TNT Magazine / Issue 1489 by TNT Magazine

March 12-18 2012 Issue 1489 tntmagazine.com

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HIGH DRAMA Rock climbing in the Peak District

ONE DAY LIKE THIS Elbow on soaring to fame and beer

TERRIFIC TANZANIA We shake our booty in top African clubs

R E W O P Y PADD , to be sure n o d n o L in njoy the craic e o t e r e h w e guide on Your ultimat

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THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

DRINK & EATS

16-17 18

SPOTTED

LONDON SOUND

22-23

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

24-25

COMPETITION

CHATROOM JOE GILGUN

SPARE TIME

32-33 34

LIFESTYLE

35-43

SHOPPING

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

CAREERS

38-39

MONEY

Photos: Getty, Lake Chala Safari Camp. Cover: Thinkstock

@TNT

LONDON SCENE

EDITOR’S LETTER Yes, it’s lazy to embrace a stereotype. But, when that stereotype is formed around a love of having a good time (or enjoying the craic), what’s not to like? With that in mind, we’re celebrating everything St Paddy’s Day – flick to P8 for the best events in London. Are you living in a sharehouse? Turn to P42, where we recount your most amusing pranks and rituals. Still to plan your summer travels? Check out our 21-page guide, kicking off on P57.

WWW.TNTMAGAZINE.COM/APPS

MY LONDON

CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

LIVING

42-43

NEWS & SPORT

44-55

TRAVEL

57-78

DIARY

NEWS

UK TRIP

LATE DEALS

HOTSHOTS

TOP FIVE

64-65

TIPS & STUFF

66-67

FEATURES THE GOOD CRAIC

London’s best Irish-related fun, all in honour of the upcoming St Patrick’s Day.

WE HAVE LIFTOFF

CRAFTY DEVILS

PARANOIA REIGNS

Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory. We examine some of the most famous.

SOFA, SO GOOD

See Berlin from a local’s point of view, with a weekend of couchsurfing.

THE TRUE TANZANIA Shake your booty in Africa’s hottest clubs, then check out the baboons.

114

Hobbies once considered untrendy are being embraced by London’s cool kids.

CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

With a new album planned, awards and an Olympics song, Elbow are winning.

48 HOURS IN... LIVERPOOL 72-73 80-113

36 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Oliver Jones Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

@tntmagazine

Grab your best wingman (or woman) and party on

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Justine Mackay Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com

Shhh... SECRET LONDON AROUND THE WORLD SOUTH BANK

It’s part art project, part fabulous party and part whirlwind jaunt. Pulse, in South Bank, has been transformed to resemble the inside of a Boeing 747, replete with sunburned cabin crew serving drinks. There are stop-offs throughout the evening, embracing themes from South America, Africa, the Balkans, the US, Japan and France. It sounds like a memorable night on the tiles and, ultimately, it’s a great space that has been innovatively remade into one of the capital’s trendiest spots. £15

SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com

Fri, Mar 16. 9pm Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF

WHERE TO GET TNT

THE MASTER AND MARGARITA

CURRY CHEFS OF BRICK LANE

IDEAL HOME SHOW

Mikhail Bulgakov’s novel is widely regarded as one of the greatest books of the 20th century, recounting an outlandish tale of the devil visiting Soviet Russia with his sidekick, a gun-toting cat. If you’ve read the book, the stage show will need little recommendation. If not, you should still be able to understand it all.

Rich Mix is an edgy, versatile gallery in the heart of east London and it’s hard to imagine anything more emblematic of the area than the blokes who slave away cooking curries on Brick Lane. It’s a fun way into the area’s visual arts culture and, if it makes you hungry, you can head round the corner for a lamb saag and a samosa.

You probably can’t afford to totally refurbish your flat, but there are still a swag of great ideas here to help you beautify your digs. Equally, there are sweet gadgets for those who like that kind of thing, and some tasty food and drink for gourmets. It’s a massive place – so you may find yourself wandering around aimlessly.

Mar 15-Apr 7. 7.15pm Theatre at Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8D Barbican barbican.org.uk

Until Mar 31. 10am Rich Mix, 35-47 Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA Liverpool Street richmix.org.uk

Mar 16-Apr 1. 10am Earls Court, Warwick Rd , London, SW5 9TA Earls Court idealhomeshow.co.uk

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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May your gin blossom

MOTHER’S RUIN GIN-MAKING WORKSHOP The Forge

Mother’s Day might appeal to your sentimental stripe, but if you’re an orphan this year, get stuck into the gin at this event for connoisseurs. You’ll learn how to appreciate the spirit and do a spot of blending, while also honing your drink-mixing skills to the point where you’ll be able to serve up the perfect martini. Believe it or not, there’s more to it than just sticking a couple of olives in the glass. £25

Sun, Mar 18. 7.30pm 3-7 Delancey St, NW1 7NL

Camden Town

forgevenue.org

MR BALLS’ GAMES NIGHT

AFFORDABLE ART FAIR

When everyone is skint, the old favourite board games come rushing back into vogue. And so it is at this Dalston pub, where you’ll find boozy challenges of charades and Pictionary – and a bunch of other games – going on in the back room. If you’re going to bring a mate, make sure they know how to roll.

You’re not going to come along and buy up a bunch of oil paintings worth £4000, but you might spot some cheaper fare that takes your fancy. The Affordable Art Fair is a real potpourri of prints, photography and sculpture and there’s also a range of talks and workshop for the frustrated artists in attendance.

Wed, Mar 14. 7.30pm The Three Compasses, 99 Dalston Lane, E8 1NH Hackney Downs

Mar 15-18. 11am Battersea Park, Queenstown Battersea Park Rd, SW11 4NJ affordableartfair.co.uk

FREE

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£10

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LONDONNEWS

@tntmagazine

BORIS BIKES EXPAND TO EAST LONDON More hire bikes will be available at extra docking stations in east London as the scheme is expanded. Transport for London said 2300 cycles would be available across Tower Hamlets at 2700 points. Bikes can be hired in Hackney, Camden Town, Canary Wharf and White City, with an extra 2100 docking stations. Mayor Boris Johnson said: “Our wonderful blue bikes have changed the face of London.” But Jenny Jones, the Green Party’s mayoral candidate, called it a “gesture towards the Olympics”.

Give it to your woman – it’s her job Washing instructions on a label inside a pair of chinos sold by Madhouse in Oxford Street cause outrage on Twitter

FIRE DESTROYS BOB MARLEY CHURCH A church used in the video for Bob Marley’s Is This Love song has been destroyed by fire. About 40 firefighters tackled the blaze at the Christ Apostolic Church in King’s Cross on Thursday night. The 1978 video, featuring a seven-yearold Naomi Campbell, was filmed at the building, home to Keskidee, thought to be the UK’s first cultural centre for the black community. No one was hurt in the blaze.

ON THE TUBE

Read all about it: Gilbert & George’s exhibition – 3712 newspaper bills – at White Cube galleries

Over-budget Olympics

Cost of Games could hit £11bn after ‘finger in the air’ planning Taxpayers could be forced to fork out an extra £2bn for the Olympics after “staggering” inaccuracies about security costs. MPs were told last week 23,700 security guards are needed to man the event – more than double the initial number allocated. It means the £9.3bn public sector funding package is almost used up, tipping the cost of the Games to £11bn. Locog, London’s Organising Committee, originally said it would need 10,000 guards – a “finger in the air estimate”, according to a Public Accounts Committee report. Margaret Hodge, chair of the PAC, said: “There is a big question mark over whether it secured a good deal for the taxpayer. “It is staggering that the original estimates were so wrong.”

The news came as the RMT union demanded more money for Underground workers on duty during the Olympics. Up to 18,000 staff could be in line for £850 each, in what critics are calling a ‘bribe’, with London being held to ransom. The payment, being considered by the union, would be additional to the £1200 already offered to Tube drivers for working different shifts during the Games. Games organisers were also last week accused of behaving unduly secretively about the issue of ticket sales. Locog has refused to provide information about the share of Games tickets going to the public and sponsors. A London 2012 spokesman said it would provide complete information on ticket sales after it had sold the final batch.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

The new iPad

THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES

CIRCLE: No service all weekend. DISTRICT: No service between Tower Hill and Dagenham East all weekend. Replacement buses in operation.

H’SMITH & CITY: No service between Edgware Road and Barking all weekend.

METROPOLITAN: No service between King’s Cross St Pancras and Aldgate all weekend.

Photos: Getty

PICCADILLY: No service between Wood Green and Cockfosters and between Rayners Lane and Uxbridge. Replacement buses in operation.

Rumour has it that iPad aficionados will be able to get their grubby mitts on the brand spanking new tablet as of Friday. Unveiled last week in a social media frenzy, ‘The New iPad’ has already caused a buzz, boasting HD, more storage capacity, an improved camera and a better battery life. According to website 9to5Mac, Apple could be opening a store in Harrods this Friday to launch the new device in the UK. However, the gadget has yet to be given an official name, but it’s expected to go by iPad 3 or iPad HD after its retina display, which offers 3.1 million pixels – a higher screen resolution than a HDTV. Now, form an orderly queue …

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[Caption]

Make Paddy proud This year, Ireland’s national day will be celebrated with a weekend of antics. Dust off your leprechaun outfits and prepare to party … WORDS CLARE VOOGHT & ALASDAIR MORTON

St Patrick’s Day means one thing: getting dressed up in green, and preferably an enormous hat, and drinking Guinness. You will get drunk – it’s what Paddy would’ve wanted. Well, perhaps not too intoxicated because Paddy was a saint – the Patron Saint of Ireland, in fact. But we like to think he was a bit of a rebel. London’s got plenty to keep you occupied on this day of Irish-sanctioned drinking, and, as the celebration straddles an entire weekend, it’s going to be the biggest one in a while. Richard Barnes, deputy mayor of London, says: “It’s always a glorious day. It’s a time when the Irish communities living in London – many that have been here for generations – celebrate their heritage, which is what it’s all about. And there’s certainly the chance to take a glass or two.” The St Patrick’s Day Festival will continue the party on March 18 – so get over your hangover from the night before and join the 110,000 revellers in central London. Venture to the centre of town to find a huge procession, 8

plenty of colourful floats, marching bands, food stalls and groups from various Irish counties. The parade starts at 12pm at Green Park and will end up in Trafalgar Square. There, you’ll find up-to-the-minute alternative entertainment acts performing comedy, Irish music and dancing, all with a modern twist. Four Men And A Dog will take the stage later for a knees-up that mixes traditional Irish music with rap, jazz, bluegrass, polka and even salsa. Crystal Swing – a mother, son and daughter group from Cork – will play their brand of comedy countryinfluenced synthpop, including hit He Drinks Tequila. And Patrick Mangan, lead fiddle player from Riverdance, will perform an electric show. Honorary Irishmen Hammerstep will also be there, mixing traditional Irish dance with beatbox and hip hop. Along with English and American members, the group features Australian dancer Jason Oremus. But the day’s also going to be larger than previous years, because

it’s Olympic-themed. Catherina Casey, the chair of the Mayor of London’s St Patrick’s Advisory Forum, says: “We’ve got a number of Irish Olympians and Paralympians joining in with the parade. They’ll also be appearing on Trafalgar Square and meeting and greeting the public – really capturing that lovely sporty energy that’s in London at the moment.” Joining the procession, will be legendary Irish sportswoman Sonia O’Sullivan, plus world paracycling track champions Catherine Walsh and Francine Meehan. It’s going to be a huge day, to be sure. So can Casey give us any tips on surviving the day? “It’s attitude really,” she says. “Go out there and embrace it. It’s a full-on day, but everyone’s in good spirits. Come along with your sense of your humour and just join in.” LONDON’S BEST IRISH EVENTS ›› St. Patrick’s Day Festival, Sunday, March 18. 12pm-6pm. Free london.gov.uk/stpatricks Green Park/ Charing Cross

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St Patrick’s Day Saturday 17th March Come celebrate St Patrick’s Day with us LIVE MUSIC IRISH CUISINE DRINK SPECIALS A GREAT CRAIC Green machine: enjoy the St Patrick’s Day parade

FREE ENTRY OPEN TILL 2AM

2-4-1 COCKTAILS ALL NIGHT

DON’T MISS ENGLAND v IRELAND 6 Nations Live from 5pm

Win a £100 BAR TAB

Emerald city: fly the flag for Ireland

in the month of March by simply liking our new facebook page. facebook.com/grandjunctionarms. Winner will be drawn end of March

twitter@gjunctionarms

020 8965 5670 gjapub.co.uk Good craic: St Paddy would approve, we reckon

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Acton Lane, Canal Bridge NW10 7AD Park Royal London Tube: Harlesden or North Acton Station Bus: 260, 487, 226, 187, 224 (all stop at front door)

9/3/12 15:16:02

THE AULD SHILLELAGH STOKE NEWINGTON

MEDIEVAL BANQUET TOWER HILL If singing along to The Pogues with a Guinness in hand is not to your tastes, then try this novel way to celebrate St Paddy’s Day: a medieval banquet fit for a king. St Katherine’s Dock banquetting hall is the setting for this veritable four-course feast, with the likes of slow-cooked beef, roast breast of duck and Irish whiskey on the menu. There will be Celtic singing by handmaidens, a broadsword duel, and Henry VIII in full Tudor gear to overseee the proceedings. Different, for sure. £55

North London’s finest Irish pub opens its doors with live music from 3pm, boiled bacon and cabbage, and barrel loads of Guinness. If you’re going to keep it traditional, this is a good start. FREE

Sat, Mar 17. From 11am 105 Stoke Newington, Church Street, N16 0UD Stoke Newington theauldshillelagh.com

IRISH CULTURAL CENTRE HAMMERSMITH Featuring musicians, film seasons, literary events, and, on this weekend in particular, rugby watching (England host the Irish at Twickenham), the centre’s a home for Irish culture in the capital. As well as cheering the chasing of the oval ball, there’s music in the evening from Four Men And A Dog (above). The centre’s facing tough economic times, so get down there and support one of the city’s most diverse and engaging arts programmes. £18

Sat, Mar 17. 7.15pm 50 St Katharines Way, E1W 1LA Tower Hill skdocks.co.uk

Sat, March 17. From 12pm Blacks Road, W6 9DT Hammersmith irishculturalcentre.co.uk

WATER POET’S SPECIAL IRISH MENU LIVERPOOL STREET

TNT ST PADDY’S DAY PARTY WIMBLEDON

GUINNESS WORLD’S FRIENDLIEST DAY VARIOUS

Along with Irish music and jars of the black stuff (above), this Spitalfields pub has a special St Patrick’s Day menu, too, with starters and mains (beef and Guinness pie) served all day.

Celebrate in style with England v Ireland on the big screen, The Ploughing Dogs at 8pm and DJs from 10.30pm to 3am. £2 VKs and an ‘Absolut energy hour’ from 8pm-9pm will keep you in the party mood, with a best dressed comp for the one who goes the most green.

There’s Irish DJs and Irish-themed drinks, offers and grub. Best of all, though, are the Jameson cocktails on offer, with this Hoxton bar showing off the Irish whiskey maker’s new bottle design.

A stone’s throw from Leicester Square and Piccadilly Circus, this central pub is offering a free pint of Guinness in the week before the big day.

To get in the record books as the official, ‘world’s friendliest day’, Guinness is organising a host of events, including online pledges, to make March 17 extra nice and hug-worthy. So how do you prove that March 17 is the friendliest day out of the 366 jostling for the title this year? Guinness World Records – working with the much-loved drink company for the first time in 10 years – will have adjudicators (right) at Guinness events for the purpose of head- and smilecounting, and if the numbers tally, St Paddy’s Day will have another title. So join in, get down to one of the events, grab a pint of the black stuff and spread the love.

Sat, Mar 17. From 12pm 11 Hoxton Square, N1 6NU Old Street zigfrid.com

Mar 10-16. From 12pm WC2H 7BL Leicester Square taylor-walker.co.uk

Sat, Mar 17. Times vary Various guinness.com

FREE

Sat, Mar 17. From 11am 9-11 Folgate Street, E1 6BX Liverpool Street waterpoet.co.uk

ZIGFRID VON UNDERBELLY HOXTON FREE

FREE

Sat, Mar 17. Until 3am Billabong, 74-78 The Broadway, SW19 1RQ. Wimbledon tntmagazine.com/stpatricks

THE IMPERIAL PICCADILLY FREE

FREE

BETJEMAN ARMS KING’S CROSS There’s the usual array of Guinness offers at this high-end public house, with Oyster shooters, Irish nibbles and guest ales and stouts to quench your thirst and appetite. Chief reason to get down here, though, is to try your hand at the limerick competition. Stun, or mortify, your mates with your lyrical dexterity. There was a young lady from Tucker … FREE

Mar 14-18. From 11am 175-185 Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8UE King’s Cross geronimo-inns.co.uk

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TNT St Patricks Day

Party in association with

Shamrocker Adventures EVENTS DETAILS

Venue: Billabong Bar Wimbledon Date: Saturday, March 17th Time: 12noon – 3am Tickets: Free Entry

PARTY DETAILS

England Vs Ireland 6 Nations Rubgy screened at 5pm Four piece band ‘The Ploughing Dogs’ live at 8pm DJ – 10pm – 3am ‘The Absolut Energy Hour’ from 8pm – 9pm £2 Vks and Vodka kicks with Billabong Discount Card Best Dressed Competition – Get your ‘Irish’ on! - ‘Come as something Irish’

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OFFICIAL MEDIA PARTNER

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WAXY O’CONNORS ST PATRICK’S DAY PARTY SOHO

PORTERHOUSE WEEKEND FESTIVAL COVENT GARDEN

The biggest pub party going, Waxy’s underground drinking den hosts one hell of a kneesup. If singing The Dubliners while sloshing back the black stuff is your idea of a perfect Paddy’s Day, then look no further.

The biggest bar in all of London – 12 levels – this Irish institution has a weekend festival going on. Friday’s got live music from Snatch; Saturday has the Six Nations (with England v Ireland), a traditional Irish band in the afternoon and then multi-instrumentalist Aidan Burke. The pub is only five minutes away from the Sunday Parade and there’s also an Irish menu, too, with Dublin Coddle and bacon and cabbage, and the best ales and beers to boot. Seriously, all that’s missing is a leprechaun house band.

FREE

Sat, Mar 17. From 12pm 14-16 Rupert Street, W1D 6DD Piccadilly Circus waxyoconnors.co.uk

FREE

PATRICK’S DAY HOOTENANNY CAMDEN The Roundhouse, Chalk Farm’s music and arts centre, hosts an all-day parade of Irish music, musings and culture. The Hootenanny (£2) kicks things off in the afternoon with folk from the likes of Oh Ruin and headliner Kal Lavelle, a beginners’ Bodhran (a drum with the power to soothe the soul) workshop, Blarney stone painting, and food stalls. Then, in the evening, there’s a headline performance by folk songstress Camille O’Sullivan (above). £18

Sat, Mar 17. Hootenanny 2pm-6pm & Camille O’Sullivan 6pm-11pm Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8EH Chalk Farm roundhouse.org.uk

CHISWICK MORAN HOTEL KEW

Mar 16-18. From 2pm Maiden Lane, WC2 7NA Covent Garden porterhousebrewco.com

FILTHY MACNASTYS ISLINGTON The name of this infamous Islington boozer – billed as ‘just another pub’ – will have one of two effects on you. Either it turns you off (it’s not that filthy anymore, anyways), or it fills you with excitement, thinking of a good oldfashioned, down-and-dirty, all-day session. If it’s the latter, there’s cheap booze, and good music for the perfect Paddy’s Day. FREE

The Globe Bar and the Napa restaurant in this Irish-owned hotel offer a hearty breakfast (£19), followed by the Six Nations’ final day, with a Celtic dinner menu and Guinness offers. Good craic! £19

RIB ROOM RESTAURANT KNIGHTSBRIDGE Celebrate St Patrick’s Day in style at this top London restaurant, recently reborn with a design makeover courtesy of Martin Brudnizki. The Rib Room specialises in British cuisine, and head chef Ian Rudge unveils a one-dayonly menu with new spins on traditional Celtic dishes to honour the patron saint of the Emerald Isle. Rudge will feature his take on crubeens (pig trotters), roasted scallops for the fish course, and a hearty stew, followed by a Gaelic coffee.

Photos: Kois Miah, Getty, TNT

£55

Sat, Mar 17. From 7pm Cadogan Place, SW1X 9PY Knightsbridge theribroom.co.uk

Sat, Mar 17. From 11am 626 Chiswick High Road, Kew Bridge W4 5RY naparestaurant.co.uk

THE TIPPERARY FLEET STREET

Sat, Mar 17. From 11am 68 Amwell Street, EC1R 1UU Angel filthymacnastys.co.uk

FUNFAIR AND PARADE BRENT

The oldest Irish pub in London – it first opened its doors in 1605 – was the first place in the world to serve the black stuff outside of Ireland. This Fleet Street boozer oozes authenticity and tradition and Guinness, music and food.

This daily comedy club goes green for the night with Sean Hughes (right) taking top spot among a host of Irish comedians.

Trafalgar Square’s not the only place to catch a Paddy’s Day parade. This event in Brent – starting at the Willesden Green Library Centre – has music, food stalls and dancers, and there’s the George Irvin funfair in town, too, (Mar 16-18) at the nearby Roundwood Park.

Daily. From 12pm EC4Y 1HT Temple pws.prserv.net/tipperarypub

Sat, Mar 17. 7pm Storm, WC2H 7LE Leicester Square 99clubcomedy.com

Sat, Mar 17. From 2pm 95 High Road, NW10 2SF Willesden Green brent.gov.uk

FREE

THE 99 CLUB LEICESTER SQUARE £15

FREE

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MYLONDON

LISA FRIEND FLAUTIST, COMPOSER London’s best-kept secret is without a doubt my local Pardis, in area W2, for delicious Persian food. When I want to chill out I go to Cowshed Spa in Holland Park for pampering while indulging in their tea and muffins. The most interesting person I’ve met in London is Anita Lasker-Wallfish. She is a world-renowned cellist, a Holocaust survivor and one of the most inspirational, amazing ladies. I had the enormous pleasure of seeing her at a recent performance I gave alongside Liza Minelli for the White Rose Ball, which was in aid of the Holocaust Centre in Nottingham. My favourite place for a drink is The Connaught Bar in Mayfair is chic, intimate and cosy – and it does the most amazing cocktails. When you’re hungover in London you can’t beat a spicy tomato juice and Turkish eggs at Providores in Marylebone. What gets me up in the morning is my one-year-old baby girl’s smile. My perfect weekend would consist of long walks in Hyde Park, followed by great films, then perhaps friends over for dinner, and, of course, traditional afternoon tea and lots of laughter. The biggest faux pas I have made was ruining my friend’s surprise birthday party by showing up at his house with a bottle of champagne, dolled up to the nines, not realising that I was suppose to have arrived at a totally different venue. It was beyond embarrassing as his family had been planning the event for absolutely months. I felt terrible but still get the giggles thinking about it, though.

XXXXXXX /00 XXXXXXXXXXX /00

The last naughty thing I did was taping the entire bathroom doorway with masking tape at my friend’s work while she was in there and leaving her to fend for herself. I love playing pranks on my friends and family. Five words that sum up London ... Multi-cultural, historical, real, vibrant, fun. lisafriend.com 14

Album Deep In My Soul out now

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FINAL 1489 My London Lisa Friend14 14

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LONDONDRINKS

THE MALT HOUSE

@tntmagazine

The Malt House: class

PUB THE SCENE This stylish but traditional pub in the heart of Fulham exudes warmth and class. It boasts polished wood furnishings, as well as black and white photos hanging on the walls. The main bar has plenty of seating and a few nooks and crannies to park yourself in, and there’s a beer garden for the warmer weather. It’s a thriving drinking spot, which often fills up fast, so if you get a table, make sure you keep it. Staff are chilled and super-friendly, with the names and nationalities of the team listed on the wall. Try to guess who is who. THE GRUB Quality pub grub and a ‘healthy’ menu, which includes tuna steaks, salads and a homemade beef patty served with roast vegetables and goats cheese. Check out the substantial selection of pies (including the ocean pie: salmon, smoked haddock and pollock in a creamy parsley sauce topped with a cheddar crumb pastry) and pop in on a Sunday, when The Malt House serves up a variety of roasts. BEHIND THE BAR Good range of beers, and a selection of real ales including London Pride and Black Sheep, from £3.95. Wine from £4.40 a glass; £16 a bottle. Cocktails from £7. BILL PLEASE Starters from £4.50; mains from £9; pies £10.50. VERDICT Pop in for a weekend pint when you’re in Fulham, order a meal and let the afternoon slip by in a haze of warmth and friendly faces. JAHN VANNISSELROY

17 Vanston Place, SW6 1AY

malthouselondon.co.uk

Fulham Broadway

GALVIN DEMOISELLE

3 OF THE BEST SPRING OPENINGS

This French bistro-style eatery from brothers Chris and Jeff Galvin, in Harrods, dishes up treats such as confit pork cheeks, tarte tatin and baked lobster fishcake. harrods.com

THE JUGGED HARE

STICKS ‘N’ SUSHI

A British gastropub in the heart of London’s legal land, Chiswell Street, with a “real wine and food focus”. It features an open kitchen with a rotiserrie and charcoal grilled food.

