1592 by TNT Magazine

March 2015Issue Issue1592 1591tntmagazine.com tntmagazine.com April 2015

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FROM TOP 5 ARMIDALE TRAIN TO THE APPRENTICE JOURNEYS Mark Wright Why fly whenshows you can expats howworld it’s done watch the go by?

INDUSTRY SH *T JUST CONFESSIONS GOT WEIRD From porn to propositions, This year’s most goes on at work what really unusual festivals

! P I R ! T A D N I A T O R A R M E O AMT SULM

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Let’s face it, we’re all just adult-sized children. We still love food fights, going on adventures, and dancing like crazy fools. This issue is a celebration of that, starting of course with the biggest food fight in the world, La Tomatina. Have a toddler-esque ‘I don’t waaaaant to eat a tomato!’ tantrum and throw said tomato instead. Although be prepared, these parents fight back, and there’s 14,999 of them. To find out more about becoming a human bruschetta, turn to page 48. If you were the kind of kid who constantly came home with scraped knees and covered in mud, then you should turn to page 24, where we speak to four people who have gone from climbing trees to mountains, from catching spiders to crocs, and from squeezing through next door’s fence to exploring remote territories around the world. They certainly don’t have your average day job... but then, who does? Over on page 16 we discover that even bus drivers, journalists and nannies have their fair share of adventures, as we get them and others to spill the beans on their professions. As for dancing like a crazy fool, there’s nowhere better to do this than at festivals, and one of our favourites is Bilbao BBK. Turn to page 52 to find out more and read our writer’s report on 2014’s fest. Indeed, just like her childhood self, she spent the whole time leaping about high on sugar (at least she assures us that’s what it was). I loved building dens as a kid, and so I read the article on page 42 with envy, where our writer built a teepee in the woods as part of a wilderness weekend in Wiltshire. I wasn’t so jealous of the hole-in-the ground toilet, though... For something a bit more glamourous, you can enjoy exotic Thailand (p66), go for old-school luxury travel on an epic train journey (p38), people watch in Moscow (p58), or glug wine and scoff cheese in France (p62). No matter what you do, let out your inner child. It’s cruel to keep them locked up.

caroline.garnar@tntmagazine.com

UK festivals

Swiss Alps in summer

South America

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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THIS MONTH LONDON DIARY 8 LONDON INSIDER

TNT NEWS

DRINK 15

INDUSTRY CONFESSIONS 16

Interview Hub

FOOD 14

TRAVEL SHOW PICS 20 AMAZING ADVENTURERS 24 CHATROOM

LOCAL SPORT REPORT

TRAVEL TRAVEL NEWS 36

La Tomatina

UK TRIP: WILD WEEKEND 42

Jocelyn Low

TOP 5: TRAIN JOURNEYS 38

FEST GUIDE: TOMATINA 48 EURO TRIP: BILBAO BBK 52

ON THE COVER

WEEKENDER: MOSCOW

INDUSTRY CONFESSIONS

LATE DEALS 60

SIR RANULPH FIENNES

HOTSHOTS 61

And three more amazing adventurers

A GUIDE TO: FRANCE

TOP 5 TRAIN JOURNEYS

BIG TRIP: THAILAND & BURMA 66 TRAVEL TIPS

LIVING: MARATHON TIPS

CLASSIFIEDS 81 DESPERATELY SEEKING 82 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

WILDERNESS WEEKEND

Go all Bear Grylls in, er, Wiltshire

Get red in the face at this epic food fight

CAREERS: FARM WORK

Why fly? Watch the world go by...

LA TOMATINA!

LIFESTYLE

What really goes on when you’re at work

BILBAO BENDER

We dance like loons at our favourite fest

TRY THAILAND...

And Burma with this tale of two countries

trips for 18 to 30 somethings

Europe + North America + Egypt, Middle East & Morocco + Africa + Australia & New Zealand + Festivals & Events Europe + North America + Egypt, Middle East & Morocco + Africa + Australia & New Zealand + Festivals & Events

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THIS MONTH’S TOP PICKS SPANK!

SEX IN THE PAN

April 3

This raunchy burlesque show presented by Proud Caberet Camden boasts an explicit variety of performances to both shock and entertain. Enjoy dinner and a show while discovering what dastardly deeds Camden gets up to at night…

This pop-up supper club offers you Nordic and Italian dining, set to live background music, with bubbles and a cocktail to start. From sex in a pan to sex on your plate, to wherever else it may find itself, this is one dining experience not to miss.

7pm The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Road, Camden, NW1 8AH Camden Town proudcamden.com

7pm Palm 2, 152-156 Lower Clapton Rd, E5 0QJ Hackney Central designmynight.com

£44

£60

THIS MONTH’S MUST-DO UDDERBELLY FESTIVAL 2015 April 9-July 19 Spend your afternoons in greener pastures beneath the shade of an upside down cow looking out over the Thames. Take your pick of circus, cabaret and comedy acts such as Arthur Smith, Brendon Burns, Frisky and Mannish, and Friday Night Freaks at this udderly unmissable festival.

£11+

Brendon Burns may or may not wear trousers at his Udderbelly show

BALLS TO DATING PING-PONG PARTY April 5

Southbank, SE1 8XX

THE CANDLELIGHT CLUB April 10 & 24

Waterloo

udderbelly.co.uk

SHH DATING AT THE JAM TREE

HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS

April 15

April 18

invites London’s sick-of-love singletons to a tournament of round robin ping-pong. Learn more about your partner in five minutes of hitting a ball at them than you would in a three-hour dinner, while having much more fun!

In the classic style of speakeasies, the location of this pop-up club is a secret. At least until a few days before the event. In the midst of cocktails and jazz, adorn your slickest 1920’s fedoras and feathery headdresses and enjoy the chilled atmosphere.

dating event sets out to prove that love really can happen at first sight. Prepare to flutter your eyelashes, flip your hair, and flash your best Blue Steel, as you set aside boring old small talk for the evening and let body language say it all.

renowned basketball stars are back in London to supply another hit of their trick shots and slapstick comedy. Up against the Washington Generals, this is the most exciting sporting tour for people who don’t get excited over sports.

7.30pm 121 Holborn, London, EC1N 2TD Chancery Lane doingsomething.co.uk

7pm Secret venue Varies thecandlelightclub.com

7pm L13-19 Old Town, SW4 0JT Clapham Common shhhdating.com

7.30pm SSE Arena, Wembley, HA9 0DW Wembley Park & Wembley Central axs.com/uk/events/

£12+ This anti-dating party

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£20

£20 This silent speed-

£21+ The internationally

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PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

Words: Mariah Mathews. Photos: Wikipedia

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THE TWEED RUN

SATURDAY 15 AUGUST

BEXHILL DE LA WARR PAVILION

April 18

London’s most stylish annual bike ride has their tweed-clad cyclists pedalling into the 1920s. Dust off your bowties and tweed suits and take an afternoon ride through the city, then stay for cocktails, live music, DJ’s and the awards ceremony come nightfall. £25

Trafalgar Square

Charing Cross

tweedrun.com

WEDNESDAY 26 AUGUST

LONDON O2 SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE TICKETWEB.CO.UK GIGSANDTOURS.COM TICKETMASTER.CO.UK JOHNBUTLERTRIO.COM A METROPOLIS MUSIC PRESENTATION BY ARRANGEMENT WITH CAA

Tuesday 16th - Saturday 20th June 2015

R AC I N G LIKE NOWH E R E E L SE Secure your place at this one of a kind event by booking your tickets at ascot.co.uk Tickets £19 - £78 per person* Fine Dining from £250 per person +VAT

*If purchased before 31st March 2015

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Jimmy Carr: offering laughs as big as his face

Put your hands up 4 Detroit with Fedde Le Grand

COMEDY NIGHTS

EXHIBITIONS

THEATRE

MUSICAL COMEDY AWARDS APRIL 10 / 8PM / £16.50 The Musical Comedy Awards host their 7th final. Having featured Flight of the Conchords and Frisky and Mannish in previous years, it’s bound to showcase some up-and-coming gems.

PICK ME UP 2015 APRIL 23-MAY 4 / £8+ Watch debates, demonstrations and presentations, then witness the creative processes at this graphic art event.

SWEENEY TODD UNTIL MAY 16 / £30-£47.50 The vengeful Victorian barber takes up residence in a pie and mash shop where you can grab a pre-show bite – if you dare!

Embankment Galleries

Harrington’s Pie and Mash Shop

Bloomsbury Theatre

Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA

15 Gordon Street, Bloomsbury, WC1H 0AH Euston Square

Hackney Attic

UNTITLED APRIL 24-MAY 25 / FREE Painter Ryan Hewett’s debut European solo exhibition showcases the past and present iconic leaders and how, for better or worse, they’ve shaped our world today. The Unit London

270 Mare Street, E8 1HE

Hackney Central

museumofcomedy.com

JIMMY CARR: FUNNY BUSINESS APRIL 24-25 / 8PM / £26 Taking a break from being in every second comedy talk show, Jimmy Carr is back on the road with observational comedy and knob jokes. Eventim Apollo Hammersmith 45 Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH

somersethouse.org.uk

Shaftesbury Avenue W1D 6LA Square

Leicester

delfontmackintosh.co.uk

musicalcomedy.co.uk

10 FILMS WITH MY DAD APRIL 23 / 8PM / £5 Aiden Goatley dissects his relationship with his father by looking at how watching films together taught them how to communicate.

Hammersmith

Temple

jimmycarr.com

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Vaudeville Strand WC2R 0NH

9 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LL Leicester Square

OPPENHEIMER UNTIL MAY 23 / £25-£49.50+ Exciting new fact-based drama about the physicist who spearheaded the race to create a weapon to end all wars. Charing Cross

rsc.org.uk/whats-on/oppenheimer/

theunitldn.com

WHAT IS LUXURY? APRIL 25-SEP 27 / FREE This collection of contemporary pieces illustrate a new take on what constitutes luxury.

GYPSY UNTIL JULY 18 / £19.50-£69.50 Imelda Staunton shines as indomitable Momma Rose seeking fame and fortune for her daughters in this 1959 Broadway classic.

Victoria and Albert Museum

Savoy

Cromwell Road, London SW7 2RL

The Strand, WC2R 0ET

South Kensington

Charing Cross

vam.ac.uk/whatisluxury

gypsythemusical.uk

Photos: Supplied, Uli Weber, iStock

Imelda Staunton shines in Gypsy

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CLUB NIGHTS

GIGS

DJ MAG SESSIONS: EASTER THURSDAY SPECIAL APRIL 2 / 11PM / £15+ Hosted by DJ Mag, dance along to Canadian House duo Art Department, alongside Mark Jenkyns, and DJ Mag Allstars in their nine-hour Easter special.

THE WOMBATS APRIL 13 / 7PM / £22.50+ These indie-rockers are back on tour with the new release of their third studio album ‘Glitterbug’. Following their acclaimed album, ‘This Modern Glitch’, the boys are sure to keep our heads a-bangin’ and feet a-dancin’ with this highly-anticipated release.

Egg London 200 York Way, N7 9AX

02 Brixton Academy

Kings Cross and St Pancras

211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL

residentadvisor.net/dj/artdepartment

o2academybrixton.co.uk

Brixton

They may look like they’re practising in their garage, but these are The Wombats

St Vincent: aka singer/songwriter Annie Clark THE GALLERY: FEDDE LE GRAND APRIL 3 / 10.30PM / £16+ Prepare yourself for a night of putting your hands up 4 Detroit with our favourite Dutch house DJ. Supported by Patrick Hagenaar, this is sure to be a night of good times and throw backs to 2006. Ministry of Sound and Castle

PAUL SIMON & STING APRIL 15-16 / 6.30PM / £45+ After performing together for the first time in 2013, two of music’s most prolific artists are at it again with their tour “On Stage Together”. O2 Arena Millenium Way, Greenwich, SE10 0DX

103 Gaunt Street, SE1 6DP

Elephant

North Greenwich

theo2.co.uk

feddelegrand.com/shows

GROOVE ODYSSEY: LOUIE VEGA APRIL 5 / 10PM / £18+ Dance your way into the public holiday with eight hours of house. Louie Vega heads with support including Atjazz, Phil Asher, CJ Mackintosh.

BEN HOWARD APRIL 16-18 / 6.30PM / £28.50+ Supporting his most recent album ‘I Forget Where We Were’, the London-born singersongwriter is dusting off the ol’ guitar in another attempt to teach our cold hearts how to love.

Ministry of Sound

Alexandra Palace

103 Gaunt street, SE1 6DP and Castle station

Elephant

grooveodyssey.com

Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY Wood Green, Finsbury Park alexandrapalace.com/whats-on/

HALF BAKED EASTER WEEKEND SPECIAL APRIL 5 / 4PM / £20+ Easter a little differently with a 15-hour marathon of house and techno music. It’s sure to be an unforgettable night that you might very well not remember.

MATTHEW E WHITE APRIL 20-21 / 7.30PM / £15 US artist White is in the UK supporting his recent album release ‘Fresh Blood’. Following the success of his debut solo album ‘Big Inner’, this is sure to be a promising follow-up.

Studio 338

Village Underground

338 Boord Street, Greenwich, SE10 OPF North Greenwich

WATCH THIS

residentadvisor.net

54 Holywell Lane, EC2A 3PQ Highstreet

BEAUTIFUL – THE CAROLE KING STORY Carole King’s personal life (or at least what we’re told of it) doesn’t come across as particularly exciting in this juke-box bio-musical which has already proved a success on Broadway. But writer Douglas McGrath neatly incorporates fulllength versions of a selection of her hits, plus snippets of several other chart–toppers of the era – not to mention songs penned by friends and competitive fellow writing team Cynthia Weil (a lively Lorna Want) and Barry Mann. With Gerry Goffin (her teenage love who became her moody, philandering first husband), Brooklyn-raised King was responsible for hits recorded by the Shirelles (‘Will You Love Me Tomorrow’) and The Drifters (‘Up on the Roof’), while Mann and Weil were the creative duo behind ‘On Broadway’ and ‘You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling.’ As the multi-award-winning King, Katie Brayben makes the most of a thinly sketched character, blossoming from talented teenager to radiant solo star playing Carnegie Hall and, by the time the curtain falls, those great songs make one very glad indeed that she refused to follow the advice of a concerned mother who thought she’d be far better off becoming a teacher. By Louise Kingsley £15-£69.50 + premium seats

Shoreditch

beautifulinlondon.co.uk

villageunderground.co.uk

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IN ASSOCIATION WITH

My sleeves are rolled up, my apron is askew, and this cute east London canal-side kitchen is absolutely coated in cocoa. My hands are sticky and I’m pretty sure there is chocolate smeared on my face, and sure enough I’m grinning like a kid in a sweet shop. Or, more specifically, like a grown-up at a chocolate-making workshop. Six chocolate truffles are boxed up, neat and perfect. Some are traditionally dusted with cocoa powder, while others have a coating of nutty sprinkles or are topped with an elegant white chocolate whirl. On the counter, though, is the ‘practice’ batch. Equally delicious, these are misshapen, lumpy and haphazardly splattered with whatever coconut sprinkle, strawberry curl or marshmallow that came to hand. I may not be a master chocolatier just yet, but after two hours of stirring, nibbling and dipping, I’m seriously considering a change in vocation. Sophie, our smiley tutor, is a chocolate fountain of knowledge. She cheerily dishes out bitter – and frankly gross – pure cocoa beans while sharing tales of Mayan chocolate kings and European explorers. She explains the balancing act of flavours and the complexities of tempering as we taste-test lemon and poppy-seed white chocolate and a rich ginger and cardamom morsel; purely for educational purposes, of course.

Image: Stephanie Palmer

Chocolate-making workshop

When we stop learning and get creative, there is ganache to be stirred and moulded, and a collective gasp of horror as Sophie plops her perfect truffle in to a pot of molten dark chocolate. Pretty soon we’re all at it, though, dipping, rescuing, and rolling in cocoa powder. I sprinkle, drizzle, stencil and slice until I’m left with a mish-mash of treats, and a pretty grubby face. Those six pretty ones in the box? They’re a gift for the boyfriend waiting patiently at home, but the 15-or-so that didn’t make the cut? Well. I earned them. By Stephanie Palmer £49. 10c Branch Place, London, N1 5PH

mychocolate.co.uk

MYLONDON When I want to chill out I… Hit the sofa with a glass of wine and some easy watching reality TV, like The Great British Bake Off. The most interesting person I’ve met in London is… I recently saw Dr Christian at a party…I don’t think it gets much more interesting than Embarrassing Bodies! My favourite spot to take visitors is… Up the Heron Tower at night for fantastic views.

My favourite spot in London is… It’s always nice to escape to some green space when you can’t get out of the city, so I would say Hyde Park. My perfect weekend in London would be… Starting the day with a healthy breakfast of Cuckoo Bircher muesli, then see what is going on at the Tate. Next I’d hit some shops on Regent Street then wander in to Soho for some cocktails. What I love most about London is… The eclectic mix of areas which all have their own character and vibe – there’s aways something new you can explore! Five words that sum up London are… Happening, energetic, beautiful, full of character, diverse. cuckoofoods.co.uk

My favourite place for dinner is… Yauatcha (on Broadwick Street, Soho). When you’re hungover in London you can’t beat… Going to Maltby Market and indulging in all the amazing food!

