1560 by TNT Magazine

July 22-28 2013 Issue 1560 tntmagazine.com

SECRET SURF: SOUTH AFRICA Catching waves and cage diving with crocs

FRINGE FEST IN CAMDEN Robots! Karaoke! Infidelity! Thatcher!

HUGH JACKMAN ON WOLVERINE The star talks samurais and neck-breaking stunts

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11/07/2013 10:10:49

LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Julian Assange is probably the most famous Australian in the world right now, and easily the most controversial. And just when you thought his story couldn’t get any stranger – he’s been living in London’s Ecuadorian Embassy for a year, after all – he announced an intention to run for the Australian Senate. TNT sat down with Assange to find out what his attempt at entry into Aussie politics means for you. He tells us he’s “an expression of Australian culture”. Turn to P48 to see if you agree.

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Catch 180 cracking shows over 17 venues at north London’s Camden Fringe Festival

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Extreme sports to dangerous getaways – be inspired by our adventure special

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Editorial Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Contributor Caroline Garnar

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Birthday bash: Ash Grunwald headlines TNT’s 30th blowout

Shhh... SECRET LONDON tnt 30th birthday party koko

Your favourite weekly mag and indispensable travel bible celebrates its 30th birthday this year, and to make sure it goes off we’re throwing a very special bash this week at Camden’s Koko. Ash Grunwald, Matthew P, Polly Money and Melic will be taking to the stage to deliver the tunes, and there will be loads of exclusive for-this-night-only travel prizes and giveaways, including a Topdeck Travel voucher, an Oktoberfest trip for two, Busabout flexitrips, and tickets to Twickenham, Sandown Park and CircoLoco. See you there! £25

July 28, 5pm-11pm NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent

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tnt bowled over party

cider dog festival

zidane and mogwai – live

Celebrate the summer sun at TNT’s annual lawn bowls party. There will be a bowls tournament from 1pm, Bodean’s BBQ from 2pm-4pm, plus top-class entertainment and DJs to keep you partying until the small hours. There’s also an ‘Old Timers’ fancy dress theme – so come along decked out like your nana!

Relaunched pub The Miller is holding this real ale, cider and perry fest hosting more than 50 tipples for you to sample, including all of London’s microbreweries such as Kernel, Partizan and Sambrook. For eats, the Street Kitchen fellas – who are in residency here – will be serving up their ace dogs ‘n’ slaw, too.

Aug 11, from 11am Southwark Sports Bowls Club, West Dulwich SE21 7EU tntmagazine.com/bowledover

July 27, 12pm-1am 96 Snowsfields Road, SE1 3SS London Bridge themiller.co.uk

What do Glaswegian instrumentalists Mogwai and firebrand yet supremely talented retired footballer Zinedine Zidane have in common? They’re both at the Barbican tonight, sort of, as the former play a live score to the footy art installation and movie, Zidane, A 21st Century Portrait about the headbutt-loving Frenchman.

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TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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July 26, 7pm Barbican, EC2Y 8DS Barbican barbican.org.uk

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Amen: indispensable rules to backpacking

THURSDAY NIGHT RUGBY LEAGUE at The Twickenham Stoop

A-Z of backpacking fringe preview Angel

Seasoned traveller Jody Kamali distills his eight years of solo backpacking around the world into this indispensable and hilarious guide to what to do and not to do when out on the road. Meditating in caves and getting high on Guatemalan chocolate with a shaman feature alongside hostel etiquette advice. This is Jody’s seventh Fringe show – the avid traveller is also a member of circus cabaret troupe Le Flop. £3

July 24, 7.30pm The Wenlock And Essex, N1 8LN

Thursday August 1st, kick-off 8:00pm at the Twickenham Stoop, TW2 7SX londonbroncosrl.com

wenlockandessex.com

park it in the market

we love the 90s film festival

The famous covered market in Greenwich has been running since the 14th century in one form or another, and boasts a wealth of special events throughout this summer. One of the most eyecatching is this classic car and bike meet, where proud owners show off their machines from yesteryear.

Four cult flicks from the Nineties – Janet Jackson-starring Poetic Justice, Alicia Silverstone’s Clueless, Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes’ ace White Men Can’t Jump and the ultimate House Party – will be screening alongside Nineties cine-snacks for a full retro experience.

July 25, 7.30pm-11pm Greenwich Market, SE10 9HZ Cutty Sark shopgreenwich.co.uk

July 25-28, 7pm Portobello Pop-Up, W10 5TY Ladbroke Grove teesandcees. org/welovethe90sfilmfest

FREE

Photos: Getty

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ON THE NIGHT Steel band ts Fire breathers & acroba nge Selco half time challe

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19/07/2013 17:21:42

Bed head: Rosie Wilby looks into the future of monogamy

Cheat on Edinburgh The eighth Camden Fringe is about to unleash a month of comedy, dance, theatre and music. Here’s what not to miss Words alasdair morton If you want to catch some top new comedy or theatre, but can’t make it up to Edinburgh, then you’d do well to check out this year’s other Fringe festival, right here in London. The eighth annual Camden Fringe from July 29 to August 25 has more than 180 productions across 17 venues, taking in comedy, dance, theatre and music – sometimes within the one show. At the fest Rosie Wilby will unveil her new production, Is Monogamy Dead?, in which she peels back her bedclothes to look at what really goes on in our relationships. “There was a whole swathe of break ups among [my] friends, some triggered by infidelity, some by a desire for more freedom, and there were lots of new books which appeared to be rewriting the rules I’d had instilled in me [about relationships],” Wilby says of the inspiration behind her new act. “Some were advocating open relationships and polygamy, some affairs, and some were saying changing your partner every two to three years may lead to greater happiness than a life-long commitment – it was a bit of a mind bender!” 6

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Her show looks at how relationships play out in the 21st century, how we view right and wrong differently and, more importantly, the realities of how we really behave. Clue: right and wrong is rarely reflected in people’s actual behaviour. Carrying out an anonymous online survey about cheating, Wilby’s findings are surprising, too. “Most couples had not even discussed their respective boundaries,” she says, adding that none of us seem to agree on what constitutes infidelity. “Some people think merely thinking about someone else is a betrayal!” The notion of monogamy is a far more recent social construct than we might have thought, too. “Historically, people used to marry one partner for practical and economic reasons and then have romantic lovers on the side,” she points out. If relationship-challenging comedy cuts a little too close to the bone, then the Camden Fringe has plenty more shows up its sleeve ready to take you in other directions, such as Geoff Williams’ play Trapped In Abstraction. “It began with my philosophical

interest in the fact we’re all rather isolated in our own heads but feel able to relate to and understand other people,” co-writer and star Williams says of his brain-befuddling work. Abstraction is all set inside his own mind and the struggles between him and the voice – named the ‘circus master’ – within his head. It’s “the voice of conscience, antagonism and social conformity,” he explains. “I wondered what an autobiographical piece might have to offer someone other than me, like: why are we at all interested in finding out about other people’s lives and why are celebrities the only people allowed to tell stories about themselves?” “I’ve been assured I am not insane,” Williams hastens to add. “So you don’t have to worry.” Worried? Us? No way. Intrigued? You better believe it! MORE UNMISSABLE CAMDEN FRINGE ›› Is Monogamy Dead? Jul 29. £7. Camden Head, NW1 0LU. Trapped In Abstraction, Jul 29 & 30. £7. Camden People’s Theatre, NW1 camdenfringe.com 2PY Camden Town

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One love: Wilby is among 180 acts performing

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19/07/2013 13:12:35

amy howerska: the only jew in swansea camden head

sarah heenan: how to run the country camden head

Amy Howerska (below) is a PolishIrish-Catholic-Jew, who was raised in Wales, and this show chronicles the trials and tribulations of such a culturally eclectic upbringing. It is also, as Howerska herself says, “really deep and shit”. And, we presume, more than a little funny, too.

This truly diverse show spans from 1979 to 1990, sort of, from a girl running around the playground shouting, “girls are better than boys” up to said girl’s grown-up role 11 years later in the Thatchersparked Poll Tax riots. Heenan puts herself amid these events in a highly inventive show. She wonders what Maggie would have to say about all of this, expressing herself as she does through song, of course. A new spin on the Iron Lady’s legacy?

£7.50

Aug 3 & 4, 5pm 100 Camden High Street, NW1 0LU Camden Town camdenhead.com

£6

Natalie Gray: death by karaoke Camden Head The Camden Fringe incorporates comedy, music and theatre and Gray seems to have taken this to heart and thrown the holy trinity into her own show. She peeks behind the scenes to look at the fragility of the human mind and the issues and events which can cause it to run off its rails. For her, this is the titular karaoke machine, rolled out here in a hilariously life-affirming show. £7.50

Aug 4-6, 6.30pm NW1 0LU Camden Town

camdenhead.com

the wrong side of right phoenix artist club Danielle Meehan is an actress from Lewisham, east London, who gives this ultrahilarious first-hand account of what life is like when you are trying to make it in the acting business. The real experience behind auditions and what happens on the infamous casting couch. £8

fawlty towers – the dinner show the forge Basil, Sybil and Manuel line up in this live and interactive as-you-dine tribute to the iconic Seventies sitcom, starring John Cleese as the hapless owner of a British seaside hotel where everything that could go wrong, went wrong – all the time. So things you might reasonably be able to expect from this full evening of entertainment include visits from the health inspector, arguments over the war, and, probably, Manuel getting hit over the head. £8

Aug 13-15, 7.30pm 3-7 Delancey Street, NW1 7NL Camden Town forgevenue.org

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Aug 4-8, 6.30pm 1 Phoenix Street, WC2H 8BU Tottenham Court Road phoenixartistclub.com

abrador: have you ever tried it? collection theatre Cabaret, theatre, music and circus as old songs get an update from the Abrador Trio. £10

Aug 1-3, 8.30pm Upstairs at Lord Stanley Pub, Camden Road NW1 9BH theatrecollection.net

Aug 5-7, 9.30pm NW1 0LU Camden Town camdenhead.com

richard coughlan: eat a queer foetus 4 jesus the sheephaven bay Coughlan brings his raucous and visceral stand-up show – which wowed at the Edinburgh and Brighton Fringe fest last year – to Camden. It clearly pushes the boundaries – as the name suggests – and he’s not afraid of calling it like he sees it. If you’re easily offended or empty-headed, best give this one a miss. £5

Aug 6 & 7, 9pm 2 Mornington Street, NW1 7QD Mornington Crescent sheephavenbaycamden.co.uk

the belly dancer etcetera theatre This contemporary show (right) sets out to change your perceptions about belly dancing. £8.50

Aug 9-11, 6pm NW1 7BU Camden Town etceteratheatre.com

MJ Hibbett (& Steve): Total Hero Team camden head The two-man team who brought you such deliciously offbeat musicals Dinosaur Planet and Hey Hey 16K unveil their new production featuring superheroes, robots, pirates and kittens, and no small amount of silliness, of course. Did we mention it was more than a little unhinged? £5

Aug 23 & 24, 8pm 100 Camden High Street, NW1 0LU Camden Town camdenhead.com

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19/07/2013 13:12:37

an insomniac’s guide to ambulances london jewish cultural centre

not the brontËs: truly, madly, keighley camden head Three Yorkshire lasses – from the titular northern town – sing songs and perform sketches and the odd spoken word offering in this wide-ranging show that promises zany laughs and even the reason as to how Jesus ended up in a chip shop in Whitby. Weirdly wonderful. £7.50

Aug 25, 8pm NW1 0LU Camden Town camdenhead.com

Hot new talent Rachel Creeger’s production is about paramedic Leo, who has had insomnia since a university accident, and learns a little about himself with each pupil he meets while teaching student EMTs (emergency medicine technicians). Gripping. £12

too cool to care etcetera theatre Lolie Ware’s one-woman show illustrates that in life, there is much truth to the saying, “If you don’t laugh you’ll cry!” In this autobiographical show she talks about her life as a carer, how you must be SAS-trained in patience, irony, loneliness and laughter to get by, and the time her mother got arrested by the police for carrying a ‘deadly weapon’ that was actually a little crown made of paper.

Aug 11-15, 8.30pm Ivy House, NW11 7SX Golders Green ljcc.org.uk

£8.50

Jul 29-Aug 1, 9pm NW1 7BU Camden Town

etceteratheatre.com

the murderettes phoenix artist club sameena Zehra: tea with terrorists dandelion Comedian, singer and storyteller Zehra performs this one-woman show that discusses religion and politics and what it was like growing up a UK-raised Kashmiri before moving back to her parents’ home nation, where she had to try to fit in – an atheist liberal in a religious family and country. She recounts such experiences as having planned the perfect murder, going for a stroll outside the Kashmiri Green Zone, and arguing with a group of mullahs, as well as the aforementioned boiled water beverage with the terrorists.

Photos: Steve Ullathorne

£8

Aug 2-3; 15-17; 22-24, 8.30pm 96 Parkway, NW1 7AN Camden Town sameenazehra.com

Like a you-choose murder mystery, this highly inventive night uses story suggestions from the audience to influence the murder that The Murderettes – Peter Edwards, Matt Jones, Martin McCartney and Eve Truszkowska – will then go on to commit. £9

Aug 18-20, 7pm (Aug 18, 4pm also) 1 Phoenix Street, WC2H 8BU Tottenham Court Road phoenixartistclub.com

eight Upstairs at the Gatehouse Eight monologues each lasting 10 minutes make up this work about the youth of today and the associated misconceptions and prejudices. £12

Aug 2-4, times vary N6 4BD Highate upstairsatthegatehouse.com

simon Feilder: all the things I’m not etcetera theatre Comedian Feilder (left) aims to get to the bottom of all the things in life that he isn’t – manly, French – in this hour of stand-up, overhead projections and, maybe, an odd song or two. £7

Aug 24 & 25, 6pm 265 Camden High Street, NW1 7BU Camden Town etceteratheatre.com

plumpkin: two heads are better than one etcetera theatre Daily routines such as making a cuppa or getting dressed feature in this endearingly staged show (right). Sweet choreography and contemporary clowning. £8.50

Aug 23-25, 3pm 265 Camden High Street, NW1 7BU Camden Town etceteratheatre.com

richard tyronejones: what the fuck is this? etcetera theatre Mr Tyrone Jones is a writer and performer (his last show, Big Heart, was about the heart failure he got on his 30th birthday) and also the director of Utter! spoken word company. This Fringe offering sees him assault the audience by saying “What the fuck is this?” for an hour to a cornucopia of stimuli, including slides, and monotremes. If this sounds a little weird to you then you’re not alone. £7.50

July 29-31, 10.30pm NW1 7BU Camden Town RichardTyroneJones.com

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19/07/2013 13:12:40

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City value: no need for choice with cheap pints

PUB

Samuel Smith’s pubs are a god-send for most Londoners – where else can you drink in central London and get change from a tenner for four pints? The sacrifice you make is choice, but rest assured, choice is overrated. There’s a labyrinthine interior in the Princess Louise in Holborn, with tiny side rooms and long, tiled corridors giving it genuine character, and not saleable off-the-shelf character that pervades in many of the capital’s tourist-trap pubs. The bar is an expansive loop which splits the drinking cubbies. We’re joined halfway through our pints of refreshing Alpine lager by the Shakespearean actor David Bradley, better known to young audiences as Filch from Harry Potter, for a swift one. THE GRUB It no longer serves bar food, but there’s a good selection of snacks – might I recommend the superb pork scratchings? THE SCENE

It’s Samuel Smith’s only. For discerning drinkers, their Organic lager is a fine pint. But the Alpine is good, too, and the Taddy lager is tasty and light. The bitters err on the traditional side, meaning more robust numbers such as Porter, Stingo and Nut Brown. BILL PLEASE Among the cheapest pints in the capital. A pint of Taddy will set you back just £2.45 and the ales are cheaper still. Wine from £2.75. VERDICT There are few places more dripping with unaffected charm. OLI JONES BEHIND THE BAR

208 High Holborn, WC1V 7EP

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DUKE’S BREW AND QUE

3 OF THE BEST SOUTHERN BBQ

This Haggerston gem is so damn cool it belongs in Brooklyn. Wash down ribs and pulled pork sliders with the awesome US craft beer selection – make ours an Anchor Porter, please! dukesbrewandque.com

A revolutionary new concept in seafood dining, sourcing the best sustainable fish on a daily basis from our own fisheries in Cornwall and encouraging you to create your own dish

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PITT CUE CO. A small Soho spot with only 30 seats, hence its annoying no reservations policy. Queue and you will be rewarded, however, with sticky ribs, own-made pork scratchings and cocktails that go heavy on the bourbon. pittcue.co.uk

JOE’S SOUTHERN KITCHEN & BAR Covent Garden gets a taste of the Deep South with this joint doling out slow-cooked ribs, beer can chicken and pulled pork, plus classic sides from collard greens to mac ‘n’ cheese and cornbread. joessouthernkitchen.co.uk

4 Inverness Street, Camden Town, London NW1 7HJ info@simplyfish.com | 020 7482 2977

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19/07/2013 17:19:39

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19/07/2013 09:28:49

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A HOLIDAY & SPENDING MONEY WORTH OVER £1,000 FROM KALIXA PAY! We’ve teamed up with Kalixa Pay to bring you this fantastic prize, including travel vouchers from shortbreakvouchers.co.uk worth £500 and valid for a year, as well as £500 spending money to take with you … all loaded and ready to go on your Kalixa Pay prepaid MasterCard. Kalixa Pay prepaid MasterCard provides a simple solution to spending both at home and abroad. With zero foreign exchange fees, transaction charges or commission, and the most competitive rates on the market, Kalixa Pay allows you to top up with one currency and spend in any country. Ideal for travelling, it’s perfect for anyone looking for a flexible and secure

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19/07/2013 17:27:14

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BITE SIZE

Oh la la!: just like Raymond Blanc’s mum used to make

flippin’ elk! It’s all about the outdoor beer garden right now, and one of our favourites is at Elk Bar in Fulham. And now we’ve got the perfect excuse for you to pitch yourself up on a pub bench while the sun is shining as myTNT VIPs get two burgers for the price of one before 6pm. Sunshine, sports on TV, a pint and not one, but two burgers. This is what dreams are made of, right? tntmagazine.com/myTNT-VIP

roam free If you’ve tried free-range chicken, you’ll appreciate the difference it makes. And Clockjack Oven is all about letting the chooks run free through luscious fields; well, before they serve them up, marinated in herbs, cooked rotisserie style with a house-made sauce, that is. But they taste so delicious, you would think the chickens would almost want this to be their destiny. Especially when they are washed down with a free beer, wine or soft drink courtesy of myTNT VIP. It’s what they would have wanted… tntmagazine.com/myTNT-VIP

steer in this direction Saffas know their beef. Fact. So if you’re looking for a proper ‘grrr-style’ burger, head to the newly opened Steers in Clapham Junction. There are 505 Steers across South Africa, and many will be a excited about the launch of the UK branch. It’s fast food, but it’s good food, with freshly made hand-cut chips and flame-grilled 100 per cent beef burgers. With a basic burger and chips starting at £2.60, we’ll be skipping the Golden Arches.

