TNT Magazine / Issue 1504 by TNT Magazine

June 25-July 1 2012 Issue 1504 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

TICKETS TO THE BEACONS FES TIVAL IN YORKSHIR E

FLAGS AT THE READY How to get lucky during the Olympics

GANGSTERS & DEBAUCHERY We reveal London’s best walking tours

KEEP CALM IN KERALA Finding peace in an Indian paradise

! E G R A L T I G HAVIN

ided Ibiza s o w t in – t hilling ou c d n a – g in o party Your guide t + 48 HOURS IN BRUGES TOP 5 FOOD FIGHTS LATE DEALS EXTREME ADVENTURE IN WALES

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/wild/tnt www.topdeck.travel

call of

the wild!

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CALL 0845 257 5210 *Africa Promotion: Valid for new bookings only made 01/06/2012 to 30/06/2012 for travel between 15/10/2012 and 30/06/2013. Topdeck reserves the right to withdraw this offer at any time. For full terms and conditions of travelling with Topdeck please see our website at www.topdeck.travel/wild20.

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Even if you’ve lived in London for years, there’s always new things to discover – corners of the capital you never knew existed, and stories you’ve never heard. With this mind, we’ve put together the best walking tours in the city – see P8. Been wondering how you’re going to get lucky in London with all those crowds throughout the Olympics? See P26 for our guide on how to pull during the Games – and earn flags. Let us know how you get on!

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

12 14-15

@TNT

LONDON SOUND

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22+25

SPOTTED

COMPETITIONS

LONDON FOCUS

CHATROOM RALPH GRAYDEN 31 LONDON SCENE

Photos: Caroline Eden; Thinkstock; presliventure.co.uk

SPARE TIME

32-33

LIFESTYLE

35-43

SHOPPING

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

CAREERS

38-39

LIVING

42-43

NEWS & SPORT

44-57

TRAVEL

59-84

FEATURES BEAT THE FEET

You see so much more on foot. We reveal the best walking tours London has to offer

WOULD YOU FLAG IT?

Gain flags as you shag your way around the world. It’s harder than you think …

DIARY

PARTIES WITH POUNDS

NEWS

LATE DEALS

From sex toys and chocolate to organics and kitchenware, have fun and make cash

HOTSHOTS

TOP FIVE

68-69

TIPS & STUFF

COMPETITIONS

STUFF

48 HOURS IN ... BRUGES 78-79 CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

86-113 114

COAST WITH MOST

Take a leap of faith coasteering in seas off Pembrokeshire, Wales

DISCOVER IBIZA

Our resident expert reveals another side to the hedonistic party island

GOD’S OWN COUNTRY

Kerala, India: a peaceful paradise of winding backwaters and tea plantations

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Oliver Jones Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

@tntmagazine

‘Here’s one I made earlier’

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair | Marie Smith Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com

Shhh... SECRET LONDON FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL SOHO THEATRE

Celebrate the disregarded magic that was the VHS through tapes that have been collected from thrift stores and garage sales. The results are, predictably, obscure, diverse and hilarious. Co-presenters Joe Pickett, from The Onion, and Mick Prueher, from the US’s Late Show With David Letterman, take the audience on a tour through a number of unearthed videocassettes, including bizarre corporate training flicks and unloved home movies. The past makes for fertile ground. £15

WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004

June 29, 7.30pm & 9.30pm. June 30, 9.30pm 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE Oxford Circus

sohotheatre.com

SOUTH AFRICA REVISTED

TWISTED FAIRYTALES

DIAMONDS: A CELEBRATION

Two South African music docos make up this double header: Searching For Sugarman explores the myth of singer Sixto Rodriguez, a SA legend; and Under African Skies recalls Paul Simon’s journey to Africa for the writing and recording of his seminal Graceland LP. There’s also a braai in the interval – now that’s lekke.

To celebrate Summer Solstice, get down to The Nightjar, Shoreditch, as Babicka wormwood vodka hosts an evening of fairytales. Three storytellers will be unveiling seriously adult takes on Rapunzel, Red Riding Hood and Cinderella – and there’ll be feisty cocktails conjured by head bartender Marian Beke.

In a year promising to be the most British in living memory, Buckingham Palace opens its doors to the public for a limited time only. Tours take you behind the scenes, including the Grand Hall and a 450m walk of the gardens, and this special exhibition gives you a peek at some of Her Majesty’s finest jewels.

Mon, June 25. 7.30pm The Nightjar, EC1V 1JB Old Street facebook.com/babickavodka

June 30-July 8 & July 31-Oct 7 (9.45am-6.30pm) SW1A 1AA Victoria royalcollection.org.uk

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

£9.50+

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

00 4

Sun, July 1. 5pm Tricycle Cinema, NW6 7JR Brondesbury dochouse.org

FREE

£18

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Bird’s-eye view: The O2

UP AT THE O2 Soho Theatre

This new London attraction takes you on a 90-minute journey to the very top of the O2 dome in Greenwich. You’ll get dressed up in a jumpsuit, and then, in parties of 30, ascend a 190m long tensile fabric walkway on the roof of the O2 to a viewing platform located 53m above ground level. From there you’ve got 360 degree panoramic views of the City, in all its resplendent, Olympic-welcoming glory. It’s such an ace idea you wonder why no one has done it before. £22

June-Sept, 10am-10pm. October-May, 10am-5pm SE10 0DX North Greenwich upattheo2.co.uk

PLEASANCE AHOY

INDIAN FILM FEST

The first of 10 popup comedy gigs the length of the country kicks off this afternoon at The Canal Cafe. It’s all part of the Comedy Canal Boat journey, featuring a narrow craft making its way from London to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. There’ll be interviews, podcasts, and more to download. Ahoy maties.

”New Indian cinema is exciting adventurous and volatile, just like the country itself,” says director Ketan Mehta. The current shift in Indian filmmaking, away from Bollywood glamour towards a grittier realism, is evident in this closing week’s festival programme, which includes London-set crime drama Tooting Broadway.

Photos: Matt Chisnall

FREE

Thurs, June 28. Boat launches 1pm & gig 7.30pm W2 6ND Old Street pleasanceahoy.com

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VARIOUS

Until July 3 Various londonindianfilmfestival.co.uk/

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LONDONNEWS

@tntmagazine

Flying high: trip will take five minutes

UNION THREAT OF MORE BUS STRIKES Union officials are warning of more strikes in the run-up to the Olympics as thousands of bus drivers downed tools on Friday and Saturday. Unite wants 20,000 staff to receive a £500 bonus for the extra workload during the Games. Some 76 per cent of London’s 8000 buses were kept off the road for 24 hours, causing overcrowding on the Tube. Peter Kavanagh, Unite London region secretary and lead negotiator, said: “If necessary, our members are absolutely determined, there will unfortunately be more strikes.””

I’m happy to be called plain old Sarah or anything really Sarah Hayward, leader of Camden Council, after staff were told by a junior assistant to address her in letters as “Dear Leader”

BID TO BOOST POSTOLYMPICS TOURISM Lennox Lewis, Colin Montgomerie and Boris Becker have become the latest recruits to help boost London’s tourist trade after the Olympics. VisitBritain has put together videos of the sports stars amid fears tourism will face a massive slump as potential visitors are put off exploring London during the Games. Becker said: “I have been called Britain’s favourite German ... I don’t think the list is very long!” See visitbritain.com

ON THE TUBE

Cable car ready for lift-off

Multi-million-pound project travels from ExCel centre to 02 Arena The UK’s first urban cable car system will open in London next week. From June 28, travellers will be able to use it to cross the Thames in a multimillion-pound project sponsored by Dubai-based airline Emirates. The crossing will be between the ExCel exhibition centre and the 02 Arena at Greenwich, ferrying Olympic spectators 1.1km. It can carry up to 2500 people per hour in each direction and will operate on a daily basis. Known as the Emirates Air Line, the facility will cost £3.20 for a single fare for those using Oyster cards, while adults paying by cash will have to fork out £4.30. There will also be a special £16 ‘frequent flyer’ pass for up to 10 journeys. London mayor Boris Johnson said: “On

June 28, this spectacular new addition to London’s skyline will provide a muchneeded new river crossing in the east of our great city. “It will open up access to jobs in the Royal Docks enterprise zone and attract businesses and investors to a previously under-exploited area.” Riders will be able to make a non-stop round trip on the cable car, with views of the City, Canary Wharf, the Thames Barrier and the Olympic Park. It was feared the network would be not be finished in time for the start of the Games on July 27, but an application for final approval has been made. There will be 34 gondolas carrying passengers between Greenwich Peninsula and the Royal Docks in just five minutes.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

High-velocity missiles

THIS WEEK’S WORKS

BAKERLOO: Trains will not stop at Marylebone station as it will be closed for improvement works all weekend.

JUBILEE: Suspended between London Bridge and Finchley Road due to planned engineering work on Sunday.

METROPOLITAN: No service between Wembley Park, Uxbridge and Northwood all weekend. Rail replacement buses will operate.

NORTHERN: No service between High

Photos: Getty

Barnet and Kennington via Charing Cross all weekend. Rail replacement buses will operate.

Campaigners in east London are set to protest over plans by the Ministry of Defence to deploy high-velocity missiles in residential areas during the 2012 Games. Members of Stop The Olympic Missiles will gather on Saturday calling for action over the plans, which could see the surface-to-air weapons placed on rooftops. “No Missiles In Our Community” campaigners claim the MoD has not consulted them about the move. Two of the potential six sites are Lexington Building in Tower Hamlets, and the Fred Wigg Tower in Waltham Forest. The other four are Blackheath Common and Oxleas Wood, in southeast London, William Girling Reservoir in Enfield and Barn Hill at Netherhouse Farm in Epping Forest.

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Danger: learn about Jack the Ripper’s methods

On the wild side Murders, hookers and slums. TNT goes on a Death And Debauchery Tour to discover London’s most salacious secrets WORDS KATIE GRANT “Welcome to the most perverted place on earth!” my guide, Hedley, bellows at my group as we stand opposite Covent Garden Tube. Heading towards Long Acre, he waves his hand in the direction of M&S, explaining that for several centuries this was where St Giles’ Rookery, one of Europe’s most notorious slums, was situated. Overflowing with humans, dogs and hogs all living together in a stinking cesspit of their waste, it was nicknamed ‘The Rats’ Castle’. For obvious reasons, disease and crime were rife, but such was the extent of its danger and depravity, even police and physicians feared to enter. I’m on the Death And Debauchery Tour, gaining a glimpse into haunted, terrifying and murderous London, while discovering ghosts, criminals, spooks and killers. London is filled with nooks and crannies, with secret streets and untold stories, that day-to-day life barely scratches the surface. To get a glimpse into the real past of the capital city needs someone in the know, and with the ever-looming Olympics, walking 8

tours springing up all over the capital. As we cross the Rookery’s elegant piazza, Hedley describes how this square used to be packed to the rafters with prostitutes for the local aristocrats to occupy themselves with. Until, that is, “Oliver Cromwell came along and ruined everybody’s fun, shutting down all the brothels, gambling dens and drinking taverns in sight”, Hedley adds, shaking his head ruefully. Thankfully, the ever-resourceful ladies of the night found a way to keep their businesses afloat during these tough times: to advertise that she was open to receiving gentlemen callers, a hooker would drape a red stocking outside her window. By night, the oil lamps outside would illuminate it, thus the phrase “red-light district” was born. This tour isn’t for the squemish, and also takes in tales of Sweeny Todd; grizzly barbershop surgeons; the most haunted theatre in London; and the dames who had mice living in their hair. For those who like their crime a bit more recent, there’s the two-hour Gangster London Tour.

Onscreen hardman Stephen Marcus, Nick The Greek in Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, leads this walk around real and fictitious film locations associated with London’s underbelly. Learn about the shady lifestyles and tactics of some of the most feared gangsters in 1950s and 1960s London including the infamous Kray twins, and enjoy a Q&A session with Marcus at the end of the tour over a pint. “I think people have a fascination with gangsters because they have a slight desire to live outside the law or just be a bit rebellious,” Marcus says. “Personally I get a weird adrenaline rush from the danger of meeting a person who I know has killed or could kill, also there is a strange infamy by association the same as fame by association with an actor or singer.” MORE LONDON WALKING TOURS ›› Death And Debauchery. Sat 5pm, Tues 6.30pm. £20 Opp Covent Garden Tube insider-london.co.uk Gangster London. Sat 1pm (until Aug 25). £15 Blind Beggar, E1 1BU Whitechapel britmovietours.com

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Steven Marcus as Nick The Greek

2for1

Buy one pint and get the next pint free!!!! Just bring this ad with you to claim the offer.* terms and conditions apply

www.n1bar.com 1 Duke Street Hill, SE1 2SW | Info@n1bar.com | 02074076420 *Valid from 25th of June to 4th of July 2012. This offer can not be used in conjunction with any other offer. It can be used by one person only and is valid for one purchase only. This voucher is non-refundable, non-transferable and is not for re-sale. Please present this voucher when ordering. Cheapest item will be discounted.

EURO FINAL ON 4 BIG SCREENS Buckets Of Beers £10 - Pig on a Spit by the picturesque Grand Union Canal

The St Giles Rookery

Owned by Australians Run By Australians Best Party in London Open till Late (2am)

Friendly Staff Great Atmosphere - 4 Bars Great Food (aussie favorites) Cocktails (student & ladies nights) Live DJ’s Live Bands Canal Side Pool Tables

gjapub.co.uk

Learn about the city’s street art (P10)

Acton Lane, Canal Bridge NW10 7AD Park Royal London Tube: Harlesden or North Acton Station Bus: 260, 487, 226, 187, 224 (all stop at front door)

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BACK IN THE DAY VARIOUS

SHOP LONDON VARIOUS

Wander some of the key locations that helped shape the cultural landscape with the Soho – Roots Of The Swinging Sixties Tour. From the birthplace of British rock ‘n’ roll, to the street that turned the fashion world on its head, this step-back-intime look at London revisits an unforgettable period. £10+

June 30, 3.30pm; July 4, 7pm; July 15, 6.15pm. Various backinthedaywalks.co.uk

STREET ART LONDON EAST LONDON Get up close to east London’s vibrant street art scene. Knowledgable guides will take you to see all the best pieces from more than 40 artists. The art is dynamic and ever-changing, as older pieces are reworked or simply buffed away by councils to become a blank canvas. The tours are constantly evolving to incorporate fresh and exciting work for you to enjoy before they’re gone for good. £12+

Tues 10am, Sat 11am, Sun 11am Outside Old Street tube, Exit 2

7 NOSES OF SOHO SOHO

Two guides lead you around London, one of whom will tell lies at each stop and the other true stories about the location. Points are given throughout if you can outsmart the fibber and a prize is awarded to the winner.

Legend has it that anybody who sniffs out all seven noses in Soho will attain infinite wealth. Find out about the myths surrounding them while learning about the history of the area and those who have frequented it.

Various Various londonstreettours.co.uk

Various Meet near Covent Garden Tube peterberthoud.co.uk

£8

This tour provides a fascinating glimpse into London’s past and present, transporting visitors through 150 years in just two hours, moving from London’s first Underground station to its most futuristic. Find out how the Victorians dug this network of tunnels by hand, spot the ghost station by the British Museum and, most importantly of all, discover the mysterious man behind the booming “Mind the Gap” voice.

MARKET EXPLORER VARIOUS

SHAKESPEARE WALK VARIOUS

This full-day tour is designed to give an insight into what’s on offer at London’s markets. Browse the stalls of up-and-coming artists in Spitalfields; search from crafts and alternative fashion in Camden; and watch street performers in Covent Garden.

Spend 90 minutes discovering the lesser-known monuments and locations associated with The Bard, his work, and his family and friends with a walk led by a professional actor. Highlights include visiting the exact locations of The Bard’s London homes.

Mon 2pm-4pm; Fri 11am-1pm Meet outside Farringdon Tube insider-london.co.uk

Various. Starts at 10am Meet near Covent Garden Tube londonurbanadventures.com

Various Outside Blackfriars Tube shakespeareguide.com

£20

£40

Mon-Sun 10.30am + 1.30pm Various urbangentry.com

streetartlondon.co.uk

LIARS TOUR VARIOUS £10

UNDERGROUND AND TUBE TOUR FARRINGDON

London is one of the greatest shopping destinations on the planet, but if the city’s size and scale leave you overwhelmed, fear not fashionistas! Urban Gentry has developed a walking tour to sate the thirst of even the most serious shopper, sharing industry insiders’ tips on the hottest neighbourhoods, boutiques and one-off shops London has to offer. There’s a selection of tours catering for the specific tastes, style and budget of every shopper, from East End chic to Mayfair luxury. The cost is split between five people, so £33 each. £165

£9

LONDON BICYCLE TOUR COMPANY SOUTHWARK London’s first bicycle tour company was established in 1992 and was so popular, it expanded to boast a bike hire company and repairs shop, too. The team are friendly, fun, relaxed and they know London inside out, making their tours, which take in the city’s greatest sights, fascinating and endlessly entertaining – as well as a great way to burn off a few extra calories. £19+

Daily 1a Gabriel’s Wharf, SE1 9PP Southwark londonbicycle.com

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ARCHITECTURE WALK VARIOUS

ROCK AND ROLL LONDON TOUR TOTTENHAM CRT RD This walk reads like a who’s who of the music hall of fame. Follow the careers of Hendrix, Bowie, The Sex Pistols and many more; pop into the pub where Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood first met and marvel at tales of rock ‘n’ roll decadence. Glimpse the world-famous Marquee Club; visit where The Beatles first played in London; and where the Rolling Stones recorded their first album.

London is chock-full of buildings, but how much do we actually know about the architecture that surrounds us? From Art Deco and Baroque tours, to Olympic and Skyscraper tours – as well as everything in between – London Architecture Walks highlight the wonders of the city and the stories behind them. £15

£9

Fri 2pm-4pm Meet at Tot Court Rd Tube londonrocktours.com

JACK THE RIPPER WALK TOWER HILL Led by Donald Rumblerow, who is internationally recognised as a leading authority on Ripper, this tour follows in the footsteps of London’s most notorious serial killer and you’ll shudder at his bloodcurdling crimes. Step back into the late 1800s, where the Ripper would hide in the midnight shadows, from where he would strike, murdering East End prostitutes. Not for the faint-hearted! £9

Daily 7.30pm-9.30pm Meet outside Tower Hill Tube

This latest offering from the folks at London Dungeon invites you on a stroll through the rat-infested streets and homes of Medieval London. Led by the resident “rat catcher”, you’ll learn about life in times gone by to the accompaniment of thousands of scuttling rodents who you may just come face to whisker with if you’re not careful. Nice. £15+

Daily 28-34 Tooley Street, SE1 2SZ London Bridge the-dungeons.co.uk

jacktheripperwalk.com

FILM LOCATION WALK TEMPLE

EXHIBIT-K TOURS VARIOUS

Check out the locations that have featured in such films as Bridget Jones’s Diary, The Da Vinci Code, Sherlock Holmes and Harry Potter on this cinematic journey around the heart of London and discover exclusive behind the scenes facts and trivia.

Admire the skill of London’s cultural creatives on a tour of the contemporary art scene, stopping at artists’ studios, galleries and project spaces. These bespoke tours are led by guides who are all professional, trained artists themselves.

Fri 2.30pm, Sat 10am, Sun 10am Meet outside Temple Tube britmovietours.com

Various Various exhibit-k.org

BLACK HISTORY WALK VARIOUS

UNSEEN TOURS VARIOUS

Find out about the African contribution to London’s history on a tour that celebrates black presence in the capital. From loyalists and revolutionaries to equality fighters, these walks shed light new light on London’s culture.

Discover London from the perspective of a homeless person. Choose from five guides who’ll offer top-class stories and facts in the areas they represent – and they are paid by Sock Mob Events, which organises the tours.

Book Club Tours organises tailormade literary tours around London and short trips further afield. Choose one from the selection of tours already on offer and alter it to suit your interests, or tell them where you’d like to go and what you want to discover, and they will create a bespoke tour to your requirements. Whether it’s a literary tour, a cultural walk or an historic look at the city, taking in World War I and II, there’s something for every interest.

Various Various blackhistorywalks.co.uk

Various Various sockmobevents.org.uk

Various Various bookclubtours.co.uk

£8

THE RAT WALK EXPERIENCE LONDON BRIDGE

Various Various londonarchitecturewalks.com

£7

VARIOUS

£5+

BOOK CLUB TOURS VARIOUS VARIOUS

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MYLONDON

A festival of music, dance, film, literature, fashion and free events

GREGORY MAQOMA

ADELINE VINING

Exit / Exist

FOUNDER, WEANIE BEANS COFFEE

One of South Africa’s leading choreographers presents his stunning new show with live South African singers

What baffles me about London is speed. Everyone works in different gears, mostly fifth, and is always in a hurry. I drive to work at 6.30am on a Sunday and always get overtaken by someone speeding.

17 July, Queen Elizabeth Hall

Oumou Sangaré & Béla Fleck

London’s best-kept secret is St Dunstan’s in the East Garden. It’s a derelict church that got bombed in the war and has never been rebuilt. They’ve since created a beautiful garden in its place, but all the old walls and windows are still there. It’s like a miniature paradise.

The star banjo player and legendary African singer perform with their band. 18 & 19 July, Queen Elizabeth Hall

When I want to chill out I go to London Fields. It’s around the corner from my house, and if the weather’s not great, there’s a few awesome cafés on Broadway Market that are nice places to sit and people watch.

Angelique Kidjo

The most interesting person I’ve met is my husband. We met at a gig in Kentish Town, and he’s introduced me to a London I never knew. I was always a west London girl, but since meeting him, I’ve gotten to know the city. He takes me for walks when it’s empty and tells me about its history.

Acclaimed by Time magazine as ‘Africa’s premier diva’, expect an evening of rock’n’roll, reggae, R’n’B, funk and more.

My favourite place for a drink is The George, in Dalston. It’s my local, and they sell Fentimans Curiosity Cola, Hendricks’ Gin and Baileys.

Baaba Maal & Friends

For when you’re hungover in London grab a breakfast burrito. It’s the ultimate hangover cure – sausage, scrambled egg, crispy bacon, sour cream, guacamole & cheese all rolled up in a wrap.

Yele Yela - A Night From The Wild West Of Africa A celebration of African music, dance and storytelling. Dress up in your ﬁnest clothes to come and join the party!

26 July, Queen Elizabeth Hall

What gets me up in the morning? Coffee. I do not function without it, and my working life revolves around it. I couldn’t be in a better job.

28 July, Royal Festival Hall /00

XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX /00

My perfect weekend? I work weekends, so Mondays are my weekends. I get up late, have a few coffees, read the Sunday paper I’ve saved!

TICKETS FROM £10 buy tickets: 0844 847 9910 Southbankcentre.co.uk/ africautopia

The last naughty thing I did was when serving coffee at a gig, and the venue was closed for soundcheck. I loved the band playing, but I knew I wouldn’t catch them later as I’d be too busy, so I snuck in and watched them. They played the entire set and it was only me and the sound engineers.

weaniebeans.com 12

Photos: Lee Gillies

Five words that sum up London ... There’s always something unexpected happening.

