies and shoe tales, as you celebrates the career of French footwear designer Christian Louboutin.

ROYAL MUSEUMS LIQUID HISTORY PUB QUIZ GREENWICH

£11

Fri, May 18. 8pm-11pm 28 Shad Thames, SE1 2YD Tower Hill designmuseum.org

SCIENCE MUSEUM SILENT DISCO SOUTH KENSINGTON FREE Slam dunk da funk at this recurring highlight of the Science Museum’s annual programme of Lates events, which also includes the Pub Quiz and anarchic comedy from in-house comedy troupe Punk Science.

Various dates. 6.45pm-10pm Exhibition Rd, SW7 2DD South Kensington sciencemuseum.org.uk

Think you know everything about the Thames? You can put your knowledge to the test in a pub quiz and, when it gets stressful, sink pints of London Porter to keep your cool. All will be revealed by beer writer and convivial raconteur Peter Haydon on the night. The evening links into the museum’s Royal River exhibition. £5

Fri, May 18. 6.30pm-10pm Park Row, Greenwich, SE10 9NF Cutty Sark rmg.co.uk

SIR JOHN SOANE’S MUSEUM CANDELIT EVENING HOLBORN Marvellously eccentric architect Sir John Soane designed this venue to house his own collection of paintings and architectural salvage, and now, not only is the house deemed a design inspiration, it’s also a tranquil place full of unexpected treasures.

They will be lit up by candelight, making for a wonderfully atmospheric evening. Usually a oneTuesday-a-month event, the museum is opening again tonight as a one-off, but be warned, queues are expected to be snaking well out the door, so get there early to avoid a long wait. £25

Fri, May 18. 6pm-9.30pm 13 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, WC2A 3BP Holborn soane.org

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MYLONDON

EGYPT & MIDDLE EAST www.topdeck.travel/deals

ON SALE! What baffles me about London is, even though I’m from Paris, a cosmopolitan city; I can’t get over how international London is. You meet people from all over the world here; the whole globe seems to congregate.

London’s best-kept secret is Black Room on New Bond Street. It’s a secret room with magic names.

When I want to chill out I head to Shoreditch House at the weekend, but I am often to be found at The Soho House during the week; it is a great place to kick back and relax in beautiful surroundings.

The most interesting person I’ve met is Pierce Brosnan. I’ll always remember how, on the very first day of opening the New Bond Street Gallery in 2005, he stepped into the room. For a minute, it felt as if I had been transported into a James Bond film! I offered him a coffee, we had a long chat, and he bought a painting.

My favourite place for a drink is The Arts Club, there is always an inspirational mix of people and an unbeatable atmosphere.

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For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat a huge cheeseburger at Electric in Notting Hill.

My perfect weekend would be a long and joyful brunch with friends and family, all followed by an interesting exhibition either at the Tate Modern or at the Saatchi Gallery.

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This summer, most of London will be pre-occupied with the Olympics – but I’m hosting the arts alternative to this in the form of two incredible exhibitions. One is a pop-up show by highly acclaimed French photographer Rancinan in Shoreditch. We are also planning one of the biggest pop-up art shows ever to hit London with Mr Brainwash (of Exit Through the Giftshop).

The last naughty thing I did – and I will be in trouble when my wife reads this – was go to The Box in Soho until 6am when she was away in Brazil!

Five words that sum up London ... Cosmopolitan. Open-minded.

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trips for 18 to 30 somethings L8291 / Y2992

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*Terms & Conditions apply. Flights not included. Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.63, which must be paid locally in USD. Morocco local payment must be paid locally in GBP. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Subject to availability.

26/4/12 14:26:45

exclusive tnt europe deals! ! y l n o e m i t d e t i m i l Lines open 9:30am Tuesday 1st May

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HOW TO BOOK: 1-PICK YOUR TOUR 2-PICK YOUR DATE 3- PICK UP THE PHONE!

deal 1

FRANCE, MONACO, ITALY, VATICAN CITY, SWITZERLAND, NETHERLANDS, GERMANY, BELGIUM & SPAIN

europe explorer 17 days, 9 c0untries £ FIRST

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european expedition 15 days, 7 c0untries £

FRANCE, MONACO, ITALY, VATICAN CITY, SWITZERLAND, NETHERLANDS, GERMANY & BELGIUM * Excludes compulsory food fund of £79

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26/4/12 11:56:46

LONDONDRINKS

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THE GOOSE

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No pretensions: The Goose

PUB THE SCENE The Goose is something of a well-kept secret for young Fulhamites.

A traditional old-man boozer, it offers the cheapest drinks in the area and perhaps the cheapest food, too. Once inside, the pub offers a sparse, spacious interior with TVs. Everyone’s friendly and down-to-earth – there are no airs and graces here.

A paved garden out the back means there’s somewhere to hang in the summer.

THE GRUB Don’t go here if you’re on a diet, as it’s so decently priced, you can’t help but tuck in to more food than usual. The menu is extensive – everything from an all-day breakfast and a host of bloomers to burgers, curries and fish are on offer.

Vegetarians are also catered for. It’s not fine dining by any stretch, but wholesome, hearty pub fare that lines your stomach for all the cheap beer you’ll drink. Don’t leave it too late to order or you’ll go hungry – and get too drunk.

BEHIND THE BAR There’s all the usual suspects – Carlsberg, Kronerburg, and an evershifting range of ales. Wine and cocktails, too.

BILL PLEASE Ales from £1.99; pints for £2.39; wine from £6.95 per bottle, £2.50 a glass; spirits: four bombs for £8; cocktails: two pitchers for £13 every Friday after 5pm. You’ll be fed for well under a tenner.

VERDICT This is the place to go with a big group of friends who all will be keen to fill their stomachs without emptying their wallets. JAHN VANNISSELROY

248 North End Road, SW6 1NL

3 OF THE BEST EAST END GARDENS

goosefulham.co.uk

West Brompton

WATER POET

93 FEET EAST

As well as rooms seemingly appearing from all directions, this Spitalfields boozer has a spacious outdoor area, which proves an oasis of sunny calm by furious Liverpool Street.

This Brick Lane live music venue has a cobbled outdoor terrace which hosts barbecues and a throngs of hipsters who pack in for summer boozing and daylong soaking up of sunshine.

waterpoet.co.uk

93feeteast.co.uk

STRONGROOM BAR AND KITCHEN You’ll find a top courtyard in this Curtain Road boozer, with a profusion of greenery, and streams of sunlight, making it perfect for lazy weekends. Worth a stop. strongroombar.com

MIXED AND LADIES

ACTiON Netball

THURSDAY NIGHTS IN ACTON 3rd May – 5th July (10 weeks - Beginners Welcome!)

REGISTRATIONS CLOSE 1st May 2012 £350 per team | £50 per individual (£5 per game) Females playing MIXED and LADIES = £75 (for both) Different payment options available 0787 2606 763 | www.action-netball.co.uk | action.netball@gmail.com

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1496 London drink.indd 14

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BITE SIZE

Gregg’s tables: just like the school hall

SEXY GIN A new London gin, distilled in Peckham Rye, captures the glamour of the 1940s. The provocative Sparrow girl ‘Ginger’, posing on the label is enough on its own to make you want to reach for the bottle, but its concoction of grapefruit, ginger and citrus peel botanicals only increases its allure. Try a good slug over ice, topped with quality tonic and a twist of grapefruit peel. It’s stocked at Drake and Morgan bars, including The Drift in Bishopsgate. drakeandmorgan.co.uk

HOT BREKKIE IN A POT Ever wished for a fry-up without the fry? Beans, Bacon And Bangers, the ultimate savoury breakfast from Stewed! combines baked haricot beans with smoky bacon lardons, chunks of gluten-free, British pork sausage and hunks of mushroom – all steeped in molasses and shot through with spices – in a single pot. Zap it in the microwave, cook it on the hob, or whack it in the rucksack for perfect festival fodder. It costs £3.79. ocado.com

HEAVEN IN A BURRITO You can’t beat a burrito bursting with rice, black beans, seasoned meat and zingy guacamole when hunger strikes.

And a new eatery is aiming to please with its new venue in Wimbledon.

Tortilla is a cut above your average burrito joint, with all sauces and fillings made on site, and ingredients are thoughtfully sourced. It has just opened up its newest branch on The Broadway.

GREGG’S TABLE SEVENTIES BRITISH THE SCENE Masterchef co-presenter Greg Wallace parlays TV fame into his second restaurant (after Wallace & Co in Putney), at the Bermondsey Square Hotel. The brasserie, with al fresco tables, is in a regenerated square at the unexceptional end of otherwise hip Bermondsey Street. It offers diners a nostalgic Seventies Britain nosh-up in a faux-retro-styled open-kitchen restaurant. The decor is of muted colours and tongue-in-groove panelling – not unlike a hotel reception.

A cast iron bra and Y-fonts on the toilet doors point at Wallace’s jocular approach to the whole venture. He is around tonight, greeting diners with cringeworthy familiarity. That the Seventies hardly gifted the nation with culinary excellence (in fact, to some it evokes abhorrent memories of school dinners), indicates the owner is taking a bold step with his chosen theme. My experience suggests it may have been the wrong one.

THE GRUB The Welsh rarebit, and egg salad are a humdrum start, but there’s shock and horror when my dining partners (we all had a taste) almost choke on several strands of what appears to be hard plastic cooked inside a plate of thickly battered Spam fritters (ham hock, actually). It’s duly reported, and our waitress is as mortified as we are. Needless to say, it puts a dampener on proceedings.

Thankfully mains came free of foreign bodies. Unfortunately, neither a heavily crumbed, bloated chicken kiev, with whipped blob of mash, nor an unambitious beef stroganoff can lift our spirits.

There’s great variety in the cellar, and London ales on tap.

Starters and desserts from £5; mains from £13; glass of wine from £4.50; beer from £3.90.

VERDICT There’s an overwhelming sense someone’s not taking this place seriously.

However, there’s hope in head chef Jordi Vila, who has since come from Vivat Bacchu in Farringdon to join the team. He sure has his work cut out. REBECCA KENT BEHIND THE BAR BILL PLEASE

tortilla.co.uk Bermondsey Square Hotel, Tower Bridge Road, SE1 3UN

greggstable.com

Bermondsey

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GET IT OFF YOUR TEXT

LETTER OF THE WEEK

Text TNT and your message to

81707*

If your parents, your boss, and three of your close friends invite you to a party at a clinic it’s a trap

Jen nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3am

Late night binge If I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please don’t ask me if I want a tour.

Girl power claire, It’s not that I’m a bad boyfriend. I’m just a horrible person.

Honest Joe I long for a relationship with someone who doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing out on something cool on tv or the net.

PJ How do they fit so many islands into such a small bottle of dressing??!!

Ted

Mark saw a girl today with a face even an Instagram filter couldn’t fix.

Butters My facial tattoo is going to look so cool when I’m working as a janitor for McDonalds.

Ink’d up

I can see where the author is coming from in an anti-government perspective (Is Anzac Day still relevant, TNT 1496).

I’m sure there are a lot of Americans in particular who aren’t happy with their kids away at war.

But the world wars have happened, and we should recognise the individuals who lost their lives or limbs for their children and generations below them, regardless of the political problems surrounding it.

Lara Jones, via Facebook

LUCKY STRIKE Aren’t the Tube maintenance workers lucky they can strike. In most parts of the world, you get replaced by the unemployed grateful to have a paying job just to put a roof over their head and food on the table.

Aziza Al Busaidy, Facebook

I do not think moving away from remembering past wars to the current political fights is more important (Is Anzac Day relevant? TNT 1495). There are some who forget the cause and effect of history on the present day. We must honour each other as individuals, but it doesn’t mean we become robots, as what was the point of fighting for something so worthwhile in the first place?

Julia Trask, via Facebook Made it to Hyde Park Wednesday morning for the 5am Anzac Dawn Service.

It’s always moving. The rain

stopped as I got there, and started again just as I was leaving. Loved the fly past.

Melanie King, via Facebook

Lara wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventures.com

YOUR TWEETS

THE REAL ISSUES In the run up to the London mayoral election, talk of tax returns and the Tube is all very well. But in these final days let us see the candidates being quizzed about matters they have thus far managed to dodge, such as child protection –forced marriage and child trafficking.

Mark Jones, Chair of Trustees, Daughters Of Eve

LOAD OF BULL The Running of the bulls in Pamplona is a cruel spectacle which has no place in a civilised society.

Why do people get pleasure from chasing a terrified creature to its death?

Liz Burke, via email BAR REVIEW /14 LATE DEALS /62

Tweet us @tntmagazine @DarrynLee Writing my story for @tntmagazine’s 1500th issue – hope they like it! “fireFoxyK ‘Justin Notices All Of Us’ LMAO no! @michellegriff OK, now we have Rupert Murdoch – in pyjamas? – at Chequers hobnobbing with JK Rowling #leveson gets surreal

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Delan Adikari: What’s the duration of Justin Bieber’s new song about the girl who claims he got her pregnant ... 30 seconds?

Suzette La Pierre: I may be cruel but I saw the video of the man eating a goldfish and thought ‘hmm it’s only a goldfish!’

Lo Smedile: Tube floors are sticky and the seats are damp, and the drivers get their day off when we’re all late for work again. London Underground workers, they’re all fucking lazy.

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25/4/12 11:41:48

LONDONSOUND

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It’s The Cribs, or the unfortunate son of Slade

festival

watch

SUMMER SUNDAE

THE CRIBS The Troxy, 490 Commercial Road, E1 0HX TUES, MAY 8 | DOORS 7PM | £20

Aug 17-19. De Montfort Hall & Gardens, Leicester. £105 (weekend ticket) Leicester

summersundae.com

This festie boasts a safari theme, so don your best, er, lion outfit and get ready to camp with other likeminded animals. Whether you’re in your civvies or not, though, there’s the likes of Public Image Ltd, Death In Vegas, Deer Tick, New Zealand’s Tiny Ruins, Ghostpoet, Katy B, and Mercury-winner Speech Debelle, with Billy Bragg celebrating 150 years since Woody Guthrie’s birthday, amidst the gleefully eclectic line-up to keep you entertained for the weekend.

When The Cribs swept out of west Yorkshire at the turn of the millennium, they were quickly daubed with ‘the next Libertines’ tag, a moniker that was only half accurate then and is as good as irrelevant now. Over the past decade, they’ve become one of the UK’s most underated bands. With their fourth album, In The Belly Of The Brazen Bull, out May 7, they’re about to send this label packing, too.

Made up of brothers Gary (bass), Ross (drums) and Ryan Jarman (vocals/ guitars), The Cribs hit the UK indie scene as Pete Doherty and Carl Barat briefly had it all before they spectacularly threw it away. They made a name for themselves with their low-fi aesthetic, and scuffed-up sounding records, such as their self-titled debut, as they eschewed complicated production techniques and favoured recording ‘live’ with minimal tweaking. This DIY drive even found them out on tour, pitching their mobile numbers online, asking fans to contribute for fuel money and tinnies, which helped cement their dedicated fanbase.

A major label deal with Warners produced 2007’s Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever, and a chance encounter in Portland saw them welcome The Smiths’ Johnny Marr to their ranks for album four Ignore The Ignorant. They’ve toured the world with indie legends Pavement, punk icons The Sex PIstols, and NY-trend setters The Strokes. The upcoming Steve Albini-produced Bull, which keeps their distinctive jarring-guitars-with-addictive-melodies sounds – will see them earn the crown for good. Goodbye ramshackle tour buses – hello mainstream acclaim!

Limehouse

troxy.co.uk

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1496 Lon Sound.indd 18

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NEW BAND

BLOOD RED SHOES GIG THURS, MAY 3. 7.30PM £12

This alternative rock duo’s third album In Time To Voices has seen them adopt a more epic, ambitious sounds to earlier, grungy, punky efforts. They’ve got a headline show at Shepherd’s Bush booked for the autumn, so catch them at this small venue while you can.

Heaven Under The Arches, WC2N 6NG Embankment heaven-live.co.uk

EGG 9TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

READ THE CROWD BANK HOLIDAY SUNDAY

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, MAY 5. 10PM-12PM £10+

SUN, MAY 6. 7PM-2AM £3

Ibiza mainstay Minka Kruse, Kraftwerkinfluenced Kaiserdisco, top-20 hit-maker D Ramirez, and Holland’s Edwin Oosterwal are just some of the names confirmed for this north London club’s ninth birthday, with a host of faces from the venue’s history and clubland on hand to make sure the party doesn’t relent.

David Minns, Lee Rich and guests bring a spring time vibe to the no doubt rainy bank holiday weekend, with south London sound system Read The Crowd ensuring the party vibes are on full throttle. With a ‘you decide’ policy to music, too, you can make sure you fave tunes are going to get played all night long.

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

Hed Kandi bar SW4 7UR Clapham South claphambar@hedkandi.com

BILLY VINCENT THE BUZZ SO FAR It’s easy to see why they’ve been tagged “the perfect festival band”. Their brand of folk rock is hummable, crosses genres to ensure unique appeal, and most of all, is accessible, moving and rewarding.

THE CRITICS SAY “They mix a variety of styles from Americana to country scuzz, and shanty rock, their influences from Springsteen and Dylan to Bright Eyes – and they play with the heart of rock ‘n’ roll.”

VultureHound.com THE PLUG

Debut album She out May 7 through Something Nothing Records. They play The Bowery May 14.

Photos: Getty, TNT

36-38 New Oxford Street, WC1A 1EP Holborn, £8 thebowerylondon.co.uk

LITTLE BOOTS

SPECTRUM WAREHOUSE PARTY

PROFESSOR GREEN

GIG

CLUB

GIG

FRI, MAY 4. 7.30PM £12.50

SAT, MAY 5. 10PM-6AM £20+

SAT, MAY 5. 7PM £20

She shot to the top of the 80s-influenced electro-pop pile back in 2009 with her debut album Hands. Apart from a US-only EP, though, she’s done naff all since. However, she’s back now, new record in the pipeline, and probably hoping it’ll be a case of “as you were”.

Ladyhawke might want to have words, though.

Chase And Status are gearing up for a very special DJ set with MC Rage. Sub Focus are in town too, along with KillSonic, Major Look, Disclosure – hot off the back of a SBTRKT support slot – and Spectrum fave Redlight, to name but a few, lined up for this massive bank holiday weekend warehouse bash.

Winning a rap competition set this London MC on his way, before which he was signed up to Mike Skinner’s label for a while. Sampling INXS to chart success followed, and the man also known as Stephen will be taking last year’s At Your Inconvenience out on the road here, and at a festival near you over the summer.

XOYO 32-37 Cowper Street, EC2A 4AP Liverpool Street xoyo.co.uk

Great Suffolk Street Warehouse SE1 0NR Borough Search ‘Spectrum Warehouse Party’ on facebook.com

O2 Academy Brixton 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL Brixton o2academybrixton.co.uk

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1496 Lon Sound.indd 19

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26/4/12 14:11:05

CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 30 Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin, house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £7.

Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, house, garage and reggae.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer before midnight/ ladies £5, free before 11.30pm.

BOOK NOW!

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £1.50.

Xxtra Terry-James Lynch hosts a night of house, electro and pop, plus fashion. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Monday Madness DJs Bruno and Jimmy Jam spin pop and carnival classics. Walkabout, Temple, Temple Place, WC2R 2PH (020 7054 8033).

8pm-midnight. £5, free before 8pm.

Popcorn Jonesey, Harvey Adam, Jamie Hammond and Terry T-Rex provide dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Rehab DJ Haley, Zoe Demonette, Dan Udy and Malarky supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 10.30pm.

Service Industry Night DJ Colin Russell and Donald Sweeneey spin R‘n’B, hip-hop and chart. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715).

9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, w/payslip free before midnight.

Tins On Toast Indie, pop, electro and dance from Steve Harris, Liam Young, Ed Wilder from Club NME and Bandangos.

The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976).

7pm-late. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.

TUESDAY 1 Bingo Night DJs spin indie, plus Mr David Nottingham hosts bingo.

The George Tavern, Commercial Rd, E1 0LA (020 7790 7335).

8.30pm-midnight. Free.

The Elite Leagues DJ Sugai spins hip-hop and R‘n’B. The Macbeth, Hoxton St, N1 6LP (020 7749 0600). 7pm-late. £3.

Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, w/flyer free before 10.30pm.

Pink Tuesdays Freight Train spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, soul, funk and electro. Mother Bar, Old St, EC1V 9LE (020 7739 5949). 8pm-3am. Free.

