1558 by TNT Magazine

July 8-14 2013 Issue 1558 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

A TRIP TO LA TOMATINA AND TICKETS TO BESTIVAL!

Join us on an epic road trip from Namibia to Sudan ‘TRUE’ STORY OF WIKILEAKS The film Julian Assange doesn’t want you to see

TAKE A TOUR WITH A PIG

LONDON’S BEST LOCAL FESTS Moustache wrestling and Mexican picnics

An unusual guide shows TNT around Belgian beer ISSUE 1558 / £1.95

+ ASH GRUNWALD AT KOKO WORLD’S TOP WATER PARKS COLOR RUN LONDON CAMPING IN THE LAKE DISTRICT

9 772051 605008

Become a myTNT VIP for access to fantastic freebies, huge discounts and heaps of benefits. For just £50, joining our new members club will give you the chance to do more in London and beyond for less. For full details see tntmagazine.com/myTNT-VIP

FREE entry to TNT social events in the next year – worth £75 FREE VIP experience at TNT’s amazing Travel Shows – worth £30 FREE home delivery of TNT for first 200 VIPs – worth £50 FREE tickets to see The Beach with STA for 30 VIPs – worth £50 ACCESS to exclusive travel deals and massive London discounts Save £60

Save

£15.95

FREE MY LIVING Save LONDON £29.99

All myTNT VIPs will bag an annual membership to this fantastic discount card – My Living London. Worth £60, it will give you access to discounts of up to 65% on theatre tickets as well as at top London bars and clubs and beauty salons.

FREE ALBELLI PHOTO BOOK Create a professional, quality photo book and remember your travels for years to come with a voucher for a free, 24-page medium landscape album – which all myTNT VIP members will receive when they sign up.

Save £24

FREE CASE OF BONDI BEER Make sure your summer BBQ kicks off in style with a case of Bondi Beer. The first 50 VIPs will receive a case of 24 cans of premium lager. And what’s more, it’ll be delivered to your door free of charge. You’re very welcome.

Save £140

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FREE ANNUAL CUISINE CARD Take advantage of huge deals on London’s top restaurants with this discount card which boasts the likes of the Rainforest Cafe, Shaka Zulu and Tiger Tiger. The first 100 VIPs will bag an annual membership with Cuisine Card.

FREE 8TH DAY ADVENTURE This sport, adventure and social club which hosts hundreds of events every year is offering the first 30 myTNT VIPs free annual membership worth £140. After that, VIPs will benefit from 2-4-1 savings on all membership prices.

ITALY ON A BUDGET TOURS For the month of July only, all myTNT VIPs will have access to this exclusive deal. Italy On A Budget Tours is offering a 30 per cent discount on its fantastic four-day Amalfi Coast tour to let you experience Italy “like a local” for less.

MORE AT my.TNTMAGAZINE.COM/MYTNT-VIP TNT_1558_02 2

04/07/2013 15:41:08

LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER TNT loves nothing more than an adventure, which is why this week’s travel section is all about going ‘freestyle’. From driving the length of Africa’s east coast (battling hyenas and risking bandit attacks, P72), to letting a pig choose your path in Belgium (I’m serious, see P68) and heading into the Lake District’s hills with no tent or plan (P58), there’s a world of possibilities out there. Then check out P26 for how to explore those possibilities for less.

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

WIN BONDI BEER

DRINK & EATS

12&15

@TNT

SPOTTED

LONDON SOUND

CHATROOM MATTHEW P

MYTNT VIP MEMBERSHIP

LONDON SCENE

LONDON FOCUS

TNT ONLINE

LIFESTYLE

36-41

FEATURES

HEALTH

MONEY

STAY HOME CHAPS

LIVING

NEWS

42-47

Olympics for chaps and crack-up comedy – London’s a haven for small local festivals

SPORT

48-52

COMPETITIONS

54 & 67

TRAVEL

Photos: Steve Puppe Photography; Getty

55-77

WIKILEAKS’ SECRETS

Oscar-winning ﬁlmmaker Alex Gibney tells why Julian Assange wants him to shut up

GET YOUR KID ON

DIARY

NEWS

With the Color Run and other ways to be like a child, see why regressing is good

UK TRIP

BOTHY BY THE LAKE

LATE DEALS

HOTSHOTS

Find free digs in some of England’s most extraordinary settings with a bothy break

TOP FIVE

BELGIAN BEER PIGS

TIPS

SHORT BREAK

Get munted on extra boozy beer and a pigled walking tour in Flanders, north Belgium

BIG TRIP

CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

96-97

AFRICAN ROAD TRIP

Facing hyenas and braving bandit country, driving epic East Africa is one wild ride

98 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Editorial Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Contributors Caroline Garnar; Amy Donegan

LONDONDIARY

@tntmagazine

Multimedia addict: host Quint Fontana will nurse you and a drink through the night

Design and production Head of design and production Jon Cooke Design / picture editor Patricia Montenegro

Sales Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Sales administrator Abby Nightingale marketing & events Jaqui Ward ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh tnt MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Publisher TNT Multimedia Limited Distribution Emblem Direct Ltd Printed by Wyndeham Peterborough Limited News AAP Pictures Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 111 Cannon Street, London EC4N 5AR tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 3011 1066 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com sales enquiries

Phone 020 7989 0567 Email sales@tntmagazine.com Where to get TNT

cover price: £1.95 where sold See tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online Subscriptions and Distribution Caroline Penn 01603 559004

Shhh... SECRET LONDON the spectacular spectrum of now east london

This wacky one-of-a-kind night takes stand-up and old fashioned variety and fuses them with a zeitgeist-y multimedia spin to create a wondrous blitz of sights, gags and performances. On the bill for this evening are sketch troupe The Real MacGuffins, character comedian Gabby Best, who won the Funny Women Award last year, and Fortuna Burke, performing an extract from her new comedy musical, Laundrette Superstar. All the madness will be marshalled by self-confessed washed-up boozy singer Quint Fontana (above). £6

July 14, 7pm Netil House, 1 Westgate Street, E8 3RL

London Fields

netilhouse.com

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

tcr bbq: the vinyl frontier After 11 years of BBQs and tunes, this north London institution at the Lockside Lounge is calling time with one final vinyl-only blowout. Dub Pistols’ Barry Ashworth and TCR BBQ regular Rennie Pilgrem, and plenty more, will be spinning the rave, disco, jungle and hip-hop tunes to keep you dancing all day and night. FREE

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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July 13, 2pm-3am NW1 8AF Camden Town locksidelounge.com

skin tight

brixton windmill tours

This New Zealandset play is by turns romantic, erotic and heartbreakingly honest as a couple confess to one another their innermost thoughts, feelings and passions. It won plaudits aplenty when it played over here last year so make sure you catch it this time round. Powerful stuff.

This too-little-known windmill in Brixton opens its doors to the public over the summer and autumn so you can take a look behind the scenes and learn about the family who milled there. Their Our Big Gig is held just outside on July 14, too, with local folk group The No Frills Band as the headliners.

July 16-Aug 11, 7.45pm (matinees Sat & Sun 3.15pm) Park Theatre, N4 3JP Finsbury Park parktheatre.co.uk

July 13-Oct 13, 2pm West End of Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5EU Brixton brixtonwindmill.org

£15

FREE

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Party time: TNT’s celebrating its 30th birthday with a bash at Koko, Camden

SUMMER IS HERE TO STAY Split, Croatia 31 ºC Athens, Greece 32 ºC

tnt 30th birthday party Camden

Your favourite mag is 30 years old this year. Yes, that’s right, ol’ TNT was born in the Big Smoke back in 1983 amidst shoulder pads, Thatcher and New Order’s Blue Monday. To celebrate this momentous occasion we’re throwing a birthday bash to trump them all. Ash Grunwald is headlining, alongside Matty P, Polly Money and Melic, with a bumper load of travel giveaways on the night, including a five-day trip for two to Oktoberfest. You gotta be in it – er, there – to win it!

COME SAILING WITH US FROM JUST £375pp!

£15

July 28, 5pm-11pm Koko, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent

mimetics festival

great contiki challenge

This festival of emerging mime, puppetry and cabaret acts showcases more than 20 shows from 13 countries. Ones to watch out for include Damsel Sophie’s The Damsel In Shining Armour and the truly mad-sounding Pinocchio, which re-tells the classic nose-swelling fable in a Fifties sci-fi-horror B-movie setting. We’re intrigued.

This ace tourrace-competition takes your around some of London’s most stunning – and secret – sights. You’ll collect points as you go, and be in with a shout of winning some cracking prizes, too. All you need is a team of two to eight people, a camera and a good sense of humour. Game on!

£8

Photos: James Allan

tntmagazine.com/30thbday

July 12-27, times vary Millfield Angel Arts Centre, N18 1PJ Road fingerinthepie.com

FREE

July 13, 11.30am Russell Square Gardens, WC1B 4JA Russell Square contiki.com/contikichallenge13

7 days, 7 different locations. Solo and group bookings Your own Skipper included BYO alcohol at no charge Daily breakfast and lunch Snorkel, paddle board and swim from your own yacht! Learn to sail or work on your tan. It’s up to you.

It’s getting hairy: the moustache tug-of-war at The Chap Olympiad

In your backyard London’s awash with local summer festivals, from literary loveins to gin-drenched chap-offs and comedy events Words alasdair morton Summer is festival time, and we don’t just mean the bank-breaking, big field and music in the country variety. London is teeming with smallscale local festivals offering al fresco entertainment for an affordable fee. Take this weekend’s The Chap Olympiad. It celebrates the true English gent in all his corduroy-wearing, moustached glory. It’s tongue-in-cheek, of course, with chaps and chappesses dressing up in their Remains Of The Day-style finest. Pipe smoking is obligatory and gin-quaffing essential as ‘chap’ skills are put to the test in events such as umbrella jousting, butler baiting and moustache wrestling. Competitive they are not, though. In fact, sporting skills or aptitude of any kind are detrimental to any hopes one has of winning. “There are no competitive sports at the Olympiad,” head chappess Bethan Garland tells us. “In fact, points are deducted for sporting prowess of any kind. We do, however, have some leisurely new pastimes this year, such as tea pursuit and beach volley bowler.” Chaps must possess, Garland tells us, “sharp trouser creases, well groomed 6

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facial hair and an air of rakish charm”. Antipodeans are not excluded from showing off their chappish charisma, either. “We are true admirers of our Antipodean cousins, for we are all true to one Queen,” Garland explains. “As long as no flip flops are seen! In fact, we had an Antipodean winner of the gold cravat last year,” she hastens to add. If the no jeans policy is not your thing – or your facial hair is too poorly groomed – fear not, there are loads more local fests over the course of the summer months. The Ealing Comedy Festival, turning 20 years old this year and forming part of the borough’s wider arts and culture summer season, is five days of stand-up tomfoolery and has an assortment of stars featuring on stage. Kiwi act The Boy With Tape On His Face will be showing off his silent skills, alongside Paul Chowdhry, Lee Mack, Omid Djalili, Piff the Magic Dragon and Paul Sinha, who TNT caught up with. Sinha, who has six Edinburgh Fringe shows under his belt, turned his back on a prestigious medical career to go the stand-up route (or play the clown, if you listen to his parents).

“The show will have the usual mix of incisive social comment and emotionally involving anecdotes,” he says. “And crude nob gags!” Sinha’s stand-up is observational and personal, drawing on his transition from the white coat brigade to stand-up, a career change his parents have forgiven him for since he bought them Sky+ (“bribery will get you everywhere”). He has a forthcoming Radio 4 series, too, Paul Sinha’s Citizenship Test, all about what it means to be British. “It looks at what the government thinks you need to know to call yourself British, what we actually know, and what we should know,” he tells us, demonstrating his trademark mix of the serious and silly. “It covers everything from the Magna Carta to JLS.” From iron board surfing to clowning doctors, London has it all this summer... MORE LOCAL FESTIVALS ›› Chap Olympiad, July 13. £20 Bedford Square, WC1B 3RA Goodge Street thechapolympiad.com Ealing Comedy Fest, July 12-13; 17-19. £18.50 Walpole Park, W5 5EQ Ealing Broadway ealingsummerfestivals.com

Chow-wowa: Piff the Magic Dragonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s peckish

Nice nurse: injured chaps are well tended to

Brit test: stand-up Paul Sinha passes tea-cup holding

camden lock live camden This urban boutique festival takes place at buzzing Camden Market with live music (folky singersongwriter Marcus Forster headlines), DJs, talent from Roundhouse Presents (including spoken word artists and hula hoopers), global street food, and a Sailor Jerry cocktail bar on a boat on the canal. Not to mention all the ace market stalls this north London district is famed for.

wimbledon bookfest wimbledon

FREE

July 12, 10am-10pm Camden Lock, 54-56 Camden Lock Place, NW1 8AF Camden Town camdenlockmarket.com

abbey fest merton This 52-day-long local arts and culture fest – which will be celebrating its 16th year – has something for everyone. There are a total of 10 theatre shows, 10 free open air concerts, eight Edinburgh Fringe previews (including brilliant Aussie Benny Boot), as well as a blues mini-fest, classical performances and loads of food stalls to sustain you through all the cultural quaffing. Some events are ticketed. £10+

Until Aug 31, times vary Merton Abbey Mills, SW19 2RD

Despite the strawberries and cream-suggesting name, this is a music fest in the stately surrounds of the former Victorian ‘pleasure ground’ (posh for park) in Crystal Palace. Up-and-comers the Van Susans sit on the bill alongside legends such as Ian Dury’s The Blockheads, tribute acts Floyd and Secret Police, and a Last Night of the Proms-themed Saturday night with fireworks, a rock ’n’ roll choir and Shakespeare recitals. £12+

Aug 16-18, times vary Crystal Palace SE19 2BS crystalpalacegardenparty.com

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Colliers Wood

new voices fest bethnal green

This is London’s largest celebration of the French national day (right) and brings together all things red, white and blue – so expect cheese and wine, live performances, a slowest snail race (the winner might get eaten afterwards), and maybe the odd necklace of onions.

Live music, arts and food at this diverse new musical talentsupporting free event.

July 14, times vary Borough Market, SE1 1TL Borough bastillefestival.co.uk

Sep 28-Oct 13, times vary Wimbledon, SW19 Wimbledon wimbledonbookfest.org

abbeyfest.co.uk

bastille festival central london FREE

crystal palace garden party crystal palace

Just because autumn is around the corner it doesn’t mean the outdoor cultural fun will stop. This literary fest on the famous Wimbledon Common has readings, performances, talks and workshops, as well as all manner of big name stars – An Evening with Michael Palin and the headline event with Irish author Roddy Doyle (The Commitments) are two of the eye-catching must-sees for this year’s event. And there’s a beer tent! £9+

FREE

July 13, 12pm-7pm V&A Museum of Childhood Gardens, E2 9PA Bethnal Green newvoicesfestival.org.uk

st martin’s courtyard food and flowers fest covent garden

yoruba arts festival Hackney

The south London area famously lampooned by comedy legend Peter Sellers hosts this nine-day fest, with Milton Jones, Dave Fulton, Lee Mack and loads more.

Or more accurately, food, flowers and booze fest, as Covent Garden restaurants such as Jamie’s Italian and Dishoom serve up floral cocktails ‘n’ munch. Mexican restaurant Cantina Laredo is giving away 2000 free hibiscus margaritas, and there’s floral face painting, live music and more. A grand little day out.

This not-for-profit charity-based festival – which celebrates its fourth year this summer – seeks to support African cultural identity in London and bring the best of it to the wider community, with a free outdoor music, food, art and dance treat. Get down, get involved.

July 5-13, times vary The Bedford, SW12 9HD Balham thebedford.co.uk

July 13, 12pm-5pm WC2E 9AB Covent Garden stmartinscourtyard.co.uk

July 27 & 28, 11am-8pm N16 9EJ Finsbury Park yorubaarts.org

balham comedy festival balham £16

FREE

notting hill carnival notting hill

waterloo quarter food festival waterloo

This is what you need to know about the famous west London bank holiday weekend mega-party (below): the carnival parade is actually really cool and should not be missed; the food is great; Sunday is the family day, so great for chilling out; Monday is the loud and brash party day to check out the sound systems; and it is nothing like that lame-ass fucking Hugh Grant movie.