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LONDON O2 SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE WEDNESDAY 11TH JULY GLASGOW O2 ACADEMY SUNDAY 15TH JULY

MANCHESTER HMV RITZ MONDAY 16TH JULY

BUY AT TICKETMASTER.CO.UK A Live Nation presentation in association with CAA

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SEETICKETS.COM www.coldchisel.com

22/6/12 16:29:17

LONDONDRINKS

THE MANOR ARMS

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Lord of the manor

BAR THE SCENE The newly opened Arms is stylish, classy and welcoming, and a far cry from the dodgy boozer located here before. Attractively decked out with an unobtrusive wood-and-silver design, it’s homely, with books on the shelves, newspapers to peruse, and a flatscreen TV for footy. There’s a comfortable outdoor area, too, and this is where The Crab Shack sits: a summertime booth selling English Channel shellfish landed in Brixham, Kent. THE GRUB Courtesy of chef stars Matthew Pepperell and Richard Coltart, the food is where the Manor Arms excels. Famed for its Sunday lunches, first of all, the menu boasts quality and depth, too. The set lunch includes Norfolk ham hock and truffle risotto balls among the starters, with delightful free-range chicken and leek pie, and sumptuous chargrilled spatchcock chicken in the mains. BEHIND THE BAR Beers (bottles and draught), a sterling wine and spirit selection and cocktails, served in jam jars for added kook appeal. BILL PLEASE The set menu starts at two courses for £10; starters from £5.50; mains from £10; dessert from £5.50. Beers from £3.80; cocktails from £5; wines from £3.80 a glass, bottles from £15. VERDICT Proudly putting quality first – The Manor Arms is Streatham’s secret gem – although, not for much longer. ALASDAIR MORTON

13 Mitcham Lane, SW16 6LQ

themanorarms.com

Streatham

‘

3 OF THE BEST WIMBLEDON

BLUEBIRD

GILGAMESH

CHOPHOUSE

Giant tennis balls balance on the outdoor courtyard, which has been transformed into a tennis lawn with live matches on the giant TV. Expect plenty of Pimm’s at this Chelsea joint.

The Camden restaurant turns out for Wimbledon with an Astroturf floor and strawberry and cream wontons. The spirited staff wear running shoes while serving Murray Martinis.

Grab an afternoon tea picnic basket – stuffed with sandwiches, tarts, pork pie, plus strawberries and cream – and enjoy the tennis on the large-screen TV at this Butler’s Wharf venue.

bluebird-restaurant.co.uk

gilgameshbar.com

chophouse-restaurant.co.uk

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BITE SIZE

Comfy booths: inside Balans

THE ITALIAN JOB Chow down on some top Italian cuisine at the newly opened Antico. The chef at the restaurant, located in Bermondsey Street, Southwark, has created a menu that boasts traditional dishes with a modern twist. And set menus are reasonably priced – with two courses costing £15, and three for just £18. There will be biweekly acoustic nights at the contemporary downstairs bar, which is also showing the Euro 2012 games. What more could you want? noburestaurants.com

SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL Date for your diary! July 4 marks the opening of Rattlesnake, the latest funky bar to open on Upper Street, Islington. Inspired by his road trip along Route 66 in America, designer Paul Daly is behind the decor of the venue – a live music bar and kitchen with a nod to the open road, that promises the spirit of 1969’s Easy Rider. Rattlesnake will boast a 300 capacity, with booths influenced by the studded leather panniers of the great Harley Davidson touring bikes. rattlesnakeangel.com

MEXICAN BY THE THAMES Street food with an unbeatable view of the Thames is the formula behind Wahaca’s newest restaurant. The Mexican eatery is built out of eight recycled shipping containers, arranged in a two-storey overhanging structure. It is designed by street artist Saner, who travelled from Mexico City just for the eco-friendly restaurant. Wahaca has combined flavour, art and architecture. That is food for thought.

BALANS BRASSERIE STYLE THE SCENE Smack-bang in the middle of the Westfield Stratford complex, expect this place to be heaving next month when the Olympic crowds get to town. Choose to either sip cocktails al fresco on the terrace, which leads to the shopping centre, or head inside for funky, bright decor and chilled-out dining. House music is the order of the day as we sit in the oversized, brown seat at the back of the venue, overlooking the other orange booths and the drinkers in the tall chairs at the bar. Although it’s a Friday night, it’s not rammed, but there’s a buzzing atmosphere as shoppers pop in for post-retail-therapy relief. THE GRUB Choose from a range of starters, salads, sandwiches and main courses. My husband opts to kick things off with the crab cakes, which are served with a delicious papaya salsa and chipotle remoulade. I’m served huge, soft slices of buffalo mozzarella, with sliced tomatoes, basil and olive oil. We’re off to a good start. Next up, Rich gets the 10oz rib eye steak, which comes with the biggest handcut chips I’ve ever seen. The meat is cooked to perfection and gets the thumbs up. My baby spinach salad boasts a soft poached egg on top of new potatoes, mushrooms, tomatoes and a mustard vinaigrette. The portion size beats me, but I’m not done – managing to order a far-too-big-for-one chocolate brownie for dessert, which is so hot, it burns my mouth. We wash our meals down with a Red Lotus (vodka, lychee liqueur, cranberry juice) and a Manhattan (Canadian club, sweet vermouth, bitters), both of which are divine.

A solid range of cocktails (frozen/champagne), nine choices of each red and white wines – with some decent options on offer, such as Chablis and Barolo – and lots of bubbly. BILL PLEASE Starters from £5.95; mains from £10.95; cocktails from £6.75; wine from £16.50 a bottle, £4.10 a glass; fizzy stuff from £29 a bottle, £6.50 a glass. VERDICT Worth a visit, even if you’re not shopping at Westfield. CAROL DRIVER BEHIND THE BAR

wahaca.co.uk 123 The Street, Westfield Stratford, E20 1EN

balans.co.uk

Stratford

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Re: Stonehenge (TNT 1502): Peace and love? Have been visiting Stonehenge for years and sadly it gets worse each time. Many use this sacred site as a tip and an excuse for a massive booze-up, falling over the place and making fun of the beliefs of others Syka, via tntmagazine.com

Re: Highs and lows: (TNT 1503): On an average day, 110 people will die in the UK from alcohol-related illness and incidents. It’s pretty obvious what the worst legal high is. Oh, and just for the record, here’s an alcohol experience: “Room started spinning, threw up. Heart rate went through the roof as I tried to stand over the toilet for a pee. Next day had a massive headache.” Freddy, via tntmagazine

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One obvious solution to the obesity epidemic is to reward those who keep their weight within guidelines, for example: don’t make them pay for offenders’ stress on the system. Healthcare industry specialists need to find some progressive solutions to incentivise good habits. That industry gluttonously gobbles up scarce resources way over the rate of inflation. It needs to get off its greedy inertia now. Quasarnine, via tntmagazine.com

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BETFAIR WEEKEND SUMMER

COCKTAIL PARTY SATURDAY 21ST JULY

SHAKEN OR STIRRED EXPERT MIXOLOGISTS CREATING EXQUISITE COCKTAILS

LIVE MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE AFTERNOON AND AFTER RACING FEATURES THE

£1,000,000 KING GEORGE VI AND QUEEN ELIZABETH STAKES SPONSORED BY BETFAIR Tickets from £26 per person Fine dining available 0844 346 3000 ascot.co.uk TNT_1504_edit.indd 17

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LONDON TO GATWICK BY BENGA Book your ticket online and get Bengaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exclusive 30 minute Express Track, inspired by the journey from London to Gatwick.

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My lights are better than your lights: Mark Knight

VINTAGE FESTIVAL

festival

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HIGH DEFINITION FESTIVAL Forest Farm, Ilford, IG6 3HQ JUNE 30 | DOORS 11AM | £40

Celebrate culture and fashion from the 1920s to the 1980s against the backdrop of a gorgeous Northamptonshire stately home. Sergio Mendes, Aloe Blacc and St Etienne are among the acts, with ‘vintage’ nightclubs including Let It Rock (guitar culture), Leisure Lounge (Sixties-themed), Soul Casino (Seventies Northern soul) and Torch Club (music and fashions of the Twenties, Thirties and Forties). There’s art, craft and design workshops, film screenings, the Chap Olympics, and the Vintage Funfair, too. Unique festival glamour! July 13-15. Boughton House, Northamptonshire, NN14 1BJ. £139 Kettering

You best bring your game face as this one-day dance fest is set to push it – and you – all the way. With a massive line-up spread across five arenas, it will keep you dancing the rest of the weekend. Holland-born DJ Fedde Le Grand and Mark Knight (above) are the main stage co-headline hosts. Fedde forged a reputation as one of the biggest names to emerge from the Dutch house scene, and has established himself as a force to be reckoned with through residencies at some of the world’s most prestigious, influential and essential clubbing institutions. He’ll be joined by Knight, whose Toolroom Records has scored been the house DJ at Ministry of Sound, and in Ibiza, Miami, Frankfurt and New York. Knight’s worked on recent output by Faithless and Underworld, and scored himself a Grammy nomination for his work on the Black Eyed Peas’ The E.N.D. Ms Dynamite will bring her urban sounds, and Aussie drum ‘n’ bass outfit Pendulum hit Saturday night with a DJ set. Also featuring will be disco-house sensation Maceo Plex, recently nommed as one of the top five DJs in the world; Miguel Campbell, a veteran of the UK house scene; dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass chart smasher Sub Focus; alongside MistaJam and drum ‘n’ bass legend Fabio. “We’ve got an obsessive passion for what we do. It’s about attention to detail: the artists, the sound, the visuals, the quality of the experience,” festival director Daniel May says. “This year is going to be special.”

vintagefestival.co.uk Fairlop

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NEW BAND

THE DATSUNS GIG THURS, JUNE 28. 7PM £8

The Cambridge, NZ-bred garage punks broke out with their 2002 self-titled debut, then recorded a follow-up with Led Zep’s John Paul Jones, and found a fan in Lars Ulrich. Now prepping the yet-untitled fifth album, the gang’s back in the UK, with a warm-up show in London before their Hop Farm appearance on June 30. Powers Bar 332 Kilburn HIgh Road, NW6 2QN Kilburn powersbar.co.uk

LEMONADE

GUILTY PLEASURES SUMMER GARDEN PARTY

CLUB

SAT, JUNE 30. 9PM-4AM £5

SAT, JUNE 30. 10PM-3AM £10

There’s electro-tinged live acts, house, techno and disco, DJs, and an aura of ‘don’t fuck!’ cool at this weekly east London night. If you get down early, you get in for free, but at a mere fiver after 10.30pm, this ace night is a steal. Get down and cut some shapes to some truly top tunes.

This summer party sees Koko transformed into a picture of English traditionalism – floppy hats, cricket whites – with a host of pop pleasures to guide you through the night, including DJs Sean Rowley and Anna Greenwood, live music from The Lipsinkers, cabaret and burlesque troupe The Dreamboats, and more.

The Nest 36-44 Stoke Newington Road, N16 7XJ Dalston Kingsland ilovethenest.com

Koko NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent guiltypleasures.co.uk

BACK 2 BLACK FEST

ELECTRIC MINDS SUMMER SESSION

CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA

GIG

CLUB

GIG

JUNE 29-JULY 1. 6PM (FRI), 1PM (SAT & SUN) £35

SAT, JUNE 30. 2PM-6AM £10+

SAT, JUNE 30. 7.30PM £24.50+

This travelling fest celebrating music of African roots moves to London from Rio, with an all-star line-up. I Try soul singer Macy Gray, who returned this year with Covered (featuring takes on tracks by the likes of Radiohead and Metallica), headlines the Friday, Roots Manuva the Saturday and Gilberto Gill the Sunday.

This 16-hour party on the banks of the River Lea in east London boasts the best in UK and German house, featuring Amé, Sven Weisemann (above), BNJMN (Live), Kowton and more. There’s no noise restrictions for the outdoor section of the bash, which moves indoors at 11pm, so expect mental mash-up madness. Will you be able to keep up?

The sweeping, genre-stradling, complex-yetaccessible oeuvre of Jason Swincoe’s ‘orchestra project’ is a beguiling proposition on record, as they blend jazz, indie and dance, with soundtrack accompaniment and, as the name suggests, movie images. Live, though, they are quite another thing altogether.

Old Billingsgate Old Billingsgate Walk, EC3R 6DX Monument oldbillingsgate.co.uk

A secret London location TBC electricminds.co.uk

SAID THE WHALE THE BUZZ SO FAR In the five years since ‘The Whale began, they have made a handful of albums of infectious pop-rock brilliance, been the subject of a documentary and won last year’s Canadian Juno Award for Band of the Year. Upcoming long player Little Mountain sees them unveil 15 new tracks that veer from sweet pop and jagged-rhythm indie, to rocking-out jams, with the harmonious thrust of dual vocalists Tyler Bancroft and Ben Worcester. Canada’s biggest export are, rightly, about to make waves. THE CRITICS SAY “Said The Whale’s strength is their ability to marry catchy hooks with a roots-music tradition. ” MusicEmissions.com THE PLUG Little Mountains is out July 2 through Hidden Pony Records.

Barbican Centre Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS Barbican barbican.org.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS

MONDAY 25 I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £1.50.

Electric Flowers Official After Party DJs Mike W and Kitty & Innsy spin electro-pop, alternative, funk, hip-hop and electronica. Ginglik, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH (020 8749 2310). 9pm-3am. £8, mems £6 before 11pm.

BOOK NOW!

Fabriclive DJ Hype (DJ set), Pascal, Original Sin, Calyx & TeeBee, Sub Zero, Dub Phizix, Prolix, Dynamite MC, SP:MC, 2Shy, Eksman, Evil B, Strategy, LTJ Bukem , Spectrasoul, EZ Rollers, Transit Mafia, Furney, Fats, Moose, Distance, Cyrus, Tunnidge, Sleeper & District, Razor Rekta, LX:One and Toast spin house, techno and electro. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £17, adv £16, adv £21 inc CD, £7 after 3am, mems £12, NUS £10 before midnight.

The Jump Off DJ Manny Norte plays hip-hop, garage and R‘n’B, with hosts Rap 6 and Charlie Sloth. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 8pm-2am. £12, £10 before 9pm, adv £8. Monday Madness DJs Bruno and Jimmy Jam spin pop and carnival classics. Walkabout, Temple, Temple Place, WC2R 2PH (020 7054 8033). 8pm-midnight. £5, free before 8pm. Popcorn Resident DJs supply dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8. Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, indie, rock and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. £5, £1 before 11pm, free before 10pm, NUS £3. Swing Cats Jam Resident DJs provide swing, jazz and retro, plus dance lessons with Robert and Claire Austin. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). 9pm-11pm. £6.

TUESDAY 26 Balearic Deep, vocal, and Balearic house from Amir Groove and Nick Tcherniak. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist Free. No Quarter Resident DJs spin rock, electro and indie, with live performances from Atlantics, SisterBrother and Jamie West. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, w/flyer £6. Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/flyer free before 10.30pm. Stupid Tuesday Resident DJs play funky house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977). 5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm. Tuesday Elle Tiyo and Drezone supply disco, funk, dance, pop, indie and urban. The Roadhouse, The Piazza, Covent Garden Market, WC2E 8HB (020 7379 6132). 5.30pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.

BACK TO 95 Proud 2. Sat, July 14. £17.50 Back to the old skool with DJ Spoony, Matt Jam Lamont (above) and a wealth of classic garage, r’n’b, funk and house anthems, too. SE10 0DX

North Greenwich

WEDNESDAY 27 Clubbing London & Max Parties House and electro. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). Midnight-6am. £10. Death2Disco DJs Danny Watson, Nigel Thomas and BlagSound DJs spin indie, punk and rock, plus Eighteen Nightmares At The Lux, Stealing Signs and The Welcome Committee perform live. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £3, free before 11pm. Grade 9 Records House, electro and garage courtesy of Head Creep, Three Cornered Hat, Manny Gentleman, La Raveneau, Severity, Aura 4, 2 Intension and One-Off. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). 7pm-late. £5. Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £5, £3 before 11pm, free before 9pm. Roda De Samba Marilia Felix, Mafua De Yaya, DJ Thakosta and guests supply Latin beats and samba rhythms. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5 after 9pm. Work Lee Harris, Niyi Maximus Crown and Big John Freeman spin house, pop, electro, R‘n’B, funk and dancehall. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 11pm-5am. £5, £4 before 1am.

THURSDAY 28

What Ever Happened To P-Rock? Joey Cape, Moral Dilemna, The Roco Lampones, Rob Lynch and Mug spin punk, rock and metal. The Macbeth, Hoxton St, N1 6LP (020 7749 0600). 7pm-late. Adv £9.

Bad Sex Phaze One, Mayton DJs and Fin Munro spin indie and electro. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £7, £5 before 10pm, NUS/guestlist £5, NUS/guestlist free before 10pm.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus supply electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

Gravity DJs Alan K and Fat Tony provide electro, house and disco. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 2pm-late. £10, concs £5.

proud2.com Headphones And Manbags Pt 2 Johnny Reckless, Phil Asher, Orin Afronaut, Pete Mello, Kaidi Tatham, Seamus Haji and Stephen Dove spin funk, dubstep and soul, with MCs T-Roy Broadcite and MC E Mix. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3am. £10, w/flyer £8, adv £5. Love Present DJs Rob Bailey and Chris Dale spin 60s club soul, ska, Motown, R’n’B and boogaloo. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482). 10pm-late. £5, free before midnight. Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm. Yoyo DJs Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin hip-hop, dubstep and garage, plus Zebra Katz and Sunless 97 perform live. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7.30pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

FRIDAY 29 CellarDoor DJ Farouk and residents provide Latin house and funk. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Circus London DJs Yousef, Mendo and Tom Flynn supply house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm7am. mems £13-£20, adv/NUS £10. Club Antichrist Andy Heintz, Jez Miller, D Void, Vade Retro and guests supply post-punk, goth and indie. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 10pm6am. £28, adv £18 & £23, mems £16. The Detroit Series: Part 1 Juan Atkins, Simian Mobile Disco (DJ set), Dave Congreve, Charles Drakeford and Dollop DJs spin house, techno, disco and electro. Netil House, Westgate St, E8 3RL (020 3095 0900). 10pm-6am. £25.

The Gallery Richard Durand, Max Graham, Alex O’Rion, Tall Paul, Steve Lee, The House Hookers and Lose Control spin electro and trance. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £14, mems £11. Hypercolour/Glass Table Jimmy Edgar, residents and guests supply drum ‘n’ bass and dance. Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613). 10pm-late. Adv £8-£12.50. Sub Dub Iration Steppas Sound System, General Levy & Joe Ariwa, Mungo’s Hifi, Youngsta, Kryptic Minds, J:Kenzo, Biome and LX One spin reggae, dub and dubstep. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £15, adv £8-£12. Vibes 1st Birthday And Fancy Dress Party Sukh Knight, Vectra, Monsters and guests supply house, dubstep and electronica. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-6am. £6.50, adv £5. XOYO Versus Presents The Heatwave, Top Cat, Serocee & Rubi Dan, Juvinile, Body Work Crew and Cellar Door spin house, techno and electro. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 10pm-late. £15, adv £8 & £10.

SATURDAY 30 Antidote Sam Russo, Alex Nagshineh, Michael Penman and residents supply deep and tech-house. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 8pm-5am. £15, free before 9pm. Choice Reloaded DJs Jigs, Firin Squad, Woody and KC spin R‘n’B, hip-hop and 1990s hits. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). 10pm-5am. £15, VIP £25. Fabric Craig Richards, Radio Slave, Terry Francis Omar S, Mike Parker, Steve Bicknell, DJ QU, Brinsley Kazak and Bruno Schmidt spin house, electro and techno, plus Mr G and Tevo Howard perform live. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, adv £23 inc CD, £10 after 4am, mems £13, NUS £12. House Clique Resident DJs spin house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

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Legends: The Summer Send Off Party Mighty Moe, Maximum, MC Sparks & Kie, MC Versatile, Crazy Cousins, Coldsteps, Supplier, Kanga, Benny Major and Mark Radford spin garage, house and techno. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). 10pm-late. £10. Saturday Sessions Basement Jaxx, DJ Sneak, Cooly G, Jesse James & Johnny Bloomfield, Ryan Mac, Connor Benson, Jia & Jevs, Jack Sawyer & Ben Davis, Freaky Electronique, Trent Gently, Miss Tourettes, Paul VonGoulding, Ferdinando De La Rosso, C Randall, Tempo Eterno, Kolo and Dyze, Kieran McCarthy, DJ Misura, Mike Neptune, Anthony Payne and Neil Page & Freddie Laws spin electro and house. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £15, mems £12. Soltek 2nd Birthday Coat Of Arms, Graphics, Daffadam, Medlam, Optimus Times and Tommy Blunt spin house, techno, punk, funk and disco. The City Arts & Music Project, City Rd, EC1Y 2BJ (020 7253 2443). 10pm-late. £10, adv £5 & £7. Soultogether DJs David Harness, Patrick Wilson and residents spin house, disco, funk and reggae. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3.30am. £10, £8 before 10.30pm, adv £7. Swingkick Swingrowers, MustDash, Jaquiweb, Shefitza and guests supply electro swing, dubstep and electro-house. Ginglik, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH (020 8749 2310). 9pm-3am. £8, mems free, guestlist £6 before 10pm. Viva La House Black Coffee, Nick Doe, Jessica Rabbit, Mark Radford, Ricky Ward, Sef Kombo, Manio, Jason Sol, Flava Lucas and Damian Nova spin house, electro and African beats. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). 10pm-6am. £20, adv £15.

SUNDAY 1 Beyond Afterhours DJs Steve Pitron, Mikey D, Alan K, Sharp Boys, Gonzalo Rivas, Paul Heron, HiFi Sean, Paul Christian, Ariel and Fat Tony spin house, electro and techno across three floors. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 6pm-1am. Adv £12. Ibiza Return Party Resident DJs and guests supply house, techno, electronica and dance anthems. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free. Jaded DJ Raymundo Rodriguez and guests spin house and techno. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 5pm-1am. £12,. Pause House, disco, hip-hop, chart, funk and Latin. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-6am. £10. Secretsundaze: Roof Top Party Daniel Bell, Braiden, Flori, James Priestley and Giles Smith spin house and techno. Bussey Warehouse, Rye Ln, SE15 4ST. 1pm-9.30pm. Adv £14.50, see www.residentadvisor.net for details.

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TWO BEACONS FESTIVAL TICKETS together with TNT Magazine to give away a pair of tickets to the amazing boutique showcase in Skipton North Yorkshire. The festival will showcase many talents including the likes of Roots Manuva, Maya Jane Coles, Toots and the Maytals and Julio Bashmore to name a few. The Beacons Festival is a splendid arts and music festival situated in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales and showcasing a dynamic and exciting wealth of music, film, and art with great food and drink over a fantastic weekend from Friday, August 17 to Sunday, August 2012. Enter at

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A BESPOKE MILK TAILOR MADE BOOK PHOTO ALBUM Three lucky readers could be in with a chance of winning one bespoke MILK Tailor Made Books photo album, worth ÂŁ60. Relive your travel adventures when you create your own bespoke MILK Tailor Made Books photo album. Designed by you, printed to the highest standard on beautiful paper, bound in designer fabric, these stunning albums will ensure your memories of new friendships, sundrenched days and sultry nights in exotic lands can be cherished and shared forever ... Enter at

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MONDAY 25 Kendrick Lamar American rapper and singer-songwriter performs songs from his album Good Kid In A Mad City. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). Also Tue. £18.

