1591 by TNT Magazine

March 2015 Issue 1591 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

AN ANZA TOUR IN C DAY TUR FOR TWO KEY !

FROM ARMIDALE TO THE APPRENTICE Mark Wright shows expats how it’s done

SH*T JUST GOT WEIRD This year’s most unusual festivals

! P I R T D A O R R E SUMM

urope time E r u o T n a V heads-up, it’s a r e v li r u o y er and give Grab a camp

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EDITORIAL Editor Caroline Garnar Contributors Michael Gadd l Andrew Westbrook l Erica Camus l Grant Mills l Katherine Weir l Racheal Getzels EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES 0203 011 1066 SALES/MARKETING/EVENTS Sales Executive Matt Syder PHONE 0207 9890491 EMAIL matt.syder@tntmagazine.com For all general enquiries please call 0207 989 0567 or email sales@tntmagazine.com DESIGN / PRODUCTION Head of design and production Lisa Ferron PHONE 01225 284107 EMAIL lisa.ferron@tntmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTIONS / DISTRIBUTION Manager Caroline Penn PHONE 01603 559004 EMAIL caroline.penn@tntmagazine.com ACCOUNTS Emma Overton EMAIL emma.overton@tntmagazine.com STARTRACK MEDIA LTD Directors Kevin Ellis, Ken Hurst Stuart Bidgood PUBLISHER Startrack Media Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Polestar NEWS AAP PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock and iStock TNT Magazine Star Track Media Ltd 3rd Floor St. Vedast House St. Vedast Street Norwich NR1 1BT tntmagazine.com

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FROM THE EDITOR The Heathrow injection, couch surfing, bar working, trading Vegemite for Marmite... there are some things every Antipodean expat must go through. The Van Tour Europe is also one such thing. If you have spoken to any other Australian, Kiwi or Saffa expats, which I’d imagine you have unless you are mute, they will tell you this epic road trip across the continent is a rite of passage for all Antipodeans calling the northern hemisphere home-for-now. It makes sense: you’re here to explore this side of the world, so why not see the majority in one go; you like to drink a hell of a lot, so why not drink the majority of Europe’s grog in one go; you like to have sex with lots of hot people, so why not... you get the idea. Turn to page 16 to find out how and when to get involved. If you’re in London because of the career opportunities too, you’d do well to turn to page 24 to be inspired by the latest winner of The Apprentice, Aussie Mark Wright. From washing cars in Armidale to partnering up with one of Britain’s biggest business moguls, Lord Sugar, he’s done alright for himself since moving to London, and he credits it all to his Australian roots. Another Aussie expat who’s about to hit the big time is Francesca Haig, whose new novel has already been snapped up by DreamWorks and is being hailed as the next Hunger Games. See page 34 for our interview with her. If you are thinking big when it comes to your career goals here, you probably can’t afford to take the summer off to go on one big European piss-up. But you still have to take some travel time out, so why not head for a weird and wonderful festival, from worm-charming to cheese rolling (p28); or, talking of weird, celebrate the 150th anniversary of the psychedelic adventures of Alice in Wonderland, and in the real girl’s holiday town of Llandudno in Wales, no less (p48). Further afield, you can get some last-minute time on the slopes before the snow melts away (p58), explore the giant movie set that is New York (p66), discover the less tourist-riddled Pacific Coast of Mexico (p74), or unwrap the beautiful and mysterious Jordan (p70 – we’d imagine we don’t have to tell you that we’re talking about the country, not the past-it glamour model here). No matter what your expat experience, make the most of it. Those two years fly by.

caroline.garnar@tntmagazine.com

Bilbao BBK Live

La Tomatina

Tripping in Thailand

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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THIS MONTH LONDON DIARY 8 LONDON INSIDER

TNT NEWS

FOOD 14 DRINK 15 VAN TOUR EUROPE 16

MARK WRIGHT 24 WEIRD SUMMER FESTIVALS 28 CHATROOM

2015 FORMULA 1

TRAVEL TRAVEL NEWS 42 TOP 5: WATER PARKS 44 UK TRIP: ALICE IN WALES 48

FESTIVAL GUIDE: SAN FERMIN 54 EURO TRIP: RUDE SKIING 58

ON THE COVER

WEEKENDER: NEW YORK

SUMMER ROAD TRIP!

LATE DEALS 68 HOTSHOTS 69 A GUIDE TO: JORDAN

MARK WRIGHT SH*T JUST GOT WEIRD

BIG TRIP: MEXICO

This year’s most unusual festivals

TRAVEL TIPS

28 54

The lowdown on the San Fermin festival

It’s not too late to hit those slopes

LIVING: SETTLING IN

DESPERATELY SEEKING 90 RECRUITMENT 88 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

PAMPLONA BULLS LOW-SEASON SKIING

CAREERS: CARE WORK

From Armidale to The Apprentice

LIFESTYLE

It’s Van Tour Europe time...

NEW YORK WEEKENDER

Step into the movie set and enjoy

MEXICO’S WEST SIDE Have your senses brought to life

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THIS MONTH’S TOP PICKS LIONEL RITCHIE

HOLI FESTIVAL

Mar 1 & 31

Mar 3

Yes, really. It’s a rare chance to say ‘hello’ to the five-time Grammy winner all night long while dancing on the ceiling and, er, being three times a lady. We’ll stop now. The one-time Commodore, 100 million album-selling legend doesn’t make it to the UK much, so don’t miss out.

The spring Hindu festival of Holi – a celebration of all things love and colour – is upon us, so what better way to mark the occasion than with cocktails, right? This night at a pop-up bar, where entrance includes three cocktails, is all about the Bombay gin and technicolour.

Times vary The O2, Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk

6-10pm Spirited Sermons, Fitzrovia, W1 Goodge St edibleexperiences.com

£41+

£25

THIS MONTH’S MUST-DO ST PATRICK’S DAY Mar 15-17 Whip out your finest green wig, brush up on your mildly insulting accent and prepare for an indecent amount of Guinness as it’s time for the Paddy’s Day shenanigans. The saint’s day itself is on Tuesday March 17, but the Sunday before will involve a free festival in Trafalgar Square, from noon until 6pm, which follows the annual St Patrick’s Day Parade.

FREE

Time to get craic-ing

Trafalgar Square

visitlondon.com

NOEL FIELDING EXHIBITION

MARK LITTLE’S #SECRETMEETINGS

BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL

Mar 5, 12, 19 & 26

Mar 7-21

Mar 7, 14 & 15

he’ll always be Joe Mangel, but luckily we’re also happy to make do with Mark Little’s current day job, that of uncompromising, eclectic and improvisational comedian. The multi-talented Aussie’s in town with his new show for a run of Thursdays.

Catch some of the best outdoor flicks to feature at last November’s main festival in Canada, now on its epic global tour. Each night features half a dozen or so short films of varying styles, but all inspired by an outdoor and extreme mountain life of adventure.

Yep, that’s right. Mr Fielding is more than a simple purveyor of Shoreditchbased surreal comedy. He’s also been exhibiting his art for a good few years. His latest show, ‘He Wore Dreams Around Unkind Faces’, can be found in the ground floor corridor at the Albert Hall.

9.15pm Museum of Comedy, St George’s Church, WC1A 2SR Holborn museumofcomedy.com

7.30pm Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN Highbury banff-uk.com

10am-1pm Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP South Kensington royalalberthall.com

£10 In our heart of hearts,

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£13+

FREE

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN: SAVAGE BEAUTY Mar 14-Aug 2 After taking New York’s Met by storm, this first retrospective of the late, great Alexander McQueen, one of Britain’s most celebrated catwalk kings, is likely to be the hottest fashion ticket in town. £17+

From 10am V&A, Cromwell Rd, SW7 2RL South Kensington vam.ac.uk

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The Dude abides: catch The Big Lebowski at the Drive-In

DRIVE-IN FILM CLUB Mar 10-27

£22 Find yourself a space, recline, and enjoy some classic

reels from the comfort of your wheels, all in the shadow of the 140-year-old Alexandra Palace. If you’re peckish, fear not, as rollerskating staff will be on hand to deliver window snacks. The price is per car and films range from Boyhood to Grease.

Compiled by: Andrew Westbrook. Photos: iStock, supplied

Times vary. Doors open 1.5 hours before screenings start Pavilion Car Park, Alexandra Palace, N22 7AY Hammersmith experiencecinema.com

HEAD OF THE RIVER RACE Mar 29 No, it’s not that boat race, but this is massive. Running since 1926, the annual rowing event sees hundreds of eight-man boats sprint the 4.25 mile stretch of the river from Mortlake to Putney. Last year’s winner goes first before the others set off in 10-second intervals. FREE

Noon Mortlake to Putney Putney Bridge horr.co.uk

Tuesday 16th - Saturday 20th June 2015

RACING LIKE N OW HERE ELS E Secure your place at this one of a kind event by booking your tickets at ascot.co.uk Tickets £19 - £78 per person* Fine Dining from £250 per person +VAT

*If purchased before 31st March 2015

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Des Bishop: An IrishAmerican talking Chinese in England

Stephen Mangan is in solid form for Rules For Living at the National

COMEDY NIGHTS

EXHIBITIONS

THEATRE

RUBY WAX: SANE NEW WORLD MAR 2-14 / 7.30PM / £20+ The quick-quipping American has 10 shows in which to explain her manual on how to survive the 21st century.

INVENTING IMPRESSIONISM MAR 4-MAY 31 / £18 The UK’s first major exhibition devoted to the man considered the godfather of Impressionism, Paris art dealer Paul Durand-Ruel, who discovered and championed the early artists.

THE ARMOUR ENDS APR 4 / FROM £25 Aussie playwright Ben Ellis’s drama about the effects of empire celebrates the 150th anniversary of Europe’s oldest grand hotel.

St James Theatre 12 Palace St, SW1E 5JA

Victoria

stjamestheatre.co.uk

National Gallery

STEPHEN K AMOS: WELCOME TO MY WORLD MAR 10-21 / 7.30PM / £15+ Fresh from sell-out tours Down Under, the feelgood comic is in town for an 11-show residency. Soho Theatre 21 Dean St, W1D 3NE

Portland Place, Regent Street W1B 1JA

Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN Charing Cross

Tottenham Court Rd

sohotheatre.com

Langham Hotel Oxford Circus

defibrillatortheatre.com

nationalgallery.org.uk

LEON GOLUB: BITE YOUR TONGUE MAR 4-MAY 17 / FREE A first London exhibition of the late American figurative artist since 2000, panning decades of his politically charged paintings. Serpentine Gallery

Dorfman at the National South Bank, SE1 9PX

Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA South Kensington

RULES FOR LIVING ENDS JUL 8 / £15 – £40 An extended family gather for a traditional Christmas lunch in Sam Holcroft’s playful new comedy starring Stephen Mangan. Waterloo

nationaltheatre.org.uk

serpentinegalleries.org

DES BISHOP: MADE IN CHINA MAR 31-APR 11 / 7.30PM / £10 The truly hilarious Irish-American recounts his trip to China, where he attempted to learn Mandarin and do a show for a Chinese audience.

BEARD MAR 5-29 / FREE Get some face-hair appreciation going with this collection of 80 beardy portraits from Mr Elbank.

LORD OF THE DANCE: DANGEROUS GAMES ENDS SEP 5 / £29.50 – £65 Catch Michael Flatley’s final performances before he hangs up his Riverdancing shoes.

Soho Theatre

Somerset House

Dominion

21 Dean St, W1D 3NE

Tottenham Court Rd

sohotheatre.com

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Strand, WC2R 1LA

Covent Garden

somersethouse.org.uk

Tottenham Court Road, W1T 7AQ Tottenham Court Rd

lordofthedance.com

Photos: Supplied, Wiki Commons

Ruby Wax explains how we sabotage our own sanity

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CLUB NIGHTS

GIGS

BUTTONED DOWN DISCO MAR 7 / 9PM-3.30AM / £10 One of the capital’s biggest indie parties is back, with resident DJ Christian Laing on the decks. It’s free before 10pm, but the queues can be massive. It’s also invite-only, so make sure you head to the website in advance to get it sorted.

JUNGLE MAR 3 / 7PM / £18.50 This time last year, electro-pop collective Jungle were the worst-kept secret of the up-and-coming scene. Soon enough, the west Londoner’s debut album secured a Mercury nomination and the word was out. Now one of the bands to see, this gig sold out ages back, so beg, borrow, steal…

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE

WATCH THIS

Roundhouse

Mornington Crescent

Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8EH

koko.uk.com

Chalk Farm

roundhouse.org.uk

Gong-laden Sam Smith is probably a bit cheerier now

SIX NATIONS RUGBY St Vincent: aka singer/songwriter Annie Clark TRANCE SANCTUARY MAR 14 / 3PM-11.30PM / £10+ Celebrating its fourth birthday party, Trance Santuary is cramming in the acts at its ideal venue The Egg, with its four stages set across a Balearicstyle exterior and warehouse-esque inside. Egg London

UNDERWORLD MAR 6 / 7PM / £46+ Still going strong (must be all that lager), the dance duo return to their seminal 1994 record dubnobasswithmyheadman. Eventim Apollo Hammersmith 45 Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH

200 York Way, N7 9AX

Hammersmith

King’s Cross

eventimapollo.com

egglondon.co.uk

PLAYAZ EASTER SPECIAL MAR 27 / 11PM-7AM / £19+ London’s heavyweight drum ‘n’ bass venue is in no danger of letting the quality slide as regulars DJ Hype and the Playaz crew lead a lengthy list of all-stars through the FabricLive all-nighter. Fabric

O2 Academy Brixton 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL Brixton

77a Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ Farringdon

CARIBOU MAR 14 / 7PM / £17.50 The Canadian also known as Dan Snaith will be demonstrating his psychedelic sounds and sure to be offering a preview of his upcoming album.

o2shepherd’sbushempire.co.uk

fabriclondon.com

SKREAM ALL NIGHT LONG MAR 28 / 9PM-4AM / £13.50+ XOYO’s current big-name Saturday resident Skream and his buddies work their magic at one of the capital’s most cutting-edge clubs. XOYO

SAM SMITH MAR 25, 26 & 27 / 7PM / £27.50 Fresh from his quadruple Grammy win and cracking of America, it’s fair to say the “Stay with Me” singer is the man of the moment. O2 Academy Brixton

Billed as the annual rugby union tournament that decides who’s leading the pack in the Northern Hemisphere, the Six Nations is now well underway. England, current table-toppers with a tight away win against Wales already under their belts, are hoping the wait to be champions again won’t stretch beyond the current four years. But the big tests are still to come. After a trip to defending champions Ireland on March 1, England are back at Twickenham to see out the tournament by playing host to Scotland on March 14 before the big one on March 21, when France come to London to play the final game of the Six Nations. Both matches kickoff at 5pm. Being among the already sold-out Twickenham crowds of 82,000 is an experience not to be missed. If you’ve not got a ticket, but do have a wedge of spare cash, there’s still hope for you through the four online ticket exchanges – viagogo. co.uk, seatwave.com, getmein.com and stubhub.co.uk. But be warned, it’ll cost you at least £300.

211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL

Twickenham

32 Cowper Street, EC2A 4AP

Brixton

rbs6nations.com

Old Street

o2shepherd’sbushempire.co.uk

xoyo.co.uk

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IN ASSOCIATION WITH

Sometimes, Londoners are barmy. An example is when on a cold, rainy, windy Sunday, masses of them shrug off their hangovers and climb out of their warm, cosy beds to stand in a queue for a bowl of cereal. A. Bowl. Of. Cereal. Yes, I’m talking about the Cereal Killer Cafe, which inspired the spin-off, now equally as successful, crisp cafe in Belfast (originally opened as a piss-take) and now, apparently, there is also set to be a porridge cafe in London. So when my date suggested we go to the Cereal Killer Cafe for, er, breakfast, I instantly put him in my barmy box (mentally, not literally. I don’t actually have said box, that would be cruel). The queuing part certainly allows ample getting-to-knoweach-other time, albeit while trying not to poke each other in the eye with your brollies and hoping you pull off the windswept look. Once inside, my hungover self does a little heave as I see a blackboard emblazoned with the word ‘cocktails’. Soon. though, I’m like an excited child as I realise it’s just mixed bowls of cereal, and with boxes of the stuff lining the walls, I suddenly catch Cereal Killer Cafe fever. ‘Oh my God they’ve got Cheerios...Fruit Loops...Pop Tarts... Weetos!’. In fact they’ve got more than 120 cereals, many of which I never

Image: Kate Ashton

Cereal Killer Cafe

even knew existed – WWF Superstar cereal anyone? With all the sugar going to my head, I opt for the colourfully named Unicorn Poop: a concoction of Fruit Pebbles, Fruit Loops, freeze-dried marshmallows and strawberry milk. Eating it at a table surrounded by Care Bears, the Coco Pops monkey and posters of a young Johnny Depp, I feel like I’m in some sort of sugar-induced ’80s paradise, and I love it. So it appears I have been converted – or perhaps I’ve just gone a bit barmy too. By Caroline Garnar Open 7am-10pm; 139 Brick Lane, E1 6SB cerealkillercafe.co.uk

MYLONDON When I want to chill out I... lay on the sofa in my flat watching Law and Order, drinking tea and eating shortbread biscuits – with a facemask on.

Park (unless its raining – in which case I’m on the sofa again watching Law and Order).

The most interesting person I’ve met in London is... Tony Blair and his wife Cherie at a function held for Cherie Blair Foundation for Women. They were a charming couple.

My perfect weekend in London would be... breakfast on Saturday at Dishoom Bombay Cafe, followed by shopping on Oxford Street, dinner and theatre in the evening, and a relaxing Sunday.

My favourite spot to take visitors is... Dr Leah clinic of course! They can take in the chic setting, enjoy a refreshing drink and maybe even have a complimentary skin analysis with one of our expert team members.

Five words that sum up London are... exciting, vibrant, diverse, busy and fun.

My favourite spot in London is... the Heron Tower – two great restaurants, cocktail bar and fab views over London.

What I love most about London is... the vibrancy. There is always something going on! It’s such an exciting place to be.

drleah.co.uk

My favourite place for dinner is... Gaucho on Charlotte street. Superb setting, friendly staff and wonderful food. When you’re hungover in London you can’t beat... a walk in Hyde

DR LEAH TOTTON CLINIC OWNER & WINNER OF THE APPRENTICE 2013 12

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AUSTRALIA TO PERFORM IN THE EUROVISION...EH? Australia has been invited to compete in this year’s Eurovision song contest as a special guest at the musical extravaganza’s 60th anniversary show. Already fans have started an online petition calling for pop queen Kylie Minogue to represent Australia at the iconic festival. The cheesy annual talent show has a devoted following in Australia, and around 3 million viewers tuned in last year to see ‘bearded lady’ Conchita Wurst triumph for Austria with her song, ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’. This year’s show in Vienna will now mark a sensational and unexpected Eurovision debut for Australia. It’s only scheduled as a one-off, but should the Aussies win they’ll be invited back to defend the title next year. Jon Olsa Sand, from show organiser the European Broadcasting Union (EBU), said it would be remiss to “throw the world’s biggest party” for the 60th anniversary without inviting “the show’s Australian friends”. Sadly, Jason Donovan has already ruled himself out of representing his country. It also seems unlikely that his former Neighbours sweetheart Miss Minogue will be pursuing Conchita’s crown – but could her arm be twisted by public demand? Several Australian stars have performed in the show, including Olivia Newton John, who represented the UK with ‘Long Live Love’ (1974), and Gina G, who flew the UK flag with ‘Ooh Aah...Just a Little Bit’ (1996). More recently, Jane Comerford was the lead singer for German entry ‘Texas Lightning’ in 2006. So, if they’re letting us in the Eurovision song contest, surely the next natural step is to let us into the European Union?!