Ruby Tuesdays Pop, R‘n’B and 1980s hits from Sandra D and Joe Grohl. Ku Bar, Lisle St, WC2H 7BA (020 7437 4303). 9pm-late. Free.

Thought Factory Presents DJs Jen Long, Hearts N Bones, Project Fresh Socks and Emily Rawson spin blues, rock and indie. Hosted by new fashion and lifestyle magazine Acid. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 7pm-midnight. Free.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus spin electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

20

FRIDAY 4

HIGH DEFINITION FESTIVAL Forest Farm, Ilford. June 30. £40 Aussie DnBers Pendulum (above) play a DJ set, with Sub Focus, Slipmatt, Fedde Le Grande, Mistajam and more along for this electronic music party.

IG6 3HQ

Fairlop

highdefinitionfestival.co.uk

WEDNESDAY 2 Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3.30am. £6.50, NUS £5.50, w/flyer £4.50.

Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £4, guestlist £3.

Clubbing London & Max Parties House and electro. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). Midnight-6am. £10.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Fat Poppa Daddys Resident DJs spin hip-hop, funk, electro, house, dubstep, 1980s hits, indie and reggae. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453).

11pm-2am. £5, free before midnight.

Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios.

The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £5, £3 before 11pm, free before 9pm.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Put Me On It Presents Tawiah, Szjerdene and Morgan Zarate spin soul and electro. The City Arts & Music Project, City Rd, EC1Y 2BJ (020 7253 2443). 9pm-late. £8, adv £5.

Smile Resident DJs play funky house, club classics and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £4, £3 before midnight.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

Work Lee Harris, Niyi Maximus Crown and Big John Freeman spin house, pop, electro, R‘n’B, funk and dancehall. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

11pm-5am. £5, £4 before 1am.

THURSDAY 3 Bedrock The final session before the summer break in the company of John Digweed and Jozif and their heady mix of underground electronic, house, trance and techno across two rooms. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 9.30pm-3am. £8.

Cheezy Thursdays DJs Watty Jnr, Real People, Jazzy G, Doctor B and Sir Lloyd spin pop, retro and dance hits. Porky’s Wine Bar, Sternhold Ave, SW2 4PA (020 8671 3424).

9pm-2am. £5, free before midnight.

Fuel Thursdays DJ Melody Kane spins house, funk, soul and urban beats. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453).

10pm-2am. £10, adv £5.

The Jump Off DJ Manny Norte plays hip-hop, garage and R‘n’B, with hosts Rap 6 and Charlie Sloth.

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000).

8pm-2am. £12, £10 before 9pm, adv £8.

The Psychedelic Knights DJs Headspace, Solar Knight and Atman Construct spin psychedelic trance, plus a live set from Journey. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537).

8pm-3am. £4, free before 10pm.

QueerlyOut DJ Robby D spins commercial dance, pop and R‘n’B. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm3am. £5, mems £3, free before 9pm.

Room Service Weekly gay dance party in the company of residents Kris Di Angelis, Severino, Fat Tony, Steve Pitron, Matt Bogard and Ariel, plus special guests. Miabella, Greek St, W1D 4DL (020 7025 7844).

10pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm.

Thirsty Thursday DJ Aiden spins funky house and disco. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.

Fabriclive Busy P, Riton, Gingy + Bordello and Picture House spin dubstep and techno in room one, while Ewan Pearson, Filthy Dukes and Daniel Avery mix house and electronica in room two, with Remain + Mlle Caro, Populette, Luv*Jam and James Friedman playing house and techno in room three, plus New Build perform live.

Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £18, adv £17, £22 inc CD, mems £13, NUS £10 before midnight, £7 after 3am.

Friday DJ Steve Butcher spins house and old skool. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 8pm-midnight, free.

The Gallery Myon & Shane 54, Super 8 & Tab, Mike Koglin, Maor Levi, Jody Wisternoff, Proff, Shane Davies and Subbass spin house, electro and techno.

The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010).

10.30pm-6am. £14, mems £11.

House of Disco Disco courtesy of Tiger & Woods, WOLF Music, Rayko, SlothBoogie, Magnier and Maslen. The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339).

10pm-4am. £12, adv £8.50 & £10.

Live At Robert Johnson – Come On In My Kitchen Tour DJs Ivan Smagghe, Roman Flugel, Gerd Janson and Oliver Hafenbauer spin electro, techno, house and disco, plus The Citizen’s Band perform live. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 10pm-6am. £10.

Roller Disco Old school roller disco with resident DJs playing disco, funk, soulful house, electro and breakbeat. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-2am. £12.50.

Tech:nology Bank Holiday Special Calyx, Audio, Fierce, Octane, DLR, Meth, Anile, Manifest, Verb, DBR UK, Inter, Dissect, Incite and Katanga spin drum ‘n’ bass across two rooms, plus MCs 2Shy, Codebreaker and Blackeye. Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613). 10pm-6am. £10.

SATURDAY 5 Cadenza Vagabundos Luciano plays a three-hour electronic set, plus Reboot live, Maayan Nidam and Alex Picone in room one, with Shane Watcha, Clint Lee, Cortez Esperanza, Johnny Bloomfield and Luciano Esse in room two. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070). 9pm-6am. £27.50, adv £25 before 11pm.

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Egg Birthday DJs Monika Kruse, Kaiserdisco and Edwin Oosterwal mix techno and electronica. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-late. £15.

House Rules Bank Holiday Special Third Party, Gareth Wyn, David Griffiths, Haran Delucas, Dave Marchant, Rich Barnard and Dan Jackson spin house and techno. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440).

5pm-late. £15, free before 9pm.

Silent Disco & Toolroom Pre Party House and electro from DJ Dean Griffiths. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-1am. Free.

Soul Heaven Louie Vega, Paul Trouble Anderson and Boddhi Satva spin house and funk in the main room, while Neil Pierce and Sy Sez play electro, techno and house in room two. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). 10pm-6am. £15.

Toolroom Knights DJ Mark Knight and residents spin house, electro and techno. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010).

11pm-7am. £15, mems £12.

Wiggle 18th Birthday Stacey Pullen, Nathan Coles, Terry Francis, Richard Grey, Eddie Richards, Grant Deli, Martyn Rochester and Liz Edwards spin electro, techno, house and disco. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760).

10pm-6am. £15, concs £12.

SUNDAY 6 Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Mark Radford, Maximus, Lee Edwards and Roch-Mix-Hard spin house and techno. Club Aquarium, Old St, EC1V 9DD (020 7251 6136).

11pm-6am. £15, £10 before midnight, ladies free before midnight.

Faster Wilkinson, SPY, Lenzman, Dom & Roland, Marcus Intalex, Break, Doc Scott and Anile spin dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass, with hosts 2Shy, SP, Lowqui and Code: breaker. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £14.

Rage Fabio, Bryan G, Grooverider, Jumpin’ Jack Frost, Rennie Pilgrem, Jay Cunning, Pyramid, Terry Hooligan, Cut La Roc, James D’Eley, King Yoof, DJ Gold, Schema, Gella and Sanxion spin drum ‘n’ bass. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 10pm-late. £17.

TuneAge DJs Garth Hill, Olivier Garth, Dean Griffiths, Jamie Jackson, The Joker, Stephan Brodin and Crazy D spin house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

WetYourSelf! Tania Vulcano, Peter Pixzel, Cormac, Jacob Husley, Pig & Dan, Whyt Noyz, Colin John, SAOirse, Colin Chiddle, Iain Kemz and AoD Soundsystem spin techno and house, plus Extrawelt performs live. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £16, adv/NUS £12, £8 after 4am.

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OVER 425 DAY TIME AND EVENING COURSES SPREAD OVER 12 WEEKS WITH OPTIONAL CENTR AL LONDON ACCOMMODATION T

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MONDAY 30 Ryan Adams Acoustica from the alt country trailblazer and prolific singer-songwriter, playing old favourites as well as showcasing material from his album Ashes & Fire. London Palladium, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (0844 412 2704). £28.50-£38.50.

Train American rock-pop trio.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £23.50.

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Z Star Alt rock-soul by the Brighton-based singer-songwriter.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £10.

FRIDAY 4

A-Mei Mandarin pop and poprock from the Taiwanese singer.

The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £38-£158.

Camden Crawl 2012: Death In Vegas Psychedelic indie-rock with electro influences from the Brentford-based twosome.

Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £20.

Bow Wow Wow Pop-punk and new wave from the reformed group. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £16.

Matthew Dear Electronica and dance by the New York-based musician-producer. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £10.

Mindless Behavior, Conor Maynard Pop-R‘n’B vocal group from Los Angeles. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £10, VIP £20.

Russian Circles Heavy instrumental rock by the Chicago-based band. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £13.50.

Thrice The Californian four-piece plays melodic alt rock and posthardcore in support of the album Major/Minor. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £20.

Rufus Wainwright The Canadian singer-songwriter performs baroque pop from his album Out Of The Game. Lyceum Theatre, Wellington St, WC2E 7RQ (0844 844 0005). £36-£71.

TUESDAY 1 Newton Faulkner The Reigateborn singer-songwriter and guitarist performs folk-rock and pop. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £17.

The Hives Garage-rock by the Swedish band. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £19.

Home Service Contemporary folk from the band founded

by John Tams. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £14.

Ramin Karimloo Showtunes from the West End singer and actor, who has starred in The Phantom Of The Opera and Love Never Dies. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £14.50-£45, concs £7.25-£22.50.

Molotov Jukebox, Banjo Lounge Indie and folk-rock by the Londonbased band. Floridita, Wardour St, W1F 0TN (020 7314 4042). £10-£30.

Simple Plan Pop-punk from the Canadian five-piece.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £16.

Martin Simpson Folk and blues from the singer-songwriter and guitarist. The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). £15.

GUNS N’ ROSES The O2, May 31. £50 Axl spurned his band’s inclusion in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, but will be back, with Paradise City, Sweet Child O’ Mine et al, for this arena show.

SE10 0DX

North Greenwich

WEDNESDAY 2 The Barr Brothers Folk from the Canadian four-piece featuring brothers Brad and Andrew Barr.

The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £9.50.

Dry The River The Londonbased four-piece plays indiefolk from its album Shallow Bed. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £10.

Ute Lemper Cabaret songs by the German chanteuse and actress.

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £27.50.

Rory McLeod Folk singersongwriter and storyteller.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £14.

New Order Electronica and new wave from Bernard Sumner’s reunited outfit. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £35.

North Atlantic Oscillation The trio performs contemporary prog from the album Fog Electric. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq, off Portobello Rd, W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). £12.

Of Monsters And Men Folk and indie-pop by the band from Reykjavik. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £15.

Quantic, Alice Russell And The Combo Barbaro Latin, funk and soul from musician Will Holland, singer Alice Russell and their band. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £25, adv £17.50.

theo2.co.uk Rachael Yamagata Folk-pop and rock singer-songwriter from Arlington, Virginia.

Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £12.50.

THURSDAY 3 Anathema The Liverpoolformed outfit plays progressive doom metal and experimental rock. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £18.50.

The Blues Band R‘n’B and roots music, with vocals by Paul Jones and Dave Kelly. Millfield Arts Centre, Silver St, N18 1PJ (020 8807 6680). £20, concs £18.

Destroyer 666, Grave Miasma, Lvcifyre Black and death metal from the Australian band.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £15.

Funkification Funk, soul and disco eight-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm.

Herman’s Hermits Classic hits by the veteran 1960s group. Millfield Arts Centre, Silver St, N18 1PJ (020 8807 6680). £17.50, concs £15.50.

Little Boots Disco-tinged electro-pop from Londonbased singer-songwriter Victoria Hesketh. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.50.

London International Ska Festival: Dandy Livingstone Reggae musician from Jamaica.

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £32.50.

The Kalakuta Millionaires, Manouche The Brighton-based collective plays Afrobeat and funk. Floridita, Wardour St, W1F 0TN (020 7314 4042). £10-£30.

Lostprophets, Modestep The Pontypridd-formed outfit plays epic alternative rock from its album Weapons. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £25.

London International Ska Festival: The Pioneers, Dawn Penn Veteran reggae and ska band from Jamaica. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £32.50.

Tom McConville, Dave Newey Celtic folk from the Newcastle-based fiddler and singer-songwriter.

Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £12.50, adv £9.50.

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band Prog and classic rock by the veteran keyboard player and colleagues. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £22.50.

Matt Schofield Blues-funk from the Manchester-born guitarist. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £16.

Marina And The Diamonds The glamorous singer performs indiepop with her group. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq, off Portobello Rd, W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). £18.50.

The Rapture Dance-rock from the New York-based threepiece. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

Mo & Grazz Hip-hop, funk and soul from husband and wife duo Monique Harcum and DJ Grazzhoppa. Charlie Wright’s International Bar, Pitfield St, N1 6EN (020 7490 8345). £15.

Twenty Twenty, Room 94, FutureProof The three-piece plays pop-rock. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £12.

The Quireboys The band plays attitude-driven, upbeat hard rock. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £16.

Versus The World, Authority Zero, Electric River, Double A Punk-rock by the band from Santa Barbara, California. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £10.

Tinariwen, Jose Gonzalez Desert blues by the Saharanoriginating band. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £27.50-£57.25.

SATURDAY 5 Lil B Rap from the Californian rapper, Brandon McCartney.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.50.

Demon Hunter, Deadlock, Nightrage, Insense Hardcore metal by the Seattle-based band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12.

Detroit Soul Soul favourites from the nine-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 11pm.

Antoine Dufour, Ewan Dobson, Jimmy Wahlsteen Acoustica from the French-Canadian guitarist. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £14.

Here We Go Magic, Porcelain Raft The American band plays indierock from the album A Different Ship. The Sebright Arms, Coate St, E2 9AG (020 7729 0937). £10.

Lona & Webber Rap and hip-hop by the Polish crew.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £15.

London International Ska Festival: The Dualers The Bromley-based outfit plays lively ska and reggae. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25.

Primordial, Hell, Winterfylleth Black metal by the band from Skerries. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

Professor Green Hip-hop and rap artist from Hackney. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £20.

Candi Staton The American vocalist sings soul, Gospel and R‘n’B. Islington Town Hall, Upper St, N1 2UD (020 7527 2000). £25 & £32.50.

Sulpher, AlterRed Industrial metal by Rob Holliday and his fellow band members.

The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £12.50.

Veil Of Maya Deathcore by the band from Oak Park, Illinois.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £11.

Ben Waters Boogie woogie and rock ‘n’ roll from the virtuoso pianist. Blackheath Halls, Lee Rd, SE3 9RQ (020 8463 0100). £12, concs £10.

Don Williams Country from the American singer-songwriter. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £32.50-£37.50.

Visions, No Consequence, Chronographs Experimental electronica by the Montrealbased outfit. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £6.50.

SUNDAY 6 Hidden Orchestra, Mt.Wolf, Polaroid 85 Ambient and boundary-pushing electronica from the Edinburgh-based combo. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.

London International Ska Festival: Fishbone The Los Angeles-based band plays alt rock and ska.

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

Pilgrims’ Way The Stockportbased three-piece plays traditional English folk.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

Trembling Bells & Bonnie Prince Billy, Muldoon’s Picnic The Glasgow-based four-piece and the American singer-songwriter perform folk and country from the album The Marble Downs.

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £17.50.

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Up for it: The Big Pink 24

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Keep on rocking The Camden Crawl serves up a bank holiday weekend treat for music lovers – and you might just hear the next big thing WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

The organisers of The Camden Crawl have an eye for spotting musical talent. Gearing up for its 11th event, the festival has become synonymous with acts that are on the tipping point of stardom. It was a case of “Adele who?“ for many as the singer took to the stage in 2007, and Florence + The Machine and Mumford And Sons were only just on the general public’s radar when they performed in 2008.

Back when founder Lisa Paulon established the festival in 1995, Britpop was in its heyday, with Oasis and Blur battling to rule the airwaves. But it was exposure for the less mainstream bands, the underground acts music lovers were flocking to see, which drove their desire to create the event.

“We came up with this brainchild of combining our individual tastes and decided to do one big gig with all our favourite bands and to try and keep it as affordable as possible,” she says.

“And that kind of democratic way of doing it, keeping it really accessible, gave us motivation and has remained a thread throughout all of the events since.”

Although between 1998-2004, The Camden Crawl was put on hold, it now ranks among the largest of Europe’s multivenue festivals in terms of the amount of groups it attracts.

A weekend ticket (May 4-6) will give music fans access to some 340 acts at 50 neighbouring venues in Camden and Kentish Town.

And the talent is booked by an eclectic committee of tastemakers, so a wide range of performances is guaranteed – from the lesser-heard-of grime artist Durrty Goodz and indie rock trio Johnny Foreigner, to the more well-known former Supergrass frontman Gaz Coombes, and psychedelic – electronic band Death In Vegas.

UK electro-rockers The Big Pink (best known for Dominoes, that catchy piece of work Niki Minaj ended up sampling), are promising to get the crowd jumping at their KOKO gig on Saturday.

Having just returned from an America tour, which featured gigs on both coasts and a slot at the Coachella Festival, where they partied alongside Snoop Dogg and his posse, experienced musicians Robbie Furze and Milo Cordell are champing at the bit to play The Camden Crawl.

“It’s been amazing to have 4000 people all waving their hands, singing your songs,” vocalist Furze says. “It’s definitely contributed to the feeling of positivity and energy we have

now.” He says festival-goers should expect a lot of fun, both at the band’s gig and the event itself.

“It’s like a big street party at the Crawl. You can go into anywhere and end up having a good time. We’re up for having a lot of fun. We’ve never played KOKO before but have seen lots of bands there. It’s going to be a pretty intense show,” he adds.

At the other end of the experience spectrum are up-andcoming east London four-piece Cymbals, who began playing house parties only two years ago, with a drummer who had never been behind a kit before and two members who didn’t have a background in music.

“It meant we had to major in soul,” frontman Jack Cleverly explains. “Everything had quite a lot of heart. It was always quite a shambles when we started out, but I think people were always rooting for us. We somehow seemed to get away with it. And we’ve always maintained that living-inthe-moment feel and not got too cerebral about things.”

It’s paid off, as the band have developed a growing following through social media, and will support Aussie ››

Death In Vegas will headline TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise from left: The Cribs; King Blues; Lyttelton Arms; Lisa Paulon; Electric Ballroom

rockers Temper Trap for five UK gigs, including KOKO, next month. But first there’s the matter of the Crawl.

“We’ve been keen to grow up and take our time in east London up until now,“ Cleverly says. “Camden’s almost like a kind of old rock institution, which is a bit foreign to us. It’s like a bit of an adventure for us to go and play there.

“Whenever we’ve played at Barfly, it’s kind of like going over to another city. It’ll be really fun. We haven’t been to The Camden Crawl before, so we’re absolutely excited to be part of it alongside some really great bands. Just being with them will really lift our playing. It’s going to be another exciting adventure.”

Although The Camden Crawl is best known for putting on an impressive show when it comes to muscial talent, this year also sees an array of other creative mediums on display.

For the first time, it’s added C.A.M.E to its line-up – an exhibition showcasing the alternative arts of underground press and zine making. It’s all on the rooftop of Camden’s historic St Michael’s Church.

And during the day, the festival boasts an impressive

26

“

Just being with these bands will be lifting

”

of songs inspired by the Bard’s plays and sonnets. While, on Sunday, The 99 Club will be hosting a stage for the first time at the Camden Rock, with stand-up from Matt Gree, Suzi Ruffell, Jo Bor and Patrick Monahan.

Such a range of entertainment is testament to The Camden Crawl’s organisers’ desire to make the event as inclusive and ecletic as possible, to grow a community of artists and their fans.

“We’ve now got 35 different curators that range from folk and dubstep, to grime. We’ve got labels and producers and even Big Cheese Magazine,” Paulon says.

“Everyone’s a specialist in their area, so we’re trying to represent all kinds of music and draw upon all types of audience social groups. You definitely can’t say it’s all about indie anymore.”

As for her favourite memories over the event’s 17-year history, Paulon recalls watching former Blur guitarist Graham Coxon and English punk legends the Buzzcocks play on the same night in 2005. “I remember running from one to the other, and I just made it to the Electric Ballroom as the band came on,“ she says. “The whole place exploded. I remember this whole crowd of 20-somethings just going crazy for this band who were all in their fifties. It was brilliant.”

