1570 by TNT Magazine

September 30-October 6 2013 Issue 1570 tntmagazine.com

! N I W BROADBAND WHILE YOU TRAVEL WITH A GLOBALGIG DEVICE

GOING GRAND Reviews and previews of the AFL and NRL finals

GET YOUR GRAZE ON Grub’s up at London Restaurant Festival

! E R B I L A B CU

Caribbean e th in e r lo a g . it’s c-words .. m is n u m m rs and co Cocktails, ciga ISSUE 1570 / £1.95

+ CORNWALL GETAWAY FAT FREDDY’S DROP FENG SHUI YOUR FLAT MAKE YOUR OWN IGLOO

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ANDREW WESTBROOK ACTING EDITOR andrew.westbrook@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER There are certain destinations that, when telling people where you’ve been, bring on pangs of green-eyed envy like few others can achieve. One of those is Cuba. Indeed, with its colours, music and all-out obsession with all things rum, there’s truly nowhere else like it. See how we got on with the Cuban cocktail menu on P46. Foodies, meanwhile, take note – London Restaurant Festival starts dishing up this week, so don’t miss out (P6). Enjoy!

THIS WEEK

46 LONDON DIARY 4 LONDON DRINKS 10 LONDON EATS 13 LONDON SOUND 14

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD

CHATROOM

The lowdown on London Restaurant Festival, plus other tasty events

LONDON SCENE

FENG SHUI YOUR FLAT

LIFESTYLE SPOTTED

20-21 22

Follow our five easy steps to get your pad thoroughly overflowing with positivity

DONE AND DUSTED

SPORT 28-33

Looking back at the weekend’s AFL Grand Final, plus the season as a whole

TRAVEL 35 DIARY 36 NEWS 37 UK TRIP 38 TRAVEL TIPS 40 HOTSHOTS

SHORTBREAK 42 BIG TRIP 46

NEWS 26-27 WIN 32

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT

FEATURES

TOP UP ON OYSTERS

Tickling tastebuds on a gastronomic escape to a chilled slice of Cornwall

WINTER WARMER

Get ideas for your winter breaks with this igloo-building getaway to snowy Sweden

THE HAVANA CLUB

We discover the cigars, cars and communism of Cuba, cocktail by cocktail

20 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

EDITORIAL Acting editor Andrew Westbrook Contributors: Alasdair Morton | Caroline Garnar | Michael Gadd | Andy Jones DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Lisa Ferron Design / picture editor Patricia Montenegro

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NRL GRAND FINAL SCREENING FULHAM

Get up early, grab a beer and watch the NRL Grand Final on the big screen at the Elk Bar. We’ve teamed up with the west London bar to make sure you won’t miss out on the final just because you’re now living on Greenwich Mean Time. You can catch every kick, tackle and contest from the ANZ Stadium back home along with all your mates. And to top it off, come down in your footy gear and the best dressed will win themselves a £50 bar tab as well to spend during the game. £10

Oct 6, 7.30am Elk Bar, SW6 5UA

Fulham Broadway

MERGE FESTIVAL

OCEAN LINER PARTY

LEWIS SCHAFFER

This annual festival brings together performances, events, exhibitions and lots of random happenings to celebrate the tradition, history and contemporary culture of Bankside. Definitely check out the Before I Die wall in Borough, where people can write their own bucket list plans.

Climb aboard the SS Atlantica for an ocean liner party that will take you back to the glitz and glamour of the 1930s when cruise liners were the most luxurious form of travel. There will be live bands, floorshows, cabaret and dancing, plus, best of all, champagne. Dress code is at-sea formal wear.

New York stand-up Lewis Schaffer has been doing his Free Until Famous gig for so long now it it the capital’s longest running solo show. After a raucous run at the Edinburgh Fringe this summer, he won’t be lamenting the absence of fame for very much longer, so catch him while you can.

Until October 20 Various locations across London Various mergefestival.co.uk

Oct 5, 8pm-2am Savoy Pier WC2R 0EU Charing Cross ssatlantica.com

Oct 1 & 3, 7pm The Source Below, W1F 9TY Leicester Square sourcebelow.com

£25

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Tasty: London’s set to go food crazy

Time to tuck in! The London Restaurant Festival is bringing a fortnight of food events and special menus to town in a culinary celebration. WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

London Restaurant Festival is about to launch a city-wide culinary journey with all manner of delicious menus, foodie events and more taking place across the city. “The goal is to create original and fun ideas for activities that excite both the restaurant-goers and the restauranteurs,” says LRF founder Simon Davis. “You know that frisson you get when you crack open an egg and it’s a double yolker? I want a similar cocktail of thrill, surprise and reward for anyone who takes part in LRF!” The festival will take place over two weeks, bringing all manner of tasty events to town with special festival menus at restaurants across the city and one off food-themed events, too. A key part of the festival, though, is ‘restaurant hopping’, as Davis explains. “Eating in several restaurants over the course of a meal time, that’s one of the essences of LRF.” So you can have a starter in one restaurant, hop on over the road to grab your main, before winding up sampling dessert somewhere completely different. It’s a dining experience unlike any other. 6

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One of the main components of this is the LRF Gourment Odyssey, which has three tours around London, taking in a course in a different restaurant, and will feature the much talked about restaurants Aqua Shard and Hutong in the city’s iconic skyscraper, The Shard. There will also be themed culinary tours, in which you will be treated to the cuisine of particular countries from around the world as part of Tapas Tours, Ciccheti Trails and Japanese Journeys events in which you can sample some of the finest Spanish, Italian and Japanese food in London. The festival’s Graze passport will allow diners to sample a small ‘grazing’ plate at 12 participating restaurants across London, including Providores, Arbutus, Dishoom, Cotidie and Rotary. You’ll also get a complimentary drink thrown in, too. Those who like their traditional roast on a weekend will be delighted to hear that the festival is holding a Sunday Best event in which world renowned chefs including Jason Atherton, Theo Randall (right) and Angela Hartnett will be cooking one-off Sunday lunches, followed by a meet and greet with the

diners afterwards in which they’ll spill the beans on their kitchen creations. TV presenter and film fan Jonathan Ross will also be getting involved with all the food frivolity and will be hosting a very special event. A threecourse dinner will be cooked inspired by his favourite film, the 2001 Japanese animated fantasy Spirited Away, which will be accompanied by a screening of the film, too. “From the big name chefs to the toilers who are washing up, London has an unrivalled culinary chutzpah,” Davis explains of what drives London Restaurant Festival. “It’s about getting out and discovering as many restaurants as you can in a fun way and for all budgets. There’s an insatiable appetite in London for eating out and sharing that experience and LRF feeds it. No matter what your culinary skills are, you’d be a fool to miss out on what is going to be a taste-bud delighting fortnight. MORE LONDON FOOD EVENTS ›› London Restaurant Festival. October 3-21. Prices vary londonrestaurantfestival.com

Food fan: Jonathan Ross will be hosting a film-themed dinner

Theo Randall is one of the top chefs involved in LRF

What will you do with your two weeks? Volunteer in our clinical trials and help beat colds and flu! Play games, read, watch TV, study or surf the internet and we’ll compensate you for your time – up to £3750.

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Turning Japanese: food from around the world will feature TNTMAGAZINE.COM

RUMBLE IN THE DELI NOTTING HILL Some of the best chefs in London from Petrus, Trullo Bocca di Lupo and more will be going head to head in November. Every Wednesday two chefs will get the same ingredients in the morning and then have to concoct a three course meal that evening, with the public who get to enjoy it voting after each course on which was the superior. The winner will be crowned at the end of the night.

CHOCOLATE WEEK FINALE KENSINGTON

£55

Nov 6-30, 7.30pm-11pm Tom’s Delicatessen, W11 2RH Notting Hill Gate tomsdeli.co.uk

VEGFEST KENSINGTON This vegetarian lifestyle show explains why veg is best and you should embrace the meat free life. It’s better for the animals and better for you. As well as all the recipes, demos, nutritionists, athletes and sleb chefs, there will also be veg-supporting comedians including Dave Spikey, Lucy Porter and Yank stand-up Jamie ‘eat kale not cow’ Kilstein (above) with cinema, music and loads more. £10

October 5 & 6, 11am-7pm Kensington Olympia, W14 8UX london.vegfest.co.uk

BRITISH EGG WEEK ACROSS LONDON

This week sees this south London district throw its very own food fest (left). There will be everything from Caribbean jerk chicken to pizzas and retro Scotch eggs as well as exclusive events each night of the week including Caribbean Tuesday and Cocktail Wednesday.

This annual event encourages everyone to embrace eggs, with a load of recipes so you can enjoy eggs differently each day of the week. There will be touring cookery classes as well to share the skills for the uninitiated.

Promising ‘no wine snobbery’ and ‘no gobbledygook’, the Cheese and Wine Fest team are on a mission to bring you delicious food and drink. There will be cooking demos and lessons, a daily culinary quiz, and, of course, loads of wine and cheese for you to sample across the two events held in London this Autumn.

Tastes of the festive season come to town to get you in the mood with exhibitors, demos and yuletide grub!

Oct 11-13, 11am-8pm/ Nov 1, 11am-7.30pm & Nov 2, 10am-7pm Southbank Centre Square, SE1 8XX & Old Spitalfields Market, E1 6EW Waterloo and Liverpool Street cheesewinefestival.com

Nov 21, 5pm-10pm. Nov 22, 11am-4pm & 5pm-11pm. Nov 23, 11am-6pm. Nov 24, 11am-5pm Tobacco Dock, E1W 2SF Wapping tasteofchristmas.com

£2+

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Sep 30-Oct 5. Times vary Brixton, SW2 Brixton brixtonfoodfest.com

TASTE OF CHRISTMAS DOCKLANDS £22+

October 18-20, Fri, 2pm-6pm; Sat, 10am-7pm; Sun, 10am-6pm National Hall, W14 8UX Kensington Olympia chocolateweek.co.uk

Kensington Olympia

BRIXTON FOOD FEST BRIXTON FREE

CHEESE AND WINE FESTIVAL SOUTH BANK AND SPITALFIELDS

This spectacular finale to the gluttonously brilliant chocolate week features Salon du Chocolat. What is this, you ask. Well, there will be chocolatey goodness to be sampled from the UK’s very finest chocolatiers, with demonstrations (interesting), talks (hmm) and interactive workshops (tops) in which you can get to grips with how the waist-teasing goodness is made. Yum. £15+

FREE

Sep 30-Oct 6. Times vary Across London and nationwide britisheggweek.co.uk

HISTORIC HESTON BLUMENTHAL KING’S CROSS Just as much a crazy scientist as he is an actual chef, Blumenthal will be talking this evening about the impact the Georgian era has on British cuisine and how this period has influenced his own culinary creations. £10+

Nov 8, 6.30pm British Library, NW1 2DB King’s Cross bl.uk

FOOD & FRAGRANCE BANQUET WEST LONDON The Experimental Food society will be throwing this five course banquet that’ll be demonstrating how important smell is to our sense of taste and how it can enhance a meal. The menu will include a forestinfused ‘Duck In The Woods’ course that features wild, dry-aged mallard, terrine and onion leaves ‘served atop a platter from the forest floor and impregnated with scents such as juniper wood and moss. £90

Nov 14 & 15, 7.30pm-11pm Cookbook Cafe, Intercontinental Park Lane, W1J 7QY Hyde Park Corner experimentalfoodsociety.com

LONDONDRINKS

EFFRA SOCIAL

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Local fave: the Effra Social

BAR

This Brixton establishment has quite the history. Formerly the home of the local Conservative club since the 1800s, it took on its current incarnation this February and the low key frontage belies the ample offerings within. With a spacious front bar, a dance hall, dining room and garden, it is has something for everyone. There are live bands every Friday (local band The Hobos are up Sep 28), DJs on Saturdays, a We Love Comedy fortnightly stand-up show, Quiet Cabaret every other Sunday, a soul club, bingo, karaoke and Brixtongue spoken word and poetry night, as well as a jazz night starting October 3. THE GRUB There is a bar snack menu – we highly recommend the sausage rolls and homemade scotch eggs – and a mains menu that boasts pan fried salmon, Scottish rib-eye steak and homemade Gnocchi amidst its eye-catching offerings. The traditional fish pie is a must sample – we tried, we loved. THE SCENE

All the usual beers, ales and wines, guaranteed to sate ever the most pernickety imbiber. BILL PLEASE Bar snacks from £1.50; mains from £8; beers from £4. VERDICT It’s quickly established itself as a local fave and rightly so – it’s spacious, filled with character and has loads going on. A great local, for those who live in Brixton and those who don’t. Recommended. BEHIND THE BAR

89 Effra road, SW2 1DF

Brixton

3 OF THE BEST BASEMENT BARS

effrasocial.co.uk

AAA

THE ROXY

RUBY’S

This basement bar is the rock ‘n’ roll soul of upstairs sister establishment Archangel, and is famed for its lack of pretension, its regular indie, folk and rock bands and its top comedy nights.