Images: iStock. Words: Trevor Burton

AUSSIES AND KIWIS SHOWN NEW V-SIGN OVER VISAS Aussie and Kiwi travellers to the UK are being walloped by an inflation-busting 8% hike in the cost of essential visitor and work permits. The move comes as a bitter blow following the Westminster debate in which MPs discussed proposals to make it easier for Antipodeans to live and work in the UK. “Being a subject from one of Her Majesty’s realms or being from a Commonwealth nation should count for something when looking to visit, work, study or live in the United Kingdom,” said Romford MP Andrew Rosindell at the debate on Tuesday January 27. “At the moment it appears to count for little.” Rosindell said the UK had placed “most of our eggs in the EU basket”, and had lost out by shunning citizens from countries with traditional ties. However, they may be willing to fight for us, but they also want to charge us for it… Six-month entry visas to the UK will rise modestly from £83 to £85 for 2015/16, but the cost of a six-12 month visa will shoot up from £150 to £162. The cost of a two-year visitor’s visa goes up from £300 to £324 and a five-year visa rockets from £544 to a whopping £588. There’s bad news too for those who want to work in the UK and become full-blown expats, with the cost of a tier 5 visa – available to 18-30-year-olds who wish to work and holiday for up to two years – also rising by 8% from £208 to £225. To add insult to injury, the hikes have been announced in the wake of a UK inflation rate of just 0.5 per cent in 2014, falling even lower to 0.3% in January this year – the lowest level since records began.

YEE-ARRRGH! BOFFINS WARN COWGIRL SEX IS A COCK-BUSTER Brazilian boffins reckon the ‘cowgirl’ position – in which the woman takes control as she kneels astride her fella – is responsible for an eye-watering half of all penile fractures suffered in the bedroom. Doggy-style sex accounts for a further 29% of injuries, whereas the good old unadventurous ‘man on top’ missionary position is responsible for only 21%. We hate to spell it out, but a penile fracture involves a rupture which occurs when the blood-engorged penis is suddenly and forcefully bent in the heights of passion. Put simply, it can happen should the old John Thomas momentarily slip out just as the woman is landing – in cowgirl – or the man is thrusting in during ‘doggy’. Excuse us while we wince. The ruptured ramrod usually requires urgent surgery, and, not surprisingly, the injury can result in erectile dysfunction, painful sex and a permanently bent joystick. (We’re still wincing.) Doctors and academics examined patients with suspected penile fractures at three accident and emergency units in the city of Campinas, in Brazil, over a 13 year period. Half reported hearing a crack before experiencing pain (you don’t say?), with some also suffering swelling (stop it – it’s not funny). Happily, the injury is relatively rare, with only 42 men diagnosed over the study period. 28 were injured in heterosexual romps, four during gay sex, six as a result of “penis manipulation” and four in “unclear circumstances”. Intriguing...

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BITE SIZE MORE NEW JAPANESE EATERIES

BEER & BUNS, APPOLD ST Hungry XXXXX hirata bun lovers and Japanese craft beer enthusiasts will be in their Xxxxxxxx element with pillow-soft steamed buns and the UK’s largest selection of [web] Japanese craft beers on offer at the Beer & Buns pop-up in East London. XXXXX Served in a unique izakaya-style setting, Xxxxxxxx complete with retro pinball machines and fussball tables. [web] beerandbuns.co.uk

XXXXX SHACKFUYU, Xxxxxxxx SOHO From the creators of Bone Daddies ramen [web]bar t and Flesh and Buns, Shackfuyu is offering an innovative and ever-changing Japanese menu with a unique twist thanks to the use of the Compton Street restaurant’s old pizza oven to cook the dishes. Keep an eye on the website for menu updates, which will focus around one main ingredient. Sip on a frozen margarita while you wait for your table (no bookings taken) and jive to the rock and roll. bonedaddies.com/shackfuyu

DEN Japanese udon restaurant, King’s Cross

On a cold and rainy night, we ducked into a bright space on the corner of a dark London street to be welcomed by a warm buzz and delicious smells wafting from bowls of steaming noodle soup. With Wagamama-esque benches, we took a seat and perused the paper place mat menu. I was soon distracted from choosing, however, by the excitement of my date as she returned from the toilet... den has high-tech dunnies, with all kinds of jets and even a heated toilet seat. Half tempted to ask if we could be served our food in the ladies, we thought better of it and simply asked for the manager’s recommendations. THE GRUB The chef and waiting staff at den are Japanese, but the manager, rather strangely, is Italian. This goes to explain why the noodle dishes are called ‘carbonara’. He has good knowledge of the menu, though, and we are happy to take his suggestion to share a few tsuamamis (small plates) before having hot udon noodles in soup. As udon has fewer calories than soba, ramen or pasta, we opt for a couple of naughtier tempura dishes to start. Unfortunately the batter on the veg is a little soggy and under-flavoured, although the chicken kara-age (basically Japanese fried chicken) is better, with a gingery taste and tender meat. Next up, our huge steaming bowls of udon noodle soup arrive. There’s something unbeatably comforting about this sort of food. The udon noodles are fat and juicy with a firm, satisfying texture. The soup is a little light on flavour (I would order the ‘black broth’ option next time, which has more soy), but this is bettered with a generous sprinkling of chilli flakes. Unfortunately the duck meat I chopstick out of my bowl is a little spongy, with a similar texture to tongue. My date fares better with her chunks of flaky salmon. BEHIND THE BAR: Schochu and sake are served alongside a decent selection of beer and wine. There are a few refreshing cocktails too, such as the ginger vodka. BILL PLEASE: Tsumami around £6, udon around £9, beer and wine from £3.50. VERDICT: Comforting food that’s low in calories – a rarity. den just needs to up its flavour content and we’d be regulars. THE SCENE

Photos: supplied. Words: Caroline Garnar

ZINNIA, CHELSEA Set in a stunning Georgian building, lunch diners can enjoy Bento boxes, light sharing plates, a range of sushi and, afterwards, an Asian-inspired afternoon tea. The evening a la carte menu features highlights such as sushi with ahi tuna and hamachi, Dorset crab, aged sirloin tataki, and miso black cod. The bartenders specialise in Japanese whisky and sake cocktails. zinnia-restaurant.co.uk

2 Acton Street, WC1X 9NA

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King’s Cross

den-udon.uk.com

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cash saVers SIMMONS FITZROVIA Cocktail bar with a great happy hour, Fitzrovia

Dreams come brew keiSha herBert, 24 We all know that JoB Market researcher Simmons bars are popping up all over the place. They’re in King’s Cross pounding headache from FroM Leeds and this one opened in Fitzrovia just over three months ago, and there’sGreen tooCamden, much cheap bubbly LiveS Bethnal another soon to appear in Tower Bridge. So it must be doing something right, the night before. Well and have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with its happy hour. thiswe year your dream of How do you budget? Orwaking five. Every night from 4pm-9pm it offers two for £10 on house cocktails, and expenses and up hangover-free After monthly can become ita also reality with adding a bit for to my savings, Sunday-Friday offers spirit and mixers, bottled beer and glasses of wine 50% off bottles a stellarofbottle I try set myself a weekly just £2.50, wine for £10, and bottles of Prosecco (exclusive toto Simmons of champagne. Usually spendingthis amount. It can be Fitzrovia) and cocktail sharing teapots for £15. As you might have guessed, costing £29.75, Heidsieck when some weeks place is rather popular with the after-work crowd. You will have todifficult vie for space Blue Top £15 downstairs a pop at in its cavernous basement where theare busier than others, but before 9pm,isboth DJ spins until Asda. Or you can opt for a I always try to go with the 1am, and upstairs, which looks a bit like the home of a granny who wants to rebottle of ‘I heart Prosecco’ cheapest options. live Studio 54 Budgens, days: assorted vintage lamps, clocks and furniture meet neon forher £9.99 from and a sparkly Rhythm skull-shaped Tesco.com, & disco ball. It shouldn’t work, but it does.Do you have any tips for BEHIND THE BAR The menu is an entertaining read featuring drunk grannies fit in London? Booze or Londis. saving and money THE SCENE

barmaids. Aside from that, the cocktails from the happy hour list include I try to the takebasic my own lunch a Fighting chance intoand work but I don’t always classics – a refreshing Mojito, boozy Long Island Ice Tea, classic Cosmo a ‘My The Those originswith of the manage that. Thai’. a sweet tooth will want to order off-list, choosing between theA Taste Card term ‘Boxing are Strawberry CakeDay’ or Toblerone... yummers. undecided, but we all BILL PLEASE Outside of happy hour you’re looking at £7-9.50 for a cocktail. know it’s due to the VERDICT The ideal place to start your night for a steal.

snap it up Do some celeb stalking at super-star hangout Gilgamesh in Camden. The famous restaurant is offering 50% off its £55 set menu through December. Just try not to tussle with the 3 OF THEpaps BEST professional outside, waiting for a star spot. See lastminute.com NEW BRUNCHES

Last big blow-out? I went to a second-hand clothes fair last month. Instead of leaving with a few cheap bargains, I ended up spending a lot more money than I imagined! I spent the last week of that month on a very small budget. What non-essential items do you spend money on? Each month I get something new to refresh my wardrobe. And if there’s a special occasion, that’s another excuse to hit the shops.

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Goodge Street

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Spend it like Beckham

You know when you buy a fancy new toy and don’t know where to keep it? David Beckham faced this conundrum when he bought a Miami football team for £16 million but couldn’t find a stadium for them. So he’s building one...

EL PATRON For something fun and fiery, head to this brunch, which is making (Mexican) waves on the dining scene. Plow your way through street food and wash it all down with tequila cocktails. Oh and don’t forget your moustache and poncho. elpatronlondon.com Beckham the big spender

❚ At least Beckham has earned his ridiculous fortune honestly – his old team, Manchester United, B&H BUILDINGS are the most valuable sports Quirky club inand thequintessentially world, clocking English, B&H is serving up in at £1.4 billion. a menu including eggs Benedict, bubble ❚ Nothingdrop canscones, get in the way business J-Lo and ex&ofsqueak andfor crumpets. husbandinclude Marc Anthony. The Cocktails classic divorced still Marys co-own Bellinis andpair Bloody the Miami Dolphins. Looks with free refills. like a sports team is for life, bourneandhollingsworth.com not just for Christmas.

Do more Spend less

❚ Basketball team Chicago Sky never have a problem finding someone to sing the national anthem given LIMA FLORAL that former Destiny’s Child LIMA Floral has two weekend member, Michelle Williams, brunch a threeowns options: a share of the club. course Andean breakfast and a ❚three-course sharing star brunch. Former basketball Magic close Johnson part of Staying to itswas Peruvian a £1.2billion dealinclude to buy the roots, both menus bankrupt LAfull Dodgers. dishes packed of key That’s a hefty price for a team with native ingredients. no money. Sounds like he limalondon.com may have missed a trick.

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Photos: supplied and Getty. Words: Rachael Getzels

punches that are thrown 28 Maple St, Fitzrovia, W1T 6HP as eager shoppers try to get the best deals on the first day of major nationwide sales. Oxford Street will be prime territory with up to 70% off all high street brands. Get ready to rumble.

is really good for getting discounts at restaurants.

Need to pop your road trip cherry? Do it in a campervan, with hundreds of fellow Antipodeans joining in the fun… WORDS: CAROLINE GARNAR

› B U L C 0 0 1 › › S O G A L › › N I M R SAN FE 16

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T S E F R E B UB ›› OKTO

Van Tour Europe is the Antipodean expat’s rite of passage. The ultimate road trip, it’s a top way to see loads of Europe in one go, hit up the biggest festivals, and get absolutely ratted along the way. Even though it’s called a ‘tour’, there are no guides and no itinerary. It’s effectively one huge convoy of campers making their way from one side of Europe to the other. Many go via different routes, meaning you can make it up as you go along; met a hottie in Lisbon? Follow them to Seville by all means – just don’t get stalker-y, that’s weird. Loving the surf in Lisbon? Stay there for a few extra days and skip on Venice (you can’t surf on canals, after all). The rules are, as the cool folk in Grease say, there are no rules. Just chat with your fellow vanners and see what their plan is. This is also useful for finding out where the best camp sites are for Euro Tourers – you don’t want to end up pulling into a site full of families, as their children will likely cry just at the sight of you. On these here pages you will discover the main stops to make, the festivals to hit, and an idea for an itinerary, along with tips for renting a van. For starters, rent with Spaceships Campervan Hire (spaceshipsrentals.co.uk) or Wicked Campers (wickedcampers.co.uk) and you can’t go far wrong. The most important thing at this stage, though, is to call your mates up, hand in a lengthy holiday form at work, and start detoxing your liver – it’s going to need it… The main stops offs There are four main stop offs, which is as ‘official’ as this tour gets. The first campervan congregation occurs July 7-14 at the San Fermin Festival in Pamplona, made famous by the running of the bulls. The next spot where the majority of vanners meet again is in Lagos, Portugal, and then you converge for the big finale, the 100 Club party, which is held in Munich the day before Oktoberfest (September 19-October 4); funnily enough, everyone hangs around for this 15-day beer festival too. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Running with the bulls

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Living the life in Lagos

Running of the Bulls, July 7-14

Oktoberfest, September 19-October 4

This crazy tradition started for practical reasons – to get the bulls from outside the city into the bull ring. Now it has become a huge tourist attraction where brave/crazy people try to outrun the bulls. Animal activists hope such people get a horn in an uncomfortable place as they believe it is cruel, but whether you say bully for them or bullshit, it is here that you first meet your fellow vanners, and there’s still plenty to do beyond the bulls (see our feature on p54 for more).

They might make you wear lederhosen, eat weird-sounding things like wiener schnitzel, and dance like your dad to a brass band, but the Germans serve beers by the stein, which can hold a litre, so all is forgiven. Plus, girls look surprisingly hot in lederhosen. This 15-day festival of beer glorious beer is lots of raucous fun, and the perfect way to bid auf Wiedersehen to your fellow vanners.

Lagos, Portugal, end of July

These festivals also take place during or just before the tour, so check out which ones you want to go to and make sure you incorporate them into your trip.

This is where the majority of vanners head for after the chaos of Pamplona. Here, you can chill out on the sand and surf in the waves – but don’t go getting too relaxed. You’ll be back on it again come nightfall, when the camper crowd hit the cheap and lively bars and clubs of this Portuguese tourist town. 100 Club, September 18 This pre-party party is – and you’ll find this hard to believe after what your liver’s already been through – the biggest of them all. The vanners reconvene in Munich to drink, vomit, piss and get naked – usually all at the same time. Based around a game where you have to do a shot of beer every minute with other rules thrown in, like you can only drink with your left hand and so on, anyone who breaks a rule gets punished. This involves drinking from a beer bong that has everyone’s leftover food in it – from sardines to spaghetti to gone-off meat. If you throw up, you may even be forced to drink that too. Your prize if you win? Sweet revenge on the judges… 18

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OTHER FESTIVALS TO HIT

SONAR BARCELONA, SPAIN, JUNE 18-20 Sonar prides itself on its selection of ‘advanced’ new music and hosts the most cutting-edge and forward-thinking artists out there, irrespective of their musical genre. The Chemical Brothers, Fat Freddy’s Drop and Evian Christ are among the acts to be announced so far. sonar.es/en LA BATALLA DEL VINO LA RIOJA, SPAIN, JUNE 29 Start early by heading to this wine festival in La Rioja (recognise the name?). Far from being a sophisticated affair, there’s no wine sniffing, swilling and sipping here; more like snorting, throwing and glugging. Crowds use buckets, water pistols and jet packs to soak each other with red vino, drinking plenty of it along the way. ››

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Beer it up at Oktoberfest

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Bilbao BBK Live

SPACESHIPS CAMPERVAN RENTALS has the following insider tips for renting a van: ›› Make

sure you budget for fuel. Renting a vehicle with great fuel efficiency will leave you with plenty of cash for fun stuff!

›› Have

more than one insured driver. Whilst you may have one person who wants to do most of the driving, it’s always good to have a backup.

›› All

rental companies should provide you with European insurance cover and a roadside emergency kit, which is compulsory in some European countries.

›› Take

a GPS with you, but don’t rely on it all the time. You’ll usually find the most interesting places when you’re lost! If you’re planning a one-way trip, say, Rome to Barcelona, it’s worth checking the price in the opposite direction – starting in Barcelona and going the other way – as it may be cheaper.

SUPER BOCK SUPER ROCK LISBON, PORTUGAL, JULY 17-19 As one of the longest-running festivals in Europe, this regularly attracts big names – one of which is the legendary Sting this year, joined by Florence and the Machine, Little Dragon, Kindness, Modernos and more. The beach-side back drop is an added bonus. Superbocksuperrock.pt BILBAO BBK LIVE BILBA, SPAIN, JULY 9-11 We’re even more excited about one of our favourite festivals this year, as not only is it celebrating its 10th anniversary, but Aussie bands The Cat Empire and Sheppard are performing. Always amazing at getting a crowd going, Mumford and Sons, Muse, The Jesus and Mary Chain and Ben Harper will also be singing as the sun sinks behind the city and you watch from a blissful spot atop a mountain. With acts only playing in the evenings, you’ve got the days free to explore Bilbao and its beaches. Definitely worth a stopover. bilbaobbklive.com/2015/en

››

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FIB BENICÀSSIM, SPAIN, JULY 16-19 Festival-goers love Beni, with its hot weather and even hotter tunes. Its line-up offers a nice mix of cool rock and quirky pop for those who prefer their music a bit more mainstream. fiberfib.com ››

Campervan hire UK and Europe Brand new campers, best fuel econmy, no hidden costs

Fom ÂŁ19 per day, Unlimited miles, Free European Insurance, Free extra driver, One-way deals. Check us out online today at www.spaceshipsrentals.co.uk

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TRY THIS ITINERARY FOR SIZE… As we said, there are four main meet-ups on this tour. In between that it’s up to you wherever the hell you go. Leave it to the roll of a dice for all we care. But if you are the plan-ahead type, here’s what we suggest… Head to Pamplona through France, getting the ferry to Calais, spending time in Paris and driving towards Bordeaux. This takes you into Spain, where you should stop by the cool San Sebastian and La Batalla del Vino festival before meeting everyone else at the running of the bulls in Pamplona. From here, join the convoy and head to Lisbon and Lagos, and then head back into Spain to Seville and then up to Madrid. From the capital go east to the coast and see Valencia and then up the coast to Barcelona, if you didn’t already hit this for Sonar festival. Keep up the coast (taking in Girona and Sant Quirze de Colera) and head into France, eventually reaching Marseille. This historic French city is great to explore and is steeped in history. If you’re more of a beach bum, we’d recommend those between La Pointe Rouge harbour and La Madrague. From Marseille, some would suggest going inland to put in a stop in Lyon, which has a network of

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underground passages – traboules – and a great clubbing scene. Alternatively you could head up the coast to Cannes (beaches) and Nice (more beaches) before crossing the border to Italy. Here, some head straight for Venice, but it’s a fair drag (about 350 miles), so you should probably stop off and where better than Milan, or maybe even Genoa, or both? You can also work in Florence and perhaps even Pisa if have the time and inclination. Once you’ve enjoyed Italy, cross into Austria and, when in Innsbruck, wander its medieval lanes and sip sundowners while admiring the surrounding Alps. It’s about 100 miles from Innsbruck to Munich, which is the last big festival stop, and you should arrive just in time for Oktoberfest. Once the hangovers pass, take time to explore Germany (we recommend driving to Cologne) before heading to Holland and taking on Amsterdam. You could head back to the UK from there but why not go down to Belgium (via Rotterdam), see Antwerp or Bruges. Then make the short journey to Calais and jump on the ferry home again. Epic, right? Vantoureurope.com

CELEBINTERVIEW

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Mark Wright is Australian. I know this because 1. He’s from Australia. 2. He’s got the accent, and 3. He wears his heritage like a badge of honour. “I’ve turned down every interview apart from SBS and TNT because I only talk to Australian media. It’s my policy; I look after the Aussies – don’t forget where you come from,” he says with a cheeky grin as he settles down for our interview in a coffee shop in central London. And this is just the start. He proudly states that his Aussie traits are the reason for his success, and why he won this year’s Apprentice. And it’s hard to disagree with him. So much so, I’m left wondering why Australians are yet to take over the world. And what the hell I’ve been doing for the last couple of years. Indeed, Wright’s story – the start of it at least – will sound mighty familiar to many Antipodean expats. “I worked really 24

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CELEBINTERVIEW

Mr Wright ‘I’m not the Mark Wright from TOWIE, I’m the one from Australia.’ And now, he’s the one from The Apprentice...