It’s moments like that which make attending The Camden Crawl a no-brainer. From legends to next-to-make-it newcomers, you don’t know who you might see. ❚ Camden Crawl. May 4-6. £39.50 (day tickets) £77.50 (weekend) Various thecamdencrawl.com Chalk Farm/Camden Town

Photos: Getty; Camden Crawl

Ready to perform: Cymbals

selection of spoken word acts, performing arts, as well as a host of club nights presented by the likes of Last.fm, Supa Dupa Fly, Eddy Temple Morris and Moda.

From midday to 7pm on Saturday and Sunday, get ready to hold your sides, as the comedians take to the stage. One to watch will be Hip Hop Shakespeare, performing a medley

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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A WEEKEND FOR 10 AT THE BOURNEMOUTH SEVENS FESTIVAL 2012 As the largest rugby, netball and music festival in the world, Bournemouth Sevens is a mustattend event this summer.

Described as a unique mix of Dubai Rugby Sevens and Glastonbury, the festival is an action-packed weekend of sport, music and entertainment.

TNTT and The Bournemouth Sevens Festival have teamed up to offer one lucky reader 10 weekend and camping tickets to the renowned Festival at the Bank Holiday, over June 1-3, 2012.

The package includes festival accommodation for you and nine friends Kopparberg Campsite, as well as access to the main festival arena all weekend! Over 18s only.

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Donald McRae The award-winning journalist on growing up in apartheid South Africa, one-night stands and being left out of World Cups INTERVIEW CAROL DRIVER

Your new book, Under Our Skin, is about life as a child in South Africa. What made you first start questioning what was going on around you?

As a child, I was naive and thought apartheid was normal, but it was only things like sport that made me ask difficult questions – like why the outside world didn’t like us – and suddenly I was snapped out of this innocent bubble, thinking we lived in the best country in the world. I started to work out that something was amiss.

How did sport become symbolic to what was happening in the country?

I was a little boy and I loved sport. The boycotts started to bite, which meant white South African teams could not compete in things such as World Cups, Olympics and cricket tours. There would be a big build-up and then it would be cancelled.

I’d be so disappointed and ask my dad why. He would tell me the outside world didn’t have a good opinion of us. I would, in my naivety, say no black person likes cricket, so why would they be bothered. As I grew up, the boycotts became total and there were virtually no sports.

We couldn’t have something as normal as sport because we lived in an abnormal society.

Is there one incident in particular which made you start to think differently?

In 1976, I was 15, we heard that the nearby township of Soweto was ablaze and the kids were at war with the army. It hit me that kids my age were being shot. That was quite a seismic event, when I worked out the South African government was willing to kill children my age.

You eventually left South Africa and your family to escape national service.

Why were you so against it?

The constant theme of my adolescence was this big shudder of the army – that made me ask more complicated questions. Why should I serve the South African Defence Force? My parents wouldn’t accept my decision not to serve. The options were to go to jail or leave. I wasn’t brave enough to go to jail, so I told them I was going to leave. It took them six years to accept it.

When was the next time you returned?

Eight years later. The early Nineties opened up

SA life: Don McRae that apartheid would end and I could go back I could see changes were happening. Nelson Mandela was out of jail, that was a huge thing, there was such optimism. Obviously it was more complicated, it wasn’t that idealistic, and South Africa had more challenges to face.

Growing up, you thought your parents accepted apartheid. But when you returned to SA, your dad surprised you.

My dad had a big job in an electricity company.

I remember feeling angry about what was happening in SA, and my father was just a logical engineer. He would say, ‘Yes, things are bad, but let’s look at the positive’. When I left, although I loved him, I did feel he was part of the system. Unbeknown to me, soon after, he went into Soweto to meet with black, political, underground leaders and find out if there was a way he could electrify black South Africa. It was a huge step, and he had to do it without anyone knowing about it. He helped bring electricity to South Africa and later all over Africa.

How did you keep out of the army?

One way was to be a university student. So I did a BA, a BA Hons and a Masters – then I knew my time was up. I then worked as a teacher in Soweto. I was the only white teacher in the township. On my first day, I had I feared I would be murdered, but everyone was really accepting.

I learnt a hell of a lot being there for 18 months.

The students were aged between 14 and 18, but some were in their 20s, having been jailed for some time. It was such an eye opener to meet people who had suffered enormously.

It was there you got the inspiration for the title of your new book ...

I met a black woman in Soweto who said to me, ‘Cut us open and, under our skin, we’re all the same’. And I felt this so passionately. Towards the end of my time teaching, soldiers were coming into Soweto. That reaffirmed that I couldn’t go back to the area in a uniform.

Your mum was unhappy with some of the revealing parts of the novel ...

She’s 84 and knows most things about me. But when I was a teacher, I had a one-night stand with a lovely black woman. We were both 22, but in those days you could go to jail. There was a moment before we disappeared upstairs that we acknowledged there could be consequences.

It showed what a distrubing place SA was – a black and a white South African couldn’t fall in love or have sex. I also lost my virginity at 15 to a 22-year-old Afrikaans girl on a family holiday. I sneaked out of the hotel and got lucky!

Under Our Skin published by Simon & Schuster, £20 simonandschuster.co.uk

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He always was a master of the ‘sock puppet’

AMERICAN PIE: REUNION FILM review Alasdair Morton STARRING: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott | 15 | 112mins

THE LUCKY ONE FILM STARRING: Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Blythe Danner | 12A | 101mins

Zac Efron stars in this latest adaptation of one-man-genre author Nicolas Sparks. Much as with the similarly themed Dear John, Efron stars here – in the role Channing Tatum took in the aforementioned – as a soldier, who begins a search for the woman he finds in a photograph in the dusty battlegrounds of the Middle East, with predictably tear-inducing results.

On general release from May 2.

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It’s a reunion in the truest sense, at least, with the cast of the hilarious 1999 sex comedy back together for their 13th-year high school reunion. But where the original mixed the sweet with the gross to fresh effect, this repeats the same trick with diminishing results.

Oz (Chris Klein) is now a sportscaster, Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicolas) an architect, Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) a cultured sort who travels the world, and Stifler (Scott) is pretty much still Stifler, struggling to leave high school behind and enter the real world. Jim (Biggs) is married, with a kid, but still having problems in the bedroom, and still getting caught masturbating (you’d think he would have become a more shrewd tugger by now).

There is a sense that the gang’s all back, and as before, this focuses on the guys – Tara Reid’s Vicky has been up to little in the preceeding years, or at least that’s all we can surmise. While a smattering of gags hit the mark, there are many that don’t. However, it’s the sweetness and observation with which the relationships are handled that ultimately rewards most – this was never a Porky’s smutfest franchise.

Eugene Levy steals the show as Jim’s dad, now a widower finding his feet as he gets back in the dating saddle, and cameos from the MILF-ers and Sherminator are fun. But co-directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg (Harold and Kumar) are too occupied with nostalgia to offer much new. And while it can be amusing to hang out with old friends sometimes, it is never as much fun as you remember.

GOOD FOR: A couple of good knob gags

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GIVE US A

JARRED CHRISTMAS: LET’S GO MOFO!

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

As the title suggests, this is all about energy, ass-kicking hilarity and a full-on action-packed one-hour assault on your funny bones. Mr Christmas – Must.Refrain.From.Making.Festive.

Pun.Here – brings his new show to town, and it’s exactly as you’d expect from the loud, brash and extremely funny young man.

Ha ha!

Leicester Square Theatre WC2H 7BX. May 3, Jun 7, Jul 5. 9pm. £10 Leicester Square leicestersquaretheatre.com

BLEK LE RAT

WILD SWANS

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

The French graffitti artist gets himself an exhibition of his stencil art, which he has used to decorate walls in his native Paris as well as cities around the world. His influence on street art is immeasurable, particularly on a certain Banksy who is seen, by many, as his prodigy, and who holds the Parisian in high regard.

Alexandra Wood’s adaptation of Jung Chang’s highly personal, landmark account of political change in China condenses the hundreds of pages of her 1991 book into a gripping 90mins, following three generations of women through China’s cultural and political upheaval, as paddy fields give way to the bustle of the city.

Opera Gallery 134 New Bond St, W1S 2TF. Until May 16.

Free Bond Street operagallery.com

Young Vic The Cut, SE1 8LZ. Until May 13. From £10 Southwark youngvic.org

LEE CAMP What’s the show about? Mainly about Justin Bieber’s dreamy hair.

Actually, it’s about our soulless consumerist culture and the corporate pillaging of the world that seems to be proceeding unfettered.

Photos: Alan Markfied; C S Muncy

What’s the oddest show you’ve done? Take your pick: the one where I was the entertainment during a 24-hour cancer walk with a fouryear-old chemotherapy patient in the front row. The one where the hypnotist on before me set it up so numerous audience members put their underwear on their heads. Or the one I did in a shark tank.

SAFE

A TALE OF TWO CITIES

FILM

THEATRE

Jason Statham stays resolutely within type in this action thriller as he plays a former cage fighter who helps protect a young girl from Triads, the Russian mob and corrupt cops who want the secret code that only she knows. It will have loads of action, the odd gruff one-liner from Statham, probably, and he’ll more than likely get his shirt off as he kicks someone’s ass.

He may be a bit longwinded, but you can usually count on Charles Dickens to spin a decent yarn.

So, although this new musical based on his 1859 historical novel – about a London barrister who decides to save a French aristocrat from the guillotine – has ‘budget’ written all over it, it still makes for an entertaining night out.

On general release from May 4

Charing Cross Theatre WC2N 6NL. Until May 12. From £24.50 Charing X ataleoftwocitiesthemusical.com

Troubled times make fertile ground for comedy – what would you do if world peace broke out?

Probably stop doing stand-up and learn to juggle. And puppetry of the penis is popular, too.

Would you vote for Obama again? He’s been an incredible disappointment, and until we get money out of politics there will never be a viable candidate who’s not corporate-owned.

The Bedroom Bar, 68 Rivington Street, Old Street

EC2A 3AY. May 3. 7pm. £10 comedycafe.co.uk

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SPARETIME

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Marina And The Diamonds: Electra Heart

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Murder On The Titanic Nintendo DS

Got Titanic fever? Play the at-sea crime game now. £14.51 amazon.co.uk

Deluxe album

The second LP from Marina Diamandis, with bonus tracks. £11.45 zavvi.com

Supremacy MMA PlayStation Vita

Norah Jones: Little Broken Hearts

Fast and brutal combat – prepare to fight your way to domination. £23.99 365games.co.uk

CD

New album from the vocally gifted veteran, produced by Danger Mouse. £10.99 base.com

Dream:ON iPhone

Influence your dreams through music – works by tracking your movements.

Free itunes.apple.com

Robert Clarke: Seven Years With Banksy Book

A peek into the formative years of the graffiti legend, as told by an insider. £9.79 waterstones.com

ABSOLUT Drinkspiration App

A pocket mixology lesson, with recipes and personalised drink suggestions. Free

Peter Prescott & Terence Conran: Eat London 2

absolutdrinks.com

Book

An updated version with London’s best foodie spots and recipes from top chefs. £11.20 amazon.co.uk

Seiko Crossword Solver Gadget

For the really, really hard ones that you just can’t figure out. £27.99 play.com

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol DVD

ThunderCats Tygra figure

The latest installment from Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), also stars Simon Pegg. £9.99 play.com

Action toy

They’re back. So retro up your desk and be reminded of your childhood faves. £12.99 bandai.co.uk

The Iron Lady DVD

Dame ‘Hard As Nails’ Thatcher in her fragile elderly years, played by Meryl Streep. £9.99 sainsburys.co.uk

App of the Week Fat Fingers Windows phone

Love a bargain? Get the app version of the eBay deal hunting website that lets you find listings with typos that others might not. £0.99 windowsphone.com

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Stripe skinny jeans This is statement wear, so keep the top simple.

Nautical blazer Ahoy, ladies! Throw this top over cropped skinny jeans for a sassy look.

Knittted jumper A nautical-inspired pullover to block out the sea breeze.

riverisland.com

bankfashion.co.uk

heatonsstores.com

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£40

£30

£23

.00

SHOPWATCH TOPMAN GENERAL STORE, SEVEN DIALS Smarter, slicker and a little more grown-up than its usual stores, Topman has opened its second stripped-back general outlet in Seven Dials (they launched the first in Shoreditch last year). In keeping with the Seven Dials area, the shop has a minimal Scandinavian aesthetic, with whitewashed brick walls and pops of colour. But you won’t find Pop Art boxers here – the clothes are the cream of Topman’s designs and the selection will feature limited and seasonal lines, like the denim jacket project. Plus, there’ll be brands like Levi’s Vintage and John Smedly knitwear, as well limited-edition artwork and books that are exclusive to the store. It’s safe to say you’ll feel more like you’re in a cool men’s boutique than in a high-street fashion chain. Keep an eye out for temporary art installations and hella cool in-store events.

OPEN Mon-Sat 10am-7pm, Sun 12pm-6pm topman.com 36-38 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LA Covent Garden

A nod to nautical

Striped polo Sport this classic polo for the deckhand look.

.00

£20

burton.co.uk

Nautical print vest This one will get you hook, line and skinker.

.00

£20

pauls-boutique.com

£49

.00

Stripe maxi dress This casual number has seaside styling nailed.

.00

£39

oliverbonas.com

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£43

£16

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Cadet skirt Show off sunkissed pins in this sassy number. lovarni.com

Mid-cut trainers Walk the plank like a man in these Helly Hansen shoes.

Satin scarf The nautical rope and chain print will add a dash of class to any outfit. accessorize.com

play.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

SENI

Get fighting fit at SENI (Japanese for fighting spirit) – a combat and strength-based sports event held at Jubilee bank holiday weekend.

Six interactive entertainment zones cover more than 15,000 sq ft at London’s ExCeL, which will host the London 2012 combat sports including boxing, fencing and judo a few weeks later.

Take part in countless seminars and free workshops. Visitors can look forward to training with the word’s best fighters, including heavyweight names like UFC Hall of Famer Royce Gracie and the UK’s very own Mike ‘The Count’ Bisping.

Leading fitness experts will be on hand to offer advice, including Billy Blanks, the man who gave the world Tae’Bo. Learn the secrets of the martial art behind Bruce Lee’s success at the Ip Man Wing Chun masterclass with Samuel Kwok or learn ladies’ self defence with Matt Fiddes who once worked as Michael Jackson’s bodyguard.

From the power of elbow strikes to Filipino knife fighting – martial arts fans can add a new skill to their repertoire.

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Cool for cuts Bored of making small talk at generic hair salons? Get your ’do at one of these hot spots WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

For chain-haters who dread getting their hair cut, we’ve compiled a definitive list of London’s coolest independent hairdressers.

They’ve all got a little something extra to add to the coiffing experience.

Jack The Clipper, Whitechapel Sporting the perfect name for a Whitechapel barber’s, this haven for dandy east London gents has a treatment menu full of sinistersounding things you can have done to your barnet or beard. Get a ‘lemon squash, cut and sandy lyle’ (wash, cut and style), £19.50, a ‘Jack’s dig in the grave with a hot Simon Cowell’ (shave and towel), £10 or ‘the full ripper’, £29, which is a wash, cut, style and shave. It’s the home of styled-up cockney.

4 Toynbee Street, E1 7NE jacktheclipper.co.uk

Electric Hairdressing, Marylebone Based in a trendilicious location – opposite Other Criteria gallery store, which sells products based on the work of artists such

as Damien Hirst. Busy types will love superspeedy treatments like the Electric Express Blow Dry, from £50, which gives stylistas a blow dry, a manicure and a pedicure in just 20 minutes. Or when you’re in need of more chill-out time, bust into a secret downstairs area called ‘The Retreat’, where you can plug in your own music and get private hair treatments away from the hustle.

29 Thayer Street, W1U 2QW electric-hair.com

Hari’s Salon, King’s Road Let the barman whip you up a cocktail (or a smoothie if you’re there early). Then take your seat in front of a piano or a mirror surrounded by pictures of musical greats for a haircut by one of Hari’s team of experts.

And if you time it right, the experience will be soundtracked by a live jazz band or saxophonist. Men’s cut and styling from £25 and women’s from £48.

233 King’s Road, SW3 5EJ harissalon.com

7 One Western Gateway, E16 1XL senishow.com Custom House

Hari’s Salon, King’s Road 34

Watch your neck: Jack The Clipper

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WHAT’S NEW

Jack Black Dragon Ice balm Soothes post-exercise aches £18.80 boots.com

Tan Me mousse for men Even Jonny Marr has a man tan £30.00 sun-believable.com

Blue Tit’s salon is like an old-fashioned living room

Blue Tit, Dalston

Flaxton Ptootch, Kentish Town

The independent salon looks more like an Edwardian living room than a 21st-century hairdresser’s, with its vintage leather armchairs, fireplace and black and white photos. It’s best to head here before a big event, because the salon is famous for its fashion-forward, look-at-me up-dos for girls, from £46. If it’s sunny, they’ll cut your hair outside, in a peaceful, covered part of the garden. Get a cut and finish for £49 (girls) or £30 (boys), then hang out at the sweeping wooden smoothie bar afterwards. The salon uses only organic products.

7 Stoke Newington Road, N16 8BH; bluetitlondon.com

This place is so hip people aren’t quite sure how to pronounce its name (it’s ‘P-Tooch’).

At the hairdresser-meets-art gallery, north London hipsters can kill two very essential birds with one stone, and check out some cutting-edge art while getting that allimportant trim. They also host the occasional gig. And you don’t pay silly amounts to get your hair done here – cuts cost from £24 and colour services start NEXT WEEK at £12.

London’s 237 Kentish Town toughest gyms Road, NW5 2JT flaxonptootch.com

Boo Boo miracle oil Ward off stretch marks and dryness £15.99 boobooshop.com

Photos: Getty, Ondrej Bires.

TOP TREATMENT: CAMOUFLAGE CREAM If, like Kimberley Vlaminck (left), you were stupid enough to get 56 stars tattooed on your face, or you’ve got a little reminder of a night out on your bum, then help is at hand. Keromask is a super-strength cover-up foundation that can hide acne, rosacea, vitiligo, scars, mega eye circles and tattoos. It’s also water, heat and smudge proof, and lasts all day. Perfect for covering up that Tweety bird tat when you hit the beach. £14.99

Cover up your inky mistakes

Keromask.com. See

coverwithconfidence.co.uk for cover-up tutorials

LCN 7-in-1 wonder nail recovery A miracle in a bottle £6.20 bcidirect.com

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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‘Shit, now I’ve lost count’

When work sucks Everyone has to do a job they hate at some point in their lives.

Now there’s an offical list of terrible trades WORDS REBECCA KENT The only thing bad jobs are good for is recounting the story down the pub with your mates – once you’ve found something better. Although that usually results in being trumped by a friend who has done something far worse. To solve any arguments, a US website has put together an official list of the worst jobs in the world.

Careercast.com did the number crunching to come up with a delightful account of shitty vocations (see box right), revealing physical labour, declining job opportunities, a poor work environment and high stress as all-pervasive attributes.

A lumberjack comes out on top, with dairy farmer and military soldier in second and third place respectively.

In fourth place are reporter and 36

broadcaster. “They were once both very glamorous jobs,” says Tony Lee, the website’s managing director, who adds the list’s results are universal. “But there’s a technological revolution going on, and as the digital world takes over, the need for newspapers and newscasts is diminishing.”

With this comes stress, declining job opportunities and pay, he adds.

On the other side of the coin, software engineers reaping the benefits of our technology-assisted world, top the list of best jobs.

“Finding qualified software engineers is not easy, and because of that, employers are trying to make the job easier – working hours are reduced, lunch hours are longer and there is a lot more flexibility,” Lee adds.

So how does your worst job compare?

We asked some of our readers to step forward and recount their experiences.

Garry Childs, nappy collector “I used to drive a truck around old people’s homes collecting their used nappies. It was pretty bad when the bags slit open, but luckily I did the work in winter, so they were mostly frozen,” says Childs, 37, who lives in Shepherd’s Bush.

Lauren Taylor, truck stop helper “I earned £2.50 an hour working at a truck stop called ‘Far Kew’, dealing with sleazy truckers every day,” says Taylor, 28, who lives in Clapham South.

“I ended up going on a date with one of them (a low point). He had

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When Fabreze just won’t cut it

ON THE JOB DOMINIC STABLES CAREER Barber/ writer Orange Fever: The Movie AGE 32 LIVES Shoreditch FROM West Yorks How did you get into your line of work?