This annual celebration of “tastes, techniques and glorious food” will sate even the most fussy grub hound. There’ll be culinary offerings from both first-time local providers and the big boys, such as Cubana and The Stage Door, from around the world, ranging from fancy food to street-style munch-on-the-go fare. There will also be cooking demos so you can top up on your skills and wine to wash it all down with. FREE

FREE

Aug 25 & 26, 9am-7pm W11 3HT Notting Hill Gate thenottinghillcarnival.com

battersea park festival battersea Streatham pub White Lion and Music4Children charity head, Aussie Oz Bayldon, bring this all-day rock fest to Battersea’s sprawling and glamorous south London park. Dallas Frasca (above), who’s just played to 200,000 screaming fans on the music main stage at the Le Mans 24hr motor race in France, will bring the riffs, along with John E Vistic, Tankus The Henge, Ilona, and more. FREE

July 28, 12pm-6pm Battersea Park, SW11 4NJ

Queenstown Road

london mela North London Last year’s Indian festival of Mela – a feast of “sights, smells, sounds and tastes,” say the organisers – saw 82,000 Londoners celebrating South Asian culture. This year there’s six music stages, including the Eid, BBC Introducing, and the Community stages. There’s the traditional Mela carnival, and also a classical concert among all the young sounds. And if that didn’t sway you, there’s top Indian eats, too.

Photos: Getty; Rik Franks

FREE

Sep 1, 1pm-9pm Gunnersbury Park, W3 Gunnersby londonmela.org

whitelion.org.uk

london mexfest east london

london folk fest balham

Mexican film, music, architecture, art and food are all coming to town. Cannes fave The Girl (Abbie Cornish) kicks off the film programme before a series of free outdoor screenings, live music from band Grupo Mono Blanco and a DJ set by Gil Cerezo (12), a Mexican picnic and loads more. Grab the guacamole! Some events are ticketed.

Nu-folk, old-folk (not your gran) and everything in between takes centre stage at this four-day celebration of the acousticbased genre that Dylan once angered so much. Highlights include Ryan Keen (Thurs) London oiks Skinny Lister (Fri) and Essex songstress Leddra Chapman (right, Sat).

FREE

Until July 31, times TBC SE1 8SW London Waterloo wearewaterloo.co.uk

£12+

streatham festival lambeth

Gappy Ranks and General Levy topline the live music, with a carnival parade, dancehall queen comp and more at this event celebrating the Caribbean’s cultural history.

The Carpenter’s Story, The Zombies, Midge Ure and more at this proper posh Surrey music series. Bring the brie, the bubbly and the banter!

The Glamour Days is the theme for this south London culture and events bonanza, which celebrates the borough of Lambeth’s heritage through film, theatre, music, dance and live art installations. Key events not to miss are the tango-inspired Wired Aerial Theatre performance titled Rosa’s Bar, the Lane and Vale Carnival parade, and the South London Blitz Party. It’s all fuelled by a genuine community spirit and pride. Some events are ticketed.

July 14, 3pm-12am Proud Camden, NW1 8AH Chalk Farm sunbailante.com

July 12-27, from 7pm Hampton Court TW12 2ST hamptonpool.co.uk

July 11-14, times vary Streatham Various streathamfestival.com

July 11-14, times vary Various mexfest.mx

hot caribbean fest chalk farm £10

July 18, 7.30pm-11pm; July 19 & 20, 7.30pm-2am; July 21, 12pm-11pm The Bedford, SW12 9HD Balham thebedford.co.uk

hampton pool picnic concerts surrey £24.50

FREE

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Become a myTNT V for access to fantastic fre huge discounts and heaps o For just £50, joining our new club will give you the chan more in London and beyond For full details see tntmagazine.com/myTN FREE 8th Day Adventure membership for 30 VIPs – worth £140 FREE My Living London discount card for all VIPs – worth £60 FREE Cuisine Card membership for first 100 VIPs – worth £29.99 FREE case of Bondi Beer for first 50 VIPS – worth £24 FREE 24-page Albelli photo album for all VIPs – worth £15.95 Save 10%

EXPAT EXPLORE Save EGYPT TOURS £29.99 All myTNT VIP members will benefit from an exclusive 10% discount when booking an Egypt tour with Expat Explore. Sign up, and you’ll get an exclusive code to bag this incredible saving when booking tours.

Save

FREE ALBELLI PHOTO BOOK

£15.95

Save £140

Create a professional, quality photo book and remember your travels for years to come with a voucher for a free, 24page medium landscape album – which all myTNT VIP members will receive when they sign up.

Save 5%

5% OFF WITH TRAVEL TALK Whether you’re looking to explore Egypt, Morocco, Turkey and Jordan or Russia, or want to sail around Greece or Croatia, VIP myTNTers can get an extra 5 per cent off advertised prices with an exclusive discount code.

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S £

NT VIP ic freebies, aps of benefits. new members chance to do eyond for less. s see myTNT-VIP

BUSABOUT HOP- Save ON HOP-OFF Book a hop-on hop-off tour with Busabout, and you’ll be able to tailor your trip around Europe to take in all the must-see sights at your own pace. What’s more, all myTNT VIPs will benefit from an extra 20% off when booking. Sorted!

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SEE THE BEACH Save FREE WITH STA myTNT is teaming up with STA Travel to offer a pair of tickets to an outdoor screening of The Beach to the first 30 VIPs. Chill out with a few beers in a beach setting and watch this classic on July 25, 2013, in Bishops Park, Fulham.

£75

Save 50%

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FREE MY LIVING LONDON All myTNT VIPs will bag an annual membership to this fantastic discount card – My Living London. Worth £60, it will give you access to discounts of up to 65% on theatre tickets as well as at top London bars and clubs and beauty salons.

TNT SOCIAL EVENTS TNT knows how to throw a good party. And now you’re invited – for free! Whether it’s a BBQ on Australia Day, or a fancy dress party at Halloween, we’ve got your social calendar sorted. All VIPs get entry to TNT events.

2-4-1 BURGERS AT THE ELK BAR We all know how expensive food can be in London, so we’ve got your backs covered. Chow down on a succulent burger at the Elk Bar in Fulham before 6pm each day, and all myTNT VIPs will be able to bag a top 2-4-1 deal. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

05/07/2013 14:59:30

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THE PRINCE ALBERT

Rustic chic: quality and charm

PUB

A little off the beaten path, away from the chaos of Camden High Street, The Prince Albert is a welcoming and well-preserved old fashioned pub – it’s been around since 1843 – with a friendly vibe and quality beer. Think rustic reclaimed church pews, mismatched furnishings and other recycled bric-a-brac, which seem to be de rigueur for most self-respecting drinking holes nowadays. If the sun’s out, hit the patio/ beer garden for a few rays. The upstairs is a dedicated restaurant space but they serve bar food and snacks all day downstairs. THE GRUB Quality nosh leaning towards the higher end of the pub grub market with posh dishes such as barberry duck breast, sweet potato puree and red cabbage. They’re all about free-range, sustainable and organic produce, and put an innovative twist on the ‘best of British’ vibe. THE SCENE

A good mix of guest ales for the ale slurpers as well as regular Young’s Special. Lager wise you can keep it local with London Meantime from the Greenwich-based brewery or sip Kirin Ichiban Japanese lager, Carlsberg or San Miguel. The decidedly decent Stowford Press cider is also on tap. BILL PLEASE Beers from £3.55 a pint; wine from £3.05 a glass; starters from £4; mains from £10.50. VERDICT A quality pub worth seeking out a short stroll from Camden dives. DT BEHIND THE BAR

163 Royal College Street, NW1 OSG

princealbertcamden.com

Camden Town

BREAST MILK

WEIRD ICE CREAM

theicecreamists.com

CHOCOLATE & BLACK PEPPER Upmarket Soho gelateria Gelupo serves up inventive flavours ranging from ricotta to fennel seed, but it’s the chocolate and black pepper that has proved one of the most popular scoops. gelupo.com

Do more Spend less

TOAST & BUTTER Another Soho joint to check out is Comboco, which has started serving breakfast flavours to entice Londoners into early-morning indulgence. We can highly recommend the toast with whipped butter variety. facebook.com/comboco

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Photos: Zed Jameson; Facebook

3 OF THE BEST

”Punk rock” agents of cool The Icecreamists in Covent Garden have caused quite a stir with their ‘Baby Goo Goo’ flavour, made with human breast milk. Served in a cocktail glass with a rusk (obviously), for a pricey £14.

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

www.anglopacific.co.uk SO BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT OF EUROPE CHECK OUT ANGLO PACIFIC

FREEPHONE 0800 151 3511 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

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05/07/2013 11:32:42

European Emperor 21 August 2013

WAS £1415 NOW

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13 DAY

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9 August 2013

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17 & 24 August 2013

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Visit 10 countries including France, Italy, Austria & the Czech Republic

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05/07/2013 11:32:46

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Room at the inn? One of London’s best boozers

BOOZY GELATO The best parts of summer have finally been brought together in a magical pairing to rival even Ron Burgundy and Baxter. Soho’s Floridita Rum Shack has teamed up with awardwinning gelateria Gelupo to launch an alcoholic gelato bar, serving bespoke rum-infused flavours including Cuban spiced chocolate rum (with cinnamon and chilli) and banana daiquiri sorbet. Yours for £3.50 per scoop. More weird ice cream on P12. floriditalondon.com/rum-shack

CARAVAN COOL ‘Caravan Sessions’ might sound like something you try to avoid doing with your parents each summer, but on Exmouth Market from July 22, the phrase is officially cool. Caravan restaurant, bar and roastery will be holding monthly Caravan Sessions, comprising a four-course dinner and bespoke cocktail list based around a theme. First up is ‘Smoked, Pickled and Raw’, to be followed by ‘Brews & Blues’ in August and ‘Last Of The Summer Wine’ in September. Only 50 places available per session, costing £35pp. caravanonexmouth.co.uk

BDK boys have opened a salon

BACKDOOR BARGAIN Another one to book in early is supperclub Backdoor Kitchen’s new Backdoor Salon adventure in Brixton on July 21 and 28, and August 4. For a bargain £27, they’ll serve up a fourcourse, Italian-Spanish fusion brunch with cocktails, and you can choose to follow it up with their Aperitivo Experience (three tapas dishes and a cocktail) for an extra £15. The grub is seriously special and we can’t think of anywhere that’s better value.

THE SPANIARDS INN POSH PUB GRUB THE SCENE One of London’s most characterful pubs, from the outside it’s easy to believe The Spaniards Inn was first built in 1585, its crumbling white-washed brickwork evoking the history within its walls (the pub sheltered the Spanish ambassador from the plague and has been immortalised in both Charles Dickens’s The Pickwick Papers and Bram Stoker’s Dracula). However, on the inside a recent refurbishment lends it all the modern hallmarks of a top-notch north London boozer – warm oak tones, soft lighting, a bulging list of specialty beers. While this might make it a snug spot to hole up in winter, The Spaniards really comes into its own in summer, where the sprawling beer garden (complete with cute bamboo huts) makes long, lager-laden afternoons impossible to resist. Just a short walk from Hampstead Heath, too, it’s the very model of what you want from idyllic English summertime drinking. The grub Seasonal pub grub is the menu’s MO, so it can change daily. My date and I begin with the meat board, piled with Trealy Farm cured meats, ham hock terrine, sausage roll, piccalilli and bread. All satisfyingly rustic stuff, but a shout out has to go to the sausage roll, which is the most skillfully palatable combo of pork and pastry that either of us has ever had the pleasure of tasting. For the main course, I go with sea bass, chickpeas, chorizo and cuttlefish, a dish thick with flavour – the rich heft of the chorizo and accompanying tomato sauce balanced beautifully by the lighter seafood. My dining partner goes simple with a 28-day dry aged rib eye steak and chips, which is decent but doesn’t quite melt in the mouth. Resultantly stuffed, I can only manage a bite of the homemade peanut butter ice cream, but it’s so luxuriously indulgent that I vow to come back and give it a fairer run.

There are 18 specialty beers, real ales and ciders on tap, from £4 per pint. Wine from £5.70/ £17 per glass/ bottle. Bill please Starters from £5; mains from £11.50; desserts from £6. verdict A pub unlike any other in London – rare. LAURA CHUBB

Behind the bar

backdoor-kitchen.com Spaniards Road, NW3 7JJ

thespaniardshampstead.co.uk

Hampstead

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RE: Living with the enemy: A five-step plan for living with the roommate from hell (tntmagazine.com): My preferred approach to shared housing is either: (1) Wage a jihad to engineer the downfall of the wrongdoer; or if that fails... (2) Storm out, sobbing all the way to the rent-free bank, to the loving embrace of mumsy and dadsy.

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NOT JUST BEATLES Re: The beat goes on – there’s more to Liverpool’s legendary music scene than The Beatles (TNT 1557): Was in Liverpool two weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised, especially with the shopping. I even took the ferry across the Mersey to New Brighton. They also have a bus direct to Cheshire Oaks, a massive designer retail outlet, with lots of eating options. There’s also trains to Manchester Piccadilly, which has two interesting indoor shopping centres. Aziza Al Busaidy, via Facebook EGYPT DRAMA EXPLAINED /46 THE ASHES /48

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05/07/2013 17:56:14

Bowled Over The sun’s come out so it’s time, once again, for a barbie, some tunes and a roll on the lawn

lawn bowls tournament Grab a bunch of mates and head down for an afternoon of barefoot bowls – 11am start for the warm-up session, comp starts 1pm

bodean’s BBQ

For the rib-licious experience, we smoke it low, cook it slow: 2-4pm

dj live entertainment Live music and DJ entertainment ‘til late

‘Old timers’ fancy dress – come as your nana! Tickets

£5

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05/07/2013 11:32:47

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Email us at marketing@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Spotted’ in the subject line. Email must include a photo of yourself! You’ve won a 13-week UK subscription to TNT Magazine!

open mic night Gigalum, Clapham Common. Tuesday, June 25, 2013 Photos by: Elixabete Lopez Segura/ TNT More pics and tag yourself at facebook.com/tntmag

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Dread-fully cool: bluesy Ash Grunwald’s got a punkabilly tinge from his Living End mates

festival

watch

way out west

tnt 30th birthday party with ash grunwald Koko, NW1 7JE

Slottsskogen, Gothenburg, Sweden. August 8-10. £180+

Sat, jul 28 | Doors at 5pm | £15

wayoutwest.se

This cosy little fest in Sweden mixes big name, global stars such as Neil Young (below) and Crazy Horse, Alicia Keys and Beach House, with low-key boutique fest intimacy – it’s a winning formula. The beautiful surrounds of Slottsskogen park in the centre of Sweden’s second-largest city, Gothenburg, make it green and picturesque, while Stay Out West keeps the party going with gigs and club nights across the city.

TNT is 30 years old and to celebrate this momentous milestone we’re throwing one hell of a party, with blues and roots troubadour Ash Grunwald headlining. Mr Grunwald started out in the early Noughties and broke into the mainstream with his sophomore album I Don’t Believe in 2004. He’s won a number of ARIAs, too. Of late, however, he’s been up to something different, teaming up with The Living End’s rhythm section of Andy Strachan and Scott Owen – who just happen to be bessie mates of Grunwald’s – and recording an album together, Gargantua. It has a barnstorming cover of Gnarls Barkley’s global smash Crazy and a punkified influence courtesy of the new bass and percussion section. Grunwald arrives over here invigorated by these new musical cues. Joining him for this birthday bash to end them all will be Matthew P (turn to P23 for our interview with the fast-rising acoustic star) and Polly Money, who wowed the crowds at Glastonbury the other week. London-based Kiwis Melic will be kicking off the show, and are set to give fans some sneak-peek snippets from their forthcoming debut album, An Hour To Anywhere. Also on the night will be a shedload of top travel prizes including a five-day Topdeck trip for two to Oktoberfest and Busabout flexi-trips – but you have to be there to be in with a shout of winning! Mornington Crescent

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wireless GIG July 12-14. 12pm £64.50

The biggest pop party of the summer comes to London, with superstars Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake (right) – who will be performing together on the Sunday – Snoop Dogg and Calvin Harris, and loads more of the world’s biggest pop acts taking to the newly unveiled Queen Elizabeth Park (formerly the Olympic Park).

Photos: Getty; Chris Carr; Nik Harrison

Queen Elizabeth Park Stratford, E20 2ST Stratford wirelessfestival.co.uk

headphone holiday

need2soul presents: peven everett

CLUB

sat, july 13. 2pm-7pm FREE

sat, july 13. 8pm-4am £15+

Eighties acid-house-birthed Ashley Beedle and DJ duo Yam Who?, with support from Nic Tasker, are next up at the Queen of Hoxton’s rooftop headphone daytime dance parties. So grab a drink, don some headgear and get out there groovin’ in the sun to the silent disco and house tunes.

Multi-instrumentalist and musical magician Peven Everett brings his live show to town this weekend. Support comes from house legend Lil Louis, Floating Points (making his Need2Soul debut), with warm up from DJ and broadcaster Moxie. A top night of house classics from upand-coming talent and legendary names.

Queen of Hoxton 1-5 Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX Liverpool Street queenofhoxton.com

Oval Space 29-32 The Oval, E2 9DT Cambridge Heath need2soul.com

yeah yeah yeahs

trance sanctuary summer party

emily barker and the red clay halo

GIG

CLUB

GIG

mon, july 15. 7pm £25

Sat, July 13. 3.30pm-11.30pm £7+

thu, july 11. 7pm FREE

Karen O’s sporting a brand spanking new bleached blonde barnet, they have a new album out in the shape of the exceedingly ace Mosquito, and they’re playing this ultra-special show at the (for them) tiny 800-capacity venue as a Latitude festival warm-up. If you’re not there, you’re not a YYYs fan. Simple as.