Interview supplied xxx. Images: xxxx

WORDS: CAROLINE GARNAR

hard back home in Armidale for two years, and then I just smashed the money on travelling. I went with my brother, and we travelled all around Europe, America, Asia – I did a world ticket and travelled for two years. I was actually a tour leader with the Fanatics… it was not the road best taken in terms of business,” he laughs, “because you earnt no money and all I did was party all the time; but I learnt a lot, and it was an amazing experience.” It was London, though, that impressed him the most. “This was the best place – London was amazing. You could almost smell the opportunity for young people. Australia is great in terms of it has a more relaxed lifestyle, but it has nowhere near the opportunities for business, and I’ve always been a budding businessperson. It was a no brainer, so I came back to look for work.” It was 2010, and London was still suffering from the effects

of the recession. But in spite of this – or perhaps because of it – Wright landed himself a job and a flat within two days of arriving. “In hard times, people have to take a gamble, and I was a gamble,” theorises Wright. Again, though, he also thanks his Aussie roots for landing his first job. “I was living in a hostel in Victoria and all I had was two pairs of board shorts and a singlet. I went to Marks and Spencer, put a pair of slacks and a shirt on, and I went straight out and door-knocked all of the businesses along the highstreet. Because I’m from a country town, that’s what I used to do – just take my résumé into places; now I know how ridiculous that was, but it worked! “I knocked a company called Reach Local, which was an internet marketing company, and their minimum spec was that you had to have a tertiary qualification, you had to have a degree, you had to be over 26 and you had to have TNTMAGAZINE.COM

CELEBINTERVIEW

Mark worked as a tour leader with Fanatics a car and a driver’s licence. I met none of the criteria.” The boss liked his ambition, though, and took a chance on him. There were also some Aussies working there who had a room going, so that was that. Easy, eh? Those of you who watched The Apprentice will know that Wright’s business plan was to set up his own internet marketing company, Climb Online (climb-online.co.uk); so it looks like that first London job he happened to get worked out pretty well for him. The secret of his success? Being an Aussie of course… “When I first started and I was cold calling I used to say ‘G’day, this is Mark Wright, I’m not the guy from The Only Way is Essex, I’m the guy from Australia’ and people would start laughing and they would listen to me – I used to get more meetings sorted than any other rep.” He also eschewed the Brits’ penchant for hierarchy (“they have this thing about rank – I don’t know if it’s because of the Queen or what”), instead knocking on the big boss’s door if he had a problem. And he treated Lord Sugar the same. “With Australians, it doesn’t matter if you’re a Lord or you’re the guy with 10 cents on the street, we treat everyone the same, and I think that’s got me a long way. I think Alan Sugar saw in me someone very different to anyone else who had been on the show.” He also accredits his survival in The Apprentice house to his experiences travelling and as an expat. “When I first came over I lived in a house with nine Australians – in a place that had a lot less than nine bedrooms! I think that living in hostels, travelling, working for Fanatics and living in a house share put me in better stead than the other contestants when it came to living in The Apprentice house. I was getting good sleep because I’m used to noise – I’ve been to Oktoberfest where there are 35 people sharing a room, so sharing a room with four people was nothing to me. The others really struggled, so I was at an advantage with that.” So with a loud and proud Aussie winning a UK show, what do the Brits think about it? “Initially there was all the talk of us coming over and stealing all the jobs, but at the end of the day it’s a competition for the best person to win. 26

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That could have been anyone. I guess when the English and Australians think about one another, we always think about rivalry in sport. Now the fact that I have gone on to win one of their biggest TV shows, it’s kind of like a sporting rivalry – they’re like ‘Darn! They’re beating us at the cricket at the moment, they’re beating us at The Apprentice – they’re everywhere,” he laughs. But Aussies aren’t everywhere. Not anymore. So we ask him how he feels about Lord Mayor Boris Johnson’s campaign to make it easier for Antipodeans to live and work in the UK. “Yeah it should be much easier,” he agrees. “The Brits have got problems with people migrating in who are eligible on the EU agreement, so what they’re doing is they’re stopping the people they can stop – which is Canadians, Americans, Kiwis and Australians – and I think it should be the other way around. Honestly, because all the Australians I know who come here are really hungry for the opportunity. They work hard, they pay their taxes and they don’t abuse the system. So the more Aussies and Kiwis you can have over here, the better.” Wright is over here on a five-year ancestry visa (his Nan was born in Manchester), and he’s fairly confident that he’ll land citizenship once his time is up – “I own two companies in the UK and my business partner is Lord Sugar, so that helps,” he smiles – but what’s his advice for Antipodeans struggling to find sponsorship to stay here? “A lot of the recruitment companies I’ve worked with actually have a policy to hire Australians, and they will provide them with working visas. You’ve just got to ask the question. Nine times out of 10 the company will sponsor you. I know my company will sponsor Australian people.” Talking of his company, how’s it going? “Winning The Apprentice was the easy bit. Running a business at the level that Lord Sugar wants is huge. He wants an international, multi-million pound company, which I’ve worked in but I’ve never run before. Alan Sugar wants big stuff, so the pressure’s on.” It’s not like Wright’s afraid of hard work, though. “I’ve given up the last three years of my life to work. I’ve lived in London and I haven’t seen any nightclubs. I haven’t done all these bits and pieces that other people do.” Although he was given some time off straight after winning The Apprentice. Well, we say time off…. “I went back to Australia for two months. I worked for my dad, washing cars for him. He said to me, ‘You’re never too important to come back into the family business.’ No one cares who I am there. Here I get asked for photos and autographs about 30 times a day, and in Armidale I’m being told to wash cars,” he laughs. And how’s he enjoying that fame? Will we see his face on the next Celebrity Big Brother? “Big Brother could offer me all the tea in China and I would laugh at them. I like to do things that help people in business or help my industry, not things that help Mark Wright become famous and get hot girls to ask for photos. I don’t think that’s the right route.” So what does the future hold for Mark Wright? “The next three years are still going to be really tough – it’s seven days a week, 24 hours a day at the minute, but it’s paying dividends. I’m a 25-year-old kid from Armidale in New South Wales and my business partner is a billionaire. Not many people can boast that.”

home to home

Your weird summer sorted The European festival calendar is packed, so this year why not celebrate the sunny months in the strangest way possible? Words: Grant Mills

Beltane, Scotland 28

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Every year, thousands of travellers swarm to famous events such as Spain’s Running of the Bulls and La Tomatina, looking for the ultimate festival thrill. Whether it’s placing your behind in front of charging bovine or receiving a flying fruit concussion, we all have an appetite for occasionally doing something bonkers. And in Europe’s melting pot of cultures it’s not just the Spanish that have had plenty of practice turning ‘bonkers’ into games that we can all play. Indeed, being ridiculous is a universal language. So this year, don’t be a part of the mass migration; get off the tourist trail as TNT takes a tour through summer’s strangest festivals.

Beltane

LAS FALLAS

There’s no doubting it: no one parties like the Spanish. Valencia’s Las Fallas goes for almost an entire month, but it’s the last five days (March 15-19) that you want to be present for. This bubbling cauldron of a festival encompasses the entire city, turning one of Spain’s most energetic towns into a huge open-air art gallery that is powered by music and explosives. As the 24-hour party builds to its ultimate crescendo, you’ll be able to wander in the shadows of towering sculptures, encounter impromptu parties on almost every street corner and enjoy firework shows morning, noon and night. The festival’s finale, known as La Crema, puts the whole of Valencia at risk of immolation as almost 350 multistorey artworks are reduced to smoking cinders and toxic smoke. LIFE I LIVE FESTIVAL & KING’S DAY THE HAGUE & AMSTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS When APRIL 26 & 27 Survival Kit Energy drinks; orange… lots of orange

The Dutch know how to squeeze a lot into a little space, which means on big

Las Fallas weekends you can party-hop across the whole country. In 2015, despite falling on a Sunday/Monday, one of the biggest ‘weekends’ on the Dutch calendar offers back-to-back parties starting in The Hague and ending in Amsterdam’s infamous Red Light District. Start down south at the free Life I Live music festival, which spreads multiple stages through the ancient cobbled streets of The Hague. Serving up indie, rock, blues & roots, funky vibes and cheesy Euro dance classics, there’s guaranteed to be a corner of the city just right to warm you up for the following day’s revelry. April 27 is Koningsday, or King’s Day, an annual celebration of The Netherland’s royal family during which the whole country comes down with ‘orange madness’. Naturally the most epic party is reserved for Amsterdam. The people of the ’Dam open their doors and spill out into the streets dressed in the most Tango-esque shades of orange. Street-corner parties pump out the best of EU electronica, while the iconic canals are clogged with floating

Photos: Supplied

VALENCIA, SPAIN When MARCH 15- 19 Survival Kit: Earplugs; comfy shoes; huge party appetite.

Life I Live party boats packed with gyrating Dutch and firing confetti cannons into the air. For the dirtiest bump and grind that goes late into the night, head to the Red Light District. lifeilive.nl & iamsterdam.com BELTANE EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND When APRIL 30 Survival Kit: Waterproof utility kilt – now you’re ready for anything.

Fire and frenzy, lust and loincloths – if you step across the threshold into the rich faerie world of Scotland’s Beltane, expect to be swept away by this neopagan feast for the senses. As the sun sets over one of the world’s most striking cities, drums come to life atop Edinburgh’s windswept Calton Hill. For one night, this will be the scene of an epic tale of death and rebirth, played out by the forces of chaos and order. Marking the end of winter and the coming of summer, this carnal ›› performance is driven by a cast of TNTMAGAZINE.COM

SUMMERFESTIVALS

Festival of Wormcharming

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Water Bombing Championship

Cheese Rolling characters – mischievous sprites, virtuous faeries and even a fire-breathing dragon that guards the portal between worlds. Beltane is a night of dance, acrobatics, nudity and fire. It is magically engaging and wildly infectious. beltanefiresociety.wordpress.com BLACKAWTON INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF WORMCHARMING BLACKAWTON, ENGLAND When SUNDAY 3RD MAY Survival Kit: Fancy dress; animal magnetism

Said to have begun when a pub patron was relieving himself in a field, it seems fitting that Blackawton’s Festival of Wormcharming is devoted to two things – friendly lunacy and good local ale. While the man in question was answering his call of nature, he noticed that worms were coming to the surface in response to his rain. As the story goes, he raced back to challenge his pub mates and the noble sport of wormcharming was born! Thirty years later and the festival is 30

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decidedly more family-friendly, but the essence remains the same. Competitors are challenged to ‘charm’ as many worms as they can from a 1 x 1m area of lush Devon soil using any means they can think of, so long as it doesn’t harm the worms. Including ‘official cheats’, a local beer festival and a busy calendar of music, this tiny festival is big on heart and loud on laughs. Hot tip: Stay until the end and be a part of the hilarious charity auction! wormcharming.co.uk WORLD WATER BOMBING CHAMPIONSHIP SHEFFIELD, ENGLAND When MAY 6 Survival Kit: Costume (anything but a Morph suit, read on…)

In a world of ‘No splashing’ and ‘No waterbombing’, here’s your chance to not only put gravity to the test but to also take home a World Championship. Grab three mates, come up with a fabulous fancy dress theme, register your team and then raise money for

Macmillan Cancer Support in order to qualify. Competitors bomb off the three-metre diving board, judged on technique, personality and, of course, size of splash. Fancy dress is mandatory – the Spartans won in 2014, perhaps because they came equipped with a home-made chariot. Just don’t do as one team did and discover that once a Morph suit gets soaked, breathing through it becomes much like waterboarding yourself. facebook.com/pages/ World-Water-BombingChampionships/168012146649955 ESFIRO MAJORCA, SPAIN When MAY 11 Survival Kit: Earplugs; pirate costume – Sinbad, not Jack Sparrow

The Spanish love of explosions comes to a head at EsFiro, with many of the participants of this epic pirate festival coming armed with their own shotguns. In what might be the world’s only pirate invasion festival, the people of the

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SUMMERFESTIVALS

EsFiro

EsFiro Pirate Festival small town of Sóller on Majorca’s north coast annually re-enact the attack on the island by Algerian brigands in 1561. Over the course of a whole day the two armies – representing the local peasants and the brutal pirates – face off across numerous battlefields until the grand finale in Sóller’s main square. Expect explosions, hangings, cannonfire, swashbuckling sword fights and to be face-to-face with the action. EsFiro is chaotic and utterly unique. No other festival so completely captures the feeling of being smack-bang in the middle of a battle. And if you don’t want your eardrums popped like a fat guy’s top button on Christmas day, remember your earplugs. esfiro.cat COOPER’S HILL CHEESE ROLLING AND WAKE BROCKWORTH, ENGLAND When MAY 25 Survival Kit: Leave your fear at home.

The Cooper’s Hill Cheese Roll has long been famed around the world as an

innovative way to subject yourself to injury by racing down a precipitously steep hill in pursuit of a wheel of cheese. Yet there’s been some confusion over the festival’s existence in the last few years. In 2010 the event was officially cancelled due to rising health and safety concerns and ballooning numbers of attendees. Yet mention the cancellation to any of Brockworth’s inhabitants and you’ll be met – without fail – by the emphatic mantra: ‘The cheese will always roll’. And, indeed, even in the face of the cancellation the cheese has rolled every year since, unofficially organised by the locals. Though the police do not have the power to shut the event down, they do try hard to stop people from attending, including a parking exclusion zone of up to two and a half miles around the hill. But if you don’t mind hiking to a hill, then to the top of it only to throw yourself down it again, then make sure you witness this century-old cheesechasing tradition. cheese-rolling.co.uk

Il Gioco Del Ponte IL GIOCO DEL PONTE PISA, ITALY When JUNE 28 Survival Kit: Leave your fear at home.

Support whoever’s team you end up sitting with…this is war Il Gioco del Ponte, the Battle of the Bridge, is a 500-year-old tradition that even most Italians have never heard of. This is quite amazing given that it takes place in one of the world’s most famous towns: Pisa. Created in Medici times as a way to diffuse violent tendencies between Pisans on opposite sides of the River Arno, the result of Il Gioco del Ponte dictates the mood in Pisa for the whole of the following year. Teams from either side of the river compete against one another to push an enormous cart-contraption across the bridge and into the defending team’s area. This requires a bull-neck, enormous thighs and funny home-made shoes. The contest is accompanied by a stunning medieval parade complete with armoured knights, soldiers, TNTMAGAZINE.COM

SUMMERFESTIVALS

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Mud Olympics

Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling

World Body Painting Festival trumpeters and flag throwers. This is pomp and ceremony mixed with a healthy dose of sporting blood lust. Tickets can be purchased in the week prior, or on the day, from the Atrium of the Town Hall (Palazzo Gambacorti). facebook.com/pages/Amici-del-Giocodel-Ponte/423607097679194

classes, or get tickets for the festival main days to get lost among the stunningly bizarre creations from the world’s best body painters. Throw in wild parties, pumping music and you’ve got one of the most unique places in the world to get your freak on. bodypainting-festival.com

WORLD BODYPAINTING FESTIVAL

WATTOLÜMPIDE (MUD OLYMPICS)

PÖRTSCHACH AM WÖRTHERSEE, AUSTRIA When JULY 3-5 Survival Kit: Rubber and leather; leave your prudishness at home.

BRUNSBÜTTEL, GERMANY When JULY 11 Survival Kit: Be able to throw, catch, dance, and drink.

On the banks of Lake Wörth, looking over at the imposing mountains that separate Southern Austria from Italy beyond, nestles the hamlet of Pörtschach am Wörthersee. Every year this quaint little town gets a dramatic makeover as it becomes the home of the World Bodypainting Festival. Topless women wander the town – sipping coffee and sucking on cigarettes – dressed only in paint. Men with real-looking head-wounds sit at the pub knocking back beers. For budding body artists, check out the World Bodypainting Academy for 32

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Mixing amateur sport, fancy dress and thick, knee-deep, sucking mud, the Mud Olympics calls out to a carnal, not-sosecret corner of our brains. Give someone the chance to become a sporting hero by taking a spectacular dive catch and even the fastidious Germans will dive face-first into the muck. Played out on the tidal mud flats of the River Elbe in far northern Germany, teams seek muddy glory in football, handball and volleyball events. You can also be a part of the World Record attempt for the ‘most people doing mud angels’. The Mud Olympics is every big kid’s dream; it’s fun, it’s irreverent and it’s

essentially one big mud fight. It retains the familiarity and friendliness of a local festival unspoilt by huge tourist crowds. wattoluempia.de MOUNTAIN BIKE BOG SNORKELLING LLANWRTYD WELLS, WALES When AUGUST 29-30 Survival Kit: A Wales-proof change of clothes; money for a cheeky pint after you crawl out of the ditch.