brasserie blanc french

It’s like stepping back in time to France in the Thirties at this celebritychef-run eatery on the South Bank. With Raymond Blanc’s name above the door, Brasserie Blanc pulls in a fair trade – it’s heaving on the Saturday night we visit; although, oddly, a huge chunk of the clientele seems to be over 50. Booths are dotted around the room, with huge metal storage overhead, locomotive-style. A checkered black-and-white tiled floor, large dark-wooden chairs and tables, and a zinc bar with stools for pre-dinner cocktails conjure a vintage vibe. The staff are incredibly friendly – and not in an annoying, over-attentive way, but are happy to recommend dishes, wines, desserts. The grub Blanc says his aim for this chain is to serve dishes like his mother did while he was growing up in France. My Miscellany Of Salads is enough for two to share – large helpings of creamy cucumber and dill creme fraiche, celeriac remoulade, potato salad along with carrot vinaigrette, breakfast radish and sweetheart salad. It’s a light, tapas-style dish made with fresh ingredients – nothing too overpowering. Across the table, my friend is tucking into the authentic Escargot In Garlic Herb Butter, washing them all down with a bottle of crisp Domaine Begude Vin De Pays D’oc, Sauvignon Blanc. Next up is a sublime dish of Swiss Chard and Gruyere Gratin – potatoes swimming in thick, gloopy cheese, served with mushrooms and a perfectly cooked egg. Equally impressed, my companion finishes her Roast Lincolnshire Free Range Pork Belly, which is served with a generous portion of crackling, along with green apple sauce. All the dishes are spot on. THE SCENE

As you would expect, BB specialises in French wines. As well as the better-known Sancerre and Chablis, there’s also a selection of regional offerings. Bill please Starters from £5.90; main courses from £12; dessert from £2. Champagne from £8 per glass; wine from £4.50/ £18.50 per glass/ bottle. verdict A top option for fantastic French fare. carol driver Behind the bar

steers.uk.com 9 Belvedere Road, SE1 8YL

brasserieblanc.com

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Banter: Aussies have dined out on the English’s sporting gloom, time they copped it

The media is full of shock over Britain’s recent heatwave... Or as we used to call it ... ‘Summer’

Eimear

Queen: Gay marriage is legal in the UK. Camilla: Can I take this dress off now?

Jack

my housemate lost her cat – I spent four hours looking for the bloody thing. it definitely wasn’t at the pub

Still searching

irony = george zimmerman fearing someone will take law into own hands

Ben

“Man charged after severed deer head left on supermarket checkout” Finally, an unexpected item in the bagging area

Kris

what do you call an arsenal player with a trophy? a woman

Joanne

My friends say i’m an alco because i’ve always got a beer in my hand - it’s far easier to agree than say i glued it on there

Tommy

nothing worse in hot weather than the runs unless you’re australia

Ian

“And we danced all night, to the best song ever” we sure did, and it sure as hell wasn’t a piece of shit by one direction

Orlando

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As someone who grew up with “you can’t go home from school ’til it hits 40°C”, I’ve been amazed with all the malarkey about the apparent heatwave in Britain. Never have I had train station announcers advising me to drink water and sit in the shade in 30°C weather, nor have I ever considered putting my pillow in the fridge (the BBC actually advises this). Can’t wait for warnings on the sudden cold snap, known as winter, that will undoubtedly shock the good people of Britain. Amber Lavelle, via email

NO PROTEST HERE

Re: Trenton Oldfield denied visa (TNT 1557): Prepare to be “extremely surprised”, as I am glad he is being denied a visa, so are most of the people I know. What he did was stupid, but I could forgive it and his misplaced politics. But the fact is he has shown a bad attitude

since and does not seem to realise that his protest missed its mark. As a Brit abroad, if I have grievances towards the system I am living in I would certainly not go about trying to make changes or raising awareness of it in an illegal manner that is attention seeking and not backed up by the facts. It is sad for his unborn child, but he broke the law and he should have thought through the consequences before he did what he did. Edward Quinlan, via email

STEALING RIGHTS? Re: Police evict 75 squatters in Brixton (tntmagazine. com): I really, really, don’t understand the laws which seem to allow squatting. It’s absurd. I can’t steal a car just because my neighbour hasn’t used it in a while, why can I steal a house? sionnach, via Reddit LONDON 2012 GAMES REDUX /54 GRETA GERWIG /25

Loved the article “Note to England: Being a success means failure’s next” (TNT 1559). This is a marked improvement from where we have been – failures and failures again. As a sports fan I found it fair and funny. I can’t help think you’ve missed the point, though. We know Murray’s a Scot and the Lions couldn’t have been more Welsh, but we love seeing Aussies wound up over sport after being on the wrong end of the banter for so many years. We won’t let something as irrelevant as facts get in the way. Your article would suggest mission accomplished. Matt (Aussie-loving Brit) Matt wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventures.com

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Tweet us @tntmagazine @JonBradﬁeld Re: Royals order Pippatips Twitter spoof be closed: How dare people make easy money off Pippa’s attempts to make easy money on the royal family’s coat-tails. @_missrain Re: Aussie girl gored at #RunningOfTheBulls: Sympathy? No, none. I wish this would act as a precedent to ban this cruel and barbaric festival.

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Amy Curtis: Kevin Rudd’s plan to send asylum seekers who arrive by boat to PNG: K rudd should be put on an island and left! It’s so inhumane and immoral! And people who support it disgrace our country Lisa Kirwan: Re: Above: Can’t let everyone in - at least K-Rudd is doing something about it!

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TNT SOCIAL EVENTS TNT knows how to throw a good party. And now you’re invited – for free! Whether it’s a BBQ on Australia Day, or a fancy dress party at Halloween, we’ve got your social calendar sorted. All VIPs get entry to TNT events.

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the Great contiki challenge Across London. Saturday, July 13, 2013 Photos by: Ashwini Cooper/ TNT More pics and tag yourself at facebook.com/tntmag

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Kiwi rock: Melic kick start the TNT 30th birthday party

festival

watch

wilderness festival

Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire, OX7 3EH. Aug 8-11. £139

wildernessfestival.com

This Oxfordshire fest brings together performers from across the cultural spectrum for a diverse weekend of rural revelery. Empire Of The Sun (below), Noah And The Whale and Rodriguez feature on the musical line-up, but this is only part of the fun. There are also woodland feasts, aerial theatre shows courtesy of Les Pepones and others, a Bachanallian Masked Ball, Shakespeare Globe presenting the Bard, literature, wellbeing arenas and more. Not your normal fest!

tnt 30th birthday party Koko, NW1 7JE July 28 | Doors at 5pm-11pm | £15

Yes, your favourite weekly is 30 years old this year. TNT has been the travellers’ bible since it was launched back in 1983, and to celebrate this momentous occasion, we’re throwing one hell of a bash – so get ready to party. Aussie legend Ash Grunwald will be headlining our milestone shindig, treating you to cuts from his sublime back catalogue to wish TNT a very happy birthday. Ash released his latest album, Gargantua, last year, written and recorded with The Living End’s rhythm section Scott Owen and drummer Andy Strachan, and will be supported by English singer-songwriter Matthew P and Polly Money, but not before TNT fave Melic get the show started. Forming back in 2008, the London-based Kiwi rockers have forged a path with their funk-infused tune-smithery, releasing three EPs, the latest being Nowhere I’d Rather Be, en route to this summer’s debut long player, the hotly anticipated An Hour To Anywhere, from which they’ll be delving into this evening. It wouldn’t be a TNT party, though, without the usual array of tantalising travel giveaways. On the night, there’ll be Topdeck Travel vouchers up for grabs, along with an Oktoberfest trip for two, Busabout flexitrips, tickets for Twickenham, Sandown Park and CircoLoco, as well as random giveaways. There will also be a prize draw for the first 100 people through the door on the night as well as goodies for those who best embrace the beach party fancy dress theme. If you’re not there though you won’t be in with a shout to get yer mits on these top prizes! Mornington Crescent

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NEW BAND

atoms for peace GIG July 24-26. 7pm £49.50

Atoms are one of the more perplexing supergroups to have emerged in recent years – Radiohead frontman and infamous doommonger Thom Yorke and his Kid A-esque rhythms with Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Flea (right) on bass. It shouldn’t work but it does, really, really well. Check ‘em and their debut Amok out. Roundhouse Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH Chalk Farm roundhouse.org.uk

the nextmen feat dj vadim + mr thing

secretsundAZE SUMMER PARTY

CLUB

Sat, july 27. 10.30pm-4am £10

sun, july 28. 2pm-10.30pm £9.50+

The Nextmen will be bringing their A game for this home-turf show spinning everything from hip-hop and house to breakbeat, dubstep and disco. DJ Vadim and Mr Thing will touch down, too for a three-hour set apiece to make this a truly eclectic, record-collection-spanning night where unpredictability reigns supreme.

Lawrence (Dial) and Marcus Pottman along with world-renowned residents James Priestly and Giles Smith line up for the four-pronged attack at this July afternoon-to-evening party, SecretSundaze’s first west London event in some time. So get the sunnies on and get out in the courtyard to throw some shapes.

The Garage N5 1RD Highbury & Islington mamacolive.com/thegarage

Loft Studios 77-81 Scrubs Lane, NW10 6QP Willesden Junction residentadvisor.net

the guilty ones The buzz so far Euphoric, cloudsoaring pop rock with the sort of choruses, courtesy of vocalist Liv, that take up residence in your head for days on end. That’s what this new London outfit deliver with the lead single of their forthcoming EP, Conquer The World. Manic Street Preachers frontman James Dean Bradfield was so impressed with the snippets he heard as they laid down tracks in the studio, he offered them use of the Manics’ string section and their north Wales studio. Conquering the world might be on the cards! The Critics say “It will sweep through your soul” NY Times magazine

Conquer The World single is out July 28 through Auditorius/BMG Chrysalis facebook.com/theguiltyones

Photos: Getty

the plug

public enemy

tyDi

anvil

GIG

CLUB

GIG

thurs, july 25. 7.30pm £28.50

sun, july 28. 3pm-11pm Free

tues, july 30. 7pm £17.50

Just as much known for Chuck D’s politically charged rhymes as Flavour Flav’s out-there buffoonery and reality TV hijinx, put them on a stage and Public Enemy show why they are still one of the greatest live acts today. They’ll be playing from their 26-year career and their 12th album, last year’s The Evil Empire Of Everything.

The 26-year-old Brisbaner’s proved that youth is no barrier to superstardom. He’s taken the world by storm since his first releases at the age of 16, which he followed up with his debut Look Closer just three years later. He lands in south London for this ultra-special set between Global Gathering and Ibiza. Catch him now.

The Canadian metal band who shot to fame with 2009 documentary Anvil!: The Story Of Anvil, come to London to treat metal-heads to their new album, Hope In Hell (recorded during their doco-led 18-month world tour). Perennially uncool yet admirably hard rocking metal from the cult band that proved anything was possible.

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

Gigalum 7-8 Cavendish Road, SW4 9DW Clapham Common gigalum.com

The Garage N5 1RD Highbury & Islington mamacolive.com/thegarage

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30TH

SINCE 1983

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D + TOP A L A W N U R G H S A D EGEN MER P JOIN TNT, AUSSIE L M U S O K O K D E S IS -TO-BE-M T O N R U O T A T H IG N THEME Y T R A P H C A E B – ESSED R D T S E B R O F S E PRIZ

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Topdeck travel ip voucher & Oktoberfest tr s. for 2. Busabout flexi trip Tickets to Twickenham, Sandown Park & CircoLoco

RANDOM GIVEAWAYS PRIZE DRAW FOR 1ST 100 LIVE MUSIC ALL NIGHT

FANCY DRESS

Y T R A P H C A BE

Sun July 28 at Koko | 1a Camden High St, London, NW1 7JE | 5pm - 11pm | Tickets £15 TNT_1560_022 22

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FOR THE FIRST TIME. IN LONDON. The greatest spiritual healer of the world

MR HAMBA. Nesta Presents:

FUTUREFEST An immersive experience of what the world might feel like over the next few decades; a weekend of compelling talks, cutting-edge shows, technology displays and interactive performances that will inspire and challenge you to change the future.

28-29 SEPTEMBER 2013 Shoreditch Town Hall For the full programme and tickets go to:

WWW.FUTUREFEST.ORG

‘the butcher for all your needs’ polskie mięso, mi so, w wę ędliny i kiełbasy kiełbasy łbasy

BUTCHERS

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19/07/2013 09:29:03

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Greta Gerwig

The American actress on her latest movie, Frances Ha, her character struggling to find her way in her 20s, and casting herself... INTERVIEW alasdair morton

Your character Frances is trying to find her way in her twenties and struggling with childhood friendships that are changing as she gets older – what are the similarities between her and you? That’s a question I totally understand but at the same time it is completely foreign to me. Both Noah [Baumbach – filmmaker, The Squid And The Whale] and I put a lot of ourselves and our experiences into the script but then there are a lot of other things that you make up that have nothing to do with our lives. Is there more pressure on young people these days to have it all figured out? We’re given more time but there is also more confusion these days. Yet, in other ways, it’s a hyper-competitive, driven world. There are fewer jobs for more qualified people meaning everyone is competing at a high level from a young age. Do you think people worry about being left behind? It can feel like, if you haven’t found your place by the end of your twenties, then you’ve missed the boat and been left behind by the world as everyone else has figured it out. How were your twenties? Very different [to Frances’]. I had more tangible success in my chosen field than she does [as a budding dancer] but I empathise with her plight. Did you do a lot of improvisation when shooting the film? Noah and I didn’t improvise at all – we don’t do that on his movies. It is not a part of what is interesting to us.

Photos: Getty

So you stick rigidly to the script? We try to make every document as perfect as we can and then insist every actor says their lines as they are written. Improvising can be interesting but it is not what we wanted to do with the film – it is not how Noah works or how I am interested in working. We’d spent about a year writing the script to be very precise. How did you find shooting on the busy streets of New York City? We shot for 50 days for 14 hours a day doing

Rising star: Gerwig wrote and stars in classic-to-be Frances Ha 30 to 40 takes [of each scene], too. Once we entered the New York streets there were all these things we couldn’t control which made shooting more difficult but it also meant that we had actual life in the movie.

nostalgic. It is a personal story about a difficult year in Frances’ life, but we wanted it to look like the sort of film Frances would never have envisaged herself being in. As the filmmakers, we could almost take care of her in that way.

How so? I can always tell when there are movie extras in a film because they’re always doing something that’s totally fake – it doesn’t look like the way I think of New York as being.

How did you go about this? We wanted the kind of black and white that [legendary cinematographer] Gordon Willis [The Godfather; All The Presidents Men] got when he worked with Woody Allen [Annie Hall; Manhattan]. This silvery warm black and white.

Did you look to any other movies for inspiration? Yes, from some of the films in the Seventies where they shot on the streets. Like Martin Scorsese movie [celebrity satire] The King Of Comedy. Robert De Niro is out on the streets and sometimes people just look in the camera but it is OK because you know he’s actually out there on those streets. It’s thrilling and that was the feeling we wanted. But it can be chaotic. Why did you choose to shoot in black and white? Noah brought it up early on. It felt very intuitive to make it that way, and it also felt exactly what the movie should be like – both beautiful and

When did you decide you wanted to play the role yourself? I had a moment of being nervous. I was proud of the screenplay but didn’t want to win the role by default and I didn’t want to muck it up in any way. I wanted to be open to the possibility that I might not be the best person to play this part. So what changed your mind? My agent said, “Are you stupid?” By the time your agent is calling you stupid, you have to think about it! Frances Ha is released July 26 through Metrodome franceshamovie.com

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Claws out: Hugh Jackman is grrr-ripped in The Wolverine

the wolverine FILM review by Alasdair Morton Starring: Hugh Jackman, Rila Fukushima | 12A | 125mins | On general release July 25

frances ha FILM Starring: Greta Gerwig, Mickey Sumner | 15 | 85mins

Rising star Greta Gerwig (interview P25) stars in and co-writes – with director Noah Baumbach – this New York-set modern Woody Allen-styled tale of finding your way in life and the demise of childhood female relationships. Playful, loaded with eminently quotable dialogue and touching and heartfelt too, it’s a modern classic in the making. Highly recommended. On general release July 26

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Hugh Jackman returns for the fifth time as the sideburned mutant Wolverine, and after his lacklustre origin story, the overcrowded mouthful that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine, he’s back to his former gruff and grizzled best. Mining Chris Claremont and Frank Miller’s comic book for inspiration, director James Mangold and a screenwriting trio take Wolverine to Japan where he is stripped of his powers by evil green mutant Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova) and embroiled in a Yakuza-fuelled power fight going back to a Japanese soldier he saved from a WW2 Nagasaki-destroying A-bomb. Essentially, it’s Jackman’s selfhealing mutant Logan vs legions of somersaulting, masked ninjas. And when he isn’t taking them on mano-a-mutated-mano, he’s brawling atop a speeding bullet train. The Wolverine forgoes the usual superhero movie route – invading alien force needs to be stopped by a super-powered ultra-man – for a samurai-meets-Western take on the comic book genre and focuses more on Jackman’s famous on screen alter-ego than his own origin movie did. It does gift him the odd wisecrack, but the tone is weighted more towards the serious – this is a back-to-basics brawl as the bare-chested one leaps from one kinetically-choreographed grapple to another. It’s not a revelation, and throws in the odd movie cliché (an unneeded romantic subplot for one). But Wolverine’s banter with Fukushima’s bad-ass – looking like a Battle Royale survivor – engages, and it injects enough new blood into this formerly headed-off-the-rails series to ensure Wolverine will live to fight another day. Good for: Wolverine/ Jackman fans disappointed by the character’s last two movie outings.