I wanted to be an architect, but teachers at school said I was too thick, so I started cutting hair, heard amazing stories, and wrote a movie about my experiences.

Remember, it won’t be forever a curly mullet and wore stubbies and a flannelette shirt. Sadly, it was actually one of my best dates.”

Jo Adnitt, fruit factor worker “I had to dust the mould off oranges which we then bagged up for supermarkets,” says Adnitt, 30, who hails from Holland Park.

“They were so mouldy that we would have to wear masks and I had brown snot.”

Ruth Board, call centre worker

WORST JOBS: THE LIST 1. Lumberjack 2. Dairy farmer 3. Enlisted military soldier 4. Oil rig worker 5. Reporter (newspaper) 6. Waiter/ waitress 7. Meter reader 8. Dishwasher 9. Butcher 10. Broadcaster BEST JOBS: THE LIST 1. Software engineer 2. Actuary 3. Human resources manager 4. Dental hygienist 5. Financial planner 6. Audiologist 7. Occupational therapist 8. Online advertising manager 9. Computer systems analyst 10. Mathematician

“I worked for a major bank after I left uni,” explains Board, 29, from Walthamstow.

“The windows were tinted so you couldn’t see the real colour of the sky, your loo breaks were timed, and there was no internet. Mind-numbing!”

Photos: Thinkstock

Sara Burgess, jewellery seller “It was a Christmas job at a stand in Victoria station,” recalls Burgess, 24, from Camberwell. “I had the freezing cold and stern commuters to contend with, and had to coerce gift-buying

customers to treat themselves. My breaks were spent hanging around the station, and after all that, my pay was a month late.”

Claire Dood, debt collector

“The job title of credit controller didn’t give the game away, as I found myself elbowdeep in county court papers for people that hadn’t paid their utility bills,” says Dood, 27, from Islington.

“I manned the phones, and was called every name under the sun. Someone even took the trouble to write to express their distaste in our treatment of them, and thoughtfully enclosed a carefully wrapped poo.”

Tamra Johnston, various “It’s a dead heat: a cheese-and-crackerpacker, a broccoli-chopper, or a chicken-stuffer.

That last one NEXT WEEK was fowl,” says Working in Johnston on TNT’s Melbourne Facebook page.

What do you do day-to-day?

Get up and do a spinning class and end up being sick if I’ve had a drink the night before. I work at Sharps Barbers, Charlotte Street, or Topman in Oxford Circus.

What’s the best part of your job?

The people I get to meet and doing sweet haircuts. Also, working on Orange Fever with the NorthernWood Films team – we’re cycling From Brighouse To Cannes for Le Tour De Tan - to raise money for our film.

What’s the most challenging?

Creating masterpieces on people who need more than their hair cut ... and not talking about my trip 24/7! letourdetan.com

HOW TO ... MAKE A BORING JOB BEARABLE Banal jobs exist and someone’s got to do them. But there’s ways to spice up your day.

• Give yourself challenges such

as timing how long it takes you to do specific tasks.

• Hesitant about a job because

it’s too boring or too complex?

Google it and see what else you can find out about it.

You might learn something particularly interesting.

• Enthuse yourself by playing

some pumping tunes. Working in silence doesn’t compare.

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tntjobs.co.uk IPG T: 07716 376 408

JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £10,000 by Summer

IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).

Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country.

See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night.

07716 376 408

GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

GEOFF CABLE T: +421-232-662-621 www.nextlevelpharma.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew.

You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude.

CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: International Sales Executive (junior) Location: Bratislava, Slovak Republic Salary: Basic + commission (€2000-2500+ monthly).

We organise conferences across Europe & The USA, that provide business intelligence and networking opportunities for the global pharmaceutical industry.

Make telephone contact with senior pharmaceutical executives, worldwide and promote/sell attendance to our exciting industry events, to meet other industry peers and learn about the latest developments in a dynamic, knowledge intensive industry.

CHEZ BRUCE www.chezbruce.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef de Partie Location: Wandsworth Common SW17

Multi award winning, Michelin starred restaurant (part of the small group which includes Michelin starred establishments La Trompette and The Glasshouse).

Chez Bruce is recruiting its kitchen brigade. We are looking for a CHEF DE PARTIE. The successful candidate would work 4 days per week. This is a rare opportunity to join a team of like-minded professionals with excellent working conditions. Experience is essential.

Geoff Cable, CEO | +421-232-662-621 | geoff.cable@nextlevelpharma.com

Please send CV to: mattchristmas@chezbruce.co.uk

ANDERS PLUS T: 020 7793 7825 www.andersplus.com Andersplus is a specialist recruiter for the landscape industry.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Landscapers Location: Central and Greater London Salary: On application Seeking energetic, physically fit individuals for London clients as landscape labourers/ gardeners and work towards becoming experienced landscapers. Work is based all over Central and Greater London.

Andrea Lane | 020 7793 7825 | andrea@andersplus.com

ABSOLUTE TASTE T: 020 8870 5151 www.absolutetaste.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Wholesale/Retail Position Location: London E.1 Salary: 20K

Absolute Taste provides the finest hospitality for the VIP guests of the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes Formula 1 team and has a reputation for excellent food and exciting party design.

Job includes sales, deliveries and stockroom.

Heavy lifting is involved.

Good personality and attitude are essential

CRINAN HOTEL www.crinanahotel.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sous Chef/Bar Person/ Waiter/ Coffee Shop Assistant Location: Crinan Argyll, Scotland, Westcoast Salary: On Application

Crinana Hotel is a busy 4 star family run hotel in beautiful Argyll with two restaurants and a coffee shop

Here is an opportunity to work for the summer in one of the most beautiful spots in Scotland. Positions are available for immediate start. Only person with previous experience need apply five and a half day working week. Must be eligible to work in the uk

T: 01546 830 261

Mark Christie | 020 7790 3007

01546 830 261

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CASH-SAVING TIPS

LIFESTYLEMONEY

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

£2 ITALIAN MEALS Xxxxxxxxx Ask Italian is offering £2 mains after you order one XXXXXXXXX meal at regular price. The Xxxxxxxxxxx offer is valid in all Ask restaurants until May 9, XXXXXXXXX using the voucher found Xxxxxxxxxxx on their website.

Any money-saving tips?

Cycling is my moneysaving tip. You can get great second-hand bikes from ReCycling, a repair shop in Elephant and Castle.

Last big blow-out?

My last big blowout was a cute pair of trainers online.

They cost £55 and give me blisters, but are worth it.

XXXXXXXXX askitalian.co.uk Xxxxxxxxxxx

SPRING HOTEL DEAL Ibis is offering 30 per cent XXXXXXXXX off hotel rooms booked at Xxxxxxxxxxx least 20 days in advance for stays until June 10, 2012. Book before May 21 for rooms across the UK. ibishoteldeals.com

MEGABUS FOR A FIVER If you’re in serious need of a mid-week getaway, look no further. Megabus has capped its Wednesday travel prices at just £5 (plus a 50p booking fee) for all English routes.

JEN MELVIN, 29 JOB PhD student FROM St John’s, Canada LIVES Holloway How do you budget?

I make a budget every three months that includes

Please forgive me To make up for calling Adele “a little too fat”, Karl Lagerfeld sent her a collection of Chanel bags – just one can cost up to £2500. Celebs say ‘I’m sorry’ in expensive ways...

TRAIN FARE BARGAINS Lazy and up for a bargain on transport? Sign up to The Train Line’s ticket alert service to be the first to know about cheap train tickets, plus fares for your usual journeys straight to your inbox. thetrainline.com/ticketalert Photos: Getty

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

I spend quite a bit of money on going out to eat. Drummond Street in Euston is the best place for restaurants. That’s my big non-essential spend.

HOW THEY SPEND IT!

uk.megabus.com

NTHN IRELAND /60 KATHMANDU/74

food, transport, phone and internet bill and miscellaneous bits (very important). I also transfer money for rent, council tax, water and electricity bills into a shared account with my boyfriend every month.

Adele bagged an apology from designer Lagerfeld

❚ In a last-ditch attempt to save his marriage after rumours of infidelity made headlines in 2010, Ashton Kutcher bought Demi Moore a £62,920 hybrid Lexus.

❚ David Beckham extended an olive branch to wife Victoria in the form of a £1.2m pink diamond ring amid rumours of an affair with his PR lady in 2004.

❚ A mere three days after basketball pro Kobe Bryant was charged with rape in 2003, he bought his wife an 8-carat purple diamond ring worth £2.5m. No wonder she stuck by him.

❚ This was never going to work. After pleading guilty to assaulting Rihanna, in 2009, singer Chris Brown let a £200,000 diamondencrusted ‘OOPS’ necklace do the talking for him.

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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STYLE 50

£1.

Vintage party cups An old-school way to serve punch

Kensal cool

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Kensal Rise, NW10, NW6

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£7.

WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Royal-tea Genius tea bags sporting the images of the royals oliverbonas.com

Kensal Rise is a compact area. It forms a triangle – with Willesden Sports Centre to the west, Kilburn to the east and Kensal Green to the south. Chamberlayne Road, its main, action-filled high street, is surrounded by quieter residential streets.

Why Kensal Rise?

It’s undeniably cool and, in 2009, Vogue named Chamberlayne Road the hippest street in Europe.

“Whether the person who wrote that article was trying to sell a house in the area at the time, I don’t know,” says Del O’Brien from Daniels Estate Agents, on Chamberlayne Road. “But it has got quite a lot of favourable press. There’s always some article about it in the Evening Standard. It’s a cool area.”

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£10

Four coloured bowls Spruce up your kitchen for spring tigerstores.co.uk

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The Kensal Rise library Where to hang out As you walk up Chamberlayne Road on a Saturday, through your Ray Ban Wayfarers, you’ll spot plenty of antique shops and boutiques like Verandah selling kitchy homeware, gifts and cards (117 Chamberlayne Road). Rest your deck-shoe clad feet in the glass-fronted Minkies Deli, where you can pick up a weekly shop of posh pasta, vintage cheeses and preserves.

Station Terrace is also a top spot, where greasy spoons like Arthur’s Cafe live in harmony with foodie spots like Comptoir Mezze, Eat Sushi (eat-sushi.co.uk) and Island On The Rise.

For the evening, head out to The Chamberlayne pub and steakhouse for some tasty meat and a comprehensive whisky

Don’t move here if...

You don’t like hipsters – Kensal Rise is where plenty of the west London trendy clan lays down roots.

The people

£14

Miss Scarlett Cluedo apron Hopefully your cooking won’t kill truffleshuffle.co.uk

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Media types like to live here, O’Brien says.

“A lot of people work in film and television, and you’ve got actors and actresses. Ian Wright and Daniel Craig have houses in the area and I always see Thandie Newton.”

It’s quite young, but as it’s pricey, people who live here tend to be in their later twenties and early thirties, and yummy mummy locals take their kids to spots like Mini Picassos art school on Station Terrace.

selection (thechamberlayne.com). Or try The Shop, which is mostly a bar, but also a shop that sells art and the furniture you sit on.

Venture further down the road to the ultra-cool gastropub, Paradise, by way of

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FINAL 1496 Living Kensal Rise 2.40 40

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MY AREA MATTHEW COMRAS TV producer,

25 “I love the location – it’s so close to Notting Hill and the centre of town; the walk along the canal.

Last week we had this great pop-up bar. It’s brilliant.”

CAMILLA DELOGU Barista, 20

Kensal Green (theparadise.co.uk). Upcoming events include a tracksuit party on May 6 and a DJ set from Johnny Borrell and Radio 1’s Jagga on May 4.

The connections Kensal Rise Overground station takes you to Clapham Junction and Richmond in one direction, and Stratford in the other. Buses run to Notting Hill and other places across west and central London.

What can you rent?

Daniel Levine, of Abacus Estates on

Chamberlayne Road, says you’ll be hard pushed to find a bargain, and even houses by the train tracks are in demand.

There aren’t big shiny blocks around here, instead you’ll find plenty of period conversions. “You’ve got houses with nice high ceilings and big bedrooms,” Levine says. “The roads off the high street like Clifford Gardens and NEXT WEEK Harvist Road, especially by Apps to help you move house the park, are the most popular.”

“It’s like a little village and after a month, you know everybody. It’s full of coffee shops, restaurants and pubs. There’s Queen’s Park just round the corner. ”

MATTHEW

KOLODZIEJ Bartender, 20

“It’s a very busy place and there are lots of young people. It’s really close to the city centre and it’s very calm – we have many parks here, too.”

NW10/6 INFO BOROUGH

Brent AVERAGE COUNCIL TAX

£1,252 per year TRAVEL TIME TO LONDON

Photos: Getty

30mins FLATSHARE £542pcm

ONE-BEDROOM FLAT £1400pcm

TWO-BEDROOM FLAT £1863pcm

A double room in a newly refurbished three-bed flat. The converted period property has a private back garden and good access to the Overground.

A ground-floor flat with wooden floors, a large living room and a secluded garden. On a residential street of period properties, close to Queen’s Park.

Top-floor flat with two double bedrooms, two bathrooms and a large living room with floor to ceiling windows and a modern, open-plan kitchen.

danielsestateagents.co.uk

danielsestateagents.co.uk

abacusestates.com

TRANSPORT

Kensal Rise overground; Zone 2 AVERAGE ROOM SHARE ONE-BED

£1,200pcm AVERAGE RENTAL ONE-BED

£1,400pcm AVERAGE FLAT ONE-BED

£270,000

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WORLDVIEW

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That’s one appealing safari

TOWNS NAMED DULL AND BORING TWINNED US/UK A village called Dull in Perthshire, Scotland, is to be twinned with a town called Boring in Oregon, US. The idea came to resident Elizabeth Leighton, when she paid a visit to Boring while on holiday.

Dull community councillor Marjorie Keddie said: “It might seem like a joke, but this could have real benefits for Dull.

“Everyone has been smiling at the prospect of the very eye-catching road sign this will inevitably require.”

And the towns don’t just share similar names, they’re also both said to have the same snowy and rainy climates.

Boring has a population of 12,000 and Dull has 50 residents, so the town is too big to be officially twinned with the hamlet, but Keddie received a “declaration of sistership” from Boring planning chiefs.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @Charles_HRH One cannot believe people are comparing Rupert Murdoch to Satan. Yes, he’s evil, but he’s not as bad as Rupert Murdoch. @Jen_Bennett Last night I heard someone say “Happy ANZAC Day!” Good work Australia, you have successfully stripped all meaning from today.

BARRISTER IN COURT OVER 79 CENTS AUSTRALIA In 1992, 19-year-old Simon Matters was charged with stealing a handful of loose change from a wishing fountain on the Gold Coast.

He denied pilfering the 79 cents and 42

Royal portrait: made entirely out of postcards of the Queen, David Mach’s Girl In A Yellow Bikini portrait is on display at Lyon and Turnbull in Edinburgh, Scotland

returned home to Melbourne. But two decades later, now a barrister, he handed himself into police.

Matters was charged with stealing and failing to appear in court, but chief magistrate Ron Kilner let him off with no punishment or conviction.

WELSHMEN CHARGED OVER PENGUIN THEFT AUSTRALIA Two Welshmen have been charged after a penguin was stolen from a theme park in Queensland, Australia.

The two men, 20 and 21, plus an 18-year-old man who was also arrested, allegedly broke into the enclosure while on the way back from a night out.

It’s claimed they swam with dolphins

before they took a seven-year-old fairy penguin, named Dirk, back to their hotel.

The men, who will be in court on May 2, are charged with trespassing, stealing and unlawfully keeping a protected animal.

One of the men, Rhys Jones, apologised on Australian TV: “Still a bit fuzzy about the whole thing but on behalf of the three of us we are sorry and it was just a prank which went way too far.”

Police found Dirk, who belonged to Sea World, at South Pier the next evening being chased by a dog. He is now safe and back in the park.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 6

Miles a Japanese teen’s football travelled before it washed up in Alaska.

The 16-year-old lost everything in the tsunami

Traffic warning? Bummer...

NAKED BIKER FINED FOR LACK OF HELMET ROMANIA A nude motorbike passenger was stopped by traffic police in Constanta, Romania, but only given a warning and a ticket for not wearing a helmet.

Other motorists took photos of the twowheeled female streaker after she had put her crash helmet back on.

A witness said: “The officer was a traffic cop and the only traffic offence she’d committed was in not wearing a helmet.

“So he gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on,” he added.

RADIO STATION PORN SOUNDS BLUNDER

Photos: Facebook; Eric Issel; Julian Finney; Tom Jenkins; Jeff J Mitchell

UNITED KINGDOM Jazz FM has apologised after the audio to a porno was accidentally broadcast on top of a jazz beat.

Listeners complained that swearing and “clearly audible sounds of sexual activity” could be heard on the Funky Sensation show with Mike Vitti for about five minutes.

A number of tweets were also sent, with some listeners reporting that they were enjoying a family meal when the sound of people getting jiggy filled the air.

Watchdog Ofcom said in a report a staff member had “opened a personal email on the studio computer and accessed a weblink containing pornographic content; but by mistake left the sound fader linked to this computer open on the broadcast console. This resulted in the broadcast of the audio of pornographic content”.

The station apologised on its website and social networks shortly after the X-

FINAL 1496 TNT World News.indd 43

Number of months’ driving ban a man in Brisbane received for joyriding a lawnmower when drunk

2

The awkward chameleon rated mishap, which happened at around 7.15pm on February 18, and during the same show a week after.

It also told Ofcom that “the individual who inadvertently caused the material to be broadcast has now left Jazz FM”.

HEALTH MINISTERS’ $100 CIGARETTES NEW ZEALAND It’s bad news for Kiwi smokers as New Zealand’s Health Ministry has reportedly considered upping the price of a pack of 20 cigarettes to $100 (£50).

The idea comes as ministers are trying to make the country smoke-free by 2025.

But prime minister John Key said the $100 price tag seemed like “an awful lot”and could encourage a black market.

Fags are currently priced between $16-17 in New Zealand, but the internal government working paper suggests raising prices by 30-60 per cent and adding yearly increases of 30 per cent.

Authorities plan to stop residents smoking completely by 2025, but officials admit such high price increases are “probably unrealistic”.

3,000

Kilometres above a Chinese canyon a slackline wire was strung up and walked by an man, without safety ropes

Amount, in pounds, of a fine given to a woman in Milan who got sex kicks crushing small animals while wearing stockings

3,500

QUOTE OF THE WEEK No matter how much she is pushing me, I haven’t fallen for it yet Tennis star Andy Murray on how he’s not planning on getting married to girlfriend Kim Sears any time soon, no matter how much she pesters him.

26/4/12 17:06:35

It’s Tax Refund Time Beat the rush and get your claim in now!

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TNT_1496_EDIT.indd 44

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: REBECCA KENT rebecca.kent@tntmagazine.com

Bold: would you vote for this guy?

Alex Reid for MP? Pull the other one, why don’t you

Photos: Getty

Does he really think he can fight his way through parliament?

God knows British politics needs a maverick. There was BoJo, whose slobbery was endearing due to his colourful posh-boy patter. But how quickly his upper-crust star lost its glean in the cold light of austerity. Now Alex Reid – cross-dresser, cagefighter and former Katie Price whipping boy – wants to become an MP. Reid’s recent brainwave came after attending parliament to launch the Let’s Do Lunch healthy eating campaign with shadow education minister Sharon Hodgson.

It’s funny not least because of Reid’s alter ego, Roxanne. Roxanne wears a lacy bra exposed through a tight-fitting fishnet top, she puts on a fascinator if the occasion calls for it, and looks as if she fell into Bozo the clown’s make-up bag. Now, the House of Commons could do with some sparkle, and if a man is bold enough to dress like a lady, then he is probably bold enough to stand up for his beliefs in parliament.

However, we are talking about a man who rose to ‘fame’ from relative obscurity after glamour model Price clapped eyes on him at a London party. After a two-year-relationship, in which Reid lapped up Price’s lifestyle like a desperate spotlight-chaser, she called time – but not before he declared via Twitter: “I have above-average sperm production and working great” when responding to infertility rumours, mind. Nonetheless, Reid was a picture of dejection. And if an airhead like Price can take the wind out of his sails, how would he stand up to the acerbic cat-calling par for the course in parliament?

Reid wants to “use my power as a celebrity to influence young people to help them be the people they want to be”. Celebrity? Alex, dear, Arnold Schwarzenegger had Terminator, a host of world bodybuilding titles and a stake in Planet Hollywood long before he was anywhere near being elected governor of California.