Jump onto a bike and compete in this underwater time-trial submerged in freezing Welsh bog water. Just ignore the water scorpions and the chattering of your teeth for a shot at taking out a World Championship. Held alongside the albeit more famous World Bog Snorkelling Championship, the Mountain Bike event not only pits you against the other competitors but puts you at odds with conventional physics as well. Thumb your nose at naysayers and ride a bike underwater! Registrations for all the bog events close seven days prior, but if places are still available then registrations are welcomed on the day. green-events.co.uk

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Francesca Haig

Dividing her time between the UK and her Aussie homeland, celebrated poet Francesca Haig has put pen to paper for her first novel and created a new world of her own – though not one we’d likely choose to live in. INTERVIEW CAMILLA DAVIES Francesca Haig’s debut novel, The Fire Sermon, drummed up massive buzz even before publication. Touted as the next Hunger Games, DreamWorks have already snapped up the movie rights – something which Haig calls, “frankly, a bit surreal”. The novel in question is the first of a trilogy in which, 400 years from now, Earth has returned to a primitive form following some sort of nuclear destruction. Now, every human birth results in twins: of each pair, one is Alpha, and physically perfect; the other Omega, is born with a mutation and cast outside of the Alpha community. Alphas and Omegas live separately, in the ever-binding knowledge that when one twin dies, the other cannot survive. Haig explains that actually, fantasy fiction is not her main genre as a reader. “I wasn’t thinking about genre at all when I wrote it, I just thought of a story about twins who share the fatal bond – where one twin dies the other dies – and everything else just grew organically out of that.” Although the novel has aspects of sci-fi fantasy, Haig says, “It’s probably

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England and Australia, working as a lecturer in Chester and now living in London, she’s always “a bit torn” when there’s a sporting fixture. “I have slightly mixed loyalties. But, without wanting to sound like a Qantas ad, I would still call Australia home.” Look closely, and aspects of Down Under may jump out between the lines of Haig’s debut novel. “Australians will definitely catch pieces of Australian landscape there; the location is not tied to any specific place – I’ve cannibalised locations from all over my experience and also my imagination – but there are certainly hints, particularly of the Tasmanian coastal landscape in parts of the book.” Haig remarks that lots of authors hail from the island state. “Tasmania really punches above its weight when it comes to novelists and poets – The Flanagans, Margaret Scott – there are so many wonderful writers who have come out of Tasmania and I’m sure part of that is how the landscape gets under your skin.” Having lived and taught in England, Haig finds humour in British interpretations of Oz. “People always think Tasmania is this tiny little island because they see it on the map next to the huge scale of the Australian mainland, and when I point out Tasmania is actually two thirds the size of England it just blows their minds! “Also, whenever anything happens in Australia I get very sweet concerned messages from English friends. There’ll be a fire in Perth and I’ll have worried calls about my relatives in Tasmania. The scale of Australia just doesn’t quite compute to European mind-sets.” But, with her first novel snapped up by DreamWorks and another two to complete, it seems Haig’s fiction will soon be a talking point on both sides of the world. The Fire Sermon is out now, published by Harper Voyager

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much closer to a kind of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road ‘post-apocalyptic’ than it is to any kind of high fantasy – there are no dragons, no buxom wenches in leather brassieres. It’s a much more stark and realistic kind of novel, I think, than any other kind of high fantasy that’s certainly in vogue at the moment.” Like most organic things in life, Haig’s writing process wasn’t fast. In fact, the seeds of her novel had been swirling around Haig’s head for “literally years and years”. “I had the idea more than a decade ago and it was just ticking away at the back of my mind. I started writing it in a very slapdash way – I would go on holiday and maybe bang out 10,000 words, and then I would go back to work and literally not look at it for six months at a time. So for about three or four years I was writing it in a very dilettantish, unfocused way, and then for about a year at the end I suddenly thought, ‘hang on, maybe there is actually a serious project here’, and so I applied myself to it much more seriously,” says Haig. The London-based writer was able to scribe her tome across continents thanks to having an English dad and an Australian mum – “I grew up in Tasmania, my parents still live there so we go back and see them from time to time.” Haig hasn’t lost her love for her homeland, saying, “If my husband’s work would permit, I would move to the Tasman Peninsular at the drop of a hat” – though she’s settled in “fabulous” Melbourne too. “I did my undergrad and my PHD in Melbourne and lived very happily there for eight years. I still have relatives there and that’s where my husband’s family is from, so we go back every few years; every year if we can manage it, but now we have a baby son, of course the flight is a complete nightmare!” Having divided her time between

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SPORTFOCUS

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Closing the gap Mercedes were in a league of their own in 2014 with Lewis Hamilton coming out on top of a two-car contest for the title. But the pack is catching, says former F1 driver Anthony Davidson

Photo: TOSHIFUMI KITAMURA/AFP/Getty Images

WORDS: MICHAEL GADD

Podium finish: (from left) Daniel Ricciardo finished third in 2014 to Mercedes’ Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg After no shortage of drama, Lewis Hamilton topped teammate Nico Rosberg for the 2014 Formula One driver’s championship at the season finale in Abu Dhabi. And despite attempts to derail each other’s campaigns on and off the track, their individual successes combined won Mercedes the constructor’s equivalent in a doddle. Between them, Hamilton and Rosberg won all but one pole position and went on to win 16 of the 19 races. It’s safe to say they best handled the biggest shake-up in F1 history, the move from 2.4L V8s to a 1.6L V6 hybrids. But close behind them, even without Mercedes’ mother of all power units, came Daniel Ricciardo with the season’s other three wins. And Sky Sports pundit Anthony Davidson, a former F1 driver himself and the reigning World Endurance Championship winner, believes the Aussie has the mettle to build on his impressive Red Bull debut after his promotion from Toro Rosso. “Daniel Ricciardo surprised so many people last year,” says Davidson of the driver who outperformed the previous four season’s champion Sebastian Vettel after replacing compatriot Mark Webber at Red Bull. “He really is the complete package I feel. If the team can 36

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deliver him a car that is capable of race victories, he will be right there to take them.” With a year in the bank at Red Bull and with the team constantly improving their Renault power unit, 2015 could be even better for the 25-year-old from Perth. “Last year there really was a big gap in terms of the power unit, not the car,” says Davidson. “[Red Bull’s] car was quite good, and they were coming off the back of winning four world championships in a row so they clearly know a thing or two about car design. “With the change in regulations the big difference was the power unit and Renault just didn’t have the right one. If they’ve got on top of that, I’m sure they’ll be mixing it right at the front. “Even without the power unit being right last year they managed to salvage race wins with Ricciardo at the wheel. It’s very much poised for him to take many more race wins if they get the equipment right.” While Ricciardo’s building on his success, he’ll have a new team-mate in the neighbouring garage in Russian Daniil Kvyat when the first green lights of the season flash in Melbourne for the Australian Grand Prix on March 15.

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Kvyat makes the same move as Ricciardo did last year from Toro Rosso and replaces Vettel after the German’s bold switch to link up with Finland’s Kimi Raikkonen at Ferrari. If Ricciardo is the driver to watch, early testing has shown that with Seb and ice cool Kimi – both former world champions – at their wheels, Ferrari is the dark stallion. “The real surprise so far this season has been Ferrari,” says Davidson. “It’ll be interesting to see how they get along in a challenge for race victories. Vettel chose the team at the right time too and join Kimi, even if they have a long way to go. “They’re good friends off the track as well, and they’re both world champions in their own right. “Both of them should be pumped up for a potentially good season.” In another big move, Fernando Alonso joins Britain’s Jenson Button at McLaren as the team comes to grips with a switch from Mercedes-Benz after 20 years to Honda, a return to F1 for the Japanese manufacturing giant. Could Button, who’s endured frustration since winning the title in 2009, crack a smile with the new set-up? “He’s got a difficult year ahead of him,’ says Davidson. “Honda will be going through a learning process like everyone did last year and nothing substitutes track time – they have a big learning curve ahead of them, but at the same time they have no pressure necessarily to perform.” But as things change they look set to stay the same in many ways. For all the big name changes at their rivals, it is Mercedes that is still setting a hot pace, and with a substantial buffer. “The safest bet is on Mercedes,” admits Davidson. “After such a dominant season last year everyone expects them to be at the front... whether they’ll have the same advantage is yet to be seen. “It’s a bit of a mountain to climb for the other teams. And [Mercedes] seem to have the better reliability now they’ve shifted their focus to that knowing their car has inherent speed.” And riding high on confidence after his victory last year, Hamilton is in pole position to go back-to-back. “I got it right last year and said Lewis was going to win the championship and I think I’ll be boring and say the same thing again,” says Davidson. “I’ll be surprised if anyone can topple Mercedes and Lewis will be hard to beat. “Ricciardo will be second and Vettel will be third, that’s my top three.” Although Rosberg may have something to say about that. Gentleman, start your engines. Sky Sports F1 is the only place fans can watch all 20 Grand Prix weekends live across TV, Sky Go and NOW TV

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Photo: © Red Bull Media House

SPORTFOCUS

AUSTRALIA DAY AT INFERNOS It might seem like foreverago now, but we are still getting flashbacks to the drunken debauchery at TNT’s Australia Day Party on January 25. Proceedings kicked off, literally, with inflatable kangaroo boxing, and then live music from the brilliant Bondi Beach Bums filled the dance floor. From 5pm ’til close, the DJ played party classics, of course throwing in ‘Your the Voice’ and ‘Men at Work’. Meanwhile, upstairs you could re-live 2014 through last year’s Triple J playlist (the new one wasn’t released until 1am UK time, dammit!). Our favourite bits? A couple of friendly partygoers letting people in for free in return for a kiss (it was free to get in anyway), the yummy stomach liners from New Zealand Gourmet Pies, and the fancy dress efforts: the banana, shark attack victims and pots of Vegemite deserve a shout. Photos by: Simona Dalla Valle

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SUMMER DAYS... Believe it or not, this sunny scene is in Manchester. Yes, from time to time England does manage to scrape together what resembles a summer, and when it does, its festival are the best. One such festival is Parklife, held in Manchester’s Heaton Park. Acts announced so far include Disclosure, Rudimental, Ben Howard, George Ezra and Mark Ronson. Tickets went on sale last month, £54.50 for a day ticket, or £89.50 for the weekend. parklife.uk.com

TRAVELNEWS

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SMILE PLEASE! LOST CAMERA’S OWNER TRACED A snap-happy British backpacker has been reunited via social media with the camera he lost while kayaking off the coast of east Australia six months ago.

London lawyer Chris Hesford’s trusty GoPro camera had met with a watery end after its sixmonth dip in the briny – but the real bonus for the 22-year-old was that hundreds of priceless photographs from his oncein-a-lifetime world trip had survived intact on

the memory card. The waterlogged camera was found by Gold Coast local Steve Carmody in a riverbed at Fingal Head, around 60km from where Chris saw it plunge into Byron Bay in September. Steve posted a message on Facebook saying: “If we can track down this bloke, I have

32GB of precious memories to be returned.” After two weeks, 8,000 Facebook shares and Australian TV coverage, Chris’s picture was spotted by friends, meaning the precious images could be returned to their delighted owner 12,000 miles away. “I’m still in shock,” Chris

told ABC Gold Coast. “It took me a few hours to really comprehend that that was my face up there on the other side of the world.” Describing the loss of the camera, he said: “We were just trying to ride this surf into the shoreline and the waves were obviously too big for my skills in a kayak and I just completely bailed. The force of the water just ripped the camera off my head. I thought it was gone forever, that it was just washed away into the sea.” Camera rescuer, samaritan Steve said: “It’s very cool. It just goes to show the power of social media.” Chris has promised to buy Steve a pint should he ever happen to be down London way. Meanwhile that memory card will soon be winging its way back to Blighty. Let’s just pray it doesn’t get lost in the post...

Gandalf pushes for Middle-earth theme park After the huge successes the Tolkien screen adaptations have had on New Zealand’s tourism industry, it makes sense to immortalise the experience to secure tourists for decades to come… Right? Most of the cast seem to think so, and the idea has us all squirmy with excitement. “Of course the next development I hope is that Peter’s going to devise, not more films, but a situation that you can all go to that is as much theatrical as cinematic,” McKellen told reporters. “A living museum where you will actually have the experience – as you sometimes do in the greatest exhibitions of that sort in Hollywood – to go

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into that and be there.” Peter Jackson insisted that a holiday was in order before any further projects ensued. The latest Hobbit film marks the end of Jackson’s creative endeavours in Middle-earth – cinematically at least. “They come to Hobbiton in their droves so I’m sure there are enough fans of the films that would come to see a Hobbit theme park or a Lord of the Rings theme park,” Martin Freeman, AKA Bilbo Baggins, said. “I loved New Zealand and I loved working and living there. Some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen were there.” We think it’s a great idea and if it happens we will be the first in line at Gandalf’s Gondolas, or something hopefully better than that...

Photos: supplied and iStock. Words: Rory Platt & Trevor Burton

As if Hobbiton wasn’t enough, Ian McKellan has given Peter Jackson a prod to create a Middle-earth theme park.

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QUEENSLAND ROCKED BY THIRD-LARGEST EARTHQUAKE IN STATE’S HISTORY

Photo: iStock. Words: Trevor Burton

Queensland escaped mercifully unscathed after the state’s third-largest earthquake since records began caused tremors that were felt in Brisbane. whole house shook – it just felt like the washing machine was off-balance,” said Dorothy, from Mundubbera, just south of Eidsvold. “It shook us and woke us up.” Geoscience Australia seismologist Hugh Glanville said the earthquake – which was scaled back to magnitude 5.1 after initially Brisbane felt tremors of Queensland quake being considered to be magnitude 5.2 – could have Houses shook, windows 430km to the south, as well been devastating had it rattled and loose objects as in Rockhampton, 320km to struck in a less remote area. fell over as residents in the the north, and Toowoomba, “Magnitude 5 earthquakes small town of Eidsvold were around 328km to the southare generally damaging woken in their beds by the west. An aftershock with earthquakes if the epicentre 5.1 magnitude earthquake at magnitude 2.9 hit the same is below a city or town,” he 1.57am on Monday morning, site about an hour later. ABC. “This one had a TNT_london_Half_Page Callers 19/02/2015 09:12told Page 1 February 16. to ABC radio 15km radius and could’ve The tremors were felt in the described their experiences been very damaging.” state capital Brisbane, about as the quake struck. “The Seismologist Andrea

Thom, also from Geoscience Australia, told the Brisbane Times that it was the third earthquake stronger than magnitude 5 ever recorded in Queensland. The last was a 5.5 magnitude quake which struck about 45km south of today’s epicentre in 1935. Before that, the most recent Queensland earthquake stronger than magnitude 5 took place way back in 1883. Australia experiences 300-400 earthquakes a year, but typically only one or two exceed magnitude 5. Thirteen people were killed and 160 injured when a magnitude 5.6 earthquake devastated Newcastle, in neighbouring New South Wales, in 1989.

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TOPFIVE

WATER PARKS

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TOP 5

Words: Caroline Garnar. Photos: iStock and supplied

WATER PARKS

Photo: © AREA 47

Climbing wall at Area 47

44 00

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If you caught our top five theme parks last month, you’d know that we love a good ride. Ahem. Which is why we’ve decided to make this into a double whammy and now look at our favourite water parks. You would think that adding water, skimpy swimwear and a serious lack of safety harnesses to proceedings would hinder the fear factor somewhat, as the rides would have to be a lot tamer so that people wouldn’t, y’know, die. Sure, there are no loop-the-loops in a water park (yet), but what they lack in upside-down adventures, they make up for with sheer, terrifying drops. And a lot of those smaller bumps that still make your stomach go. Part of the fun is desperately trying to keep your dignity covered while the water does its best to fight your swimmers off as well as spray you directly in the face, causing that delightful if-a-squashed-tomato-hada-face look. It’s the perfect place to spend the day when you’re holidaying in a hot country, so grab a rubber (ring, that is) and get ready to scream.

AQUAVENTURE, DUBAI Found at a pink hotel themed around a sunken city, perched on the end of a giant palm, this place already sounds made up. But it’s in Dubai, so whatever you think sounds too ridiculous to be true, is probably real. Indeed, in Atlantis Dubai’s Aquaventure, the steepest slide plunges you through a tank full of sharks. Not that you’d notice, you’re going so fast. Other highlights include a slide where you can race your mate as your speeds are timed – also the perfect excuse to eat doughnuts as the heavier you are the better; and there’s a raft ride where you cling on for dear life as you shoot down a drop and up a near vertical wall, almost like a skateboard ramp. Our favourite thing about this park, though, is that the majority of the rides are connected by a lazy river (which also has rapid and wave sections), so you barely have to leave your rubber ring. For extra, you can also swim with dolphins, meet sea lions, check out the hotel’s aquarium – and even go diving in its main tank. atlantisthepalm.com/marine-water-park

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WATER PARKS

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AREA 47, AUSTRIA

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This is a waterpark with a difference, as it’s all set on a giant lake in the mountains of Austria. It’s like the waterpark nature intended. Of course, man has had a helping hand: there are epic slides, diving platforms, waterski jumps, blobbing (the giant inflatables you bounce off), zip lining and more. For those of you who prefer not to get wet (although we’re not sure why you’re reading this article), there is also an off-road area, where you can bump over a dirt track on a KTM bike or cross buggy. Want more action? You can stay in a teepee overnight and do it all again the next day. area47.at

Sunway Lagoon is a hybrid of a waterpark and a theme park. Divided up into areas, you can splash about in the Water Park, which includes a surf beach, a ‘5D’ film where you get soaked, toboggan race slides, and they’ve even managed to make the annoying vuvuzela fun, using its funnel shape for a raft ride. Dry off and head to the Amusement Park for classic rides, including a pirate ship which rotates 360°; the Wildlife Park to see animals from tigers to tortoises; the Extreme Park where you can bungee jump, zip-line and go kart; then finish off by getting chased by zombies at the Scream Park. sunwaylagoon.com

Photo: Wet ‘n Wild Orlando®

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WATERCUBE, BEIJNG

America is pretty damn good at theme parks, and its water parks are equally epic. Wet ’n Wild is arguably the pick of the bunch, and it’s great for a group of mates as it has more multi-person rides than any other water park. Well, playing with other people is arguably better than playing with yourself... Take your seat in a raft to drop into a funnel, whiz around in the dark, take a slippery trip through the 1970s, toboggan down a bumpy slope and more. Soloists can take a six-story plunge after the floor disappears from underneath your feet, spin down a ‘body coaster’, or drag race your mates. wetnwildorlando.com

Unfortunately, most water parks close during winter time to prevent shivering swimmers, and indoor water parks are generally noisy, smell of feet and make you feel like you want to drown someone or yourself (just us?). But Watercube in Beijing is a near-exception. It’s still noisy and it’s not quite the same without the sun on your back, but the neon jellyfish, icecube-style covering and so-good-they-could-be-outdoor rides lift it above the others. There’s a tornado raft ride, spin-anddrop bullet bowl, super-fast covered flumes, wave pool, lazy river and bubbling spa pools, plus there’s an entertainment stage for added noise. waterpark-watercube.com/english TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The alternative Wonders of the World With nearly 80% of young people reportedly unable to name the seven Natural Wonders of the World, Contiki has unveiled some alternatives. Contiki polled 2,000 people aged 18-35 years and found that the overwhelming majority – 79% – could not name the seven Natural Wonders of the World. If you’re a member of this clueless club, here they are: ›› Aurora (Northern and Southern Lights) ›› Harbour of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil ›› Grand Canyon, USA ›› Great Barrier Reef, Australia ›› Mount Everest, Nepal ›› Paricutin volcano, Mexico ›› Victoria Falls, Zambia and Zimbabwe It also found that 67% of 18-35s like to discover new places when they go on holiday and 37% of young travellers are looking for alternative destinations, suggesting that the traditional sites such as the seven wonders could soon be replaced with alternative experiences young travellers have placed more importance on. Contiki concluded from the survey that the following hot spots will be the mustvisit destinations this year:

Cinque Terre, Italy A world heritage site, this rugged stretch of the Italian Riviera doesn’t allow cars, so you’ll need to get out those walking shoes to explore.

Fraser Island, Australia This place is an absolute frenzy! Teeming with marine life, surfing and parties. A must for those looking for a high-octane adventure.