Hidden away beneath the streets of Soho, this great little gem of a bar is cosy, is revered for its cocktails and boasts regular club nights, so you can keep supping into the small hours as well.

This Dalston speakeasy is so unassuming from the outside that were you not to know it was there you would walk right past. Famed for its cocktails which are served in 1940s milk bottles.

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CHEERS! THE ASCOT BEER FESTIVAL 4TH & 5TH OCTOBER ENJOY A DIVERSE AND UNIQUE TASTE OF LIVE MUSIC, SUPERB RACING, AND YOUR PICK OF MORE THAN 200 REAL ALES, CIDERS AND PERRIES, INCLUDING THE BLACK COUNTRY REGIONAL BAR. TICKETS FROM £13PP.

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BITE SIZE

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EAT IN, EAT WELL If your home-cooked meals are a dog’s dinner compared to when you dine out, try ordering a Hello Fresh food box. We had a £49 box of ingredients delivered to our door with enough to cook five meals for two. With the recipe cards included for the 30-minute dishes, you can rustle up restaurant-standard food at home. We had pan-fried barbary duck with cannellini beans and rosemary one night, and snap dragon chicken with udon noodles another. Even better, now we’ve got the recipes, we’re stll making the dishes and continue to add to our repertoire with each food box. We may never eat out again. hellofresh.co.uk

BE A DAIRY DEVIL So much more subtle than sneaking whiskey into work in a hip flask (just us?), you can now get your lunch-time booze fix with the UK’s first alcoholic yoghurt. The Collective has created the raspberry and amaretto limited-edition pot, and, packed with live cultures and with only 5% fat, you can almost convince yourself it’s good for you. Just don’t accidentally put it in your kid’s lunch box... thecollectivedairy.com

Photos: supplied

LET’S DO BRUNCH The Breakfast Club in Battersea has launched its brunch menu. Famous for their yummy eggs, stacked pancakes and classic wake-up cocktails, the Battersea branch’s resident ‘King of the Ladies Man’ means your brunch is served with a side of chest hair and handlebar moustache (not literally, that would be gross). thebreakfastclubcafes.com

PERKIN REVELLER BRITISH

Perched on the edge of the Thames and sandwiched between the Tower Bridge and the Tower of London, you would be forgiven for writing Perkin Reveller off as a tourist trap. But don’t. Do. Not. You hear me? Good. By day, it’s a bright and sun-lit space, serving light lunches to the work crowd. By night it smoothly sinks into a cosy and romantic spot, lit by candles and the soft glow of the Thames-by-night. Couples take a pew at the edge while friends huddle together on the banquet-style tables. The staff – in particular a charming Scot named Gordon – are fantastic, combining great service (with a smile) with good knowledge of the menu and spot-on recommendations. THE GRUB The food here is truly fantastic. The starter of scallops with pork belly was the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time. I’m still salivating about the soft, salty belly teamed with the fresh and delicate scallops now. Drool. Everywhere. The daily changing fish options are cooked to perfection – light and flaky with a crispy skin and served with flavours that work so well together you will wonder why they are ever apart. If meat’s your thing, try the lamb three ways. Which three ways depends on what part of the animal they have on the day, but it’s guaranteed to be melt-in-the-mouth tender and presented so well even the little lamb would be happy. As for dessert, the thick and luscious salted caramel torte had me making the kinds of noises usually reserved for the bedroom. Ridiculously good. THE SCENE

Ask Gordon for a wine recommendation to pair with your dinner and you will not be disappointed, with large glasses partly served in a mini carafe. Alternatively, they are big on their gin cocktails, with a great option for a group of friends being the punch served in a vintage crystal bowl. BILL PLEASE Starters from £5.50; mains from £12.50; desserts £6 VERDICT Yes it’s expensive. However, the food is so exquisite and the setting so fantastic that this is more than justified, unlike many tourist traps. All round one of the best meals we’ve had in London. CG BEHIND THE BAR

The Wharf at The Tower of London, EC3N 4AB

perkinreveller.co.uk

London Bridge

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Raucous: Deer Tick hit town

ALASDAIR MORTON FOR THE RECORD Speaking with Triple J last week, Kris Novoselic, the lankiest bassist in the world, who used to play for some band called Nirvana, said that he would love to play some of his old group’s songs in Australia. Novoselic got back on stage this year with former bandmate Dave Grohl for the latter’s Sound City project, alongside Paul McCartney. They didn’t play old grunge songs though, but when quizzed on whether he’d like to revisit some of the tunes that made Nirvana one of the biggest bands of all time, he surprised everyone. “That’s the best plan I have heard all year,” he said, adding, “it has to happen.” Tarnishing Nirvana’s legacy would be all too easy to do, and seeing Grohl and Novoselic without Kurt Cobain doing Nirvana tunes would be odd, to say the least, but the chance to hear Nevermind or In Utero, or any of their classic back catalogue, would be a once in a lifetime opportunity we would love to see.

DEER TICK The Borderline,W1D 4JB TUE, OCT 1 | DOORS AT 7PM | £12

The Rhode Island alt-country band are back to play more raucous live shows, and to show new material from their out today fifth LP Negativity. The five piece from Providence, Rhode Island, have been steadily making a name for themselves as a live band of some repute. If you hear the term altcountry, you might think of some pastiche and pseudo platitude spouting retro tinged act, but the Tick are thoroughly of the now. On their last album, 2011’s Divine Providence, they achieved a career high, combining their indie and country leanings with their ferocious live shows, and wrapping it up in one deft addictive little package. And they’ve only just gone and topped it with their latest, Negativity, which is out today. Rather than the barnstorming brilliance of its predecessor, they have found a more sombre, introspective mood, and it is no less amazing. From humble beginnings on the sleepy north east coast of the United States, Deer Tick have managed to take all the best elements of indie and country from the past, infuse it with an attitude that bristles as it threatens to take you on, and wrapped it up in an impassioned and totally impossible not to love band. If you’ve seen them already, you’ll know what to expect. If you haven’t then get down the front, it will be a live show you will not forget. And when they tear into regular show closer Let’s All Go To The Bar, you’ll be downing whiskey shots, hollering in the air and committing yourself to a life of rock ‘n’ roll, too. Tottenham Court Road

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NEW BAND

LAURA MVULA GIG FRI, OCT 4. 7.30PM £17.50

She featured at number four in the Beeb’s Sound Of 2013 lists, and has made steady progress this year with all who hear her falling under her spell. She has a voice that is unmistakable, a fantastic stage presence and is going places. If you haven’t been swept up by her stunning debut Sing To The Moon yet, time to catch up. Shepherd’s Bush Empire W12 8TT Shepherd’s Bush o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

GIANT

VIVA WARRIORS

CLUB

FRI, OCT 4. 10PM-6AM £10+

FRI, OCT 4. 11PM-7AM £12.50+

A new bi-monthly night from The Date crew, who have putting on shindigs at The Loft for a year and a half. Now though, they’ve moved over to south London and Peckham’s Bussey Building for this house and disco party. Gracing the inaugural bash will be Greg Wilson, Jimpset and Severino.

Steve Lawler will be joined by VIVa Music and Ibiza Warriors residents at Brixton’s hottest nightspot, Electric Brixton, formerly The Fridge. You can expect Darius Syrossian, Philip Bader, Detlef and Anek. After a smash season at Sankey’s Ibiza, they’ll be bringing to party vibes to south London.

Bussey Building 133 Rye Lane, SE15 4ST Peckham Rye ticketweb.co.uk

Electric Brixton SW2 1RJ Brixton electricbrixton.uk.com

LAST JAPAN THE BUZZ SO FAR The name gives nothing away, but LJ is actually 23-year old south Londoner Marco Guiliani, whose latest EP Darsk is out now. Mixing grime, drum ‘n’ bass, 2step, funky beats and fierce MC skills, it is a sound unlike any other and has been attracting plaudits aplenty since it dropped earlier this year. If you want to check out the future sounds, then get down to south London later this month to catch him live. THE CRITICS SAY “For fans of the shadowy sound tearing up Bristol right now. A particularly irresistible cut of UK sound.” Clash Music

Darsk is out now through Space + Time Records. Plays Under The Bridge, Oct5, £5.

THE PLUG

Fulham Road, SW6 1HS Fulham Broadway lastjapan.com

CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH

FAMILIA

BOWLING FOR SOUP

GIG

CLUB

GIG

OCT 8, 9 & 11. 7.15PM £55+

SAT, OCT 5. 11PM-7AM £13+

WED, OCT 9. 7PM £15+

The folk rock supergroup – David Crosby from The Byrds, Stephen Stills of Buffalo Springfield and Graham Nash of The Hollies – return to London to play from their extensive back catalogue. They’ve been delighting fans since the Sixties and in the regal surrounds of the Royal Albert Hall this will be pretty special.

The second of Menzo’s Clarisse Records showcases crashes into north London for this talent laden little soiree. Joining him this evening will be Illario, DJ Wild, Jonny Cade, Lando and Mark Jenkyns for Familia’s regular party that brings you some of the hottest underground tunes and artists.

Girl All The Bad Guys Want was a slacker classic! These pop punks have been going for 20 years but have decided to call time on their career, so this stripped back acoustic show in this tiny venue ahead of their bigger 20th anniversary farewell show later this month will be one of your last chances to catch them.

Royal Albert Hall Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP South Kensington royalalberthall.com

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

Union Chapel Compton Avenue, N1 2XD Highbury & Islington unionchapel.org.uk

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Fat Freddy’s Drop

The New Zealand band’s saxophonist Chopper Readz on their latest album Blackbird and where to find the best espresso

INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Where did the writing of your third album Blackbird start and what were your initial plans for the album? Actually the very first threads of Blackbird were pulled together when we were mixing the previous album, The Big B.W. We just started writing new beats and bass lines to give us a break from what we’d just been working on and some of those have ended up on this record. The plan is always pretty simple – write and record the best ideas we can agree on and see what happens, there’s no concept or approach other than aiming for quality.

Blackbird was done differently in that it was all done in the studio – what influenced this creative decision? We’ve always recorded in studios, it’s just that this one was purpose built to make music in and wasn’t someone’s living room. The previous model of setting up in DJ Fitchie’s house just wasn’t sustainable as a way to write and record, nor live on his part. And as is usual for us, the live and studio versions of songs have their own shape and approach, and having both in existence keeps it interesting for us and the audience. What is the secret to keeping so many disparate musical elements and fusing them together into a seamless whole? Perseverance. Sometimes the original ideas are strong individually but you just can’t find a way for them to co-exist. You just have to keep chipping away at it, and if the music is strong enough it survives. We spend literally hours working out how to get from section A to section B in a relatively free and open way. With that many flying hours behind you, things can get pretty fluid because you’ve got a collective sense of where the landmarks are and how to get there. What is the secret to keeping the improvisation so fluid and natural? Think less, listen more. You’ve all been playing together for more than 10 years – what is the secret to such longevity without ‘musical differences’?

Actually, it’s the differences that are crucial. Having your own ideas and seeing them incorporated into the band’s approach is what makes it satisfying. On the flip side, letting go of the reins and just having some fun is important.

Do you think you’d like to live somewhere like London? I did live in London. I was a resident of Borough High Street for six years until 2003. I visited the area in July. Man, has it changed.

You played a low key Village Underground show earlier this year with tunes and grub – who is the biggest foodie in the band? Joe Hopepa definitely eats the most – never split the bill with that guy, it’ll leave your wallet in tatters. Dobie Blaze is the flashest cook, but we’ve all got some tricks up our sleeves.