As for you, you’ve married a slag, punched a guy in a cage and your most notable TV appearance was on Big Brother. Plus, do you even know how to spell MP? » Agree or disagree? Does British politics need Alex Reid? letters@tntmagazine.com

SICO’S NOT FOOLING ANYONE Simon Cowell has apologised to the people left red-faced by the revelations in his unauthorised biography, but I’m struggling to sympathise with the guy.

When snippets of Tom Bower’s book Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell, including an alleged relationship with X Factor judge Dannii Minogue and a sleazy fascination with Cheryl Cole, emerged, Cowell says he buried his head in his pillow.

But it was only to conceal a Cheshire Cat smile. You see, since he collaborated with Bower for the purposes of accuracy, the book was not strictly ‘unauthorised’.

He knew exactly what was coming.

“

Burning bridges is an afterthought

”

But burning bridges is an afterthought when you’ve got Cowell’s money, and almost impregnable reputation.

Making more wads is what counts, and as long as Cowell’s got a TV talent show with ratings that need a boost, the only thing he’s got to be feeling sorry about now is not writing the book himself.

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They think it’s all over ...

Boris Johnson and Ken Livingstone are neck-and-neck in the mayoral election race. We ask them the important questions WORDS CAROL DRIVER On May 3, London goes to the polls – with members of the Commonwealth eligible to have their say on who they want to be the capital’s next mayor. It’s been a close, and sometimes dirty, fight between Conservative Boris Johnson and Labour’s Ken Livingstone, with polls putting them only points apart. With just days to go before you cast your vote, we put the burning questions to both of the frontrunners.

Read on – their answers may even change your mind.

Why should expats vote for you?

BORIS: You are already invested in London’s future and this election represents your chance to help cut crime, continue investing in transport, grow London’s economy and create jobs, make the Olympics a success and keep council tax low.

KEN: London needs to be a place that welcomes people from all quarters of the world. I’ll make sure that’s protected. But London is an expensive place to live and work, so my priority is to ease that pressure.

What will be your first duty as mayor if you win?

BORIS: I will get straight to work on creating jobs for Londoners by cutting waste and putting money where it has the biggest impact.

KEN: To appoint my deputy, Val Shawcross, as chair of Transport for London, so we can work together to cut fares.

How are you going to improve the Tube network?

BORIS: It is essential we make the necessary investments to keep London moving forward. We have to invest in transport and that is why we have been engaging in neo-Victorian levels of investment – £22.1bn secured from government – to improve London’s transport network.

KEN: We’ve got to drive ahead with an investment programme – but over the last four years the current mayor has underspent the investment budget by £1.1bn.

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How do you get to work?

BORIS: I try to cycle into work as often as possible.

KEN: Bus and Tube.

How are you going to cut TNTers’ costs?

BORIS: By cutting waste to free up £3.5bn for services, we have cut City Hall’s share of council tax, putting an average £445 back into Londoners’ pockets. If re-elected, I will cut council tax by at least 10 per cent over the next four years.

KEN: I’ll cut their fares by 7 per cent, saving the average Londoner £1000 over the next four years. My plans to create a London-wide lettings agency will help stop readers being ripped off by dodgy landlords, and my plans for an energy co-operative will save them £120 a year.

What are you doing to tackle youth crime?

BORIS: Last year’s riots show the full scale of the challenges we still face. I am committed to targeted programmes aimed at helping London’s vulnerable young people steer away from a life of crime. We also need to seriously confront gangs, which is why I launched and will continue to support Trident Gangs Command, prioritising the 62 most violent groups of men responsible for two-thirds of gang-related crime.

KEN: Young people must have the chance of getting jobs, and not feel excluded from society. We need proper apprentice schemes so that there are more routes into work for young people rather than just going to university.

Will you make London greener?

BORIS: I want to continue making London a cleaner, greener city to live and work in, and part of my nine-point plan includes restoring 300 acres of green space and planting 20,000 street trees. I have also asked Transport for London to plan for a westward expansion of the world’s most successful cycle hire scheme. Additionally, energy efficiency and

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Battle ground: Boris and Ken fight it out to become London’s next mayor

[Caption]

improving carbon emissions has been central to my new Housing Design Guide and the London Plan.

Name five pressing issues London is facing BORIS: [Doesn’t really answer the question] For London to remain the greatest big city in the world, it is critical we continue cutting waste at City Hall.

KEN: Highest fares in the world, cost of living, housing crisis, collapse in police morale, some serious crimes on the rise.

What was your best achievement as mayor?

BORIS: I have been able to cut total crime in London by 10.8 per cent, putting 1000 more police officers on the beat. But there is still more to do and I ask voters to give me a chance to finish the job we started.

KEN: Getting £5bn from [former prime minister] Gordon Brown to build 50,000 affordable homes.

How will London cope with the Olympics?

BORIS: We have always been confident everything will be ready for the Games. We have already successfully delivered many of the important improvements and upgrades. We are also making progress upgrading Tube services in time for the Olympics, and London Underground recently posted the most reliable performance figures on record.

KEN: I think the capital will cope with the Olympic Games reasonably well. I am worried about the VIP lanes making it more difficult, however, so I might allow buses and black cabs to use them.

Photos: Getty

What’s your favourite pub?

BORIS: Too many great pubs to choose from.

KEN: The Queensbury, in Willesden Green.

To have your vote on May 3, see

NOT A TWO-HORSE RACE OTHER MAIN CONTENDERS Lib Dem mayoral hopeful Brian Paddick (pictured) has stepped up his campaign this year, with the former Met chief winning over some of his critics. Paddick is hoping his 30-year stint with the Met will hold him in good stead with Londoners.

And he’s promised to tackle racism in the police force if he’s elected on May 3, saying: “There needs to be an absolute culture change in the police. I will put that pressure on to deal with racism and homophobia within the police.”

London’s only independent candidate, Siobhan Benita, has secured many column inches. The former civil servant said she would freeze transport fares until 2012, extend the Tube by an hour on weekends and said she would back a third runway at Heathrow, if elected.

“I may be an Independent candidate, but that doesn’t mean I am a single-issue candidate,” she said.

londonelects.org.uk

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SPORTNEWS

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NZ SIDES BOTH FACE BRAZIL IN OLYMPICS FOOTBALL

The New Zealand Oly Whites will open their Olympic campaign against Belarus on July 26 in Coventry and face Egypt at Old Trafford on July 29 before fronting up to Brazil at Newcastle’s St James’s Park on August 1.

The country’s womens team, the Football Ferns, have been grouped against Great Britain, Cameroon and Brazil.

Olympic organisers have promised to have tickets on sale by early May.

BRUTON THE MAN AS BREAKERS TAKE TITLE BASKETBALL Two late baskets by CJ Bruton and a clutch block by Tom Abercrombie helped the New Zealand Breakers secure the NBL title over the Perth Wildcats in Auckland last week.

Inspired by a crowd of more than 9000, finals MVP Bruton was the star of the show and hit two clutch three-pointers in the last two minutes to take the Breakers to a seven-point lead.

It was a suitably exciting end to one of the closest and most intense series of finals, the Breakers winning the best-of-three battle 2-1 to secure back-to-back titles.

SLIDING DEBATE RAISES ITS HEAD AFL THE debate over players sliding in legs- or knees-first has kicked off, with Sydney coach John Longmire and his West Coast counterpart John Worsfold disagreeing on the issue.

Longmire said he had no problem with North Melbourne forward Lindsay Thomas being cleared over an incident that broke Swan Gary Rohan’s leg, but said the rules remained confusing and insisted the AFL was fine-tuning its approach.

However, Worsfold’s stance was at odds with Longmire’s, and he said all 18 coaches had been shown a dvd of what was and wasn’t acceptable. “I still think it’s pretty common sense about what’s correct and what’s not correct,” he said. “I don’t think there’s too much of a grey area.”

48

How do you say ‘touché’ in Japanese? Ryo Miyake, of Japan, competes against Kulakov Dmitriy, of Kazakhstan, in the Men's Foil Team Tableau at the Asian Fencing Champs at Wakayama Big Wave, Japan. South Korea dominated the medal count at the event

THE OLYMPIC DECISION Heading out of town after the Olmpics?

www.pssremovals.com

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Would I like to be known as a great golfer or someone who wears great, great clothes? I’d like to be known for both British golfer Ian Poulter likes to make a big impression both on and off the course

He needs to do a lot of work on a lot of things like fitness, attitude ... and be exemplary off the park

Timing is everything for City

PREVIEW Premier League title decider MANCHESTER CITY V MANCHESTER UNITED MONDAY, 7PM, SKY SPORTS 1 This is a dream end to the season if you’re a neutral – the two best teams in the country going head-to-head to decide who will take the crown for 2011/2012. But if you’re a City or United fan, your nails will be much shorter come the end of the match.

United have done themselves no favours lately, losing 0-1 to Wigan and then blowing a lead to draw 4-4 with Everton.

Perhaps City coach Roberto Mancini was playing mindgames when he effectively conceded that United had won the title a few weeks back, lulling his crosstown rivals into a false sense of security.

Since losing 0-1 at Arsenal in early April, his team have put 12 goals past West Brom, Norwich, and Wolves conceding only one. During the same period, United have scored eight and conceded five.

City will be eager to exploit that shaky defence, setting free Aguero, Tevez and Balotelli to wreak havoc upon, and perhaps finish off, their rivals. Top-quality action.

NZ Cricket chief David White on bighittting, but troubled, batsman Jesse Ryder. Good luck with that

You never want to let the ball get out the back on a wet day Essendon coach James Hird offers some sage advice after his team was beaten

by Collingwood 11.14 (80) to 11.13 (79) in the final minutes of AFL’s Anzac Day match last week

TV HIGHLIGHTS

THE CHAT |

Photos: Getty

BASEBALL John Obi Mikel wants the bans on Q Chelsea’s Chelsea players overturned for the Champions League Final. What’s to be made of that?

Nigeria international says his teammates Raul Meireles, A The John Terry, Ramires and Branislav Ivanovic are all devastated at racking up suspensions during their semi-final at Barcelona and has called for Uefa to cancel the bans. It won’t happen, plain and simple. Fifa did change their rules for the 2010 World Cup to provide an amnesty after the last eight to ensure no players missed the final through a booking in the last four. But there’s no way UEFA would do the same in time for May’s final in Munich. Mikel should have made the call earlier in the year, not just when his team has been hit hard. Hard luck, Chelsea.

Miami v Arizona Top MLB action Monday, 4.30pm. ESPN

FOOTBALL Napoli v Palermo An exciting Serie A clash Tuesday, 7.45pm. ESPN

SNOOKER World Championships ‘Take that’

Quarter-final action Tuesday, 1.30pm. BBC2 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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ADVERTORIAL

London Broncos hit the road London Broncos, the capital’s only Super League club, will be taking home games On The Road this May in a bid to promote rugby league to new fans and continue to spread the growing support in the South.

With adult tickets price at only £10 and kids’ tickets for just £1, there is no better opportunity to get a taste of rugby league at a ground near you. This offer is available until April 29 for the game against Bradford Bulls, and May 13 for the encounter with Hull FC. After these dates, ticket prices will revert back to £15 for adults and £5 for kids.

The Broncos regular home is the famous Twickenham Stoop, but fans in South East London and Kent will get the chance to see top-flight rugby league action on their doorstep at the one-off events in May. The first of the two On The Road fixtures will see the Broncos take on Bradford Bulls at Brisbane Road, the home of Leyton Orient FC, on Sunday, May 6 at 2pm.

Two weeks later, the Broncos are heading to Kent for their clash with Hull FC at Gillingham FC’s MEMS Preistfield Stadium on Sunday, May 20, with kick off at 2pm.

After six years playing under the guise of Harlequins Rugby League, the London Broncos reverted back to their most popular moniker for the 2012 season and a new look for the club has been matched with new faces in the dressing room.

Former Australian rugby league captain Craig Gower was recruited after spending four years playing union for French side Aviron Bayonnais and the Italian national team. The experienced scrum half was given the club captaincy by Head Coach Rob Powell, and he has taken little time in getting reacquainted with rugby league, putting in some eye catching performances so far this term.

Shane Rodney and Michael Robertson have both been in sparkling form for the club having joined from last season’s NRL Grand Final winners Manly Sea Eagles. The tough tackling Tongan, Antonio Kaufusi, another close season recruit, has 50

become a firm fans favourite for his bruising displays at prop.

Despite the influx of talent coming in from abroad, the Broncos squad is also littered with home-grown talent.

Youngsters Kieran Dixon and Dan Sarginson have begun cementing their place in the first team, having come through the academy system, while Tony Clubb has been a mainstay for the Broncos since his promotion to the senior side back in 2006. Clubb’s bullish performances at centre led to three England caps between 2008 and 2010, and his displays so far this term at prop have seen him again knocking on the door.

The Gravesend native will be hoping he can take his good form into the On The Road games, especially the Hull FC fixture in Gillingham, where he is expecting his family to be out in full support. “I’ve got uncles, aunties, cousins, my girlfriend’s family, so I’m going to need a lot of tickets! I’m really looking forward to it. It’s the first chance my granddad is going to come and see me play so I’m buzzed about it!”

Hailing from Kent, Clubb has seen first hand how rugby league has grown, with local club Medway Dragons making strides in the right direction and a number of their young players currently training with the Broncos academy.

The former England international is sure that the local fans will be out in force for the game.

“There’s a big support for rugby league up there. Medway (Dragons) are doing really well at the moment and there’s some great kids coming through, too, so I’m sure the fan base will be great.” Gillingham FC’s Commercial Director Stephen Lowe added: “It’s great to be using our facilities for a Super League game, bringing in new fans and families to MEMS Priestfield Stadium to sample what we have on offer.

“It is also pleasing to see how encouraged the local people are in having a professional rugby game here in Kent.”

The aim of the On The Road games is exactly that.

Taking Stobart Super League action to new audiences and communities.

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ADVERTORIAL

Photos: London Broncos

Captain Craig Gower leads the charge; Olsi Krasnqi (top right); Tony Clubb (bottom left)

London Broncos Chief Executive Gus Mackay believes that with the RFL looking to expand its audiences in London and the South, and the re-emergence of the Broncos, it was the right time to take rugby league to new locations.

“We’re hoping the games will attract fans who have not previously watched rugby league while also taking the game to fans who may not be able to get down to The Stoop,” Mackay explained.

“We picked the venues with great care as we believe they have the best chance of engaging with the community and bringing a new sport to the local public.”

At present, there are 20,000 young players who are actively engaged with rugby league in London via the London Broncos Rugby League Foundation and various community schemes.

One such scheme is the Hard Rock Café East London Rugby League Project whose objective it is to grow and sustain participation in rugby league for young people aged 12-25.

The game at Leyton Orient’s Brisbane Road against Bradford Bulls will give many of those who have taken up the game there, their first opportunity to witness live rugby league at the highest level.

Barry Hearn, Leyton Orient FC Chairman said: “We’re delighted to be working with London Broncos RL at this exciting time for the Club.

“Their concept of taking rugby league on the road in the south-east is sure to be a popular one with a growing fan base for the sport and we’re delighted to be hosting their prestigious fixture against Bradford Bulls.”

For anyone who has yet to witness the fast-paced, intense action of the Stobart Super League there really is no greater time to give it a try.

London Broncos Twickenham Stoop londonbroncosrl.com Richmond Twickenham Station

TICKETS Adult tickets are priced at £10 and Juniors at just £1* when bought up to a week in advance for either fixture. After that, Adult tickets are priced at £15 and Juniors £5. *Maximum of two Juniors per adult.

Tickets to the Bradford Bulls game at Leyton Orient’s Brisbane Road are available now and can be bought via Leyton Orient Football Club’s online ticketing website: lofcdirect.co.uk/events or over the phone by calling 0871 310 1883, or in person at The Oliver Road Ticket Office open 9.30am-4.30pm Monday to Friday.

Tickets for the Hull FC match can be purchased from the Gillingham FC website: gillinghamfc.talent-sport. co.uk and by clicking on the Other Matches tab.

Alternatively tickets can be bought over the phone at the Gillingham FC ticket office on 01634 300000, or in person at Gillingham Football Club, Redfern Avenue, Gillingham, Kent ME7 4DD.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights COMMENT: TOM[NAME] STURROCK COMMENT:

‘Ah, JT, you fool. You just made The List’

Resurgent Chelsea may yet extract unlikely silver lining But Roman Abramovich shouldn’t pretend he deserves any credit

» Agree or disagree? Should Roman butt out? letters@tntmagazine.com 52

BACKING HADDIN IS AN EMPTY SACK Aussie cricket captain Michael Clarke insists Brad Haddin remains the team’s first-choice keeper, but his replacement, Matthew Wade, is here to stay.

Throughout the tour of the Caribbean, Clarke has remained steadfast in his support for Haddin, who went home for personal reasons. He was at it again last week, just days before Wade’s maiden Test century extricated Australia from a sticky situation, and ended Haddin’s career, simultaneously making a mockery of Clarke’s diplomatic chit-chat.

“

Wade is number one – it’s a no-brainer

”

By the time Australia play their next Test, in South Africa in November, Haddin will be a 35-year-old with 388 runs to his name, at an average of 22, in the previous 20 months. It will be a choice between him and Wade, 10 years younger, with a superior first-class record, coming off a century in his last Test. It’s a no-brainer.

Clarke has to play it with a straight bat, but if he holds his line and Haddin is retained, something has gone wrong.

Photos: Getty

It has, by any measure, been an amazing turnaround for Chelsea, who start favourites against Liverpool in this weekend’s FA Cup final and must now fancy their chances of clinching the Champions League after their remarkable win over Barcelona last week. But any success has come in spite of, not because of, owner Roman Abramovich’s string-pulling.

Chelsea have endured their worst Premier League campaign since Abramovich bowled up about 10 years ago. The fact they could still emerge from such a turbulent season with two pieces of silverware is nothing short of remarkable. Failure to qualify for next year’s Champions League would be a disaster for Chelsea and their Premier League form has been so poor that they currently sit outside the top four, too low to qualify for next year’s tournament. Unless they win it this year, in which case they would be given a spot.

Given the polarity of Chelsea’s performances it is worth asking whether Abramovich has been part of the problem or part of the solution. He paid £13.3m to poach Andre Villas Boas from FC Porto with the brief of rebuilding Chelsea’s ageing roster. That plan, though, didn’t go down too well with the senior players and, apparently, that was enough to change the Russian’s mind and sack Villas Boas. And, to be fair, the players have responded emphatically, vindicating, at least partly, the owner’s decision to side with them.

But Abramovich has already drawn up a star-studded shopping list, reportedly flagging plans to buy a striker, two full-backs and an attacking midfielder. And what of the caretaker manager, Roberto Di Matteo? Some might assume that Chelsea’s revival would guarantee the Italian a permament job, but Abramovich, as ever, may have other ideas.

The great paradox is that, even if Chelsea finally deliver the owner his most coveted prize, he may still spurn that continuity. It would be the smoking gun, proof of Abramovich’s fundamental misunderstanding of how to run a football club beyond having the means to outspend his rivals.

tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com [email]

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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S

A MONTH OF PORTING ACTIO

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It’s no pillowfight Lingerie Football is headed Down Under to seduce and convert WORDS TOM STURROCK

Business is booming. It is, with only a hint of hyperbole, America’s fastest growing sport and now it’s got designs on global domination. Women in sport often play second fiddle to the fellas but here we have a football code – seven against seven full-contact American gridiron – breaking payper-view records and growing with alarming speed since it arrived just three years ago. The kicker, of course, is that it’s played by models in their underwear.

The Lingerie Football League is the brainchild of Mitch Mortaza, a technology exec who cashed in during the internet boom of the 1990s before dipping his toe into the world of sports marketing. His venture began with a oneoff Lingerie Bowl in 2004, its success emboldening him to set up a full-time league with 10 franchises, all with ’sexy’ names like Chicago Bliss and Orlando Fantasy, telecast to 43 countries worldwide.

“It’s been an incredible ride. To start with, people told us that no stadium would book our events and we’d never find models willing to put their bodies on the line to play football,” Mortaza admits. “But it’s all happened and then some. It started out almost taboo but has turned mainstream – we’re outpacing WWE and UFC after their first three seasons.

“I thought I would need to have a 10-year plan; I expected to run out of money and have to beg, borrow and steal. But now we’re expanding already. The appetite internationally has been incredible.”