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19/07/2013 13:26:07

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rubberbandits

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

This Limerick duo wear plastic bags on their faces and rap about spastic hawks and having a Horse Outside (according to their 2012 YouTube hit). The twosome, who claim to be straightup rappers, are a staggeringly crude, rude and confrontationally funny hour of entertainment – straight up or not. Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Until July 27. £10+ Tottenham Court Road sohotheatre.com

staying alive

The American Plan

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

British artists Chris Bracey (a neon magician) and Christian Furr (the youngest artist to have painted the Queen – he was 28!) collaborate for this exhibition that looks at the theme of Staying Alive through neon and found objects. It’s a show about art, rock and poetry and inspired, the fellas say, by Einstein, Edison and Essex.

This Sixties-set drama – about summering in the Catskills mountains which have long been popular with Jewish New Yorkers for a reprieve from the city heat and romance for the young – owes a debt to Tennessee Williams. While it garnered excellent reviews in Bath earlier this year it seems to have lost something in the transfer. LK

Park Lane Hotel 45 Park Lane, W1K 1PN. Until Aug 30. FREE Green Park 45parklane.com/art

St James Theatre 21 Palace Street, SW1E 5JA. Until Aug 10. £15+ Victoria stjamestheatre.co.uk

rob beckett What’s the show about? Basically me being as funny as possible for 20 minutes. Whatever it takes. I am doing a UK tour in the autumn so the set needs to be funny for people to come and see a full show! Who’s your comedy hero? Growing up it was Alan Davies. They say never to meet your heroes but I’ve met him and he’s a lovely bloke, and well funny. Plus, he’s an Arsenal fan, too, which always helps.

Photos: Helen Maybanks; Getty

Who is the funniest person you’ve ever met? My mates when we’re down the pub – no one is as funny as your mates once you’ve had a few beers!

the kings of summer

charlie and the chocolate factory

FILM

THEATRE

This Stand By Me-esque drama tells the story of three teenage best friends who spend their summer holidays building a house in the woods – no parents, no one telling them what to do, a place where they make the rules – and living off the land. A Sundance-praised coming-of-age tale with a raft of impressive young actors and a debut screenplay by Chris Galletta.

The kids are great in this lavish musical, oozing confidence, but it starts slow before Charlie (Louis Suc this evening) finds the winning wrapper and heads off to the magical chocolate factory. Here things look up with Douglas Hodge’s charismatic Wonka and cleverly realised Oompa Loompas. An entertaining confection. LK

On general release July 26

Theatre Royal Drury Lane, WC2B 5JF. Until May 31, 2014. £25+ Charing Cross seetickets.com

What is your favourite joke? One of my dad’s old ones: why does a squirrel swim upside down? To keep his nuts dry. I could never do it onstage but it makes me smile. What is the strangest show you’ve ever done? At a Caribbean restaurant, literally no one listened [to me] they just ignored me. I felt like an over-confident waiter. Foster’s Live Highlight, NW1 8AB. July 27. £17 Camden Town thehighlight.co.uk

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i mate myTNT r Prize Package!

H OF PRIZES AND JUST ONE WINNER how to enter To celebrate our new social network, myTNT, we’re going to make sure one lucky winner’s summer gets sorted! Win a trip around Europe for you and a mate, a pair of Bestival tickets, a state-ofthe-art camera and five passes to see Rock Of Ages. Here’s how ...

myTNT YOUR SUMMER SORTED CHALLENGE Over a period of five weeks, we’ll ask you to take a photo in London and post it on myTNT (see tntmagazine.com/summer-sorted for how and where). Not just any old shot, though. We'll set a different photo challenge each week. You must complete every challenge to be eligible to win. After five weeks, we'll choose who posted the best five photos. The judges will pay particular attention to inventiveness and, above all, fun!

CHALLENGE #5 Post a

photo of you in London

'with a TNT Maga zine' at my.tntmag azine.com.

Either with a copy of the magazine or with the website on your phone/laptop/tab let

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A TRIP AROUND EUROPE FOR YOU AND A MATE The winner bags a three-day La Tomatina camping trip PLUS a six-stop Busabout Hop-on Hop-off Flexitrip to get there – for two people! Use the Flexitrip to explore Europe with a choice of 33 destinations across nine countries. Then jump off in Spain to get messy at the world's biggest food fight in the tiny town of Buñol on August 28. busabout.com/hop-on-hop-off/flexitrip busabout.com/festivals/la-tomatina

2 X BESTIVAL TICKETS including Wild Copse camping You'll also receive a pair of tickets – including Wild Copse camping – to music fest Bestival's HMS-themed weekend of fun on the Isle of Wight this September 5-8. The fest's 10th anniversary year is not to be missed, featuring gargantuan headliners Elton John and Snoop Dogg, plus M.I.A, The Flaming Lips, Carl Cox and many more. bestival.net

an E-PL5 Olympus camera Also in your haul will be a state-of-the-art E-PL5 Olympus camera, with special features such as fast AF, touch operations and superb image quality matching that of the OM-D camera, and all within a compact, easy-to-carry design – ideal for capturing your amazing summer! olympus.co.uk

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Beardyman: Jackman is back as superhairy on-screen alter ego Wolverine 30

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The wolf man cometh Hugh Jackman returns in superhero movie The Wolverine, where his famous X-Men character heads to the land of the rising sun Words alasdair morton

Hugh Jackman came a cropper when shooting his latest flick, The Wolverine, in Japan, walking around a spa naked, his own little wolverine out for all to see, until a local pointed out his error. “I then realised the towel was meant to be covering my privates and I’d spent an hour waltzing around with it in one hand and a beer in my other hand,” Jackman sheepishly admitted. This culture clash could just as easily have happened to the 44-year-old Sydneysider’s most famous on-screen alter ego – the role that thrust him from relative obscurity to global superstardom 13 years ago, thanks to Bryan Singer’s X-Men – who now finds himself battling the Yakuza and samurai in the Far East thanks to the latest film in the franchise, The Wolverine. It’s been four years since Logan, aka Wolverine’s, last movie outing, the poorly titled and received X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which crammed too many mutants and commercially targeted ideas into a haphazard film. “You just look at that last movie’s title and see nine marketing intentions,” The Wolverine director James Mangold (Walk The Line) says of following up the previous series instalment. “You’ve got ‘X-Men’, ‘origins’, and ‘Wolverine’ – it’s like, ‘Do you want pepperoni with that, too?’” The new film looks to correct that jumbled approach. “Origins was more of an X-Men movie,” Mangold says. “They didn’t give much time to his character, but we’ve found a way to give Logan more time.” Now, Wolverine is centre stage and a lunchbox-favouring spectacle is sidestepped to make way for a darker, grittier, more brutal Logan who gets to throw unwanted evil ones off hotel balconies and grunts at others to go fuck themselves. “Hugh wanted a chance to do something different and to deliver something to the fans who’d come to him,” Mangold says, referencing the legions of loyal followers garnered from Jackman’s star-making turn back in Bryan Singer’s 2000 original X-Men movie. That something new was to transpose the formerly USbased Wolverine to Japan, and plunge him into the midst of a family feud with which he was intrinsically linked thanks to his adamantium-aided self-healing ways. “Japanese cinema has been huge to me,” the New Yorkborn director says. “Samurai films and Westerns are a great love of mine and they’re intrinsically bound, too. We were trying to make a Wolverine movie that was more based on

the architecture of samurai and Western [films] and less so on the ‘will the world be saved?’ idea, which has been the architecture of the comic book movie for the last decade. “If you watch a film like Dirty Harry, there’s a shooting and then Clint Eastwood shows up – you’re wondering who is he? Has his wife left him? Does he have kids? And then the movie just starts.” This was an approach Jackman wanted too and Mangold decided to drop the audience right into the action by facing

“

It’s a darker, grittier, more brutal Wolverine

”

Wolverine off against a Nagasaki-decimating A-bomb in an astounding opening sequence, then flashing forward to a Logan-gone-native in the Yukon, like a bearded Rambo running from his demons. Jackman, though, also wanted Wolverine’s primitive power to be better used than before.

Jazz hands: Jackman lets his stage musical past out on set tntMagazine.com

››

[Caption]

“Hugh wanted more of a darkness and rage, and more of his fighting style – which just comes off as weird in the face of other mutants,” says Mangold. “If you have characters that can make the clouds open and aircraft carriers rise, then ‘chink’ [of his blades] doesn’t seem so intense. Get Logan away from that, though, and suddenly he is much more badass and his physicality isn’t outscaled by the weather-changing, magnet-making universe surrounding him.” Surround him with a load of blade-toting ninjas, honourbound samurai and toxin-spouting mutant Viper, however, and it’s a whole other world in which Wolverine’s bite is put to the test and in which Jackman gets to show off all those man hours spent down the gym. But despite having bulked up by hitting the weights and eating 6000 calories a day to play his signature role, embracing the darkness and rage took Jackman to places that scared him, and his wife, a little. “In the film, there is a scene where I swing from the inside to the outside of a train and my neck got caught,” Jackman says of shooting a sequence set atop one of Tokyo’s 300mphhitting bullet trains. “I thought I had broken it!” The setpiece itself was one Mangold had dreamed up while riding the famous trains between scouting locations. “It is a well-worn action movie trope to have [people]

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fighting on the top of a train,” Mangold says. “[But] never has it happened on top of a bullet train. You’re going 290-odd mph, as fast as a plane, and there are trains coming the other way only eight inches apart from each other which make a sonic boom as they pass – they are insane!” How did Jackman feel about putting his neck on the line, literally? “It was one of those moments when my wife looked at me and said, ‘What are you doing? Enough playing in the schoolyard! You are not invincible!’” This incident has not tamed Jackman’s love for the character, though. He’ll next be seen in the upcoming X-Men: Days Of Future Past which brings together the 2009 First Class movie with original X-Men cast (Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart and Halle Berry) and director, Bryan Singer. Jackman would also love to see his claw-brandisher team up with other superheroes, such as Spider-Man and Iron Man, in a multi-character smash-up that would bring together the X-Men with that other big screen comic book movie team, The Avengers. “I said ‘man, can this happen?’,” Jackman told website Collider of his conversations with Tom [Cohen, Marvel VP of production] about the possibility of Twentieth Century Fox [who own X-Men and Fantastic Four] teaming up with Sony [Spider-Man] and Marvel [Iron Man, Thor, Captain America]. “He goes, ‘Look, it is not going to be easy because you’re working with different studios and they’re their properties.’ But I believe maybe ... at some point. I find it impossible that there’s not a way to bring Iron Man, all The Avengers, Wolverine, the X-Men characters, Spider-Man, and somehow get them all together.” “I don’t see the impediment,” Jackman adds. “I’m like OK, you’ve got three studios, just split it three ways in terms of the cost, and happy days, it’s all coming together,” he says with trademark Aussie pragmatism. “I’m in for it, I’m totally up for it!” With The Wolverine out this week and ...Future Past next summer, it seems that Jackman is going to make sure he does right by his growly screen buddy. Which means only good things for us. See P26 for our review of The Wolverine. ❚ The Wolverine is out July 25 through Twentieth Century Fox. thewolverinemovie.com

Photos: Getty

Turning Japanese: Jackman’s mutant fights the samurai

Clockwise from top left: Wolverine goes east; the claws are out; Mangold and his star on set in Tokyo

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OF THE WEEK BRETT MURPHY

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CULTURE SHOCK Descending the escalators to the ‘Tube’ on my first day in London, minding my own business, staring off into the abyss of my own thoughts, I was bulldozed by a dishevelled businessman before he gracelessly hustled down the remaining steps. Tube etiquette is just one of many cultural quirks I’ve noticed during my brief stint in London. You’re not supposed to talk to one another either, which is handy – there’s nothing like deafening silence to accompany the obliteration of the concept of personal space. You know that scene in the first Matrix film when Neo pops out of the goo pod, gasping for air with the tubes coming out of his nipples? That’s what I feel like stepping off the Tube. Culture shock, our study abroad office warned us, would be a scary, even briefly crippling transition from Boston. My friends have travelled all over the world, from Prague and Athens to Beijing and Johannesburg, and it’s taken them months to adjust. Not here. I know I still manage to stick out, even in places as eclectic as Camden Town, but I like to think the transition so far has been fairly seamless. There seems to be a culture of “the other” here that doesn’t alienate or marginalise minorities of any genus. The middle-aged Kurdish barber – clad in a Rolling Stones T-shirt – that cut my hair yesterday called it, “hospitality to any and every niche”. Read more at: my.tntmagazine.com/blogs

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Taking a gamble: this is how some make a living

Do you feel lucky? Know your royal flush from your full house? Go from a lucky hand on poker night to millions in tournaments Words caroline garnar Kiss goodbye to measly bets, cowardly folds and nervous foot-tapping; it’s time to take on the big boys and girls.

Why poker? Many people have two ideal scenarios when it comes to work: doing it at home in your PJs, and/or travelling the world to glamorous locations and being paid for it. As a professional poker player, you get to do both. “I’ve been to almost every continent to play and have seen so many of the sights I’d only dreamed I’d visit when I was younger,” says Liv Boeree, 28, a poker player and TV presenter. “I’ve met and played against the very best in the world, not to mention actors, directors, athletes, businessmen, scientists and other really fascinating people.” 38

TNT_1560_038 38

Poker players also spend a lot of their time playing online, hence the working in your PJs bit. That doesn’t mean you can take it easy, however. “I’d typically play six days a week, usually a session from 11am-1pm. Then from 3pm right on through until around 2am,” says Ross Jarvis, who became editor of PokerPlayer magazine after playing online tournaments with pokerstars.com for three years. “It’s a lot of hard work with unsociable hours. You must either be incredibly talented or have a good work ethic to be able to pull it off – or both.” The freedom you get being a pro poker player seems to be a real draw, too. “I have some responsibilities,” Boeree says. “For example I am a member of Team PokerStars Pro, which

means there are certain tournaments I must attend – for example in Barcelona and the Bahamas, what a tough life! – but otherwise I completely dictate my playing schedule.” Meanwhile, Jake Cody, a pro player for PokerStars who at the age of 25 is one of the youngest in the game, considers himself carefree: “I have so few responsibilities – it’s an ideal lifestyle for someone in their 20s.”

Working on your poker face Most forms of gambling are based on luck, but poker aficionados insist a large amount of skill is needed to be a success. It’s rarely a case of pick-up-andplay and, Cody advises, newcomers will need to take time to learn the ropes. “In the early years I was completely

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LIFESTYLECAREERS On the job charlie lyne

Career Writer and debut filmmaker Age 21 Lives Nth London From Sth London

Photos: Getty

Young star: Jake Cody

Queen of poker: Liv Boeree

are surprisingly willing obsessed with no fools, only horses to teach you a lot improving; I spent all If cards aren’t your deal, maybe about the game, my days playing as well horse racing could be your best bet as reading poker books, – pro punter Martin Bishop shares Boeree explains. going on forums, his top tips: As for earnings, it watching training • Take a fictitious £1000 and really depends on how videos and, most hypothetically bet on the horses good you are. Cody’s importantly, discussing you think will win, betting no more biggest win has been hands,” he says. “Being than one per cent of your total pot €850k (£735k), while good at maths helps on any one race. After a month, if Boeree scored herself but is not essential. you have made a profit, you could just over £1million Logic, mental strength think about betting professionally. through the European and the ability to block • With online bookmakers it’s Poker Tour. If you’re an out emotion are all very easy to get the best prices. Say online player, it can be important in my eyes.” Ladbrokes is offering 4/1 but a bit more predictable: In Boeree’s case, Bet365 is 5/1, you need to place the “On average over a a woman makes her bet with Bet365. year I would have six own luck, and she • Visit martinbishopracing.co.uk winning months, three uses her gender to for a free trial on his betting advice. break-even and three her advantage when losing months. The playing tournaments: most I have won in a “Not only do you stand out more, and month is around £8000,” Jarvis says. thus get more media coverage, but Of course, as with all forms of players often underestimate you at the gambling, luck does play a part. Cody tables. I use this to get an edge very, explains: “I always say, ‘try to put very often.” yourself in good situations and play well, but you Risky business cannot control the NEXT WEEK cards; you just Only a fool would dive head-first into have to hope playing poker full-time as a sole means On ya bike!: Top tips for safe today will be of income. The best way to approach cycling in London it is to start playing poker online as a your day’.” hobby and side-earner of sorts. It’s also WORLD’S BEST PRO GAMBLERS worth making contacts by going to tntmagazine.com/pro-gamblers local card rooms, where fellow players

How did you get into your job? I started a movie blog called Ultra Culture while I was taking my ASlevels, and it was just something that I kept up in the background while I was at school, primarily as a distraction from maths. By the time I left, it only seemed halfway absurd that I might actually be able to write for a living. What do you do day-to-day? At the moment I’m working on my first film, Beyond Clueless – a documentary on the philosophy of the teen movie – so I spend most days editing that. But I’m still keeping up with the blog when I can, and writing a monthly column for The Guide in The Guardian. What’s the most rewarding part? Finding a good closing sentence. And the most challenging? Not giving in to procrastination. guru.bafta.org

How to... get out

of a screw up You’ve made an error at work, here’s how to sort it.

• ’Fess up. It will only look worse if you try to hide your mistake and it is uncovered. Take the high road, take the blame and apologise sincerely.

• Help to solve the problems

you’ve caused, or if you can’t, offer to take on work from those who have to.

• Think about why you made

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We’ve swapped one set of whites for another and Wimbledon for Kennington as The Ashes bowls its way to its fifth Investec Test in SE11’s Kia Oval. The Poms might be the current holders, but once we beat them this year, and we will beat them, we plan on moving to Kennington so we can rub their faces in it all year round. That, and it seems like a pretty nice area, too...

Why Kennington? 95 24.

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Just south of the Thames, Kennington is surprisingly pleasant on the eye for a bustling London town. Even its Tube station has character courtesy of its attractive dome, while the leafy residential streets of Victorian and Georgian houses offer quiet slices of suburban life a short walk from the grandeur of Westminster and the bright lights of the West End. “Kennington is very eclectic with regards to properties available and residents, which makes the area a very interesting place to live,” says Victoria Fisher, residential lettings manager at Winkworth Kennington. “Plus there is a great community feel with the [annual] Kennington Fete held in Cleaver Square and The Oval Farmers’ Market on a Saturday [10am-3pm].”

Who lives there?

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TNT_1560_042 42

Mere minutes from the Houses of Parliament, the posh parts of Kennington are popular with MPs; indeed, many of the ones caught up in the expenses scandal own second homes here. Van Gogh and Charlie

Chaplin also had residences in the area, and it seems not much has changed, with Fisher citing actors, artists and media types as locals, adding: “Residents in Kennington are very varied and range between families, young professionals and mature students.”