Photos: iStock

Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland A beautiful part of the Swiss Alps studded with quiet alpine villages and stunning landscapes. Friendly residents makes this a great place to live like a local.

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Harbour of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Halong Bay, Vietnam Amazing limestone island, rock formations and caves. The pace is slow here; just grab a junk boat and float about in paradise.

Rotorua, New Zealand Therapeutic hot mud pools and awesome geysers. One of the best places to camp in the world!

Santorini, Greece

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UKTRIP

Alice in Llandudno Erica Camus fell down a rabbit hole and found herself in Wales, celebrating the ultimate adventure penned 150 years ago...

A certain King once said, “Begin at the beginning,” so it is here that I embark on an adventure in a real-life wonderland; Alice Liddell’s wonderland in the Northern-Welsh coastal resort and seaside town, Llandudno, where Lewis Carroll, and his beloved and bonkers Alice, frequented. You see, this year, the Penguin Classic Alice in Wonderland celebrates 150 years since publication, and Llandudno is joining in the fun with a colourful cyber trail that traces Alice’s steps and culminates in a Mad Hatter’s tea party complete with ‘eat me’ cupcakes. I can’t resist. Being more than a little mad myself – I am a diagnosed schizophrenic – I have to join in and let myself be hypnotised by Llandudno’s vibrant pier and sprawling beach. You’d have to be half mad to dream me up today, as I start out on my adventure. Decked out in red and black stripy tights, a neon yellow apron, pigtails tied with liquorice laces, and with a white rabbit for company, I acquaint myself with Alice’s world. Have I gone mad? I’m afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usually are. Once more, I’ll try my best to begin at the beginning. Llandudno is set into quarters and we start in the Heart District, otherwise known as the Creative Quarter, just outside the library and tourist information office. Here my mad self and white rabbit can sign up for the Alice trail – under a tenner for the two of us. The helpful White Rabbit app can be downloaded for £2.99 at alicetowntrails. co.uk. It’s best used with the biggest screen you can carry for a couple of hours, and ear phones are essential. Once the app starts, Alice pops up on your screen and the virtual tour gets underway with audio and visuals like arrows and pointers set within each stop to guide you. The Creative Quarter is filled with art stores, quaint shops and cafes. They majestically prop red hearts on their shop fronts to let you know where you are, while paying homage to Alice’s Queen. 48

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››

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UKTRIP It’s quiet here with few people around. We greet each other with a head-nod on passing. At the end of the Queen of Hearts stretch, just opposite Llandudno station, a gaudy statue of Alice herself is erected some eight feet into the air. She looks a little tortured in the face having drunk the contents of the ‘drink me’ bottle. We move past the Mostyn Gallery and venture towards the beach, which even at this time of year catches a healthy dose of sun. There’s a lady doing yoga moves here. She bends and stretches beneath the commemorative Mad Hatter statue’s frozen pose on the promenade. Inhaling the sea breeze, we stop for a moment to look out across the expansive sandy beach framed by the promenade to the left and green hills of Snowdonia to the right. We continue. Round the side of the longest pier in Wales, through the Victorian colonnade, and up some meandering steps to the Happy Valley, or the Spades Quarter, which offers panoramic views of Llandudno bay. We’re told here is quite the hidden treasure and there are several stops (each a small wooden monument) including a table, chairs and guests for a tea party of your own. We finish our two-mile trail by walking down a second set of steps to the back of Happy Valley and down into the main drag – the Club’s Quarter, where you’ll find the bars, shops, restaurants and more hustle and bustle. The further you venture, the busier it becomes, boasting all the trimmings of a British high street. It’s the beach front opposite the pier entrance where we settle for food at St Tudno Hotel, where the Liddell family stayed in 1861 when the property was apartments. (Don’t believe us? The present owner has the census to prove it.) We have our very own Mad Hatter’s tea party here and I eat so many cupcakes I feel like my head could pop out the hotel’s roof and my fingers could break through the windows, just like what happens to Alice. What can I do about it? I keep eating more to try to reverse the effects and go back to my original size. But it doesn’t work and my companion can almost roll me back to the hotel. After a full feeding and feeling peculiar, I decide to take my cue from Lewis Carroll and stay at the St George’s, a four-star Victorian hotel famed for its seafood, sea views and central location close to the promenade. In 1862 Dean Liddell, his family and their maids – a party of 12 – stayed at St George’s for the summer while overseeing the building of the family’s holiday home called ‘Penmorfa’. Dean’s daughter Alice was then aged eight, and it’s thought that Carroll wrote part of Alice in Wonderland here. While staying, I take seafood under a canopy of stars, which highlight the beach and sea with a twinkle. Later, the king-sized beds and fluffy pillows herald another adventure altogether (in “dreamworld”, of course. What did you think I meant?). Adventures in adventures, tales in trails and dreams in dreams. They’re all part of Alice’s magic that has been woven into the coast of Llandudno this year. I’m pleased with the memories and fun it’s brought me, but loathed to leave this magical place. Then I’m reminded what the King in Alice in Wonderland said so gravely. “Go on ’till you come to the end. Then stop.”

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THE DETAILS

Llandudno MAD HATTER’S TEA PARTY Prices for Alice in Wonderland’s tea start at £10 for a choice of sandwiches, Queen of Hearts shortbread, ‘Eat me’ cupcakes and English breakfast tea. North Parade, Llandudno st-tudno.co.uk ST GEORGE’S HOTEL Prices start at a special rate of £44 for a booking of three night’s minimum stay or £95 a night for a single room. St George’s Place, Llandudno stgeorgeswales.co.uk HOW TO GET THERE Travel by National Rail to Llandudno Rail Station, which is set in the centre of the action in the Heart quarter with hotels, bars and the bay all accessible by foot. Bear in mind the station shuts on Sundays.

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TRAVELBITE

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My experience: turtle conservation in Crete Looking for a unique way to spend his summer, Calum Hill signed up to help with turtle conservation in Greece. Here, he shares his experience...

It came from nowhere, almost. My second year of university was coming to an end and summer wouldn’t be far behind. I’d seen many of my friends travelling to what sounded like exciting parts of the globe and all I’d been doing was studying. I needed to do something! I hadn’t planned a solo adventure like this before...where do I start? I checked out some volunteering books in my local library and soon found a page on Archelon, the Sea Turtle Protection Society of Greece. This caught my attention as my brother had volunteered for them in the past and it had been a great experience for him. Pretty quickly I had made my decision. I mean, how often do you get the opportunity to save turtles, live the life of a traveller and gain some great life skills? I sent my application off. In an immediate reply I received an acceptance email containing the information for my stay; I would be working in Rethymno on the northern coast of the island of Crete. Done. My first pointer towards the Archelon campsite was the vision of a yellow Citroen Berlingo tagged with turtles, and the Greek for Archelon spotted through a gap in the bambooconstructed tent shades. After this,

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the campsite slowly emerged into my vision: many dusty tents were scattered over a dry plain surrounded by olive trees and washing lines and enlivened by the chirping of busy cicadas. The campsite was riddled with typically iconic signs of travellers: hammocks, a dusty cooker, rusty bikes and cheap food cradled in plastic shopping baskets. So I had arrived. I was the only man out of nine volunteers…not bad for a first-time stay. I received a hearty welcome and was introduced to the camp with open arms; it took less than a night supplemented with cold Mythos to settle in. Throughout my experience I was gradually introduced to the day-to-day jobs; firstly ‘morning surveys’... The beach we worked on in Rethymno was around 11km long. Markers were set up across the whole beach by some volunteers a couple of years before, to make it easier to observe. Catching the sunrise as early as 4am suddenly became my favourite thing – the cool breeze and the sun slowly emerging from behind the sea was the best. Each sector would usually be observed by two people, so it was a great way to interact with fellow volunteers. As the days passed the routine sank in – it didn’t take long to adjust to

turtle life. I knew how to track turtle marks, dig for nests and take down co-ordinates; well, to an extent – many of the long-time leaders still had many tricks up their sleeves. There was always more to learn. Unfortunately the island of Crete – mainly Rethmyno – is highly populated with tourists, opening up a whole new can of worms for the volunteers. As tourism goes, it has often shied away from the green way of life, creating a major disadvantage for the turtles. Another side of conservation was therefore added to the work timetable, which turned out to be the most important aspect of our job. We produced slide shows to many of the surrounding hotels – which were mainly populated by Russian, French, Dutch and German tourists – meaning I was safe as an English speaker… right? Definitely not! However it didn’t take long to adjust to a slow, more understandable way of speaking, as opposed to my usual, sometimes rushed communication. When applying for Archelon I’d pictured myself seeing many turtles, however I was completely wrong; I didn’t see a living turtle until my final two weeks. The first was during a release outside a local hotel. Many tourists gathered and it was great to witness, however it felt like something I could’ve seen as, well, a tourist. The second was during a night survey: red torches, dark clothes and repetitively long walks up and down the beach. It took four hours, from midnight to 4am, to search one sector of the beach to hopefully find a turtle laying eggs. I was in a team of three, we were nearing the end of our survey after discussing star signs, complaining about walking, feeling tired, and discussing why Germans call the saucepan star constellation a wagon, when suddenly what looked like a large rock escaping the sea began to emerge from the waves. A turtle came out seconds before we finished, it dragged its heavy body through the sand with great power to find a good spot to lay its eggs. We watched without a word for around 40 minutes. It was a great way to top off a truly amazing experience. archelon.gr

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FESTIVALGUIDE

SAN FERMÍN

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WHEN? JULY 6-14, 2015

FESTIVAL GUIDE

SAN FERMÍN, PAMPLONA It’s 8am and the cobbled medieval streets throb with people. Some are fresh faced, determined. Others twisted from all-night binging. Everyone wears the same – white from head to toe, a red scarf and belt, and a terror-stricken face. A rocket suddenly screams and explodes in the sky and the tension rises even further. We all know what that means. The bulls are coming and there’s no escape. This is how every morning begins at the San Fermín Festival, one of Europe’s wildest fiestas, held in the Basque region of northern Spain every year from July 6 to 14. After drinking, dancing and generally partying through the streets all day and all night, the morning's runners converge along the 875m course that runs through the city, from the Town Hall to the Bull Ring. When the crowds part and the skies fill with the flashes of the spectators' cameras (safely secured behind wooden barricades or hanging over balconies), you know the 15 or so bulls and bullocks are upon you. All that 00 54

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remains is to run like never before and to somehow control the overwhelming fear. If you reach the end, more horrors await. Make it into the Bull Ring before the gates are shut and you'll provide the entertainment for the packed crowd as the successful runners stay put on the sand, daring to touch the procession of angry young bulls that are regularly released into the ring. Held since the Middle Ages, it's a fiesta that is brutal and bloody – and not just on your liver. Since 1910, 15 runners have been killed, while the six fighting bulls that take part each morning always meet their end at that evening's bullfight. Indeed, animal rights activists condemn the running of the bulls, but for now it continues. There's plenty to do beyond the bulls, though. Since the 12th century, San Fermín has meant costumed processions, devotion to a Catholic martyr and red wine. Also be sure to take a few days to explore Navarre beyond the festival with quiet villages and bustling towns dotted around.

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THE TOURS

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

WHAT TO EXPECT

The festival of San Fermín may have caught the world’s attention with the running of the bulls and Ernest Hemingway’s 1926 novel The Sun Also Rises, but its core purpose is to celebrate the region’s patron – Saint Fermín. It’s thought Fermín was the son of a Pamplona bigwig in the third century when the area was under Roman control. A French bishop, San Saturnino, visited the region to spread Christianity and converted Fermín in the process. Fermín then became Pamplona’s first bishop, but later upset the pagan authorities in France, who decided to behead him. His mentor, San Saturnino, also met an untimely end. His method of execution, however, was to be dragged through the streets by a bull.

The revelry begins on the morning of July 7, when everyone crams into Plaza Consistorial. The excitement builds until midday, when a rocket, the ‘txupinazo’, is fired into the sky, and the square erupts with champagne. The following nine days are then a non-stop party. The bull runs take place at 8am, with the six bulls returning to face the matadors at 6.30pm each day. Other main events include the San Fermín procession, when thousands dance and parade through the streets behind a statue of the patron, and The Roar, when crowds gather at the Town Hall at midnight to make as much noise as they can. The fiesta is brought to a close at midnight on July 14 with a candle-lit ceremony in the square where it began.

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To feel truly involved in the San Fermín madness, it’s important to look the part. That means donning the festival uniform worn by the vast majority of people – white trousers and white T-shirt with a red scarf tied around your waist like a belt and a red handkerchief tied around your neck. Next is the obligatory Pamplona drink, Kalimotxo. Stock up with supermarket red wine and Cola for a few euros, then mix. (Good luck washing that stuff out of your whites.) And don't worry, you will be lining your stomach(ish), with caldico (clear broth) and churros (long doughnuts) dipped in chocolate. Runners should also invest in a newspaper, the local weapon of choice for discouraging overly inquisitive bulls.

After the fiesta... comes the calm. Literary fans wanting to discover Hemingway’s first travel love should head for a coffee at Café Iruña. The treasure-laden Museo de Navarra is also worth a look. Outside of Pamplona, enjoy a deserved rest by relaxing in the green Pyrenees: stroll through the woods and swim in a crystal-clear river. Head south to meet the warm and friendly people of La Ribera, and enjoy the gastronomy of the Ebro valley. San Sebastian, with its sublime surf beaches and gourmet pintxo (tapas) scene, is just 80km away, while La Rioja wine region is also nearby. For more info on San Fermin and Navarre, visit turismo.navarra.es

Topdeck offers a variety of San Fermin tours. The cheapest options, which cost from £209*, are to join them in Pamplona for five days of festivities, staying in their campsite, or in a large dorm on the edge of a lake, enjoying free breakfasts and shuttles to the festivities. For £285* you can add another day to the above, as well as one-way coach transport from London to Pamplona, and a day trip to San Sebastian. £309* gets you a return coach trip, while £329* also includes the day trip to San Sebastian. For £355* you need to make your own way to San Fermin, but you stay in central, multishare apartments, while for £389* you are back in the tents in Pamplona, but head to San Sebastian to relax and surf for three days, staying in a central hostel. If you are yet to visit this part of the world, why not spread your trip over a few destinations with Topdeck's Madrid to Pamplona tour. Spend two days exploring the culture-rich streets of Madrid, three days chilling in San Sebastian, and head to Pamplona in time for the opening ceremony, and two full days of fiesta. From £629. *Prices start at amount quoted

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EUROPEANBREAK

Let’s get Rude! Shun expensive ski trips in favour of lively shared accommodation, powdery snow and buzzing après ski at Rude Lodge in Morzine WORDS: KATHERINE WEIR

The only thing that puts us off – or rather prohibits us completely – from taking a ski holiday is the cost. Add ski passes, equipment hire and ‘captive audience’ costs (where else are we going to go to eat? We’re on a mountain!) to the usual spend on accommodation and travel, and you’ve got yourself a serious bank breaker. This is where Morzine comes in. Compared to Meribel and Courchevel, lift passes, hotels, chalets and restaurants are all cheaper here, and yet it enjoys the same natural powder reserve – all only 50 miles from Geneva. This little Alpine town is lively and welcoming, packed with traditional French wooden chalets with slate roofs and stone foundations. It offers lots of character and Savoyard charm. Along with excellent skiing and snowboarding opportunities, it is also famed for some of the world’s best mountain biking terrain in the summer months.

The digs Rude Lodge opened in January 2015 and is located just three minutes from the centre of Morzine. I visited in February, and it was great to stay so close to them opening because there was an air of excitement about the lodge, with brand new rooms to sleep in and bar tables with barely a pint ring on them. Completely renovated, Rude Lodge is contemporary and homely, with leather sofas and fires to welcome you home from a hard day on the slopes. The main USP for the lodge is its pricing. In low season, prices start from as little as £28pp/pn with a choice of twin, bunk, four-bed and six-bed dorm rooms – all with en-suite. This is affordable skiing, meaning you and a friend (or special someone) could splash out on a twin room (prices from £51pp/pn), or you and five other mates could opt for a sixbed dorm room to rest your heads. Rude is fully catered for breakfast, après ski and evening meals, plus bands play most nights in their bar/lounge, from local talent to resident Ibiza DJs. There is also the exciting revival of one of Morzine’s oldest nightclubs that sits below the lodge, Paradis (see Nightlife for more on this).

Skiing To summarise in lots of numbers, Portes du Soleil, which Morzine lies within, has 285 slopes that consist of 32 black

runs (the scary ones), 100 red, 122 blue and 31 green. It has 196 mountain lifts, is 400km2 and has 90 slope-side restaurants. It is known as a ‘ski safari’ as you can click your bindings on at your chalet and go exploring from resort to resort, valley to valley and even country to country. It enjoys fantastic snowfall from mid-November to the end of April and sits either side of the French-Swiss border. I was a first-time skier and this trip filled me with as much fear as excitement. What if everyone else can ski? What if I fall off a ski lift? What if I break my leg? Lots of positive questions filling my head. As soon as I was measured and strapped into my skis – fitted by Doorstep Skis – it started to feel real, and by the time I had walked (moon-landing style) ›› to the free bus to Avoriaz I was a bag of nerves. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Evolution 2 provided the ski lessons and luckily I was not the only first-timer of the group. The patience of the instructors was amazing as we baby-stepped our way through all the basics – the most important being the ‘snowplough’. This move saved my bacon on quite a few occasions, enabling me to make a snowplough – or pizza shape – with my skis to come to a halt. It was like learning to walk again, but over a few lessons I started to enjoy it and even mastered turning. The one thing I did not master was the ski lift. My original fears were valid and came true. My first experience had me hitting the deck and having to lie there while the next ski lift went over me. After that, it became a prerequisite that I had to have someone hoist me up off the chair when the time was right. The views from the lift, though, were stunning. Unspoilt surroundings, snowbound forests and pistes that wind their way through snow meadows. If I hadn’t have been clinging on for dear life, it would have made several amazing photographs.

Where to eat While at the lodge, I got to have a taster night of their new menu. Wooden board after wooden board appeared from the kitchen filled with miniature tasty treats and, even as a vegetarian, I was not disappointed. If you’re also this way inclined I would recommend the baked sweet potato wedges with hot sauce, quesadillas with spinach, smoked chilli tomato 60

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relish and provolone, meat-free slider of falafel, pickled veg, labne and pomegranate molasses. There was also plenty on offer for the meat-lovers such as the ‘Rude wings’ with ranch dressing and chilli sauce, and the ‘Badass Asian lamb noodles’. Our group even tried some oysters, some for the first time, to amusing results. After a morning on the slopes, Changabangs is a good choice for some tasty lunchtime snacks. Located just at the entrance of Avoriaz (and conveniently the same end destination as your ski lesson), it offers a good selection of burgers, salads and snack foods to sustain you for the afternoon of ski/snowboard activities. The main event is the Mad Max burger, packed with meats and cheeses to tickle the taste buds. I had the veggie burger, which oddly had a fried egg thrown in there, which was surprisingly tasty. For an evening meal that samples some of the local delicacies, L’Etale offers the backdrop of an insanely steep ski slope coming into Morzine and is a perfect example of a traditional French Savoyard restaurant. As we were seated, our eyes gazed at other tables in hungry awe at the size of the portions of food. A word of advice: come hungry and prepared for a food coma. The signature dish is La Potance – meat tree. Yes, a tree of meat. Looking more like a medieval torture device, La Potance consisted of a swinging metal cylinder with several pieces of steak pierced onto it. It hung over a bowl of rice and was set alight so that the meaty juices fell onto it for flavouring. Tiny pots of sauce were dotted around the ‘tree’ for dipping purposes. I had a very tasty vegetarian pizza (that I could see being made from scratch out of the corner of my eye), about the size of my torso, plus my portion of chips could have fed several diners.