Indeed, this month Mortaza took his roadshow to Sydney to build anticipation for two All-Star games to be played in Brisbane and Sydney in June. And then, in early 2013, Australia’s own league, with teams to be based in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Perth will kick off. Impressively, a world series in Brazil is also in the pipeline, with as many as 65,000 expected to show up.

Mortaza seems like he’s on to a winner but there’s still 54

plenty of scepticism – after all, it’s hot girls running around in their pants, not real sport. Right?

“These girls are serious athletes – 98 per cent competed at college level,” Mortaza insists. “Does it objectify women? Most people who ask that haven’t seen a game. When you see how seriously they take the game – of course we use sex appeal to sell the product and get attention, but unless we were a real sport that demanded real athleticism, it wouldn’t grow.”

“

We’re tough – we’ve had girls with concussion

”

Chloe Butler (main image, left) hails from far north Queensland, where she grew up playing rugby, and later represented Australia in track and field.

Now, though, she runs around for the Los Angeles Temptation, the three-time reigning champions, where she plays as an inside and outside receiver and won all-star selection in her second year.

“Marketing is a huge part of all sport,” the 24-year-old says, batting away the reservations about the seriousness of a sport where competitors are in their underwear. “Look at someone like David Beckham. He’s made a few bucks by taking his shirt off. I was a runner and a gymnast and this isn’t that different. I’m an athlete and my body is my asset.”

A brief glimpse of Butler’s highlights reel confirms that she, like all her teammates and opponents, is eye-wateringly fit. The girls might be wearing lycra but there are no high heels or bling and the athleticism is hard to question.

“It’s for real – we’re tough girls,” Butler says. “Sometimes girls show up to try out and just want to do the glamorous side of it but they last about five minutes and we have

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Photos: Getty

Lingerie Footballl has attacted big crowds in the US; the Las Vegas Sin celebrate victory last year (top right); training day is always fun (bottom right)

a giggle at them. “Yes, I’ve had a wardrobe malfunction – I lost my pants after a touchdown. But once you’re in the zone, you forget about it. It’s intense – we’ve had girls with fractured ribs and smashed noses, we get girls with concussion.”

Lingerie Football has attracted predictable criticism for its supposed devaluing of mainstream women’s sport by peddling the implicit assumption that crowds will only tune in if the competitors are sexy.

In Lingerie Football, so the critics say, the sex appeal isn’t just the cherry on top – there’s no sundae without it. But Adrian Purnell (main image, right), another former track and field star, now a linebacker for the Tampa Breeze, is forthright when it comes to her footballing bona fides and her lack of concerns about the attire.

“Maybe people come for the uniforms but they come back for the product,” she says. “We’re all comfortable in our skin and it keeps the crowds around. I’ve been a cheerleader since I was seven years old and had my stomach showing so it doesn’t bother me at all.”

Even the dressing rooms, brimming with 20-something women in their smalls, are, according to Purnell, proper football inner sanctums, admittedly without the jockstraps and flicking towels.

“Every dressing room is different – some are pretty controlled while others have music blasting and it’s like a party. I like to turn up my music real loud and just get angry,” Purnell says. “But there are no pillowfights if that’s what you’re asking and we don’t have sleepovers.”

The more players such as Purnell and Butler insist that running around in their underwear is no big deal, the more it seems like Lingerie Football is one of the safest bets around.

After all, months before the first Australian bra strap has been twanged, Lingerie Football sounds more bankable than the A-League and no more contrived than T20 cricket.

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION MORTAZA BACKS HIS SHOW Australian crowds may not be immediately convinced but, either way, they’re going to get plenty of chances to change their minds and embrace Lingerie Football.

The Aussie league is bound to make a high-visibility splash and Mitch Mortaza (above) is confident of finding enough players with the right blend of telegenic athleticism to fill the new franchises.“We’re using the same formula in Australia as what worked in the US,” he says. “There are a ton of women with that athletics background but who have maybe hit that ceiling in terms of the notoriety they can achieve.”

That American football is tactically complex and mostly unfamiliar to Australian women is, according to Mortaza, no obstacle. They will learn on the job.

“As along as you have that intensity and athletic, we’ll teach you the game. Within 10 years, we expect this will be a major product that sits alongside the football codes.”

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

OPEN WIDE A zookeeper files the tusks of Happy the hippo at Taronga Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo, Australia. Wonder if Happy gets a sticker for being brave afterwards?

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, britainonview.com, Frankie Mullin

INSIDE

A GIANT PADDLE /60

PEACE OUT /70

KHAN YOU KICK IT? /76

Take on the North Coast Canoe Trail to discover Northern Ireland’s Giant’s Causeway and a few hidden gems, too.

Where better to unwind from London life than the City of Peace? But a gentle trip to Osnabrück in Germany unveils a bloody past.

Vast, desolate and populated by bone-eating, camel-milk-vodka-drinking nomads, Mongolia makes for one hell of an adventure.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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Caribbean carnival: get your feathers out

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

CUT THE CHAOS Yet again, Heathrow Airport is at the eye of a national shit storm.

BATABANO CARNIVAL George Town, Cayman Islands This carnival celebrates the more than 100 different nationalities found in the melting pot that is the Cayman Islands. It’s a colourful event 5 chocka with music, dance, pageantry, costumes and floats to honour the region’s diverse history of African and religious influences. In short, this Caribbean party is all about uniting the people by having a helluva good time.

MAY

WHY: The name of the festival pays tribute to the turtle farming heritage of the Cayman Islands. The word ‘Batabano’ refers to the tracks that sea turtles leave as they crawl on to the beach to nest, so finding these marks in the sand gives festival-goers further reason to celebrate.

WALPURGISNACHT The Brocken, Germany

caymancarnival.com

INTERNATIONAL MOLE FESTIVAL Puebla, Mexico

On the night of this old pagan festival, witches 30 and warlocks are said to gather high in the Harz Mountains to tell stories of the year’s evil deeds.

Expect lots of singing, dressing up and dancing around bonfires.

APR

thisisharz.com

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL

Edinburgh, Scotland

Inspired by an ancient Gaelic festival marking the 30 beginning of summer, there’s drama, fire juggling, bonfires and many more pyro-loving activities. This year marks the 25th anniversary of the flametastic fest, so it should prove especially spectacular.

APR

beltane.org

58

DO IT BECAUSE: This Carnival truly represents the Cayman Islands. The sounds of soca, calypso and steel drums reflect the fast rhythm of island life, and the eyepopping costumes and floats are inspired by the vibrant landscape.

The spicy-sweet sauce gets its very own festival for the 2-3 first time this year as part of Puebla’s 150th anniversary celebrations for Cinco de Mayo, when Mexican troops defeated the French forces here in 1862. The celebrations will feature chefs, tastings and demonstrations in the city where mole poblano originated.

MAY

5demayopuebla.mx/molefest/english

QUEEN’S DAY

Amsterdam, Netherlands Every year on April 30, the Dutch throw a massive street 30 party to honour their queen, Beatrix. The city becomes a sea of orange as patriotic folk dance in the streets.

APR

iamsterdam.com/en

Photos: TNT

Those of the glass-half-full variety are so goddamn gloomy, I can only surmise they must be nursing a warm piss in said glass, as the hysterical calls of “Olympics chaos at Heathrow!” continue to ring around the country.

Long queues at immigration following the Bahrain Grand Prix triggered the latest round of garment-rending, with Britons and EU passengers ‘forced’ to wait 20 minutes to get back into their country, according to the Telegraph.

This follows a letter from 11 of the UK’s major airlines to Theresa May, griping that passport checks will cause long queues at the airport during the forthcoming Games.

Can we all just give Heathrow a break? I hardly consider 20 minutes an unacceptable amount of time to be queuing in one of the world’s busiest airports – especially as I was stranded in a two-and-a-half-hour line at JFK last time I flew to New York, which I do consider pretty freakin’ lame for a major airport that knows how many passengers are likely to be passing through.

Nor have I ever been approached by corrupt staff at Heathrow looking for a hefty bribe to rush me through riotously disorganised scenes at immigration, like I was at Sharjah Airport in the UAE. OK, so Terminal 5 lost my bag once, but it was hand-delivered to my home address the next morning.

And, considering the uproar splashed across front pages last year when it was revealed that passport checks had been relaxed, it’s a little rich that now Heathrow is being lambasted for reinforcing them.

Personally, I’d much prefer to wait a little longer in line than let crowds of dodgy geezers into the country during the Olympics.

How about you?

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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KAZAKHS HEART BORAT The foreign minister for Kazakhstan has publicly thanked Sacha Baron Cohen for putting the country on the tourist map with his hit film Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan. Baron Cohen’s not-quite-complimentary portrayal of the country at first drew anger from Kazakh officials, but Yerzhan Kazykhanov has now conveyed his thanks in parliament, announcing that “after this film the number of visas issued to Kazakhstan grew by 10 times”. He added: “This is a big victory for us and I thank Borat for attracting tourists”.

Photos: Freud PR

STOP THE PRESS Breaking news, people – scientific research has proved that a beach holiday can make you feel relaxed. Following a two-year study, which assessed 2750 individuals aged between eight and 80, it was ‘discovered’ that outdoor locations were linked with positive emotions of enjoyment and calm, with visits to the coast proving the most beneficial. Mathew White, from the European Centre for Environment and Human Health in Truro, Cornwall, suggested that liking to be beside the seaside might be “hardwired” into our brains. Who woulda thunk it?

DISCOUNT “D’OH!” Hotels4U has told the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) it was forced to withdraw a oneday discount campaign after it lost the company more than £120,000 within the first few hours of launching. Customers made a complaint to the ASA about the deal ending earlier than was stipulated, but Hotels4U argued it had no alternative when the social media campaign took off quicker than expected. The company estimated there’d be 570 discounted hotel bookings on Christmas Day, when the deal was valid, but had racked up 2600 by 6.30am.

TROPICAL DISEASE The Malaria Awareness Campaign launches next week, following a report by the Health Protection Agency that about 50 per cent of malaria cases in England are not officially reported. Records show that every year, 2000 people return to the UK from abroad with the disesase, which is one of the world’s biggest killers. About 90 per cent of travellers who contract it abroad do not become ill until after they return home. Check out the campaign’s website, malariahotspots. co.uk, before you go abroad – you could save yourself a nasty disease.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Big draw: the Giant’s Causeway is Northern Ireland’s most iconic natural wonder

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Causeway coast NORTHERN IRELAND

SCOTLAND Giant’s Causeway

NORTHERN IRELAND BELFAST

GETTING THERE Travel from London to Dublin with SailRail, which costs from £50 return. arrivatrainswales.co.uk/sailrail Trains from Dublin to Belfast cost from £20 return, and from Belfast to Portrush from £21 return. translink.co.uk

Open all day, 55 Degrees North in Portrush is an all-rounder and, with its large glass windows, is the ideal spot to keep an eye on the tides. Order before 6.45pm and you’ll get three courses of pub-style grub (soups, burgers and pasta) for £10. 55-north.com For a traditional Irish bar with a friendly welcome on tap, O’Connors in Ballycastle is hard to beat. oconnorsbar.ie A former fisherman’s cottage right on the trail, the rustic Port Moon Bothy (think camping under stone rather than canvas) opens in June. Rates haven’t been finalised yet, but an overnight stay here should cost about £8pppn. ccka.co.uk Coast Bistro, also in Portrush, is the place to head to load up on stonebaked pizzas, from £3.45. ramorerestaurant.com Kiwi’s at DG Brasseries aims to be the closest thing to a New Zealand surfers’ bar this side of Belfast. The Portrush venue isn’t quite there yet, but it does do a great line in beers, including NZ’s Steinlager. dgsbrasserie.com

The writer takes on the trail; right: Carrick-A-Rede rope bridge 60

Whitepark Bay Hostel in Ballintoy overlooks one of the longest and whitest sweeps of sand along the trail. Dorm beds cost from £17pppn. hini.org.uk

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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A giant paddle

UKTRIP

Take on the North Coast Canoe Trail to discover the Giant’s Causeway and a few hidden gems, too

Photos: TNT; Thinkstock,; Rhiannon Batten; Robin Ruddock

WORDS RHIANNON BATTEN

My hands are shaking. It isn’t the cold making me shiver, but what lies beneath. As we kayak towards Port Na Spaniagh, off Northern Ireland’s Causeway Coast, my guide, Robin Ruddock, tells me the story of The Girona, a Spanish ship that sank here during the Armada. But I am unprepared for the spooky feeling of stillness that surrounds us as we paddle over its ruins. Is there more than decaying timber swirling in the inky waters below?

Luckily there isn’t time to find out. I am here to test out a two-day, three-night stretch of the North Coast Canoe Trail, a new sea-kayaking route around the top of Northern Ireland that will eventually link up with other trails to form a ring around the whole of Ireland. The full 130km trail reaches from MacGilligan to Waterfoot in six stages but the 34km section we are covering, from Ballycastle to Portrush, will see me paddling past some of the region’s most iconic sights. Indeed, it’s the chance to paddle up to the Giant’s Causeway (the 40,000 interlocking basalt columns created by an ancient volcanic eruption), rather than clamber down to it from a car park, that has sold me on this trip.

Setting out on a morning so sunny we might have been kayaking off Naples rather than Northern Ireland, we push west, along cliffs heavy with razorbills and kittiwakes, to a sea cave below the ruins of Kenbane Castle. Following Robin’s instructions I paddle into its dark, barnacle-fringed gloom, rich with the salt-sour tang of seaweed. Sunglasses freckled with crusted surf hide the surrounding detail from me but it is clear that there is light up ahead.

“Let’s go for it,” shouts Robin, and we paddle ferociously towards the brightness. Hauling our double kayak over the incoming waves in a frenzy of spray and echo and commotion, suddenly we’re over the breaking point and popping back out into the sunshine.

After that, inching the kayak through a narrow gap in the rock below the famous Carrick-A-Rede rope bridge is a breeze. In operation since the 17th century, the bridge was traditionally used by local salmon fishermen to get them from the mainland to Carrick-A-Rede island, where they would bring their catches in. Today only shoals of tourists make the precarious crossing.

From here, a long, gentle stretch of water takes us past the spectacular white-sand beach at Whitepark Bay and the

quaint fishing hamlet of Portbraddan to Dunseverick, where we dip out of the trail for the night.

A former teacher, Robin has a gift for bringing local history to life. The following morning, as we return to Dunseverick and paddle towards the Giant’s Causeway, he distracts me from today’s giant waves with the tale of an ancient fiddler from the Blasket Islands, off Ireland’s southwest coast. In his boat one day, he heard singing below him and thought it was fairy song. Committing the melody to memory on his fiddle, when he got home he played it to his fellow villagers. They looked at him in shock; it wasn’t

“

We paddle ferociously in a frenzy of spray

”

fairy music he’d captured but the song of a humpback whale.

I’m so engrossed that I almost miss the sight of a run of almighty waves crashing into the Causeway’s hexagonal columns. The weather has turned and, in such a huge swell, it’s too dangerous for us to get any closer. Instead we settle for admiring the geological and marine fury from a distance and paddle on, past Portballintrae, to the shelter of the Skerries, a series of small, seal-speckled islands where we can rest before our final wind-whipped assault on Portrush.

“What you’ve just done is the equivalent, in sea kayaking terms, of a climber tackling the Eiger,” says Robin, flatteringly, when we finally drag our boat out of the wave-pummelled harbour. It isn’t the blisters I’ll remember most about the trip, though, or even the Giant’s Causeway. It is the secret beaches, caves and islands that you can only reach by paddling. ❚

NEXT WEEK

More on the North Coast Canoe Trail at canoeni.com robin-ruddock.com

Bath: Romans, Georgians, and an escapologist rabbit

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PRAGUE Two nights in Prague is £129pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation and return flights from London Gatwick. Departs May 7.

VIENNA Three nights in Vienna is £219pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and return flights from London Gatwick.

Departs June 10.

KEFALONIA Seven nights on the Greek island of Kefalonia is £222pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com).

Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and return flights from London Gatwick.

Departs May 12.

TURKEY Seven nights in Turkey is £199pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, all-inclusive accommodation and return flights from London Luton. Departs on May 14.

LISBON Three nights in Lisbon is £219pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and return flights from London Luton.

Departs on May 9.

MAJORCA Seven nights in Majorca is £184pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet. com). Includes three-star, all-inclusive accommodation and return flights from London Stansted. Departs May 14.

£250 – £500

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Back to The Cinque Terre â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Cheers the restored villages After the disastrous floods of last autumn Cinque Terre have a new birth. Stunning coastal path with beautiful Mediterranean flora, crystalline water and hided small beaches are waiting for you!

Trip Highlights: * The illustrious five villages of Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore * Breathtaking views of the emerald blue Mediterranean Sea * Steep terraced hills of olive groves, vineyards and lemon trees * Outstandingly delicious sea food and the famous Trofie al Pesto * Fabulous beaches for swimming Duration: 5 days Price from: ÂŁ 274 Tripcode: ITSW015 Challenge: These walks, though not very long, are moderate to demanding because of the steep hills. Several walks can be shortened. Lodging: In both Monterosso and Bonassola we use comfortable 3 star hotels with a friendly family run atmosphere. All the rooms have private bathrooms, TV mini-bar and hair drier. A good continental breakfast is served each morning. Dinner is only included on the first night in Bonassola (drinks excluded). All the hotels are near to all amenities.

T +39 055 2345334 W www.s-cape.eu 64

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Desert landscapes When shooting expansive, desert landscapes it may be necessary to use a wide-angle lens. In order to keep the whole scene in focus, it can be useful to use a high F-stop value to help maximise your depth of field. This might result in a longer exposure, so take a lightweight tripod with you. Think about where the focal point of

your image will be. The eye needs something to rest on, and a wellplaced structure – an interesting rock or even a camel – can provide that. Deserts can seem desolate, but they possess an enchanting beauty. Watch the sand and rocks change colour through the day. An early-morning shot can undergo a dramatic transition by midday.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER DAHAB BY DUSK Geoff Billing, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS The setting sun has cast the far off mountains ablaze in a sea of red and oranges. Yellows and blues lay one on top of the other with gradients of delicate primary colours. The pebble beach, the softly undulating sea, and the horizon constructs a series of lines that converge to a single focal point, the watchful camel in the foreground.

RUNNER-UP THE ALTIPLANO ROCK TREE Alex Yorke, Australia

WHY IT WORKS The rock in the centre has become more than a tourist attraction – it sits like an abstract sculpture in the middle of the Bolivian desert. The shadow creates a strong contrast right in the centre, a black hole of nothingness. Although, in reality, the rock is minute compared to the mountain range in the background, in this image, the Altiplano rock tree dwarfs the surrounding scenery.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

1

MYTHICAL MONSTER BREAKS

@tntmagazine

YETI, HIMALAYAS

A creature that also goes by the name of ‘the Abominable Snowman’ might not immediately strike paralysing, pant-peeing fear into our hearts, but yeti sightings have been doing the rounds for hundreds of years – and the myth just won’t die, with ‘evidence’ piling up over the centuries.

‘Found’ in the Himalayan region of Nepal and Tibet, the yeti was worshipped in pre-Buddhist times by several communities. But it was in the early 20th century that legend of the beast swept the West, as explorers began scaling the mountains of the region. Hysteria peaked in 1951 when distinguished Brit mountaineer Eric Shipton photographed large animal prints in the snow as he attempted to climb Everest.

Fast forward to the 21st century and the lore lives on. Recent sightings have placed the yeti roaming as far east as the highlands of Thailand and Laos, and in 2007, the team behind US TV show Destination Truth claimed to have stumbled upon 25cm-wide footprints – complete with five toes 66 00

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– in the Everest region of Nepal.

That said, the show has also pursued mermaids, werewolves and the Mongolian death worm, so it might not be the most trustworthy source.

If you fancy mounting your own yeti-hunting expedition in the Himalayas, be sure to swing by the Khumjung monastery in north-eastern Nepal, where what is purported to be the scalp of a yeti is proudly displayed in a glass case.

However, it seems the yeti may have started to stray further north. The Daily Mail reported in October 2011 that an international team of scientists was mounting an investigation into the yeti in Siberia, following a rise in sightings around the Kemerovo region, 3000 miles east of Moscow. The pesky biped had apparently been making a nuisance of itself, stealing scores of sheep and hens from villagers.

Still, for your best shot at spotting the beast, the snowy peaks of Everest and Annapurna have produced the most sightings. Trek there if you dare … tourism.gov.np

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MYTHICAL MONSTER BREAKS

TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

2

OGOPOGO, CANADA

This lake monster was first spotted

by Canada’s Aboriginal peoples in the 19th century, and is said to measure 50ft in length.