This is the first outpost for the hit Copenhagen chain, serving sushi and yakatori. Expect kaburimaki and beef tataki (sushi) and pankofried duck with wasabi caesar dressing (sticks).

thejuggedhare.com

sushi.dk/uk

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BITE SIZE

Top-quality Thai grub

BOOZY BREKKIE If you like your breakfast with a kick, now you can reach past the Bloody Marys and lather something on your bread instead. The curious Cuban Mojito Breakfast Marmalade, made with mint and rum, is essentially a mojito cocktail for buttery toast. The zingy concoction from The Pickled Village, can also be used on cakes and as a meat glaze. Find it at Harvey Nichols for £3.50. thepickledvillage.co.uk

CALLING DON DRAPERS Lovers of a stiff drink have a unique opportunity to try some of the world’s rarest whiskies, all under one roof, at Whisky Live. The event, on March 23 and 24, brings togther master distillers, connoiseurs, and novices alike, to try everything from old favourites to unusual finishes. There’ll also be the chance to learn the art of bottling, and shaking a tasty cocktail. The event will be held at the Honourable Artillery Company, City Rd. Tickets from £30. whiskeylive.com

SUSHI AT A STEAL Put your sandwiches aside for one day and tuck into plates of sushi for just 97p. Between noon and 10.30pm on Thurday, March 15, Yo! Sushi in Poland Street, Soho, is offering every dish off its conveyer belt for loose change. Tuck into a number of Japaneseinspired treats, including traditional sushi and sashimi and hot classics such as chicken katsu curry, salmon teriyaki and yakisoba noodles. The offer marks 15 years since the chain opened. yosushi.com

ROSA’S THAI THE SCENE With its unassuming cherry-red facade, Rosa’s doesn’t shout about its existence, tucked away in a street near the bustling Brick Lane in east London. Inside is just as relaxed – nondescript light-brown wooden floors, walls and tables, with red chairs the only burst of colour in this Thai eatery, which is spread over two floors. But it’s always busy, which speaks volumes about the quality of its food. THE GRUB All the usual suspects you’d expect to see on a Thai menu, as well as an impressive amount of authentic-sounding dishes – there are even a few options for the health conscious, and a bunch of salads. My friend and I start with vegetable spring rolls, which are fresh, not fried. They’re huge, bulky and bursting with crisp carrots, cabbage, beansprouts and served with a tasty tangy peanut sauce. It’s a basic dish, but they get it spot-on. Our mains, brought to our table by our smiley waitress, are just as good. My veggie pad prig daeng red curry is delicious – a creamy, rich sauce, bursting with colour and flavour, as well as chunks of silky tofu and fresh veg. My friend tucks into the pla muak nam prig paw – squid with mixed peppers and basil leaves in roasted chilli paste. It’s spicy, but not unbearable, and also gets the thumbs-up. We also order a pad thai – rice noodles with egg, crushed peanuts, bean sprouts and spring onions, which is as good as any street food offered in Thailand, but it means we’re too stuffed for dessert.

Continue with the healthy theme and opt for a fresh mango and apple juice or a lemongrass tea. Or, reminisce about those ‘Chai yo!’ all-nighters in Koh Samui by sipping on a Chang or a traditional Mekong whisky. There are 12 red and white wines on offer and a bunch of bubbly options. BILL PLEASE Starters from £5.75; mains from £6.99; beer from £3.75; wine from £3.99 a glass; champagne from £31.99 a bottle. VERDICT Don’t expect glitz and glamour – that’s at a minimum. Instead, the emphasis is on top Thai dishes. And it definitely pays off. CAROL DRIVER BEHIND THE BAR

12 Hanbury Street, E1 6QR

rosaslondon.com

Liverpool Street

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FINAL 1489 London Food PIC.indd17 17

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@TNT GET IT OFF YOUR TEXT

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

Put it away

Text TNT and your message to

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In order to save time and money, Roman Abromovich and Chelsea have sacked their next manager, too. Still won’t win, though.

United For Life To make a long story short... I didn’t finish Lord of the Rings.

Chanel Of course, the true pessimist always makes sure his glass is full, the alternative is facing this world sober.

Jamie What do you call someone who hangs around musos? A drummer.

Amanda There have been reports of a robbery at the Agoraphobia Clinic. The Police suspect it’s an inside job.

Geordie My Uncle was killed in a freak canal boat accident. Waterway to go.

Peter JT as manager, Lampard as assistant & Drogba as first-team coach, that should solve chelsea’s dressing room problems.

Carlo I’m going to learn some Hebrew soon. All in Jew course.

Sharon I’m really shocked to hear so many Russians claiming that the election was fixed. Brave bastards.

Vitali

EMAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO LETTERS@TNTMAGAZINE.COM

To anybody who insists on filming concerts: don’t. Why can you not just live in the moment and enjoy the great music on offer, instead of watching the show through an iPhone? None of your friends will think you’re any cooler when you produce some grainy, tinny clip of half of a song from 30 rows back. Meanwhile, people at the gig to enjoy it for what it is have to suffer from your obsruction. Be here now, people. Be here now. Roman, via email

HAPPY TRAVELS

STOP KONY 2012

A big thank you, TNT, for a wonderful travel show last weekend. My pockets are now a little emptier but my dreams are full of anticipation for my trips to Egypt, Pamplona and Sail Croatia later in the year. So many amazing deals and a great chance to see what else is out there. I can’t wait for the next one. Jenny Lawrence, via email

The social media blitz to make Ugandan military leader Joseph Kony ‘famous’ is an admirable one. Let’s hope it puts pressure on the US and other goverments to find him and bring him to justice. Is this the start of a new way of protecting people’s freedoms, no matter where they live? Maybe. Maybe not. But any claims of ignorance about Kony’s war crimes will soon carry no weight. Let’s hope it works. Everyone can do their bit to create a better world for all humans. Tabitha, via email

TOO MUCH TALK How dare those Aussie TV presenters on The Circle take the piss out of VC war hero Ben RobertsSmith and call him brainless and a ‘dud root’ (via tntmagazine.com). That man puts his life on the line to fight enemies who would be happiest if we had no TV at all. He ensures that our freedoms remain intact. Sure, that includes freedom of speech, but people should not use it to insult true heroes. Eldon, via email

LIFE’S A BEACH Gutted no Aussie beaches made it into TripAdvisor’s world top 25. Bondi is overrated, but there are many more beautiful spots Down Under. Shame. Jamie, via email ELBOW /26 COUCH SURF /68

Roman wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventires.com

YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @imaginave: To-do list: 1) Change Facebook name to ‘No One’ 2) ‘Like’ others’ statuses. @BDGarp: My ex-gf once said “It’s either me or Twitter.” I wonder how she’s doing. @savvystrider: Single and ready to Pringle. My Friday nites @donni: You say cannibal, I say people person.

YOUR FACEBOOK Follow us on facebook/tntmagazine

Nicole Waters: Cheers TNT! Booked a few trips at the Travel Show. Had a great time!!! Charlie Matthews:The Travel Show at Earl’s Court was a blast. Nice one. Trans-Siberian trek is now on the cards. Brodie Lewis: Back from Landan blad with chicken salt, summer rolls and nougat and honey rolls! Had a great weekend at the TNT Magazine Travel Show!! Was a great event.

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ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

WIN

Email us at marketing@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Spotted’ in the subject line, email must include a photo of yourself! You’ve won a 13-week UK subscription to TNT Magazine

TNT TRAVEL SHOW 2012 Earl’s Court Exhibition Centre, London. Saturday, March 3 Photos by: Ruth Roxanne Board / TNT Images

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FINAL 1489 Spotted.indd 21

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LONDONSOUND

@tntmagazine

The five-string alternative to Obama

festival

watch

LATITUDE

THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA The Forum, 9-17 Highgate Road, Kentish Town, NW5 1JY

July 12-15. Henham Park, Suffolk. £175

FRI, MAR 16 | DOORS AT 7PM | £20

latitudefestival.co.uk

This multi-arts event, in its seventh year, is the choice for the discerning festival-goer, with bands, theatre, film and comedy among its offerings. Bon Iver, Elbow (pictured, see p26) and Paul Weller headline, with Metronomy, Laura Marling, and Bat For Lashes in support. Jack Dee, Rich Hall and Tim Minchin lead the comedy, with Iain Banks in the Literary Arena, and there’s a cabaret tent and floating stage, too. Get some culture in you!

The Presidents of the United States of America almost seemed like a joke when they hit the scene in the early Nineties. A good joke, though – catchy tunes and a self-mocking sensibility ensured their self-titled debut, played in full tonight, became a top-selling gold record. No one would have thought that the trio would still be here almost 20 years later, but they are, and still going strong. Six albums into their career (that’s one album more than the number of strings the band have on their self-modified guitar and bass), the Presidents have proved everyone wrong. From hitting the big time with the likes of hit single Lump (a pop-culture smash that won the ultimate accolade in being riffed on as Gump by ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic), they had a slurry of equally funny and well-embraced singles on their debut, such as Peaches (about tinned fruit) and Dune Buggy. Follow-up II didn’t quite hit the same heights (although it was certified gold, too) and in 1998 the trio went their separate ways. Reformations, at the turn of the millenium and then, in earnest, in 2004, followed, and the group remain as popular today as they were at the height of grunge, their energy and full-on fun vibes a crowd-pleasing combo. Playing their music nearly two decades later is quite an achievement for a band who sang on their debut record: “We’re not going to make it!” Kentish Town

FINAL 1489 Lon sound.indd 22

venues.meanfiddler.com/the-forum

9/3/12 17:05:33

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BBC 6 MUSIC 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY SHOWS

NEW BAND

GIG FRI, MAR 16. 7.30PM £20+

To celebrate its dodging of BBC bosses’ cuts, BBC 6 Music is throwing a 10th birthday party across three venues at the Southbank Centre, featuring singer-songwriter Laura Marling (right), John Lydon-led Public Image Ltd, odd-popstress Beth Jeans Houghton and sultry blues singer Lianne La Havas. Southbank Centre Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX Waterloo southbankcentre.co.uk

JAGUAR SKILLS

MIXMAG LIVE PRESENTS: CHUCKIE

CLUB

SAT, MAR 17. 10PM-3AM £15

FRI, MAR 16. 6PM-4AM £15

The original ninja is taking to the road with the ‘Jaguar Skills and Friends’ tour to bring his mixmash electro-hip hop assault to the masses. The masked one brings Brookes Brothers, Loadstar, DJ @ War and DJ Cable for support. But if you take to the stage dressed like a masked assassin, who needs ‘friends’?

Village Underground’s second Mixmag live event features celebrated DJ and producer Chuckie, famed for his self-styled Dirty Dutch club brand, which regularly throws 30,000-strong parties. Special guests are expected, and attendees get a free copy of the mag, which features a 10page section edited by the man himself.

Scala 275-277 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL King’s Cross scala-london.co.uk

Village Underground 54 Holywell Lane, EC2A 3PQ Liverpool Street villageunderground.co.uk

HAWK EYES THE BUZZ SO FAR Singer Paul Astick was advised by medical professionals that previous band Chickenhawk’s screamo-core was shredding his voice, so he and bandmates Rob Stephens (guitar), Ryan Clark (bass) and Matt Reid (drums) decided to calm it down. The result is the (comparatively) mellow Hawk Eyes, mellow only if they were compared to the bastard offspring of Amen and Bullet For My Valentine. Riffmongous, but with fiercesome melodies, too. THE CRITICS SAY “They have always been a band to be reckoned with.” SoundSphereMag.com THE PLUG Debut album Ideas out March 26, through Fierce Panda. At Buffalo Bar, March 20. £5 N1 1RU Highbury and Islington,

Photos: Marc Metcalfe; Simone Joyner; Bryan Bedder

buffalobar.co.uk

MARK LANEGAN

WE FEAR SILENCE

SUBMOTION ORCHESTRA

GIG

CLUB

GIG

TUES, MAR 13. 7.30PM £18.50

SAT, MAR 17. 10PM-6AM £11

THURS, MAR 15. 7PM £14

The former Screaming Trees frontman, and occassional Queen of the Stone Age and Gutter Twin, Mark Lanegan brings his solo band to town in support of album Blues Funeral (which featured Josh Homme and Greg Dulli). When it comes to gravel-voiced melancholia, no one comes close to this alt-rock legend.

Reggae legend David Rodigan (who’s got an MBE for ‘services to music’ under his belt) has handpicked the line-up for this night of Jamaican sounds. The guests for the evening include Youngman (live), Tempa T, High Rankin, and Rattus Rattus, with Dirty Canvas hosting the second room.

The Orchestra’s new single It’s Not Me It’s You combines the Leeds’ seven-piece’s signature sound – the sultry, seductive vocals and cinematic soundscapes – with a more electronic, dubstep vibe and, dare we say it, a more mainstreamfriendly, crossover appeal. This year should see them continue the strides they took in 2011.

Shepherd’s Bush Empire Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT Shep Bush o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

Cable Unit 3, Holyrood Court, SE1 2EL London Bridge cable-london.com

Scala 275-277 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL King’s Cross scala-london.co.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS

MONDAY 12 Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin, house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £7.

BOOK NOW!

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £1.50. Monday Madness DJs Bruno and Jimmy Jam spin pop and carnival classics. Walkabout, Temple, Temple Place, WC2R 2PH (020 7054 8033). 8pmmidnight. £5, free before 8pm. Popcorn Jonesey, Harvey Adam, Jamie Hammond and Terry T-Rex provide dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8. Rehab DJ Haley, Zoe Demonette, Dan Udy and Malarky supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/ w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 10.30pm. Service Industry Night DJ Colin Russell and Donald Sweeneey spin R‘n’B, hip-hop and chart. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm-3am. £10, free before 11pm. Tins On Toast Indie, pop, electro and dance from Steve Harris, Liam Young, Ed Wilder from Club NME and Bandangos. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). 7pm-late. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.

TUESDAY 13 Bingo Night DJs spin indie, plus Mr David Nottingham hosts bingo. The George Tavern, Commercial Rd, E1 0LA (020 7790 7335). 8.30pm-midnight. Free. Jamm Sandwich Eddie Pillar, Arthur Baker and Lascelle Gordon spin pop, hip-hop, R‘n’B and dance hits. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). 6.30pm. £5, £3 guestlist. Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS £3. Pink Tuesdays Freight Train spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, soul, funk and electro. Mother Bar, Old St, EC1V 9LE (020 7739 5949). 10pm-3am. Free. Ruby Tuesdays Pop, R‘n’B and 1980s from Sandra D and Joe Grohl. Ku Bar, Lisle St, WC2H 7BA (020 7437 4303). 9pm-late. Free. The Tuesday Night Project DJ Julio Bravo spins chart, party, dance and R‘n’B. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. Free. White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus spin electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

SCANDALISM EASTER PARTY XOYO. Sat, April 7. £12.50+ Scandalism returns to London with a line-up that’s skewed towards the beats ‘n’ bass with Switch (above), Sinden and Herve headlining. EC2A 4AP

Old Street

xoyo.co.uk

WEDNESDAY 14 Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3.30am. £6.50, NUS £5.50, w/flyer £4.50. Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS £4, guestlist £3. Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10. Fat Poppa Daddys Resident DJs spin hip-hop, funk, electro, house, dubstep, 1980s hits, indie and reggae. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 11pm-2am. £5, free before midnight. Madd Raff Wednesdays Fire Man Sam and Mainy spin reggae, hip-hop and Jamaican beats. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £5, free before 9pm, £3 before 11pm. N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

THURSDAY 15 Bad Sex Mayton DJs, Fin Munro and Phaze One spin electro, indie and disco. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist free. Club.The.Mammoth. Vs White Rabbit DJs Twom-ee, Luv/Pump, Re-Trac, Secret Diaries and Nadia Saiba mix house, electro, disco and garage, plus Joakim performs live. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). 8pm-1am. £5. Fuel Thursdays DJ Melody Kane spins house, funk, soul and urban beats. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-2am. £10, adv £5. Headphones & Handbags Marcia Carr, Lynda Phoenix, Cyndi, Josey Rebelle, Sista Stroke, Brenda Russell and Sophia SoFIREsoFINE spin house, hip-hop and soul, with live PAs from Shea Soul and Miracle. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3am. £5.

Bad Passion DJs Idjut Boys and Bad Passion Project spin house and disco. New Empowering Church, Westgate St, E8 3RL (020 7168 7146). 10pm-late. £10, £5 before midnight.

Xxtra Terry-James Lynch hosts a night of house, electro and pop, plus fashion. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

BBM Me DJs spin house, electro and disco. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 8pm-2am. £10, concs £7 before 10pm, free before 8pm.

Yoyo DJs Seb Chew, Leo Greenslade and Motive spin hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime, plus live performances from Shakka and Its Nate. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

Clocked Praslea, Dan Farserelli, Billy Stock, Tommy Wall and Lewis Chenery spin deep house, electro and techno. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £10.

FRIDAY 16 Eclectic Fridays DJ Edward Adoo spins hip-hop, soul and electronica. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. The Gallery Roger Shah 200th episode, First State, Alex MORPH, Jochen Miller, Richard Dinsdale, J Joy, Steve Lee & Gavyn Mytchel, Craig Turner, Lee Nazari, Stefan Brodin, Dean Griffiths, Danny Gauntlett and Matt Church spin trance, electro, house and techno. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm6am. £14, mems/concs £10. Love Hate No Artificial Colours, Toughlove, JR, Chico, Homework, Jamie Blanco, Harry James, Carlosi and John Green spin drum ‘n’ bass, house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-6am. £10, adv £8. La Mega Rumba Presents DJs Khriz, Loco, Kevin Gato, Saul Maya, Primo and Andres Filo spin Latin, hip-hop and R‘n’B, plus live performances from J Alvarez, Ando Y Mello, NG Recordz, JC Cazper, Cachito 593 and Mary Cruz. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). 10pm-5am. £20. Natural Mystic Dub Kibir La Amlak, Blackboard Jungle and Aba-Shanti-I spin dub, jungle, tribal and trance. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 10pm-6am. £12. One Kiss DJs Krisis and Melody Kane spin house, mash-ups, electro, dance anthems, R‘n’B, hip-hop and commercial dance. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pmmidnight. £10 inc skates, £7.50 bring your own skates, NUS £6 inc skates.

Roda De Samba DJ Limao spins Latin, house and soul, plus Cobra Verde performs live. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

The Shellac Shake The Shellac Collective and The Vagabond play rock ‘n’ roll, R‘n’B, soul, swing, country and folk. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). 8pm-late. £6.

Tales Of The Unexpected Dixon Brothers and Friends spin electro, punk, rock and swing, with live music, plus burlesque performances. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £10, £8 before 9pm, w/flyer £5 before 9pm.

Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm.

Therapy Sessions Current Value, Cooh, Dylan, Future Signal, Kitech, Smyla, Core, Arkaik, Conduct, Pocket Dread, Able Danger, Sargy, Raggamuffin and Fortitude spin drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

Trannyoke Lady Lloyd hosts a night of transsexual karaoke, plus DJ Matt spins pop and dance. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. Free.

SATURDAY 17

Wolf Club DJs Phaeleh, Illum Sphere, and Owsey spin dubstep and electronica, plus live performances from Picture Book, Mt Wolf and Hiatus And Shura. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 7pm-late. £8.

Neighbourhood #7 DJs Krust, Sabre & Skeptical, Josey Rebelle and Tasha spin dub, drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep, with host LX One. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 9pm-1am. £7, £5 before 10pm.

Stripped Back Soul Resident DJs play Motown and soul. The Blues Kitchen, Camden High St, NW1 7JN (020 7387 5277). 7pm-1am. Free.

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Crazy P - Live Horse Meat Disco and El Diablo’s Social Club spin disco, plus live performances from Crazy P and Debukas. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 9pm-3am. £15. Pacha Presents DJ Howard Donald spin electro and techno. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 11pm-6am. £15. Strawberry Sessions Resident DJs spin house music. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Them DJs Pinch, Pariah, Dark Sky, West Norwood Cassette Library, Tripper, Ruffick and Bagheera spin dubstep, grime and garage. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 10pm-6am. £12, adv £8.50. We Are One DJs Krisis and DJ Flex spin house, mashups, electro, dance anthems, party hits, R‘n’B, hip-hop and commercial dance. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm, ladies free before 11.30pm. We Fear Silence Present David Rodigan DJ veteran David Rodigan, High Rankin and Rattus Rattus spin reggae, ska and Jamaican sounds. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £14, adv £9 & £11.

SUNDAY 18 Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Mark Radford, Maximus, Lee Edwards and Roch-MixHard spin house and techno. Club Aquarium, Old St, EC1V 9DD (020 7251 6136). 11pm6am. £15, £10 before midnight, ladies free before midnight. Project DJs Rebecca Saforia and Crazy D spin house. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Showtime DJ F-Sound spins house, electro, R‘n’B and dance anthems. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £10, adv £5, ladies free before 11.30pm. WetYourSelf! Cormac, Peter Pixzel and Jacob Husley spin electro, house and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-6am. £10, NUS £7, adv £5.

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MONDAY 12 Anna Jane Casey Showtunes, cabaret and classic pop from the West End performer. The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £20.

Brendan Shine Folk and country singer-songwriter. Millfield Arts Centre, Silver St, N18 1PJ (020 8807 6680). £17, adv £16, concs £15, adv concs £14.

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Talk In Colour, Renu, Corina Piatti The London-based fivepiece plays electronic indiepop. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £10, adv £8.

Tommy Fleming The wellestablished Enniscrone-based vocalist performs folk and pop. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25.

Zemfira Rock from the Russian singer and musician. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £32.50-£55.

Jay Stapley Band The singersongwriter leads his acoustic rock and roots combo. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10. Damien Jurado The Seattle-based singer-songwriter and musician plays indie-folk. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £12.50. Lloyd, Bluey Robinson R‘n’B by the singer from Atlanta. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £25.

FRIDAY 16 THE APPLE CART FESTIVAL Victoria Park. Sunday, June 3. £35 This multi-cultured one-day fest features Lianne La Havas and former Supergrass frontman Gaz Coombes (above) alongside comedian Rich Hall. E3 5SN

Hackney Wick

WEDNESDAY 14

Ben L’Oncle Soul French vocalist Benjamin Duterde sings nu-soul. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £20.

Awale Afrobeat and Latin by the London-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8, adv £6.

Mic Righteous, Josh Kumra, Kal Lavelle, Charlee Drew London-based grime and hip-hop artist. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12, adv £6, guestlist £8.

Boots Electric Los Angeles-based musician and Eagles Of Death Metal frontman Jesse Hughes performs groove-laden glam pop and playful electro-rock in support of his album Honkey Kong. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £13.50.

Scratch Acid Noise rock and punk from the Texan four-piece. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £18, adv £16.

TUESDAY 13 The Dubliners Irish folk-rock by the veteran band from Dublin. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £25-£42.50. Rebecca Ferguson Soulful pop from the Liverpudlian vocalist and 2010 X Factor finalist, promoting her debut album, Heaven. Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, Catherine St, WC2B 5JF (0844 412 2955). £22.50-£42.50. Mark Lanegan Band, Creature With The Atom Brain The gravelvoiced American singer-songwriter leads his outfit for a performance of alternative rock in support of the album Blues Funeral. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £18.50. Jeff Mangum Lo fi indie-pop from the American singer-songwriter and former Neutral Milk Hotel frontman. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £25. Sing Inspiration! 2012: Carleen Anderson The American singer is joined by British youth and adult choirs in performing soul and gospel. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £16-£25, concs £8-£12.50. Suffocation, Cattle Decapitation, Hate, Blood Red Throne The New York-based band plays brutal, technical death metal. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £18.50.