EUROPEANBREAK Nightlife As Morzine is becoming a true favourite of the Brits and Aussies, you will find that you are among your brethren in most of the bars, restaurants and clubs. There was talk of a bar up the hill in Morzine that was so remote, you had to ski or snowboard there. Apparently hot tubs, copious amounts of alcohol and a 7am finish awaited those who made it. After a day on the slopes, you really feel as though you’ve earned your après-ski celebrations. There’s also something rather nice about going on a night out with five layers on. It was -3 one night and the walk home was just as pleasant as the way out. That may have been the beer jacket though. At the Rude Lodge itself you find après-ski bands and singers, including a guy called Joel Erith who played a fantastic selection of covers that tapped into my early twenties. Moving downstairs to the newly re-opened Paradis club was like stepping into a time warp with a neon dance floor, stripper poles and red leopard print sofas. It was a snapshot of the ’80s and I loved it. Paradis is one of the oldest nightclubs in Morzine, and Rude’s revival of it has sent a buzz around the town. Locals are ready to re-live their youth and Rude has answered their prayers with a Retro Rentals night full of the old classics. They will also be showcasing lots of Ibiza talent over the ski season with names such as Jem Haynes, Andy Baxter and Dee Montero. Powder, partying and, er, pillows, all wrapped up in a wellpriced bow. Why stay at Rude Lodge? Well, it’d be rude not to. Room rates at Rude Lodge start from £28pp/pn in a shared room, or from £51pp/pn for a twin room in low season. Lift pass for Morzine-Avoriaz is £35 for five hours or £40 for a day pass. For more on Rude Lodge and Morzine, head to rudechalets.com

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TRAVELBITE

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7 AMAZING THINGS TO DO IN AFRICA Thinking of exploring the great continent of Africa? Make sure you add these to your to-do list. By Marc Crouch

Photos clockwise from top left: Ian Restall at en.wikipedia, iStock and KZN Shark Cage Diving.

Swimming to the edge of Victoria Falls Being the second largest continent on Earth, Africa is not short of incredible experiences for both locals and visitors to enjoy. Some are nice and relaxing, others are edgy and fraught with danger, but all are guaranteed to create unforgettable memories.

glistening, its menacing figure disappearing into the murky distance. While there might be more unusual and lesser-known experiences, you’ll be hard pushed to find one as primal and striking as this.

CAGE DIVE WITH SHARKS If this kind of adrenaline sport is for you (you crazy person), look no further than the beautiful coastline of South Africa. Famous for being the shark capital of the world, you’ll find no shortage of groups offering deals on cage diving excursions. Out in the water, you’ll have a totally unique experience. As the massive great white swims by your now suddenly flimsy-feeling cage, jaw wide, rows of teeth

You can’t justify a journey to Africa that doesn’t include a safari trip. Safaris are available in many African nations, including Malawi, South Africa and Kenya, but the most exciting place to visit is arguably Kruger National Park in South Africa. One of the largest game reserves in Africa, it is home to more than 200,000 animals, sweeping plains, beautiful mountain ranges and breathtaking ravines. You don’t want to miss it.

Shark Cage Diving with KZN 62

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VISIT KRUGER NATIONAL PARK

Sandboarding in Namibia

CANOE THROUGH CROCINFESTED WATERS Canoe tours offer an exciting, if not slightly perilous, way of viewing Africa’s amazing natural world. While you can do this along many rivers, the Zambezi is a firm favourite thanks to its gentle current and stunning location. Expect elephants drinking from river banks, hippos wallowing in the mud and crocodiles slowly floating across the surface. CLIMB KILIMANJARO The tallest lone mountain in the world, to climb Kilimanjaro is not only an exhilarating experience, but also a great achievement, with only 45% of climbers ever reaching the top. The trick is to climb it slowly, allowing your body to adjust to the altitude. If you make it to the summit, the sights to be seen from the top are unlike any other on Earth. SWIM TO THE EDGE OF VICTORIA FALLS Twice as high as Niagara Falls, Victoria is an aweinspiring sight to behold, with water plummeting a sheer 108m drop into the ‘devil’s pools’ below. At certain places, a thick rock wall causes the current to become very gentle and protects you from being swept over the edge. From

here you can sit on the wall and enjoy the sites of this enormous waterfall. Don’t go it alone though! Make sure you do it with a reputable tour company. DUNE SKIING Given the steep angles, great height and smoothness of Namibia’s sand dunes, skiing has become a favourite pastime in this blisteringly hot part of the world. Just like normal skiing, you barrel down the side of a dune, weaving in and out making tracks in the sand, except now instead of wrapping up in heavy winter clothing, you’re in shorts and T-shirts. A very unique experience. VOLUNTEER Popular throughout Africa, volunteering promises to be a life-changing experience. Volunteers enjoy a sense of empathy, pride in what they are doing, self-worth and a changed perspective. Of course, not only does volunteering promise to be an amazing experience for you, but also for the people you help. Whether it’s educating communities, helping build homes or taking care of the wounded, you can make more of a difference to a person’s life than you ever could have imagined. For volunteer opportunities, visit volunteerafrica.com

48HOURS

NEW YORK

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YOUR WEEKEND IN

Words: Caroline Garnar. Photos: Caroline Garnar and iStock

NEW YORK

You know that feeling you get when you see a celebrity? It’s exciting, plus you feel a bit like you know them they’re so familiar to you. New York is like one giant celebrity. From the delis to the iconic buildings – even the steaming grates on the streets – you feel like you’re in a second home because you know it so well, and you can’t help but squeal like a geek when you see the Empire State, Times Square or Brooklyn Bridge, made famous by so many films and TV shows. But unlike the disappointment that can come when meeting one of your heroes, the people in New York are just as larger-thanlife as you’d hope, the buildings are as spectacular, and the taxis are indeed as big and yellow. Step into the film set and enjoy…

DAY ONE

Chrysler Building

64 00

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MORNING So much to do, so little time! Luckily, the numbered grid system is simple in New York, so we suggest starting in Midtown and making your way down. Start your morning with a refreshing walk

in Central Park, remembering to pause to take a look at the skyline – which includes The Plaza Hotel as featured in Home Alone 2! Pose for a photo with Alice and the Mad Hatter or Hans Christian Anderson before making your way back to the urban jungle. Grab some ‘cawfee’ and a sausage and egg bagel at Bloom’s Deli (bloomsnewyorkdeli.com) before neckbending at the Chrysler Building and taking a peek inside its marble lobby. Close by is Grand Central Terminal; a little disappointing from the outside (the ‘grand’ is on the other side, more easily accessed by car), but inside it’s just like you’ve seen in the movies, the glowing clock watching everyone go by. One thing you see in the movies that we don’t recommend is going to the top of the Empire State Building. Why? One of the best bits of the Manhattan skyline is the Empire State. If you’re on it, you can’t see it. Instead, head to Top of the Rock at the Rockerfella Centre ($29, topoftherocknyc.com), where you can see the Empire State, and the rest of the city, in all its glory.

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The insider's guide to New York Meet Corey – originally from the land of the maple leaf, he migrated over to Europe to be one of the best Trip Leaders we had on the road. Now, he calls London (at least a little bit) home as he now manages our North America products – all those epic road trips come down to this man. Behold, here are his top tips for the mother of all American cities: New York, New York. Cue the trumpets. ›› Eat a NYC bagel – most NYC delis will offer an impressively wide variety of bagel flavours with an equally wide variety of cream cheese flavours. Get yours in a brown bag to go and do as the locals do: walk with bagel in mouth and cream cheese smeared For the culture vulture over your face. You’ll pass as a New Yorker in no time. For those who like to ›› Walkthemselves the High Line immerse in – forget Central Park (temporarily) and raise your game by hitting the cultural experiences while High Line, a linear, elevated park built along an old travelling, the Hammam de freight rail line. is Instagram awaits this unusual green la Mosquee du Paris an space with itsVisitors views of the urban sprawl below. ideal destination. can spend time – enjoy a taste of the south, ›› respectfully Eat soul food in Harlem in mosque and by book a the brought north runaway and freed slaves. Think massage the hammam fried in chicken, waffles, collard greens, cornbread, ribs, for Enjoy the peach cobbler and more. For the after. mac and cheese, wonderful architecture of best? Head to Sylvia’s. the and at theMcSorley’s Salon ›› mosque, Have a beer – with claims to be the de which Thè, oldest Irishserves bar inhoney NYC and serving only two drinks – pastries African lightand beerNorth and dark beer – this is a real hidden gem. tea. la-mosquee.com/ Fun fact: the original owner fired his own son htmlfr/hammamfr.htm for serving spirits! No televisions, pool tables or

pretentiousness. It’s all about actually talking to your mates and fellow bar patrons. #imaginethat

››

Brunch with Hipsters – Astoria. East Harlem. Woodside. Sunnyside. All hipster havens. Join them for Sunday brunch and Italian coffee varieties with at least five words in the name. Brunch is an NYC hipster institution.

››

Talk to street people – yes, you read that correctly. If you really want an inside look at a city, any city, talk to the people who know the streets the best. But please do your part for humanity, and ask how you can help them in return.

Central Park

To go on one of Topdeck’s global trips, visit

Warm up your girls’ weekend topdeck.travel in Paris at HammaPacha

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48HOURS

9/11 Memorial TNT’s Ed with Hans Christian Anderson in Central Park

NEW YORK

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AFTERNOON Ideally, you should walk everywhere in New York, but with so little time, you can make use of the cheap ($2.50 per journey) and easy subway. Jump off at Chambers Street and hop into Shake Shack in Battery Park City (shakeshack.com) for a quick and delicious burger and custard shake. Make your way east towards the World Trade Centre site, where the new tower stands tall, and the 9/11 memorials honour those who lost their lives in the terrorist attack. Two huge pools sit where the World Trade Centres once were. Dark water flows continuously from top to bottom, disappearing into an abyss. The names of every person who lost their lives – from office workers to fire fighters – are cut into the steel around the edges, and glow at night. It’s haunting and strangely beautiful. You can’t fail to be moved. Head further south to the ferry terminals where clip-boarders will try to get you to pay for a boat trip to see the Statue of Liberty. Unless you want to climb her, we recommend taking the Staten Island Ferry (siferry.com). It’s not particularly glamorous, but it is free, and you can see the skyline disappear into the twilight and Miss Liberty begin to glow as she watches over the city. EVENING Enjoy a casual but ridiculously good barbecue dinner at Mighty Quinns (mightyquinnsbbq.com) in East Village. The pulled pork is some of the best we’ve had, oozing out of a bun, dolloped with creamy slaw, and washed down with a craft beer. The Orpheum Theatre Broadway (orpheum-theater.com) is just down the road and we highly recommend you go to see ‘Stomp’. Seriously entertaining, funny and impressive, and with barely any dialogue, just a lot of noise! After this, take a stroll around the East Village, which comes to life at night. We recommend ducking into Please Don’t Tell (pdtnyc.com). Although at first, you’ll be in Crif Dogs, a hot dog joint lined with old-school arcade games – also pretty cool. But it’s the vintage phone booth in there that you need. Pick up the phone to let them know your reservation, and the back of the booth will open as they usher you in to a dark, candle-lit speakeasy that serves fantastically fiery cocktails.

DAY 2

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MORNING There’s nothing that wakes you up in the morning like bouncy boobs, so why not start your day at the Museum of Sex? (museumofsex.com) Jump around in a bouncy castle of inflatable boobs, climb a wall of cocks and various other body parts, learn the ‘fascinating’ story of Deep Throat actress Linda Lovelace, as well as the sex life of animals, complete with models. If that hasn’t put you off your breakfast, stop off for a stack of blueberry pancakes on your way west (try johnysluncheonette. com), and take a stroll along the High Line (thehighline.org). This disused railway line, elevated above the streets of Manhattan, has been made into a park, making it a scenic route to the Meatpacking District. Once there, head down Hudson Street to Bleeker Street, where you will find Magnolia Bakery, which had its cupcakes made famous by Carrie in Sex and The City. Talking of which, her house is down the road at 65 Perry Street. Girls have to get the obligatory SATC shot by her steps. Do not question it. It’s the law.

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48HOURS

AFTERNOON Make your way through the West Village, pausing to mooch around vintage poster stores and to grab a coffee in quirky cafes, like The Uncommons board game cafe at 230 Thompson Street. For lunch, it’s a toss-up between a gooey slice of fresh pizza in Little Italy, or a hot bowl of dumpling broth with wonton croutons in Chinatown. Either is delicious, so it depends what mood you’re in. Read your fortune in the Mahayana Buddhist Temple – a haven of peace on the corner of the busy Manhattan Bridge junction – before heading down to Brooklyn Bridge. Cross the iconic structure and watch the Downtown skyline turn to shadows and silhouettes, before gradually lighting back up to life in front of your eyes. EVENING Finish in true tourist style by taking in the sights of Times Square. You feel as if you’ve stepped into a cartoon it’s so vibrant, with glowing neon, flashing signs and your favourite superheroes offering to make your Facebook profile picture dreams come true. You won’t get fine dining here, but it’s still tasty. Revel in American kitsch and block your arteries with all things fried at Brooklyn Diner (brooklyndiner.com) before classing it up at Top of the Strand (topofthestrand.com), where you can sip a sophisticated cocktail looking out at one of the best views of the good old Empire State. New York, you really are a star.

Caroline on Brooklyn Bridge

READY TO BOOK YOUR NY TRIP? WHERE TO STAY We stayed at the Marriot East Side (marriott.com), with rooms from $139pn. It’s smack bang in Midtown, making it perfect for Times Square, the Chrysler, Rockefeller and Central Park. If you want to be in the trendier Downtown, though, try a cheap sleeper cabin in The Bowery House (theboweryhouse.com) from just $54pp/pn.

Brooklyn Bridge

HOW TO GET THERE British Airways operates daily flights to New York. Fares from Heathrow in the summer start from £745 return including taxes and charges. To book visit www.ba.com or call 0844 4930 787

VISA INFO You do not need a visa to enter the US, but you will need to complete a visa waiver form, and pay a small fee. Complete the form here: https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov

TOURS For tours of New York and beyond, visit tnttoursearch. com where you can find short and sweet trips, such as Contiki’s three-nighter for £589, right up to an epic ‘New York to New York’ tour with G Adventures from £3,399, among many others.

Times Square TNTMAGAZINE.COM

LATEDEALS

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Rome from £149pp

DEAL OF THE MONTH EUROPE SUMMER 7.5% EARLYBIRD – LAST CHANCE TO SAVE £££!

From

£328*pp

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Get in before 31 March 2015 to take advantage of this cheeky little 7.5% discount off your next European adventure of choice. *From price is based on our ‘Southern Nomad’ camping trip departing 30 April & 21 May, from London to Rome, visiting 4 countries along the way. Includes 7 nights in twin-share dome-style tents with air mattresses, 7 breakfasts, 4 lunches & 5 dinners, English Channel ferry crossing, modern air-conditioned coach, guided tours of all major cities & services of a Trip Leader, Driver & Chef. topdeck.travel/tnt-deals

ROME, ITALY Three nights 4-star B&B accommodation at the Esh Executive Style Hotel from £149pp. In a beautiful setting within the 17th-century walls of a former monasteryand a short walk from Metro stations allowing easy access to all of Rome. Includes return flights from London Gatwick or London Stansted leaving on various dates up until March 24th. qwertytravel.com

KRAKOW, POLAND Three nights B&B at the 3-star Vanialla Aparthotel from £169pp. Located to the south west of Krakow it is a short stroll from a tram stop which offers connections to the stunning Old Town. Includes return flights from London Stansted, departing various dates from April 12th to June 28th. qwertytravel.com HAMMAMET, TUNISIA Seven nights B&B at the 4-star Residence De Charme Dar Hayet from £249pp. Situated in the centre of Hammamet with private beach area, the hotel is only a few minutes’ walk from the centre of the town and the 13th-century walled medina. Includes return flights from London Luton, departs March 29th. icelolly.com

£250-500 AMALFI, ITALY Seven nights bed & breakfast at the 4-star Villa Romana on the Neapolitan Riviera in Italy from £407.20pp. Situated in Minori Villa Romana, just 150 metres from the beach, surrounded by terraced hills and with Amalfi just 4km away. Includes return flights from London Stansted departing April 5th. sunshine.co.uk SHARM EL SHEIKH, EGYPT Seven nights all-inclusive accommodation at the 3-star Amar Sina Hotel in Sharm El Sheikh from £276.50pp. Located in the quieter Hadaba area and within easy walking distance to Naama Bay and the beach. Includes return flights from London Luton, departing April 21st. holidays.easyjet.com MINI BOHEMIAN Three nights and four days driving the beautiful Croatian coastline from Split to Zagreb, crossing into Slovenia to visit Ljubljana and onto Bled for swimming, rafting and adventure if you choose, from £279pp. Includes three nights bed & breakfast and all land transport. Does not include external flights. Departs Split May 9th. busabout.com

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals for more new travel deals. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly Tour Search and Travel newsletters, which will be emailed to you every Monday and Wednesday with deals, prizes, news and destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com. To see hundreds of package tours in one place, visit and book through TNT’s Tour Search at tnttoursearch.com

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> £500 BEST OF GREECE Ten days to experience the most popular Greek islands of Mykonos, Santorini and Ios from £389.40pp (+local payment). Accommodation within 2-star, 3-star & 4-star hotels, some with breakfast. Includes inter-island ferries between islands and transfers to & from hotel port. Does not include external flights, departs Athens May 23rd. tnttoursearch.com

ECUADOR MULTISPORT Nine actionpacked days around Ecuador biking, white water rafting, trekking and much more from £579pp. Seven nights hotel accommodation, one night camping, includes some meals. Does not include external flights, departs Quito May 16th. tnttoursearch.com SUMMER FUN & SAILING Twentyseven days visiting 14 countries including France, Switzerland, Monaco, Italy, Vatican City, and Greece from £1,494pp. Various types of accommodations, which might include anything from hostels or bungalows to hotels or a 12th-century castle! Departs London April 24th, must be booked by March 31st. topdeck.travel

MONEY TRANSFERS Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa.

TRANSFER FEES FROM £1 For live transfer rates, visit tntforex.com or call 0870 898 8996

EXCHANGE RATES* 1.98 Australian dollar New Zealand dollar 2.05 South African rand 17.95 Polish złoty 5.66 Euro 1.36 US dollar 1.54 Canadian dollar 1.93 Hong Kong dollar 11.97 Swedish krona 12.98 Swiss franc 1.46 Singapore dollar 2.09 WHY USE TNTFOREX?

n Great rates n No hidden bank fees n Faster transactions n Easy-to-use online systems n Safe, secure and fully compliant

n Unrivalled customer service * Transfer rates are as of 19/02/15. Please note that these are mid market rates in relation to GBP

**Prices correct at time of writing

< £250

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HOTSHOTS

WINNER WINNER QUIVER TREE FOREST NEAR KEETMANSHOOP, NAMIBIA Luke Thornton, New Rochelle, NY Everything about Namibia takes your breath away, but these trees just made me think of Dr Seuss. They are so alien in their form to me, but I just love their silhouettes against that sunset.