What are the three things you need in your hometown? Every decent home town should have a great secondhand record shop, clubs with good sound systems and a pumping Chinatown.

Your popularity has been on the ascendancy massively with this album – how do you feel about having a bigger global fan base? That’s the whole point behind releasing records these days. You can sell a lot of singles if you’re playing the pop game, but albums really are a musical calling card; a way to bring you to a larger audience who will become fans of your live shows. How do you enjoy playing in the UK? The UK’s great. It’s a shame we don’t see more of it, but at least on this tour we’re getting to Manchester, Oxford and Bristol rather than just staying inside the M25.

Who is the biggest party animal when you’re out on the road? We all have our moments when we’re out on the road. You actually have to hit that release valve every now and then or you go mad. Passing the time depends on who you are. Some people sleep, some people watch Will Ferrell movies, some people play drinking games. I do a bit of all of that and have become the default researcher on where the good coffee, record store, restaurant, flea market etc is for our next port of call. If you need to know where to get a decent espresso within 10 minutes walk of some random venue in Toulouse, Bologna or Leeds, I’m you’re man. Fat Freddy’s Drop play Brixton Academy, Oct 5. £30+ 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL Brixton o2academybrixton.co.uk

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Feeling blue: Cate Blanchett shines in Woody Allen’s drama

BLUE JASMINE FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins | 12A | 98mins

FILTH FILM STARRING: James McAvoy, Jamie Bell | 18 | 97mins

James McAvoy stars as possibly the most disgusting copper ever in this adaptation of Irvine ‘Trainspotting’ Welsh’s novel about Bruce Robertson, a drug-addled, sex-addicted policeman who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. If only he could stop the web of lies and deceipt from tearing his sanity apart in the process he might stand a chance. On general release October 4

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Woody Allen has endured a number of false dawns when it has come to his great career comeback. Thankfully though, drama Blue Jasmine, starring Cate Blanchett, is a full throttle return to his Oscar-winning calibre heyday. Blanchett is the titular Jasmine, a wealthy socialite whose life hits the skids when her husband, a sneaky, nefarious Alec Baldwin, is declared bankrupt and revealed to be something of a philanderer, her monies gone down the crapper. With her wealth goes her ability to look down her nose at all and sundry, not least her less well off little sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins), with whom she has to leave New York and move in with in San Francisco as she tries to resurrect her life. Needless to say, breakdowns beckon more than a happy ending uplift as she tries to get back to her high society ways by cuddling up to Peter Sarsgaard’s widower. As you would expect, Blanchett is reliably excellent. To say it is the turn of her career would be untrue only as it does her other sterling work a discredit, but as the hapless, stuck up and increasingly desperate Jasmine, she is a whirlwind of exasperation, futile defiance and fraught emotional turmoil. It is Allen’s film as well though, his usual light-footedness and humour still present but buried deep beneath the emotional turmoil and familial strife. Expect Oscar noms for Blachett to be in the pipeline for she makes the beleaguered Jasmine, who could otherwise be an odious individual, into not exactly likeable, but certainly one with whom we can empathise. GOOD FOR: Seeing a Hollywood legend back to his all-time best.

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GIVE US A

JIMMY CARR: GAGGING ORDER

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

The man once described as a gay Hitler is back on the road and, gag for gag, no one delivers like him. He is sure to offend, probably make jokes about women, and women drivers, and someone will no doubt heckle him for his dalliances with dodging tax. Back at Hammersmith Apollo next month, too. Hackney Empire 291 Mare Street, E8 1EJ. Oct 6. £25 Hackney Central hackneyempire.co.uk

AYSE ERKMEN: INTERVALS

BARKING IN ESSEX

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

The Curve at the Barbican will become the home for Turkish artist Erkmen’s challenging conceptual work. It might look a lot like a moving stage set and the behind the scenes ephemera as you might find elsewhere for a theatrical production, and that is because in many ways it is. Only without the actual show.

This desperately unfunny comedy is a real turkey. The plot concerns Algie, recently released from prison, and his mother Emmie, brother Darnley and sister-in-law Chrissie, who have splurged all the money. Lee Evans works overtime as Darnley, but this crude satire does little to make the audience laugh. LK

Barbican Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS. Until Jan 5, 2014. Free Barbican barbican.org.uk

Wyndham’s Theatre Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0DA. Until Jan 4. £22.50+ Leicester Sq barkinginessex.com

PAUL THORNE What is Apocalpyse about? It’s a topical show based on the feeling that we’re now on some irreversible downward slope to oblivion. There’s no bigger challenge than to try and make doom and gloom funny. Seeing as every generation has probably felt they were the last, chances are we’ll get away with it.

Photos: Johan Persson

The show looks at evil – who is the embodiment of evil? You’ll have to come and see, but the usual suspects will be there: Kim Jong Un, Rebekah Brooks, most of Grimsby and a few surprises.

HOW I LIVE NOW

A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM

FILM

THEATRE

Saoirse Ronan (The Lovely Bones) stars in this love story with a difference. She plays New York teenager Daisy, who is sent to live in the quaint British countryside where she falls in love with the boy of her dreams. Only their embraces are cut short by the outbreak of a 21st century world war, leaving Daisy and friends stranded in an ever more post apocalyptic-looking world.

Michael Grandage’s popularly-cast production of Shakespeare’s enduring comedy stars Sheridan Smith as Titania who, thanks to some misplaced magic, is besotted with David Walliams’ Bottom, the weaver with ass’s ears and, it is insinuated, the appendage to match. It’s a fleet, enjoyably light-hearted and hippy trippy affair. LK

On general release October 4

Noel Coward theatre WC2N 4AU. Until Nov 16. £10+ Leicester Square michaelgrandagecompany.com

With the end nigh, what is the way forward? When armageddon appears to be rearing its ugly head, laugh in its face! Musical comedy is tough to get right, what’s the secret? If it’s a comedy song then it’s all about the words. Everything else has to fit around that so you have less freedom than with straight songwriting. That and playing the guitar with sausage-shaped fingers. Paul Thorne – Apocalypse. Leicester Square Theatre. oct 3-5. £8 WC2H 7BX Leicester Sq Leicester Square Theatre

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

STYLE .95

£39

Furry hot water bottle Winter’s a-comin’. Be prepared! occa-home.co.uk

£9.

Feng shui your flat

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Warm welcome: your front door needs to attract positive energy

Get your positive energies flowing with these five easy steps WORDS CAROLINE GARNAR

Aztec tea and coffee tins Drink like a charitable Egyptian oxfam.org.uk/shopfinder

.00

£45

Sky print lamp shades Count clouds for sweet dreams space1a.com

Feng shui is nothing new. In fact it’s nearly 4,000 years old. But the practice of designing your home or office to create a positive energy flow has understandably struggled to be taken seriously over the years. However, in our stress-riddled modern lives, we are turning to alternative therapies originating from the East, such as meditation, yoga and acupuncture, for help. So if we are willing to have needles stuck in our faces to help realign our ‘Qi’, aka energy, what’s so silly about painting our walls red or making sure our bed faces a certain way? Classical Chinese feng shui is a little more complicated than adding a cushion here and there, and if you are taking it really seriously you will need to get the experts in to do their stuff (see boxout, right). But there are simple ways you can make changes to create positive energy at home and ensure it flows smoothly. Read on to find out five easy ways to feng shui your flat...

Welcome in positive energy Positive energy is a discerning guest and will turn on its heels if it’s not made to feel welcome, apparently. “Your front door is the main entry point for the energy flowing into your home,” says MacKail. “The door needs to open freely and fully, so ensure nothing is stored behind it and ensure the door doesn’t stick, or you may find your life opportunities also sticking.” The path to the front door is also important, says Gabriela Galbenus, a RCFSIaccredited feng shui consultant. “As you want to have a smooth Sheng Qi [energy that flows in a natural way] entering inside the house, it is better to have a meandering or curving path leading up to your front

Clear your clutter .00

£34

Cast iron Chinese teapot Bring some Zen to your brew exoticteapot.co.uk

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Having a good clear-up is not only good for your state of mind (you know you can’t relax when that pile of dirty dishes is taunting you from the sink), but it’s good for your home’s energy flow too. “Clutter creates stagnation in your life, robs you of energy and blocks new opportunities coming in,” says healthy home and business expert, Davina MacKail. “When energy flows freely around your home it brings good health, balance and nourishment. Don’t inhibit this flow with clutter.”

Measure it: a feng shui master will measure your home’s energy levels door. If this is not possible you can use potted plants to create a curved pathway.”

Surround yourself with symbols “Your choice of art and ornaments are messages from your unconscious mind,” tells

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LIFESTYLELIVING YOUR VIEW LAURA

DALTON Events manager, 28

“I hate clutter. It makes me feel stressed out if everything’s in a mess. I always keep my flat tidy and I definitely find that it helps keep my state of mind tidy too!”

JENNI

DENNIS Designer, 27

Clutter free: a clear, bright space is great for calming the mind MacKail. “Look around you and see what you have been unwittingly projecting into your space and creating in your life. For example, are you single with a flat full of empty landscapes or solitary figures?” Surrounding yourself with photos of friends and family is a good idea. “According to research, people who surround themselves with photos of friends have better self-esteem and thrive in society,” says Jan Cisek of Feng Shui London. She also recommends you frame photos of yourself doing something positive, for example graduating or travelling, as this anchors you back to that happy feeling each time you look at it. Be careful where you place mirrors, as they double whatever they are facing, so make sure they are reflecting something positive. An open door is a good idea, as this doubles the energy of a room. Also, buy yourself a few indoor pot plants, as studies show that being in contact with nature helps our wellbeing.

Photos: Thinkstock

Colour yourself happy Brands spend thousands on research into colour psychology as there is evidence to show that certain colours relax, while others stimulate; some can even make you hungry, while others suppress your appetite. The former is obviously more relevant when it comes to your home (unless you are on a diet, in which case painting your

kitchen blue might help), and so you should decorate accordingly, says Galbenus. “If one needs to feel more stimulated and active, use bright colours such as reds, yellows and oranges [yang], while colours such as pale blues and greens [yin] will make you feel more peaceful and calm. You might want yin colours in the bedroom where you rest and yang colours in the areas where you cook, work, play and so on.” If you are renting and can’t paint the walls, do it with soft furnishings or lighting instead: use up-lighting with a bright bulb to lift the mood, or down-lighting with soft light for relaxation.

Place your furniture properly The positioning of furniture in which you sit and sleep is very important, as it ensures you receive the maximum flow of all the positive energy you have created. “You should sit and sleep in a ‘power’ position,” tells Cisek. “This means with the support of a wall and a view of the door and windows. If that’s not possible, position some mirrors or shiny objects so you can see the reflection of the door when you sit or lie down.” If you sleep in an attic room, a slanted ceiling can cause an imbalanced energy flow, resulting in disrupted and uneasy rest, says Galbenus. But don’t worry, you don’t have to move: “You can try to minimise the effect of this by moving the bed to the higher end of the ceiling,” she advises.

“I’m not a feng shui fanatic, but I read a book on it once and made some changes, like moving my bed and changing my duvet cover. I do sleep better now ... I think.”

SIMON

COX Casting director, 26

“I don’t buy into the idea that if your furniture is placed in a certain way it affects your life. Why would moving my sofa bring me love or money or luck? It makes no sense.”

GET THE EXPERTS IN If you want to go full on with your feng shui, you will need to employ a trained feng shui ‘master’ as classical Chinese feng shui is worked out using complex calculations, astrology, cosmology and more. A consultation ranges from £350800 depending on the space. CONTACTS Davina MacKail 07710 454 814, askdavina.com Gabriela Galbenus 07949 076 706, thelondonfengshui.co.uk Jan Cisek 07956 288 574, FengShuiLondon.net

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tntjobs.co.uk LONRES.COM LTD T: 0808 252 4164 www.lonres.com Lonres.com is a website for the exclusive use of estate agents, surveyors, valuers and relocation agents to showcase their properties.