Swimming in the waters of Okanagan Lake, in British Columbia, the creature is most unusual for producing a group sighting in 1926, when 30 people claimed to have seen Ogopogo all at once.

No word on whether they’d eaten a heap of mushrooms for lunch. tourismkelowna.com

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

4

BIGFOOT, CALIFORNIA, US

Also known as Sasquatch, this 6-10ft tall (depending on whose account you read) shaggy-haired ape has been largely ‘encountered’ in the Pacific north-west of the US. The most famous sighting was in Bluff Creek, California, in 1967, when Bigfoot enthusiast Roger Patterson caught the beast on film – lucky, seeing as he’d self-published a book about Bigfoot only the year before. Most sightings have been concentrated around this part of northern California. visitcalifornia.co.uk

3

‘NESSIE’, SCOTLAND

‘A maze’

The Loch Ness Monster first went public in 1933, when a Londoner who had been holidaying in the Scottish Highlands told the local rag about “the nearest approach to a dragon or prehistoric animal that I have ever seen”.

The Surgeon’s Photograph (pictured) – snapped in 1934 – has long been established as a fake, although a sonar image showing a 5ft-wide unidentified object in the loch landed the monster back in the headlines last month. visitlochness.com

5

TATZELWORM, THE ALPS

Locals in the Swiss, Bavarian, Italian and Austrian Alps have been reporting sightings of this 2-5ft worm-like lizard since the Twenties.

The worm is apparently as thick as an arm and has a cat-like head. In the Fifties, farmers as far south as Sicily complained of a serpent with a feline head that had attacked their pigs. So, either ski with an eye out for the hole-dwelling creature, or ask the Sicilian farming community for a few slugs of the homemade hooch they must’ve been chugging.

PARADE PARK OVERVIEW Picture a three-star B&B and you probably see a cosy, family-run operation in a cute cottage. Parade Park does not conform to type.

This multi-floor townhouse is a maze of rooms that can come off a little impersonal thanks to its sheer size, though the staff does a great job of offsetting this with a warm welcome.

WOW FACTOR Location, location location. The building is two minutes’ walk from famous sights including Sally Lunn’s, the Roman Baths, Bath Abbey and the Thermae Bath Spa. ROOMS Though small and many generations removed from ‘modern’, we’ve no complaints about comfort.

Flatscreen TVs with the standard selection of digital channels make for an up-todate surprise.

BILL PLEASE Room rates are surprising considering the metres you get for your money: the cheapest option is £55pn for a single room with shared facilities. That’s Bath real estate for you.

8-10 North Parade, BA2 4AL nilviphotelsgroup.com Single tickets from London Paddington to Bath Spa cost from £12.50 with First Great Western (firstgreatwestern.co.uk)

thealps.com; bestofsicily.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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Travel by train around Switzerland and gawp at gorgeous sights, including Lake Geneva

WIN

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AIRPORT LOUNGE VOUCHERS WORTH £60

If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

READERS’ TIPS

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

of my friends have been interrailing Q All except me, so I want to try exploring

looking at a trip to Scandinavia Q We’re in December, starting in Tromsø and

a country by train. But I don’t want anything too difficult as I’ll be on my own and only have a week. Do you have any advice?

Paul, via email

travelling by boat to Kirkenes. Can you suggest some good cultural experiences in Tromsø or Kirkenes? Meagan, via email

68

is a student party town so you will A Tromsø find plenty of activity in the evening. The Mack Brewery (mack.no) is a popular attraction (in particular its brewery tours) and the cathedral is one of the oldest wooden churches in Norway, built in 1861. The Tromsdalen church may not be as old, but is worth a look, as it is styled as an Arctic cathedral with glacial-themed stained glass and architecture.

In Kirkenes, check out the freezing cave of Andersgrotto, once used as a shelter in World War II. There’s also a reindeer safari park if you’ve not managed to spot one yet. Just a short walk from the centre of Kirkenes, the park is home to three reindeers.

At this time of year there is also a chance you could spot the Northern Lights, which is arguably the best experience available to travellers in this part of the world. It will be incredibly cold in December, so wrap up warm. If you don’t mind the cold, Kirkenes is home to an ice hotel, although a night will set you back a whopping £255. So why not just go for dinner and a visit to the hotel, which is £97?

Also, it is worth considering that it will be dark almost the entire time you are visiting the north, so plan your activities accordingly and always check opening times.

SECRET TRAIN TICKET There is a ticket called ‘Any Dutch station’ that lets travellers from the UK go to the Netherlands and stop off in Belgium within 24 hours for the same price of a ticket directly to the Netherlands. You can read more about it at loco2.com.

Anila, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Marcus Gyger

just been travelling around Switzerland A I’ve on my own by train and it’s easy peasy!

The trains almost always run on time, have restaurant cars and offer great views of the Swiss countryside – making travel a pleasure rather than a chore.

A recommended route would be to fly from London to Geneva. Lake Geneva is ideal in summer, as you can combine exploring the city’s old town with a swim to cool off. The complex Bains des Paquis is a good swimming spot. At Geneva train station you will be able to purchase all of your onward train tickets for the week if you know your route. It’s cheaper to buy tickets individually, rather than purchase a Swiss Pass.

After Geneva, head to the picturesque lakeside city of Lausanne. You could also visit Neuchatel, another of Switzerland’s prettiest lakeside spots. Next head to the capital city, Bern. If you haven’t had enough of gorgeous lakeside old towns yet, hop on a direct train from here to Lake Lucerne. Then go one final hour by train to Zurich, which despite being Switzerland’s largest city, is still relatively small and easy to explore. You’ll find the best of Switzerland’s nightlife in the west of Zurich, and you can fly directly back to London from here, too.

BUDGET DUBAI TIP Travelling to Dubai and OF THE want to go up the Burj WEEK Khalifa? Book the ticket the day before, because if you pay on the day, you have to stump up triple the price (about £50 instead of about £17). Time it so you can have dinner nearby afterwards and watch the dancing fountain display by Dubai Mall, which starts at 7pm every night, and you’ve got a great evening out.

Joanne Do, via email

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

MACHU PICCHU, PERU John Cronin, from Australia

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

EMMA MAYFIELD, 26

DANIELE SILVESTRI, 22

Newcastle, England

Pacentro, Italy

BEST Krakow. It was chilling to see Auschwitz, but it was fascinating. You can read about it in books, but it doesn’t do it justice – you really have to see it with your own eyes.

It’s something that everyone should do.

Best gig you’ve been to abroad?

I saw David Guetta in Ibiza last summer. I’ve never been to such a crazy concert! There was a lot of energy and he sounded great.

Ideal travel partner?

Someone adventurous because I’m often scared to try anything too risky. I just need someone to give me a push.

Top travel tip?

Don’t let friends discourage you from visiting somewhere because they didn’t like it.

Everyone has different experiences.

WORST I visited a friend who studies in the US and we took a road trip to Philadelphia. Her car is really old, so it kept breaking down along the way – I thought we were never going to get there. » Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: TNT

HOUSEBOAT PARTY Hire the 11-cabin MV Edward Elgar to cruise around the English countryside, with lounge bar, viewing deck, and ensuite, twin-bed cabins. Even better, homecooked food is served up by staff.

Exclusive hire of the MV Edward Elgar is £4378pn based on 22 people sharing, with all meals included englishholidaycruises.co.uk

THE INSIDER

PIP TYLER Overseas Director Neilson Holidays

My first big trip was my first summer season in the Mediterranean. My brother and I drove a 1966 Land Rover down through France and Spain. We made it without any major incidents, and even drove back via Eastern Europe.

My most challenging travel experience was when some friends and I got caught up in a nasty political demonstration in Bangkok. We hightailed it out of there so quickly, we just left our luggage and escaped on an internal flight to the islands. It worked out well, though: we hired motorbikes and toured the islands, which were quiet due to the troubles.

My favourite place in the world is sitting in the cockpit of a yacht, enjoying a cold beer with friends and family after a day cruising the Greek islands of the Ionian. No trip around that region has yet been the same as the one before. Perfect.

My guilty travel pleasure is the first, and sometimes second, cold beer after a day of activities.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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[Caption] Sitting pretty: Osnabrück is a cute spot to destress

Osnabrück

Osnabrück

NETHERLANDS

GERMANY GERMANY

GETTING THERE Flights from London Gatwick to Munster Osnabrück start from £130 return with Lufthansa. lufthansa.com/uk/en

Cologne

BELGIUM

Clockwise from left: the war museum; rolling fields; wine tasting; masks at the museum [Caption] 70

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Peace out Where better to unwind from London life than the City of Peace?

But a gentle trip to the German countryside unveils a bloody past WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

Human bones found here show that once, on this spot, people were hacked to death. Heads were severed from necks, arms sliced from torsos and ribs shattered. The fallen were then set upon by wild animals, which in turn left deep scars on the broken bones that lay amid rotting flesh.

Welcome to the City of Peace.

My first stop on a cycle tour from the German city of Osnabrück, which claims this pacifist title, is at a location that was, historically, anything but. Today, Kalkriese, adjacent to Osnabrück in Lower Saxony, is green and hazy; marshland, forest and distant hills stretch around us as we pull up on our bikes in front of the Kalkriese Museum and Park.

The museum building itself is the only thing suggestive of the human violence that makes this such an important historic site. Shunning any deliberate beauty, the structure is built from iron and its stark sides are rusting in bloody-looking sheets. “The locals hate it,” our guide says. “But perhaps that’s appropriate for a museum that commemorates war.”

The battle that took place here, in 9AD, was a brutal but decisive moment in European history. Ten thousand Roman troops, under the command of Varus, marched towards Kalkriese on order from Rome; their aim to subdue and conquer the unruly Germanic tribesmen. What they didn’t bargain for were the particular quirks of the local landscape – a constricted pass between forest and mountain – nor the wit and bravery of the tribesmen, widely dismissed as being backward and primitive. As Varus’s highly trained and disciplined legions reached the Kalkriese basin they were cornered and attacked by the Germanic warriors who, despite a lack of weapons and inferior numbers, slaughtered 10,000 in a defeat that shocked the Roman Empire.

Back on our bikes, we are herded onwards by local guide Lachlan MacDonald, resplendent in knee-length socks and sandals. Now in his sixties, the Scotsman has lived in Osnabrück for 20 years and is an enthusiastic spokesman for the area. We cycle along wide, flat roads between fields of maize as MacDonald points out local oddities, such as the ‘owl windows’ at the top of old barns, built to encourage the mouse-catching birds to make the buildings their own.

MacDonald makes us dismount as we pass through a tiny village, lest we swerve into the path of the sporadic cars that drive through at 30mph. As a sometime London cyclist, I have to snigger. We end our ride in the garden of Erwin and

Gudrun Kuhn, who are part of a scheme that allows visitors to check out private gardens. Amid trees and secret pathways leading between bushes, the couple have laid out coffee and cake. I wander around the beautiful garden, discovering a view across the adjacent fields that is as idyllic as they come.

“

A dark-robed figure appears in the doorway

It’s been a hearty, wholesome day and back in Osnabrück, I’m gagging for a drink. We hit Das Wein Cabinet wine bar and, under the expert guidance of owner Jean-François Pelletier, sample a range of German wines. Pelletier is on a mission to make Germany famous for wine in the way it is known for beer. The bottles we taste are delicious and we’re happily on our way to getting drunk when a dark-robed ››

Wild ride: the writer livens up the City of Peace TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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”

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figure carrying a staff appears in the doorway. I’ve sat next to a few weirdoes in my time so I try not to bat an eyelid when the strange man sits down next to me. “Would you like an olive?” I ask.

It transpires the Halloween-ish visitor has come to take us on a tour of the town. US expat Joseph Kaiser is dressed, he tells us, as a night-watchman from the 19th century. Back then, these eerie figures would patrol the streets at night, looking for drunks and troublemakers.

The tour culminates at a tower where those accused of witchcraft were once imprisoned. During the 16th and 17th centuries, 276 women and two men were executed for wizardry in Osnabrück. But for all its bloody past, Osnabrück now deserves its title as City of Peace: the Peace of Westphalia was signed here in 1648, ending the Thirty Years War, and it’s home to the German Foundation for Peace Research. On a personal note, after two days cycling and garden-watching, for an angsty Londoner, I feel almost ... peaceful. ❚ More on the garden scheme at gartentraumtour.de More on the city and tours at osnabrueck.de

The writer with Joseph Kaiser; a war museum artefact; the private garden

NEXT WEEK weirdoes

Girls-only surfing trip: we go riding the waves in Morocco

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Try Rampendahl for microbrews and simple, home-style food in an authentic rustic atmosphere. Mains from £8.90. rampendahl.de

Restaurant Walhalla serves fresh German cuisine with a creative twist.

Mains from £13.50. Timber-framed Weinkrüger (), built in 1692, is historic and atmospheric, its walls adorned with decorative tiles and antique objects. Mains from £9.50. weinkrueger.de hotel-walhalla.de

La Vie, in Osnabrück’s historic centre, is the only restaurant in Lower Saxony with three Michelin stars. As well as gourmet food, the restaurant holds wine-tasting sessions and cooking lessons. Try a three-course gourmet lunch for about £56. restaurant-lavie.de

DRINK

Boozing spots in Osnabrück’s ‘Bermuda triangle’ include Sonnendeck with a DJ and dance floor, where beers are about £1.80, and Sonderbar, (Lohstr. 21) which proudly claims to be the smallest pub in town. sonnendeck.biz

Hang out with Osnabrück’s students in the Old Town which is chocka with bars, including the lively Olle Use (Heger Straße 17), where you can get a beer for £2.45. Don’t miss trying some German wine at Das Wein Cabinet. dasweincabinet.de

Restaurant and bar Remise in the Old Town knocks up to-die-for cocktails for just over a fiver and has a mind-blowing selection of whiskeys for connoisseurs. remise-os.de

SLEEP

The Penthouse Backpackers Hostel is slap-bang in the middle of Osnabrück and has a fully equipped kitchen, rooftop terrace and a sauna.

There’s also free WiFi, the option of breakfast and laundry facilities. Dorm beds from about £12pn. penthousebp.com

Family owned Hotel Westermann is pleasant and conveniently located near to the Old Town. There’s also a breakfast buffet. Weekend rate for a single room is about £50pn. westermann-hotel.de

The Steigenberger Hotel Remarque is five minutes from the historic town centre. Rooms are comfy and there’s a choice of bars and restaurants within the hotel. If you’re feeling stressed, check out the sauna area or book a massage.

Weekend rate for a standard single including breakfast is about £80pn. steigenberger.com/en

EAT

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Photos: Karl Johaentges and Grovermann/Varusschlacht im Osnabrücker Land , Thinkstock

BUDGET

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Get your freak on This is Kathmandu in 48 hours WORDS ADAM LEYLAND

DAY 1: 09:00 Steeped in more than 2000 years of history, Nepal’s capital is a colourful melting pot of age-old Asian cultures and traditions. Start off your day with a trip to the dazzling and iconic Durbar Square (Ganga Path, admission £6), a series of courtyards housing unique centuries-old palaces and temples. The location for the crowning of kings, Durbar Square is one of the most religiously important and remarkable areas in all of Nepal.

Check out the Kasthamandap wooden temple, which legend says was built from a single tree. This renowned pagoda is also said to have no nails or rivets holding it together.

13:00 From Durbar Square, find some relative quiet in nearby Snowman Cafe (Freak Street) for a coffee and chocolate cake (roughly £3). Freak Street itself is a must-see: it was Kathmandu’s most famous thoroughfare in the Sixties and Seventies, when the city was filled to the gills with hippy overlanders in search of enlightenment. It remains popular with the backpacking crowd, though you are as likely to find a flat white as a banana pancake nowadays.

14:30 Prepare to be dazzled by the traditional rituals and customs at the Hindu Pashupatinath temple (on the banks of the Bagmati River). One of the most sacred Hindu temples of Lord Shiva in the world, you can also see pilgrims bathing at the adjacent ghats. There are many open-air Hindu cremation ceremonies along the riverbank, especially at Bhasmeshvar Ghat.

16:00 Head to tourist-friendly Thamel, with its chilled-out hippy vibe, and check out The Roadhouse Cafe 74

(Chaksibari Marg, Kathmandu 44600) for a much-needed late lunch. It’s heralded by many as serving the best pizzas in Nepal, so be sure to try a wood-oven-baked dish with hot chillis on the side (£7). Thamel is the budget traveller’s hood of choice, with its warren of winding lanes offering up cheap accommodation, great restaurants and tours.

18:00 Being 4600ft above sea level, the temperature may fall a little, so wrap up and walk out of Thamel to the Sunset Bar (Hotel Vajra, Bijeswari, Swayambhu). Grab a relaxing beer for about £1.50 while watching the sun set, and take in the panoramic views of this beautiful city.

19:30 Flag down a tuk tuk and whizz over to Bhojan Griha Restaurant (536 Dillibazar). Sample the traditional dishes (roughly £5) and enjoy the Nepalese folk music and dancing, provided by any one of the dozens of ethnic groups that travel from the nearby mountains to perform.

21:00 Step into the 21st century and have a gander at the growing Nepalese punk metal scene. Check out The House of Music (Thamel Road) for upcoming local talent and general debauchery, courtesy of Kathmandu’s up-for-it traveller population.

02:00 A stone’s throw from the House of Music is your bed for the night, at Hotel Encounter (encounternepal.com, about £21 per night). Get yourself a room with a balcony, soak up the sights of the city and then hit the hay.

DAY 2: 11:00 After a lie in, enjoy some breakfast. Body aching from all that dancing last night? Wander down the road for a rejuvenating massage at the NGO-run Seeing Hands Clinic (Kumari Marg, Jyatha, Thamel, about £10).

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Wise men: sadhus gather at Hindu Pashupatinath temple

Photos: Getty

After an unforgettable rub-down performed by the blind masseuers, your hangover should be a thing of the past.

13:00 Grab some lunch at Gaia Restaurant (Jyatha, Thamel). Tuck into one of Kathmandu’s best-loved dishes – vegetable momos (dumplings) – and a juicy chicken kebab, washed down with a lemon, ginger and honey drink for about £9.

15:00 Avoid the tourist hordes and join Tibetan Buddhist monks at the mesmerising Bouddhanath stupa (Bouddhanath, admission £1.50). The Unesco site was built in the 12th century and is one of the holiest Buddhist sites in Kathmandu. It’s also said to house the remains of Kassapa Buddha, a buddha born in Nepal. Make time to wander Kathmandu’s less touristy old town, too, to give a more accurate picture of the city.

19:00 Enjoy dinner at one of Kathmandu’s musical and culinary institutions, The Funky Buddha (Bhagawot Sthan, Thamel). Start off with a thukpa noodle soup, and end on a dhal and a curry, for about £6. Round it off by trying one of the many flavours of shisha pipes on offer.

22:00 Fancy a dance and a few beers? Stay where you are!

The Funky Buddha evolves into a club at night, playing some of the freshest electronic music around. Stomp to some dirty psy-trance and finish your magical weekend with a bang.

Return flights from London to Kathmandu, via Mumbai, start at £685 with Jet Airways jetairways.com

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Khan you kick it?

Vast, desolate and populated by bone-eating, camel-milk-vodkadrinking nomads, Mongolia makes for one hell of an adventure WORDS MIKE MACEACHERAN

WHEN TO GO: May to September are the best months, Over the years, I’ve found myself in some Ulaanbaatar’s Golden Gobi Hostel, run by with peak season falling in July for strange situations abroad. I’ve had my affable family team Uugii, Soko and Baysaa. the annual Naadam festival. hand inside the mouth of a wild leopard Like many before me, I want to embark on in the African bush; fallen off a moving a cross-country trip to discover why the CURRENCY: £1 = MNT2071 train outside Mumbai; and been chased by country is known as ‘the land of the blue (Mongolian tughrik). corrupt police in Myanmar. I’ve even lavasky’. My plan is simple: drive in an antiACCOMMODATION: The surfed down a live volcano in Nicaragua and clockwise circuit for 21 days with four fellow family-run Golden Gobi Hostel is been shot at by drug dealers in downtown travellers seeing the best the country has Ulaanbaatar’s premier backpacker Denver. But I don’t think anything could have spot. It organises tours to every to offer. We have a van and a local guide prepared me for the sheer terror of being (organised by the hostel with 48 hours’ conceivable destination in the challenged to down a full glass of fermented notice for £200pp – price depends on number country, and it’s the perfect place sour camel milk vodka by a wrinkly, of people, length of trip and haggling to hook up with other travellers octogenarian goat herder on the semi-arid prowess), and an entire country to traverse. for tours to the Gobi Desert and wild steppes north of the Gobi Desert.