ANNA MACKENZIE CO-FOUNDER OF CUCKOO BIRCHER MUESLI 12

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THUMBS DOWN: TOURISTS FACE BIG FINES FOR VANDALISING COLOSSEUM Two American women could face hefty fines after they were caught carving their names into Rome’s historic Colosseum before posing for a selfie. The Californian tourists – aged 21 and 25 – displayed a lack of decorum near the forum as they snuck away from their tour group and began scratching their initials into the Roman amphitheatre with a coin. They inscribed a ‘J’ and an ‘N’ in 8cmhigh lettering, and also took a selfie with their handiwork before they were bust by Italian police who looked daggers and Caesared them. The Colosseum was completed in AD80, and in its heyday hosted around 73,000 spectators who enjoyed gruesome spectacles including gladiatorial fights to the death and the mass slaughter of thousands of animals. It subsequently fell into disrepair and was at one point quarried for its stone. The ancient monument nowadays attracts around six million visitors a year and is widely regarded as one of the greatest feats of architecture and engineering in the world. Defacing the walls is strictly forbidden, and the vast majority of visitors abide by the rules. The section vandalised by the two women only dates back to the 1800s – when the pope initiated restoration work – but that is unlikely to serve as an excuse. The tourists issued a statement to La Stampa newspaper in which they said: “We apologise for what we did. We regret it, but we did not imagine it was so serious. We’ll remember for a lifetime.” They could be paying for a lifetime if the experience of one Russian tourist last November is anything to go by. The 42-year-old was handed a four-month suspended prison sentence and a Coloss-al 20,000 euro fine after he was caught carving a 25cm letter into the amphitheatre. The culprit has yet to the pay the fine due to a lack of funds – we suspect because he’d already treated himself to an over-priced ice cream in the Italian capital. The Russian was the fifth person to have his collar felt for defacing the Colosseum last year – earlier incidents involved an Australian father and son, and Canadian and Brazilian teenagers.

Images: iStock. Words: Trevor Burton and Kaye Holland

SNOW GOOD! SKIERS SCUPPERED BY 800-MILE SAT-NAV BLUNDER An embarrassed coach driver took a group of 50 skiers and snowboarders on an 800-mile detour after setting his sat-nav incorrectly. The driver was supposed to be taking the holidaymakers from Belgium to the French resort of La Plagne, in the Alps. But he hit the slippery slope when he accidentally programmed his GPS to La Plagne in the Pyrenees – close to the Spanish border and around 400 miles south-west of his intended destination. He was almost in Toulouse by the time his amazed passengers pointed out the error when they woke up to the sight of Mediterranean-esqe vineyards when they gazed through the coach windows. “There are three entries for La Plagne in France, and I selected the wrong one,” the driver told Studio Brussel, a Belgian radio station whose parent company had organised the holiday for its listeners. The coach eventually arrived at the ski resort 24 hours late. Happily most of the passengers took the unexpected diversion in good spirit, and they were greeted with a meal of Spanish tapas courtesy of Studio Brussel. One passenger, Sven Ceuppens, told the BBC: “We had a hard time convincing the driver he was going to Spain and had a few laughs. It was a sleeper bus, so when I woke up at first light all I saw were vineyards. Nice, but very uncommon if you want to ski. Immediately we knew something was wrong, but it took a map of France to convince the driver to distrust the GPS.”

TNTNEWS POODUNNIT? PUNGENT TURD FORCES BA FLIGHT TO TURN BACK

A British Airways flight was forced to land when the nauseating stench of a smelly poo in one of the toilets left passengers gasping for fresh air. The offensive discharge was deposited shortly after take-off on the sevenhour flight from Heathrow to Dubai. Cabin crew tried valiantly to deal with the overpowering pong caused by the festering turd as the plane headed over Belgium. But their efforts to nullify the terror tom-tit were in vain, and just 30 minutes into the flight the captain told passengers he was heading back to Heathrow. Abhishek Sachdev, a Hertfordshirebased borough councillor who was luckily seated some way from the toilet in question, told the Mail Online: “The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd. About 10 minutes later he said you may have noticed there’s a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets. He said it was liquid faecal excremental – those are the words he used.” Passengers were then told that the plane would be returning to England for health and safety reasons. Their threehour wait for another plane eventually turned into a 15-hour delay. A British Airways spokesman told the Welwyn Hatfield Times: “We’re very sorry for the discomfort to our customers. We provided them with hotel accommodation and rescheduled the flight to depart the following day’s lunchtime on an alternative aircraft.” It is understood that no one has come forward to claim responsibility for the evil evacuation. We hope the culprit stocked up on Imodium before re-boarding though.

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BITE SIZE

XXXXXX

EASTER SPECIALS

GET HIGH ON CHOCOLATE Take XXXXX your love of chocolate to new

heights by tucking into Hotel Chocolat Xxxxxxxx treats while taking a ride on the London [web] Eye. Just to name a few of the treats a ticket will get you, enjoy two rotations on the London Eye, two XXXXX glasses of Prosecco, a Hotel Chocolat Xxxxxxxx goodie bag and an expert to guide you through [web] the tasting. Dates throughout April, tickets £50pp.

XXXXX londoneye.com Xxxxxxxx

ADD SOME RUSSIAN TO YOUR BUNS [web] t For something a little different this Easter, sister restaurants Rabbit and The Shed are offering diners the opportunity to sample the traditional Russian Easter delicacy, pashka. Made with tvorog, egg custard, vanilla, almonds and raisins, this festive dish is served alongside our English favourite of hot cross buns from April 3-6. rabbit-restaurant.com / theshed-restaurant.com

FARR’S SCHOOL OF DINNERS British pub grub served with a twist (and it goes like this...)

Dinner and dancing go together like love and marriage – and a horse and carriage come to think of it. And, although Farr’s School of Dancing isn’t actually a dance school – it’s a pub – it does hold dance events, and now serves dinner, so there you go. Named Farr’s School of Dinners, naturally, the new kitchen is the work of The Clapton Heart’s manager Charlie Beety and its head chef Brez Barwise. As for decor, expect mismatching chairs and tables, red velvet booths, 70s-style wallpaper and old-school knick knacks including telephones and radios. THE GRUB The philosophy here is to use fresh, seasonal produce to create oldfashioned British pub food, but with a modern touch. The menu includes cheese and meat boards with all the trimmings. Mains pay homage to all the traditional favourites – the Chippy Tea includes a generous chunk of Coley fish, which is cooked in a salt and vinegar batter and served on a bed of ‘boozy’ mushy peas (they’ve got a unique, albeit subtle, beer taste to them) with hand-cut chips. Farr’s School of Dinners has re-imagined the humble risotto, too. It is made using pearl barley rather than Arborio rice,which makes for a unique texture, and it’s topped with a lemon and herb roasted chicken breast. Other menu winners include pork sausages with mash and gravy, a sweet potato and kale hash, and pie of the day, which is served with mash or hand-cut chips and gravy. Desserts are like a trip down memory lane with jam roly poly and custard and even a whole ice cream van, well... that’s what is says on the menu. BEHIND THE BAR: Being a pub, Farr’s School of Dancing prides itself on its beer offering. Here you’ll find local and international brews on tap right through to bottled options including Sol and Rekoderlig. BILL PLEASE: Platters start at £8, mains range between £6.50 and £9, desserts from £3.50. Beers are from £1.70 for a bottle or £3.80 for draught; wine from £3.20. VERDICT: The kitchen is a great addition to this neighbourhood pub, and is sure to make it all-the-more popular. THE SCENE

Photos: supplied. Words: Mariah Mathews

MAKING HOT CROSS COOL Snowflake Luxury Gelato has added a brand new delight to its menu for Easter, the hot cross gelato bun. Customise your own bun by choosing one of over 50 luxurious gelato and sorbetto flavours to fill it with. Available April 7-21, share a picture on Twitter @SnowflakeGelato and Instagram to show how you eat yours (warning: it’ll be messy). snowflakegelato.co.uk

17-19 Dalston Lane, E8 3DF

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RUM & SUGAR cash saVers

how You spEnd iT

Trendy cocktail bar in listed rum warehouse, Docklands

keiSha herBert, 24

Dreams come brew

Among red brick and wood beams, perched at an upturned barrel and We all know that JoB Market researcher talking in hushed tones under dim lighting, I could be in a rough and ready bar of pounding headache from FroM Leeds the Victorian docklands. That is, until my speciality cocktail arrives,LiveS complete withGreen too much cheap bubbly Bethnal a the slicenight of kiwi fruit and topped with an entire flower. And then there’s the small before. Well matter of the madly shiny Part thebudget? this year your dream ofCanary Wharf looming just over the canal. How doof you Museum I’m in a Grade 1 listed warehouse once used as storage for, expenses and wakingof upLondon, hangover-free After monthly canguessed become reality adding a bit to my savings, you it,arum and with sugar. The bartenders are down-to-earth and know their 50%and offwill a stellar bottle I try toHappy set myself a weekly stuff, even grab lucky drinkers for impromptu mixology lessons. of champagne. Usually amount. hours, live music and ‘rum Wednesdays’ ensure that even the officespending folk in ties and It can be costing difficult when some weeks heels will £29.75, let their Heidsieck hair down – especially when there’s this much rum involved. Blue Top is £15 a pop at are busier than others, but BEHIND THE BAR The team holds competitions among themselves to get their own Asda. Or you can opt for a I always try to go with the rum-based inventions on the specials menu, so there’s always a handful of bottle of ‘I heart Prosecco’ cheapest options. completely drinks to choose from. They could feature Chambord and for £9.99 original from Budgens, chocolate syrup or Kahlua dash rum,any tips for Tesco.com, Rhythm & and pistachio milk – each with a healthyDo youofhave ofBooze course.orThese guys also promise that if you name any cocktail, they can create Londis. saving money ain London? rum version. I can vouch for the Cosmopoli-rum, although I may have I tryto totaste take one my own lunch a Fighting chance into work but I don’t always more, just to be certain. The origins of thefrom £7.50 to £12, and fancy shots come in at five manage that. A Taste Card BILL PLEASE Cocktails for £15. term ‘Boxing Day’ are VERDICT If you love rum, you’ll love it here. Plus, you get to take the DLR home. undecided, but we all Front seat. Evening made. THE SCENE

is really good for getting discounts at restaurants. Last big blow-out? I went to a second-hand clothes fair last month. Instead of leaving with a few cheap bargains, I ended up spending a lot more money than I imagined! I spent the last week of that month on a very small budget. What non-essential items do you spend money on? Each month I get something new to refresh my wardrobe. And if there’s a special occasion, that’s another excuse to hit the shops.

how ThEY spEnd iT

snap it up Do some celeb stalking at super-star hangout Gilgamesh in Camden. The famous restaurant is offering 50% off its £55 set menu through December. Just try not to tussle with the 3 OF THEpaps BEST professional outside, waiting for a star spot. See lastminute.com CHOCCIE TREATS

West India Quay

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BROWNIE POINTS The brownies at Gail’s Artesian Bakery are made with rich Valrhona chocolate and scattered with pecans. Big, square and filling, you’ll want to share with your loved ones. Just kidding. Defend to the death with your fork. gailsbread.co.uk/bakeries Beckham the big spender

Spend it like Beckham

You know when you buy a fancy new toy and don’t know where to keep it? David Beckham faced this conundrum when he bought a Miami football team for £16 million but couldn’t find a stadium for them. So he’s building one...

❚ At least Beckham has earned his ridiculous fortune honestly – his old Manchester United, Iteam, DO D-ECLAIR are the most valuable sports At La Pâtisserie des Rêves we club in the world, clocking have the Holy Grail of in atfound £1.4 billion. éclairs. Fluffy choux pastry filled with acan richget chocolate❚ Nothing in the way of business for J-Lo and expraline cream, topped husband Marc Anthony. The with hazelnut streusel, divorced pair co-own and encased in still a tubular the Miami Dolphins. chocolate shell. Yum. Looks like a sports team is for life, lapatisseriedesreves.com/en not just for Christmas.

Do more Spend less

❚ Basketball team Chicago Sky never have a problem finding someone to sing the national anthem given CHEERY CHURROS that former Destiny’s Child Watch your churros member, Michellebeing Williams, freshly at the Brazilian ownsmade a share of the club. Churros stall at Greenwich or❚ Camden Lock Market. Former basketball star Magic Johnson wasyour part of Uniquely hollow, fill a £1.2billion to buy the cinnamon and deal sugar-coated bankrupt Dodgers. That’s churro with LA dulce de leche or a hefty price forchocolate. a team with oozing brigadier no money. Sounds like he Facebook: Brazilian Churros may have missed a trick.

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Words: Mariah Mathews. Images: Supplied and Facebook

Photos: supplied and Getty. Words: Rachael Getzels

know it’s due to the punches that are thrown No.1 Warehouse, West India Quay, E14 4AL as eager shoppers try to get the best deals on - the first day of major nationwide sales. Oxford Street will be prime territory with up to 70% off all high street brands. Get ready to rumble.

Photos: iStock and supplied

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Industry From having sex in the boardroom to fending off ‘chuckle fuckers’ – these workers fess up about what really goes on behind the scenes at their job... WORDS ANNA TSEKOURAS

Liz Brett: Consultant from Sydney, Australia “There is something about that kind of power, influence and money. And admittedly, it can get the better of us.” “Working in the energy sector means I am used to being the only woman in the room who isn’t a secretary or someone taking notes. The older the men, the more they treat you like an idiot, a child or a play thing. “My last project was worth £2.5 billion. After we had finished, I went for a drink with an old boss – a mentor and a really lovely family man. We were actually talking about his wife when he placed his hand high up on my thigh and suggested I go up to his hotel room so he could show me the view and maybe we could ‘do something naughty’. I jumped up, said I needed to get the last tube, and ran out. “There is something about that kind of power, influence and money. And admittedly, it can get the better of us. After our last project got approved, our boss opened up a bottle of illegal, 70 over-proof bootlegged Irish ‘spirit’ and everyone did shots out of a skull glass. And I admit there was one time I had sex with a co-worker in the boardroom…” Jan Flac: PR from London, UK “I’ve met a range of celebs from 50 Cent, Far East Movement, Ed Sheeran, P Diddy and countless TV personalities, football players and athletes.” “I work for various high-profile London clubs in the West End and Chelsea. Discretion is key. Girls often try to flirt with me to meet celebrities, get into the most exclusive clubs and party with table spenders. “Meeting celebrities is just part of the job. I usually engage in some light banter and maybe take a picture together. I’ve met a range of celebs from 50 Cent, Far East Movement, Ed

Sheeran, P Diddy and countless TV personalities, football players and athletes. “Lindsey Lohan rented a separate room in the club for a couple of her friends to practice her DJ skills. The club’s staff gave her some instructions and she invited a couple of us to join in and dance with her, which was very sweet. “Of course, there are times when you can catch a celebrity on a bad day. I asked one particular celebrity to take a picture together for some of my friends and I was shocked at how harshly I was rejected. Later on, I realised that person might’ve been under influence of some weird substances… “The strangest part of my job is that I need to sell alcohol as a part of the entertainment – even though I don’t drink myself. When Far East Movement came to one of the club nights, they let me hang out with them, which was amazing! But at one point one of the band members poured a lot of vodka into my glass. I was so embarrassed when I was forced to politely explain that I don’t drink and excuse myself. The whole crew just stared at me aghast.” Alex Lewis: London bus driver from London, UK “We see it all. Passengers get up to all kinds of things on the top deck.” “I’ve been driving buses for five years. And no, we are not all grumpy. Put yourself in our shoes. With an average of 86 passengers board, only six will make eye contact, say thank you or even just say hello! In fact, most people look at the bus driver like we’re some sort of autonomous android. “I’ll never forget the passenger who gave me a bottle of champagne and £500 just for getting him to Waterloo five minutes early. “Being a bus driver is highly skilled – not everyone can do it. My company receives more than 500 applications ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

INDUSTRYCONFESSIONS Fending off chuckle fuckers is all in a day’s work for Marcus Ryan

every year and from that, only 30 will make it. “Some people just fancy a change in life. I have a physics degree and was stuck in the finance industry, making money but I was unhappy. We have ex-police, military, teachers, parttime mothers and students driving buses. Some of us sit as Magistrates in the Courts around London – so don’t think that we are all uneducated morons. “We see it all. Passengers get up to all kinds of things on the top deck. Especially on New Year’s Eve, when people can’t keep their hands off each other. When we have fights on board, women are much more violent than men and really go all out to hurt each other. Also, you’d be surprised to know how many parents leave their kids on board!” Marcus Ryan: Comedian from Victoria, Australia “The very first thing I do when I get off stage is immediately have sex with one of my back-up dancers.” “I get the same response from people when I tell them what I do. ‘Say something funny’, or, ‘You haven’t made me laugh yet’. It can get tedious, so I tend not to tell anyone anymore. Instead, I’ll try to practice new material by sneaking it into conversation, but most of my material is from random conversations I have. “We call the comedian groupies ‘chuckle-fuckers’. I have been stalked by fans before. One girl blatantly propositioned me and waited outside Edinburgh’s The Stand Comedy Club for hours after closing. My friends and I literally had to make a run for it. “The very first thing I do when I get off stage is immediately have sex with one of my back-up dancers. Actually, that was only when I was in Riverdance. Now, I usually just switch off my recording device, tick off the gags that didn’t work in my notebook and write down any new notes that popped up in the show. “I have the same backstage performance ritual before going on stage. I write out the set-list in a pocketbook. Even if I already know my routine by heart, I carry it in my back pocket – sort of like a safety blanket. Then I’ll finally get on stage and do something completely different when I get to the mic! 18

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Des Burkinshaw mingles with the rich and famous as a journalist

“Sometimes I’ll push a joke too far and just know that the audience isn’t ready for it. But I don’t get nervous anymore, so silence or a joke that bombs or hecklers don’t bother me like they used to.” Danielle Morley: Nanny from Wagga, Australia “He told me to come and sit on his lap and we could talk about the first thing that pops up!” “I’ve been a live-out nanny with for five-and-a-half years. The worst part is not finishing on time! If your boss is home late, you can’t just leave. The best part of the job is the kids. Once, after a trip to the park, we saw a homeless man asleep in the doorway. One of the children crept up to him, leaned into his face and screamed, “Raaahh!” The poor man got such a fright! I had to work overtime to suppress my laughter as I tried to scold them. “Another time, I was standing on a train platform. One of the kids said: “I like it between my legs, it keeps me nice and warm.” It took me a few seconds to realise she was referring to her school bag! “People often think I just get to sit around all day and watch daytime TV. But we work 10-12 hour days and rarely get a moment ourselves. The worst type of bosses are those who treat me like I am just ‘the help’. “On my first nanny job, the dad had a few glasses of wine. He told me to come and sit on his lap and we could talk about the first thing that pops up! And no, I did not sit on his lap!” Benjamin Victor: Theatre usher from London, UK “There have been so many times where I have been blamed personally for patrons not liking the show.” “We are not all failed or depressed actors. I’m actually a very happy actor! As an usher, you are privy to some people’s best and worst behavior. There have been so many times where I have been blamed personally for patrons not liking the show, or arriving late and not being allowed in. “Patrons get upset with me if they’ve mistakenly booked

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INDUSTRYCONFESSIONS

the wrong seats or have a bad view. One couple recently refused to sit down at all during the play because they were so incensed. They stood directly in front of a fire exit and I had to ask them to leave. “But then there are those unforgettable moments. On my first shift as an usher, after the bustling crowds had left I ended up at the cast party with the artistic director, the remaining cast and a handful of rather inebriated ushers, dancing and singing the night away – Year Six disco style – with the leading man on the DJ decks!”