Fem Fel, Kyra, Lily McKenzie, Deja, In’sight, Lois Davina, Ella Marie Hip-hop and grime from the South London-based rapper. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £10. Nanci Griffith Country and folk from the Texan singersongwriter. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £29. Hed PE, Spindle Sect, Silent Descent Punk and metal by the Californian band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £13. Luke Leighfield, Lauren Aquilina Pop-rock from the Southampton-based singersongwriter and pianist. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £7.50. Mad Dog Mcrea The Devon-based outfit plays folk. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £9. Three Trapped Tigers Alt rock instrumentals by the London-based outfit. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). £11.50. Veronica Falls The London-based four-piece performs playful indie-pop. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £9.50. The Vodka Martinis Soulful rock ‘n’ roll outfit. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £8, free before 10pm.

theappplecartfestival.com Wideboy Generation, We Stole Fire The outfit plays Brit pop and punk-rock. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

THURSDAY 15 3 Doors Down Pop-rock and Americana by the US-based band. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £23.50. All American Rejects Pop-rock by the band from Oklahoma. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15. The Answer, The Union The Downpatrick-based four-piece plays classic rock. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £16.50. Anthrax, Diamond Plate The veteran New York-based band plays heavy metal. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20. Brand New Heavies Mainstream R‘n’B and soul outfit. East Wintergarden, Bank St, E14 5NX (0207 418 2725). £20. Metropolis High energy soul six-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm. The Miller Test The Londonbased band plays blues and folk-rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £7, adv £5. Ria Ritchie Acoustic pop and R‘n’B from the London-based singer-songwriter. Hoxton Hall, Hoxton St, N1 6SH (020 7684 0060). £9. Rizzle Kicks Indie-influenced hip-hop from the Brightonbased twosome. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12.50. Deborah Rose The singersongwriter performs Welsh folk from her album Song Be My Soul. Lauderdale House, Highgate Hill, Waterlow Park, N6 5HG (020 8348 8716). £10.

Joan Baez The veteran American singer-songwriter, musician and activist plays folk-rock. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £25-£45, concs £12.50-£22.50. Blue Harlem The swing and jive septet from London plays golden era jump blues. Boisdales Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £15-£35. Martin Carthy Folk from the singer-songwriter and electric guitarist. Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £12.50, adv £9.50. The Cuban Brothers Latin funk with a twist of humour from the London-based outfit. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £13.50. Inspiral Carpets Garage-influenced indie-rock from the veteran outfit. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £19.50. Peatbog Faeries Celtic rock outfit from the Isle of Skye. Artsdepot, Nether St, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA (020 8369 5454). £16, concs £14. The Presidents Of The United States Of America Pop-punk by the Seattle-based band. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £20. Elvis Presley In Concert A live band accompanies classic video footage of the king of rock ‘n’ roll. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £35-£38.50. Matthew Robins The stories of Scissor Leg Paul, the Alien-SoapOpera and Salady Brighteyes, told through original songs, short films and animations, from performer-musician Matthew Robins. The Little Angel Theatre, Dagmar Passage, Cross St, N1 2DN (020 7226 1787). £12, concs £10. Slim Chance Original members Steve Simpson and Charlie Hart from the 1970s band rejoin to perform folk-rock songs by frontman Ronnie Lane. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £17. Jah Wobble Dub and alt rock performed by the London-based singer-songwriter. The Vortex Jazz Club, Dalston Culture House, Gillett St, N16 8JH (020 7254 4097). £14.50. Xiu Xiu Experimental electro and indie-pop from the American outfit. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £12.50.

SATURDAY 17 Angel Witch, Grand Magus Classic metal by the veteran Londonbased band. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15. Damien Dempsey The Dublinborn singer-songwriter plays Celtic folk. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £15. Four Men And A Dog The collective plays traditional Irish folk. Irish Cultural Centre, Blacks Rd, W6 9DT (020 8563 8232). £15 & £18. The Leo Green Experience Party band fronted by saxophonist Green. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm. JJ Grey & Mofro Funky blues-rock from the American outfit. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £15. Bill ‘Watermelon Slim’ Homans Rootsy blues by the Bostonbased singer-guitarist. Brook’s Blues Bar, The Telegraph, Telegraph Rd, SW15 3TU (020 8788 2011). £15. Jaguar Skills The mysterious ninja DJ and producer spins live electronic mash-ups. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000). £15. Kim Larsen & Kjukken Rock singer-songwriter and band from Copenhagen. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £28. Camille O’Sullivan, Damien O’Kane The singer and actress performs dark, sultry, cabaret interpretations of alternative songs by vocalists including Jacques Brel, Nick Cave and Tom Waits. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £17.50, NUS/unwaged £15. Los Pacaminos The band, led by vocalist Paul Young, plays Americana. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £12. The Selecter Ska from the veteran outfit. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £20.

SUNDAY 18 Fisz Emade The Polish brothers perform experimental hip-hop and rap from the album Zwierze Bez Nogi. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £13. Mike Gordon Alt rock by the Burlington-based bass-player from Phish. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £15. Vain Glam metal by the band from San Francisco. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £13.50. Paul Weller The singer-songwriter and former frontman of The Jam and The Style Council plays songs from his new album Sonik Kicks. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £38.50.

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Elbow: (from left) Richard Jupp, Guy Garvey, Craig Potter, Mark Potter and Pete Turner

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England, we have lift-off With a new album, awards and their Olympics music under their belts, Elbow are destined to head even further skywards in 2012 WORDS ANDREW WESTBROOK

To the outside world, it might appear as if Manchester fivepiece Elbow are late bloomers. After all, it was way back in 1990 that the boys from Bury first got together to form a band, and it wasn’t until 2001 that they released their first studio album of five, Asleep In The Back. However, despite the introspective resonance of frontman Guy Garvey’s lyrics making them the darlings of the music press, Elbow were never quite deemed to have cracked the wider public consciousness. They were instead regularly, and lazily, labelled the industry’s best-kept secret. Lazily, because they were far from secret, thanks to their first three albums making the UK top 20. Either way, that all changed in 2008. That was the year fourth album The Seldom Seen Kid was released, a record that launched Elbow into the stratosphere. It won them the Mercury Prize before they were named best band at the Brits the following year, while a succession of other gongs served to keep their mantelpiece crowded. The group are now undeniably one of Britain’s biggest acts, and their 2012 effort Build A Rocket Boys!, featuring songs such as Lippy Kid and Neat Little Rows led to another best band nomination at February’s Brits. The immensely down-to-earth musicians, however, are taking it all in their stride, as guitarist Mark Potter explains. “Our lives haven’t really changed at all,” he says. “Yes, we’re a little bit more comfortable now, and Guy is quite famous, getting recognised probably anywhere in the UK, but what it’s done for us more than anything is allowed us to do exactly what we want to musically now.” On their recent rise, Potter adds: “It’s accelerated over the last few years, but we were never unhappy. With the first few records, we were still making a living out of music. We weren’t a household name or playing arenas but we didn’t have to hold down other jobs to do what we loved. “Really, the success since Seldom Seen Kid, we hadn’t done anything different, it just connected. It’s very odd. What the five of us do in a little studio in Salford, and the places it takes us, well, we feel very privileged.” I, for one, am relieved to discover Elbow’s famously easy-going nature is not the stuff of legend. After

a mix-up with times finds me taking the call several drinks into a visit to the pub, Potter shrugs off the 10-minute delay with a joke, before explaining that “we’ve never really bought into the celebrity thing”.

“

Writing the Olympics music was a real honour

”

He adds: “Like with the Brits, it’s lovely to be nominated, but none of us are into the glitz side of it. We’ll turn up, but it’s more a chance to give a little back to our wives, buy them a new frock and get them on the red carpet.

‘Celebrity be damned’: Mark Potter TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Confident: the boys practice their angry faces; (left) a successful album becomes a successful beer “They’re normally left at home with the kids, so it’s for them to experience a bit of glamour.” More importantly, the band are enjoying being back in the studio, working on both their latest album, which promises to “open a new chapter”, and the official BBC music for this year’s London Olympics. Apparently, the BBC called Elbow for a “secret” meeting before revealing what they wanted them to do. The song, called First Steps, will be used across their Games coverage. “Writing the Olympics music was an amazing experience, as well as a real honour and challenge, that just made us

Elbow play the Isle Of Wight Festival. June 22. From £160 Seaclose Park, Isle of Wight Isleofwightfestival.com Also at Latitude Festival, July 12-15. £175 Halesworth Henham Park, Suffolk latitudefestival.com

Photos: Getty

Guy Garvey with Lady Gaga and Coldplay and (above) at Coachella, in California

want to get writing again,” Potter says. “It was a different thing. We had a brief and a lot of meetings, like you needed a sort of winning moment, crossing the finish line, and a sort of sad moment, but creatively it was very much in our court. “It’s quick soundscapey stuff. It was a joy to do as we’ve always wanted to do soundtracks. I think our music lends itself to that kind of thing.” The band are currently gearing up for their five-date tour in Australia, before heading to New Zealand for two nights in Auckland. It’s a short tour but Potter says the crowds will make the journey worth it. “It’s a long way, but every time we come, we step up, with slightly bigger venues,” he adds. “What’s great about playing in Australia is people really appreciate the distances British bands travel to come to play over there. “Although it’s a pretty tight schedule. I wanted a day off to go fishing with a mate, but it doesn’t look like my tour manager will let me. So I might end up doing a bit of night fishing in the harbour one evening after a show.” But for Elbow, it isn’t just about the sell-out tours and huge crowds. In fact, it wasn’t until last year that they did their first UK arena tour, and Potter admits it was a challenge for them to connect with the audience in a big venue. “We wanted to make it feel intimate, to not physically shrink the venues, but deliver the same sort of show that we’d deliver to 1500 people to 15,000,” he says. “Although one side of what we do upbeat and anthemic, it was important for us to get across the more romantic, minimal stripped-back stuff, and in the arenas it worked really well. It seemed to draw people in.” Bizarrely, Elbow are also enjoying success in a very different field right now, as a Build A Rocket Boys! beer is taking Manchester pubs by storm. “Ha, yeah, somebody seemed to think we like drinking,” Potter says. “We were invited to look around local Stockport brewery Robinsons. “It turned into quite a drunken afternoon and by the end of it we’d agreed to launch a beer. Initially it was going to be a limited-edition release, but it’s selling really well in a lot of Manchester bars and a lot of supermarkets.” ❚

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Anzac Day BBQ Commemorate with Elk Bar, Fulham Wednesday 25th April 12noon till Late EVENT DEATILS Two Up Tournament AFL Screening Live music & DJ Anzac biscuits and BBQ food Drink specials

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Joe Gilgun The This Is England ‘88 and Misfits star on why he should be in rehab, burying his cat, and castrating director Shane Meadows INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Misfits has finished now. What have you been up to? Since Misfits, I have been sat on my arse. But I needed a rest. Is filming on the show tough, then? Yeah, it’s great cos you’re with your mates, but it is really hard work. I was a plasterer for five years and that is a physically demanding job. When I started getting TV work, I thought it was going to be easier, but it is not. I was massively wrong. But now nobody will have me plastering their house, because I look like a mincing actor! Why did you start acting and then give up it up, only to come back to it? I did Corrie as a child, but I went down the road of being a total arse for a bit. It is important you go and have those experiences, being a total retard. A good actor has to have life experience, you know? It exposes you to things. What sort of things? I buried my cat the other day and I thought to remember every feeling, to take it all in and not avoid it. Do you do that every day? Not from an actor’s point of view, but I generally get really analytical. I make myself ill with it. In what way? I think too much, I worry too much, I worry about worrying. Is Woody in This Is England ‘88 a version of you, then? Yeah, there are certainly parts of me in him. A lot of that is improvised, though. Is improvising a [This Is England creator] Shane Meadows way of working? Totally. And Misfits is different – it’s more stylised, and England is a bit more gritty. Is it tough balancing This Is England ‘88’s comedy and emotional moments? Yeah, there are bits that are really sad, but you can’t help but piss yourself. One of my favourite scenes of all time is that one in The Full Monty where Mark Addy’s eating a Mars bar in the shed

Gilgun: Unsavoury characters a specialty and wrapping himself in cling film so he doesn’t get fat. It’s funny but heartbreaking, too.

American, but I am really blessed, because I am a twat and I should probably be in rehab or prison.

Is music as important to you as it is to Woody? Yeah, I listened to a lot of the same sorts of stuff, a lot of reggae. Music is a massive deal and has got more so for me as I have got older.

You worked with Michael Caine on Harry Browne – did he have any advice? It was a bloody honour working with Michael, but I learnt more from Shaun Harris [who plays Gielgun’s drug buddie Stretch in the film]. He’s extraordinary – he can transform. What I learnt is you are not there to make friends but to do a job. It was weird: I called him Sean once and he said ‘I’m not Sean. I’m Stretch, you cunt!’.

Are you a bit of a collector then? No. I go and see my mate Griff once or twice a year and he sorts me. He catalogues his music, but with me it is like someone has given a gibbon a Mac. I am so shit on it, I have drawn all over it, cos I couldn’t make it work. Has success been a surprise? I never had any money and that’s a problem. Going from being a lad on a plasterer’s wage to then getting loads of money, you spend and spend and spend, see nice things and go to nice shops. You help everybody out, and then you’re left with none. It’s alright sorting Nigel out a van but then you’ve got tax to pay! If there are any young actors out there not putting money aside for their tax, they’re an arsehole. That’s why at the age of 27, when I should be pretty minted, all I’ve got is four dogs and a hairy carpet. What have been the highpoints so far? Far too many, I am so lucky. This will sound really

Do you worry about typecasting? I don’t worry about things like that. If people keep giving me these roles, I’ll keep doing them. So who do you play in sci-fi prison flick Lockout? That was done before This Is England ‘88, in Serbia, and yeah, my character is unsavoury – I play a Glaswegian space rapist. Will there be a This Is England in the Nineties? I am pretty sure Shane Meadows will do one in the Nineties. But he keeps having kids, so unless you chop his dick off, then he won’t write it. This Is England ‘88 is out on DVD on March 12 through Channel 4 DVD.

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LONDONSCENE

@tntmagazine

‘I’m not lion to ya. I’m a real animal in the sack’

WE BOUGHT A ZOO FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson | PG | 124mins

21 JUMP STREET FILM STARRING: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum | 15 | 109mins

The cop show that made Johnny Depp a star is rebooted with Superbad’s Jonah Hill (now trimmed down) and Channing Tatum (the stereotypical action lead) as two ineffective cops sent back to high school to bust a drugs ring. The Eighties nostalgia trip’s on the wane so this comedy-action outing will have to pull out all the stops if it is to, erm, score. On general release from Friday

Cameron Crowe has a sweet tooth when it comes to films. He’s concerned with characters and emotions (not to mention Seventies rock, too, for that matter), and happy endings where everyone feels better than they did at the start. The director’s latest, and first in seven years, We Bought A Zoo, is unashamedly a Crowe movie: it’s irresistibly feel-good and proudly crowd-pleasing. Matt Damon is Benjamin Mee, who, after his wife dies of cancer, quits his job as a journalist in the city and moves his family (seven-year-old daughter Rosie and teen son Dylan) to the countryside to run an ailing park. Despite numerous financial challenges, a tough zoo inspector, and his total lack of wildlife and animal knowledge, he sees this relocation as the way for the family to move on. A uplifting film about death, in many ways, Zoo is formulaic in premise – its narrative destination is never in doubt – but features a host of warmly drawn characters (the zoo’s oddball staff include a handyman with a monkey on his shoulder and Scarlett Johansson’s improbable zookeeper) and emotional truth. Mee’s confrontation with his son is a particularly wrought scene and it’s his struggle to overcome his wife’s death that drives the film. Thomas Haden Church as Damon’s brother injects some much-needed cynicism – he’s always sceptical of the zoo-plan – but it is the honesty, aided by Sigur Ros frontman Jonsi’s winning score, that makes the film, and it’s most saccharine moments (opening day in particular!), triumphant rather than tiresome. GOOD FOR: Seeing Crowe back on track after 2005’s dire Elizabethtown

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GIVE US A

ADAM RICHES

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Titling his show Bring Me The Head Of Adam Riches is a risky move, lest some well-meaning but misguided audience member decides to take him literally. Riches braves the crowd – who he gets involved in this Edinburgh Fringe awardwinning show – for his last week at the Soho. Catch it before he’s huge! Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Until Mar 17. £15 Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

TURNER INSPIRED: IN THE LIGHT OF CLAUDE

RUBEN GUTHRIE

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

This new exhibition at the National Gallery reflects on the influence of 17th-century artist Claude, reknowned for his masterful control and representation of light and landscape, on English romantic landscape painter JMW Turner. This exhibition includes paintings, watercolours and sketches by both artists.

Australian playwright Brendan Cowell’s new comedy, which hits London for a short Wimbledon run, tells the story of man’s relationship with booze, through the darkly comic, frequently tragic, and insightfully honest portrayal of the titlular ad man’s struggles with the bottle.

ROSIE WILBY

National Gallery Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN. Mar 14-Jun 5. £12 Charing Cross nationalgallery.org.uk

New Wimbledon Studio SW19 1QG. March 14-17. £10 Wimbledon atgtickets.com/Ruben-Guthrie-Tickets

How did you get into comedy? When my band broke up, I started playing acoustic solo gigs. I worried my songs were too depressing, so I started telling silly stories and audience members suggested I give comedy a go.

What’s your show about? My time in the Nineties spent trying to make it as a Britpop starlet.

What did your 2009 Science Of Sex show teach you? That sexual attraction can be defined by science more easily than that elusive thing we call love. And that Viagra releases similar chemicals to those released during a lightning storm.

Photos: Neal Presson; Scott Garfield; Mark Metcalfe; Catheine Ashmore

The weirdest thing you’ve read this week? The Sun On Sunday.

BINGO

HAY FEVER

THEATRE

Subtitled ‘Scenes of Money and Death’, Edward Bond’s 1974 play follows Shakespeare in his final years, retired from writing and living in Stratford. Angus Jackson’s production has attracted some high-calibre actors – Patrick Stewart, Catherine Cusack – but makes for a very uninvolving evening as the Bard heads towards death. LK

Superficially attractive they may be, but the bohemian Bliss family make terrible hosts in Noel Coward’s 1925 slight comedy of manners. Howard Davies’ enjoyable production turns their Berkshire home – to which all four have simultaneously invited a weekend guest – into a kind of converted barn-cum-artists’ studio. LK

Young Vic The Cut, SE1 8LZ. Until March 31. £10-£29 Waterloo youngvic.org

Noel Coward Theatre WC2N 4AU. Until June 2. £16-£53.50 Leicester Square HayFeverLondon.com

What makes music and comedy a tough combo? They elicit different emotions. The songs I wrote back in the Nineties are downbeat – that’s part of the joke. I once got a royalty statement and my song about suicide had generated income under the heading ‘UK karaoke’. Rosie’s Pop Diary Deptford Albany, Douglas Way, SE8 4AG. Mar 15. 7.30pm. £6 New Cross rosiewilby.com

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SPARETIME

Michael Kiwanuka: Home Again

@tntmagazine

Street Fighter X Tekken

Album

PS3

The spine-tinglingly good release from a rising star. £8.99 amazon.co.uk

Two leading fight games go head to head. Who will win? £36.99 base.com

VCMG: SSSS

Birds of Steel X360

High-octane air combat on the comfort of your couch. £31.85 shopto.net

Album

The minimalist synthpop pioneers are back with another LP. £8.95 zavvi.com

Pah! Windows phone app

Alex Thomas: War & Piste

The first voice-activated game on a Windows phone – say “pah!” to shoot. £1.25

Book

windowsphone.com

Snow, sex, Jagerbombs and hangovers – the diary of a seasonaire. £8.99 amazon.com

iAlbums iPhone

A music player with biogs, reviews, lyrics, photos, videos, tweets and interviews. With more than 600,000 artists. Free itunes.apple.com

Michael Kerr: Last Call For The Dining Car Book

Travel hounds will love this collection of the world’s greatest train journeys. £9.99 whsmith.co.uk

Nineties phone case Gadget

iPhone too modern for you? This flip-phone will make you nostalgic. £14.99

Urban Explorers

thumbsupworld.co.uk

DVD

Thrill-seekers fight to survive after they leave the Berlin tourist trail. It’s a gorefest. £8.95 thehut.com

Sweet dispenser Gadget

The ideal retro accessory for your desk or kitchen. £14.95 red5.co.uk

Immortals DVD

This film, starring Henry Cavill, is loosely based on the Greek myths of Theseus. £10.99 play.com

App of the Week MTV Under The Thumb iPhone, Android

Watch MTV shows while chatting to friends, schedule co-viewing sessions and use your phone as a remote control for your telly. Free mtvunderthethumb.com

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Double-breasted Classic, chic and the perfect finishing touch to any outfit.

Ben Sherman harrington Simple and traditional, it’ll go with just about anything in your closet.

Hooded bomber The lemon and pink combo makes this springtime hoodie pop, with Airtex mesh detailing for a sporty edge.

topman.com

hm.com

topshop.com

£30

.00

0 9.0

£4

MARKETWATCH

.99

£24

Photos: Jimbobart (jimobart.etsy.com)

CRAFTY FOX SPRING CRAFT MARKET Returning to south London for just two days is the Crafty Fox Spring Craft Market, featuring an eclectic mix of wares including illustrated jewellery, vintage clothing and artwork. The Crafty Fox, a group of Brixton designermakers formed by husband and wife duo Sinead and Stephen Koehler, showcases the best of emerging London talent. Spread across the Dogstar’s three floors and set to the soundtrack of local DJs, the market features clothes and crafts from more than 40 designers. If you need a break from the mad rush, you can relax in the tearoom, design a shopping bag with screenprinting shop Mr Wingate, have your nails done by Boom Nails, or write a letter at Letter Lounge. Be one of the first 50 guests through the door on either day and receive a free Crafty Fox CD or an illustrated tea towel from designers on Etsy. OPEN March 24-25, 11am-5pm COST Free craftyfoxmarket.blogspot.com Dogstar, 389 Coldharbour Lane, SW9 8LQ Brixton

Nylon jacket Fight windy days in style with this bright number.

Light & breezy £59

hm.com

.99

£29

Beck & Hersey boater Sail into spring with this maritime-inspired hero. houseoffraser.co.uk

Grey zip biker top A comfy cotton take on the classic motorcycle jacket.

.90

£49

fashionunion.com

£18

.00

Cotton drawstring A timeless trench makes the best accessory on a cool, breezy day. shop.uniqlo.com

£45

.00

Navy poacher The perfect piece to carry you through spring into summer.

One-button blazer This sweet pink boyfriend jacket will brighten up any cloudy day. apricotonline.co.uk

£29

.00

riverisland.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

ZUMBA AT MINISTRY Would you usually opt for partying over exercise? If so, Ministry of Sound has a solution that’ll get you into your clubwear and down to the infamous venue for a calorietorching fitness session quicker than you can say ‘glowstick’. On Wednesday, March 21, Ministry is launching a Zumba nightclub fitness party, with celebrity instructor Tanya Beardsley. You’ll work out on the dancefloor of the legendary Box room, while music blasts out of the club’s cutting-edge sound system.You could be fooled into thinking you’re out clubbing on a Friday night as Ministry is also laying on electric lighting and special effects. You’ll blast fat, tone muscles and improve your fitness with moves from the Latin-inspired all-overbody workout craze. Then, once you’ve finished your workout, which pledges to make you burn up to 1000 calories, you can hit the class’s afterparty at the bar. Now this sounds like something the gym-shy are bound to get on board with – and they’ll be pleased to know that classes will be held every month. Keep checking the Ministry of Sound website for dates. Sessions cost £12.

@tntmagazine

Geek chic Reckon knitting needles and handicrafts are for grandmas and geeks? Well, think again WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

While arts and crafts have long been relegated to the realms of geekdom, Londoners are picking up their Pritt stick, donning their walking boots and tearing down the stereotypes that say knitting, craft and ambling just aren’t cool. Join the army of crafty hipsters and stop living in shame – it’s time to be proud of nerdy pastimes.