The connections This is the true beauty of Kennington: you are on the doorstep of central London. Pleasant strolls take you into the city centre, or you can borrow a Boris bike with a rack located just off Kennington Cross on Sancroft Street. If you’re short on time, hop on the Northern line to arrive at Leicester Square in just eight minutes, while the 59 bus will take you to King’s Cross in 35 minutes. There

Surprisingly green: Kennington

is also a Northern line extension between Kennington and Battersea planned for 2019.

Don’t move here if... Being so close to central London means you are also close to the craziness. The heaving

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19/07/2013 13:22:23

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All white: the Kia Oval hosts The Ashes’ fifth Test

MY AREA Tlax

quoit Bartender, 28

“I really appreciate the parks and playgrounds. I’ve only lived here for a bit, but I love that there are places for me to play basketball.”

Harvey

brown Owner of bike shop, PS, 26

tourist attractions by day and multi-level clubs that attract less than desirable characters by night may not appeal.

Where to hang out Once where public executions were held, Kennington Park is an infinitely more enjoyable place to ‘hang’ out in now. “It’s clean and a great place to walk the dog or just relax. There are also tennis courts if one feels a little more active,” Fisher says. By night, if you want to stumble mere metres to your door, the South London Pacific (southlondonpacific.com) is the area’s

popular club. For more casual drinks and a bite to eat, the Prince of Wales (shepherdneame.co.uk) is in a great spot for people watching. Culture vultures will find sustenance at The White Bear and Oval House theatres, the renowned Imperial War Museum, NEXT WEEK and The Cinema Museum, Host the which holds regular events perfect BBQ for cinephiles. KENNINGTON’S BEST BOOZERS tntmagazine.com/kennington-pubs

“Kennington, and all of southeast London in general, is upand-coming and I think it’s going to be the next hip and cool area, like Shoreditch.”

kyle

gross Student, 20

“It’s quiet and peaceful here. It’s nice to live away from the louder areas of town.”

se11 INFO Borough

Lambeth Council Tax

Band C: £1091.81

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock; supplied

Travel time to London

1-bedroom £1213pcm

2-bedroom £1972pcm

3-bedroom £2817pcm

This top-floor Victorian flat has lovely wooden dovetail flooring, period features and access to a large roof terrace, which is an awesome sun trap.

Housed in a new build, this modern property has gorgeous fixtures and fittings. Spread over two floors, it benefits from two double bedrooms and two bathrooms.

With three double bedrooms, generous living space and a sunny patio garden, you can share with a few couples and live the high life for £470pcm each.

dexters.co.uk

winkworth.co.uk

12mins Tube

Kennington Average rental 1 bed

£1365pcm Average rental 2 bed

£1528pcm Average rental 3 bed

£1993pcm

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TNT_1560_043 43

19/07/2013 13:22:27

WORLDVIEW

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Deadly: pies

man dies during pie-eating contest australia

An Australian pub regular choked to death while competing in a State of Origin pie-eating contest. The 64-year-old collapsed while eating a chilli pie at the Bushland Beach Tavern in northwest Townsville, after saying: “Jeez, this chilli pie is hot.” He was one of eight people taking part. Arthur McMahon, spokesman for Lillywhite Hotel Group, which owns the tavern, said Holland was a well-respected local who had been going to the pub for three years. “It’s one of those tragedies that just happens – it was very difficult for us to know whether it was something that could have been avoided.” tweets of the week @OwenJones84 Australian Labor’s Kevin Rudd apparently makes Nigel Farage look like a fluffy pinko liberal @jackwhitehall At this rate the queen might get a knock #ashes @stephenfry Thanks, Your Majesty, for the Royal Assent. You soon won’t be the only married queen in Britain

man’s penis bitten by toilet snake israel

A man got more than he bargained for when a snake emerged from the toilet he was using and bit his penis. The victim, who reportedly felt a burning sensation before realising the repitle had emerged from the bowl, was rushed to hospital but fortunately the small bite was not venomous. He apparently “ran from the room in horror” following the bite, which occurred 44

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It’s a sign: Greenpeace very publicly confronts energy minister Simon Bridges on this billboard in central Wellington, urging him to clear his name by releasing full details of a meeting he had with oil company Shell

at the 35-year-old man’s parents home. “This is the first time I’ve seen a snake bite like this,” a paramedic said.“Luckily, all tests seem fine and the man is well. “The snake was not poisonous. The man is currently under observation pending additional test results. As soon as we get the results, he will be able to go home.” The majority of Israel’s snake species are non-poisonous.

surfer hit by ‘torpedo’ dolphin australia

A surfer whose arm was broken as he clashed with a pod of dolphins has likened it to being hit by a torpedo. Troy Robinson was hit by the mammal while surfing alone at Ellensbrook

at Margaret River. He said he was paddling out to catch a wave when he saw it was already occupied – by more dolphins than he had ever seen before. “Up to 10 took off in this one wave. You could see them jumping around,” he said. “I duck-dived and next minute I got whacked off my board with a big thud. It just about felt like I broke my collarbone. “It felt like a big impact ... like a torpedo. It was really powerful and the dolphin must have been going quite fast. “Usually, they’ve got good senses and can get around you.” Robinson said the experience was a good story to tell his grandchildren. “It’s pretty rare. Better than a shark.”

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 90

Number of seconds of rock which psychologists reckon make us more productive if listened to mid-morning

Height, in metres, of cliff on which new 50mph Grand Canyon ride has been installed over Colorado River

Fr-fr-freezing: penguins on the snow

UNHAPPY FEET ... NO COLD FOR HOT TODDY

400

Fine, in pounds, slapped on Tracey Hayes, from Essex, for littering after she brushed her dog’s hair in the park

NEW ZEALAND

A senior king penguin at Auckland’s Kelly Sea Life Aquarium has developed an aversion to cold feet. Due to his old age, Toddy, 25 – whose counterparts usually only live until 15 – has been feeling the cold more so than usual. So staff have taken action, placing an insulated rubber mat into his enclosure, so the bird doesn’t have to walk on the snow. Whether or not the other penguins are envious of his warm spot or think he’s a right wimp is unknown.

GATORAID! SNAPPER STOLEN FROM PARK

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock; AAP

AUSTRALIA

An alligator was among 23 reptiles stolen during a night-time raid on the Australian Reptile Park. There are fears the creatures – including pythons, geckos, iguanas and tortoises – could end up on the black market. Police were called to the park on the Central Coast to find the thieves had smashed their way into the reptile holding area. Liz Vella, a senior curator at the park, said most of the stolen reptiles are babies and are not dangerous. “There is a black market for reptiles. A lot of the animals are not worth a lot. Obviously they’re worth everything to us and we love them dearly. Hopefully we will get some of them back.”

Number of Americans in relationships that are labelled ‘commuter marriages’ – living apart from their spouses

Snapped up: alligator

350 AUSSIES SPEAK NEW LANGUAGE AUSTRALIA

A new language has evolved in an Australian desert community, spoken by around 350 people – the majority being under the age of 35. Lajamanu, the Northern Territory’s most westerly community, is 870km from Darwin, has no fully paved roads and is cut off during wet season. Around 6000 people speak the original Warlpiri, others converse in Kriol, widely spoken by indigenous Australians, and youngsters have developed Light Warlpiri, a mix of Warlpiri, Kriol and English. Carmel O’Shannessy, a linguist from the University of Michigan, who began studying the dialect of the young locals more than a decade ago, said: “After children created the new system, it has since become a marker of their identity as being young Warlpiri from the Lajamanu Community.”

3,000,000

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I could not see myself wearing the Spandex. I could do everything else on that show, except for the tight trousers Peter Andre answers the burning question on everybody’s lips – why he’s not up for Strictly Come Dancing

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WIN A CASE OF BONDI BEER HOW TO ENTER To celebrate our new social network, myTNT, we’re giving away 10 cases of Bondi Beer every month for the next eight months! All you have to do is sign up to myTNT and start blogging – the 10 most active bloggers each month will win the frothy goodness!

HOW TO BLOG Sign up to our social network at my.tntmagazine.com. You’ll meet fellow travellers living in London, share tips and photos and get access to awesome competitions. There are also easy instructions on how to start your own blog – about travel, London, you name it. Start blogging on my.tntmagazine.com and you could attract hundreds of thousands of readers!

BLOGGING FOR BEER The more you blog, the more chance you have of bagging that beer. We’ll be giving away a case of 24 x 500ml Bondi Beer cans to the 10 most active bloggers on myTNT every month for the next eight months! Remember: more blogs = more chance of free beer!

ABOUT BONDI BEER Bondi Beer is named after Sydney’s world famous beach and was first brewed in a microbrewery in the heart of Sydney in August 2009. There’s a brilliant Saaz hop character and a perfect balance of flavour, with proper body and a good buzzy finish, giving the crisp refreshment of a premium lager. Bondi Beer is already available in the UK at some pubs and bars such as The Porterhouse in Covent Garden.

MORE BONDI! Follow us at the usual places: facebook.com/bondibeerco & @Bondibeer and of course bondibeer.com – more importantly send us your thoughts on the beer, upload pictures of you and your mates having a Bondi and keep watching for launch events, competitions and where we are being served.

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: LAURA CHUBB laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

Park life: an ideal way to spend a summer day

Too hot to handle? Poms are proper pathetic in 30ºC

Photo: Getty

MPs demand workers are sent home in soaring temperatures. D’oh The Poms’ farcical relationship with the weather took a turn for the increasingly preposterous last week when temperatures of 30°C (imagine!) had MPs scrambling to demand workers be sent home in the ‘heatwave’. While the skiver in me delighted at the idea of being packed off to the park to enjoy the rays rather than sweat it out at my desk, the simple fact is this is an overreaction of Daily Mail headline-writer proportions. The English are of course renowned for their obsession with the weather – a YouGov poll a couple of years ago found more than half of Brits talk about the climate every six hours, while 70 per cent checked the forecast at least once a day – but it would seem that, like most Pommie preoccupations (football, drinking booze), we’re just not very good at it. Come winter, a flake of snow sends the country into apocalyptic lockdown; now the mercury pushes 30 and we wilt at the shock of an unfamiliar sensation – what is it, again ... warmth? As the nation’s papers squeal daily – and online, hourly – about our first protracted spell of ‘sizzling’ weather (er, above the mid-twenties) in seven years, with editors wetting their already sweat-sodden undies at the prediction of a whole 35ºC some time this week, I feel frankly embarrassed. How can feeling a bit hot be worth this much press coverage? If temperatures of 30ºC+ necessitate sending Britain’s ruddy-cheeked workers home for the day, then shouldn’t a number of other countries also down tools for large portions of the year? Should the world grind to a halt just because one is a touch warm? I want to know what happened to the Great British fortitude. The iron will that sees us stride outside in shorts and a T-shirt when it hits the heady heights of the likes of 16ºC (which, incidentally, is below room temperature). Fellow countrymen, it is time we stopped being wimps, collected ourselves and brought back the stiff upper lip. Even if it is sporting an unflattering sweat moustache. » Agree or disagree? Should we all go home in the heat? letters@tntmagazine.com

K-RUDD ‘REJECTS’ ASYLUM SEEKERS K-Rudd’s plan to send asylum seekers heading for Australia by boat to Papua New Guinea, announced late last week, has been met with outrage by TNT readers, a heartening stance in the face of a seemingly heartless policy. Sally Brown wrote on our Facebook page, “[This] makes me ashamed to be Australian – we were all immigrants once!” while Michael Ball posted, “The use of the word ‘illegal’ always troubles me when speaking about asylum seekers. There is nothing illegal about seeking asylum.” Rudd claims the move is to stop smugglers abusing the system and “allow

“

It makes me ashamed to be an Australian

”

Australia to help more people who are genuinely in need”. While the reality of what it all means remains to be seen, the fact that everyday Aussies are troubled by such a hard-line decision raises the hope this particular policy will at the very least be held up to scrutiny. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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‘I just don’t like lying arseholes’ TNT heads to the Ecuadorian Embassy for an exclusive interview with WikiLeaks’ founder Julian Assange Words carol driver Julian Assange pads out from the room in the Ecuadorian Embassy he’s called home for the past year, greeting me with a polite kiss on both cheeks. He’s dressed in an old T-shirt, worn-in jeans – and he’s wearing white towelling socks without shoes. Well, it is the hottest day of the year, and this is his home. I crack an obviously hilarious joke about dressing up for the occasion as we wander into another room for our exclusive interview about the WikiLeaks’ founder’s bid to run for a seat in the Australian Senate. The embassy is in Knightsbridge, minutes from Harrods, but once inside – past the smiling Met officer, through the security detector, surrendering my passport – it’s fairly underwhelming. I wait in the small reception area, corridors leading off to various rooms, and busy people chatting in Spanish. It’s humid, no air-con – and it’s even hotter in the room we go into to talk, with computers dotted around it, a green screen for filming, and Post-it notes on one of the walls with soundbites written on them, such as ‘Cablegate’. Assange, 42, grew up in Australia. As a teen he hacked into government computers, got raided by the Feds, and started an underground magazine. By 2010 he’d hit headlines as editor-in-chief at WikiLeaks, publishing secret information from anonymous sources. Using high-profile media, that year the organisation released hundreds of thousands of US military cables, painting a devastating picture of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan – damning evidence about civilian casualties and ignored torture. The US and UK condemned the leak. Soldier Bradley Manning was arrested on suspicion of passing classified documents to WikiLeaks, and is now on trial in the US. Assange has described it as a “show trial”, with WikiLeaks helping to fund his defence – as well as supporting the latest whistleblower to go public, Edward Snowden. Later in 2010, Assange was accused of sexual offences by two women in Sweden. Although he admits he had consensual sex with them, the activist denies wrongdoing, dismissing it as a ruse for the US to extradite him to possibly stand trial over the leaking of military cables. After a legal battle against extradition to Sweden, in June 2012, Assange was granted political asylum at the Ecuadorian Embassy. Assange is one of the world’s most controversial figures, with two films being released this year – documentary We Steal Secrets (which WikiLeaks dismissed as lies) and

thriller The Fifth Estate, starring Benedict Cumberbatch as the WikiLeaks founder. This week, Assange will be officially announced as the WikiLeaks Party candidate for an Australian Senate seat in Victoria. The other candidates for New South Wales, Western Australia and Assange’s running mate in Victoria will be announced on Thursday. However, one of the pressing issues is that Assange isn’t in Australia – he’s sitting in a chair opposite me, his silver-blond hair long and unkempt, and even lighter than it appears on TV or in photos. He speaks in a low, gravelly tone – though the Australian accent is there. Pausing on a few occasions to find the right word, making sure he doesn’t say the wrong thing, Assange seems incredibly guarded, placing his dictaphone next to mine to record the interview, saying he’s been burnt many times by the media. Every now and then he relaxes, breaking into a laugh or a smile. He warns me of his tendency to give long answers – and more than five minutes in, I’ve only asked the first question. Our 15-minute allotted slot soon creeps to 45. Here’s the outcome of when TNT met Assange. ››

Protest: outside the Ecuadorian Embassy tntMagazine.com

Are you serious about wanting to help Australians, or is the Senate run a bid for your own freedom? For me personally, it doesn’t make any difference legally. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Australian senators have no immunity [in my situation] ... I would never run for any office to simply introduce another political party which just has platforms like any other political party ... What is the point of doing that? Already, the platform I have with WikiLeaks is significantly greater than the platform I would have being an Australian senator. The idea is to change how the Senate operates, change how the processes of government operate ... shake things up as much as possible.

How do you intend to shake things up? The Australian Senate is like the House of Lords here in the UK, except it has significantly more teeth. Its job is to scrutinise and expose the behaviour of government, hold it to account and check on its power ... it has to understand the complex mechanisms of governments and corporations – their lies, their deceits, their spin, their interconnections, their pressures – cut through all of that, through all the crap and say it like it is ... Now the question is can we take that same understanding WikiLeaks has developed about big corporations, about foreign policy about how states and big corporations really behave and apply that to the Senate in Australia ... I think that is possible.

Is there much corruption in Australia? Some of our people like to joke that we [WikiLeaks] only have one policy, and that’s ‘lights on, rats out’ – that is, to bring as much attention and exposure to what’s happening in Canberra as possible, and to drive out opportunistic or corrupt players. Canberra is a debauchery ... by taking Australia’s elected representatives who are meant to represent their electorates ... and putting them in isolation in Canberra together with the bureaucrats and the foreign embassies – that’s a toxic environment. These people will go to cocktail parties and luncheons with the same people in the city, they’ll develop social and business relationships. In that little, isolated artificial city, they’re not involved in the local community, they’re not even going to lunch with the regular middle-sized business leaders, so even the type of corruption in Canberra is not an average type of corruption because we’ve moved the politicians away from the people.

What does that mean in practical terms?

How will your involvement with WikiLeaks help? We’ve become experts of dealing with millions of documents on foreign policy and bureaucracy, people trying to cover 50 50

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them up, and people trying to apply pressure to us to stop it and defeating that pressure. So I see quite a strong connection with what we do as an organisation and what we expect to do as a political party in the Senate.

Have you had support from Aussie politicians? The Australian Labor government took the most hostile reaction to WikiLeaks of any government in the world, including the US. The Australian Labor Party has been so corrupted by its connections with the US government that it fell over backwards to demonstrate publicly that it was going to go in for me even harder than the US. It pronounced a “whole of government investigation” – that’s what Julia Gillard called it – the Attorney General looked for ways to cancel my passport, the AG’s office was instructed by cabinet to find ways to see if I could be charged with treason, the Australian Federal Police came back and said he’s committed no crime under Australian law. The Australian press, fortunately, came into bat for me, and so the Australian population made its displeasure known with what was happening, so eventually there was a public fallback.

Do you really think you can win a Senate seat? Yes. We will have to struggle to not win it based on polling. That said, there’s a lot of ways to lose. But [there are] now four or five polls showing that I have between 25-28 per cent of the vote over the past year or so. It’s remarkably consistent and the level of support by the Australian community is even higher, that’s in the 60-70 per cent range.

Photos: Getty; Allen Clark Photography

Having the ability to use the Senate to break immoral gag orders on the Australian press; to deal with many cases of self-censorship, where the press is too scared to speak about the issue because the people being spoken about are very powerful; to introduce legislation which ensures there is proper, frequent communication on the internet which has become our central communications mechanism ... Also use the Senate committee process as a process to cross-examine and interrogate various complex Australian bureaucratic structures.