THE HAMPSTEAD BUTCHER & PROVIDORE T: 020 7794 9210 www.hampsteadbutcher.com Hampstead’s premier butcher, delicatessen, charcuterie, cheese & wine shop offering free-range beef, pork, lamb, game and poultry

HELPING HANDS HOMECARE T: 0808 252 4164 www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk We are a leading provider of care in the UK supporting customers to remain in their own home.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Data Entry Clerk Location: Battersea SW11 Salary: Starting £17,500 Duties will include data entry and answering the telephone. The ideal candidate will have a good command of the English language, be well-organised, pay close attention to detail and have a good telephone manner. Rachael Farthing | 020 79 24 6622 | rachael@lonres.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Senior & Junior Butcher Location: Hampstead, London, NW3 Salary: Hourly rates from £7 to £12 Successful applicants must be able to demonstrate excellent butchery method (less for junior position), great communication skills, customer service and teamwork. Guy Bossom | 020 7794 9210 | guy@hampsteadbutcher.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live In Carer Location: Nationwide Salary: Competitive Live In Carers required Nationwide. Directly employed by Helping Hands Homecare. Live and care for your customer in their own home. Fully supported role. Approx 6-8 weeks placement then a break. Recruitment | 0808 180 1123 | www.hhjobs.co.uk

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JOB OF THE WEEK: Recruiting experienced and new LIVE IN & OUT carers within London Location: Across London – Head Office Chiswick 020 8912 4642 Salary: Fair rates of pay available

Dynamic Care Company is recruiting experienced and new LIVE IN & OUT carers within London.

You are expected to provide care to the elderly in their own home. We are currently recruiting carers who can be dynamic and have good communication skills. Work within the guidelines of the company policies e procedures. Training is given.

CARE24SEVEN T: 020 8912 4642

Please forward your CV to max@care24seven.com

ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

THE DINER T: 07557124922 www.goodlifediner.com A fun expanding group of American diners serving all aspects of American food from burgers and pancakes to some new southern classics.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: up to £630pw Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses! Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available. A Driving licence is essential. John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chefs of all levels Location: Central London Salary: Depends on experience We are looking for chefs of all levels to join this fun dynamic group. You must be able to work under pressure and deliver food to the highest quality. Full training will be provided. lizzy@goodlifediner.com | 07557124922

T: 01753 754333 http://biegroupltd.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Research Executive Location: London (Central) or Windsor Salary: 20,000 – 35,000 base plus Benefits & Bonus

BIE Group is an established Executive Search and Interim Management provider specialising in Finance, Human Resources and Supply Chain.

In partnership with the lead consultant, you will be responsible for identifying and attracting suitable candidates against agreed criteria for all current retained assignments utilising headhunting, networking, referrals and online business tools such as LinkedIn.

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Please forward your CV to byron.tarboton@biegroupltd.com

Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact 24 TNTMAGAZINE.COM TNTMAGAZINE.COM 24 Jaqui Ward | 020 3137 5950 | jaqui.ward@tntmultimedia.com

tntjobs.co.uk WILD PACKS SUMMER CAMPS T: 01383 435991 www.wildpacks.com We provide staff from all over the globe to US summer camps. Our aim? To make camp affordable for all!

CREATE FOOD T: 0208 944 4986 www.createfood.co.uk Create food and party design are an award winning caterer with custom built kitchens and offices in London.

PINES AND NEEDLES T: 020 3384 9420 www.pinesandneedles.com Fun Christmas tree company, looking for help between now and Christmas.

SOURCE BATTERSEA Farm to table restaurant, opening November 2013. Serving great food, cooked simply and in season, in London’s coolest neighborhoods.

LEYLAND SDM T: 020 7275 2979 www.leylandsdm.co.uk Leyland SDM is the local DIY store of choice with 17 stores on some of Central London’s most prestigious roads.

THE CROWN INN T: 01386 725351 www.thecrownkemerton.co.uk Family run pub with B&B rooms in a beautiful, friendly and social cotswold village. Part of self catering cottages and wedding venue nearby.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Staff Required for Premier American Summer Camps. Location: USA Salary: $1500+ for 8 weeks Work at a camp that you have chosen. Spend the summer in the sun, teaching something you love, making friends from all over the globe! No application fees and the highest salaries in the industry! Ella Brakefield | 01383 435991 | ella@wildpacks.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sous Chef Location: Wimbledon Salary: £30 + depending on experience Experience in either banqueting or events required to work in a high pressure environment for a high-profile events company in Wimbledon prep kitchen as well as on location at our events around the city Tammy Saul | tamryn.saul@createfood.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Warehouse Shift Manager Location: Wembley HA9 7RE Salary: £7+ per hour Very physical work with computer work to package, organise and dispatch Christmas trees and decorations. Looking for reliable people with good attention to detail, willingness to tackle a range of tasks, & calm under pressure. Sam Lyle | 07980865056 | sam@pinesandneedles.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: IT Assistant with sales experience Location: Wembley HA9 7RE Salary: £7+ per hour Acting as an IT support helping with IT related problems so need excellent IT problem solving skills. Other roles will include making and receiving sales calls/emails as well as dealing with any customer enquiries. Veronika Kusak | 020 3384 9420 | veronika@pinesandneedles.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Head Chef Location: Battersea Salary: £30k to £48k pa, depending on experience Head chef required to be part of our opening team. Must have a passion for sourcing the best ingredients, lead a kitchen with determination, and be a team player. Elsa De Jager | elsa@sourcebattersea.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Full /part time experienced retail sales assistants. Location: Central London Salary: Starting rate £7.21 per hour • Maintaining high standards of customer service delivery • EPOS & till operation • Stock handling & merchandising • Maintaining high standards of store presentation and cleanliness • Any other dutiesrequired by management. Online at www.leylandsdm.co.uk or email cv and covering letter to sandra@leylandsdm.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef/Cook (may suit job share) Location: Kemerton, Gloucs Salary: £7-9 per hour depending on experience Full-time chef/cook to run small pub kitchen serving home-made food. Can range from 4 to 40 covers in a sitting. You must have the necessary skills to prepare and make dishes from scratch and present them to a high standard in a timely manner. This role may suit two people, live in or out. Diana Herford | 01386 725351 | herfords@uppercourt.co.uk

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Animal crackers: this outfit is never a good idea, especially when going to the zoo

ANIMAL PRINT CAUSES ‘CONFUSION’ AT ZOO ENGLAND A zoo and theme park has banned visitors from wearing leopard or zebra print clothes because they are “confusing” the animals. Chessington World of Adventure’s new ride, Zufari, involves visitors coming face to face with giraffes, rhinos and other animals as they drive around in off-road trucks. But when animals recently encountered a visitor wearing a print similar to their own, they reportedly acted a little “over friendly”. “We have announced an animal-print ban. This follows confusion amongst our ‘Zufari: Ride Into Africa!’ animals,” the park said in a statement, adding that it will lend clothing to anyone donning animal print while on the ride. TWEETS OF THE WEEK @jimycarr I’m sorry to hear Liz Hurley and Shane Warne have split. Its amicable. They’ve agreed to share the publicity equally. @AlanCarr Woke up being spooned by my dog - would have made a lovely Athena poster.

PATRIOTIC PARROT HAS A POTTY MOUTH UK An African Grey parrot who was born and raised in Wales then re-homed in Bristol told his new owners to “fuck off”, stating, “I’m from the Valleys”. The patriotic parrot, named Basil, has a strong Welsh accent and a whole vocabulary of expletives. Brought up in the Vale of Glamorgan, his previous owners had admitted that he knew “a few swear 26

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Twerk it: Miley Cyrus has inspired a Guinness World Record as 358 people simultaneously twerked for two minutes in Herald Square in New York City. Held by Big Freedia – the self proclaimed ‘Queen of Bounce’ – the record-breaking bootie shakers even included a 73-year-old woman who had been buying bedding in Macy’s

words”, but that they thought a change of scenery would “leave that behind”. So much for that theory: after politely saying “hello” to his new owners, Sarah and Adam Fisk, he swiftly told them to “fuck off” in a strong accent, with Mrs Fisk saying, “It definitely sounds Welsh.” It’s not just his new owners Basil abuses, though. When he escaped from his new home and was taken to a nearby vets, he called all the nurses “tossers”. “He rather surprised us with his adult vocabulary,” said veterinary manager Mandy Stone. “[But] he also whistled the McDonald’s tune and he danced for us when we asked him to, so we forgave his bad manners.”

AUSSIE TOWN IN HAIRY FACE-OFF AUSTRALIA Facial fur is spotted so often in a north Queensland town that residents reckon it’s the hairiest place Down Under. It’s estimated that half the male population of Ravenshoe sport facial hair. “There’s one fellow from nearby Innot Hot Springs and he’s got a very lush beard and flowing head of hair,” local councillor Shaaron Linwood said. All of the hairy men of Ravenshoe will have their photo taken during the town’s Torimba Festival, which runs October 5-19, and residents have put out a challenge to other communities to see if they can do better.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 1000

Age, in millions of years, of a recently discovered plant species believed to be from the ‘lost world’ of Socotra

Private parts: Channel 4 will film ordinary couples having sex in its new show, Sex Box

THIS SEX WAS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE

Joker: Bob tells a corker

UK Couples are to have sex in front of a studio audience and then be immediately quizzed about their session in a new Channel 4 show. The channel said no intercourse or nudity will be seen in the Sex Box programme, but the “immediacy” will encourage a more open and honest discussion about their experiences. The three couples taking part are an engaged couple who have rekindled their romance after being childhood sweethearts, a duo in their 20s and a gay couple in their 30s. Sex Box will be screened on Channel 4 on October 7.

DRIVERS PAY NUTTY PARKING FEES

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, YouTube

ENGLAND Parking fees rarely cost peanuts, but they can cost chestnuts, apparently. Drivers in Leeds and Manchester last week were able to pay their parking fees at Town Centre Car Parks with horse chestnuts, popularly known as conkers. Company spokesman Matthew Williamson said the chestnuts are only being accepted at staffed parking lots, not automated ticket machines. “You can’t put conkers into coin slots,” he pointed out. We’re enjoying the image of car park bosses sitting at their desks with their ties

The number of applications for the job of ‘luxury executive’, wanted to test supercars and five-star resorts

850

The cost in pounds of a new ‘hands-free iron’. The Tubie blows hot air up into your clothes, forcing wrinkles out

The percentage of 1000 polled gym users who gain weight due to snacking on high-calorie treats after a workout

around their heads, swinging the conkers at each other as in the popular schoolyard game. However, it has been said they are unsure what they are going to do with the conkers, and the reason behind the nutty idea was to help raise awareness about carbon emissions.

BOB HAWKE DROPS F-BOMB ON LIVE TV AUSTRALIA Former prime minister of Australia, Bob Hawke, told a joke on live TV, and added an extra kick to his punch line. Taking part in a broadcast marking Australia’s 1983 America’s Cup victory, Hawke randomly decided it would be an appropriate time to tell a joke to winning skipper John Bertrand, syndicate owner Alan Bond, the crowd and, oh, thousands of viewers at home. Reverting to a classic – and actually genuinely funny – “Englishman, Frenchman and Aussie” joke, his punchline was, “There goes your fucking canoe.” Hawke, you’re a legend.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK Some of the reports re EH & me r absolute rubbish. Yes, we’re sorting through some (private) issues. But we’re not throwing the towel in yet Shane Warne denies that he and Elizabeth Hurley have split up

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Decisions time for Roos coach Tim Sheens

AUSSIES LINE UP FOR WORLD CUP RUGBY LEAGUE Squads for next month’s Rugby League World Cup are emerging ahead of the NRL and Super League grand finals. While the Kangaroos line-up leading the charge to reclaim the title lost to New Zealand in 2008 will be announced on October 7, plenty of Aussie players have already secured their spots in the England and Wales tournament. The Italy squad announced last week features no less than 12 NRL stars. The Azzuri play Wales as part of the opening day double header in Cardiff, when Australia and England fire the first salvos from the realistic title contenders on October 26. For more Rugy League World Cup info, visit rlwc2013.com.