Knit the City You might have already spotted random objects in London covered in wool. The knitted car covers, telephone boxes and the like that pop up every so often are the work of Knit The City – a ‘graffiti knitting’ group with the theory ‘where there’s a wool, there’s a way’. Their work, dubbed ‘yarn bombing’, is all about covering a mundane world with colourful knitted cosies. The collective holds workshops and bootcamps (London dates TBC) that’ll have even the toughest crotcheters breaking a sweat. knitthecity.com

Create Boutique This DIY haven in Kentish Town would make even the most liberal gran blush. There are no tea cosies or doilies – instead, craftsters can make lingerie and nipple tassles at burlesque workshops, from £40. Add flashes of leather, lace or glitzy beads to your handmade naughtywear, before saucy retro-dancing expert Alice shows you how to twirl those newly made tassels and remove one-of-a-kind garters seductively. create-boutique.co.uk

Craft Guerrilla This group not only brings craft to pubs around London, so you can fashion your creations with a beer in hand, but it caters for boys, too. Bring your own crafty project to work on, choose from a ready-to-make craft package on offer on the night or take part in a mini workshop, £15 – last time, guests learned to knit their own bow ties. craftguerrilla.com

103 Gaunt Street, SE1 6DP ministryofsound.com Elephant & Castle

Warm up London with Knit The City

Make it at Craft Guerilla 36

Get sexy at Create Boutique

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LOOKING GOOD

Zippo EDT pour homme For the novelty factor alone £38.50 thefragranceshop.co.uk

Sugar Styler nail-art pen Got a steady hand? £12.50 originalsugar.com

Photos: James McCauley; AH Francis; knitthecity.com, Knit the City: A Whodunnknit

A stitch-up: guys can sew, too Urban 75

Men’s survival sewing

This ultra-cool community has put their mark on arts and crafts, gaming and ambling. The group, open to guys and girls, holds booze-orientated origami, jam-making and calligraphy nights, plus trips to the country, where members start drinking and then get knitting. They also have their own gaming community for console fans to wax lyrical and a walking club that treks, strolls and sometimes cycles around London and the rest of the UK – it’s a brilliant way to see Blighty, if you’re up for a hike. When they’re not being geeky, they hold free clubnights in Brixton with themes like death metal vs grime, live anti-folk and ukulele slamdown. urban75.org

A cold beer might help lads man up and get into this sewing class especially for men. The two-hour journey, £25, covers the basics of sewing at Sew Over It cafe in Clapham. At the next session on March 26, experts will teach guys how to stitch on buttons, repair rips and machine-hem. They can can also bring items they’d like to alter. Why should you be seen dead with a needle and thread? Because it’ll save you cash when you don’t have to throw out a shirt just NEXT WEEK because a button International has fallen off. Now beauty trends that’s clever. sewoverit.co.uk

Lee Stafford mini dry shampoo A little travel hero £2.09 boots.com

TOP TREATMENT: FREE FALSE LASHES This weekend – and this weekend only – Chelsea clothing boutique Agnes B is hosting a pop-up AH Francis eyelash bar. And they’re offering free false lashes from their Eyelash Couture range, plus free application by the pros. That means awesome eyes all evening and no fear of them pinging off when you’ve had a few drinks. Open Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 12pm-4pm.

Get lashed

31-32 Duke of York Square, SW3 4SG Sloane Square

europe.agnesb.com/en

Sranrom men’s gift set Scents that’ll remind you of travel £14.00 sranrom.co.uk

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

@tntmagazine

Sheikh it: you never know what you’re going to walk into

There’s no ‘I’ in team Workplace bonding has moved far past the trust falls of the Seventies WORDS REBECCA KENT

Many bosses are prepared to go that extra mile when it comes to achieving a certain dynamic in the office, such as motivating their charges through team building. But some tasks are so bizarre you might wonder if someone is taking the piss. TNT takes a look at a few.

Show me the money When lawyer Jacquie Walker walked into a conference room full of people 20 years her senior, little did she know they were about to blush as one. “We were all given a coin and told to see for how long we could hold them between our butt cheeks. Everyone looked mortified,” says the 33-year-old, from Maida Vale. “But when the coins started to drop on to the floor, it was hilarious. I had 38

tears rolling down my face and people were on the floor laughing so hard.”

Pressure-cooker environments As bizarre as some are, team-building tasks help with decision-making, lateral thought, confidence and team work. Or so says William Anderson, creative director of The Team Works (the-teamworks.co.uk). “The ideas can seem completely crazy, but normally they are based on popular media – concepts like the Apprentice, Dragons’ Den and cooking shows,” he says. ”Cooking is a popular activity because it’s methodical and process-driven. “Being creative and innovative is a team sport, and my job is to bring people together and make sparks fly.”

Anything goes The types of challenges are as extensive as one’s imagination, so staff can find themselves walking a high-ropes course, acting out the role of a film producer, negotiating contracts, securing talent, and finding a score. Plus, exercises can be tailored. For example, workers could be challenged to use only recyclable materials in a ‘scrapheap challenge’ if a workplace is undertaking environmental initiatives. Anderson says: “Team building has to tick the fun box, but bosses can only justify fun if it’s incorporated into an educational journey.”

No laughing matter However, sometimes there’s no justification, insists Acton’s Bridget

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB GARY PUNTORNO CAREER Designer at branding agency, Mystery. AGE 27 LIVES Peckham FROM Dorset

Blow this: a load of hot air?

Photos: Thinkstock

Hot stuff: it’s educational, really

Horsing around: put a stick in it

Welch, 30, who works participants to be in HR. open-minded. “I think MORE TEAM BUILDING “We had a laughing you’ve got to put up The Italian Job: Teams drive workshop at 7.30am, and get on with it,” he Minis and act out the well-known where an ageing says. “Stop looking for movie script, ending with a final hippie in tie-dye and benefits, they will come scene where they blow the doors dreadlocks made us – they always do in a off a van to get the gold. lie down with our shared experience.” Up in the air: Balloon ‘blowers’, heads on each others’ ‘bashers’ and ‘stuffers’ must get A winning task stomachs and say the most number of balloons into ‘ha ha ha ho ho ho’ their nets. Marshalls bust balloons James Eder, director so our heads vibrated,” that fall on the floor. of The Beans Group, Welch says. “Most Get me out of here: In this a lifestyle portal for thought it was a load bug-eating relay, you must put your university students, is of shit.” hand in a jar blindfolded and wait a firm believer in the Admin assistant for the surprise. power of team building. Christian Taylor,33, was No hands: Teams pick up as many He orchestrated subjected to a bizarre objects as they can – with only their a challenge, in which team-building ritual feet and while under a barrage of teams had to build almost daily. missiles from the opposition. the tallest free“Basically, if standing structure anyone in the office lost their temper, out of 20 sticks of spaghetti, a yard everyone in the team had to drop of tape, another of string, with one what they were doing and write lots of marshmallow on top. “What’s really encouraging things on Post-its about interesting is the teams that had the that employee,” he explains. “Everyone shortest or least successful towers took turns reading the statements were those who spent too much time aloud, then stuck the notes on to strategising rather than testing – plus the employee. It was meant to make it threw out the window any everyone feel supported. It just made assumptions me want to resign.” that spaghetti NEXT WEEK could support Think positively a marshmallow.” Jobs to help you lose weight Well … job Heath Gardiner, List of Life managing done, then. director (listoflife.com), urges

How did you get into your line of work? I always loved drawing and illustration, and graphic design has allowed me to have a career doing exactly this. I’ve done all manner of unexpected design jobs: working in publishing, branding and helping to design interior spaces, and I joined Mystery a year ago. What do you do day-to-day? I’m designing and creating the visual branding for restaurants, which can be anything from menus to murals. Most recently, I’ve been working with Za Za Bazaar, which we’ve designed like an Asian nightmarket. What is best part of your job? All the pizza-fuelled team meetings. What’s the most challenging? Juggling timescales, job numbers and designers’ blocks. mystery.co.uk

HOW TO... DEAL WITH STROPPY COLLEAGUES Does a co-worker get out of bed on the wrong side every day? Give them a reason to smile.

• Make them chuckle with

some cheeky conversation. Try ‘did you nail anyone at the weekend?’.

• Make them feel valued

by asking for their advice, whether you actually need it or not.

• Share your mid-afternoon

goodies (we mean food) with said colleague. Then they’ll be eating out of your hand.

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tntjobs.co.uk CLASSROOM LIMITED T: 020 7636 0600 www.classroomteachers.co.uk Classroom is an established recruitment services provider, providing exceptional levels of service. Our dedicated teams of consultants have a wealth of teaching expertise and education recruitment experience.

GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

GENTLEMAN & A VAN

JOB OF THE WEEK: Year 5 Teacher Location: South East London Salary: £130.00 - £160.00 DOE Are you a KS2 Teacher looking for a new and exciting role? A school in the London Borough of Southwark are looking for a qualified Year 5 teacher for a class of 15 pupils with an immediate start, continuing for one year. This role requires the teacher to have a minimum of one year’s experience of class teaching in the UK. A talented teacher with a confident and professional manner will do well in this excellent school and someone who is keen to teach a smaller class will thrive in this unusually small year group. Caroline Hardwick | 020 7636 0600 | caroline@classroomteachers.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew. You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude. CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

T: 0845 226 3525 www.gentlemanandavan.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Director Location: Wandsworth Salary: £12 per hour

Gentleman & A Van is a removal, delivery and storage company in Wandsworth, specialising in flat and small house moves.

We are looking for an enthusiastic, articulate, smartly presented person with excellent spoken English to join our team. Successful candidate will be required to drive, load and unload a Luton van. Experience preferred but full training will be given. Exciting opportunity to join a successful expanding company. CV to james@gentlemanandavan.co.uk

SILVERBACK EVENTS

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London (All Areas) Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour

T: 0844 5617939 / 07595 021939 www.silverbackuk.com

Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met,

Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

SHERPA www.eventsherpa.co.uk

Jason | 077 128 293 48 | jason@silverbackuk.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Event Porters/Drivers/Crew Location: London Salary: £6.50 - £10 per hour

SHERPA is a leading supplier of intelligent, articulate and professional porters, drivers and crew to the UK event industry. We work at some of the UK’s best-known events and venues, from high-profile sporting festivals and new product launches, to big-budget private and corporate events.

This summer will be extremely busy with the Olympics coming to town - We’re looking for reliable, hard working, well-presented team players with excellent spoken English to join us in 2012! SHERPA work is ideal for but not limited to Antipodeans in London on their working holiday visa as it is a great way to see London, meet new people and the hours are flexible.

POLLENCREW LTD

JOB OF THE WEEK: Drivers / General Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £13 / hour

T: 020 8874 7707 www.pollencrew.co.uk Providing event support to the events industry, specialising in the floral sector.

Send a CV and recent photo to: john@eventsherpa.co.uk

Installing and clearing events, all crew must be able bodied, not scared of hard work or unsociable hours, share in our “can do attitude”, happy working alone or as part of a team. info@pollencrew.co.uk

Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

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CASH-SAVING TIPS

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

USE THE DEMOTIVATOR Xxxxxxxxx Always overspending? Visit thedemotivator.co.uk XXXXXXXXX and type in how much you Xxxxxxxxxxx pay for non-essentials like cappucinos or chocolate XXXXXXXXX bars, how often you do Xxxxxxxxxxx so and how much you earn. It’ll give you a scary XXXXXXXXX low-down of what you Xxxxxxxxxxx could be saving instead. XXXXXXXXX GO SHOPPING, GET CASH Xxxxxxxxxxx

Save money while still buying exactly the same stuff – at exactly the same places. See pouringpounds.com for voucher codes that give you cashback on online shopping from brands like Tesco, Boots, Love Film and Expedia. Your first payout will be at least £30.

possible. Change is more likely to get wasted or put in a penny jar rather than to good use. Develop the discipline to use your card properly.

JOB Founder of budgeting site, moflo.co.uk FROM Southampton LIVES Kilburn

as soon as it happens. To make this easier, I have SMS notifications set up with my bank, so I know as soon as direct debits come out.

How do you budget? I track my spending in Moflo

Any money-saving tips? Use a debit card where

ROB COOPER, 27

Photos: Getty

What non-essential items do you spend money on? Spotify would be at the top of the list. It’s certainly nonessential, but I love it.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Savvy investments?

STAY LOCAL AND SAVE Not keen on roughing it with a spot of couchsurfing, but strapped for cash to spend on a hotel? Rent out a bedroom in someone’s house through sites such as Wimdu.com and AirBnB.com. If you’ve got a spare room, you can also make some cash by renting it out. Make new friends as a bonus: some things really are priceless. BERLIN /68 TANZANIA /74

Last big blow-out? Las Vegas, May 2011. All paid for in cash, no credit whatsoever. It was the first holiday I’ve done like that and it felt great to just focus on having a good time rather than worry about cash.

William Shatner (aka Captain Kirk) was recently killed off as the face of Priceline, but his shares in the company grew from £1.13 to £189. Here’s some other business-minded celebs

❚ Jay-Z is one hell of a hiphop entrepreneur. His first foray into business was a majority stake in clothing brand Rocawear, which he sold in 2007 for £128m. ❚ Heidi Klum isn’t just

Stick to making movies, love

a pretty face, earning £10.6m in 2011. And it wasn’t only from fashion – Klum owns a third of the rights to TV show Project Runway and has her own production firm.

❚ It’s restaurants for DJ Fatboy Slim – with Japanese eatery Okinami, in Brighton, and two Michelin-starred New York gastropubs. ❚ Oscar-winning Black Swan star Natalie Portman, left, wasn’t so successful with her vegan-friendly footwear line, though. People were put off by the shoes’ £125 price tag and the parent company closed within a year.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

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Shared house rituals Highs, lows, pranks and good deeds – housemates do the nicest things WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Oil and vinegar set Jazz up your table mad4gifts.co.uk

You end up getting pretty close to your housemates when you live in a shared place, and there are plenty of things you’d only do around them. Next time you’re whinging about your roomies leaving teabags on the kitchen worktops or not taking out the rubbish, remember that they are a hilarious bunch really. And if you’re after some prankster inspiration, look no further...

Prosthetic nightmares 9 9.9

£1

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“My old housemate Adam and I pranked each other often. It made life a lot more fun. He had a Chucky doll with a big plastic head, which I used to hide under a very flat duvet so he didn’t find him until he actually got into bed. I’d do this every few weeks – it never got boring as I’d dress the doll up differently and sometimes I’d put a celebrity mask on it. This prank worked particularly well when he brought a lady back from a hot date. I’d just hear a ‘Kaaaaate!!!’. “We had a prosthetic arm we ‘acquired’ from work (it had a plastic human hand and a fabric sleeve). In retaliation he would stick it in the wardrobe so it sprang out when I opened the door up. He would then hear ‘Adaaaaaam!’” Kate Baller, 30, TV producer

It’s now used for things like ‘doubling down with gin and rum’. There are also lots of nicknames – everyone is ‘kiddo’ or ‘champ’. And there’s lots of very crude stuff, which, for decency, I won’t mention! “One Christmas, two of the boys got Nerf guns for each other’s secret Santa presents without realising. The third boy felt left out, so had to get one, too. They like to turn off all the lights in the house and pretend not to be in – then there’s an ambush! “We’ve also got a noticeboard in the kitchen with a drawing of an animal called ‘Cave Bird’ who tells everyone if things need tidying up or says thanks for doing the tidying (which happens much less!).” Natasha, 23, marketing manager

One of the lads

Bloodbath shower curtain For the scariest wash of your life amazon.co.uk

“I live with three boys so, as you can imagine, it’s pretty male heavy! We have certain house phrases like ‘doubling down’. That started because two of the boys like to play basketball and spread from there.

Forgotten birthday, cold shoe shame “When I was at uni, I lived in a house of seven girls. And we loved our pranks. We’d know when someone had brought a guy

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LIFESTYLELIVING TOP OF THE APPS Apps that help you find housemates, and then get along with them better... Easy Roommate, iPhone Free Tell the app your location and it’ll map out the nearest available flatshares to you. Or if you’re renting out a room, you can check out profiles of all the potential housemates in the area. uk.easyroommate.com/iphone/uk

One big happy family home, because we’d see his shoes at the bottom of the stairs. So we used to put them in the freezer, and then burst into the person’s room singing Happy Birthday. Sadly, the boys in question never used to find this as funny as we did once they realised what was going on. Especially as they had to do the walk of shame in their cold shoes ...” Alex Saggers, 24, PR

back far too quickly so he always knew it was coming. I should’ve waited longer. But once, he was smoking outside on the balcony and I just stared at him out of the window with my hood up until he turned around. That properly scared him. “But it’s not just about the pranks – there are so many more nice things we do for each other. We make tea all the time and go to pub quizzes every other Monday. We also have steak-and-shake nights once a week, usually on a Sunday, where we eat steak and make our own milkshakes.” Rich Soames, 24, comedian

All’s fair in love and pranking

Photos: Thinkstock

After the fear comes the fun... “We watched Paranormal Activity on Halloween and then my housemate, also called Rich, spent a couple of weeks hiding around the house and jumping out at people to scare them – mostly me. He used to hide in my wardrobe and under my bed. The best one, and also the worst, was when he hid in my wardrobe and tried to jump out but he went through the floor of it. He totally wrote it off. I always got really scared, but then I always tried to get him

“My housemate used to boil all my eggs when I was out and put them back in the carton in the fridge. He forgot he’d done it once, until I went to make us egg on pizza – I threw them at him. It was a love/ hate thing, we got along really well – it was big brother/ little sister-type relationship so we’d snipe at each other or play pranks, then make up afterwards. “Our other housemate hadn’t paid her share of the bills and was really scared of balloons. So one day when she was out, we filled her room with them and refused to remove them until she wrote us a cheque for what she owed. She LET US KNOW was never late on Share your sharehouse payments again ...” rituals with our readers: Lexy Rose, 24, letters@tntmagazine.com events planner

Bill Splitter, iPhone £1.49 Enter the bills you get, split them between your housemates and note the payments you all make. A surefire way to avoid any bad arguments over who’s paid what. itunes.apple.com Housemates: A Survival Guide, iPhone, Blackberry £2.49 A humorous guide to living with nightmare roomies. It’ll make you thankful for what you’ve got. itunes.apple.com Bromance calculator, iPhone Free Screw figuring out the bills. What you really need to work out is who’s got your back. Based on loyalty, humour, honesty and, of course, wingmanship. touchism.com Pranktionary, Android £0.69 In need of some prankster inspiraton? This is a dictionary of pranks for the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and anywhere else you can think of. Get your roomies back, for good. pranktionary.com Scary Camera, iTunes Free Hand your phone to your housemate and ask them to take a picture. Pose and say ‘cheese’ – then watch them scream when they click the shutter and up pops a horror version of your face. Mwahahaha. itunes.apple.com

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Orange around the gills

CARROTS TURN KID OFF-COLOUR UNITED KINGDOM A three-year-old Hampshire boy is the only person in Britain to have a rare condition that causes him to turn orange after eating carrots. Leo Barnett suffers from hyper-beta carotenemia, meaning his body cannot digest carotene, which is found in many fruits and vegetables. “His liver can’t get rid of it, so it builds up and turns him orange,” his mum said. “We used to call him The Tango Kid and Oompa Loompa because of his colour. “He looks like someone from The Only Way Is Essex when they have overdone it on the fake tan.” TWEETS OF THE WEEK

@andyroddick The colts cutting Peyton feels like the north pole kicking out Santa @ConanOBrien I’ve been practicing for this year’s St. Patrick’s Day. Every morning, I have my personal trainer punch me in the face. @louisck Well I’m in a goddamn good mood right now. I could give a frog twelve dollars right now. (Xept he’d probably spend it on flies)

SPIDERS TAKE OVER WAGGA WAGGA AUSTRALIA Residents evacuated from Wagga Wagga amid flash flooding returned to their homes to find their town covered in spider webs. The wolf spiders got busy spinning in order to escape the rising waters, covering whole tracts of land in their sticky, white webs. Insect expert Graham Milledge said 44

Hitchhikers can be a pain: In Tel Aviv, Israel, revellers celebrate the 2500th anniversary of a Persian plot to exterminate them being foiled by holding a massive costume parade. And, of course, part of that involves people dressing up as zombies and staggering through the city’s streets. Must be some way to involve zombies in Christmas, too

the spiders’ behaviour was known as ballooning. “They often do it as a way of dispersing and getting into a new area,” he said. “In an event like this, they are just trying to escape the floods.” As a result of the wet weather, the arachnid population has soared. Maybe bring in some more cane toads? Good idea?

LIVIN’ LA VIDA KAZAKH KAZAKHSTAN

Dignitaries struggled to keep a straight face when, at a skiing festival, Kazakhstan’s national

anthem was replaced by Ricky Martin’s most popular song. Those attending the opening ceremony were stood to attention, hands on hearts, waiting to get patriotic. “I want to wish you health, success, prosperity. Good starts and victories,” the announcer intoned. “I declare open the sixth festival of Kostanay festival of skiing.” But then, rather than playing My Kazakhstan, a mix-up resulted in Martin’s Livin’ Da Vida Loca belting out across the PA system. At least someone’s still listening to him.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 25

Height, in feet, of a metal statue of a gorilla that has mysteriously appeared in the grounds of a park in Cambridgeshire

Fold that hoodie correctly next time

PUSH-UPS FOR SHOP KIDS WHO STUFF UP ITALY

A Milan outlet of Abercrombie & Fitch has raised the ire of local unions after it emerged male staff are forced to do push-ups should they make a mistake. An email sent to staff by a manager and obtained by the retail union states the physical punishment will ensure “we will learn more from our mistakes”. One former employee quoted by Corriere della Sera said staff would be ordered to perform the exercises in front of a manager for minor infractions. “It just works like that, take it or leave it,” he said. “Female staff are told to scrub their makeup off if they wear too much and men are ordered home to shave if they have stubble,” union officer Graziella Carneri said.

SHAWSHANK-STYLE ESCAPE FOILED

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

UNITED KINGDOM

A British prisoner’s inventive escape plan, in which he employed plastic cutlery and screws to dig through the wall of his cell and used papier-mâchiér to conceal the hole, has been rumbled. Simeon Langford had only been at Exeter for 22 days when a maintenance officer noticed a pile of brick dust and debris in the prison yard under his window and a search of the prisoner’s cell revealed the extent of his escape bid. Judge Erik Salomonsen said although Langford’s escape attempt was “ingenious and inventive” it was “doomed to failure” because even if he dug through the wall he would still have faced two fences beyond.

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Weight, in pounds, of a giant turkey, known as Godzilla, that terrorises an elderly Detroit woman when she goes outside

Women, aged 50 to 76, of the “singing babushkas” who won the right to be Russia’s entry in the Eurovision Song Contest

Likely bill, in pounds, faced by Leicester City Council, after a warden injured himself putting up health and safety signs

The Birds II: The Vomiting

FEEL THREATENED? SPEW ON YOURSELF SPAIN

Biologists have observed a strange defense mechanism in the young Eurasian roller – when threatened by predators, they vomit on themselves. Offspring of the bright-blue jackdawsized bird – Latin name Coracias garrulus – throw up the repugnant fluid when they are frightened in their nests, becoming less attractive as a snack. But the smell also alerts parents, returning to the nest, that a threatening incident has happened in their absence, they believe. The scientists tested the “olfactory cue” theory by visiting nests with 10-dayold nestlings inside. They used a small paintbrush to daub a tiny amount of either lemon juice or vomit on the inside of the nest. Parents returning to a vomit-treated nest reacted with great caution, delaying the time when they would settle into the home.

70,000

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I am not really sure. Are you from a tabloid? Thank you for noticing, you bitch Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver was none too impressed when, during his visit to Australia, he was asked if he had stacked on a few pounds

9/3/12 16:58:30

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: REBECCA KENT rebecca.kent@tntmagazine.com

Dead man talking: a still from Interviews Before Execution

Execution interviews not only compelling, but necessary

Photos: YouTube

The British television viewer needs a little death in their life

Just when we think reality TV has pushed voyeurism to the very brink of our comfort – think One Born Every Minute for childbirth in all its bloody detail – producers are now inviting us to share the final moments of Chinese prisoners destined for execution. Bring it on. The only thing is, where people in China can tune in on a Saturday night to watch Interviews Before Execution (indeed, a staggering 40 million already do), we here must make do with snippets broadcast as part of a BBC documentary on Monday (March 12). In China, journalist Ding Yu has become a celebrity through the prime-time show. She conducts interviews with the condemned criminals, most of them convicted for extremely violent acts: a gay man who murdered his mother and defiled her dead body; a gang who kidnapped a young girl for ransom and then killed her when her family could not afford to pay. The questions are anodyne to begin with: what is the prisoner’s favorite music? And pastimes? Then comes a serious Q&A about the crime before the inmate makes an apology and delivers a farewell message as they are led off to face their destiny. Who knew death could be so gripping? If there’s ever an argument for thawing the frost over social policy between Western governments and the Eastern powerhouse, it’s that so we can get this compelling series in Britain. Currently, China won’t allow it to be screened offshore. Reality TV has become necessary education – not to mention entertainment. It gives viewers a glimpse into otherwise inaccessible sections of society and often hold a mirror to our own shortcomings. Sadly, in Britain right now, programmes on the telly are limp at best. Some are struggling for viewers, others are haemorraging them. Interviews Before Execution ticks all the boxes: it’s entertaining for most, mind-broadening for others, and I, for one, will be on my sofa watching on Monday. Will you? » Should we push to have Interviews Before Execution aired in Britain? letters@tntmagazine.com

FRIEND TOO FAT? TELL THEM If I’m turning into a pork chop, blithely parading about with a pair of wobbly thighs and beachball-sized girth, don’t be polite, tell me to shape up. That’s what Maidstone mother Julie Askew did when she got fed up making excuses for her daughter, Amie, 13, who weighed in at 13 stone. Rather than soothe Amie’s wails about being too fat, Julie agreed and told her, more or less, to get on a treadmill – and indeed she did. If we stopped treating weight so delicately, everyone would be better off.