Thumbs up: Assange at the embassy

Back in 2010, you were accused of sexual assault by two women. Why don’t you face the charges? When you embarrass very, very powerful groups like the US and its allies ... then you get a lot of smear coming back the other way ... There are no charges – that’s an important grounding point. If the Swedish government wants to speak to me, [they can] come here, or alternatively provide a guarantee that I will not be extradited to the US. The Ecuadorian government has asked for that, it’s not just me asking for this, it’s perfectly normal – these guarantees are given all the time. They won’t provide a guarantee, they won’t provide a reason they won’t provide a guarantee, they won’t come to the Ecuadorian Embassy. It’s simply an unreasonable way to behave. The Ecuadorian government received my application for asylum, processed it and formally found that my fears of persecution by the US ... were reasonable and as a result I was granted political asylum.

So you believe there are political motivations? I don’t want to say that there are political motivations ... But the entire situation has been politicised and is something that has been pushed by the US. When a matter reaches a certain political level, normal justice is thrown out the window, so normal due process is disregarded, and that is something that’s happened in this case, in the US case, in the case of Bradley Manning, it’s happening right now in the case of Edward Snowden with the US trying to interfere with his rights to asylum, just like the British government is trying to interfere with my right to asylum.

Why do you think support is so high? I would like to believe it’s because I am an expression of Australian culture, and WikiLeaks has a disproportionate number of Australians involved not just because they’re friends of mine ... it’s something that resonates with Australians and the Australian culture. Australians don’t like wankery. Another way of saying that is Australians don’t like lies. And we’re an organisation that exists to expose the most powerful lies. But I suspect there’s also a fair degree of sympathy with my personal situation, the abandonment by the Australian government of WikiLeaks as an Australian organisation that has been successful, [and] me, as a person. And Australians don’t want to see that precedent being set.

How will it work logistically if you win? If I’m elected, I’m meant to take my Senate seat in July 2014. Hopefully [my] situation will be resolved by then. It is in essence a political situation, it involves the prestige of a number of states, so it is, to a degree, fluid. If it is resolved by that time in the US, and it drops its investigation against me, and the Swedes drop their investigation, then I can return to Australia. If that doesn’t happen, if the US continues its investigation and there is no safe passage then, I won’t be able to take up my seat in Australia. If after two months I still cannot take my seat, then the Senate can elect to give me further time, or not ... Let’s assume it doesn’t, because I think I know where they’re at, then my running mate can take the seat, or any publicly recognised member of the WikiLeaks Party can take the seat until such time as I am able to return.

WikiLeaks has exposed classified information about governments, military, politicians, corporations. What motivates you to make secret information public? Some days I think it’s just that I don’t like lying arseholes [laughs]. And other days when I’m feeling less combative and more cerebral, then I just think I like educating people. And by education I don’t mean chalk in the classroom, although that’s part of it. I mean adult education: what kind of world do we live in? How does it actually work? If you do this what happens? I hate these moralising journalists – although I must confess that I probably do seem to be one – who say you should care about this. Why? Why should someone care more about themselves, their family, their business and then the community? Yes, of course, everyone should care a little bit about everyone else, but, of course, they should also care more about their children than someone else’s children ... that’s the way things should be.

By leaking classified military information, do you feel you’ve done anything wrong? We don’t need to talk about feelings, because we have facts. The facts are, despite the propaganda, no government, not the Pentagon, not the CIA, not the White House, no government department says a single person has come to physical harm from our publications. So the answer is no.

Will you ever be a free man? Well, I’m free now in the most important respect. My thoughts are free and I can speak. ❚ tntMagazine.com

SPORTNEWS

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Origin 3: How Queensland got to 12-10 and eight series in a row

Johnathan Thurston darts through to score the first try. Converts. 6-0

James McManus scampers over in the corner for NSW to make it 8-4

Justin Hodges is pumped after crushing over to make it 12-4

Still a game, a Blues forward Trent Merrin scores. 12-10 with 10 to go

Then this lunatic, Wati Holmwood, streaks. The big fella can move...

‘Til he falls and gets crushed by cops and security. A QLD try is disallowed

BRONCOS UP FOR THE WIGAN CHALLENGE RUGBY LEAGUE

The London Broncos have nothing to lose when they take on Super League ladder leaders Wigan Warriors for a spot in the Challenge Cup final. Sitting bottom of the ladder Tony Rea’s Broncos can already call the Challenge Cup the highlight of their year so far. But an appearance at Wembley would be more than they could have hoped for. Watch the semi-final live on the BBC – yep, that’s right, free-to-air rugby league – on Saturday from 5pm. While the Broncos reached the semi with a comfortable 29-10 win over secondtier Sheffield Eagles, Wigan smashed Super League side Widnes Vikings 48-4. On Sunday Hull FC and the Aussiestacked top-three side Warrington Wolves play for the other spot at 6pm in Hull. The final will be played on August 24. 52

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SUPERSTARS OFFER A PRE-SEASON TREAT FOOTBALL

If not the most successful clubs of the past few years – which they are – Barcelona and Bayern Munich are the most easy on the eye sides in the world. So there’s that. Then there’s the fact that the German champions tore the Spanish title holders a new one 7-0 on aggregate in their home and away UEFA Champions League semifinal, in the most dominant display against the modern day Barca side. It’ll be the first proper test for Bayern’s new manager, Pep Guardiola, who went on holiday after he won basically everything he could with Barcelona and turned them into the stylish ticca-tacca geniuses they are. The prospect of what he could do with the best team in Europe is scary. Watch this ‘friendly’ live on Wednesday at 7.45pm on Sky Sports 1.

BIG WEEK FOR ... This week is the moment Jamie Soward came to the UK for – a chance to make himself a hero and lead the London Broncos to the Challenge Cup final. The former St George Dragon who has signed for Penrith for four years told TNT recently that part of the appeal of a short-term deal in London was the prospect of playing at Wembley and against the best in the Super League. Well, he’s against Wigan, the best, and if he wins, he’s off to Wembley. He was rested against Widnes on Friday and should be firing.

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THE ASHES 2013

Run-machine: can Ricky Ponting raise his bat for one more batting milestone?

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TNT’s extensive Ashes coverage as the Aussies fight to return the urn

PREVIEW RICKY PONTING’S LAST LONDON GAME FRIENDS LIFE T20: SURREY V KENT FRI, 6.30PM, KIA OVAL

The career of the great man Ricky Ponting is winding to a close and this Friends Life Twenty20 clash against Kent at the Oval will be his last competitive game on English soil. The former Australian captain, threetime World Cup winner and one of the fiercest competitors to have played cricket has hit a purple patch in the past couple of weeks. He was at his classiest best to grind out a match-saving 169 not out to save Surrey from defeat against Notts at the Oval in the

County Championship – not a bad way to wrap up his first class career. Punter then backed it up in the shortest form of the game against Essex last week with 65 at the top of the order for Surrey. Sumptuous lofted cover drives, ramp shots and blistering pull shots were all on show. Surely he can produce some fireworks for this final group game. At the least, it’s one last chance to pinch yourself at a standing ovation for Ponting, a source of vitriol for years with England fans but taken under their wing thanks to his impressive showings since his stint began at the Oval a few short months ago. Get tickets via kiaoval.com.



Full reports on every session



All the latest Ashes news

   

Photo galleries Opinions & blogs Bluffer’s guides Greatest Ashes sledges

Photos: Getty

TV HIGHLIGHTS RUGBY LEAGUE

FOOTBALL

St Helens v Wigan Warriors

UEFA Women’s Euro 2013

Super League giants in the north Mon, 7.45pm, Sky Sports 1 and 3D

Final – teams TBA Sun, 2.15pm, BBC Three

FOOTBALL

FORMULA 1

UEFA Women’s Euro 2013

Hungarian Grand Prix

Semi-finals – teams TBA Wed & Thur, 7pm, BBC Three

Live Super League action Sun, 11.30am, Sky Sports F1

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Track’n’ field of dreams The champions of London 2012 return to relive their Olympic highlights this weekend WORDS MICHAEL GADD

It’s been a year since the amazing scenes of the London Olympic Games made the world gush. Now many of the stars of Stratford are returning to mark the occasion. As many as 29 medalists have been confirmed at various stages to appear at the Sainsbury’s Anniversary Games, which also doubles as the London Grand Prix, the 11th meet of the current IAAF Diamond League and the last major event before the World Championships in Moscow next month. Tickets to the first two days on Friday and Saturday sold out in 75 minutes, such was the thirst of UK sports fans to see legends of London 2012 such as Jamaica’s Usain Bolt, Australia’s Sally Pearson, New Zealand’s Valerie Adams and Team GB champions Jessica Ennis-Hill, Mo Farah and Greg Rutherford, who all won gold within an hour of each other. In other events, all three men’s 110m hurdles Olympics medalists, along with five of the six pole vault medalists from men’s and women’s competitions in London, are in action. Here’s who to look out for this weekend on the BBC’s live coverage or if you’re lucky enough to have a ticket.

Usain Bolt, 100m and 4x100m relay The world’s fastest ever man who won the triple double (100m, 200m and 4x100m gold two Olympics in a row) has a mission for Friday night – beat recently charged drug cheat Tyson Gay’s meet record to add to his 200m mark in London. Bolt has started his season slowly – he got beaten by US sprinter Justin Gatlin in Rome but has gone on to run the fastest 200m of the year in Paris – and had to compete at the Jamaican trials for a spot in Moscow. Job done he’ll compete in the London GP for the first time since 2009.

Mo Farah, 3000m In London, the beloved Mo won 10,000m gold and then backed up to win the 5000m seven days later. Now he can’t walk down the street without seeing someone do a Mobot, 54

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his signature celebration move. In a bit of a controversy by his standards, Farah ran the first half of the London Marathon as a practice ahead of him running the whole thing in the future. This month in Birmingham he beat the two fastest men in the world for the year (Ethiopia’s Hagos Gebrhiwet and Yenew Alamirew) and the 2011 world champ Ibrahim Jeilan, showing he’s in good form.

Jessica Ennis-Hill, 110m hurdles The heptathlon gold medalist has won a pile of honours, including the Laureus World Sport Awards sportswoman of the year. She was also runner-up to Bradley Wiggins for BBC Sports Personality of the Year and awarded Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE). Her autobiography, Unbelievable, came out and her name’s changed since she married Andy Hill in May. Phew. She’s a question mark to compete here due to a “frustrating” ankle injury that’s kept her out of the past few Diamond League meets.

Greg Rutherford, Long jump The flame-haired flyer has beaten his closest rival Australian Mitchell Watt, the Olympics silver medalist to his gold, twice already this year. Rutherford became a star with his win at London, making him the second British man ever to bag Olympic gold in the long jump, and has been a panel show regular since. He’ll go head-to-head again with Watt this weekend.

Kim Collins, 100m A most notable omission from London was the 2003 world champion Collins, who was expelled from his St Kitts and Nevis team for missing training sessions. It would have been his fifth Olympics. “My story from London was well documented, and to have the opportunity a year on to run in The Stadium, is something that I’m really grateful for,” he said. “This is my Olympic final.”

Mrs Multi-talent: Jessica Ennis-Hill

Stayer: Mo Farah

[Caption] Flyer: Greg Rutherford

Rocket: Carmelita Jeter

Jumpy: Sally Pearson

Top shot: Valerie Adams

Valerie Adams, Shot put The rightful gold winner in London had to wait for a special presentation ceremony by the Governor-General Sir Jerry Mateparae in Auckland for her silver medal to change colour. The two-time Olympic and three-time world champion, who won the IAAF Diamond Race last year, was elevated when the original winner, Belarusian Nadzeya Ostapchuk, was stripped of her medal for failing multiple drug tests.

Sally Pearson, 100m hurdles In probably the race of the meet, along with the men’s hurdles, World and Olympic champion Aussie Pearson faces off with 2011 World silver medallist Danielle Carruthers, Olympic bronze medallist Kellie Wells and, if she’s fit, Olympic heptathlon champion Ennis-Hill. She too is coming back from a hamstring injury and hasn’t had an ideal preparation to defend her world title, but surely the emotion of her win at London will see her find another gear.

Carmelita Jeter, 100m The American with the slicked-back hair is the second fastest woman of all time and will appear in the 100m, which she won silver in at The Stadium. She also won 4x100m gold and 200m bronze in London. She’s recovering from a leg injury but will be looking for a big one pre-Moscow.

Kirani James, 400m

Photos: Getty

The big 20-year-old from Grenada will face his silver and bronze medalists from London in Lalonde Gordon and Luguelin Santos. He’s the world and Olympic champ but still has room to improve – Michael Johnson’s record is quivering. BBC will broadcast the London Anniversary Games and Diamond League Grand Prix live: Friday, 7.30pm-8.30pm, BBC Two & 8.30pm10pm, BBC One; Saturday, 1.30pm-5.15pm, BBC One bbc.co.uk

Speedster: Jonnie Peacock

sTRATFORD MEMORIES pARALYMPIC STARS RETURN Just as the London Olympics captured the imagination of the world, the Paralympics which followed broke all manner of attendance records and created many more new sporting heroes. They get another chance to show London their incredible strength, speed and endurance this Sunday as part of the Sainsbury’s London Anniversary Games with a one-off International Paralympic Committee International Challenge. Stars including London gold medalists Jonnie Peacock, Richard Whitehead, Mickey Bushell and Josie Pearson will come to the event fresh from the IPC World Championships in Lyon. Tickets are priced from £12. britishathletics.org.uk

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

Review: if only this meant he was calling for tea – at least then he’d be right once a day

Clarke and Aussies are DRS dunces – it will decide Ashes England’s calm and considered use of video umpire the difference

» Agree or disagree? What do you think of DRS? letters@tntmagazine.com 56

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Another year, another Queensland win in State of Origin – eight in a row is incredible – and another massive loss for the fans of the NRL who support their clubs week in week out. Every year it’s the same – clubs get stripped of their best players for at least three weeks, not factoring in the inevitable injuries. Splitting rounds with half the amount of games during an Origin period makes a bit of difference, and is fairer, but it’s still a massive drain on teams with Origin stars, and a rip-off for fans who buy tickets and get B-level line-ups. In NRL CEO Dave Smith’s unenviable shoes, I’d play Origin over two weeks with

“

It’s not fair on clubs with Origin stars

”

games on the Friday, Wednesday and Sunday. No NRL Games for a fortnight. Other games could include country origin, indigenous teams and other internationals. NSW and Qld would need squads to pull this off, but something needs to change for clubs fans while the NRL fills its boots.

Photo: Getty

Michael Clarke is the savviest, most inventive and entertaining captain in cricket. When he’s playing a result is almost certain and he rarely lets a game float along. For example, his Steve Smith bowling change was a masterstroke. Then why is he so inept when it comes to the Decision Review System (DRS)? The first Test and first two days of the second at Lord’s showed up the difference between the two sides so far – smarter use of the video umpire. While Alastair Cook’s measured policy is to have a mother’s meeting after every decision by the umpire and only review if certain, Clarke and crew love to dance the dyslexic YMCA and make the T sign. For Cook, not wasting referrals in the first Test won it for them. How Brad Haddin’s nick wasn’t given by the umpire is baffling, but the Hot Spot showed it and he was gone. Game over. If Cook had been Clarke, Haddin could have scored 14 more runs and taken the Aussies – undeservedly mind you – to Lord’s 1-0 up in the series. Annoyingly, most chat after that riveting Test was about the DRS, or Stuart Broad not walking when he smashed one. Note none of the Aussies and few former players said he should have walked. At worst, Mark Waugh said he just looked a bit stupid. Of course, it wouldn’t have been a problem if Clarke didn’t waste his reviews. Did the Aussies learn from it for Lord’s? No. Shane Watson, who is always plumb LBW in front, reviewed when he was just that in the first innings. Then Phil Hughes nicked one, got given and reviewed – the video proved the umpire right. Selfishness is the only explanation for these two going upstairs. Chris Rogers, probably fearing the lack of reivews, didn’t go upstairs and he was not out. Again. All reviews were gone then with no chance for Australia to overturn a howler. When we went to press, there were three days of cricket to go and I hope the second Test isn’t/ wasn’t decided on sensible use of DRS, but there’s every chance it will be, and Australia will have no one to blame but themselves.

ORIGIN FORMAT NOT FAIR FOR NRL CLUBS

he country WORLD CLUB 7 s y storm. TWICKENHAM STADIUM THE INAUGURAL

17 - 18 AUGUST 2013

Rugby worth making the trip for this summer!

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A L WE S T ERN PROV I NCE A year Saracens scooped the inaugural trophy and went on to A Uglory. C K Will L AthisN year's D winners do the same? A a Premiership S A N at F7pm R Aon N CFriday I S C5th O August. L Final starts N S£5Afor I NU21s. TS O R£10 T H for A Madults P T O and L kets areNjust B L U Evia Bthe U LHarlequins LS kets available ticket office on A B U EorN online O S at A Iwww.ticketmaster.co.uk. RES A 71 527 1315,

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19/07/2013 09:29:08 17/06/2013 11:32

‘the butcher for all your needs’ polskie mięso, mi so, w wę ędliny i kiełbasy kiełbasy łbasy

BUTCHERS

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19/07/2013 09:30:58

FIGHTING DIRTY Mucky pups get involved at the Boryeong Mud Festival in South Korea, now in its 16th year. The fest celebrates the local mud, which is used in various cosmetics.

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; AJ Hackett Normandie

INSIDE

WEEKENDS FOR £100 /62

ALL-ACTION FRANCE /70

SOUTH AFRICA SURF /74

A trip to one of the UK’s best cities doesn’t need to break the bank. We’ve even done the research for you.

Kayak an iconic battleground, ride horses in a fancy forest and follow a todger off a bridge (seriously) in Normandy.

From isolated Mdumbi Point and Dungeons’ epic waves to Victoria Bay’s stunning scenery, TNT reveals SA’s top surf spots. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TRAVELDIARY

@tntmagazine

Helen Elfer TRAVEL EDITOR

SOUVENIRS OR JUST GET BOOZY? Most of the time, I feel the same about souvenirs as I do about photos – you can waste so much time trying to get the perfect one that you forget to enjoy your holiday. The hand-made silver necklace in India for the ladies, the sexy-but-not-sleazy chunky leather belt from Marrakech for the gents. And no one wants to leave Hanoi without a brilliantly kitsch “I heart pho” T-shirt.