ROOSTERS IN DRUG PROBE FOR SEMI RUGBY LEAGUE The Sydney Roosters prepared for their semi-final clash with the Newcastle Knights under a drugs cloud after former junior player Ben Darcy saw them dragged into ASADA’s rugby league drug investigation. League journeyman Darcy went to school with winger Sandor Earl, who is facing a four-year ban after he admitted to trafficking and using illegal peptides. Darcy’s name came up in text messages that were key to ASADA’s case against Earl and it’s been found he has connections with other NRL players, including two or more at the Roosters who are expected to be questioned. One of those is prop Marty Kennedy, who has known Darcy since high school. 28

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One paper called Aston Villa’s Nicklas Helenius the Y-frontman after Tottenham’s Jan Vertonghen relieved the substitute of his shorts during their Capital One Cup clash last week. Aston Villa played pants, but it was a cheeky move from Vertongen, who will be remembered as the JANker after this episode. If the referee went with the bottom line of the law, the defender should have been sent off, as Nickers was on goal, and Villa should have got a chance to equalise from the spot. Instead, they lost 1-0.

SHARKS TO STAY IN SHIRE, NRL CHIEF

NRL 360. BIG WEEK FOR ...

RUGBY LEAGUE

Evergreen Australian batsman Brad Hodge is in top nick at the ICC Twenty20 Champions League in India with his Rajastan Royals undefeated in the tournament when we went to print. The Mumbai Indians feature legends in the true sense of the term – Ricky Ponting and Sachin Tendulker – but even they wouldn’t begrudge success for Hodge, widely regarded among the unluckiest Test batsman of all time for playing just six Test despite his talent. Catch the action on Eurosport as the tournament reaches its climax with the final on Sunday.

NRL chief executive Dave Smith was moved to hose down reports that there are plans to move the cash-strapped Cronulla Sharks to Central Queensland. Smith said league’s governing body was keeping an eye on the club’s finances, but a move to put a club between the Cowboys in North Queensland and Gold Coast and Brisbane in the South East is not likely. The rumours began amid the club’s close monitoring by the ASADA investigation and common knowledge it is not exactly the NRL’s most financially secure club. “The clear fact is we have no plans to relocate any team,” Smith told Fox Sports’

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Man oh man, what a race. These guys just showed so much heart James Spithill, the skipper of Oracle Team USA, which beat Team New Zealand 9-8 after being 1-8 down.

Neutrals nightmare: who will you be cheering for this weekend?

PREVIEW RUGBY LEAGUE GRAND FINAL WEEKEND NRL, SUN, 9.15AM/PREMIER SPORTS; SUPER LEAGUE, SAT 6PM, SKY SPORTS This year’s NRL grand final will be a tricky one for the neutrals as two of the more hated sides in the competition, Manly Sea Eagles and Sydney Roosters, do battle for the Provan-Summons Trophy. The Roosters finished the season equal on 40 points with South Sydney, who were beaten at the final hurdle by Manly on Friday night. The Sea Eagles finished the season fourth but have found form at the

right end of the year. The Roosters earned their spot by smashing Newcastle Knights. In the Super League grand final, Wigan take on Warrington Wolves after easing past finals specialists Leeds Rhinos in Friday’s semi at DW Stadium 22-12. The tantalising derby match at Old Trafford set up a chance for Sam Tomkins to get a fairytale finish to his career at Wigan before he moves to another Warriors in New Zealand on a world record deal. Wigan are going for the double after winning the Challenge Cup. Warrington beat minor premiers Huddersfield for their spot.

All of the NRL teams will be looking to welcome me ... and I’m sure it won’t be with a handshake New Zealand Warrior’s world record signing James Tomkins, who will join from Wigan after the Super League finals

Beat them convincingly we go back to being number one Michael Clarke talks up the importance of the India series ahead of the Ashes

TV HIGHLIGHTS FOOTBALL Arsenal v Napoli Rafa’s in town for the Champions League Tue, 7.45pm, Sky Sports 2

THE CHAT | America’s Cup comeback

FOOTBALL

Photos: Getty

Man City v Bayern Munich Team USA came back from 8-1 down against Q New Zealand to win the America’s Cup 9-8. But why doesn’t anyone care? Well, the race does lack that touch of magic that would A get the masses excited. Another fact is the teams are essentially hired guns. Team USA’s skipper James Spithill and Tom Slingsby (London Olympic gold medallist) are Aussies, while Brit tactician Ben Ainslie was brought in halfway through when USA were trailing 4-1. The vessels, spaceage looking AC72 class wing-sail catamarans, don’t do much to entice the everyman either. But regardless, the comeback is a beauty and if it weren’t for the history-making Australia II in 1983 (look it up), may be one of the Cups’ greatest moments. Sorry NZ.

The pacesetters and defending champs Wed, 7.45pm, Sky Sports 2

RUGBY UNION South Africa v New Zealand Will the All Blacks’ rampage continue? Sat, 4pm, Sky Sports 4

RUGBY UNION Argentina v Australia Team USA’s Aussie captain

Oz must win to avoid wooden spoon Sat, 11.40pm, Sky Sports 4

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Mighty fighting Hawks AFL GRAND FINAL 2013: They sure are a happy team at Hawthorn as Fremantle rue missed opportunities WORDS MICHAEL GADD

A windswept Melbourne Cricket Ground, packed with 100,007 screaming fans, set the stage for a classic Grand Final between last year’s losers Hawthorn and their challengers, the Fremantle Dockers. From the outset though Alastair Clarkson’s Hawks, with the lion’s share of the support, were in control of the script. They dominated the first half, kicking two goals to none in the opening quarter (2-3-15 to 0-3-3) and extended the lead in the second with three more (5-5-35 to 1-6-12). Then came the inevitable third-quarter resurgence. Some call it the “premiership quarter” and while the Dockers kicked five majors to the Hawks’ three in the term, Clarkson’s men minimised the damage to keep a 10-point advantage going into the final break. It wasn’t pretty, but it was more than effective. Not a soul in the famous ground could deny the gold and browns deserved to hear the “mighty fighting Hawks” song on a loop when the club’s 11th title was confirmed. Just 19 goals were kicked over four quarters of the scrappy contest, 11 to the Hawks and eight to the Dockers. Most agree the Hawks dominated the contest, controlling the ball for the majority. But the Dockers are left to wonder what could have been had a few easy chances early on been worth six rather than one point. It’s simple matches, but if just three of their 14 behinds had found the middle sticks, they would have been the happy team. But after 12 months of heartache since losing to the Sydney Swans at the same time last year, it was time for the Hawks. Led by Luke Hodge and Norm Smith Medalist Brian Lake, the Hawks defence was stubborn and dominated the Dockers advances. And with Buddy Franklin, perhaps playing his last game for the Hawks, and Jarryd Roughead struggling to fire up front under heavy attention, Jack Gunston filled the goalkicking breach with four majors (no surprise, he did the same 30

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WHAT THEY SAID Bruce McAvaney, legendary commentator: “The best team all year ... back on top of the mountain.” Luke Hodge, Hawthorn captain: “To the Freo boys, commiserations, we know exactly how you feel. But I believe it builds character and I have no doubt you’ll be back up here again next year.” Alastair Clarkson, Hawthorn coach: “It’s been a tough year for our code. But it’s when you have days like this, a hundred thousand people crammed into the MCG to watch two really good sides play footy, we know that our code is thriving. We’ll celebrate long and hard tonight.”

in the preliminary final). Tactically, Fremantle were considered to have outSydneyed the Swans to get into this match, with their AFL equivalent of tiki-taka build-up. The Hawks doubled the technique back on the Dockers here, superseding the talented Freo midfield by not giving them a sniff of the ball – 45 handballs in the first quarter was enormous. Cool heads have been Freo’s trademark in the finals as they overcame Geelong and the Swans to make the big one, the same sides Hawthorn had to beat in the other order, but they were error strewn here and Nathan Fyfe missed three sitters that could have changed the game. Clarkson, who has orchestrated the Hawks’ rebuild since 2005, admitted it was almost the perfect season after last year’s disappointment on the final day. Three losses all up, two of them to Geelong, who they finished four points ahead to top the end of season ladder and then edge out

The highs of final day ...

Lance Franklin celebrates with Jack Gunston and Paul Puopolo

... and the lows

ON THE DAY Brian Lake, Norm Smith Medalist: “To be out here, what a crowd, what an atmosphere. We came out hard in the first half and held on. It’s just a brilliant effort.” Sam Mitchell, Hawthorn midfielder: “I’m not sure if it was a pretty game to watch but it was great fun to play in.” Matthew Pavlich, Fremantle captain: “[Hawthorn] have certainly been the standout side for a couple of seasons and outplayed us today, so congratulations on your victory. It’s a bitterly hard pill to swallow, but we’ll dust ourselves off ... we’ll be back.”

Photos: Getty

to make the grand final. When the Fremantle surge came when they were 24 points down seven minutes into the second term, they would peg it back to three points. Five centre clearances in a row from Mundy set it up for the travellers. But the Hawks were ready where they weren’t in 2012, led by Lake. In the end, the record books will show 11 goals, 11 behinds and 77 points was better than eight goals, 14 behinds and 66 points. This was the Hawks second premiership in six seasons and after such a turnaround from last year’s defeat to this year’s dominance, you’d have to think they’re ready and raring to spend 2014 with a big target on their back. ❚ Scores Hawks: Q1 2.3.15; Q2 5.5.35; Q3 8.8.56; Q4 11.11.77 Dockers: Q1 0.3.3; Q2 1.6.12; Q3 6.10.46; Q4 8.14.66

Lake denies Matthew Pavlich

DOGGED DEFENDER WINS NORM SMITH MEDAL ”Wowee,” was how Brian Lake opened his Norm Smith Medal acceptance speech, but it was surely not all he was thinking. The defender kept Fremantle captain Matthew Pavlich quiet for much of the match, was a mammoth in the aerial contests and no one disputed the votes when he was called up as the player of the grand final. “I’d like to thank Hawthorn for taking me in 12 months ago,” he said, without a hint of bitterness toward the Western Bulldogs who couldn’t find a way to keep the 31-year-old last year. He’s moved on. ‘’It was sad to leave a club that I’d been at for so long and made so many good friends at, but every player wants to experience what I have today and now I’m a premiership player,’’ said Lake, who took a $200k pay cut to play for the Hawks. ‘’To win the Norm Smith Medal is a bit of cream on the top.’’

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TNT puts the world to rights

SPORTVIEW

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

Rankin’s Irish compatriots congratulate him for dismissing Shane Watson, in 2010

England announces worldly 17 for return Ashes

Photos: Getty

A few South Africans, fair enough, but the Irishman’s a stretch

Boyd Rankin has done the hard yards to get to the top of cricket. He’s played at all levels for his country since under-13s and got into his first World Cup squad via his national A team. One problem: that was for Ireland. The argument that England’s players aren’t from England is one trotted (intentional pun) desperately by Aussies clutching for excuses for Clarke’s boys not being that great. But Rankin’s a step too far. Team GB, the UK or England, the Isles pick and choose who they compete as against the world. In cricket, it’s the England and Wales Cricket Board. We’re used to South African accents at press conferences. England’s Kevin Pietersen didn’t rate his native country’s racial quota system so moved to the UK, played four years at Nottinghamshire, qualified and the rest is history. Fair enough. Jonathan Trott, of Cape Town in Warwickshire, sorry, South Africa, played under-15 and under-19 cricket for his country. His grandparents are from England. Hmm, 48 Tests later, fair enough. New additions to England’s Ashes squad include Zimbabwe under-19 Gary Ballance and New Zealand-born Ben Stokes. England’s faithful may raise Aussies Usman Khawaja (born in Pakistan, but Aussie since a little Uzzie) or Moises Henriques (born in Portugal but moved to Oz aged one), but they’ve been in Oz longer than Matt Prior’s been English (moved from Johannesburg at 11). The cricket jury is still out on Fawad Ahmed, the Pakistani asylum seeker who got fast-tracked to being an Aussie citizen because Clarke was short of a leggie, but Rankin for England is out of order. Ireland’s top wicket taker at the 2007 World Cup, his three-for against Pakistan led to Ireland’s big upset win. He was in green for the Twenty20 World Cup and was in the 15-man 2011 World Cup squad. Then he made the England Lions team... and the England ODI and T20 sides. Sorry Ireland, he’s ours now. Ireland’s an emerging cricket nation. They’re on the fringe of Test status ranked 11th in ODIs (and 8th in T20s). All his inclusion for England does is give Aussies an excuse to be lazy with sledges. » Agree or disagree? Are England any worse at this than anyone else? letters@tntmagazine.com

SUAREZ HAS LAST BITE OF CHERRY Everyone on his side (teammates/exLiverpool players) said he was under no added pressure when he lined up against Manchester United last week, but those who aren’t contracted to lie through their teeth know it’s Luis Suarez’s last chance at Liverpool. Were he not so talented, he would have been given the flick long ago, but Brendan Rodgers has stood by his man. Sure, the well-spoken Irish manager was as aghast as everyone else when his number 9 bit Branislav Ivanovic on the arm and copped a 10-match ban – his reactions were for the bite and then the length of the ban.