“

Stop treating our weight delicately

”

Fellas, if your missus does look fat in those jeans, tell her. Ladies, if your girlfriend takes you shopping for your honest opinion, give it to them. We congratulate people for shedding pounds, since it’s probably added years to their life, so when they’re at risk of curtailing their years with a spare tyre, why shouldn’t we give them a nudge, too? TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Where’s Osama buried? The al-Qaeda leader’s death is fresh grist for the fevered conspiracy theory mill WORDS TOM STURROCK

Often, even the least credible conspiracy theories prove to be the most durable, the most impervious to inconvenient facts. And, last week, a major domino in a new conspiracy theory – a new ‘big lie’ – appeared to fall, when Wikileaks reproduced emails from a shadowy security firm questioning whether Osama bin Laden’s body was actually buried at sea. According to Fred Burton, the vice president of intelligence service Strafor, whose emails were obtained by Anonymous, Bin Laden’s body was taken back to the US and cremated. Even if this new account is completely untrue, the backcatalogue of conspiracy theories reveals that, among the tin-foil hat brigade, a little bit of evidence – or even none at all – goes a long way.

Dead presidents for a dead president In November 1963, President John F Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. The Warren Commission, set up to investigate Kennedy’s shooting, concluded Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and Jack Ruby in turn acted alone when he assassinated Oswald. Nearly 50 years on, though, an overwhelming majority of Americans believe there was a cover-up. What the believers say: The CIA joined forces with the military industrial complex to get rid of Kennedy because of his willingness to negotiate with the Soviet Union and his plans to restructure the nation’s intelligence services.

The Truthers begin their catcall While the wreckage of the Twin Towers was still smouldering, the first alternative theories about the attack were being seeded. Not dissuaded by the fact al-Qaeda has repeatedly claimed responsibility, the 9/11 Truth movement sprung up online, incubating the idea that elements within the US government either knew in advance about the attack or orchestrated it to justify subsequent wars in the Middle East. What the believers say: It was an inside job, maybe involving 48

Mossad, as no Jews were killed. The Pentagon was hit by a missile instead of a plane and the Twin Towers were brought down by a controlled, pre-planned demolition.

‘She’s not having a kid to that … that Islamic!’ In 1999, Princess Diana and her boyfriend, Dodi Fayed, died after a high-speed crash in Paris. Some suspect rogue elements within MI6, who felt Diana’s relationship with Dodi, an Egyptian Muslim, was a threat to the British state. At an inquest in 2007, a letter by Diana to her butler was presented, claiming “my husband is planning ‘an accident’ in my car, (involving) brake failure and serious head injury”. What the believers say: Dodi’s father, Mohamed al-Fayed – Fulham FC‘s owner – last year bankrolled the film Unlawful Killing, which claims Prince Philip orchestrated the deaths.

Nothing to see here During the Second World War, the US navy was trying to use Einstein’s Unified Field Theory to bend light around battleships, effectively making them invisible. Conspiracy theorists believe that during the experiment, a destroyer called the Eldridge, through some kind of complication with cosmic forces – it’s not entirely clear – was sent hurtling through space and time, reappearing in the middle of the ocean, with several sailors bonded into its superstructure. What the believers say: The Philadelphia Experiment might have backfired but it was merely the first step in a series of covert operations which, by the 1970s, had opened a whole Pandora’s box of experiments in interdimensional ‘shifting’.

If you believe they put a man on the moon … Two years after the Apollo manned lunar missions of the Sixties were completed, the first hoax theories surfaced, featuring the spectacular claim that Nasa had faked the whole thing to shore up funding and avoid losing the

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Clockwise: The attacks on New York were an inside job; aliens landed at Roswell; Mohamed al-Fayed reckons the royals killed Diana

space race with the Soviets. Some suspect the film of Neil Armstrong stepping on to the moon was fact in fact sponsored by Disney and produced by Stanley Kubrick, following a script written by sci-fi author Arthur C Clarke. What the believers say: Photographs from the lunar surface show camera crosshairs partially behind rocks, a flag planted by Buzz Aldrin moves in a strange way, there are no stars visible and the shadows fall in different directions.

ET arrives early It’s true that something crashed at Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947, but although the US military maintains it was a weather balloon, it has become an article of faith for UFO anoraks that an alien craft was recovered. After conducting thousands of interviews and accessing classified documents through Freedom of Information, researchers Kevin Randle and Donald Schmitt published two books, which remain influential, insisting alien crafts crashed at Roswell. What the believers say: Walter Haut, the military public affairs officer who drafted the initial press release in 1947, claimed in a 2002 affidavit that he saw alien corpses and a craft and that he had been involved in a cover-up.

Photos: Getty

The lizard people bide their time The Illuminati was founded in the 18th century as a secret society of thinkers and many believe they have survived, intervening in the Battle of Waterloo, the French revolution and JFK’s assassination. Their current objective, apparently, is a vast conspiracy, planned for generations, to establish a New World Order – a one-world government with one unit of money, comprising a handful of inter-related global elites. What the believers say: British writer David Icke is one of foremost experts on this superconspiracy, taking it one step further, claiming those behind the New World order are in fact shape-shifting reptiles who live in subterranean tunnels.

THE OLDEST OF THE LOT… JESUS HAD A KID As early as the third century, the theory that Jesus had blood releatives was being floated by Sextus Julius Africanus, a Roman philosopher and writer. This idea of Desposyni – the name for Jesus’s relatives – has since been extrapolated even further, most notably by Dan Brown, author of The Da Vinci Code. The conspiracy theory holds that Jesus married Mary Magdalene, had one or more children, and that those children or their descendants – the secrets of the bloodline is in fact the Holy Grail of Arthurian myth – emigrated to southern France. Once there, they intermarried with the noble families that would eventually become the Merovingian dynasty, whose special claim to the throne of France is championed today by a secret society called the Priory of Sion – whose leaders down the ages included Leonardo da Vinci and Isaac Newton.

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In trouble: Liam Jurrah

JURRAH EMBROILED IN TRIBAL VIOLENCE AUSTRALIAN RULES Melbourne forward Liam Jurrah was taken into custody after allegedly being part of a machete attack in a remote indigenous community in the Northern Territory last week. Jurrah, 23, has so far insisted he did not commit the serious assault, which is the latest episode in an ongoing tribal feud that has split the community of Yuendumu since the stabbing death of a 21-year-old in late 2010. ‘’He’s always been very comfortable in Melbourne, doing what he does really well, which is clearly playing football,’’ Melbourne chief executive Cameron Schwab said of Jurrah. ‘’But he has also had other responsibilities that he has a similar attitude towards, and from time to time balancing his life here and his life in Northern Territory is challenging.”

WHITE TURNS BACK ON ENGLAND TOP JOB RUGBY UNION ACT Brumbies coach Jake White is staying with the Super Rugby franchise and won’t be applying to fill the vacancy at the head of England’s national squad. “I’m here for four years with the Brumbies,” White said, quashing speculation he might be on the move. “I’ve signed on the bottom line and you’ve got to judge people by their actions.” White, who won the 2007 Rugby World Cup with South Africa, said he had a full backing of his young Brumbies squad. “More than 200 per cent,” he said, adding that the players believed him at his word. “One thing I do as coach is make sure I never lose the changerooms.” 50

Born to run: Woroud Sawalha of Palestine competes in the Women’s 800m at the IAAF World Indoor Championships in Istanbul. Unfortunately, she’s not out in front – this shot shows her just as some other competitors are about to lap her. Still, nice to be involved

COACH WANT REFEREE BIG WEEK FOR ... ERRORS ADJUSTED RUGBY LEAGUE Canberra Raiders coach David Furner has suggested scorelines should be altered restrospectively to take refereeing mistakes into account. Furner, aggrieved at several crucial refereeing calls that went against his side in their 24-19 loss to Melbourne last weekend, said clubs deserved something from acknowledged errors. “Is there a chance that although in that case the Storm get the two points that you get to rectify your for-and-against?” Furner asked. “There could be a way there to take four points away or six points away or add, which will affect the for or against.” The league dismissed his suggestion.

Shane Watson will captain the Australia ODI side for the first few matches against the West Indies – the first is to be played on Friday – while regular skipper Michael Clarke recovers from a dodgy hamstring. Watson has a fair bit on his plate – he opens the batting and bowls increasingly vital overs – and the fact he is now the stand-in captain underlines his importance in the postPonting era.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK To be fair to me and to be fair to the people paying to come watch me fight, I certainly wouldn’t want to rob them of the money Former AFL star Barry Hall pulls the plug on his boxing career, claiming his heart wasn’t in it. Points for honesty

Emerging: George North

PREVIEW Six Nations set for St Patrick’s Day climax WALES V FRANCE

SATURDAY 2.45PM, BBC1

ENGLAND V IRELAND SATURDAY 5PM, BBC1 When it comes to northern hemisphere rugby, Wales are probably the most appealing side for the neutrals, and they could be crowned Six Nations champions this weekend. Whereas France are a little too Gallicly insouciant – flamboyant to the point of flakiness – and England have, in the past anyway, played some of the most dour, uninspired rugby ever seen, Wales strike a happy medium. They have the working-

class grunt up front that is complemented by dash and creativity out wide. Once the curtain-raiser between Italy and Scotland is out of the way, the real stuff starts, Wales and France going toe-totoe before England and Ireland clash, the men in green undoubtedly hoping for an extra reason to celebrate their national day. Should Wales emerge triumphant, they will be worthy winners. Although the tournament immediately following a World Cup can be hard to decipher, Wales have managed to promote their young guns, such as teenage winger George North, without sacrificing short-term results.

THE CHAT | Messi’s place in the pecking order

It’s sad for Andre … he’s the man whose head’s on the block and unfortunately goes Chelsea captain John Terry on sacked manager Andre Villas-Boas. Spare us the crocodile tears, you Stamford Bridge Iago

If he’s not able to block out the criticism that’s probably going to come his way, he might find it a bit difficult Karmichael Hunt has a tip for fellow league-to-AFL marketing tool Israel Folau. The pile of cash should be some comfort

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

CRICKET Lionel Messi scored five goals in the Q After Champions League last week, there was a rush to assess the Barcelona striker’s greatness. So, where does he sit on the all-time list? this year, Brazilian star Pele was asked whether A Earlier Messi deserved to be considered the best player ever. His response: “When Messi’s scored 1283 goals like me, when he’s won three World Cups, we’ll talk about it.” Pele’s bravado engages the broader truth that people can go too early on these kinds of discussions. Certainly, Messi deserves to be mentioned, but he’s 24 and Pele’s point that Messi hasn’t done much for Argentina is entirely fair. The rush to declare him the greatest ever should be deferred until after the next World Cup.

West Indies v Australia Straight into another ODI series Friday 1.30pm, Sky Sports 4

RUGBY UNION Sharks v Reds A tough road game for the champions Saturday 3pm, Sky Sports 1

TENNIS Indian Wells Masters Handy: Lionel Messi

Who will end up in the final? Sunday 8pm, Sky Sports 2 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: TOM STURROCK tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

Dignified: Peyton Manning has left his beloved Colts

Manning departure shames Stamford Bridge powerplay Colts legend moves on while Chelsea stars cling to the dying light

» Agree or disagree? What do you think of Chelsea’s player coup? letters@tntmagazine.com 52

At the start of 2011, Ian Thorpe announced, to much fanfare, that he wanted to go to the London Olympics. It now looks like he will fail to qualify, suggesting the fuss was unjustified. The announcement of Thorpe’s comeback, if you recall, was absurdly stagemanaged, a corporate sponsor reading the statement while Thorpe sat alongside, looking bored. Thorpe, of course, is entitled to do what he likes. He wanted to train and try to go to another Olympics, so good luck to him. But the attention paid to him was misplaced. He was never going to make a splash in London. It was a pipe dream.

“

The attention paid to him was misplaced

”

That Thorpe’s name-recognition trumped realism says much about the Australian media. It was too lazy to focus on someone like James Magnussen – still relatively unknown given he’s a world champion in the boutique 100m freestyle – preferring the easy option of wheeling Thorpe out for a few farewell laps.

Photos: Getty

While Chelsea’s veterans were basking in the afterglow of saving their skins by getting their manager sacked last week, Peyton Manning – one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, who turned the Indianapolis Colts from basketcases into Superbowl winners – was moving on to make room for his replacement. Fans of American football will be all too familiar with Manning – to the uninitiated, he has been a giant of the American game during the past decade. A four-time MVP, he sits third on the list of all-time passing yards and all-time touchdowns; in 13 seasons with the Colts, he made the Pro Bowl – like the All Stars – 11 times. When he arrived in Indianapolis, they were a prime candidate for relocation to Los Angeles, but Manning turned the team around, leading them to Superbowl glory in 2007. Throughout, he has remained an affable, team-oriented cleanskin in a world of super-charged egos. Manning missed last season through injury, with disastrous results for Indianapolis, who, as a result of their lowly finish, obtained the top pick in the upcoming draft. They will likely use it on Andrew Luck, one of the brightest young quarterbacks to come through the system in years. It all added up to Manning ‘being released’ – despite declaring in the past that he wanted to finish his career with the Colts, he departed without acrimony. Consider the comparable situation at Chelsea, where everyone knows that an ageing list must be refurbished. And that, of course, would mean veterans such as Frank Lampard, John Terry and Didier Drogba not featuring as prominently. Admittedly, there has not been the critical mass of disgraceful showings that forced the Colts’ hand. Nor is there a prized draft pick usurping the old guard. But the difference in circumstances is overshadowed by the difference in reaction – where Manning understood his time was up and departed for the good of his beloved franchise, Chelsea’s veterans gracelessly conspired to bring down a manager who threatened their status, despite the damage it has done to their club.

THORPE RETURN SET FOR ANTICLIMAX

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The Magic Weekend. Etihad Stadium, Manchester. 26th & 27th May SATURDAY 26TH MAY Castleford Tigers v Wakefield Wildcats 1pm Warrington Wolves v Widnes Vikings 4pm Hull FC v Hull KR 7pm

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SPORT SHOULD BE SEEING THE BIGGEST RIVALRIES IN ONE PLACE

Sport as it should be

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Start your engines A new season of Formula One begins this weekend. Can anyone stop Sebastian Vettel? WORDS TOM STURROCK

It will be a long time before a driver produces a Formula One season as dominant as Sebastian Vettel’s in 2011. The championship race had barely turned its first corner when the German (above) was already streets ahead, winning five of the first six races, often in a manner that suggested the other drivers simply didn’t have the hardware to compete. When the new season begins in Melbourne this weekend, there will be a handful of storylines worth following, but the main question to be answered this year is whether any of the teams, any of the drivers, can prevent Vettel claiming a third straight drivers’ championship.

Red Bull’s advantage may narrow In 2011, Vettel had the advantage of driving a car vastly superior to his rivals’. Surely, the other teams will have closed the gap on Red Bull this year – if not entirely, then at least far enough to make Vettel sweat a little more. That said, Red Bull boss Christian Horner is adamant Vettel can, given his youth, improve further. “You forget how young he is, he’s still 24 years of age,’’ Horner says of his main man. “We’ve yet to see his best. He’s still emerging and blossoming as a driver, as a talent, and I think there is some strong years to come from him. “Sebastian’s quite a humble guy and he almost can’t believe the illustrious company that he sits with, with the achievements he’s got in the sport.”

Webber second cab off the rank Red Bull might be fond of their prodigy but it must chaff Mark Webber to play second fiddle. The Australian had an outstanding season in 2010, leading the championship at one point before his team’s preference for his younger teammate took its toll. Then, last year, Vettel left the chasing pack, including Webber, in the dust. At 35, Webber might not have many years left at the top level, but seems happy to support 54

Vettel. “It still might not be enough to win the race, as McLaren might be 30 seconds down the road,” Webber says. “But in terms of racing among ourselves, we know how it works within the team. If that’s good enough to be ahead of everyone else, then happy days.’’

Make or break for McLaren When Jenson Button, then the world champion, joined McLaren for the 2010, it looked like the manufacturer had assembled a British dream team, pairing Button with 2008 champion Lewis Hamilton. They’ve spent much of the interim chasing the Red Bulls, though – an experience which left Hamilton frustrated, while Button made a better fist of it, suggesting that, if the necessary improvements are made to the car, he could be the man to overhaul Vettel. “Last year I felt I did the best with the car I had, that I really grew with the team, felt a big part of McLaren, not just a driver, but a big part of the team,” Button says. “So there are no excuses this year. I feel we have everything. “There’s nothing to fall back and say, ’This is the reason why we didn’t win in 2012’.”

Kimi back in the saddle The two Brits aren’t the only one-time world champions with Vettel in their crosshairs – Kimi Raikkonnen, the Finnish driver who broke through in 2007, before slipping off the pace and walking away from the sport at the end of 2009, is back in the game, having signed to drive for Lotus. At his peak, Raikkonnen was renowned for his steely temperament and powers of concentration and, although only time will tell whether his car is powerful enough for him to challenge, he has been flying in testing. “The fastest time at the end of the day looks good but no one will know how fast any of the cars are until we get to qualifying at Albert Park,” Raikkonen said. “All the changes

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Clockwise: Mark Webber; Melbourne’s Albert Park; Jenson Button we have made over testing have been improving the car, so we’ll have to see what happens in Melbourne. I’m positive.”

Frustrating times for Alonso Fernando Alonso – who, in 2005 and 2006, was the last man to win back-to-back world championships – may still be the best driver in the world pound-for-pound, but early indications from Ferrari suggest the Spaniard could be in for a difficult year. Ferrari’s technical chief Pat Fry has attempted to water down expectations by suggesting the team will not challenge for the podium. Alonso is more optimistic. “The new single-seater has some characteristics which are difficult to understand and maybe we’re not where we want to be yet,” Alonso says of the new car. “But we’ve all lived through many Formula One seasons and we know very well that until we’re in Australia, we don’t really know where we stand against the others. “There’s lots of talk and many ideas, but nobody knows the truth. What counts is not to be first in the first race but in November, at the end of the championship.”

Photos: Getty

Schumacher still chasing glory Seven-time world champion Michael Schumacher retired for three seasons before deciding to get back behind the wheel and, at 43, he believes he’s got a few more laps in him. He hasn’t won a race since his final pre-retirement season in 2006 but the German, although circumspect, believes his Mercedes may now be capable of challenging the favourites. “The car is reliable which is already good,” Schumacher says. “The first impression was already quite positive. We were driving out of the box with the car and everything went well, so there is potential. “Victory to me is unlikely, I see Red Bull in front. Behind them it will be tight, and you can be either hero or zero very quickly. It will come down a lot to the ability of how well you will be setting up your car to the respective track.”

PLAY NICE, LADS MASSA-HAMILTON FEUD Tempers boiled over more than a few times last season, Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa clashing several times on track and fractiousness sometimes spilling over into post-race press conferences. They have a history dating back to Hamilton’s championship-winning season, when he snatched the title from under Massa’s nose, in front of his home crowd in Sao Paolo. There was also an incident in which Massa spat champagne at Hamilton. But last year, it escalated, the pair colliding an extraordinary six times in a single season, both men falling over themselves to blame the other, fomenting the existing bad blood between them. At the end of the season, the pair appeared to bury the hatchet but the true test of their rapprochement will come under the pressure of race conditions. Will another prang spark an all-out slanging match?

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Senior Sales Executive (UK & Ireland) On the Go Tours (www.onthegotours.com) is a forward thinking adventure tour operator currently recruiting for a dynamic and energetic Senior Sales Executive with a strong sales background to start asap on a permanent basis based in West Kensington. This is an exciting role that involves selling to the trade, maintaining and growing our key agent accounts throughout the UK & Ireland and identifying and developing new accounts. The successful candidate needs to demonstrate commercial acumen with the ability to identify creative joint marketing opportunities through to execution and achieve set sales targets. They will be required to attend both agent and consumer events outside of work hours and to travel overseas hosting agent FAM trips throughout the year. The ideal candidate will need to be flexible, outgoing and demonstrate excellent written and verbal communicational skills as well as have the right to work in the UK for longer than 2 years. ALL APPLICANTS MUST FULFIL THE FOLLOWING PREREQUISITES: - Proven sales experience, preferably in the travel trade industry - Be able to work independently - Communicational skills adept to all levels - To have travelled to at least 4 of our destinations - To be able to work flexible hours, weekends and evenings - A valid, clean driver’s license - Proficient in MS Word, Excel and PowerPoint - To be fluent in English, both written and spoken - The right to work in the UK for longer than 2 years Basic salary is up to £25K depending on experience with OTE £32K PA. Company car provided.

If you are motivated, looking for a new challenge and believe you are right for this position then we would love to hear from you. Email pru@onthegotours.com with your CV and covering letter. Applications close Friday 23 March 2012. No recruitment agencies please – unsuitable applicants will not be responded to.

Bavarian Mountain Tours

SALZBURG

AUSTRIA

TOUR WITH US AND… Hallstatt Tours

Explore this beautiful part of Austria together with our passionate tour guides - our mini vans take you where the large coaches can’t. Let us inform you about who we are, how we work and how we may be able to contribute to an unforgettable trip. Enjoy your trip in a mini van that takes you to places large coaches can’t get to.

Sound of Music Tours

Let us provide you with an exciting mixture of historical sights, legends, folklore and breathtaking views. See Salzburg through the eyes of our local tour guides, who are passionate about their home. Tel: 0043-662-849511 email: office@bobstours.com www.bobstours.com

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HOLI MOLEY! These Indian ladies will need to stock up on loofers and give themselves a good scrub after celebrating Holi in Calcutta. The ‘Festival of Colours’ is a popular Hindu spring celebration in which people take to the streets and pelt each other with coloured paint and water.

Photos: Adam Edwards, Getty, TNT

INSIDE

PEAK PERFORMANCE /60

TOO HIP TO HANDLE /68

THE TRUE TANZANIA /74

Up north in the Peak District – arguably England’s adventure capital – snow is a deterrent for no one.

The ‘couch surfing 2.0’ concept helps you see uber-cool Berlin like a local. We try it out in search of the capital’s cutting edge.

Discover balmy natural springs and booty-shaking African clubs away from the country’s uniform safari-and-khaki scene. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

@tntmagazine

Blaze of glory: the fiery Las Fallas festival

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

BIGGING UP BRITAIN “Why go all the way to Bondi when you can come to Bridlington?” asks Harry Potter star Rupert Grint, barely containing the shivers behind his grin as he bravely sports a wetsuit on the Yorkshire coast. It’s all part of the government’s new ad campaign to try to keep Brits in the country on ‘staycation’ throughout 2012, a landmark year, thanks to the Olympics and the Diamond Jubilee.

LAS FALLAS Valencia, Spain This city-wide celebration is named for the huge papier-mâché sculptures that each neighbourhood displays around town. The fallas 17-20 themselves are colourful – and often grotesque – effigies designed to satirise celebrities and political figures. On the final day of the festival, the fallas are set alight, bathing the streets in a blazing light. MAR

WHY: Las Fallas dates back to the 15th century, and brings hundreds of thousands of tourists to Valencia each spring. It’s held in honour of St Joseph’s Day, which is when the gigantic fallas are burned to welcome the new season. It also makes a great setting for a street party.

STARKBIERZEIT Munich, Germany

valencia-cityguide.com

WORLD’S SHORTEST ST PATRICK’S DAY PARADE Hot Springs National Park, US

Munich celebrates St Joseph’s Day with two 9-25 weeks of the Strong Beer Festival, offering up potent brews that were first created by Munich’s Paulaner monks to get them through Lent. MAR

muenchen.de

INTERNATIONAL PIZZA EXPO Las Vegas, US

There are plenty of big, boisterous St Paddy’s 17 celebrations around the world this week, but if you fancy something on a smaller scale, head over to the 98ft Bridge Street in Arkansas – the self-proclaimed ‘world’s shortest street in everyday use’. Expect floats, marching bands and the occasional leprechaun, to be sure. MAR

shorteststpats.com

Fans of the unparelleled cheese-tomato-dough combo 13-15 will be in their element at this expo, featuring the World Pizza Games. See the dough-spinning competition, attempts at the largest dough stretch, and the mysteriously monikered ‘freestyle acrobatics’. MAR

pizzaexpo.com

DO IT BECAUSE: The festival is also known for its enormous fireworks displays – they’re so loud that, apparently, pregnant women are barred from attending. Parades, paellacooking competitions and bullfights also fill these crazy, hazy days.