The sun’s out – well, we hope it is – so get out there and enjoy the daytime clubbing. Jordan Suckley (Goodgreef/Spinnin Records), Bjoorn Akes (FSOE) and Artento Divini (High Contrast Recordings) are tasked with getting the party started early. There’s also a BBQ and discounted drinks offers.

The lovely Mrs Barker and her Red Clay Halo band play this album launch show in support of her personal, poetical and utterly luscious latest LP, Dear River. She’s back on the road this October playing her biggest headline show to date at the Empire, so catch her in this intimate venue while you can.

Islington Academy 16 Parkfield St, N1 0PS Angel o2academyislington.co.uk

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

Rough Trade East Dray Walk, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL Aldgate East emily-barker.com

the bombay royale The buzz so far The 11-piece Melbourne band The Royale set out to bring back the golden days of Sixties and Seventies Bollywood sounds to clubgoers. They then started writing their own songs inspired by Indian cinema, as seen on last year’s funk and disco-fusing debut You Me Bullets Loved, and the whole project went stratospheric. They’re over here for the first time. The Critics say ““An off-kilter masterpiece” The Age the plug You Me Bullets Love is out now through Hope Street Recordings. Play Village Underground, July 17. £10 54 Holywell Lane, EC2A 3PQ Liverpool Street thebombayroyale.com

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D + TOP A L A W N U R G H S A D EGEN MER P JOIN TNT, AUSSIE L M U S O K O K D E S IS -TO-BE-M T O N R U O T A T H IG N THEM Y T R A P H C A E B – RESSED D T S E B R O F S E IZ PR

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Topdeck travel ip voucher & Oktoberfest tr s. for 2. Busabout flexi trip Tickets to Twickenham, Sandown Park & CircoLoco

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FANCY DRESS

Y T R A P H C A BE

Sun July 28 at Koko | 1a Camden High St, London, NW1 7JE | 5pm - 11pm | Tickets £15 TNT_1558_022 22

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05/07/2013 17:57:29

‘the butcher for all your needs’ polskie mięso, mi so, w wę ędliny i kiełbasy kiełbasy łbasy

BUTCHERS

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05/07/2013 11:32:50

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Matthew P

The singer-songwriter on local influences, why surfing matters and playing the TNT 30th birthday bash INTERVIEW alasdair morton

You’re playing the TNT 30th birthday show, are you looking forward to it? Yeah, I’ve not played with Ash [Grunwald] or Polly [Money] before, so I’m looking forward to it. It works out nicely, as I’m off to Holland the week after for four dates on the coast. Holland’s nice as it so small, just two hours across – the size of East Anglia [where he’s from] basically. Since your debut album, Long Straight Lines, was out last year, you’ve been touring the world pretty much… Yeah, I have been away quite a lot. I did a twoweek tour in Spain with [ex-Slowdive frontman] Neil Halstead. We went around Spain in his campervan and got all our stuff nicked. And I went to Indonesia, and did some gigs out there with [surfboard maker] Deus. Is travelling a big part of your life? I am always travelling in the spiritual sense, whether that takes me to other countries [or not], it’s part of the same thing. I like new experiences. What’s new on the horizon? I am just about to embark on a whole new chapter of my life as I am going to boat building college. I have always loved working outdoors but now I want to get some serious skills. How did you go about writing Lines? It normally happens quite organically. I won’t force it, then I’ll go travelling or do something different and then something will spring to mind. But right now I am writing the music for a film. What’s the movie? It is a feature film called SuperBob made by two friends of mine who are skateboarders and used to make skate films. They liked my music and asked me to get on board. It is a romantic comedy about a reluctant superhero, but very English, like Peep Show.

Anti-label: Matty P in a rare moment inland Yeah, as much as you look for them, the waves are never really big here, but you can still take the long board out and enjoy it. It’s just about being in the sea. I find it really rewarding and centring. It keeps me rooted. Did you pick it up easily? It is a difficult thing to learn. I started bodyboarding when I was 16 but then moved inland for six years. As soon as I got back to the sea I got stuck into stand-up surfing. It takes a lot of dedication … a lot of people try it out and find themselves giving up. How do you feel about being tagged with the new-folk genre? I don’t totally understand it. I am out of touch. I don’t really gig in London that often, only when touring, and it is mainly based there. There seems to be a weird ‘countryside’ thing going on.

What’s been the most challenging aspect of writing for film? In a way, there is more expectation. And it’s really hard to write a happy song on demand.

Mostly in southwest London it seems… Which is obviously a bit of a dressing up game, otherwise they would be in the countryside, right? I don’t really know, some people call it anti-folk, too, which is really weird. I just see myself as a songwriter, I live in Suffolk and there is a scene down here with really good musicians.

You’re a big surfer – do you have to seek it out in Suffolk?

Who would you like to write a song with – past or present?

Probably my great-great-uncle, Henri Bergson. He was a famous philosopher and would be a great person to write a song with. He won the Nobel Prize [for literature in 1927]. I don’t know that much about him but he was quite a deep thinker. He’d probably have some great lyrical ideas. Who have been your biggest influences? Probably one of the biggest was a guy who died last week, Frank Prendergast. He was the singer in our local blues band and we grew up watching him play the local hall for 25 years. He was a big influence on me and my brothers. He used to play a lot of covers but it was his performances. He worked as a director and made a lot of stuff for TV, but when on stage it was like he flicked a switch – he became this community leader and would throw out all this energy and get everyone dancing. And that’s what music is about, it is a community thing. He was a unifying performer… Yeah, with him it wasn’t about ego, it was about giving things to the people you live near and live with so that they can have a good time. I find that really inspiring. It’s what I’d like to be doing in 20 years. Matthew P plays the TNT 30th Birthday bash at Koko, July 28. £15 NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent tntmagazine.com/30bday

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OVER £2500 WORTH O

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i mate myTNT r Prize Package!

H OF PRIZES AND JUST ONE WINNER how to enter To celebrate our new social network, myTNT, we’re going to make sure one lucky winner’s summer gets sorted! Win a trip around Europe for you and a mate, a pair of Bestival tickets, a state-ofthe-art camera and five passes to see Rock Of Ages. Here’s how ...

myTNT YOUR SUMMER SORTED CHALLENGE Over a period of five weeks, we’ll ask you to take a photo in London and post it on myTNT (see tntmagazine.com/summer-sorted for how and where). Not just any old shot, though. We'll set a different photo challenge each week. You must complete every challenge to be eligible to win. After five weeks, we'll choose who posted the best five photos. The judges will pay particular attention to inventiveness and, above all, fun!

CHALLENGE #3 Po st a picture of yo ur

'FAVOURITE SUM MER FOOD OR DRINK '

at my.tntmagazin e.com. Enter as many ph otos as you like. More info on ho w and where to post your pics at tntmagazine.co m/ summer-sorted

A TRIP AROUND EUROPE FOR YOU AND A MATE The winner bags a three-day La Tomatina camping trip PLUS a six-stop Busabout Hop-on Hop-off Flexitrip to get there – for two people! Use the Flexitrip to explore Europe with a choice of 33 destinations across nine countries. Then jump off in Spain to get messy at the world's biggest food fight in the tiny town of Buñol on August 28. busabout.com/hop-on-hop-off/flexitrip busabout.com/festivals/la-tomatina

2 X BESTIVAL TICKETS including Wild Copse camping You'll also receive a pair of tickets – including Wild Copse camping – to music fest Bestival's HMS-themed weekend of fun on the Isle of Wight this September 5-8. The fest's 10th anniversary year is not to be missed, featuring gargantuan headliners Elton John and Snoop Dogg, plus M.I.A, The Flaming Lips, Carl Cox and many more. bestival.net

an E-PL5 Olympus camera Also in your haul will be a state-of-the-art E-PL5 Olympus camera, with special features such as fast AF, touch operations and superb image quality matching that of the OM-D camera, and all within a compact, easy-to-carry design – ideal for capturing your amazing summer! olympus.co.uk

5 x tickets to Rock of Ages You'll also win tickets for you and four of your friends to see the smash hit musical Rock Of Ages at the Garrick Theatre in London’s West End. The worldwide smash-hit is a rockin' mix of 80s-themed hilarity and eyebrow-scorching tunes, including Don’t Stop Believin’, We Built This City and The Final Countdown. rockofagesmusical.co.uk

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05/07/2013 15:10:37

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Hero or anti-hero? We Steal Secrets is heavy on questions, light on answers

we steal secrets FILM review by Laura Chubb DIRECTOR: Alex Gibney | 15 | 130mins | Out July 12

pacific rim FILM Starring: Idris Elba, Charlie Day, Charlie Hunnam | 12A | 131mins

What do you do if a giant monster army that would make Godzilla shit himself rises out of the oceans? Build mega robots piloted by people to fight them, obviously. That’s what happens in director Guillermo del Toro’s (Pan’s Labyrinth) futuristic sci-fi action spectacle which is set to be one of the biggest, loudest, and most utterly bonkers movies to hit the multiplex this summer. On general release July 12

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WikiLeaks and Julian Assange haven’t been quiet about taking issue with Oscar-winning documentarian Alex Gibney’s film charting the rise and fall of the organisation and its ‘face’ – the opposite, in fact, going so far as to issue a lineby-line rebuttal of the script. But while it’s true that Gibney doesn’t go easy on Assange – who by the end of the movie is accused of turning into the very thing he reviles – is it possible WikiLeaks doth protest too much? Gibney makes a complicated story completely compelling, walking us through the finer details of this century’s most important political scandal (leaked diplomatic cables, blushes all round the Obama administration and may-or-maynot-be-linked sexual assault charges levelled at Assange) without ever getting bogged down. He’s also been gifted an assembly of odd characters who cannot fail to fascinate – blogger Adrian Lamo, who really sets the story alight by snitching on the source of the leaks (cross-dressing army misfit Bradley Manning), makes Bad Santa’s Thurman Merman look socially competent. The film asks more questions than it answers, which isn’t necessarily a weakness – part of the fun is getting caught up in the debate around right and wrong; did he or didn’t he? But it puts great stock in providing an insight into its main characters – Manning and Assange – when these are the only people Gibney didn’t interview. The result, then, is more conjecture than anything else, but it’s thoughtprovoking stuff all the same. Read our interview with Gibney on P28. Good for: Getting to grips with a captivating and historic scandal

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mat ricardo: showman

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

The cabaret star’s third solo show is about to storm Edinburgh, where he is sure to add to the plethora of five-star reviews and plaudits he has already reaped. Be ahead of the curve and catch this preview show, in which he shows off why he is one of the best jugglers – and gifted stand-ups – gigging today. Leicester Square Theatre 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX. July 11. £8 Leicester Square matricardo.com

lowry & the painting of modern life

our town

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

LS Lowry’s look at modern life, and the industrial communities of the north for which he is most famous for, forms the cornerstone of this new exhibition. It comprises the best and most popular of the Lancashire-born artist’s urban landscapes and is the first major exhibition of its kind since Lowry’s death in 1976.

A few chairs, tables, ladders and a leafy bough hanging overhead make up the scenery in Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer Prize-winning study of everyday life in New Hampshire between 1901 and 1913. Written in 1938, it was experimental for the time – one character breaks through the fourth wall – and Tim Sullivan’s production is mildly diverting if underpowered. LK

Tate Bankside, London SE1 9TG. Until Oct 20. £16.50+ Southwark tate.org.uk

King’s Head Theatre Upper Street, N1 1QN. Until Jul 20. £15+ Angel kingsheadtheatre.com

sean brightman What’s the show all about? It’s all about Edinburgh Festival preview season, baby. We believe in bringing the brilliant and diverse comedy to brilliant and diverse venues. We put on three mini-previews a night and this week we have Matthew Highton, Ian Smith and Benjamin Crellin. It’ll be a cracker.

Photos: Seamus Ryan; Getty

Who inspired you to take to the stage? Seeing Daniel Kitson at the Sydney Opera House nine years ago sparked something off in me.

the moo man

derren brown: infamous

FILM

THEATRE

This amazing crowd-funded doco wowed the crowds at this year’s Sundance Film Festival and now hits over here. It’s about a dairy farmer, Steve Hook, who is determined to keep his small Sussex farm sustainable and organic. Chiefly, though, the film focuses on the relationship he has with his 55 cows, including one in particular, Ida, and her loving personality.

Derren Brown – psychological illusionist and mentalist – asked punters and critics not to divulge what goes on in this mind-boggling new show. So what to say? He won’t object to our writing that he’s a first-rate showman who continues to astound and accomplish the impossible. Superbly entertaining. LK

On general release July 12

Palace Theatre W1V 8AY. Until Aug 17. £16+ Square nimaxtheatres.com

Leicester

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen? Usually my wife Renata, she’s hilarious. Or something Lady, our three-legged dog does. And a couple of years ago at Edinburgh my wife and I sat in the front row for Terry Alderton’s final show. Halfway through I looked at her and she shrugged her shoulders, not getting it. Then Terry started barking like a dog and she started losing it, crying and convulsing with laughter. This then set me off, and then the people either side of us. We were all in uncontrollable fits of laughter for 10 minutes! We Love Comedy, Brixton, July 17. £3+ Effra Social, SW2 1DF Brixton weheartcomedy.com

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War of the words: filmmaker Alex Gibneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doco about WikiLeaks has ruffled feathers but heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not going to apologise for its point of view 30

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Secrets and lies Oscar-winning director Alex Gibney’s new doco about WikiLeaks has got Julian Assange on the warpath. TNT finds out why Words LAURA CHUBB

“One of the things that attracted me to this story was that there were heroes at the heart of it,” says Alex Gibney, Oscar-winning director of the controversial new doco, We Steal Secrets: The Story Of WikiLeaks. “I came into this story looking for a hero.” Then Gibney pauses and gives the slightest of shrugs. “But, inevitably, things change.” WikiLeaks and Julian Assange have made no secret of just how pissed off they are about this documentary – they’re so pissed off, they’ve gone so far as to issue a line-by-line rebuttal of the entire script (wikileaks.org). Assange himself has slammed it as “anti-WikiLeaks” and the organisation is accusing Gibney of “errors and sleight of hand”. It’s fair to say the film isn’t overly kind to Assange. It accuses him of muddying WikiLeaks’ cause – fighting for total ‘truth’ and transparency – by refusing to face up to the sexual assault charges brought against him by two women in Sweden (though it does not conclude that he is either guilty or not guilty of the alleged crimes). Crucially, the film suggests he was wrong to make the charges a part of the WikiLeaks story, considering the inference from Assange is that these assault claims were invented in order to extradite him to Sweden, so he can in turn be extradited to the US and charged with espionage for leaking diplomatic cables. “There is a lie at the heart of what Julian did,” Gibney tells TNT as we settle into a sofa at the Soho Hotel. “The original sin of WikiLeaks, the moment in the garden, is when he makes this Swedish matter a part of WikiLeaks.” The film even raises the question of whether funds donated to WikiLeaks have gone to the transparency cause or the Australian’s defence case. Yup, Assange was never going to love that. However, if you wanted to try and understand this century’s most vital and complex political scandal, you’d need a man like Gibney at the helm. Esquire magazine called him “the most important documentarian of our time” and he’s got ample grounding in the subject matter, having already delved into high-profile sex scandal with 2010’s Oscar-nominated Client 9: The Rise And Fall Of Eliot Spitzer, and war crimes in Academy Award winner Taxi To The Dark Side, about an innocent Afghani tortured and killed at an American airbase. Gibney’s new film is undoubtedly compelling, skillfully explaining how the WikiLeaks saga unfolded – from the process of releasing classified US government information

over the internet, to Assange holing up in London’s Ecuadorian embassy, where he’s been since June 2012, to avoid arrest – and exploring precisely why it had such dire consequences. And bearing in mind all the press coverage lavished upon WikiLeaks and Assange, it’s refreshing to see some focus on Bradley Manning, the troubled individual who actually leaked the information – Assange was more the

“

I’d hate to see Julian Assange with power

”

publisher – and now faces life imprisonment for ‘espionage’ and ‘aiding the enemy’. But where Gibney has really gone to war with WikiLeaks’ silver-haired chieftan is over the transparency of his personal life. Perhaps even more important than the political in We Steal Secrets is the personal, with the motivations of central ››