“

Please don’t be a dickhead, Luis

”

If former Sydney Swans coach Paul Roos’ famous “no dickhead” policy was in operation at Liverpool, the likes of Luis would be lost to football. There’d be a serious glut of what some call ‘characters‘ – and newspaper headlines would have to be stretched beyond reckoning. So welcome back Luis. Please don’t be a dickhead. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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AND THE WINNER IS... Perth Zoo’s nominated AFL expert Tricia the elephant last week tipped local lads Freo as the likely winners of Saturday’s final.

Photos: AAP, Getty, Thinkstock, TNT

INSIDE

GRUB’S UP /38

WINTER’S COMING /42

CUBA LIBRE /46

So close and yet so far from the tourist traps, this chilled slice of Cornwall is one for tickling the tastebuds.

Get excited by -40°C temperatures in Sweden by spending the night in an igloo. Any catches? You’ve got to build it first.

It’s famous for communism, cigars, classic cars and Che, but we’re obsessed with another Cuban c-word – cocktails. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer

@tntmagazine

Let me be your fantasy?

THE BANK OF MUM AND DAD Well we’ve all guiltily visited it now and again, haven’t we? Occasionally borrowing a tenner to top up your Oyster card and never paying it back. Letting them pick up the restaurant bill… well… every time. But it is a recession after all. Haven’t you heard? The youth are struggling! And uh, so are some of us not-so-youthful...

FANTASY FEST A-CONCH-ALYPSE Florida, US Who doesn’t like dressing up in outrageously daft costumes? Fantasy Fest, a 10-day street party in Key West, is the ideal place to unleash 18-27 your inner superhero and go all out – everyone else will be. More than 100,000 people attended this colourful event in previous years – we calculate that to mean one heck of a lot of brilliantly silly outfits. OCT

WHY: Womankind’s Decorated Bra Auction, a ferocious bidding war for underwear, is one of the festival’s wackiest events. But it’s not just any old grey pants that are on sale – local artists transform everyday unmentionables into works of art, which are then modelled during a live auction.

SHUKI TAISAI

Nikko Toshogu, Japan The highlight of this Grand Autumn Festival is the 17 procession devoted to all things Samurai, including warriors wielding traditional Japanese weaponry parading through the streets. There’s also a Yabusame performance, which combines equestrian skills with Japanese-style archery. Do not, under any circumstances, get in the way. OCT

jnto.go.jp

ADE FESTIVAL

Amsterdam, Netherlands This is one hell of a dance party, which involves DJs 16-20 (including David Guetta), artists and musicians taking over practically every club in the ‘Dam. OCT

amsterdam-dance-event.nl

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DO IT BECAUSE: Deep down, there’s nothing you want to do more than dye your hair (or beard) blue and roam the streets in an outrageously camp number. It’s heaps of fun and the crazy-costumed competitions also raise money for AIDS charities. fantasyfest.com

PCHUM BEN

Tonle Bati, Cambodia

This 15-day religious festival takes in three national 3-5 holidays, where ladies dress up in bright silk clothes to commemorate long-gone spirits. It is also tradition for people to bring rice balls with pork to their local pagoda as a dedication to their ancestors. OCT

camboguide.com

MASSKARA FESTIVAL Bacolod City, Philippines

Bacolod is known as the ‘City of Smiles’, so you can 1-20 expect this to be a rather upbeat celebration, including pigcatching sessions and disco king and queen competitions – it all makes for a mighty colourful spectacle. OCT

bacolodmasskara.com

Photo: Getty

But some parents are really going above and beyond, with one in 10 of them paying up to £5000 toward their kid’s gap year travels, according to statistics. Five grand! What on earth are they doing with it? How many containers of pad Thai can a backpacker consume? Actually, I have a pretty good idea of what some of them are doing with their wads of cash, ever since I overheard half a conversation in a café in Sri Lanka a few years ago. A British backpacker had called her mum and was howling down the phone, “But you promised I could do a skydive if I got here and still wanted to... about £300... hmm, better make it £500. Just transfer it, God!” She hung up, after sniffling out a hasty, “Yeah-love-you-toobye,” and spent the next 15 minutes showing off to her mate about how she’d managed to con a few extra hundred quid out of her stingy mum. More than anything else, I felt a bit sorry for the girl. Backpacking in your gap year is meant to be a rite of passage – sink or swim out there in the big bad world. You come back boasting about how you survived on nothing but biscuits for a week after missing a flight – you’d got drunk with these crazy guys you’d met in the hostel bar the night before. If your pals breathlessly ask what happened next, and you say, “I called home and demanded an instant wire transfer,” well, that’s got to lose you a lot of points in the cool stakes, hasn’t it?

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HAN-DS ON VISIT One of Asia’s biggest pop stars – Chinese boyband veteran Han Geng, 29 (pictured, right) – has had the red carpet laid out for him at England’s historic Sudeley Castle, in a publicity stunt that UK tourism chiefs hope will translate into big money, as the world fights over where China’s 82 million outgoing tourists choose to go each year. With an average spend of £1675, it’s estimated that each plane-load of Chinese tourists is worth around £1m and 20 full-time jobs to the UK economy. Historic sites such as Sudeley Castle, once home to Henry VIII’s wife Katherine Parr, are believed to be key.

Photos: Getty

INSIDE THE BUST A record haul of cocaine, stashed inside 30 suitcases on a passenger plane from Venezuela, has been discovered by French police in Paris. The seized drugs weighed in at around 1.4 tonnes, giving them an estimated street value of about £168 million, making it the biggest bust in French history. Three of the nine people so far arrested in connection with the haul are a trio from Venezuela’s National Guard, which controls security at Caracas airport. Authorities believe it’s “pretty clear” there are accomplices within Air France, but are yet to make further arrests.

PLANES TO DOUBLE As many as 29,000 new passenger planes will be needed around the world within the next 20 years, to cope with increased demand and replacing ageing vehicles, according to France-based producer Airbus. The estimated cost of the huge expansion, primarily needed to satisfy China’s growing needs, is thought to be in the region of $4.4 trillion. If proved correct, the prediction will effectively mean that the amount of air travel doubles by the 2030s, with Asia Pacific replacing North America and Europe as the main thoroughfares.

BATTLE FOR BUSHMEN Survival International has called for tourists to boycott Botswana as a travel destination, due to what it calls the “disgraceful” behaviour of the government in relation to the country’s Bushmen tribal group. Protesters have also written to tour operators such as Intrepid and Trailfinders, asking them to cancel their trips to the region. The latest development in the long-running saga follows a new rejection of attempts to overthrow a law requiring Bushmen to have a permit to enter the Central Kalahari Game Reserve, which is considered the Bushmen’s traditional hunting ground.

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Cornish cliffs: the view from a walk off Mawgan Porth beach

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Mawgan Porth

Wild Café is Bedruthan’s family-friendly food space pumping out stellar local specials and easy-pleasing diner fare. Mains average around £11.

CORNWALL

bedruthan.com/foodanddrink

GETTING THERE Take the train from London Paddington to Bodmin Parkway from £47 for two singles mid-week, of from £75.50 on weekends (if purchased in advance). firstgreatwestern.co.uk

More formal The Herring is stylish and ideal for a special occasion, but the focus is still on the plate. Three courses for £35. UNITED KINGDOM

MAWGAN PORTH CORNWALL

bedruthan.com/foodanddrink

The Scarlet hotel is slightly closer to the beach, and pricier, but worth ducking into for one of their stellar cocktails, priced from £10-£14. scarlethotel.com

The Merrymoor Inn is a friendly pub with a bar looking along the beach and does top pub grub. Pints £3.20+. merrymoorinn.com

The massive Bedruthan Hotel and Spa has views over the Atlantic, plus indoor and outdoor pools. Great for a romantic break or with a group of mates. Rooms from £135pn with breakfast. bedruthan.com

Clockwise: pretty Padstow; the writer getting stuck in; preparing oysters [Caption] 38

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The budget option for Mawgan Porth, Marver Holiday Park, has powered sites and chalets 150 yards from the beach. Chalets from £200 per week. Pitch fee is £11+ per night. (Tel. 016 3786 0493)

UKTRIP

Out of the shell So close yet so far from the tourist traps, this chilled slice of Cornwall tickles the tastebuds

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; TNT, VisitBritainImages

WORDS MICHAEL GADD

Sperm and herpes – the first words that sprung to mind when asked about my weekend. I hadn’t been on a debaucherous Miami ‘spring break’. Not Newcastle. Not even Newquay, which I’m told is a wild night out. But I’m close, on Cornwall’s stunning north coast. It’s packed in summer, but I find it a quiet treat in the chill, where you can drink, stroll, relax, eat like a king and learn more than is necessary about oysters. I arrive at Bedruthan Hotel and Spa at Mawgan Porth, between famed holiday spots Padstow and Newquay, on a Friday night. Tomorrow we’re heading off “oyster hunting” (a misleading term, but more on that later), one of the many themed craft and food breaks the hotel offers. The area’s obsession with the digestible is proven immediately. The hotel has two restaurants, Wild Café (the laid-back one with wellpriced seasonal fare) and The Herring (the fancy one which puts a delicate twist on the best the area has to offer). But our first taste comes at the bar where I spy four unlabelled bottles. Turns out they’re infused boozes – lemon, raspberry and strawberry vodkas and slough gin – made with mostly foraged goodies by The Herring’s head chef. Careful not to fuss with their simplicity, ice is their best mate … and mine. Through the blissful haze of a hangover that comes only on a morning where the night before had no additives, I’m given the perfect wake-up – an unending Atlantic view through my window dotted with a keen half-dozen surfers waiting patiently for waves. The headland at either end of the beach invites the explorer in me to have a gander. It takes five minutes to get to the beach and five more until I could be anywhere. I scale the path up Bedruthan Steps, the right-side mound which gives the hotel its name, and civilisation is gone – blue to the left, green fields to my right and rugged clifffaces over every turn. The raw beauty of the coast reminds me of the oysters I’ll be devouring – sweet beauty with a gnarly exterior. And I’m so relaxed I nearly miss my ride to the farm. A 30-minute drive to Porthilly leads our tour group to dairy farmer and oyster grower Tim Campbell. From Tim’s oyster plot on the tideline of the Camel Estuary, a short walk along the beach, we have a perfect view of Padstow. When I comment in its favour, Tim tells me, “That’s the best look you’ll get of it.” Since he’s showing us his racks which produce a Pacific variety so good the French pay a mint for them and rate them ‘spéciales’ (the tier below perfect), Tim must be protourist. But he reckons his neighbours across the water have

been overrun. I ask if it’s the TV fame of the town’s fave son, Rick Stein, that’s done the damage, and he agrees with a nod. Conversely, his spiel about how his farm came to be – a marine academic tried to grow oysters on his family’s land, thought he failed, gave up, and then they grew like wildfire – and pride at his waters being among the most pristine in the UK is worthy of an episode of Stein’s Food Heroes. The journey through the cleaning, sorting and purifying process is mechanical, but interesting. Tim’s a showman, even if he doesn’t realise it. “They make crap pets, so we’ve got to get rid of them,” he says deadpan. His warning against ‘milky’ oysters hits home, too – “it means they’re spawning, so