My weakness is dodgy booze from trips abroad. But there’s a good reason why limoncello, raki and menthol-y whatever-that-was in Iceland have never caught on in England – they taste appalling when you drink them here. Even the nastiest spirits can seem amazing in context. A few boneshuddering shots of baijiu slammed at a noisy Chinese dinner table, or a cloudy, head-swimming glass of ouzo on a hot Mediterranean night is all part of the fun. Trying to recreate the experience in a chilly Finsbury Park kitchen with dubious friends that just want to be allowed to crack a beer? Doomed to fail. It’s the same with clothes. Fisherman’s trousers, the height of chic in Goa, are embarrassing in Sainsbury’s. Same goes for the quirky fringed Portuguese shawl and hilarious T-shirt from Bangkok. They just remind you you’re not on holiday anymore, and highlight the painful difference between your sunny, party-filled travel life, and your real one. The obvious answer is to avoid souvenirs altogether. Unless anyone can tell me what that pinky-red spirit they drink after dinner in Spain is? They didn’t have it in duty free and I really want to track down a bottle. It tasted so good in Madrid…

at helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

WORLD BOG SNORKELLING Wales The 28th edition of this bonkers championships takes place over the bank holiday weekend with hundreds of competitors from France, 25 Australia and Scandinavia descending on the tiny town of Llanwrtyd Wells. All are welcome to take on the specially dug out pool of peaty muck – two laps, up and back, of the 55m course achieves you bog snorkelling immortality. AUGUST

WHY: Because it’s so insane you have to give it a crack. You have to wear a mask or goggles, snorkel and flippers, and swim up and back the Waen Rhydd peat bog without normal swimming strokes, so it’s flippers only. Ireland and Australia also hold their own national championships.

FESTIVAL OF THE PIG France

In the French hamlet of Trie Sur Baise, it’s all about the 11 humble pig on the second Sunday of August. Visitors can scoff sausages, watch piglet racing, dress up as pigs or, weirdest of all, take part in the pig imitation competition. AUGUST

franceguide.com

BALLOON FIESTA England

This scenic event in Bristol is the 35th edition of Europe’s 8-11 largest ballooning event, in which more than 150 hot air balloons take to the skies over Ashton Court Estate first thing in the morning, only descending at nightfall. There will also be aerobatic and parachute displays. AUGUST

bristolballoonfiesta.co.uk

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DO IT BECAUSE: The world champ wins a whopping £50! Or there’s a fancy dress prize of £25. Not grabbing you? How about the fact it’s a massive party – buck’s and hen’s dos welcome. The town also hosts other bogthemed sporting events throughout the year. green-events.co.uk

SUMMER SONIC

Japan

Taking place in Tokyo and Osaka, the two cities where 10-11 Summer Sonic is held have similar, but not identical, line-ups. Big acts at both include Metallica, Muse, Linkin Park, Cheap Trick, The Smashing Pumpkins and Cyndi Lauper. AUGUST

summersonic.com

HABANA HIP HOP

Cuba

Could there be a cooler place to nod along to hip 11 hop than the town of Alamar, in east Cuba? Along with the music performances, the festival also includes rap dancing, graffiti art, film screenings and discussions based on political issues. AUGUST

havana-guide.com

Photo: Getty

Do you souvenir? Write in and let us know

Dirty dive: up and back in the muck – are you game?

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SLEEP WITH A STRANGER Hopping into bed with a stranger has long been a perk of the traveller’s care-free life on the road, but now a new website is helping even more backpacking folks to bunk up in hotel rooms together. It’s not what you think though – it’s just to save money. Easynest.com allows single holidaymakers to set up profiles detailing trip dates and destinations so that solo tourists can find each other and share the cost of their accommodation. The site reckons it provides “the opportunity to meet new friends, build your network, create new opportunities, exchange on the city and learn”. Save cash, new buddies – not a risk to be found is there?

Photo: Thinkstock

deal or no deal? Who woulda thunk it – all-inclusive holiday deals are not all they’re cracked up to be, according to a new report. Shocker. A study by Post Office Travel Money compared the cheapest sevennight B&B and all-inclusive packages for two adults departing from London airports and found that, for example, a trip to the Algarve could be £648 cheaper per couple than an all-inclusive break in the same region (where food and drink are included in the fee). On average, B&B trips to Cyprus and Spain’s Costa Blanca were cheaper than all-inclusives, too. Or, alternatively, you could go on holiday somewhere good.

Roomies: probably not what easynest had in mind

racist news report A US TV station that incorrectly reported the names of pilots on-board the Asiana Airlines flight that crashed in San Francisco earlier this month as ‘Sum Ting Wong’ and ‘Wi Tu Low’ – the programme’s anchor having apparently fallen victim to a racially offensive prank – is being sued by the carrier. “We decided to sue KTVU [an Oakland-based Fox affiliate] because Asiana Airlines thinks their news defames our pilots and our company’s reputation,” Kiwon Suh, an Asiana spokesman, said. KTVU has apologised for the error but blamed the National Transportation Safety Board for confirming the names.

red sea last resort Tourists are avoiding Egypt’s Red Sea resorts in droves, despite advice from the Foreign Office that says the region is still safe to visit while there is unrest in other parts of the country, according to industry insiders. Travel review website TripAdvisor said there had been a 20 per cent drop in traffic to reviews of accommodation in the region, while Multicom, a travel technology specialist that supports companies such as lowcostholidays.com and easyJet, told The Telegraph that bookings to Egypt had fallen by nearly two-thirds. On the bright side, this means better discount deals for savvy travellers.

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[Caption] Wales of a time: a scenic stroll around Cardiff Bay is free

Cheap trips UNITED KINGDOM

Liverpool’s Cavern Club and, left, Cardiff Castle

Footie Mecca: visit Old Trafford Castlefields: Manchester

Pretty parks: scenic York

Magical: see the inspirations behind songs of The Beatles

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The Shambles: York’s most famous street

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19/07/2013 14:45:29

UKTRIP

The £100 weekenders A trip to one of the UK’s best cities needn’t break the bank. We’ve even done the research for you WORDS CAROLINE GARNAR

You’ve got £100 in your wallet. Forget one night out in London – try a weekend trip to one of these cities and you’ll have change to spare. Manchester You’ve probably heard the Mancs are ‘madferit’, and you heard right. From football to Britpop, there’s little Mancunians won’t shout about. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em with a trip to the National Football Museum (nationalfootballmuseum.com), which has free entry, or for £16 you can head to Old Trafford for a tour of Manchester United’s stadium and museum (manutd.com/en). For something less, er, football-y, take a stroll around Castlefield, a conservation area that offers a pretty canal, attractive restored warehouses and intricately designed bridges. GET THERE: London to Manchester from £5 each way with uk.megabus.com. SLEEP: Hatters Hostel on Newton Street offers beds from £16.50pn (hattersgroup.com/#uk). EAT: Line your stomach with pie and mash for £5.50 at Pi (pi-chorlton.co.uk). DRINK: The funky Font Bar serves cocktails for a mere £2 (thefontbar.wordpress.com/manchester).

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Wiki Commons

Liverpool Another city full of footie and music, a trip here isn’t complete without a Cavern Club Beatles Magical Mystery Tour (cavernclub.org). The £15.95 fee includes entry into the evening’s show at Cavern Club, featuring a Beatles tribute act, naturally. The tour of Liverpool’s Anfield Stadium costs from £12 (liverpoolfc.com/history/tour-and-museum/tour), while some freebie outings could see you taking a stroll around the Albert Dock heritage site, visiting the Tate (tate.org.uk), or the aquarium, planetarium and big house at the World Museum (liverpoolmuseums.org.uk). GET THERE: London to Liverpool from £5 each way with uk.megabus.com. SLEEP: The YHA Liverpool on Tabley Street offers beds from £13pn (yha.org.uk/hostel/liverpool). EAT: Every Friday The Peacock hosts a free barbecue, 6pm-8pm (peacock-liverpool.com). DRINK: Get in cocktails for £3 at Slaters Bar (slatersbar.co.uk).

York York is one of England’s most attractive and culture-rich towns. It’s worth spending nearly half your budget on a York Pass (£48; yorkpass.com) as this offers you two days of free access to more than 30 attractions, including museums, historic houses and castles, plus a range of discounts. Or get freaked out on a city ghost walk (£5; ghostwalkyork.co.uk) and a trip to York Dungeon (£11; thedungeons.com/york/en). In truth, though, just taking a free stroll around this gorgeous, olde-worlde-style place is all you need. GET THERE: London to York from £8 each way (uk.megabus.com). SLEEP: The Ace Hotel on Micklegate offers beds from just £16pn (acehotelyork.co.uk). EAT: Willow’s ‘early bird’ menu, on offer until 10pm, lets you have one course for £5.95 or two for £7.95 (willowyork.com). DRINK: The Stone Roses may have originated in Manchester, but then who are we to argue with The Stone Roses Bar (stonerosesbaryork.co.uk) when they serve trebles for £2.50? Cardiff

Doctor Who geeks rejoice; you can have an interactive experience with ‘the Doctor’ for just £13 (sounds kinkier than we meant it to; doctorwhoexperience.com). The beautiful Cardiff Bay area is great for a midday stroll, while history buffs should take a look around Cardiff Castle for £11 (cardiffcastle.com) and St Fagans National History Museum, which offers free entry (museumwales.ac.uk/en/stfagans). GET THERE: London to Cardiff from £4 each way with uk.megabus.com. SLEEP: Bunk House on St Mary Street offers beds from £10pn, including entry to onsite club and 10 per cent off drinks (bunkhousecardiff.co.uk). EAT: Fill up on veggie curry, daal, poppadums, Indian breads, sweets and more for £6.25 at the Vegetarian Food Studio Beyond the Fringe: (vegetarianfoodstudio.co.uk). Best of Edinburgh DRINK: For a cheap night, head this summer to 10 Feet Tall for free entry and 2-4-1 cocktails MORE TOP WEEKEND BREAKS before 10pm tntmagazine.com/weekenders (10feettallcardiff.com).

NEXT WEEK

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LATEDEALS

@tntmagazine

Save £182 on a 21-day tour from Delhi to Kochi with STA Travel

DEAL OF THE WEEK MEGA MILAN

£99

Join the fash-pack for two nights with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at St John Hotel. Departs London Luton on Oct 21.

< £250

TNT_1560_064 64

PORTUGAL A seven-night trip to the Algarve in southern Portugal is £431pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116290). The trip includes return flights and three-star, room-only accommodation at Silchoro in Albufeira. Departs from London Gatwick on August 26. TURKEY A seven-night trip is £416pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com). Trip includes return flights and allinclusive accommodation at Petunya Beach Resort in Ortakent, in the Bodrum Peninsula. The hotel is set in gardens by a Blue Flag beach. Departs from London Gatwick on August 29. spain Seven nights in the Costa Blanca in Alicante, Spain is £371pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6290). Includes return flights and four-star, room-only accommodation at Hotel Arco San Juan in Murcia. Departs from London Gatwick on August 12.

> £500 AFRICA A 40-day overland trip from Nairobi in Kenya to Lilongwe in Malawi is £825pp (save £100) with Oasis Overland (01963 363400; oasisoverland.co.uk). Includes all accommodation, transport, some meals and some national park entry fees. Excludes flights and local payment of US$475. Departs from Nairobi August 5. india A 21-day tour from Delhi to Kochi is £1062pp (save £187) with STA Travel (0800 9880390; statravel.co.uk). Includes all tour transport and accommodation, plus some meals and sightseeing. Excludes flights. Departs from Delhi on August 25. DUBAI & SRI LANKA Three nights in Dubai (three-star, B&B at Citymax Bur Dubai), plus seven nights in Sri Lanka (three-star, half-board at Coral Sands) is £749pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes return flights. Book by July 24. Valid for travel August 1-30.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS Go to tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

Money transfers Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa.

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BERLIN A two-night trip is £99pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes return flights and four-star, room-only accommodation at Grand City East hotel. Departs from London Luton on October 22. KRAKOW A two-night trip to Krakow in Poland is £187pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6290). Trip includes return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at Sympozjum. Departs from London Stansted on August 20. MADRID A two-night trip is £98pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes return flights and three-star, room-only accommodation at Togumar Hotel. Departs from London Gatwick on October 2. JERSEY A four-night trip to Jersey is £245pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116290). The trip includes return flights and three-star, B&B accommodation at Hotel de Normandie. Flights depart from London Southend on August 29. KRAKOW A two-night trip to Krakow in Poland is £99pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; holidays.easyjet.com). The trip includes return flights and three-star, B&B accommodation at Bluebells Apartments. Departs from London Southend on September 23.

£250 – £500

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19/07/2013 13:15:50

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PATRICIA MONTENEGRO Talks travel photography

WINNER

3-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND + PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

WIN

Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

RUNNER-UP

WINNER

RUNNER-UP

FLIPPING OVER THE SUNSET Luke Hockey, Australia

PADDY MAN Wendy Van Leeuwen, Netherlands

WHY IT WORKS Straight to the pool room, or another appropriate wall, with this beauty taken in San Juan Del Sur in Nicaragua. “I escaped here over the past winter,” Luke tells us. “Myself and friends were practicing our best karate kicks into the hostel pool while enjoying one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.” The interaction between shadows and light, and the fact it looks like a stack of fun make this a cracker.

WHY IT WORKS This shot was taken in northern Vietnam at the start of June, just as the rice paddies were turning green again. Wendy tells us this young man was preparing the rice plants to be taken closer to the fields. “We were just walking past when he looked at us (my camera is always on!),” she says. “It was a really lucky shot – many times we were too far away to take action photos of activities on the paddies.”

WHERE IN THE WORLD?

A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

WIN

Going away somewhere soon? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

NORTH BEACH, DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA John Stokes, from London, England

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TOP FIVE

adults-only holidays

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Adventure holiday, costa rica

Do you hear that screeching noise? It’s getting louder ... holy crap, it’s the sound of the school holidays. And you know those crazy kids will soon be on your plane, in your hotel, ruining your vacation. Unless, that is, you book an adults-only trip. God bless the clever companies who are offering tot-free tours and getaways. We are forever in your debt. One such company is Activities Abroad, which offers a seriously awesome-sounding 13-day trip to Costa Rica for groups of people aged 18 and over. It is a budget blower, but your £1995 covers 12 nights’ accommodation, transfers, most meals and all activities. Meeting at San Jose Airport, and after a good night’s sleep, you will first enjoy a tour of a coffee estate before dining above the lights of Costa Rica. Day three will see you taking a boat trip through the rainforest to Tortuguero National Park to explore. The next day you’ll kayak through the Tortuguero Canals before hiking through the rainforest and catching 66 00

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a twilight boat ride. On the fifth day you’ll travel inland to Sarapiqui and relax before your adrenalin-packed day six, which involves white-water rafting, horse riding and mountain biking as well as a walk along the tree-top canopy and a 275-metre zip wire across the Sarapiqui River. After camping overnight, you’ll then head to Arenal Volcano for a hike and to swap your tent for a luxury hotel. The next day you’ll canyon your way through the surrounding waterfalls. This trip is about more than selfindulgent fun too, as day nine sees you planting trees with local school children, and day 10 offers a visit to an animal rescue centre, where you can get close to creatures of the rainforest who have had their homes destroyed by deforestation. If all this leaves you exhausted, the last two days let you recuperate on Costa Rica’s Pacific Coast. activitiesabroad.com

FLAGGING GUIDE: SEX AND TRAVEL tntmagazine.com/flagging-guide

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city tour, western europe

Picking you up in Amsterdam and dropping you off in Barcelona, this whistle-stop tour stops off at Paris, the Alpine town of Lucerne and the stunning French Riviera on its way. Join your group, aged 18-35, for a tour of the Dam’s Red Light District, a trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower, a night at the Monte Carlo casino and more. The 11-day coach tour costs from £1305 including hotels, breakfast, five dinners and most activities. contiki.com

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock, Facebook

Adrenalin trip, french alps

If you’re short on time but want to cram in as much adventure as possible, spend two days in the Alpine town of Morzine and join your adults-only group for mountain biking, rafting, hydrospeeding and Via Feratta. The latter two, in case you don’t know, involve flying down rapids using just a foam board and flippers, and climbing mountains using a fixed cable and iron rungs, respectively. The £429 fee includes return transport from Geneva, chalet stay, meals and activities. activitiesabroad.com

boozy bender, kavos

Cave comfort

What’s an adults-only holiday round-up without a break that involves drinking until you puke, having sex on the beach, clubbing until the sun comes up and general alcohol-fuelled carnage? Promising less-grotty hotels than your classic 18-30s shit holes, Thomson’s 2wentys holidays is offering a stay at Odysseus in Kavos, Corfu, with one person going for free if six book in one go (£459pp). Grab your mates and a spare liver and have the time of your life. thomson.co.uk

erotic escapade, bangkok

If you watched The Hangover II and thought, ‘That looks like the best holiday ever’, you’re a crazy fool! But it seems you’re not alone, as you can now tour the Bangkok bars featured in the film. With a hotel pick-up, your guide will take you to the infamous ping pong shows, lady-boy clubs and an ‘erotic’ show featuring a 2m boa constrictor. You will also take a crazy tuk-tuk ride across the city and be given a face tattoo to rival Stu’s (although yours will wash off) for £43 including two drinks.