Frankie Rose, Fear Of Men, Death At Sea Indie and lo-fi rock by the New York-based singer-songwriter. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £8.

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FRIDAY 29 Anchorsong Electronica from the London-based producer and musician. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). Adv £12, early bird £7.

Levellers The folk-punk stalwarts perform material from the album Static On The Airwaves. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £17.50, w/CD £19.50. Marina And The Diamonds The glamorous singer performs indie-pop with her group. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq, off Portobello Rd, W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). Adv £18.50. Nicki Minaj, Stooshe The flamboyant New York-based singer and rapper performs hiphop and R‘n’B from the album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £35 & £45. Priceless London Wonderground: Joe Driscoll’s Local Posse The New York-based hip-hop singer and beatboxer invites performers from around the UK to collaborate on a mash up of musical styles running the gamut of classical, folk, funk, hip-hop, rock and world. The London Wonderground Spiegeltent, Jubilee Gardens, off Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). £10.50. Saint Etienne The Londonbased threesome performs alt dance-pop from the album Words And Music By Saint Etienne. London Palladium, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (0844 412 2704). £22.50-£28.50. Curtis Stigers The platinum-selling vocalist-saxophonist from the US interprets jazz from the Great American Songbook. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). Also Tue-Fri. £38-£50. Trixie Whitley Alt and blues-rock by the Belgian singer-songwriter. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). Adv £10.

TUESDAY 26 BluesFest 2012: The Robert Cray Band The Grammy Awardwinning blues-rock musician perform s with his backing group. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0844 209 7331/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25-£55.

READING FESTIVAL Richfield Avenue, Reading. August 24-26. £197 The Cure, Kasabian and the Foo Fighters (above) headline this bank holiday rock fest, along with The Black Keys, The Vaccines, and Crystal Castles. RG1 8BD

Reading

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BluesFest 2012: Van Morrison Soulful acoustic rock and jazz-blues from the veteran Belfast-born, Grammy Awardwinning singer-songwriter, whose notable hits include Brown Eyed Girl and Moondance. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 209 7331). £45-£100. Comeback Kid Hardcore punk by the Canadian band. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.

BluesFest 2012: Ronnie Wood The Rolling Stones guitarist and singer performs a tribute to the famous blues label Chess Records with various backing musicians. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 209 7331). £35-£75. Glimpse, Martin Dawson, No Artificial Colours House and techno from the London-based artist. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12, adv £8 & £10. LowZNoise, Everything We Left Behind, Plastique, Tommy And The Bad Touch The outfit plays electro-rock. Hope And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £5. Mica Paris R‘n’B and soul from the London-based singersongwriter. The Albany, Douglas Way, SE8 4AG (020 8692 4446). £12. Psirico, Zheel Chicleteiro Pop singer from Brazil. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £30 & £35.

Lagwagon, Useless ID, Crazy Arm Pop-punk by the band from Goleta, California. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.

Alanis Morissette The Canadian singer-songwriter performs pop-rock with her band. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £37.50.

Decapitated, Hades Lab, Dead Beyond Buried, Ted Maul Death metal from the Polish four-piece. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £15.

Solstice, Io Earth Classic prog-rock by the veterans of the late 80s prog revival. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

Benjamin Francis Leftwich Folkpop from the York-based singersongwriter. Power’s, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 2QN (020 7372 4598). £16.

Real Estate The New Jerseyformed outfit plays psychedelic surf pop in support of the album Days. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £13.50.

The Electric Flowers, The Blue Arkestra, Charley Macaulay, Payroll The Watford-formed five-piece plays electronic pop. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £10.

Sufi African Vibrations World music by the South African group. St Ethelburga’s, Bishopsgate, EC2N 4AG (020 7496 1610). £12, adv £10.

Saint Saviour Alt electropop by London-based singersongwriter, Becky Jones. St Pancras Old Church, Euston Rd, NW1 2BA (020 7388 1461). Also Thu. Adv £10.

Farruko Latin hip-hop by the singer from Puerto Rico. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). £25.

Ingrid Michaelson The New York-based singer performs indie-pop from the album Human Again. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £15. Sean Paul The Jamaican Grammy Award-winning singer performs reggae and dancehall from his album Tomahawk Technique. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £27.50 & £35. The Pierces, James Levy And The Blood Red Rose Pop-rock by the New York-based siblings. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). Adv £19.50. The View The Dundee-based band plays indie-rock from the album Cheeky For A Reason. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £16.50.

WEDNESDAY 27 BluesFest 2012: Erykah Badu, Lianne La Havas R‘n’B, soul, funk and blues from the Texan singer. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 209 7331). £27.50-£55.

E4 Udderbelly Festival: Havana Rumba! Cuban Salsa Party Juventino ‘El Chico Divino’, Eric Turro ‘El Maestro’ and the band Sonora La Calle feature in this exciting show of Afro-Cuban sounds and dance. E4 Udderbelly At Southbank Centre, Jubilee Gardens, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). Also Wed-Sun. £15, £20.

Gojira, The Safety Fire Extreme metal combo from France. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £14, phone for availability.

Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons Pop and rock from the veteran American singer and his band, known for the hit songs Big Girls Don’t Cry and Walk Like A Man. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). Also Wed. £85.

Macy Gray The Grammy Awardwinning American R‘n’B and soul singer-songwriter performs reinterpretations of indie and rock songs from her album Covered. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). Also Thu. Adv £30.

Casiokids, Becoming Real Electropop by the Bergen-based band. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £9.

THURSDAY 28 Adrian Roye And The Exiles, Fiona Bevan Afrobeat influenced folk and soul from the London-based singer and his band. Charlie Wright’s International Bar, Pitfield St, N1 6EN (020 7490 8345). £8, adv £6, concs £5. BluesFest 2012: Nick Lowe Pop-rock by the veteran singersongwriter. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0844 209 7331/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25-£50. The Brights, New St Adventure, Last Of The Troubadours The London-based band plays indierock from the album A Trivial Pursuit. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £8, adv £6. The Ciyo Brown Trio Soulful World music from guitarist Ciyo Brown and his band. MAP Studio Cafe, Grafton Rd, NW5 3DU (020 7916 0545). Adv £10. Combichrist Industrial metal and goth by the Norwegian band. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £17.50. The Datsuns Garage and poprock by the band from New Zealand. Power’s, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 2QN (020 7372 4598). £8. Lightyear, New Town Kings, Anti Vigilante, Tyrannosaurus Alan Ska-punk band from Derby. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12.

FutureProof, We Start Partys, Tonight We’re Electric Electropop by the Hertfordshire-based band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £6. London 2012 Cultural Olympiad: Back2Black Festival A celebration of the African roots in music and culture featuring Macy Gray, Luiz Melodia, Linton Kwesi Johnson & Dennis Bovell and Emicida on Friday, performances on Saturday from Roots Manuva, Criolo, Hugh Masekela, Soul Caribbean and Tono and to close the event on Sunday Gilberto Gil, Amadou & Mariam, Jupiter & Okwess International, and Mart’nalia will play live. Plus discussions and music workshops. Old Billingsgate, Lower Thames St, EC3R 6DX (0845 120 7550). Also Sat & Sun. Fri £35, under 16s £20, Sat/Sun £45, Sat/ Sun under 16s £25, weekend ticket £120, weekend ticket under 16s £70. Young Men Dead, The Stags, Sharks, SHJ Indie-electro by the Brisbane-based band. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £5, guestlist £4, free before 8pm.

Tribes The London-based fourpiece plays grunge, rock and indie. Dirty South, Lee High Rd, SE13 5PR (020 8852 1267). £11.50.

SUNDAY 1 BluesFest 2012: Tom Jones Pop and easy listening from the veteran singer. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 209 7331). £35-£75. Garbage, The Jezabels American alt rock four-piece featuring Scottish singer Shirley Manson plays songs from the album Not Your Kind Of People. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). Adv £29.50. Lydia Lunch’s Big Sexy Noise, The Cesarians, Das Fluff, Bleak The singer, poet, writer and actress leads her no wave and post-punk outfit. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12. Carrie Rodriguez The Mexican singer-songwriter plays country-rock and folk-rock. Underbelly, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7837 4412). Adv £10. Shels, Latitudes, Astrohenge Prog rock from the BritishAmerican band. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £10.

SATURDAY 30 Tony Bennett Pop, jazz and showtunes from the multi awardwinning, New York City-born singer known for the songs I Left My Heart In San Francisco, Rags To Riches and Stranger In Paradise. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). Also Sun. £30-£65.

The Story So Far The band blends ska, rock, punk and reggae. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £25-£40. The Toy Hearts The Birminghambased band plays bluegrass and Americana. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £8.

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You'd flag it, wouldn't you? 26

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Flagging all over the world If you thought getting laid was reward enough, think again. Now there are new rules – and a whole globe to conquer WORDS TOM STURROCK Casual sex and travel go hand-in-hand – young people bouncing from one corner of the globe to another, unattached and intent on expanding their horizons, can often find themselves sharing a bed with someone they met in a bar or a hostel the night before. For many, this kind of no-strings encounter is a highlight of any jaunt. Next time you fall into bed with a raunchy exotic, though, at least make a mental note of their nationality – that way, you can claim another flag. Yes, another flag – that’s the principle of flagging, the craze which involves ticking and bonking your way through an international checklist of various nationalities. And according, to Evan Smith, co-author of Destination Fornication: The Field Guide For Flaggers, some flags are easier to collect than others. “Your own flag doesn’t count, but if you’re an Aussie, for example, then New Zealand, Canada and English are pretty easy,” Smith, known in the flagging community as The Hunger, explains. “And the English also rank top of the most promiscuous list, so there you go. “At the other end, the Vatican flag is basically uncapturable – no one is born there. Let’s say you had sex with the Pope – that would actually end up being the German flag. Then there’s North Korea, hard to get to; Saudi Arabia, there’s the religious factor; Bhutan, because of its geographical isolation; Swaziland, there’s a lot of disease.” Proof of The Hunger’s commitment, though, is the fact he has managed to claim one of these rare, sought-after flags, although not without igniting some controversy. “I did actually capture the Saudi flag, although it is in dispute,” he says. “I was living in the Middle East and hooked up with a Saudi girl, but she was also British. Does it count? I’ll take it. You have to put yourself in an environment where that’s possible.” The Hunger, 28, hails from Sydney, but has spent much of the past decade overseas, including a stint working in hostels in France and later teaching English in the Middle East – hence the Saudi conquest. Flagging, he says, is merely a neat name for the between-the-sheets adventures young, globe-trotting travellers have been pursuing for years. “Backpackers like to party, travel and hook up – that’s a big part of it,” he says. “Whether you’re into a French guy or a French girl, there’s always an interest in the exotic. And,

these days, the world’s more mixed up and more accessible. If you look at life in any hostel or on a tour, people are hooking up and it’s a way of learning about the world at the same time.” That said, The Hunger’s co-authour and partner-in-crime,

“

Girls shag the night before they leave

”

a connoisseur of flagging known as Atlas Al, found himself in some hot water in his quest for the Vietnamese flag – it’s a cautionary tale that opens their part-memoirs, partinstructional guide. “He unknowingly slept with a prostitute,” The Hunger explains. “He thought he had picked up legit, but then she asked for money. Prostitutes can be really visible in some parts of the world, but we don’t want to encourage that ›› – paid-for flags don’t count.

Backpackers like to party TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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No, blowjobs don't count

zone. Are you going to be a tourist or an explorer? You don’t want to take the McDonald’s version of travel – stand here, take the same old picture. You don’t have to do what everyone else does.” And, ultimately, flagging adds to the fun of travel. “Flagging is mostly for guys, I guess, but also for girls,” The Hunger says. “We just want people to go out there and have a look, have fun and enjoy the adventure.” ❚

OLYMPIC FLAGGING GUIDE HOW TO GET LUCKY IN LONDON SMALL TALK Anyone who has ever been in a city during an Olympics can attest to how friendly the city becomes. This makes people extra approachable. When you say ‘did you see that swim by Phelps? Or ‘how fast was Usain Bolt last night…’ everyone is passionate and keen to have a chat. A LA CARTE The Olympics is a roadmap to know what nationalities are competing where. For example, where there are Swedish competitors there are Swedish fans. And where there are Swedish fans there are happy people. LOCAL AREA KNOWLEDGE If Argentina is playing Russia and you want to meet Russian fans, you won't find them in the Walkabout. But if you want to meet Australians, and there is a big event on, then it would be a perfect time to be there. Find out where different nationalities choose to watch the event. PARTY RULES Know what people from different places drink and how they party, it makes for classier chats. EVENTS WITH SEX APPEAL Shotput, marathon, weight lifting; won't find many hotties participating nor attending these events. Increase your chances of meeting sexy fans by attending volleyball, gymnastics, and football. flaggingheadquarters.com

Photos: Thinkstock

“Another time, we thought we were going to meet some nice Lebanese girls but we ended up with some of the local mafia. It just shows that you need to know the environment.” This immersion theory forms the bedrock of The Hunger’s guide to successful flagging. If you want to collect the hardto-acquire flags, you have to be willing to go the extra mile. Once you get past the easier flags, he insists, the rest require some hustle and determination. “You need to understand something about the country,” he says. “You’ve got to give yourself a chance – take the pulse of these places, think like a local and adapt. You can’t expect to go where tourists go and pick up.” It’s a recurring motif in the flagging manifesto – to succeed, you need to be able think on your feet and roll with the punches. You need to be daring enough to improvise. If you sleepwalk your way through a trip, following the crowd, you’ll come home empty-handed. Of course, there are some slightly more cut-and-dry guidelines, some handy hints gleaned from years of observation and sniffing around backpacker bars and hostels. “There are a few unofficial laws,” The Hunger says. “Generally, girls prefer to shag the night before they leave, because they want to avoid that walk of shame situation. If there’s a group of people in a hostel, you have to lead – don’t be passive, because nothing will happen.” There are other rules as well, mostly designed to prevent cynical flaggers from inflating their haul without doing the hard work. “Well, it’s one flag per shag – if someone has two passports, you don’t get to claim both,” The Hunger says. “Blowjobs don’t count – you actually have to shag. And it’s not always about how many – if you’re obsessed with the number, then the quality will suffer. It’s more about an interest in the world and in fine women. Is someone with 50 flags better than someone with five? No – it’s about the cool story.” It is this premise – that the adventure itself is the object – that underpins the ‘weighted flag theory’. “Picking up a Uruguayan in Uruguay, for example, is worth more,” The Hunger says. “It takes more balls, for a start, and it means you have to go outside your comfort TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Ralph Grayden The Aussie author on his life in London, his inspiration for his first novel and the perils of the British media INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Where did the idea for London-set satire Page Three come from? From my own early experiences in London. I arrived from Sydney in late 2004 and like [the book’s character] Paul Fletcher, I had a plan to change careers. I’d given up law to be a freelance writer, but didn’t have the contacts to make it happen. Also like Paul and Sarah, my wife and I had unrealistic ideas. We’d spent all our money travelling, so the first few months we were broke. Most of my London friends were lawyers or bankers, which gave me this sense of downward mobility. There was always this tension about finding a solution – going back to law or going home. It gave rise to the book. Where does Paul stop and Ralph begin? Our backgrounds are similar. Like Paul, I became a corporate lawyer as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I was expected to work 70-hour weeks in a job I hated. Not a recipe for happiness. I found myself asking ‘is this all there is to life?’. What appealed to you about the law? I drifted into it because Iunsure what I wanted to pursue. I enjoyed language, liked the sound of my own voice and had a huge bias towards the humanities at school. Everyone said I should be a lawyer, so I believed them. Studying it was fun because it was all about philosophy and history and the things I enjoyed. Do you ever regret you chose a lowerpaid career? I’d like to say no, but the truth is sometimes it’s hard not to feel a little jealous when your best friends have stayed the course and have so much more money than you and can enjoy a different quality of life. Still, I have my happiness … wow, that sounds pretty vomitus. You say of Paul Fletcher’s experience that “beneath the partying lies a divided culture where reality is dictated not just by the company you keep but also the media you consume”... I think what we like counts for so much. Because the British media is so diverse, it’s easy to only read or watch things that agree with what we already think, so we never really end up challenging ourselves. It also means the

“I thought London was the worst place on earth” competition is cut-throat, and that leads to the temptation to make things up. Page Three is intended to be satirical and tongue-in-cheek.

What three things sum up London? The weather, the pubs and the overwhelming feeling you’re at the centre of the world.

You’ve said your own story is far more sordid than Paul’s ... I was 30 when I arrived, but my time in London was like a second youth. I drank more those four years than in the rest of my life put together, mainly just because it’s the culture of the place. Almost all of our socialising was at the pub and, even when it wasn’t, we’d always end up there. I once got drunk one Saturday night at home and went on eBay – I woke up in the morning the proud owner of a campervan called Rudi.

Is there a lack of cultural awareness in Australia? Yes and no – you only need listen to our politicians to know introspection isn’t always big on our agenda. We’re an optimistic and materialistic country and that doesn’t lend itself to self-reflection. Also, Aussies don’t like to come across as ‘up themselves’, so we’re never going to be like France, where philosophical discussions make prime time TV. But beneath that, you only need listen to the lyrics of some of the best Aussie pub-rock anthems to know that there is some real soul searching going on.

What did you expect of London? Probably that I was going to experience the same London I had as a tourist. One of the things that surprised me the most was the massive gap between rich and poor in London, which we’re certainly not used to in Australia. When you fall on the wrong side of the equation, London can be a pretty tough place, and this is something that Page Three tries to look at. Did you ever have second thoughts? Yes, for the first six months or so I thought London was the worst place on earth. We arrived in winter and we were unemployed, broke and out of our comfort zones.

How do you feel about UK tabloids? One of the issues in Page Three is how the British media builds up someone who doesn’t do anything into a celebrity. I don’t lie awake worrying about that, but it is kind of sad. Like all sensationalist media, the tabloids are about heroes and villains. If you become one of their villains, you’d better watch out … However, the phone hacking was as low as it gets. Page Three: A Very London Story is available as an ebook from Amazon, iBooks, smashwords.com and online retailers now

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LONDONSCENE

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Surprising: McConaughey’s Texan trailer park tale

KILLER JOE FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple | 18 | 102mins

FRIENDS WITH KIDS FILM STARRING: Jennifer Westfeldt, Adam Scott, Kristen Wiig, John Hamm | 15 | 107mins

Jennifer Westfeldt writes, directs and stars in this relationship comedy about two singeletons who decide to have a child together, hoping their plutoniconly love will sidestep the negative affect kids have on relationships. It’s a tad overlong, but witty, funny and shrewdly observed, nonetheless. On general release from June 29

Matthew McConaughey is typically the abbed pin-up star of rom coms such as Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past: the good-looking guy who saves the day and gets the girl. He is not, usually, the maniacal, predatory hitman, with a penchant for young girls, and a general disregard for life and morals. Yet he excels in exactly that role in William Friedkin’s gloriously twisted comedy thriller. McConaughey is Detective Joe Cooper, who’s hired as an assassin by Emile Hirsch’s drug dealer, Chris, to kill his mother so he might claim an inheritance. Predictably, though, things don’t go to plan, and Joe begins a dubious relationship with Chris’s younger sister Dottie, as part of his ‘retainer’ until he is paid in full. Adapted by Tracey Letts’ from her own novel, this is a sleazy trailer park tale, loaded with double crosses by dumbasses whose incompetence is the only thing for which they can be relied upon. Thomas Hayden Church is superb as Chris’s deadbeat dad, Brit youngster Juno Temple fearless as his damaged sister, and Gina Gershon gleefully revulsive as the trashy stepmom with eyes on the money. Friedkin nails the smutty, seedy tone, and injects a dark, and often uncomfortable, sense of humour – one sequence in particular will change the way you look at fried chicken for evermore. The Exorcist helmer wraps his hands around this pulpy material, immersing the audience in a Texas of trailers, strip clubs and bottom-rung hoodlums. But it is McConaughey’s film, the Texan-born star showing himself as an actor in a whole new light. GOOD FOR: Those who like their comedy as dark as Texas’s syrupy oil

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GIVE US A

SHAPPI KHORSANDI

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Khorsandi’s new show Me And My Brother In Our Pants, Holding Hands tells the story of two siblings who were best friends but who also, as brothers and sisters often do, enjoyed beating each other up. Expect Shappi’s insightful observations and zany, spirited delivery to keep you amused all show long.

Ha ha!

Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. June 25-28. £15+ Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

CLIMATE CHANGING STORIES

GATZ

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

A look at the changing climate through man’s invention and response to it. It includes the first electric car, which appeared on our streets back in 1887, surprisingly, and a look at man’s reluctance to embrace change, as shown by our past unwillingness to shift from the gas lamp to light bulb. Simpler times, indeed.

Never quite got round to reading F Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel The Great Gatsby? This eight-hour production – that begins with a frustrated office worker with a frozen computer and turns into a word-for-word re-enactment of the classic novel – demands huge commitment, but sucks you into its story of a dying era. LK

Science Museum SW7 2DD. Free. Until June 2013 South Kensington sciencemuseum.org.uk

Noel Coward WC2N 4AU. Until July 15. £37.50+ Leicester Square gatzlondon.com

FRISKY AND MANNISH What’s Extra Curricular Activities about? This is our big, splashy celebration of our favourite pastime – titting around with pop songs. When did you first start titting around with pop? We were two poor, barely employable, struggling artists in 2008 and sat down with all our music to put together a set for a charity show – Papa Don’t Preach became an aria, I Would Do Anything For Love a lullaby, and Come On Eileen a heartfelt ballad.

Photos: Rosie Collins; Catherine Ashmore

Which artists are the best to cover? Any artist who takes themselves seriously is wonderful for us, the cooler the better. That’s why we’ve had so much fun with Florence + The Machine, Kate Nash, Coldplay and, now, Lana Del Ray.

YOUR SISTER’S SISTER

TORCH SONG TRILOGY

FILM

THEATRE

US indie-cinema darling Lynn Shelton follows up her Sundance-award-winning Humpday with this low-key comedy-drama. Mark Duplass retreats to best pal Emily Blunt’s remote island holiday home after his brother’s death, only to find her sister has had the same idea. A warm, funny and touching exploration of relationships and how complicated they can be.

David Bedella makes a convincing Arnold Beckoff, a husky-voiced, gay, New York drag queen looking for love and contented domesticity, in this adaptation of Harvey Fierstein’s award-winning 1978 production. A heartfelt and slimmed-down revival, it mixes sentiment with snappy one-liners. LK

On general release June 29.