The face of WikiLeaks: Aussie Assange is criticised in the doc tntMagazine.com

Troubled: the film includes footage of Bradley Manning (second from right), who is now on trial for the leaks characters Manning and Assange preoccupying the director’s final cut. Throughout the film, Gibney makes no secret of the fact his sympathy lies with Manning, who is portrayed as a confused, cross-dressing loner, mercilessly bullied in the army and so tormented by his decision to provide classified material to WikiLeaks, he confesses all and seals his own fate. The director admits Assange is cast in the opposing role. “This is a film about an anti-hero,” he tells us. “[Assange is] someone who becomes the very thing he despises. [WikiLeaks] gets compromised by a guy who, ironically, is good at holding others to account, but he can’t be held to account himself.” Assange starts the film in Melbourne as a ponytailed teenage hacker with noble ideals and ends it as an ego that has grown bigger than his cause. But from the very beginning, We Steal Secrets hints at what it concludes is his fatal flaw – it’s in the bravado of his admission early on that he “likes defending victims and crushing bastards”; the early arrogance as, following a pre-Manning leak, he travels to Iceland in order to challenge a claim that he’ll be arrested if he does so. Gibney tells TNT unequivocally that he believes “it became more important for Julian to be the centre of the [WikiLeaks] story”. He also responds to our question about Assange running for the Australian Senate with the unambiguous

assertion that he’d “hate to see Julian Assange with power”. We might conclude, then, that the director completed this film with a fully-formed opinion of his leading man in mind, which runs into difficulties when you consider Gibney didn’t actually interview Assange for the doc. Not that he didn’t try to secure a face-to-face. But, the filmmaker claims, after being offered only short interviews or “sound bites”, he

“

Assange becomes the very thing he despises

”

We Steal Secrets: The Story Of WikiLeaks is out through Universal on July 12. Read our review on P26.

xxx for some, Assange is Icon: axxxx revered force for good 32

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Photos: Universal Pictiures International 2013; 2013 Focus Features LLC

decided the film would be no worse off without Assange. “[It would be] like talking to a politician,” he decides. “It’s ultimately not that satisfying because you’re getting sloganeering. You’re not getting a human being anymore.” Throughout our interview, Gibney is the consummate professional, engaged and offering insight despite this being one in a long day of press meetings. But put the “errors and sleight of hand” quote to him and he gets visibly ruffled. Politely annoyed, of the annotated transcript he insists: “The annotations are mostly wrong. There’s nothing that caused me to think I made any factual errors in the film. The campaign against the film [hasn’t been] a debate, it was more of a disinformation campaign closer to something the CIA would [put together]. The film does criticise Julian Assange for some of his actions ... but it’s never antiWikiLeaks. From beginning to end, it’s pretty clear about its admiration for the initial ideals of WikiLeaks. [But] the film does have a point of view – it’s my point of view.” Inevitably, it’s impossible to draw any easy conclusions from Gibney’s movie – in investigating a tangled web, it has also managed to spin one of its own. But that’s what’s so fascinating about this story – even suspended in limbo in a stuffy room in the Ecuadorian embassy, it’s got legs. ❚

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LOVE ON THE WEB So last November I joined the ‘meat market’ again, and having been a serial monogamist for the past three years, I decided to give the whole internet dating thing a go. I started this ‘click journey’ on a free site, and after a couple of dates, and many, many online invitations to some rumpy pumpy, I decided to give one of the more credible paid-for versions a go. I started going on dates with guys that really weren’t my type, guys I had no real common interests with, but thought I might learn something new, discover some amazing new talent for some niché sport, or even wine tasting (not a huge fan of wine, me). Date one: I head home after 35 minutes waiting for him to show, texting to say I hope he hasn’t be in some hideous accident. He replies demanding I return. My response was in no exact terms, no. Tardiness is one of my pet hates. Date two: Interesting. He seemed a nice guy, but then on the second date he outted himself as some kind of Nazi, needless to say, I ran. Date three: Asked me to take part in a porno. Date four: Never showed. Date five: Brought me flowers, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. Date six: Asked me to be in a porno. I’m going back to the old-fashioned way of meeting someone. I mean really, what’s wrong with smiling and saying hi? If this means I am going to be single for a lot longer than I am used to, well so be it… Read more at my.tntmagazine.com/blogs

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LifestyleHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

Hotpod yoga There’s something strangely serene about being inside an inflatable pod. Perhaps it’s because it feels like the physical manifestation of a ‘protective bubble’. The soft lighting, incense and 38°C heat certainly help. I can understand why Hotpod Yoga usually offers its portable studio to offices, as this seems the perfect antidote to a stressed-out day behind a desk. I checked it out for a public pop-up session and have been bugging TNT towers to hire it ever since. Having done hatha yoga a few times, I recognised most of the moves, although due to the constantly flowing nature of the routine, I found it a little hard to keep up at times. I also struggled with the heat (although it’s cooler than Bikram), with slight dizziness making balancing tricky. However, it made me way more flexible than usual – I can barely touch my knees at the best of times, but I felt much more comfortable in the pod, even when I had my knees either side of my ears. Surely that’s a better way to get to know your work colleagues than gossiping by the water cooler? Public pop-ups Saturdays at 10am and 3pm, until July 27, £10. CG Paddington Arts Dance Studio, Notting Hill, W9 2BE & Jubilee Primary School, Brixton, SW2 2JE Westbourne Park (Notting Hill) Herne Hill (Brixton) hotpodyoga.com

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Be a kid again Don’t act your age – acting your shoe size is much more fun and, wait for it, better for you Words caroline garnar

Have you ever thought whilst out on a run: “The one thing missing is a bunch of people throwing coloured powder at me”? You probably haven’t, but you should, because it makes it a helluva lot more enjoyable. The Color Run presented by paint company Dulux (thecolorrun.co.uk) is taking place this Sunday and involves just that. “Imagine it as a great big summer snowball fight of colour,” event director Joe Rafferty tells us. Billed as “the happiest 5k on the planet”, with Zumba warm-ups, the aforementioned coloured powder thrown at you every kilometre, and a big party at the finish line, it made us wonder how we could be happier simply by acting like big kids every now and again.

Get high When we were kids, we loved nothing more than climbing a big tree, just to sit and be. We doubt we were contemplating anything more profound than whether we wanted fish fingers or chicken nuggets for tea, but there’s something about the exhilaration of climbing coupled with the quiet of sitting on-high that clears your mind. Burnout expert and life coach for the NHS Online Health Sector,

Feathered foe: Trafalgar Square’s Pillow Fight Day 36

Jayne Morris (jaynemorris.com) explains: “When you’re having trouble solving a problem, just a few moments engaging in your instinctive state of play is enough to occupy your conscious mind and free up the innovative thoughts of your unconscious, which is your creative genius within.” PLAY HERE: The Great Big Tree Climbing Company (bigtreeclimbing.co.uk) regularly hold tree climbs, zip wire rides and ‘leaps of faith’ in parks and National Trust sites. The next one is taking place on July 20 at Alexandra Park.

Bouncy, bouncy Trampolines, pogo sticks, bouncy castles, the bed … give us something springy and mini TNT would jump on it. Aside from being great fun, it’s also great exercise and a stressreliever. “Playing helps us to overcome the cumulative overload of stress hormones on our bodies because it gives us a physical way to process them,” Morris says. PLAY HERE: Strap on some Kangoo Jumps (shoes with bouncy bits attached to the soles) and bounce your way around the gym at Gymbox (gymbox.com) in Westfield every Saturday (3pm) and Wednesday (7.45pm).

Hop to it: bouncing is fun – that’s a fact

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As a youngster, no matter where you were, if you heard a song you loved you would dance like a crazed baboon and sing at the top of your voice. Wouldn’t the world be a better (if noisier) place if we still did that as adults? “Children don’t judge the performances of others until we teach them to – they just enjoy themselves,” says Judith Marples, life coach and director at JMH Aspirations (jmhaspirations.org.uk). As for what others might think? “Let them think. After all you are the one having fun, releasing all your tension and having a better day.” PLAY HERE: Dance to your own tune, quite literally, at the silent disco at London Zoo Lates (zsl.org), every Friday until August 2.

“Children find an outlet for their frustrations by throwing a tantrum, then a few minutes later they get over their grumble and calm down again,” Morris points out. Yep, there’s something undeniably therapeutic about letting it all out. “Raaaaa!” Ah, that’s better. PLAY HERE: Every April a mass pillow fight is held in NEXT WEEK Trafalgar Square Fancy pants: Top (pillowfightday.com). tips for prepping Prepare yourselves to for dress-up parties eat our feathers. in London

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JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London (All Areas) Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours, Applicants must speak fluent English. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner. Jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

BERKELEY SCOTT T: 020 7268 6264 www.berkeley-scott.co.uk We are the UK’s market leaders in Hospitality Recruitment both Temporary and Permanent.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Business Development/Sales Manager Location: Central London Salary: NEG Basic with OTE £40K+ Using our database you will contact lapsed and prospect clients (Chefs, Catering Managers and Food +Beverage Managers), to arrange meetings to win business for our temporary recruitment teams. Mike Gardner | 020 7268 6264 | mike.gardner@berkeley-scott.co.uk

CREWCO T: 0845 458 9400 www.crewco.net CrewCo is a premium supplier of TV, stage and event crew in the UK

JOB OF THE WEEK: General Crew and Crew Chiefs Location: London and Home Counties Salary: Competitive We are looking for individuals preferably with experience working as crew in the TV, theatre and events industries. You will need to be very hard working, committed, punctual, polite, well presented and possess a professional outlook. John Mcavoy | 0845 458 9400 | www.crewco.net

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PANTS FOR PERKS Pride and dignity not your thing? Head on down to Slim Jims Liquor Store in Angel, then, where you’ll be given a free drink if you hand over your underwear in exchange. Sounds fair. Note that said undies will be hung from the ceiling along with the others that have been handed in, so keep ‘em clean. More at slimjimsliquorstore.com.

What non-essential items do you spend money on? I love buying tools, car parts and DVDs.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Holiday flings F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone’s daughter Tamara holidayed on a £38m yacht with new husband Jay Rutland last week. It was her 11th trip abroad since March. Lucky girl ...

❚ Lewis Hamilton and Nicole Scherzinger have apparently broken up. Again. In happier times, he’s said to have dropped more than £50k on a Caribbean holiday for them. Thanks for the memories.

Slick: Hamilton treated his Doll to a £50k break

❚ Not one to be out-blinged, rapper P-Diddy reportedly splashed around £395,000 to get away on a 197ft-long mega-yacht. The beast of a boat boasted six luxury cabins and a Jacuzzi. Obvs!

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❚ The most TNT can hope for at Christmas is a sherryinduced coma by 9pm; not so for the Beckhams. David reportedly shelled out £250,000 to take Posh and their brood to the Maldives for Crimbo, paying £6 for each minute of their time at a luxury resort. ❚ It’s said Kanye wooed Kim with a £30,000 holiday in St Lucia for a week. We reckon that would swing it for us.

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Grow your own Thinking of going homegrown but have no garden to speak of? Here are your options... Words caroline garnar

Eggspress heart egg mould Bring new meaning to ‘love eggs’

Without wanting to sound like your gran, the simple shift from shop-bought to homegrown fruit, veg and herbs can make a difference to your health, your pocket, your cooking and Mother Nature. From veg patch to plate in minutes, there are no food miles involved, which is great for the environment and means you aren’t paying towards transport costs. It also means you get the full-whack of nutrients, with no pesticides to worry about. Plus, there’s just something so ‘Earth Mother’ about it. “There is nothing like going out of your back door or onto your balcony to cut fresh herbs for your cooking,” says Kerstin Rodgers, the ‘cooking half’ of grow your own gurus The Secret Garden Club (secret-garden-club.blogspot.co.uk). “Gone are the days when we keep musty dried parsley in outdated spice racks. Plus, gardengrown fruit, vegetables and herbs lend vibrancy, colour and flavour to your cooking.”

The good life: find an allotment in London Deputy chair and granddaughter to the founder of Squire’s Garden Centre, Sarah Squire, agrees: “Many vegetables can be grown in pots, including potatoes – you will need a deep container for these – tomatoes, courgettes and beans. Salad crops and herbs are ideal in a window box.” Just make sure you put the pots in a sunny spot and, if they are outside on the balcony, make sure they are out of the wind. “Better to have a spot that gets the sun only part of the day so long as it’s out of the wind,” Erskine advises. “Put up a windbreak of some kind if necessary.” Growing in pots does mean you won’t be able to cultivate as much of a variety, but

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“Don’t assume you have to have a garden. Most veg and lots of fruit too will grow in a pot, on a balcony, or even on a windowsill if necessary,” explains SGC’s green-fingered half, Christina Erskine. “If you have to grow in pots, be creative: old oil drums, veg crates from your local greengrocer, old chimney pots … lots of containers can be recycled to grow vegetables. The important thing to remember is to punch or drill holes in the bottom so that excess water can drain out and they don’t get waterlogged.”

Go potty: it’s easy to grow your own herbs it is easily the most convenient option – the concept of digging up fresh veg for your dinner suddenly loses its appeal if you have a muddy half-mile trudge to your allotment.

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your view eleanor mellor Student, 21

“My parents had an allotment so I’ve grown up growing my own fruit and veg. Lettuce is great – it’s quite easy and there’s never any mouldy lettuce in my fridge because I just grab it as I want it.”

georgina

alcott Bartender, 31

Flowerpot men: Mobile Gardeners offer creative community gardening

“Even though I have a garden, I prefer to use pots – it keeps things under control. My tip: add tomato feed to your strawberry plant’s soil and they’ll be extra red and juicy.”

Allotments You can try to get an allotment, but waiting lists can be very long – in most cases more than a year. To register, you’ll need to contact your local council or the council of the borough the allotment you have your eye on is governed by (find your nearest available block by typing in your postcode at london.gov.uk/allotment/map). If you are successful, you can expect to pay around £100 a year and you will need to sign a tenancy agreement for the site. The great advantage of renting an allotment is you can put some real time into your cultivation. “While most vegetables are grown on an annual basis, you might also like to consider a bed for your permanent planting,” Squire says. “Raspberries, currants, blueberries, gooseberries and so on are a long-term project. Rhubarb and asparagus also need a permanent spot and some patience.”

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

Community gardens A green-fingered duo known as Mobile Gardeners (mobilegardeners.org) have created community gardens and “pocket parks” around the Elephant and Castle area. “We have tenants who have miniallotments,” co-founder Richard Reynolds tells us. “They are free tenancies and people can come and go from the park as they please to tend to their veg, fruit and their ornamental plants.” Unfortunately, we couldn’t find anything like this in London out of the Elephant and

alistair

walker Student, 21

Sitting pretty: if it holds soil, you can grow in it Castle area, but you could try to start your own. Ask your council who owns any of the unused plots in your area and see if they’d be happy for you to use it as a community garden. Reynolds tells us that Australianowned developer Lend Lease encourages Mobile Gardeners to use their land. You could also try asking your building manager if they would be happy to let you make use of a grassy patch in the grounds. It will add an attractive element to the building and you can see if other residents want to join in. If you live in a house with a garden, but it belongs to your neighbours, ask them if they would mind you using it – you can schedule in a weekly slot to tend to your patch. We’re sure they would be more NEXT WEEK than happy to let you do Lofty ambition: this in return for a few Careers up high free veggies. GUIDE TO URBAN FORAGING tntmagazine.com/street-eats

“I’m useless with remembering to do stuff, so a veg patch would never get the care and attention it needs. It would be lucky to last a week!”

need help? If you don’t know your potato shoot from your tomato plant, try one of these workshops: • Learn from experts without leaving the house with this online horticultural school. my-garden-school.com

• Join Mobile Gardeners for one of their regular ‘skill up’ events. mobilegardeners.org/events

• The Secret Garden Club holds a variety of workshops followed by a supper and cocktail session centred around the same theme. secret-garden-club.blogspot.co.uk

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Too cute: kid haka

kids ‘cutest haka ever’ goes viral new zealand

A group of pre-school kids have become internet celebrities after a video of them doing a haka went viral. The tiny tots from Bronwyn’s Place Daycare, near Wellington, give a spirited rendition of the Ngati Toa chief Te Rauparaha’s Ka Mate, in a video that’s been labelled “the cutest haka ever”. The kids give a brilliantly passionate – if not entirely accurate – rendition of the Maori tribal war dance. This video might not be as cute as the top 10 cutest baby animals falling asleep one that’s doing the rounds on YouTube, but it is still pretty adorable. Watch it at tntmagazine.com/news/weird. tweets of the week @GaryLineker17h After the 2nd set he said “What am I f**king doing”? Winning @andy_murray you’re winning. #wimbledon @theharryshearer5h Haven’t been following the news that closely, but I was against Morsi when he was still with the Smiths

man ties up thief, goes to work united states

An American man who caught a burglar ransacking his home, tied him up and left him in his front garden as he was late for work. The Oklahoma homeowner heard noise coming from his daughter’s bedroom, so waited outside the front door to grab the thief as he tried to escape. The hero’s wife, Denay Houston, said he “bum-rushed” the bandit before hog-tying 42

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High note: Sydney zoo keeper Steve plays the sax to Casey the leopard seal as part of a research project. We kid you not. Researchers at Taronga Park Zoo are keen to see how the music affects Casey, and how the seal reponds to different sounds. Is it just us, or is Casey poking out her tongue at Steve? She’s made her feelings known ...

him: “He’s like a super-hero. That’s just the type of person he is. ‘I got to take care of business. He’s safe, the police are coming, I got to go’.” Police arrested a man who has been charged with burglary.

business class for Fanana the giraffe new zealand

If you’re someone who’s likely to complain about personal space on flights, spare a thought for New Zealand’s newest resident, Fanana. The 2.6-metre male giraffe made the flight across the Tasman, scraping in just under the maximum height requirements for the aircraft in his 2.9m-high cage. Fanana, a nine-month-old who hails

from NSW’s Taronga Western Plains Zoo, was experiencing travel by air, road and sea, with a ferry to chauffeur him across the Cook Strait during his journey to Christchurch’s Orana Wildlife Park. So far Fanana hasn’t had to be sedated and is described as “easy going”. Spokesman Nathan Hawke said: “If we had to transfer him by boat, it would be a much longer journey.” Fanana is being brought to Orana Wildlife Park to replace Harold, the park’s only bull who died last year.