MONTE CARLO SPRING ARTS FESTIVAL Monte Carlo, Monaco MAR

Four weekends of art, music, theatre and dance, plus beaches and blue skies.

printempsdesarts.com

Photos: Getty

This is Britain’s first-ever national campaign to promote holidaying at home. And while suggesting that a pilgrimage to Bondi is a waste of time and money when you can rock up to a minor fishing port and risk hypothermia in the North Sea instead, might be slightly over-stating the case, I’m astounded that it’s taken this long to start advertising what the UK has to offer. The folk here are an untapped audience if a recent survey by hotwire.com is anything to go by – it showed that 71 per cent of Londoners have been to Paris, compared with just 69 per cent who have visited Wales. Why is the UK so grossly overlooked as a holiday destination, by both the people who live here, and a government that has only just woken up to the possibilities? Yes, it’s pretty snicker-worthy that the New York Times reckons Birmingham is the 19th must-see destination of the year (no disrespect to Brum, great weekend away, but better than Kerala and Uganda? Really?). And paying £15 for a tour of Croydon suggests an excess of time and funds and a loss of the faculties. But the UK does possess a wealth of great short breaks that, while right on our doorstep, are languishing, unloved. Sod 2012 – the UK is a great place to holiday any time. See our UK Trip section every week for fresh, exciting ideas.

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‘GREAT’ DISCOUNTS Discounts of 20.12 per cent on hotels, restaurants, attractions and museums are being introduced across Britain as part of the government’s new ‘Holidays at home are GREAT’ campaign. In an effort to encourage more Brits to staycation during the year of the Olympics and the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, the biggest ever collection of offers and deals aimed at holidaying in Britain are now available from great2012offers.com. The culture secretary Jeremy Hunt, said: “People nowadays think that going on holiday means going abroad – we’re trying to change that.”

IN-FLIGHT MAC D’S The eternal conundrum that is “Mac D’s or KFC?” could be coming to a plane near you, if predictions for what we can expect from flights of the future come true. A jetcost.co.uk poll found that 46 per cent of Brits reckon there will be fast food outlets onboard planes by 2020, while 44 per cent believe that secure smoking areas will be introduced en route. A hopeful 35 per cent think that tablet computers will be introduced for every passenger, and a randy 23 per cent are holding out for private rooms.

FIND HOT MEN HERE Stockholm is home to the world’s hottest men, according to US website travelersdigest.com. The site put together a list of the top 10 cities for ogling fit blokes, with the home of True Blood hottie Alexander Skarsgard taking the top spot ahead of New York, which came in second. Sydney came sixth, thanks to its rep as a habitat for platinum-locked, buff surfer dudes. Here at TNT, we don’t like to discriminate, so see tntmagazine.com/travelhotties for our top five places to pull for boys and girls.

RECORD BREAKER This year’s TNT Travel Show at Earl’s Court attracted record numbers, with almost 14,000 of you devoting Saturday, March 3 to snapping up bargain travel. We’re also pleased to report that TNT’s ‘Mr Budgie Smuggler’ competition at the show drew a huge crowd, with some fine specimens stripping down to their pants for our viewing pleasure. See tntmagazine.com/ budgiesmugglers if you missed it. Big thanks to all who attended, and keep your eyes peeled for our Sun and Snow Travel Show later in the year.

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Thrills and spills: get your kicks kayaking

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Manchester

Peak District ENGLAND

Buxton

Peak District MAP

REQUEST ENGLAND PLEASE! LONDON

Stunning: a beautiful Derbyshire day

GETTING THERE Trains run from London to Derby, Sheffield, Stoke-on-Trent, Chesterfield and Macclesfield from £25 one-way. (eastmidlandstrains. co.uk) National Express also runs coaches between London and Chesterfield or Derby from £7.50 one-way. (nationalexpress.com)

Visit the old stone village of Calver for Sunday lunch at Derwentwater Arms, from £9.25. It’s a proper village pub with views over a valley. (derwentwaterarms.co.uk) Not just a great spot for watching articulated lorries rumble by, Simply Thai does lush curries from £7.75. (simplythaibuxton.co.uk) Have a drink at Vie Lounge piano bar in Chesterfield. It’s a chic hideout tucked away from the main drag, with cocktails from £5.75. Also, don’t forget to check out Chesterfield’s famous crooked spire. (vieloungederby.co.uk) Barley Mow (Main Street, Kirk Ireton) is a rustic village pub in the Derbyshire Dales that harks back to a bygone era. There’s no bar as such; beers, at £2.55 a pint, are drawn straight from the barrel and served through a hatch. Spend a night at the Barcelo Buxton Palace Hotel. It’s a Victorian landmark in a picturesque spa town, and its restaurant does great food. Bed and breakfast from £69pn. (barcelo-hotels.co.uk)

Numb: the writer braves the elements 60

Stay in a refurbished stone barn for something novel. Toft Barn sleeps 12 people and costs £1155 for three nights. (partyhouses.co.uk)

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UKTRIP

Peak performance

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, TNT

In England’s adventure capital, snow is a deterrent for no one WORDS REBECCA KENT

I am clinging awkwardly to a rock face, feeling like a prefairy-godmother Cinderella who has unwittingly stumbled on to a Spider Man film set. Thirteen stone and anchored below by my guide, Adam, who is of featherweight proportions, I wedge my walloping feet into holes the size of a matchbox and lurch my torso in the opposite direction to clutch at an opening. When I signed up for an adventure weekend in the Peak District, I was fully prepared for some physical challenges, but with my nose in the wall, I’m splayed like a fat gecko … and then it snows. Ice nestles upon my shoulders, in the crooks of my neck, it rests on my helmet and on my eyelashes, and I think to myself: “I didn’t sign up for this.” But I dare not complain outwardly. Rather than run for cover, rock climbers and adventurers all around me barely flinch at the inhospitable weather conditions. Adam continues to rig ropes and fasten carabiners, and my climbing partner, Tony, and I exchange a look that confirms neither of us will succumb while surrounded by hardy Northerners. The Peak District is an expanse of protected forestlands in Derbyshire, and is, arguably, England’s adventure capital. Though rock climbing, abseiling, scrambling and cycling is on our to-do list this weekend, these activities barely scratch the surface of possibilities. Hiking, exploring the natural caverns of Castleton – including one called the Devil’s Arse – canoeing, kayaking and hang gliding over the moors are also options for thrill-seekers. However, I’m happy to save those activities for another visit. Right now, I’m abseiling at a 45-degree angle, 30mhigh, on the rocky gritstone ridges of an area known as The Roaches – a mecca for outdoors enthusiasts. The temperature is sub-zero and I can’t feel my fingers or my toes, and I can’t muster a smile because my face has been paralysed by frost. I am smiling on the inside. Really. I move on to scrambling, which brings some life back into my extremities, and I’m excited, not least because up until now, it’s been difficult to understand what it actually is. Scrambling, it turns out, is essentially tackling a natural rocky obstacle course. I follow Adam as we mount boulders, sidle through narrow gaps, hike rocky paths and squeeze through tiny openings. After a 20-minute expedition, we emerge sopping wet from the snow, our legs bruised, and noses

dripping like taps. It has been unadulterated childlike fun. Overnight, in the spa town of Buxton, I watch lorries jackknife and traffic pile up on roads dumped with snow. But, the next morning, conjecture that the chaos would scupper a planned day of cycling fade, as I meet Alan, an ex-army officer and mountain biking extraordinaire, who beams: “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” We set off from New Mills and follow a trail along an old Midland Railway track, through the heart of the Peak District, pushing through ancient gates and swerving past numerous bounding dogs and their exuberant owners.

“

My face has been paralysed by frost

”

We stop for an hour to learn some techniques. I realise I’ve been kidding myself whenever I have announced, with total self-assuredness, that “I know how to mountain bike”. It’s more than just pedalling, I now realise. Alan teaches me a few tricks for biking up a mountain, careering down a mountain, riding over boulders without dismounting, braking sharply and not flipping on my head, and even doing a front wheelie. Normally, at the end of this lesson, we’d have tackled one of the district’s beckoning peaks. However, the white stuff is now almost ankle-deep, and a steaming hot chocolate is now the order of the day. But first, I size up a kerb and imagine a shallow rocky mass in its place, tug at my handlebars on the approach, lift the NEXT WEEK front wheel ever so slightly, clip the kerb Tandem biking in and promptly fall flat on my face. Maybe the Forest of Dean I’m not quite ready for the peaks. ❚ Peak Pursuits runs outdoor adventure experiences for £50 per person per day. ptpeakpursuits.co.uk A mountain biking skills course with Peak Outdoor Training is normally £75, but discounted to £50 for TNT readers who book by March 18. peakoutdoortraining.co.uk

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LATEDEALS

@tntmagazine

Sun and sea in Tenerife for just £194pp with lowcostholidays.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK ESSENTIAL EGYPT

£254

An eight-day tour is £254pp (save 25 per cent or 2-for-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours. com). Includes accommodation, guides and more. Book by March 25; departs April 7.

< £250

JORDAN An eight-day ‘Essential Jordan’ tour is £349pp (save 20 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Petra, Wadi Rum, Dead Sea, and more. Includes accommodation, some meals and guides; excludes flights and local payment. Book by March 25; departs April 29. PARIS Three nights is £379pp with Flight Centre (08444 999284; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference PARLONPAC12. Includes accommodation, city tour and transport from London St Pancras. Book by March 31; departs April 6. EGYPT An eight-day ‘Nile Discovery’ tour is £359pp (save 10 per cent) with Topdeck (topdeck. travel). Visiting Pyramids, Sphinx, Valley of the Kings and more. Includes accommodation, some meals, guides and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Departs March 25.

> £500 TURKEY & GREECE An eight-day Bodrum to Mykonos tour is £524pp (save 25 per cent or 2-for-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes seven nights on a private boat, some meals, tour leader and crew. Excludes flights, port tax and local payment. Book by March 25; departs June 24. ITALY A 12-day ‘Simply Italy’ tour is £900pp (save £159pp) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki.com/ lates). Visiting Rome, Florence, Milan, Venice, Sorrento and more. Includes transport and accommodation; excludes flights. Departs March 19. SAN FRANCISCO Four nights is £659pp (save £160pp) with Flight Centre (08444 999284; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference SFOPAC2. Includes accommodation, wine country day tour, and flights from Gatwick. Book by March 15; valid for travel April 12-May 2.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

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Photos: TNT, Tourism Spain, Getty

BERLIN Two nights is £159pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays). Includes B&B accommodation and flights from London Luton. Departs April 17. TENERIFE Seven nights is £194pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, selfcatering accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Departs April 11. MADRID Two nights in Madrid is £150pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays). Includes room-only accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Departs April 16. IBIZA Seven nights is £203pp with cheapflights.co.uk. Includes three-star, all-inclusive accommodation and flights from London Luton. Departs May 12. DUBLIN Four nights in Dublin is £175pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights from Stansted. Departs March 20. AMSTERDAM Two nights in Amsterdam is £172pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet. com/holidays). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights from Stansted. Departs April 17. MAJORCA Seven nights in Majorca is £241pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, all-inclusive accommodation and flights from Stansted. Departs April 29.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Daily life Everyday life can seem an uninspiring muse: there are rarely explosions, fast cars or extraordinary people. But real life is really what photography was made for. Your shots should be aesthetically pleasing but also have the potential to inform and record the way things really are. Take a step back from the hustle

and bustle and allow the lens to take in the scene before you. Everyday life is where we dwell and it should be exciting. Use your skill as a photographer to bring that out in an image: you have the tools to capture life in all its glory (or mundanity). Your goal should be to make the ordinary extraordinary.

WINNER VIEW FROM THE MANHATTAN HIGH LINE Kevin Thornhill, London

WHY IT WORKS This shot screams urban life, and the subject matter is familiar – we know it from our own late-night city experiences or through countless films and TV shows. With its artificially lit streets and the car light trails, it feels alive and vibrant. The pavements seem deserted, but on closer inspection ghostly figures emerge from under the glare of the street lamps.

RUNNER-UP FISHERMAN ACTIVITY IN SANUR BEACH Alit Apriyana, Singapore

RUNNER-UP WHY IT WORKS A classic travel shot of anonymous indigenous workers. What makes this image great is the way the fisherman has been caught mid-cast. The locals’ everyday life is illuminated by the dawn light, placing the men in deep silhouette and conjuring a perfect reflection on the water. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

WILDLIFE HOLIDAYS

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GALAPAGOS, ECUADOR

Blue-footed boobies and (below) the marine iguana and a giant tortoise How could anything but the Galapagos islands take the top spot? It annihilates the competition for two reasons: (1) much of the wildlife here is endemic to the Galapagos, which means you can’t see these species anywhere else, and (2) the animals are so used to groups of staring humans passing through that they are incredibly tame. As a result, you are guaranteed to see them and get your picture taken with them (though obviously don’t interfere with them – the Galapagos is host to a delicate ecosystem and tourism poses a significant threat). The selection of creatures on show here is nothing short of astounding. Blue-footed boobies – comical-looking seabirds with incongruously bright-blue feet – are irresistibly endearing. On the not-so-cute end of the scale, coalblack marine iguanas stalk the islands wearing an expression that denotes pleasure in evil-doings, their villainous demeanour enhanced by a habit of regularly sneezing out violent jets of snot. This is the delightful manner in which the iguanas expel excess salt 64 00

from the marine algae that forms their diet. Charles Darwin called them the “imps of darkness”. Go snorkelling from the islands’ beaches and these malevolent lizards will be swimming alongside you. Also sharing the water with you are Galapagos sea lions, a species so unabashed by human company that the young will feed from their mothers as you walk past them on land. Often a Galapagos trip will save the most mind-boggling animal until last – the Galapagos giant tortoise, 400kg beasts easily justifies the grand title. Try not to gawp too much, out of respect for your elders – these guys usually live more than 100 years in the wild. Of course, this sort of one-off experience comes at a price, and getting yourself to the Galapagos can seldom be done for under a grand. Approach it backpacker-style and trawl the city of Guayaquil for a late deal – we found ourselves on a five-star cruise at the bargain price of £750 by doing just that. galapagospark.org

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

BWINDI, UGANDA

The rather confrontational name that is Bwindi Impenetrable Forest National Park turns out to be an empty threat, fortunately – home to half the world’s population of the critically endangered mountain gorilla, this area has four habituated groups of the animal open to tourism. You won’t forget an encounter with these powerful primates, which, in spite of their stature, are considered surprisingly gentle. bwindiforestnationalpark.com

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Malmaison Hotels & Brasseries

CHURCHILL, CANADA

Home to all three of North America’s great bears – the grizzly, the black and the polar – Canada is a great place to see a range of fearsome fuzzies. Perhaps most impressive is the polar – the world’s largest bear. The small town of Churchill is invaded by about 1000 of them every October as they make their way to Hudson Bay, a fortuitous spot for hunting seals. Operators run tours in ‘tundra buggies’ at this time of year, and you can expect the bears to get frighteningly close. churchill.ca

MASAI MARA, KENYA

Let’s get it on

Known for its exceptional lion, leopard and cheetah population, Masai Mara is believed by many to be the ultimate safari destination. The Big Five are all present and correct – lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo, rhino – with zebras, giraffes, and hippos also thrown in for good measure. The famous migration of zebra, gazelles and wildebeest from the Serengeti in Tanzania between July and October is also a huge draw. tourism.go.ke

SABAH, BORNEO

The Bornean orangutan is an endangered species, thanks largely to deforestation. In Malaysian Borneo, the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre was the first official rehab project to devote itself to the species, opening in 1964. It’s a popular spot to see these incredible – and rapidly diminishing – great apes. With their shaggy red coats, expressive faces and gangly arms that can measure up to two metres, they easily beat Prince Harry to the coveted spot of ‘favourite ginger’ in our hearts.

MALMAISON OVERVIEW This is one hell of a sexy hotel, from the heavy red and purple velvet accents to sultry black walls, and even bathroom toiletries that purr with naughty temptation (‘take me home, I dare you’ taunts the label on the shampoo). In short, it’s impossible not to feel hot once you’ve checked into the Malmaison – even if Aberdeen is known as ‘the granite city’. (And in all fairness, that granite sparkles a decadent silver on a sunny day by the north-eastern Scottish coast.) WOW FACTOR Suites come with a free-standing bath in the middle of the room – just crying out for a saucy session for two. There are also huge power showers made for more than one at a time. Don’t forget to try the ‘whisky snug’ by the hotel bar, where you can try great Scottish single malts and blends. BILL PLEASE Rooms start at £99pn at the weekend. This is the place to take the mistress for a dirty getaway.

49-53 Queens Road, Aberdeen, AB15 4YP malmaison.com/hotels/aberdeen Fly direct from London Gatwick or London Luton to Aberdeen with easyJet from £22.99 one-way, including taxes (easyjet.com)

orangutan-appeal.org.uk

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TRAVELTIPS

Europe is great for wreck dives, especially Cyprus

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READERS’ TIPS

YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

looking at travelling to the Lake Q I’m District with a small group of friends for the first May bank holiday. We’ve decided it’s easier to get the train and then hire a car once we’re there, instead of driving from London. However, it’s really hard to find information on where to get the train to and where to stay – any advice? We’re also thinking of climbing Scafell Pike. Emily Moran, via email is a sensible decision – bank holiday A This motorway traffic can be a nightmare. I’d

scuba diving trips for this year. I have already been to Egypt and wondered if you could suggest somewhere that isn’t too far away and has some good dive spots? Sean, via email diving scene is often overlooked A Europe’s in favour of the colourful wildlife of tropical waters, but there are a number of interesting and unusual dives in Europe. Cyprus is a great place to go if you enjoy wreck dives. Heralded as one of the best wreck dives in Europe, the Zenobia is a sunken roll-on/ roll-off ferry, half a mile off the coast of Larnaca. A number of day trips operate for this dive and start from about £100. Dive Zenobia is a useful resource for information on the boat’s story (divezenobia.com). If ancient history is more your cup of tea, there are a huge variety of dive sites around Greece (Santorini, Naxos and Chios to name a few), and there is chance for you to spot ancient artifacts on them all – just make sure you don’t touch any of them, as it’s prohibited. Finally, for all-round great diving, Sardinia’s crystal clear waters are some of the best in Europe. The Secca del Papa dive is one of the most famous. On the north west coast of Sardinia, just off Tavolara Island, Secca del Papa is a bank of varying levels below the surface, which is home to octopus, moray eels and groupers that are happy to pose for photographs.

HOW TO SPEND COINS When travelling to a different country get rid of unwanted coins by stocking up on light items at the airport or train station. Choose things that won’t go off but you will always use, for example tissues, first-aid products and chewing gum. This prevents you from ending up with a heavy bag full of coins that can’t be exchanged, and means you always have supplies. Andrew Middlin, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

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Photos: Thinkstock

recommend taking the train from Euston to Windermere (with one change in Lancaster, Preston or Oxenholme), which should take a little more than three hours and put you in the heart of the Lake District. If you choose to stay in Windermere you’ll be spoilt for choice, as there’s lots of accommodation in town. You might want to rent a cottage as there’s a group of you – the self-catering properties at Windermere Marina village start at £395 for four people, and include use of the Old England Leisure Club & Spa (wmv.co.uk). Or combine your travel and accommodation costs and rent one of the VW campervans from Rainbow Camper Hire (vwcamperhire.net). If you want to hire a car, you can pick up one in Windermere from Lakes Car Hire (lakeshire.co.uk). Scafell Pike will be a great day out in May. Also consider heading to the Old Man of Coniston. It’s a steep uphill climb, but the views are amazing once you reach the top.

that winter is almost behind us Q Now I would like to start planning some

AVOID SCAM CABS TIP If you are flying into OF THE Vietnam’s Ho Chi Minh WEEK City from overseas, always, always walk down to the domestic terminal (two minutes) and get a Vinasun or Mai Linh cab instead of the scam cabs at the international terminal. You’ll save yourself £10 at least. Duncan Forgan, via Facebook

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

CAPE ST VINCENT, PORTUGAL Ryan Davis, from Canada

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

HAYLEY BOYD, 28

JENNIFER GAUDET, 30

Nelson, New Zealand

Prince Edward Island, Canada

BEST Sailing around Croatia. Just being on the boat, getting to swim so much, the weather – it all made the trip amazing. It was a pretty nice boat, too. There was a spa onboard! Seeing all the different islands was great.

Most memorable travel experience? Climbing a volcano in the Grenadines. It was extremely difficult, but I did it. Top travel tip? Always take a journal. When I read mine years after a trip, it really takes me back to that time. And I’m reminded of so many things I’d forgotten about. Ideal travel partner? My mum, in the sense that she hasn’t been to many places but would love to travel. I know she would appreciate it so much.

WORST There was one time in Ireland when a crazy man decided to start shouting at me. He just started following me down the street and shouting at me. I kept walking and didn’t look back, but it was a bit scary. » Tell us your best/ worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

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AMALFI COAST Abercrombie & Kent Villas has expanded its portfolio of luxury villas on the Amalfi Coast. Think indoor pools, in-house spas, and room for 22 people. Villas from £540pp based on 10 people sharing for a week and £673pp based on 22 people sharing for a week. (0845 6182215; akvillas.com).

THE INSIDER

CHRIS GALANTY Managing Director Flight Centre UK & South Africa

My first ever big trip was during my uni holidays, when I spent six weeks backpacking in Venezuela to research Venezuelan pop music for Warwick University. It was such a great way to get completely immersed in the culture. My most challenging travel experience was doing the Inca trail. Carrying all our camping equipment through the pouring rain would have been fine – it was the serious stomach bug I had at the time that was a huge challenge. My favourite place in the world is Thailand. The welcoming people, delicious food and vibrant culture really make it somewhere I want to go back to again and again. My guilty travel pleasure is at least one night in a nice, five-star hotel. My top travel tip is book your trips with an expert. It’s amazing how much more of the world you can see if you plan your holiday well. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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[Caption]karaoke at Mauerpark flea market Open-air

Berlin GERMANY

BERLIN

GERMANY

Psychedelic mini-golf GETTING GETTING THERE THERE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Fly from from London Heathrow or London Stansted to Berlin via Cologne-Bonn from just £24.99 each way with Germanwings. (germanwings.com) The writer with Dennis 68

d Discover Berlin’s famous undergroun subcultures, alternative lifestyle, street multicultural neighborhoods and e tours! art & graffiti scenes on our uniqu

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Too hip to handle The ‘couch surfing 2.0’ concept helps you see uber-cool Berlin like a local. We try it out in search of the capital’s cutting edge WORDS LAURA CHUBB

Playing psychedelic mini-golf at 1am underneath the café in Kreuzberg’s gritty Gorlitzer Park is precisely the experience I was hoping to get from ‘couch surfing’ with a Berlin local. Germany’s capital is such a popular alternative nightlife spot nowadays, most attempts at getting off the beaten path are met by a crowd of fellow native English speakers who got there well before you. But as I swing my club around these 18 trippy holes, moving through rooms that vary in theme from ‘underthe-sea’ to ‘cyberpunk-jungle’ – and all of them bathed in a bonkers UV light – I have the unique pleasure of swigging beer and potting balls as the only non-Berliner in attendance. It’s thanks to Dennis Elias, a 32-year-old soul singer who resembles a more delicate version of a Thelma And Louiseera Brad Pitt, that I’m here tonight. I found him on 9flats. com, which pitches itself a little grandly as ‘couch surfing 2.0’. The idea is that you make contact with a local who has a spare room for short-term rent, meaning that you get your own space and some valuable insider tips for about the same price you’d pay at a hostel. Dennis is a particularly helpful host. When I arrive at his flat, he sits me down in the kitchen and shows me an A4 sheet of paper on which he’s scribbled recommendations – front and back. Not only that, he’s numbered them and then transferred those numbers on to a map, so that I can find each place with ease. By the time he shows me my room – where there are chocolates on the pillow, and a basket furnished with fresh fruit and apple juice on the table – I am thoroughly ready to marry Dennis. Up-and-coming Kreuzberg is his top tip. When the city was divided, this area fell to the west of the wall, but was very much east of that side of the boundary. It became a ghetto for the counterculture; left-wing punks and immigrants moved in. Then the wall came down and they found themselves smack-bang in the centre of the city. The area has held on to its alternative, unpolished feel, and is home to a large Turkish population (some call it ‘Little Istanbul’). Dennis recommends I seek out the Turkish market around Maybachufer. Here, a short stretch of stalls sells funky T-shirts, garish-in-a-cool-way underwear and reams of fabric, bought up by the local hipsters to concoct their own creations.