Menier Chocolate Factory SE1 1RU. Until Aug 12. £29.50 London Bridge menierchocolatefactory.com

Who’s your favourite pop star? We’re both big fans of Kate Bush. She has a reputation for being bonkers, which is totally fair – she spent most of the Eighties doing interpretative dance with big starey eyes in a lycra onesie! Extra Curricular Activities at Udderbelly, July 5 & Wonderground, Aug 9 Jubilee Gardens, SE1 8XX. £15.50 Waterloo friskyandmannish.co.uk

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SPARETIME

Hedkandi: Beach House

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The Amazing Spiderman

DVD

PS3

Sun-kissed summer house tunes from DJ Ben Santiago. £10.99 amazon.co.uk

Go on, be a hero. £37.85

Flo Rida: Wild Ones

London 2012

blockbuster.co.uk

Ps3

Take to the track, negotiate the Velodrome, create your own Olympic moments. £29.85 thehut.com

The gangsta rocks out with his homies J-Lo, 50 Cent, Lil Wayne and LMFAO. £10.66 grooves-inc.co.uk

#smilesfilm iPhone app

Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter: The Long Earth

Yoko Ono has been doing her darndest to get a smiley face snap of every person in the world. Giver her a hand. Free itunes.apple.com

Book

The two sci-fi giants collaborate in this story of utopia in alternate Earths. £11.39 waterstones.com

SafeKnight BlackBerry/iPhone/Android/Nokia

In a hairy situation? Take a photo and it’s automatically tagged with your location, then stored in a database. £0.79 safeknight.org/

Helen Rappaport: Beautiful For Ever Book

The author unearths Madame Rachel, a dodgy Victorian era beautician. £6.74 whsmith.co.uk

Allotinabox Urban garden

A kit that’ll get you growing your own organic veg. £12.99 culturelabel.com

A Dangerous Method DVD

A dark, sexual tale of psychiatrists Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, and temptress Sabina Spielrein. £12.97 asda.com

Roller skates Quad skates

Frolic through Hyde Park in these rainbrow babies. £44.99 surfdome.com

Young Adult DVD

A brilliant black comedy about returning home, featuring Charlize Theron. £9.99 play.comm

App of the Week London 2012 offical game app Android app

For the fine athletes out there mysteriously overlooked by your nation’s selection committee, this is your chance to go for gold. Free play.google.com

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Men’s chino shorts Smart and casual – just the tennis-day outing combo.

T-Bar wedge sandals With just the right touch of glamour to perk up your all-whites.

Broidery lace dress Team this swishy frock with low heels for the VIP look. clothingattesco.com

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DESIGNER LINGERIE SALE Is the sock draw looking pretty sparse? Well, there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist. London is hosting one mega designer lingerie sale, where you can get your hands on some very pretty, very sexy and very stylish undergarments for up to 80 per cent off their regular retail price. This is the season for short skirts and see-through tops, ladies. God forbid you have a Marilyn Monroe moment and the beige hold-ins with fraying elastic band say peek-a-boo. At this sale you’ll pick up stylish swimmers and smalls from labels including Damaris, Sexy Panties and Naughty Knickers, Miss Mandalay, Beautiful Bottoms, Nicole De Grace and Mimi Holliday. There’ll be pieces from past and present collections as well as one-offs, so you’ll never have to deal with that ‘we’re wearing the same dress at the same party’ sort of shame. What are you waiting for? Go rummage through knickers. OPEN Tues, June 26, 10am-9pm COST Suggested donation of £2 for the Royal National College for the Blind Facebook/missmandalay 20th Century Theatre, W11 2QA Ladbroke Gove

Tuck front shorts Embrace longer, wider shorts for a chic look.

£20

Wimbledon wear

topshop.com

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Goodthing Polo Get sporty courtside in hot pink. regatta.com

£18

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Men’s striped polo Team with chinos or kneelength shorts for a classic outdoors look. next.co.uk

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Timex fashion strap watch Wear the colours of Wimbledon on your wrist. johnlewis.com

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Lee Cooper sunglasses It’s hard to watch the ball when the sun’s in your eyes.

Men’s Onitsuka Tiger trainers Take style tips from a funky Japanese sports brand. onitsukatiger.com

brulimar.co.uk

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

FIT AND FLIRTY Fit2date is a dating workout with a difference. Aimed at busy single professionals who are time-starved and want to combine exercise with socialising. Fit men and women get together for a hot and sweaty routine where they must work together in teams to achieve physical challenges. The situation aims to allow natural conversation to flow, compared to the awkward ‘dating’ questions when meeting someone for the first time. In the end, you may not get a medal, but you might get someone’s number. There are only two requirements: participants must be fit (that is the cardiovascular sense) and single. The concept has proved to be a success in Australia, where it originated. Fit2date now boasts 12 marriages and four babies. Founder Erica French met her husband at a fit2date group. She has trained Olympic gold-medalist swimmer, Ian Thorpe and Australian actor Daniel Macpherson. Fit2date is launching with twohour workouts called Mega Meet in June in London. It will also offer four-week training programmes, eight-week run clubs, ski trips and more.

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Bring on the games! Forget the Olympics, stage your own sports event to rival 2012 WORDS CAROL DRIVER Summer means one thing: hours spent lazing around in your back garden (if you’re lucky enough to have one) or in the local park. But a sunny afternoon wouldn’t be complete without a bunch of games to keep you and your mates amused. Here, we check out the best of what’s on offer.

Pro Swingball, £39.99 This should get the childhood memories flooding back. But it’s not the same game that was popular in the Eighties and Nineties; it’s harder – now at 1.75m, it’s taller, meaning you have to hit higher or jump. With two players taking it in turn to smash the ball, one clockwise, the other anti-, the aim is to reach the top or bottom of the spiral with the tether first. Easy. swingball.co.uk

Butthead, £10 Grab a bunch of mates and team up to buy some of these silly games. Each box has two hats and three balls. The competition (as TNT sees it) would be that whoever is

unlucky enough to end up with the most balls stuck on their head endures a forfeit. We’ll leave you to decide what that will be. 50fifty-gifts.com

Kubb, £24.99 Attempt this traditional Swedish lawn game, where the object is to knock over heavy blocks while throwing wooden sticks at them. Marry with a few drinks on a summer’s day, and what could possibly go wrong? clasohlson.co.uk

Rounders set, £19.95 Enjoy this old school game, which comes with four wooden stumps, a bat and a tennis ball in a fetching cotton bag. You’ll need two teams – one bowls while the other bats – with a minimum of six on each. Aim to score the most ‘rounders’ by running round the stumps. Bring drinks as it’s full on. dotcomgiftshop.com

Micro-scooter, £52+ Who says scooters are for kids? The Micro

Clapham Common Clapham Common fit2date.co.uk

Say it with a banana 36

Space Hoppers: hours of fun

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LOOKING DAMN FINE

Pro 2000 Dryer Blast your tresses to life like a pro £29.99 nickyclarke.com

Despite the bat, Eddie the sex pest was at it again Sprite is Swiss-designed and features a lightweight frame, tough PU wheels and an easy-folding mechanism. Getting about has never been so much fun.

that, so not suitable for anyone with a short attention span, really. activetoys.co.uk

Space Hopper, £20

micro-scooters.co.uk

Jeronimo! Giant Tower, £40 Test your skills with this giant version of jeronimo, which is made up of 60 wooden blocks. Complete the tower, then the idea is to take it in turns to remove the blocks one by one without knocking it over. Just when you think you’re doing well, your world could come crashing down. tsttoys.com

Chess set, £30+ Pit your wits against your opponent with this giant chess set – the mat is PVC and the pieces are made of plastic, so it doesn’t matter if they get wet. The aim of the game (in brief) is to get the other player’s king in ‘checkmate’, which means you’ve won. However, it’s a little more long-winded than

Expect to have hours of fun bouncing around on one of these retro hoppers. Choose from a range of colours and then race your friends while trying to eat a jam donut. Just an idea.

SureMen Adventure Don’t lose your cool in the heat £1.70 suremen.co.uk

space-hoppers.co.uk

Bananagrams, £44.95 Looking for something a little more taxing than hitting a ball around? Well, this is a game more for your mind than your physique. A super-sized version of Bananagrams is being released just in time for summer. Packaged in a funky banana-shaped bag, the game is a race against your opponent to build NEXT WEEK giant crossword grids Where to take up and use all tiles. DIY as a hobby...

Bush Flower Essences Smell like an Aussie petal £19.95 planethealthdirect.co.uk

bananagrams.com

Photos: Getty

TOP TREATMENT: HOB MAN Every bloke will agree: city living requires to you to be at your stylish best 24/7, but all that grooming often takes its toll on your wallet. Spruce yourself with a visit to newly opened HOB Man in the Brent Cross Shopping Centre and take advantage of an exclusive offer: a £30 cut, finish and hot towel shave at one of 10 styling stations. HOB have done their bit to help you, the rest of your future success lies squarely in your own hands.

Fix up, look sharp

NW4 3FP

hobsalons.com

Brent Cross

Clean Fish shampoo Guys, go for an extreme clean £3.99 boots.com

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Shake it up: a good hostess always tries the drinks first

It’s time to party No longer the preserve of housewives, party plans are making a comeback – but this time, it’s not just Avon calling WORDS REBECCA KENT The recession has led to a boom in party plans, with anyone from young entrepreneurs to students finding the flexible working hours and potential to make megabucks – and bag freebies – appealing. And, in an industry worth £2bn, everything from saucepans to scented candles are now being sold by brochure, with men even becoming increasingly involved. TNT examines the options.

party plans where guys and girls can have a real blast,” sales and marketing director Sarah Rabbitt says. How much can you earn? A consultant gets £50 worth of products to start, then 20 per cent on accessory sales over £600 a month. At least two parties a week are suggested. Hosts get a free gift, plus the value of 10 per cent of sales to spend on products.

Best In Glass

Jamie At Home

What’s it about? An evening of wine tasting and cocktail-making, with the beverages and barware available to buy. The cocktails are designed by London Cocktail Club mixologist. JJ Goodman. What they say: “This is one of the few

What’s it about? For the house-proud, or fans of the crusading chef himself, this is a party selling goods from Jamie Oliver’s kitchenware range. What they say: “You’ll be selling beautiful designer-led kitchenware, and get the opportunity to meet

best-in-glass.com

Jamie himself,” communications manager Fiona Rigby says. How much can you earn? It is suggested two parties a week will yield about £500 a month, and team managers earn up to 10 per cent commission on sales. There is also a car allowance scheme, and the opportunity for lots of free products. Hosts get to spend a portion of sales made on the brochure, plus they get special offers throughout the year. jamieathome.com

Chocolates For Chocoholics What’s it about? Taste and discuss a wide selection of chocolates and sweets not available on the high street. What they say: “Because chocolate is such a fast-moving consumable, there’s

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB NIROSHEHAA RAGUNATHAN CAREER Research assistant AGE 21 LIVES Northwood FROM Sri Lanka

Photos: David Loftus, best-in-glass.com, Thinkstock

Pukka: help make Jamie rich

Lovely lingerie: have a giggle with the girls

the opportunity to HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL make £60 on average potentially make good PARTY PLAN CONSULTANT from a single two-hour money,” director Roger party. You also get ✰ Keep precise notes about your Cossey says. 30 per cent off Ann customers, ie who to give a certain How much can you Summers products. shade of lipstick to, who likes earn? You purchase Hosts get a 10 per cent bubble bath, and who would be chocolates to sell, commission on party soon running out of their favourite and for your guest to sales, plus a free gift. product and need a restock. savour, at a discounted ✰ You need to shift a lot of annsummers.com rate, and pass them on products before you can make Neal’s Yard with a mark up of 15 serious money, so incentivise hosts to 27 per cent. Parties to get their guests to buy. What’s it about? Sell are only held between ✰ Be shrewd. If it’s a jewellery natural health and September to December party, ask women to hand over beauty products and January to Easter. the emails/phone numbers of their and remedies from Top consultants have boyfriends, then contact them after a very established been known to make the party and tell them about an high street brand. £10,000 in a week item their girlfriend had their eye on. What they say: “With – that’s a whole lotta an ethical company, chocolate. Before with 30 years of success, deciding to become a consultant, keep behind you, it’s easy to make money,” in mind you will need room to store NYR Organic boss Denise Bonner says. your chocolate deliveries. How much can you earn? Consultants purchase a starter kit for £95, and, chocolate-parties.co.uk as well as 25 per cent commission on Ann Summers sales, they get a 10 per cent discount on weekend courses such as herbal What’s it about? It’s something of a hens’ night, where the girls get together remedies, nutrition and perfumery. Depending on sales, hosts and pore over lingerie and sex toys. What they say: “Even for the consultant, earn up to £100 worth of this is a party in every sense of the NEXT WEEK products, plus word,” PR manager Katie Byrne says. How much can you earn? A consultant’s get goods at Score work in Queenstown, NZ half price. starting kit costs £500, payable at £3.50 a week, and it is estimated you can nyrorganic.com

How did you get into your line of work? I got hooked on science while reading New Scientist at school when I was 13, and ended up studying medical engineering at university. I was offered a job with the skin charity RAFT after graduating, and have been terrorising the scientist there ever since. What do you do day-to-day? Sometimes I’m in the lab for 12 hours, other days I have to read research papers and write reports. I also write for the charity’s blog, and attend science seminars. Occasionally, I also talk at schools. What’s the best part of your job? I love designing my own experiments and discovering new advances in tissue engineering. What’s the most challenging part? Being stumped by ridiculous results in experiments. raft.ac.uk

HOW TO...WRITE A GREAT COVER LETTER You don’t have to pen a masterpiece, just know how to stand out from the crowd

• Personalise your letter by

addressing it to a specific person or demonstrating your knowledge of the company.

• Limit your achievements to those that represent your relevant experience.

• Don’t be afraid to follow up your application – but not less than a week after the cut-off date – to reiterate your interest.

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tntjobs.co.uk DARWIN’S DELI T: 020 77939762 www.darwinsdeli.co.uk Born in 1992, Darwin’s Deli delivers sandwiches by bicycle to businesses & organisations in London & the surrounding area.

itsu www.itsu.com We make Asian inspired salads, sushi, noodle potsu & rice bowls with butterfly light, delicious ingredients. Every itsu operates like a traditional restaurant... dishes are made one by one...there’s no buying in of ‘ready meals’ or central factory –esq kitchen.

ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Riders Location: London Salary: OTE Ever wanted to be your own boss? Always wanted to be the most popular person in the office? Enjoy working outdoors? If you have answered “yes” to any of the questions, please apply. Fill in our online application form at www.darwinsdeli.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Team Member Location: London Salary: £7.25 an hour (after 2 weeks and including £1 Mystery Shopper Bonus) + perks We are looking for Team Members with big personalities to work for us. You must be fun, energetic, passionate people who love working as part of a team in a high paced environment. A genuine passion for providing the best customer service is essential. To apply visit us at 1st Floor, Dorland House, London, SW1Y 4PH (Mon-Fri / 10am)

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £504 per week

Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses! Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

GALLOWGLASS

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments

T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

020 7617 7894 | www.origincare.com click on jobs section

Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew. You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude. CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

T: 020 3427 5423 www.kiwioznannies.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Top nanny jobs available today! Location: London, Europe, Australia and NZ Salary: Up to £550npw per week

We help experienced nannies find top jobs. With offices in London, Sydney and Auckland we have excellent jobs available worldwide.

Have an exciting career in childcare in the UK with KiwiOz! We are looking for reliable, experienced nannies today. Excellent hours, minimum 4 weeks holiday per annum and excellent pay.

KIWIOZ NANNIES

www.kiwioznannies.co.uk

REENIE FUNDRAISING T: 020 8556 7180 www.reeniefundraising.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Face-to-Face Fundraiser Location: London Salary: New starters earn approximately £350 per week

Face to Face Event Charity Promotions. Meet New People & Help a Good Cause. Fun Job, Excellent Pay & Expenses

Ability to confidently engage with strangers. Positive outlook with a sense of humour. Desire to make a difference. Excellent career progression opportunities. Regular pay every week. Travel expenses paid. simone@reeniefundraising.com | 020 8556 7180

Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

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CASH-SAVING TIPS MORE MONEY WITH Xxxxxxxxx JUST ONE CLICK Leaving your computer XXXXXXXXX idle while you’re away Xxxxxxxxxxx from your desk can increase your electricity XXXXXXXXX bill and create a hefty Xxxxxxxxxxx carbon footprint. Plug the Ecobutton into your XXXXXXXXX USB port with one small Xxxxxxxxxxx click. It makes your computer and monitor XXXXXXXXX draw as little power as Xxxxxxxxxxx possible and costs £11.05. eco-button.com

CUT THE COST OF TRAVEL There is one positive note in the Eurozone crisis: cheaper ferries to Greece. Deals for journeys through Directferries start at £10 for inter-island tickets. So don’t waste your money using tanning beds, get that summer glow island-hopping.

HOW YOU SPEND IT! Thursdays for free booze at galleries in east London and, for example, free life-drawing classes at The Prince Drawing School in Shoreditch or even Vintage cafe, off Brick Lane. Last big blow-out? Six fun-filled days in Marrakech, Morocco. Shoes I didn’t need.

KELLY GRIFFIN, 25 JOB Journalist FROM Melbourne, Australia LIVES Hackney How do you budget? Very badly. I take out a small amount of cash each week

Any money-saving tips for living in London? Take advantage of free events, such as First

What non-essential items do you spend money on? As soon as I have some savings together (which isn’t all that often), I’m pretty much always blowing it on a weekend away somewhere.

Costly cuts and colour Rihanna’s ever-changing hairstyles don’t come cheap. She spends a reported $1990 (£1280) per week. Riri’s not the only celeb dishing out cash for the love of new locks

❚ Reality show star Kim Kardashian recently changed her black hairstyle with soft brown highlights for an estimated $385 (£289) – before tipping.

SHOES STEALS For fancy footwear without the painful price tag, Rubbersole lets users search up to 60 per cent discounts on top brands. Savings on UGG, Paris Hilton and Calvin Klein are now at your fingertips. rubbersole.co.uk Photos: Getty

and try to spend no more than that modest amount. Sometimes this works.

HOW THEY SPEND IT!

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LIFESTYLEMONEY

‘Hair I am, baby’

❚ Style icon Jennifer Lopez spends a reported $750 (£482) on a colour and cut session with her stylist, Oribe. Being red-carpetready must be tough for the mother of twins.

❚ Emma Watson spent about $500 (£322) to shear off her hair in 2011. After raking in more than £20m for her role in the last two Harry Potter films, this must seem like chump change. ❚ Chart-topping diva Lady Gaga is never shy about her ever-changing style. From vibrant blue to jet-black, her average haircut costs about $425 (£275).

Front of House Waiting Staff Westfield, Stratford City £8.60 ph - £10.45 ph Absolute Taste provides the finest hospitality for the VIP guests of the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes Formula 1 team and has a reputation for excellent food, exciting party design and professional staff. We recently won an exciting contract to be the official caterer of Westfield Stratford during the Olympic games. We are currently recruiting highly experienced staff to work with us on this exciting project this summer. The pay will be £8.60 during the off peak period and £10.45 during the peak period.

If you have fantastic customer service skills and are immaculately presented then send your CV and picture to staffing@absolutetaste.com

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Live in the centre of London without feeling like you’ve just stepped out of the office BOROUGH, SE1 WORDS REBECCA KENT

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Despite having some of London’s greatest attractions – the Royal Festival Hall and Shakespeare’s Globe – SE1, on the Thames’s south bank, is far from just a thriving magnet for tourists. Thanks to London’s regenerative powers, it’s also an edgy, highly desirable place to live.

Why Borough?

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Such is the uplift in this pocket of the capital, Southwark Council is intent on making it London’s ‘third business district’. It’s got the faux-bohemian foodie mecca Bermondsey Street, for one, and, piercing the sky 310m into the sky, the Shard. The European Union’s tallest building has brought – and is still to bring – untold development (public space, offices, shops and residences) to what was once a fairly run-down area. But Borough is not all shiny and new. The Borough Markets and Shad Thames, by Tower Bridge, are charming reminders of the London of old. Raj Tanna, of Williams Lynch estate agents, in Bermondsey Street, says: “Far from being ‘up-and-coming’, Borough is here now, with riverside walks, and virtually all of central London right at your door.”

The people

Strawberry cool bag No one likes a tepid vino bhs.co.uk

The area has a diverse population, with a huge creative community, city whippersnappers, and long-time residents. But the majority of locals are young, trendy, and flush, says Graham Freeman, of Foxtons estate agents, in London Bridge.

“The Bermondsey Street scene, which, even though is very cool, has a lot of corporate money,” he adds.

Where to hang out Bermondsey Street is undeniably the destination to be seen. The recently installed White Cube gallery helped confirm its place among London’s most fashionable strips. Mark O’Kane, of Stirling Ackroyd estate agents, on Borough High Street, lived in the area for four years. “It’s got everything from a greasy spoon and gift shops to really great restaurants, like Pizzaro (josepizarro.com),” he says. “And there’s a really nice buzz every day of the week, but it’s never crazy.” The George Inn, just off Borough High Street, is London’s only surviving galleried

High life: the Shard coaching inn, and a wonderfully, ambient boozer (gkkpubs.co.uk). Maltby Street, too, is a small corner of warehouses that have become home to a handful of food retailers. Also, over the coming years, the Shard will increasingly become an all-in-one destination.

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BERRY Studio manager, 53

“I love the mixture of old and new. The Shard will be the tallest tower in London, but it’s next to an old church with three clocks, as they couldn’t afford a fourth.”

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“It’s just having the most massive impact – an extra 8000 people living and working in the area, plus five-star hotels and shops. It’s huge,” Tanna says.

The connections It’s in Zone One, with Borough Tube on the Northern Line. However, you have the advantage of being able to walk across most of central London. “SE1 is an easy area from where to walk to the City and West End,” O’Kane says. ”Yet you can return home to an area offering a high level of galleries and restaurants.“

What can you rent? Given its dockside location, there’s a preponderance of converted warehouses, lofts and boutique developments. But they sit next to modern riverside apartments and in soaring new towers, such as cutting-edge Neo Bankside. Freeman says: “Given the diversity of the properties – those NEXT WEEK at both ends of the price scale, within Best spots for parklife in London reason – anyone can live here.”

“The diversity of people here is great. They are are a combination of city slickers and travellers, and the area always feels very safe, never dodgy.”

ANDREW BYRNE Designer

42 “Bermondsey Street is the place if you are looking for a pub to relax in after work. Plus, the area is central, but doesn’t feel like you just stepped out of work.”

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WORLDVIEW Too far? The cartoon

@tntmagazine

Holy moly: a pigeon rests in the 16ft dreadlocks of Hindu saddhu (holy man) Sukhdev Baba Santi on the eve of the Ambubachi Mela at Kamakhya Temple in Guwahati, India

FACEBOOK BAN OVER GILLARD STRAP-ON AUSTRALIA Political cartoonist Larry Pickering has found himself feeling the wrath of Facebook, which banned him for three days after he posted a naked cartoon of Aussie prime minister Julia Gillard. Pickering, whose work has been printed in newspapers and magazines, uploaded the image, of Gillard wearing a strap-on, saying: “You’ll wake up on July 1st and nothing will have changed.” “Facebook’s taken me off the air for three days,” Pickering said on his page on the social networking site. “Means I can’t post for a while. Complaints from the arrogant Left here on Facebook.” TWEETS OF THE WEEK @angrybritain ‘I’ve made a terrible error of judgement’ says @jimmycarr. ‘I thought my laugh was ok’. @Queen_UK Prince William is 30. He said he didn’t want an expensive present, so one has bought him Italy. @awfulluckbrian Finishes GCSEs. GCSEs get scrapped.