Serinn house overview Good luck finding a more welcoming hotel experience than Serinn House, a five-room cave hotel in Ürgüp, in the heart of Cappadocia in Turkey’s Central Anatolia. Serinn is a haven from the heat and a home away from home, with hands-on owner-operator Eren a whiz at making her guests’ stay a beauty, from occasional home-cooking to restaurant and tour recommendations. Ürgüp is larger yet less touristy than the popular Göreme, so there’s plenty going on within easy walking distance. Wow factor Pure hospitality. The breathtaking view with a tasty traditional spread at brekkie, personal service and proximity to one of the world’s most amazing places. rooms All rooms are uniquely refurbished caves, and cool (which is what Serinn means) in the heat. The fittings are bare bones (you don’t need a TV with the view on the verandah) but super stylish, with plush beds, fine cotton linens, deluxe bathrooms and free wi-fi access. bills please Rooms cost from £100pn for a double room with breakfast included.

serinnhouse.com

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Island hopping: stop at Korcula on a Croatian island cruise

STEPH MILLINGTON Europe and Middle East product manager Intrepid Travel

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Q I want to go sailing around the Croatian islands this summer, but they are all weeklong cruises. Is there anything shorter, or would it be better to get the Jadrolinija ferry between the islands? Alice, via email

READERS’ TIPS ON SOUTH AFRICA SMASH AND GRABS When driving, take care at traffic lights as this is when robberies often happen. Keep your car doors and windows locked at all times. Sarah Kennedy TOP TABLE If you plan to go on the cable car on Cape Town’s Table Mountain, check the website (tablemountain.net) first as it’s often out of service due to the weather. Nathan Woods 68

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A Good news, hvar-adventure.com may have what you are looking for. It offers a five-day sailing trip on board a skippered yacht stopping at Brac, Hvar and Vis. It then continues to Biševo, where you can visit the famous Blue Cave, a grotto with turquoise waters providing a surreal indoor swimming experience. It continues to Korcula, Mijet and on to Dubrovnik. Hvar Adventure prices its tours by boat, rather than per person, with this trip setting you back around a hefty £2585 in the height of summer. You can split the cost between up to

six people, so it’s wise to find a few like-minded travellers to reduce the cost of the trip. Alternatively, if you’re looking for a budget trip, use the Jadrolinija ferry service and create your own itinerary. However, most routes run from the mainland, not between islands, so you could spend a lot of time going back and forth. A feasible route to avoid this would be: Split to Stari Grad (Hvar) on to Korcula and then to Dubrovnik. Although you’ll miss out on some of the smaller islands. Most of this journey is bookable online as single tickets (jadrolinija. hr) – advisable as visiting Croatia’s islands is incredibly popular in summer. You should note the Split to Stari Grad leg is a local service so you’ll need to buy a ticket from a Jadrolinija office. There are lots of daily services to Hvar but they do sell out quickly so arrive early.

The best thing you’ve ever eaten? A paella in Valencia, loaded with succulent prawns, squid, mussels and clams. Paella originates from Valencia so it’s the place for the real deal. Your favourite region for food? The Galicia region has lots of artisan producers, no-fuss seafood dishes straight from the sea, and local wine drunk from ceramic bowls. Best cheap eats? Markets are a great way to buy fresh food cheaply – try Santa Catarina in Barcelona, the San Blas markets in Logrono, or Mercado de Abastos in Allariz. Also, eat well at lunchtime – most Spanish restaurants offer a ‘menu del dia’ for a fixed price. Or do as the locals do and go on a tapascrawl, or a txikiteo as it’s known in Basque country.

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Whyyyy!?: TNT’s Michael was seduced by the beauty but not convinced by bungee jumping [Caption]

Normandy France

POOLE

Cherbourg UTAH BEACH LA HAGUE

Forest ride; and (left) tribute at Utah Beach

ASNELLES BAYEUX

BAGNOLES-DE-L’ORNE

france

GETTING GETTINGTHERE THERE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Brittany Ferries sail from Poole (also Portsmouth) to Cherbourg from £29 each way. brittany-ferries.co.uk

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Hiking: La Hague’s landscapes change every time you look up [Caption]

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Going wild in Normandy Kayak an iconic battleground, ride horses in a fancy forest and follow a todger off a bridge (seriously) in this French action haven Words Michael gadd

A man dressed as a penis is laughing – it’s a surprisingly calming influence. The Superman costume hanging behind the counter is a genuinely enticing option. An hour ago I was raving about the stupidity it must take to jump off a bridge, but now I’m about to do it, seduced by the beauty of AJ Hackett’s rural France outpost and the blast everyone else seems to be having – forget about my hatred of heights. It turns out Normandy has so many opportunities to do fun things that you’ll even say yes to the ones you find crazy. This part of the world is no stranger to action, its coastline the site of the vital US, British and Allied forces’ Operation Overlord, or D-Day landings, in June 1944 which led to winning France back from Germany and the beginning of the end of World War II. These days more foreign visitors shoot from Cherbourg, where the UK ferry docks – down the motorways to southern beaches, that is. It’s a huge mistake as they’re bypassing this awesome adult playground, where you can do nothing but eat and drink the local camembert and calvados or get stuck into the extreme. With its expansive rural settings and stretches of beaches, active adventures are everywhere and in three days I give a bunch of them a crack. I begin with a hike along the ragged, beautiful headlands of La Hague Peninsula, where every look up is a new painting worthy of the hundreds of artists (such as Monet) for whom it’s their muse – cliff faces, deserted beaches (more time and I was in) or paddocks with freshly bailed hay or doe-eyed local cattle who I can’t help but thank for their fine cheese (if the milk doesn’t come from these brown-eyed girls, it’s not camembert). As my group and I follow guide Marylene, I’m captivated by the paragliders floating peacefully overhead, and how they seem to be multiplying. This area isn’t known for the sunshine of southern France, as each morning we get an overcast mist, but that just makes the afternoon rays more appreciated – unspoiled and with every passer-by greeting us with a grin, or in my case a laugh as I stop to chat to and photograph another cow, it’s a sign of what’s to come. The next day I experience the perfect education and adventure balance with a visit to the Utah Beach Museum at Sainte Marie du Mont and a sea-kayaking expedition off Asnelles, amid the remaining parts of the man-made Mulberry harbours that made the D-Day landings possible. To do one after the other is a must, as our guide Christian, a local who volunteers each June, gives a remarkable – and

balanced – account of what challenges soldiers faced and their incredible feats in overcoming them. The museum is built to resemble a bunker – its first room in 1962 was actually a German bunker – and at most times you can see out to Utah Beach, where 800,000 soldiers came through. At the end of the tour Christian tells me his dad had a farm two miles away and had his horses taken by the Germans (“The day the war ended he took them back, but they spoke German now,” he joked), and was a retired veteran himself – no wonder his stories were

“

This place makes you say yes to crazy things

”

delivered with such insight and passion. There are too many mind-blowing stories to tell here, but look up the exploits of Theodore Roosevelt Jnr and legendary bomber pilot Major David Dewhurst (whose millionaire sons recreated his B-26 bomber in a hangar at Utah Beach) for a good gist. ›› We now drive less than an hour to watersports hub

Berry inspiring: kayaking among what’s left of a Mulberry harbour

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Centre de Loisirs Nautiques in Asnelles, next to Arromanches-lesBains, which was codenamed Gold Beach during the war. Even though the “Mulberry” here (one of two which were each a series of almost 150 five-storey concrete structures floated from the UK and dumped in formation with roads and more to unload vital supplies and weaponry) was decommissioned six months after the landings, many blocks remain. With guide Antony I get to paddle inside one of the behemoth blocks – totally humbling. It could have been a paddle off a beautiful beach, but with the context of Utah Beach, I could begin to try and imagine what happened here in what is now such a peaceful town. If the wind was up and the waves too much, we could have gone sand yachting with Antony’s boss, Francois, the sport’s reigning world champion. Definitely next time. With our arms spent, the next day is a chance to sit and watch beautiful scenery go by … on a horse. Danish-French guide Caroline tells us much of the gorgeous, muddy forest of Saint Evroult we cover over a couple of hours has been rented from Xavier Louis Vuitton, and they keep his horses. It’s definitely the domain of the other half but down-to-earth and welcoming is staple here – as we find in the homemade cake and wine we sample on our return. You can also hike in this movie setting.

And now for that silly jump. Reading up on the place, I hope my story of survival matches that of the Viaduc de la Souleuvre that holds the ‘world’s longest suspension bridge to nowhere’ and platform for the 61m drop (the world’s biggest where you can touch the water). A vital train track during the war, it was never hit by bombs – not for a lack of trying from the nearby craters. I feel comforted by the slick confidence of the staff as I focus on the farmland ahead that was once a battlefield and the forest I’m surrounded by, and recall the guy on his stag do dressed as a todger. A brief freeze on the edge overcome, I launch off to nearly touch the river. It’s exhilarating, fun almost, although I wish I’d tucked my shirt in (or worn the Superman get-up), but the Leffe I inhale at the cafe at the bottom makes more sense than this fleeting jump – like Normandy, a nice beer or glass of wine should be savoured, and taken again. ❚ La Hague hiking, guide £4.70pp lahague-tourisime.com Kayak Asnelles, £8.60ph per single (£13ph per double) charavoile-asnelles.net Horseriding, £17 an hour or full day for £52 harasdesbruyeres.fr AJ Hackett bungee £102 (£145 with video/pics/shirt) ajhackett.com

WATCH MICK’S NORMANDY BUNGEE JUMP tntmagazine.com/bungee-sook

next week Ciao Sicilia: TNT checks out the tiny Italian volcanic island of Stromboli

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Since you’ll be driving around, look for this sign (left) on the side of the road or go to the website below to seek one out anywhere in France. Les Routiers is the guarantee of a cracking value three-course feed with wine for nix (about a tenner). It’s the stop of choice for truckies and travellers have caught on. routiers.co.uk

Everything good about French food and people is on show at Le Racine in Saint-Germaine-des-Vaux. Owner and head chef Tony is a character, who smokes his own fish, duck and anything else good. Go for a set menu for £15.50 or £23, but be sure local ‘sausage’ Andouille is part of it. And leave room for dessert. restaurant-leracine.com

Not exactly a bank breaker (fourcourse treat is less than £25), but a more refined experience to the homely regional eateries is Restaurant O Gayot in Bagnole-deLorne. Modern with twists on classics and desserts such as the mint fiesta above (ganache, ice-cream, mousse, gel and tuile). ogayot.com

drink

In the Calvados you have to get stuck into local cider, and the Ferme de la Sapiniére a short drive from Utah Beach does free tasting along with its tours of the orchards and production process. Its signature drop won gold at the 2012 French Agricultural Show à Paris, so you know it’s good. No White Lightning here, folks. producteur-cidre.com

The charismatic owner and waiter Pierre-Henri Lemessier makes it clear on entry to Restaurant Wine Bar Le Volet qui Penche in Bayeux that his joint is all about drinking wine and eating with it. Three courses is £13 and it’s about the same for a top-notch bottle of local plonk to set up a terrific evening. (3, I’Impasse de I’Islet, Bayeux; tel. +332 3121 9854)

Normandy doesn’t really do pubs or bars without a big focus on food, but in Deauville you’ll find some mighty fine drinking holes. The American Bar at Lucien Barriére Hotel is a chance to splash out in style, with a glass of house white £10 or champagne £16. But it’s really a whisky bar, and they start at £19. lucienbarriere.com

sleep

Quaint, comfortable and set up especially for hikers is Hotel La Roche du Marais in the La Hague village of Omonville Little. All rooms look out onto fields, water and/ or the garden. You could have a worse day than staying here from £56 a night and eating at nearby Le Racine (see midrange eat). Brekkie included. larochedumarais.fr

If you want comfort and to know everything is where it should be, try the four-star Novotel Bayeux between Caen and Cherbourg from £76 a night. You can walk to local attraction the Bayeux Tapestry, drink over-priced beers in the bar or explore the town. See above for a top place to eat and drink. novotel.com

Brand new B’O Cottage in Bagnolesde-l’Orne does its best deal on rooms per week with the cheapest ranging from £192 in low season to £427 in peak. This place (left) is all about time standing still, chilling out and taking advantage of its sister spa a short walk down the hill. The town itself looks like a beautiful painting. bo-cottage.com

eat

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Photos: Michael Gadd; Thinkstock; AJ Hackett Normandie

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Secret surf spots

botswana

Johannesburg

South Africa

south africa

GETTING THERE Fly from London Heathrow to Johannesburg from £522, or to Cape Town from £654, both via Dubai, with Emirates. emirates.com

Cape Town

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Surf’s up, South Africa From isolated Mdumbi Point and Dungeons’ epic waves to Victoria Bay’s stunning scenery, TNT reveals SA’s top surf spots Words Kate McCulley

When you think of surfing in South Africa, you probably picture the Eastern Cape’s Jeffreys Bay. J-Bay, as it’s known, has long led the pack, its beautiful break drawing surfers from around the world. But there’s much more to South African surfing, and the real gems show up once you escape the most popular beaches. From emerging towns along the Garden Route, to rugged communities of the Wild Coast, and chill spots just outside Cape Town, South Africa is bursting with excellent places to catch a wave – and, of course, there are two oceans at your disposal. Here’s our pick of the best lesser-known spots. Mdumbi Point The Wild Coast is home to some of South Africa’s must-visit undiscovered surf spots – including Mdumbi, an isolated beach in the rural Transkei region. When conditions are good, its famous wave can run as long as 1km. This is a simple, protected and secluded beach, far from the masses. Without many modern amenities, some surfers come for a few days and stay for weeks. Mdumbi offers easy access to other beaches of the Wild Coast. Advanced surfers can find their way to Ntlonyane and Mapuzi. Need to reconnect with civilisation? Head for Coffee Bay, a popular backpacker spot where the parties last all night and the waves are gentle enough for novices. Take advantage of your time on the Wild Coast by getting to know the friendly Xhosa community that calls this region home. You’ll get a glimpse of African life as it’s been lived for centuries. Mdumbi Backpackers (mdumbi.co.za) offers budget accommodation in traditional Xhosa-style huts just steps from the beach. Stay longer and they’ll show you their projects helping the local community – as well as unusual surf spots yet to be discovered by the masses. Highlight: Mdumbi’s seclusion ensures that you’ll see more wildlife than on more developed beaches. Keep your eyes peeled for pods of dolphins or even whales in the distance. If you’re really lucky, you’ll see wild horses roaming the beach. How to Get There: Mdumbi is a 4.5-hour drive from East London, which you can fly to from Cape Town or Johannesburg with SA Express (flyexpress.aero) from £100

one-way. The ride from Coffee Bay is a 23km journey over a rough gravel road. Mdumbi Backpackers offers a shuttle service from Coffee Bay or the Mthatha/ Umtata Baz Bus stop. Victoria Bay Victoria Bay, just south of George in the heart of the Garden Route, has long been known as a surfers’ pit stop halfway between Cape Town and J-Bay. Flanked by a coastal forest and suitable for all levels of surfers, Vic Bay has grown into a standalone destination guided by fiercely loyal locals. The waves are consistent, and the scene is quiet and serene most of the time, but expect busier days when the surf is good, especially in the summer. Novice surfers paddle in slowly; more advanced surfers jump straight off the rocks. Vic Bay Surfari (vicbaysurfari.co.za) offers budget lodging just along the beach along with surf camps and trips up the coast to other hot Garden Route surf haunts. With a location so close to the Garden Route, Vic Bay is perfectly situated for further exploration. Of course, there’s always surfing in Mossel Bay or Buffalo Bay – but check out the adventures on dry land in Knysna or Sedgefield as well. Highlight: In a country known for its incredible natural beauty, Vic Bay is especially stunning. Surrounded by cliffs and lush green forest with mountains in the distance, this may be the most beautiful surf spot in all of South Africa. How to Get There: Victoria Bay is a 15-minute drive from George, which you can fly direct to from Johannesburg or Cape Town with SA Express (flyexpress.aero) from £75 one way. Elands Bay Elands Bay – also known by its Afrikaans name, Elaandsbaai – is a small, quiet town located on the Western Cape’s remote northwest coast: a zone relatively unknown to backpacker masses. Elands Bay is a small town, with little more than a few small stores and places to stay. But while it may be quiet here, it’s not obscure. Surfers from around the world make the journey to Elands Bay to experience the world-class left break. The surf is at its best from October to March, when summer winds create ideal conditions. Still, thanks to the ›› tntMagazine.com

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Take a break: (clockwise) paddling out; catching the waves; sunset surf; meet the crocs at Oudtshoorn

Photos: Cango Wildlife Ranch, Thinkstock, Whitsundays Jetski Tours

chilly waters of the Atlantic Ocean, you’ll need your wetsuit year-round. You won’t find endless parties in Elands Bay, nor surf camps or schools, and the town is becoming a popular family travel destination. But the core of this area is still surfing – and, when it’s good, you’ll have to fight for your space among locals as well as weekend-tripping Capetonians. While cheap accommodation can be difficult to find in this tiny town, Vensterklip (vensterklip.co.za) offers simple selfcatering cottages and campsites 5km from the waves. With lots more surf spots a short drive away, including Sours and Standfontein, this is one place where it’s best to have a car. Highlight: Good luck finding a better left break – Elands Bay has one of the best on the African continent, making it a must-surf destination in South Africa. This wave is ideal for intermediate to advanced surfers. HOW TO GET THERE: Elands Bay is best accessed by driving. Head north from Cape Town on the 7 until Piketberg and keep going on the 366 until you hit the ocean. The journey should take about three hours.

– few surfers make it into these waves, and most are content to simply watch from a boat. For nearby budget accommodation, check out Hout Bay Backpackers (houtbaybackpackers.co.za), where you can rent boards and check out the more relaxed beaches. Hout Bay, just minutes from Cape Town, has a suburban, small-town atmosphere. HIGHLIGHT: Do you really need to ask? It doesn’t get any more extreme than this. Between the enormous waves, freezing cold

Dungeons Do you have a death wish? Dungeons is where you go for the most epic waves in Africa – in fact, on the planet. This is definitely not for beginners. Dungeons, located in Hout Bay, just outside Cape Town, is only accessible by boat and only active in the winter months. Here you’ll find icy swells of four to 14 metres caused by waves coming from Antarctica and the South Atlantic. It’s divided into two sections: the slab, the easier of the two; and the 2.5, the one whose waves are always pictured in “extreme surfing” photos. Don’t expect much of a vibe here 76

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water and fellow maniacs surfing the waves, this is something only professionals should consider. But what a badge of glory. HOW TO GET THERE: Hout Bay is a short drive from Cape Town. Dungeons is accessible by boat or jet skis leaving from Hout Bay Harbour. The journey takes about 15 minutes. ❚

MORE BAD-ASS SPORTS Sick of surf? Never! But if you’re looking to recharge your batteries with a land-based adventure, try these:

Crocodile cage diving, Oudtshoorn Get into a cage halfway submerged in water as crocodiles slink around you. Cango Wildlife Ranch, one of the few places in the world that offers this unique wildlife encounter, charges from £22pp for 15-minute crocodile cage dives. cango.co.za Bungee jumping in Stormsriver This isn’t just any bungee jump – this is the world’s highest commercial bungee jump! Not a bad achievement to add to your resume. Leap from the Stormsriver Bridge into the forest as the river thunders ominously below. Face Adrenalin offers jumps from £50pp. faceadrenalin.com

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Blokarting in Cape Town Speeding along Muizenberg Beach, harness the wind and use it to power your own personal sailboat on wheels. Sail circles around your friends without touching the water. Blokart Muizenberg offers 30-minute NEXT NEXT WEEK WEEK blokarting sessions from £6.65pp. [Place] Kicking it in Xxxxxxxx From Colombia: blokartcapetown.co.za

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s n o i t a n i t s De ENTURE ADV

FULL SPEED Go extreme in South America

PLUS GREAT RAIL TRAILS BUDGET AFRICA DANGEROUS DESTINATIONS TNT_1560_079 79

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE

Snap happy: go on safari in Botswana

Under the sea: explore Egyptâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s waters

Rough paradise: rooftops of Zanzibar

On the nose: wine tasting in South Africa

tntmagazine.com/destinations

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budget ADVENTURES > africa

Budget action in Africa Want an African adventure but don’t have the funds to fuel an epic trip? Worry not – try these holidays of a lifetime without losing your life savings in the process Words alasdair morton

frica is a continent brimming with adventure and, even better, at budget prices. So don’t splash the cash on a five-star safari or a luxury beach resort; take our top tips, from scuba diving to mountain climbing, instead.