Songwriter Danielle Senior has witnessed fights in the studio

Des Burkinshaw: Journalist from Luton, UK “Nothing can ever top the day I spent jamming with Paul McCartney at his studio in Rye.” “I come from a council estate, but I worked my way through the ranks of the media industry for 26 years – as a journalist for the BBC, The Times and producer of the ITV Chart Show and Glastonbury. The biggest perk of my job is the people I’ve met – but nothing can ever top the day I spent jamming with Paul McCartney at his studio in Rye. That was my schoolboy dream come true. “There are moments when you can get caught up and feel like a celebrity yourself. I’ll never forget when a hotel receptionist at the Beverly Hills Hotel called my suite in the middle of a filming session for the BBC to say: “Hi, is Miss Nancy Sinatra there? I’ve got a Miss Mia Farrow on the line for her.” I couldn’t relay the message because Miss Sinatra was in the bathroom, so I got told off by Mia Farrow. But when she found out I was from the BBC she became much more playful. I then had the opportunity to deliver a pretty good showbiz line myself, holding out the phone and announcing: “Nancy? I’ve got Mia Farrow on the line for you.” Danielle Senior: Songwriter, vocalist, and vocal producer from Devon, UK

Photos: iStock and supplied *These names have been changed

“Full on fights have erupted in the studio with artists I’ve worked with.” “I’ve been a professional songwriter for five years. The music industry is akin to a playground where the big kids decide who is cool and who’s not. Full on fights have erupted in the studio with artists I’ve worked with. Tensions can mount when you’re put under pressure to write a hit. “Sometimes the kind of persistence people show is not far from stalking. I’ve heard stories of A&R (Artists and Repertoire – in charge of scouting talent and overseeing the artistic development of artists and songwriters) literally ducking underneath their desks when they see a particularly ‘persistent’ producer or songwriter walk through the door. “Rock producer, Chris Tsangarides once told me that Linda Perry of the 4 Non Blondes called him day and night to try to get him to work with her. Now Linda Perry is one of the most successful producers in the world. It goes to show what people will do to make it in the industry.” Chris Harries*: Lawyer from Melbourne, Australia “As lawyers, we’re under huge pressure to know the answers – although I’ve seen my own bosses make it up as they go.”

“I never tell anyone I’m a lawyer. That means I’ll be stuck buying the drinks. If anyone says they’re happy earning minimum wage while living in London, then they’re lying. “I love what I do. Not just because of the money and prestige, but because I came from a small Australian town and now I’m working on international billion-dollar cases in London. I’ve come a long way from working my first $500 car crash case. “As lawyers, we’re under huge pressure to win cases, to know the answers – although I’ve seen my own bosses make it up as they go – to work 16-hour days and bill clients every possible minute of the day. We buy gifts for our wives and girlfriends to keep them happy while we put in long hours. No wonder we’re exhausted, irritable and why some people accuse us of having big egos.” Maria Kelley*: Market researcher from Canada “Little did I know I would gain confessions about watching porn on the bus!” “I’ve been in market research for 12 years. The biggest perk is we often get to keep the products that are tested in the focus groups. This often means dozens of boxes of biscuits, ice cream cones, coffee pods and baked goods. Some people are just looking to make some quick cash and will cheat the system by lying on the qualifying questions. Other times, people are too honest! I once did a focus group with 16-17-year-old males about using the internet on their mobiles. I worked really hard to come across as someone cool that they could be open with – little did I know I would gain confessions about watching porn on the bus and having naked video chats with their girlfriends!” TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TRAVELSHOW

How it went... If you didn’t manage to make it to the TNT/STA Travel Show on March 1, take a look at what you missed! More than 11,000 eager travellers shook off their Sunday morning hangovers to bag some unbeatable bargains at the TNT/ STA Travel Show on March 1. There was a buzzing atmosphere as visitors saved up to 60% off tours around Europe and beyond, sometimes with a mere £10 deposit. Festival tours, epic adventures and last-minute ski trips flew off the shelves. Elsewhere audiences listened to top tips at the travel expert seminars, bid in the TNT Travel Auction and had a go at the Lucky Dip. The jackpot winner was Kerry-Lee Pohl who exclaimed, “WOW... I am at a loss for words. BEST NEWS EVER! Thanks to all those involved with the travel show. It was an awesome day, with a great vibe, and I met some fantastic people. Bring on the adventures!” The winner of the TNT Tour Search Passport Competition was Catherine Furness.

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TRAVELSHOW

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If you weren’t already inspired to explore the big wide world, these four professional globetrotters will have you digging out your passport. We talk drinking tea in Kenya, getting lost in the desert and itch cream with four of adventure’s finest… WORDS: CAMILLA DAVIES

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ROADTRIP

Legendary explorer Sir Ranulph was the first person to visit both the North and South Poles by surface means and the first to completely cross Antarctica on foot. Oh, and he climbed the summit of Mt Everest aged 65. Have you ever underestimated a challenge? Yes. Forty per cent of our expeditions have actually failed over the 40 years, but bearing in mind that we’re always going for world records, that’s not surprising. Included in our ‘failures’ we’ve actually broken existing world records but not always gotten to the final goal. What’s your most treasured piece of kit? I wouldn’t go anywhere without anti-itch cream. I’ve been using it for 30 years. On big polar expeditions when you don’t wash at all for three months, it gets itchy, so you put that stuff on and it’s a relief. And you get psoriasis, you get skin allergies and so on with dirty clothes. In hot climates too, with deserts or jungles with nettles and bites; it’s very good stuff. What’s been the toughest challenge you’ve ever undertaken? They’re different – finding the lost city of Ubar took eight major expeditions into the desert. Each expedition had separate sponsors, separate permits, so it was very difficult in that manner. The Transglobe Expedition had 1,900 sponsors and it took seven years to organise – seven years when we were paid nothing. Then crossing the Antarctic continent with Mike Stroud. There was nothing that we didn’t carry from day one for 1,800 miles – that was physically very difficult with gangrene and frostbite.

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ROADTRIP

The director of Secret Compass, a pioneering extreme travel company, Bodkin has taken teams on remote expeditions across Afghanistan, Madagascar and Sierra Leone. Were you an adventurous child? Yes, I’d be playing in the woods, building dens, running around getting into trouble, coming back covered in mud and getting told off by my mum. I left home at 18 and travelled around the world by myself and always looked to get off the beaten track. How did you spend that first adventure? I flew out to Malawi then hitch hiked through Southern Africa for a couple of months, then climbed a mountain in Malawi by myself. I then went to New Zealand and did a trail that is closed in the winter but did it anyway by myself, in the middle of nowhere, far from civilisation with no potential for help if anything went wrong. What’s your essential survival tip? To develop a really good relationship with the local people you’re working with. If you do that you can normally sort yourself out in any situation. A travel luxury you can’t do without? I always take an empty pillow case: you can stuff that with clothes, a towel, fold it over and you’ve a pillow to sleep on too. Any great mementoes you’ve taken home? I found a reindeer skull with huge antlers in northern Finland. We managed to bring it home, with the antlers wrapped in bubble wrap!

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The face of Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve, Places That Don’t Exist and Indian Ocean, travel presenter Simon Reeve and his film crew have opened our eyes to cultures across the world. You’ve travelled the globe on the job. Where’s the most fascinating place you’ve been? Madagascar, off the coast of Africa, is spectacular and beautiful and upsetting and ticks your fascinating boxes. There’s lots of extraordinary things to see there, and the people are amazing – they’ve got lots of really wonderful and bizarre traditions that are great to explore and discover. I’d also go for Somaliland, in the Horn of Africa, which I’ve been to a good few times and which actually is not recognised as a country. What mementos have you taken home? I’ve been banned from bringing back much else by my wife. I’ve got an interesting collection of knives that have been given to me by soldiers in various parts of the world. I’ve collected a lot of stamps on my passport, and I’ve picked up a lot of bugs along the way. You’ve spent a lot of time in Africa... I’ve had the privilege to visit between 25 and 30 countries in Africa. They’re the sorts of places you miss when you’re not there, and for all the reasons that people talk about: the people, the wildlife, the sheer joy of sitting out on the great plains in Kenya having a cup of tea with ladies of the Masai tribe and gossiping about the world and their families. It just brings a smile to my face. Any terrible travel experiences? I’ve had Malaria and I’ve been held up at gunpoint. I’ve been stuck in the desert with no food and not enough water with a broken down car, thinking, ‘What the hell are we gonna do?’ What’s your most rewarding travel experience? A moment that only travel can give you is when you’re completely out of your world and your culture and you have a little taste of somebody else’s. And they welcome you and there’s no pretension, no attempt to go, ‘Look how unlucky I am compared to you’; just a warm welcome. I always thought when I was growing up that the world is a big and scary place. But it really isn’t. Almost everyone can be incredibly welcoming, although lots of people in the media get off on saying how scary it is out there – it’s actually amazing.

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The wildlife presenter has spent his career befriending deadly animals and exploring cliffs, jungles and forests in the name of nature. How much of the year do you spend travelling? Last year four months, and in 2013 I was away for 10 months.

Any creature left to tick off your bucket list? Absolutely scores of them. The thing about working in wildlife is that it’s an infinite subject, there are probably two million described species in the world, there could easily be 20 million or even more. I know people who have spent their entire life focusing the fleas that live on bats and they still don’t know everything about them. There is more than you could ever know or see in a thousand lifetimes. I’ve gotten very close to the snow leopard but never seen one with my own eyes in the wild, so that I’d really love to do. And there are countless invertebrates I’d still really like to see. What’s the most treasured stamp in your passport? Probably Cambodia circa 1995 when I’m pretty sure I was the only non-UN foreigner in the country. It was a time when there was still a lot of conflict. The country closed to international travellers but I kind of got in on a technicality thanks to the help of someone in the UN, and I got out on the back of a motorbike across the border thanks to a couple of hundred dollars slipped in my passport and given to the passport official…

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Interview and images supplied by Interview Hub

Would you describe yourself as a thrill seeker? I would describe myself as a joy seeker or as someone who tries to get the absolute most out of life. I wouldn’t say I’m an adrenaline junkie; I’m not someone who thrives on fear and on danger – I get just as much wonder out of putting a moth trap out in the garden and finding species I haven’t seen before.

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WIN TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE AT BARCLAYCARD PRESENTS BRITISH SUMMER TIME HYDE PARK TNT is offering four lucky winners the chance to win a pair of tickets to see the one and only Kylie at Barclaycard presents British Summer Time Hyde Park on Sunday June 21. Joined by the iconic Grace Jones and disco legends Chic feat. Nile Rodgers, plus many more - this promises to be an unmissable party in the park. Other artists appearing at this year’s festival between June 18-28 include Taylor Swift, The Strokes, Blur and The Who. The event site is open and accessible for free during the midweek days, so why not come to the park after work and enjoy some outdoor cinema or comedy, a cold beer and some amazing food from one of the many hand-picked traders. Visit www.bst-hydepark.com for full event info. Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions bst-hydepark.com

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Jon Durand

We talk to national champion, international event-winner, world record holder and the world’s #1 hang glider about flying at 14, angry eagles, and morning glory... INTERVIEW CAROLINE GARNAR

Photo: Supplied by Red Bull

At speeds in excess of 100km/h, Aussie Jon Durand has flown above great white sharks, risked a massive ocean swell and powerful winds, tackled the unforgiving cliffs of the Great Australian Bite and glided over a rare morning glory cloud formation (a long, horizontal, tube-shaped cloud, in case you were wondering). Now officially the world’s #1 hang glider, you can see Durand in action on Red Bull TV as part of its Focus Series 2. We grab him for a Q&A while he’s on terra firma – hence why it’s a quick one! When did you do your first ever hangglide, and where? My first flight was from Mt Tamborine in the Gold Coast hinterland. I was only 14 years old when I jumped off the 2,000ft-high mountain. It was the most amazing feeling, and from then on I was hooked. What is your most memorable hanggliding experience? I think one of the most memorable experiences would have to be flying the morning glory cloud in 2009. Describe the feeling while you’re up there in the clouds... It is one of the most peaceful places to be; you are as free as a bird. My hang 30

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glider feels like a natural extension of my arms and I could just fly around all day long. Have you ever been scared for your life? There are always moments when you get scared, but I think that only keeps you safe. We hear you battle in the sky with eagles – tell us more about this...! I wouldn’t say that – we only dream to fly as good as one. But sometimes if we get low over their nest in mating season they will attack us. You are grand champion of real-life Angry Birds – how is catapulting wingless birds at pigs translated into real life? Good question. Although I have never played that game [on a smartphone] so it is hard for me to answer.

the world. Brazil, USA and Australia have some of the best flying places. What do you do with your time when it’s not glider weather? How else do you get your kicks? I spend about nine months a year competing so when I’m free I like to hang out with friends and family.

You want to be the first person to fly across Australia in a hang glider. Are you getting closer to that goal? Have you set yourself a deadline? No deadline. It is a huge project and at this stage there is no deadline to achieve it.

If you didn’t have the Red Bull glider, what would you adorn your wings with? Red Bull gives me wings, so if I didn’t have them maybe I would be working in an office job.

Where is your favourite place to fly? I have many favourite places around

Jon Durand stars in FOCUS Series 2 available now on Red Bull TV (redbull.tv)

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WIN TWO TICKETS TO THE I AM GLOBAL WATER PARK FESTIVAL IN BARCELONA TNT and I AM Global Festival Barcelona are offering one lucky winner and a guest the chance to win tickets* to the largest water park festival in Europe, held from June 4 until June 8. The IAG Festival is a mixed genre event that will showcase a spectrum of music from some of the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most renown acts and finest rising stars across 3 stages, taking place over 5 days between the 4th and 8th of June. Located in the Vilassar de Dalt region, with over 20 different water attractions within 10â&#x20AC;&#x2122;000m2 of parkland, a stellar line-up has been programmed across 3 stages. The Main Stage, a Pool Stage and a former bull ring converted into an amazing 3000 capacity Auditorium arena will play host to this spectacularly unique aqua raving affair. This fun-filled experience will be expanded beyond the waterpark with a boat party, after parties and a party on the Platja Gran Calella beach giving partygoers the ultimate festival experience.

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*2-day Full Event tickets are for June 6 & 7

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LOCALROUND-UP

Local sport report TNT gets the lowdown on what’s happening at London’s AFL clubs...

West London Wildcats WEST LONDON WILDCATS Welcome – hear us roar! A quick introduction: We’re an Aussie Rules Football Club based in south-west London, but with playing members from all across London. We have three teams that play during the summer months, and likewise our netball team, the allconquering Wildkittens, have a number of grades available for girls keen to get involved. Season 2014 was our 25th year, and we managed to cap it off by winning premierships across all three divisions! Season 2015 promises to be another exciting year down at Wildcat land, starting with us participating in the AFL Europe Champions League, which took place last month in Amsterdam, and ending with a post-season footy trip to the Greek islands in August, with lots of fun both on and off the field in between. The social calendar provides great opportunity to meet new people and create life-long friendships; it includes the annual pub crawl (March 28), Rubix cube party (April 25), River Thames boat party (June 6) and Royal Ascot races (June 20) just to name a few! This month, ANZAC day marks the start of the AFL London season, with all three West London teams in action. Matches will be followed by the famous Rubix Cube party. Come dressed in all colours of the Rubix cube, and leave wearing all one colour! Cheap drinks and prizes on offer, keep an eye on Wildcats Facebook page for further details (facebook.com/ westlondonwildcats). The Wildcats invite you to come get among the fun, whether as a player, just for fitness or as a spectator, everyone is welcome. Best of all, everyone gets a game! 32

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Check out the West London Wildcats Facebook page for upcoming events, training times, location and other useful information. If you have any questions, contact us via the Facebook page, at pitchero.com/clubs/westlondonwildcats, on westlondonwildcats@londonfooty.com, or on 07800 694 273.

WANDSWORTH DEMONS Celebrating 25 years and a new women’s team It’s already been a huge start to the year for the Wandsworth Demons. We have gained new sponsorship opportunities and partnerships, as loyal sponsors return for yet another year. On the field the men have dominated in their preseason games in Oxford and Amsterdam. Off the field has been a highlight also, with a jam-packed social calendar, recruitment drives and barbecues every other weekend. It is an exciting year for the Demons – our 25th year since debut and forming the men’s league. This year we are putting on three men’s team and are a big part of the inaugural AFL London women’s league. We are entering our own women’s team who already have great momentum, with more than 70 girls already showing an interest and up to 15 at training each week. We had great success at the TNT Travel Show as well, signing up almost 100 men and women! Our entry into the inaugural AFL London women’s league will see us playing six rounds before we fight for the flag. Our team is already proving to be strong, with the girls giving the men a run for their money both on and off the field. Last month, while the men were in Amsterdam, the girls, 18-strong, tackled some of London’s Irish pubs. The build up to season commencement has well and truly begun, with a

LOCALROUND-UP focus on friendly matches and the round-robin Preseason Cup on Saturday April 18 at Peckham Rye. Both the men and the women will be competing for preseason bragging rights throughout the AFL London leagues. Also important this year is the unveiling of our brand new logo and merchandise, which will commemorate our anniversary year. Watch this space… Want to find out more? Visit us at wandsworthdemons.com, find us on Facebook or drop us a tweet @wandsworthdemon. We look forward to meeting you very soon!