Indeed, it’s easy to see that Kreuzberg is fast becoming Berlin’s favourite hipster hangout. Countless arty bars and restaurants squeeze in between gaudy casinos and kebab joints – just wander down Oranienstrasse and take your pick. New galleries pop up regularly, too. I stumble into Mai Foto on Dresdenerstrasse, where a collection of travel photos is mounted on lightboxes. Ending up at alternative mini-golf further proves this is Berlin’s ‘place to be’. The area I’m staying in, however, is Prenzlauerberg. This was more like Kreuzberg not so long ago; creatives squatted

“

It’s as though the capital is a canvas

”

in its war-torn buildings and opened up bars and art spaces. Today, it’s looked upon by the cutting-edge set as “too clean”, Dennis tells me. Developers moved in and spruced the place up, attracting families. Still, there are remnants of its more avant garde recent past. A five-minute walk from the flat, Galleria Zia Maria is a pizza-restaurant-cum-art-gallery. I’m served some exceptionally tasty slices in the most surreal of surrounds; white duvets are stapled to the ceiling and walls, covering every inch of space and converting diners’ chatter to soft murmurs, while a black-and-white film is projected on to clouds of fluff suspended from the ceiling. It’s a visual installation called ‘Seventh Heaven’. Every six weeks or so, a new installation takes over the restaurant, so you can never be sure what environment you’ll be eating in. On Sunday afternoon, Dennis takes me to the flea market at Mauerpark. It’s a warren of stalls selling everything from vintage cameras to Sixties- and Seventiesstyle furniture, by way of granny-chic jumpers and an embarrassment of strudels. In summer, there’s a chill-out area with a DJ spinning electronica, and live bands set up on the grass. Dennis walks me over to a graffiti-blanketed stone amphitheatre – he tells me that it hosts open-air karaoke when the weather is better, and attracts crowds of hundreds. ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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I ask him why he thinks Berlin is such a creative city. “People couldn’t express themselves for so long,” he responds. “So I think it’s all coming out now.” And I’m sure he’s right. Even outside of the city’s funky galleries and bars, storeowners paint their shop fronts, murals decorate apartment blocks, and I’ve never seen so much graffiti. It’s as though the capital is a canvas, on which its residents are not only expressing themselves, but also marking their territory. (See also the ‘Berliner backyard culture’, wherein many backyards beyond the city’s apartment block gates have been turned into showcases for street art). The new threat, of course, is the developers who come in and capitalise on ‘cool’, forcing prices up and the people who created it out. As we stroll the flea market, Dennis expresses surprise that it’s been going for a decade. “I hope it’s left alone and remains the people’s place,” he says. I tell him that nothing can last forever, and he agrees. But I really hope I’m not right. ❚ More info on staying with a local in cities around the world at 9flats.com. 9flats is also looking for London-based hosts

Located in the heart of Berlin’s young and trendy district of Prenzlauer Berg our hostel offers you the ideal mix of affordable accommodation and attractive ambience. Most of our modern and functional single, double and triple rooms are fitted with a customizable colourlighting, securing a relaxed and individual atmosphere.

BERLIN

AURORA HOSTEL Pappelallee 21 10437 Berlin (Prenzlauer Berg) Phone: +49 (0)30 46 99 55 30 www.aurora-hostel.com

Phone: +49 (0)30 46 99 5

NEXT WEEK All-action Algarve: Surfing, hiking and biking in southern Portugal

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

Check out local chain Kreuzburger for inventive burgers and hot dogs from £3.50 – the Bavarian burger with sauerkraut really works. Find it on trendy Oranienstrasser or in Prenzlauerberg. (kreuzburger.de). Galleria Zia Maria warrants return visits for both the art and the supercheap/ moan-inducingly good pizzas, from £1 a slice. (zia-maria.de)

Fill up on a ‘Worker and Farmer’ breakfast at Café Datscha, or choose from specials split into Proletariat, Peasantry, Intelligentsia and Collective. The painful past of Berlin’s east side had been turned into an almostaffectionate parody; a Russian folk version of Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time accompanied our meal. Mains from £5. (cafe-datscha.de/)

Enjoy a gourmet experience with a side of Berlin hip at Reinstoff, a Michelin-starred eatery set in a Prussian-era factory. From five courses for €87 (about £72). (reinstoff.eu)

DRINK

You’d think the ‘pay-what-you-want’ concept at Weinerei is plain asking for trouble, and, unfortunately, we hear that idiots paying €2 for several bottles of wine could put an end to it. But, for now, this relaxed bar continues to invite patrons to drink as much as you like, and then pay what you think it was worth at the end of the night. Be fair. (weinerei.com)

White Trash Fast Food might be having an identity crisis with its Chinese-restaurant-meets-Italiantrattoria-plus-fake-palm-trees décor, but offers live bands, a Sunday hangover flea market and a dangerous-when-drunk tattoo studio. Beers from £3. (whitetrashfastfood.com)

Dennis warns that Berghain – or ‘Panorama Bar’ – has the “toughest doorman in town”. So be sure to look especially cool if you want to get into this achingly trendy techno club housed in a former power plant. Entry is a reasonable £10; the money you spend after that depends on the level of debauchery (usually high) you want to achieve. (berghain.de)

SLEEP

Grab a travel buddy and share a room in a local’s flat from about £25pn through 9flats.com. Even better, every booking comes with free insurance to give you and your host peace of mind, and there’s even a helpline should you need assistance. Hosts are also rated by former guests and you can view their Facebook-style profiles on the website.

The awesome Huettenpalast offers refurbished camper vans arranged tastefully in an old vacuum factory, making for a unique budget boutique hotel. Doubles from €80pn (about £67). (huettenpalast.de)

Splash the cash in style at Soho House Berlin, once a department store that was later occupied by the post-war Communist regime and then left derelict, until it was transformed into today’s uber-exclusive private members’ club, complete with 40 bedrooms. (sohohouseberlin.com)

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, TNT

BUDGET

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Living it up This is Liverpool in 48 hours WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

DAY 1: 09:00 As far as the sophistication goes, Liverpool isn’t as obvious a destination as Florence or Paris, but the city earned its stripes in 2008, when it was named the European Capital of Culture. So get straight into what it has to offer in the way of art, with a visit to Tate Liverpool (tate.org.uk/liverpool), which holds the national collection of modern and contemporary art for the north of England – it’s well worth checking out. As of June, it’ll exhibit Turner, Monet and Twombly in a show that brings together the work of the three influential artists. 12:00 It’s time to get more acquainted with the city. There’s no better way to see the whole place than from above, so climb the steps (or take the lift) up the tower at Liverpool Cathedral (liverpoolcathedral.org.uk). It’s the biggest cathedral in the UK and the fifth largest in the world, so it’s worth stopping off to appreciate the interior, too. 13:30 Or adhere to the idea “heaven can wait” – the catchphrase at Alma de Cuba (alma-de-cuba.com), a restaurant and bar in a converted 200-year-old Polish Catholic church. Head back later in the evening at weekends for Latin-style dancers or on Sundays for brunch soundtracked by a live gospel choir. Tapas plates from £2.95. 15:00 It’d be pretty shameful to visit Liverpool and not do anything Beatles-related. So head out on the Magical Mystery Tour (cavernclub.org/beatles-tours), which leaves from the Albert Dock. You’ll be taken to the houses where each member of the fab four grew up, plus the real Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields. The guide knowledge (and tour-bus banter) is second-to-none and the trip is 72

soundtracked by some favourite Beatles tracks. Tickets are £15.95 per person. 19:00 Before you head out, treat yourself to a tasty dinner at Marco Pierre White Steakhouse Bar & Grill (mpwsteakhouseliverpool.co.uk). The menu, by the enfant terrible of the UK food scene, is pretty reasonable for what you get (about £15 for a good-sized main). The yellowfin tuna steak a la Sicilienne is a winner, especially when teamed with perfect roast spuds. 22:00 If you’re not too stuffed, head out for a drink. On Matthew Street, you’ll find plenty of busy bars and clubs, and to get more of your Beatles fill, hit The Cavern Club (cavernclub.org). It may not be the original one – it’s actually moved across the road – but it was built with many of the same materials to look so similar you could be fooled into thinking it is. Saturday nights include Beatles tribute groups and live-band-backed karaoke – so you can say you’ve performed on the same stage as the greats. 00:30 Head back to the newly refurbished Hotel Indigo (hotelindigoliverpool.co.uk), which is a 10-minute walk from the city centre and close to the waterfront. It’s clean, comfy and you get a lot for your money, including a free minibar. Rooms start from £80 per night. DAY 2: 09:00 After your hotel breakfast fry-up, sports fans should head to Anfield Stadium (anfieldtour.com), to say you’ve emerged from the tunnel on to the pitch of one the most successful clubs in English football. 12:00 To appease any vintage fans in your group, head to Bold Street. It’s got probably the best Oxfam in the country

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(it’s basically a vintage store, but without a weighty price tag). While you’re there, hit independent tea shop, Leaf (thisisleaf.co.uk) for a cuppa and a cheap lunch (they do a delicious Greek mezze that’s £10 and big enough for two). If you’re here at the right time, Leaf holds retro Sundays on the last Sunday of every month, with a vintage fair selling men’s and women’s clothing, accessories and homeware. 14:00 For some alternative modern art, head out of town to the coast. Get the number 53 bus, which leaves Queen Square in Liverpool city centre, to Crosby Beach, where you’ll find an in-water installation called Another Place by Antony Gormley. It’s made up of 100 cast-iron, life-sized sculptures of people dotted around, heading nearly one kilometre out to sea. One heck of a creepy sight. 18:00 You’ll be pretty hungry by the time you get back, so head to the Albert Dock for dinner at Blue Bar and Grill (bluebarliverpool.co.uk) overlooking the waterfront (international mains about £13). Head downstairs to Baby Blue for live, award-winning comedy, with stand-ups and sketch shows from around the world. 23:00 Continue your night at Le Bateau Club, a scuzzy, hedonistic venue about two minutes’ walk from the town centre. It has pop upstairs and indie downstairs. Cheap drinks flow freely, so be warned: you might not remember much of the place. Virgin Trains travel from London Euston to Liverpool Lime Street in about 2hrs 15mins. Advance tickets cost from £12 each way virgintrains.co.uk Also see visitliverpool.com

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Tanzania EAST AFRICA

Lake Chala Marangu

TANZANIA

GETTING THERE Return flights from London Gatwick to Dar es Salaam cost from ÂŁ444 with Turkish Airlines (turkishairlines.com/en-uk).

DAR ES SALAAM

The Marangu waterfalls, in the foothills of Kilimanjaro 74

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BIGTRIP

The true Tanzania Discover balmy natural springs and booty-shaking African clubs away from the country’s uniform safari-and-khaki scene WORDS ADAM EDWARDS

My bike kicks up a thick plume of orange our backs. I hear a faint rustling high above dust as I freewheel down the hill, legs us in the palms. “Monkeys!” yells my friend WHEN TO GO: Avoid visiting flailing. Bemused locals down hoes and stare Jordan, at the top of his voice, pointing up Tanzania in April and May, when open-mouthed at our strange convoy of to the canopy where a couple of curious the heavy rains arrive. There are granny cycles as a handful of small children vervets leer quizzically from the branches, also light rains in November. dance in the dust cloud, furiously waving lips pursed, eyes wide as saucers, their little CURRENCY: £1 = TZS2525 their little arms. To the locals, the sight of heads nodding from side to side. Two of the (Tanzanian shilling) 10 tourists riding rickety bikes through their adolescents scuttle down the tree to munch ACCOMMODATION: A backwater village is probably akin to an on fruit hanging just above the water. twin or double room at Twiga alien invasion. My friends and I have been in Tanzania Home, near Moshi, starts from My friends and I are cycling to Miwaleni for a couple of weeks, but until today we’d £8pn (moshi-hostel.com), Springs in the foothills of Mount Kilimanjaro barely veered off the beaten track. We’re while camping at Lake Chala – a meltwater aquifer about an hour’s ride keen to discover more of this Tanzania, Safari Camp costs £8pppn. Tent from Tanzania’s main east-west motorway, though, and beg our new local pals to show rentals are an additional £12pn along a sandy track that few outsiders have us more attractions the rest of the world has (lakechalasafaricamp.com). ventured down since the early Sixties, when yet to discover. SEE: tanzaniatouristboard.com the Union Jack was last lowered over this “Well, you’ve got to go to Pub Alberto,” former British protectorate. says Jenifa, at 23 the youngest of our Fields of large sunflowers reach up to the blazing African Tanzanian friends. “They play the best bongo flava there.” sun, chocolate-coloured goats bleat from the roadside, “Yes,” interjects her pal Ernest, who arranged the bikes distant mountain ranges shimmer in shades of purple and for our little jaunt. “Let’s shake our bodies!” jade – it’s a million miles from the open savannah and beach The club, in nearby Moshi – a leafy, low-rise town where resorts of the tourist brochures. Kilimanjaro climbers spend their final night of civilisation “Let’s race!” cries Hereswida, one of our newfound before ascending the mountain, which looms above the Tanzanian friends we met over beers a couple of nights ago. rooftops – is a bustling nightspot that blares out only He is now perched precariously above my back wheel. The the most hip-grindingly good tunes. We’re the only rest of the group takes this as their cue, whizzing past us, Westerners here – the Kili crowd tends to stick to the while we wobble from left to right. tourist hotspots churning out the same Eurotrash dance They eventually disappear over the horizon, to be music from back home. replaced by a line of trees crowning above the parched Thankfully, Pub Alberto’s raison d’être is its bongo flava, maize fields – a mini-oasis of palms and acacias strung East Africa’s energetic, booty-shaking answer to hip-hop and together with vines and creepers. R‘n’B. The gyrating couples bump and grind to the sultry, As Hereswida and I draw nearer, we find a handful of intoxicating beat, making Rihanna look like a prude. bikes casually abandoned in the ochre-red dust. The air Jenifa and Hereswida insist on teaching us how to throw echoes with the sound of splashing water and shrieks of some local shapes, dragging us to the dancefloor just as excitement and we follow a trail of T-shirts to the edge of our plate of chicken arrives – it’s a very laid-back hangout; a fast-flowing stream, where the rest of the group is already somewhere between a nightclub, a restaurant and a tiki bar. frolicking in the springs – much to the amusement of the Determined not to let good food go to waste, I start a new dozen or so locals who have arrived to see what all the craze: the chicken drumstick dance – boogying away, piece commotion is about. of poultry in each hand. It’s only the following morning that ›› A couple of us wade upstream and float back down on I discover the downside to this twist on the Macarena: TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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A worker at the vast Uchira mine

The writer bikes rural dirt roads my poor friend Suzi’s dress is covered in chicken grease. After helping her wash the stains from her clothes, the rest of the gang and I pile into one of the local minibuses and head towards a hand-hewn volcanic-mine in Uchira, a sleepy village at the base of Kilimanjaro where Ernest, Jenifa and Hereswida live. The minibuses – or dala-dalas – are designed to seat about 12, but anything up to 40 people, two goats and a dozen chickens can be crammed in these tiny vehicles. It’s not uncommon to spend a 30-minute journey suspended in mid-air by the sheer mass of bodies squished inside. There are less than 30 people onboard today – I even manage to nab a seat opposite a couple of hefty nuns, chatting loudly to each other in Swahili. It’s not all plain sailing: the bus’s suspension seems to be on the blink and every jolt in the road has us bouncing like we’re on a fairground ride. One particularly nasty pothole sends me flying out of my seat towards the mother superior – I only narrowly avoid giving her a lap dance. Fortunately, the sisters find the whole carry-on highly amusing. My friends and I bid the nuns farewell just outside Uchira, where we find a warren of pitch-black tunnels and fourstorey-high columned chambers carved deep into the hillside. We head underground, finding gangs of men cutting blocks of pumice stone – used locally in building – from the rock face, the flicker of gas lamps the only light to guide them. Outside, caravans of women walk up and down the steepsided entrance to the pit, four volcanic blocks balancing on each of their heads, cheap flip-flops on their feet. Our next destination, an hour’s drive east, couldn’t be further removed from the hubbub of the mine. A huge caldera lake glistens in the afternoon sun – the result of an enormous volcanic eruption some three-quarters-of-a76

A Chagga hut; above: baboons and booty-shaking million years ago. It’s blissfully quiet; just us, a troupe of olive baboons, and three ant-sized fishermen skimming across Lake Chala’s glassy, turquoise surface 300ft (100m) below. As we edge closer to the crater’s rim, the baboons slink off into the dense forest clinging to the caldera’s sheer walls, howling at us as they depart. We follow them down to the water’s edge, scrabbling along a barely trodden path – it’s a tough descent but well worth any pain we may feel tomorrow. A peregrine falcon hunts stealthily overhead;

Lake Chala, a hidden gem east of Uchira

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tropical birds hum in the trees, a family of colobuses lounge by the lake’s lapping shore – Ernest’s found us the epitome of a hidden gem. After bribing a fishermen to take us exploring in his canoe, we scale back up the caldera’s lofty ramparts to be greeted by the great snow-capped Kilimanjaro, soaring majestically above the plains, its blanket of clouds finally lifted. We stand in silence, necks craned skywards, staring in awe at the mountain towering over us. The scene proves too alluring to resist and we soon find ourselves bumping through its emerald foothills on yet another packed dala-dala. Huge waterfalls erupt from the hillsides, careering over jungle-covered cliffs, Evian-pure rock-pools glisten invitingly below rainbow-streaked spray, tiny chameleons blush in hues of yellows and greens – throw in a few dinosaurs and you’ve got the next sequel to Jurassic Park ready to go.

Gerald Sakaya

“

Gyrating couples make Rihanna look prudish

”

My friends and I set up base in Marangu, former capital of Kilimanjaro’s Chagga tribe, and explore the area. First on the list is a network of underground caves, hand-dug by the Chagga to protect against invasions by the Masai warriors, who used to regularly invade neighbouring tribes’ territory in pre-colonial times, plundering cattle and massacring entire communities in the process. A wizened old woman recounts in Swahili how her tribe would lure marauding Masais into the network of tunnels before slipping out of specially designed escape routes and entombing the enemy inside. She’s a master storyteller, raising her hands dramatically to the sky, before bringing them crashing back down in a sudden rush of adrenaline – we hang on Ernest’s every word as he translates between long, dramatic pauses. Intrigued, we decide to learn more about the wily Chagga – who were the first tribe in the country to embrace Christianity, and have all but abandoned other traditional ››

The Insider's guide Gerald Sakaya, who works for an agricultural development agency in the Kilimanjaro region, takes you off the beaten track in Tanzani. What is Tanzania’s best-kept secret? More than 28 per cent of Tanzania is given over to national parks and nature reserves, but, for some reason, most tourists stick to the Serengeti, Ngorongoro Crater and Lake Manyara in the north of the country. Just 120 miles (200kms) west of Dar es Salaam, though, is one of the world’s largest conservation area, the Selous Game Reserve – a vast, unpopulated wilderness that attracts surprisingly few visitors. The park is home to thousands of elephants, as well as some of the largest concentrations of lions, hippos, buffalo and crocodiles in East Africa – not to mention a quarter of the world’s wild dog population. Where’s good to relax? The beaches of Dar es Salaam are a great place to chill out, and it’s a lot cheaper than Zanzibar. The old colonial neighbourhood of Oyster Bay, north of the city centre, is extremely popular, while the beaches to the south of the city are completely unspoiled. I particularly love Kigamboni or “South Beach” – a five-minute ferry ride from Dar. It’s a really pretty resort where you can chill out on the beach, hire jet skis, play volleyball or party the night away. Where’s good for an adventure? The Uluguru Mountains near Morogoro are a stunning place to go hiking and climbing – with peaks that rise more than 8600ft (2600m) above sea level. You pass through pristine rainforests, stunning mountain gorges filled with waterfalls, and colonial buildings that are being slowly reclaimed by the jungle. Where’s good to party? Dar es Salaam has great bars and clubs, where you can listen to live bongo flava every day of the week. Another nice place is La Liga in Moshi – the DJs play every type of music imaginable.

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customs, including their native tongue and dress – with a visit to the ‘Chagga Live Museum’, essentially a traditional hut built by local people to teach the now entirely Westernised tribe about their past. It’s a fascinating place – far superior to the tourist-trap Masai villages that line the motorway. My friends and I are particularly interested to hear about the Chagga’s dalliances with illegal brewing – apparently they’re masters at turning bananas into anything alcoholic – and set out in search of some homebrew. Our man Ernest comes up trumps once more, sweettalking a bar owner into fetching us her secret stash of banana beer from the backroom. It’s stand-your-spoon-in-it thick, but incredibly moreish – like a big, beery helping of Angel Delight. The bar is heaving with half-cut locals swaying to an almost salsa-esque beat. A couple of the girls decide to get up and dance, shimmying their way into the middle of the crowd, beckoning the rest of us over to join them. “Right,” I say to my friend Suzi. “You order the chicken drumsticks; I’ll meet you on the dancefloor.” ❚

A typical village market, in Uchira

BEST OF THE REST

A miner carries pumice

TANZANIA’S TOURIST HOTSPOTS THE SERENGETI Between October and November, more than two million wildebeest, zebras and antelope pour across the crocodileinfested Mara River in search of pastures new in Tanzania. Braving lions, leopards and hyenas, the herd follows the rains to the great southern plains, giving birth en masse during January and February, before slowly munching its way back north to Kenya for the summer. How: A three-day safari in the Serengeti and Ngorongoro Crater costs £500 (including food, drinks, fees, four nights’ accommodation and optional transfers to Nairobi. Excludes alcohol). See: absoluteafrica.com

ZANZIBAR A two-hour ferry ride (or 20-minute flight) from the frenetic African metropolis of Dar es Salaam is another world entirely: white powdery sand, translucent seas, neon-coloured fish – a little slice of Mauritius or the Seychelles at just a fraction of the price. But it’s not all jet skis, scuba diving, cocktails and luxury on this Indian Ocean paradise. Intrepid travellers can get lost in the winding streets of Stone Town, explore abandoned Arab palaces, and learn about the island’s dark slaving history. See: zanzibartourism.net

Photos: Adam Edwards, Dee Danahay, Lake Chala Safari Camp

KILIMANJARO The world’s tallest free-standing mountain has “climb me” written all over it. Standing at more than 19,300ft (5895m), Kili’s snow-capped summit is nearly five times the height of Ben Nevis and towers forebodingly above the plains. But despite its impressive stature, Africa’s highest peak is considered a relatively easy ascent – most unsuccessful climbers fall foul of altitude sickness rather than the climb itself. How: A seven-night Kilimanjaro trek starts from £770pp (including food, accommodation and fees. Excludes drinks). See: climbingkilimanjaro.com

NEXT WEEK Morocco: A whirlwind tour of the country A chameleon fails to blend

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3 DAY

Western Front Dep. 23 Apr 2012

ONLY

Dep. 23 Apr 2012

TURKEY

Raid

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4 DAY

ONLY

TURKEY

All ANZAC hotels in Turkey have FREE WIFI facilities

£299

www.topdeck.travel/festivals

SUMMER FESTIVALS đƫ đƫ đƫ đƫ đƫ đƫ

1 Day London Royal Ascot Races 4-7 Days Pamplona (RUNNING OF THE BULLS) 4 Days La Tomatina 4 Days Edinburgh Festival & Tattoo 4-7 Days Oktoberfest 3-4 Days Bank Holiday Weekends Brugge & Amsterdam U K Gold Backpacen k

WI N N E R Favourit Festivalse Operato r As voted by you!

Check online for dates and details! facebook.com/TopdeckTravel trips for 18 to 30 somethings

twitter.com/TopdeckTravel L8291 / Y2992

TNT_1489_travel.indd 92

*Terms & Conditions apply. Flights not included. Subject to availability.

8/3/12 17:10:49

www.topdeck.travel/deals

EuroCamping

Europe Unplugged

Europe Express

Dep. 18 May 2012 Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Venice, Munich, Amsterdam, Brugge, plus more!

EuroClub

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Dep. 3 & 24 May 2012 Includes Paris, Rome, Prague, plus more!

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Includes £150 Food Fund

22 DAY

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£1410

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Includes £315 Food Fund

£1075

28 DAY

Discover Europe Dep. 15 May 2012 Includes Barcelona, French Riviera, Florence, Budapest, plus more!

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WAS

£1170

Includes £240 Food Fund

Northern Exposure 10% OFF

WAS NOW

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NOW

WAS

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NOW

11 DAY

TRAVEL

EuroClub

ON SALE

£2750

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CALL US 0845 257 5210 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

*Prices quoted are for speciﬁc departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off trip prices only, and do not include food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. See online for full terms and conditions.