RUNNER-UP MULLETS AND FRESH BOTARGO, SARDINIA, ITALY Sage van Dale, 25, UK Fresh botargo – why what did you think they were? None the wiser? It’s the dried roe pouch of grey mullet. Nom, nom.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND OR A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE VOUCHER! To be in with a chance of winning one of these fantastic prizes, simply upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots to be put into a regular prize draw. First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £258 from Haggis Adventures (does not include accommodation, haggisadventures.com). The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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The Magic Kingdom

A secret city carved into rock, a sea where no person can sink, magical mud that can turn back time… Jordan truly is the Kingdom of fairy tales WORDS CAROLINE GARNAR

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Jordan is one of those countries where if you only go to one area, you are seriously missing out. It’s possible to cover the main spots in a week or so – I only had a few days and managed to cover Petra, Dana, Karak, Wadi Musa and the Dead Sea – but after chatting to people who had visited the other areas – Amman, Wadi Rum, Jerash and Aqaba – I’m already planning my return. There’s something truly magical about this place, with its traditional way of life, natural and man-made wonders, and religious sites. It strips life back to the basics, and is surprisingly humbling. Here, I share my experience, look at the other worthy stops, and which companies you can tour with on your journey in Jordan…

Petra Does it get any more magical than a lost city? Petra was built by the Nabateans and what we can still see today is believed to date back to around 400BC, but was discovered by the Western world only in the early 1800s. Petra is now one of the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;New7Wonders of the Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, and you have probably seen a thousand pictures of its famous Treasury, but nothing compares to seeing it in real life. Nature has provided a suitably magical introduction: you weave your way through a crevice hewn between two honeycoloured rocks for around 30 minutes before reaching a strategically placed bend. This acts as a pair of hands cupped over your eyes before being lifted to reveal the surprise: TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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your first glimpse of the Treasury. As you step into the light you can drink it up in all its glory; take in the big – the columns, the gaping entryway, the porch-like facade – and the small details – the seven cups, which represent each day of the week, the spray of bullet holes, from where Bedouin believed the pot at the top held treasure, and the remnants of mythical creatures guarding the doorway. Nowadays it’s guarded by two costumed guards and camels, horses and donkeys waiting to take you on a lolloping ride. You are likely to be constantly bothered by the animals’ keepers, but your guide with help you politely refuse or negotiate the right price. We decided to hop aboard a donkey when visiting the monastery, which is at the top of more than 800 steps. Paying JD5 (approx £4.50) we convinced ourselves it was all part of the authentic experience as we passed people twice our age hopping, skipping and jumping up the steps alongside us. Reaching the top, we ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at the monastery, which had a façade so smooth it seemingly transformed the once-jagged rock into butter. You barely catch your breath before it’s taken away again as you take in the views of the surrounding canyons and mountains. There’s so much more to see, including tombs, the remains of a theatre and naturally formed rock patterns, as well as stopping for a cup of tea with a Bedouin who calls this wonder of the world his home. After all this, be sure to stop off at a Turkish bath; we paid JD20 (approx £18) to ease our tired legs in a jacuzzi, steam room and with a soap-sud-fuelled scrub, massage and hair wash. With all the dust of the day washed away, head for a cheap dinner of garlic chicken, Arabic flatbread and pickles before enjoying a nightcap at The Mövenpick’s rooftop bar.

DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Intrepid Travel offers a Petra Uncovered tour, which mainly focuses on Petra, but also takes in the Dead Sea. It’s a two-nighter and costs from £670. Topdeck’s Promised Land of Petra is a more intensive trip, which also covers Jerusalem. This eight-night tour includes a full day soaking up the sites of Petra. From £1,495, tnttoursearch.com Dana, Kerak and Wadi Musa The journey between Petra and the Dead Sea is around five hours, but it’s all part of the tour as you drive along King’s Way, which is peppered with tourist sites and beautiful scenery. Stop offs include the peaceful mountain village of Dana, and the church in Madaba, which houses mosaic maps of Jordan and is believed to have been the site of a miracle (look out for the third hand which ‘magically appeared’ on their image of the Virgin Mary). Then there’s Kerak Castle, which has a fascinating history and looks over beautiful Jordanian countryside, and Mount Nebo – the believed burial site of Moses – where you can see across Jerusalem, Bethlehem and Jericho. There are various other view points, including a sweeping vista over Wadi Musa, a vast, cavernous wadi said to rival the USA’s Grand Canyon.

Xxxx WORDS RACHEAL GETZELS

Rock tombs in Dalyan 72

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DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Intrepid’s Family Journey to the Lost City takes a day out of its week-long tour of the hot spots to explore the stop offs en-route, taking in Madaba, Mount Nebo and Kerak Castle. From £695, tnttoursearch.com

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WHAT ELSE? WADI RUM If you were a fan of the Northern Territory back home, be sure to tick Wadi Rum off your list. This stunning landscape of sand, rocks and canyons would transport you directly to Oz if it wasn’t for the Bedouin guides, lolloping camels and ubiquitous sweet-smelling shisha pipes. Spend the day tearing through the vast space in a Jeep and the night under the blanket of stars, smoking shisha before setting off for bed in a camelhair tent.

AMMAN This is the capital of Jordan and where its airport is, so most tours will spend a day here at the start or end of your trip. And quite right too, as it’s a captivating place. Wander through the bustling markets of Downtown, take a snap of the pink Grand Husseini Mosque (nonMuslims are not allowed inside), climb the Hill of the Citadel to see what’s left of the Temple of Hercules, and check out the impressive Roman Theatre with views over the city. * Unfortunately it’s not advisable to travel to Amman at present as it’s close to the Syria border. Keep an eye on gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/jordan for updates

AQABA This is the part of Jordan which feels like you could be in Europe as it’s a busy beach town with tourists a-plenty. There is a reason for this, though: the diving is second to none and the beaches are clean, sandy and backed by butter-coloured mountains.

JERASH The Dead Sea To look at the Dead Sea is to see a drawing of a mystical land come to life: a sea as calm and still as a mill pond stretches as far as the eye can see. You feel as if you are on the edge of another world as the water acts as a mirror, perfectly reflecting the blue sky and dove-grey low-rise rocky border. No creature can survive in the Dead Sea waters and yet its mud can bring eternal youth (well, almost). Smother yourself in the gooey thickness before wallowing into the water and feeling it lift you up, like a bobbing cork. It is a peaceful, mystical place and truly one of my favourites in the world. If this is all too relaxing for you, about 30 minutes from the main Dead Sea strip, you can do the Siq Trail at the mouth of Wadi Mujib. This is a natural assault course of rocks and waterfalls that would have Bear Grylls crying for his mummy. Using ropes, your own strength and a heavy dose of courage, clamber up rocky walls, dive into waterfalls and whiz down Mother Nature’s water flumes.

After Petra, Jerash is the second-most popular tourist attraction in Jordan, and one of the best-preserved Roman cities in the Middle East. Climb to the top of the south theatre for a great view of the city and a performance from the resident Jordanian Scottish pipe band. Seriously. To see more tours and to book, visit tnttoursearch.com and type in ‘Jordan’. You will find everything from flyby visits to adventures also taking in Israel and Egypt.

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DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Every tour takes in the Dead Sea, but many opt for a quick dip and you’re on your way. Granted, you can’t soak for too long in the salty water, but if you want to also check out the Siq Trail, Encounters Travel offers this option (during season) as part of its seven-night Jordan Encounters tour. £590, tnttoursearch.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Me-Hico

with a capital ‘H’

We explore the Pacific coast of Mexico, where the vibrant way of life has as big a kick as its tequila WORDS: CAROLINE GARNAR

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I’ve been sitting here trying to pin-point what it is that makes the Pacific coast of Mexico worth a visit. And I’m struggling (I’m currently on my third cup of procrastination, I mean tea). I know it is – I’ve just been there and would highly recommend it. But why? Winter sun? Yes, the temperatures are beautifully balmy in winter, which is a great reason for Americans to descend from the chillier states to the north, but worth a 17-hour flight from the UK? Possibly not. Great food? The fresh guacamole made table-side at nearly every meal, with zingy salsa and crispy nacho chips, along with the chilli-infused succulent seafood and tender meats is indeed fantastic, but then the flavours of the Mediterranean are pretty fantastic too. The people? They are lovely and hospitable; smiley and lively – but, again, is this not the case in many other places? And then it struck me. I was struggling to put my finger on what Mexico has that nowhere else does because it’s intangible. It’s the buzz in the air, the feeling you get watching the sun sink, the trigger of endorphins as your eyes feast on vibrant colour and your ears pick up sounds from smiling mariachi bands or rock ‘n’ roll blasting out of a corner shop’s speakers. Mexico simply sets your senses alive. This is likely the case across the country – Mexico City is particularly bustling, and Cancun boasts fabulous beaches, ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Snorkel at the protected Marietas Islands but it’s also teaming with tourists – particularly Americans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, but if you want a quieter trip with more unique ways to spend your time (and less ‘OMGeeee!’), then I recommend the neighbouring areas of Riviera Nayarit and Puerto Vallarta, nestled on the west coast around the waistline of Mexico in the state of Nayarit. Every 10 years the Mexican government picks an area to pour its tourism budget into (the last one was Cancun) and Riviera Nayarit is now top of the list. Along with Puerto Vallarta, there are still pockets of delightful local life, with a mix of tourist attractions to lure in the crowds. So get in there now before everyone else does.

the promenade for the more peaceful process of sampling cheese, chilli oils and meats from the farmers’ market. With your saliva glands activated, stroll over to Eva Mandarina Beach Club for lunch, washing down aguachile – prawns in a spicy green lime and chilli sauce on tostadas – with a hibiscus and tequila cocktail.

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO Surfing

Photos: iStock & Caroline Garnar

The beach at Sayulita in Riviera Nayarit is renowned for its stand-up surfing. Well, not literally perhaps – my friend managed to take a tumble and scrape his back on sea anemone spines, leading to a trip to Dr Tweezers – ouch. But, if you manage to stay on your board, you will be rewarded with some great surf. As always, for those who don’t surf, watching is nearly as entertaining, and the waters off Sayulita are littered with blonde-headed human seals ready to perform while you recline on the long stretch of warm sand. Fish and farmers’ market The Mercado del Mar at La Cruz de Huancaxtle, Riviera Nayarit, lines the glistening waters of the port, where fishermen haul in their wares to be sold at the fish market. Shouting men gut fish and slap their carcasses on ice in the blue-tiled undercover area, while you can meander along 76

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The Mexicans cover nearly everything in colourful beads

Rhythms of the Night There are some touristy things simply worth doing, and this is one of them. You might wonder why when you’re on a ferry full of over-enthused Americans tucking into the buffet and singing along to the Kiss tribute band (yes, really), but this is merely the transport, not the main affair. Once you arrive at your destination – a secluded cove on Las Caletas – you can’t help but get swept up in the magical flickering torches, tribal beats and dancers on stilts greeting you with flowing waves. Take a seat to watch the show; a surreal tale based around hunting and a man and woman getting it on – we think – with incredible dancing and acrobatics (one guy holds himself sideways on a pole and winds his legs in circles 16 times – I counted), and mesmerising beats. After the show, enjoy a buffet dinner and wine by candlelight before hopping on your boat-ride back, which is a lot more bearable post-wine. $129pp (£85), vallarta-adventures.com Discover San Pancho San Pancho is a colourful little neighbourhood in Riviera Nayarit which gives off the quiet but confident vibe that it’s on the edge of something big. Boutique hotels, such as Cielo Rojo (see ‘Where to Stay’) with its cute Café Organico serving fresh salads, egg dishes and Mexican scones, hint at its ambition to lure in the traveller looking for a truer experience outside of the hotel chains, while the truly inspirational Entre Amigos A.C (entreamigos.org.mx) is an exciting glimpse at the budding sapling stage of this small town. The large warehouse-like space is a school, but with a distinct difference: anyone is invited to come in and teach their skill to children (and adults) from the town. From circus skills (with props donated by the founder of Cirque du Soleil, no less) to recycling glass and plastic into ornaments, the space is a creative hub, with the aim to help educate the area’s people and prepare them for the tourism boom to come. I highly recommend you stop by and see if you can volunteer a skill. Shopping Sayulita is the hipster town in Riviera Nayarit, meaning it’s one of the best places to pick up creative souvenirs. Many of the galleries double up as shops, selling vibrant knick-knacks, jewellery and clothes alongside the bigger works of art adorning the walls. Another good option is San Pancho, also in Nayarit, where a stroll along the waterfront is rewarded with great views and stall after stall selling food, drink, jewellery, crafts, bags and more. Be sure to stop off at the beach-front Las Palmas for Rojo Cielo – a cocktail of tomato juice, beer and hot sauce – and some delicious tuna tostadas with fried onions, avocado and chilli dips. In Puerto Vallarta, head Downtown to shop along the beautiful waterfront, and among the cobbled back streets, decorated with multicoloured flags. Snorkel at Marietas Islands A holiday without a boat trip and a snorkel isn’t much of a holiday in our opinion. Luckily, the volcanic Marietas Islands lie off the coast of Nayarit, offering the perfect excuse to jump aboard, have a bit of a sun-bake and dive into the aquamarine waters. First, you moor up by a hidden beach; swim through a short covered channel of water to reach a small sandy cove with a natural skylight to let the sun in. From here you can also head through a cave to clamber over rocks and watch the water gush in. The snorkelling here is fantastic, mainly thanks to Jacques Cousteau, no less, who helped the uninhabited islands become officially protected

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Shopping in Sayulita

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WHERE TO STAY HOTEL CIELO ROJO

This cute little boutique hotel is in the heart of San Pancho, Riviera Nayarit’s creative hub. Tucked up in a cobbled street, inside it’s surprisingly light and airy, with large white-painted rooms jammed with character: patchwork quilts, local art on the walls, and intricately painted basins in the en-suites. The Café Organico downstairs is the perfect place to fuel up with wholesome goodness in the morning before exploring the town. Rooms start at $125 (£80); San Pancho, Riviera Nayarit; hotelcielorojo.com

WHERE TO STAY CASA VELAS HOTEL

This adults-only spot is gorgeously intimate, with one colonial-style restaurant, a small bar where a mariachi band plays come nightfall and a gorgeous pool with a swim-up bar and shaded cabanas. Streams with fat gold carp gleaming in the sunlight weave through the pathways, and resident iguanas entertain you in the trees over breakfast. The rooms are clean and bright, all in all making this the perfect place to unwind in between your Puerto Vallarta adventures. All inclusive starts from $380pn (£280); Puerto Vallarta; hotelcasavelas.com

Release baby turtles at Kapuri Beach from hunting or fishing. Watch vibrant shoals of friendly fish go about their day – a favourite of mine was an electric blue fish with star-like spots on their back – keeping an eye out for turtles, octopus, and wild dolphins, as well as blue-footed booby birds on the rocks. $85 (£55), vallarta-adventures.com Release turtles at Kupuri Beach Every year, turtles lollop onto Kupuri Beach near Punta Mita, Nayarit, and lay hundreds of eggs in the sand. Any of us who have so much as glimpsed at a nature programme know the rest – most of them get gobbled up by sea birds and iguanas. To prevent this, conservation group Red Tortuguera A.C (redtortuguera.org) collects the eggs, keeps them safe and warm until the baby turtles hatch, and then releases them on the beach, guiding them into the water. They’re so dinky, I’m amazed they can swim against the waves. Indeed, many of them flap around on the sand for ages, only to reach the tide’s edge and be carried back to where they started. Unbearably cute, it’s tempting to just put them in my pockets and offer them a home in my bath tub, but these little fellas have got some serious swimming to do… The Four Seasons Punta Mita offers a turtle release programme from the end of August until mid-December, four seasons.com/puntamita Spa it up

Photo: Casa Velas Hotel

There’s nothing like a good old pamper, and a treatment at Grand Velas Riviera Nayarit hotel should be combined with a ‘water ritual’ to get the full effect. Start off with a sauna bake, followed by a pore-opening steam. Then make your way around the pools, from a bubbling hot Jacuzzi to an aquatic foot massage to an ice-cold plunge pool for the brave. Relaxed already, challenge yourself not to fall asleep when the skilled masseuse rubs all your stresses away. Hmmmm…. $50 (£32) for the water ritual, vallarta.grandvelas.com 78

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WHERE TO STAY

Photos: Hard Rock Hotels

HARD ROCK HOTEL VALLARTA

Hidden Mexico Tour Climbing aboard the mammoth open-air truck, you feel as if you’re about to venture into the deepest, darkest jungle. Instead, we heave 2,000ft up into the mountains to the 16th-century village of El Tuito. On the way we stop off at lush botanical gardens and a road-side bakery for traditional stone-baked bread (with a not-very-traditional filling of Philidelphia or Nutella), and then take a stroll around the village. More run-down than quaint, if I’m honest, with peeling Coca-Cola signs and crumbling walls, the charm lies in the simple way of life; brightly coloured washing drying in the sun decorates the front gardens, a young boy shyly smiles for our photos, a town square holds stories of an oldfashioned Tinder, where boys circle in one direction, girls in the other, and the boy passes a flower to the girl he likes the look of. Lunch is a generous barbecue – try the grilled cactus – under shady trees by the river of an organic farm, and dessert is at a tequila factory…. need we say more? $99 (£65), vallarta-adventures.com

Yes, it’s a chain, but man is this place cool (in a longhaired, head-banging, leather-jacket-wearing kind of way). It’s not cheap, but the all-inclusive means all inclusive. Eschewing the traditional mini-bar of teeny-tiny bottles of spirits, you get full-sized babies in your room here, so pour yourself a strong one before rocking out on your guitar (you can order one from room service – seriously), and reclining in your in-room double hot tub. And that’s just in a standard room. You can eat at any of the restaurants, serving Mexican to Asian to Italian, and drink at any of the bars. Classic rock tunes are your constant company at the hotel (whether you see that as a good or bad thing is down to taste, I suppose), and you can even download the music to take it with you after check out. Music is such a huge part of this hotel, there’s even a Vibe Manager who selects the songs every day. That is his actual job. Jealous, much? Just 15 minutes from Vallarta-Nayarit Airport, this is the perfect place to spend a few days to start – or end – your holiday in rock star style. All inclusive starts at $350-400pn (£230-260); Bahía de Banderas, Riviera Nayarit; hrhvallarta.com

Take in the nightlife For sunset cocktails, you can’t beat Vista Grill in Puerto Vallarta (vistagrill.com), thanks to its roof-top terrace taking in the views out to the water. For dinner, head to La Palapa (lapalapapv.com), which is right on the beach. Hear the sound of the waves as you tuck into gorgeous dishes complemented with tropical fruit flavours. For live music and a buzzy atmosphere, head to the town square back in Sayulita, Riviera Nayarit. Or if you fancy drinking and dancing the night away, the waterfront in Downtown Puerto Vallarta has a strip of booming openfronted clubs and bars to choose from. Thomson flies direct to Vallarta-Nayarit Airport weekly from Gatwick. thomson.co.uk. It is also accessible via Aero Mexico aeromexico.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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Emma Sparks British weather is unpredictable. Seasons rarely stick to their allotted months, and April can see anything from flooding and snow to full-blown heat waves. While this might give your colleagues something to chat about, wouldn’t it be nice to escape to a place where sunshine is (pretty much) guaranteed? Springtime travel can be cheap, too. Emma Sparks from Lonely Planet has some suggestions for the sun hunters out there. ISTANBUL, TURKEY Head east, all the way to the edge of Asia, to feel the heat in Istanbul. Make the most of the sunshine by rising at dawn with the call to prayer, and exploring the labyrinthine streets of the city. Lunch like a local with a picnic of bread, cheese and olives at Emirgan Park. If you can bear to go inside, a stint of haggling in the Grand Bazaar is a quintessential experience. LANZAROTE, CANARY ISLANDS Lanzarote may be a package holiday favourite, but it’s far from tacky. Its volcanic landscape is otherworldly, and the Papagayo beaches on the south coast are worth the dusty hike it takes to reach them. Plus, given the island’s location just off the coast of Morocco, temperatures will soar into the 20s come April, no problem. 80

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SICILY, ITALY This Mediterranean island is made for sunny afternoons spent meandering between ancient architectural gems and turquoise-trimmed beaches. All with a pistachio flavoured gelato in hand, naturally. Pay a visit to achingly picturesque Taormina, before the crowds of summer arrive. SEVILLE, SPAIN Charismatic Seville comes into its own in April, as Semana Santa (Holy Week) and Feria de Abril (April fair) fill the streets with elaborate processions and jubilant locals. When you’re done basking in the sunshine, feast on endless tapas or show off your moves at a flamenco bar. CUBA If you’re still not convinced that Europe can give you the goods this spring,

head to the Caribbean to catch the end of the peak season. Prices tend to drop in May. In Cuba, temperatures can reach a toasty 31ºC, and the chance of rain is still fairly low. Times are changing with recent developments in US-Cuba relations, so now is the time to explore the island’s fascinating culture. The grey skies of the UK couldn’t feel further away when you’re kicking back with a mojito in Havana, that’s for sure.