“

Not even a shell full of spunk can turn me off

”

you’re basically … eating sperm”. Lesson learned. He doesn’t even sound bitchy when he tells us about how some oysterproducing regions in the UK and France – but not his – are struggling with “herpes”. Oysters get herpes?! But not even a shell full of spunk or the risk of a shellfish STI can turn me off the next bit. Accepting the “hunting” the promo material talks about means a tour of a farming process, we try a few pristine fat morsels. When Tim says, “If you want any more, you can shuck them yourself,” I go for it. With us is Darren Milgate, sous chef from the hotel, who makes a heavenly wild garlic (foraged, of course), hazelnut and rapeseed oil pesto to go with them. The passionate foodie then takes us back to base for a cooking demo. He shucks more oysters – some to tempura and serve with pickled rock samphire (from nearby cliffs) or poach in celery soup. You can help as much or little as you like. Some of our group choose to chill out with the view. Others, like me, get stuck in. That’s the beauty here – you can take your pick. Oyster hunting tour runs next on October 19. Costs from £275pp including two nights’ accommodation bedruthan.com

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Double trouble: Glasgow’s ‘Armadillo’ building

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READERS’ TRAVEL TIPS TIP

ON YER BIKE When travelling to OF THE Ireland, make sure you WEEK hire a bike in Westport and cycle around Clew Bay. Your arse won’t be right for a few days, but you will definitely have seen some amazing views. Follow it up with a drink or three in Matt Molloy’s bar (mattmolloy.com) – you’ll have earned yourself a pint of Guinness by then. Rebecca Hausler, via Facebook

YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

want to go to the Commonwealth Q IGames in Glasgow next year, and have put in a bid for tickets for the games. However, I need to travel there cheaply and book affordable accommodation – what do you suggest? Moira good news is that Glasgow will be A The a lot cheaper to visit from London than

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THE HIGH LIFE For the best views of Berlin, head up to the dome of the Berlin Cathedral, not TV Tower, as this gives you amazing views of the TV Tower, too! Kirsten Milledge, via email

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previous Commonwealth Games host cities, such as Melbourne and Delhi. Glasgow can be reached from London by car, train, coach or plane so you have plenty of options. My advice would be to fly, as it only takes an hour and costs around £80 return during the games. Alternatively, a picturesque train journey will bring you directly into the city centre in just less than five hours from London and for a similar price to flying. You might also like to get the night train along this route, as the Caledonian Sleeper leaves the capital just before midnight, arriving about 8am and costs as little as £43 for a reclining seat. The bad news is that accommodation will be in huge demand during this period, so availability will be limited and prices high. The city’s accommodation provision will be stretched as a total of one million tickets will be allocated for visitors to the 11-day games – half the usual number of visitors the city receives in a whole year! Plus, there will also be volunteers, athletes and staff looking for places to stay in the city. The best thing you can do to save cash is book

up as early as possible and be flexible about where you stay. Locations which aren’t close to the games venues will be more affordable, and budget accommodation, such as hostels, will help to cut costs. Close to the train station, budget-friendly Euro Hostel has hundreds of rooms and its own bar (euro-hostels.co.uk) and it currently still has availability for private rooms from as little as £25pn during the games. Alternatively, stay in Glasgow’s bohemian West End quarter, at the SYHA hostel which still has limited availability from £26pn (syha.org.uk). The West End area is great if you’re also looking to explore Glasgow beyond the games as it is often touted as the culinary centre of the city thanks to its great dining options. It would be wise to look for accommodation where you can pay a deposit now, so that when ticket allocations are announced, you’ll have beaten the rush, and if you aren’t allocated a ticket you will have only lost a fraction of the accommodation cost. If hostels don’t take your fancy, consider staying in a private rental. Sites such as Airbnb offers rooms in local accommodation from as little as £20pn or an entire property will cost from around £80pn. I would also recommend considering staying outside the city. The banks of picturesque Loch Lomond are easily accessible and there are a variety of accommodation options available including hostels, inns and rental cottages. From Loch Lomond you can reach the city in just over an hour by bus.

GIDDY UP One of the best things you can do in Killarney is take a ride in a horsedrawn cart. You get to see plenty of Killarney National Park and the deer as well as Ross Castle and Lough Leane. Any time is a good time to go – if it’s raining, just make sure you wrap up in warmer clothes and quit complaining! Nic Hughes, via Facebook

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HOT TIPS: Wildlife Wildlife photography can be extremely exciting. A good place to start is close to home with your DSLR and researching the animals that interest you. Animals tend to come out at dawn and dusk, so a fast lens will help with the lowlight conditions. A telephoto lens will get the shots from a distance, but these can be on the pricey

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side. Use a car as a blind to hide yourself from your subjects and try to keep your camera steady. A tripod may be too constraining so improvise by using an open window, tree trunk, or whatever is at hand. As you become more experienced aim to take shots that capture the action for a more powerful effect.

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WHAT’S THE STORY? I chose to visit the Acropolis at sunset as I believed it would provide gorgeous photos, which it did. The sun creeping through the ancient ruins created a great effect. I was inspired to have a little fun and add character to a very popular sight by using Usain Bolt’s signature lightning bolt move, especially considering the Greek Olympic connection.

RUNNER-UP MORNING GLORY Kamilla de Oliveira, Brazil

WHAT’S THE STORY? I took this from the Emirates Air Line. I’d spent the previous night working in a hospital and when I finished my shift very early on the Sunday morning, I was very excited about the sunshine, so, on my way home, I stopped off and used the Air Line five or six times, taking about 100 pictures! I think London is amazing, especially on a sunny morning. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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[Caption]

Solberget SWEDEN

Ploughing through the snow in Muddus National Park

SWEDEN Solberget

STOCKHOLM

GETTING THERE Fly from London Stansted to Stockholm Vasteras from around £100 return with Ryanair. ryanair.com A sleeper train to Nattavaara costs from £125 return. Book via Solberget Wilderness Retreat. solberget.com

Clockwise: Solberget Wilderness Retreat’s base camp; warming up after piling up snow; the quinzee itself; a cheeky reindeer 42

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Snowed under It might be -40°C in Sweden, but don’t let that put you off spending the night in an igloo. First, though, you’ve got to build it ... WORDS ANDY JONES

No holidaymaker appreciates having to build their own hotel when they arrive, especially not in the snowy wilderness of Solberget in north Sweden, where the temperature is -40°C. But that’s exactly what I’ve signed up for. Here in the Arctic Circle’s wilderness, I’m going to learn how to build an igloo, and I’d better learn good, because then I’m going to spend the night in it – alone. Just the thought sends chills down my spine. I arrive in Solberget Wilderness Retreat, after an 11-hour sleeper train ride from Stockholm through snow-heavy pine forests. I’m in deepest Santa country, as Solberget sits in the heart of Lapland, close to the Muddus National Park and a disconcerting 20km from the next house. I’m shown into a simple but comfortable bunk at the camp base – a picturesque wooden cabin where guests share dining space and a huge fire. Since this is a wilderness retreat, I have to muck in and build my own log fires and collect drinking water from a mountain well, which I figure is good survival training for later on. Anyway, although the air is freezing, these tasks are no hardship in such a breathtakingly beautiful landscape. After a cosy night I wake to stunning sunlight peeping from behind the hills and, by afternoon, a whole spectrum of different coloured light cascades down from the mountains of the Muddus National Park. Ski retreat leader Dirk Hagenbuch and I set off on our skis first thing in the morning, taking a route deep into the Muddus forest, all the time searching for somewhere suitable to build my igloo for the night. Eventually, we come across a small clearing and stop. I’d pictured us stacking ice blocks like Lego to create a big dome, but it turns out we’re not building a conventional igloo, but rather a quinzee. This is a more basic structure, built from snow, and while it’s effective, it’s used more as a temporary shelter (as opposed to semi-permanent igloos). Dirk and I pile up a man-high heap of snow and then make it as compact as possible by trampling it down, ensuring it’s packed tight. Then, to create a living space, I burrow a cavity inside it. This has to be big enough for me to crawl inside but not high enough to stand up in. Hot air rises to the top, so the smaller the space, the warmer it is. Once the living space is complete, Dirk shows me how to sculpt a tunnel of snow that juts out from the centre of the

quinzee, to prevent the effects of the biting Arctic winds as I enter my new home. All in all, the igloo takes us about three hours to build, and then we throw down heavy reindeer skins to warm the floor and another to cover the entrance. After all our efforts, we leave the quinzee behind to freeze rock solid, while we escape to a nearby log cabin for some local fare – reindeer sausage with pasta and a few beers. When I return, the quinzee has frozen so hard that I manage to walk across the top without it giving an inch – very reassuring, since it’s nearly time for bed.

“

It’s a thrill when my naked skin hits snow

”

Dirk leaves me alone to sleep in the snowy structure, but I’m relieved to hear he’s snoozing close by in a cabin – far away enough to make me feel like I’m out in the wilderness, but near enough to help if for some reason the quinzee collapses or I get too cold. After all the preparation, I find my night is surprisingly comfortable, using the reindeer skins as well as a heavy-duty sleeping bag and my thermals to shut out the biting cold. The ceiling is barely a foot above my head when I sit up, so it’s a good job I’m not claustrophobic.

Reindeer skins are used to cover the quinzee floor TNTMAGAZINE.COM

The next day I embark on an incredible reindeer sleigh trek through the forest. First of all I have to round them up, although it takes no more than a “Hup! Hup!” to get them into gear. Once I’m shown how to put their reins on, I climb onto a wide-seated and very comfortable wooden sleigh, and am soon being pulled, fast and low to the ground, through dense pine forests. On a break in the trek we enjoy a barbecue among the trees, sipping on hot tea as the reindeers forage beneath the snow for food. Entertainment at camp that night is beers and a sauna, followed by a naked plunge into a snow mound. I’m initially apprehensive, but since I’ve spent a night in a quinzee, I’m pretty sure I can handle anything. It turns out the thrill of my naked skin hitting the packed snow is surprisingly euphoric. It’s an exhilarating end to an out-there trip, on which I feel as though I’ve experienced a genuine sense of freedom in a place where all I saw for miles was snow, reindeer and nature at its most pure. ❚ Igloo building costs €1,045pp (£880) for five nights including a reindeer trip, a guided ski tour and equipment rental with Solberget Wilderness Retreat. Next tours start 19 Jan and 26 Jan-1 Feb 2014 solberget.com

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

If you’re spending a night in Stockholm en route to Solberget, try the glass-fronted Cafe String (pictured left). Stop off for a sandwich and enjoy its quirky Fifties-vintage interior. Sandwiches from £5. cafestring.com

Den Gyldene Freden in Stockholm offers traditional Nordic home cooking with a modern twist. Their seasonal menu includes reindeer with smoked onion compote and potato dumplings. Mains average at £25. gyldenefreden.se

Got money to burn? Expect the unexpected at one of the capital’s finest avant-garde restaurants, Frantzen/Lindeberg (pictured above), which has been known to serve pollen and a music box along with dishes such as lobster and edible flowers. A 12-course set menu costs £215pp. frantzen-lindeberg.com

DRINK

Stockholm’s Tranan has been serving up drinks since 1929, and while the restaurant upstairs is very traditional, this basement bar is always packed with a lively crowd, dancing to Stockholm’s trendiest DJs. Drinks start from £3. tranan.se

Jukkasjärvi’s ICEBAR can genuinely claim to be the coolest watering hole in the country. Dance on a floor of snow and drink out of glasses carved from ice. Excursions can be made here with Solberget Wilderness Retreat. First drink costs £8.80 and refills are £6.50. icehotel.com

The fin-de-siècle vibe of Le Rouge, plus its lengthy cocktail list, keep Stockholm’s trendy set coming back. Take a seat on the red crushed velvet sofas and order a round. Cocktails cost around £10 a pop. lerouge.se/en

SLEEP

The Solberget Wilderness Retreat (pictured above) offers a range of accommodation, including lumberjack cabins and trailers. Prices start from £55pppn, including use of a wood-heated sauna and wooden skis. solberget.com

The Nobis Hotel is a mellow place to spend a night in Stockholm’s city centre, with cosy and modern interiors. Doubles cost from £150pn. nobishotel.se

If a night in an igloo wasn’t chilly enough, book a room in Jukkasjärvi’s ICEHOTEL (pictured left), where you’ll sleep in a thermal sleeping bag on a bed built from ice blocks, surrounded by icy artwork. A room sleeping three costs £360pn. icehotel.com

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Photos: TNT, ICEHOTEL, Getty, Achim Olbrich