TNT_1489_travel.indd 93

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europe

ROPE U E H UG THRO L E V A CH TR A O C IBLE FLEX

DO IT YOUR WAY SIMPLE A TRAVEL PASS * THAT LETS YOU EXPLORE

PASSES START FROM

9 COUNTRIES AND 33 DESTINATIONS IN EUROPE FREEDOM & FLEXIBILITY * YOU DECIDE WHERE YOU GO, HOW LONG YOU STAY FOR AND YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR PLANS AS OFTEN AS YOU LIKE EXCLUSIVELY FOR * BACKPACKERS AND

DOOR-TO-DOOR PICK-UPS * AND DROP-OFFS AT THE BEST HOSTELS AWESOME GUIDES ON THE * COACH, FULL OF LOCAL KNOWLEDGE, TIPS AND ADVICE

INDEPENDENT TRAVELLERS SO YOU TRAVEL WITH LIKEMINDED PEOPLE

‘EVERY OTHER DAY’ * SERVICE TO AND FROM EVERY DESTINATION ON OUR NETWORK

£335

IDEAL FOR THE BUDGET TRAVELLER YOU DECIDE HOW TO SPEND YOUR CASH PLANNING YOUR TRIP IS EASY WITH OUR ONLINE TOOLS

Issued to all Busabout Hop-on Hop-off passengers plus Italy, Spain and all Eastern Europe Treks FIND OUT MORE NEWS & VIEWS

/BUSABOUTeurope WATCH OUR VLOGGERS

www.youtube.com/BusaboutTV

@busabout

RUNNING OF THE BULLS, PAMPLONA SPAIN

4 DAYS - £299 6 APRIL Easter is a time of feasts, fun and plenty of partying so make the most of your long weekend and head over to Paris. A rocking Easter party awaits you in arguably one of the world’s most beautiful cities and there’s no better time to be there than spring

5 DAY FROM £219 CAMPING ONLY

5 & 4 DAY FROM £269 HOSTEL

6 DAY FROM £299

INCLUSIONS: Your fantastic Busabout Guide / Return

DEPARTING LONDON CAMPING

Coach and ferry from London / 3 nights accommodation and breakfasts, 2 dinners. Plus over £40 worth of excursions INCLUDING Bike tour and river cruise / trip to Palace of Versailles with picnic lunch / climb up to the top of the Eiffel Tower / Paris night tour by coach

ALL TRIPS INCLUDE: All accommodation / breakfasts / Pamps t-shirt / panuelo / coach shuttles to and from all the bull runs and the services of the Busabout Festival Team

GROUPS OF 4 - SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 - SAVE 10%

08450 267 514 TNT_1489_travel.indd 94

www.busabout.com

SAVE 10% WHEN YOU BUY TWO OR MORE QUALIFYING TRIPS

info@busabout.com 8/3/12 17:11:00

TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS TRAVEL

ks re T e p o r u E n er st a E & s re tu Adven ANZAC DAY E DEPARTUR

Classic Balkan

Greek Island Hopper

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9 WEEKS - 5 MONTHS (May-Sep) 4 ISLAND FLEXI-HOPPER

FROM £539 STUDENTS FROM £519

FROM £255 STUDENTS FROM £245

Turkey, Greece, Albania, Montenegro & Croatia INCLUSIONS: 8 nights accommodation and breakfasts, 2 dinners, Gallipoli tour, orientation walks of Thessaloniki, Tirana and Budva

Mykonos, Paros, Santorini & Ios INCLUSIONS: All ferries, guided orientations of each island and nights out on every island

ANZAC DEPARTURE 24 APRIL

Italian Adventure 3 DAYS (May-Sep)

FROM £189 STUDENTS FROM £179

Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri & Amalﬁ INCLUSIONS: 2 nights accommodation, entry to Pompeii and tour with local guide, orientation tour of Sorrento, boat trip to and around Capri, Limoncello and chocolate tasting

ANZAC DAY E DEPARTUR

Ibiza Island Hopper

Ottoman Trek ANZAC DEPARTURE 17 APRIL

7 DAYS (Apr-Sep)

FROM £479 STUDENTS FROM £459

Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia, Bulgaria & Turkey INCLUSIONS: 6 nights accommodation and breakfast, Belgrade walking tour, Mostar local guide, Sarajevo walking tour with tunnel entrance, Istanbul orientation walk

There are two ways to go: 1.Retox then Detox (Ibiza - Mallorca - Menorca) 2.Detox then Retox (Menorca - Mallorca - Ibiza) 8 DAYS (Jun-Sep)

FROM £539 STUDENTS FROM £519

7 nights accommodation and breakfasts, All ferry tickets and transfers, guided orientations of local attractions on each island, organised nights out in every island, discount Ibiza club tickets

INCLUSIONS:

Scandi-Baltic Adventure There are two ways to go: 1.Vilnius to Tallin 2.Tallin to Vilnius 8 DAYS (Jun-Aug)

FROM £499 STUDENTS FROM £479

Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Sweden & Finland INCLUSIONS: 7 nights accommodation and breakfasts, 2 Baltic Sea cruise nights, all orientation walks, Riga club entrance

POST

ANZAC DAY E DEPARTUR

Sail Turkey POST ANZAC DEPARTURE 28 APRIL

7 DAYS (Apr-Sep)

Iberian Adventure 7 DAYS (Jun-Sep)

FROM £295

FROM £469 STUDENTS FROM £449

Fethiye, Kekova’s Sunken City, Oulodeniz, Blue Lagoon, Kas & Kalkan INCLUSIONS: 7 nights accommodation, breakfasts, lunches and dinners, afternoon tea and coffee, snorkels/ masks/ﬂippers and ﬁshing lines, board games, on board sound system

Cordoba, Seville, Lagos, Tarifa, Ronda, Granada, Consuegra & Toledo INCLUSIONS: 6 nights accommodation, orientation walks in each town, guided tour with a local through the remarkable city of Seville

Classic Rhapsody 9 DAYS (May-Sep)

FROM £565 STUDENTS FROM £545

Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary & Croatia INCLUSIONS: 8 nights accommodation and breakfasts, walking tour of Olomouc, Auschwitz and Birkenau guided tours, bike tour of Krakow, orientation walks of Zakopane and Split, entrance to the Plitvice National Park

More Adventures Available Online

PLUS More of Europe’s top festivals

7 & 10 DAY EGYPT FROM £379 8 & 15 DAY MOROCCO FROM £574

TOMATINA, PAMPLONA, OKTOBERFEST, CHRISTMAS IN PARIS & NEW YEAR IN AMSTERDAM

GROUPS OF 4 - SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 - SAVE 10%

08450 267 514 TNT_1489_travel.indd 95

www.busabout.com

SAVE 10% WHEN YOU BUY TWO OR MORE QUALIFYING TRIPS TNTMAGAZINE.COM info@busabout.com

8/3/12 17:11:04

TRAVEL

Travelling to Europe on a Walkabout? Cover valid throughout EU and other countries* Cover available for Campers including Vans Cover for periods ranging from 15 days to 1 year No permanent address needed, documents can be emailed Overseas driving licence acceptable *for more detailed information visit

hertsinsurance.com/walkabout 2U FDOO +,& WR GLVFXVV ﾃ？[LEOH FDU LQVXUDQFH for up to 12 months

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HIGHLAND FLING 5 DAYS Normally £189 - Now £149 £40

SKYE HIGH 3 DAYS Normally £115 - Now £85 £30

Loch Ness, Isle of Skye & North West Highlands

Isle of Skye, Loch Ness & Glencoe

(Students Normally £179 - Now £139)

OFF*

(Students Normally £109 - Now £79)

TRAVEL

£40* SAVE UP TO www.HAGGiSadventures.com/spring OFF*

* Mar & Apr departures only. Not valid on Easter departures 6-9 April. Book by 25 March. Enter promocode ‘spring’

ALSO AVAILABLE: 10, 7 & 5 day trips of Scotland, Wales & Cornwall (Mar - Oct) plu ENG s L & WA AND LES

DOING IT ONCE?

HIGHLAND EASTER 5 DAYS £279

DO IT RIGHT

DEPARTS LONDON 5 APRIL EDINBURGH, LOCH NESS & ISLE OF SKYE

Return coach from London, 2 nights hostel accommodation in Edinburgh, orientation walk of Edinburgh & 2 nights hostel accommodation in the Highlands INCLUDES:

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3 DAYS £115 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 6 & 7 APRIL LOCH NESS, ISLE OF SKYE & GLENCOE

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3 DAYS £179

Haggis Day Adventures

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, KILLARNEY, INIS MOR/CONNEMARA

GALWAY, INIS MOR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY, DERRY & BELFAST Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

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CELTIC ROCKER 5 DAYS

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle, Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

GIANT’S ROCKER 5 DAYS (May-Sep) £215 (Students £205)

DISCOUNTS

SOUTHERN ROCKER 3 DAYS

£40 OFF

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

Normally £125 - Now £95 (Students Normally £119 - Now £89)

£30 OFF

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY & DINGLE

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

* Mar & Apr departures only. Not valid on Easter departures 6-9 April. Book by 25 March. Enter promocode ‘spring’

WHY GO SHAMROCKER?

AWARD

FREE STUFF WORTH UP TO

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TNT_1489_travel.indd 97

WWW.SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM/SPRING

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY, INIS MOR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY & BELFAST

Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher

STUDENT

SAVE UP TO £40 Normally £215 - Now £175 (Students Normally £205 - Now £165)

INIS MOR, CLIFFS OF MOHER & GALWAY

GUARANTEED DEPARTURES

STA TRAVEL & FLIGHT CENTRE GLOBALLY

Two nights twin share hostel accommodation, full cooked Welsh breakfast & FREE entry to the Big Pit coal mine INCLUDES:

WESTERN ROCKER 3 DAYS (May-Sep) £125 (Students £119)

LONELY PLANET GUIDEBOOK

2011

DEPARTS LONDON 7 APRIL CARDIFF & BRECON BEACONS

ALL IRELAND ROCKER 7 DAYS(Apr-Oct) £315 (Students £299)

FREE

8/3/12 17:11:08

TRAVEL

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS EASTER BREAKS (FRI 6 - MON 9 APRIL) ISLE OF WIGHT from £229 Return travel by coach/ferry, 3 nights B&B accom, sightseeing tour and tour manager.

EDINBURGH BY RAIL

from

£259

Return train travel, sightseeing with local guide, 3 nights B&B accom and tour manager.

HOLLAND & BELGIUM

from

£259

Return coach and ferry, 3 nights B&B, sightseeing, half day in Brugge, tour manager plus buffet dinner AND FREE BAR!

PARIS BY EUROSTAR

from

£269

Return travel by Eurostar, 3 nights B&B accom, sightseeing tour and tour manager.

NETHERLANDS, GERMANY & BELGIUM from £249 Return coach and ferry travel, 3 nights B&B, tour manager, visits to Amsterdam, Cologne and Brugge!

OVERNIGHT WEEKEND TOURS ISLE OF WIGHT OVERNIGHT Needles, Sandown, Sightseeing Sat 17 - Sun 18 Mar

£109pp

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£109pp

DAY TRIPS £46

¸ Sat 17 Mar A Day in Wales from ¸ Sun 18 Mar Windsor & Hampton Court from

£36

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £50 with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included! Oxford and Stratford TUES, THURS, SAT & SUN From £45

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Anderson Tours is fully bonded by Client Trust Account

Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

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at Knebworth 23rd June 2012! CONCERT TICKET AND RETURN COACH TRAVEL LONDON KNEBWORTH ONLY £92

BOOK ON ANDERSONTOURS.CO.UK OR CALL 0207 436 9304

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

The Easy Rider 32 Days / 12 Countries / Camping France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Austria, Germany, Switzerland, Netherlands + more

24th April 2012

Now £1,715 Save £344 contiki.com/easyrider Promo Code: PPCLMD1180

Greek Island Adventurer 9 Days / 3 Islands / Concept Athens, Mykonos, Paros, Santorini + more

12th May 2012

Spanish Spree

Now £631 Save £158

14 Days / Time Out Hotel

European Encounter

contiki.com/greek-adventurer Promo Code: PPCLMD1184

16 Days / 10 Countries / Hotels

Includes: Barcelona, Ibiza, Granada, Seville, Madrid, Bilbao, Pamplona + more

SAVE

Only Contiki includes: F -! **7 %3'"#" 2-30 -$ 2&# . ,'1& -7 * * !#@ F *'%&21 2- '8 !*3 1 9 # !&#1@ F -! **7 %3'"#" 2-30 -$ 0 , " `1 *& + 0 * !#@ F . 1 "#*'%&21 ', $ +-31 0!#*-, 0#12 30 ,2@

UP TO

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AVAILABLE FOR 1 WEEK ONLY 0-+- -"#B lk

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13th April 2012

Now £1,391 Save £348 contiki.com/encounter Promo Code: PPCLMD1175

CHECK OUT contiki.com/festivals PAMPLONA RUNNING OF THE BULLS

EASTER IN AMSTERDAM

4 to 7 Day options, 3rd – 16th July From £199

LAST SEATS REMAINING

contiki.com/pamplona

4 Days, 6th April Only £235 contiki.com/easter

ANZAC DAY

BILBAO BBK LIVE

20% OFF!! 22nd – 26th April 4 Days NOW £236 5 Days NOW £276

5 Days, 11th – 15th July Only £399 Includes 4 nights hotel accommodation, 3 day pass plus loads more! Headliners: The Cure, Radiohead, Snow Patrol + more

Promo Code: PPTNTANZAC20 contiki.com/anzac

contiki.com/bilbao

contiki.com | 0845 026 8900 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

ay On e-Wers! Pio n e

Take a traditional Croatian cruiser with its local crew, the warm, crystal clear waters of the Adriatic, a bunch of travellers seeking fun and adventure and add a Busabout Guide. The result? Only one of the best weeks of your life... GET TO CROATIA FROM AS LITTLE AS £55 ONE WAY. VISIT WWW.BUSABOUT.COM/CROATIA-SAILING FOR MORE INFORMATION.

Croatia Island Hopper 8 DAYS FROM £384 Departs Split (May – September)

Highlights s Enjoy a free shot at Hvar – exclusive to Busabout

s BBQs in secluded bays s Enjoy fantastic views while

Croatia One-Way Sail 8 DAYS FROM £394 Departs Split or Dubrovnik (May – September)

sipping cocktails at the top of a 14th century tower in Korcula – best seats reserved for Busabout Exclusive after dark parties in Dubrovnik

INCLUSIONS: 7 nights accommodation , breakfasts and lunches, fuel supplement, island orientation walks,

orientations of Split and Dubrovnik, English speaking Busabout Guide and expert local crew. SAVE 10% WHEN YOU BUY TWO OR MORE QUALIFYING TRIPS

GROUPS OF 4 - SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 - SAVE 10%

08450 267 514

www.busabout.com

info@busabout.com

weekend! St Pa trick’s day - this PATS TOUR TO DUBLIN

CALL NOW FOR LAST MINUTE BEDS FOR OUR HUGE ST ✔ Accom only packages Beds from £189. ✔ Coach tour - call for cancellation seatsours

ANZAC DAY 2012

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PAMPLONA 2012 THE BEST RUNNING OF THE BULLS TOURS

S FOR 21 YEAR

✔ Pamplona’s BEST camp – Estella ✔ Music, dancing, sangria, top facilities at our party camp ✔ Choice of dorms or camping ✔ Shuttles, breakfasts, t-shirts, exclusive parties & excursions ✔ 5, 6 or 7 day tours from just £249 ✔ Accom packages from only £129 ✔ Flying and transfer options

21 YEAR’S OF GREAT PARTY TOURS!!

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25 APRIL

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AMSTERDAM

EASTER AND MAY BANK HOLIDAYS EASTER SPECIAL (5-9 April) £199 MAY BANK HOLIDAY (4-7 May) £169 QUEEN’S DIAMOND JUBILEE EXTRA LONG WEEKEND (1-5 June) £199 GREAT VALUE LONG WEEKEND TOURS - TOP ACCOM & BREAKFAST

• Grand National, Aintree. 14 April • Royal Ascot (inc, Ladies Day). June 21-23 • La Tomatina. 9 August • Oktoberfest. 22 Sept – 7 Oct

pptravel.com info@pptravel.com 020 7930 9999

100 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

CROATIA SAILING CATEGORY A & A+ BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! ■ 7 NIGHTS JUN-SEP fr£399

ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS

WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Trstenik ✔ Korcula ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac ■ CAT A: JUN £489 JUL £449 AUG £449 ■ CAT A+: JUN £399 JUL fr£469 AUG fr£449 SEP £429

FOOTBALL SOCCEROOS & ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE ■ Fulham FC v Swansea City SAT 17 MAR £38 ■ Fulham FC v Man Utd MON 26 MAR ✔ 1 Ngt Hostel £149 ■ Fulham FC v Liverpool SAT 14 APR Coach Day Trip £99 ■ Socceroos v Denmark: Copenhagen SAT 2 JUN £35

ROYAL ASCOT DON’T MISS BLACK CAVIAR’S EUROPEAN DEBUT! ■ Golden Jubilee Day SAT 23 JUN £59 ✔ Coach Day Trip ✔ Silver Ring Ticket

ITALY TOURS CHECK OUT THE BEST ITALY HAS TO OFFER! ■ 7 Days JUN-AUG £299 ✔ Rome ✔ Florence ✔ Cinque Terre ✔ Pisa ✔ Venice ✔ Milan

GALLIPOLI TOURS ■ 3 Day Tour 24-26 APR £199 ■ 4 Day Tour 23-26 APR £239 ■ 5 Day Tour 22-26 APR £289 ■ 8/9 Day Tours 18-26 APR or ■ 15/16 Day Tours 11-26 APR or

WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian Battlefields + Anzac Day Services ■ Eurostar Tour 23-25 APR ■ Make your own way 23-25 APR

ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL ■ Hostel Package 14-17 AUG £149 ■ Extended packages also available fr£529

LA TOMATINA THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT! 27-30 AUG £149 ■ 4 Days Beach Camping ■ 4 Days Hostel/3 Days Hotel 27/28-30 AUG £189/£169 ■ Ibiza, Barcelona & Italy Combo tours also available!

£299 £259

PAMPLONA THE INCREDIBLE RUNNING OF THE BULLS! ■ 4 Days Pamps/San Seb Camping 4-15 JUL ■ Italy-Barcelona-Pamps 26 JUN-8 JUL ■ Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL ■ Pamplona + Ibiza Combo 5-11 JUL ■ San Sebastian + Pamps 3-8 or 5-10 JUL ■ Coach Tours Depart 3 or 4 JUL fr£279 ■ 4 Day San Sebastian Hostel 5-8 JUL £269 ■ 4 Day Pamplona Hotel 5-8 JUL £329

GREEK

ISLANDS

PALIO SIENA

22-29 APR £399 22 APR-6 MAY fr£589

£159 £749 £349 £399 £239

GREEK ISLANDS

GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 Days £399 ■ 11 Days £489 Tours start in Athens every Sat JUL-AUG ✔ Mykonos ✔ Ios ✔ Santorini ✔ Paros ✔ Athens ✔ High speed ferries ✔ Breakfasts ✔ Fanatics Tour Rep ✔ Parties

OKTOBERFEST BEERFEST IN MUNICH! 21 SEP-8 OCT ■ 4 Days Camp/Hostel/Hotel Fri-Mon fr£139/£199/£349 ■ 6 Days Coach Tours Thu-Tue £219 ■ Prague + Buda Fest 8 Days £329

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM 101

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TRAVEL

Africa With Grace Create your own Adventure Safari OR

nd ya a Ken ame ia G n a z Tan ris Safa 0US $290

Kenya Game Safaris $2100US

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Tours

Hostels Adventures

THE genuine 3 day tour of Skye!* Departs Edinburgh Mondays and Fridays

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2 DAYS £59 Get in all the sights and a spot of monster hunting on Loch Ness!

Departs Edinburgh Saturday 7th April

Explore the palatial grandeur of Castle Rock Hostel, Edinburgh’s most amazingly located hostel!

(0131) 225 9666 www.castlerockedinburgh.com

Voted HostelWorld's Number 1 Hostel in Scotland 2008, 2009 and 2010! We were also named in the Top 10 Best Hostels in the World for 2010!

for details of our great hostels visit scotlandstophostels.com

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* MacBackpackers runs the only genuine 3 day tour of the Isle of Skye for backpackers. Unlike other backpacker companies we actually stay overnight on the island - spending up to 36 hours there, compared to as little as 6 hours with other operators.

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SHIPPING â&#x20AC;¢ BAGGAGE FORWARDING OVERSEAS REMOVALS â&#x20AC;¢ STORAGE >OL[OLY `V\ HYL OLHKPUN IHJR OVTL MVY NVVK VY WSHUUPUN [OH[ SVUN [YLR HYV\UK ,\YVWL KVUÂ»[ IL JH\NO[ V\[ ^P[O `V\Y L_JLZZ IHNNHNL VY V]LYZLHZ TV]L ,_JLZZ )HNNHNL *VTWHU` VMMLY H ^PKL YHUNL VM ZOPWWPUN HUK YLTV]HS ZLY]PJLZ [V THRL `V\Y [YH]LSSPUN L_WLYPLUJL OHZZSL MYLL

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DESPERATELYSEEKING

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* at the knees. Get in touch here if I’m not jeopordising a relationship. Lusty Lisa. To the tourists in Action Town: We’ve got so much free beer, you could use it as lubricant. From the tour boys. To Kirsty at Bar Graphic in Soho on Saturday, March 3: We got chatting at the bar and I was intrigued to find out you are a mortician. You promised me a crack at the whip (again)

went to the trouble to cook dinner, which you had to eat by yourself in the end, and watch me throw up when I finally crashed through the door. You have been incredibly cool about this and not even complained. But still, I would like to say sorry, and acknowledge that I am a buffoon. Mortified LC. Has anyone seen my lost jumper?: I lost a hoodie at the Elk Bar on Saturday night after the TNT Travel Show that is very important

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

#470 Get her engine revved as a promo girl at the F1 Melbourne Grand Prix.

if I wrote in TNT. You may not remember, because you looked dead tired. But anyway, I asked you at the time if you fancied a stiff one. I meant the drink but settled for the shag. How am I doing? Regi Mortis. Tuesday morning, March 6 outside Liverpool Street Station: I was wet all over looking at the 6ft 6in dark, handsome man – and it wasn’t just the rain. Sheila. DC: I am so sorry for standing you up on Saturday after the TNT Travel Show. I know I had promised a rare evening in together, and I know you

to me. It might look like a crappy little thing, but it has an original design printed on the back, which a good friend of mine created and then made the jacket especially for me. The back of the hoodie says ‘Crown Heights: Brooklyn’. If you find it, please, please let me know! The anti-Sambuca campaigner. Hot stuff all over: OMG! I went to the Travel Show on the weekend! SO amazing! So many good deals and eye candy! The budgie smuggler contest was the best! I have saved one particular photo as the wallpaper on my phone! LOL!

We should all catch up at She Bu Walkabout, guys! SMT. Read up ya fool: T-Stu, I can’t believe you think stigmata is a real phenomenon. You have shocked us all. Go and wash yourself with holy water, you gullible fool. J-man. Dial-a-dater : Thanks for returning my phone, pretty girl. I’m not quite sure how it ended up in your handbag, and neither are you, so that one’s baffled both of us! I’d love to buy you a drink to thank you. Maybe the same bar? I can do the chatting up all over again – this time with my phone firmly in hand! What do you say? Robbie. Mount my love boat, Reeve: Love that at the TNT Travel Show I got to clap my eyes on the supersexy Simon Reeve. Hubba hubba! If you ever fancy an alternative adventure you can navigate my equator anytime! Mark Twain. Just desserts: G-Dawg, you’re a massive disgrace, eating everyone’s food while they’re out. One of the items left ‘for you’ this week had a healthy dose of ground-up toenail clippings and more than a few drops of urine. Bon apetit. The Loftus crew. Northern line Tube, Tuesday rush hour: It was March 6. You got on at London Bridge and alighted at Bank. The Tube was packed and I was stood so close to you. Then dandruff rained from your head onto my jacket sleeve. You can buy shit for that. Sing-song girl: On the 275 bus travelling through Clapham on Thursday, March 8. Gorgeous voice. Thanks for the out loud melodies.

*Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ bill payers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

Photos: Getty

Damo, the masher-pasher at O’Neills in Earl’s Court: Dude, you tore my lips to shreds on Saturday night. I was too drunk to realise what a vigorous snog you were. But I bloody felt it the next morning – cracked skin and sores all over. My flatmates have nicknamed you Lawnmower Mouth. Munch munch. Kasey. Going to have a celebration: Happy birthday Lucy, you fiesty little firecracker. I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it to your 30th bash – I heard it was a stomper. I hope a shout-out in TNT can go some way towards making it up to you – that and a cocktails at Dirty Martini, my shout. Love from your pal, Clare. xx Lost property to claim: To the girls from Adelaide who I gallantly invited back to my house after a big night at the Swan in Stockwell on Friday, March 2. One of you left a pair of contact lenses in my bathroom. The other, your knickers on my bed. Was this a set-up? Gallant Mikey. Hey there, Georgie Boy: I saw you at that bar in Brixton, coming out of the toilets. There was something on your chin, nectar on your chest, glug in your hair and jizz on your vest. You should be more careful, dirty bastard. Glen. To Farnz who was up on stage at the budgie smuggler competition at the TNT Travel Show: I didn’t quite get your name – Farnz, or Fonz, or something – but I did cast a whole lotta eye over your sizzling, schmozzling hot pectoral muscles. Are you single? You make me weak

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