It turns out to be an epic journey. We beyond. Dormitory beds from less I arrive in Mongolia after a whirlwind trip see ice-canyons, fossil-filled deserts, and than £4pp, privates from about from Moscow on the TransMongolian Express glaciers that are so large, they roll beyond £12pp. (goldengobi.com) train. Taking six days straight to cross the the western borders into Kazakhstan. We SEE: mongoliatourism.gov.mn 7621km from Russia to China, I’d booked hike, bike, fish, camp and camel trek, but top a second-class ticket (kupe) and found myself in a lower bunk of our list is to visit Genghis Khan’s birthplace in Karakorum, sleeping couchette in a four-bed cabin. My fellow passengers sandboard in the Gobi Desert, and go horse riding across the were two Russian soldiers on leave, both of whom spoke famous Mongolian steppe. little English, and a salesman from Novosibirsk, south-west Horse riding is a must-do in Mongolia. It is an inspirational Siberia. We began by communicating with hand signals, but setting in which to learn and Mongolians take their favoured within hours, they were sharing meat-and-potato pies and sport deadly seriously. The night before leaving the capital, toasting to my good health with vodka.

I meet a French traveller who has bought a stallion for £370.

Drinking the crystal-clear alcohol may be synonymous His plan is to learn to master it, and then travel solo, crosswith Russia, but the Russians have nothing on their southerly country to the Altai Tavan Bogd National Park in the west. neighbours. The Mongols consume vast quantities of the I ask him why. “Because in Mongolia I can,” is his simple reply. beverage and even the production of Mongolian vodka The scourge of god is a more elaborate affair. Commonly, their milky-white coloured drink is filtered through a cloth and decanted into That horse riding is a way of life in Mongolia should come a large open leather sack, known as a khukhuur. Like its as no surprise to those who know their history. Genghis Khan, or ‘world conqueror’, ‘emperor of all men’, and the close cousin airag, made from sour mare’s milk, it is an ever‘scourge of god’ as he called himself, rode his horse from present national drink. Sharing a cracked teacup full of this the central steppe to India and China, before overthrowing potent spirit is a quintessential Mongolian experience: it is the Turks and every ruler in his path from Kiev to the Korean hard to stomach but impossible to forget. The taste is akin peninsula. Chinggis, as the Mongols call him, also killed his to month-old milk mixed with vomit and stomach acid. half-brother in cold blood for stealing one of his fish when Road trip he was only nine years old. Strangely, legend has it that he was afraid of dogs.

Pre-Mongolian hangover and still naïve to the evils of Today, Genghis Khan’s legacy is celebrated in a million ›› fermented camel milk, I start out from the capital of TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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[Caption] and one different ways. There is Genghis-branded pizza, cigarettes, bus companies, makes of toilet paper and even a carpet factory selling Genghis-approved linoleum and rugs.

It is outside of the capital, however, where things get more unpredictable. Our first three days are spent crisscrossing between one-horse towns and nomadic camps. At our first stop, every villager rushes to greet us (population 26 people, 50 sheep, 250 goats) and, during our second, a young child rides down the village’s only street bareback to welcome our van. A week later in Ölgii, the tiny capital of the mountainous western province, we visit a local market and watch in amazement as a butcher, rather than throw scraps of meat into a bin, hurls the slabs high into the air where they are caught by packs of swooping eagles. That same day, at a Mongolian disco, whereas at a club in London you can be approached by a dodgy geezer selling pills behind the DJ booth, I am pleasantly surprised to be offered a halfeaten yak sausage.

Horse riding is a serious national sport. Left, top to bottom: help locals round up goats; Genghis Khan vodka; prayer flags; wrestlers at the capital’s annual Naadam Festival food takes a lot of getting used to. There are lashings of mutton-fat-flavoured noodle soup, steamed buuz dumplings with goat, and camel-meat porridge. We are also introduced to a local Kazakh speciality: boiled bones, fatty indiscernible organs and a skull, presented swimming in a plastic bucket.

As the days roll past, we discover that ‘the land of blue sky’ is a massive understatement. As the country is one of the biggest in the world, with 80 per cent of the land still untouched by human development, there is a mind-boggling

Down south Yet this is civilisation compared to what awaits us in the south of the country. The Mongolians’ nomadic lifestyle means that they rely on their animals for survival and, as around half of the population roam the vast plains as farmers, encampments are minimal to help them move on throughout the year. So when staying the night with a family near the dusty town of Dalanzadgad, we are expected to help round up the goats at dusk in return for our bed for the night; when we arrive at breakfast near the Hustai National Park, families need help milking their animals before boiling the milk and turning it into salty tea, known as suutei tsai.

During these unique family-hosted overnight stops, the 78

A Mongolian ger. Expect ‘challenging’ home-cooked food

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amount of wide-open space. When driving from BayanÖlgii in the far western provinces of the country to the Gobi Desert, I feel as though we may as well be driving across the face of the moon: the sense of freedom is incomparable.

Dinosaur country Few places on Earth can rival the bleakness of the Gobi, and it is in this desert that we find the blue sky we have been looking for. There are bone-dry plains, salt lakes and sandy wastes, camels, cranes, hawks and gazelles, and a seemingly endless sky. Driving east, we reach Yolyn Am, a beautiful canyon that has a year-round glacier snaking along the

“

Boiled bones are a local speciality

”

bottom of its ravine (one of the world’s only locations where you can have a snowball fight in a desert), and a 90-minute drive away is the Khongoryn Els sand dunes, which offer the best sandboarding opportunities this side of the Sahara.

Just when I think the trip couldn’t possibly become more surreal, our next stop takes us to the Flaming Cliffs, characterised by a collection of scarlet-red sandstone buttes and rock formations. Like Monument Valley in Arizona, it’s a popular place to go horse riding and act out childhood cowboy fantasies. In keeping with Mongolia’s ability to shock and surprise, more dinosaur bones and fossils have been found here than anywhere else in the world.

Mongolia’s got talent The following day, we reach Karakorum, the original focal point of the Mongol empire and the country’s previous capital. At the behest of a local hotel owner we are invited to a throat-singing concert. A traditional custom, throatsinging sounds like two cats drunk on airag fighting and vomiting all over each other. ›› On our final night out on the steppe, as we prepare

The Insider's guide Titiana Klimova is a fixer/ in-country manager in Mongolia with On the Go Tours.

What is Mongolia’s best-kept secret?

Mongolia is a remarkable country of spectacular light and traditional culture – it really is an invigorating place to visit. For me, the most amazing aspect is Mongolian music. When I listen to it, I can see and feel the country’s nomadic way of life – its unique culture and customs spring to life. Modern Mongolians are still really proud of their rich cultural traditions, and so they should be.

Where do you go to relax?

One of the best places to relax in Ulaanbaatar is The Gobi Sauna Complex, which has a variety of wellness and entertainment areas. It’s a bit different from what lies outside the capital, but its gemstone sauna, oxygen bar, relaxation massage room, hairdresser and beauty salon is the perfect fix after a week out camping in the desert. Every weekend I take a good book and simply enjoy the nature here.

Where’s the best place for a crazy adventure?

Located some 400km from Dalanzadgad, Khermen Tsav is one of the most interesting, yet difficult, places to get to in Mongolia. The Mongols call it the end of the world and the landscape reminds me of Mars. It has spectacular canyons but some sections of the road are notoriously treacherous – it’s really hard to find without local guides.

Where do you go to party in Ulaanbaatar?

Ulaanbaatar has dozens of nice restaurants, cafes and pubs. There are also plenty of places with live music, so I tend to go where there’s jazz or rock ’n’ roll bands playing. If you want to catch up on football, there’s a big following in the city, so there are plenty of bars with big screens showing sport channels.

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BEST OF THE REST ESSENTIAL STOPS ON THE TRANSMONGOLIAN

Photos: Getty; Mike MacEacheran; TNT; Thinkstock

to celebrate the near-completion of our odyssey, we are once again confronted by Mongolia’s fermented camel-milk vodka. This time, the sickly, stomach-churning liquid has been poured into an open-topped larch barrel that sits imposingly at the entrance to our host’s custom-built ger (a Mongol tent that looks like an IKEA lampshade).

In the previous three months, or so we are told, the concoction has been stirred on a daily basis with a buluur (a wooden masher), allowing the milk’s lactic acid bacteria and yeast to combine.

The science of this does nothing to make anyone feel any better. Sour camel’s milk is one thing, but what makes this even worse is that the lonely farmer and his wife are never going to be happy with just the one bitter-sweet round; Mongols are far too crazy for that. What follows the second glass and the third, I can’t really recall – but it does involve raucous renditions of the Mongolian national anthem, and a very drunk Scotsman sitting atop a very unhappy horse. ❚

Eclectic: ‘typical’ sights at Hustai National Park

LAKE BAIKAL, RUSSIA Famous for its proximity to Lake Baikal, the world’s largest freshwater lake, the city of Irkutsk is home to Siberian markets and pulsating nightclubs. But the real star is the lake itself, so take a boat across to Olkhon Island, where you can arrange hiking and biking trips across the land. Or do as the Siberians do and simply relax at an authentic banya (Russian-style sauna).

NEXT WEEK Pyrenees: Rafting, canyoning and sweating up a storm Down in one

BEIJING, CHINA One of the world’s greatest cities, Beijing has everything for the modern traveller. Think hip hostels, lively bars, great restaurants and more quintessential Chinese experiences than parodied by Kung Fu Panda. There’s everything from forbidden palaces, mystical lakes and antiquated hutong neighbourhoods to summer temples, street-food markets and kung fu shows. Oh, and there’s some kind of really impressive wall as well.

YEKATERINBURG, RUSSIA Although it may only be the fifth largest city in Russia, Yekaterinburg is undoubtedly the most important in recent history. Against the backdrop of the capital of the Urals, Tsar Nicholas II and his family were assassinated

by Bolshevik militia, an episode that changed the course of Russia forever. It was macabre, violent, and brought to an end nearly 300 years of rule from the Romanov dynasty.

It was all the momentum the civil war (known as the Red October revolution) needed to ignite. To experience the best of this, take a short trip out of the city to visit Ganina Yama, the location of the once secret Romanov family grave.

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we

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

E UROP E H G OU L THR E V A R ACH T O C E IBL FLEX

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* Valid on 2012 bookings. Book by 13 May. Enter promocode ‘getaway’

‘EVERY OTHER DAY’ SERVICE * TO AND FROM EVERY DESTINATION

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ON OUR NETWORK DOOR-TO-DOOR PICK-UPS AND * DROP-OFFS AT THE BEST HOSTELS GUIDES ON THE * AWESOME COACH, FULL OF LOCAL KNOWLEDGE, TIPS AND ADVICE

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HOW IT WORKS The options are endless, so choose your own style > Start and finish anywhere > Party with your bus-mates or do your

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BOOK NOW and start planning your dream trip. Pay £100 deposit now and the rest 45 days before departure

Trip Mates – connect with your fellow * passengers before your travels. Get chatting, days, weeks or months prior to your trip. Ideal for solo travellers!

Busabout TV – follow our vlogger Kimmi around Europe and get a feel for your own trip

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MEET THE EXPERTS Want to know which pass suits your travel plans? What it’s like to sail the Croatian islands? Or are you still unsure whether you should bring a hair dryer? All these and any questions you have will be answered by the experts on the night.

08450 267 514 TNT_1496_travel.indd 94

www.busabout.com

info@busabout.com 26/4/12 13:22:19

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

TRAVEL

Adventures 10% * OFF

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7 DAYS (Jun-Sep) FROM £469

8 DAYS (Jun-Aug) FROM £499

3 DAYS (May-Sep) FROM £189

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6 nights accommodation, orientation walks in each town, guided tour with a local through the remarkable city of Seville INCLUSIONS:

7 nights accommodation and breakfasts, 2 Baltic Sea cruise nights, all orientation walks, Riga club entrance

2 nights accommodation, entry to Pompeii and tour with local guide, orientation tour of Sorrento, boat trip to and around Capri, Limoncello and chocolate tasting INCLUSIONS:

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SEE MORE AY WITH A 2 D

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details at bottom of page

* Valid on selected 2012 departures. Book by 13 May. Enter promocode ‘getaway’

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9 nights accommodation, all breakfasts, 2 lunches & 4 local dinners, £100 of entrance fees - Egyptian Museum, Valley of the Kings and Hatshepsut Temple, Pyramids of Giza, Sphinx, Luxor and Karnak Temples, Kom Ombo and Aswan High Dam

Croatia One-Way Sail

FETHIYE, KEKOVA’S SUNKEN CITY, OULODENIZ, BLUE LAGOON, KAS & KALKAN

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7 DAYS (Apr-Dec) FROM £379

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DEPARTS SPLIT OR DUBROVNIK 8 DAYS (May-Sep) FROM £540 STUDENTS NOW FROM £442

7 nights accommodation, breakfasts and lunches, fuel supplement, island orientation walks, orientations of Split and Dubrovnik, English speaking Busabout Guide and expert local crew.

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There are two ways to go: 1.Retox then Detox (Ibiza - Mallorca - Menorca) 2.Detox then Retox (Menorca - Mallorca - Ibiza) 7 nights accommodation and breakfasts, all ferry tickets and transfers, guided orientations of local attractions on each island, organised nights out in every island, discount Ibiza club tickets INCLUSIONS:

7 DAYS (Apr-Sep)

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Valid on selected 2012 departures. Book by 13 May . * Enter promocde ‘egypt’ † Enter promocode ‘sail’

New for 2012 Greek

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08450 267 514 TNT_1496_travel.indd 95

www.busabout.com

Plus More of Europe’s Top Festivals TOMATINA, PAMPLONA, OKTOBERFEST TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

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Also Available

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* Valid on 2012 bookings.

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WAS £125 NOW £109 (Students Now £103)

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* May & June departures. Book by 13 May. Enter promocode ‘spring’

FREE STUFF WORTH UP TO

€66

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GIANT’S ROCKER 5 DAYS (Wed)

PREFERRED CHOICE OF STA TRAVEL & FLIGHT CENTRE GLOBALLY

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Book any Scotland trip below and we’ll pay for your return travel from London to Edinburgh. * Book by 13 May. Use promocode ‘freebus’

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ORKNEY RAIDER

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THE GREAT GLEN ADVENTURE 4 DAYS £395 (JUL - SEP) Fort William, Great Glen, Loch Ness & Inverness

WEST HIGHLAND WAY ADVENTURE 6 DAYS £559 (JUL - SEP) Glasgow, Loch Lomond, Glencoe & Fort William

3 PEAKS CHALLENGE 6 DAYS £459 (DEPARTS EDINBURGH 18 JUN) Climb the highest mountains of Scotland, England and Wales with loads of time to explore the truly wild parts of the British Isles

CORNWALL CRUSADER

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5 DAYS (MON)

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£199 (STUDENTS £189)

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M O R F

BEST OF EUROPE 13 COUNTRIES:

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F

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ULTIMATE EUROPE 26 DAYS 16 COUNTRIES:

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* Excludes compulsory food of £169

M O R F

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* Excludes compulsory food of £48

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5 CE==5B 451<C budget tours for 18-38's M FRO

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ALL NG DEPARTIN LONDO !

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www.topdeck.travel/festivals

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TRAVEL

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5 Jul 2012 - 9 Jul 2012

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ROYAL ASCOT RACES

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4 DAYfrom £259pp

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AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY TRIPS

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Picador

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3 DAYS Brugge

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24 -27 June 2012

TRIPS FROM

TRIPS FROM

August Bank Holiday U K Gold Backpacen k

WI N N E R Favourit Festivalse Operato r As voted by you!

trips for 18 to 30 somethings

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August Bank Holiday

£249

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*Terms & Conditions apply. Flights not included. Subject to availability.

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TRAVEL

EuroCamping

ON SALE

21 DAY

Explorer

Eastern Pathways

Discover France

Dep. 16 June 2012 Includes Sailing in Greece, Plitvice Lakes, Vienna, Prague, plus more!

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WAS FROM

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European Odyssey Dep. 16 June 2012 Includes Paris, Rome, Venice, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, plus more!

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CALL US 0845 257 5210 *Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. Croatia Sailing price includes local payment based on €1 = £0.83, which must be paid locally in Euros. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

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TRAVEL

PAMPLONA THE INCREDIBLE RUNNING OF THE BULLS! ■ 4 Days Pamps/San Seb Camping 4-15 JUL ■ Italy-Barcelona-Pamps 26 JUN-8 JUL ■ Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL ■ Pamplona + Ibiza Combo 5-11 JUL ■ San Sebastian + Pamps 3-8 or 5-10 JUL ■ Coach Tours Depart London 3 or 4 JUL fr£289 ■ 4 Days San Sebastian Hostel 5-8 JUL £269 ■ 4 Days Pamplona Hotel 5-8 JUL £349

£159 £749 £349 £399 £239

WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Korcula ✔ Vela Luca ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac ■ CAT A: JUN £469 JUL fr£469 AUG fr£449 ■ CAT A+: JUN £399 JUL fr£469 AUG fr£479 SEP £479

FOOTBALL SOCCEROOS & ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE ■ Fulham FC v Sunderland SUN 6 MAY ■ Socceroos v Denmark: Copenhagen SAT 2 JUN

CATEGORY A & A+ BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! ■ 7 NIGHTS JUN-SEP fr£399

✔ CROATIA + PAMPLONA TOUR

£38 £35

GREEK

ISLANDS

ROYAL ASCOT DON’T MISS BLACK CAVIAR’S EUROPEAN DEBUT! ■ Diamond Jubilee Day SAT 23 JUN £59 ✔ Coach Day Trip ✔ Silver Ring Ticket

ITALY TOURS CHECK OUT THE BEST ITALY HAS TO OFFER! ■ 7 Days JUN-AUG £299 ✔ Weekly departures ✔ Express train travel ✔ Rome ✔ Florence ✔ Cinque Terre ✔ Pisa ✔ Venice ✔ Milan

PALIO SIENA ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL ■ Hostel Package 14-17 AUG £149 ■ Extended packages also available fr£529

LA TOMATINA THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT! 27-30 AUG £149 ■ 4 Days Beach Camping ■ 4 Days Hostel/3 Days Hotel 27/28-30 AUG £189/£169 ■ Ibiza, Barcelona & Italy Combo tours also available!

23 JUN-8 JUL £848

GREEK ISLANDS

GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 Days £399 ■ 11 Days £489 Tours start in Athens every Sat JUL-AUG ✔ Mykonos ✔ Ios ✔ Santorini ✔ Paros ✔ Athens ✔ High speed ferries ✔ Breakfasts ✔ Fanatics Tour Rep ✔ Parties

OKTOBERFEST BEERFEST IN MUNICH! 21 SEP-8 OCT Choice of Munich’s best hostels & hotel and #1 party campsite!

■ Prague + Buda Fest 8 Days fr£329 ✔ Prague ✔ Budapest ✔ Salzburg / Vienna ✔ All the Oktoberfest action! ✔ Luxury coach transfers throughout

■ 6 Days Coach Tours

Thu-Tue

■ 4 Days Camping

Fri-Mon

■ 4 Days Hostel

Fri-Mon

■ 4 Days Hotel

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fr£219

✔ Return coach from London ✔ Camping or hostel

fr£129

✔ Twin or single tents ✔ Quick coach shuttles to Oktoberfest

fr£189

✔ Choice of Munich’s top hostels in perfect locations!

£349

✔ Munich’s #1 Oktoberfest hotel!

Mid week camping & hostel options also available fr£99!

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM 103

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TRAVEL Bavarian Mountain Tours

SALZBURG

AUSTRIA

TOUR WITH US AND… Hallstatt Tours

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* Heath from Wellington: I met you at Elk Bar last Thursday, while we were both out having a smoke. We spoke about the colour of the inside of our eyelids. Mine are flecked with green, remember?

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To the Aussies and Kiwis who turned up to the ANZAC Day dawn service at Hyde Park: It’s my first year in London and I was completely surprised by the effort that so many of my fellow Antipodeans had made to attend the service on a soggy wet morning at 5am – on a working day! This is a big up to you all. Joe.

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