SNAPPY SURPRISE FOR RAID OFFICERS UNITED KINGDOM It wasn’t quite what police were expecting when they carried out a drugs raid on a three-bedroom suburban family home in Cheshire. Officers searched the bathroom, only to be confronted with an 8ft alligator splashing around in the bathtub. They also found a poisonous king cobra, three monocled cobras and a rattlesnake after a series of raids on shops and properties nearby. Wildlife officers 44

and specialist reptile handling staff were brought in to deal with the animals and they are now being cared for elsewhere. Insp Dave Gordon, of Cheshire Police, said some of the animals seized were “potentially lethal”.

ESSEX NUNS TOLD OFF FOR BEING TOO SEXY UNITED KINGDOM It seems some things never change. A book written more than 1300 years ago warned nuns in Essex to avoid wearing clothes that would “nourish the fires of sexual anticipation”. De Laude Virginitatis (In Praise Of Virginity), ladies of the cloth were reminded the benefits of virginity and cautioned against wearing garments that “set off”

the body. The author of the work was Anglo-Saxon cleric Aldhelm, an energetic evangelist and early supporter of women’s education. The text was advice for the abbess nuns of Barking Abbey. The pamphlet of rules was written for local nuns long before the temptations of The Only Way Is Essex and bawdy jokes about Essex girls were even thought of.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 5

Amount, in thousands, of pounds German social services are to sue Robin van Helsum who claimed he had lived in a forest

Loving it: Bogans at Bogan Bingo

BOGANS MAKE IT IN TO THE DICTIONARY AUSTRALIA Men with mullet haircuts, who wear wife beaters and carry an esky full of tinnies can unite – the word ‘bogan’ has been officially accepted by the Oxford English Dictionary. It was included this month as an Australian and New Zealand colloquial “depreciative term for unfashionable, uncouth, or unsophisticated person, especially of low social status”. But far from being pejorative, some wear the name like a badge of honour, and if anyone knows, it’s Kiwi Dave Snell, who is otherwise known as Dr Bogan after acquiring a PhD in boganism. “I wouldn’t say [being a bogan] means you’re of lower status,” he said. “I prefer to talk about working-class people, and I don’t really like the idea of calling being a bogan uncultured or unsophisticated.” A study by linguistic students at Auckland University last year found under 30s took far less offence at being labelled a bogan than those over 30.

SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE Photos: Larry Pickering; Getty; Thinkstock; TNT

INDONESIA Tax collectors will undergo three weeks of military training from security forces to improve tax take and shed its reputation for corruption. The Jakarta bootcamp will involve 32,000 taking part in an attempt to boost morale and promote professionalism. “It requires a strong mentality and much vigour to fulfil the task of collecting tax,” said Chandra Budi, spokesman for the tax

FINAL 1504 NEWS world.indd 45

Millions of pounds spent by Essex County Council staff in two years on takeaways, cosmetics, nightclubs and lingerie

Height in feet of electricity pylon a 21-year-old woman was found clinging to in Czech Republic after smoking cannabis

Millions of dollars US student Kardin Ulysse, 14, is suing his state for after he was blinded in one eye at an attack at school

‘Drop and give me 10,000 – rupiahs’ office. The president’s security guards and the army’s strategic reserve command, an elite unit that has been accused of major human rights abuses in the past, will put the men through their paces.

ACCIDENTAL MILLIONAIRE ‘GUILTY’ NEW ZEALAND A cash-strapped gas station owner went online to check his bank account, only to discover he was £5m richer. A 2009 clerical error by a Westpac bank employee resulted in Hui “Leo” Gao getting a credit line of £5m, 100 times his approved limit. Within two days, Gao, 31, was transferring money to overseas accounts. Within a week, he was on a plane to Hong Kong. Gao’s odyssey as the “Accidental Millionaire” ended last week when he pleaded guilty to seven counts of theft. He is scheduled to be sentenced in August. Prosecutor Fletcher Pilditch said: “I think everyone in the banking industry has learned a few lessons from this.”

QUOTE OF THE WEEK After a day with Bono she might want to put herself back under house arrest Bob Geldof sympathises with Burmese former political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi, who had to sit next to the U2 singer during a tribute concert in Dublin

22/6/12 16:13:21

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TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: CAROL DRIVER

‘Avoiding tax on K2? Do you know how hard that mountain is to climb?!’

carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

Carr not paying tax a big deal? Don’t make me laugh

Photos: Getty

There are much worse offenders ripping off the country

Raise your hand if, offered a legal way to do so, you would opt to pay less tax. Pretty much most people reading this, right? After all, who wouldn’t want to pay less of their earnings to a government which (as far as we’re concerned) whittles it away on such things as a duck home for the moat around the house (Google ‘MPs’ expenses’)? But comedian Jimmy Carr has been lampooned for doing exactly this, hung out to dry for getting involved in a completely legal tax-avoidance scheme that protects £3.3m of his salary a year. Displaying spectacular hypocrisy, prime minister David Cameron (whose father ran a hugely profitable network of off-shore tax havens) said Carr’s actions were “morally wrong”. And there we all were, believing Carr was a bastion of morality; a purveyor of truth, guiding us to live our lives accordingly – not just a quick-witted stand-up giving us a giggle now and then. (And, by the way Mr Cameron, is it morally right to have as a close friend the head of a media empire that wants to conduct business with your government?) There are some 1100 other users on the K2 scheme, which works by finding ways around the tax loopholes Revenues & Customs closes. “It’s a game of cat-and-mouse,” one accountant said. So why pounce on Carr? The comedian faced a backlash and has now apologised, telling his 2.3 million Twitter followers: “I met with a financial advisor and he said to me, ‘Do you want to pay less tax? It’s totally legal’. I said, ‘Yes’. I now realise I’ve made a terrible error of judgement.” The best outcome we can hope for, now Carr has been made an example of, is that the government gives the same treatment to everyone in such schemes, including the British firms using Swiss companies to legally avoid paying billions of pounds in UK tax – making Carr’s avoidance look like spare change. If it doesn’t, it seems the joke really is on us. » Agree or disagree? Was Jimmy Carr right to avoid paying tax? letters@tntmagazine.com

OURVIEW

MACCY D’S ADS? THEY’RE LOVING IT By now, I would have thought it was safe to assume consumers (that’s us) know how advertising works. It’s how companies get us to buy their products – making them look their most appealing so we just have to have them. Right? So why the outrage over the McDonald’s video? The YouTube clip shows how much effort is put into getting its burgers ready for a photoshoot – ketchup and mustard added using a syringe for precision, for example. It’s exactly the same as what goes into making sure a model looks good when

“

Finished product isn’t like the reality

”

they’re advertising a clothing range, and the Photoshopping afterwards, leaving the finished product nothing like the reality. So, if you expect the sweaty, quickly prepared burger you hold in your hand to look like it does in adverts, more fool you. Maccy D’s has managed to dupe you – and they’re loving it. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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I shouldn’t be alive ... After a teen was speared through the head with a harpoon, TNT looks at the worst accidents survived WORDS CAROL DRIVER

“It’s a striking injury. It’s not everyday someone is brought in and speaking with three feet of a spear protruding [from their head],” Yasser Lopez’s doctor George Garcia said, in something of an understatement. Lopez, 16, had been mucking around with a speargun when it accidentally went off, shooting a metal spear into the front of his skull, an inch above his eye, through his brain, out the back of his head. He had been swimming at the time in Florida, touching the weapon’s trigger by mistake as he loaded the gun. Lopez lost consciousness and his friend passed out in shock, before coming to and raising the alarm. Arriving at the University of Miami-Jackson Memorial Hospital, Lopez was fully awake. Doctors had to use rebar cutters and vise grips from the fire department to remove 18 inches from the shaft protruding from the teen’s head so they could X-ray him (pictured above). Surgeons then spent three hours taking out the harpoon from Lopez, who is now in a serious but stable condition. “It’s a miracle the spear missed all the main blood vessels of the brain,” neurosurgeon Ross Bullock said. “The most important thing is to resist that temptation to pull that thing out. “The amazing thing is the boy is able to speak a little now. He is saying short sentences, he’s out of bed, he’s able to make his needs felt. His words are easy to understand.” Amazingly enough, Lopez is expect to make a full recovery after staying in hospital for the next few months. “Where he is right now is really a modern miracle,” Dr Anders Cohen, chief of neurosurgery and spine surgery at the Brooklyn Hospital Center, said. “He had a lot of good factors ... a perfect storm – he got very lucky.” It’s the latest in a long line of gruesome, life-threatening incidents where the victim manages to cheat death by, in many cases, just inches. Here, TNT looks at some of the most shocking incidents from which people have walked away. 48

Erin Langworthy, Bungee jumping Tourists cheered as Erin Langworthy, then 22, jumped head-first from the Victoria Falls Bridge into the Zambezi River on the border of Zimbabwe and Zambia this year. However, her adrenaline turned to fear as the cord snapped in two, plunging the Australian 111 metres nose-first into the crocodile-infested water. She was forced to swim, the rope around her feet, as the cord had got stuck in debris. Langworthy broke her collarbone and suffered bruising. “I think it’s definitely a miracle that I survived,” she said.

Supratim Dutta, Car crash Supratim Dutta defied the odds and survived after he was impaled by a five-foot-long, two-inch thick, iron bar. The rod shot through the upper half of his body and pierced out of his back when the then 23-year-old was involved in a car crash in India in 2008. He underwent six hours of surgery at the Jai Prakash Narayan Apex Trauma Centre. Professor Biplab Mishra said: “He was in excruciating pain with blood oozing out from both the entry and exit wounds.” Dutta survived to tell the tale – the rod had missed his vital organs.

Michael Holmes, Skydiving Michael Holmes was spinning out of control as he plummeted towards the ground after skydiving 12,000ft. The then 25-year-old skydiving champion, from Jersey, had leapt from a plane above Lake Taupo, New Zealand, only to have both his parachutes fail. He recorded a farewell message on his camera before crashing into a tangle of bushes and branches at 80mph. His skydive buddy found him bleeding and unconscious with a shattered ankle and punctured lung, but alive. “I should be dead, absolutely,” Holmes said in 2007.

Yi Zhao, Having a bath When Yi Zhao arrived at hospital with a tap and 16 inches of

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Clockwise from top: Zhao; Holmes; Langworthy before her jump and when the rope snapped; Dutta

pipework stuck in his eye, he was expecting doctors to help. However, the patient, who had slipped in the bath, impaling his left eye on the tap at home, was forced to pull it out himself. Firefighters had rushed Zhao, then 57, to casualty, only for surgeons to take three hours to send for a plumber to remove it. “I felt I could stand the pain, and it wouldn’t be a problem. It didn’t look too complicated,” said Zhao, of Chongqing, central China, in 2009. He made his decision after studying the X-ray with his good eye.

‘Ahmad’, Being a hero An X-ray of 15-year-old ‘Ahmad’ reveals how he cheated death after being stabbed in the head while trying to stop his friend’s phone being stolen. The attacker lodged a fiveinch blade into the front of the victim’s skull during the incident. The attack on the victim, known only as ‘Ahmad’, removed five per cent of his total brain matter. Surgeons said if anyone had tried to remove the knife, the boy would have died. A 17-year-old was jailed over the incident, which happened outside a supermarket in Walworth, south London, in 2008.

Photos: Jackson Memorial Hospital

Nicholas Holderman, Falling down One-year-old Nicholas Holderman was left with keys embedded in his eye and brain after falling on to them while toddling around at home. Hearing him cry, the boy’s parents saw the metal had punctured his eyelid, but didn’t dare to pull it out, calling paramedics to their house in Kentucky, America, instead. The first responders were pretty horrified. “Not something I ever want to see again,” Boyle County firefighter Chris Coffman, who was first on the scene, said. However, Holderman had to be flown to hospital, where it took an experienced surgeon 30 minutes to remove the key. The baby experienced no brain damage or sight loss. “It was pretty horrifying,” Coffman added.

Peng Shulin ‘walked’ away from this one

‘LIFE IS GOOD’ SURVIVING BEING CUT IN TWO It might seem impossible, but the human body can survive being cut in half. Two cases prove this theory. Peng Shulin and Truman Duncan both lived after being sliced across their waists. Shulin was cut in two by a lorry in 1995. It took a team of 20 doctors to save his life, sealing his torso, leaving him 2ft 6in tall. He amazed medical professionals at the China Rehabilitation Research Center in Beijing, walking again with the use of specially made bionic legs. Truman Duncan was swept underneath a train and cut in two in 2006. Despite losing both legs and a kidney, the then 34-year-old called for an ambulance on his mobile phone – telling them, “I think I’m cut in two” – survived a 45-minute wait, and then persevered through 23 surgeries. Two years later he was mobile, using a wheelchair. “Life is good,” he said.

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SPORTNEWS

@tntmagazine

Air time: Hong Kong wakeboarder Ho Lung Cheung competes in the Third Asian Beach Games in Shandong, China

KOOKABURRAS WIN RIGHT TO SLEEP IN HOCKEY Australia men’s coach Ric Charlesworth has won his battle with world hockey officials over scheduling of earlymorning Olympic matches for his number one-ranked team (above). The Kookaburras had faced rising at 5am to play the earliest match of the day, three times, but the world federation has relented, pushing back their match against Pakistan on August 7 by more than two hours. “We were ready to handle whatever we were dealt but this is certainly better,” Charlesworth said. “We always expected early games but not three and I am pleased it has been rectified.”

ANZACS VS LIONS TEST BEING SHOPPED RUGBY Australian Rugby Union boss John O’Neill is floating the idea of either an ANZAC or SANZAR composite side playing the British and Irish Lions at Twickenham in 2015. An ANZAC team played once before, losing to the Lions on their 1989 tour of Australia, though there were very few New Zealanders in that side. O’Neill is looking at ways to commemorate the centenary of the Gallipoli conflict in 2015. The idea found immediate support from Wallabies players, including winger/ fullback Drew Mitchell. “It would mean a hell of a lot to all involved,” said Mitchell, who likes the idea of it being more than a one-off occurrence. “Because there’s so much history between the two sides, on the rugby field and off, it makes a fair bit of sense. You wouldn’t find too many hands not being put up for that selection.” 50

SIX PLAYERS BUSTED FOR PARTY DRUGS

BIG WEEK FOR ...

AFL

Up-and-coming Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic will head to Wimbledon, aiming to improve on his quarter-final position in last year’s tournament. However, the 19-year-old received a sharp reminder there are no easy games at this level, losing cheaply to Italian Fabio Fognini at the recent AEGON International in London. Since winning in round one at Roland Garros, Tomic has also lost to Santiago Giraldo and Tommy Haas, and will have to get into the last eight, at least, to retain his world ranking of 27.

Six AFL players recorded first-time positives in out-of-competition tests to recreational drugs in 2011 – a figure AFL football operations manager Adrian Anderson acknowledges is unlikely to ever drop to zero. “It’s far exceeded our expectations – to have only six,” Anderson said. “When you bear in mind 30 per cent of blokes aged 20-to-30 in the community are trying illicit drugs, it’s naive to think that no player will.” All six positives were for stimulants such as cocaine and ecstasy. For the first time since 2006, there were no positives for cannabis and none of the positives occurred on match days.

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Captain fantastic: Michael Clarke

QUOTES OF THE WEEK I do believe that Newcastle have faxed an offer of £4m – but they must have the wrong player Lille head coach Rudi Garcia is not impressed in the slightest by Newcastle’s bid for France right-back Mathieu Debuchy. It was a bit cheeky, to be fair

PREVIEW England v Australia FIRST ONE-DAY INTERNATIONAL

FRIDAY, 10AM. SKY SPORTS 1 In Test cricket, Australia have been knocked off their perch – although they have scrapped their way back to third in the rankings – but have somehow remained top of the tree in 50-over cricket. That’s partly because 50-over cricket is seen as a waning format, but also because Australia still produces cricketers suited to it. That said, this Australian side is vulnerable – it’s still relatively early in the

four-year cycle between World Cups, so sides are experimenting with personnel, meaning results can fluctuate wildly. At home, England, despite never reaching any great heights in this format, might just fancy themselves. They’ve already got a fair bit of cricket under their belt this season, whereas the Aussies will be coming in cold. Two sides with more than their share of rookies, in English conditions. Let’s not get crazy, but you could almost argue the England team start this five-match series as favourites.

THE CHAT | Tour de France

I really can’t get into the golf, the nicest fellas around turn into absolute knobs – all those little golfy rules Irish rugby player Donncha O’Callaghan does his best to avoid the golf course in his downtime on tour with the team

There is no need for a Rolls Royce Games when a Toyota Games will suffice Commonwealth Games Federation president Tunku Imran says he’ll be satisfied with a budget Games on the Gold Coast in 2018

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

TENNIS has its own team in the Tour de Q Australia France this year? Which riders should I be looking out for? Orica-GreenEDGE team will be aiming to help sprinter A The Matt Goss, 26, win stages in the bunch sprints and bank points for the green jersey competition. The Tasmanian, who hopes to win Olympic gold for Australia in the road race in August, recently claimed his first stage win in the Giro d’Italia and scored a points classification win in the Tour of Turkey. Orica-GreenEDGE also have options in the mountains. Keep an eye out for Pieter Weening, who gained an impressive fifth place in the most difficult mountain stage of the recently Matt Goss completed Criterium du Dauphine race in France.

Wimbledon All the grass-court action Daily from 11.30am. BBC Two

FOOTBALL Euro 2012 The first semi-final Wednesday, 7.45pm. BBC One

FOOTBALL Euro 2012 The second semi-final Thursday, 7.45pm. BBC One TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

‘I’m king of the world … well, almost’

COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

Ronaldo’s superior ability may be his own worst enemy Portugal’s reliance on their captain could prove to be too heavy

» Messi or Ronaldo? Who is the better player? letters@tntmagazine.com 54

Australian Rugby Union boss John O’Neill’s idea of an Anzac team to face the British and Irish Lions is an interesting proposition. However, if it goes ahead, it must be given due respect to avoid tarnishing the legacy of those it aims to remember. Aside from the Lions, who have a proud history dating back to 1888, composite sides have rarely performed well. An argument could be made for the Barbarians, but these days they seem to get thrashed by everyone and never quite live up to hype of free-flowing rugby. If an Anzac team does go ahead in

“

Composite teams have rarely performed

”

2015, to commemorate 100 years since Gallipoli, it would have to feature the very best from Australasia, not players on the fringes, or ring-ins. However, with such long Super 15 and international seasons, would the top players really be up for it? Lest we forget, for sure, but also lest we embarrass our proud histories.

Photos: Getty

Cristiano Ronaldo now has the chance to firmly stake his claim as the world’s best player as Portugal move into the semi-finals of Euro 2012. However, even if he leads his nation to European glory, his detractors will remain staunch, still unconvinced that he is, or will ever be, ahead of arch rival Lionel Messi. Scoring the crucial goals against Holland and the Czech Republic that took his team to Wednesday’s semi, 27-year-old Ronaldo was a constant threat, oozing desire and hunger as he showcased the abilities that lead many commentators to describe him as “a complete player”. However, weaknesses do lurk; despite rarely putting a foot wrong, this footballing superman’s frustration at his teammates when they can’t find him with the ball, and indeed their apparent willingness to let him do most of the work, may be his kryptonite. More ego-driven than Messi, Ronaldo, although his side’s best player, seems at times to be apart from his colleagues. Where Messi appears one of the lads, a selfless giver, Ronaldo is the demanding egotist, constantly needing to be fed, scowling when he is not. When you have two great players almost neck and neck, you must then turn to their other contributions, their attitudes and ability to perform as part of a team. Both players’ 2011/12 goal tallies are similar: during the past season Messi scored 77 at all levels, while Ronaldo managed 71. Look at their assists, however, and Messi with 27, easily trumps Ronaldo’s 16. Both received nine yellow cards, but if there was a statistic for diving, the Portuguese would probably get it – although it could be argued he was doing it for the team. This week Ronaldo continues his quest to win an international trophy and in the process a crown that is purely subjective. However, this scintillating individual now needs his men more than ever. To achieve European glory will help the number 7’s argument for ‘best in the world’, but if his compatriots rely on him too much, without contributions of their own, Ronaldo’s brilliance may unwittingly be his undoing.

ANZAC SIDE MUST FEATURE THE BEST

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INTO NETBALL? Want to make friends and keep fit?

Then join the All Nations Netball

Mixed & ladies leagues Acton, Islington & Southfields

ACTiON Netball MIXED and LADIES THURSDAY NIGHTS IN ACTON 26th July - 13th September (8 weeks - Beginners Welcome!)

Excellent facilities and close to tubes, buses and pubs!

REGISTRATIONS CLOSE 16th July 2012 £280 per team £40 per individual (£5 per game) Females playing MIXED and LADIES = £60 (for both)

THE ALL NATIONS London’s premier social netball leagues since 2001 • Fun and relaxed • Great social atmosphere • Professional management and qualified umpires

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Email us at info@theallnations.com or phone Mel (Acton) on 07763 666 892, Charlene (Southfields) on 07880 995 669 or Sarah (Islington) on 07904 982 318 Find us on facebook “The All Nations Sports Leagues”

UMPIRES NEEDED Competitive rates apply 0787 2606 763 - action.netball@gmail.com www.action-netball.co.uk

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One Netball UK would like to invite you to join us in

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at our tournament on Saturday June 30th 2012!

Time: Where: Grades: Format:

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9 minute halves/18 minutes per match.

There will be Sausage sizzle, amazing sponsor prizes, all your favourite Aussie and Kiwi treats, a lunch time shoot out competition and much more! Get in touch now to grab the last few spaces- Single players, small groups and teams all welcome. Give us a call at the office on 0207 828 1034 or contact Sophie@onenetball.com.

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The green grass of home Prepare for another all-action Wimbledon championship WORDS TOM STURROCK

The English summer doesn’t officially start until Wimbledon arrives – and is duly rained out for much of the first week. And, as much as Londoners will be anticipating a spell of sunshine, this year’s tournament looms as one of the most memorable in many years for reasons that have nothing to do with the unseasonal – yet oh-so-predictable – rainfall. Right now, men’s tennis is in the middle of Golden Age, in thrall to the talents of a trio of players who, after sharing 28 of the past 29 majors, have now surely surpassed McEnroe, Connors and Borg as the game’s greatest triumvirate. Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal are the world’s top two players, and have wound up facing each other in an unprecedented four consecutive grand slam finals – after losing three times, Nadal got one back in Paris earlier this month. Of course, Roger Federer is still knocking about – he’s pushing 31, but coming back to Wimbledon, where he has won the title six times, is likely to give him a spike in selfbelief. And it would be rude to ignore the British contender, Andy Murray, who will surely break through one of these days. For now, though, he’s the best of the dark horses. However it pans out, Wimbledon 2012 promises to be another epic chapter in one of modern sport’s more engrossing dramas.