NORTH LONDON LIONS Changes are afoot As is the nature of AFL in London, season 2015 has seen a number of changes at the North London Lions, whether forced by visas running out, people moving abroad or deciding it’s time to hang up their boots. This has meant the club bidding farewell to club legends Brendan McGeever (President and Club Coach) and Damian O’Connor (Second Grade Assistant Coach). Additionally, the playing list has seen a number of key players leave for a variety of reasons including midfielders Luke Stevenson and Ben Poole, key forward Matthew Lello and a number of other players across all grades. The departures have meant a number of opportunities both on and off the field, with Ben Quick taking over as Club Coach

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and Jay Treloar stepping in as President. Player recruitment has been promising with plenty of new faces arriving through the pre-season and putting their best foot forward to make this season a success. With these players hailing from all across Australia, USA, New Zealand, Germany, Ireland and the rest of the UK, North London looks set to maintain an already diverse player base. Additionally and excitingly, the club has put their hand up to be one of the four participating in AFL London’s first season women’s league after Adina Lieblich decided to move north of the Thames to join the Lions and accepted the role as Women’s Coach. Recruitment for the ladies team hasn’t been as prolific from the start of January, but has quickly gathered momentum with new faces arriving every week looking to be a part of something that promises to be very exciting for both the club and the league. In what is the club’s 25th year, all of what has taken place so far in pre-season bodes well for a very promising season at North London. To find out more about us, visit aussierules.co.uk

SOUTH EAST LONDON GIANTS A Giant leap for womankind 2015 is set to be a historic year for South East London Giants with its first ever women’s team taking part in the inaugural

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WIN ONE OF FOUR KITSOUND SONAR SPEAKERS! TNT and KitSound are delighted to be partnering together to offer four lucky winners an incredible Sonar speaker each. This Bluetooth speaker has six hours of play time and is water resistant. What’s more, it has five totally unique LED settings – including two that react to the music. This speaker has been designed to be happy in any weather, anywhere. Whether you’re at the beach or camping under the stars, you can bring the party wherever you are. The water resistance rating of IPX4 shows that the KS Sonar can match almost anything you throw at it. Experience your music in a totally fresh and vibrant way by winning a KitSound Sonar Speaker! Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions www.kitsound.co.uk facebook.com/KitSoundUK twitter.com/KitSoundUK youtube.com/user/kitsounduk

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South East London Giants

Party with the Hawks

Women’s AFL League in London. The ladies commenced training on January 25 with 10 girls turning up to learn the basics of AFL on a muddy Peckham Rye Common. Age and experience is no barrier, with most of the girls coming from non-AFL backgrounds such as rugby and Gaelic football, giving everyone an opportunity to learn together. On February 15 the ladies joined the men for their first training session of the year at Victoria Park in East London. A fantastic session was held with more than 30 players training on the day. One month later and the numbers are looking strong, with both men’s and women’s teams growing in numbers. The next focus is the Shea Sports Cup being hosted by the Giants on Peckham Rye Common on Saturday April 18. The day will be a round-robin affair with the four women’s teams playing their first ever competitive matches and 10 men’s teams taking part. Competitions start from 11am and will continue all the way through the afternoon. Entertainment, food and drinks will be available for everyone on the day. If you have never seen AFL, come down to Peckham Rye, you won’t regret it! The Giants will continue pre-season trainings on Sunday mornings with the men training at Victoria Park in East London from 12pm and the ladies alternating between Victoria Park and Peckham Rye. If you fancy trying something different and giving AFL a go, or if you are an expat and miss playing the game, you can contact the club through its Facebook page, Twitter (@londongiants) and for the ladies via Marianna Graham (womensfootball@londongiants.com). 34

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Wimbledon Hawks

WIMBLEDON HAWKS Swooping in on the season Pre-season for the Wimbledon Hawks Aussie Rules football club is well underway for season 2015! Regular training sessions have been held every Sunday at 11am on the NorthWest corner of Clapham Common. The Hawks had their annual away training session at Olympic Park in Stratford last month. We had a our best turnout for the year so far as those Hawkers and Hawkettes got to take in the sights of the home of the London Olympics 2012. The cold weather didn’t dampen anyone’s enthusiasm, and the post training drinks at The Cow were well deserved! The Hawks have loads of social events in the coming weeks. Our silver-themed 25th anniversary pub crawl will double as our season launch party. This will kick-off at the South Wimbledon Club on Saturday April 4 at 3pm. The men’s pre-season trip this year is in Sheffield from April 10-12 where we will be taking on the Sheffield Thunder in a practice match. Not to be outdone, the Hawks ladies team will be participating in the Haggis Cup in Glasgow that same weekend for their pre-season trip. Round 1 of the AFL London season begins on Saturday April 25, where the Hawks will be playing at our home ground, ‘The Nest’, in Motspur Park. To find out more about the Wimbledon Hawks and get involved, check out our website, wimbledonhawks.com, or follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To get in touch with someone at the club directly, email club@ wimbledonhawks.com. Join in the fun today!

TRAVEL

Image: Dan Medhurst

GREAT OUTLOOK It’s all about that bass at Croatia’s Outlook Festival, which joins the dots between musical legends right through to next-generation talent. Reaching its 8th year in 2015, it’s held in a 19th-century fort for five days and nights. Acts confirmed so far include The Madlib Carnival, Shy FX, George Fitzgerald, Norman Jay, Maribou State and many more. September 2-6, Fort Punta Christo, Pula, Croatia; £190 with camping. outlookfestival.com

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HELLO KIT-TEA LAUNCHES TEA SHOP IN KYOTO When it’s time to stop for tea, there’s nothing that says you’re in Hello Kitty’s homeland like a Hello Kitty-themed tea house. Kyoto’s latest hotspot is Tea House Hello Kitty Saryo – a collaboration between a Japanese tea house and the famous ‘non-cat’, where people of all ages and from all corners of the world can now come to enjoy traditional Japanese cuisine Hello Kitty-style. The tea house is open from 10.30am-5.30pm and sells countless Kitty treats. From everyday dim sum decorated with Hello Kitty stamps to matcha green tea lattes with the famous face on the foam, Hello Kitty fans can rest assured that everything served here comes complete with its

very own nod to the 40-yearold character. What’s more, a visit needn’t break the bank with Hello Kitty cakes costing as little as £2.45. For mega-fans of the iconic character, the Hello Kitty immersion can continue after the cakes and delicacies have been consumed. A visit to the craft shop next door is a must where visitors can browse a host of Hello Kitty memorabilia including traditional Japanese tea pots, tote bags, clothing and stationary. For the full low-down on the Hello Kitty Cafe, visit telacoya.co.jp/kt/index

Calling all canine lovers... You read right: the team at holidaycottages.co.uk is offering one UK-based dog and its owner the chance to apply for a newly created ‘Canine Critic’ role, giving one animal access to a host of free pet-friendly trips. As part of the role, the pet pooch and their lucky owner will get the chance to explore a variety of different holidays, to ensure they meet the expected high standards of holiday-goers travelling with animals. In a bid to improve the services it offers to guests enjoying breaks with their pets, UK holiday specialists holidaycottages.co.uk is looking to hire an official ‘Canine Critic’ later on this year. Rather than paying the successful canine applicant with a monetary salary, the position will be paid for in a series of four free

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holiday stays for the dog throughout the 2015/16 season. The animal’s owner(s), who will be reviewing the holidays based on how dogfriendly the destinations and cottages are, will also be able to take advantage of the adventures with their dog. The owner of the chosen ‘Canine Critic’ will be asked to keep regular, up-to-date blogs and video accounts of the four holidays they take. Do you’ll need to enjoy writing, have good time management skills and be able to meet deadlines. Your dog will need to be well-behaved too. Interested in putting your pet pooch forward for the position of Canine Critic? Check out the holiday cottages website (holidaycottages.co.uk/ caninecritic) where you’ll find the application form together with a full list of terms and conditions.

Photos: supplied and iStock. Words: Trevor Burton and Kaye Holland

Dog lovers are in with the chance to win a year’s worth of free trips for Fido (and his owner).

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LIFESTYLEMONEY TRAVELNEWS

Paddywagon launches new day tours from London The good folk at Paddywagon launched their brand new sister company Day Tours London last month. Now that spring has stop, led by a passionate, sprung(ish), you may be well-trained guide and thinking about venturing travelling on a state-of-thefurther afield from London art new coach, with free and seeing what else wifi, WC and extra leg room. England has to offer. Day We’d say he’s right! Tours London is here to Departing daily from show you exactly that! outside Gloucester Road Operating tours of Britain station in London, Day Tours and Ireland since 1998, London offers you a choice Paddywagon Tours is now of two amazing day tours: bringing their own unique style to day trips leaving STONEHENGE, BATH & THE from London. It’s offering ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE a daily tour to Stonehenge On the way to this world and Bath, with admission focus site, your guide will to Stonehenge included, tell you more about the as well as going to Oxford mystery of Stonehenge and and Stratford-Upon-Avon its significance. Constructed at weekends. during the Neolithic period Paddywagon founder by Stone Age farmers, this Charlie O’Connell has said site is a place of unique that he believes visitors importance. The tour TNT_london_Half_Page_March2015:Layout want a tour that allows includes your admission to enough time to enjoy each the world’s most famous

stone circle at Stonehenge, and to the exhibition. After approximately 1.5hrs at Stonehenge, you will then travel through some of the most beautiful countryside in England on the way to Bath. When arriving in Bath, you will have ample time to explore this ancient city. The Roman baths were one of the most famous hot springs in Europe. Nowadays the Roman structure is long gone and the current buildings were constructed in Georgian times, making Bath one of the most beautiful cities in England. OXFORD, STRATFORD & DISCOVERY 1COTSWOLDS 19/03/2015 11:35 Operating Saturday and Sunday throughout the

year, the tour begins at Shakespeare’s birth place, Stratford Upon Avon, a charming town, you will have approx two hours to explore and the tour includes entrance to Shakespeare’s Birthplace and the Shakespeare Centre. Following this is a drive through England’s most famous countryside, the Cotswolds, towards Oxford, where you will be given ample time to explore the most famous University city in the world, with tips from your tour operator on the best places to see. Both tours will aim to get you back into London at 6.30pm so if you are thinking Pageof1a day trip or two – check them out! daytourslondon.com

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TRAIN JOURNEYS

Rail aficionado, Max Lovell-Hoare

If your overriding thought of rail travel is British Rail sandwiches, broken ticket barriers, men in anoraks or the commuter crush at Waterloo, cast it to one side. They have about as much in common with these rail adventures as Thomas the Tank Engine does with a bullet train. In the 19th century, the arrival of the railways revolutionised travel, especially for the masses. New lines opened up the unvisited wildernesses of Canada, Russia and sub Saharan Africa, making them accessible for the very first time, and with relatively little effort you could hop on board in London and (barring a change or three) end up on the Sea of Japan. Rail travel was – and frequently still is – cheap and it brings you up closer and personal not only with the environment you’re passing through, but also local people. Our top five train journeys span 38 00

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TOP 5

MY EXPERIENCE How much do you travel by train? Last year I rode well over 20,000 miles on railways, so I almost lapped the globe. This included three trips on the Trans-Siberian, and also the inaugural Jewels of Persia tour. Why not just take a flight? I fly a great deal too, but you see so much more from the ground. When I have time, I always take the train as you get to see all the random places in between. One of my recent highlights was the 42-tonne stone head of Lenin in Ulan Ude: it’s not a place I’d ever have chosen to fly to, but if your train stops in a place, you’re definitely going to get off and explore. Which is your favourite rail route? Anywhere in Russia and Central Asia. You’ll never appreciate the scale of these areas unless you take the train across. You can travel by train very cheaply, drinking vodka piled into a sleeper carriage with the locals, or treat yourself and do it in luxury on the Golden Eagle, Russia’s first private train. Top tip? Pack light! A sleeper cabin is always smaller than you think.

Words: Sophie Ibbotson. Photos: iStock and supplied

TOPFIVE

Max on the Jewels of Persia three continents and every imaginable terrain. Whether you want to travel with live chickens and migrant traders from Almaty to Urumqi, or prefer to relax in the decadent surroundings of of a royal train, there’s something for every budget and taste.

TRANS-SIBERIAN WINTER WONDERLAND

There’s so much more to Siberia than Gulag Archipelago, and though it might seem counter-intuitive, the best time to ride all 5,772 miles of the world’s longest railway from Moscow to Vladivostok is in the depths of winter. The amply heated Golden Eagle whisks passengers across seven time zones in luxury, stopping at the Lake Baikal Ice Festival for dog sledding, a hovercraft ride and, of course, a lot of ice-cold vodka. From £9,895pp. goldeneagleluxurytrains.com

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CAPE TO CAIRO

SILK ROAD

Cecil Rhodes envisaged a single railway line stretching the length of East Africa. Regional instability and the breakup of empires prevented the realisation of this dream, but there’s a good network of local passenger trains across the continent, with the exception of South Sudan and Sudan. Although not for the faint-hearted, train travel’s an extraordinary way to explore the heart of Africa and to appreciate its epic landscapes and wildlife. seat61.com

The overland trading routes of antiquity, ridden by Marco Polo and Genghis Khan, were usurped almost overnight with the arrival of the railways. However, the steppes and mountains of central Asia and western China remain, majestic in their size and variety, and you’ll never forget your first sight of Bukhara, Samarkand or the Taklamakan Desert. You can ride on scheduled passenger services from Moscow to Beijing via Astana or Tashkent. About £750. poezda.net chinahighlights.com/china-trains

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PALACE ON WHEELS

JEWELS OF PERSIA

The 14 cars of the Palace on Wheels are each named after one of India’s princely states, and are decorated with an appropriate level of regal splendour, including antique furnishings and original artworks. The train completes a circuit of Rajasthan, visiting the Pink City of Jaipur, the Blue City of Jodhpur, and the desert fortress at Jaisalmer, and returns to Delhi via Udaipur (made famous in Octopussy) and the Taj Mahal. From £3,298pp indusexperiences.co.uk

The latest epic addition to this list is the Jewels of Persia, a luxury train between Budapest and Tehran which launched in late 2014. Over the course of two weeks the train crosses five countries, sails across Lake Van on a train ferry, and arrives triumphant in the Islamic Republic of Iran. It is the only European train allowed into the country, and itinerary highlights include Isfahan, Shiraz, and the great Achaemenid ruins of Persepolis. From £8,810pp. Departs September 4, October 6 and November 16 mircorp.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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WHERE TO GET WET AROUND THE WORLD Looking to spice up your summer holiday with a wet and wild adventure this year? We’ve put together our top five water sport escapades. By Nikki Button

GO ON A CANOEING SAFARI IN BOTSWANA For more than 30 years the Selinda Spillway in northern Botswana was bone dry, but due to exceptional rains and high flooding since 2009 you can now enjoy a once-in-alifetime safari experience by exploring its game-rich floodplains by canoe. What’s involved? A five-day self-contained expedition involves camping under the stars and carrying all your equipment with you in an open Canadian canoe. With the help of an experienced guide you’ll paddle deep into remote parts of the African wilderness and even get a chance to explore some of the surrounding territory by foot.

HAVE A WINDSURFING ADVENTURE IN TURKEY Turkey’s Aegean coast, with its sandy beaches, crystal

Scuba in Florida Keys clear waters and steady yet reliable winds, offer unbeatable conditions for you to put your windsurfing skills to the test, or even try your hand at this exhilarating sport for the first time. What’s involved? Whether you are a complete beginner or windsurfing fanatic, a tailor-made windsurfing holiday at a Royal Yachting Association Training Centre in Turkey allows you to benefit from expert tuition whenever you like. Holiday providers like Neilson (neilson.co.uk) can include all aspects of tuition, courses and RYA qualifications in their packages.

DISCOVER SCUBA DIVING IN THE FLORIDA KEYS

Photos: iStock

Running five miles off shore along the length of the Florida Keys is the continental United States’ only living-coral barrier reef. With more than 500 species of fish, fascinating marine life and ship wrecks

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of Spanish explorers dating back to the 1700s, there’s no better place for a scuba diving vacay of a lifetime. What’s involved? For those new to scuba diving and looking to gain entry-level or ‘open water’ certification, allow three to five days for your training. The course requires some classroom work and you’ll be taught how to use the equipment in a swimming pool before experiencing open-water dives to explore the reef.

LEARN TO KITE SURF IN MOROCCO Combine the rich and mystical culture of Morocco with the thrill of learning one of the world’s fastest growing beach sports. But beware, from the minute you feel the power of the wind and the thrill of being on the sea, you’ll be hooked! What’s involved? Week-long kite surfing courses take place on Essaouira beach where the conditions are perfect for beginners (golearnto.com).

You’ll be fully kitted out with everything you need and lessons take place daily. Accommodation consists of a boutique-style Riad and when you’re not learning the art of kite-surfing, a visit to the souks or the experience of a relaxing hammam is a must.

SURFING IN PORTUGAL With its beautiful unspoilt white sandy beaches, the best waves Europe has to offer and its laid-back surf culture, it’s easy to see why the coast of Portugal is fast becoming a Mecca for surf lovers. What’s involved? Surf school holidays offer a great way to learn to surf or, if you’re already an enthusiast, develop your technique under the expert eye of a pro. Many courses include optional early morning yoga sessions, followed by daily two-three hour surf lessons tailor made to improve your skills. Afternoons are usually left free for you to practice your new-found expertise or explore the local area.

Regulated by the FCA

10-17 August 2015 BUDAPEST

Winner of the ‘Best Major European Festival’ award in 2011 and 2014, Sziget – The Island of Freedom is one of the biggest multicultural festivals in Europe. It attracts 400,000 fans from over 80 countries to a beautiful island in Budapest and offers a complete festival-holiday experience: non-stop party for 7 days, live concerts in all genres, spectacular arts projects and all the attractions the city has to offer.