DIY safari, Botswana Landlocked Botswana in southern Africa was once one of the continent’s poorer nations. But it has undergone a radical transformation over the last decade and now boasts a thriving economy and is a must-stop tourist spot. Rather than shelling out ‘til you hit four figures, opt for a self-drive safari – you can go at your own pace and the search for animals will bring its own challenges and rewards, rather than having them pointed out to you as though they are picture-posing specimens. Chobe National Park (or Chobe River as the area is also known), in northeast Botswana, is one of the country’s more affordable national parks, boasting a variety of flora, fauna and wildlife. A trip down the Chobe River between Kasane Town and the Serondela campsites is likely to bring you up close to hundreds of hippopotamuses and crocs. DO IT The best option is to fly to Victoria Falls and head to Maun, where 4x4s can be hired from as little as £75 per day. Save on accommodation with a rooftent, too (maunselfdrive4x4.com).

Scuba diving, Egypt If you think of Egypt, you’d most often go straight to picturing ancient Egyptians building the pyramids and the Sphinx, but there is more to the glorious northeastern

African nation than these manmade wonders. For divers worldwide, Egypt is a destination par excellence thanks to its renowned calm and clear waters. Head to the Red Sea for aquatic wildlife, stunning coral and the odd WW1 wreck, even. Plus, according to the latest travel advice from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, resorts on the Red Sea in South Sinai and those resorts on the Egyptian mainland in the Red Sea governorate (including Hurghada) remain safe to visit, despite recent unrest in the country. The popular Sharm El-Sheikh is tourist-heavy and great for luxury, but more suitable for those on a budget is laid-back, hippy town Dahab, on the southeast coast pensinsula. It’s considered one of the Sinai’s best diving destinations and is a Mecca for backpackers. You can also try Hurghada, the second-largest city on the Red Sea coast, and a divers’ paradise thanks to its giant stretches of beach which give ample room for exploration. DO IT The Bedouin Lodge hotel in Dahab offers rooms from £10pppn (dahab.net/ padi.com/scuba).

Wine tours, South Africa More an adventure for the mind than the body, the winelands of South Africa have a deserved reputation for outstanding vino and natural beauty. The accepted thinking might have you believe that a wine tour is for die-hard wine fans only – for those who know their varietals and nose, and can taste the subtle differences that would leave most of us scratching our heads in bafflement. The good news is that, well, they’re tntmagazine.com/destinations

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE Dive in: Red Sea resorts are great for a budget scuba break

not. Those with an ‘entry level’ knowledge of plonk will ﬁnd much to enjoy, plus the cultural and historical context that accompanies these tours make them indispensable for uncovering the land, its people and past. It needn’t all be about varietals and tannins, either, as you can take a combined wine and music tour at the Solms-Delta Estate, in the heart of the Cape Winelands, which combines local sounds with your supping. DO IT Day tours at Solms-Delta Estate from £9.50pp (solms-delta.co.za).

Budget beaches, Zanzibar For a beach break with a taste of exotic adventure, head out to Zanzibar, part of Tanzania. An archipelago that begins about 25km off the eastern coast of Africa, it’s made up of a group of small islands and two larger, main ones. Spread out across these coastal lands are some of the best beaches to be found in all of Africa, only refreshingly free of the tourist hordes you’ll most likely ﬁnd at other sun and sand destinations. And if you want to get out and explore, island hopping will broaden your beach horizons, making this more than just a single-venue destination. Not only does Zanzibar have some of the best beaches, but more importantly, it also boasts some of the

Numbers game: check off the Big Five

CLIMBING KILIMANJARO The ultimate African adventure is the gruelling five-day climb up the 19,341ft Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. While the climb itself isn’t considered particularly gruelling, altitude sickness – caused by the oxygen-light air at increased heights above sea level – is the main threat to climbers and is best overcome by drinking lots of water and taking a slow pace. Climbing to the highest point in Africa needn’t cost the earth, either. Trek trips can be organised from the UK that include flights, guides and porters starting at £1200 per person. intrepid.com

best prices around for some quality tanning time, making it a sun worshippers’ paradise. DO IT The Bahari View Lodge offers doubles from £42pppn (african-view.com).

Mount Kilimanjaro

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images

Insider trading: markets in Zanzibar

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Escape to the Wild Set in the heart of the Maasai Mara Reserve, Nalepo Mara Camp is built on the banks of the picturesque Talek River. With only six tents this traditional camp offers the ultimate in exclusive safaris for families or groups of friends in search of an intimate and authentic safari experience. Combining all the pleasures of comfortable living with the genuine warmth of Maasai hospitality, Nalepo offers a natural glimpse into the heart of Africa’s most famous wilderness.

For reservations call +254 20 802 5130, +254 071 888 8004. Visit www.africaexpeditions.com

Safari Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE Make a splash: rafting in Ecuador

Hot to trot: on four legs in Chile

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx Andes action: bungee jumping in Peru

Take a hike: get high in Venezuela Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bolivia break: try quad biking the Valley of Souls Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

tntmagazine.com/destinations

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adrenaline rushes > south america

Thrill-a-minute South America Flying through cavernous valleys, the Andes on four wheels or horseback, jungle rapids and hikes – South America has every speed covered for adrenaline junkies Words MICHAEL GADD

ure, you can tango through cities, dine on exotic delights and gaze longingly over magical vistas, but South America is fast becoming known as a haven for those seeking an adrenaline surge in some of the world’s most beautiful locations – a perfect combination, right?

in the seat, you then head through the green farmlands of Valencia. BOOK IT: The whole day tour is £100pp (minimum of two), including transfer from hostel/hotel (holidaybolivia.com).

White-water rafting, Ecuador Just 11km from Cusco is the Action Valley Adventure Park, the first of its kind in the country when it opened eight years ago in the Peruvian Andes. The best rushes here come from the 122m bungee jump and the slingshot, which you can do separately or as a duo. The bungee is the highest in South America and involves a nervy three-minute ascent in an enclosed cage to the centre of a massive gorge, from which you jump. The slingshot is a wacky reverse bungee and is one of the world’s biggest. BOOK IT: Bungee or slingshot are £47pp on their own or £86pp for both in the same day – good luck with that (actionvalley.com).

The Palora white-water river offers 40km of great fun for beginner or experienced rafters as it transfers from intense rapids to relaxing pools, with jungle scenery all the way. The two-day Puyo-Palora ‘class three’ tour is good value at £60pp or double that for a two-day journey which takes four hours on day one from Baños to Macas, where you set up camp for the night by the river Upano. Then you hit the Namangosa Gorge for a day of waves, waterfalls and high canyon walls. Then you’re returned to Baños to recover. BOOK IT: Two-day tour is £120pp and includes International Rafting Federation-certified guides, all rafting equipment (life jackets, helmets, paddles, wetsuits), transport to and from the rivers, and all meals (imagineecuador.com).

Quad biking, Bolivia

Horse riding, Chile

A day you’ll never forget on a quad bike or motorbike starts in the Valley of the Souls, south of La Paz, through which winds the giant natural rock needles that pierce the landscape. Then you’ll motor through geological wonder Palca Canyon to the pretty village of Palca, skirting the shores of Rio Palca to reach the Illimani volcano (it’s dormant, so you’re safe) at 6400m above sea level. This is sacred to locals and a magnificent sight when its three peaks are covered with snow. Completing your seven hours

Horses are synonymous with Patagonia, so on four legs seems the only logical way to see the remarkable landscapes. Horse Riding Patagonia leads tours lasting between two hours and 10 days around Torres del Paine National Park. A stunning day trip takes you through woods to the Grey Lake, where icebergs float the length of its waters. You rest the horses here and after a short walk you’re at the beaches, where you can see the icebergs >> snapping off while you have lunch. You then get the

Bungee jumping, Peru

tntmagazine.com/destinations

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE

Going up: sandboarding in Peru

choice of a three-hour boat trip that takes you to the face of the glacier or a gentle ride back. In all, you could spend ﬁve to six hours in the saddle, and it’s suitable for all riders. BOOK IT: The full day is £80pp, with a minimum of two required to book. The optional boat trip costs £80pp again and helpfully includes a lift back to the park administration (horseridingpatagonia.com).

Hiking, Venezuela The tabletop mountain of Roraima in Venezuela is a stunning sight for any hiker. Part of what is said to be the oldest rock formation in the world, it’s been formed over millions of years (also taking in the borders of Brazil and Guyana), with much of the ﬂora and fauna here unique to the area. One day isn’t enough to do the unusual stone landscape and plantlife justice, but a six-day trek should do the trick. Once at the top of the mountain, a day trip takes you to visit the Valley of Crystals (which is what it says on the tin) and the spot where Brazil, Venezuela and Guyana intersect. Take this trip any time of the year, but in the rainy season it’s extra special with a boat trip to the Angel Falls, which is the world’s highest uninterrupted waterfall at almost 1000m. BOOK IT: The six-day trekking of the Roraima starts at £450 for two people and reduces signiﬁcantly with more people in the group. Includes English-speaking guide, transfer from Santa Elena to Paraitepui, meals, porters for food and water, park entrance fees and tents (kamadac.de).

Coming down: hang ten in Huacachina

SANDBOARD AND BUGGY BASH Massive sand dunes ripe for buggying and sandboarding are legendary in the southwestern Peruvian desert of Huacachina and make a relatively cheap day out. Take an afternoon tour (it’s longer at two hours as the buggies can overheat in the morning), which gives you a good 70 minutes (approx) of sandboarding time and a 50-minute ride in a dune buggy, which the tour operators describe as being more akin to a rollercoaster. Some tourists actually prefer the buggy ride to the sand-surfing. The dune buggy and sandboarding tour is £15 per person, plus about £1.50 for entry (huacachina.com; peruadventurestours.com).

Bugging out: hitting Peruvian dunes

Photos: Thinkstock, atacpatagonia.com, peruadventurestours.com, Annalise Westbrook

In the clouds: Mount Roraima

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE

Tribal: traditional dress in Maasai Mara

Ancient Iran: Xerxes Gateway

And relax: Cayo de Agua, Venezuela

Iranian sights: Sheikh Loftollah Mosque

Get high: could you conquer Everest?

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images

Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highest: Angel Falls, Venezuela

10 tntmagazine.com/destinations

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danger zones > worldwide

Dangerous destinations Like your holidays with a little edge? Here’s our pick of under-appreciated locales that, if you’re properly prepared and take precautions, are well worth the gamble

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images

Words Helen elfer

reezing to death on the slopes of Mount Everest sound like a risk you’re willing to take for a view? Don’t mind chancing the odd carjacking to see incredible wildlife? If you approach your adventure responsibly, one of these trips might be right up your street.

WORTH IT FOR: Well, because you’ll have climbed Mount Everest. It’ll be an exhilarating, once-in-a-lifetime experience that will test your limits of endurance. BOOK IT: A 15-day trek to Everest Base Camp costs from £935pp with Intrepid (intrepidtravel.com).

Iran

Venezuela

HOW DANGEROUS? The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (fco.gov.uk) advises against all travel to Iran because of Westerner-targeted terrorist attacks in recent years. There is no British Embassy here as it was set on fire in 2011. The Australian government “advise you to reconsider your need to travel to Iran due to increased regional tensions”. There are also strict laws regarding women covering their heads and unmarried partners sharing rooms. WORTH IT FOR: The Tehran Shah’s Summer Palace and the Unesco World Heritage site of Persepolis, which was built by Darius I in the days of the First Persian Empire. Here, see the towering Xerxes Gateway with its colossal and intricate

HOW DANGEROUS? It’s the stretch along the Colombian border that’s really risky: the states of Zulia, Tachira and Apure. ‘Express kidnappings’ – sudden, quick-fire abductions to get cash from the family or employer of a victim – are common, and heavily armed drug trafficking groups operate in the area. WORTH IT FOR: It’s all about the natural wonders in Venezuela – visit the flat-topped mountains of the Gran Sabana in the enormous Canaima National Park or see the world’s highest waterfall, Angel Falls. The idyllic beaches of Cayo de Agua should chill you out after all that action. BOOK IT: Tucan Travel offers a four-day Angel Falls and

stone carvings. BOOK IT: G Adventures offers a 14-day trip from £1479pp

Canaima National Park tour for £619pp (tucantravel.com).

(gadventures.com).

Kenya

Mount Everest HOW DANGEROUS? Almost every year climbers die attempting to conquer Everest. The weather conditions are harsh and unpredictable, the altitudes extreme and the potential for rescue if anything goes wrong very low. Still fancy it? Try the gruelling but less lethal trek to Everest Base Camp instead.

HOW DANGEROUS? In the cities, particularly Nairobi and Mombasa, crime rates are sky-high, including muggings, armed robberies and carjacking. WORTH IT FOR: The Maasai Mara to see the Great Migration of wildebeest, or to visit the distinctive tribespeople, known for their massive ear piercings and bright red traditional dress. BOOK IT: Acacia Africa offers a three-day Maasai Mara safari from £346pp (acacia-africa.com). tntmagazine.com/destinations

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DESTINATIONS ADVENTURE

Glacial beauty: Switzerlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Glacier Express Passage to India: sunrise on the way from Mumbai to Delhi

Peru: Machu Picchu

India: Taj Mahal

Serene Siberia: Lake Baikal

On track: take the train from Cusco to Machu Picchu

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images, Anshuls Photography

Epic journey: the Trans-Siberian railway

12 tntmagazine.com/destinations

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Best of > rail travel

Great rail journeys Travelling by air? We’re so over it. Swap a couple of sterile hours in a plane for an epic overland trip by train, taking in remote scenery and off-the-beaten-track stops Words Helen elfeR

he one part of travelling that people often forget to make the most of is the... well, the actual travelling. Getting from A to B doesn’t have to be a chore if you book a seat on one of the world’s most thrilling train journeys.

Mumbai to Delhi

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, TNT images, Anshuls Photography

TRAIN: Indian Maharaja Deccan Odyssey JOURNEY: Obviously, it’s all about the knock-out scenery between Mumbai and Delhi via Rajasthan, potentially including cave excursions at Ajanta, a jungle safari at Sawai Madhopur and of course, that all important photo op at the Taj Mahal. But it’s impossible not to also be impressed by the fact this palace on wheels has a gym, beauty salon and massage centre on board. And yes, a good few bars so you can still get stuck into your G&Ts – this is upmarket India, after all. BOOK IT: Packages are from £375pp based on shared occupancy (theindianmaharaja.co.in).

Poroy to Machu Picchu TRAIN: Expedition JOURNEY: This backpackers’ favourite has cheap tickets and extra rack room for bulky rucksacks – what more could you ask for? Oh, just an incredible three-hour journey. It begins in Poroy (eight miles from Cusco) before winding 50 miles through the Sacred Valley, the Andean foothills, and then following the path of the Urubamba river. For the best views of the river and Inca ruins, make sure you nab a seat on the left-hand side of the train going up to Machu Picchu and on the right-hand side when you return.

BOOK IT: A one-way ticket costs from £40pp (perurail.com).

St Moritz to Zermatt TRAIN: Glacier Express JOURNEY: Just the name of this train conjures up images of Swiss peaks and dizzying scenery. A ride on the Glacier Express is just a one-day trip, taking you past some of the finest panoramas Switzerland has to offer: the snowcapped mountains of Graubünden, the lovely Lake Lucerne, the glaciers of the Valais region and then on to the Southern mountains. Definite wow factor. BOOK IT: A one-way second-class ticket is £120pp (swisspasses.com).

St Petersburg to Beijing TRAIN: Trans-Siberian JOURNEY: The Trans-Siberian runs along the world’s longest railway, which is a dizzying 9289km and spans seven time zones – if you’re into slow travel, this is the journey for you. There are numerous routes you can take along these tracks, but the St Petersburg to Beijing ride means you can take in Irkutsk to see Lake Baikal, before continuing on to the mountains that border Mongolia. The journey proceeds through the Mongolian capital, Ulaanbaatar, where you’ll make a quick stop before riding on into the stark landscape of the Gobi Desert, before finally rolling into China’s capital, Beijing. Expect to make lots of Russian friends over even more vodka shots along the way. BOOK IT Prices start at £555pp for a one-way trip in a second-class cabin (trans-siberian.co.uk). tntmagazine.com/destinations

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FAIRY DUNNY IT: Flatmates. As you may have noticed at some point in the past six months, magical bathroom fairies have been entering the loo while we sleep in the night. These helpful little buggers have been nice enough to replace the toilet paper roll onto its holder! It’s a phenomenon I know you four haven’t quite been able to grasp, but give me a hand in thanking our unseen heroes. Todd DRUNK DINNER SHOW: To the drunk(est) bloke (ever) getting bounced out of a Camden pub at 4.30pm last weekend. Thanks for adding some pre-dinner entertainment for me and my friend. We were extra impressed by your ability to fight back tears until after the staff had removed you from the restaurant. Brenna LOVE LOST : My girlfriend thinks I watch too much television and that I’m failing to recognise her subtle, but desperate cries for intimacy. She says that every night, as the twilight hours dim to dark, so does the once-luminescent light that was our relationship. And my distant, numb affections have created a chasm of which no bridge can traverse. Anyway, I need some AAA batteries; she took them out of the remote. Chaz REUNION UNION: I have a school reunion coming up where I get to make everyone’s jaws drop to the floor. All the naysayers, bullies and jocks who pushed me into lockers and called me ‘Gingerballs’ or ‘Little Red Rocket’ will choke on their words when they see what I’ve become. They’ll

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