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Bad taste: stag semen

THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 30

Temperature, in degrees celsius, expected to hit London this week, making it the hottest July for seven years

Quantity of beer, in pints, scientists in Athens claim helps circulation when drunk. All the proof we need that beer is good

PUB PUTS STAG SEMEN ON MENU

Price, in thousands of pounds, for which a clump of Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger’s hair sold for at auction

NEW ZEALAND

A Wellington pub is offering syringes loaded with stag semen mixed with kiwifruit liqueur and yoghurt, as part of its entry into a wild food challenge. Sarah Wood, spokesman at the Green Man in the CBD, said she was expecting this year’s shots to be particularly popular with men out on pre-wedding stag nights. And she admitted trying the drink. “Once you get past the fact that there is stag semen in it, it is actually quite a nice wee concoction,” she said. Overall feedback so far was that the drink was really “not that bad,” she added. The semen contains 4000 sperm per serving and is stored in liquid nitrogen at -196C. It’s sourced from Hannibal, a sevenyear-old stag with impeccable credentials.

TWO-HEADED TURTLE HATCHES AT ZOO

Photos: Getty; AAP; Thinkstock

UNITED STATES

A two-headed turtle has hatched at San Antonio Zoo and officials have named her Thelma and Louise. Spokeswoman Debbie Rios-Vanskike said the turtle appears healthy and was able to swim and walk. She said experts don’t foresee any health issues for Thelma and Louise, named for the female duo in the 1991 Oscar-winning road movie. The Texas zoo is no stranger to two-headed reptiles. The

Compensation, in pounds, paid to Graham Lucas who was sacked for allegedly sending rude emails – including photos of penises

Seeing double: Thelma and Louise facility was home to a two-headed Texas rat snake named Janus from 1978 until the creature’s death in 1995.

CARDBOARD BOX FOR RENT IN DARWIN AUSTRALIA

Think you live in a box room? A cardboard box put up for rent in Darwin as a joke has surprisingly generated interest. Darragh Cullen submitted ‘Castle Darwin’ online on Gumtree for the princely sum of £30 a week. The ad spruiks the box’s credentials: “Great protection from invading hordes, siege pack and supplies optional. Keep the dark knight at bay. Adjoining pool/moat. Very secure parking with new modern draw bridge, 5 mins from the city.” Sounds great? Some agreed. “I’ve had four serious calls,” Cullen said. “I told one guy it was a joke but he didn’t speak English so I said it had already gone.”

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20/03/2012 14:51 05/07/2013 11:32:51

TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

Twits: Josh Thomas’s silly tweet should not have been a blip on politics’ radar

Must be no problems if ‘yo momma’ jokes are an issue

Photo: Getty

Comedian’s Abbott gag shows Australia’s ﬁrst-world worries

The politically sensitive were up in arms last week about a tweet from Aussie comedian Josh Thomas regarding Tony Abbott, one of many from the stand-up about the probable future Prime Minister of Australia (it’s real folks). Before going any further, here is the offending 140-ish character quip: “Stop the boats? I would prefer it if you stopped YO MOMMA from comin’ round my place at night for sex. #Political”. Yep, fairly harmless by ‘yo momma’ joke standards – go and check out yomommaso.com for actual offensive ones, if you like. It was sent by a person whose currency is chuckles to his followers, but it was the conservative Liberal leader’s lackeys (fair to say not his followers or fans) who took exception to it, and the mainstream media bit. Assuming you too weren’t irrecoverably lacerated by its comedic barb, let’s ask why it made headlines of all national papers: “Stop the boats?” For Thomas, a presumably leftleaning young Australian, immigration and Abbott’s liking for the three-word slogan isn’t enticing his vote at the forthcoming election; “I would prefer it if…”: A standard polite precursor to an insult in the ‘I don’t mean to offend’ and ‘with all due respect’ family; “If you stopped YO MOMMA from comin’ round my place at night for sex”: This appears to be the bit where he went too far for some. If taken literally, he’s saying Abbott facilitates sex visits by his mother to Thomas’s place, and that they’re unwelcome. If taken literally, and I’d hate to risk misinterpretation here, you are a moron. For starters, since Thomas came out as gay and his comedic material focused increasingly on this life choice, we know he’s not interested in sex with women – Toby Abbott’s mum or otherwise. In a statement to the Herald Sun, Thomas said: “I was just trying to raise the tone of Australian policy debate from where it has been the last few years.” A base comment that all politics is silly just like his tweet, sure, but the fact it’s become a thing says Oz is going OK, or down the path of a scary, oversensitive, selectively politically correct slope. Eek. » Agree or disagree? Were you offended by the Abbott’s mum jibe? letters@tntmagazine.com

JAY-Z’S FREEBIES BAD FOR MUSIC It was a sad moment for music fans last week when Jay-Z gave his new album away for free in a lucrative deal with Samsung mobiles. The rap Goliath’s arrangement with the Korean giant was for a copy of Magna Carta Holy Grail to go to the first million Galaxy S III, Galaxy S4 and Galaxy Note II device owners on Friday, three days before it went on sale. The company paid US$5 a copy (US$5m in total) to do so in a deal which doubled the 99 Problems star’s best ever first week “sales”. Billboard has called bullshit on the move in terms of its chart, saying it’ll count from when the public can

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Billboard called bullshit on its ‘sales’

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buy the work, but Jay-Z won’t care. MCHG is platinum before anyone heard a note and he’s got money in his pocket. I don’t begrudge the guy his business savvy, but it sucks for those of us who live in fairy land and like to think there’s still a chance for a band to release an album and find out if the public likes it or not. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Egypt explained TNT gets the lowdown on the latest political unrest and where it’s safe for people to travel WORDS CAROL DRIVER Egypt is one of the most popular travel destinations for TNT readers. It’s high up on the checklist of must-visit places for expats living in London, with 11.5 million tourists visiting the country last year. So last week’s extraordinary events have led to many having concerns over safety and questions about whether trips already booked should be cancelled. Here, we speak to experts and get the lowdown on making sense of what went on, and whether it’s currently a viable, and safe, destination to visit.

What happened in Egypt? In scenes reminiscent of the Arab Spring in 2011, when President Hosni Mubarak was overthrown, on July 3, Egypt’s army deposed the country’s first democratically elected leader. After just a year in office, Muslim Brotherhoodbacked President Mohammed Morsi was ousted, sparking demonstrations and protests – both in support and against the action – in city centres, including Cairo, Luxor and Alexandria, where hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets. By Friday, at least 50 people had been killed and hundreds injured.

Why did it happen? Morsi narrowly won last year’s election. In the past 12 months, the strict Islamist has become increasingly unpopular and authoritarian, and he had failed to revive the country’s ailing economy, sparking outrage on June 30, the first anniversary of his inauguration. The military stepped in – with what was clearly a well-planned move – with General Abdul Fattah al-Sisi warning Morsi the army would intervene if the public’s demands weren’t met. After defying this, and in the wake of protests and violence, 48 hours later, Morsi was overthrown and the Egyptian constitution suspended, with General Sisi making 46

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a televised address after seizing control of the state media. Top judge Adly Mansour was sworn in as interim president, elections have been promised, and Morsi, along with many of his team, is under house arrest.

Do other countries support the coup? Most world leaders aren’t calling it a ‘coup’, instead referring to it as a popular uprising. New Zealand-based Egyptian Charge d’affaires Mahmoud Zayed said the army’s intervention was in accordance with public demands, and said the mood in Egypt was euphoric and celebratory. He added: “Their [the military] action was based on the will of the people, and based on the massive demonstrations they have seen. People were not happy with the performance of the outgoing administration … and the government was not up to the expectations of the people.” Australian PM Kevin Rudd called the developments “extraordinary”, but added: “I would simply say on behalf of all Australians, we want to see the return to full democratic government in Egypt as rapidly as possible.” While Australian foreign minister Bob Carr described the action as “deeply disappointing”, but said Australia does not oppose it and that there are no plans to close Australia’s Embassy in Cairo.

Which areas of Egypt are affected? The British FCO is advising against all travel to North Sinai, and “all but essential travel” to most of Egypt, but that doesn’t include the popular touristy coast of South Sinai. So travel to the following areas is fine: Sharm el Sheikh, Taba, Nuweiba and Dahab; the St Catherine’s Monastery World Heritage Site; road travel between the Red Sea resorts; road travel from the Red Sea resorts to St Catherine’s Monastery approaching from the east; and transfers between the resorts and the airports of Taba and Sharm el Sheikh. However,

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Travel trade association ABTA spokesman Sean Tipton tells TNT: “Going from past experience, when we had the Arab Spring, the FCO advice against travel to cities was in place for about a week. The situation improved very quickly. But, as it stands, the advice makes very clear which parts of the country it applies to – the main urban centres, such as Cairo and Luxor. “However, if you look at where most people take their holidays, 90 per cent are to the Red Sea resorts, which are totally unaffected by this, so there’s no impact at all. “If you’re going there, it’s irrelevant what’s going on as you won’t notice.” ABTA added that the effect on travel to the country would be relatively minor as it is not peak season. “Hopefully the FCO advice will be lifted shortly, and it will be safe to go,” Tipton added.

For more than 19 weeks, TNT has been campaigning with your help against the UK Border Agency. We’ve revealed horror stories, gained press coverage in the UK and Australia, and attracted support from high-profile MPs. To read our coverage so far, visit tntmagazine.com/ukba. Fifteen weeks ago it was announced the UK Border Agency will be split into two organisations – one dealing with visas. In true shambolic style, a name for the office, and how it’s going to work, is yet to be decided. So far, all that’s clear is that it’s going to be the same staff, reporting to the same bosses, in the same building, operating within the same budgets. Therefore, our demands for this new entity remain the same. Add your voice to TNT Magazine’s UKBA Balls-Up campaign to demand the new office changes its policies so that:

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How long will the restrictions be in place?

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travel guru Simon Calder writes in The Independent: “It is only advice; travellers to other parts of Egypt cannot be compelled to stay away.” The FCO also said it’s not “recommending immediate departure” for those already in the country. The Australian and New Zealand governments have asked travellers to “reconsider your need to travel” – below the high-alert “do not travel”. Carr added that there’s been no evidence that Australians are being targeted. He said anyone planning to travel to Egypt should remain alert to developments, register their travel intentions with the embassy in Cairo and monitor any travel advice issued by authorities or consular staff. “Our strong advice to all Australians in Egypt is to avoid involvement in street protests, even as an observer,” he advised, perhaps stating the obvious.

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✔ Every applicant receives correspondence when an application has been received ✔ Advice is then sent to all applicants detailing the process system and what it means for those wanting to work or travel ✔ Every applicant gets access to an emergency helpline which they can call for updates at any time, not only after six months ✔ The target for processing visas for those based in the UK who are eligible to work is reduced to three months ✔ A full refund is offered to applicants if their application takes longer than the target time if it is due to UKBA incompetency ✔ The amount of premium service appointments is increased – and a full refund is offered to applicants if the UKBA doesn’t adhere to the allotted 24-hour timescale ✔ Applicants wishing to extend visas to stay in the UK can do so before the ‘28 days before expiry’ deadline Add your name to our government epetition. Follow the link from tntmagazine.com/ukba

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the Ashes are awesome for…

‘Captain Grumpy’: not with the Ashes

aussie view

allan border FORMER AUSTRALIAN CAPTAIN The Aussies are being written off – it must bring back some memories… It has happened before. The 1989 Ashes was the perfect example. We were written off there and look what happened [under Border Australia beat England 4-0 – it was their first away series win since 1977]. Australia has to wear the underdog tag though? Absolutely. England are red-hot faves, there’s no dodging that. Australia are better than they think and England aren’t as good as we think. There were times in England’s drawn series against New Zealand that [show] if the Aussies can lift their game five per cent, they could exploit some vulnerabilities. It’s been scandal after scandal, but what positives can the Aussies take into the series? I think the bowling’s good, it’s just whether the batsmen can back them up and get some runs on the board. There’s lots of ifs and buts, but beware the Aussies. What does new coach Darren Lehmann bring to the table – he’s made big calls straight away, naming the openers early and inviting families back in? He’s a very positive thinker and has a wealth of knowledge as a player. He’s done great things for Queensland and has a great calmness about him. He’s also got that Aussie larrikin [quality] that brings fun to a dressing room. He can bring enjoyment to the group and that usually transfers to improvement in players. He can turn nasty if it’s required, though. How important is Michael Clarke’s role going to be – he’s our best player and skipper? Very important. His form has been extraordinary. He’s got Australia out of a lot of trouble and papered over a lot 48

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Legend making: from Bradman’s best and Warnie’s “ball of the century” to Gary Pratt’s heroic run out (look it up)

Sportsmanship: despite fierce rivalry, ‘Freddy’ Flintoff’s consoling beaten Brett Lee in 2005 is the Ashes image

Sledging: Aussie quick Merv Hughes to a scratchy Graham Gooch, “I’ll get you a piano … see if you can play that”

Immortalising cock-ups: Steve Harmison will always be remembered for bowling the first ball of 2006 to second slip

of cracks that widened when he started to miss out in India and they lost 4-0. And as a leader? Tactically he’s wonderful. He wants to keep the game moving. He’s innovative at times. The only question mark is the leadership side off the field. With Lehmann there as the Sergeant Major it really could be the making of him. Who should be there on day one? My attack would be Ryan Harris, Mitchell Starc and James Pattinson. The obvious omission is Siddle, but he’ll play a role in the series. Nathan Lyon is the spinner. And after openers Shane Watson and Chris Rogers? I’d have Phil Hughes or Usman Khawaja at three and five, Clarke at four and at six, Ed Cowan or Dave Warner. It will be a gut feel thing, but Warner brings an X-factor. It’s going to be a much harder series than people think.

Respectful: Nasser Hussain

england view Nasser hussain

FORMER ENGLAND CAPTAIN You’re not part of the chorus of former England players tipping an easy win for England, are you? Some people might be writing off the Australians but not me. I’ve never seen a bad Aussie side, ›› played a bad Aussie side or played with

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK I’m a loyal, parochial Australian and I can never say we’re going to lose a series. So I’m going to say it’ll be a good, tough series Glenn McGrath tipped 5-0 to Australia in his playing days, but doesn’t dare now

Courageous: Michael Clarke

Conservative: Alastair Cook

Photos: Getty

BATTLE ZONES CAPTAINCY

COOL HEADS

Michael Clarke: Bold, some say brash, Oz’s best batsman won’t die wondering. Alastair Cook: Predictable and reliable with bat and in the field – no surprises.

Chris Rogers: In his second Test the opener must be a rock in the top order. Jonathan Trott: Slow and steady at number three – a bowler’s nightmare.

BALL-BREAKERS

X-FACTOR

James Pattinson: The young firebrand should be a handful in English conditions. James Anderson: England’s swing king is undoubtedly the best seamer in the world.

Shane Watson: Showed at Worcester how quickly he can tick the scoreboard over. Kevin Pietersen: Devastating if in the mood and a genuine game changer.

a bad Aussie cricketer. Even the players who aren’t in the Test side come over here and have an impact. Any game against Australia is competitive, and this series will be that. How do you think the warm-up matches will impact the sides coming into this week? Well, the Ashes are never won in the week before. It’s been a bit of a farce here (in Essex, with the match losing its first class status mid-way through), but everyone’s had a run and been together. I think that’s been important for the Aussies, with the change of coach and all that’s been going on – I think time together as a squad has been good for them. Clarke and Alastair Cook are both young captains and their team’s form batsmen – how do you see that matchup? There are a lot of similarities in that

they’re terrific players, but with captaincy they’re at different ends of the spectrum, Cook being more conventional and Clarke being very attacking. It will be an interesting balance to the series. Who is the key for England? I think Graeme Swann could have a huge bearing on the series. The forecast is for a dry summer from now on, which will bring the spinners into it. So with Swann, with his class, and turning it away from the Aussie left handers that could be a big advantage. England have every right to be confident, but could this work against them? England are right to take confidence into the series. They beat Australia easily in the Champions Trophy and are the form side, but they have to keep control of the expectations. They know there’s a lot of work to be done.