One more for Federer There’s no doubt the wheel has turned in men’s tennis. Federer’s golden streak, between 2005-07, in which he won eight of 10 majors played, has been consigned to history and Federer, like many champions before him, is fighting a losing battle against younger opponents and against time itself. The question is whether the great man has one more surge left, one more shot in the locker that allows him to clinch a 17th major title – it’s been more than two years since he claimed No 16 in Melbourne at the start of 2010. Federer (main image) is still playing high-quality tennis 56

but he appears a step behind the top two. And unlikely to recover that lost ground. Still, if there is to be a last stand, Federer will fancy his chances on grass, where he remains the game’s most natural mover and most exquisite shot-maker.

Djokovic on top He’s the reigning champion, having outlasted Nadal last year, and will begin the tournament as a warm favourite. Since the start of 2011, the Serb has dominated men’s tennis in a way that never seemed likely beforehand, but there were moments of strange listlessness in Paris. It may seem pedantic, given Djokovic still made it to the final of the French Open and had his chances against Nadal, the greatest claycourter in history, but, at times, he looked more vulnerable than at any time since the start of his purple patch. He was forced to fight back from two sets down in the fourth round and had to save match points against JoWilfried Tsonga in the quarters. Of course, he clicked into gear spectacularly against Federer in the semis, but if there are cracks appearing in his impervious game, they may be prised open at Wimbledon.

Nadal targets Borg’s record The French Open-Wimbledon double is considered the toughest combination of majors – not only do the surfaces reward different styles, but they are scheduled so close together that there is precious little time to adapt. Should Nadal clinch a third Wimbledon title this year, he would join Bjorn Borg as the only man to claim the Paris-London double on three separate occasions – the Swede, remarkably, did it three years running from 1978-80, all by the time he was 24. In the way the tennis world once waited eagerly for a Nadal-Federer final, the rivalry between Nadal and Djokovic is now the promoter’s dream. A spanner could yet be thrown in the works, but it would be short odds on these two

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise: Rafael Nadal; Novac Djokovic; Andy Murray

meeting in a fifth consecutive rand slam final, which, on relatively neutral territory, would provide a revealing glimpse of who truly holds sway in the game’s new definitive rivalry.

Another year of Murray madness Poor old Andy Murray. By the standards of any normal era, he’s a complete enough player to have won at least one major, probably even two or three. But in the era where Federer’s dominance has been replaced with a titanic struggle between Djokovic and Nadal, Murray just doesn’t seem to have the afterburners to get him over the final obstacle. For each of the past three years, Murray has made it to the semi-finals of Wimbledon, but no further – a record, dare we say it, that bears a deepening resemblance to that of Tim Henman, who, on four occasions made it to that stage, only to be bundled out in serialised parables of doomed hope. It’s hard to see Murray knocking over any of the top three – let alone two of them in consecutive matches, but don’t expect the locals to temper their expectations.

Photos: Getty

Or maybe a dark horse? At some point, another player will find a way to ambush the top four and join the list of recent grand slam champions. The last man to do that was Juan Martin del Potro, the towering Argentine, who, at 20, rumbled Nadal and Federer in consecutive matches to win the 2009 US Open. Del Potro represents the biggest threat outside the top four. That said, he will need to improve dramatically on previous showings in London, where he is yet to make it past the fourth round. The other perennial threat is Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga – he is, in patches, perfectly capable of outplaying and overpowering the world’s very best players – he had Djokovic on the ropes in Paris and beat Federer at Wimbledon last year – but frustrates with his tendency to burn brightly yet briefly.

AVE MARIA SHARAPOVA A LONG REIGN BECKONS Maria Sharapova turned 25 a few months ago, but it seems like she’s been around forever. Indeed, it’s eight years since she won her first major, at the tender age of 17, shocking top seed Serena Williams in the 2004 Wimbledon final. Since then, success has been drip-fed; there has been a career-threatening run of injuries, but also a career Grand Slam. Sharapova completed the set in Paris to join some rarefied company – Chris Evert, Martina Navratilova, Steffi Graf and Serena Williams are the other women to have achieved the feat in the past 30 years and, if Sharapova has not matched their output, she remains a player of rare quality. Given the fickleness of women’s tennis, she could be set for a rewarding run, beginning with this tournament.

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Back to The Cinque Terre â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Cheers the restored villages After the disastrous floods of last autumn Cinque Terre have a new birth. Stunning coastal path with beautiful Mediterranean flora, crystalline water and hided small beaches are waiting for you!

Trip Highlights: * The illustrious five villages of Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore * Breathtaking views of the emerald blue Mediterranean Sea * Steep terraced hills of olive groves, vineyards and lemon trees * Outstandingly delicious sea food and the famous Trofie al Pesto * Fabulous beaches for swimming Duration: 5 days Price from: ÂŁ 274 Tripcode: ITSW015 Challenge: These walks, though not very long, are moderate to demanding because of the steep hills. Several walks can be shortened. Lodging: In both Monterosso and Bonassola we use comfortable 3 star hotels with a friendly family run atmosphere. All the rooms have private bathrooms, TV mini-bar and hair drier. A good continental breakfast is served each morning. Dinner is only included on the first night in Bonassola (drinks excluded). All the hotels are near to all amenities.

T 0845 8687068 W www.s-cape.eu 58

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WOMEN IN RED The Tootsie Rollers retro girl band entertains visitors at Royal Ascot, London. The five-day meeting is one of the highlights of the horse racing calendar and attracted thousands of race fans last week

Photos: Getty; Ibiza Rocks; Preseliventure.co.uk; Caroline Eden

INSIDE

THE COAST IS CLEAR/62

IBIZA UNCOVERED /74

GOD’S OWN COUNTRY /80

Pack in a weekend of cliff jumping, sea kayaking and hardcore hiking on Wales’s western shoreline

Our resident Ibiza expert reveals why the white isle offers a Jekyll and Hyde holiday, from the superclubs to the super-chill

A peaceful paradise of winding backwaters and tea plantations, this southern state couldn’t be more different to the rest of India TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

@tntmagazine

Which technique works for you?

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

KEEPIN’ IT REAL When reflecting on past travel triumphs, it’s easy to forget that most came at a price. Many a time I’ve found myself delivering a vaguely smug monologue on how simply wonderful four days hiking the Inca Trail was, then later realised I was viewing it through the rose-tinted spectacles of hindsight – lenses that allow only for the good, heart-swelling memories, and not those in which your hiking shoes crushed your toes into a purple, bruised mangle of horror, and your mates endured punishing uphill climbs while battling a pant-bothering stomach upset.

An event for strong men and tenacious women to test their strength … and marriage. The styles vary: the traditional piggyback; dangling 6-7 upside down on the carrier’s back; thrown over the shoulder; and crosswise on the carrier’s shoulder. The track consists of sand, forested terrain, water obstacles and two log hurdles. Don’t drop her. JULY

WHY: In the late 1800s, there was a brigand called Rosvo-Ronkainen living in the area. He was said to have only accepted men who proved their worth on a challenging track. In those days, a common practice was to steal women from the neighbouring villages. You’d be looking for the small ones, wouldn’t you?

FREQS OF NATURE

eukonkanto.fi

CROPPING THE BEASTS

Berlin, Germany

Pontevedra, Spain

Cleanse your psyche and reach for the beyond at this 4-9 far-out festival.The Looney Moon Team from Italy has organised a gallery and chill-out space with carefully selected experimental downbeat music. Work on your interpretive dance skills because psychedelic trance music will be blaring on the two floors.

Join locals as they herd horses down a mountain to 6-9 a semi-round corral in town to be sheared and branded. According to legend, two sisters fervently prayed to St Laurence to save the town from a plague, in return they offered him two fine mares. Today the event keeps the horses healthy and the participants get the rush of their lives.

JULY

freqsofnature.de

KINSALE ARTS WEEK

JULY

concellopontevedra.es

SAN FERMIN

Cork, Ireland

Pamplona, Spain

The real highlights are the workshops, ranging from 7-15 how to make a four-foot Jell-O statue to a saucy sketchbook session with cabaret dancers.

The Running of the Bulls should be on every traveller’s 6-14 bucket list. Don’t forget to wear white clothes with a red pañuelo (scarf) to blend in and avoid the bulls.

JULY

kinsaleartsfestival.com

DO IT BECAUSE: In December 2011, the Medical Journal Of Australia published “Wife carrying for health” and sited the strong emotional bond between your partner and yourself, combined with physical activity, could lead to a healthier and longer life.

JULY

pamplona.net

Photos: Getty

These not-so-rosy recollections usually arrive just as you’ve signed yourself up for something similar, and realise too late that the gay little picnic you remembered was, in actuality, a character-testing marathon of blood, sweat and tears. An excellent example: I’ve been excited about travelling to Burma for months. In my mind, I’d conjured a montage of romantic visions of the backpacking life – sweating happily as I lope along in flip flops, battered bag slung about my shoulders and not a care in the world. Then, en route last weekend, I missed my connecting flight in Beijing. Suddenly, I’d been cruelly plunged into the harsh realities of life on the road – the cold-sweat stress of foreign airports, epic layovers, and the realisation that you’ve willingly stranded yourself thousands of miles from home. A handful of tense words with airport staff, a threatened torrent of neartears and 24 hours later, I was back on my way to Burma. And flying in over a blanket of greenery punctured by golden stupas this morning was nothing short of special. But it did not come easily. Will I ever remember that it never does?

WIFE CARRYING CHAMPS Sonkajarvi, Finland

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like us on

TRAVELNEWS

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WANTED: CRAP SNAPS

Are your photos worse than this?

Do you always end up taking blurry, horrific holiday snaps? Fear not, help is at hand. Flight Centre has launched the World’s Worst Travel Photographer competition, and they’re urging you to submit your crap snaps. Send in your photo with a caption for a Flickr gallery where viewers can vote for the best. The winners will bag prizes including photography courses, travel vouchers and a top-notch camera. At the end of the competition, shortlisted entries will be put in front of a judging panel – including journalist Simon Reeve. The only rule is they images must be travel related. Get snapping and email your photos to wwtp@flightcentre.co.uk.

FLY ME TO THE MOON Fancy going a bit further than Europe for your hols? If you’ve got a spare £100m, book on the first trip to the Moon since the Apollo 17 mission in 1972. British firm Excalibur Almaz is opening the trip to the public after buying four second-hand space capsules and two disused space stations from the Russians. The four-month flight would fly past the Moon at a distance of 1000km. But wannabe space tourists would have to be up for flying the craft themselves, as no trained astronaunts will be on board. EA owner Art Dula said: “This is not space tourism, it is real scientific expedition.” Sounds out of this world.

DANGEROUS PLACES A bucketlist of the top 12 countries not to visit has been released by Smartraveller – a website created by the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs And Trade. In alphabetical order, it kicks off with Afghanistan, followed by Central African Republic, Chad, Iraq, Libya, Mali, Niger, Somalia, South Sudan, Sudan, Syria and Yemen. The DFAT’s advice is straight to the point: Do not visit. Although, it added that it doesn’t monitor Australians’ travel abroad. Of course, you could adhere to this, or you could see this as a list of must-see places. TNT would not, of course, condone this...

SEXY & YOU KNOW IT It’s official: travelling increases your sex appeal. About 85 per cent of singles looking for love would list ‘a desire to travel’ as something they want in a prospective partner, according to a survey by Intrepid Travel. And 23 per cent of those quizzed said they went weak at the knees for an adventure seeker. More than 880 people were surveyed on Australian dating site rsvp.com.au. IT spokesman Jo Stewart said: “Travellers are generally considered curious about the world, open minded and adventurous – all of which are attractive qualities.” But, then, you knew that anyway.

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Awesome: Wales’s wild, rugged coastline

ENGLAND

Pembrokeshire WALES

WALES FISHGUARD Pembrokeshire Coast national park

CARDIFF

GETTING THERE Catch a train from London Paddington to Fishguard & Goodwick station with Arriva Trains from £39 one-way. The journey is about five-and-ahalf hours. arrivatrainswales.co.uk.

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP Stopping at St Davids, with its stunning cathedral and palace, is a must. The Sound Cafe here does good local grub and coffee. Mains from £4.70. the-sound-cafe.co.uk

The Shed in the quirky harbour of Porthgain, Is a renowned fish and chips bistro. Booking in advance is advisable as it is extremely popular. Mains from £9.50. theshedporthgain.co.uk The Farmer’s Arms in Mathry is worth the 20minute walk down the country lane from Preseli Venture Lodge. The locals will make you feel right at home. Pints from £3.15 farmersarmsmathry.co.uk

The characterful Old Point House Inn is down a bumpy track overlooking Angle Bay. It gets cut off four times a year by spring tides. Pints from £2.65. (Angle Village, SA71 5AS) Bunk down at the Old School Hostel B&B in Trefin, in the Pembrokeshire Coast National Park. It’s cheerful and green. Beds from £12pppn. theoldschoolhostel.co.uk

Try the full Welsh breakfast at the Knock Farm B&B farmhouse, nestled in a valley in Camrose. Rooms from £35pppn.

Wet and wild: coasteering is not for the faint-hearted 62

knockfarm.co.uk

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UKTRIP

Coast with the most Pack in a weekend of cliff jumping, sea kayaking and hardcore hiking on Wales’s western shoreline

Photos: preseliventure.co.uk, TNT

WORDS REBECCA KENT

Forget the bubbly skylarks, industrious miner bees, and even the high-spirited bottlenose dolphins who make a pleasure garden of the Pembrokeshire coast. There is only one creature I am developing an affinity with as I also try my darndest to relish this ‘playground’– the limpet. The conical molluscs are suction-capped in their thousands to the wavebattered limestone walls of the coast, tightening their grip with every vibration. I, too, am clinging to the jagged rock face, for a downward glance reveals the Irish sea – and it ain’t balmy down there. But, just 20 minutes into this morning’s coasteering expedition, and this here city girl has warmed to the wild water. Quickly I realise how amenable this most beautiful stretch of the British coastline is – especially when I’m bedecked in a double wetsuit, a life jacket, helmet and booties. Plus, there are two local guides to give me faith I’m not going to be a shark’s dinner today. I slide down a rocky slope, my buttocks wiping out barnacle colonies in one fell swoop, and throw myself straight into the drink, surrendering to the motion of the ocean, bouncing, tossing and turning in the washingmachine-like conditions. My fellow adventurers whoop and laugh, and I check I’m still wearing my wetsuit – just in case. Coasteering is exhilarating. You get to explore a coastline at water level, face to face with jagged rock faces, ocean caves, unspoilt gullies, plus our feathered friends that soar above and the scaly critters that lurk below. It is the most exciting, and possibly the safest, way to get intimate with the big blue. And this particular area is the talk of the travelling cognoscenti, its path part of the recently completed route tracing the country’s entire 870-mile coastline. Lonely Planet has named it the greatest region on earth. We explore that tomorrow. But for now, I’ve piled in a bus from our eco lodge in Mathry, through the countryside, to the ancient fishing village of Abercastle. It is here we find ourselves scrambling across lichen-raked rock walls, creeping through dark caves and clambering atop spongy, grasscovered cliffs. But, of course, what goes up must come down, and in this land of Welsh adventure and enterprise, where men are warriors, and the sheep are, erm, plentiful, it’s not the thrill factor that takes a southward turn, but us. One by one, we become human cannonballs, hurling

ourselves off a 15m-high rocky ledge. I keel forward and make a dramatic face-plant into the water, to the mirth of my audience. My second attempt is equally pathetic, and for my sins, I am turned away from the loftier platform, to which everyone has already graduated, in order to master the first. Attempt number three reinforces my future in face-planting. Regardless, I crawl to the higher ledge, and as my guide John whispers a disclaimer in my ear, I launch off the rock and tumble into the sea. A perfect 10. He had little faith. Bearing bruises from being bashed against rocks, we retire to the lodge to sip hot soup by a log fire. But it’s far from

“

I surrender to the motion of the ocean

”

the end of our adventures at Abercastle. By 3pm we are back in the ocean, upon sea kayaks, buffeted by powerful gusts of wind. We paddle headlong into the gale, backwards into a cave, and dabble with ‘rock hopping’, the exercise of catching a swell as it washes over rocky mounds. Miss the wave and you risk a battering. Conquer one, punching the air victoriously before first composing yourself, and there’s every chance you’ll capsize ... just as I did. Nursing aching limbs, we set off the following day for a spot of hiking, gaining a new perspective of this corner of the world as we traverse sheep fields and bluebell woods, enjoying Britain at its bucolic best. The Pembrokeshire coastal path calls for a total of 6.6 miles of ascent over its 186 miles, which is a lot of ups and downs when you consider Everest is less than six miles high. But for the chance to revel in this pleasure NEXT WEEK garden, I’ll take it. ❚ Rebecca did the Adrenalin Cocktail weekend with Preseli Venture Lodge, including two nights, six meals and station transfers. £229 preseliventure.co.uk

Wild or mild? Hit the beach at Brighton

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@tntmagazine

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Center of The Old Town Kotor 50 beds in dorms, 20 beds in privates, 30 beds in apartments

Montenegro Hostel Budva

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

Center of The Old Town Budva 25 beds in dorms, 5 beds in privates (all dorms and private rooms are ensuite)

€13 to €25 per bed All rooms have AC, free Wi-Fi, free use of kitchen & computers and much more!

www.montenegrohostel.com TEL: + 382 69 039 751 montenegrohostel@gmail.com

Photos: Thinkstock

PARIS A two-night trip to France by Eurostar is £249 with Anderson Tours (0207 4369304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes travel and transfers, guided tour and bed and breakfast. Departs June 29. MOROCCO An eight-day Adventure Morocco tour is £89 with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visit Sahara, Chigaga, Agadir, Marrakech and more. Includes some meals, four-star accommodation, guide and transfers. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by June 30, departs Aug 11. BARCELONA Two nights in a three-star hotel is £176 with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes bed and breakfast accommodation, and flights departing on July 17 from Stansted airport. AMSTERDAM Three nights in a three-star hotel is £199 with lowcostholidays.com (0871 7034240). Includes bed and breakfast accommodation and flights from Gatwick airport. Departs July 9. EGYPT A six-day Pharaohs Adventure tour of Cairo and Luxor is £149 with On The Go Tours (0207 3711113; onthegotours.com). Includes four and five-star bed and breakfast accommodation, all transport and local guide. Excludes flights. Departs Aug 7.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

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HOT TIPS: Bad weather A bit of rain may tempt to put you off shooting, but bad weather can often provide perfect conditions for spectacular images. Overcast days provide gorgeous, even lighting that brings out the details brilliant sunshine often conceals. A heavy sky offers the chance to silhouette subjects while adding a dramatic backdrop. Try a long

exposure to capture an impression of movement when photographing vegetation on windy days. A polarising filter can help to balance out a bright or flat sky to bring out the details of a cloud or the landscape. The best tip to remember is respond to the light and remain positive. You may end up getting very wet!

RUNNER-UP

WINNER SCOTTISH BEAUTY Suzanna Nagy, Hungary

WHY IT WORKS A storm is brewing beyond the hills of Gretna Green. As the dark clouds close in, menacing shadows creep over the peaks, adding a second layer of pattern to the green, mottled landscape. The hills descend into a valley not visible to the viewer. Perhaps the image is a reflection of the fear and tribulation a person feels as they elope to marry in the famous village.

RUNNER-UP ONE CLOUDY DAY Adele Puddy, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS Brighton beach has all but disappeared into the mist that has descended on the seafront in a thick white cloud. The daytrippers sit stoically on the pebbles, defiant in a determination to enjoy their afternoon at the seaside. The image’s low-contrast tone lends itself to exaggerating the opacity of the fog, bleaching out the sky and focusing attention on the patrons. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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TOP FIVE

FOOD FIGHTS

CHECKING IN

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MERINGUE WARS & CANDY FIGHT, SPAIN

Friendly and relaxed vibe

ALTERNATIVE CREATIVE YOUTH HOSTEL OVERVIEW This friendly hostel in the heart of Barcelona ticks all the right boxes: it’s clean, cosy and cheap as chips. Located in a stunning heritage building and just a stone’s throw from Barcelona’s main tourist strip, La Rambla, the Alternative Creative Youth Hostel (ACYH) boasts a communal kitchen and hangout area, a daily cleaner, free internet access, cheap laundry service, free security lockers, 24-hour reception and – importantly – no lockout or curfew. ACYH is not exactly a ‘party’ place, but you’ll quickly make friends with like-minded travellers. The welcoming staff will clue you in on the city’s best bars, restaurants and beach parties, and will organise nightly excursions for anyone who’s up for tagging along. WOW FACTOR It’s the friendly vibe and relaxed atmosphere, the lack of dickheads and the kindness of the staff that will have you returning to this hostel again and again. ROOMS Three unisex dorms with eight beds per room. BILL PLEASE Prices from £12.70pppn.

Ronda Universitat 17, entresòl-3 Barcelona alternative-barcelona.com Catalunya Metro

00 68

We’ve all heard of the La Tomatina festival in Spain, where more than 40,000 people literally paint the town red by pelting anyone and everyone with squishy, oozy fresh tomatoes. But while this year’s event on August 29 promises to be as chaotic as ever, we got to thinking about other epic food battles across the world – where playing with one’s food isn’t just encouraged, it’s required. The Spanish, in fact, don’t just throw tomatoes. There’s food-fight festival for grapes, wine, egg and flour – even goat throwing (we’re not kidding). But we think the Carnival de Vilanova i La Geltrú really takes the cake. Held annually in the beautiful sideside town, in the province of Barcelona, Spain’s sweet celebration begins on February’s ‘Fatty Thursday’, the last Thursday before Lent, with a meringue-flinging fight. Bakeries offer up free whipped-eggwhite-filled pies to the local children to use as ammunition, and trust us, nobody is safe. The food-themed fun continues over

the following days with the Batalla de Caramellos, the carnival’s Candy Wars – a sweet-tooth’s dream. About 90,000kg of food, mostly candy, but also pies and even cereal, is flung, hurled and catapulted into the streets – and at everyone in them. This sticky food warfare comes to a close with the ceremonial burial of the sardine, which is a Spanish tradition that marks the beginning of Lent and fasting. The festival is a source of pride for the town, as it began as a protest against the carnival prohibition that came into force under the Franco regime of 1936-75. After the festivities have concluded, you can swim off your new belly and toothache in the nearby stunning beachtown, Sitges. Or head into the Catalonian capital city and walk all those calories off while marvelling at Gaudi’s weird architectural creations, then dance the night away to flamenco music around Barcelona’s hotspot, La Rambla. vilanovageltru.com

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ORANGES, ITALY

Italy’s famous ‘Battle of the Oranges’ has thousands of townspeople divide into teams and pelt oranges at each other – sometimes violently! The festival is said to have originated when young girls would throw the fruit from their balcony to gain the attention of young boys they admired (gives a new meaning to a ‘crush’, doesn’t it?). The event takes place each February, 40 days before Lent, in Ivrea, north of Turnin. visititaly.com

Photos: Flickr: ACYH /CC, Getty; Thinkstock; calafellvalo

FOOD FIGHTS

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CLEAN MONDAY, GREECE

Don’t be fooled by the name, because this festival is one hell of a dirty affair. Festivalgoers fling fistfuls of dyed flour at one another in this all-out food war that marks the first day of Orthodox Lent, usually in early March. The 200-year-old tradition is held in the Greek town Galaxidi, with the sound of cowbells beginning the battle. The fight ends with many jumping in the sea to wash off, before a big night out in the town’s tavernas. galaxidigreece.com

TOP FIVE

CUSTARD PIES, UK

Not just a food fight, the Custard Pie Championship requires skill and strategy. Players earn top points by throwing a pie squarely in the face of their opponents, and lose points if they miss their target. Teams apparently come from all over the world to compete in this competition, which is in its 45th year and takes place each June in the village of Coxheath, Kent. worldcustardpiechampionship.co.uk

WASSERSCHLACHT, BERLIN

Eggs, flour and rotten fruit aren’t the only missiles flung at opponents in this food battle between Berlin districts Friedrichshain and Kruezberg. Since this Great Berlin Food Fight began in 1998 with the mission to scare, intimidate and gross-out their opponents, both teams have now upped the ante by hurling salted herring and – wait for it – even used nappies each July. Yep, you read that right. Perhaps one to miss?