This year’s line-up includes: Robbie Williams, Florence & The Machine, Martin Garrix, Alt-J, Foals, Marina and the Diamonds, Interpol, Gogol Bordelllo, Alesso, Knife Party, Paloma Faith and much more

www.szigetfestival.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

UKTRIP

Photos: Jocelyn Low

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Into the wild Bear Grylls has created a generation of intrepid survivors willing to drink their own urine. TNT didn’t go that far on a recent wilderness weekend, but we sure can pluck a pheasant. Words: Rachael Swindale

It was a Friday night in winter. Instead of curling up on the sofa with a plate of something calorific and the remote control, I was standing in a forest in Wiltshire looking at a hole in the ground. “This is the toilet,” said Joe, our leader for the weekend. Above the hole, there was a seat with a shovel to one side. There was no lock, but then there wasn’t really a door – just a tarpaulin covering with a gap for an entrance. Something told me that, while I was well up for this adventure, my bowels might not be quite so enthusiastic. I had ended up here as part of a wilderness weekend organised by Secret Adventures. Over the course of two days, I would be learning survival skills along with a group of fellow adventurers. The following morning, after we’d packed away our tents, we gathered around a doll-sized ‘wig wam’ made of twigs. What do you need to survive? Joe asked us. “Water”, “food”, we all chorused. There was a pause then someone piped up, “to stay warm”. “And in what order?”... “Erm...” Our teacher was wilderness survival and bushcraft expert, Joe O’Leary. Calm, jovial and nifty with a knife, he’s the kind of man you’d want to have around if a zombie apocalypse ever happened. He explained the rule of threes: we can survive around three minutes without air, three hours without shelter (depending on the weather conditions of course), three days without water and three weeks without food. Our first priority then was getting a roof over our heads. Using the miniature as a demonstration model, Joe showed us how we could build a shelter using branches and leaves gathered from the forest floor. We whistled through fire building and knife skills, and I was starting to reach information overload. That is until my brain clicked into gear during health and safety as Joe said matter or factly, “There’s not much we can do if you cut your femoral artery.” Got it. After lunch, it was time for us to put everything into practice. We divided into teams of five. There was a group of twentysomethings in skinny jeans and eyeliner, with a rucksack full of booze; a group of capable sorts in Goretex with at least one member who was ex-military; and then us. ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

UKTRIP I left the structural work to my teammates and set about gathering and sawing: thick branches for supports; thinner ones for the walls; birch bark and dry logs for the fire. It was better than any meditation class; an hour into the task and my usual internal chatter had gone completely silent. But then it was easy to be relaxed here. Despite being just a mile from one of the main South West thoroughfares, the only thing disturbing the peace was the occasional drilling of a woodpecker or the melancholic hoot of an owl. The sun was low in the sky by the time we’d finished. We all took a moment to admire our little Hobbit hut, proud of what we’d managed to achieve. A short while later, Joe came to check on us. He looked worried when we said we hadn’t started building our fire yet. But really, how long could it take? Turns out quite a long time. By now it was pitch black outside. We huddled around a pile of birch bark strips at the centre of the hut, taking turns to strike a metal prod – otherwise known as a Swedish fire steel. Sparks flew but the damp bark only smouldered. Finally, tiny flames leapt from the wood and we were off. If we really wanted to go all Bear Grylls, we’d be out there foraging and hunting. Only it was February and the only edible bit of greenery was some wild cress poking through the muddy tracks. It was quite tasty and would no doubt make a lovely addition to a sandwich, but it wasn’t going to fill our bellies on a cold winter evening. And as for hunting, well, I’m pretty sure there’s some law against letting a bunch of amateurs loose in the forest with a crossbow. Instead, each team was given two pheasants and some vegetables. After a spot of torch-lit butchery, I tossed the skinned and gutted birds into a pot over the fire with the rest of the ingredients. Later that night, with our bellies full of pheasant stew, we made house calls on the other groups. ‘Team skinny jean’ had stolen a jar of Nutella from the camp kitchen and was roasting chocolate bananas on the fire. I wished we’d thought of that. The Goretex crowd invited us in for a nightcap. Their shelter was compact and warm. If this had been a competition, they’d definitely be the winners. Back at ours, we bedded down for the night. My fir branch mattress was surprisingly comfy, and with the fire blazing, I was toastier than the night before when I’d slept under canvas. Between wisps of smoke, I watched the starry night through our ‘skylight’ as I drifted off to sleep. A few hours later, I woke up freezing. Our fire had died down to an ashy pile. I added more logs and fanned it using the lid from the cooking pot. It leapt back to life but I knew that, in a short while, one of us would have to do the same all over again. On the Sunday morning, we built a sweat lodge. “Take off as many clothes as you feel comfortable with,” said Joe. The men stripped to their undies, but us ladies stuck to a more modest thermal leggings and T-shirt combo. After this wilderness ‘spa treatment’ it was time to go. As I headed back to London with blackened nostrils, smokescented hair and pheasant juice under my fingernails, I felt exhilarated, and calmer than I’d felt in ages. I still couldn’t wait for a warm bed, a hot bath and a flushable toilet, mind...

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A Spring Wilderness Weekend will be taking place with Secret Adventures on May 29-31, costing £195. For more information and to book upcoming trips go to www. secretadventures.org

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Seven Greek Island must-dos From other-worldly caves to underwater hot springs, make sure you explore every nook and cranny in the incredible Greek Islands. By Cliff Blaylock

Melissani Cave The Greek islands are steeped in history, surrounded by vibrant and glimmering oceans and enhanced by its Mediterranean culture. While lounging on the beach, swimming in the resort pool or visiting the local bars might be high on the agenda in this popular holiday destination, why not try out something on our list of seven unique and must do activities that will make the holiday really worth writing home about?

The Acropolis of Athens When flying into any of the Greek islands, you will most likely do so by heading into Athens. While in the city, why not take a day to explore Athens’ most famous ancient wonder, the Acropolis? Walking through the streets of an ancient Greek citadel is something few people can say they have done. It is a truly breathtaking experience.

A small cave system, it ends in a lagoon deep underground, open to the elements by a large crater above. With this great skylight hanging overhead, the entire cave becomes illuminated by sunlight, promising stunning views and deep and crystal clear blue waters. A paradise beneath the Earth.

The Samaria Gorge Probably the most stunning natural location on any of the islands, the Samaria Gorge is like a time capsule. Entering the gorge through its upper entrance, you feel as if you are in another world, a fantasy world, dreamt up by writers for some epic quest. Truly awe-inspiring. However, not only does it feature jaw-dropping views, but exciting hiking trails, walkways, old rope bridges, cut-away cafes and gentle flowing rivers.

The Melissani Cave

Explore an uninhabited island

The Greek Islands are home to a number of illustrious cave networks thanks to the erosive power of that salty and wrathful monster, the Mediterranean. One cave in particular stands out above the rest: the Melissani cave.

With thousands of islands surrounding Greece, and only 300 or so currently inhabited, you could soon find yourself on an island all of your own. Often mountainous and covered in dense jungle, while not the best place to

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find a cocktail, these deserted islands are perfect for those of you looking to explore. Who knows, you might find an incredible secluded beach, a beautiful lagoon or spectacular viewpoint of the Mediterranean.

Go snorkelling & diving One thing that has to be done in Greece is snorkelling, or diving if you are feeling really adventurous. For snorkellers, many islands offer incredible coral reefs to explore, with vibrant underwater life. You might even get lucky and encounter some of the Mediterranean sea’s most stunning creatures, including dolphins and turtles. However, if diving is more your thing, head to the island of Milos, where diving schools will take you to explore WW2 wrecks and incredible underwater hot springs.

Hike the Santorini Volcano The island of Santorini is a dark blemish upon an otherwise vibrant landscape. Formed in a violent volcanic eruption centuries ago, its twisted shape is perfect for hikers. With low-lying gorges and high-top cliffs and mountains, this experience promises ample picturesque views. It is recommended

that you start or finish your hike at Oia, not only because it’s a bustling port town, but also because it is famed for its sleek white stone houses topped with smooth blue domes – another must see.

Sail Sailing is perhaps the ultimate experience you can have in the Greek islands. It allows for limitless opportunities for exploration and leisure. Many of the experiences on this list are on different islands, places you’d have to visit over years of different holidays, unless you sail. Aboard your own sailing boat you can explore the uninhabited islands, dock up in Oia and hike Santorini before heading over to Milos to dive about in the old war wrecks. You can also visit all the islands, restaurants, beaches, bars and ancient ruins you want. You never have to limit yourself, and that is the most exciting way to enjoy these illustrious and unforgettable islands. To charter a sailboat, try Deep Blue Yachting (deepblueyachting.co.uk). Based in the beautiful region of the Ionian Islands, it gives you unlimited access to the ocean and islands surrounding the country

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FESTIVALGUIDE

LA TOMATINA

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WHEN? AUGUST 26, 2015

FESTIVAL GUIDE

LA TOMATINA For 364 days of the year nothing really happens in the drab industrial town of Buñol, 38km west of Valencia, Spain. But today things are a little different – we’re about to take part in the world’s most famous food fight. It’s 8am and an already buzzing crowd is pushing its way towards the central square, pints of sangria in hand. In a few hours there’ll be thousands of people crammed into these mean streets, and the early birds are trying to secure a spot near the ‘palo jamon’ (which loosely translates as greasy pole), a huge pole covered with lard, with a ham on top. The tradition is for men, and occasionally women, to climb over each other in an attempt to reach the ham and become the hero, or heroine, of the festival – a near impossible task, but it’s the intention. The premise of La Tomatina though is incredibly simple, stupidly so: throw, mash, squidge or otherwise propel over-ripe tomatoes at as many of your fellow Tomatinas as possible. As 11am, the official start time, 00 48

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approaches, tensions build. Despite the fact that massive speakers have been blaring out Spanish pop tracks and everyone has been dancing, drinking and seemingly enjoying life for a few hours, they’re also sinisterly preparing for what’s about to unfold. A cannon explodes and at the end of the packed street massive trucks roll into sight, the facilitators of what’s about to go down. Somehow managing to navigate through the crowd, with a swoosh, a tsunami of juicy tomatoes flood the street, turning the world red in a flash. For the next 45 minutes or so, all hell breaks loose, people throwing tomatoes faster than they can think. You say 'tomato', I say 'bring it on!'. BOOM, the second cannon is sounded and weapons are laid down. Game over. Euphoric but exhausted and dazed, the crowd – looking like extras from Kill Bill – shuffles home slowly, exchanging laughs while marvelling at the destruction that has befallen this once-sleepy town.

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ONE WHY DO W HEN FESTIVANL DO 10?! YO U C A

e ckages of thre sport offers pa ce, as P oi el ch av ur Tr yo e The Stok festivals of 10 or x si d e, an thre l year nights at two, e pass lasts al Tomatina. Th oze at the bo ed it including La ation, unlim od m , m co ac se oze el where includes cheap/free bo s. er nn campsite and t and some di plus breakfas 0 start at €36 s ge ka Pac assport/

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LA TOMATINA

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TNT'S TOMATINA TOP TIPS When done right, La Tomatina is an epic experience that you’ll be talking about all year. But it can go pearshaped. TNT has seen people in still white T-shirts at the end of the festival, cursing that they got there too late to throw a single tomato. We’ve also seen people getting black eyes from flying carrots... so beware. Here’s how to do it:

Get there early. It may be limited to 15,000 punters now, but you don't want to arrive late and be stuck at the edge, missing all the tomato action. Wear something that dries quickly. It’s traditional to wear white, but the main thing is that you’re comfortable. Know that your clothes will get trashed. Don’t wear sandals as your feet will get stepped on. Wear old shoes that you don’t mind binning. Girls, hopefully it won’t happen, but the odd douchebag has been known to pull off women’s tops. Wear several layers, including a sports bra. This will also mean you avoid becoming an unwitting wet T-shirt competition contestant. Take clean clothes and leave them somewhere so that you can get changed before you get back on the bus or train. A locker at Valencia station or with a friendly local are possibilities. Some people recommend wearing goggles to protect your eyes from the acidity of the tomatoes, but in reality they get so filthy you can’t see out. Use a disposable camera and strap it to your arm. Carry money or other valuables in a zip-lock bag in your underwear or extremely safe pocket. Use the toilet just before you get into town, as you may have to wait several hours until you go again.

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LA TOMATINA

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Photos: Festivals All Around

THE TOURS

Most people who go to Tomatina stay in Valencia and make the trip by train or with an organised coach tour. The festival used to be a free-for-all, but not anymore because the town hall couldn’t afford to foot the bill for the truckloads of tomatoes and the police and medical staff needed in case of a tomatoey emergency. Revellers are now required to pay a €10 entrance fee, and only 15,000 tickets are allocated. Make sure you get booked in as nowhere else can you spend hours dancing and chanting, drinking more sangria than is recommended before 11am and proceeding to launch tomatoes at your fellow man before emerging from a crowd of crimson with a big smile on your face.

GET IN THE SPIRIT

WHAT ELSE?

Many dress in all white as if to showoff their stains when the carnage ends, but some people have been known to dress up or strip down to their undies – a group of Ninja warriors were spotted a couple of years back, complete with kamikaze headbands, while some have worn Borat-style unitards. The most important thing is to have fun. It's really busy so you're going to get stood on, pushed and, obviously, have tomatoes thrown at you. Leave your attitude at home and if you're one of these guys who wants a punch up every time you've had a sip of booze, stay at home. Nobody wants you there. Or anywhere for that matter. See our column on page 55 for tips on how best to deal with the carnage.

Festivals All Around offers the official tour of La Tomatina – given the stamp of approval by the Buñol government, no less – and with one owner born and raised in Valencia and the other an Aussie, you can't go far wrong. Postulating that Spain is for life, not just for La Tomatina, its tours incorporate Valencia, Madrid and Barcelona. On the side, the guys also help organise the official pre-party and after-party. In its fifth year, join some 4,000 fellow revellers to strip down and dive in to this pool party, with great music, lots of alcohol and even more nakedness. Festivals All Around offers tickets to both parties and La Tomatina with its Party Pack tour. Visit festivalsallaround.com for more info.

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Festivals All Around run day tours from Valencia, Barcelona and Madrid starting from £65 (¤85). Or try the deluxe hostel and hotel four-day Discover Valencia Tour, from £185 (¤255). Use discount code 'TNTAPRIL'. festivalsallaround.com

This article has been updated from the TNT Archives by Caroline Garnar. Original copy by Andrew Westbrook

WHAT TO EXPECT

La Tomatina has gained momentum in Buñol since 1944, but its origins are shrouded in mystery. Some say La Tomatina began with a fight between youths who overturned a vegetable cart, while others claim it started as a way to humiliate a bad musician. Another theory says the residents would throw tomatoes at animals eating their fruit and the fight started when they missed and hit a person. Then there’s the plausible explanation that it started as a political protest against unpopular councilmen. However it originated, after several years of the police putting a halt to the festivities, it’s now an integral part of the town’s calendar and is held on the last Wednesday of August every year.

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

Travel Talk starts its La Tomatina madness with a three-day tour from £170.10. Meet in Valencia, travel to Buñol the next day, recover with breakfast and back home you go. Pay from £188.10 to spend an extra day in Valencia and go on a walking tour around the city. Make it five days to spend your post-fest day recovering on a beach from £206.10. Accommodation for each tour is in a three-star hotel. Topdeck Travel offers a fourday tour from £210, including a day in Valencia and hostel accommodation. Add a day and an optional trip to Peniscola where you can have a go at watersports or beach volley ball. From £419. Busabout's three-dayer starts at £355 with hotel accommodation and two big nights' out in Valencia. For £289 you'll stay in a hostel but can opt to visit the pretty coastal town of Peniscola on one of your four days. If you prefer to organise your own shit out and just want a ride to La Tomatina, Busabout offers a day trip for just £79. Visit tnttoursearch.com for more info and to book.

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LA TOMATINA

La Tomatina 2015

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EUROPEANFESTIVAL

Happy Birthday to you Bilbao! With its 10th festival this summer, Bilbao BBK Live has invited a few of its closest friends to celebrate. They just so happen to be in some of the biggest bands of our time – and you are on the guest list…

We’re pretty sure our 10th birthday involved cake and a party bag full of plastic crap and stickers. Bilbao BBK Live, though, is infinitely cooler than us, and so will be celebrating its decade of festival put-onnery with an extra special edition. The special guests to its birthday party include headliners Muse, Mumford and Sons, and The Jesus and Mary Chain. Joining them will be Disclosure, Alt-j, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Future Islands, Azaelia Banks, Counting Crows, Of Monsters and Men, Kodaline, Of Montreal, Bleachers, Dover, The Ting Tings and more to be announced. Flying the Aussie flag are Brisbane band Sheppard and festival favourites The Cat Empire. Yeah, well, we had Timmy the cool kid at our party. So there. The three-day festival is held in Bilbao, in Basque Country, Northern Spain, from July 9-11, and it’s a steal compared to UK fests (and a lot sunnier) at £98+ booking fees including camping. The location is also unique; swapping a muddy field for a beautiful park on top of a hill, surrounded by mountains and city views. And if the lure of the ocean and the buzz of the city calls you, you can spend the day at the beach and exploring Bilbao itself, as the acts hit the stage only as the sun sets. Use the big blue hangover cure by jumping on a subway to the northern coast to Bakio beach, where you can catch some of the best waves in Europe. If you’re feeling a little too delicate, stop at Plentzia instead, which is filtered by harbour defences, so the tranquil waters are ideal for paddleboarding and kayaking, or the sheltered sand is beckoning if you simply want to face plant into it. Come afternoon, take the time to catch the exhibition at the Guggenheim. Sitting proudly in the centre of town, it is one of the city’s chief attractions, and rightly so. Standing like a towering combination of shining silver shells, its design – by Frank Gehry – is a wondrous spectacle of its own, with Jeff Koons’ giant floral Puppy standing guard at the front. You should also take the time to check out Vizcaya Bridge; a suspension bridge dating back to 1893, it is one of the

earliest of its kind – and one that is still in operation today. It holds the lofty accolade of being designed by Alberto Palacio, a protégé of Gustave Eiffel (yes he of many-a famous Parisian photo op), and offers gorgeous views across the water and back to the city. A stroll around the old town, the Casco Viejo, and a trip to the Plaza Nueva, both east of the city, allow you to venture down narrow winding streets, into ancient churches and designer shops. The local pintxos – a Basque variant of Spanish tapas – floods the streets with a delicious aroma. And as the sun starts to wane, it’s time to head back to your perch atop a hill to see some of the biggest bands on the planet. Sometimes, life simply rocks.