Photos: iStock

LONELY PLANET’S TRAVEL TIPS WHERE TO FIND SUNSHINE THIS SPRING

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The official source of advice for New Zealanders travelling or living overseas

safetravel.govt.nz SAFETRAVEL – LOG ON BEFORE YOU TAKE-OFF

Last month’s attacks in Paris and Belgium are sobering reminders to Kiwis to register your travel with the New Zealand Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade. New Zealanders who register at www.safetravel.govt.nz receive up-to-date Travel Advice and are contacted first to confirm well-being if there is a major incident involving foreign nationals. If you don’t register, we have no way of locating or contacting you. Travellers are also strongly encouraged to purchase comprehensive travel insurance.

You can find the latest travel advice for New Zealanders at www.safetravel.govt.nz

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For the last 30 years TNT Magazine has brought travel advice and news to a growing audience of travellers. 18 to 35 year olds from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa have been using TNT as their guide to living and working in the UK. With a growing audience comes growing demand and over quarter of a million users are now demanding travel offers and information for tours across the globe from their base in the UK. Here at TNT we have listened to the demands of our readers and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re excited to launch TNT Tours. Whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for a weekend in Dublin, a group tour across North Africa, or a ten day epic adventure in South America, the TNT Tour Search facility is here to meet your travel wishes. With tours being added on a daily basis and reviews to give you peace of mind, TNT Tours will become your primary destination when looking to travel anywhere around the globe and you know the process will be as good as you can get anywhere else, if not better.

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LIFESTYLE CAREERS | LIVING | CLASSIFIEDS | DESPERATELY SEEKING

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE Meet Miss Edmunds, who is setting up a sweet shop from March 28 to April 12. So far so good, right? Nope. She’s setting up in the London Dungeon and she has a dark chocolate side. Be warned, Miss Edmunds poisons her sweet treats. Play taste roulette, with some choccies nice, others naughty – spiked with mustard, chilli powder, or even Strychnine, apparently. Do you think chocolate is worth the risk...? thedungeons.com/london

LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Show you care by being there when no one else is

Care for a living From delivering babies to helping the elderly, the carework industry offers some of the most rewarding jobs out there If you’re a people person, you could be great in the care industry. Of course it involves a little more than just keeping someone company, and the job can often be tiring and emotionally difficult, but hugely rewarding. Care workers are always in demand so you shouldn’t find it too difficult to find employment, plus hours are flexible and pay is decent. For jobs, try recruitment agencies such as Safehandsrecruitment.co.uk, which covers positions from childcare to working with the elderly, and will match you with a client based on your interests and experience.

Live-in carer The role of a live-in carer is to offer personal care for someone who needs more help around the house – this 84

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could be overseeing medication, helping with mobility and doing household chores. The most important thing you’ll be doing is spending quality time with the person. A benefit of live-in care is that you get room and board while you are working, which means the majority of your salary goes right in your pocket. Christiescare.com provides 24-hour help to patients all over the country and will help place you. It also runs a five-day in-depth induction course that will train you for your position. Clarendonhomecare.com also finds carers placements, and its clients are focused around London and the south east, so you can stay in the city. Qualifications: Experience in care work is not essential but it can be helpful. In England the most relevant qualification

would be an NVQ Level 2 in Health and Social Care,and equivalent courses of study from abroad will be recognised. Most of all, however, you have to show that you’re compassionate and care about people. All applicants will need to pass a DBS check (previously called a CRB check). Hours and pay: You will work nights and weekends as a live-in carer. Expect to make £600-700 a week, on top of your free room and board. There will also be a budget for outings.

Working in a care home Old people’s homes are especially in need of employees and these roles can be very rewarding as you get to know the residents and hear some of the amazing stories they have to tell. You can also work in specialist

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LIFESTYLECAREERS in working with someone post-hospital. Your schedule will depend on your clients, so you may work once a week doing the shopping, or on a one-off weekend if the rest of the family are going away. If you really like working with babies and children, there are options to work with a new mother when she comes out of hospital, helping look after her newborn. Qualifications: It’s about bedside manner here, and you’ll often find with care work like this, the most important thing is being a good friend. Draycottnursing.co.uk places people as live-in and short-term carers. It especially works on tailored plans with clients who are new to needing help, so they’re great to go to if you’d like intermediate or short-term work. Hours and pay: If you’re working as a live-in carer for a short period of time expect to make £100 a day, and have shifts through the night. If you’re working on an hourly basis helping out here and there, you’re hourly rate will start at £7.50 an hour. Again, clients will provide money for food, activities, and potentially board if needed.

Be a friend and help bring laughter back to someone’s life

positions such as in a hospice or rehab centre. At care homes there are also more managerial and administrative roles. Care24seven.com specialises in placing people in care positions with the elderly. Qualifications: In these jobs an NVQ certificate or equivalent in health care is preferable but again not always required. Recruitment agencies will help place you depending on background. Care24seven.com fast tracks you through whatever handling or first aid training you need. Hours and pay: Shifts will be shorter than live-in work but carers will still be needed through the night or on weekends. Care workers make £7-10 an hour, generally.

Photos: iStock. Words: Rachael Getzels

Healthcare assistants Healthcare assistants work in more medical settings, such as hospitals and GP offices, so it will suit people who are interested in this side of care work and perhaps want to get into the medical profession. In this job you will work closely with a healthcare professional, such as a nurse or a midwife, and will get a lot of exposure to the role.

Duties will include things such as monitoring a patient’s health by checking temperature, pulse and weight, serving food, making beds and helping patients mobilise or get comfortable. If you have an interest in one area of medicine you can work alongside staff in this area. Qualifications: You don’t need qualifications for this role, as it’s all part of gaining experience. Hours and pay: Most healthcare assistants work a 37-hour week with flexible shifts. Salaries start at £14,000 but can rise to £19,000 if you have experience. Additional pay for antisocial hours – at night or in the weekend – may be on offer.

Intermediate/short-term carer Short-term carers are hired for specific time frames, so they’re perfect if you need a flexible job. Placements can come up when family members need a break, or if a patient needs extra support during or after an illness, with medication or getting around. HFHhealthcare.co.uk work with the NHS to place carers so they’re particularly useful if you’re interested

ON THE JOB By combining her creative flair and business mind, Rosie Willett established her own TIARA DESIGN company, and here she tells us what she loves about it. My job involves... designing wedding headpieces and jewellery. I make each and every piece individually by hand, so this is how I spend the majority of my day. I design a new collection annually, also planning photo shoots, brochure design and marketing the new pieces. I got my job by... I set up Rosie Willett Designs straight after graduating with a first class honours degree in fashion marketing. I built up an excellent reputation and the brand has grown over time. My advice to anyone who wants a job like mine is... believe in yourself and your product and be prepared to work extremely hard. If you love what you do, it shouldn’t feel like work! rosiewillettdesigns.co.uk

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We are (tea) potty... For this cup and pot combo. debenhams.com

.00

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Hop online and tweet yourself ...to this bunny and chick tea towel. cuckooland.com

Settling in to your new home Moving abroad changes everything – your home, job, friends – everything! If we haven’t scared you off, here’s how to make the transition easier...

£6.

Have a sweet-as-sugar style... with this Ashley Thomas jar. debenhams.com

£5.

Just arrived here and feeling a tad overwhelmed? Or perhaps you’re planning another global move? Integrating into a new culture can be quite a challenge. Experience and knowledge can help you move to an unfamiliar country but there are also more steps you can take. Perhaps nothing will fully prepare you for your unique move; but you can provide a solid foundation for a future as a successful expat. This is particularly important if you’re moving with a family. Here are some top tips to make your move smoother...

1. Acquire a valuable skill-set while re-discovering yourself Pour your heart into it... with this green enamel jug. wilko.com

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Learning a new skill that will be of use in your new home country can get you off to a healthy start. It could not only be useful

in finding you a job, but it can prepare you mentally for your move.

2. Remain patient, very patient Change isn’t always easy – particularly if you have young children. Settling in can take time so don’t rush or be too hard on yourself. Keep everyone’s spirits high and stay busy, enthused and positive.

3. Be open and flexible At times, without realising it, we can appear set in our ways; but when in a new country it can be important to take a fresh approach to life. Consider your personal and family goals and ambitions, and be realistic with how you might go about achieving them.

4. Communicate with your children

Words: Liam Witham. Photos: Thinkstock, iStock and PRshots.com

£22

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AFL LONDON – FOR WOMEN

At times, we may underestimate their emotional development, but even the smallest of toddlers often still sense when change occurs. Make sure you explain to your children what’s happening and let them know that their room will eventually contain their favourite teddy bear, toys and prized possessions again.

5. Don’t lose touch The fact that you’re now overseas doesn’t mean you’ve left planet earth. Ensure you keep all channels of communication open when you arrive at your new home. If your children miss their friends then arrange Skype chats for them on a regular basis. They’ll soon settle into the change.

6. Turn your house into a home It will make your children feel safe, comfortable and loved. Maintain similar routines to those you had back home and ensure your children recognise their spaces as their own. Create a communal, inclusive living room and display some photos of everyone’s friends and family on the walls.

7. Become a social butterfly As the new foreigners in town, it can be difficult to meet new people, but by getting involved in the various communities that interest you, such as sport, music, school or expat associations, you will very likely find other people with similar interests, who

in turn will introduce you to their circle of friends. You’ll have a whole bunch of new mates before you know it.

8. Be open to offers of help When in a new and foreign land, it’s important to make the effort to ask people who’ve been there longer to offer a hand and inform you about your new surroundings. Other expats are a good place to start.

9. Discover the familiar Seek out places and things that remind you of home or seem familiar in some way. For example, in London seek out an Aussie Rules sports team, where you will meet loads of fellow Aussies. See box out to the right for more information. Plus, pretty much everywhere in Clapham comes with the obligatory Aussie expats hanging out.

10. Learn from the country’s culture Learn a few basic phrases in your new country’s language (if it’s not English, obvs) and teach them to your children. Being polite, respectful and saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ opens many doors in any language. Good luck! These tips were provided by Liam Witham from PSS International removals (pssremovals.com), specialists in overseas household removals.

2015 is set to be a historic year for Australian Rules Football in London. On this, the 25th anniversary of the Men’s AFL league, we will also see a women’s AFL league in London for the first time in history. Women’s AFL has been active and gaining momentum in London and all over the UK for the past few years, with ever-growing demand and interest leading to the establishment of the first ever London women’s league. With the first season due to start in April, teams are looking to recruit as many girls as possible to help get this great game off the ground. AFL is excellent for fitness, great fun, and the perfect way to make mates, so if you’re new to the city or looking for a new pastime, why not give it a go? There are four women’s teams located in central London, both north and south of the river, and each invites women to come and join their training sessions. All levels are welcome. To get stuck in, contact one of the teams: Wandsworth Demons train on Clapham Common wandsworthdemons.com The South East London Giants train on Peckham Rye Common londongiants.com The Wimbledon Hawks train on the north-west corner of Clapham Common. wimbledonhawks.com The North London Lions train at Regents Park, near the hub aussierules.co.uk TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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DEE COOPER live-in jobs

Dee Cooper Live In Jobs has heaps of new available hotel and pub vacancies for live in couples and singles across the UK including Lake District, Scottish Highlands, Surrey, Berkshire and Cornwall. Call Dee on 01764 670001 or email deecooperjobs@gmail.com for details of how to apply for these immediate positions. Bar waiting and general asst positions plus some chefing vacancies available now.

Dee @ dee cooper live in jobs

If you enjoy being out and about, meeting people, and providing excellent customer service this job could be for you! One of London’s largest corporate serviced apartment providers is seeking an enthusiastic go getter, for a challenging but varied Arrival Coordinator Role. Responsibilities range from welcoming guests & minor maintenance to general concierge duties.

Interested? Email us at: careers@Portlandbrown.com

JOIN OUR TEAM AT THE HOME OF CRICKET

Looking for work? Harvest workers, experienced milkers, fencers, tractor drivers and all farm staff.

Marylebone Cricket Club, based at the iconic Lord’s Ground, is currently recruiting casual catering workers for the 2015 season. CAS UA L R O L E S AVA IL A B L E WAITING STAFF BAR STAFF KIOSK ASSISTANTS

PORTERS CHEFS MANAGERS

HOW TO A PPLY Please go to www.justjobs.co.uk/lords to apply online and explain how you would knock us for six! You must be 18 years or over to apply, and be able to demonstrate your eligibility to work in the UK. The Club is an equal opportunities employer.

EVENT CREW GALLOWGLASS CREWING is looking to bolster its labour force for some exciting large projects in Live Events, Sports Events and Fit Outs. Are you friendly, enthusiastic, physically very fit with excellent spoken English and a “can do attitude” - then you should be working for Europe’s largest crewing company. The work will be in London and you must live within easy commuting distance of central London. Our work is 24/7 so be prepared for anti-social hours but you will be with a great team! We are looking for full time (starting from £8.80) and part time (starting from £8.00) with the potential to earn up to £15.00 per hour. Higher rates for plant operators. Send your CV to hr@gallowglass.com or better still complete the on-line form at www.gallowglass.com We are also looking for event technicians to add to our database – please send in your CV.

ARE YOU JOB HUNTING? Visit tntjobs.co.uk for vacant positions in all industries across the UK, Australia and New Zealand. At tntjobs. co.uk you’ll find out how to land your perfect job, an A-Z list of employers, job alerts, career news and information, visa advice and details of recruiters.

Solving your recruitment problems!

JOBS.CO.UK

The

TABLE & POLE DANCING NIGHTCLUBS & LATE NIGHT BARS

Come and join our family! H Why not become a Table Dancer on the nights that suit you best, with great potential earnings. H Secrets London Table Dancing Clubs & The Gaslight of St James’s are looking to add to their team of beautiful Table Dancers. H You will be supported by the best people in the business, who provide training and free pole dancing lessons but, more importantly, we care about our Dancers like ‘family’, and always try to look after them. H For a “no obligation” chat call Cora or Sam on 020 8563 7974 between 10am - 6pm Monday to Friday. H Temporary Accomodation may be available. We really look forward to hearing from you H As featutured in The Sun, Star and Express newspapers Bianca Gascoigne now manages our St James’s venue H

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DESPERATELYSEEKING

@tntmagazine

Are you desperately seeking someone or something? Email caroline.garnar@tntmagazine.com with your message

SAY WHAT?! She had a really sexy body but a face like a troll. I rooted her - but made sure it was from behind the whole time.

Prrretty please: I had never heard the expression ‘the cat’s pyjamas’ before, and got really excited when I thought they were an actual thing. Now I just have to get a pair for my pet cat – any ideas where I can buy some from? Wedding smasher: So I know

meal out of it and I will probably suck you off – I do that when I get drunk. Any takers? Single minded: So I’m in a relationship of five years and I think my girlfriend is expecting me to propose, but I am planning on finishing it. How do I tell

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

if i close my eyes when i eat this brownie, do you think my hips won’t notice i’ve eaten it?

‘ooh this warm weather is positively spring-like’ ‘oh do fuck off’

apparently i said ‘i don’t know how to send a fax’ in my sleep last night. to be fair, i don’t.

we really want to open a scotch egg theme park. it will be called ‘great scotch’ and have a sausage rollercoaster. that’s all we’ve got so far...

‘so, how much is this?’ said in the 99p shop.

i’m pretty sure i used to be a black rapper in a past life, which is why i have such an affinity for the rhyme.

i must stop buying myself early birthday presents. but who else is going to?

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Celebrate another royal at Amsterdam’s King’s Day. Very fetching, ma’am.

this is very rom-com of me, but I need a guy to be my date at my mum’s wedding. She thinks I’ve been dating a guy called Paul for a year. You need to have brown hair and blue eyes and be 6ft5. I can’t pay you but you will get a free

her? Perhaps through this? Tara Greenworth, if you’re reading this, it’s about you – sorry! Bringing sexy back: You were wearing one of those tops that’s cut right to the waist at the back and it turned me on big time.

You’ve got a scripture tattoo on your lower back but I never got close enough to see what it said. Can I? Feeling flush-tered: I have a confession to make. I went for a poo after a one-night stand and his toilet wouldn’t flush. Classic. So I wrapped my poo up in loo roll and put it in my bag. We ended up going to the cinema and I had it the whole time – I could even smell it. Anyway, I left it on the cinema floor, so I just wanted to say I’m sorry to the cleaners! Christ alive: I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is Jesus reincarnated. He sleeps in the crucifix position, has long hair and beard, wears sandals and only eats bread and fish. He never bloody turns my water into wine, though. Bastard. Flat line: I’m about to rent a room in a house where the person who last rented it died. In the bed. Feeling really creeped out about it but the rent’s really cheap. Maybe I should at least buy a new mattress? Mystic pizza: I’m pretty sure I can tell people’s fortunes using grated cheese. I get them to throw it on the table and I read the way the cheese has landed – I just see shapes and words. So far I have done it on one person and got nearly everything (around 20%) right. Spooky, eh? Time to blow: Babe, I have gone down on you five times now and you are yet to return the favour. Seriously, if you don’t give me a blowy soon, it’s time to kiss this dick goodbye. Good neigbours: Just want to apologise to my boyfriend’s neighbours. We heard you have sex for the first time in six months the other day, which made us realise how thin the walls are. You must hear us ALL the time. Sorry! Message in a bottle: I sent a bottle of champagne over to your table and you didn’t even acknowledge me. Snobby bitch. Okay it was the cheap brand, but still, that cost me a day’s wages. I hope you choked on it.

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