NEXT WEEK Taste that!: The top five weirdest foods

visitberlin.de/en

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TRAVELTIPS

Spot the red ruffed lemur in Madagascar – but don’t rely on public transport to get you around

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If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

READERS’ TIPS

YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

though summer is coming I’m Q Even already excited about winter, having

planning to travel to Madagascar. Q I’m Besides the popular north of the

heard that 2012 is perfect for spotting the aurora borealis. Where and when should I head for the best chance to see it? I’ve already failed in Iceland twice. Anna Ptaszynska, via email

island, how difficult is it to explore central and southern Madagascar using public transport? I’m keen to include the Baobab Valley region, karst landscape and lemurs in their natural habitat. Ross, via email

there is no magic formula A Unfortunately, for seeing the northern lights. However, you

consuming. Public transport comes in the form of bush taxis (taxi-brousse), which are cheap, but also slow and unreliable. This generic term applies to any vehicle providing public transport, so you could be climbing into anything from a Peugeot to a 4WD. Passenger trains are few and far between, but worth considering if you plan to travel on any of the major routes. One solution is to hire a car and driver. It will cost you about £30 per day, but prices vary and fuel, road tolls etc are often extra. Ensure you agree all of these elements up front. It is wise to shop around. If you are pushed for time, Air Madagascar offers a number of expensive but quicker routes around the island. You have highlighted a few of the top picks in the centre and south of the island, but I would also suggest you head to Andavadoaka on the south-west coast to dive the Great Reef here. This coastal resort has limited infrastructure, but fulfils essential tourist needs with beach bungalows and a pizza restaurant. It is a great spot for diving with turtles and reef sharks and learning about marine conservation.

AMSTERDAMAGE On a visit to Amsterdam, I definitely recommend taking a shitty old phone and leaving your smartphone at home – especially if you’re on a stag do or the like. It’s not called ‘Amsterdamage’ for nothing. In fact, you’ll be lucky if it’s only your phone you lose. Ricky, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

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Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

are right that 2012 is a great year to spot the aurora borealis, so now is a better time than ever to take a trip to the Arctic Circle. Northern Norway is at the centre of the northern lights zone. Tromsø has frequent sightings between the end of November and March, and is also a great location to base yourself, as the city has things going on even in the darkest depths of winter. I would recommend opting for a few days in accommodation outside the city, away from light pollution. This will help ensure that, if you do spot the lights, you’ll have the best view. It is also wise to plan in a few activities unrelated to the lights in case you are really unlucky and fail to see them again. The incredibly popular Hurtigruten cruise stops in Trosmø. Alternatively, Rovaniemi in northern Finland is a great spot for a winter break. It’s also claimed to be the home of Santa Claus, complete with grotto and post office! You can’t reach Rovaniemi direct from the UK, but you can fly via Helsinki from Heathrow with Finnair. Or fly into Helsinki and hop on the overnight train.

around Madagascar by public A Getting transport is not impossible, but it is time

TAXI TIPS FROM SE ASIA TIP In SE Asia, be suspicious of OF THE taxi/ tuk-tuk drivers who WEEK tell you a place is closed. Chances are they’re just trying to take you for a ride and charge you the fare. And don’t ask a taxi driver for directions. If you’re unsure, ask someone in a shop or restaurant that you’re buying something from (even something as simple as a bottle of water) as they’re most likely to tell you, without expecting a tip in return. Paul Broomfield, via email

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A FIESTAVALS TOUR TO PAMPLONA FOR TWO TNT and Fiestavals have teamed up to give one lucky reader a six-day San Fermin experience for two people (valued at £598). The tour departs from London on July 4, and includes luxury coach transfers to Spain, four nights’ camping accommodation at Camping Ezcaba, full English Breakfast each day, free shuttles to & from the campsite to Pamplona, a super San Sebastian optional day trip, and your experienced Fiestavals crew with you every step of the way. Plus, we will offer our fabulous Fiestavals freebies. This is a tour that will leave you feeling good!

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

BLUE LAGOON, ICELAND Richard Collins, from New Zealand

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

AGNES CHOO, 35

TRACEY WHITE, 22

Angmoki, Singapore

Ash Vale, England

BEST I’m from Singapore, and I love the cold weather in London this summer. I bought my first scarf here!

Scariest travel experience? I went to Ibiza one summer with a friend and only lasted three days. She said she had found a house and jobs for us. But when we got there, the house was a hostel with blood on the walls and we didn’t have any jobs. I just slept at the airport until I could find a cheap flight home. I always pack ... Too much. I had to pay £130 at the airport for my extra luggage. I think it’s because I always bring too much underwear.

WORST When I was travelling around Rome, it felt like home because the food was fresh and filling, but it made me so homesick. Throughout the entire trip I was torn between staying and going home.

» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: TNT

MUSTIQUE MINI-CASTLE For a luxurious group stay, a mini-castle (complete with its own mini-turret) on Mustique more than fits the bill, with its panoramic views of the Caribbean Sea. Seven nights at Greystone Cottage is £2170pp, based on six sharing, with Private Label Worldwide (01628 771171; privatelabelww.com). Includes flights, transfers, use of a vehicle and three staff.

THE INSIDER

CASEY MEAD PR & comms manager G Adventures

My first big trip was a road trip across the US. I’ve always been a bit in love with America, and seeing so much of the country in one go was a dream come true. My most challenging travel experience was trying to communicate/ gesticulate “boat to the Summer Palace” to a taxi driver in Beijing. He dropped me off at the zoo. My favourite place in the world is Wharariki Point back home in New Zealand, where the top of the South Island meets the West Coast. You’d swear no other soul had ever stepped foot on that beach. The next trip on my travel wishlist is Jordan. I recently went to an exhibition at the Royal Geographic Society about the rediscovery of Petra and have been excited about visiting ever since. And I’m sure you can’t beat floating in the Dead Sea! My guilty travel pleasure is collecting fridge magnets. Tacky, but true. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The white isle: enjoy the miles of beaches [Caption]

Ibiza IBIZA

EUROPE

San Antonia

GETTING THERE Fly easyJet from London Gatwick from ÂŁ84.99 one way. Flight time is about 2 hours, 25 minutes easyjet.com

IBIZA TOWN

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SHORTBREAK

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A tale of two holidays Our resident Ibiza expert reveals why the white isle offers a Jekyll and Hyde holiday, from the superclubs to the super-chill WORDS CATHERINE BENNION-PEDLEY

Dressing in a lion suit and pulling dubious dance moves while in an abandoned zoo’s penguin enclosure is a summer memory not everyone will be able to boast they have. But go to Ibiza and you’ll get it. The now infamous Zoo Project, just outside San Antonio, is one of the best parties on the island. And it’s the most surreal, fun night out Ibiza offers. Ride their Noah’s Ark (aka booze cruise) to get there, then rave on down in the seal pit all night. But while I might be an Ibiza expert – I go out there every summer as part of my job as a writer – believe it or not, I’m not a huge clubber. For me, the mix between party hub and chill-out central makes it an island for everyone.

Superclubs Of course, clubbing in Ibiza is clearly world-class. Whether you head to the more commercial, less electronic dance of Ibiza Rocks (this year’s line-up includes Kaiser Chiefs, Tinie Tempah, Ed Sheeran and Katy B) or one of the superclubs, you need to enjoy at least one night dancing until dawn – or you’ve wasted your plane ticket. True, the Ibiza superclubs are expensive. We’re talking the equivalent of £40-£56 just to get in, and about £11 for a vodka mixer at the bar. If you’re going to pick one, make it Space on a Sunday, in Playa De Bossa. One of the world’s most revered clubs, you’ll hear the beats blasting out from the balcony and catching on the air from way down the road, from late afternoon onwards. Everyone remembers their first Space experience. It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but with 12,000 clubbers packed inside, and 40 DJs a night doing their thing, it’s like a whole other world. Dotted among the crowd are dancers adorned in robot masks, their bodies doused in metallic body paint, towering above the crowds on stilts. Expect to dodge quite a few gurners who try to make conversation, but succeed in little more than dribbling down their T-shirts. For Ibiza virgins, there are two main towns you need to get yourself acquainted with – San Antonio and Ibiza Town. San An is a place less civilised. Expect more student-like travellers here or stag and hen dos. Having said that, a drink at legendary bars Café Del Mar and Café Mambo while the DJs do their thing on the seafront as the sun sets is an absolute must.

Super-chill For a chilled vibe and a touch of culture, you want to spend most of your time in Ibiza Town. D’Alt Vila is the old walled town and a Unesco World Heritage Site since 1999. Wander to the top for spectacular views of the harbour and authentic little restaurants hidden down narrow streets. And Ibiza isn’t nicknamed ‘the white isle’ for nothing. The beaches are pretty special, especially considering you’re only in the Med. Try Las Salinas, a breathtaking 1.5km of

“

Dance until dawn – or your ticket’s wasted

”

gorgeousness, scattered with beach restaurants. You can easily dream a day or three away surrounded by glamorous folk. Walk towards the watchtower to explore the small ››

Robot nation: party at Space TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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coves and take a picnic. Or head to the forest in San Lorenzo for a barbecue. To really see another side to Ibiza, head north or inland to relax, leave the fancy dress behind and feel a little more sophisticated. It’s crazily beautiful – think pine forests and olive groves and white-washed hilltop villages. Here, you’ll find yoga retreats and incredible diving sites. Or jump on a horse and canter through the forests with riding schools, such as North Ride Ibiza. You can even wade into the sea on horseback or take a weekend excursion; both are guaranteed to clear any hangovers. Yes, it’s in the north that you’ll feel a million miles away from those laserlights, as though you’ve found the secret Ibiza that no one else knows about. Away from the superstar DJs, promo girls, bassline beats and people dressed as lions there’s a hell of a lot more to explore than the dancefloor. Want two holidays in one? You’ve got it. ❚ More on Zoo Project at channelzoo.com More on Ibiza Rocks at ibizarocks.com More on North Ride Ibiza at north-ride-ibiza.com

Horses for courses: ride along the beach

NEXT WEEK Wild Poland: tracking bison and wolf packs

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

Ask locals to direct you to the Talamanca fish shack on the rocks past Sa Punta – it’s special and awesome value. For an easier find, try Comidas San Joan. Simple Mediterranean home-cooking and family-run. Three courses for €15 (£12) and delicious calamari. (Carrer Montgri 8, 07800 Ibiza Town, tel. +34 971 311603)

Set perched upon a cliff in a beautiful cove of Sol D’en Serra bay, Amante’s view alone makes it worth a visit for a long lunch, followed by some serious chilling on their beautiful day beds. It’s got a menu you’ll struggle to narrow down, too. Mains from €16.50 (about £13). amanteibiza.com

Head to Lio – Pacha’s Cabaret Restaurant. It’s pricey – starters are from €32 (about £26) – but it offers views over the floodlit Old Town. You’ll be surrounded by super yachts, a swimming pool, candlelit décor and a Japanese-inspired menu. And it’s the place to be seen. lioibiza.com.

DRINK

Trying to find a cheap bar in Ibiza is tricky. But local favourite Bon Lloc will serve you up a good beer with a smile for just a few euros. (Nuestra Señora de Jesus Road 07819, tel. +34 971 311 813).

A gorgeous beach hangout that is handily a stone’s throw from Space, at Sands a bottle of wine is €15 (about £12) or glug their amazing White Sangria for about €10 (£8) a jug. Plus there’s always a party. sandsibiza.com

Sip cocktails under the stars in Aura’s serene garden to the sound of chilled beats, with the likes of Kylie, Sienna Miller and island regular James Blunt, if you’re lucky. Cocktails such as The Nutty Professor start from €12 (about £9). auraibiza.com.

SLEEP

Cheap and basic Ibiza Rocks Hostel offers five nights and two gigs from €90pp (about £73), based on you sharing a three-person apartment. ibizarocks.com

Only a year old and one of the coolest places to stay, with a huge stage by the pool, swim-up rooms, and a champagne buffet breakfast, Ushuaia Beach Hotel is heaven. Rooms from €150pn (about £121). ushuaiabeachhotel.com

Nestled in an orange grove with fountains, a spa and a huge pool, Atzaro is the ultimate place to chill. Doubles from €295pn (£239). atzaro.com. Or try Hacienda, where rooms have private Jacuzzis. Bliss. Doubles from €300pn (£243). hotelhacienda-ibiza.com

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; Catherine Bennion-Pedley

BUDGET

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For the Real Ibiza Boating Experience CALL TODAY Rinker Sports Rinker Sports Bowrider Capacity: 9 plus captain (18 with Tandem Hire) Our most popular Ibiza boat for groups of up to 9 guests wanting to experience an unforgettable day in Ibiza.

info@boatsibiza.com Mobile Ibiza: +34 663 745 520 UK Direct: +44 7822 196 442

This spacious 26ft Rinker Bowrider watersports / speed boat offers power and comfort with room for 9 guests. Relax on the the large aft sun lounger or cool off in the sea from the swim platform. This is our most popular speed boat and is perfect for relaxing and for the more adventurous who enjoy or would like to try water skiing, wake-boarding or more fun in the warm Ibizan seas. The Rinker Speed boat also has a semi circular lounge cockpit with extended sunshade and open seated bow for 4, allowing you to ‘ride the waves’. Built to American standards for 12 people, the stringent European law limits the capacity to 9 guests plus captain, giving you plenty of space to relax aboard this superb sports boat.

Full day Hire starts from €695 inc.2 hrs fuel (7 Hours)

Sunseeker Camargue

boatsibiza.com

Capacity: 12 guests plus captain Our most popular Ibiza boat package for groups of up to 12 guests wanting to experience an unforgettable day in Ibiza. This impressive Sunseeker Camargue is the ultimate choice for space and comfort. Offering an overall length of 47ft, while also benefiting from the 13ft beam, makes this perfectly proportioned for a days cruising.

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

In Bruges This is Bruges in 48 hours WORDS KELLY GRIFFIN

DAY 1: 09:00 Begin in the heart of medieval Bruges at the Unesco World Heritage Site Grote Markt, which has been the city’s commercial centre for more than 1000 years. Instantly you’ll be hit by the charm of the old-world cobbled streets and centuries-old buildings, as well as the quaint little chocolate shops and cute cafes. 10:00 It’s well worth the slug up 366 steps to the top of the Belfry Tower (Markt 7) to see the breathtaking view of Bruges, as well as the surrounding countryside. On your way up (83 metres, mind you), catch your breath by stopping off to inspect the bell tower’s impressive clockwork mechanism, the treasury, and the 16th-century carillon, a keyboard instrument used to ring the 47 bells. 11:00 A short stroll down Breidelstraat St will lead you to the smaller, but prettier, Burg square. Here you will find the Basilica church and the Chapel of the Holy Blood (holyblood.org). While the basilica’s 12th- and 16th-century architecture is certainly impressive, it’s the chapel that most people come to see as it’s said to house a vial containing the actual blood of Jesus Christ. 12:30 A few streets off the main tourist drag, shop for lunch lunch at the Dell’ Arte (dellartebrugge.be), a cosy and affordable brasserie with an excellent selection of Belgian specialities including mussels and fish soup. 13:30 Explore the tranquil surrounds of the Begijnhof/ Beguinages (Wijngaardstraat), a walled community that once housed a Catholic order of women. In springtime, this is a definite must as the 13th-century whitewashed cottages are surrounded by a carpet of daffodils, creating 78

a staggeringly beautiful scene and definite photo opp. Continue your stroll through the picturesque Minnewater (Lake of Love) park and visit the Church of Our Lady (Mary Street) to admire the Michelangelo inside, the only known statue of the great artist outside of Italy. 17:00 By now, you’ve well and truly deserved a sit down, so take a seat on one of the canal boat tours (departing from various jetties, south of Burg). Bruges by boat is one of the best and certainly most relaxing ways to view the city’s monuments and historical buildings. And, as the canals go where the roads do not, you’ll gain a perspective of the city you wouldn’t see otherwise. Although there are five tour companies to choose from, the route and price is much the same. 19:00 Beer is taken as seriously as food in Bruges, and while Cambrinus (Philipstockstraat 19) offers scrumptious and hearty dishes, it’s the range of more than 440 Belgian beers that makes this restaurant so popular. Best to book ahead. 21:30 With the night still young, head to bar De Republiek (derepubliek.be), for beers, cocktails and DJs. DAY 2: 10:00 After a booze-filled night, you’re going to need a good, strong coffee, and Délisa ‘Délices & Saveurs (Jan van Eyckplein 7) offers the best in town. Just a short walk from the Markt, the coffee is cheap and from an actual espresso machine. 10:30 Belgium is famous for its frites, and a visit to the world’s only fries museum, Frietmuseum (frietmuseum. be/en/), promises a fun-fillfed hour or two. Housed in one of the city’s oldest buildings, which dates back to 1399, this

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three-storey ode to the frite explores everything from the history of the spud to the representation of Belgian fries in art, music and film. Opened in 2008, it’s run by local Eddy Van Bella, who also runs the chocolate and the lamp museums, which holds his 6500-strong lamp collection. 12:00 Take a 45-minute tour of the small family-run Half Moon Brewery (halvemaan.be), which has been active since 1856 and is the only working brewery left in central Bruges. With low ceilings and steep staircases, make your way to the rooftop terrace, where you’ll be rewarded with panoramic views and a complimentary beverage from the brewery. The lunch here is superb. 14:00 Next, immerse yourself in the surreal mind of the great Spanish artist Salvador Dali at Museum-Gallery Xpo: Salvador Dalí, Marquis de Púbol (dali-interart. be). This permanent collection includes outstanding watercolours, drawings, sculptures and famous works of graphic art by the eccentric artist. Dali aficionado Barron Saint Mythelfinger has transformed the medieval hall into a Dalinian showroom in garish gold, mother-of-pearl and pink. Unmissable for art lovers. 17:00 End your trip on a sugar high by sampling the waffles at Laurenzino (Noordzandstraat 1). The only question left is: chocolate or Nutella?

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Kerala INDIA

PAKISTAN NEW DELHI

INDIA

GETTING THERE Fly from London Heathrow to Trivandrum, via Delhi, with Air India from ÂŁ515 return. Note that Trivandrum is short for the impressively unpronouncable Thiruvananthapuram. airindia.in

Kerala Trivandrum

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God’s own country A peaceful paradise of winding backwaters and tea plantations, this southern state couldn’t be more different to the rest of India WORDS CAROLINE EDEN

WHEN TO GO: The best time to visit Kerala is winter, between early on the back of an orange pick-up by his Touching down in green and serene Kerala, November and early February, when mahout (master). after battling it out elsewhere in India, is it’s not too hot and the monsoon a bit like passing through an invisible curtain Finally, and excitedly, I board the thatched rains have let up. to another world. Suddenly, all five senses houseboat from the town of Allepey. It has are relieved from blasting car horns, the been built in the style of a kettuvalam, or CURRENCY: £1 = INR86.27 pungent whiff of shit and sandalwood and rice barge. These were once used to transport (Indian rupee). ever-present touts. Instead, there’s a perfect grain, but now to carry an altogether more ACCOMMODATION: Stay mix and match of chill-out beaches and profitable cargo – sunbathing tourists. at Green Woods Bethlehem in picturesque rice paddies. We set off slowly, cruising just a small Fort Cochin for about £5pppn and The pace of life switches down several stretch of the 999km of backwaters that the nicest hosts you’ll ever meet. notches and demands an exhalation of breath (Kurisingal 11/236A). Try Dew stream inland from the warm Arabian Sea. and a slacken of step. Drops, set on a spice plantation, for Lying back in the sun, I watch kingfishers fly The difference doesn’t only lie in the past, fish leap out of the water, and the odd a treat in Munnar, at about £20pn. scenery. In Kerala, 19 per cent of the sea snake sidle by. Often compared to the munnardewdrops.com population are Christian – many lower castes American ‘bayou’, the Keralan backwaters Basic beach hut-style rooms in were converted by Portuguese and Dutch are a maze of complex waterways that have Varkala from about £5pppn here: traders between the 16th and 19th centuries a distinctly brackish scent and are rich with keralabamboohouse.com – so bright-white churches stand alongside wildlife. They can also be disappointingly mosques and temples. (Thanks also to its bountiful natural touristy in places. beauty, Kerala is known as ‘god’s own country’.) Also, few While it’s brilliant that the boats are open on at least people in Kerala speak Hindi, so there’s a different language three sides – perfect for photographing village life – it also to grapple with, Malayalam – even the name of which is becomes quickly apparent just how busy the waterways are. tongue-twistingly tricky. At any one time, there are a whopping 2000 kettuvallams plying the backwaters. This results in an occasional watery Keralan backwaters traffic jam. With all this in mind, I’m surprised to see the roads deserted To keep passengers fed and watered, women hawk raw a day after I arrive. An empty street anywhere in India is king prawns from pink plastic buckets – that the onboard a strange sight indeed. A newspaper reports a 24-hour chef will cook up – and men wave Mango Munch ice lollies ‘worker’s strike’ is underway and that all of India is at as they row by. a standstill. Roads are blocked by protesters, and nearly Kerala is the most educated and least corrupt state in all shops are closed. India, but is also home to the largest number of heavy I sit patiently as the hours pass, hopping to my houseboat drinkers. Fittingly, the salty captain leans back from the in time for an overnight cruise on the famous backwaters helm and points up to a large palm tree. “Toddy tapper!” – a quintessentially Keralan experience. he shouts. I squint into the sun, and can just make out a man Suddenly, Abilaish, my guide, runs towards me, waving up a tree. The captain makes the universal sign for drinking a sheet of paper. I examine him quizzically as he tapes it to and then makes a thumbs up. the top left of the window screen. On it reads: ‘VIP – Airport The man up the tree is “collecting the sap,” which will Urgent.’ Looking extremely pleased with himself, he ferment into a popular head-banging palm wine, drunk in announces: “This, madam, will do the job. Now we go!” vast quantities in Kerala. Toddy is so popular, it’s got its We zip along Highway 47 pausing only to photograph own subdivision in the labour department, which employs ›› a male elephant with foot-long tusks being transported a staggering 50,000 people. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise from top left: preparing for Kerala’s kathakali; Munnar tea plantations; unusual cargo; Chinese fishing nets in Fort Cochin That night the cook whips up an excellent grilled fish curry, and as the countryside falls black, I am distracted only by the hum of the insects forcing me to continually spray ‘Mozz-Off’ repellent liberally on to my limbs. Munnar The next day, in order to escape the heat of the plains, I head to the hill station of Munnar, famous for its emerald tea plantations. We’ve almost completed the uphill, five-hour drive from Allepey when I realise that at the edge of almost every hairpin bend, there is a little concrete hut with the word ‘toddy’ clearly painted in thick black letters on the wall. I consider it for a moment, then say to Saji, the driver: “Stop here, please. Ek (one) minute!” “Madam, it is not for ladies,” Saji says, pointing at the rough rickshaw drivers queuing for a hit and some cheap grub. “I’ll be fine, back soon,” I reply. I stroll into the spit and sawdust ‘bar’, like the outlaw in a Western. The toddy-sipping men fall silent and stare. I ignore them and slip a hundred rupee note over the counter and receive a grubby glass of milky liquid in return. I knock it back. It’s sweet, yeasty and slightly musky, and burns my throat as a couple of pieces of coconut husk catch in my back teeth. Saji laughs at me as I get back into the car. I’m woozy, but from the heat more than the drink, and 10 minutes later, I’m fast asleep. Coming round, I see that the last few bendy roads to Munnar are strewn with flowers, but that the town itself is a cloudy and uninspiring time warp. I decide to stay a few kilometres further down the road, at British County, a pretty guesthouse. Painted blue, there are rattan chairs on a large balcony, 82

and I plonk myself down to soak up the views of the misty Sayha mountains and the bright green tea plantations, watching for the odd brightly dressed woman inevitably balancing a huge bag of tea on her head. It’s blissful, and Rajeet the guesthouse manager proves an excellent cook. For lunch and dinner, I tuck into spicy tomato stews, beetroot curries, super-sweet pineapple and fresh juices.