Given that we’ve got back-toback Ashes series between now and January, if we get a good summer – and you rarely lose too many days to rain in Australia – make that 10-0 England icon Ian Botham is less bashful … makes one question McGrath’s loyalty BEST EVER ASHES SLEDGES, GREATEST MOMENTS, NEWS AND REGULAR BLOGS

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WATCH IT LIVE ON SKY Join Nasser, Allan and the rest of Sky Sports team of Ashes legends for their exclusive live coverage of the Ashes starting this Wednesday at 11am First Test, July 10, Trent Bridge; second Test, July 18, Lord’s; third Test, August 1, Old Trafford; 4th Test, August 9, Chester-le-Street; 5th Test, August 21, The Oval Listen to all the action on BBC Radio 5 Live

JUST NOT CRICKET CYCLING Tour de France The 100th edition runs until July 21 Live start times vary (highlights 7pm), ITV

RUGBY UNION Crusaders v Hurricanes Live all NZ Super Rugby action Fri, 8.30am, Sky Sports 4

RUGBY LEAGUE Wakefield v Widnes Super League strugglers do battle Mon, 8pm, Sky Sports 3 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Riding high Unwanted by the Dragons, short-term signing Jamie Soward could be a saviour for the London Broncos WORDS MICHAEL GADD

A fortnight and a plane trip ago, Jamie Soward was an outcast, a former State of Origin playmaker unwanted by his NRL club and languishing in the NSW Cup for the Illawarra Cutters, effectively watching the clock until next season when he takes up a four-year deal at the Penrith Panthers. But a stroke of fortunate timing has landed him on the other side of the globe, a welcome insert into the London Broncos line-up has they look to salvage a positive from season 2013. “It’s worked out quite well,” he told TNT last week before heading out the door to Wimbledon. It’s an understatement. The sudden departure of Broncos stalwart Craig Gower back to Australia for personal reasons left a gaping hole in the bottom of the table Broncos line-up. Some quick talking between coach Tony Rea and 28-year-old Soward’s camp turned around a quick deal to get him to London until the end of the season. It’s a fortuitous arrangement for both parties. The day Soward arrived in the UK, last Saturday, he pulled on the boots and showed no signs of jet-lag, coming off the bench to almost inspire a comeback against Salford (down 34-6 at half-time it ended 44-30). Rea said he regretted not starting him, but it’s a good sign for the remaining Super League games of the season and this weekend’s Challenge Cup quarter-final against Sheffield. “We didn’t get the result first up but we can build on that,” he said. “The chance to play in the Challenge Cup was very appealing to me when we worked out the details of me coming over here – you dare to dream that you might be in Wembley [where the knockout competition’s final is played] in a couple of months. That’s hugely exciting. “At the end of the year you want to be playing finals footy, but it’s a bit different over here. You can have an average year but doing well in the Cup could make your season.” After that first cameo, England legend Martin Offiah was glowing in his London Evening Standard column about what Jamie brings to the club. Such comments were a far cry from 50

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the regular criticism in the Australian media which Soward admits “wasn’t good for myself or my family”. “I was up front when I spoke to Tony [Rea]. I said, ‘Look, I’m not coming over there to be a failure’,” he explained. “For me and him, they were a bit light in the halves losing Craig and he wanted me to bring my competitiveness and stuff I do well in the NRL. I’d like to think a few of those attributes come through. I get a chance to come and enjoy my footy again. The media pressure over here isn’t as intense, but I’ll be judged on whether we win or lose.”

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I’m stubborn and I’m here to win footy games

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With the Broncos languishing in wooden spoon position, Soward’s fresh outlook and experience can only help – and despite the short-term deal, he’s already talking like a Bronco and singing from Rea’s hymn book that the team is “scratching the surface” of a big result: “We just need to get a few wins and get a few of these young blokes who have debuted in the last few months winning and being part of that winning culture so they can carry it on for years to come.” A team man through and through, Soward says he has “nothing to prove” after being brushed from the Dragons starting line-up. For the half-back and goalkicker, the primary focus is to play well, and win games. “The main thing I want to get out of it is to experience a different lifestyle personally and play some top-level football,” he said. “I’m with the Panthers for four years from next year, so this is a chance to test myself in the top flight here rather than getting into some bad habits in the reserve

Slotting in: with his Australian teammate Michael Robertson

Photos: Getty; Blue Pitch Media

Focussed: Jamie Soward lines up his first kick for the Broncos

grade back home. I’m the hardest task master on myself so I’ve come over here expecting to win games and compete.” The more open style of the Super League could also add a new dimension to his game when he returns to the NRL. “The main difference here is it’s a lot more free running, which for me is exciting,” he said. “The NRL can be so technical and you’ve got to be on your game wrestling with every play, every week. It can slow the game down and can sometimes get a bit boring, but in my first game there were 74 points scored an a lot of tries, half breaks and stuff. It’s refreshing to have that open running game.” The Broncos have the easiest match of the Cup quarters, avoiding the Super League’s top three – Wigan, Huddersfield and Warrington – and drawing the only team left from the second tier. The Eagles though will also consider themselves lucky landing the Broncos and with home ground advantage be keen to add to their Cup history. “It’s a dangerous one,” Soward warned. “Sheffield’s in the Championship but we know they’re a good side. For us it’s just about putting in a good performance. Everything should fall into place if you just worry about yourself and your own performance.” Soward can’t spend all of his time on the footy field though, so he’s looking to make the most of his time in London – his girlfriend arrives this week while his mother, grandmother and aunty will also be travelling with him. “I’ve been trying to get some Ashes tickets but they’re all sold out,” he laughs. “The critics can ask, why would they get him in for the short term? I’m going to experience the lifestyle over here but don’t make any mistakes, I’m stubborn and I’m here to win football games, bring my knowledge in that might be of use to the younger guys and help the older guys who’ve been digging in every week … a result’s coming.” Challenge Cup quarter final: Sheffied Eagles vs London Broncos, Friday, July 12, 8pm, live on Sky Sports 1 londonbroncosrl.com

Happy days: after kicking a golden point field goal for the Dragons

Quin control: last year’s top point scorer, Kiwi Nick Evans

premiership rugby 2013 new season fixtures out Premiership Rugby last week revealed its schedule for season 2013, kicking off with the traditional doubleheader at Twickenham featuring four London clubs. The opening Saturday on September 7 will feature London Irish against Saracens, last year’s minor premiers, before Harlequins take on London Wasps. Defending champions, the Leicester Tigers, will begin their campaign on Sunday, September 8, against the Worcester Warriors. Newly promoted Newcastle Falcons have the honour of opening the season on Friday, September 6, against Bath at Kingston Park, to be shown live on BT Sport. TNT readers have the chance to win tickets to the London double-header at the home of English rugby at our 30th birthday party at Koko on July 28, featuring Aussie blues-meister Ash Grunwald and heaps more. tntmagazine.com/30thbirthday

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: OLI JONES oliver.jones@tntmagazine.com

Favours Wales: Lions head coach, NZ’s Warren Gatland

Gatland’s starting 15 shows England’s enduring problem Despite its larger population, Three Lions turn out few top players

» Agree or disagree? Is England’s poor Lions showing due to snobs? letters@tntmagazine.com 52

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The announcement that (The Great) Ryan Giggs had been appointed as player-coach at Manchester United is, without question, the best news fans of the club will hear this season. With the incoming David Moyes having cleared out much of United’s backroom staff, Giggs’s appointment marks vital continuity from the Alex Ferguson era. The United veteran’s progression through his coaching badges has been well-documented, with the Welshman set to complete his Uefa pro level next year. There’s a famous video of Giggs’s debut

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Giggs’s appointment is great news for reds

”

on the field for Man U – as he enters the fray, the commentator Clive Tyldesley says: “And number 14 is 17-year-old Ryan Giggs, and we may be seeing the start of a very special career here.” Tyldesley couldn’t have known how right he was. Put simply, Giggs’s playing career will never be bettered. And now we might be witness to a new chapter in his already remarkable story.

Photo: Getty

The Lions tour threw up something of a treat last week when Warren Gatland dropped Brian O’Driscoll and included 10 Welshmen in the starting XV for the final and deciding Lions Test against the Wallabies. This prompted one of the funniest phenomena in all of sports journalism – the sight and sound of ludicrously indignant rugby correspondents harrumphing on the radio and in their broadsheet editorials because their “O’Driscoll crowns glittering career by captaining the Lions to a series victory” headlines were cruelly snatched away. I was genuinely worried for the health of the BBC’s rugby correspondent Ian Robertson as he raged through a hilariously stilted report on the Today Programme. In a refreshing abnegation of the BBC’s policy of balance, Robertson called the decision “outrageous” and later posited the theory that Gatland had picked the side by pulling numbers from a hat. All very funny, and almost entirely wrong. Much of the ire directed at Kiwi Gatland was down to him picking 10 Welshmen in the starting XV. The result of the series is redundant, as there’s a broader point to address than one of Lions politics. The reason there were 10 Wales players in the side is because they were the 10 best players available for those positions. What the English media should be asking themselves is, how is it that Wales and Ireland (and Australia and New Zealand for that matter), countries with a fraction of the population, are able to turn out so many top class rugby players? The answer remains the obvious one: in Wales and Ireland rugby union is a more egalitarian sport, played by all strata of society. In England it simply isn’t. The current England squad is chock-full of public school boys. And while I don’t doubt the blight of the old boys network is in no small part to blame for that, it’s probably more down to the fact rugby still isn’t played at many comprehensive high schools. Many smaller local clubs are vastly more inclusive than they used to be, but many others remain fraught with politics of class and nepotism.

COACH GIGGS BEGINS A ‘SPECIAL’ NEW ERA

he country WORLD CLUB 7 s y storm. TWICKENHAM STADIUM THE INAUGURAL

17 - 18 AUGUST 2013

Rugby worth making the trip for this summer!

xhilaratingTWICKENHAM rugbySTADIUM is forecast. ARRIVALS SUMMER 2013

7s series guarantees a feast of Friday night rugby for all the A C T high-scoring B R U Mrugby B I alongside E S live music y. Enjoy thrilling, op family Hentertainment. All 12 Premiership Rugby clubs A R L E Q U I N S ompete to reach the Final at the Twickenham Stoop.

A L WE S T ERN PROV I NCE A year Saracens scooped the inaugural trophy and went on to A Uglory. C K Will L AthisN year's D winners do the same? A a Premiership S A N at F7pm R Aon N CFriday I S C5th O August. L Final starts N S£5Afor I NU21s. TS O R£10 T H for A Madults P T O and L kets areNjust B L U Evia Bthe U LHarlequins LS kets available ticket office on A B U EorN online O S at A Iwww.ticketmaster.co.uk. RES A 71 527 1315,

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HOW TO BLOG Sign up to our social network at my.tntmagazine.com. You’ll meet fellow travellers living in London, share tips and photos and get access to awesome competitions. There are also easy instructions on how to start your own blog – about travel, London, you name it. Start blogging on my.tntmagazine.com and you could attract hundreds of thousands of readers!

BLOGGING FOR BEER The more you blog, the more chance you have of bagging that beer. We’ll be giving away a case of 24 x 500ml Bondi Beer cans to the 10 most active bloggers on myTNT every month for the next eight months! Remember: more blogs = more chance of free beer!

ABOUT BONDI BEER Bondi Beer is named after Sydney’s world famous beach and was first brewed in a microbrewery in the heart of Sydney in August 2009. There’s a brilliant Saaz hop character and a perfect balance of flavour, with proper body and a good buzzy finish, giving the crisp refreshment of a premium lager. Bondi Beer is already available in the UK at some pubs and bars such as The Porterhouse in Covent Garden.

MORE BONDI! Follow us at the usual places: facebook.com/bondibeerco & @Bondibeer and of course bondibeer.com – more importantly send us your thoughts on the beer, upload pictures of you and your mates having a Bondi and keep watching for launch events, competitions and where we are being served.

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SHINE A LIGHT Mud-covered Christians light candles to celebrate the traditional Taong Putik Festival in the Philippines.

Photos: Helen Reynolds; Orlando Crowcrodt; Getty

INSIDE

GREAT OUTDOORS /58

PIGGING OUT /66

DRIVE EAST AFRICA /70

Stay overnight for free in a bothy shelter and you can wake up right in the heart of the beautiful Lake District.

From mind-bendingly strong beers to bizarre pig-guided village walks, rural Flanders in north Belgium is a surreal destination.

Cliff-top monasteries, close encounters with hyenas and more – a trip along the continent’s east coast is one hell of a ride. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer TRAVEL EDITOR

@tntmagazine

Eccentric: push the boat out at The Secret Garden Party

GOOD, BAD, UGLY: TAXI DRIVERS Love ‘em or hate ‘em, there’s no denying that taxi drivers have a huge impact on the travelling experience of most people.

Had a brilliant taxi driver abroad? Write in and tell us at helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

THE SECRET GARDEN PARTY England If you’re looking for a summer festival that completely embodies English eccentricity, Cambridgeshire’s The Secret Garden Party should 25-28 be your top choice. Music sets are performed on a pagoda in the centre of a lake, you can camp in nomadic yurts instead of tents, and there’s a wide programme of theatre, games and activities. JULY

WHY: Running since 2004, The Secret Garden Party describes itself as a “temporary community that is as free, irreverent, friendly and engaging as it is possible to be.” In other words, it’s four days of unleashing your quirkiest side – dancing, dressing up, stripping off, whatever you fancy.

GUCA

Serbia

Guca Trumpet Festival is the place to hear everything 5-11 from Balkan brass to traditional gypsy wedding music, plus anything else horn-related. AUGUST

guca.rs

MIDI FESTIVAL France

Festivals are falling over themselves this year to 26-28 provide the most beautiful locations, but the pretty medieval hill town of Hyères in the French Riviera, which is the base for the Midi Festival, has to be one of the frontrunners. On stage you can check out The Horrors, Mount Kimbie, Mykki Blanko and Peter Hook & the Light. JULY

midi-festival.com

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DO IT BECAUSE: It would take you weeks to make your way around all of the activity tents, but don’t miss the Gypsy Disco, a wild performance space featuring fire-breathers and exotic dancers, circus performers and jugglers. Not an everyday treat. secretgardenparty.com

KADOOMENT DAY

Barbados

The grand finale of the two-month Crop Over 5 festival, expect plenty of rum-swigging and steel pan music at the Kadooment Day street carnival. Along with the Calypso tuneage is a costume parade which celebrates the end of the sugar cane harvest. AUGUST

visitbarbados.org

CANDLE PROCESSION

Thailand

The Candle Procession is Ubon Ratchathani province’s 22-23 largest festival and marks the start of Buddhist Lent. Large floats are paraded through the streets carrying intricately carved candles to offer to the local temples. JULY

tourismthailand.org

Photos: Wikicommons

There’s the will-he-won’t-hetry-to-rip-me-off moments in the rank outside the airport. The times when you helplessly watch the numbers flying up on the meter as your driver takes lengthy detours, insisting it’s a short cut. The hairy journey when he (sorry, but it is always a he) sends text messages from behind the wheel while doing 90kmph (UAE), winds down the window to send a glob of spit flying out into the highway (China) or gets into furious shouting matches with anyone else on the road (Turkey). Or worse, offers to hook your boyfriend up with a ‘nice girl’ for the evening (more places than I’d want to know about). Last week taxi drivers in Rome and Paris were rated the rudest by British tourists in a survey by airporttransfers.co.uk, accused of being ‘unhelpful’, but in my experience that’s nothing to moan about – in fact, anything better than ‘life-threatening’ is a bonus. So after all that griping, here’s a big shout out to the brilliant taxi drivers you also get to meet when travelling. Those who offer useful advice: “Don’t come to this part of town at night, you’ll definitely get robbed”(South Africa). Those who patiently correct your shameful mispronunciation of the local lingo (Jordan). Best of all, those who put the pedal to the metal when you tell them you’re late for a flight, and get you there in the nick of time by speeding the whole route. Who cares if they sent a few texts along the way?

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Egypt warning

Sharm El Sheikh: still safe to travel

Tourists have been warned against travelling to Egypt in light of the violent clashes between supporters and opponents of President Mohammed Morsi. Last week, the Foreign Office (fco.gov.uk) recommended against “all but essential travel to Egypt except for resorts on the Red Sea in South Sinai and those resorts on the Egyptian mainland in Red Sea governorate”. Many tour operators have cancelled their services in the country as a result. Not covered by the advisory are the resorts of Sharm El Sheikh, Taba, Nuweiba and Dahab, and mainland resorts including Hurghada. Travellers should check advice regularly, as the situation is always changing.