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EUROPEANFESTIVAL

Last year, we sent Vicky Anscombe to Bilbao BBK Live, and asked her to report her experience back to us. Here’s what she remembers of it… “I’ve always wanted to head abroad to go to a festival; friends of mine returning from Exit Festival and the likes of Benicàssim always made me madly jealous with their tales of monster hangovers, late nights, and their glorious suntans. Last year I was lucky enough to visit northern Spain (well, technically not Spain; it’s actually located in the Basque Country) for three days of fine music, enormous measures of spirits and the chance to watch The Prodigy with a cold G&T in my hand. I will confess to not roughing it (yes, we stayed in a hotel – don’t judge us), so I can’t speak for the camping area, but the main arena was a dream to behold. Large enough to accommodate the thousands that arrived from all over the world and small enough to be able to leg it from one stage to another without missing most of another band’s songs. Bilbao BBK also impressed me by not selling a huge amount of shit; it’s such a joy to not see stand after stand of luminous legwarmers, flowered headbands and spiky wristbands for sale. Expectations were high for night one – and were duly smashed. We headed off to Stage 3 (otherwise known as the Sony stage) to catch Allen Stone at 7pm, then ran to the VIP area to load up on cheap booze and watch the sun go down. We caught the tail end of White Lies’ set; hearing ‘To Lose My Life’ live was a highlight, and I’d like to apologise to everyone who I threw my drink over. John Newman followed suit (“He was on the flight? Really?” I kept rasping), and then we bided our time until Franz Ferdinand. They were worth waiting for. Taking to Stage 2 a little after midnight, they wowed the crowd with their well-known hits. I would like to say I remembered every second of their set, but all I can recall is getting nostalgic when ‘The Dark of the Matinee’ was played, and seeing someone act out a bullfight in the crowd, playing the part of both bull and matador. That must have been confusing. Day two began for us with huge, monstrous hangovers. After deciding it was the sugar in the drinks that had crucified us, we headed back to the arena at 5pm to drink more and recover to the sounds of The 1975 and Bastille. I’d always skipped them on Spotify, but live, they’re fantastic. Jack Johnson failed to win us over (as I recall, at that point we were very close to throwing our drinks and kept shouting fairly

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unkind things at him, which he probably didn’t hear), and then left the cosy, cheap booze-addled VIP area for Foster the People. They kicked off with ‘Helena Beat’, and played ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ near the end of their set. A clever trick designed to make us stay to listen to their other songs? Maybe. Either way, it worked. Next up were The Prodigy, who stormed onto the stage at 12.30am. Keith Flint appeared to be filled with rage at one point, but we soon saw that he was just a very excited man. After instructing us to let him know we were pleased he was there (‘Let me fucking hear you!’ he roared at one point), they launched into ‘Breathe’. Everyone seemed to love their set – the men standing next to me were so energetic they were in danger of imploding – but, predictably, it was ‘Firestarter’ and ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ that really brought the crowd to its knees. The final day started with us all waking in various stages of agony (that’ll be all the sugar in the drinks again), but the thought of The Black Keys spurred everyone on. Everyone except me; I was yet to be won around. Starting late, I headed off to see Band of Horses with my friend at 9pm. We didn’t know much about them except that maybe they were the relatives of Foals. We laughed ourselves ‘horse’ with that one, let me tell you. Either way, they were great; enough for me to download ‘Infinite Arms’, ‘El Camino’ and ‘Cease to Begin’ for the plane journey home. The Black Keys came onstage to a near-hysterical audience, but they were let down by their sound. I met someone later on who said that she’d been able to hold a full conversation during their set, but that’s hardly their fault. Their 90-minute set flew by; it’s fair to say that I’m a fan now. Annoyingly, I had drunk too much to fully appreciate MGMT, but the rest of the group assured me later on that I had had a whale of a time, singing along to ‘Time to Pretend’, and shaking my fist at the sky when they sang ‘The models will have children/we’ll get a divorce.’ I do remember thinking that their set was too short. My final memory of the end of the night was propping up the bar, talking big about seeing John Talabot’s DJ set (no, I didn’t make it to 4.20am), and wishing I could live the whole thing over again. I’ll be back next year – and I’ll be bringing my Pro-Plus with me.”

GETTING THERE Easyjet flies from Stansted to Bilbao and Vueling flies from Heathrow. British Airways now also operates direct flights from London Heathrow. From Bilbao airport there are regular public buses to central Bilbao. From there, the festival provides shuttle buses to the site. Alternatively, Ryanair San Sebastian operates daily flights to Santander, just an hour Bilbao bus ride to Bilbao. Bilbao BBK Live, July 9-11 2015; three-day ticket: £91 + booking fee; £98 + booking fee includes camping. bilbaobbklive.com/2015

SPAIN

Words: Alisdair Morton, Vicky Anscombe and Caroline Garnar. Photos: supplied

MY EXPERIENCE

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THE SAFE WATERS OF LAKE LANGANO We take a swim in Ethiopia’s only safe lake, and explore five more of Africa’s watery spots. By Adam Corre

Lake Victoria

FIVE GREAT LAKES TO EXPLORE IN AFRICA ›› Lake

Lake Langano The sand is not golden yellow. It’s light brown and features small, crystalline stones which glisten in the sun. In front of me is a cloudy brown lake. I’m assured the water cleanses the skin. There is an Ethiopian family, the father playing with giggly children. Elsewhere, in a charming scene, a trio of men are pretending to save one another from drowning, taking turns to be lifeguard and damsel in distress. Why all the fuss over Lake Langano? Quite simply this is the only lake without bilharzia in Ethiopia, making it a safe bet for water enthusiasts.

The journey Our journey to Langano had been a culture shock. From the relative comfort of our van it was like looking at a flickering old film. Blink and you missed it. The locals seemed bamboozled by the unfamiliar white faces. Some stared. Others waved.

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A few laughed. The pace of life was slow despite the streets brimming with the chattering masses selling all manner of items. As I look out of the window, hundreds of Orthodox Christians dressed in long white garments make their stately way to church for Sunday services.

Settled waters At Lake Langano, the waters’ edge is all but still. Opportunities for bathing in Ethiopia are rare and visitors are mainly wealthy families from Addis Ababa. This is one of the most fashionable places to go for the middle classes escaping city life. There’s a light ripple on the lake from the faintly audible breaths of wind, which disguises the intense heat. There is enough free space on the beach to switch easily between shade and sunlight, heat and cool air. I revel in the remoteness, the isolation.

Water ventures I take a motor boat tour across the waters and glided along the shoreline. Only the pelicans with their poky pink and red beaks stand out in the vast swathes of emptiness. We approach the birds in a sly ploy to capture a shot of them flying into the distance. On the third occasion it works. Later, I go fishing for the first time. In my naive pre-conceptions, I had assumed it would be easy. Like a caveman hunting for food to feed his family, I thought I’d find an abundance of tilapia fish to hand to the resort’s restaurant for grilling. How wrong I was. On one occasion I was convinced I’d caught something. The hook sunk into the foot of a perplexed, but not upset, five-year-old girl who ventured too close. To visit Lake Langano is a rare adventure, and while it may not be pretty, it keeps you in touch with nature.

Bunyoni, Uganda Its name means ‘place of many little birds’ and it is Uganda’s most popular lake. The lake encircles 29 islands. Visitors can grab a canoe and discover the surrounding exotic wildlife. ›› Lake Malawi, Malawi This long lake has a steamer chugging up and down it. With everything from kayaking to scuba diving available to visitors, there are plenty of water sports to keep you occupied. ›› Lake Victoria This is the largest lake in Africa and second biggest in the world. Archipelagos are contained within the waters as are numerous reefs. Bordering Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda, the area has more than 200 species of fish, most of which are of the tasty tilapia variety. ›› Lake Tanganyika This is the second largest lake in East Africa and the longest freshwater lake in Africa. Spectacularly large rivers discharge here including Kalambo, which has one of the highest waterfalls in the world at more than 700 feet. ›› Lake Albert Not normally on the tourist route, this lake is on the far northern tip of the Rift Valley bordering Congo and Uganda. Located at the lowest and hottest part of Uganda, hippos, crocodiles and elephants enrich the wildlife.

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48HOURS

MOSCOW

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Words: Sophie Ibbotson. Photos: supplied and iStock

YOUR WEEKEND IN MOSCOW

Ritz-Carlton The rouble has crashed and diplomatic relations have turned decidedly cold, but Moscow is still open for business. One of Europe’s most exciting capitals awaits...

DAY ONE MORNING Moscow’s traffic is infamous, so avoid the congestion by staying right in the centre of town. You can get bargain rates at the Ararat Park Hyatt (moscow. 58 00

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park.hyatt.com) and Ritz Carlton (ritzcarlton.com) at weekends, and both magnificent hotels are a stone’s throw from Red Square. Saturday’s the day to get the Cold War out of your system, so start by paying a visit to Comrade Lenin (lenin.ru), queuing with a remarkably nostalgic crowd. His red sandstone mausoleum, a truncated step pyramid, is widely considered to be one of the masterpieces of Soviet

architecture, and behind it you’ll find memorials to many other famous names from the Communist period. It’s a pretty solemn place, and also somewhat macabre, but Lenin undoubtedly changed the course of Russian history and so recognition is due. Back on Red Square, cross to the neoclassical GUM Department Store (gum.ru), built by Catherine II in the 19th century. The vaulted glass roof is reminiscent of the glass houses at Kew, and you’ll catch plenty of newly married couples posing for their wedding photos on the interior bridges and outside brand name stores. Pick up a picnic from Gastronome #1 (Moscow’s answer to Harrods Food Hall) and eat it outside while you watch the beautiful people stroll by. AFTERNOON After lunch, head down into the Moscow Metro, a tourist attraction in its own right thanks to the preponderance of sculptures, crystal chandeliers, mosaics, murals and other decorative artworks. A one-day Smartcard costs RUB210 (about £2.20) and gives you unlimited

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access to the metro, buses, trams and the monorail, valid for 24 hours from activation. Take the train to Taganskaya on Line 5, the Circle Line. You’re heading for House 11 on 5th Kotelnichesky Lane, otherwise known as Bunker 42 (bunker42.com). From the street it looks like any other suburban residential building, but appearances can be deceiving: this is in fact the entrance to Stalin’s nuclear bunker. It was dug out 65m below ground during the 1950s and now houses the Cold War Museum. Many of the rooms are still set up with their original equipment, you can experience a simulated nuclear strike, and even press the proverbial big red button to annihilate a metropolis in the West. If this wasn’t exciting enough, you can even take over the bunker for a game of laser quest!

St Basil’s

EVENING Whether you’re normally an opera and ballet fan or not, go to the Bolshoi Theatre (bolshoi.ru) tonight. Not only is it the most famous stage in the world, but it’s recently undergone a $1.1bn renovation. The interior is stunning, the atmosphere in the auditorium is electric, and if you turn up at the box office just before a performance, you can pick up a ticket for as little as £1.05. When the rapturous applause finally ends, you’re just a block away from arguably the best bar in Moscow, the O2 on the rooftop of the Ritz-Carlton. The O2 has panoramic views across the Kremlin and St Basil’s (both of which are floodlit at night) and you can drink your way through an innovative Russian cocktail menu that includes the Coronation Imperiale (a decadent twist on a Black Russian), a Moscow Mule mixed with Polugar, and, for literature lovers, the Zhivago.

DAY 2 MORNING Muscovites love Sunday brunch, and you can certainly do worse than spend the morning eating. The Ararat Park Hyatt serves up a brunch banquet with unlimited wine and live jazz for under £50, but if your budget won’t stretch quite that far, instead head to Correa’s on Gasheka Street (eng.correas.ru) for great coffee and Italian-style pastries and cakes. You can sit outside on the terrace in summer.

Lenin’s mausoleum

AFTERNOON Roll out of brunch and into one of Moscow’s incredible museums. Fine art lovers should head to the Tretyakov Gallery (tretyakovgallery.ru), which began as a private collection in the 1850s. Indisputable highlights include Vrubel’s vast Princess of Dreams (transferred here from the Bolshoi), works by Malevich and Chagall, and a gallery of icons that are simply breathtaking in their beauty. If you’d rather look at objects than paintings, pick the Kremlin Armoury (kreml.ru), which exhibits more than 4,000 pieces of weaponry, textiles, jewels and precious metals, including state regalia belonging to the tsars. Inside the Kremlin itself, the museum’s surroundings perfectly offset the collection. Tickets are £7.50 for adults but free for under-18s. EVENING You might be surprised, but Moscow is gaining traction as a gastronomic centre, and you can taste it for yourself at Varvary (anatolykomm.ru), Anatoly Komm’s molecular deconstruction restaurant. Here Russian favourites have been catapulted into the 21st century in style, and you can try spherified borscht with foie gras or Kamchatka crab with liquid nitrogen sour cream. Dress up for the occasion, soak up the atmosphere and watch the sun go down across Moscow from the terrace.

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< £250 NUBIAN ADVENTURE Discover the secrets of Egypt with this classic nine-day tour from £224.25 – a TNT Tour Search Exclusive 25% discount. Visit the Great Pyramids in Cairo before heading to Aswan and Luxor in the Nile Valley and enjoying a traditional felucca cruise down the Nile. Does not include external flights, departs various dates throughout 2015, must be booked by April 15th. tnttoursearch.com ALGARVE, PORTUGAL Seven nights all-inclusive accommodation at the 3-star Albufeira Jardim Apartments on the Algarve for £137pp. Situated 15mins from the beach and under 1Km from the city centre, with a bus stop directly outside the complex, this modern Aparthotel has three swimming pools and plenty of other facilities for a great stay. icelolly.com COPENHAGEN, DENMARK Two nights B&B at the 3-star First Hotel Excelsior in Copenhagen from £124.69pp. Situated just a few minutes walk from transport links, the Tivoli and Strøget shopping street, an ideal spot to explore Copenhagen. Includes return flights from London Luton, departs May 14th. holidays.easyjet.com

£250-500 SPLIT-DUBROVNIK, CROATIA Eight days to soak up Split’s Mediterranean vibes at a waterfront bar, visit the long pebbly beaches and palm-fringed promenade of Makarska, experience the trendy Dalmatian hotspot of Hvar and trek up to its hilltop fortress. Captivate yourself in the Venetian architecture at the small fishing town of Korcula, before entering the beautiful harbour and unspoilt village of Trstenik. Conclude your sailing in the ‘Pearl of the Adriatic’, Dubrovnik – all for £499! Does not include external flights, departs Split May 24th. traveltalktours.com

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> £500 RUSSIA CITY TWIN CENTRE A six-night twin-centre city break in Moscow and St Petersburg from £649pp. Threenights B&B at the 5-star Hotel Metropol Moscow and three nights bed & breakfast accommodation at the 5-star Vasilievsky Hotel in St Petersburg. Includes return flights from London Heathrow departing on various dates between April 10th and December 11th. travelinteraction.co.uk LAS VEGAS, USA Five nights room only accommodation at Bally’s Las Vegas from £744pp. Located on the strip, the hotel offers all amenities along with a small on-site casino. Includes return flights from London Heathrow, departs April 23rd. virginholidays.co.uk

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WINNER WINNER SHEIKH ZAYED MOSQUE, ABU DHABI Casey Hines, Gilbert, Arizona This mosque is hauntingly beautiful, unfathomable in size, breathtakingly ornate and incredibly powerful. For so many reasons, the significance of it all really affected me as I walked around. Everyone should visit here, I was humbled, provided with great perspective, and forever changed. I challenge you to challenge yourself.

RUNNER-UP JUMPING INTO LAKE TAHOE, USA Sandra Forsythe, Palmerston North, New Zealand When you come from NZ you wonder if anywhere in the world could be as beautiful, but I have to say Lake Tahoe comes a bloody close second. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND OR A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE VOUCHER! To be in with a chance of winning one of these fantastic prizes, simply upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots to be put into a regular prize draw. First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £258 from Haggis Adventures (does not include accommodation, haggisadventures.com). The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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Lavendar fields of Provence

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Vive la France France is fit to bursting with amazing experiences, but where to start? Help is at hand: here’s the low-down on a few of our favourite French regions. Just don’t forget to send us a postcard…

Best for activities: The Alps An adrenaline junkie? Then the French Alps – with its amazing snow-capped peaks, mountain chalets, icy rivers, lakes, hiking trails and bike paths – is the destination for you. Mont Blanc towers – well it’s not Europe’s highest summit for nothing – above some of the world’s most famous ski resorts. After snowboarding in Tignes and skiing in Les Arcs, enjoy a raft of après-ski activities in the lively, student-packed town of Grenoble. If the cold stuff isn’t for you, head for La Clusaz where you can hike the spectacular Via Ferrata – the alpine route once used by partisans to carry munitions, or try white water rafting in the Giffre River, which fumes and foams its way through the narrow Tines gorge. Europe’s highest town, Briançon, is a great destination for cyclists seeking a challenge. A Unesco world heritage site since 2008, this high-flung town, conceived by engineering wizard Vauban, is an amazing labyrinth of 17th- and 18th-century forts and star-shaped fortifications where you can wander a while before whizzing through breathtaking scenery to the panoramic Col Du Lautaret. If you want to get higher still, head for Annecy, where you can glide over this stunning medieval town known as the region’s paragliding capital, before hiring a canoe and paddling around this pretty city’s vast lake. WHAT ELSE? For a change of pace, make for Grenoble’s fabulous Muséedes Beaux-Arts where you can discover Chagall, Matisse and more. Alternatively soothe those bumps and bruises in one of Courchevel’s sumptuous spas. Best for sun and sea: Provence In search of the three Ss (that’s sun, sand and sea)? Provence – whose luminous landscapes inspired artist Van Gogh – is where it’s at. Whether it’s aniseed-scented Marseilles pastis, the glorious sheltered calanques (creeks) of Cassis, or that catchy tune ‘Sur Le Pont d’Avignon’, Provence is the place to head when you want to have fun in the sun. In France’s second largest city you can wander for days along cobbled streets discovering Roman ruins and eclectic museums, shopping in the old city’s bustling bazaars, supping