BUDGET EAT

Snow stop: a ski break in the forest

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13/06/2013

13:54

They don’t make ‘em like they used to: Havana’s classic cars line the streets

Cuba CARIBBEAN

A typical revolutionary billboard 46

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Got a light? A traditionally dressed Cuban cigar seller poses for photos

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Joining the Havana club Cuba might be famous for its communism, cigars and classic cars, but we became a little obsessed with one other c-word. Cocktails. WORDS ANDREW WESTBROOK

CURRENCY: £1 = CUC$1.6. Cuba’s dual currency system means Castro’s business plan. Now, the one brand What country are you from?” comes the whatever the price, tourists must first question without fail, together with in town is Havana Club. Luckily enough, it’s generally use Convertibles (CUC), the flitting eyes, constant babbling and no poor substitute. which are worth the same as references to “my friend” that reveal the Revolutionary road the US dollar. Locals use Cuban international mark of the hustler. The pesos, worth almost 30 times immediate follow-up is to guess “Italian?”. My first day in Havana is an onslaught on less. Changing CUC into pesos is I’m bemused – Cuba is not overflowing the senses. Boys strum guitars in doorways, quite easy, but most official places the sound of a solitary clarinet drifts across with Italians and I’ve never been mistaken (museums, Viazul buses etc) will an empty stadium and an old man blows for one in the past. “England,” I reply insist you pay with CUC. soulfully into a French horn towards the dismissively, having learnt this oft-repeated GETTING AROUND: Tourists watery horizon. I walk through the heat, the conversation is only a question or two from are kept together on Viazul buses searing heat, towards the postcard-perfect a sales pitch for bootleg cigars, a woman, (viazul.com). Save cash and forfeit streets of the World Heritage-listed old town, a taxi, or often all three. “Ah, England!” the comfort by jumping on a nonsweating my way along the Malecon, the hustler adds excitedly, then adds, “Ali G! tourist bus. To do that you’ll have to majestic surf-battered boulevard that sweeps Booyakasha!” and flicks his fingers together change your CUC into Cuban pesos. along Havana’s brow, its ocean wall dotted in the air before returning to his corner. In ACCOMMODATION: Casa with couples and drinkers, all looking out to Cuba it seems, even the cultural references particulares cost on average Miami, all dreaming. are stuck in a time warp. CUC$25/night (see boxout, P49) The roads are a cacophony of cultures, There is nowhere else like it in the world, with just about every passing vehicle feeling though. It’s where Latin America meets the as though it began life elsewhere. There’s Caribbean, a place where the sounds of the bicitaxis and tuk-tuks so reminiscent of Asia. Around rumba, jazz and reggaeton are always within earshot them scoot the masses of Russian-made Ladas. And, of and where rum is not just a drink, but a way of life. And, course, representing Cuba’s BC, as in Before Communism, are yet, what really sets this largest of the Caribbean islands the classic American cars. Chevrolets, Fords, Dodges, Buicks, apart is its politics. One of the last real bastions of Cadillacs and more, each dating from the 1950s or earlier. communism, Cuba is both the oh-so-close thorn in America’s God knows how many times they’ve been rebuilt from the side and the land responsible for creating the icon that is inside out, but these hulking American giants chug past Che Guevara. It’s also a place where, in many ways, the clock continually, belching out fumes while effortlessly creating an simply ground to a halt when Fidel Castro’s rebels swept to old-world glamour I’ve not experienced outside of a cinema. power in 1959. And then there are the buildings. Crumbling grandeur Rum diaries personified, a reminder of a different age, a time when Cuba was a Spanish colony and the powers that be took But communism and clocks aside, my plan is to live as the great pleasure in frittering away their vast slave-driven Cubans live, to follow in the footsteps of the pirates and the sugar riches on architecture of the highest standard. planters, by letting the rum dictate my days – I’ll be working The city is like a broken honeycomb, with brightly my way around the cocktail list as much as the country. coloured facades giving way to grey ruins, whole floors After all, considering Cuba once led the world in sugar exposed to the elements where neighbouring buildings production, it’s unsurprising the country is also the birthplace have collapsed. In places it feels as though Havana has of the world’s best rum, not to mention most rum-based endured some terrible bombing, but time and a lack of cocktails. The trailblazer was the Bacardi family, but they’re money have been the only enemies here. It’s a city with ›› based in the Bahamas nowadays, having not fancied Fidel TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Real rum diary: (clockwise) no more Cuba Libres for Andy (or the shaky photographer); street musicians in Trinidad; more classic cars; political murals in Santa Clara

museums and monuments and castles as good as any other, but Havana itself is the ultimate living museum. Mo money, mo Mojitos The heat is oppressive and inescapable, but I discover a cure. Perhaps Cuba’s most famous creation, the remedy is a mix of lime juice, sugar, sparkling water, mint and white rum – it’s the Mojito. Dating back to the 19th century, some believe the drink evolved from a previous cocktail known as El Draque, named after English seaman Francis Drake, forever the curse of Spanish defences. Others believe African slaves working in the sugar cane fields came up with the drink. Whoever it was, with my head light and body refreshed, I owe them a debt. Days pass as I wander the streets, taking refuge only to refuel on Mojitos, returning home only to recharge my camera, and before I know it, I’ve lost a week to Havana’s sweltering streets. It’s time to explore the country. And the cocktail menu. I’ve got a fortnight, ample days for a loop of the country’s west, and so board a bus for Santa Clara, the epicentre of Cuba’s Che worship and the promised land for beret-wearing students the world over. Out on the open road, like in the city, there is no advertising. Except for the ideas of the state. “Fatherland or death”, “Until victory, always” or simply “Socialism!” scream the slogans printed across buildings and billboards, looking more like youthful graffiti than the propaganda of a 50-year-old regime. After a few hours of lush countryside and political 48

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education, we arrive in Santa Clara, where it’s soon clear that life outside Havana moves at a slower pace. For starters, horses and carts are almost as common as cars. Santa Clara was the scene of the revolution’s decisive battle, and it was won in large part by the daredevil leadership of Comandante Guevara himself. Here, with just 18 men and an armoured tractor, the A-Team would’ve been proud of, he managed to derail a military train, defeat

“

Cuba is the birthplace of the world’s best rum, not to mention the best rum-based cocktails

”

the 350 troops on board and subsequently inspire the government soldiers to surrender the whole region. President Batistuta duly fled the country 12 hours later. The remains of the train, reminiscent of a Bond set, now form an interesting museum, while a giant monument to Cuba’s favourite Argentine (that’s Che) has been built on the outskirts of town. As such, a change of refreshment in favour of something

A FAMILY AFFAIR MI CASA ES TU CASA

Fairy tale: an old style taxi in Trinidad’s main square more revolutionary seems imperative, and so I leave my beloved Mojitos in favour of a Cuba Libre. Actually nothing to do with Guevara’s liberation of his adopted homeland, this cocktail, essentially a rum and coke with lime, earned its name 60 years earlier, when Cuba gained its independence from Spain. The liberation party was clearly a long one, as Coca Cola didn’t arrive in Cuba until 1900, two years after the US had helped chuck the Spanish out. But more than a century later, it’s still an apt label, as it’s the easiest DIY cocktail on the road, thanks to my $3 bottle of Havana Club, even if I must make do with cans of communism-friendly TuKola, rather than the original Coke.

Photos: Andrew Westbrook; Thinkstock; Getty

Up in smoke Now overflowing with revolutionary spirit, it’s time to head onwards, towards the south coast and the World Heritagelisted town of Trinidad, which is that rarest of things – a much-hyped destination that delivers what it promises. The main square is straight out of a period drama, bursting with colonial buildings and cigar-smoking characters. It’s a town so charming it feels like the setting of a fairy tale. Mornings are filled with horse riding trips to waterfalls in the surrounding mountains, the afternoons spent driving to the beach in classic cars. Evenings are for the next on my cocktail list – the Daiquiri. Like both the Mojito and Cuba Libre, the central ingredients are still rum and lime juice, yet the Daiquiri has just one extra flavour, a dash of sugar syrup. Delivered

The tightly controlled nature of the Cuban economy means that basically all hotels are at least partly state-owned. More often than not, they’re run-down and overpriced. Backpacker hostels don’t really exist in Cuba so your best bet is a casa particular. These are small guesthouses where families have secured a licence to rent out one of their spare rooms. The rooms, which normally sleep two to four, are about $25. Most casas also offer huge, tasty home-cooked dinners, which are reasonably priced (expect to pay $8 for meat, $10 for fish or $12 for lobster). Bear in mind you might find yourself going cold turkey from the internet while in Cuba. It is available, but generally involves long queues, painfully slow speeds and high prices. As such, if you like to plan your accommodation, do it before you arrive. Otherwise, guidebooks like Lonely Planet list their favourite casas or simply knock on a door bearing the blue anchor symbol that means they take tourists (an orange anchor means they’re a casa, but for Cubans). Your best bet is often to get your current host to recommend and book somewhere at your next destination. casaparticularcuba.org

in a cocktail glass, it’s the epitome of old-fashioned elegance, making Trinidad the perfect place to sample one. With little to dilute the rum, they also leave my head spinning, causing me to stumble home through the cobbled streets. The next morning, my eyes still blurry with Daiquiries, I start heading west again, venturing beyond Havana to the tobacco country of Viñales for my final stop. Steep-sided dolomite hills rise sharply out of the lush plains surrounding the town, offering welcome shade to the sombrero-clad farmers who take a break from their toils to suck on the region’s world-famous produce. After all, from Cohibas to Montecristos, this is where many of Cuba’s cigars begin life. If Trinidad is the pin-up star of Cuba’s preserved architecture, then Viñales gets the tiara for hands-down natural beauty. As such, I’ve got one heavyweight cocktail left to try and this place seems as good as any. The drink is known simply as the Hemingway and it takes its name from the cigar-loving writer who called Cuba his home for decades. Based on the Daiquiri, The Old Man And The Sea author added grapefruit juice and maraschino liqueur, plus doubled up the rum. It certainly doesn’t take many of them to appreciate its creator’s infamous self-destructive qualities. Fortunately, the size of Viñales makes the now customary stagger home mercilessly quick. And so, another hangover, another bus, another call of “what country?” and I’m back in Havana, my tour of the time warp complete. Well, not quite. Maybe there’s time for one more Mojito... ❚ TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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APRIL 25TH

plona, La Tom with FFT to Pam d lle ve tra ve ha “I al Rock! “ xt? - First Festiv ne re he W . st fe and Oktober

The 25th April is one of New Zealand and Australia’s most important days, where we remember the ANZAC’s who have fought bravely, and especially those in WW1. Whether you choose Turkey or The Western Front in Belgium you will be left with lasting memories of the sites visited and the rememberance services that we will share. We have various tours on sale now for all our packages in 2014

Gallipoli We have a variety of packages from 2 days - 2 weeks. You can experience the diverse culture of Turkey, visit some of the worlds most famous hertiage sites. The Dawn Service at ANZAC Cove will be a poignant reminder of those lives lost.

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The city of Brugges is well known for it’s winter wonderland of xmas markets not to mention the beer, the chocolate and other gastronomic delights. Our weekend package includes coach transport and hotel accommodation and vist to Brugges & Brussels Join us for some Xmas cheer

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With still the middle and closing weekends left - there is still plenty of time to get your Beerfest fix for 2013. With 14 Beerhalls to choose from, an array of German Food and a Fairground to make you dizzy, this is your ultimate party weekend. We have Hostel & Hotel options available on all weekends.

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The city of Edinburgh plays host to Europes biggest New Years street party. Packages are now on sale for you to experience the party of the year. Street party, band Parades mid winter swims and traditional dancing are just a few things you can experience.

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The All Blacks are back in November, to take on the French, who will have much to prove after their NZ Series and we all know how unpredicable they are! We have Eurostar/ Hotel packages or if you want to make your own way just Hotel packages. See our website for full itinearies

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Join us in Dublin for a weekend of Rugby Craic ! The locals are always keen for a party and we’re pretty keen to have a go with them! Our packages are both Hostel or Hotel and all city centre. Please note this game is being played on Sunday afternoon.

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18/09/2013 13:11:05

VAL D’ISERE – DECEMB ER 20-29, 2013

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