Photo: Thinkstock

Doggy miles Dogs are often praised for their loyalty, but now they can earn a tangible reward for it – air miles. Frequent flier pets can now collect points when they fly domestically with Virgin Australia and these can be used by their owners to obtain discounts on future flights. Virgin Atlantic already has a Flying Paws scheme, which includes giving an on-board pet pack to each of its jet-setting animal customers. Each pooch gets a Virgin Atlantic T-shirt and a sparkly dog tag, while cats get a toy mouse to play with and a collar tag. Each will also receive a pet passport with a record of their flights.

Baggage allowance easyJet has slashed its hand luggage allowance by 37 per cent, claiming that it hasn’t enough room to guarantee overhead space for the baggage that customers bring onto flights. Anyone travelling with bags that are larger than the new size, but meet the old requirements won’t have to pay, but are likely to have their bags stored in the aircraft’s hold, meaning they would have to wait for them to appear in baggage reclaim. An easyJet spokesperson said: “The bag guarantee is a way for passengers to gain peace of mind that their bag will travel with them on board the flight.”

JUST NOT cricket An apparently drunken cricket player mistook a plane’s cabin door for the toilet, and tried to wrench it open on a recent British Airways flight. The Sri Lankan sportsman, who has not been named, was spotted yanking at the door while at 35,000ft on a flight from St Lucia to Gatwick after playing against the West Indies. A fellow passenger told The Telegraph: “It was pretty frightening. Suddenly he came over and tried to open the cabin door several times. It went on for a few minutes. He was pulling quite heavily … Somebody said they had been drinking for four hours before they got on the plane.”

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Perfection: rain and the perils of roughing [Caption] it are long forgotten with views like this

Lake District

Fairweather friend: camping with canvas

England

Laid-back: Buttermere

Home dry: a Lake District bothy

Ramble: let a river be your guide

Alone time: sneaky snuggles 58

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Take a hike: connect with the outdoors and earn your rest

UKTRIP

The great outdoors Stay for free in a bothy shelter and wake up with the Lake District’s finest water views

Photos: Thinkstock, National Trust Images/ Joe Cornish; Nick Thorne; Helen Reynolds; Marc Bajoras.

WORDS ANKITA MAHABIR

I wake at the crack of dawn and step out of the bothy into the cool, crisp air. The early morning light has turned a nearby lake flamingo pink, and the cluster of golden and green trees are reflected in the water. A speckled duck is giving her little ones a gentle swimming lesson and the birds are just starting to sing. I keep my blanket wrapped snugly around me and take a seat by the water’s edge, thinking that as early morning starts go, this takes some beating. I’m out here in the wilderness with my friend Ben, on a mission we’d dreamed up in a Dalston bar together a few weeks earlier – to spend as much time in the great outdoors of this spectacularly scenic region as we could. We decided to try spending a few nights in the numerous bothies and barns scattered across the land, in spite of the fact the nights are still decidedly chilly. After a long drive from London, we reach the campsite of Borrowdale’s Chapel House Farm at the ungodly hour of 2am. Rain is bucketing down to the point it’s impossible to pitch our back-up tent, so we resort to spending the night in the car, tucked up with our blankets and pillows. Things pick up in the morning when the cheerful owner of the farm comes and asks us how we slept, sympathises about the pouring rain and kindly offers the use of his barn should we need to sleep in it later. Looking forward to spending the night in such a unique shelter (there are even mattresses inside, which makes it practically luxurious), Ben and I set off for a hike. What seems like a thousand shades of green make the meadows and hills a stunning sight. Near the farm we discover a beautiful waterfall crashing over slate and into rivers that weave through the scenery. It feels as though we’re the only people for miles – we probably are. Just as the sun is setting, we make it to Derwentwater, one of the biggest lakes in the district. A National Trust fourwheel drive is doing the rounds here, and we get chatting to the ranger, who’s accompanied by a friendly Alsatian. We tell him we’re on a much-needed break from the Big Smoke. “Just slow down and enjoy life,” he says. “London doesn’t let you do that. That’s why it’s good you’re here right now.” He continues to preach to the converted, before convincing me to sign up for National Trust membership there and then – the promise of access to NT bunkhouses and

a free blanket proved too tempting to resist. The following day we hike around Emmerdale Lake, Buttermere and the quaint little town of Keswick. We end up in the hamlet of Watendlath, just south of Derwentwater, where we discover a perfect bothy next to the tarn to kip in after a day’s walking. I think of bothies as essentially being stone tents. Just four walls and a roof, they occasionally offer basic facilities, are usually left unlocked and are available for anyone to use, free of charge or for a nominal fee. Originally left for itinerant workers, nowadays they’re

“

We hike past 1000 shades of green

”

used mostly by walkers, cyclists and other travellers who might find themselves in need of shelter. There’s a strict etiquette to using bothies, based on respect for your fellow travellers. You’re supposed to share if more travellers show up in the night (‘I got here first’ attitudes are definitely not appreciated) and as a gesture of goodwill, you should leave the place as you found it, spick and span – collecting some dry kindling to ease the burden of the next user is also expected. This particular bothy is one of the fancier ones; a snug space with bunk beds (no bedding, but I never said this was the Hilton) that about six people could fit comfortably inside. As we hunker down, I think this back-to-basics mini-break has really been a gorgeous adventure Surf’s up: Brilliant – simple and perfect for anyone breaks and wicked who fancies a bit of alone time waves in the UK with one of the prettiest places in the country.

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lanzarote Seven nights costs £315pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star, self-catering accommodation at the Don Paco Castilla Apartments in Puerto Del Carmen. Departs from London Gatwick on July 16. Corfu A seven-night stay costs £439pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyjet.com/holidays). Includes direct return flights and fourstar, half-board accommodation at the Corfu Residence Aparthotel in Nissaki. Departs from London Luton on July 16. Price is based on two people sharing. Turkey A nine-day boat tour is £415pp (save 35 per cent) with Travel Talk (traveltalktours.com; 0208 0999596). Includes five- and four-star hotel accommodation, some meals and visits to Istanbul, Gallipoli and Troy. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by July 12. Departs from Bodrum on July 13.

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DAILY TRAVEL DEALS Go to tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

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La tomatina A five-day La Tomatina tour is £172pp (save 15 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0999596; traveltalktours.com). Includes four-star accommodation, some meals and visits to Valencia and Buñol. Departs on August 26. Excludes flights and entrance fee. Book by July 31. norway A two-night city break to Bergen costs £244pp with easyJet Holidays (easyjet.com/holidays; 0843 1041000). Deal includes direct return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at the Radisson Blu Norge hotel. Departs from London Gatwick on July 21. Amsterdam A two-night stay is £159pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes direct return flights and three-star, B&B accommodation at the Amstel Botel Hotel. Departs from London Southend on July 31. Milan A two-night stay is £225pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; easyjet.com/holidays). Includes direct return flights and fourstar, B&B accommodation at the Ata Executive hotel. Departs from London Gatwick on August 6. Nice A two-night stay is £242pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star, roomonly accommodation at the Normandie Hotel. Departs from London Stansted on July 16.

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ville. Granada e S . d ri d a M . a San Fe n . lo a e iz Ib . Barc ia c n le a V . a rid. Barcelon d a M . e ill v e S . Mans a d Le a . n e s u Gra lo u o T s. e n n language . Nantes. Ca n o Ly . e ic N . x u e rd o iza. San Ferm Ib Paris. B . ia c n le a V . a n lo e adrid. Barc LeinMan usFee.rm lo Granada. Seville. M u o T s. e n n a n S a . a C iz . s Ib . te a.nValencia .N oenlo .aLy a e n ic N . x rc u e B . rd d o ri B d s. a ri M a . P ada. Seville NOW! K O O B t. u o iss m ’t n o d s, ace

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Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

RUNNER-UP

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NEW LOOKS AT ST PAUL’S Ash Kapoor, London, England

LAZY LAKE GENEVA Yi May Thaw, Myanmar, Yangon City

WHY IT WORKS This classy image shows off the historic curves of London’s St Paul’s Cathedral against the modern, angled glass of the One New Change shopping mall opposite it. Ash tells us he had been waiting for the perfect day to capture this clever frame. “I have always been fascinated with reflections, and this image had been in my mind for some time,” he says. “I had been waiting for the perfect day with good ambient natural light to fall on both the architectural landmarks.”

WHY IT WORKS Yi and her friends were wandering around Lake Geneva on their first stop of a trip to Switzerland and were taken aback immediately by the place’s beauty. While admiring the view past this closed cafe, a local added the final element to her shot. “The lady on the bike came into my sight and made me feel like I’d found a missing piece to fill up this beautiful scenery puzzle,” she tells us.

WHERE IN THE WORLD?

A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

WIN

Going away somewhere soon? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

SPANISH STEPS, ROME, ITALY Joanne Barry, from Australia

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TOP FIVE

water parks

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aquaventure, dubai

Who says water parks are just for kids? Long gone are the days when a dip in a hotel swimming pool was enough to get excited about – now if it’s not plunging down a nine-storey slide, whizzing through a shark-infested tank or at least floating along a network of lazy river rapids, well, we just can’t get ourselves interested. You can always count on Dubai to go big where entertainment is concerned, so even you won’t be disappointed by Aquaventure Waterpark. Sprawling out over 42 acres, a splash and slide on the watery rides here is the perfect antidote to the scorching Gulf temperatures (they keep the water blissfully cooled, too). Head to the imposing Ancient Mesopotamian-style pyramid (above) to shoot down the scariest ride of the lot, the Leap of Faith. The ride starts with a practically vertical drop of almost 30m. Survive that and you’ll find yourself skidding through a clear, acrylic tunnel and coming face-to-face with a tank of sharks. Not enough adrenaline for you yet? Try the Shark Attack!, a spinning 64 00

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tube ride through the darkened inner core of the pyramid, from which you emerge (slightly dizzy) into the same shark-infested lagoon. Too much? Head to the park’s private 700m beach instead for a relax or float along more than 2km of river rapids on an inflatable ring. Aquaventure is also set to expand in August, with the park introducing a number of world firsts to its industry. Developments include the world’s largest diameter slide, the world’s first vertical family ride and the first double slide within a slide experience, where riders will be able to watch fellow sliders suspended above them. With the completion of the 40m Tower of Poseidon ride, it won’t just be the rides reaching new heights either – the park is also building the Middle East’s longest zip wire, which will allow guests to fly above the water park. Entrance costs £43pp. atlantisthepalm.com

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Siam Park, Tenerife

This Canary Islands park claims to be Europe’s most spectacular water attraction, and it’s definitely up there. Home to The Tower of Power, an almost vertical 28m drop that propels you through a shark-filled tank, Siam Park’s unique Thai theme offers something a little extra. Surf the world’s largest man-made waves, which reach heights of up to 3m, or just go with the flow on the Mai Thai River. Tickets cost £28pp. siampark.net

Photos: Getty, TNT

wWK, canada

Wild Water Kingdom’s 100-acre park possesses a good all-round selection of rides to keep everyone happy. Plunge into darkness on The Night Rider while trying to manoeuvre twists, turns and drops at high speeds. Scared of the dark? Then head to the Devil’s Drop where, after shooting off the end of the slide, you’ll drop into an eightfoot deep plunge pool. Uniquely, the park also features a 25ft rock climbing wall that soaks you as you climb. Entrance costs £20pp. wildwaterkingdom.com

Beach Park, brazil

Glamorous getaway

Now we could never leave out the place that can boast the world’s tallest water slide. At 41m – a 14-storey building – only the fearless tackle Insano. Riders reach the northeast coast venue’s splash pool in a matter of seconds after plummeting down the slide at speeds of more than 100km per hour. If the thought of Insano makes your stomach churn, the water park is also home to a dozen other rides and two wave pools. Entrance costs £41pp. beachpark.com.br

Aquatica, US

It’s all about the underwater world at Seaworld’s Aquatica water park in Orlando. The most popular ride here, Dolphin Plunge, has you whisked through an aquarium full of black-andwhite Commerson’s dolphins. And that’s not all – lay back and relax as the Loggerhead Lane lazy river transports you underneath a tunnel of tropical fish. Not thrilling enough? Then race against your mates on the eightlane Taumata Racer to satisfy your need for speed. Entrance costs £35pp.

Douro Palace hotel and spa Overview If you were to hit the big time, and suddenly find yourself with a couple of million quid to spend on a glamorous European getaway pad, you’d probably want it to look a lot like the Douro Palace in Portugal. It’s set on a green cliff, overlooking the Douro River in Baião province, and through the hotel windows, practically all you can see are vineyards and forests. The white, minimalist building is strikingly modern in a region where many of the hotels and resorts tend to have a more rustic, heritage look. The hotel’s Restaurante Eça serves some interesting regional dishes, and there’s a choice of three bars for an after-dinner tipple or two. Rooms The layouts of the rooms are a little odd, with all the furnishings facing in the same direction, towards the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. But everything becomes clear in the morning, when the early-hours views over the rolling hills are simply unbeatable. Bill please Double rooms, including breakfast, are priced from £80pn.

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Vibrant: Marrakech’s Djemaa el Fna has even more of a buzz than usual at night during Ramadan

RICHARD HANSON Managing Director Trek America

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READERS’ TIPS ON AFRICA Meroe pyramids, Sudan

EARLY BIRD Get as many tourist visas as possible while in the UK, as the application process for some African countries (especially Sudan) is notoriously tricky. Rob Olson, via email FREE FOR ALL Beware of anyone offering you something for free as it’s probably a scam. If you’re getting a service you’ll have to pay, so negotiate a rate early. Sunny Tanker, via email

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visit Marrakech, since Muslims are fasting during daylight hours. It’s often considered a difficult time to visit as there is a reduced availability of services before the sun goes down but, in fact, the religious period offers a very different insight into Muslim culture and can be a fascinating time to explore the city. You’ll find that the streets come alive at night, as those fasting gather for their meals. The two night time meals during Ramadan are lftar in the evening and

Sahur just before sunrise. You will find light displays, music and sweets being offered to mark the lftar feasts, which often last for hours and anyone is welcome to join. Be aware it will be as hot as 40°C there in July. Once you’ve seen the main sights, including the winding souks and Djemma el Fna, you could head to the south Atlantic beaches where offshore winds will give you some respite from the heat. The coast is around four hours by bus from the city, so I’d recommend you stay overnight. Tourist resorts such as Agadir will still have a decent provision of services during the Ramadan period, and along this stretch of coast you will find surf breaks and great beaches. Don’t forget that while tourists are not expected to observe Ramadan, it is respectful not to eat, smoke or drink in public.

Top tips for first time travellers? Plan ahead. Alaska is bigger, more remote and more challenging than you imagine. Remember you’re in a wilderness where weather conditions change in an instant. Secret off the tourist trail spot? My favourite spot is McCarthy in Wrangell-St Elias National Park – you can climb on glaciers up sheer walls of ice. It’s a massive adrenaline rush. Any preparation advice? Don’t cut corners. Pretty early on I ventured out into the wilds of Denali without much more than a poncho and a bag full of tins of beans. Needless to say, we were embarrassingly unprepared and I nearly died from hypothermia!