Avignon Bridge, Provence traditional Bouillabaisse fish stew in one of the cafes along the old port, or just lazing on one of the glorious beaches in nearby La Ciotat. When it’s time to flash that tan, make your way to the celebrity-studded beaches of St Tropez, or join crowds wandering along La Croisette in famed film festival venue, Cannes. Once you’ve had enough of those madding crowds, ride a bike into the wild and wonderful Camargue region, where you can spot pretty pink flamingos and white horses, picnic in the dunes or simply swim from some of Provence’s best beaches. WHAT ELSE? Soak up some culture in the museums and sites of medieval Avignon. If you’re in town on the weekend, seek out Isle sur la Sorgue – the place to pick up some cool shades and other vintage bargains in the city’s vast marché aux puces (flea market). TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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DO SOMETHING SIMILAR HIGHLIGHTS OF FRANCE WITH INTREPID TRAVEL Nine days, from £1,700 Sensuous cuisine, movie-set monuments and more art and history than you can shake a stick at – France is the number one tourist destination in the world for a reason. tnttoursearch.com/tours/highlights-of-france

RULING THE RIVERIA WITH GECKOS ADVENTURES Eight days, from £1,130 Avast, me hearties! It’s talk like a pirate day for five days straight on a go-with-the-flow cruise around the French Riviera’s islands and beaches. tnttoursearch.com/tours/ruling-the-riviera-reverse-2015

FRANCE AND SPAIN WITH INTREPID TRAVEL 29 days, from £3,595 Join this adventure from romantic Paris to cosmopolitan Barcelona and be captivated by the culture and history of France and Spain. tnttoursearch.com/tours/france-spain

FRANCE AND ITALY ADVENTURE WITH G ADVENTURES 14 days, from £1,799 Sip wine in Burgundy, feast on local delicacies in Provence, follow scenic tracks along Italy’s Cinque Terre coast and raise your glass to the best of France and Italy. tnttoursearch.com/tours/france-and-italy-adventure-2015

ALPINE FESTIVE TREK WITH BUSABOUT 12 days, from £819 France, Switzerland, Austria, Germany & Czech Republic. Brace yourself for a magical festive escapade through the heart of Europe that will leave you stunned, enthralled and more than a little excited. tnttoursearch.com/tours/alpine-festive-trek

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Best for foodies: Wine Country Visiting gourmands will be in seventh heaven in France but equally, so will oenophiles. Boasting more than five dozen different appellations, Bordeaux is an ideal destination for wine lovers. Hire a bike to get around this pancake-flat city and make a beeline for the Musée du Vin et du Négoce to learn more about the city’s long wine history. Next, pedal over to Quartier St-Pierre and sample local specialities such as Lamproie à la Bordelaise (lamprey eels in red wine sauce) and Esturgeon à la Libournaise (sturgeon in a white wine sauce) in one of the cafes on this lively central square. The next morning, get up early and head out of the Route de Médoc to sample some of the region’s celebrated wines. Alternatively, head north to Burgundy’s medieval capital Beaune, where vines have been grown along the banks of the river Saone for several millenniums. Here you can view winemakers’ tools and learn about local traditions in the Musee de la Vigne et du Vin then head out on a walking tour of the surrounding villages to sample some of those dry red wines made from Pinot noir grapes and white wines made from Chardonnay grapes in local farms. WHAT ELSE? Had your fill of wine? Make a beeline for Cognac, home of fine brandy since the Middle Ages, where you can visit the ancient Cognac houses, learn how the brew is made, then sample some of that heady brown stuff in cafes and restaurants along the cobbled streets of this picturesque town beside the Charente river. Best for romance: Paris Paris has long been viewed as one of the most romantic destinations in the world and rightly so: whether you dine by candlelight as you glide along the Seine river, hold hands as you stroll through the hip-and-happening Latin quarter or lock eyes while sipping a cocktail at the top of the Eiffel Tower, romance is never far away. But love can’t survive on an empty stomach, so when you need to feed the flame pick up a snack at Bastille, the city’s best food market, or splurge on some creative cuisine at the achingly atmospheric, celebrity-loved gourmet restaurant Le Grand Vefour. Then you can burn off the extra calories consumed together by hiring a tandem from Paris Velo Sympa and taking a tour of the city’s sights. Next up, it’s time to check out some of the Latin Quarter’s legendary nightlife: we can vouch for Les Bains Douches. Well if this glamorous club is good enough for the likes of Leo DiCaprio… WHAT ELSE? Play at being a millionaire by window shopping along Champs Elysees and check out Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile at the Louvre. Next up is the Gothic Notre Dame – often referred to as ‘Our Lady’, Paris’s most visited unticketed site is arguably the most famous of all cathedrals.

This copy has been updated by Kaye Holland from the TNT archives. Original copy by Heidi Fuller-Love Images: iStock

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The insider's guide to France Meet Little Bec, the petite shining star of the Topdeck road crew. Though originally from a small town outside of Perth, Australia, Bec spends so much time in France it is practically her second home. Splitting her time between her homeland and journeys around Europe with our passengers, she’s a seasoned traveller. In other words, she knows what she’s talking about. Here are her top tips for what to do en France to get the most envy-fuelled ‘likes’ on Instagram. ›› Chill out on the beach in Nice – Claim your spot on the Promenade des Anglais and get your tan on at one of the most sublime beaches along the French Riviera. You’ll have a front row seat to checking out For vulture the theculture city’s lush locals. For those who like to ›› Sip champagne in Montmartre – This lively immerse themselves in neighbourhood behind the Sacré-Cœur Basilica is cultural experiences while perched on a hill in northern Paris and home to the travelling, the Hammam de most breathtaking view of the city. Meander the la Mosquee du Paris is an winding streets before grabbing a glass of bubbly ideal destination. Visitors at one of the local eateries in time to watch the sunset, can respectfully spend time pinching yourself as you soak in the cityscape. in the mosque and book a ›› Enjoy a picnic in Avignon – Nestled on the banks of massage in the hammam the Rhône river with a view of Pont D’Avignon and for after. Enjoy the Palais des Papes, the city looks like one of those wonderful architecture of picture-perfect postcards. Grab your mates along with the mosque, and the Salon some local vin rouge and fromage and indulge in the de Thè, which serves honey most Instagram-able picnic of your life. pastries and North African ›› Actually taste the wine in Bordeaux – Home to tea. la-mosquee.com/ some of the world’s best, the pressure is on to enjoy as htmlfr/hammamfr.htm much wine as possible. But truth be told, you won’t have enough time to visit all of the city’s wineries. My advice? Pick one, then taste all they have to offer. ››

Soak up some cafe culture in Paris

Visit vineyards and chateaux

Bike ride through Paris – Apart from some hilly areas in the north of the city, the wide boulevards and ample bike lanes make Paris a cyclist’s dream. Get lost riding around the cobblestoned side streets and discover hidden gems you’d never have come across had you taken the metro. You’ll cover more ground than your pedestrian counterparts and get a chance to see the city like a local. Ride through the Tuileries Garden to the Musée D’Orangarie to cap off the perfect afternoon admiring Monet’s ‘Water Lilies’.

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Warm up your girls’ weekend topdeck.travel in Paris at HammaPacha

Rock tombs in Dalyan

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A tale of two countries Just an hourâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flight apart, why not combine your trip to tried-and-tested Thailand with up-and-coming Burma...

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BIGTRIP

Burmese days by James Briggs

‘Oh, watch out for snakes’. These were the last words breezily uttered by the Burmese man hiring us a pair of bicycles. Now, a few hours later in the bruising heat of Bagan, sure enough, there was a hissing sound coming from below my pedals... Myanmar (aka Burma) is currently in more top 10s than Jason Donovan ever was. It’s become this year’s must see destination. In terms of hits, it has many, but arguably its greatest is Bagan. Spilling out from the banks of the Irrawaddy river, among the sunburnt palm fronds and lanky green grass lie more than 2,000 temples. Stories abound as to why this royal city was abandoned in the thirteenth century, whether because of Mongol invasion, or that they too were driven out by terrible asps. Or a flat tyre. Looking down it wasn’t a pair of fangs clamped in my deflated wheel, but a sizeable thorn. Marco Polo once described Bagan as ‘one of the finest sites in the world’, possibly because he hadn’t explored it on a bike too vintage even for the most committed hipster. Throwing 50 shades of colourful language at my ride, I become aware of a man sat in a haze of smoke as he drew lazily on a cheroot from under the shade of a palm tree. He pointed to a sign, ‘Bike repair’. In this most spiritual of places, my prayers were swiftly answered. PulIing the inner tube from the tire, which had more patches than a three-eyed pirate, he delivered his professional opinion on its hirer, “You want to throw the bike at him.” When Orwell and Kipling had written their love letters to this corner of South-East Asia, it had been of another time, name and era. Burma and its colonial past long gone, now, after years under a shady military junta, sanctions have been lifted and the curtain raised on modern Myanmar. The locals remain reluctant to talk at length about the government for fear of being overheard by spies. But, curious of the outside world, they offer endearing assistance, gentle curiosity and chit chat about food, family and who exactly are Tottenham Hotspur. The Myanmar people live by the sun. When it’s up, so are they. And given it was pitch black when we trundled towards a temple for sunrise, they were, of course, fast asleep. Stood among a fandango of farmyard animals, my girlfriend said, “Go and wake him up.” The ‘him’ being a keyholder, a local who lives next to the temple. “But he’s asleep,” I protested, stating the obvious as we watched him snore. The chickens and pigs seemed to like this dawn pantomime. Stopping short of coaxing a cockle-doodle-do out of one of them, a subtle coughing fit seemed to do the trick. The keyholder ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

BIGTRIP

BURMA BUCKET LIST Hsipaw. The gateway to Shan hills; here the snakes are green, the green tea is fresh and the morning breeze fresher still. Overnight treks can be arranged spend the night in tea picking villages. Ngapali. Myanmar’s finest stretch of beach is Ngapali. Its warm waters and crescent of golden sand are shared by tourists, fishing communities and colourful crabs. Dine out on snapper, swim, snorkel and sunset. Repeat. Inle Lake. Nyaungshwe is the jumping off point to see traditional fishermen, stilt houses and floating allotments. There’s even a jumping cat monastery. Or save your sea legs and explore tofu cottage industries and hillside vineyards by bike.

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unlocked the temple with a snoozy smile and shuffled back to bed. We had the pitch black to ourselves. As the stars faded, the air warmed and ignited the horizon. An ember of yellow, then red, burned away the darkness, uncloaked the ethereal stupas and pagodas. At the same time a silent cascade of balloons pierced the violet dawn. Without sound, a local selling his paintings had joined us. Showing flagrant regard for a business model, he said, “I prefer the quiet temples, too.” One down, 1,999 to go. We spent the morning biking around powder dust tracks and peering into temples, each hiding peeling frescos, gilded Buddahs and stories to tell. The grand Dhammayangyi Pahto temple, it is said, possibly truthfully, by the eight-year-old boy stood next to me, was built by King Narathu to atone for his sins after smothering his father and brother to death. Exchanging one gulp for another we took respite from murderous monarchs with a bowl of Shan noodle soup – a hotchpotch of spicy broth, pungent tamarind and fresh greens. With stomachs and bike tyres filled, we hopped aboard our rusting steeds and cycled into the sunset. We also cycled into a Burmese version of wacky races. Weaving between cows and bush scrub were speeding tour buses, e-bikers and horse-drawn carriages. Meanwhile, a lone farmer walked gracefully against the tide, herding his goats homeward. Oh well, If you can’t beat the crowds, join them. That’s probably no traveller’s mantra, ever. But, they also say beauty is best shared, so we all watched the sun sink into the Irrawaddy together. As night fell, so did the selfie sticks. The tour buses departed, leaving only clouds of dust, and us. We’d found our solitude again. With the temples cloaked by a glistening stage curtain of stars, we turned to head back with only a head torch and shallow moon to light the way. Then, once more, came that faintly familiar hissing sound. DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: The Spiritual Burma tour with Tucan Travel includes three days exploring Bagan by bicycle. 14 days, from £1,205.10, tnttoursearch.com/tours/ spiritual-burma

Mandalay and Yangon. These steamy metropolises have their own calling cards. In Yangon it’s the tea shops fuelling this bustling city and the glimmering Shwedagon Pagoda. And in Mandalay visit the bucolic hills of Sagaing, the ruins of Inwa and the world’s longest teak footbridge – U-Bein Bridge.

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Irrawaddy Smile. Not technically a destination. But sometimes it’s the people who make the places and the Burmese smile is as wide as the Irrawaddy itself. Courteous, friendly and with a gentle sense of humour, if the balmy temperatures don’t warm you to the country, the locals will. For more tours to Burma, visit tnttoursearch.com

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Transport across Inle Lake

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Top five Thailand Majestic mountains, palm fringed beaches, Buddhist temples, happy herds of elephants, fabulous food and lively nightlife… yes, Thailand is, without a doubt, one of the peak experiences in travel. Here we select our favourite things to do and places to see in the land of smiles.

Khao San Road

Bangkok Bangkok may be a famous party city, but it boasts more than its fair share of culture. Start the day by checking out Bangkok’s wats. (What? Aka Buddhist temples). Probably the most visited is Wat Phra Kaew This compound boasts intricately decorated temples, giant gold stupas, and the Emerald Buddha – Thailand’s most holy image. After you’ve got the sightseeing out of the way, it’s time to go shopping. If you’re in town at the weekend, don’t miss Chatuchak Weekend Market where more than 5,000 stalls vie for your attention. Everything and anything is for sale, from clothes and trinkets, to live snakes. When night falls, pop over to Patpong – Asia’s seedy underbelly. Sure the place is packed with middle-aged men ogling bikini-clad pole dancers, but it also attracts curious tourists keen to snatch a few stolen glances of planet Patpong after buying dozens of bootleg DVDs at the night market. Finish off your evening on the legendary Khao San Road – made household-name famous by Alex Garland’s bestselling novel The Beach – where the rowdy strip of backpacker bars parties on until dawn.

Bangkok floating market

DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Explore Bangkok for three days with Intrepid Travel including a bike tour. Three days, from £305, tnttoursearch.com/tours/bangkok-stopover Chiang Rai In the country’s far north, Chiang Rai – aka the ‘rose of the north’ – is a compact, (reasonably) laid-back city and a good base for exploring the surrounding jungle, with treks visiting hill tribes and outlying regions, or organising a trip into Laos for a boat trip down the Mekong. In the city itself, most travellers come for the temples – the province is home to no fewer than 300 wats. Wat Phra Singh – housing the Lion Buddha – and Wat Chedi Luang are both worth a look. However to see the region’s most treasured temple – Wat Phra That Doi Suthep – you’ll have to hire a red ‘sawngthaew’ (pick–up truck taxi) for an afternoon.

Wat Phra Singh night market TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The temple dates to the 14th century and is purported to house the Buddha’s shoulder bone, carried to the site by a white elephant. It is reached via a monumental 304-step staircase flanked by a restored monastery. When you’re tired of temples, make a beeline for Doi Suthep-Pui National Park – elephant trekking, hiking and river rafting are just a few of the options on offer. In the evening, life revolves around the famous night market. This buzzing bazaar is home to a multitude of stalls, selling cheap clothes, as well as good-quality handicrafts. DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: The North Thailand Hilltribes Trek with G Adventures takes you trekking in the north jungle. Five days, from £199, tnttoursearch.com/tours/northern-thailandhilltribes-trek-2015 Koh Chang Koh Chang is Thailand’s second biggest island and it’s five hours’ drive and a half-hour ferry ride from Bangkok. Yet just a decade ago, when Phuket (the country’s largest island) was exploding as a world-famous tourist destination, Koh Chang still had no electricity or phones. Most of Koh Chang’s interior, along with the other 41 islets in the archipelago, is now part of the Mu Koh Chang National Park, so the brash development that plagued other Thai resorts has been relatively subdued here. Some complain that Koh Chang is changing quickly, but even at the larger tourist resorts the beaches are pristine and can appear to be spectacularly remote. At Klong Prao, you drive to the end of a dirt track where a boatman waits to paddle you across the mangrove-lined channels to a great swathe of white sand and swaying palms. The water 70

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Head for the islands...

is perpetually warm, and even at night the air is balmy. Many of the restaurants and hotels along these canals offer romantic afterdinner boat rides through the mangroves, where cicadas chirp, frogs croak, and the trees flicker with fireflies. DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: The Thailand Family Adventure with G Adventures includes three days of chilling on Koh Chang. 12 days from £999, tnttoursearch.com/tours/thailand-familyadventure-2015 Koh Pha Ngan Haad Rin, the beach on the far south of Koh Pha Ngan, is notorious for having the wildest, most debauched full moon parties in Thailand. Long-standing traditions for a night out here include tripping out on magic mushroom shakes (not that we’d recommend it), drinking buckets (yes, actual buckets) of Sang Som rum with Thailand’s lethal version of Red Bull, painting faces with fluorescent squiggles, jumping through burning skipping ropes and watching fire poi … in no particular order, but always followed by a rave on the beach that lasts until the sun comes up. If you’re feeling a little toxic after a few days of partying here, give the boozing a break and make the most of all the sports. There are two Muay Thai boxing schools on the island where you can sign up for lessons (kobramuaythai.com) or you can join in games of beach football, table tennis or volleyball at sundown on most of the bigger beaches. DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: TruTravel’s 13-day full moon experience ends with a bang on Koh Pha Ngan. 13 days, from £594, tnttoursearch.com/tours/trutravels-13-day-full-moon-experience

The Similan Islands Practically every list of the world’s best diving locations rates the Similan Islands near the top, and that’s because they have some of the most jaw-dropping underwater sights. The archipelago of nine islands is a National Marine Park with calm, clear waters (up to 30m visibility) that are ideal for underwater explorations. The west coast is famous for its huge granite boulders that peek above the water’s surface and drop up to 50m underwater, creating tunnels and swim-throughs for divers to investigate. Keep an eye out for the clown triggerfish and the white-tip reef sharks here, along with rare oriental and harlequin sweetlips (both psychedelic-looking creatures). On the east coast of the island there are lush coral gardens with sea anemones and a wide variety of reef fish, and if you’re lucky you might catch a glimpse of ghost pipefish, sea moths, frogfish and ribbon eels. Of the many famous dive sites here, Elephant Head, East of Eden and Christmas Point are three of the most popular. DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Explore the Similan Islands on a camping trip with Bamba Experience. Three days, £257.43, tnttoursearch.com/tours/similan-islands-campingadventure-3d2n For more tours to Thailand, visit tnttoursearch.com

BURMA & THAILAND DO SOMETHING SIMILAR: Intrepid Travel offers a tour from Burma to Thailand. 14 days, from £1,360. tnttoursearch.com/tours/burma-to-thailand

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TRAVELTIPS

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LONELY PLANET’S TRAVEL TIPS FOUR UNMISSABLE ROAD TRIPS

Looking for an adventure on four wheels? Emma Sparks from Lonely Planet helps you exchange the mayhem of rush hour for the freedom of the open road with these must-try road trips.