Bucket list: take a rice barge on the backwaters

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The next morning, heralded by much trumpeting, I cross the road to ‘Dreamland Spices’ to try an elephant ride. Ganga is female, 28 years old and appears to be suffering from wind. I heave myself gently on to her back and pat the thick spiky hair on her massive grey head, which is covered in morning dew. The mahout gives her a tap and we’re plodding gently through curious fruit shrubs and spices with names such as ‘cough potato’, ‘rough lemon’. Elephant farts aside, it’s a perfect start to the day and I end it with a teethshatteringly sweet ginger tea at a little café nearby. Fort Cochin Upon leaving Munnar, I choose to finish my Keralan adventure in Fort Cochin, which I had heard nabs perfect scores for its shopping, bohemian vibe and bright-andbreezy seashore. It also boasts a 500-year-old colonial

“

The toddy is sweet, yeasty and a bit musky

Rajeet Mayilita

”

history, resulting in some curious, photogenic architecture. I rise early to watch the huge Chinese fishing nets being hauled at 8am and then spend the rest of my day in the excellent Indigo bookshop – where bookworms can quite easily send their credit cards into meltdown. Keen for a final dose of cultural immersion, I head to the Greenix centre, just after sunset, to take in a traditional theatrical Kathakali show. Based on the Hindu epics, Kathakali performances have been staged for hundreds of years and are a must-do in Kerala. I arrive early and grab a premium seat in the front row, from where I watch a rather rotund man, fat like Buddha, having his face painstakingly painted an apple green. Soon, the lights are dimmed and the man reappears in full costume, complete with huge headdress. The audience erupts into laughter as the performers display emotions ››

The Insider's guide Rajeet Mayilita is the manager of the British County Guesthouse in Munnar. What’s Kerala’s best-kept secret? The trance-like theyyam ritual folk dances. Everyone comes to Kerala and goes to a Kathakali show, but in the north of Kerala you can watch an authentic ritual that’s not put on for tourists. Theyyam performers wear huge headdresses and fans who watch the show believe that the artist actually becomes the god that he’s enacting. You have to seek them out as they’re not advertised – local guesthouses will know where’s best to head to and when. What’s your top tip for Kerala? Visitors must try a traditional Keralan breakfast. Normally, this is idiyappam (rice noodles with a coconut milk dressing), steamed bananas, idli (a round, white rice cake with green chillis) or a dosa (savoury crepe stuffed with veggies). In Kerala, nearly everything is cooked in coconut oil, so food is much lighter, and slightly sweeter, than in the north. Where’s best to chill out? Kannur, definitely, in northern Kerala, and the beaches of Udma and Bekal, where you can explore the fort when not at the beach. There’s also a history of weaving here, so some low-key shopping can be had too. A few new big resorts aside, it is far less touristy than southern Kerala and has an undiscovered feel. Where’s good for adventure? Munnar, naturally! In the mountains here, you can trek and do some good overnight wilderness trips sleeping in forest huts. Further afield, Chinnar Wildlife Sanctuary (55km from Munnar) also has trekking and tree house accommodation – there you might see some giant squirrels, elephants and if you’re really lucky, a leopard.

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such as ‘love’, ‘fear’ and ‘disgust’ with semi-comical facial movements. The show is over in a flash and happy tourists pile into tuk-tuks headed for the seafood restaurants nearby. In search of a drink, I manage to get some froth into my glass at the dimly lit XL bar. It is one of the few taverns in Fort Cochin and as a result is heaving with thirsty travellers. Nursing my Kingfisher, I conclude that I understand why the mere mention of the word ‘Kerala’ is enough to send many an Indian misty-eyed. Sure it’s touristy, but this coastal state still packs a punch. It may be known as ‘god’s own country’ but also somehow manages to hit all the right notes for travellers, and locals, alike. ❚ Caroline travelled with Intrepid Travel, which offers a five-day short break in Kerala from £252pp twin share (£395pp single room), including two nights in a hotel, one night homestay and one night on a houseboat. Includes some meals, walking tours, sunset cruise, Kathakali dance show and cruise on the backwaters. Intrepid Travel can also arrange flights intrepidtravel.com

Top to bottom: common sights around Kerala include tea picking, bright-white churches, houseboats on the waterways and rice paddies

Varkala

BEST OF THE REST MUST-SEES OF THE STATE NORTHERN KERALA Little-visited Bekal is fast becoming the sugar-sand beach to hang out at. Currently, there are a handful of places to stay, so go now, before the area is overdeveloped. You can also enjoy a backwater cruise here – Bekal Boat Stay offers overnight trips as well as more economical sunset cruises. An overnight for up to four people on the boat costs approximately £100. See: bekalboatstay.com Photos: Caroline Eden, Getty, Thinkstock

VARKALA Kerala’s most backpacker-friendly beach resort, Varkala is a great place to lose a few days. There’s a Goan vibe here with stalls selling the usual traveller trinkets and cafes playing Bob Marley’s ubiquitous tunes. Good, cheap accommodation (about £10pppn) is easy to find. Stay at friendly Jicky’s, which has rooms and cottages from (£5.50-£25pn). See: jickys.com THE ‘HUGGING MOTHER’ GURU Matha Amrithanadamayi (or ‘Amma’ for short) is a female guru who specialises in the art of hugging. Those who have queued to be cuddled by Amma report a warm glow, with some finding the experience life-changing. At 5pm each day there’s a tour, or if you’re really keen, you can apply to stay overnight for a mere £2pn. See: amritapuri.org

NEXT WEEK Iceland: Rev up for a trip to Europe’s new adventure capital

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ild/tnt www.topdeck.travel/w

call of

the wild!

20% OFF

Africa with Topdeck? Here are 5 reasons why!

All Africa Trips Book by 30 June!

20 amazing itineraries from 7 to 58 days

S! Y A D LAST RY! HUR

Small group sizes and EVERYONE is aged 18 to 39 National Park stays across Africa Spacious 2 person dome tents including foam mattresses

EGYPT

& MIDDLE EAST

www.topdeck.travel/egypt/tnt

UP TO

15% OFF

14 DAY Egypt Explored Dep. 15 Jul 2012

WAS £630 NOW

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£560

Includes US$270 local payment

10 DAY Moroccan Explorer Dep. 24 Aug 2012

NOW

WAS £605

£530

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WINNEeR Favourit M iddle East Operator A s voted by you!

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TNT_1504_travel.indd 96

CALL 0845 257 5210

Dep. 18 Aug 2012

WAS £970 NOW

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9 DAY Jordan & Israel

£850

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* 3 w f t s

Open 8am-9pm

22/6/12 11:18:20

4 DAY

Oktoberfest

ll wee ke n d s

L a st sea t H U R RY! s

Make your own way Camping

Edinburgh fringe festival & tattoo

21 - 24 Sep, 28 Sep - 1 Oct, 4 - 7 Oct

FROM

£109

4 DAYS Edinburgh Fringe Festival & Tattoo

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Central hostel multi-share 24 -27 August 2012

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ONLY

21-25 Sep, 28 Sep-2 Oct, 4-8 Oct

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£279

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www.topdeck.travel/fringe/tnt

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24-27 August 2012

24 -27 August 2012

ONLY

£249

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Camping

Make the most of the Summer Bank Holiday!

20 -25 Sep, 27 Sep-2 Oct, 3-8 Oct

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FROM

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14 DAY European Wonder

28 DAY Grand European

WAS £1145

WAS £2010 NOW

www.topdeck.travel/oktoberfest/tnt

NOW

EUROPE 20% OFF!

21-27 Sep, 28 Sep - 4 Oct, 3 -9 Oct

Our campsite atmosphere is second to none. All Oktoberfest camping trips include a fully cooked breakfast, plus transport between the campsite & the beer halls.

Dep. 19 Jul 2012 Includes Swiss Alps, Rome, Venice, Amsterdam, plus more!

£955

Dep. 21 Aug 2012 Includes Paris, Florence, Pag Island, Prague, plus more!

£1675

Includes £195 food fund

Includes £350 food fund

22 DAY Europe Unplugged

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Dep. 19 & 26 Jul 2012 Includes French Riviera, Vienna, Munich, Amsterdam, plus more!

NOW

WAS £1280

£1070

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Dep. 5 Aug 2012 Includes Paris, Barcelona, Sailing in Greece, Dubrovnik, plus more!

WAS £2145 NOW

August Bank Holiday

of the B u

C losi n g

TRAVEL

FESTIVALS

& SHORT BREAKS

PAMPLO N

R u n n ing

£1809

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www.topdeck.travel/europe/tnt

*Africa Promotion: Valid for new bookings only made 01/06/2012 to 30/06/2012 for travel between 15/10/2012 and 30/06/2013. Topdeck reserves the right to withdraw this offer at any time. For full terms and conditions of travelling with Topdeck please see our website at www.topdeck.travel/wild20 *Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for speciﬁc departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency ﬂuctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

TNT_1504_travel.indd 97

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

22/6/12 11:18:33

awesome europe explore europe 2012 `M O FR

twin and double hotels all the way! EUROPE escape 12 DAYS

9 4 £6 9 9 £7 9 9 £ 10 9 9 0 £1

7 COUNTRIES: ND, GERMANY, FRANCE, SWITZERLA

ITALY NETHERLANDS, VATICAN CITY, & BELGIUM d of £99 * Excludes compulsory food fun

M O FR

9 COUNTRIES: ITALY, VATICAN CITY,

FRANCE,MONACO, GERMANY, SWITZERLAND, NETHERLANDS, BELGIUM & SPAIN

13 COUNTRIES: ND, ITALY, VATICAN CITY, GREECE, FRANCE, SWITZERLA PUBLIC, 9 * Excludes compulsory food of £16

TS DEPARRDAM! AMSTE

£ TS DEPARON! LOND

ULTIMIEAS:TE EUROPE 26 DAYS 16 COUNTR ERLAND, ITALY, VATICAN CITY, SLOVENIA, FRANCE, SWITZ PUBLIC, NETHERLANDS,

ECH RE AUSTRIA, SLOVAKIA, CZ , SPAIN, MONACO, BELGIUM, RG OU MB XE LU IN, TE NS TE CH LIE HUNGARY & GERMANY 9 * Excludes compulsory food of £16

TS DEPARON! D LON

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Book early to get the cheapest prices and guarantee your dates! TNT_1504_travel.indd 98

3 £5

bEST OF EUROPE 22 DAYS , CZECH RE SLOVENIA, AUSTRIA, SLOVAKIA & THE NETHERLANDS Y AR NG HU GERMANY, BELGIUM,

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M O R F

no camping or sleeping bags needed on these tours! EUROPEAN BLITZ 10 DAYS

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M O R F

N 15 DAYS EUROPEAN EXPEDLAITNDIO , GERMANY,

TS DEPARRDAM! AMSTE

7 COUNTRIES: FRANCE, SWITZER LY & BELGIUM ITA NETHERLANDS, VATICAN CITY,

d of £79 * Excludes compulsory food fun

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TS DEPARON! D LON

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d of * Excludes compulsory food fun

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TS DEPARE! ROM

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M O FR

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12 DAYS TS DEPARON! D LON

4 COUNTRIES: FRANCE, SPAIN, ITALY & VATICAN CITY

d of £69 * Excludes compulsory food fun

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TNT_1504_travel.indd 99

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•£

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TRAVEL

SAVE 60 40 30

COMPASS BUSTER DAYS (WED) £415 NOW £355 (STUDENTS NOW £335) Orkney, Western Isles, Isle of Skye & Loch Ness

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GIANT’S ROCKER 5 DAYS (Wed) WAS £215 NOW £175 (Students Now £165) GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY, DERRY & BELFAST Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

WAS £315 NOW £255 (Students Now £239) BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY & BELFAST

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WAS £125 NOW £95 (Students Now £89) Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

WAS £215 NOW £175 (Students Now £165)

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BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, KILLARNEY, INIS MÓR/CONNEMARA

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WWW.SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM TNTMAGAZINE.COM 101

TNT_1504_travel.indd 101

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TRAVEL

Eastern Europe Treks 10% * OFF

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£59

£56

£47

£50

SAVE UP TO

Bohemian Trek

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7 DAYS (May-Sep) FROM £449

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INCLUSIONS: 6 nights accommodation and breakfasts, orientation walk of Ljubljana, Salzburg, Cesky Krumlov and Prague

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INCLUSIONS:

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Bohemian

* Valid on 2012 bookings. Book by 8 July. Enter promocode ‘getaway’

FOR ALL OUR TREKS THAT START OR FINISH IN SPLIT CHECK OUT CROATIA SAILING TRIPS

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Get amongst it! With the African specialists Absolute Africa 30 years overlanding in Africa

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www.absoluteafrica.com Phone: 0208 742 0226 Email: absaf@absoluteafrica.com 102 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TNT_1504_travel.indd 102

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TRAVEL

OKTOBERFEST

LA TOMATINA THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT! ■ Ibiza + La Tom Combos pre or post-La Tom ■ Barca + Ibiza + La Tom 23-30 AUG ■ Barca + La Tomatina 25-30 AUG ■ 4 Days Beach Camping 27-30 AUG ■ 4 Days Valencia Hostel 27-30 AUG ■ 3 Days Valencia Hotel 28-30 AUG

fr£379 £469 £259 £149 fr£189 £179

PALIO SIENA ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL ■ Hostel Package 14-17 AUG £149 ✔ Florence ✔ Pisa ✔ Siena ✔ Coach transfers

■ All Italia Rome to Pisa ■ Palio to La Tom Odyssey

13-22 AUG 13-30 AUG

£529 £989

CROATIA CATEGORY A & A+ BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! JUN-SEP fr£439 ■ 7 NIGHTS WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Korcula ✔ Vela Luca ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac ■ CAT A+: JUN £439 JUL fr£519 AUG fr£479 SEP £499 ■ CAT A: JUL fr£469 AUG fr£449 GREEK

ISLANDS

GREEK ISLANDS

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CIAO ITALIA CHECK OUT THE BEST ITALY HAS TO OFFER! ■ 7 Days JUL-AUG £349 ✔ Weekly departures ✔ Express train travel ✔ Rome ✔ Florence ✔ Cinque Terre ✔ Pisa ✔ Venice ✔ Milan

BEERFEST IN MUNICH! 21 SEP-8 OCT Choice of Munich’s BEST hostels, hotel & #1 party campsite! ■ Prague + Buda Fest 8 Days fr£329 ✔ Prague ✔ Budapest ✔ Salzburg / Vienna Thu-Tue fr£219 ■ 6 Days Coach Tours ✔ Return coach from London ✔ Camping or hostel Fri-Mon fr£129 ■ 4 Days Camping ✔ Twin or single tents ✔ Coach shuttles Fri-Mon fr£179 ■ 4 Days Hostel ✔ Choice of Munich’s top hostels Fri-Mon £329 ■ 4 Days Hotel ✔ Munich’s #1 Oktoberfest hotel! Mid week camping & hostel options also available fr£99!

RUGBY UNION WALLABIES & ALL BLACKS COME TO EUROPE THIS NOVEMBER ■ AUS v FRANCE Paris SAT 10 NOV ■ AUS v ENGLAND Twickenham SAT 17 NOV ■ AUS v ITALY Italy SAT 24 NOV ■ AUS v WALES Cardiff SAT 1 DEC ■ NZ v WALES Cardiff SAT 17 NOV SEE OUR WEBSITE FOR PACKAGE DETAILS!

SKIFEST JOIN US FOR A MASSIVE WHITE XMAS & NYE AT THE FRENCH ALP’S BEST RESORTS! 21 DEC-1 JAN £749 ■ Skifest Xmas + Paris NYE ■ Xmas Coach Tour 21-29 DEC £599 ■ Xmas Flight Tour 23-30 DEC £699 ■ NYE Coach Tour 28 DEC-5 JAN £599 ✔ Accom on-piste ✔ Ski/snowboard hire ✔ 6 Day skiing

HOGMANAY EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY ■ 3 Night Hostel & Hotel 30 DEC-2 JAN fr£239 ■ 4 Day Coach Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN £309 ✔ Accom ideally located in the absolute heart of town ✔ Street party pass ✔ Superb pubs, bars & clubs

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM 103

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TRAVEL

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS WEEKEND BREAKS EDINBURGH BY RAIL from £170

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HOLLAND & BELGIUM

from

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Tour Includes: Luxury coach travel, Return cross channel ferry crossings 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, all rooms ensuite., 2 course evening meals provided at the hotel including free bar 20.30hrs – 23.00hrs, Excursion to Brugge Plenty of free time to explore, Services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager

CHEAPEST VACCINATIONS ONLINE VACCINATION SEARCH NO CONSULTATION FEE!

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104 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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18/06/2010

22/6/12 19:26:59

TRAVEL

PAMPlona

6 July!

LATE SEATS AVAILABLE FOR ON THE BEST RUNNING OF THE BULLS TOURS Run the Bulls with the Pamplona experts The magical opening ceremony only days away: ✔ Pamplona’s BEST camp – Estella ✔ Music, dancing, sangria, top facilities at our party camp ✔ Shuttles, breakfasts, t-shirts ✔ exclusive parties & excursions ✔ Choice of dorms or camping 5, 6 or 7 day tours from £249 Accom packages from £129 Flying and transfer options

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LA TOMATINA 2012

JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIEST AND LARGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD 28-30 Aug – great value tours from just £145!

✔ 3 or 4* hotels in superb central Valencia position ✔ Great breakfasts ✔ Welcome party ✔ Transfer to tomato fight Bunol ✔ Fully escorted by experienced PP guides

info@pptravel.com 020 7930 9999

pptravel.com

FREE PRIZES AND TRIP GIVE-AWAYS ON PP TOURS IT’S OUR 21st! Celebrate with PP in 2012 as we offer all passengers the chance to win on all upcoming tours and packages.

(1991-2012): 21 years of great party tours!! TNTMAGAZINE.COM 105

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* even better with our best mate. Get ready to take a tour of our favourite pubs! Claire and Mark The cab driver who loves the Beatles: Thanks for the impromptu tour around South Bank. I enjoyed your positivity, and especially enjoyed when, upon seeing a woman heaving on the sidewalk, you referred to her as a national treasure. You made this Kiwi feel like a Londoner. Cheers mate. Jack

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Thank you for taking me to Singapore. Who knew they had casinos? I though I was supposed to make money on those slots, but instead I have come back without anything to show for it. Could you spare me some? I spent the last I had on the blonde with fake tits. Ha ha, it was worth my life savings. What happens in Singapore stays in Singapore, right? Peter. Welcome to London town Erin!: Can’t wait to show you around my adopted homeland. Get ready to blow some dough in Camden Market and work out your

heels on the cobble stone streets after long nights in the pub. Bring your camera because you might not remember this trip without some snapshots. Amanda. Opera Angel: This is a call-out to the woman who let me have her seat at the Opera in Trafalgar Square. I understand why you left – the man on your right had right nasty breath and wouldn’t stop singing – totally off key. However, the view was amazing, and I had chewing gumin my pocket. Gotta be prepared! Megs. The girl wearing dusty cowboy boots on her bike down Kingsland Road, Shoreditch: I thought I was the only person in London wearing cowboy boots daily. I’m intrigued to know your story. I reckon those boots came with a cowgirl hat and, I certainly wouldn’t mind having a closer look at them sometime. Don’t be a stranger. Tom. To the girl with the pink shawl in the bathroom of Regency Pub: Trying to take a wiz in the sink always ends up with a bruised tailbone. Next time just wait for an open stall and remember to shut the door. It’s the little things that make the loo a success. Nadine. Noah, bro: It wasn’t my fault. Your sister came on to me. She wore that short black skirt and the next thing I knew your lounge chair only had three legs and you were looking at our naked heap on the floor. Sorry mate, I owe you a drink. Bros before … well, you know what they say. Yeah. Cody.

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Photos: Getty

Van tour: Last minute call out for anyone looking to join van tour this year. We are looking at buying a van, but need one more for our crew. Contact Jaden on 07749176532. To the hottie at the checkouts in Sainsbury’s, Hammersmith: I could put that hicky to shame – can I get a personal price check on my melons? Mandy To the American Birthday Girl: Turning 21 isn’t that big of a deal. You could drink the night before, no need to scream every time you take a shot. Telling your friends you love them is lovely, for the first time, but after the 10th time I am sure they love you slightly less. Happy birthday, please don’t come back to this pub for a second round. Nath The brunette barman: Your hazel eyes make me slur my words without taking one drink. I don’t even like beer, but you turn on my tap every time. More froth, please. Becky The dashing Down Under diver: Your attempt to plunge into the Thames may have been unsuccessful, but the abs underneath your black T-shirt did not go unnoticed. Anytime you need a rub down or a skinnydipping buddy I hope I am there. I will keep my eye out for your breast-stroke. Keep it tight. Beth. Wecome to Londonium, Katie: After years of convincing you to come to the land of fun and travel, you’ve landed! Backpacking is going to be

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