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Following his nose: Félicien the pig leads the tour

[Caption]

Oosteeklo

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Leafy: Oosteeklo’s a rural gem with (left) great beer and chocs 68

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Common scent: Félicien sniffs out his next turn

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Pigging out From mind-bendingly strong beers to bizarre pig-guided village walks, rural Flanders in north Belgium is a surreal destination Words Orlando Crowcroft

A group of a dozen tourists clutching cameras amble down a dusty farm track in pursuit of a grunting, 45-stone pig. Up front is our quintessential Belgian farmer, Etienne, wielding a branch and occasionally prodding his four-year-old hog, Félicien, away from a nearby electric fence but, otherwise, letting her lead the way. “It is very important that we let her decide the route,” whispers Gottfried, our guide and the inventor of this quirkiest of tourist attractions here in Oosteeklo, the rural heartland of Dutch-speaking northern Belgium. Belgium is famous for a few things – beer, chocolate and waffles among them – but with the trendy cities of Brussels and Bruges a short train ride from London, Oosteeklo has struggled to persuade tourists to make the trek into the wilds of the rural region of Flanders. Gottfried, a former furniture salesman turned tour guide, is doing his bit with this pig walk, inspired in the beginning by a mysterious, erotic painting by eccentric Belgian artist Félicien Rops, which shows a naked woman walking a pig on a length of rope while blindfolded. The village tour can last between 10 minutes and four hours, but it depends entirely on Félicien – the pig, not the painter. “On one trip she just laid down in the road after 10 minutes. She just said: ‘Enough is enough.’ So we all went home,” Gottfried recalls. In the event that Félicien does feel like being a diva, there are plenty of other things to do in Flanders, both in the village of Oosteeklo and in the nearby cities of Mechelen and Tielt – most of these revolve around the region’s more famous product, its beer. Belgians always seem to greet British ale with an amused detachment that often comes across as snobbery, but a trip to a Belgian brewery suggests a more simple reason – it’s simply not strong enough. I find this out swiftly when our group visit Mechelen’s Gouden Carolus brewery, which has been producing beer since 1471. We’re taken on a tour through the various processing rooms, past the enormous copper kettles that hold hundreds of litres of the stuff. Our guide, Wannes, laughs when I defensively tell him that in England real ale can be as strong as six per cent. He points to bottles of their Lucifer brew, a dark ale at eight per cent alcohol content, and the Golden Draak, at a shocking 10 per cent. I try the Lucifer at the end of the tour, and find it

rich and chocolately, but a bit too overpowering for my tastes. The reason for the little European glasses that in Britain we regard with such disdain suddenly becomes clear – it’s more of a necessity than a preference. Equally, Belgian beer tastings can become fairly raucous events. “Belgian beer is the best in the world, there is no argument on that,” explains brewery guide Peter. “But you can see why

“

A few pints could do you serious damage

”

we don’t drink pints,” he chortles, pointing to the dreaded Lucifer on display behind us. “Can you imagine me after four or five pints of that?” Overindulgence was one of the reasons the Gouden Carolus ›› brewery converted its old storage block into a hotel,

Discerning? How not to enjoy Belgium’s fine brews tntMagazine.com

allowing zealous beer aficionados to stumble a mere 50 metres to bed. That said, Peter says a lot of visitors still don’t make it that far, passing out somewhere between the bar and the steps to the hotel. Oosteeklo is also home to Huisbrouwerij Den Tseut, where local brewers Stefan de Decker and his wife, Ria Daneels, are always keen to welcome tired pig-walkers in need of some hoppy refreshment. Den Tseut’s four ales are only for sale here in Oosteeklo, and one of them, thankfully, is a light(ish) pilsner, easier to handle in the countryside heat. As we drink in the sunshine of Stefan’s leafy garden, Gottfried tells us what a success his pet project has been. “We’re expecting double the amount of visitors this year,” he says proudly. “But do you think we could have 10,000 people doing this? Absolutely not. Félicien would not allow it.” ❚ Orlando travelled courtesy of Fish and Chips. projectfishandchips.eu Check out Goudin Carolus Brewery hetanker.be Pig walks can be arranged through PLC Meetjesland by contacting Sven De Wever (sven.de.wever@plattelandscentrum.be). Cost is £15.50 per person and must be booked in groups of 15.

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Light refreshment: Den Tseut ales

Next week Switzerland: TNT goes river rafting and bear spotting

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It seems wrong to recommend an Irish pub in the middle of a Belgian city, but O’Fiach’s in Mechelen, the nearest large city to Oosteeklo, is not as much an Irish bar as a cheap(ish) place to eat and drink in an expensive locale. Mains from £3.

Offering gourmet ‘bar bites’ as well as full sit down meals, Passade is a trendy Mechelen spot. When the weather’s nice, grab a seat on the sun-soaked terrace for some drinks before dinner.

In the heart of Mechelen, amidst the buzzing nightlife of the central square, Den Beer Brasserie (above) is an authentic, if slightly pricey, option for tasting traditional Belgian fare. Mains from £15.

passade.be

denbeerbrasserie.be

ofiachs.be

drink

Situated in Mechelen, close to the banks of the river, Het Anker (attached to Gouden Carolus brewery), left, has dozens of beers available for tasting along with the brewery tours. Beers from £3. hetanker.be

A trip to Huisbrouwerij Den Tseut brewery usually comes as part of a pig tour, but anyone who makes an appointment is welcome to drop in to Stefan and Ria’s garden for a few bottles of Den Tseut in the sun. Beers from £2. huisbrouwerijdentseut. weebly.com

A quiet, clean bed and breakfast in the city of Tielt, Bo Maison (left) is close to the French border and a good jumping-off point for exploring western Flanders. Rooms start from £60pn. bomaison.be/en

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A stone’s throw from its brewery and bar, Goudin Carolus has 22 rooms and serves as a fantastic base on the outskirts of the city. Rooms start from £70pn. hetanker.be

Built in a converted monastery, Het Godshius (meaning, fairly presumptuously, home of the gods) is a modern hotel in a quiet village a short drive from Oosteeklo. Rooms start from £90pn. godshuis.be

Photos: Orlando Crowcroft, Thinkstock, Getty

sleep

Stillen Genieter, a tiny little beer bar in the centre of the town, is known for its cosy atmosphere and massive range of more than 300 beers. The owner is known to march to the beat of his own drum with opening times, so call first. Beers between £1-£5. (Nauwstraat 9, 2800 Mechelen; tel. +32 1521 9504)

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No Dumbo: African elephants are one of the Big Five

egypt

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GETTING THERE Fly from London Heathrow to Windhoek, Namibia, via Johannesburg, for ÂŁ997 return with British Airways. ba.com

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East Africa overland From cliff-top monasteries for men only to close encounters with hyenas, a trip along the continent’s east coast is one hell of a ride Words Oliver Robinson

“Gentlemen, we have company,” I announce as calmly as anyone sat six feet away from a hyena can. I’m here drinking with my two travel buddies around a campfire in the Okavango Delta, Botswana, when I spot the pair of silver eyes staring at me from across the campfire. Before we can scarper to our roof tent, our unwelcome dinner guest is chased away by a laughing six-year-old boy. The boy’s father is in quick pursuit – not in fear for his son’s safety, but to egg him on. It turns out that the hyenas have become so used to campers at this site – and vice versa – they visit regularly to scavenge for scraps. We don’t take any chances and lock ourselves in the car for the night. We’re in the middle of an 11-week road trip along the east coast of Africa which, somewhat unconventionally, we begin in Windhoek, Namibia. We choose this western starting point so we can hire wheels from Foley Specialist Vehicles, who service Land Rover Defenders specifically for driving across the continent. And, conveniently for three guys with no gear (and not much of an idea), they provide us with everything from camping equipment to tools and spares, as well as insurance and vehicle carnets (a requisite document for border crossings). All we’re left to worry about now is driving the entire length of Africa… Dunes to deltas We’re told that Swakopmund, Namibia, is a favourite holiday destination for South Africans and Germans (it only gained independence from the former in 1990 and was a colony of the latter until the end of World War I). But when we arrive it’s all but empty. Not that this bothers us – we’d planned to spend just one night in this surreal seaside town en route to Dune 45 in the Namib-Naukluft National Park. At 170 metres high, Dune 45 is more mountain than dune, and when we finally arrive its grandeur is accentuated by the strong winds that whip across the surface. It’s as if the dune is on fire – an image that leaves an indelible mark in my memory. The border crossing from Namibia to South Africa is relatively hassle-free, and much as we’d have liked to spend some time in the country’s wine region, stocking up on Chablis, we’re working to a strict time frame, and speed onwards towards Botswana. First stop: Okavango Delta,

a haven of wildlife and big game, which we plan to see first-hand by means of a DIY safari. By DIY, I mean cobbling together the entrance fee for the Moremi National Park and driving through its dense undergrowth and swampland in the hope of seeing an elephant or two … what could possibly go wrong? Quite a lot, actually, but it helps that there’s a convoy of Land Rovers just ahead of us, which we follow through some of the Delta’s deeper water traps. Driving unassisted through this sort of terrain is, in itself, an amazing experience. We pass a handful of giraffes, minding their own business as they graze on buds and shrubs, as well as a few romping zebras, but none of the ‘Big Five’. A little disappointed, we agree to head back to camp, when our attention is caught as the undergrowth up ahead begins to fizz with movement. After a minute or so, an enormous bull elephant emerges, followed by his herd – a hulking collage of elephants of all sizes. We sit in silence as the endless parade ambles across our path. We’d waited all day to see an elephant, and are now dumbstruck, watching the hundreds that make up the plodding grey convoy for the best part of an hour. DO IT: Dune 45 in Namibia is five hours’ drive from Swakopmund, along the C14/B2 highways. Entrance to Moremi Park starts at £80pp. mewt.gov.bw Market time After a month or so of driving and intermittent safari, we’re craving some respite from the car, and make a beeline to Zanzibar, Tanzania. We take a two-hour ferry ride across the choppy waters between Dar Es Salaam and Zanzibar island before stumbling into Stone Town, just as the sun begins to set. It may be the end of the day, but the bustling night market has just kick-started into action. Still laden with our rucksacks, we stumble through the hubbub of activity, mesmerised by the sights, the shouts of hawkers selling their wares, and the smell of barbecued fish and meat. It’s so atmospheric, I could have wandered the narrow, winding streets of this old part of the city for weeks. DO IT: Azam Marine, Tanzania, operates a ferry service from Dar Es Salaam to Zanzibar, tickets from £23pp. azammarine.com ›› tntMagazine.com

Paradise: picture-perfect Zanzibar

No girls allowed The most testing stretch of road we encounter runs from Marsabit, northern Kenya, into Ethiopia. Not only is its surface better suited to a mountain goat than a four-wheel drive, but it’s a renowned stomping ground for outlaw highwaymen. We’re advised only to travel in convoy, but there’s a problem with that – there are no groups travelling on the day we plan to depart. Regardless, we put our foot to the floor and, after a nerve-wracking day of driving through bandit country, we arrive in Ethiopia. The 1430km Northern Circuit, which starts in the capital Addis Ababa, is a popular route with road-trippers. Enjoying the smooth, empty roads (courtesy of massive Chinese investment in the country), we marvel at the rock-hewn churches of Lalibela and the fallen obelisks. But our most memorable stop on the Northern Circuit is Debre Damo, a men-only cliff-top monastery (even livestock has to be male, in an attempt to further dissuade monks from friskiness). As I dangle midway up the rock face, suspended by nothing more than a rope held by a skinny man at the top of the cliff (this being the only way up), I begin to regret visiting this particular site of cultural interest. But after a moment’s brief panic, I continue my ascent and arrive at the monastery’s threshold, bones unbroken. The complex’s buildings are a wash of green, yellow and red, a colourful contrast to the desolate, arid landscape. The views from the top of the cliff are so engaging it’s clear why the monks spend their days gazing over the rugged terrain. After perusing the grounds, we’re ushered into a small dark room by a goblin-like man, who shows us the ancient manuscripts and copies of the Bible that have resided in this 74

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Grand: the dunes of Namibia monastery for centuries. For the privilege we’re then asked for money and are told we won’t be lowered down from the cliff until we pay. Begrudgingly, we hand over $10. DO IT: Debre Damo monastery, Ethiopia, lies 12 hours’ drive north of Addis and about 50km west of Adigrat, the last stop on Route 1 before turning west onto Route 15. Follow the road to Bizet, and keep an eye out for the turn-off to Debre Damo on the right. ››

Men only: the Debre Damo clifftop monastery

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Oliver Robinson

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05/07/2013 14:06:35

Go hard; get home Inconveniently, the only overland route from Sudan to Egypt is via a once-a-week ferry. Worse still, the ferry does not operate during the month-long religious holiday of Eid, which is why we’ve been camped in Sudan Desert, just outside Wadi Halfa, for two weeks. A desolate backwater of a town, it resembles the moonbase Mos Eisley from Star Wars – in short, it feels like the end of the world. Needless to say, with nothing to do other than wait and eat falafel, the unity of our triumvirate is put under severe strain. Luckily, the ferry arrives before one of us commits bloody murder, and we spend a night gently floating towards Aswan, Egypt – which we find is a haven of McDonald’s and, importantly, places to get beer. These luxuries tide us over until our car arrives. Then it’s a mad dash through Egypt, Libya, Tunisia and Europe, before dropping off our trusty Land Rover at the Foley garage in Essex. It took 79 days, which I think isn’t bad going until I remember the overland record from Cape to Cairo is 11 days, 14 hours and 11 minutes. But where’s the fun in that? DO IT: The Sudan to Egypt ferry should be booked through a fixer. Try Mr Mahir (mashansharti@yahoo.com). ❚

OVERLAND: NEED TO KNOW Vaccinations A yellow fever jab (and the documentation to prove it) are essential, as are malaria tablets. fitfortravel.nhs.uk Vehicle hire A fully equipped Land Rover Defender for a five-month Cape Town to London journey costs £12,000 from Foley Specialist Vehicles foleysv.com Get under the bonnet City of Westminster College offers car maintenance courses for £300. Invest – you won’t regret it. cwc.ac.uk Overland bus If you’re not keen to go it alone, try the many overland tourist truck companies instead. Dragoman Overland is one of the NEXT WEEK more established. dragoman.com Backpacking vs flashpacking: The top spots

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LA TOMATINA BUNOL 28TH AUG

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. time I’ll be outnumbered by old English drunkards without jobs – that’s who is in pubs during the day – it might be nice to have the occasional day off having to tear them a new one with my choice sledging. Cheers, Hal OFF COLOUR : To the crazy lass (I think your name was Ginny?) liberally coated in orange spray tan with sick in your hair and ripped tights by the end of the night – don’t worry about my shoes and well done for matching the lads pint for pint. Hope your recovery went alright. 10 outta 10 for effort. Dave and the beer fairies A BIT CHEESY : See you all at the top of Primrose Hill this Sunday arvo for an epic game of cheese rolling – we’re gonna chase those waxy li’l mini Babybells down the hill all the way to Regent’s Park and cause some chaos for the picnic poshos. Be there around midday. Sherry and Jeffo GOT MILK? : To the girl I met after a long drinking sesh last weekend on the The Tattershall Castle beer boat – I can’t remember your name but you had a wicked smile and a really dumb T-shirt with cats on it. Let’s sail away somewhere together. Not on the beer boat though, don’t think they’d let us. See you there same time next week? Kev G WHERE’S BEER-Y : Wallies, an utterly piss-weak showing at the pub last week. Time to sort your shit out and decide whether you want to be in a social volleyball team or not. What do we have if not beer (cider or wine if you must)? Mick

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MR RIGHT NOW : I’m looking BAD LOOK : Gavin, they’re not BRUSH BLUSH: To my dear ‘haters’, they’re really not. They for a lady who’s less rich and plump British beauties, my name definitely don’t hate you, they just intelligent than me but a lot better is Jerrido and I am a painter think you look ridiculous. And, looking. I can bring ultra-hairiness from El Salvador. I have come to objectively, aesthetically, they’re and a nice house in Kent to the your delicate island to paint its right. I know your break-up with table – just thought I’d tell it like it Rubenesque womenfolk, but all Jen was tough, but a leopard-print is for a change. Do I sound like your the ‘models’ who have responded haircut, silver bell-bottoms and Day sort of guy? Get in touch. Laurence to my ads so far have been Glo ponchos are not the way to YOU, ME, B1, B2 : Darren, disappointing – even the great deal with it. From everyone was great to meet you last Friday. Cézanne could not coax beauty ONE-PAC : To all the club Would be keen to see you again from these narcissistic ironing promoters and hip-hop producers but, and this is a little awkward, boards. I need contours, sweeps, out there, meet me. I’m Dennis, did you take my pyjamas when undulations, not angles and points. Size 20 and over please. Love me Things the Queen should do before she dies LAUGHABLE : I am desperately seeking someone who has a proper sense of humour. Too many people take one look at me and laugh inexplicably. They see my fashion sense – corduroy and sandals – and burst into hysterical fits of laughter, for some reason. And they never ever laugh at my jokes either. What is wrong with people? Does no one SAVE OUR out there have a proper sense of #535 SNAKEBITES! humour? If you do, get in touch. Andre 3013 Use her royal veto to stop the She-Bu Walkie from becoming apartments GIVE IT A ROLL : Does anyone out there share my love of the a rapper, and I’ve been practising you left? With the yellow elephant hallowed burrito? I am looking for my rapping for five years. I have all pattern on the bottoms? I can’t a companion to take on a burrito the words to Gangster’s Paradise find them anywhere. Either way challenge/exploration of London. I it’s fine, but I’d like them back. Call covered and I don’t even have to want to find the best, hottest, most me. Carrie listen to the backing track. If you filling burrito out there. Those with SKY’S MY LIMIT : Cricket fans, would like me to perform at your big bellies need only apply. Westie disco or would like to work with me a bit of a weird request. Do you EURO-THRASH : I am seeking have Sky – in particular the sports on original material, please get in prospective future bandmates. I channels? Are you Australian? Do touch. Dennis out love ABBA and Slayer, so am keen you mind someone you don’t know GETTING FRESH : Attention to find musos who do too, for coming around to watch the Ashes James, I know you read this section an instrumental project that will on the days I’m too hungover to and have trouble picking up on perform Waterloo and Reign In face a pub? It’s going to be epic, signals – you’re totally frigging but at the bar from 11am to 6pm, useless if I’m honest. So how Blood in a medley of Scandinavian umpires required five days in a row, may even be about this? Me, you and a bottle Europop, thrash metal heaven. competitive rates apply beyond me. And given most of the of shampoo. Yeah? Vee Do you have the skills? Sven

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