Sardinia

SARDINIA, ITALY The compact island of Sardinia is blessed with a sigh-worthy coastline. Many of the most beautiful coves and attractions are only accessible by car, so it’s well worth renting your own vehicle. In the summer traffic can be heavy, but locals are fairly patient with visitors – albeit pretty speedy on the road themselves! Spring and autumn are ideal for leisurely drives. Plot your route allowing for stops at wine-producing agriturismi (farm-stay accommodation). Top tip: Skip the tourist boat from Alghero and drive your way up steep and winding cliff-side roads to reach the entrance to Grotto di Nettuno, a beautiful, well-lit sea cave filled with intricate rock formations.

geothermal wonders to behold. Top tip: The ring road is a great way to see the island, but do take the odd detour inland to find hidden villages and unbeatable scenery.

ICELAND’S RING ROAD Reykjavik and the blue lagoon are wonderful, but too many tourists fail to venture any further. If you want to see more, rent a car in the capital and take at least a week to explore the fascinating island independently. There are scores of hidden waterfalls and

MONTENEGRO Montenegro may be emerging as the next big thing for sun-worshipping budget travellers, but it remains vastly underrated when it comes to road trips. Sparkling Mediterranean coastline paired with a dramatic mountainous interior make for prime scenic drives.

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Start with the Bay of Kotor, continuing south-east until you find yourself cradled between mountains and ocean. Roads can be challenging but the views are worth it. Don’t miss Hair-raising hairpins will soon be forgotten once you reach the top of Mt Lovcen, which rewards the brave with unbelievable views. UNITED KINGDOM London. Check. Oxford. Check. Cambridge. Check. Branch out from the standard UK day trips to discover the real beauty of the British Isles. The rugged coastlines of West Wales and Cornwall are perfect for long weekends. You could even take the ferry to the Isle of Wight, where traffic is light, locals are relaxed and the scenery, divine. It is possible to follow a loop around the whole island, passing through picturesque villages as you go. Don’t miss The Needles, Isle of Wight. Take the A3055 west along the spectacular south coast until you reach The Needles, three chalk stacks that rise out of the sea like teeth.

Photos: iStock

Emma Sparks

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LIFESTYLE CAREERS | LIVING | CLASSIFIEDS | DESPERATELY SEEKING

DID YOU GETTY IT? To promote their latest film, Unfinished Business, out in cinemas now, Vince Vaughn, Dave Franco and Tom Wilkinson had their heads superimposed onto stock business images available on Getty. Points for innovative marketing, lads. As we spend a lot of our time scrolling through such images, we found it snigger-inducing, but were surprised at how viral it went. It seems Vaughnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mug makes anything funny.

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The simple life Enjoy the beautiful English countryside by getting a farming job for the sunny(ish) season... We don’t know about you, but one of the things that struck us as our plane descended into England is how hugely green it is. We know this isn’t exactly a revelation – it is known as the ‘green and pleasant land’ after all – but we were still gawping out of our window at the patchwork fields that seemed to stretch for miles. It seems a shame, then, to spend all your time in the Big Smoke as spring begins to bloom, when there’s fresh air, lolloping lambs and fields of corn calling out to you. If you’ve got farming experience, then why not spend the season living the rural life? Here, TNT looks at agricultural jobs, so you can spend your spring and summer getting your hands dirty, rather than your lungs... 76

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What roles are available? Whether you see yourself astride a tractor or you’re comfortable having your hand up a sheep’s, er, front bottom, there are various jobs to keep you busy on the farm. Nigel Merriam, who is the coowner of 4xtrahands.com which posts vacancies for agricultural and rural jobs, tells us they currently have more than 100 jobs vacant. “Typical vacancies are herd managers, shepherds, lambers, pig stock people, beef workers, tractor drivers, harvester drivers, sprayer operators, plant operators (360s, backhoes, dumpers), fencers, estate workers and groundwork operators.” To apply, simply visit 4extrahands. com, register as a worker, fill in an

online CV form – enter lots of details about your experience – and apply!

Who are they looking for? “You are unlikely to find a job without some expertise or prior training,” says Merriam. “Employers are looking for people with qualifications or experience in modern agriculture and rural work. Modern farming is very technical,” he adds. The good news is, the work is perfect for expats looking to earn a quick buck to spend on travelling. “Farming in Europe fits in well seasonally. We have many Kiwis and Aussies who do the European harvest – June to October – then hay, silage and harvest, which will earn them a lot of money. They either save it or use it to go to Thailand for three months!” says Merriam.

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB

Words: Caroline Garnar. Photos: iStock.

Taking her creative passion to the next level and becoming an artist in London was a daunting yet rewarding decision for Eva Lis, as she explains here...

Help bring these little fellas into the world

Also, what was primarily seen as a male environment is opening up more and more to women. “Females are now really making big inroads into livestock farming, especially dairy and lambing jobs,” tells Merriam.

The pros and cons? Alongside the aforementioned perks of getting plenty of fresh air (even if it often doesn’t smell like it) and soaking up the beautiful countryside, you will earn a decent wage and have minimal outgoings, with accommodation often provided and cheap, farm-grown produce to feast on. Plus you’re not stuck in an office – bonus! The cons are that the hours can be long, with very early mornings likely – but then the more hours you work, the more money you get. It’s quite tough physically, but it’s a great way to keep fit. If the weather is poor, you might get stuck out in it, or your hours, and therefore money, might be cut.

Where are the jobs? If you’re a city slicker, this industry obviously isn’t for you. “Unsurprisingly, there are not many farms in London!”

My job involves... being flexible and finding creative solutions. When I have an idea, I need to translate it into a clear vision which I can then articulate. From this point, I need to seek a way to make it happen – I need to find a space to show it, get permission, find funding, set it up, promote it, document it etc. Being an artist is like being a child and a businessman at the same time. You are responsible for everything from the initial idea through to its manifestation, display, promotion and the response of the audience. The most rewarding part of my job is... getting to know yourself. Managing your own time, belonging to a community of like-minded people and being an eternal kid helps you to do this. It’s great not having to be any particular way and abide to others’ expectations. It’s also very rewarding to emotionally touch people through my work. My advice for anyone looking to get into this industry is… mingle with like-minded people, create a website, approach galleries, show your work on a regular basis. Promotion and networking is as important as the work itself. Take on internships and art residencies, and even organise talks and presentations. It is a good way to create international networks, build your portfolio and be seen as an international and professional artist.

laughs Merriam. “A few are within an hour of central London. The majority are further away, but all within a sixhour train trip.” If you want the best of both worlds, there are small city farms, community gardens or horticulture centres in London you could try for work. Places such as Mudchute and Hackney City Farm are generally volunteer run, but if you have any special experience with farming, you may be able to earn some cash by helping out with the animals wooloo.org/artists/13599 or crops. Working in a garden centre or tending to greenhouses in places such as Kew Gardens is a good option if you have some knowledge of plants. Farmgarden. Harvest workers, experienced milkers, org.uk promote community fencers, tractor drivers and all farm staff. managed green spaces and they have some great job listings.

Looking for work?

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You can do it! The London Marathon is mere weeks away. Bricking it? No probs, just read our top tips and you’ll reach that finish line in no time Get in the right mind set

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Even if you’ve been training hard, it’s important not to lose focus in these final weeks. You may have been running for a while now, but appear to have hit a brick wall when it comes to beating your personal best – or making any achievements of any kind. This negative psychology can significantly affect your running and impede you from reaching your goals. As you begin to appreciate the importance of your mindset, however, you’ll improve and you’ll wonder what all the pessimism was about. Marathon enthusiast Curt Davies says that surrounding yourself with positive people is a big part of this. “Is your ‘friend’ being a mean old so-and-so who brings you down all the time? What about your brother or sister? You need to get rid of them. Each and every one of them,” says Davies, somewhat dramatically. “Write a list, and cross them off. Block them from Facebook. They’re not

worth your time. Now, here comes the more appealing part: finding the good people, and building a relationship with them. Whether they’re family, friends, or strangers, you need people who will be there for you when you need them the most.” A good place to start is with fellow marathon runners, as you’ll be going through the same thing, and can train together in the run-up to the big day. It’ll also be motivating to see some familiar faces at the marathon, and you can give each other support and encouragement as you go.

Set realistic goals Davies also advises that you don’t set your sights too high... “When it comes to your marathon running goals, let’s face it – beating the Kenyans is far from realistic… unless you’re Kenyan yourself. These guys are born to run. People like myself are born to sit around and eat chocolate all day. “However, there’s more to it than meets

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Run in these awesome trainers covered in red phone boxes. The Brooks London Ghost 7 is available to pre-order at sweatshop .co.uk

the eye. When you set an unrealistic goal, and fail miserably at all your attempts to reach it, you begin to doubt yourself. That’s not to say you shouldn’t challenge yourself, but take it one step at a time. Start with small targets, and build your way up. It’s more fun that way.” This goes for training, and the day itself. Don’t think about the full 26 miles – take it in bite-size chunks instead, perhaps focusing on getting from one rest stop to another.

Crank up your last-minute training Two new classes have been developed specifically with people training for a challenge in mind, so why not give them a go before the big day? Every bit of training helps! Project Fit RUN and Project Fit CORE have been designed to complement one another, to help you progress your running ability, strength and stamina, while reducing the risk of injury. Treadmill-based, one-hour Project Fit RUN sessions focus on developing muscular endurance and increasing aerobic capacity. You will do hill climbs, intense intervals and sprints, with periods of sustained effort and recovery to ensure you can run faster, and for longer. To progress your endurance training further, the 35-minute floor-based Project Fit CORE class has been designed to specifically strengthen the muscles needed for challenge training to ensure enhanced

Best not to compete with these guys...

results. The class includes those beauts we all know and hate, such as planks, squats and lunges. Visit project-fit.co.uk.

Wear the right trainers All men may be created equal, but all feet are not. Some turn in while they run, while others turn out. The right shoe can correct your gait, and can make even the most pronounced twists neutral. In order to match each runner with the perfect shoe, Sweatshop (sweatshop.co.uk) performs a gait analysis, where they film and analyse your run on a treadmill. Full-time staffers are trained in biomechanics so they know their stuff. The shoes cost money, obvs, but this useful assessment is free.

Rehydrate properly Sweat is as distinct as our fingerprints, with some folks’ perspiration saltier than others. As such, the amount of sodium you should ingest to refuel will vary greatly from person to person. That’s why precision hydration – where you figure out how much you should drink and what should be in it – is popular in athletic circles. The Physio4Life Clinic in Putney (physio4life.co.uk) administers sweat tests, and pairs runners with the correct dosage of electrolytes, so you can refuel effectively before, during, and after the marathon. Good luck!

RUNNING ROUTES

Liam Barrett from The Fit Scene (thefitscene.com) specialises in getting people fit on the streets of London, so he knows all the best running routes. He suggests these two for good views and a bit of culture while you’re at it. 1. THE CANAL ROUTE Start at Warwick Avenue (yes, from that Duffy song) and head north-east along Blomfield Road, before crossing over Edgware Road and going along Aberdeen Place. Here, there are steps taking you to the Greenway, which is an undisturbed path all along Regents Canal. Soon, the mansions are replaced with birds, monkeys and other animals, as London Zoo borders both sides of the canal. As the canal bends around the top half of the park, you’ll arrive in world-famous Camden Lock. Here you can choose to have a pint in the Hawley Arms pub or follow the canal all the way to Limehouse. Distance: 3-10km 2. THE ART ROUTE Start at Tate Britain. From here, head east along Millbank and onto Abingdon Street. Then go across Parliament Square onto Whitehall, noticing Downing Street on your left. At the end, you’ll reach Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery. Next, head south down Northumberland Avenue and over Hungerford Bridge. At the Southbank Centre, run east along the river until you reach Bankside Power Station, aka Tate Modern, a gallery holding the UK’s collection of 20th and 21st-century art. Distance: 5km TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Dee Cooper Live In Jobs has heaps of new available hotel and pub vacancies for live in couples and singles across the UK including Lake District, Scottish Highlands, Surrey, Berkshire and Cornwall.

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If you enjoy being out and about, meeting people, and providing excellent customer service this job could be for you! One of London’s largest corporate serviced apartment providers is seeking an enthusiastic go getter, for a challenging but varied Arrival Coordinator Role. Responsibilities range from welcoming guests & minor maintenance to general concierge duties.

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BUTCHERS REQUIRED Experienced Butchers and Counter Staff required to work in a family business in Oxfordshire. The candidates require good knife skills and a good knowledge of cooking and presentation skills to join our existing team. For further details please call Tom Newitt on 07990 527960 or email tom@newitt.co.uk or www.newitt.co.uk

EVENT CREW GALLOWGLASS CREWING is looking to bolster its labour force for some exciting large projects in Live Events, Sports Events and Fit Outs. Are you friendly, enthusiastic, physically very fit with excellent spoken English and a “can do attitude” - then you should be working for Europe’s largest crewing company. The work will be in London and you must live within easy commuting distance of central London. Our work is 24/7 so be prepared for anti-social hours but you will be with a great team! We are looking for full time (starting from £8.80) and part time (starting from £8.00) with the potential to earn up to £15.00 per hour. Higher rates for plant operators. Send your CV to hr@gallowglass.com or better still complete the on-line form at www.gallowglass.com We are also looking for event technicians to add to our database – please send in your CV.

JOIN OUR TEAM AT THE HOME OF CRICKET Marylebone Cricket Club, based at the iconic Lord’s Ground, is currently recruiting casual catering workers for the 2015 season. CASUAL ROLES AVA ILABLE WAITING STAFF BAR STAFF KIOSK ASSISTANTS

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HOW TO APP LY Please go to www.justjobs.co.uk/lords to apply online and explain how you would knock us for six! You must be 18 years or over to apply, and be able to demonstrate your eligibility to work in the UK. The Club is an equal opportunities employer.

PERFECT PEACHES FOR A PERFECT PEACHY MASSAGE PROFESSION As a Luxury English led Erotic Massage Business we are seeking new, fresh and alluring, physically fit masseuses. More particularly, fun and friendly Aussies, English and South African young ladies. If you’re in ship shape, passionate and stylish, please send your recent photos and a small spiel about yourself to Emily and Angela at:

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As a member of our Executive Massage Company you have the potential to earn £1000’s per week. Peachy Massage London has been operating for over 7 years. We offer the finest service in London, purely offering sensuous massage (not escort services) and we lead our company in an ethical, fair manner.

Live a Peachy Life and join our terrific team.

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Are you desperately seeking someone or something? Email caroline.garnar@tntmagazine.com with your message

SAY WHAT?! we were about to bang, and then she farted in my face and peed the bed. i still did her, but it ruined the mood a bit.

Hairy Potter: You looked like Harry Potter but with facial hair. I’d love to play with your wand. I look like Dumbledore – hope that’s cool. Meet me at platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross on April 1, 8pm. G’day sunshine: I’m a single Oz in London and now the sun is

Got beef: Can someone tell me what beef curtains are? I heard two guys talking about them on the bus. One said ‘Her beef curtains were minging.’ Well they would be if you hung them by the window, wouldn’t they? It just doesn’t seem practical. Is it an English thing?

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

‘do you have a peanut stuck in your belly button?’ *tries to pick it out* ‘err, no – i have an outie.’

‘the storm is either getting closer... or moving further away.’ ‘helpful.’

you know how people can burp the alphabet? well this girl can fart it.

so we had a meeting with our big client last night, and my colleague stuck her tongue in the guy’s ear. and we didn’t even get the account.

the english language is fucked up man. lolz.

there are a lot of people wearing crocs here. it’s really weird. thought i’d warn you as i know you have a fear.

it’s not cool to be excited about a new kettle is it? and yet i am...

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Get smeared in chocolate body paint for Easter... delicious, ma’am.

making an appearance I’d really like to meet a nice lady for walks in the park, barbies, and trips to the coast. I’m coming out of hibernation ladies, watch out! I live in Clapham – get in touch if you’d like to meet.

Hot chocolate: I gave up sex for lent. To be fair, I didn’t get much of it beforehand anyway so it’s been pretty easy. But if anyone does want to volunteer their services to me come Easter let me know. Willing to do it in chocolate.

Meet you in O’Malleys: If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain; If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain; If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape; I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape. Geordie sore: I met this really hot guy from Newcastle – tan, tattoo sleeve, coiff and everything. He had the biggest cock I have ever seen and let’s just say I didn’t just look at it. I haven’t been able to sit down properly since. He wants to see me again but I’m scared. What should I do?? Ginger nuts: I love gingers. I love their freckles, their invisible eyebrows and eyelashes. But most of all I love their carroty-shaded hair. I’m talking girls or guys, as long as they’re ginger. Please contact me for ‘red’-hot sexy times. Cock o’clock: I get really horny every day at 4pm. It’s a really awkward time because I’m at work so usually end up jerking off in the toilet. People have started to notice that I disappear at 4pm and re-surface with a sweat on and red face. They’re now taking it in turns to come into the toilets to put me off. Can I report this as bullying? Taste the rainbow: I’m bicurious and want a hot girl who is willing to experiment with me. I prefer brunettes (I think), curvy, and giggly. I have blue hair, a tongue piercing and slim build. Get in touch if you fit the bill and fancy trying something – and someone – new. Sarah Turned a korma: I bumped into you while walking down Brick Lane and thought you were gorgeous. I was too tongue-tied to say anything, then, but I’d love to take you out for dinner – curry? April showers: I like to get peed on. I’m not sure why it turns me on – I don’t like being dominated or degraded in any other way. Anyway I always feel too embarrassed to ask whomever’s in my bed at the time, so thought I’d try this. Will pay £20 per piss...

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